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littlefanficprincess · 3 months ago

Text

K.O in Arcadia

Trollhunters x fem reader

Chapter: 0.5

Word count: 3k

Synopsis: A girl from the 12th century accidentally falls through a portal and finds herself in 21st century Arcadia.

A/n: A chapter for a fanfic I'm possibly gonna make when I'm finished with 9th grade Ladybug, if the fandom is still alive.

~~~

You in- and exhale, closing your eyes. You were sitting on the hard wooden floor, holding your arms stretched out infront of you. On the floor before you was a spell circle, written with chalk.

"Eaptia epe obaprrr sef tmemlo"

The words escape your lips, they were almost burned into your brain. Your body gets a light white glow, objects around begin to float.

Morgana had given you the book to practice, as she herself was busy. Magic was forbidden in the kingdom. Morgana's use of it was only allowed, because she was the sister of king Arthur.

You slightly open one your eyes, peeking from behind your eyelid. Before you was a blue warpgate, where the spell circle used to be.

"Yes!" You cheer, you had been practicing that spell for a month. But your celebration was cut short by tugging at your dress. You grip the fabrics, trying to hold it back. Thing pulling on it was the warp gate, slowly pulling everything towards it.

In a blink of an eye, you get pulled in and fell through. Your (h/c) hair wave past your face as your body decends through...the sky? You could reach fast enough to land on your arms and legs, your body hits a field of grass.

You push your self up onto your knees, rubbing your sore arms. Your eyes scan the surrounding area, instead of your cozy home, you were met with a town filled with things you didn't regonise.

You stumbles into your feet, brushes the dust off your dress. You wander off the patch of grass and onto a big path of stone, above it was hanging a machine with colored lights. You wondered with green light mean, did it mean you could walk over.

Not even looking both ways, you walk across. You were able to get a glimpse of something heading your way, before it hit you. The next moment your vision went black.

{3rd pov}

The drive instructor's mouth falls open as the car stops, he had watched a teen hit the front of the car and falls onto the road.

"Oh no...Does this mean I failed?" The boy who was taking his exam asks, gripping the wheel tightly.

"Maybe I should fail you for being a worried about failing and not the person you just hit" The instructor scolds the teenage boy. He gets out of the car, checking on the unconscious girl. "She is just knocked out with a bruise, now your exam is to drive to the hospital".

(Your pov)

My eyes flicker open, being met very a very bright room. After I adjust to the brightness, I notice I was laying in a metal bed with white sheets. ‘Where am…’ suddenly the image of that machine entered my mind, reminding me what happened before I blacked out.

The door opens, grabbing my attention. Turn my gaze over to see a kind looking woman enter the room, holding a plank of wood with paper attached. She wrote something down on it, before looking at me. “You’re awake, that’s good. How are you feeling?” She asks.

I read the piece of paper on her coat ‘Dr. Lake’. “A bit light headed and sore, but I’m alright. Thank you, doctor Lake” I answer with a small smile.

“We weren’t able to find any ID on you. Can you tell me please your name?” Doctor Lake asks me, gripping the cillinder thing in her hand.

‘What is ID, does she mean idea?’ I think to myself. “(Y/n) (L/n)” I respond to her question.

{3rd pov}

Barbara writes down the girl’s name. Noting in her head that the girl’s attire seemed a bit odd, perhaps she does theatre. The ginger haired woman leaves the room and enters her office. She writes (L/n) in the hospital search form, surprised to see no results. Then she looked the girl’s name on a regular search engine, blank aswell. It made her question what was going on, so she returned to the hospital room.

She was met with (Y/n) sitting patiently in the bed, her left hand on the other. She was staring out the window, seeming to be looking at the sky. Barbara clears her throat, making (Y/n) turn to her. “I wasn’t able to find any files about you. Do you have your parents’ number?"

(Y/n) pauses, things rolling around in her mind. She didn't believe she was in a different country, or atleast a country that was close to England. The doctor spoke the same language as her, just with a different accent. She must've been brought to the future because of the time warp gate, most likely atleast a hundred years.

"I... don't remember, I only remember my name" She lied, it was beter than trying to explains that came through a portal.

'Did the blow of the car give her Amnesia?' Barbara theorizes, writing it down on her clipboard. "I'm going to organize something, I'll be back" She walks out of the door once again.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

For the time being, (Y/n) was placed in a program to reside with a family. The hospital hoped that she would recover her memory or that they were able to find anything about her.

{Your pov}

I stand infront of the house I was told to go. Doctor Lake had told me I was going to live with the Nuñez family, Mrs. Nuñez being a council woman of Arcadia. I was just hoping that they were friendly.

Slowly reaching towards the front door, I knock onto the door. I watch as the door opens, revealing a woman with short dark brown hair and brown eyes. She greets me with a smile "You must be (Y/n), come in".

Doing as she requested, I walk in. I hear her close the door behind me, as I turn my gaze around the home. It felt sleek and more one whole than I am used to.

I look over to see a baby jumping up and down in round swing looking thing. Walking over to them, I crouch down to get to their level. I couldn't help but chuckle when I see the baby reaching their chubby hands towards me. I had to stop myself from kissing his cute little face.

"That is my son Enrique, he is only a few months old" Mrs Nuñez introduces the small baby boy, walking to the kitchen. "My daughter and husband are at school and work right now, they should be back soon. You can find your bedroom, it is the white door. You came earlier than I was expecting"

I couldn't help but be curious on how my room would look like. I snuck upstairs, stopping at the white door. It was right to a purple door, which I assume belongs to the daughter.

Opening the door, I was met with an almost empty room. There was a bed with white sheets, an empty closet and a desk. I take a seat, it was quite comfortable. My fingers trace across the wrinkles of the sheets.

I could hear down below the door opening. "Mom, I'm home!" A voice calls out. The person and Mrs. Nuñez talk about something, but I wasn't able to understand clearly what they were saying. Not long after that, someone came walking upstairs. The person gently knocks on my room.

I open it, peeking out of it. Standing there was a teen girl, with dark brown hair with a dark blue streak in it. There were different colored accessories in her hair, reminding me of a rainbow. She was wearing a dark purple jacket, a lighter purple sweater with a skull on it. Under it she wore a skirt, with leggings under it.

"My mom didn't tell me someone was going to stay with us. My name is Claire, by the way. You must be (Y/n)" The girl introduces herself, holding out her hand for me to shake.

"That's me" I push the door further open, grabbing her hand and gently shaking it. "I hope you don't mind me having around. You already have your parents here and your little brother""Not really, I would be nice having another person around my age here" Her eyes lowers, inspecting my outfit. "Is that a twelfth century dress?"

I pause, realising I have to come up with an excuse. "Well...um, I don't remember a lot. But I think I liked theatre, maybe I was in a play" I like through my teeth, fiddling with my loose sleeve.

Claire's face lights up at the mention of it, she leaned in closer to me. "I love theatre! What is your favorite? Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet..." She trails off when she was my confused expression. "Right, you don't remember much. I got a little over-excited"

"It's nothing, I also get pretty overjoyed when hearing one of my interests. If don't mind asking, what time period are we in currently?" I question the girl.

"It's 2016, why do you ask?" Claire's expression becomes worried, her eyebrows furrow. "Are you feeling alright? You look pretty pale"

'Nine-hundred years...I am that far into the the future?' My head begins to feel light as I feel the shock. I feel myself falling back, until my head hit the floor.

BONK

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

After that embarrassing accident. Me, Clair and Mrs. Nuñez had gone to shopping to get clothes appropriate to this century. It was getting used to wearing softer and lighter fabrics, it felt easier to move.

[Keeping it vague on purpose]

I was inrolled into school, Arcadia Oak High. I stroll over the sidewalk, a bag slung across over my shoulder. Claire walked next to me, talking about a book she had read. From what I've seen, she was pretty responsible, even with all the pressure her mother puts her on.

I noticed two girls standing not that far away from us, seeming to be waiting for us. One had medium black hair, while the other had brown curly hair. "Hey C-bomb" The girl with curly hair's eyes shift to me "Who this? She seems new"

"(Y/n), pleasure" I chime, holding my hands togheter. They seemed a bit confused, was I too formal?"

"She is staying with me for a bit, I hope you don't mind her hanging around us" Claire mentions, breaking the akward tension.

"Not at all, I am Mary by the way" The black haired girl pulls out a 'phone'. Mr Nuñez had given me one not to long ago. I don't fully understand what it does, a feature was it could call upon a person from a far distance.

Mary pushes the phone in my face, on it were images of food and herself. "Can I get your Instagram? So I can add you" She asks.

My eyebrows furrow. "Insta...gram?" I mumble, trying to figure out what she was talking about. Perhaps it was the thing on her phone, it was something that formated images in a certain way.

Noticing that the confused gases has return, I clear my throat. "I just got a phone for the first time, I'm not really familiar with that" I explain myself.

"No way!" Mary slings her arm around my shoulder, pulling me along towards school. "During break, I am going to teach everything you need to know about the internet. You have a lot to catch up on"

"I think she is going fit right in" I hear the other girl say to Claire behind me, I hope she's right.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

While the girls had head to class, I had to go to the 'principle's office'. He was a nice man, he was throwing around slang I don't even think he understands. He gave me directions on where my first class way, along with s sheet with all my classes. Luckily I was in the same class as Claire, Mary and Darci (who's name I learned), first class was history by Mr. Strickler.

I stand before the classroom door, waiting for the right moment. I calm my nerves, knocking on the door. I hear a calm voice respond "Come in", my cue.

Pushing the door open, I was met with an older man and a bunch of teens staring at me. It felt a bit akward, It isn't a usual thing to have that many eyes on me.

"Introduce yourself, they don't bite" Mr. Strickler jokes, snapping me out of my train of thoughts. His remark made me relax more.

I walk over, standing before the class. I noticed Claire sitting near the front, who gives me a small wave. I smile, waving back. I look up, ready to talk. "My name is (Y/n), it's nice to meet you all" I greet, keeping the smile on my face.

"Now that wasn't too hard, was it?" Mr. Stricker chimes in. "Since you seem already acquainted with Ms. Nuñez, you can take a seat next to her" He instructs.

I nod, sitting down at the desk next to Claire. It went a lot easier than I was expecting, let's hope the rest of high school will be this easy. My lips purse as I feel a pair of eyes at me, but I ignore the feeling.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Toby and Jim walk out of the classroom as the lesson had wrapped up. Toby was talking Jim's ears off about a game he began playing.

They walk outside, heading towards their lockers. Jim spots the new girl talking to the principal, he couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"Can't Ms. Nuñez show you around?" The principal questions the (h/c)nette.

"She is busy with practice, it's really important to her" (Y/n) answers, fiddling with her fingers. She didn't remember exactly what the girl was practicing for, she thought it was a play.

It seemed like Toby was listening aswell. He jabs his best friend in the side, whispering "Dude, I have the greatest idea right now. If you give her a tour, you get good in Claire's book"

Jim scratches the back of his head. "I don't know, Toby. Isn't it a little shallow to just use her to get close to Claire?" He asks the shorter teen.

Toby didn't seem to listen. He grabs Jim by the arm, dragging him along. "We'll do it, principal" He says, raising his hand.

Turning towards the two students, a pleasant expression appears on the principal's face. "Ah, Domzalski, Lake. I'll be leaving her in your hands, don't get her in trouble" The old man laughs, before walking off.

(Y/n) looks at the two students, smiling innocently. She had to make sure to not accidentally reveal something she shouldn't, the fact that she was from a whole 'nother century or her magic.

'This is going to be a piece of cake' Toby thinks confidently, crossing his arms.

'Lord, have mercy on me' Jim tries his best to not palm his own face off.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

"English, Math, Biology, Spanish, History, P.E and lunch is my favorite" Toby jokes, getting a chuckle out of (Y/n). "Never forget to do your Spanish homework, or you'll be facing the wrath of Mr. Uhl"

(Y/n) looks over to the blue eyes boy, who seemed to be in deep thought. She wondered what could be going through his mind. "Do you anything to tell me about this school?" She spoke, snapping him out of it.

"Um, well...Mr. Strickler is pretty cool, I guess" Jim mutters. He didn't have much time to think of something to say. He was too busy wondering what was so off about the new girl, she seemed pretty normal. He squints his eyes as he notices something, he swore a spark in her in her eye.

"Do I have something on my face?" (Y/n) tilts her head, seeing that he was staring a little too long.

Jim shakes his head. "Nothing, it's nothing" He answers, just pushing away the thought.

The two boys notice (Y/n) looks at something. Follow her gaze, they see Steve doing his usual locker stuffing. They were thinking of walking away, but (Y/n) had other plans. Toby tried to grab by the sleeve, but was too late.

Steve was busy taunting Eli, then he feels someone tapping his shoulder. He turns and looks down, seeing (Y/n) infront of him. "What is it, Newbie? Can't you see I'm busy"

Poking his head out of the locker was Eli, his eyes widening at the sight of her. "I saw you before! You were falling from l-like the sky. Like an alien or a-an angel!" He points at her.

Steve bashes his elbow against the locker, making Eli hold his tongue. "Shut it, Pepperjack" Steve threatens the nerd. Then he leans forward, a smirk on his face "Now that I look at you, you look pretty cu–"

"Hey, Steve. New hair you got there? I gotta borrow her for a second" Toby akwardly smiles, pulling (Y/n) back. "The second most important thing is that you don't mess with Steve"

Letting put an annoyed huff, crossing her arms. "I am sorry, but I just really hate bullies" she chews her bottom lip, it already was a bit damaged.

"(Y/n), if you don't mind me asking. Are you perhaps from England" Jim asks her, seeming to grow suspicious of the girl.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Your accent"

(Y/n) tenses up, realising that she is possibly cornered. She had hoped that they wouldn't notice it. Telling him the lie she told Doctor Lake could be questioned once she accidentally do or say something suspicious. But saying she was, would contradict her lie.

She let out a relieved sigh as the bell rings. When she needed it most, the bell saved her. She gives the two boys a quick wave, before walking off.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Her (e/c) eyes stare at the ceiling as she later in her bed, her arms stretched out besides her. She turns her head, looking at the corkboard hanging on the wall. In the middle of it was a sticky note with drawing of a book. Red yarn connected it with other sticky notes, one of it was a sticky note with a drawing of the school. It was crossed out with red marker.

"Where is it..?"

#fanfic #x reader #starligt_galaxy #troll hunter #trollhunters #magic #Wizards dreamworks #jim lake jr #toby domzalski #claire nuñez #dreamworks #fem reader #Fanfiction #Trollhunters x reader #trollhunters tales of arcadia

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moonlit-orchid · 1 year ago

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This post came back to haunt me in my mind the other night. When I was meant to be studying.

I figured, let's do a quick young scrooge sketch. One hour later I was still drawing.

Here are the results

As you can see i got carried away. First I drew scrooge and then i wanted a donald. And then i wanted a della as an example of how her hair and eyes are slightly different, and then a webby to give her design a slight hint at her relationship to scrooge.

I was sketching scrooge and then realised he looks like a 2000s shonen protag... and went with it. And i am proud of it. The eyelashes now i realise kinda make him look like a ghibli character

When I did donald i kept in mind that he's at his current age while Scrooge was younger in the sketch, and also that his canon design hasn't got a lot in terms of hair. I decided to let it match Scrooge's in terms of colour and the bangs having the same number of spikes as well as the spikes in the back, but make it shorter because he's older and to match his canon design a bit. It's also messy because being a single parent for 10 years will do that. That's also why he has dark circles under his eyes (my headcanon will be now and forever that Donald is Scrooge's spitting image) His eye shape is meant to be the same as scrooge's too.

With Della I wanted her to be blonde to match the rest of the Duck-Mcduck family, who all have varying shades of blonde (Gladstone being pure bright blonde and Fethry is like a darker blonde that's close to brown) because Donald is the odd redhead cousin out of them all (yes lets give donald more reasons to be bullied in the family we love that). Her hair is canonically straight, so I kept that and made sure her bangs also had the spikes scrooge's have but like straightened and together. Her kids also have this hair colour too but their eyes are more of a grayer blue like scrooge and donald while della's are bright blue, but her eye shape is the exact same as scrooge and donald's but with less visible eyelashes. I wanted human Della to look like she's perfect and brilliant, a contrast to Donald who looks like he's barely holding his life together, and also because she hides her insecurities with a shield of confidence

Yes, i took webby's facial design inspo from Anya forger. I gave her a lot of visible lashes and then thought "ooo lets give them to scrooge so they match and there's like an indication in their design that they're related", so i did. As you can see her hair is very... pink in the blonde. I don't know how to colour strawberry blonde. Either way, she's supposed to have hair that's just a bit more red than blonde, just a lil' hint that she's related to donald and scrooge who are also red heads with bluish eyes. (Launchpad is obviously ginger too but his eyes are brown). The back of her hair is also meant to resemble young scrooge's too, as well as the lines in her bangs being equal to his spikes. Her eyes are very vibrant blue and I wanted them to be almost unnatural to hint she isn't exactly natural herself.

Anyway that's what i did instead of my coursework that one evening :)

#as you can tell i highly enjoy detailed character designs that have bits that are meant to represent something #also i am finding myself highly enjoying how diverse blonde hair can be #or maybe im bored of brown hair due to having very dark brown hair #the eye colour hc is from the classic disney ducks having their eyes literally blue #and the blonde is because i felt like having blondes and then a ginger made more sense than like brunettes and a ginger #or maybe i dont know how hair types in genetics work #dt17 #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #angel's art #angel draws

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 1 year ago

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aita for calling my roommate crazy?

I (28f) live with 2 other people, a former college roommate who I’m pretty close with (29f) and 2nd roommate (28nb) who we both met when we moved in together 2 years ago.

Let me start this out by saying, this isn’t a fandom aita, it’s going to sound a bit weird at first, but bear with me.

I have a medical condition (relevant later) which stopped most of my bones from maturing past puberty (growth plates closing, cartilage not hardening into bones, ect.), so my skeleton is basically stuck somewhere between 13-19, (I look about 17-19, but the last time I tried to buy hard cider, the cashier thought I was 14, so that’s how young I can look). I also have very pale skin (unrelated to my disorder, just a ginger), and (related to my disorder) lack some liver enzymes so I need eat meat or I get sick (the same reason why cats need to eat meat), I ended up in the ER when I lived with my vegan sister for a week and ate the same veggie diet as her.

Trouble is, Roommate 2 is really into conspiracy theories and other fringe stuff. Nothing alt-right or anything, just like, (for example) they fully bought into that Mermaids: the body found show, and wouldn’t be dissuaded, even when Roommate 1 googled it and showed them solid proof that it was fictional. Wholeheartedly believes the US government preformed 9/11, does alternative medicine (homeopathy, ect), wishes there were ‘all natural’ vaccines (still isn’t an anti-vaccer though, just needs to be persuaded that Bill Gates didn’t put microchips in them).

Anyway, Roommate 1 and I have a recurring joke that I’m a vampire because of the meat thing and the pale thing and the not aging thing. Roommate 2 overheard us and laughed, but weirdly. She kinda joked along with us, but she seemed...odd. About a week later, they start asking me stuff about being a vampire. But they seemed friendly and not nervous then and I was hoping they were just joking and I also sincerely thought they were just asking me about how vampires work on one of my shows (I’m a big fan of Carmilla and the Originals), so I tried to explain, but I cited each show when I’m explaining a thing. This continued for several weeks, but getting worse and more weird every time, eventually culminating about 2 and a half months later into them asking me more stuff about life as a vampire and I really realised that they were serious. Bear in mind, Roommate 1 and I were trying to be very clear that we don’t believe in vampires this whole time because we both know how Roommate 2 is about this. As a result, this was the first time I really registered that they seriously seemed to genuinely believe I was a vampire. I firmly told them that I am not a vampire and that vampires aren’t real, they’re fun to joke about, but they aren’t real. They implored me ‘to be straight with them about being a vampire,’ and that ‘I could trust them,’ and I’m ashamed to say, I kinda freaked out at this point, cuz I was afraid that they would be scared of me and maybe try to hurt me, since they seemed kinda unstable because of this.

This is where I think I was an asshole, I am usually very sensitive to mental health issues. I have some c-PTSD myself and there are a lot of mental health issues in my family (unfortunately, I think some history with my own mentally ill father may have made me react this way, since he has very similar issues to Roommate 2 (vaccines, alternate medicines, specifically involving me in his delusions) and I had a very bad experience in my early teens where he thought I was a demon and ‘sent to destroy him’). Anyway, I got very upset and I yelled at them, I told them they were completely crazy and needed to get mental help and said I thought Roommate 1 and I needed to move out because they might try to stake my heart or something. I feel really bad for calling them crazy, especially because Roommate 2 has some very mental health issues and words like crazy make light of and stigmatise that and I’m very big into not blaming people for their mental health problems, but this was very triggering and in this moment I was very distresssed.

So, aita, all things considered here? I’m still gonna feel like the asshole no matter what, since mental health problems aren’t to be taken lightly or blamed on the person, but I’m curious what the internet thinks.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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ryuichirou · 4 months ago

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with the characters who aren’t beastmen (or mermaids or fae) what sort of beastmen would you think they’d be? like deer silver, hare cater, bird of prey rook, etc. i wanna see y’all’s thoughts because there’s a lot of different possibilities that would fit each character :3c

The possibilities are endless…! Even if you decide to make someone a beastman, there are so many different options, so many kinds of animals. I am getting greedy even just thinking about it, but at the same time I am fighting the urge to say that everyone would be catboys and call it a day. I want to shove all of our bottoms in the cat café and spend all my money there…

I’ll try to keep it together, but also to keep things diverse 💪 But my first pick would be to make everyone catboys lol

I’m skipping beastmen/mermen/fae for now, but technically they could have their own list at some point.

Riddle – a meanie in me wants to say that he is a fae, but not the one that we are used to, but the small fussy one, similar to Tinker Bell lol Imagine this tiny thing being the loudest housewarden? It would be funny… But he would also be very cute as a goldfishie merman, sigh. Ironically, I actually don’t think he is either of these things; I think Riddle would be a beastman. Maybe a hedgehog beastman that people keep confusing with a mouse beastman because his spines aren’t very visible.

Ace – fox beastman, just like Fellow. I feel like this is pretty obvious, but still: he is cunning and sly, but also has his cute moments, just like a young fox making weird noises and acting like a playful puppy in one moment, and then biting your hand in the next moment. I think mentally Ace is stuck between being a cat and a dog, and I feel like a fox is a surprisingly good pick here lol He just feels like a ginger menace.

Deuce – of course, Ace’s counterpart would be a jackrabbit beastman; I feel like a fox and a rabbit are a classical combo, plus Deuce already has a rabbit motif related to him in a way. Deuce is specifically a jackrabbit because he is very fast, but also because while he isn’t naturally hostile or aggressive, he has his moments. And powerful legs for kicking.

Trey – definitely a beastman, but which one? Ironically I think a cat would be good pick for him, partially because of Che’nya, but he also feels like something more… bear-like, maybe? Or a badger? Something that could be confused for looking comfy and friendly when it’s just this nice man with cute ears, but actually quite ferocious when it’s needed. I feel like I’m missing something obvious here though.

Cater – I started thinking about hare Cater that you mentioned, immediately thought “well he’s good at multiplying” and had to punch myself for this joke. Now my face hurts so I’ll just day that Cater is a jabberwocky beastman. Alright, jokes aside, I still think he would be a beastman, but maybe some kind of cute and magicammable-looking carnivore. Like a weasel, for example.

Kalim – a mongoose would be so good, wouldn’t it? But I feel like Kalim would be something fancier and flashier; maybe a bird bestman? I know some people confused him with an animeboyification of Iago at first. A colourful bird that loves to sing and dance and that is at the same time endearing and annoying to some (Jamil). But bird-based beastmen are a bit difficult to imagine… I’ll complain about it in a bit when I talk about Rook lol Kalim could also be some kind of fae that are distantly related to jinns, but don’t have the same amount of power for some reason.

Jamil – I really want to make him a naga, but we don’t know if those even exist in twst-universe lol plus, it would probably be very difficult for his family to be active servants if they had snake tails… I think he would be a black caracal; it’s a desert cat, and apparently they are very good at jumping high – he’s a basketball player after all. Caracals are also known for hissing a lot, so yeah, as close to a snake as one could get while still somehow managing to make Jamil into a catboy lol Just google those ears, it’s so cute!!

Vil – a fae. There is the Blue Fairy from Pinocchio lol It just works with him, both aesthetically and thematically somehow. Plus I am still thinking about him picking Diasomnia if he was forced to choose any other dorm to join, which is of course not enough of a reason, but the idea of Diasomnia!Vil and fae!Vil still lives in my head. He would also be gorgeous as a betta merman, of course.

Rook – definitely a beastman, and I think it’s only fair to make him a bird of prey kind. I am not sure if that would make any changes to his appearance though; if Zazu’s equivalent is a beastman, then I guess Rook wouldn’t change much. But if he isn’t and we haven’t seen a bird beastman before, then maybe Rook would have some feathers… maybe even wings? But I also easily see him as a hunting dog.

Epel – another rabbit beastman!! He thinks Deuce is lucky because he is a jackrabbit with long ears and tall body, when Epel’s ears are smaller and way cuter because he is more of a bunny rabbit. His ma’s and meemaw’s ears are floppy, but his aren’t just yet, and he hopes it stays that way. When they’re floppy he looks even cuter… at least he still got those rabbit legs for kicking and angry stomping!

Idia – a merman. Yes, exactly, a firefly squid, who spends most of his life very deep underwater in isolation. I was hesitant to make him a merman at first because he is very tied to technology that is kind of incompatible with water (+ hehe Idia bald jokes), but hey, S.T.Y.X. is located underwater so the motif is there! Plus, the squid’s behaviour really fits Idia (Floyd is very good at nicknames). Plus, his hair being shiny also works with how dark it is in the deepest parts of the underwater world… But catboy Idia would be so cute ahhh…!!

Ortho – real!Ortho would also be a firefly squid merman, AI!Ortho would be a small clione-like creature that Idia crafted himself. Or maybe just a regular Ortho with the gear that is more suitable for swimming + hollow and sparkly. But also, alternatively, I think it would be super unfair not to mention that Ortho is a dogboy lol I don’t know how it works in relation to Idia, but Ortho is too much of a dogboy to ignore it.

Silver – fighting the urge to make him a fae because that would be missing the entire point AHHH, alright I love the idea of him being a deer beastboy! But also a rabbit because of the event… He is a jackalope lol Jokes aside, picturing Silver with beautiful deer horns is very easy. Birds would decorate them with flowers, or just sit on them… He is just like Bambi – the prince of the woods. But also also, Silver works well as a merman. Especially if he isn’t aware that he is one because Lilia made him drink potions ever since he was a baby.

#replies #headcanons

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newtthetranswriter · 6 months ago

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FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO WRITES FOR FAIRY TAIL!!!

Would you mind writing a Loke/Leo x Celestial Spirit!Reader? Maybe they're one of the Chinese zodiacs and they met because they both joined Fairy Tail!

The reader traveled to the human world to seek out a worthy person to have their key, and that's when they met Loke. They knew that he was celestial spirit, but kept it a secret. They ended up dating before Lucy came along.

Eventually, Loke became contracted with her while the reader got contracted to Angel. That was because she found her key before the reader had the chance to give it to Lucy.

For the scenario, can you write something during the fight with Lucy and Angel, where Lucy summons Loke and Angel summons the reader? I'd prefer angst pls!!! Thank you!!!

Word Count: 2328

Paring: Loke/Leo x Celestial Spirit! Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence, mentions of feelings of abandonment, possible ooc Loke, use of the nickname 'kitty' for both reader and Loke, reader's gender is never mentioned

A/n: Hello, I’m thankful for the request. I recently started a rewatch of Fairy Tail in preparation for the new series and realized how much I like Loke, so thank you for feeding my need for him. Anyway I decided to make the Reader the Tiger Zodiac from the Chinese Zodiac because I thought it’s be fun to put the two big cats together. Also because they likely wouldn’t call it the Chinese zodiac I called the Eastern Zodiac because the more Asian inspired parts of Fairy Tail were referred to as being from the Eastern Continent, just so it makes sense. Well without further ado, I hope you enjoy and as always remember to hydrate or diedrate.

The Jade Zodiac Keys are much harder to come by as not many wizards know of their existence so for one of us to get contracted we have to do the leg work. I personally grew impatient and decided to go find my key and then find a wizard I trusted with it. So, I left in search of my key and wizard.

It was long after I left, when I heard that one of the Golden zodiac spirits was banished from our home. Being the curious spirit I am, I went in search of the banished spirit. Eventually I stumbled upon a guild hall in the small town of Magnolia. Entering the Fairy Tail guild hall, I was immediately drawn to a ginger wizard surrounded by women. If it wasn’t for the familiar energy radiating from him I would have thought he was just another wizard, but being a spirit myself I was easily able to tell what he really was.

I quickly approached the table, catching the attention of the group. “Excuse me but could I speak with you for a moment?” I asked, picking up on the fact that he was likely hiding his true nature from those around him.

The ginger froze, likely figuring out what I was the same way I picked him out of the crowd. “Sure, who am I to deny a lovely creature like you, my attention.” His voice came off as flirtatious but there was an underlying hint of worry. He waved off the women, ignoring their whines, before standing up. “But, uh, not around here. Follow me.” With that he motioned for me to follow him out of the hall.

After walking for a few minutes in tense silence we reached a small clearing just outside of town. “So, did the Celestial Spirit King send you to kill me?” He said, turning to look at me over the edge of his glasses. “He finally decided that it would be easier than having a rogue spirit running about.” He was stating it like it was fact.

“No actually, I heard that one of the twelve golden zodiacs got banished and wanted to see if it was true.” I started earning a confused look. “So, what did the great and powerful Leo do to get exiled from his home among the stars?” I asked, while leaning against a tree.

I didn’t miss the slight glare he sent at my mockery of his title. “What’s it to you? Do you think I would really believe you came all the way from the celestial world to ask why I got banished?” He now sounded defensive. “Also it’s Loke now, I left the name Leo behind.”

“First,I didn’t leave the Celestial world just for you. If I just wanted to know what happened I’d have asked around there. Second, The jade keys that are bound to the Eastern Zodiacs are nearly impossible to find. So, I set out to find my key. Once I do that I’m gonna find a wizard I can trust to make a contract with.” I explained to the confused spirit.

He still looked confused but spoke up. “So, what exactly is the point of taking the time to find me? Just go find your key and leave me to enjoy what time I have left.” Loke said. “Why waste your time and energy to come talk to me, if it’s so difficult to find your stupid key.”

I looked at him shocked. “Put the claws away kitty. If I had any idea where my key was I wouldn’t be here. I came searching for you because I figured we could help each other out.” I stated.

“How exactly can you help me? Once I run out of magic I’m dead, unless you can somehow convince the King that I didn’t do anything wrong, there’s nothing you can do to help me.” He turned away, getting ready to walk away.

I nodded, moving away from the tree. “You’re right, I can’t convince the King you did nothing wrong. Because I have no clue what you did in the first place. But what I can do is share my power with you to give you more time.” I said placing my hand on his shoulder, demonstrating my proposal by pushing a wave of my own magic through him. He looked over his shoulder at me confused. “I can still return to the Celestial world whenever I need to recharge, you on the other hand won’t last much longer here without a supply of power. So, I’ll give you some of my magic every now and then, if you promise to help me find my key?” I asked hopefully.

Loke thought for a minute, before responding. “Sure, I’ll help you. But once we find your key, I want you to forget about me, and let me die in peace.” He sounded like he already accepted he was going to die sooner or later, and he was just agreeing knowing I would be persistent. I nodded in agreement. “Also, no one knows that I’m a spirit, the guild thinks I’m just a normal wizard. I don’t care if they know that you’re a spirit but no one and I mean one is to know what I am. Got it?”

“Whatever you say, Kitty. It will probably be easier for us if people think I’m also just a wizard, anyways.” I answered. “So, Loke, shall you introduce me to the guild I’ll be joining?” I asked, moving to walk in front of him.

He just rolled his eyes. “Yeah whatever. Just stop with the Kitty shit.” With that we made our way back to the guild hall.

Time skip to shortly before Lucy joins Fairy Tail.

It has been almost three years since I joined Fairy Tail. Loke and I have spent the time going on jobs and becoming closer, while also searching for my gate key. Though somewhere along the way my priorities changed. I was no longer worried about finding my key, I instead was focused on keeping Loke around for as long as possible. We had grown extremely close fairly quickly.

After only three months of working together, Loke asked me out on a date. During which he told me about why he was banished and told me that if that changed how I felt he would understand. Though he had nothing to worry about because after he finished his story, I pulled him close and promised that I would stick by his side. I had told him that had it been me, I would have likely done the same. With our new found understanding and bond we became almost inseparable.

Unfortunately for us, good things never last long. We had just finished up on a tough job and I had expended a great deal of my power. “Hey Loke, I’m going to return to the Celestial world for a bit to recharge. I’ll be back soon, Ok?” I said leaning on his shoulder as we sat waiting for a train to take us back to Magnolia.

“Yeah, ok. I’ll tell the guild you aren’t feeling well and decided to go home.” He said with a nod. “Don’t take too long though, I don’t know if I can cover for three months again.” There was a slight chuckle in his voice at the reference to the one time I forgot that a day in the celestial world is three months in the human world.

I laughed as well. “That was one time. Well I’ll be off. I love you and remember to stay safe Kitty.” I said placing a kiss to his forehead making sure to transfer the little extra power I had left, just in case I did take longer to recover than I planned. As I faded I heard a quiet ‘i love you too, kitty’ and couldn’t help but smile at our shared nickname for each other.

After resting for a few hours and recharging my power I started to get ready to return to Loke. But I was stopped by a familiar sensation that I hadn’t felt in so long. Before I could even register what was happening, I was pulled through the gate and was now face to face with white haired woman. One hand was on her waist while the other held a familiar green key.

“So you’re Y/n the Jade Tiger.” She said in a cold tone. “You are now my spirit and you will do as you’re told.” She said leaving no room to argue. Before I could speak she looked at me, noticing the guild mark on my hand. “Oh, you’ve been playing human have you? Well that’s over now. If I find out you returned to that reached guild, I’ll make sure you regret it.” It was clear from her tone that she was not one of the nice Celestial wizards. She viewed spirits as property and nothing more. “Now gate close, you better be ready to fight when I call you.”

Returning to the celestial world after being summoned was an odd feeling after spending so long coming and going whenever I chose to. I looked around my small section of the Celestial world trying to figure out how to return to Loke. I was now contracted to a wizard and though I had no say in the contrat it was now set, I had to obey her wishes. If I went against them, I would be exiled for breaking the contract and then there would be no way to help Loke. So, I resolved myself to sitting and waiting to be summoned, hoping that I could convince my new wizard to allow me to visit Loke if only once to explain what has happened.

Time skip to Lucy Vs. Angel

No matter how hard I tried to convince Angel to allow me on final visit to my old guild, she would never let it happen. It was fruitless to try and argue with her, so I just hoped Loke knew I didn’t abandon him. I worried constantly that he would fade away while I was away and just hoped that one day I could see him again.

My prayer to see him again was answered in a way I never expected. I had been sitting talking to one of the other Jade Zodiacs, when I was summoned. The trip between worlds always throws off my senses when I'm summoned, but once I opened my eyes and took in my surroundings I froze. Standing just feet in front of me was none other than Loke. His hair was longer now, and he was wearing a nice suit, but I could never forget those eyes.

“Loke, you’re okay. I was so worried about you.” I said moving to get closer to him.

I watched as a river of emotions flashed across his face. “I see you found your key, good for you.” It seems he settled on indifference for our reunion.

The blonde standing behind him looked at him confused. “You know this spirit Loke? Is she one of your friends?” She asked him.

“I know this spirit, or at least I thought I did. And no she’s not my friend.” It felt like I had been stabbed in the heart, hearing the malice that laced his voice.

Before I could speak again and explain myself, Angel spoke up. “Enough, I called you here to fight, not wallow in the past now take out Leo and kill that wizard so I can take her keys.” Her words caught everyone's attention.

I turned away from Loke, looking to the wizard I was contracted with. “You can’t expect me to fight him, anyone but him.” I said, holding back tears.

“You will fight whoever I tell you to fight. Now fight him.” Angel said clearly not wanting to deal with my defiance

I was about to retort but was interrupted by a wave of yellow light washing over me. Turning quickly I saw Loke preparing to fight. “What are you doing Loke? I can’t fight you. I know it seems like I abandoned you but I didn’t I promise. Please listen to me for five seconds.” I begged, as I began deflecting the punches Loke was sending my way.

“I don’t want to hear it. You broke your promise, you never came back. I almost died and you were nowhere to be found, had Lucy not been there I would be dead.” He spat as he continued throwing punches. I didn’t even have a chance to speak between deflecting his attacks and the words that honestly hurt more than any punch could. “I waited for you for months, saying that it was probably just taking longer for you to recharge. I waited in our apartment for you to show up and you never did. You abandoned me and now you’re contracted to this bitch, doing her dirty work. I thought you were going to give your key to someone you could trust.”

He only stopped when I lost my footing falling flat on the ground. “I never meant to be gone for so long. I tried to come back but I couldn’t. You have every right to hate me for leaving you when you needed me.” I said, holding back tears. “I’m just glad someone was able to save you.” Sitting up slightly, I turned to look at the blonde wizard that held Loke’s key. “I guess I should thank you for saving Loke.” I finished with a said smile. Before I could say more or hear a response, Angel closed my gate sending me back to the celestial world. Back among the stars, I prayed that Loke and his wizard would beat Angel. Even if I know that Loke will likely never accept my apology, I hope that he will someday know that I never meant to abandon him.

EDIT: part 2 is out now

#x reader #fairy tail x reader #loke x reader #fairy tail loke #leo x reader #fairy tail loke x reader #answering requests #newt writes #x gn! reader #loke x gn! reader

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quixtrix · 1 year ago

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rayman, eden's feel good american dream story; an analysis

guess who's back with taking ubisoft's silly guys and cutting them open. yknow, if you strip rayman of his personality, of all the behind the scenes we get of him, we get a run of the mill news reporter that is an immigrant, who by face alone serves as a shining ray of hope. he's easily something that by all means, can be classified as a diversity hire. immigrant, nonhuman (which in the world of clh can be considered to be equated with poc irl), and notably the only one in his work environment. don't believe me?

we rarely ever see anyone other than rayman on the show in the form of a coworker. the only time we do see other eden affiliated people, they are both white. "but you can't see red's face!!" there is a reason his dialogue makes you think of more right leaning people with their claims of 'wokeness is destroying everything' under something like april from tmnt being black and not ginger. he's a caricature meant to represent a specific group of people under fascism; those who have successfully consumed the fearmongering and have let it turn from fear of those that they are told are beneath them into hatred for them. there is also the fact that on live tv he throws up a middle finger, refers to an implied group of immigrant people as 'filthy interdimensional alien scum,' and seemingly gains no backlash for it. yes, the other reporter does try to give red a chance to go back on his words, but he sticks to it. and despite all of this, we get no indication that neither red nor the niji 6 had to apologise or received punishment for this. in fact, red is possibly given more chances by eden due to him being weirdly in charge of bullfrog's containment in a way? (i'm not entirely sure WHY he was there, but as he is one of eden's tv personalities, he's at a possibly televised trial of a terrorist.) now if you compare this to rayman, who also acted inappropriately on tv by literally saying fuck, you'd come to realise that rayman was treated so much more harshly. he was IMMEDIATELY replaced by a clone of himself, with no warning nor any indication that eden would do such a thing. it's very likely this was one of, if not the first time that rayman has slipped up like this on live tv. maybe it's a repeat offence considering his personality, but then you could argue that red is a repeat offender of the same shit and then you have to wonder why a soldier like red was not easily replaced but someone who is the literal face and voice of eden was with ease. it's because rayman made himself more than jus a story, he humanised himself by showing a peek of his raw feelings. remember that cute little exposition of the rayman kids show about hybrids? where we see all of these hybrids working as society's grunts and the kids are told to be thankful for hybrids? it's very sweet and gives a good message! now the rayman kids show is a product of eden propaganda, but rayman very much has a hand in it, most likely as a writer. he uses his platform to speak on issues that has happened and affected him. this can be seen in his biopic.

jus sit with this image for a moment. you ever think about why rayman is specifically made as an alien? why he's specifically an immigrant? in real life news reports and speeches, there is a difference in implications when people use immigrants and not aliens. you wanna know why?

as someone apart of an immigrant family myself, i live in a community of other immigrants. majority of them are hispanic, and while i myself am not hispanic, i am very aware of how hispanic immigrants were referred to and treated by politicians under trump's presidency. how couldn't i? even as children in middle school and elementary, we had discussions about what trump was saying because it directly targets my friends and their families. they are people targeted by a man who specifically uses derogatory terms to dehumanise them, to make it easier to justify in the average american mind that the government is doing the right thing by keeping out and protecting america from these so-called 'invading animals.' makes what red was saying earlier feel very on the nose, right? adi shankar, the showrunner for captain laserhawk, is also an immigrant man. immigrated from india, which by the way, did you know has a lot of people immigrating for the purpose of having a better life? that's a common sentiment that can be found in every single immigrant family's story. i've asked my filipino mother why she took an opportunity to live and work in america, and she told me it's because she wanted to give her children a better life than what we would have had in the philippines. hell, i bet if you share a similar background to me, you can ask your own parents the same thing and get the exact same answer, regardless if you came from latin america or africa, or asia. it's because of the concept of the american dream. everyone who has ever engaged with any degree of immigrant discussion has heard of the american dream. it's a concept that seems to be consistently proven via word of mouth, with the biggest examples being celebrities. they will always, without fail, eventually speak about the american dream within their backstories. and typically, they will use their platforms to further empower others within their community. it's why people from specific ethnicities tend to group together, why people make art meant as something akin to a homage to their people. it provides hope to the masses, makes you relate to the person on the screen, and believe that this society is truly a gracious one by providing opportunity. because yeah, it may be bad, but it could be worse. i mean we appreciate you! just look!

dont mind the fact that the majority of opportunities allotted to you is grunt work, the work where you at the base of the pyramid, with the harder jobs and the jobs no one wants to do. dont mind the fact you will be actively dehumanised, forced to work for hours in conditions we wouldn't put anyone else in, but hey. we appreciate you. we thank you. and yknow, you can become more than what you are. yknow, we let someone just like you be more than what you are! nevermind the fact that if they slip up, they'll be met with MUCH harsher criticism in comparison to someone who isn't you! aren't we so gracious? i probably sound a bit like matpat's insane out of context real world examples, but this show is filled with political imagery, so let me be. anyways, let's get back to eden and rayman. rayman, despite being specifically from dimension x as an alien, keeps hybrids in mind when he's doing his work.

people of colour tend to share solidarity with one another due to the fact that surface wise, we share similar struggles. to grossly oversimplify things, we all face discrimination through our appearances and are oppressed by the rules of a society created by our white oppressors. again, hybrids and dimension x immigrants can be equated to irl poc, and despite being different from each other, there is still community. rayman keeps them in mind, hoping to make things better for the overall nonhuman and nonnative (native as in naturally born) population of eden. but, rayman is not what he believes he is. because despite everything he has worked for, despite what he has tried to do, he is still a facilitator of the fascist regime that has an active hand in the perpetual oppression of his own people. one of the core concepts within fascism is us versus them. it's an easy way to instill fear (which is very much needed in fascism to make it easier to lie to the masses) and it's used in multiple layers, beginning with a large group (ex. us versus ussr, capitalism vs communism), then progressively sizing down (ex. saying all eastern europeans are communist, then going smaller and say all those affiliated with eastern europeans are communist) with the goal being to put people against each other and break up community since if you put your minds together, you'll start to realise that the fascist system is bullshit. what i've personally come to find is that in order to hide the fact that there is fascism lurking is that someone that can be considered a 'them,' an other, will be given a seat at the table. it's so they can be used as an excuse, a human shield, when they inevitably slip up and can be paraded to the masses as proof that the other is not as smart or powerful as 'us.' the 'other' within the 'us' is used as something to look down at, while also justifying to oneself that they have a place, that they are not being oppressed. they have an opportunity as much as anyone else! so long as they don't mess up. rayman messes up, and is shunned from 'us.' hes a mistake, impure, clearly not like 'us,' 'us' who had been so gracious to give this 'other' a place. he's cut out and discarded because he has well worn his purpose, and clearly, they can just get another little puppet. they'll dress him up and make him worthy of being one of 'us,' and make sure that this one won't fall to the fault of his little ideas. which is exactly what leads to rayman's transformation of ramon. being forcibly forced out and discarded by eden because he showed his true ideas makes him realise that there was no real place for him within the system. because what good is his work if it leads to what he tried not to create? it's worthless, just as the system it attempts to thrive in is.

tl;dr, rayman is a representation of the american dream, specifically celebrities. he tries to do what he can with his platform, but the fact is that within a fascist system, his impact is not entirely felt in the way he wants it to. that is why he becomes ramon.

anyways if you reached the end of THIS LONG ASS PIECE GOOD LORD thank you!! always open to discuss this and take criticism, my ask box is open in the lil 'who's asking' :^]

#this was a fucking long one my bad #this is inspired by saji sharma's video on mindy kailing #in the sense that it made a few things click nd well here we are #i'm on my fourth rewatch and yeah #yeah i had to say smth bc i dont think anyone has said shit abt this?#i blame the fact that i believe theres not that many poc doing the lil insane analysis thing i do #which is fine btw #also sorry if i got anything wrong !!#im slightly going off of my own memory sooo #captain laserhawk #rayman #clh rayman #captain laserhawk rayman #all the rayman tags bc idk what to do #character analysis

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indie-summer · 6 months ago

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The Cycling RPF Rec List

for @wtfanworkclassification

(tagging the blogs of the authors I know!!)

1. Favorite smut: a vocabulary, expanding by @strigimorphaes

It’s almost unfair that I made myself choose only one for each category, but yes, if I must, this is The One Smut for me. To put it mildly, it makes me weak in the knees every time I read it. It must have been like five times by now. To be read with the AC on and a glass of water by your side. Gotta love p*rn with feelings.

2. Favorite multi chapter: Faking It by @goingslightlymads

Am I biased when talking about this fic? Yes, because it was one of my Secret Santa gifts. Do I think I am unfair? Nope, not at all! I’ve never had any other experience in Cycling RPF like when I read (scratch that, binged) this one: it made me laugh and cry and it had my heart racing and had me hugging pillows at 3am. What a ride.

3. Favorite Sci-fi AU: jonas vingegaard goes back to the sea by @bakurasilver

Beautiful and clever. A reflection on the meaning of life and love, undercover as sci-fi. Bawled my eyes out with this one.

4. Favorite Fantasy AU: Fierce Creatures by @inbetweenpages

Great world building, incredibly fun and hot. Come here for wouthieu and stay for mathsper friendship, a very mysterious vampire!Jonas and a sentient house.

5. Favorite fluff: Worth it by @ridingupsaturn

Melancholic fluff. My favorite kind of fluff. Read it about ten times and had my heart fluttering through all of them. Love is kind of awesome, isn’t it?

6. Favorite angst: Drought by booming_business (part 2 of the A Study in Water series)

Shoutout to sad carpenter!Jonas who made a complete wreck out of me. The entire series is excellent, but this fic in particular is a masterpiece on its own! Also foundational exes!tadejonas fic before it was even a thing. Groundbreaking!!

7. Favorite drabble: doing what heroes do by @etapereine

I have two favorite types of drabbles: the one in which you feel like you read an entire story in just 100 words and the one that immediately makes you feel in absolute need of a 50k story as a follow-up because of all the possibilities it introduces you to. This one is definitely the second kind. I really need a full Percy Jackson AU long fic on my desk in, like, a week ago. Olympian demigods at the Olympics maybe??? Someone please???

8. Favorite crack/comedy: The 2024 Paris-Roubaix mass heat incident by Anonymous

Top 5 funniest shit I’ve ever read in my life and I’m not even exaggerating.

9. Favorite non-cyclists AU: all hearts in love use their own tongues by @thedeadparrot

I’m sorry, I’m not really a well-studied person when it comes to English literature. This is the only way I could ever read Shakespeare. I regret nothing.

10. Favorite remix/fix-it: Unbelievable, or only in Gotham by Lili_Writes_Banhof

Yes I’m parcial yes of course I am biased because it’s fixing one of my fics, but I don’t care. It’s cute, it’s fun, it’s fluffy (like all the awesome works from this author), you should all immediately go read it!

11. Favorite Soulmate AU: All your life by @interdisciplinary-disaster

I never once had given any thoughts about geese before this fic. Also this is the only cycling fic where the main character is not one of the cyclists, but an adorably exhausted old goose (at least the way I see it, because frankly, what a scene stealer). It changed my core!!

12. Favorite rarepair: Jonas is the boss by @mundanememory

Because ok, now everyone loves Jonas/Matteo but back in April it was a rarepair!! And this fic is awesome and hot and clever and features little big boss being… erm, well treated by a lovable giant ginger, so it deserves a million recs!

#cycling rpf #not here for the maillot scintillement it’s way too far out of reach #i just think these fics need to be read. period.

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pencildragons · 5 months ago

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ty for tagging me tessa @clayvedevs !!!!!!!!!

1. Do you make your bed?

NO. making the bed is evil and also too hard

2. Favourite number?

uhhh UHHHH 12 ? 12 is a good number i liked being twelve. 67 is also a good number !!

3. What's your job?

divine prophet of The Bog (extremely unemployed)

4. If you could go back to school, would you?

yes !!!! i lovee school i lovee learning & my hs? extremely chill

5. Can you parallel park?

yes fire emoji fire emoji fire emoji

6. Do you think aliens are real?

I feel like the possibility that there AREN'T aliens is extraordinarily low, even if they haven't evolved yet or would be completely unrecognisable as a form of life to us. the universe is still comparatively so so young so i feel the chances that at some point in the next quadzillion years that the circumstances of earth won't be replicated at least in part is hugely unlikely

7. Can you drive a manual car?

technically? i learnt to drive in a manual ute that is ABSOLUTELY not roadworthy but i did not get a manual licence :( sort of regret that but im sure if i got back in a manual i could do it again. probably

8. Guilty pleasure?

thinking in depth and forever abt my girl in middle earth oc hobbit fic that i havent properly written since like 2021. she means the WORLD to me i could make it sooo good if i just got over the evil puritans in my head telling me it is cringe

9. Tattoos?

soon!!! one day!!!! trust and believe!!!!!!!

10. Favourite colour?

loveeeeee yellow i love yellow so much soo much. unfortunately i am ginger.

11. Favourite type of music?

idk if i have a favourite TYPE of music persay? but ive sort of been bouncing between a mix of folk rock and Silly Power Metal and i will hit up the odd soundtrack also. wait actually this is untrue i am, embarrassingly, really into hyperpop (UNDERSCORES I LOVE YOU)

12. Do you like puzzles?

yeah! they're kind of evil and i am not great at pattern recognition and they hurt my back. but also v satisfying to do

13. Any phobias?

ants i fucking hate ants i HATE them (i stood in a bullant nest when i was 2) + also maybe thalassophobia? idk though that may have also been cured by the time i played 130 hours of subnautica in a week in december

14. Favourite childhood sport?

touch footie!!! i was very good at it lowk and i miss playing it terribly

15. Do you talk to yourself?

LMAO YEAH. when im thinking about writing especially. or doing literally anything. i will talk to myself

16. Tea or coffee?

TEA I LOVE TEA I LOVE TEA SO MUCH. i cannot drink coffee because The Side Effects + caffeine does not seem to have the intended effect on me, so i don't really drink caffeinated tea that much either? i absolutely LOVE rooibos with honey in it though one million out of ten

17. First thing you wanted to be when growing up?

i wanted to be a scientist because i was under the impression that scientists blew things up and that it was exclusively their job to do that. i still want to be a scientist tbh but for different reasons

18. What movies do you adore?

im so normal and regular and fine about the hobbit extended edition trilogy. so normal. no but fr i love unexpected journey i have watched it more than twenty times total and. five times in the last week and a bit LOL

Tagging:

@sithfox @hastalavistabyebye @patchmates @rockcattomato and anyone else who would like to !!!!

#tag game #words of wyrm

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sneezarify · 4 months ago

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oh allergies, I adore you 🥺

(I was looking through my drafts, and noticed I had made two very similar posts a year apart 😂 maybe I should make it an annual thing?)

Essentially, my nose in allergy season is the nose I want all year round! I’m so jealous of sensitive nose/all year allergy people.

Well, feels timely to share as my nose goes back to being boring 😝

2024:

“Some notably fun things to report from this allergy season so far:

I have become a red wine sneezer (!!)

I am more or less a morning sneezer now (I sneezed myself awake today).

I can’t drink ginger beer without triggering sneezes.

On a bad allergy day that becomes any sparkling drink.

I can often induce some stuck sneezes by rubbing the roof of my mouth with my tongue and can help stuck sneezes along by hitching or breathing slowly and purposefully.

On bad allergy days I can rub/press my nose the wrong way and trigger sneezes.

Inducing triggers FITS.

I’m much more sensitive to dust.”

2023:

(lol I was a lot more passionate this year)

“Ok ok, hear me out!

because I’m sick n tired of people not liking allergies more than colds.

Reason #10,000 that allergies are better.

During allergy season, my nose becomes x100 more sensitive, and trust me, I don’t have a sensitive nose. (I wouldn’t even sneeze from shaking pepper in my face normally)

Here’s a list of the weirdest things that have made me sneeze

The wind

Vaping

Rubbing my nose

Kissing someone

Drinking a fizzy drink

Grazing my tongue on the roof of my mouth

Like are you fkin joking me? What does a cold give you? A stuffy nose??? 😤

allergies are ELITE.”

see you next year 🤪

#Allergic nose #Is better than any other #I guess people with sensitive noses are like this everyday? What a life to lead 🤩#Why can’t it always be so fun #I love being sneezy #Fuck the other symptoms #Just give me a constant sensitive nose #It’s like my allergies unlock new allergies #Snz thoughts #annual hayfever review #snzfucker #snz kink #snz fet #snzblr #snz fucker #snz

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allmoshnobrain · 10 months ago

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𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫: 𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

part 03 of 06 | masterpost

word count: 4,7k | ao3 link | fic's playlist

"C’mere," he whispered, and I nodded quickly, sitting beside him on the couch. I sighed, glancing down at my hands, fidgeting nervously with my fingers. With him right there, I was all over the place, unsure of what to do with myself. My heart fluttered when he reached out, placing his hand on mine, and I felt my cheeks flush as I looked up and noticed just how close he was. "You wanted to chat, right?"

✦ on this chapter: james hetfield x female!oc, dave mustaine x female!oc, oc is cliff's cousin, +18, language, slice of life, angst, grief, pov change

✦ a/n: New chapter's here! First of all, I might not be able to update the next part on Monday. I'm halfway through writing it, but my days have been crazy busy, so it might take me a bit longer to wrap it up. But I swear, as soon as it's ready, I'll get it posted! This chapter is really special to me because we're diving into Dave's POV; I put a lot of heart into capturing his feelings just right, so I hope you guys like it. Feedback is welcome, thanks for reading! 🖤

✧ In terms of love, sunflowers symbolize pure and steadfast love, like Clytie who constantly gazed at Apollo. Therefore, giving someone a sunflower means telling them: “my love for you will be constant, and unchanged, like how the sunflower always faces the sun”. ✧

February 20, 1992

I sighed nervously, wringing my hands as I paced back and forth in my home's living room. After getting back in touch with Dave, we’d decided to meet up and have a chat about everything — the past, the present, and maybe the future. I didn't know what to make of his sudden reappearance in my life, unsure how it might shake up all the delicate balance I'd been trying to maintain lately. I’d left a message on James' voicemail the day before, filling him in on our reunion and our plans to catch up. Figured James should hear it straight from me, especially since he was the one who helped me hunt down Dave back in the day, spending months on end trying to track him down.

Now, though, it wasn't James occupying my thoughts, but Dave. I studied myself in the mirror; decked out in a cute dress, my cheeks flushed, my eyes gleaming with anticipation like they hadn't in ages. I'd even indulged in a touch of red lipstick, which now seemed a bit too much as I battled my nerves. Did I really care that much about whether he found me pretty?

I felt kind of silly, to be honest. But deep down, I knew I wanted to see him. I wanted to hear his voice again. Our call the day before had been brief, just a few hesitant words passing between us before I realized that talking on the phone wasn't cutting it. I needed to see him face-to-face, even if it was just to put a final chapter on our story once and for all.

I couldn't help but gasp with surprise when the doorbell chimed, my heart leaping into overdrive as a blush crept up my cheeks. Rushing to the door, I swung it open, my smile widening as I met Dave's gaze, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hands. He didn't even seem real, a vision straight out of a dream, his ginger hair catching the sunlight, his eyes filled with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. It was everything I’d ever wanted, seeing him again like this, as if all my dreams were being handed to me on a silver platter.

"You’re here," I murmured dumbly, which earned a soft chuckle from him.

"Hey. Of course I am," he said, handing me the bouquet of sunflowers. I blushed as I accepted them, a delighted grin stubbornly forming on my lips. "These are for you."

"Oh, thanks, Dave," I replied, trying to contain the urge to throw myself into his arms right then and there. It seemed Dave was grappling with a similar hesitation; he reached out, lifting my chin, his thumb tracing my cheek. I sighed, feeling my heart kick up a notch. "So... you wanna come in?"

We stepped into my place; Dave plopped down on one of the couches in the living room while I scurried off to find a vase for the flowers. I rummaged through the kitchen cabinets and found one, filling it with water in a hurry. Carrying it back to the living room, I set it on a small table near the window. Turning back to Dave, I caught his calm smile, feeling the weight of all the unsaid words hanging in the air between us.

"I... Yeah," I murmured, then sighed, trying to calm myself. "Dave... Last time we were together... The day you ended things with me..." I hesitated, seeing a storm of sadness and hurt stirring in his eyes, but he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, urging me to continue. "That day... it was a mess. Most of it was my fault, but... I swear, Dave, I didn't cheat on you with James. I..." I struggled to keep going, feeling the weight of old wounds reopening, tears threatening to spill over and choking my voice. "Please," I finally choked out, my voice barely above a whisper. "Please, believe me. I can explain everything, I..."

I couldn’t keep talking; suddenly, the doorbell rang. I jumped, glancing nervously at Dave as the sound repeated.

"You should get that," Dave said, offering me a faint smile, though tension still lingered in the air. I nodded anxiously, making my way to the door.

I swung the door open, and there stood James.

"James?" I blinked, tension gripping my body. "What are you..."

"I got your voicemail. Where is he?" he growled, seizing me by the shoulders and shoving me aside before I could answer. Oh no, I thought, trailing after him into the house. He marched in with long, heavy strides, heading straight for the living room where he found Dave, who rose to his feet at the sight of him, a tempest brewing in his hazel eyes. "You!" James bellowed. "What do you think you're doing here?"

"James, chill!" I clutched his arm, meeting his eyes with a mix of exasperation and pleading. "We're just having a conversation. I told you we agreed to talk!"

"So now you have to report every move to him?" Dave shot back, his brow furrowing at me.

"Take a look in the mirror, man. Like you weren't a control freak when you two were together. You think I don't know you guys fought every time Nore wanted to see us?" James snapped, and Dave's jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides.

"I ain't here to chat with you, Hetfield. It's best if you bounce," he growled, his tone carrying a hint of threat. I glanced between James and Dave, my pulse quickening. Oh no, not this again.

James chuckled, dripping with sarcasm.

"Ain't here to chat with you either, Mustaine. But you've got some serious nerve rolling up here after all the crap you pulled. You don't get to waltz back into her life like nothing happened. Like you didn't hurt her."

I gawked at James, my eyes widening in surprise. So, that's why he'd shown up? To defend me? All along, I figured if I crossed paths with Dave again, he'd be stoked for me, b ut clearly, that wasn't the case.

"Funny," Dave shot back, a wry smirk curling his lips. "Real funny, coming from you. Like you and Lars didn't pull the shit you did on me. Like you weren't trying to steal her from me from the start. You reckon I didn't catch the way you looked at her?"

"Well, in the end, I came out on top, didn't I?" James edged closer, his tone dripping with venomous irony. "I got the band, and I got the girl. What about you?"

"James, knock it off!" I interjected, and both of them swung their gazes towards me, as if just remembering I was there. "Did you forget Dave's here 'cause I invited him? I wanted to sort things out with him, alright? Lay off him!"

James arched an eyebrow, clearly taken aback and a bit peeved by my response. I held his gaze, my cheeks flushing under Dave's watchful eyes, but I refused to break eye contact with James, a silent exchange playing out between us. He eventually rolled his eyes and made his way to the door.

"Ugh," I grumbled, frustrated, trailing after him. "James, come on!"

"What the fuck, Nore!" he exclaimed, wheeling around, and I instinctively took a step back. "What the fuck were you thinking, inviting this guy over?"

"I already told you I needed to talk to him! James, he deserves to know the truth. It's not right for him to keep believing I did him dirty like that..."

"That was ages ago. Why's it such a big deal now?"

"Of course it's a big deal! And what you and the guys did, booting him out of the band, matters too. You should at least say you're sorry..."

"Here you go again, sticking up for him like he didn't fuck up," James growled, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Don't you dare roll your eyes at me! All these years, I've done nothing but love and protect you. He fucking left you! He left you high and dry, then went around bad-mouthing you to everyone without even considering your feelings, without even giving you a chance to explain. Did you ever think that you could've set things straight ages ago if he'd stopped to listen? You shouldn't even give him the time of day, Nore."

"James, we were kids ," I said, my voice quieter now , trying to bring some calm to the heated moment, trying to make him understand. "I messed up plenty too. You cheated on your girlfriend to be with me. We're no saints here, okay?"

"Well, if you think this guy is here to just patch things up and be buddies afterwards, you're dead wrong, alright? Dead wrong, and you know it. Bet he's still sore about losing you, because if he's not over getting booted from the band, would he really be over that?"

"And why does that even matter? This isn't about him moving on from me or not, it's about us making things right..."

"Yeah, well, I don’t give a shit about making things right with him."

"And that's the fucking problem!" I exclaimed, frustrated. "There was a time when you'd get why this means so much to me. There was a time when you'd want me to do what makes me happy! So either you were bullshitting me or you've changed so much that you just don't give a damn anymore. Honestly, I don't know which is worse."

James stared at me for a moment, hurt and shock in his gaze, the same old hurt that always resurfaced between us — the hurt of not being able to understand each other anymore. He sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips as he closed his eyes.

"What happened between us and him is in the past," he growled. "I don't need to keep going over that, and I sure as hell don't owe him an apology. If you feel like you do... Don't come crying to me when he screws you over again."

"James..." I started, reaching out to grab his hand, but it was too late. He shook his head, pulling away, and stormed off, hopping into his car and slamming the door shut before speeding off. I watched him leave, my heart pounding as tears welled up in my eyes, wondering if I'd ever find a way to make things right with both Dave and James without causing even more hurt along the way.

☆

I've never been one to let things slide easily.

Holding onto grudges was kind of my thing. In a world that had kicked me and spat on my face since day one, anger had been my go-to move, sword and shield rolled into one, keeping me safe from the emptiness that always lurked.

Sometimes I'd been pretty good at channeling that anger into something productive, but other times? Well, let's just say it was a rocky ride. It was like walking a tightrope, flirting with self-destruction, and usually, things didn't end well — not for me, and definitely not for the people around me.

Grudges kept me on my toes. They kept me sharp. Couldn't forget, couldn't let myself get fooled again by someone who'd already done me wrong. And I was cool with that, like a ticking time bomb kind of cool, until I thought I found someone who got me. Someone who could put out the flames, show me the softer side of life, the morning sun's warmth instead of the heat of a fire.

She had always been my Achilles' heel.

We were lost children, lost in the haze of our youth, drowning our sorrows in booze, trying to escape everything that hurt us. I started falling for her then, in a simple way, because she was like me, yet she was good. Kind in a way that baffled me, that I couldn't wrap my head around. How could she see so much good in me when I couldn't even see it myself? How could she trust me so completely, with a trust that scared the hell out of me because I wasn't used to that kind of tenderness, that kind of affection?

Before I knew it, my love had turned into devotion. A devotion so deep it mingled with the marrow of my bones, making me stronger and weaker in equal measure. ‘Cause when I lost everything but her, the fear that she might be next only drove us apart.

Eleanore. Eleanore. Nore.

It wasn't a walk in the park to forget her after it all went south. For the longest time, I wanted to forget her, to despise her just like I did with Lars and James for booting me out of Metallica. After some time, it became a piece of cake to act like I didn't give a shit, that I was better off without her, that I was over her and ready to move on, diving into other kisses, other lovers. Drowning myself in whatever substance I could find, anything to drown out the hollow feeling inside.

But without her shining light, I was adrift.

As weeks turned into months and months into years, my fury toward her slowly simmered down enough for me to see that what I felt wasn't anger, but love. A love wounded and raw, twisting my heart in an endless pit. I longed for her, but it was too late; it wasn't rocket science to figure out that she and James were living the dream of a perfect relationship while folks seemed to get a kick out of keeping me posted on every move Metallica made without me. And I tried to sell myself the story that it was for the best; that if she’d left me, it was better for her to be with someone who truly lit up her world. That I wasn't, and had never been, good enough, worthy enough of her love.

And to add insult to injury, it's not like I didn't have my own demons to wrestle with. As the years rolled on, my reliance on any and all substances that could numb me from reality grew worse by the day, until it reached a breaking point. My first go-round in rehab fell short; I found myself making repeat visits to those gloomy facilities more times than I could tally up. And all along, I was just searching for something, anything, to reassure me that I was headed in the right direction. Something that could pull me back from the brink, something that could save me.

And then I found her.

As fleeting as our reunion had been, it was enough to shatter any facade of normalcy I had managed to cobble together. Because deep down, I knew that after laying eyes on her again, I couldn't live with myself if I let the opportunity to reconnect slip through my fingers. It was like her presence had wiped away all the pent-up anger I harbored inside. But beneath that anger lurked pain and fear. After all, hadn't she chosen James over me in the end? How could her reappearance not feel like a mirage, especially when she had once shown me the purest, most sincere form of love, only to snatch it away and make me believe I didn't deserve any of it?

That I didn't deserve her. And that she was worthy of something better.

When she asked to meet up to discuss the past, I couldn't bring myself to refuse. How could I deny her anything? And there I was, the Dave Mustaine, known for my sarcasm, anger, and aggression, completely bending to the whims of a woman. But not just any woman.

Her.

I found myself buying her flowers and eagerly anticipating our meeting like some lovesick teenager. Not because I was after a quick fuck or a girl dazzled by my wealth and fame, but simply because it was her. And God knows how when she was around, it was like everything else faded into the background. I dared to hope that her sudden reappearance in my life, after so much pain, emptiness, and longing, was a sign that good things were on the horizon.

But life's never that simple, is it?

Then James showed up, with his anger, arrogance, and disdain. My heart sank as I watched the intimate exchange between them, even in the midst of a fight. The silent communication in their glances held the weight of years of companionship, two souls deeply entwined on the same journey. And I couldn't help but envy James because he knew a side of her that I no longer did. He had stolen it from me, something I’d lost when I was deceived and betrayed by those I once considered my family.

But as I listened to their argument, and her desperate pleas for him to understand that all she wanted was to make things right and explain herself, I couldn't help but remember one of the things that had made me fall head over heels in love with her in the first place: her unwavering loyalty, always ready to defend those she cared about, the same loyalty that had her standing by my side without a second thought when my world came crashing down. Loyalty. I swear I never cheated on you with James. That's what she’d said, right? And I realized I believed her, but that didn't make things any easier. Because if that was true, then had I truly shut her out of my life, without even giving her a chance to explain herself, all over some stupid misunderstanding?

It wasn't surprising that James was furious with her for still holding onto any hope of patching things up with me. Fuck . I mean, it wasn't like this was anything new, but had I really been that big of an idiot?

I didn't even deserve her to look at me. I should just leave, spare her from my anger, my bitterness, and my mistakes. But how could I when she was right there, her blue eyes shimmering with tears she tried to choke back, so close and so real?

"I'm sorry, Dave," she whispered, her voice shaky. "I didn't know James was gonna barge in here and stir up such a mess, I..." She sighed, seeming lost for words, wrapping her arms around herself, looking so confused and alone that I couldn't resist. Striding over to her, I pulled her into a hug, holding her tight against my chest, hoping against hope that this would be enough for her to grasp everything I was feeling but couldn't put into words. She smelled like cinnamon and cardamom and this unique sweetness that was just her, and it made me ravenous. I buried my face in her hair, one hand gripping the back of her head while the other pulled her closer, and she hugged me back, like she was afraid I'd vanish if she let go, tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"You were telling the truth, huh?" I murmured, my heart aching. "You and James... You weren't really together that day?"

"No," she sobbed, her voice heavy with sorrow, and I held her even tighter. "No, we weren't..."

"It's alright. It’s okay, sweetheart," I whispered, the pet name slipping out without me even realizing it, the weight of my mistakes threatening to crush me with regret. I wanted to cry too, but I couldn’t, not now. I had to stay strong for her. "I'm here. Let it out, I'm here."

I held her until her sobs subsided, her breathing slowing down. She pulled back a bit, looking up at me, her face tantalizingly close to mine, and I had to use all my strength not to kiss her right there .

"You don't wanna chase after James?" I questioned, trying to hide the distress in my voice. She shook her head, looking like she might burst into tears again any second.

"No, not right now. It'd just make everything worse. We'd end up arguing more,” she whispered, her cheeks damp from her tears. “He's angry, Dave. And he's been holding onto that anger for ages, and I don't know how to help him..."

"Hey, it's alright. You'll figure it out, I'm sure."

"We weren't together. I mean, that day," she started, breaking away from my embrace and heading to the couch, where she took a seat. I took a seat too, unable to stand even a moment apart from her. "I knew James had feelings for me. I knew because he'd kissed me once, out of the blue, and I knew I couldn't keep ignoring the way he felt."

She paused, and I nodded, pushing down the surge of jealousy and anger bubbling up inside me.

"I… I liked him too. But I loved you. I was so, so in love with you. And I’d chosen you . I would always, always, always have chosen you. That day, running into him was just a total coincidence. I didn’t even know he was gonna be there. I mean, I get it now, I should've told you everything back then. But honestly, I was scared stiff. Didn't wanna risk pushing you even further away. It was all my fault..."

"No," I cut in, squeezing her hand, small, soft, and warm, in mine. "No. I should've let you explain. You were my girlfriend, after all. I owed you that much, Nore."

"I tried to track you down afterward, you know, to explain myself," she confessed, her voice choked, those pleading blue eyes of hers practically begging for understanding. "But it never quite panned out. And then..."

"And then?" I prodded gently. She glanced away, nibbling on her lower lip, like she was wrestling with the right words. I gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, urging her on.

"And then... There was that song."

I let out a rough breath. Mustaine, you fucking idiot. She didn't have to spell it out. I knew exactly which song she meant, a tune born from my anger and bitterness, a misguided attempt at bravado fueled by some foolish hope that she'd hear it and come chasing after me, even if it was just for a fight. But in the end, it only drove Nore farther from me. If there was a prize for boneheaded moves, I'd have been on that podium in a heartbeat.

"And you never bothered to find me," she murmured, her voice laced with hurt, her gaze dropping to her hands, her lower lip trembling just enough to betray her pain. It was like watching a wounded bird, helpless and vulnerable after falling off its nest.

God, how I longed for her to forgive me, even for the sins I had not sinned.

"I tried," I admitted, and she glanced up at me quick, cheeks flushing the sweetest shade of pink, those blue eyes of hers sparkling like they could stop my heart. Why was she happy to hear that? Why was she messing with my head like this? Didn't she love James now? Tears threatened to well up again, the lump in my throat tightening. I couldn't stand this. "I did try. But you were gone. Off touring in Europe with him. And then a year later or so, Cliff pops up at one of my gigs. I asked about you, wanted to see you. But he shut me down," I revealed bitterly. "Told me to get over it. Said you and James were together. That you were in love. So I threw in the towel."

She looked utterly surprised, like it was news to her. After all these years, I'd figured she didn't give a damn. So why the sudden interest? Why act like she didn't know? It felt like she was ripping my heart out all over again. Because, painful as it was to admit, I still loved her. I had never, ever, ever stopped loving her. And now she was back in my life, with those piercing blue eyes and that gentle heart, thinking she could save me, thinking she could fix things. Innocent. Pure. Wasting her heart on the wreck that I was.

And I couldn't even muster the guts to lay it bare — that I was a screw-up. That I was useless, that she oughta go off and be happy with James 'cause she'd never fix what was broken in me. I didn't deserve that. But I wanted it — I wanted to be near her. I was too damn selfish. I wanted her goodness. Her innocence. I needed it to belong to me, and only me, and no one else.

I didn't deserve her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, gripping my hands tight. "I just... I thought you didn't want me around anymore. I didn't know, Dave," she sniffled. Was she crying? She shouldn't be. She hadn't done anything, anything wrong. Maybe I should've pushed harder. Maybe I should've listened. Maybe I should've gone after her, fought for her. But now, it felt too late.

"I should go," I muttered, even though it tore me up inside. "I don't want... You and James, Nore, you two are together..."

"But we're not, " she blurted out. I went still, locked into her blue gaze. Please, don't toy with me like this. "Things with James, Dave... They're complicated. But we're not together. Not like that. We..." Her voice hitched, and all I wanted was to hold her, to never let her go, to never let her cry again. "We're both broken. Cliff's death... It tore us apart."

And there it was. That vulnerability. I'd noticed it, how she seemed fragile now compared to the lively girl I once knew. This was new, and it broke my heart that she’d changed to feel ruined. It crushed me that the happy, determined, kind girl I once knew had become a wounded woman. A woman still grieving, even years after losing the one who'd shaped her world.

And it stung even more that I was such a worthless piece of shit that I felt selfishly relieved to hear she and James were no longer together.

"Please, don't string me along like this," I managed to whisper. She chuckled, her voice trembling, then met my gaze.

"Dave. Would I lie to you about something like this?" she asked, almost sweetly. Oh, this devil of a woman. If only she knew how she had me in the palm of her hand right then. "Please... I don't want you to leave."

"What should I do?" I practically pleaded. Just tell me what to do because I can't take this anymore. I want to hold you. I want to kiss you. I want to—

"Stay with me," she breathed, her fingers weaving through mine. My heart raced, disbelief flooding me. I didn't deserve it, this happiness. I didn't deserve her.

Yet there she was.

Yet she wanted me.

My hand shook as I reached out to touch her face gently. I traced the curve of her lower lip with my thumb, watching as she blushed, her lips parting ever so slightly, anticipation gleaming in her eyes. I pulled her close, my mind racing as much as my heart, and kissed her, our lips moving together, my tongue exploring her mouth eagerly, tasting her like it would be the last time. Because maybe it would. Maybe this was all just a dream, and I would wake up in my cold bed, miserable and stupid and alone without her.

Because this was too good to be true. That a woman this small could hold this much power over me, over my heart, felt almost like a joke. But there she was. She was beautiful. She was kind.

And she wanted me.

✧ if you'd like to be tagged on the next parts, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list! ❤ ✧

tag list: @killazilla777 @whatsupvic @70srogah @genswine9 @twice360noscope @ilovepapahet

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stargazer-sims · 6 months ago

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TLC (1)

Nikolai comes home to find Mishka and Alexander asleep on the couch. It's out of character for Mishka to be sleeping at this time of the evening, but Nikolai chalks it up to him probably having a busy day. Nikolai has been out of the house for most of it, after all, leaving Mishka to look after Alexander on his own for much longer than usual.

Nikolai: *to himself* How adorable are they?

Nikolai: Mishka? Wake up, sweetheart. You're going to have the worst kink in your neck if you stay here like this.

Mishka: *mumbling* Mmm... what?

Nikolai: There you are.

Mishka: What? Oh... hello. You're back. How did it go?

Nikolai: It's going good, but please tell me why I agreed to help with an off-season ice show. If I'd known how much work it'd be to help organize one as well as letting myself get talked into skating in it, I might've said no.

Mishka: No, you wouldn't have. You were so excited when Beth-Anne asked you, and I know you love to take every chance you get to skate for an audience.

Nikolai: Okay. You're right. I am excited for it. It's just that I'm used to having a lighter schedule in the off-season.

Mishka: You're not going to be doing this every summer.

Nikolai: No, I won't. The last time we had an ice show at Seaport Place was... I think five years ago? I didn't have to do anything that time, except get myself and a couple of my top students ready. Of course, the good news this time is that Eden, Katie and Brett are helping a lot with the younger kids.

Mishka: Is Beth-Anne going to skate too?

Nikolai: She says she is. Uncle Stan somehow got coaxed out of retirement to coach her, or so he says, but really I think he just showed up at the rink because Ginger did. I don't think he wants to let her out of his sight.

Mishka: Oh! Ginger's well enough to go out now? Did she have Rowan with her?

Nikolai: Yes, and yes. I'm pretty sure it'd take more than giving birth to keep her away from the rink, even if she's only allowed to sit on the bench and watch the rest of us.

Mishka: That reminds me of someone else I know.

Nikolai: Except I didn't give birth.

Mishka: You know what I mean. I'm not sure what would keep you away from the rink.

Nikolai: You could.

Mishka: I'd never ask that from you.

Nikolai: I know, but I would do it if you needed me.

Mishka: I know, and I love knowing you would.

Nikolai: And how about you, little champion? What kind of adventures did you have with Papa today?

Alexander: *happy noises*

Mishka: He's reaching for things on his own now, and I think he's going to be able to roll over by himself soon.

Nikolai: Well done, Sasha! Were you helping with the gardening and housework today too?

Mishka: We didn't do much housecleaning today. I wasn't feeling well, so we decided to relax.

Nikolai: I didn't know you weren't feeling well. Why didn't you tell me when I came home for lunch? I could've taken Sasha to the rink with me so you could rest. There were loads of people there who could've helped to watch him.

Mishka: I didn't think it was that bad.

Nikolai: That sounds like there's a 'but' coming. How are you feeling now?

Mishka: Worse than at lunchtime. I thought maybe I was just tired, but I slept for... I don't even know how long I was asleep, and now I feel more exhausted than I did before. Maybe I'm coming down with something.

Nikolai: Do you want me to take your temperature?

Mishka: Yeah.

Nikolai: And make you something light to eat?

Mishka: I'm sorry! I was supposed to have food ready for you when you got home. I don't know how I forgot. You've been working so hard, and—

Nikolai: Mishka, it's all right. I can make us both something. What would you like?

Mishka: *softly* I'm not hungry.

Nikolai: Are you sure?

Mishka: Yeah.

Nikolai: Why don't you go upstairs and lie down? Maybe I'll call my parents to see if they can come over and take Sasha to their place, so you can have a break.

Mishka: I don't know.

Nikolai: You can think about it. Let me just get the little man settled, and then I'll come upstairs and check on you. Do you think you need an ibuprofen tablet or anything?

Mishka: *sniffling* I... I don't know.

Nikolai: Don't worry. You don't have to figure it out right this second. Go get into bed if you want, and we'll take everything one step at a time after that, okay?

Mishka: *whispering* O-okay.

#ts4 #sims 4 #brindleton bay #nikolai pavlenko #mishka vasiliev #alexander pavlenko #stargazersims

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jessicaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 11:

‘Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be…

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"I’ll be back at the end of January, you’ll have almost 6 weeks! And I want you to keep everything in mind. Do your exercises, mediation, eat the right stuff. And really eat it, I want that blood test regularly. But above all, speak to your family, to Charles. Tell them the truth, Liz. Maybe not everything. But at least some parts. Okay?" JK said and I nodded.

"I will, I promise! And thank you, really JK! Without you I never would’ve made it this far!" I said and hugged him "Enjoy your time at home! Have a safe trip! And send some pictures!"

"I will Liz! Go now, I don’t want you to catch a cold! Oh and don’t forget to schedule your appointments with Christian!" he ushered me inside and with one last smile I walked through the door and quietly closed it behind me. It was quiet in the house. Given the early time, no wonder. I took my shoes off and rolled my suitcase to the side. I inhaled deeply, it smelled like pine wood, cinnamon, orange and ginger bread. The typical smell of Christmas at home. The house was beautifully decorated, Mum went all out, probably because the Leclercs were coming as well. I walked upstairs into my room. I missed it. They kept everything the way it was when I was leaving. Just that Mum changed the bedding. I opened my closet, grabbed one of Charles' oversized hoodies and a pair of leggins and made my way into the bathroom, trying to make as little sound as possible. I quickly washed myself a little and changed into my fresh clothes. Back in my room I decided to lay down for a bit, it was only 5:30 in the morning, until everyone was awake it would take a while. Just as I snuggled into the bed, I heard a car outside, it sounded like whoever it was, was driving really slow down the street, as to not wake anyone up, but I knew the sound of that engine all to well and as the car stopped seemingly in front of our house, I was sure. Charles.

I sat up and looked out of my window and there he was, parking in our driveway, engine off, lights out and head leaned back into the headrest. But it didn’t look like he would get out. I waited for another 5 minutes but Charles didn’t move. Was he going to sleep in the car? I quietly walked down the stairs, put on some boots, unlocked the front door and walked out into the cold. Straight to Charles' car, he didn’t see me coming, eyes closed, so I gently knocked on his window and he jumped up. I smirked at him and he unlocked the car, but before he could get out, I walked around the car and got into the passenger seat. Silence. Charles looked at me. I looked ahead.

"Ma belle, I am so sorry! Please, believe me when I say that it wasn’t easy at all, reading your messages and not answering them immediately! Please, please, please believe me! My heart almost broke every time I received a new text! JK said it’s the best for you and I would’ve done everything to help you! Please believe me!" he said and I slowly turned to him, his eyes glassy, he hesitated as he reached for my hand but I didn’t pull it away and he gently grabbed it "I’m so sorry!" his voice was hoarse and he looked at me, pleading.

"But why didn’t you text me after I told you that I knew about it? After I told you that you hurt me?" I whispered, looking at my hand in his.

"What? No… no! I did! Immediately as I got the message I answered you! Told you how hard it was to ignore you! That it broke my heart and that I’m so incredibly sorry! I sent it right before we took off!" he said hastily and I looked up at him "As soon as I was able to switch on my phone again in Bahrain, I checked it for an answer from you, but there was nothing… so I thought you were ghosting me now, not that I didn’t deserve it… but still. I thought it was your decision to answer me again whenever you feel ready!"

"I didn’t receive it…" I said and Charles looked at me confused. "I sent you the text and waited for an explanation, but you didn’t reply… I thought that it was maybe because of…" I began but Charles was frantically looking through his phone as he paled visibly, he looked up at me "What?"

"The message… it’s not sent… it didn’t get through…" he whispered and looked at me guilty "I am so sorry, ma belle! I’m just so, so sorry!" he shook his head and looked down in his lap. I sighed and leaned back, putting the seatbelt on "What are you doing?"

"You know Dad’s rules! When you come back home early in the morning on a Sunday…" I began and Charles chuckled.

"… make sure to stop at a bakery for fresh bread rolls and pretzels!" he finished the sentence and put his seatbelt on as well "But it’s not even 6? You think they’re open already?"

"Most of them open at 6, we should be good. Now come on, I’ll guide you!" I said and he started the engine "Oh damn, we should’ve taken my car!"

"I’m not driving in your Mini! Nope, way too small!" he complained and backed out of the driveway.

"Oh come on! You love him!" I chuckled and Charles sighed.

"I never understood why you and Seb had to give your cars names! They’re cars!" he mumbled as I signaled him to make a left turn.

"You asked Arthur if he hurt your girl, when he nudged me and I bumped into your car only a little!" I laughed and Charles blushed a little "Turn left here. Alright look, they're just opening up!"

20 minutes later we walked quietly into the open kitchen and were greeted with a huge Christmas tree, beautifully decorated.

"Wow, Mum really went all out!" I whispered and Charles smiled "Come on, let’s set the table and prepare as much as possible, then head to bed for a little sleep."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" he saluted mockingly and I rolled my eyes. We set the table, put the paper bags with the fresh baked goods into a basket. And quietly walked up into my room, at the door Charles stopped.

"What?" I asked him and he shrugged a little.

"You didn’t want to share a bed with me for months… I can sleep in the guest room?" he answered a little shyly. I grabbed his hand and pulled him through my door and closed it behind us.

"Your mum will get the guest room, Enzo and Arthur will get the office and you are stuck with me. But yeah, you’re right… it’s still not okay… so umm, take the sofa? Maybe?" I said and nodded to the sofa in the corner.

"Yeah, that’ll do…" he answered and I opened my closet and took out a linen sheet, a pillow and a blanket, then I spread the sheet over the sofa and placed the pillow and blanket on it.

"Alright, I still have some clothes from you here…" I nodded to the side of the closet with some of his clothes and he nodded, then picked out a gray t-shirt and black sweatpants.

"I’ll get my suitcase later. And I’ll carry yours upstairs as well…" he said and turned around and changed. No matter how many times I saw Charles’ naked back, it always made me hot. His thick neck, wide shoulders, strong back muscles and slim waist. As he turned around I blushed a little and cleared my throat.

"That would be amazing, thank you Charles!" I mumbled and climbed into my bed "Now come on! I’d say until everyone is awake, we have at least 2 or 3 hours of sleep we could get." I snuggled into my pillows and blankets and Charles did the same. After a while I chuckled.

"What?" Charles mumbled and I saw his head slightly turn into my direction.

"Why are you here so early and did you seriously plan on sleeping in the car?" I asked.

"I left Maranello kinda in a rush and well… yeah it was too early to ring the doorbell!" he chuckled, although he sounded nervous somehow.

"Oh Charlie bear, have you forgotten that you don’t need a key for the door? Only your finger print!" I laughed and Charles sighed.

"Oh damn… yeah I kinda forgot about that!" he laughed as well "But yeah, it would be kinda weird just getting in here when everyone’s asleep and I don’t know…"

"You know that that wouldn’t be a problem!" I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Yeah maybe, now sleep! You’re tired…" he whispered and before I could say anything I was fast asleep.

I woke up from Charles' phone constantly buzzing, a minute later he began to stir.

"Who would call this early on a Sunday morning?" he groaned and took his phone "What?" he answered it harshly "Oh, hi, umm yeah I arrived. You what? No, no that’s not okay! No! Camille? I told you… no! There is no space! I told you I’d be in Monaco on the 30th and then… no… ugh Camille, please it’s way too early for this now! I will call you later! Cancel that flight. I’m not discussing this with you. If you board the flight, good luck finding a way back home, I’m not picking you up… you don’t know where Lizzie lives. I’m done with this. I will call you later. No. No. Good… bye." he sounded mad and his French was almost too fast for me to understand. I looked at him and waited for him to talk, but he just pulled the blanket over his head and groaned loudly.

"You know, you could’ve just invited her? I would’ve slept at Sissy’s pull out sofa and you and Camille could’ve had my room? Mum and Dad would surely be okay…" I began but Charles pulled the blanket away.

"Absolutely not! This is Christmas! Our Christmas! And she… she’s not a part of the family! And we wanted to have a family Christmas! I didn’t invite her for a reason!" Charles looked at me and I just nodded "I want to spend time with you and not her… I haven’t seen you for more than a month…"

"Okay, Charlie bear… come on. I think the others are awake!" I nodded and got up, internally thanking him for not inviting her.

As we walked down the stairs I could hear my parents, Sissy and Liam wondering who set up the table.

"That would be us…" I said, walking through the door and they all flinched.

"Lizziiiiieeeee!" Liam shrieked and jumped off the chair and ran straight up to me, but he abruptly stopped in front of me "Hug?" he almost whispered and I bent down, hoisting him up in my arms and he giggled as he buried his face in the crook of my neck "I missed you sooooo much!" he whispered and I kissed his cheek.

"I missed you too!" I said.

"I missed you three!" Charles behind me said and Liam looked up.

"Charlie!!!" he almost jumped out of my arms, straight into Charles, who happily hugged him tight "I missed you too, Charlie!"

"When did you guys arrive?" Dad asked and hugged me. "It’s so good to see you, this healthy and strong little owl!" he whispered and then he kissed my temple.

"I don’t know? Around 4, half past 4 JK dropped me off and not even an hour later Charles arrived!" I answered and hugged Mum, who had tears in her eyes.

"Oh my beautiful girl. Look at you!" she sobbed and I laughed.

"Why are you crying? I’m good! More than good!" I laughed and she just shook her head and kissed my cheek.

"The last time we saw you, you couldn’t walk without crutches, you idiot!" Sissy laughed and hugged me. I rolled my eyes and looked at Charles, who still held Liam in his arms, hugging Mum and Dad, then Sissy.

"We thought you were coming with the rest this afternoon." Dad said to Charles.

"Yeah well, I decided to drive straight here from Maranello instead of home and then flying." Charles shrugged his shoulders and Dad nodded.

"At least you followed the rules." Sissy laughed and pointed at the paper bags from the bakery.

"We knew, we’d be in trouble if not." Charles laughed and tickled Liam a little "What’s going on, Bubba? You turned into a little monkey?"

"He, umm he’s a little sad…" Sissy whispered and I looked at her "So his nursery school had this Christmas party yesterday, but Liam wasn’t allowed to go… he had some trouble with some of the other kids…"

"What did they do?" Charles and I said at the same time and Mum and Dad chuckled, as they grabbed the rest of the food from the fridge.

"He wanted to play with one of the boys, he seemed to like him, they played and all was fine but then the boy wanted them to play with some other kids as well… and yeah he didn’t get along with them and it got a little heated." Sissy explained and Liam only hugged Charles tighter.

"They were mean and I didn’t like them and when the older boy didn’t stop saying mean things to me, I pushed him. He fell and hit his arm and then he cried." Liam whispered.

"What did he say to you?" I asked him but he just shook his head "How much older is he?"

"I’m in the mice group, he’s in the bear group…" he answered and Charles' nose scrunched up adorably.

"What does that mean?" he asked, confused .

"Kids in the mice group are the youngest, 1.5-3 years old, cheetahs are between 3 and 4.5 and bears are around 4.5 to 6 years old." Sissy explained and Charles nodded.

"So one of the older kids picks on him, he defends himself and then he’s not allowed to go to the Christmas party?" I summarised and Liam nodded "That’s unfair!"

"It is what it is…" Sissy said and we sat down, Liam not moving away from Charles.

"I’d say we throw our own bigger and even better Christmas party then!" I said and Charles tickled Liam and he giggled.

"How does that sound, little monkey?" Charles asked and Liam nodded "Then it’s settled."

"That is Chase! He’s the leader of the pups! No Ryder is the leader but Chase also! Because he’s the police dog! And that is Marshall, he’s the firefighter dog! He’s also cool but Chase is my favourite! Oh and that is Rubble, Skye oh oh and Rocky!" Liam was full of enthusiasm when he explained to Charles the different characters in his new favourite show, Paw Patrol, a Christmas edition playing on the tv. Both boys on the sofa, Liam sitting in Charles lap and both cuddled up under a blanket. I was watching them when I helped Mum and Sissy prepare some snacks for the evening, when Pascale, Lorenzo and Arthur arrived.

"He really missed you, both of you… he was talking all the time about you! And how many times did I find him hiding in your room!" my sister told me and I smiled, I missed him as well. Although I loved both of my nephews equally, Liam living here with us since he was born, seeing him almost daily, brought us so much closer than me and Benji, who I only saw every other week, due to the fact that Marcus lived in Munich. And not seeing Liam for more than 3 months was really hard and I was more than happy to be back again.

"I missed him as well, that’s why I plan on spending as much time as possible with him."

"Then go ahead and start now with it. We’re done here and I have to wrap up the last gifts!" Mum said and washed her hands, Sissy nodded and did the same.

"Alright, then I’d say I watch Paw Patrol as well!" I dried my hands off at the towel Mum handed me and walked over to the boys.

"Is there some space left for me?" I asked and Charles held up his arm and I sat next to him, snuggling into his side as Liam stretched his hand out for me to take "So Charles? Who is your favourite?"

Liam looked up at him, awaiting his answer.

"I have to say Chase! He’s a police dog! He has a gun that shoots tennis balls and a net! He is pretty cool!" he answered and Liam nodded enthusiastically "And who is your favourite character?"

"Easy! Ryder, he’s cute!" I laughed and Liam made a disgusted face.

"Eww… he’s only 10!" Charles whispered and I laughed.

"He’s not cute! He’s a fearless leader!" Liam wasn’t happy with my answer "You have to pick a dog!"

"Okay, okay! Who is that? The Husky?" I asked.

"That’s Everest!" Liam explained.

"She’s my favourite because I love Huskies!" I answered and Liam nodded.

"Good choice!" he said and Charles chuckled.

"Very good choice, ma belle!" he said and I just smiled and watched the Paw Patrol save Christmas.

I saw Charles checking his phone, for the tenth time in the last couple of minutes, he tensed up a little and sighed. It seemed like Camille didn’t stop asking him to invite her over. I was about to say something as he gently nudged Liam and sat him down next to him.

"Lizzie, we need to talk… umm alone?" he almost whispered and I looked at him curiously.

"Sure? Everything alright?" I asked and got up, walking to the stairs, but he didn’t answer, he just followed me upstairs.

In my room I sat down on my bed as he was pacing back and forth in front of me.

"Charles? What’s going on?" I asked him and he stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He sat down next to me, taking my hand in his.

"I left Maranello last night in a rush, because I found something out… I was mad, no, furious, but I couldn’t do anything about it…" he began as I got the notification that I received a new email on my phone and he sighed "That email… it’s from Massimo and Mattia… it’s about your involvement in the FDA… they umm… they-"

"They kicked me out." I finished his sentence and he looked up at me.

"How did you know?" his voice was almost a whisper.

"In the first weeks after the accident, they regularly checked in on me. But it got less and less and now they haven’t checked in on me for more than a month… so yeah, I just figured they would kick me out." I answered and looked down.

"I’m so sorry, ma belle! I told them that it’s a mistake and totally unfair but they wouldn’t listen to me…" he said and pulled me in a tight embrace.

"It’s not your fault, Charlie. It’s okay. I will get along without them." I whispered and he nodded.

"And I will help you as much as I can! They will regret kicking you out!" he said and I chuckled.

"Thank you, for telling me, and not finding out through an email!" I said.

"They will post a statement as well…" he groaned and I sighed.

"Didn’t expect anything less from them."

The real party began when the rest of the Leclercs arrived in the evening. After the shock of me being sacked by the FDA, some harsh words from Dad, Lorenzo and Arthur against the FDA and Ferrari and some comforting words from Mum and Pascale we finally all sat together for a long time, playing board games, telling old and new stories, laughing and even singing together. I looked at Charles to see that he was typing away on his phone, looking annoyed.

"What’s going on, Charlie?" I asked him quietly and he sighed.

"Just some people asking me about the FDA thing." he said and put his phone back into his pocket.

"Stop thinking about it, it’s okay!" I reassured him and squeezed his arm. It was not okay, I really thought I could count on their support, but I was clearly wrong. It hurt that they seemed to lost faith in me, but it only motivates me more to show them that they made a huge mistake.

"Come on, Liam, time for bed!" Sissy got up but Liam protested.

"No! I wanna stay up longer! Pleaaaseee Mami!" he whined but she shook her head.

"Little man, you’re already way past your bedtime! Up we go!" she said, mastering her mum voice.

"That is so unfair! What a shit!" he cursed and I almost choked on my tea.

"Liam!" Sissy exclaimed shocked and I had to do my best to not burst into laughter, looking around the table I wasn’t the only one, Dad drinking hastily from his beer, Lorenzo doing the same with his wine, Arthur fake yawning covering his mouth with his hand, Charles just tried really hard to look as normal as possible.

"What? It’s a shit!" Liam said again and got up, I let out a mix between laughter, coughing and clearing my throat.

"Stop saying that!" Sissy reprimanded him but he just rolled his eyes and I lost it, bursting out laughing "You’re the worst!" Sissy looked at me disapprovingly. But as Dad and Arthur broke as well she just sighed "Great. Just great." she shook her head "Say good night to the traitors!"

"Hey! I didn’t do anything!" Charles next to me said, voice so thin from holding his breath so long, Sissy just glared at him before she chuckled herself a little. Liam made it around the table, hugging all of us good night.

"Good night, Bubba. Tomorrow I’ll teach you to say it in Italian and French, so Mami can’t reprimand you again!" I chuckled and kissed his cheek and he giggled.

"I’d say I can help you with that, your Italian isn’t the best!" Charles whispered and Liam hugged him even tighter "Good Night my little monkey!" with a last kiss on his forehead he walked off, taking his mothers outstretched hand.

The next few days we all spent together, playing more board games, cooking together, having a snowball fight as it finally began to snow heavily. It was the day before Christmas Eve, Dad, Lorenzo, Arthur and Liam playing in the garden, competing who made the better snowman. Mum, Pascale and Sissy were out for a last trip of grocery shopping for the next few days and Charles and I stood in the kitchen, baking batch after batch of plain cookies, for us all to decorate later.

"Oh come on! It’s going to be fun! Joris is there, Riccardo and Marta, Antonio is coming as well! A bunch of other people that you know!" Charles said as I rolled out the dough.

"I don’t know Charles… I’m back after such a long time, I don’t want to leave again this fast!" I said and he used the different cookie cutters.

"It’s just for 6 days and then we’re flying anyway to Thailand! So come on! Please! Not celebrating the new year with you last time felt so wrong!" he said and I scoffed.

"Yeah?" I said and he looked at me with big eyes.

"Yeah! It did! So please! Please! We’re leaving on the 30th and on the 4th we’re already off!" he took my hands in his, smiling at me.

"I’m just… I’m just afraid I am ruining it, if I get sick because of the boat bla bla you know I’m getting dizzy and lightheaded real fast since… so yeah. I don’t know…" I sighed.

"There’s a cabin, just for you, if you feel dizzy or anything just tell me and we go there for you to calm down! I promise!" he almost pleaded and I swallowed hard before I nodded "Is that a yes?"

"Yes! It’s a yes…" I mumbled and he hugged me!

"Thank you so much, ma belle!" he whispered.

"But Charlie, you seriously need to stop calling me that… don’t look at me like that! In front of Camille at least! It probably hurts her, so please stop…" I’ve seen the way she looked at me, sending me death glares, whenever he used it in front of her. I don’t need that on a boat, in the middle of the ocean.

"Ugh, fine! I’ll try my best!" he said and I nodded thankfully, one reason less for her to be nasty to me, hopefully she will be busy with her friends and will ignore me. Being on a boat with her made me more than anxious. I was deep in my thoughts as the timer reminded us of the current tray full of cookies in the oven. I walked over and looked at them, then opened the door deciding they’re done and grabbing the tray without thinking.

"Lizzie! Oven mitts!" Charles shouted, but before I could register it I already touched the tray and hissed in pain.

"Fuck!" I exclaimed and flinched. Fingertips of my index and middle finger burning like crazy, throbbing pain erupting. Charles was next to me in an instant, grabbed the tray with oven mitts and put it next to the oven on the counter, then closed the oven and turned back around to me. He gently pulled me to the sink, holding my burned fingers under the cold water stream. I let out a small whimper when the stream hit my fingers and held my breath.

"Breathing, ma belle." Charles whispered and I nodded. He walked over to the fridge and rummaged around in it, then opened the cabinet next to it and pulled out a box putting his collectibles on the countertop of the kitchen island.

"Alright, let me see." he stepped next to me and looked at my fingertips, both sporting an angry red burn mark. He switched the water off and gently patted my fingertips dry with a towel, he nudged my shoulder and I followed him to the kitchen island, where he pushed me gently against it and then grabbed my thighs and lifted me up to sit on it. He proceeded to pad dry my fingers until they were completely dry and then unscrewed the top of the burn ointment tube, gently applied a generous amount of the cooling and soothing gel on my fingers. I took a deep breath at the immediate pain relief, some stray tears were escaping my eyes. Charles searched through the box, looking for some band aids, after he found the needed sizes he took my hand in his, carefully bandaging the burnt fingers. As he was done, he looked up at me and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Does it feel better?" he asked quietly and I nodded.

"Yeah, thank you, Charlie!" I sniffled and he helped me down the counter, pulling me into him, he kissed my temple.

"Always, Lizzie, always!" he whispered against my head and we stood like this for a while, breathing each other in, as we heard the screen door opening, we jumped a little, bringing some space between us. I turned away from Charles, feeling my cheeks blush.

We later all sat around the table decorating our cookies with icing, different sprinkles and other toppings. Due to my bandaged fingers I couldn’t do the icing how I wanted it too, but just sitting here, surrounded by my family, laughing and joking, decorating cookies, brought me so much joy. To think how only 3 months ago I thought I’d probably never be happy again. Unbelievable.

The next day, we decided to make a trip to the old karting track, visiting Hans who was excited to see us again. The boys all geared up for some laps and Liam wanted to join in.

"You’re a little too young to drive alone, but you can ride a few laps with me!" Charles said and he was overly excited.

Dad and I stood at the side, watching the boys have fun, breezing past us, but driving very carefully due to Liam who was sitting between Charles legs. He steered the kart at some slow corners, Charles teaching him exactly when and how to turn.

"You’ll be driving one in no time, you’ll see!" Dad whispered next to me as he pulled me into his side, after seeing my eyes well up a little. I only nodded, throat too tight to speak. I didn’t expect coming here would be so emotional, but it was.

"I really hope so, Dad!" I mumbled and he only chuckled.

"Lizzie, you can walk almost perfectly again, you even could carry Liam around. Give it some more time and you’ll be back!" he said confidently and I nodded.

"You’re right. I’ll be back!" I said determined and cheered as Charles and Liam crossed the finish line first.

Back home we all prepared for dinner and in typical German tradition we were exchanging presents shortly after. As we were unpacking them, a lot of hugs and kisses and laughter and thank yous were exchanged. Later we all sat cuddled up on the sofa, watching Home Alone with a cup of hot chocolate and some of our cookies. The perfect Christmas.

As the 30th came closer and closer my anxiety of meeting Camille again began to get bigger with each minute, as it felt and I was thinking about chicken out. But I knew that Charles wouldn’t believe me when I would say that being on a yacht was my biggest concern. He would want to know the real reason and I told myself I’ll talk to him after our holiday. First I wanted to spend some good quality time with him, before I had to break to him that his girlfriend was one of the main reasons for my crippling anxiety. I just had to get over one evening with her. On a boat. I could surely avoid her, right? I could do that.

"What am I wearing on a yacht on New Year's Eve, Shima?" I asked her as I was packing and needed help with my outfit.

"What do you got?" she asked and I walked over to my closet "And do you have a dress code?"

"Charles said not to over the top… that helps totally… not! So I asked what he’s wearing and he said Jeans and button down shirt. I checked in with Marta and she said she would maybe wear a casual, but nice dress. Classy but not to over the top… Why can’t Monegasque people be a bit more precise!" I groaned and I heard Shima’s chuckling through the speaker "Not funny!"

"Okay, so dress or no dress?" Shima asked.

"No dress." I answered and she was quiet for a moment.

"Ouuuuhhh! I have an idea! The jumpsuit! The black one! It’s classy, elegant but not to over the top!" Shima said and I thought for a second.

"My sister has it, wait I gotta go to hers. I need to see if it still fits me!" I said and walked downstairs to the door into the little mud room between kitchen and garage where I took the stairs up into my sisters loft.

"Where’s the rest of the fam?" Shima asked as I walked through the loft into my sister's bedroom.

"They’re not at home, the mums are shopping, the boys are karting." I answered

"Why didn’t you go with them? Too tough?" she asked empathically.

"Yup, it wasn’t easy last week so a no for today!" I sighed "Wait, I’ll try it on and send you a selfie…"

"What’s the verdict? Good enough? Not too casual? Not too over the top?" I asked nervously

"Approved! Lizzie, giiirl! You look so damn good! What shoes? Hair and make-up?" she asked and I laughed.

"I don’t know? Probably just leave my hairs open? Little bit curled? Well make-up wise, like always? Just a little eyeliner and maybe some nude lipstick? As for shoes… you know I don’t mind heels but I don’t think that I can walk in them right now? I thought maybe some sweet, flat sandals?" I thought out loud, thinking about how everything looked together. With Camille there I didn’t want to look like I didn’t care about my looks. I just didn’t want to give her more reasons to pick on me, which I was sure she would do.

"Sounds good! No really Lizzie, you’ll look great! That’s the perfect mix!" she said and I smiled.

"The only thing that bothers me about the jumpsuit is that it has like a cut out on the back? And I’m scared that it will slip a little when I’m moving and show my… my… you know…" I said quietly.

"Lizzie! With all due respect, you should wear these scars with pride! They show how strong you are! They should only remind you that you almost died but you’re still here! Against all odds! ! You should wear them like a shield!" she said with a strong voice.

"You’re right! Thanks!" I had the best friends.

Charles POV:

Lorenzo and I took the car back to Monaco, Lizzie, Arthur and Mum were flying. The whole ride I thought about the best way to break-up with Camille. I initially planned on doing it after Portimaõ, but she started to talk about New Years Eve and how excited she was. She had the idea of renting a yacht to celebrate with our closest friends months ago, she planned it all by herself and was always so happy and excited when she showed me the newest plans. I just didn’t have the heart to break up with her before that, not after she put so much effort into it. Seeing her this happy made it hard for me to break her heart like this. After all, she didn’t deserve this. So I planned to wait until after New Year's Eve. Let her have this day, let her bask in the moment, she worked so hard for. And then I’ll break her heart. Doesn’t sound much better.

"You’re awfully quiet." Lorenzo said after a long while of silence and I swallowed hard.

"Yeah, a lot is going on in my head…" I sighed and he chuckled.

"Camille?" he asked and I looked at him "Oh come on, I’m your brother! I know what’s going on in your head. At least some of it."

"You do? Then help me sort it out…" I said and he laughed.

"I can’t tell you what to do, Charles." he looked at me "But you’re smart, you figure it out."

"I already have… it’s just… I don’t want to hurt her." I said hesitantly.

"Who? Camille?" he asked and I nodded.

"Who else?" I replied.

"Maybe you’re not that smart…" he said under his breath and I looked at him "Why do you think you will hurt Camille?"

"Because I’m going to break up with her… after New Years, I’ll have her over and explain everything to her.." I answered.

"Smart boy…" he chuckled.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes.

I just had to get New Years over with, let her have a day or two to relax afterwards and then have a conversation with her, I could do that. But I dreaded it. So much.

I felt dizzy, it probably wasn’t the best idea coming onto a yacht in my condition, but I promised it to Charles and now I couldn’t chicken out anymore. Big mistake. The constant whispers from Camille and her friends, the swaying of the yacht, it all was too much. I needed my medics and I needed them now. I got up from the lounger and walked to the stairs as I heard Camille and her friends talking downstairs, probably sitting in the lounge. I quietly walked down the stairs.

"Oh come on, why is she always hanging around him! Like she has no one else to talk to? And did you see her back? The scars? Eww! I would never ever again walk around in clothes so you could see it! Disgusting!" Camille sounded annoyed and I quietly sneaked away, almost bumping into Joris. He looked at me with sad eyes, and I knew he had heard what Camille and her friends said about me, but I just sent him my best fake smile and walked away. I quickly walked past Camille, trying to get into the cabin without being noticed.

"There you are, ma belle!" Charles almost yelled and I saw out of the corner of my eyes how Camille glared at me. He was drunk. I’ve never seen him this drunk before.

"Charles, I thought we talked about this… stop calling me that when your girlfriend is around!" I said it quietly and he only shrugged his shoulders.

"But you’re ma belle! And that’s your name! I always call you that? What am I supposed to say?" he asked and his confused look was just too adorable.

"My name, Lizzie. Remember?" I laughed and he shook his head.

"Lizzie is only for the others! But for me it’s ma belle! Because you are the most beautiful girl! And you are my girl! So you are ma belle!" he explained and I blushed. I could hear Camille scoff behind me and a glass breaking "Camille is just…" he began but I put my hand above his mouth.

"Stop talking, you’re drunk and don’t know what you’re saying!" I fake laughed and walked away, I nodded at Riccardo who understood and looked after Charles. I went back into the cabin, looking for my bag with my medics. I saw that I had a text from Arthur, but before I could check it, I dropped my meds and when I bent down to pick them up I was getting light headed, the dizziness only worsened. The throbbing pain in my temple was back again. I quickly sat down and took a deep breath. My brain began to fog up and I got up to go outside and get some fresh air. As I was holding on to the railing I heard steps coming towards me.

"Look who it is, ma belle!" Camille mocked and her three girlfriends just laughed "I mean I know that you’re not really the most stylish person, but still? Couldn’t you at least put some effort in your appearance?" their laughs were shrill and way too loud for my head and I wanted to walk away. For the first time in weeks my brain started to fog up to the point where I had to really focus on my speaking in order to get the words out correctly.

"Look Camille, I don’t know what your problem is with me, but I don’t have time for this now, sorry!" I said and Camille and her little flock started cackling.

"I’m sorry? I’m not speaking gibberish?" Camille laughed and I looked at her, heat rising in my cheeks. Focusing didn’t seem to work.

"Just leave me alone! Please! I don’t know why you always try to pick a fight with me!" again they only laughed harder.

"Oh no, poor little Lizzie's head is all mushy again! Maybe your little accident damaged your brain a little more than they thought?" Camille sneered and I walked back into the cabin, then I realised the tears streaming down my face. I grabbed my phone and sent a text to Arthur.

I packed my belongings into my bag, sat down on the couch and waited. Through the windows I could see that we were on our way back to the harbour. I closed my eyes. Only a couple of minutes and I could leave this god damn yacht and Camille and her entourage of mean girls. Every now and then a tear slipped down my cheeks. As we docked in the harbour I got up and grabbed my bag, I wanted to walk out as Charles walked in.

"Hey ma belle, I was looking for you? You looked a bit pale…" he began but then he realised the bag on my shoulder and my tear stained face and in an instant he cradled my face in his hands "What happened? Are you okay?"

"I’m just tired, Charlie. It wasn’t a good idea going on a yacht in my condition! You celebrate and have fun! Spend some time with Camille, I’ll be fine!" I said and pushed away from him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and started walking away but he grabbed my wrist.

"Ma belle, what is going on? I know you and it’s not your condition? You were doing so well the last few weeks! What happened? Where are you going?" he said, his voice stern, but I just tore my wrist out of his grasp and shook my head.

"I’m fine, Charles. It’s ok!" I whispered and left quickly. He stood there dumbfounded for a moment then he followed me.

"Ma belle? Lizzie?" he almost shouted it, his voice was laced with worry but also sounded a bit hurt and I only walked faster. Camille just grinned at me, her friends were laughing as I walked fast past them to the gangway that was set up by the deckhands. Joris looked at them furious.

"Lizzie, wait!" Charles sounded nearer this time but he was stopped by Camille, he wanted to push her away as Arthur appeared at the dock "What is Arthur doing here?"

I walked as fast as possible without falling in the water over the gangway, where Arthur grabbed my bag and held me to his side to steady me, everything started to spin and the pain in my head rose to a new high.

He opened the passenger door and helped me in, then walked around and got into the driver seat. I could see how Charles was furiously talking to Camille and Joris, hands flying through the air, always pointing in our direction.

"Are you sure you’re okay?" Arthur asked and I nodded, silent tears streaming down my face.

"Just drive home…" I whispered and Arthur started the car. For the first time in weeks I felt like this again, the throbbing pain in my temples, the impeded speech, shaky legs, problems to breathe properly, almost a full blown anxiety attack. And all because of Camille. Maybe I had to talk to Charles sooner rather than later.

Charles POV:

"What do you want to hear from me? She texted and asked if I could come pick her up and I did just that!" Arthur was furious.

"Why didn’t you call me? You could’ve told me that she was unwell and then I would take care of her!" I was even more furious.

"Charles, she wanted to leave the boat! End of the story! She didn’t want to stay there and celebrate with you!" he almost sounded annoyed.

"What’s that supposed to mean? She didn’t want to celebrate with me?" I asked him confused "She rather wanted to celebrate with you? At home? Alone?"

"Yes. Happy now?" he answered and sat back down on his sofa.

"Okay, what is going on here? Are you and Lizzie…? What about Clara?" it couldn’t be. Arthur and Lizzie?

"For fucks sake, Charles! My girlfriend isn’t the one who constantly dragged her down for the past year!" Arthur almost shouted it and glared angry at me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him as I try to stay calm and Arthur hid his face in his hands and groaned "Arthur, what the fuck do you mean?”

"I’m not supposed to tell you this! But come on, Charles? You’re telling me that you not only once realised how Camille treated Lizzie? How she glared at her, all her snarky remarks? How could you be so oblivious?" Arthur asked me and I sat down and leaned back, thinking about his words.

Camille was sometimes annoyed when I spent my down time with Lizzie instead of her, but she always said she understood? Although last year Lizzie and I didn’t spend much time together considering Covid first and then her accident. When she moved in with me to start with her recovery, Camille didn’t have a problem with it. Or did I just ignore her complaints? The more I thought about it, the more I realised that whenever I mentioned Lizzie Camille tried to change the topic immediately, tried to always keep us busy so I didn’t have much time to spend with Lizzie and not even once asked how she was after her accident. Arthur was right, how could I be so oblivious? I facepalmed myself and sighed.

"I am stupid…" I mumbled and Arthur only nodded.

"I’m not arguing with you on that, but Charles? Don’t you think it’s time that you tell Lizzie that you lo…" Arthur began but he got interrupted by a sound coming from the guest bedroom, the one Lizzie currently slept in "I think you should leave for now, you need to sort out your shit with Camille first, before you talk to Lizzie, she cried herself to sleep last night, she will pretend like she didn’t but I heard her."

"Take care of her!" I whispered and Arthur hugged me.

"Of course!" he said and I left, taking my phone out of my pocket. I texted Camille to meet me at my place in an hour, then I called Joris. He never liked Camille, I needed to know if it was because of Lizzie.

"I want to know everything." I said and Joris just groaned.

"She’ll kill me if I tell you…" Joris began but I cut him off.

"I don’t give a fuck, right now I should be your concern, because if you’re not telling me what I’ve been missing for a whole damn year, I’m the one coming for you!" I said.

"She was awful to Lizzie, always saying things to her that Lizzie’s just a friend of yours, that she is now the most important person in your life, that Lizzie should start to understand that your priorities are now on her and that Lizzie is not important anymore. She even got that far telling Lizzie to give you guys some more space and sent her away from, to quote her, "our flat"… like she would live there with you! And after Lizzies accident she and her bitchy friends always made fun of her when she needed a little longer to speak or when she couldn’t walk normally in the beginning… and the things they said about her back?! The scars? It was awful…" he said and with every word he spoke I felt sicker and sicker, I was trembling, anger surging through me.

"And why the fuck did no one tell me? Why did Lizzie tell you but never me?" I was furious.

"Because Lizzie didn’t tell us those things! I heard it! I saw it! We all did at some point! Camille never did those things when you were close by! But we all witnessed it! Do you remember your birthday? How Riccardo left in the middle of it out of nowhere? That was because of Camille! She was horrible towards Lizzie! Her friends commented on that video that someone took of her on your boat. Not nice things. And he was so fed up that he wanted to tell you, but Lizzie pleaded with him to not to so he agreed, but he was so mad that he had to leave otherwise he would’ve called her out in front of everyone! We all wanted to tell you more than once, Charles! But Lizzie… she thought that Camille made you this happy and she didn’t want to ruin your relationship!" Joris explained and I felt the bile rise up my throat.

"You still should’ve said something!" I almost shouted, I was mad and letting it out at Joris wasn’t fair but I had to let it out. I couldn’t hold it in.

"I wouldn’t have to say anything if you weren’t so fucking blind! And if she wasn’t so blind! You weren’t happy because of Camille! You were happy because of Lizzie! Not Camille! How could you even start dating her? When you clearly love Lizzie! You really thought your plan would work out? You will forget about your feelings for Lizzie because of Camille? The only thing you did with that was hurting Lizzie! You have no idea how many times Lizzie cried last year because of you! She tried everything to not ruin your birthday when you did just that back on her birthday! Not just that you came fucking late, no you ignored her for most of the night, you weren’t even singing with us and then you left earlier because of Camille but you didn’t even say goodbye to Lizzie! You fucking left her alone on her birthday! You know how much she hates celebrating it! You have no idea how many times I… no we had to see her heartbroken expression when you were faking being happy with Camille and Lizzie believed it! Just for you to not man up and confess your feelings to Lizzie! If you want to be mad at someone, then it’s you first and Camille second!" Joris got up and left.

I sat there dumbfounded. But after a while I had to admit, everything he said was right. Now it was time to finally do the right thing.

"You never gave us a real chance because of her, that wasn’t fair! I was always good to you!" she didn’t sound sad, more mad, disappointed and annoyed.

"You’re right. It wasn’t fair. And I can’t apologise enough for letting it come this far. But what you did Camille? Your friends did? What you said? The entire last year? Nothing of this was her fault! It was all me. I messed up and I know it. I’m sorry for hurting you, I really am." the only one to blame was me. I should’ve never even started this relationship in the first place.

"I didn’t mean what I was saying Charles, it was only a joke, yes I know, a bad one. But it’s always her, her, her! I guess I had to let it out at one point!" she defends and I sigh.

"Yeah, but then you should’ve let it all out on me. Not on her, after everything she’s been through! And it was more than a joke Camille! You were horrible to her the entire time! I was just too blind to see it! And that is entirely my fault! Because I was the one who was in a relationship with you even tho I’m not…" I stopped and Camille’s look changed.

"Go on, say it…" she said and I sighed.

"The time we spent together, how you always supported me although I didn’t deserve it, I can’t thank you enough for it, Camille… but I was never in love with you. I’m sorry… you deserve someone who is in love with you and not someone who’s just with you because it feels nice and content, because he can’t stay alone." I said it and she nodded.

"It was always her, right. I never had a chance, did I." it wasn’t a question.

"I wanted it not to be her, that’s why I gave us a chance in the first place, I was trying everything to bury the feelings that I had, no, that I have, for her… but you’re right, it was always her… it will always be her…" I answered and Camille smiled a little.

"Then do yourself a favour and tell her." and with that she got up and walked to the door. "Goodbye, Charles." and she was gone.

I didn’t know how long I sat there, thinking about what she said "Do yourself a favour and tell her", she was right. I had to tell Lizzie that I am in love with her, only her. But I couldn’t do it now, not after I just broke up with Camille, she couldn’t think that she was just a rebound. I needed to take my time, show her every day a bit more that I love her, because Camille was right, it was always her. And I was right as well, it always will be her. I flinched when my phone pinged, a message from Lizzie. Rather than texting back I called her.

"Ma belle."

"Hey Charlie, how are you?" she sounded nervous.

"I just broke up with Camille…" silence.

"I’m sorry." she sounded sincere.

"Don’t be. It’s better like this. There was too much baggage. Too much going the wrong way for too long."

"You still loved her…"

"No, I loved the fact of having a girlfriend, having someone by my side."

"Hmm, ok. Are you good? Do you want to be alone? Or do you want to come over? We’re ordering food and watching a movie…"

"I’ll be there in 20 minutes."

"See you then, Charlie bear."

"See you, ma belle." she hung up. I love you.

"Are you crazy? Who’s going to eat all of that?" Arthur looked at me with big eyes as I walked back from the door, 2 pizza boxes, 3 pasta dishes and 3 salad boxes already on the table, and now another big bag full of Indian and Chinese food as well.

"When you said you’d order something from everything, I didn’t think you would mean it quite literally?!" Carla chuckled and I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Charles is coming over as well…" I said and walked into the kitchen to get some cutlery, plates and glasses "Come on Arthi, the drinks won’t walk on their own!"

"So is it just him? Or is she coming as well… after yesterday? Do you really think it’s a good idea?" Arthur whispered and I sighed.

"He will probably tell you himself, so you know from nothing. He broke up with Camille, as of today…" I said quietly and Arthur’s smirk was getting bigger and bigger "Stop! He’s probably heartbro…"

"How can he be heartbroken when he never loved her!" Arthur mumbled and walked out the kitchen. Why was he saying that? Charles said the same? What do they know that I didn’t? The doorbell rang and I shook the thought out of my head and walked back into the living room and set everything down. Charles straight up walked to me and hugged me tight.

"Hey ma belle!" he whispered into my ear and I got goosebumps all over my body.

"Hey Charlie bear… are you okay?" I whispered back and he nodded.

"Very much… thank you!" he answered and took my hand in his, sat down and pulled me down right next to him.

"Is Camille coming as well?" Carla asked and I tensed up a little.

"No, she’s not coming, she’ll never come over again, to be honest. We broke up." Charles said and played with our intertwined fingers.

"Oh, thank god!" Carla let out and blushed immediately "I mean… oh god, I’m sorry! She’s a nice girl! Totally! I’m just- I’m just… umm…"

"It’s okay. I know what you mean. It’s better like this. She wasn’t the… let’s just say she wasn’t the right one." Charles said and Arthur chuckled.

"Yeah, I’m sure you’ll find the right one…" he said, voice oozing with sarcasm. I kicked his leg and he just chuckled even more "So, what are we watching?"

After a long discussion we settled for Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone and as we were all cuddled up on the sofa with plates full of food the film started and a pleasant silence fell over the room.

Charles POV:

"No, it’s alright. I’ll carry her to bed." I whispered and Carla gently tugged the blanket away. I got up carefully with Lizzie in my arms and Arthur walked in front of us, opening the door to his guest bedroom, switching on the light on the nightstand.

"You’ll stay here, right?" Arthur asked and I laid Lizzie down.

"Umm… should I?" I said quietly and he only nodded.

"Wait a minute…" he said and walked away before he came back with a t-shirt and some sweatpants "Good night, Char." he walked away but then turned around "You know that she loves you? And you love her? So whatever you’re doing, don’t hurt her again…" then he left.

I quickly changed into his spare clothes, went into the bathroom and washed myself as good as possible. Rinsed my mouth and walked back into the guest room, then I quietly closed the door and laid down next to Lizzie. I switched off the light and fell asleep almost immediately.

I stirred around, then groaned before laying on my side as I heard a little giggle.

"Hi, Charlie bear…" Lizzie’s voice was a little hoarse and she yawned.

"Hi, ma belle… I missed this…" I sighed and opened my eyes, looking into hers "Waking up from you rolling around to find a comfortable position again to sleep a little longer. And then your little giggle when you realise you woke me up…"

"I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, it’s just that I was cold all of a sudden and no matter how I laid, it didn’t seem to warm up again…" she chuckled and I pulled her into me. Cuddling her body close to mine.

"Better?" I mumbled and closed my eyes again.

"Better." she whispered breathlessly and we laid like this for a while, before I decided to address the elephant in the room.

"Why didn’t you tell me? All the things that Camille did?" I whispered and Lizzie tensed up, breathing in audibly.

"She seemed to make you happy. You seemed to love her. That was all that mattered to me." she answered and my heart broke.

"She made you sick Lizzie, she was making you feel so anxious that your body reacted in the worst kind of way… my happiness wasn’t as important as your health!" I groaned but she just shook her head.

"No, Charles, that’s where you’re wrong. Your happiness is the most important thing for me! After everything you’ve been through, you deserved some happiness, so when I had to suffer because of it I did it and I would do it all over again…" she said and I held her even tighter in my arms.

"Nothing is more important than you, ma belle! You hear me? God, Lizzie! You’re the most important person in my life! I’m sorry for not seeing what she was doing, how she treated you, god I will never forgive myself for being so blind and oblivious!" I whispered but she shook her head again.

"Charles, you didn’t do anything wrong! There is nothing to forgive yourself! You loved her and she made you happy. Period." she sighed but now I shook my head.

"I never loved her. Not even in the slightest, I just liked having someone around. I hate being alone. I just can’t do it. But you had your own worries, then the accident, the recovery. Camille was convenient. And she was nice and sweet when it was just us. But, I never loved her. I know I sound like the biggest asshole on earth right now. But it’s the truth…" I said and Lizzie looked up at me with her big eyes, contemplating her next words.

"With any other girl I would say yes you’re an asshole, a huge one! But because it’s her? I’d say you’re just a teeny, tiny one, like this…" she laughed and pinched her thumb and pointer finger close together, almost touching.

"I think I can live with that." I answered and laughed as well.

"So what happens now? You’re officially on the market again! Single ladies of Monaco beware!" Lizzie laughed even more but I just shook my head and she stopped and looked at me.

"Nope. I’m not jumping into the next best relationship just because I don’t want to be alone. I’m waiting for the right girl to come around. However long it takes." I said and looked her determined in the eyes. She swallowed loudly and chuckled nervously.

"Yeah… however long it takes…" she answered and I smiled at her.

I will wait however long it takes for her to realise that for me it has always been her. And that she will be the only one I will have by my side ever again.

"That sounds really cold, Charles! You should reconsider that… I don’t want people to think that you’re an asshole!" I sighed but Charles only shook his head.

"I don’t care. We didn’t make any lasting memories, the texts she sent me the last few days showed me her true colours, she’s already out there planning a vacation with some other dude, 2 days after our break-up, saying he always treats her right… in these 2 days or what? And she said, to quote her, now she can finally live her life the way she wanted again." he said and I had to stop myself from laughing.

"Okay. Do whatever you want then." I said and he rolled his eyes.

"It’s posted. Water under the bridge." Charles said and I smiled at him.

Bye Camille…

————————————————————————

Little Note:

That's it, chapter 11 is out - Ding Dong, the Bitch is dead gone 🙌

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