#mentions of batman

[furaflictedhost]

Afton Family Stupidity Prompt List

Afton Family Stupidity won the interest poll by a land slide, so here’s the prompt list as it stands now. 

As the title says, Afton Family Stupidity is little random things in the everyday life of the Afton family. These stories don’t have to be read sequentially and don’t have a particular order to them. They jump all over the timeline, and each story is self-contained, so none of the stories are required to understand the next one, unless it’s a part 2 of something.

How to request a story: I will accept requests through the Tumblr inbox.

I will take requests from this list, but I will also take requests for prompts that aren’t from the list. If you have a specific character in mind for the story, feel free to add that to the request. Have fun!

The noodle

Week old Coffee

“William…What the hell is that?”

“Daddy, What’s a —--”

Video Games

Spring Bonnie

The Foxy Mask

“Father? What does **** mean?”

Old wounds

Mr. Afton has a moment

Little projects

“What do you mean your project is due in 5 hours?”

“Get off the counter!”

Bunnies

“What on earth is a dingus?”

Old friends

That stupid bunny costume

“You did what?!”

“So, hypothetically…”

Sleep Deprivation

Nightmares

“Oh no, Dad’s turned into a zombie again.”

“That was dumb.”

“What were you thinking?”

Voice acting

“This was a disaster.” 

Hysterical Giggling

Ice Cream

“Movie Night was a terrible idea.”

Jazz hands

“I left the animatronics on!”

Training Wheels

“What does it mean by ‘launch the train’?”

Plushtrap

Spiders

Murder bunny

“Stop breaking my toys!”

Food Fight

“Officer, I can explain.”

Officer Dunn(with life)

Dave

Dumb Spring Locks

“Do you have any games on your phone?”

Adam West Vs. Animated Series (Batman Battle)

“How does anyone find that funny?”

Arcade Machine

Malfunction

"Freddy Fazballs”

No, just no.

“What madman designed you!”

“Because I don’t care.”

Toy Chica’s design

“You can’t just walk in here and demand candy.”

Speaker Test

Dr. Henry Miller

“How did I get here?”

The Ned

Scott the Phone-Man

Bubbles

Marionette

The Night Shift

“There are kids around, sicko.”

Fever

“Foxy, leave me alone!”

Stabby

“Engineering for dummies.”

“You fool.”

Safety Dance

Ghosts

Buttons

[incorrectbatfam]

The only acceptable trans Tim headcanon would be Tim introducing himself to the batfam as a boy from the get-go with such confidence that no one questions him. Then, his first solo case as Robin is investigating the disappearance of Jack and Janet Drake's "daughter," so he pretends to have a twin sister by forging a bunch of documents and photoshopping family pictures. He then fabricates evidence of her death, committing multiple crimes in the process, and holds a fake funeral at the end. Because if his previous name is dead to him, he's gonna kill it the Tim Drake way

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

He might be 6’0 and built like a brick but i see the rage of a teenage girl in his eyes

[ashoss]

my lovely son waking me up to tell me he threw up.

us waking up my wonderful butlerfather to tell him he threw up.

[batsyheere]

Bruce tries to adopt Ellie, who is immediately against it. She keeps throwing him off her trail and he keeps tracking her down. She's honestly concerned, and normally she would handle her problems by herself- but this is Batman.

So when Bruce gets a little too close and Ellie is just so tired... she calls for Danny.

"Mom!"

Cue college student, perpetually tired and overworked Danny "High King Phantom" Fenton appearing from the very shadows Batman normally does himself, seeing the situation and going off at this "clearly older man" chasing his daughter in the middle of the night.

Cue the most elaborate "stop trying to adopt my kid before I adopt yours" series of battles

[oifaaa]

It's funny how opinions can change over time for instance I used to want Bruce to be a good parent but then I realised how fucking boring that is to read at the end of the day comics are soap operas and I'm here for the drama

[ifyoucandaniel]

this is so stupid but here’s a little comic i made for a little bingo au me and @twisted-tales-told came up with a few weeks ago. pretty much just the idea that jason needed a cover at some point and stumbled in on bingo night and was quickly adopted by the little old ladies there. now he plays every friday and has beef with dora and gets sent home with banana bread :) clara is trying to set him up with her grandson and all of her problems with her land lord have mysteriously been solved :))

being involved in his community is very important to jason and he loves seeing them host community events bc it feels like his home is healing

bonus: none of the bats have the faintest idea what Jason does in his spare time aside from babs and dick is so butthurt he wasn’t invited (not pictured: nightwing outside the bingo hall window looking in look a kicked puppy while jason flips him off)

(this is my first comic pls be nice it’s just a sketch)

[breannasfluff]

“Tony’s Pizza delivery!” Danny knocks on a door and stands back slightly, waiting for the answer. Silence. He knocks again. “Pizza order! For…” he checks the box, “Rob!”

There’s the thud of footsteps behind the door, but it doesn’t open. It’s like someone walked right up to it and is waiting. The house itself has blacked-out windows and piles of trash on the lawn. Something about the situation feels…off.

Danny pulls out the taser, which he usually keeps in his pocket. The other hand tightens slightly on the pizza box. He doesn’t go intangible, not yet, but his powers bubble around his core, ready at a moment’s notice.

The door swings open. There’s a gun pointed at his face. 

Acting on instinct more than thought, Danny snaps the taser forward and presses the button when it meets the man’s arm. There’s a roar of pain and the gun is dropped. 

Keeping a hold of the taser, Danny drops the pizza box on the steps. “You owe us payment next time you order thank you goodbye!”

He bolts, grabbing the bike and wheeling it next to him instead of jumping on it. Pulling on intangibility it spreads to the bike as well. As soon as he’s around the corner, Danny goes invisible. His heart is hammering against his chest and all he wants to do is curl into himself. 

Still, he keeps a hold of the bike–no good if it suddenly pops into existence–and breathes through his panic. The taser worked. Sure, he didn’t get paid, but he also didn’t get shot. If Tony’s upset, Danny will ask him to take the cost out of his wages. 

After another few minutes of breathing exercises–thank you Jazz–he’s settled enough to flicker back to visibility and bike back to the shop. 

Tony glances up at him when he enters and does a double take. “What happened, kid?”

“Didn’t get payment for the pizza. Sorry.”

The owner’s eyes narrow. “This wouldn't happen to be because someone pointed a gun at you, would it?”

“Er…”

Laughter is not what he expects. Tony just grins at him. “Kid, I just got a call saying the delivery boy had a taser he wasn’t afraid to use and skedaddled without payment.”

Danny winces, waiting for the beratement. 

“Rob gave you a five-star review. Said it’s the smartest move he’s seen in a while. Paid over the phone for once. You’re good, kid.”

He lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Do people often answer the door for pizza while holding a gun?”

A shoulder shrug. “Around here, it’s more common than you’d think. But if you think you’re in danger, you act to protect yourself, got it? The pizza shop will recover if someone decides to order elsewhere. Besides,” and Tony’s grin edges on feral, “they don’t get many other choices.”

Crime Alley residents, Danny decides, are a rare breed of people.

Read the rest here!

[monkesupreme]

dense, neutron star of a man. His weight fluctuates based off of the amount of sun hes been exposed to, and the amount of water ingested, so a very healthy kryptonian easily weighs around 350-400 lbs/ 158-181 kgs. Martha quickly traded in her lawn chairs for sturdy, solid wood, rocking chairs for the front porch as he got older, but Clark seems to be drawn to the flimsy lawn chairs like a moth to a flame.

(Hes prone to shouting for his Ma or Pa when hes scared awake, old habit hes never broke out of lol)

Bonus: a regular day for Bruce

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.3

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“Aquaman.” Batman swept into the room, beelining straight for the suddenly apprehensive Atlantean king.

“Batman. What can I do for you?”

“Phantom. Does he pay taxes?”

“Pardon?”

Batman makes a low noise that had Aquaman’s danger senses buzzing.

“Does Phantom have to pay taxes. Towards Atlantis.”

“No…? Why?”

“He wanted money, in exchange for… information, of a delicate sort,” Batman said, diplomatically avoiding the topic of Phantom bargaining for the identities of corpses in exchange for a measly $100 dollars per identity. Like a flea market dealer, that one was.

“You encountered Phantom again?” Aquaman perked up.

“Yes. Gotham’s bay is… polluted.” Batman paused. “With victims. Of murder.”

The entire area quieted as heads turned towards the Dark Knight.

“Yes, I am… distantly aware of Gotham’s waters.” By that, Aquaman gets green around the gills whenever he turns his awareness in that direction. There’s a reason he doesn’t enter Gotham, and the Dark Knight’s ban is only half of that reason. “Ah, but you’re correct. For what purpose would Phantom need mortal currency?”

“Hn.”

“Maybe he needs some stuff?” Flash zipped to a stop next to Batman, feet tapping as he dug into the pile of snacks cradled in his arms. “Us mortals are always coming up with new things, maybe he wants to try some games or something?”

Batman tilted his head down, seriously considering Flash’s suggestion. “It’s plausible.”

“Barry, Barry, Barry. He’s old as hell, right? He probably wants to try the new booze!”

“Hal, my man!” Flash fist bumped Green Lantern, who came up. “You’re back! What happened to John?”

“Dunno. He got called somewhere that way,” Green Lantern waved a vague hand towards the left. “Had to deal with a politician or something from that area.” He shrugged, swinging an arm over Barry’s shoulders to put him in a headlock and stealing a chip.

“Huh. Anyways, would our mortal alcohol even work on a demi-god or something?”

“We should ask!” Hal turned towards Batman. “You should ask if he wants to go for a drink, spooky!”

“He’s a child.”

“He’s been around for more than a millennia, Bats.”

“Informational gathering, right, Hal?” Flashgot out of the headlock, quickly munching on his snacks to stop Green Lantern from stealing them.

“Totally. Yup.”

“…Fine.”

“Wait, are we just gonna ignore that Gotham’s waters are full of bodies?”

“Yes.”

——

“What?” Danny asked, mind half on the bags he’s dragging out of the water and the other half on the essay he has to submit in about four hours.

“Green Lantern wanted to invite you out for a drink.”

Danny turned to the stoic Gotham knight, who had his wrist computer out to log the bodies’ info the moment Danny gave him the information. Some of them even told Danny who murdered them, so Batman could start building cases with solid leads.

Danny’s only twenty. He’s not legal yet but he doesn’t want to give any clues to who he is. How is he supposed to…

Ah!

“Can’t.” Danny shrugged. “I’m not legal. I died when I was fourteen so…” Danny trailed off, speechless at the drowned puppy face Batman was giving him. What the fuck.

“Anyways, fork over my payment.”

Batman wordlessly hands him a wad of hundreds.

“What do you need cash for?” Batman suddenly asked.

“Huh? Isn’t it obvious?” Danny tucked it in. “Material things, obviously. I need a blanket,” because holy shit, Gotham is damn cold this time of year. “Anyways, see you same time next week, litterer.”

“I don’t litter.”

“Tell that to the batarangs I found under the water,” Danny grumbled. “But I’ll stop calling you that if you get a signature from Poison Ivy. I have a friend who loves her.”

“An alive friend?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”

Danny snickered and disappeared. He’s gotta cram that essay.

——

“There’s a possibility Phantom might be homeless.”

“Batman, I mean this in the nicest way, but for the love of Atlantis, please stop giving me headaches. It’s time like these I wish I stayed a lighthouse keeper.”

[weepingwillows-sweethibiscustea]

I’m currently thinking about an AU where the Justice League confuse Danny for Jason.

Like, they know Batman’s second Robin met an unfortunate end, & now his newest partner is the ghost of an upbeat, scrawny, teenage boy.

Excuse them, for thinking the ghost being Batman’s dead son was more believable then Batman somehow having picked up not just another stray, but a dead one. How did he even do that?

Bonus points if Jason is very much so resurrected already, but none of the bats told the justice league because apparently Gotham’s newest crime lord, who’s 6’ whatever & built like a brick shithouse, isn’t obviously the same malnourished little kid that used to say “Robin gives me magic!” & literally died. Who knew?

[furaflictedhost]

Afton Family Stupidity

~Discussing Interests~

“So, this….Batman character you’re so excited about. What’s so interesting about him?”

Michael went bug eyed at his father’s question. 

“What?! He’s the world's greatest detective! Come on dad!”

Glancing up from his workbench, William raised an eyebrow.

“Last time I checked that title belongs to Sherlock Holmes.”

The longsuffering groan from his son made him smirk wryly. Taking this as a challenge, Michael began to count off the interesting aspects of his favorite hero.

“Okay, Father. He’s a detective, crime fighter, superhero, billionaire, philanthropist, genius, father, AND! He dresses like a bat to strike fear into the hearts of criminals.”

The teen folded his arms, sticking his nose in the air. 

“That’s why he’s awesome.”

“Doesn’t sound far off from what I do.”

Almost choking on air, Michael looked at his father in disbelief.

“What? No! Totally different. You prance around in a bunny costume to make kids laugh, and build robots that usually fail. He fights the most dangerous of criminals dressed like a bat because bats are scary.”

His father looked affronted.

“My machines don’t usually fail! And I do not ��prance’, I frolic.”

Rolling his eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t pop out of his head, Michael hunched over on the stool he was sitting on. 

“Suuuuure. Keep telling yourself that, dad.”

Continuing to fiddle with Foxy’s arm, William sighed.

“Besides, I’m not sure all that violent television is good for you. It gave you nightmares when you were younger.”

Sputtering with irritation, Michael threw his hands up. He stalked out of his father’s workshop, ignoring when his father called after him.

William pulled his glasses off his face to rub at the bridge of his nose. Sometimes he just did not understand that boy. Looking at the machine on the table, he contemplated the discussion, then sighed in frustration.

“Alright, William. You have pissed off your son again. What was it this time…?”

He tapped his fingers against his desk in thought, picking through the conversation piece by piece, and ultimately coming up blank. He swiftly grabbed a large piece of drafting paper and a marker, tossing them both on the floor. 

Popping the cap off the marker, William drew a circle, quickly creating a mind map. It was a mess, words and circles haphazardly thrown onto the page. Running his hands through his hair he tried to calm the stress building up in the back of his head.

“Ohkay… Let us try this again.”

“Will?” 

He looked over his shoulder from his crouched position over his mind map. His wife was standing in the doorway. 

“Dearest, first off, what are you doing?”

Motioning vaguely to the paper, William stated what he thought was obvious. 

“Mind map.”

She walked over and stood next to him, looking at the chaos that adorned the page.

“Okay…Michael said you were being unreasonable, and I wanted to ask what happened.”

Standing up, He looked down at the entire mind map. 

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I was trying to figure out why he liked Batman so much, but he got irritated and stormed off.”

An understanding hum from his wife redirected his attention to her. 

“You were trying to dissect his interests again. That’s why he’s so upset.”

She put an arm around him and pulled him close so she could kiss him on the cheek.

“Maybe try just sitting down and watching some Batman with him instead of trying to pick it apart? Then you two could discuss the episode?”

William blinked a couple times. That would work far better. 

“Oh.”

She chuckled. 

“You are so clueless sometimes, I love you.”

He grinned sheepishly, and pecked her on the head, before heading up to find his son. 

Michael was in his room, blankets wrapped tightly around him like a cocoon. When he heard his father’s familiar knocking pattern, He sighed in irritation.

“What!?” 

After a minute of silence, Michael called out again.

“You can come in.”

The door slowly opened, and his father poked his head in, and then made his way over to his son. Michael was glaring at him sharply. 

“What do you want?”

“I wanted to apologize.”

Raising an eyebrow, Michael scrutinized his father, who was picking at his hands.

“Okay…?”

“I did not realize that my attempt to dissect your interests would irritate you. I…wanted to know more about why you enjoyed it, and your mother pointed out that was not the best approach.”

Michael nodded. That made more sense, his mom had pointed it out, otherwise he wouldn’t have heard about it again from his dad. 

“Ah.”

 William continued rather timidly.

“So perhaps…You could show me an episode? So, I can see for myself, and you will not have to explain it?”

Giving him an odd look, Michael contemplated the offer.

“Eh. Fine. Come on.”

As they settled on the couch, William was internally grateful for his wife’s wisdom. If he’d worked through it on his own, He would’ve been chewing on it for weeks. By the time he figured it out, it would not have been relevant any more.

The theme began playing, and he focussed, intent to spend the afternoon solving the mystery that was his son’s interests.

[incorrectbatfam]

Alfred gets sick of Bruce breaking and losing stuff on patrol so he gets a label maker and starts naming items after the kids

Alfred: I got you a new phone, just like you asked. Its name is Jason. Try not to let it die.

Bruce, tearing up: Why would you say that—

[prokopetz]

The problem with Batman in his present incarnation is that we need simultaneously to believe that this is a man who can effortlessly ninja his way through dozens of gun-toting mercenaries, and that this is a man to whom Danny DeVito with an umbrella is a credible threat.

[caffeinatedvigilantewriter]

So Dani has gotten captured by the GIW, and got reverted to her chronological age (7, she was 19 when she was captured. Team phantom was attending collage and couldn’t get to her in time)

Luckily, Bruce Wayne, training to be Batman, breaks into the Base and rescues her.

He invites her to joins him while traveling and she accepts. But, after a while Bruce heads back to Gotham and they part way. (Dani was 8). Dani was the kid he never had.

Dani visits whenever Bruce’s kids are all away, so she’s never meet them. And Bruce forgets to mention the fact that they all have an older sister (Bruce is her emergency guardian)

There are multiple ways the batkids can find out about Dani

“Bruce? I found your old video logs from when you trained to be Batman, and who’s the kid you’re with?”

“Oh that your sister. She’s dead”

———————

“All in favor for Phantasm the ghost girl to join the JLD?!”

“Superman, I thought I said that none of my kids will be joking the Justice League while I’m still alive.”

“She’s your kid? But she dead!”

———————

“BRUCE! I thought you said you were in Paris for a mission with a partner?”

“I was.”

“Then why is there a photo of you in a cafe with a women three years older than Dick?!”

“She was my partner.”

“Who is she?”

“She’s your sister, Duke.”

———————

“Oh no!? How do we defeat big bad ghost baddie?!?”

“Hn. I will call in an expert.”

“Batman, you know someone who is an expert with ghosts? Who is she?”

“My daughter.”

“Black Bat?”

“No, my other daughter.”

“Spoiler?”

“No. My oldest daughter.”

“Oracle?”

“No.”

“What other daughter do you have?”

“Dani. She’s dead.”

[nyerusnova]

yeah... things are pretty yikes right now in the current batfam storyline,

but at least Tim is rocking those thigh-high boots and I just wanted to appreciate that for a sec