#like yes people can write what they want but also be aware that you are perpetuating the norm that violent
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Beyond Probability JJK (m.)
summary: Matching with an idol? Unlikely. But with a 99% compatibility? Beyond probability. pairing: idol!Jungkook x f!reader genre: idolvers, S2L, fluff, smut rating: 18+, MDNI! warnings: fluff, fluff, a bit of self doubt, fluff, fluff, explicit sexual content, shower sex, unprotected sex, pls lmk if I forgot smth word count: ~ 4k
a/n: Itâs a rly cute and short oneshot, light and mainly fluff, nothing too deep, no big words etc this time. Just had to get it out of my system since the ideaâs been on my mind for months now (unedited bc I fell ill halfway through writing it đ¤)
a/n 2: This work is purely fictional. All characters and events are entirely imaginary and do not reflect reality. No translations are allowed without permission. Thank you for understanding! đ
Your biological clockâs tickingâhas been for some years nowâand even though youâre only now nearing 30, youâre painfully aware that the life you pictured as a kid might never come true.
Itâs not like youâre unstable in who you are or what youâre doing. Youâre fairly successful at your job, youâve got your own place, and youâre more social than most people these days. Still, youâre only what most would call average-looking, and even though youâve got a good career, youâre too soft to keep it up forever. You picture yourself more as a loving wife and mother than a corporate boss bitch climbing the ladder of success.
Thatâs also why your dating life has been rocky all along. Men see what you put out there, but they donât like who you really are or what you want from life, which has left you single for most of it.
So, when a new project startsâafter the K-pop industry finally acknowledges that idols need partnerships and a life of their own, and fans finally understand that these people are human too, that they deserve to experience love and happiness like everyone elseâyou decide to take your chances too.
Funnily enough, all the labels have teamed up, hiring not only the best scientists and psychologists from Korea but from around the world to create a program that can find ideal matches for their idols. Sure, science shouldnât determine who you fall in love with, but⌠what if it could?
After being pre-selectedâjust to confirm youâre not some crazed fanâyouâve spent over two weeks going through tests. Recorded interviews, personality assessments, even physical evaluations⌠now youâre staring at your companyâs computer screen, listening to Dr. Song explain the results through the phone.Â
âNinety-nine percent?â
âYes. The chances of such a high compatibility score are next to impossible. We see it as a perfect match and would like to introduce you to your match.â
âSure, of course.â Even though your voice is steady, you can feel your nerves flaring up like never before.
âIs tomorrow at 8 p.m. alright for you?â
âYes, that works for me.â
âPerfect, weâll see you then.â
Well, jokeâs on you, you didnât expect this outcome.Â
Meeting an idol feels surreal, and the closer you get to 8 p.m. the next day, the more you can feel the anxiety and doubts inside you rising. Every last detail in Dr. Songâs calm, clinical rundown replays in your mind, the ninety-nine percent match, the endless rounds of testing, the surreal realisation that, somehow, all those numbers and algorithms miraculously spat out a name next to yours.Â
You want to trust that thereâs a reason for this, that somehow science isnât just working with chance, but the tension of actually meeting someone this special is so overwhelming you barely notice yourself entering the lab building until youâre standing outside Dr. Songâs office.
âRight on time,â she chirps, giving you an approving nod. She seems to sense your nerves, and as she leads you down a hallway youâve never been before, she gives you a reassuring smile. âI know this is all a lot. But heâs likely feeling the same way. The tests told us that heâs, well, quite like you.â
Her words would make you laugh in any other situation, though disbelief and a strange kind of comfort floods through you still. Like you. An idol, standing here in a lab somewhere to meet some random stranger, feeling just as out of place as you. Youâre not sure of that but still like to think it must be true.Â
You donât have time to process it fully before youâre led into a quiet room with yellowish walls so plain they almost blur in the corners of your vision, a low, comfortable couch and a couple of chairs standing there and none of the lab equipment that surrounded you in the testing rooms all those weeks ago.Â
And then you spot him, sitting on the couch, alone. He stands the second you walk in, hands half in his pockets, a slight, almost unsure smile grazing his lips as he glances down at you. Heâs got that casual look about him, the same dark eyes youâve seen a hundred times on a screen that somehow feel warmer and more human here.Â
He looks not quite better than he does on screen, but not worse either. Somehow, heâs realer, if thatâs a wordâclose enough that you can see the little flecks of colour in his irises, the slight tension in his posture, the faintest trace of nerves hiding under his composure.
âHi.â Jungkookâs voice is lower, softer than you expect from an idol. âNice to meet you, Iâm Jungkook.â
âNice to meet you too. Iâm ___.â Thereâs a pause, and you can tell heâs just as unsure what to do with the space between you two as you are. The click of the door makes you turn around briefly, only to realise Dr. Song has left you both alone. âThis is, um, weird, right?â
He nods, a quick, breathy laugh breaking through. âVery. I mean, this isnât exactly a ânormalâ kind of meeting, right?â
His words are awkward but disarming, and suddenly, youâre aware of all the tiny, meticulous details of him that somehow make him feel more relatable than his polished, on-screen persona. The way his hand keeps moving to rub against his thigh or abs, his tongue playing with his lips and piercing ever so slightlyâeverything about him is familiar but also somehow close enough to feel completely new.
âI donât think I was ready for this,â you admit. You arenât really talking to him but more like letting your own thoughts slip out in the safest way possible, like saying it makes it feel less absurd.
âHonestly, same.â He laughs, and you think thereâs a light flutter in your chest now. âI kept thinking about this whole ninety-nine percent thing. Like⌠how does that even work? Isnât it supposed to feel, I donât know, obvious? Like you know the moment you see someone?â
You nod, understanding exactly what he means, and somehow you move on autopilot, walking towards him and sitting down on that couch with him beside you. It feels like you should both somehow know, like thereâs a sign or an instant connection, something that would make all of this feel simple, easy. But itâs just the two of you in a quiet room, barely knowing each other, held together by nothing but a number on a report.
âYeah, thatâs so wild. I didnât think Iâd have a match, this close to a hundred even less. Might be a glitch if our score is this high.â
Jungkook nods with sparkling eyes, seemingly relieved by your honesty and humour. âYeah, I get that. I kept thinking about it too. Wondering if maybe the tests were wrong, or maybe I was justâŚthinking too much.â He lets out a sigh, his gaze meeting yours for a long, meaningful second. âBut I think maybe this is about finding out, right? Not having it all make sense right away.â
âHm, makes sense.â You giggle, because what else can you do in the presence of him.
The two of you sit there in a momentary silence, as if testing each other, feeling out the small boundaries that keep you both distant.
âSo, what did the report tell you about me?â You ask the question half-jokingly, trying to break the quiet, but also curious. You want to know what he knows, how much of this supposed ninety-nine percent compatibility is actually something that either of you feel.Â
He lets out a silent breath, looking down as if slightly embarrassed. âHonestly, not as much as youâd think. They told me you were kind of⌠soft-spoken but resilient? And that you have a job thatâs, uh, stable andâŚâ He trails off, the tips of his ears slightly pink, like heâs embarrassed to keep going.
âAnd?â You canât help but push furtherânot maliciously, just way too curious and playful for your own good. Jungkookâs expression shifts from embarrassed to surprised, and then to a look thatâs just as playful.
âAnd that weâre, apparently, very much sexually compatible.â
Really, you should be the one feeling embarrassed or shy now, but you canât help the laugh that slips out. You know exactly what heâs hinting atâyour report clearly showed the same.
âWell, it might be not wrong. And they told meâŚâ You pause, realising that you barely remember the details in the face of the reality in front of you but alas. âThey said youâd be a good match because, I think, there was something about humour?â
He chuckles, shaking his head. âHumour? Never heard of it.â And it makes you laugh all over again. âI feel like they just told us things weâd want to hear, to make it seem easier and normal.â
His words hit close to home, but theyâre strangely comforting in the way he says them. You reckon, heâs just as bewildered by this as you are, maybe even more so. And somehow, in the middle of all the awkwardness, you find yourself genuinely smiling at him, naturally gravitating towards him, finding that thereâs a softness and reassurance in his gaze, a gentleness that cuts through your nerves like a knife through melted butter in the sun.Â
You start talking more freely after that, exchanging stories that are too mundane to make sense in any real context but feel right here. You tell him about your last trip to the beach, how you got sunburned and spent the whole evening sitting on your balcony, nursing it with iced water and aloe, wishing for a helping hand that you didnât have. He laughs, nodding along as if he can picture it exactly and tells you about how he tried to make pasta he ate in Italy for the first time a few months back and ended up burning the whole batch, because no one was by his side, so badly his kitchen smelled like smoke for days.
The more you talk, the more you notice the little things about him that arenât so polished, arenât so perfect, and make him feel more human and real than anyone you ever met. He has a way of listening, eyes intent on yours, like heâs trying to pick apart every word to understand it better. When he laughs, itâs with his whole face, even body, not the careful, composed look of an idol but a natural, carefree laugh that makes you feel like maybe heâs as relieved as you are to be here, to have someone he doesnât have to impress.Â
At some point, you both lapse into a comfortable silence, each lost in your own thoughts but somehow still connected. The tension from earlier has faded away, replaced by a soothing aura you know you donât want to miss for a day in your life.
Eventually, Jungkook glances over at you, his eyes sucking you in without much resistance. âI kept thinking this would feel forced, you know? Like weâd be sitting here, struggling to find anything in common.â He leans back, drapes his arm around the back of where youâre sitting, glancing up at the ceiling as if searching for the right words. âBut⌠it doesnât feel that way. You feel⌠I donât know, right?â
The slight flutter in your chest has now swelled into a full-blown hurricane, and youâre not sure if itâs that ninety-nine percent compatibility causing it. But you donât let yourself think too muchânot when youâve both been inching closer with each word, not when you take a chance and lean in, resting your head against his side. Especially not when his arm settles directly over your shoulder, pulling you a little closer, his other hand finding yours, fingers intertwining just to see how it feels.
âYeah, it feels right. I really like this.â
As you absently play with his fingers, breathing in his scent for the first time and deciding itâs like heaven, you let yourself trust science. Because this feels like exactly where youâre meant to be.
While the first meeting with Jungkook went better than youâd ever hoped, youâre painfully aware of your overthinking nature. Overthinking in a way that makes it painfully clear there are countless women out there who, on the surface, would seem a better visual match for him than you.
Overthinking to the point where you wonder why Jungkook would even need matchmaking when he could so easily choose a partner on his own. Itâs also why staying focused at work isnât exactly easy today, knowing that soon his label will be sending a car to pick you up for your next meeting with him.
You understand the precautions theyâve taken and completely agree itâs better to meet in a private, safe space rather than making headlines this early on. Thatâs why, as the tinted car arrives, you feel a bit more at ease than you have all day.
Soon enough, youâre driving down the path to the labelâs underground garage, and while you fix your makeup real quick, the car comes to a stop. The driver nods and guides you towards the lift, where the lights are dim and everything has this quiet, professional atmosphere youâve only seen on screen.
You try to take it all in, letting your thoughts settle just a bit more as you follow through to the hallways upstairs, past doors labelled with room numbers and studios, and then finally, youâre outside the door to Jungkookâs studio, right where youâre supposed to meet.
Your heart beats a little faster as you hear Jungkookâs familiar voice call out, âCome in,â and when you open the door, you find him leaning casually against the chair before his equipment with an easy smile that somehow manages to be both happy and slightly flirty.Â
Again, Jungkookâs dressed just like uniquely him, with a few silver rings glinting on his fingers. And while you didnât think heâd even get up to greet you, he steps forward and embraces you in hug so tight, it leaves you drowning in him.Â
âHey,â he greets with that disarming grin, eyes boring into you, taking in your formal work attire, as he gestures to the coffee set up besides his laptop. âHope you donât mind the casual vibe.â
You laugh a little, settling onto the free chair beside him, feeling a bit strange but somehow not. âI think itâs perfect. And to be honest, I donât think Iâd cope well with the whole five-star dining treatment and whatnot.â
He laughs, nodding in agreement, taking your purse from your hands and draping it casually over the back of his chair. The fact that heâs still so attentive, even though heâs clearly in his element here but completely relaxed, is rather fascinating and pulls you in even more.
Like the day before, talking with him comes easy, and while thereâs nothing groundbreaking in your conversations, every word feels meaningful in the bigger picture.
Eventually, you feel yourself relaxing like you were at home by your own, getting comfortable enough to let out the thoughts that have been swimming in your head since last night. âIâve thought a lot about how all of this could play out,â you admit, taking a sip of your coffee, trying to find the right words, though knowing there wonât be any wrong words when talking with Jungkook. âAnd honestly, Iâm not really interested in taking things public if they did work out. I know thatâs probably strange to say, but Iâm not cut out for the spotlight.â
He tilts his head, watching you thoughtfully. âNo, itâs not strange at all. I get it.â
A small smile tugs at your lips as you go on, âI just want something real. A partner whoâs loyal, someone whoâs there because we get each other, not because weâre some public âitâ couple, parading around every chance we get. Does that sound crazy?â
He shakes his head, while he swings from one side to the other. âNot at all. That actually sounds perfect to me.â Thereâs a sincerity in his tone that makes you feel, for the first time, like thereâs some truth to your report. âThe whole âidolâ thing is just a job. Itâs not who I am, not at the core. And having someone who sees it that way, is what I want too.â
It elates you to know that you could have something like this, with him, someone you could genuinely share your life with.
Then, in a thoughtful voice, he asks, âWhat do you want for the future? I mean, outside all of this.âÂ
You take a breath, feeling a little nervous but wanting to be honest. Itâs not like itâs news to him, seeing that this informationâs written in the report he was handed. âI want something traditional. A home, a family, maybe staying home with kids, having that steady, grounded life. It sounds simple, I know, but itâs what Iâve always pictured.â You look up at him, expecting maybe a hint of judgement, but instead, you find him nodding, his eyes lighting up like a candle in the night.
âI donât think that sounds simple at all, but meaningful.â
A shy smile forms on your lips as you add, âSometimes I feel like people donât see that side of things anymore, you know? Like everyoneâs so focused on careers and success and everything else⌠and I get that, I do, but Iâve always just wanted something steady. Something I can hold on to.â
His hand finds yours, his fingers like second nature intertwine with yours, and the gesture is so simple yet so heartwarming that you feel like squealing out of happiness. âThatâs exactly what I want too.â Itâs nothing new to you too, but him saying that, seeing the honesty in his eyes, is better than any data shown to you. âI want that sense of home.â
You feel yourself falling a little harder, a little faster, and maybe that scares you a bit. Youâve seen the kind of attention he gets, the kind of girls that throw themselves at him, and itâs hard not to let those doubts creep in. Especially now. âI know this probably sounds insecure,â you start awkwardly, glancing away, âI think, I donât know, maybe Iâm not the kind of person someone like you would go for. I mean, you could have anyone, and not just because youâre an idol.â
He gives your hand a gentle squeeze, his thumb tracing soothing circles against your skin. And while his mouth opens to say something, the pull against your hand surprises you as much as him settling you in his lab. âHey, donât think like that. Iâm here because I want to be. And trust me, Iâm not looking for âanyoneâ. Iâm looking for someone who gets me. And that someone is you, no?â
The look in his eyes is so genuine, so unguarded, that itâs hard to keep your heart from doing all sorts of stunts. Heâs not the polished idol right now; heâs just Jungkook, being flirty, being compassionate, being so him, sitting in a cosy studio with his tattoos, his piercings, his moles, his beautiful smile, his whole presence more comfortable and inviting than you could have imagined.
And as he sits there, looking at you like youâre the only person in the world, you realise that you definitely donât have to doubt this. Maybe itâs okay to let yourself believe that heâs here because he wants to be, that heâs falling for you irrevocably just as youâre falling for him.Â
âSooo⌠that means?â You know you need to be brave now, because if this isnât a dream, youâd never forgive yourself for not taking the leap.
âThat means, if you want to, Iâd love to have you as my girlfriend.â
âIsnât it a bit rushed?â You donât actually think so, but you still need to be sure.
âIâm all in if you are. I donât want to waste any more time, and even though itâs just a report, I can feel thereâs real truth behind it.â
Fast forward seven months, and you find yourself pressed against the shower wall like you do every night. But this time, itâs differentâjust hours ago, you made your first public appearance on a music show with Jungkook, just because you both felt ready, where he was not only nominated for Best Singer of the Year but won as well.
âKoo, right there, right there.â
It still amazes you how his cock seems to find your g-spot as soon as he enters you, though you wouldnât want it any other way.
âYeah? Right there, hm? Or is itâŚâ he trails off, shifting his hips ever so slightly, making you realise heâs actually hit the centre point of your g-spot now, his hard, unrelenting thrusts pushing you over the edge without warning.
âOh my goooddd,â your eyes roll back, mouth hanging open against the cool shower wall, as your cunt keeps gripping him even though itâs already creaming around his cock.
âGood girl, keep going, love. Show me how many you can take tonight.â
Thereâs nothing you can do, not that youâd want to do anything other than let him rearrange your insides. Especially not when his tattooed hand finds its way from the back of your hair to your jaw, tilting your head to the side, giving you the perfect view of his upper bodyârivulets of water cascading down his chiselled form, lips parted, eyebrows furrowed.Â
Heâs the epitome of perfection. Not just a ninety-nine percent but a hundred.Â
His eyes, though hooded, bore into your soul as his hips pick up the pace. Itâs this connection you share with him make being with him feel so special.
âKooâŚâ
âI know, love, just a bit more. Can you be a good girl?â
âYes,â you moan, because hell, you can. âYes, for youâŚah, winning the trophy.â
Even though you shouldnât feel his cock twitch with the pace heâs set, you do, realising instantly what he needs tonight.
âBest singer, KooâŚfuckâŚbest boyfriend, only fucking me when, hmm, the whole world wants a piece of you.â
âOnly you. Always you, ___, love.â You think you catch him licking a drop of saliva from his lips as he stares down at where your bodies connect, sending another wave of arousal from your stretched-out hole.
âYouâre so big.â
âJust for you, fuck, squeeze a bit more.â
Itâs not that you did it on purpose, but when his hand shoots down to your clit, circling it just right, your body responds as though itâs never felt this good, soaking him even more and gripping him tight as a vice.
âLike that, love, like that.â Jungkook grunts and pants, holding you harder, tighter as his cock seems to swell even more, pumping frantically in sync with your impending second orgasm.
When Jungkook canât hold back any longer, itâs all you need to let go too, the rush flowing through your veins just as fiercely as the love you feel for this man.
After some time, Jungkook pulls out, helping you straighten up and lean against his chest under the stream. His veiny hands trail down your body, washing away his release dripping out of you, as he plants kisses along the side of your face.
When heâs had enough, he, like always, turns you, brushing the wet strands of hair from your face. And as you do the same to him, captivated by how content and in love he looks, you canât help but feel like the luckiest girl in the world when, for the first time, Jungkook declares his feelings.
âI love you, till the day I die, ___.â
âI love you too, and beyond.â
Because this, because having Jungkook calling you his, is beyond probability.
a/n 3: lmk what you think in any way you like! �� If you liked what you read, pls consider buying me a âď¸ Ko-fi.com/runariya đ
Like what you read? Check out my other work here!
All Rights Reserved Š @runariya 2024
permanent taglist: @runariyaluvr , @kookiewithluv , @closer-to-jungkook , @dreamcatcherluvr , @blueofocean, @https-mei, @xsyruhh , @nemelkawar , @joonlover1207 , @elinaki92
#fic: beyond probability#bts imagines#bts fanfic#bts army#jungkook x reader#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook fanfic#jungkook x you#jungkook imagine#jjk x reader#jungkook#idolverse#Jungkook idolverse#Jungkook smut#bts smut#Jungkook fluff#bts fluff
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He wants to snark back like itâs a preconditioned response, barely even aware heâs doing it. But he doesnât actually have anything snappy to say back to that, and when he realizes it, he snorts instead. Itâs nice being around Shiro again. It shouldnât be, he should still be pissed, and heâs just tired instead.
Ichigo glances over, kind of surprised Shiro asked. That suggestion sounds incriminating though. He shrugs. âHavenât thought about it. I figured Iâd keep living a while and wait for it to come to me.â Plus, it wonât matter if he doesnât make it to being old. Ichigo rolls his eyes again. âThatâs not all you are, dumbass. Itâs all you want people to think you are.â Some of that is probably about survival. Which is fine. Ichigo doesnât think less of him for it. He also thinks itâs something Shiro tells himself, because if he acts like this is the only life he deserves, he wonât be disappointed when itâs all he ends up with. Except he is disappointed. He says it all the time in little ways that would be blatant if anyone bothered paying attention. And maybe its not so much that being a back alley drug dealer is all Shiro wants people to think he is, as much as itâs all he thinks people will let him be. That thought doesnât sit well with Ichigo. âIf thatâs all people see when they look at you, they donât have you figured out at all. Which is what I meant. Maybe thatâs what Iâll write a book about.â
Ichigo blows out a breath âDoesnât everyone?â he mutters. Because heâs really not immune to a hot guy saying yes even if he acts like it.Â
He presses his lips then pushes out a breath and looks away, and refuses to answer directly. âWhat I want and what I should want arenât the same thing anymore.â Heâs not so selfish that heâd put his wants over everyone elseâs best interests. He realizes that now. He messed up with Shiro, he wanted to be with him and so he threw everything else out the window. And everyone is paying for that now. He nods. It sounds like a good plan to him. It also sounds like Ichigo himself would have a hard time getting in unexpectedly and maybe thatâs best.
He blows out a breath thatâs so harsh itâs almost a growl. âIâm not worried about it. Why would I be worried about it or him? Iâm worried about you and whoâs going to be around to watch you when Iâm not.â Because Shiro needs to be watched. Heâs so subtly self destructive. Ichigo thinks that was a lot of words just to say Shiro's boyfriend wouldnât have dated him if he had a problem with drug usage. âWeird or smart?âÂ
Ichigo finishes looking around and huffs. âWhat, carrying bodies around in a sports car wasnât working for you?â As if he can talk. Heâs definitely had a body or three in his trunk. The difference is his car is made for that kind of thing.
"Oh, you were bein' a smartass?" There's a heavy dose of sarcasm in his tone while he rolls his eyes. But it's good to hear that Ichigo is still thinking of his sisters in this. Ever the protector. Has to make sure his sisters are alright, had to interrupt his own life to make sure Shiro gets through this treat.
He smirks slightly about that. "What would it be about? What it's like runnin' around the streets doin' everyone else's dirty work?" He scoffs, but it's good natured. "Whatever, I'm not that hard to figure out. How to understand a back alley drug dealer for dummies." He laughs, amusing himself.
Aiming a look at Ichigo, he arches a brow and disagrees. "I always need a bunch a' guys saying yes to me. Preferably hot ones." Not that he's sleeping with his staff. He tried that exactly twice. The first time was disastrously annoying and it was not a fluke.
It is a fair question, and he wants to argue that, but Ichigo keeps going to answer the question anyway. "I wasn't asking what you think, I was asking exactly what I asked." But he got Ichigo's option anyway and it doesn't surprise him. He notes that Ichigo didn't actually say yes or no to wanting him there, though. He's talking around the answer the same way Shiro did about the shirt. "I already plan on laying low for a while. As much as I can, at least. I think I'll stay in the penthouse for a while. It's a lot safer than the mansion but it'll seem less like hiding." And he can higher some muscle to keep around easy enough, like Ichigo's suggesting, he's stubborn about it. He has always been his own muscle. He's never needed security or guards, but this is getting bigger than he can handle on his own. It's getting bigger than he thinks he warrants, but he has made himself notoriously hard to get rid of.
He doesn't know how to feel about Ichigo trying to keep him and his maybe-boyfriend situation intact. It's good of him, it's the morally right thing to do. The only real problem with it Shiro has is that it's just further proof that he and Ichigo have no chance of being together again. "I'll figure things out with him, you don't need to worry about it." Or he wont. Maybe he'll sabotage his own building relationship and blame it on all the chaos of attempted assassination. His features even out. "All my habits?" This better not turn into a lecture. "He thinks I indulge a little too much sometimes, but otherwise he tolerates it. I doubt he expected anything less from a dealer. Most people don't know I was ever clean, only you. It was always weird for me not to use the product I was sellin'."
He slides into the driver seat and starts the car, then looks over at Ichigo and snorts. "You mean boring?" He shrugs. "I needed something with more cargo space that didn't stand out so much. It's easier to clean, too. Less work for my cleaner."
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ultimately i think that if you are trying to glean information about a person's real life personality or priorities or morals based on their taste in fiction then.... you are wasting your energy. like i don't even mean this in a shipping discourse kind of way, i'm also talking about like. those posts like "you like enemies to lovers because you want someone to see you at your worst and still love you" and "you like girl-next-door romance because you crave being known and loved by someone who's seen every part of you" or "you like BDSM porn because you want someone else to take control of your life."
these posts are frequently made in jest but. they drive me insane. i am aware this is a no fun allowed kind of take and i am Not trying to ruin anyone's fun, i just..... good God. can we stop applying pop psychology and freudian analysis and other such bullshit to our reading habits. please. please god. please.....
and on the other hand. if there are people already poised to take this in bad faith..... yes, of Course i'm the type of person to make this post, since i write largely horror-rape-torture-murder bullshit. and i actually would Love for people to assume i'm dangerous due to the horror-rape-torture-murder bullshit, since in actuality i am trapped in the body of a fat physically disabled soccer mom, and it sounds nice to be scary.
but like. being completely, totally, 100% sincere here. like i am not being a bitch, i am trying to impart genuine advice. IF you're spending a lot of time stressing out about what fiction does or doesn't say about you, your peers, your family, or (maybe especially) the people you dislike....
....your energy is being sucked into a black hole. Find Another Thing To Stress Over. Thank You
#everything is cosmically meaningless in the end but this is meaningless in our day and time like right here right now. you feel me.#i dunno what to tag this.#violence m#rape m#i GUESS.#a week off tumblr and i came back and looked in the notes of a post and went#wow. i didn't think about this shit at all when i was offline. you guys need to stop caring. this is nothing.#and suddenly all stupid discourse was solved forever. the heavens open up and angels sing.
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Dead Dove December 2024
Hello everyone! This December Iâm hosting a multi-fandom event that Iâm calling, Dead Dove December! From 12/01/2024 - 12/31/2024 Iâm encouraging others to create something that expresses their deepest and (most importantly) darkest desires. I will be reblogging all pieces of art or fanfiction, and will post a masterlist in January. or whenever i get around to it. i have not even done the pride masterlist bc I'm a disaster! But most importantly this will be for funsies.
I hosted this last year with just oscar/pedro Characters but Logan is my special guy so he's here now too <3
Details below the cutâŚ
What is Dead Dove Do Not Eat?
Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, or DDDNE has its origins in one of my comfort shows!
The phrase comes from a meme referencing the 2003 Arrested Development episode "Top Banana", in which Michael Bluth opens a paper bag labeled "DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT" and, upon discovering that there is a dead dove inside the bag, says, deadpan, "I don't know what I expected." - fanlore.org
In short, what you see in the tags is what you should expect to see in the fic. This can apply for any type of fic, including the fluffy ones, but itâs usually associated with darker themes. That being said, this is your warning that this is a DARK THEMED EVENT. If you arenât comfortable with darker topics like non-con, excessive violence, blood/gore, death, toxic relationships, 18+ age gaps, and more, then I encourage you not to participate in this event.
How to Participate
For the month of December, post your Dead Dove fanfiction or fan art on your blog. Use the tag #deaddovedecemeber2024 and tag me. You can also send a link via ask or DM if you like! I will not be posting anything for you, just reblogging and linking. At the end of December I will post a masterlist with links to everyoneâs works! Side Note - Since Tumblr doesnât really allow for NSFW art, you can post your work on Twitter or any other site that allows it and just send me that link so I can add it to the masterlist.
Rules
You MUST be 18+ to participate. I will be checking your blog/social media to be sure. Please make sure your age is easy to find. If I find that youâre a minor or if your age isnât readily present I will be blocking you and you will be unable to participate. You can just add that you are over 18 if you donât want your age out on the internet. As the creator and promotor of this event, I need to know Iâm not interacting with minors given the nature of this event.
The work MUST be dark in some way. Thereâs no limit to how dark your work needs to be or can be, but it needs to contain some sort of dark theme in order to qualify. If non con isnât your thing, dub con via stockholm syndrome or brainwash can let you write a more comfortable scene while still remaining dark. Fics and art do not necessarily need to be NSFW. last year a friend even did cnc, where it was seemingly dark but then ended with it was Marc and reader ding a scene. Dark reader or oc is an absolute yes.
Your work MUST have an Oscar Isaac, Hugh Jackman, or Pedro Pascal Character. It can be x reader, x oc,xcanon character, crosoversec. If you want Joel Miller fucking the ghoul from Fallout (or both of them fucking a reader)you can even though Eddie doesn't exist in any Oscar Pedro Hugh content. If you want Marc and Logan to fuck, go nuts. Got a series you're already writing, and wanna submit a dark chapter or a dark Au to it? That's fine too! We're pretty open here.
Do NOT post anything before 12/01/2024. I will not count submissions prior to that date or after 12/31/2024. Masterlsit will be posted in January.
Your work MUST contain the proper tags. I wonât police how detailed your tags should be, but, for instance, if your work contains non-con, and you didnât tag non-con then your work will not qualify. Please be inclusive in your writing where you can, but aware of POC queer and disabled people.
You may submit no more than two (2) pieces. This can include a fanfic and fanart, two fanfics or two fanarts. This is to allow someone to write a piece and make a work of art to accompany it. You can also work with another creator together.
Iâm not going to yuck someoneâs yum, but there are some things Iâm just personally not comfortable with and since Iâll be reading/viewing/promoting all of these, I have a few things not allowed in the event. The list of whatâs NOT allowed is shorter than the list of what IS allowed so hereâs a list of the things that will NOT be tolerated in this event:
No underage/aged up minor content - To clarify, this includes things popular ships like - TLOU 1 or "Show Ellie" x Joel or Miguel OâHara X Gwen Stacy. No "ageing up" minors for the purpose of a fic.
No Bestiality - To clarify, monsterfucking does NOT count as bestiality (at least to me). For example, werewolves, venom, Khonshu, e.t.c. are all allowed.
No incest - To clarify, step-sibling/step-parent relationships are permitted as long as everyone is 18+. Different age of consent in your state or country does not apply here, and frankly I'd prefer 21+ but I know there are younger people than me who write so I'm not gonna say you gotta write like that. Selfcest relationships are also allowed (like Moon Knight or Miguel with his alternate self, e.t.c.).
No necro/snuff. Plain and simple.
I have final say in what I want to promote. Is TLOU 2 Ellie an adult and not technically Joel's ctual kid? Yes. technically it fits all the rules but it makes me feel sick so I'm not gonna accept it. I cannot possibly prepare for all scenarios, and i want to just be able to have fun here with yall.
If youâre unsure if something is allowed or not, you can send me a DM or an ask for clarification prior to posting.
You can use any prompts you want or none, you arenât tied to any one idea but here are some to get the ideas flowing if you need them!
Also, you can absolutely use a fic to inspire your art, or art to inspire a fic! Your inspiration piece, whether yours or someone elseâs does not have to be from December, but you MUST obtain permission from the original creator before I promote your work. Most creators are happy when their work inspires others, and all my fics are open to being used for inspiration, but please reach out to the creator first.
Iâm very excited! This is my second year hosting this an I've hosted other events by myself or with friends so I'm happy to keep going, this time with Hugh Jackman bc i can't get Logan out of my head.
Dividers and header made by the amazing @melodygatesauthor
Please consider reblogging to spread the word!
I don't reall know many people in the logan/hugh jackman fandom so I'd love if this was an oppritunity to get to know yall too!
Dark prompt list to come, also check out #deaddovedecember2023 to see what last year had!
#deaddovedecember2024#dead dove do not eat#dark joel miller#dark!joel#the last of us hbo#Logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#dddne#dark#dark fanfiction#oscar isaac#pedro pascal#joel miller#moon knight#tlou#jake lockley#triple frontier#dark content#dark!fic#non con#dub con#yandere#dark jake lockley#dark marc specter#dark steven grant#dark santiago garcia#dark francisco morales#dark pero tovar#dark smut#dark duke leto
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my greatest achievement in DA2 is maxing out Carver's friendship
and all it took was begrudgingly kissing a little templar ass in act 1 because Carver didn't want to plan a prison break if my Hawke got his ass arrested for being stupid.
#carver hawke#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#well that and he didn't want leandra gamlen and himself to also get arrested for harboring an apostate but you get me#carver hawke loves his sibling and doesn't want them to get taken away that's why he's such an ass and approves of 'pro-templar' choices#in act 1 he's not pro-templar himself but kissing a little templar ass is how you avoid being arrested#'why yes cullen you are so right the templars are so cool and sexy' my hawke says through gritted teeth for that +5 friendship#look i love him okay he's my favorite and i will go the extra mile to make him happy and it's worth it for how much softer can be later on#honestly maxing out his friendship isn't hard if you're aware of what quests you're bringing him on and make him a grey warden#oh but you do need the legacy dlc otherwise you can't fully max friendship out... you can still get enough to change his dialogue/attitude#also like... we the player know hawke won't be arrested like they're not in any actual dangers from the templars as the playable character#but carver doesn't know that and neither does hawke so the templars *are* a real threat to them#and it's incredibly reckless to purposely piss off templars AND selfish because it's not just hawke that'll be arrested it's their family#for harboring them like we witness templars going after people hiding apostates soooo.....#i'm just saying that carver isn't irrational or just being an ass to personally annoy you okay he has cause#also once carver's a warden and ed has money and the estate THEN he's way more open about telling the templars to piss off#sigh one day i'll sit down and write an essay about carver.... one day
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OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
BEST. SURPRISE. EVER.
BTW
I LOVE YOU ASMI I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
SOOIGJLCFGOOOOO
R o b e r t d e n e i r o
R O B E R T D E N E I R O
i'm dying. i'm actually dying
Russel T. Davies
Russel T. Davies
ily asmi
i'm laughing bc this is incredibly obvious to ME but that is EXACTLY THE SAME RHYTHM so i am in fact delighted that you knew that
Yes this is true. Twelve is the lesbian and thirteen is idk pansexual or something idk. some sort of extremely niche microlabel i feel. not 'lesbian'
YOU WOULD THINK WOULDN'T YOU but no the master just really is that much of an ego-full person. he chose the name. like every time lord gets to choose their name and he called himself the master. & honestly there is also some sort of BDSM thing going on where the master REALLY LIKES the doctor using their name. and they're also both firmly in 'I Can Fix Him' territory about each other. fucking hell
MISSY MY FUCKING BELOVED ISTG I'M SO MAD THAT THE ONLY MASTER ARC THAT HAD HER BE LIKE FIXING HERSELF WAS WHILE SHE WAS A WOMAN AND THEY HAD THAT CLEAR DELINEATION THEY MADE BTW 'THE MASTER' AND 'MISSY' & I'M JUST. I LOVE HER. YOU FUCKING GOT ME. W H Y
the fucking bigeneration i was READY TO CRY & then they gave me the BEST GIFT OF ALL FUCKING TIME WHOVIANS EVERYWHERE CHEERED ISTFG
i also fucking sobbed but that's not the point the point is it fixed me
i love how little catherine knows about doctor who. every interview they do where david and catherine are together and something factual about the lore comes up david turns to catherine like "đđ" i fucking love it
the QPR is the realest thing ever istFG it's so much stronger than stobin it really is and i'm biased towards stobin bc they're my FIRST PLANTONIC SHIP but omg they knocked it out of the park. the doctor 7 donna. forevermore. in the brains of people who have gone insane
THE FUCKING. KILLS HER. FUCK
HE KILLS HER
TO SAVE HER LIFE
BUT HE STILL KILLS HER
AND HE HAS TO CARRY THAT
FUCKING HELLLLLLLLLLL
this is what the 60th anniversary fixed in me btw. this pain. the cracks r still conveniently there & reopen when i put myself back in time within the canon
why would i do that you ask
obviously
i
must
????
pain
donna
</3.
^see. totally reasonable
the original show had shitty effects and so does the new one and everyone loves it. if u genuinely think the shitty effects of dw are something to overcome u r made aware that u r incorrect. we love our ridiculous procreate ass living bin and obviously plastic mickey. go watch avengers if u want GOOD cgi
this is profoundly accurate & also neutral which is smart bc having not watched the show u would ABSOLUTELY not be able to adequately defend your position to avoid having ppl come up to ubto ""explain" why ur wrong.
that said.
tentoo is the best ending rose tyler could have possibly had it tied in with themes in school reunion & impossible planet & family of blood & also fucking army of ghosts & doomsday & no one can ever change my mind. i fucking love it to fucking pieces u can pry the metacrisis from my cold dead hands
HE'S CALLED TENTOO BC HE'S ALSO TEN IT'S A FUCKING PUN IT'S THE BEST PUN EVER I LOVE IT
NuWho is one word & New Who is two words. Expeditiousness is the friend of all. this is the fandom that uses full-on numbers to refer to versions of a character lke the infamous "you can like 11 better than 10" post lmao u expect us to keep two words we could conpress into one??
THE TARDIS SHOULD ABSOLUTELY IMPLEMENT RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS IF I EVER GET TO WRITE FOR THE SHOW THAT'S MY FIRST FUCKING SUGGESTION. I'M FUCKING LOVING THAT. also the tardisđđđŠľđđŠľđđđŠľđđŠľđŠľ
he does indeed. bridgerton episode
the ninth doctor is sometimes a butch lesbian and sometimes something unknowable & i think it was the unknowable version that was bobbing his head. he fucking rocks also ur absolutely right he has so little rizz. he can get it
truth. nothing more to say
very very queer. nothing more to say
david tennant and catherine tate had SO MUCH FUN during that episode istg i love them so much
the sexuest person is indeed a head. apparently he was supposed to be in a certain story arc & he'd have his head chopped off and that's why he's a head but they couldn't get him. so now we just simply have to assume that he got into a beheading predicament at some point
the Meep's pronoun is the definite article. easy mistake to make. the Meep is always "the Meep". friend shaped because evil subterfuge :,[
.....uh........ idk asmi idk lmao
WAIT OH MY GOD IT'S CASSANDRA YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT CASSANDRA I'M GOING TO EXPLODE THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY
*strolls into tumblr and falls on my face pretending I haven't been missing for like a month I was out getting the milk hello maggots*
Doctor Who But I've Never Watched It 2.0
For those of you feeling deja vu YES I HAVE MADE POSTS ON DOCTOR WHO BEFORE OKAY but back then I was a young uneducated lad, just a fresh blossom unfucked by tumblr. Now I am surrounded by you lot and by god do y'all love Doctor Who. And I am Educated. My DW virginity is deflowered. All that.
SO HERE WE GO, EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW I'VE NEVER WATCHED:
The show started in 1963, and then was rebooted in 2005 and the showrunner was... Robert de Neiro? Idk all I know is he gives Pedro Pascal vibes. Like his name. His name is Robert.
There have been 15 Doctors so far. One is a lesbian and it is not Jodie Whittaker, it is actually the 12th doctor.
There's someone called the Master. I don't know what that means, or if it's some kind of BDSM thing, but he has intense sexual tension with the Doctor.
He's also emo and has bleached hair and is kinda babygirl. And is called Missy.
The Doctors all have intense trauma and the 15th Doctor kind of girlbossed it by leaving David Tennant intact when they binary-fissioned.
Donna is a person played by Catherine... Tate? Not Hepburn. And she knows less about Doctor Who than I do. And Donna is in a QPR with the David Doctors (there are two of them).
David Doctor loves Donna very much. And then he kills her. But doesn't kill her. And then they have dinner together with her husband and kid.
The original show had shitty effects. The new show does too, and everyone is happy about this.
Rose is someone the David Doctor is in love with and then she ends up with a human AU of him and he leaves and the fans are very divided and passionate about this.
The human AU is called Tentoo because y'all hate using W's. What the fuck is Tentoo. What is Nuwho. Why isn't it New and Two. Help me.
THERE IS SOMETHING CALLED THE TARDIS, IT IS BIGGER ON THE INSIDE, I HAVE HAD WEIRD DREAMS WHERE IT WAS A FUCKING AUTO-RICKSHAW WITH RIBBONS FOR SEATBELTS, AND IT IS BLUE AND NOT YELLOW BUT IT WAS YELLOW IN MY DREAM. Because of a Drarry fanfic that I misread.
The 15th doctor dances homoerotically with someone during the French Revolution.
The 9th doctor kinda vibes with like his head jiggling idk I've only seen one gif of him.
The 13th doctor keeps forgetting she's in a woman's body.
It is all very gay.
David Tennant's arms are too long.
The sexiest person is a head.
The Meep's pronouns are Meep. Meep is not friend. IF NOT FRIEND THEN WHY FRIEND SHAPED??????
A buttcheek skin talks or something yeah this is all I got.
have at it y'all @robinprinceofchaos @multidimensional-trashcan @wispedvellichor @queermarzipan thanks for the second hand brainrot
*sneaks away under the cover of night* i was never here
#doctor who#asmi doctor who#!!!!!!!!!!#i'm so excited to get to read and respond to ANOTHER ASMI DOCTOR WHO POST#AAAAAAAAA#I LOVE YOU ASMI I LOVE THISSSS
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The art is lovely and now I'm gonna ramble because that's what I do when I care about something.
For the love of women, please PLEASE can fan artists remember to add muscle to their Shadowhunter ladies? I'll commend Bowater for cleverly giving James that sculpted and lean look without making him a beefcake (nothing against beefcakes, I'd love to hug them), but Cordelia is once again suffering from Arms And Shoulders Too Slender It's Hard To Even Imagine Her Picking Up A Sword. There is some there, yes, but artists shouldn't be afraid of giving particularly Female Main Characters weight and toned muscle. Cordelia is supposed to be nearly the same height as James as far as I can remember, and she's curvy, and full, and she wields a sword like it's second nature to her. Please explain why she looks so tiny in James' lap.
Also I'm pretty sure marriage runes are supposed to go over the heart whenever possible (thinking about Will's parabatai rune being over his heart instead -- he didn't get Tessa to draw over the scar, did he??) and... either I'm looking at the picture wrong or James' rune is not over where his heart should be.
For the matter, where are their other runes and scars?? James' Voyance rune isn't even on his hand. And I'm pretty sure he's right handed. I could have that wrong though.
Another thing: no one can ever decide what Cordelia's hair looks like and it's the funniest thing to me. This is what happens when all you do is vaguely say the colour is like fire but also like rose petals but also a flowing river of those things but also is Red (probably for redhead, but then from there I never understand where the rose petal analogy comes from considering the typical rose is a deep bloody colour -- I do acknowledge the existence of those light orange varieties though which might more closely resemble red hair). In the end, I'm glad readers can infer what they want and imagine the characters how they like.
Anyone else think James looks like he's built like a tennis player? Oddly specific, maybe, but it was a thought I had. Mostly the arms and somewhat narrow body.
James' hair is nice, his eyes are an interesting take on gold in the shadows. Bowater managed to also make him look closely related to his father, so bravo for that.
In the end, the focus is obviously on the marriage runes and not other physical aspects outside of it being clear that this is James and Cordelia. Bowater's style is very beautiful and elegant. Love the way fabric and lighting is done too. I'll add also that it is possible to be a smaller person who is slender but still strong so I mean Cordelia's not necessarily done wrong, I just interpret her appearance differently. Obviously, they're both hot and they're both attractive and I have my qualms with the series, chronicles, and author -- the fandom I am so-so on, though I'm still here, aren't I? And I'm taking the time to ramble about my thoughts on a piece of fanart -- but this is good. Gorgeous, even. Both James and Cordelia are beautiful.
#side note: am I the only one who thought cc made a mistake trying to describe james as handsome in cordelia's eyes#as opposed to matthew being the beautiful one#when there has always been a deep and aching strange beauty to james??#james herondale#cordelia carstairs#vaguely crediting charlie bowater though it isn't like you can't find a dozen more copies of this with the credit#also yes I mercilessly picked this apart because I am still trying to find avenues to express my dissatisfaction with tlh#I search for flaws what else can I say#I am aware of it but it's hard to turn those thoughts processes off#maybe I'll write a post at some point all about the authors I once Loved that I am now deeply critical of#a lot of people would hate me for it but eh#also we all know about the marvelisation of cinema#but is it time to talk about the marvelisation of book series/worlds?#or perhaps it has a better and more book-focused name? the jkr approach? rick riordan's marvel-esque flaw? the sjm plague? the clare affair?#we'll workshop it#maybe it's the curse of middleschool-YA series and the issue of aginh readers in fandoms#and I don't mean this as discriminatory against anyone older in fandom because there is not really a limit nor should there be#for most media#but the issue of when the readers grow up amd authors try to accomodate for that -- not necessarily by making their work more adult --#but by making MORE because there is also an influx of new fans and they want to stay relevant while retaining the old#it's a whole thing though I'd need to sit down to properly organise my thoughts to talk about it
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Itâs actually insane how fandom in general has become so scared of making weird and dark and ugly works. Like I look at myself and see how I have also subconsciously adapted this instinct to self censor and make things âmarketableâ and itâs making me want to crawl out of my skin. I need to get weirder and worse and more off-putting hello
#I need to write a proper Spectra&Gus meta bc itâs been cooking me how people donât Want to see the insanity in them#argh#d0 stuff#negative#d0 smashes the keyboard#like yes#Gusâs devotion and loyalty are extreme and these feelings make him do stupid things that he is absolutely aware of being stupid#but letâs not pretend that these feelings go both ways in their relationship#Spectra (for like. the majority of the New Vestroia except the maybe last 12 eps?) sees Gus as a convenient tool#like Yeah he is like. a person and all that but Spectra doesnât Interact with him when it doesnât concern his business so#and also yes. he gives Gus a level of autonomy that one might not exactly expect from how usually these relationships go but#one Has to question if itâs bc of his goodwill or bc he is safe in his knowledge that Gus would never leave him#which. fun and sick and makes them sooo compelling#I would also argue that Spectra/Keith donât even miss Gus when he âdiedâ as a person at first#but as the second pair of hands for work#like it was quite funny to see Spectra give instructions to air only to be reminded that his minion died#but it does rise the question of why hasnât it happened before or in any other situation#(which I must say I really dig because yes. Spectra has always been centred around his ambitions so ofc this is where it would hurt first)#but yeah. sth sth Spectra only starts his journey of Actually giving a shit about Gus and acknowledging his importance to him as a person#by the end of nv#you could still argue it was partially (or maybe wholly) motivated by convenience that Gus presents but#it really was the first time Spectra has personally expressed his tie to Gus gah#all of this to say#they are sickos; each in their own way; and I think we can really make this more sinister and insane than weâve allowed ourselves#throughout the years so far#like yeah. can I see them as a happy couple? sure! but also can I see this as a very codependent (more so from Gusâs angle) relationship#thatâs being sprinkled with Tons of manipulation from Spectra? also yes#actually sorry for this wall of tags idk what got me thinking about them again#but itâs so so biting the bars day bc these guys are so fun!! we just have to let them be and maybe read canon through less good intentions#ok uhhh
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Okay, no, sorry, Iâm still mad about this. âBe critical of the media you consume and examine why you react to it in the way that you do, support marginalized and stigmatized identities.â Yeah, until itâs about mental illness.
A woman (or even man, if heâs deemed over-emotional) makes music about suffering from mental illness and people just go, âWhat are they complaining about, thatâs so immature, hashtag wangst.â (And then, sometimes, inexplicably, if the mentally ill woman gets better and writes happier music, they then talk about how artistically bankrupt she is now and that she should go back to hating herself.)Â People LOVE cis white pRoBLeMaTiC (straight) fictional men until they are realistically mentally ill, in which case theyâre âwhinyâ and âinsufferableâ and deserve to die violently, apparently (or, if fandom is merciful, theyâre ignored). (And then they celebrate when they DO inevitably get killed off.) âDo your duty and watch [thing I, mc13, personally find insufferable] For The (white) Gays because it has Gays.â Sure, will you watch c4 Pure, the ONLY show specifically about OCD, then? (No, the answer is no, itâs always no.)
I canât get anyone to watch Doom Patrol. I couldnât get people (in general-I did convince a few irl friends thank GOD) to watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. One of the most popular and acclaimed shows right now has a character with schizophrenia who was turned into the Big Bad Villain for no fucking reason. One of the most commonly-cited examples of Iconic⢠queer media involves a mentally ill man being broken over and over and over again before The Ship⢠can reasonably happen. DW introduced a major character who was at one point suffering from mental illness in her past, AND THEN ALL MENTION OF THIS WAS COMPLETELY DROPPED IN THE FUTURE, WITH NO BEARING ON ANYTHING TO THE POINT WHERE I FORGOT IT EVEN EXISTED??!?!? R*tched was a thing that existed despite the Sad Sympathetic Backstory treatment being IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF WHAT PURPOSE THIS CHARACTER SERVED IN One Flew Over the Cuckooâs Nest. THEY GAVE. A SAD WOOBIE VILLAIN TREATMENT. TO THE /LITERAL PERSONIFICATION/ OF ABLEISM. THAT IS HER FUNCTION. TO EXIST AS A SYMBOL OF ALL THE WAYS SOCIETY OPPRESSES THE DISABLED AND MENTALLY ILL.
I am!!! Literally!!!!! The only one!!!!!!!!! Complaining about these things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE ONLY ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one else has said ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No one is talking about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Iâm so tired!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#*OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW REPRESENTATION/FICTIONAL DISABILITY IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL OF ACTIVISM*#*OTHER OBLIGATORY COMMENT ABOUT HOW LIKING '''pRoBLeMaTiC''' CONTENT DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON OR A HORRIFYING ABLEIST*#THIS WAS JUST ME GETTING MAD IT'S NOT THAT DEEP#In the Vents#the real horror was the ableism we found along the way#like. in some of these cases yes I /KNOW/ it was not meant to come across like that!!! but y'all accept that as a valid type of media#criticism when it's about anything else!!!!!!!! just not this apparently????!?!!!!#I do not understand how there is such an ABYSMAL treatment of the subject of mental illness in fiction when this is the#memetic Mental Illness Website like genuinely I do not get it I am scaling my walls and banging pots and pans and growling like a rabid dog#IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THE MESSAGE A STORY IS TELLING YOU GOTTA APPLY IT HERE TOO#I AM ALSO THE LAST PERSON TO SAY THAT YOU'VE GOTTA ADD A DISCLAIMER OF SOMETHING'S LAUNDRY LIST OF FLAWS BEFORE YOU TALK ABOUT IT#BUT JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE ON SOME LEVEL EVEN IF IT'S JUST TO YOURSELF THAT THINGS HAVE FLAWS#YOU'VE GOTTA BE AWARE OF SHIT#WHEN WILL WE HAVE THE OUTCRY OVER BURY YOUR DISABLED THAT WE DO OVER BYG (WHICH IS ALSO BAD BTW)#I GUARANTEE YOU WE WON'T BE GETTING A SEPARATE FUCKING CON OVER FANDOM OUTCRY THAT'S FOR SURE#I'm making a rule: if you can prove to me that you've started cxgf after reading this and/or if you can prove to me#that you've watched pure (channel 4/hbo max-the one with charly clive) I'll write a fic for you#let's see if I get sniped for criticizing both the beloved sacred mads show AND the plane crash girls show#if I see ONE more comment about how either of those is a perfect show that Gets What All The People Want I will in fact spontaneously#combust.#(and before you @ me yes I have any and all permutations of show tags blocked I'm not just being mean to be mean)#my god remember what happened the last time I tried to talk about this a;lsdfkajs;ldfkj#good thing I turned off anonymous asks!!#this is not even getting into some of the SMALLER fandoms#like I do not ever want to think about the takes I saw for ctrlz EVER again
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i think that there was a fanwriter named Nemis that wrote a lot of fics about E/C? i liked those fics!
My memory has never been good and after 20 years away it's completely unreliable, but still, that name rings a bell. I vaguely remember her being a nice person that I was aware of but never really interacted with because our areas of interest didn't quite intersect.
i hoped the show would give some spot to Celebrian ⌠and instead. lol.
Indeed! I can just picture the show writers turning their noses up at the thought of writing Galadriel as a mother. She can't be a mother! Whoever heard of a mother being interesting? No one would think it was cool for Galadriel to be an actual queen and seasoned diplomat and seer, with a husband and a child.
Not to mention that Celebrian can't be interesting at all because she dies as a damsel in distress, so she must be a wimp all her life (ignoring the fact that everybody dies in distress.) People can't imagine that her life could have been interesting before that :( Sexism and failure of imagination again.
it would be interesting to see if anyone else had my idea ⌠of course i have not read all the Galadriel/Celeborn fics out there so if someone has those, feel free to drop!
LOL! I'm sorry to end up dropping my own fics on you, but it sounds like you might enjoy my Oak and Willow
(Ignore all the tags, they were auto-imported from Henneth Annun when that archive backed up all its stories on Ao3 and then shut down.) And you can probably ignore chapters 1-4 if you're just in it for the C/G romance. They are world building for Doriath and setting up Celeborn's position in his home, with Thingol, Melian, Luthien and Daeron.
I originally started out intending this one to be a Sindarin history of the world, from the rising of the sun and the moon. But it rapidly became the story of C&G in the First Age. If I had known it was just going to be their love story against a backdrop of the events of the First Age, I might have left off chapter 1 at least, as that was setting up something I didn't actually write in the end.
But it is more or less what you're talking about. So if you're interested, you might like it :)
oh that's interesting, may i ask if it's still online? my beef with peter jackson started muuuuch later with the hobbit movies, but i like to see how other people reacted to the LOTR trilogy when it comes out
Yes, Battle of the Golden Wood is on Ao3 too - also imported from HASA (Henneth Annun Story Archive, which was the place to post elf fanfic back in the day.)
I agree with you about the Hobbit movies! Way too much bloat. There was the occasional nice thing in them - I enjoyed seeing Beorn's house and his bees, for example - but almost everything that PJ put in was grotesque and unfunny and unnecessary. The Hobbit would have made one great film, but there just isn't enough story in it to stretch to three.
as for what you say ⌠i think that that's the current approach of Warner Bros, with its War of the Rohirrim stuff or whatever. i'm not enthusiast about it at all and i would probably complain about it too,
I know what you mean. I'm not enthusiastic either about a Rohirrim spin-off because it seems like they've picked the most low-effort story imaginable. Yes, you can use props from The Vikings and Game of Thrones. You can probably crib story lines from Bernard Cornwell's Anglo-Saxon stories. Have we not seen enough pseudo-early-medieval stories already?
I would have liked to see something we haven't seen before! (Which doesn't mean I won't at least check out the first season. But my hopes are not high.)
i do not want to be mean but btw i do have the feeling that a lot of rop fans are mostly migratory dark romance fans
Oh, the Reylo folks from Star Wars? That would actually make an awful lot of sense. They certainly behave like them. I managed to avoid them by being in the Kylux fandom at the time, and the Kylux fandom was numerous enough to just block them all and carry on doing our own thing regardless. Also a good time :)
it's lowkey ⌠limitating? flattening? because neither galadriel nor sauron fit into this archetype and i do think that forcing them in this dynamic ⌠just doesn't make them sauron and galadriel anymore? but i digress
I know exactly what you mean. I've mostly spent my fandom life in slash (m/m) fandom and there is a migratory slash fandom which is the same. If a pairing gets big enough then the msf will arrive and reduce it to a set of tropes and stereotypes, and then move on to the next big thing as soon as it arrives. In that case, you just have to wait for the next big thing and hope there is someone left still writing to pick up the fandom once they've gone.
Yeah at this point i do honestly wish that everyone can write its own retelling of lotr and publish it.
At least there is the opportunity for us to do it in Ao3, even if we're not allowed to make money on it. We can do it for love :)
Hoo, boy. I am definitely going to unfollow the Celeborn tag again, since it's full of Haladriel shippers arguing that Celeborn stans are harassing them.
I'm not getting into whether that's true. I have no interest in Rings of Power, and as far as I am concerned, Halbrand does not exist in Tolkien's world. I can't be somewhere where people mix Amazon's fanfiction with actual lore.
Also ship wars are not for me. I was a massive Celeborn defender during the release of the movies, and I wrote several novels worth of fanfic then. I think I'm spent.
Still, as a Celeborn fan I thought the Celeborn tag would be a great place to go to find stuff about Celeborn. How could I have been so foolish!
My poor lad! Not even his own tag is about him. Which is exactly what I should have expected, now I come to think about it.
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8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)
#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to#i don't want to make people uncomfortable#and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane#it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions#and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any#of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you#it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done#such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical#and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt#of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything#i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not#visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness#is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow#i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace#i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie#life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do#this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals#and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting#them that was never my intention. i promise#so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about#you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate#the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people#not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too#I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking#brain of mine.
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billions(tm): it's incredible how we just provide a little snippet of material designed to be "guy we all want to push down the stairs immediately somehow" and through this amazing acting alchemy it becomes gold. electric. magnificent. we can't get enough so we will just keep writing this loser character and the actor will somehow keep bringing the dazzling transmutation through his ability
actor will roland: [is aware autistic people are real]
#this is at least half humorous in several ways lmao but also like fr...#winston billions#will roland has pretty much said he is aware that autistic people real. and not [ppl's utterly off the walls assumptions abt what Defines#Autism or what an Autistic Person is like and how you would Know]#i don't think that Billions(tm) would be very much better at that than re: say; taylor's being nonbinary (surprisingly alright yet. u kno)#quant kid 2 could've been anyone but writing Winston is like so certainly the common deal of the inadvertently autistic character#drawing from all the autistic people allistic ppl encounter all thee time without being aware & deciding they're annoying / jerks / too#weird to live too pathetic to die / grating nerds / Funnily Odd in a way you deign to merely raise an eyebrow or scrunch your face at....#so on so forth. ''oh you know Those People we all know who are just Like That''#and deciding they must be ''just like that'' b/c they're either too arrogantly rude &/or clueless / Unaware to be neurotypically superior#also do not get me wrong lmao big old proponent of Did You Know That? Actors Act. Now You Know#so of course yes will's acting is off the shits i mean here i am am i right. and he is using it when he is acting.#the acting talent Is off the shits. the tiniest moments they give him & he CRUSHES KILLS it really is amazing i'm not waving it off at all#cue twitter randos so betrayed when kelly aucoin is not dollar bill & is like ''yes in my acting job i'm playing this fuckin asshole''#meanwhile i'm still following the interviewer who a) asked will anything abt billions b) talked abt the immediate striking intro of will's#as quant kid 2 And the immediate draw of / effervescent dynamic between winston & taylor. Someone Who Gets It#anyway it's like will can fathom that actually the people who are Always ''acting wrong'' w/their bad grating vibes no matter what they do#are not always Those People(tm) who We all know & loathe right....thee magic of knowing winston can be someone fully earnest#and of course always actually trying; & having perfectly comprehensible wants & needs. damn how's he doing that#bringing a certain je ne sais quoi to this Insufferable Loser Nerd material! so we don't mess with the process.#i.e. we will only ever let his role get dunked on forever b/c sure can't fathom anything else anyways. our Correct characters could never..#only tuk; adjacent in wrong nerd loserdom; can be his friend. rian who is correct but zany with it can be his abusive friend
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iâm so sorry but yâall be writing smut and saying âoooh he hit her cervix đ¤¤đ¤¤â like thatâs not incredibly painful and if you bruise your cervix you will experience horrible symptoms
#i see this particularly reading cod smut#i used to enjoy reading it but recently all i see is crazy crazy dark shit#and not to say i donât like the occasional dark fic that would be a lie#but itâs constant#and itâs so dark and doesnât at all relate to the characters#like yes people can write what they want but also be aware that you are perpetuating the norm that violent#rough and degrading sex is the norm usually without any kind of aftercare involved in these stories#idk itâs just something iâve noticed recently and it kind of pisses me off ngl#like a bruised cervix????? OUCH#bitch your cock touches my cervix you are OUT#also not all peepee's need ot be 11 inches thick and girthy#sorry for this rant i an so tired#signing iff#i miss smut that didnt involve degradation/violence/roughness#also this isnt me shaming bd/sm i swear#but a lot of yall obviously dont know much or anything about that community but just write it becayse its hot or popular or whatever#when what youre writing is acthally fucked up and borderline abusive vetween the chsracters#idk igbore ne#also i know i mentioned cod but this isnr just cod i swesr#dont hate me
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Bai Yue gives us Wulin Heroes in a nutshell
#Wulin Heroes#Li HongYi#Huang RiYing#Li Hong Yi#Huang Ri Ying#my crappy youtube screenshots#this is a low budget drama so if you come right from TBoY be aware#There will be weird editing and while TBoY spelled out everything for the viewer you will have to connect the dots here sometimes#because the writing or editing got wonky#character: Bai Yue#character: Ye Xi#And people are annoyed with the FL when she is a ginseng fairy newly turned human at the prologue#so obviously she has no clue of the human world and how two faced people can be also she loses her memories twice#and people withhold important information from her#like cut her some slack#she is strong as hell and will support the people she wants to support no matter what#Episode 17#aka the episode where Ye Xi tries to reverse vampire Bai Yue lmao#excuse my bad quality screenshots#Wulin Heroes screenshots
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I think it's also about the context and perspective.
RPs and D&D, etc., are explicitly all about self-inserts, or OCs which inherently carry pieces of yourself. So are most computer games, whenever you're not playing an established character. When you RP in the SWTOR fandom, 99% is ALL OCs, which might or might not be full self-inserts, and it's glorious and nobody minds and it's what people WANT.
Circumstances are different in other fandoms. Self-insert/Mary Sues are perfectly fine and you should write exactly what you want, because writing is always for yourself. But most often, people are interested in reading about the canon fandom characters. OCs serve just fine to fill needed story/plot gaps, but when the story focuses on the OC is when many readers look for something else (whether or not the OC is a self-insert).
I wouldn't be surprised if that's the driving force behind the "cringe" perspective. Self-inserts have always been fine for the writer. All the criticism is from the reader perspective. Not to say that it's justified - self inserts are really a different genre, so if you're looking for canon characters, you just don't go there. People are misattributing readership wants as valid criticism of writing and character development.
But fandom writers also need to understand that, as encouraging as people may be to you writing your OCs, your audience might be very small. That's just something you have to accept.
It's only when you break away from fandom that your OCs/self-inserts gain visibility as "real" and "valid" original characters. That's literally the only difference between "OC" and "real character." It's fandom vs non-fandom. Because, of course, all canon characters in every fandom ever are somebody's OC, and you will never know if that OC was a self-insert or not. Even your "Mary Sue" is more a product of fandom than an original story.
So perspective is key. Write what you want and enjoy it! Know that readers will read what they want, too, and those might be different things.
people are so weird about self insert ocs actually. like why wouldn't you want a made up little guy who's like you except cooler and they get to live all your fantasies? what are you afraid of? having fun? free yourself
#commentary#writing#i did my share of Mary sue critiquing back in the early days#I'm glad the awareness is shifting#but also you have to remember that nobody has to like or read the OCs you write#should that stop you? no!!!!#are you owed the validation of readers? also no#and if that's what you're looking for then it's important to keep in mind#that the validation you want might hinge on writing something other than OC-focused#i think when a lot of people call OCs 'cringe' they're REALLY saying that they wouldn't read it#and that's fair#but they don't HAVE to read it#meanwhile yes i think everyone does enjoy throwing elements of themselves into fandoms#which you can do and still not want to read someone else's lol
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how to manifest with your jupiter sign
this post feels long lost due, I had many asks on this so I will make a post on this one <33
support me on ko-fi :)
Jupiter is a planet of faith, and optimism and abundance. However, you don't really have a planet specifically made for "manifestation", but if you think you had to guess one, I am guessing it would be Jupiter. Even in vedic astrology, people with strong brihaspati or Jupiter are considered lucky. Someone who was reading palms for me and my sister the other day said the first thing we do to see luck through hands is the Jupiter and Venus mount. But Venus is luxury you have in life and Jupiter is the fortune, I hope I am making sense. But otherwise, I have often seen 11th house be associated with manifestation
this post definitely checked my creativity and the methods of manifestations im aware of lmao. I have not taken this from any book but rather its mere observation of the charts I have seen until now, and asked my family to see if it worked for them and it made sense so its again a my theory kinda post lmao. I hope it is able to help y'all too <33 I was refraining from making a post on this one but it had a LOTT of asks so I decided to do it :) Let's gooooooooooo
use a combination of your sign, degree and house to find common grounds<33
Jupiter in:
Aries/1st house: First of all, be precise and extremely clear about what you want. If you need to put the work or you believe in taking inspired actions, please do! I would also suggest concentrating/condensing your energy in your 3rd eye through meditations. Believe in yourself and also, don't jump 10 places. I have often seen people with Jupiter in 1st house have kind of a scattered energy, to put it correctly, not really laidback, not really fierce, and I think this should be fixed. I would suggest people with this placement to work with their chart ruler and Jupiter along to find a best method that could suit them, the best one I feel like suggesting for everyone, is meditation.
Taurus/2nd house: I think people with this placement should definitely use affirmation tapes/affirmations. I would suggest methods that make you feel at peace and calm, and relaxing. Use aura meditations/ocean music before bed and calm yourself down and focus. Speak your desire into existence, using affirmations in front of mirror could be one thing you can do. If possible, make a vision board or buy a small manifestation souvenir suggesting your desire is complete. If possible, write your manifestations on a white sheet and bury them under a plant or soil in your garden.
Gemini/3rd house: Write. Journal your desires, write them down, clearly. If you guys have things like a feng shui crystal turtle, write your desires on a paper and put it under that turtle. I would also suggest using affirmations, to people with this placement, be optimistic and say good things about your manifestation. Use the law of assumption. Listen to subliminals, it may really help as well.
Cancer/4th house: FEEL your manifestation. Use music that makes you feel as if, evokes such emotions you know. Use the moon cycles for manifestation. Have you guys heard of Moon water manifestation? Basically, in a glass put some water and set intentions of your manifestation and put it under the full moon. Next day, drink that water. If you used a bigger bottle, then drink that water every time you set intentions of your manifestations. Use visualization
Leo/5th house: Have fun with your manifestation. Enjoy what you are willing to manifest and feel the vibes coming in. Be confident that yes, it is coming and it would happen. Be creative about your manifestation. Try drawing your desires if you guys enjoy arts. Create beautiful DIYs like creative vision boards while blasting music, or pretty photo frames or phone wallpapers that would suggest completion of your desires. I would also suggest using heart chakra meditations, lifting your spirits up.
Virgo/6th house: Create a manifestation routine. Something that locks you in and also, dont be too fixtated on when will it happen. Create a routine you enjoy and it can be absolutely anything. I however feel like suggesting 369 method, 55X5 method or things like so. One other thing I will say is, don't be afraid of helping someone if your boundaries are not crossed, and you may actually find that you have coincidences that lead you to what you had wanted. I would say, be open minded as well. Release pent up energy in your body time to time. I have often seen people with this placement are already very helping/people like to ask them for help.
Libra/7th house: I would suggest talking about your manifestation, in a journal, to someone you trust or even to yourself in a positive, loving way! Enjoy talking about what you want, talk about it with love, faith and optimism. I would suggest using a sigil, especially near your mirror or when you are getting ready. Use a pretty paper, and make it super cute and to your aesthetic. If its possible, clean and program the ornaments you wear, or even if its a hair tie you wear daily. By program I mean, meditating on it and setting a vibration/energy that corresponds to your manifestation. pretending as if can help too.
Scorpio/8th house: Don't talk about your manifestation until its complete, don't tell much people about it until you are close with them. Use sleep meditations (I would suggest Edward Art's sleep meditations) and please, believe in your manifestation but yourself first, that you can attract what you want. Use the law of attraction. Even though I suggest being on high vibrations, I would still say, let yourself feel your emotions, its important to feel yourself. Don't get too attached, fearful or desperate for what you want. Pray to whoever you believe when you're sleeping. Often seen people with this placement/8th house moons or stelliums have some kind of divine intervention with the things they desire. Be open to change in paths, if it is possible.
Sagittarius/9th house: Be optimistic about your manifestation. Pray if you believe in a higher deity or power. This is a very lucky placement in my opinion and you have the power to achieve whatever you want, just desire it strongly and in a positive way. Use frequency meditations, and if possible. Have faith and patience and don't be in a rush for anything. Use manifestation journals if possible. I feel people with these placements are already quite spiritual or at least aware of such topics. Use affirmations/ religious affirmations if you believe in one.
Capricorn/10th house: Talk about your manifestation, don't lie about what you want when asked, say it if its not violating your boundaries and if not, just say something neutral. I feel people with this placement, often manifest what they show, even if they are trying to be private or pretentious, its just weird. Act as if, and have some confidence. I feel people with this placement appear lucky to people so I would indeed suggest protecting your energy. This placement should also somehow be ready to accept the challenges that will come along when they ask for what they want, because these people often dream big but this placement again feels brings unpredictable things on your path. So, be open and flexible is a suggestion. But be assured, the rewards often exceed expectations!!
Aquarius/11th house: USE PINTREST BOARDS IF YOU DOO. Use subliminals, Create a manifestation journal with affirmations and pictures. Use manifestation meditations. Experiment with your manifestations, let it be, and let it go. Don't obsess about what you're manifesting. Have a positive self talk. Your manifestation is actually likely to appear when you least expect it/don't bother about it much. Random but write yourself messages/emails or success stories as if you achieved what you want, this is a very good placements for strong manifestors imo
Pisces/12th house: Use visualization, SATs coming to me specifically. Sleep in the state of wish fulfilled. Be helathy-delusional, and use crystals if you have one or are willing to use them and even better if you can charge them near ocean. Use water meditation, water-manifestation methods. Have strong faith :)) Use spells and charms. program your crystals and journals.
EXTRA: Jupiter in air signs or degrees: Watch your thoughts and words, speak your desire in existence Jupiter in water signs or degrees: Watch your feelings, feel as if and don't let your feelings consume you eitherways. Beware of extreme delusion and mark a line on reality Jupiter in fire signs or degrees: Watch your actions and impulses, take inspired actions as needed, feel the excitement but don't get reckless or mindlessly impulsive. Know the line between what you feel like doing because of an intuitive nudge, and where you are being stupid or over faithful/risk taking.
btw paid readings are open:)
support me on ko-fi :) that's it. I hope I was able to help and this post brought some clarity. I hope you liked this post. All the best :)) i love you all <33
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