#navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate

[dogearedheart]

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter one: a new beginning

Pedro Pascal x F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and it slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, warnings may change as the story progresses. 

authors note: Hi everyone. This is my first time writing anything, so this might end up being pretty bad lmao. I kinda have an idea of where I want to take this and want to continue this even if no one reads it. Please let me know what you think! Thank you and enjoy. <3

chapter summary: Angie books y/n an audition opportunity and she is terrified. Y/n reflects on her insecurities and heads to the audition room. 

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

It was 9am and you’ve been staring at an email Angie had sent earlier in the morning. The subject read “AUDITION INFO BIATCH”. This would usually be deemed pretty unprofessional for an agent to send a client but Angie wasn’t just  your agent, she was also your long time best friend. You both had big dreams of making it big in Los Angeles and made the move six years ago. While you continued to search for acting jobs, Angie decided to become an agent after years of no luck. You wished you could give up, maybe gain some happiness back instead of having constant disappointment running around your head like it was trying to win a goddamn gold medal at the olympics. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Good morning sunshine, 

You have an audition scheduled for 3PM tomorrow! I attached all the details down below. If you need anything, give me a call babe! 

Sincerely, 

Angie Hawthorn (aka the best agent ever hehe) 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You read over the email and clicked on the files attached. One file was the original casting call information describing what they are looking for and a description of the project. The other was an audition offer explaining what you needed to prepare and where the audition would be held. You clicked on the casting call file and began to read it. 

“Fleeting Productions presents Risky Disco directed by Samual James.”

You stared blankly at the first sentence. “That is such a stupid fucking move title..” you huffed under your breath. You shook your head and continued reading. 

“Starring Pedro Pascal as Daniel Mendez. Daniel travels back in time to the 70s to live his dream of being a disco king. On his journey, he takes lovers every chance he gets and swears to himself that he won’t fall in love.” 

You picked your phone and called Angie. When she answers the phone she greets you with excitement.

“Y/n! Oh my god are you excited?!? This can be your big break. Your first audition for a big production company!!” You stared blankly at the wall while she spoke. “You’re fucking with me right? Like you have to actually be fucking with me..” You said with exasperation. She was silent for a moment. “What do you mean? This is great y/n. I’m not sure-” You cut her off before she could continue. “Angie, I need you to be so fucking for real right now. Did you read that shit show of a description?” She didn’t answer for a moment. “What’s so bad about it?” “Ang…you’re telling me, you saw this casting call, and thought of me? You have known me for how long? What about me is screaming 70s lover girl to a disco maniac? First of all, I'm fat. You know F A T. Fat girls don’t exist in the 70s it’s like-” The line goes dead. “Hello? Ang I’m trying to rant to you over here, don’t you care?” You looked down and noticed she hung up on you. “That stupid bitch.” You say in aggravation. As you go to call her again, a text pops up.

“Call me when you’re done being a self shaming loser <3”

You sighed and sat your phone down. You know that what you say isn’t always nice and you also know that Angie can’t stand when you talk down on yourself. It’s become a bad habit you can’t seem to break. You grab your water bottle from your night stand, take a sip, and continue to read over the audition information. 

“Our casting directors are looking for 12 women from the ages 35-40. All weights accepted. All skin tones accepted. One role will be filled as the leading lady alongside the leading male. The 11 other roles will be filled as lovers of the leading male. Each role may include sexual acts with a male actor as well as partial or full nudity. All actors will work closely with an intimacy coach before all scenes.” 

Okay, you definitely owe Angie an apology since they're throwing a weight limit out the window on this film. This film has the potential to be very… wait what the fuck does that say? You pick up your phone to call Angie again. 

“Are you done being a loser?” 

“Angie, honey, darling, my love…Why does it say that the age requirements are 35-40? I’m trying to be very calm about this right now but I really need to know what you were thinking in that little pea brain of yours? Hm.. a 24 year old auditioning for a role that is for a middle aged woman, what was the thought process behind that one love?” 

“Y/n I need you to keep that calm demeanor when I tell you this. Can you do that?” You think about your answer and sigh. “Yes I can do that. Spill the beans.” “Okay so, I might have sort of lied and said that you were 35…” You stood silent on the other end for a few seconds. “YOU DID WHAT???” “Y/n calm down it-” “HOW IN THE WORLD IS MY FRESH 24 YEAR OLD BABY FACE GOING TO PRETEND TO BE 35?? HUH ANGIE??” “Well you don’t have that much of a baby face, you can pull off 35.” “I’m gonna hang up now before I actually kick you in the head.” You hung up the phone and screamed into your pillow. 

It can’t be that hard to pretend to be 35 right? You sat up and set your head in your hands and took some deep breaths. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

After your mini freak out yesterday you went to work and got home at 8pm. You showered, ate, did some rehearsing, and hit the hay. You woke up at 7am the next morning and began getting ready for your audition. You searched pinterest to look for an appropriate outfit for a 35 year old. As you descaled your closet, you began to feel hopeless. After settling for an outfit, you headed to the kitchen to eat some breakfast and do some warmups. As it got closer to audition time, you started to feel the nervous butterflies entering your tummy. You took your phone off the charger to send Angie a quick text. 

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you yesterday, please forgive me my love. ♥ ️ Also OOTD, do I look 35? Oh and why the fuck are they casting that age for a disco movie… Love you!” You went to sit your phone down but immediately got a response from Angie. 

“It’s okay, you don’t look a day under 40 babe <3. And girl idk. I think it’s because Pedro is pushing 50.” 

“Okay fuck you. Who’s Pedro?” 

“Ummmm… the leading male. Like the whole ass dude you're probably going to be getting down and dirty with if you get this part. Did you not look him up?” 

“There ain’t no fucking way you lied about my age so I can bump and grind with a 50 year old man… I’m actually going to kill you.”

“Girl he’s hot as fuck, I’m doing you a favor. Who gives a shit if he's old, he can get it ANY day ;)” 

“You’re fucking gross dude. I gotta head out soon to try to beat a little bit of the traffic. Wish me luck. Love you!!”

“Love you girly, break a leg!”

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You turned into the studio lot and parked when you found the building the auditions were being held in. You’ve been to the studios more times than you can count, but this time felt different. This time felt real. You entered the building and walked up to a woman at a desk. “Hi, I’m here for an audition.” You smiled and she handed you a form to fill out. Once you were finished you handed it back to her and she instructed you to wait until your name was called. You looked around as you sat and waited. There were only 4 other women waiting in the room. As you looked at them, all of your insecurities started to pour out. This was not the time to be doubting yourself. You settled on looking down at your shoes instead. Each woman was called back one by one until you were the only one left. 

“Y/n Y/l/n?” You got up and greeted the man that called your name. As you followed him to the back your heart began to pound. Once you got to the door, you shook out your nerves and plastered the most sincere smile you could muster. 

You opened the door and walked up to a table in the back of the room. You shook everyone's hands and handed them your material. You stood in the center of the room and began your slate. After the prepared material was performed, they asked you various questions. You were answering with all honesty. Even flying by their questioning of your age. “Your paper states that you're 35. You look really young for that age.” You gulped “Just good genes I guess.” You gave them a laugh and a smile to which they returned. “We’re going to have to do a quick reading with some sides from the movie if that’s okay with you?” “Of course, that would be great!”.

You got into character as they handed you the slides. “You’ll actually be reading with the leading man himself. Pedro, whenever you’re ready go ahead and start.” You looked over to where the man looked when he spoke. Your breath caught in your throat as you looked at who they spoke to, Pedro you assumed. He smirked as you stared. How didn’t you notice him before? With a face that handsome, you’re thankful you somehow skipped over it. He for sure would have had you shaking with even more nerves. 

“You ready to start sweetheart?” You could have melted into a puddle right then and there. After a few seconds of silence you collected yourself. “Yea, I’m ready.” He gave you a smile and looked into your eyes. The two of you flowed through the lines with ease. It was like butter melting perfectly on a warm piece of toast. The type of toast that is so perfect, you don’t need to add jelly at all. It’s golden and beautiful. The chemistry between you two was golden. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

4 hours later…

The reading with Pedro was intense. There are no other words to describe it. Everything felt so natural and it was electric. The whole room got 10 degrees warmer by the end. Once the reading was over, everyone thanked you for your time and you were dismissed. You thanked them and gave a quick bye. You tried to sneak one last glance at Pedro but he was already looking at you. These memories that happened just a few hours prior keep swimming in your head. No matter how hard you tried to think about something else, you couldn’t stop thinking about the handsome man and how he looked at you.

You’re yanked out of your thoughts when your phone starts ringing. It was Angie. 

“Hey Ang, what’s up?” 

“Bitch….you must have left one hell of an impression.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Y/n you got the lead!” 

“Oh shit..” 

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝ 

Thank you for reading <3

chapter two

[thetravelingmaster]

Reasons Why you Should Check Out ROM

(readonlymind.com)

I've done a similar posts before for this site when I first joined up ROM as an author, but I feel like it deserves a little boost and some visibility out here as one of the many sites where one can enjoy erotic mind control literature. And also, because I'm a little selfish! I figure that if more people know about it, there's going to be more erotic stories to read.

Back when I joined, thanks to @arihi 's post on the matter during the 2018 tumblrapocalypse, I believe that there were barely 150 authors that published on the site, but as of today, that number has risen to 446. The list keeps growing and so does the variety of stories available.

Much like mcstories.com, the site is very easy to navigate and search through, even if you aren't 'logged in' as an author or reader. It offers us simple ways to search out and find the stories or authors we most want to read about. They've done an awesome job with the tag system so that regardless of which story you are reading, you can click on a tag to see what other stories that have the same theme.

It's a lot like a porn site actually, but for mind control themes.

And speaking of the tags...

The search function is rather advanced. Not only can you click a specific tag to see which stories have them, but you can also use the 'advanced search' to combine them and refine your search. You can add as many as you want to really find out if a specific theme is available. In fact you can also exclude tags to make sure you only get the stories you truly want.

Of course, when you do find a story you like, the author name will be a link to their page, which will list their stories as well as an introduction about themselves if they chose to add one. Since the site is all about open discussion, they accept self promotion so you can expect to find contact information on authors you like or even a link to other sites they post on.

Another very useful thing you'll find on their page, which I haven't seen on any other MC site before, is the 'story suggestion' link. There, you'll find all the stories the author recommends.

I've found that it's a great way to discover other authors because if you enjoy someone's writing, there's also a good chance you'll enjoy reading the stories they've enjoyed and recommended. Plus, if the author is so inclined, they can do more than just list off a bunch of stories, but also add a comment as to why they enjoyed it. I personally try to always add a little something to entice those that end up on my list.

Another feature I truly enjoy as an author is the fact that you can always go back an edit your stories because you always have full control of what is posted. Honestly, if I had discovered this before I opened up my own website, there would have been no need for me to do it. Although, I might have been a little disappointed about the fact I couldn't add the lovely images that inspire me so much... hehehe

But regardless, as an author that has many stories with many chapters, I've quickly discovered how easy it is to organize my stories because I can add a new chapter to an existing story, which is great because the reader doesn't have to look for previous chapters. Plus, you can add titles and even small descriptions to each, which will show up in the story index. In addition, you always get a word count for each chapter (or full story in the story list) so you know how long it should take you to get through it.

Speaking of readers, the site offers a little more than just a well organized and searchable site.

Well... If you register that is!

You don't have to post anything though, so registering is simply like creating an account. What you get for registering are a few fun bonuses like the ability to 'snap' a story you liked. Which is basically the equivalent of a 'like' here on tumblr. As an author, it's always a great inspiration to add chapters when I notice that one of my stories becomes popular and I know readers want more. It's also a great indicator for readers, as you well know!

Another bonus you get by registering is being able to comment on each chapter. I love the comments section because it not only gives me the ability to get feedback, but it also allows registered people to tag each other and reply to comments. As an added bonus, once you register, you get access to a notification page and if someone's replied or tagged you, you'll be notified there.

Speaking of notifications...

As an author, I get a bunch of notifications every time a user 'snaps' one of my stories, leaves a comment or recommends it to others. But as a reader, I can also 'follow' specific authors and be notified when ever they publish a new story or add a chapter to an existing one. But hey, that could be bothersome too so you ALSO have the option of just following ONE specific story so you are sure to know when the latest chapter drops. I'll admit, I use this option a lot!

Another option you may notice in the above image is the 'Read Later' option. I've used that as both a place to list off stories I like to read multiple times, as well as the obvious happenstance where I find a good one I want to read, but don't have the time.

As you ALSO may have notice, there are well known authors publishing their stories there too. @scifiscribbler, @jukeboxemcsa, @darthkyra, @ellaenchanting, @hypnoticharlequin and @skaetlett, to name a few you might know from tumblr.

If you can't get enough of reading MC stories, then this site will definitely help to feed your cravings. It's still relatively new and small when compared to others, but so far, it's proven its potential for growth.

The more the merrier

TM

[ericsprincess]

feel my breath on your neck

nc-17, smut, vampire!Hyunjae, cunnilingus, period sex

~~~

You get your period while fighting with your vampire boyfriend.

~~~

“For fucks sake, Hyunjae, how many times do I have to remind you to pick up your dirty clothes! I’m not your mom!”

“Y/N, I really don’t want to watch another reality tv, can we watch something else, for once? Ugh.”

“Could you, please, put your dirty bloody cups into the dishwasher? This must be a biohazard, you slob.”

“There is literally no space in the bathroom with all your cosmetics shit, it’s a bit too excessive, don’t you think? Who even needs so much? Jesus..”

And this was just the last 2 days. You hate to admit that, but these past few days were not easy on either of you, both separately and together. You are drowning in work deadlines, your coworkers are incompetent and your boss keeps adding you more responsibilities. You’re slacking off your workouts and that’s not only making you feel upset, but also the lack of physical activity is definitely having a detrimental effect on your mood. Which is already in gutters, because you’re definitely PMSing and in a shitty and snappy mood all the time. 

Hyunjae, on the other hand, while having it breezy in his job, has different problems. Not only are there some dumb political fights in his coven that he has to navigate, but what’s worse, his favorite fancy blood bag brand has an outage and so he had to delegate to cheaper, less tasty ones. Which for him, a picky eater par excellence, is pretty much the same as an actual torture, as he had been drinking this “iron-flavoured mud” for weeks at this point. \

And on top of that, your apartment looks like a pigsty because neither of you is feeling like cleaning. And also, there is barely any food. For you, that is. You are acutely aware that just your existence is like flaunting a prime steak in front of Hyunjae and telling him that he can’t have any of it. He can only sip on his great value blood bags, while looking at you, walking around like nothing is happening. Like he can’t sense your blood running through your body even from another room. 

You know you could offer him to drink from you, but since he’s been pissing you off, he can suffer. It’s not like it will harm him and if he were that desperate, he could always ask. And he’s not asking. Just staring really intensely. 

So both of you are hitting low, and it shows. You haven’t even had sex in a week and while you could really use some comfort and intimacy, as well as the release, you are not quite desperate enough to initiate, not when you’re somewhat in a fighting mood. You know this will pass, it always does, and one or both of you will cave and you will make up, but you’re not quite there yet. Today, Hyunjae can go to hell, for all it matters. 

And boy, are you going through it today. It’s already late evening when you finally came home, flinged your bag somewhere in the hallway and kicked off your shoes. You took a shower mostly with closed eyes and now you’re chilling on the couch with some makeshift dinner you made out of whatever you could find in the fridge, watching some dumb action movie. The lights in the living room are off, only the TV being a source of light and you’re swaddled in the blanket like a baby. Finally some rest. Your eyes are tired, your feet hurt and you’re already getting cramps, so you’re really glad you can rest for a bit. You have no idea where Hyunjae is, and frankly, you don’t care. 

You’re almost falling asleep when an explosion from the TV resonates through the room and wakes you up from dozing off. You sit up and look for the remote to turn the volume down when the bedroom door opens. 

“Could you please turn that shit down? I’m trying to take a nap here,” Well, here he is.

“I was already doing that, calm down,” you roll your eyes.  

“I would really appreciate it, if you were more considerate regarding the fact that you don’t live alone, Y/N,” Hyunjae grumbles. He looks like he wants to argue, but you are not in the mood to have a passive aggressive fight right now so you get up and try to pass through him to get to the bedroom. 

You’re just about to get past him when he suddenly grabs you by your arms. 

“You…” he whispers. 

“What? Let me go, I’m going to sleep,” you try to shake him off but he’s holding you in straight up iron grip. 

“Can’t you…can’t you feel it?” he presses, his whole demeanor a complete change from just a minute ago. His eyes are huge like saucers, and his voice is almost shaking. He’s still grabbing your arm, but how it feels more like he’s holding onto you.

“Feel what? I don’t get it, what’s going on? Hyunjae, you’re scaring me,” you ask with concern, not getting his sudden change in behavior. 

“The blood. You’re bleeding.” he replies impatiently, as if you were too slow to catch up on something that’s been obvious the whole time. 

“Am I?” you ask incredulously. Why is he so weird? You’re not injured or anything, except… You shift your weight. There is a dampness in your panties that haven’t been there a while ago. Oh.

“Oh,” you whisper. “Yeah, I guess I am…”

“You guess? I can smell it, Y/N,” he whines. “Can I..can I have it please?” he asks with a small voice. 

“Have it?” you ask, feigning a surprise, but you know what he wants. It’s not the first time he expressed a desire like that, but he has never been so desperate to ask for it so insistently. But you’re not the one to give up so easily. You could use an orgasm to help you with the cramps though.

“Don’t make me say it,” he pleads, looking borderline desperate. And that’s something you really like seeing on him.

“Oh you’re going to say it. If you won’t, you’re not getting anything,” you smirk. 

“Y/N..can I please eat you out? Please, I haven’t had a drop of normal blood in weeks and you smell so good… Please, don’t let it go to waste,” he begs, falling on his knees. He hugs you around your hips and looks like he’s fighting with himself to not rub his face all over your crotch to get more of the scent. 

“2 weeks of washing dishes and I get to choose what we watch, and it’s all yours,” you spit out. You’re not going to let the opportunity to get something out of it slide like that. 

“Deal,” he breathes out and lifts you just like that. He takes a few strides across the room and almost throws you on the bed with how in hurry he is. You reach to take off your sweatpants and underwear, but he’s already there, ripping it off you as if it personally offended him. 

It takes him just a few seconds before he’s straight up latched onto your pussy. His tongue licking all around, gathering all the blood that already leaked out of you, licking you clean. It’s hot and wet and his warm breath on you is arousing, as well as looking at how enthusiastic he is about this whole thing. You briefly think about how this should feel disgusting but it’s hard to think about it that way when he is so into it. And blood is a normal, daily encounter for him. 

He’s also not forgetting about your pleasure. It’s not like he’s just doing it for himself, but he’s really trying to get you off too, flattening his tongue to lick over your clit in broad strokes, until he slowly builds up the tempo so he can just flick over it. 

It feels really good and you’re getting there, but then, to your displeasure, he moves his tongue to your hole, pushing it as far as he can, chasing the blood and its taste. You whine and you’re considering grabbing him by his hair and moving him back to sucking your clit, but you decide it’s only fair. He can get the blood you promised. Especially since you can see him moving one hand down and taking out his cock, hard and leaking, so that he can jerk it off as he eats you out. 

“Y/N, this tastes so good,” his voice is muffled, since his face is pressed against your pussy. “This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted…Y/N, I’m gonna cum,”  Oh no. 

Now you really yank him off by his hair. He blinks at you, and oh what a sight - his pretty doll face, pale, with eyes glossed over and pupils dilated. His mouth and chin are both red and glistening with your blood and pussy juices. 

“Me first.” you growl at him, and he just nods, too dazed to protest and leans back down. He’s not playing anymore, licking over your clit as best and fast as he can, doing his best to get you off quickly.

You can feel it coming and you don’t want to prolong the wait either, so you let him make you come, your thighs squeezing his head hard, so he couldn’t breath even if he still had to. He continues until he can feel your orgasm fade, and then immediately moves back to tonguing at your hole, trying to get the most of the new blood and slick that gushed out of you when you came. 

You hear the sound of him frantically jerking off and you can even tell when he’s coming, as he’s almost sobbing with pleasure. He slumps down on the bed, completely tired and fucked out. 

“This was really great, thank you,” he wheezes, still catching his breath. “I could do this every day, it’s worth all the dishwashing duty you would bargain out of me.”

You poke his shoulder with a toe. Now that’s an idea. 

“Play your cards right and you can have a whole week of this.”

[bumblepony]

Tess Lives Fic Rec (No Outbreak Version)

Here are my Tess Lives fic recs in no particular order! These are all fics where no outbreak happens. I have a separate list of Tess in the QZ fics coming in the next couple of days.

Making Mirrors, a Tess/Joel Modern AU by @hypnotisedfireflies - A parallel universe to Drifters - the life lived had Cordyceps not conquered the world. - Mature

Tin Star, a Tess/Joel Western AU by @hypnotisedfireflies - The Sheriff and the Outlaw: sweethearts, bandits, soulmates. Magic horses. - Mature

Night Fever, a Tess/Joel 1970s AU by @hypnotisedfireflies - 1970s Bodyguard/Boss AU. - Mature

Of Artists and Architects by @emilylawsons - A Cordyceps-Free Tessjoel AU. - Mature

littlest digit, you've got the world by the handle by @ketchupchipsaregross - Ellie turns one surrounded by family.

smoke, ash, and strays by @ketchupchipsaregross - Joel (a firefighter) just wants to do his job and go home smelling like a campfire, it'd be great if the raccoon child from the alley would let him do that in peace.

dodors (and other birds) by @ketchupchipsaregross - How Tess and Joel accidentally restarted parenting in their 40s.

put it down in the pleasure of your company by Nyxierose on AO3 - "Normal functional people who live in mid-ring suburbs occasionally ask favors from people nearby and it’s not weird at all." Or, in which Tess gets into a lot more than she plans, but what else is new. - Mature

sweeter than sin by @raffinit - MODERN AU: Joel is a single dad of tweeny bopper Sarah. Tess is a single mom of teeny bopper Ellie. They've established a pretty comfy routine of being strictly fuck buddies. Until they're not. - Mature

the conjuring by @bradfordchens - Married demonologists Joel and Tess Miller hunt the supernatural together, all while raising two daughters.

we could walk forever, walkin' on the moon by @boopernatural - The one where Joel, Tess and Ellie take a family road trip to see a shuttle launch.

If I Had To Stay In A Haunted House With Anyone, It Would Always Be You by Steph_Puppet on AO3 - If someone had told Joel a few years back that he would end up traveling across the country with a self-proclaimed medium, sending ghosts back to where they belonged, he would not have believed them.

This section includes stories in which Tess is a Part of the story, but the story revolves more around a different pair's dynamic. So, Tess is more of a supporting cast member. These are still great stories, but Tess is just not a primary player.

a light in the dark of this danger (bookshop!au) by @two-birds-alone-together - The Bookshop AU! Joel Miller owns The Back Shelf, a bookstore located in Back Bay. He has no idea that his life is going to change when a girl walks into the store on an oppressively hot Boston day.

Ellie Williams' Guide to Teenage Rebellion by @simoncowellstits - Ellie is the president's Daughter, and Joel is her secret service agent.

Right Where We Belong by cauldron_zeta on AO3 - Frank has upheaved his life to move to almost the middle of nowhere. His closest neighbour isn't really a people person but Frank has always liked a challenge. - Mature

Compassionate Friends by @mildredellie - Ellie & Joel meet at a grief support group they were both forced to attend.

move so quickly (it can't catch me) by @howtotrainyourdoofus - Ellie navigating her first job as a professional ballet dancer and all the joys and strife that come with it.

Stubborn Love by @renegadeknight - Your favorite feral father-daughter duo repackaged, now with 95% less zombies and 99% more modern problems (golfing isn’t one of them)

world around you by @boopernatural - Joel's first date in two decades gets interrupted when his kid needs him.

To Have Loved Someone by Joels_revolver on AO3 - On her way back to Jackson, Ellie is teleport into a world where the cordyceps doesn't exist and Joel is very much alive.

At the end here, I am adding a few authors who have written so many good Tess Lives stories it's best to just go pursue their AO3 pages.

tessaservopoulos - @bradfordchens on Tumblr - Mature

Glitter_Gecko - @seethesunny on Tumblr - Mature

sillylily07 - Mature

Last, I am going to add my Tess Lives fics under the cut because I really am not trying to toot my own horn, but I want to have them on the list so I can have them all in one place.

Fate Makes Fools of Us All - Tess is Ellie's foster mom AU. - Mature

A Soul For Sale Or Rent - Ellie is a Ghost, and Joel is the only one who can see her. She needs his help to figure out what happened to her before it's too late.

In Another Time and Another Place - Joel and Tess meet at a bar in an Alternate Universe where the Cordyceps Outbreak never happens. - Mature

Ashes denote that Fire was - Behind Closed Doors - The Firefighter Joel Miller AU that only a few people asked for and I just had to write it. - Mature

Construction Corner with Joel Miller - Joel has his own TV Show on HGTV and Ellie is a foster kid who comes on as a helper and things progress from there.

And Baby Boy Makes Four - An AU where no apocalypse happens, and Joel has two kids with his ex-wife, Sarah, and a son called Junior.

[maxwell-grant]

Any thoughts on She-Hulk?

I like her a lot. I don't really like most of her solo comics that I've read (I think some of her most celebrated runs have aged abysmally), but I like her as a character enough that this doesn't sour me on her and there are several that I've enjoyed. One of those characters that I'm just really glad exists and you can get a lot out of in supporting roles, she adds a really unique, wonderful texture to the world. I think it's great that her baseline is dealing with the flipside of the Hulk's problems: she can keep her life and strength and rage under control and have a good public image and non-adversarial relationships with superhero society, which means she has things to fight for much more complicated than survival and supervillains out to get her.

She was once a mousy disrespected nerd too, except her freak accident alter-ego turned her into a charismatic hot jade goddess who can hold a steady job and crack zingers for the camera while saving the world and is thus expected to do all of those things and more at once, all of which means she has many more things to juggle and lose than the Hulk has at any given moment. He deals with big huge singular problems while she deals with clusters of irritating little problems that accumulate to break her down. Much like Wonder Woman, she is burdened with standards of perfection that do not exist for her male contemporaries, except in her case, she has to overcompensate not just to overcome barriers of misogny, but also being a good, ethical working person in a world of dysfunctional assholes and self-destructive monsters, not helped by her proximity to the biggest of them all.

She has responsabilities and bosses and ethical/social dilemmas to navigate as a superhero, as a woman and as a lawyer that she can't solve with smashing them into leaving her alone or with separating her life under different personas. She has to deal with Frog-Men and continuity gods and interpersonal superhero drama and cases that no laws have even been written for and all these bullshit Seinfeld problems, because unlike Deadpool and other comedic superhero characters she actually has adult responsabilities to contend with. And she does, and she makes time to party and have fun and go out with friends and training with fellow bruisers and running maintenance errands on the world whether it's to help the Fantastic Four out of a jam or deal with a college friend's divorce hearing. I do think she has a very versatile gimmick as a superhero lawyer (not the same as a superhero who is a lawyer) who gets stuck with the shit job of dealing with the kinds of messes that other characters get to resolve off screen, that she has to deal with all kinds of embarassing and weird things and the less-glorious aspects of superhero life. There is a lot that you can get away with in She-Hulk comics because Jen is a fun character to have dealing with problems.

I do think she's kinda in a difficult tight rope act as a character, because her thing involves dealing with a lot of superhero things that break immersion if you poke at them too closely, but she can't really do anything to affect or attack them (because she's an integral supporting character in the larger Marvel Universe and one of the few Marvel superheroes who isn't some kind of dysfunctional asshole) or be a full-on parody character, she can't sit in the same liminal joke space Deadpool and Squirrel Girl thrive in, and her set-up also makes it hard to do anything too dramatic or dark or weird with her, anything that's too "Hulk" feels out of place and misguided. She's a permanent B-lister that spends her time frustrated by the D/Z-listers that flock around her and hanging around the A-listers that generally have more interesting things to do.

Of course Jen does tag along on those things and those Avengers trips to save the world, but those are never really about her or involving her in a fashion that needs her and not some other person who can punch good. She is always going to be kind of a niche character which sorta limits her from being as big as she could otherwise be. But I think her niche is a really good one and one that needs to be around and adds a lot to the larger Marvel universe, and Jen is such a fun character that it's always great to see her show up in something. Big fan.

Sucks that she's one of the worst characters in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3 though and that she never got to destroy Deadpool in MvC4 because there was no such thing, but I have seen more people play as her recently and even pull some wins with her even outside ratio tournaments, and at least they ended the series on a high note with Ultimate and never did anything ever again ever.

[besaya-glantaya]

While the previous exorcism was fairly sucessful, new brain gremlins appear with repeated rewatches. So, here's another incomplete list of my rambling thoughts and favourite moments from the Red White and Royal Blue movie:

1. Breaking doors down to get a wedding cake through - actually a thing that happened. Well, almost. Prince William and Kate Middleton's gigantic 8-tier wedding cake was so large a palace door had to be removed to allow it through. Apparently the Queen was "unimpressed".

2. Henry snubbing Alex in the reception line at the wedding is hilarious. Way to ensure Alex doesn't fixate on you for the whole party, Henry. A+ job.

3. Alex drunkly navigating the wedding reception, swiping drinks, petting rich people and hiding foul smelling canapés behind furniture. Adorably comedic.

4. HeNnrrYyy!

5. Aww. I wanna see pictures of Jonathan the Shih Tzu too.

6. Shaan's scathingly dry wit is everything - I can see why he's such a great match for Zahra.

7. "No-one is more mystified than I" is another phrase I am stealing for people who exist purely to vex me.

8. Shaan shoving Alex bodily through the low hanging branches of a chestnut tree to stand beside Henry for a photo op. That had to be at least partially improvised on location.

9. Dogs in jumpers. This must be some British thing that I have simply failed to notice. Is this a thing Americans associate with the UK?

10. The ridiculously small child's costume that Alex is wearing for the puppet show in the hospital.

11. Alex saying "WRONG!"

12. Henry, on the phone, opening with "Good God, man, what have you done?" Honestly, is there any other response when your crush sends you a picture of a caged turkey, in their bedroom, in the small hours of the morning?

13. Nora strutting into the NYE party in that head turning, jaw dropping, red outfit. Stunning.

14. Henry's face after Alex tells him he's going to do "very bad things to him". Every single fantasy he's ever had about him and Alex is flashing rapid-fire through his brain and he just... overloads a lil' bit. Error code 54 [NETWORK_BUSY].

15. The emotional connection between Alex and Henry when they are making love in Paris. The eye contact, the unspoken communication. Ugh. Hats off to all involved - especially Robbie Taylor, the movie's intimacy coordinator - for creating this scene.

16. Alex, talking about being someone his father never had: "You can't know what that means." Henry responding with a heartfelt "I'm learning". Just... yes. All the yes.

17. In the mood for love might be one of the swooniest movies of all time, but it's heartbreakingly sad. It's a doomed romance - two people who are irrevocably in love but can't be together, trapped as they are by the pressures of societal expectations and their own psychological barriers. That this is a version of romance that Henry holds dear is telling and painful to think about.

18. Alex's bloodshot eyes when he's laying on his bed with Nora, hugging that cushion for dear life, pining hard for Henry. Did they do that scene after another intense emotional one? Were there lots of other teary takes of that same scene? Did they rub onions in Taylor's eyes? I need to know.

19. I often think that the core of who we are as teenagers - our hopes, our desires, the things we cherish - are the beings we settle back into as older adults after we're done trying to fit in or live up to other people's expectations. One of Alex's greatest gifts is helping Henry to reach out and reclaim those seemingly distant hopes and dreams. To dance with the person he loves, in a place of beauty that brings him peace.

20. I love the Perfume Genius cover of "Can't help falling in love". It hits you squarely in the feels.

21. God, the casting of this movie was a stroke of genius. Taylor and Nicholas truly become Alex and Henry on screen.

22. On the private air-field: Henry's little overwhelmed smile when Alex squeezes him in the tightest hug and tells him, "I love you, I'll be as patient as you need."

23. Immediately after 22, Alex leaning in for a kiss goodbye but pulling back quickly as he reads Henry's discomfort. Alex might not always understand Henry's reasons but (if he's paying attention), he's so very good at reading Henry's needs and responding to them.

24. In the aftermath of the email leak, Alex has been "hanging in there" - he's had people supporting him, with agency over how to respond. But Henry is understandably not OK - he's been put back in his box, and the Firm has taken over in all matters. There's one scene where you can see Henry shrinking, literally making himself take up less space at the table.  Poor baby.

25. Zahra to the rescue. Truly the MVP.

[slowd1ving]

UNFORTUNATE BACKUP・゜ MIGUEL O'HARA NSFW

It's just you against fate. Unfortunately, it's hell-bent towards pairing you with the most annoying person in existence ever. Medical Researcher/Field Doctor reader, GN but he is used exactly 1 time warnings: nsfw, violence, tension (resolved), degradation wrote this for my friend a while back so it's not my usual style ;; lowkey clueless abt medical stuff so I'm sorry if that's obvious... this would've done numbers here if I actually posted this when itsv came out but as you can tell I just could not be asked if you've seen this before, it was posted to ao3 like a year ago by yours truly!!! wc: 7.5k

MISC. MASTERLIST . 　⁺ MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

Maybe it’s fate playing a silly little prank on you when you don’t see Jessica waiting for you at the abandoned Alchemax you’re investigating. Maybe she’s late? You shift from side to side, wishing you brought your insulating suit to combat the frigid wind sweeping through the clearing where you stand. 

“Jess?” you hesitantly call out, even though you know it’s utterly foolish to do so when you haven’t even surveyed the surroundings. You can’t help but feel a pang of worry at her absence; it’s only the rustling leaves that answer your call. 

“You’re late.” it’s not Jessica’s voice that sounds out from the shadows of the Alchemax entrance. As your eyes struggle to make out who exactly spoke, he steps out into the weak rays of sun. It’s… Miguel? What the fuck is he doing here? Rarely do you ever see him, since the medical research facility is practically a gazillion miles away from his office-cave. 

“Sorry,” you try to inject some sincerity into your tone since he’s your superior, but it’s proving difficult when you’re literally on time . You slowly push open the creaky revolving door (which is ridiculously heavy, but you refuse to let him see your struggle). 

“While you were taking your sweet time,” Miguel pauses to shoulder the door open with practised ease, ignoring your exasperated sigh. “I already surveyed the building for you.” 

Literally nobody asked. You bite back the retort, feeling your face contort into a very impolite expression. Don’t lose your job. 

“Thank you,” you force out, surveying the entrance hall with a critical eye and an infrared detector scope. No signs of biological life here, it seems. It’s unusually quiet; normally these facilities are crawling with anomalies and other beings, which is why this is a job for two. 

“Where’s Jessica?” you ask offhandedly, following Miguel up the emergency stairs. You don’t want to make conversation with this standoffish man, but anything beats the very awkward feeling in the air. “Have you kidnapped her or something?” 

“A comedian,” you can hear him mutter under his breath in annoyance. He doesn’t turn to face you. “She sent me to work with you, since she had something urgent come up back in her home world.”

So she hasn’t just left you for the fun of it. Cool. You don’t say anything in response, choosing to run the objectives of your mission through your mind instead. Find the DNA lab, grab some spider-DNA, then do the same in the pathogen department. Back at base, they’ll be used to drive forward immunity research you’ve been conducting with your colleague. 

“The first stop is here,” Miguel informs you curtly, pointing to the frosted glass door in the middle of the corridor. You wordlessly move to gather your specimens, noting how the room is unexpectedly in great condition. The samples are all fresh too, dating only a month back. Great. It’s unusual, but you’ll take it. It’s the same with the virus specimens you’ve managed to get - the Alchemax was probably abandoned very recently. 

“Done,” you don’t see the point in trying to be amiable when Miguel clearly isn’t. We’re never going to be buddies. 

It’s a very pleasant week that flies past without you seeing him. Even though you’re permanently part of the team, you’re rarely ever assigned an active combat mission since you’re one of the few medics available in the facility. Seriously, why are there so few medical Spiders? Regardless, your line of work means that you won’t be in contact with Miguel any time soon. Or so you hope. But fate likes its silly little jokes. 

“They sent you for backup?” the question flies out of Miguel’s mouth when you step out of the portal into the dimly lit streets of Earth-152. A symphony of police sirens and rain splashing onto the pavement is heard in the background; it’s a fitting orchestra for this annoying scene. 

“Is there a problem?” your fist clenches around the strap of your medic bag as you fight to keep your frustration at a simmer. It’s not often that you’re called in for backup to tackle such a large-scale anomaly (see: never ), but you’re good with combat and injuries. Objectively, you’re an exemplary ally to have when fighting - is this fool denying that? “Or can I do my job?”

“He’s just worried because it’s a big operation,” Jess interjects from behind you. What a relief. She elbows him from where she sits astride her motorcycle, looking pointedly at him. “ Aren’t you?”

He doesn’t say anything as he turns to look at his wristband, which currently projects what appears to be a map of the area. You ignore the slight, turning to face Jess with your brows furrowed. “Any updates?” 

“The target should be appearing within the next few minutes,” she quickly pulls up her own projections to show you a blurry photo of the target. “We’re capturing him alive and heading back to headquarters. Target’s particularly strong, so be careful.”

“Right,” your affirmation is interrupted by incessant red blinking from the map hologram. Your breath catches in your throat at the tantalising prospect of finally fighting. Two streets away. You follow Jess out of the alleyway into the blaring lights of the city, feeling the neon lights soak into your very being . Warm summer rain sluices away all your wariness before your webs propel you to the side of a glass skyscraper. 

The target’s nowhere to be found on the roof of the building he’s supposed to be on. Frustration makes itself palpable in the air and you can’t help but feel the dawning horror of apprehension. What’s going on? 

“Ambush!” your mouth forms the warning just as you spot several clones of the target emerging on the roof of the building. You’re not sure if Miguel or Jess heard your cry of shock, but you can’t check on either of them as the clones of the target start surrounding you. You can’t afford that; your webs are laced with a potent tranquilizer that makes quick work of those in your immediate vicinity. It’s not enough - the hordes that emerge from your peripherals are surrounding you anyway. 

“I’ll take care of these,” Jess’ motorcycle makes quick work of a good portion of the clones - they disintegrate pretty rapidly when hit with the heavy vehicle. “Miguel’s on track to find the main body. It’ll go faster if you also look for it.”

“Right,” you know Jess will be fine; her motorcycle and quick wits will let her tackle this crowd with ease. Find the main body. Your gut tells you it’s not going to be far away. In fact, your senses are urging you to check out the derelict factory a few blocks away. And who are you to ignore them? 

“Where are you, where are you,” you mumble to yourself as you swing towards the building. Its imposing structure almost halts you in your tracks, but you know something is lurking within. The angry clouds swirling above don’t make the situation any less menacing, but you ignore the unfortunate weather. No use in shaking in your boots because of some clouds.  

Luckily, there’s a row of windows in the shadows of the factory by the roof; it’s an easy objective to lithely creep up the side of the building. There. Concealed within the shadows of rusty machinery is your target, leaning against the wall in a too-casual manner. Before he can spot you, you crawl down until you’re not in view - there, you immediately fire out a call to Miguel from your watch. It’s the first time you’ve ever done so, but the situation calls for it. 

“What do you want?” his little hologram’s mask is indented with a sharp annoyance. You should’ve just handled this yourself. 

“I’ve found the target,” you retort with whatever venom you can muster. The two of you are colleagues, for fuck’s sake; there’s no use dismissing others like that in the first place. “You can see my location, right?”

“I’ll be there as soon as I finish off this one,” from what you can see, he appears to be fighting a different enemy, judging from the sharp slashing you can faintly make in the background. “Stay exactly where you are until I arrive. Don’t engage in combat.”

“Sure, sarge,” you end the call with your annoyance slowly brimming over the edge. Who knows how long it’ll be before he finishes off that other enemy? You peer back into the factory, intending to continue your little reconnaissance. Your blood runs cold at the view down below. There’s nobody there, not a whisper of a soul down in the depths of those shadows. 

“Looking for me?” you almost jump out of your skin when a cheerful voice calls out from below. It’s the target, who’s somehow managed to make his way to the side of the factory you’re currently balanced on. 

“Don’t do that,” you spring down to the ground so you can come face to face with the target, clutching your bag to your side. The orders not to engage are still fresh in your mind, but you can’t exactly ignore the situation, can you?

“So, uh,” you begin, noticing the way he leans into the space between you two slightly. Diffuse the situation. Stay calm. His suit is almost as dark as the night itself, and it catches your eye with how it thrums like shaken ink. “Any chance you’ll give up peacefully?”

You already know the answer when he laughs mirthfully, with his head thrown back in sharp amusement. You can almost taste the forceful no that’s about to leave his lips. 

“You’re funny,” his razor-edged smile lacks any sort of laughter as he regains his composure. You brace yourself. “But no.”

And you’re ready, ready for the swift kick that comes flying your way. You easily move out of the way, while quickly slinging a web his way - it only scrapes by his upper arm, unfortunately, but it still has the potential to affect him somewhat. Concentrate. The fight will only last a few minutes at worst; it’s absolutely crucial to keep a clear mind. 

You alternate between throwing calculated jabs and webs designed to trap opponents to create a perfect feint and secure yourself an opening. One second. One second to carefully strike a tranquilizer web directly at the shirt under his suit. You don’t want to touch whatever makes up that shifting suit. What is it?

That question is answered immediately as clones start emerging from its shadows. Shit. You can see why the guy’s taking so long to be captured; it’s incredibly troublesome when he’s got a whole legion of clones available. 

You don’t hesitate. 

Steeling yourself, you fire a tranquilizer web straight at him while sending a kick to his side so he evades it right into your line of fire. The web lands on his cheek, which is an excellent target for the tranquilizer to work its wondrous magic. He’s out cold within a second or so. Perfect . It leaves you with plenty of time to ponder how you’re going to explain to Miguel that you’ve (unintentionally!) disobeyed orders within the humongous timespan of ten seconds. 

He doesn’t keep you waiting long. 

“What did you think I meant when I said to not engage?” Miguel’s annoyance seeps into the air when he sees you standing over the unconscious clone-man. 

“It was self-defense,” you argue, holding your hands up in mock-surrender. He’s clearly sceptical with the way his eyes swivel from the knocked-out target on the floor back to you. “Play it back on the watch!”

“Jessica, he’s been apprehended,” Miguel speaks into his watch briefly, before putting his arm back down. It's an uncomfortable feeling; you don’t think you’ve ever been the subject of such an intense, scrutinising glare. 

“You did take out the trouble,” he finally admits grudgingly; it feels like somewhat of an accomplishment. Somewhat. “Do a better job of following orders next time.”

You fight the urge to mutter expletives under your breath. 

It’s the same song and dance for the next month; fate can’t help but assign you as backup to Miguel’s missions, though it’s strictly limited to medic duties in case someone fucks up. It’s unpleasant - his criticisms of your actions slowly wear down your absolutely bottomless patience like coarse-grit sandpaper pretty quickly. 

You wouldn’t call the next mission a fuck up; it can only really be described as an absolute calamity when you step out into the mayhem. It’s an incessant cacophony of blaring sirens and pure carnage - from what you can gather, a gaping abyss is swallowing the buildings above where it’s situated. It’s a disaster. 

It’s not really a surprise then, when Miguel forces his way onto the hologram projection on your watch to move you elsewhere, your nerves are frayed. 

“Shut the fuck up,” you spit out, scribbling out a list of equipment for an unfortunate intern to bring from the medical facility. You pray what you carry is enough to quench the insatiable hunger of injuries. “Let me do my goddamn job for once.”

You hang up; etiquette be damned in this haze of smoke and debris. Thankfully, there’s no fatalities recorded after the sinkhole is stabilised. On the other hand, the infirmary is going to be very lively for the next week. The movement of your hands can only be described as frenzied with how efficiently you patch up the countless injuries on site - there’s an ever growing mountain of sanguine gauze building up beside you. 

It’s only a few hours later that you’re finally allowed a reprieve. You trudge back to the medical facility where one of your few colleagues who’s actually finished training is running around haggardly to care for the incoming patients. 

“Can you patch up O’Hara?” he nervously asks you, while you feel your bones wither away. You meet his pleading gaze impassively. “He’s been refusing medical treatment from any of the available interns, and you’re the only one who doesn’t crack under that pressure.”

You want to say no. Your mind’s practically begging you to refuse so you can have him out of mind for some time. But looking upon that pathetically pitiful countenance of your colleague, your resolve softens. This man will wilt like a goddamn cabbage if Miguel so much as exhales sharply. 

“Fine,” you concede with a look of defeat; it’s almost horrendous with how quickly he beams at you. 

“After, your shift’s over,” he calls out after you as you grab some ointment, gauze and other essentials. You’re unclear as to how Miguel was injured exactly, but your gut tells you it’s probably just some shallow injuries if he hasn’t been coerced by Jess into coming to the infirmary. Just do the job. You should’ve kept your Spidersuit on below your regular clothes; yet the prospect of sinking into bed right after you treat your last patient far outweighs the vulnerability you feel. 

It’s not exactly a short walk to where Miguel’s room is situated, but the concept of time is one that’s chased away by the sinking feeling in your stomach. It goes by too fast. You really should’ve just refused. Here goes nothing.

Surely you’ll be turned away immediately after you knock? Surely you’ll be able to go back to your own room and forget this ever happened? Surely fate will smile down upon you for once?

Fate truly is a fickle being. 

Your knock on his door is almost immediately answered by an exasperated “ Come in.” You suppress your own exasperated groan as you recognize Miguel’s voice. Cradling the bag of medical supplies in your arm, you shove the door open with your shoulder. It’s dark - which you’d expect - but it still takes a while for your eyes to adjust to the sight-

Rapid heartbeats resound in the back of your head as you make out Miguel’s dim figure sitting on the edge of his bed. His suit is rolled up around his waist, leaving his torso completely bare. Your blood is practically beating up your veins with how quickly it races around your body. What the everloving fuck . The resounding question you have is answered by the dim glow of a syringe in his hands - it’s not exactly a secret that Miguel’s not just a human bitten by a radioactive spider, but it’s the first time you’ve ever witnessed a tangible instant of it.

“It’s you,” he doesn’t move to cover up with a scandalous gasp, but rather stares you down impassively. Who was he expecting? “What do you want?”

“To dress those wounds like I’ve been told to,” you stare right back at him, refusing to let your eyes be cowed into avoiding that gaze. You don’t budge, you don’t shift from foot to foot; your stance is staunchly planted onto the floor of his room. You can faintly see some nasty-looking gashes that look like they were caused by debris, as well as shallow lacerations that were undoubtedly made by a weapon. 

“I’m fine,” he dismisses you, but you can see the shiny skin surrounding some of the injuries. You can’t even feel the resentment that you would normally - if that becomes infected, it’s not your problem. 

“Those might get infected,” you point out, though you don’t really know what’s prompting you to argue in favour of spending more time with him. “I’ll be done in less than ten minutes.”

You suppose that noncommittal grunt is a concession to your superior logic. He stares at you wordlessly as you approach him; he’s rarely ever seen you without your mask and suit, you realise. Silence. Well, it would be silent if it weren’t for your heart desperately pounding away, so much so that you swear even he can hear it. You carefully put your bag down onto the floor. 

He doesn’t hiss or pull away as the antiseptic-covered cloth runs over the gashes; the imperceptible stare that’s on you is disconcerting, to say the very least. He’s cold to touch, even through the thin disposable gloves you’ve donned. It doesn’t fully hit you that you’re touching Miguel’s shoulders and upper chest without getting your head bitten off. Absolutely shocking. 

Those gashes beneath his collarbone aren’t as nasty as they looked underneath all the dried blood - he’s not going to need any stitches, so you can just slap gauze and medical tape over those bad boys and let the platelets do their job. It’s getting increasingly hard to concentrate on the next set of injuries when you can feel the warm air of his breathing near your neck. Shit . Your eyes hone in on what your hands are doing; it’s not enough to distract you from his burning gaze on you. 

“The front’s done,” you pull back, only now noticing you’ve been standing between his goddamn legs . It’s a miracle your voice doesn’t shake at the revelation, but you’re sure that he can hear the deafening way your heart is beating. Say something.  Anything. The silence is all too unnerving. 

“There’s some cuts on my back as well,” he finally says after you’ve surveyed your work and start opening your bag to find the bio-waste disposal bags. You pause. You suppress the urge to rub your hands together maniacally. 

“Alright, turn around,” you laugh internally at the absurdity of the situation - he does nothing but spout frustration at you, yet there are no complaints or criticisms escaping him as he turns around obediently. It’s not a full turn; the angle of his turned back invites you to take a seat beside him on the mattress. Woah there. 

You wait a second or so before realising that, yes, he’s waiting for you to sit down and isn’t actually going to bite your head off for doing so. It’s extremely surreal to sink into the firm mattress beside him; you doubt anyone’s made it this far in this goddamn cave . It’s even more surreal feeling the wisps of body heat brushing against you from the thighs still covered in his Spidersuit: a sharp contrast to his cool torso. 

Be professional. Your eyes skim over the various scrapes littering his shoulders, and fortunately, all of them just need a quick wipedown and a plaster. It’s a lot easier to daub the antiseptic on without his gaze on him; that is, until you become slightly enraptured by the way his muscles tense (almost imperceptibly) at the sting of the antiseptic. You’re not as smooth as you wish, fumbling the packet of plasters while you revel in the fact his gaze is elsewhere. 

“Almost done,” you reassure him after he tenses up slightly after you brush your fingers over your handiwork on his lower spine. Can he feel the way your pulse is absolutely electrified right now? You don’t even like him, but the proximity might just send you into cardiac arrest. 

“It’s fine,” his tone is slightly strained. You raise your eyebrows, but ultimately ignore it in favour of patching up those last few cuts. 

“Done,” you try not to sound too regretful. You hate the way your heart’s beating more and more rapidly; it takes everything in you to quickly gather your materials and stand up from the bed.  

“Thanks,” the begrudging gratitude that comes out from him forces you to look back at him wordlessly. You take the time to search his face with your eyes, noting the slight sheen of sweat on his face. Is he…

“Are you running a fever?” the question escapes your lips as you move closer, whilst the medical supplies are unceremoniously dumped onto a side table. Your hand carefully places itself on his forehead (paying no heed to the very close proximity of his teeth). There’s no actual heat radiating from him, but the way he’s currently looking at you with that half-lidded gaze is making you feel like the delirious one. Why isn’t he saying anything?  

Say something.

The back of your hand slowly moves away from his face, but you freeze as your wrist is grasped by his hand. What is he… His skin is cold, but the prickles left behind on your wrist are burning and spreading all over your body. You’re not breathing; you’re waiting for his next move. 

“You are so frustrating,” he says through gritted teeth - though it lacks any of the usual bite that’s present. He speaks! You can feel his little angry exhale on your hand from where he’s holding it near his face. You still haven’t moved away, instead choosing to observe the way his facial muscles contort into an expression of fervid displeasure. “To think you’d have such an effect..”

The last part is muttered under his breath, as if you weren’t the intended recipient, but you hear it clear as day. What effect? The heavy implication creeps up inside your mind; it wriggles its way through the cracks in your composure. Surely he didn’t mean it that way, right? Surely you’re just annoying? You can feel your breathing get more shallow as his gaze flickers back up to your face - it searches ravenously, focusing on each feature as if it were a long awaited oasis in the arid desert. 

His hand lets go carefully - it’s so unlike his usual brash movements that you almost laugh. Yet, once you’re free from his hold, you don’t make any move to leave again; it’s truly a strange magnetic effect you’re enveloped in. The carmine glow of monitors in the corner of the room is the only weak illumination in the room (it’s making the situation feel way too intimate in your opinion). 

“Do you want me to stay?” your words escape your lips in a hushed voice. You can’t help but feel the addictive thrum of confidence pulse through your veins, your very capillaries . Maybe the unidentifiable emotion roiling within his eyes isn’t an avid dislike of you? You don’t know why you offered. You’re not sure if you even want to know. Still, you can’t help but feel prickles of curiosity at whatever’s making him so flustered. 

Do you know the implications of your offer?

“Do I want you to stay..” his repetition of your question might’ve seemed mocking at any other time, yet the unusual hushed cadence begs to differ. Anticipation. That’s what’s keeping you rooted in place for fear of disturbing this unfolding scene. You’ve never seen him like this - it’s a delicate balance your heart is begging for you not to destroy. 

“After I let you put your hands all over me, and you’re asking if I want you to stay?” he leans slightly closer towards you - you’re extremely glad he’s still sitting and not absolutely looming over you like the tower he is. You can feel your erratic heartbeat pulsate through your entire being at his words. It’s getting incredibly hard to think when anticipation in your stomach gives in to the rising swell of desire. 

“You’re yet to be put in your place, and you’re asking if I want you to stay?” you feel a shiver run through your body at his proximity, yet you’re the one leaning into him now. You’re so close you can feel his breath fan over your neck; it’s the only part of his body that’s remotely warm, so much so that it’s absolutely scorching you. Or maybe it’s the white-hot blood you can feel blossoming on your face. 

His cold hand ghosts over your chin, tilting your face down with nothing more than a brush of his thumb. Please. Your breath catches in your throat as you watch the muscles of his face contort into a slight smile. 

“Do you want this?” his brows furrow slightly. A question. Your veins already thrum with the answer. 

“ Yes ,” you respond, feeling both your brain and heart work together to cheer you on for once. This better not be a dream . You can see the flash of teeth as he smiles, before you’re roughly pulled onto his lap. It’s actually comfortable to straddle his thighs, you note, but you can’t exactly focus on that anymore when he draws you into a searing kiss. 

He tastes of the coppery tang of blood. It’s the first thing you notice as he slots his mouth against yours. The second thing you notice is how impatient he is, probing at your lip with his fangs while simultaneously pressing you up closer and closer until you’re practically melting into him. You don’t miss a beat; you snake your hands into his hair until they’re buried in the thick brown waves. Your fingers slightly pull at the back, and he lets out a small groan into your mouth at the sensation. 

Sharp fangs graze your lower lip ever so slightly, but the pain is immediately alleviated by his tongue running over the cut. He’s sucking on it - evidently, there’s some blood left behind (or maybe even traces of the venom coursing through those fangs). His little pleased hum reverberates within you; you find yourself being flustered more by that than the way he’s rubbing circles into your thigh with his thumb. 

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this,” he says in a low voice after the two of you pull apart for air. The string of saliva connecting your lips to his is tinted a rich sanguine; the bridge linking the two of you is entrancing, right before it breaks. His words set your very veins ablaze. 

“ Please ,” you don’t even know what you’re pleading for , only that the pace is far too slow for your liking. It seems he feels the same way, since his face dips lower so his mouth can settle on your neck. He’s careful not to fully sink his teeth into your skin, instead choosing to lightly skim them over your pulse points to elicit small gasps out of you. Your hands grasp and twist so he’s pressed closer and closer into you. It’s strange - you never thought that he’d be the one to coax such a reaction out of you. 

“Desperate, aren’t we?” you can feel the infuriating bastard curl his lips upwards as he sucks marks you know aren’t going to fade for days into the side of your neck. The mocking lilt of his question makes all the blood rush straight down - it’s unfair how unbearable he’s being. Your nails are no doubt leaving marks of their own as you let your hands roam the vast expanse of his back. 

Almost involuntarily, your hips move to gain a semblance of any relief, any friction, but the firm grip of his hand on your thigh prevents you from doing even that. You hiss as his sharp nails dig into the skin (if you get tetanus you’re officially suing). 

“What a pathetic little slut,” he coos into your ear; he can definitely hear the way your breath hitches at his harsh tone. You can’t even bring yourself to respond. “Getting turned on from a few kisses?” 

Fuck . 

You can’t even deny it; instead, you turn your head to the side as if you can escape his prying eyes with your embarrassment. It’s futile. You know he can feel your racing pulse against his lips as he once again presses them to the side of your jaw to coax small sounds out of you. 

“I bet you could get off with just my thigh like the filth you are,” his words drip condescendingly, but you can barely hear him over the pounding heartbeat in the back of your head. You furiously bite back the whine that’s emerging from your throat from his fleeting touches. “Will you?” 

“Fuck, Miguel,” you choke out as he moves one of his legs away so you’re completely pressed against his thigh. 

“Get yourself off,” he utters, seemingly bored, but you both know he’s anything but from the way his eyes gaze intently at you. “But first..”

A quick, experimental swipe of his claw-like nails leaves your plain shirt neatly cleaved in two. So impatient . You can’t say that you’ll miss it, but still. You pull the shirt off, until your torso is just as exposed as his. His gaze sweeps over you ravenously. Then, he leans back onto the bed with his elbows propping him up so he can enjoy the show. What a bastard . 

You bite back a groan as your hips stutter forward; the friction is already causing that sensation in your stomach to build up, even if it’s barely anything. It’s probably due Miguel’s eyes raking over you with tightly restrained desire. You don’t miss the way his eyelids lower and he looks away for a brief instant as you keep your eyes trained right on him. The tightness of your pants does absolute miracles to fill your mind with a pleasure-induced haze, so much so that you’re leaning forward and putting your hands on the curves of his waist (as if they were handlebars) to steady yourself. 

You can go slow without losing out on the mind-numbing friction you’re experiencing - the absolute pressure is slowly driving you to that brink without you having to even try. Still, you can’t help but feel a small gnawing trickle of disappointment; will this end this soon? You push it out of your mind as you continue moving against his thigh - that haze you’re in is too powerful to worry too much about the what-ifs. You succumb to the pleasure, slowly, but surely. 

It’s almost comical as that pleasant haze is snatched away. Even with heightened reflexes, you barely process the swiftness with which Miguel sits up and somehow manoeuvres you so your back is sinking into the sheets of his bed. You can’t help but cry out in disappointment. 

“You thought I’d let you fall apart so easily?” he’s practically purring with that vexing smile on his face - you almost prefer his permanent scowl to this smug expression. Still, being manhandled by him makes your heart drum louder than ever in your ears. “After your constant misconduct ? Open your mouth, whore.”

You open your mouth obediently, and he lets out a pleased hum. You instinctively know what he’s about to do, so it’s not a surprise when he lets a thick string of spit fall into your mouth. You swallow, noticing how his eyes trace over your throat with barely suppressed lust. 

“ Please ,” you choke out, helpless with your wrists pinned to either side of your head. You can hear a dry little chuckle sound out from him. 

“Speak up,” he leans in closer to practically spit the words out. A slight shiver runs through you when his breath ghosts over your ear. “What does the little slut want me to do to him?” 

It’s so utterly laughable; his words make you so goddamn pliant in his hands. 

“I want you in me,” you don’t miss how his body tenses at your bold request. The curve of his throat bobs when he swallows thickly. 

“I’m going to ruin you,” he promises quietly. His head dips low to trail a path down your chest with his mouth - you know you’ll be absolutely covered in marks by the time he’s done with you, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. You revel in his touch. You lean into him like a goddamn moth to flame. 

With a swift tug, he pulls down the elastic band of your pants (you thank whatever’s above that they’re spared the same treatment as your shirt). You’re left shivering as his mouth travels to mark up your thighs - he’s practically burning bruises into you at this point. 

Dim red lighting washes over every sharp crevice and line on his face. The sight before you eases the frustration building at the agonizingly slow pace he’s setting. More . It’s as if he’s heard your silent plea; before you know it, one of his fingers slips past your underwear and enters you, coated in what feels to be lube. Fuck . A drawn out string of muttered expletives escapes your lips as he continues at his slow pace. 

“Are you frustrated?” he mocks, resting the side of his head on your inner thigh as he languidly moves his finger. That prick knows it’s not enough; he’s inviting you to beg for it. It’s humiliating, but you can’t bring yourself to care as desperation pools in your stomach. 

“Faster, please -” your words cut off with a strangled moan as he pushes another finger in easily. Your hand desperately grasps his hair to ground yourself, earning a reverberating groan against your inner thigh. Fervently, you pray those walls of his are soundproof; the obscene noises coming from both your mouth and between your legs fill up the room quickly. 

His composure seems to be rapidly slipping as well, judging by how his enthralled gaze is focused on how you’re taking his fingers. His chest is rising and falling erratically, and his eyes flicker between your lowered eyes and where you’re pulling him in greedily. As soon as you increase in volume, he pulls his fingers out, leaving you so unbearably empty . 

The next thing you notice is the neon red ropes that buzz with static energy trussing your wrists up - it can only be his handiwork, though you’ve never been this close to those unusual red webs. You don’t question it; instead, you’re rapt watching Miguel, who’s hooking his fingers around the bunched up material around his waist, and pulling it down ever so slowly as if he’s putting on a show for you. Maybe he is , considering his eyes are right on you and watching your expression with an underlying smugness as you take the sight in. 

He’s blocking out the vermillion glow of those monitors, practically towering over you and making you swallow nervously thinking about how exactly you’re going to take him. That worry pushes its way into the back of your mind as you decide you don’t particularly care when he’s haloed by that lighting as if he were an angel.

He looks like he’s relishing your reaction when he pulls his underwear off; after all, he’s suppressing that dry, mirthful laugh at your widened stare. You can’t help it - he’s massive . You’re enraptured by the small hiss he lets out at the coldness of the lube as he pumps himself, knowing very well he’s just as entertained as you. 

“Scared you won’t be able to take it?” he challenges, parting your legs easily with the faintest pressure of his claws digging into your thighs. His pupils are completely blown out with lust; they’re honed in on you completely as if he were hunting you down. “Like you weren’t desperately fucking yourself on my fingers a minute ago?”

He cages you easily: too easily. You’re so malleable for him already, and he hasn’t even begun. Your wrists are starting to feel deliciously numb from the low buzz of his crimson web, and you can feel your breathing start to accelerate. 

“ Please , Miguel,” whatever scraps of dignity remaining in you aren’t enough to stop you from begging him to do anything . “I can take it.”

And whatever self-control he’s been displaying (hardly any) up to this point swiftly dissipates as he leans in to swallow the moan that emerges when he finally puts the tip in. He’s still moving all too slowly, but the stretch is making up for it. A low whine escapes your throat as he presses in, and you’re teetering between pain and pleasure. 

“Thought you said you could take it,” he lets out an amused exhale into your mouth, not going any deeper to accustom you to the burn. “And I’m only halfway.”

You rock your hips into his and revel in his groans, prompting him to slowly bottom out. Holy fuck . It’s enough to make your mind blur with a foggy haze at the absolute fullness he’s causing. He’s clearly enjoying himself, or at least, his expression is contorted into one of sharp amusement. 

“Faster,” you urge him on. He can feel your wanting in every arrhythmic breath you take. 

“So desperate,” he groans out as you roll your hips to generate any friction. His chest dips down until it’s pressing up against your bound wrists, only adding to that sharp pressure building in your stomach. “I bet you just want to be used like a degenerate toy.”

Please . 

He doesn’t allow you time for thought at all when he starts moving; his pace is unrelenting and brutal, forcing noises so obscene out of you that you’re praying for whatever next-door neighbour he might have. The snap of his hips into yours is slowly building up that aching pleasure, and your back slowly arches so he can target that particular spot better.

You’re very rapidly unravelling, even more so when he bites down into your shoulder. The pain coursing through your veins swiftly devolves into pleasure. You can already taste the blissful wave that’s steadily approaching you. 

His movements become more sloppy as he becomes more vocal at the way you’re taking him. It’s incredibly attractive to watch that carnal desire overtake him. 

“Look at you, taking me so well,” he praises, digging into the sides of your shoulders with his claws. It goes straight to your pleasure-addled mind, even more so when you hear the wet sounds of skin on skin resounding through the room. “Like a personal fucktoy, don’t you think?”

You can’t even say anything in response, wrapping your legs tightly around him so he can reach even deeper than he has. The overwhelming urge to let go is building up quickly in your stomach, and that heat is climbing all over your skin and mind. 

"Fuck, I’m gonna-” you choke out as Miguel angles your hips down with one hand, pressing into just the right spot. He swallows your cries as your mind goes completely blank with pleasure, still moving into you as you reach that climax. His movements draw that euphoric state out for as long as possible, before the waves of pleasure become overwhelming for your fatigued mind. 

“Miguel-” your whine is broken off as he moves into an upright position, digging his claws into your hips as he keeps moving against them. 

“You didn’t think we were done, did you?” he asks mockingly, wiping up a tear leaking from your eye with the rough pad of his thumb. You succumb to the touch, taking him in all his entirety. Your gaze trails from the frustrated lines on his face, lower, to the rivulets of your cum splattered on his lower abdomen, and finally to where he’s staring, completely enraptured. The breath in your throat hitches as you observe the bulge in your stomach fading and reappearing in time with his thrusts. “I’m not stopping until you fulfil your purpose.”

You feel a trickle of trepidation as he pulls back so only the tip remains in you. 

“What are you-” you trail off, noticing the way his lips curl in anticipation. Oh god . Surely, he won’t-

“Getting myself off,” his lethal smile is the most foreboding one you’ve ever seen, before he slams his hips into yours. It hits that sweet spot instantly and you cry out pathetically. He’s got you seeing the very galaxies with how numbed your mind feels. Distantly, you can feel tears of pleasure swimming down the sides of your face, and his own groans of pleasure. 

He pulls back again, leaving you empty once more, and repeats his earlier motion. You’re practically broken over his dick, but the waves of pleasure aren’t letting up any time soon. It seems the sensations are also getting to him; his powerful movements are slowly becoming sloppier by the second. 

“Want me to cum in you, like the slut you are?” Miguel groans out, coming more and more undone. His question makes you tighten around him, which earns you another breathy exhale. “Getting turned on by the very thought of me breeding you?” 

“ Fuck , yes,” you cry out involuntarily. You can feel your heartbeat pulsing its rapid beat in your stomach as he fills you up again and again. His grip on your thighs is slipping as he messily fucks into you. Obscene squelching noises fill up the room, but you’re too far gone again to care if the whole goddamn building hears the two of you. 

You can feel him desperately trying to maintain any sort of grip of control as his hips snap into yours fervently. Over and over, he repeats your name in a chorus as if it’s his lifeline. That aching feeling in your stomach is slowly returning, ardently wanting him to continue his unforgiving pace. 

With a start, you realise the binds on your wrists have dissolved due to his wavering concentration. Immediately, your hands wind their way around his back to steady yourself, scratching harsh marks into the muscles. He lets out a wanton groan at the sharp sensation; his breaths are coming faster and faster, and you know he’s close. 

Your fingers thread upwards through his hair to pull him into you. He breathlessly kisses you, though it’s more a desperate clash of teeth than anything. His lips part slightly in pleasure and he stiffens minutely. Got him . 

You swallow all the noises he’s making, feeling hot spurts of his cum paint your insides. He doesn’t stop moving ; it’s as if he’s making sure not a single drop is wasted. He rides out the high by pulling you ever closer to press against his body. The shuddering halt of his hips against yours lets you know the fatigue’s taken over him, but he doesn’t stop kissing you, and he doesn’t pull out either. 

The salty taste of sweat is prominent on your tongue when you drag it across the skin of his neck, leaving your own marks as a petty form of revenge. He lets out a sharp exhale, but doesn’t protest as he lets you roll him over so that you’re lying on top of him, connected nonetheless. The movement makes him whine , on the other hand, which you know you’re never going to forget. 

“Fuck,” you mumble against his skin, feeling him shift to gaze down upon your head that’s propped on his chest. “You are so lucky I don’t have any shifts tomorrow.”

Your head moves up and down on his chest as he lets out a tired laugh. Wincing, you prop yourself up on your palms so you can sit up and pull yourself off him. He groans lightly at the change, but you attempt to ignore it. 

Carefully, you rise to your knees with a pang of regret at the loss of him in you. When you look at him, he’s visibly entranced by the combined rivulets of fluids streaming from between your legs, as if he’s asking if he really did all that. 

“You can, uh, use my shower,” he offers, sounding extremely unapologetic. “And stay the night if you want.”

You don’t respond immediately, instead choosing to lean into his touch as he rubs small circles into your thighs. A pressing question emerges in your mind, however. 

“Do you always sleep with your doctors?”  

[oonajaeadira]

here's what i think

An anniversary is a really good time to reassess.

I really hate the lead up to my yearly job assessment, but every year I leave my boss' desk knowing that I'm valued and I'm actually contributing and innovating more than I can see from my perspective. It's an amazing motivator and helps me to appreciate my work. I hate doing it, but so glad when it's done.

I very much believe that we should have to retake our drivers test every year. It reminds people how to navigate a four-way stop and weeds out people who are not fit to drive for whatever reason. Cars are murder machines and a yearly test ensures most people will think about the choices they make and remember the rules more readily.

On our anniversary, the SO and I take the time to appreciate our relationship and put on the table things we'd like to work on or change, things we'd like to do in the next year together. It helps to get it out at once, shine up the nice bits, sift through the things we don't need anymore. Clears the air, confirms we're on the same page.

Birfdays should be the same. I like to walk through my day as normally as possible--well, maybe with a few treats--and just appreciate what I have, listen and look at the world around me and realize what life is and what's in it--that I"M in it. Try to clear my head of the mundane and see creation for what it is--one big damned miracle.

In a perfect world, I think we should be able to go to a life expert once a year on our birfday and just tell them what we think about anything and everything. Maybe just recount our blessings, talk about what we've learned in the past year, how we've grown spiritually or bodily. Maybe even just be quiet or say, "Yeah, it's good, I'm pretty content." However long or short it takes. Then they say, "Great. Today you are one year older. Would you like to try for another?" And most of the time people will say, "Yes. I will keep having this adventure" or "Yes, I would like to try a different tactic this year" or "It's hard, but I don't think I'm done yet" and they are sent on their way. The point being that they have to say out loud to another human "I am alive and here's how I feel about it and I'm going to live at least one more year if I can." But on the flip side, say you've been suffering illness or you're old and hurting, I think you should be able to say on that day "I've seen some pretty neat stuff and laughed a lot, but I'm not going to get better and every day will hurt a little more. I can't see myself going through another year of this. I think I'm ready to just call it in." And then you would have a medical team to help you shut it all down with ease and dignity and mercy. There's some nuance to every situation, of course. In a perfect world, I'm saying. A world that doesn't and can't exist.

A year is a very short time. It's long enough to forget rules or that things exist outside of routine. I always pop my parking brake when I stop for gas because if you don't use it--if you don't shake it up now and then--it can rust in place and get stuck. It can lose its function and reason for being.

I like to use anniversaries to "pop my parking brake" and "look through the owner's manual." Just to refresh. Just to make sure the system is functioning. And maybe remind myself on a tip or two of how to drive this thing.

Yes, life is very nice. I am enjoying it a lot. It was a good year full of friends and stories and dogs and seeing the world. Yes, I think I shall do another.

[solvicrafts]

Lastly (at least for tonight; I'm a tad talked out on current events rn), I want address how the results of the 2024 US election could impact not just those of us in the country, but the rest of the world, too, and little ways that we can be pro-active in the face of it.

Israel is already celebrating Trump's victory.

Trump previously told Netanyahu to "do what you have to do."

Trump has also stated that he plans to pull funding from Ukraine.

Now, you should know that Biden has promised to do what he can over the next couple of months he has in office, but realistically that is not going to be enough.

So, what can we do?

Well, let's start with reputable charities:

Medical Aid for Palestinians

Physicians For Human Rights

UNRWA (this is an important one, guys! They've been struggling to get funding since Israel accused them without evidence of being a front for Hamas)

Palestine Children's Relief Fund

Doctors Without Borders

Gaza Soup Kitchen

And you can find many more through Charity Navigator, and you can also look up existing charities and see their scores. I know it doesn't seem like much, but when Trump takes office it is going to be SO much harder to reach people in need. His administration is going to do EVERYTHING they can to sabotage relief efforts, so if you are in a position where you can help financially, now is the time.

Next, let's talk about spreading awareness.

If you know someone who was reluctant to vote, or even sat out the vote out of principle, they need to know that they still have a chance to make make things... well, not 'right,' but 'better.'

Let them know about the potential impact that Trump's victory is likely to have in the future and work with them to find a way to mitigate it. A lot of people sit out elections because they believe that they, as an individual person, do not have any power. So let's teach them about the power they DO have.

If you live in a blue state (and even if you don't!), contact your officials and ask them what they are planning to do about Project 2025. Don't like the answer? Pressure them and tell everyone you know to do the same.

They work for US. It is not the other way around.

Gavin Newsom is working on a plan to protect California from Trump's planned policies, and Trump is pissed (and isn't that just beautiful? Wouldn't it be great if that bastard could never know a single moment of joy in his life ever again, for all the suffering and death he has caused?)

This next thing is going to sound utterly unpalatable, but to be blunt, we did not have to end up here. Many of us chose this, either directly or indirectly.

For those of us in the USA, odds are pretty strong that we all know at least one person who got on the Trump Train. Some of those people are so far gone there is no pulling them back unless they are able to somehow dig themselves back out, but I do not believe that ALL of them are this far gone.

Look, there is an ugly truth that we have to come to terms with here, which is that leftists are unparalleled experts at pushing people away from their causes. This was, in my opinion, one of the big reasons that Trump won in 2016.

So what I am going to propose is going to upset some people, but I think this next thing is really important for helping us prevent this from happening again in the future:

Talk to your loved ones, especially the men, and ESPECIALLY the boys.

I have had to interact with all kinds of people who are very, very different from me, after working a lot of public facing-jobs. I have known Trump supporters. I have known anti-vaxxers. I have known people who opposed LGBT rights. And while I haven't been able to reach all of them, I have been able to reach a lot of them, and I didn't do it by telling them they suck and calling it a day.

A lot of the people falling for this shit are emotionally and mentally compromised right now. MAGA is a cult, and the Republican party has been spending the last few decades steadily feeding their constituents a diet of fear-mongering hate speech, dangerous pseudoscience, and an "it's us or them" attitude towards life.

So if you know someone who likes or respects you, and you're worried that they might be at risk of falling for this, talk to them.

Every one of us, subconsciously, is looking for a community. Make sure that YOURS is the one they feel safe going to.

(To be clear, I am not suggesting that you put yourself in harm's way for someone who has gone off the deep end here! Please do not come away from this last bit thinking that's where I was going with this)

And if you do decide to take a chance on someone who's maybe a bit further back on that train, I want to point something else out:

Most of us, on both sides of these political parties, have the same or at the very least highly compatible values. What we often fundamentally disagree on are the finer details of how to live by those values.

Walter Masterson attended a pro-life/anti-abortion rally and asked participants if they were willing to sign a petition to combat child hunger, and while the first 3 minutes are filled with people who refused, a LOT of people actually did sign:

Exhausted by the Christian Nationalist movement backing Trump? You might just find comfort in knowing that there are Christian pastors who are against Trump and everything the MAGA movement stands for:

An Ex-Conservative Christian details his experience in leaving the Republican party and learning that Democrats align better with his values:

It is so, so hard to find hope in these times, but I promise you that there IS still hope.

That is all. If you got this far, thanks for listening. We'll pull through this, but let's help as many people out as we possibly can, especially those who don't have the kind of safety that many of us do.

[miss-inkwell]

The narrative that men and women should be just friends and there’s not enough platonic love is so tired. There’s platonic love and friendship everywhere especially on shows like Abbott that have a work family! All the relationships we see with them are important key and platonic.

Just because two people have very obvious feelings for each other it doesn’t mean that they should just stay friends. You what’s great about romantic relationships? They have a strong bond that’s like friendship. They support and love each other through everything and they help each other grow. Love is a beautiful thing and I love seeing couples get together because it’s so lovely and soft. You know what romance brings? It brings care, understanding, comfort and a whole lot of affection. Kisses and physical affection shouldn’t be deemed as lesser or unnecessary because we need the friendship. It’s not that friendship isn’t important it’s that the romance is just as important. The friendship has blossomed into a person who they want to kiss and hold hands with. Sometimes there’s no friendship and they just leap into a relationship and get to know each other from their and that’s great!

In terms of Janine and Gregory they have already established that they have feelings for each other and have excellent chemistry. I understand being concerned as where they take it once they get together but I don’t think it would get boring just because they’re a couple. Janine and Gregory are perfect for each other. They compliment each other so well they help each other grow and they’re just two dorks and love to be together. I love that they’re growing their friendship this season but it’s too late for them to be just friends because they already know the feelings are there they just keep getting in their own way. Gregory doesn’t want to ruin things for them and at the end of season two Janine needed to work on herself.

It’s not just that they’re perfect together it’s also it’s something that’s important for black people like me. This is not just a ship this is a black ship to black people who like each other. It’s so nice to see a cute relationship that’s not focused on the fact that they’re black or something traumatic. I love Teddie for many reasons especially the fact that I see myself in Janine I want my own Gregory but I also see myself in him too. I love that this show is letting them grow as individuals but they can do that while also being a couple.

Being in a relationship doesn’t make a couple boring doesn’t take away from the platonic relationships and it doesn’t take away anything from the show. We would see to people who really like each other navigate their life and jobs while also acting like a couple. It’s pretty much the same as we’ve seen thus far because Janine and Gregory act married all the time. We just need to stop with this platonic relationships are better and it’s something we’ve never seen. Friendships have always existed on shows and movies and they’re still there you just have to look! Also just because people are just friends doesn’t mean people will stop shipping them and it doesn’t mean we hate friendship. Stop with the anti romance take!

[mistress-of-malevolence]

📖 its me again 😈 do u mayhaps have any more ideas,,,

Sure do!~ here's a few more!

1: (Untitled) A Red Son x Reader LMK arranged marriage/rivals to lovers where Princess Iron fan and DBK are unconfident in their son's ability to do anything right- including finding a spouse worthy of carrying on their great family line. so, they pick one for him. you are the finest soldier in the demon bull corps; smart, strong, capable- you have never failed an assignment, and that's not about to change anytime soon. they assign you to their son's side so that you can grow closer under the guise of you being his aid in attempting to retrieve the monkey king's staff- killing two birds with one stone. Unfortunately, you aren't exactly Red Son's biggest fan, finding his haughty attitude beyond irritating. this wasn't fair to either of you, like hell you would let it go forward. Since Iron fan and DBK hadn't told their son what they were up to or straight-up forced him to tie the knot with you, you guessed that they wanted him to choose you of his own free will- something you are certain would never happen. Your plan was to put everything you had into getting that staff back and absolutly nothing into getting red son to like you. Of course youll have to fake some sort of repour when prying eyes are watching otherwise the jig is up and your bosses will find out your disobeying orders. But it should be fine, your confident that you can manage. You can beat up one measely deleviery boy. You can tollerate Red son for as long as you need to. You can get him to cooperate with the neritive without clueing him in. You wont lose.

2:(Untitled) A Micheal Afton x OC FNAF. Ronnie moves in with her grandparents after getting kicked out of her old school for getting into a bad fight with the principals daughter. she hates it. she liked her old school and her old friends just fine, most of all she liked her old house. but she doesn't have must of a choice in the matter, her mom cant drop everything to drive her two hours every morning with her hospital jobs hours, so moving in with her grand parents who live within walking distance of her new school is the next best thing. her first night in town, she goes boarding and accidentally knocks some guy off a bike. they don't make a great first impression on each other, but they'll have to learn to get along as long as they're classmates. the more time they spend together, the more they begrudgingly realize they have in common. this leads to a lot of rivalry, fighting and an unrealized awkward tension between them. also, they meet right before Even/CC dies so... yeah :) angst. :)

3:(The Right Path) a Laard Nar x Navigator Invader Zim fic where Nav saves the massive from sailing into the Florpus at the last second by going against the Tallest's command. everyone lived! however, the tallest we not too pleased with his disobedience. so, they had him thrown in a holding cell and scheduled for a Pak wipe. of course, having literally been born to pilot the massive, he knew the ship like the back of his hand. he escaped to a random planet on a stolen voot cruiser. on that planet he wanders, until he comes upon Resisty HQ by complete coincidence.

BONUS! 4: (All Hail Queen Bee!) a Miraculous Ladybug Re-write/Fix-it where Chloe gets to keep the bee miraculous and her character development because I'm bitter & petty. i... i could give a run down about it but there's just so much and yet not nearly enough to talk about. if i tried, id just end up ranting, it honestly needs its own post but i just wanted to let ya know it exists in my brain.

[ratwavegamehouse]

So there are three different kinds of roles in PSYCHODUNGEON. The psychoplumbers (the main cast of the game, picked from playbooks, who go into dungeons and help close them off), the Dungeon itself (who cts as the physical landscape and any monsters within) and finally the Client; the person whose troubles and traumas the dungeon has sprung from.

PSYCHODUNGEON is set in the city of Glyndain, a post-dungeon fantasy setting, a world of magic, mobile phones and high tech gizmos. In Glyndain when peoples trauma hits a breaking point their troubles manifest physically as a psychodungeon full of monstrous nightmares. While the dungeon is active the person it's came from will feel near-completely drained of energy, a general malaise and physical uneasiness. If left unattended the dungeon will eventually completely consume the mind it sprang from, leaving just a burnt out husk.

The Client is obviously a very important character but also they're not part of the main cast. In a campaign of PSYCHODUNGEON you'll meet a variety of clients, each with their own shit going on. If you were to make a comparison to procedural television they're the special guest star, the client of the week.

When you build an individual psychodungeon you decide the Dungeon's three Textures. These Textures have a set of tools for the Dungeon (aesthetics and monsters to pull from as well as desires via which they can gain tokens) but for the Client they help shade in their backstory.

(The Textures are written broadly and the table will come up with specifics while selecting them; if they select Work as a Texture it raises the questions of what this Client does for work and why it's gotten so bad.)

The Client is also the role most responsible for the pacing of the game. There are three floors to a dungeon. You can only descend when the Client has come to an understanding about whatever Texture is being churned over by a given floor.

Ultimately closing off a psychodungeon doesn't mean everything is great for the Client, that they're all better now. They're past a crisis point. Past the dangerous intensity. But all those issues that caused this dungeon to emerge still exist. Understanding them better is a good starting point. But it's a start not a destination. The psychoplumbers won't stick around to see how things turn out in the long run for a client, that's not what the job, the job is just closing off dungeons, pulling someone back from the brink and then hoping for the best.

In PSYCHODUNGEON we delve into nightmarish psychostructures, battle monsters, navigate a hostile domain, and help the mind the dungeon sprung from gain closure. We do this for a meagre paycheck. On the surface we try to get by living our lives in a busy city that wouldn’t miss you if you fell off the face of the planet.

Coming to Kickstarter this May. Please follow the pre-launch page. This is the ninth of a series of posts I’ll do all about different aspects of the game. Check the tag to see previous posts. Put in requests for what else you’re curious about the game.

[drowningparty]

Recent WLW/GL Series Guide

Going to start a compendium for all things wlw but until then, so everyone is in the loop, will recommend some recently completed and currently airing shows I think people should check out:

Lulu (2022, Philippines) A really great, feel-good show, low budget and a little ridiculous but I love the main couple so much! Watched this with a friend and we both really appreciated how real they and their relationship felt, you could tell this show was made with love. A young woman decides to get away from it all following a break-up, deleting her social media and taking over her family’s sleepy beachside B&B, only to fall for her one-and-only guest, a mysterious tomboy with a pet cactus. When the pandemic hits, they are forced to spend lockdown alone together. 8 episodes, about 30 minutes.

Sleep With Me (2022, Philippines) Excellent series about two young women navigating dating and disability. Love, love, love that they do not exist in isolation, and that their relationship isn’t their entire world, they have friends and families and a job, and how very clear it is they love each other. Also the disabled wlw rep really got me as a disabled wlw its hard out there this series was so important to me. 6 episodes, about 30 minutes each.

Pearl Next Door (2020, Philippines) Spin-off GL webseries featuring a side character from a more popular BL series, filmed like a video blog as the main character, Pearl, navigates dating during lockdown. Very bubbly, bright, but I just felt like I was eavesdropping on a private video chat and couldn’t get into it myself.

Chasing Sunsets (2020, Philippines) Another low budget GL webseries about women falling in love during lockdown, but darker than the last one, deals with  heavy mental health themes, content warnings are on the tin, meant to be educational as well as entertaining.

BetCin (2021, Philippines) An internet famous couple on the verge of a break-up have to pretend to still be in love to win a #relationshipgoals award with a 10 million pesos reward. Still need to watch this but I’ve heard it’s not very good, too L-Word and behind a paywall. Romcom. 8 episodes.

She Makes My Heart Flutter (2022, Korean) New mini-series which fast became a favourite about the dynamic between an aunt and a niece, both lesbians, who both end up working at the same women-only book cafe/bar, the Dickenson Room. Both are at very different places in their life, with the outgoing young niece a popular university student, easily falling in and out of relationships and open about her sexuality, while the shy, beautiful, but intensely private aunt has long been nursing a crush on the same woman, but is afraid she may be straight / not interested. Both help each other navigate romantic relationships, as well as being closeted to their extended family. 5 episodes, 11-16 minutes each.

Our Relationship Ended Before It Began (2022, Korean) Very cute mini-series, an overworked barista develops a crush on her tomboyish boss, doesn’t know what to do about it. Extremely sweet, but too short!

Girlfriend Project Day 1 (2022, Korean) Fun little mini-series, but too short! They are working on funding a season 2. Episodes only 5-9 minutes long, and only 5 altogether, but worth a watch. Two university students, one outgoing, one shy, have to pretend to be in a relationship for a psychology project,  decide to try dating for real.

Welcome to the Lesbian Bar (2023, Korean) 5 episodes, 6-7 minutes, mini-series follows lesbians in a small bar in South Korea. Loved this one, very sweet, very realistic, wish the episodes were a little longer / we got more but really love what we get, good representation of different relationships and dynamics, and also has two butches/toms! The head bartender is wonderful, helps tie together different, unconnected stories.

Love Tech (2021, Korean) Started strong but lost me by the end. Still, it might be your cup of tea! A short black mirror-esque exploration of a dating service that dictates your life, including when and where and how often you go on dates and when your relationship ends. Two women try to game the system.

Nevertheless (2021, Korean) They aren’t the main characters but there is a very sweet best friends to lovers side plot between two female students at this art college which is so good I don’t think anyone should miss it. If you, like me, have no interest in the main plot, there are also compilations available online of just their scenes which I highly recommend, and gives you a movie-length show all your own. Explores coming out a little too, in a quiet way. It’s an art school.

My Fairy Ghost (2022, Japan) Only 4 episodes but really well done. A young novelist struggling to find inspiration for her next novel meets and falls in love with the ghost of an artist who needs her help. Excellent content, liked and subscribed, beautifully done. Loved this!

Six Survivors (2022, Japan) 6 episodes, 24 mins each. Contemporary scifi romcom with young zombie survivors taking cover in a mall and trying to ride out the worst of the apocalypse. Extremely cute, has some gay + bisexual female characters and a love triangle between three of them. There is a little blood and a few supporting characters become zombies, but very light on the actual horror, mostly a character study. Pretty fun.

Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury (2022-2023, Japan) 12 episode first season, second season currently airing, anime, really great series for sci-fi fans even if you know nothing about the franchise (I went in blind and had no trouble), entire first season available on youtube w/ subs, and the dub has just started airing if you prefer dubs. Two girls at a dueling mobile suit school in space become engaged, start a company, and learn about the horrors of war. Not to be missed. (cw: violence, gore, murder, doppelgangers, psychological abuse, childhood trauma, death of family members, child endangerment.)

The Executioner and Her Way of Life (2022, Japan) Another anime that aired last year, 12 episodes, a joy for fans of unhinged, violent women slowly falling in love. The plot is contrived, but good for fans of adventure fantasy. Basically: a magic assassin / priestess is told she has to end the life of an isekai’d girl who can magically control time before she becomes too powerful. It doesn’t help that the girl she’s trying to assassinate falls in love with her, and seems to be impossible to kill, no matter how hard she tries. Contains a nice twist halfway through which made me love their dynamic. (cw: murder, gaslighting, backstabbing, manipulation, bullying.)

The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady (2023, Japan) 12 episodes, 20-25 mins each, extremely gay and breezy fantasy comedy drama! A young princess who gave up the throne steals her brother’s fiancee so she can have an assistant for her magical experiments. Very fun, contains magic and a vampire. If you enjoy it, there’s also a light novel / manga.

Yuri Is My Job! (2023, Japan) Recently started airing anime based on the manga, gay schoolgirls work at a themed cafe where they pretend to be gay schoolgirls, everyone is putting on an act and everyone is into someone who is into someone else, a light comedy that purportedly gets more dramatic as it goes.

I’m In Love with the Villainess (2023, Japan) also translated as I Favour the Villainess, currently airing anime adaptation of a yuri manga, kind of unique for having a protagonist who self-identifies as a lesbian and there’s even a fairly frank discussion of sexuality in an early episode. Anyway, it’s got magic and a pseudo-historic setting (it’s in a video game, and, as I have mentioned, there’s magic). Should have 12 episodes, around 20-24 minutes each.

Mayonaka Punch (2024, Japan) currently ongoing summer anime that wasn’t sold as yuri but definitely. feels pretty yuri, I think if you like gl anime you’ll enjoy this one, it’s very fun and silly, stars a cancelled youtuber and the definitely-a-lesbian-vampire who’s obsessed with drinking her blood forming a whole... vampire polycule of girl vampire youtubers. I don’t know. It’s fun and cute and ridiculous so far. Definitely recommend it if any of this sounds appealing.

She Loves To Cook, She Loves To Eat (2023-2024, Japan) Slice-of-light, slow-paced, wholesome drama about two working, independent women who live in the same apartment complex and meet by chance. One of them loves cooking, but has no one to cook for. The other loves eating. A slow but believable, tender story about slowly falling in love over a shared love of food, would be good for fans of cooking shows as cooking is a big focus. One is just beginning to realise she’s a lesbian. 10 episodes, about 14-15 mins each. Longer second season airing now!

Chaser Game W (2024, Japan) 8 episodes, each 23-24 mins. Former girlfriends, broke-up years ago, now one of them hates the other, modern office romance, high drama, lot of tension, surprising amount of fluff for how angsty it is, one of them is married with a kid, this is a wild ride start to finish but very enjoyable if you don’t mind the fact the main couple never actually talk no one ever talks there’s no talking just a couple that’s very cute being put into a series of situations.

Ayaka is in love with Hiroko! (2024, Japan) will have 8 episodes, currently airing on gagaoolala, a streaming service I've always loved and supported and I highly recommend supporting if you can afford it. First episode is free! Contemporary office romcom based on a manga where a notorious womanizer things a younger coworker who keeps flirting with her is straight, and has no idea she's flirting...? but it is obvious she is flirting. Already hilarious, cute, can't wait to see where this one goes, great chemistry between the leads.

Stupid Wife (2022, Brazil) A woman wakes up after forgetting the last ten years of her life to find herself married to a woman she remembers hating in college with a child. Serious drama, has some darker moments, but with tender moments mixed in, you get to watch them slowly fall in love again. Completed. 8 episodes, 20-30 mins each.

Legend of Yunze (2021-2022, China) A really excellent wuxia featuring two women who fall in love, magic and demons and swordfights. The spin-off series which followed earlier this year, where they are re-incarnated in the modern day and fall in love there as well, also really delightful, and a translation of the second series is now available on youtube. (If you enjoyed this, definitely check out Legend of Yun Qian as well! It’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen and pure candy.)

Led Astray By Love (2022, China) Isekai where a woman from the modern day gets transported into the manhua she’s reading, falls in love with a politically-ambitious woman she initially believes is mute, who fears she may be a spy. Really funny, tooth-rottingly sweet, with a convuluted plot and bitesize episodes that fly by, I loved every minute of it.

Couple of Mirrors (2021, China) First season completed, but renewed for a second. Historical Chinese drama set in the 1920s about an assassin and a famous author whose lives become entangled following a murder. Mainstream, so heavily censored version of a very gay novel/manga, so keep that in mind, but it’s very clear they’re in love and surprisingly domestic near the end. (Murder mystery / police procedural focus since they’re not legally allowed to kiss, so usual cw apply: violence, murder, child endangerment.)

The Vampires (2022, China) Two young women investigate an old haunted ship and find its full of undead with complicated pasts. Very gay in a heavily censored way, surprisingly brilliant special effects and action scenes, fast-paced and engaging. 40 mins. (cw: fantasy violence, blood.)

Nü Er Hong (2023, China) Complete. Mini-series with very short episodes compiled into one hour long video w/ subs, chaotic good fun for fans of wuxia gl with sci-fi/fantasy elements, they are witch/demon/vampires from space? timeless and in love? I am biased b/c I am personally in love with Wang Laoji and women doing martial arts/being gay, but this is a fun one, if you can follow the slightly confusing plot. If you liked Legend of Yunze, don’t miss this one! (cw: blood, vampirism, misogyny, fantasy violence)

Moonlight Fills the Western Tower (2024, China) Completed mini-series, 1 hour 18 minutes. Historical romance between a crossdressing general and a spy who disguises herself as a beggar. I absolutely loved this one, very dramatic, with a lot of action and fight scenes! (cw: a lot of guns, violence, drowning, murder, drugging, some dubcon but it gets. diverted. gets very dark at times, but ultimately has a happy ending.)

A Flower for Three Lifetimes (2023, China) Completed mini-series, short episodes, 30 mins altogether. A flower becomes a real woman and falls in love with her keeper. Costume drama / xianxia.

Wicked Wealthy Women (2023, China) Mini-series, short episodes. Not for me, the plot was too convoluted and hard to follow, but I know it has a big following! A beautiful young woman marries a rich older man because she plans to murder him, quickly learns the rest of his family wants him dead, too. Rich people drama / murder mystery with a lot of backstabbing. Sequel series recently released, too, for fans! (cw: murder / gun violence, ableism, domestic violence, noncon, car accident, suicide, no happy ending.)

A Practical Guide to Being a Superstars Assistant (2022, China) Completed short mini-series, 13 mins. Contemporary romance between a rich, spoiled idol and her personal assistant, a secret fan.

Yun Zhi Xi / Cloudy Stream (2023, China) Upcoming mini-series, supernatural GL drama set in a school. Contemporary with magic / alternate universes.

Sunflowers / Feng Ling Yu Xiu (2017-2023, China) Donghua, extremely sweet animated series following the adventures of two girls who are very much in love. They are both soulmates and both extremely good at fighting and this became a favourite so fast they are so in love its ridiculous and I think about them constantly. S2 started airing this summer, and is also available on youtube w/ subs  (+ Lunar New Year Special!!!)

Dear Uranus (2021, Taiwan) Short mini-series, about lesbians and gncs at a school in Taiwan, develops into a love triangle, made by and for lesbians. A lot of fun but too short, open-ended finale, holding out they make more episodes.

Handsome Stewardess (2019, Taiwan) Okay, not as ‘new’ as the others, but new to me, and I really fucking loved this series about a tom named Holly who wants to spend her life with her new girlfriend, a martial artist, but money is an issue, so she decides to get a job as a stewardess, even though she has to wear a dress. Dramedy, has some very funny, light-hearted moments and some very sad moments mixed together, but I loved this one a lot and have yet to find anything else that can hold a candle to it. (cw: they go hard on fighting sexual harassment, which includes depicting a lot of sexual harassment, be warned; a main character also becomes seriously injured.)

Secrets of 1979 (2021, Taiwan) Not a series so this is technically cheating but this is an amazing movie by Zero Chou that I need to rave about, it’s so good and I think everyone should see it! Two university students who are very much in love spend the summer with one of the couple’s families, living and working on a banana farm. They also end up helping out a magazine all about freedom of information and expression, something the current military regime rulling Taiwan does not condone. (cw: police brutality, violence.)

Fragrance of the First Flower (2021, Taiwan) This series really was not for me, too serious and slow-paced, but I’m sure others will enjoy this series about a wife and mother in a loveless marriage who reconnects with the girl she had a crush on when she was younger, but they were both too afraid to act on it. Now they’ve grown up she wonders if she can.

Encore Martha (2021, Taiwan) Standalone short, but I think it still merits inclusion, as it’s rare to see older lesbians get a shout, and she still looks amazing in her suit! A senior lesbian tom runs into an old love, and they try to reconnect.

2PM Campus (Thai) Follows some female friends in their 20s at university. 4 episodes, around 18-25 mins each. Includes a wlw romance.

Nothing Happens By Accident (2022, Thai) 3 episodes, 8 mins. Contemporary romance. Hurt/comfort, one has a broken arm, the other nurses her. Very sweet, simple love story.

Always Be You (2022, Thai) 2 episodes, 7-8 mins. Quick and easy ‘long time no see’ contemporary love story.

From 1 Metre to 1 Centimetre (2022, Thai) 4 episodes, 8-9 mins. MC who likes to live alone gets a roommate in her dorm, thinks they won’t get along. Has a rule new roommate stays at least 1 metre away from her at all times. This rule gets broken. Contemporary romance.  

Gap the Series (2022-2023, Thai) Recently completed series with 12 episodes, nearly an hour long each, this one is so much fun, an office romcom with every fanfic trope in the book, starring a bright, outgoing young woman who falls in love with her rich, noble, emotionally repressed boss, who is being pressured into an arranged marriage. Highly recommend catching this, it’s very good, and the perfect balance of drama and comedy! (cw: mild homophobia, death of a wlw supporting character, but happy ending for main characters.)

Don’t Break My Mission (2023, Thai) 4 episodes, 6-8 mins each. Low-budget contemporary romance mini-series. One of them is trying get over the other, but keeps failing. Pretty sweet so far.

You are the Cream in my Coffee (2023, Thai) 7 episodes, 6-10 mins. Short coffee shop contemporary GL mini series, very wholesome!

You are the vitamins in my routine (2023, Thai) 4 episodes, 7-11 mins. Short GL mini-series, contemporary romance, but the couple starts out already together for a change. Sweet, wholesome fluff.

Show Me Love (2023, Thai) First episode released on youtube, the rest are pay to view. 9 episodes in total. Beauty pageant contestants fall in love. Update: rest now coming to youtube, too!

Service Charge (2023, Thai) Short mini-series, 3 episodes 5-6 mins. Contemporary romance b/w a housekeeper and an actress.

My Ideal Ratio (2023, Thai) 2 part mini-series, 6 eps, 5-10 mins. Contemporary GL romance. 170 is set in secondary school, 156 in university.

Lemon vs Melon (2023, Thai) First episode of six just released w/ subs, contemporary miniseries, a mistake leads to two women getting forced to live together, sounds like it will be an opposites attract love story.

Lucky My Love (2023, Thai) 5 ep miniseries (1 hour 20 runtime), office romance for fans of Gap, but a lot lighter/more sweet, with less angst, and less chemistry between the leads, but still a cute love story.

Be Mine (2023-2024, Thai) Upcoming GL, prologue episode out, full series will probably drop early 2024! Story seems to be an anthology, follows several wlw couples and friends in a contemporary setting.

Love in the Rain (2023, Thai) Coming soon, two teasers out! A contemporary love story, will be accompanied by three other unrelated GL shows w/ different actors, made by the same team, mostly following idols / musicians. Will update when I know more.

23.5 (2023, Thai) First episode just released, secondary school students in love. Very cute and wholesome first episode, a loner who just transferred to a new school falls in love with a more popular girl. Real sweet so far.

Blank the Series (2023, Thai) Based on the same series as Gap, follows one of Sam’s older sisters, a painter, who is being pursued by a younger woman, age gap relationship, grandmother doesn’t approve. Haven’t watched it yet and final episode isn’t out so can’t tell you if it ends happily, but people seem to be enjoying it? 6 episodes, averaging 50 mins.

Making Memorable Memories (2023, Thai) follows several different office romances happening at the same time between different women, with different dynamics, some who have past history. At the start felt like it was going to be an anthology but then you start to see how their stories intersect, it’s nice! Low stakes, but good. 12 episodes, around 9 minutes each.

Love Senior (2023, Thai) Currently airing contemporary romance b/w engineering students brought to you by a company that mainly makes BL but seems to be branching out. If this and 23.5 do well, there will likely be more.

Anti-Christmas Club (2023, Thai) Three-part mini-series about wlw who don’t like christmas, all around nine minutes.

Sunshine in the Wind (2024, Thai) Upcoming miniseries with a sweet trailer/pilot that just released recently, and a couple that started as a sidecouple from a bl series. Contemporary florist / actress romance.

Reverse 4 You (2024, Thai) Very excited for this, has a Life is Strange energy. New trailer just dropped and it finally has a release date! August 31st!

The Last Case (2024, Thai). WE HAVE A TRAILER!!!! WE HAVE A TRAILER!!!! No release date yet, but sounds VERY fun, looks amazing. Dark murder mystery thriller with modern career sapphics in their mid/late twenties.

My Marvellous Dream is You (2024, Thai). Contemporary romance, 45 min + 8 episodes. Leads have a complicated history. One is a famous actress, one is her stylist, ends up working for her rival instead because she’s being blackmailed. I went off this one quickly it wasn’t for me, too melodramatic, but others may enjoy!

About Galaxy (2024, Thai). GL series, might be out later this year? Not much news lately.

Affair (2024, Thai) Upcoming GL series, first episode airs 30 August. Contemporary romance, friends to lovers, going to have 8 episodes, don’t know much else yet.

Love of Secret (2022, Thai) A series about a family where several members are hiding innocent secrets, and things get confusing. One of the teenage daughters of the house is hiding a secret girlfriend, as well as a secret idol career. (cw: not a love story and they don’t get a happy ending, but it’s cute as a family drama, and it’s lovely how supportive her family are of their relationship while it lasts, but be warned going in, they don’t really get a happy ending.)

Stupid Boys, Stupid Love (2021, Thai) Okay, hear me out. This is a BL series set in a school, but they have a background relationship between two women, a tom/butch and a femme, which is so delightful I think it’s worth giving a shot just for them, even if you don’t usually watch BL or just want to skip to their scenes. It’s a very sweet best friends to girlfriends storyline.

Magic of Zero: Zero Photography (2022, Thai) Anthology series, first standalone episode follows the background wlw couple from Bad Buddy.

Wedding Plan: The Series (2024, Thai) BL series w/ a background GL couple who are already together. They’re sweet, but have far less screentime than the main couple so far. Will keep watching to see how it goes, but basically a contemporary work romance where two friends, a gay man and a gay woman, are trying to get married. The lesbian has a long-term girlfriend and the gay man is falling for the wedding planner. Reminds me a little of Two Weddings and a Funeral (2012).

Pluto (2024, Thai) Upcoming GL series, started filming recently, has a teaser. I believe the plot follows a woman falling in love with somone who has just come out of a coma from a car accident, and is now blind. Sounds heavy. I don’t know if it has a happy ending or not. Will get back to you. o7

The Secret of Us (2024, Thai) Currently airing GL series, a contemporary romance between a doctor and a waitress/student. Will have 8 episodes.

Club Friday: Love Bully (2024, Thai) 4 episodes, 40-50 mins. Contemporary romance between two young career women, ones a struggling bartender and ones about to make the CEO of her family's corporation. Really loved this one, also nice to see some older trans rep with Aunt Jo! (cw: some homophobic & transphobic language & violence from antagonists trying to break-up the happy couple)

The Loyal Pin (2024, Thai) Just started airing, series about a princess and her childhood friend who fall in love starring Freenbecky. Big budget, high society drama where love conflicts with duty. Will have 16 episodes in all, releasing every Sunday.

Omaiseries (2024, Vietnam) Two university students who are roommates fall in love, one already knows she’s a lesbian the other one’s still figuring it out. Very sweet, wholesome, extremely low budget, entire thing looks filmed with a camera phone but if you can overlook that the leads have great chemistry. Still ongoing, currently on the second season! People are sleeping on this but they shouldn’t. 10-12 minute ‘marathons’ collected shorter episodes w/ english subs.

My Other Half (2024, Myanmar) also “The Other Side of My Heart”? Hard to get information for this one, 7 episodes, all around 30 minutes, only just started getting english subs though so waiting for them all to get subbed, will update when I know more and I’ve watched it all!

She (2023, Myanmar) A florist who feels trapped by her relationship with her abusive husband, falls in love with the woman she recently hired. 4 episodes, 10-17 mins each. (cw: domestic violence, sexual assault in first episode.)

Badhaai Do (2022, India) A movie, not a series, but I wanted to include it! Comedy/drama. A gay woman and a gay man decide to enter a lavendar marriage to keep their respective families off their backs, while they date people they’re actually interested in on the side, and eventually decide to raise a family together. Feel good movie, explores unique family dynamics and coming out. (cw: police brutality, blackmail.)

Catch the Light (2019, India) Short 3-episode mini-series about a bisexual woman who is going blind, explores disability, sexuality, and polyamory. (cw: does feature a homophobic parent, so an argument can be made against homophobia by a supportive one.)

Gentleman Jack (2019-2022, UK) Fun while it lasted! Period drama based on the real life of Anne Lister, a womanising, opportunistic, businesswoman from the 1800s who is looking for the perfect woman to set up house with. (cw: casual homophobia, misogyny, classism, and gun violence, typical of the setting.)

Confessions of Frannie Langton (2022, UK) A dark, feminist, period drama based on a novel about a Jamaican maid in 1820s England who falls in love with her master’s wife and is accused of their murder. Heavy and tragic but well done, I do appreciate how unapologetic Frannie is about their relationship, despite the setting. 4 episodes, 45-50 minutes each. (cw: slavery, misogyny, racism, homophobia, abuse, violence, master/servant relationship.)

Hitmen (2020-2021, UK) Sitcom about a pair of middle-aged assassins played by Mel and Sue. Not a romance at all but Sue’s character is gay like her and it’s always nice having older lesbians on television. 2 seasons, 12 episodes. (cw: violence, murder.)

Renegade Nell (2024, UK) historical setting but fantasy themes, butch mc who isn’t super young but is very badass, don’t think too hard about it and it’s a very fun show, she has a female love interest near the end, unclear whether or not it will get renewed but I do recommend this one if you like escapist fantasy shows like Willow, Dickinson, Warrior Nun, Xena, etc. Haven’t seen a lot of people talking about it but very delightful, and the sapphic part was a surprise, I was more happy to see a show about a crossdressing main character in olden times honestly.

Killing Eve (2018-2022, UK/USA) Sandra Oh and Jodie Comer are brilliant, if you just ignore the last series (which was terrible) the first three are a lot of fun and I love the S3 finale. If you somehow managed to miss it, a show about an assassin and the woman obsessed with exposing her, based on a book series with a better ending. (cw: extremely graphic and visceral murders, often played for laughs.)

Willow (2022, USA) New fantasy adventure series, recently completed. 8 episodes, 40-60 mins each. There’s a very good love story between two of the main female characters, a knight and a gender-non-conforming princess, who have been best friends since childhood. Love their chemistry, not to be missed if you like fun, chaotic adventure fantasies, has the feel of a D&D campaign. (cw: typical fantasy violence, blood, a couple of supporting gays are buried in the third episode.)

Haunting of Bly Manor (2020, USA) A popular one, but if you missed it, features a wlw couple who are very sweet, up until they meet their inevitable tragic ending. If you have an issue with ghosts, horror, death scenes, or tragic endings, give this one a miss, but I will say it’s not big on blood or jumpscares if that’s the kind of horror you avoid. I had much more problem with the writing than the ghosts (it’s not great), but the couple are sweet while they last.

I’m Not Okay With This (2020, USA) Short lived coming-of-age Netflix drama cancelled after the first season about a teenage women with a crush on her best female friend who might have supernatural abilities, or might just be going insane. (cw: explores themes of mental illness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, gore, violence)

One Day at a Time (2017-2020, USA) Sitcom about a Cuban-American family, the eldest daughter realises she’s a lesbian, comes out, and gets a nonbinary partner over the course of the show. 

Arcane (2021, USA) Ongoing, animated series about the main ensembles struggle to survive in a crumbling, dystopian city. I like Vi and Caitlyn, I think their dynamic will get explored a lot more in the second series from what the writers are hinting.

Dragon Age: Absolution (2022, USA) Another animated series on Netflix, not a love story at all but has sapphic main characters in a messy relationship at the centre of their drama and I love to see it. Only 6 episodes.

Dickinson (2019-2022, USA) The first series didn’t win me over but the last two were a lot of fun, not to miss. Escapist, surreal, anachronistic take on the life of Emily Dickinson that lets you forget the dreariness of real life if you let it. Very gay ending. 3 seasons, 30 episodes.

Harley Quinn (2019-2023, USA) Animated series, DC universe, follows Harley Quinn post-leaving the Joker and her best friend Poison Ivy, who she ends up dating, they’re both bisexual, nothing gay happens until the second season but much is made of their friends-to-lovers dynamic from the comics. 3 seasons, 25-30 min episodes, and a standalone valentines day special.

Harlem (2021-2023, USA) Ongoing comedy series following four 30-something black women in NYC who are friends trying to balance relationships with their careers. One’s a lesbian player, and another character learns she’s bisexual (with someone else).

Only Murders in the Building (2021-2023, USA) Ongoing sitcom, not especially gay but you learn one of the main trio is bisexual in the second season when she gets a female love interest. 

Warrior Nun (2020-2022, USA) Still need to watch the much lauded second season, but a supernatural action series with a sapphic endgame a lot of people are enjoying right now I need to catch up on. Sadly, was not renewed.

A League Of Their Own (2022, USA) A fun series that is so extremely gay I needed to lie down after the night club episode. Women during WWII try to become professional baseball players, start careers independent of men, and get taken seriously. A delight to watch, but period-typical homophobia, sexism, and racism peppered throughout.

[ominous-feychild]

✦ OC Questionnaire Tag 3 ✦

Following tag from @honeybewrites !

Featuring characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Valyarus, Soren, and Grimnir! As well as a surprise visit from someone else...

Notes: Valyarus is Daleira's adopted dad, Lynsmouth nobility, and a faerie; Soren is Freya's dad, strongly hinted to be ageless, and worked as a sailor; and Grimnir is Crow's dad, the famous criminal detective of Lynsmouth, and known to work under an alias and masks to hide his identity.

Featured Questions (not all characters will answer): - "Sun or moon?" - "Would you rather drown or be buried alive?" - "How many people have you killed?" from @the-golden-comet - "Do you believe in fate?" kidnapped from the-golden-comet's post

"Sun or moon?"

Freya, the MC of Sun and Shadow who's explicitly sun-coded: Freya: Well... even before I found out about the whole "my dad gave me a magic restraint from a really young age without telling me and I actually have magic" thing... I'd always liked being out in the sun. I'd feel more refreshed, energized. I thought it was just normal, yknow? Like, who doesn't like being out in the sun? But apparently it's A Normal Magic Thing™ to feel better in your element? Even though I felt awful for a while without the restraint... apparently that's something called "magical sickness" from having too much uncontrolled essence? That's what Daleira said at least... I don't know. Regardless, um, sun, obviously, haha. 😅

Crow, the "shadow" of Sun and Shadow: Crow: Moon. The daytime is too bright and it's a lot harder to blend in. I mean--(*pointedly wiggles the sunglasses they're always wearing*)--I need these to be able to actually see thanks to my damned curse and how bright everything is. Then, like, I need to stick to the shadows at day because I just feel worse under sunlight, you know? So, yeah. Moon, easily.

Daleira, the OTHER, secret "shadow": Daleira: Sun! (gotcha 😉) It's thanks to the sun's energy that our world goes round--well, metaphorically speaking--and it would be almost unrecognizable if the sun didn't exist! 😊 Well, I mean, now that I say that... I guess the same applies to the moon, huh? Like, it's thanks to it that we have the tides and-- (*continues rambling about Science*) --wait what was the question again? Oh, right! "Sun or moon?" I would probably still pick sun, haha! 😊

Valyarus: This is an odd question. I would dare to say sun. Nights tend to be much more dangerous, both in the Faewildes and in this world. Criminals adoring the darkness and all, yes? Besides that, I am also weaker at night. So that should be an easy answer for me, no?

Soren: I'm brought back from the dead and/or a potentially disastrous situation in order to answer arbitrary questions? (*heavy sarcasm*) Interesting. How kind of our all-powerful gods to give me this opportunity. (Look do you want this break or not?) ... fine. Yes. (*Clears throat*) My wife and children all had sun- and light-allegiances. I feel that should speak for itself. However... as a seaman, the stars have always been my best friend, and it would be a nightmare to navigate without them. In spite of that, if you told me to choose between my daughter and the night, I would choose my daughter in a heartbeat. Happy? (*he asks, glaring at the camerawoman* Very, great job, Soren! 😉 *he scoffs*)

"Would you rather drown or be buried alive?"

Freya, who in the first chapter of SaS got traumatized by nearly dying in a shipwreck: Freya: Be buried alive. Next question, please and thank you.

Crow: Easy! I'd choose to be buried alive! Being encased in a coffin--or even just dirt--would surround me in shadows and I could just teleport out through them, ha! Daleira: Crow, you're supposed to take this at face value. There's no way getting out. If you had to die either way, which would you pick? Crow: (*scowling*) But that doesn't make sense! I could just teleport out! Daleira: Yeah, well that's not the point! It's supposed to, like, find out your personality and stuff! Which you'd, uh... consider to be the least painful death?... hm, that's actually really dark when you think about it... Crow: Exactly! Besides, it doesn't say I have to die through it! Just drown or "be buried alive"--not that I die in the process! (*smug birb.png*) Daleira: Um... actually, "drown" does imply death. Crow: Wait, what? Daleira: It's in the definition! "Drown: verb; to die through submersion in and inhalation of water!" Crow: ... and why do you have the exact definition of "drown" memorized? And where did you get it??? Do you have a dictionary lying around somewhere in your workshop??? Daleira: (*flushed*) Just--answer the question! Crow: I still pick being buried alive. It doesn't mean I can't escape alive, sweetheart. 😘 Daleira: (*groans and puts her face in her hands*)

Daleira: Unlike Crow, I'm actually going to answer this question as intended. 😒 While both are deeply unpleasant ways to die, I'd probably choose to drown just because it's quicker than suffocating in a coffin... or loose dirt. (*shudders*)

Valyarus: (*pleasantly; if not a bit smugly*) I could and would do neither. As a faerie, I could simply teleport out of either situation. Daleira: 😒😒😒 Daleira: (*takes a slow, deep breath... unlike someone in the situations posed in this question!*) Dad, the point of the question is "imagine you don't have any other choice". Like, if you had to pick one, which would you pick? Valyarus: (*quizzical look*) Well that's just incredibly dark, isn't it? Who would pose such a question? Daleira: (*exasperated, throws up her hands*) I don't know! Could you please just answer it, Dad??? Valyarus: (*gives a long, drawn-out sigh... also unlike someone in the situations posed in this question!*) If you insist, dear. I suppose... I would choose being buried alive. In your hypothetical situation, unaware that I was completely doomed, I would likely choose it knowing it took longer and spend a majority of the time I had trying to figure out a way out... only to die. Valyarus: But, Dally, you are aware that even if our bodies die, we do not, yes? Daleira: 😃 (*internal screaming*)

Soren: (*completely unaware of the events of the first chapter of SaS in this case--*) I would choose the sea--or, drowning, that is. I was born by the ocean, was made by the ocean, and lived through the ocean. I see no better way to die. Or a more fitting one.

Grimnir: In those cases, I'd assume I'd be being assassinated by some of my enemies... and so they're planning for it to be as painful as possible. In which case, it would likely look like this: my to-be killers choose to drown me. They repeatedly dunk and pull my head out at intervals maximized for suffering, but just barely below the time my body would force me to inhale. Ideally, none of them would have control over water magic, or they could simply let me breathe it in and draw it from my lungs. Which would likely be doubly as unpleasant as traditional water inhalation. Regardless--they would repeat this process until I finally suffocated or they got bored. And then they would kill me. Alternatively, my captors could've chosen to kill me through burying me alive. In that case, they'd do so without a coffin. That way, I'd be suffocating, buried within whatever material they thought would make me suffer most. Due to the phrasing of this question, I would assume it could not be anything inherently dangerous, otherwise I would die of exsanguination, poisoning, or whatever else. No, instead, I'd suffocate. In this case, it's unlikely my captors could interrupt or pace out my murder--unless they periodically buried, unearthed, and re-buried me, which simply seems like more effort than it's worth and comes with risk of a coma instead. Between the two situations, I would choose to be buried alive. Though, I hope you aren't intending on trying anything... I may be a detective, but I have a lot more tricks up my sleeve.

"How many people have you killed?"

Freya: Nobody??? What???

Crow: What do you mean? I'm a detective, not a murderer! Obviously I haven't killed anyone!

Daleira: (*voice uncharacteristically quiet*) It... depends on what you count as a "person." And... whether you're counting accidents... which you probably are. Regardless?... a lot.

Valyarus: I have killed very, very few people. If they even counted as "people" by the time I killed them is a better question. But... if you consider the fact that I, myself, am not human, and that those of us in my position call all of us sentient beings "people"... then I have killed very, very many people. That's why I'm in the position I am today. I am very powerful. And, sometimes, death is necessary to protect those looking up to you as a leader.

It's been a bit since Elvalen has joined Lynsmouth, though. I think I've gotten a bit rusty. 😄

(note: Valyarus has accidentally killed a lot more people in a similar manner to Daleira, but is not counting them due to it being "part of a faerie's nature", unintentional, and frankly unavoidable to an extent. Up his perceived creepiness/danger level as you deem necessary.)

Soren: Depends who's asking. If this has any possibility of reaching my daughter, none whatsoever. Otherwise... more than I wish. But being what I am, death is sometimes inevitable. Other times, it's simply the only correct choice. Would you rather leave a monster alive, or kill it where it stands to save its victims, both present and future? I think there's only one right answer there, and I have a number of people who'd thank me for it. ... even if my daughter would not.

Grimnir: Depends on what you mean by "killed". Does it count to put them in prison, knowing people can and might target them there? If so: I don't know. Definitely more than I can count. Otherwise... only a few. And only when necessary, in self-defense.

"Do you believe in fate?"

Freya: You mean the idea that our lives are predetermined from the beginning, that our decisions are set in stone before we're born, and that nothing we can do will ever change that? Of course not. And even if it did, I'd assume magic itself would interfere with how Fate wanted to make things.

Crow: I'm... not sure. I've never thought of it before to be honest. I'd guess there's probably some god out there capable of it?... though if you think of it that way, wouldn't all gods be Fate in one way or another? Like, they're all always just... sitting in their godly domains or something, watching us, seeing everything and making decisions off of it right? So from our point of view, wouldn't that make them the puppeteers of our fates? So I'd say it depends on what you consider "fate" to be. Is it an active force keeping things to a certain "timeline" or set of events? In which case I'd say no. Or is it a set of actions carried out by beings that can see so much more than we do, that are capable of comprehending things that we can't, and actively try enforcing their wills on us? In which case... I'd say yes.

Daleira: Fate? Like "things are destined to happen a certain way"? I wouldn't know! Haha, there's so many things in this world that it's impossible to know! Like, there's billions of lifeforms breathing, existing!, making decisions all at once! Could there possibly be a reason behind it, some sort of consciousness pulling everything in a certain direction to make sure different events come true? Possibly!

... what do I think of that?... hm. That's a great question. I... don't know honestly. I like the concept of free will, would like to think we all have complete control of our lives and where they go... but that just isn't realistic! Even if fate didn't exist, our lives are all still pushed and pulled in every direction by those of the people around us. And by nature! The world constantly throws things at us, and all we're able to do is react to it! Even if we make our own decisions, they're based on our life experiences and the examples we've seen of others... so it's impossible to say "free will" truly exists, either.

Valyarus: Fate? (*snickers*) Which kind of "Fate", the idea that Grand Destinies follow people, that some people are destined to come together and "complete" one another", or something... Or the cold and merciless goddess known for doing whatever it takes to achieve her goals?

Don't misunderstand me--most gods are "cold, cruel, merciless" and all those good things. But I've heard special things of Fate. She sees everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen at all times. She's able to make decisions with more information than anyone else. She's been able to plan out her actions and puppeteer everyone else from the very beginning of time. She's known for acting irrationally, having her son carry out the most out of place things... for what? What cause? What purpose? We don't know. We can't. What we do know is that she's willing to do anything. She and her son--acting on her behalf as all avatars do--have done some things even the other gods wouldn't dare do. Although, I don't think it's for a lack of willingness so much as it would otherwise get in the way of their goals to actively commit atrocities.

Regardless, oh--I do believe Fate exists. It's very hard not to when you've spoken to her son firsthand and he responds to you before you can even speak. I wouldn't recommend it, by the way. I've met some very disturbing creatures before, but he was... different.

Quinn: Well, that's just rude. Valyarus: Quinn: After I helped you and everything. Valyarus: How... how did you get in here? Quinn: Not telling. 😉 Want to apologize? Valyarus: Valyarus: (*indignant!*) I see no reason to. Quinn: Of course. No problem, then. Just... be careful around birds. Valyarus: (*silent, confused panic???*)

Soren: I believe Fate exists, yes. Whether or not that's a good thing depends on the day... and if you're in her way. Thankfully, it does not seem like I've done anything to cross her... at least, not for a very long time.

Grimnir: (*deadpan*) I would assume so. Otherwise, I'd worry who I gave my eyes to.

Your questions: - What would you do if you watched a starving child steal something expensive without anyone else noticing? - If you could go back in time and say anything to your younger self, what would you say? - What would you sell your soul for? (Metaphorically speaking, doesn't have to be literal. In other words: "What is the most important thing to you, that you would do anything for?")

Tagging (with no pressure) @darkandstormydolls @yourpenpaldee @.honeybewrites @fantasy-things-and-such @themboty @the-letterbox-archives and whoever else wants to join!

Divider from @cafekitsune

[twocubes]

I have a tarot reading request about my work + social life situation. I am basically burnt out from my job to the point that I'm unable or unwilling to accept even thanks or praise. Most of it relates to my manager, who has an imprecise yet emotionally blunt and at times exacting manner of communication that feels tailor-made to make technical discussions nearly impossible (I am a software engineer, and a fairly sensitive person. He is a military veteran who believes strongly in doing the fastest thing that works, and has been known to critique people to their face openly in group settings.) So I know the "correct" thing to do is grind up my LeetCode and start job hunting … but that would mean sitting down with a traditional data structures & algorithms text when I feel like I would much rather invest myself intellectually in my pipe dream of learning mathematics / getting, someday, to participate in the new univalent foundations of mathematics (maybe even as a programmer.) At the same time, the usual outlets I might have of getting to go for long walks / socialize on weekends feel increasingly out of reach, since I live in the outskirts of my city and the public transit authority there has been cancelling the trains for shuttle buses for most weekends, for what is going on 2 years now (at least since after the pandemic.) Having to ride buses instead of just hop on a train on weekends, for promised signal improvements that feel like they will never come, is slowly killing any sense of spontaneity and connection with casual human society outside of work for me. And even thinking about moving feels impossible (I have a housemate, my sibling, who I love dearly but I'm just not sure I want to commit to another 3-5 yrs. of cohabitation with.) Every direction in which I might reasonably turn for some vision of life outside of the cramped, artificial one where our company is super great! and everything is super exciting! despite the burnout and the constant reorgs and the whole new managerial clique we just got that's in charge of everything now, and, and, and … feels increasingly closed off. Would love any interpretation you could offer.

thank you for volunteering your fate to be decided by our still experimental divinatory process, here at dorothy twocubes' 24-hour bad advice hour™! as always, i must remind you, that this should only be taken seriously if it's good advice; otherwise, it's a joke, haha, why would you take it seriously? anyways let's get started

you seem to have some idea of what you want, and you seem to need advice regarding what to do next, so i will try with that mainstay, that good old spread that everyone likes and uses, Sun Tzu's five factors that decide battles. also i haven't done this in a while and this one i used a bunch before so maybe it's appropriate idk

alright.

Purpose: ONE OF FISHES, reversed Purpose here means what you're trying to do, your goals. If you were like, a leader of a group, it would be the reason that other people follow you. What keeps you going as like, an entity. FISHES are to do with your social position in the world, where you are relative to others in the way that it defines who you are. ONE is to do with something being complete, filled, all there, enough. that sort of thing and it's reversed

Landscape: ONE HALF OF HEARTS, reversed Landscape here means the environment you're navigating. Where you are relative to other things and other people in the sense of like, obstacles or resources or... yknow, things that must be practically considered HEARTS are to do with perpetuance; with what it is that sustains, what allows something to continue to exist. health, both literal and metaphorical ONE HALF is to do with stuff being incomplete; things that are started but not finished, things that are there but not sufficient, partialness and it's reversed

Climate: NINE OF DIAMONDS, reversed Climate here means transient stuff that affects the landscape. The mood of the world, the weather. The way the world is changing. DIAMONDS are to do with what you value, what gives your life purpose, meaning. What fulfills you. and it's reversed

Doctrine: OMEGA PLUS ONE OF DIAMONDS, upright Doctrine is what you are trained to do, what your standard operating procedures are. What you can do without having to learn to do new things. OMEGA PLUS ONE is to do with utopia. While OMEGA is to do with your ideals, that which you pursue without particular expectation that you might ever attain, OMEGA PLUS ONE is to do with the world that you might imagine if you attained your maybe-unattainable ideals. and it's upright

Leadership: EIGHT OF DIAMONDS, reversed Leadership is the strategy you chose, given all the other things here. EIGHT is to do with networks. Stuff being connected to stuff that is connected to more stuff. and it's upright

In addition, there is an arithmetic relationship between the cards:

8 + 1 = 9 this suggests that we should think of our interpretation of 9 as being a more direct consequence of the coordination of 8 and 1

I read these cards thus:

You are in a situation here where, in principle, your social position is fully secured, but your desire here is to leave this security.

The world you live in is one where people are struggling to support themselves and what-makes-them-themselves, and at the moment people are overall having to make hard choices regarding the pursuit of those precious things that make their life worth living.

You have the ability already, without having to learn it, to do what you think you would do in ideal circumstances.

So, given all this, the cards are suggesting that you should reach out in pursuit of what-gives-your-life-value and work with others; friends, acquaintances and acquaintances-of-acquaintances. In particular, the hard choices other people are making may give you some form of opportunity to change your social position.

...

Anyways, that's my reading. Maybe these cards make sense to you in some other way? Maybe this is helpful? Maybe it isn't? Either way, I claim no responsibility :p

Thanks for this opportunity to further test our experimental variant on the classic card-based rpg solitaire "cartomancy". i would be happy for feedback or a tip, but, it's also absolutely fine if you'd rather not. it's your choice, and we respect that.