#mammon eating contest

[devildomwriter]

Fun Facts 821-830

• When visiting the human world, Diavolo made sure to bring back madeleine cakes from a store MC suggested so they could have some together.

• Vampire au! Mammon paid a group of witches to catch MC and offer them as a sacrifice to him.

• After a night of heavy drinking, Lucifer was the only one of his brothers without a hangover.

• For his birthday Lucifer got a jewelry box with a secret password only he and MC know. When they caught wind of it his brothers all decided to do the same thing, annoying Lucifer.

• After a candy sculpting contest Diavolo ordered too many morbid-looking gummies and asked MC to help him eat them all.

• Not long after starting a little witch chess game Diavolo ended up with one so rare even Leviathan hasn’t gotten it. Diavolo, Barbatos, and MC decided to keep this secret from Leviathan to avoid any problems.

• When Solomon gets stuck in his research he desires to bury his face in a cat’s fur

• Simeon gets confused when told that he is beautiful which apparently occurs often.

• Beelzebub enjoys playing fangol with Fangora, a giant ape that once threatened to eat his brother, Levi.

• Lucifer ignored Solomon for an entire week after he called him “Luci”

811-820 • 831-840

[still-a-morosexual-help]

honestly tho om lucifer is such a comfort character

you know mammon's my all time all around favourite no contest but like

lucifer just hits different

he's so tired and he's so overworked and he loves his family so much it makes me sick he's willing to kill and die for them at any chance he made the misfits of the celestial realm his family despite being the perfect example of an angel himself he thinks his brothers are adorable he just wants them to have one quiet day

he's such a bastard he's arrogant and prideful and he'll willingly meow like a little kitty cat because his boybestfriend is sad

he's got daddy issues he's terrified he's traumatised his greatest fear is his father he spent years fighting a pointless war and never questioned his father about whether they ever even tried to find a way to end the war without just mindlessly trying to kill people who really aren't that different from them for a reason no one knows he's willing to be given piggyback rides by another high profile man in a public area

he's a dog person he's weak to puppy dog eyes from everyone he cares about he's constantly done with Mephisto's shit he gets jealous because one of his friends complimented their mutual friend's cookies

he's willing to villainize himself in the eyes of his family to keep them safe he's sadistic his first response to being cornered and scared is to kill anyone who's making him feel that way his love language with his brothers is being a little shit to them he's somehow connected to/the starting point of all the issues/trauma his brothers have he has empty nest syndrome even though all his brothers live at home he hasn't realised the extent to which his actions and words have fucked up his brothers and is constantly surprised and devastated by it when he realises

he has a son he pretends is his brother whom he only ever canonically acknowledged as his son twice which led to huge blowout fights one of his younger brothers bullies him into going to the pub with them once a week his son runs a club with his youngest brother dedicated solely to making his life miserable

he's sadistic he genuinely enjoys seeing people suffer he's so polite he'll allow himself to be poisoned by food he knows is bad he bought dinner for a whole restaurant because it was the owner's birthday he wore a silly outfit and worked at a themed restaurant as a favour for a friend he gets visibly more aroused when he's ordered around he insults his brothers but gets upset whenever an outsider does the same

he loves his human so much and he's so annoyed at them he's so frustrated with them he's so angry at them and he's so worried about them so protective of them so incredibly proud of them he has tried to kill them many many times

he's a borderline alcoholic he's immortal he's greying he gets migraines he forgets to eat and he sleeps at his desk he does the mom thing and orders takeout for his children when he goes out to eat without them he likes dad jokes his greatest wish is to visit a factory he likes good socks he's a grumpy old man

he's over 10 million years old he's an eldritch horror he's the personification of the sin of pride he needs glasses to read his childhood friend? ex-boyfriend? kind-of-brother? old coworker? brother in arms? calls him luci

he's a naggy paranoid perfectionist he removed the entire bathroom because one of his brothers forgot to clean it he had to literally be kidnapped to send him on a vacation he ripped out multiple sets of his own wings he doesn't like being seen shirtless he lectured jason voorhees about him not killing efficiently enough

he's a respected and recognised drag queen he believes love is love he's canonically so beautiful but no one ever makes a move on him because the whole realm thinks he's in a committed long term relationship he refuses to believe his best friend is in love with him despite multiple people saying so

he's the type of person you want to please the type of person you want to make proud the type of person you want on your side because you know no matter what he'll always have your back you're safe that as long as he's there everything will be okay the type of person you want to be held by while everything is falling down around you

he's even queer

[xxduncandonutxx]

So hummm, I redesigned Beelzebub again. DON'T get me wrong, I love her original designed and even own a Meow Plush, a standee and pin of her but I do agree with people's criticisms and so, I wanted to take a shot at redesigning her again. So hummm, I redesigned Beelzebub again. DON'T get me wrong, I love her original designed and even own a Meow Plush, a standee and pin of her but I do agree with people's criticisms and so, I wanted to take a shot at redesigning her again. No hate to Vivziepop of course xd !!!

Alright, lemme give you guys some info about my redesigned version of Bee :P -I want bee's design to resemble both a Hellhound and a Bee, so I given her sharp claws, paw pads, her snout, teeth and nose resembles a Hellhound's, her hellhound tail looks like a bee stinger (and acts like a bee stinger too) and lastly her annaetae, eyes, wings and feet resemble that of a bee.

Her outfit that she is wearing is inspired by Idolomantis's redesign of Bee. -She is plus sized (and no, not because she represents Gluttony so don't start screaming "you're fatphobic!!" Gluttony also means over-indulgence and over-consumption of anything to the point of waste NOT just food related) -Bee doesn't get grossed out at Mammon for pigging out on his lunch AT ALL (as well as being aphobic towards him in that one scene, god I fucking hate that). In fact, Beelzebub would honestly cheer him on or get into Beelzejuice drinking contests (or eating contests) with him up until she learnt that he'd abused Fizzarolli and despises him for it (but won't insult him for being asexual or being fat, oh and she doesn't get grossed out at Mammon for eating a lot even after learning about his abuse towards Fizz). -Beelzebub has no idea about the poor conditions that is happening at the hellhound adoption center and if she did know about the conditions, she would voice her concerns or try to do something to shut it down or at least fix it. She cares a lot for the Hellhounds and would actually speak out if she sees anything bad happen to them. (Yes, I'm still petty about the fact that Bee defends Blitz in the Mastermind but does NOT say anything about the fact that Loona is muzzled). And uh yeah, that's Bee for ya :D Oops forgot to add the alt outfit/design

And here's my old redesign

[zinya]

Here's the chaotic dinner routine with all the brothers :

7:00 PM – Dinner begins… or chaos unfolds.

Lucifer: Sitting at the head of the table, arms crossed, trying (and failing) to keep control. Watching everyone with his signature intense glare.

Mammon: Already stealing fries from Beel’s plate… “Tch, you’ve got too much anyway! Share a bit, will ya?!”

Leviathan: Brought his portable console and is playing while eating. “I can multitask, okay?!”

Satan: Reading a book next to his plate, completely unbothered… until Mammon spills his drink. “SERIOUSLY, MAMMON”

Asmodeus: Starting a passionate debate about the presentation of the food. “Honestly, this salad lacks flair. Where are the edible flower petals?”

Beelzebub: Already finished three plates before everyone sat down. Staring at the remaining food with terrifying intensity.

Belphegor: Arrives late, still wrapped in his blanket, half-asleep. “Zzz… Did it already start?”

7:15 PM – The arguments begin.

Mammon: “WHO took my dessert?!” (Spoiler: it was Beel.)

Levi: “I can’t eat without watching my anime. This episode is super important, okay?!”

Lucifer: “No screens at the table, Levi.”

Satan: “Can we have one civilized dinner for once?”

Beel: “It wasn’t me… well, maybe… oops.”

Asmo: “The vibes here are way too tense, chill a little!”

7:30 PM – Attempt at calm… which fails.

Lucifer attempts to restore order with a stern lecture.

Mammon and Levi start a “who can eat the fastest” contest.

Satan discreetly prepares a “super spicy chili curse” to get back at Mammon.

Beel keeps eating… accidentally chewing on his napkin too.

Belphegor has already fallen asleep… on Beel’s shoulder.

Asmo: “Can someone pass me the rose water? It’s great for digestion, right?”

7:45 PM – The ultimate disaster.

Mammon spills his plate… on Lucifer.

Lucifer: “YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO RUN.”

Mammon: “It was an accident, I SWEAR! AAAHH!”

Levi: “Okay, who wants to watch the finale with me?”

Satan: “Oh no… my book has sauce on it!”

Beel: “There’s no food left… Should we order pizza?”

Belphegor: (Still asleep in his plate.)

Asmo: “Okay, family selfie before this turns into a disaster. Say cheese! Oh, Lucifer, you have a stain… oops.”

Dinner Recap:

Lucifer: On the verge of burnout.

Mammon: Running for his life.

Levi: Oblivious, still focused on his anime.

Satan: In a nervous breakdown

Asmo: Got his perfect selfie—mission accomplished.

Beel: Still hungry.

Belphegor: Still asleep.

Hope you enjoyed it. Have a nice day/evening ☀️

[niiwa-angel]

I'm calling it, Bee totally brought Tex to a Sinsmas dinner the the Big 7!

Bee: listen, it's not a big deal! They're my brother's and sisters, they'll love you!

Tex: I don't know. They seem kind of... Intense.

Bee: that's just something they pretend to be, you'll love them!

Cut to:

Ozzie trying to beat Levi at an eggnog drinking contest and losing because she has too heads. Mammon and Lucifer are cheering them on.

Satan and Bel trying to cook, it's not going well because Bel keeps falling asleep and Satan runs so hot he's burning the food.

Lilith and Charlie ordering take out, since it's obvious nothing coming out of the kitchen is going to be edible.

Lucifer being too enthusiastic when greeting Tex

Mammon and Ozzie getting into a fight over the last bread roll.

Levi arguing with Satan that yes, she does need two plates, she has too heads. She doesn't care if it's extra dishes, the food is coming in take out containers anyway.

Instead of saying grace, they sing a song.

Bel falls asleep right into her food. Tex panics but nobody else is phased. She wakes up five minutes later and resumes eating like nothing happened.

Charlie referring to everyone except her parents as aunt or uncle.

Bee and Bel being the spoiled little sisters who somehow manage to skip out on helping with clean up.

Bel summons up some weed after dinner and it's so strong it knocks Lilith out.

Mammon and Lucifer get into a debate over whether Loo Loo Land or Lu Lu World is better. It ends when Levi announces that she's thinking of building a theme park.

Satan drags Tex aside and warns him that if he hurts his little sister, it will be the last thing he ever does. Bee than throws an ice cream dick at him.

[he-calls-me-kitten]

Ah, thank god <33

Since I don't have the balls to write this myself -- what about the bros with a very flirtatious reader-? One that just teases them non-stop throughout the whole day, and the bros punish them for it-?

(Ik this is a rlly boring idea but AKSKDKSNS)

First of all, it's not boring AT ALL! Do you know how much I love it when MC takes charge??? And this right here???!!! THIS IS GOLDEN HEHEHE! We need more confident flirty representation okay!!

No Rest for the Loving

Seriously you could be the biggest tease in all three realms. They thought they had seen everything with Asmo, but lo and behold, came along you. It was quite literally, getting harder to live with you in the same house. But there's only so much they can hold back until their patience runs out.

Lucifer face palms as you take a seat on his lap, offering to 'help with paperwork'. You've not even shifted yet, but he's already stimulated - knowing your cheeky tricks. And the fact that you've been constantly doing it the entire day. First in the meeting room and now in his room.

"You look extra tired. Look at all the lines on your forehead." You hold his face tenderly, pretending to kiss it better. "Ahaha, you look so much better when you're flushed red."

"Hmph, is that so?" Lucifer glanced up towards his door to see if it was locked. "In that case, you might look better like this." Papers flew and pens and quills scattered and fell off the desk as he placed you on it and laid you down.

You brace yourself as he grinds against you mercilessly. You throw your head back when you're almost at your climax and then he pulls back. You groan into your hands because you know he won't be relieving you for a while.

Mammon grumbled under his breath as he hung from the ceiling, waiting for you to stop laughing. "Are ya done laughing your head off yet? Can you get me down already?"

"Oh come on, you're asking me to go against Lucifer's orders to keep you like this, atleast let me have my fun won't you?" You cooed, running a finger down his chiselled abs exposed from hanging upside down.

"Oi! I told you to stop that! This is the fourth time! What's with you and my stomach anyway?!" He blushed furiously, his skin on fire from your fingers.

"I just like how it feels." You answered cheekily, as you untied him from the ropes. "Now there, all done. Now we're even."

"No..." You were about to leave when you felt his arm wrap around your waist, the other hand cupping your bottom. Squeezing and groping it as he pleased, it sent electricity up your spine. "We'll be even after I'm done with my turn."

"Ack! There's no way! I can't possibly win against you!" Leviathan said as he lost another round of the staring contest with you. "Also is it really okay for you to sit there and have an ice cream during this?!"

"What's wrong with the ice cream, I got you the Ruri one in your favourite flavour too didn't I?" You said, deliberately making a big show of eating the stick of ice cream in a erotic way. "My, my what are you imagining in that head of yours, Levi?"

Levi turned even redder at the accusation. Oh shit. Had you caught him staring at your tongue the whole time? "I'm not imagining anything! And besides you..." He racked his brain for a good one liner, inspireed by his many romance novels."Besides you couldn't handle me anyway!"

"Oh, do you want a tongue-off to put it to the test?" You regretted suggesting that seconds later. Now your endless moans were muffled by his long forked tongue invading your mouth. You tried to surrender the fight, grabbing his shirt in fistfuls, but he only shoved his tongue deeper inside in crazed frenzy, holding you firmly in place. This wasn't a fight you could ever win as his tail entered the picture too

Satan was trying so hard to hide how flustered he was. "MC, this is just getting silly now." He said trying very hard not to start gazing down at you just sitting on the floor, between his legs, head resting on his thigh. The cat ears on your head didn't help either.

"But I'm not even doing anything." You said with mock innocence, as if you hadn't made a show of crawling to him on all fours and plopped your head dangerously close to his growing arousal. "Oh, am I to blame for this?"

You turned around and grazed your hand on his crotch. He grabbed your wrist but didn't push your hand away. "Oh my, you could totally mess up my insides with this. If you know how to use it of course."

"Sure, I'll show you what I can do if you can put that pretty little mouth to use." You tried very hard to be confident but it all went down the drain now that you whimpered with his length hitting the back of your throat. He was determined not to let you walk for the next few days.

Outdoing Asmo in terms of teasing was no easy feat, but you managed it anyway. You combined his love for fashion and you very efficiently by wearing the most enticing thing you could find in his wardrobe.

All he had to do was walk in and see you sprawled on his bed, fidgeting with your phone. He gasped, dropping his many shopping bags - an impatient frenzy in his eyes.

"It seems you really like what you see." You chuckled at the obvious reaction his pants were too tight to hide. Within seconds he was on top of you, leaving lipstick stains over your exposed skin and somehow skillfully fucking you with the outfit still on. It was after the first 8 rounds you realised what a mistake you'd made.

"Oh no MC, don't drift off just yet! There's a few more outfits I'd like to fuck you in." He said, pulling you onto his lap. Your head lulled to the side, resting on his shoulder. What the hell were you thinking tempting the Avatar of Lust?

The one thing you learnt about the twins is that you cannot tempt them while they are in the same room. Whether they take turns or tag team to pleasure you, you are always unable to function properly for the next few days.

Belphie takes his revenge by lazily thrusting inside you, constantly dangling you over the edge of your release.

You beg and plead but he doesn't increase his speed until the very end, where even his hands add to the party. "See how easy it is to turn the tables on you? You thought I'd let you go easy after how grinded against me in the crowded bus?"

Beel goes quiet, even apologetic right before he goes feral. As if he knows exactly how badly he's going to ruin you.

The thing about the way he overstimulates you with tongue is that you can't tell if he's being deliberate or if his hunger is just that intense. And you never ever know when he's going to be full. "I'm sorry MC, one last time I promise...it's hard to resist your taste... especially since you offered..."

[pastel-kaleesh]

WOOOO back with my HellaVerse redesigns, this time, the queen of the Gluttony Ring: Beelzebub!!!

The original design was a bit pleasing, due to the cute colors, but she contradicted her lore...a lot. She could also be mistaken for Lust. Why is she a fox? What is the mohawk in front of her lava lamp hair? What are these clothes? In my rewrite, Bee is a shapeshifter, made of a swarm of flies and demonic honey. She typically takes the form of a wolverine/insect hybrid, since wolverines are typically associated with gluttony!! Fun fact, their scientific name, gulo gulo, is a wordplay on glutton!!! Her stomach can inflate/deflate, depending on her appetite, her hair is edible, but eating it gives you endless manic cravings for food and delusions. Bee is a party girl at heart and is typically hosting food fairs and gobbling up whatever. She likes to dance frequently and is obsessed with Gyaru fashion. I was inspired by Majin Buu and Android 21 from Dragon Ball as well, since they are both gluttonous characters with an endless food craving, and gave Bee one of their powers: the food beam!! Whenever Bee's henchmen are incompetent or she gets furious, she can turn them into food and eat them!!! She and Mammon are like siblings, and constantly have some form of rivalry. Both of them have eating contests to see which one eats more.

Her main inspirations were wolverines, bees, honeypot ants, bearded vultures, and houseflies. The gyaru outfit was inspired by @ezralovrr 's Bee.

Her voice claim is Android 21

[allastoredeer]

I just had a hilarious thought I needed to share. After thinking about it, of all the Sins we've met so far, I'd be willing to bet that Alastor would hate Beelzebub the most! For multiple reasons!

First, she's a canid demon, already enough of a reason for Alastor to dislike her.

Second, Alastor has been described by Viv as a food snob, he doesn't like greasy processed food or sweets. And Bee is all about junk food! She sings a whole song about it! She and Alastor would surely bump heads in the kitchen.

Third, Alastor is all about hiding his emotions and being a mystery. A rather difficult task to accomplish when there's someone who can smell/taste emotions around! Alastor wouldn't be able to hide his true feelings about things from Bee! What's worse, Bee has little to no filter. So not only could she sniff out his true emotions, she could just as easily blab about what he's feeling to everyone! Which Alastor certainly wouldn't appreciate.

Forth, of all the Sins we've been introduced to so far, Bee seems the one least willing to take any shit. When Alastor and Lucifer started butting heads, the result was a musical dick measuring contest. When Millie bashed Fizz over the head with a guitar, all Ozzie did was kick her and Moxxie out of his club. When Blitzø roasted Mammon in front of a crowd of his fans, all Mam did was insult him and tell him to shut up.

When Loona started mouthing off to Beelzebub however, Bee went full beast-mode and was ready to throw down! Now, if Alastor (shit-talker extraordinaire with a nasty habit of biting off more than he can chew) were to try and pull the same shit with Bee that he pulled with Lucifer, she absolutely would not hesitate teaching him the definition of "fuck around and find out".

And finally, to add a dash of radioapple into the mix (bc ofc😏🤭) you just know that Beelzebub, aka Miss "Satan's like a brother to me, but I could totally still hit that", would be at least a little flirty towards all her fellow Sins. Including Lucifer. Imagine Bee's visiting Lucifer at the hotel, maybe for a Deadly Sin reunion or maybe she's just visiting by herself. And the whole time she's there, she's just being so affectionate towards Lucifer, picking him up and spinning him around, holding his face in her hands, nuzzling him cheek to cheek or nose to nose, giving him quick pecks on the cheek or forehead, running her hands through his hair, calling him cute nicknames and telling him how adorable he is. Just giving him so much verbal and physical affection that toes the line between flirty and platonic. And Lucifer, knowing that that's just how Bee is, thinks nothing of it. He just laughs it off, no big deal.

Meanwhile, Alastor is off to the side witnessing all this and is just seething.

Imagine she's doing it on purpose too! Like Alastor has already made an ass of himself and she's getting back at him by flirting with his "totally not" crush!

Without a doubt, Alastor would absolutely despise Bee!

Hm, I don't know if Bee's was necessarily about junk-food. Like, yes, she references a lot of junk-food, but I think it really was just a song about indulgence as a whole using sweets as a metaphor. I mean, food--especially junk food--is usually the first thing that comes to mind when someone thinks of gluttony. What I got from her song was just giving in to your desires, going all out, no inhibition.

Although, she does favor cotton-candy as the food she hands out, and Alastor definitely wouldn't eat that XD I love that he's a food snob and a rotten deer carcass counts as a high quality dish to him.

I would LOVE for Bee and Al to meet so she could pick up on his emotions, particularly his negative emotions regarding his deal. I want her to look at his smiling face, his care-free attitude, but sense massive amounts of stress from him. Just a big ball of negative emotions, especially surrounding the deal he's trapped in and how cornered and helpless he feels.

I don't think she would say something in front of everyone. (Making this radioapple ;] ) Like Bee did with Blitz, I think she would go to Lucifer about it, maybe because she knows him the most. She wouldn't go into too much detail, because that's Alastor's business, but she mention that she's sensing a lot of negative emotions from him and to check on him because he is definitely not doing well (I love how caring and sincere Bee is, shes one of my favorite Sins).

And I think if Alastor knows that Bee can sense emotions like that, he would try to avoid her at all costs.

But also, I know you said Bee doesn't put up with shit, but I think Bee would see Alastor's shit-talking as a challenge, also like she did with Blitz, and knowing Alastor, I know he would step up to that challenge (if its a drinking contest--not with Beezle-juice because that's WAY to potent for Sinners), he'll lose, but considering Alastor "drinks like a sailor" he lasts longer than she expects).

I don't know if Alastor would despise her, but I think he'd be intimidated by her ability to pick up on peoples real emotions, and considering how guarded he is about himself, I can see him doing everything in his power to avoid meeting her face to face.

[projectcaramel]

Random Headcanon #2

There's a little interaction difference between you and the brothers and the brothers and their kids.

How he responds to his kid

How he responds to you

---

Lucifer

“Please pass the salt, Dad.”

“Certainly.” And Lucifer hands over the salt to your son/daughter. No fuss. 

---

“Please pass the salt, Lucifer.”

“Why don’t you beg me for it?” That damn cocky smirk of his. Evidently, he’s in a mood again.

“...Lucifer, behave yourself.” 

Mammon

“Pass the salt, Papa?” 

“How much does it mean to ya?” He’s joking with a playful glint in his eyes, but he’s teaching your kid some weird quirks.

“Mammon...” you groan, and he laughs as he passes it over. 

---

“Pass the salt, Mammon.” 

“Here ya go.” Job done. 

Levi

“Wouldst thou passeth the wondrous elixir of life, Father of mine?” 

Leviathan groans while passing over the hot sauce. 

“Why did I let him/her play Shakespeare’s Conquest...?

---

“Wouldst thou passeth the wondrous elixir of life, Oh Gracious Lord of Shadow?”

Leviathan covers his red face in his arm while you giggle. 

“Stop making fun of me, MC! Now I won’t pass anything over!”

Satan

“Can you pass the pepper, Father?”

“I’m capable of passing the pepper, yes.” The idiot is smirking without looking up, and your child is on the edge of throwing a temper tantrum. 

“Satan,” you growl warningly, and he hands it over. 

“The best way to ask is ‘please pass the pepper, Father.’ by the way.” 

---

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?” 

“MC, we’ve been over this a hundred times.” 

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?” 

“No, I can’t give you the pepper.” 

“Can you give me the pepper, Satan?” 

“...” And that’s how you end up in a long staring contest that Satan eventually loses.

Asmo

“Would the most beautiful Papi in world grant the cutest son/daughter the frosting~?

You give Asmo a very long look as he, humming, gives your kid the spoon full of extra cupcake frosting. 

“What~? Do you want some frosting too~?” 

---

“Asmo, be a dear and pass the frosting,” You say, while he’s in the process of picking it up for himself. “You can enjoy it if you wan—”  

“You know I could never say no to you, sweetie pie~ Here.” And then he’s taking a picture and posting it to Devilgram with a such a happy smile that you wonder if you should feel bad. 

Beel

“Pops, can I have that?” She/He points to the burger on Beel’s plate. 

“Yeah,” is his reply as he happily hands over the entire, completely loaded, triple-decker cheeseburger to a five year-old. 

“Are you sure you can eat all th—” It’s already gone, and Beel is happily laughing. 

---

“Beel, mind if I eat your pickle?” You point at the spear, and Beel shakes his head. 

“Nah. All yours, MC. Can I have your toad eyes?” 

And so the great food exchange begins. 

Belphie

“Pa.”

“Mn... yeah? Sure.” 

You’re left confused as you look between father and son/daughter as Belphie passes the wasabi to the other side of the table. 

“Belphie, he/she’s supposed to ask you...” 

“That’s a pain.” Guess you’re outnumbered, since they both spoke at the same time. 

---

“Belphie, pass the—” He almost smacks you with the wasabi as he sleepily brings his chopsticks over to you. “How did you...?” 

“You’re not hard to read.” 

“Is that a compliment or...?”

[luceafarul-de-dimineata]

Related to my previous post, here are my headcanons for the pokémon teams the kings would have (feel free to add your own)

Satan:

* Annihilape (A pokémon so angry it died and rage brought it back to life.)

*Tinkaton (Smol and filled with rage, also, very cute.)

*Tyranitar (Idk vibes)

*Hisuian Zeraora (they have the same hair. Also both of them are angry that their people are dying)

Mammon:

*Gholdengo (It's a setient pile of gold)

*Corviknight (It's huge, 250cm, bro that's gigantic. Also, made out of metal which could be gold, why not?)

*Metagross (Tartaros has the best tech in hell, so it makes sense Mammon would have a robot. Bonus points since its shiny has a golden X on its face. Bonus bonus points for Metagross' attack animation)

*Archaludon (Again, made out of metal, but it also has a rivalry with Tyranitar which I think it's pretty cute.)

Leviathan:

*Milotic (They're the same person)

*Gyarados (Did you know that Leviathan also referes to big sea monsters? You did? Bummer.)

*Marowak (Both are orphans)

*Vaporeon (I just think they would be friends)

Beelzebub

*Beedrill (It's a bee, nothing more than that really)

*Slurpuff (Slurpuff has the best smell out of any pokémon, and it's also an ugly dog. And we know that Beelzebub likes ugly dogs sorry not sorry Naberius stans)

*Alcremie (Makes stuff sweeter, who wouldn't want that?)

*Alolan Muk (1st of all, foreign, 2nd of all, it eats garbage. If Beelzebub fucks up his cooking he just gives it to Muk)

Lucifer

*Giratina (Omg, the fallen angel gets the fall from grace pokémon, who would have thought)

*Togekiss (It evolves with friendship and it likes friends and I just want Lucifer to have a support system. Also, a lot of people think that Togepi is a Gen 1 pokémon because of the anime so that would make it kind of a misfit. Perfect for Paradise Lost)

*Melmetal (Nobody really knows what generation to put Meltal and Melmetal in, so, again, into Paradise Lost they go)

*Shedinja (It's dead and it has a halo, I rest my cast)

*Gardevoir (My fav pokémon for my fav character)

Bonus: Some of my favourite nobles with some of my favourite pokémon

Bimet:

*Ceruledge (He orders the dead around, Ceruledge is a ghost, do you see my vision?)

Valefor:

*Armarouge (They're both knights, it makes sense)

*Aegislash (King's Shield, cause Valerof protects Mammon and Mammon is the King so Valerof is the King's shield.)

Eligos

*Sylveon (Ribbons)

*Mawile (I think Mawile is extremely cute, and I always train my ORAS Mawiles to perform well in cuteness contests)

*Cutiefly (It's cute)

Gamigin:

*Drampa (Old chinese-esc dragon. Would probably call it pee-paw and it would be one of his greatest friends)

*Altaria (They are both extremely cuddly)

*Bagon (Small dragon baby that wants to learn how to fly.)

Barbatos:

*Ninetales (it sets up the sun)

That's all I have for now, would maybe update later

[felice-jaganshi]

His Fallen Apple

Lucifer X Reader

Chapter 7

This was it. The day you'd been waiting for. All seven Sins would be gathered in one place… everything needed to be perfect!

 

They had managed to convince Lucifer to join them on a trip to the beach in Levi's ring! They made a point of all hanging out together once every hundred years. But for the last 2 trips, Lucifer had bailed out, claiming he was too busy with Lilith and Charlie. This time, you had managed where the other's failed. By using the forbidden Puppy Dog eyes technique! And pointing out he hadn't shown you the beaches in hell yet, and you missed the ones in heaven.

He was desperate to please you, so of course you'd win this one! Bee helped you get a cute new swimsuit, something that would show off your best features, without being too revealing. As she felt too much would fry Lucifer's brain too soon.

 

“You gotta take it slow with him, he's a bit old fashioned.” She had said. And you couldn't help but agree, it was definitely part of his charm too.

You wore your swimsuit under your clothes to make changing easier when you got there.

When Lucifer came out of his room to get you, it took all of your willpower not to laugh! He was so cute! He wore a bright blue button up covered in rubber duckies, with khaki shorts, and flip-flops. Along with a pair of yellow sunglasses and a straw hat.

“Alright! I'll open a portal for us since the others are already waiting, you ready?” He asked, and you nodded, not trusting that a laugh wouldn't slip out. “Alright, let's go then!” He grinned and the two of you were there in an instant! It was a beautiful sight, you had all gathered midday so you could have a Barbecue and watch the sunset. 

 

Fizz was the first to see you both and rushed over to snatch you up in a tight hug, “hey! How's my favorite sinner?!” You laugh and hug back.

 

“I'm doing good Fizzypop! How are you?”

He whispered in your ear, “Hey, Ozzie and I got a scheme for later, just go along with it okay?”

Now that had your attention! What were the boys scheming this time? You nod along and he lets go before dragging you over to see Bee and her boyfriend.

 

After a bit of socializing, everyone changed into their swimsuits, Luci's swim trunks being covered in apples was a surprise as you'd expected more ducks. But then he turned around and saw you and his wings popped out! 

“Wowza! I- wow, you look great!” He was looking you up and down for a minute before shaking his head and putting his wings away. “I mean, you always look great! Aha, or um, hey let's go for a swim!” He summoned a giant duck shaped float ring and ran for the water with it. 

Ozzie chuckled and made his way over to you, “You know, he's right. You do look amazing today. Maybe enough to finally catch his eye… Good choice, just enough to keep him wondering. And me too, if we're being honest.” He winked at you, and you squeaked in response. 

 

“Ozzie! You- you have Fizzle! Don't start with me!” Your face was bright red.

“Oh don't get it twisted dear.” He leaned closer to your ear, “I'm gonna try to make Luci jealous, okay? This is all part of the plan. I'd never hurt my fizzy baby. He's in on this, don't worry.” You look over and fizz smiles and waves from over by the grill. He and Tex were setting it up for dinner later.

You relax and sigh, waving back with a smile before joining Lucifer and Bee in the water. She was trying to sink his duck floatie. So, it was up to you to “save” him.

______

 

A while later, you all had hotdogs together and were surprised how many Bee could put down for her frame! She ate like 40 without any problems! But, hey, she was the sin of gluttony. And Mammon had challenged her to an eating contest, which he lost at 32.

After a nice meal, and a beautiful sunset, Fizz put some music on and everyone started dancing. Levi dragged Lucifer into a dance before either of you could ask each other.

Asmodeus then approached you, holding out a hand. You smile and accept, without so much as a glance at Lucifer. He pulled you in close and the music changed.

Lucifer was finally freed from Levi right as he noticed Ozzie beginning to sing to you, he looked over with a confused smile at first.

 

“I can't believe we're finally alone, what are the chances, everyone's dancing and he's not with you~. Mmh mmh mmh.” He shook his head disapprovingly at this line.

 

“The universe must have divined this,

What am I gonna do, Not grab your wrist?

I could be a better boyfriend than him~.

I could do the shit he never did,

Up all night I won't quit.

Thinking I'm gonna steal you from him,

I could be such a gentleman.” 

You caught a glimpse of Lucifer's face dropping and Ozzie spun you around, he looked shocked, maybe even hurt.

“I don't need to tell you twice, 

All the ways he can't suffice,

If I could give you some advice,

I would leave with me tonight.” 

 

Ozzie pulled you tight to his body, while Fizzarolli stood next to Lucifer putting on a show of being “heartbroken and lonely” now that Ozzie would have a new toy for the night.

 

“I never would have left you alone, for someone else to take you home.” Oz looked up at Lucifer with a smirk and wink, and that seemed to be the last straw!

He started marching over as Oz did one more run of the chorus, spinning you around and making you dizzy before suddenly you were pulled from his arms and your back was pressed to someone else's chest!

[levia-chan]

*MC has been moping all week and Solomon doesn't understand why*

Solomon: Um, MC, listen, did something happen? You haven't been yourself lately.

MC:...

Solomon: Honey, please tell me what's the matter. I will do everything to make you stop being sad!

MC:.. Maslenitsa...

Solomon: Maslenitsa? Oh.. *Solomon remembered that at this time in the homeland of the MC there is such a holiday as Maslenitsa*

MC: *they seemed to droop even more*

Solomon:...

Solomon: Well, let's go on Maslenitsa!

MC: Can we? We have a lot to do.

Solomon: We've been working too hard lately. We need a rest. I think they will be able to figure it out for themselves :)

MC: Hooray!!! *shone like the sun*

*MC and Solomon had a great time, but some people didn't like their absence*

Lucifer: So, can you explain why you went to the human world?

Asmo: Solomon, MC, how was your date~? I need more details!

Mammon: Asmo, stop! And anyway, why were you with Solomon of all people?! You could have asked me to come with you!!

MC: We were on Maslenitsa!

Lucifer: Where?

MC: On Maslenitsa! This is such a holiday. Today was the last day, and I couldn't miss it!

Solomon: Yeah :). We ate pancakes and went through various contests together *He grinned, knowing that this angered the brothers*

MC: *nodded vigorously in confirmation*

MC: And we also rode a chariot!

Solomon: We also burned an effigy.

Lucifer:...

Beel: MC, did you eat pancakes without me? *Sad sounds of Beelzebub*

MC: Don't worry, I brought some with me. Here you go!

Beel: Thank you!! *Happy sounds of Beelzebub*

Mammon: I understand everything, but why burn a scarecrow?!?

MC: This is to spend the winter and meet the spring!

Levi: Errr, people are so weird.

Mammon: Who would talk!!

Levi: And what's that supposed to mean?!

*The House of Lamentation has become noisy again*

MC: Oh, and here we are again. Not a moment's peace.

[into-the-hellaverse]

Mammon's Bad Day

The next installment of The Bad Day series! This one focuses on Mammon and Adam's relationship and why he started dragging Adam to the meetings.

TW for abuse. Read with caution.

Sorry for a late post! Work has been taking a lot out of me cuz I have to get up super early 😔😔 also pls commission me I need moneys @asmerlotus for my comm details

------------------------

Mammon really hated being here. His ring was ridden with loan sharks, muggers, crime lords, and gullible fucks he could wring every dollar out of. You know, the cool people. Lucifer's ring just had these stupid sinners. At least there was supposed to be a cool music gig at this shady back alley bar.

He sat down in a rickety chair at a half broken table, watching some rando coked out of their mind just lazily banging a tambourine. "The guy better come up soon or I'm gonna burn this shithole to the ground."

The owner of the bar pulled the Sinner off stage and took their tambourine. "Thanks. Thank you for...whatever the fuck that was. Please welcome to the stage... I don't fucking care. I'm gonna take a nap in the back. Don't ruin my bar." The owner walked away and a man walked on stage while a few people cheered. For the now-free beer or the guy, Mammon didn't know.

The guy on stage wasn't that bad. He kept a good beat and had an amazing singing voice. And he was hot. That was always a good plus.

"So if Hell is forever, then maybe I'll just die

It can't be as bad as anything else in my life

Just torture, hate, and pain

Throughout every single day

Suffer more and more 'til I finally catch a break."

His song ended and a few people clapped, but most were trying to drain the liquor from the bar. Mammon kept his eyes on him, watching him down the rest of his drink at his table before making a beeline for the door.

"Oi, pudgy!" Mammon called out. Everyone turned to look at him, some attracted by the noise, some recognizing his voice and looking fearful, but the man with the guitar... He just looked annoyed.

"The fuck you want?" He called out from across the little bar. "I got another gig to get to."

Mammon got out of his seat and strode over to him. "Screw the gig, mate. I need tuh have a chat with you." He slung his arm around him and led him out of the bar. "I'm feeling kinda hungry. Whaddya say we talk over some barbecue, yeah?"

"If you pay for it, I'll eat anything."

"HA! I think I'm liking you already!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The man's name was Adam, he quickly learned. And he wasn't just any Adam. He was The Adam™. Ya know, first man created by God, Adam. Heaven's trophy, the golden child, right in his grasp...

He was extraordinary. He had the right vibes, amazing energy, passionate about his music and he was probably the only person other than Bee who could beat him in an eating contest. Adam was a lot smaller than him but he could give him a run for his money. It had only been about a month since they met and the guy already agreed to date him. "You're already a lot better than my last partner," Adam said when he had agreed.

"So, why are you running around from bar to bar every night?" Mammon asked as he stuffed his face full.

"It's a long story," Adam said. "I doubt you wanna hear it."

"I got all the time in the world, Addy..." Mammon said with a smile.

Adam smiled at him and continued to eat. "Ok, well, I was at the Hazbin Hotel that Morningstar has, and-"

"Charlie still tryna run that thing?" Mammon cut in.

"Wait, you know them?" Adam asked, looking oddly confused.

"Well, yeah. I fell with that little white twink," Mammon said nonchalantly. "All of us Sins were pretty close for a while, but Luce just started drifting away and none of us have seen him in years."

"Well don't bother," Adam growled. "He turned into a little fucking prick. His daughter too." Adam started stabbing his food and chewing angrily as he spoke. "I gave my heart and soul to that fucker! Back in Eden and back in the hotel! And he crushed it twice! He didn't even have the decency to listen to my side of the story! And then he just wants to apologize and thinks everything is ok?!"

"Addy, sweetie," Mammon started. "I love you, but please don't spit food on me while you're talking."

"Sorry." He swallowed and wiped his mouth. "But still! You'd think after thousands of years he'd learn some basic decency!"

"I know. That fucker wouldn't know decency if it came up behind him and fucked him in the ass."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adam started to laugh and choke on his food. "Jesus fucking Christ..." he mumbled after he was finally able to breath.

Mammon stopped laughing and smiled at him. "So what now? You ain't gonna stay with him forever, are ya?"

"Nah. That's why I've been doing those gigs. To save up cash and move out."

Mammon smiled, trying to look genuine. He had this guy right where he wanted him. He reached out and gently took his hand. "Ya know... It gets a little lonely in my mansion..."

Adam smiled softly. "Mamm, you know I'd love to. But I can't leave the Pride Ring. No Sinner can."

"I'll get that taken care of, love. Would ya wanna keep me company?"

"....Yeah...."

A month or so passed and Adam was adjusting really well. He seemed so much happier out of the hotel. His music was taking off and everyone was forking over so much cash to pre-order concert tickets. Mammon was estatic... For the most part.

"C'mon, it's just one meeting!"

"And you'll only be away from me for an hour! You can handle it, ya big baby." Sometimes Adam really got on his nerves.

"But every second it torture," Mammon whined.

"Then you're gonna get tortured for an hour."

"Why do you not want to go?"

Adam sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Jesus fucking Christ. Because Lucifer is gonna be there."

Mammon just shrugged. "And?"

"And I want to keep things cordial between us. The best revenge is having a better life without him. So I'm going to stay away as long as I can." Adam turned away and went back to him music.

Mammon pouted and looked away. He desperately wanted to flaunt his new treasure in front of Lucifer, but if he wouldn't come then what's the point of even going? "It's been a month, Addy," he finally said after a minute. "Lucifer probably calmed down by now."

Adam looked up, not really believing him. "You seriously expect me to buy that?"

"Adam, you may have known him first, but I've known him longer. He probably doesn't even remember you!" Mammon lied.

Adam groaned and rolled his eyes. "Fine! I'll go. But you better think of a good lie as to why I'm there!" He yelled as he went upstairs.

"Two steps ahead of ya, Royal Advisor."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I don't think I'm gonna go anymore..."

"What? Why?"

It had been a few months of the meetings and every week, Lucifer looked worse. He looked tired, upset, and starved. It was so hard for Mammon to keep a straight face. He loved seeing that fucker in pain. It was kinda odd, though, that he recently started doing better. A whole lot better. Like, way too happy, "he couldn't have gotten over it that fast" kind of better.

"I just...can't stand to see Lucifer like that. And the fact that you keep telling me to be rude to him? I just... I don't want to do this anymore..."

"Fine. If you're gonna be a child about this, then you don't have to go." Mammon rolled his eyes and started to go upstairs.

"No, I'm talking about us... You're like a completely different person now. I... I want to break up."

Mammon turned, looking shocked before he started laughing. "Oh, Addy, sweetie, it's hilarious you think you have say in this."

Adam just looked up with that stupid look on his face. "Wh-What?"

Mammon gave him a sinister smile and got close. Way too close. "You're mine now, love."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Adam said as he tried to back up.

Mammon gripped his shirt and pulled him back, tearing off his necklace. "This crystal is you only way out of here, Addy. Without it, you stuck with me until you stop making me money. And you never gonna fucking stop, are ya?"

"Give that back," Adam said firmly, starting to tremble with fear.

"Never."

"I said give it BACK!" Adam jumped up and smacked his face, trying and failing to grab the necklace. He fell back to the floor, looking up at Mammon.

"...Mamm, I'm-"

"You just made a big fucking mistake..." Mammon dropped the necklace, crushing the crystal under his foot as he slowly walked towards him.

"Mammon, really, I'm sorry please-"

Adam didn't get a chance to finish. Mammon pulled him up and started hitting him, punching and kicking whatever he came into contact with. It was pretty easy with four arms, and went you had a lot of expensive breakable shit that could cause a lot of pain (mainly plates. Those shards gwt stuck everywhere.) He heard Adam screaming, begging to stop, begging for forgiveness, but Mammon didn't listen.

He hit him for hours. When Adam tried to fight back, he hit him harder. When Adam gave up, he hit him harder. It wasn't until he was covered in cuts and bruises with two black eyes, a broken nose, and a busted lip that finally stopped.

Mammon got close, pulling him up by the shirt and growling. "Never speak to me like that again, you understand?"

Adam just nodded weakly.

"Good... Clean yourself up. And the god damn mess you made." Mammon left him on the floor and went upstairs.

[spotlightlowlife]

Helluva Boss has responsibility issues - Ozzie, Bee and Mammon edition

These characters have a job which is to govern over and make business out of a designated part of the psyche, one of the seven deadly sins, but it goes further than a job, they're world leaders and their role is their purpose.

What do they do day in day out?

They have fun.

If they're there to be liked that is.

Bee is a great rep for gluttony

Her design is nice, she looks fun, youthful and vibrant and I appreciate that she's not large or lazy. Many people agree, she represents the positive aspects of gluttony in having fun and indulging yourself with the company of others, eat drink and be merry, something she gains from.

Unfortunately it seems that in order to be liked, she had to be diluted.

Bee, prince of gluttony, got humbled by losing a drinking contest to Blitzø who is half her size and a tiny fraction of her true size. Bee then disassociated herself from overindulgence by seeing that Blitzø was going overboard early and wanting that issues dealt with at a distance not by her.

She claims he's ruining the vibe but does this cut off her supply? Ruin her stock? Does it snap people out of their enjoyment? Who knows, she got pushed as 'nice' so her observation so far is probably from a caring place, not a business stance.

Ozzie is a good representative for lust

Sex positivity is good. Like eople should be able to indulge enjoy, as should multiple people, they should all be having a good time. Shaming a lovey lovey couple for lowering the tone at his lust themed club was something he had the right to, even though love and lust can easily go hand in hand and he clearly caters to anyone interested in kink, it was reasonable (and well written humor) to want them to take that outside.

Where they cutting off his lust supply?

Where they potentially off putting for others?

Who knows, but Ozzie's push of anti-love whilst clearly being in love, served as an excuse to loveably humble him.

He could had he been business minded and had both separately, but it seems that business = bad, which leads on to...

Mammon is an excellent representative of greed

Business and greed got merged into one, there are definitely 'positive' aspects to business and therefore greed. Such as professional distance, going where the money is, trying out different leadership strategies moving with the times and welcoming the new.

This character was able to reveal little of his personal views, but enough to know that he disproved of certain things but would still put in the work in their direction, such as beauty pageants and sxxdolls, however he was able to adapt them to suit himself and everyone, a clown pageant and a multipurpose dolls. It was all about supply and demand for profit.

He set up the pageant for anyone to enter, nobody in mind, he was rather transparent in what the plan was too. Knowing what we know of how profit driven he is, his discouragement of female entering could easily have been more than an excuse to add the Viv credit joke based on sales forecast, yet it was a remark he went on to take back. Through the pageant he wasn't opposed to Fizz losing and fresh meat taking over. He was however opposed to Fizz not putting in the work.

It's debatable that he lacks self awareness because we have already established that this character sets person feelings aside and just wants business to run, furthermore, for all we know Fizz may be bringing hesitation for the first time this year. It makes sense why he's willing to let Fizz voice hatred for him aslong as he keeps up being milked until dry.

A lot like many employers in hospitality (a reminder that Fizz was also fed up in this area) and entertainment.

Mammon stepped into the ever triggering parent role and numberours of them, referring to the future pageant winner as 'stepkid', Fizz as a 'son' and 'grand baby', firmly asserting himself as a leader who commands respect which isn't entirely bad, all whilst behaving like a strict stage parent from the very beauty pageants he criticizes, and why? Because it's effective maybe? Like it or not we saw his shows go on to be a massive success.

In the real world we have things widely and rightfully condemned like low grade junk food and cheap clothes, only at the same time as some fat cat getting richer pushing poor quality, these goods are being made accessible to those with little who can't afford better. A greedy business person person who wants more customers likely doesn't care that they are doing great harm or help.

Looloo land was a good example of corporate greed big business that people benefit from, like it or not. This place was easily accessible and the workforce were anyone.

Mammon protected his rip off inspired work with a contract so tight that the leader of hell can't do anything about it.

A complex contract is something we would see again with fellow villain and successful gangster businessman Crimson.

Blitzø on the other hand is not failing because he's their opposite which is 'good', he is failing because he is a very proud, arrogant individual who wants his idea to just work, there's little wiggle room. It was Moxxie who would learn in the episode where he was allowed to lead his own mission that a 'my way or the highway' attitude can bring more issues than solution.

Back to Moxxie. When his very greedy and sinister dad was ready to use him for a business deal that would involve an arranged marriage, he tried superficially winning Moxxie over by rigging the house with dildos, assuming he must enjoy stuff like that.

This guy objectified and forced the hand of his own adult child with zero interest and regard.

Yet did we have to see Mammon being made to rebuke these behaviours and let us know there's limitations to his greed? No, he didn't need to tone down.

Only 'greed' is held to accountability

The higher ups have to be humbled in order to be liked, the only ways seems to be to have a place themselves alongside and have sexual relationship with those at the very bottom of society

and not be responsible for the negative aspects of what they govern over are.

All the fun and non of the responsibility

As covered, Bee and Ozzie who we had to learn are believers in knowing your limits and consent, are nothing to with any trouble associate with them that follow,

ws. so whilst Crimson provided excellent groundwork for Mammon with his greed and making a loved imp sad, there have been two missed opportunities to passively pad out Ozzie and Bee.

Verosika the sucubus SA Moxxie with her gang, they shapeshifted into cute humans to come to earth and host a sucubus hosted beach party, to corrupt a bunch of youths. Verosika would also be revealed to be an addict, along with Barbiewire. Verosika would travel to earth with beeljuice which caused a massive scene.

Barbie shape shifted into a human, travelled with Ozzie's crystals (something Stolas as high up as he is had to request) and seduced a teenager into helping her push drugs.

But it's not Ozzie nor Bee's issues, they don't associate with the negative aspects of what they rule over.

Two side characters are pushing frowned upon over indulgence and degeneracy amungst kids on earth.

In a story where the parent story tells us that there's a hell overpopulation problem.

An issue that is dealt with via genocide and the mess left behind in the form of devine weapon parts, can slay the higher ups!

But that's not Ozzie nor Bee's issues?

[incessanttranquility]

Gehenna's First Ever Cook-Off! The Finals! (Part 4)

—

LTD!MC : Hello everyone and welcome back to our cook-off! This will be our finals as our contestants will be cooking dinner for our two judges, everyone, brace yourselves as this cook-off gets pretty tense! Who will be the champion of this cook-off? We shall find out as the cook-off begins once again! Starting now!

—

Team Solomon :

OM!Solomon : Looks delicious as usual :D *Cooking pot is literally steaming black smoke.*

WHB!Solomon : :o looks appetizing :3

OM!Solomon : Thank you, and now it's done! <D

WHB!Solomon : Yay! :] I'll go get a plate :D

*Dish definitely looks... delicious! Totally doesn't look like a frozen soup but the soup is a black substance with octopus legs and chicken feet sticking out of it!*

OM!Solomon : It looks very nice :D I'll just add a pinch of salt and put it in the oven for 10 minutes :3

—

Team Cats and Tea :

*WHB!Satan and OM!Satan is arguing about who will be baking a strawberry pie, Sitri is just doing his own thing, focusing because he wants to win, obviously.*

WHB!Satan : Give me that whisk, NOW.

OM!Satan : There is no fucking way in hell I'm giving this to YOU.

WHB!Satan : As if you can even make a perfect strawberry pie.

OM!Satan : Pfft, hahaha! You're saying that as if you can do that as well, you can't even make a fucking pancake!

WHB!Satan : What the fuck did you just say?!

OM!Satan : I said that you can't even make a fucking pancake, are you fucking deaf or what?!

WHB!Satan : Grr... *crunches teeth as he tackles OM!Satan, they just continue to argue while Sitri just cooks curry, not even giving a shit because all that he cares about is winning, he totally wasn't giving glares at Minhyeok for a moment and then focusing back onto his cooking after that! totally!*

—

Team Best friends :

Minhyeok : Hm, seems that the soup is now ready, Ppyong, I'll help you cook the chicken.

Ppyong : Alright, aye!

Minhyeok : There, while we wait for the chicken to cook, we'll make cherry and pumpkin pie, some iced tea would probably go with it as well, I'll think about that later, but for now, let's make cherry pie first.

Ppyong : Sure, aye! :D

—

Team Mammon :

OM!Mammon : ...Gold, again..? Really?

WHB!Mammon : Yes, except it's cupcakes and ice cream :D

OM!Mammon : Alright but, uh... can we at least cook somethin' that doesn't involve gold...?

WHB!Mammon : Sure :D

OM!Mammon : Alrighty! I'll cook noodles!

WHB!Mammon : Okay :3

—

Team Envy :

OM!Leviathan : ..You've been doing this for 6 hours now...

WHB!Leviathan : *Literally just glaring at him.*

OM!Leviathan : ...I'm making pizza.. can you please at least help...?

WHB!Leviathan : ...Fine.

OM!Leviathan : Finally...

—

LTD!MC : Times up! Contestants, please present your dish.

Sitri : Here you go.

LTD!MC : ...Uh, what the hell happened to those two?

Sitri : They kept on arguing, and both of them ended up getting covered in patches.

LTD!MC : ...Oh, uh, well then, let's move on!

WHB!MC : Pretty good honestly, the curry kind of lacks a little flavor but still good.

OM!MC : As for the pumpkin pie, the taste is... something else, at least it isn't on Solomon's level...

LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?

WHB!MC : We're gonna give it an 8

LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 22. next contestants, please.

—

Minhyeok : We both got pretty tired making the pie crust, but it's worth it, here you guys go ^^

WHB!MC : Another full-course meal, I love my wife so much.

OM!MC : My taste buds got cured after tasting Minhyeok's pumpkin pie. *Nom.*

LTD!MC : ...Judges, what would you rate this full-course meal?

WHB!MC : 10, obviously.

LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 25, next contestants please.

—

OM!Solomon : Here's our dish :D *Octopus arm is literally sticking out of the soup.*

WHB!MC : I wasn't prepared for this moment.

OM!MC : ... *Faints.*

WHB!MC : Nope, I'm definitely not gonna eat this.

LTD!MC : ...Alright, judges, what would you rate this.. dish..?

WHB!MC : I don't want to make both of them sad so we're gonna give them an 8.

LTD!MC : Alright, that gives them to the total of 16, Next contestants, please. (Note : they got 16 because in part 2, they got an 8 as well, I just forgot to write it because part 3.2 was rushed)

—

WHB!Mammon : Here :D

OM!MC : Gold Ice Cream is yummy, honestly. As for the curry, it lacks some flavor, but it's okay.

OM!Mammon : Hell yeah! I knew ya would like my cookin'!

WHB!MC : *Lick lick.* Delicious, would eat again honestly.

LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?

WHB!MC : A 9/10.

LTD!MC : Great, that brings to the total of 18, last contestants, please present your dish.

—

WHB!Leviathan : Here.

OM!MC : Mm, tastes really good honestly, but not Minhyeok level, still, it's good.

WHB!MC : I want another slice. *Nom.*

LTD!MC : Alright judges, what would you rate this dish?

WHB!MC : A 10/10. *Nom.*

LTD!MC : Great! That brings to the total of 19, Team Best friends are the winners!

Ppyong : Uwahhh!!! I'm so so happy!!

Minhyeok : Me too, even though I wasn't expecting this, I'm still happy about this ^^

Sitri : WHY YOU— *Got so mad that he started running up to Minhyeok, Satan followed because he also got jealous.*

Minhyeok : E-eh?! What did I do wrong?! *Starts running away.*

LTD!MC : ...Well then, before our cook-off finishes, let us receive messages from our guests one last time!

—

TWST!Yuu : HELL YEAH MINHYEOK WON WOOHOO

Malleus : I'd say that his cooking does look flavorsome and appetizing, Child of Man, would you like me to cook something for you as well?

TWST!Yuu : Awww, sure! Why not?

Malleus : Thank you Child of Man, we'll do it later, I'll walk you to Diasomnia once I ease up.

MM!MC : I knew it, Minhyeok was going to win.

WHB!Beelzebub : The two got way too jealous of him! Hahahaha!

Bael : Now that the cook-off is finished, are you gonna go to work now?

WHB!Beelzebub : Aww man, c'mon now... I still wanna wander around!

Bael : ..You've already left your post for a week now.

WHB!Beelzebub : ...Fine..

LTD!MC : Aaaand that is all for our cook-off! Thanks to the guests for coming here to watch this spectacular Cook-Off! Who knows? Maybe we'll host another one? But once again, thank you everyone for enjoying our Cook-off! I am your host, and goodbye! See y'all soon!

—

Note : WOOHOO I AM FINALLY FINISHED BABY, I might make another one but with the Tartaros demons, so stay tuned :3 It won't be posted here though, It'll be posted on my account @luochaarchivist because I'm abandoning this account, just go follow me there if y'all want to :3

Anyways gonna go tag moot @takitafulily

[rebornologist]

♡ Misc. Varia Headcanons ✧ 2 of 2

I'm finally finishing what I started.

♡ Xanxus smells like whisky in a wood smoked glass, a recently snuffed candle, leather, iron, and pomade.

He has really fast metabolism, which is why he seems to always be hungry. Just as quickly as he gets tipsy off of a few drinks, him standing around, drinking some water, or eating something tends to make him sober up. He's built up some impressive tolerance for alcohol through the years and would absolutely body a drinking contest if he ever stooped to such a level.

He likes a lot of cracked black pepper in his steak and isn't as much of a fan of garlic and onions. He appreciates herby notes like thyme, bay leaves, and rosemary, especially with a gamey meat like lamb. He hates vegetables. Partially because he's a hypermasculine weirdo, and partially because they leave him hungry soon after eating, and he just gets ridiculously hangry.

Speaking of hangry, it's because he often suffered from hunger pains as a child. His mother was not well-off, and they only had just enough to get by. That changed when he was taken in by Timoteo. He doesn't remember much of his time with his birth mother because he was so young, but the pain of a ghrelin spike just makes him feel absolutely awful and sets him off.

Xanxus isn't a huge desserts guy but appreciates a good chocolate mousse or a homemade flan. He has a soft spot for a very boozy tiramisu. He learned the base recipe from Timoteo, but the extra rum is his own personal touch. He doesn't drink coffee (it makes his hands shake and it bothers him a lot) but will tolerate it when it's in dessert.

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♡ Mammon smells like dust, an incoming thunderstorm, baby powder, and refrigerant. They use mild, unscented, sensitive (baby) soap by choice, because it's cheap and it works.

They enjoy playing mahjong because of the sensory component. Cards comes close in second, but they aren't as good at cards and unwilling it gamble with cards as much as they do with mahjong. It's pretty easy for an illusionist to create multiplier tiles out of nothing, so they’re somewhat of a mahjong master.

Mammon gets more easily stressed than they let on. They always have a million thoughts running through their mind, and they are fairly bad at mindfulness or meditation, surprisingly. Their vivid visualization abilities make it extremely difficult to clear their mind. They are prone of stress nightmares, and do not sleep as much as they should as a result. They absolutely are a night owl and make up for it through occasional midday naps.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊

♡ Squalo is a fairly good driver, never mind the road rage and always being in a rush. I didn't say he wasn't reckless, but he has fast reaction speed and knows how to handle his vehicle on the road. He prefers manual to automatic transmission and was caught off guard by the automatic cars that were popular in Japan. He would catch himself habitually moving his foot to the nonexistent clutch, or trying to pull the stick in a way that it simply wouldn't go. Anyone pointing that out will just piss him off and he will drive even more aggressively.

He always eats just enough to sustain himself and supply his body with the energy to build the muscle he needs, almost with efficiency as more of a priority than enjoying the food. A result of the fast pace, physical demands, and immense pressures of his work. He also has a fast metabolism, so he's always been fairly lean, but he runs cold. Something about the long limbs and poor circulation. He appreciates a good hearty soup and misses the cooking from his childhood no matter how much he tries to deny himself that yearning.

Squalo definitely gives "grew up too fast", in part through his family's expectations on him, and himself being extremely ambitious in his youth and choosing to fly the coop and shoulder so much more than the average teenage boy. He chose to pursue the sword and made the bold decision to dedicate his life to it from early on. He does not regret it one bit, but it comes up in times of high stress. Sometimes he almost wishes that he could be as emotionally unhinged as Xanxus, and to just be irresponsible and destructive when overwhelmed by emotions... but someone has to be collected enough to lead around here.

Not to get off topic here, but I really don't feel right thinking and writing about Xanxus going hungry as a child without thinking about children who are starving in real life.

I know this is just a fandom blog, but I cannot post this without flagging this post for d0nation matches to people currently having their food, water, families, homes, land, and lives taken from them. Sorry to end on something so grim, but if y'all want to support my blog, please support what I care about as a human being. From river to sea,