#like yes people can write what they want but also be aware that you are perpetuating the norm that violent
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BINGQIU VS LIUSHEN/ANY OTHER SHIP WITH SQQ PART 1
BEWARE I HAVENT READ SVSSS IN A WHILE AND I MIGHTâVE MISSED SOME STUFF! Feel free to correct and give your opinions about this.
Theres gonna be two parts to this bc tumblr canât take all my writing sooooo đ
In the SVSSS fandom, Iâve noticed that compared to other mxtxâs novels, the mc gets shipped with half of the cast more often and is more widely accepted in the fandom compared to the tgcf and mdzs fandoms (if you ship Hualian or Wangxian with anyone, it will get you death threats, istg đ). However, with Shen Qingqiu, while of course he gets shipped with his love interests, another really popular one is him with Liu Qingge and many other characters in the novel. I do think this also has to do with the fact that the fandom is more chill than the other two fandoms. Shen Qingqiu in general is just VERY shippable. But why? Why do some people like liushen more than bingqiu? Obviously, I know this is simply a preference, but why do people prefer it more than the canon couple? Well, I have some speculations. First, while I love Bingqiu, I can admit that their relationship is not for everyone; even for me, theyâre my least favorite main couple of the three (it's just my opinion, DONT ATTACK MEđ) because their dynamic can be seen as somewhat toxic. Luo Binghe is very obsessive and kind of yandare like in the novel, and yes, he does have character development and regrets his actions and never really wanted to hurt Shen Qingqiu. I personally donât feel like we see as much of this development until the very end. At least for me, I feel like we shouldâve spent more time with a changed Luo Binghe, and I KNOW he was influenced by Xi Mo. I still didnât feel completely satisfied with the Luo Binghe arc. I do think we see more of his development in the extras, which is what made me like Bingqiu a lot more, but I just wish we couldâve seen this in the main story instead of optional extras because I think the extras really show Luo Bingheâs growth and his love for Shen Qingqiu in a healthier way. I am aware this boy is very mentally ill. While Iâm not a writer, as a reader, I think mxtx couldâve done more for him because he can end up more dislikable for some people and just less appealing of a love interest. I personally LOVE Luo Binghe and how chaotic he is, but again, that is not for everyone, so I can definitely see why some people donât like him as much. With Shen Qingqiu, this is a bit different. I felt that by the end of the novel he had massive progress and huge development for his character; even if he still has his flaws, you can really tell he has changed and grown throughout the story, but heâs still himself if that makes sense. I felt wayyy more satisfied with his arc than Luo Binghe's; however, I will say that Shen Qingqiu has this sort of shame. While I wouldnât necessarily call it internalized homophobia, he does have this sort of stigma towards gay people and him being gay himself. And while it can be funny, if you really think about it, even by the end of the novel and in the extras he still has this shame of sleeping with Binghe and showing basic affection, but I wonât really criticize this much because he does improve in this a lot by the extras. By that point, it really feels more like shyness than the shame he felt at the beginning when he first discovered Luo Binghe's feelings. So I will argue that Shen Qingqiu arc is pretty well done and concluded by the end of the book; at least to me, it really did feel like he changed. Okay, so the second reason is because Bingqiu got together when they were both still ânot at their bestâ. What do I mean by this? Well in tgcf Xie lian had to endure a lot of torture and experience several traumatic situations and almost released face disease and killed a bunch of people with it. He was clearly very mentally unwell! And for Hua Cheng, he also went through a lot of trauma with his mom dying when he was young and the abuse he went through from his father and the kids who made fun of him to the point where he wanted to end his life, and then later he became a ghost with his parasocial attachment to a god. We see these characters at their worst, but when they get together, they are already 800+ years old and have lived a long life and matured and learned from their experiences.
#mxtx#mxtx svsss#svsss#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#liu qingge#bingqiu#liushen#tgcf#scum villian self saving system#mxtx tgcf#tgcf xie lian#xie lian#hua cheng#tian guan ci fu#mxtx mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#opinion#share your thoughts#danmei
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A VERY LONG ARCANE S2 REVIEW (Not spoiler free below page break)
Firstly, these are all my opinions and everyone is entirely entitled to their own. If you hated S2? Thatâs fine but I didnât. So, I will be doing a kind of general breakdown of my thoughts on each act below but first my general review is that I think in terms of overall story telling, season 1 is better.
To ME, S2 seems like more of what they initially had in mind for the show, and they just really nailed the exposition of S1. This is what I think made S1âs pacing feel a lot better - itâs all exposition for S2. Season 2 had to fit a climax and resolution for all of these characters in the same amount of time that they took to set up all of these story lines in the previous season. I genuinely think that each act could have been itâs own season but w/ how expensive the show is to make and the amount of time production took between seasons, I see how thatâs not practical. Especially if they want to explore other regions sooner than 15 years from now.
TBH I really enjoyed this season. I understand some people are hating it because of the parts they donât like but itâs still a visually stunning show with great characters. Do I think there were areas where the story fell flat? Yes. I also think given the time constraints and restriction of this being the last season, the visual story telling was very well done and a great way to move along the story without sacrificing time. I genuinely think itâs such a phenomenal feat of animation that characters expressions convey thoughts and emotions that feel real without dialogue. I still am blown away that itâs a LoL show because despite my love of league lore and characters, I never would have expected that Riot could produce such a heart wrenching show about the tragic nature of love and loss, the things we do for love, and the flaws of our own humanity.
I also think some people set their expectations WAYYY too high for the social commentary aspect of the show after s1, as far as Iâm aware there was never any claim made by any part of the prod or writing team that it would be one. Idk overall, I thought it was a lot of fun and still an exceptional show. Not what I was expecting but Iâm not upset about how it ended. I think it was conclusive but also not so finite that it leaves zero room for interpretation of the characters implied futures.
It is a little disheartening to see so many immediate negative reactions to it but, again, people are entitled to their own opinions and as much as I complain about people not using critical thinking skills or passing grade 9 literature - art is subjective. Animation, ESPECIALLY at this scale and complexity, is a form of art. I, as Iâm sure many otherâs did, found it a fulfilling end to one of my favorite shows. Yes, I wish there was more but I canât bring myself to be disappointed with what we did get.
Below is my (again PERSONAL and NOT SPOILER FREE) 1-10 rating and my thoughts on each act (not really going to analyze anything because I need about 3-5 weeks to scrub through every episode so only my little reviews) :
ACT 1 (7/10) : I think this act is the one with the worst pacing, but I said a whole back in a previous post that I believe to some degree it was intentional. There is suddenly a war happening so I think itâs supposed to feel chaotic a bit chaotic. However I can concede to part of it just being, well, bad pacing. This act is definitely one I wish could have taken up more episodes if there were more seasons since I would prefer flushed out development as opposed to music videos at the beginning of each episode. However, for what it was, they serve their purpose narratively and relay the information that the viewer needs to know. Otherwise, as heartbreaking as the act is, I gotta put myself on blast and say that I LOVE the end sequence of ep 3 when Ambessa makes Caitlyn commander. Like itâs so daunting and cool. Ep 1 fight scene at the memorial? super sick. I also loved the development of the dynamic between Sevika and Jinx. You can feel the characters devolve into a version of themselves that truly is worse and I think thatâs so fun. Most of my drop in rating is from how fast it feels.
ACT 2: 9/10
I simultaneously have so much and so little to say. I wonât talk about Ishaâs death because to me it was fairly evident that she was going to die from act 1. Anyways, for me this was the most tragic act and Iâm still trying to decide between this and act 3 as my favorite. I love them both, in different ways. Seeing Jinx and Vi be brought together and Vander was so touching and sad. You get a real look of how much they still care for each other despite the fact that theyâre perpetually ripped apart. Iâve already made a post about the scene between Caitlyn and Vi, so I wonât just say the same thing Iâve already said. I also honestly am not upset that Viâs âsix-ish months of going insaneâ wasnât drawn out. Again, I donât LOVE the music videos, but narratively, it tells you virtually everything you need to know about whatâs happened to her and where she is mentally. Itâs literally a montage of her life for the past several months. As a recovering addict and someone known to self destruct, I would much rather they condense that like they did rather than draw it out and not handle it well. If youâre going to be cynical, you could say they didnât anyways but, recovering addict, so I was more worried before the act 2 release that it would be triggering rather than handled poorly.
Jayce coming back and tweaking out was also such a fun touch when it wasnât explained until the next episode why he was acting that way. Like I figured it had to do with the hex crystal now fused with his body but it was still so interesting.
ACT 3: 9/10
Maybe unpopular but I LOVED this act. Everything was so visually intriguing that on my first watch I wasnât even fully locked in just because I was focused on how good the imagery/animation is. I thought I was going to hate ep 7 because, unfortunately that leak was real (no I wonât be changing my pfp to a clown like I said I was bc Iâm stubborn) but the implication to me of that episode was not âVi dead so everything good!â itâs that they saw a kid die because of the crystals Jayce had and, in brevity, saw what the tension between the undercity and Piltover was doing to people. I am curious what happened to THAT universes Jayce but I imagine he was probably imprisoned.
Obviously, I have to address the sex scene, and honestly? I donât mind that itâs in a jail cell BECAUSE of the very obvious parallel to how they first met. It was also done in such a wonderful way that it feels like a legitimately intimate scene between the characters and not just a âman well I suppose they need to fuck, huh.â or male gaze-y âlesbians đ¤¤â way.
I will be honest and say I donât like multiverse stuff since it kind of kills the whole âarcane is cannonâ thing. I also just donât love it in general because in recent years itâs been just a cop out for companies to make more money off of IPs (see Marvel) but it makes me want to go back and rewatch s1 again to see if this has always been the plan. I donât mind Viktor being the wizard that Jayce sees when he is a kid since they tied that up in a way thats really cool. I do think itâs an episode though that, after seeing it a couple of times, is easily skippable since it doesnât really do a ton for the main plot. Like Ekko gets his Z drive, heimerdinger (i think?) dies, and Jayce discovers the damage hextech can do. Donât get me wrong, I really like the episode, unfortunately it is just one that I feel like viewers can skip over upon rewatch because of the AU stuff.
Also MEL, I love her storyline with the black rose and I really hope that her putting on the Noxian clothing in the end is an indication that we will get more of her if Riot does a series based in Noxus.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane spoilers#caitvi#caitlyn kiramman#vi arcane#arcane league of legends#jayce talis#viktor arcane#yell at me if you must#rambles#jinx#ekko#also this is probably a little messy because I was writing this as a whole
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the way youve ONLY spit facts with every ask i've sent you. NOT A SINGLE ONE OF THESE WASN'T PEAK!!! time to discuss every single hc brought up in this,,,, whenever i think about a "dust gets replaced the most in the trio when w nm" i always think about like. the logistics of that. like if horror wasn't such a COWARD when it came to anything deadly to him (i always think about that one panel of him getting pissed at the suggestion of walking through blue snow,,,,, my cowardly son don't stop being the pathetic loser you are) then i totally think that he'd be up there with death count. a horrortale-less horror with no fear and no reason to live would be SO reckless. UAGH but anyways,,,, i love thinking about this. but also i dont know anymore when it comes to dust and his deaths that people make him a bit TOO reckless. remembering this fic where dust was investigating killer's private business or whatever sneaking around he was and im looking back at it like. dude shouldn't you be trying to get back to dusttale??? YOU HAVE HIGHER PRIORITIES (but the fic was actually good i could dismiss the weirdness). idk i just dont think he'd be SPITEFUL SPITEFUL unless provoked imo. i've spent too much time rambling about these 14 words in this ask,,,,,,
ANYWAYS finally onto the next sentence. maybe the whole post i made about killer keeping an elaborate internal profile on dust and horror wasn't enough but killer with a microscope at the little disposable glass slides that feature horror and dust is just one of my favorite FAVORITE THINGS :333 my favorite,,,, they'd hate it SO much!!! so much,,,, and then onto horror i also think Yes. maybe he sees the new dust making the same mistakes the previous dusts did like disobeying some sort of hidden rule of nightmare's (maybe killer would give him little tips and tricks. but also ALSO horror is literally described as "the closest thing to a hint system" in horrortale so yk,,,, wait i should totally think about this more in a seperate post but ANYWAYS) and he's like ughhh shit i should tell him to stop. but would he be pessimistic enough to not want to do anything to help dust after all of these despite the bafflement??? horror would feel like shit for not intervening but also like his incredible awareness that this is a NEW dust. not the old one that he had some form of a shitty bond,,,, so why even help him AAAAND there pop up the pessimistic mindset that all of the trio have soooo
AND I LIKE TOTALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS BEFORE IN A PREVIOUS POST!!! YES!!!! he would. horror DEFINITELY doesn't approve of feeding people humans but dust and killer are the exception. just because they deserve it and it's probably some kind of fucked up self punishment anyways since projection onto another you must be some form of SELF harm. mtt parallels,,,, ANYWAYS no WAY they like that shit in my eyes. like if even HORROR who's used to human consumption and even feeds (haha PUN) into the human food system doesn't like the cannibalism then why the HELL would dust or even emotionless killer would like it. killer doesn't realize it in the moment but after eating that shit he's so damn disgusted and he doesn't even know why. its not even JUST his emotions because UAGH!!! THE BODY IS REACTING TOO!!! THIS SUCKS!!! and dust just. why can't he throw up,,,,,,, but in like a less canon adjacent path they'd freak over this shit. awww horror you fed up a special treat made with love?? thats so sweeeeet <333 i can't describe it well through text but i can imagine it in my head. creep time trio my beloved. when they ditch the "danger to eachother" part of "danger to eachother and everyone around them" and instead just decide to be public service enemies to everyone around them!!!!!!
buubonita you sneaky little mosquito THIS NEXT HC IS JUST YOUR LITTLE FIC SNIPPETS YOU POSTED!!! you THOUGHT your amazing writing could sneak past ME; TRIGLYCERCULE: rememberer of nothing but the murder time trio. you fool,,,,, i was wondering what the context behind that snippet was. liiike did killer rip out his eye for some reason??? he got THAT curious??? but yeah that makes more sense for there to be some other reason. but i am not You and The Writer so that's up to you to decide bludbonita. that snippet reminded me of this mini horrordust comic where dust donated his eye to an eyeless horror??? i dont remember it was like last year but anyways
would horror play the trombone in front of the two i Don't Know because that leans more into Sans Undertale canon for me to comment on. i am a LIAR i say i am a fan of the murder tine trio bu i dont even know much about their origin...... (moving on) CAT DOG RABBIT TRIO MENTIONED,,,,, YES!!! YES!!!!!! YEAASASAGGHHHHHHH!!!!! killer likes cats for obvious reasons,,,, horror would like dogs because idk (aside from him giving off dog vibes imo) dogs used to be like. wolves. hunter gatherer helpers. horror "hunts" even though all the hunting is just him playing psychological games with humans and leading them to their demise. HE LITERALLY IS THE PHRASE SLY DOG THAT'S LITERALLY HIM. and then obvious dust bunny pun. if i were well versed enough in like animal symbolism id probably find a serious rabbit connection to him. or maybe hare. perhaps on a rainy day i shall research for my trio!
that sleeping mask hc is SO CUTE,,,, THATS SO FUCKING CUTE I LOVE THAY I LOVE IT SOOOO MUCH EDYAGAHHHH!!!! RUDAGAH!!!!!! kitty face mask perhaps. it might get stained or degraded with his eye goop but still,,,, bro probably doesn't even close his eyes behind the mask but at least he doesn't get the extra sensory stimulation. and they dont get JUMPSCARED seeing killer sleep with his eyes open (they look even more empty than usual when he's asleep). the inner fluff lover in me came out in this little hc (which i will in fact be adopting thank you very much. this one is too good to pass up!)
i ALSO really love this one. dare i say i've never actually considered how they ALL would snap themselves out of dissociation (UNFORTUNATELY i don't have multiple brains. nor is mine fully developed yet. that is Okay) but this is so,,,4 rhavh the way that physical touch is how they all ground themselves??? funny how killer's the only NOT dangerous to himself toođ i should probably do more research on dissociation but i do like the biting hands thing to snap dust out of what im gonna guess as more of an emotional detachment from the people and situation around him. maybe when things get BAD BAD he like. shoots some bones at himself. as if biting wasn't bad enough but at least he gets some penitentiary retribution through this. and then horror TOO but maybe with the depressive life that he lives in. maybe to remind himself that not EVERYTHING is pointless and wont lead to anything because uhhh it DOES lead to SOMEWHERE. at least what he's reminding himself of is the worst possible somewhere that things could lead to but ehhhh whatever idk im not a professional on this
FINALLY last hc,,,,, yeah he does that. what the fuck man horror could pop out the most HILARIOUS bangers and he gets NOTHING back??? smh he needs to raise his standards and take his ass to someone better (his standards are RAISED it is just that unfortunately horror has no other choice. dust and killer aren't even the best he could settle with)
the way that this was SO long..... enjoy this ramble. i didn't LIE when i said i'd respond to every ask of mine you answer đđđ
dear buubonita,
it's gotten to the point that i'm running out of ask ideas so now i have to resort to my trump card: MTT ASKS!!!! what are you,,,,,r favorite,,,,, mtt hcs that you have for them,,,,,,,, even if its worlds most basic hc IDC (devours the mtt content)
denied from the pearly gates, triglycercule
MTT headcanons! here we go. They're not that big of a deal though.
Dust is the one who's been replaced the most times out of the group, Killer being the detail-oriented guy that he is, is able to tell the slight differences, starting with the fact that Dust doesn't know them, but their tastes tend to vary a bit.
Like the old Dust likes bourbon and the new one prefers vodka instead. Very insignificant things that serve as a reminder that the Dust they know is gone. Horror has a bad memory, but not when it comes to remembering his teammates' antics. He feels baffled, not just because Nightmare took Dust from them one day and shoved another in their faces as if they couldn't possibly know what's going on.
A shorter hc is that Horror has fed Killer and Dust human parts before. It was on a "date". Dust felt a bit uneasy, Killer took it for what it is; something new. Killer never stops trying something new. (We get it, stfu with the joke)
Whether or not they enjoy human flesh, I'll leave to your own amusement.
Dust had his eye ripped out once, Killer took it to dissect (but he wasn't the one who pulled it out) and Nightmare asked him to go get a replacement. Horror had to be the surgeon on duty from experience and put the new thing in its place.
I personally don't see any of the three smoking weed đ, Dust may have tried but let's just say it's not a good additive to his degraded mind. I don't see Killer smoking anything at all, though he might be willing to try too. I'd say it's not something he'll pick up as a habit in the end.
Horror doesn't consume anything at all.
Killer, Dust and Horror can play the trombone. Though I like to think Horror is the only one still playing it.
Killer likes cats
Horror likes dogs
Dust likes bunnies (and rodents)
Killer sleeps with his eyes open (and his little hands on his soul) Horror and Dust gave him a sleeping mask so they wouldn't have to see him.
Their methods for getting out of dissociation;
Dust has a tendency to bite others, but he mostly bites his hands. Horror sticks his hand in the hole and scratches a lot, and Killer pinches others in the face (although this seems to be canon, I love it)
Horror is the only one who still makes puns, but neither Dust nor Killer usually laugh with him when that happens... (difficult audience)
#the way writing and thinking about this GENUINELY TOOK HOURS#what the FUCK i didnt realize how long these things took#i'm not sick of the murder time trio i'm sick of having to type#CANT SOMEONE JUST TYPE FOR ME I SWEAR I CANT TYPE ANYMORE#tricule rb#i have so much to say and i just realized that#all of these responses to my asks gets me GOING because HOW AM I WRITING SO MUCH ON SOME STUPID RAMBLES
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my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship
and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.
#carver hawke#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me#carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices#in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested#'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship#look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on#honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden#oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude#also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character#but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them#and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family#for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo.....#i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause#also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off#sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day
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The art is lovely and now I'm gonna ramble because that's what I do when I care about something.
For the love of women, please PLEASE can fan artists remember to add muscle to their Shadowhunter ladies? I'll commend Bowater for cleverly giving James that sculpted and lean look without making him a beefcake (nothing against beefcakes, I'd love to hug them), but Cordelia is once again suffering from Arms And Shoulders Too Slender It's Hard To Even Imagine Her Picking Up A Sword. There is some there, yes, but artists shouldn't be afraid of giving particularly Female Main Characters weight and toned muscle. Cordelia is supposed to be nearly the same height as James as far as I can remember, and she's curvy, and full, and she wields a sword like it's second nature to her. Please explain why she looks so tiny in James' lap.
Also I'm pretty sure marriage runes are supposed to go over the heart whenever possible (thinking about Will's parabatai rune being over his heart instead -- he didn't get Tessa to draw over the scar, did he??) and... either I'm looking at the picture wrong or James' rune is not over where his heart should be.
For the matter, where are their other runes and scars?? James' Voyance rune isn't even on his hand. And I'm pretty sure he's right handed. I could have that wrong though.
Another thing: no one can ever decide what Cordelia's hair looks like and it's the funniest thing to me. This is what happens when all you do is vaguely say the colour is like fire but also like rose petals but also a flowing river of those things but also is Red (probably for redhead, but then from there I never understand where the rose petal analogy comes from considering the typical rose is a deep bloody colour -- I do acknowledge the existence of those light orange varieties though which might more closely resemble red hair). In the end, I'm glad readers can infer what they want and imagine the characters how they like.
Anyone else think James looks like he's built like a tennis player? Oddly specific, maybe, but it was a thought I had. Mostly the arms and somewhat narrow body.
James' hair is nice, his eyes are an interesting take on gold in the shadows. Bowater managed to also make him look closely related to his father, so bravo for that.
In the end, the focus is obviously on the marriage runes and not other physical aspects outside of it being clear that this is James and Cordelia. Bowater's style is very beautiful and elegant. Love the way fabric and lighting is done too. I'll add also that it is possible to be a smaller person who is slender but still strong so I mean Cordelia's not necessarily done wrong, I just interpret her appearance differently. Obviously, they're both hot and they're both attractive and I have my qualms with the series, chronicles, and author -- the fandom I am so-so on, though I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm taking the time to ramble about my thoughts on a piece of fanart -- but this is good. Gorgeous, even. Both James and Cordelia are beautiful.
#side note: am I the only one who thought cc made a mistake trying to describe james as handsome in cordelia's eyes#as opposed to matthew being the beautiful one#when there has always been a deep and aching strange beauty to james??#james herondale#cordelia carstairs#vaguely crediting charlie bowater though it isn't like you can't find a dozen more copies of this with the credit#also yes I mercilessly picked this apart because I am still trying to find avenues to express my dissatisfaction with tlh#I search for flaws what else can I say#I am aware of it but it's hard to turn those thoughts processes off#maybe I'll write a post at some point all about the authors I once Loved that I am now deeply critical of#a lot of people would hate me for it but eh#also we all know about the marvelisation of cinema#but is it time to talk about the marvelisation of book series/worlds?#or perhaps it has a better and more book-focused name? the jkr approach? rick riordan's marvel-esque flaw? the sjm plague? the clare affair?#we'll workshop it#maybe it's the curse of middleschool-YA series and the issue of aginh readers in fandoms#and I don't mean this as discriminatory against anyone older in fandom because there is not really a limit nor should there be#for most media#but the issue of when the readers grow up amd authors try to accomodate for that -- not necessarily by making their work more adult --#but by making MORE because there is also an influx of new fans and they want to stay relevant while retaining the old#it's a whole thing though I'd need to sit down to properly organise my thoughts to talk about it
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Itâs actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things âmarketableâ and itâs making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc itâs been cooking me how people donât Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gusâs devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but letâs not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesnât Interact with him when it doesnât concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if itâs bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith donât even miss Gus when he âdiedâ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasnât it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than weâve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gusâs angle) relationship#thatâs being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but itâs so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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Okay, no, sorry, Iâm still mad about this. âBe critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.â Yeah, until itâs about mental illness.
A woman (or even man, if heâs deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, âWhat are they complaining about, thatâs so immature, hashtag wangst.â (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.)Â People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case theyâre âwhinyâ and âinsufferableâ and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, theyâre ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) âDo your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.â Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, itâs always no.)
I canât get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldnât get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic⢠queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship⢠can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckooâs Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.
I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iâm so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#*OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW REPRESENTATION/FICTIONAL DISABILITY IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL OF ACTIVISM*#*OTHER OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW LIKING '''pRoBLeMaTiC''' CONTENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON OR A HORRIFYING ABLEIST*#THIS WAS JUST ME GETTING MAD IT'S NOT THAT DEEP#In the Vents#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way#like. in some of these cases yes I /KNOW/ it was not meant to come across like that!!! but y'all accept that as a valid type of media#criticism when it's about anything else!!!!!!!! just not this apparently????!?!!!!#I do not understand how there is such an ABYSMAL treatment of the subject of mental illness in fiction when this is the#memetic Mental Illness Website like genuinely I do not get it I am scaling my walls and banging pots and pans and growling like a rabid dog#IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MESSAGE A STORY IS TELLING YOU GOTTA APPLY IT HERE TOO#I AM ALSO THE LAST PERSON TO SAY THAT YOU'VE GOTTA ADD A DISCLAIMER OF SOMETHING'S LAUNDRY LIST OF FLAWS BEFORE YOU TALK ABOUT IT#BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ON SOME LEVEL EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO YOURSELF THAT THINGS HAVE FLAWS#YOU'VE GOTTA BE AWARE OF SHIT#WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE OUTCRY OVER BURY YOUR DISABLED THAT WE DO OVER BYG (WHICH IS ALSO BAD BTW)#I GUARANTEE YOU WE WON'T BE GETTING A SEPARATE FUCKING CON OVER FANDOM OUTCRY THAT'S FOR SURE#I'm making a rule: if you can prove to me that you've started cxgf after reading this and/or if you can prove to me#that you've watched pure (channel 4/hbo max-the one with charly clive) I'll write a fic for you#let's see if I get sniped for criticizing both the beloved sacred mads show AND the plane crash girls show#if I see ONE more comment about how either of those is a perfect show that Gets What All The People Want I will in fact spontaneously#combust.#(and before you @ me yes I have any and all permutations of show tags blocked I'm not just being mean to be mean)#my god remember what happened the last time I tried to talk about this a;lsdfkajs;ldfkj#good thing I turned off anonymous asks!!#this is not even getting into some of the SMALLER fandoms#like I do not ever want to think about the takes I saw for ctrlz EVER again
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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billions(tm): it's incredible how we just provide a little snippet of material designed to be "guy we all want to push down the stairs immediately somehow" and through this amazing acting alchemy it becomes gold. electric. magnificent. we can't get enough so we will just keep writing this loser character and the actor will somehow keep bringing the dazzling transmutation through his ability
actor will roland: [is aware autistic people are real]
#this is at least half humorous in several ways lmao but also like fr...#winston billions#will roland has pretty much said he is aware that autistic people real. and not [ppl's utterly off the walls assumptions abt what Defines#Autism or what an Autistic Person is like and how you would Know]#i don't think that Billions(tm) would be very much better at that than re: say; taylor's being nonbinary (surprisingly alright yet. u kno)#quant kid 2 could've been anyone but writing Winston is like so certainly the common deal of the inadvertently autistic character#drawing from all the autistic people allistic ppl encounter all thee time without being aware & deciding they're annoying / jerks / too#weird to live too pathetic to die / grating nerds / Funnily Odd in a way you deign to merely raise an eyebrow or scrunch your face at....#so on so forth. ''oh you know Those People we all know who are just Like That''#and deciding they must be ''just like that'' b/c they're either too arrogantly rude &/or clueless / Unaware to be neurotypically superior#also do not get me wrong lmao big old proponent of Did You Know That? Actors Act. Now You Know#so of course yes will's acting is off the shits i mean here i am am i right. and he is using it when he is acting.#the acting talent Is off the shits. the tiniest moments they give him & he CRUSHES KILLS it really is amazing i'm not waving it off at all#cue twitter randos so betrayed when kelly aucoin is not dollar bill & is like ''yes in my acting job i'm playing this fuckin asshole''#meanwhile i'm still following the interviewer who a) asked will anything abt billions b) talked abt the immediate striking intro of will's#as quant kid 2 And the immediate draw of / effervescent dynamic between winston & taylor. Someone Who Gets It#anyway it's like will can fathom that actually the people who are Always ''acting wrong'' w/their bad grating vibes no matter what they do#are not always Those People(tm) who We all know & loathe right....thee magic of knowing winston can be someone fully earnest#and of course always actually trying; & having perfectly comprehensible wants & needs. damn how's he doing that#bringing a certain je ne sais quoi to this Insufferable Loser Nerd material! so we don't mess with the process.#i.e. we will only ever let his role get dunked on forever b/c sure can't fathom anything else anyways. our Correct characters could never..#only tuk; adjacent in wrong nerd loserdom; can be his friend. rian who is correct but zany with it can be his abusive friend
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iâm so sorry but yâall be writing smut and saying âoooh he hit her cervix đ¤¤đ¤¤â like thatâs not incredibly painful and if you bruise your cervix you will experience horrible symptoms
#i see this particularly reading cod smut#i used to enjoy reading it but recently all i see is crazy crazy dark shit#and not to say i donât like the occasional dark fic that would be a lie#but itâs constant#and itâs so dark and doesnât at all relate to the characters#like yes people can write what they want but also be aware that you are perpetuating the norm that violent#rough and degrading sex is the norm usually without any kind of aftercare involved in these stories#idk itâs just something iâve noticed recently and it kind of pisses me off ngl#like a bruised cervix????? OUCH#bitch your cock touches my cervix you are OUT#also not all peepee's need ot be 11 inches thick and girthy#sorry for this rant i an so tired#signing iff#i miss smut that didnt involve degradation/violence/roughness#also this isnt me shaming bd/sm i swear#but a lot of yall obviously dont know much or anything about that community but just write it becayse its hot or popular or whatever#when what youre writing is acthally fucked up and borderline abusive vetween the chsracters#idk igbore ne#also i know i mentioned cod but this isnr just cod i swesr#dont hate me
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Bai Yue gives us Wulin Heroes in a nutshell
#Wulin Heroes#Li HongYi#Huang RiYing#Li Hong Yi#Huang Ri Ying#my crappy youtube screenshots#this is a low budget drama so if you come right from TBoY be aware#There will be weird editing and while TBoY spelled out everything for the viewer you will have to connect the dots here sometimes#because the writing or editing got wonky#character: Bai Yue#character: Ye Xi#And people are annoyed with the FL when she is a ginseng fairy newly turned human at the prologue#so obviously she has no clue of the human world and how two faced people can be also she loses her memories twice#and people withhold important information from her#like cut her some slack#she is strong as hell and will support the people she wants to support no matter what#Episode 17#aka the episode where Ye Xi tries to reverse vampire Bai Yue lmao#excuse my bad quality screenshots#Wulin Heroes screenshots
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I think it's also about the context and perspective.
RPs and D&D, etc., are explicitly all about self-inserts, or OCs which inherently carry pieces of yourself. So are most computer games, whenever you're not playing an established character. When you RP in the SWTOR fandom, 99% is ALL OCs, which might or might not be full self-inserts, and it's glorious and nobody minds and it's what people WANT.
Circumstances are different in other fandoms. Self-insert/Mary Sues are perfectly fine and you should write exactly what you want, because writing is always for yourself. But most often, people are interested in reading about the canon fandom characters. OCs serve just fine to fill needed story/plot gaps, but when the story focuses on the OC is when many readers look for something else (whether or not the OC is a self-insert).
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the driving force behind the "cringe" perspective. Self-inserts have always been fine for the writer. All the criticism is from the reader perspective. Not to say that it's justified - self inserts are really a different genre, so if you're looking for canon characters, you just don't go there. People are misattributing readership wants as valid criticism of writing and character development.
But fandom writers also need to understand that, as encouraging as people may be to you writing your OCs, your audience might be very small. That's just something you have to accept.
It's only when you break away from fandom that your OCs/self-inserts gain visibility as "real" and "valid" original characters. That's literally the only difference between "OC" and "real character." It's fandom vs non-fandom. Because, of course, all canon characters in every fandom ever are somebody's OC, and you will never know if that OC was a self-insert or not. Even your "Mary Sue" is more a product of fandom than an original story.
So perspective is key. Write what you want and enjoy it! Know that readers will read what they want, too, and those might be different things.
people are so weird about self insert ocs actually. like why wouldn't you want a made up little guy who's like you except cooler and they get to live all your fantasies? what are you afraid of? having fun? free yourself
#commentary#writing#i did my share of Mary sue critiquing back in the early days#I'm glad the awareness is shifting#but also you have to remember that nobody has to like or read the OCs you write#should that stop you? no!!!!#are you owed the validation of readers? also no#and if that's what you're looking for then it's important to keep in mind#that the validation you want might hinge on writing something other than OC-focused#i think when a lot of people call OCs 'cringe' they're REALLY saying that they wouldn't read it#and that's fair#but they don't HAVE to read it#meanwhile yes i think everyone does enjoy throwing elements of themselves into fandoms#which you can do and still not want to read someone else's lol
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Beyond Probability JJK (m.)
summary: Matching with an idol? Unlikely. But with a 99% compatibility? Beyond probability. pairing: idol!Jungkook x f!reader genre: idolvers, S2L, fluff, smut rating: 18+, MDNI! warnings: fluff, fluff, a bit of self doubt, fluff, fluff, explicit sexual content, shower sex, unprotected sex, pls lmk if I forgot smth word count: ~ 4k
a/n: Itâs a rly cute and short oneshot, light and mainly fluff, nothing too deep, no big words etc this time. Just had to get it out of my system since the ideaâs been on my mind for months now (unedited bc I fell ill halfway through writing it đ¤)
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! đ
Your biological clockâs tickingâhas been for some years nowâand even though youâre only now nearing 30, youâre painfully aware that the life you pictured as a kid might never come true.
Itâs not like youâre unstable in who you are or what youâre doing. Youâre fairly successful at your job, youâve got your own place, and youâre more social than most people these days. Still, youâre only what most would call average-looking, and even though youâve got a good career, youâre too soft to keep it up forever. You picture yourself more as a loving wife and mother than a corporate boss bitch climbing the ladder of success.
Thatâs also why your dating life has been rocky all along. Men see what you put out there, but they donât like who you really are or what you want from life, which has left you single for most of it.
So, when a new project startsâafter the K-pop industry finally acknowledges that idols need partnerships and a life of their own, and fans finally understand that these people are human too, that they deserve to experience love and happiness like everyone elseâyou decide to take your chances too.
Funnily enough, all the labels have teamed up, hiring not only the best scientists and psychologists from Korea but from around the world to create a program that can find ideal matches for their idols. Sure, science shouldnât determine who you fall in love with, but⌠what if it could?
After being pre-selectedâjust to confirm youâre not some crazed fanâyouâve spent over two weeks going through tests. Recorded interviews, personality assessments, even physical evaluations⌠now youâre staring at your companyâs computer screen, listening to Dr. Song explain the results through the phone.Â
âNinety-nine percent?â
âYes. The chances of such a high compatibility score are next to impossible. We see it as a perfect match and would like to introduce you to your match.â
âSure, of course.â Even though your voice is steady, you can feel your nerves flaring up like never before.
âIs tomorrow at 8 p.m. alright for you?â
âYes, that works for me.â
âPerfect, weâll see you then.â
Well, jokeâs on you, you didnât expect this outcome.Â
Meeting an idol feels surreal, and the closer you get to 8 p.m. the next day, the more you can feel the anxiety and doubts inside you rising. Every last detail in Dr. Songâs calm, clinical rundown replays in your mind, the ninety-nine percent match, the endless rounds of testing, the surreal realisation that, somehow, all those numbers and algorithms miraculously spat out a name next to yours.Â
You want to trust that thereâs a reason for this, that somehow science isnât just working with chance, but the tension of actually meeting someone this special is so overwhelming you barely notice yourself entering the lab building until youâre standing outside Dr. Songâs office.
âRight on time,â she chirps, giving you an approving nod. She seems to sense your nerves, and as she leads you down a hallway youâve never been before, she gives you a reassuring smile. âI know this is all a lot. But heâs likely feeling the same way. The tests told us that heâs, well, quite like you.â
Her words would make you laugh in any other situation, though disbelief and a strange kind of comfort floods through you still. Like you. An idol, standing here in a lab somewhere to meet some random stranger, feeling just as out of place as you. Youâre not sure of that but still like to think it must be true.Â
You donât have time to process it fully before youâre led into a quiet room with yellowish walls so plain they almost blur in the corners of your vision, a low, comfortable couch and a couple of chairs standing there and none of the lab equipment that surrounded you in the testing rooms all those weeks ago.Â
And then you spot him, sitting on the couch, alone. He stands the second you walk in, hands half in his pockets, a slight, almost unsure smile grazing his lips as he glances down at you. Heâs got that casual look about him, the same dark eyes youâve seen a hundred times on a screen that somehow feel warmer and more human here.Â
He looks not quite better than he does on screen, but not worse either. Somehow, heâs realer, if thatâs a wordâclose enough that you can see the little flecks of colour in his irises, the slight tension in his posture, the faintest trace of nerves hiding under his composure.
âHi.â Jungkookâs voice is lower, softer than you expect from an idol. âNice to meet you, Iâm Jungkook.â
âNice to meet you too. Iâm ___.â Thereâs a pause, and you can tell heâs just as unsure what to do with the space between you two as you are. The click of the door makes you turn around briefly, only to realise Dr. Song has left you both alone. âThis is, um, weird, right?â
He nods, a quick, breathy laugh breaking through. âVery. I mean, this isnât exactly a ânormalâ kind of meeting, right?â
His words are awkward but disarming, and suddenly, youâre aware of all the tiny, meticulous details of him that somehow make him feel more relatable than his polished, on-screen persona. The way his hand keeps moving to rub against his thigh or abs, his tongue playing with his lips and piercing ever so slightlyâeverything about him is familiar but also somehow close enough to feel completely new.
âI donât think I was ready for this,â you admit. You arenât really talking to him but more like letting your own thoughts slip out in the safest way possible, like saying it makes it feel less absurd.
âHonestly, same.â He laughs, and you think thereâs a light flutter in your chest now. âI kept thinking about this whole ninety-nine percent thing. Like⌠how does that even work? Isnât it supposed to feel, I donât know, obvious? Like you know the moment you see someone?â
You nod, understanding exactly what he means, and somehow you move on autopilot, walking towards him and sitting down on that couch with him beside you. It feels like you should both somehow know, like thereâs a sign or an instant connection, something that would make all of this feel simple, easy. But itâs just the two of you in a quiet room, barely knowing each other, held together by nothing but a number on a report.
âYeah, thatâs so wild. I didnât think Iâd have a match, this close to a hundred even less. Might be a glitch if our score is this high.â
Jungkook nods with sparkling eyes, seemingly relieved by your honesty and humour. âYeah, I get that. I kept thinking about it too. Wondering if maybe the tests were wrong, or maybe I was justâŚthinking too much.â He lets out a sigh, his gaze meeting yours for a long, meaningful second. âBut I think maybe this is about finding out, right? Not having it all make sense right away.â
âHm, makes sense.â You giggle, because what else can you do in the presence of him.
The two of you sit there in a momentary silence, as if testing each other, feeling out the small boundaries that keep you both distant.
âSo, what did the report tell you about me?â You ask the question half-jokingly, trying to break the quiet, but also curious. You want to know what he knows, how much of this supposed ninety-nine percent compatibility is actually something that either of you feel.Â
He lets out a silent breath, looking down as if slightly embarrassed. âHonestly, not as much as youâd think. They told me you were kind of⌠soft-spoken but resilient? And that you have a job thatâs, uh, stable andâŚâ He trails off, the tips of his ears slightly pink, like heâs embarrassed to keep going.
âAnd?â You canât help but push furtherânot maliciously, just way too curious and playful for your own good. Jungkookâs expression shifts from embarrassed to surprised, and then to a look thatâs just as playful.
âAnd that weâre, apparently, very much sexually compatible.â
Really, you should be the one feeling embarrassed or shy now, but you canât help the laugh that slips out. You know exactly what heâs hinting atâyour report clearly showed the same.
âWell, it might be not wrong. And they told meâŚâ You pause, realising that you barely remember the details in the face of the reality in front of you but alas. âThey said youâd be a good match because, I think, there was something about humour?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âHumour? Never heard of it.â And it makes you laugh all over again. âI feel like they just told us things weâd want to hear, to make it seem easier and normal.â
His words hit close to home, but theyâre strangely comforting in the way he says them. You reckon, heâs just as bewildered by this as you are, maybe even more so. And somehow, in the middle of all the awkwardness, you find yourself genuinely smiling at him, naturally gravitating towards him, finding that thereâs a softness and reassurance in his gaze, a gentleness that cuts through your nerves like a knife through melted butter in the sun.Â
You start talking more freely after that, exchanging stories that are too mundane to make sense in any real context but feel right here. You tell him about your last trip to the beach, how you got sunburned and spent the whole evening sitting on your balcony, nursing it with iced water and aloe, wishing for a helping hand that you didnât have. He laughs, nodding along as if he can picture it exactly and tells you about how he tried to make pasta he ate in Italy for the first time a few months back and ended up burning the whole batch, because no one was by his side, so badly his kitchen smelled like smoke for days.
The more you talk, the more you notice the little things about him that arenât so polished, arenât so perfect, and make him feel more human and real than anyone you ever met. He has a way of listening, eyes intent on yours, like heâs trying to pick apart every word to understand it better. When he laughs, itâs with his whole face, even body, not the careful, composed look of an idol but a natural, carefree laugh that makes you feel like maybe heâs as relieved as you are to be here, to have someone he doesnât have to impress.Â
At some point, you both lapse into a comfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts but somehow still connected. The tension from earlier has faded away, replaced by a soothing aura you know you donât want to miss for a day in your life.
Eventually, Jungkook glances over at you, his eyes sucking you in without much resistance. âI kept thinking this would feel forced, you know? Like weâd be sitting here, struggling to find anything in common.â He leans back, drapes his arm around the back of where youâre sitting, glancing up at the ceiling as if searching for the right words. âBut⌠it doesnât feel that way. You feel⌠I donât know, right?â
The slight flutter in your chest has now swelled into a full-blown hurricane, and youâre not sure if itâs that ninety-nine percent compatibility causing it. But you donât let yourself think too muchânot when youâve both been inching closer with each word, not when you take a chance and lean in, resting your head against his side. Especially not when his arm settles directly over your shoulder, pulling you a little closer, his other hand finding yours, fingers intertwining just to see how it feels.
âYeah, it feels right. I really like this.â
As you absently play with his fingers, breathing in his scent for the first time and deciding itâs like heaven, you let yourself trust science. Because this feels like exactly where youâre meant to be.
While the first meeting with Jungkook went better than youâd ever hoped, youâre painfully aware of your overthinking nature. Overthinking in a way that makes it painfully clear there are countless women out there who, on the surface, would seem a better visual match for him than you.
Overthinking to the point where you wonder why Jungkook would even need matchmaking when he could so easily choose a partner on his own. Itâs also why staying focused at work isnât exactly easy today, knowing that soon his label will be sending a car to pick you up for your next meeting with him.
You understand the precautions theyâve taken and completely agree itâs better to meet in a private, safe space rather than making headlines this early on. Thatâs why, as the tinted car arrives, you feel a bit more at ease than you have all day.
Soon enough, youâre driving down the path to the labelâs underground garage, and while you fix your makeup real quick, the car comes to a stop. The driver nods and guides you towards the lift, where the lights are dim and everything has this quiet, professional atmosphere youâve only seen on screen.
You try to take it all in, letting your thoughts settle just a bit more as you follow through to the hallways upstairs, past doors labelled with room numbers and studios, and then finally, youâre outside the door to Jungkookâs studio, right where youâre supposed to meet.
Your heart beats a little faster as you hear Jungkookâs familiar voice call out, âCome in,â and when you open the door, you find him leaning casually against the chair before his equipment with an easy smile that somehow manages to be both happy and slightly flirty.Â
Again, Jungkookâs dressed just like uniquely him, with a few silver rings glinting on his fingers. And while you didnât think heâd even get up to greet you, he steps forward and embraces you in hug so tight, it leaves you drowning in him.Â
âHey,â he greets with that disarming grin, eyes boring into you, taking in your formal work attire, as he gestures to the coffee set up besides his laptop. âHope you donât mind the casual vibe.â
You laugh a little, settling onto the free chair beside him, feeling a bit strange but somehow not. âI think itâs perfect. And to be honest, I donât think Iâd cope well with the whole five-star dining treatment and whatnot.â
He laughs, nodding in agreement, taking your purse from your hands and draping it casually over the back of his chair. The fact that heâs still so attentive, even though heâs clearly in his element here but completely relaxed, is rather fascinating and pulls you in even more.
Like the day before, talking with him comes easy, and while thereâs nothing groundbreaking in your conversations, every word feels meaningful in the bigger picture.
Eventually, you feel yourself relaxing like you were at home by your own, getting comfortable enough to let out the thoughts that have been swimming in your head since last night. âIâve thought a lot about how all of this could play out,â you admit, taking a sip of your coffee, trying to find the right words, though knowing there wonât be any wrong words when talking with Jungkook. âAnd honestly, Iâm not really interested in taking things public if they did work out. I know thatâs probably strange to say, but Iâm not cut out for the spotlight.â
He tilts his head, watching you thoughtfully. âNo, itâs not strange at all. I get it.â
A small smile tugs at your lips as you go on, âI just want something real. A partner whoâs loyal, someone whoâs there because we get each other, not because weâre some public âitâ couple, parading around every chance we get. Does that sound crazy?â
He shakes his head, while he swings from one side to the other. âNot at all. That actually sounds perfect to me.â Thereâs a sincerity in his tone that makes you feel, for the first time, like thereâs some truth to your report. âThe whole âidolâ thing is just a job. Itâs not who I am, not at the core. And having someone who sees it that way, is what I want too.â
It elates you to know that you could have something like this, with him, someone you could genuinely share your life with.
Then, in a thoughtful voice, he asks, âWhat do you want for the future? I mean, outside all of this.âÂ
You take a breath, feeling a little nervous but wanting to be honest. Itâs not like itâs news to him, seeing that this informationâs written in the report he was handed. âI want something traditional. A home, a family, maybe staying home with kids, having that steady, grounded life. It sounds simple, I know, but itâs what Iâve always pictured.â You look up at him, expecting maybe a hint of judgement, but instead, you find him nodding, his eyes lighting up like a candle in the night.
âI donât think that sounds simple at all, but meaningful.â
A shy smile forms on your lips as you add, âSometimes I feel like people donât see that side of things anymore, you know? Like everyoneâs so focused on careers and success and everything else⌠and I get that, I do, but Iâve always just wanted something steady. Something I can hold on to.â
His hand finds yours, his fingers like second nature intertwine with yours, and the gesture is so simple yet so heartwarming that you feel like squealing out of happiness. âThatâs exactly what I want too.â Itâs nothing new to you too, but him saying that, seeing the honesty in his eyes, is better than any data shown to you. âI want that sense of home.â
You feel yourself falling a little harder, a little faster, and maybe that scares you a bit. Youâve seen the kind of attention he gets, the kind of girls that throw themselves at him, and itâs hard not to let those doubts creep in. Especially now. âI know this probably sounds insecure,â you start awkwardly, glancing away, âI think, I donât know, maybe Iâm not the kind of person someone like you would go for. I mean, you could have anyone, and not just because youâre an idol.â
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb tracing soothing circles against your skin. And while his mouth opens to say something, the pull against your hand surprises you as much as him settling you in his lab. âHey, donât think like that. Iâm here because I want to be. And trust me, Iâm not looking for âanyoneâ. Iâm looking for someone who gets me. And that someone is you, no?â
The look in his eyes is so genuine, so unguarded, that itâs hard to keep your heart from doing all sorts of stunts. Heâs not the polished idol right now; heâs just Jungkook, being flirty, being compassionate, being so him, sitting in a cosy studio with his tattoos, his piercings, his moles, his beautiful smile, his whole presence more comfortable and inviting than you could have imagined.
And as he sits there, looking at you like youâre the only person in the world, you realise that you definitely donât have to doubt this. Maybe itâs okay to let yourself believe that heâs here because he wants to be, that heâs falling for you irrevocably just as youâre falling for him.Â
âSooo⌠that means?â You know you need to be brave now, because if this isnât a dream, youâd never forgive yourself for not taking the leap.
âThat means, if you want to, Iâd love to have you as my girlfriend.â
âIsnât it a bit rushed?â You donât actually think so, but you still need to be sure.
âIâm all in if you are. I donât want to waste any more time, and even though itâs just a report, I can feel thereâs real truth behind it.â
Fast forward seven months, and you find yourself pressed against the shower wall like you do every night. But this time, itâs differentâjust hours ago, you made your first public appearance on a music show with Jungkook, just because you both felt ready, where he was not only nominated for Best Singer of the Year but won as well.
âKoo, right there, right there.â
It still amazes you how his cock seems to find your g-spot as soon as he enters you, though you wouldnât want it any other way.
âYeah? Right there, hm? Or is itâŚâ he trails off, shifting his hips ever so slightly, making you realise heâs actually hit the centre point of your g-spot now, his hard, unrelenting thrusts pushing you over the edge without warning.
âOh my goooddd,â your eyes roll back, mouth hanging open against the cool shower wall, as your cunt keeps gripping him even though itâs already creaming around his cock.
âGood girl, keep going, love. Show me how many you can take tonight.â
Thereâs nothing you can do, not that youâd want to do anything other than let him rearrange your insides. Especially not when his tattooed hand finds its way from the back of your hair to your jaw, tilting your head to the side, giving you the perfect view of his upper bodyârivulets of water cascading down his chiselled form, lips parted, eyebrows furrowed.Â
Heâs the epitome of perfection. Not just a ninety-nine percent but a hundred.Â
His eyes, though hooded, bore into your soul as his hips pick up the pace. Itâs this connection you share with him make being with him feel so special.
âKooâŚâ
âI know, love, just a bit more. Can you be a good girl?â
âYes,â you moan, because hell, you can. âYes, for youâŚah, winning the trophy.â
Even though you shouldnât feel his cock twitch with the pace heâs set, you do, realising instantly what he needs tonight.
âBest singer, KooâŚfuckâŚbest boyfriend, only fucking me when, hmm, the whole world wants a piece of you.â
âOnly you. Always you, ___, love.â You think you catch him licking a drop of saliva from his lips as he stares down at where your bodies connect, sending another wave of arousal from your stretched-out hole.
âYouâre so big.â
âJust for you, fuck, squeeze a bit more.â
Itâs not that you did it on purpose, but when his hand shoots down to your clit, circling it just right, your body responds as though itâs never felt this good, soaking him even more and gripping him tight as a vice.
âLike that, love, like that.â Jungkook grunts and pants, holding you harder, tighter as his cock seems to swell even more, pumping frantically in sync with your impending second orgasm.
When Jungkook canât hold back any longer, itâs all you need to let go too, the rush flowing through your veins just as fiercely as the love you feel for this man.
After some time, Jungkook pulls out, helping you straighten up and lean against his chest under the stream. His veiny hands trail down your body, washing away his release dripping out of you, as he plants kisses along the side of your face.
When heâs had enough, he, like always, turns you, brushing the wet strands of hair from your face. And as you do the same to him, captivated by how content and in love he looks, you canât help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world when, for the first time, Jungkook declares his feelings.
âI love you, till the day I die, ___.â
âI love you too, and beyond.â
Because this, because having Jungkook calling you his, is beyond probability.
a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! đ If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a âď¸ Ko-fi.com/runariya đ
Like what you read? Check out my other work here!
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#fic: beyond probability#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts army#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#jungkook#idolverse#Jungkook idolverse#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff
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Do you think authors sometimes don't realize how their, uh, interests creep into their writing? I'm talking about stuff like Robert Jordan's obvious femdom kink, or Anne Rice's preoccupation with inc*st and p*dophilia. Did their editors ever gently ask them if they've ever actually read what they've written?
Firstly, a reminder: This is not tiktok and we just say the words incest and pedophilia here.
Secondly, I don't know if I would call them 'interests' so much as fixations or even concerns. There are monstrous things that people think about, and I think writing is a place to engage with those monstrous things. It doesn't bother me that people engage with those things. I exist somewhere within the whump scale, and I would hope no one would think less of me just because sooner or later I like to rough a good character up a bit, you know? It's fun to torture characters, as a treat!
But, anyway, assuming this question isn't, "Do writers know they're gross when I think they are gross" which I'm going to take the kind road and assume it isn't, but is instead, "Do you think authors are aware of the things they constantly come back to?"
Sometimes. It can be jarring to read your own writing and realize that there are things you CLEARLY are preoccupied with. (mm, I like that word more than concerns). There are things you think about over and over, your run your mind over them and they keep working their way back in. I think this is true of most authors, when you read enough of them. Where you almost want to ask, "So...what's up with that?" or sometimes I read enough of someone's work that I have a PRETTY good idea what's up with that.
I've never read Robert Jordan and I don't intend to start (I think it would bore me this is not a moral stance) and I've really never read Rice's erotica. In erotica especially I think you have all the right in the world to get fucking weird about it! But so, when I was young I read the whole Vampire Chronicles series. I don't remember it perfectly, but there's plenty in it to reveal VERY plainly that Anne Rice has issues with God but deeply believes in God, and Anne Rice has a preoccupation with the idea of what should stay dead, and what it means to become. So, when i found out her daughter died at the age of six, before Rice wrote all of this, and she grew up very very Catholic' I said, 'yeah, that fucking checks out'.
Was Rice herself aware of how those things formed her writing? I think at a certain point probably yes. The character of Claudia is in every way too on the nose for her not to have SOME idea unless she was REAL REAL dense about her own inner workings. But, sometimes I know where something I write about comes from, that doesn't mean I'm interested in sharing it with the class. I would never ever fucking say, 'The reasons I seem to write so much of x as y is that z happened to me years ago' ahaha FUCK THAT NOISE. NYET. RIDE ON, COWBOY.
But I've known some people in fandom works who clearly have something going on and don't seem to realize it. Or they're very good at hiding it. Based on the people I'm talking about I would say it's more a lack of self-knowledge, and I don't even mean that unkindly. I have, in many ways, taken myself down to the studs and rebuilt it all, so I unfortunately am very aware of why I do and write the things I do most of the time. It's extremely annoying not to be able to blame something. I imagine it must be very freeing. But it ain't me, babe.
Anyway, a lot of words to say: Maybe! But that might not stop them from writing it, it might be a useful thing for them to engage with, and you can always just not read it.
Also, we don't censor words here.
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autism awareness & autism acceptance not either or. not mutually exclusive. can coexist. need coexist.
âthere enough awareness for autism already đ we need acceptanceâ
ok. you aware of high support needs autism? aware what that even means? not âneed reminder take meds need remind take showerâ âhighâ support needs autism, but âneed full physical help do bADLs lack danger awareness may accidentally hurt self or even kill self without supportâ high support needs autism? not just higher support needs people who can be independently online do advocacy, but those who need help from others even be online, or those who cannot be online at. all.?
aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people? not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can write grammatically correct cannot tell apart base on writing. not just nonverbal nonspeaking people who can be online who can advocate online.
aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who cannot communicate in way that easily understood, either for now, or ever? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people without functional communication, aware of how without functional communication, how that drastically limit communication, even though behaviors are valid communication? aware of nonverbal nonspeaking people who may never use AAC fluently even with best support?
aware of technically verbal but very limited verbal autistics who may only able say wants & needs but not other things and certainly not online advocacy, âdespite being verbalâ?
aware of just how much our life depends on caregiver/carer/PCA/etc? aware how vulnerable that make us? aware of abuse from caregivers? aware of caregiver burnout from lack of support for caregivers, & how that impact our care we receive? have you even heard of term respite care? aware of those of us who cannot separate ourselves from caregiver? aware of those of us who cannot participate in autism community without caregiver?
aware of visibly autistic people? aware how we not automatically believed? aware how we often bear blunt of violence because we most easily identified target because we visible? aware visible =/= get support, aware that many those diagnosed severe who now adult so no longer qualify for services under 21 year old, languish in hospitals because nowhere to go? aware how long life saving necessary waitlists are? aware that even to this day parents have to fight school fight day service fight government fight insurance for them give their nonverbal nonspeaking child AAC & be properly taught how use it? actually, are you aware of how properly teach AAC to nonverbal nonspeaking, developmentally delayed child who may or may not have intellectual disability?
actually, aware of autistics with (correctly diagnosed) intellectual disability & how they make up big amount of autistic? aware of institutional systemic & legal impact of mental [r word] right & the human rights abuse justified using r word right? wait, you aware that r word come from old term for intellectual disability, that, actually, still in many laws because no one bothered updating, right? aware of what severe profound ID look like? and aware they real and they still human deserve education deserve life deserve care, yes?
aware of early diagnosis 20 30 or even 10 years ago, not same as now, even less resources & knowledge about autism now? aware that while gender race class 1000% impacted diagnoses, a lot of early diagnosed people early diagnosed because⌠they die without support unlocked by diagnosis, right? but also, aware that in old times, early diagnosis often did mean doom, not because autism bad or anything, but because severe lack of support & diagnosis can literally bar you from so many things including basic education?
aware that for many people in special education, which impact specific group of autistic people, they not get degree when graduate high school, they just get certificate, which limit their educational & employment opportunities & others?
aware of life saving importance and necessity of masking for autistic of color especially Black autistic people, despite stress inducing traumatic? aware that live in broken system be victim of hate crime & police brutality just as traumatic often even more traumatic than masking? aware that many Black & other parents of color forced to teach their child masking because of this?
are you aware of most marginalized autistic people? aware of leadership of most impacted?
aware you can and need to care about autistic experiences & form of autism you not experience? aware that you can and need to do that without try twist your experience into our experience into our words our community?
aware that advocacy goes beyond about you?
aware that you canât speak for all autistic? aware that you shouldnât speak for all autistic?
are you aware of when you need to stop talking & listen & amplify others? aware of when and how to decenter self?
aware that even this long post, barely scratch surface? still so much to say?
[better worded version of original post]
#loaf screm#actually autistic#autism acceptence month#autism awareness#autism awareness month#high support needs#long post#nonverbal#nonspeaking#autism#autistic#autism acceptance
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pda/general affection hcs | i.
ft. hobie brown & miles morales
request?: yes
request: âHiiii!!! I am absolutely IN LOVE with ur the clash series and I can't wait to see how it progresses!!! Could u do some pda/general affection hcs for the spider verse characters? I would love to see Miles and Hobie hcs but it's rlly up to whatever characters u would wanna write for. Endless thanks!!â
warnings: Â language, cuteness, mentions of dying, mentions of injuries, mentions of throwing up, mentions of being overwhelmed
a/n: i love hcs lol this was actually how i first starting writing and itâs so fun bc i can be my sarcastic self without having to change any of it teehee, thank you for requesting anon! thinking of doing this for other characters to, what does everyone think?
iâve made a pt ii. to this with gwen and pavitr if you wanna check it out!
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
hobie brown | spider-punk
pda
- heâs kind of a middle ground - not crazy about it - not against it at all - he just - hold onto your hats for this one - â¨he does what he wants⨠- ofc it also depends whoâs company youâre in - if yâall are with Miles, Gwen, and Pavitr, heâs super comfortable and a part - of his body will always be touching yours - but itâs not like heâs goin out of his way to be like LOOK AT MY PARTNER - HOWEVER - if heâs ANYWHERE where there are authority figures? - *cough* miguel *cough* - he will just start to make out with you - LMAO - âHobie, can you stop kissing your partner and listen to me.â  âNo.â  âYouâre aware of how rude youâre being?â  âGood.â - if you donât like it ofc he wonât but he WILL be touchier with you in those moments - because it pisses people off - and he loves that - also if he felt threatened? - heâd probably get a little touchier than usual - but honestly he almost never feels threatened so who knows if youâd ever experience that - and if he did ever feel threatened he would feel better knowing that you always wear one of his studded bracelets - ppl will ask where you got it and youâll be all - âOh! My boyfriend Hobie!â - he loves seeing the hope drain out of anyoneâs eyes when he appears behind you after that statement, he finds it so amusing every time - heâs only obsessed with a few things - like there is something he will ALWAYS do - he is OBSESSED and i mean OBSESSSSSEEDDD with having his hand in your back pocket - at all times - only if it isnât around your shoulders (another obsession of his) - like yâall are going to one of his shows? - you enter with his hand in your back pocket - after gets offstage? - hand in back pocket - walking home? - hand in back pocket - sometimes yâall will walk instead of him picking you up and webbing back home JUST BECAUSE he wants to put his hand in your back pocket - he also LOVES using you as an armrest - if youâre short, he places his arm on your head like an armrest - if youâre average height, heâs still using your head as an armrest - if youâre tall or as tall as him he will climb a wall to use your head as an armrest - it gets you flustered and he thinks itâs adorable! - and eye contact? - he will keep his eyes trained on you at all times - heâs always looking at you - or else heâs looking for you - only looks away SOMETIMES when heâs talking to other people - âHobie, Iâm over here.â  âYeah, I know.â  âSo stop looking at them, Iâm the one talking to you.â  âYeah, but you ainât the fittest person in the room so piss off, eh?â - that being said - there is something he just doesnât do in public - he doesnât hold hands - i do feel like he would hold pinkies with you upon request - but holding hands just isnât his thing - in publicđ
general affection
-Â THIS MAN HAS THE WORLD FOOLED -Â he acts all nonchalant about it -Â acts like he only does pda to go against societal rules -Â which he does BUT ALSO -Â he is so touchy -Â he isnât clingy by any regard -Â but he LOVES being affectionate -Â just like the smallest things -Â every morning when yâall wake up in the same bed together and he wakes up before you (which is a lot bc he doesnât sleep well) he will place a feather-light kiss somewhere on your face so he doesnât wake you up -Â but like clockwork -Â he will do it -Â and after he will just lay there and hold you for a bit -Â even when during the night the two of you separate from each other he will always reach out for you during those times -Â and he will maneuver you back into his arms so he can just lay there with you for a bit -Â every time you ask him why he just tells you you make him a âbloody softieâ -Â which yeah you do -Â but also -Â he gets scared when he comes home, you wonât be there -Â with his job that isnât really a job and all, he gets so nervous that youâll just be fed up with it and leave -Â or worse, youâll be used as bait for him -Â bait which he would immediately take, of course -Â he even does it because he thinks about the possibility of him not coming home one day -Â and he wants you to feel like you were loved if that happens -Â he also just loves the little smile that comes to your face every morning -Â when you realize heâs done it again -Â and that is just ONE THING -Â he hates getting injured, but would lie if he said he hated getting patched up by you -Â when youâre cleaning his wounds with alcohol the two of you hold hands -Â heâll squeeze when it stings and youâll squeeze when you feel bad -Â so youâre kinda squeezing his hand the whole time -Â but you know how i said he doesnât hold hands in public? -Â at home itâs a different story -Â watching tv? -Â hands are held -Â looking at the stars from the top of a building? -Â hands are held -Â throwing up after drinking too much? -Â hands are held -Â so is hair -Â and he rubs your back -Â you rub his -Â he adores back scratches (not when heâs throwing up just in general LMAO) -Â one thing he didnât realize he loved so much until it happened was when he was sitting and playing his guitar on yâalls bed -Â just mindlessly finger picking some melodies -Â and you came up and sat behind him and put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around his waist and kissed his cheek and just -Â stayed there -Â it made him melt -Â he loves it so much -Â he especially loves it when you hum along -Â even if you canât hold a tune -Â itâs the most beautiful thing heâs ever heard he doesnât care -Â you can expect him to be all over you the minute he gets back from being Spider-Punk -Â especially when he has a bad day -Â i could probably give more examples but this is already kinda long lmao oops
overall
- he LOVES affection - public and private - if he loves you, heâs gonna show it - heâs gonna scream it, literally and figuratively - everyone will know yâall are together - which he loves - but thatâs not why he does it - he just loves you - and doesnât care what other ppl think đ¤
miles morales | spider-man
pda
- omg this lil man is so awkward - iâm far older than him and he makes me think of how nervous and awkward i was at his age when it came to any type of romance - so i can see him being SO unintentionally awkward in public - he tries so hard to be cool - but omg - the tiniest thing will go wrong and heâll go from đ to đ - everything is the end of the world until you assure him it isnât - like the time he saw you outside around Brooklyn Visions Academy and thought itâd be so cute to go up behind you and cover your eyes and say âguess who :)â - except it wasnât you - you were across the street and watched it all go down - he literally made eye contact with you the minute he tried to be cute - the HORROR on his face - he was immediately apologizing to the random person he just did that to - in the moment you were so confused - but when you and him were in his dorm and he was flailing his arms around -and yelling in lowercase explaining it? - oh my god - hilarious - he was all pouty when you started laughing so you had to attack his face with little kisses to make him cheer up - one would have done the trick but he was grateful for all of the ones you gave him regardless - or the time he went to wrap his arm around your waist during lunch because he wanted to be all cute in school and you turned around as soon as he put his arm out and tried to walk and his sturdiness and strength made you literally drop your lunch tray and the food went everywhere - and there you were again in his dorm as he was flailing his arms around and yelling in lowercase apologizing because you just got new shoes and he ruined it andâ - shut him up with a kiss, would you? - a display of public affection that always happens though is youâre always in his jacket - to the point where he has two of the same jacket now so you guys can be twinning :,) - âLook, babe! Same jacket!â  âOh my god wait! Weâre gonna be so cute!â  âI know, right? Pretty smart and cute of me, huh?â  âVery smart and cute of you, Miles.â - he also loves to have his hand on top of yours whenever he can - heâll do it in class - if yâall go out to eat - if heâs sketching and youâre next to him - and holding hands in public is a favorite of his - itâs very tiny things that he does because every time he tries something big something goes wrong - like opening a door for you and motioning you to go in before him - and always being ready to steady you if you would trip (which happens more than he thought it would) - and always fixing your necklace that he bought you for your birthday (with the help of Rio) when the little clasp comes down in the front - heâs constantly staring at you with a dopey grin on his face - literally will get called out in class because heâs just đđđ - and then he gets all flustered - but the smile you get on your face letting him know you like him that much will relax him - will go from âIâm sorry I didnât mean to draw attention to you!â to âyeah, you like that? imma do it more then.â - heâll also pretend to drum on you with his pencils when youâre near him - especially if he has his headphones in - he likes to play this game where you guess which one of his songs heâs jamming out to - sometimes he says you got it right when you get it wrong just to see you get excited - and he doesnât necessarily mean for this to be a public display of affection, - but his constant drawing of you is frequently watched by other classmates - the only person who has successfully seen his bold moves of affection is Ganke, and he pretends to gag every time lol
general affection
- heâs such an affectionate boy 𼚠- like i said, Ganke is the only one who successfully sees his physical affection plots work - heâs much smoother when people arenât around - and yes, he has shown you the shoulder touch - you did it to him once and he short-circuited - iâm so serious he accidentally shocked you - but then he hugged and kissed you for like 40 minutes afterward cause he felt bad - so it wasnât too bad of an experience - but when it comes to physical affection in private, heâs worlds better at it - any time he plays video games, whether that be with you or Ganke, he has his leg over top of yours - He loves watching movies with you where you lay your head on his lap and he just mindlessly draws little shapes on your shoulder - he also loves having you laying on top of him while yâall cuddle - it makes him feel safe (and he gets to steal soooo many kisses from you) - youâre kinda like his very own weighted blanket but not even because his spider strength makes you feel like a feather - but itâs also an easy way for him to keep a hold of you and feel like heâs protecting you - he also loves to take you web swinging - holding you super close and taking you to a tall building away from anyone who can see yâall - he loves that - sometimes heâll have like a whole picnic type date set up and yâall will just have a cute lil date on the top of the one world trade center - he also loves having you over to his place - his parents love you - and you love them - they make him keep his door cracked when yâall are in there together but itâs mainly because they love to peek in and see their son so in love - Jefferson took like 74 pictures the first time he saw yâall napping together - And Rio took like 52 pictures when she caught the two of you on the roof of the building and he was playing you a playlist he made for you - he does that a lot but that was the first time Rio saw it - she was ecstatic lol - he occasionally will just poke you for no reason - and by occasionally i mean he does it constantly - âMiles? Why did you do that?â  âDo what?â  âI literally saw you poke me.â  âNo, I didnâtâ  ââŚâ  ââŚâ  âI did, youâre just so cute, I donât know.â - he also loves drawing on your hand - the back of your hand has constant Miles doodles - sometimes itâs stuff like the two of your initals in a heart - sometimes itâs Spider-Man - sometimes itâs just whatever was on his mind - but you love your constant Miles hand drawings - and he feels like itâs some sort of way for other people to know youâre his - but when he does it itâs so cute - cause heâs so gentle - and no one is watching - but youâre sitting there and just smiling as he creates a work of art on your hand and the playlist he made full of songs that remind him of how you made him feel the first time he saw you is softly playing in the background - he calls them temporary tattoos and one day youâre going to actually get one of the doodles tattooed on you somewhere - heâll probably have a heart attack from how much he loves it but hey thatâs fine heâll recover - speaking of he loves to draw with you - he doesnât care about your skill level, he just loves to be creative with you - he also is very much all about making sure youâre eating - getting enough sleep - prioritizing yourself above everything else - and if anything is ever bothering you - he is There - he will always be there and itâs very comforting - he just wants you to be happy all the time and does his best to do so - and you feel the same - so any time the responsibility of Spider-Man is too much for him - or when his parents get on him because heâs hiding half of who he is - youâre there for him - often times after he comes home from a long day of Spider-Manning heâs the one who is being held, but youâre fine with that - cause he can be vulnerable with you and he needs it
overall
-Â Miles is getting the hang of being in a relationship -Â he really does love pda but is so bad at it lmao -Â when he gets better beware -Â you will be a melting mess in public all the time -Â but for right now itâs just behind the scenes where heâs able to show how he really feels -Â give him all the hugs he needs âem
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