#more under the cut cos its long but food for thought

[fatguarddog]

Thinking about magical weight gain while at work doing customer service. At first it's easy enough to hide just that bit more plumpness to your middle that is slowly but surely becoming rounder. Your shirt is big enough that none of the customers notice but you are painfully aware of every bit of new fat. Looking down on yourself every time you don't have to talk to a customer checking how much rounder you've gotten, touching your belly embarrassed by how good it feels.

Slowly your shirt is starting to get tight. Your swelling belly undeniable in its size. You can feel it wobble with every move you make. A few of your regulars make comments as they go by- have you put on a few? They thought you looked thinner yesterday. You play the part of the perfect service employee and make small talk about it. You ruefully pat your belly and say yeah you're planning to go on a diet soon. It feels so perfect and big under your hand.

Your shirt gets ever tighter. It looks painted on, your belly button clearly visible through the fabric, before starting to rise up over your ever expanding middle leaving more and more of your bare belly on display. You're glad your work gives you one size trousers for everyone, you only need to loosen the drawstring, otherwise there's no way your ever fattening ass and tighs could fit in there anymore. Customers are giving you weird looks as your belly hangs out of your shirt but social decorum demands that they don't mention it. You keep bumping into things as you work, unused as you are to your new size. You're a professional you act as if nothing is happening but God does it feel amazing.

Your belly keeps growing and growing. Your shirt keeps rising exposing more and more until eventually the entire by now massive thing is on display. Even your trousers are getting worryingly tight cutting into you and fighting against the everpresent onslaught of your growing body. Customers are staring openly. You don't have the faintest idea how you would even begin to excuse all this. You rest your belly on the counter now whenever you can. It's so heavy and takes up so much space. Even the available space on the counter is getting smaller and smaller. There's a third of your shift left. You've never been this embarrassed in your life. But you're also excited to see how big you're going to be by the end of this.

Bonus points if this scenario is self induced. Maybe there's a food or drink the employee keeps snacking on and they figure out it makes them bigger after the first few pounds but they also can't make themselves stop, decorum be damned.

Love love love this, the way customers and co-workers would notice all day long cus it's impossible to hide that you're ballooning up ahhhhhhh

Everyone staring... admiration, lust, confusion or disgust... all of it's a turn on

[thevalleyoftriumph]

Helloo o/ I'm the anon from earlier who sent you many many questions about your system chosen Very glad that my ask wasn't overwhelming because I approach with yet more questions >:] get ready Does Dark know Chosen is a system? Or a part of a system? Unsure of the correct way to call it. What does he think of each of them if yes? I can see Dark talking excitedly about a shared interest with Killer, Dark loves Chosen dearly but its. Difficult. To get a bit of emotion out of him. Killer though? Once they feel comfortable around him I can see them allowing themselves to become more expressive/ easily excited "Beast had sorta filed them away as one of the very few ""trustworthy"" sticks" <- quote from the answer you gave to my first ask. I'm guessing Dark was also in this list yes? Beast was co-conscious during AVA3 if i remember correctly and so saw Dark was willing to help and defend. Even if Beast didn't trust them 100% it didn't think of them as a threat right? Maybe even considered him an ally And if yes, Dark was on the Trustworthy list, what about the virabot thing made Beast decide "Hmmm no he's an enemy actually"? I wonder how Killer unmasking around Dark for the first time went, and whether that's how Dark found out his brother is a system Has Killer ever jumped 10ft in the air because they were startled by the toaster? And if yes, how long did it take for Dark to stop laughing Has Beast ever come out mid spar? Realises they're mid combat so rushes out to protect and- And Dark realises he's not fighting who he was before, Chosen doesn't look at him with infinite distrust. Killer doesn't stand both ready for combat and to flee at a moments notice (Beast wouldn't flee, but despite that, I think its always ready to). Dark just backs away slowly I think, lowering his hands and doing everything possible to communicate he's not a threat. This allows Beast a bit of extra time to take in what's around, just incase its missed something in its initial assessment and. And they're both wearing handwraps, Dark's taken their bracelet off and whoever was here before Beast tied their jacket round their waist. Beast doesn't need to protect here, but it does now need to apologise I'm guessing Beast remembers it can speak while fronting from time to time right? Even if it feels Odd. I've got the mental image of Dark cooking something for himself, except Beast ALSO likes it alot alot and Dark just hears "Please." from behind him. Turns around to see Beast staring at him like its trying to beam the thought directly into Darks mind. They understand, and Dark maybe even gets a "Thank You" after the foods made. Idk, I like small things like that, if Dark doesn't know Chosen's a system then its just a small couple What-If's or What-Could-Have-Been's Also, what is a Singlet? I cant remember where you used the word but I am unfamiliar with it Also also, VERY happy that my terminology is correct, that whole ask I was terrified that I was aggressively wrong about something and was going to end up being incredibly rude Also ALSO also, I am giving Beast a mug of hot chocolate and a weighted blanket. It deserves to relax Breaking this up into more than one ask because tumblr is angry with me

WOW. HI!!!! OH MY GOD. HELLO. you are literally the most bestest person ever for being so curious and allowing me to speak so much WOW okay let me break all this down.

putting everything once more under a cut, but a breakdown here is i FIRST go through unrelated things such as helping a bit with your confusion on terms and meanings, before getting into the actual AVA stuff, so if anyone wants to skip that, there Is gonna be a linebreak ^_^ a lot of it is just definition talk so its probably boring if you already know this stuff lol. if youve come just for the headcanon, feel free to skip down to it! <3

FIRST ! since you were a bit confused, i would like to say; DID specifically stands for "Dissociative Identity Disorder." It is probably the most well known of the disorders that would constitute as being a "system" disorder, if you will. In the past it has been referred to by other things such as MPD, or multiple personality disorder, but that is since considered inaccurate and incredibly out of date.

OSDD, or Other Specified Dissociative Disorder, is another dissociative disorder as the name implies. In one specific case, is similar to DID in that a major symptom is the forming of distinctive parts - or alters - but has enough differences that it's been classified as it's own thing [though iirc, some professionals are debating if the distinction is necessary? Honestly I'm not a psychologist so I can't really comment on that part, but I felt it was worth noting that this was brought up once or twice.]

The distinction here is this; DID is usually diagnosed when there are at Least two distinct "parts" to a person, often being two [or more] entirely seperate people, and is paired with amnesia. This is not at all everything to do with the disorder, as it's a massively complex disorder with plenty of symptoms, but it is this specific symptom set in its most basic explanation. OSDD however can vary! OSDD-1 is specifically defined by wikipedia as when one is experiencing a "sub thresh-hold" to DID. There's way more "types" to OSDD, and as such I am not nearly equipped enough to talk about 2-4, but chances are if you're speaking to a system who has it, they will usually have either OSDD-1A, or -1B. These two aren't technically real diagnostic terms, they're moreso used to describe a set of symptoms. 1A is defined as having less disticnt alters than DID or 1B. 1B is specified by a lack of complete blackouts, aka amnesia, though they may instead experience grayouts and emotional amnesia. To be fair in at least my case specifically, grayouts are pretty common rrrregardless? But honestly that might just be a My Own Thing issue and a case of overlapping symptoms than anything else, so don't take my word for it entirely lol I get complete blackouts and grayouts and its soooo miserable helppp [I'm being lighthearted in tone on purpose you're allowed to laugh ^_^ /gen]

Lastly, the term "singlet" is an unofficial term that a lot of systems online use to refer to people who do not have alters. I'm like 99.9% sure it's like, never used in a professional setting, but I'm also Not a psychologist, again, so I have no clue if it's ever used offline. It's not anything negative, just a descriptor term the same way many other descriptor terms are used :]

Okay that's about it for explaining things. If anything else confuses you for any reason please don't be afraid to ask! And if you wanna look into it yourself, all I'll say is use literally anything OTHER than social media for research, there's a crazy amount of misinfo, especially on Tumblr or Tiktok.

Onto the questions and scenarios -- for questions, I will once again copypaste and bold them. For scenarios, I'll probably end up putting in a screenshot [with IDs, don't worry] for clarities sake.

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1: Does Dark know Chosen is a system? Or a part of a system? Unsure of the correct way to call it. What does he think of each of them if yes?

For a very long time, Dark had NO idea Chosen was part of a system. [And either descriptors work, I honestly use both depending on which sounds less clunky at the time lol].

Dark had just assumed Chosen had some odd "quirks" here and there for ages, and didn't really push too hard whenever "Chosen" ended up getting really quiet, or more jumpy. I def agree with your HC that Dark probably doesn't have very many interactions [if any at all] with sticks outside of Chosen, so at most he just assumes this is normal.

Of course eventually, they do end up telling him - it takes a lot of effort on their part to build up the courage to do it and not immediately chicken out, because this is a Pretty Personal Thing after all, but like. Dark takes it so much better than they were expecting? And he's also very open to accomodating the other two with very little issue. Even if it takes time for Killer [and even Beast] to relax enough around him, and even if he does still have some trouble telling who's-who at first, he does try his best. At the end of the day, the three are his family, and he DOES care about them.

While we already know [or can at least infer] what he feels about Chosen, he does have different thoughts about the other two. You're 100% right this part specifically:

Dark and Killer do have quite a bit of overlapping interests, they realize once they get to talking to each other! They honestly bounce off each other scarily well, and are the type of people to start a stupid bit as a joke and just keep adding onto it for like, twenty minutes. For the most part, Dark's perception of Killer is positive! He's also gotten a bit into the habit of being A Bit Obviously Noisy around the house once realizing Killer's issue with being snuck up on or surprised - previously, Dark was unintentionally VERY quiet. He's naturally sorta light on his feet, lacking footsteps most of the time, and ends up startling most people. After both a discussion and accidental event, he starts trying to be more purposefully loud in their home, especially if he's somewhere Killer can't see, or has to be behind them for one reason or another. Nothing anything TOO loud - no slamming doors or footsteps, no yelling, just casual noise. Jewelry that clacks together or just humming a song.

With Beast, he's more cautious. He understands its purpose, and why it's there, and for the most part, Dark doesn't really.... saying he doesn't mind makes it seem like something it's not but honestly I can't find a better way to word it. He doesn't mind its staring or its lack of speaking, and I'm also gonna pull up another part you said because honestly while I initially wanted Beast to be 100% quiet I'm a massive fan of this little scenario and so I'm adopting it into my worldview immediately;

So yeah Dark is like, completely on board with Beast's more odd traits, once it actually is able to relax for once. I'd say Beast is probably the one Dark knows the least just by way of it rarely ever fronting outside of the more dire circumstances. He knows enough from what he can piece together from his own memories of it, plus any resulting messages from Chosen and Killer depending on how much they know about it at that point in time. However, if asked personally and privately, Dark would express a bit of sympathy, maybe worry for Beast. He understands what it's like to be seen as a sort of... villainous person - not to the severity that Beast had been treated, but he can sympathize. And while he leans into it, he knows that it's the last thing Beast - or Chosen and Killer for that matter - would want for themselves. He sometimes wishes he could do more to help it, but often refrains from trying, knowing that any pushing could absolutely do more harm than good at this point, no matter how much he wants to try. It's a tricky situation, and it's a very unsteady trust they have, and he's not willing to rock the boat too hard and end up hurting the three. As I love to say about my favorite antagonist characters; he's a villain, not a monster, he's got standards lol

1.5: Assuming Dark DOESNT know Chosen is/ is apart of a system (still don't know the correct way to call it), how does he react to switches? Or Killer and Beast in general?

Switches, in general, are meant to be pretty covert of a thing. If all goes right, no one should be able to tell, at the very least not right away, that a switch occured. Thus, before Dark learned about everything, a few little things did tip him off as to something being a bit.. off with "Chosen." He'd notice a lot of forgetfulness of things that happened literally yesterday, or sudden preferences doing a complete 180 into something else, or, like you mentioned, complete silence all of a sudden. If it's a big enough and sudden enough change then he would definitely notice how odd it is and just kinda file it away for later, thinking "oh that was really strange, maybe I should ask about that?"

Yeah honestly all of this is pretty accurate to how that'd go down pre-knowing. Like I said Dark definitely hasn't interacted with very many people [if anyone at all] outside of Chosen and thus does think this is probably normal to a degree, but the first few times [more like a couple hundred times] it DOES kinda hurt a bit and cause some confusion before they can work something out for it.

2: ...I'm guessing Dark was also in this list yes? Beast was co-conscious during AVA3 if i remember correctly and so saw Dark was willing to help and defend. Even if Beast didn't trust them 100% it didn't think of them as a threat right? Maybe even considered him an ally

Oh yeah, for a while after it was able to let go of the constantly moving train of thought that consisted exclusively of just "protect" and "danger," it did for a long time consider Dark trustworthy enough to feel safe around and to relax, even if it was just the tiniest amount. It's almost always on guard, but... well, surely it can let Dark watch its back just this once, right? It was a sort of "well, you're not hurting me, and we are fighting the same guy, so......." sort of allyship at first. It probably definitely helped that for a long time between AVA3 and Showdown, Dark and Chosen probably had pretty relaxed lives outside of the whole tormening the internet thing. They probably didn't really do anything that'd warrent the feeling of danger in their free time, so on the days when Beast would be the one jolting awake at night, it'd be able to, slowly, calm down. Plus, with Dark being so open minded about things that help Beast instead of hurt it, and the way the other two seemed fine with him, it did begin to trust him.

2.5: And if yes, Dark was on the Trustworthy list, what about the virabot thing made Beast decide "Hmmm no he's an enemy actually"?

Oh god, the Virabots. Yeah that whole thing was a complete MESS for the three honestly. It was less the presence of the Virabots themselves and moreso the actions that Dark had made them do against Chosen specifically. Until then, Chosen was mostly cautious about them - he knew they could be dangerous, but at that point still believed he could talk Dark out of his plan. Along with this, Dark is kinda the worlds most emotionally constipated guy ever, and has ZERO skills in talking about his plans and feelings without requiring people to do a five page deconstructive essay to decipher what he means about it. To Chosen, the second that first Virabot ended up trying to actively kill him, was when the seed of doubt kinda bloomed. He was worried then, and had the idea that yes, Dark is still a killer, he is destructive, always has been, and is fully capable of hurting him - or worse, if he somehow got the upper hand. Chosen knows this fact very, very well. It was quite literally their first ever interaction.

But he still wanted to believe Dark wouldn't do that.

Until he got quite literally dogpiled, of course. I'd say the second Dark started actively sic'ing Virabots at him was the moment that Chosen pulled back and Beast shoved itself into front going "okay, this is serious, this is not the person we trusted, because our Dark wouldn't hurt us like this." It was vehement denial mixed with a sort of bitter "I told you so" feeling. It saw this coming, it let its guard down, it trusted someone, and now it was being attacked by something it could barely take on as one, nevermind tens, maybe hundreds. It was being attacked by Dark. So it had to fix that mistake and remove the threat at the same time, if that makes sense.

^ Literally 100% you read my mind anon this has totally happened before, especially more in the early years of the two living together. You described this really well actually, and the way you described Beast's stance - ready for combat AND read to flee at a moments notice - is exactly how I picture it;; it's always ready to fight back and lash out, but moreso in that cornered way where it's obvious it also sorta wants to book it after getting enough hits in to where it'll be confident that whatevers after it Isn't Moving Towards It anymore.

I really don't have much to add to that scenario because you are literally so correct I am shaking you by the shoulders [positive tone] this is SO REAL RAAGH. Yeah ^_^

Honest to god yeah that's probably exactly how he ended up knowing. I think like I mentioned earlier, it's kinda a case of a bunch of little things adding up before they eventually tell him any details that help with understanding, but before that Dark definitely has his suspicions and it's totally because of Killer ��� Unfortunately bro is NOT very subtle if they're not putting their focus into masking /j

It'd probably be something small and inconsequential and silly, really. Something simultaniously dumb as hell but also a massive show of trust, y'know? I'd have to think more on the details but I like to think that as Killer gets more comfortable, and more sure that they don't have to pretend to be Chosen to still be safe, they let go of the masking little by little, with small things - maybe a preference in food or drink here and there, or small comments about interests that they know are much too distinct from anything Chosen ever expressed liking before. It feels more natural the more they do it, before they eventually forget to mask around Dark, because it feels more comfortable to them being themselves.

Oh yeah for sure. 5 minutes at least, paired with that sorta laughy halfhearted apology for laughing, followed by the occasional snort or huff or laugh every few minutes after that whenever Dark thinks about it for the rest of the day. Killer is not mad at the laughing but they are in fact waiting for the day they can do the same towards Dark ☝ every day they hope he trips stupidly [JOKE]

3: Who was fronting during The Box? You mentioned Chosen during Wanted, and I'm assuming its either him or Killer during the beginning of the box. But once they realise they're trapped? When Chosen turns to Victim in the episode? I can see that being Beast. I know shifts aren't always easy to spot but if Beast was going to come in at any time, it was when they realised they were trapped.

You're pretty correct here; for a lot of The Box, it's primarily Chosen, though Beast is definitely doing the metaphorical "hovering ominously in the back" thing thanks to the chase and injury sustained during Wanted. It's not quite reaching the "feeling like their life is in danger" levels at this point, but it's close and Chosen is feeling very dizzy, thanks.

You're also very correct in your assessment that realizing they're trapped is what, primarily, causes Beast to switch in; collectively, they have a VERY bad history with being trapped or imprisoned. Honestly I feel like they're actually pretty claustrophobic - I don't really see anyone mention this too much, but when Chosen got caught by the firewall in AVA2, he LITERALLY gets locked up inside a little box. It's probably cramped and dark and obviously unbreakable. That 100% left an impact on him - and in this HC, his system as a whole never really escaped that being a triggering thing.

To Beast, it feels very obviously trapped - cornered and contained much like it had been when it first formed. To it, this isn't a fight to JUST protect, but a fight to save their life. It feels genuinely like that, even if it wont die here, it'll just be imprisoned all over again, chained down and used for anothers gain. And it wants anything BUT that. It will fight tooth and nail - quite literally, might I add - to get out of there, because it believes that the second it gives up it is over for them. It has no idea what Victim wants from it -- and so it defaults to that Victim wants to fully and entirely kill them.

4: Speaking again of the box, when they realise that they are NOT beating Victim, does someone elbow Beast out of the way? To try and escape? Because fighting has proven entirely futile? Or is someone co-conning (I assume that means co-conscious) with it and convincing it to pull away, since in the original post, Vic was talking to Beast while 'Chosen' was tied up on the chair

[You're right, co-conning is short for co-conscious ^^]

Honestly probably yes? For a good while it's still fighting back, or at the very least sticking around to take the brunt of whatever Victim is throwing at them - being a protector doesn't only mean physically, it also means mentally. Sometimes things may not hurt someone on the outside, but could wreck them on the inside, and they need someone more equipped with dealing with these things - or, more crudely, Used To dealing with these things - to take over.

When it becomes apparent that Beast cant fight its way out of this, someone - though I haven't really settled on who - definitely tries to front to try other methods of escape. Maybe it's Chosen, maybe it's Killer, honestly realistically they wouldn't even be able to tell either under all that stress. There's definitely someone giving passive-influence to try and escape though. Beast is determined to intimidate Victim, and to keep the others from having to experience anything rough, but... it's a bit hard to stick around when everything in your body - externally, and internally - is screaming for you to get the hell out of there, in one way or another. In short it's having an awful time and unfortunately the others are there for the ride /j

5: Beast comes out when they're trapped or in a fight for their life, but does it (and the others) have any positive triggers that will draw them out? I've heard of music being used, or toys, maybe also food? Idk, but if you have something in mind for these three I'm curious what it is

Oh yeah positive triggers can definitely happen with systems! At the end of the day they do still trigger out an alter so it can still be pretty disorienting at first, so I will say it's mostly [at least and my and my friends cases irl] only used either when we are completely okay with it [both system-wise and alter-wise] or when whoever's in front is having a rough time and kinda needs a break, but doesn't exactly want to stress anyone else out via a negative trigger, if that makes sense.

However comma ! That does not mean I can't give positive triggers to my little guys here. Because I do think they deserve good things.

You're right in that things like music, toys, and even food are really common ones, at least in my experience and from what I've seen. Sometimes it can also be certain people! It really varies quite a bit, so when developing a headcanon that relates to that, there's quite a bit of wiggle room lol

I think it'd be slightly different for these three depending on who it is;

Chosen would probably have some related to music, and maybe a more niche one related to welding. Music because I feel like he's the type of guy to get comfort from listening to songs he loves on loop, and welding because he probably heard the sound a lot while Dark was working in his little workshop, either on the Virabots or on other such projects. [Sidenote, welding as a sound is something I'm actually pretty fond of myself, but if anyone's not a big fan of the sound of sparking, or repetative "buzzing", you probably won't like it if you look it up lol. It's not too loud on video, but I can see how it'd get annoying or give someone a headache.]

Killer is definitely the more food oriented one in all honesty. Maybe even specific books it's read? Certain meals that it enjoys are primarily it though - maybe things that it's made with Dark that it has a positive association with? Or things that it's tried once or twice, REALLY loved, and ended up always snagging front when they eat it because of that association. That kinda thing lol.

Beast is... kinda tricky to think of actual positives for? Not because it doesn't enjoy anything - honestly I think it's the type to enjoy slow and relaxing activities that it doesn't need to put a lot of thought into. Moreso because it's hard to pin down anything that would actively trigger it out just to experience. I am open to suggestions here! But for now I'll probably have to leave it at just, if it has any, it hasn't found out what they are yet </3

6: Can they feel the emotions of the other alters? I'm guessing they can feel the emotions of whoevers fronting, because physical sensations, but if someone was fronting and the other two were hovering over their shoulder so to speak, would they be able to tell how they feel?

Unrelated to this question but I had no idea emotions were a physical sensation that people felt until like, a few months ago, like it was just baffling to me it's kinda funny now that I think abotu it.

ANYWAYS; honestly I'd say yes, to some degree! Passive influence is pretty common in a few systems - you'll probably hear it talked about similiarly to how you asked about it, along with people saying something like, for example, they couldn't decide what to order from a restraunt, but someone else in the system wanted [this meal], and thus there was that passive influence to get it. Not sure if that makes sense but that's basically what that can feel like - and since it applies to things like opinions sometimes, it can also presumably apply to emotions!

It'd be less of a "they can feel each others exact thoughts and feelings about this thing if they're co-conning" thing, and more of a, for instance, "Chosen doesn't have any real strong feelings about the show they're watching, but Killer on the other hand really likes it, so Chosen feels a bit of that secondhand enjoyment and positivity towards it." Sorta an ambigious background feeling if that makes any sense. They do share a brain and body after all, so sometimes things do get passed and shared that way. [This one is super projecty based off my own stuff lol, I cannot count the amount of times someones ended up passively influencing me on accident when we were stuck co-conning. It's almost comical /j]

Okay I think that's all once more, I started writing this literally as soon as you sent these in and it's been nearly 2 hours so I've probably talked your ear off [talked your... eyes out? How does that phrase translate into text. Much to think about ...] but once again literally thank you so much for being so curious, and it's really not an issue that you've sent such long asks!!!

I adore talking about this headcanon a lot. I've said it before but this HC means a lot to me as a system; we don't get a lot of representation [nevermind good representation] so a lot of the times I like to try and find a character I feel it would fit the best, and then delve into it there. This HC is very very special to me and has a very special place in my heart, so seeing not only so many people accepting and positive about it, but also your own massive curiosity and engagement, really makes me happy!

Plus, ever since I posted this HC ages and ages ago in the community I've seen a ton more pop up every once and a while. It does make me pretty happy to see HCs like this be so widely accepted and appreciated. Along with that, I've also seen other systems in the fandom get super excited about this HC!!! And I'm just so so so happy that my silly little headcanon about sticks in this guys head can make other people feel more seen. I think it's the highest compliment to anything I've ever made. :]

[justalittletomato]

of stews and regrets ( Dad! Maul and co)

you know how long its been since I did a fic? A long time! So happy to get something out! Have some angst as a treat!

@eyecandyeoz @patchiefrog @apocalypticwafflekitten @storm89 @pixiestookourstardust @hannagoldworthy @gran-maul-seizure @mando-cyare

The insistent beep of the steamer went off, the familiar aroma of seasoned meat and vegetables wafted throughout the small ship. It was the very last the prepared food his Star had packed for him. After this it was ration bars. 

He scoffs, once he had no trouble scarfing those bars when it was required for him to eat. Food was a necessity.  Now his stomach protested at the thought of those dry and tasteless things. 

His Starlight had spoiled him, cooking mouthwatering foods and sharing meals in close quarters. Tender meats and stews that were full of spices and burnt his tongue.  A pocket potato bundled into his pack filled with cheeses and bit of bacon. He has cured the meat himself and had it smoking, he had taking a liking to preparing meats and meals alongside his Star. 

A final plate of bantha steak and grilled vegetables…packed up neatly and with care. The terrors as he and the others had dubbed them aided with preparing this trove of food. The littest Danica, with her toothy grin, was pleased with herself as she had aided with the meat this time. The zabrak licked her lips after sampling a piece, declaring the meat , “ a masterpiece” 

“There will be plenty more when you come back!” she declared, he gave her a smile while his Starlight would not look at him. He was leaving again. 

Maul was too hasty too starved, before he registered it the plate was empty. “A clean plate!” the terrors would glady cheer. Yes a clean plate, for once he did not celebrate it. 

—

“Maybe we should make…” Little Danica declared to her buir as they walked the passages of the Fortress. Aria Baras tried her best to smile and follow with Danica’s happy plans for what to prepare for when Maul returned, whenever that may be. 

“Maybe some Bantha too! Ba’vodu Savage said it was nice and ready for us to cook up!” Aria was thankful for Savage, Maul’s brother was trying his all to step in as father to the youngest. Though Danica would firmly keep her storybooks tucked under her pillow, only Maul was allowed to read her to sleep, “We will lose our place, ba’vodu,” she explained, “and you don’t do the voices as well as my buir”  

How long would Danica wait so hopeful that Maul would return?  Aria’s eyes wandered to the closed doors of the hanger, how long would she stay and wait? 

—-

Elsewhere in the galaxy Cress Oppress cursed under his breath and set back the sweet potato he has grabbed. It was only him and Leta, no need for more. At the Fortress with the terrors  there was always room for more, “Extra is always best” his beloved buir would say tossing in another cut up sweet potato into the pot.  

His buir always ensured there was extra food, growing up Cress was always the one who asked for seconds and maybe even thirds if possible. His ba’vodu Savage had joked that Cress had inherited double the appetite. His buir, Maul had sported a fond smile at the joke. 

He didn't feel so hungry now, and put the potato away. 

You aren't him. You aren't going to turn into him. 

As if trying to cover the mirrors in the ship weren't always a step too far.  The meat sizzled in the pan, he and his sweetheart were able to take down some game on their mission and Cress wanted to ensure she ate well.  He preferred to think he was more like his buir, Starlight.  Always taking care of others and making sure their tummies were full. 

The mix of spices were just like hers, but it never tasted the same to him. He missed her terribly. He missed her humming away as she worked and stirred the pot, he had been at her side helping as far as he could remember. Always rewarded with the first sampling of the food. He and his twin Aster would at times battle for the first plate. She often won with a sizable bite to his hand or shoulder.  His buir would scold her for the biting and send her to the table second. Cress nursing his bandaged hand. His buir always took care of him. 

The pan sizzled at the drops of water splashing on the surface. He missed his buir. He missed home. 

—- 

Maul gagged at the chalky taste of the ration bar. Forcing another bite of it down his throat despite the protests of his stomach. He had to eat. 

Finally finished he tossed the wrapper to the far side of the ship. He glanced at the meager pile of supplies.  A potato a carrot… even some packed ham….he could cook up something. He knew how. He could. 

Yet he remained sitting at the helm, leaving the supplies to sit there until he tossed them at the next station in exchange for more ration bars. 

He deserved this. He left. He deserved this.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

A Glitch in the Matrix

This is a Shroud brothers age swap AU that I’ve been wanting to write for a long time!!

Idia basically has the same backstory (except Ortho is the dead older brother and Idia is just a bratty like… 10 year old) 😂 This model of Ortho is significantly older (think late teen) because I’m operating under the assumption that kid!Idia built a version of his brother “grown up” so he can have the experience of growing up with him. Slightly different coping method than the OG, but I thought this would be something cute and silly to explore.

Young children are notoriously known for being brutally honest and lacking a filter, so kid!Idia is even sassier than OG!Idia. As for adult!Ortho, I kept him being sneaky, but I also made him super big brotherly!

This is meant to take place during episode 1 of the main story (more specifically, the scene when Trey is explaining the different dorms to Yuu and co)! ^^ Yes, the joke is that Diasomnia’s introduction is forgotten about because they get caught up on Ignihyde—

Imagine this…

“Hey, who are those guys?” Grim pointed at the far end of the cafeteria. “They feel kinda different from everyone else.”

Your eyes followed his paw, landing on a lone table that had been maneuvered to the farthest corner of the room.

A few students—pale as death and donning blue vests—hunched over it, their frames made so small that they barely registered as people. A veil of gloom seemed to cling to them like spiderwebs, hollowing their faces and darkening their eyes. It was like they had been unearthed from their graves and unceremoniously dropped into the school.

“Oh, them?” Trey chuckled faintly. “They must be from Ignihyde. Students from that dorm have a strong grasp on magical tech, but they aren’t exactly the most sociable guys. A lot of them can’t handle talking face-to-fa—”

“Hello!!”

“Whoa…!”

Everyone at the table startled as a blur of blue and silver bounded into view. Forks and spoons clattered, food leapt up from its trays, some of it catching onto clothes and flecking onto skin.

“Sheesh, don’t scare us like that!” Cater groaned, wiping a dot of applesauce from his cheek. “Riddle-kun will have our heads if even one hair’s out of place!”

“Ehehe, sorry! I was just so excited when my visual receptors picked up on unfamiliar faces!”

"M-Myah?! Wh-What the heck, this guy came straight outta nowhere!!" Grim cried.

“Who’s…?” Your voice trailed off as you took a closer look at the stranger.

Sapphire flames in the place of hair danced upon his scalp, a stark contrast to his pallid face. His amber eyes were so striking, so bright, it was like electricity coursed through them. Everything about him was sharp, as though he had been cut out of something tougher than diamonds. But his body—

It was decidedly not that of a human.

Perhaps the most “human” thing about him was the pair of headphones casually slung around his neck—an accessory to pass as a teenager. The rest of his tall, lithe frame was carved out in a silvery white metal, glowing blue lines running down his torso. The joints at the young man's fingers, knees, and elbows were visible, and where his heart should have been was another haunting blue flame.

His feet were particularly strange; too chunky to be made of flesh and bone, but formed like platform boots. And then you realized why his initial appearance had been so odd: he had not walked, but rocketed over. He hadn’t even touched the ground.

You assumed that he smiled at you—you couldn’t tell for certain, as his mouth was concealed behind a black guard of some sort, a skull-like pattern printed on it.

“You are…?”

“Ortho. Ortho Shroud.” He pulled down his mouth visor, showcasing cobalt lips arranged in (as you had suspected) a grin. It was both innocent and mischievous, as though he had a secret yet to be unleashed. “It’s always nice to get to know the new blood~"

“You’re a student too?” Deuce asked excitedly. "Oh...! That would make you our upperclassman, wouldn't it?!"

“Duh, of course he is,” Ace said with a roll of his eyes. "What else would he be, a janitor? The local handyman?"

You shot him a sideways glare for the jab.

“Better a janitor or a handyman than a kid that got put in time out,” you shot back, gesturing to the enchanted collar chaffing Ace’s neck.

He frowned.

“I am present at Night Raven College to monitor and to support my younger brother during his studies,” Ortho replied. "He is a first year in Ignihyde."

His response, you noticed, didn’t fully answer the question.

"What, so there's another big guy lumberin' around campus with his hair on fire?" Grim snickered at the thought. "Must be real easy to spot him in a crowd then!"

"Heheh. Wouldn't you like to know?"

There was an ominous undertone to his words, sending the ghost of a chill crawled down your spine.

"Alright, alright, that's enough of that. You didn't come all this way just to tease the freshmen, right?" Trey adjusted his glasses knowingly. "If I know you, Ortho... you're looking for something."

"Foiled me already, huh? You're no fun." He stuck out his lower lip in a playful pout. "But yes, that is correct. I wanted to ask a little favor of our new friends!"

"You’re already charming your way into getting free labor from your juniors? So mean~ What kind of heartless monster would do such a thing?"

Trey raised an eyebrow at Cater. "I seem to recall someone shirking his unbirthday party duties and dumping the workload onto the underclassmen."

"Ehhh, are you seriously putting me on the spot?"

"Better watch out, Loosey Deucey," Ace smirked to his classmate. "If you're not careful, Cater-senpai's gonna work you ragged!"

"I wouldn't fall for something like that!" Deuce stopped, reconsidering "... Unless they really, REALLY needed me! It's the duty of an honors student to lend a helping hand when asked to!"

"Dude, you're making it too easy to dupe you.”

“I-I’m not easy to dupe!! I could turn down any request if I wanted to!”

“Grim? Prefect? Back me up here.”

You tensed at the suggestion of being tricked. You'd been fooled once by cruelty disguised as kindness—Ace's taunts masked as friendliness—and you wouldn't be fooled again.

"Sorry, senpai. I'm not sure if there's anything I can do for you. I'm just trying to focus on learning the campus and my schedule, so..."

"There's no need to worry! I am at least 20.8% less deceptive than the general student populace of Night Raven College."

"Where did you pull that statistic from?" you wondered, suspiciously eyeing Ortho.

He accepted it in stride. "I am an advanced artificial intelligence. I'm able to run a number of advanced calculations in seconds. There are several other functions only I am capable of—so please believe me when I say that if there were a method for me to resolve this issue alone, I would have."

You hesitated.

The argument Ortho provided was compelling. Maybe too compelling.

"... What do you want?"

Ortho stared directly at Grim.

"H-Hey, what're you lookin' at me for?"

You felt Ortho’s smile under the visor widening. "I'd like to play a game of cat and mouse."

“You can’t find your little brother?”

You briskly walked by Ortho's side, the two of you traversing a hallway which opened into a sunny courtyard. A squirming Grim was tucked under your arm.

The furry gremlin had been taken against his will, whisked out of the cafeteria and away from his plate of mashed tuna, abandoning the Heartslabyul boys to the remainders of their own meals.

"I'll help you, Prefect!" Deuce had promised, only to be shut down by Ace's teasing. ("Oi, what happened to 'I can turn down any request if I wanted to'?")

Not that they would have been of any use, you thought. A statue set on fire, Ace trapped under a cauldron, and a shattered chandelier dancing in your mind.

By now, Grim's loud whining had (thankfully) eased into unhappy grumbling.

Ortho nodded. "I would regularly be able to locate Idia-san by running a campus-wide scan for all living organisms, then isolating by biometrics. However, I can't seem to find him no matter how many times I run the program. He must be using a device to jam my detective capabilities from afar."

"Really? You look... complicated," you commented carefully. "Your brother sounds like some kind of a genius if he's able to pull that off."

"He is," Ortho said sunnily.

"... Well, that's putting you in a bind right now, so I don't think we should be happy about his big brain cells."

“It shouldn’t be an obstacle. Idia-san may be highly intelligent, but I have a trump card now thanks to you!” Ortho snuck a peek at Grim and graced him with a firm head pat. “A cute kitty cat!”

“I’m NOT a cat!!” Grim protested, swiping at Ortho’s metal hand.

“Because you said your little brother likes cats?”

“Yes. I’m sure that we’ll be able to lure him out with this!” Ortho waved a hand into the courtyard. “This would be an optimal spot. It’s a relatively wide open space, so it would appear more innocuous to set our trap here.”

You slowed your pace and scanned the outside, seeking out a blue fire that matched the android's. It was notably empty, with most students away for their lunch break.

“Oi, can ya stop talkin’ about me like I’m your bait?!”

“Quiet, Grim,” you shushed, setting him down in the grass. “You are our bait. Now get your tail out there and try to act natural!”

With that, you rushed to hide yourself behind a column. Ortho chuckled to himself, joining you behind an adjacent one.

“Grrr…”

Grim begrudgingly got on all fours and padded onto the lawn. He glanced around the courtyard and cleared his throat. “Uh… ‘meow’?”

There was silence.

"Meow, meow, me-ooooow!"

The silence grew staler.

"... Okay, that's enough of a stain on the great Grim-sama's reputation for one day!" He stood on his hind legs and stretched his arms to the sky. "I'm headin' back to get my fill of fish!"

"Not yet!! Try doing something cute like licking yourself or playing with a ball of yarn!"

“Not if you’re gonna watch, minion!!”

"I can look away if you're embarrassed."

"That's not the problem here!!"

"What is the problem then?"

"Shh! Wait—” Ortho gasped. "I'm detecting movement from the opposite side of the courtyard. There, in the bushes!"

You looked where he indicated.

Indeed, one of the shrubs seemed to be quivering, causing a few of its leaves to dislodge and fall to the ground. Seconds later, there was a flicker of light, and a small boy clutching a handheld console emerged, followed what appeared to be a floating skull.

He was dressed in a frumpy, oversized black and blue striped sweater. The rest of his outfit was just as comedic and childish, with a pair of pants sporting many pockets and a pair of sneakers splattered with the colors of the night sky. Colorful characters and shapes adorned his footwear: three eyed green aliens, stars, spaceships, and astronauts.

But most importantly, he was just like Ortho. Eyes the same color, fiery blue hair that fanned out behind him, mouth a shade of cyanide poisoning, and skin that looked like it hadn't seen the sun in years.

"That's your brother? Your first year brother? He doesn't look any older than an average elementary schooler," you hissed to Ortho.

"Genius, remember?" He shrugged. "Night Raven College made a special exception for a child prodigy to enroll in its ranks."

So Idia is a child prodigy... and Ortho's a supercomputer that's supposed to babysit him? Wait, how can a robot and a human even be related? Can a human even have fire for hair? Just what kind of a family dynamic is this?!

Your brain hurt from trying to fit the details together. They were like puzzle pieces that didn't quite connect.

A strangled scream resounded in the courtyard.

You snapped to attention, leaping out from your hiding place. Horror clenched your throat, your stomach—

Idia had Grim trapped in a death grip, smushing the poor creature against his face. The little boy wore a silly, toothy grin, revealing that his teeth were pointed like an imp's. His console was shoved into one of many pockets, long forgotten in favor of the cat.

"Hihihihihi, it must be my lucky day," Idia mumbled to himself. "I thought some annoying normie finished stuffing their face with food early and started stomping and shouting, but no! It turned out to be a talented talking widdle kitty witty interrupting my private gaming session... It's okay, I'll forgive you cuz you're seriously sooo fluffy and cute!!"

"Be careful, you're hurting him!!" you called out, charging at the child. You were but a few feet away when Idia noticed you, and his excitement waned.

"E-Eep!! Are you the kitty's owner?"

"I'm NOT a cat!!" Grim moaned desperately.

"Er, no... yes... maybe..." You paused. "It's hard to define, but we live together, so that means I have a say in how he's treated!!"

Idia's expression immediately twisted into a look of total disgust. "Ew. Gross. Go away. No one asked to see your dumb face. I found the kitty, so he's mine now. You should've kept a better eye on him if you cared so much."

"Wh-What..."

What's with this sassy lost child?!

"Now you listen here, mister—“

"Idia-san!!”

Ortho flew right by you, stopping your tirade before it could even start. He practically tackled Idia, smothering him in a hug that was warm and hummed like a generator.

(Grim let out another scream as his body was compressed between the two brothers.)

"O-Ortho nii-san...!?"

"Thank goodness I found you! I was so worried when you disappeared on me!!" Ortho released Idia, but kept his hands firmly on the young boy's shoulders. "It was bad of you to run off and go into hiding like that. My circuits almost fried from the shock!!”

Grim fell to the ground in a furry heap and scrambled into your arms. “G-Get me away from that crazy kid…!!”

You held him to your chest and stroked his back comfortingly, warily eyeing Idia and anticipating another smarmy remark.

He bashfully stared down at his shoes. “………………….. S-Sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Huh?! Since when was he all shy and innocent?! His personality did a complete 180!

“It’s alright! What matters is that you’re safe and sound.” Ortho happily ruffled the flames on Idia’s head. “But promise me that you won’t do that again. I know you’re anxious since it’s your first week of school, but that’s no excuse for holing up for the day.”

“… I-I don’t wanna go to class or eat in the cafeteria,” Idia whined stubbornly, clinging to Ortho’s arm. “I saw. Th-There’s too many people.

He vigorously shook his head. "But I don't want to. I only wanna hang out with you, Nii-san... and the kitty.”

“You know that’s not healthy,” Ortho tutted. “There’s a big, bright, beautiful world out there, full of lovely people waiting to meet you. You won’t be able to experience that if you keep to yourself all year.”

"S-Sounds scary..."

"It's not scary at all! Look, your big bro met these nice people today." Ortho indicated you and Grim. "They helped me out when I was in a pinch. It's because of them that I was able to find you."

"Uh, hi?" You awkwardly waved.

Idia shuffled behind his brother's leg, glaring at you from behind it.

"Don't be like that." Ortho's eyes glimmered with cheer. "Hey, I know! Why don't you introduce yourself to them?"

"D-Do I really have to?"

"Would it help if they introduced themselves to you first?"

Idia said nothing, but his stare turned expectant. Ortho looked at you hopefully.

You sighed and relented. "... I'm the Ramshackle Prefect, and this is Grim."

"That's the GREAT Grim-sama to you, minion!"

"......................... I-Idia. Idia Shroud... I'm a first year in Ignihyde... a-and its dorm leader..."

... Huh?

"I'm sorry, what did you just say? I swear I must have misheard you." You laughed, cupping an ear.

"I'm dorm leader."

... HAH?

"Y-You're... You're a kid though?! And didn't you literally just start school at NRC? How's it possible that you became dorm leader so fast?!"

"Feh!!" Idia smirked, tapping his temples. "Unlike you simple-minded noobs, I've got the brain of a genius inventor up in here! There's nothing I can't achieve, hihihihi!"

He sealed the deal by blowing a raspberry.

Am I seriously being talked down to by a grade schooler?! You took a breath to calm yourself. No, I'm better than this. Don't get mad. Be the bigger person.

"Now, Idia-san... Bragging isn't very kind," Ortho gently chided. "Still, I'm proud of you for managing to get through giving your introduction!"

The android clapped, his face lighting up with excitement. "Since everyone's acquainted...! That makes us all brand-new friends!"

"I don't know if I'd go THAT far," you muttered. "It depends on how loosely you define 'friend'... though it sounds like your definition of it is very loose."

"Friends are friends!!" Ortho insisted. "And do you guys know what friends do?"

Oh no.

There was that odd smile of his again, clearly visible in spite of the visor hiding it. Half innocence, half mischief.

Your stomach sank. You had a bad feeling about this.

"Friends hang out together on their lunch breaks!"

... You should have listened to the warning signs Trey had pointed out.

“Alright, who wants snacks?"

Ortho placed several large bowls before you, each offering up something sweet or salty. There were chips in various flavors, candies in all colors, popcorn, and plain pretzels with a variety of dips. It was a rainbow of treats, definitely an upgrade from all the canned tuna and tap water you had been living off of for the past few days.

"Take your pick of drinks too! Plenty to go around." He pointed to a pyramid of canned beverages as he settled in comfortably next to you. This close, you could sense the heat radiating off of him, could see your reflection in his shiny coat.

"Myah?! You sure are livin' the high life!! You have so much stuff!" Grim crawled around on a fuzzy carpet, his eyes darting around, taking in all the shelves of games and merchandise, the consoles arranged in front of a large television.

"I-I have a kitty... I have an actual kitty in my room...!!" Idia looked like he was going to pass out from happiness. A first for his seemingly bloodless self. "N-Ne... d-do you want to play a game? C-Can you play games...?"

"Can I? Don't underestimate the great Grim-sama!!" He stood up and put his paws on his hips. "I won't go easy on ya just cuz you're a lil' brat! Name your game, buster!!"

“Ahhhh, I get to play with a kitty…! Th-This is pure bliss!!”

“For the last time, I’m NOT a… Oh, whatever!! Show me to your games already, I’ll fish out the best one!”

The duo dug into a cabinet, tossing out several discs and cartridges. Grim’s pitchfork-shaped tail sailed in the air as he rifled through titles. The tips of Idia’s hair were tinged pink.

You bit into a chip as you watched the scene unfold.

Grim’s acting like a little kid himself. All Ortho had to do was dangle toys and food in front of him and he instantly caved…

A cold wetness came upon your cheek.

You startled, relaxing only when you realized it was the sensation of a cold bottle being pressed against your bare skin.

“Living organisms such as yourself need to maintain adequate hydration levels for proper functioning,” Ortho advised. “Please do take care.”

“Thanks.” You cautiously accepted the drink, keeping your eyes trained on him.

He’s more cunning than he seems. Ortho talks himself down, but orchestrating all of this takes some serious computing and forethought.

Dangerous, you concluded. He’s dangerous.

“… Oh? You’re staring.”

“No, I’m not.”

“I can tell,” Ortho chirped. “Your iris and retinal activity indicates that—”

“You definitely tricked us.”

Without missing a beat, he nodded. “Yes. Are you upset that I did?”

“How much of it was planned?” you demanded, pointing the water bottle at him accusingly. “Was there really a jamming device preventing you from finding Idia on your own? When you stopped and said the courtyard was the perfect place to search… did you already know he was there?”

“Hehe. When I saw you and Grim-san in the cafeteria for the first time, I saw an opportunity to make use of our meeting, so I took it!

“My brother would have such an easier time opening up to a creature of the feline variety. I formulated a believable excuse to acquire the target.” Ortho chuckled, coy with his words. “I’d say it was a successful mission. Wouldn’t you?”

“Why didn’t you be honest with us? We would have helped if you had just…”

“I wanted it to be as close to a naturalistic simulation as possible.”

You blinked, taken aback by the immediate and blunt response.

“In a simulation,” Ortho continued calmly, “we imitate a situation in a controlled environment. Multiple factors are considered in the process. By running multiple simulations, we can collect more data and come closer to accounting for a simulation which is most closely related to the randomness that is a real-world system.

“In this situation, it was the inverse. I wanted a scenario in which less information would yield a more natural outcome.”

“You… wanted it to feel ‘real’ for Idia,” you said slowly. “It wouldn’t have worked like that if we knew what was going on and pretended like we were there by chance. You needed us to be in the dark.”

“Correct.”

Ortho had confessed to his guilt, but try as you might, you couldn’t detect any malicious intent.

“Idia-san is special—but he’s socially anxious and has a hard time getting along with his classmates. They don’t like that a young child has been enrolled at this school, or that he has taken on such an important role at it.

“As the one that has been assigned to oversee his school life, I worry. I would like Idia to enjoy his time here to its fullest, yet… the year has barely begun, and I’ve already been instructed by the headmaster that firing a laser is ‘not an appropriate defense protocol’ for dealing with bullies and other instigators…”

“… Crowley’s right about that part,” you interjected.

Ortho laughed, and the fondness and the fluidity of it stunned you. For a second, you forgot that he was not human at all, believing that he was a real boy.

“This will be the first step of many for Idia-san. I hope to be there for the rest of that journey.”

“Ortho-senpai…”

“I’m glad that our paths crossed, Prefect-san.” He flashed a winsome smile. “Thank you and Grim-san for helping me—and for indulging him.”

“… It’s no problem, but next time you’d better not pull another dirty trick like you did today.”

“Next time?” The smile turned slightly cocky, and you vaguely regretted your reply.

“I assume we’ll be seeing you around campus, not necessarily hanging out.”

“Aww, it’s not nice of you to snub your new friends like that~” There was a nip of wickedness to his teasing tone. “… I’m not a formal student, but you might still see me hanging around my little bro. Come by and say hi again sometime, will you?”

You blinked. “You’re not a student?”

Ortho gave no response. His eyes trailed over to Grim and Idia, who had seated themselves before the TV, controllers in hand.

The screen sparked to life with color and light and sound. A night sky speckled with stars blinked into view, along with bombastic blue font.

Star Rogue ~The Road to Being a Hero~

Traced by the glow of the game, the uncanniness in Ortho’s appearance became apparent. The lack of pores in his rubbery skin, the sharp metal sheen of his body, the abnormal lines running in his irises. Even his fire was just a swaying projection, a trick of the light.

Beneath his mask, fake lips moved, producing a close approximation of a human voice.

“… I can be at Night Raven College because of Idia-san.” He cupped the flame that burned in the place of his heart. “That alone… brings me happiness.”

If Ortho was a flame burning brightly, then he had dimmed to mere embers, his voice but a contemplative whisper. Cold, hard logic had been dispelled, leaving only the ashes where a feeling had once been.

Pressure welled in your chest.

I… shouldn’t pry further than this.

“N-Never mind that!” You cracked open your bottle and took a big swig out of it. Slamming it down, you wiped a stray dribble of water from your chin. “Let’s watch the game!! How does it even work, anyway?”

“Star Rogue? Oh, it’s a classic.” Ortho crossed his legs and leaned back against Idia’s bed. “You go…” He pointed a finger at you and pantomimed a firing, then a kickback. “Pew, pew!! And everything in your way explodes! You shoot down the boss and save the galaxy!

“Er… You have way more of a casual attitude on violence than you initially let on.”

Ortho shrugged. “Like I said, the headmaster forbade me from firing lasers on campus. This is the next best thing.”

“Well, as long as you’re not obliterating any real people... I guess that’s fine.”

“It’s better experienced than explained. We should go for a round after those two!” Ortho inclined his head towards Grim and Idia, eyes glued to the television and caught up in an intense round of button mashing.

You chortled. “Okay, you’re on.”

“Great. Prepare to get crushed and left in my space dust!” His eyes twinkled like the stars on the screen, the traces of sadness that had once been there gone.

So human, so real.

The feeling behind them.

Almost like his entire being was lighting up from the inside out.

Huh, so he can smile like that too.

“Hey,” you said slowly, “Ortho-senpai?”

His eyes cut to you, the alien features in his profile still illuminated. “Yes, Prefect-san?”

“I may not entirely understand your circumstances, but for what it’s worth… you have a big heart.”

He looked at you fully, pupils dilated. The fire of his hair and in his chest flared up, as if expressing surprise.

“Really,” you stressed, your brows upturned sympathetically. “Anyone would be lucky to have someone like you in their lives.”

Ortho's gaze sharpened, carefully analyzing you. Your features, your feelings. Contemplating the sincerity behind them.

After what seemed like an eternity--but was surely just a few seconds in real time--he spoke. It was a single, simple word as sweet as the taste of victory.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." You gave him a playful light tap on the shoulder.

With a soft laugh, he returned the favor. When his fist made contact with you, you could feel the warmth emanating from him.

The wires and electricity running through him. His heart pulsing.

“… But don't think this means I’ll take it easy on you,” Ortho warned. “I can get super competitive when it comes to games, you know!"

“Wouldn’t dream of it, senpai.”

[butchtwelfthdoctor]

i got peer reviewed on this post by @pikechris (sorry for the tag hope you dont mind) but still had way more thoughts hehe anyways i was gonna leave tags but it got pretty long sooo those tags and the rest of my Thoughts under the cut cos damn this did get really really long

i looked in the replies of that post & people you're not getting it he didnt kiss rory with romantic feeling behind rory was just there and eleven got excited about something else and rory visibly looks weirded out afterwards. it was practically eleven kissing as stimming. like when he kissed jenny. it wasnt out of romantic feelings at all he knows madame vastra would kill him & he isnt interested he was just happy to be able to move after the crimson horror thingy. kissing rory was also played as a joke it was a funny haha yknow. i also dont remember eleven kissing the james corden character but like whatever i cant imagine that being meaningful in any way either.

OH in the same way that nardole having a crush on twelve (canon btw nardole practically says as much is played as a joke. like with the post i mention above, like thats played as a joke because can you imagine the cool very beautiful twelfth doctor having romantic or sexual feelings towards nardole, who is literally, as missy puts it, comic relief? i dont think that its queer is a part of that but idk it might be.

but in any case. the doctor hasnt kissed or been kissed by a man with romantic intent onscreen since 2005. we COULD have had a thirteen and yaz kiss but we didnt which is i think why? people forget? about them? doctor was confimred queer she had lesbian attraction but nothing really. happened about it. so yeah. also apparently a lot of people didnt watch thirteen like cmonnnnnnnnnnn it really isnt as bad as people make it out to be.

twelve kissed missy who was probably the only person he would have kissed at that point. he's horrified when she kisses him before he knows who she is but then the very next episode he kisses her in a... if not exactly romantic a very emotionally charged way. and she knows that. we dont see them kiss again even as their relationship grows more and more romantically inclined (which i actually support any amount of canon thoschei conventional romance would probably be. bad and kill the appeal immediately) because like i said. she turns every dead body on earth into a cyberman then lies about where gallifrey is then fakes her own death then tries to get the doctor to kill clara then he leaves her on skaro iirc then he is supposed to kill her but doesnt and instead locks her in a vault for ~70 years but its okay cos they have takeaway food in there together sometimes. and then world enough and time / the doctor falls happens which i cant even start talking about or i'll never stop & thirteen was 1) aroace and 2) too emotionally repressed to even get close to kissing Anyone, let alone the master after all the timeless child stuff, even though she probably?? wanted to kiss yaz?? a bit??? at least?? yaz wanted to kiss her but there was too much emotional repression going on on both sides but mainly the doctor Which Brings Me To My Point.

Fifteen is the most, shall we say, flirty doctor we've had for a while, and Ncuti is also the first openly queer actor to play the doctor on tv, and while of course everyone on tumblr is Very familiar with all of the ways the doctor is queer (and neurodivergent) without any need for the show to specifically say so, it is really really great that a) the doctor is played by a gay actor b) there are more queer characters and c) we got an actual episode where The Doctor Is Gay With A Man. especially after the. somewhat odd. way yaz & thirteen's relationship was dealt with at the end of thirteen's run, which even though was a queer relationship was like....... not really. shown. they just talked about it. and had icecream. okayyy i guesssssssssss

BUt NOW fifteen gets an entire episode where his mutual attraction to another male character (assuming the doctor is actually a man, pretty sure i read somewhere Ncuti was he/they-ing the doctor but he might have meant the doctor in general, not just fifteen) is a Main Focus of the episode. its the main tension, the main drama, the main interest - you pretty much know from the 'okay we'll teleport the chuldur away' that thats whats going to happen, and i for one went 'oh my god rouge is going to get teleported' from the moment the doctor fixed it to carry six. the Main Focus is now their flirting, their dynamic, the way Those Two Interact, their almost kiss (which the doctor was so ready to duck out of as soon at the thing beeped, but you can tell by the look on rouge's face that he's for sure trying that again later). the doctor showing actual episode-arc spanning romantic interest in a character, let alone a specifically queer one... that doesnt happen a lot.

(the girl in the fireplace has a lot of superficial similarities, though you could also argue that madame de pompadour was far more romantically into ten than he was into her. thirteen's characteristically very awkward attempt at flirting towards yaz in the sea devils special didnt have nearly as much focus on it)

but really the point is the doctor was kissed! for the first time on tv in ten years!!!! and it was a queer kiss!! and that romance was The Major Part of the episode!! the doctor doctorwho was gay kissing a man on out television screens after a genuinely quite good build up!!!!!!!!!!! it would of of course be amazing if rouge makes another appearance (i think he will, most likely in a later season instead of the next 2 eps), and even better if we had a longer arc of that romance, but we got it!!! actual canonical queer romance for the doctor!! their first canon kiss in like at least a couple hundred years of their life, and while i am an aspec doctor who believer there are 100% time when he feels attraction and this was for sure one if them. and it was really beautiful & emotional & the flirting was fun & rouge was a good character & their dynamic was really good and yay!!!!

[ghostmaldo]

✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧♡*.✧ Special day ✎ (❁ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈) ༉‧♡*.✧

With Bungou men x GN!Reader

Rather your reading this on Valentine’s Day or any day you need a pick me up. Here is something for you. Just some general headcannons on what I think the Bungou characters would do do make a day special for their S/O

Characters might be a little OOC to make the HC fluffier.

No warnings, pure fluff. Established relationships with S/O

Ask box 💙: Open

No music this time… I was listening to muuuurdeeer this time around ^^’

⤜♡→Dazai ⤜♡→

~Most definitely annoying you right at the ass crack of dawn with warm/cold beverage and slightly burned of whatever S/O favorite food is. Though will deny any involvement of the holiday or if S/O insists his trying to make a day seem special. “I’m just trying to spoil my favorite person!” Yay okay Dazai, whateeeever you say. But hey, he tried at the very least. All morning his dropping the cheesiest and romantic poems out of the book. They probably make S/O laugh more then anything but its still a thoughtful gesture.

~The cheese factor doesn’t decrease at the ADA (much to Kunikida’s dismay). Expect to be peeked along the lips and cheeks a lot more then any other day of the week.

~I can honestly see him making crafts at his desk instead of doing paper work. Makes a little heart cut out for all of his co workers O3O. Still in denial >.>

~After work, it’s straight to S/O favorite restaurant for dinner. What? His being spontaneous! It’s been a long week, time to unwind S/O! He gueeeessses he’ll get the bill this time, but dont get use to it!

~Overall its a mostly nice and peaceful evening. Dazai and S/O are having a lovely chat about the day. They may catch a loving glance every once in awhile in Dazai’s eyes. It’s enough to make him smirk and make his S/O melt in his seat.

~Wrapping up the evening is a nice bubble bath and following is a movie night wrapped up in each other and their favorite blankets.

⤜♡→ Ranpo ⤜♡→

~Forget the ADA, him and S/O are going to all the sweets shops in town!

~Indulge with him a little in feeding each others different types of cakes and candy. Will swipe his thumb under S/O lips to remove any whip cream before putting it in his own mouth to taste.

~Que the blush

~While some how getting lost in the city. Ranpo finds a spot to get milkshakes and Boba

Does the ADA offer Dental insurance?

~ While S/O is distracted by yummy drinks, this is the time he’ll give them the most vibrant flowers they’ve ever seen. “Where were you keeping those?” “Ssshhhh, just take them!” He asked Poe to keep them fresh for him

~After dropping off the flowers in some water at home. Ranpo has one more place to drag you off to! With a few missed turns and detours of course ^^’.

~S/O might be a little surprised when he leads them to the beach, where a blanket is laid out in the sand (Though its a little blown away, nothing a quick tug at the corners won’t fix.) Regardless, as long as his S/O his happy, it was well worth it in the end. They sit listening to the crashing waves, huddle close to each other. Laughing and snacking on candy as if nothing else matter in the world.

~Sneaks a loving kiss mid sentence to seal the deal.

~”Now what were you saying darling?”

⤜♡→ Kunikida ⤜♡→

~Shows up on S/O doorstep with either their favorite flowers and or chocolate, accompanied by a small but flattering piece of jewelry. He can’t help the blush on his cheeks when his S/O hugs him in appreciation. Also expect a long sweet kiss before arriving at the ADA for the day. Once he walks through those doors its strictly buisness. But thats okay. S/O understands.

~Thhhouuugh if you show off his little gift to the other ADA members he will become flustered, while also swelling with some pride on the inside.

Dazai: Wow Kunikida, so you do have some taste~

Kunikida: WHATS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

~After the work day is finished. Kunikida hands S/O a bag with a simple but elegant outfit for them to change into. Surprise! He has dinner reservations at S/O favorite restaurant. His also wearing something pleasing to look at ^^

~Pleasent evening with shared conversations, loving glances, and a relaxed Kunikida. A sight to see, but one that is enjoyed.

~ Okay but like… imagine sharing a little slow dance right outside his shared appartment with S/O before finally retiring for the night. I’d pass away from melting

⤜♡→ Fukuzawa ⤜♡→

~Seeing his relaxed sleepy face first thing in the morning is a gift itself. As soon as he senses S/O rustling around, his wrapping his arms around S/O and pulling them close. Peppering kisses along their jaw and whispering sweet affections in their ear.

~Today’s a day he decided to arrive late into the ADA. He takes his time having breakfast with S/O and presents them with a small gift, something S/O has had there eye on for some time.

~Orders their favorite food for lunch and they share it together in his office with the door closed off to the other ADA members.

~Brushes the hair away from their neck to place a tender kiss between their shoulders. Enough to make their S/O shiver and it brings a smile to his face before having to return to his work.

~After working hours, Fukuzawa wants to have an evening in. Preparing a home cooked meal along side his S/O and putting on their favorite show/movie.

~Carries S/O to bed if they fall asleep on him during the moving. Lovingly tucks them in and joins them. Once again whispering how grateful he is to have someone so wonderful.

⤜♡→Chuuya ⤜♡→

~Hear me out, yes the man has money to spoil his S/O with. Buuuut what about going to a drive in movie theater with him? Double feature, popcorn, drinks, and whatever snacks their lover wants.

~During the movie trailers he surprised you with an extravagant piece of jewelry of S/O taste. Def helps S/O clasps it in its proper place.

~Followed by lots of loving kiss and sweet affection *Swoons*

~Probably rents out a car for this occasion so he can have some privacy with cuddle his S/O in the back. If S/O gets cold he offers them his jacket that is covered in his natural scent and cologne *Double swoon*

~After the movie ends at nearly 1am, I can see him offering to take S/O out to eat at whatever place may be open so late. Imagine getting the food to go but eating it in the parking lot of said restaurant. Casually conversing about the movie.

~By the time him and S/O are dragging their feet through the door, it is most defiantly time for bed. Maybe a quick shower and a change into comfortable pjs. Cuddling close to each other basking in each others shampoo scent until Chuuya once again finds you in his dreams.

⤜♡→Akutagawa ⤜♡→

~This one will be the toughest out of everyone. He isn’t exactly well versed in making something special for anyone. But Prehaps with some help from Gin, he does attempt. Key word. Attempt.

~For Aktugawa, I think it would be really sweet if his S/O were to help guide him in his endeavors. Struggling to make breakfast? Let’s do it together! No clue on jewelry? Open the conversation. He’ll be attentive to S/O answers. His not really a people person? The park is a nice open space, or Prehaps a night in with movies, or something of a similar manner.

~Fooorehead kisses, please don’t bring it up. He really is trying his best. If S/O kisses his back, he is a meeesssss.

~Couch nap? Couch nap. S/O laying their head on his chest while he gently runs his fingers through their hair while they drift off for a afternoon nap. Yes.

[hackeocafe]

Elon Musk’s Neuralink looking for volunteer to have piece of their skull cut open by robotic surgeon

Elon Musk’s chip implant company Neuralink is looking for its first volunteer who is willing to have a piece of their skull removed so that a robotic surgeon can insert thin wires and electrodes into their brain.

The ideal candidate will be a quadriplegic under the age of 40 who will also for a procedure that involves implanting a chip, which has 1,000 electrodes, into their brain, the company told Bloomberg News.

The interface would enable computer functions to be performed using only thoughts via a “think-and-click” mechanism.

After a surgeon removes a part of the a skull, a 7-foot-tall robot, dubbed “R1,” equipped with cameras, sensors and a needle will push 64 threads into the brain while doing its best to avoid blood vessels, Bloomberg reported.

Each thread, which is around 1/14th the diameter of a strand of human hair, is lined with 16 electrodes that are programmed to gather data about the brain.

The task is assigned to robots since human surgeons would likely not be able to weave the threads into the brain with the precision required to avoid damaging vital tissue.

Elon Musk’s brain chip company Neuralink is looking for human volunteers for experimental trials.AP

The electrodes are designed to record neural activity related to movement intention. These neural signals are then decoded by Neuralink computers.

R1 has already performed hundreds of experimental surgeries on pigs, sheep, and monkeys. Animal rights groups have been critical of Neuralink for alleged abuses.

“The last two years have been all about focus on building a human-ready product,” Neuralink co-founder DJ Seo told Bloomberg News.

“It’s time to help an actual human being.”

It is unclear if Neuralink plans to pay the volunteers.

The Post has sought comment from the company.

Those with paralysis due to cervical spinal cord injury or amyotrophic lateral sclerosis may qualify for the study, but the company did not reveal how many participants would be enrolled in the trial, which will take about six years to complete.

Musk’s company is seeking quadriplegics who are okay with their skull being opened so that a wireless brain-computer implant, which has 1,000 electrodes, could be lodged into their brain.REUTERS

Neuralink, which had earlier hoped to receive approval to implant its device in 10 patients, was negotiating a lower number of patients with the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) after the agency raised safety concerns, according to current and former employees.

It is not known how many patients the FDA ultimately approved.

“The short-term goal of the company is to build a generalized brain interface and restore autonomy to those with debilitating neurological conditions and unmet medical needs,” Seo, who also holds the title of vice president for engineering, told Bloomberg.

The brain chip device would be implanted underneath a human skull.

“Then, really, the long-term goal is to have this available for billions of people and unlock human potential and go beyond our biological capabilities.”

Musk has grand ambitions for Neuralink, saying it would facilitate speedy surgical insertions of its chip devices to treat conditions like obesity, autism, depression and schizophrenia.

The goal of the device is to enable a “think-and-click” mechanism allowing people to use computers through their thoughts.Getty Images/iStockphoto

In May, the company said it had received clearance from the FDA for its first-in-human clinical trial, when it was already under federal scrutiny for its handling of animal testing.

Even if the BCI device proves to be safe for human use, it would still potentially take more than a decade for the startup to secure commercial use clearance for it, according to experts.

Source: nypost.com

[lliwless]

tell me more about the sbi pokemon au? im interested if you planned out any teams or gave backstories for any of the people/their main partner pokemon

HELLO YES I'D LOVE TO!!! i'll put it under the cut because it's a LOT of rambling and i don't know how to make my thoughts concise LOL (seriously this is very long)

i originally made the AU when the DSMP was still at its height of popularity, i think right after hannah joined? the story was going to follow benchtrio going all around sinnoh, meeting EVERYONE from the dsmp who were living their silly little AU lives, and getting tangled in a bunch of Lore with the lake trio and creation trio, but a combination of burnout & lack of interest in a lot of the CCs after a while made me eventually downscale it to just being SBI-centric instead and cutting out a lot of characters. I still really like some of the ideas I came up with before dropping them though, regardless of how half-baked they are LOL.

in the original version, benchtrio were going to have the three starters - tommy with chimchar, ranboo with piplup and tubbo with turtwig. they'd eventually get other pokemon as the story progresses but I didn't really plan much before dropping the idea oTL

tommy was gonna catch a shinx who'd match his energy and eventually a buneary like in the comic (itd be a really cute story of enemies to "i would kill and die for you" bc i love buneary starting with 0 friendship in the game LOL), ranboo was gonna catch an abra bc "hes anxious just like me fr" and tubbo was gonna catch an onix. bc he would and i think the image of him looking innocent in front of a giant fuck-off snake creature of Rocks is funny as hell LOL

the story would follow all of them getting badges and working together to be the regional champion but along the way they'd realise they wanna do other stuff instead - mostly ranboo with pokemon contests and tubbo with breeding, aiding phil in research (he'd create a little garden/pokemon nature reserve around lake verity IT WAS GONNA BE CUTE!!!). i don't remember tommy LOL

here's art for ranboo doing pokemon contests (this is 2 years old im better at designing characters now i promise. i promise)

off the top of my head i also know that niki was gonna own a chain of bakeries with the main one she's usually at in eterna city, with food-themed pokemon from all types of regions gifted to her by wilbur (MORE ON HIM SOON). eterna city specifically because the bike mechanic guy would be jack fucking manifold the absolute legend AND THEYRE BEST FRIENDS IN THIS AU TOO!!!! jack would have electric & steel-type pokemon but his partner would be pachirisu who's basically co-owned by niki as well :3

SBI TIME philza was gonna be the professor and his partner is a specific murkrow called "chatterbox", shortened to "chat". no i don't care if it's too easy. he's seen as kinda quirky, kinda scary, because he's constantly followed by (and arguing with) flocks of murkrow wherever he goes - SPEAKING OF I DIDNT SHOW ART OF THEM. RAAAA

wilbur was phil's son and he honestly just wanted to fuck around and find out. his curiosity landed him a solid position at his father's side as a sort of apprentice as well as son, and while he contributed a lot of helpful work he also mostly just liked travelling around with his partner drifblim, almost becoming the charismatic face for sinnoh's research team instead of his more blunt, off-putting father. that's how he introduced niki to food-related pokemon :33 also he's evil and fucked up but i'll get back to that

TECHNOBLADE MY BELOVED!!!!! the regional champion, moved to sinnoh from unova when he was 18 after dropping out of college due to mental health reasons and wanted a complete fresh restart in a new region, trying to figure out what he wanted to do with his life. he started physically training in the wild with pokemon, living essentially as a hermit and travelling all around sinnoh, learning to live peacefully and control his anxiety while befriending pokemon on the way. he met phil by chance when camping in a forest and phil was like wow ur strong why dont u try becoming champion and techno was like ??????? and phil challenged him to a battle and techno understandably sweeped him and his team off their feet. and phil was like Yeah Holy Fuck You're Strong. go do the thing. go challenge ppl. and techno was like yea sure why not. he has not lost a single battle :) also he kept meeting up with phil after gaining his first couple of badges, gaining a reputation for being unbeatable, and got gifted a cleffa by phil when venting about his stress and anxiety and stuff. cleffa became techno's emotional support partner and it makes me so so happy :33

this post is already so long i havent even properly scratched the surface of the story and this is only the original version... i'm sorry i'm not a very good storyteller especially when it's so hard for me to keep track of my thoughts :') lmk if anyone's interested in any more ajhaghja

[werewolfetone]

Hiiii anon idk if you are still there and I know everyone is probably sick to death of me talking about this but I have more information for you now.

The so called "second Irish famine," usually referred to as "Bliain an Áir" ("the Year of Slaughter" in english), took place from december 1739 to about autumn 1741. No one is quite sure what caused the initial frost but basically in winter 1739 an EXTREMELY irregular frost hit Ireland which was so severe that the Boyne and Shannon completely froze over and water turned to ice indoors. At the time the potato crop would be stored in the field, i.e. farmers would harvest them and then just... leave them in the ground until they were needed for food &c, so that year's harvest was totally destroyed. A drought hit in spring 1740 soon after the frost ended, which had a disastrous effect on cattle and other livestock, and the oat + grain crops were also deeply affected by the irregular weather patterns, so even after the Lord Lieutenant banned the exportation of those products to anywhere but Britain there was still not enough food. Mass starvation and food riots began to set in.

The frost returned in winter 1740 and the famine deepened in spring 1741, this time accompanied by a variety of epidemics (typhus, dysentery, etc), with a lot of the same disturbing scenes of death more familiar from the Great Famine playing out in an incredibly rapid fashion. The one thing you didn't have was the mass emigration which happened during the Great Famine -- there WAS emigration, but it was like. just the normal amount and the only account I've come across of an 1840s style coffin ship was treated as exceptional news, so they likely weren't very common if they ever happened again outside of that one case. Large scale relief measures were now attempted. They were for the most part too little, too late, but they did help some people. Most famously (if u can call anything about this famous lmao), aristocrats hired peasants to build them Obelisks in a very Great Famine-like 'work for your charity so you are not idle™️©️®️' scheme, soup kitchens were set up, the Quakers helped people, etc. A few people in the Irish government (NOT the British government, the British completely ignored all of this save for the aforementioned export ban, as per usual) set up a food stamp type system where people were given tickets for one meal a day at certain poorhouses. Finally, the harvest of 1741 rolled around, plenty returned, and, while the peasantry was scarred permanently, everyone in power pretty much instantly and very fatally completely forgot that all of that had happened, at least until a mysterious fungus was discovered affecting the potato crop just over a century later, in 1845.

To look at the crisis overall Munster was probably the hardest hit area -- David Dickson in his book on the famine describes Cullen, Co. Tipperary in particular as "the Skibbereen of the famine" if there is to be one -- and Ulster was definitely the least hard hit due to a variety of factors including the intricacies of the linen industry and the fact that Ulster had experienced multiple mini famines in the early eighteenth century already and therefore its peasantry was not as caught off guard as nearly the entire rest of the country was. However it's important to remember that this famine was so long ago, so poorly documented, and so long ignored that very few records relating to it survive, and so many of the details about deaths &c are hazy. I will leave u with the fact that it's thought that 310,000 - 480,000 people, or 13 - 20% of the population of Ireland at the time, are thought to have died as a result of the famine over a little under 2 years. It's a devastatingly sad period of Irish history & I really think the best we can do is to remember it 👍

Sources under the cut

Dickson, David. Arctic Ireland. White Row Press, 1997.

Cullen, L. M. “The Irish Food Crises of the Early 1740s: The Economic Conjuncture.” Irish Economic and Social History, vol. 37, 2010, pp. 1–23. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24338619. Accessed 2 Mar. 2024.

KELLY, JAMES. “Coping with Crisis: The Response to the Famine of 1740-41.” Eighteenth-Century Ireland / Iris an Dá Chultúr, vol. 27, 2012, pp. 99–122. JSTOR, http://www.jstor.org/stable/24389559. Accessed 2 Mar. 2024.

Trevelyan, Charles E. The Irish Crisis. 1848. Accessed 29 February 2024.

Anonymous. The Groans of Ireland, in a Letter to a Member of Parliament. George Faulkner, 15 November 1741.

There were TWO famines in Ireland!?

Well I mean there have been more than 2, but in terms of "horrifying instance where the potato crop died and hundreds of thousands of people starved + also there was a plague of loosely defined 'famine fever' due to the conditions caused by it which also killed loads of people, pre-1900 but within the 2 centuries before that and also weirdly in the 4th decade of the century it happened in," as specific as that seems, yeah there's also this one

Although ☝️ please keep in mind that it was completely different from the great famine in that the initial problem was caused by a climate crisis rather than a parasite + due to that it wasn't JUST the potato crop that died (hence why such a high percentage of the population died) + things improved relatively quickly after it was over + didn't last as long + you apparently didn't get the mass migration that famously followed the famine of the 1840s. wish I could provide more information but I don't know very much about this yet so I can't atm

[verycivilofyou]

✨ element.

LINK.

✨ Air.

Air is the element of freedom, independence, and curiosity. Air is the most flexible, adaptable, and unpredictable of all the elements. Airy people are known for their quickness and freedom in thought, feeling, will, and movement. Just like physical air quickly moves around any obstacle in its path rather than resisting, so Air confronts its problems indirectly. When troubles come, Air is known for avoiding harmful situations, diffusing tensions, deflecting antagonism, using humor, wit, and occasionally using tricks or manipulation.

✨ TAGGED BY:  @softestmood​  /  t y !  <3 ✨ TAGGING:  @skymade  /  @fortissimvs  /  @brazenlass  /  @reflectingchaos  /  @wekeephimsane  /  @ohhfiddle  /  @canspotatimeagent  & anyone else who’d like to !

Regardless, Air is known as the most out-of-the-box thinker of all the elements. It always sees things from a different perspective and is adept at approaching and solving problems from an unusual point of view. Air can be light and playful as a spring breeze, clear and confident as the noon-day sky, as swift and daring as the jet stream, as kind as the warm summer rain, or as fierce and destructive as a hurricane. Air is, of course, the element that carries voices, music, and communication in general, so it is known for communication skills and a love of the arts. It is the element that most frequently mingles with the others, such as lightning (Air/Fire), sandstorms (Air/Earth), or rain and hail storms (Air/Water). So Air is the most sociable, the most outgoing, the most cosmopolitan, and the best at people skills in general. Air is highly skilled at compartmentalizing: treating things it doesn’t like or doesn’t care about as if they weren’t real. This can make Air aloof and detached from reality at times. Paradoxically, Air is either the most popular of all the elements or else an eccentric and a non-comformist. This reflects their kindness and sociability, but also their strong independent streak. Air is also known for its cheerful attitude, social skills, sense of fair play, confidence, fierce sense of justice, resilience, spontaneity, curiosity, sense of humor, and enthusiasm for everything life has to offer. It’s greatest strength and weakness is its lightness and changeability. It can adapt to anything, and foresee and avoid problems before they arrive; but immature Air can also be impatient, restless, impulsive, fickle, easily bored, frivolous, flippant, unreliable, or lecherous.

INTELLECTUALLY:  Air is curious. Air always asks “how.” Air loves to learn about anything and everything it sees. There is often no discernible rhyme or reason to the subjects that attract Air’s interest. If there is a pattern, it’s that Air loves to learn anything that is new. Old things are boring to Air, so it is always seeking something new to see, something new to learn, someone new to talk with, something new to do, or somewhere new to go. Air is very aware of its surroundings and rarely misses any detail. Air’s mind lacks the rules and structure that characterize other elements. As such, Air tends to come up with very unique and inventive ideas that seemingly come out of nowhere. This can make Air seem random, chaotic, and eccentric, but there is a method to its madness – even if only the Airy person him/herself knows what that method is. Air is also exceptionally good at multi-tasking. The drawback to Air’s mentality is a tendency to be easily distracted, bored, forgetful, or side-tracked. However, no element is more intelligent than any other. It is merely a different pattern of thinking.

EMOTIONALLY:  Air is very expressive and extroverted. Air experiences all the wide range of emotion and expresses it freely. It doesn’t take much to get an emotional reaction out of air, but it is also easy for Air’s feelings to change from one moment to the next. As such, Air is arguably the most emotional of all the elements. Their negative emotional tendency is towards fear since Air instinctively avoids conflict and hates confronting anything head on.

[heloisedaphnebrightmore]

Possibilities [Tom Hiddleston x Reader]

Title: Possibilities Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Female!Reader Word count: 3k Published: 6 July 2021 Author: Heloise Daphne Brightmore Warnings: Mention of food and alcohol Summary: Tom and you have been friends for a long time and because of that same reason you value your friendship more than to ruin it with some silly feelings. But the event you attend together offers you some surprises that might change your relationship forever.

Tom Hiddleston and Characters Masterlist | Masterlists

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Events, galas, award ceremonies. You weren't a popular actress nor a famous singer, or social media influencer. You had a simple 9-5 job that would hardly ever get you into these events. But regardless of your status in society, you were known and not because of any talent you possessed that could have made you famous, but because your best friend was none-other than Tom Hiddleston.

You have been friends for years, you adored everything about the man. He was sweet and kind, always polite, but just as playful. It was a friendship you felt lucky to be in, a friendship that you held so close to your heart, it would have broken every little piece of you if it ever ended. Often, you found yourself staring at him with a little smile in the corner of your lips, watching his every move, the way he joked around with his co-stars on set, the way he exercised in the gym for a role, the way he winked at you with a mischievous smile as he caught your eyes on him.

"Do you need my autograph?" he asked with a wide grin as he opened the door of the luxurious car he booked for the event. Once again you have forgotten your eyes on him— his dashing looks, the perfectly fitted suit, the playful twinkle in his eyes. He never stopped teasing you about it.

"Shove off, Tom," you nudged him as he got out of the car and held out a hand for you, waiting for you to accept his help. So, you did. Wrapping your fingers around his hand, you let him help you out of the vehicle as you rearranged your stunning dress and ran your hand down its length to remove any creasing. Cameras were flashing, reporters' loud voices filled the pathway to the entrance, a long red carpet leading your way inside the building towering over you like a modern castle.

"If I didn't know better, I would think your interest in me goes beyond friendship," he chuckled as he held his arm out to you, waiting for yours to be placed over his, his eyes following every little movement of yours. A sudden rush of heat travelled up to your cheeks, your breathing slightly laboured as you tried to calm your heavily beating heart. He was not wrong after all. It's been years since you have been harbouring these feelings, but you hadn't had the heart to confess them. Tom was more important to you than to ruin it over some silly feelings.

Sometimes, when you caught Tom's eyes on you, watching you intently, a soft smile spread across his face, it made you think if maybe, just maybe he was harbouring similar feelings towards you. But the idea was quickly swept away by your doubts, the thought of such an amazing man falling for you seeming impossible. You knew your worth, you didn't write yourself down, but Tom has always been perfect in your eyes, and you couldn't imagine him wanting you even if at times a certain silly part of your brain whispered otherwise.

"I love your healthy self-confidence," you finally gathered your ability to be able to reply, earning a comical huff from him. You have been trying hard, to deny your romantic interest in him, but rumours about the two of you have become a reoccurring news and it didn't help your case to shove your feelings in the back of your mind.

"Ready?" He asked as his gaze turned towards the red carpet. Heaving a heavy sigh, you nodded and murmured a 'yes' as a response.

As soon as the cameras started flashing, hundreds of photos of Tom and you being taken, you conjured a sweet little smile that the tabloids loved. You were always nervous when it came to these events. It was Tom's job to answer some of the questions journalists asked of him, which meant they were to ask about your relationship. It was becoming repetitive, making you feel uncomfortable. The questions themselves didn't bother you but repeating over and over again that the man you have fallen for is merely a friend, felt like a stab in your heart, each time you responded.

"Tom! Tom!" One of the reporters shouted his name and he led you to the side of the red carpet, halting right beside the metal cordons. Questions were flying around, photos had been taken, but you didn't concentrate. Your senses were heightened as Tom pulled you in his side, his arm now wrapped around your waist, gently, but firmly holding onto you. Looking up at him, you studied his face, his ice-blue eyes focusing on the reporter, an excited smile across his face. He seemed so relaxed, so collected, meanwhile even events after events you were still nervous. As though he could feel it, he turned to you with a soft, reassuring smile, giving you a nod, silently asking if you were alright. For others, the movement could have easily been missed, but to you, it was like an earthquake, shaking your heart, making you fall even deeper for him. In a reply, you nodded and offered him a smile as you squeezed his hand that rested on your waist.

"So, Tom, this might be a bit more personal, but everyone has been talking about the two of you," he started, and your eyes immediately darted towards the man. You knew the question, heard it a thousand times already, so you prepared your heart to give the same reply as always. 'We are just friends,' you repeated time after time, hoping they would finally understand and let you be, but they didn't seem to budge. "You have been friends for a long time, and your fans have been talking about how close the two of you have become. Do you think, maybe in the future, there's a possibility for romance to blossom?" He asked with an expectant expression, a sly smile in the corner of his lips.

"As we have said before," you spoke up, ready to reply as you always did, "we—"

"You never know what the future holds for you, there are many possibilities" Tom cut in with a mischievous smile, your eyes growing wide as you looked up at him. Tom chuckled at your expression as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. "Tell me I'm wrong," he arched a brow questioningly, his words starting your heart off at a faster pace, your cheeks feeling warmer under his intent gaze, those blue eyes you often found yourself lost in.

"Well—, I mean I can't argue with that statement," you replied, feeling slightly awkward. A confused smile started growing wider on your face as Tom led you away. "Why did you do that?" You asked as you finally stepped inside the building, his arm still resting around your waist as you headed towards a large room filled with all sorts of foods and drinks, people dancing in the middle, the dim lightning offering a rather intimate mood. "You just created even more gossip," you scolded him, but seemingly he didn't mind. He led you to a table where his name was printed on a nametag and pulled the chair out for you before he took his seat beside you.

"I didn't say anything," he smiled at you as innocently as he could manage, the corner of his eyes crinkling.

"You did. Exactly because you were so secretive, people will want to read between the lines. They will think there's more to us than friendship," you huffed as you hid your face in your palm and heaved a heavy sigh.

"And is that so bad?" He frowned, earning the same expression from you.

"What?" A silent scoff left your lungs. "What are you trying to say?"

"Is that such a big problem if people think we are together?" He asked, his confident tone stunning you.

"Of course, not. I don't care what rumours are being spread about me, but I don't want them to gossip about you," you reached for his hand on the table and wrapped your fingers around it, giving it a gentle squeeze. His expression stayed emotionless; you couldn't read him entirely, but you knew he seemed off.

"I will go grab us a drink," he said as he stood up, leaving you frowning. You weren't sure what you said that made him upset, and regardless of trying to put on a straight face, you knew he wasn't happy with your response.

You watched as he walked over to a small table filled with the most delicious looking cakes and a couple of bottles of champagne, ready for the guests before they brought out the main course. Tom grabbed a battle of champagne and two glasses, filling up both halfway, before he placed the battle back into an ice bucket.

"What is it?" You asked as he returned and gave you one of the glasses.

"What do you mean?" He asked, taking a seat beside you.

"We've known each other for quite a long time. I can read you like an open book. What's bothering you?" Trying to get him to open up, you shuffled closer to him, your chair scraping the floor, turning heads in your direction. "Oops," you scratched the back of your neck awkwardly, earning a chuckle from Tom.

"Very subtle," he mocked you.

"Don't change the subject Mr. Hiddleston," you raised a questioning brow, a tiny smile hidden in the corner of your lips.

"Nothing is bothering me," he added, but your suspicious gaze didn't falter. "I'm being honest, darling," the sly little fox knew his nickname for you would make you soften up and he used every opportunity to say it when he felt cornered.

"Fine," you squinted. "But we aren't done! I'm not blind, I can see something is on your mind."

"Yes, ma'am, I can't wait for this conversation to come back around," he mocked you once again, making you huff as you gently punched his shoulder.

Throughout the night, said conversation was forgotten, the alcohol consumption rose, the amount of people dancing around the room grew, meanwhile others sat at their tables, trying to digest the previously served delicious meals. You couldn't deny that you had a good laugh with Tom and his co-stars from all sorts of movies he had been in. It felt like a little family, people coming together to just have a joyous time.

The way Tom smiled at his friends, praising each other, before turning to mock one another forced your eyes to rest on his excited features. He looked so alive, so happy and the feeling of the man you loved being in his element meant everything to you. Tom was radiating enthusiasm and you couldn't look away as you watched his ever-growing smile, his nose scrunched up at an unexpected subject, his head falling back as a loud laughter erupted from his lungs. He was always handsome, but when he was happy, it filled you up with a certain warmth that you couldn't explain. Like you always wanted to make him happy just to be able to see that cheerful smile spread across his face.

He turned to you, catching your gaze on him once again. His arm sneaked behind you, pulling you closer and leaning down to your ear. "You are staring at me again," you couldn't see it, but you could feel his smile spreading wider.

"I like to see you happy," you shrugged with a soft smile as you leaned back to be able to meet his gaze. His smile faltered, but his eyes softened.

"Dance with me," he said as he offered his palm to you, and you placed your hand in it.

"I take no responsibility for broken toes," you said with a silent chuckle as you followed him to the dancefloor.

"Don't worry, darling, it's worth the injury," he mirrored your expression as you stopped in the middle of the dance floor. A slow, romantic song started playing in the background, his arms finding their perfect position around your waist as yours sneaked around his neck.

It was a slow and peaceful dance, not requiring much knowledge and talent. You just enjoyed each other's presence, gazes meeting, smiles forming, swaying to the slow rhythm of the music. You didn't speak a word, but the silence wasn't uncomfortable. It never was with Tom. A soft smile, a quick glance, a simple gesture meant more than thousands of words when you were with him.

You laid your head against his chest, listening to his fast heartbeat, taking on a quicker pace just like yours did. "I miss you when you are not with me," he spoke for the first time as he leaned down and kissed the top of your head. You didn't move away; his embrace was too comfortable, and you couldn't care about people watching you.

"I always miss you. You are the one travelling all the time after all," you chuckled lightly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

"I could be only a mile away and I would still miss you," he replied as you pulled back a bit to meet his soft gaze, but there was no smile present across his handsome face. As the song finished, you found yourself standing in front of him, slightly confused about the conversation. "Do you want to go to the balcony? Have some fresh air?" He asked, taking on a more cheerful expression, but you knew him more than to believe it was genuine. In a response you nodded and linked your arm with his.

Following him through the sea of people, you finally arrived at the balcony, looking down to a smaller version of a park, a water fountain standing tall in its centre. You leaned against the rail as you watched the trees battling the silent wind, fallen leaves being blown across the walking path. Tom joined beside you, his eyes following the same direction as you did before they halted on your face. "You are being strange tonight," you spoke up, feeling his gaze resting on you before you turned to him, meeting his eyes.

"I'm just thinking," he added with a half-hearted smile.

"About?" You asked as you reached for his hand resting on the rail and placed yours on top of his. He turned his palm upside down and lifted your hand, hinting a small kiss on your knuckles as he heaved a heavy sigh. "Tom talk to me," you squeezed his fingers reassuringly, his eyes watching you, not leaving your gaze for a moment. "You have been rather quiet around me," you added.

His whole body turned to you, as though he was focusing his complete attention on you. Reaching towards you, he brushed your hair to the side, gently tucking it behind your ear. You leaned into the touch involuntarily, only realising your actions when he caressed your cheek with his thumb, before moving down and running it across your lips. The feeling burnt you, starting your mind off in a very dangerous territory, one that you have been avoiding. 'He is your friend' you tried to remind yourself. But once the tip of his thumb brushed along your lips once again, you couldn't stop yourself. Stepping forward, you placed your hands on his chest, steading yourself and rose on your tiptoes, pressing your lips against his.

Your own bravery surprised you, but Tom didn't seem affected. As soon as your lips met, his arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer. He didn't hesitate, he wasn't surprised. He just held you, gently running his lips along yours, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. But as much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, realisation hit you. You were kissing your best friend. You gently pushed him away, stumbling back from the force, covering your mouth with your palm. "I'm so sorry," you breathed, panic rising in your chest. "I have no idea what happened, I don't know why I did that, I'm so sorry," your words were rushed, your heartbeat loudly pulsing in your ears.

But Tom's gaze twinkled. A soft, warm smile grew wider across his face as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around you. "I'm not," he said as he pressed his forehead against yours. "I've been wanting to kiss you," he breathed as he closed his eyes momentarily, slightly shaking his head. "I've been wanting to tell you how much I love you; I've been trying to gain the courage to say it out loud," he scoffed. "I'm a fool for dragging it out for so long, but I love you," his voice shook as he said the words, but his arms tightened around you, safely holding you against his chest. It took you a second to understand what he meant, that your feelings weren't unrequited, that he has been harbouring the same feelings you have.

A heavy sigh left your lungs, as though a weight fell off your chest. Your lips curved into a smile as you placed your hands on his cheeks, running the tip of your thumbs across his jawline. He mirrored your expression whilst leaning into your touch, planting a small kiss on your palm. "I love you too," you replied finally," the words rolling off the tip of your tongue easier than you expected. "I love you so much," you giggled, wanting to repeat the words over and over again, until you finally understood that it was real, that you weren't dreaming. "You never know what the future holds for you, huh?" You asked, repeating his words from earlier in the evening, earning a loud chuckle from him. "So, is this one of those many possibilities?" you raised a single brow.

"Could be. I have a couple more ideas," he said, his soft smile turning into a confident grin.

"You are terrible," you gently hit his chest as you grabbed his suit-jacket and pulled him down to you, meeting his lips halfway, smiling into the intimate moment you have been craving for so long.

Notes: If you enjoyed reading this little piece, please don’t forget to leave a like, comment and/or reblog. Your opinion matters and gives us motivation. Thank you ^^

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[raewritesthingss]

Belong to Me

Rating: Mature

Word count: 2269

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Mando knew that he had fucked up. You were always so talkative and loud as you moved about the Crest. But not today. No. Today you were silent. There was little noise and it made him uneasy. Before you’d started working with him, he enjoyed the silence and in the first few weeks of having you aboard, he missed it. That wasn’t the case now. He’d grown used to your rambling and how you’d speak in a little baby voice to Grogu. He liked how you’d narrate whatever you were doing throughout the day, even when you were by yourself. The sound of your voice brought him comfort. A sense of normalcy for the first time in a long time. It seemed like there was little that could upset you. You went with the flow of life and found the bright side of it all. At least that’s what Mando thought.

It was like any other day. You loaded up your pack with snacks and a few small toys for the baby and headed out with Mando and the Child to see what quarries were available for him. The three of you made your way towards the Cantina where Karga was waiting, there were a few patrons waiting around that quickly moved out of the way the moment they noticed a Mandalorian coming their way. That was the nice thing about traveling with Mando, no one bothered you.

You made yourself comfortable, ordering a drink for yourself and some food for Grogu. You let Mando handle business on his own usually, it was never your scene. You enjoyed taking care of the Crest and the baby, but nothing that involved the violence of your boss’s work. You set the small, metal ball in front of the baby to play with while you both waited for his food to arrive. He was content with making it float in front of his face and gave you his signature toothy grin as he did. It made you happy to see him this way. No fear, just the happiness of an innocent child. A small bowl of bone broth and a drink was placed down in front of you. You carefully switched out the toy for the food and sipped on your drink as you watched the Child gulp down his food, dripping it onto his little clothes that you’d have to wash later. It didn’t matter, he was happy. When another glass was placed in front of you, you glanced up at the bartender.

“Oh? I didn’t order this one,” you muttered and slid it back. The bartender nodded towards a booth near the back where a man was sitting sipping on his own drink. The man smiled at you but there was no kindness behind it. It was the kind of smile a predator gives its prey before it attacks. You returned his smile with one of your own, though less enthusiastic.

“No, thank you. I’m fine with just this.” you responded kindly, raising your own drink. The bartender nodded and picked the glass up before making his way back to the front of the catina. Mando’s helmet turned towards you and watched you carefully but he said nothing. You could see his hand gripping the edge of the table harder than usual.

The child let out a small cough that brought you out of your thoughts and you turned to him to wipe the broth that was dribbling off his chin and onto his clothes. You smiled at him as he tried turning his face away from the cloth. Karga was late again as per usual. He never was one to care much for arriving on time, a fact that continuously pissed Mando off. Mando had one way of doing this: his way and Karga seemed to enjoy getting in the way of that constantly. You on the other hand didn’t mind. It wasn’t often that you were able to leave the Crest and sit down for a meal. It made your life feel a bit more normal, especially given what your job was. Running around the galaxy so your boss could chase down bounties while you watched his son that had tons of people wanting him dead wasn’t exactly the way you envisioned your life. This was nice though. It made you feel like the three of you were a family. Almost.

“He’s late.” Mando’s gruff voice spoke. You could tell he was on edge. You’d learned quickly how to tell what kind of mood he was in despite how seldom he said anything.

“I’m sure he’ll be here soon. Besides, look how happy he is,” you gestured towards the Child who was now playing with the small spoon that came with his meal. Mando let out a breath that could’ve been interpreted as a laugh. His posture relaxed slightly but only for a few moments before you saw him stiffen up, his gaze set behind you. You turned in your chair only to come face to face with the man who’d bought you the drink. His eyes stayed on you, completely ignoring the man covered head to toe in beskar that could easily snap his neck and be gone before anyone noticed.

“You rejected me”, the man said, an air of superiority laced in his voice. Great. A grade A asshole.

“Well, you see I already have one of my own. And while I appreciate the gesture, I’m not interested. “ Your voice was firm but still polite. You’d always prided yourself in remaining calm and collected, even in uncomfortable situations.

The man chuckled and leaned down, throwing an arm over the back of your chair. You could smell his breath and it reeked of alcohol and cheap death sticks, “Why? Cause of this guy? Darlin’ you can’t even see his face. Bet he doesn’t even have a dick under all that shit. He can’t give you what you need, a woman like you needs a real man with a nice, big co-”, he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before Mando had his hand wrapped around his throat and his back shoved into the nearest wall. You could hear the man gasping for air as Mando’s grip tightened. The Child giggled as he watched, thinking it was some sort of game.

“Mando!”, you shouted. His helmet whipped around to look at you, “Enough.”, you stood up quickly, throwing down more credits than necessary and picked up the baby before making your way out of the cantina. You didn’t bother to see if Mando was following you. You didn’t care at that point. You’d told Mando before to stop fighting your own battles for you. You grew up taking care of yourself, never having anyone to look after you. It wasn’t the first time a man had invaded your personal space and attempted to make you uncomfortable and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. You didn’t need saving.

By the time you made it back to the Crest, most of your anger had faded and turned into sadness. Did Mando not think you were capable of handling yourself? Did he think you were weak? You placed the baby in the crib and shut it, making sure he was asleep before sitting down on one of the crates. The sound of metal clanging against metal alerted you, letting you know that he was back. He walked up the ramp, stopping just inside to shut it before turning his body towards yours. You stared at each other for a few long moments until you got up and made your way up to the cockpit without a word to set the coordinates for the next stop. It wasn’t long before he came up behind you and sat in the pilot’s chair. Mando never started conversations, you were always the one to initiate things but today wasn’t going to be like that. You had nothing to say to him. The silence went on for two hours before he finally broke.

“You’re upset.” his voice faltered for a moment.

You snorted and crossed your arms and turned your chair towards him, “Well I guess nothing gets past you then, huh?”. His hands tightened around the controls and he let out a sigh.

“I was only trying to-”

“No”, you cut him off quickly, “You don’t think I can do anything myself. You think I’m some weak, little girl that needs your protection but I’m not. I’m not the kid Mando, I’m a grown woman.”

Within seconds he’d switched on the autopilot and had you yanked up from your chair and backed into the wall, much like the man from earlier. His hands rested on either side of your face while his face was only inches from yours.

“Trust me, I know you’re no little girl,” his voice was low and rough and heat shot straight through you at the sound of it. You wondered what it would sound like if he was saying other things.

“I didn’t need you to do that back in the cantina, I can handle myself,” your voice came out soft and weak, nowhere near the level of confidence you were trying to give off. His helmet tilted to the side as his left hand came up to rest up your cheek. He slowly rubbed his thumb across your face. The gentleness of it all shocked you. This was a man who had killed hundreds with the same hands he used to touch you so softly now. You sucked in a breath and let your eyes shut, not wanting this moment to end ever.

“I know you can. Doesn’t mean I’m ok with someone touching what belongs to me and you belong to me”

“I don’t belong to anyone”, you both knew you were lying.

He let out a laugh and moved his hands down to the waistband of your pants, “We’ll see”. You didn’t have time to respond before he’d yanked your pants down, bringing your underwear with them. Your hands moved up to his chest but he grabbed both your wrists in one hand and held them tightly while using his other to work on his belt. He tossed it to the side and then pulled his pants down just enough to let his cock out. You gasped when you finally saw it. He was bigger than any man you’d ever seen. It terrified you but you wanted it so bad. He let go of your wrists and moved your hand down to wrap around him, moving your hand up and down slowly. The groan he let out was sinful and you could feel yourself growing wetter by the second. His free hand moved between your legs and he pushed two thick fingers inside you. Your eyes rolled back instantly as you whimpered.

“You get this wet for someone you don’t belong to?” he asked, pumping his fingers in and out of you at an agonizingly slow pace. Your mouth opened to respond but nothing came out as he pressed his thumb against your clit, rubbing quick circles, “You don’t have anything to say? That’s a first.” his voice was somehow deeper, his breathing becoming more labored with each passing second.

He pulled his fingers out slowly, causing you to let out a whine. You moved your own hand down but he slapped it away and positioned himself at your entrance. His hand moved to your chin, tilting your head up to look at him. He said nothing but you knew he was asking for your permission. He had to know that you wanted this. That you needed this as much as he did. You nodded and almost missed the small sigh of relief he let out. The feeling of him pushing into you was indescribable. The stretch was both painful and full of pleasure. You don’t know how you’d gone this long without it.

“Fucking tight,” he grunted and pulled back again only to slam into you seconds later. The pace he set was brutal. You could barely keep up. Your entire brain went to mush in that moment. The noises coming out of you would have embarrassed you in any other situation if it weren’t for the fact that you couldn’t think straight enough to care. Or the fact that Mando was encouraging you. You couldn’t register much of what he said but you were able to catch a few small phrases.

“Good girl.”

“That’s it baby, just like that.”

“Sound so pretty”

“Mine.”

You could feel yourself getting close to your climax and you knew he was close to his. His thrusts were becoming sloppier. His helmet rested on your shoulder. His hand moved down to play with your clit and your legs began to shake. You were so close. His pace quickened, hitting you right where you needed it most and you felt your orgasm take over your whole body. Black spots danced around in your vision. You felt something warm seep inside of you and barely registered the sound of Mando moaning and grunting against you.

You lifted your head after what felt like hours to find that you’d put all of your weight on him. He held you up without any effort though.

“I am yours. But that means that you’re mine,” you said softly.

He reached a hand up to brush a stray piece of hair out of your face, “I’ve been yours from the moment you set foot on this ship sweet girl,” he whispered before pulling you into his chest and wrapped his arms around you tightly.

[fics-n-stuff]

Home - Pt 2

For @glowstick-lesbian, request here

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Reader

Summary: After Y/N finally gets out hiding, it's time to sit down with Kaz and talk through whatever it is that's going on between them.

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: Brief talk of Jordie and Kaz's trauma and touch aversion

A/N: Wow this ended up being longer than I intended! I'm so sorry it's taken so long, I was focused on The Bastard's Shadow and Affluenza pts1 + 2, and then I started picking up more shifts at work and got writers block at the same time. I really hope you like how it turned out!! ❤❤

Pt1 here

After the very enlightening visit from Kaz, the days seemed to drag on even slower than before. The next two months went by in a crawl, and no matter how much you buried yourself in work you couldn’t distract from the longing you felt to get out of your apartment.

When your messenger came to deliver the news that your pursuers were willing to come to a truce you had been so happy that you’d gone straight to pour yourself a glass of whisky to celebrate. From then, you counted down the days until the meeting that you set up, the result of which should mean that you were free to roam the city again.

Inej had shown you how to get out of the window and onto the roof months ago. It was your escape route in case of an emergency, but you had used it every now and then just to sit on the roof and enjoy a taste of the outside world. That night, you had climbed out with intention and dressed in your finest coat.

You travelled over the rooftops towards the Government district, where your meeting had been arranged to take place near the Stadhall. The presence of the stadwatch would serve to protect you in case the deal went south.

You had been jittery with a mix of anxiety and excitement when you descended to street level and wended your way through the streets to find three men waiting for you at the Stadhall, all of them tall, broad and commanding. Barrel businessmen that you had crossed one too many times, and no doubt they had been angered that forcing you into hiding hadn’t put a stop to your business.

You were too smart to have not found a way around it; you had to be to run the business that you did. You owned three boarding houses and two bars in the Barrel and two ships that brought in imports from Ravka and Novyi Zem, a squaller as a permanent fixture on the crew of each to whom you paid a fair salary. You’d had Kaz put them under the protection of the Dregs to keep them safe from slavers. On top of all of that, you used your contacts in Ravka, Novyi Zem and other parts of Kerch to help get kids out of the Barrel and into honest work elsewhere. You might operate from the criminal underbelly of Ketterdam, but you made a mostly honest living.

The meeting took longer than you had anticipated. The three men were eager to negotiate territories that you couldn’t conduct business in and items that they didn’t want you to import because it was cutting into their own business. You held firm, you knew what was fair and you would be damned if you let anyone bully you into submission.

In the end, you essentially just agreed not to get in their way, which was easy enough to do. You wouldn’t actively compete with them in the sale of imported goods, and you wouldn’t try to convince any of the lads that they used as runners and grunts to get out of the Barrel. As long as you kept your distance from them you’d be fine, since they were clearly tired of chasing after you.

“Alright then, the deal is the deal.” You said, holding out your hand. All three shook hands with you in turn, echoing the phrase as was customary. When the man in the middle – clearly the leader and the last to shake with you – took your hand, you tightened your grip and leaned forward. “If you try to cheat me after this deal, you will have Dirtyhands to answer to.” You said lowly. He tried not to show his reaction but the fear in his eyes betrayed him, and you released his hand. It wasn’t often that you involved Kaz and his reputation in your affairs, but sometimes it paid to be friends with the most ruthless man in Ketterdam.

You left the meeting with your head held high and took a gondel back to the Barrel. You were approached by a few people who stayed in one of your boarding houses or drank in one of your bars on your walk to the Crow Club, telling you that they had been curious or worried about having not seen you around for so long. You didn’t engage in any conversation beyond polite acknowledgment, too eager to get to the Crow Club.

Inej was the only one that knew that you were getting out tonight. You had told her when she had come to deliver your food for the week and she had promised to try and keep everyone corralled at the Crow Club so that you could make a big entrance, but the later it got the less likely it was that she could keep them all there without raising suspicion.

You practically ran down the last street towards the Crow Club, bursting through the open door and searching the crowd for your friends. Jesper caught sight of you at the same moment that you spotted them all at the bar, and you saw his jaw drop in shock. A huge grin spread on your face as he set his drink down, his sudden change in demeanor getting the attention of the rest of the group and causing them to turn to follow his gaze.

“Y/N?” Jesper called, prompting you into as much of a sprint as you could manage across the crowded floor of the gambling hall. You vaulted yourself into him, wrapping your arms tightly around his lanky frame. “You’re back! How?” He exclaimed, and you laughed as you felt him hug you back and sweep you off of your feet.

“I had a meeting to call a truce. As of tonight I am a free person!”

“We missed you so much!” Nina grinned, prying Jesper’s arms off of you so that she could pull into a hug herself. “Why didn’t you tell us that you were finally coming out of hiding?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise.” You grinned, pulling away so that you could move to hug Wylan next. “I missed you guys so much too, you have no idea.” You caught sight of Kaz over Wylan’s shoulder, his eyes wide as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. You pointed your smile at him and his lips twitched upwards before he cooled his expression and gave you a simple nod.

Your reunion was spirited to say the least, even Matthias couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were back. You made them tell you about all of the most significant things that you had missed in the year that you had been trapped inside and update you on any power shifts between the Barrel gangs. Jesper wouldn’t shut up, Wylan was excited to tell you about all of the new explosives and weapons that he had developed, and Nina was making a list of places that she wanted to get lunch together to make up for lost time. It felt amazing to be with them all again.

“Okay! I want to play a few hands of Three Man Bramble before I go.” You announced, pushing your glass away from you after downing the last of its contents.

“Don’t have to ask me twice.” Jesper grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulder and guiding you to a table.

It seemed apt that fortune seemed to be in your favour, winning so consistently that you continued to play even though you knew that you shouldn’t. It felt like every time that you looked up from the table you caught Kaz watching you, and his unashamed gaze made your heart flutter.

After a while you saw him give a slight nod towards the door, an action that meant that it was time to go, and you tucked you lip between you teeth as you gave a subtle nod back and turned your attention back to your cards.

“Unbelievable!” Jesper exclaimed upon seeing that you had won again. “I guess you’re catching up on a year’s worth of luck.”

“Perhaps, but I’m going to quit while I’m ahead.” You smiled, gathering up your winnings. “I need to go and breathe some more fresh air.” You pocketed half of your winnings and pushed the other half around the table to Jesper. “Not too much fun.”

“There’s no such thing as too much fun.” He beamed and pulled you to him so that he could plant a kiss on your cheek. “Good to have you back, Y/N.”

“Good to be back, Jes.” You winked before bounding back to the bar to say goodbye to the rest of your friends. Kaz had already disappeared, no doubt in an attempt to avoid drawing attention to the fact that you were leaving together.

“We’re going to get waffles tomorrow. I will break your door down if I have to.” Nina asserted, practically crushing your ribs in a hug. “Inej, you’re coming too.”

“What about me?” Wylan pouted, and you laughed.

“Everyone’s invited.” You replied, holding his face and turning it towards you so that you could press a soft kiss on his forehead before pulling him in for a hug. “I just got out, I want to spend time with you all!”

You kept your hug with Inej pretty short, considerate of the bad feelings that too much contact could stir up in her, and even managed to coax a hug from Matthias before you headed out. Kaz was waiting not far from the entrance and you smiled as you quickly made your way towards him

“Hey.” You chirped.

“You wanted it to be a surprise, huh?” He questioned, starting towards the Slat. You chuckled.

“I know you’re not a big fan of surprises, Kaz, but I thought this might be a fun one. Why? Were you offended that I told Inej and not you?”

“Did you have anyone go with you to your meeting?”

“No, I didn’t need any backup.”

“Things could have gone badly, and you didn’t tell anyone about it.”

“Well things didn’t go badly.” You rebutted. “I’m here, I’m fine, and I surprised you all.”

“You shouldn’t put yourself in danger like that.” Kaz said flatly, ignoring your point, and you groaned loudly at his stubbornness.

“If it makes you feel better, I made sure to drop your name in to intimidate them. But I can handle my own business.”

You hopped along the cobblestones playfully, irrationally happy to be back out on the filthy and foul smelling streets of the Barrel, but even the stink couldn’t dampen your joy at finally being free. You were sure that you and Kaz probably looked like a bizarre pair walking together now, him with his stoic exterior and identifying limp next to your childlike joy, though you had taken after him fashion wise with your smart attire and well-fitted, black coat.

Walking back to the Slat with Kaz took you in the opposite direction to your home – now that you were out of hiding you could finally return to where you actually lived in a house on the boundary of East Stave and the Zelver District – but you wanted to talk to Kaz, and he wouldn’t have asked you to leave with him if he didn’t want to talk to you too. Nevertheless, you continued the rest of the walk in silence.

When you got to the Slat, Kaz continued straight up to his room while you lingered on the ground floor to say hello to some of the Dregs that you were more friendly with. The noise of the Slat was unfamiliar to you after so long, but you had kind of missed the rowdiness of it.

You followed upstairs shortly after. Kaz had left his door ajar for you and you could see him sat at his desk through the opening.

“Shut the door behind you.” He said as you slipped inside, and you heard the door click as you push it shut after yourself.

“You wanna talk to me?” You questioned, walking over to lean on the side of the desk casually. “Or did you just want some time to look at my gorgeous face?” He did look up at you then, his eyes darting around to take in the entirety of your face, and you felt your heart flutter.

“How did your meeting go? What deals did you make?” He asked. You sighed. It wasn’t new that Kaz was asking about your business, he liked to know about what you were doing the same way that he liked to know about literally everything else, but you had hoped that this conversation would be a little less mundane than that. You had hoped that he might express an iota of joy that you were back.

“I can’t dock my ships in 3rd Harbour anymore.” You shrugged. “So I’ll stick to 2nd for imports going into the morning market, mostly 5th for everything else. There’s a few streets that I need to keep my business off of, and obviously I can’t try and undermine their operations anymore. That doesn’t mean that I won’t, it just means that I’ll be smarter about not getting caught.”

“And what do you get from them?”

“They leave me alone. I don’t need more than that. I mean, their terms are hardly going to impede my business anyway.”

“And your insurance?”

“You.” You smiled sweetly. “Very few people are bold enough to cross someone that has Kaz Brekker on side.”

“I thought you prided yourself on running an honest business.”

“I do. My association with you doesn’t make my business any less legit. I’m more honest than most of the Merchant Council anyway.”

“That’s fair.” He conceded with a slight nod.

Kaz had visited you a few times since the night that you had both let on about how much you cared about each other, but you hadn’t talked about it. It felt like the tension between you had been building and building like an elastic band ready to snap. It was driving you crazy.

“Anything else that you want to talk about?” You hinted. Kaz let out a long breath, his eyes sliding away from you for a moment. You could tell that he wanted to talk about it but he was struggling to get it out. “Because you haven’t told me that you’re glad I’m back yet.”

“I am glad that you’re back.” He affirmed, then he took a hard swallow. “We all missed you.” You smiled brightly at that.

You could hear the crows moving around on the half-roof outside of Kaz’s window and crossed the room to perch on the windowsill. There hadn’t been anywhere for the birds to land in the apartment that you had been cooped up in.

“Can I stay here for a while? I don’t want to be alone again just yet.” You said softly, tucking one knee up against your chest as you watched the birds through the glass.

“Sure.” Kaz answered.

You sat in silence for a while after that, which wasn’t unusual for you two. Before you had gone into hiding, you had spent many evenings with Kaz in his office just like this. Tonight felt different though. Something had opened between the two of you and now you couldn’t close it. The feeling permeated every corner of the room until you felt like you might explode if you didn’t break this silence, but, to your surprise, Kaz spoke first.

“I’ve been thinking about that day that I saw you outside the Crow Club.”

“Why?” You asked, blinking in surprise. Kaz was still facing forward at his desk, back turned to you, but his pen had stilled over the page.

“I watched you for a while, deciding whether to chase you off or recruit you for the Dregs.” He continued, ignoring your question. You were used to that too. “You were good at pickpocketing – you could spot a good mark, distracted them by pretending to beg for pennies – but you stayed in one place for too long.”

“I know, you told me at the time.” You smiled amusedly.

“I was just planning on telling you exactly that, but after I got your attention and you looked at me I knew that I had seen you before. It was in your eyes.” He turned around to look at you then, his gaze finding yours immediately. “Your eyes never changed.”

Kaz’s eyes had. Maybe that was why you hadn’t recognised him. Kaz Rietveld had eyes full of wonder and warmth, that were curious about everything and shone when he was happy. Kaz Brekker's eyes were cold, they held secrets. The curiosity had become analytical, and the shine had turned into a devious glint. Kaz Rietveld didn’t exist anymore, the R tattoo on Kaz’s bicep was the only relic of him, and you were the only one left to remember him.

“Crows remember the faces of those that are kind.” He finished softly.

“And that’s why you took me in? Because I was kind?”

“Because we were friends. We are friends.”

“Just friends?” You murmured, a challenge in your eyes. It wasn’t a provoking challenge, more of an encouraging one. You wanted to know where he stood and you wanted him to be able to tell you. He was silent for a long stretch.

“Would we ever be able to be more?” He asked. You knew what he meant. Kaz had built up so many walls that he didn’t know how to let down, and he knew that about himself. It was how he had survived, but it was a way of being that wasn’t very conducive to relationships. He didn’t think that he could do it.

“That depends on you.” You answered with a soft smile. “Because I’m not looking anywhere else.” Kaz swallowed and looked away quickly, but you swore that you had seen a hint of a blush in his cheeks.

A knock came at the door, and you cursed whoever was on the other side in your head.

“What is it?” Kaz called.

“There’s a man downstairs says he has a job for you.” Specht’s voice came through the wood. “Won’t talk to no one else but you.”

“I’ll be down in a minute.” Kaz replied, then muttered something under his breath bitterly. You heard the creak of Specht's retreating footsteps and Kaz turned to you. “Will you wait until I get back?”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

You watched Kaz leave the room and let out a long sigh once the door had closed behind him. You were finally talking about whatever it was that was between the two of you and you just had to get interrupted.

You shed your coat, dropping it lazily on the floor next to you, and rolled up your shirt sleeves. Despite the pressure put on you from some members of the Dregs, you had never gotten the crow and cup tattoo on your forearm. You had known from the start that you didn’t want to belong to the gang, no matter how thankful you were for the help that Kaz had given you.

When you had realised who it really was that had approached you that night outside the Crow Club, you had been shocked. He knew your name when he spoke to you, though he had seemed unsure of it, and you had furrowed your brow and asked if you knew him.

“It’s Kaz.” He had said, and you had blinked.

“Kaz Rietveld?” You had whispered in disbelief. His jaw had clenched, his shoulders stiffened.

“That’s not my name anymore.” He snapped. “It’s Kaz Brekker now.”

When you asked him why he had changed his name he had simply told you that it was easier that way. When you asked him about why he was in Ketterdam he had answered that his father had died and they had sold the farm. When you asked about Jodie he didn’t answer.

He had walked you to the Slat, told you not to talk to anyone, and brought you up to this very room. You had trusted him enough to follow. Despite his proud presence in the Barrel, despite the fact that he was walking you into the den of a gang, despite the fact that he was almost unrecognisable from the Kaz that you knew as a child, you had trusted him. And in the years that followed, he had never broken that trust.

He had helped you pay for the first boarding house that you purchased, come with you to the bank when you took out the loan to buy your first ship, had come to the harbour to see you off the first time that you had gone to Ravka.

Kaz had once reminded you of something from your childhood while around the other Crows, and once it had slipped that you and Kaz had been friends when you were young, people were constantly asking you about what he had been like. He never told anybody anything about himself and people had been eager to find a source of information on him, but most people had quickly come to realise that you weren’t going to say anything either. Kaz had never thanked you for your discretion, but you knew that he was glad for it.

If you were honest with yourself, you had found yourself drawn to him ever since you got your first glimpse through his cold and uncaring exterior and saw his loyal and protective nature. The pull had only grown since.

Your thoughts were broken by the sound of the door opening, and you looked over to watch Kaz enter. The door clicked shut behind him and he moved to the wash basin directly across the room from the window that you were sat in, set down his cane and pulled off his gloves .

“A good job?” You asked. He shrugged.

“A job that I’ll do.” He answered and began unbuttoning his shirt. You tried not ogle as he pulled it off and picked up the washcloth from the basin, but you caught sight of a reddened stripe of raised skin across his side and furrowed your brows.

“When did that happen?”

“A few days ago.”

“How deep did it go?”

“Not too deep.”

“It doesn’t look like you stitched it up properly.”

“It’s fine.” He dismissed. You rolled your eyes and got up from the window ledge. Kaz never took proper care of himself but he was always too stubborn to admit it.

“Let me see.”

“I said it’s fine, Y/N-"

“Kaz.” You interrupted sternly, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “I said let me see.” He held your gaze for a moment before letting out a huff and raising his arm so that you could get a better view of the wound.

You kept your distance as you looked over the injury, but you could clearly see that the stitches were sloppy on the end of the gash towards his back; the side that he couldn’t reach easily himself.

“You’re keeping it clean?”

“I know how to treat a wound.” He grumbled.

“I know that you know how, that doesn’t mean that I actually trust you to do it. You didn’t even have it bandaged or anything, what if it gets infected?”

“It won’t, Y/N, stop worrying so much.”

“Well, if you’re not going to worry about yourself then somebody else has to.” You exasperated. “At least bandage it.” You didn’t wait for a reply before you crossed over to the cabinet where he kept his impressive stock of medical supplies and grabbed a roll of gauze. Kaz caught it grudgingly when you tossed it to him and set it to the side while he finished washing his torso.

“You worry too much.” He muttered.

“It’s good for you.” You smiled.

You watched him as he unrolled the gauze and wrapped it around his body, carefully laying it over the wound with pale fingers that you rarely saw. He was precise, but he couldn’t see his back and the bandage twisted as he moved it between his hands.

“It’s folded.” You told him softly, taking half a step towards him. “I can fix it... if you want.” There was a beat of silence before Kaz nodded slightly.

You moved towards him slowly and reached for him even slower, your eyes constantly flicking back to the mirror to gauge the reaction on Kaz’s face. Your fingertips barely brushed over his back as you unfolded the downturned piece of bandage and you immediately stepped away when you were done. It took no more than a few seconds, but you could hear Kaz’s short breaths and when you looked at him in the mirror you could see that he had paled.

You picked up the clean shirt that was laid on his bed and held it out to him at full arms length. His hand shook as he took it from you. He pulled it on quickly, making short work of the buttons, and pulled his gloves back on hastily.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, though you weren’t exactly sure what you were apologising for.

“It’s because of Jordie.” Kaz’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, his eyes trained on his shoes. “Why I can’t touch anyone. It’s because when he died...”

“You don’t have to tell me, Kaz.” You said softly when he trailed off. He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat, squeezing his eyes shut for a few seconds.

“When Jordie died, I was sick too. It was the Queen's Lady plague. One night, I fell asleep in an alley and woke up on the Reaper's Barge.” He swallowed thickly, wringing his hands together thoughtlessly, and you could see sweat forming on his brow. “When my fever broke, I had to swim back to the harbour, and Jordie... whenever someone touches me, all I can feel is those corpses.”

Silence hung between you as you tried to find the words to respond. It was a lot of information to take in, but suddenly things made sense. Now you understood why Kaz had become the way that he was; why he was prone to shutting people out, why the light behind his eyes had dimmed.

“Kaz, I... I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say.”

“That’s okay.” He muttered. “I have work to do. You’re welcome to stay as long as you’d like.” He crossed the room to sit down at his desk, his movements tense. You watched him for a minute, unsure of what to do. It felt wrong to leave him alone right now, but you didn’t know if he would want you to stay.

“I’m sailing to Novyi Zem next week.” You said. It was the first topic that you could think of. “I’d really appreciate it if you could look over the rent ledgers while I’m gone.”

“Sure.” He replied flatly. Silence again.

“Will you come with us all to get waffles tomorrow?”

“I have work to do, and Nina didn’t invite me anyway.”

“Yeah, well, the celebration is for me and I’d really like for you to be there.” You smiled slightly. “She probably didn’t invite you because she knew you’d say no.”

“Smart of her.” Kaz responded, and you let out a frustrated huff.

“Don’t do that, Kaz. Don’t shut me out.” You complained. He didn’t answer at all. You folded your arms over your chest and went to stand beside his chair. “I don’t care that you can’t touch people, it doesn’t bother me. You went through trauma and that’s not your fault. What is bothering me is that you’re choosing to stay closed off to everyone. You can’t keep your walls up forever, you’ll kill yourself trying.”

“I can’t handle it, Y/N.” He snapped, his voice low. The gravel in his voice might have intimidated you into backing off if you weren’t so adamant on getting through to him.

“You’ll never be able to handle it if you don’t start trying.” You insisted. “Maybe if you’d just admit to yourself that you care about people it wouldn’t be so hard to see that we care about you too.”

Kaz pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes shut tightly, and released a long breath. You watched him, waiting for a response, not backing down. After a moment of silence, he glanced up at you.

“I can’t need anyone.” He said slowly. “Not after Jordie. I can’t let myself need anyone else.”

“You don’t have to need me, Kaz. You just have to want me.” You replied softly. His head snapped towards you and you actually saw his pupils dilate for the few seconds that he held your gaze before quickly turning away again. You hadn’t meant it like that, but you weren’t upset that he’d heard it that way.

“I don’t deserve you.” He muttered. You leaned against his desk, a sympathetic smile on your face even though he wasn’t looking at you.

“I’ve been around this long, I’m not going anywhere.” You promised. “There’s more to love about you than you think.”

Kaz tapped on his desk with a finger, a nervous action that he would usually suppress. Then, he took a sharp inhale and turned back to you.

“Okay.” He breathed. “I can try.” You bit down on your tongue in an attempt to suppress your grin, but you couldn’t stop the smile that stretched across your face.

“That’s all I ask.” You lilted. You stood up straight, pushing off of the desk and starting across the room to the window. You rolled your shirt sleeves down and snatched your coat up from the floor. “I’m going to head home. I expect to see you at my door promptly at eleven bells tomorrow morning, ready to get waffles.”

“Alright.” He nodded, breathing a single light laugh.

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.”

“Here, Y/N, these are for you.” He said quickly, picking up and couple of envelopes from his desk and holding them up for you. “You’ll have to make sure to notify your business partners of your change in mailing address.” You chuckled, going to take the letters from him, and he gave a small smirk as he handed them over.

“Thank you.” You smiled, before turning and heading to the door. “Eleven bells, Brekker. I know you’re a punctual man.”

“I’ll be there.” He affirmed. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Goodnight, Kaz.” You echoed softly before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind you, a fond smile on your lips.

[cobaincreates]

the fuck is a touron? pt. 2

warnings: language, mention of drugs & alcohol, smut (wrap it you're smart), very brief oral (male receiving), 18+

count: 9k+

part one is here! i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it! also remember when i said this has been sitting for a couple months?? welp, it’s been longer than that...oops. but it's all yours now!!! :)

taglist is always open. have a lovely weekend! photo cred

— — —

3 weeks earlier

a loud blare jolted you awake.

“what the fuck?”

you scrambled to stop the noise, your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. your head knocked into something hard as you twisted and tried to assemble your brain.

a clatter of what sounded like several bottles came from your right. the sound still rang out into the room—which was where exactly?

as you got to your hands and knees and shuffled against what felt like carpet, you remembered vaguely that you’d gone out last night. the carpet and dark room didn’t tell you much else. but the trilling alarm was enough to set you into a search to find that out.

“shut that off!” a voice yelled from behind you.

your hand knocked into more bottles and you grappled for one, feeling the familiar shape of a glass beer bottle. someone groaned in front of you then a blinding light pierced across your eyes. you sucked in a breath, dropping the bottle and covering your eyes.

what, were you a vampire? you peeked past your fingers to a parted curtain letting in a sliver of sunlight. you saw a little more of where you’d been, the light trail full of bottles and some sprawled legs and arms.

the alarm cut off suddenly. soft snores and labored breaths filled the silence now, along with a pounding in your ears so intense, you would’ve thought you were still hearing the alarm. a slow, gradual ache formed in the center of your forehead.

you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the light. a sparkling stiletto caught your attention, but it wasn’t on a foot. you looked around the room and spotted its twin near the back of a couch. crawling over, you found liza laying on her back with her hair messily splayed around her.

she was yawning while her phone lit up her face in a soft glow. when your eyes met, she whispered, “hey.”

you faintly remembered her setting an alarm on her phone somewhere in between jell-o shots and body shots. or was it after the jäger bombs?

you let out an oomf as you collapsed beside her on your stomach. your head didn’t let up the pounding. you made a noise, your words muffled against the stale-smelling carpet.

“what?” liza said, not having heard any coherent words.

you turned your head, the carpet scratching your cheek. “i said, nurse me back to health, please.”

“i told you not to do those lines,” she said, shaking her head.

“what?” you said a little too loudly, earning a few shh!s in return.

“i’m kidding,” liza laughed.

you grimaced, mostly at her but also at the hair in your mouth. you reached up to remove it and sat up while liza looked at her phone.

“what time is it?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder around the room.

no one else had moved from liza’s wake-up alarm. your vision was clearer now and you took in the trashed room. bottles lay everywhere, a few staining the carpet in dark puddles. a lamp was on the floor, its shade across the room over someone’s head. it was warm considering the blackout curtains keeping the morning sun out and you couldn’t imagine sleeping in here any longer.

your head pounded again as liza said, “noon.”

“can we go? i might throw up from how hot it is in here.” you pulled at your dress, wanting nothing more than to get under some cold water.

liza sat up and looked around, dropping her phone into her lap. “i need my other shoe.”

“it’s over here,” you said and crawled to retrieve it for her.

she put it on, her dress riding up her thighs before she stood and pulled it back down. you took her offered hand so she could help you up. your heels sank into the carpet and you looked down, finding a soggy spot where beer had seeped in. you frowned and grabbed ahold of liza’s arm to find your way out.

your small crossbody clutch was resting on the couch cushion and you reached for it over a girl’s sleeping form, careful not to wake her. she made a small noise and you snatched it quickly, feeling the weight of your phone inside.

liza ordered an uber to bring you back to campus. it was fifteen minutes away and you panicked for a brief moment from not knowing where the hell you were. last night was a whole blur apart from arriving and getting into the swing of things. you remember dancing and drinking and having fun with liza and a few other friends. it wasn’t usual for you to sleep at random people’s houses after parties, but last night must have been a little more eventful than others.

you let out a long breath you didn’t know you were holding as you sank into the back of the uber driver’s car. luckily, you didn’t get someone hopped up on coffee or blasting music. it was quiet and calm, enough so that you closed your eyes.

speaking of coffee, you could really use one. and food. and a shower. had you really slept on that nasty carpet last night? you shuddered and opened your eyes.

fishing out your phone from your clutch, you saw a few notifications from last night and the past few hours. you ignored them for now and unlocked your phone with the goal of texting one of your friends who worked at the diner in town and begging him to have your usual ready when you got there. it was all you could think about as your stomach rumbled.

but when you unlocked your phone, your eyebrows drew together. your screen opened to an internet tab, a little plane logo at the top corner.

“why the fuck did i buy a ticket to the outer banks?” you blurted to no one in particular. well, maybe to your friend beside you, who lived in the outer banks.

liza lolled her head toward you on the back of the seat, not at all looking as concerned as you felt. “you’re visiting, remember? i talked you into buying it last night.”

“why?” your head seemed to throb even worse.

you couldn’t go to the outer banks. you didn’t have the money for it and the ticket on your internet browser said you’d even bought a round trip one. god, why had you done that? you were saving up for the summer. you were saving up to see so much more than the outer banks. as much as you loved liza, and you knew she’d love to have you there, you would be wasting a weekend. how were you going to tell your boss that you needed off at such short notice?

liza shrugged beside you. “because my dad will be gone for a whole weekend and i’m throwing the biggest party ever and you love me and you promised to dance to ‘back that ass up’ with me there.”

“oh my god,” you groaned and dropped your phone into your lap. you rubbed your pulsing temples. “i can’t go, liza. i really need the money.”

“hence why you have a job—said job will pay that back in a week. you’re fine,” she waved her hand and turned back to the window.

“i need to work that weekend,” you argued. just thinking about asking for it off had your skin crawling.

“you can take time off. you never do.” liza shrugged, looking at you again. her face softened when she noticed how distraught you were over it. “look, if you really don’t want to, then just cancel it. it’s okay if you don’t come.”

your fingers came away from your head as you saw that she was being genuine. she may have joked around with you a lot, but she meant it when she said that.

friday

getting time off wasn’t easy. your boss acted like the ultimate villain in a boss level from a video game, having you go through all of these obstacles just to get three days off. you understood it, you were short-staffed anyways and it was hard, but you couldn’t help feeling as though they were a little harsh on you. it was always a fight to get time off, even when you showed up every day, on time, and did your work without complaint.

right after you talked to your boss, feeling the ultimate amount of shame over requesting three days, you searched high and low for someone to cover your shift. turns out, it wasn’t all that difficult to begin with since one of your co-workers—who just had a baby and was still a full-time student—told you they’d appreciate the extra hours. you felt instantly better afterward until your boss asked you to fill out three separate sheets for the time off. no, you couldn’t just write the three days on one sheet. it had to be three. separate. sheets.

it was completely ridiculous and uncalled for. you fumed for a while, pressing way too hard on your pen as you filled them out. once you set them on their desk, all filled out properly, you reminded yourself you could quit soon. just a few more months of the semester and you’d be gone.

the next day when you came in, your boss had allegedly lost those request papers. and funnily enough, they allowed you to put the weekend dates on one paper this time. you’d stared at them for a whole three minutes, paper in your hand and tongue between your teeth with angry words just dying to get out. you can quit soon. you can quit soon.

the weeks dragged by before the day finally arrived and you left for your flight. it was only when you got off the plane that the hours started to fly by. it was colder this time around, which you didn’t mind, even on the breezy ferry ride. you were looking forward to campfires and cozy sweaters.

you hopped off the ferry around noon and right into liza’s waiting arms at the dock. she was overjoyed about you visiting and you knew all the trouble with work was worth it just to get away for a little. you were young, there was no shame in a little time off, and liza was right—you’d already earned the money back for the ticket.

liza’s dad was bustling around their house when you arrived, packing like a crazy person on a time crunch. he threw a hello at you as he shuffled past with an armful of socks and possibly underwear, which had you lifting an eyebrow at liza. she shoved your arm and took your bag into the guest bedroom.

“where’s your dad running off to? can i go?” you teased, dropping your backpack onto the light green comforter. the white walls seemed brighter this time, but you accounted it for the new sheer curtains over the windows facing the back of the house.

“he’s going on a business trip. and no, you can’t. his girlfriend is going with him.” liza left your bag near the dresser and hopped on the bed, the comforter sighing under her weight.

“girlfriend? aw, man.” you frowned dramatically and lay on your stomach beside her. “do we like this girlfriend?”

“she’s very...” her left eye squinted as she thought. “eccentric. like, i don’t know how to take it. he seems happy though.”

“like, weird eccentric or crazy eccentric?”

“i don’t know. i haven’t breached the abortion topic with her yet. that could be very telling, don’t you think?” a playful smile hinted at her lips.

“totally telling,” you agreed.

minutes later, you were waving liza’s dad off as he pulled out of the driveway, liza standing a few steps in front of you. once he was gone and out of sight down the drive, liza turned back to you with a flourish and a cheshire grin spread on her face. you laughed as she pushed you into the house and began jumping excitedly. music started playing somewhere in between the jumping, which promptly turned to dancing in the kitchen. having a whole house to yourselves was always a thrilling thing.

it wasn’t long after that that liza told you to get ready for a party at the boneyard, as she called it. you had no idea whether to take that literally or just go along with it and be surprised. you went with the latter as you changed out of your airport clothes.

as you were heading that way, you thought about that one fling you had the last time you were here. what was his name? something rich, with a t. tom? trenton? no, no, something obscure. topper. god, you nearly forgot about him, but now that you were visiting again, you wondered if he was around. in the middle of the semester seemed like your luck would be out.

liza was slowing the car as you thought to text topper, just to see if he was here. you hadn’t talked since that summer—what was it? seven months ago? you hadn’t felt the need to keep in touch. didn’t he say to shoot him a text when you were in town again? you supposed there was no harm in doing so. what could be the worst thing to happen? maybe he wouldn’t be in town, but you wouldn’t be all that bummed about not having a hookup. you weren’t as ravenous as you were in the summer.

“are you getting out?”

your head turned and you found liza standing with the door open, her keys dangling from her hand. you hadn’t noticed that the car had parked or that you’d arrived at wherever the boneyard was. the beach was right in front of you, just over a small crest in the sand. you could smell it slipping into the car from where liza held the door propped open.

you opened your own door and hopped out, the gravel crunching under your shoes. you were glad you opted for a sweater with the early spring wind from the water as it blew over your shoulders and tangled into your hair.

a handful of people were already on the beach, stripped driftwood scattered around. most used them as seats while there was a fire already going and drinks in their hands. you couldn’t help but smile at the sight, a giddiness filling your chest. this was exactly what you needed and the perfect setting for it.

liza pulled you into a group with some familiar faces that you had met the last time around. small talk was immediately flowing and you couldn’t care less for it, but you welcomed it anyways. liza was quick to guide you to the next group and the next before you finally got comfortable with a drink in hand. you sipped it steadily and ditched your shoes with liza’s, sticking them under a piece of driftwood behind where you stood. one of liza’s friends was asking you about your degree, something along the lines of why you had chosen it. you couldn’t comprehend it fully as your eyes drifted around the sand where people stood in small groups and larger ones.

standing near an overturned lifeguard post that was sure to be rotting away was none other than topper. he was facing away from you, but you had no doubt in your mind that it was him. his hair was blonder than it was when you met, funnily enough in the colder months. he wore a sweatshirt (blue or dark green, you couldn’t tell) paired with shorts and (surprisingly) sneakers.

you turned back to liza’s friend, giving them a somewhat vague but good answer. you then excused yourself and split from the group to head in topper’s direction. you stopped just outside of his larger group and crossed your arms, holding on to your beer by the neck loosely. it took a minute or two for topper to notice you, obviously feeling a presence behind him and doing a double-take. you already had a smirk on your face.

“holy shit, hi.” he blinked rapidly, turning away from his friends.

“hi,” you laughed. both of you went in for a hug at the same time. topper pressed your waist firmly to his while you hugged him around his shoulders.

“it’s good to see you,” you said.

“yeah, you too.” there was surprise in his voice and features as if he never thought he would see you again. your hand slipped down his arm as you pulled away before you took a step back, your hands resting at your sides.

“how have—“

“hey! the touron’s back!” a voice over his shoulder shouted.

you looked in its direction, finding a menacing smirk on an all too familiar face. you couldn’t remember his name as he sipped arrogantly on a beer, perched on the rotting lifeguard’s post.

you found your own sweet smile and raised your free hand to flip him off, which only egged him on more as his laughter filtered out. you were instantly annoyed, although you didn’t show it as he had brought unwanted attention to you and topper. you were sure most of the people in this larger group had been on topper’s deck that day in the summer.

topper looked at a loss for words when you turned back to him, his eyes still on you. you were glad he wasn’t laughing at his friend’s comment.

“can i get you another drink?” he gestured to the bottle between your fingers and you glanced down, seeing that it was a sip away from empty.

you gave him a nod as you said, “sure.”

the sun was setting by the time you got a refill, the glass cold against your palm, and wandered off with topper toward the water. conversation flowed as you caught up, shrugging as you told him all you had been doing was working and studying. you were lucky if you got to go out and have fun once in a while. topper expressed the same, talking animatedly about college and visiting home for the weekend to see his friends.

you wondered what he was like at college, if he spent most of his quieter hours in the library reading articles or if he was the type of friend to take up guard in the kitchen at parties. it was easy to imagine him in those situations since you hardly knew him. his smirking friend certainly didn’t seem the type.

you flicked some wet sand into the water, imagining the waves bringing it back to settle at your feet. topper stood beside you, the wind tousling his locks. you had just mentioned how your mother had bought a new coffee machine and how your dad canceled it because there was no point in having two. your mother just figured it would be easier having two so no one had to wait on the single-cup brewing system. it made you laugh and roll your eyes when you heard about it over the phone. topper had been smiling the whole time as he listened, his head inclined like you were whispering.

a rush of heat had slithered down between your thighs when you caught his eyes a couple times. he was just watching you as you spoke and you couldn’t help but smile flirtatiously, wondering if he was thinking what you were thinking.

how you were imagining last summer and the feel of his hands on your skin. you wished you’d gotten to know more of him; if he had any scars or little beauty marks that you didn’t notice the first time. it was easy to imagine it, but you had the burning curiosity to see for yourself.

you needed to take a break, to get a gulp of air before you drowned in the thought and jumped his bones right here and now.

“i should go find liza,” you said abruptly even though no one had been speaking. “i’ll see you around?”

topper nodded without a word and you caught a glimpse of confusion on his face, but you walked away. you let out a deep breath as you felt the wet sand turn dry under your feet. the sky was an inky pink behind you, windshields on cars reflecting it back.

you wrapped an arm around liza when you found her and she smiled knowingly. you didn’t have to ask if she’d seen you with topper, it was quite obvious in such an open area.

topper took up his place with the group you took him away from, but this time he was facing your way. you closed your lips around your bottle, staring back at him as he did the same thing. a shiver went up your legs, goosebumps exposing to the crisp air around you. you had to look away before you walked over there and kissed the hell out of him. your heart was behaving rather poorly now.

but could you help it? every time he looked at you as the sky grew darker and the bonfire grew larger, every obscene image possible took shelter behind your eyes. your mouth dried out so many times that you eventually had to get another drink and another. topper wasn’t making it easy and you started digging holes with your feet just to stay put.

you wouldn’t go to him, you made that very clear to yourself. if topper wanted you, then he’d have to make the first move. stubborn as it was maybe, but you’d torture him if you had to like he was torturing you now with all of these looks under his lashes. christ.

“my god,” liza said into your ear as she stood on the driftwood behind you, arms around your neck. “you’d think topper was a starving man.”

“shut up,” you laughed and looked at a fallen log in the fire pit.

“i’m serious. you guys have been undressing each other for an hour and a half now. just go over there and make out with him.”

you smiled into your drink, keeping your eyes far away from topper, or else you might actually do just that.

“there’s hardly any pda going on as it is, we need entertainment,” liza sighed.

“there’s your entertainment,” you nodded your head toward a rowdy group of young high schoolers shouting at each other. three of them looked angry as all hell and there was a bit of shoving before one of the older college boys broke it apart.

“that was short-lived,” liza frowned as she hopped down from the driftwood.

“you want another drink?” you asked her as she finished off her last one.

“yes, please!” she beamed as you took her bottle and tossed them into a nearby trash bin. you headed for the stocked cooler and grabbed two beers. as you stood, topper was making his way over.

“you have any plans after this?” he asked without much preamble.

you smiled, pulling the tops off and taking a sip from your own, eyeing him as you did. that flicker of heat made its way back between your thighs, warming you all over. you couldn’t deny the suggestion in his question excited you and you were giving yourself a mental pat on the back for being patient.

“nope, i’m all yours.”

topper smiled slowly, his eyes flicking to your lips as you licked them. okay, maybe jumping his bones here and now wasn’t a terrible idea. but you needed to string this out, you wanted it to last—whatever it was.

“i don’t want to leave yet though. i’ll come find you?” it implied that you’d make him wait longer than you really would, but it was satisfying to see him practically drool at the thought of what was to come.

liza was giddy when you went back over, either for the beer or when you told her that you’d be going off with topper for a little. she smirked, knowing exactly what for, but she didn’t mind. she wasn’t leaving anytime soon, and not without you.

you didn’t make topper wait long. when you were ready, another beer in and a relieved bladder, you touched topper’s elbow as he talked with his friends closer to the cooler. the ice was partly melted, but there were still plenty of drinks left. the fire was feeding off sweltering heat, and with the cold wind, it was perfect.

“hey, you ready?” you asked when topper turned to you.

you weren’t sure exactly what topper had in mind when he had asked you if you were busy for the rest of the night, but not having a clue thrilled you a little.

“yeah,” he nodded and took the last sip from his beer. his slid his hand up, capturing yours before tugging you along toward the parked cars. hardly anyone was over there. you could faintly hear voices and sounds from inside a few cars, some windows cracked. your fingertips warmed as your heart beat, pushing blood to every corner.

topper’s jeep came in sight and you tried to remember the inside. was there enough room for both of you in the back seat? or maybe you’d share one of the front ones. it didn’t matter to you, as long as he put his lips to use.

your back met the side of the jeep as topper leaned his hands on the window, caging you in. you were quick to close the space between you, either the beer taking the reins or your lack of patience from the past few hours of being here and having a staring contest with him. your breaths mingled and your hands grabbed fistfuls of his sweatshirt to pull him closer. the familiar tingles spread between your thighs and you wasted no time in showing him how impatient you were.

“i don’t think either of us is fit enough to drive, topper,” you breathed when you had the chance.

there was no way you could drive with everything you drank. topper tasted like the beer too, but you weren’t sure if he was fit enough to drive either. you didn’t want to chance it, nor could you wait that long.

“what do you want to do?” he asked against the skin of your neck, his nose skimming up the side. he pressed a few kisses, getting closer to your jaw.

you tilted your head back against the door and sighed, closing your eyes momentarily then opening them to find a few stars winking at you. there were so many once you focused on them. topper interrupted your gaze, pulling you by the back of your head to his lips. he kissed you as if you were his last meal, his tongue licking into your mouth. you moaned, reaching up to tangle your fingers in his hair. you remembered him being this much of a good kisser.

“let’s find a spot on the beach,” you suggested, only getting a kiss on the corner of his mouth before he pulled away.

his eyes were blown wide, his hair ruffled. if you looked hard enough, his cheeks were sure to be flushed, both from alcohol and excitement.

“seriously?” he asked, his hand stilling on the back of your head.

you laughed and nodded, brushing a lock of his hair. “yeah, why not?”

a cold wind blew, tossing your hair into your eyes. topper caught it and pushed it back to its spot behind your ear.

“i think you’re the girl of my dreams,” he joked.

you grinned and slid your hands down his chest. “do you have a towel?”

topper had to pick his jaw up off the gravel before he finally moved away from you and opened his jeep. he ruffled around in the back then finally pulled out a blanket.

“very resourceful,” you commented as he closed the door.

“never know when you might need it,” he said as he threw it around you, shielding your bare legs from the wind. he turned again to the jeep and bent over the driver’s seat to get something. you saw it was a condom when he turned back and closed the door.

“also resourceful.”

he laughed then took your hand back in his. you headed back toward the beach but in the opposite direction of where the bonfire was. it was quieter the further you got, nothing but the waves coming into the shore. it was darker too; all the more private.

topper took the blanket from you and settled it down. you took a seat as he fixed a corner, swiping sand that had gotten on to it. once he sat beside you, he pulled you back against his lips.

you knelt up and scooted closer, placing your hands on his shoulders for leverage as you swung a leg over his waist. you sat in his lap and hummed as you felt him against your thigh. he squeezed you closer in response.

“i’ve never fucked someone on a beach before,” you admitted as you slipped your hands under his sweatshirt and the t-shirt beneath, pushing them up.

“i’ve never fucked anyone outside before.”

“what?” you pulled away to look down at him, your hands freezing on his chest. he was breathing deeply and you swore you felt the patter of his heart against your fingertips. “really?”

“yeah,” he shrugged and glanced over your shoulder toward the water. “just never had the chance to try.”

“what do you mean? you live on an island.” you let his clothes fall back down, stopping above his belly button. “i’ve been here twice and i’ve seen at least twenty ideal places that would be perfect for it.”

“i don’t know, i never asked anyone and no one asked me.” he shrugged again and you knew you were looking way too into this, but it seemed impossible that he hadn’t done this at least once before. you knew that if you lived here, you would’ve done it countless times.

your hands slid back up. “well, tonight’s your lucky night.”

you pulled topper back to your lips, tongues meeting. his hands rubbed along your back and you couldn’t help but arch into him as he slipped them beneath your sweater. his hands were so warm that it felt as if he set fire to your skin. you moaned and sunk your teeth into his lip briefly. a shiver wrecked your body just as topper’s hands came around to your front, sliding up to your breasts. you felt your nipples peek at the contact and topper made it even worse when his thumbs brushed over them.

“christ, it’s cold,” you mumbled as another shiver came and went.

“mhmm,” he hummed. “i’m sure that’s what it is.”

you laughed and wanted to swat at him. instead, you swallowed that little bit of nerves edging close to the surface and reached a hand to his lap. you watched as topper’s lips parted as your hand squeezed him over his shorts. the fabric was soft as topper grew harder. you relished in his expression, the way his eyebrows were drawn together, and how his jaw flinched when he closed his mouth.

topper’s hands fell away as you stood. he looked ready to pull you back down until he realized what you were doing and watched closely as you pulled your shorts and underwear down together. you kicked them aside and shivered as another wind blew.

sitting over topper again, you knelt up onto your knees to pull his shorts down. you couldn’t help swallowing at the sight of him. as dark as it was, you could still see him pretty well. your hand wrapped around him, solid and warm in your palm. topper groaned and leaned back on his hands.

“where’s the condom?” you asked as you stroked him, not at all in a rush with your hand around him.

topper registered your question and patted around the blanket for a moment before holding a square packet between his fingers. you took it from him and bit down on an edge, ripping it open with your free hand. you took the rubber between your fingers and spat the packaging somewhere. topper’s breathing became swallow all the while you stroked him. you stopped and rolled the condom onto him then leaned forward for a kiss.

topper reciprocated, his hands grabbing ahold of your hips until he pulled away to look up at you.

“what if you get sand in your vagina?” he asked, an innocent tone wrapping around his voice.

you couldn’t help the smile or the way your eyebrows furrowed all the while wanting to laugh. that’s what he’s thinking about?

“nothing that hasn’t happened before. it usually takes a couple of days to get rid of but i’ll be fine.”

the topic didn’t stop there. “does it hurt?”

“no, i’ll be fine,” a small laugh slipped out. “that’s why we have a blanket. and i’m on top. can we stop talking about sand getting in my vagina now? it’s kind of killing the mood.”

“sorry,” he shook his head, an embarrassed expression taking form.

you snorted, laughter bubbling up your throat. how did that question even come about in his head? you supposed it was nice of him to care about such a thing. you hoped your laughter didn’t make him feel more embarrassed.

his expression morphed into an amused one and he joined in, laughing at his odd question. you both shook with laughter for a few moments until you calmed down. topper squeezed his fingers on your hips, dragging his palms down your thighs. you brought your lips back to his and your hands to his chest. pushing him gently, you went with him as he lay down. you stayed against him for a couple more seconds before sitting up over him and finding him in your hand again.

topper groaned and gripped your thighs as you brought him into your heat. you couldn’t find your breath as you took him all the way in and sat over him, feeling completely and utterly filled. he was in your stomach, under your skin, everywhere.

“fuck, yes,” you panted, branding your palms on his stomach, pushing his sweatshirt and shirt up again. he was flushed from head to toe, something you were slowly building up to be.

you started off rocking back and forth slowly, feeling him pull and glide inside of you. when you dragged your clit against his skin, which was getting hotter and hotter with the friction, you couldn’t help the way your body tightened around him.

“y/n. oh, fuck—you gotta bounce for me,” topper choked out underneath you, moving his hands to your waist to grip tightly.

you nodded without words, not really finding any with your tongue tied. your hands pushed against his stomach as you lifted yourself up, letting almost all of him leave you empty. then you slammed down, moaning as loud as you could. you didn’t care. not one bit. you were still aware of the bonfire happening yards away, but you didn’t care if someone from the party was walking this way and heard you. let them hear how good topper felt inside you.

a quicker pace was set, sweat building in the creases of your knees and under your hands planted against topper. you loved this. all you could think about was how good it felt, how you fucked topper hard and fast—and how you were getting to fuck him again. it was so much better than the first time, even though you loved having him behind you then. this was just as good.

topper was sitting up again, your sweater rubbing against his and your body feeling way too hot. his hands gripped your ass tightly, helping you rock your hips over him. you were close, closer every time your clit brushed against him at this angle.

it became too much very quickly. you held on to him by his hair at the back of his head, gripping so tightly your knuckles were probably white, and reached your other hand down to touch yourself. your moans were growing higher and more frequent and topper was full-blown panting in your face. when you reached your end, a strangled sound came out of you. you stilled over topper, pulling more of his hair as you came over him.

not long after when you were moving again over him, your mouth on his neck and arms around his shoulders, his grip tightened on your ass as he came. you hummed and gave a few pecks just before he let go and fell onto his back. you followed, moving off of him and laying on your side.

“how long are you here?” topper asked minutes later, his breathing leveling out.

“i leave sunday morning,” you said, blinking tired eyes open as a wind blew over you.

“can i see you again?”

you smiled, your eyes shifting to topper beside you. “don’t you mean can you fuck me again?”

his lips spread wide and if his eyes were open, you had a feeling he’d be rolling them. laughing, you pushed yourself onto your elbow and touched his cheek.

“liza is having a party tomorrow. you should come,” you said quietly, leaning down to brush your lips over his.

“okay.”

“that was easy.”

“it doesn’t take much to convince me,” his voice was tired, piquing your interest.

“am i that good?”

all you got in return was a low laugh.

“i’m taking that as a ‘hell yes’ so thank you very much.”

topper let out a noise just before he moved, pushing you onto your back. his lips landed over yours, gentle and thorough.

saturday

it was a blur of drinks and games and dancing at liza’s house. every room was filled and it was hot for a few hours until you stationed yourself out on the deck with topper. you could lie and say that you didn’t sit out there just to make out with him, but that’s exactly what you did. it was perfect—even more perfect when his shitty friends didn’t show up with him. if you hadn’t been so distracted by his mouth, you would’ve thanked him then and there.

hours later, you had met topper at the front door. you informed liza of your new plans and she was more than happy to get you out of her hair, especially when her eyes latched on to someone and she started to drool into her drink. you grinned fiendishly at her and quickly went on your way.

topper was unlocking his front door and your legs were still a little tingly from the drinks you had over the past few hours. your hand absentmindedly ran along his forearm, needing to feel him so you could stay grounded and alert.

“if you don’t open this door, i’m going to fall asleep right on this porch.”

topper laughed, his keys jingling in his hand. it was a few more seconds of him trying without a light until he eventually found the keyhole and the door swung open. there was a rug that the bottom of the door brushed over and topper walked ahead of you, leading you in by the arm you refused to let go of. he was warm and solid. if you let go, you might evaporate.

your eyes adjusted with the lack of light in the entryway as topper closed the door behind you, sliding the lock into place. your skin felt like it was humming, the hairs on your arm standing up as you stayed close to topper. his shoes scuffed as he kicked them off, his keys dropping onto a table near the door while his other hand wrapped around your wrist. he lured you in by heat alone and you leaned in. your lips landed on his shirt, but you moved them until you found warm skin past the neckline.

reaching down, you found the strap of your sandals and worked to get them undone. why you wore sandals was completely lost on you as you struggled. topper grabbed ahold of you so you wouldn’t fall while your lips pressed a few more kisses into his neck. his hands were searing against your shirt and your skin pricked with the need to have them everywhere.

you kicked off your shoes, feeling your bare foot brush other pairs as topper grabbed ahold of your neck. you didn’t know where he was leading you until his lips landed against your cheek. he adjusted to where he meant to land and opened your lips with his own, coaxing your tongue with his. you moaned as if you were melting, your hands moving along his back as your body relaxed into his. another noise slipped from you, your hands moving down to his hips. one of them you let venture further until you felt him straining against his jeans.

topper gasped, his breath fanning over your mouth and down your neck. you grinned as you squeezed him just so you could see how he’d react.

it was cut short by light flooding the room and burning behind your eyelids. you flinched, parting from topper and squinting.

you were doing so well with no interruptions.

“topper? oh—i’m sorry,” a voice came from your left and you held your eyes open long enough to see a woman standing there, her hand falling from the light switch.

you suddenly remembered where you were holding topper and you dropped your hand, a hot blush crawling up onto your cheeks. you shuffled away from topper faster than he did at composing himself. was it wishful thinking to hope this woman didn’t see where your hand was placed a second ago?

“mom,” topper breathed, hiding his lack of breath well. your own heart was beating so loudly in your ears you figured the woman could hear it too in the entryway.

you averted your eyes, embarrassment dousing you from head to toe at the fact that you’d been caught by topper’s mother.

“we’ll be in my room,” topper said. his hand engulfed yours and you couldn’t remember how to use your feet or legs. “night.”

you kept your head down as topper tugged you past his mother, her robe flowing with the movement. he guided you through the unlit house until you came to his room.

“christ,” he sighed and dropped your hand to close the door. “i’m sorry about that.”

“it’s inevitable when you live with parents,” you shrugged and laughed, looking over your shoulder as topper rubbed his hands down his face. when he dropped them, he shook his head with an amused smile.

you turned back to his room and glanced around, the light a little brighter from the open windows. the decorations were the same, but for the most part it didn’t look all that lived in. you moved to his bed and sat at the end of it, running your hands along the comforter and remembering the last time you were here.

your eyes found topper’s like a magnet. your skin pricked with that awareness of him. reaching, you pulled your shirt off and let it fall beside you. topper watched, his eyes following every movement you made, his gaze moving over you like liquid.

you held your hand out towards him, coaxing him over where you sat. he approached until he was in front of you and even then, you pulled him closer with your hands on his hips again. your eyes fluttered shut as he came between your legs and touched your face, bending down to plant kisses on your forehead, cheeks, and nose. your thighs tightened around him, your hand dropping back to its original spot before you were interrupted. topper kissed you on the mouth then, his tongue hot and invading.

you pushed your palm into him a few times and rubbed until his breath was heavy in your mouth. even though you were kissing him and delighting in the ways he could use his tongue, your mouth felt dry for him. a moment later, your fingers glided up to the button of his jeans, working determinedly to unfasten them.

when his shirt was off and his jeans were unbuttoned, you nudged him backward, slipping from the bed and onto your knees. you pressed your lips along his stomach, feeling it tighten under your mouth as his hands brushed your hair back.

“tell me if you want me to stop, okay?” you said quietly, looking up at him as your fingers fisted the waistband of his jeans, slipping into his boxers too.

topper heaved a breath and nodded. you pressed another kiss just beside his belly button as you tugged on his bottoms, pulling them past his hips and leaving them to rest just above his knees.

you didn’t waste any more time. you took him into your mouth within the first few seconds of him smacking his stomach. he moaned with your lips around him and held your face as you licked him thoroughly. you couldn’t stop once you started and it took everything in you not to give him that release as his hand tightened on your face and his hips began to move.

he didn’t protest or get upset when you pulled away, licking your lips and standing. he just kissed you deeply and you wondered if he liked the taste of himself in your mouth. you certainly did.

all of your blood was gathered at your center. your skin was bubbling to a boil and topper helped you cool down, shedding the rest of the clothes between you. your hands wandered all over him as you sat back on the bed, pulling him with you.

you separated for only a second to kiss just under his ear, panting, “i want you inside me. now. i have an IUD.”

topper’s hands paused, his fingertips brushing the underside of your breast. “no condom?” he asked, pulling away further to meet your eyes.

you nodded, biting your lip to keep from putting him inside you now. “as long as you’re okay with it?”

“are you sure?” his eyebrows furrowed and you couldn’t tell if he was worried about you or if he really didn’t want to.

you nodded again as you were having trouble finding words without your breath. “have you been tested lately?”

“before i came home. i’m clean,” he said, his hands moving again and squeezing your thighs.

you grinned as your stomach rolled. you pulled him back to you, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and smiling against his lips. “me too,” you managed to say and laughed as the excitement poured over.

topper’s skin suddenly felt too hot, but you couldn’t pull your hands away from him if you tried. more blood rushed in between your legs. topper kissed you a few times before pulling away and leaning forward, his hand moving to your lower back to hold you upright while his other landed on the comforter to hold himself up. you drew your legs up around him and tugged him closer, breathing heavily as you anticipated his next move.

he swallowed thickly and averted his eyes down, his hand leaving your skin to grab ahold of himself. you bit your lip as you watched, seeing him swollen and ready and practically dripping. your stomach rolled into a tight ball as his hips grew closer and you bit your lips shut as a noise of surprise left you, floating around the room, when topper dragged his head along your folds painstakingly slow.

as much as you wanted to close your eyes to completely let your senses take over, you lifted them to topper’s face. he closed his eyes as he poked his head at your entrance. when he started to slip inside slowly, his mouth opened and his hand went back to hold you. you held your breath as you felt him inch after inch, filling you and stretching you.

his head fell to your shoulder once he was completely inside, a muffled curse leaving his lips.

“oh my god,” you said at the same time as he said, “god, you feel amazing.”

his hips retracted slowly, just as slow as how he entered, and his lips guided back to yours.

“c-can you move back a little?” he asked. the angle was probably straining him unlike you.

you nodded and didn’t have to do all that much as his hand kept you close to him, keeping himself inside of you, as you moved further onto the bed. you laid on your back and moaned as topper started to move, pinning your hips below his.

“you need to be quiet,” he said.

“why?”

“because my mom is right down the hall.”

“so? she obviously knows what we’re doing.”

“still.”

“oh, topper,” you moaned a little louder, a smile curling the corners of your lips.

topper’s hand landed over your mouth. you laughed into his palm and opened up to bite on his finger.

“you should move that hand a little lower,” you suggested, rolling your hips into his.

topper laughed breathily and a moment later, moved his hand to your neck. his hips drew back then and he thrusted, harder than before.

“oh, fuck,” you panted, tightening your hold on him.

“you like that?” he asked, his fingers flexing on your throat.

“mhm,” you managed, your face screwing up. “just like that.”

you sucked in a gasp, your breath staying in your lungs as topper did it again. you couldn’t look at him, couldn’t do anything but feel everything he was doing to you from your throat to him between your thighs. your back arched, pushing your breasts into his chest. you cried out the next time he thrust, hitting you so deeply, your nipples peeked to hardened points. fuck.

“don’t stop,” you couldn’t stop gasping. “please, don’t stop. it feels so good.”

tears pricked your eyes as he did it again, picking up a rhythm and sticking to it. his hand let go of your throat and gathered your hands into his, pinning them above your head as he fucked into you. the harder he went, the more your nails dug into the backs of his hands. his fingers tightened over yours and you cried out with your hips smacking. he didn’t cover your mouth this time, suddenly not caring if his mom heard you. you didn’t care either, you wanted this to go on all night. hopefully it would.

tears spilled when he didn’t let up his grip or his pace. they fell more as he drove into you quicker. it hurt so good, you couldn’t breathe. you didn’t dare open your eyes to see if he was enjoying it too. you hoped he was, you hoped he was loving pinning your hands down, driving into you like an animal. you didn’t know topper had this in him.

his hand let go of one of yours but you left it where it was as his thumb flicked your clit. your breaths grew higher within seconds and you tightened around him, your free hand flying to his arm where your nails dug in deep. you couldn’t stop the cry bubbling in your chest even if you wanted to. it was going to come out whether you liked it or not and topper wasn’t doing anything to muffle it.

“fuck—i’m going to come,” he sighed, his voice strained. was he losing it too? “come for me, please, baby. come with me.”

“top—” your muscles spasmed and everything exploded. you cried out his name however many times as you came over him, feeling him do the same as he thrusted and emptied inside you. his spurts were heavy and warm as his face buried into your neck, his mouth slick one moment then his teeth latching on to you. you grabbed the back of his head and pulled at his hair as he bit you, not hard enough to break the skin, but it still hurt so good.

“oh my god,” you panted as topper lay limp on you. you could feel both of your orgasms dissipating as your juices mixed and dripped out of you.

having let go of your neck, topper licked over the pulsing spot and lifted his head up to look down at you.

“are you okay?” he asked, sweat collected along his hairline. his thumb brushed your drying tears away.

“that was—i—topper,” you shook your head, wishing you could find the words. “i feel very good right now.”

he laughed, shaking your body with his and making you moan as you felt him rub inside of you. “i’m glad,” he said, kissing the underside of your jaw. “i think we need water and snacks so i’m going to go get some.”

“mmm. that’s a good idea.” you couldn’t bring yourself to wipe his sweat away just to feel it on your fingertips. you were spent.

he smiled and pecked your numb lips before sliding out of you and getting up.

cleaned up and under the covers, topper laid out an array of snacks and water bottles. you sat propped up against his pillows while he lay on his side, his head propped against his hand.

“will you come back next summer?” he asked, popping a piece of fruit into his mouth.

you reached for the cereal bowl of chocolate and stopped the smile from stretching across your face. “maybe.”

“i was looking for an answer more along the lines of yes.”

“you’ll have to be more persuasive then,” you hummed and chewed.

“i can be persuasive.” he was grinning and you couldn’t help thinking that he never looked better. tired, hair messy, dressed in just boxers, completely sated.

“oh yeah?” you raised a brow at him.

“mhmm,” he nodded, putting the fruit down and moving onto his hands and knees to crawl towards you. he grabbed ahold of the comforter and pulled it back a little, revealing your chest to the cool air. his head lowered to press a single kiss to the swell of your breast. then he moved to the other. he pressed a final kiss to your shoulder.

“how’s that?”

you shrugged the shoulder he just kissed and kept the smile off your face. mostly.

topper grinned again and it reached his eyes. he looked over you, down your chest, then slid his hand under the blanket to your thigh. “am i getting closer?”

you gasped and grabbed onto the back of his neck as his fingers ran up the inside of your thigh. heat swirled between your legs. “definitely.”

⭐️taglist of beauties & babes⭐️

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[fairytalesofthewind]

Could you please do Alfie Solomons with a male reader? Some hurt/comfort?

I chose a prompt to go with this:

Angst 11: “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

Warnings: homelessness, murder (not of the reader), kidnapping

Requests are open!

word count: 1037

You weren’t supposed to be there that night, but you were happy you were. It changed everything for you.

Seeing as you don’t have much to do at night, you wandered off a lot. Sleeping in the streets of London at night was a death wish. And that night, you wandered just a bit too far off. You didn’t even recognise the streets anymore. But you recognised the sounds of cries. You couldn’t resist nearing the sounds of crying and groaning.

“Please, please, I-,…” You heard as you kept getting closer to the alley, the begging getting louder and louder. As you stepped into the opening of the backstreet you saw two men. One was laying on the dirty ground, clutching his stomach. Even from the dim lights of the streets of London you could see the blood protruding from under his hand. Your attention shifted to the other man as he started talking in a threatening voice. You couldn’t hear what he was saying, but whatever is was made the other man only beg more. Not even a second later you saw the man pull out a gun. You closed your eyes right on time as the gunshot rang through your ears.

Then you felt it as the shooter suddenly shifted its attention towards you. You did the first thing that came to your mind; you ran. You didn’t even realise you were running until you heard your footsteps hitting the ground along with the other man’s footsteps. You didn’t manage to get far. It only took seconds to feel the man’s arms close around your upper body and force you to stop. After that, he threw you to the ground.

From the ground you get a good look of the man who was standing above you. He wore a hat, and he had a long beard. You gulped as you realised who exactly this man was.

Alfie Solomons.

Now you were in the same position as you found the now dead man only minutes prior. You laying on the ground with Alfie standing above you with a gun pointed at you. You found yourself doing the same thing as that man had also done. You begged. But just as before, it didn’t work. You saw something you shouldn’t have. You decided to change tactics.

“Mr. Solomons, you shouldn’t kill me. I can help you…You need my help!” Alfie scoffed above you.

“Now, I wouldn’t want to kill a pretty boy like you, but I’m afraid I can’t take the chance of you goin’ to the police.”

Now it was you scoffing. “The second I’ll go to the police, is the second I’ll get arrested.” You were a thief, there wasn’t a pretty way of saying it.

He looked thoughtful and you feared that this wouldn’t change his mind, but it did. “I know things, Mr. Solomons. Here on the streets I hear everything…I can tell you what I know.”

A few days later, you walked the streets of London with new clothes and a new goal. Things didn’t change much, you still had to steal to live, but now you also needed to gather information to live. It wasn’t too hard of a job.

Every two days you had to go to the bakery and give everything you’ve gathered. You were always met with a big table full of food. Alfie claimed that he didn’t want his most handsome spy looking like a stick.

At first Alfie was the most excited for the expensive jewellery and the vital information you brought with you. And at first you were the most excited for the money you got for it in return. But after a few weeks you were more excited to see each other more than anything else.

You become even more important to his business than his right hand. After a while you weren’t just co-workers, you became friends, family. You were even more than family to each other, but you couldn’t admit that yet.

And it seemed that Alfie’s people weren’t the only ones who knew of your importance.

Alfie was waiting for your return one day, but you never came. He wasn’t too worried, he had missed your meeting a few times too. Work had come between it. He figured that this was also the case of your absence.

But then you didn’t get back the next day. Or the one after that. And the one after that…

You came back after 5 days. He knew the moment you came back from the ruckus outside of his office. His people were calling him, telling him to hurry up. He ran out of his office and almost stopped in his tracks when he saw what state you were in.

Your face was completely bruised and bloody. There were cuts all over your body. He picked you up in his arms and carried you to his office. Alfie had already ordered someone to get a doctor.

He laid you on small couch in his office. The one where you two spend hours talking to each other about everything and nothing. On the couch were you both realised that you meant so much more to each other than you had anticipated.

After the doctor had cleaned your wounds up, you finally had to time to tell Alfie everything. But as you opened your mouth to tell him who took you and where they took you, he shushed you.

He walked closer and dropped to his knees beside the couch. He shifted you so that were still resting on the couch but leaning against him. You felt him drop a kiss on your hair. “I was so worried, my treasure. Nobody’s seen you in days.” He spoke so softly, tremors clear in his voice. You decided to wait to tell him.

He began to weave his hand through your short hair. “I’m here now, Al. I’m okay.” You took one of his hands and landed a kiss on his. You felt his breath hitch and then he was sniffing. You turned around and changed your position so that Alfie’s head was laying on chest. You cried along with him.

You were reunited, safe in each other’s arms.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

Okay, so you said I could send an ask for headcanons about the childhoods of some specific merc(s)... I think I would really like to read your headcanons about Soldier’s and Engineer’s childhood :)

Thanks in advance and I hope your well.

Ooooh…I’ve been waiting for this! And thank you for being specific and not just saying “the rest of them.” Sometimes I get overwhelmed with nine specific mercs to write for. Your specifics are much appreciated.

****************

Soldier:

Soldier doesn’t talk very much about his childhood - whether it’s because something happened or he just doesn’t remember it, no one can tell. It’s nowhere in his file, either…he refused to do anything except tell fantastic tales of a fictional youth.

However, in a rare streak of almost lucidity, he spouted off the entirety of his younger years, much to the team’s surprise. Usually, if anyone asked directly, he changed the subject.

But now he described everything in vivid detail. And, with a bit of research from Miss Pauling, everything fell into place.

Apparently he had been born in a small military town in Georgia. His father was overseas, leaving he and his mother alone in their small yellow house.

In order to make ends meet, his mother worked at a nearby factory, mostly leaving Soldier to fend for himself and the house.

“Can you be a big, strong soldier like daddy for me?”

Soldier would always agree, finding his own food, his own entertainment, and his own friends. No matter what happened, he never bothered his mom. If anything, his job was to protect her.

That’s why, when his stomach started hurting and his arms and legs ached, he said nothing about it.

When he forgot the chores he was supposed to do and even the names of his friends, he didn’t bring it up.

When he felt tired all the time and some days could barely get out of bed, he just chalked it up to laziness like his mother did.

It turns out the factory they were next to was polluting the water next to the house with dangerous amounts of lead, which soon overcame Soldier’s immune system of steel.

He could barely remember anything anymore, and he became more and more distraught every day. Sometimes he would forget where he was and run outside, then get lost in the woods, only coming back once he remembered where he was supposed to be.

Soldier began to wear one of his father’s old helmets after his mom commented on his red eyes and the dark circles around them. He didn’t want to worry her. Besides, it helped bring back a few memories if he ever got lost again.

Finally, it got to the point where he didn’t even remember his mother, or his promise to her. He began to wander farther and farther away from home.

One day, he didn’t come back at all.

Out in the world with not a single memory to his name, Soldier wandered far and wide. He usually slept in barns and old, abandoned houses, cut off from most people.

Occasionally, he would find a family that wanted to “raise him as their own,” only to turn him away after finding him too difficult to care for.

He had frequent nightmares, ate little due to his unresolved stomach issues, and could barely walk ten feet without forgetting where he was going.

If he accidentally wandered into the same house twice, he would be chased out with either a broom or a gun - usually the latter.

He became “the demon child” in some counties, and “g*psy kid” in others, due to his long, unkempt hair, hidden eyes, and odd habits.

It even got to the point where Soldier couldn’t sleep on anyone’s property because he would be actively fought off like a wolf or a bear.

His only pleasure was an old movie theater that, as he recovered from his lead poisoning, remembered the location of and frequently snuck into.

The only thing that played were romance movies - which, like many children, Soldier hated - and war movies, which he watched over and over again with starving eyes.

Because of these movies, a single memory from his mother’s house came to him. A woman, tall and muscular from hard labor, giving him a shiny badge to hold, asking him to be a strong soldier like his father.

And thus began his life-long dream of becoming a military officer.

He trained according to what he knew from the films…which was mostly running, doing jumping jacks, and occasionally rolling around in the mud.

This only served to distance him further from his fellow human beings, but he didn’t care. Soldier had a mission, and he was going to do it well.

But the biggest change was his hair.

He had started cutting it off with sharpened rocks, but he was always saving up coins he found for a “proper army cut.”

Finally, he had quite the collection in a dirty mason jar, and marched into the barber shop in his town to ask for a haircut.

The manager was appalled, and at first refused, but Soldier stood his ground.

“Civilian, I’ll have you know that by denying a soldier with a haircut, you are denying America one of its best fighters! I can’t curdle the enemy’s blood looking like a hippie!”

After a short yelling match that, of course, Soldier won, the manager decided it would be in his best interest to comply.

He walked out of that shop with no hair on his head, but a huge grin on his face. Next stop, the ranks.

Soldier went from draft office to draft office, applying for and being denied entrance to the army for his obvious lack of mental stability.

This is when the personal retelling ended, since Soldier became very upset by the memory of his recruitment failures, but Miss Pauling concluded that he just bounced from state to state until Mann Co. found him, quote, “sitting in an alleyway, eating army draft paperwork while sobbing uncontrollably.”

Engineer:

Engineer also never really talks about his childhood, but both Medic and Spy (Spy knows everything about everyone on the team) know that’s for a good reason.

He grew up in a trailer community near an almost ghost town in Texas.

His father was an abusive car mechanic with a mean streak a mile wide and a shop full of failed inventions. His mother wasn’t any better - she was bitter and reclusive, only really coming out of her room to pick a fight with her husband.

However, what Engie lacked in family, he more than made up for in friends.

He had a rag-tag, Rugrats-esque team of pals from all walks of life: Rhapsody, the daughter of a struggling porn star; Tom, the son of two farmers wiped out by blight; Cici, an adopted girl that could barely walk into her trailer without a black eye and a string of slurs; Quinn, the nervous child of a single mother that serves as guidance to the other kids; And Fred, who didn’t seem to have any family, but had become a greaser big brother to all of them.

Together, they explored the desert near the trailer park, pooled their resources to feed and support each other, and used their individual strengths to get through each day.

Engineer, whom everyone affectionately called “Big Dell,” snuck parts from his dad’s workshop for his own creations.

By the time he was twelve, he could make a small, running engine for the soapbox cars his friends frequently raced.

No toy, piece of clothing, glasses, or tool was out of his line of expertise.

One day, though, upon finding that some of his parts were missing, Engineer’s dad gave him a terrible beating that broke a few of his fingers and left a huge gash near his eye.

Since then, he refused to fix, make, or even touch a tool.

He wouldn’t tell anyone what happened, but they could make a pretty good guess, since they knew where the scraps and parts had come from.

The whole group was furious with Engineer’s dad - their Big Dell was funny, smart, and was more loving than every family member they had combined. Even Quinn was red in the face.

They wanted to break into his dad’s workshop and destroy all of his inventions, just to teach him a lesson, but they knew Engineer would take the fall for it.

Instead, they rummaged through trash cans, searched their toy chests, and looked under their trailers to find things Engineer could use.

They waited until his birthday to unveil the massive pile of supplies they had stowed away.

Engineer immediately dropped to his knees and began to cry, and everyone else dogpiled him for a huge hug.

As the creme de la creme, they gave him a pair of welding goggles - the same welding goggles he wears to this day, having modified them so they still fit his growing body.

With his healed fingers and renewed spirit, he made each of them a gift: a toy car for Rhapsody, a skull ring for Fred, a full set of candle wax crayons for Cici, a chewable necklace for Quinn so they wouldn’t chew on their collar, and a mini-planter for Tom.

But Engineer was given the greatest gift - confidence in his own abilities and that he can be and was appreciated for more than his services.

This gave him the drive to build bigger and better things, which his friends happily assisted in creating.

Engie’s best memories are with that motley crew of scrawny, beaten-up kids.

But, as he became a teenager, the abuse grew worse by the day.

He was often kept in his dad’s garage to fix cars in sweltering heat and with nothing to show for his work except threats of what would happen if a customer complained.

His mother finally grew bitter enough to pick on him, wondering aloud and pointedly if she had made a mistake by having him, then immediately contradict herself by wailing in his arms about how she’s the most awful mother in the world, and how she would be gone soon, and then nobody would have to deal with her anymore.

Engie grew more and more distant from his friends as they either moved out, ran away, or, in Rhapsody’s case, died.

He thought of just shutting the garage door and turning on a car a couple times, but he would always return to his memories of the hidden cave of goodies his friends had collected or the many inventions they had helped him build.

It just wasn’t worth it.

On a night when his depression and self-doubt was especially bad, he decided to build a personal invention for the first time in years - a small, robotic chicken made out of bent gears and empty oil cans.

He worked on it for a few weeks, but made the mistake of leaving it on a work table once it was finished.

Engie came to work the next morning with his dad ready to chew him out. But, before any finger could be lifted against his son, he was interrupted by a sweet older couple that was having their tires replaced.

“Now, Ethan, ain’t that just the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life?”

“Hm?”

“That there chicken statue over there! It looks like it could very well get up and start peckin’ for worms, don’tcha think?”

Engie looked at the couple, then at his dad, then at his chicken. He slowly lifted it from the table and turned the key.

It started to slowly lean forward, then took a few steps on it’s long, spring-loaded legs. The neck went down, and the chicken’s rusty beak began to scrape at the pavement.

Now he had the husband’s attention.

“Didja build that yourself, son, or did your daddy help ya?”

Engineer looked at his dad for a split second before answering.

“My own sweat ‘n blood, sir. My daddy says I should stop wastin’ time on ugly thing-a-ma-jigs an’ put my hands to somethin’ worth doin’.”

The man smiled. “Well, this ‘ugly thing-a-ma-jig’ shows real skill. We could use somebody like you, once we train you up a bit.”

“Now hold on a damn - !” his father interjected, but was silenced with a cold stare.

“We’ll put ya through a state-of-the-art school, then put ya straight inta the work force. You can build whatever you like…and you’ll have a lot better materials than rusty tin. Whaddaya say, son?”

Engineer just nodded, and the man grabbed his hand and shook it.

“We’ll keep in touch.”

Engineer left that trailer park at age seventeen, leaving his fuming father and drunken mother behind.

He only stopped to visit Rhapsody’s grave before embarking on his new life.

There is still a stone plate with a message carved into it next to the headstone. If you brush off the leaves and dig out the moss, you can see Engie’s parting words:

“A friendship with you and the rest of the gang is the greatest thing I ever built. -Big Dell”