#like i literally am not kidding. what am i even supposed to do with all this. hope? no i won't hope
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aftercare - c.s.
pairing: fwb!chris sturniolo x reader
summary: you teach your fuck buddy, chris, how to care for you after he rails you
cw: mentions of sex and bodily fluids (mdni), aftercare, pet names (baby, pretty girl, etc.), educational maybe?, fluff
word count: ~1.2k
you and chris had been "together" for a while. when you broke up with your ex 6 months ago, you missed his dick more than anything. fortunately, your friend, chris, offered up just what you needed. you two weren't technically dating, but everyone knew you were fucking each other and only each other. chris was great in bed, he knew exactly what to do to make your back arch and your fists grab the sheets. however, he didn't have nearly as much experience as you do. his lack of experience didn't seem to affect his performance much, but his aftercare skills were shit. and today was no different.
"fuck, you did so good for me baby," chris says in between heavy breaths. he slowly lowers himself to lay next to you as he gently brushes your hair off of your face, both of you sticky from a combination of bodily fluids.
all you could release was a soft hum in response as the blood pumping through your ears began to quiet. you attempt to open your eyes only for the exhaustion to drag your lids back down.
chris laughs, "damn, it was that good?" you could practically hear the smirk in his voice before he let out a soft laugh.
"i'll give you a minute to recover, pretty girl." he presses a soft kiss to your forehead before moving to check his phone on the night stand. after seeing his notifications, he begins rambling on about something sports-related, but you were still much too fucked out to comprehend any spoken language. once your senses returned to normal, your eyes fluttered open and you slowly turned towards chris, cringing as your lower body vibrated from even the small movement.
"guess what time it is," he grins laying against the pillow while facing you.
"what time is it, chris?" you ask trying to mask the discomfort.
"it's… CUDDLE TIME!" he yells suddenly before throwing himself on top of you, forcing you to lay on your back, and engulfing you in his arms.
you groan and attempt to push him off quickly receiving a pout in response.
"heyyy, what's wrong? why won't you cuddle with me?"
"dude… i literally have your cum dripping down my ass crack right now," you roll your eyes.
"oh," he pauses. "um. do you want me to get you a towel or something for that?"
"uh, yeah, that'd be nice," you say passive aggressively.
he doesn't respond as he quickly shuffles to the bathroom to grab a towel.
"do you want a big one or a small one?" he yells from the bathroom.
you sigh. "either is fine," you grumble just loud enough for him to hear.
he returns with a small towel.
"what's wrong baby?" he says as he climbs onto the bed putting the towel next to you.
"have you ever heard of aftercare?" you ask using the towel to soak up as much of the leaking fluid as you could, grimacing at the friction on the sensitive area.
“aftercare? like when a parent forgets to pick their kid up from school?" he jokes.
"no, chris… like for after sex," you state bluntly.
"no? am I supposed to know what it is?"
"do you wanna keep fucking me?"
he looks at you with surprised eyes not expecting that kind of question.
"of course I do, I mean─fuck─look at you," he gently slides his hand up your side as his eyes follow, taking in each inch of your skin on the way up.
"well, if you wanna keep fucking me, you need to learn how to take care of me after. you can't just fuck me the way that you do and expect me not to be in pain afterwards…"
"wait, you're in pain?" he furrows his brows in concern. "why didn't you tell me, angel? i can be more gentle whe-"
"no! fuck, no. i love the way you fuck me. please, don't be gentle. that's not what i want"
"so what d-"
"christopher, you can't learn if you don't let me talk."
"oh right, sorry, i'm listening," his expression turns serious suddenly.
"aw, what a good boy," you smirk teasing him.
"yeah, yeah, yeah, let's get on with this so I can keep fuckin' you, pretty girl."
"my pleasure," you grin. "first, you're usually pretty good with this one, but after you practically abuse me with your dick, i need you to tell me how good i was for you. because it's a lot of work taking you like i do, and i deserve the praise."
"you do deserve it princess. i can─no, i do do that. easy. next," he responds confidently.
"next, the towel. non-negotiable, and honestly, put it down before we even start 'cause once you pull out, sometimes even before that, it all just…"
"yeah, yeah, makes sense. i definitely should've thought about it when i was washing the sheets every single time we fucked," he admits sheepishly.
you laugh, "yeah, maybe."
"what else can I do for you, baby?" he cups your face with one of his warm hands, softly gliding his thumb across your cheekbone.
"now… i'm gonna need some help getting to the bathroom, 'cause i don't think i can even stand up on my own right now," you laugh softly, thinking about the less-than-natural positions chris had just put you in.
He laughs, smirking. "i really fucked you good today, huh?"
"just shut up and help me up."
“yes ma'am," he salutes jokingly before standing up and reaching his hands out to lift you out of bed and to the bathroom.
"you didn't have to carry me," you tell him.
"i know, but i like carrying you," he admits as he gently places you on your feet in the bathroom. once you're standing with the support of the counter, chris can't help but look you up and down.
"are you just gonna watch me piss or can i get a second by myself?" you tease him.
"oh shit, right, sorry. i'll be- um, i'll be out here," he says clearly flustered by your comment while backing out of the bathroom and closing the door.
You laugh, shaking your head.
After finishing in the restroom, you call chris's name softly.
"yes, baby?"
"can you help me get back to the room?" you giggle at your own sad state knowing it was partially your fault for begging chris to go harder.
he opens the door, quickly scooping you up and carrying back to the room.
"so, when do we get to cuddle?" he asks laying you down on the bed,
you roll your eyes playfully at him. "now, we can cuddle now, chris."
"fuck, finally, i've been waiting years to hold you," he exaggerates as he lays next to you, pulling your frame against his chest.
"chris, it was like 10 minutes."
"yeah, and I was going through withdrawal."
"you're so dramatic."
he nuzzles his head into your neck, releasing a content sigh. "you trust me to take care of you now? i can keep fucking you? please say yes."
You laugh. "yes, you can keep fucking me, on one condition."
"anything for you. what is it?"
"you promise to always cuddle me after."
"i promise to always cuddle you, whether we fucked or not."
a/n: love y/all and thanks for all the support! enjoy :)
🏷️ taglist: @y3sterdaysproblem @sofia-is-a-sturniolo-triplet-fan
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cake divider by @dollywons, apple divider by @ithemes, and heart divider by @cafekitsune
#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo#the drawing board 𓂃🖊#chris sturiolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo x reader#mdni#comfort#dividers not mine
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Alright if Wukong's meet (not yet married or dating yet) fem!y/n that act and has powers of the Sun from Solarballs?
I AM HELIOS!!! RA!!! APOLLO THE INTI!!! YOU DARE MOCK MY NAME ARES?!?!- Sun
(Lmk Wukong) He met you a long time ago back when he was supposed guarding the peaches, but instead found himself listening to your jokes. Wukong and you bonded over your Chaos and Hilarity of the situations you'll find yourselves in, until one day you both were chatting when some Guards made fun of him. Wukong could literally see how red you became as you look at them, Clearly a switch was flipped in your head as you yelled....
(Y/N) YOU DARE MOCK OUR TITLES LITTLE ANTS LEAVE!!!!!!😡
Wukong sat their with a huge blush as you shot solor flares out of your mouth at the traumatized guards. He's now trying to think of a safe way to ask you out.
(MKR Wukong) Ohhhhhhhh god he had no idea who's he f*cking with, but it's gonna be Hilarious when he does😈🤣 You both meet during the journey to the west in a village. Though Immediately they knew something was wrong because of how nervous everybody was around you, even fruity felt how fake the laughter was as you told joke. Wukong was already fed up with your bullcrap. You know what Wukong does.........he calls you unfunny and clingy to your obviously forced Audience. Everyone froze.....as you turned redder and redder in your fury.
(Y/n) I......Am.....WHAT?!??!?!?😠
(Wukong) Yes you are clingy forcing everyone to listen you your crappy jokes...😈
(Y/n)...Did...you just call me CLINGY!!?!??!?!😡
That was the final start, and you grew into a red giant monkey looking down at Wukong with Psychotic fury
(Y/n) I AM HELIOS, RA, APOLLO, THE INTI!!!!! YOU DARE MOCK MY NAME AND TITLE MONKEY?!?!?!? REPENT YOU MOTHERF*****🤬
And you then shot a solorflare at him not hitting him but Definitely very close to his head..........................leave it to you to not only make him almost sh*t himself but also receive a raging boner😳
(NR Wukong) Oh man If it wasn't for his immortality he would be dead by now. Like seriously he's the only one I know with a deathwish and kinda aware of it! He was just loving listening to you talk and tell him jokes he genuinely laughed at, and over time you both got close to each other until one night you were at a club. Somebody was stupid enough to heckle you at your jokes, and Wukong and you became annoyed with him but you kelp going entertaining Wukong. Until the same person got a few people to rally and heckle you, Wukong was beyond fed up and that's when you shot a shot flare near the guy making him shat himself and a few others in terror. Wukong knew you were the one for him immediately, his one and only star, as he watches you rampage all over the bar with your solorflares. You beautiful psychotic laugh is Music to his ears🥰.
(HIB Wukong) Interesting enough you meet Luier and silly girl first, asking if they want to hear a joke.
(Sun Y/n) Hey kids do you know why I'm always signing autographs???😁
(Luier & Silly Girl) ???? Why???😮
(Sun Y/n) BECAUSE IM A STAR HAHAHAHA🤣
Silly girl would giggle at everything, but Luier was slow to understand your jokes. On a brighter note (get it brighter?😉😆) The three of you became fast friends and the two children would come by to hang with you. Unfortunately that's when papa sun finds out about your get togethers. Wukong of course immediately starts assuming things but then everyone Except for Wukong noticed how you seem to be getting redder and redder as you stood with a forced smile. Then suddenly you looked like you were gonna sneeze, and Luier immediately knew what that mention and yelled to warn his dad. Too late though you shot a solorflare right in Wukong's face leaving burn fur and sunburn, you frantically apologize to him as You and the children put burnt cream on him. Meanwhile Wukong was making plans involving baby solar cubs😏
(Netflix Wukong) Just great two megalomaniacs🙄 except One has no idea what the other is capable of😧. Now, of course, Wukong would stupidly provoke you. The only one great around here is him, so you should back off and take your corny puns with you. That's when he learns how dangerous you truly are, Wukong had gone off to fight demons without you and now you were super worried about him demanding him to either return home or let you fight along side him.
(Wukong) look I appreciate your concern but I really don't need....😒
Then Wukong watched you shoot a solor flare at an oncoming enemy completely turning them into ash.
(Wukong)(blushing)...........well what are we waiting for😳😳😳
(BMW Wukong) (evil laugh) heheheheheheheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😈😈😈😈😈 Ohhhhhhhhh, Sun Wukong will meet his terrifying match, and it's gonna be sooo hot(Get it HOT🤣). When you first met, he thought you were this goofy monkey woman telling terrible puns. Not to mention you would hang off of him the most, getting annoyed with you on that matter and telling you off about being clingy that quickly backfired. You stared at that monkey glaring into his soul, as your face and body became so red and hot you burned a hole in the ground
(Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhh what's the matter??? Gonna cry and yell???😏
Then all of a sudden you Unleashed a solor flare right into Wukong's face in a fit of rage, when you were done he stood their Charcoal but his tail formed into a heart.....Suddenly You became way more attractive than before.
(Destined one) He immediately thinks something is up with you, nobody is this friendly and happy despite your Excruciating puns. You always greet thr Destined one with a smile and laugh as you tell another sun pun to him. Now why does he feel that way you ask???? wellll it all began when he met you and came across your territory home. The Destined one felt like he was being watched and felt like he should keep his guard up. He was right to do so to.....
(Sun Y/n) WHO DARES APPROACH MY RO LIMIT WHO?!?!?!
You booming voice had the Destined one's soul shake all over his body...he looked at you a giant red female monkey in fear and.......arousel?????
(Sun Y/n) CELESTIAL BODIES WHO IGNORE THE IMPORTANCE OF THE RO LIMIT, HAVE NO CARE FOR THEIR EXISTENCE!!!
The Destined one looked up at you, as you shot solor flares out your mouth so you have to deal with lousy celestials too, now your weirdly hot😳
FEEL FREE TO REBLOG☀️
#monkey king reborn#monkey king netflix#monkey king x reader#nezha reborn#lmk monkey king#monkey king hero is back#x female y/n#black myth wukong#the destined one x reader#solarballs#Solarballs sun
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reading the notes makes me feel like im missing something about the plucky pennywhistle thing. like people are tagging it "me when i lie" "man i wish dean would tell the truth about his childhood" like. did he lie in the episode? im not saying he didnt i just. am confused. (also unless we are shown what happened, accusing dean or sam of lying about their childhood is presumption, because sam might've perceived it as "trolling for chicks" but maybe dean was hustling pool.
to be clear i do think dean was blowing off steam and flirting with girls because he was a teenager and probably was exhausted about being forced to parent his brother, but the fandom wiki could've also been remembering the fact that there's a mother in the episode who is dumping her kid at plucky's so she can work enough hours, and dean starts defending the mom, so the wiki author misremembered it as "he was working and told sam he was flirting" . reporting that as fact is Not a good idea for a fandom wiki but there's a weird obsession that sam and dean are ontologically liars or truth tellers when sam and dean lie all the time and might be reporting memories inaccurately, but they usually don't when it comes to their childhood.
like "dean did his best to parent sam despite being ill-equipped and a child" and "sam felt very lonely despite dean's persistent presence in his life and dean felt hurt when he found this out, despite this not being either of their faults" can both be true!
like sam literally lies In That Conversation because he doesn't wanna talk about plucky's! he literally says "no i don't remember it". and this is hilarious of him. he's trying to rewrite his own memory in real time i think.
Dean doesn’t seem to quite remember Plucky’s at first.
Likely because Dean really doesn’t remember, he also really doesn’t take offense to Sam’s version of events or argue with him at all? He accepts Sam’s version (that he hated Plucky’s) as soon as Sam says so.
Yeah, when Sam complains that Dean abandoned him there to troll for chicks, Dean says,
“It's not like I left you in jail. I mean, those places are supposed to be fun.”
But that isn’t a denial of how Sam actually felt about the place. It’s a (light-heartedly stated) defense of Dean’s own reasons for leaving him there. He thought it would be fun! If that wasn’t true, surely Dean would have left Sam at the motel and saved himself the time and cash, no? I think the fact that Dean thinks Sam liked it means Dean probably wasn’t paying attention to him at the time, caught up with his own stuff, but I don’t think it makes sense to assume anything other than that, and I think Dean is perfectly willing to accept that he wasn’t really paying attention to what Sam wanted.
Sam’s tone and the content of his complaints when telling Dean how he really felt about Plucky’s also isn’t exactly serious. He reports that Plucky’s was “lame”, “smelled like puke”, and served grainy ice cream. He’s not exactly bringing the real tragedy to the surface here (the kid at Plucky’s with the overworked mom is much more effective at exhibiting the misery of being trapped in a children’s arcade).
The thing is, Dean really isn’t defensive about any of this? He actually just thinks it’s funny. Laughing over the phone with Sam, he says, “What in the world did they do to you?” It’s honestly kind of refreshing that Dean really doesn’t beat himself up about it. Even in the end of the episode when Dean apologizes for ditching Sam, he’s laughing (and then pranks Sam with a clown doll). Maybe that’s what sets them off? That Dean doesn’t “care” enough? Unfortunately for them, Dean was also a child who deserved his own space and was not Sam’s dad.
Totally agree with you that there’s an underlying little narrative here about overworked parents and that a wiki shouldn’t make inferences. And also about Sam and Dean’s differing versions of childhood often making sense from their own perspectives. They can both be right about their own perception.
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One of my first experiences, upon no longer being in Israel and returning to my regular job as a teacher, is a student leaving a note in my classroom that says "Ms. --- is a Jew. No Jews. Hitler to come back." So you know. Really wish I was still in Israel or at least wasn't the only Jewish person at the school (teacher or student). By the way, I teach 6th grade...
#jumblr#jewish#israel#antisemitism#am yisrael chai#i told the vp#and she was like what would you like us to do#and im like i dont even know#also the kid didnt leave their name#and apparently im supposed to do the handwriting investigation to try to figure out which of 100 sixth graders it could be#this is not the first time a student has done something or said something antisemitic#its literally not even the worst thing a student has done thats antisemitic#maybe more of you should know this happens#all the time#any basically nothing happens as a result except that people like me just have to deal with it
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I get hating certain political systems and trying to abolish totalitarian regimes but at the same time many of them are so interwoven with our history and society they have become tropes and when I consume media with a setting where the monarchy is absolute and revered then I am playing my part and sucking that princeling off
#litchi.txt#there are games that address this kinda stuff! and thats good! its good that there are games talking about how this is bad!#but at the same time when I go into a game knowing I will be the prince's sword and shield I dont expect the game to be anti-monarchy#despite having pretty strong opinions on many a thing I tend to put most of them away the moment I engage with media#imperialism bad. monarchy bad. doesnt mean I cant enjoy roleplaying in a game where I help these systems#because guess what its fictional and not everything needs to be a strong statement about politics#sometimes we just... wanna vibe with a setting#I am so very thoroughly exhausted from the politics in this country and where things are going I just kinda need that no brainer gameplay#even if it means working as the secret police for an emperor#even if it means replacing one dictator with another#because its still a game#a lot of people talk about imperialism-monarchy-colonialism with these things because they are a big issue even today#and they are important to talk about!! in real world!!#but I rarely see people be this upset about like religion etc which like. thats also a massive problem.#idk Im just tired of trying to look at fanart of all my fantasy medieval games and people being upset that the games#are not super anti-monarchy despite the marketing being literally 'you are the emperor's bestie. you help him out and go on a quest.'#'your quest is to manipulate local government to support the emperor and do his bidding'#like idk how That is supposed to be a game that addresses it properly#and maybe it does but ig since the MC doesnt look at the player and go REMEMBER KIDS! THIS IS EVIL AND BAD AND WHY MONARCHY SUCKS#it doesnt count??? I guess???
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I've realized that the problem with fursonas is that trying to engage with the concept feels exactly the same as when I was a little kid trying to have an imaginary friend; it sounds like fun, it looks like the other kids are enjoying it, it lowkey feels like something I, personally, should have, but whenever I try it just feels forced and fake and like I don't know how to do it, or that I'm doing it Wrong
#'there is no right way to do it!' opposite of helpful actually#I appreciate the sentiment but it just makes me uneasy :')#is a sona meant to be an avatar of my actual self or an OC I project onto and/ or allow to be my representative or??#'oh it can be any or all of those things or something else' okay BYE that's too broad for me dhksfksldjk I am UNEASY#I AM DAUNTED BY THE COMPLEXITIES AND UNKNOWNS#just feels fake when I do it. I dunno.#sometimes I think 'I should make a [fursona/gnomesona] just as an easily simplified standin for silly doodles'#and even THAT I so badly overthink that I get stressed out and can't do it even though I know what the intended usecase is ahdjflshsks#.... there's also a...... fear of 'portraying myself wrong' here I think.#okay if it's supposed to just Be Me then how much am I Allowed to deviate in character design#(and how much would I even want to before it feels like that's not me anymore)#DUMB. STUPID. HOW COME THE OTHER KIDS CAN DO IT#I have a good imagination in general but I ALSO... am very detail oriented and literal-minded I fear :')#me@ my brain cmon play in the space.... you love playing in a space.......#about me
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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pop stars aren't born in the 70s anymore like they used to be. These days they're born in a year uncomfortably close to my own which makes me clutch my chest and cry out
#music#musicians#Nia Archives was on radio the other day going 'my album's the first jungle album to be nominated for the Mercury Prize in over 25 years#that's such an honour! The last one was Roni Size and I wasn't even born then' --hang on a minute#that album was like. 1997. 'I wasn't even born yet'?#Folks she is a year older than me 😭(❤️ but also personally 😒)#Cat Burns' Mercury shortlisted album is called 'early twenties'. It is a term I am told I can no longer use for myself.#She says 'the album was a 4-year long process. I started writing it when I was 20.' Cat Burns is my age.#CMAT. Dublin's 'global superstar'. 1997. Literally she's such a classic popstar/country star I'd have expected to read like '1987' or somet#not in terms of saying she's old or anything; just that that seems appropriate for someone who's in control of their career#CMAT is like 2 years older than I am. It's so wild to me#especially this time! There have been a lot of debut albums you see#and I'm really proud of all these--I suppose at my age I'm allowed to say--kids; my peers? But it's also so strange to see#My peers are at the Mercuries. Declan McKenna is like a year older than me#That has been in my head ever since Brazil came out. He was 15. I was 14.#sigh it's a long road to either acceptance or such radical change that I 'catch up' with everyone; whatever that means#yes I'm well aware that comparison isn't a thing to do. I know it's not productive.#I try not to let it get me anxious; afterall what do I do about it?#It's not like I've got the ball rolling on anything significant to speak of. I'm just at ordinary work#idk also the industry I work in doesn't exist anymore hahahaaaa so yeah. No career. Only far away admirations! :)#We will have no infrastructure and we will be happy.#Don't read all this; just laugh at the meme about age and move on#growing up
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another day another "applying the concept 'disposability' to 'someone withdraws from a personal relationship, & that wasn't signed off on by the other'" kill me
#literal acknowledged interpersonal abuse Needing to be ''mediated'' (implicit premise of preserving that relationship >>>)#and if the victim doesn't participate they're treating their abusive partner / abusive relationship as ''disposable''#like in what meaningful way. getting away from an abuser is ''disposing'' of them like imprisonment / killing From A State?#dropping an abusive relationship is ''disposing'' of it? like uh yeah i sure hope it is#this is always Vaguely Applied to ''ppl don't want to HANDLE CONFLICTS or DO THE WORK'' & then connected to political actions#like well someone's just a bad person In The World / All Things if they stopped being my friend and i don't know why#like of course that Can Be good faith. it's a personal business#but if someone ghosts you and you truly don't know why Yeah maybe there's something going on but like okay let them go#if they want to do that for reasons you don't think are Compelling or they just aren't interested / putting in that Effort then like#what Friendship is really being lost here. but then tweet about it with no context & a zillion ppl like SO TRUE kys randos#[fart reverb Conflict Is Not Abuse] standard abuse apologetics which are easy & a zillion ppl go SO TRUE b/c It's Abuse Culture#someone HAS to Answer My Texts / Calls / In Person Confrontations As A Bold Clearsighted Political Actor are you kidding#someone really doesn't. even if you Really are like ''and i'm not even consciously malicious'' what a high bar#one gazillion abusive parents will tell you And My Estranged Child Won't Even Tell Me Why / Doesn't Have Any Good Reasons / Won't Talk....#what am i supposed to doooo i'm at a losssss And Really I'm The Victim#''i want to break up'' / ''okay i don't :) let's talk through Your Feelings :) [waffle around until insisting on Same Access To Person]''#someone can rescind interpersonal access to themself For Any / No Reason. on a dime no explanation necessary. for god's sake#and friendship is not actually some magically pure & Neutral relationship either. same things#anyway just unfollowed some rando for their thread spinning off a vague qrt ''ppl are so AFRAID OF CONFRONTATION they unfriend u''#going on & on abt how You Need To Put In The Work & Effort & You're Just Probably A Bad Person Otherwise & Disposability like#the disposability is my three points wastebasket toss. death via the state =/= someone won't talk to you. can we be at all serious#every day i reach out further like aplatonic people [some emblem gesture] lovelessness [same] help me#thinking of a Good Tweet i saw abt framing everything re: interactions with others around Consideration first & foremost#wildly enough the way you treat people doesn't need to have Fundamental Assumptions re: like ah Friendship / Community / Love / Family &ccc#how do you treat a stranger. how do you treat someone who you don't personally like &/or vice versa. how do you treat ppl you don't Meet.#it's all so vague it could mean Anything but a) often hints towards [abuse victims are framed as Bad Political Actors]#& b) then that's what people read into & respond to for sure lol#as ever ''oh everyone's just little bitches who can't handle any discomfort. yes; this was prompted by my being discomfited''#wait yeah lol i did not Confront this stranger to try to Posit this to them in twttr's character limit; just unfollowed. disposability smh
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The never-ending circles of hell I'm stuck in:
Toga's deal is that self repression is bad -> Uraraka's repression of romantic love is actually beneficial to her -> Where Will This Subplot Lead To? -> ??? -> repeat
this is a mainstream action shounen manga, "control your heart" and everything else that Bakugou and Midoriya have going on can't possibly be gay Fr -> But Why Did He Lie? -> ??? -> repeat
Admiration, imitation and love go hand in hand -> Toga confronted Midoriya about romantic love. Why the hell did he reply with an example of platonic love -> self repression? -> ??? -> repeat
Uraraka's writing suffers from Love Interest in a Shounen Manga disease, with everything that comes with it -> the romance subplot between Midoriya and her has never actually gone anywhere, she thinks her feelings for him are a distraction and he has never shown interest in her as a person outside of thinking she was cute when they met -> I trust Horikoshi with every other subplot but I have no idea what to think of this or of what he'll make of this -> if Uraraka will get the wife with kids ending I will end it all. I don't think the situation is that dire but I literally don't know what to think at this point -> ??? -> repeat
Toga loves Midoriya, was outright rejected and told she's wrong for how she is -> Toga loves Uraraka, was rejected and told she's wrong for how she is but their conversion was a mess of incomprehension and misunderstandings -> Uraraka now knows what she actually meant -> how will she get to her and save her? -> Again this is a mainstream action shounen manga, Toga may be canonically bi or whatever other label you want to use but what she feels for Uraraka can't possibly be directly addressed Fr like her love for Midoriya was, and Uraraka can't possibly even begin to reciprocate her feelings -> ??? -> repeat
#like i literally am not kidding. what am i even supposed to do with all this. hope? no i won't hope#but at the same time. ???. ??????????????#mytext#animanga#bnha#togachako#bakudeku
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having a "former gifted kid" type mental spiral
#i say this because the spiral is actually about how much i hate the word and the general culture around giftedness#mostly because its incredibly inconsistent between schools so people often mean different things when they say it#but also because in my specific case its certainly not a gift but like. what am i supposed to call it.#its literally a neurodivergence in my case that has had many effect postive and negative on my life. but its also a school club.#and its also nothing! before the advent of like modern standardized public education i wouldve just been a curious kid#Without modern public education im not sure i wouldve even been different from other kids. maybe a little socially awkward still but idk#and like. Am i really different from other kids? am I now as an adult different from my peers? Occasionally i will get told as such#how the fuck am i suppose to talk about how much being seperated from my peers and held to higher standards sucked#when the name of the reason why this happened might as well be 'gods specialist little boy'#none of the things that make people think im smarter are really all that useful day to day. and most non-gifted people are like. still smar#i happen to be good at memorizing the kind of facts schools test you on as children#but is that just because i was told as a kid to be good at school and so i tried hard to do that?#even if I am uniquely good at that#does that really make me more intelligent than the high school dropouts who can fix cars like its nothing?#in fact i would say they are at least wiser than me for picking something practical to be smart at#at my school being gifted usually implied you were a little neurodivergent and bad at socializing#often our gifted kids were actually failing classes because they were smart enough to realize they didnt matter#(not me but still)#but at some schools being gifted just means you were an avid reader or were pressured by your parents to maintain perfect As at all times#so if i say. wanted to talk about how being 'gifted' has often made some aspects of academia like hating emails and having time blindness#and not having a good friend network and having many unadressed issues around not really knowing how to make friends#if i wanted to talk about that. and i say 'I was gifted growing up and this sucked'#the person on the other end might hear 'oh woe is me im so smart and this makes my life so hard'#AND FURTHER STILL#on tumblr especially 'former gifted kid' has kindve become parlance for 'guy whining about nothing'#or even 'person who they were told was smart but is actually kinda dumb'#which... yeah! theres a reason many former gifted kids are like that! thats kindve my issue with the program in the first place!#it takes otherwise relatively normal if well achieving kids and tells them they are gods specialist little children.#THIS CANNOT BE HELPFUL TO ANYONE? like whatever chance the kids had at seeming normal has been stripped away#and they now also think they are the smartest person in the room in every situation
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ok sorry if this sounds fucking insane. i need to write something out.
#vent. sort of.#okay. why do i have absolutely no clue what i want or like. like in life. career/job/college/life etc wise. no interests beyond casual.#and amateur level interests. which is fine but i don’t think i want them to go higher and therefore aren’t careers you know. i like them#for fun. but like all my friends have interests and things they’re studying or doing that i hear it and i’m like oh my god yeah that’s them#that’s perfect. that’s so them. of course. makes perfect sense. and they have the history of hobbies and interest in the topic to back that#choice up. but me? man i have fucking nothing. i feel like i have been in survival mode forever and i literally have not had the opportunit#or ability to develop myself and my interests or even my fucking STYLE or ANYTHING!!! it seems worthless FOR ME. WHY????????#that’s the survival mode talking. but like what am i supposed to do now. i feel like a fucking shell of a person. like the only thing that#passes through this brain is whatever my current hyperfixation is and whatever new hell/trauma/issue i’m dealing with in my life. that’s it#man i remember being a kid and having vibrancy and passion and interests. and it just left. maybe it left when my brother was born when i#was 10. maybe it left during any one of the traumautic experiences or abuse during my teenage years.#but then i wonder what my friends see. like do i have interests and likes in their eyes? i mean space has been My Thing to my friends for#years now but even my interest and love for that was a coping mechanism (escapism) and i’m not interested in the science beyond what i can#use to cope and mentally escape or use in my head as hope for escape.#MAN i feel like i’m so fucked. like i don’t know what the fuck to do. i don’t want to do anything. maybe i’m depressed?#i mean i know i do and have dealt with depression but i mean maybe that’s what this is from.#maybe i’m autistic? maybe adhd and maybe that’s why i have whims and phases that never stick? i don’t know.#maybe it’s from the dysphoria? maybe it’s like bc i can’t picture a future for myself bc of that? probably not cuz i have trans friends who#do indeed have solid interests and senses of self.#so. i don’t fucking know.#i don’t fucking know. i don’t know what to do. i feel like i’m falling behind and like i’ll never get out and i’ll never get my head into#my own real life and the present in order to figure out who i am and what i like and want. i’ve got NOTHING. HEAD. EMPTY. WHAT THE FUCK.#what the fuck. what do people do when they run up against this problem. i don’t know.#maybe this rn is just because i’m on my period. i don’t know. fuck.#maybe it’s dissociation. or like FROM my lifelong dissociation issues. hmm.#okay but THEN i’m like okay this is a really privileged problem to have like. i have a choice in what i want to do. which is nice. and i am#not even being rushed by my family. so like. then i feel even worse for feeling this way. fuck. maybe it’s fine maybe it’s all fine.#maybe this just happens sometimes and a person has no interests and it’s fine. i don’t fucking know. doesn’t seem to be that way for most#people but maybe. who knows#vent
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I think That Woman is genuinely trying to kill me
#you know what she said to me today?#'well. since you suck at writing essays and I'm sure you don't want to write a test. how about a creative assignment?#remember that project idea you suggested? do that. right now. sit and rewrite a chapter of War and Peace in your reimagining'#and like... first of all. bold of you to assume I remember any particular chapter well enough to rewrite it#even all separate events mashed together. because that's what happens when YOU MAKE ME READ 1200 PAGES IN THE SPAN OF THREE WEEKS#but okay. fine. I was allowed to look up references. maybe any other person could have managed something#but second of all. my only reference for the vibe I'm supposed to be going for is ONE BOOK THAT I READ TWO DAYS AGO#PLUS I HAVE ZERO KNOWLEDGE OF THE ACTUAL HISTORICAL EVENTS BECAUSE WE SKIPPED OVER IT IN CLASS#AND THIRD OF ALL. THE WORST THING. IS THAT I CAN'T JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE#NOT WITHOUT PREPARATION. NOT WITHOUT AT LEAST A VAGUE IDEA OF WHAT I'M GOING FOR#AND NO. 'IMAGINE NATASHA ROSTOVA AS A KOMSOMOLKA' ISN'T AN IDEA. IT'S SOMETHING I COULD DRAW WITH REFERENCE PICTURES#BUT NOT WRITE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KIDS DID IN THE KOMSOMOL. THE VLKSM WAS DISBANDED BEFORE MY MOM COULD BE A PART OF IT#and I know it's stupid. I know I shouldn't be upset over not being able to do something I wasn't prepared for#and it's fine!! I was allowed to take it home!! I can come up with something in the privacy of my apartment#where That Woman won't be hanging over me. judging my every move#it's fine. it's literally fine#I know it is. so why am I so damn upset??#I guess.. failing at writing has become such a huge trigger for me that even when it comes to tasks absolutely nobody–#could manage without prior preparation... I just break down if I fail#it took everything in me not to break down crying in front of her. even though I really really wanted to#because first of all I do not trust her at all and don't want to be vulnerable in front of her#and second of all. how could I possibly explain 'oh yeah failing at writing makes me extremely suicidal bc I'm fucked in the head'#'and yet I won't quit because I'm s fucking masochist who likes being miserable apparently'#and I was doing so well writing wise before this... NSND is almost 16k words long and I didn't have a fit over it once#I managed over 8000 words over the weekend translating Tomorrow was the War and actually ENJOYED doing it#I don't enjoy writing. it was.. almost thrilling. to like the process#now I don't want to do anything at all#what's the point if I can't even handle a simple school assignment?#it's not her fault I'm a fucking crybaby who can't indulge in a hobby without becoming hysterical#I should've quit writing after AIDIB like I wanted to. maybe then none of this would've happened. maybe then I wouldn't feel like such a POS
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every time i have a pe lesson i lose a tiny bit of my will to live
heads up i kinda started venting in the tags so if you dont want to put up with that just scroll <333
#ev yaps#vent incoming#sorry#none of the school subject slander is true btw other subjects r still very slay!!!#i fucking suck at pe#idk why but i physically cannot be good at sport#the one exeption being figure skating at which i am still kinda shit idk id never be anything close to professional#anyway to my peers its pretty much the only subject that matters#good at science? psycho (like nobody likes science but even so were all supposed to be decent at it)#maths? ok thats like the bare minimum also like nobody cares#english? ok cool#music? unless its singing or a rare-ish instrument nobody will actually give a shit#ok you get the picture#except art ig#but im not the best at it so it doesnt matter#OH NOT TO MENTION THE FUCKING 'IF YOU CANT KICK A BALL YOU'RE FAT' JOKES ISTGGGG EUGHH LIKE STOP THAT AINT COOL#im atheist but like damn god really didn't want me to amount to anything#like no joke i have literally no talent except for yapping#im just the loud kid with the weird sense of humour#that will end up working a shit boring ass job fr the rest of his life#or maybe i'll just work in an h&m until i fucking die#because being a screenwriter/ just working in film production is unrealistic#and i cant really write but its one of my best skills#i dont really know what else i can do with my life#and everyone is probably judging me#everything i say and do.#idk maybe im overthinking all of this and im fine. maybe all my problems and their impacts are being made up by some twisted corner of#my brain for attention#anyway sorry about that#back to our usual program
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juno | l.hc
“one of me is cute, but two though…?”
💿now playing: juno by sabrina carpenter
❯ summary: Kids were never really something you thought about. But then you saw your sexy as fuck boyfriend playing uncle and now you can't stop thinking about giving him a baby of his own. What can you say...your hormones are high.
❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader
❯ genre: smut, established relationship
❯ words: 2.7k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, unprotected sex (don't do this!), swearing, breeding and pregnancy kink, possessiveness, dirty talk, begging, praise, creampie, slight angst not really idk, fluff, reader uses she/her pronouns, literally just the reader getting baby fever from seeing hyuck with kids (very real el oh el.)
an: i know this is like my third haechan post in a week, but i literally don’t care. sue me x
You didn’t want kids. Well, that’s not true. You were indifferent to kids.
That was until you saw your boyfriend with them. You didn’t think you could be more attracted to him, but then he had to go and check off the "great with kids" box. Maybe it’s just his playful side, but Lee Donghyuck is just so good with them.
And being forced to attend his niece’s first birthday party made you realise it. Honestly, you’d never given much thought to the idea of kids—cute yes, ready to give up endless nights of sleep, no.
But the minute after you walked through his childhood family home and were done greeting his parents and siblings, a swarm of kids ran at him, hugging his legs and stomach. And he just melted into them, so gentle and excited. It was cute and made you smile.
From then it was him letting his oldest niece cover his tanned cheeks in blush and stickers, to tossing a ball with his nephew after he announced he made the basketball team—and don’t even get started on him poking the chubby cheeks of his youngest niece, her soft giggles filling the backyard of the party.
It was like he was in his element—soft, loving, and completely at ease. And even though his nieces and nephews had other uncles and aunts, they’d always say Uncle Hyuck was their favourite—even if they weren’t supposed to.
You watch him from the patio door in the kitchen, overhearing him tell his dad he’s “too young to be having the adult conversations,” which was really code for ‘let me play with the kids.’
Running around, telling jokes, creating games. It had your stomach turning and—were your heart strings being pulled? Seeing this absolute perfect man, so caring and playful, living just to make those little ones laugh and smile, had you seriously considering the sleepless nights that might come with having some of your own.
Wait.
“He’s good with them, huh?”
You jolt, turning to see Hyuck’s sister standing behind you.
“Uh... yeah, I guess so,” you shrug. She steps beside you, and the two of you stand there, watching your boyfriend bounce his niece in his arms, soothing her gently.
She giggles, and you glance over at Hyuck’s sister again. “What?”
“Nothing,” she shrugs. “Just... you’re looking at him like you’re ready to add to the Lee family name.”
You gasp. “I am not!”
She gives you a knowing look, and you bite your lip, eyes shifting back to Hyuck. This time, he’s handing his niece a sippy cup, tapping her nose. Your chest tightens.
“Okay... I suppose he is good with them.”
Hyuck’s sister nods, humming in agreement. “He always has been. With every younger sibling, every cousin—even when I had my first daughter, Hyuck was the most excited.”
He’s sitting on the grass now, all his nieces and nephews swarming him, tickling him. He’s being extra dramatic, letting the younger ones tug at his hair just to make them laugh. You stare, warmth and wholesomeness filling you.
“He’d make a great dad, Y/N.”
The statement is completely sobering.
“Uh,” you stammer, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”
That’s not entirely true. You had spoken about it—once. You’d told him it wasn’t something you had planned for but weren’t necessarily opposed to, and the conversation had never come up again.
Hyuck’s sister blinks at you, clearly confused. “That’s crazy. Hyuck’s always said he wants to be a dad.”
Clearly.
There’s no denying that. It’s so obvious—every second he’s cupping up the kids, tickling them, teasing them. He looks so profoundly happy, so perfect. And it suddenly clicks for you.
This could be yours. Forever. He wants it. And now... you’re starting to think you want it, too. Him, this, forever. His kids. Your kids.
“Y/N! Y/N!” one of the younger kids calls, waving you over from across the backyard. “Can you play with us? We need more people to play the monsters. Uncle Hyuckie can’t do it on his own.”
And just like that, you’re being pulled away from the baby fever conversation and coaxed into joining them—not that it took much convincing. Your thoughts were starting to scare you a little. You’d never seriously thought about kids—until now.
Because you’d never seen Hyuck look more attractive than when he was playing dad.
“I can’t believe she’s one already,” Hyuck beams from where he’s stretched out on your bed. He’s been talking about the party nonstop since you got home. “Did you see the little bows in her hair? So fucking cute.”
You glance at him through the vanity mirror where you’re sitting, watching the way his face lights up, animated and so full of joy. There’s a warmth in your eyes, your lips curved into a soft smile as you take him in. He notices, raising an eyebrow.
“What’s that look for?”
You stand and walk over to him, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. His eyebrows knit together, more confused now.
“Y/N, what’s going on?”
You smile, sidestepping his question with one of your own. “Did you have fun today?”
“Yess…?” he replies, but there’s a trace of suspicion in his voice.
“Your family’s really nice.”
“Oh, are they now?” He squints playfully. “I saw you talking to my sister. I hope she wasn’t embarrassing me—she loves doing that.”
You shake your head with a giggle. “She wasn’t.”
“Okay…” he draws out. “Then what was she saying?”
“That you’d be a good dad. That you want to be a dad.”
Hyuck’s eyes widen and you mentally add this moment to the short list of times your boyfriend has been rendered completely speechless—still countable on one hand.
He coughs, his cheeks turning pink. “S-She said that?”
You nod, biting your lip to keep from laughing.
“And…what did you say back?”
You spread his legs out on the bed so you can slide between them, sitting there and looking up at him as he waits, eager for your response. He’s so cute like this—adorable, even—clearly dying to hear what you thought.
“I didn’t respond,” you admit honestly.
You catch the flicker of hurt in his eyes, but he covers it with a laugh—though it’s not genuine. You can tell he’s trying to brush it off, trying to pretend that he’d be okay with the possibility that you might not want that kind of future with him.
“She shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I used to talk about it a lot as a kid. I don’t really think like that now. I can’t, you know… because of my job.”
“So you don’t want kids because of your job?” You ask. The tone in your voice takes him by surprise because now you’re the one sounding hurt.
“Baby... is this a trick question?” He laughs nervously.
You shake your head, crossing your arms across your chest. “No Hyuck. But I want you to answer it truthfully.”
He shrugs, looking unsure. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”
“You’re lying.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say—”
“The truth,” you insist.
He pauses, his gaze softening. “I love you, Y/N. You said kids weren’t really part of your plan, and that’s okay,” he begins, his voice steady but sincere. “And yeah, maybe I always kind of thought kids would be in mine, but then I met you. And you became my plan.”
You grab a hold of his hand and squeeze. It draws a genuine smile from him before he speaks again.
“I know we’ve never talked about it since. But I’m fine with anything—as long as it’s with you.”
You smile, his comment pulling at your heartstrings because you feel the exact same way.
“Those kids absolutely adore you, Hyuck,” you say and he gives a half smile.
“Well, I am their favourite Uncle.”
You trail a soft finger up and down the naked skin of his arm. His eyes follow your touch and that furrowed expression is on his face again.
“Y/N what’s going on with you? You’re confusing me—”
“You know—” you cut him off. “I think you’d be a great dad.”
He stares at you, properly taking you in. He’s never seen this side of you before, and you’ve never given him a compliment quite like that before. The thought of you being into the idea of him as a dad… well, he didn’t expect it to turn him on this much. Maybe it’s the way your fingers brush his arm? Yeah no, it’s not.
“Today made me realise something,” you say, shifting to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck now. He raises a curious brow, waiting. “You look so hot with kids. The thought of you being a dad is so fucking hot, Hyuck.”
Hyuck smiles at the confession, and his hands move to grip your ass as he ground your hips forward on himself. You let out a small gasp of surprise as you feel him.
“Please don’t joke like that, Y/N,” he whines, eyes squeezing shut. “Because I’ve been thinking about you being the mother of my kids since the day I met you.”
You giggle, biting your lip to stifle the soft moans escaping you as he grinds you slowly against his growing bulge.
“Well, why don’t you do something about it then,” you tease breathlessly, feeling the hardness of him through his sweatpants.
Hyuck’s mouth parts, caught somewhere between awe and shock, but before he can question how serious you are, your lips capture his, and your tongue is slipping inside his mouth to deepen the kiss.
The groan you both share is synchronised, and it’s all the encouragement he needs to flip you over, hovering above you with a renewed sense of urgency to make promise of your teasing.
His fingers hook into your panties, sliding them off as you shift upward against your pillows, tossing your nightgown aside. Hyuck strips out of his own clothes, desperate to press his bare skin against yours, his need overwhelming any sense of patience.
He kisses you back roughly, passionately. Fuelled by your impossible hotness and readiness to be fucked—fucked by him. Your tongue dips deeper and deeper into his mouth, never satisfied, craving more of him. You cling to him, your hands and legs moving over his skin, desperate to feel every inch. Your hips roll up, slickness coating his shaft, causing a rippling gasp to leave his mouth.
Hyuck pulls back with dark eyes. You—his girl—naked and desperate under him, begging him to do something about his baby fever—your baby fever. It’s the hottest shit he’s ever seen. His new favourite thing. His obsession. He loves seeing you like this, he decides—so willing, so desperate for him, for his cock. Needing him to bring you the pleasure only he can give. And he’ll make sure you remember that once you're carrying his child.
The image floods his mind—your stomach growing, swelling with his baby, the glow in your smile as you hold his child. A family, all with him. Only him. Because you want his kids.
The last thought pushes him over the edge, and with a low growl, he bites down on your neck, lips and teeth claiming your skin. He wants you marked by him—like always—but this time it’s different. It’s possessive. Primal. Feral. His saliva wet on your neck, dark bruises blooming over your breasts, his fingers burning prints into your hips, and his seed buried deep inside your soaking wet cunt.
His cock jumps when you roll your hips again, your whimpers causing him to groan and eyes roll back. You sound so desperate. Desperate to make him your forever.
“Hyuck—” you sob as his teeth graze your nipple, sending it hardening under his touch. “Please, I need to feel you.”
His eyes sparkle with lust as he drapes your legs over his waist and leans down, capturing your mouth in a long, needy kiss. He aligns himself with your slick pussy, your fingers clawing at his back as he slowly eases into you. He fills you completely, lifting your hips to bury himself deeper.
“So fucking pretty like this,” he mumbles, pulling away to admire the way you take his thick cock. “Taking me so well, always so good for me, aren’t you, baby?”
You moan as his cock hits every spot inside you—so deep, so hard, so good. Each thrust drags along your walls in a way that feels divine.
“Can’t wait until you’re mine, so full of me,” he whispers, kissing your neck. You whimper, your walls clenching at his words, urging him to quicken his pace. “Do you want that, baby? Want my cum inside this pretty pussy?”
“Yes—fuck yes—please.”
“Say it for me,” he requests softly, a gentle yet desperate edge in his voice. “Please tell me.”
“I want to be yours; make me yours,” you breathe out.
Hyuck's gaze drops to your lips, entranced by the words spilling from them. He thrusts harder, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer. Your cunt swallows his cock whole, turning his thrusts sloppy, and he groans.
You’re practically sobbing with how fast he’s driving into you, so close to seeing stars.
“You’re so good at taking me,” he praises, his breath ragged. “Gonna make me fill you.”
You squeeze around him, and the thought of cumming inside you sends a shiver through his thighs, making his breathing stutter.
“Yes! Fuck, please keep going,” You pant.
“Want you so full of me that it’s dripping down your leg. And then I’ll push it back in when I fuck you again.”
Your breaths grow louder and quicker, matching his as you both teeter on the edge. He kisses you deeply, your mouths suffocating each other as you grip his soft brown hair. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you tight.
“Hyuck—I’m gonna cum.”
“So fucking good, baby,” he moans in awe. “I’m going to fill you with my cum. I want you overflowing with my seed—fuck!” He grunts hoarsely, his body tightening with tension.
Your walls shatter around him, tightening and fluttering on his cock as you cum. Hyuck holds you close, so intimately, holding himself deep inside you as he feels the first spurts of his cum shooting from his cock.
He doesn’t stop, his hips still moving gently, making sure you take everything, softening each thrust with tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You sigh dreamily, fingers threading through his hair, and he smiles, still half-hard inside you. You’re exhausted, and the sight of your sleepy expression makes his heart twist. Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, and for a moment, you stay like that—so close, so intimate.
But as the post-orgasm bliss begins to fade, a flicker of panic flashes in his eyes.
“Fuck—” he mutters, pulling himself off of you quickly. There’s a gnawing feeling in his chest, a sudden guilt. “Y/N, I’m really sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Do you want me to run to the store—”
“No.” You shake your head and grab his arm, keeping him close. “I don’t want you to. If that’s okay…”
His eyes darken with lust before a slow smile spreads across his face.
“Y-yeah… that’s more than okay with me,” he says, nodding eagerly.
“Who knows?” You shrug with a teasing grin. “I might not even get pregnant this time.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “This time?”
You nod confidently. “Yeah, this time. Because we’re going to keep doing this until I am pregnant, Hyuck.”
His grin widens as he climbs back into bed, pulling you into his arms.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that, especially not when I woke up this morning,” he laughs, pressing soft kisses along your neck.
You giggle, leaning into his touch. “What can I say? Seeing you in dad mode made me so fucking horny.”
#nct smut#haechan smut#nct 127 smut#nct dream smut#nct x reader#nct 127 x reader#haechan x reader#nct dream x reader#nct hard hours#kpop smut#kpop x reader#nct oneshot#nct scenarios
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I'm just going to post the summary vent as I write things out
#I was a child She was an adult yet it's my fault for not coming to her when she wanted to spend time with me#lying about the fact that you wanted me and saying that my dad didn't#when he didn't want kids and didn't know if I belong to him? and also believed I would be better with anyone else#I'm sorry am I supposed to feel love towards you?#apologizing that you don't do hugs??? when I literally told you I didn't like hugs and you told me to get the fuck over it#also what the fuck have you ever done for me#her apology includes “You see a lot of things the wrong way”#at that point just flat out go I'm sorry it's your fault#“once you think something there's no changing how you think”#funny you can't give me a reason you hate your sister other than the fact that she's out to get you and always has been#She also has never forgiven anyone for anything#also I'm very open about the fact that I'm not very forgiving after a certain point at all#I literally sat down and told my parents to their face that their children do not have to respect them#And yet it's a fucking surprise that after being neglected I don't respect her?#also we have tried to explaining things to her and she'll agree that it makes sense and then circle back to her original argument#also it sounds like she thinks I'm upset about something about separating from my dad that she didn't really do#like we are way past the point of me caring about how sick you are from your meds#that is not even relevant#like oh you weren't around You don't know#I don't fucking care#we were complaining about her not having a job because she was living on her own could have a job and wanted us to support her entirely#and was also still having my dad support her until he killed himself#You could have had a job 19 years before that and refused because then you couldn't complain#And then to end it with I want things to be better between us#I told you months ago I don't want a relationship with you#I understand that you went back on all your words#I didn't#I meant what I fucking said
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