#mentally cracking

[clockwork-hearted]

Erebus, my love,

I’ve had a rough couple of weeks. My mind has been very uneasy and I’m starting to feel like everything is crashing down again.

That everything keeps piling up on my shoulders and it’s slowly crushing me. I’m not sure why I haven’t been able to shake things off as easily as I used to, but it makes me feel weak. I get angry at myself for feeling this way, and then I get sad that I can’t bring myself to talk about it, and then I get angry again for shutting down and, ultimately, it creates a vicious mental cycle for me.

Sleep hasn’t brought me much solace either. I actually haven’t been sleeping very well again. And yes, I know, that’s where majority of my mental spirals come from and why I haven’t been coping properly, but it’s been hard to reach that “proper” amount of sleep.

God, I could really use another depressive 16 hour sleep episode right about now, but even that makes me feel terrible for “wasting” my day away.

I love knowing that all of these words in “ ” aren’t concrete. And I love knowing the truth behind them, yet they still love to etch themselves in my mind and pop up at the most inconvenient times. They always do and I’m never the only one to experience this.

I also haven’t been feeling fond of myself again. I can’t decide on my style, or the earrings I want to wear, or the nail polish color, or even if I should even paint my nails. My appetite has been curving again, and I’m trying my best not to do it on purpose, but it’s just lackluster.

I just finished binging season 3 of Heartstopper by myself. I watched and episode with my best friend and my boyfriend, but then they had to leave. I wanted to honor the “let’s watch it together tradition,” but I couldn’t. I’ve been counting down the weeks and the days for this season. Seeing my sweet boys so happy again. Seeing their whole crew grow and thrive and experience all these things together and individually.

I need to binge it. It was the only light at the end of my current tunnel. And I did it. And as always, it was a marvelous time. Yet here I am, sitting on my couch at 1 in the morning, writing to you.

It’s always you though. That’ll never change. You’re the one that I don’t need to explain anything to. You just get it. Sometimes though, it’s hard to keep it together. Myself, my energy, my mental state- it’s all running through like a rollercoaster.

There’s so many lives and things I want to experience. So many things that I get bitter about for not having been able to in the past. So many experiences that were “stolen” from me that I’m trying to regain as an adult. Yet here I am, still breaking down, wanting so much but giving so little.

I’m tired. I’m running. And I don’t want to be anymore. I want the impossible dream of life freezing in place for a few days so I can catch back up. I don’t want these responsibilities rn. I want to be free.

Freedom… oh, my love, you know exactly where I go with that. And even though it’s a stupid dream and desire to hold on to, I will never let it go. It’s one part of me that never changes and keeps me grounded.

If only it was easier to escape like we used to. If only it was something that I could close my eyes and achieve even for a few breathtaking moments. If only I hadn’t built these prisons around me, that at the end of the day, I hold the only real key.

I’m pathetic honestly.

Well, no. But in this moment I am.

And here I am, wasting time, writing to you. I’m sorry for wasting your time.

But I thank you, and I will continue to do so until I draw my last breath. Thank you for always helping me reconstruct myself. Thank you for keeping me safe.

I love you. Te amo. Je t’aime.

Erebus, mon ange…

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

[ridleymocki]

(seeing so many bad faith interpretations of the argument, y'all are really going to make me do this, okay HERE WE GO)

.................................

What Ed says: "I think last night was a mistake. I'm not ready for... Whatever this is."

What Ed means: "I didn't want last night to happen so soon or under those circumstances. Things are changing rapidly, which makes me feel out of control and scared."

What Stede hears: "I regret sleeping with you. I don't want the sort of relationship that you're after."

.................................

What Stede says: "It was a fine fish. It was... whatever. I was just trying to make you feel good!"

What Stede means: "I only cared about the fish because you cared about it, and I care about you. I liked the fish because it made you happy. Ordinarily, I'm ambivalent about fish."

What Ed hears: "I lied to you. I didn't care about your achievement I was just placating you to get what I wanted."

.................................

What Ed says: "Here's the news: I'm leaving. I got a job on a little fishing boat and I'm leaving. I'm a fisherman now."

What Ed means: "I think I need to be away from you to figure out who I am, because I haven't been able to do that while we're together, and your lifestyle now is the life I'm trying to leave behind."

What Stede hears: "I've made a decision to leave you and have a life without you. I don't value what we have enough to work with you to find a solution, I'd prefer to end it."

.................................

What Stede says: "Oh, Ed. Seriously? You're not a fisherman."

What Stede means: "I think you're using this plan to escape and avoid your problems. It sounds like you're pretending to be someone else. It seems to me like an impulsive decision and I am concerned."

What Ed hears: "I don't support this ambition. I think you're incapable. I don't think you can be different from what you have always been."

.................................

This is the kind of analysis done in therapeutic environments. When I put what they mean, it's not just a rephrasing but a boiling down to the core issue. I could go on to the rest of the dialogue but do you see the continuing ship-in-the-night miscommunication?? It's tripartite:

failing to express one's current emotional reality with the most accurate and clear language, often because that reality is not fully understood to oneself,

misinterpreting the other's language, due to preexisting sensitivities and defensiveness about one's own understanding of the situation,

increasing frustration and sense of personal attack that results from those misinterpretations, which perpetuates and worsens the poor communication.

Importantly, this kind of pattern means you miss the best and most important kernels of communication in an exchange because you're reacting to the more inflammatory parts.

Stede: "This can be whatever we want it to be." (I am willing to make changes to our arrangement so that you're happy). Ed: "I don't even know who I am! Alright? I know I don't want to be a pirate. And you, you're blowing up, you're the toast of the town." (I think we want different things. You're just starting a journey that I've already finished).

With those two bits alone they could've sorted this out. The first is the answer to the second. But they didn't -- couldn't -- latch onto it because all their other baggage was getting in the way.

And I'm being proven correct that this is what is happening, because I have seen next to nothing on here about the above two lines, only reactionary takes of fans also focusing on the inflammatory parts because of their predispositions. You're doing an encore performance of what they're doing.

Point being, there are no bad guys in this scene, just repeated system failure!

[thereisselfpreservation]

Also the mental image I always have in my head of Hua Cheng nodding to himself with a satisfied smirk, so damn pleased, as he's set everything up perfectly to give Xie Lian everything he needs to get to the dungeons and rescue Ming Yi and escape back to Heaven. Hua Cheng made Yin Yu reveal the shackle so it would be suspicious enough for Xie Lian to follow after him to see where he needs to go and exactly, step by step, what he needs to do to get inside. Hua Cheng gave him all the luck he needs to roll the dice on the exact number to open the room and then the dungeon, and then get back out and into Paradise Manor all on the first try without so much as a scratch on his lovely little head. It was such a flawless plan! Gave Xie Lian all of the pieces he needs to put the puzzle together, and Hua Cheng knows he will. He's finally fulfilling his purpose of allowing his beloved to get through life with ease, yet still being able to do it all on his own. His wonderful, strong, intelligent beloved...

And it just cuts to Xie Lian thinking he won't roll the right number even with the borrowed luck and making Wind Master do it TWICE and them having to run from everything trying to kill them, probably with Yakety Sax playing over the montage.

...You tried. You tried so hard. Unfortunately Xie Lian has some issues he needs to work through, but man you really gave it your all. You did so good. You did it, buddy. Good job. 👍

(Another cut to Paradise Manor on fire.)

[wifeyoozi]

"Best Dick Award"

just a blurb ,, crack/suggestive ,, aka having another episode of ceecee's madness reaching a new high

You and Jihoon are lounging in your living room, enjoying a lazy afternoon together. The TV is playing some random show in the background, but neither of you is really paying attention. You're too busy giggling to yourself, holding a small, hastily wrapped box in your hands.

"What's so funny?" Jihoon asks, raising an eyebrow as he looks over at you.

You can't help but snicker. "I have a surprise for you."

Jihoon sits up a little straighter, curiosity piqued. "A surprise? For me?"

"Yep," you say, handing him the box. "Go on, open it."

Jihoon takes the box, giving you a skeptical look before tearing off the wrapping paper. Inside, he finds a small golden-painted plastic trophy, the kind you might get from a novelty shop. The plaque on the front reads, "Best Dick Award."

Jihoon bursts out laughing, holding the trophy up for a better look. "Are you serious?"

You nod, trying to keep a straight face. "Totally serious. You’ve earned it."

Jihoon shakes his head, still chuckling. "And what exactly did I do to deserve this prestigious honor?"

You grin, leaning back on the couch. "Well, for one, you've been exceptionally generous with your, uh, 'services.' Plus two, you’ve set a new standard in, shall we say, performance. And last but definitely not the list, you are endowed in a way to just please women." You chuckle with a wink.

Jihoon smirks, clearly amused. "Wow, I'm honored. I'd like to thank the academy, my parents for always believing in me, and most importantly, my lovely partner for being such a dedicated audience."

You burst into laughter. "You're welcome! It's a tough job, but someone’s got to do it."

Jihoon sets the trophy on the coffee table, still smiling. "So, do I get any other perks with this award? A speech? A victory lap?"

You tap your chin, pretending to think. "Hmm, I think the award itself is pretty prestigious. But I suppose we could celebrate... privately."

Jihoon's eyes gleam with mischief. "Oh, a different kind of lap, I see. I like the sound of that. Just remember, with great power comes great responsibility."

You roll your eyes playfully. "Don't let it go to your head. Or, you know, the other head."

Jihoon laughs, pulling you into his arms. "I promise to use my powers wisely."

"Good," you say, snuggling against him. "Because I might just have to revoke your title if you don't."

Jihoon gives you a mock serious look. "I'd better stay on my A-game then. Can't risk losing the 'Best Dick Award.'"

You laugh, pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips. "Exactly. Now, Mr. Best Dick, how about we start our celebration?"

Jihoon grins, pulling you over his lap. "That's the best idea I've heard all day."

[fatedroses]

More than just the Demon.

[tf2-crack-ideas]

Scout started picking up on/figuring out the translation of some words in german, french and russian due to medic spy and heavy

He knows more french thoug because after figuring our hes picking up on it, spy started slowly saying more in french to scout to see if hell pick up on it

Spy also gets super proud and happy when he does, especially if spy says one fully correctly

[sweeneydino]

Turtles Foever(that's on purpose)

I JUST FOUND THIS SCREENSHOT ON GOOGLE AND COULDN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD

Why does he look dead inside-

[leniisreallycool]

MC with auditory hallucinations

MC: *snooping around the attic stairs*

Lucifer: What are you doing didn't I tell you to stay away from the attic

MC: Yeah you did but I heard someone call my name

Lucifer: You heard someone call your name... and you decided to investigate? Even though you're a human in the Devildom?

MC: Well yeah. I assumed it was a hallucination because I'm guessing most demons don't know my name since I've only just arrived so the likelihood of it being real is next to none but at the same time I won't feel safe unless I investigate and make sure it was in fact a hallucination and not someone who will later sneak into my room and kidnap me in my sleep and wait until I wake up and torture me to death with methods I am incapable of imagining

Lucifer, internally: What the fuck. Why couldn't we have a normal human. Wait I can use this-

Lucifer: Listen this house is magic fortified it's literally impossible for anyone unauthorized to enter no one called your name

MC: Okay cool that makes me feel so much better

MC never went back to the attic and Lesson 16 never happened~

[ninjaaa-go]

I was just thinking that, if we do actually get amnesiac Jay, him eventually getting his memories back could be really interesting. Because obviously you’ve got all the great memories with his family and the people he loves, but at the same time just— the horrors. The guy has so much trauma piled up from over the years and I feel like that would be A Lot to have dumped on you all at once.

[raileurta]

Testing something

*after dealing with a mission*

Green lantern: Spooky with the 50 kids you have ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʸᵒᵘ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃᵖᵖᵃʳᵉⁿᵗˡʸ ᵍᶦᵛᵉⁿ ᵇᶦʳᵗʰ ᵗᵒᵒ and your batgadgets how can you afford all of it?

Batman decides to mess with Hal again

Batman: Bruce Wayne sponsors me and in exchange I provide sexual favors.

Batman: How were you not aware of this? It is common knowledge.

Green lantern: NOW I KNOW YOU GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME!!!!!

Batman: Lantern lower your voice you are causing a commotio-

Green lantern: I WILL NOT- I UGh. (This is some serious horse shit)

Green lantern : Ain't no way Brucie motherfucking Wayne is your sugar daddy.

*Batman pulls out a collar written in gold "bruce's batty boy" and shows it to lantern*

Batman: I am not deceiving you Green lantern. I now must go Gotham needs me. *Dramatic cape flip and disappearance*

Bruce had that collar in his pockets for three months.

[wordy-little-witch]

Unhinged hit take but imagine for a moment all the Doflamingo/Crocodile ideas being a thing, and Doffy finds out IN JAIL about Cross Guild. Mans is losing his SHIT okay, his ex left him for a CLOWN.

CROCODILE turned him and his business proposals down but partnered with THE CLOWN?!

Oh his brain cells are Gucci and Prada, bedazzled and flexed, he knows math and THIS? This math ain't mathing, buster.

So he escapes.

The hows are unimportant and also I don't care enough to flesh it out. It just Happens, okay?

So Doffy is free, no sock needed, and he beelines STRAIGHT to Karai Bari.

Well. He swings by a high end boutique first because he's bougie like that, but then he is THERE, okay?

So Doffy shows up and causes a Ruckus. Cross Guild Poly has, by this point, NOT been established, but Croc and Mihawk both have FEELINGS. Buggy is oblivious.

Doffy sees Croc having A Feeling and Assumes. After all, Crocodile rarely expresses any kind of emotion unless it's on purpose to this is completely mathing now. The clown must have SOMETHING going for him.

So Doffy Seduces The Clown. It's to prove a point, prove he's BETTER than Buggy, he's COOLER and more FASHIONABLE and he wears HEELS so obviously he is the best choice. He needs to understand his enemy.

Only... Buggy's actually pretty damn cute.

And also makes... really good noises. He's so responsive. And sensitive. And he's a masochist to boot, right up Doffy's ally. AND this clown has some SERIOUS stamina, holy stars.

The night ends with Doffy, exhausted, staring into space with Buggy curled up, head on his chest and covered in bite marks. He is still processing.

The next day, he wakes up and he finds Buggy in the little kitchenette, in an oversized shirt and thigh highs, making pancakes and bacon. The clown turns to him, smiles, greets him, offers coffee. Doffy gets breakfast and is left still kinda reeling even as Buggy babbles happily, shirt slipping off his shoulder slightly and revealing a bite mark there. The former warlord looks away, indignant at the tingling warmth if a blush, of all things, on his face.

He hates to admit that he can maybe see the appeal now.

But he still thinks the clown is using some kind of weird fucking clown magic. He's NEVER gotten so worked up after a transactional lay before.

Crocodile and Mihawk meanwhile are FROTHING because they each had a 37 step plan to woo the clown and the flamingo bastard jut swooped in out of prison and bedded him. That isn't fair. That's the opposite of fair.

Seeing Buggy limping the next day and Doffy still kinda out if it simply makes the two dark haired men want to claw out someone's eyes.

Buggy is a special brand of oblivious because he thought Doffy just wanted good time once, no biggie, he gets it. So when the feathered man sticks around, he's cool with it. He doesn't really get why the others are all weird about it though.

He also doesn't get why their ominous threats and off putting vibes have intensified either, but he's good at rolling with the punches.

He tells Shanks a much during their monthly i-don't-miss-you-i-hate-you-how-have-you-been talks.

Shanks tells him they like him.

He hangs up on the redhead. Then he calls Shaks again just to hang up once more, this time with passion.

Everyone's suffering.

[aria0fgold]

With a glass body

You bear the weight of the world

Praying for safety

[starry-eyes-and-clear-skies]

You know what? Sukuna x Cinderella headcanons

Cinderella never seeks vengeance on those who wronged her, so Sukuna seeks it for her.

Despite his insisting to let him pamper her, Cinderella is often found helping around the castle. He has to force her to rest.

She loves the sunshine, so much so that she convinces Sukuna to let her draw the curtains in the palace.

Sukuna often catches her dancing and humming as she does chores. He'll stop and watch her until she notices him.

She's asked him to join her dancing many times. He thinks he'd look ridiculous waltzing, but if it's with her, he's willing to risk it.

Cinderella befriends the lower level curses, often making them their own little outfits and giving them names. It annoys Sukuna to share her attention.

She always fixes up his robes after his fights. He absentmindedly runs his fingers along the stitches when he thinks of her.