#hyunjae x reader | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cupidjyu · 2 years ago

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detention for romance

hyunjae x reader

summary (because this is strangely long): as the president of the student council, you're faced with expectations. what you don't expect is to be put in detention with the student that you've heard endless negative rumors about... but he's not as bad as you had thought

genre: school au, unrealistic high school romance (yawns), flirty hyunjae, gosh he is such a waist grabber, he punched someone, but its all okay!!! he has a little sister, close proximity in a library lol, soft moments, falling asleep on his shoulder, oblivious reader, constant constant bickering, getting together, kissing, high schoolers who unrealistically make out (yawns again), slight neck kissing, cursing, younghoon sunwoo cameos notes: im not even going to talk about it word count: 10.5k (woops)

Whenever the name Lee Hyunjae was spoken in a noisy classroom, bustling hallway, or bathroom with a leaking sink, it would always be accompanied by a wince. People would contort their faces in worry whenever someone even mentioned his name or they would take the long way to get to the history classroom if it meant they wouldn’t have to come face-to-face with him.

Lee Hyunjae. The student in class 1-B was closed off and considered the scariest one ever. Some never dared to speak his name, behaving like he was that one villain with no nose from those Harry Potter movies. He never talked to anyone and if an unknowing new student ever tried to, he would stare at them silently. Some people say that he glares. Some say that he rolls his eyes.

“I heard that he’s in a gang and murders children for money,” Your classmate once said. Class 1-A loved to talk about him, hence why you strangely knew so much. You looked up from your sketchbook.

“Children? Of all types of people?” You squinted.

“Doesn’t he seem like the type to hate children?” She replied. “C’mon, you’re the president of the student council.”

You frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“You’re supposed to be smart.”

You shut your mouth at that. Maybe, you were book-smart. Street smart? You could never decipher why people hated Hyunjae so much. But then again, you never saw him before. Maybe he was just quiet. Or maybe he really was in a gang and murdered children for money. All you knew was that he was not part of your business so you couldn’t care less.

Besides, you had a student council meeting to host after this.

—

“What do you mean you lost the one thing that we needed?” You whined, staring straight at Sunwoo. “This event is the last one of the year and you—“ You sighed, pinching the area between your eyebrows.

“I’m sorry,” He cried. “It’s not my fault someone crashed my car on the way here and they fell out.”

You pouted. “Are you okay at least?”

He grinned, motioning to himself. “All in one piece.”

The one thing was actually the flower garlands for the spring party that you were tasked to plan. They were supposed to hang from the ceiling, along with string lights to resemble a pretty forest. Being the president of the student council was quite tiring. In fact, you never even intended to become one. You just happened to have decent grades.

The spring party was in just a few hours and if there were no flower garlands, then the highly anticipated party would be empty and disappointing. You couldn’t quite afford the embarrassment, especially from how many tickets you had sold.

“What do we do?” You sighed. “You can just start decorating with what we have then.”

A few of the students nodded. As they left, another member, Younghoon, approached you with a small smile. He was tall and often looked innocent like he had done no wrong. But really, he was anything but that. He loved to joke around and break the rules. You wondered how he even got into the council with such a record.

“You know,” He started, leaning against one of the rickety desks. He wobbled slightly against it, ruining the “cool” facade he decided to put on. “The main office has some of those garland things. Last year, they had a flower sale so they used those as decorations. I saw them in the closet when I was caught cheating on a test.”

You stared at him with a bored expression. “You got caught cheating on a test?”

He groaned. “Yes, and I failed the class. But that’s beside the point! You should go to the office and get the flower garlands. You’ll be just in time.”

You really contemplated it for a second. “Can I really? What do I say?”

“Nothing.” He shrugged. “The principal doesn’t let any student borrow supplies for parties and such.”

You frowned. “You’re of no help then.”

Younghoon gave you a confused smile. “What do you mean? Just… kindly borrow them. Just for one day.”

You gaped at them. “You mean to steal them?”

He nodded as if that was the simplest thing ever. “Just sneak in and grab them. What could go wrong?”

“I am no thief,” You grumbled.

“Then I guess your party will suck then.”

You gasped. “You take that back.”

“Never.” He stuck his tongue out and then he turned towards the door. “Just think about it, won’t you? Code to the closet is 1026 by the way.” He winked as he turned down the hallway with a small wave.

You were left in the empty classroom speechless. There was no way you would steal from the school. That would result in serious consequences and you couldn’t ruin your reputation. With an abrupt shake of your head, you headed out.

And then you stopped. To the right, was the gymnasium where the party was being set up. To the left, was the main office with the flower garlands. You bit your lip, whipping your head from either side.

You ultimately turned left.

“What am I doing, what am I doing?”

–

Why did every single door of the school have to creak? Holding your breath, you peeked inside. Your eyes surveyed the room. It seemed that everyone else had left except for two people, talking in the very corner. This was the perfect chance, as you could see the closet, just on your right.

As quietly as you could, you stepped inside, hurrying over the old-looking closet that looked like it could collapse at any moment.

Just get the flowers and get out.

Your hands were practically shaking as you turned the lock.

1…0…

“Punching a student is not tolerated in this school.”

You inhaled sharply at the familiar voice of the principal, but you turned back to the lock, determined to go unnoticed.

2…

“Miss, I had my reasons.” Another voice, younger, almost like he was in your grade. He sounded tired and annoyed.

“That boy ended up with a broken nose. What possible reason could there be for that?” The principal was stern.

You paused for a second. But still, there was one more number left.

…6

With a proud smile, you silently unlocked the closet. And there it was, like an oasis in a dry desert, the flower garlands. They were prettier than the ones you had previously. Your smile grew. Oh, the party was going to be beautiful.

You were just about to grab the flowers and escape when the younger student spoke up again. “My little sis–”

“What are you doing over there?”

Clenching your jaw, you froze. Then you whipped around, only to face the principal who was staring back at you with an angry expression. Behind her, was a tall man. He must be a student as he was dressed in the typical uniform. His tie was loose and his shirt was untucked, which usually resulted in being dress coded. He didn’t seem to care though as he tilted his head at you with a nonchalant expression, one hand in his pocket.

You smiled nervously. “I was borrowing something.”

“You aren’t permitted to take anything from there. How did you even get the code?” The principal spoke sternly. “You should be setting a better example. As president of all people.”

You frowned. “But, I needed it for the par–”

“You don’t need it.” She interrupted you. “What you do need is detention. Both of you.”

“What?” You exclaimed. “I swear that I–” But it was of no use, as she was already writing your name up, as well as the other student’s. You peered at his chest only to find that there was no name tag. You sighed. This was not how you expected things to go.

“Detention.” She handed both of you the paper. “In which you both will be sweeping the art room, organizing the library, and cleaning classroom 1-B.”

“Miss,” The man complained, stepping forward. You widened your eyes when you realized just how tall he actually was. “All they did was try to steal stuff. How is that–”

The principal only raised her eyebrow at the word “steal.”

You nudged his shoulder harshly. “You’re not helping,” You whispered frantically.

He gave you a small smirk. “Well you’re not very good at stealing now are you?”

You flushed at that. “I was just trying to–”

“No more objections,” The principal stated. “Attend the party… or whatever. But you will report to detention tomorrow afternoon.”

You sighed and walked away. The man, whom you’ve now nicknamed “dickhead,” quickly caught up to you. You glanced at him with narrowed eyes, refusing to say anything. Close up, you realized that he wasn’t bad looking. He had a tall nose bridge and deer-like eyes that would be considered kind-looking if it wasn’t for the constant teasing look on his face.

“Stealing from Miss principal,” He spoke up, his voice laced with amusement. “I admire your bravery.”

You rolled your eyes, walking faster. He continued to trail behind you. With annoyance, you whipped around, already agitated from the past events.

“Why are you following me?” You frowned.

He smiled. “Don’t you need a date for this party? I’m trying to ask you out.”

You widened your eyes, your throat closing up suddenly. “Wh–what?”

He stared at you for a good minute. And then he motioned to the side with a laugh. “Just kidding, my locker’s right here.”

You groaned and turned around. Your hands clenched into fists as you stormed down the hallway.

“Dickhead.”

Little did you know, that he was watching you rush down the hallway with curious eyes.

–

Cursing at the couple who decided to make out right in front of your locker, you rushed down the stairs, your hands fumbling to fix your hair. Turning the corner, you were met with the entrance of the art room.

To say the least, your friends and fellow classmates were in much shock when they found out that you of all people had gotten detention. Again, you couldn’t care less. You just needed to get this over with.

Perhaps this could be a great learning experience! You smiled painfully.

I hate this.

Peeking through the window of the door, you could see that same man, sitting at one of the tables. Again, his uniform was awfully undone. The tie was loose like before and this time, the top two buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned. You sighed, looking down at your uniform. Neat and ironed, because you were always expected to set an example.

Slowly, you opened the door. He looked up and his lips immediately lifted up into a coy smile.

“You’re late.”

“There were some… issues.” You shivered at the thought. Out of all places, they were kissing in front of your locker?

He laughed at your expression and he stood up from the table. And then he squinted at your name tag.

“Your name is?”

“You can’t read?” You furrowed your eyebrows.

“Bad eyesight.” He grinned.

“Y/n,” You sighed.

He nodded. “I already knew that.”

“What?” You stared at him with confusion.

“President of student council,” He stated. “I hear about you a lot.”

“Then why’d you ask…” You muttered to yourself.

“Formality reasons.” He shrugged. “Like you would for me. You probably hear about me a lot too.”

You frowned as you reached over to pick up the brooms, handing one to him. He stared at it blankly, and so you sighed with frustration and thrust it into his chest.

“I don’t know you though,” You replied.

He raised an eyebrow. And then he stepped closer, looking down at you with a disbelieving look. You gulped, taking a step backward.

“You’re funny,” He whispered.

“I’m not trying to be.”

“You really don’t know?” He widened his eyes. “Lee Hyunjae?”

And that was when the world suddenly came crashing down on you. It all came together like pieces of a puzzle. The constantly messy uniform, the smirk on his lips, the whole reason that he was in detention in the first place? Punching a student.

You gasped, taking an even wider step backward. His eyes almost dimmed at your action along with his smile faltering with… something like hurt.

“You’re Hyunjae?” You mumbled.

He nodded. “And now you’re going to run away like everyone else does.”

“No.” You shook your head. “I’m just wondering…” You spoke with astonishment. “You’re not even that scary.”

He gaped at your words, his broom almost slipping out of his hands. “Scary?”

You snorted. “You have no idea what my class says about you.” You turned away for a second, beginning to sweep up all the colored pencil shavings and cut-up paper.

“Amuse me.” He appeared by your side with a small smile. You watched as he began to help you clean up the floor. You shouldn’t be so surprised but with what so many people say about him, you couldn’t help but be a little bit shocked that he was doing a basic household task.

“Are you in a gang?” You looked up at him with a stifled laugh.

“Yes,” He spoke. You eyed him suspiciously. “No,” He finally sighed. “That would be cool though.”

“Do you murder children for money?”

He winced and looked at you. “Do you believe these things?”

You shrugged. “Just curious.”

Hyunjae groaned, batting your broom with his, causing you to glare at him. “I’m a perfectly normal student.”

“Okay…” You muttered. “Then why’re you in detention for punching one?”

He grew silent at that. When you looked up at him, you could see that his jaw had clenched. He didn’t answer the question either, as he abruptly walked away to clean up somewhere. You stared after him, trying to decipher his strange reaction.

After a few more lazy broom sweeps across the floor, you turned to him, only to see that Hyunjae had stopped. He seemed to be staring at an open sketchbook on one of the tables. Quietly, you walked behind him. That was when you realized… that was your sketchbook.

Other than managing school things, you secretly enjoyed drawing in one. It was when you could escape from all your responsibilities, instead choosing to focus on doodling and perfecting a pretty picture. And you must have left it here the other day when it had mysteriously gone missing.

With a squeak, you lunged forward and shut it closed.

He jumped and stared at you in shock. That was when you came to the realization that he was sort of… cute when surprised with the way his eyes were round and his lips parted.

“Those drawings were not mine,” You rambled.

He stared at you, unimpressed. “Thanks for confirming that they’re yours.”

You sighed with defeat. “You weren’t supposed to see them. It’s private.”

His eyes searched yours. “I didn’t turn a single page. It was just open. Besides…” He trailed off. “That one drawing was very good.”

You gulped, suddenly feeling your cheeks grow warm. “Oh,” You stuttered. “Thank you.”

He gave you a small smile. Suddenly, all of those rumors that you’d heard of him had completely dissipated from your mind. You straightened up, studying him with perplexion. He wasn’t half bad. Just… a little quiet.

He pulled out one of the stools and sat down, inviting you to do the same. Cautiously, you did so, facing him with sudden nervousness.

“Can you show me another?” He asked, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity. “If you’re comfortable.”

You faltered over a breath. You watched him for a second, wondering if he was going to maybe burst out into laughter and claim that he was just joking. But instead, he only stared back expectantly.

“Okay,” You whispered. With shaky hands, you searched through your sketchbook, choosing one of your favorites. Hesitantly, you turned it around. He studied it quietly. And then he looked back up at you with a soft smile.

“Aren’t you talented?” He murmured.

You were sure that your cheeks were completely red now. Shutting the book with a loud bang, you looked down at your lap. “Shut up.”

“I’m being serious,” He chuckled. “My little sister likes to draw too, you know.”

You looked up at him in surprise.

“Little sister?”

He nodded, a sudden fond expression taking over his usual bored one. “She’s adorable. And she somehow looks up to me. I advise her not to.”

You gave him a soft smile. “She must look up to you for a reason.”

He snorted. “I try to set an example. But I’m afraid she’ll become closed off like me. She’s very bright.”

You could practically feel your heart bloom. The way that he spoke of her with such a gentle voice put a funny feeling in your stomach.

“You must love her.”

“I do,” He said with an affectionate tone. “That’s why I’m here in the first place.”

You furrowed your eyebrows at that, toying with the broken spine of the sketchbook. He quickly noticed your confusion and he sighed.

“She wanted these drawing supplies. You know, the ones with unicorns and colorful rainbows on them. So naturally, as a great older brother, I bought them.”

You laughed at that. He gave you a small smile back.

“But I was also late to school so…” His ears turned red. “I had to bring them here.”

“And?” You watched him curiously.

“The other guys in my class noticed.” He frowned. “They threatened to steal them and when they found out that it was for my little sister, they even said some mean things about her. They haven’t even seen her before.”

“Oh,” You breathed out, guiltily. “Is that why you punched one of them?”

He nodded with a sigh. “It’s okay. She was happy to receive them.” He grinned fondly. “She even gave me a hug.”

“So you’re the protective type,” You wondered. You looked at him with kind eyes. “I’m sorry about what happened.”

He shrugged. “As long as she’s happy.”

You gave him a slight smile as you stood up from the stool. Motioning to the door that led directly to the school courtyard, you turned to him. “Would you like to take a walk? We're done here anyway.” Unfortunately, you couldn’t leave right after finishing cleaning since the principal had set a certain mandatory time for both of you to stay here. Quite stupid in fact.

But, you adored the school courtyard. Especially when it was bright and sunny, all the flowers along the trail brought a certain peace to your usually stressed mind.

Hyunjae looked at you with slight surprise. “Me?”

“Who else?” You frowned.

He shrugged. “Don’t know. No one usually asks me these types of things. You’re a nice change of pace.”

Your eyes softened at that. Well, up until he—

“Getting clingy for me already?”

You gawked at him. “No? Oh my god, I was being a perfectly nice friend, and you…“

Hyunjae raises his hands up like he was being arrested as he heads for the door, gesturing that you go first. He laughed, “Sorry, sorry. And are we really friends now?”

“If you would like?” You looked at him unsurely.

“Great.” He gave you a kind smile.

As you walked, the afternoon sun beaming down on you, the two of you fell into a comfortable silence.

“So you’re just a quiet person?” You spoke up.

He turned to you. “I guess so. I promise I don't usually punch people.” He winced at the thought.

You snorted. “I get it. You were just being a good older brother.”

He hummed as he kicked at a pebble, watching it roll away.

“How was the party?” He asked quietly. “And don’t tell me you actually needed a date because I would have gladly—“

“Oh we don’t have to talk about it,” You whined. “It was a mess. Everyone was disappointed and I felt like such a failure.”

He smirked. “I mean it wasn’t all a failure.”

You looked at him. And now that you were getting a proper look, you found that he was much better than decent-looking. He was handsome. You’ve witnessed the kind side of him already and so the teasing smile on his lips began to become almost… charming.

“How’s that?” You narrowed your eyes. “You weren’t even there.”

“But I saw you. On the way home.” You could’ve sworn he did a once-over as if he was imagining you in your party attire again. “You looked beautiful.”

Your retort was caught in your throat as quickly as a spark of fire. Almost tripping on a crack in the ground, you cleared it and turned away.

“Thank you.” You squeezed your eyes shut, knowing that he was still watching you intently. “Still think it was a failure.”

When there was no response, you looked back up only to meet Hyunjae’s amused expression. He was smiling at you softly and his eyes sparkled with a hint of mischievousness.

“What is it?” You spoke cautiously.

“Nothing.” He tilted his head slightly, his eyes wandering to one of your ears. “Your ears turned red.”

Stuttering, you shoved him harshly in the chest. “Shut up. And your uniform! It’s all messed up.”

He grinned wider, leaning close so that he could whisper right into your ear where supposedly, they were red from embarrassment.

“It’s a stylistic choice.”

Inhaling sharply, you pulled away, his low voice leaving shivers down your spine. “W-well it’s a horrible one. So face me.”

He easily complied, shockingly. Your fingers hesitated at his chest, multiple red alarms going off in your head asking what the hell are you doing? Ignoring them, you began to button up his white dress shirt. Accidentally, your fingers brushed against his bare skin in which you could see that he gulped. You smiled slightly, glad to know that you also had an effect on him.

Then, your hands came down to his loose tie, pulling it right up to his collar. You desperately tried to ignore his watchful eyes, looking down at you.

“Done,” You breathed out as you tried to avoid his knowing eyes. “And tuck your shirt in yourself.”

“So you’re not going to shove your hands down my pants today? Disappointing.”

“You dirty-minded moron.” Checking your watch, you realized that you could have left long ago.

But he stopped you, his hand catching your wrist.

“Your hair.” He approached you this time, his large hand smoothing down a lock of hair. Just as you thought he was done, he tucked one piece behind your ear, his touch gentle and almost caring. “There.” He smiled. “I returned the favor.”

A quiet “thank you” was all you could muster. Your heart was beating abnormally fast. It didn’t help that he decided to tuck another piece of hair behind your other ear, his fingers brushing softly against your cheek.

“I didn’t know I looked like a mess,” You muttered.

“Still pretty to me.” He smiled.

And so with a wave, you said goodbye to Lee Hyunjae who wasn’t so scary after all. With a quirk of his lip, he waved back.

—

“Look who’s late this time?” You lifted an eyebrow as you leaned against one of the many bookshelves. Contrary to popular belief—by that you mean, your classmates who still think that you’re some literature god who can decipher every single piece of Shakespeare just by skimming through the plays—you didn’t often come to the library.

It was rickety and had odd lighting, making everything seem orange and dark. In front of you were two carts, filled with books that needed to be returned to their rightful home. What a boring detention task. How’s this supposed to teach you to do the right thing?

Hyunjae approached you with an obviously faked guilty look. “Sorry about that.” His voice was oddly croaky. As if he had just woken up. “I fell asleep. Physics is really boring.”

So he really did just wake up.

You gazed at him wordlessly. And then you walked forward, pushing one of the carts straight into his stomach. With how tired he was, he couldn’t quite register the feeling yet.

And then he groaned in pain.

“Y/n.” He scowled.

You smiled cheekily. “Let’s get this over with.”

“After you,” He sighed, motioning to the first section labeled Historical Nonfiction.

As you two wandered the various bookshelves, placing the books back, the two of you had a few casual conversations. Sometimes, Hyunjae would make you laugh. And sometimes, you would just feel the need to fix his tie and collar all over again.

“Your uniform,” You grumbled. “It bothers me.”

He smirked. “Want to button it up for me again?”

You swallowed thickly. “No. Do it yourself.”

“But I like when you do it for me,” He replied, unabashed.

“Be quiet,” You snapped, slapping his hand with a book in which he winced.

It grew quiet after that. Still, the silence was never one that was awkward or made either of you uncomfortable. It was just… simple. The shuffling of your clothes and the thump of books being placed on the shelves. But there was one question that continued to linger in your mind.

“Hey, I have something to ask.” You turned to him.

“Hm?”

“Who were the guys who made fun of you? And the one that you punched?” You asked.

He paused, looking at you indecisively. “And what are you going to do with them if I tell you?”

“Nothing,” You replied. “Just curious.”

He eyed you suspiciously but he ultimately exhaled deeply. “There were only two. One being the guy who ran against you for student council…”

Your mouth dropped open at that. Oh, how you hated that guy. He was obnoxious, had an incredibly loud and squeaky voice, and he absolutely loved bothering you. He once even tried to sabotage one of your events.

“And the other was the captain of the football team. The one I punched.”

Now you were gaping at Hyunjae like he was crazy.

“You punched him?”

“Yeah, and?” He widened his eyes cutely.

“But he’s seems so… strong,” You wondered. You had seen the way he plowed through other players in games.

He gave you a slightly crooked smile. “But look who’s broader?”

You grew quiet at that. And you must be insane because your eyes quite literally scanned over Hyunjae. Were his shoulders always this wide? And the way that his sleeves were rolled up slightly to reveal his arms were so–

“Focused?” He teased, leaning closer.

“Mhm,” You breathed out. “They’re assholes.”

He gave you a half-hearted smile. “Well, what can I do? At least I get to spend more time with you.”

You rolled your eyes, reaching back into the cart. Reading the number on it, you internally groaned when you realized that it was meant to be on the very first shelf. The one at the very top. Biting your lip slightly, you reached up. To no avail, you couldn’t quite extend far enough.

That was when you felt a chest being pressed up to your back. Hyunjae’s chest. He took the book from your hand, his skin brushing with yours as he placed the book for you. Gulping thickly, you looked up, only to meet his soft eyes. He lingered there for a moment, leaving you to realize that he smelled good. Very odd observation to make.

When he finally pulled away, you stared at him with utter shock.

“Shy, dear president?” He whispered. “Your ears are red again.”

“I’m–” You jerked a thumb behind you, desperately trying to escape. “I’m going to go. Th-thank you.”

“Anytime.” He gave you an annoyingly flirty wink as he pushed his own cart. The two of you went your separate ways.

You hummed to yourself as you worked on your own section. But you slowly stopped when you realized just how lonely it was without Hyunjae around to tease you or talk about random topics. Still, you prevailed. After what happened, you weren’t sure if you could face him again.

With a tired sigh, you pushed the cart, rounding the next corner. That was when you saw two boys. One had an annoyingly high-pitched voice, almost like a stupid mouse. You recognized him. The other walked with his chest funnily puffed out. You also recognized him. The football captain. So Hyunjae really is broader, you wondered to yourself.

But then you froze. Hyunjae is right here, in this room. And if they saw him–

Leaving your cart behind, you whipped around, weaving through the many bookshelves. With rapid breaths, you searched for him, only for you to ultimately run straight into his firm back.

He jumped, turning around.

“Y/n?”

You didn’t reply. Without a second thought, you grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him along. You dragged him into another section. Then, you pushed him against the bookshelf, pressing your body close up to him. Again, you were surrounded by his scent which still smelled incredibly good, much to your demise.

He stayed silent, studying you with a tilt of his lips. You stared back up at him. You should be explaining but instead, you seemed to be in a trance over how warm his body was and how his lips were very–

“What’s this?” He finally purred, his voice low.

“Shush,” You whispered. When you realized that he was staring down at your lips, you shut your eyes and pressed your forehead against his chest shyly. “I saw them. I’m trying to hide you.”

“Oh,” He breathed in slight surprise. Then he huffed out with amusement. “I don’t think this is really working,” He teased. “They could still see me. Plus, it seems like it’s you who’s hiding. In my chest specifically.”

Clearing your throat, you lifted your head and looked up at him with embarrassment.

“But that’s kind of you.” He grinned.

“Shh.” You pressed a finger to his lips. He only smiled wider. The two of you stayed in that position for a few more minutes that almost began to feel like hours. His hands were straight at his sides as if he were afraid to touch you. You were still pressed up against him, your hand resting on the bookshelf and the other toying nervously with the hem of your clothes.

Once you were sure that there were no more voices, you pulled away, brushing yourself off. You were about to make a joke to clear the tension that had suddenly built up when you heard a man talk. Specifically, the football captain. The one that Hyunjae had punched.

“Hold on,” He called out to the other boy. “I need a book for my Greek mythology project.”

You glanced at the nearby sign that clearly, ironically, and very unfortunately read Greek Mythology. You turned back to him with panic.

“Hyunjae–”

He stared at you silently. You gasped when you felt a hand snake around your waist.

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

“What?” You replied with alarm. “You’re asking me that now?”

“Do you?” Hyunjae repeated, furrowing his eyebrows.

You gulped. “Yes.”

And in just a second, he had flipped you around so that the ridges of the bookshelf jutted into your back this time. His hand tightened around your waist and his other hand wandered to your upper back.

“Wha–”

“Close your eyes.”

Your mind was already rushing with a million thoughts. But you still followed his order, shakily shutting your eyes closed. That was when you were only left with your sense of hearing, smell, and touch. You could hear him, feel him shuffle closer. You could hear his breath against your ear. Why was he so close? And then you felt his lips–his very warm lips–brush against your neck.

Inhaling sharply, your whole body went rigid.

He didn’t do anything else, you soon realized. He simply lingered on your neck, breathing slowly as his hands continued to pull you closer. Hyunjae had you trapped in his arms, his lips just centimeters away from the spot under your jawline. Yet he never made contact. Except for that accidental brush that sent goosebumps down your whole body.

That was when you heard the guy’s voice again and his footsteps approaching.

“It’s here– what the hell? Nevermind. And get a room.”

And then the footsteps receded.

After what felt like forever, Hyunjae stepped away. He seemed to be experiencing the same effect with the way he was breathing heavily and his cheeks were tinted red. But this was his doing after all.

You opened your mouth and closed it repeatedly, trying to find the words to say. And then you shoved him by the chest.

“What was that for?” You exclaimed. Your hand came up to that same spot on your neck, which felt warm from his breathing. You felt a flush from head to toe. “You almost– kissed me.”

“That was the point,” He replied. “To make it look like we were making out and having the time of our lives.” His eyes continued to linger on your lips and that specific area on your neck. “What perfume do you use? It smells amazing. Pretty like you.”

You froze. And then you groaned with frustration.

“I didn’t– wear perfume today,” You muttered. “And was that the best you could do? We couldn’t– run away? You had to…” You trailed off, the sensation coming back to you all over again. “Do that thing?”

“What thing?” He smirked. “Almost kiss your neck?”

“Yes,” You mumbled. “That.”

He thought for a moment.

“Because,” He whispered, leaning closer. “This is more fun.” He adjusted your crumpled collar, his hands lingering there, before looking back up at you with a teasing smile. “Your ears are red again.”

And then he walked away, leaving you to stare after him in complete shock. Lee Hyunjae was not scary at all. In fact, he made your heart beat faster. Much, much faster.

–

“Can I take you out somewhere?” He had come up to you after all the books had been put away. You still couldn’t quite look him in the eyes. And it seemed that he noticed as his eyes glinted with mischievousness.

“Okay,” You replied, still avoiding his eyes like your life depended on it. “Where to?”

“I’ll tell you when you look me in the eye.”

His finger hooked under your chin, forcing you to anyway. You inhaled sharply.

“I’m looking now,” You whispered with your voice wavering.

“I was thinking, roller-skating?”

Your eyes brightened at that. “Oh yes! That would be so fun. We’re going to have so much fun.” You turned on your heel, bounding out the door.

You missed the way Hyunjae gazed at you with fondness.

–

“This is not fun,” He muttered. His knuckles were practically white with how hard he was holding on to the railing. You giggled at the sight as you easily glided past him. He watched you with a glare.

“Do you need help?” You called out to him, taking note of the way his legs wobbled like a baby deer.

“I do not,” He huffed, trying to save his pride. But then he paused. “Can you… maybe?” Now it was his turn to not look you in the eye.

“Of course.” You smiled, appearing by his side. You held out your hand in which he stared at it in confusion. “Take it,” You urged. “And follow me.”

It was strange to see how easily his flirty persona had completely disappeared at this moment. You liked this side of Hyunjae: his eyes round and nervous, his eyebrows furrowed in frustration, and his lips pulled into a concentrated pout. All it took was for him to choose to go roller skating. Even though he couldn’t even roller-skate himself.

Hesitantly, he took your hand in his. You ignored the way that his fingers and palm fit so perfectly with yours. You also tried to ignore how smooth and warm his hand was. And the fact that you had already felt his hand before. On your waist.

You still never quite got past that moment. Something about the memory put a butterfly-like feeling in your stomach.

“Set your feet wider apart.” You slightly pulled him away from the railing. He looked at you with an adorably nervous expression. You laughed. “When you step, try to lean on each side. So you can balance.”

He followed what you said and soon enough, the two of you were skating down the rink. Smoothly? Not really, with the way he constantly stumbled like a deer learning how to walk. But it was enjoyable, the way he would occasionally smile at you, his hand tightening on yours.

“Hyunjae, you’re a professional now,” You joked.

He scowled adorably. “You’re so funny. You enjoy my embarrassment.”

“Maybe I do,” You snorted. “You’re getting better though.”

He looked at you earnestly. You could see the way the purple and blue lights, lit up every feature of his face, creating a view that could fit perfectly in a soft-colored painting. It seemed that the lighting also affected you as his thumb began to caress your hand.

“You look pretty,” He whispered, only loud enough for you to hear.

You widened your eyes. “Hyunjae–”

“And you make me smile,” He confessed. “So thank you. For trusting me, even when others don’t. I promise I really don’t punch people on the usual.”

You laughed, your eyes crinkling. “Of course I’d trust you. You’re very charming, did you know that?”

He only scrunched his nose in response, but you could see that his ears have tinted red, even under the blue-ish lighting.

“Your ears are red,” You pointed out.

“Haha.” He narrowed his eyes.

–

Now, the two of you were walking home together. Though you did insist that you could do so on your own, he refused to leave your side. He even gave you those stupid puppy eyes that you couldn’t reject.

“Did you have fun?” He peered at you, anxiousness flitting across his expression.

You smiled reassuringly. “Definitely.” And you don’t know why you did it, but you reached forward and took his hand in yours. His eyes went wide in an adorable way as he gazed down at your connected hands. You could even see him struggle to hold back a smile.

Then, he schooled his expression into a teasing one again. The one that you’ve grown to become used to.

“Hey, do you know what this means?”

“That we’re very good friends?” You gazed at him innocently. You held hands with your friends so that must be what it means. Right?

“That we’re— what?” He stared at you in utter disbelief.

“Good friends?” You stared back. His firm grip on your hand loosened slightly at that. “Because we’re hanging out. Are we not?”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought this was a da—“

But then your house came into view. You turned to him with bright eyes.

“We’re here,” You sighed. “Thank you, Hyunjae. For a wonderful hangout.”

“Hangout,” He choked out. He reluctantly let go of your hand as he still held into the tips of your fingers. “Yes, hangout. I had fun.” His smile was almost painful, forced.

You grinned, pulling away, the constant spark between your hands finally being broken. You gave him a small wave in which he did the same.

Lee Hyunjae who was a good friend. A friend who almost kissed you and held your hand the whole night. A great friend.

—

“Am I being friend-zoned?” He muttered to himself, kicking a can that lay astray on the sidewalk.

He mulled over all the possibilities. It was either you were just incredibly oblivious, or you didn’t like him back and were trying to let him off kindly. He sighed, pouting to himself.

His mind darted back to all things regarding you. He would never admit how much you made him blush just over the thought of your smile. And the way you filled him with warmth, he sometimes daydreamed of just pulling you into a hug.

Suddenly, his cheeks began to hurt. Ah. He’s smiling to himself again like a lovesick fool.

“Fine,” He groaned, slapping himself. “I’ll just get over this stupid crush.”

Should be easy.

—

Being president of the student council had its sorrows. When you said that the party was the last event of the year, apparently you were wrong. The principal suddenly wanted you to set up a fundraiser in three days' time.

Not to mention that you had exams to study for and projects to keep you up late at night. You’re not only stressed but a little bit—no—very sleep deprived.

With a pained sigh, you flopped your head on the desk, hitting your forehead with a thump that only worsened your headache. You felt someone poke your shoulder so you were forced to look up.

“Could you please do my homework?” Your classmate pleaded. “I have a date tonight but I’m failing this class.”

Another poke on your shoulder. You turned.

“Can you send me the instructions for the literature project?”

And another except on your back. You turned around again.

“For the fundraiser event, how many tabl–”

Abruptly, you stood up from your desk, your chair creating a loud sound that made everyone else in the classroom jump. You pinched the crease behind your eyebrows.

“I have a headache,” You told all three students who were pleading with you to do their work for them. Two of them simply grumbled and turned away. But one, she was your favorite of all, looked at you with kind eyes.

“You should go to the nurse’s office.”

With a deep breath, you nodded and headed out the door. Again, you were met with a choice–a fork in the road, per se. To your right, was the nurse who could treat your pounding headache. But to your left was the stairway to the rooftop of the school.

You turned left again.

Bursting through the doors, you took a long inhale as you enjoyed the fresh air. Luckily, the weather was bright and blue, perfect for clearing your head. Other than the drawings in your sketchbook, you had another secret. That was the rooftop.

You often came here whenever your brain was fuzzy with unnecessary thoughts. You liked to sit here alone, doodle on a blank page, and just be yourself. All alone.

Except you weren’t.

When you turned to your usual spot, a wall that was at a certain angle where you could see all the prettiest clouds, there was someone else sitting there.

“Hyunjae?” You peered at him.

He looked up at you with slight surprise as he pulled off his earphones. He looked attractive like this. He was sitting against the grey wall, one leg extended. His hair was messy and tousled from the wind and he had that signature smile on. You couldn’t quite tell if it was teasing or genuine. But you liked it anyway.

“Y/n,” He breathed out and then he patted the spot next to him, inviting you to sit. As you did, you immediately felt comfort from the way his shoulder pressed against yours, his warmth taking away that chilling feeling that clouded your mind the past few hours.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, turning to him. You inhaled slightly when you realized just how close he was. You took the time to run your eyes over his soft features, your gaze lingering on his bottom lip for a second longer.

“I hate physics,” He deadpanned. “And you?”

“I’m just tired,” You laughed bitterly. He took note of your tone and he shuffled even closer to you so now your legs were touching.

The two of you fell in silence. You played with your fingers with nervousness. You didn’t even know what you were nervous about. Was it him? Was it the way that he continued to look at you with so much softness in his eyes?

“You know, Hyunjae,” You started, your voice low. “You’re not all too bad.”

He huffed out a laugh. “I thought that we’ve established that a long time ago.”

“But what you said earlier. While roller-skating.” You faced him with a soft tilt of your lips. He gazed back, a strange tenderness behind his expression. “You make me smile too.”

“Oh. That’s… good,” He replied breathlessly. “Did you come here just to tell me that?”

“No.” You rolled your eyes. “I really am tired. You call me dear president but I’m tired of being one. I came here to clear my mind.”

He was quiet for a moment.

“Would you like me to leave?” He questioned.

And he didn’t even move but you were already grasping his wrist in your fingers.

“Stay,” You whispered. “I like being with you.”

His eyes widened at your words and you could even see, under the afternoon light, that his cheeks have tinted pink.

“I’m going to flunk physics class if I keep skipping,” He muttered but he still relaxed next to you.

“I can teach you,” You offered. “When I’m not exhausted.”

“Mhm,” He hummed with amusement. “You do that. When you’re not exhausted.”

You didn’t reply. Instead, you leaned your head on his shoulder. It was warm against your cheek and honestly made a great pillow. You could feel him stiffen for a second but he slowly leaned closer so that your neck wouldn’t hurt. Your fingers stayed on his wrist, holding it loosely as his hand laid out on your lap.

Quietly, he leaned his head against yours, encompassing you in warmth and… something else.

After a while, Hyunjae lifted his head to check up on you, only to find that you had fallen asleep on his shoulder, your cheek smushed (adorably, in his opinion) into it. He was glad that you weren’t awake, or else you would notice how fast his heart was pounding. Then he glanced down to where his hand was still on your lap, your fingers wrapped around gently.

He gulped thickly as he turned away. He couldn’t move but he desperately wanted to. When he had said that he would get over you, it seemed almost impossible now with how strong his feelings had become.

“I really like you,” He whispered. And he hoped that he would one day tell you when you were properly awake.

–

As time passed, you grew closer to Hyunjae. From a student that you had only merely heard rumors about, to a friend in which you’ve started to notice the way his lips moved for some reason.

It also seemed that the principal had forgotten to schedule your last detention. Not that you minded, but it made it harder for you to see him. But of course, he took it as his responsibility to take you out to places whenever he could.

And the rooftop slowly became a two-person thing. Usually, you ended up falling asleep on his shoulder. He would always reassure you that he didn’t mind.

Lately, you’ve noticed that he had grown quiet. A lot more than usual. Of course, he teased you but you’ve also taken note of the way he often liked to just look at you. If you were talking, he would gaze at you with soft eyes. Or if you smiled, he would smile back, looking at you as if you had hung the stars in the sky.

It was the night before school. You had things to prepare but mostly, you laid in bed, bored. But you lifted your head when you heard the doorbell ring. Furrowing your eyebrows and glancing at the time, you realized that you had no deliveries or guests to expect.

Rushing to the door, you turned the knob. You widened your eyes.

Hyunjae. He was dressed in his usual school uniform. Except something was different. His collar was ironed, every button was properly done, and his tie was pulled up correctly. His hair though, was still tousled. It always has been. It reminded you much of a puppy.

In his hands was a bouquet of flowers. Held close to his chest, you could recognize pink roses. You once read in a book that it meant innocent love. He looked straight out of a romance comic book. Charming in his school uniform and lovely with the flowers that complimented his golden skin.

Your eyes traveled down and–

You choked.

There was a small girl on his side. His little sister. She was grinning up at you and you couldn’t help but notice the resemblance. They both had the same deer eyes and an adorable smile. The only difference was her height which only reached up to Hyunjae’s mid-thigh, as well as her chubby cheeks.

You turned to Hyunjae.

“What are you–”

“Babysitting duty,” He blurted out. “But I just need to tell you something. If you would listen.”

You gazed at him for a moment, taking in the sight. He shuffled on his feet and you could tell that he was incredibly nervous.

“Okay,” You replied in surprise. “What is it?”

“I…” He trailed off as if his mind had suddenly gone blank. But then his sister tugged on his hand. He crouched down so that she could whisper in his ear. You watched, completely endeared.

“Right.” He cleared his throat. “I want to tell you that I…” He trailed off again. His cheeks turned red. He looked down at her. “I forgot again.”

His little sister groaned. He smiled sheepishly as he turned back to you.

“I like you.”

Your lungs felt like they were punctured as the pieces all clicked for you, just like they had when you found out his name back in that art room. The flowers in his hands which probably mean everything about romance and the fact that he fixed up his uniform for you; the soft looks whenever you would laugh; his constant flirting that you had imagined to just be his humor; it all meant something.

“You… what?” You uttered.

“I like you. I have for a while,” He said with his voice wavering. “And I was supposed to tell you this huge speech that we–” He glanced down at the small girl. “–prepared together. But I get nervous around you so I forgot.”

“Hyunjae…”

“And I don’t know if you return my feelings.” He frowned. “But I just wanted to tell you that I have this gigantic crush on you. She would know.” He gestured to her again. “She always points out how I’m always blushing.”

“Blushing?” You widened your eyes.

“Because I’m thinking of you,” Hyunjae whispered.

“Oh,” You breathed. “But why me?”

“I love everything about you.” He gave you a soft smile. That same one that you seem to see every day now. “Your smile is pretty. You’re just very beautiful. Inside and out. All the time.”

You felt like your face was on fire and that you might just suffocate from how fast your heart was beating.

He sighed, noticing your silence. “You don’t have to return your feelings or say anything ye–”

“I like you too,” You squeaked.

His lips parted at that, the flowers falling to his side. “You do?”

“Yes, I think.” You smiled sheepishly. “I’m new to this, Hyunjae.”

He grinned, looking at you teasingly. “I can guide you, dear president.”

“Don’t call me that,” You groaned.

“I can call you anything,” He muttered, stepping closer. You looked up at him, your eyes studying his soft expression. “Gorgeous.” He tucked a piece of hair around your ear.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered.

“Or would you prefer breath-taking?” He teased.

“Neither.” You squeezed your eyes shut.

“It seems that you like both, sweetheart.”

“Mister,” You warned. “There is a child present.”

He widened his eyes and he stepped away immediately as if he had just remembered. Hastily, he turned to his little sister who was staring up at the two of you innocently.

“If you speak of this to mom…” He narrowed his eyes. “She’s going to kill me, you know?”

The girl only giggled and made a zipping motion to her mouth.

You snorted at the sight.

“Hyunjae,” You spoke up again. “How long have you liked me?”

He smiled. “A long time. You’re awfully oblivious, Y/n. That time we went roller-skating was meant to be a date. And why do you brush off my flirting everytime?”

You stuttered, “I– I’m sorry. I thought–”

He laughed, gazing at you fondly. “As long as you know now.”

You hummed, leaning against the doorway. “I guess you have me now, handsome.” You looked at him slyly.

His eyes were adorably wide now. He straightened up. “Repeat that?”

“Handsome?”

“Yes, that,” He breathed out.

“Handsome.”

He turned to face his little sister. “Hold this.” He placed the bouquet of flowers in her small hands. And then he immediately stepped forward and hooked a hand around your waist. He quickly pulled you in, causing you to stumble slightly and fall into his chest. Steadying you with a small smile, he brought you into a kiss without a warning.

You gasped in surprise but you slowly relaxed into it. Your hands wandered to the back of his neck, causing him to hum with satisfaction. The kiss was soft and innocent with barely any movement and his lips were even softer than you imagined. You could sense that he was going to deepen it but you were interrupted by a small, “Gross!”

The two of you pulled apart, only to see that his little sister had cutely stuck her tongue out. He scowled playfully before reaching down to pick her up in his arms, as she tightly held onto the flower bouquet in her small hands.

“This was your idea in the first place, dummy,” He grumbled, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead, causing her to laugh adorably. You smiled at the sight.

Lee Hyunjae wasn’t scary at all. In fact, he was just a huge softie who had fallen in love with you.

–

You could be going on dates with Hyunjae but instead, you were still serving detention with him. After your first kiss with him, it seemed that the day after, the principal suddenly remembered to schedule your detention time.

With a sigh, you swept the classroom. Classroom 1-B, specifically Hyunjae’s classroom.

“I daydreamed a lot about you here.” He brushed past you with a small smirk.

Your cheeks flushed. “About… what?”

“A lot.” He walked past you again, this time letting his hands fall to your waist for a moment. You inhaled sharply at the sensation. “Your lips.”

You gulped, turning to him. To no surprise, he was staring straight at your lips.

“I daydreamed about hugging you.” He suddenly appeared behind you, wrapping his arms around you into a firm back hug. You couldn’t help but smile at the way he nuzzled his nose into your shoulder.

“Hyunjae,” You whispered. “We’re supposed to be cleaning right now.”

He smiled, holding you tightly. His lips only hovered over that spot on your neck. The spot that he had almost kissed back in the library.

“But we’re alone. Just the two of us,” He muttered back. You swallowed thickly, willing yourself not to let your eyes wander down. The whole day, during classes, you kept thinking of them. What it would be like to kiss them again.

Really, your only kiss with him was the one on your porch. The one that was interrupted by his little sister.

“We have responsibilities,” You shakily replied.

“But don’t you want to know about my last daydream?” He pulled away, his hand still placed on your hip.

You breathed deeply, knowing very well that your ears were red right now, which he loved to point out.

“What… is it?” You glanced at him nervously.

“I daydream about kissing you.” He leaned close from behind, letting his lips brush against the side of your cheek. And you had hoped. Really hoped that he would whip you around and pull you into a deep kiss. But much to your disappointment, he only walked by, off to pick up some crumpled test papers.

With a groan of frustration, you set your broom down.

“You can’t just say that and not–” You sighed, shutting your eyes with embarrassment. “Not kiss me.”

His eyes sparkled at that but he only spared you a glance.

“But apparently you think cleaning a classroom is more important,” He hummed. “I respect your opinion. So I guess you’ll just have to wait for my kiss.”

You glared at him for a moment. But he only tilted his head, his lips quirking up slightly. With an annoyed sigh, you picked the broom up and began to sweep the floor again. This time, a little bit faster and more aggressively.

Hyunjae only chuckled at your actions.

And purposely, like the absolute lunatic he is, he would brush past you, letting his hands trail somewhere on his body. Every time, you would scrunch your eyebrows, trying to contain the sudden need to grab his collar and pull him into a harsh kiss.

“Focus.”

“Shut up.” You glared.

“You can shut me up later.” His eyes again, traveled downwards.

Once you were sure that the floor was clean enough, you practically threw the broom off somewhere. Storming over to where he was waiting for you, leaning back against the teacher’s desk, you faced him.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” You said.

He smiled. “Should I?”

You frowned. “Because we’re finished so–”

“Can’t get enough of me?” He quirked his head. He stood up. Again, you were reminded of just how tall he was. “Can’t stop thinking of my lips?” He took a step forward. You took a step backward, blinking nervously.

“What are you doing?” You whispered.

“You want to kiss me so bad, don’t you?” He teased, continuously backing you up. “That you rushed all of your cleaning just so you could press your lips to mine?”

You gasped when you realized the back of your thighs hit a student’s desk. He only continued to step closer, forcing you to sit up on the desk. He watched you with a glint in his eyes. And then he stepped in between your legs, caging you between his arms and hovering over you with his hands resting on the desk on either side of you.

“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, your hands resting on his chest.

“So should we do this properly?” He asked, his voice dropping to a low tone. His gaze followed your lips, making you hold your breath. “Since she’s not here.”

Out of context, this would sound like a horrible love affair. But you only snorted since you knew that he was talking about his little sister.

“Are you saying that your sister is a bother?” You laughed.

“No.” He grinned. “But I can’t afford her to witness this.”

“Witness what?”

He smiled. “You know what I’m talking about.”

“Enlighten me,” You whispered.

“Should I?” He chuckled softly, as he shuffled even closer so that your chest was against his. You could even feel his breath fan over your lips. He tilted his head with a lazy smile.

You laughed, leaning your forehead against his. “Yes,” You whispered. “Or else I’ll take the lead.”

“I would love to see that,” He teased.

And much to his surprise, you took hold of his collar, and you finally, finally, pulled him against your lips. He let out a muffled sound but he almost instantly melted against you.

Groaning with satisfaction, his hands came off the desk, instead choosing to take hold of your lower back and waist, his fingers digging into your skin. This kiss was much, much different from your first one. This one was filled with a flame that couldn’t be put out. As his lips moved against yours fervently, one hand traveled down to the side of your thigh where he pulled you closer.

You hummed as you tangled your fingers in his soft hair, tilting your head to deepen the kiss. Easily, he obliged, kissing you so hard that you felt your hands go weak, going slack and resting on his chest. He never seemed to slow down either, only breaking away so that he could find his way under your jawline.

“So this finally happens,” He muttered. And he leaned back in, kissing down until he found that spot–the one that he had only lingered on before in a rickety library. Now, he was pressing kisses to your skin as he meant it. You gasped at the feeling.

“Hyunjae,” You breathed out, tugging at his collar as you tilted your head against the sensation. You could even feel him begin to smile against your neck.

“Perfume?” He whispered.

“None,” You gasped.

He pulled away, searching your eyes with so much softness you felt like you could just melt right then and there. “You smell good. Sweet like candy.”

“Shut up,” You grumbled, leaning forward so that you could hide your face in his chest. His hands came to the small of your back, pulling you into a hug. It was gentle and innocent, much different from the kiss.

And then his hand came under your chin, lifting you up so that he could press his lips to yours. This time, the two of you savored the moment, moving slowly. Both of your eyes were shut and your cheeks flushed.

“She’s only five years old,” He whispered against your lips, breaking apart reluctantly. You could tell that he was trying to catch his breath as his hands wandered across your waist. “This is PG-13.” He grinned.

You laughed. Or you tried to until he shut you up with another kiss.

“You look beautiful,” He said, his eyes gentle on yours.

“And you look like a mess.”

“And who’s fault is that?” He glanced down at his crumpled collar where you had grabbed it and initiated the kiss in the first place. You smiled up at his messy hair and his pink cheeks. Then your eyes met again.

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Please.”

And he did so, pulling you closer by the waist. You were so focused on his lips that you hadn’t noticed the voices out in the hallway.

“We just need to get the flyers for–”

The door creaked open. The two of you broke apart. You looked down at the way he had you pressed up on a desk and you choked. It must be an odd sight, seeing the so-called quiet, intimidating student making out with the picture-perfect president of the student council.

And it was Younghoon and Sunwoo–members of said council. Their eyes were wide and their mouths had dropped open. Sunwoo had even let go of the book in his hand, causing a loud thump on the floor. Younghoon’s eyes trailed from both of your spit-slicked, swollen lips down to where you were all up against each other, Hyunjae’s hand still on your waist.

You stared back and Hyunjae only pulled away slightly with a smug smirk.

Sunwoo’s eye twitched.

“What the fu–”

#deoboyznet #fics 💞#requests 💞#hyunjae fluff #hyunjae x reader #the boyz imagines #the boyz reactions #the boyz fluff #tbz fluff #tbz imagines #the boyz x reader #tbz x reader #the boyz scenarios

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byuntrash101 · 1 year ago

Text

what you deserve

soft dom!juyeon x f!reader x mean dom!hyunjae smut | mdni 4.2k your bf younghoon is just a dick... your best friends just want to show you what you deserve nsfw tags under the cut

slut shaming reader (hj calls her easy), lots of teasing, fingering (because have you seen juyeon's hands? gotta put those to use), begging, pet names (princess, doll, baby, kitten), praising, degradation (slut, whore), slight dumbification, nipple play, unprotected sex but reader is on the pill (these stunts are performed by professionnals don't try this at home), spitroasting/eiffel tower, multiple orgasms (f), oral (m), creampie, double penetration, anal

a/n: would you believe me if i said it took 1 whole ass fucking year to finish this? (yes i started writing on the 1st October 22) (smh)

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Deep down you knew it wasn’t true. You knew Younghoon couldn’t be your soulmate. Most of the time he would ditch you to go hang out with his friends and not return your calls or texts for the whole night then turn up home completely drunk and smelling of an other woman's perfume, even if he denied it every time. So saying Younghoon wasn’t the best boyfriend was to say the least an understatement.

Deep down you knew that. You knew he didn’t really love you but just used you for entertainment purposes.

So why? Why? Did you still believe that little voice in your head? Despite the sleepless nights, despite the countless tears shed, despite the pain. You still believed you two had a chance, you still believed you could fix him…

But did you still love him?

“What are you doing?” the stern voice of Hyunjae erupted from beside you, sitting with you on the comfortable and cushioned couch, making you jump and hurriedly hide your screen from his scrutinizing eyes.

“Huh? Hmm… Nothing” you lied, quickly typing out the rest of your text to your boyfriend.

“She’s talking to Younghoon” Juyeon snitched, seated right at your other side, as he perfectly accomplished a dangerous maneuver with Princess Peach’s pink kart securing the first place right in front of Hyunjae.

Hyunjae groaned but you didn’t know if it was because he was certain to lose the race or if it was well… because of you.

“Y/N!” He shouted putting the controller down before even finishing the race.

Well… you knew now.

“I can’t believe you’re still with that fucking asshole” Hyunjae whistled through gritted teeth.

You knew Hyunjae despised Younghoon, hence why you were trying to hide away the screen from the eyes of your best friend. But as you turned the device the other way Juyeon snatched it from your hands.

“What did she send ?” Hyunjae avidly asked.

“Please don’t read it” you asked Juyeon, pleading eyes bordering on begging to preserve the ridiculous trace amount of pride you had left and not read yet another text in which you bent over backwards for your ungrateful boyfriend.

“I’m not gonna read it” Juyeon declared. You exhaled in relief while Hyunjae scoffed. “But I am going to take it away for the rest of the night”.

“What? Please give it back” you tried to reach for it but Juyeon was way taller and had longer arms there was no way you would be able to take it back from him.

“No. Just enjoy a fun gaming night with us. Okay?” Juyeon smiled at you with that adorable eye smile that you’ve been unable to say no to since middle school.

“Fine”

You played a little more Mario Kart but it was as if the atmosphere had changed.

“Can I ask you something ?” Juyeon finally asked.

There he goes again… You thought.

The three of you were best friends for almost as long as you could remember and you knew them like the back of your hands.

When something awkward like that happened Hyunjae and yourself would rather ignore it and you would give each other time to forgive and forget but not Juyeon. He would just bluntly speak his truth.

“Sure” you said as you paused the game and Hyunjae groaned again.

“Why him?” Juyeon asked, putting his phone down. You sighed in annoyance and the

question.

“I don’t know, Juyeon, OK? I don't know why I love him.” You said as you rubbed your aching temple.

“You can do so much better though!” He protested while Hyunjae looked at you with stern eyes.

“You deserve someone that’s going to be thoughtful and kind” Juyeon almost whispered with his deep voice, bringing the back of his hand to your cheek.

With this simple touch the atmosphere had changed again. Juyeon’s cat-like eyes fixed on your lips, leaning dangerously as you felt his warm reassuring touch on your cheek. It felt safe and somehow you didn’t have it in you to pull away.

“Someone like me? Maybe?” he murmured, his lips grazing yours. He paused right there. Giving you one last chance to pull away, to remain faithful to your morals but… how could you? You felt the heat radiating from his face and his soft breath fanning your cheeks. You didn’t want him to stop.

So he leaned in to close the distance between your lips and finally kissed you. The electric charge from the thrill of kissing your best friend traveled from your lips all the way down to your core, making your guts stir in excitement.

Juyeon’s hand moved from your cheek to your nape to gently press your lips further onto his own, slightly parting them to let his tongue lap at yours. Heat pulled in your lower stomach while your eyelids fluttered close, losing yourself in this kiss. Juyeon’s large palm sliding up your thigh as he kissed you softly.

“Right, my princess? “ he whispered, breaking the kiss, leaving your lips yearning for more, you nodded, looking at him through your lashes when you heard Hyunjae scoff behind you.

The brief sound brought you back to reality. You whipped your head to your side where you are greeted by the icy cold gaze of the older one, eyeing you scornfully.

“You’re wasting your time” he said, maintaining the unwavering eye contact. “She doesn’t care about this…” he brought his hand to your cheek caressing slightly before he shifted to entangle his slender fingers around your hair “She only likes pain” he said before suddenly giving a quick and sharp pull, ripping from your lips a surprised whimper, which made Hyunjae smirk evilly.

“I knew it” he whispered, bending over you and pressing his hot lips to your cheek. "You only yearn to be treated like the little whore that you are. You want to be my little slut. Want me to hurt you, huh?" he said before he used your hair again to make you turn your head, breaking your neck into position and crashing his lips onto yours. The difference with Juyeon was blatant, overwhelming even. Hyunjae was devouring you. It was clear he wasn’t intending to ask for anything. He was demanding, he was taking what was his. And you were ready to give it all up to him… To them.

You felt Juyeon’s rough hands wrap around your waist from behind while he planted soft kisses and bites from your nape to your ear. Licking and nibbling around it while you felt his hands make quick work of rolling up your skirt past your waist line. You gasped when his large palm brushed against the thin skin of your inner thigh which Hyunjae saw as an opportunity to kiss you even deeper as you moaned into his mouth.

“Spread your legs for me, doll” Juyeon cooed, lips still pressed to the wet patch of skin on your neck. “Good girl” he praised when you did. His large palm brushed over your clothed center and you arched your back in an unpremeditated reflex, pushing your hips forward onto the older man. You felt Hyunjae’s lips pull into a sly smirk.

“Really?” he said, breaking the kiss “Already offering yourself like this?” he chuckled. "You're so fucking easy. Anyone could get it with you"

You whimpered and squirmed in embarrassment but kept your legs wide open nonetheless, which Hyunjae didn’t fail to notice. He scoffed.

“What a little slut you are” he drew back, eyes sweeping across your whole figure to finally settle on your most private part.

When Juyeon finally pushed your panties to the side and let the living room ceiling light shine directly on your center you felt like you were going to faint from the adrenaline rapidly rushing to your brain, making your breath itch in your throat. Hyunjae caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Look at that we barely even touched you and you’re already this wet?” Hyunjae spat with one cocked eyebrow, peering at your slicked and glistening folds with disdain.

You opened your mouth to talk back, to defend yourself but you could only deeply sigh in bliss as Juyeon's rough hand brushed against your unclothed bundle of nerves. And it was only then that you realized how right Hyunjae was and how wet you actually were.

Your wetness had soaked through the panties and was nearly dripping down to the floor. Juyeon had no trouble gathering and spreading it all over you. He gently and slowly circled your swollen nub, teasing it, lewd wet and squelching sounds erupting from the shameless act. Making you inexorably wetter and hungry for more.

He kept teasing you slowly as he laid wet kisses on the side of your neck, heavily breathing into your ear while Hyunjae palmed his hard member through his tighter-than-ever pants thoroughly enjoying you being spread in full display for him.

After what felt like hours of teasing you finally gathered the courage to protest in the form of a tiny high pitched whimper.

“What's wrong, my baby?” Juyeon huffed into your ear before sucking on your lobe, the heat from his mouth raised goosebumps on your skin.

“Please” you mustered, barely above a whisper.

“Please what?” he asked as you felt his lips on your neck being pulled into a smirk.

“Please I want your fingers inside me” you murmured as if you almost didn’t want the words you were speaking to actually be heard but to no avail. Both of your best friends heard you clear as day.

“Pathetic” Hyunjae said as he seemed to be palming himself with more pressure, looking anything but displeased.

“Anything for you, my princess” Juyeon cooed and immediately sunk his middle finger inside you, a disproportionately large palm resting over your mound. He circled his finger deep inside and you felt his blunt nail graze on your g spot which made you whimper and throw your head back, resting it on his shoulder.

The dull pleasure was making your head spin so much that you didn’t even hear when Hyunjae unzipped his jeans and slipped out of his boxers.

“Yeah finger fuck her. I’ll fuck her throat” he scoffed while he approached you, hard dick in hand. “Come here” he said as he forcefully pulled you towards him. The hot tip pressed against your closed mouth and precum glazed your bottom lip.

As if the stars aligned, at the exact same time as Hyunjae pushed his cock past your lips Juyeon slipped a second finger inside you, thick and long fingers stretching you out so perfectly. You moaned as Hyunjae slipped inside you, his taste spreading on your tongue, adding even more fuzz to your already foggy thoughts.

“Fuck” he said under his breath, grabbing a fistfull of your hair, bending your neck backwards and forcing you to look up at him. The pain on your scalp took your mind off the rising pleasure Juyeon was inflicting on you and you looked up at the older male with teary eyes while he kept on pushing his dick inside your wet mouth until he had to force the last couple of centimeters down your throat. And he stayed there. Look down at you as you choked on his length.

“Such a good girl for us. You take him so well, baby” Juyeon praised you as he picked up the pace, making your eyes roll back. “So pretty all stretched out and wet for us.”

“Keep your mouth open” Hyunjae whispered before finally pulling out to let you have a quick breather before he smashed his hips back into your face, setting a rapid rhythm. The burning sensation in your throat made your heart race and as Juyeon was having his way with you, circling and flicking your clit you felt the precious build up of your release forming in the pit of your stomach.

“Fuck” Hyunjae groaned as he kept on the furious pace. “It’s like this mouth was made for me. Perfectly fitted little cocksleeve” he tugged at your hair again, making you moan on his length.

You almost lost your mind when Juyeon brought his second hand to circle your clit as the other one was still pumping in and out of you. Your muffled moans grew louder on Hyunjae’s cock, the vibrations making him shiver.

“Baby you’re so tight” Juyeon murmured in your hot ear. “You wanna cum?” he asked, slipping a third finger inside you and you almost came on the spot as you were deliciously stretched out top and bottom by your best friends. “You can cum, kitten.”

It’s the only thing you needed as your body was waiting for this command to immediately let go of the knot. You quivered and moaned, while your jaw went lax around Hyunjae. Your center tightly gripping on Juyeon’s digits, desperate to ever let them go. Twitching and spasming in delicious bliss.

“Good girl” Juyeon cooed as he gradually slowed down allowing you to ride off your high at your own speed.

“I can’t believe you fucking came already.” Hyunjae spat at you with mean eyes as he pulled his cock from your agape mouth, you took a deep breath and sighed in bliss.

But you looked down when you felt two hands going up your thighs and you were met with Hyunjae’s glacial eyes.

“You won’t need that anymore” without a heads up he tore away your panties, ripping them to shreds with a grunt as you gasped in surprise. “I want to know how this little pussy feels like” he whispered through gritted teeth, eyeing you like candy, avid hands pulling at your hips to bring you closer to the edge on the couch. In some kind of protective reflex you wanted to close your legs but Juyeon hands that were still glistening with your wetness kept them open.

“Can you be a good girl for us and keep your legs nice and spread like this?” his deep voice asked softly. The tone was soft, slightly contrasting with the strong grasp on both your thighs.

You nodded.

“Good girl”

Hyunjae didn't wait for a second. He brought his scolding hot tip to your folds and glazed himself into your juices, thoroughly coating his length as he pumped his fist around it a couple of times before pushing the tip in.

Immediately your eyes rolled to the back of your skull and your arch your back into the couch, biting your bottom lip trying not to moan. That attempt turned out to be a failure as Hyunjae progressed inside your wet heat. When he bottomed out you let out a small cry of pleasure. As Juyeon felt your thighs twitch lightly he withdrew his hands to bring them up to your chest and kneed your breasts. His large hands lifted your top and pulled on your bra releasing your beautiful tits which made Hyunjae grunt as he fucked himself inside your cunt. Juyeon’s big palm laid over the two lumps of sensitive flesh and worked them gently, his fingers curling around your nipples to roll them around.

“So pretty, baby” Juyeon cooed into your ear, looking over your shoulder at how your tits bounced every time Hyunjae drilled his cock into you. Juyeon can’t take it anymore, he also wants to know how you feel around him and you feel him slip from behind you. You instantly miss his warm hands over your body. But the disappointment is short-lived. Because you feel his hand softly wrap around your jaw, pulling your face to look up at him. Your gaze quickly dropped from his gentle eyes to his thick cock laying heavily in his hands as he pumped himself a couple of times approaching the wet tip to your lips.

Instinctively your lips parted to let your tongue swipe and have a taste of his essence. Which made Juyeon hiss in pleasure, fist growing stronger around his cock, making the veins of his forearm pop. He drove his cock into your mouth, earning a low grunt from him. You lips painfully stretched to accommodate to Juyeon’s girth.

“Fuckk” he cursed under his breath. “Such a good girl taking my cock like this”. He said wrapping his long fingers around your nape, giving you an encouraging push. You didn’t need more to quicken your pace, gobbling his cock as far as you could manage without hesitation.

“What a fucking whore” Hyunjae grunted as he gave you one particularly strong thrust, the sharp pleasure making you moan on Juyeon’s length. “You love cock so much? Look at you swallowing his cock like it’s your only goal in life?” He picked up the pace smashing his hips into yours. Your attention switching from Juyeon to Hyunjae. “Is that it? Your only goal is to be filled with cocks?”

“Phhfuckk” you attempted to say, your mouth full to the brim.

“So pretty baby.” Juyeon cooed as he started to thrust into your mouth when your attention got diverted. “So pretty full of cocks”

The coil in your guts tightened again as your gaze fluttered between Jueyon’s soft smile and Hyunjae’s mean eyes. Once again close to the edge.

“Keep going. She’s going to cum” Juyeon said to his friend. Not daring to take his eyes off your wet ones. Hyunjae scoffed.

“Again?” he said, gripping your thighs tighter and drilling his cock into you harder as he felt your cunt clamp around him, dangerously fluttering. “Go ahead and cum. It’s all you’re good for.” he said, one hand leaving your thigh to slap against your cunt. The pain made you choke on Juyeon.

“Fuck” he grunted while you mumbled intelligibly, earning another slap before Hyunjae started to draw small and quick circles on your swollen and painful little clit.

That made you cross the edge again. Your body shook against Hyunjae’s relentless hips. Your pussy clenching around him and fluttering in delicious and intoxicating pleasure. Screams of bliss muffled by Juyeon’s length, making him shiver, bucking his hips into your mouth a little harsher.

Hyunjae pulled out quickly and wanted to stuff you back but was interrupted by Juyeon.

“Come on man, it’s my turn now” Juyeon said, taking his dick out of your mouth, letting you take deep breaths as you slowly came down from your high.

“Fine” Hyunjae spat as he got out of between your legs. “I was almost done” he mumbled.

Juyeon sat beside you on the couch once again he looked at you and patted his thighs.

“Ride me baby” he said and you immediately hopped on his lap. Your tits shoved in his face he took a deep breath, letting his brain be soaked with the pheromone filled smell of sex that was imprinted into your sweaty skin.

You took his length between your fingers and pumped a couple of times before you sunk your hips into his cock.

“Ffffuck” Juyeon sighed, before licking a big stripe between your tits, collecting the glistening sweat.

Hyunjae didn’t miss one second of the show. He pumped his cock as he watched you bounce on his friend’s cock. Looking attentively at the way your pussy spread wide to take him in, spitting him out covered with your slick, all of that forming a beautiful soundtrack of moans, grunts and squelching wet sounds.

Hyunjae kept on fisting his rock hard and dripping cock as the same rhythm as you lifted your hips and let them smash back down.

“How is it in there, dude?” he asked Juyeon.

“F-fucking great” he responded not taking your tits out his mouth.

“Yeah I know. Slutty cunts are the best. Because they just suit anyone.” He said letting his free hand slap your ass. Making you arch your back and bounce even harder. A silent plea for more. And it’s exactly what you got. “And this one she’s one real easy whore. Letting anyone fuck her raw” He spanked your ass again, even harder this times, leaving a beautiful print behind on your skin. “Isn’t it right, slut?”

“Yesssss!!!!” you panted, bouncing even harder, the familiar build up heating up in your guts again, Juyeon’s large hands gripping the underside of your thighs and aiding you bounce on him while he muffled his moans in your chest. “I’m a slut a real fucking whore for you. I love both your cocks so much”

“Is that so?” Hyunjae said, tilting his head, his lips being pulled in a sly smirk as an idea blossomed in his lust soaked mind.

He approached his tip to your ass, rubbing his hard-on on your cheeks. Before leaning over and spitting a big wad right into your pucker. Making the hole blink.

“Since you love our cock so much. You don’t mind me taking your ass, right?” he said pressing his tip still wet with your slick into your only available hole.

“Oh G-god” you chocked when you felt your ass being spread open.

“Please” Hyunjae chuckled still pushing inside you. “Just call me Hyunjae” he said cockily as he pushed the last inch into your bottomless hole.

“Fuckkk it feels so good” he cried out stopping your hips, your nails digging into Juyeon’s shoulders, urging him to fuck up into your cunt. He did so immediately. His dick grazing against Hyunjae’s inside your ass.

“Fuckk” the older one hissed when he felt the coming and going of his friend through the small membrane that separated both your holes.

He started to fuck into your asshole as soon as you looked accustomed to him. He loved to watch the way your asshole dragged into his cock every time he pulled out just to welcome him back into your warmth once he pushed back in.

“Fuck baby you’re so good to us” Juyeon as lightly tugging at your erect nipple with his teeth. “So pretty for us. So fucking good.” He panted fucking his hips uo into you, making your pussy cream around him, wet sounds bouncing of the walls.

He was so close. So fucking close he could taste it.

“Fuck kitten. I’m going to cum soon” he said, grip growing stronger on your thighs.

“Yeah please. Please!! Please fill me up!” you urged when you felt another slap into your ass.

“What a filthy fucking slut begging for cum like that” Hyunjae groaned. “Want mine too whore?”

“Yees fuck please. yesyesyesyesyes!!!” you chanted, feeling both of your holes grip around the cock that were both plowing into you, rearranging your guts so deliciously.

“Then fucking take it” Hyunjae says slipping his hand into your hair and pulling harshly. Letting his cock pump your ass full of tasty hot cum, his hips absolutely rutting into your ass, grunting and moaning. So much so that it made the cum spill out and drip on his friend's cock. But both of them couldn’t care less.

“Fuck baby. ‘m- c-” Juyeon can’t even bring himself to make full sentences and follows right after Hyunjae. You feel his enormous cock twitch inside you, delivering an ungodly amount of white hot cum right in the deepest part of you, if it wasn’t for the pill you were taking you’d be sure to be knocked up right away. His dick brush again against your soft spot and the way you feel both your holes filled with cum make you tip over the edge. And you find yourself squirting all over both their dicks in a pleasure filled scream. Your juices spray out of you in big streams, completely soaking Juyeon laid under you which makes his hips stutter a little. This orgasm is the most intense one of the night, making both your holes flutter. Your cunt clenching around Juyeon and your asshole blinking around Hyunjae while you pant and moan in complete euphoria.

The next few instants are a blur. None of you speak, only pants and sighs can be heard. All three of you, piled up on top of each other, drained and content. But the blissful silence is interrupted by the low vibrations of a phone..

A phone? your phone!

Juyeon haphazardly reaches into the pocket of his jeans laying somewhere near and holds the device to you.

You have dozens of unread texts from Younghoon and even more missed calls. Poor thing… he’s not used to you going silent on him. Not his precious and naive girlfriend.

You pushed your messy hair out of your face and picked up the call.

“Yeah?” you say voice sounding a little rough, nothing surprising given the things that were just in your mouth and roughing up your throat.

“What the fuck are you doing? Why aren't you answering my texts?” Younghoon asks, panic seeping in his rushed voice.

Hyunjae chuckled coldly behind you.

“Come cuddle, baby.” Juyeon said, pouting so much it was audible.

“WHO THE FUCK IS THAT???? Y/N??? IS THAT JUYEON???”

“Hmmmm” you hesitated before Hyunjae snatched the phone from behind you.

“You guys are done. Don’t call her again”

“WHAT THE F-”

bip bip bip

IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤

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mars101 · 5 months ago

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Haunted To Meet You

☆ PAIRING/S = burglar!hyunjae x spirit!reader

☆ GENRE = angst, absolutely ZERO romance, uhm spooky (not but the setting is ig)

☆ WARNINGS = hyunjae breaks into a manor, and steals, and doesn't get caught. you're already dead, uhm reader gets played kinda?? (sorry..)

☆ WORD COUNT = 1.6k

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★ SYNOPSIS = after a successful break in at the empty manor in the forest, hyunjae not only steals precious valuables but also the heart of a lost spirit

★ RELEASE DATE = 11.01.24 (idc if its a day late from halloween.)

★ AUTHOR’S WELCOME = happy halloween season ! (NOT) who's ready to watch mars disappear for months again??? ok have fun i love yall

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Hyunjae was rich. Not in the conventional way, though, as he robbed people. Rich or poor, it didn't matter to him as long as he could make a profit. And he wasn't the only one in his friend group to hurt innocent people, too. Crypto scams, conning, fraud, cyber crimes, and even flat-out identity theft were an easy way for the friends to live the life they always wanted.

But even if you're in a group of intelligent people, you're still with a group of men. Which is why Hyunjae found himself at the abandoned manor in the woods during late October. A bet caused Hyunjae and Eric to compete on who can bring the most valuable objects out without getting spooked.

“Get ready to watch the footage of you losing later, Hyunjae~” Eric says, pointing a finger in front of the other male’s face as his other hand connects his stolen Meta Ray-Ban glasses to his phone. “Alright boys, you’re watching the winners' pov right now, it’s me, Eric! Ready to—”

“We can all hear you Eric…” A voice comes through an earpiece the two have in to hear the others and the rules for the bet. “Anyways.. you’ve got an hour and a half. No running off, no stealing what the other had already claimed, and yeah. 1,2,3 go-” At the sudden countdown, the two men quickly bolted to the manor’s entrance. Hyunjae deciding to open the front doors by giving it a few hard kicks while Eric uses a random rock to break the fragile windows.

When the door was forced open, it was like a cool gust of air engulfed Hyunjae's body as he took in the sight of the dark and grand interior. “You have a flashlight, right?” Hyunjae asks the man jumping through the window before taking out his own flashlight. Eric doesn’t reply, but instead, he pulls out a flashlight and quickly flashes the bright light in Hyunjae’s eyes. “See you around.. or not!” he grins before running off to a random corridor.

Opposite to Eric’s instincts to explore everything, Hyunjae takes his time to look around the entrance, taking notice of the many paintings that lead to the staircase in the middle of the place. But a few old paintings wasn’t going to satisfy his need to find a more valuable object. This is why he found himself following the wind blowing through the front door (and Eric’s window) heading up the grand staircase.

A creak on each step made Hyunjae more aware of his surroundings, the flashlight in his hands now being moved from side to side quickly than before. The closer he got to the second floor, the more uneased he felt. There was a chill running through his back, the hair on his arms were starting to stick up, and a faint whisper was heard in his ear. Usual factors when walking through an abandoned building but it’s different as Hyunjae has never experienced this, but also, there’s a visible silhouette among the shadows beckoning him down the never-ending hallway.

“Holy shit- Hello??” Hyunjae calls out to the figure as he blinks his eyes open and close again and again, hoping that it's just a figure of his imagination. In response to his hello, Hyunjae watches as the figure walks towards a room in the empty hall. The slightly ajar door starts to slowly creak open as the figure floats past it. “Oh my god, are you kidding me? Why does it have to be me?” he mumbles as the voices in his ear (the guys) get louder.

‘follow it!’

‘say hi’

‘this guy thinks he's the main character.. ’

The buzzing of the constant voices coming through makes Hyunjae irritated. To the point where he pulls out the earpiece in frustration and shoves the tiny electronic in his pocket. Grumbles of mumbles leave his mouth as he walks down the hallway. His eyes try not to look into the room the figure went into, but when he walks by the door opens wider, as if it's welcoming him in.

With the sight of the dark curtains draped over the grand windows and numerous white cloths covering furniture, his head is saying not to go in. But his heart is pounding against his chest at the idea of what he’ll find. Hyunjae steps closer to the doorway, his feet having a mind of their own as they lead him into the room.

Once both of his feet are planted inside of the room, he freezes. Instantly, he feels the chill run down his back again. As if a hand was trailing down his spine. His eyes dart around the room, he's too anxious to look behind him so he tries to find comfort in what's in front of him, and he does.

All of the nerves on his body leave him as soon as he takes sight of the pendants and jewels by the window. His shoulders that felt like they had the weight of a hundred men are now as light as a feather as he ignores everything else around him and makes his way torwards the windowsill.

A breathy ‘holy shit’ leaves his mouth as Hyunjae's eyes look over the gems. Some pieces are broken off from each other or cracked. But the value of them are still there. Out of all the pieces, one pendant stands out from the rest. A red oval-cut ruby that shines with the moonlight seeping through the window's curtains.

“Beautiful, isn't it?”

Hyunjae looks beside him and jumps as the ghastly figure takes form beside him. The slightly misty air slowly conjures itself into the shape of a person. The figure takes no mind to Hyunjae's reaction as their fingers ghost over the pendant's gem.

“When I was alive, it was a gift from my father.. He said it's as beautiful as the heart inside of me.” The figure whispers out into the atmosphere. With the sign of no malicious intent from the ghost, Hyunjae comes closer to the windowsill, his hands hovering over the many jewels and stopping above the ghost's ‘heart’.

“So you're dead.? Why are you still here? In this.. dark and scary manor..” Hyunjae asks, his eyes never leaving the ‘heart’.

“I'm trapped.”

“Trapped?”

Hyunjae finally takes one look at the ghost and notices the sad look that fills the apparition's eyes. “Trapped in the manor?”

“Not only that.. But my soul's in there.” The ghost softly points a finger to the pendant. Hyunjae's finger gets cold as the spirit's own finger gets closer. “All of the other pendants are broken because everyone else was able to escape. I'm the only one left..”

“Ohh..” His hands pick up the pendant, playing with it in his hand. “So, how would you be able to escape?”

“The other's dissappeared when their pendant was either cracked or broken. So maybe if!-”

“I would have to break this?” The spirit nods at Hyunjae's words. “Me? Break this beautiful, expensive jewel..?” His hand pockets the pendant before moving to grab all of the other broken gems on the windowsill.

“If I break it the full value would be lost, wouldn't it? I'd definitely win a million with a Jewel like this.”

“What?!-”

“Hyunjae!! Put the ear piece on!! Times up-” Eric yells out from the bottom floor, interrupting the ghost.

The male taps a finger on his ear to tease the ghost, “Sounds like I've got to go. Maybe next time.” All fear that Hyunjae felt when he stepped in was lost as he realized how harmless the manor’s spirit was. The usual confidence that he has fills the man's body as he walks out the room backwards, winking at the spirit fading away in anger.

As he walks back down the stairs, hands grab and pull at the bag on his arm but he doesn't care. “Eric!” Hyunjae hops off the last two steps, he quickly reaches the younger male who's holding three of the big paintings.

Eric does a little spin with the paintings on him, “Like my finds? You look like you're missing a few things”

Hyunjae taps on his bag, the movement of the jewels making a rattling sound, before his hands start to ruffle Eric’s hair, “All in this bag, let's go and see what the guys think.” He leads the way out of the manor, despite the october weather the outside is warm compared to the building.

“Dude- I'm so disappointed.. I didn't see any spirits at all.”

“I did. It was very, disappointing though..”

☆★☆ AUTHOR’S GOODBYE = IDC IF IT SUCKS I HAVE NO YIME NO FREE TIME I HAVE TOO MUCH AP LITERATURE WORK TOO MUCH HTML WORK TOO MUCH STATS WORK TOO MUCH STUFF TO DO AHHHHHHHHHH I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HAVE NO TIME AND I TOLD SOMEONE I THINK THEYRE ATTRACTIVE YESTERDAY AND IM STILL LEFT WITH NO ANSWER WTFFFFFFFFFFFFD AHHHHHHHHHQHSHJAJAJABDHAJAHA GET OUT GET OUT GET OUTTTTTTT

☆★☆ TAGLIST = @sanasour, @boomhoon, @loonaluvz, @deoboyznet

#dbn: boyz who bite #deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz imagines #the boyz x reader #the boyz au #the boyz fanfic #the boyz oneshots #the boyz fic #the boyz angst #hyunjae x reader #hyunjae oneshot #hyunjae fic #hyunjae fanfic #hyunjae angst #hyunjae au

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hcuyk · 1 year ago

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OUR INFERNO | CHAPTER ONE

SYNOPSIS ✧ despite being your greatest archnemesis/rival/enemy/frenemy/whateverthefuck he was, hyunjae had always been by your side. that changed when your boyfriend was brought up, creating a newfound rift in your whateverthefuck relationship with hyunjae

PAIRING ✧ rival!hyunjae x fem!reader

GENRE ✧ high school au, enemies to fwb, angst, smut, fluff(?), humor(?) (these mfs bicker a lot), pining

WARNINGS ✧ 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT — cheating, profanity, mentions of physical fight/bruises, underaged drinking, obsessive/possessive hyunjae : NSFW TAGS : outdoor/semipublic sex, dubcon recording, spit/drool/tears, oral and fingering (fem receiving), penetration, scratching/ripping, humping, minimal praise, degradation, sub!hyunjae for 0.002 seconds, petnames (princess, good girl, babe/baby, slut)

WORD COUNT ✧ 19k

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. . . . . . OUR INFERNO M.LIST ✩ next [ TWO ]

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THE BOYZ MASTERLIST | NAVIGATION

AUTHOR'S NOTE : in honor of my three years of officially stanning the boyz on this very day, let's celebrate with my smut debut and writing comeback 😋 enjoy my loves

PART ONE: CHASING THE SPARK (THE FIRE TETRAHEDRON) — fuel, oxygen, and heat | CHAPTER ONE

“Genuine question.”

“Shoot.”

“Who the fuck does Hyunjae actually think he is?”

Unphased by your up-and-coming rage rant, Kevin resumed snacking on the protein bar he had brought with him. He tossed his free arm over the camera equipment and backpacks sitting next to him on the bench, watching you stride back and forth within one of the many hallways in the recreational center.

“Well, he is your boss.”

“No, he’s the student executive producer,” you corrected, your legs unwavering as you kept a consistent pace to release your frustrations. Kevin shrugged and tossed one leg over the other, staying relaxed despite the hot fumes emanating from your upright and angered figure. You paused momentarily to look him in the eye.

“Emphasis on the student,” you clarified.

“Emphasis on the executive, Y/N.”

Baffled at how he was defending your greatest archnemesis (well, more like your greatest frenemy), you ignored his rebuttal and started pacing again. Your steps slowed as you envisioned the sensations you experienced just minutes before, back when you, Kevin, and Hyunjae were at the indoor pool to report for your school’s broadcasting channel. Technically, you were the one reporting and filming while Hyunjae was the subject of interest, and Kevin was there for physical support.

Chills latched onto your skin as you remembered what it felt like to have Hyunjae’s bare torso looming over you, his eyes peering over your shoulder to glance at your footage. While staring at the camera, his gentle, irregular breaths would continuously hit your skin. Water from the pool would trickle down his hair and into your shirt, reaching your backside. When it happened, you could barely comprehend Hyunjae’s ‘advice’ and instead focused on feeling every cold droplet travel through the crevasses created by your spine. You winced at the thought of that happening again, yet somehow you could still hear his irritating voice near your ear, telling you all the reasons why your B-roll of his lap swimming was ‘trash’ and ‘unusable.’

For a moment, you stood there in the hallway frozen, unsure of how to move, before realizing you were just reliving a moment from earlier and that Hyunjae was still in the locker room changing.

“I’m going to make a complaint,” you declared, turning back towards Kevin for his encouragement. Alternatively, you were met with the sight of your best friend completely failing to conceal his judgment and disapproval towards your suggestion.

“Against Hyunjae? You gotta be kidding, right?”

“Yes,” you answered confidently. “Wait, I mean no, I’m not kidding, but yes, against Hyunjae.”

Kevin eyed you skeptically, trying to decipher why you felt threatened enough to report someone like Hyunjae. You may not have spent all your previous years in high school with an affinity for Hyunjae, but it wasn’t like you hated him either—not in the way you truly loathed others. If that were the case, you wouldn’t spend nearly every day with him, bickering until the sun chose to set.

“Sure, maybe my B-roll was trash, I can attest to that, but that does not give his bitchass the right to not only shit on how ‘awful’ I was doing, but also yank the camera out of my hands and delete all the footage I got because they weren’t ‘perfect enough.’ What kind of psycho is that?” You glanced over at Kevin, trying once again to get him to back you up, but the most he gave was a slight nod. Everything you were spurting was half-mindedly being decoded because he had ended up placing more significance on inhaling protein. Regardless, you continued.

“And you would think, hey! As the student executive producer of a high school broadcasting team, he would understand that no! I indeed do not record half-naked people swimming in a pool, whether it be for a career or a hobby. He should also at least have the decency to not swim seven hundred miles per minute while I’m recording. Of course I’m not going to catch up, especially when he barely told me how he wanted things to be recorded? Isn’t he fucking insane for that? Not to mention all the goddamn splashing because of how fucking long his limbs are—”

“You’re explaining this like I didn’t witness the whole exchange,” Kevin grumbled.

“And you would think he knows, right? That Mr. Executive-slash-Captain-of-the-Swim-Team should either be more considerate when, A, he’s kicking water in my direction when he’s swimming or, B, station me away from the edge of the pool? Just a thought, but fuck me, I guess.”

“Well yeah, but the—”

“Also! Not to mention the camera has the fucking ability to zoom in, so why was there even a need for me to stand by the pool anyway?” You scoffed at the absurdity, almost tempted to cackle like a villain because of it. “The least he could do was tell me how to record it or find a way to adjust and compromise without occasionally soaking me with water on purpose, which I know damn well he was—”

“That’s just how-”

“We have a tripod, for god’s sake!” you exclaimed. By now, Kevin had given up on providing you with his input. He opted to rest against the wall, finishing up whatever he had left of the protein bar, and occasionally would roll his eyes.

“But even then, who the fuck wants to see him swim anyway? We’ll probably only need like…what? A minute of the footage for the B-roll? So why the hell is he treating it like it’s about to be nominated by the goddamn Oscars for Best Picture? He just loves to nitpick and control me like a fucking puppet—”

“Keep talking and you’ll potentially strain your throat,” a new voice interrupted.

You jerked around to find Hyunjae, the culprit of your rant, exiting the locker room with a small duffle bag that contained both his swim gear and his school clothes from earlier in the day. His brown hair was only halfway dry, some strands still stuck to his forehead as he approached where you were pacing.

You halted in your path and stared him down. Hyunjae immediately caught onto the mood you were in, and instead of being shocked or hurt, he grinned.

“You.”

Your attempt at threatening him with one word made Hyunjae laugh.

“Hey, I’m just looking out for you.”

“Oh here we go again,” Kevin mumbled, tossing the wrapper of the protein bar to the side. He pulled out his phone and went on TikTok, deciding it was more worthy of his attention than listening to you two banter—something he had been experiencing for well over five years.

As a mutual friend of yours and Hyunjae’s since middle school, Kevin understood the frenemy dynamic better than either of you. Eventually, over the long years he had known you both, he learned to leave you two be.

“What about me, though? Are you going to try and tattletale on me?” Hyunjae feigned sympathy as he gave you an exaggerated pout, tilting his head like a puppy’s. “C’mon. I’m just doing my job.”

“Sorry, but I don’t remember ‘being a dick’ being listed under the requirements for your oh-so-important position of power.” You huffed at him and crossed your arms, choosing to face elsewhere as you rooted the soles of your feet to the ground.

Hyunjae furrowed his brows, his eyes never leaving you, as he addressed the third party within the shared space.

“Kevin, was I being a dick, or is Y/N exaggerating?”

Kevin glanced up at his phone and scrunched his nose at Hyunjae in annoyance.

“Don’t even try to bring me into whatever…this mess is.”

“No, tell him,” you demanded, now looking at him. Your glare was enough to burn Kevin into ashes, but it was nothing compared to Hyunjae’s gaze piercing into your back. Knowing that he never looked away made you shiver, hating how fixated he seemed to be—and seemingly without reason too.

“Listen, I wasn’t being a dick. I was treating you the same way I treat everyone else. I’d honestly argue that you’re just narcissistic and think everything is about you when—”

“Oh wow, thank you for admitting that you’re a dick to everyone else!” You tossed your hands up for dramatic appeal as you spun back around to look at him. He scoffed, but his demeanor was quickly shadowed by a smirk that appeared on his lips, testing you with the arch of his brow.

“Oh really? Do you see anyone else complaining?”

“I’m complaining,” Kevin muttered.

“People don’t complain because they’re scared of you, Sherlock,” you retorted. At this point, Hyunjae had already caught onto your bullshit of making evidence up, and it was why this exchange ended up lasting for as long as it did. Nevertheless, his ego continued to build the more you spoke.

“You’re not scared of me?”

And you keep falling for the bait.

“Why should I? You’re nothing.” You approached him and pressed a finger into his chest, taunting him as you stared straight into his eyes.

Suddenly a competition seemed to have materialized because now you both were locking eyes, too stubborn to look away.

“One day you’ll wake up and realize your position doesn’t mean shit. You take it too seriously and make everyone’s job your job when this should be a learning experience for the rest of us.”

“And who exactly is ‘us,’ babe?”

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Don’t call me that–”

“And it’s also starting to sound like jealousy to me.” Hyunjae’s eyes finally shifted, but instead of looking away from you like you initially wanted him to, you trailed his line of sight down to your lips. He eyed them shamelessly—technically making you win the unspoken eye contact competition, but at what cost? “I won’t believe you until I receive firm evidence and testimonies from the other students in the club, then maybe I’ll consider your concerns. Deal?”

What you despised most was how well Hyunjae knew and provoked you to get under your skin. He was a raging flame, making your blood boil from both irritation and excitement. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, but after nearly six years of banter with Hyunjae, you knew damn well you enjoyed every second of it. It was like a nonstop competition, and you were always on the edge of winning.

Maybe it was also because you were so used to him constantly being above you. He was the president of the student council, the swim team’s captain, and specifically the one who snatched the executive position away from you in the broadcasting team, yet somehow you were still able to compete at his level of arrogance and egotism.

Even though you may never be able to top him in the foreseeable future, you at least knew how to match his fury—his fire, with your own.

“You’re pathetic.” You took a few steps back to gain some distance while his eyes flickered back up to yours. He bit his lip playfully, his smile only growing even wider.

“Woah, Y/N. Exposing my degradation kink so soon?”

“I-...you- w-what?!” you sputtered, your jaw falling slack as Kevin’s head snapped up, staring at the two of you in disgust.

“Get a room—!”

“I’m going to make sure you get degraded from your position, you freak!”

“Not exactly how that word works, princess, but I’m glad you’re at least passionate.” His cooing made you want to slap the living shit out of him, your eyes protruding from their sockets are you glared.

“Are you fucking bricked up or something right now—?”

“Hey guys,” a woman’s voice called out. Your heads turned to look at the end of the hallway, catching one of the recreational center’s workers waving in your general direction. She pressed her lips together and smiled, attempting to be as professional and understanding as possible. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but is it okay if you guys turn it down a notch?”

You and Hyunjae both nodded and whispered apologies, feeling like kids who just got scolded for shoving paintbrushes down the drain. Fortunately, the worker’s smile radiated genuine warmth and consideration, providing you some sort of reassurance that you guys weren’t too much of a disturbance (even though you guys totally were).

“You two are the most childish fuckers I know,” Kevin deadpanned, finally shoving his phone away as he switched between looking at you and the man by your side. His eyebrows bunched up.

“And apparently horny too.”

“I would move across the country if it meant I never had to see him again,” you grumbled, striding back to the pile of equipment to pick up your backpack and the bag with all your reporting necessities (boring script, stationary, and a couple of notebooks shared with all the broadcasting students to collect notes and inspiration in).

“Hello? I’m still here.”

“Look at that. He already misses me.”

“I’m going to hurl,” Kevin unnecessarily announced, and Hyunjae’s face soured.

“Ew.”

“Exactly. That’s how you two make me feel whenever you guys are together.” Kevin got up on his feet and grabbed the wrapper to shove into one of his pockets (no littering, kids) before outstretching his limbs dramatically.

“I swear I developed back pain from always listening to you guys bicker.”

“Or, hot take,” Hyunjae interjected, “maybe it’s because you’re always sitting with your back arching forward like it belongs in the Arches National Park–”

“Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up.” Kevin waved him off with his hand and rolled his eyes. “I came here to help carry stuff, not listen to your bullshit.”

He picked up the bag that contained the camera and passed it to Hyunjae. He offered to hold one more thing, but with only his backpack and the tripod left, Kevin didn’t see much need for his friend’s assistance.

Kevin then faced you, his face stern and rid of emotion.

“You too, Y/N,” he stated seriously. “None of this ‘he said this,’ ‘he said that,’ ‘please fuck me’ bullshit from you either.”

You gaped at him, arms wrapped tightly around the crew’s bag.

“Now why the hell do you think—”

“Zip it.”

Without giving you much of an opportunity to continue, Kevin sped off in front of you, ready to leave the building. You couldn’t even look at Hyunjae as heat rushed to your cheeks, struggling to trail after Kevin’s speedy steps.

Despite carrying heavier items, Hyunjae caught up to you with ease. You wanted nothing more than for Hyunjae’s feet to either slow down or speed up tremendously, but of course he purposely chose to walk by your side, attached to you by the hip.

“He sees it,” Hyunjae sing-songed. “Everyone sees it.”

“Sees what?” you snorted, oblivious to what he was indicating.

“That you want me,” he replied nonchalantly.

The moment you two stepped outside the doors of the center, you stopped to face him, trying to confirm what exactly he was implying.

“You can’t be serious.”

Hyunjae, who also stopped with your steps, shrugged.

“You’re the one in denial.”

Realizing that he was serious, you felt every muscle in your body tense up.

“Hyunjae,” you stated firmly. “I have a boyfriend, remember?”

Instead of receiving something witty from Hyunjae like normal, his relaxed facial features suddenly scrambled into one that expressed remote shock. His lips were slightly parted, eyes searching yours for any hint that indicated you were lying or messing around with him, but you were serious.

The aggressive playfulness from earlier had evaporated faster than boiling water, and you watched as he became stilled. Your heart started pounding, anxiety creeping up within you due to not being able to read Hyunjae like you normally do.

“Since when?” he asked. His voice was quiet, his tone firmer, and by now, Kevin was already by his car, too far from the two of you to understand what was going on. Hell, even you could barely understand what was happening.

“Earth to Hyunjae?” you joked, nervously laughing in an attempt to eliminate the newfound tension looming in the atmosphere. “It’s always been Jiwoong, remember?”

For a moment, Hyunjae could feel his mouth drying up. All his thoughts were held captive in his throat, and his lips remained parted as if they weren’t meant to collide at all. He stared at you like you had just teleported in front of him.

“Y/N,” he stated calmly, “he cheated on you.”

Your initial response was to get defensive, claiming that you already knew that because hell, it was your relationship, but then your brain acknowledged the true elephant in the conversation.

“How-...how the hell do you know about that?”

“I- You know word just-…That doesn’t matter. What matters is why in the world—”

“It was a mistake, okay?”

“A mistake?” As Hyunjae’s brows raised, so did his tone. “You know, people—decent people, don’t make mistakes like that.”

Seeing how Hyunjae was gritting his teeth, how his eyes were locked on yours, built up a foreign frustration within you. Something about the way Hyunjae was behaving felt like he was trying to control you.

All the rage from before had now returned, yet this time, there was no more leniency from you—not when Hyunjae was being more condescending than he had ever been.

“You know nothing, Hyunjae, so frankly, I really don’t care about what you think about my relationship with my boy-”

“You’re still with him??”

“Look,” you snapped. “Just because you have the luxury of crushing my hopes and dreams on a daily basis, it does not give you the right to dictate what’s wrong or right about my love life and my decisions. Understood?”

And just like how you always are, Hyunjae refused to shut up.

“How is it dictating when it’s common sense to dump a shitty person?” He dropped the bags onto the ground, and not once did he look away from you. “He’s never treated you well either, and you know that—”

“It’s not your decision to make,” you repeated. You could feel the three key elements of creating a fire stir up within you. You had the fuel, the oxygen, and the heat, and Hyunjae was the chemical chain reaction that would set it off. “How dense can you fucking be to not back down?”

“He cheated on you,” he reasserted, and there was a rage in his eyes that you had never once encountered. “He’s done so many shitty things, and he hasn’t changed–”

“Again, none of your fucking business–”

“And I’m pretty sure I saw—”

“I am not going to repeat myself-”

“Can’t you just listen to what I-”

“Drop it.” You were seconds away from yelling at him, ready to unleash all your anger because never once has someone threatened your love life—Jiwoong, the man you considered your soulmate. Your flame had officially engulfed his, and all Hyunjae could do was stare at you in disbelief and disappointment.

Turning to look away, you gazed up into the sky and scoffed, not understanding why tears had begun to pool up in your eyes. At the end of the day, Hyunjae meant nothing to you—you didn’t even consider him a friend.

After moments of experiencing what it was like to be suffocated by a tension so unbearable, you eventually found a way to ground yourself.

“I can’t blame him, you know,” you whispered, using the back of your hand to wipe away your tears. “We were angry. He just–...he needed an outlet, and at that time, that outlet happened to not be me, okay?”

Hyunjae stared at you, his mouth desperate to say something, anything, to make you see what he sees—a relationship that isn’t meant to be. That you didn’t deserve to be treated this way. Maybe you were no more than an acquaintance to him, but he knew you have always deserved better.

“He isn’t someone worth fighting for.”

“And that’s none of your business,” you scowled.

“It isn’t right—”

“Stay in your fucking lane, Jae.”

Hyunjae clamped his mouth shut, and the sight of you completely breaking down tore him apart. Possibly it was all the years you spent together growing up, constantly arguing, yet he knew he was always one to look out for you.

You sucked in a cheek, gnawing at it as your chest urged for you to forgive him, to apologize for lashing out without much notice, but in the end, you prioritized your pride over him.

Not only was Hyunjae’s persistence a stab to your heart, but you suspected that Kevin was the one who told him. By spilling your secrets, it was as if Kevin saw the knife that impaled you and yanked it out of your chest, causing you to bleed to your death.

“I’m done with this conversation,” you muttered, dropping the bag in your arms to the ground by his feet. Your plans had changed to you walking home alone, wanting nothing to do with the other two boys for the next hour or so.

When you turned around to walk away, you knew Hyunjae was going to try and say something. You knew him best whenever he was at his worst, so you spun around to face him for the last time that day to cut him off.

“Never fucking cross that line with me again, got it?”

And with that, you left.

Kevin apologized to you the morning after.

He normally drove you to school, and you debated getting into his car when he showed up. Thankfully you chose to do otherwise because the second you stepped inside, Kevin was apologizing profusely. He talked about how anxious he was all night when Hyunjae told him what happened, and he wouldn’t have known what to do if you didn’t forgive him. Obviously you did, and the rest of the car ride was spent with him explaining his side of the story.

According to Kevin, he only told Hyunjae about how you got cheated on because it seemed like Hyunjae already knew. As Kevin recalled the whole scene, you two assessed the signs, such as how Hyunjae didn’t provide any sort of reaction when Kevin dropped the news. In fact, it had seemed like Hyunjae had brought it up to Kevin instead.

Regardless, it became the last of your worries because all that mattered was that you were back to being on good terms with your best friend.

But avoiding Hyunjae felt like lighting a match in the rain.

It was your agonizing reality for the next two months, and although you could argue that you had gotten closer to your boyfriend during the supposed ‘Hyunjae Drought,’ you were still plagued with him being everywhere around you.

He was in all your classes, and you never truly processed the extent of how involved Hyunjae had always been throughout high school with you. You weren’t on the swim team, but you were stuck with him during meetings for both the broadcasting team and student council.

Yet it all felt so different.

Unless he was called on, Hyunjae would talk much less unprovoked and would never look at you during meetings. When he would address the entire team, he would glance at you for a split second before looking elsewhere, no longer watching you like a hawk.

You had also gotten quieter because without Hyunjae to banter with, you recognized that you barely had friends in any of those classes either.

There was no longer a fight between your flames, and you two kept as much distance as possible. You were thankful that there hadn’t been an instance that interrupted that, such as being forced to record more B-roll with him, and you could only hope that the rest of your senior year would remain the same.

Then you would never have to see him in college.

Now you were back to being the mediocre student that faded into the background. People knew your name at best, but none have ever tried to become your friend aside from Kevin. No matter how involved you tried to get, the closest you were to anyone was a classmate.

Hyunjae had always overshadowed you too, and for the first time in years, you were detached from his fumes—yet somehow, some way, the smoke from his fire would remain in your lungs, continuing to suffocate you even more than it had before. It didn’t give you that breath of fresh air of new friends or a better life; instead, it helped you realize that you didn’t matter. It was a miracle that you even scored Jiwoong as your boyfriend.

But then that begged the question: why did Hyunjae bother spending his time ridiculing you?

From the very beginning, you had always meant something to him, and you couldn’t pinpoint how or why. When there was no competition in academics, he treated it as if there was. Every time you ranted, he would listen, whether it be about him or something else. Even when you talked about how your chicken from the cafeteria was burnt, he would give you his own before calling you stupid for not noticing until you sat down.

He never shrugged you off like you were nothing or shut you down because your emotions were invalid. He entertained you each time with ease, and most importantly, he knew when to respect your boundaries. Hyunjae was probably the most mindful person you knew and could often tell when you were distressed or needed another form of reaction from him.

He knew when to stop.

Yet when it came to the one instance involving Jiwoong, he crossed the line multiple times. Why?

“Hyunjae isn’t here today.”

“Huh?”

“Didn’t show up for a single class.”

Kevin watched you play with your food with a fork, rolling the cold, barely spherical peas around and into the stale rice.

“That’s not like him,” he replied.

“Yeah.”

“I wonder why.”

“I wonder too.”

After the driest possible conversation in existence, you sighed and dropped your fork into your tray.

“I need to stop forgetting to pack myself lunch. This shit makes me lose my appetite, I swear. We should call the police and tell them the food they’re serving is illegal and a disgrace to this country.”

“Keep it away before I lose my appetite too.”

You didn’t react nor respond to what Kevin said, letting the conversation rot as you pouted at your food. The cafeteria was unusually louder today, making it easier to space out into thought.

Kevin took out his sandwich with a wide grin and started eating, grateful he never had to deal with what the school was feeding thanks to his mom, but eventually his eyes shifted over to you. You were unmoving with your gaze locked onto an empty spot on the table, so after moments of debating between asking you what’s wrong and ignoring you to devour his lunch, he opted to set his sandwich aside and stared straight at you.

“Why are you thinking about him?”

That was enough to garner your attention, your head snapping up to stare at your best friend like he was the craziest person you knew for mentioning Hyunjae, much less suggesting that your mind was wrapped around him.

“What?”

“Hyunjae. With his perfect attendance, a day without him should be a blessing, yet you brought up how he didn’t show up today and then moped harder than anyone I’ve ever seen mope. You should be over the moon, dancing on the tables and stealing people’s food, not-...” Kevin waved a finger at you, “whatever this is. You seem out of it.”

“Well it’s not because of Hyunjae, I’ll tell you that,” you snorted. Your eyes fell back down to your tray, and the more you looked at it, the more nauseous you got. You scrunched your nose. “If anything, it’s probably because of this shit food.”

Kevin rolled his eyes before tearing his sandwich into halves. You perked at the sight and ogled the half Kevin taunted you with. You were about to thank him and take it into your possession before Kevin jerked back his arm, making you whine.

“Throw away your food, then I’ll give you it.”

“Fine,” you grumbled. As Kevin returned to his delicious, most scrumptious, packed lunch you had ever seen, you picked up your tray and walked it to the nearest trash can. As you dropped the whole thing inside, you heard your name being called.

“Y/N!”

You whipped around to check to see who it was and smiled at the sight of Eunseo waving at you. You wouldn’t consider her a good friend, but you knew her well enough since she was the vice president of the student council.

She ran over to you with a stack of paper in her arms, relieved to have caught you.

“Y/N, hi! I’m so glad I found you. I was scared I wouldn’t because of how packed it is.”

She flashed you her usual glowing smile, and you noticed that she was a bit more giddy than usual, making you question why she was choosing to talk to you in the first place. All your conversations normally took place before, during, and after student council meetings, so this was slightly out of character.

“What’s up?” you asked. As you looked at her, you noticed how her outfit was slightly more put together than it normally was. She had on a cute top that suited her chest perfectly and a skirt that you had never seen her wear.

“Your outfit’s really cute today.”

“Really?!” Her bright demeanor then faded into concern. “Wait, is it too noticeable or out of the blue? Is it bad?”

“No, no. Not at all!” you reassured. “It’s just the right amount of perfect.”

“Great! God, that means the world coming from you. It’s because!...” She stopped to glance around, making sure that no one was eavesdropping, before taking a step closer to whisper. “It’s because I was finally asked out on a date by my crush!”

She could barely contain her excitement, holding back a squeal with her bottom lip latched between her teeth. Her sunshine-like energy made you grin.

“That’s great! I’m glad you’re making progress.” Your eyebrows pinched as you tried to recall the last time Eunseo had updated you about her crush. “You’ve been pining after him for so long—whoever ‘him’ is, anyway.”

The question of who Eunseo liked had always gone unanswered. She never told anyone, not even the ones who knew her best, but she loved gushing about her mystery crush to everyone she knew. All people really knew, you included, was how down bad she was.

A part of you wondered if it was someone you knew—someone pretty like Juyeon or well-known like…Hyunjae.

“Oh, I wish I could tell you, and maybe I will if things go really well and we become official!” She squealed and hopped in her spot, unable to resist giving you a half-hug with her free arm. “This is so exciting, Y/N!”

“I’m really happy for you.” Your smile was genuine until you thought about why she was looking for you, starting to doubt that she called you over just so she could tell you about her date.

“I’ll let you know how it goes, swear. But! That aside, I also have something for you.”

You knew it.

Your brows raised, and when you didn’t catch on, she gestured to the papers in her arms with guilt.

“I know this is kind of a dick move, and I’m really really sorry, but I promised to put up fliers for prom today. My date is right after my last class.” Her frown had deepened, and for a split second, you found yourself sympathizing with her because who wanted to let down such a cheerful personality, especially when this was life-changing for her?

“So you want me to do it?”

“Exactly! Please, that would be great. It shouldn’t take too long, too.”

You thought about how you would have to give up an evening of playing on your switch or extra time to study for an upcoming exam, but you knew it was your duty as secretary to help out whenever needed.

Not to mention that it would also make you a decent friend not to hold Eunseo back from her soon-to-be love life despite her poor date planning. If you were in her shoes, you would have wanted her to do the same for you too.

“Sure,” you accepted. “Why not?”

“You’re the best, seriously!” She handed you the fliers as she began to fill you in on the extra details.

“I already told Mr. Barajas that I wasn’t feeling well and that you were going to do it, so he said it all worked out and to not worry about it,” she rambled, happy to give the extra weight (both literally and metaphorically) to you. “I just printed these out, so everything should be perfect to go. Oh, and don’t worry about any extras! Just set them on Barajas’s desk when you’re finished. Hyunjae will also be in 142 with tape ready for you.”

The mention of the forbidden name nearly made every cell in your body halt.

“What?”

Eunseo tilted her head at you, confused, before finally realizing.

“Oh crap, I forgot! I’m so sorry, I really did forget you guys weren’t on good terms. I hope it’s okay that he’s helping you out. I mean, he’s supposed to, but it was meant for him and me to do it together, not you two, so…God, I’m really sorry Y/N.”

Before you could even react to the newfound information, she continued.

“I really have to go now. Thank you again! I promise I’ll make it up to you!” And with her rosy pink cheeks and a stunning shade of red on her lips, she basically skipped away and waved goodbye to you with a smile, so you reciprocated it with an awkward one of your own.

When she turned her back, your smile immediately dropped and you sighed heavily.

“Have fun on your date,” you mumbled, your eyes falling to fliers in your arms. As you skimmed the one on top, you noticed it was to promote going to prom while also including a big QR code to vote for who should be your school’s prom king and queen. You expected it since it was the last meeting’s topic of discussion, but what you weren’t aware of was who were listed as nominees.

There were eight names listed under ‘Prom Court,’ and while you expected Hyunjae’s, Eunseo’s, and your boyfriend’s names on it, your jaw nearly hit the ground at the sight of your own.

With every passing class period, your anxiety would kick up a notch.

The dread of talking to the face you had been avoiding for two months engulfed you, and it caused you to develop the urge to ditch your current class to go hunt for Jacob, the student council’s historian. You wanted nothing more than to dump the stack of fliers into his arms, and knowing Jacob, he wouldn’t ask any questions. Hell, you were certain that if you asked him nicely, he would do it for you because of how naturally sweet and endearing he was.

But the guilt of ditching your secretary duties kept picking at your skin, and besides, all you had to do was treat Hyunjae like a colleague. That should be easy, right?

As you suffered through the last few minutes of class and your teacher’s incessant ramblings about the upcoming exam, your thoughts drifted over to what would happen the moment you stepped into room 142.

Hyunjae hadn’t shown up to a single class all day, yet he was expected to set up fliers after school. As your thoughts snowballed, you arrived at the baseless conclusion that maybe Eunseo wasn’t aware that Hyunjae was absent today, therefore someone else (like Jacob) would take over.

Suddenly, your back had straightened with feigned interest in your teacher’s last few words. Something about Jacob being there instead of Hyunjae had excited you; it felt like you were free and that the universe was listening to your prayers. The gamble of seeing whether it would be Hyunjae or Jacob (or literally anyone else) had your right leg bouncing, eyes on the clock, and when the bell rang, you shot up from your seat, backpack over your shoulders and fliers in your arms, before dashing out of the classroom.

You sped down the hallway to 142, Mrs. Zhang’s room for Chemistry, bug-eyed, before having your delusions crushed at the sight of Hyunjae’s stupidly large height leaning against one of the counters. Your feet stood glued to the ground by the doorway, your eyes locked onto him.

Covered from head to toe in sweats, Hyunjae was immersed in whatever was on his phone, scrolling through something as his brown curls peeked out from inside his hood. Without any hint of him acknowledging your presence, your shattered hopes slowly began to rebuild.

Maybe if you were quiet enough, you could sneak out with the tape and do everything on your own, avoiding him at all. Actually, scratch that. You didn’t even need the tape. All you had to do was go to another teacher’s room, steal their tape for half an hour, and then return it with ease.

The plan was effortless, and you mentally smacked your forehead for not thinking of it earlier. Right as you were about to execute it, your backpack slammed against the doorframe as you turned on your heels.

“Nice try.”

You groaned out of embarrassment (and slight pain) and forced yourself to turn around. Hyunjae’s phone was now face down on the counter, and his arms were crossed over his abdomen. His face remained stoic as his eyes met yours, wielding a tension you didn’t recognize.

Now that you could properly look at him, you noticed a few details that you hadn’t before, such as the small tear on his lower lip and the bandaid on his cheekbone. If you looked long enough, you could catch light patches of purple across his skin, and the sight hindered all your thoughts, your brain too occupied with piecing together how he ended up like this.

“What happened?” you blurted, your gaze shooting up from his lips to his eyes.

Hyunjae staggered at your suddenty, but he managed to keep himself stilled, his brows pinching.

“What do you mean?”

Even if Hyunjae didn’t mean to, his question became an invitation for your unfiltered thoughts to spill out of your mouth.

“You didn’t show up for any of our classes today,” you began, “but now you’re here? For some stupid fliers? You’re barely dressed properly like you normally are, your hair isn’t straightened, you look pale, Jae, and what’s up with the bruises or the bandaid on your cheek–”

“Are you seriously psychoanalyzing me?” he asked with a scoff. There was no humor in his tone. Instead, it looked as if he was irritated, perhaps even more than you were.

Hyunjae barely met your eyes, and his arms closed himself off from you.

“What–?”

“You’re evaluating me like I’m some sort of lab project, Y/N.”

“No, no I’m not,” you rejected. “I’m just saying things are a little off.” You kept your eyes firm on his, even as he pushed himself off the counter with his phone and made his way over to you. “And you know, you really can’t blame me for being somewhat worried when one, you don’t show up, and two, you look like a whole mess—”

“Just hand over the fliers—” he interrupted, gritting his teeth as he outstretched his arm in your direction. You dodged him by turning your body 180 degrees and stood your ground.

“What happened?” you repeated, this time more firmly.

Hyunjae looked at you, a blank expression on his face, before turning back around to grab the roll of tape left on the teacher’s desk. When he returned, he shoved it into your arms while simultaneously stealing half the stack. You protested with an exclaimed ‘Hey!’ yet he didn’t bat an eye and skimmed over the contents of the flier on top.

Bothered by his lack of response, you frowned and made sure to block the doorway, refusing to let him leave until you received answers.

“Why are you acting like this? Pretending that I’m not even—”

“I’ll do upstairs, you do downstairs,” he muttered.

“Did you get into a fight? Why weren’t you here today? Why are you here now—”

“You’d think you’d know,” he finally answered, pushing past you like you weighed none less than a feather.

Your brain had fully malfunctioned at that point, unable to decipher what he meant as Hyunjae walked off to the nearest staircase. As his footsteps echoed down the hall, you thought about what he was implying yet came to no resolution. Did he assume that you were caught up in your school’s latest gossip? Or that you were the main admin for his biggest fan page on Instagram?

The idea made you snort, and you scowled bitterly at his childish attitude. It wasn’t like you were a complete stranger intruding on his personal life—hell, you felt like you deserved an explanation because of how you were forced to do this with him.

As you stormed off past the remaining lingering students to the nearest bulletin board, you questioned how you were going to do this on your own.

You had put up fliers countless times in the past few years yet never alone. Luckily, you had a general idea of where the fliers should go when it came to the school’s hallways, but as you approached your first destination, you struggled with ripping off pieces of tape while holding the stack at the same time. It would’ve been easier with a partner by your side, one who either did the tape ripping or placing of the fliers, but you weren’t desperate enough to fall into the role of a helpless princess in need of her pretty (useless) prince.

After some trial and error, you found a method that consisted of setting the stack on the ground occasionally so you could rip off pieces of tape. Then you would slap said pieces of tape onto your wrist, having them readily available as you put up a few fliers at a time.

Although slightly time-consuming, it was working well and kept you at a steady pace until you heard crashing footsteps behind you from afar. Without paying any mind to it, you bit back your curiosity in order to focus on the wall in front of you, but then you made the mistake of taking a step back, bumping into the person who was sprinting.

You lost your balance and fell forward before catching yourself shortly after. However, the fliers had already flown out of your arms, scattering across and down the long hallway.

Ready to curse out the offender for running down the hallway, you were surprised when you saw that it was Eunseo behind you, pouring out apologies while a loopy grin was smacked onto her face.

You steadied your anger and told her it was okay, getting down onto your knees to collect all the fliers. Her ‘sorry’s could only go so far with her smeared lipstick, a dazed gaze, and her hair holding the mold to someone else’s (presumably her crush’s) hands in them, but you still excused her, knowing that she was over the moon right now.

“It’s okay, Eunseo, I promise.” You forced out a chuckle as you crawled to scavenge for the ones that flew a few feet away.

“I really didn’t mean to,” she pouted, but it was shortly followed up with bubbly giggles. “God, Y/N, can you believe this? Oh, it’s going so well! I think I love him, I do.”

“Good for you,” you grumbled, hoping that she didn’t hear it as you continued to move down the hallway, hating how far the fliers had escaped from you. You also hated how she just stood there without intent on helping you at all.

“I have to really go now. Got volleyball practice soon, but I think I’m seeing him tomorrow too!” She waved you goodbye.

And just like that, she continued running off.

You stared at how you were only able to collect half the mess, hating how Eunseo had somehow managed to delay you even further from being in the comfort of your bed. You were also salty at how her date was taking place at the school, wishing she could’ve dragged him around while she taped stuff up before getting dick-downed of some sort.

Deciding that she and her business weren’t worth your time, you continued to pick everything up as quickly as you could, wanting nothing more than to go home.

When you finally finished collecting every last flier, you were prepared to get back into the groove of things before feeling your phone vibrate in the side pocket of your backpack. Wondering if it was something important, you took it out and beamed at the idea of it being a new message from Jiwoong.

Dating him felt like falling in love with him all over again whenever he texted. Your heart would pound in your chest when you thought about him and explode whenever he gave you his attention and time. You were addicted to him, especially knowing that he was yours after liking him since middle school.

So to say you were disappointed was far worse than an understatement. It was from a number you hadn’t saved yet always recognized and undoubtedly remembered by heart.

Of course it was Hyunjae.

You had Hyunjae’s phone number due to previous class projects and group chats, but you had never once saved it because you thought he was undeserving of being a contact in your phone. Nonetheless, with how the years have passed and how much his number infiltrates every group chat you were in, it was only fair that your brain had unintentionally memorized all ten digits.

The message he sent consisted of him saying that he was done with the fliers, and you rolled your eyes. Even after the way he treated you earlier, he still chose to let you know and brag about how fast he was.

You shoved your phone away vigorously, ready to return to your slapping-fliers-on-walls duty, before perking at the sound of footsteps behind you once more.

Automatically assuming it was Eunseo or another student staying after for a club or sport, you were stunned when you heard his voice.

“You’re not even halfway yet?”

In no fucking universe are you turning around; not for him.

“Go gloat somewhere else,” you snapped. The next flier you taped up was nearly slammed onto the wall, but Hyunjae was left unphased by your sudden outburst. He stood next to you and remained quiet, even when you left to place the next flier a few feet away on the opposite wall.

When he didn’t follow, you sighed out of relief, yet somehow you couldn’t help but peek at him, eyeing his hands that were tucked into the pockets of his sweatpants. He was staring straight at the lopsided flier you had put up, and when you decided you had enough of peering at him, he was back by your side.

“What are you doing?” you grumbled. He was the one who pushed you away, yet now here he was, glued to your side like how he was two months ago.

“You’re taking too long.”

“I had a mishap,” you explained, “but that’s none of your concern.” The lines on your forehead bunched up, and you waved him off, bending down to place the stack on the ground. Figuring it wasn’t weird at all, you continued your method of ripping off pieces of tape and slapping it onto your wrist.

And Hyunjae was totally judging.

“You can’t be serious.”

“Just go home.”

Despite being on the ground and sitting on your heels, you could physically feel the heat on the back of your head due to his eyes burning a hole into your skull, and for a split second, you knew exactly what he was thinking.

“I can do it myself,” you explained.

“What are you even doing?”

“Can you just go?” You picked up the stack once again as you rose to your feet, doing your best to avoid whatever look was on Hyunjae’s face. He was probably stifling a laugh or keeping his expression smug, but when you did cave and peek, his face was still solemn, his eyes on your wrist with concern.

“You’re struggling.”

“Thank you for your observation, Mr. Obvious,” you retorted.

“Let me do it.”

Taken aback, you whipped your head over to his direction.

“You’re kidding.”

“You don’t even want to be here,” he reasoned through gritted teeth. “Just go, and you can thank me later.”

“Thank you?!” Appalled at his audacity, you couldn’t help but laugh out of disbelief. “Seriously, Hyunjae? You want me to thank you for stealing my job? Again? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Because you can’t take any criticism ever, or in this case, any form of help, so just let me do it.”

Hyunjae was eerily calm about the whole ordeal, his energy far from matching yours.

“I do take help,” you refuted. “I just don’t take yours, and neither do I need it, too.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn.” And within a blink of an eye, he had managed to snatch the stack of fliers from you.

“Hey!” you yelled, feeling as if it was deja vu from earlier (you really needed to step up your defense), and reached out to take them back, but he was quick to turn his body, shielding them from you.

“Give me the tape and go,” he urged, emotionless. The Hyunjae in front of you now was someone you truly didn’t recognize because the Hyunjae you knew would have made fun of you and held the fliers above your head, teasing you for being so weak.

Yet he stood still, creating a barrier between you and the duty that was forced upon you. You didn’t want to be here anyway, yet you were so insistent on making sure Hyunjae wasn’t stealing your work again. You weren’t incapable, and you hated how he always managed to be faster.

Even now, he was miles away from being playful with you, and yet he still had a way to shove it in your face.

“Hyunjae, I swear—”

“Give me the tape, and you can run off to your little boyfriend waiting for you by the entrance.”

Your lips parted at his words, eyes wide as you worked to comprehend his words. You questioned how he knew about Jiwoong’s whereabouts, how he knew that Jiwoong was waiting and that you didn’t, but knowing that he was serious, you reluctantly gave up and dropped the roll of tape on the ground, forcing him to pick it up.

You were sick of constantly arguing with him, and even if he was lying about Jiwoong, at least you would be away from Hyunjae. There was no point in fighting for your dignity anymore, not when Hyunjae’s narcissism was insufferable.

By walking away with heavy and quick strides, you hoped he felt humiliated by how poorly he was treating you—how he had always treated you like this.

As much as you wanted it to be true, you hoped Hyunjae was lying just so you had more evidence against his self-absorbed and shitty personality, but alas, you found Jiwoong standing precisely where Hyunjae said he was.

Regardless, all stress and frustrations had lifted from your being, and you called out to your boyfriend with a smile that would make your cheeks ache in minutes.

“Woong!” You waved your hands with a small bounce in your steps as you rushed over to him.

Your boyfriend’s head shot up, surprised to see you. His utter shock quickly switches to one of sheer happiness, tucking his device away before opening his arms for you.

“Hey, baby!”

You tossed yourself into his embrace, hugging him tight after pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“What are you doing here?” With your face in his neck, your voice came out muffled, and it made Jiwoong laugh.

“Had to stay after to discuss my grades with a teacher, then I decided to stay back a bit for you.” He cooed and kissed the top of your head, holding you incredibly close. When you pulled back, his hands had moved from behind your backpack to your hips instead, holding them as you stared up at him.

“You were waiting for me?” you asked, eyes wide with stars in them.

“Of course I was, baby.”

You were radiating, feeling happier than ever. The last time you saw Jiwoong was a week ago, and with your clashing schedules, you two very rarely get the opportunity to make plans. Your hands rested atop his shoulders, and when he pulled you in for a kiss, you smiled.

But then it fell.

Something felt off.

If someone were to inquire Hyunjae about who his heart belonged to, your name would be his answer—whether he intended to say it or not.

Hyunjae had always been considered the school’s favorite. His intelligence may not be up to par with others, but his authority was what made him a prominent member of your high school. Some blame it on his looks, but most were aware enough to know that wasn’t the case.

Hyunjae knew how to think on his feet, and his problem-solving skills outwitted everyone within his grade level. Reaching tranquillity had never been an issue for him, allowing him to be levelheaded while making decisions. He emitted an aura that made classmates truly listen to him and the ideas he shared, and overall, it made him a great contender to lead every group and organization he was in.

Additionally, Hyunjae’s heart was what won over most people. His lack of vulnerability seemed to be his only flaw, but it was an obstacle he could overlook when it came to empathizing with others. By actively being involved in the community through volunteering and holding fundraisers, everyone could recognize Hyunjae’s devotion to hope for humanity.

All these traits were what led Hyunjae up onto the pedestal and the public eye, a household name for all families in the district. Titles and awards naturally gravitated towards him throughout the years, resulting in him winning the vote as president of your school’s student council and enough scholarships to provide him a full ride at most universities.

It was safe to say that competition against Lee Hyunjae was sparse, and you were no different.

Your grades would teeter around his standard, hence how you two collectively ended up in the same classes, but aside from that, you had nothing else that could compare to what he was capable of.

Except for one thing; your fury.

There was an inferno inside you at all times, and instead of your body shielding off your heart with steel, people around you would come to find out that your heart was the reason for that large blaze of fire, possessing a passion unlike any other.

Hyunjae had never once seen a peer with as much fight as you. It was a trait only you encapsulated, one that you weren’t afraid to express. You stood up for yourself and your beliefs, and it was easy to pick fights with him when he had been troubling you from the very moment you two were assigned to sit next to each other in seventh-grade algebra.

Hyunjae yearned for you ever since, his only want being your attention. You gave him the drive to succeed in high school and thrive in his senior year, and he was positive that he wouldn’t be doing this well without a reason to show off in front of you. He wanted your praise, your acknowledgment, but he loved the chase the most.

Unfortunately, that was the exact reason he ended up here.

The chase was what made him fall for every part of you, wanting nothing more than your lips on his and the ability to have you by his side at all times, but it was also what landed you with your current boyfriend.

It was like his life was a video game with God giving him the hardest difficulty setting by making sure you were obsessed with someone undeserving of all that he wanted. There wasn’t even a chance of you two possibly being friends in your eyes. Meanwhile, Hyunjae would argue that you two had more chemistry than any other couple in your class, but that hope was crushed, shredded, and stomped on when he found out you still devoted your love to Jiwoong.

Regardless, it didn’t change who you were as a person. Your heart was still just as large and beautiful, and your drive to succeed hadn’t lessened. The bickering never faltered, and it wasn’t like Hyunjae was opposed whenever you expressed disgust at the thought of him being turned on because of you (and that was because he found the idea of you thinking about him hot—yes, his expectations were that low).

So it was why after two months of almost zero to no contact, you treating him as if those months didn’t exist created the largest dilemma he had ever faced. He spent the next week thinking about your intentions and why you seemed to care so much, specifically right after when Hyunjae had willed himself to believe that he meant jackshit to you. You effortlessly toyed with his heart, leaving him in everlasting misery, while you seemed to do completely fine.

What was a typical and ideal lifestyle for you was a nightmare and tormenting hellhole for Hyunjae. He didn’t just crave the warmth and comfort from your undying flames.

He wanted to burn.

Insanity engulfed him on the days spent without you, leaving him to wonder why you had to make things extensively worse by pointing out his absence or how he had put less effort into his hair. Why did it seem like the concern you expressed was genuine? Why pretend that you cared for him as much as he cared for you?

He was going insane—so insane that he drove to a college party with three other friends in his sedan on a Wednesday night.

It was being held by a fraternity he and his friends were far more than familiar with thanks to Jongin, an upperclassman he met in his sophomore year and remained friends with since then. The beginning of the senior year marked the origin of parties and hook-ups in weak sporadic attempts to get over you.

At this rate, Hyunjae could argue that he was more experienced than half of the current college freshmen class. Getting girls in bed was the easiest part; the hardest part was forgetting about you. From what was a method created to move on from you became one that prepared him for when you wanted sex with him.

But with your constant longing for Jiwoong, Hyunjae made sure that this party would be different.

Although accustomed to having sex with various women, Hyunjae had never been one to drink. This was a fact about him that raised brows, specifically Jongin’s when he first tried urging Hyunjae with a drink, but tonight he vowed to change that. He was normally their designated driver, but when Hyunjae informed Sangyeon of his plan, the elder was more than delighted to remain sober so Hyunjae could get a taste of alcohol.

“Hey, man! It’s about time!” Jongin exclaimed the instant he found out about Hyunjae’s willingness to drink, pulling a fresh bottle out of the cooler specifically for his friend.

“That’s what I told him!” Sangyeon projected his voice over the music, giving Hyunjae a supportive pat on the back.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes at his friends’ remarks and thanked Jongin for the beer, hanging around by the counter as the three conversed and caught up. The two laughed at the way Hyunjae’s face scrunched up at the taste, Sangyeon shoving him lightly with the claim that Hyunjae was being overdramatic.

With his earlier mindless decision of tossing on a mesh long-sleeve shirt over his black tank top, Hyunjae had attracted another partygoer by his side momentarily after his first sip. She wrapped her arms around one of his and inserted herself into the conversation with hopes of getting Hyunjae in bed by the end of the night, and crazily enough, he considered it for a moment before feeling his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Normally it would be something he’d ignore, but it remained persistent, signifying that he was receiving a call. He didn’t know who would be calling at this hour—well, aside from Minghao and his usual complaints about Hyunjae partying as a high schooler on a school night.

After setting the glass down on the counter to grab his phone, any urgency to intoxicate himself as quickly as possible vanished the very second he saw your name glowing on his screen. With an awkward retraction of his arm and a forced cough, Hyunjae excused himself and answered the call.

“Hello?”

With music pounding inside his ear canals, it was expected that he couldn’t hear anything you were saying. He navigated through various crowds to reach the entrance of the house, his heart replicating the booming vibrations from the loudspeakers as he prayed that you wouldn’t hang up on him.

“Okay, I…I should be free now,” he stammered after stepping outside. The sudden stillness of Mother Nature was a drastic change from the party scene, coercing him to focus on his racing heartbeat and the anxiety accumulating in his tightening chest. He was breathing heavily, both from pushing through people in a rush and also because of you.

You never failed to render him weak and helpless, leaving him like a puppy longing for their owner’s guidance.

There was a silence, but he could hear your gentle breaths hitting your phone.

“I need a ride.”

Hyunjae blinked, his body tensing up, as the many thoughts in his brain scrambled to make meaning of what you meant. However, it didn’t matter because you hung up shortly after, leaving him alone to revel in your words.

Your bluntness and suddenty made Hyunjae malfunction, his thoughts leading him to question if he had even heard you correctly. Rarely did you ever reach out to him, and what could you need him for? Especially after lashing out at him and ignoring him for two months? Of course, there was that one day a week ago when you two were forced to talk together, the day he was given a one-day suspension, but you two returned to treating each other like strangers like it was natural.

He stared at his phone in hopes of receiving more information, that you’d perhaps call again to reconfirm or say you had the wrong number. He felt like he was dreaming—that the person he had wanted for so long needed him for once, but he couldn’t help but also believe that this may be the beginning of another nightmare.

But it was you, and Hyunjae was willing to risk it.

After checking his call logs to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, he rushed back into the fraternity house, thankful he didn’t proceed with drinking any more than he did.

He found everyone exactly where he had left them (the girl included) and announced his departure. The girl made sure Hyunjae knew how disappointed she was, but that was his last concern as he grabbed the beer bottle and handed it to Sangyeon, giving him a pat on the back.

“Drink up and find an Uber.”

“No fucking way you’re leaving us this soon, man.” Jongin shook his head in disapproval, his forearms resting against the countertop.

“Another time, I promise, yeah?” Hyunjae started walking away, waving to them as his heart continued to thrum in his chest.

“He’s lying,” Sangyeon snorted, taking a swig before bidding Hyunjae a bitter goodbye. “You owe me!"

Hyunjae ran out of the house, his legs making quick and long strides as he ran to his parked car down the block. His newfound adrenaline made him think about what he was sacrificing to be with you. Was leaving the party and betraying his friends worth spending even a second with you? What if you were asking him to drive you and your boyfriend somewhere? Could his heart even deal with being used like that?

But as much as Hyunjae hated it, he knew he was making the right choice. The self-respect he had for himself was buried six feet deep beneath the surface of the earth when it came to you.

God, he really hoped he wasn’t hallucinating.

For a split second, Hyunjae truly debated what he was doing after getting into his car. He was already driving, but he didn’t know where to go. Luckily, it didn’t take you long to send him a text with your location, and it was a place he was familiar with.

It was a park that he often frequented as a kid since it resided by his old neighborhood, and he was thankful he knew exactly where to go because he knew he would’ve definitely crashed the car while pulling up your location on his GPS. Hyunjae was doubtful it was the alcohol in his system making his fingers shake and his mind uneasy. He blamed you for his hysteria, one that had developed over years of endless longing.

Luckily the drive wasn’t long thanks to the roads being mainly void of other vehicles (and maybe he did speed a few times, but he considered it justified). Before pulling into the parking lot, he spotted a lone figure curled up on a nearby bench. A small weight had been lifted off of him, relieved it was just you, and he parked aimlessly while his eyes rested on you.

You seemed unphased by his added presence, your arms unmoving as they stayed wrapped around your legs. The bench you were sitting in was facing away from the parking lot, but with his headlights illuminating the view in front of you, you certainly had to know he was there.

In an ideal world, Hyunjae would leave his car, join you by your side, and, if he was lucky, he’d pull you into his arms and hold you close against his chest. He wanted to be there for you in whatever way he could, but he ended up being a deer in headlights, too afraid to make the wrong move and lose you again.

He sat there for a minute, watching you, and as soon as he received the confidence to reach for the handle of his door, you were up on your feet. His fingers paused midair as he traced your movements, his arm eventually falling to his side as you approach his car.

Despite how slow his mind was working, Hyunjae knew to unlock the car right as you opened it (he would’ve died out of embarrassment if he had forgotten), and neither of you greeted the other.

Without any explanation from you, Hyunjae refrained from staring at you like he normally would, but your outfit made it incredibly difficult. It wasn’t much, just an oversized long-sleeved shirt that reached your thighs, but it was far from the usual clothes he’d seen you wear, like jeans and a nice-fitting blouse. For a moment, he believed you had no pants on, but then he knocked some sense into himself, realizing that you were probably wearing shorts that were hidden.

While Hyunjae attempted to keep his composure and respect your boundaries, you were eyeing him shamelessly, once again analyzing every detail about him. Beads of sweat pooled up on the back of his neck, and his hair was straightened yet fuzzy. As your eyes trailed downwards, you noticed how the mesh hugged his biceps, catching every crease that defined his muscles. He was quiet, his index finger resting against his lips.

Where did he even come from?

And why was he so quick to listen?

You held back your tongue from dumping out your thoughts, knowing your questions would end up unanswered like before. Your body instinctively rested against the divot between the car door and your seat, keeping your distance from Hyunjae. He was meant to be a stranger, perhaps someone you loathed, yet there was an odd comfort that encased you from him just sharing the same air as you.

You cleared your throat, turning your head to look away when he flinched and snapped his gaze towards you.

“Drive.”

Your demand was no louder than a whisper, but Hyunjae picked it up effortlessly and was already backing out.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere.” Hyunjae raised a brow at your answer, and you buried yourself further into his seat, directing your gaze out the door. “Just-...anywhere, Jae.”

The nickname had his throat tightening and his chest leaping, nodding in your direction as he drove on autopilot. With no destination in mind, he strolled through familiar roads, his fingers tapping against the wheel.

You stayed silent, creating a tension that was unbearably thick, yet none of you felt the need to leave; neither of you wanted to leave the other, even if it meant having to deal with the looming elephant in the room (or in this case, Hyunjae’s car).

After spotting the recreational center from afar and its empty parking lot, he instinctively pulled in. There wasn’t a proper explanation for why he decided it’d make a great destination, especially when it was the place that created a rift in your relationship with him, but it felt right.

It was empty, open, and serene—a perfect place to stay as the moon shined.

Hyunjae stepped out of the car after parking in the middle of it, and when you didn’t follow, he moved to your side and opened the door. He was hesitant but took the risk of offering his hand to you, a warm, nervous smile on his face. He wanted you to know he was there to listen, to be there for you, because, Lord, he would hand you the world if he could.

“I’m not in the mood for walking,” you mumbled, but Hyunjae shook his head.

“We’re not going to walk, I promise.”

Your eyes flickered up to his briefly, skeptical of what he had planned, but ultimately caved. You ignored his hand, and he pulled it back with regret. When you stood there, your eyes on the sky, he closed the door behind you and guided you to the hood of his car.

Without a second thought, he sat on top of it and gestured for you to do the same.

“I sit here all the time. Helps me think.” He leaned back against his windshield, his hands holding the back of his head as he kept his eyes on the sky. When you didn’t move, he started to feel stupid, wondering if you two were better off in the car, but then you joined him.

You copied his position, staring upwards as your hands rested over your abdomen.

Hyunjae opted to keep to himself, deciding that he didn’t want to make this worse for the two of you. Instead, he fixated his thoughts on the stars in the sky.

There were only a few, but it was a rare sight due to the constant air pollution in your city, so he considered it a miracle. You, on the other hand, were spacing out in thought, and Hyunjae could tell through his occasional peeks. Without much control, his eyes started tracing down your arms. They then landed on where the hem of your shirt rested, now looking at your bare thighs.

Feeling as if he just reverted back to being the shyest virgin in the country, he gulped and immediately looked elsewhere, trying to get you off his mind despite you being right next to him. His racing heart was all that he could hear, and now he wondered if you could hear it too—if you knew how much you affected him.

And your voice broke the silence.

“How long have you known?”

Okay, maybe his brain did fall out of his skull because Hyunjae had no idea what you were talking about. He turned his head and caught how you stared up at the sky. Your eyes were glossy, holding the reflections of the whole galaxy within them. They sparkled, and for a beat, Hyunjae had forgotten your question, too infatuated with your beauty.

His silence resulted in you turning your head, gaze meeting his, and that was when he noticed the tears.

“About Jiwoong and Eunseo.”

Your light, your flames, his burning desire; all were gone in a flash.

Your voice was delicate, and Hyunjae knew that with one move, he could break you.

Directing his gaze heavenward, Hyunjae sighed and brought his arms down to rest over his chest. Somehow he was able to feel all the pain you were experiencing, his heart twisting while his stomach churned and sloshed around in his body. He thought about how to respond as he chewed on the inside of his lip, questioning if he should answer at all to avoid hurting you.

But you asked, and as always, Hyunjae delivered.

“I don’t think I ever really knew until last week,” he explained, “but I could always tell.” Suddenly, the fight from a week ago had resurrected, and Hyunjae was forced to relive it all.

The hallways were empty when Hyunjae left the broadcasting room, a backpack strap slung over his shoulder while the other dangled behind him. He was in the middle of scrolling through his emails when he picked up on the sound of Jiwoong’s voice around the corner.

His footsteps halted, and Hyunjae caught Jiwoong’s fatal words.

“How does tomorrow sound?”

Eunseo’s squeals followed after, and Hyunjae stood motionless.

At first, Hyunjae had no thoughts circulating in his brain, but after hearing their lips collide, he started coming up with solutions, such as interrupting or taking a video to send to you. Unfortunately, before he could act on either of them, he heard footsteps dashing off, practically skipping, as the two bidded one another goodbye.

Hyunjae couldn’t pinpoint the reasoning behind his upcoming actions, but he knew how to describe how he felt.

Anger was the first and only emotion to surge up within him, his fingers instinctively balling up into fists. His muscles had tightened while a forest fire ran rampant through his veins, causing his blood to boil.

Then with quick strides, Hyunjae shoved his phone away and made a sharp turn around the corner, tossing his backpack on the ground after spotting Jiwoong against the lockers. The latter had a dazed look on his face, his lips curled into a smirk as he typed away on his phone, but that was changed once he looked up at the sound of Hyunjae’s backpack crashing against the ground in front of him.

There wasn’t a second in between Jiwoong’s face of surprise and Hyunjae’s arm being raised, and before Jiwoong could react, Hyunjae’s fist had slammed into his jaw.

It was a blur from there, but Hyunjae knew he had won even after authorities dragged him off Jiwoong’s body. He had received a few jabs in return, but it was nothing compared to the black eye Hyunjae gave him.

The fact that Jiwoong managed to cover it up with makeup the day after was a miracle, and no one in the school knew about the fight since it happened after school. Hyunjae wanted it to stay that way, but a selfish, cruel part of him wished that everyone knew how sick your boyfriend was.

Well, now he was unsure if he was still your boyfriend.

Hyunjae turned his head back towards you, his cheek meeting the cold metal of his car.

You pursed your lips at his response and nodded slowly. If it were any other day, you wouldn’t have believed him. There was no universe where you’d choose to listen to Hyunjae over Jiwoong, but after a week of investigating and getting your head out of your ass, you found out on your own terms, and all the pieces made sense.

“I didn’t mean to.”

Hyunjae’s voice jerked you out of your thoughts, and as you adjusted to look back at him, you were surprised to still find him staring at you.

“I’m not a violent person, Y/N,” he whispered, an enduring hope lingering in his eyes. He wanted you to believe him, and for once, you did; you truly understood the man you hated most.

“I know, Jae.”

Hyunjae eased at your words, and the two of you fell back into a more comfortable yet aching silence. His fingers drummed against his abdomen, and after a while, he got sick of looking at the same four stars, so he closed his eyes, focusing on enjoying the light breeze instead. His heart was still racing, but it was less alarming. Regardless, he hated knowing that he potentially contributed to how much you were hurting right now.

Maybe if he had done something to prevent it earlier, whether it be telling you as soon as he found out or keeping completely out of your business so you could live in bliss, or, if he wasn’t so scared, he could’ve asked you to be his far before Jiwoong had. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, but Hyunjae would never know since he never tried, and now he was going to beat himself over it because now you’re devastated over losing your boyfriend and it was potentially his faul—

You laughed.

Hyunjae snapped his head towards you, his brows raised at your sudden change in mood—but it wasn’t the type of laugh he expected. Your laugh was one filled with pain, and he watched you shake your head, trying to refuse the tears that were rapidly welling up in your eyes once more. You sniffed and wiped the tears away with the back of your hand, choosing to look in the opposite direction because the last thing you wanted was for Hyunjae to see you vulnerable.

“It’s stupid,” you murmured. “This entire thing is stupid. I’m so fucking dumb.”

His lips parted to interject, to tell you that you were, in fact, ‘not dumb,’ but he clamped his mouth shut, knowing that his words probably wouldn’t help. From what he’d learned in the past, you liked it least when he tried telling you otherwise, no matter the situation.

“I should’ve known. I did know. The whole world knew. Even you knew, but it makes me think, was Eunseo just flocking around, flaunting to everyone that she had a crush on my boyfriend and managed to win him over? I just—I…I don’t know-...” You paused to catch your breath, beginning to choke on your tears as your chest shook, “I don’t know what I did wrong, you know?”

You shut your eyes, allowing the pain to engulf you. You knew fully well that your punishment was to deal with the pain, but you felt like you didn’t deserve it—that you deserved none of this. Why was this a penalty for being in love?

It was humiliating having everyone witness the reality you shielded from yourself, choosing hope and love over the truth.

“I just never felt more stupid in my life, and I feel even more stupid knowing that I still love him.”

Hyunjae sucked in his lips, gnawing on them as he bit back all his feelings, from his brain shredding to his heart weeping.

“I love him so much that I would let him do it to me all over again because I keep thinking he’d be better. I know he can be better, so why-...It’s just- Why do I do this to myself?”

Tears cascaded down your cheeks, each one leaving behind a trail for others to fall. They started pouring out of you rapidly, soon sobbing at the heart-wrenching pain of being betrayed by everyone in your life, Hyunjae included, because why, out of everyone, was he here for you when he should be the last person who cared?

You always wanted Hyunjae to be the antagonist of your life story, to have him as your biggest enemy and threat, so why was everyone else but him hurting you? Why was the villain of your fantasy taking the role of your knight in shining armor?

And yet, as much as it pained Hyunjae to process all your emotions, his mind wasn’t running correctly; he had you alone for the first time in months. He wanted nothing more than to pull you in his arms and whisper words of comfort in your ears, knowing you deserved it more than anyone, but he also wanted to shake you awake and slap you out of your misery, praying that you’d forget about Jiwoong; that right now, you being vulnerable was his chance to swoop in, to set whatever you wanted him to into flames, as long as if it meant you’d end up okay.

You sat up because if you lied down any longer, you would’ve started drowning in your own tears. Your sleeves were soaked, and he sat up alongside you, figuring that he should do something about it.

Hyunjae got back onto his feet and stood in front of you. He barely knew what he was doing, but that didn’t stop him from replacing your sleeves with his cold, clammy hands over your cheeks. There wasn’t a time that Hyunjae could recall where he had been this gentle with someone, and when you didn’t push him away, he tilted your head up to look at him.

Even with tears running down your cheeks, you looked angelic as ever.

Each droplet mirrored a star from the sky, and your eyes sparkled as they stayed locked on his.

“Take me,” you whispered, and Hyunjae’s whole world stopped.

“...What?” Hyunjae had only intended to wipe your tears away with the pads of his hands, perhaps whisper something along the lines of him being here for you for the night (and the rest of his life, let’s be honest), yet your first words were—no, he had to have been hallucinating.

Your hands trembled as they reached for his wrist, and although you were severely broken, the grip your fingers created was firm.

“Please.”

Like a moth to a flame, Hyunjae admired how pretty you looked, your lips plump and eyes wide, and he wanted nothing more than to take you into his backseat and treat you the way he’d always wanted to, especially after hearing your pleas, but he knew better. You both knew better.

“What exactly are you implying?” he asked, feeling like you had just inhaled all his oxygen and left him breathless.

You released his wrist and opted to hold onto his sleeve, tugging on it as you tried to get him to understand you.

“I want it to hurt, Jaehyun.”

Your tears were gone, and there was a hint of dominance in your tone that would’ve had him dropped to his knees in front of you. You were also one of the very few who resorted to calling him Jae, and now his actual name. He favored Hyunjae, but after hearing ‘Jaehyun’ from your lips, his preference had completely made a turnaround.

But Hyunjae worked to collect his thoughts, fully aware that this was wrong and he’d have to be the bigger person here. As much as he hated himself for giving up the perfect opportunity to have the girl of his dreams, he couldn’t ignore the large concern over your current mental state.

“You’re not thinking straight, Y/N,” he reasoned softly, his fingers reaching up to brush your hair out of your face, and for a second, Hyunjae swore he felt the alcohol kicking in—or perhaps it was you instead. The thought of being able to have you right now, to touch you and press his hands over your skin, to have you as his for just this night, was so intoxicating that he was seconds away from foaming at the mouth.

“I don’t need to think straight. I don’t want to think at all.”

Everything felt hotter and tighter, but he kept his composure, though with his eyes dropping to your begging lips and then your delicate fingers, he knew he was beginning to lose whatever was left of his sanity.

But he also knew you were using him; you had to be. There was no other explanation. It was only minutes ago when you professed how you continued to feel about Jiwoong—that your heart still belonged to him, and Hyunjae was allowed nowhere near it. He was your backup, your second option, yet that happened to be better than nothing, right?

Especially when he could have you right here, right now.

“You’re using me.”

Your expression didn’t falter.

“Then say no. Make us go back into your car and drive me home.” Your hand dropped from holding onto his sleeve but that was so you could wrap your arms around his neck, slowly bringing yourself closer to him. His cheeks were flushed as his mind flooded with possibilities of what could happen. Never had you ever wanted him, and he’d been dreaming of a moment like this for years. Your tear-stained cheeks, your pouty red lips—he wanted all of you.

“But you won’t,” you whispered, your breath hitting his skin. Your eyes landed on his lips, now craving him as much as he craved you. You needed a release, an outlet, to justify Jiwoong being better than Hyunjae. Hyunjae was worse in every way possible, and you wanted him to prove that to you. “You’d do anything I’d say, wouldn’t you?”

“What makes you say that?” Little did you know Hyunjae was crumbling inside, completely melting as his fingers grew weak at the idea of your lips on his. His hands, although wary, traveled to your waist, feeling your curves before trailing his hands down to your hips to grip them.

“You love me, don’t you?”

His heart stuttered, all words caught up in his throat, but he knew there was no defending himself—not when he was practically drooling at every move you made; he was hyperaware of the hand playing with the hair on his nape, the way your lips nearly hovered over his, and how your tears glistened under the moonlight.

His entire existence was confirmation of your words, and you knew it.

“You’d do anything for me, Jae. What’s stopping you now?”

There was a stillness as you two stared at one another. He swallowed and pulled slightly back.

He knew better.

“You don’t want me.” He was brokenhearted, a part of him understanding that you’d never be his, yet he wanted you in so many ways, wishing to have your mewls fill his ears and the smell of sex staining his clothes. The bulge in his pants was forming and pressing up against the tight confinement, making him groan.

He dropped his head downwards, his forehead leaning to rest against yours, as he closed his eyes and did his best to regulate his breathing—repeating in his head and out loud, again.

He knew better.

“You’re using me.”

You both knew better.

Yet with your lips ghosting his and your eyes half-hooded, you were prepared to give into the dark side.

“And I say take advantage of it.”

Hyunjae dived and pressed his lips onto yours, hunger driving his every movement. There was no stopping when he felt your lips curling up into a grin, his hands shifting to wrap around your torso to drag you closer. His heart burst at how perfectly his lips molded with yours, and it seemed as if there was fire shooting up into the sky and exploding—they weren’t fireworks, and the explosion was far bigger and more dangerous. It lit the entirety of the sky, the moon and stars included, into flames, a desire unlike any other.

Your left hand pressed firm against the back of his neck while the other traveled through his hair. Meanwhile, his hands had snuck beneath your shirt and felt for your lower back. Heavy breaths left the two of you as desperation crept through your veins, dictating your every movement.

The cold touch from his hands ignited your nervous system, every sense activated and overstimulated by Hyunjae as you released a breathy moan into his mouth.

You didn’t want him, but fuck, you needed him.

When you would pull back, his lips would chase yours, and you two fell into an endless cycle. He couldn’t even fathom how you were pulling away for air when you were his oxygen. Maybe you weren’t oxygen itself, but the fumes you emitted had already replaced his need for air, deluding him into believing that you were what he needed to stay alive.

You were suffocating, toxic, and destructive, and he wanted more.

After retracting from the kiss for the nth time, you turned your head to hold Hyunjae back from continuing. You both were panting, your cunt soaking, and he stared into your eyes like a puppy awaiting their next direction.

“Good boy,” you praised, and he laughed lowly and sheepishly, dropping his head as he processed what happened and the idea of it being potentially over.

“You’re lethal,” he breathed out.

“And you’re pitiful,” you spat. There was a playful grin on your lips, but those words ignited something within Hyunjae. He raised his head and cocked a brow at you, questioning your genuinity.

Just minutes ago you were crying over a guy that treated you terribly, and yet here you thought you had the authority to call him weak.

Perhaps he was; he was falling deeper into your pitless trap, enticed with every movement of yours, but he knew for a fact you weren’t any better than him.

You both were sick in the head for falling for people that treated the other like shit, yet your drive, your fuel, to win over the hearts of the people you loved was so strong, and it made you two unstoppable.

Hyunjae would punch Jiwoong all over again if he could.

Without a second thought, Hyunjae ducked his head down and ruthlessly attached his lips to your neck, eliciting a gasp from you. He kissed your skin fervently, his fingers teasing the rim of your shorts, and your hands shifted to hold onto his shoulders for support. You found yourself tossing your head back, providing him more room to do as he pleased, that if Jiwoong were to see you with marks on your neck, then maybe he’d want you back.

“Bold of you to call me pitiful,” he grumbled, sucking onto your neck until a blot of purple began to form.

“But it’s true, no?”

“You’re just as bad, Y/N.” He licked a stripe up your neck and over the mark, and the sensation made you cringe, disgust itching at your skin due to being covered in his saliva, but you wanted more of it. You wanted Hyunjae to treat you like you were nothing, to treat you worse than Jiwoong ever had, so you could direct your blame over to Hyunjae instead of your unknowing boyfriend.

You turned your head and slotted your lips with his again, already addicted to how perfect they were for you. Hyunjae knew the exact way to kiss you, to keep you on your toes, as your slick pooled up in your underwear at the mere thought of Hyunjae touching you.

The kiss was eager, a fight for control, and when Hyunjae didn’t surrender, you raised your knee, forcing your thigh to brush up against his crotch.

He gasped at the sensation and pulled away, bangs hanging over his eyes as he looked down at the sight. You teased him by keeping your touches gentle, but you made sure to keep your leg moving. Nothing intrigued you more than seeing Hyunjae beg or rut against your thigh, further proof of how pathetic he was for you. You gained a sense of ego knowing that he could have any girl in the world, that he has had every girl, and yet he would always come back to you. Now that you had him, it would be harder for him to return to a life without you under him, moaning his name.

You wanted to be his downfall.

Your nails latched onto the mesh, taking note of how easy it would be to rip the material, before pressing your thigh firmly up against his dick, making him jerk.

“You’re-...oh my god, Y/N,” he gasped, breathless. His eyes meet your devious ones, how you were basically Satan himself, and somehow, someway, he wouldn’t ask for anything different. “You’re playing a losing…a losing- game.”

“What more do I have left to lose?” There was some truth in your words as vulnerability struck you. Your leg then lowered as you regained a slight sense of reality, realizing that you were forcing Hyunjae into being your selfish source of relief. You hated Hyunjae, sure, but you knew this was the last thing he deserved—to use him when he’d been nothing but accommodating to you.

And your sick and twisted plan was that after this encounter, you’d leave him to rot.

Hyunjae didn’t deserve that at all.

But Hyunjae was already too far gone, too intoxicated, to even consider the repercussions of how he’d end up after this. The loss of contact with his crotch was what had him picking you up from his car, the tips of his fingers digging into your thighs, as he led you to the backseat.

Your eyes widened, your senses fully back, but you made him like this, and you were going to pay for it. Although scared for about what’s to come, the anticipation had you drooling, your lips pressing fierce kisses onto his skin while he opened the door with you in his arms.

He laid you down gently and crawled over you, keeping you trapped between his arms.

“This is what you wanted, right? For me to tear you apart until you can run back to Jiwoong and justify how poorly he treats you?”

Your brows bunched up at his words, your legs getting antsy being under him. There was no answering him, not when Hyunjae already knew how you were going to respond.

He brought one of his hands into your shorts and made the aggravating decision to slide his fingers over your underwear, depriving you of contact with his fingers.

Yet even with your underwear being a divider, he found your clit with ease and immediately started rubbing circles into the bud, making you buck your hips with a whine. The friction of the cloth was something you were unfamiliar with, and lord did it mess with you.

“You want me to treat you how he sees you? Worthless and undeserving of respect?” He flicked your clit and kissed your jaw. “If that’s what you want, that’s exactly what my princess is going to get.”

“Fuck,” you moaned, using your hands to push onto his shoulders and force him down. The drive to ride his tongue was strong, and if he kept teasing you, you would have lost it.

“I know you inside and out, Y/N. I know you better than him, and this is how you treat me.” He sucked in a cheek but ultimately decided to comply with what you wanted. He pulled off your shorts yet left your underwear on, and his brows raised. He wasn’t sure how his fingers had missed the texture of lace, but what you were wearing was certainly lingerie.

You looked down to see why he stopped, and when you realized why he froze, heat rose to your cheeks.

“I wanted to feel pretty,” you whispered, shutting your eyes after turning your head. It was embarrassing, now that you thought about it, but Hyunjae’s heart soared, and he wanted nothing more than for you to know how ethereal you looked.

But he shoved the feeling away, allowing his frustrations to get the better half of him.

When he pulled off your underwear, he cooed at how your essence oozed onto the material and raised the undergarment into the air, waiting for you to look.

“Did I do this?”

His mocking tone kept you from looking, but your curiosity got the best of you. You were met with the sight of a large wet, dark patch on your underwear, biting down on your lip as you looked at him with wide eyes. If you thought about it, you couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, or if there ever had been a time when you craved someone this badly.

He tossed it to the side and his hands massaged your thighs, keeping them spread open so he got a proper view of your core on display for him. The sight truly stunned him, reminding him that this was you he fantasized about and replicated with other girls—no one else.

“Do you normally take this long?” you rasped, tossing your head back against the seat, and Hyunjae rolled his eyes.

“I do you a favor, and this is how you treat me.”

“A favor is a stretch—”

Hyunjae plunged two fingers into your mouth, having them press firmly down against your tongue. He latched onto your jaw and pulled your head forward and up towards him, having your eyes meet his.

“Remind me, Y/N, who was begging for this?”

He dropped your head back down against the seat before you could even respond and used whatever saliva accumulated in your mouth as temporary lube, figuring that your slick would help him with stretching you out. You grunted at the impact, feeling helpless, as Hyunjae finally inserted his fingers inside of you.

Hyunjae’s fingers were enough to have your eyes rolling, but it was the ring that he wore that stimulated you the most. You weren’t aware that he was even wearing one, yet the cold band against your raging wet heat made you whimper and desperately grasp for his hair.

“Jaehyun, please,” you begged.

He chuckled and kept his movements slow, forcing you to fuck yourself onto his fingers weakly. When you did, he was in awe at how stunning you looked, how you seemed to be in your own world, and how you were enjoying him. By curling his fingers, a moan was pulled from your throat, making your eyes open as you looked at him. You continued to pool around his fingers, your voice weakly begging for so much more than his fingers and the cold air that brushed against your skin.

Never had you felt more vulnerable, but Hyunjae never once made you feel like you were doing something wrong, making you cling desperately to him. You forced his face down into your crotch and jerked at the feeling of his nose brushing up against your clit.

“Shameless, aren’t you?” he commented, laughing lowly, but you were too out of it to care.

“Shut the-...F-fuck, oh my god.”

Your whines had gotten more incessant the more useless he became, his fingers now completely stilled inside of you as he watched you roll your hips with a cheeky grin. He wanted to drag this out for as long as possible, knowing fully well that he could last all night.

When he took out his fingers, you were yanked out of your bliss and nearly begged for him to put them back in, but before you could get a word out, he had replaced his digits with his tongue. Your slick was dripping onto his lips, and as he dragged his wet muscle up and down your folds, he made sure to collect a small puddle of you onto his tongue to eventually swallow, wanting to savor you.

“Oh-...Oh my god, Jae—” Your orgasm was approaching, unsure of how it was here so soon, but you recognized the signs from the coil in your chest tightening to losing every sensation to the man beneath you. You rocked your hips continuously onto his tongue, and his thumb attached to your clit, making you see stars with how rapid his movements were.

He pulled his face back and forced his fingers back into you, and the final curl was what made you reach your peak, your hips in the air as you cried out his name.

As you came down from your high, you caught a glance of the way Hyunjae was looking at you; to him, you were otherworldly, and it was a sight he’d never forget. He wondered if Jiwoong ever saw you like this, if he ever made you feel this way, and suddenly his admiration had soured and contoured to something of darkness, rid of any empathy as he now looked at you with some form of disgust.

“All this for me, and you still have the fucking audacity to choose him.”

The mention of Jiwoong had your eyes wide open, tears reappearing at the mention and while being in your most vulnerable state. Your legs shook from the aftermath, feeling too weak to continue, yet Hyunjae seemed to have other plans.

Instead of shoving his fingers back into either of your mouths, he hovered over you and made sure you saw the way he dragged his fingers around your abdomen, drawing aimlessly over your skin with your essence before dragging a hand up to your breasts, massaging one of them as his other hand rested by your waist.

“Tell me, Y/N, did you buy this for him and never got to use it? That’s why you’re wearing it now with me? Am I your sloppy seconds?”

There was a slight growl under his tone, and while you shook your head subconsciously, he worked to remove your shirt, wanting a better look at your bra, before being met with a necklace you had been hiding; one with Jiwoong’s name.

And Hyunjae took no time breaking it from your neck.

Your jaw dropped, and you snapped out of your daze by sitting straight up, yet as you were about to yell at him for breaking your necklace, he shoved three fingers back into your pussy, shutting you up by having you moan at the intrusion.

“It looked cheap, anyway,” he muttered, forcing his mouth against yours momentarily to nip on your lower lip, tugging on it so your focus remained on him.

“That was—he’s mine,” you forced out, gasping at every thrust he made with his fingers, your sweet spot being abused as your hands latched onto his shoulders. You made sure your nails dug into his skin, wanting it to hurt, before pulling onto the mesh, wishing for it to tear.

“He’s not yours, princess. Tell me, how can you say that when his dick has been up other girls?” With his free hand, he grabbed your face and made sure you were staring straight at him before shoving it to the side.

“You need to fucking wake up and realize that you can dream all you want about how he’d react if he saw you hopping on my dick, but guess what? He wouldn’t care.” Hyunjae pulled out his fingers and left you alone in the backseat.

You sat there, a wreck and vulnerable, as you tried to catch your breath. You lay back on your forearms, curious eyes following his every movement.

“There’s a reason he hasn’t left you yet,” Hyunjae explained, opening the front door to his car to grab a condom and his phone. He tucked both into his back pocket before returning to you, bringing your lips to his before continuing to talk within the kiss.

“He’s stringing you along so you can boost his ego. He knows you will always be there for him, and you allow him to use you like that?”

You wrapped your fingers around Hyunjae’s neck, squeezing it before pushing it away to keep your distance, your frustration starting to grow.

“I’m beginning to think you’re all bark and no bite, Jaehyun,” you muttered, and with whatever strength you had left, you pushed him against the seat and got into his lap. Without hesitation, you started rocking your hips over his clothed dick, hoping your slick would seep in so he could feel you.

He hissed but allowed you to do as you pleased, his grip tight on your hips.

“I-...I think…if you asked me, you’re the one who’s projecting. I’m the one in a relationship, and you’re just a side piece.”

The speed of your hips increased, and Hyunjae felt ecstasy on the tip of his tongue, the confinements of his pants physically paining him the more you continued.

“You’re jealous, Jae. Just admit it.”

You pulled at his hair, loving the absolute control you had over him at that moment, but in one languid motion, Hyunjae managed to push you back down, this time with your stomach against the seats. You could feel your bodily fluids sticking to the nylon, and with how hard Hyunjae was pressing down into you, you were barely given a chance to move.

With one hand on your lower back, he kept you still as he took out both his phone and condom, making sure to place both on top of your bare skin.

“What’s there to be jealous of when you’re here under me? You want to be fucked stupid? Fine. Don’t fucking complain when you want me to be the villain.” You lurched at his words, refusing to let him win, but you were completely unable to do much damage as Hyunjae kicked off his pants and boxers while still keeping his weight on you.

He then picked up his phone and pulled up the camera, making sure to take a photo of you in his car before clicking record and tossing the phone onto the ground, hoping it was close enough to pick up on your sweet noises.

“Make sure to be loud for me, yeah? I’m sure Jiwoong would love it if I sent that video to him.”

“You wouldn’t fucking dare,” you bit back, your hand reaching out in an attempt to grab the device, but Hyunjae was quicker to grab your wrist, pinning it behind your back.

“I wouldn’t because I know how to appreciate what’s mine.” Hyunjae released his hold on you to roll on the condom, giving you the opportunity to move and take his phone as you pleased. To your dismay, there was no more effort left within you, only an ache to feel Hyunjae inside you.

“He appreciates me,” you mumbled, trying to convince yourself otherwise as you waited.

“Does he record you? Jerk off to your moans every night? Because I would, Y/N, just for you.” His voice was now by your ear, and when you turned your head to look at him, he pulled you into another hungry kiss, his dick now grazing against your hole.

“You’re fucking insane,” you bit back into the kiss, and he grinned against your lips, guiding his dick into you as he spoke.

“Psychotic, just for my princess.”

Venom laced his voice, dripping menacingly, and the insertion of his tip had you grasping for something in front of you, anything, and it was only then that you were able to process how thick his cock was.

“Can you take it?” he asked, his voice slightly softer than before. When you gave him a curt nod, he continued pushing in further. Maybe lube should’ve been an option, but you were so wet for him that it didn’t matter, knowing that the stretch probably would have hurt regardless.

“Fuck, fuck—he really doesn’t know what he’s missing,” Hyunjae gasped, his head resting against the back of yours. It was better than anything he’d dreamed of, better than any girl he imagined, because it was you, and your body was made for him.

“When was the last time he fucked you?” He was fully inside of you now, and when you didn’t answer, he decided to take it as a sign to move. With a firm grip on your waist, he pulled out just to slam back in, making you yell as you clawed at the seat, wishing there was something to bite on as you endured the pain that was quick to morph into pleasure.

Every glide pushed you further into the car, your forearms occasionally hitting the door, as his hips moved vigorously, working up to a pace that had you moaning without pause. Tears were flowing down your cheeks at the overwhelming pleasure of being manhandled—of being Hyunjae’s rag doll when he was meant to be yours, and your body seized up, being worked up to your orgasm once more with how precise each thrust seemed to be.

He adjusted to raise one of your legs to his hip, giving him a new angle to pound into you as he worships you with his dick, and you shook out of pleasure, whining as you saw white and reached your second orgasm for the night. You pulsated around his cock, strangled moans ripping from your throat as tears mixed with your drool by your chin.

And Hyunjae showed no signs of stopping.

He made sure to press your face down against the seats, wanting every liquid to fall and stain his car, giving him something to remember you by.

Oh, and there was the recording too.

While kneeling inside of the cramped car, he slowed his movements and inclined his torso towards you. In one swift motion, he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you up, locking you inside his elbow as he forced you to look into your reflection in the car window.

“Look at you, the school’s favorite slut. What happens if the recording drops? The whole school would know you’re mine, wouldn’t they?” He pressed his chest against your back, the mesh rubbing against your skin as his lips remained near your ear, forcing you to listen to every word.

You limped against him, your flames completely burnt out, and your fingers tugged onto the mesh around his arm, successfully ripping it after some time, but Hyunjae seemed unphased. In fact, it turned him on even more knowing that he had you locked in, that you were his.

“Look at your pretty cunt taking me in so well. It was so wet for me, wasn’t it? It still is. And guess what? You’re in my car. You belong to me, and my good girl is only now just finding out about it, isn’t she?”

“I-I’m…I’m not-...not yours,” you retaliated, creating red angry marks into his skin with your nails as you endured being used, stifling your moans as you looked at how wrecked you were, how bare you seemed to be compared to Hyunjae. You were much more of a mess, from your hair to the bruises on your neck. Your pussy kept tightening up around his dick, convulsing occasionally with every hit toward your g-spot, and you held onto Hyunjae each time.

Your head drooped down, thinking about how your heart ached for Jiwoong, yet the rest of your body was meant for Hyunjae.

“Whose fucking dick is inside of you right now?” He scoffed and pulled on your hair, forcing your head back up so he could directly speak into your ear. “Wake up, Y/N,” he demanded. “You’re mine.”

He dropped you back onto the seat like you were nothing, leaving you completely helpless, your throat void of any words as your eyes closed and met the back of your skull, too fucked out to communicate. You tried reaching for the door handle, just something to hold onto, yet you couldn’t.

“You tell me I’m pitiful, that I’m basically delusional when you’re going to be the reason my car will smell like sex for weeks.”

Your face was forced back into the puddle of liquid you created earlier, being shifted back and forth against the seat as if you were made for his dick and not vice versa.

“It’s crazy how pathetic you are, how willing you are to break yourself down in front of everyone just to have him. That-...fuck…that you’re so convinced he wants you and you two are soulmates.” He dragged his fingers through your hair and grabbed your roots. “You called me, you wanted me, and I have you right now, moaning my name, and you have nothing.”

Something about his words kept bringing out your orgasms, each thrust adding to the pleasure immensely. You didn’t know how much you could handle—afraid you may pass out from how much he was using you, from his tight grip around you to his dick hitting inside of you mercilessly.

Hyunjae whispering ‘I won, Y/N’ was what had you losing it, your high this time ending up stronger than the rest. You were fully crying now, and yet he continued as if you were nothing.

He peppered your shoulder with kisses and had the slight decency to slow his pace, but he also took note of your sobs.

“Don’t tell me you still want him,” he began rambling, his lips still on your shoulder. “Don’t tell me after this that your heart still belongs to him, because if that were the case, I’d make you call him right now. Say you wish it was him instead of me, and that he’s the love of your life while you’re stuffed with my dick. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

You could no longer think, and what you hated most was how reactive your body was—how you were just able to come for the third time, but Hyunjae’s dick solely being inside you snapped some other straw you weren’t aware you had, finding that your last high was incoming.

Hyunjae had picked up the pace by then, and by knowing your body incredibly well, he reached down to your sensitive clit to relieve you. You both knew your fourth was arriving, and you held on tight to his arm.

“J-Jaehy- hyun, I’m—”

“Mine.”

You cried out, your entire body shaking, and Hyunjae pulled out, immediately releasing onto your back with a guttural moan after yanking off the condom. He was forced to catch his breath, watching you float in and out of consciousness.

Your eyes were closed, struggling to breathe through your sobs, and Hyunjae consoled you with a kiss on the back of your shoulder.

“You’re mine, Y/N, whether you like it or not.”

He then pressed a kiss to your cheek before leaving to grab paper towels from his trunk. You were heaving, still shaking, and left alone as a mess in his backseat, yet with him gone, you felt even more useless, wanting him back by your side instantly. You weakly cried out for him, your nails dragging against the seat in hopes of being in his arms soon, and maybe he was right.

Maybe you were his.

OUR INFERNO [ M.LIST | TWO ]

NAVIGATION — THE BOYZ

539 notes · View notes

viastro · 3 years ago

Text

dynasty | lee jaehyun

ミ★ synopsis: as the university’s part-time librarian, you didn’t expect to develop a relationship with the guy that likes to skip lecture in order to take a nap in the library instead. and as the bad boy of the university, hyunjae had never crossed paths with you until he started sleeping in the library—so he can’t explain why you’re so familiar to him.

ミ★ genre: reincarnation!au, badboy!hyunjae, librarian!reader, angst, some fluff, some humor

ミ★ warnings: major character death, depictions of violence, mentions of blood

ミ★ word count: 20,800

ミ★ pairings: hyunjae x gender neutral reader

ミ★ notes: happy very belated birthday to my soulmate and best friend, @sunlightwoo this oneshot took me an incredibly long time to write and it’s quite ridiculous how long it ended up becoming... but i really hope you love it <3 i love you so much gina, thank you for everything <3

ミ★ taglist: @sunlightwoo @junjungsunwoo @woozisnoots @w8nuzone @miyuuraiura @sbnchaos @mybbtaeyong4thewin

“Please. You can take me, but not him. He has nothing to do with this.” You beg the soldier, falling to your knees without a second thought as you plead. The commander stares down at you, and you watch as the corner of his lips quirks upwards in amusement.

“Oh, Midnight.” He says in a sweet tone, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion, only for your blood to run cold when you see his hand wrap around the gun in his pocket.

“How bold of you to think that I would have mercy on a thief.”

You gasp awake, the sound of the gunshot ringing in your ears as you blink up at the ceiling. You’re drenched in sweat, making you recoil in slight disgust as you groggily sit up in your bed. You look out the window, seeing the sky that’s still full of stars, signaling that you have a long time until you need to wake up for your lectures in the morning.

You shake your head, reaching up and resting a hand over your forehead as you let out a shaky breath.

“What a weird dream.”

You push the cart full of books down the aisle, looking through the shelves to see where to place the book in your hand. A quiet, ah, escapes your lips when you discover its place, and you quickly put the book back in its rightful spot on the shelf. Smiling to yourself, you push the cart out of the aisle to head back towards the front desk.

You glance over towards the study tables, seeing the familiar groups of faces of students who enjoy going to this library to study. You slowly come to a stop when you see an unfamiliar body slumped over one of them, and you frown slightly at the sight. Looking around, you see no one even sparing a glance towards them, and you bite your bottom lip. You tentatively walk over, and gently knock your hand on the table as a means to wake them.

Only to blink when they don’t move at all.

Pursing your lips, you step around so that you’re standing where their head is facing, and you pause when you finally lay eyes on the man.

His eyelashes are long, resting beautifully on the tops of his cheeks as he breathes softly. From the slope of his nose, to his pretty cupid's bow—you find yourself in a state of awe at the beauty of this man. There’s also the smallest inkling you feel within your chest as you stare at his sleeping face, and you wonder why you can’t help but think he looks a bit familiar.

“I’ll let him sleep.” You say quietly, thinking that he must be rather tired to have decided to take a nap in the University library. Turning around, you walk away from the man and go back to your cart. You push it to the front desk, and plop down into your seat behind it. Letting out a breath, you turn on the computer to begin a new round of solitaire.

“Dude, where were you? I was saving the seat beside me cause you said you’d come to lecture today.” Juyeon asks when Hyunjae walks up to him sitting on the bench. He lets out a yawn and shrugs his shoulders, scratching the back of his neck as he replies, “I didn’t wanna fall asleep during class, so I took a nap in the library instead.”

Juyeon’s eyes soften a bit at the news, “You still having trouble sleeping?”

Hyunjae nods his head, adjusting Juyeon’s backpack strap for him as they begin to walk out of the quad. He looks off to the side with a sigh, thinking of how he suddenly went from being able to have a dreamless sleep, to having sleepless nights due to dreams that he can never remember.

“I think you should go see someone so that they can prescribe you something. The melatonin gummies aren’t working for you, so this would be the next step.” Juyeon says, and Hyunjae purses his lips at the thought of having to take sleeping pills just to get a good night’s rest.

“It happened randomly, so I’ll probably be able to sleep normally at a random time too.” Hyunjae reasons, and Juyeon frowns at his friend’s stubborn nature. He nudges his shoulder, and Hyunjae lets out a chuckle at the blonde’s concern for him.

“I’m okay, Juyeon. This’ll pass.” Hyunjae tells him, and Juyeon just lets out a sigh of defeat as he just nods his head. Hyunjae places his arm over Juyeon’s shoulders, glad that he has such a good friend by his side.

“Now that you’re done acting like a mother,” Hyunjae begins, and Juyeon scoffs at the term. “You wanna go to that party Haknyeon and Eric are hosting tonight?”

He watches as the corner of Juyeon’s lips quirk upwards at the mention of a party, and he knows he’s got his best friend interested. As they begin talking about the plan for tonight, Hyunjae tries to ignore the heavy weight of exhaustion settled over his shoulders.

“Hi Kevin.” You greet your coworker as you walk past the desk to clock in. He gives you a smile, happy to see you after having not been scheduled together in a while. “Yn! I missed you.”

“Missed me? You just missed working with me since I put away all the books for you.” You tease with a grin, and he immediately begins to protest as you laugh quietly. While the two of you talk, your attention is caught by someone walking past the front desk with his airpods in his ears.

You take notice of the bags under his eyes in the brief glance you get of his face, and your eyes widen when you suddenly recognize him as the guy who took a nap on one of the study tables from the week before.

“And that’s how I got Jacob to curse for the first time. Was definitely something I never want to experience again, but I’m glad I scratched it off the bucket list.” Kevin finishes as he scans another book, looking up at you to catch your reaction, only to see you distracted. His eyes follow your gaze, and he almost chokes when he realizes just who you’re so distracted by.

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on him too.” He whines, and your head snaps back towards Kevin. “Huh?”

He gestures in the direction the guy went, and you raise an eyebrow, “Do you know him?”

Kevin just gives you a deadpan stare, and you blink, wondering if you asked the wrong thing. He chuckles and shakes his head, handing you a book to place on the cart. Taking it from his grasp, he begins to explain, “I can’t believe that you actually live under a rock.”

“Hey!”

“He’s my friend, and he’s well known at our uni cause he’s a handsome ass bitch. Some students like to call him a bad boy since he drives a motorcycle and doesn’t really talk to many people outside of our friend group, but I really think he’s the farthest thing from that.” Kevin explains with a giggle, and you find yourself wondering how you never knew any of this information when you and Kevin are besties at work.

You glance over in his direction, finding him fast asleep over one of the study tables once again. There’s an indecipherable emotion that tingles within your chest as you stare at his slumped over figure, and you question why you’re so intrigued by a man that you’ve never once shared an interaction with.

“What’s his name?” You ask in a soft voice, choosing to ignore the thought in your brain as you turn back towards your friend. He looks at you with a knowing smile, and he just lets out a breath as he hands you another book.

“Hyunjae. His name is Lee Hyunjae.”

It’s a few hours into your shift when you begin putting the books back into their respective places on the shelves. This is probably your favorite thing to do while working at the library because you’ve always enjoyed organizing, and this is the epitome of that.

Pushing your cart to the next aisle, you briefly look up towards the study tables, only to blink in surprise when you find Hyunjae still fast asleep on the table. Glancing down at your watch, you see that it’s already 6 o’clock in the evening.

“He’s been sleeping there this whole time?” You murmur as you look at him from the bookshelves. Pursing your lips, you glance around, seeing a few students minding their own business as they study at their own respective tables. You look back in his direction one more time, before letting out a breath and pushing the cart in his direction.

You wonder why you’re so entranced by him, a man you’ve never met nor spoken to once in your life. Since the day you saw him asleep in the library for the first time, you felt yourself gravitate towards him, and you don’t even know why.

Is it because he’s handsome? Because you found it funny that he had come to the library just to sleep? You’re not sure.

But as you bend down so that you’re eye-level with his sleeping face, you still can’t figure out the answer.

Standing back up, you reach out and gently tap his shoulder. When he doesn’t even shift slightly, you bite the inside of your cheek. You gently tap his shoulder again, “Excuse me? Sir?”

You watch as his eyebrows furrow at your voice. Moving to tap him again, you stop when his eyes slowly begin to open. He blinks tiredly, confused as to what’s going on around him as he gets used to the light flooding his vision. Letting out a quiet yawn, he turns his head in your direction, only to pause when he realizes there’s someone standing beside him.

His gaze slowly trails up towards your face, and he feels his breath get taken away when he locks eyes with you. Your eyes sparkle underneath the light as you look at him with a small amused smile, and he can only blink at the sight as a question suddenly comes to mind.

am i… in heaven?

“Hi, I’m really sorry to have woken you up from your nap. It’s just that you’ve been sleeping here for the last three hours, and I feel like you would be much more comfortable in your own bed.” You explain, warmth flooding your face as you speak because oh God you’re shy. He can only stare at you in silence, making you wonder if you made the right decision as you look back at him with increasing anxiety.

He blinks, before looking down at the table where he’s been sleeping this whole time. He lets out a quiet chuckle, reaching up and running a hand through his hair as he stands up from the chair. He picks up his backpack and throws it over his shoulder, looking back at you with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry about that.” He says, and you immediately raise your hands towards him and shake them. “No! It’s okay! Really, I just woke you up because I would rather you be comfortable in a bed rather than an old wooden chair and a table.”

His eyes bore into yours, and you can only look back into his as the sound of your own heartbeat floods your ears from how handsome he is. You watch as a small smile forms on his face, and he reaches out towards you with his hand.

“My name is Lee Hyunjae.”

Glancing down at his hand, a soft laugh escapes you as you reach out and take hold of it. Looking back up into his eyes, you smile as you say,

“My name is yn yln.”

Hyunjae feels his heart pang against his chest when your name leaves your lips, a lump forming in his throat as he stares at your smiling face. Not wanting to appear affected, he gives you a grin and the two of you let go of each other’s hands.

“Well, it was nice meeting you, yn.” Hyunjae tells you, and you nod your head with a warm face. “It was nice meeting you too, Hyunjae.”

And with that, you watch as the “bad boy” of the university turns around and walks away. Your eyes follow him until he’s out of sight, and a breath escapes you as you lean against the table. You raise your hands up to cup your warm face, thoughts running a mile a minute as the whole interaction continues to play in your head.

While Hyunjae stops at the back of the library, resting his hand against the wall as he sucks in a shaky breath. Tears flood his eyes as he stares down at the ground, trying his best to hold them back.

He doesn’t understand why he felt such a large feeling of sadness wash over him when you had said your name, or why he’s fighting back tears as he stands outside of the library.

All he can really make sense of is that you have a beautiful smile.

“Jaehyun!” He turns at the call of his name, smiling brightly when he sees Hyunjun hurrying towards him with a loaf of bread he bought. He reaches out and wraps an arm around his friend’s shoulders once he’s close enough, ruffling his hair with his hand. “Did you make your move?”

Hyunjun immediately shoots him a glare, nudging him in the stomach with his elbow. “No. I don’t know why you’re so fixated on me and the baker’s daughter.”

“Cause it’s obvious that you have a crush on her.” He teases, to which he receives another jab to the stomach. He clutches his side, wincing in pain at Hyunjun’s sharp elbows as his friend chuckles.

“We just did the usual, talking casually as she got me the loaf of bread I ordered. Nothing special.” Hyunjun explains with a soft smile, and he lets out a disappointed breath. “Tsk, thought I taught you better.”

“The only thing you’ve taught me is that I should get better friends. Then again, I should’ve expected that the librarian who talks to books would be strange.”

“Hey! You know that books are precious! Take that back!”

“No!”

He’s about to put Hyunjun in a chokehold when a shoulder bumps into his own, causing him to take a step back. With a frown taking over his features, he turns his head to glance back at the person who bumped into him. His eyes slowly trail up from the ground and up their body, stopping at their lips when they begin to say:

“I’m sorry—”

Hyunjae blinks his eyes open, turning his head and squinting towards the sunlight that’s managed to peek through the sliver of his curtain. He lets out a groan, groggily rubbing his face as he sits up in his bed. Running a hand through his hair, he looks at the time and sees that it’s 8 am.

“Four hours of sleep.” He murmurs, staring tiredly at his clock as he thinks of his schedule for the day. He has calc at 11:30, bio at 12:30, then he has that class he always skips at 1:30. Raising his hands up towards his face, he shuts his eyes as the growingly distant memory of his dreams play behind them. Lowering his hands, he lets out a sigh.

“Why do they feel so real?”

“Why are you at the library when you’re not even working today? It’s Friday, wouldn’t you rather be out having fun?” Kevin asks with a grin when you walk up to the counter. You shrug your shoulders, “Maybe because I’m a student that likes to study here? Besides, you know I’d rather hang out in the library.”

Kevin chuckles, the sound making you smile as he gestures towards the study tables. “Whenever you feel like taking a break, come over here and talk to me. I’m on shift until 6.”

You give him a thumbs up, “Of course! I’ll talk to you later.”

After bidding Kevin goodbye, you walk towards the study tables in hopes that there’s one that’s empty. You do a quick scan for an available table, only for your eyes to stop on a familiar sight.

Hyunjae’s laid over the surface of a table, head resting on his arms that act as a pillow. His backpack is placed in the seat beside him, no laptop or journal taken out and on the table either.

A small smile forms on your face as you make your way over to where he’s seated. Biting the inside of your cheek, you slowly bend down so that the two of you are face to face. Your eyes roam over his features, and you quietly wonder how he can sleep so soundly over an uncomfortable surface like this.

You’re about to stand back up when his eyes slowly blink open, and you’re rendered frozen in place when his eyes bore into yours.

“Yn?”

You quickly take a step back, nervous chuckles escaping you as he tiredly sits up from his original position. Rubbing his eyes, he looks at you with a curious gaze, “How long were you watching me like that?”

You blink, “Oh, you know. A couple seconds or so…”

Hyunjae gazes at you for a moment longer, before a small smile forms on his lips. Shaking his head, he covers his mouth to let out a yawn as you awkwardly stand in front of him. You suck in a deep breath before gesturing over to the two empty chairs in front of him.

“Can I sit with you?”

The two of you stare at each other for a second, with regret slowly inching up your throat the longer you wait for his answer. Clenching your fists at your sides, you’re about to tell him that you’ll find another table when he finally responds, “Yeah, of course you can sit with me.”

The corners of your lips tilt upwards, and you nod your head. Stepping over to the chairs across from him, you pull out the seat and sit down. Putting your bag down in the chair beside you, you pull out your laptop and open it up, preparing to get to work.

Hyunjae quietly watches you as you do this, admiring the way the sunlight peeks in through the windows and hits your face as you reach for your headphones. He wonders why you had chosen to sit with him when there were other tables that are also only occupied by one person.

“You’re not working today?” Hyunjae asks right before you’re about to put in an earbud, and you nod your head. “Today’s my day off, but I still need to write an essay.”

“For what class?”

“Multicultural History. I was given a specific timeline and I basically just need to write about it for seven pages.” You explain with a sigh, watching as the latter cringes at how much you need to write. A small giggle escapes you at his reaction, and Hyunjae’s eyes sparkle at the sound.

“You can continue your nap, I just didn’t feel like sitting alone.” You tell him with a smile, and he nods. Moving to rest his head on his arms, he stops right before he closes his eyes and looks back at you. You tilt your head at his sudden pause, only for warmth to flood your face when he says,

“Whether you’re working or not, you can always come sit with me.”

And with that, Hyunjae lowers his face into his arms to take another nap. While you just sit there in shock, letting his words sink in as you stare at the pretty man with warm cheeks.

It’s a couple of hours later when Hyunjae finally wakes up, and he slowly blinks his eyes open as he sits up properly in his seat. Running a hand through his hair, he starts to yawn when your voice quietly greets him, “Good morning.”

He looks at you with an amused look in his eyes, and you grin back at him before glancing back at your laptop screen and typing away. Stretching his arms over his head, he gazes at the clock on the wall and sees that it’s now 7 pm.

He turns back to you, and reaches out and taps the top of your laptop. Halting your typing, you pause your music and pull out an earbud, “Mm?”

“Are you hungry? It’s around dinner time.” Hyunjae asks, and your eyebrows furrow. Your eyes dart down to the time on your screen, and you blink in surprise when you see that it’s already 7 at night. “Oh shit.”

He chuckles at how you sound when you curse, having only heard you be soft spoken in the times the two of you interacted. You give him a smile and reach a hand up to scratch the back of your neck, not realizing how long you’ve been working on your essay.

“I didn’t know that much time had passed.” You mutter shyly, and Hyunjae nods his head in agreement. Pressing your lips into a thin line, you gently shut your laptop and slip it into its sleeve, before beginning to pack the rest of your stuff.

Hyunjae watches you quietly as he stands up from the table. A question comes to mind as he throws his bag over his shoulder, and he lets out a breath while he looks at you. “Do you want to go to the convenience store together?”

You physically halt your movements right as you’re about to put your laptop into your bag, and slowly turn your head towards Hyunjae. “Heh?”

A small smile forms on his face at your reaction, and he tilts his head to the side, “Should I take that as a no?”

Your eyes widen and you immediately lift your hands up to him, “No!”

“No?”

“I mean, no as in, no you shouldn’t take that as a no.” You panic, and Hyunjae bites back a laugh. Blinking your eyes, you let out a quiet cough and promptly place your laptop in your bag, before zipping it up and throwing it over your shoulder. “R-Ramen, shall we?”

Hyunjae nods his head, amusement dancing in his eyes as the two of you walk side-by-side to the exit. You glance over towards the front desk, seeing that Kevin has long been replaced by your other coworker since he got off an hour before.

“Damn, Kevin left already.” Hyunjae points out once you both reach the doors, and you nod as you each walk out. “He got off at 6, and now he’s probably going to be petty with me since I didn’t take a break to go talk to him.”

Hyunjae chuckles, already imagining what the latter would complain about. “Sounds like Kevin.”

A comfortable silence falls over the two of you as you head in the direction of the convenience store. Your eyes look over the scenery of the trees and the remnants of the sunset as you smile softly to yourself, while Hyunjae takes small glances at you, wondering how he can feel so comfortable walking in silence with a person he hardly knows.

“Did you finish writing your essay?” Hyunjae asks you after a moment, and you turn to him with an embarrassed smile. Rubbing the back of your neck, you let out a sigh, “No, not yet. I still have to write two more pages and then edit everything.”

“You sound disappointed by that.” Hyunjae points out, and you nod your head with a slight pout to your lips.

“I just wish I was more productive. Normally, I would’ve been able to finish writing seven pages easily, but I guess I was having an off day today.” You explain with a chuckle, but it slowly dies out when you don’t receive an immediate response. Turning your head to glance at the pretty man, you find him looking at you with a small smile on his face. He lets out a low whistle and turns away once he realizes that he’s just been staring, and you look down at the ground.

“I think you accomplished a lot during the time that you were working on it, so don’t be too hard on yourself for those last two pages.” Hyunjae tells you, and you bite the inside of your cheek at his words. There’s a sense of comfort that fills your heart, overtaking the slight disappointment you had originally felt.

Turning to him, you let out a giggle as you ask, “How about you? How was your nap?”

Hyunjae blinks at the question, before laughing quietly and nodding. “It was alright, felt nice knowing that I had someone to protect me while I was sleeping.”

He pauses after the sentence leaves him, and he tilts his head as he questions why he feels so weird. It’s only a second later when a brief memory suddenly comes to mind,

He lays on the grass, looking up at the blue sky as the heat from the sun lays over him like a warm blanket. Feeling a pair of eyes on him, he lets out a quiet chuckle, “Mm?”

“What?” The voice asks, and he smiles to himself, knowing that they’re trying to play it off as if he didn’t catch them. “You were staring.”

“I was just making sure you were safe.” They respond, and he laughs.

“What! What’s so funny about that?”

“Why would there be danger in this field of grass that’s far away from the city? Trust me, I’ve been going here since I was a child. No one knows of this place except you and me now.” He explains, only to hear a quiet chuckle in response. Turning to glance at them, their features remain a blur as the sun appears from behind their head, rendering their face unrecognizable. He blinks when their hand suddenly reaches out and rests on Hyunjae’s head, gently patting his hair as they say in a soft voice,

“No matter where you are, or where you go, I’ll be by your side to protect you.”

Hyunjae sucks in a sharp breath once the memory disappears, making you turn towards him with a look of concern on your face. His eyes are wide as he stares down at the ground while the two of you walk, and you notice how pale his skin has become.

You stop walking and gently grasp his wrist, making him halt his movements. “Hyunjae, are you okay?”

He turns his head and looks back at you, just to find you looking at him with worry etched over your features. Biting the inside of his cheek, he tries to shake off the initial shock he felt when the memory came to mind, as this has never happened while he was awake.

You watch as he finally gives you a smile, acting as if everything’s okay as he answers, “I’m alright, just remembered that I have to work on homework tonight.”

You stare at him for a moment longer, before nodding your head and letting go of his hand. The two of you aren’t close enough for you to ask him more, and you can already see that he doesn’t want to talk about it further. “Understandable. It’s kinda like a jumpscare.”

He chuckles and smiles in agreement as you begin to walk again, completely dropping the topic of whatever it was that bothered him. When you draw closer to the convenience store, you can’t help your curiosity as you turn to him again, “Why do you sleep in the library almost everyday? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Hyunjae doesn’t look surprised at the question, since he expected that you would probably ask him at some point. However, he doesn’t answer it until the two of you reach the entrance to the store, and he pulls open the door and holds it open for you.

Giving you a small smile, he finally responds, “I don’t really care for my technical writing class.”

Hyunjae heads towards the library with a little skip in his step, heart feeling warm in his chest as he thinks of seeing you again. The last time he saw you was a couple days ago when the two of you went to the convenience store together, since he didn’t need to go to the library due to it being the weekend.

“So you just go to the library to skip class and take a nap?” You ask with a hint of disbelief in your gaze as you step inside. Hyunjae nods his head with a quiet chuckle, closing the door and walking beside you towards the aisle of ramen.

“Why don’t you just go back to your apartment and take a nap then? The library tables can’t be more comfortable than your own bed.” You say as you reach out and pick up a shin ramen, and Hyunjae just shrugs his shoulders. He picks up the neoguri ramen, feeling a slight weight over his shoulders as the real reason why he goes to the library remains in the back of his mind.

“I find that sleep comes easier at the library than it does at home.”

Just as Hyunjae’s about to push open the doors to the library, he lets out a yelp when his backpack is suddenly tugged from behind, yanking him backwards.

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Hyunjae exclaims when he tries to glance back, only to be dragged away from the library and down the steps. Once they’re at the bottom of the stairs, the person finally lets go, and Hyunjae turns around to start shouting at them, only to stop.

He lets out a sigh, “God damn it, Juyeon.”

“We’re going to class together, whether you like it or not.” Juyeon says with a big smile. Hyunjae groans when Juyeon wraps an arm around his shoulders, beginning to bring him in the direction of their building.

Hyunjae steps out from under Juyeon’s arm and points towards him, “I’m not going. I have my daily nap to attend to and that is much more important than technical writing.”

Juyeon squints at Hyunjae, making the latter look away and over to the library to avoid eye contact. The blonde continues to analyze his friend, before letting out a sigh of disappointment and shaking his head.

“Instead of taking you to class, should I take you to the hospital to finally get sleeping medicine instead?” Juyeon asks, a stern expression on his face. Hyunjae just presses his lips into a thin line, “You sound like a mother.”

“Would you rather have Sangyeon scold you? You can hardly sleep at your own apartment, you skip class, and go to the library not to study—but to sleep.” Juyeon says, making Hyunjae glance down at the ground. Juyeon stares at him for a moment longer, before looking away and running a hand through his hair.

“I’m just worried about you.”

“I know, but I’m fine. I’m not even failing the class either! I’m just going through a slump right now, but I should be able to sleep normally after it’s over.” Hyunjae explains earnestly, hoping that this will appease him so that he doesn’t have another thing to stress about. Juyeon reaches out and pats Hyunjae’s shoulder, “Okay, but you’re still going to class with me.”

“Oh hell no.”

“Professor is having us choose our partners for the group project that’s due at the end of the quarter and I need you there.” Juyeon says, before wrapping his arm around the back of Hyunjae’s neck and beginning to drag him towards the building of their classroom again.

“But—”

“No buts! It’s just for today, the professor needs to know that I have a partner so that I don’t end up working with some stranger.”

Hyunjae fails to come up with an excuse to skip this lecture and go to the library instead. He lets out a sigh of defeat as he gets dragged away, knowing that he should at least attend this section for the sake of his project. Taking a quick glance back at the library, he bites the inside of his cheek at the thought of you possibly waiting for him.

I’ll go see you later, yn.

You push the cart full of books past the aisles, looking at the study tables as you walk by, but failing to see that familiar slumped over figure. Pursing your lips, you shake your head and turn into the non-fiction aisle.

“Why do I feel a bit disappointed? I should be happy that he went to class.” You mutter, picking up a book and placing it into its designated spot. Doing a quick onceover of the shelf, you catch sight of a book that’s not meant to be in this aisle.

“Why would someone put Frog and Toad next to Stephen Hawking?” You ask yourself as you reach out and take it out of the shelf, only to lock eyes with someone in the next aisle. You blink in surprise, only for a smile to immediately take over your features when you recognize them.

“Lee Hyunjae!” You whisper-shout, and he waves at you with a grin. He holds up something in a plastic bag, and you raise an eyebrow at him, before gesturing for him to come into your aisle. Giving you a thumbs up, he disappears from sight and appears by your side a few seconds later.

“Where were you?” The question falls past your lips without a second thought, and you just as quickly turn around and slap yourself on the forehead. Hyunjae bites the inside of his cheek to hold back his laughter, watching as you eventually turn back around to face him with an embarrassed grin.

He leans against the shelf, a smirk on his lips when he asks, “Were you waiting for me?”

“No!” You exclaim, only to flinch back when you receive a few shushes from those who are studying. You do a quick bow in their direction, having forgotten that you’re in a public library as you turn back to Hyunjae with regained composure. “No. I just noticed that you weren’t at one of the study tables.”

“Ah.” Hyunjae says, and you let out a breath of relief.

“So you were looking for me?” He teases, and you press your lips into a thin line. He lets out a quiet laugh and waves his hand at you to signal that he’s just joking around, before lifting up the bag that you now realize holds a container of takeout food.

“What’s this? Are you having dinner here? You know that you can’t eat in the library—”

“It’s for you.” Hyunjae interjects, and you stare at him, mouth still open as the rest of the sentence remains lodged in your throat. He smiles, “I got you some kimchi jjigae since I know that you won’t be getting off shift until past dinner.”

You continue to stare at him in shock, unable to formulate a response since you’re still trying to digest the fact that he went out of his way to buy you dinner. He reaches a hand up and waves it in front of your face, causing you to snap out of your daze.

“O-Oh God, sorry. I just… I can’t believe you got me food.” You laugh softly as you stare down at the bag of take out, and he grins.

“I didn’t want you to have a late dinner.” He mutters in response, and you look up into his eyes. The two of you stare at each other in silence for a moment, with warmth flooding your face, and Hyunjae wondering if you can hear how hard his heart is beating against his chest.

“Thank you.” You say, and the corners of his lips quirk upwards as he nods. Without a second thought, he reaches out and grasps your hand, making your eyes widen in surprise. He lifts it up and faces your palm towards the ceiling, before repeating the action with your other hand.

Before you can ask what he’s doing, he gently plops the bag of takeout into your hands. You look down at the container, then glance back up at his face, just to see the warm smile resting over his features as he stares into your eyes.

“Eat well, okay?”

After nodding your head, he gives you one last grin, before turning around and walking out of the library. Your eyes trail after him, and once he’s out of sight, you glance down at the bag of takeout in your hands.

You let out a happy sigh, “He remembered that I work late tonight.”

“Why would a librarian have to work late at night?” A voice huffs from the next aisle, and Hyunjae chuckles at them. Taking a book off the shelf, he sees the back of the person’s head as they glance up at the other books. “Cause I’m the son of the family that owns this library, and that means I have to make sure all the books are in their designated spots.”

“Pft. Still doesn’t mean you need to work late hours.”

He turns the book over in his hand, and grins down at the cover. Letting out a breath, he walks over to the aisle the person’s in and stares at the back of their head as they’re crouched down to look at the books on the bottom shelf.

He lifts up the book in his hand, “Read this book.”

“Is it the bible?” They ask, making him roll his eyes.

“Pride and Prejudice.” He answers, and he watches as they turn their head slightly.

“Do you think I’d like it?” He stares at them for a moment, before chuckling and waving the book in his hand. “I wouldn’t have told you to read it if I didn’t think you wouldn’t like it.”

They let out a soft laugh, a sound that makes his heart warm.

“I guess I should read it then.” They say, before finally beginning to turn their head to look at him.

Hyunjae blinks his eyes open, a furrow to his brows as he slowly sits up from the table. He glances around the library, seeing that the afternoon sky had already turned dark during the time he was asleep. He sighs, “The dreams are haunting me even when I’m not at home.”

Letting out a yawn, he turns his head just to find you putting a few books away in one of the aisles. A small smile forms on his lips, and he tiredly stands up from the table to walk over to you.

You quietly hum to yourself as you put another book onto the shelf, feeling a bit excited for your shift to be over since you’re hungry. You spare a glance in Hyunjae’s direction, expecting him to still be fast asleep over the table, only to blink in surprise when you don’t see him.

“Where’d he go?” You quietly ask yourself, moving to step out of the aisle and walk over towards the study tables when a hand suddenly grasps your wrist and spins you around.

You suck in a breath of surprise when you end up face to face with an amused looking Hyunjae. He takes a onceover of your features, watching as your initial shock slowly melts into shyness as you suddenly begin to avoid his gaze.

“Were you looking for me?” Hyunjae asks with a grin, and you bite the inside of your cheek. “Maybe.”

He chuckles and lets go of your hand, allowing you to finally breathe properly as you take a step back. Sucking in a few deep breaths, you shake your head and turn back towards the shelves with a shy smile.

“How was your beauty sleep?” You ask as you reach for a book on the cart, to which Hyunjae takes it and places it into your hand. Giving him a grateful smile, you turn back towards the shelf and place it in its spot.

“It was alright.” Hyunjae lies, but he notices the way you glance back at him with disbelieving eyes at his answer. He picks up another book and hands it to you so that you’ll look away from him, “It was.”

“I didn’t say it wasn’t.” You say in a sing-song voice as you place the book onto the shelf. Hyunjae squints at you, “Your eyes speak more words than you vocalize.”

You purse your lips, wondering when the two of you became close enough for him to be able to read you so easily. Shaking your head, you’re about to turn towards the cart again, only to pause when the spine of a book catches your eye.

“Lee Hyunjae.” You murmur, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Full naming me now, hm?”

You chuckle, reaching out and taking the book from the shelf. You briefly flip through the pages, remembering how much you enjoyed this book when you were in high school.

“Do you like books?” You ask, and Hyunjae pokes his tongue into the inside of his cheek at the question. He leans back against the shelf, “Not really, why?”

“I just found my favorite book, and I wanted to ask you to read it.” You explain as you skim through one of the paragraphs, a small smile forming on your face. Hyunjae tilts his head, “What is it?”

Shutting the book in your hands, you turn towards the pretty man and hold the book up towards his face. The cover of the story reflects from the light, and Hyunjae feels his heart stop when he reads the title.

“Pride and Prejudice.” You answer with a soft voice, watching as Hyunjae’s eyes get a faraway look to them as he stares at the old book.

He lifts up the book in his hand, “Read this book.”

“Is it the bible?” They ask, making him roll his eyes.

“Pride and Prejudice.” He answers, and he watches as they turn their head slightly.

The memory of his dream flashes past Hyunjae’s eyes as questions flood his brain. He wonders what kind of a coincidence this could be, how this could possibly happen as he stares at the familiar cover of the classic story.

At his silence, you glance at the book in your hand, before turning back towards him with an embarrassed smile, “You don’t like it?”

Hyunjae blinks out of his daze, eyes meeting yours as you stare at him with concern written over your features. He shakes his head, reaching out and gently taking it from your grasp, “No! I just spaced out, sorry. I’ll definitely read it though.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to read it if you don’t like reading—”

“It’s your favorite book, of course I have to read it.” Hyunjae cuts off, genuineness dripping from the sentence as he looks at you with fond eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, warmth flooding your face as you nod. “Okay, tell me if you like it.”

And Hyunjae stares at you for a moment longer, quietly wondering what his dreams mean as he nods his head with a smile that fails to reach his eyes.

“Of course, yn.”

“Why am I coming to the library?” Juyeon asks as he gets dragged up the steps, to which Kevin just huffs out a breath.

“Cause I need you to see this.”

“I have a class soon, though. Why not show Hyunjae? He’s probably already at the library considering this is the class he skips.” Juyeon points out when they enter the library. Kevin bites his bottom lip, bringing Juyeon over towards the bookshelves so they can hide properly as he mutters under his breath, “Cause he’s what you need to see.”

Juyeon raises an eyebrow, “What?”

Kevin peeks past the bookshelf to make sure they have a good view, before tucking his head away. Turning towards Juyeon, he places both hands on his shoulders, making the latter squint at him in confusion.

“Kevin…”

“Shh.” Kevin says as he maneuvers Juyeon over towards where he was standing, “Just look quietly.”

Juyeon gives him another look, before peeking his head past the bookshelf, only for his eyes to widen in disbelief.

Hyunjae’s seated at a study table, but he’s not sleeping like he always said he does. Instead, he’s talking to the person sitting across from him.

Juyeon watches as Hyunjae smiles softly at whatever the person said, and his mouth drops open in shock when his friend even reaches out and pats their head fondly.

“No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way.” Kevin says.

You look at Hyunjae with nothing but warmth in your eyes when he retracts his hand, and he can’t help but smile at the sight. Shaking your head with a quiet giggle, you glance at your laptop screen to see the grade of your essay staring back at you.

97/100

“Ah, I can’t believe they liked it that much.” You mutter, and Hyunjae scoffs jokingly. Looking up at him, you see the furrow to his brows as he points towards your laptop. “Of course they liked it that much. Don’t underestimate yourself, yn.”

You attempt to fight the smile from forming on your face, but you fail. Turning away, your eyes fall on the bookshelves, only to blink in surprise when you see two heads peeking out.

“Kevin?”

“Oh shit.” Kevin breathes out when you make direct eye contact with him, and you squint at him. Hyunjae sees the change in your demeanor as you look away from him, and he turns towards the direction you’re staring in.

“Lee Juyeon?”

“God damn it.” Juyeon states when Hyunjae sees him, and Kevin turns towards his friend with a frightened expression. “Should we run?”

“Aren’t you on shift?”

“I’m still on break for like, 15 minutes.”

“Word.” Juyeon says, before nodding his head and sprinting to the exit with Kevin. You and Hyunjae watch as the two disappear from sight, and you let out a quiet chuckle when you hear the sound of the doors closing.

“I hate them.” Hyunjae deadpans, making you snort in response. Turning back towards your laptop, you gently close it and pack it into its sleeve. The black haired beauty watches you quietly as you do so, admiring your features with a hint of a smile.

“Do you wanna do something to celebrate?” He asks, and you look up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Celebrate what?”

“Your grade.” Hyunjae responds, and you tilt your head. You had never celebrated getting a high grade or test score before since you’re usually busy, and you didn’t think it’s that big of a deal. However, with the way he’s looking at you with a proud expression, you find your heart swelling with pride.

“Should we?” You ask with a growing smile, and he grins as he nods.

“We should.”

It’s only a few minutes later when you find yourself staring at the death contraption that Hyunjae uses as his vehicle of transportation that you slightly regret saying yes. The pretty man notices the apprehension in your body language, and he chuckles to himself.

“What’s wrong?” Hyunjae asks, turning around so that he’s leaning back against his motorcycle and facing you. You gnaw on the inside of your cheek, before shyly pointing towards the bike, “Are we using this to get to the restaurant?”

Hyunjae spares a glance towards his motorcycle and nods his head, looking back at you with a grin, “Of course.”

Your eyes widen at his answer, and you immediately turn around to start walking back to the library. Hyunjae laughs and steps forward, grasping your wrist softly and spinning you around so that you’re facing him again.

His breath gets caught in his throat when he finds your face inches away from his own, having underestimated how close you were when he spun you. Warmth floods your face almost immediately at the close proximity between you two, unable to breathe as the two of you just stare at each other.

Hyunjae clears his throat after a moment and lets go of your wrist, and you quickly take a step back from him as you awkwardly cough into your elbow. Fighting back the blush that’s flooding his face, he reaches out and grabs his motorcycle helmet, before turning and holding it out to you.

“Do you trust me, yn?” Hyunjae asks, and you slowly nod your head. He smiles softly and wiggles the helmet towards you, “Then trust that I’ll protect you.”

You don’t move to grab it, still feeling unsure of what to do as you stare down at the helmet. He lets out a breath after a moment, before shaking his head and stepping close to you again. Your eyes widen when he reaches up and gently places the helmet on your head for you, a smile escaping him as his fingers graze your chin while he buckles the straps.

“Don’t know how to put on a helmet?” He teases, to which you slap his arm in reply. He smiles before patting the top of your head and turning around towards his motorcycle. You watch as he throws one leg over, and glances at you as he starts the engine.

“You wanna walk to the place with the helmet on?”

You squint at him, “You wouldn’t let me walk alone.”

Hyunjae stares at you for a moment, before nodding his head in agreement. Rolling your eyes, he laughs and pats the back of the seat. “Come on, you told me you trusted me.”

You purse your lips, before letting out a sigh and stepping up to the motorcycle. Resting a hand on his shoulder, you carefully lift your leg up and place it on the other side of the bike. Hyunjae grins proudly and revs his engine, eliciting a squeal from you.

“You might wanna hold on.” Hyunjae tells you, expecting you to argue with him. However, he’s shocked when you almost immediately wrap your arms around his waist, and he bites back a smile as a blush forms on his cheeks.

“Drive safely.” You say in a soft voice as you shut your eyes tightly, and the pretty man chuckles in response.

“Anything for you, yn.”

Hyunjae steps out of the library with a tired sigh, making sure to lock the door behind him before walking down the quiet street.

The small thrum of disappointment lingers in his heart after having not seen them today, and he quietly wonders why they didn’t visit. Looking around, his eyes gaze over the closed shops as he walks.

“You! Stop there!”

His head snaps back when he hears the shout, and his eyes widen when he sees a figure dressed in black run out from around the corner and in his direction. The entire lower half of their face is covered in black silk, acting as a mask to hide their identity.

“Midnight.” He mutters when he realizes just who they are. The bandit that strikes at night, taking money from those who are well off and later giving it to the less fortunate communities. He’s never seen them, having only heard rumors about them, almost as if they were just a myth.

But when he locks eyes with them, he notices their eyes widen in shock, and he tilts his head when he realizes.

Their eyes are familiar.

Before he can open his mouth to say their name, they’re already running past him, but not without grabbing his wrist and yanking him backwards with them.

“Run!” Their voice exclaims, and he doesn’t need to be told twice.

Removing his wrist from their grip, he quickly intertwines his fingers with theirs and ends up pulling the two of them forward.

“Since when could you run fast!? Don’t you just take care of books all day?!?” Their voice rings out in surprise, and he lets out a scoff.

“There’s much more shocking revelations that have occurred tonight!” He responds as he abruptly yanks them into an alleyway that he knows leads to a shortcut to his house.

“Do you workout in your spare time or something?!”

Hyunjae just laughs and glances back at their covered face, “We have a lot to talk about, y-“

Hyunjae gasps awake right before he learns the name of the figure he’s been dreaming about. Letting out a groan, he rolls over in his bed and picks up his phone to check the time. Biting his bottom lip, he puts his phone back down and reaches up and covers his face.

“Who are you?” Hyunjae whispers, feeling haunted by the mysterious figure he’s been dreaming about for months.

Heaving a breath, he slams his hands onto his bed and stares up at the ceiling with a tired expression. The exhaustion weighs heavily over him, but he already knows that he won’t get a dreamless sleep if he attempts to sleep again.

“I guess I’ll make coffee.” Hyunjae murmurs, before rolling off of his bed and leaving his room. He walks past the bright clock that displays the time, but he chooses to ignore it.

He doesn’t want to get reminded that it’s only 3 in the morning.

“So, anything for them, huh?” Kevin asks with a teasing smile, and Hyunjae just shoots him a glare from across the table. He reaches out to bonk his head with the book, only for Jacob to block it from hitting the blonde’s head.

“No bonking.” Jacob states, and Hyunjae lets out a huff. Juyeon walks in from the kitchen holding a bowl of rice, and he raises an eyebrow at his friend’s squinted eyes.

“Are you that upset that you can’t see yn today?” Juyeon teases, making Hyunjae snap towards him.

“Why is everyone teasing me about yn!?”

“Cause you’re in love with them.” Kevin responds, causing Jacob to let out a giggle and Juyeon to grin knowingly. Hyunjae lets out a sigh at their antics, pulling out his phone to see if he’s received any messages, just to put his phone back down when he sees texts from people he could care less about.

“Damn, you got a shit ton of admirers.” Juyeon points out when he sees a glimpse of Hyunjae’s unread messages, and he shrugs his shoulders. “Don’t really care about them.”

Kevin leans close to Jacob and places his hand over his mouth to whisper in his ear. Hyunjae looks up to find the blonde staring directly at him as he whispers quite loudly,

“It’s cause he only cares about yn~”

Hyunjae presses his lips into a thin line, before shaking his head and taking some rice from Juyeon’s bowl. Placing some into his mouth, he mutters, “I hate it here.”

The sound of the door opening gathers the four’s attention, and they all let out a noise of greeting when Sunwoo walks in. The redhead grins and says hi, but a concerned expression takes over his features when he lays eyes on Hyunjae.

Hyunjae blinks, “What?”

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Sunwoo asks as he sits in the seat beside him, and Hyunjae shakes his head with a pitiful smile. “Only got three hours, but that’s the norm.”

They all exchange a glance before turning back towards their very sleep deprived friend, and Juyeon bites the inside of his cheek when he gets a better look at the dark bags under Hyunjae’s eyes. The black haired beauty sinks into his seat at all the eyes on him, and waves his hands towards his friends.

“Guys, please. I’m used to it, don’t worry about it.”

Just when Juyeon’s about to reply, a foot kicks Hyunjae in the shin, causing the latter to let out a shout of pain as he doubles over. Sunwoo’s eyes widen, and Jacob immediately asks if he’s okay, to which Hyunjae just lets out a quiet cry in reply.

“Underestimated how hard I kick.” Kevin murmurs, which Hyunjae overhears and lifts up his head to shoot him a glare. Kevin gives him a sheepish smile, “Sorry about your shin, but—”

“There should be no buts in a good apology—”

“But yn’s studying at the library right now. Alone.” Kevin cuts off, and Hyunjae blinks at him with his mouth wide open. Jacob and Sunwoo exchange a glance before looking at Juyeon, who just has an amused look in his eyes.

After a moment of silence, Hyunjae places his hands on the table and stands up from his chair. He takes a look at his four friends, before giving them a grin and pointing towards the door.

“I-I’ve gotta, ya know, go…”

The four share a look, one that basically says, get a load of this guy, before turning back to him and sending him a wave.

“Have fun!”

“Drive safe.”

“Take them on a date after!”

“Sleep well.”

Hyunjae chuckles at their different responses as he slips on his shoes, shooting them all an excited smile as he waves his hand at them.

“Text you guys later.”

They watch as he leaves the apartment, and Juyeon lets out a breath when the door shuts. Sunwoo turns towards the blonde, nudging him with his elbow to gain his attention.

“You’re really worried about him, huh?�� Sunwoo asks, and Juyeon nods his head. Turning to glance at the door, he purses his lips at the thought of how dark Hyunjae’s eyebags have gotten.

“Ever since he began to go to the library, he’s started sleeping even less at night.”

Hyunjae walks through the entrance of the library, a smile threatening to form across his lips as heads in the direction of the study tables. Poking his head past the bookshelves, he glances around the library, looking for your pretty face.

He pauses when he sees not your face, but the back of your head as you’re slumped over the study table you’re seated at. He raises a hand up and covers his smile, holding back a laugh as he walks over to you quietly.

He pulls out the chair perpendicular to you, and carefully sits down as a means to not make any noise. He grins at your sleeping face, not even acknowledging the dried drool on the corner of your lips. Biting his bottom lip, he scoots in a bit more and places his arm onto the table, before laying his cheek onto it so that he’s facing you.

His eyes trail over your features, and he quietly wonders how a person can be so painstakingly beautiful as he stares at your sleeping face. After a moment, Hyunjae feels himself beginning to grow more tired as he looks at you, and he struggles to keep his eyes open.

“Ah, they fell asleep again.”

Hyunjae opens his eyes when the beginning of the dream flashes behind his eyelids, the exhaustion weighing heavily over him. He fights to keep himself awake as he looks at you, for the sake of not having another dream again.

But he fails.

“Ah, they fell asleep again.” He murmurs as he walks up to the wooden table after putting back the last book on the shelf. Letting out an amused chuckle, he sits in the chair perpendicular to them and rests his cheek onto the surface of the table.

Staring at their sleeping face, he quietly wonders to himself why they’re able to sleep so well on such a hard surface. Pursing his lips at how uncomfortable he is, he adjusts himself so that his cheek is resting on his arm, now feeling a bit more comfortable.

Looking back at their face, his eyes trail over their features. From their eyelashes, to the slope of their nose, and to their lips.

“What a beautiful sight.” He whispers. He blinks in surprise when they suddenly begin to stir in their sleep, and he watches silently as their eyes begin to open.

Hyunjae jumps awake, feeling startled as he stares at your sleeping face. Panic floods his chest when he sees your eyebrows furrow and you begin to stir, but before he can sit up, your eyes slowly blink open.

And his heart stops.

The visual of your eyes boring into his merges with the one from his dream, and suddenly all the memories of his past dreams with the faceless figure slowly become memories of you. He sucks in a breath and abruptly stands up from the chair, staring at you with wide eyes as you rub the back of your neck tiredly while you sit up.

“Hyunjae, what’s wrong?” You ask when you finally take notice of his shellshocked appearance. He doesn’t respond though, just continuing to stare at you while his heart beats against his ears the longer he stays there.

There’s no way, Hyunjae thinks to himself when your eyes grow with worry.

There’s no way that it’s you.

Your eyebrows furrow in concern, and you slowly stand up from your chair, “Hyunjae, are you okay?”

When you attempt to walk over, he quickly steps back and knocks over his chair. The loud thud of the chair rings throughout the quiet library, gathering the attention of other students as they look at what’s going on between you and the bad boy of the university.

You gulp, “Hyunjae?”

He blinks at you, before stepping past the table and sprinting out of the library without another word. Your mouth drops open in shock as you watch him leave, and you flinch when the sound of the door closing rings around the quiet space.

“What happened to make him react like that?” You ask yourself quietly, unable to forget the shock in his eyes as he looked at you. Biting the inside of your cheek, you gently pick up the chair that he knocked over and push it back into its spot. Walking back over to your seat, you sit down and stare at your open laptop.

But you can’t find the motivation to continue what you were working on.

Hyunjun immediately shoots him a glare, nudging him in the stomach with his elbow. “No. I don’t know why you’re so fixated on me and the baker’s daughter.”

“The only thing you’ve taught me is that I should get better friends. Then again, I should’ve expected that the librarian who talks to books would be strange.”

“Hey! You know that books are precious! Take that back!”

“No!”

Hyunjae’s about to put his friend in a chokehold when a shoulder bumps into his own, causing him to take a step back. With a frown taking over his features, he turns his head to glance back at the person who bumped into him. His eyes slowly trail up from the ground and up their body, stopping at their lips when they begin to say:

“I’m sorry—”

“Sir, there’s no trace of Midnight.” His attention is grabbed by the soldiers coming out from the alleyway a few feet away, and he raises an eyebrow at the mention of the night bandit. He turns back towards the person who bumped into his shoulder, and he notices the slight smirk on the corner of their lips as they stare at the ground.

“Are you okay?” He asks them, and their head snaps up towards him, and he feels his breath get taken away when they lock eyes with him.

“I should be asking you that, but yes, I’m alright. Are you okay? I’m sorry for bumping into you, I was in a rush.” They explain, but he can’t seem to get over the sparkles in their eyes as they look at him. A small smile appears on his lips, and he waves a hand at the pretty stranger in front of him.

“Don’t worry about it, but since you bumped into me, can I ask what your name is?” Hyunjun slowly raises a hand up to his mouth in shock at Hyunjae pulling a move, to which the latter elbows him in the stomach as a sign to stop.

He watches as the corner of the stranger’s lips tilt upwards at him and Hyunjun’s antics, and he feels relief flood him when they reply,

“Yn, my name is yn.”

You glance back when you hear the sound of growing footsteps behind you, and you know that the soldiers are heading in your general vicinity to search. Looking back at the handsome man before you, you give him a wave, “I have to hurry home, but it was nice meeting you.”

You quickly step past him, but pause when a warm hand gently wraps around your wrist. Biting the inside of your cheek, you glance back at him, just to see a hopeful look in his eyes as he stares at you.

“Not going to ask for my name?” He asks with a small smile, and you try to fight the warmth that’s threatening to flood your face as your eyes bore into his. Tilting your head, you grin at him, “Alright, what’s your name?”

His smile widens at the sight of your own, and he gently slides his hand down from your wrist to encompass your hand. You blink in surprise, internally thinking of how bold he is, while Hyunjae’s just trying to ignore how hard his heart is beating against his chest as he gives your hand a squeeze.

“Jaehyun, my name is Lee Jaehyun.”

He lets go of your hand after telling you his name, and your arm falls limply to your side. Nodding your head, you raise your hand up and wave at him again, quietly hoping to see him again as you say,

“I’ll see you around, Lee Jaehyun.”

He watches as you turn around and walk down the street until you’re out of sight. As soon as you’re gone, he collapses onto Hyunjun, and his friend laughs loudly at his behavior while repeatedly slapping his shoulder.

“You menace! You can’t just collapse onto me after you elbowed me in the stomach while talking to them!”

Hyunjae grips onto Hyunjun’s arm with a chuckle, “Hope I taught you how to properly flirt with the baker’s daughter for next week.”

“Shut up!”

Hyunjae dusts off the books that were returned, standing behind the counter of the library in case someone walks in. He places the book onto the cart of clean books, before reaching for the next book to clean. As he’s about to grab the rag, the sound of the door chime captures his attention.

“Hello, welcome to Utopia Library…” He trails off when he looks up to find you standing at the entrance, a shy smile on your face as you quietly shut the door behind you. Once the door’s closed, you tentatively raise your hand up and wave at him, “Hi.”

Hyunjae blinks, before raising his hand up and waving back at you, “Hi, yn.”

You glance around the library as you step further inside, having walked by the building so many times but never entering it. Hyunjae watches you with stars in his eyes, and he feels his heart stop when you turn your head to look at him.

“You work here?” You ask as you walk up to the counter, and he nods his head with a small grin while he gently cleans the book in his hand. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

You raise an eyebrow at the answer, “What does that mean?”

Hyunjae just shrugs his shoulders and places the book onto the cart. You watch as he pushes the cart out from behind the counter, and heads towards the bookshelves to start putting the books back in their spot. You squint at him, “Jaehyun, what did you mean by that?”

And Hyunjae grins, turning to you with a teasing look in his eyes that makes you even more curious about what he’s hinting at. He gestures over towards the front counter again, and that’s when you notice a framed family painting on the wall behind it.

You blink, before turning back towards the handsome man in front of you. You stare at him for a moment longer, and he lets out a laugh when your mouth suddenly drops open and you point at him.

“You own this library?!” You exclaim, and he shrugs his shoulders as he places a book back on the shelf. “Kind of, it’s more of my parents’ than me. I just work here on days when they’re too busy.”

You slowly nod your head in understanding, before glancing around the library with genuine curiosity in your gaze. He looks away from the bookshelf for a moment to check on you, and he lets out a grin when he sees you peeking your head into the different aisles.

“You can go look around if you want, just holler if you need me.” Hyunjae says, and you turn to him with a furrow to your brows. “But this is a library.”

Hyunjae tilts his head, “It is.”

“So I’m not allowed to yell in here because it’s a library.” You deadpan, and the pretty man blinks at you. He slowly raises a hand up to his forehead and turns around for a quick second to mutter,

“My god, they’re so cute.”

He turns back to you and gestures around your surroundings, “We’re the only ones here, so there’s no worries of you disturbing anyone who’s reading.”

Your mouth forms an ‘o’ shape, and he chuckles at your reaction. You quickly shake your head as if to snap out of your trance, and give him a thumbs up as you point over to the other aisles.

“I’m going to explore.”

“Have fun~” Hyunjae tells you, and you smile at him with a nod of your head. He watches as you skip off to the next aisle, and he grins. Turning back towards the cart full of books he needs to put away, he lets out a soft laugh.

“Why am I so endeared already?” He asks himself quietly, before beginning to put the books back on their shelves.

Hyunjae jumps slightly when the sound of a book slamming against the counter rings out from behind him, and he turns around to find you staring at him with a furrow to your brows. He blinks at you, having expected you to be asleep at one of the tables like you usually are.

“Yes?” He asks, and you respond by lifting up the book you had previously slammed onto the counter. Once he lays eyes on the cover, he lets out a quiet laugh and shakes his head. “Did you like Pride and Prejudice, yn?”

“I cried.” You state, and he bites back a snort as he places the pen down onto the table. He turns around so that he’s now facing you, and leans onto the counter so that you can explain what you thought of the story. “Well, go on.”

“I didn’t think I’d like it as much as I did, but it was actually quite beautiful.” You begin, and he watches as your eyes begin to sparkle as you retell all of your favorite scenes in the story. There’s a point in your ramble where you lift your hands up to express how frustrated you were at some parts, and Hyunjae giggles.

The two of you have known each other for three months now, with you going to visit the library everyday so that you can see Hyunjae. When you first started coming, you would look around the library and bombard him with questions about the books and his daily life. When you started to become more comfortable, Hyunjae began to notice how tired your eyes have always looked whenever the two of you talk.

What started with you always talking to him throughout your visit, became Hyunjae leading you towards the tables where you can go and take a nap, until eventually you would just make your way there naturally. He had even brought you a small pillow from his apartment that you can use to lay on for your naps.

He gave you Pride & Prejudice last week, and he wondered whether or not you would actually read it. Unbeknownst to him, you started reading it on the first night he had given it to you.

“There was a scene where Mr. Darcy had flexed his hand after helping Elizabeth into a wagon because he was so overwhelmed with his love for her, and I—never mind. I’m rambling too much, sorry.” You say, looking away shyly after you stopped yourself from continuing. Hyunjae tilts his head, reaching out with a pen to gently poke your forehead, making you frown and swat it away.

“What was that for?”

“Don’t feel like you have to apologize for being excited. I love listening to you talk, whether it be about the smallest things.” Hyunjae tells you, and your breath hitches at the genuinity dripping from his voice. Blinking, you raise a hand up and scratch the back of your neck as warmth floods your face, “O-Oh.”

Hyunjae grins, “You can tell me. I’ll always listen.”

Biting your bottom lip, you suck in a deep breath before looking back at him again. Placing your hands onto the counter, you fiddle with your fingers as you continue.

“I just… I thought it would be nice to have someone love me like that. For someone to react like they had just held a star after they simply grazed against my hand, like I’m the most precious thing in the world to them.”

The silence of the library falls over the two of you after you finish explaining your thoughts, and you bite the inside of your cheek as you wait for Hyunjae to speak. Your eyes burn holes into your hands as you wait, not wanting to look up at the pretty man for the fear of what his expression may look like.

After a moment, you slowly glance up at him, only for your heart to stop when you find his eyes boring into yours. You let out a nervous laugh, continuing to fiddle with your hands out of anxiety from what he could possibly say.

“What if someone already did love you like that?” Hyunjae finally asks, his voice shaky as he awaits your answer. You blink, wondering what he could mean as the two of you stare at each other.

“I don’t have anyone in my life who could.” You answer slowly, searching his eyes for any emotion that could tell you what he’s possibly thinking. However, he turns away before you could look any further. He lets out a breath, placing a book into the cart and pushing it out from behind the counter.

“Maybe you should rethink that.” He tells you with a small smile, before heading over towards the bookshelves. Leaving you standing by the front counter, a furrow to your brows as you watch him walk off in confusion. Pursing your lips, you briefly glance down just to find the book on the table, and your eyes widen slightly.

“Jaehyun!” You shout, picking up the book and looking in the direction he walked off in. You blink in surprise when you don’t see him, “Jaehyun?”

“In the back aisle!” His voice rings out, and you let out a breath of relief, before heading in the direction you had heard him call out from. You glance down each aisle until you finally see him putting away the books, and you walk up to him and tap his shoulder.

“Mm?” He replies, not turning to look at you since his attention is solely focused on making sure he’s putting the books in their designated spots.

Pursing your lips, you hold out the book from behind him, making sure it’s now in his line of sight. You watch as he halts his movement and stares at the cover before saying, “You forgot to bring this book to put it away.”

Hyunjae lets your words digest, before the corner of his lips tilts upwards. He gently moves your arm away from his face, and reaches down to grab another book to place it back on the shelf.

“It’s yours. I gave that for you to keep.” Hyunjae says as he pushes the book into its spot. You just stare at the back of his head, letting it sink in, before your eyes widen. Without thinking, you reach out and grab his wrist, making him turn around to face you so that you can look him in the eyes.

“Yn—”

“Don’t you need this book? Doesn’t it have a special place on one of these shelves?” You ask with wide eyes, and Hyunjae can only stare at you as warmth floods his face. When he doesn’t respond, you gently shake his arm, making him snap out of his trance and blink at you.

He quickly takes his wrist out of your grasp and places it behind his back, quietly wondering to himself if you can hear how loudly his heart is beating within his chest. Letting out a shaky laugh, he shakes his head, “We have at least three copies of Pride & Prejudice aside from that one, so that’s why I’m giving it to you as a gift.”

You can only stare at him in disbelief, knowing just how precious and rare it is for someone like you to own a book like this. Swallowing the growing lump in your throat, you muster up a small smile as warmth crawls up your neck, “Thank you, Jaehyun.”

And he smiles and nods at you, “Anything for you, yn.”

With that, you watch as he turns and pushes the cart to the next aisle. Your eyes follow after him, and you watch through the shelves as he picks up the first book on the cart and places it in its spot next to the others.

What you fail to catch is Hyunjae gently rubbing the part of his wrist that you had held, his heart still managing to thump loudly against his chest as he fights back the smile that threatens to take over his features.

Hyunjae yanks you into his apartment and quickly shuts the door, turning the lock on it as you head towards the windows and pull the curtains. The two of you move fast, making sure no one will be able to peek inside as you rush into the bathroom to change out of your outfit.

Hyunjae lets out a breath once he’s sure every window is covered, and he falls back onto the chair as a new wave of exhaustion falls over him. The sound of the door opening catches his attention, and he glances over to see you step out of the bathroom, no longer clad in the dark attire you were wearing previously. He watches as you place your folded clothes on the kitchen table, and he stares at the black silk that you so delicately put on top.

He stares at you in silence as you avoid eye contact, gently tapping your finger on top of the chair as you feel his gaze burn holes into the side of your face. Biting the inside of your cheek, you finally glance over at Hyunjae, and you let out an awkward laugh to try and ease the tension.

“So… you run fast, huh?” You ask, and Hyunjae just raises an eyebrow at you. He gestures towards your folded clothes on the table, before resting his hand on his knee, “And you’re Midnight, huh?”

“Damn it.” You mutter under your breath, unable to change the subject from acknowledging the elephant in the room. He rests his chin on his hand, “You know that you’re the most wanted criminal, right?”

You let out a quiet chuckle, nodding your head as you glance at the pretty man with a smirk, “Of course.”

Hyunjae just stares at you quietly for a moment, wondering how he didn’t piece everything together soon. From the moment the two of you first met, you were hiding from the soldiers but had run into him. During the day, you fall asleep the moment your cheek rests on your arm at the library, and you hardly come to visit him at night as you always claim that you’re busy.

“Are you going to turn me in now that you know?” You ask, breaking the latter away from his thoughts. He notices the hint of fear in your eyes as you await his response, making him wonder what’s going on in your head as you look at him.

The corner of his lips quirks upward, and he glances down at the floor as he lets out a sigh. Your heart leaps into your throat, trying to decipher what his smile means as you try to come to terms with the fact that you’re going to be executed if the pretty librarian you’ve gotten to know over the months turns you in.

“Why would I do that?” Hyunjae asks, making you pause. Your eyes widen and he has to bite back a laugh as you repeatedly point towards your Midnight outfit before pointing back at yourself. Biting the inside of your cheek, you walk up to him and rest your hands on the arm rests of his chair.

“Why wouldn’t you do that? I’m a dangerous bandit who steals from the rich, willing to do whatever it takes to get my prize. There’s a bounty over my head that would not only pay off any debt you have, but have you set for the rest of your life. Anyone else would take the chance, so why not you?” You ask, eyes wide as they search his own. Hyunjae looks back into your eyes, seeing the fear and panic clear as day as your heart beats loudly against your chest.

He chuckles quietly, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion. Letting out a breath, he tilts his head and leans in closer to your face, making your breath hitch from the sudden realization of the close proximity between the two of you.

“You’re a bandit who steals from the rich to donate to the less fortunate. You like to bother the son of the town’s librarian by taking a nap at one of the reading tables. You don’t like to read, but you listen to the librarian go on a tangent about the recent book he read. You always tease the librarian for his job, but you complain whenever he works late hours because you’re worried for him.” Hyunjae says, making you blink in shock. He gives you a small smile, reaching up and gently patting your head like you’re a precious flower, when in reality, you’re the most wanted criminal in the country.

“Why would I turn in someone who’s doing all this for the greater good?” Hyunjae asks, before leaning back into his chair. You finally suck in a deep breath once he’s no longer inches away from your face, and you take a step back and grab the arm of the couch.

Biting your bottom lip, you tentatively ask, “So… you’re not going to turn me in?”

“No.”

“And you’re just going to act the same as usual?”

“Pretty much.”

“So everything will just be normal between us? Aside from the fact that you know my secret?”

Hyunjae nods his head with a quiet chuckle, “Yes, yn. Everything between us is going to be normal.”

You let out a breath of relief, finally allowing yourself to sit down on the couch as the memory of what happened within the past hour all flows past your eyes. Hyunjae watches as you cover your mouth with your hand when a yawn escapes you, and he grins to himself.

“You can sleep in my room.” Hyunjae tells you, and your eyes widen at the offer.

“No! It’s okay! I can probably head back to my own apartment now, I bet there’s no soldiers—” The sound of boots stomping against the pavement outside captures your guys’ attention, and you slowly melt back into the couch when you realize there’s no getting out of this situation.

Hyunjae chuckles and gestures towards the couch that you’re seated on, “I’ll sleep here tonight, you take the bed.”

You immediately stand up and shake your head, “No! This is your apartment so you should sleep in your own bed. I’m the guest—”

“Which is why you should sleep on the bed. It would be rude of me to let the guest sleep on the couch.” Hyunjae interrupts, and you squint your eyes at him. After five months of knowing each other, you’ve come to learn that the librarian is incredibly stubborn, even more stubborn than you are.

And that’s a feat in itself.

So, you regrettably trudge over in the direction his room is. Hyunjae bites back a laugh at how slumped over your shoulders are at the loss in the argument, and he walks over to the closet to grab a blanket for the couch.

“Jaehyun?”

The black haired beauty turns his head when he hears you softly call his name, and he feels his heart stutter within his chest when he sees the shy look on your face as you stare at him by his bedroom door.

“Yeah, yn?”

You give him a small smile, “Thank you.”

Warmth flushes up his face as he looks at you, and he quietly wonders if he’ll always react this way whenever he sees you smile. Biting the inside of his cheek, he nods his head at you, “Sleep well, yn.”

And with that, you turn around and enter his room. When the door shuts behind you, Hyunjae continues to stare for a moment longer, before letting out a sigh and closing the door to the closet. He walks over to the couch and lays down, unfolding the blanket and laying it on top of him as he stares up at the ceiling. Only one thought comes to mind as the exhaustion slowly begins to hit him, and he can only let out a quiet laugh.

You really have no idea how much he loves you.

The sound of the familiar knock pattern on the door makes Hyunjae hurry over from the kitchen and immediately open the door, allowing you to stumble in as he quickly closes it and makes sure it’s locked. Almost like it’s an instinct, he rushes around his apartment and makes sure to close every curtain so that no soldiers can peek inside and see you.

Once he shuts the last curtain, the sound of quiet groans makes him turn his head in your direction. His eyes widen when he sees you tightly clutching onto your thigh, blood dripping onto the floor as you cry out in pain.

“Yn!”

You bite your bottom lip when Hyunjae immediately kneels down beside you, first aid kit by his side as he carefully cuts off the fabric that’s covering your leg.

“I got shot when I was running.” You mutter, letting out a quiet cry when he starts to wipe away the blood surrounding the wound. He carefully looks at your leg and feels a bit of relief when he sees that the bullet went straight through.

“It’ll be okay, the bullet didn’t get lodged in your leg. I might have to give you stitches, but it should be easy.” Hyunjae explains, making you raise an eyebrow even through your pained state. He reaches out towards the first aid kit and pulls out a needle and thread.

“For a librarian, you know far too much on how to care for someone who got shot.” You state, and he just shrugs his shoulders at you while cleaning the gunshot wound. “Read a lot of books about war and medicine.”

“Thought you liked books like Pride & Prejudice.” You say, and he rolls his eyes at you. He holds up the needle and hands you a pillow that he grabbed from the couch. You tentatively take it from him, and he gives you a sad smile.

“This is going to hurt really bad, so if you want to scream, do it into that pillow.” Hyunjae tells you, and you bite your bottom lip at how serious he is. Nodding your head, you raise the pillow up to your face so that you won’t have to look at what’s about to happen.

“Just tell me when you need a break.”

The next hour is filled with you screaming into the pillow while Hyunjae mutters numerous apologies the whole time he stitches up your thigh.

“I wish I never got shot.” You state after Hyunjae’s finished stitching up your leg. The two of you are laying on the floor of his apartment, staring up at the ceiling as an ice pack rests on your thigh. He glances over at you, “Who’d you steal from this time?”

After Hyunjae found out your identity, he made you promise to come hide out in his apartment whenever you find yourself in that type of situation again. Little did he know how often this would occur. It happens so much to the point that the two of you ended up creating a knock code so that he would know it’s you in front of his apartment.

You chuckle, “The big tuna company. I heard that they have a large safe in their office, and it ended up being true. I left about half of the money I found there..”

“Do you have it with you?” Hyunjae asks, suddenly realizing that you came here in a hurry after getting shot. You nod your head and gesture over to the bag of money laying by the door, and the librarian blinks at the sight of it. “I’ll drop it off in the morning.”

Hyunjae turns his head back so that he’s staring up at the ceiling, feeling the worries pile over his shoulders after the events of tonight collapse onto him. Biting the inside of his cheek, he glances at you, seeing you blinking tiredly up at the ceiling.

Clenching his fist at his side, he musters up all the courage he has to blurt out, “Why don’t you stop being Midnight now?”

You pause at the question, quietly wondering what led him to asking such a ridiculous question. Pursing your lips, you turn your head to see him looking away from you. You sigh and look back at the ceiling, “Why should I stop?”

“Because it’s dangerous.”

“The families in the villages not being able to afford anything to eat is much more dangerous than me stealing a few measly coins from those who are rich.” You drawl, and Hyunjae sits up to look down at your unbothered expression.

“Yn, you’re the most wanted criminal in the country. Everytime you steal, the soldiers are closer to capturing you, and one day I won’t hear your knock on my door.” Hyunjae says, concern laced in his voice as he stares at you.

You shut your eyes and let out a breath, “Jaehyun—”

“Yn, you’re not listening to me. When they get their hands on you, they’ll kill you—”

“I’m not afraid of dying if that means these people can eat, Jaehyun!” You exclaim, now sitting up and looking back at the librarian before you. You falter slightly when you see how watery his eyes are as he stares at you, and you suck in a shaky breath when you realize how worried he is.

Glancing down at your lap, you continue, “I can’t just keep living normally while knowing how unfair the system is. The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer. Why should I live comfortably while there’s people who can’t even buy a grain of rice to eat?”

Hyunjae can only stare at you as tears flood your eyes the more you explain. He knows that you’re right, that it’s not fair. He’s seen the children who beg on the streets, and he’s always given them extra food and change he may have, but that’s it. He’s always admired Midnight, having never heard of a bandit who only steals from the rich and doesn’t even keep the wealth.

But he can’t imagine losing you.

“I don’t want you to die, yn.” Hyunjae mutters, now feeling more lost than he did before. You let out a quiet laugh at his words, and he slowly looks up at you, watching as a tear falls past your eye and trails down your cheek. Giving him a small smile, you reach out and take hold of his hand, encasing it in your warm hands as you stare into his eyes.

“I’m not afraid of death, but I promise that I won’t die.” You say, feeling the weight of your promise in your chest. Hyunjae doesn’t respond, instead lifting up his hand and tenderly wiping away the tear that’s escaped your eye.

The corner of his lips quirks upwards when you lean into his touch, and he whispers,

“That’s a promise you can never break, yn.”

Hyunjae walks to the library, the setting sun painting the sky in different shades of orange and pink. You had left early in the morning to give the village the money you had taken, telling him you’ll be back in the evening.

“I won’t be back until tonight. Will you be here?” You ask as you throw your bag over your shoulder, stumbling back a bit due to your injured leg. Hyunjae’s eyebrows furrow a bit in concern, knowing that you shouldn’t even be walking yet because of your stitches.

“Are you sure you need to do this today? Your stitches—”

“I’ll be fine, I swear.” You cut off, and he just presses his lips together into a thin line. Giving him a small smile, you reach out and nudge his shoulder, “I’ll come visit you tonight so that you know I’m okay, just tell me whether you’ll be here or at the library.”

Hyunjae just sighs, and points in the direction of the library, “I’m closing tonight.”

“Then I’ll meet you there.” You say, and he musters a smile even through the deep pit in his stomach.

“I’ll see you tonight, yn.”

He reaches for the keys in his pocket when he turns the corner, only to pause when he sees a couple of soldiers waiting by the entrance of the library. His breath hitches and he immediately hides behind the wall, sneaking a glance over to see what they’re doing.

“Are you sure the Lee family is involved? They just own the library here.”

“There was a trail of blood that led to Lee Jaehyun’s apartment last night, and Commander Park managed to shoot Midnight in the leg before they got away.”

A hand suddenly clamps onto his shoulder in the middle of him listening in, and he turns his head to find a soldier standing behind him, staring at him with a small smirk to his lips.

“Come with me, Lee Jaehyun.”

Hyunjae sits on the floor of the library, surrounded by three soldiers who have been ordered to watch him after the two hour long interrogation. There’s dried blood on the corner of his lips, and his stomach is bruised from the multiple times the soldiers began to beat him for not answering their questions.

He rests his head back against the bookshelves and looks out the window, seeing that the moon has already risen into the sky. He quietly prays to himself that you won’t come, that you were held back by the villagers to stay for one night.

“Let them live a long life.” Hyunjae whispers under his breath. His eyes slowly begin to shut as the exhaustion begins to take over, but he’s suddenly whacked in the head with so much force, all he can focus on is the pain in his head as he lays on the floor.

“Don’t fall asleep, Lee. You don’t deserve that luxury when you aided the country’s most wanted criminal.” The soldier hisses, and Hyunjae just sucks in a shaky breath as he blinks his eyes.

“You…” He begins to croak out, catching the soldiers by surprise. He slowly turns to look at them, and he feels warmth begin to dribble down his head as he shoots them a glare. “You’re slaves to the government. Living a life so blindly that you’re willing to close your eyes and arrest whoever they tell you to without a second thought.”

“Midnight is a thief.”

“Midnight is a thief that gives back to the poor.” Hyunjae snaps, trying to blink away the blurriness to his eyesight so he can continue to glare at them. The soldier who whacked him earlier clenches the gun in his hand, before taking a step forward, “You’ve made a big mistake opening that mouth of yours—”

Hyunjae flinches back when they raise the butt of the gun in the air, knowing he’s about to black out on impact.

But it never comes.

He slowly opens his eyes and looks up, just to see a figure dressed in black holding the soldier’s wrist in mid-air, having stopped him from punching Hyunjae in the face. The soldiers’ eyes widen, “Midnight.”

You smile behind the silk mask, “Yes, that’s me.”

Hyunjae watches as you suddenly deliver a hard kick to the soldier’s stomach, sending them flying backwards into the bookshelf. You unarm the two other soldiers with ease, removing all the bullets from their guns and promptly fighting them like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

How are they able to beat three soldiers up when they just got shot in the leg last night? He wonders to himself.

Hyunjae rolls onto his back and stares up at the ceiling, blinking tiredly as he listens to the shouts of pain occurring around him. Nausea and exhaustion flood him, and he feels more confused due to the hard blow that was dealt to his head.

“Jaehyun!”

He blinks at the voice, and squints when a figure appears over his face. He stares at them, unsure of who they are as the light shines behind their face.

“Lee Jaehyun! Get up!” Hyunjae’s eyes widen when your pretty eyes become visible, watching as you shout at him. He blinks at you, “Yn.”

Your eyes are watery as you look at his dazed expression and the blood dripping down from his head, and you bite your bottom lip at the fact that this is your fault.

“Jaehyun, you have to work with me here. I have to lift you up and get you out of here before they wake up, okay?” You explain, and he slowly nods his head. You reach behind and support his neck with your hand, carefully lifting him up from the floor and bringing him towards the exit of the library.

“You shouldn’t have come…” Hyunjae mutters as the two of you leave the library. You shake your head, bringing him into the alley to hide from the light posts as you think of different places you both could run to.

“You dummy, why wouldn’t I have come?” You ask, tears falling past your eyes as the two of you walk. Hyunjae just lets out a tired chuckle, and you give him a look of disbelief, “How are you laughing in a situation like this?!”

“I had it under control.” Hyunjae breathes out as the two of you walk towards the tunnel, and you can’t help but snort at his words. He grins at your reaction while trying his best to not lay all of his weight on you, and you shake your head.

“Jaehyun, I’m so sorry.” You tell him, and he waves his hand at you. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

“This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have ever told you I was Midnight—”

“Yn, let’s talk about this when I’m not bloody and being half dragged by you because I’m pretty sure I have a concussion.” Hyunjae mutters, and you bite your bottom lip, but relent and nod your head. The two of you enter the tunnel, and he grimaces in pain when his head pounds. He glances down towards the ground, only to squint when he sees the blood coming through your black pants.

“Yn, your stitches—”

“It’s fine. You’re more injured than I am.” You say through your gritted teeth, ignoring the pain in your leg as you adjust your grip around Hyunjae. “But yn—”

“Well, well, well. Who knew Midnight’s lover was the town’s librarian?” Your blood runs cold at the all too familiar voice heard from behind you, and Hyunjae glances at you with fear in his eyes. Biting your bottom lip, you mutter, “Jaehyun, start slowly inching towards the exit of the tunnel. I got this.”

His eyes widen with panic, “Yn—”

You quickly shush him, before letting go of him and turning around to face the soldier, seeing the gun held up towards you and Hyunjae. You step in front of the pretty librarian, before letting out a smile, “Commander Park! So lovely to see you again.”

His lips quirk upwards into a smirk, “How’s your leg holding up?”

You shrug your shoulders, ignoring the throbbing pain in your thigh as you try to appear nonchalant. “Just fine. Not like it was the first time I got shot.”

Silence falls over the tunnel, and you feel your heart race as you try to think of a way to get Hyunjae out of this. There’s only three of you, and it would be two against one. Except for the fact that Hyunjae most likely has a concussion and can barely walk, while you have ripped open stitches from the bullet hole in your thigh.

“You ready to die, Midnight?” Commander Park asks you, and you give him a grin.

“I don’t know. Are you ready to get beat by the bandit you haven’t been able to capture for the last two years?”

You watch as the soldier’s eyes turn into slits at your words, and he puts his gun back into its holster on his hip. He tilts his head at you, before suddenly rushing forward with newfound rage.

Hyunjae can only watch in horror as the two of you begin to fight, with the soldier pulling out every punch and kick, and you dodging each and every one of them with ease. You pull your hand back and uppercut Commander Park, grinning when he lets out a howl of pain as he clutches his nose. Your satisfaction is short-lived, however, when the soldier takes the opportunity to kick you in the stomach, sending you flying backwards and landing on your back.

The wind is knocked out of your lungs on impact, and you desperately try to suck in a breath as you stare up at the dark tunnel. You’re finally able to breathe in when an excruciating pain takes over the slight relief you felt, and you let out an ear piercing scream. Glancing down, you see Commander Park slamming the heel of his boot into your gunshot wound, and you grit your teeth to try and hold back your cries of pain.

“You’re going to jail, where you’ll be tried and hung for your crimes.” He tells you with a shit-eating grin, and you let out a scream when he digs his heel in deeper. He bends down and rips the silk mask from your face, revealing your true identity. He lets out a scoff at the sight, throwing the mask to the ground as he eventually gets off of you, stomping on your mask as he walks away. Tears fall past your eyes as you try to hold your leg, and you shut your eyes tightly at how much it hurts.

“Jaehyun will accompany you. And since he aided in your hiding, he will be tried and hanged as well.” Commander Park explains after sparing a glance at Hyunjae, and he squints when he notices the librarian has drawn closer to the two of you. Your eyes snap open at his words, and with as much strength as you can muster, you sit up and crawl closer to the soldier. Biting your bottom lip, you fight the pain as you stand up from the ground, and look into Commander Park’s eyes.

“P-Please. Not him, I forced him. I threatened him to hide me in his apartment, it was all me.” You beg, and he raises an eyebrow at the sudden shift in your demeanor. You look up to see him staring at you with curiosity and satisfaction in his gaze, and you gulp as you clutch your thigh in pain.

“Please. You can take me, but not him. He has nothing to do with this.” You beg the soldier, falling to your knees without a second thought as you plead. Commander Park stares down at you, and you watch as the corner of his lips quirks upwards in amusement.

“Oh, Midnight.” He says in a sweet tone, and your eyebrows furrow in confusion, only for your blood to run cold when you see his hand wrap around the gun in his pocket.

“How bold of you to think that I would have mercy on a thief.”

Time seems to come to a slow when Commander Park takes the gun out of his pocket, and aims behind your head. You can’t seem to move any faster to grab the gun from him, let alone stand up so that it’s pointed at you instead.

The sound of the gunshot rings in your ears when you’re finally able to take the gun from his grasp and point it towards the soldier, shooting him without a second thought as the ringing in your ears grows louder.

You breathe heavily as you stay in that position, gun still pointed towards the dying Commander as you stare at him with wide eyes. Your heart hammers against your chest as the weight of your actions slowly begins to settle.

“Yn…” You suck in a breath and turn around, only for your heart to drop when you see Hyunjae laying on the ground, hand over his stomach as the blood begins to pour out. The gun falls from your hands and onto the pavement, and you quickly crawl over to Hyunjae, ignoring the excruciating pain in your leg as you grasp at his arms.

“L-Let me see.” You stutter, and he shakes his head at you. Your hands begin to shake when you see the blood trickling through his shirt, “Jaehyun, let me see.”

He blinks tiredly at you, before removing his hands from his stomach. You let out a quiet gasp when you unbutton his shirt, seeing so much blood that you can’t even tell whether or not the bullet went through cleanly.

“I-I’ll lift you up and take you to the hospital, all you have to do is keep pressing on it, okay? I can carry you.” You explain as you grab his hands and press them into the bullet wound. Hyunjae just stares at you as you panic, watching as more tears form in your eyes as you tell him your plan.

“A-And when you start to get better, we’ll leave. We can escape to a new town so that no one will know who we are. I-I’ll stop being Midnight and we can find work to help pay for our food and housing, I promise.” You sob, and Hyunjae can only look at you with tears flooding his eyes. Biting your bottom lip, you reach out so that your hands are under his arms, “I’ll help you up now, okay? You can lay all your weight on me, it’s fine.”

“Yn.”

“No, really. I’m strong, and you know it too. This will be a piece of cake!”

“Yn.”

“Jaehyun, didn’t you see me beat all of those soldiers? I can carry you—”

“Yn!” Hyunjae shouts, promptly putting a stop to the hope you were clinging onto so desperately. Your bottom lip quivers as you look at the beautiful man before you, and you shake your head at him. “Jaehyun, it was all my fault. This is all my fault. I should’ve never gone to your apartment—no. I should’ve never bumped into you in the middle of the street—”

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed in this lifetime.” Hyunjae murmurs tiredly, the smallest smile on his face as he looks at you. Your heart stutters in your chest at his words, and you feel panic seize your heart when you realize how pale he’s become. Shaking your head, you frantically try to wrap your arms around him to help him get up, only to let out a cry when your injured leg buckles and you fall to the ground.

“Lee Jaehyun, get up!” You scream, but he just continues to stare at you with nothing but love in his eyes. You let out a sob as you try to help him get up again, just to fall to your knees a second time. He shakes his head, and reaches out and tiredly cups your face with his hand.

He gives you a smile, “I have something I’ve been meaning to tell you, yn.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, wondering how he can still manage to smile at you like this. Blinking away the tears that are blurring your vision, you say, “What is it?”

Hyunjae strokes your cheek with his thumb, and he feels warmth flood his heart when you lean into his touch. He watches as a tear falls past your eye, and he quietly confesses,

“I love you.”

And you let out a cry, one that’s filled with so much regret as you look down at his bloodied stomach. You reach up with a shaky hand and rest it over his, glancing back up into his eyes as you tell him,

“I love you too, Lee Jaehyun.”

The smile that takes over Hyunjae’s features is so heartbreakingly beautiful after the three words leave your mouth. He quietly wonders what would have happened if he had been honest about his feelings from the start, would the two of you just be talking about sweet nothings in the library like usual? Would you be safe? Happy?

He strokes your cheek one last time as all the memories he’s made over his lifetime begin to flash past his eyes, but he tries to focus on you kneeling right before him. You’re crying. You’re crying so hard that you’re gasping for breath as you speak to him, but he can’t seem to hear a word that you’re saying no matter how hard he tries to listen.

The memories slowly begin to morph into all the memories he made with you, and he smiles to himself at the visual of your laugh, your sleeping face on the table at the library, and your beautiful smile. He lets out a breath when one memory flashes past his eyes,

The corner of his lips quirks upwards when you lean into his touch, and he whispers,

“That’s a promise you can never break, yn.”

Hyunjae smiles at the memory, and with his last breath, he mutters, “You didn’t break your promise.”

Hyunjae gasps awake, sweat dripping from his body as tears fall past his eyes at a frantic rate. He looks at his surroundings, seeing the posters and photos adorning the walls of his apartment’s room, no longer the dark and cold tunnel he was just in. He slowly sits up from the bed and glances at the time, seeing that it’s 11:35 in the morning.

He fell asleep at midnight yesterday.

This is the first full night of sleep he’s gotten in months.

He raises his hands up and grasps at his hair, tears continuing to fall as the sobs begin to wrack his body. His shoulders shake with each sob he lets out, eventually raising his hands up to cover his face as a means to muffle the sound of his cries.

He just saw his whole past life flash before his eyes, and he wonders how this could’ve possibly happened. He was never one to believe in things like reincarnation, let alone fate.

But how come he met you again?

He sucks in a breath, looking out the window as the sunlight peeks in through the blinds. The sound of his quiet sobs fill the room, and he blinks when he hears the sound of his phone go off.

Turning his head, he reaches out and picks up his phone from the table. Unlocking his phone, his heart jumps in his chest when he sees the preview of the text, and he quickly taps on the message.

yn: hyunjae, it’s yn. i got your number from kevin

i hope you’re doing okay. i’m sorry if i did anything wrong.

i hope that you’re getting plenty of rest in your comfy bed! it’s a lot better than the hard study table at the library.

i…

nevermind hehe

just… sleep well, okay?

i’ll be at the library from 2-10 today if you do plan to stop by ^^

Slamming his phone down on the bed, he practically jumps off of it and sprints to the bathroom to start getting ready.

Fate, soulmates, whatever it may be—Hyunjae’s only sure of one thing.

He’s not going to lose you again.

You push the cart through the aisles with a heavy heart, having felt awful since Hyunjae left the library two days ago. You’re still unsure as to what made him react like he saw a ghost when he saw you, let alone what made him run away from you.

You just hope he’s doing okay.

Letting out a sigh, you push the cart towards the study tables, and you feel a twinge of pain when you don’t see him at a table. Biting your bottom lip, you shake your head and move to the next aisle, taking out a book from the cart and placing it onto the shelf.

It’s when you’re about to grab another book that a hand suddenly wraps around your wrist, and your eyes widen in shock when you’re spun around. You open your mouth to protest when you’re pulled into the stranger’s embrace, but stop when he breathes out your name.

You lean back, just to find Hyunjae staring at you with pure relief in his eyes as he holds you in his arms. Heat rises up your neck as you look at him, and without another word, you take a step forward and reciprocate his embrace. He holds you tightly within his arms, his breathing turning a bit shaky the longer he holds you.

“Hyunjae, I won’t ask you what happened, but are you okay?” You ask, voice muffled by his shoulder. He simply nods his head, refusing to let you go for the fear that you’ll disappear.

“Yn.”

You turn your head slightly, “Yeah?”

Hyunjae sucks in a breath, and without a second thought he says, “I love you.”

You freeze in his embrace. Warmth floods your face as his words sink in, and you gently peel yourself away from him so that you can look into his eyes. Your arms remain wrapped around his waist as you search his eyes, trying to see if this is just a prank he’s pulling.

You blink, “What?”

Hyunjae just gives you a small smile, “I love you, yn.”

He watches as the corners of your lips slowly begins to quirk upwards into a shy smile, and you glance down at your feet to try and hide the dumb look on your face. Hyunjae can only stare at you with a hopeful expression on his face, and you bite the inside of your cheek, before looking back up into his eyes.

You smile brightly, “I love you too, Hyunjae.”

Tears flood the black haired beauty’s eyes at your confession, his heart beating loudly against his chest as he feels nothing but happiness and pure relief in this moment. Your eyebrows furrow in concern when a tear escapes past his left eye, and you reach out and cup his cheek with your hand, stroking away the tear with your thumb.

“Why are you crying? Are you that happy to be dating the university’s librarian?” You coo with a teasing smile, and Hyunjae can only chuckle softly. He nods his head, leaning into your touch as he tells you honestly, “I’m just so happy to have met you.”

You feel warmth flood your chest at his sweet words, and you let out a breath. Looking away, you glance over to the study tables to see a vacant seat. Biting back a grin, you turn back towards Hyunjae and point over to it.

“You wanna take a nap until my shift is over?” You ask, and he scoffs, eliciting a quiet laugh from you as he rolls his eyes.

“What if I told you that I got someone to cover your shift for today?” Hyunjae asks, tightening his hold around you with a cheeky grin. You raise an eyebrow, “Why would you do that?”

“So I can take my beautiful partner out on our first date.” He answers with ease, and he bites back a laugh at how big your eyes become at the newfound label. Blinking your eyes, you cough into your shoulder and promptly begin to look at everything but your boyfriend as you ask, “And who would be covering my shift?”

“I would!”

You jump at the sudden intrusion, turning your head to find Kevin standing by the cart, a bright smile on his face as he looks between you and Hyunjae. You let out a quiet gasp when you realize that you and Hyunjae are still hugging, and you quickly let go of him and take a step back. His arms fall to his sides, and he laughs with the blonde at how shy you are.

“You called him here?” You ask as you point at your friend, and Hyunjae nods his head.

You turn to Kevin, “And you would just gladly take my shift?”

“Anything for the power of love, yn.”

You blink at him, unable to find words when a warm hand gently wraps around yours. You glance back to see Hyunjae smiling at you, and he gestures towards the exit with his head.

“Let’s go, yn.”

Biting your bottom lip, a smile takes over your features as you nod your head. Without another word, Hyunjae sends a wave towards Kevin, before pulling you forward and running out of the library.

You let out a laugh once the two of you break through the doors, and with newfound courage, you pull Hyunjae forward and run towards the parking lot.

You feel him remove his hand from your grasp, and before you can look down, he’s quickly intertwined his fingers with yours. You squeal as he pulls you forward, and he glances back at you for a brief moment.

Your eyes sparkle brightly as you look at him, and your skin is glowing underneath the warm Spring sun. You let out a laugh, one that’s so full of happiness and life that it brings an ache to his heart when he turns back.

He smiles, “Yn!”

“What!?”

“You ready to ride the motorcycle again?” Hyunjae asks with a grin, and he glances back to see your features have dimmed slightly at the mention of the vehicle. He lets out a loud laugh, one that makes your eyes brighten again as he pulls you forward.

“Where would we go?!” You ask, and his eyes get a distant look to them as he’s reminded of a brief memory.

“No matter where you are, or where you go, I’ll be by your side to protect you.”

Hyunjae can only giggle, feeling nothing but content as you both lay underneath the warm sun. He tilts his head up and looks at you, seeing you squinting at him for his reaction while patting his head.

“What are you going on about?” Hyunjae teases, and you scoff. You retract your hand from his hair as a sign of protest, but he quickly reaches up and takes hold of it, causing you to halt your movements.

“Even though I don’t know what could be so dangerous, why don’t we protect each other?” He suggests in a soft voice, making you glance down at the pretty librarian again. He watches as you blink at him, not knowing that you’re struggling to respond due to the fact that you’re so focused on his hand holding yours.

“What?” You manage to choke out, and he grins at you. He lowers your hand back down to his head, before letting his arms fall back to his sides. “I’ll protect you, and you’ll protect me.”

You roll your eyes, “How can a librarian protect me?”

“You know, I’m stronger than you think I am.” Hyunjae tells you, and you smile softly as you look away. You gently begin to pat his head again, looking around at the long grass as you allow this rare moment of pure peace to become ingrained in your memory.

“What if I was arrested,” You begin, and the pretty man looks up at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Why would you be arrested? All you do is sleep at my library.” Hyunjae jokes, and you remove your hand from his hair to swiftly flick his forehead, eliciting a squeak of pain from the latter. Letting out a shaky breath, you continue, “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, what if I was arrested? Would you bail me out?”

Hyunjae nods his head almost immediately, “Of course.”

You blink, “Really?”

He nods like it’s the easiest answer in the world, “For you? I would do anything, yn.”

Hyunjae lets out a breath once the two of you make it to his motorcycle, the memory still fresh in his brain as he reaches out and picks up his helmet.

“You still haven’t answered my question of where we’re going.” You pout, and the pretty boy just lets out a small smile as he gently places his helmet over your head. Buckling the straps together underneath your chin, he looks into your eyes as he says, “If you keep pouting so cutely like that I might have to kiss you.”

Your eyes widen at how bold he is, and you quickly lift a hand to cover your mouth while the other hand reaches out and slaps his shoulder. He lets out a laugh at your reaction, waving at you to signal that he’s just teasing as he throws a leg over the motorcycle.

He turns to you once he’s settled and extends his hand, to which you shyly take it. He helps you onto the bike, and you wrap your arms around his waist as you rest your chin on his shoulder. “Will you tell me where we’re going now?”

Hyunjae chuckles and nods his head as he revs the engine of the motorcycle. He looks up towards the sky, and he can’t help but feel warmth flood his chest at the fact the two of you were given a second chance.

He smiles softly at the memory of the grass field as he quietly answers,

“To a place I used to know.”

879 notes · View notes

blue-jisungs · 19 days ago

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⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ SOFT MORNINGS W HYUNJAE 🧸ྀི — ( wc 251 )

ੈ✩‧₊˚ note ! tis one is for soph @loserlvrss <3 love u !! slowly digging out of my writing slump >_<

@kstrucknet ˙ . ꒷ 🧺 . 𖦹˙— @deoboyznet

the golden sunlight gently shone through the window, covering you and your sleeping boyfriend in a warm embrace.

you slurred awake, nuzzling closer into jaehyun’s side. soft snores escaped his parted lips, brown locks covering his forehead lazily.

you loved moments like these: peace and quiet, the comfort of your own home. blankets and pillows surrounding you like a heavenly cloud, jaehyun’s scent filling your nose.

with a small sigh, you couldn’t help but stare at him. long lashes almost casting a shadow, his bare honey colored skin looking softer than ever.

before you could realize, your finger reached out to trace the bridge of his nose. it was just too perfect. you slowly, feather lightly traced down the small mole. stopping at the tip eventually, you hesitated. you didn’t want to wake him up but the need to feel him underneath your fingertips was stronger.

his breath tickled your fingers as you slid down, your finger travelling to his cupid bow. then, gently lining through his upper lip–

“morning to you too” jaehyun’s deep morning voice startled you a little, movements halting.”that tickles”

“sorry” you mumbled, taking your hand away.

but he stopped you, grabbing your wrist tenderly.

“but when you traced my nose like that… do that again, please?” he asked, eyes shining. you smiled and nodded, moving your hand to do that again.

you noticed it worked like a charm, lulling him back to sleep.

soft snores once again filled the room, your heart overflowing with love.

masterlist<3

taglist. @bbangbies ,, @slytherinshua ,, @jvkeslvr ,, @loserlvrss

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daisyvisions · 7 months ago

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Unspoken Words (Pt. 3)

➺ Pairing: best friend!Sangyeon x afab!reader x enemy!Hyunjae

➺ Summary: If someone were to tell you that you'd be in a fake relationship with the person you despise the most just to make your best friend jealous, you would've laughed in their face. But here you are... caught up in this exact situation.

➺ Word Count: 7.4K

➺ Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI) very angsty but with a happy ending, jealousy, confessions, some arguments, mentions of being drunk, heated makeouts, groping, unprotected sex, creampie, oral (f! receiving), slight masturbation, marking, neck biting, slight dry humping, pet names (sweetheart) lots and lots of sexual tension y'all (pls let me know if I missed anything!)

➺ A/N: Okay hear me out... it wasn't supposed to take this long for me to write this I swear 😭 but life got in the way huhu but anyways WOW 7.4K words? this is the longest fic I've ever written! This is the last part of this series and while I'm sad it has to come to an end, I'm just very proud of this series as a whole! Proofread once, I hope you enjoy this last part!

➺ Part 1 | Part 2

➺ Network and tags: @deoboyznet @winterchimez @snowflakewhispers @aimeecarreros and the anon that reminded me to write for it bless you I hope you see this!

As your body sways to the rhythm of the music blasting through the speakers, you can't help but become immersed in the kaleidoscope of colors moving around you. You finally feel relaxed enough after a couple of drinks and slowly let everything around you move through you like an ocean wave.

It's been a while since you've been this loose, especially with all the college requirements piling on you like bricks. You needed this, especially since it was your birthday. You deserved to have a break and not think of any responsibilities for a moment and have fun with the person you adore the most… your best friend. Speaking of best friend, where the hell is he right now?

Your mind pulls you away from your reverie as your eyes frantically search for the man who was with you all night. The man who had your whole birthday planned out and dragged you to this place. And just like a moth to a flame, you spot him easily across the room sitting by the bar as he watches you with his warm eyes, the growing smile on his face as soon as his eyes finally meet yours.

Without hesitation, you make your way towards him, weaving through the sea of bodies. You stop right in front of where he sits, your body wedged between his legs as you place your hands on his shoulders for stability. His eyes grow wide as you slowly lean closer to him, wondering what you might do next.

"C'mon Sangyeon, dance with me!" Your mouth is dangerously close to his ear as you try your best to speak above the reverberating music around you.

"I think I'll pass. I'm good right here," he responds as his hand holds your waist to stop you from swaying.

"You can't say no, it's my birthday, remember?" you remind him, your tone playful yet insistent.

Sangyeon hesitates for a moment, his gaze flickering between you and the crowded dance floor. You can see the internal struggle playing out on his face. He lets out a heavy sigh, remembering that he was the one who set that rule for the evening to begin with. It was the condition he had suggested in order for you to say yes to going out tonight.

"Okay… let's dance," he sighs, quickly chugging down the rest of his drink before allowing you to lead him onto the dance floor.

As soon as you step foot on the dance floor, Sangyeon grabs your wrist and makes you twirl for him. You laugh at the silly gesture but continue to dance with him and let the music move through both of you.

He laughs at how loose-limbed your movements have become but still tries to match your energy nonetheless despite not being much of a dancer. Sangyeon can't help but smile as butterflies soar throughout his body.

He can't believe how lucky he is to have you in his life, wishing for moments like this to never end.

Later on in the night as you both walk back to your apartment, Sangyeon wraps his arm around you, trying to keep your balance as you yap about anything and everything. For some, this would be considered bothersome, having to be the caretaker of their tipsy friend. But to Sangyeon, it doesn't matter as long as it was you.

Aside from getting you home safe, all he can focus on is the beautiful sound of your voice and the way you hold onto him closely. The smell of your perfume was far more intoxicating than the drinks you downed tonight.

When you both finally make it to your front door, you suddenly spin around to hug Sangyeon tightly. "This was the best birthday ever, thank you so much Sangyeon," you mumble against his shoulder.

"Anything for my girl," he smiles, returning the same hug you're giving him.

His cheek presses against your head, taking all the strength he could muster to not kiss your temple. You both hug each other for a little while longer, not wanting this moment to end. As soon as you reluctantly pull away from one another, Sangyeon chuckles at the tousled appearance of your hair.

"Here, let me just—" Sangyeon's hand reaches for the loose strand of hair and gently tucks it behind your ear. You impulsively press your cheek onto his palm, letting the heat of his skin cradle you as you sigh dreamily.

You look up at him with these sultry eyes, and Sangyeon can't help but feel a shiver run down his spine. This kind of thing has never happened between the two of you. He tries his best to ignore the sudden warmth blooming at the back of his neck but fails as soon as his eyes gravitate towards your lips almost touching his palm.

"Sangyeon?"

Beep, beep, beep! The sound of your alarm rings as you wake up from your dream. You find yourself smiling as you open your eyes, but reality hits you like a lightning strike as you soon realize who was the male lead of your dream.

You aren't upset because the dream ended so abruptly, but rather the scenario reminds you of a time when you and Sangyeon were happy. When you two were still friends and not in the shit show you're currently in where he makes you feel like a total stranger.

Before you start wallowing in your own sadness, you rub your eyes and immediately get up from your bed, stretch, and check your phone. Today, you're assigned to check the inventory and the progress of everything the team needs for the play next week. While that sounds easy to do, it also means you have to quality check and sort out all the props, costumes, and other items before the tech rehearsal.

Today is definitely going to be a long one, but at least it will give you enough distraction from overanalyzing that dream, right?

You slowly exhale a sigh of frustration as you continue untangling the mess of rope on your lap. Not only have you been trying to straighten them out for the past hour or so, but you also start to feel a numbing pain in your tailbone as you sit cross-legged on the stage. It was a mistake positioning yourself here as you figure out this task, but at least you were a few more tasks away from calling it a day.

"Didn't expect to see you here—" A deep voice startles you. You were so focused on unraveling the rope from its tangled knots that you didn't pay attention to the creaking sound of the auditorium's entrance.

You clutch your chest, trying to calm your heartbeat while your eyes search for the source of the voice. You'd think finding who the voice belonged to would calm your nerves, but you suddenly feel your heart pounding harder than it did a few seconds ago when your eyes finally lock in on the other person's face. Oh god… Sangyeon.

"Uh—" You try to swallow down the non-existent lump stuck in your throat. "The rest of the team couldn't make it today so I volunteered to help…"

"I know, I signed up with you weeks ago to check on inventory, remember?" He awkwardly laughs. And in that moment, it only occurred to you that you did in fact sign up with Sangyeon for this weeks ago, the whole rift between you two making you forget that little detail.

"R-right…" You turn away to focus on the task at hand before he spots the embarrassed look on your face, quietly praying that he will decide to just leave you to your work.

But apparently, the universe had other plans for you today.

Sangyeon starts walking down the center aisle of the auditorium. The sound of his footsteps is so slow and gentle it's more nerve-wracking than any sound you've ever heard. You really do try your best to ignore him, but that alone starts to become difficult as the faint scent of his warm cologne starts to invade your senses.

"Need a hand?" Sangyeon offers, taking a step closer to the edge of the stage.

"No, I've got it," you quickly reply as your eyebrows furrow in frustration at a particularly difficult knot.

Sangyeon chuckles at your stubbornness, finding it cute rather than annoying. Suddenly, he places his hands on the edge of the stage and pulls himself up, his figure now closer to you than ever before as he sits right across from you.

"Here—" He grabs the tumbleweed of rope from your hands and starts to untangle the mess effortlessly.

"You were always a stubborn one, huh?" he teases, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment.

"I only learn from the best," you reply, sharing a slightly awkward laugh together.

"Come on," Sangyeon says, his voice softer now. "I'll help you so you don't stay up too late."

At first, you were worried about how awkward it would be to have Sangyeon around you for a couple more hours considering everything that has happened between you two. But much to your surprise, it was like nothing happened at all, as if you two were just picking up where your friendship had left off.

The first couple of minutes or so were obviously weird, but as soon as Sangyeon made a joke about an incident that happened backstage weeks ago with two of the crew members, you couldn't help but burst out laughing. From that point on, you two were talking nonstop as you tried to untangle the rope together. And for the first time in weeks, you both felt that missing part of you become whole again.

By the time you both finished straightening out the rope, he asked you what other tasks you had left so he could work on some while you did the other half. You both got up to do your tasks and met back at the same spot where you sat cross-legged from one another to finish retouching the paint on some props.

As the night went on, Sangyeon couldn't help but steal glances at you as you focused on painting the item in your hand. A warm, fuzzy feeling engulfed his entire body, remembering how it felt to be around you like this again.

He suddenly snapped back into reality as you let out a loud sigh as you brush the loose hair from your cheek with the back of your hand. A light streak of paint smudges your skin, making Sangyeon chuckle at the sight of it.

"What's so funny?" You looked at him quizzically. Sangyeon couldn't help but smile at your confused face. Without hesitation, he put down the brush in his hand and leaned closer to you.

"You've got a little something—" He held your head steady with his palm as his thumb tried to remove the smudge of paint on your cheek.

You suddenly became aware of how close you were to Sangyeon. You could see every detail of his face. Your heart began to race as you realized he was staring at you intently, his breath catching in his throat.

"T-there. Just a bit of paint, that's all—" Sangyeon stammered, his eyes never leaving your face. Before he could lower his hand, you impulsively grabbed his wrist a little more firmly than you had hoped, instantly missing the warmth of his palm against your cheek.

You melt at the touch of his caress, eyes closing as his warm hand envelops your skin. You turn your head slightly for your lips to lightly touch his inner wrist. Your heart starts pounding out of your chest; it's as if this moment seems too familiar to you.

"Sangyeon?" You say his name under your breath, wondering if he could hear how loud your heart is beating in this moment. Wondering if his heart is also beating as loud as yours.

Sangyeon's lips part, his mind running a mile a minute as he tries to find the right words to say. How can he, especially when you look at him with deep longing? After everything that has happened between you two?

He sees your eyes falter with his lack of response as you try to slowly pull away from him. Regret starts to consume him, knowing that this would be the last time he'd ever get close to you again.

No, he can't lose you, not like this. It's either he does it now or regrets this for the rest of his life.

"Fuck it—" Sangyeon grips the back of your neck and pulls you towards him, your lips suddenly pressed against his.

You impulsively place your hand on his chest and push him away, scanning his face for his reaction. But all you can see is how dilated his pupils are, looking at you with an intense gaze you have never seen before. Suddenly, the air around becomes stuffy and surges with desire all at once.

Without a word, you grab the fabric of his shirt and pull him towards you desperately as you smash your lips against his once more. Sangyeon responds with the same level of desperation as he cups your face between his warm hands and presses a deeper kiss onto you. He groans at the sound of your faint whimper as he hastily pushes the props and other items that stand between you two to the side, not giving a damn if they get all messed up.

His body hovers over yours as he leans closer to you, gently guiding your back onto the wooden floor of the stage. Your hands try to cling onto his broad shoulders, but as soon as you lay completely flat beneath Sangyeon, you find yourself grabbing onto the back of his hair and pulling him closer than ever before.

He inserts his knee between your legs, causing them to split apart while he tries his best not to place his entire weight onto you. Your core accidentally brushes against his thigh as you both adjust yourselves, gasping into his mouth at the delicious friction below. Sangyeon wastes no time slipping his tongue between your lips, moaning at how your tongues move together so perfectly. He needed to taste more of you or else he would go insane.

As Sangyeon's lips pull away from yours, they start to make a trail from your jaw down to the column of your neck. Each kiss feels as if he's leaving permanent marks on you despite not actually sucking on your skin. Your faint whimpers and sighs of satisfaction encourage him to keep going. He was so lost in the moment that he had forgotten where you were. But that didn't matter to him at all.

All he could think about was having you in his arms again.

Just as things were starting to become even more heated between you two, a loud ringing echoes in the air. The source was coming from your phone, which was just a few inches away from Sangyeon. At first, you tried to ignore it, too caught up in the sensation of Sangyeon's lips on your neck, his hands inching dangerously close to areas that made your core throb in excitement. But when the phone kept on ringing, you couldn't avoid the curiosity any longer.

You reach for your phone, trying to calm yourself before answering so that whoever was calling you wouldn't suspect anything odd on your end (but that alone was difficult as Sangyeon deepened the kisses on your neck).

"Hello?" Your phone fumbles against your ear as you try to hold it steady. "Oh, Hyunjae, I was just—"

As soon as you said his name, Sangyeon froze. It was as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him, suddenly bringing him back to reality. He chuckles under his breath, mentally slapping himself for getting so carried away with you like this that he forgot the person thats between you and him.

Sangyeon lets go of your waist and abruptly gets up to straighten his clothes and hair. Without warning, he hops off the stage and walks towards the exit of the auditorium. You try to process what the fuck is happening all the while maintaining your current conversation with Hyunjae over the phone.

"I'll call you back, Hyunjae. Give me a sec—" You get up and try to follow Sangyeon quickly.

By the time you burst through the theater's doors, you see Sangyeon walking to the nearest fountain to take a sip and splash water on his face. You walk towards him carefully as he lets out a sigh of frustration and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Sangyeon?" you call out softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder. But he flinches away from your touch, causing a massive ache in your chest.

"This... this was a mistake. I shouldn't have come here," he replies, his voice cold and distant.

"What? Sangyeon, can you please just—"

"It's nothing," he interrupts you.

"It's not nothing. Tell me."

"Seriously, it's nothing. Leave it alone."

"Sangyeon, cut the bullshit," you snap, your patience wearing thin.

"What?" he asks, his tone defensive.

"You've been acting weird towards me ever since the day after my birthday, and I want to know why," you say, your voice rising with frustration. "Why have you been avoiding me? Making me feel like shit?"

Something in Sangyeon seems to snap at your words. "You want to know what it is?" he practically shouts. "Hyunjae. He's my fucking problem. Doesn't help that I see you two everywhere I go and practically hear you two at each other like animals!"

"I didn't even know you were coming over that day!" you retort. "This all wouldn't have happened if you had just not cut me off like that. It fucking hurt, Sangyeon. Then now you can't just suddenly walk into my life again like nothing happened, kiss me, and expect everything to be okay!"

"You wouldn't understand," Sangyeon says, his voice suddenly tired.

"Understand what exactly?" you press.

"I—" Sangyeon struggles to get the words out of his throat.

"That night, your birthday party," he says slowly, searching your face. "You don't remember anything at all?"

"Stop with the cryptic shit and just spit it out!" you say, your patience completely gone.

"Fine!" Sangyeon explodes. "You want to know why I've been avoiding you this whole time?"

You nod, bracing yourself for whatever he's about to say.

"You kissed me."

His words hit you like a train. "W-what?"

"And you wanna know what hurts the most? The way you looked at me the next day when I almost tried to kiss you again. You looked at me with this terrified expression on your face, as if you regretted what had happened." His voice lowers as he explains. You don't notice the tiny dots of tears forming at the corners of his eyes.

"W-why didn't you just tell me?" you murmur, the pieces falling into place as you realize your dream from last night was actually a forgotten memory.

"I panicked," Sangyeon admitted. "What if you didn't mean it at all and I just made a fool of myself? I didn't want to ruin our friendship. And I know how dumb it was of me to cut you off, but it hurt knowing that you didn't feel the same way and I would have to live with that memory every time I looked at you."

A numbing silence fills the air for a moment.

"I—I couldn't face you after knowing what your lips felt like, what it felt like to hold you. I'm a coward, I know that now. I should've apologized during the dance, but it was too late."

You stood there, frozen, as Sangyeon poured his heart out. Then he suddenly asks you a question that made your heart stop.

"If I hadn't kissed you just a while ago, would you still have talked to me? Would you have chosen me over Hyunjae?" Before you could formulate a response, your phone rang again. It was Hyunjae. Sangyeon's face fell, and he took a step back.

"Go," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'll finish up the work inside."

You stand frozen as Sangyeon walks away. Everything suddenly feels too intense that you don’t even realize the tears that start to run down your cheeks. You need to get out of here or else you’ll drive yourself insane.

You grab your phone, fingers hovering over Hyunjae's number. At first you hesitate, torn between telling him the truth about your feelings for Sangyeon or seeking physical comfort to forget about everything. Your irrational brain picks the latter option instead.

“My place tonight? 😉”

Everything for you was completely a blur. One minute you're standing still outside the auditorium, the next you're pouncing on Hyunjae as soon as he rings your doorbell. You were so in over your head you had no grasp of time or any coherent thought.

"Looks like someone's missed me a bit too much, hm?" Hyunjae mumbles as he kisses you messily, pressing you against your front door.

"Just shut up and fuck me already, will you?" You breathe out, grabbing his hair in your hands.

"Yes, ma'am," he smirks before you both start hastily walking into the living room, leaving a trail of discarded clothes in your path.

To Hyunjae, this wouldn't be the first time he's seen you so worked up like this over him. But something about you right now seemed a bit off. Yes, seeing you incredibly horny like this was exciting, but your movements did not match the energy in your eyes. It was almost like you were on autopilot to him.

There's definitely something bothering you, he thinks. Or maybe you've been working all day and just need a way to relax. He'll probably check in on you later but for now, all he can think of is hearing those beautiful moans you make for him.

Too eager to get a taste of you, Hyunjae drags you over to your couch as he pulls you in to straddle his lap. He wastes no time littering your neck with kisses, groping your ass while you grind on his growing bulge.

"C'mere." He grabs your face in his hands, admiring little details of your face while he smiles to himself. "Tired from today?"

"Mhm." You hastily reply, wanting to not think of anything else except Hyunjae's touch. So you lean in to kiss his neck while moving your hips on his lap, your hands struggling to unbuckle his belt.

The way you answered just now threw Hyunjae off. There was definitely something wrong with you. How does he know? It was all in your eyes. Usually, you looked at Hyunjae directly when he called your attention. But now? It was like you were trying to completely avoid any sort of eye contact with him, and that was making him feel uneasy.

"Hey, uh—are you alright?" He calmly asks while gently holding your hips.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" You mumble against his throat. Hyunjae thought he might be overthinking, but the more you struggled to unbuckle his belt (which was not a difficult task for you in the past), he couldn't continue on with you like this.

He calls out your name, hoping you'd stop to look at him, but you don't pay him mind. He says your name two more times and you still ignore him. Instead, he grabs your wrists and holds them up to finally get your attention.

"Talk to me, please—" He searches your face, trying to get a better look at you.

"There's nothing to talk about, Hyunjae." You huff out, irritated that he suddenly halted your movements.

"You think I'm dumb? There is clearly something wrong and you don't wanna say it," he says sternly, trying not to get too irritated with how you're acting towards him.

"I'm telling you there's nothing wrong."

"I don't believe that at all."

"Ugh, Hyunjae, can you just stop? It's none of your business!"

"It is my business if it's making you this upset—"

"Why do I have to tell you anyway?! It's not like you're my real boyfriend—" Your eyes widen as you suddenly regret saying those last words. And to add fuel to the fire, the way Hyunjae looks at you makes you want to vomit. You've never seen his face drop in an instant. The way the light in his eyes burned out so quick, too.

"Hyunjae, I— I didn't mean to, I'm so—"

"You're right," Hyunjae interrupts you.

"What?" You look at him confused.

"You're right. I'm not your boyfriend. But I am your friend. And I deserve to know what's been bothering you because I care about you so much I hate seeing you like this."

His stern but concerned voice hits you so fast you end up bursting into tears on the spot. Sobbing hysterically into his chest as you cry out all the pent-up emotions you locked away from tonight.

Hyunjae instantly wraps his arms around you and envelops you in a warm embrace. He gently strokes your hair while steadying his own breath, waiting for you to calm down until you feel better. You both sit in silence for a few minutes until Hyunjae's voice breaks the ice.

"It's about Sangyeon, isn't it?" He says calmly. Your head springs up in response.

"How did you—"

"The last time I saw you cry like this was when you were outside the gym during the dance." Hyunjae cups your face and wipes the remaining tears from your eyes with his thumbs.

"And well… if you were crying about me, we know it's for an entirely different reason." He smirks, trying to lighten the mood. You let out a faint laugh as he continues to stroke your cheek with his thumb.

"You should be with him—" Hyunjae says as he looks into your eyes. Before you can even ask, he continues. "That's who you want to be with, right? That's who you should be with right now, not me."

"Hyunjae, I—" You shake your head in disbelief. "What about you?"

"Me?" He asks with a surprised tone. "This isn't about me! It's about you. I'm not the one you need, we both know that. We both knew that at the very beginning. It was always Sangyeon." Hyunjae's voice starts getting weaker the more he speaks out the truth.

"I've always seen the way he looked at you and how you looked at him. It's clear as day that you both need each other more than you both realize it."

"But what about our agreement?" You ask him softly.

"Remember the first rule? If one of us wants to stop this thing at any given moment, the contract will end." He pauses his thought as he looks at you a little longer, taking you to memory before letting out a big sigh.

"And besides, our agreement broke a long time ago."

"What do you mean?" Your eyebrows knit in confusion.

"Well—" Hyunjae's cheeks start to warm up. "I fell in love with you the night of our first time." He faintly smiles. Rule number two, if any of us catch some sort of feelings for one another, the contract is immediately terminated.

"That night, you looked at me like I was the most important person in the world. That I wasn't the guy everyone in school knew as some kind of dick. You looked at me as Hyunjae, the real Hyunjae." He brushes a hair behind your ear. "How dumb of me to fall for those pretty eyes of yours." He sighs once more, trying his best to not let you see his lips quivering.

"I'm so sorry—" You start to tear up, knowing that this would probably be the last moments you have with Hyunjae.

"Hey, don't go all soft on me just because I said that, alright?" Hyunjae tries to bring energy back into his voice.

"I knew what I was getting into. You deserve to be happy, and if I'm not the reason for your happiness and you're stuck with me, that would break my heart even more."

He grabs your face so you could look him in the eye properly. "Got it?" You nod in response.

"Now c'mon. Be a good hostess and walk me out of your apartment." Hyunjae smiles before grabbing your wrists and pulling you up from his lap.

He helps you grab your clothes on the floor and even dresses you up and does the same for himself after. By the time he sets one foot out your front door, he suddenly turns around to face you.

"Can I just have one more request from you before this is all over?" he asks.

"Oh? What would that be?" You look up at him.

"Just one kiss goodbye." He smirks playfully. You chuckle before nodding your head to give him the go signal.

You close your eyes waiting for the warmth of his lips on yours for the last time, but instead feel it on your forehead.

"Don't be a stranger, alright?" he places his hand on your shoulder and gently rubs it for the last time before completely heading out the door.

For the last couple of hours, Sangyeon did nothing but lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling. He could still feel his heart pounding in his ears from your heated exchange at the auditorium earlier this evening. What made things worse was the fact he could still feel your lips on his, and your little sighs of pleasure were replaying in his head.

Where did it all go wrong? Was it when he offered to help you? Or when you leaned into his palm just like you did when you first kissed him? He couldn't stop mentally beating himself up for going off like that on you when you didn't even remember that night to begin with.

And now, not only did he pour his heart out, but there's also a guaranteed chance you may never speak to him again. He regrets this night more than keeping the truth from you.

2 A.M. was what was read on the clock of his bedside table when he turned his head. He hardly even noticed the time go by as too many thoughts and emotions were stirring in his head. His head started to ache from staying up too late.

It was difficult to forget everything that had happened between you two, but sleep seemed like the best option for him at the moment to distance himself from the issue. Sangyeon tried to close his eyes and count sheep; he could slowly start to feel himself drift into sleep until he heard loud knocks on his front door.

Pissed off, he groans and trudges to see who had interrupted his moment to fall sleep. Sangyeon swings the door open quickly, hoping to show the person on the other side his irritable mood.

"You better have a good explanation as to why you're here—" Sangyeon's eyes widen at the unexpected visitor.

"Hyunjae? What— what are you doing here?" he asks.

"Do you love her?" Hyunjae looks him in the eye.

"What?" Sangyeon's eyebrows furrow at the vague question.

"I said," Hyunjae sighs out of frustration, "Do you love her? Because she fucking loves you, man. And if you don't go over there right now—" Hyunjae takes a step forward, his figure almost towering over Sangyeon's.

"You will lose the greatest person that has ever come into your life," he asserted firmly. Out of nowhere, Hyunjae pulls a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and shoves it into Sangyeon's hand.

"No time to explain, just go!" Hyunjae increases his voice slightly.

Sangyeon stays still for a moment, trying to process what the hell is happening right now, then moves hastily to grab his phone, keys, and put on his shoes. As soon as Sangyeon locks his front door, he turns around to face Hyunjae.

"T-thanks, man. I owe you one," he humbly says. Hyunjae faintly smiles, nodding in return. A silent truce being made between the two.

Sangyeon drives to your place like a maniac, not caring if he has run any stop lights or whatever. He doesn't care at all. All he can think about is getting there in time to see you before it's too late to win you back. By the time he reaches your front door, he takes a deep breath before ringing your doorbell.

You open the door slowly, cautious about who could be visiting you at this time. The moment you peek and get a glimpse of Sangyeon's face, your face knits in confusion.

"S-Sangyeon? What are you doing here?" You look up at him. Sangyeon can see how red and puffy your eyes are; it almost makes him mentally beat himself up once more, but he will deal with that later.

"I came to see you," he matches your whisper. "Can I come in?" You nod and open the door wider as he takes off his shoes, lets himself in, and places the bouquet of flowers down on a table. You're slightly stunned as soon as you close the door and turn around to see Sangyeon standing close to you.

"W-what are you doing?" Your voice quivers as your eyes search his.

"What I should've done a long time ago—" he gently grabs your face in his palms, observing your reaction to his touch before leaning in to give you a light kiss on the lips. You try your best to kiss him back with the same firmness despite feeling incredibly weak from crying your eyes out the whole night.

When Sangyeon pulls away from the kiss, he then gently kisses your forehead and slowly litters your face with his kisses. You instinctively wrap your arms around his waist, pulling him closer while your eyes flutter shut and melt into his touch. Tears of joy start streaming down your face as your heartbeat slowly paces itself to a calm rhythm.

"You really hurt me, you know?" you croak.

"And I'll never do that again." Sangyeon looks deeply into your eyes. "I don't care if I have to spend the rest of my life making it up to you." He kisses your forehead once more before pulling you in for a hug, his arms wrapping around your hips while yours move to wrap around his neck.

You stay like this for a while, basking in each other's warm embrace. As Sangyeon opens his eyes for a moment, he catches his reflection staring back at him through a mirror nearby. When his eyes drift to the back of your figure, his heartbeat starts to rise intensely.

It did not occur to him that when you opened the door, you were wearing nothing but a short and very thin nightgown. Naturally, the silk of the nightgown bunches up as his arms hold your waist, giving him a tasteful glimpse of not only your lace underwear but also the fact that the undergarment you’re wearing shows your ass beautifully.

Sangyeon suddenly starts a coughing fit, trying to beat his chest to clear his throat while you're taken aback.

"Are you okay? What happened?" You hold his shoulder while he attempts to regain his composure.

"I—uh—" He scratches the back of his head, trying his best to avoid looking in your direction. But that fails when you catch him scanning your figure and his cheeks suddenly glowing a shade of pink.

"I—I can turn around while you grab a robe." His eyes look around your apartment. You giggle at his sudden embarrassment, finding it rather endearing more than anything. You take a step closer to him, your bodies practically millimeters apart.

"It's alright Sangyeon, you can look." You try to hide the smirk forming on your lips.

"I'm trying to be a gentleman here, okay?" He replies, still trying to avoid your gaze. But he is instantly brought back to face you as you pull his chin with your thumb and index finger to get him to look directly into your eyes.

"But… what if I don't want you to be a gentleman tonight?" you whisper.

"Oh, thank fucking God—" Sangyeon pulls you into a heated kiss. Your arms wrap around his neck once more as his hands travel down to the doughy flesh of your ass, groping and kneading it.

Your hands are all over each other as you both struggle to make your way into your bedroom, giggling in between kisses as he nearly trips over your carpet. Sangyeon eagerly plops you down on the edge of your bed, kneeling down to match your eye level as you pull him by his shirt to swipe the tip of your tongue across his bottom lip. He moans into your mouth as he opens up for you, intertwining his tongue with yours as his hands rest on your lap.

Sangyeon slowly spreads your legs apart and inserts himself in between, his hands gripping your inner thighs as his lips start to travel down to your neck. You sigh out dreamily, feeling the warmth of his lips make their mark on you.

You suddenly yelp at a particular spot that Sangyeon nips. He pulls away to check if you're okay. You nod, giving him the signal to continue. Before diving back in, Sangyeon notices the spot he had nipped was already red, indicating a mark had been made prior to his own.

Hyunjae… He can already hear that laugh ringing in his ears, but decides not to let the idea get to him and focus on you right now.

Sangyeon continues to litter your neck with kisses, leaving a trail as he makes his way to kissing your inner thighs. Your breathing starts to shake as his lips inch closer to your sex. Sangyeon wasn't even near your core, and he could already feel the heat radiating from you, making him smirk against your skin before giving a featherlight kiss to the wet patch on your underwear.

"Sangyeon, please…" You whine, desperate to feel his tongue wedged between your folds.

"Shh, it’s okay," he looks up at you as he kisses your clothed mound once more. "Let me take the lead."

His fingers pull your panties to the side, feeling his length throb at the beautiful sight of your slick glistening, enticing him to just dive into you. And he does exactly that as he kisses your folds before lapping his tongue between them, taking his sweet time to memorize what you feel like against his wet muscle.

You let out a loud moan as you lie back to enjoy the feeling of Sangyeon between your legs. He continues on like this for a moment until the tip of his tongue starts to circle around your sensitive bud, making your hands fly to his head to pull his face closer to your core.

His lips suck on your throbbing clit as he inserts two fingers into your entrance, curling them up to hit that spot that makes your eyes roll back. Your hips start to mindlessly move on their own as you grind yourself on Sangyeon's face. You sound incredibly hot; it spurs Sangyeon to lower his sweatpants down to free his aching cock and fist it harshly.

You start to feel your high approaching fast, the knot inside you ready to snap any second now. But the moment the vibrations of Sangyeon's groan ring against your core, you scream in ecstasy. You clench your thighs together, squeezing his head as your essence bursts in Sangyeon's mouth. For a quick moment, he thinks to himself that if he could choose to leave this earth, he would gladly go out by being suffocated between your legs.

He pulls his head away to check on you, your chest rising and falling heavily as you catch your breath. You couldn't believe the sight before you right now: Sangyeon's disheveled hair as he too catches his breath, the shine of your essence all over his mouth and chin, and the warmth of his cheeks flaring.

"T-that was—" You try to express your current state, but Sangyeon interrupts you as he quickly removes his shirt and gets up from his spot, exposing his glorious abs and his incredibly hard cock standing at attention. You were so mesmerized by his body you didn't even see him suddenly hovering over your body and kissing you like a man starved.

"Oh, I'm not finished with you yet, sweetheart—" he mumbles against your lips. He spreads your legs further apart with his knee and lowers his weight on you, the tip of his manhood nudging your sensitive clit in the process.

Sangyeon kisses your chest, busy distracting you with the way his mouth sucks on your exposed nipple. He swiftly grabs your legs to wrap them around his torso. And in one swift moment, his thick, veiny length fills you up entirely. You both moan as he starts to roll his hips into you, pumping himself in and out of your cunt as your walls grip around him tightly.

Your bodies begin to melt into each other the longer Sangyeon fucks into your heat, all the raw emotions that have been brewing between you finally free from their confinement. He buries his head into your neck as his thrusts start to become stuttered, the throb of his length inside you signaling his high approaching. You dig the heels of your feet into his lower back, locking him in place as you also feel yourself reaching for the stars once more.

"Let go, Sangyeon, it's okay." You moan into his ear, and instantly he lets out a guttural moan as he stills his movements. His warm release bursts inside you as your own high finally falls off the edge, your walls gripping his member like a vice as he embraces you tightly in the process.

You allow yourselves to stay like this a little longer, taking the time to process everything that had just happened before Sangyeon pulls out and gets up to grab a warm towel to get you cleaned up. He freshens up a bit in your bathroom before finally joining you under the covers. You lay your head on his chest as he pulls you in for a hug.

You sigh dreamily, looking up at him as he smiles at you. You both slowly kiss once more before finally drifting to sleep, both your hearts and minds finally put at ease.

The next day, you wake up with Sangyeon hugging you close. His lips are pressed on your forehead as you feel the warmth of his breath fanning you. You smile, recalling the events of last night and finally being in Sangyeon's arms again.

You slowly peel his arms off you as you get up to use the restroom and make yourself coffee. As you finish brewing your coffee, the bouquet of flowers Sangyeon had put down on the counter catches your eye. You gently grab the bouquet and find a good vase to transfer the flowers into. A sealed envelope tucked between the flowers falls to your feet.

You pick up the envelope and scan the item in your hand for a quick moment before opening the flap and seeing the card inside. You smile to yourself as soon as you read the note, a bittersweet feeling blooming in your chest as you read:

"Pretty girls like you shouldn't be crying anymore, okay? — L.HJ"

173 notes · View notes

sungbeam · 2 years ago

Text

nonidol!lee hyunjae x fem!reader

your best friend hyunjae ain't no romeo, but you're still in love... so let's hope he doesn't find out you wrote a whole play about him!

▷ genre, warnings. bffs2l, fluff, angst, comedy/humor, swearing, college au, pining, hyunyn r kinda franchise movie buffs, shirtless hyunjae......, slow burn-ish lol, if ur a theater kid i am so sorry, stress and academic pressures, mentions of a bitter ex-friendship and ex-relationship, sabotaging and low-key terrorizing by an ex-friend, kissing, insecurity, lots of jargon i looked up and hope i'm using correctly, massive leaps in time and multiple chapters that span one day 💀, denial is a river in egypt so ig hyunjae's in egypt

▷ total wc. 30.9k (i actually overshot this one r we surprised 0_0)

this is the fourth installment of the love in unity series! this can be read as a standalone, but there will be references to other fics, and all prev and future yns will be referred to as __!yn !! i do recommend reading at least one of the prior storylines ;')

a/n: mmmmmmmmmm idk what to say but have fun bye!!! AND REBLOG FOR GOD'S SAKE REBLOG PLEASE—

EPISODE ONE (PILOT): ONE ON ONE

“HAVE you always wanted to be a playwright?”

The question caught you off guard as you glanced up from your tablet screen, the white blue-light contrasting sharply against the warm amber radiating from the small, battery-operated lamp seated on the plastic folding table. There were a couple of technical issues going on behind the curtain at the moment, so the transition to the next person auditioning would be delayed by a couple minutes. In retrospect, it was nothing, but when you were already a couple weeks late behind schedule, a couple of minutes was everything.

A young and bright second-year student sat to your right in the middle rows of the university performing arts center nosebleeds. She was peppy and eager and passionate—all the things that you sometimes saw yourself as when you were her age. Her name was Bae Sumin, and she wasn’t here to audition, nor was she here for you. She was actually here to interview a few of the dancers for the winter showcase in representation of the university’s premier newspaper called The Daily. She had asked if she could sit in for a few of the auditions and observe, maybe ask a few questions; who were you to refuse an eagle-eyed undergrad who reminded you so much of yourself?

“Oh, well,” you began, eyes flitting to the velvet curtain where you saw a man in a dark baseball cap—Lee Jihoon—give you a swift thumbs up, “kind of. Playwriting was my first love, but it eventually turned into screenwriting over time.”

“So why choose playwriting for your capstone instead of screenwriting?” Sumin followed up, as you and her attention turned to the spotlit stage where your next auditioner walked out onto.

You knew the answer to that; you really did. But the audition was beginning, and though he was introducing himself to you, you couldn’t quite get your head in the game. Why did you choose to write a play over directing a film? You quickly murmured an answer to the second-year beside you as the student onstage had gotten so nervous he dropped his copy of the script on the floor. “I guess, when it counts, you always go back to your first love.”

— ✶

It was times like these where you really valued a good, strong cup of coffee.

“—I’m gonna stop you right there.” The poor kid—you really did feel bad for cutting people off sometimes, but you swore it was wholly necessary—froze like a deer in headlights. You stood up from your chair and began making your way down the aisle and into one of the rows that were closer to the stage. “Michael, is it?”

Michael, the student on stage who had been auditioning to play the role of a Napa Valley wine salesman, bobbed his head in affirmation.

You dipped your head. “Okay, Michael. Let me ask you: what is your motivation for this scene as a wine salesman? Because, if I’m being honest, dude, I’ve counted like… four different ways you’re playing this character.” In this singular scene alone. Your head was spinning from stress, and his mannerisms felt right for the role, but his acting itself just wasn’t hitting the mark. (If that even made sense, but your initial thought when he first walked onto stage gave you the aura of a business major.)

“Um,” he stammered, scratching the back of his head, “my motivation is to… sell wine?”

“Sell wine, and? What else?” Please pick up on the lines. Please tell me you read the other lines of this character.

He rifled through his packet of stapled script papers, clammy fingers flipping through and his eyes racing over lines. He probably printed out multiple sheets to audition for multiple parts in case this one fell through. “Oh! I, uhm, I’m supposed to eventually lock Alex and Kai in the wine cellar.”

“Because…” You prompted.

“Because… my boss is the… second cousin of the bride’s uncle?” He quickly added on, and you could see the cogs in his brain turning like rent was due (your rent—your rent was due—oh shit), “Wait! Wait! And Uncle Lee overheard the ex-boyfriend plotting to get Alex alone, so he asked me to hide Alex, and I do it because I want to get promoted.”

You punched the admittedly sky-high ceiling of the performance art hall. “Bingo. Now give me desperate, ass-kissing wine salesman, Michael.”

Michael did indeed give you a desperate, ass-kissing wine salesman. He did so, very well, in fact, that you declared that you were done for the day. Because you definitely were. If you saw any more people and heard the same lines of script over and over for any longer, you were going to commit murder. At least, not without filling your stomach first. When Michael was done and scurrying off stage, you caught one of the sophomores working with Jihoon—you thought her name was SW!Yn—and asked if she could have the house lights turned on.

You trudged back up to your original seat up in the nosebleeds and found that Sumin had disappeared off somewhere. However, she left a baby pink-colored sticky note on the table for you to read: I realized that I have an actual job to do, but watching you work was so cool. Thank you for letting me sit in! x, Sumin. She’d scrawled her phone number below the message line in case you were up for a proper session to let her pick your brain, and you felt yourself smile as you tucked the note into the back of your phone case for later.

“Yn-ie!”

You settled into your seat, an eyebrow cocked in blatant amusement as you watched your best friend, Lee Hyunjae, leap down from the stage and bound up the aisle to where you were. “Where’ve you been for the past two hours?” You mused as you began packing your things away into your backpack at your feet. Hyunjae had come in with you early this morning at seven, and for the three out of five hours you’d been conducting callbacks and auditions, he had been seated beside you to keep you (relatively) sane and to give you his opinion.

He, of course, had not been allowed to sit in for Kim Younghoon’s audition, because that was favoritism. Hyunjae tried to convince you by saying he would be even more judgmental of Younghoon, but you had effectively booted him out of the auditorium. After that, he disappeared to god knew where, and Sumin replaced him.

“I’ve been around,” he said to you casually. Instead of coming into the aisle were you were, he went up one more row. “I’ll tell you about it at lunch. Hungry?”

You patted your stomach, leaning back in your chair and stretching your limbs over your head like a cat. “Yes, sir. I can go for a buffet and a half right about now.”

“Oh, a buffet and a half?” He chuckled. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms over your upper half and rested his chin on top of your head. Your heart skipped about a dozen beats then; his embrace was always very warm. “So that must mean you're resuming this train in the afternoon, too.”

“Glad to know you pay attention.”

“Hey!” He squawked indignantly, no doubt jutting his bottom lip out in a Younghoon-esque pout. “I do pay attention to you.”

You made a face that he couldn’t see, but he could feel you pat his hands. “Sure, buddy, sure.”

Cleaning up didn’t take too long, as you reassured (more so reminded) Jihoon that you would be back at around 3 o’clock sharp. If he or Chan weren’t in to turn on lights and the like, you were certain you could hold your own. You and Hyunjae agreed on heading over to one of the closer restaurants on the Ave, only a few minutes’ walk from the performing arts hall. It was a cozy sort of cafe that served really good wonton noodle soup for both winter and summer days (Hyunjae always teased you for drinking hot soup on hot days, but it was something you had done since you were a kid).

Once the two of you had settled in a booth tucked away into the corner of the establishment, you were both swift to relay your orders to the waiter. Saying you were starving would be an understatement.

“You know, there are just some people who I can’t understand how they’ve made it so far in the program,” Hyunjae said to you as you squeezed a wedge of lemon juice into his glass of water. “Thank you,” he beamed boyishly, accepting the lemony beverage to sip. “—I mean, I’m sure they got in somehow, and like—I have no right to judge, but at this point, shouldn’t you understand the basic principles of design?”

You gave a meager bob of your head, taking your own glass to repeat your actions with a new lemon wedge. “They should if they’re all graduating in one quarter, too.”

“They’re all doing capstones,” he confirmed.

You offered him an amused smile. “Well at least you know that you’re doing okay, then.”

Hyunjae sighed, leaning back against his booth seat. His gaze flickered out the window for a second, then his lip curled upward as he returned his attention to you. “I guess so. Oh!”

He straightened and leaned forward again, bracing his forearms onto the table so he inclined himself toward you. “I was gonna tell you all about my backstage adventure!”

You chuckled. “Do tell, Jae.”

“Well, we begin our adventure with collecting dance kids like Pokemon—”

You sputtered around your straw, nearly snorting water from your nose and you swiftly slapped a hand over your mouth. Hyunjae’s eyes lit up as he laughed, but he was reaching over to hand you a napkin from the dispenser on the table. “I did not expect you to say that,” you managed to croak through your miserable laughter.

Hyunjae wagged his eyebrows at you. “What can I say? I am hilarious.”

“One out of a dozen times.”

“One out of one.”

“One out of ten.”

Hyunjae simply smiled. He could do this all day. “One out of one.”

But so could you. “One out of ten.”

He leaned closer. “One out of one.”

Not one to be beaten out by your best friend, you inched closer with a slightly narrowed gaze. “One. Out. Of. Ten—”

“Order of wonton noodle soup and an order of dan dan mian?” Both you and Hyunjae shot apart, heat crawling up to your cheeks, and you wondered if it was obvious to the bored-looking waiter setting your food down on the table. You passed a glance across the table at Hyunjae, but as always, he seemed practically unfazed. In fact, he was grinning like a madman.

You sighed, rolling your eyes. When the waiter disappeared and left you and Hyunjae to your own, strange devices, Hyunjae took a pair of plastic chopsticks from the collection on the table, wiping the pair down, then handing them to you. You thanked him as you accepted the utensils from him and wiped down a soup spoon for yourself.

As the two of you began digging into your separate dishes—with Hyunjae dipping a spoon into your soup and with you reaching over to pluck a couple pieces of minced pork from his bowl—it seemed that a silent truce about the matter prior had come to settle.

Hyunjae suddenly cleared his throat, gesturing with the hand that wasn’t using his chopsticks. “So as I was saying earlier—I found Juyeonie somewhere—I can’t remember. And then we found Sunwoo. The poor kid was just wandering around like a lost sheep; he was looking for Changmin, so we all went searching for him. And then Younghoon caught up with us—how’d his callback go, by the way?”

You swallowed the bite you had in your mouth before answering. “He did great, as usual. But you’re not allowed to know more than that.”

He sent you a playfully unsatisfied deadpan. ��Hmph.”

“Hmph, back at ya,” you teased. You arranged a perfect spoonful of noodles, soup and wonton, carefully blowing on the surface. “So where did you guys end up finding Changmin?”

"In a closet."

You lurched, furiously holding back your snort as you closed your mouth around your bite. Bad. Idea.

Hyunjae didn't bother hiding his giggles as he watched you struggle to chew and swallow your bite of food. "You okay over there?"

With a glare that needed no extended interpretation, you wrestled the food down your throat. "I hate you."

"Hehe, whatever you say," he sang. "He was technically in a dressing room, but same thing. He was miserable, dude. Looked so perturbed."

You scoffed. "Perturbed? What is this? The Fast and the Furious?"

"Hey! Leave my man Vin Diesel alone!"

You cocked a brow at him as you slurped noodles into your mouth. "No." And then you added, "There is literally no reason for there to be so many Fast and Furious movies."

He huffed at you. "You know, that's exactly what people say about all franchises. What would you say if somebody came after Star Wars or Marvel like that, hm?"

"I'd murder them, and you'd help me hide the bodies."

A beat passed. "Touché."

Your lip curled in mild satisfaction. "Okay, so why's the squirrel feeling so down in the dumps? Something about that ex of his?"

Hyunjae motioned vaguely with his free hand. "Ex dance partner. Apparently, it was this whole thing that happened in high school, but I didn't get all the details."

"Ah," you replied. "I'm sure a good cup of coffee can get him to perk up just fine."

"Agreed." Hyunjae's eyes went skyward as a thought occurred to him. You couldn't help but admire the definition in his jawline as he did so. "There was something weird that happened."

"Oh?"

He quirked his mouth to the side and a crease formed in his forehead. "Yeah… we were talking about your play, right? And I was agreeing with Changmin that the whole thing was my favorite because you wrote it—"

Oh. You nodded your head indulgently, expression set in a way that seemed like you were incredibly invested in what he was saying. In reality though, your insides were flaring and you could feel the sweat dripping down the back of your neck.

"—and they just looked at each other? Like that thing you and I do when we know exactly what the other person is thinking, but I didn't get it." Hyunjae wrinkled his nose, reaching for his water. "Wondered what that was about."

You averted your eyes to your bowl of soup, trying to get ahold of yourself. "Yeah," you laughed, and you hoped it didn't sound as nervous as you thought it did, "I have no idea what that's about."

He simply shrugged then. "It's probably just something stupid," Hyunjae mused, then chuckled. "Just my friends for you. Silly geese."

You cleared your throat. "Yeah…silly geese, for sure."

And you were going to have a talk with those silly geese.

EPISODE TWO: LET'S ROCK 'N' ROLL

THIS was not your first rodeo, and it certainly would not be your last. It was approximately two weeks later, the Saturday at the caboose of Spring Break, that you found yourself standing in one of the first few rows of nosebleeds with your hair pulled up and out of your face and a packet copy of your script in hand. The entire acting cast sat in a sort of half circle mass on the stage with their own copies of the script. Today was Script Read-Through Day—as well as an intermittent fitting day.

Thanks to the efforts of your fellow workaholic, drama nerd classmate Kim Hongjoong, a handful of costumes for the entire play had been completed over the length of Spring Break. You'd asked your cast to find time over finals week and Spring Break to get a quick fitting done by Hongjoong and his team, and luckily, all of that had gone smoothly.

Now, it was your turn to lean in.

"Let's get down to business, everyone!" You said with a clap of your hands to capture everyone's attention. Your eyes roamed over the faces of the people who were selected and your heart thundered in excitement. This—this was just one part of the rush you lived for. You didn't bother to suppress your grin. "Thanks for being on time and making it back here; I know I cut your break short, but we're on a very tight schedule. Can we start with going around and introducing ourselves with name, year, major, and role?"

The circlet of introductions began at Cha Eunwoo, the young man in your year who you selected for the role of Kai, the main male lead. Younghoon was cast as Ryan, Kai's best friend, and the guy who was marrying Choi Miyeon's character Lily. Minatozaki Sana was playing Alex, opposite Eunwoo. You had been surprised Younghoon hadn't auditioned specifically for the role of Kai, but you were content that he'd gone for Ryan instead—a simple chemistry reading with the four main leads the week prior had confirmed to you that you'd made all the right choices.

The main cast also included Jung Eunbi, Jung Yerin, Choi San, and Dong Sicheng, another close friend of yours. All in all, you had been incredibly lucky with the ending line up of cast members, and the supporting cast, too.

The read-through carried along smoothly—well, mostly.

“—why, of course, dear Prim! It mainly trickles down to a few… specific details—Yn,” said San as he abruptly broke out of character. Everyone’s heads shot up from their scripts, including yours, as you watched San’s hand air-gesture to an invisible beard on his face. “I’m getting one of those weird old man beards, right?”

There was a murmur of chuckles throughout the group, and you gave him a small smile. “Of course, you are. I asked Hongjoong for the perverted-looking ones, specifically.”

He grinned, nodding. “Nice!” He thought about it, “Wait…”

Younghoon coughed up a laugh. “Shall we continue?”

You inclined your head in affirmation. “Thanks, Hoon. Yes, let’s get back to it. We were at Uncle Lee’s line about ‘specific details’.”

San had been selected to play the character of Uncle Lee, the role quite literally taken from the original Shakespeare play yours was based upon: Much Ado About Nothing. Your thesis play, the biggest project you would ever conduct in your undergraduate years, was called Jasmine. The storyline centered around ex-somethings, Alex and Kai, who were Maid of Honor and Best Man to their best friends Lily and Ryan, respectively. Because of Alex and Kai’s troublesome past, they acted like they hated each other, and Lily schemed to make them finally see eye to eye—as a wedding gift to herself, of course. She also convinced a party of characters to get in on the plan with her. It had all been very fun for you to write, and you imagined that the actors up on this stage now would make it all the better when they brought it to life.

With the read-through completed, you began splitting up groups to begin chemistry exploration readings. While you ushered Sicheng, Eunwoo, Sana, and a couple of the key supporting cast members onto stage, everyone else hopped down and scattered into the nosebleeds so they could get to know their fellow cast members more intimately.

You stood in the second row of the audience in the smack middle, one arm crossed over your stomach and the other propping your script up for yourself. Younghoon settled on one of the seats next to you, a small smile appearing onto his face as he folded his leg over the other. "Why hello Miss Director."

You hummed good-naturedly. "Why hello Mister Groom. Not up to saying hello to your fellow cast members yet?" Usually he was good about introducing himself to everyone; he was quite the charmer.

"I told the lovebirds I would pay attention to their chemistry reading for pointers," he grinned, eyes sparkling beneath the dim lights. "Kai's nervous about it."

"Ah," you voiced, glancing back to the stage where Eunwoo and Sana began interacting with Sicheng and the others on stage. "Awful nice of you, Ryan. Where's your darling bride?"

He gave you a show of wistful glance as he turned his eyes toward the ceiling and propped his cheek against his fist. "My beloved? Well, she is working her magic for the wedding. I told her—" he leaned forward onto his knees then, gesturing with his hands, "—I told her, darling! This is your special day. Anything you want is what I want. You should have seen the smile on her face—a daisy in bloom, Miss Ln.”

An amused expression fixed upon your face, you tipped your imaginary hat to him. “I think you should go find your bride, sir, before her plans get out of hand.”

“Her plans could never get out of hand,” he dismissed with the flick of his wrist.

“So you’re a Yes Man now?” You replied, your brain racking for the one part in the script you had written with this exact dialogue.

You saw the recognition flicker in Younghoon’s eyes. “That’s what love does to you, my friend. It’s not the same as those tally marks you always draw in that notebook,” he replied swiftly, gesturing to your script like it was the notebook that Kai was supposed to keep. “Say, you’ve never told me what those were for.”

Pleased, you arched an eyebrow. “That’s not the line, Hoon.”

You saw the moment he snapped out of character. He smiled, the kind of Younghoon trademark everyone could recognize and become spellbound by. “I don’t have the entire script memorized yet, Yn-ie.”

“I bet you have at least half of it memorized.”

He opened his mouth to remark something when someone hollered, “Oy” from the stage. Both you and Younghoon turned your attention to Eunwoo, who had captured both of your attention. He threw his arms open wide with a teasing grin. “Ryan, you’re supposed to be watching my back, man!”

Sana shot him a scowl. “Hey, if you get a second in this duel, then I get one, too. Lily!”

“As much fun as dueling you and winning would be, Alex, I’m not stuck in ye old days—”

“Your savior has arrived!” Everyone’s heads whirled in the direction of the doors at the back of the auditorium. There was a good handful of people who began filing in through the doors, with a very familiar blond at the helm of all the madness. Reminiscent of that one fiery Elmo meme, your best friend had his arms raised with an ear-splitting grin on his face.

Kevin Moon, one of the people amongst the masses, rolled his eyes as he passed Hyunjae to enter the auditorium. “They’re rehearsing, man.”

Choi Chanhee was swift to follow his friend. “Yeah, Hyunjae,” he teased with a grin.

You fixed your friend with a confused look. “Uhm… Hyunjae, what’s happening?”

Hyunjae jogged down to where you were, leaving his army of… people? behind. “You said you needed volunteers to help you prepare set pieces, right? Well, I told you I’d recruit some people and—” He made a wide, sweeping gesture toward the large group of people now simply crowded at the back of the room, awaiting instructions. Kevin and Chanhee sent you boyish smiles as they waved in greeting. “—I did!”

The lightbulb went off in your head. You couldn’t believe you forgot. “Oh, my god. You actually listened.”

Hyunjae wrinkled his nose. “Hurtful.”

Younghoon laid his head against his arms over the back of his seat with a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Aw, how romantic.”

Hyunjae pointed to his lanky actor friend. “Is he in character?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Your head shot over to Younghoon just as his eyes met yours. The man shrugged with feigned innocence, standing up to greet Chanhee and Kevin as the other two began slowly leading the army of volunteers down to where you all were setting up. You wondered how on Earth that man’s partner could stand his impish antics.

Hyunjae slipped into the row with you with a wince. “Aish, I can never figure out when he’s in proper character or not.”

“He is,” you blurted. You knew for a fact that Younghoon hadn’t been in character, but Hyunjae didn’t need to know that. Ignorance was bliss, after all. “But that’s besides the point—Jaehyun—”

He flashed you a smile, bringing his hands up to make a jazz hands gesture. “Uh oh, that’s my name-name. I either did really well or screwed up big time.”

You laughed, pressing your free hand to your forehead. “You did really well—”

“Yes!” He cheered while punching the sky. He laughed, bumbling over to you with arms open wide to embrace you. You simply could not escape him. “You’re welcome.”

You lightly punched his chest. “I never said thank you. But thank you. I appreciate it a lot.”

He let you go, lightly patting your head. A warm wave of energy made your nerves feel fuzzy at their synapses. “You don’t have to thank me for doing this for you. By the way, YH!Yn is on her way over; she’s just coming back from her internship.”

Younghoon suddenly, out of nowhere, appeared in the row again. “I heard YH!Yn’s name,” he chirped with a smile that looked like a heart. He waved his phone screen around, as if you could actually read what was on his screen, “Yeah, she said she’s on her way now.”

You nearly melted. “Oh, really? She doesn’t have to if she’s uncomfortable, Hoon. I know big crowds make her anxious—”

“Ah, it’s all good,” he said. “She’s happy to do it, really. It’s not that big of a crowd here, and you’re her friend, Yn. She wants to help out.”

“Speaking of more friends helping out—” cut in Kevin with Chanhee in tow (where did all of them pop up from, goodness), “—Cobie just texted that he, Sangyeon, Juyeon, and JC!Yn are all on their way, too. What’s the plan for all the set pieces then, Yn?”

All eyes went to you, and you felt your heart swell with love, pride—quite literally every happy emotion there was. This whole project had plagued your every waking and unconscious thought for months now. The pressure for this production to be good… there were too many people watching you now. But as you led your friends and your supposed army of volunteers to the backstage area, you felt like there was no way you could fail.

Right?

— ✶

You were cleaning up for the night. Your throat ached and exhaustion wore at your bones from the very extensive day you and everyone else had. Almost the entire cast and volunteer and tech crew members had cleared out by now—your friends had all decided to get dinner together, and you would all head over once you had finished with your business here.

You hiked the strap of your bag over your shoulder with a haggard sigh as you passed beneath the ghost light hanging backstage that signaled that Jihoon was practically done for the night. You caught a glimpse of the man hustling down the corridor and you called out to him.

“Hey, Jihoon-ah! I was hoping I could catch you on your way out.”

Jihoon glanced up from his phone, his slight smile illuminated in the pale blue-light of his phone screen. “Ah, hey, Yn-ie. Good first rehearsal today?”

You fell into step with him as you both maneuvered the dark backstage corridors together. “Yeah, actually. I’m very proud of everyone’s progress so far. I was so stressed about being a couple weeks behind, but… I’m lucky I have such a good group of people here.”

He hummed, nodding. “Definitely. That one—your Hyunjae—”

Your heart stumbled. “Hyunjae? What about him?”

“It’s nothing, but I thought I should mention that I heard a couple girls gossiping earlier—”

You nearly stopped in your tracks, and you felt something crawl beneath your skin. “What’d they say?”

Jihoon glanced over at you, maybe a bit surprised at how sharp your tone was, but he continued on smoothly, “You know that I don’t like involving myself in that petty drama, right? But they were volunteering with the set pieces and stuff, and they were talking shit about him. The usual, like, cocky, arrogant bullshit. Something about wondering how you put up with him all the time.”

You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. “Jesus,” you swore. “Who were they? I’ll deal with them—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said to you, firmly but not unkindly. The two of you had stopped in the middle of the corridor now, your voices hushed yet harsh still. “Hey, Yn—I took care of it. I don’t tolerate that shit in my theater, you hear? You have a lot on your plate, so I didn’t want you to worry, but I wanted to make sure you knew.”

Breathe, Yn. Your eyes shuddered for a moment. Hyunjae wasn’t always as well-mannered around other people as he was around you and his friends. He was like that for good reason—there were some things in one’s past that shaped who you would become, and unfortunately, that was one thing that you hadn’t been able to protect him from back then. So hearing something like this? You felt awful.

You finally gave Jihoon a nod. “Right, yeah… thanks Jihoon. Really.”

He nodded back. “Of course. Does that happen often?”

You rubbed the place between your eyes where an ache had formed. “No—I mean, he’s just got a front he puts on, but it’s not often. Maybe those girls just witnessed him on one of his bad days. He—” You shook your head.

“I get it; no need to explain it to me,” Jihoon murmured. He gently guided you toward the door out into the main auditorium where Hyunjae said he’d be waiting for you. “He’s a good kid.”

“I know. He’s great.” I love him.

When the two of you emerged into the darkened auditorium, the only light present was the one from Hyunjae’s phone. Your best friend glanced up from his screen, pocketing it away as he stood up to meet you. “Hey, everything okay?”

You and Jihoon exchanged glances. You met Hyunjae’s eyes, your smile small. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

EPISODE THREE: WE’RE ALL JUST TRYING TO KEEP THE STAGE LIGHTS ON

IT was Monday evening when you determined that you had reached the point in time where everything would only escalate from here. There was something about seeing the backstage crowded with techies that made everything seem ten times more real. Your day had begun an hour or two earlier than the actors’ as you came in to meet Jihoon and Bang Chan about set pieces and creative direction. When your actors had come in, rehearsal commenced by working through the first act of the script and creating a deeper understanding of motivations and purpose.

On Saturday, along with the chemistry explorations, there was also a moment where you had to sit everyone down and give them a better understanding of what this project even came from. (There was a real inspiration to the story, but there was no way you could expose yourself like that, especially in front of Hyunjae.) There had been yet another run through of the script, with some of your actors switching up the way they played their parts just slightly. That same experimentation would continue today.

You were in the box with Chan and a couple of his underclassmen peers as the few of you were discussing the matter of spotlights and the like. It was early in the rehearsal process, but it definitely killed to be early.

You heard a slight commotion as the doors at the back of the auditorium opened.

“You got it covered in here?” You asked Chan, already one foot out of the tech box.

Chan flashed you a dimpled smile and a thumb’s up, and you were on your way out and toward the sounds of newcomers. You could already make out the figures of your friends Park Jihyo and Wen Junhui from where you were running up to them.

“YN!” Jihyo squealed as she rushed to come bury you in a hug.

“Oh my god, thanks for coming, you guys,” you gushed, crushing yourself to her.

Jun scurried over, wrapping his limbs around the two of you, as well. The two of them had quite literally insisted on coming to this rehearsal as your sanity check, which you deeply appreciated. Well that, and the fact that Jihyo was helping you manage the finances for this project, as well as any sponsors who came through to support the play. You had never been good with that stuff, but luckily, your econ-business-major friend was. (Jun was always there for moral support; him being versed in acting also helped, too, with directing when you couldn’t.)

The three of you immediately got to work, and you were finally able to return to your own actors as the lot of you worked through the first couple of scenes of act one.

“What do you suggest we talk about?” Eunwoo asked from stage left where he and Younghoon lingered with their scripts in hand. They were standing opposite the stage from Miyeon and Sana, who were supposed to walk onto the stage from the right like walking into a restaurant. The main focus of the scene was supposed to be Miyeon and Sana, but because Younghoon and Eunwoo were still onstage, they had to act like they were actually doing something even if their microphones wouldn’t be activated.

Younghoon gave a shrug and an easygoing smile. “What do you think Kai and Ryan talk about?”

“Kai feels like the kind of pompous jerk who speaks only in Ralph Waldo Emerson and Sylvia Plath.”

“That could be an interesting dynamic,” Jun chimed in.

You lifted a shoulder in agreement. “I say ‘yes’. Let’s just see what this looks like—Eunwoo, play that; Younghoon, play the exact opposite.”

Younghoon sputtered a laugh, but he saluted, understanding your directions (somehow… it was probably because you had worked with him for a long time over the course of both of your academic careers). “Aye-aye.”

You made a waving motion toward stage right where Miyeon and Sana were poking their heads out from behind the curtains. “Ready? Action.”

It turned out that the overly smart version of Kai was not what the scene needed. After a couple of new directions to Eunwoo about this little thing, you eventually settled on a nice in-between that reminded you awfully of a certain someone…

Lo and behold, you heard the doors at the back of the auditorium open up once more. You didn’t turn your attention away from the scene playing out before you, but you had an inkling of who had entered the sphere of the dramatic.

It wasn’t until the brunch scene had finished, you pursed your lips, nodding. “I like that.”

“I like it, too,” Jihyo said, paired with a nod from Jun.

You flipped through your script, asking for the actors taking part in the next scene—the bar scene—to come to the stage. “Uhm, let’s see… I need all of the main cast, barring Kai and Alex, to the stage. I also need Bartender 1 to come out, as well.” You waved your hand around toward the middle of the stage. “Make a little cult circle or something—yes, Younghoon, you have to stand next to Miyeon, silly goose.”

It was now that you finally turned around to confirm your prediction of who had joined the crowd. Just a few rows up from where you and your friends were sat three eager faces. Presently, it was Hyunjae, Eric, and his girlfriend, the former of which greeted you by raising up what looked like an iced caramel macchiato. God bless.

You hustled up to where they were, making grabby hands at the frost drink. “Thank you,” you sighed, accepting the drink and straw from him.

“Aye! Hyunjae!” Younghoon hollered from the stage. “Where’s my drink?”

Hyunjae cupped his hands around his mouth. “The kid has it!”

“I’m not a kid,” Eric sulked as he attempted to cross his arms over his chest while also not spilling the iced americano he was in possession of.

“That’s right!” EC!Yn mused, then added, “You’re my baby.”

Hyunjae wrinkled his nose at the lovey-dovey young lovers. “Oh, now that was awful, EC!Yn,” he groaned. He nudged your elbow from where you stood next to his seat. “Wasn’t that gross?”

Your brain was filled with caramel and caffeine. “Leave them be, Jae. At least they have someone to be gross with.”

Hyunjae mocked a face of offense, and Eric and his girlfriend slipped past you two in youthful giggles to go deliver Younghoon’s drink to him down at the bottom stage. When the two of you were left alone, Hyunjae pressed his cheek against his fist as he peered up at you. “How’s today been so far?”

You finished your sip, swallowing down the sugary, caffeinated goodness. “It’s been alright so far. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Well,” he sighed, “I knew you were probably going hours without water, so I thought I’d at least bring you something pleasant.”

You sat down on the floor beside his aisle seat, silently offering him a sip of the drink he had treated you to. “You know me too well. And what do you mean? You did bring me something pleasant.”

Hyunjae took a ginger sip of the drink then pushed the cup back toward you. He grinned, flipping a lock of imaginary hair behind his shoulder. “Ah, you mean me—”

“I meant the kids,” you teased as you smiled around your straw with a look that was hardly innocent.

He deadpanned at you. “Never letting my head stay in the clouds ever, huh, Miss Ln?”

“Someone has to keep you humble.”

A soft laugh fell from his lips as he shook his head, then pressed his lips to his knuckles. “Well I guess if it's gotta be anybody, it should be you. Then again, that Chanhee keeps me on my toes, too."

"Weren't you the one who said he had no ass first?"

He let out a snort. "I only speak the truth."

"That you do," you agreed.

Hyunjae flicked his phone screen on for a second to catch the time and grunted. "Ugh, I have to go meet with my group members for a project in Public Infrastructure."

Your lips curled downward. "It's literally the first day of the quarter—you have a project already?"

He huffed sharply out of his mouth, sending one of his longer bits of bangs flying upward. "That's what I'm saying. Professor is insane this quarter, especially for putting me in this group. He said he picked our groups for us because we 'don't always get to choose in the real world'." He made a face. "Somebody has hurt that man, and we are paying for it. Pretty sure the people in my group don't even like me."

Your chest ached at that, and you leaned your chin onto his arm rest while he settled his head against the back of his chair. "I'm sorry, Jae. I know group projects are hard with strangers, but maybe they'll be cool with you? Are you just a little anxious maybe?"

"Dunno," he mumbled, picking at a stray thread on the red seat. He raked a hand through his hair, shifting. "I'm just dreading it, I guess. I just have that feeling y'know?"

"Yeah, I get that." You bumped your hand against his, mustering up an encouraging smile. "You're gonna be okay, Jae. I believe in you."

Hyunjae collected himself enough to smile back. "I can always count on you, Yn."

"Of course," you said, as easy as breathing air. You exhaled, "What are best friends for?"

— ✶

You found yourself seated in the darkness of the auditorium seats, the ghost light of the stage your only company. The ghost light was a single bulb that hung from mid stage in order to prevent any mishaps or accidents from happening when one had to stumble about in the darkness of the theater. It was a single part of theater superstition, as well as a sign that Jihoon and Chan had gone on their way for the night, leaving you to lock up. You'd been given charge of empty theaters before, and frankly, the peace and quiet was something you needed.

The time was nearing nine o'clock though, and your stomach growled at the thought of going back to your warm townhouse shelter for some pity ramen.

You finally shut the lid of your laptop, slipping it into your bag so you could stretch your aching limbs. You popped a couple joints as you did, then reached for your drained cup of iced caramel macchiato.

The rest of rehearsal had gone reasonably well. You were making progress, and that was the important part. Eric and his girlfriend had left a little before Hyunjae had in order to go get dinner together. Hyunjae had understandably been reluctant to leave, but he basically convinced you to let him call you while he made his way over to his project meet up location. You were directing as he did, but he didn't seem to mind and listened quietly with the occasional humorous comment.

You hoped he was doing okay.

Just as you slung your bag over your shoulder, typing out a fast text to Hyunjae to ask about how it went, your ears picked up the faint sound of creaking wood.

You froze, your head whipping around the very empty theater for the sound.

You heard it again—it was the slow, haunting creeeak, like someone was taking a deliberately drawn-out step. The hand around your phone tightened as you turned your gaze to the stage. The ghost light hung eerily in the now-quiet hall, its amber light creating a circle of light beneath it like a beacon for creatures of the night.

Creeeak… creeeak…

"Jihoon?" You called out. "Chan? Is that you?"

The creaking stopped; a shiver crawled down your spine.

"Is someone there?"

When you were met with silence, you pressed a hand to your forehead, speed-walking up the aisle of the theater and out into the lobby. Swiftly locking all the doors behind you as you made your exit, you figured you were probably just hearing things.

As you deposited your empty cup into the trash bin just outside the theater doors, you received a reply from Hyunjae. The performance hall door thunked closed after you twisted the lock mechanism into place.

With no more than a glance at the dark windows, you turned on your heel and made a beeline for the bus stop.

EPISODE FOUR: IT'S ALWAYS THE DARK AND STORMY NIGHTS

FRIDAY night brought an onslaught of the sky's wrath in the form of a storm. Rehearsal had progressed decently, and while you did appreciate how hard everyone was working, you had to remind yourself that you couldn’t rush the process if you wanted a phenomenal end product. You just needed to have faith in the people you were working with.

Nearly everyone had gone home by now, barring yourself, Jihoon, Chan, and a couple of undergrads they were keeping around to show them the ropes. You were in the backstage area packing up your things to head out for the night. You could hear the voices of your peers echoing slightly through the bowels of the theater, but none of them were too near to your location.

The hairs on the back of your neck suddenly stood up as you reached for a page of script cues that one of the techies had left behind on a stool.

You straightened, your eyes scanning the backstage area. All the lights were on tonight since Jihoon and Chan were still here. The ghost light was not your only companion tonight, and yet…

There had been a feeling creeping up on you this past week… something unsettling like you were being watched. Perhaps it wasn’t you specifically being watched—it was more so that you were never truly alone when you knew no one else was here with you. There was something bothering you about the shadows of the theater lately, and they had almost never been anything but comforting.

You had to visibly suppress your soul from jumping out of your skin when you heard that goddamn wooden creaking sound.

“Yn-ie?”

Your heart did about five cartwheels and a barrel leap as you whirled around to find Chan coming in from the other side of the curtain. He noticed your jumpiness and concern fell over his features. “Hey, you good?”

You usually weren’t so much of a scaredy cat, dear god. You let out a laugh, though it sounded more nervous than you liked. “Yeah—no, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little antsy, is all.” Yeah, that’s it. You slung the strap of your bag over your shoulder and walked over to Chan to bump fists with him in greeting. “You and the others wrapping up?”

Chan’s eyes swept over you and his mouth quirked into an expression that told you he didn’t believe your “I’m fine” bit at all. But he was never one to pry where he believed to be crossing a line. “Not really, actually,” he sighed, cupping the back of his neck above the headset hanging there, as the two of you moved back into the main auditorium together. “We just realized that some of the speakers have been left on for the past week. They seem to keep coming on even though we turn them off; just outdated tech, I guess. But we’re trying to see if we can fix them before considering getting new ones.”

The hammering in your heart subsided for a moment as your brows pinched together and your brain switched into work-mode. “Really? Okay, well, let me know if I can do anything to help—that is weird.”

You eventually said goodnight to everyone left in the performing arts hall as you let yourself out through the front doors. The rain seemed to have subsided from earlier, and the night was left with dark cumulus clouds looming above your head, and rain-soaked streets that smelled heavily of metal and petrichor. A cold, biting wind swept past your face and nipped at your extremities as you pulled your jacket around you tighter.

The walk to the bus stop wasn’t an awfully long one, but…

You stopped.

You swore you just heard a clattering sound from just behind you. Your attention went to a collection of trash cans sitting only a few meters behind you. When no animal revealed itself to be the source of the noise, you clutched your small canister of mace into your fist.

A tingling sensation crawled down your spine, and you turned on your heel to start walking faster toward the bus stop.

There weren’t many street lights posted in this area of campus, but if you could just get—

“YN!”

You nearly screamed when someone grabbed you by the shoulder, and you lifted the can of mace up in between you and the person.

“Shit, Yn. It’s just me!” Hyunjae slapped his palm over yours and shoved the nozzle of the mace can down and out of his vision. He wrestled your body to a stop, anchoring you to reality. “Holy shit, honey. Shhh, calm down. It’s just me.”

You furiously inhaled and exhaled, your chest rising and falling as you pressed a hand to your sternum. “Lee Hyunjae, what is wrong with you?” You growled. Had it been him this whole time?

Hyunjae dared a cheeky smile. “Well, I just saw you from down the street and I thought you saw me, but you kept walking. I guessed you were just in your head tonight, so I thought it’d be fun to surprise you.”

“You don’t grab a girl in the middle of a darkened, abandoned street and yell in her ear to surprise her.” Your eyes were hard as you reprimanded him; he was your best friend, yes, but you nearly had a heart attack right then. Your nerves were so on-edge that you just couldn’t joke with him at this moment.

He winced then. “Ah, when you put it like that…” He pressed his lips together, eyes taking in your tense form. There was something else in your face other than annoyance at his stupidity—something that troubled him. His voice grew soft, his touch even softer, as his hand cupped the back of your shoulder in a warm hold. “Hey, everything okay? I’m really sorry for doing that; it was stupid of me.”

You huffed a sigh and avoided his eyes. “This isn’t the first time I thought someone was watching me,” you confessed lowly, so not even the wind could hear you.

Hyunjae’s eyes widened when you said that, and he was swift to wrap an arm around your shoulders and gather you against him. His gaze surveyed your surroundings and the shadows seemed to dance in his view; his breath hitched. “Let’s get you home,” he murmured then, “I’m parked nearby.”

EPISODE FIVE: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

THE next day, Jihyo, Jun, Jacob, and Kevin were seated deep into the nosebleeds within the dim areas of the theater. Straight ahead, you and Hyunjae stood in the first few rows of seats as the actors were doing a run-through of the first act of the play. Hyunjae simply sat in the seat next to you, but you were doing your director thing. It wasn’t out of the ordinary at all to see you two so close, but something had shifted overnight from the last time all of them had seen you and he interact.

“Remind me again why you guys are here so early?” Jihyo’s question was directed toward Jacob and Kevin as she sipped on her morning cup of coffee. Everyone in the row was armed with their own cup of caffeinated brew, too; that was simply what being awake at nine on a Saturday morning called for.

Kevin peered at the other two from around Jacob. “His girlfriend and Chanhee are grocery shopping.”

Jun snorted. “Are they roommates? Why’s Chanhee grocery shopping with JC!Yn? Sounds a bit random.”

“They’re with her roommate and Changmin, too,” Jacob replied with a joking roll of his eyes. “Kevin’s just petty that they’ve never thought to extend the invitation to us.”

“Hey! You always hint at wanting to join them, too. It’s not just me, good sir.”

“I asked once, and when she said no, I never asked again—”

“—he’d only say that because he’s been scorned by love,” Younghoon lamented from the stage, his arm braced along the back of Miyeon’s folding chair. Props were still being finalized between a couple options, but Jun had found a bunch of folding chairs in a closet that you could use for the bar scene. Everyone’s attention moved away from invitation-less friends to friends playing pretend. He made a dramatic gesture, clutching his heart, then straightening with a laugh as he teased his friend who wasn’t in the scene. “I still think it’s stupid that he and Alex never worked out.”

Eunbi’s eyebrows flew up to her hairline as her hand, holding a water bottle that would later be replaced with a drink glass, froze in mid-air. “I’m sorry? This is news to me. Since when did Kai and Alex even have a chance at ‘working out’?”

Miyeon let out a delighted gasp. “Oh, where to begin?”

Yerin piped in with a lazier gesture with her water bottle. “They weren’t always sworn enemies, y'know. Once upon a time, the ‘lovebirds’ were actually lovebirds,” she chuckled at her own joke—or, her character’s joke.

Younghoon explained, "Their parents pretty much pitted them against each other since the end of middle school. They used to be friends, actually, and they were top of their class in practically everything. Except…"

"Academic League?" Eunbi guessed with her brows twisted. "I remember hearing about something like that."

"Yeah, I mean," Miyeon added, "something happened in junior year and it's been like that since."

"What happened in junior year?—"

Jihyo watched the performance with narrowed eyes, her body leaned forward onto her knees. "This sounds awfully familiar."

The three boys turned their heads her way. "What do you mean?"

She shook her head, eyes fluttering. She made a face and cocked her head to the side in thought. "Okay, maybe it's not exactly like what I'm… Jun, you remember when Yn told us about—you know?"

"That she almost confessed to Hyunjae? Ow! I'm sorry!" Jun yelped as Jihyo slapped his shoulder, hard.

Jacob and Kevin exchanged wide-eyed glances. "She almost confessed to Hyunjae? When?"

Jihyo sent Jun another hard glare, to which he sheepishly raised his hands in surrender, before replying, "Yn said offhandedly once that in junior year of high school, she was almost going to confess her feelings to Hyunjae, but then suddenly decided not to."

Kevin leaned his chin onto his fist. "Huh…"

"I don't know how I didn't even notice this before when I read through the script," Jihyo thought aloud. "Alex and Kai are Yn and Hyunjae—just…with a different ending."

All four heads turned to face forward once more, except, their attention zeroed in on you and Hyunjae. YH!Yn had appeared beside you, most likely updating you on the progress of the massive prop project she was working on for the play. You listened to her report intently as Hyunjae sat next to you, his head leaned onto your shoulder as he played some game on his phone. It was far too soft, far too—there was no way you based this all off of your own experience with Hyunjae, right?

In fact, it was possible.

As YH!Yn let you know that she would have to buy a few more PVC pipes from the hardware store, you assured her that she would be reimbursed for those expenses.

“—I know how busy you are—”

YH!Yn smiled sweetly as she cut you off, “Oh, no worries at all! I’m happy to help, as Hoon said before. Plus, this is a lot more fun than my internship; feels like a little creative project I get to nerd out on.”

You grinned at that sentiment. “Ah, I totally get that. Well, I won’t keep you from it any longer. Thanks again.”

YH!Yn gave a brief goodbye, then stood up to head back out to the backstage area where she was putting together the portable fountain she was building (you had given her a list of possible “show-stopping” prop ideas you had and she had picked the fountain). As she left, you watched as she passed by the bottom stage to catch Younghoon’s hand. Something like yearning ached in your chest. One day…

The mass weighing on your opposite shoulder stirred as he let out a noise of surprise. “Huh?”

You glanced over at him as best you could, then flashed Younghoon a thumb’s up to signal him that you were paying attention now. “Huh what?”

Hyunjae sat up straight, his nose scrunched, eyes pinned to his phone screen. “Didn’t you have a friend named Ellie in like, high school?”

Your lips curled into a slight frown at the name; it definitely rang a bell. “I did, what about her?” You asked. The sounds of the dialogue happening on stage faded to glorified background noise as you leaned over to peer at Hyunjae’s phone screen. There, he had a new text thread pulled up with an unknown number introducing herself as Ellie, a “classmate of his from high school”. Not only were you frowning, but your forehead creased, too. It had been ages since you had last been in contact with her. The two of you had been the best of friends before you drifted apart.

To be honest, you had no idea how the two of you drifted apart so easily when you’d been so close to her, but you ended up getting closer to Hyunjae anyway. You chalked it up to differences in interests, but maybe now you could get some answers. Well, that was depending on why she was texting Hyunjae.

“She texted me,” he said, holding the screen between you two. “Recognize the number?”

You could barely remember your own number. Shaking your head, you lifted your gaze back up to the stage where your actors had already moved through most of the scene. “Nope. Might be a new one since it’s been so long. Wonder how she got your phone number.”

Hyunjae blew out a puff of air as he laughed—you saw him begin to type out a response from the corner of your eye. “How do people not get my number at this point,” he grumbled under his breath.

— ✶

It wasn’t until you were seated in the booth of Junhui’s favorite Chinese restaurant on the Ave that he and Jihyo ambushed you with The Question™.

“So when were you going to tell us that the play was about you and Hyunjae?”

Your movements paused, then resumed so you could properly settle into your seat. "At least let me order first."

To their credit, your friends withheld from further questioning until the waiter had come by to take the table's order. When she had gone and was out of earshot, Jihyo pounced, whipping her head over to you and placing a hand on the table between you. You realized suddenly that you were trapped between her and the wall.

"Spill."

Your eyes widened a smidge, intimidated. "How did you guys figure it out? I mean, it's not that obvious, is it?"

Jun shook his head. "Nah, not really. Ji was just on five shots of espresso this morning apparently."

Jihyo sent him a pointed look. "I was not on five shots of espresso…" She murmured, "It was two."

"Okay, five shots, two shots—" Jihyo flapped her hands around as she angled her body toward you. "It was the bar scene and they were all talking about Alex and Kai. And I thought that the bit about junior year sounded really familiar."

"I can't believe you didn't confess to him back then," Jun feigned a disproving shake of his head while clicking his tongue.

You leaned your face against the palm of your hand with an unpretty fwump. "Guys, the play is basically centered around the idea: what if I had confessed to Hyunjae and it went wrong?"

"Just ten times more dramatic," Jun pointed out.

"And," Jihyo added, "their roles are switched. Kai's the one who confesses to Alex in the play, and it's Alex's ex who makes a grand showing at the wedding festivities to cause trouble. Yn doesn't have an ex."

"Uncalled for," you grunted.

Jihyo gave a charmingly beautiful smile that could make all the world fall at her feet. "You love me."

"You're lucky you're cute."

Jun sipped on his water. "I'm right here."

You and Jihyo bursted into giggles, the sound like twinkling bells. Jun sighed softly, but you saw the corners of his lips lift up into a small smile. For a moment, you had forgotten what the topic of this conversation was.

You sobered slightly, your hands reaching for your water glass to take a gulp, then nurse it between your palms. "Have you ever heard the saying that we always try to recreate our first heartbreak in order to rewrite how it ends?"

Jihyo and Jun quieted. They peered at you with eyes that could peer straight into your soul if you let them. That was why you couldn't exactly meet their eyes as you tried to articulate your thoughts behind writing this whole mess. "I mean," you pursed your lips, "it wasn't a heartbreak; it was never a heartbreak. My heart hadn't been broken because how could it be broken if I never even let it. You know?"

"That's not how a lot of hearts are broken, Yn," Jun murmured with a sincere depth to his dark brown eyes. There was something so soulful about them. "Most are broken in silence."

You huffed slightly. "That was a great line."

"I know—"

"Ahem," Jihyo said, reigning the both of you drama geeks back into the realm of real talk. She leaned over to wrap her arms around you, her head resting on top of your own. "So you wrote this… to conquer your fears? To comprehend your feelings?"

"To imagine, to wish, to dream," you added. It was quite sad, really. You couldn't quite think of writing anything else when the time had come to start drafting your thesis. "We write what we know best."

"I thought Hyunjae was basically there throughout this whole process," Jun said, his elbows resting on top of the table as he gestured vaguely. "How has he not figured out that Alex is him?"

You gave a shrug. You couldn't imagine how he hadn't yet figured it out, but it wasn't exactly the most obvious thing. You would soon rather go missing than Hyunjae ever figuring out the truth behind the play's inspiration. Whenever he asked you, it was always "I was so inspired by Kenneth Branuagh and Emma Thompson's rendition of the play" and "I wanted to spice up an old, timeless play and give it a kick of Today". He believed that you were writing a play based solely upon the themes of childhood manipulation, academic pressure, and miscommunication. And you were—just not only those things.

Your thesis would have never been accepted if you'd only presented a skeleton of a play about your nonexistent love life. All of the additions and embellishments to the story had come easy as you pieced together the plotline. But the two main characters had never changed.

With that now settled, the food arrived at your table. (What a brilliantly timed, cosmic coincidence!) You and your friends thought it best to move onto other topics of conversation. Somehow, you had reached the topic of your recent week of weird feelings. Not just about Hyunjae, but about the strange feeling of constantly not being alone. You'd even explained the entire debacle from last night, with Hyunjae scaring you then rushing you home.

Jihyo and Jun both replied appropriately: "Girl, what the fuck?"

You brushed it off with a nonchalance that was not convincing. (Then again, you were never an actress yourself.)

The rest of dinner progressed relatively smoothly, and when the check had come and gone, you wanted to offer a mint to your friends.

"—shit," you swore as you dug around in your bag. When your hand came up empty-handed, you brushed that same hand through your hair. "I left my Altoids in the theater."

Jihyo finished signing her bill, tucking her card away. "Oh? Well, let's go get them."

Jun bobbed his head as he shouldered his coat on. "Yeah, it's no problem, Yn-ie."

"Really? You guys don't have to; they're just min—"

"Nonsense!" Jihyo chirped. She stood up and out of the booth, giving you the space to slip out after her. She then linked your arm with hers, then hooked her other with Jun's. "Power in numbers, my love."

You could do nothing but agree—wholeheartedly. The way your heart rate slowed when she insisted that she and Jun would accompany you showed just how grateful you were. You probably wouldn't have even gone to retrieve them tonight, but waited until Monday instead. They were just mints, after all, but you were appreciative nonetheless. Even for a small item, they would be by your side.

The journey back to the theater was a brief one as Jun drove the three of you back to the performing arts center and pulled into the space right by the stairs up to the hall. You recalled leaving them on one of the dressing room tables in the back corridors, so you used your student ID to buzz into the back hallway of the performing arts building.

You and your friends' voices hushed as you all crept into the dark, abandoned building. When the door closed behind you all, you turned your phone flashlight on to guide your way toward the dressing rooms.

"It should be in one of these rooms," you told your friends as you entered the hallway of doors. You located a familiar number and pushed into the room, swiftly retrieving the teal-colored metal box of minty sweets on the vanity table.

The door closed softly when you slipped out.

"Hey, how's YH!Yn's fountain project coming along?" Jun asked as the three of you began to make your way back toward the back door.

"Oh yeah!" Jihyo perked up. "How's that going? She's so badass for that."

"Isn't she?" You gushed. "Do you guys wanna see her progress?"

There was an obvious answer to that, and the three of you made a hard one hundred eighty degree turn, swerving back down the corridor from which you had just come from. Your conspiratorial giggles echoed within the rafters and bowels of the theater, as if you were pixies from A Midsummer Night's Dream, frolicking through the forest in which they dwelled.

When you reached the vicinity of the backstage area, your footsteps faltered.

It was still dark.

You frowned, slowly stepping into the backstage area.

"Yn? What's wrong?"

Jun said it before you could, "Huh. The ghost light's not on."

Indeed, the bulb that was supposed to be on when no light was, was pitch black. A cool breeze drifted down your spine, making the hairs on the back of your neck and your arms stand up.

"Could Jihoon or Chan have forgotten on their way out?"

"You know Jihoon's not one to forget."

You drifted away from your friends as you slowly stepped into the backstage area. Your flashlight shone toward the walls first as you aimed to make your way toward the lights panel. It would be an easy fix—

Your heart dropped clean into the pit of your stomach.

The light of your flashlight illuminated the absolute chaos.

Setting and backdrop pieces that had been painted by volunteers, articles of clothing collected for people's costumes, scripts left behind torn out of their staples—all of it was flung about and scattered over the backstage floor. It was like a tornado had swept through the area, and you knew your friends were seeing what you were seeing now.

You held your breath for so long you were pretty sure you were imagining the hands shaking you.

Somebody had come in and took their rage out on your play. But who, and more importantly, why?

EPISODE SIX: PHANTOM OF THE PERFORMING ARTS HALL

"WHAT'S up with the ghost light anyway?"

There was a group of you gathered by the stage of the performing arts hall, the house lights having been turned on after you'd made a call to Jihoon and campus security. Along with Jihoon and campus security, however, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Eric, and Younghoon had also appeared. You had shot Hyunjae a text about what had happened and he'd rushed over with his friends—you felt awful about pulling them away from whatever they were doing, but Hyunjae didn't say anything about it.

You sat on the edge of the stage next to Jihyo with Jun and Hyunjae standing by you both on the floor of the auditorium. Well, Hyunjae stood in front of you and you leaned your chin on top of his beanie-covered head while the lot of you waited for whatever security pulled up from the limited amount of cameras. Jihoon had disappeared somewhere to make a call—you would hear from him, too, soon.

The question had been posed by Juyeon, who sat next to Eric and Younghoon in the first row of nosebleeds.

Jun dragged a hand down the side of his face, then rubbed his mouth. "Ah, it's uhm, old theater superstition," he replied. "Usually, backstage crew leaves the ghost light on so anybody coming in doesn't trip on anything or accidentally get hurt or, y'know—break anything."

"It couldn't have just gone out because of the power then?" Hyunjae asked.

Younghoon shook his head. "Usually it runs on the same electricity that every other light runs on. I've never been in a theater where the ghost light just randomly goes out, and there weren't any power outages today either."

"The problem isn't even about the ghost light," you said. Everyone's eyes flickered over to you and Hyunjae. Hyunjae patted one of the legs you had on either side of his upper body as a means of consolation or comfort. "It's about the props and costumes. We're just lucky that they were just scattered and not properly damaged. We would've been set back another week at least."

Eric perked up. "Maybe it's the ghost of Shakespeare haunting the hall!"

A snort fell from your lips as you mused, "Shakespeare in the park?"

Hyunjae cleared his throat as he prepared his best rendition of the Iron Man line: "Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?"

As the two of you shared a giggle and fistbump, the other remaining members of your party sent you strange, confused looks.

Younghoon gave an eye roll. "Oh dear god, you two really are meant for each other."

You caught Jun and Jihyo whip their heads toward you, but before anything else could be said, Jihoon was hustling back into the auditorium from the lobby doors in the back. He brushed the hair out of his eyes as he jogged over to where all of you were gathered, those signature bags under his eyes prominently featured. Oh, you definitely felt terrible.

"What'd they say, Jihoon?" Jihyo asked first.

Jihoon tucked his hands into his pockets as he joined the loose cult circle. "Security found that the locks on the front of the hall were picked open, so they wouldn't have gotten a record of somebody's card being used. Cams picked up someone dressed in black, but they knew where the camera would have gotten a clear shot of them. But because there wasn't anything officially damaged, there isn't much legal action we can take."

Juyeon offered quietly, "Breaking and entering."

Jihoon gestured to him. "Right. Breaking and entering, but that's about it." He pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes. "It wasn't just a prank or whatever. At least, I don't think so. What do you think, Yn?"

You swallowed, straightening slightly. "I don't think so either. I mean, I don't think any drunk pranksters would go through the trouble of picking open a lock. Even a sober one."

"Maybe a spiteful classmate," Jun suggested with a meager shrug. "Some people are ruthless."

"If there isn't much we can do, or much security is willing to do," you muttered, "then we should call it a night. We just have to take pains to lock everything up every rehearsal now."

Jihoon nodded sharply. "Right. Pains, but necessary ones."

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Eric frowned. A murmur of agreement echoed from everyone else in the group.

You pursed your lips. "It's okay, I—it's not okay, obviously, but I'm glad no one's hard work was properly destroyed. That's all that matters." Even if your nerves were a little shaken. Who could have done this?

The remainder of your time spent in the theater was picking everything up and putting them in their rightful places. By the time the group of you had finished locking everything up, the night had slipped away into its proper depths. Everyone was ready to get the hell out of here and go home to their beds, and Jihoon was certain to show you the ghost light being turned and sustaining for at least a couple minutes before the two of you were the last out.

Juyeon, Eric, Younghoon, and Jihoon said their goodnights and goodbyes, already departing their separate ways to go home. You lifted your head up to find where Jihyo and Jun were waiting for you when you saw Hyunjae standing closer to the entryway of the hall. He gave you a sleepy smile, opening up his arms for you to walk right into.

"Tired?" He chuckled, the sound creating a soft vibration in his chest as you shoved your face into his pretty-smelling sweater.

"Mm," you grunted. "You didn't go home with Younghoon?"

"Nah. I wanna go home with you."

In any other context, in any other situation, that would have meant something completely different. You swallowed, wrapping your arms around his frame. With a nod, you screwed your eyes shut and swept away those wistful thoughts. "Okay, fine."

You didn't know why you kept doing this to yourself. But he was your best friend, and tonight was… a lot. A friendly sleepover was something you needed—at least, that was what you were telling yourself.

— ✶

Being the oh-so courteous guest he was (especially since he practically invited himself over), Hyunjae let you take the shower first. You shared a townhouse a bus ride away from the university campus with two others whom you knew from rooming with them your first year of college. You had lucked out with the random roommate assignments that year, and the three of you weren't the closest nor best of friends, but you found great housemates in each other, which was just as valuable.

You had your own room and ensuite up on the topmost floor, so you and Hyunjae had a bit of privacy and wouldn't bother your friends below. You had finished with your shower a bit ago, so you were settled on your bed, flipping through emails and ensuring no important ones had ended up in the spam folder.

When you heard the door open from the bathroom, you glanced up, but returned your gaze back to this one email about a sponsorship that needed to be added to the playbill later.

"I accidentally grabbed the wrong shirt."

You hummed in question as you quickly forwarded the email to Jihyo, then looked up. A laugh sputtered out of your mouth as you took in Hyunjae taking up the space of your doorway. He was in a pair of his own sweatpants that he often left here, but instead of one of his t-shirts, he must have accidentally grabbed one of your tops. It was a Hello Kitty one you'd found in the back of your closet awhile ago, and fit you pretty nicely, so it looked strained on Hyunjae.

You flopped onto the bed, rolling around in your own laughter. "Jae!—your tits don't fit in that, honey."

Hyunjae's mouth stretched into a grin, his tongue darting out for a second. His dirty blond hair, damp and curly, hung slightly in his eyes over his forehead. "Oh, shut up."

To your detriment (you deserved this, you really did), he then smiled (more like, smirked) as he casually lifted the top over his head.

Your eyes widened just as your entire body lit up on fire. "Hey, woah there! Dude!" You jokingly covered your eyes—your whole face—with your hands as he flicked the shirt off, straightened it out, then stalked over to your closet to swap tops.

Hyunjae rolled his eyes as he ripped another shirt from a hanger and came to take a seat on the edge of the bed. "You've seen me shirtless before, Yn. Calm down."

No. How could you just calm down—? It was nearly impossible when you saw the way the muscles in his back rippled as he yanked the new, white T-shirt over his head. With muted sadness, you watched as the toned muscle on his stomach disappeared beneath the fabric.

Damn.

"You're drooling."

Your eyes darted up to where he was grinning down at his phone screen now, only looking at you from his periphery where you were still lying on the bed.

You huffed, rising onto your knees and hoping your embarrassment wasn't plain as day. But you subtly swiped your thumb across your lower lip to make sure you weren't actually drooling. This is your best friend, Yn; control yourself. "Loser."

"Child."

"Chicken."

"Weirdo."

"Nerd!" You shot back, making him laugh as you draped yourself over his back and tucked his head under your chin. His wet, cold hair tickled your skin, but it was a welcome sensation.

You peered down at his phone with him from your perch. "Who's that?" You asked as he opened up a new text notification from a new number.

You were scanning the message the sender had texted while Hyunjae huffed. "Another of your suitors, milady," he drawled sarcastically.

The message said something like "would she be interested?", the "she" referring to you.

Hyunjae typed out: In you? Probably not.

You let out a gasp, hitting him playfully on the (muscle of his) shoulder. "Hyunjae!"

He snickered, exiting out of the text chain, then deleting the number. "What? I'm just being honest. I feel like every dude who's interested in you goes through me to ask and it's so lame."

You absentmindedly watched as he opened up Instagram and started brainlessly doom-scrolling. "Maybe it's 'cause you've so clearly friendzoned me," you muttered incoherently under your breath.

"Huh? What was that?"

"Maybe it's 'cause they see you as the gatekeeper," you amended, leaving him to climb off your bed and step into the bathroom to prepare your toothbrush for use.

You could hear the incredulity in his voice. "Gatekeeper? Pfft, no way. They're all just cowards; they don't deserve you if they can't ask you out to your face." After a second, he added, "Hey, I don't gatekeep you!"

You made a face at yourself in the mirror as you brushed your teeth. "Uh-huh."

"That's not reassuring, Yn-ie."

You poked your head out of the bathroom and made eye contact with where he had rearranged his position so he sat up against the headboard. "I was just agreeing with you," you teased, then retreated back into the bathroom to finish up your night routine.

"No, you weren't, you menace."

You flicked the lights in the bathroom and bedroom off and rolled onto the bed next to him. The two of you laid facing each other in the dark, your bodies kept to your own sides of the bed and blanket. You both were propped onto your sides, one arm tucked beneath your head.

"I don't gatekeep you," he said into the silence, his voice lowering to match the volume of darkness. He poked your cheek with a finger, as if he could stamp the declaration there.

You gave a small smile. "Okay, Jae." A thought suddenly occurred to you as you broke your stare-down to twist around and grab your phone from the nightstand to see if Jihyo and Jun had said something to the group chat. "Oh, by the way, did you ever figure out what Ellie wanted?"

Hyunjae shifted so he was on his back now, one hand still braced behind his head and the other resting on his stomach—but his eyes still watched you. "Something about a random high school project from senior year. She couldn't find the file for it and wanted to draw inspiration from it or something."

"I didn't know you had a project with her in senior year," you said offhandedly, shutting your phone off and replacing it onto the nightstand. You sighed, slipping further beneath the covers and closer to Hyunjae.

He drew you close, tucking you beneath his chin this time. "Yeah, it wasn't really important. Nothing to worry about."

"I wasn't worrying."

You could already feel yourself drifting off into dreamland, the exhaustion in your eyes making your eyelids close like valance curtains at the very front, lowering to mask the backstage magic from the audience. Except, the magic were your thoughts rocketing into the realm of the fictional. For a split second, you thought about somebody being in your position with your best friend one day. Would it hurt to think about then as much as it did now?

You couldn't exactly think about that future right now. Hyunjae, you liked to think, was far from letting anyone new into his carefully-maintained walls. He had been hurt by people before, and you'd be damned if you didn't protect him from that ever happening again.

You thought Hyunjae had fallen asleep until you felt his thumb brush against the back of your shoulder. "When have I ever friend-zoned you?"

Your heart stuttered in your chest for a moment, but it wasn't enough to wake you up completely. As you drifted off fully, you convinced yourself that you had imagined him saying that. You were both awfully tired, anyway.

EPISODE SEVEN: OH SHIT, WAS MY MIC ON?

TWO whirlwind weeks had flown by. You could hardly even soak in the moments of this last undergraduate project before it all began to blur together. The only ways you were able to properly tell time were crossing out calendar dates and—

“Oh my god, oh my god! Get it out, get it out!”

You, along with everyone present in the main auditorium of the performing arts hall, came to a screeching halt as a flurry of squeals erupted from somewhere deep backstage. You and the conductor of the pit orchestra exchanged concerned expressions before you were making a beeline for the fastest access point backstage. Younghoon and Eunwoo were swift to accompany you, and though you had a sinking feeling you knew what this was, you held your grimace for when you confirmed your suspicions.

Over the past couple of weeks, the feeling of being watched had not faded from the back of your mind. You tried to adjust rehearsal schedules so that they were a little earlier in the evening, but people had lives and you simply could not inconvenience them based on someone trying to scare you. Plus, with the spring season flying in swiftly, the sun retired a lot later, which gave you some peace of mind, at least.

But over that same time, the person meddling with your show had ceased to cease. One day it was sky blue fabric strewn all over the main stage; another day it was peacock feathers left in the projection box; there were cables missing from tech, headsets changed to radio channels. Somebody was clearly pulling out all the stops to ensure that this theater and production was full of old theater superstitions and bad luck, either to scare you or the people you were working with (or both), and frankly—it was working. To an extent.

You stormed into the back corridor of the performing arts hall, the supporting cast and tech crew all sprinkled about the hallway, anxiously watching you and your friends pass by them toward one of the larger dressing rooms.

“What is going on?” You demanded as you entered the dressing room. There was a small gathering of people gawking at something—the dressing room vanity mirror. The breath left your lungs at the sight.

The surface of the mirror was vandalized, the infamous word “Macbeth” scrawled all over its reflective plane in red lipstick. Some of the product had begun to melt from the heat of the lightbulbs around the mirror and dripped down the mirror like blood. It would have been a comical prank if this wasn’t a theater. You felt a stiff, cool breeze run across your skin.

Somebody was really trying to fuck you over, huh.

You shoved down a swallow. “Somebody get me some Windex,” you croaked. When nobody moved, you repeated yourself, forcing a bit more strength into your voice.

Chan appeared in the room, his own eyes pinned to the subject matter upon the mirror, as he handed you a bottle of Windex and an old rag.

You snatched it out of his hands with a “thank you”, then marched up to the mirror. With shaky hands, you began scrubbing away at the word written over and over on the mirror. You heard Chan corral everyone out of the dressing room and back to their original activities. All your senses had dulled by now, and you felt Younghoon gently pry the rag from your hands so he could reach the spaces that you couldn’t.

“Who is doing this?” You voiced to the now sparsely populated dressing room. You sat in one of the dressing room chairs with your hand pressed to your forehead with Younghoon, Chan, and Jihoon present. Eunwoo had gone out to calm people down, but you knew that this was going to draw a line for some people. It was a known superstition not to utter the name of the notorious Scottish Play in a theater, and it had just been named about a couple dozen times on the mirror behind you.

Your friends could offer no suggestions.

Your pride took an even bigger hit when you decided to cut the remainder of rehearsal for the day; you were certain there were at least a handful of people who were scandalized by what just happened.

“Are you okay, though?” Younghoon asked you for the third time as the two of you watched people leave the performing arts hall from the base of the nosebleeds. “I know that you’re not usually so… swayed by superstition.”

You could only give a stiff shrug. “I’m not,” you agreed, “but this is going to be the biggest project and production of my undergrad career. I don’t—I can’t take any chances.” You smoothed a hand over one half of your face. “God, I’m just tired, Hoon. I’m so stressed, and cutting rehearsal short today—we’re gonna be set back another day—”

“Hey,” he soothed, grasping you by the shoulders so you would look him in the eye. He offered a kind smile, “You’re doing great, Yn. I can’t imagine the pressure you’re under right now for this to go perfectly, but I think you have to have a little faith in all of us, including yourself. One rehearsal is not going to make a difference in the long run. We’ve got a lot of talented, hard-working people who will sleep this mishap off and come right back to make up for lost time.”

He squeezed your shoulder. “And whoever’s been doing this? They’ll get their due karma.”

You let his words soak into your brain. You needed this; you needed those words said to you. With a nod, you and Younghoon deigned to head out with everyone else. Jihoon and Chan were swift to shut the theater down for the evening, as well.

As you and Younghoon stepped out into the early evening, the sky still glowed a buttery yellow swirled in purpley-blue. There was another breeze wafting by, but instead of the chills you got before, it was slightly warmer and made you inhale deeply. The air out here made your lungs less constricted, you realized, and maybe you’d been stuck in that theater for too long lately. This would be good for you, as well as everyone else.

“I think me and some of the cast are gonna get together to go over some scenes at the grove,” said Younghoon as he peered down at his phone screen. “Wanna come with?”

You brushed a strand of hair from your face, a decision coming to surface. “Nah, I think I’m gonna take a walk. Get some fresh air.”

Younghoon passed you a brilliant-sort of smile that gleamed in the golden hour light. “Alrighty, director. Sounds good. Have a good night then, Yn-ie.”

“Yeah, you too. Thanks for today, Hoon.”

You and Younghoon parted ways there, and while he traveled down the stairs toward east campus, you traveled northward toward the quad. The quad, a place most known for the cherry blossom trees that bloomed in the early spring, was no doubt full of people taking late afternoon strolls in the temperate spring climate. It was the perfect environment for you to relax and let some of the stress and pressure fade from your pulsing temples.

There were no longer cherry blossom flowers blooming upon the dark branches, but healthy, dark green leaves. Even if they were shades of pink, they were still beautiful nonetheless.

After making a full loop around the quad lawn’s perimeter, you made a detour down one of the side pathways that were lined in trees that yawned toward its partner on the other side of the pathway. It was noticeably quieter and less populated here, and for once, you actually didn’t feel like you were being watched.

You were walking for only a few minutes in the serenity when you saw a pair of people standing in a clearing of trees just to your two o'clock. You stopped, a familiar blond haired best friend catching your eyes.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Was what you heard from Hyunjae, and you almost marched right up to them to defend him.

That was, until you saw the girl's face.

You hadn't recognized her at first because she had her back facing you and she had changed her hair. But it wasn't difficult to recognize your old friend, Ellie, the one who Hyunjae said had contacted her. Your eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. Why were they together right now? You thought Hyunjae had said weeks ago that she was just trying to get ahold of an old project they'd done together in high school.

Ellie placed her hands on her hips, her facial expression stony and unreadable. "Can you think rationally for a second and listen to me all the way through? That's what you agreed to when you said you'd meet me."

Huh?

You pressed your side against the nearest tree trunk, your heart thundering your eardrums.

When Hyunjae said nothing, Ellie continued, exhaling sharply, "Okay. As I was saying earlier, do you even know what the play's about? …No. Look at you; can't you see? You don't even know what it's really about."

"Of course, I know what it's about," Hyunjae sneered. "It's about how academic pressure and miscommunication can ruin relationships—"

Ellie laughed, the sound mirthful, and yet carried an air of malice that made your skin crawl. This wasn't the Ellie you remembered… "That's funny, oh my god! You really don't know what it's about."

"What are you going on about?"

"I think you should ask her," she said with a smile. You peered around the tree, feeling utterly stupid like one of those characters from a teen drama eavesdropping on their lover and their nemesis. "Ask her, Hyunjae. I'm sure she'll tell you what it's really about when you mention that I told you she st—"

"Yn?"

Oh, for fuck's sake. You nearly jumped out of your skin at the sound of Jihyo's voice from behind you. You quickly grabbed her and dragged her down behind the tree trunk next to you. When she sent you a look that told you she thought you were completely deranged, you pressed a finger to your lips.

She indulged you, thank god, and followed your lead as you crept around the tree trunk again.

"It's cute that you have so much trust in her," was what you heard Ellie say next.

Jihyo squinted as she tried to identify the girl. "Who the fuck…?"

You kept your eyes glued to the pair before you, but muttered to Jihyo quickly, "That's Ellie. Old friend of mine from high school, but we drifted apart. Haven't talked to her since."

"She and Hyunjae are friends?"

"No, I have no clue what's going on." Yet, your stomach twisted and churned and you felt bile crawl up the length of your throat.

A muscle feathered in Hyunjae's jaw, but he couldn't seem to get himself to say something.

Ellie looked upon him pitifully. "One day, she'll drop you, too—when she finds someone better. That's what she did to me, y'know? I don't know why she went to you, though. You are awful. I've heard all the stories."

You saw red.

This time, Jihyo had to grab a fist full of your shirt and yank you down next to her to prevent you from clawing Ellie's vocal chords clean out of her throat. Because you would have.

Anything—you would've done anything to never see the flash of shame, hurt, and anger across Hyunjae's face when she said that. It was like she'd slapped him, clean and hard. Your chest ached as you watched his hand tighten into a fist at his side.

"You don't know anything about me," he said icily.

And it was over all too soon. Ellie said something to Hyunjae, but it was too quiet to hear. When Ellie left her own way, Hyunjae stalked off in a different direction, leaving you and Jihyo where the two of you remained hunched behind the tree.

You made to get up, but Jihyo pulled you back down again. "Ji, I have to go make sure he's okay—"

"I know you do," she told you firmly while keeping you seated down next to her. "But you're not in the right headspace, and neither is he. You need to breathe, especially after today and whatever the hell that was."

When you sent her a questionable look, she explained, "I bumped into Sana on my way to the performing arts center and she told me what happened. Then Younghoon told me you went on a walk and I just tracked your phone to here."

Your jaw dropped. "You tracked my—"

"Shhh," she shushed you, pressing a finger against your lips. "That's besides the point! Are you okay, Yn? For real."

You leaned back onto your palms, a frown coming up to your lips. "Everyone keeps asking me that lately."

"It's a valid question."

That was fair, you supposed. You released a sigh. "I mean… not really? I'm just stressed, and I don't even know what to think or how to comprehend what we just witnessed." Your brain was buzzing with every one of Ellie's biting words. What had she meant by all of that? She sounded so bitter, so malicious… What had happened?

Jihyo pressed her lips together, sitting down properly onto the grass. "What was that? Did you and Ellie end on bad terms?"

Your brows creased together and you absentmindedly scratched your jaw. "No," you murmured. "Not that I remember. It was just like we drifted apart over time. At least, that's how I remember it. I dunno."

You blew out another breath of air. Ellie and you had both been really good at what you did—theater, writing, all of the works. You two were a dynamic duo; if people now claimed you were a prodigy, then Ellie was your twin. In a way, you could probably say that your characters from the play you wrote almost mimicked yours and Ellie's creative abilities and technical prowess, but just in different spheres. While the love story was based upon you and Hyunjae, the foundation had been from you and Ellie.

But it eventually faded, that friendship. You figured that was just how things worked, as unfortunate as it was. You both moved on, and you found Hyunjae.

You relayed all of this to Jihyo, your friend listening to your words intently.

"—but I've never carried any ill will toward her," you reiterated at the end of your spiel. "I truly haven't heard from her since and she hasn't reached out either. I don't know what could have caused her to tell Hyunjae all of that."

Jihyo pressed her mouth to her knuckles as a thoughtful frown graced her porcelain features. "Hm, yeah. It's curious, for sure. What were they saying before I got here?"

You gnawed on your top lip. "She kept insisting that he didn't know what the play was really about and that he should ask me."

"Huh."

"I know right." You carded a hand through your hair. "I'm screwed."

"Only if he actually works up the guts to ask," she countered. "Though, I think you should beat him to it."

You cocked your head to the side in question. "What do you mean?"

She lifted her shoulders in a half-hearted shrug. "Y'know—like you have to confront him about meeting with Ellie. You can't keep this from him; I know you."

Yeah, she was right. It would eat at you if you let that guilt swirl in your stomach. Plus, all of those things Ellie had said to him… you hoped he was okay. Dear god, you hoped he was okay.

(But the question now, you supposed, was who would bring it up first?)

EPISODE EIGHT: EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT SHE'S THE BO-BO-BO-BOSS

FUNNY story: it took a week before you and Hyunjae could even have a proper conversation, in person.

With the quarter well underway, there was little to no time to stop and smell the flowers anymore. This had now become a race toward graduation, meaning that everyone was focused on their own problems. The “pranks” had dulled down, but they were, by no means, completely gone. There were always the occasional cord missing, or that dreaded creaking noise in the wings on late nights.

You’d grown used to it by this point, and so had your peers, luckily. The conversation between Ellie and Hyunjae sat in the back of your mind at all times. You always knew it was there, but you had so many things to worry about. Act two was just about wrapping up though, and so, play progress was chugging along well on schedule.

You really did have nothing to worry about—maybe it had all been jitters. Maybe it would all just finally go smoothly.

Friday night rehearsal was a little slower tonight since everyone had been here since noon. You’d all practically spent the entire day together, having lunch first, then diving into proper rehearsal. It had been a rehearsal full of laughs and a good time, and by the time Hyunjae stepped foot into the performing arts hall, you felt that you could take on anything. Even the conversation that needed to take place.

“Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me about something?” He said as the two of you stepped into the privacy of the sound booth, the tails of laughter still lingering in the air from the scene he had come into. You were currently rehearsing the directions of the first scene of act three, where Younghoon’s character was going through a full-on “groom-zilla” mode while Eunwoo’s character couldn’t stop talking about Sana’s character. It had been a full one-eighty character swap between the two friends.

You licked your lips, trying to press your smile down a little. “Oh, yeah. I was taking a walk, like, a week ago—and I saw you and Ellie talking.” You figured it would be better to just air it out right away; there was no need to beat around the bush. You lowered yourself onto the edge of one of the tables inside the booth, the air turning stuffy from the insulation inside the box. Crossing your arms loosely over your front, you watched as Hyunjae’s mood shifted, his body shuffling as he sought a comfortable position against the wall by the door.

Hyunjae cleared his throat, head ducking as his hand cupped the back of his neck. “Oh, really? You saw that?”

“I heard what she said to you—”

His head whipped up at that.

“—and I can’t believe she said that,” you said, those dagger-sharp words echoing in your mind from what Ellie had said to him about his own character. “Are you… are you okay?”

Hyunjae’s eyes widened a millimeter. “Am—am I okay?” He stammered.

“Yeah, I mean, she said that you were awful and it was…” You shook your head with a haggard sigh. “I’m sorry she said all that to you.”

“Thanks,” he exhaled, peering over at you through his eyelashes. He looked so small for once. “I—” He huffed air out from his nostrils, leaning his head back against the wall as he struggled to find the words he wanted to say. “Is that all you heard though?”

No, I also heard her insist you ask me what the play is about. You blinked, your own voice seemingly trapped in your throat. Why couldn’t you just own up to it?

But he must have taken your silence as you saying that you hadn’t heard anything else, so he gathered his wits to ask you, “Yn, what’s the play really about?”

The breath left your lungs. “You know what it’s about, Jae. You were there while I wrote it.” Please don’t make me say it. Please don’t make me say it. Because a part of you knew that if he pushed, you would give. You would tell him because… how could you not? If he wanted you to be honest with him, then… oh god, would you really? Would you risk this little secret of yours and ruin a friendship? Either way—it could go either way.

His tongue darted out for a moment as he carded a hand through his hair; he took a couple steps toward you. “I know, Yn. But—Ellie kept on insisting that I ask you what the real idea behind the play is. And she—and she,” he laughed, the sound disbelieving, “she said that you stole the idea from her, which is crazy! I know it’s crazy, because I watched you labor over this thing for months.”

She what? All thoughts except for one left your brain at that moment: why in the world would Ellie tell Hyunjae that you stole the idea for Jasmine from her? You didn’t remember ever seeing this kind of work from her before. “I didn’t steal anything from her.”

“I know,” he replied again, placating you. He now stood right in front of you, but your eyes raced back and forth about a mile a minute as you mentally went through the things you remember ever writing with her. You couldn’t remember; you couldn’t think. Why would she say that? “So I just wanted to ask,” he said slowly, his words drawn out as he leaned down slightly so you would look him in the eyes, “what is the play really about? The real meaning.”

There were pros and cons to telling him. On the one hand, you could spew the same surface-level bullshit that you usually did, but you had a feeling that one wouldn’t work this time. On the other hand, you could tell him—the truth. That was the worst pill to swallow. It could end in utter catastrophe or it could end in your wildest dreams. But what if, when he didn’t feel the same about you, had to let you down easy and your friendship would never be the same ever again? You couldn’t bear losing him, you just couldn’t. You loved Hyunjae…

“Yn, you’re scaring me,” he said with an anxious laugh.

You met his eyes then. “You don’t trust me?” You blurted before you could stop yourself. Those words, that tone… it sounded to you like he really was starting to believe what Ellie told him.

Something flashed across his face, and he was racing to defend himself. “What? No, of course I trust you. I just—I just want to know what the real meaning behind the play was about; that’s all!” And if you can’t tell me, then what else am I supposed to believe? “Yn, come on, honey—please—”

“It’s about you.”

All breath left him. You saw the way one hundred and one emotions flickered through his eyes; all of thoughts racing about at once as he tried to comprehend. “What? I don’t—I don’t understand.”

You balled your hands into fists in front of you as the frustration suddenly bubbled to the surface. “I wrote it about us, Hyunjae,” you told him. “Alex is based on you, Kai is based on me. I’ve been in love with you since junior year of high school, and that is what the true premise of the play is about.” Your hands were shaking now, gesturing between the two of you in stiff, constrained motions like the feeling of your chest’s range of movements at this time.

You watched it dawn on him, watched him swallow—hard. “Yn, I’m sorry—”

“Jaehyun.”

He shut up immediately.

You pressed your fingers to the space between your eyes. For a second, you swore you could feel tears tickle the insides of your eyes, and you blinked them away, inhaling deeply to get your body to calm the fuck down. Why were you crying? There was no reason to be crying right now. “Can you—” you stumbled over your words for once, “—can you give me some space. I can’t… I can’t think.”

He obliged you, backing up a few steps, and you said fuck it. “Hyunjae, I need space. Please.”

You thought you saw hurt flash across his face, but you just wanted to be out of his eyesight. You couldn’t bear to feel those soft, sympathetic eyes on you. You couldn’t bear the weight of his “I’m sorry I don’t feel the same” right now.

“Okay,” he said, though barely audible.

It took a minute, but he left and you were finally able to suck in a large gulp of air. You strode out of the sound box and realized that everyone on stage was either looking your way, or had quickly turned their heads to pretend they hadn’t just seen that silent argument take place through the sound box window.

Your face and neck were on fire, but you swallowed your pride and returned to your rightful place in the middle aisles of the floor seats. You picked up your script from where you’d abandoned it by your bag. “Right,” you said, your voice shaky until you cleared your throat. (Your hands were definitely still a bit wobbly, but that wasn’t your greatest concern right now.) “Where were we? Scene one, right?”

Everyone slowly began making their way back to their original positions, but Younghoon walked up to the bottom stage and lowered his voice to say, “Yn, we can take a break if you need one. Take five, then reconvene.”

He probably knew what just went down in the sound box. Yet, you found yourself shaking your head. “No, it’s fine,” you assured him, un-reassuringly. “I can do this, Hoon.”

He frowned at you then—those damn, soulful eyes—but nodded, respecting your decision. Like everyone else, he returned to the original position his character was in at the top of the scene.

I’m sorry, his voice seemed to echo in your ears. A part of you ached at the thought of that stark hurt on his face, but you were hurting, too. Why would you send him away like that?

You blinked, your head clearing. “Okay, everyone. Let’s see it.”

— ✶

A few hours later, you finally had everyone wrap up for the night.

“Thanks for all your hard work today!” You exclaimed as the actors and techies began swarming the stage to put props away. You climbed up to the stage, too, jumping onto one of the backdrops that Younghoon was wheeling backstage to help him direct it through the heavy folds of the backdrop curtain.

Younghoon shot you a smile from the other side of the prop. “Well, Miss Director, nice work today.”

You returned the expression wholeheartedly. “Thanks, man. The same goes to you; I appreciate all your hard work today. And that idea for the wedding sequence was absolutely brilliant.”

He chuckled at that, and the two of you worked together to slot the prop onto the cart with the rest of the ones that were just like it. A couple of stagehands then moved the assembly line along and rolled the cart down the hall to lock up in one of the dressing rooms. “I like to think I’ve been to enough weddings at this point to know how to spice them up.”

“Ah, that’s right,” you mused along with him as the two of you began walking down the backstage corridor to where you knew his partner was hard at work with that miraculous fountain. “I remember something about yours and YH!Yn’s first proper outing being to your cousin’s wedding?”

Younghoon threw his head back with a hearty chuckle at that. “Your memory serves you correctly then,” he confirmed. “Well, it wasn’t our first proper outing together. Technically, we met at an outing—”

“What do you think they were arguing about? It looked like they broke up or something.”

The line caught you off guard, and your footsteps faltered. Younghoon gave you a confused look, eyebrow arched. Your ears strained to eavesdrop on the conversation happening in one of the open dressing rooms you just passed by.

“No way that they were dating! … okay, I guess that would make sense why she put up with him all the time,” a second voice scoffed. “Maybe she finally got tired of his bullshit and cut him off.”

“That would make sense as to why he got out of the theater so fast. I went to their high school, and even after Hyunjae left, the year above me still talked about him—”

Your hand slammed against the doorframe of the dressing room, effectively making the two stagehands inside jump in surprise. They gaped at you with wide eyes, lips parted in shock as you addressed them with a carefully-made blank expression. “Let’s not go sticking our noses where they aren’t appreciated, yeah? Worry about yourselves, thanks.”

The two bowed their heads, apologies crawling from their mouths, and you turned back into the hallway where Younghoon was waiting for you.

You resumed your walk down the hall, and your friend casted you a side-long glance. “Thanks for standing up for him like you do,” he said to you. “I don’t know what happened today, but…”

“It doesn’t matter what happened today,” you said to Younghoon with a small exhale. You gave him a smile, even though you knew it wasn’t convincing. “I’ll always stand up for him.”

“Even when he doesn’t deserve it?” Younghoon joked with a laugh.

Your smile curled a little wider. “Even when he doesn’t deserve it.” In reality, you knew that he deserved to have someone stand up for him. Whether that be you, or Younghoon, or even Jihoon—you knew that everyone deserved to have someone watch their back when they weren’t around. You might have pushed him away earlier this evening, but that would never stop you from continuing to protect him. It was simple, really; you loved him.

EPISODE NINE: ARE DRAMA MAJORS ALWAYS SO DRAMATIC? WAIT, DON’T ANSWER THAT.

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have done this in the grocery store like you guys always do,” Hyunjae grumbled as sounds of livelihood raged all around him: pots and pans clanged to the sizzle of food on the stove, the TV played some random American murder mystery show on low volume, and Hyunjae was sandwiched in between two others on his and Younghoon’s apartment couch.

Chanhee, who sat on the other side of Juyeon (who was on one side of Hyunjae), snorted. His nose was in his phone as he scrolled through Instagram, but didn’t look up as he replied, “As if we’d let you into Grocery Aisle Therapy. That’s exclusive admission.”

“That’s true,” Jacob chimed in from Hyunjae’s other side, as the man spooned a generous helping of Frosted Flakes into his mouth, “I tried.”

“And if even Jacob was denied entry,” Sangyeon mused from the kitchen as he turned off the stove and hood range, carrying over a bowl of the fried rice he had made for himself. Haknyeon skipped behind him with his own bowl and his cheeks were already full of the delicious food. Eric and Sunwoo were swift to follow their friend’s lead and raced into the kitchen to get a helping for themselves.

Changmin made a face from where he sat on the floor below Chanhee and Younghoon. “Not for lack of trying. You should’ve seen JC!Yn try to resist his goo-goo eyes. Bleh,” he gagged.

“I admire her tenacity then,” Hyunjae sniffed. “Not everyone can resist Jacob.”

Jacob beamed.

Kevin narrowed his eyes at Changmin. He sat just a few spaces away from the glasses-wearing menace, but carefully cross-legged and cradling a bowl of popcorn in his hands. “You say that when you literally pined after your girlfriend like an angsty teenager for three years.” He feigned a face of contemplation, then added, “Oh wait, you actually are an angsty teen—aye! Dad, Changmin hit me!”

“I am so sick of this family,” Sangyeon mumbled under his breath as he collapsed into the armchair adjacent to the sofa-sectional everyone else flocked upon. “Enough, both of you. Why were we all called here, again?”

Eric slid back into the living room on the polished wood floors in his socks, then perched atop the arm of Sangyeon’s armchair as he feasted upon his bowl of fried rice. He carefully lowered each spoonful of rice into his mouth so he wouldn’t dirty the fluffy cardigan he now wore. "Hyung's in trouble with his lady lover."

“Lady lover?” Sunwoo echoed with his face scrunched up like he just ate something sour. He had taken the spot between Kevin and Changmin to hopefully stop one from kicking the other again (hopefully).

"You're so judgmental."

"And you're—"

Sangyeon massaged the migraine pulsing in his temples away furiously with a clear grimace. "Shush, children. What did you do this time, Hyunjae?"

Hyunjae's jaw dropped, an image akin to one particular Pikachu meme. "Why am I immediately assumed to be the one at fault?"

"You summoned us all here," Haknyeon said with a shrug. "And Younghoon hyung said that it looked like you and Yn-ie suffered a break up in front of the entire main cast of Jasmine."

Hyunjae threw a displeased glance Younghoon's way; the tall man grinned sheepishly as if saying "what was I supposed to do—lie?" Hyunjae stared down at his lap, fidgeting with his fingers and the watch on his wrist. "It wasn't a break up…"

Kevin made a disapproving noise. "Oh, we know."

Hyunjae glared down at the top of Kevin's head. "Rude."

"Okay, so explain what happened," Juyeon prompted.

The man in question sucked in a breath. Where to begin? Someone muted the TV, so Hyunjae and Younghoon's apartment descended into a coat of silence. Everyone waited for Hyunjae's response.

Hyunjae decided that there was only one logical way to start. He began when he first received a text message from the elusive 'Ellie', your supposed best friend before him. He couldn't believe you had a soulmate other than him, but it only mattered that you two had found each other—not that that mattered—

He went through the entire spiel: Ellie had texted him about some project they worked on together in senior year of high school. He hadn't known why she would even care about something dumb they'd done in high school especially when she was a fourth year in college like the rest of you. But she had asked politely and he wasn't one to just dismiss someone when it was a simple, innocent request. However, when he had finished with this little task, he should have stopped there.

Their conversations eventually escalated from innocent "oh, you remember when…" to "if we meet, you have to agree to hear my side of the argument." He remembered her exact words: "You'll be very shocked to hear the truth" regarding your business with the play. He wanted to look out for you like you always did for him (and screw it, he was curious), so he obliged Ellie and met with her.

That had been one of many mistakes he made. The biggest mistake was what went down at the theater a couple of days ago. And now? He had just made you confess to him, he had broken your trust, and he didn't know how he was going to make it up to you.

(He had to admit though, that once he finally got space to think about what you said to him, there was something about the prospect of you being in love with him that gave his heart a lively kick-start—)

Chanhee reached over Juyeon's head and swatted Hyunjae's neck like there was a very large mosquito there. "You dumbass!"

Hyunjae yelped, his hand reaching up to rub the aching place furiously. "Ow!"

"Deserved," Kevin sang as he tossed a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "That was super not cool, man."

"You don't think I know that?" He rolled his eyes.

"Yes," everyone chorused together.

Cue his next set of eye rolls.

"Hyung," said Sunwoo as he shifted so he faced Hyunjae. His eyes squinted up at him, his curly bangs falling into his pupils as they usually did. "How could you not see that she was in love with you? You have to be blinder than a bat."

"You've been hanging out with SW!Yn too much," Changmin teased.

"Hey, don't bring her into this and taint her good name! Even she saw how perfectly enraptured Yn-ie is."

Changmin opened his mouth to make another unnecessary comment, but Sunwoo slapped a palm over his friend's mouth.

"I guess that leaves one question," said Juyeon, finally, after a long stretch of his silence.

"And what's that, Juyeonie?" Sangyeon asked.

Juyeon pursed his lips together in a slight pout. "What else? Are you in love with Yn, too, Hyunjae?"

Oh—

Hyunjae's thoughts careened to a stop when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He maneuvered around on the couch cushion to retrieve the device, his heart pounding in anticipation—but that emotion was immediately swapped out with utter disdain.

His friends observed this flip with great interest. "Who—"

An indignant spark lit Hyunjae's dark irises as he furiously typed something to the sender and promptly blocked the number.

Jacob and Juyeon, who were able to peer over at Hyunjae's phone screen, both widened their eyes in scandal. Jacob grinned, lifting his hand to delicately hide his snickers. "Well that answers our question."

Hyunjae sulked, swiping through his contacts, then blocking Ellie's number, too. He should have done that so damn long ago.

"It was some guy asking if he knew if Yn was free in two weeks—"

"And she's not," Hyunjae grunted, shoving his phone back into his pocket, then standing up to go get Sangyeon's fried rice in the kitchen. "These fucking guys, man. Like, what the fuck am I gonna do? Hype you up to her? No way in hell—" He scoffed, slapping a spatula of rice into his bowl with a strength that the bowl, rice, and utensil didn't deserve.

He couldn't believe that one stupid, little thing the two of you had done in freshman year of college had led to this spam of dudes flooding his inbox for you. If he had half a mind, he would declare that you weren't on the market anymore and that you weren't even interested in seeing any… body…

The thought marinated in his head for a moment as he slowly chewed the fried rice. Why did he want you "off the market"? You were his best friend, but you weren't his to covet or shield or speak for. You weren't his.

You weren't… his.

"Oh my god, you can actually see the neurons firing in his brain for once."

Hyunjae plopped himself back into his original place on the couch. "I hate you guys."

"So you've realized that you're in love with her?" Younghoon asked exasperatedly, his hands splayed out on his legs like he was begging to the cosmos.

Hyunjae made a face and pretended that his heart wasn't palpitating and that a drop of sweat wasn't dripping down the back of his neck right now. "What? Of course not," he said through a mouthful of fried rice.

One could hear the collective exhale of disappointment all the way to your townhouse.

— ✶

It was Thursday evening when you found yourself walking out of the performing arts hall after yet another rehearsal, and coming face to face with the person who had become one of your greatest problems over the past month.

Your hand stopped in midair from which you were brushing the hair out of your face when you and a young woman made eye contact. She was seated on one of the benches facing the entryway of the performing arts hall, her attention lifting away from her phone and to you. The sky remained alight and streaked in its dazzling sunset colors, and yet, the sight of her made everything feel grayed.

She smiled at you. "Ah, you're done."

Something crawled beneath the surface of your skin. For a second, you thought it was disgust, but upon further thought, it was really something bittersweet. You swallowed, adjusting your hold on your bag strap. "Can I help you?"

"Do you remember me, Yn?"

"Of course, I do, Ellie." How could I forget you?

Ellie's smile shuddered and you suddenly couldn't read her face. It was strange seeing her four years into the future. You remembered catching glimpses of her in the hallways, her sweet smile and button nose, the freckles sprinkled across her cheekbones like kisses from the sun. "I guess that's one thing out of the way."

Her biting words to Hyunjae appeared in the forefront of your mind. "What you said to Hyunjae—"

"Was true," she cut in. "And based on the fact that he blocked me a few days ago, I'm guessing that something happened between you two." Her lips curled upward, "How does it feel to know he actually doubted you? If I'm being honest, it makes me fucking sing, Yn!" There was a shiver-inducing giddiness to her voice and you wondered if this was all a joke. It would be a cruel joke, but anything would be better than this.

Could she see the horror on your face? "Ellie, we were friends," you managed to say.

She pressed her lips together. "We were friends until you decided that we weren't."

"What are you talking about?" You threw back at her. "We drifted apart—"

"You abandoned me," she quipped. The smile was gone now, her mouth set into a taut line. "You left me to rot."

Your heart dropped into your stomach. About a million things flashed through your mind, but most of all, you came to a very fast epiphany: you'd always thought she was happy. "Ellie," you said, slowly, softly, "I'm sorry that you felt that way. Really, I am so sorry."

"I've made sure you feel that way."

"But you should have left Hyunjae out of this."

Ellie laughed and the sound was harsh. "This isn't about your stupid best friend, or whatever. This is about you and me. I can't believe you thought—how could you prefer him over me? Why did you stop talking to me, Yn?"

You were so confused. All this time, you had thought that yours and Ellie's friendship ended on a mutually neutral ground. You thought that you had just drifted away from one another from the eventuality of time. Was that not how she saw it this entire time?

The end of Ellie's question took on a raspy undertone, the gleam in her eyes less so that of anger, but the melancholy underneath. You wanted to make things right, but you didn't know what that was.

When you had yet to say anything except for letting the breeze waft past your face, she let out a scoff. It was a somewhat embarrassed sound, her eyes skittish. "You know that my parents always compared me to you. Constantly. You remember what you said to me?"

You swallowed. "'They can compare all they want, but you'll always be enough for me.'"

"I didn't want to bother you when we 'drifted apart', as you say," she continued on with a huff. "And then I saw you and Hyunjae, and the way you looked at him—god, I knew right away, Yn. And I was so bitter. Just so, so bitter." She shook her head. "I've been thinking about this for a long time."

Dear god, you hadn't known this whole time. You'd wished you had known. You didn't know what you might have done differently—maybe not have been so blind—but… what if you couldn't have saved that friendship? Was this always meant to happen in the grand scheme of the universe's stage?

You made your way toward her and she simply watched as you stopped a handful of paces away from her. “I didn’t mean to drift away from you or to make you feel like I was replacing you in any way.” For a moment, you were quiet, and you inhaled a deep breath to query, "What made you suddenly want to confront me after so long then?"

She peered up at you, a mixture of sadness and something sharper in the reflection of her irises. "You didn't have to keep getting better and showing off. I just got sick of living in your shadow when you weren't even there."

You bristled at that. “What else could I have done? I’m sorry you felt that way, really, but I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders, too. I wanted them to stop expecting more from me, but each time I did something right, they kept pushing for more. And I—”

“I just wanted my friend back!” She exclaimed.

The words died on your tongue, dissipating in the tense air between you two. The fight left you then, seeing the hard break in her expression, a sliver of the girl you remembered from so long ago. What happened to her? She’d been poisoned by whatever feelings were locked inside her, and you supposed that it was only inevitable that those same feelings would one day be unleashed. You wished she didn’t have to confront you this way. "So you thought lying to Hyunjae would have done the trick?" You finally murmured.

"You didn't figure out who's been messing around with your production all quarter?"

The question caught you off guard, but you were quick to catch on nonetheless. Your breath hitched as you stood there, stunned. "That was you?"

A nod.

"All of it?" Disbelief struck you clean across the face and you felt like you'd just been slapped. A new level of anger boiled in your blood; all of those nights you spent creeped out of your mind, the extra stress from all the superstitious bullshit—

"This is our last act," she said, her tongue darting out for a moment. "I don't want anything else from you after this."

You couldn’t believe she would go through all of this trouble—all for what? All to prove what? It was utterly childish, preposterous, dramatic. “Good,” you asserted, as firmly as you could muster, “I don’t want anything from you either.”

And there was a split-second where you saw a crack in her expression, truly. Before, when you’d seen that bit of melancholy seep through, it must have been purposeful. Perhaps it was to draw some kind of sympathy or guilt from you, but after she admitted to doing all of that crap to you and your peers, you weren’t about to lean into that, old friend be damned. Of course you felt bad that she had felt like that for so long. You pitied her. But it didn’t mean you had to forgive her; not for this.

Maybe this was it though: all she wanted from you was for you to feel as helpless as she had, but you simply couldn’t feel that way. All that you could feel was cold fury.

“Fine,” she cleared her throat, straightening. “I hope you learned your lesson.”

You let out a scoff, the sound making her eyelids shudder. Your teeth grated against each other as you closed yours and her “final act”: “And I hope you’ve learned yours. I hope I never see you again.”

You turned brusquely on your heel to walk away before you did anything rash. But a sudden thought appeared on the tip of your tongue, and you found yourself stopping. When you glanced back at her, she was watching you leave with an emotion you couldn’t quite detect. The two of you had been such good friends, and… you really wished you could understand her position better. “I just don’t understand why you went through all this trouble. If you had just—texted me, called me—” You made a gesture with your hand then let the limb fall limply to your side, “You could’ve just said hi.”

You left her behind after that, purposefully this time. Did people like Ellie deserve their chance at redemption? Maybe when the dust had settled, but for now, you hoped she received her due karma.

EPISODE TEN: GOOGLE, DEFINE DRAMATIC IRONY.

THEY said that a terrible dress rehearsal marked a production for a brilliant opening night. As Michael, the wine salesman dude, forgot his fifth line of the rehearsal; as the tech staff in the box forgot their second lighting cue of the night; and as Hongjoong continued to have to fuss over San’s Uncle™ beard for the third time, you were trying very hard to keep that saying in mind.

Weeks had passed—you didn’t know how many, maybe five, maybe two, maybe an entire year—but that entire time, you didn’t feel Ellie’s presence haunting you anymore, nor had you heard from Hyunjae yet. He was busy with his architectural capstone project, anyway, and you felt that you both needed to take this time to yourselves to focus on more important things. (You thought this as if your friendship with him didn’t mean the absolute fucking world, but you were pretty sure you were seconds away from setting this building on fire so—)

The dreaded Tech Week had descended upon the cast and crew of Jasmine. Not only that, but it was also Finals Week, meaning everyone in this room was just as stressed out as they usually were, except, five times more. It made for a great rehearsal, clearly.

“—remember that as soon as she says ‘fine!’, you have to be out here to pull the rug out from beneath her feet,” you instructed the stagehand, who looked a millisecond away from passing out right there on the stage.

When they nodded their understanding, you turned away with a migraine pounding away at your temples. You just had to get through one more act, and you could call it a night. Opening night was literally in four days, and you were trying not to yearn after your best friend and feel guilty about pushing him away—and then there was the guilt that had slowly bubbled up over the past few weeks from what happened with Ellie. Maybe it had been all your fault—

“Yn, your eye is twitching.”

“Huh?” You perked up from where you were seemingly glaring a hole in the ground of the nosebleeds. Younghoon shot you an amused, yet mildly concerned look from within the winds of the stage. “Oh, sorry. Can we take it from the top of act three, please? One more act, people; let’s hang in there.”

That latter bit was more for you.

By the end of rehearsal, everyone was just as happy as you were to head home. Today was Monday, the beginning of the week, and yet you wished it was Saturday already—graduation. Now that was the light at the end of the tunnel.

Younghoon held the door open for you as the two of you exited out the front doors of the performing arts hall. When you murmured a thank you to him, he fell into step with you easily. The walk to the bus station seemed impossibly long with the ache in your legs.

Younghoon released a low-sounding whistle. “So…”

“Hm?”

“Are you coming to Cobie’s surprise birthday party tomorrow? I know it’s finals week and tech week, but it’d be nice to have that little break beforehand.”

Oh, right. Hyunjae’s friend Jacob was having his birthday party—well, it wasn’t him who was hosting, but his girlfriend. She had organized all of it, and had even had the good will to extend an invitation to you. At the time, you couldn’t find it in you to say no, despite the knowledge of your busy month at the forefront of your mind. But even now, you found it hard to really formulate a concrete response. The uneasiness was creeping up on you again.

“I dunno, Hoon…” you said lowly with a wince. “Maybe I should just catch up on sleep, y’know? And plus, I don’t want my feelings for Hyunjae to ruin the mood or anything. I’m kind of a Debby Downer right now,” you laughed pitifully.

Younghoon’s mouth curved into a frown. “Yn, you’re not a downer. You’re stressed and you have a lot of burden on your shoulders, but… I think something carefree will be good for you, no? Maybe you should at least stop by and say hello to people—take advantage of Hyunjae having to be in charge of providing free booze for everyone.”

You glanced up at him, meeting his kind eyes. “I’ll think about it,” you promised. You were probably too tired to think logically about going anywhere else but your bed at this moment.

Younghoon nodded. “Okay.”

As the two of you carried on down the stairs now, the bus stop in sight, you gathered your wits about you. “How is… how is he, by the way?” You asked.

Younghoon peered at you with something akin to gentleness and sympathy. “He’s… I think he’s okay.” He squinted one eye as he looked up toward the night sky, the thoughts meandering about his head. “You just have to give him some time. You know how stubborn he is,” he joked.

You could only give a shallow nod at that.

Not one to let a friend leave him so upset, he nudged you with the back of his hand. “Hey, don’t worry too much about him, okay? You have a lot on your plate right now, and you deserve to have your head in the game, okay? It’s all gonna be okay.”

“You always have such a way with words,” you laughed lightly as you wiped a tear from your eye—whether it was from emotions or just being plain exhausted, you couldn’t tell.

He smiled again then. “If I wrote down these words, I’d be stealing your job, Miss Director.”

Your laugh was a little brighter at that note. “Okay, Actor Extraordinaire. We’ll see about that.”

The two of you shared a laugh, and when you reached the bus stop, Younghoon waited until the bus came by to pick you up. It wasn’t yet deep night, but he was a gentleman all the same. You climbed up into the bus, scanning your transportation card as you went, then sat by a window to wave to Younghoon.

When the bus pulled away from the curb and away into the night, Younghoon pulled out his phone to the text chain with his partner. He’d come to a decision then, and as hungry as he was, he figured he could channel this annoyance into confronting one certain man by the name of Lee Jaehyun.

younghoon’s phone: love, i think i’m going to be late for dinner

beloved mastermind: i’ll save u a seat <;3

— ✶

The lights beneath the swimming pool glowed an ethereal shade of fluorescent blue. It reminded Younghoon of a mermaid's cove with the way the light waves reflected off the ceilings of the building to create scales on the rafters. The emptiness of the indoor swimming pool was offset by the thrashing of flesh against water as a lone swimmer stole lap after lap across the great blue.

Younghoon lowered himself onto a steel bleacher and watched Hyunjae bolt from one end of the pool to the next, hardly taking the time to breathe air, like he breathed chlorine and water instead. The familiarity of the smell—warm stone, pungent chemicals—sent flashes of Younghoon's own days on the high school swim team to his mind.

At last, Hyunjae took his final lap, his breathing coming out labored as he swept a hand up his face and through his hair. His locks slicked all the way back, and his chest rose and fell harshly as adrenaline pumped through his veins and his lungs fought to consume oxygen without asphyxiating on it.

Hyunjae clambered his elbows onto the deck. "How'd you—know I was here?" He managed to say, nodding his thanks as Younghoon handed him the water bottle at the other end of the bench from him where Hyunjae's duffle bag sat.

Younghoon gave a meager shoulder shrug. "I know you too well not to," he said. The two were both swimmers, and where else would swimmers go to put their head somewhere else and to escape the world?

Hyunjae couldn't argue with that.

The two friends were quiet for a minute as Younghoon let Hyunjae catch his breath. There was something troubling about seeing him so tense, even after pumping out so many laps. The exhaustion didn't seem to outweigh the conflict warring in his mind.

Finally— "Hyunjae-ah, what are you doing?"

Hyunjae blinked up at him, perplexed. "Huh?"

Younghoon leaned his cheek against his palm, elbow resting on top of his knee. He fixed him with a stare. "What are you doing?" He repeated.

This time, the message seemed to have been delivered successfully. Hyunjae licked his lips, his gaze averting away from Younghoon. "Did you come here just to scold me?"

"No, I came here to tell you you're being an angsty teen."

Hyunjae scowled, his lips pressed into a pout. "No, I'm not."

Younghoon rolled his eyes just as his stomach grumbled in protest at him not going straight to meet his partner for dinner. Instead, here he was, trying to talk sense to a wall. "You're so childish sometimes."

He quieted. Hyunjae leaned his head against the meat of his forearm, eyes fluttering closed against the warmth of the heated pool deck. "How is she?"

"She's not good, but she's also not bad," Younghoon replied. He sighed, leaning forward onto his forearms for a more comfortable confrontation position. His lips pulled into a line. "Stressed, of course, but I think that was a given."

Hyunjae rubbed his eyes. "I fucked up, Younghoon."

A solemn nod. "I'm glad you see it now."

"This isn't a joke."

"I'm not saying it's a joke."

Hyunjae squinted at him. "Sometimes I don't believe you."

Younghoon smiled cheekily. "Well, sometimes you have to pick who and what to believe."

That hit a nerve, even if Younghoon didn't mean it to. Hyunjae immediately thought of yours and his last conversation. He couldn't get the image out of his head of the look of betrayal on your face when you asked him if he didn't trust you. He'd been stupid to be so curious, but of course he trusted you. He'd always trusted you. Who else could he trust but the very person who always protected him and was by his side? So why did he have to go and be so stupid?

He backed away from the wall for a minute and simply stood in the middle of the shallow lane as if the water could give him wisdom. "I," he began, then sighed, "I miss her a lot. I've wanted to text her, to call her so many times." He smiled, but it wasn't a happy one. "I think I just don't know what I would say."

"An apology would be a good start," suggested Younghoon.

"Right…" That was obvious, and yet, it was always the most difficult step. Would you let him come back into your life after a reveal like that? Feelings were such fragile, fickle things.

His heart sank at the idea of losing you forever though.

One day, she'll drop you, too, those damned words replayed over and over in his head like a broken record. —When she finds someone better… I don't know why she went to you, though. You are awful. I've heard all the stories.

Once upon a time, Hyunjae hadn't always been "awful" or dogged down by other people's negative testimonials about his attitude. So what if he had been "scorned by love" as you so lovingly put it one time? That experience had been enough for him to shut down all access points, keeping you sheltered in with him. It was hard for him to think of wanting to be with anyone else… but you.

He didn't mean to latch onto you so tight, but perhaps he had grown so dependent on you all this time. You had never given him reason to doubt how much you cared—god, why had he been so stupid?

Younghoon watched Hyunjae's inner conflict through the windows to his soul, glowing with the cerulean blue of the chemically altered pool water. "Hyunjae, do you love her?"

Of course he loved you. That was out of the question. But this was a different type of love that Younghoon was referring to, and it called for something much larger in the grand scheme of things.

That kind of love—what a frightening prospect, he thought. But didn't you make everything so much less frightening?

EPISODE ELEVEN: PLACES, EVERYONE!

"YOU stole my boyfriend, by the way." Hyunjae huffed as he set down the last two grocery bags he had helped bring up to the apartment from Juyeon's car.

JC!Yn barely batted an eyelash at him as she swept past to organize the utensils and cups set out on the breakfast table. “You snooze, you lose, Lee,” she teased with a sing-song tone.

From the front door, Sangyeon bumbled in with a clean, crisp white box, as he whistled a happy tune under his breath. JC!Yn greeted him at the entryway, thanking him profusely for picking up the cake, then taking the box from him so she could transfer it to the fridge for safe keeping.

“Chanhee says that he’s bringing his best friend, so he wants everyone to—I quote—‘not be embarrassing’,” Changmin snorted and giggled loudly from the couch where he relayed the information from his texts with Chanhee.

“That’ll be difficult for you,” CM!Yn quipped back so fast that Hyunjae couldn’t even suppress the high-pitched laugh he let out. Not that he wanted to suppress it; he had to admit that Changmin’s girlfriend was just as much a menace as her boyfriend was.

As Changmin’s jaw dropped and he pounced on top of her to tickle her into submission, Hyunjae averted his gaze elsewhere. He pulled his phone out, leaning against the granite kitchen countertop while he read Younghoon’s latest text notifications.

bread face: we’ll be there soon

bread face: i think i saw kevin and jacob a few cars behind us at the intersection, so i’m making haknyeon step on it

hyunjae’s phone: lol i was gonna chastise u about texting and driving hoon

bread face: tch pls, i’m better than that 🙄

bread face: i would at least make yh!yn do my texts for me 🤪

Hyunjae glanced up just in time to see JC!Yn’s front door open to reveal Chanhee and Eric, along with their plus ones. He tongued the inside of his cheek, thinking offhandedly at the fact that so many of his friends had found people to be with. It felt like they were all growing up far too fast; even as a fourth-year in university, it was unimaginable. Where would they all be in ten years? Where would he be?

He hoped, at the very least, that he might see you in his future—one way or another. As long as he could pull his shit together and finally talk to you.

hyunjae’s phone: almost everyone’s here btw r u guys close??

bread face: yeah, pulling up one block over so they don’t see hak’s car

bread face: hey, do yk if yn’s coming today?

Hyunjae’s thumbs hovered over the keyboard, then he typed in the clear answer: no, not a clue. I have a feeling she won’t be here though.

He tucked his phone away, looking over to see that JC!Yn’s roommate, Kei, had just stepped out of her room with a finished “Happy Birthday, Jacob” banner. “Hey, you need help with that?”

— ✶

The party was well under way, and suffice to say, the surprise party had been an entire success. Because Jacob was definitely not a fan of being jumpscared, it was good foresight that everyone was just in sight when he and Kevin opened the door. He had no clue that his partner had organized this for everyone and that everyone else was in on it. (Even Eric was able to keep the secret in the wraps, no doubt with the help of his significant other.) Almost all of his friends had brought along a plus-one, minus the singletons (himself, Juyeon, Kevin, and Sangyeon—though, that was still debatable) and Haknyeon and Sunwoo who’s significant others weren’t too close with the group just yet. It was a marvel that Younghoon’s girlfriend decided to come, too, but she said she would probably leave early anyway.

“You’re so sad-looking,” said Juyeon as he hopped onto the island counter next to Hyunjae. The two of them could scope out the whole apartment from this vantage point; the mood seemed to be at an all-time high, despite it being an incredibly stressful week for everyone.

Hyunjae made an indignant noise and he lifted his plastic cup of soda to his lips. “Pfft. I’m not sad-looking.”

Juyeon gave a meager shrug. “Every time you see someone and their partner, you look like your puppy just got taken.”

“That’s—” he stammered in protest, “—that’s not true. I—I just keep thinking about my arch capstone, that’s all! School is ruining my life.” The lie was so stark that even Hyunje winced to himself.

“Ah, well, I can relate to that,” his friend sighed. The two gazed out at the party, their ears perking up when they heard Sangyeon say something about him and Jacob needing to step outside for Jacob’s birthday gift—whatever that meant. Hyunjae and Juyeon exchanged strange looks with one another, before bursting into laughter.

Not even a few minutes had passed before Jacob and Sangyeon walked back into the apartment with everyone’s curiosity piqued. Jacob had on the best poker face that he could muster, his lips pressed together but a muscle in the corner of his mouth twitching upward like he was either trying not to laugh or smile.

“Well?” Kevin was the first to voice. He, along with everyone else over at the couch, leaned over the back of the furniture, their eyes wide like dogs waiting for a treat. Hyunjae and Juyeon probably looked similar from their perches.

“He asked for proof of my girlfriend,” Sangyeon said as he closed the front door behind him.

Hyunjae snorted, catching a slight glare from the eldest in the room. For however long, their friend group had an ongoing inside joke that Sangyeon pretended to have a “secret girlfriend.” It was only because Sangyeon had never once provided concrete proof, and maybe it was because he purposefully withheld it, but Hyunjae simply couldn’t understand why. Thus, the hilarious teasing of their eldest friend. Nonetheless, Hyunjae and everyone else remained curious as to the truth.

“Well then?” Juyeon pressed, “What’s the verdict, Cobie?”

The smile on his face really couldn’t be suppressed anymore, and it looked so close to a smirk. Jacob grinned, strolling over to the couch to resume his place between his best friend and girlfriend. “No comment.”

The room erupted into a loud groan from seemingly everyone. “What kind of answer—”

Even Sangyeon looked frustrated and his eyebrows furrowed together, paired with a slight parting of his lips. “Birthday Boy has so much audacity today. Dude, I literally showed you—”

At the sound of the doorbell tone, everyone paused. Hyunjae hopped off the counter, chirping, “I’ll get it!”

No one was opposed to Hyunjae opening the door as everyone else engaged in a battle of wits commenting on Jacob's refusal to confirm nor deny the existence of a future Mrs. Lee Sangyeon. Hyunjae reached the front door and peered through the peephole curiously—then stiffened.

You stood on the other side, your hands fidgety as you played around with the little gift bag in your hands, no doubt for Jacob.

He could hardly believe his eyes—you actually came.

He opened the door without much else left to do. Your gazes clashed in the front threshold of JC!Yn's apartment, your breaths leaving your lungs at the sight of the other. Hyunjae swallowed; he hated this tension, hated the way he couldn't just wind his arms around you as easily as he had done before. The palpitations of his heart were teetering on dangerous territory, and he chalked it up to the fact that he was nervous he might be making you uncomfortable.

"Hey, come in," he murmured low but soft, stepping aside to give you space. He barely registered the background noise at this point.

"Thanks," you said back, your voice barely audible. You stepped out of your shoes and nudged them toward the massive pile by the shoe rack, like an ocean of footwear wherein one must play a matching game in order to leave. You coughed, "Uhm, is there a place where I can put this?" You lifted your gift bag half-heartedly.

"Oh, I can put it—" he automatically reached out for it, and when his fingers grazed against yours, the two of you jolted, "—away," he stammered. You let go of it so he could quickly grab hold and make his very awkward escape.

He dipped into JC!Yn's room where all the presents were being stashed, allowing himself to soak in a bit of quiet, even if he could still hear the muffled party just outside the room. That had to be the worst thing ever. Why was he so jumpy around you? It couldn't be that you professed your being in love with him, right? He wished it wasn't like this.

He needed to talk to you, damn it, he needed to fix this—

But when he emerged from the room and into the main living space, he saw you chatting with YH!Yn and Kevin and Changmin. He watched you smile at them and laugh and look way less awkward than you'd been with him just a minute ago. He remembered what this week was, what Friday was.

Opening night: the culmination of months' worth of blood, sweat, and tears.

He'd been there for you since the beginning of it. He couldn't see you fail, and this was the first time he'd seen you not stressed. He didn't have the heart to ruin that for you right now.

So instead of marching up to you and requesting an audience, he made his way over to a few of his other friends to join whatever conversation they were having. He would fix things when you didn't have five thousand other things to worry about. Today wasn't about him, after all.

EPISODE TWELVE: CALL TIME, BABY!

TONIGHT was the night. You thought you were going to throw up, to be honest, and you gently sipped on an iced caramel macchiato to keep your energy up. Perhaps the caffeine was making you just a little jittery, but it was probably the nerves—

"Yn!"

"Yeah, what's up?" You exclaimed, stopping in your tracks and just barely dodging the pair of stagehands hustling a backdrop past you.

Jihoon gestured wide with his arms. "Where are you going? Preshow's in seven minutes."

Oh, right. Your eyes widened in incredulity at your absentmindedness and practically jogged over to Jihoon and the other end of the corridor that led back toward backstage, instead of wherever the fuck you were off to… "Sorry," you muttered, waving vaguely to your head, "dunno what's up with me right now. Is everyone ready? Everything in place?"

He nodded, his eyes leaving you for a second while someone said something to him in his headset. "Ugh, shit. We can't find SW!Yn—ever since she got that boyfriend of hers—"

Your hands flapped between the two of you as you nodded your head vigorously—yeah, it was definitely the caffeine. "She's probably in the sound booth with Chan and the others. She's not that boy crazy."

Jihoon made an unconvinced expression, but bid you farewell nonetheless. He probably knew more than you did, but that was expected since you weren't exactly a long-term staff member working backstage. Jihoon ran a tight ship; there was no way anyone would risk a Jihoon stare by saying hi to their significant other.

You held your head in your hand and set your drink down on one of the stools by the edge of the room so it wouldn't get knocked over. Tonight was Opening Night—the night. Tonight, there was a full house, including your friends and family, everyone at school, and about a dozen or so industry experts. The latter weren't just here for you, but for your acting peers, as well. This was a critical night for everyone. It absolutely had to go right.

You shifted the headset on top of your head and made your way back down the corridor. You were far too antsy to just stay in one spot.

"—can one of you go check Jess's hair and makeup—no, don't just rip it, hon, that's not how it works!" You recognized that anguished cry anywhere, and you peered into the dressing room Hongjoong and a swarm of other busy people were.

"What's going on?" You asked.

Hongjoong's head whipped around so fast you were surprised he didn't get whiplash. "Yn, thank God! You know how to braid?"

"Jess still needs hair and makeup?"

"Yes, one of my people had to call out sick—thanks Yn-ie!" You were already on your way to find where Jess was before he had finished his sentence. You'd hardly even processed the fact that one of the costume staff had to call out sick—that wasn't your main concern right now—you literally had less than five minutes to locate Jess and yeet yourself backstage.

The sound in your headset sparked to life. "Sound to Yn, Yn to sound. Can you hear me?" Bang Chan's voice echoed into your ears.

You narrowly got beheaded by a portion of the wedding arch coming down the hallway. "Loud and clear; fuck, it's a mess back here, Chan." God, your head hurt and the play hadn't even begun yet.

"Hey, man. Take a little breath, okay? Yeah, there you go."

You sucked in a very large breath of air. The adrenaline was pumping through your veins and your hands suddenly felt very cold. "Hyunjae usually helped me through opening nights," you exhaled, your head swerving left and right as you checked each room for Jess's presence. "Where is she?"

"I know, Yn," he said gently. "You can do this though. I know you can. You've been waiting for this for four years—hell, even longer than that."

Your head bobbed up and down as if he could see you—oh shit, was that her you just saw?

"He's probably sitting in one of those velvet seats, absolutely pumped for you."

"Even though I completely fucked up our friendship?" You choked out, flagging Jess down. The poor girl looked frantic as she was trying to finish her stage makeup while also braiding her hair. There was no way she could do both, but you admired the attempt. You began to help her out with her hair as she used her phone as a mirror.

"I don't know what happened, Yn, but he loves you too much to not be here tonight."

It was suddenly very difficult to swallow.

"Preshow in two. Are you ready for this, Director Ln?"

You finished the braid, snapping the elastic with a crisp thwip. Tapping Jess to let her know she was good to go, you made an immediate reverse maneuver to backstage. You took a deep breath in once more—held it—

Get your head in the game. Chan was right—you'd been waiting for this for far too long, worked far too hard. You needed to put faith in your abilities and your peers. "Let's do this."

When you returned to the main backstage portion, you found techies ready to go, as well as your main cast. You caught Younghoon's eyes, silently asking for him to round up Eunwoo while you got Sana and Miyeon. Quickly, the five of you met in the middle.

"Everyone feeling okay?" You asked them, making eye contact with each and every one of them.

There was a buzz about the air, both nervous and excited. You could feel it in the way your hands shook, but you reminded yourself this was what you lived for. Someone, probably Chan, gave you the one minute warning.

"We're gonna do great out there," Younghoon affirmed.

"And when in doubt," Miyeon chimed in, "just improvise."

A small chuckle rang out, and you could hear the countdown in your ear. You had to go out on stage and greet everyone.

"Okay, I got my cue," you said to them. "Break a leg, everyone. Chins up, alright?"

"You too, Yn," Younghoon said to you with a pointed look.

A smile graced your face then, and something settled within your chest—finally—something like a calm. "I will."

— ✶

The only reason why Hyunjae knew how expensive flowers were was because he was well-versed in the nature of presenting you with them after each production you'd completed, whether that be through theater or film. It was all standard practice, and he couldn't believe Sunwoo had the audacity to argue with him and his girlfriend about when to send flowers backstage.

Flowers were to be withheld from reaching the actor, staff, or director until the end of the performance. It was just one of those other superstitious things.

So here he was, sitting shoulder to shoulder between Juyeon and a stranger, with a lap full of vibrant blooms in what he thought were the best seats in the house: the lower balcony seats. They were probably his favorite place to get a proper view of the stage while also not being as high as the top balcony and seeing the top of actors' heads. Maybe it was the child in him that liked anything concerning the balcony.

The play had been going strong for the entire run time. You had come out on stage at the very beginning to welcome everyone and thank them for coming tonight. All the relevant information about the play could be found in the playbills that were handed out at the door, and he had instinctively flipped through each page until he could confirm your name and Younghoon's were there. That had definitely brought a smile to his face.

But even now, as the play was coming to an end and the main characters ended up happy together, Hyunjae still couldn't get the smile off his face.

At curtain call, all the actors lined up on stage to take their bows. When you came out to gesture to your acting peers and take your own bow, everyone in Hyunjae's row, especially himself, stood to give you the standing ovation you deserved. Hyunjae's eyes watered as he whooped and cheered and whistled as loud as he could since the flowers made it difficult to clap.

As he and everyone else sat back into their seats, he had to sneak a hand up to delicately wipe his right eye.

"That's my best friend," he said to no one in particular, his laugh watery but proud.

The woman next to him heard him, though. "She's incredible."

Hyunjae smiled at her, then turned his head toward the stage again where you were corralling the main cast in a massive hug onstage. "I know; she's amazing." I love her.

— ✶

The entire performing arts hall was in a state of utter pandemonium. Both the auditorium and the backstage areas were swarmed with people trying to get out of the building, trying to find their friends, and a butt load of other things. You and all the cast members began helping backstage crew take everything down and lock them up; after all, they would need to be preserved for the next two performances of the show that would carry on through the first couple of weeks of summer. Opening Night was only the "presentation" of your thesis.

Tomorrow was Commencement Day—there were a great handful of you graduating literally tomorrow, including yourself, and so you'd all resolved to go home and save the celebration for another night.

As you wandered through the corridors and dressing rooms, you were sure to congratulate everyone for their hard work tonight. Your cheeks ached from smiling, pride singing through your blood, as well as the lingering adrenaline. But you couldn't deny that you were relieved that the night had gone, and gone well.

Friends and family members of the cast and crew began trickling into the backstage area, so the space to roam lessened considerably.

Unbeknownst to you, Hyunjae had rushed back here faster than his friends could stop him, antsy to finally congratulate you and let you know how proud he was and how great the play was. He craned his head over the sea of people, half his bouquet no doubt squished, but he was still determined.

There—he spotted the blazer you wore on stage—but you were all the way at the end of the corridor. There was no easy way through the people, and who knew if you would leave before he could get to you.

"Yn!" He hollered over all the noise.

Like clockwork, your head whipped around from the stagehand you were speaking animatedly with in search of who had called your name. You locked gazes with him, and there was a softening in your features.

(In a crowded room, all I'd see is y—)

His heart leapt and his legs jump-started into high gear, murmuring out sorries as he maneuvered his way toward you. There were tears pricking at his vision; he never cried for anything or anyone, but you'd been the only one to draw such emotion from him. You were the only one who deserved that emotion.

"Jae, you're here," you breathed out, but then somebody tapped your shoulder and nodded in the direction from which you came.

He saw the concern on your face, the sense of responsibility, and yet the reluctance, as well. "Call me when you're done," he said. He mustered a smile, pushing the flowers into your dumbfounded hands. "Promise to call me."

You managed to nod. "Yeah," you swallowed, "thanks for coming tonight."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

EPISODE THIRTEEN: ALL THE WORLD'S OUR STAGE

A couple of hours later, you'd managed to express your gratitude to nearly everyone and their mother for their work and help, as well as convince Jihyo to answer any calls that came in regarding the play tonight. It was a big ask and you had been reluctant to ask that of her, but you also knew you needed to talk to Hyunjae.

You made your way out the back door of the performing arts hall and into the warm, early Summer night. There weren’t too many people still around since the only handful of people left in the performing arts center were all older staff members and faculty. You spotted Hyunjae leaning against the wall by the staircase, his gaze lifting from his phone when he sensed you coming toward him. A small smile curled onto his lips, and you realized how much you missed the sight of it.

“Hey, sorry you had to wait for a while,” you said as you approached.

He tucked his hands into his pockets. “No, don’t worry about it. The play was—it was incredible, Yn. I’m really proud of you.”

Those words struck you even harder than you imagined him saying he loved you back would have. It meant a lot coming from other people, but it meant the most coming from him. “Thanks,” you rasped, the emotion shining through your voice, and you had to consciously reign yourself in. “I’m really sorry for what happened. I shouldn’t have pushed you away like that, and I know that my confession was kind of unexpected.”

“You shouldn’t have to apologize for that, Yn,” he said gently, his teeth biting down on his lower lip slightly. “I’m the sorry one. I mean, it was so stupid that I even entertained the idea of Ellie being remotely correct. It was a breach of trust and I crossed a boundary that I shouldn’t have. For that, I’m so sorry.”

You motioned to the path leading down the stairs and toward a path even you knew not where it would lead the two of you tonight. Hyunjae heard your silent suggestion, and the two of you began descending the stairs together, side by side. “Maybe I thought I wasn’t ready at that moment,” you confessed, “but maybe it was what needed to be said, you know?”

When you glanced over at him, you found that he was already looking back at you, clinging onto every word that came out of your mouth.

Your heart rate was still rocketing into the atmosphere right now, but you knew that it wasn’t from the play. “I think that I needed to say that—no matter if I was ‘ready’ or not. I don’t think I would have ever been ready, but…” Your foot hit the bottom step of the stairs, and you turned on the ball of your feet to face him, guiding the two of you down the path and away from your normal direction toward the bus station. “Before you say anything, just hear me out, okay?”

Hyunjae gave a nod, and your heart stuttered in your chest as you forged onward. “You don’t have to affirm my feelings if you don’t feel the same way,” you said, returning to your normal position at his side, “I think that was why I’ve been so afraid of telling you all this time—that you wouldn’t feel the same. That, and the fact that I was scared that telling you would absolutely wreck our friendship like it did these past few weeks.”

From beside you, Hyunjae managed to keep quiet, but his voice was also jammed inside his throat. It was filled up with all the things he’d wanted to say to you first, all the things that he wanted to say in response to what you were telling him now.

“Ellie confronted me the week after our fallout.” Hyunjae stiffened—had she done anything to you? “She told me that she was the one behind all the ‘pranks’ or whatever throughout the play rehearsals.”

“Yn, those weren’t pranks,” Hyunjae couldn’t help but cut in, “it was plain sabotage.”

Sabotage. You’d come to fear labeling her actions with that word, simply because you didn’t want to believe that that was her true intention. You struggled to swallow, stopping in the middle of the walkway. The two of you faced each other then, his eyebrows pressed together in shock and anger and every emotion in between. “She told me she did it to get back at me.”

“For what?”

“I abandoned her,” you told him. That emotion on his face shuddered like ripples in a pool of water. “It’s neither of your faults either, but I guess what I thought was drifting away from her and becoming closer to you, she saw in a more malicious light. And she said that she’d been sick of living in my shadow despite not even being in my life, and I’ve just been thinking about that for a while.” You said you’d be there for her, that she’d always be enough for you… how ironic that you’d been the one to drift away.

Hyunjae peered at you, a mess of things going through his head. You couldn’t imagine what he was thinking about right now, but you knew he was never the best at expressing his emotions and vulnerabilities.

It was okay, though. He didn’t have to say anything. “In that moment, I cut off all ties with her,” you clarified, “when she told me it was all her doing. Now, I just feel a little sad; I wished she would’ve just said hi to me.”

Hyunjae wet his lips, grasping your shoulders to get your attention. “You know you didn’t deserve any of that, right? All that shit she gave you? I mean, she pretty much terrorized you, Yn, and I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

You wondered—no, you knew—he was probably beating himself up inside for the argument the two of you had, too. The combined force of all of those tough conversations, as well as the pressure from the play… “I’m okay, Jae,” you reassured him. This time, you even believed what you said. “I’m shaken, no doubt, but it’s something that will pass with time.”

In this lighting, he was beautiful, ethereal. The amber streetlight casted a heavenly glow upon him, and made his eyes glimmer like the moon off a still body of water. You’d written something like that description somewhere in the original script, and you realized just how intimately you’d projected your reality into the lines of that production. Perhaps one day, you’d have the strength to point them all out to him.

A thought suddenly occurred to you in the silence, and your eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Oh my god.”

“What? What’s wrong—”

“I never got to see your finalized capstone project!” You gasped, your hands flying to your mouth in scandal. “Shit, the showcase for it was yesterday, wasn’t it? Oh shit, I’m awful—” For as supportive as Hyunjae had been with your final project, you had neglected to even think about his thesis these last weeks. Guilt coursed through your body in waves and you wanted to screech—

“Hey, honey,” he chuckled good-naturedly, “it’s okay. You were busy; don’t sweat it.” He bit his lip again, but it did nothing to suppress the shit-eating grin on his face. “Wanna go see it now? I’m sure they haven’t cleaned everything up yet.”

Your heart skipped for a new reason now. “You’re gonna break into the architecture building?” You laughed.

“It’s not breaking and entering if you have access,” he said in a “duh” tone, waving around his student ID.

As the two of you made a swift reverse back up the stairs from which you’d come from, you gaped at his ID card in disbelief. “I can’t believe they gave you clearance.”

He wrinkled his nose at you. “Why wouldn’t they grant their top student clearance on his last week?” He sniffed jokingly.

The pairing of dialogue and execution made a giggle sputter out of you, the sound making Hyunjae’s chest feel warm and fuzzy. He hated the tension that had wrapped itself around the bones of his ribcage, but those vines were slowly loosening and blooming into something familiar, and yet new.

The trek to the architecture building was well-worn by both you and him. You hadn’t been by the architecture building in awhile because of your busy schedule, but you used to always pop by to either walk him to lecture or to come visit him while he was working. The building was built in a Greco-Roman style with columns and arches, and beautifully carved marble murals and statues around the perimeter of the roof. You knew that the building style in particular was never Hyunjae’s taste, but you remembered when the two of you had toured the school in your senior year of high school, he had been awestruck nonetheless.

Just as he had said it would, his ID card slid against the panel outside the front doors to the architecture building and came up green.

The two of you, feeling just like you were kids again, giggled as you crept into the darkness of the foyer. Hyunjae grabbed your hand without thinking and dragged you down the right hallway toward one of the larger conference-style classrooms on the ground floor. He didn’t bother turning on any lights in case security came by and saw, but there was a conveniently-placed streetlight right outside the window anyway.

“There’s my masterpiece,” he said quietly, a sort of jitteriness coming through his voice.

You let go of his hand so you could inspect the model he constructed. The feature piece seemed to be the massive clear dome on the top, as well as the smaller, surrounding establishments. “It’s amazing, Jae. This is so cool.”

He almost looked shy as he leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest and watched you. “Ah, thanks. It’s, uh, a proposed model for a new performing arts department.”

Your head turned to him then. “No way.”

“Yes way,” he smiled. “I don’t know if it’ll get taken up by the board or not, but I gave them my whole spiel yesterday.”

“You’re gonna give me the spiel, too, right?”

Hyunjae made a face, feigning reluctance, but you were already dragging one of the chairs over so you could sit for his little presentation. “I mean, I guess I remember enough to do it again.” He took up his rightful place right next to his model, in front you, and cleared his throat to give you his speech.

The speech went wonderfully; you cheered as quietly loud as you possibly could. Your face was split by a bright smile that you were sure was enough to power the lights in this building if you really wanted to. If the board didn’t take up Hyunjae’s proposed new model after that, then you were about to send a strongly worded letter to the dean.

Hyunjae took on a boyish sort of smile after the moment had come and gone. “Hey, you wanna see something cool?”

“Cooler than this?”

“Pfft,” he dismissed nonchalantly, “you flatter me. But yeah, actually. Come on—it’s on the second floor.”

You quickly shoved your chair back into place and followed Hyunjae as he practically ran out of the room and up the stairs to the second floor. He had far too much energy for it being around ten o’clock at night, but when you saw the absolute glow on his face when he took you from project to project, gushing and nerding out about all the clever designs, you didn’t have the energy to even question his energy. There was something utterly contagious about hearing him talk about his major with such passion; you were so glad he had found a home in this field.

When the two of you finally let yourselves out of the architecture building, it was probably around an hour later. Your body ached with exhaustion, but your brain was abuzz with activity. You had missed this, missed him so much. For the first time in a very long time, you had never felt this carefree before.

“Can you believe we’re actually graduating tomorrow?” You asked him as the two of you walked toward the direction of the street your town house was on.

Hyunjae snorted. “No, not at all,” he said with a shake of his head. “Well, I’m actually so glad that I’m finally getting out of here, but it’s kind of scary, too.”

You gave a nod, then tilted your head back to breathe in the comfortable, night air. There were stars up in the sky tonight. “Yeah, I get that. Like, where will we all be, y’know?”

“Right.”

“But I think that the unknown in general will always be scary,” you added. “In the end, we’ll always know that everything will turn out okay.”

“And if it’s not okay, then it isn’t the end yet,” Hyunjae replied with a pointed look.

“Exactly.” You had a few options lined up for you after graduation, but you’d told yourself beforehand that you would deal with all of that after commencement day. After months and years of working nonstop, you deserved a little rest before fully stepping into the adult world. Wow, what a scary thought, indeed. "I'm proud of you, Hyunjae."

He had to stop himself from breaking down right there. "I'm proud of you, too, Yn."

The walk home was quiet, but it was as if a layer of film had been laid over just you and Hyunjae. The white noise of the night became somewhat calming for you, and you felt yourself sinking into a state of serenity. You had confessed your love for him already—he finally knew how you felt—but funny enough, that was freeing.

That had been your biggest secret, and finally being able to lift that burden from your chest was… it was good. Everything was good now.

Hyunjae softly said, "I know that you probably have so much to do after graduation tomorrow, but we've always wanted to go on a road trip cross-country."

When you looked up over at him, he could read the excitement glittering in your irises. "You're right! Man, that conversation was so long ago. I mean… I won't be so busy after graduation, not immediately. I want time to enjoy freedom with you," you laughed, lightly punching his shoulder.

He chuckled, your words soaking into his skin like sunlight on the first warm day after a harsh winter season. "I think it'd be nice, just the two of us." He couldn't wait.

There was an earnestness in the way you looked at him then. His thoughts had been all over the place before, but now, they were beginning to clear. "I think that'd be nice, too."

Your townhouse was now in sight, and a distinct feeling of anxiety rose in his throat. It was bitter-tasting, the way he dreaded leaving you for the night even if he would most definitely see you again tomorrow. He didn't know why inviting himself in like he usually did was so difficult now, but suddenly, you were both standing in the middle of the entryway and you were getting your keys from your bag.

It was late; he shouldn't keep you up. You'd had a long day.

"—you tomorrow then. Thanks for tonight, Jae."

He wrapped his arms around you just as you hugged him, his face pressed against the crown of your head and yours pressed into his shoulder. He didn't want to let go, but it was late—

"Good night," he said, nearly inaudibly.

"'Night," you said, going into the house and closing the door.

Maybe it was the physical, literal visual of you closing the door on him, but the epiphany hit him like a bus.

EPISODE FOURTEEN: AAAND THAT'S A WRAP!

YOU were about five steps from dropping to the floor and sleeping for about five years. Of course, you could not do that because you literally had to wake up to graduate tomorrow, but right this moment, you were so excited to just face plant into your pillow.

Tap!

The first time, you hadn't even heard the tiny noise as you shuffled into your attic bedroom and set your bag on the floor at the foot of your bed.

TAP!

Actually, you hadn't even heard it the second time—

BONK!

"What the…" Your head whirled around toward the window. You could have sworn you heard something hit the window pane. Cautiously, you walked up to the glass and peered out into the darkened street. It was a little difficult to see given the contrast between the light of your bedroom, the dark of night, and the fogging acrylic pane—

You nearly screeched as a small pebbled hit the window, right where your face would have been. What the fuck—?

Immediately, the hairs on the back of your neck stood up. Could this have been Ellie trying to spook you again? No way, right? Plus, wasn't Hyunjae just walking by?...

Oh, wait.

With a huff of indignation, you wrestled with the latch on the window pane just as another tiny rock came flying at the glass. "Hold your horses," you muttered, finally managing to haul the dusty window up. You only ever really opened this window during the warmer months, and so you hadn't used it since probably late fall quarter.

You stuck your head out the window, and surprise surprise, Hyunjae was tossing another piece of ammo up and down in his palm, down at street level. "What is wrong with you?" You stage whispered.

His mouth curved into a frown, head tilting, eyebrows furrowing. "What?"

"What," you repeated firmer this time, "is wrong with you?"

"I needed to get your attention," he shrugged.

"You couldn't just text?"

"Isn't this what Romeo did?"

Clearly, someone hadn't been paying attention when you were studying for your classes on Shakespeare in both high school and second year of college. "No," you quipped, "and Romeo was stupid."

Hyunjae sighed, reaching up to cup the back of his neck, dropping the pebble in his hand to the ground. "Okay, so maybe I'm not some Romeo—" You weren't quite sure where he was going with this.

He started walking around, pacing the sidewalk in front of your townhouse since he couldn't stand directly below the window (your roommate would kill him if he killed her azaleas). For a moment, you were ready to go down there yourself and shake the words from him, but it seemed he was able to snap himself into focus.

"I just… it's taken me a long time—god, it always takes me a long time to come up with the words for this type of stuff," he stumbled over his words, and you felt yourself grow increasingly tender. He was never good at wearing his heart on his sleeve. "And my friends have been saying it this whole time—hell, I've probably been aware of it unconsciously this whole time, too! But you know how I am. I'm too damn stubborn to cave, even to myself."

You let him continue on without breaking his monologue. Though you couldn't be too sure what this was, your heart still galloped in hope.

"Yn, I'm—" he said, head tilting back to meet your eyes so you could see those beautiful irises of his, "—I'm in love with you, too."

This was really happening, huh? Your fingers curled around the window sill and you opened your mouth in an effort to say something, but then you closed it. The words and the thoughts were there, but it was so foggy in your mind that you couldn't even string the words together yourself either.

You watched the hope, the light, gradually fade from his expression, even if he wasn't actively trying to show it. "Please tell me to go home if you're not gonna say anything," he said to you next. "I know you're tired, but god, I just stood here and realized I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't tell you. I know it's selfish, but…" He lifted his hands in sort of a helpless gesture, his hands then falling limp at his sides.

Finally, you found your voice. You cleared your throat, then asked quietly, albeit a tad nervously, "This—this isn't just because you feel bad about what I said about not reciprocating, right? I mean, higher levels of excitement and arousal can be misattributed to feelings sometimes—"

Hyunjae shook his head. "Dear god, no. I've just been… I've just been really stupid, so, uhm, maybe I am like Romeo?"

You fought the smile on your face, but it seemed you lost the battle. "Silly goose," you teased, laughing as you shook your head. "You ain't no Romeo, Lee Jaehyun, but I've never wanted anyone but you anyway."

He broke into a laugh at that, the sound echoing in the streets, and it sounded like, if one could bottle up pure delight and release it to the world. "You're so much better at this than me."

"Clearly."

"Well," he bit his lip, his smile impish, "can I kiss you to make up for it?"

Oh, there went your heart—there it went, carrying you down the stairs and out the door—you would have leapt out the window if you were physically able (you weren't). Your heart carried you all the way outside again until you arrived in your best friend's arms, his face, his smile illuminated in the soft glow of the streetlight.

And he held you so tight, you couldn't tell if that beating at your chest was his heart or yours. The two of you wasted no time in pressing your mouths to the other, tasting the other's smile in one more way than you'd ever done before.

It felt, at that moment, that this might have marked act three of one part of your life—but act one of the next was just beginning.

Perhaps it was true then: when it counted, you always went back to your first love.

a/n: heyy thank you for reading thru!! i hope u enjoyed and if u did, pls do consider commenting, reblogging, or sending an ask :] we do love a bit of humility in the end ayo :3 the original plan is to go for sunwoo's next o7

permanent taglist: @tayunji @im-a-big-mess @honeyhuii @crazywittysassy @seomisaho @stopeatread @enhacolor @rnjfy @jaehunnyy @kpopjackie @spiderrenjunfics @soobin-chois @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l @mingiholic @ethereal-engene @ja4hyvn @vatterie @yogurteume @justalildumpling @hyunjaespresent-deobi @hongyangi @pxppxrminty @nerdypastacalzonespy @zhaixiaowen @wtfhyuck @jcmdoll @kflixnet

anr taglist: @oi-miya @loveliestfelix @sickvision @jaerisdiction @stealanity @magnificentjudementmoneyhands @inthesunnn @igotkpoopsss @letsnotdoanything @sodafy @dajanxekiwi @sseastar-main @moonyswolf @sleepymoon27 @floatingpluto @fictionlover100 @winterchimez @zlebooks @mcu-incorrect @moontyuns @blessedsunoo @elljj @softie00 @ohmykwonsoonyoung @makgeolli_jw @quill-ink

#the boyz x reader #lee hyunjae x reader #hyunjae x reader #the boyz drabble #the boyz drabbles #the boyz fanfic #the boyz imagines #the boyz scenarios #the boyz oneshots #hyunjae imagines #hyunjae scenarios #hyunjae drabbles #hyunjae oneshots

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juyeonszn · 1 year ago

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I WANNA TIE THE KNOT

PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader

WORD COUNT 1.70k

GENRES fluff ﹒smut

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, established relationship, it escalates pretty fast ngl, fingering but there’s honestly no real foreplay, u tie hyunjae up with ribbon, dry humping, unprotected sex (wrap before u tap besties), cowgirl position, marking lowkey, scratching, hyunjae is a master at pillowtalk, creampie :P

SUMMARY that coquette bow trend on the internet really isn’t for the faint of heart. at least, that’s what you think when you decide to do it with hyunjae.

MORE 😂😂😂🔫 anyway. i actually wrote this in one sitting. in one night. bc i was insatiable for the coquette trend after a Very Passionate discussion with @kimsohn and @zzoguri <3 delusional sapphics 1, 2, and 3 back at it AGAIN! if u noticed, all 3 of us wrote something involving these godforsaken bows. this fic was a long time coming seeing as i wrote it a month ago but i remembered it was valentine’s day so,,,, here u go! pls dont forget to reblog if u enjoyed <3

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs @itsbeeble @zzoguri @deoboyznet @cloverdaisies @vernyangel @ericlvr @sunwooverse @kimsohn

“Can we try this?”

Hyunjae raises an eyebrow at you when you shove your phone in his face, scooting up higher from where you were laying on his lap. He watches the video with mild amusement.

“You want to tie a bow around my bicep?” He asks you, as if your request was so far-fetched and out of the ordinary. He had nice arms, he’d look cute with a ribbon wrapped around it. The whole coquette vibe matched well with his pretty face.

“Yeah, why not? It’s a cute trend. And at least I’m not suggesting the one where I tie your mouth shut,” you rest your cheek on his chest, blinking up at him with hopeful eyes. “Please, Jae? For me?”

It’s a little comical when you physically see the war waging in his head. He wants to decline, thinks the idea of you putting one of your ribbons around his fucking bicep is kind of stupid, but he could never say no to those eyes. Lee Hyunjae was a weak, weak man.

So he agrees.

Next thing he knows, you’re filming him flexing with the cute little bow on his arm to post on your social media. He should feel silly, standing still so you can record the perfect shot, but he doesn’t. You look so cute with your tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth, he feels his mind straying from the original plan.

He wraps his arms around your waist when you go to edit the video, preparing to post it publicly. You squirm as his lips make contact with the sensitive spot below your ear, kissing tenderly and sweetly. “Jaehyun….”

Your warning tone does not dispel his efforts to distract you, the tips of his fingers dipping below the waistband of your sleep shorts. The pads drag along your hip bones while his mouth travels lower on your neck, nipping at the soft skin visible beneath your top. “Yes, my love?”

“Don’t fucking ‘my love’ me right now,” you whine, craning your neck to the side to give him more access to the surface. “You know what you’re doing.”

“Is it working?” Hyunjae teases, thumb applying the slightest amount of pressure on your clothed clit. “Are you gonna let me fuck you with these pretty bows on?”

The groan you release is guttural, because god your boyfriend knew how to turn you on like a damn light switch. Your eyelids flutter shut and your head falls back on his shoulder, phone slipping out of your grasp and onto the floor. His finger moves in tight circles on the bundle of nerves, cupping the rest between the apex of your thighs. Fuck, he was starting to get the better of you.

“Y-Yes, but on— mmm— on one condition,” you force yourself to stay steeled, keeping your voice as stable as possible.

“And what is that?” Hyunjae nibbles your earlobe, teeth grazing the shell and sending goosebumps all over the expanse of your skin. His ring finger presses up on your entrance over your dampened underwear, making you clench around nothing.

Oh he was a dead man. You were going to make him pay.

“You w-wear the ribbons,” your breathing hitches. “Let me— let me tie you up. I’ll make it worth your while, Jae. P-Promise…”

He halts his motions, like he’s contemplating your words carefully. It’s not like much would change, to be honest. Hyunjae would still be the one in control after a certain point. You just wanted the excuse to bind the smug motherfucker for once. And to keep the bows on him, but around his wrists this time.

Hyunjae retracts his hands from your shorts to remove his shirt, the heat radiating against your back from his bare torso. Your chest heaves up and down as you watch him climb back to the head of the bed, sweatpants low on his hips. It takes a whole fucking lot of self restraint not to jump his bones then and there, but you manage, straddling his waist so you can tie his wrists to the bed posts with your pink satin ribbon. Your hands are shaky, like your breathing, but he doesn’t point it out, letting you have your fun.

A low grunt escapes his lips when you pull on the fabric, ensuring it’s tight enough to hold him still but loose enough not to leave a mark. It doesn’t help that he can feel you pulsating through your sleep shorts onto his abdomen, his muscles contracting underneath you.

You aren’t really sure if you can even keep up your own act, grinding down on his lap like a bitch in heat. It’s embarrassing how easy it is for him to work you up without so much as touching you. You knew if you didn’t stop now, you’d dry hump him until you were a quivering mess, fully clothed and all. Hyunjae knows you’re needy, too, the corner of his lips quirking up.

“Can we— god— can we just s-skip the foreplay?” You whine into the crook of his neck, hooking your fingers into his sweatpants. “Want you inside me already…”

“Of course, baby, you know I’ll never say no to you,” he coos, mouth finding yours to kiss you slowly, gently, passionately.

You push his pants and underwear down in one go, using your feet to kick them away so you can undress yourself as fast as possible. Your desperation is too strong to pretend it’s not there, so you give into your own carnal desires. Hyunjae hisses when your cunt hovers over his cock, so slick that it doesn’t take long for him to slip inside completely.

Every time you have sex with him, you feel so full, the weight of his cock so deep in you that you see stars well before he’s even moved. You support yourself with a hand on each of his shoulders, lips still molded with his as you begin to bounce meticulously. Your moans are muffled with his kiss, practically impaling yourself on his dick.

Your hips roll experimentally, throwing your head back with a drawn out moan and your nails clawing down his chest when he hits that particular spot inside your pussy. Hyunjae lets out a sound akin to a strangled moan, wanting nothing more than to get his hands all over your body so he can fuck you six ways to Sunday.

He bends his knees to make it a bit smoother for you, relishing in the way you’re losing yourself to your pleasure without him having to do a single thing. You’re just rutting against him at this point, legs beginning to give out this early.

“Don’t— mmm— Hyunjae, I can’t— ‘s too much,” your speech is already slurred, words blurring together and making hardly any sense.

“Let me get out of these, baby,” he tugs at the ribbons. “I’ll fuck you so good, my love. I’ll give you— fuck— what you want.”

You nod frantically, not trusting your voice to say anything remotely coherent. Thankfully, Hyunjae takes note of the lack of strength you currently have, not expecting you to untie the knots on his wrists without struggle. You watch with heavy lids and he pulls harshly, tearing the satin binding him to the bed frame. So much for them being secure…

Your top half collapses into his chest and he grasps at your waist roughly, having half the mind to flip you over and pin you to the mattress. Instead, he presses up into you, slow at first so he can regain his bearings after being tied up, and then he’s bucking up into your pussy like a jackrabbit.

“Thought you could take me—“ he cuts himself off with a groan. “Thought you could take me all by yourself like a big girl, huh?”

Whining in response is all you can do, almost on the verge of tears. The sounds of your cunt sucking him in, squelching echoing around the bedroom, are nearly enough to knock you over the edge. The coil in the pit of your stomach stretches more and more, teeth sinking into his collarbone and marking up his supple, sweaty skin like it was your day job. His blunt nails dig into the fat of your hips as a means of grounding himself, holding back from finishing before you because you were his top priority.

Your nimble fingers sneak between your bodies to massage your oh-so-sensitive clit, ring and middle digits working at double their usual speed. Hyunjae stares at you with hearts in his eyes as you try desperately to get yourself off. He thinks you’re gorgeous every second of every day, but for some reason, you look fucking breathtaking right now.

“My pretty girl, taking it like a champ,” he grits his teeth. “You love when I fuck you like a pornstar, don’t you?”

It’s when he connects your lips in a kiss so sweet it puts all the others to shame and so polar-opposite to the filth the two of you were committing, that you cum without warning, velvety walls constricting around his cock. Your head is empty and your vision goes white for a moment, static ringing in your ears. He follows immediately after, moaning into your mouth as he does so. You swallow the noises while your breathing stutters, the sensation of him filling you up with all he can give blindsiding your senses.

You stay sandwiched together as you both calm down, tired and achy from such strenuous activity. When you stop to think about the cause of these events, you snort until it morphs into an uncontrollable laughter. (Then you wince because Hyunjae’s dick was still inside of you.)

“What’s so funny?” He furrows his eyebrows, making no effort to move.

“That fucking bow trend led to one of the best orgasms of my life,” you’re still laughing, chin on your hands, which are folded over his chest. “It’s so stupid.”

“The bows are cute. Maybe you should let me try tying you up with them next time.” Hyunjae pecks your forehead, running his fingers through your hair.

“Trust me,” you giggle, a yawn threatening to push past your lips. “There will definitely be a next time.”

#deoboyznet #the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #the boyz hyunjae #tbz hyunjae #lee hyunjae x reader #lee hyunjae smut #hyunjae x reader #hyunjae smut #juyeonszn

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letteredwings · 3 years ago

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Because Of You | L.HJ

The Boyz Hyunjae x Fem!Reader

And they were roommates... except that isn't how it is at all. If only Hyunjae could realise that your heart didn't beat for your roommate Changmin, if only he could realise that it never did.

Because of you, his heart is in disarray.

Listen to: Monsta X - Because Of U

Contains: Fluff, angst; poor jealous Hyunjae, sad and insecure reader (sexual innuendos, alcohol, swearing) | Exclusive traits: mentions of blushing, height differences, certain body parts maybe and hair that can tangle | AU: Romance, friends-to-lovers, slice-of-life, Slowburn | W.C. 21.1k+

A/N: Hi, hello, this is very self-indulgent haha so sorry if you aren't me (a January baby). I know it's so odd to have a practically new years fic that is very wintery in spring, but we move. Enjoy <3

The period following Christmas and New years brought about many mixed feelings; the depression of an empty bank account, the dullness of streets mute of christmas lights, the struggle with overindulging in chocolate(though that’s an all year round struggle in all honesty), the fact that life had now restarted its cog of routine work, eat, sleep, repeat. But, it was January and for you, there was something more special to you than Christmas or the celebration of New Years to look forward to; it was the month of your birthday.

You spent the last week off from work in the cold and bitter days of January wrapped up in the warmth of a thick duvet, oversized woollen lined jumpers and left over chocolate within arms reach at all times, recovering from both an alcohol induced and food overload hangover.

As you stretch out your limbs, your fluffy sock clad foot peeking out from the covers, you felt the subtle thud of someone's weight landing beside you. The heavy smell of a certain someone’s grandma’s cinnamon and sugar cookies wash over you, your body turning towards your roommate, Changmin, who has buried his head into your spare pillow and shows no sign of moving.

“Min.” Your voice hoarse and thick with sleep, poking his side and bringing a small smile to your lips when he flinches from your touch. He mumbles unintelligibly and sleepily into the sheets and a glance at the clock high on your wall shows that the time is still early (despite nearing lunchtime) for holiday-mode Changmin.

You let the silence linger longer, closing your own eyes in peaceful bliss and relaxing further into your bed, bringing your legs near your chest on your side and burrowing your head into the tops of your duvet. You almost feel sleep seeping through your being again, that is until, your oh so lovely roommate utters something that has every part of you on alert.

“Hyunjae’s coming over.” Is all he simply had to say to have your heart racing and panic running through you. Like clockwork, mere seconds after he’s informed you of the fact, the seasoned holiday christmas jingle rings out through your apartment, barely muffled by your bedroom door and causes Changmin, with a shit eating albeit tired grin to spring up and rush out of your room toward the door before you can so much as utter the word shit.

The faint voice of one Lee Hyunjae carries to your room and you softly groan as the sweet like honey voice after all these damn months stirs a swell of emotions in the pits of your stomach as if it's the first time you’re hearing him all over again.

“She’s still in bed, c’mon.”

You sit up suddenly.

Changmin would not.

No, he’s not that mean.

He wouldn’t.

Every minute detail of yourself is suddenly being scrutinised in your head, things that normally wouldn’t even matter in the comfort of your own home, but now you’re thinking of how your pyjamas are all wrinkly, of how twisted and tangled your hair is, the fact that you haven’t even brushed your teeth yet and you consider racing out of bed toward the bathroom, but of course Changmin is that mean and he did in fact bring Hyunjae to your bedroom, and God please don’t smell my wretched breath from the door.

Hyunjae trails behind Changmin, with his beanie covering the tops of his ears and his plump round cheeks flushed a pretty pink, no doubt from the cold outside. He’s taken off his shoes and you suppress a smile seeing his princess socks gifted by a close friend in jest that Hyunjae can at times seem like one (which you completely disagree with— he’s more of prince in your eyes), his dark jeans are slightly baggy at his ankles and the thick white jumper he wears makes him look nothing short of an angel.

So simple, yet so flawless you swoon.

Changmin flops back onto your bed, beside you in complete comfort and probably a smug look hidden in your duvet, leaving Hyunjae standing unsure at the door.

You smile, finally finding your voice amongst your erratic heart. “Hey, Hyunjae.” You try clearing the roughness from your throat, offering a small smile to Hyunjae who’s brows slightly furrow, softly uttering a hi before looking at Changmin.

“You sleep together?” He questions, a finger hanging lamely in the air when he points toward the boy in question.

“Oh, he just likes crashing here sometimes. My bed is more comfortable apparently.” You laugh.

“It really is hyung! Sit down.” Changmin finally moves so that he can jump up and literally drag Hyunjae towards your bed. He pushes him to sit on the side, Hyunjae’s eyes widening, back stiffening into the awkwardly straight position he chooses to sit in. He’s even more unsure now, eyes perusing your room, the belated realisation that he had never in fact been in your room.

Then, a bitter after fact drifting in his head, but Changmin has.

Just as awkward, you shift up your bed, bringing the duvet under your chin and leaning back against your headboard, attempting to subtly take in Hyunjaes side profile.

“So, hyung! It’s this beauty's birthday soon and I know you came over to try that new game, but” he prolongs with shining eyes and a finger held up, “this one has agreed to cook,” he holds his finger toward you now, knowing that protests were about to fall from your lips, “and by the way her cooking is to die for honest to God better than sex,” he adds as an afterthought, “But I digress! I thought you could help me plan something for my sweet angel.” His hand reaches out to pinch your cheek, the move both annoying you and bringing an embarrassed warmth to your cheeks.

You squint your eyes at Changmin, having no clue what game he’s playing, asking Hyunjae to help with your birthday plans.

“I’m sure he has better things to do Min, I mean-”

“I’m more than happy to help.” Your eyes shift to Hyunjae’s quickly, and you wish they hadn’t because his eyes are so dark and certain, a strange aura being exuded from his being the longer your eyes are locked to his and with a small intake of breath, “in fact I insist.”

Hyunjae finds himself determined to make your birthday amazing, especially as he mistakes the redness staining your cheeks for a swooning blush caused by Changmin.

—

It wasn’t long before Changmin had ushered you out of bed, urging you to go look presentable and to get your cook on ASAP.

You just finished putting cream on your face when you walk out into the open spaced living room to find both men lounging around the kitchen island on the far side of the room.

“Oh babe! Wait till you hear what we’ve been cooking up for you.” You grin, Changmin’s enthusiasm as infectious as the endearing grin on his face.

“Oh pray, do tell honey.”

Hyunjae feels the tips of his ears burn hot, silently taking in the exchange and watching you walk around the island, ruffling Changmin’s hair along the way before opening a cupboard to take an assortment of spices and herbs out. Hyunjae didn’t like to admit it, much less feel it, but he was rattled. The casual use of terms of endearment has a little green eyed monster threatening to make an appearance, a small, yet painful clench of his heart making him want to get out of his seat and cradle you in his arms.

But, he had no right, he realised, and instead willed away those ugly feelings brewing inside of him and calmed his mind and his heart.

“Well,” Changmin began, gaining both yours and Hyunjae’s avid attention, “Hyunjae reminded me of when you got drunk at that festival and tripped over a pothole-”

“Get to the point please.” You huff, clearly embarrassed from the memory, even more so that Hyunjae remembers it. Hyunjae’s lips twitch into a small smile, watching the gloom and clear want to move on from the memory etch onto your face, finding your expression cute.

“Anyway, he said that even though you were limping and crying and— ”

“ — Changmin!”

“— drunkenly insisting to go back to the tent forever, there was that one DJ that you just went crazy for and stayed to dance.”

You smile, with a roll of your eyes, recalling exactly who he was talking about.

“Anyway,” Hyunjae continues, catching your smile, “I happen to have a friend who is close to Sangyeon and I’m sure I could get you a hook up for your birthday.”

The squeal — more like scream— you release echoes throughout the apartment, making Changmin wince, but you don't care, literally jumping around and releasing excited squeals.

“No WAY! Are you serious? Please tell me this isn’t a joke, because if it is, that's mean and I will cry.”

Hyunjae chuckles, halting your freak out over your favourite DJ, to instead freak out inside over how beautiful his frickin 'chuckle is, I mean what the hell.

“It’s not a joke, please I wouldn’t do anything to make you sad or cry.” Despite the lighthearted tone in which he spoke, the underlying sincerity had your heart skipping several beats and your gaze lingering on him for far too long.

You clear your throat, looking away when Hyunjae’s gaze catches yours. “We-well, thank you so much Hyunjae. That’s the best gift ever.” You finish quietly, turning toward the fridge to distract that little moment you just had.

“I knew hyung would be the right man for the job.” Changmin sat feeling proud of himself, especially after catching that little moment between you both. If they don’t get together after this, I’m going to kill them both, he thinks.

“Well, I don’t know about that…” Hyunjae’s hand scratches awkwardly at the back of his head, feeling weird about whatever had just happened. “Anyway, I was thinking about food too… Chanhee would probably help out. I’m sure he would give us a good deal if he were to cater. Plus I kinda think he’d be mad if we got someone else.” He adds with a grin.

You felt so grateful, smiling gently, “Thanks Hyunjae, I really appreciate that.” thinking of how kind and thoughtful and caring this man was and how unfair it was that he was just that perfect and not yours.

—

The rest of the morning and into lunchtime was spent with ideas being thrown back and forth and the smell of your cooking lingering in the air. You caught Hyunjae’s gaze on the stove multiple times, his throat bobbing with his heavy gulps, or licking his lips. Hyunjae was a good eater and hungry Hyunjae is just damn adorable.

So when you announce that food’s ready, he’s the first to stand and just as quick to shift through your cupboards and drawers for plates and cutlery, setting out the table as if it were something he did at your place all the time. And that small moment allowed a pathetic yearning image to form in your head of you cooking and Hyunjae setting the dinner table every night and wow, you have to stop doing this to yourself.

Changmin pulled up a seat in the middle of the small table and you and Hyunjae sat opposite of each other at the heads of the table. Like the heads of a household. Okay,stop, stop.

Changmin gets out the dish mats just as your mitted hands bring the deep dish over. Between the three of you the side dishes and rice are placed on the table and by the time you have all served the food, silence washes over everyone realising just how hungry you all are.

“So good.” Changmin suddenly moans after scoffing spoonful after spoonful of food in his mouth.

“I know how to please.” you grin, adding a wink.

Hyunjae's eyes widen to the size of saucers for two reasons. 1) Did you just make a damn sexual innuendo at fucking Changmin? 2) He was currently choking to death.

You and Changmin look at Hyunjae for mere seconds in shock before rushing from your seats. Immediately your palm is slapping down on Hyunjae's back, while Changmin in panic grabs Hyunjae's juice from the table to force feed him the damn thing. You grow more worried, not even having time to admire the firm and wide back muscles of your crush, because hey, he was about to die!

He continues to cough harshly, all the while Changmin has spilt bright purple juice over Hyunjae’s (previously) white jumper.

Hyunjae finally raises his hand, stifling his harsh coughs to look up at the both of you with teary eyes, looming over him. After a few deep breaths he manages a sheepish smile before looking down at himself to see the bright purple stain.

"O-oh that'll stain, let me wash it! Min, go grab him a shirt."

Changmin rushes off and during that time, your eyes return to Hyunjae who raises to a stand whilst pulling up his jumper, baring the toned skin of his belly and a happy tra- wait why is he stripping? What? What?

Your eyes widen and by the time your inner panic has settled, he has pulled his jumper over his head, standing before you in all his topless glory, holding his jumper out for you to take while you stand numb, eyes practically devouring the sight of him.

"Ummm?"

Your hands quickly snatch the jumper, spinning on your heels and rushing toward your washing machine, completely avoiding Hyunjae’s gaze when you shove it inside.

"Babe, all of my shirts are too small." Changmin appears, whining as he holds up one of his slightly bigger tees against Hyunjaes torso.

"I might have something." You mumble, eyes on the floor as you rush back to your bedroom. Hyunjae blinks after you, watching you disappear down your hall, Changmin standing there with his much too small shirt in hand.

When you return, your eyes are awkwardly set to the side as you thrust a very large hoodie towards Hyunjae. As he takes it, Changmin gapes at you, or rather the hoodie and starts to whine. "THAT! IS MINE!"

You turn, pouting and whine back in the same tone as Changmin. "But I liiiiike it."

As Hyunjae pulls it over his head, he eyes you with a barely noticeable frown. She wears his clothes? It’s seems stupid. It is stupid. The way he feels at the thought of your frame all snuggly and warm in another man's clothes when he doesn’t even have the courage to tell you how he feels about you, that he feels this way despite having no right to tell you to not wear Changmin’s clothes. And of course, it has to be Changmin. His best friend. Your damn roommate and best friend too. The boy who could make the colour black look like sunshine. How was he meant to compete with that?

During the time he had been mulling over his thoughts, Changmin got to cleaning the split juice and you were hovering by the washing machine, cheeks tinged red. And if Hyunjae was anything like Changmin, a tease, he would have gathered that the flush is due to the permanent image of his body ingrained on your brain and that it won’t disappear and so, if he was anything like Changmin, which for the first time in his life he wishes he was, he would have turned that shade of red deeper with a smirk and a whisper of you can see the real thing instead of thinking about it, angel.

But, he isn’t anything like Changmin. Anything like what he thought you wanted. So, he remains as quiet as you.

Later, when Hyunjae eventually leaves your apartment, Changmin is quick to give you a shit eating grin, while you give him a look that could kill.

“I can’t believe you.” Changmin only rolls his eyes and you huff, adding, “actually I can. You’re such a little shit.”

Once again Changmin rolls his eyes at you, casually slinging his arm around your shoulder and pulling you over to the sofa where you both heavily drop your bodies with a sigh. “Something had to be done. You both clearly like—”

“—He doesn’t like—”

“You’re so stupid.” You turn your head to gawk at him.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard. Thick as shit. Dumb as… bums?” When you give him a look he only shakes his head, hand swiping through the air dramatically. “It doesn’t matter. The point is. He likes you. Just wait and see, okay? It’s all part of my plan.” You groan at that, knowing full well how Changmin's plans go. “Don’t groan, you know they work… eventually. Anyway, the point is that you both will get to spend more time together since he’s gonna be helping and I just think it’s a good chance to get closer and maybe confess.” Changmin whispers the last word, knowing how you feel about confessing. Feeling you tense up beside him he rubs your arm, bringing you closer against his body until your head falls into the crook of his neck. “I know it sounds scary, but baby you’re not gonna get anywhere like this. He could be the one y’know? And listen. Hyunjae is a great guy. I know he wouldn’t hurt you.”

“He will if he rejects me.” You whisper, curling in on yourself and effectively burrowing against Changmin. The thought, the ache of being vulnerable and having your feelings out in the open without knowing his scares the living hell out of you. You’ve gone through rejection and things not working out after giving your all before and to do it again… It’s not something you want to do right now.

Changmin knows you and he knows how your mind works and instead of saying anything more, he kisses your forehead and cuddles you tighter.

Hyunjae was right, the boy could make sunshine from the colour black and right now in your best friend's arms, you felt as if winter was a faraway dream and instead you were on the soft beds of summer sand.

—

You see Hyunjae again three days later. This time without the comforting presence of Changmin.

It’s midday and you’re bored at home, simply lazing on your sofa with a rerun of an old show playing on your TV. Changmin started at work earlier than you, thus leaving you alone. So when you hear the familiar christmas jingle (that you really should change now) ring out through the apartment, your brows screw together in confusion and with a grunt you push yourself up and begin to approach your door.

Your hand draws beneath your shirt to scratch at your belly, slippers faintly squeaking against the floor until they come to a stop and your eye squints into the peephole. In an instant, you’re shooting backward, eyes wide and once again panic has made itself at home inside of you. The soft tufts of dark brown falling above gentle eyes unmistakably belong to Hyunjae, though you think you must be seeing things, holding your breath as if he could hear you and once more leaning toward the door to peep at him.

Yeah, no, it’s him.

When the bell sounds off again your lip catches between your teeth as you nervously gnaw at it, debating in your anxiety riddled brain on whether to answer or not. The answer becomes clear, however, when your fingertips rest on your door and you lean closer to peak at Hyunjae once more. He’s wearing a baseball cap but when he tilts his head back the creases on his skin when he furrows his brows are clear to see and your heart skips more than one beat when he releases a huff of air and pouts his lips out. No, you simply cannot leave him waiting any longer.

Smoothing out your hair and clearing your throat in some unspoken appear like your shit is together ritual you finally unlock the door, seeing Hyunjae straighten up and features relaxing and when you pull the door open you think that just maybe that little ritual to calm yourself is for nought, because nothing can control your heart or the way the way heat invisibly kisses your cheeks when you’re at last face to face.

As your eyes meet, the edges of his lips lift just the slightest, but his small smile feels like the full exposure of the sun while sitting on freshly trimmed grass in the middle of summer and your heart lurches into your throat, leaving you still and mute. Hyunjae’s own lips falter on words, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck sheepishly and before he can say anything you find yourself blurting out “Changmin’s at work.”

The silence hangs between you both, Hyunjae’s eyes boring into yours until with some kind of finality to whatever thought he was having (that he was going to get you to forget about Changmin for a while) he stands straighter and lets his lips stretch that much further, until the effect of it reaches from his plump cheeks balled high right to his eyes to form endearing slits.

“I’m here for you.” He says warmly, friendly, but still, you feel that your heart might explode in your throat right now. A lovely image.

“M-me?”

Hyunjae, a seemingly simple man, gives you a simple nod, eyes glimmering with warm rays, lips gently lifted and calming your racing heart, but only because you’re sinking into his entirety right now.

“Uh, well, you should come in then.” You say eventually, letting out a nervous laugh.

You pause for a split second after you’ve closed the door just to take a deep breath; that was a mistake because the smell of Hyunjae has already permeated the air, something faintly sweet and homey that embeds itself into your senses, leaving only him to fill your being. When you turn around Hyunjae has taken off his jacket, already hung it on the hooks as if he’d just arrived home and kicks off his shoes to place neatly on the rack right beside yours.

It's things like this.

The way Hyunjae is effortlessly comforting, how everything he does feels in sync with you, how he’s as natural as the air you breathe, the way he filters into your lungs and spreads throughout your body, how he settles himself into your world as if he were always there… It’s always so natural and domestic and it scares you how much you want him to fit himself into your world, how much you crave for the calmness and warmth he exudes. It’s things like this. Things like this that made you fall for Hyunjae in the first place.

Eyes curled into that adoring smile of his, silence lingers with the tick tock of your clock, everything but your heart still. Something thankfully snaps in your mind, like a rubber band slapping back against your skin and you’re spurred to act, to do something, before you really do something foolish like ask Hyunjae if he could just hold you quietly for, well the rest of time if possible.

Instead you gesture toward the kitchen. “Would you like something to drink?”

His smile somehow grows and with it the weight in your heart bears down heavier in your chest. He rubs his hands together, small steps shuffling toward you. “I’d kill for some tea or something hot. It’s freezing out there.” One blink and suddenly, you’re practically toe to toe, his height looming over you and smile, a shining light directing itself right into your eyes. His smell, the heat that’s clung to his skin, the slow faint sound of his breathing melds into one wonderfully disarming spell that knocks your whole world off its axis when it hits you, and you’re stuck in it, unable to fathom anything else around or within you, because right now your anatomy, your biology, all its senses, nerves, synapses and the like have been rewired to respond to Hyunjae and Hyunjae only.

Even when you do manage to gather yourself to complete a task (that’s for him anyway) it’s all slow, as if you were trying to pass through clingfilm, or you were moving through an invisible force field attempting to hold you back. Your eyes linger on his without any thought that it may come across as weird for how long and how deep you allow yourself to sink into his dark pools, your rational side certainly didn’t think it was weird at all, didn’t even want to attempt to get you to hold back and even as you drew away from him, stepping backward so your sight could stay on his a little longer, you still didn’t think to yourself perhaps it’s time to wake up now.

You’re in a strange headspace when you eventually do reach your counter and grab at the kettle to fill with water. Hyunjae hasn’t said anything though he did notice your strange behaviour. He was just as floored at the way you looked at him, how your gaze lingered in the way it did and fought to stay on him until you eventually had to turn away. And while you were away with the fairies Hyunjae stands by your table with red tinged ears and a racing aching heart.

The kettle bubbles away and you’re moving slowly, like you’re not really present and Hyunjae watches you, takes note of the small smile on your face and the glaze that makes your eyes look all shiny and far away and he’s never had any particular wishes in his life; he’s a rather practical man, yet in that moment he wants the universe to grant him the impossible, to allow him to invade the world that is your brain and witness the thing that made you get such a beautiful dreamy look on your face.

If only he knew.

Strangely enough, it’s the tranquil sound of the water being poured into the mugs and bringing steam to float out of its confines that breaks the spell you seem to be under. You realise that Hyunjae is here and that you are both alone once more. And now your anatomy, biology, the nerves and synapses and the like have reverted back to their actual purpose, or at least to what they do best and that’s to make you a panicked and jittery mess.

“Um, take a seat. I’ll bring them over.” You quietly say.

And now Hyunjae really does wonder about the happenings inside your head. Alas, he turns to walk over to the sofa, a large stretch of comfie white that looks smaller than it is once he takes a seat.

“Sugar?” You call out, scooping up your usual two spoons and mixing it in.

Hyunjae replies that he would like two and you really are back to normal, or at least your version, because you’re brain decided to throw itself back to your youthful days as a nerve-filled young girl high on the thought of romance and love and allows you to think oh, two, just like me.

You’re almost angry at yourself when you roughly scoop up two teaspoons of sugar and stir Hyunjaes mug. “Milky, or strong?” Again, like you, he likes his tea strong, just a ‘couple quick flicks of the wrist’ he says and you don’t feel like the adult you are at all, getting happy and gooey and all over something so miniscule. Letting out a huff your fingers slide into the handles to grasp the mugs and you make your way over to the sofa.

Even with you sat on the other side of the sofa, Hyunjae is big enough, wide enough that there doesn’t even feel like there’s much distance between you and that makes you so incredibly nervous. Like you’ve never sat beside a boy, well a man, before. Something swells inside your throat, or maybe it’s actually your throat closing up. A silence stretches and you hope to God that it’s only you feeling awkward, because you really don’t want to make Hyunjae uncomfortable, but the silence is so long and his heat is stitching itself into your skin and almost tugging as if to make you curl up against his side and—

“Ahh that’s the stuff. Thanks. I really needed that.”

Your eyes meet his again and they’re curled into that favourite eye smile of yours. The one that makes you feel like your heart is smiling right back. You can tell he’s grateful, that he’s genuine about it. Because that’s Hyunjae all over. Appreciative, honest, sweet and the few seconds you mull over his qualities that had you falling for him, you also realise that unlike you both liking your tea strong with two sugars, that’s probably where you draw the line with being similar. You shouldn’t think this way. At all. Especially when it took years from your late teens into the early years of adulthood to accept yourself, flaws and all to build yourself as close as possible to a person that you wanted to be.

But you couldn’t help it. You couldn’t help the small demeaning thought that Hyunjae is way out of your league and that he is everything you are not.

Before you can go off on a tangent of self-deprecating thoughts, however, Hyunjae speaks up once more, shuffling on the sofa closer to you with his long legs and smiling eyes.

“So, I didn’t drop by randomly, by the way. Changmin just said that he would be working, but that you would be free to talk about your birthday a bit more, so I should drop by…”

Changmin, of fucking course.

“It seems like he didn’t tell you though, so I’m sorry if me coming here has made you feel uncomfortable or anything.”

You’re quick to take note of the small frown lines forming on his head and it urges you to rush out a string of no’s and wave your hands around as if to physically wipe away the thought. You can feel that your cheeks have warmed and you give Hyunjae a sheepish smile, allowing your hands to fall limp into your lap.

“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable in any way at all, Hyunjae.” You don’t notice, because your eyes fall to your hands twisting in your lap, but Hyunjae’s eyes widen ever so slightly and his throat bobs as he tries to swallow the dryness and he shifts ever so slightly because his heart just moved all kinds of crazy and all because of your soft eyes and the curve of your lips when you said his name. “I just,” You continue, not allowing yourself to look at him still, “wasn’t expecting you. But, it’s nice to see you. Really, it is.” And you meant it, you really did.

Somewhere between general chit chat and sips of warm tea, you and Hyunjae had moved to the small round table that sits as an invisible border (even though the carpet and the tiled flooring is a clear indication) of where your kitchen and living room separate. Your legs knock together at first and you both do that laugh that people do when something kind of silly happens, something to not be made a big deal out of so you laugh in apology instead. And admittedly the touch did make your heartbeat spike, but the laughter and its warmth and the fact it was something shared really made everything more natural, more comfortable.

When you both manage to find a good position to settle in at the small table, right next to each other, with both of your legs poking out next to the other, Hyunjae smiles at you again. It’s so disarming, honestly.

In the middle of this small table of yours is a big square piece of white paper, blank and waiting to be filled and in your hand that’s not drumming against the side of your mug is a big red marker pen, pulled from the packet of other markers laying beside the paper.

“Okay, so like we should make a list of what we got so far and then go from there?” You ask.

Hyunjae only nods, smiling again before taking a sip of his tea. He could be somewhat of a talker (an understatement, he could rabbit on when he wants to), but seeing you so invested and chatty, he feels no need to talk, simply wanting to sit back and listen to your voice.

And with that you began to messily (because you hadn’t been at work for a few weeks now and hadn’t had the need to write and so your writing skills have become a bit sloppy) jot down the very little plans you’ve made for your birthday.

The list went like this:

x Music — Sangyeon

x Food provider — Chanhee

And… that was it.

Apparently Hyunjae’s thinking the same thing because he quirks his brow at the paper and then looks up at you with questioning eyes. “What about the venue, you know that.”

“I do?”

“Yeah… Changmin said that place by the river. You know the one with the fairy lights and hanging flowers and inside it's got this over the top chandelier?”

You did know. But you were feeling playful and you knew sweet and trusting Hyunjae would believe your little act when you made your eyes big and sat up suddenly in your seat and allowed your mouth to hang open in shock.

“What? Changmin ACTUALLY booked that place for me?”

Then you watch Hyunjae pause. With his cup mid air and his eyes round and bottom lip hanging and the way the oh shit crosses his eyes nearly makes you break then and there if not for the subtle inhale through your nose.

Hyunjae slowly sets his cup back down and he starts to frown, letting it grow deeper until he finally says. “You didn’t know?”

“Nope. I mean I told Min that’s where I wanted to go, but he said it was all booked out.” God, you should have been an actress. They’re like professional liars, right?

“Shit.” The soft curse sounded so sweet from his lips and made you want to burst into giggles, especially when he began to repeat it over and over throwing his head back. A deep groan leaves his lips and you really should not be thinking about how the rich sound rumbles up his throat and past his lips only to reverberate through your own body, making you feel hot under the collar. Especially when he’s being so innocent about it. But, God did you really have to make ONE man that cute AND that sexy?

Thankfully, he distracts your borderline saucy thoughts by speaking again. “I thought you knew — Gah I can’t believe I ruined the surprise. I’m so stu—”

“— I’m kidding.”

Hyunjae blinks at you, words dying on his tongue. As soon as he sees your lips twitch into a barely contained smile his own breaks out and he bows his head, shaking it at you as he chuckles.

“I expect that sort of shit from Changmin. I really thought I fucked up there.” And you think he might be a bit upset, but he laughs again, eyes shining when they look at you and you find yourself joining him. “I’ll have to get you back.”

You raise your brow at that, curling the edge of your lips into a smirk. “That so?”

Then he leans forward on his forearms as if to tell you a secret, but you’re too distracted by the way his arms flex in the simple shirt he had on beneath his hoodie; he’s so broad and solid and just… God. Before your thoughts can fly even further into dangerous territory, Hyunjae speaks.

“I’ll get you when you least expect it.” He drawls in a way that makes your throat feel dry. It feels as if the smallest molecules that make up the air have frozen in place, everything still as your eyes lock with each others and the way the edge of Hyunjae’s lips are still curved into the smallest of smirks makes you subconsciously hold your breath, leaving you to sit quietly in your chair and keep your stare on him.

He moves on as if nothing happened, however. As if you both didn’t just engage in one of the most powerful and tensest eye contests that left your heart fumbling to remember its purpose and your throat bone dry.

Then again why would he be affected when you’re the one with a crush.

“So now we know the venue,” he says, interrupting your gloomy thoughts with his teasing voice, “you can add it to the list. Have you already made a list of people coming?”

“Yep. Sent the invites out. If you didn’t get one then you weren't invited.” You say pointedly.

But Hyunjae seems to know the tells of your lies and teasing already, because he just chuckles and nonchalantly says, “looks like I’m gatecrashing.”

You both discuss the venue capacity versus how many guests you’re having, factoring in Chanhee’s catering staff, which you still need to ask him about, and of course the DJ. You’re usually bad at planning and thinking of ideas, mostly leaving that sort of thing in Changmin’s hands, but with Hyunjae it’s easy to flow from one idea to the next and get things organised. You’re pleasantly surprised to find that Hyunjae is very detail oriented and amazing at helping you to sort through everything. He’s already helped you to plan the colour theme and the dress code and he’s helped you to work out a budget (minus the venue since Changmin had sorted that for you) and all that’s really left is for you to send out the invites via text as is the way nowadays.

And by the time he left, you were too sleepy to be sad about it, though your heart did manage a little ache in longing as you both softly said goodbye to each other.

And when you closed the door and turned back around to quickly clear the table and neaten out the blanket and cushions on the sofa it was then that you noticed the thick grey hoodie that Hyunjae had removed earlier on. Your hand hovers over it for but a moment before you’re picking it up and slowly bringing the material to your nose. With your deep inhale his scent permeates your entirety and like a sedative you feel every part of you sighing in content; he’s just like home.

You drop Hyunjae a quick message and inform him of the forgotten hoodie.

From; Hyunjae: Don’t worry about it, I have plenty.

From; Hyunjae: Besides, it'd look better on you. So keep it :)

You can’t remember how long it took you to reply to that, or how long it took to calm your heart (well as much as you could at least), but what you did know is that the weight of his large hoodie on your skin and the warmth it gave you and the scent of Hyunjae clinging to the material gave you one of the most peaceful sleeps you’ve ever had in your life.

—

Changmin has a day off from work the day before you’re due back and you curse Changmin’s work for inconveniencing you, because now you have to use the last day you’re off from work to go shopping with him for your birthday outfit.

You told Changmin the day after Hyunjae had been around (because you ended up sleeping the entire night and into the next day) that you both decided on a theme and colour scheme and Changmin was very pleased.

That brings you to today where you’re waiting for Changmin to finish in the shower so you can start getting ready. Thankfully he doesn’t take too long to use the bathroom anyway, so you can chill in the living room and watch the last ten minutes of your show until he’s done.

During the time you’re waiting the doorbell rings and you wonder if it’s the mailman with a package (because Changmin is often ordering things from online) and while looking back at your TV because something dramatic is happening, you stumble over to your door and blindly pull it open.

Hyunjae already has a smile on his face, but as he watches you with your head turned back to the TV and body engulfed in his hoodie, he feels his cheeks bunch higher with his smile and the warmth he feels from seeing you so free and relaxed in something of his does more to his heart than words could describe.

When you do eventually turn around to apologise to the mailman the words die on your tongue and you’re left blinking up at Hyunjae with your lips shaped like a fish blowing bubbles the longer you gape at him.

“Hy-Hyunjae?”

He adorably raises one of his large hands and gives you the tiniest wave in greeting. “Changmin said something about shopping? I don’t really own anything purple so…”

Lee Changmin.

You really shouldn’t be surprised.

“Sure, come on in…” You step aside for Hyunjae and once again that familiar warmth like the morning sun kissing your skin through the cracks in your curtains spreads within you as you watch him hang his coat as if he were coming home. God I’m whipped.

“Min’ is just in the shower. He shouldn’t be long. I have to get ready and then we’re good to go.” Hyunjae nods, walking toward your sofa and plopping down, leaving you by the door and staring at the back of his (stupidly beautiful) head. “Oh and we’re gonna go to Ki’s restaurant to decide on food.”

At that Hyunjae turns his head as you’re walking toward him. He has a huge smile plastered on his face, eyes creasing until they nearly disappear. “I know. That’s the second benefit of coming, the food.”

His happiness is so contagious and endearing that you nearly miss what he says. “That’s the second benefit? What’s the first one then?” You frown when you see Hyunjae’s smile falter, eye smile completely disappearing and then his features slowly fading into a blank stare. “Hyunjae?”

His throat bobs when he swallows and you’re even more confused when you spot his ear’s tinting pink. “U-uh. Just that... You know…” Your frown deepens when he trails off and before you can inquire further Changmin loudly announces that he’s done in the bathroom, casually strolling down the corridor with only a towel around his waist walking into the kitchen area and pulling out a bottle of juice from the fridge, that he drinks straight from the fucking bottle despite you telling him to not to do that numerous times.

Hyunjae breathes a sigh of relief when he sees your attention is on Changmin, because how was he supposed to outright say oh well you see the first benefit is that I get to spend more time with you?

The relief is short lived, however, when he watches you go over to scold Changmin, slapping him up the head and making the man yelp. You begin to go off at Changmin once again about how drinking from the bottle is unhygienic and asking him if it was so fucking hard to just use a damn cup. Green eyed monsters have been making more and more appearances as of late; like right now, when Changmin just giggles as he tells you how cute you are when you’re mad and it makes Hyunjae mad, because yeah, you are fucking cute, even when you’re mad, but who is Changmin to say it in that annoyingly teasing voice, and who is Changmin to pinch your cheeks and who is Changmin to stand practically naked before you and be touched by you when you slap against his bare chest in annoyance.

No, not ‘who is Changmin’.

Who am I? To be getting mad.

The fist he hadn’t even known he was clenching slowly relaxes and he watches you leave with an annoyed whatever.

Changmin goes straight back to drinking from the carton.

—

Your apartment is situated in a convenient spot; the bus stop is literally in front of your building, and the fact that more than one bus comes to that stop means you can more or less go to where you need to at any given time. A ten minute walk down the street to the left and you’d be at the underground station. In half that time a walk down the street to the right would bring you to all your small local stores; a grocery store, a post office, an off licence, all the basics you’d need if you were not in the mood or fussed to go to a bigger supermarket. And right across the street was a whole stretch of green, the park perfect for a run, or a picnic, or just to read a book when you didn’t want to be cooped up inside, but didn’t necessarily want to travel far from home either. And the trip to the outlet would only be roughly twenty minutes by bus depending on traffic.

Another convenience is that the buses tend to be on time too, so as the three of you wait and you quietly listen to Changmin chat Hyunjae’s ear off while you look down the street to see when the bus would approach, which if it’s on time should only be in a couple of minutes.

You are unsure of how many times this has happened, but at the sound of Hyunjae’s laughter, light and sweet, you’re distracted from the road and instead are looking at him. You watch as his shoulders shake with his chuckles, his lips stretched wide on his face and baring his teeth, eyes squinted into its own smile and you feel your senses mellow out to hone in and focus on that laugh and his smile.

You’re only pulled out of your dreamy stupor when Changmin playfully shoves you and leans forward to whisper in your ear. “Bus is here, don’t worry loverboy will still be there.” And your cheeks immediately grow warm, the sensation travelling up your neck and even reaching your ears.

You shove him back and turn toward the bus, seeing it pull up and quickly pull your pass from your pocket.

When the doors whine upon opening, Hyunjae is quick to move to the side and gestures to you with a warm expression to go ahead first. You smile gratefully (and a little shyly) and when you go to step forward Changmin, the little shit, pushes past you, blowing a kiss to Hyunjae and thanking him loudly for being such a gent’. You roll your eyes, quickly making your way onto the bus.

Changmin has found a spot near the back and once you reach him you’re unsure if you should take your own window seat or sit next to him. He decides for you when he spreads his legs effectively blocking any space for you to sit, making you roll your eyes again and you take the window seat adjacent to him. The little seat conundrum makes you momentarily forget about Hyunjae and you stiffen when you feel him plop down next to you without hesitation.

You’re layered up for the winter cold already, but he feels so warm; the kind of warmth when you get home and turn on the heating and feel it slowly spread in your apartment instantly making you feel cosy and safe and you have to resist leaning closer into it, into him. You chance a look up at Hyunjae and something strikes your heart when your eyes meet, Hyunjae is already looking down at you. And then he smiles and there’s another strike.

The bus pulls away from the stop with your eyes caught and not seeking to look elsewhere. Not that you would want to, anyway.

—

The streets are missing that holiday glow; the lights that decorate the trees don’t seem to shine as bright, or joyously. The crowds that occupy the streets seem drained of the previous rush that would make the surroundings feel alive, may it have been stressful at the time or not.

Now everything just feels dull.

And you would be quick to get sucked into that dreary mood if not for the fact that you were currently with your two favourite boys. Between your two favourite boys actually.

One of the entrances to the outlet is near the bus stop that you walk toward once you all step off of the bus onto grey concrete with your arms brushing against Changmin’s and Hyunjae’s.

Normally beside Changmin you barely notice your height difference, but next to Hyunjae it’s so obvious. Even sitting beside him on the bus he had taken up much of the space with his broad shoulders only serving to make the urge to lean into him that much more prominent, feeling safe and cosy and almost miniature next to him.

Seeing all the stores with multiple for sale signs and the sight of clothes astrew and masses of people piling in and out already makes your head hurt and you suddenly recall why it is that you hate shopping and wish you had ignored Changmin and stuck to searching for something online.

Alas, you’re here now and Changmin is at least happy and in his element, taking a hold of your hand when he spots a sale in a store he regularly splurges most of his paycheck at.

You yelp as he drags you whilst Hyunjae is left behind the both of you with a frown and darkening eyes on Changmin’s hand wrapped around yours. He sighs heavily, irritated, because he seems to be feeling more and more unbecoming to his friend as of late, and that’s just not him at all. It’s not like it’s Changmin’s fault that Hyunjae has developed a crush on you who has a crush on Changmin, your damned friend and roommate. It’s the biggest cliche in the world, something inevitable, for two people who are not only close, but who live together to eventually develop feelings for the other.

It’s also not Changmin’s fault, Hyunjae reminds himself again, that he was too afraid to tell you about his feelings.

Hyunjae steps into the store not long after you both, a heavy sigh falling from his lips as his eyes scour the masses of people at the ‘for sale’ racks. He spots you with Changmin who is busily sliding dress after dress along the rail in dismissal. You stand there looking bored, head fallen to the side and eyes staring at nothing in particular. It makes Hyunjae smile. He feels bored already too.

When he approaches you both, you turn and smile at him, muttering something about how you’ll be stuck there for hours if Changmin has his way, but then with a quick glance at Changmin you lean closer as if to tell him a secret. “But if you wanna escape I can distract him. Seriously. Make a run for it while you can.”

Hyunjae barely registers your playful words when your smell plays with his senses, fogging up the cogs of his brain and making him feel all droopy eyed and dopey as it washes over him. He quickly makes himself chuckle (awkwardly) and then he leans closer, not catching the way your breath hitches at his proximity.

“I can accidentally knock him over. I’m big enough. He’ll be dazed and we can both make a run for it.” I know you’re big, you almost sigh out, suppressing a shiver when you once again think about how broad and strong Hyunjae’s entire frame is.

Instead you quietly laugh back, holding up your hand with mischievous eyes. “Deal.”

As Hyunjae goes to shake your hand, damn Changmin interrupts.

“C’mere babe.”

Hyunjae’s hand immediately curls from its loose gesture into a tight fist as soon as he hears that stupid term of endearment leave Changmin’s lips. Babe. Fucking babe. Hyunjae doesn’t even think he’d call someone babe. Maybe baby, or honey, or something, but not babe. Even so, he doesn’t like that Changmin gets to be the one to call you that.

You turn away from Hyunjae and he feels his heart drop into his gut, the pulsing making him feel sick to his stomach because it just feels, once again, that this is how it will always be. With you turning away from him to Changmin. And he briefly wonders how long he’ll be able to handle that. If his feelings for you will ever leave, just like he feels you are leaving him for Changmin.

Changmin shoves a dress against your body and Hyunjae exhales low through his nostrils, and if he were a dragon or something he’s sure that there would be fumes of smoke billowing from his nostrils.

“Min.” You whine out when the boy practically manhandles your body, pulling the fabric of the dress tight around your frame and his eyes scanning your body trying to picture how it would fit against you when on.

Hyunjae feels the way his body screams to react, the instinct to pull you away from Changmin nearly winning over his rational thinking when his eyes zero in on how close Changmin is to you, sees how casual he is when touching you and fuck for the first time in his life he just wants to STOP thinking and just punch Changmin’s stupid face. Hyunjae fights to calm his breathing, turning his eyes away from the situation as if that will make reality cease and it only helps a little. Until he hears Changmin’s voice.

“I knew it. Your tits would look great in this.”

Hyunjae manages to catch the shrill call of Changmin’s name when he freezes, blood rushing to his ears and hands squeezed painfully tight until his knuckles are white and his fingers begin to turn numb.

You nervously shoot your gaze back at Hyunjae, an invisible fire flaring across your cheeks and lip pulled between your teeth. Your nerves fray at the edges when you spot the cold look on Hyunjae��s face. It’s unlike something you’ve ever seen on him, eyes hard and expression stoic, his whole build seemingly stiff and you feel the need to cry, because it must be because you and Changmin have made him uncomfortable. And you never want to make him feel that.

You shove Changmin away, slapping him across the head and hissing watch your damn mouth, before turning back to Hyunjae again, eyes soft and apologetic. “I’m sorry. You know he has no filter. I hope we didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

You could do no wrong. He wants to say. The sound of your voice and the sight of those flying lit lanterns that melt the colour in your eyes sates him only slightly, giving him something other than his anger and frustration to focus on. Instead of saying and acting the way he really wants to in this situation, he gives you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry. Changmin’s dumb.” Changmin protests in the background, but the both of you ignore him. Only keeping your gazes on the other, heart beats mirroring within your chests.

—

“I can’t believe we haven’t found anything.” Changmin groans, grabbing your arm and throwing his head against your shoulder. “We’ve been to like more than half of the good stores already.” He continues to grumble.

Hyunjae stands on the other side of you, peering down at Changmin practically hanging off of you and his brow twitches. It had been like this for the entirety of your shopping trip. Changmin casually touching you, dragging you here and there with him, making crude remarks like earlier on about how something would look on your body, what certain features would be accented, even going as far as to playfully land a slap on your butt when he’d direct you toward a changing room. Hyunjae thinks he must be a saint, the whole day weighing down on him and depleting him of energy. He doesn’t think he’d even have the strength to punch Changmin if he allowed himself.

And his heart only aches more because when Changmin would make those remarks, or when he touched you in a way Hyunjae thought was inappropriate (touching you at all was inappropriate in Hyunjae’s eyes though) your eyes would always find his, shy and flustered, and it just hurt. It physically hurt Hyunjae to see you react to another man that way.

You’re about ready to give up. Tell Changmin you’ll look for something online when you spot the back of someone's head. “Kevin?” You call out, moving away from Hyunjae and Changmin and toward the person you hope is your friend's direction. As they turn your teeth bare with your wide smile and you speed up your steps until you’re half jogging over to him with your arms spread.

Kevin’s face is the epitome of sunshine when he smiles brightly at you, already slightly bending with his arms spread to catch you. He stumbles from his spot when your body crashes into his, arms secure around yours when he barely lifts your body from the floor.

“Ohmygosh!” You say into his neck, voice coming out muffled making him laugh. You pull your head back just as Kevin settles you on your feet again. “I thought I wouldn’t see you until my party.” You gush, hanging onto his arms as you look up at him.

“Same. I’ve actually been stressing all week trying to think of what to get you.” He pouts, tilting his head and he’s so damn adorable you just want to pinch his cheeks.

You give a sympathetic look, patting his arm. “Aw, don’t worry about it hun. Just you coming is good enough for me. I know how busy you are with your new line and everything.”

Kevin shakes his head adamantly. “N’uh I have to get you something. I am glad I found the time for your party though. Things have calmed down a bit since Christmas.”

“But everything's going well?”

“Amazingly well. I’m just so… Happy.”

Your cheeks ache with your smile, words nothing but honest and sincere when you tell Kevin. “I’m glad. You deserve it.”

He gives you a soft smile, nudging your shoulder bashfully. “What you up to anyway? Catching the new year sales?”

“Actually,” You say with a heavy sigh, “We’re trying to find an outfit for my birthday, It is not going well.”

Kevin’s eyes widen and he suddenly steps closer to you, clutching your arms. “Why didn’t you ask me? Um hellooooo fashion designer right here!”

You laugh, giving him a pointed look. “Your stuff is a little out of my price range Kev.”

“Well then it’s perfect.”

“What is?”

He huffs, suddenly pinching your cheek very hard, laughing when you pout and rub your cheek after he lets go. “Now I know what I can give you as a gift. We just have to sort out a time to meet for me to take your measurements. Is tomorrow evening good?”

“Are you serious?” “Deadly.” You rush forward and embrace him in a tight hug.

“I think I might love you.” You say into his chest.

Why does everyone get to touch her that way, but me?

—

Chanhee’s restaurant is everything you would expect from him; classy colour design with fine cloth lining the tables, seats plush and velour covered, walls detailed with intricate oriental art, a comforting, yet elegant and upper-class feel to the place.

Your small group stands out — yes the clothes were designer, but you didn’t think designer sportswear really counted as you all made your way toward the back room for the tasting. Thankfully, it was before they reopen for dinner, so you didn’t have any judgmental eyes on you.

Minus the staff currently dressed better than all three of you put together.

Hyunjae pulls the door open, allowing Changmin in and then giving you a gentle smile, ushering you in before him too. You mouth a thank you, following Changmin inside and seeing your dear friend Chanhee, brows furrowed in concentration as he reads something off a clipboard. He quickly signs along the bottom and hands it over to a staff member with a thank you.

When his eyes lay on you all a smile took over his face. “Welcome to my humble abode.” He jests with a flamboyant bow.

“Um, what's humble about this place please? I could probably eat my food off this prestige floor.” Changmin comments.

“Please… God...Don’t.” Chanhee says with intense repugnance etched into the creases of his face. You all recall that Changmin has in fact eaten off of the floor before, and that… disgustingly, he would not hesitate to do so again.

“I can’t believe how long it's taken for us to come here, Chan.” You marvel, approaching him for a gruff and friendly hug.

“I know! It’s just been so busy since the opening… honestly, it still doesn’t feel real, having my own restaurant I mean.”

Changmin came between the two of you then, slinging his arms around you both with a proud smile; the both of you have known of Chanhee’s dreams of opening his own restaurant since your first year of university. He was always the one to aim high, going above and beyond in everything he did to get to where he is now. You’re all proud and happy for him, especially to be around to witness his hard work come to life.

“I see they dragged you too, Jae.” Chanhee moves away from you both to slap his hand against Hyunjae who smiles fondly at the younger.

“I was not gonna miss a chance to taste some of your food.” He takes a look around, thinking that the place is just so Chanhee and pats him on the back. “Congrats’ man. The place looks good.”

Chanhee’s face turns serious when he leans close to the three of you. “Don’t tell him I ever told you this, but,” He sighs, a grimace spreading on his face as if the words he is about to say are truly painful. “I owe that to Hak. The man really does know how to make art come to life.”

“Damn I wish I was recording.” Chanhee shoves Changmin, rolling his eyes before clapping his hands together.

“Right! I spent a long time thinking of a good menu and making it too. So if you don’t like it… tough!” Typical Chanhee.

Chanhee takes you to another room extended to the back room, much smaller than the main seating area of his restaurant, but still spacious. Chanhee tells you all that this area is usually reserved for VIP guests, or small private dinner parties.

Unlike the squareness of the main room, this room resembles a bird cage, you think. The wood has been carved in a way that might resemble the top of one, the room circular and the glass windows stained in different colours that paint the room like a kaleidoscope when the sun shines through.

The tables aren’t clothed like the ones in the front, instead they have been cleared to make way for silver trays of food to be placed down on mats. The smell immediately wafts over you, sparking the hunger within you and making you salivate. And looking over at Hyunjae you can see that it’s had the same effect on him.

Your eyes meet and immediately you both burst into laughter.

“Looks good.” You tell Chanhee.

And Hyunjae quickly, with a voice of longing says, “smells good too.”

“And it will taste good.” Changmin affirms for Chanhee, making the man scowl when Changmin reaches up to pinch his cheek.

“Yes. It will. So let's get to it.”

“I was thinking you can have a table laid out with some appetisers so people can pick when they’re hungry until actual food is served. I have mini kebab skewers— “

“Ooo fancy—”

“— I made lamb and chicken and the accompanying sauce tzatziki or thai chilli. The sauces are amazing together.” Chanhee boasts. He continues to take you through the different starters, all kept simple and within budget, though Chanhee the sweetheart said he did go more fancier just for you. He’s got a good selection, from crispy cheese melts, to battered squid and garlic.

It all sounds so good, but your rumbling stomach is saying what you’re all thinking: let us try it already.

“Like the starters, I have vegetarian and gluten free options for the main. I have slow cooked lamb served with…” The longer Chanhee drones on about the various food he has planned for your birthday, the tighter your stomach coils waiting to be sated and you can barely pay attention to what he’s saying when your eyes can’t look away from the sealed metal trays of hot food just waiting for you and as he starts to speak about dessert you’re only thankful that you aren’t the one asking him to just let you try the food, because the only person hungrier than you at this point is Hyunjae.

“C’mon Chanhee, we can talk and eat. I’ll eat you at this point.” You and Changmin snicker into your hand and Chanhee looks mildly concerned but nods his head nonetheless, finally lifting the lid from the first tray where the kebab skewers sit.

With gloved hands Chanhee hands you all one each and then holds two small dishes with the sauces up and informs you — as a chef strict as Chanhee would — how to eat the skewers, instructing you all to chew slowly and to let the flavour blend in with the sauces for a moist, as he grossly put it, experience.

He knows what he’s talking about though because there is a cacophony of satisfied moans the moment you all bite into your sauced up kebabs, the meat falling away effortlessly in your mouth and the sauce enhancing its already delicious flavour. Once more, mid bite, your eyes connect with Hyunjae’s, each of you with full cheeks and expression full of content, but it makes you both laugh, the chuckles muffled behind closed lips and your hand coming up to your mouth to keep from spraying the food so elegantly everywhere. But it doesn’t matter because the food hits the back of your throat weirdly and you feel your eyes water up and your throat tighten all the way down to your chest when you begin to splutter around the food, going into a glorious coughing fit.

You keep your hand over your mouth as you attempt to push down the coughs and Hyunjae’s eyes are immediately filled with concern and he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into him and tap his large palm against your back, eyes peering down at your watery ones while the lasts of your embarrassing coughing fit comes to an end.

When he notices that your coughs have eased into small croaks, his hand rests on your back and moves in calming circular motions that make you want to fall even deeper against him and your tears clear from your eyes and everything feels quiet and still, something thick seeming to muffle your ears and block out everything else whilst your stare remains on him, steady like the motion of his palm that burns through the material of your clothes and it’s only the thrust of a glass of water in your face from a frazzled Chanhee that washes away the invisible cloak over your senses that makes Hyunjae’s body fall away from yours.

“Shit, please do not die in my restaurant.” He says, watching you carefully while you gulp down the cool liquid, clearly having missed the moment he interrupted. (Thankfully, busy body Changmin did not.)

After that little incident Chanhee basically coddled you, instructing you to chew slowly and carefully and for all that is good to not laugh while you have food in your mouth, and though annoying you know it was his way of caring and preventing a death in his restaurant.

With the appetisers and starters all tasted and approved, Chanhee brought out small plates of the potential mains. Right now you are trying the spicy beef curry and garlic and herb naan bread, once again taking your palette to heaven. Hyunjae turns his head toward you, making sure that you have safely swallowed your food before mumbling in your ear while Chanhee and Changmin spoke that he might have to kidnap Chanhee and make him his personal chef slave, making you giggle.

“Okay, but you have to lend him to me three times a week.”

The browns of his irises glitter when he smiles, the gentle lift of his lips serving to tip your heart out of balance when he leans closer with a light laugh. “Or maybe you’ll just have to stay with me, too.” You’re sure he can hear the way you sharpy inhale through your nose and seem to hold your breath as you stare up at him; him and his warm smile that now teeters on the edge of teasing, and it makes you dizzy because sure Hyunjae is playful and charming, but you’ve never experienced something that you’re sure could be classified as flirting from him and though you’re a mature young woman you just don’t know how to get a hand on the way your heart stutters out of control and your throat grows dry and you still can’t breathe let alone reply and he seems to eat up the way he’s got you to respond, his lips spreading into a fuller smile that bunches his cheeks and turns his beautiful eyes into even more beautiful crescents.

His eyes move as if searching for something in you, trying to get a read on the thoughts in your head that unknowing to you, he’s so desperate for, but as per usual, once more someone else interrupts and Hyunjae feels that foreign burn in the pit of his stomach accelerate to a full blow flame that rushes to his chest and passes as a low growl in his throat when Changmin struts on over ever enthusiastic.

“Oh my gosh you have to try this one!” Changmin is standing before you both in a matter of seconds, oblivious (or at least that’s what the little shit would have you believe) to yet another moment you and Hyunjae had been sharing and Hyunjae watches with pinched brows as Changmin brings a spoonful of food toward your face and he has no idea what comes over him, his body reacting before he could even control himself but he pushes his head forward and wraps his lips around the spoon, pulling back with an exaggerated hmm and giving a thumbs up to Changmin while he chews.

Changmin cocks his head to the side with a smirk. “Taste good?” He asks, voice much too light. Hyunjae nods, eventually swallowing and gruffly replying yes. Changmin and Hyunjae engage in a weird starting contest, though as you look between them you’re not sure why, only that it’s weirding you out.

“Anway, what else you got for us Chan?” You push through between the boys, reaching Chanhee’s side and looking back to see that while Changmin is grinning at Hyunjae, his jaw ticks as he stares right back.

Chanhee whispers to you, asking what’s going on and you can only give him an incredulous look because you too have no clue what that was about.

—

Things seemed to return to normal by the time you all left Chanhee’s restaurant, having got the chance to enjoy an actual meal before he had to finish preparing for opening and making you forget that you even wanted to ask Changmin what that strange moment between the two of them was about.

The walk to the bus stop was spent chatting about the food and Changmin and Hyunjae pushing each other for God know’s what reason, but at least they were laughing about it. The sun is still high, the afternoon relatively early and you’re encaptured by the way the sun falls around Hyunjae’s form; a halo of light akinning him to the brightest angel birthed from the heavens and you find yourself sighing the longer he leaves you mesmerised.

Until your best friend turns around with a shit eating grin and a quirked brow to ask if Hyunjae has something on him. “Huh? What?”

“Well you’re staring so intently I just assumed that he had something on him.”

At this point Hyunjae turns his head to look back at you and your eyes widen at Changmin for a split second, the idiot having the nerve to snicker into his fist when he reads the murder in your gaze and you fake a laugh narrowing your eyes at Changmin and instead give him a smug smile when you say “nah, I was actually wondering how you’re so small and have such a fat head whereas Hyunjae is perfectly proportioned.”

Changmin comes to a stop, swinging around to look at you and you belatedly realise your mistake when instead of the frown you were hoping he’d sport, his eyes are alight with mischief, lips curling into the smuggest smirk when he quirks a brow at you.

“Oh?” he asks in a voice light and airy and teasing. “He’s perfectly proportioned?”

Hyunjae comes to a stop then, watching you watch Changmin with narrowed eyes. Changmin hums, moving behind Hyunjae’s tall frame so only his face is visible — only that evil grin can be seen. You watch as his hands come up to rest on Hyunjae’s wide shoulders, curling his fingers ever so slightly to massage into the skin and Hyunjae, bless him, only frowns, but makes no move to get Changmin off of him.

“I suppose he does have nice shoulders. Can you imagine hanging onto these shoulders? Can you imagine clutching at them?” You know I can you goddamn imbecile. “But what about his chest? Bet you’d like to lay your head on a chest like this.” Why must your stupid eyes follow Changmin’s stupid hands down to Hyunjae’s broad chest and why must you be so enthralled by said chest that you fail to realise a certain someones eyes on you when you bite your lip and almost sigh. When Changmin’s hands slide down his stomach and toward his belt that’s when you finally find your voice, hissing Changmin and glaring with all you have. “What? I was just wondering what your exact thoughts on Hyunjae’s perfect proportions are.”

You scowl, fully wanting to pull at Changmin’s hair and maybe even get your metaphorical claws out, but instead you take a deep breath and give him a tight lipped smile. “I don’t have any thoughts. I simply made an observation. Now can we go? We’re gonna miss the bus.”

You move past the two men, face feeling as if it were on fire. You absolutely refuse to look at Hyunjae, mortified by Changmin's antics, but the other man feels something like pride swell through him. He’s unsure if it's the fact that he feels a little victorious that mayhaps you like his body more than Changmin’s — because beating your crush at something? It’s only normal to feel so smug, but to know that you like his body enough that you sighed in such a dreamy way. That was the icing on the cake.

And he didn’t miss the embarrassed look in your eye, enjoying the fact that you’re clearly flustered more than you should be and for a moment Hyunjae forgets that you’re probably in love with you roommate, and instead replays your reaction and your own mouth calling him perfect in a sweet loop in his brain.

He notices how quiet you are on the way to the bus stop, once more wishing he could read your mind, but at least he doesn’t have to watch you interact with Changmin and feel that foreign and ugly feeling run through him because of it.

And when the bus comes and he sits next to you again, he can even forget the fact Changmin is there and allow himself to immaturely imagine that it’s just you and him and it’s his company you’ve chosen and that you feel the same way as him.

The thought of you and him follows him from the moment you both say goodbye, all the way home and even after, because ever since Hyunjae has recognised his feelings for you he finds that one thought is a constant and he wonders if there was no Changmin, would he be able to make that a reality?

—

Something you adore about winter is that there is no chance of sunlight breaking through your curtains and interrupting your sleep in the early hours of the morning. In the darkness of your room you are deep in slumber, body curled into the comfort of your duvet, skin kissed to deep sleep by the material of Hyunjae’s hoodie and making you never want to leave.

So why. In God’s name. Are you being woken up right now?

The answer should be an obvious one by now.

Fucking Ji Changmin.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYY!” You flinch, a deep aggravated groan leaving your lips when you feel the full weight of Changmin’s body fall on top of you. His arms move to bury into your sides beneath your body over the duvet, his head falling against the back of your neck.

“Fuck. Off.” Despite your voice being muffled against your pillow the threat is clear, the way you growl out your words through clenched teeth means to warn Changmin from keeping you from sleep.

This is Changmin we’re talking about though.

The man only laughs, snuggling closer, if possible, against your body and humming in delight.

“Ey,” He begins to tease, “that’s very unbecoming of a lady. You shouldn’t use such wor— Ooof—” Changmin rolls over to the side of your body and clutches his nose after you throw your head back to headbutt him.

“How’s that for a lady.” You test, groaning once more when you shift onto your side and turn your head to squint at the much-too-pleased-with-himself man. He peaks at you from over his fingers, eyes bright even in the dark and it makes you groan once again because fuck it’s too early for this— for him, and you’re further aggrivated when you feel that your body has slowly but surely started to wake up.

“Right. I’m gonna make my way over to the venue to start setting up. Chanhee said he’ll arrive about an hour after me to set up the kitchen and food. Kevin said he’ll be around soonish to make sure your dress is good to go so get up missy. You stink.” You tut, not even having the energy to hit Changmin for his rudeness, but Changmin takes your noise as confirmation that you heard and understood him, moving to get up from your bed. “Oh and Hyunjae said he’ll pick you up.”

As always at the mention of Hyunjae’s name your being comes alight and you’re wide awake, on alert for everything and blood pumping adrenaline through your system, urging you to go even if your brain is telling you to stay in bed.

“Your doing, I’m guessing.”

You hear Changmin’s steps shuffle across the floor, his voice reaching you from near the door. “Nope,” he quips, “Hyunjae volunteered. Something about not letting the birthday girl get a taxi. He must think you’re royalty.” Changmin giggles, knowing just how true the fact is.

Honestly, if you or Hyunjae don’t make a move on each other soon, he’ll really throw a fit. Though, he thinks with a smirk, that doesn’t mean he can’t help to make that happen. “See you later, princess.”

You hear your door shut and you sigh in relief as once again you’re engulfed in silence. It’s my birthday… Despite going as far as to have a party, the thought doesn’t excite you like it used to. Now it just feels like any other day, but you suspect that’s something likely to feel as you get older. Having a party really was due to Changmin’s encouragement and also the thought of being able to spend time with your loved ones, because Lord knows how difficult it is to have everyone meet up— Even if it was just the holidays. Sometimes, you think, being an adult really sucks.

The saving grace of today though is your party and… The fact that Hyunjae will be there. Although you’re a walking ball of nerves whenever you so much as think of him, let alone see him, you can’t deny how his mere presence makes you feel featherlight and so incredibly warm; with Hyunjae it’s like dipping your feet into the cool azure sea and feeling the sun slowly crawl up your skin as it rises, a total dream.

With Hyunjae on your mind (as usual) you roll out of bed, feet finding your bedroom floor and a groan parting from your lips when you feel how stiff your body is. You massage the back of your neck as you roll your head slowly to the left and then the right, sighing when you slide your feet into your slippers and push yourself up.

A shower sounds heavenly right now. And with Kevin coming over… well Changmin said soon, you needed to make sure that you were nice and clean to try on your finished dress. He had made you try it on last night, but took it back home to finish it off and make sure it was perfectly fitted for your body. Though it was very strange to try on a dress blindfolded, Kevin said it’s bad luck to see your dress before your birthday… Like, is that even a thing?

You push open the bathroom door letting it swing shut with a click, quickly getting to pulling your clothes from your body and dumping them in the laundry basket. You pull your towels from the shelves, placing them on the rack within reach when you step out the shower, then go over to turn the shower knobs until the water reaches the temperature you like.

Moving beneath the water you feel your muscles relax under its hot touch, your eyes slipping shut as the remaining sleep you felt is washed away. Your mind drifts back to Hyunjae while you scrub your body and properly wet your hair. You wonder if Hyunjae is awake already, if he’s looking forward to seeing you as much as you are him. No— stop these silly thoughts. Rubbing the shampoo into your hair you clear the thought from your mind, reminding yourself it’s useless to think such a thing. You know Hyunjae is a man of action, that he’s a very open and honest person and that if there was even a miniscule chance that he liked you back he would have made it known by now.

Your hair sits in a bubbly cloud atop your head and you move to grab for your shower gel, squeezing a decent amount into your hand and lathering it on your body. You instead start to wonder what he will wear today. He hadn’t found anything for himself the day you all went shopping and surely he’d gone out in his free time with you all having started work already.

With the theme being purple you start to picture him in the colour — your favourite colour. There are so many shades that would suit him, from the soft tones of lavender to the heavy and dark hues of grape. It’s easy for your mind to dress him in pale cloudy cotton shirts, or maybe a deep plum turtleneck which you know would look dashing on him. Your mind slips up and allows you to think how would he look next to me?

After rinsing out your hair and the gel from your body you turn off the shower, letting some excess drip off your body and then step out onto the shower rug. The towel feels nice wrapped around your freshly cleaned body, drops of water splattering across the floor when you bow your head to wrap a towel around your hair.

You go through the motions after wiping the condensation from the mirror to brush your teeth and do your face routine, all the while thinking of how bad you want to see Hyunjae.

When you slide your dry feet back into your slippers and walk out of the bathroom and back into your bedroom you hear your phone going off. You see that you have a missed call notification and quickly go to answer your phone before you miss it again.

It’s Kevin.

“Hey, bub... Yep. Okay, I’m just getting dressed... Cool, see you soon.”

Quickly drying yourself off, you pull out your underwear and some casual clothes, putting them on after using some body cream and deodorant. With your hair still wrapped in the towel you head toward the kitchen and put the kettle on, pulling out two mugs for you and Kevin.

It’s still relatively early and you have hours until the party. And some silly part of you wants to message Hyunjae to come over before then. You don’t think that would be too weird. Afterall, you both are friends and it’s not like you both haven’t been in your apartment alone together before. Maybe you can just tell him you want someone to chill with before you’re swept up by all your friends. Because now you’re realising that even if he is going to be at the party, there’s no guarantee that you’ll actually get to spend time with him.

“Fuck. Am I whipped or am I whipped?” Your inner turmoil is cut off when the kettle clicks, steam rising through the spout and the water bubbling away. As you’re making the cups of tea the buzzer goes off and you rush over to buzz Kevin up, then finish up making the tea and bring the mugs over to your coffee table in the living room.

Kevin arrives in no time, knocking lightly on the door and as soon as you’ve pulled it open he has a huge loving smile on his face, his free arm stretched out to engulf you in a hug as he wishes you happy birthday.

“How’s it feel to be a year older?” He asks after stepping into your apartment and taking off his shoes. He follows you to the sofa, laying the garment bag carefully over the back of it along with a plain gift bag.

You fall down onto the sofa, smiling with a sigh. “No different than when I was a year younger.”

He only hums thoughtfully, giving you a teasing smile. “Just wait. You’ll feel the difference soon. Trust me.”

You laugh, lightly kicking his shin with your foot. “Gee, thanks.”

Kevin picks up his mug, blowing briefly before bringing the rim to his lips and taking a tentative sip. “Ooo, you remember how I like it.”

“Of course.”

He places the mug back down and reaches next to him for the gown. You sit up, excited to finally see his work of art. “I made the length a little longer, even though I know you liked the length before, but only because I added a slit. You gotta bare those lush thighs babe.”

“Speak for yourself. I hope you’re planning to show up in the tightest and shortest hot pants if we’re talking about showing off.” Kevin smirks, standing up to unzip the bag.

You gasp upon seeing it. Eyes wide and sparkling the longer you look at the beautiful dress. It’s dark purple, solid tones making up the bodice shaped like a corset with the skirt part embroidered with flowers in a slightly darker purple. The skirt cuts into two pointed pieces and as Kevin had said one of the sides has a slit running up it, but you notice plum material under the skirt, assuming that Kevin had gone for a sort of layered look. All in all it's gorgeous.

“Right, go try it on because if the under skirt doesn’t fit over that ass of yours I’m gonna have to alter it in time for the party.” You laugh, but grab for the hanger not having to be told twice.

In your room you lay the dress down gently as if it’s as fragile as glass and then squeal in excitement as you start to strip. You feel like it's prom again or something, acting like a bride who’s found their perfect dress.

The bodice has pretty hoops and buttons on the side rather than a zip and you’re careful to undo the fiddly clasps. You put your feet through after the bodice parts wider and pull the dress carefully, slowly up your body, already sighing at the feel of the silk on your skin. You have to wiggle your hips slightly when pulling the under skirt down your thighs and as Kevin had so eloquently put it that ass. You reach under the skirt to pull down the bunched material, smoothing it out before you lift the bodice against your chest, using your other hand to push it against your back. It’s fiddly and takes time for you to get a proper hold of, but eventually you manage to awkwardly hold a part under your arm so you can start to button it.

You walk over to your mirror, readjusting your breasts in the bodice and smoothing out the bottom of your dress. When you see your reflection you swear to Almighty that you nearly cry. Not that you ever doubted Kevin’s skill, but the dress on you is almost too good to be true. You feel as expensive as you look and you haven’t even done your makeup or anything yet.

There’s a knock at your door and then an impatient whine courtesy of Kevin to ask what’s taking so long and you quickly move — skipping like a child — over to the door, pulling it open and holding your arms out as if to say ta-da! Kevin is as mesmerised as you it seems, jaw slack and eyes comically wide as he takes in the sight of you in his creation.

“Did not have feelings for you before… Might start now…” He mumbles in a daze.

You only laugh at him, rolling your eyes as you walk back over to the mirror to admire yourself some more. “You mean you have feelings for your dress.”

Kevin moves behind you placing his hands on your shoulders and peaking around you to stare at your reflection. “But you in my dress is just— wow. I knew I was good, but this good?”

You turn around and your eyes soften with your smile when you look up at Kevin. “Thank you so much. Seriously. I think this is the best present I could have got.”

You lean forward and embrace Kevin in a hug which he returns, lips by your ear when he says, “Well I may have done a present better than this.” You pull back, arching a brow in question and he only chuckles, pulling away and booping you on the nose. “You’ll know soon enough. Anyway now that we know the dress is good to go — God I’m so glad I don’t have to alter it — you should put it away for now.”

You pout with a defensive whine, hands coming up to cover your chest when you move away from Kevin in protest. He only gives you a firm and disapproving look.

“It’s hours until the party and I won’t have you ruining it before you even get a chance to show it off.”

“I wo——-nt.” Your whining does nothing to deter Kevin from moving your body sideways and undoing the dress himself.

“Alright alright I’ll take it off. Jheeze.” You want to wipe that smug smile off his face.

“I just realised… I don’t know if I have shoes that will go!” Kevin rolls his eyes almost as if he predicted this… Because he did.

“Call me fairy godmother— father?man? Whatever. Point is I got shoes and even a cute clutch to go with too. They don’t call me a visionary for nothing.”

“People call you that?”

He pauses, looking to the ceiling in thought. “Well they should.” He concludes.

After redressing in your casual clothes Kevin finishes his cup of tea and gives you the gift bag that contains the shoes and bag to go with your dress just as he has to leave to do some last minute things at his workshop and then get ready himself for the party.

Now alone in your apartment all you can do is lounge on the sofa in your sweatpants and tee, scrolling through your phone to reply to birthday messages and mindlessly look through your insta feed.

It’s when you turn on the TV and the 12 o’clock news comes on that you realise it is now afternoon (kind of) and you revisit your idea from earlier of inviting Hyunjae over. You could ask him around for some pre-drinks. Telling him that because Changmin said he would be driving the both of you over to the venue you just thought he deserved some fun first. He’d have hours to sober up and it’s not as if you would be going crazy…

To; Jae: Hey Hyunjae, here's an idea… come over to mine for some pre drinks… please 🥺

From; Jae: I’m driving…

To; Jae: Yeaaa but if you come over now we have time to drink and for you to sober up until we have to leave 👀

From; Jae: True… But I don’t wanna ruin my clothes either

To; Jae: So come in normal clothes and get dressed here before we go duh 🤪

From; Jae: ...ok give me twenty

You grin, throwing your phone to the side and head into the kitchen, pulling out a large mixing bowl and some alcohol.

You’ve never drank with Hyunjae per say, only when you met him at Haknyeon’s party a couple years ago and maybe a few casual beers during get togethers after that. You think back to when you first met him, a tipsy glaze in your eyes and warm body after the brief introduction to him. You couldn’t recall seeing much of him that night — well you wouldn’t, considering how many shots you had done with Changmin and Eric and the downing competitions you had engaged in with Juyeon and Hak. But, he had left a lasting impression on you for sure.

One that only grew when you’d met him the times following the first, noticing his calm and gentle demeanour despite seeming so looming and boisterous, he was and still is nothing like how he appears, always friendly and soft spoken and full of sunshine like smiles, playful and doting on your friends and letting them get away with almost anything.

And that was how you found yourself crushing on the sweetheart.

Of course, you never said anything. Only to Changmin during one of your nights in after work, bottle of prosecco opened and a loose tongue when Changmin ranted about his lack of romance and sex. ‘Ugh well I can’t even bring myself to tell the person I like that I do.’ You had complained and of course Changmin and his sharp ears caught onto your slurred words, his head flying in your direction and his body moving to shuffle closer to you, practically laying his tipsy body atop of yours eager to know more.

The rest is history and though you appreciate Changmin’s ability to keep his mouth shut about important things such as your new crush, it didn’t mean he never sought an opportunity to tease you, or push you in Hyunjae’s direction.

But, you convinced the boy it was completely one sided and that nothing would come of it. After months that neared an entire year of you staring longingly at the man though, Changmin had had enough. And that’s why he found a chance in your birthday to get you both closer together and finally confess. Because while you are completely oblivious to Hyunjae’s feelings, it wasn’t hard for Changmin, or anyone else for that matter to catch onto the mirroring gazes you both throw at each other when the other isn’t looking.

You pull out some tumble glasses and decide that you’d wait for Hyunjae to show up before you actually made anything, instead dropping your body back onto the sofa and flicking through the channels until the music station appears.

It’s playing something upbeat, a garage tune that makes you think of your younger days, afternoon sun feeding through the kitchen window and your mum dancing along to its catchy beat.

The buzzer goes off and you realise how much time must’ve passed when you shoot up and reach the intercom to let Hyunjae up. You’re practically vibrating in your spot by the door, overcome with nerves and excitement to spend some more time alone with him.

Gazing through the peephole you instantly spot his head of hair, messy from fingers pushing it this way and that and before he can even raise his hand up to knock you pull the door open with a beaming smile.

“Hi.” You say near breathless and you swallow the dryness that suddenly overcomes your throat, tearing your eyes away from his to allow him inside when he returns your greeting.

He goes through his regular motions of taking off his shoes and hanging up his jacket, his beanie half hanging from his pocket. He turns to you in the kitchen, holding up the garment bag that you assume holds his outfit and looks at you unsure.

“Here.” You say, walking toward him with your hand held out. “I’ll leave this on Min’s bed. You can get changed there.” Hyunjae’s breath subtly hitches when your fingers brush against his and he forces himself to smile and make his mouth form thank you when you pull the bag away and turn to walk towards Changmin’s room.

Hyunjae isn’t sure if alcohol, despite him having a good tolerance, will help his nerves or make it worse.

When you return you’re still smiling and Hyunjae can feel his being melting, nearing non-functional when he stands before a sight as beautiful as you.

“I’m making punch but be warned it’s famous for tasting like juice and getting you fucked.”

Hyunjae’s brows fly up so high they could touch his hairline when he hears you swear. Of course, he’s heard you drop the odd insult to Changmin or Sunwoo here and there, only to call them little shits or something along the line, but he doesn’t know why hearing the casual swear word leave your lips makes the word sound less vulgar, rather it sounds sweet. Maybe this is the silly train of thoughts that come with being whipped, he thinks.

Instead of acting like a complete weirdo he laughs and moves closer to watch what you’re doing; you take the ice from your freezer and dump a decent amount into a bowl, twirling the bag till it’s sealed and replacing it in the freezer drawer, then move onto pouring out plenty of alcohol and topping it with some tropical juice from your fridge.

You give Hyunjae a cheesy grin when you pull a ladle from your drawer and quickly fill both of your cups.

“Cheers.” You say, quickly clinking your glass against his.

“Happy birthday.” The rim of your glass pauses at your lips with your eyes peering into the warmth of Hyunjae’s and with a barely concealed smile you thank him, because that will probably be your most favourite happy birthday you’ve ever received.

“Wow, that’s refreshing. You can barely taste the alcohol.”

“That’s exactly why it’s dangerous.”

Hyunjae laughs, pouring himself some more, peeking at you when you give him a look. He shrugs when he effortlessly goes through his second cup. “Sometimes you gotta live dangerously.”

“You did not just say that.” You laugh and Hyunjae starts to chuckle along, drinking his third cup much slower.

You pour yourself another cup and move over to your small kitchen table, going back to carefully retrieve the bowl and ladle. Hyunjae joins you at the table, sitting opposite you with the music channel still playing in the background.

“How’s your birthday been so far?”

“Like a regular day,” you chuckle, “I got woken up by Changmin’s loud ass. Then Kevin came around with my dress and I was just chilling. Since Min said you’re picking me up anyway I was hoping you’d be free to keep me company.”

“I’m surprised you wanted me to keep you company.” At his comment you tilt your head questioningly. “Well I just… I know I came last time and it was just us, but I wasn’t sure if you felt awkward around me…”

You frown at his words, wondering what gave him that impression and cursing your awkward self for making your crush doubt that you actually enjoyed his presence.

“Hyunjae, I feel totally comfortable around you. I really like your company. Sorry if I gave the impression I didn’t… I can be awkward at times.”

You watch Hyunjae take another sip from his cup, placing it down and shifting the cup side to side lightly with his fingers, eyes trained on the cup. “Good. That makes me… Happy. I really like your company too.”

Oh how easy this man could make your heart beat faster.

“Well, cheers to good company.”

—

Time passes until the bowl is nearly empty and by that time you have both moved to the sofa, the music louder and your laughs overpowering any beat coming through your TV. The alcohol has made your face hot, as you predicted hitting you both quickly and unsuspectingly with the speed it had been consumed at.

Hyunjae just amazed you with his dance skills, easily moving to the house beat playing and making you laugh and cheer for him with his head bangs and shuffling, slipping numerous times in his sock clad feet.

He crashes against your cushions beside you, panting heavily while you’re left in drunken awe. For a moment it’s quiet between you both, but then Hyunjae’s brows pinch together in thought and he turns his head to you. “Hey I just realised. Aren’t you meant to get birthday beats or something?”

“Are you gonna hit me?” You shriek, giggling at the thought at first then wincing when you actually think of how painful a hit from Hyunjae might be.

“Pfft… not hard.” He teases. “I guess I could give you kisses instead of beats.” The way he said that so casually has you stilling, laughter catching in your throat when your gaze falls heavy onto his face; his head has fallen back into the cushions so he’s staring up at the ceiling, except his eyes are closed and he looks so… Serene and totally not flustered unlike you.

Noticing your silence he lifts his head and swings his head to look at you. For a moment, a long moment, his eyes are stuck on yours, almost searching, depths full of that familiar honey sweetness and summer warmth and it's so tempting to take a step into them, to get stuck and sink and let your being be swallowed whole.

His eyes move then. And you think his jaw clenches, though you’re unsure why. “I guess you’d rather Changmin did that.” He almost spits and the subtle hostility in his otherwise calming voice throws you from your thoughts, brows raising in surprise and confusion.

“Changmin?” You frown, shifting in your spot whilst trying to gauge why he would even mention your roommate.

Before he can even say anything, however, there is a distinct and shrill noise coming from your phone. Your alarm that you had set earlier sometime to let you both know when it was time to start sobering up and get dressed.

Hyunjae downs the last of his drink and then pushes himself to stand silently, leaving you to look up at him with parted lips and murky eyes, still confused by the sudden change in mood between you both.

“Time to get dressed.” He mumbles. And just like that you’re left to simmer in your own thoughts, wondering what on earth had just happened and why he seemed so… cold. In the time you’ve known Hyunjae he’s made you feel many things, but never that.

—

After having downed plenty of water and even nibbling on some toast, you returned to your room. Hyunjae hadn’t come out in the roughly twenty minutes you had been lounging around and though you tried to convince yourself it was only because he was still getting ready, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Now in front of your vanity after having another quick shower that didn’t help with sorting your thoughts at all, you set to doing your makeup, unable to even bring yourself to be excited for the party, too stuck in your anxiety-riddled thoughts that you had done something wrong, upset Hyunjae somehow, though you still don’t know how. His comment about kissing you seemed offhand, as if he was joking and while to you kissing Hyunjae meant everything, you’re sure to him it was minor, so once again you’re left overthinking, feeling too much and all in all dejected.

The motions of putting on your makeup and then parting your hair to start styling it feel empty, as if you’re not present in the room. You’re wondering if you should confront him. But, then again, you don’t want to make things worse, much less before the party.

But this is important.

You sigh for what seems like the millionth time when you stand, moving over to put your dress on.

The sight of your dress out of its bag once more makes you feel a little better. The purples and the material pulling you in to admire its beauty. It makes you snap out of your thoughts. It's your birthday. You can’t be an emotional mess on your birthday. Well you can but not before anything even started. And you know if Changmin saw you right now he’d tell you to grow up and get a shot down you… His definition of growing up at least.

The dress is like a second skin, fitting you perfectly, but still giving you enough room to breathe. You adore how it accentuates all the parts you’re confident in and smooths out the parts that you’re, to be honest, a little insecure about. Showing your legs a few years ago was a big no for you, and wearing something tight was an even bigger no, but the dress makes you feel what you are: beautiful, though you don’t always feel it. You guess that’s partly the reason you were so reluctant and afraid of your feelings for Hyunjae and if he ever found out. It had taken years to build your self esteem and you’re not even 100% there, not by a long run, but when you looked at him and then yourself it made you feel as if your progress hit zero again. And not because he had made you feel that way, no, Hyunjae was not that type of person. But you guess younger you and the thoughts you had, reared its ugly head the moment you began to fall for the God-like man.

And it’s why whatever happened earlier makes you feel a billion times worse.

Taking a few deep breaths and looking yourself in the eyes you give yourself a little pep-talk, try smiling at yourself and when you felt a semblance of normal you nod your head and turn to get the bag with your shoes and clutch and leave your room.

You decided that you would confront Hyunjae about earlier. Not awkwardly (you hope), but maybe just to get some clarity and in your style mask it with humour.

You hear the tap running in the kitchen and figure Hyunjae’s getting some water. It gives you time to pause at the corridor's mouth before you come into view and think over what to say.

Though, words don’t find you and you figure it's best to treat this situation like a bandaid; just rip it off.

“I cannot wait for Chan’s food.” You say chirply, moving into the open space and toward the small island. “I’ve been thinkin—” You freeze in your tracks. Eyes trained on Hyunjae’s broad back at the sink. He turns hearing your voice and his eyes move the same as yours — over your dress.

The material is… identical to yours, shirt made of the same purple fabric and embroidered in that darker purple the exact same way. The shirt parts at his chest, baring his smooth defined skin and making your breath stutter. His greyish suit pants sit high on his hips, two lapels neatly folded over at his waist and you catch the peak of simple streaks of material wrapped around it as a makeshift belt, one strand the same material as his shirt and the other a contrast of leopard's print. Like the clutch Kevin had given you.

Swallowing your shock you breathe out the few words you can. “You look…” At the sound of your voice Hyunjae seems to break from his daze, eyes no longer trained on the dress you shine like a goddess in and instead he finds your eyes, expression as awestruck as yours.

“You look beautiful…” It’s tense and silent between you both, the kitchen island parting you seeming to be more obstructing now that you wish you could cross over the few steps and pull him in by his shirt without thought. “Kevin. He um. Changmin messaged me to say Kevin would make me something to wear… Actually I think he came to see me the same day we met. Nice guy…” He trails off, seeming to be at a loss, much like you.

You can only nod mutely, not sure why Kevin would make Hyunjae, a stranger, something to wear for your party, much less an identical piece. You could try and rationalise that Kevin had left over material (you don’t know it, but as per usual, the answer to that is Ji Changmin.) and given the short amount of time he had to come up with something, using it and making a shirt would seem plausible, but why, why the same as you, why dress him as if you both are something more to each other.

You don’t want to allow your thoughts to go there anymore. Even your plan to mention that strange moment from earlier has left your mind. No. Now you just want to go to your party, have fun and forget even for a little while.

“Are you sober?” You eventually ask.

Hyunjae simply nods, turning back to the sink to allow the gushing water to fill his glass and quickly gulping it down. “I feel fine.” He says, not even looking at you now. “It’s been a good few hours now. I have a high tolerance anyway.”

You nod despite him not looking at you. Really, you don’t think you can find your voice right now.

Then he turns. “Shall we get going?”

—

The journey over to the venue was mostly in silence, apart from the radio that you were thankful to Hyunjae for turning on. Sitting in the passenger seat right next to him didn’t help with your nerves or anxiety. For some reason thing’s just felt weird between you both right now. And it was messing with your head because it had never been like that between you both before.

So when Hyunjae pulled up to the venue you were practically ready to zoom from the car — cartoon style.

Shockingly, you’re stilled by a very noticeable hand on your thigh. You tense up and he senses your discomfort, quickly pulling his hand away and when you look over a flush has overcome his cheeks.

“S-sorry. For that and um… earlier. I feel like… Things have got weird between us? I don’t know ,it just feels different and I don’t want it to be.” He confesses.

You don’t know how to respond, but you feel your lips lift into a small smile, the invisible weight pulling down on your heart breaking away and setting it free and you let out a relieved sigh. “I’m sorry too. I don’t… know what happened to be honest. But, I don't want it to be different either.”

And it’s with those words and matching smiles that you both leave his car and walk toward the venue.

As you both approach the doors, Hyunjae does a kind of cute skip jog thing over towards them, reaching it before you and pulling it open to hold it for you. You smile at his chivalry thanking him as you step past, him following after you.

Inside, you both enter the lobby and notice the sign with your name and reading party this way. The corridors are long and plain leading to the room which is why when you actually reach it you gasp in amazement.

Changmin, with the help of Haknyeon and whoever they managed to rope in, has managed to completely transform the room you’ve hired.

They’ve kept to the theme and the season; light purple snowflakes made of soft and bristly fabric, spots of mini fluorescent lights embedded in them, fake snow dusting the edges of the room contradicting the plastic palm trees, round tables with glass candle holders shaped like pineapples and sparkly white tinsel wrapped around to nest it in; a tropical and purple winter.

Sparkles seem to glitter in your eyes as you take in the hard work of your friends and when you spot Changmin emerging from a backroom already bickering with Chanhee your body pushes forward away from Hyunjae who watches you crash into Changmin’s arms.

Immediately Hyunjae feels the dark thunderous cloud that had been looming over him earlier on return headstrong, his insides rattling with its ferocity the longer he watches you fuss over Changmin with loosely linked hands swinging back and forth and amazed eyes tracing the room.

Suddenly it all feels pointless. His plans to finally confess. His presence. His friendship with you. He had always thought himself to be a logical person who could accept rejection easily, and in the past he had. If someone didn’t return his feelings it was easy enough for him to move past that and if they happened to be friends too it was easy for him to continue on in that manner.

But you.

It hurts too much.

Just when he’s thinking of leaving it seems as if a whole crowd of people have swept the entrance, moving around Hyunjae suffocatingly. Amongst the crowd is Kevin, your friend and the man responsible for your couple outfits.

He smiles as soon as he spots Hyunjae.

“Hyunjae!” Politely, Hyunjae smiles, offering a small borderline awkward wave of his hand to the man in a lilac suit. “You look great!” Kevin compliments as soon as he’s in front of Hyunjae and before Hyunjae can reply, Kevin’s eyes find you and he nods to himself with a small barely contained smile stretching across cherry red lips. “You both look great.”

He gestures his head toward you and Hyunjae’s eyes magnetise to you immediately, sighing without prompt and voice almost lost when he says yea, she does and Kevin doesn’t miss the shine in his eyes, nor the way his stare is unable to leave you for a long moment, leaving him to smirk at the man who he agrees as Changmin had said is not as inconspicuous as he believes. Because Kevin could spot that look a mile away; the adoration melting the brown of his eyes into something warm and sweet like liquid hot honey, his expression totally relaxed and dazed, almost hypnotised as he looks at you and he only snaps out of it when Kevin chuckles.

Raising his brow at Hyunjae when he turns back to look at him, his cheeks instantly tinting like the redness of a rose and he clears his throat, trying to appear unaffected and absolutely failing. “You look great together.” Kevin softly says and Hyunjae’s brows screw together at his words, lips parting as if to question him, but before he can Kevin speaks again. “I’m gonna go wish the birthday girl, well a happy birthday.” And just like that he walks away, leaving Hyunjae to stand there staring at the back of Kevin’s head as he approaches you.

At the sight of Kevin your voice pitches into an excited squeal and he watches you engulf Kevin in a warm hug. He can read your lips as you say thank you and then Kevin must say something to you, because your eyes flutter almost nervously and flit over to Hyunjae who’s eyes widen and turn away as if he hadn’t been watching you.

“I was telling Hyunjae that you both look great together.” The mere word of together brings a heat to your skin, laugh a stutter of nerves when you lightly hit his arm, Changmin sipping his drink in amusement. “I mean it. You both look amazing.”

“Yeah, but why say it like that?” You huff, fanning your face.

“Because it’s true. You and him look good together.” You don’t know how to reply, only knowing that his words have made you flustered and that you can’t help but agree that even if it was unintentional (which you’re beginning to think it wasn’t) the both of you in your matching clothes make for a very pretty pairing.

Though, the thoughts turn sour when once more you remind yourself that while the aesthetic is there, it doesn’t matter, because you’re not together and Hyunjae, no way, would he share the same sentiment as you, nor would his heart flutter the way yours does at the idea of actually being together.

Changmin seems to sense the drop in your mood and grabs your hand. “Let’s do some shots.” Kevin makes Changmin pout when he reminds him that he isn't much of a drinker and then teasingly adds, “and you haven’t been much of one lately now I think about it,” referring to how Changmin has been losing the heavyweight battle against alcohol lately, “so don’t upstage the birthday girl.” Changmin rolls his eyes in response, telling Kevin to fuck off playfully and then he turns with your hand still in his to walk to the bar.

“Two shots of xo cafe patron please.” The bartender nods and gets to sorting out your drinks and Changmin notices how quiet you are, nudging you with his arm. “Hey. What’s up?”

“Nothing— Nothing.” You’re too quick to say, but your sigh tells Changmin otherwise.

“How was the drive over?”

“Fine.”

He quirks his brow at you, the both of you thanking the bartender when he places two shot glasses on the counter. “Just fine?” Again you sigh and Changmin can tell you’re hesitating by the opening and closing of your mouth. “Spit it out, girl.”

The both of you pick up your shot glasses and back the sweet but burning liquid in one clean shot.

“Something weird happened with Hyunjae.” When Changmin remains quiet, only speaking to request two more shots you sigh, mulling over your thoughts as you think of how to say what’s been playing on your mind. “So. I invited him over earlier for drinks. And… And everything was fine, but then I dunno, there was something about beats and kisses and — “

“— Ooo kinky”

“No, Changmin. Anyway when he said about the kisses I guess I froze? I don’t know what my face was like but I guess it rubbed him the wrong way, because he kinda got moody… But before I could talk to him about it, it was time to get ready and then later we both apologised for things being weird without like saying what the weird thing was and I just— . I. don't. Know.” Once more the bartender places the shots on the counter as you finish your rant, but this time you don’t wait for Changmin, instead quickly picking up the shot and backing it before Changmin could so much as blink.

“Right…” He trails off, eyeing you with concern. “What do you mean kisses though — I’m confused. Why was that mentioned?”

You sigh, taking Changmin’s shot glass this time and now he’s really concerned. “He made a joke about giving me birthday beats and then said something like well I guess I could give you birthday kisses instead and I can’t remember saying anything but then he got really weird and— wait he said something about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” you say with a nod, frowning as you recall exactly what happened. “He said I guess you’d rather kiss Changmin and I was just confused because he sounded so… cold… it was so odd. And then before I could ask what he meant by that the alarm to get ready went off and he basically walked away from me…”

Changmin turns his body directly into yours and gives you a look of disbelief. “Oh. My. God.”

Leaning against the counter you sigh for what must be the hundredth time in under five minutes. “I know.” You mutter dejectedly.

“No. Oh my God, he was jealous!”

It takes you a moment to register Changmin’s words. To actually try and digest them, to make sense of it, because there is just no way… Though you tell yourself that, you start to think and think and attempt to rationalise with yourself that maybe Changmin’s right, which is something you never thought you’d say in the first place, but there really is no other plausible explanation for him to mention kissing you and then mention Changmin and then act so... Off.

“But wait, what do you have to do with it then? Why would he randomly mention you?”

Changmin’s eyes are sparkling, a river of secrets as he looks at you with a small smile. “I think that Hyunjae thinks that you like me and that’s why he hasn’t confessed yet and it’s also why he mentioned me.” Hasn’t confessed yet echoes back at you.

In the seconds Changmin starts to ramble on about how annoying you and Hyunjae are and that one of you needs to make a move, you’ve already tuned him out, the air ghosting your skin in a warm static touch and like two ends of a magnetic coming together your head turns and you meet Hyunjae’s eyes.

You’re still unsure. Still filled with so many doubts.

But for once you don’t want to live in your insecurities and uncertainty and it's what has your legs moving, leaving behind Changmin and finding yourself growing closer and closer to Hyunjae.

You miss the greetings from friends and family, miss the way Changmin calls your name, miss the movement of the lights and the sound of the music, you miss it all because every part of you is focused on the man that you’ve wanted for so unbelievably long.

And he’s staring right back, rooted to the spot he had felt lost in mere seconds ago until he met your compelling eyes and felt himself sink and maybe he feels like he’s drowning right now, because you’re so close yet so far, especially far from being his it seems, but the way you take his breath away, the way you make every inch of him react washes him in a calm that makes him embrace the metaphorical water filling his lungs right now.

As soon as you’re toe to toe, your hand curls around his neck, your other clutching at his shirt in desperation and without a second thought you’re dragging him down to meet your lips.

The ferocity in which you lay your lips on his should have made it hard and messy, but it's the complete opposite. His lips are so unbelievably soft that it's no surprise that you melt against him, but he does too, melts in a way that makes his hands come up to carefully cup your cheeks, the fragility of kissing you something he treats with care, because he cannot believe this is happening and he does not want to ruin it in anyway; his lips move languid, sensual, in a way that makes you feel like you’re swallowing embers of the sun that light up your insides, you’re singed, feverishly hot and still he kisses you back so slow your fingers dig harder to mirror the painful clench of your heart.

You don’t know when you both part, or rather, you don’t know how long you both spent unable to part, but there’s barely room to regain your breath anyway. He’s so close, his warm breath mingling with yours and his head resting against yours and your hand meets one of his, his thumb ceasing its stroking when your fingers curl around his palm and you press your face deeper into its comfort.

It feels like it takes time before you are able to open your eyes and even then it's barely, just enough that you can gaze up at him, finding that he’s already staring down at you.

“I only want to kiss you.” You whisper, voice heavy with emotion. “Okay?”

He doesn’t respond at first and those insecurities and uncertainties catch up for a split second when you wonder if this isn’t what he wants at all.

But he leans back down, pecking your lips and then moving his hand to your nape and his other down your back and around your waist to pull you into him when he takes your breath away with another kiss. “Okay.” He mumbles against your mouth.

“ABOUT FUCKING TIME.” Your head drops to Hyunjae’s chest as you laugh at Changmin, realising you’ve just kissed Hyunjae in the middle of your party in front of everyone.

But, you can’t deny that he isn’t right — it is about fucking time.

#ficscafe #kdiner #deobiwritersnet #kwritersworldnet #hyunjae fluff #hyunjae angst #hyunjae fanfic #the boyz fluff #the boyz angst #the boyz fanfic #tbz fluff #tbz angst #tbz scenarios #tbz fanfic #hyunjae scenarios #the boyz scenarios #hyunjae x reader

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cloudykyu · 3 years ago

Text

⊹ it was as if the universe was trying to make a fool of you, your lack of a soulmate mark proves that. you were the person people spent time with before they found their actual soulmate, leaving you alone to mend the heartbreak yourself each time. and for a while, you were content with being just a filler, not knowing what else you could be in this kind of world. but when someone else comes along and changes your outlook on love and life, you desperately crave to realign your own stars.

pairing: tbz hyunjae x gn reader, appearance by nct jaehyun, tbz younghoon and jacob genre: not your typical soulmate au, college au, slice of life, lots of angst sprinkled in, smidges of fluff, strangers to friends to idiots to lovers, slow burn? idk word count: 17.5k warnings: swearing, repeated heartbreak, mental health, a heated make out scene, feeling in and out of place, half proof-read, time skips with rough transitions... bear with me, i ask readers to listen to keshi towards the end to make it more !real!

mani’s notes: full length fic for this timestamp. I've been sitting on this for months now, pls just take her from me. I'm sorry if it didn't live up to your expectations >.< feedback appreciated!

most people are born with their soulmate marks, being tied to someone else from the very beginning and others have theirs appear overtime. it’s said that universe wasn’t sure who those individuals should be tied to but as they make their way through life, they set their own course for them to make their way to their other halves.

in a world where everyone is connected to someone through a single mark, you stood apart from the rest. you were the very, very few whose skin remains free of any mark. growing up, your friends and family thought that you were a part of the group who had to decide their own destiny. but when you turned 18, that’s when the strange glances and pitied looks started to be thrown your way. whoever was in charge of this soulmate thing, created this unwritten rule that if you didn’t receive a mark by the time you turned 18 then you were never going to get one.

you were meant for no one.

now a few years later, in your college years, you still didn’t bear a mark. at first, it was hard to accept and you were absolutely devastated that you didn’t have someone out there to look forward to enjoying life with. but you figured life was way too short to be sulking, so you decided to take matters into your own hands.

despite the whole soulmate bond system, people still dated around in order to fill that universal need for companionship. but it’s almost as if the universe is slapping the hands of those who dabble in ponds they’re not supposed to. relationships that aren’t with one's soulmate never last nor do they happen more than once for the same person. once you started dating someone who wasn’t your soulmate, it’ll last as long as it was meant to before one will meet the actual person they’re supposed to be with. some were lucky, never needing to give themselves to anyone one else and finding their soulmates quickly. it was cruel to have someone spend a number of years with another they know they’re not supposed to be with, but it was life.

people still dated you, but the lack of ink on your body just made you ‘free game’ as sad as it to say. some relationships lasted months and some went on for years and those are the ones that hurt the most. just when you were starting to feel like soulmate marks didn’t matter, it would suddenly come crashing down on you.

“don’t you get it, y/n?” the man screams at you. “you are nothing! you don’t even have a soulmate mark, you’re just the pretty face people spend time with before they actually find their real soulmates.”

scoffing, you attempt to hide the hurt you felt in your heart. deep down, you knew he was right but it doesn’t mean it stung any less. especially from someone who you called his for two years until he eventually found the one who shared the same mark as him, leaving you behind like he is now.

you were the person that people spent their time with before finding their actual soulmates. you were the one who never got to meet yours after it ended, repeating this never ending, lonely and burning cycle. you were just a filler to everyone who let you in.

off to the side sat hyunjae, who watched the whole encounter go down from his spot on a table in the campus courtyard. his heart was breaking for a complete stranger and for himself, his own mark missing from his skin. as your now ex-boyfriend walked off, with a “don’t call me anymore”, you were left to put yourself together again. hyunjae stared as you lowered your head, hiding your pain and embarrassment from the students passing by. you were clenching your first trying hard to steady your shaking. his legs suddenly had a mind of its own and he stood up, making his way straight to you.

looking up from your feet after hearing footsteps approach you, you thought your ex had come back to say he was sorry. that he was just playing a really mean joke on you, but you’re surprised when your eyes meet an unfamiliar gaze. hyunjae notices the tears slowly welling up in your eyes, confusion behind the clouds. “don’t listen to him,” he says, gently handing you a packet of tissues he always kept handy. sometimes he has major allergies, sometimes he’s just gotta cry too. “no mark can be a soulmate mark if you allow it.”

“thank you, stranger” you say sniffling, taking a tissue as he smiles kindly at you. “I can’t help but believe him, though. I really am just a stop in the park before they find their soulmates.” you didn’t know why you were saying this to someone you don’t know at all. he probably just felt bad seeing you breakdown in the middle of the courtyard and here you were, oversharing as usual.

“nah, the universe has other plans for you so stop settling as this so called filler” he replies, putting a comforting hand on your shoulder before walking away. “like who even says that? take care of yourself.”

as you watch him leave, you try your best to ignore the burning feeling that was left behind where he touched you.

it was time for you to get your shit together. all your wallowing and moping from the most recent failed relationship had been at the expense of your studies. missing lectures and assignments that greatly impacted your gpa because of a silly boy who threw you away like nothing wasn’t worth it anymore.

this was also a part of the ongoing and vicious cycle. after getting completely heartbroken, that sadness would turn into anger. anger at yourself for being so affected and at the one who left you for having such an effect on you. after a few weeks, you’d quickly bounce back, building up those walls again and move on with your life. as if you were preparing yourself to do it all over again.

sitting in the school library, it was empty aside from the few other students who had the same crazy idea as you. the time read 10:13 pm and you were slowly growing tired, which then escalated into frustration that you were nowhere near done with catching up. your eyes grew bleary at the amount of tiny texts you were reading on your laptop screen as well as from your textbooks. but you couldn’t give up now. just one more chapter at least. as you read and simultaneously listen to your professors recorded lecture, none of your thoughts were coherent because the notes you were writing were absolute nonsense.

omg want chimckem!!!! the brain goes brrr boom thought. professor kim low-key fine. ????? !!!!!! fuzzy sock = carpet for ur feet were some of the notes that littered your notebook page. you didn’t realize what you had wrote until you had finished reading the text and just stared at your handwriting. groaning, you drop your pen and then drop your head onto the desk you were sitting at with a thud! the sudden noise in the quiet space caused a couple students to look up, but quickly returned to their own work once they found the source. it’s no biggie, just another struggling college kid. you softly bang your head against the desk repeatedly, hoping it’ll snap you out of this fatigue instead of damaging more of your braincells.

you’re met with a sudden softness instead of the hard wood of the table, as if a cushion was just placed under your forehead. looking up, you’re met with the same eyes that found yours in the courtyard that day. they’re laced with the same concern from last time, but mixed with amusement at the same time. it might be the lack of sleep, but he’s even more gorgeous than you remembered. his brown hair was brushed to the side, exposing that amazing forehead and his lips just looked so soft.

yup, you were definitely tired.

the stranger had inserted his pack of tissues between the desk and your forehead. “are you good?” he asks, still holding onto the pack. “pretty sure you need those braincells for school.”

“I was fine,” you reply, sitting up fully. “but now I’m just embarrassed that you caught me in another moment of weakness.”

laughing, the beautiful stranger stuffs his tissue back into his backpack that’s hanging off a shoulder. “everyone has those days just as much as they have good ones, if not more. I just happened to see you on two separate occasions where you weren't your best.”

“are you stalking me, stranger?” you peer up at him curiously. “I just have to ask.”

“no, I’m not stalking you” he scoffs, low-key offended. “I don’t even know your name. I just happened to be here studying at the same time as you.” extending out a hand, you introduce yourself. and he takes it, shaking it in a greeting as he says his. “nice to meet you, y/n. you can call me hyunjae instead of stranger.”

“so is hyunjae not your real name?”

“it is my name,” he says blandly.

“but you just said I could call you hyunjae, meaning that’s not your real name” you pester and you giggle as the boy rolls his eyes.

“my name is hyunjae, alright?” he sighs. “geez, I think I liked you better when you were crying.”

taking what he said as a joke, you breathe out a laugh. “we don’t cry anymore. I’m a new person now.” hyunjae makes a face, not quite believing that statement. “if you’ll excuse me, I have to rewrite my notes because my brain suddenly shrunk in the middle of my study session.”

hyunjae reads your notebook that you hold up for him to see. shaking his head slightly with a grin, he takes it out of your grasp and closes it. “I don’t think you need to study anymore. I think you need to go home and sleep.” you let out a quiet whine of protest as hyunjae starts to walk away with your notebook, still making sure to not disturb other students any further than you already have. he looks back at you, using his head to gesture forward as if he was telling you to follow.

you remain in your seat and hyunjae stays where he was. the two of you were having a silent stare-down, challenging one another to give up first. he stood there blinking at you and you let out a huff. you weren’t gonna get your notebook back unless you complied with his wishes so you stand up to pack your belongings and hyunjae fist pumps the air in victory.

making your way out of the library, you trudge behind hyunjae’s long strides until you’re completely outside where you can use your normal voices. “okay, I’m gonna go home and sleep now. can I have my notebook back?”

“nope,” he says, popping the last syllable. he was walking slower now which allowed you to catch up. “which way are you headed?”

“I live at the dorms on campus,” you say suspiciously.

“awesome, me too” he replies, walking in the direction of the dorms. “let’s go.” you don’t follow him and he turns back for the second time that night, waiting for you to get a move on.

“I’m not walking home in the dark with someone I just met” you grumble, crossing your arms over your chest. your tiredness was turning quickly into crankiness and you were getting impatient with hyunjae.

hyunjae mirrors your pose, hip jutting out as he crosses his arms with your notebook still in hand. “and I’m not walking home in the dark alone when we live in the same place” he retorts. “come on, y/n. just walk with me, you owe me for that tissue, you know.”

“I literally took one tissue from you” you roll your eyes. “and it’s tissue! hyunjae!”

“I promise I’m not gonna try and mug you,” he says, walking to stand beside you. he puts a distance three feet between the two of you and gestures to the space. “I’ll even leave a gap in between if it makes you feel safer.”

you eye him again and he gives you a kind smile, thinking it’ll calm your nerves. it definitely worked, curse that smile, because now you were walking side by side back to the dorms with hyunjae with three feet between you two. it was silent for the first few minutes, neither of you knowing what to say and the need for sleep clouding your minds.

“so how are you holding up?” hyunjae asks, breaking the air around the two of you. “you know, since I last saw you.”

trying to come up with an honest answer, you take a second to respond. you don’t know how you were doing, honestly. you had this habit of blacking out and ignoring anything you felt whenever your relationship(s) ended. “fine I guess,” you settle for. “could be better, could be worse. still no soulmate mark so that’s kind of a bummer.”

“hey,” hyunjae snaps his fingers for emphasis. “what did I tell you? the universe probably just has other plans for you. one day, you’ll meet someone who won’t even care about a matching mark or your lack of one.”

“well they need to hurry up and save me,” you say, a heaviness in your voice. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“no matter what the universe says, I believe that there’s someone out there for everyone” he sighs, a far away look on his face. hyunjae felt like he was reassuring himself, speaking it so it could become true for him. “over seven billion people in the world and you’re telling me that some are just meant to be alone forever? yeah right. fat fucking chance, universe.”

you take in everything he says, each word pulling at your fragile heart. it’s like each sentence he spoke acted as a stitch to weave those broken pieces together, one by one. the dorm buildings come into view, signaling that it was almost time for you two to part ways. you didn’t want it to end just yet. “have you found your soulmate yet?” you ask, looking up at the boys face. street lights illuminate his features, surrounding him in a glow. “you speak about soulmates so positively and I just wanna know if it’s because you found yours yet.”

“nah,” he shakes his head. even though mentioning it might help you, he doesn’t speak about his own missing mark. “but they’ll show themselves to me one day. until then, I'm just waiting without allowing anyone to come in before them.” coming to a stop in front of your building, you start to make your way to the doors.

“are you also in this building?” you ask, pointing a thumb back at the entrance.

hyunjae shakes his head, extending his own arm to point towards the buildings further down. “I’m in that one,” he holds your notebook out for you to take and you gingerly take it from his grasp. “you have a good rest, y/n. I’ll see you around, I have a feeling that I'll definitely run into you again.”

waving, you give the boy a soft smile, tiredness evident on your face and hyunjae feels his heartbeat pick up a tiny bit faster for a second. “thanks for walking me back, hyunjae but not really hyunjae.”

he lets out a laugh, waving back at you as he watches your retreating figure. “no, thank you for walking back with me.”

when you make your way through the doors, hyunjae turns in the opposite direction that he told you he was going, back to his car that was sitting somewhere in the parking lot. truth be told, hyunjae didn’t live on campus. not even close. he just didn’t want you to be walking alone.

it was one of those days for hyunjae.

remember when i said sometimes mans just has to cry? this was one of those moments.

the heavy load of his coursework was finally taking a toll on him and his own friends weren’t available for any pick me ups so he just threw himself into his work. and everyone knows that all work and no play can quickly lean to a burnout, so here he was sat in front of his many textbooks and loose pages of notes scattered around a random table on campus he found. he figured he’d take a break from the dingy library and come outside for some fresh air, hoping the natural light will ease the strain on his eyes. but as he sits and stares at his laptop screen, nothing seems to make the dull pain in the back of his head go away.

hyunjae wanted to scream, cry, throw his laptop and textbooks around but he doesn’t. he spent way too much money on these things to be using them to let his anger out. instead, he lets out a groan and drops his head in his hands. he tugs at his own hair in frustration and as a way to ease the headache he had. it only makes it worse though (duh), and he feels his eyes well up with tears.

refusing to let them fall, he sniffles a few times as he repeats a mantra in his head. I can do this, I can do this. I cannot do this. he stays like that for a while and he silently thanks whoever was listening that he chose a not too busy spot on campus so no one can witness his breakdown.

that is, until you approach the hunched over figure in concern. you were making your way to one of the better vending machines on campus that was tucked away in this corner of the school when you heard sniffling. finding a boy who looked absolutely miserable with his head in his hands, you decided to approach him after buying two snacks.

gently placing a bag of cookies on top of their piling heap of notes, you tap the surface a few times. “hey there,” you say. “cheer up, you got this.” the person snaps their head up and you’re met with a familiar pair of eyes that you just couldn’t seem to escape lately. “hyunjae? are you okay?”

his eyes were red and you could see the faint track of tears that managed to escape down his cheek. embarrassed, he quickly goes to wipe it with a tissue from his pack. “yeah,” he gruffs. “super peachy, don’t worry about me. thanks for the snack though.” he gives you a smile in appreciation, albeit it’s a little strained. as he reaches for the snack, your face morphs in thought. he was obviously not okay and considering the two times he’s saved you from your own moments of weakness, you couldn’t just leave him.

you snatch the bag of cookies out of his hand, just as he’s about to pop one in his mouth and he lets out a whine. “you can’t just give someone a gift and take it back!” he snaps, a little hangry.

“put your stuff away,” you retort, ignoring him. “we’re gonna go and get some real food instead of vending machine cookies.”

hyunjae eyes you and then the bag of cookies, and then back to you. “no” he states. “do you not see the massive pile of agony I have to get through?” as he gestures to his study materials, you roll your eyes and take a step closer. when you’re right next to him, you grab his laptop and shut it closed, tucking it under your arm.

“can’t exactly do work without your laptop, can you?” you chide, a small smile on your face. “now let’s go! I could really go for some tacos.”

sighing, hyunjae begrudgingly packs up his belongings. this was definitely payback for what he did to you in the library, but he didn’t have the energy to fight with you any further. you walk ahead of him with a pep in your step at the thought of food and hyunjae feels a small smile grace his face as he catches up to you. “thanks by the way,” he says quietly. “I think I was about to lose my mind back there.”

“of course!” you cheer, smiling up at the boy. “you seemed to pop up when I needed it so it’s my turn to save you now.”

hyunjae felt significantly less stressed as he watched you shove a taco in your mouth. “we’re not settling for the likes of taco bell,” you said during the car ride. “we’re gonna get the real deal because we deserve better.”

so here the two of you were, sitting in the taco joint that was a few miles away from campus. he felt his mood lift up as he finally filled his stomach with something that wasn’t instant or bought from a vending machine and as you chatted away about your day. he didn’t mind though, silently listening to everything you had to say and chiming in here and there through a mouthful of food.

“and then!” you go on. “I saw my ex today, remember the one you saw breakup with me? I still can’t believe that, anyways. I saw him for the first time since that day with his soulmate and it surprisingly didn't hurt? even if he gave me a nasty ass wink when he saw me looking at them, I didn’t feel anything when I looked at them.”

hyunjae hums in thought, deciding to actually participate in this part of the conversation. “would you say it’s like acceptance?” he asks. “like even if he hurt you, you knew you weren’t meant to be together anyway.”

“oh, I knew that from the beginning” you reply, taking a sip of your drink. “I can never not think about that you know? it’s always there in the back of my mind no matter who I’m with.”

“then why do you keep doing it?” hyunjae leans forward, waiting for your answer. he’s been wanting to ask since he officially introduced himself to you.

you think for a moment, not expecting the question. no one has ever asked you why you do the things you do. they never cared enough. “I think...” you start off, trying to find the right words. “I think because I was born without a mark, I don’t want anyone or anything to limit me to who I can and cannot love. the people I date just so happen to have some sort of feelings for me, even if we both know it’s not written in the stars.” you pause, reading the look on hyunjae’s face. it’s hard to tell if he’s pitying you or just taking it all in. “the universe and everyone else seems to forget that I’m still human. I still crave all aspects of a relationship even if no one is meant to fill that role.”

hyunjae says nothing, too shocked to do so. the universe was cruel, he realized that himself, but never did he feel the need of being wanted by someone like you have. and he can’t believe that you were willing to break your heart over and over again just to get it. just to feel some sort of affection from people who were never meant to be yours.

“get that sad look off your face,” you say with a small smile, patting his hand that was outstretched on the table. “it’s fine, like you said there’s someone out there for everyone.”

hyunjae doesn’t see you for nearly a month after that. as he aimlessly made his way around campus, he’d mindlessly search for your face amongst the sea of students. when he was leaving the library after a late night study session, he’d walk slowly back to his car, hoping to cross your path and offer you another walk home. he lived everyday since then looking forward to an encounter with you, but his hopes were quickly crushed when you were nowhere to be found.

he hopes you were okay. he hopes you were happy with where you are right now. it’s crazy how he wishes nothing but love and acceptance for a stranger but he couldn’t help himself. hyunjae saw so much of himself in you with the way you fret over your missing mark. he remembers his own turmoil when he turned 18 and nothing bloomed on his skin to signify that he had a other half out there.

wherever you were, whatever you were doing, he asks whoever was listening to give you peace.

laying in his bed, he was about to call it a night when his phone pinged with a text.

unknown: hey hyunjae unknown: it’s y/n, I hope it’s not weird I found your number through the schools student listing lmao

it was as if you knew he was thinking about you, presenting yourself in front of him to answer all the questions he’s been wondering about. with an unknown giddiness, he types a reply back.

hyunjae: kinda weird, but its cool. who’s the stalker now :p y/n: I had no idea where to find you so I had to go to extreme measures ok don’t judge hyunjae: yeah sure, just say you miss me and go hyunjae: what’s up tho?

the boy nervously waits for a reply, watching the three dots to indicate that you were typing disappear and reappear for a good minute.

y/n: I have an extra ticket to an art exhibit that the museum is hosting... was wondering if you’d like to come with? hyunjae: with you? ofc

standing outside of the museum, you nervously wait for hyunjae to arrive. your two friends, jacob and younghoon, curiously watched you pace back and forth.

“calm down y/n,” younghoon tsks. “you’re gonna blow away all the art if you don't stop pacing.”

“sorry,” you squeak. “I'm just a little angsty right now.” your friends didn’t understand why. just last night, you were excited to see this special exhibit with someone you recently became acquainted with. “I didn’t exactly tell him what kind of night this was gonna be.”

when texting the details to hyunjae, you may have purposely left out that it was a soulmate/couples thing. the exhibit’s theme was ‘half of a whole’ and the pieces highlighted the fact that people had a part of themselves out there, whether they knew it or not. you were really trying to look at your own soulmate situation in a new light thanks to the pieces of advice that hyunjae had given to you. slowly, you were trying to convince yourself that someone was out there waiting for you.

you invited hyunjae as a thank you for being there during your weakest moments to bring you back up. and for paying for your tacos that one time. and also because you didn’t want to third wheel jacob and younghoon. mainly because you don’t want to third wheel jacob and younghoon and you were really hoping that he wouldn’t be weirded out by the whole thing or think that you were trying to push yourself onto him since he didn’t find his soulmate yet.

you didn’t have time to fret anymore over how hyunjae would react as you can spot him making his way towards the group. gaze finally landing on you, hyunjae waves his hand ecstatically with a bright smile on his face. waving back, you whisper to your friends. “be cool okay guys?”

“tell yourself that,” jacob snickers. he and younghoon wave at the tall figure approaching them with kind looks on their faces. “hey, what’s up man? it’s nice to meet you.”

“likewise,” hyunjae greets. they go around sharing their names and greetings as you stand off to the side, basically shaking. “good to see you again, y/n. feels like you’ve been running from me.” the taller boy ruffles your hair affectionately and you swat his hand way.

“I wasn’t running away from you,” you huff, fixing the mess he created on your head. “just got kinda busy. and I was the one who was looking for you on campus.”

“no way,” he shakes his head. “that’s not true cause I was looking for you whenever I was out.”

younghoon and jacob watch the whole scene go down. it was almost as if the two of you completely forgot that they were there, hyunjae quickly turning to talk to you once he said hello the the soulmate couple. they share knowing looks with one another, small smiles on their faces. “let’s head in?” jacob interrupts, taking the lead.

“welcome to half of a whole,” the person in the ticket booth greets. “what a lovely soulmate group we have here. I just need to see your tickets.”

blushing, you rush to correct the person. you didn’t want hyunjae to think anything wrong. “oh no! we’re not—” you’re interrupted by hyunjae shoving his way in front of you. he hands the person the ticket that you gave him just seconds earlier, greeting them back.

“good evening,” he smiles. “just don’t ask to see our marks, unless you wanna get mooned.” the person in the ticket booth lets out a chuckle and younghoon nudges you from behind. turning to look back at your friend with a questioning glance, he says nothing but has a shit eating grin on his face.

reluctantly making your way through the entrance, you start to regret inviting hyunjae to be your plus one. “wipe that silly look off your face!” hyunjae nudges you, suddenly walking by your side. “we’re supposed to be having fun looking at art we don’t understand.”

“you’re a menace, you know that?” you retort. “have been since the day I met you.” hyunjae only giggles at your remark, steps picking up in order to catch up with your friends.

as your group makes their way through the exhibit, you’re completely in awe at the art that surrounds you. from sculptures to simple paintings, each one represents your own feelings of love. there’s longing, heartbreak, and even that famous look of love trope that you see in the movies embodied in every piece. jacob and younghoon stop in front of a painting of two people standing side by side, watching the ocean waves crash onto the shore. they exchange hushed whispers and feather like touches as their hands brush together.

your heart tugs at the sight, you see them in the painting whether they know it themselves or not. hyunjae seems to notice too, stopping his own walk around the exhibit to observe the two. “what’s their story?”

looking up at him, there’s a fond look on your face. “it’s actually quite complicated yet so simple at the same time.” you explained to hyunjae that your two friends were soulmates of their own. they found one another in their first year of university, but soulmates are tricky.

absolutely stunned when they discovered that they shared the same mark, both jacob and younghoon have never been ones to play for the same team if you know what I mean. they were scared of what this meant for either of them. but with the help of one another, they were figuring themselves out together. walking through this soulmate world hand in hand with nothing but patience and acceptance in their hearts. instead of settling for the status quo and jumping into a relationship straight away, they both agreed that they were indeed soulmates, but it’ll take some time to figure out what kind. when people think soulmates, very rarely do they think of platonic soulmates, someone who’s your go-to for anything and always by your side.

but nonetheless, those light and tender glances shared between the two of them told the world that they were meant for each other.

“wow,” hyunjae breaths out. he felt his heart flutter during multiple parts of the story. “that’s...”

“beautiful?” you ask and he nods silently, not knowing how else to describe it.

“I’ve heard many soulmate stories before, but none of them were as... wow as that.” with one last look at your friends, hyunjae turns to find something else to look at. he’s desperately trying to hide his own longing from the world. he worked so hard to get to where he was now and he couldn’t go back to that same place. miserable and alone.

following him, the two of you come to a halt in front of a sculpture of a lovers embrace. tilting your head slightly, you let out a dreamlike sigh. maybe coming to this exhibit wasn’t a good idea. “you know what I like about all of these pieces?” hyunjae shifts closer to you, suddenly feeling alone in a crowded room. “none of the people in them have those stupid soulmate marks.”

leaning your head on his shoulder you take a moment to yourself. the height difference making it way too easy to do so, you couldn’t resist. “like you said before, right?” you pipe up. “no soulmate mark can be a soulmate mark if you allow it.” hyunjae glances down at you as you stare ahead at the sculpture and purses his lips. it was the perfect time to tell you how similar the two of you actually were, but he couldn’t get the words out of his mouth. instead, he just looks down at you with a certain fondness gracing his features.

off to the side, younghoon and jacob watched you and hyunjae for the second time that night. they both saw you two in the sculpture of lovers holding one another. the same affection that radiates from the art around you is beaming off your figures, whether you know it yourselves or not.

in the passenger seat of hyunjae’s car, you fiddle with your thumbs as you stare out the window to the sky. he had offered to drive you back home so younghoon and jacob could tend to their own plans. he also just wanted to talk to you and fill that gap he’s feeling for the past month. glancing over at your slouched figure, he reaches a hand out to tap you on your thigh and pull you out of your trance.

“what are you thinking about?”

snapping out of your daze, you shoot him a gentle grin. “just life.”

“good or bad?” he asks with a raised brow. stretching out your legs, you let out a tiny yawn suddenly growing sleepy from the car ride and the soft music that emits from the speakers of hyunjae’s car.

“good actually,” you hum. “I— I think I do believe that someone is waiting for me out there. it may not be here and it may not be now, but they’re for me.”

hyunjae smiles gently, holding his free hand out for you to hold. you grab it, slightly confused, but the gentle squeeze he gives you makes all of that disappear. since he met you a month ago, that’s all he seemed to want for you. to believe that you weren’t meant to be alone like everyone said you were. “that’s so great, y/n” he cheers. “really, I’m glad you’re not just putting yourself in a box anymore.”

“I actually have you to thank for throwing what was unwanted advice at the time at me when I needed it the most,” you giggle and hyunjae swears he hears bells. a swell of pride fills his chest as well, joyful that he helped pull you out of that place. lord only knows that he had to do the same for himself before. “and another person too, but they did nothing compared to you.”

“oh?” hyunjae pipes up, intrigued at who this new person was. “who do I have to share my credits with?”

“jung jaehyun,” you speak softly into the air. hyunjae nearly swerves at the drop of the name, knowing exactly who you’re talking about.

clearing his throat, he asks the question that he dreads the most. maybe it’s because he’s afraid you’ll end up in the same spot he found you in that day in the courtyard. maybe it’s because of something else. “so you’re dating again?”

shrugging, you pick at the skin of your thumbs as a nervous habit. “uh, kind of? it’s a little too soon to tell, but I feel really good about this one.” hyunjae turns to you again with a look on his face that tells you to continue, wanting to know what you’ve been up to with jaehyun for the past month. “of course he has his own mark, but he doesn’t seem to care about it. he’s not obsessed with soulmates like everyone else is and it’s just... nice? it’s not like the other relationships I had before where I guarded myself just in case. the whole time I'm with him, you talking about how there’s gonna be someone out there who won’t care about this whole soulmate system thing replays in my mind.”

“what if he’s the one the universe made for me?”

tapping his finger on the steering wheel, hyunjae thinks for a moment. he can definitely tell what kind of person you were now and why you do what you do. you were really just a hopeless romantic who craves the kind of love that you see in the movies. you were getting ahead of yourself, it was clear to anyone listening but he couldn’t be the one to wipe that starry look off of your face. “well,” he starts off. “he’s good to you right? that’s why it’s so easy to be with him compared to the rest?” he sees you nod in your peripheral and speaks, despite the growing heaviness in his heart. “then I think you should just enjoy whatever it is the two of you have going. like you said, it’s too early to tell but if it’s meant to be, it will be. don’t worry about the rest and act as if the soulmate system doesn’t exist.”

“like the exhibit,” you state, nodding your head in understanding.

hyunjae nods along with you, finally pulling into the lot of the dorms. “exactly like the exhibit.”

the car comes to a stop in front of your building and you look at hyunjae with a confused face. “why don’t you just park? you’re going home too.”

“oh I don’t live here,” he says with a knowing grin. “I live off campus.” appalled that he lied to you, you lightly smack him a few times. he cowers closer to the driver side door as he yelps at your attacks. “hey! ow! watch it, y/n this face is priceless!”

“you’re a stinky liar, hyunjae!” you shriek, halting your whacks. “why did you say you lived on campus and walk me all the way back here last time?”

the boy lowers his arms that were shielding his face sheepishly. “I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

scoffing at that, you can’t help the smile that overtakes your face. your cheeks heat up at his confession because what the hell?! he had just introduced himself to you and he was concerned for your safety. “I can’t believe you, but that’s really sweet at the same time.”

“heh,” he laughs, slightly shy. “I know right? now get out, I'm tired and now I'm in pain from you attacking me.”

moving to get out of the car, you stick your tongue out at him and he sticks his out back. childish. “you deserved it, liar. first your name and now where you live? are we even friends?”

he looks at you with a ‘are you serious’ and you raise your brows, waiting for him to answer. “nooo,” he says sarcastically. “I did not just spend my entire night with you at an art museum and then drive you home because we aren’t friends.”

you let out a loud laugh, throwing your head back. you fully pull yourself out of the car, leaning down slightly to peak at him through the open door. “goodnight, hyunjae.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

after you close the door, he drives off and you make your way up to your room. exhausted from tonight, you plop down on your bed face down. despite your tiredness, there’s a giddiness bubbling inside you and you let out a squeal, kicking your feet in the air. you can’t believe hyunjae and his sneaky motives. turning over, you smile like a madman at your ceiling and let out a dreamy sigh.

sleep comes quickly and you shut your eyes, heart full and mind racing. you’re still able to enter dreamland despite this and at every corner is the cause, lee hyunjae.

sitting in a coffee shop, you and jaehyun waited for the sun to set a little more so a walk around the fair didn’t burn your skin.

“here catch!” jaehyun exclaimed, holding a piece of a brownie in his hand. you stared at him with an incredulous look on his face because there was no way that that brownie would last in the air. “come on, y/n! let me feed you.”

“can’t you just feed me like a normal person?” you laugh, eyes crinkling and jaehyun does the same. “spoon feed me, jaehyun.”

“but that’s no fun,” he pouts and you can’t help but comply. opening your mouth, jaehyun launches the brownie and it terribly misses your mouth. it hits your cheek instead, causing the both of you to laugh at the chocolate stain left on your skin. “okay, try again.”

you’re about to object when you see a familiar face in the ordering line. you let out a little oh at the figure and jaehyun turns to see who you were looking at. “you know him?” he asks and you nod, which causes him to stand up in his seat as you panic to make him sit down. you didn’t exactly want to have a conversation with hyunjae while you were on a date with your boyfriend. “yo, hyunjae!”

at the call of his name, hyunjae turns to find jaehyun waving at him and you with your head in his hands. smirking, he waves back and goes to give his order to the cashier. once that’s done, he makes his way over to your table with a bright smile on his face. “what’s up man? long time no see.”

jaehyun and hyunjae embrace themselves in a bro hug while you awkwardly smile up at the boy. “I know right,” jaehyun chimes. “you know y/n?”

“here and there,” hyunjae replies, nodding. he gives you a wave and you nod back. of course they know each other, two good looking dudes were bound to be friends. “what are you guys up to?”

“chillin,” jaehyun says. “waiting for it to be less hot so we can walk around that fair. you?”

“oh same,” hyunjae says. “I’m supposed to meet a few friends there, but I needed a drink first.” jaehyun nods, pulling up a seat from a nearby table for hyunjae to join you two. he sits, nudging you to stop staring out the cafe window. “how are you, y/n?”

turning to face him, you widen your eyes. “oh, I’m good. how are you?”

“absolutely fantastic,” he replies as he side eyes both you and jaehyun. you roll your eyes in response, realizing that he just wanted to be nosey about the new blossoming couple. the barista brings his drink over and he thanks them, going to take an obnoxious sip as he looks from you to jaehyun.

jaehyun of course doesn’t notice. he turns his attention to hyunjae and they catch up on the time they missed together while you’re left to your own bearings. it really felt like hyunjae and jaehyun were here on a date, not you and jaehyun. “how do you guys know each other?” you ask, finally gaining the attention of the two boys.

“we got the same government name” hyunjae says and you look at him confused. hyunjae, jaehyun, hyunjae. OH! a eureka moment happens.

“just two jaehyuns being jaehyuns you know, y/n” jaehyun laughs and hyunjae joins him.

turning to hyunjae, you give him a look. “so when I said hyunjae wasn’t your real name, I was right?” the boy in question nods with an annoyed look while you smile cheekily at him and it’s jaehyun’s turn to start asking questions.

“how do you two know each other?” he chimes.

you’re about to answer to save yourself from revealing that embarrassing moment until hyunjae cuts you off. he seemed to enjoy doing that. “they were studying in the library one night, looking like they were about to die and I handed them a bag of cookies.”

you’re shocked at his response. while it wasn’t a complete lie, you still couldn’t believe that it flowed so easily. you stare at him and he just winks back. “nice dude!” jaehyun cheers, holding a hand out for hyunjae. “you’re still handing out freebies to people who need it, I see.” hyunjae laughs as he does the bro high five. “hey look, the sun’s starting to set. should we go?”

at that, you excitedly nod and stand up from your seat. turning to hyunjae who’s still sipping his drink in his seat, you pat him on the shoulder. “wanna walk with us hyunjae?”

“sure,” he shrugs.

walking down the street with golden hues painting the sky, jaehyun has an arm wrapped comfortably around your shoulder. the fair wasn’t really a fair, more like a night market that hyunjae and his friends liked to go to just to kill time. it was way better than being cooped up in one of their dorms and taking shots of old tequila.

you and jaehyun were a few steps ahead of him, giggling amongst yourselves as jaehyun pointed at clouds in the sky and gave them ridiculous shapes. hyunjae liked seeing that genuine smile on your face as he never had the pleasure of seeing it before. you seemed happy. maybe you were right, maybe jaehyun is the one that the universe made for you.

“look! there’s a heart” jaehyun exclaims and both you and hyunjae look up, but all either of you can see is a blob of white.

“what?” you ask, confused. “there’s no—” as you shift your gaze to question jaehyun, he cheekily sticks a finger in the pocket of his shirt only to pull it back out in a finger heart. he winks at you and you feel butterflies erupt in your chest at his cheesiness. throwing your head back in laughter with rose painting your cheeks, hyunjae lets out his own laugh and cheers for his friend.

“hey dude!” he claps. “that was great, 10/10!” jaehyun turns back at him as the three of you approach the many tents lining the street and raises his eyebrow in agreement. pumping his fist in the air, hyunjae does the same to celebrate his two friends. it was lame, they all know that, but as long as all of them were smiling it didn’t matter at all. “alright guys, I gotta go meet my friends down at the waffle stand.”

coming to a stop, hyunjae and jaehyun say their goodbyes. you’re about to wave at hyunjae and wish him a good night when he unexpectedly pulls you in for a light hug. it takes you a few seconds to hug him back and he whispers something in your ear.

“seeing you happy with him makes me believe that the universe is finally giving you what you want,” he says gently and you try your best not to show him nor jaehyun your shocked expression. as he pulls away, you give him that same smile he saw for the first time today. he starts walking away from you two, waving his hand in the air. “take care, guys!”

“he’s a cool dude,” jaehyun says, slight admiration in his voice.

nodding, you purse your lips to contain your smile. “he really is.”

“I absolutely despise you, you know that?” you huff, wiping the sweat forming on your brow. it was cold out this evening and yet, you feel hot all because of lee hyunjae.

it’s not because what you’re thinking. exact opposite exactly as you were still very much in a relationship with jaehyun. hyunjae had the great idea to take you on a little journey after bombarding your phone with texts that absolutely made no sense, but still had one point that you clearly received.

bored, hyunjae wanted to get out of his dorm and do something so he called you of course instead of going to bed. the two of you were currently walking up this steep ass hill in order to reach a topside park that hyunjae had found by word of mouth. “no you don’t” hyunjae comments, turning back to shoot you a frown. “you wouldn’t have said yes to coming out if you did.”

“I didn’t know we were gonna go on a hike, damn!” you shriek, your lungs were not built for physical activity and you were jealous that hyunjae was walking up like it was a breeze. “why do you not have any other friends you can bother for this shit?”

finally stepping on flat ground, hyunjae places his hands on his hips. he looks up at the stars, which you can see particularly clearly thanks to being closer to the sky and lets out a long breath in awe. “you’re my favorite” he winks when you’re finally at his side. he was expecting a slap on the arm (trademark), but when he gets nothing, not even a scoff, he worriedly turns to find you to make sure you didn’t pass out from the walk up. instead of finding you laid out on the floor, unconscious, he sees you gaping with wide eyes at the main attraction of the park that made it so famous.

the only thing standing in the grass field and the whole park is a single tree that shoots high. it’s decorated with christmas lights to commemorate the upcoming holiday season that wrap all the way around the tall plant and there’s a pretty white star at the top that doesn’t quite shine as bright as the stars in the sky. “wow...” you whistle and hyunjae lets out a small laugh, still looking at you.

“yeah,” he breathes. “welcome to christmas tree park, y/n. it was worth it right?”

“so worth it” you say still in a trance. hyunjae grabs you by the arm, leading you over to the stone wall at the edge of the hill. it overlooks the city and your breath is taken away once again. you can see everything, from the small coffee shop that you like to frequent to the glistening water of the river everyone likes to walk along at this time of night. looking up, the sky is clear and each star is twinkling extra bright tonight. “yeah, definitely worth almost popping a lung.”

sitting on the wall, you both let your feet dangle over the edge as you admire the city you’re in. the air is silent, taking everything in: the view, the breeze in your hairs, the comforting presence beside one another amongst other things.

“how much would you wanna push me off if I start playing my soft playlist right now?” hyunjae asks, breaking the silence.

you laugh, shaking your head. “not much, I think it’ll be fitting actually.” at that, the boy next to you whips out his phone and a soft melody is flowing in the space between you. “you’re such a romantic, lee hyunjae... your future somebody is going to be so lucky.”

too stunned to say anything at the sudden comment, he mutters a “thank you” as he wraps his jacket tighter around his chilly form. “you call me cheesy all the time, though.” it was true. lee hyunjae is an absolute cheeseball and you’ve experienced first hand when he cried watching A Walk to Remember with you over discord. and when you caught him writing encouraging notes to hide in his friends backpacks. and when he bought a couple phone case set just for the pure reason of “I’m gonna need it later, you know.”

but despite all the cheesiness you clown him for, you know well and good and hyunjae just has a heart of gold. “yeah, but I'm serious. even jaehyun says the same thing” you reply, sighing longingly. “I can see that when you love, you love hard and genuinely. they’re gonna be so happy when they finally find you.” turning to beam at the boy, he’s staring at the skyline with pursed lips. “I'm gonna be so happy when you finally find them.”

he meets your gaze and sees nothing but honesty. giving you a small smile, he nudges your side in a flustered state. “stop that,” he sheepishly replies. “there’s a reason I haven’t found them yet, anyway.”

“and why is that?” you ask curiously. what could possibly be holding this boy back?

it’s quiet for a moment as hyunjae contemplates telling you that it’s because he doesn’t have a mark. the stars fated him the same way they did you. “I'm deathly afraid that I’m not gonna be what they’ve been hoping for.”

he didn’t completely lie. it was true in a sense. if he were to find someone who would be with him, despite his missing mark, they’d soon realize that he’s not what their real soulmate was meant to be. the soulmate mark isn’t just a mark, being side by side with their matching halves solidifies that bond that the universe has created. hyunjae doesn’t think he could bear the thought of falling completely deep for someone, thinking they’ve done the same only for them to leave because their hearts are unfulfilled. so unlike you, he hides. hyunjae doesn’t put himself out there for people to connect with him in that way, settling for the belief that they’ll find their way to him on their own.

“you’re honestly amazing, hyunjae” you say with admiration in your voice. “I wish you’d believe that. look, you helped me, a mere stranger who was crying their eyes out in front of everyone. you give me advice that I don’t want, but actually is really what I needed to hear and has helped me get to where I am right now with jaehyun.”

“you shouldn’t be afraid because if they really are your soulmate like the universe says they are,” you say softly. “they wouldn’t want to look for anyone else but you.” hyunjae didn’t really like the atmosphere the two of you created here at christmas tree park. not because of anything you were saying, but because he didn’t like to talk about his own soulmate problems with others. he wasn’t used to it, having kept all those unspoken thoughts and yearning feelings to himself for so long.

“who’s the cheesy one now” hyunjae grimaces jokingly, making a face. your gaze turns from soft to challenging real quick at his teasing and hyunjae holds up his hands in defense. “I'm kidding, I'm just deflecting. but thank you, I really do appreciate it.”

crossing your arms proudly, you hold your chin high. “of course,” you chime. pointing at a spot in the sky, you grab hyunjae’s arm to get him to see what you were seeing. there were two stars right next to each other, shining a little brighter than the rest of their friends amongst them. “that’s you and your soulmate, bright and beautiful.”

laughing loud, hyunjae throws his head back and you shove him saying you’re being for real. “no, that’s you and your soulmate. finding one another instantly and sticking together to outshine the rest.”

(mani’s notes: music dump for these next few parts bc im annoying and bc i really rEALLY REALLY want you all to listen to onoffonoffon by keshi for this next part <3 keep it on loop until the next break hehe ty for indulging me)

you were so late.

one of your professors had asked you to stay behind after class to talk about an essay you recently submitted and while it was nice to get compliments on something that you slaved over for four hours straight the night before it was due, you were extremely late.

jaehyun wanted to meet up after classes for a little bit and you were so excited to see him! it’s been several days since you guys could get together and after the week you were having, you needed quality time with your sweet boyfriend to ease your mood. but your professors just went on and on about how amazing you were with this last assignment which is honestly deserved, but you’re exactly 22 minutes behind from the time that you and jaehyun had set to meet. bless him for being so understanding in more ways than one because he replied to your scrambled text about how you were on your way there with a no worries :) I'll be waiting here for you so take your time. but you, not knowing how to read still ran slash speed walked as fast as you could to the random seating area on campus you agreed on.

“hey,” you pant out, bending over to put your hands on your knees. “sorry I'm so late!” jaehyun laughs at your form, standing from his seat to make you stand upright again.

“when you’re out of breath, you’re not supposed to hunch over like that or else you’ll pass out” he chides, but rubbing a soothing hand on your back. “how was class, though?”

melting into his touch, you let out a him with your eyes closed. “it was good! prof really liked the paper I submitted so she kept me after class to give her kind remarks. how are you?”

finally looking up at jaehyun, you find him already looking at you. there’s a distant look on his face and you can’t help but frown at the absence of your bright-eyed jaehyun. “about that...” he starts off with a sigh, shoulders visibly slumping. “I have to talk to you about something.” worry overcomes your body. he ushers you to sit and you do, him following to take the seat across of you at the table. you knew he was having a tough time with one of his classes as well as getting into it with one of his close friends. you didn’t think it was taking this big of a toll on him, the dark circles under his eyes and lips that never seemed to smile the same these days.

“are you okay, jae?” you ask gently, placing your hand atop his. “whatever it is i’m here to li—” you’re cut off when he takes his hand out from under yours, only to place it right back on top of your own.

“I’m sorry y/n” he says softly. “but we need to breakup.”

you’re still for a second. then another, and another. jaehyun looks at you with sad eyes, patiently waiting for you to gather your thoughts. “what?” you whisper. it’s all you could come up with.

“we can’t be together anymore.”

as you frantically wrack your brain for reasons as to why, you come up with nothing. you thought everything was going so well? you were happy with jaehyun and he was happy with you. it showed in the way he never failed to make time for you. in the way you could practically feel the affection radiating off his body whenever he was next to you, holding your hand like he is now. “I— is it because I was late today? I'm really sorry, it won’t happen again without a warning. or is it because we haven’t been able to see each other much lately? because I ca—”

squeezing your hand, jaehyun stops your rambling. he rubs circles on the skin, a habit he likes to do, staring intently at where your hands connected. “it’s not that y/n. it’s not any of that” he says, solemn gaze quickly turning to a gleam as he utters the next words. “I met my soulmate. I met them y/n.”

mouth opening and closing like a fish, your words are caught in your throat. it’s happening again when you least expected it to. “I thought you didn’t care about soulmates, jaehyun” you choke out.

he locks eyes with your cloudy ones, pursing his lips. he looked just as heartbroken as you did. “I don’t, I didn’t. but that bond y/n... it’s undeniable” he mumbles. “it’s the same thing I felt with you, but a million times stronger that it became so unbearable. and it definitely doesn’t make it as fairytale like as it’s supposed to be since this had to happen while I'm still with you, believe me when I say everything was real for me as it was for you.”

you say nothing, biting down hard on your lip to keep yourself from breaking down in front of the beautiful, kind-hearted boy. the worst part of it all was that you were right. he definitely wasn’t like the rest in the way he treated you while you were together. and also in the way he would break your heart. there was no screaming in your face, no chastising you for not having a mark and that’s what made it all the more painful.

“I never meant to hurt you, y/n” he whispers slowly, badly wishing he could reach across the table and hold you to make it a little better. but he couldn’t. “I— I’m so sorry that it couldn’t be me. that I couldn’t be the one where the pain stops.”

shaking your head, you squeeze his hand back as a silent way of saying that it wasn’t his fault. it was those damn stars. “so this is it then?” giving him a sad smile. “this is where I lose thee amazing jung jaehyun?”

he lets out a light laugh, dimples you adored so much, spent so much time poking whenever the boy smiled or chuckled, peeking through his cheeks. “no, this is where I lose thee amazing y/l/n y/n.”

you sniffle a little, another attempt to hold back your tears as you giggle at his cheesiness. standing up, you start to put distance between the two of you, hands still intertwined. “I wish you nothing but the best jaehyun, you deserve a beautiful love that’s written in the stars.”

“and I wish you the same but even more, y/n” he says softly. “you deserved to be loved the way you want to.”

with one last squeeze of his hand, you pull away. as you turn to walk to your dorm to lock yourself in your room, you finally let the tears fall, begging the stars to let you have your wish come true soon.

(mani’s notes: another song... pls listen to right here by keshi until the next break! the pre chorus and chorus just hit I promise)

hyunjae wanted nothing more than to go home and be dead to the world.

it was a rough day. first, he was surprised with an exam he knew nothing about. then, his laptop decided to just not do what it was supposed to do today while he was working on an assignment and shut down. and on top of that, he didn’t have enough money on his card to buy his five dollar coffee to get him through the day. imagine the humiliation of dozens of college students watching him repeatedly tap his card, only to get that loud beeping noise in return. but luckily, the dude behind him was nice enough to pay for his drink. or maybe he saw how much hyunjae needed it by the dead look in his eyes.

dragging his feet throughout campus, hyunjae decided that he has had enough human interaction today as he made his way to his car to get the fuck up outta here. the only thing keeping him sane at this moment was the thought of laying in his bed with the all the lights off, but he thinks he doesn’t deserve that when someone literally slams into him.

stumbling back on impact, hyunjae quickly catches himself and the person who ran into him. steadying them with a strong grip, the person squeaks out an “I'm sorry” before trying to make a break for it. he catches a whiff of that familiar scent and immediately perks up.

“y/n?” he asks, hands still around your shoulders. “what the hell are you running from? you nearly took me out.”

hyunjae grows concerned as you don’t respond to his jokes. your head was kept down and that’s when he noticed how you were shaking right where you were standing. your body heaved up and down as you sniffled and hyunjae crouches down in order to meet your eyes. “are you... are you crying? what’s wrong?”

finally meeting his gaze, hyunjae feels his heart rip in two. your cheeks are stained with tears, pain behind your eyes, and your lips set in a permanent frown. “i— it h—happened again” you hiccup, stumbling over your words. “jaehyun, h—” a sob breaks through your throat and hyunjae somewhat understands what you were trying to say.

“shhh,” he hushes you. moving his arms to wrap you in a tight hug, he rubs your back soothingly as your body racks with sobs. “I got it, you don’t need to explain anything else.”

you hug hims just as tightly, needing something to keep you upright, but hyunjae feels your knees giving out as your cries get louder. he tries his best to keep you standing, but your body and your heart just wanted to be done. you were getting closer to the ground, hyunjae quickly following.

so he starts moving, arms still wrapped around one another as he carries most of your weight. he had to get you out of there, people were starting to stare and you let him lead you. you shift your position so he’s not struggling to walk, head still buried in his shoulder, both arms wrapped around his middle as he keeps a secure arm around yours. you don’t pay attention to where you’re going, not wanting to let anyone see the hurt on your face. not wanting to give anyone more to talk about you. suddenly, you hear a door open and hyunjae pushes you down into the space, finally detaching you from his form.

you can see that through your tears that you’re in the back seat of his car with your legs still hanging out. the boy gets down on his knees on the asphalt of the parking garage, inserting himself between your legs. he’s staring at you intently as if he was waiting for you to be okay. or breakdown. and you decides unconsciously that you were going to do the latter after looking at his equally heartbroken face. he says nothing as he wipes the tears from your face, caressing your jaw.

“why me, hyunjae” you whisper, sobs finally calming down after a moment but the tears just don’t seem to stop. “why does this keep happening to me? why can’t I just be happy for once?”

“I’m so sorry...” he says, not knowing what else to give you.

furiously, you ball up your fists and knock them into hyunjae’s chest. the blows weren’t hard to the point where they hurt, but hyunjae felt all your anger, sadness, and remorse for yourself with each one. “everyone tells me” you seethe. “that I deserve love. that I deserve to find someone, but when I finally do the stupid universe takes that away from me.”

“that day you told me to stop settling as a filler for people, but who the hell else am I supposed to be when that’s all I am to everyone? all I ever wanted was to f— feel what I see everyone else h—”

another heart wrenching sob leaves your lips. you were tired of the live you were living. you wanted nothing more that for everything to just stop.

placing a hand behind your head, hyunjae silences your cries into his shirt. “I got you, y/n. it’s okay, you’re gonna be okay. I got you, I’m here.”

you both stay like that for awhile as hyunjae holds your crumbling form, despite the aching in his knees. his own exhaustion soon forgotten, his focus now on putting you back together. he waited for you to calm down as you cried off and on, remembering everything you’ve been through from the minute you were born thanks to this stupid soulmate system. with every cry that leaves your mouth, his grip gets tighter. he hopes the stars were looking down on them right now, watching the mess they created of the one person who desperately wanted what they gave to others.

he hopes that their own hearts were breaking just as his was.

a handful of weeks later, you and hyunjae have grown considerably close.

he decided that he was going to stick by you since the day jaehyun broke up with you and found his soulmate. no, I literally mean stick with you. the boy has been in your dorm room everyday and even some nights since. but could you blame him? he caught you bawling your eyes out not once, but twice after painful breakups and the second time was enough for him to come to the conclusion that he was going to insert himself into your life until you were back to yourself again. whether you liked it or not.

you wanted to go to the store? he’d take you. you wanted to take a late night walk? here comes hyunjae, bundled up in his winter gear. ice cream and boba runs? definitely sign him up, he’ll be there in ten. a sleepover filled with too many snacks watching those rom-coms he loves so much and binging all the twilight movies? move over y/n, that’s his spot on the couch. you two did everything together.

at first, it was a little much. his constant presence in your space kind of irked you, but you quickly got used to hearing his voice booming really loud in the mornings as he pounded on the door to let him in. dare say, you enjoyed having him around so much. the company was definitely nice since you were so used to putting your heart back together again all by yourself and hyunjae did a great job at reminding you to take care of yourself. and by that I mean literally holding glasses of water to your lips and cooking actual meals for you, something he rarely did for himself. hyunjae’s time with you was something he didn't know he needed. the fatigue and grumpiness he’s been feeling was soon eased now that his days were filled with you. you knew he was helping you, but little did you know that you were also helping him.

of course, younghoon and jacob would come by to check on you once in a while after hearing the news. but once they saw you were in good hands (on multiple occasions), their worries decreased. sometimes, they felt like the single ones watching you and hyunjae do things together, for each other. the soulmate couple could see the light they knew all to well slowly returning to your eyes and that monotone voice they hated so much was starting to have some life to it.

while you were definitely in a much better place compared to that day, you still had your moments where you felt absolutely worthless. it’s almost as if you couldn’t stop reliving every single ending moment from each relationship you’ve had. like you were being reminded about who— what you were to the world and everyone else in it: unmarked. luckily, you had hyunjae by your side who would quickly pick up on those signs that signaled that you were slipping back into that place again. he was always quick to pull you back out before you were in too deep. which is exactly why he took you to the shopping district for some retail therapy. it always made him feel better so it just has to be the same for you. wrong. you were exhausted from walking around, even if it was for only an hour, but the mental and emotional stress contributed to the physical.

“hyunjae” you whine, dragging and stomping your feet slightly. “can we just go back home? my toes are cold.”

“no” he says sternly, turning to point a finger at you. “you’re cranky cause you haven’t bought anything yet and that’s the whole point of retail therapy!” you roll your eyes in response, begrudgingly following him around the lightly crowded streets. none of the stores you’ve been into have piqued your interest and neither were any you were passing by doing it for you. you absolutely hated shopping unless it was done online, in the comfort of your own home where you didn’t have to interact with rude or overly nice shopkeepers. but hyunjae is trying his best to cheer you up and you see that. you appreciate it beyond means, but you really just wanted to go home and watch twilight again.

before calling it a day and a failed attempt, you decided to indulge him a little more by pointing at a small shop on the corner. “let’s go in there,” you suggest. the sign reads ‘final form’ which played a part in your choosing, silently but jokingly hoping that they sold stuff in order to help you achieve your goals of becoming a werewolf so you can be with jacob black forever.

upon entering, a bell chimes at the top of the door. lining the shelves are jars full of things you can barely pronounce, crystals in all shapes and colors, old leather books, and cases of cards. this place even sells crystal balls and both you and hyunjae come to the revelation that this is a wiccan shop. hyunjae raises an eyebrow at you for your choice, but you just give him a look that says “it can’t be that bad” so he follows you deeper into the store. behind the counter stands an old woman who ironically has a black cat perched on top next to her.

she smiles at you two, welcoming you into her store. her hair is long and gray, eyes piercing but warm at the same time. “hello” she drawls out, eyes locking onto yours. “welcome to final form, what can I help you with today?”

“just looking around,” hyunjae replies with a kind smile. the shopkeepers eyes never leave your form, though. you could feel her gaze on you as you roamed around the shelves, but you weren’t going to say anything as it wasn’t an uncomfortable stare. she nods anyway, letting you two do what you came to do.

“maybe I need a protection crystal,” you say to hyunjae. “start carrying those around and I should be good right?”

he shakes his head, scoffing slightly. “I know what you need and I can tell you that it’s definitely not a fifty dollar rock.” you’re about to ask him exactly what he meant by that, but then you see a sign that you didn’t notice earlier hanging above the shopkeepers head.

SOULMATE MARKS AVAILABLE HERE!

you let out a little gasp that startles hyunjae before quickly making your way over to the counter. the woman’s eyes were still on you when you turn around, almost as if she was waiting for you to notice. pointing up at the sign, your eyes are frantic as you ask the woman about it. “what do you mean you give soulmate marks here?” you rush out. “I thought it was just something people were born with.” already by your side, hyunjae is just as confused as you were. all his life, he’s known soulmate marks to be something that was given to people at birth. they weren’t man made so he knew whatever was to come out of this woman’s mouth would be nothing but a sales pitch.

“ah.. you see,” the woman starts off, still smiling. “in my field of work, I dabble in the stars and everything they have to offer. after a few meetings with people, I'm able to see what the universe couldn’t.” reaching down, she pulls out an old scrapbook and opens it. inside, there are pages and pages filled with faces, couples, and their stories to accompany them. she turns the book so it’s facing you and you eagerly start flipping the pages. “who the unmarked are meant to be with.”

“oh my god,” you whisper, reading each and every tale of those unmarked like you finding their soulmates. hyunjae reads along with you and questions start popping up in his own mind.

clearing his throat, he speaks up. “so what? you find these unmarked peoples soulmates for them and tell where to find them?”

“oh no,” she says, holding a hand up to her chest like she was appalled. “I'm not the government, I can’t track people like that.” hyunjae wants to laugh so bad at her joke, but he holds it in and waits for her to continue. “like how there are those born without a mark, there are people born with marks without a matching pair who roam the world searching for a person who doesn’t exist. but alas, they do exist. the stars just forgot to make it known.”

“unmarked people are in fact, meant to have a soulmate. you can say that those meetings with the unmarked give me a form of clarity and once I'm connected with those unmatched people, the unmarked get their mark and they can resume living their lives searching for their match just like everyone else. does that make sense?”

“not really,” hyunjae mumbles, but he doesn’t press any further. an overload of information was bound to give him a headache and his head was already spinning in circles.

“so these people you saw,” you say. “the unmarked ones you’ve helped, they come back and what? confirm your judgment?”

the woman shakes her head with a laugh that sounds exactly like the bell on the door. “no no,” she giggles behind her hand. “that’s just proof, hon. I ask them to come back once they find their soulmates just so I can build evidence. how else will people believe me without these stories?”

nodding slowly, you’re silent for a moment, taking it all in. hyunjae can practically see the gears turning in your head and the slight puff of your cheeks, another one of your habits that you do when you were thinking really hard about something he’s picked up on. placing a gentle hand on your shoulder, he grabs your attention. you can see the crease in his eyebrow and worry in his eyes. the woman watches the exchange, her own thoughts running through her mind.

“I’ll do it,” you say abruptly facing back to the shopkeeper. “I mean, where can I sign up for this?” just as she’s about to answer, hyunjae pulls you back away from the counter.

“excuse us for a moment,” he says. he takes some steps back and you have an irritated look on your face. “are you sure you wanna do this, y/n? how do we even know if she’s being for real?”

“you saw the book hyunjae,” you snap. “it’s all there! this whole time, we thought that soulmate pairs were already set, but there could be someone out there for me! waiting for me like i’ve been waiting for them.”

“but there’s so much more we don’t know about!” he whisper shouts. you just give him a face and he can see it in your eyes that you’ve already made up your mind. you didn’t understand why he was so against this, it’s not like you’re going to get assigned a mark right away. like the woman said, it’ll take some time and you’re willing to try if it meant you didn’t have to live this life anymore.

“I've watched everyone around me find their soulmates and now it’s my turn.”

“hate to interrupt,” the woman chimes in after not-so accidentally hearing the whole conversation. “but I've got to close up soon and it seems like you two have a lot to talk about... how about you come back tomorrow after sitting on the idea for a bit?”

“so you’re actually going?” hyunjae asks, annoyance in his voice. he knocked on your door bright and early today, bag hanging from his shoulder and a sour look on his face.

after leaving the shop yesterday, you two bickered about the whole thing on the way home. and in your dorm. and over text after he went back home. hyunjae thought you were being rash, still feeling hurt from what happened with jaehyun. you were making an emotional decision that you were going to regret later. but you weren’t going to regret it, you knew this. you have been waiting for the day where your soulmate appears in front of you, despite all the signs (or lack of) on your body saying that you didn’t have one. if this woman was for real, you’d have everything you ever wanted come true and you came too far to turn down the opportunity. the amount of hurt and heartbreak you’ve been through over the years was enough for you to decide.

walking further into your room, hyunjae drops his bag on your couch and remains standing. oh, you thought. so he didn’t come here to be a supportive friend. he came here to fight. you stand in front of him, arms crossed and a hard look on your face and he mirrors you.

two stubborn people.

“yeah” you retort, a bite in your voice. “I'm going and you can’t stop me!”

“I still think this is a bad idea” he rolls his eyes. “you don’t even know the whole process it’s gonna take! what if she just randomly assigns you to some freak and you’re stuck with that person forever?!”

“I know you think this is a bad idea! I been knew since yesterday!” your voice was getting louder, growing more and more annoyed with the boy in front of you. why can’t he just support you? “isn’t this what you wanted, anyway? you’re the one who told me that I deserve someone who loves me! you’re the one who said that there’s definitely someone out there for me and if this is how I find them, then why are you so against it?”

“you have your own soulmate mark, hyunjae. you don’t know what it’s like to live everyday knowing that you’re the odd one out, destined to be by yourself forever.” voice cracking, hyunjae can see your resolve breaking down so he eases up. “there’s someone out there waiting for you to love them... I don’t have that.”

hyunjae lowers his head, looking down at his head. how absolutely wrong you were. he didn’t have someone waiting for him. he was just as lonely as you were, he just did a better job at hiding it. “I don’t have a soulmate y/n...” he says quietly that you almost miss it.

“what did you say?” you ask. you knew what he said, but you were sure you were hearing it wrong.

“I don’t have a soulmate,” he says, louder this time and looking straight at you. “because I don’t have a mark.”

shocked, all you can do is stare at him with your mouth gaping. you’ve never seen his mark and you figured that it was because it was somewhere not visible. or he just didn’t want to show you to make you feel worse about your situation and you respected that, never asking to see it. never in a million years would you have thought that lee hyunjae, the one who talks about soulmates so fondly, was just like you.

“why didn’t you tell me?” you whisper, seeing all the pain he’s been hiding from you in his eyes. “why didn’t you say anything?”

“you never asked,” he laughed slightly. “you just assumed I was like everyone else. and it’s not something I enjoy talking about... I had to fight my own demons just like you.”

“then you must know where I'm coming from, hyunjae” you sigh, ruffling your hair out of frustration. “you do know what it’s like so why are you being such a hard ass? why don’t you want to do this with me?”

he shakes his head, clenching his fists by his side. truthfully, he didn’t know why he didn’t like the idea of you getting your mark. he didn’t know why he didn’t want to get his own when the opportunity was right in front of him. so he pulls something out of his ass instead that sounds like an honest answer.

“think about it! the universe didn’t mark us for a reason” he seethes. “it’s not because they forgot or whatever bullshit that woman said. it’s because we’re really not meant for anyone! there’s absolutely no way that marked people are meant to be with the unmarked.” we saw proof with you and all your relationships.

he doesn't add in that last part, not wanting to hurt you more than you already are. “you’re a big fat hypocrite, hyunjae!” you exclaim, throwing your hands in the air. “you preach so much about how there’s someone out there for everyone, mark or not. but now you’re saying people like us aren’t meant for anyone? make it make sense.”

“soulmate marks aren’t just made,” he bites back, scoffing. “so excuse me for having my doubts.”

“they are made” you retort.

“not in some random shop like that” he raises his voice, growing annoyed at the whole argument. why couldn’t you just listen to him? can you not see how sketch this whole thing was? “I’ve learned to be content with not having a soulmate. I don’t need to run around finding someone to fill that void like you, you should take notes.”

that made you angrier. hyunjae knew how to hit you where it hurt the most and you’d be damned if you let him have it. “so is that what this is about?” you shout, taking a step closer to him with a fire in your eyes. “you want me to be lonely and miserable forever just like you? hm?”

“shut up, y/n” he murmurs, warning you. one thing about hyunjae, despite his calm and soft appearance he had a temper and you knew that. witnessing it yourself on many occasions when the delivery service forgot to give him his sauce. or when someone on the road was driving like an idiot and he yelled a string of curse words out of his window. “shut. up.”

you’re right in front of his face now, staring intently at one another in a challenging manner. “does hyunjae want y/n to stay with him forever? misery does love company.”

something behind his eyes snaps and he’s moving forward at lightning speed. he grips the back of your head with one hand, other holding your waist to keep you in place and the next thing you know, his mouth is on yours. his lips are hot against your own and the grip on your waist tightens that it snaps you out of your initial shock. you kiss him back feverishly, arms looping around his neck to bring him even closer. teeth knocking against his, it’s messy and not at all soft from all the pent up anger and frustration from the arguments you’ve been having from yesterday. he’s grabbing at you wherever he can get his hands on.

“so what if I do?” he mumbles against your lips, taking your bottom one into his mouth. “don’t go. don’t leave me.”

don’t leave me. that brings you back to your senses, eyes snapping wide open. he didn’t want you like that, he really just didn’t want to be lonely. pulling away from him with a pop! you push him off of you and wipe your mouth with the back of your hand. hyunjae’s eyes are blown wide, lips bright red. “get out,” you deadpan, turning away from him. “get out hyunjae and don’t ever come back if you know what’s good for you.”

“what?” he says breathlessly, chest heaving. “y/n I—”

whipping your head to face him, you glare so hard that you might burn holes into his face. “I said get out!” you scream, pointing at the door. “I don’t wanna see you again! you can be miserable by yourself.” he scoffs at you, not understanding where this sudden switch came from.

“you want me to leave? fine, I don’t need you y/n!” he shouts back harshly and you grow even angrier. the words stab at your heart, but it’s too late for either of you to take back the words said. “never did. I was fine before meeting you and I'm gonna be fine after, without you.” making his way towards the door, he picks his bag off the couch. with his hand on the doorknob, he turns to look at you again. you’re still standing there, glaring at him with mean eyes and your fists clenched. raising an eyebrow at him, you wait for him to make his exit.

“are you not understanding?” you bite. “I said leave!”

“URGH!” he shouts, annoyed and confused. yanking the door open, he stomps away and doesn’t bother to shut the door behind him.

“URGH!” you yell back at him once you’re at the door to shut it. slamming it shut, you slide down the surface with your head in your hands. how dare he kiss you right when you’re about to leave for your first meeting with the woman at the shop? how dare he be a hypocrite when he knew exactly what you were going through? how dare he.

your head was spinning and you don’t know if you just made a big mistake or the best decision for you. he didn’t need you, anyway.

hyunjae didn’t need you. that’s what he’s been telling himself since that day in your dorm two months ago.

yup, a whole two months have passed by without hearing or seeing one another. looking back at it, the whole argument was petty and ridiculous. hyunjae shouldn’t have kissed you, but there was no taking it back now. he couldn’t take anything back since you probably had your mark already. but boy, did he regret it all.

he should’ve just supported you. he should’ve encouraged you to get your mark because that’s all you ever wanted. you wanted to fit into the world so bad that it was destroying you from the inside out, but maybe that’s why he fought back against your wishes. he still doesn’t know what came over him that day, but what he does know is that he misses you.

he misses hearing your laugh after mocking the characters from his favorite rom-coms. he misses the way you smile at him, eyes crinkling at the corners whenever he bought you your favorite drink in the middle of study sessions. he misses the way you leaned your head on his shoulder whenever you were getting bored of whatever activity the two of you were doing. he misses the warm feeling that your very presence next to him gives him.

but it was too late for that.

outside of the library, he replays all the moments he’s had with you walking out to the cool and crisp air of the night. it was finals season now and for the past two months you weren’t there to let out an obnoxious groan that you were holding in in the library after stretching your limbs. you weren’t gonna be seating in the passenger seat of his car, blasting your nightcore playlist on the short two minute ride to your dorm to get you pumped for more studying. his nights were back to the quiet ones he forgot he was used to.

looking up at the sky, he finds the brightest star there is and lets out a long sigh. he wishes on it once again like he’s done many times before, that wherever you are and whatever you were doing, you were happy. without him.

“hey doris” you greet, entering the shop with the bell signaling your arrival. it’s become a routine to meet with the shopkeeper, who you finally learned the name of, twice a week at 10 pm sharp. she did these meetings after hours so they don’t conflict with her running her shop during the day, but you weren’t complaining. you’d study until it was time to make your way over to see her and while it was a lonely journey, you kept coming back.

“hello y/n” she smiles at you. “hope your exams aren’t killing you.” you laugh at that. you’ve grown quite fond of the woman who low-key scared you during your first meeting. as she learned about you, you learned about her.

these meetings were simple, it was just filled with conversation that you’d hear between friends over a nice cup of tea or coffee. no particular topic, just whatever decided to leave your mouths that day. “waiting for my mark to appear is what’s killing me.”

“it just takes time, babe” doris waves you off. “some cases are more difficult than others. it is the stars we’re dealing with.”

sighing, you run a hand through your hair, taking a seat behind the counter next to her after petting the same black cat you saw the first time you came, kitty. original, right?

two months. two whole months you’ve been coming to see doris and you seemed to be getting nowhere. “do they usually take this long, though?” doris places a hot cup of coffee in front of you and you take it, wrapping your fingers around the warm mug. finals were definitely taking a toll on you, so you told doris to have cups of coffee ready for you when you arrived. extra shots please. “I don’t feel any different, do you?” you were asking about her witchy senses or whatever they were. she had shared with you before that when she was getting somewhere with someone, she would get dreams of the person and their soulmate in flashes. after that, the mark would appear on its own.

smiling sadly at you, she shakes her head no and your shoulders visibly slump. “hey hey!” she grabs your hand in hers, patting it gently. “don’t give up! there’s someone out there for you, I believe that.”

“I believe it too” you mumble, staring at the patterns of the wood counter. “but this is what I've been waiting for, doris. all my life, and I just can’t believe it’s taking even longer.”

“you doubting me, hon?” she asks with a joking smile, but you still panic.

“no no!” you hold your hands out in front of you, shaking your head furiously. “believe me, I know you’re legit in your practice. I wouldn’t be here still if I didn’t, I'm just...” trying to find the right words, you come up with nothing. doris’ laugh rings through your ears at your defensiveness. kitty walks over on the counter to rub himself against you and you nestle your cheek onto his fur. it’s like he sensed your frustration and sadness and came over to cheer you up.

“when you chase something for so long, it won’t come so easily when there’s finally a solution in front of you” doris reminds you. “the universe is petty like that so don’t beat yourself up.”

petting kitty’s scruff, you cup his face in your hands and make eye contact with him. your cheeks are puffed out and nose scrunched. “is there something wrong with me kitty?” you coo. “am I really not meant for anyone?”

you tried hard to forget hyunjae’s words that day in your dorm, but you just couldn’t. you knew he only said it out of anger, but they still cut deep. deciding to keep the fight from doris, you’ve pushed it far into the back of your mind along with that stupid kiss. you wondered how he was doing during this stressful time for all college kids, but you knew it would be weird to reach out now. it was too late.

kitty lets out a meow at your question and you almost melt at the sound, placing your forehead against his tiny one. doris on the other hand, raises an eyebrow and looks at her cat quizzically. something else about her and kitty, she claims she could understand everything he said and that to you, was a little harder to believe. you still indulged her here and there, like when kitty meowed at her once and she said that he said he was cold, so she turned down the air.

“you’re right kitty,” she says and you turn to look at her expectantly. “he said that maybe your no mark is your soulmate mark.”

you freeze at that. hyunjae. you’re brought back to that day on campus, when you first met. his words ring in your ears and you drop your hands onto the counter, scoffing in disbelief.

no soulmate mark can be a soulmate mark if you allow it.

you even said it yourself, that night at the museum when hyunjae was by your side.

the universe has other plans for you.

kitty meows again, gaining your attention. you feel like doris in that moment, understanding exactly what kitty was trying to say to you. doris is smiling to the side, chin resting on her hand. abruptly standing up, the chair you were on scapes the floor. “doris,” you say calmly, apologies in your eyes. “I think I'm gonna stop coming in for these meetings.”

you think she’s gonna be mad, offended even, but instead she’s smiling even wider. she jumps up with you, clapping excitingly. “go!” she ushers you out the door and you’re confused as to if she knew what you were going to do. “go get him, babe. you deserve to be happy.”

edit - (mani’s notes: pls listen to war with heaven by keshi until the end)

you’re running. you don’t know where you’re running to or why you’re running, but you’re running.

coming to the sudden realization that you did, in fact make the wrong choice trying to get a soulmate mark, you felt utterly disappointed with yourself. you hoped it wasn’t too late like you thought it was. you hoped he didn’t hate you for kicking him out of your dorm with disdain dripping from your voice. you hoped he felt the same.

hyunjae had been there for you when you were at your lowest, when you expected to be alone. hyunjae had been there to pick you back up and put you back together again when you got dumped the first time and then, the second time with jaehyun. he had been there for you, not because he was lonely and wanted you to be lonely with him, but because he cared. he knew exactly what you were feeling even if he didn’t say it and you were so stupid to think otherwise. the gorgeous boy didn’t have a mark like you and he made it his personal mission to get you to where he was with the fact that he didn’t have one: at peace.

it was like he was sent to you that day on campus from the stars, but you foolishly ignored all the signs. too blinded by your own misery, but you wanted to make it right. you just hoped he would be able to forgive you.

now, you didn’t know where hyunjae lived. you’ve never been over to his place since he was always at yours, but you were running through the chilly streets trying to find him. it was better to start at school since it was finals week and he’d most likely be in the library like he always is. breathless, you made your way through the shelves trying to keep your heavy breathing at bay in order to not disturb the other students. searching and searching from table to table, you couldn’t find the familiar brown mop of curls anywhere.

dejected, but not wanting to give up right now, you left. the nighttime security had to scold you for running through the library to which you replied with a sheepish smile as you slowed down your steps. when you made it back outside you started sprinting towards the parking garage, hoping you’d catch him before he left campus. he had to know how you felt, even if the feelings weren’t reciprocated and he was upset with you for being harsh. his words still repeated in your mind like a mantra, no mark can be a soulmate mark.

running across the entrance and exit of the lot, you’re met with bright headlights as the oncoming vehicle comes to a screeching halt. the driver exits the car, furious that you almost costed him a life’s worth of insurance (literally) and you let out a breath of relief when you see who it is.

“are you fucking crazy?” hyunjae yells, marching right at you. “do you wanna die? running around so recklessly.”

“hyunjae!” you yell, frantically. “hyunjae, hyunjae hyunjae!” running up to him, you grip him by the arms and he looks like he wants to shake you off. you don’t care. “hyunjae! I was looking for you!”

he makes a face, despite the pounding in his heart. “for what? to yell at me again?”

“no no,” you shake your head frantically, shaking him slightly as well. “I have to tell you something.”

“congratulations,” he says bitterly. “you found your soulmate, I wish you the best. can you let go of me now?”

“I didn’t get the mark” you say happily and hyunjae’s confused. “I left doris in the middle of our session.”

“okay...” he says suspiciously, “what does that have to do with me?”

shaking him again, you let out a scream that startles the boy. you’re too pumped from all the adrenaline you got from running, almost getting hit, and finding the person you were looking for. “you ask too many questions. shut up and listen!”

“hyunjae,” you start, a little calmer now. the lights from hyunjae’s car shines on the two of you and you can see every bit of his face that you’ve missed so much. “on my way here, I've been thinking a lot about what you said thanks to a black cat named kitty. no mark can be a soulmate mark if you allow it, right? well, kitty told me the same thing and hyunjae, those words are so true.”

he says nothing, even if he had questions about why you were talking to a cat and you continue. “some days, I woke up not knowing who the hell I was,” you say softly this time, coming closer. “through all the repeated heartbreak and anger, I was slowly losing myself until you came along with your stupid pack of tissues. you’ve been there for me when you didn’t need to and I'm so sorry that I pushed you away like that because I was selfish.”

“what are you trying to say, y/n?” he asks you, eyes soft and bearing into yours.

“you said the universe has other plans for me,” you smile at him, affection dripping from your voice. “and that plan is you. you’re the one I've been waiting for this whole time. I was just too blinded by my obsession with a mark to see that I didn’t need one to know who I was meant to be with, forever.”

hyunjae takes a step forward, hands coming up to caress your jaw. you lean into his touch, finally feeling at home. “don’t push me off this time, okay?”

giggling, you nod. he leans in and this time the kiss is slow, unlike the one shared in your dorm. there’s no sparks like in the movies, there’s no fireworks that light up behind your eyes as you kiss him, but it was still perfect. as his lips molded with yours, it’s like everything inside you clicked. your stars becoming aligned with every brush of his thumb against your cheek. heart mending back together again as you both mutter words of affirmations against your lips’. he took his time with you, kissing you deeply just to show how long he’s also been waiting for you, too.

pulling apart, he rests his forehead against yours. “you were perfectly made for me,” he whispers, breath fanning your lips. “I have waited so long for you.”

your moment was cut short when someone honks their horn. with frightened eyes, you both turn to look at the only other car in the lot. sticking his head out of the window is jaehyun with a bright smile on his face. on the other side, you assume it’s his soulmate who is also sticking her head out of the window with a grin full of admiration. you can’t help but laugh at the irony of it all. “get out of the way, lovebirds!” he yells, honking his horn again. “some of us have finals to cry over!”

taglist: @deputyjuyeon @wonjaems @nyujjan @changminurheart @stxrles-nxmss @wooyoung-a @tr330 @moonieric @exfolitae @cybersxn @softyfor-sweaterpaws @lilacdreams-00 @nycol-ie @morauvmi @tsukypoetic @luvrbin @cursedsunoo @sohnkiss @gyuza @pockyandme @mavericsohn @paolennenicole @allorysayshi @nanamioo @changmin-wrlds @i6swoo @en-sun

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cupidjyu · 1 year ago

Text

crocheted flowers

hyunjae x reader

when hyunjae, the man who you hate and who hates you in return, becomes your temporary bodyguard, the two of you surprisingly grow closer through misunderstandings and... flirting.

genre: enemies to lovers, royal au, bodyguard hyunjae, flirting, slow dancing, he's very strong, and very protective, yet so gentle, misunderstandings, past mistreatment mentioned notes: hahahahahaha word count: 13k

Even with your head resting on your palm, it still lolled down. Were your eyes being taped shut? Why couldn’t you keep them open? Maybe it was because you were crocheting late into the night. Still, this meeting couldn’t be any more boring.

“Are you listening, Your Highness?”

Immediately, you jerked up, blinking your eyes rapidly. You looked around, squinting through your exhaustion. Everyone sitting around the table had their eyes on you–some looked concerned, some amused, and some… disappointed.

“What? Yes, yes,” you stammered. “I’m listening.”

The stern-looking woman stared at you for a second before eventually nodding. She was horribly intimidating, though you understood why. She was the event organizer (you liked to call her party planner instead) so she had to ensure everything was perfect.

“The ball is confirmed to be two weeks from now…”

You yawned, adjusting your clothes which were very uncomfortable, dare you add. When you looked around, you made eye contact with Haknyeon, your bodyguard. He grinned and mocked your sleeping form with exaggerated hand signs which you scoffed at quietly. When you moved your head to the side, your eyes landed on Hyunjae, your other bodyguard.

Quickly, your mood soured just at the sight of him. You try to avoid speaking his name or addressing him at all, but whenever you do, it’s spoken with a harsh, uncaring tone. It’s not like he didn’t share the same feelings.

He raised an eyebrow, leaning forward and tilting his head. Then, he glanced down at the papers set in front of you that you were supposed to be looking over right now.

Focus, he mouthed.

Your jaw clenched and you tore your gaze away from him stubbornly. Th2ough, you did actually decide to tune into the meeting. You were pretty sure you heard your name about three times.

“As requested by the King, Y/n’s escort will not be a prince from another land. At least for now. Instead, her escort shall be her personal bodyguard.”

You perked up at that. You’ve always despised the possibility that you would be forced to walk into a ball with some stuck-up prince that you had met just a minute ago. With a smile, you turned to look at Haknyeon. He was your personal bodyguard, the one who follows you around all day. Hyunjae on the other hand, had the role of guarding your door. So thankfully, your escort was Haknyeon and not him.

But to your surprise, Haknyeon quickly looked away with a sheepish look. You furrowed your eyebrows. Did he not want to be your escort?

Please no, I can’t go with Hyunjae. Anyone but him.

After the meeting, you walked out, still slightly groggy after your mid-meeting nap. Instantly, Haknyeon was by your side like the perfect bodyguard that he was. You sighed, holding your stomach as you turned to him. “Do you want to eat lunch with me during your break?”

Yet again, he gave you a guilty look. “I have something… to do.”

“Oh,” you breathed. “That’s okay. Just make sure to make it up next time,” you playfully replied.

“Of course, Y/n.” He grinned back. That was another thing you liked about Haknyeon. He didn’t often call you ‘Your Highness’ which you always felt was too proper. You liked it when he called you just by your name.

“Want me to save you dessert?” You giggled.

He hummed, his eyes sparkling just at the thought. “You know me so well.” He glanced back at one of the staff calling him over. “I’ll be right back.”

You nodded and watched him jog over to pick up some equipment. Haknyeon would always be your favorite bodyguard. He was kind and had a great sense of humor. Especially after following you around and protecting you for a few years, he knew a lot about you compared to really… anyone else.

You heard a shift behind you and you whipped around. Your alert state quickly dissolved into an annoyed one as you faced Hyunjae who was leaning against the wall, right next to you.

You narrowed your eyes. “Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to go back to your post?”

He turned to look at you before turning to face the wall. He liked to do that–ignore you rudely. “Haknyeon’s occupied right now. You can’t be alone.”

You roll your eyes and clenched a fist. Oh, how you hated his stupid, unimpressed expression and his even stupider arms that were crossed over his chest. “I don’t need your help,” you gritted out.

“And I don’t want to help you. This is just my job.” He merely glanced at you.

You swore you saw red as you stepped forward. “You–”

You were then startled by Haknyeon who appeared behind you, gently guiding you back from possibly pouncing on one of your bodyguards. “Y/n,” he laughed nervously as he pulled you along in the direction of your room. “I think you’re tired. How long have you been crocheting?”

“A few hours,” you muttered. “But still, I’m not tired. He’s just so… obnoxious. And mean! And–” You just groaned, completely frustrated.

Being born into a royal family, you naturally already had enemies, most of them being from other lands or old classmates you used to argue with. But you didn’t pay them any mind. The only enemy that you did pay mind was Hyunjae, your own bodyguard. You hated him so much.

He was strict with you and never treated you nicely. He never even gave you a reason for doing so. It was like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed, every single day. He always had these snarky responses and annoyed glares directed only at you. You just couldn’t stand him.

And that is why you would like to sincerely thank whoever invented hot showers. You didn’t care if it practically burned your skin, it always let off those knots in your muscles whenever you interacted with your arch-nemesis bodyguard. With damp hair and your sleepwear on, you headed back to your room.

Usually, at this time, Hyunjae was on his break, meaning he wouldn’t witness you without your usual attire and with messy, disheveled hair. You were always expected to look your best in front of others, whether you liked them or not.

But just as you turned the corner, you stopped abruptly in your tracks, almost slipping on the floor. His post was supposed to be empty yet he was standing right there.

Cautiously, you approached your door with an annoyance already creeping up your spine. “Why are you here?”

“Funny, that’s the second time you asked.” His eyes narrowed when he noticed you tensing at his words. “Again, it’s my job. My break got pushed back.”

You took in a deep breath as if that would do anything to calm your anger. “You’re so… rude. What would your boss think?”

“Technically, you’re my boss.”

You blinked in realization before quickly schooling your face neutrally.

“And even so—“ He paused when he heard a sound from down the hallway. He almost became… alert. Sometimes, you forget that he was still a bodyguard. When he realized it was just a broom that had simply fallen over, he relaxed and turned back to you. “I couldn’t care less.”

“You’ll care when I fire you,” you spoke through your teeth. Yet, he only stared at you unimpressed.

“But you know that I’m the best option. How could you let me go?” He faked a pout. You stayed quiet, knowing that he was right. The other bodyguards were a bit too… energetic and admiring for your liking.

You sighed, glancing at your door. “Still, you shouldn’t see me like this.” You eyed yourself who was the opposite of put together right now. “There’s a reason why I wanted you on break.” You looked away, slightly embarrassed.

You could feel his eyes on you, or more specifically, traveling over you. Then he hummed, almost amused.

“I see no difference, Your Highness.”

“Ah, so you’re a liar too.”

He looked like he was about to refute but he eventually sighed and gestured to your room. “Just go to your room.”

—

The next day, you stood at the entrance of the same meeting room. When the door opened, you were met with the sight of your two bodyguards as well as the event organizer standing, seemingly waiting for you. You gulped. Were you in trouble for falling asleep? No, that can’t be.

“What’s this about?” You spoke nervously. Your eyes landed on Haknyeon, who was frowning and giving you pitiful eyes. You furrowed your eyebrows. “Are you okay?”

The woman cleared her throat. “Everything’s perfectly fine. Your bodyguard here…” She gestured to Haknyeon. “Was granted a month of vacation to go back home.”

You immediately brightened at those words, bounding over to Haknyeon and hugging him tightly. “That’s great!” You exclaimed. “You deserve it. So much.”

Haknyeon smiled back but frowned afterward. “I’ll miss you though,” he whined.

“Hey, it’s only a month. Besides, you should enjoy yourself.”

“…and,” the woman continued. “That will mean that Hyunjae will temporarily take his place as your personal bodyguard.”

That was when you froze, going so silent you could hear a pin drop. You turned to her with your mouth agape and your heart fallen to the floor. “What.”

She only offered a measly smile while you could only stare in disbelief. Was this possibly your punishment for taking a nap during the meeting? Have you been chosen for torture on this planet? Why—

“Why couldn’t you choose anyone else? It could be anyone but him.” You glared at Hyunjae who also seemed surprised and agitated.

She pinched the bridge of her nose with a long sigh as if she expected this response. “Because Hyunjae knows more about you than any of the other bodyguards. He’s the best choice who is aptly strong and calm, especially for someone of your energy.”

“But you know we don’t get along,” you refuted.

She frowned but eventually nodded, understanding your argument. “Your Highness, if you would really like to request a change then let me know. But if you were to keep your relationship with him strictly professional, then there should be no problems.”

“I…” You bit your lip. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t want to change, but you also hated the idea of being a burden, especially for someone who was so preoccupied with setting up the ball. Shutting your eyes with a wince, you groaned quietly in defeat. “Fine. I guess we can manage for a month.”

“Great!” She clapped enthusiastically while Haknyeon snorted in amusement. “I’ll be off now.”

Once she was gone, you could hear your now former bodyguard laugh, clearly enjoying the show. Then he stepped forward and turned to Hyunjae with a knowing look.

“What are you waiting for?” His tone was nothing but teasing. “Go stand by Y/n.”

Hyunjae stared at him, obviously annoyed before reluctantly going to your side. You looked up at him before rolling your eyes. He was awfully tall, which made it a lot harder to really argue with him.

“What a view,” Haknyeon laughed even louder.

“I don’t want to do this either,” Hyunjae whispered, looking at you with a harsh demeanor.

“At least we agree on something.”

—

You stalked through the halls, your mood completely ruined. What exasperated you even more was the footsteps trailing behind you, belonging to your new temporary bodyguard, the one man that you despised.

You stopped abruptly and turned around.

“Can you just not follow me? I think I can manage on my own. I especially don’t want to be with you.”

He simply looked at you without budging. “You know I can’t do that, Your Highness.”

You sighed at his mocking tone, exasperated before turning around and beginning to walk again. Well, before you stopped abruptly once more, causing Hyunjae to almost bump into you. Something just dawned on you, leaving your chest seizing for air.

“Does that mean you’re my… escort for the ball?” You seriously contemplated somehow pushing back the ball until next month. There was no way it would be in two weeks when you would have to enter the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

He nodded wordlessly, obviously not happy about it either.

“God, I hate this,” you mumbled, leaning your head back. “You’re going to be the worst bodyguard ever.”

“And do you think I really consider that important?” He stared back at you condescendingly.

“You–” Stepping forward, you completely forgot that there was still that broom on the floor. How come no one picked it up? Maybe you should have been more aware. Being the clumsy person you were, your foot quickly caught onto it, leaving you stumbling forward. This was why it was important you had a bodyguard following you around.

You were about to accept your fate of a broken nose until you felt a cool hand grasp your wrist that was flailing mid-air, holding you up. You blinked in surprise, looking up only for you to realize that you were alarmingly close to Hyunjae’s face.

He didn’t seem at all fazed though, watching as you, on the other hand, were incredibly shocked over his sheer strength of being able to hold you up with one hand.

“I wouldn’t advise stepping there.” If you looked closely, you could see the corners of his lips lift slightly at his own remark. “There’s a broom on the floor.”

You scoffed, pulling away harshly. “Thank you so much for the warning.”

“Anytime.” He faked a bow.

“Oh, you–” You paused before you would fall over again. “You know what? Just shut up. Let’s just not talk for a month.”

“Fine by me.”

As you walked, you were surprised to hear that there were no footsteps behind you anymore. With curiosity getting the best of you, you turned around, only to see that he had stopped to pick up the broom and set it back up.

“Huh,” you breathed, slightly surprised.

(Hyunjae sighed, sitting down on the couch and throwing an arm over his eyes. He was exhausted and he had only followed you for an hour. How was he going to do this every day and for a month at that?

He heard a creak and the weight of someone else sitting beside him. Looking over, he was met with Haknyeon, again with a gloating expression. It seemed that he had brought his luggage over, already packed and ready to leave him with you. Alone.

“Excited?” The shorter grinned smugly.

“Don’t kid me,” Hyunjae sighed with a frown. “I honestly wished they would have requested another guard at this point. All I was supposed to do was guard the door, not follow them around all day.”

Haknyeon hummed thoughtfully before leaning back with him. “Can I ask you something?” When Hyunjae offered no response, the younger continued. “Why do you hate Y/n so much? What did they do to make you despise them that much?”

Hyunjae paused before letting out a low sigh. “Nothing. I just… I’ve had my fair share of royalties.” His mind flashed back to when he used to be in one of the lower ranks of the staff. He was never treated right, always pushed around and spoken to harshly by none other than the royal family who promised that they would protect him with all their being. Lies. He had always wanted to be a bodyguard. But in the process of becoming one, he realized just how cruel people can be.

And so, when he was actually promoted to be one, he already entered the position with low hopes and crushed dreams. He expected the exact same treatment from you.

“Y/n’s probably just the same.”

Haknyeon looked at him sympathetically, as if to tell solely through his eyes that he understood where he was coming from. “But Y/n’s different. I promise you that. After spending so much personal time with them, trust me when I say that they’re not like the others.”

Hyunjae could only shut his eyes before mumbling a quiet, “Enjoy your vacation. I’ll be suffering.”)

–

“Please stop staring,” you forced out. You knew that just the day before you had suggested not talking, but something about his… face as he looked at you through the reflection of your mirror bothered you so much to the point that you had to say something. His eyes were different than you expected as if he was almost interested in you getting ready for an outing.

But then, as obnoxious as he was, he faked a smile, leaning back against the wall. “I can’t do that, Your Highness. What if someone’s out there to hurt you?”

“That’s unlikely. So please stop whatever it is you’re doing.”

“I’m merely looking at you. Does that make you nervous?”

Your face contorted with anger at his words. “Hyunjae!” You groaned, setting down your makeup brush with a loud thud and turning around to glare at him.

“What?” He muttered.

“This is just for one month.” You straightened and walked over to him. You tried to look somewhat intimidating but knowing that he was the one whose job was to protect you, it was a bit difficult. “Can’t you be the least bit tolerable? I don’t even know why you hate me so much.”

He stared at you wordlessly before looking away with his jaw clenched. “I have my reasons.”

You huffed. “Well if you would tell me, maybe we could have worked this out.” Your shoulders hurt with how tense they were as you began to walk backwards. But yet again, you tripped. This time, it was on the carpet—the fancy type that seemed impossible to walk on.

Unlike before though, you fell backwards. One day you were going to end up with a broken bone. Your life flashed before your eyes until you felt a strong hand wrap around your waist.

Quickly, he pulled you up and right against his body. Without you realizing, you had planted your hands on his chest, creating the distance that was very minimized considering how firmly he was holding you. You could feel the wind get knocked out of you, out of breath as you stared at Hyunjae with wide eyes.

His eyes searched your features carefully. His expression was mostly the same except for how the harsh lines on his face had disappeared for some reason.

“I said you can’t get hurt.” His voice was also… less harsh.

You gulped as you lifted your hands off his chest. But some part of you kept your fingertips there, feeling his heartbeat drum against them. Your cheeks felt warm as you stared at him wordlessly, trying to come up with some sort of response.

“I…” Your voice wavered. “I wish you were bad at your job.”

And to your surprise, he smirked. “Oh? Are you saying that I’m good at protecting you?”

Your hands wandered down to his which still grasped your waist. You squeezed it, reminding him to let go because, for some reason, he forgot. He raised an eyebrow suggestively.

“Do not put words in my mouth.” And when he still didn’t let go, you grabbed hold of it instead, pulling it off and ignoring the spark you felt at his touch.

—

It would no longer be Haknyeon following you around the whole day. It would be him. Oh, how you hated him. You hated your clumsiness as well, considering that he kept on saving you by holding you with the sheer strength of just one arm.

Refreshed after a good night’s sleep, you opened your door before jumping at the sight of Hyunjae standing before you. Yet again, you were reminded of how annoyingly tall he was as he stepped aside for you.

“Your Highness,” he greeted with a lazy voice.

You stared at him silently before turning on your heel and heading down the hall. But no matter how fast you walked and no matter how many turns you took, he remained behind you.

(Hyunjae followed silently as you traversed through the never-ending halls. He had never seen a royal member willingly walk through the whole castle before, or even leave their section at all.

He watched, intrigued and curious as you turned every corner, occasionally knocking on doors and peeking in. You seemed to be having conversations with whoever resided inside. That was what perplexed him more. You were in the section of the castle where the staff stayed.

If he walked closer or you would slow down slightly, he could hear you mumbling to yourself, as if to make a to-do list.

“Make… soup…no!…she’s allergic.”

He couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow in pleasant surprise.)

“What’s the rush?” He remarked, just as you were finished speaking with one of the maids.

You glanced back at him. “I have much to do. If you don’t want to follow, then go as you please.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that I can’t do that?”

You stared at him for a moment before sighing. At least he was dedicated. “Then hurry up you… turtle.”

You must have been dreaming because why did his lips lift up into a smile for a second? And how come you heard a chuckle?

And then, to your slight shock, he sped up so that he was walking by your side. Even if you tried to confuse him by taking shortcuts, he continued to accompany you.

“You—“

“Just doing my job, Your Highness.”

You rolled your eyes at the way he always addressed you.

—

First, he followed you to the kitchen. He guarded the doorway, as always leaning against the wall.

You felt his eyes on you as you moved past each cabinet, pulling out ingredients for your most beloved specialty: pancakes! You knew the measurements by heart and soon enough, the batter was already mixed and being poured into a pan.

You could see him tilt his head in the corner of your eye.

“What are you cooking for?” He spoke up. “You do know we have chefs for that.”

“I know that.” You flipped the pancake successfully for once. “Just… one of the staff fell sick so I wanted to make her something.”

His eyes widened slightly as he straightened up at your words. It seemed like something you said had shocked him, though you had no idea what. And when you glanced back at him, you realized that his stiff demeanor had slightly softened. Was it because you were simply cooking for a staff member? Was that so odd?

Brushing off the hair that fell over your face, you jerkily turned back to the pancakes before they burned. It was silent for a while yet you couldn’t help but shake off the feeling of Hyunjae staring at you as if trying to decipher what you were doing.

(Hyunjae watched and watched, yet continued to become more and more perplexed. You were spending your energy cooking for a staff member rather than ridiculing them for every mistake they made? His eyes followed you around the room, completely shamelessly as you moved back and forth, making what looked like fluffy pancakes.

But slowly, his gaze moved from your movements to, well, your features. Something about how you looked was almost mesmerizing. Gone were the prim and proper, perfectly hair-sprayed styles. Instead, your hair was messy, falling over your eyes constantly which he couldn’t help but hum with amusement.

You were also void of any heavier makeup, allowing him to see your features more clearly. Your eyes were focused yet shone without any glitter and your lips… pursed but…

He awkwardly cleared his throat. What was he thinking? He wasn’t supposed to look at you in that way.

Luckily, you hadn’t noticed his staring.)

He was staring. He was definitely staring.

Why? You weren’t too sure. Maybe he was plotting a plan that would lead to your demise. Typical of him. But, you were too focused on cooking that you decided to pay it no mind, hurriedly brushing your hair out of your face once again.

A few minutes later, you glanced up, solely for the reason of shooting him a glare. A bit immature, but that was how you two usually regarded each other anyway. But, to your surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. And you expected to feel a sense of relief, but for some reason, something shot through your heart.

You were alone—without him to catch you. You gulped nervously and hesitantly turned back to your pancakes. Just as you finished the second-to-last batch, you felt a warm presence behind you. Before you could turn around, a hand brushed against the nape of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. And for some reason, you could immediately tell it was Hyunjae.

“What are you doing?”

He didn’t respond. Instead, you felt another hand grasp your hair, pulling it up and away from your face. He leaned closer from behind, peering at the side of your face to make sure he didn’t miss any strands. Suddenly, the room felt ridiculously hotter than before. You stayed utterly still and completely unsure of what to do.

He was tying your hair for you.

Once you felt your hair being fastened, you tried to whip around but you felt a gentle grip on your shoulders that made you face the counter once again. “Turn back around,” he muttered with a chiding tone. Bewildered, you stared at the wall, your heart pounding. Your hands gripped the side of the counter as you shut your eyes and cringed.

And if you thought he was done, he certainly wasn’t. His hands had left your hair and wandered down to your waist. Though he didn’t completely grasp it, that brief brush with his gentle hand sent you spiraling. You felt your apron tightening as he tied it again. It must have come loose earlier. Still, that didn’t answer your question as to why he was doing this all in the first place.

(Hyunjae did not enjoy this. He certainly wasn’t biting back a smirk as he noticed your reddening ears and your hands holding onto the counter for dear life.

And just for a bit more fun, as he tightened the knot of the apron, he yanked you backward, sending you stumbling and falling back against his chest where he kept you steady, his hand ghosting just over your hip. He could tell you were trying to look angry as you looked up at him with a frown that looked more nervous and confused than intimidating.

Slowly, he lost his battle with holding back a smile. But just before you could catch him, he leaned toward your ear and whispered, “You wouldn’t want to ruin your clothes would you?”

You gulped and he could see how flushed your cheeks were.

“Why would you care?” You replied.

Hyunjae blinked and he quickly leaned away from you. He steadied you but created that distance that the two of you were most familiar with. Why did he care?)

Your mind was befuddled. The two of you were supposed to be arguing, throwing insults, and doing everything that had to do with hatred. But what was that? That was nothing like what you two were supposed to do. That was…

You shook your head out of your trance. He was probably just messing with you, trying to find your weakness to use it against you in the future.

“Don’t startle me like that again,” you said shakily, flexing your hand nervously. You turned back to your unfinished batter and picked up the whisk, beginning to stir its contents. You would have been done with this already if it weren’t for his… assistance.

“Can I assist you once more?” He asked, this time appearing at your side. Your gaze hardened as you turned to him. Your hand came up to mindlessly swipe the hair off your face, only to find nothing because the very man right next to you had already tied it up. You scoffed and tilted your chin up, yet he only gazed back without emotion–except for that small bit of amusement behind the twinkle of his eyes.

“Fine, if you would be so kind.”

Hyunjae reached over, taking–prying, because you were that stubborn–the whisk from your hand and moved the bowl over. He began to mix and to your large dislike, he was much more efficient when doing so. You set your hands on the counter and watched. You tried to keep your eyes solely on his obnoxiously handsome face or on the batter being mixed in the bowl, but instead, your gaze wandered to his… arms.

Bodyguards always wore simple black and white suits–easy to move around, yet form-fitting enough to look formal. And that was what bothered you so much. Why, under his suit, could you see the muscles of his arm flex so clearly as he used the mixed? And why, with his suit on, did you start imagining it off–leaving him only in a white dress shirt and a loose tie? Your mouth went dry.

Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by his breathy laugh. You looked up, only to be met with a small smirk, barely visible, but enough to leave you embarrassed anyway.

“Eyes on the bowl, not my arm.” He nodded towards the bowl, already fully mixed for a while now, which you didn’t notice.

You suppressed a groan, elbowing him so that you could finish cooking. “Shut up, Hyunjae. You’re distracting me.”

“In what way?”

“You’re face is unbearable.”

“Hm, could have sworn it was my arms.”

–

After dropping off the pancakes to various staff member rooms that quickly filled with grateful smiles, you led Hyunjae out to the garden. He trailed behind you as you wandered the various, intricately carved trails, searching for the prettiest and brightest flowers. When you found the perfect patch, you immediately knelt down, slightly adjusting your hair. Carefully, you picked the flowers, bunching them into a basket.

Just like before, it was silent. Well, up until Hyunjae decided to start a conversation again, as weird as it was. You would never get used to it.

“Your Highness.” His voice was softer.

You squinted up at him. “What?”

He gestured to the flowers being held in your hand. “Your hands will get dirty.”

“I know,” you sighed. You never particularly enjoyed the feeling. “But I noticed that some of the vases were empty. I’m going to refill them again.”

When there was no response, you looked up, only to see Hyunjae staring at you in surprise. His lips parted and his head was tilted ever so slightly. You noticed he did that often when he was confused. Almost like a… puppy.

(Hyunjae’s chest felt tight. You had specific workers to fill up those vases and cook pancakes yet you… did those tasks on your own accord. Maybe Haknyeon wasn’t all too wrong. Maybe…)

You yelped. Immediately, Hyunjae was kneeling down, taking your arm, and pulling you up to stand. “Are you okay?”

You searched his eyes with bewilderment. “I-”

His touch was gentle and careful as he brought your hands up for examination. “You should have used gloves, Your Highness. I knew you would get hurt.” His thumb pressed comfortingly into your palm.

“No!” You blurted out, causing him to jump. He looked up from one of your hands, completely missing the fact that he was so close that if he leaned any closer, he would be kissing the back of it. “I’m not hurt.”

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You’re not?”

“No,” you argued with a scowl. “Did you not hear the loud thunder a few moments ago? It startled me that’s all.”

“Thunder?” He furrowed his eyebrows. And then he looked at you like something dawned on him. “Thunder,” he breathed. “You need to go back inside.”

“Wha– why?” You exclaimed, already being dragged down the trail. You stumbled after his strides as you silently cursed his long legs. Soon enough though, your question was answered with the sudden pour of rain over your heads. It was so heavy that it began to seep through your clothes, sending a shudder through your whole body. And that meant that Hyunjae, who was holding onto your hand, would feel it tremble.

He stopped abruptly and turned back around to face you.

“What are you doing?” You asked hurriedly. “We still have a long way to…” Your voice trailed off once you realized what exactly he was doing. He was taking off the jacket of his suit, leaving him only in his white dress shirt and a messed-up tie. Huh. Didn’t you just imagine that back in the kitchen?

He stepped forward and he held the jacket up over your head, acting as an umbrella. “Ready, Your Highness?” Yet again, his face lacked any emotion.

“Yes,” you breathed. The two of you avoided running so as to not slip on the forming mud, but everything felt incredibly fast-paced anyway. Hyunjae, who continued to shield you from the rain, kept on stealing glances at you to make sure you were okay. Everytime you caught him, you would scrunch your nose and silently gesture for him to focus on getting back.

As you got closer, it was you who decided to steal a glance. You inhaled sharply when you realized that most of Hyunjae’s body was soaked by rain. His wet hair fell over his eyes and his shirt stuck to his skin. He was keeping you dry while he…

You hadn’t even noticed that you two were indoors already. Hyunjae let out an exasperated sigh, brushing a hand through his soaked hair.

“Did you not check the weather before you—“

You ignored his words, instead storming over and smacking him plainly on his shoulder. He stared at you, clearly unimpressed. He never seemed to flinch.

You frowned, looking around for a towel, only for there to be none in sight. With a groan, you turned back to him. “You’ll catch a cold, you idiot.”

“I’ve had worse,” he replied.

“Like what?”

“Like when I had to work while having a fever.”

You gasped and your frown deepened. “That’s so mean, who made you do that? I must have a talk with them.”

“I don’t think you must. Not when the person is none other than your own cousin.”

You felt your heart drop to your stomach. You were always aware that Hyunjae wasn’t always a bodyguard. But to learn how he was treated previously…

You huffed and shook your head. “Cousin or not, that won’t change anything. If he treated you unfairly, then he deserves to be ridiculed.”

Hyunjae looked at you yet again, in surprise, his eyes slightly widened. So there’s finally more emotion in his face. “There’s no need, Your Highness. You do know that you’re supposed to hate me, right?”

You swallowed thickly. It hit you then. The two of you… hadn’t insulted each other in a while. It was weird but not something you were against.

“I don’t…” You sighed. “You’ve helped me a lot recently, so I— I don’t know. I want to repay you.”

“Okay,” he whispered. You looked up, trying not to pay attention to how attractive your bodyguard looked when soaked with rain. He was a lot more muscular than you thought, considering his shirt was see-through. “But this is my job, Your Highness. There’s nothing to repay.”

You grumbled. “I get to decide that.”

And to your pleasant surprise, he laughed. It was a nice sound and an even nicer change of pace with his usual stoic personality.

“But thank you.” He smiled softly. “I appreciate it, Your Highness.”

You couldn’t help but smile back. You looked down to examine your picked flowers. But then you slapped your hand over your face.

“Ah, my basket. I forgot it.”

“Would you like me to get it for you?”

You glanced out the window. The rain was still pouring. “Don't be ridiculous.”

“I wasn’t. You spent a lot of time picking those flowers. I can get them for you.”

Your cheeks flushed as you looked away. You never thought he would go to such lengths for… you. Then again, it was his job. But it felt different either way. It felt like your heart was racing.

“Shut up,” you muttered. “Go dry yourself off instead.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” He tilted his head with a teasing smile.

And for some reason, that smile and that soft gaze left you breathless.

—

After Hyunjae was all dry—now only wearing just a dress shirt and tie this time (much to your quiet enjoyment)—he followed you to your last stop of the day. The library. It was large and filled with rows upon rows of books that almost everyone couldn’t understand. You weren’t any different. You simply enjoyed the peace and quiet of the atmosphere, where you could crochet to your heart’s content.

You sat on a chair and tried to focus, but your mind was distracted—distracted by your bodyguard who was standing by your side silently. When Haknyeon accompanied you, he would start conversations or try to read one of the books. To say this was uncomfortable was a huge understatement.

You set down the needles and patted the chair next to you.

“Do you want to sit down?” You looked up at him. He gazed at you before reluctantly sitting down, facing you slightly.

There definitely was progress in your relationship with him but it was still painfully awkward. Every time the two of you would make eye contact, it would quickly break. Fidgeting hands, darting eyes, shifting in your seat—it was just so graceless.

“I’m not that bad,” you whispered, facing him with a soft smile. “You can talk to me.”

Hyunjae leaned back in his chair, stretching slightly. “I guess you’re not. But hm, I’m not too sure.”

“Hey.” You glared. This time though, your glare was playful and you even struggled to hold back a smile. “Say anything. Start a conversation. I promise I won’t bite.”

He huffed out a quiet laugh. “I never thought you would bite. You practically trip over air every time I look at you.”

You stuttered and your cheeks quickly started to feel warm as you quickly stared down at your lap. “I– I don’t mean to…” When you looked back up, you saw Hyunjae staring at you with sparkles of amusement in his eyes. “You’re making fun of me.”

“Sorry,” he laughed with clearly no trace of an apology. “Fine, I’ll talk.” He leaned forward, propping his elbows on his thighs as he gestured to your crocheted piece of work. Which hopefully, he could tell it was a scarf. “Who’s this for?”

You stared at him, slightly confused. But then you realized, oh, he had witnessed you cooking and picking flowers for others. He must have assumed you were making this for someone as well. You shyly shook your head, gripping your work in progress tightly.

“Oh,” you laughed nervously, tearing your gaze away with embarrassment. “It’s just for me actually. This is my favorite hobby.” Your voice gradually became quieter and quieter. The only person who was well aware of your love of crocheting was Haknyeon. So to share it with Hyunjae is…

He hummed quietly and you could tell he was interested, rather than judging. He didn’t say anything after, instead choosing to watch you crochet. Usually, you were great at crocheting. Amazing actually! But something about his silent gaze on your hands left them shaking causing you to make a lot more mistakes than usual.

After your nth mistake, you sighed and placed the unfinished scarf in your lap with a frustrated groan. You needed to do something–anything–to steer his eyes away from your hands. It wasn’t uncomfortable per se, but it was… nerve-wracking. For some odd reason, you felt your heart beat faster than usual.

Abruptly, you turned to him. “Do you want to learn?”

He froze as he eyed your intricate work. Then he shook his head softly. “This isn’t my type of thing.”

“Then what do you like? Or are you just a boring guy?”

He rolled his eyes. “I like to workout.”

You scoffed. “That’s such a you thing to enjoy.” Except, you didn’t make that statement just because you knew he was a bodyguard and had to be strong enough anyway. Really, you said it because you could not, for your life, get the image of him, rain-soaked with a tight shirt that clung to his body out of your mind.

He was quiet for a moment before he tilted his chin downwards, looking you straight in the eyes. You gulped nervously. Why was he staring at you so intently? When you looked closely, you could see a small teasing smile appear on his lips.

“Then how else do I catch you when you fall?” He paused and his voice lowered. “Your Highness.”

Now, it felt like your heart was in your throat. You cleared it desperately as you quickly turned away, hoping you were fast enough to hide your reddening cheeks.

–

“Can’t I do something?” You complained. You twirled around and wandered through the various set-up tables. There were staff members everywhere, intricately putting up centerpieces and making sure that every tablecloth had not a single wrinkle, every plate was without a singular smudge and every flower was placed perfectly.

The head organizer, who was busy checking things off her important-looking clipboard, glanced at you before shaking her head in disapproval.

“No, you can’t.”

“Why?” You gave your best pleading look but she wasn’t even looking at you.

“This is our job, Your Highness. We don’t want to bother you.”

“But–” She was already long gone, chasing down a guy who accidentally put a napkin backward.

Biting your lip, you glanced around and your eyes quickly landed on Hyunjae who was nearby, helping move things around for the upcoming ball. It was drawing near and you still weren’t completely sure about walking in with Hyunjae on your arm.

You hurried over to him and he was quick to notice you approaching.

“Can I help? Please?”

He looked you over. You were dressed in your more expensive attire which would make it harder for you to move around and help. But you still wanted to try anyway. He sighed and shook his head, much to your demise.

“No, Your Highness. I can’t afford you getting hurt.” You pursed your lips. But, before you could come up with some sort of snarky response, he suddenly leaned in. “Besides, I don’t think you’re strong enough,” he whispered before pulling away with a mischievous smile.

You shut your eyes and leaned your head back, annoyed. “I definitely am.”

He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. Instead, he walked past you to pull out one of the nearby chairs. “Then sit here for a moment. We’ll find something to do after I’m done.”

You nodded and sat down. You tried to look around but quickly found that your head began to hurt the more you tried to comprehend the chaos that was called setting up for a ball. And so, you decided to turn your focus back to the only person you could mostly comprehend.

Hyunjae was busy lifting heavy boxes. His sleeves were rolled up and his hair was slightly messy. But despite his disheveled look, he certainly was a very attractive man, you came to realize. Your eyes widened, as you looked him over. You studied his prince-like features and his broad build. You hadn’t even noticed that your whole face began to feel warm.

You coughed awkwardly and quickly turned your gaze away. You focused instead on the utensils on the table nearby. What were you thinking? Staring at Hyunjae like that?

Adjusting the fork countless times quickly became boring. You bit your lip and winced.

It wouldn’t hurt to take one last glance, right?

Slowly, very slowly, you turned your head, only to find that Hyunjae was nowhere to be seen.

But then you heard a shift next to you and you startled, turning and looking down. And of course, there he was, kneeling before you. He was out of breath but god, he looked so handsome. His eyes were gentle and his lips lifted slightly as he looked up to you.

“Enjoying the view, Your Highness?”

Your lungs seized and you felt yourself go dizzy. As if you were stung by his words, you abruptly stood up and quickly turned away. You were sure you weren’t being that obvious...

You heard him laugh fondly from behind as he stepped in front of you. No matter how many times you tried to avoid his eyes, he would bend down and force you to look anyway.

“You weren’t supposed to notice,” you muttered quietly.

“I guess.” He nodded. “But I like your eyes on me.”

If you weren’t at your breaking point then, you were now. You cringed with an incoherent sound and tried to walk away but you felt a gentle hand take yours. You whipped around, only to meet his expectant look.

“You said you wanted to find something to do, right?”

You sighed and reluctantly let him lead you through the ballroom. Hyunjae easily found a table that still needed to be set up while you… you were more focused on that whole situation from before. Every time you thought about it, you had to look away with reddening cheeks.

You glanced over to the empty spot in the middle of the ballroom which was designated for dancing. “Do you know what kind of dance there will be?”

Hyunjae looked at you as if you were joking. “The slow dance, is it not?”

“Still, that’s disappointing. I want something more fun.”

“Funny that you think there’s anything remotely fun at these types of royal events.” He abruptly paused and looked at you regretfully. He was staring at you like a deer in headlights over the fact that he just said that to you, a royal member. “Uh, I didn’t mean—“

You burst out laughing. “Don’t worry, I get what you mean.” You grinned mischievously. “We should leave early if that’s what you would like. I know a spot.” You led him out of the ballroom and began to walk through the halls.

“That’s up to you.” He looked at you in amusement, easily catching up with your fast strides. “Not me.”

You pretended to think like you didn’t already have your decision in mind. “Then… I say we escape as soon as we can.” You gave him a playful wink.

To your surprise, Hyunjae smiled. It was a wide one this time, unlike the subtle or teasing ones from before. You tilted your head, slightly endeared. “Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? You should do it more.”

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

You grimaced. “This is weird.”

“What’s weird?”

“You being so… obedient,” you whined. “I was just getting used to your insults.”

He huffed, slightly flustered. “I… I guess it’s because I’ve been wrong about you, that’s all.”

You widened your eyes and looked at him. “Really? How so?”

His gaze lowered. He looked almost embarrassed. “It was nothing too serious. I just… had past experiences when I wasn’t a bodyguard yet. I assumed you would be the same.”

Your wide eyes immediately softened. You already knew who he was talking about and you never once agreed with them.

Your voice was quiet. “Is that why you hated me all this time?”

“Yes,” he whispered. “And I sincerely apologize.”

You gave him a soft smile and lightly bumped into his shoulder, making him look up from the floor. He still wore an ashamed face but you could see that his stern eyes had melted. “It’s okay. I’m sorry too.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“What do you mean?” You snorted. “I argued with you too. I should have tried to understand you first.”

He leaned closer to you as the exit came into view. “And I should have told you earlier. We weren’t the most mature, huh?”

You laughed loudly and you didn’t know what came over you but you suddenly grabbed onto his arm as you two walked through the door and out to the private garden. This one was different than the one you were in previously. It was closed off by glass walls, rather than out in the open. But most of all, it was romantic and even more beautiful with dim lighting and colorful flowers lining a trail.

Holding onto his firm arm, you felt a sudden sense of peace. You felt like you were truly safe and protected.

Who knew that the man that you would refuse to look at would become your bodyguard who made you smile more times than you expected?

He stared quietly at your arms that were looped around his and he cleared his throat nervously. You could see that he had even straightened up and became more alert.

You smirked at him teasingly. “Why, do you feel more important now?”

He rolled his eyes fondly but shook his head. “It’s not me. It’s you. I feel like you’re the most important person at the moment.”

You choked on air and promptly turned to face forward, afraid that Hyunjae would notice your embarrassment. The two of you silently walked through the garden, admiring the various flowers.

“And just so you’re aware,” you started. “I hope that you feel comfortable with me. I promise that I won’t treat you like how they did. I hope you can trust me…” Your voice trailed off once you noticed Hyunjae staring down at you with a stupidly handsome smile. You furrowed your eyebrows. “What?”

“Nothing.” Despite his response, he wouldn’t stop looking at you. Something about how he always stared at you and never failed to look away made you feel your own pulse in your ears.

The two of you arrived at the center of the garden. Yet again, it was beautiful. But what you found most beautiful was the light feeling in your chest as you leaned against Hyunjae.

“Hyunjae.”

“Hm?” His gaze was warm even in the cooler atmosphere.

You eyed the empty space around you. There was no one else around. Just you and him, standing in the center of a garden that sparkled with dew. “Do you know how to dance?”

He gave you a skeptical look. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re my escort to the ball, of course!” You giggled. “You have to slow dance with me at some point.”

There was a slight blush that appeared on his cheeks. “That never… crossed my mind,” he said.

You gave him a teasing look. “So you don’t know?” When he didn’t give you a response, you couldn’t help but laugh, hopelessly endeared. He was always the tough one, but it seemed that when it came to the small romantic things, he was clueless. The more you noticed just how flustered he had become, the harder you laughed. You doubled over before almost falling straight into his chest.

Two hands grasped your waist, holding you steady. You were still laughing but it had quieted down. Hyunjae couldn’t even look you in the eye yet he continued to hold you from falling.

“Don’t be so… clumsy, Your Highness,” he muttered, tripping over his words slightly at how close you were to him. “Not knowing how to dance shouldn’t be so funny to you,” he later grumbled quietly to himself.

You smiled and straightened up. You moved one of your hands to his shoulder as the other held onto one of his, pulling it away from your waist. “I don’t think it’s funny. I think it’s cute.”

Hyunjae blinked before clearing his throat and turning away. But then, without a warning, you began to lead him through the basic slow dance. He slowly looked back at you in surprise.

“We can simply sway side to side,” you explained gently. Then, you eyed where his hand was still holding onto his waist. “And don’t let go.”

Hyunjae was silent before he adjusted his hand to yours, intertwining your fingers. Then, he whispered quietly, “I was never planning to.”

You laughed bashfully. There was no music–just the shuffle of your clothes and the distant ruffle of nearby flowers and bushes. But you could hear it in your ears, feel it in your fingertips, see it through your eyes, the fondness and admiration that you both began to share.

Hyunjae was still a bit awkward with dancing. Sometimes, he would stumble or tighten his hold on your waist. Every so often, he would whisper a small apology.

You hummed fondly and shifted just a bit closer. He inhaled quietly and stared down at you with fluttering eyes. But despite his distractions, he slowly became more and more confident in slow dancing with you, even pulling you closer so that you could rest your cheek on his chest.

Except there was something else you could hear. The loud beating of his heart. It was fast and it was almost pounding. You smiled softly.

“You’re quite handsome when you’re like this, Hyunjae.” You pulled away to look up at him. He bit back a smile and shook his head.

“And if I may tell the truth…” His voice lowered as if he truly only wanted you to hear what he was about to say. “You look truly stunning right now, Your Highness.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. He smiled smugly. And then, like a perfect harmony, the two of you started laughing at the same time. The sparkles in his eyes and his bright smile perfectly mirrored. And you were sure that the pounding of his heart did as well.

Suddenly though, you were interrupted by your own yawn. His gaze looked you over in slight concern. “Would you like to stop now?” He looked up and out to the evening sky, littered with faint stars.

“Mhm,” you sighed, glancing down. “These shoes are not comfortable for dancing. They hurt.” Slowly, as if you didn’t want to let go–you truly didn’t–you stepped away from him. Your waist still felt warm with his touch and your hand tingly from his palm.

Then, he leaned down to look you in the eye. “Would you like me to carry you?”

Almost instantly, your mind flashed to an image in your mind. You quickly shook it away with a growing blush on your cheeks.

“No! I’m fine,” you blurted out, making your way back to the door. You could already feel his teasing smile and so, despite your uncomfortable shoes, you began to run down the hallway. But yet again, he was your bodyguard. He would always be following you.

“The offer’s still on the table,” he called out.

“No!”

–

You shifted nervously as you stood in front of your bedroom door. You played nervously with your hair as you glanced down at your formal wear. You never expected to be so anxious for a ball until you were dressed up in something so sparkly and stunning that you began to doubt if you even worth wearing such a thing.

With a shaky sigh, your hand hovered over the doorknob. Hyunjae would be standing outside and you didn’t know what to think. All that really was on your mind were the possibilities. Would he smile at the sight of you? Would he look you over? Would he… say something?

But when you opened to the door, you faced an empty hallway. It was bustling downstairs with everyone preparing the food and drinks to be served. But upstairs, it was quiet. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion and stepped out. You glanced on either side, only for Hyunjae to be nowhere in sight.

But then, there was one other room that had its light on. The library. You slowly approached it and opened the door. There Hyunjae was–or specifically his back as he seemed to be working on something. As soon as he heard your footsteps, he hurriedly put it away and stood up quickly.

“There are you are,” you breathed in relief. “I was looking for you.” Your gaze travelled across his whole body. He looked handsome in his suit and ever so charming with his hair done up precisely–except for that one piece that stuck out, giving him a more youthful and playful look. You felt like you could just swoon at the moment.

You hadn’t even noticed his absolutely smitten look as his eyes wandered over you as well.

“Well don’t you look beautiful,” he muttered quietly, staring at you with a soft gaze.

Immediately, you were sputtering out sounds that didn’t form a single word. You tried to bring your hands up to cover your face but he took them and set them down gently. You frowned at his knowing smile.

“Why? Are you shy?”

You scoffed, trying to play it cool. It obviously wasn’t working considering how he chuckled quietly. “I miss when you hated me.”

He leaned in, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “I don’t. Because then, I’d miss seeing your smile.”

“Sh-shut up, you stupid flirt,” you whined, pulling away and making a beeline to the door.

As the two of you walked toward the ballroom, you turned to ask Hyunjae something, only to find that he was deep in thought about something. His eyebrows were furrowed and his lips pulled into a small frown.

“Is there something bothering you?”

He startled slightly and glanced at you before immediately denying, “Nothing to concern you, Your Highness.”

“Please tell me.” You smiled. “I might be able to help.”

He eyed you skeptically before letting out a defeated sigh. “It’s foolish. I think I have a crush on someone. And… I don’t know what to do about it.”

You nodded. “So it’s that type of situation… then why don’t you confess?” When he stared at you like you were crazy, you laughed, completely unfazed. “Just get it out there.”

“Easier said than done.” And you didn’t know why but the way he looked at you as he said those words was so… different. His gaze was full of longing, you realized. But why at you? “I don’t think I can do that.”

“Hmm…” You bit your lip as you pondered. “Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

He gave you a soft smile and you gasped quietly when you felt your hand being placed on his arm. He held you close to his side as you two faced the entrance to the ball. You could already hear the bustle of guests and the clink of wine glasses inside. Hyunjae turned to look at you with a reassuring smile. You would think that you didn’t need it considering you were so used to these events. But really, it was your hand on his arm that made you feel nervous.

“Ready?” He interrupted your thoughts.

The hushed whispers and interested murmurs were deafening to your ears as the doors opened. You blinked profusely as the lights came shining upon the two of you. Once your eyes adjusted, your heart raced at the faces of awe at the sight of you and Hyunjae, walking into the ballroom with your hand on his arm.

“Is that a prince?” You could hear one mutter in admiration.

“They look like the perfect couple…”

You grinned and looked up to Hyunjae. He gave you a slightly forced smile. You could tell he was nervous yet he still remained protective over you, holding you close to his side.

The two of you wandered out of the spotlight and began to join the other guests. You tried your hardest to ignore the looks of others. They were always gossiping and always had something to say. Instead, you chose to focus on Hyunjae.

Hyunjae.

You could sigh dreamily like one of those characters in the romance books you used to read. How could a bodyguard be so… prince-like?

“Your Highness?”

You shook your head out of your trance. “Hyunjae?”

“How are you doing on this beautiful night?” He smiled, bowing down politely. You burst out laughing. The two of you had been together for the past twenty minutes yet now, he decided to act like this. He tilted his head teasingly. “I saw you were a bit distracted.”

“Hm?” You grinned knowingly. “Distracted? By what?”

“Me,” he whispered into your ear.

“Really?” You stepped closer, reaching your hands to fix his collar. It was perfectly ironed already but you relished in the way his ears tinted red when your fingertips grazed his neck. Then you looked up and straight into his eyes. You could hear his breath hitch. “Is it that obvious?” You whispered, with a teasing smile.

You didn’t care if there were hundreds of guests surrounding you, possibly staring at the two of you flirting. All that you could see was Hyunjae and only him.

“It is,” he muttered, quickly regaining his composure. “But I’m no better. You distract me all the same.”

His hands were gentle as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear. His eyes wandered over your features and then down to your whole body. He didn’t say anything but through his soft gaze, you could read what his mind was thinking like a book.

Pretty.

Then he stepped away. For a moment you felt disappointed until you saw him holding a hand out for you to take.

“May I have this dance?” He bowed slightly, looking up at you with expectant eyes. It didn’t help that the one hair strand still adorably stuck out like a puppy’s hair would.

“Of course,” you giggled, taking his hand. He smiled fondly as he led you to the dance area. Seamlessly, the two of you blended in with the other couples, slow dancing with lovesick smiles.

Hyunjae held you tenderly by the waist and his hand fit with yours perfectly. Just a look at his handsome face was enough to leave you breathless. He seemed like he was incredibly skilled in holding eye contact with his soft gaze that never left yours. You on the other hand… were not faring very well.

You bit your lip, struggling to look him in the eye. Why was he making you so nervous? Why did his hand on your waist make you feel jittery? And why…

“Look at me,” he whispered, grabbing your attention.

You snapped your head up. “It’s hard to.”

He chuckled. “Isn’t slow dancing about trusting your partner? Do you not trust me?”

“I do.”

“Then look at me,” he repeated with a teasing voice. “I like when you do.”

You had to resist the urge to shut your eyes in embarrassment. You swallowed nervously. When you said you trusted him, you meant it. You allowed him to lead you throughout the ballroom—allowed him to guide you through the several people you could’ve bumped into. But instead, he kept you safe. He protected you.

“Your Highness.”

“Hm?”

He gave you a slightly embarrassed look as he glanced around. You couldn’t help but think it was cute how fast his flirty demeanor could fall. “If I may be honest, I do feel a bit out of place here.”

Your heart sank. It was understandable how he was still hesitant, especially with what he had confided in you recently. “Then please, focus on me just like you want me on you.”

His hand tightened on yours. “I already am.” He gave you an earnest smile. You smiled back.

The two of you were lost in each other’s eyes, naturally moving to the calming yet romantic music that surrounded you. Your heart beat faster than the pace of the violin but you didn’t care, knowing that Hyunjae wasn’t any different. You knew because of when you laid your head on his chest that time in the garden.

But, like a record scratch, you heard your name from behind you, spoken by a snarky voice.

“What’s their name, Y/n?” A man spoke to another. You could tell by his tone that he would have nothing good to say. “They aren’t even all that special. And they were the only reason why I came to this ball.”

Hyunjae’s face hardened as he glanced behind you, already pinpointing the two men talking about you. You stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Have you seen the way they act?” The other griped. “So… improper and nothing like a royalty.”

You gulped and looked to Hyunjae. His jaw was clenched and his hand on your waist had tightened. Though, it was never enough to hurt.

Suddenly, the music was too loud. Your feet hurt and the chatter of others was painfully blaring. But most of all, it was the two men’s voices that scratched your eardrums the most. You two were still dancing but it had slowed down.

“I’d still take them out on a date,” The other laughed mockingly. “But only to inherit their fortune.” And god, how their cackles stung your very soul.

You gasped and furrowed your eyebrows. Hyunjae kept you from ever facing them, always switching the direction so your back was turned. But he was mad, you could tell–furious to be exact. Then, he looked down at you and his gaze softened at your hurt expression.

And like something snapped in him, he let go of your waist and pulled you around so that you were right behind him. “Stay here with me,” he whispered. He shielded you protectively as he walked over to the two men, standing near the drink bar, swirling their glasses obnoxiously with their even more irritating smiles.

“Hyunjae–”

“We can hear your loud voices from here,” Hyunjae spoke condescendingly. “I hope that you’re aware of that.” The two men jumped and stared at him. You couldn’t help but marvel over how Hyunjae so easily towered over them. One of them was already cowering, backing away while the other huffed stubbornly.

“And who might you be?” The man gave him a twisted smile.

You peeked out from Hyunjae’s side and answered for him, “My bodyguard.”

And that seemed to be what did it for the man. His eyes widened and his voice stuttered. “Y-your Highness! What a pleasant surprise!” He laughed nervously, glancing around with fear.

Hyunjae tilted his head and he stepped forward, further towering over him. His broad shoulders loomed like a shadow that was awfully intimidating yet… attra–

“Say anything about them again and I will personally do anything to ruin your life,” he muttered with a low voice. Your heart skipped a beat as you tightened your hand on his.

“What can you do?” The man lifted his head high which frankly, didn’t do much. You could tell by how his hands shook that he was terrified. “I’m a prince. And you’re just a lowly bodyguard.”

You winced and tried to pull Hyunjae away. You didn’t want him to get hurt again, not after you promised him that he would be treated right. But instead, Hyunjae stayed where he was as his jaw clenched.

“A bodyguard whose job is to protect them. Something that you clearly cannot do,” Hyunjae replied, looking over the prince with an unimpressed look. “So, I don’t see the problem here.” That was when he turned around and led you away. Or, at least tried to, until the man called out again with a loud voice.

“You’re protecting someone who barely acts like a proper royal member,” he growled. “Y/n doesn’t deserve–”

You felt your hand being let go, causing you to gasp and whip around. Soon enough, you were met with the sight of Hyunjae, his hands grasped around his collar, so tight that his knuckles were white. The man now was clearly full of fear, his eyes pleading as he tried to scramble away. But Hyunjae didn’t let go, instead tightening his hold with a threatening look. It was subtle–his eyes darkened and jaw tight.

Everyone was looking now, murmurs and shocked gasps filling the room. You stumbled forward but were stopped by one of the staff members holding you back to keep you safe. You watched as other guards came rushing forward to break everything up. The prince’s collar was crumpled and he could barely speak out of sheer terror. Hyunjae on the other hand, was standing there with clenched fists. Then, immediately he looked to you to make sure you were okay.

You quickly escaped the staff member’s hold and approached him. Gently, you took his wrist because you could tell he still wanted to punch the prince square in the face. Then you pulled him close so that you could whisper into his ear.

“Do you want to get out of here?”

“But–”

You smiled, slightly amused. “It’s okay.”

He froze and his tense muscles softened as soon as his eyes took in your smile. He quietly nodded.

“Come on,” you laughed fondly, pulling him along and out of the ballroom. The two of you ran down the same path to the garden with your hand wrapped around his wrist the whole time.

You led him to sit on a 1bench, a beautiful spot surrounded by gorgeous flowers lit by the nearby lamps. The night sky was scattered with twinkling stars and it was a calming quiet. Immediately, you took his hand and opened it.

“Look,” you whispered with a worried expression. You frowned, taking in the gash on the palm of his hand where the sharp button of the prince’s outfit had cut him. “You got hurt. You shouldn’t have done that for me.”

You reached under the bench and pulled out a first-aid kit, typically for the gardeners who got cut from rose thorns and such. You quickly cleaned the wound and began to wrap the cut with a rolled bandage.

All the while, Hyunjae was staring at you with a straight mouth but with a soft, loving gaze. Then, he huffed and gave you an adorably angry frown as he rolled his eyes. You could tell he was still being protective.

“I couldn’t ignore it. He hurt you.”

You laughed warmly, as you secured the bandage around his hand, patting it lightly. You looked up, only to inhale sharply at the way he was staring at you so intently–so… passionately.

“I’ve…” You gulped, trying to find your voice again. “I’ve heard far worse. But thank you, Hyunjae.”

He smiled. If he was handsome in the ballroom, he was even more handsome now. The dim light perfectly emphasized his features and his hair no longer was in that perfect updo. It was messy yet it fit him perfectly.

“But seriously!” You whined, slightly startling him. “Why did you protect me like that?”

He narrowed his eyes. “It’s my job. I’m a bodyguard.”

“Hm,” you thought for a moment, looking up to the stars that so beautifully mirrored the sparkles in Hyunjae’s eyes that only seemed to appear when he was looking at you. “I thought that meant physically. Not standing up for me. You know I can handle myself right?”

Hyunjae looked down at his lap.

“Just… let me take care and protect you.”

You stared at him blankly. Your lack of response caused him to look up at you nervously and regretfully as if he was scared you would realize something. And then it hit you. What you said earlier…

“Then until you’re ready to tell them, continue to take care and protect them in the meantime.”

You straightened and you could feel your heart seize. “The person you were talking about. It’s me, right?”

He choked. “I–”

Immediately, you were giving him a teasing look as you scooted over to lean into his side. “There’s no use in hiding it now,” you sang.

He stared at you with adorably wide eyes before he let out a defeated sigh. “Fine, yes. I may have a crush on you.”

You slapped your hand over your mouth exaggeratedly as if you hadn’t already figured it out before. “For how long?” You cut yourself off with a gasp. “Don’t tell me… you were mean to me to actually hide your feelings?”

“No, no, I did actually hate you.”

“Oh.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he blushed. “I didn’t mean for it to come out that way.”

You giggled. Oh, how you loved teasing him. “It’s okay. I get it.”

“But I saw how kind you were and… I realized you were different.” He gave you a fond look. “And Your Highness, you are so beautiful. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever gotten to know.”

Your cheeks were warm, even under the cool night air. You leaned into his side, staring up at him with a stupidly giddy smile.

“And my dear Hyunjae,” you spoke, your voice teasing yet sincere either way. “You have won over my heart.”

“Really?” You could see that he was truly relieved, even past his smug smile.

“Mhm,” You hummed. “Really.” And then you leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. He stared at you with wide eyes before practically melting and smiling like he had truly fallen for you. And it seemed, based on what he said, he did.

Then, he straightened and reached into his pocket. “I have something for you.” He pulled out a crocheted flower. It was a rose. A few of the stitches were messed up but it was beautiful anyway.

Your eyebrows raised. “For me? You… made this?”

He cleared his throat, trying to look nonchalant and tough. “I tried.”

Instantly, you were smiling so wide your face hurt. You twirled the rose around, admiring the effort he made. “This is so cute!” Your eyes softened. “Thank you.”

He stared at you, still slightly dazed by your kiss on the cheek. “You’re welcome.”

You paused and then gave him a sly look–one that sent him looking away nervously. “You know I could just kiss you right now.”

He watched quietly as you set the rose gently down on the bench and turned to him. You noticed how his eyes struggled to stay on the upper side of your face. Rather, they kept wandering down to your lips.

“On the cheek?” His voice was so quiet that you had to lean in close to hear him which in turn, made him blush furiously.

You shook your head, peering up at him with doe-like eyes that made him swallow thickly. “No. On the lips.”

He inhaled sharply and tried to act normal but he was nothing like it. Rather, it seemed like he was losing it, his eyes darting across your features with a look of want and infatuation. “I… I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”

“Really?” You grinned.

He nodded and as if he couldn’t get any more endearing, he shut his eyes and leaned forward. His lips slightly pouted as he waited expectantly for you to press yours on his. But instead, you giggled, your breath fanning over his lips, causing him to blink.

He immediately was filled with embarrassment as he cleared his throat, almost choked, and tried to hide his face somehow.

“Why didn’t you…”

“Because first, you have to do something for me.” You scrunched your nose, poking his cheek.

It seemed that he had momentarily forgotten that he was a bodyguard who served under you. He immediately straightened and gave you a stern look that seemed to be on the verge of melting if you ever so smiled. “What is it, Your Highness?”

You suppressed a laugh. Then, you placed a finger under his chin, lifting it up.

“You need to call me by my real name first. Not Your Highness. My name.”

“That’s a bit unprofessional,” he replied hesitantly.

You raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that what we have is at all professional?”

He chuckled and quickly, the tables turned as he set your hand down and instead wrapped a hand around your waist. He pulled you close, earning him a surprised gasp.

“Truly professional, Y/n,” he whispered, glancing down to where you were almost sitting in his lap.

You were so focused on his gentle hold on you that you almost missed the name that had left his lips. You brightened and stared up at him with wide eyes. “Hyunjae,” you breathed. “Say it again.”

“Y/n.” He leaned closer, cupping a hand around the side of your face.

“Again,” you whispered, your heart pounding.

“Y/n.”

You were silent and he stared at you as if waiting for a cue. And finally, you whispered once again, his name.

“Hyunjae.”

And just like that, you felt two hands cup your face this time and a pair of lips being pressed to yours. The sheer passion he put into that first kiss sent you reeling and your balance completely off if it wasn’t for the hand around your back that steadied you. His other hand wrapped around your legs, pulling them over his lap so that he could hold and kiss you like it was his sole duty.

You didn’t know what to do with your hands for a while until you ultimately wrapped them around his neck and tangled them into his hair. You could feel him breathily laugh against your lips and if you peeked an eye open, you would see him smiling dearly.

So he wasn’t just a good bodyguard but a good–no–great kisser too?

And to make you even more flustered, he pressed another kiss to your forehead before he pulled away.

Dumbly, all you could say was another weak, “Hyunjae.”

“Y/n?” He offered you a knowing smile as he noticed the way your breath hitched at your name being spoken from his lips. You could tell he was proud of his effect on you.

“Hyunjae, I hate you.” You feebly tried to slap him but he caught your hand with ease, instead intertwining your fingers with his.

“I hate you too, gorgeous.” Then, he led you up to stand with him. Yet another thing you hated: how he made your legs horribly weak. Your ears tuned into the music that leaked from the ballroom and it seemed that Hyunjae could hear it too. Then, he began to slow dance with you, much to your surprise. “I believe our little dance was interrupted before.”

“Yeah, because you did something stupid.”

He tried to protest but when you gave him a warning look, he sighed and nodded. “Fine, I’m sorry for worrying you.”

You humphed. “That’s what I thought.” Before you could add anything else, he quickly leaned in to press another kiss on your lips.

“For safe measure.”

“Safe measure for what?”

“To make sure that I was right that you taste sweet.”

You groaned and hid your face in his chest. But of course, he played along and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Are you free tomorrow?”

You snorted, pulling away to look up at him. “Hey, you already know my schedule. And you’re following me around anyway.”

“Exactly.” He gave you a soft smile. “So let’s go on a proper date.”

Your eyes sparkled before you closed them and leaned your cheek back on his chest. His heart thumped in rhythm with yours. It thumped in perfect harmony with the rustle of the nearby flowers. It thumped with something akin to warmth.

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