#◯ LIFE DEPENDS ON CHANGE AND RENEWAL. ( muse. ) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bartramcat · 3 years ago

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First of all I'd like to say I've really enjoyed reading your GSR musings. With CSI renewed for 2nd season and Billy not returning, I'm wondering if I'm alone in feeling a little apprehensive with flashbacks to season 13. GSR are in a magical place, they got their fairytale happily-ever-after in Immortality, and now the sweet bonus postscript in the renewed season. If Jorja comes back alone, do you feel we can trust the writers/producers to keep GSR in a forever-happy-place?

Hello!

I'm glad you have enjoyed my musings.

As for your question, I've been working hard the past day or so not to be too negative. Of course, at this juncture, we really don't know what Jorja is planning to do, so all of our apprehension and a fear of a Season 13 replay could be for naught.

In the event Jorja decides to return, I think there are some very substantial differences this time around, the largest of which is that we know what Gil and Sara look like as a married couple, a dynamic that was celebrated throughout CSI Vegas.

To backtrack, watching CSI from 10-13, it always seemed to me that they were treating Grissom like the proverbial elephant in the room, and the folks in charge did their level best to distance the show from his character. For a woman who was finally married to the love of her life, they barely allowed her to mention him or to give anyone a sense of what their relationship was like. She never says things like "Gil and I did this" or "My husband thinks this about that." Their marriage was just this thing that the writers didn't want to deal with, as if any substantial reference to Grissom would cause the audience to clamor for his return.

So they decided to remove him absolutely by divorcing them, apparently thinking the audience would accept that and move on.

They were wrong.

When we learned early on in CSIV that Sara had kept up her certs it made a kind of sense to me. Grissom is 15 years older than Sara, so it struck me that should they tire of life at sea that she would be able to resume her career. Now I didn't imagine it would come into play in the series, but it did give them a viable lifestyle on land. Grissom could either retire and work on a compilation of their research and/or perhaps take a teaching position at whatever college or university they landed near. I don't think Las Vegas was initially on their radar, but, apparently, now it would be, especially with the way they bonded with Max and seemed to enjoy being around the kids.

What cannot happen is the thing everyone fears: that Sara stays in Vegas and Gil continues gallivanting around the world on his boat. Especially not after the way we saw how they are together as a very married and very co-dependent (in the best of ways) couple.

The other thing now is that both Billy and Jorja are very protective of the GSR happy ending. From what Tracey said, the whole rollercoaster thing came from them, so I suspect that were Jorja to come back she might insist that nothing is done to torpedo that.

There are a bazillion ways to imply a happy marriage via one partner. The problem in 10-13 is that the writers seemed hellbent on not depicting any kind of marriage at all. That is certainly not the vibe I get from Tracey; he as much stated that GSR was his favorite thing in the original CSI. And, honestly, he seemed to be far more interested in writing for them than developing his other characters.

It seems the second season isn't scheduled until the 2022-23 season, which is almost a year from now. Things can change. While Billy may not be interested in signing on as a regular, he may be willing to guest appear from time to time. Of course, we have no more idea of what he will do than what Jorja will.

Now should Jorja decide to come back full time, were it up to me, I would have the Grissoms move back to Vegas and have Sara accept Max's offer of a permanent position. As the vaunted entomologist he is, Grissom will either be a guest lecturer at UNLV or some other local college. And, yeah, he can also work on some kind of book, either based on their marine research or a consummate guide to Forensic Entomology. He may even go on the lecture circuit, although not full time... just coincidentally enough to explain his absence here and there.

I once wrote a rant saying the CSI writers should have watched more Colombo. For a character we never saw, Mrs. Colombo was a very real presence in the show because she was shown to be such a force in his life. It was clear from the way he talked about her how much he loved his wife.

All the folks at CSIV have to do is to allow Sara to act married and talk about her husband the way happily married people always talk about their spouses. We went to that restaurant last week. We saw that movie, went to that concert. Gil thinks we should take another look at that suspect. Gil has a student who reminds him of you. I'll ask Gil if he's ever seen anything like that. I have to get going: I have a date with my husband.

They could even up the ante and have other characters mention running into them or him. Maybe Chris is even auditing his class online.

It ain't rocket science. All that is needed is the want to.

Do they? I don't know. I hope so.

#csi vegas #billy petersen #jorja fox #gil grssom #sara sidle #speculation #hypothetical #csi #answered

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prhyst · 3 years ago

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Serenity/Biorhythm

AKA my explanation for why Rhys is able to march with the mercenaries in PoR/RD despite a history of being ill for long periods of time and why in TOA he’s able to fight.

Rhys appears to have something like chronic fatigue syndrome along with other bouts of illness that the best I can do is chalk up to having a weak immune system. Being generally tired easily, feeling especially drained from anything with a physical toll be it exercise or as feh would describe, getting a sunburn and then needing to let that heal, are all issues that would make it sound like Rhys would probably not make it through long marches in the heat or snow. At the start of the game Rhys had just finished being in bed with a fever for a week, and in a Rolf support Rolf refers to Rhys has having been previously ‘barfy all the time’, but it seems like this has changed enough to allow Rhys to be a playable unit (most?) every map.

Narratively, I think it makes some sense that although CFS doesn’t just go away overnight and Rhys still has low stamina, his immune system might be getting stronger as he grows up. In my own life, I used to miss a month of school every winter as a kid, but as an adult I can go a year or two without getting sick even while working with the public. Doesn’t work that way for everyone, but I use that as part of Rhys’s ability to bounce back a bit better from getting sick, though he still does get sick.

Mechanically, most of this was probably handwaved for the sake of gameplay. However, he has a skill that’s almost unique to him as a starting skill called Serenity. Units in Tellius have a biorhythm that gives them either stat bonuses or penalties depending on where they are on their own personal wave. For example, this is Rhys’s:

His natural biorhythm is set almost exclusively between two extremes, but his skill Serenity negates half of the stat bonuses or penalties effects of his biorhythm. On one hand, he never has the absolute worse penalties; on the other, he loses his best stat streak. Serenity would make his curve in actual gameplay flatten out.

This skill also lets me say that perhaps this is why Rhys has enough fortitude to be on the roads and battlefields with the mercenaries. It’s not clear to me if Serenity is magic or not since it’s difficult to directly translate stat effects, though I sort of suspect it is (Devdan can have it but shhh he starts with some mag stat at least). Rhys passively adapting to his extreme lows by letting his biorhythm curves even out seems like his own ambient faith magic is working to keep him steady, even if his energy is generally going to be lower than other people’s. That, or it could just be his internal serenity letting it even out, though I don’t feel like biorhythm is something people can really use willpower to manipulate.

I just think it’s neat that a game mechanic can explain why Rhys narratively feels consistently strong enough to march with everyone, and it was something that bothered me for awhile before I actually looked at his skill. Biorhythm is sort of weird and not something most players I’ve ever talked to pay much attention to, so it was easy for me to miss when I first stated musing him.

Anyone can access any weapon in TOA, and I’ve kept Rhys mostly to magic. However, with the stat mechanics being as they are here, he may branch more into physical weapons and be written as not the best with them/still prone to overexertion, but able to use them to an extent. Magic staffs are outright said to not be able to cure illness temporary or chronic so it’ll certainly never be wand waved away (and it’s a big part of his character so I wouldn’t want to anyway to be clear, and also magicking away this kinda thing is just eurgh not what I’m about), but I think he can try and train a bit with new things with support and be kept IC. Though this post was mostly about his in game skill Serenity, Renewal, which he has in TOA, could also be fudged a bit to excuse him training for a bit without injuring himself. Either way, I really want to both keep him IC and also let him explore classes <3

This got long but thanks for reading!

Extra note: Rhys seems to have low biorhythm during January events. Thanks Death Maiden kdasjfglfgeufhuqoa

#ooc #about the muse #meta

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reinepadova · 4 years ago

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To Be Seen

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There are many paths up the mountain. But the view from the top is always the same.

Qingce Village. A plot of land once dwelt by an enormous, dreaded beast. A great threat, and source of terror for its inhabitants. Dark were the skies, and molten was the earth. Stones quaked and shifted from battles sown, and water turned fog from the heat of conflict.

Many a life perished or fled – those that are able, found refuge in the marshes or by the sea. Those that could not, stayed and endured.

But long has passed those years of misery, Morax reflected, eyes turned soft at the drifting dust under sunlight. Only Mt. Qingce remains, steadfast and true. A preserver of the old and the young, and of the croplands turned abundant. The landscape painted with colors of tranquility, with shades of the quiet.

To this, he could say, was one reason he fought. Why he dared raise great spears against those that oppose him, that question his strength. Why his ambitions for a seat with the Seven was so great.

Why he let his life's blood spill and his flesh torn asunder, all to be used for trade.

All he had sacrificed... so that all may prosper. So those deemed weak but with a passion for life, and a mind that craves understanding may learn, may improve. May become greater than what they thought to be. What they can be.

And flourish they did, Morax thought fondly, gazing out the window to watch three children play. A boar in the distance, charging away. Admirably so, like the trees and blooms that persisted amidst the cracked earth, or emerged from the muddy waters that once flowed red.

His eyes narrowed, then shut, musings turned grey.

He has danced and sung to the tune of combat, played his part well into the final act. His will, ironclad – unyielding and absolute, against the odds. Against all the other gods. All to reach the peace the entire land longed for after the audacious declaration from Celestia:

「Survive, and be crowned The Seven.」

「Gain the power of the divine.」

「Be one above all, in your chosen land.」

And to this, he succeeded, with glory placed upon his head, and the remnants of slaughter at his feet.

The Prime of the Adepti, said they. A riotous cheer. A whisper, filled with dread. Ha. Even among the Seven – the original, and the newly seated – he is the eldest, hence, the most respected. And therein lies his burden. To be charged as the standard, to be exemplary in the eyes of his people...

Still. This position is not without its advantages – he would not have fought for it if there were none. Truly, he could not ask for more, even if he tried. The enormity of his titles, to be granted the highest of honors among those that dwell in the newly named Teyvat – bearing in mind the heavens that granted his godhood of course.

His people are proud of him. His land reveres him.

And yet.

Why must this... dissatisfaction linger? The feelings of restlessness. Aimlessness. Like a shell drifting in endless sea.

What must be missing, when the fruits of his labor, the smiles of his people, and the generations therafter, are present and abundant? When the inhabitants accepted his protection, his standards, with delight, and worship. When they honor him by fulfilling contracts in accordance to how he fulfill his. When they sing songs and tell stories of his conquests, of his deeds as lessons to keep in mind, as morals to strive for and progress to.

Why then does this void exist? What is it he still lacks as a being?

Is... he still enough? Is he –

“... is Mei still doing good?”

A murmur, gentle and small, broke through his musings, eerily echoing his thoughts out loud. Morax turned inquisitive, amber eyes at the closed door, wonder outshining the memories, and bringing him back to the present.

The Miss Lala had been explicit about the necessity of his confinement, citing the resurgence of chaos upon his appearance. Seeing the tired yet resolute set to her shoulders, he could only acquiesced. He did not wish to tire the lady more with an argument. But truly, it was an odd request, at best. His people are familiar with this form, and would not run in fright, as she so fears. Why, they would likely crowd around him, vying for his blessing and attention and –

He rested one claw under his maw, pondering. Ah. That brand of chaos. I see. It seems she has better foresight than the average mortal. And most considerate as well. How kind.

His ears perked, hearing a faint, crackling call of farewell at the main entrance. He swiftly nudged open the door of the lady's chambers and floated out, seeing immediately the quiant scene at the kitchen.

“You're doing very good. You can stop when you smell it turning to powder. It's like... milk, but very very faint.”

“Oh! Can Mei put it on the lilies after? Please? Pretty please?”

Even from behind, the tilt of her head, the softness of her stance, indicates a fondness for the child. There is no doubt she is smiling down at her as well. She patted Young Mei in between her pigtail buns and replied, “Of course you can! You can sprinkle as much as you want. After we make the soil mix.” The little girl squealed, turning back to her task with renewed vigor.

He drifted closer, brows furrowing when the lady discreetly rub at her eyes while the little one is distracted.

It seems I may need to intervene.

-{-}-

Stella raised a brow, feeling long whiskers brush over her shoulder, before the slight weight of the guardian's muzzle rested on it. She smiled when gold orbs focused curiously on the crunching and banging Mei's been doing, relieved that he showed himself after the chief went out for her rounds.

“It's for the flowers,” she explained, reaching to caress a glowing petal nearby. “A bird's eggshell is rich in minerals. Its as effective as any other fertilizer... but with lot less smell.” Mei giggled in agreement, adding that her Gran-gran was ecstatic when she was taught other tricks in the garden from Lala – especially doing away with 'pork poopy' all together. “Also, also, Lala taught Mei how to water plants!”

Stella chuckled at the inquiring eyes of their floating guest, who managed to tilt its head at her from an odd angle – the perks of having a long neck, I guess? “She keeps drowning the Jueyun Chili plants back in the Harbor. At most, they just need a sip within a week. Ha! I know that look,” she crowed, seeing familiar incredulity on the guardian's face. “I don't know why no one thought to cultivate herbs in their own garden. Or to water them for that matter. They can't always depend on the rain. No one can control the weather.

Besides, if you can cultivate rare flowers, like the ones in Yujing Terrace, why not something as common as herbal plants?”

-{-}-

It is because of their plenitude that such notion is not considered. The oceanids have a knowing of the needs of the land – as such is my deal with them. They have been good to Liyue ever since. Why, when the croplands of Qingce are at their most vulnerable, Rhodeia answered their plea in an instant!

– Is what Morax would have said. But he only let out a small rumble and slow nod, turning back to the little girl covered in flecks of white powder, gaze softening at the sight of her bright smile.

As insightful as the siren has been since the start of their journey, it is not unwise to tread carefully. Knowledge is power. I have yet to know what she will do with it, once bestowed. If only the Fatui have not been such a conniving force as of late. I would have welcomed any foreigner within my stone walls.

Nevertheless, her care for a child not her own or of her people is admirable and exceptional, a far cry from how that organization operates. Her good sense too, would make for an engaging conversation.

Throughout the endless centuries he lived through – and will continue to, perhaps – he beared witness to a myriad of changes, great and small. No detail is insignificant enough for him to overlook. Or at all. He could not afford to. For one changed clause, nay, even one unclear word, could spell disaster for his land's defenses.

That said, he could assert he has very good memory. All printed and verbal contents of a contract is written like a tablet in his head, etched deep and fixed. The prosperity Liyue is blessed with is proof of his steadfast attention to detail; to consider all particulars, both the advantage and disadvantage, before he would, as they say, 'seal the deal'.

It is rare indeed for him to think 'what more does he not know?'

And yet, here he his, observing and listening. The lady elucidating their intention to gather an interesting mixture made out of smoked rice husk, charred wood, clay and soft sand. Another source of nutrients, she says, for the Lilies to be comfortable in during transport.

Eventually, he could focus no longer at her words, seeing her fighting to keep awake, feeling her sway dangerously on her feet. Her charge looked up in concern as she leaned on the counter, eyes closed shut in pain.

-{-}-

Stella gritted her teeth, about to reach for her temple when her world shifted again.

Although she never indulge in the various wines this world had to offer, she can imagine this was how the drunks at the dock feel: head, heavy as ores; body, light as a feather.

Or was it, float like a feather? It certainly feels like she's in the air. Literally. A sensation she never thought she'd experience again after –

An inkling of worry crept up her neck, minutely thinking of Mei, before she faceplanted on something soft. She reached out a hand, feeling cotton and smooth silk. Her...bed?

“Urgh... where – what?”

A low snort nearby answered her. She felt too tired to think of anything of it. The pillow under her seems exceptionally comfortable right now. Maybe she won't suffocate if she stayed this way?

So. Tired...

A chuff sounded next, lighter in tone, before something wrapped around her shoulders. She breathed deep as sunlight burned her eyes, a tugging at her feet made her crane her head down. She now lied flat on her back, with a large, blurry... something, weighing her down.

“... Mei? What are you doing?”

Her charge was quiet, wholly concentrated on making sure her boots were placed near the bed before coming up to her. The little girl tugged and dragged a blanket up and over her legs, intending to swaddle her with it. Stella feebly raised an arm, wanting to help, but a gleam of teeth made her pause. A muzzle cradled a handful of the cloth near Mei's arm, and lifted it easily up to Stella's chin.

“Lala? You rest, okay?” the little girl whispered, smoothing down the blanket while staring at her with wide, understanding eyes. “You work hard again for Mei. The Lilies? Mei tried to follow you last night, but Chief-dàmā told Mei to stay and wait. Mei tried, but Mei too tired. Mei wants you to sleep now.”

“But Mei. The Lilies – ”

“Gran-gran always scold bàba 'a person who does not know good rest, does not know how to do good work'. Leave the Lilies to Mei! Mei will ask for help. Promise! Lala should rest.”

“Are you sure – ”

“Lala. Rest.” the girl asserted, a stubborn tilt to her chin, but eyes still pleaded for her to agree.

Before Stella could make up her mind, the weight on her chest suddenly spread, encompassing her down to her legs, trapping her effectively. A huff of hot breath made her squint and look up. Larger, glowing orbs stared her down, making her stare back, mouth agape.

Mei giggled, seemingly satisfied she'll behave while Mr. Guardian was around, and quietly left. The skipping tone of her steps was still loud enough for Stella to hear behind the closed door.

She sighed, gaze turning wry. “Alright. You made your point. Get off.” Having a predator over her like this would normally be a terrifying experience. But when she remembered how kind it had been with her during their sprint back to the village, and how gently it gazed down at Mei, she knew she could trust it – to a certain degree. She's sure it has the strength to crush her with a quick squeeze, but she's oddly confident it won't.

Stella quickly reconsidered her good opinion though when the creature had the gall to chuff, as if amused, and placed its large head next to her, adjusting its body to lie comfortably on the bed – but with her still under it!

A sudden thought went through her like a lightning bolt.

“If you can grow this large, why didn't you do so last night and we could, you know, fly back here?”

Amused eyes turn blank, blinking back at her with a look that spelled of realization.

Stella groaned, grumbling about 'common sense is not common at all' under her breath.

-{-}-

“I apologize, good sir. But Zhongli-xiānsheng has not yet returned,” Ferrylady intoned quietly, bowing her head.

The gentleman in Fatui robes raised a blonde brow, growing pensive. “Still? How peculiar. We thought this special consultant is only busy during an adepti's Rite of Parting. It's been awhile since the last one, isn't it? We heard he's fond of strolling around the harbor. He's not one easily missed.”

“That is not inaccurate. But – ”

“But as we value his expertise in all matter of things, we believe he deserves some 'R and R' once in a while, don't you think~? I gave him leave to do so however long he likes~” said a laughing voice at the doorway.

“Hu Tao-zhǔrèn!”

“Oh. The Director?”

Hu Tao smiled wide, closed lipped, strolling into the office with a dancing step. Despite her upbeat demeanor, the gentleman still sweat dropped at the strange gleam in her eyes. “A consultant's work is just as demanding as any other job in Liyue, you see. Its why those of this realm, and of the next, leave very satisfied from our parlor~ No complaints at all!” she giggled sweetly, eyeing him more as she took a dainty step closer. “Buuut. Considering you have been on such a long wait, we will give you a great discount! Twenty percent, including the incense. You'll even get double the savings if you have a buddy with you~” she sang, fanning out two dark coupons from her sleeve and waving them invitingly.

The gentleman froze in place, quaking internally in terror. His time in the Fatui made him all too familiar with subtle threats, and this is a masterfully done one. Luckily, the Ferrylady spoke softly again, distracting him from his oncoming panic.

“Sir, may I take a message? Or would you rather we send for you when he arrives?”

“Ah, ahh...no need! The Director is... very clear, ehem – we don't mind the wait at all! An appointment with him is not that urgent anyway. Just mention the Fatui is interested to get acquainted with him, and his knowledge of the obscure. We’re confident your business will greatly benefit from a connection with us.”

“Hmm... I doubt it,” the Director hummed breezily, turning to a window to gaze out at the full moon.

The gentleman blinked, thinking he misheard. “Excuse me?”

Hu Tao giggled cutely, glancing back at him with smiling eyes. “We'll keep your words in mind, good sir! Buh-bye now~ I'm sure you're a busy man yourself. Our dear undertaker will tend to you when you need our services. At any time.”

The gentleman gulped, eyes widening. “Uhh, right. Yes! With gratitude!

Uhm, farewell, Director Hu. Thank you for gracing us with your presence, and your time. You too, Ferrylady,” he hurriedly added, not wanting to often the boss of the funeral parlor by being rude to the undertaker –

The... undertaker...

One who buries the bodies...!

When the gentleman hastily scurried away into the night, the Ferrylady turned to her young boss, face turning worried.

“Hu Tao-Zhǔrèn? I apologize if this might be spoken out of turn but – ”

“Why am I so direct with a potential customer?” Hu Tao smiled more lightly, doodling something on a parchment with careless brushstrokes.

“...”

Hu Tao chuckled, used to the Ferrylady's silence. The quiet suits the atmosphere perfectly.

“Hmm. Let’s just say for those that have incurred death's wrath, dark butterflies shall sure to follow. Poor things. To think they would have to do such a thing. Such a waste of delicate beauty.”

The Ferrylady gasped, hovering her hands over her mouth, eyeing the rough symbol of the Fatui next to large ink splatters. “Oh my! You mean – ”

“When Zhongli-xiānsheng is back, warn him of the visit. Business might pick up soon. Who knows~?” Hu Tao shrugged, humming thoughtlessly into the moonlit night.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

[←Previous] | Chapter 4 | [ Next → ]

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A/N: Sorry for the long introspection. I’ve been like this whenever I try to think link a 6,000+ y.o. Archon. Then again, no matter how much knowledge you have, there’s so many things you can still learn about.

Like common sense.

Quick translation of the honorifics I chose to use:

Chief-dàmā = Mei affectionately calling Granny Ruoxin ‘Chief Granny/Auntie’.

bàba = daddy/papa

xiānsheng = mister. In Japanese, its like ‘sensei’ (hence the Jap Dub xD)

zhǔrèn = director/manager

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Follower Tag: @meladollsims

#to be seen #zhongli #zhongli x female OC #zhongli x oc #fanfiction #companion mini exuvia #shapeshifting archon #hu tao #ferrylady #common sense is not common

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fmdjoosungarchive · 3 years ago

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restructuring task 1

+5 tracker points

1. assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background.

wc: 365

idk if i’ve said this on dash yet, but i’m treating new famed more or less like an au. in sung’s au, the defining change is that he was let go from gold star when he had his injury as a trainee. it was always my headcanon that they truly were close to cutting him loose anyway, so this is just the other side of that. he had his injury, got plastic surgery to try to appease them into keeping him, and they still let him go. when he went home his parents said alright u tried that now join the fam business n sung freaked bc he realized he doesnt want that for himself so he went to do smth he also hated, and joined the military. while there he still worked on his dance and vocals whenever he had a moment to do so, so that when he was discharged and started auditioning again, he wasn’t so rusty

he is a year younger in this world, just bc of quantum’s age range, not for any other reason. makes him a little less of a cradle robber in his relationship lol which, another change is that daisuke wouldn’t have been his first kiss, just first everything else

quantum is very different from old element and new element, but it’s very in line with what i liked about quicksilver (& has models from that) and he’s a leader! this is an idea ive toyed with a lot over the last three years tbh. at first i didn’t think sung suited a leader position, but he came to show me he’s just a different kind of leader. i liken him to jinki often in this regard. rather than lassoing members in, he supports them being however they are, and takes an intimate/emotional path to gaining their trust and leading them. and while he wasn’t suited for the full business life, what he learned from his father’s teachings helps him in dealing with the company as the group’s representative there (& he loves a good powerpoint presentation)

other timeline stuff for big events in his life are likely to shift but i’m not sure on specifics yet

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group?

wc: 260

as the child of a businessman, he’s never under the illusion that as a company entity, their first priority is their wellbeing. he knows that they are products, and that they’re treated as such. it’s a bit heavier with dimensions than gold star, since gold star makes a more active effort to pretend they care. however, once having accepted that, sung thinks himself and dimensions work well together. he does feel that for a company, they allow himself and his members to be a part of the creative process, as says their motto. he feels much more encouraged to write songs and choreograph under dimensions than he did under gold star, where it felt like he was constantly on his knees begging for the company to take him seriously

as for quantum, sung really loves what they’re about. he’s not a big fan of all (or most) of their songs, though he’s more loving towards a song written by another member even if it’s the same sound he dislikes, but he absolutely loves being focused on performance and concepts. his creative mind works very much on the basis of story and emotion that comes with it, and he feels like quantum’s concepts sometimes to often lean into his tastes. he’s always been a dancer first and foremost (god am i so glad to have his main dancer title back i MISSED u) so focusing on performance is v much up his alley, and his preferred style of dance is through storytelling. he feels the heart of dance is in that

3. is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract?

wc: 281

quantum’s on their first contract still, up for renewal in 2024. at the current moment, he would like to re-sign. however, unlike my others, his re-signing depends more heavily on the other members. if they were unhappy and wanted to leave, sung would want to follow suit, not because he can’t make his own decisions, but because if the reason the members want to leave is because of the company, not quantum, he’d want to try to help quantum continue to live. if that means all of the members leaving in order to rebrand under another company, so be it. he’d like to avoid lineup changes however he can, and ideally would like to be an idol for as long as possible

he himself feels alright about his treatment. he feels creatively stimulated, and appreciated for talents further than his face. if he were to try to negotiate different terms at their contract renewal, part of it would likely be wanting to give members a higher share of profits, especially on releases they’re creatively involved in. sung personally has no use for excessive money, but not all of his members have his background, and he feels more than just the money, it’s what’s fair. he’d also prefer to allow for more creative freedom. as a 7/8 year group by then, he’d think they should be allowed to take the reigns more heavily. and on his personal side of things, he would want dimensions to be more mindful of his schedule. sung enjoys working, but he’s only one person, who doesn’t want to be overworked. these are all just his current thoughts, though, and will probably change before contract renewal comes up

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations?

wc: 294

his motivations to be ‘successful’ and/or achieve his goals are his family, namely being someone his nephew and niece can be proud of, and someone his parents can feel was worth letting go of. he feels closer to the latter than he did in old famed. his members motivate him to be a good leader, his desire to grow as a creator motivates him to write and choreograph

specific goals could be bigger like his desire for more public recognition. while quantum has a lot more recognition both in korea and abroad than element or quicksilver, sung wants the best for his group. he’d be happy if they stayed where they are with their loyal fandom, but he still aims for more

sung also wants to get better at standing up for himself. he’s best at standing up for others, because he can slap on a bit of bravado in order to help them out, but when it comes to himself, especially with his parents, he’s pretty awful at it

he’d also like to create more for quantum, and others. i/he have a goal for him to write a whole album for someone, so if anyone reads this far and could want sung writing for their muse, hit me up!

he’d like to get married and have children one day. that’s always been a dream of his, and while he knows his career doesn’t allow for that soon, it’s still on his docket

he wants to spend more time with his family, especially his nephew and niece. they’re so new to the world and learning everything, and sung wants to be a part of that. he doesnt want his part in their early lives to be ‘i don’t really remember seeing him back then’

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future?

wc: 291

at some point, this bitch is gonna have to admit he’s a homiesexual. in his previous version, it was a lot easier for him to ‘i pretend i do not see it’ when it came to that. sung’s very ignorant when it comes to the queer community in korea, so he’s not even really aware of terms beyond gay, maybe trans. but, terms aside, he always thought he was someone who liked women, and daisuke and a couple of others were just outliers. they were the Special ones outside of his jurisdiction that were just too good for him to not notice. aka he believed he was bi. and now, he still does, but i have less faith he’ll be able to hold that up until he dies like i did before, because he’s actually dated at least one woman before in this world. considering the plot has yet to be picked up, i don’t know the specifics, but i do think it’s harder to run away from when the way he treated a relationship with a woman and a relationship with a man were lightyears away from one another. it’s still possible for him to run away from the truth of the situation, but it’s also very possible that one day, his thoughts on it will shake, and everything will click into place (messily,, probably the messiest clicking ever) it would be a difficult thing for him to come to terms with, though i think it’s better for him in the longterm to truly know who he is, and why he acts the way he does, why he feels the way he does about women vs men. it’s also nice just to not live a lie, even if only privately

6. if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why.

wc: 523

sung has a pretty filled history of individual activities. most are points claims with a focus on modelling, his radio, and music, though he’s dipped into pretty much ever facet of idoldom, some with more success than others. his ecp expenditures flesh that out a little more, and add a bit more realism, and/or make sense of the group changes. he had a one year modelling contract with the north face, and while official claims aren’t possible, i was inspired by a couple of things rowoon did with them. there was more of a push on an eco-friendly side of things, and there was a bit of dancing. playing into his group position with dancing i feel is fitting, but the eco friendly part i also feel could round out his image more as a good, kind boy who also can be sexy, whereas before, his earlier modelling claims focused a lot more on the sexy aspect, because it fit element and his trajectory there better. here, it makes him more dual sided from the beginning. north face is also just a nice, strong brand that i think is fitting for a pretty boi. i set it a bit after a year out from debut because i feel like that’s the most realistic, especially for a group like quantum that grew audience with each comeback

part of that first year being focusing only on the group ties into his creative claims as well! his first creative claim was with the bside love, lalala on the eternity ep. the nicest part of creative claims being unattached to positions is that all of sung’s claims are the songs in the discography most Him. so love lalala is very jazzy and smooth, and would have served as his first introduction to songwriting, as well as what made him interested in songwriting. then he was a choreographer on error, which is heavily story based, and about the members being a unit, and making beautiful pictures together. i hope to snag intro long journey and outro long journey from the beginning and end of the ateez sector, because they’re beautiful compositions that fit sung’s style, but also having him on both makes him feel like he’s a part of the concept’s creation in an intimate way, which fits with dms. then there’s aurora, which sung partially composed and partially choreographed. the choreography has contemporary flair to it, and the song is a flowing sound that matches that. then there’s partial production on sunrise, which i just love the robotic ass experimental production there, and comp for with u, which i believe ties back into sung’s rediscovering his love of piano. choreo for valkyrie is most similar to error in it’s pretty pictures way, and also has a bit of complex footwork, especially as its point dance, which is also p sung to want to include. and finally, some comp on stand by, which is like a mix of the appeal of aurora and with u methinks? listening to all of his written songs together i feel like really makes a picture of sung’s songwriting so i love that

#famedrstask1 #and the last q was me trying to keep it brief....... lol

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yunseoxfmd · 3 years ago

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« RS TASK # 1 ➸ CHANGES »

suwei in essence hasn’t really changed. her biography up until her high school graduation is untouched. she still struggles with asthma and gad and she still trained in china. all her major changes involve her training and career.

instead of debuting after only a couple of months of training in a group with a solidified lineup she now debuted in the original lineup after a year of training. she obviously feels more prepared. she loves being an idol but that doesn’t mean she knows what she’s doing all the time. a year still isn’t ideal but it is better. and this time around she does feel closer to her members and now feels less like an outsider.

along with her training her group’s debut was also pushed back by a year. so instead of being in the industry for three years she’s only been in the industry for two. which means that her solo career is starting relatively early despite the small number of active years.

she is no longer the maknae, which has resulted in her becoming a fake maknae. before being maknae really played into her image. with the title of maknae no longer hers she now has to rely solely on her personality and talent. her personality isn’t a problem. and while yes she’s talented she knows she isn’t the best. she can still be seen as childish. the maknae is in a way expected to be childish and mischievous. she’s childish and naive in a lot of ways and can’t use the excuse of being the youngest.

she is now a main vocalist instead of a vocalist which means that she gets more lines. she isn’t necessarily happy with this fact. in version 2.0 suwei was happy with being just a vocalist and allowing her members to shine. now she has more importance and she can’t help but feel pressured. feelings of doubt are also prevalent.

2. what does your muse think of their company and their group? / wc : 257

suwei thinks highly of her company. really any company that debuted her would have made a good impression. after the failed attempt at her former company she auditioned with low expectations. she didn’t want to get her hopes up. but she was also being hopeful. it was a chance she had to take. and to her surprise she made it in.

she respects choi yeongjin for who he is. he's her boss and she was raised to treat those in power with respect. she doesn’t really know him so she can’t really tell you how she feels for him in a personal manner. she gets along with staff members. and again she has respect for them. She listens to what they say and follows their directions when she needs to. She is probably closest with the makeup artists.she agrees with most of dimensions actions.

andromeda made their debut almost a decade after calypso debuted. the only other girl group under dimensions. andromeda isn’t the group that she’d pick for herself. the concept just isn’t something she personally gravitated toward. but so far she’s liked all their title tracks. she’s glad to be given the opportunity. and is happy to have he main vocal position. although she doesn’t feel like she’s the best option. despite not being in love with the concept she actually really enjoys the music they’ve released so far. she doesn’t hate any title tracks, but some b-sides she’s not a huge fan off. but overall she’s okay with the direction andromeda is taking.

andromeda is currently on their first contract. and it will be up for renewal in 2026. she has five years until she has to resign. and for her things are looking positive.

andromeda debuted a little over two years ago. she feels that isn’t a whole lot of time to base the next five years off of. andromeda since debut has released 8 singles and 7 mini albums.

two mini albums in 2019. thee mini albums and a repackaged album in 2020. and only two mini albums in 2021. each year varies so differently. there’s really no saying what’s to happen over the next five years. and all of its dependent on outside forces.

she’s still very much hopeful for the rest of the first contact. this year has offered the girls a break. and she’s hoping that means dimensions has some plans for next year. but next year may be just as busy as the year after their debut or continue to be slow.

despite how slow 2021 had been for andromeda she’s hopeful for the future. there is still plenty of time to gain the popularity they need to stay afloat. she wants to see the next contract, and will want to re-sign if given the chance. when she debuted with andromeda she made a promise to herself. to see this to the end. she’s been given this second opportunity to debut and she won’t waste it.

since it’s so far away she hasn’t put much thought into the possibility of not renewing the contact or disbanding before then. it’s a possibility she’d rather not think of. nor had she put in any thought into the possibility of her members not resigning.

she believes dimensions will do everything in their power to make that happen. and she hopes that dimensions continues this storytelling something they are known for. it’s unique and different. and that sells.

4. what are your muse’s goals and motivations? / wc : 297

suwei ultimately wants to live life to her standards. to make the most out of her situation. she just wants to be happy no matter what that entails. and she knows that it may change and she wants to be able to change with it.

she also wants to make others people happy. she can’t please everyone but she can try. and she’s learned to accept that’s all she can do. all she can do is try.

suwei in the end is in the business to make music. not necessarily to procure but to record. it’s to ultimately make a connection with fans. she loves putting fans first. she loves interacting with them anyway she can.

she eventually wants to make a solo career. she wants to release a single. maybe a mini album. if she’s lucky a full album. in the end she want to make her fans happy. she wants these to make an impact and spread a little joy. of she can make a difference in one persons life she’ll be happy. she’s hopeful but not set on it.

she wants to eventually write her own songs. she’s willing to progress slowly and learn first. she isn’t afraid to ask for her and she has a mentor that gives her the time and patience. one day she may write a song she gets to perform solo. to get dimensions to use her song as a title track for andromeda or really any group would make her feel proud.

she also wants to do more variety. it’s something she enjoys. she loves interacting and she gets to make other people happy. more guest appearances. to be able to have an extended guest appearance ideal. and again if she’s lucky she’ll get the opportunity to host.

5. what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? / wc : 340

as of right now suwei is still her in her honeymoon phase with being an idol. she has her rose colored glasses on and she doesn’t plan on taking them off anytime soon. but in the future her thoughts and opinion on being an idol will change. she is still very naive and sees the good in people. this may or may not change. but what will definitely change is her opinions on the company and the harsh realities of being an idol. eventually she will have eternal conflict. but first she must external conflict. conflict with other idols that don’t see eye to eye with her. seniors who simply feel she’s naive, or to innocents to be an idol. whether they mean to protect her or simply want to hurt her. and eventually conflict with the company. she’s going to agree less and less with their decisions. she’s going to question their ideas more. some events will occur that will simply change the way she sees the company and staff.

depending on andromeda’s career this may happen earlier. and eventually she’ll see their true nature. whether that’s through her own experience or the experience of one of her member or label mate. eventually this will lead to her questioning if being an idol if it’s as great as she made it out to be. and if the company deserves the respect she’s given them. currently the company hasn’t given her any reason to distrust them, but that will definitely change. they cosmonauts will given her a reason to distrust them and she’s going to struggle with this. she’s going to question everything she’s known.

and something that she’s currently struggling with is her sexuality. and while no she isn’t ashamed of it, she’s never had to question it before. but she can’t deny her feelings and she knows that she’s attracted to female as much as she is to males. and it’s taking her some time to realize this is okay despite what society has to say about it.

suwei made her first public appearance in quantum’s eternity music video as the female lead. at the time she was a trainee. and fans knew her face before they knew her name. she was thankful for the opportunity especially considering she’s never considered herself an actress. it was a very minor role and will be her only acting role. she wouldn’t be opposed to starting in another groups music video especially one outside of the company.

she made her first variety show appearance in 2020 on battle trip. it’s solidified a career for her in variety. it was well perceived. fans and non fans alike adored her. her personality shines through. she was simply made for variety.

in 2021 she collaborated with candy’s alice. they release a cover single of mi amor on may 13. it was her first time releasing music without andromeda. and she was glad to have alice with her. and a month later she released a duo cover for ceci korea with alice.

throughout the same few months she was also working on the colla3orate project. in june the single seoul was released.

she is grateful for every solo opportunity she’s had up to this point. she is proud of her accomplishments. a few years ago if you asked her if she’d ever debut she wouldn’t of been able to answer you. she really wasn’t sure with her failed attempt a couple of years ago.

she’d also feel grateful for any future solo activities she’s given. that could be a solo single or an ost. she’d be happy to get any variety show roles. it’s a big dream to host or co-host a show. to mv would also be something she’d like doing.

#famedrstask1 #+5 tracker points #finally finished

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eleanorbloom · 4 years ago

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[OH] When You’re Ready Ch. 02

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x f! MC (Eleanor Bloom) x Ethan Ramsey.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warning: Angst, lots of angst; adult language

Summary: Bryce has decided to let go of Eleanor because she’s in love with Ethan Ramsey. But a turn in her relationship with the attending might change Bryce's plans.

Taglist: @utterlyinevitable

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist! ;)

_______

Chapter Two: Why Keep On Breaking My Heart

Why do you toy with my dreams They’re depending on you to come true?

After her successful return to Edenbrook, Eleanor continued her residency with renewed energy and self-confidence. Although she had already achieved the position in the Diagnostic Team, she was still considered between the Attendings as the best medical intern in the hospital, due to her profound care for the wellbeing of her patients, and the solidarity she had with her colleagues and staff.

The fact that Ethan was putting boundaries between the two didn’t affect her work at first, but eventually, it began to ruining the almost inexistent and fragile emotional stability she had left after such chaotic weeks that had her life on the verge of collapse.

Ethan kept pressuring her to become the best doctor she could be, maintaining a strictly professional relationship between them, but always, after weeks of self-restraint, he would fall into the temptation of generating any situation in which both discussed, just to ended up kissing desperately. He would push her away just as Eleanor would pressure him to face his feelings. Ethan kept insisting that their situation was very difficult, but her career was too important to jeopardize it with their relationship. This dynamic happening over and over again. Ethan walking away, ignoring her, then exploding because Eleanor knew exactly what to say to make him surrender, to finally end up walking away again, like he never faced anything, like he never stopped ignoring her since they both came back to Edenbrook. After all this, Eleanor was made of knots of anguish and anxiety.

The last time, it had been almost a month ago. Eleanor was already tired of Ethan’s avoidances, of the rude responses, of the excuses that “he didn’t have time to talk”. That day, after having solved a very difficult case, and from which she had obtained no support or help from Ethan, under the excuse that she had to solve it herself because otherwise, she would never be the best doctor she could be if he intervened at the first difficulty, she visited him in his office to talk to him. She used to avoid to make a conflict out of it, but Ethan always pushed her to the limit, to the limit where she no longer tolerated all the rudeness he had inflicted.

She knocked on his office door, and after a few moments, Ethan invited her to come in. Well, not her, because if he had known she was the one behind the door, he would have denied her the entry. Or maybe he wouldn’t have answered at all.

Eleanor watched how her jaw clenched as she entered.

“Eleanor, what do you need?"—He said, tension evident in his voice.

"I want to know for how long you are gonna keep this bullshit between us"—She inquired without further ado.

"I beg your pardon?"—His eyes lit with rage.

"You’ve been avoiding me for weeks, for months, now! You don’t even look at me, and when I ask you for help, you get rid of the responsibility under the excuse that ‘I have to learn by myself’” —She gestured with her fingers and her face visibly pissed off—"What the fuck are you an Attending for, then?“

"If you really needed my help, I wouldn’t hesitate to intervene”

“You wouldn’t hesitate to send Inés or Zaid to monitor my progress and intervene there if they see that I’m lost! I already realized your little game, Ethan. You use them to avoid having to deal with me”

“I do it with all the interns, that’s what senior residents are for. Why should I have a special treatment with you?“

Eleanor shook her head, disbelief on her face

"I’m not asking for special treatment, I’m simply asking you to speak to me because you just keep ignoring me”

"And why do you need me to stop ignoring you?”

Eleanor was losing her patience, she had dealt with his avoidances and pretended disinterest too many times. She was getting really tired of it.

“I miss you, Ethan"—She confessed.

Ethan looked away, avoiding her pleading eyes.

"That has nothing to do with the hospital, so your justification is out of place”

“I’m worried about you…”

“Worried? Why?”

“Because I know that you’re not having a good time with all this, I’m not having a good time either…”

“Eleanor…"—He mused imploringly—"Please don’t do this. You well know-”

“But it’s too unfair"—She interrupted—"We are both suffering. And you make me feel horrible when you ignore me. I wonder if that’s because you don’t care about me anymore”

Ethan got up and went to the window next to his desk, clearly uncomfortable with the question. He stood there for a few moments, losing his sight at the view of Boston, at the infinity of buildings and streets, vehicles moving in different directions, people walking and running to their destinations.

Eleanor waited for a reply, but after realizing that Ethan wouldn’t answer her like he did so many times before, she turned around to leave, just as Ethan opened his mouth to answer her.

“If I’m doing all of this it’s precisely because I care about you, Eleanor”—He said in a deep voice—"I don’t want my feelings to ruin all your potential, your career, and to put obstacles in the promising future you have. Your career is much more important than what I want…"

“And what about what I want?"—She inquired in a tiny voice as she hugged him from behind. Ethan tensed at her touch.

"I do this for your own good, Eleanor"—He replied, using all the mental strength he had to avoid succumbing to her embrace—I know what you want because we… We both want the same, but I’m preventing you from making a mistake.

“I’m an adult, I know all the implications. You have no right to choose for me”

“I know, and I’m not comfortable with that. But I know that this is the best for you. I don’t want to do anything that hurts you”

“But you’re already doing it”

Ethan turned to face her.

“What do you mean?”

“I’m in deep shit with your silence, when you ignore me, when you spend weeks without even looking at me. You make me feel invisible. You make me feel like I’m nothing to you”

"Eleanor,” Ethan stroked her cheek, and watched her honey eyes full of tears “You know that’s not true”

“At this point, I don’t know. I don’t know what’s real, if we were real, if you still care about me. Because you’ve spent months pretending that I am nothing to you, and what happened seems to be just a dream”

“All that happened was real. But it must remain there, in the past”

“Ethan…”

“Eleanor”—He added abruptly.

He was losing his patience because he sensed all his strength was leaving his body. Having her just a few inches from him, begging for his touch, for his love, was more than he could bear

“You well know why I have to do this. Don’t make it more difficult than already is”

“I know that someday I’ll understand why you’re doing all this, because of my career and all that… But I think I’ll never understand why it has to be this way, why you have to take me away from you, why you have to ignore me. Why Ethan? Why do you have to act like you hate me to show me how much you care?”

Ethan had a logical answer: “Because it’s easier for me like that. Because that way I won’t surrender, I won’t feel the urge to kiss you every time I see you ”. But he couldn’t say that, because it wasn’t right. He knew that the way he was dealing with the situation was not fair and the way he had been treating her wasn’t correct nor the most logical alternative. Eleanor was right, it hadn’t to be that way, but Ethan couldn’t any other way but that.

“I miss you so much—She sighed, melting as she put her arms around him—“If at least we had a friendly relationship, if only we could talk, if I could count on you and you on me. But you don’t even let me that, Ethan. You completely deprive me of you after you gave me everything”

Ethan stared at her in pain and couldn’t resist the urge to hug her. To protect her, to caress her hair to ease her pain. The moment Ethan planted his lips on her forehead, Eleanor sobbed.

“Why can’t you face your feelings differently?”

"Because I’m weak"—He finally confessed, not parting his lips from her face—"Because when I’m with you I lose all the self-control I have, and if I have you around, I don’t give a shit about anything. And I can’t allow it”

“And you can’t even try?”

"Do you think I haven’t? I did it until I kissed you in Miami, I did it until you went to my apartment and we made love for the first time. I tried again when we both got back to Edenbrook. But after everything that happened, it’s much harder for me to do so knowing that I had you”

"Ethan … But can you at least try to be less cruel?” At least stop pretending that I don’t exist? Can you look at me, speak to me? You really hurt me”

“And it hurts me to see you and not be able to have you”

Ethan moved his lips to her cheeks, kissing the tears that were falling from her eyes. He drank the salt of anguish, of pain, of injustice. Eleanor raised her head so her lips were brushing his.

“Eleanor…”

“Ethan… I’m drowning"—She said in a hushed voice—"Please … Give me a break”

Ethan took her chin and looked at her face for the first time in weeks. Weeks that seemed like forever. He had missed both having her beautiful face close, and being able to study all her features and the way each emotion formed on her face, or how the color of her eyes varied according to the light. Inside the building, it was more likely to capture chocolate hues, and with trails of natural light, they were accentuated in honey tones. In full sunlight, they took on an orange hue similar to ginger. And at night, it was the most beautiful amber shade he’d ever seen.

Eleanor’s eyes sparkled against the grayish light of winter in Boston. Chocolate tones mixing with honey and a turbulent sea of fear, anxiety, loneliness. There was no trace of the bright, yellow trails similar to sunshine that always characterized her gaze.

“Please"—She insisted.

Ethan had lost himself in her eyes, unaware of the agony that was lingering on Eleanor. And at that moment, Ethan knew that refuse wouldn’t have honored his self-control nor his promise. It would have been cruelty. Conscious cruelty. He couldn’t leave her like that, because he felt how much she needed him. Because he needed her too: the agony was breaking him in two.

He closed the distance and drank the salt from her swollen lips. He wiped the tears from her eyes and gently cupped her cheeks.

"I’m sorry"—He whispered before kissing her lips again.

She closed her eyes, letting herself be carried away by the softness of his lips and the breeze of his words, which were an almost inaudible whisper, but the pain and regret were palpable. He continued his kissing procession all over her face with the same plea for forgiveness. As if with each kiss, as if with each tear he managed to kiss and drink, he could be redeemed from all the pain inflicted.

Eleanor tightened her grip around his waist.

"I love you"—She whispered as she felt kisses on her neck.

Those words were divine forgiveness, the Gates to Paradise. But Ethan knew that he wasn’t worthy of such a concession. Because he had no right to even be in Purgatory. All his actions, all the pain he had inflicted on Eleanor made him worthy of Hell, and even with the intervention of Eleanor, who acted as judge and party, as a messenger between Heaven and Hell, and as the chosen one to grate his forgiveness; he couldn’t accept.

He pulled away from her ruefully and looked her in the eyes. Eleanor deciphered the panic in his eyes before Ethan himself could understand his own feelings. As his hands began to tremble on her neck, he released her and let both hands fall on his sides. She stared, still waiting for some kind of answer, but nothing came out from him. After a few moments, Ethan kissed her forehead, and without any more warning, he left the office.

Eleanor felt like the breath she had taken had been just an illusion, a trap. What she thought it would be a bit of fresh air after been drowning for so long, it turned out to be a mouthful of freezing water entering her lungs, beginning to drown her and deprive her of life. Something had died inside her.

After that, nothing changed. Ethan continued to ignore her, even more than before. Eleanor understood that nothing she did or said would change things. Ethan would keep running away and would keep pushing her out of his life. For the same reason, she decided that she wouldn’t seek him, and wouldn’t try to change his mind. She would act exactly as he was acting. She would pretend he didn’t exist for her.

This dynamic worked well for Eleanor until the day she learned Ethan was joining the WHO to fight a pandemic in the Amazon. Danny had been instructed to update the hospital database to reassign Ethan Ramsey’s cases to other Attendings, due to he’d be away for several weeks. Since Danny didn’t know why he asked Sienna if she knew anything. Sienna, on the contrary, hadn’t even heard that he would be out. This way, she looked for Eleanor to ask her if she knew anything, although part of her knew that there was a high chance Eleanor didn’t, because her friend had chosen to ignore Ethan’s existence in the same way that he had been doing with hers. As soon as she had a moment to talk, she asked her to meet up in their usual place, on the emergency stairs on the fourth floor.

“Hey Ellie, how are you?”

“I’m fine. What’s up?”

“You… have you heard about Ramsey?”

“Heard what?”

Sienna looked both ways, a sad look in her eyes.

"I think Dr. Ramsey is leaving”

"What?"—She replied, confused—"How is he leaving?”

“Danny told me Banerji asked him to reassign all Dr. Ramsey’s cases to the other attendings ‘cause he’ll be gone for a while. Weeks, to be more specific”

“Um, well, no. I have no clue. I haven’t talked to him in weeks, so I find it difficult to manage more information or any information, given that I didn’t know about any of this”

“Well, yes, I supposed so. But I thought you needed to know”

“Thanks, Sienna”

Eleanor was about to return to her patients when Sienna grabbed her softly by the wrist.

“I think you should ask him, Eleanor”

“Oh, yeah, sure, as if he’s going to answer me if I ask”

“But perhaps that way he’ll know you know. And maybe… He will talk to you. To say goodbye at least”

“Nah, he probably will look at me like I’m some kind of alien and then leave like he didn’t listen to me”—Eleanor shook her head—“If he has been keeping this so secretly it’s precisely because he didn’t want me to know”

“Ellie, I’m so sorry … I shouldn’t have told you this…”

“Sienna, you don’t have to apologize for something you are not to blame for. The fault is his, for ignoring me the way he does. And well, mine, for letting him treat me like this all this time”

Eleanor took a breath.

“If I have the chance, I will ask him. If not … well, we’ll have to wait for the rumors to spread through the hospital. If he wanted it that way, it’s because he’s a coward, and I’m tired of chasing cowards”

With that said, both friends returned to the main hallway of the hospital and continued their hectic morning. Eleanor at first wanted to convince herself that she didn’t care, that she wasn’t interested in knowing if he would be out or not, but after a couple of hours, her anxiety, anguish at the thought that she wouldn’t see him again in perhaps how long, came up. She started to convince herself again that he didn’t care about her, because he had no problem in leaving without saying goodbye to her.

She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to locate him, without success. Finally, near the end of her shift, she found him at the Nurses’ Station talking to an elderly patient that Eleanor remembered seeing in the hospital for a couple of days. He had several charts scattered at the front desk while he was giving them one by one to the nurse sitting on the other side.

Eleanor knew that this would be her only chance to chat with him, so she didn’t mind interrupting the conversation he was having with the older man.

“Your recovery is going very well Robert, in a couple of days we will discharge you if you assure us that you will have someone who can take care of your pharmacological treatment”

“Oh, of course, my boy. I spoke to my granddaughter and she said that she would come to take care of me as long as I need to. Don’t worry”

“Very well then”—Ethan smiled at him as he gave the last of the charts to the nurse.

“Go in peace, Dr. Ramsey”—The old man assured

“Dr. Ramsey?”

Ethan frowned, perplexed at the sight of Eleanor speaking to him, looking for him, after spending weeks avoiding him.

“Dr. Bloom”

“I… Would you mind, Mr. Jones?”

“Absolutely, my child, I think we are done, are we, Dr. Ramsey?”

“Yes, we are. Have a nice night, Robert”

Mr. Jones walked away

“What do you need, Eleanor?”

Ethan felt his mouth dry after saying her name, when he had spent weeks just hearing it in his head. His name felt like a sacred elixir poured into his tongue.

“Can we…?” Eleanor pointed to the hallway that led to the emergency stairs. Ethan eyed her suspiciously, but she ignored him. She started to move toward the staircase so Ethan had no choice but to follow her.

“What’s all this mystery, Bloom?”

“Is it true that you’ll be away?

“How do you know that?”

“Just rumors”

Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose murmuring to himself “They have no respect for my privacy”. Then, he added directly to Eleanor:

“It is not your concern”

Eleanor ignored his cutting response.

“So it’s true”

Ethan sighed.

“It is”

“Why are you leaving?”

“If you know that I’m leaving, I suppose you should know why”

“Why the fuck do your think I’m asking you? I just know that you’re leaving because all your cases have been reassigned, but I don’t know why”

“As I said, it’s not your concern, and I don’t have any intentions to let you intrude”

Eleanor’s face disfigured as she felt her eyes begin to burn, tears threatening to come out.

“What did I do to you to be so cruel to me, Ethan?”

“Keep my life private is being cruel to you? I didn’t know you were so egocentric. I don’t owe you any explanations”

His face was impassive. Eleanor’s gaze turned from serious to a charged with rage.

“You’re right, my bad. I think I hallucinated when you said you cared about me”

Eleanor headed for the stairs, but Ethan stopped her, taking her forearm.

“Wait… Eleanor”

Eleanor tried to wriggle out of his grasp

“Please…”

Eleanor stopped just a few stairs up not facing him.

“I’m going to the Amazon with the WHO”

Eleanor turned to him, startled

“What?”

“The WHO asked me to go to the Amazon to fight an outbreak that had been developing for about four weeks there”

“When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow”

Eleanor felt as if someone had stabbed her in the stomach, not once, but a thousand times, each stab burning worse than the last. It was an unbearable physical and soul pain. Ethan watched her face become more disfigured.

“Tomorrow? And you weren’t going to say anything to me… Not even say goodbye?”

“Why should I?

Ethan knew that his response would do her more harm than he had already done, but he couldn’t resist it. It was his way of shielding himself and not apologizing for something he knew had been unfair. Because in all that time he was dying to tell her, but he swore to himself that he wouldn’t, that he would keep the distance between them to not make the farewell more difficult than it could be.

“I…”—Her voice was muffled. She cleared her throat determined to not make a teary, almost childish show again.

“I just thought that after everything we went through together, you would at least have the decency to tell me you were leaving for something so important as this, or I don’t know, since you are my boss, at least you would inform me that you would be away and I couldn’t count on your almost nonexistent support for the rest of the year”—She couldn’t resist the sarcasm as she felt the rage was taking control of her entire body —“But obviously, I was wrong, my mistake in expecting some miserable consideration from you”

“Why do you pretend to care now? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks”

“How bold of you, Ethan”—She replied as she shook her head—“If I’ve been doing this, it’s because I don’t have a choice! It’s the only way I can cope with you doing it. Because I understood that there is no point in waiting for something that you don’t want to happen. But yeah, you’re right. I shouldn’t have asked you anything, after all, we are two strangers who have nothing in common”

Eleanor was hurt, disappointed. He couldn’t believe that Ethan had hidden such important information from her. She knew that he was doing it to avoid his responsibility, because he knew that he should have told her, but he chose to play the insufferable rather than assume his mistake.

"Eleanor …” He approached her when she turned toward the stairs again “You’re right, you have every right to be mad. I didn’t want to…”

“Yes you did, Ethan"—She replied, turning, her eyes still blazing with anger—“Are you really so naive to believe that I don’t know you? You wanted exactly everything you did. If you have ignored me all this time, it’s because you want it, if you didn’t tell me about your trip, it’s because you wanted it that way, consciously. It’s not how things just happened. You know exactly what it means, and how bad it hurts me, but you don’t care”

"Don’t say that … I do care

“Well, it doesn’t seem. Because for you it’s much easier to ignore me and pretend that I don’t exist than to recognize my existence and deal with it. So no, you don’t care about what I feel”

"Eleanor, please … You know it’s not like that, I do care about you … but it’s the only way…”

“Shut up. Shut up, Ethan! I’m tired of your hypocrisy. All that you call “worrying about me” is bullshit. It’s torture. And I’ve gotten tired of the same shit all over again. Go like a coward. You know how to do that very well. It’s your subspecialty”

Eleanor left, infuriated, her face bright with tears. She was hurt and deeply disappointed. But she was also mad at herself. Because she shouldn’t have approached him, she shouldn’t have spoken to him, she shouldn’t have asked for explanations, because she was nobody to ask for them. But she did it anyway because she still refused to see the truth. Because deep inside she hoped things would turn differently, that Ethan would stop pushing her away and he would ask Eleanor for a chance. But now the truth became more palpable and undeniable.

At that moment Eleanor finally understood that there was no going back. If in all this time there were unbreakable walls that were separating them, now there would be thousands of miles doing it so, which could be much more inexorable than the walls themselves. Eleanor knew that she had no option but to let Ethan go for good.

________

Chapter 3.

#bryce x mc #bryce x casey #bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce #ethan ramsey #ethan x f!mc #ethan x casey #ethan x mc #ethan x you #open heart #open heart fanfiction #open heart choices #choices #oh choices #choices stories you play #oh fanfic #fanfic #choices fanfiction

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fmdjaein · 3 years ago

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restructuring task #1: changes (+5 tracker points)

assuming your muse has changed in some way, be it internally or as a result of a change of the external factors around them, how is your muse different? these can be as small as an opinion on a song they hadn’t released previously or as big as a major change in their background. // wc: 575

jaein’s the muse of mine that has gone through the most changes in order to fit her into a new position.

first of all, she’s been aged down a year because of the age range of ultraviolet which also means her siblings have all been aged down a year too. ultimately, this doesn’t change much about herself as she’s still the eldest of four children and from a conservative city, but it is a minor change that’s occurred. her father is not a regular office worker anymore but is instead a non-commissioned officer in the ROK army. her mother’s occupation remains the same but what this brings on is an even more conservative environment for jaein to have grown up in. she’s also a lot more athletic now because of her father’s emphasis on being physically healthy. she’ll take jogs at night in order to get her mind off of things or go biking around the han river if she needs some time to herself. she’s also learned taekwondo starting at a young age and even dipped her feet into archery due to her father’s wishes. the latter never stuck past junior high, but she did get a black belt in taekwondo and is still quite good at it.

the family change also means that instead of wanting to become an idol to prove her parents wrong, jaein instead goes off to college in seoul in order to almost escape her parents. the idol thing just comes along because she joins a busking and dancing club once she starts college. while the past version of jaein was feeling helpless because she feels like she can never prove anything to her parents, this version of jaein will insist that she doesn’t need to prove anything to her parents even though her heart argues otherwise. a lot of her problems become more unconscious and internal as she argues with herself that she’s completely fine with not getting attention from her parents but really, she’s still desiring that.

her position has also changed from being a lead dancer and lead vocal to just a lead vocal. taking a look at her real-life counterparts, i’d say that her overall skill level has probably decreased a tad bit as well. she’s the only member in ultraviolet to not have a main position in anything which makes her now a member who sort of blends into the group well enough to not stick out like a sore thumb but also not good enough to really stand out as a star. she’s more of a regular member and the general public might even think that she’s not really fit to be in a group like ultraviolet. instead, they’d probably see that she fits a group like candy or even some of equinox’s brighter releases like happiness or red flavor.

with the position change and a slight image shift, she won’t be individually pushed as much as she was back when she was with lucid. while she’s still the leader of the group, ultraviolet as a whole has a much different group image and relevancy level since debut so they don’t need her to be a group spokesperson (said changes will also be implemented once past claimed points claims get figured out). however, she still has a public idol image similar to jaein 1.0. she’s expected to be bubbly and enthusiastic and is closer to being a sort of ideal girlfriend image now.

what does your muse think of their company and their group? // wc: 281

she’ll say that the best thing gold star media ever did was debut platinum. that’s a joke. sort of. they are her favorite musical canon group within famed though because she loves easy listening music which a lot of platinum’s music consists of (special shout out to songs like sweet girl, empty, and beautiful pain). other than that, however, she actually doesn’t have a lot of thoughts about her company. at the end of the day, they’re her employer and she just follows whatever they ask her to do. so far, she doesn’t think their treatment of the group has been very bad, and she just hopes it stays decent up until the end of their contract.

ultraviolet doesn’t exactly put out any music that she enjoys. the closest they’ve come is probably as if it’s your last and stay but the heavier, girl crush songs just aren’t her style. she enjoys easy listening music which is like the farthest thing to use when describing her group’s image and sound. the overwhelming amount of success they’ve found both domestically and internationally since their debut is something that jaein’s still trying to get used to. she’s never really been the center of attention and though she’s arguably the least focused on member out of the four, just the overall attention that ultraviolet gets feels like a lot to her. having grown up with her parents telling her that she has to lead by example, it’s become a habit for her as the leader to feel that pressure all on her own (something that hasn’t changed about her though the intensity level is simply lowered because she’s not as important of a member).

is your muse on their first contract or their second? if they’ve renewed, what were their feelings around that at the time and what were their hopes for their second contract? if they haven’t renewed, what are their current thoughts on the end of their eventual first contract? // wc: 293

jaein is currently on her first contract with gold star since she debuted only two years ago. though those two years have felt very long because of the success that came with the group starting from their debut. there’s still quite a lot of time left until ultraviolet will even have to start thinking about contract renewals, but this idol life just doesn’t seem to be it for jaein. it’s not like she ever dreamed of becoming an idol. when she got approached by a casting manager during one of her busking sessions, she didn’t even want to go to the audition. it was mostly the members of the busking club that convinced her to try it out because “there’s no harm in trying” and “you’ll regret not doing it later in your life”. the last thing she even expected was to become a trainee. she never went out to find the idol life; it sort of came to her instead.

however, she thinks by the time that contract renewals do come around for ultraviolet, she’ll most likely not resign. she’s not like some of the other girls where this life is all or nothing. she has a college degree so realistically, she thinks she can live a life once she retires. two years in and she’s already so overwhelmed and exhausted with everything that comes from ultraviolet promotions alone that she can’t imagine doing this for any years beyond the seven that she’s signed up for so far. there will undeniably be a lot of guilt if her not resigning is the cause of a disbandment, and she know fans will be upset (if they’re still relevant to that time, of course), but she simply doesn’t think she can do it anymore.

what are your muse’s goals and motivations? // wc: 266

to get through her career with as little trouble as possible. trouble could come in a lot of forms such as scandals or bad rumors or really bad sasaeng fans, but she sort of just wants a smooth sailing career. that might be hard seeing that ultraviolet is quite literally hot at the moment with their popularity and a bunch of things come along with popularity, but she hopes that she gets to remain sort of hidden in comparison to the other members so she doesn’t have to deal with it as much. at the end of the day, her final goal is probably to retire in peace and go off and live a life where nobody knows where she is. i’ve always hc-ed that she ends up being one of those idols who absolutely disappear once their group disbands and then shows up years later at a member’s wedding, and that’s the only time people hear of them.

her internal motivation in regards to her career come mostly from her virtue of being a responsible person. she doesn’t like letting people down when they’re depending on her, and she hates being a burden to anybody which is why she’s so obedient when it comes to her career. she really doesn’t argue nor does she rebel (could be said it’s a habit of growing up under a father who’s a military man). that doesn’t mean she’s a debby downer or anything because she does know how to live life and have fun, but she also knows how to be a professional when she has to be.

what is one conflict, internal or external, that your muse is currently dealing with, has recently dealt with, or will need to deal with in the future? // tw: misogyny, wc: 255

her biggest conflict is definitely still her family. as much as jaein wants to deny that they have influence on her (she claims that she’s been out of their reaches since she started college in seoul), that doesn’t make the years she spent growing up beneath them disappear. her habits and thoughts and burdens that she continues to feel all come from the grasp her family has on her. she’s always been raised to be responsible and caring for those around her as she has to lead by example, and that still remains true even if she isn’t living with her family. the leader position she got definitely doesn’t help any of that disappear. similar to jaein 1.0, she has a good relationship with her younger sister since jaeeun’s gone through similar things as the other female sibling. however, she’s still a little awkward when it comes to her younger brothers as they’ve been spoiled out of their minds. she tries not to blame them but the resentment remains.

there’s a lot of denying and hiding of feelings when it comes to jaein and her family. she tries to escape it, but she’s the epitome of old habits die hard because she’s still living like she lived back in daegu with the way she acts. she’s learned to have some fun and actually live life as someone other than the ryu’s eldest daughter ever since she entered college, but the habits are still there. the thoughts that keep her awake at night are still there.

if your muse has established career claims, what are their thoughts on their career so far? if they do not, how do they feel about not having individual activities yet? what would they like to do in the future, if anything? if they don’t have ambitions for individual activities, explain why. // wc: 252

currently, the only established career claims jaein has are in modeling and music. she only has one ost for record of youth that was given to her almost suddenly. even as a lead vocalist, she’s not the world’s most skilled singer, but she enjoyed the opportunity. she’s not expecting to become some known ost singer or anything, however, and she doesn’t think gold star is leaning on that either when it comes to jaein.

her modeling claims include a year brand ambassador claim and a single magazine cover. since all of ultraviolet are pretty girls and their group itself has name value, modeling is a pretty straightforward career choice for jaein. with her image, she gets a lot of offers for beauty products mostly such as skincare or makeup. there’s a sort of clean and bubbly image tied in with jaein that becomes evident in her brand offers and shoots as well. she gets to do the whole badass, girl cruch concept with her group members but when she’s all on her own, she gets things that don’t look like they’re in line with ultraviolet’s concept.

jaein doesn’t need individual activities. she’s pretty satisfied with what she’s been given so far, and she’s okay with being the member that’s sort of left behind when it comes to a group as big as ultraviolet because that still means she’s getting something. she understands she’s not the most eye-catching member so it makes sense that she doesn’t get as many opportunities as her members.

#famedrstask1 #( ✦ . ˚ — headcanon. )

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tsipasce · 4 years ago

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Same Difference, Ch.09

A/N: FYI, this part gets a bit violent. No domestic abuse or anything like that, just a good ol’ fashioned fight scene. Anybutts, hope y'all enjoy~

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08

AO3 | Fanfic

Nanami began walking down the now-familiar, winding hallways from her tea break to return to the lab. She wasn’t ready to examine the feelings she’d had after her spat with Overhaul, especially the ones that caused her such sadness at the thought of not seeing him again. In the back of her mind, she knew whatever she was feeling could simply be the result of successful manipulation on his part, but it didn’t change the relief she felt knowing they’d continue working together. Hoping to push away the thoughts before facing him again, she decided to focus on her efforts to find a suitable class for self-defense. Sure, Hitomi had a point in that it would at the very least be a confidence booster, but Nanami felt like she needed more.

I know Kurono said it was a cheap shot in a 1 vs. 30 battle royale, but still. * BANG* If Overhaul, ~*killer extraordinaire*~ can get injured like that, * BANG* I might as well be a sitting duck. Nanami concluded, remembering that she had involved herself in a world much more dangerous than she wanted to acknowledge. But where in the world am I gonna find * BANG* a class that’ll * BANG, BANG* teach me how to survive a fight to * BANG* the * BANG, BANG* death? * BANG, BANG, BANG* Ok, what the hell is making all that noise? Nanami thought now annoyed at whatever had been interrupting her train of thought.

Following the sound, she found the source of the noise: a very large man beating a block of concrete in the training room as though his life depended on it. She watched for a moment in amazement as his fists covered in heavy, metal gauntlets wore down one block of concrete after the next, ignoring the traditional workout equipment. He stopped for a beat, sensing her watching him from the doorway.

“Hey, doc. What brings you here?”

“Hi Rappa, it’s nothing, just heard a lot of commotion and wanted to make sure everything was alright. Don’t mind me!”

Shrugging, he continued training, now moving to weightlifting. Man, this is nothing like the classes I sat in on. I wonder what kind of training you’d have to get to be this proficient… I wish I could… Oh, duh. Nanami thought at the epiphany.

“Hey, Rappa, can I ask you a question?” Nanami asked, with a plan already in mind.

“Who’s gonna stop you?”

“True. Have you ever tried teaching anyone?”

“A couple times, but most don’t last too long. They lack the warrior spirit.”

“So… if someone did have this ‘warrior spirit’, you’d consider taking them on, right?”

“It would be a dream come true, to trade blows with another man, hellbent on victory! They’d have to prove their mettle, but nothing would bring me more joy!” He exclaimed and she could tell he was already daydreaming about the next fight.

“Well, what if there was a person that was hellbent on victory and had a true warrior spirit... but they were a woman. Would you train them?”

“Impossible.” He responded immediately.

“What makes you say that?” Nanami queried, a bit miffed at how sure of his answer he was.

“They don’t have it in their nature. Besides, we yakuza have a code of chivalry. I could never fight a broad.”

“Even if said broad could kick your ass?” Now she was pissed.

He laughed heartily, “The day I meet a woman like that, will be the same day Mimic can keep his mouth shut for more than 5 seconds. Or when hell freezes over, whichever comes first.”

“Well get ready for 5 seconds of bliss and Satan in some long johns because that woman is here.” Nanami said with a renewed sense of resolve.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’ll talk to you later, Rappa.”

“Uh… Ok, see ya later, doc.”

On the remainder of the walk back, Nanami practiced her proposal in her head. She knew it might be a hard sell, but she was determined. Bursting through the door, she saw Overhaul focused on his laptop, going through some data sheets. Aw, he looks so peaceful—no, snap out of it. Back on task. Nanami chastised herself, though she was happy knowing she’d be able to see him like this regularly since they’d done their version of making up earlier. Focusing on the task at hand, she spoke confidently,” Overhaul, I need to borrow one of your bullets.”

“Who do you need taken care of?” he turned to her, a serious look in his eyes.

“Wait what?”

“What?”

They exchanged looks of equal confusion, before realizing what the other meant. “Oh no, no, no—I don’t need anyone ‘taken care of’, I want to take care of them myself—but not like that…”

“It would be clearer if you referred to them as the Eight Bullets or Eight Precepts of Death in the future.”

“Oh, yeah that sounds way cooler.” She stated matter-of-factly.

“Tch. Of course, it does.” He said turning and she could tell he was grateful in his own way of the compliment. “What do you need them for?”

“I don’t need all of them, just Rappa. And I want... no, I need him to train me.”

“Why do you need him to train you? It’s you and I who share the same quirk…” He trailed off at the last part.

“Oh, don’t be jealous, it’s just that I... I want to learn hand-to hand combat. I want to protect myself. I need to. You were right earlier when you said I’ve entered a world that prioritizes violence. It’s not that I want to prioritize it myself, but I know it would be naïve of me to be unprepared.” She replied resolutely.

“Of course, I was right.”

“That’s what you got from that?”

“However, I fail to see how this benefits me. Technically speaking, you have yet to rectify the power imbalance between us; you being able to completely negate my attacks is… problematic. Making you stronger would border on foolishness on my part.”

“So, you plan on attacking me in the future?”

“No, but the point still stands and the question remains: what do I have to gain from this?”

Nanami’s resolve did not waiver. She had the answer to this one, “An ally.”

His eyes narrowed at her, almost cautioning her to use her words wisely, but he continued to listen, pushing his laptop to the side. “Go on.”

“I wouldn’t serve you or be an accomplice, nor conspirator to any crimes. However, I will not plot against you, attack you without proper provocation, and if you’re in a bind like tonight, I will be there. In addition to this… I’ll tell you how I was able to negate your attack. It’s still a working theory, but I’d be willing to share and practice it with you until it’s fully proven. I can teach you, but only after Rappa has trained me and you teach me a defensive move using Overhaul. This way, we will be equal, for the most part.”

He stared at her searchingly, considering her proposal. After letting her squirm for a bit in suspense, he responded,” It cannot interfere with our organization’s daily dealings or our work in the lab.”

“Of course.”

“Then it’s a deal.”

“Also, could you talk to Rappa for me? You know the whole chivalry thing…” She trailed off hoping he would catch her drift.

“You’re just full of requests today.” He said, slightly annoyed as she raised her brows waiting for an answer, “He will comply. You may have to prove yourself, but he will comply.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was decided that Nanami would be tested by Rappa a week from the day. If she wasn’t sure about the nature of the test, it was certainly made clear when Rappa explained in a way only he could:

“I’ll take it easy since you’re a woman. If you can make me surrender, I’ll teach you.”

Such a generous soul~ Nanami mused to herself after pushing through the fourth lap. She didn’t expect to become a prize fighter in a week, but not getting winded just by going up the stairs at work was a good start. She’d kept somewhat in shape and had grown up doing club sports in school, but nothing she could think of that would constitute a “warrior spirit”. Looks like we’re gonna have to get creative with this…

Checking her watch, she realized she had just enough time to make an important call before her next appointment. “Hey Miki, how’ve you been?... That’s awesome, I’m doing alright myself… Hm? No, no we’re still on for dinner Thursday, I just had a favor to ask… Could I join you for some freerunning this week?... Nevermind why I’m breathing so heavy! Can I come? ...Thank you, Thank you, Thank you—I’ll see you at the station by your place. Bye!” The phone clicked.

She wouldn’t become a master in a week—maybe not even an intermediate level fighter—but at least she could have a sliver of a chance at winning Rappa over. With her plan coming together, she pushed for another lap, a little more confidence in her step than before.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A week came and went, now Nanami stood in front of her closet, unsure of what to wear.

“What do you usually wear to a fight anyway…” She pondered, remembering what every fighting person she knew wore on a regular basis. Rappa wore jeans and a t-shirt, “If I can’t sleep in jeans, how the hell am I supposed to fight in them? Next.” Overhaul wore business attire, “The man’s an enigma, not even realistic to compare wardrobe choices there…Wait.” Nanami had an epiphany. Her fighting style, if she could call it that yet, wasn’t much like either of theirs from what she knew. Deciding it would be smartest to wear what she’d been training in that week of preparation, she got changed and hurried over.

Rushing her park job, she sat in her car for a beat, trying to catch her breath. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been a nervous wreck anticipating her “trial by fire” today. Even with a plan, it would be hard to predict how she’d react in the moment when her safety was on the line. After rejecting her quirk and consequently, her body, for such a long time, it seemed like an impossible task to lean on it completely, to trust it, but what choice do I have? Nanami asked herself with equal measures of resignation and resolve. Deciding it was do or di—nope, gotta use a better phrase. We are not speaking the possibility of death into existence. Not today. Deciding it was now or never, Nanami took a deep breath, centering herself as she worked up the nerve to exit her car and march to the base and down to the training room.

Stopping in front of the entrance, she exhaled deeply once again, pushing the large door open. Upon opening it, she saw Rappa rotating his shoulders and stretching his arms. She gulped heavily, remembering his quirk, Strongarm, would soon be used on her. Focusing on her opponent, she hadn’t noticed someone else standing in the corner by the door.

“If you focus any harder, you’ll pop a blood vessel.” Said a familiar voice, startling her from her thoughts.

She put a hand to her chest, trying to calm down, “Oh my gosh you scared the shit out of me… and leave me alone. Everyone has their own way of preparing, I’m just… figuring mine out.”

“That and your sparring attire.” Overhaul responded too quickly for her liking, giving her a once over.

Defensively pulling her tracksuit closed, she gave him a look,” Did you come to roast me or root for me?”

“Neither. I am merely here to supervise. Whether you win or not is none of my concern.”

“Aaaand this is why I didn’t ask you to train me. If you need me, I’ll be stretching over there, ref.”

Nanami rolled her eyes, making her way to what she figured would be her side of the arena. The training room was large with two sections; one part took up a third of the room, hosting a myriad of traditional gym equipment and weights. The other part which was the arena, took up the remaining two thirds and was outlined on the floor in white with room on the sidelines for observers …and sassy referees. Nanami thought, remembering his dig from earlier.

Removing her tracksuit, she donned black leggings and a matching, sleeveless workout top. It was sleek and formfitting, maximizing her range of mobility. After she completed a couple toe touches, lunges and back stretches, Rappa took a step forward into the ring, “Alright, you know the rules! I’m making it easy on you by only asking for a surrender, but I won’t hold back.”

“I wouldn’t want you too. Let’s do this.” Nanami said, her game face on and her voice confident in an effort to override the doubts she had in her head.

“Now that’s the spirit! Come at me, doc!”

Getting into a stance, Nanami made a B-line towards Rappa, sprinting at full speed. He braced himself in a defensive stance, ready to attack when she came within striking distance. He was wearing his mask, but she could feel how serious the mood of the room had gotten. Just stick to the plan, it’ll all be ok, she said, steeling herself from further doubt. Focusing, she saw the second he was readying himself to take his first swing. Just then, she slid and dodged, slapping her hand firmly on the ground as she slid, sending a ripple in the direction she was headed, a pillar forming. She then slid past the new structure, extended her arms, and grabbed onto the pillar to swing herself back in his direction at full force. Keeping both her feet together she surprised him, landing a solid kick to the face. She followed through as he staggered, and she landed, rolling to minimize the impact. Before she could appreciate the look of surprise on Overhaul’s face, Rappa had recovered. Her refresher course on parkour with Miki had paid off and she had a few tricks up her sleeve.

“Now that was good. Give me more!” He exclaimed, punching the ground, barely missing her head as she dodged. Nanami had been fast, but Rappa was much more agile than he looked. She’d done some research on his quirk, but no amount of reading could have prepared her for the reality of it. Though it probably wouldn’t have seemed threatening if it had belonged to someone else, it suited him perfectly. He didn’t just have a quirk, he had a set of skills and used it to amplify them. Even without the added power, he was a force to be reckoned with.

Before she had the chance to think too much, he struck again and again, dodging becoming more difficult with each blow. Deciding to act, she erected more pillars.

“Putting up a wall for protection won’t gain you a surrender—come and fight me!” He warned, charging towards her.

“Who said these were for my protection?” Nanami responded as she ran. She launched herself to gain enough momentum, bouncing between the pillars, she managed to land a punch to his side, just beneath his ribs, earning her a grunt. Now more confident, she went in for a second attack, this time she was going to aim for his chin, hoping to knock him out. In this movement, her lack of combat training caused her to make a grave error: she was wide open. By the time she saw Rappa winding up for an uppercut, it was too late to react. He landed a solid blow to her abdomen before grabbing her like a ragdoll, tossing her clear across the room and into the wall on the opposite side of the arena. Her back hit the wall with a thud, and she gasped for air as the wind was knocked out of her. She was certain she’d broken a rib or two. She fell on all fours, heaving as she grasped at the broken parts of her rib cage. She coughed up blood, accepting the consequences of being hit in real combat. When she expelled more of the red liquid from her mouth, she could’ve sworn she saw Overhaul reflexively lunge towards her. Without thinking she raised a hand motioning him to stop whatever he planned on doing, the other still clutching her side. Looking over to him, her expression must have relayed her determination. He took a step back, his face expressionless once again.

Reaching under her shirt to the affected area, she felt for a moment and healed herself, the sound of bones cracking back into place echoing throughout the room. She rose again, steadying herself as she took up her stance once again, “I’m not done yet.” Nanami gritted.

His mask was now ripped from her previous blows she could see a large smile forming. “Now that’s the look I want to see. IF YOU WANT VICTORY, COME AND TAKE IT WITH YOUR FISTS!”

Nanami charged forward, landing some solid blows as using her ability to manipulate the arena to her advantage. Though she’d used her quirk on their surroundings, she’d yet to use it on her opponent directly. Deep down, she was still too afraid to use it in that way. The only “fight” she’d ever used it against someone was when Overhaul and her first met, but really it was just a means to escape. Even in the face of danger, she found herself more afraid of losing control like she had all those years ago. As she hesitated, Rappa landed another solid blow, this time to her shoulder, dislocating it. She managed to stifle a scream of pain, but she knew this was bad. Before she had time to heal, he was charging towards her once again. She had enough mobility to dodge some of his blows, but not all of them. She couldn’t heal herself quickly enough to keep up with his attacks. He landed another to her ribs, a fist to her back and a knee to her abdomen. Rappa was enjoying himself and she was becoming less and less sure that he remembered this was a duel to a surrender and not to the death.

Completely forgetting where she was in her panic, an immense sense of danger crashed over her, the adrenaline taking over giving her tunnel vision. Judging by how he wound up, the next blow could have certainly killed her. She braced for impact, no longer thinking strategy and then… nothing. All she felt was the gust of wind that came from his fist stopping near her face and his breath on the back of her hand. Focusing her vision, she realized she had her finger pointed, mere inches from his neck and Rappa was frozen in his place, careful not to even clear his throat. Nanami hadn’t realized it, but her eyes were almost black and her face that of a cornered animal. She would have obliterated him had he not stopped short, an experience he wasn’t quick to relive a sixth time.

A smile slowly crept back across his face and Nanami was snapped out of her trance by the sound of jovial laughter. “I surrender, doc. THAT WAS GREAT! The look on your face right now, it’s perfect! I’ll see ya Thursday for training.” He boomed before shaking her hand that was aimed to kill him mere seconds ago. “I gotta make my rounds, but I’m looking forward to working with ya, doc. You’re one tough broad!” He said as he continued laughing to himself, exiting the room.

This whole place is just a dozen different flavors of crazy… I almost killed him, Nanami thought to herself, happy to have passed his trial, but terrified at the possibility of repeating “the incident”. Losing control scared her more than anything, but deep down she knew in order to master her quirk, she would have to take the risk and use it first. One step at a time, Nanami reassured herself, quelling the effects of the traumatic memories. In reality, she knew whatever training he could give her would far surpass any of the self-defense classes she was going to settle for before. She wasn’t just going to be confident; she was going to be prepared. Just as she was riding the waves of her victory, the adrenaline began to wear off and the pain came washed over her like a tsunami. It left her breathless for a moment and all she wanted was to cry out but couldn’t as she felt one of her ribs pushing into her lung. Now laying on her back, she focused on moving the arm that wasn’t dislocated to her side, repairing her ribs and internal organs.

As she sat up to kneel on the floor and heal her shoulder, she heard footsteps coming towards her. “You’re going to have to get quicker at recovering if you plan on standing a chance the next time.” He said, looking down at her exhausted form still seated on the floor.

“I know.” Nanami sighed, reflecting on her sluggish reflexes with a bit of disappointment.

He stood in place, examining her for a beat. Suddenly something white entered her line of sight. Lifting her gaze, she saw his gloved hand extended to help her up, though his face was turned away. Quickly brushing off her surprise at his gesture, she patted her palms on her sides, before clasping his hand. He lifted her up with ease, and had she not already tempted death once today, she would have jokingly asked for a piggyback ride. Now standing close, their hands remained clasped between them longer than she expected. Craning her neck to make eye contact, she could tell he was thinking, his gaze unwavering with an emotion she couldn’t name. Just as she was about to get lost in those golden eyes, he spoke “You smell terrible.”

Ah. The ~emotion~ was in fact just stank face. Should’ve known he’d say something like that... She thought as her face dropped into one of exasperation.

“That, my very rude friend, is the smell of victory, so take a big whiff.” She retorted, moving past him, flipping her hair as she sashayed over to her bag to collect her things.

“Still wreaks… however, your performance was impressive, for an amateur.” The last part added as though it would break the very laws of nature itself to award a compliment without a catch. “See you tomorrow.” He remarked, leaving the room.

Her back was still turned as she zipped her bag, trying her best to hide the small smile that rested on her now proud face. “See you tomorrow.”

#overhaul #overhaul x oc #overhaul fanfiction #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #shie hassaikai #kendo rappa #bnha fanfic #mha oc #mha overhaul #mha fanfic #overhaul fanfic

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pastelbatfandoms · 4 years ago

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Renee West and Nash Wells tarot readings

(Using My Gods and Titans Oracle Deck) Possibilities Spread ..................8............. ..................7............. .....6-C1.............6-C1... 4-C1...5-C1.....5-C2...4-C2 ...................3.................... .....1-C1.............1-C2...

This spread is a double spread. It is where each will take you next in your book. Each side will be for the character you designate it for. Myself, I would use the left for the female and the right for the male. 1-C1. Significator Card for Character One (C1)- Helios (Cycles) 1-C2. Significator Card for Character Two (C2)- Persephone (Cycles) 3. Situation: This card will reveal the situation they are about to face.- Thoth (Wisdom) & Sheela Na Gig (Gateways) 4. Character's outer response to situation. This is how they seem to feel about it.- Renee- Athena (Strategy) & Isis (shadow) & Nash-Cernunnos (Shadow) & Ah Puch (Fear) 5. Character's inner response to situation. This is how they feel about it or how it makes them feel. -Renee- Andromache (Shadow) & Nash- Anubis (protection) 6. Character's response to the other character's outer response. How does his reaction affect her? How does hers affect him? Nash's Reaction- Ares (Shadow) & Ull (Focus) Renee's reaction- The Muses (Shadow) & Freya (Irresistibility) 7. Where does this move the plot?- Oya (Shadow) & Baiame (Shadow) 8. Situation: This card will reveal the situation they are about to face. (if you want to use this to plot the book out, you simply repeat the layout.)"- Typhon (Anger) & White Buffalo maiden (Shadow)

Using my Haunted House Deck and Throne of Glass playing cards.

Relationship Spread ********7***********8******** ****1***2***3***4***5***6**** ********9***********10******* ********11**********12******* ********13****15****14*******

1) What you are bringing into the relationship- Nash- Ace of Cups (New Love, Beginnings, contentment, committed.) 2) Where you are now, in relation to the other person- 8 of Swords (Fearful of being open,vulnerable,scared of hurting her or being hurt) 3) What you are hoping to get from the relationship- 9 of Swords (The past catching up to him but Renee not judging him for it, maybe helping him out of his grief and negativity.) 4) What the other person is bringing into their relationship with you- Renee- 6 of Swords (Letting go of their past as well, overcoming difficulties and healing together) 5) What they are getting out of it- The Fool (Excitement, Adventure,an unconvential romance.) 6) What they are hoping to achieve/experience with you- King of Wands (Someone who is sexy,bold and adventurous, someone who she can go on spontaneous road trips with and not have to take life too seriously,but also a mentor who is forthright and optimistic,looking towards the future) 7) How you see the other person- Ace of Pentacles (Financially secure,reliable,his rock,someone who Nash can depend on and have a lasting relationship with.) 8) How they see you- Knight of Wands (Fearless but also impulsive and rash with a temper and ego. A rebel and visionary with an eye for new technology ,hands on always the first to volunteer for a dangerous mission. The Indiana Jones type.) 9) How you saw him/her when you first met- The Sun (Awww. Pretty self explantory, although he tried his best to hide it.) 10) How the other person saw you on your first meeting- 8 of Cups (Honestly I feel like,other than being angry,she didn’t really see him at all,she was too lost in her own head,pretty much gave up on love and was emotionally drained...hate to say,unless I change the canon,that doesn’t really change or it returns later.) 11) Your own anxieties/unconscious fears- 2 of Pentacles R (Financial loss) 12) The other person's anxieties/unconscious fears- 2 of Wands (Not being happy with her current situation, wanting an adventure,something new,not wanting to always stay just for the team.) 13) External influences upon you- 7 of Swords (Someone who is daring and takes risks or someone who is playing mind games,being deceitful and sneaky but they can beat the enemy at their own game.) 14) External influences upon the other person- 8 of Swords (Again fear of being hurt) 15) Where the relationship will go- King of Cups R with Ace of Pentacles (No it won’t be easy,they both need a lot of understanding for it to work but focusing on the few positive traits of the KOC R,they can be sentimental, and Renee will need to forgive Nash for his hand in crisis as Pariah. After all the turmoil will bring a solid stable relationship.) Numerology Number-8 (Balance and renewed energy)

The X Appeal Spread *********** **1****10** ***2***9*** ****3/8**** ***7***4*** **6*****5** ***********

1.) Physical features about you that they find attractive- 5 of Swords R 2.) Emotional/personality features about you that they find attractive- Queenof Wands (Passion,Ambition,stands up for herself) 3.) What you have that they want or find sexy- The Heirophant (her commitment,intelligence & confidence) 4.) What you need to work on to become more attractive to them- Knight of Wands (More Adventerous,willing to travel,passionate,impulsive) 5.) Your overall sex appeal (how attractive you are to them)- Eight of Cups (Deeply,girl next door,so i would say more attracted to Renee as herself then her Alter ego) 6.) Their overall sex appeal (how attractive they are to you)- Knight of Wands (Exciting,Adventerous,Thrilling) 7.) What they need to work on to become more attractive to you- Wheel of Fortune (Go with the flow but also to slow down and not let the relationship burn out) 8.) What they have that you want or find sexy- 4j of Wands R (How he looks but doesn't care much about appearences,his loner personality)j 9.) Emotional/personality features that you find attractive about them- Judgement (his assertivness,excellent judge of character,open minded and magnetic) 10.) Physical features that you find attractive about them- 2 of wands ( his disheveled wild appearence,his personality shines through) Number= 9 (insight,a new journey,spiritual not material growth)

Lust Spread (Using the Sex magic deck and The Gods and Titans Deck)

------3---------------------- ----------4------------------ -------------6---8---10----- 11------------------------12- ------1---2--5---7----9------

1. What I need/want from him sexually- Two of Pentacles (Ignite passion,commitment) & Osiris (Renewel,something newer then she's had) 2. What our sexual relationship means/represents to me- Gaia Shadow (balence,shedding her destructive behavior for something peaceful and creative) & 4 of Pentacles (loving,giving,affectionate,reserved at first) 3. What he needs/wants from me sexually- Yemaya (Hope & Fertility) & Justice (Beauty,Charm,loving,a romantic at heart) 4. What our sexual relationship means/represents to him- Anubis (Protection,letting go of fears) & King of wands (Dominant,kinky,open,confident,giving,emotional & spritual as well as physical) 5. My insecurities- Oya & 10 of pentacles R 6. His insecurities- Eros-Love & two of cups R 7. What turns me on most about him- Achilles & 4 of cups 8. What turns him on most about me- Bridgid & Temperance R 9. What I can do to enhance our connection- Lilith & Knight of Cups 10. What he can do to enhance our connection- Prometheus & page of cups 11. The sexual energy we create together- Knight of Pentacles (Safe,I doubt it would be boring though) 12. Our future together sexually- King of Pentacles (Luxury,confidence,lots of Oral,maybe a Food fixation,whipped cream anyone?) Gratification Number= 8 (Balance,Rythm,renewed energy)

#nash wells #tarot character readings #My OC

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verycivilofyou · 6 years ago

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two, feeling petty toward the cia: ah, time to create some minor paradoxes, i should think!

#but just wait until he and ace team up #◯ I DON’T LIKE IT. ( ooc. )#◯ LIFE DEPENDS ON CHANGE AND RENEWAL. ( muse. )#thread chatter /

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targaryenimagines · 5 years ago

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Fractured

Daenerys Targaryen x Fem!Lannister!Reader

Word Count: 2,641

Summary: You have known for some time that Westeros was in dire need of help. You just didn't know how soon that need for help would arrive. Or how catastrophic the circumstances would be to cause it.

Warnings: None that I can think of. (Brief mention of suicide.)

Note: This is just the introductory chapter so that you all can get familiar with the story.

Tagged: @schroedingershund

You had been born amongst fine silks and jewelry. Everything you could ever want just a few words away. The entire world at your fingertips if you wished to grasp it. Being the eldest of the Lannister children was a blessing and a curse. While you were able to do just about anything you could ever desire it was always with a catch.

If you wanted to go to the marketplace of King's Landing you had to have at least five guards with you.

If you wanted to lay in bed for a little bit longer you had to make up the time, and then some, in your studies.

You know you could be in a worse situation than the one you were in, but a cage is still a cage no matter how pretty it was decorated. The Red Keep with its walls of stone and whispered secrets was just that.

A gilded cage that many wished to be in. A deadly trap that lured you in with the promise of wealth and power, but came at the price of never being able to escape it. A fact that only bore down on you with each year that passed.

You were the trademark Lannister female. Long, wavy, golden hair that was never out of place. Glowing green eyes the color of the first blade of grass in spring. Your perfect porcelain skin without a blemish or any other mark that could hinder it. You moved with the grace and elegance of a lioness. The only thing that made you different was your smile. When you smile it didn't come with a hidden message of deceit. It wasn't a hunters smile that adorned your face. It was an open and honest smile that spoke of nothing but warmth and care.

You were the golden lion amongst black. Your family, although kind on the outside, were no better than anyone else. Their smiles showing only what they wanted people to see, and not what truly went on in their minds. Something that you detested with every fiber of your being. You hated the lies and treachery that seemed to surround the Iron Throne and the game that came with it. At times you wished that you weren't the heir and that the damned throne would be destroyed.

You had dreams of waking up and finding out that the throne had been destroyed. That it's dark affliction upon the land had finally been relinquished. That you would finally be in a place where everyone's true motivation wasn’t to get the throne.

However, your deepest and darkest desire was the one that haunted your dreams and waking mind. It was a desire that would get you hanged or exiled. A wish that would cause everyone you love to turn against you.

It was the hope that one day a Targaryen would take back the throne. That once again the house that was supposed to sit on the throne would return. Maybe that's why such discourse has fallen over Westeros? The balance of power shifted too much for the land to handle. For only a Targaryen could ever, truly, claim Westeros and all its people. After all the Targaryen's were the ones to bring Westeros together in the first place, and without them it was falling apart.

A fact that only became more apparent the longer they were gone.

Despite this want you still loved your family. You cared for your mother and father greatly. You cared for your siblings and uncles, but that love was only rivaled by the love you have for your people. The people that, at birth, you were sworn to protect. You didn't even want to think of the reality of them being in the hands of someone else.

Someone like Joffrey, you muse as you watch your younger brother across the hall. His green eyes glowing with faux charm and warmth, but his smirk giving it away. A sight that caused chills to run down your spine. You did care for your brother but you couldn't say that you loved him. Nor could you say that you would ever be able to put up with his presence for long. His attitude and overall approach to life unnerved you, and you hope that he will grow out of it. You've seen what happens to the type of men Joffrey was becoming and you didn't want that to befall him.

Turning your gaze you scan the hall for your other two siblings. Finally finding familiar golden hair near your mother and uncle. You could see Myrcella and Tommen sitting close to your mother's side. Neither liking to be too far away from her when in public. If they were older you would assume that it was just to show a front for all that saw them. Showing everyone that the Lannister family was a united entity and nothing could make them fall. However, you know that your younger siblings simply wanted the comfort a mother could provide.

The thought of your mother prompts you to level your gaze to her. You watch as she allows a slow smile to take over her lips as she brings her goblet to her lips. You watch as your uncle and her seem to have silent conversations with their eyes. A sight that only hammers in the suspicions you've had for quite a long time. It was a sight that brought your world into a sharper focus but destroyed it at the same time. Before you could make yourself even more uneasy by the thought a gruff voice speaks from beside you.

"Now why is my favorite niece hiding herself away like a recluse?" Tyrion Lannister asks, his quizzical gaze leveled at you. Despite the height difference your uncle always knew how to command a conversation. His mere presence made up for what he lacked in his vertical impairment.

A small smile works its way onto your lips as you speak. Your eyes starting to shine with warmth at the sight of your favorite relative. "Maybe I want to be more like you, uncle. After all the recluse life style does seem to be your forte."

His deep laughter is all you get as a reply for some time. Its timbre and resonance reminding you of a lion’s roar. Deep and forceful with its presence but having a place in your heart that would never leave you. You simply watch as your uncle clutches at his sides and tears of joy run down his cheeks. It was a sight that caused your small smile to grow into a grin. Happy that you were able to make the normally silent man lose all countenance of control. It was a sight that brought renewed hope into your heart. That maybe a person’s feelings or outward mask could be shifted. That with enough care and cultivation even the most weathered stone could be shifted. That not everything was predetermined and people could actually make their own choices based off of what they wanted.

However, like always, your hope dwindles until it completely disappears in your chest. It was foolish to believe that the people so set in their ways could ever change. No one truly cared about peace and prosperity in Westeros. No one cared about the health and livelihood of commoners. No one cared about the people who couldn’t arrive in a horse drawn carriage with an armada of guards escorting them. All anyone cared about was who had the most power in the room, and how to take it. It was the sickly sweet game that has surrounded you your entire life. It was a game that would never have any winners, because any person that fell for its trap would end up losing. Whether it be with their life or what they held most dear, they would lose it all the same.

For no one ever, truly, won the game of thrones.

No one but the Targaryen’s, your mind whispers darkly to you as your eyes once again sweep across the hall. As if it was aware of how serious your thoughts were, and paranoid that someone would be able to tell what you were thinking by just looking at you. If anything the game has taught you one simple rule about life. Trust no one.

You could feel your uncles gaze on you but you don’t turn to meet it. You simply bask in the simple pleasure that his presence gave you, and he seems to understand. For he doesn’t open his mouth or try to get your attention again. He simply stands by your side and observes the room with you.

Both of you a prisoner in a gilded cage that was the Red Keep. As well as reluctant players of the game because of the name you carried. Neither of you knowing how to escape the fate you were given without suffering the consequences.

For when you play the game you either win or you die.

_________________

“Mother I’m fine,” you say with exasperation in your tone as you, once again, nudge your mother’s fussing hands away from your hair. Your annoyance clearly showing on your face by her continued persistence to mess with it.

Grasping your hands your mother begins to speak, her voice low. Only loud enough for you to hear it. “Must you be so difficult? I want you to be on your best behavior tonight and that includes the way you look. So, please, don’t embarrass me or your father tonight.”

A beat of silence passes before you respond.

“I would never dream of it, mother.”

You hope that your voice sounds more genuine then you feel as you respond. Trying with all your might to not roll your eyes at her. Knowing the exact reaction that it would cause if you did. Finally, after a moment of staring at you she turns away and starts fussing over Myrcella. Who readily accepts her mother’s help, not that you were expecting anything else from your younger sister.

It seems that while you were mainly independent when it came to your parents your younger siblings were completely dependent on them. Which, also, caused them to be closer to your parents by a significant amount. Not that there was anything that could be done about that. You were never one for allowing someone to fawn over you. You hated the thought with a burning passion that rivaled the sun. Glancing towards Joffrey you could tell that you were polar opposites in that regard. You could see the annoyance starting to grow in his gaze. Obviously hating the fact that mother was taking too long in returning her attention to him. A sight that caused the familiar queasy feeling all over again.

With a small, almost indecipherable, sigh you turn your gaze to the moving landscape outside of your carriage. You had always enjoyed visiting the North with it’s beautiful fields and mountainous landscapes. The crisp, cool air soothing you in a way you didn’t even know how to describe. You know that your siblings detested cold weather and that they would much rather stay in the South, but you hated how stifling it could get at times.

Just another thing that separated your from them, you suppose.

You had never visited Winterfell before but by the stories you were told, and the paintings you have seen, you know that it will be beyond beautiful. A castle the reflected the ways of the land perfectly. Stationary, immovable and being able to survive any amount of time. It was hardy just like the people and you were excited to finally see it up close. Though by what you could see out of your peripheral vision you were the only one. Tommen was wrapped up tightly in his cloak, his small frame shaking from the frigid air. Myrcella was having her hair brushed by mother and Joffrey had his arms crossed petulantly while he stared out the window. Even though you could tell he wasn’t actually staring at anything. He was more than likely just waiting for mother to realize something was amiss and ask him about it.

You had to resist the urge of rolling your eyes again. For Joffrey would make your life a living hell if he caught it. Something you didn’t you had the energy to deal with at the moment. Not that you ever had the energy to deal with Joffrey in the first place.

Closing your eyes you lean your head against the cool pane of glass beside you. Wishing more than anything that you could be out of the hell hole that was this carriage. No matter how much you may love your family there was only so much you can take of them. What made matters even worse was the fact that Tyrion wasn’t able to ride with you. A fact that saddened you to no end, and when you offered to ride with him your mother had vehemently denied it. Something that you were still upset about even after this long. You don’t know what you would be talking about with your uncle, but it would be a hell of a lot better than the oppressive silence that was this carriage.

You would be lying if you said the thought hadn’t crossed your mind about leaping out.

You refrain, however, after all you did promise your mother to not embarrass her, and a suicide attempt would do just that. You were always one to keep your promises, someone had to in Westeros. Common tongue may be the language in which people of Westeros spoke, but lies are what truly connected everyone. More so than any amount of blood in a person’s body.

The sudden halt of the carriage jarrs you from your thoughts, and your eyes raise to the window. Feeling your breath catch at the sight in front of you. Winterfell stood as proud as you always imagined it to. The beautiful stone architecture speaking of a time long lost but never forgotten. It was a sight that made you reflect on the beautiful history that was the past of Westeros. A time when bloodshed was a burden rather than a benefit. When all the great houses stood together as one. When everything was as it was supposed to be.

When Westeros was whole and not fractured.

The frigid air of the North surrounds you as you step out of the carriage. The sudden chill causes you to wrap your cloak around you. The only defense you have against the biting wind, but you couldn’t help the small smile that curls your lips at the feeling. It was so different from the heat waves that entrenched King’s Landing. The cool feeling against your skin was a welcome change from the heat that normally chokes you.

Moving to stand slightly behind your father you watch as Lord Stark steps from his family. All of whom seem to be watching your own with something that you’ve attributed to northern weariness. You watch as your father and Lord Stark smile at one another with a jovial air between them. Their bond still so strong after all these years apart, but you could see the fractures that are starting to grow between the two men. Fractures that you weren’t sure Westeros could take. You don’t know what would happen if the North and South began to fight once more. All you do know is that it won’t be pretty and it wouldn’t end nicely for many involved.

You watch, with bated breath, as Lord Stark speaks. His words coming out in a gruff timbre that you’ve, also, attributed to northern men.

“Winterfell is yours, your grace.”

If only you had known then how fractured things were about to become.

#daenerys imagine #daenerys targaryen imagine #daenerys targaryen #daenerys targaryen x reader #daenerys x reader #daenerys stormborn #got imagine #game of thrones imagine #game of thrones #fractured

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