#and was also still having my dad support her until he killed himself

[shannonsketches]

lays on the floor do you guys ever think about how in ResF Bulma falls for Vegeta's fake-out with Freeza and both she and Yamcha are worried about Vegeta's villain fake-out strategy in Champa and Beerus' mini tournament and how it's only been a couple of years since the Buu saga and how Vegeta straight up stopped using that strategy after that tournament

[trippinsorrows]

with me + part seven

authors note: i take some creative liberties with medical (mostly hipaa) stuff in this one, so please disregard. also, thank you everyone for (still!!!) being so interested in this story. you guys are making me wanna flesh it out even more like seriously 😭 i wanted to not make it past 10 (3 to 4 initially) parts but the support has been so humbling, and ya'll seem to like/want more sooooo 😭

song inspo: with me by destiny's child

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: angst, language, suggestive themes

words: 7k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @southerngirl41 @yolobloggers @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

Absolutely every rule of the road is broken in getting Callie to the hospital.

You couldn’t give two shits. 

You just continue to try to reassure your crying child that she's going to be okay while fighting your own pending panic attack.

Speeding through the lanes, uncaring if the light is yellow and you should slow down, you’ll take whatever ticket. The only rule you abide by is not going through a red light, understanding how stupid and dangerous that is. However, while the hospital is about a 15 to 20 minute drive from you, you make it there in a solid eight minutes.

And even that is too much.

The emergency room is, expectedly, pretty empty save a couple of people. Emergencies are rare and infrequent in your town. It’s truly a stroke of bad, cruel luck that your sweet little girl is victim to one of the few. 

Rushing to the front desk, Callie cradled against you, you blurt to the receptionist, “something’s wrong with her stomach.”

The woman appears uninterested until her eyes land on Calista who’s still crying into your chest, hand on her stomach. She calls out to the back, and you see the double doors open. A few minutes later, if that, a set of doctor and nurses emerge. 

“What happened?” The doctor immediately asks, starting to assess Callie, first checking for a fever and then shining a light in both her eyes. 

Speaking is suddenly difficult, but you manage, “I–I don’t know. She said her stomach was hurting right before she went to bed, so I gave her some Children’s Tylenol, then she woke up in the middle of the night screaming in pain, and I–I rushed her over here.”

He nods, gently going to press on her stomach as she shouts in pain again. Your own stomach clenches, hating to see her hurt like this. 

Something appears to flash in his vision, but whatever it is, he keeps it to himself. “We need to admit her.” He reaches for Callie who suddenly clings tighter to you.

“No!” There’s pure fear and panic in her voice, as she starts to cry harder. “I wanna stay with my mommy!” 

Her words kill you, because you also don’t want to let her go, but you know it’s what needs to happen. “Baby, it’s okay, they’re gonna help you, and I’m right here, alright?” You try to reassure her, gently stroking her hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

She’s clearly still uncomfortable but allows the doctor to carry her, as he instructs one of the nurses, “page peds.” Her eyes never leave you as he moves quickly to carry her into one of the rooms, carefully placing her down on the bed. You’re immediately by her side, needing her to know you’re right here with her and not going anywhere. 

While the doctor gives a variety of commands to some of the nurses, you somehow have the wherewithal to catch the attention of one of the nurses, informing, “her dad is on his way. Can you make sure they let him back? His name is Joe.”

She nods. “Of course.” 

“And—” this is both relevant and irrelevant, but as it’s at the forefront of your mind, so you tell her, “I also need a release form. For him. He’s….he’s not on the birth certificate.”

If she’s judging you for this piece of information, you’ll never know because her expression remains unchanged. “I’ll have one brought to you.”

“Thank you.” It hasn’t really crossed your mind until this terrifying moment that Joe has no legal right or say into any medical or legal situations regarding Calista. This scares you in a different way, her own father having no say in decisions that could be life or death. It’s shoved into the back of your mind, but when this is all said and done, you know this it’s something you need to discuss with him. 

You need to look into whatever the state requires to have a father’s name added to a birth certificate. But, of course, all of this is secondary to what’s happening before you, your focus returning to Callie who’s still holding onto your arm. 

“Alright, what do we have here?” 

A new voice enters the room, and you look up, momentarily surprised to see another doctor, but it’s not the fact that it’s a doctor that surprises you. It’s who the doctor is. 

You give him a double take, almost not trusting your judgment in this moment. But when he approaches Callie’s side and offers a gentle smile, you see it, the cleft in his chin. 

“Kai?” 

He lifts his eyes to you, offering a small nod, returning his focus to assessing Callie. And then he looks up again. Like he gave you the standard acknowledgement only to also realize who you are.

“Y/N?”

Yup. Hearing his voice again, you’re certain this is most definitely Kai Sawyer. 

Kai Sawyer, former classmate, once friend, brief lover when you were in high school. He was always sweet, almost too sweet for the toxic teenager you were who was too stuck on Amir to realize Kai was a much better option. 

Granted, it was never serious. You never had any sort of feelings for him that left you stumped.

Nothing like with Joe. 

“It’s good to see you.” He seems just as surprised to see you as you are to see him. The last you heard was that he left for school, pursuing a medical career and planned to move out of state. Kai motions to Callie. “This is your daughter?” Nodding with a small, forced smile, you watch him carefully lean down to be closer to Callie’s eye level. “Hi there, sweetie. I’m Dr. Sawyer. Can you tell me your name?”

She sniffles, seemingly holding you tighter. “Callie.”

“Callie,” he says, precisely, pronouncing each syllable. “What a very pretty name. Well, Callie, is it okay if I feel your belly so we can see what’s going on and help you feel better?”

She doesn’t look at you for approval, instead nodding as Kai starts to evaluate her. Once again, she cries out in pain as he feels the same area you’d unintentionally put too much pressure on. 

“It hurts,” she whimpers, and you kiss her forehead. Seeing her in pain is a form of torture you absolutely cannot tolerate. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” he apologies, standing upright again. “We’re gonna make you all better though, okay?” 

She says nothing, instead tugging you closer to her as she lays her head against your shoulder.

Kai speaks to the nurses in a low voice, where you can only make out intermittent parts. Something about an IV drip and pain meds. Once he’s done, he looks over at you and continues with that low voice, “can I talk to you outside?”

His question doesn’t help with the anxiety you’re already having an extremely difficult time controlling, but Callie’s heightened cries and tightened grasp on you captures your attention the most.

“No, mommy, don’t leave me!" 

It’s an impossible decision, even if logically, you know what you have to do. Whatever Kai wants to discuss with you clearly doesn’t need to be in front of Callie, but you also know she’s hurting and just wants her mom. 

“You said your name is Callie? That’s such a cute name.” One of the nurses comes over and offers a warm smile. “I have a little girl who’s just about your age too. She likes barbies and playing dress up. What do you like?”

Sniffling, still holding onto you, Callie meets the nurse’s eye contact and answers after a second. “Disney.”

The nurse gasps, “so does my little girl.” She sits on the side of the bed as the other nurse finishes inserting Callie’s IV. “Is it okay if I sit with you and we talk about Disney while mama talks to Dr. Sawyer?”

You’re so thankful for this act of kindness and assure Callie, “I’ll be right back. I’m just outside the door, okay?”

She’s still unsure and highly uncomfortable, but a small nod precedes her releasing her grip on you. You start to climb out of the hospital bed when she grabs you again. 

You expect another form of protest, of unease about you leaving her. Instead, in a small, innocent voice, she states, “I want Joe.”

The ball in the back of your throat grows exponentially. You’re already emotional, for obvious reasons, but there’s something about her request, so simple yet so powerfully telling, that brings a new set of tears to your eyes. 

“He’s on his way, baby, okay?” As the hospital is in the same direction as his hotel, you expect his arrival in a matter of minutes, hopefully. 

She seems comforted by this piece of information, and you’re able to break away to follow Kai outside the room. Once out of a proximity where she could overhear, you ask, urgently, “what’s wrong with her?”

Kai sighs, crossing his arms over his body with a sympathetic expression. “Well, I—”

The sound of heavy, urgent footsteps capture your attention, and you look to your side to see a nurse escorting Joe. His eyes land on you with a curious expression before he asks, “where is she?”

His voice is calm, but you know him well. Too well. Enough to know that he’s worried out of his mind, too. 

You gesture to the door a few inches away from you. “With the nurse.” Gesturing to Kai, you inform, “this is the doctor.”

There’s something about Joe’s presence that instantly calms you, allows your emotions to regulate just a little better. 

“Holy shit,” Kai breathes, and you look over to see he’s staring at Joe with bewilderment. “You’re–uh—is this her dad?” The question is posed to you, and you run your hand over your face, nodding. Kai clearly recognizes Joe, err, Roman, and is in a brief state of celebrity panic. Any other time, you’d understand it, but right now, you’re on the doorsteps of a nervous breakdown, and the medical professional in charge of Callie’s care being starstruck isn’t the least bit helpful.

“Yes,” Joe answers, his voice not unkind but not friendly either. “What’s wrong with my daughter?”

Kai clears his throat, snapping back into his professional shoes. “It seems like early stages of appendicitis. We call it acute appendicitis, meaning her appendix hasn’t ruptured yet, which is good.” He gazes at you, grateful. “You got her here just in time.”

His words do little to comfort you, because you’re still stuck on the first part. 

“Appendicitis?” You repeat, confused . “But–but she’s only four. How—”

“It’s not as uncommon in children as people think. Did you by any chance have one when you were younger?”

You have to think for a second, recognition then dawning. You’d completely forgotten about that borderline traumatic experience that was eerily similar to this. Waking your mom up because you were in a tremendous amount of pain and her calling 911 to rush you to the hospital. God, how could you not remember that until now? “Yes, yes, but I was—I was like 10.”

“So still a kid,” he confirms. Kai turns to Joe. “What about dad?”

“Yeah, I was twelve.” 

“Wait a minute.” You don’t know about Joe, but you certainly remember the outcome of your experience. “You—you don’t have to operate on her, right?” Scoffing, your words become difficult to express. “Kai, she’s—she’s too little for that. There’s—there’s another way, right?”

“Surgery is the best treatment—”

“No!” You cut him off, not wanting to hear this shit. “You’re not cutting her open, Kai. I–I won’t—-I won’t allow it.”

Joe finally addresses you, hand on the small of your back as he tries to get you to look at him. “Y/N….”

You jerk away, “I said no!” Turning back to Kai, you plead, eyes starting to burn again, “isn’t there—isn’t there something else you can do? Like medicine or—”

“Her appendix needs to be removed, Y/N. There’s no way around that.” Kai’s tone is full-on professional, borderline pleading, needing you to actually heed to his medical opinion. “The procedure is standard, should take about an hour, and it presents minimal risk. It’s really the best and safest option. If we don’t operate, inflammation could increase and eventually cause her appendix to rupture. Once that happens, because of her age, she becomes at an increasingly high risk for infection. And that could become fatal.” 

The word fatal sounds out everything else as you fall back against the wall, covering your mouth, unable to hold back the tears. “Oh my god.”

Joe looks at Kai, directring firmly. “Do it. Do it now.”

“I’ll book an OR.” Kai nods and you hear him say something else, but it’s all so distant and blurry. Fatal and Callie should never be in the same sentence, but right now it’s a reality that you can’t fathom. Your chest hurts, your stomach hollow, and head all over the place.

“I—it’s my fault,” you murmur to yourself or maybe Joe. You’re not entirely sure. “She—she told me her stomach was upset, but I—I didn’t listen. I just—I just gave her medicine and made her go to sleep.” You inhale sharply, eyes burning with salty tears. “She was in pain, and I didn’t listen to her. I didn’t—”

“Baby, look at me.” Before you realize it, Joe is in front of you, cupping your face and forcing your blurry gaze on him. “You did nothing wrong. There was no way for you to know what was happening.”

“I’m her mother, Joe—" you protest, sniffling, hands on his chest. “I’m supposed to know when something’s wrong. I’m–I’m supposed to protect her.”

“And you did,” he assures, pushing back some of your hair. “You heard the doctor. You got her here just in time. It could have been a lot worse.” He wipes away your tears, hating to see you so upset, so hard on yourself over a situation outside of your control. “You’re an amazing mother. Do you know why she’s such a great and happy kid? Because of you. Because you take such good care of her. You’ve raised her on your own, and look at how amazing she is. That’s all you. Why else do you think she’s so attached to you? Because you’re just as much her world as she is yours.” He pulls you into his chest, continuing to gently comfort you, “she’s gonna be fine, okay?” 

Being held in that moment, being held by Joe is exactly what you need. It centers you as much as one can be centered in this kind of situation. You find yourself holding onto him, embracing the comfort and support. 

Eyes shut, you murmur into his chest, “thank you for being here.”

You feel his hand move gently down your back, his mouth pressed to the top of your head. “Always.”

After a few minutes, maybe more, maybe less, you separate and wipe at your eyes. “Okay.” It’s trying to gather yourself before going back in the room, not wanting to scare her or make anything worse for her than it already is. “We–we need to tell her.”

“You want me to tell her?” He offers, and you’re thankful. He clearly sees how upsetting all of this is and is eager to support you anyway he can.  

“No,” you finally answer. “We’ll do it together.” 

Joe takes your hand and rubs his thumb across your knuckles, a kind, comforting gesture. Appreciated. You appreciate him so fucking much in this moment that it’s almost impossible to explain. Your calm in this storm, a voice of sound reason. Much needed advocate for your daughter as you fall victim to your emotions. 

He looks at you once more, assessing your readiness. A simple nod gives him the answer he needs, as he heads for the door, holding it open so you can enter first. 

The same nurse who so kindly recognized a need lifts her head with that same warm smile. Your eyes immediately land on Calista, who looks less pale than she was when you brought her in. She’s also no longer crying. That relieves you the most. A mother seeing her child cry is a kind of pain no one should ever have to experience. 

The pain meds must be kicking in. You’re immensely grateful.

But as quick as her eyes were on you, they bounce almost instantly to Joe, a larger smile growing. 

“Joe!” Even her voice is stronger, not as weak or weighed down with pain. 

“There’s my girl,” Joe greets, instantly at her side, kissing the top of her head. “How are you feeling, sweetheart?”

“A little better, but my tummy still hurts.”

Allowing them their moment, you turn to the nurse who’s subtly backed away, also recognizing this is a moment that shouldn’t be intruded upon. She also subtly reaches you the clipboard with the ROI that you quickly fill out and hand back to her. “Thank you,” you whisper, hoping your eyes reveal just how much you appreciate her thoughtfulness.

“Of course,” she replies, giving a final look to Callie. “I’ll leave you all alone.” 

Once the door is shut and it’s just the three of you, you move to the other side of the hospital bed, seeing there’s a possible space to jump in and gently break the news to her. A shared glance with Joe followed by a nod is the answer you need as you take a deep breath.

“Calista….” As soon as she gazes at you, you recognize she knows something is up. You hardly ever use her full first name. “Baby, Joe and I talked to the doctor about what he needs to do to make you all better, and—and he said you’ve gotta have surgery to take the bad stuff out your stomach.”

Her brows cave together, confused. “What’s surgery?”

Joe jumps in, recognizing your initial difficulty with how to explain such a concept to a young child. “It’s when doctors give you medicine to make you go to sleep while they take the bad stuff out of you.”

She looks at him, a little more understanding, still obviously and understandably unsure. “Does it hurt?”

You answer, trying your best to keep your tone as calm as possible. “When you wake up, it may hurt a little but that’s cause it’s gotta heal.” 

Joe shares, and you’re so grateful for his partnership at this moment. For his ability to assist and tag team. “You wanna know something? Your mom and I had the same surgery when we were kids.”

She seems intrigued by this. “Really?” Nodding, you study her facial expressions, knowing her well enough to know that she’s struggling with her emotions. She’s not alone. 

Finally, after a minute of contemplation, she whispers, “I’m scared.” 

“It’s okay to be scared, Callie,” Joe assures. He's so damn good with her, gentle and patient. “Everyone gets scared.”

She looks over at him, asking innocently, “even you?”

“Of course,” he answers, vulnerably sharing, “I was scared when your mom called me and said she was taking you to the hospital.” The both of you were. That’s no call any parent wants to ever receive. 

She looks between the two of you. “Can you guys come with me?”

“We can’t go back with you, but we’ll be waiting right here for you as soon as you wake up.” Joe answers for you, thumb brushing over her forehead.

“You promise?”

 Lips pressed against her forehead, you vow, “we promise.”

—-------

As soon as Callie is taken back to the OR and the two of you are left alone in the waiting area, Joe begins to lift his hoodie over his head, suddenly reaching it to you. “Put this on.” 

You look at him, confused. “What?”

His eyes briefly trail your body, head to toe. “Do you realize what you're wearing?”

Brows furrowed, you look down and gasp. In the midst of adrenaline and flight or flight, your appearance never dawned on you. Your pajama set is short, skimpy, and shows off a slice of your stomach, not that you care too much about that. It’s more the fact that you’re not wearing a bra, and this waiting room is cold as fuck. 

You also realize your bonnet is still on your head. 

In short, you look a hot ass mess, more like someone waiting for admission to the psych ward instead of an anxious parent awaiting her daughter to get out of surgery. 

“Fuck.” The first thing you do is rip your bonnet off, deciding to keep your pineapple. Next is accepting Joe’s hoodie, sliding it over your frame. It’s understandably baggy, grazing just above your knees. “Thank you.” 

The two of you move over to the seating area as you sigh loudly, suddenly asking. “What time is it?”

He checks the watch on his wrist. “3:15.” 

You scoff, rubbing your eyes but not saying anything, leaning back into the seat, trying to not get too much into your head. It’s a difficult feat when your four-year-old child is under the knife for emergency surgery.

“The doctor…..” Joe starts, and you turn to look at him. “You called him by his first name.”

He doesn’t need to elaborate for you to understand his question. “We went to high school together.” If your intention was to keep your answer as casual and general as possible, you fail miserably because Joe 100% picks up on the unspoken words. 

“And?”

Shrugging, you explain, “we didn’t date per se, but we hooked up.” Looking back, you recognize how Kai was absolutely a rebound in between Amir and all his bullshit. And you do regret that, because Kai was always a genuinely nice guy. He didn't deserve to be caught up in your Joker-Harley Quinn ‘love’ story. 

“Fucking hell.” Joe looks away, genuinely annoyed, and for some reason, it makes you smile. The first of the night, err, morning. And you’re weirdly thankful for this conversation, for this distraction you wonder if he's intentionally providing you. “Do all your ex’s still live here? Why does nobody ever leave this town?”

You laugh, actually laugh, and it feels nice. A contrast from all of the heaviness you’ve experienced over the past few hours. 

Sucking your teeth, you respond, sassily. “I’m tired of you roasting my tiny little no name town.”

He eyes you curiously, clearly surprised by your reference. “You watch?”

“Occasionally,” you answer with a shrug. You don’t want to tell him you’ve found yourself increasingly watching Bloodline clips during the kids' lunchtime at school. Or at night when you don’t know what else to watch. Not when before his return, it was rare and in between you’d find yourself consuming anything WWE related, let alone with Roman Reigns. “Not a lot. Just enough to see how you’re doing exactly what I always knew you could do.” 

Joe stares, appreciatively, gently adding, “you always believed in me.” 

“Of course, I did.” It’s always been so visible and obvious. From the very beginning, you recognized his potential and knew he would excel once they finally released him from his shackles. You find yourself leaning against his body and grab onto his arm. “I could never have a bum for a baby daddy.”

You don’t have to be looking at him to know he’s rolling his eyes, that expression of his that’s a mixture of a scowl and smile. 

He doesn’t say anything after that, not immediately, and that’s okay, because just sitting here, with him, not alone and in your head is a great comfort.

“She has my last name.”

You look up at him, surprised and confused as to why he’s saying this like he didn’t already know it. But it’s in that looking at him, you see it’s because he clearly didn’t already know this.

He was unaware. 

Sitting up, you ask, “you didn't know?”

He shakes his head, explaining, “when I got here, I said I was here for Calista, and she said Calista Anoa’i.” That’s it. How he found out. How his daughter, who he hadn’t even known about up until not even two months ago, shared the same last name as him. All of these major life reveals being dropped on him like it’s nothing.

You feel terrible again, just for different reasons. 

“I never wanted to erase you from her life. I just—” It’s hard to explain something you’re starting to not even fully understand. In such a short timespan, Joe has done a tremendous job stepping into the role of dad. So much so that it has you deeply regretting depriving him of the almost first five years of her life.

Depriving yourself of having a partner to raise Callie with.

“I just went about it all wrong,” is the best you can land on to describe what you’re thinking and feeling. “And I'm sorry you found out like this. I guess, I just thought it would have come up by now.”

“It’s fine.” It’s not. He’s just trying to be mindful of where you are emotionally right now. Always considerate, despite his own feelings. 

Grabbing a hold of his arm, you lean into him again, eventually murmuring, “no, it’s not.” You’re starting to feel more and more like there was never a good enough reason to rob him of this, to have a child walking around this earth with his last name, his blood, and him be in the dark. Him being married was a factor, but it wasn’t a firm reason. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t ha—”

“Yes, I do,” you interrupt him, already knowing he’s going to try to pacify you, to try to convince you that it wasn’t that bad. Bullshit. “You missed out on so much, because of me, and I’m truly sorry, Joe. My own shit got i—”

“Excuse me?”

You sit upright, attention automatically redirected to the Caucasian woman in front of you with a bad bleach job, crows feet that probably contrast her actual age, and a clipboard. It’s the damn clipboard that kills your thought that maybe Callie is out her surgery and you guys can see her. 

Wishful thinking.

“Bill it,” is your short, curt reply as you lay back down against Joe’s arm. His eyes are on you, curious. 

The woman gives a small, fake laugh. “Excuse me?”

“You’re here to discuss insurance shit, right?” Her silence is the answer you need. “Well, I’m telling you to bill my insurance and then send me a bill.” 

She extends a more authentic smile to Joe, and you almost could swear you see the faintest hint of blush on her pale face. “Well, aren’t you three steps ahead?” When you don’t say anything, she awkwardly clears her throat and continues. “I actually wanted to know if you’d like to take advantage of this really great option we have where we give you an estimated cost and accept payment now so that—”

“Lady, my daughter is in surgery right now. I don’t give a scathing fuck about your great option. Bill it, and get the hell away from us.” Your words are blunt, coarse, and very much to the point. You couldn’t give two shits about anything she has to say if it’s not regarding Callie being out, up, and all better.

Joe chuckles above you, still saying nothing, just watching her walk away with her tail between her legs. “You had some restraint. I’m proud of you.”

“Shut up,” you mutter, eyes closing as you try to allow yourself to bask in the comfort he provides. It’s such a different experience. The last time you had to rush Callie to the ER, she was two, your mom was out of town on a women’s retreat, and Mariah was off on her honeymoon. It was just you, by yourself, waiting to find out what the hell was wrong with your toddler. 

Having someone with you in this moment, having him with you, means more to you than he could ever imagine.

“How’d you come up with her name?” He asks after a few moments of silence.

This brings a smile to your face, a genuine one that you actually feel in your body. “A book.” 

“Like a baby name book?” You should have known better. Joe is many things, a man of specificity being pretty high up there. 

You hesitate to respond. “Not exactly.”

He glances down, assessing your expression before tilting his head back. “You didn’t.”

“Hear me out.” 

“Did you seriously name our daughter after some character from one of your freaky ass sex books?” You’re grateful for the little laughter this conversation provides you, and it makes you realize how much this man must have missed you to remember that. To remember your guilty pleasure for smutty kindle books. Not so much as you’ve gotten older and just genuinely don’t have the time to read them.

Resting your chin against his massive arm, you defend, “first of all, rude. Secondly, it wasn’t even that freaky. Unfortunately.” He rolls his eyes and you continue, “the character was actually really interesting and not awful. And I’d never heard the name Calista before, so when I looked it up and saw it meant most beautiful….it just fit.” Toward the end of your pregnancy was when you fully allowed yourself to embrace being a mother, regardless of the circumstances. It was a blessing and beautiful experience, and you found yourself counting down the days until your due date. “Her middle name is Manaia.” 

He chuckles, softly. “That’s Samoan.”

Chewing on your bottom lip, you rest your cheek against him again. “I know…I told you, she’s just as much you as she is me.” 

—-------

Joe approaches the front desk, seeing a brunette woman scrolling on her phone with a bored expression. Understandable, given the room is empty sans a janitor making the rounds. It’s probably the first and last empty emergency room he’ll ever come across.

“Excuse me.”

She looks up, and her mouth parts, an instant smile growing. One he’s used to but wholeheartedly couldn’t care less about. 

“Hi.” Her tone is much more breathy than what’s necessary, some attempt at coming off flirtatious would be his guess. Zero shits are still given.

Joe doesn’t waste any time, already wanting to get back to you, even if he knows you went to go call your mom and let her know what happened. Still, he needs to, at the very least, get back before he has to feed you some bullshit excuse about where he was. “I need to add a new card on file for Calista Anoa’i.”

She leans forward, chin in her hand, uneven, needle thin eyebrows wiggling. “Are you dad?”

Obviously. “Yes.”

“Lucky kid.” He’d take a good guess that she doesn’t recognize him, which for that, he’s grateful. She just finds him attractive, which is still irritating and unprofessional as hell. Have an attraction, but don’t be so vocal and desperate. “Mom too.”

Ignoring her comment, he grabs his wallet, pulling out his card and sliding it over.

“Do—”

“Change it to the default payment,” he instructs, not in the mood for whatever else she wants to try. It’s all in vain. He has eyes for one woman only, and it certainly isn’t her. “Is there any way you can set it up for autopay?”

She gives Joe a strange expression, like she questions his ability to consent. Because no one in their right mind would authorize a hospital to have such power with their money. “Umm, we can, but it’s really not recommended because you can never guarantee just how much insurance will and won’t cover. So, if they deny the claim in its entirety, then they’ll charge the entire balance—”

“That’s fine,” he cuts her off. “Just do it, and make sure any future charges go to that card only.” He thinks about it, asking, “matter of fact, can you take mom’s card off file altogether?” Joe knows you’re gonna bite his head off for this, and he doesn’t care. He knows medical bills can get costly, and you’re not making bank on a teacher’s salary. The least he can do is take care of his daughter’s medical costs.

“Uhh, sure, as long as you understand—”

“Money isn’t an issue. At all. Do it.”

She shakes her head but types away eventually reaching Joe his card. “All done. You can call and change it at any—”

“I won’t.” And that’s a fact. “Thank you.” 

Joe doesn’t give her a chance to respond or try anything else, turning to head back to the waiting area and is relieved when you return only minutes after he’s sat down. 

“Well, as expected, she’s upset I didn’t call her but calmed down a little bit when I told her you’ve been here with me,” you catch him up, sitting down next to him again. “And she’s on her way. She wants us to go back to my place to get some sleep.” 

Immediately, he protests. “We can’t leave Callie.”

You open your mouth to mostly agree with him when you hear footsteps and feel your stomach flutter seeing Kai heading in your direction.

He gets straight to the point. “Surgery was successful. She’s gonna be fine.” There are no words to properly describe your relief. The past hour felt like the longest period of your life and to know that it wasn’t in vain is so utterly comforting. 

“Thank God,” you breathe, also standing up with Joe. “Thank you, Kai.” You briefly close your eyes, shaking your head and correcting yourself. “I’m sorry, uhh. Dr. Sawyer.” 

“Come on, Y/N. I’ll always just be Kai to you.” It’s said so innocently, and it’s also then you notice the wedding band on his left hand. But, Joe must be giving him a look, because he’s suddenly awkwardly clearing his throat. “Because she’s so young, I'd like to keep her a couple more days to monitor her.”

“Of course,” you agree. There’s no protest at your daughter having medical personnel surrounding her at all times following a surgical procedure. 

He nods and starts to walk away when you remember something, catching him and moving away from Joe to speak privately. 

“Ummm…..” you haven't a clue how to approach nor explain this but try your best. “Joe…..he’s just now in her life. She—she doesn’t even know he’s her dad. It’s….a long, complicated story, but we’re trying to keep everything private—”

He says your name, interrupting you, “ever heard of HIPAA? None of what happened tonight leaves this emergency room.” You nod, slightly assured. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ll remind the nurses of that too.’

That gives you all of the relief. The last thing you want or need is this becoming fodder for the media. One of the many reasons you love your town is how off the grid it is with a lot of things. Most of them probably wouldn’t even recognize Joe, and the few who do would never dare speak of it outside of this same town, respecting that he’s still a human being. 

“Thank you, Kai. Seriously.” 

He offers you such a genuine smile and adds, “I’m glad I got to see you, Y/N. The circumstances weren’t the best, but I’m pleased to see you ended up happy.” He starts to walk backwards, adding with a slight smirk. “About time you moved on from the likes of Amir and Mariah.”

That throws you for a loop. You understand the part about Amir, but Mariah?

What did he mean by that?

You don’t really have time to think about it, because Joe is at your side, holding your hand and reminding you that you two need to get back in the room for Callie. That’s enough to put the confusion about what just occurred to the back burner. 

Thankfully, when they roll Callie back into her room, she’s still slightly out of it from the anesthesia. But when she comes to, she’s thrilled to see the both of you and announces in a small, proud voice, “I did it.”

It gives you another genuine laugh, and the two of you enjoy her, your brave, sweet little girl. 

As you expected, your mom enters the room, immediately going and comforting Callie. She gives you a little slap on your arm for not calling her, still upset about that. 

That’s also expected.

What isn’t entirely expected is your mom talking to Callie about why you and Joe need to go home for a little bit to rest because you’re tired too. She’s not entirely wrong, Now that you’re out of the flight of it all, you’re crashing and crashing hard. Even Joe looks tired. 

Surprisingly, your mom is able to get Callie to agree with this. It takes more convincing for Joe, but he also eventually relents. And instead of driving all the way to your place, you suggest you two just go to his hotel room which is closer to the hospital.

That’s an easy sell for him. 

Reaching the hotel, you convince Joe to shower first, as you have something you need to take care of. It takes some convincing, but he eventually agrees. Once you hear the shower running, you pull out your phone, surprised to see it hasn’t died and has enough, hopefully, for you to shoot out one more message. 

One you’ve been putting off, but desperately need, especially as of the last 24 to 48 hours. 

Alexis,

Hi. I know it’s been a couple of weeks since my last email, and I’m sorry. I would text you, but I have no idea where in the world you are right now or if you have reception. So, email it is. A lot….a lot has happened. Joe is back in the picture, and he knows about Callie. But, interestingly enough, that’s not an issue at all. He’s so good with her, and she already clearly loves him so much. We haven’t told her he’s her dad, but he plans to do it for Christmas. Callie also had to have emergency surgery last night. Her appendix. That was….a lot. She’s good now, made it out of surgery fine. Thank God. Also, Joe’s divorced. And he more or less told me he wants us to be together, and I don’t know how to feel about that. Sorry, this is all over the place. Joe and I have been up all night with Callie at the hospital, so my brain isn’t working. I just needed to send this now, because I keep forgetting, and I miss you and could really use some advice right now. I need my long distance best friend. 

Love,

Your favorite college roomie

You should probably reread your email before sending it, but that requires energy, and you’re literally operating on fumes. When Joe steps out of the bathroom, shirtless, you don’t even bat an eye, which is unlike you. You’ve always been insanely attracted to him, for obvious reasons. 

You just accept the shirt he offers, close the bathroom door, strip naked and step into the shower. So exhausted, you don’t even realize until halfway through you forgot to use the shower cap but thankfully only a little bit of your hair gets wet.

Not that it matters. Even washing yourself is such a task. 

You’re out of the shower as soon as you feel adequately clean, rid of hospital germs. You don’t even care that the shirt is the only thing covering your otherwise nude body, breast stretching against the cotton. 

It is what it is. 

Stepping out of the bathroom with your clothes tucked under your side, you settle on placing them on a nearby chair. Or maybe it’s a table. You’re not too sure nor do you care all that much. You just need to sleep. 

But, it’s also when you see he’s moving toward the sofa, you know you need something else. 

Someone.

“Joe.”

He turns around, and you move over to him, reaching for his hand. The tug is slight but enough to have him follow your guidance toward the bed where you switch positions so he falls on his back. Moving to the side of the mattress, you climb into the bed and turn on your side, back toward him. You don’t need to ask, because his strong arm is suddenly around you, pulling you into his hard chest.

Sighing in content, you allow his mouth to graze your temple as he pulls the blankets over the both of you.

Hand on his thick forearm that’s keeping you close against him, you murmur, “Callie comes first. We get her straight, make sure she’s okay.” You roll on your back, meeting his telling gaze. “Then we figure out us.”

Joe is staring down at you with an affection you hadn’t realized you missed so deeply until this moment. He doesn’t say anything, just nods in acknowledgment and caresses your cheek. Grateful and tired of so much thinking, you push your body against his, shifting with him as moves onto his back and keeps you close against him.

He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you, because none of that matters in that moment. You don’t need to think about anything, don’t want to think about anything, just want to be close to him, just be with the man you’re almost certain now that you never stopped loving. 

And also now wonder if he once felt the same, still feels the same. 

If he’s always felt the same way. 

[steddieas-shegoes]

Request: the party is at the Hopper-Byers house for the July 4th celebrations and Steve has a really bad nightmare caused by childhood trauma/abuse mixed in with Upside Down horror. He wakes up but is still lost in the nightmare + PTSD from the fireworks. Eddie can't calm him down. Nobody in the party can calm him down, he isn't fully awake. Its terrifying. What calms him down is Wayne, speaking in low tones about Garfield, and the weather and Eddie. He refuses to talk to anyone about the pleas and desperate sobs of "no..get off" & "leave me alone" but is extra clingy to Eddie & Wayne once he comes out of the flashback. It's also the 1st time he calls Wayne 'dad'

MY LOVE!!!!!! Sometimes I make myself cry so hard that I have to add the most ridiculous fluff to make it better. That's what's happened here. It's sad, it's hurt, but then it's so so so much comfort and fluff. I can't resist and I can't apologize. Plus you know supportive Wayne is like MY BRAND. Steve calling him dad? Jesus the tears I let out. I'm actually a pretty firm believer that at some point over the years, Eddie started calling him dad because he was a better one than his own ever was. Hope you all cry in a good way with this. - Mickala ❤️

-----------------------------------------------------------

Steve went to bed a while ago, his head hurting a bit too much to handle the fireworks show that Hopper and Jonathan were putting on. Eddie went with him, though he wasn’t tired, at Robin’s insistence.

She’d given him a look that said enough.

They’d all been dreading this day, at least a little, because of Starcourt the year before.

Steve was asleep in Will’s bed, curled up against Eddie’s side, breathing even.

Until it wasn’t.

Until his hands were gripping Eddie’s shirt like it was a lifeline, his feet started kicking like he was running from something.

He was whimpering in his sleep, clearly terrified of something, but Eddie couldn’t be sure what.

Steve tended to have a wide variety of nightmares: reminders of his childhood traumas, reminders of the Upside Down and Russians, and terrible visions of something that would hopefully never be the future.

They all caused him to struggle to wake up, and usually he was crying uncontrollably for hours when he finally did.

Eddie tried to prop himself up slightly, ready to try to hold Steve as still as he could.

Steve fought him off though, mumbling something in his sleep.

Eddie let him, knew better than to actively attempt waking him up during a nightmare.

He kept a hand on him, adjusting as Steve shifted in the bed. Trying to talk to him quietly, barely whispering reassurances that he was safe and loved and everyone would protect him.

Sometimes that worked. It wasn’t quite enough to wake him up from it, but he’d calm down and drift back into a mostly dreamless sleep.

Not this time.

He started sobbing, tears streaming down his cheeks from his still-closed eyes. He wasn’t quite tossing and turning, but he was moving enough that Eddie didn’t want to stay too close just in case either of them ended up hurt.

It killed him, but he put space between them.

“Eddie, no!”

Eddie flinched at the despair in Steve’s voice.

He heard a knock on the door, but couldn’t pull himself completely away to open it, so he yelled for them to come in.

Robin and Max were at the door with wide eyes, Dustin and Will standing behind them.

“Is he okay?” Robin started as she walked in.

“He’s having a nightmare.”

“Why can we not just wake him up?” El asked curiously.

“He wakes up on his own. If you try to wake him up he could accidentally hurt you.”

“But he is hurting,” she said, deep frown settling on her features as she watched Steve moving in bed.

Robin sat down on the edge of the bed just as a firework went off in the backyard, making her jump.

Steve’s eyes shot open, and he stopped moving.

But he wasn’t awake.

“Please stop. I can’t-“ Steve’s voice was pained, like he was being tortured.

“Hey, why don’t you rugrats go get Joyce or Hop or something?”

The kids hesitated, clearly not wanting to leave Steve even for a moment, but finally all turned to grab an adult from the firework show.

Joyce came in only a minute later, eyes wide and searching.

“Steve?” She asked as she got close to the bed, watching his open eyes crying silently now. “Sweetie, can you hear me?”

“This only happened once when I was around. He’s like, lost in the nightmare. He says when this happens is when he can physically feel what’s happening instead of just picturing it.”

“Bless his heart,” Joyce sighed. “Do you know what the nightmares are?”

“They’re different all the time,” Eddie said quietly.

“No, not her! I’m the one you want, right?” Steve yelled suddenly.

Everyone jumped and Steve and Robin shared a long glance.

“Maybe the Russians? We’ve had a lot of reminders today.”

Joyce placed a hand on his face to wipe his tears, but Steve flinched and curled himself into a ball.

“No, no, no,” he repeated.

“It’s okay, honey. It’s Joyce. We’re all gonna keep you safe,” she said softly, her hand still stroking through his hair.

She was trying to comfort him, but it seemed like the touch just made things worse. After another minute, she pulled her hand away and Eddie could see she was fighting back tears.

He put his hand on her shoulder as he heard a few more people come in.

“It’s okay. When he wakes up, he’ll be happy to know you tried,” Eddie said, though at this point, he figured if Steve knew that everyone was watching him have a nightmare, he’d be embarrassed at best, ashamed at worst.

“Maybe we should give him space,” Max suggested from the corner.

She suffered from terrible nightmares, too. She hated sleepovers now, usually chose to take the guest room of Steve’s house instead of on the floor in the living room with everyone just in case she had one. El would sometimes go with her, but most of the time, Max preferred being alone.

Steve was similar in that he usually hated anyone trying to take care of him, but Eddie and Robin usually didn’t give him a choice.

“Max is right,” Hopper said from the door, though he looked just as concerned as Joyce. “If he wakes up to all of us standing around him, he’s just gonna feel worse.”

“Let me get in there,” Wayne mumbled from behind Hopper.

Wayne had never seen Steve’s nightmares firsthand, just heard recounts of them from Eddie, but he’d felt terrible for the boy. He had his own share of nightmares from the war, and wouldn’t wish them on anyone.

Eddie and Wayne shared a look, one that had Eddie moving so Wayne could sit on the bed with Steve instead.

“Alright, everyone but Wayne and Eddie out!” Hopper said just loud enough to make a point.

Wayne wasn’t paying attention to everyone leaving, too focused on reading the situation at hand and preparing for whatever it might take to get Steve out of it.

“He ever punch when he’s in a nightmare?” He asked Eddie as he sat down close to him.

“Only once with Robin, then she learned to leave enough space that she could get up if he started throwing his hands around. It’s happened to me a couple times because I don’t want to leave him alone.”

“Alright, just stay right there for a few minutes. I’m gonna try to hold his wrists so I know if he’s gonna punch.”

“You aren’t restraining him, right? He doesn’t like to be restrained,” Eddie started nervously chewing on his hair.

“No, son. Not restraining. I’m gonna let him go if he starts to push against me, but it’s just so I know when he’s gonna start throwin’ his hands around.”

Eddie nodded and watched as Wayne sat back against the headboard of the bed and pulled Steve completely into his lap.

Steve wasn’t fighting it, but he was letting out little “no, no, no”’s until Wayne got him completely settled with his head against his chest, ear pressed to his heartbeat.

“Alright, bud, we’re gonna get you through this. You and me, kid. Just us. I’ve got you right here, you hear my heart? I got you.” Eddie watched as Steve’s crying continued to get worse. “Oh! You know that stupid Garfield mug? Broke the handle on it again. Damn thing seems like it’s giving up for good. I’ll have to steal the one you keep at the house.”

Steve’s whimpering was a bit quieter, his body relaxing a little more into Wayne.

“Tomorrow’s s’posed to be nice, maybe we should head out to the lake and fish. Leave Eddie behind, he scares the fish,” Wayne smirked over at Eddie, who was only holding back a comment because he was still too worried about Steve.

Steve was now silently crying, and Eddie knew he was probably closer to awake than asleep.

“I know you’ll probably say Eddie’s welcome, but that kid don’t shut up. Don’t know how you put up with him. Of my two boys, I’d much rather take you fishin’ and take Ed to a bar.”

Eddie bit his lip at the implication that Steve was one of Wayne’s boys. He knew Wayne adored Steve, but didn’t realize he was ready to adopt him as his own.

“There you are, bud. You awake?” Wayne was talking softer than Eddie had ever heard, and when he looked at Steve, he realized why.

Steve had finally managed to wake up completely, and his whole body was shivering, more from fear than being cold.

Eddie still found a blanket at the end of the bed and covered him, watching as Wayne mouthed a quick thank you over Steve’s head.

“You want me to keep talkin’?” Wayne asked.

Steve nodded.

“You got it, though this is more what Eddie’s good at. Ya know the first night he lived with me, I couldn’t get him to even say hello? Poor kid was like Bambi, didn’t trust anyone or anything, big brown eyes watching every breath I took until he was in his room. The next day I woke him up with pancakes, the recipe you like most with the cinnamon apples, and he hasn’t shut up since.”

Steve let out a breath that could have been a laugh if he wasn’t coming down from one of the worst nightmares Eddie’s seen him have.

Wayne’s hands were running along his arm and back, comforting and keeping him warm.

“Maybe we can head back to the house, I can make us those pancakes in the morning before we go fishin’. That sound good, kid?”

“Yeah, dad.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, and he saw Wayne’s hands freeze.

Then Steve was trying to pull away, his eyes shining with unshed tears that hadn’t been there a moment ago.

But Wayne pulled him back, held him against his chest and placed a kiss to the top of his head.

“I’m not lettin’ you go yet, son. Not unless you would rather be with Ed.”

Steve shook his head.

Eddie didn’t take offense to it, he was with Steve all the time and he knew Wayne was the best at giving support in times like this.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“What?”

“Anything.”

Steve shook his head.

“You ever talk about it with anyone?”

Steve shook his head.

“You think you should?”

Steve nodded.

“I ever tell you about when I got back from Vietnam?”

Steve shook his head.

“Is it okay if Ed sits down on the bed with us? Maybe you can hold his hand.”

Thank every god for Wayne Munson. Eddie was practically crawling out of his skin with the need to have his hand on Steve, make sure he was really okay.

Steve nodded.

Eddie sat down on the other side of Wayne, letting his head rest against his shoulder while Steve propped his legs in his lap.

“Everyone cozy?”

“Mhm,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” Eddie replied.

“When I first got back, I couldn’t sleep at all. Sometimes I’d drift off in my chair when I got too tired, but I’d usually wake up so quick my body didn’t even know I fell asleep. That went on for months until Jim got back. He was so much younger than me, ya know? Didn’t seem right that he had to go through what I did. We met for lunch a few times, we talked. He didn’t have much to say, neither did I, but sometimes we had a story to share. And ya know, dammit if it didn’t help.”

Eddie remembers back when he first started living with Wayne how he would sometimes have Hopper over for dinner, but never explained how they even really knew each other until he was older. Even then, he didn’t say much except that they had a lot of similar war stories.

“Didn’t have the time or money for professional help, but sometimes just gettin’ stuff off your chest can help. Ya know, I cut back my hours at the plant. Don’t need to work all that overtime now that the government bought us a house and pays the bills on it. Kinda nice to just have some time for doin’ what I wanna do. Maybe we could start takin’ a few hours a week to go fishin’. Maybe have lunch at the diner and chat.”

Eddie could feel tears running down his face at Wayne’s offer, at how much he cared for Steve.

“You’d wanna do that with me?” Steve’s voice was shaking, and Eddie didn’t have to see his face to know he was crying.

“I’d love to, bud. You’re my kiddo, ya know? Just as much as Eddie is.”

Steve let out a sob, and curled further into Wayne’s chest. Eddie squeezed his knee, letting him know he was there if he needed him.

“I love ya, kid. You’re gonna be just fine, alright? Not gonna let anyone or anything hurt you.”

“Thanks, dad.”

“Anytime, kiddo.”

They stayed there for a while, probably close to an hour, Steve holding Eddie’s hand while Wayne talked to them both.

Eventually, everyone was heading home and Steve decided to head back with Wayne and Eddie instead of staying with the Byers as planned.

“Get some rest, honey. We love you,” Joyce wrapped her arms around him and squeezed as he said his goodbyes to everyone.

The ride back was quiet, Wayne driving them both in his truck, the radio playing old country the whole way home.

When they got home, Steve decided to take a quick shower before he went to bed, said he didn’t feel clean.

Wayne furrowed his brows, but nodded.

Eddie kissed him once on the forehead before letting him head to the bathroom.

Wayne turned to him when they heard the shower turn on, his face pained.

“Has he ever talked about his childhood?”

“Not much. Said he used to spend summers with his grandparents and cousins when his parents didn’t wanna take him with them. He hated it, but didn’t say much about it.”

Wayne looked, somehow, worse.

“Has he ever been scared to be touched? Even just a hug? Outside of the nightmares?”

Eddie nodded.

“I mean, not so much with me or Robin anymore, but sometimes with the others, yeah.”

Wayne put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a sad smile.

“It’s not my place to make assumptions, but I think he had plenty of good reasons to hate staying with his grandparents and cousins. Just promise me you’ll listen if he talks to ya? No interruptin’ or judgin’.”

“Of course. I love him, I don’t want him to hide stuff from me,” Eddie responded.

“I know. I love ya, kid.”

“Love ya too,” Eddie was slightly confused, but didn’t ask. Steve would be done soon in the shower and he wanted to make sure he had some of his clothes to wear to bed.

Wayne made his way to his own room, giving a quick knock to the bathroom door and yelling that he loved him. Eddie heard a “love you, dad” in response.

Eddie had viewed Wayne as his dad for years, had called him dad sometimes when he let his guard down a bit. Wayne just had the natural protective, caring personality that a good father has, and Steve wasn’t immune to it.

When Steve made it out of the shower, Eddie was pulling the extra blanket out of his closet for Steve to wrap himself in like he did anytime he had a nightmare.

Steve walked over to him, towel wrapped around his waist, and leaned against him.

Eddie let his hands rest on his hips, right where the towel rested.

“Doing okay, sweetheart?”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

“Thanks for sharing Wayne with me.”

“Oh, angel, I don’t make that call. Wayne pretty much adopted you day one and I just had to let it happen,” Eddie smirked.

Steve giggled and kissed Eddie’s collarbone.

“I’m gonna talk to you about it all someday. I will. I promise.”

“No rush, sweet love. When you’re ready, though, I’m right here. So is Wayne.”

“I know. Love you.”

“Love you so much.”

As they fell asleep in Eddie’s bed that night, he realized what Wayne was alluding to and his heart broke into a million pieces. If he was right, then Steve had horrors unimaginable even before the Upside Down.

But Eddie would be here to listen to it when he was ready. He knew it would be hard to hear, but not nearly as hard as it had to be for Steve to live with.

And they both had Wayne, who wouldn’t let either of his boys hurt if he could help it.

[that-left-turn]

Is there a reason we as Carol fans can’t appreciate that she has had mature loving romantic relationships with other men? Why is it misogyny if it’s not Daryl? No one will answer this for me. Personally I wish she would have stayed where she was adored, and that was with Ezekiel. It’s actually more harmful that the writers pulled her away from that loving marriage and have her chasing dusty Daryl. That’s the real problem.

I'm pretty sure you don't want my answer to this, but since you asked, no, that's not the real problem.

Ezekiel adored his own idea of who Carol was, not the actual flawed woman and she didn't love him. He came with the bargain when she wanted to raise a child (who chose her). That's not a mature healthy relationship. He was also emotionally abusive, calling her a coward for not going in search of Henry when he went missing, despite not doing anything useful about the situation himself and he tried to cut off her emotional support in the wake of Henry's death by telling Daryl to make himself scarce. At best, Ezekiel's behavior is tone-deaf and selfish, and at worst, he's emotionally manipulative because he knows he can't "win" Carol's affection on a level playing field. He's a much better man than Ed, but he was using a lot of the same gameplays from the book of abusive spouses.

Carol's shaped by her past, just like real people and living with abuse changes your sense of self-worth and ability to ask for support and respect from your partner. Tobin wasn't love at all. It was an attempt at what she perceived as normalcy with a man who not so incidentally had the same body type as Ed. It was testing the waters. It was going back to the housewife who, in addition to making casseroles and baking cookies out of offbeat ingredients, had sex with a man she didn't love. By her own admission, she was lost during the time period when she chose both men.

I think Carol was raised (or indoctrinated) from childhood that parenthood meant a nuclear family. She obviously couldn't "take" Henry from Ezekiel. He'd been the brothers' family since their dad died and Benjamin had recently been killed. So, she had to take the man in the bargain and she'd settled for worse in the past. "King Ezekiel" was a ridiculous persona and their personalities were incredibly mismatched. He hid things from Carol, like retrieving that light bulb from the movie theater because he knew she wouldn't approve. That's not a healthy partnership. Ezekiel also tried to pressure her into changing to fit his fantasy, to be Queen Carol and the person he thought she should be. A gilded cage is still a cage.

Daryl has never tried to change who Carol is. He's always swallowed his own feelings, his pride, his concern... until things boiled over in S10. He was raw and honest and scared. Hurt, most of all. The fight at the cabin in "Find Me" was about him feeling unseen. He's been willing to settle all along for what Carol wants and trying to let her define what they are to each other, but he came very close to losing her entirely in the cave and on top of the cliffs. He wants it to be reciprocated that he lets her temper him, that he checks his impulse control for her. Daryl needs Carol to be cautious with herself because she's the loss he can't bear, not because he wants to tell her what to do or how to be.

He's the only one of Carol's men who's gotten in on the passenger side of the car and let her do the driving, and that's why Daryl is the one she's chasing to France. She loves him (as she herself has said) and she loves that he doesn't try to "tame" her. He understands the emotional and physical abuse she's suffered, he's been there for her losses and is the only one left who's met Sophia. They have history and emotional support that isn't conditional with each other. They understand each other's need for space and freedom. As Melissa said in an interview, Daryl is Carol's life partner.

[todorokistheories]

Rei's Abuse Saved Shouto

This sounds batshit fucking crazy but hear me out.

tw: abuse, domestic violence, child abuse, everything that comes with talking about the todorokis

I've been thinking about this a lot.

Touya exists as a cautionary tale for "the abused becomes the abuser" (something I don't really believe in all that much but horikoshi has done some weird shit with the todorokis so we're going with it) in the sense that he never truly learned empathy and/or denounced it for the sake of his revenge. Everything was for him, always about him, and that was his life until he suddenly faced the trauma of realizing he wasn't a masterpiece in his father's eyes. That's a horrible life for a child, it obviously broke him. He was praised an applauded until he wasn't, believed to be cast aside and thrown away.

This obviously had a HUGE impact on him (literally his reason for everything). The fact that he attacked Shouto, a tiny little baby, only further proves my point that Touya never actually learned how to think outside of himself. He never needed to, and he wasn't shown how to. He was stuck perpetually searching for value that was given to someone else. He still cared for people, but as a child he wasn't given the chance to learn how to empathize.

Empathy is taught, it's not an innate skill. It can be cultivated over time or initial empathy can be smothered, but it is something you work on whether consciously or subconsciously.

Fast forward to Shouto who, yes was also heavily abused, but additionally witnessed the abuse of the only person at the time who was allowed to show him kindness. Touya grew up with his dad loving him, Shouto did not. Touya was told that he, as a person, was special. Shouto was not.

We see throughout the series that watching his mother be abused fundamentally changed the way Shouto saw everything. When his mother disfigures him he immediately blames his father and wants her back. He knows what it's like to be Endeavor's punching bag in a world where you have no support and no way to escape.

He wanted to protect his mom before he even understood what was happening. She was all he had, and all he needed was for her to be able to be there for him. Endeavor never let that happen.

In juxtaposition to this, Touya redirected his anger towards Fuyumi and Natsuo. This is interesting because in the series, Natsuo does a similar thing with Shouto but that could be an entire analysis in and of itself. Touya blamed Rei wholeheartedly because Endeavor was still perfect in his eyes.

Everyone was enough and he just somehow didn't cut it.

Flash forward into his time in the League and it's obvious that he wasn't given the opportunity to change his thinking. It's uncertain throughout the series and that is the biggest unfinished thread in my opinion when it comes to Touya's character.

His willingness to kill, regardless of former or current relation and his obvious joy in enacting pain and suffering is just a hallmark of low empathy. It's why Shouto's character is so intriguing as a foil, because he SHOULD hate Endeavor he SHOULD want him dead. But what Shouto wants more than anything is to be the hero that could've saved his mom. She has been a central part of his development, present or not.

This is in no way saying that Rei's abuse was the only thing that could've saved Shouto from following in Touya's footsteps, but it's the only thing from the series itself that explains it.

[lefetfritos]

hi ive seen ur stuff pop up whenever i search for half-life things and the tags always make me throw my head back. im so curious. may i ask what the portal to hell au is about. i mean this in a positive way i promise.

HI! YEAH! THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST

The portal to hell au was orignaly meant to just be an au fully combing portal and half life instead of there just being a few refrences to each other like in the game, but i also wanted an excuse to use a specific g-man design i made

The main premise of the au is that chell replaces gordons role in half life two because portal 2 happens around the same time gordon would normally get out of stasis in hl2.

Gordon is fully working under g-man along side adrian and never fully gets let out of stasis. The only reason g-man even employed gordon was because he knew gordon was wallaces kid, and g-man hates wallace.

Gordon never takes up any role in the resistance, and the only reason hes fighting against the combine and wallace is for g-man. Chell does take up a role in the resistance however and completeley takes the role of what gordon does in hl2.

And for the final sibling, john, his role is similae to barneys except while alot nicer than the other combine, hes not undercover for the resistance in anyway, but does support them. He eventually does completeley stop working for the combine and joins the resistance after chell is able to convince him however.

I also wanted to give wallace a reason to become the representative for humanity. Instead of him just being the manipulative asshole like he is in the game (he still kind of is one but thats besides the point) i wanted to make it so he had someone pressuring him into taking that role, so i gave him a dad.

His dad , William Breen (not a permanet name) only wanted wallace to take his job and continue the “family tradition” of becoming a higher up at black mesa, but wallace didnt really want that, which is where g-man comes in.

Gene (G-man) and wallace had been friends since highschool, and Gene had always known how bad wallaces dad was, so while they were together one day, Gene had wanted wallace to run away with him and their friends to get away from their parents. Wallace had to think about it but that gave his dad time to manipulate wallace into killing Gene.

Wallaces dad made Wallace push Gene into a expieremental teleporter, since it was thought that going into it would kill the person inside of it, it didnt how ever.

The teleporter completeley ripped out Genes soul, making him take on a kind of shadowy figure with no real physical form. He spent years in what looks like just a black void until he eventually figured out how to give himself a physical form. Hes able to control how he looks, so he gave himself kind of an uncanny look. While hes in this form where he actually has acertain look, hes no able to show emotions, so almost every emotion he shows, he has to show through the shadowy form.

The only other thing i can think to talk about is rose and wallace. Rose met wallace in a bar in 1969, a year after the teleporter incident. Wallace immediately adored rose but was terrified to talk to her.

He eventually saw her again at meetings that black mesa and apeture science had (before that whole dumbass rivalry started) and only talked to her because judith pushed him to.

They started dating a few weeks later, and eventually got married in 1971 during september. Rose eventually ended up having gordon on may of 1972, then chell in october of 1974, and finally john in april of 1977.

Both wallace and rose were amazing parents, and wallace didnt start becoming absent until rose disapeared in 1985.

Wallace was in a horrible place after rose disapeared, she was the only thing keeping him together. He tried his best to provide for his kids but becuase he was barely getting paid by his dad, and was not at home 99% percent of the time due to being at black mesa working under his dad, his kids grew to not like him and resented him.

Wallaces dad took rose disapearing as a way to manipulate wallace even more, causing him to become more of an asshole. He eventually even manipulated wallace into getting “enhancements” that caused wallace to stop aging and not be fully human anymore like him in 1987.

Thats kind of all i can remember right now smiles

[crossovershipstournament]

SIDE 2D: ROUND 1: Bowser (Super Mario)/Dr. Eggman (Sonic) VS Beastman (Masters of the Universe)/Lifeweaver (Overwatch 2)

Propaganda for Bowser/Dr. Eggman:

I support single villain dads dating https://www.tumblr.com/egg-emperor/713984787597164544/perfect-diabolical-dilf-duo-and-theyre-together

Propaganda for Beastman/Lifeweaver:

Okay, this crossover ship is brand spanking new because Lifeweaver's character was only released 6 days ago, but- Okay, so, Lifeweaver used to attend the Academy owned by the Vishkra Corporation until he went backpacking around the world and saw all the damage to the planet that was being done in the name of corporate greed and global control. Lifeweaver left Vishkra and joined Overwatch to "heal the world". He is a support character with healing abilities and a floral/plant-based aesthetic. Beastman used to be Skeletor's most loyal minion until Skeletor died in the first episode of Revelation. Beastman then made it his life's mission to protect Evil-Lyn whom had been Skeletor's lover and second-in-command. He is loyal to Lyn to a fault and at the end of Revelation, Beastman allows Lyn to turn him into a more animal-like beast, then he's almost immediately flung off a cliff and assumed dead. Beastman was done dirty by the narrative and is in need of physical and spiritual healing. Lifeweaver is a healer who wants to personally save everything. Lifeweaver could show Beastman that life is worth living without having to submit his service to a master, he could live for himself according to his own will. Beastman can teach Lifeweaver the follies of devoting too much of yourself to a singular purpose or ideal and that he needs to set aside time for himself and his own needs. They complete each other. Also, Lifeweaver/Beastman would be plant-animal solidarity.

Animal/plant solidarity, beauty and the beast aesthetic, they just complete each other, okay???

mutual support's the name of the game, my friend! Beastman is fiercely loyal even to the point of his own destruction. In MotU:R he's so loyal to Evil-Lyn that he allows her to turn him into a were-creature to fight for her, then he died. But at every step and beat of their relationship, Beastman was always supportive of Lyn, both physically in battle and also emotionally when they were both putting up with Skeletor's abuse. He even calls Lyn out when she continues the cycle of abuse after Skeletor is deposed. He is an emotionally strong man who's not afraid to show his vulnerable side. Lifeweaver is a new character from Overwatch 2 and we don't technically know a lot about him just yet. The canon facts we do know are that he used to attend the Vishkar Academy, but dropped out. He then went backpacking around the world and witnessed first hand how the corporate greed of the Vishkar corporation was killing the planet. He used his Academy training to develop the bio-light technique he uses to be a healer and support fighting in battle. But he's also a Thai Buddhist who believes in healing over destruction and believes that anyone can change, and learn, and grown if given the opportunity. Beastman and Lifeweaver are soulmates, places in different franchises because they would be too powerful together.

first of all, look at this adorable art of them: https://www.tumblr.com/kawehi-the-squigs/714344228724129792/commission-for-beastweaver-had-fun-with-this-one?source=share , and if you're still not convinced, then let me tell you about Beastman's character arch in MotU:R. When Beastman makes his first appearance in the series, he charges on the scene to protect Evil-Lyn (whom is a mage with long white hair). Over the course of the series it becomes apparent that his loyalty to Lyn is more than just simple friendship, but she's obviously not into him so Beastman is content to stay by her side as her friend and protector. When Evil-Lyn goes back to Skeletor, Beastman follows her. When Skeletor resume manipulating and abusing Lyn, Beastman is there to remind her of her value as a person and tell her that she's deserves better than Skeletor. When Evil-Lyn defeats Skeletor and takes over Caste Grayskull from him, Beastman is the voice of reason that calls Lyn out on continuing Skeletor's cycle of abuse. Beastman truly loved Lyn and wanted her to be happy, healthy, alive, and the best version of herself even if she wasn't with him. But, Evil-Lyn turned him into some kinda even more beastly beast-monster and sends him out to die in battle for her. Now, enter Lifeweaver from Overwatch 2. Lifeweaver is a scientist who created a kind of living light technique to heal his comrades in battle. To Beastman, this technology would appear like magic. Lifeweaver would appear like a mage, and he has long white hair. Lifeweaver would remind Beastman of all the good things about Lyn, but Lifeweaver doesn't have any of her flaws or failings (Lifeweaver's got his own flaws, but this post ain't about that). AND Lifeweaver has never perpetuated the cycle of abuse and, in fact, one of his voice lines is "grow into who you truly are". Lifeweaver would encourage Beastman to grow in ways he never could have on Eternia with Lyn and Skeletor. Lifeweaver could help Beastman to become the best version of himself. Beastman in turn could keep Lifeweaver grounded and not let him become so carried away by his ideals that he forgets where he is in the present. They compete each other.

(There is so much more; but I actually don't think I'll be able to fit ALL of it in here; this might be the ship in the tournament with the MOST propaganda! Mega props to the submitters, I adore your passion!)

Art Credit:

Bowser/Eggman art by @/kannra-orhara Beastman/Lifeweaver by @/kawehi-the-squigs, commissioned by @/beastweaver

[gojosoath]

the world underneath your skin — toji fic

MINORS DON'T INTERACT // 18+ ONLY!!

pairing: toji fushiguro x fem!reader (uses she/her pronouns)

tags: romance x ANGST x like a SHIT TON OF ANGST x AU (no sorcerer stuff in this au) x action x some smut x m!oral x cowgirl x penetrative smut x toji being a major tease

warnings: alcoholism x self harm (Y/N self harms, i do NOT mean this in any way implying that the reader (you) do this. and that if you have struggled/or are struggling with self harm, this is a major trigger warning. as someone who personally has struggled with self harm, i know how sensitive the topic is) x death (only characters' death from manga is toji's wife and megumi)

summary: After spending most of his life as an underground hitman for desperate means to support himself financially — Toji Fushiguro gets recruited to work as an assassin for the government due to his his mastered skills. Through his new occupation, Toji struggles with muscle pains and is recommended to see a massage therapist. Toji meets Y/N, who becomes Toji’s massage therapist, and the two realize they both have toxic addictions they hide from daylight; Toji’s alcoholism and Y/N’s self-harm. Along the way, Toji and Y/N can’t seem to stay away from each other despite the darkness that threatens to keep them apart. 

Table of Contents // my ao3 // taglist form

taglist: @sakinotfound ;@nanamingojo; @bubs-world ; @saskamo

a/n: I really enjoyed writing this chapter. also, if you would like to be part of my taglist, please fill out my google form which i have linked above. the only way I'll put you in my taglist is if you fill out the taglist form from now on.

MAJOR WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: toji does get SA'd in this chapter, if you are uncomfortable or this is triggering, please read over it. y/n does excessive self-harming in this chapter too.

Part 4: Broken Promises (wc: 7.3k)

You get through your week by working, cleaning your apartment, trying to take care of your dad, and leaning over the cold bathroom sink. You’ve been standing over your bathroom sink for almost twenty minutes now, contemplating if you can get through your day without this. Tears stain your cheeks, your hand gripping the edge of the sink. On the other hand, something glints under the bathroom lights as your open palm shifts. You inhale shakily and look up at the reflection staring back at you, promising yourself;

Just one

You make a cut with your razor on the inside of your arm. You set the razor to the side and watch as blood begins to trickle from your wound. Sniffling, you take a tissue and press it against your arm. You glance at the time on your phone, you need to stop by your dad’s house and then get to the clinic to start your day of appointments. But you still don’t feel relaxed, your eyes going back to the razor that sits to the side of the sink. You bite onto your bottom lip, swallowing back a sob that tightens around your throat. You look up at the mirror;

One more and that will be it…

The sensation of Willow’s whiskers against your face is what brings you back to life. Your back is against something hard and cold, eyelids heavy, arms numb. Whenever this happens, you get afraid. You feel the wetness of Willow’s nose against your cheek and say hoarsely; 

“Willow…thank you.” 

┅

“You said it would be a one-time thing,” Toji says through gritted teeth as Naoya mindlessly flips through paperwork on his desk.

“Hey, she really enjoyed your service,” Naoya doesn’t even look up at Toji, “trust me, Fushigurio, all of this will amount to something in the end.” He sets down the clipboard against his desk, leaning forward and clasping his hands underneath his chin, “I promise.” 

“Are you sure this is a request from your dad?” Toji retorts, cocking an eyebrow at him.

Naoya doesn’t bat an eyelash, “We all know you’re just a monster whose only thrill is sex and killing. Don’t worry, you will get to kill the target…soon.” 

Toji stares Naoya dead in the eye, and wordlessly, he walks until he’s leaning over Naoya’s desk. “We all have our limits,” Toji threatens in a low voice, “are you wanting to see mine?”

Naoya clears his throat, swiveling in his chair and standing up, “I’ve got a meeting to attend,” He adjusts his tie, “it’s only for one last time, get it done.” 

┅

Toji grabs the keys from Shiu’s hands, making him drop his cigarette, “Hey!” Shiu alarms but Toji just shoves past him and gets into the driver’s seat. “What happened?! What’s going on?” 

“Getting a drink,” Toji grumbles and shuts the door in Shiu’s face, driving off. Toji drives to his usual bar, and the environment is empty due to it only being the afternoon. He takes his spot at the bar and the server places his usual order in front of him without any words being exchanged. Toji chugs down the alcohol, burning his throat, some of it even dripping down the corner of his mouth. To get the task that was given to him from Naoya done tonight, he would need to forget about it the next day. 

When Toji is on his fourth glass, his phone buzzes with a notification. He doesn’t want to deal with it, expecting it to probably be Shiu. But when his phone buzzes again, and with an annoyed sigh, he checks his screen and sees a number that he doesn’t recognize. He opens up the messages:

Y/N: Hi Toji, this is Y/N, your massage therapist. 

Y/N: I’m so sorry to be texting you from my personal phone, but something urgent came up today and I have to cancel our appointment for tonight. I can reschedule you for next week though

It hits Toji like a brick being thrown at his face; he had gotten so caught up in his work that he had lost track of his days. Was today really Monday? Toji even checks the date on his phone to confirm. He sets the glass down, along with his phone, and holds his head in his hands. He had been looking forward to this appointment all week, and yet on the day, it completely got buried underneath all the shit that was thrown at him at the last minute. It’s probably the alcohol that’s hitting his system but he wants to see you, coming to your clinic was what was making him motivated to get through his week. 

Toji: We can meet up later tonight if you want

Toji expects a response from you fast but an hour passes by and there’s no response. Toji orders another drink, and two more drinks until he’s stumbling out of the bar, the world before his eyes moving around in a carousel-like vision. Toji calls Shiu to pick him up and drive him to the designated hotel he’s supposed to be at soon. 

┅

You’re in the bathroom of your clinic, crouched down with the floor beneath you blurred. Your heart feels like it’s trying to claw its way out of your chest, your arms and legs are numb, head pounding because it feels like you’re not getting enough oxygen into your lungs. You try to exhale but all you can do is inhale, inhale, inhale until you’re hiccuping and having to hold onto the sink for leverage so you don’t fall over. 

“Just one more,” You whisper erratically as your trembling hands go to the pocket of your work shirt and take out the small plastic container that holds your razors. You blink your eyes to get rid of the tears that were blurring your vision. You don’t have much time until your next client comes in so you have to get this done fast. You roll up your sleeve and give yourself a cut, finally giving your lungs the cue to release. You exhale, every fiber inside of you focusing on the burning sensation of the cut on your arm. You’re alive, you’re at work and most importantly, you’re still human. 

You put the razor back into the plastic container and slide your sleeve over your arm, washing your hands and splashing some cold water on your face. Your phone buzzes with a notification and you see that Toji has messaged you again, you had ignored his message earlier. 

Toji: I really want to see you tonight, we don’t have to meet up at your clinic 

You contemplate what you should do, the reason you had to cancel on Toji was that you didn’t have time to check up on your dad before work since you fell into a spiral of self-harm. You were worried about your dad, not even wanting to think about how many bottles he has gone through. The last thing you wanted to do was cancel Toji because you had been looking forward to this appointment all week as well. Was it safe to invite him to your apartment already? Probably not. You didn’t know much about this man but you do know that this man gave you the best orgasm with his mouth. You send him back a message before heading out of the bathroom;

Y/N: Where would you like to meet? 

┅

Toji leans against the same hotel door from last week, eyelids heavy with alcohol and his body buzzing. The door opens and the same woman from last week is at the door, this time in a black dress and pearl earrings. She must have come back from some stupid rich people event, is what Toji thinks. Toji steps into the room and doesn’t waste time, he’s drunk. He kisses Jess and Jess’ hands immediately go to Toji’s pants, undoing the belt and zipper. Toji is so drunk that he doesn’t even realize Jess’ mouth is around his dick until he feels her teeth scraping his skin. Toji grunts, having to lean to the wall for balance. 

Toji doesn’t comprehend what’s happening, he hears Jess giggle, Toji moans from her tongue working around his hard length but his mind is fragmented. He feels Jess tug at his hands, pulling him towards the bed. When his knees hit the edge of the bed, he topples over, hitting softness. His face is engulfed in cold hotel bed sheets, Jess giggles again.

Toji hears her say, “You drank a lot, didn’t you?”

“Hmph,” Toji says against the bed, his voice muffled. 

“Are you drunk, silly?” Jess’ sultry voice reverberates against his ear. 

Again, Toji says into the bed, “Mmph…” 

“That’s okay,” Jess’ hands roam all over Toji’s body, and she pushes him so he is on his back. Toji knows he shouldn’t have shown up drunk here, that was a line he never crossed when he was with his clients in bed. But here he was, plastered drunk, incoherent. 

Toji feels Jess’ weight on top of him, he doesn’t know how she got up on his lap. He feels Jess put rubber over his hard length, he doesn’t even understand how he can be hard right now when sex is the last thing on his mind. Toji flinches and lets out a strained whine when he feels his cock enter Jess, he doesn’t remember inserting himself in her. In the next moments, it’s darkness for Toji, and when he gains some sort of consciousness, he’s reaching his climax. Jess falls over him, her hair over Toji’s face which he doesn’t like the sensation of against his skin. Toji’s mind flashes images of his wife and his son, a memory of him coming home, leaning over his son’s crib, and letting him wrap his fingers around his pointer finger… 

“See!” His wife beams at Toji, “I told you he would do it to you, too!” 

Toji leans in and kisses his wife on the lips, “I love you.”

His wife leans in for another kiss, this time it’s deeper, she pulls back with her forehead against his and whispers, “I love you, too, Toji.” 

“Shh,” Toji hears Jess say, but he doesn’t understand why she’s soothing him. She has his head against her chest, rubbing circles on his shoulders, “you did good for me, Fushiguro.” Toji’s body feels numb, it’s not until he’s tasting salt in his mouth that he realizes his cheeks are wet from his tears. 

┅

You lock the front door of your clinic and head over to your car, throwing your back into the backseat and driving to your dad’s house. Toji still hadn’t responded to you which made you nervous. You convinced yourself that you drove him away, that he got bored of you and all you two ultimately had so far was just a physical fling. Once you make it to the stop light, you burst into tears, your forehead against the steering wheel. You feel humiliated, stupid and small for getting your hopes high to see Toji tonight. You don’t want to think about how throughout the week you kept replaying your guys’ heated moments in your clinic over and over until you had to use your fingers on yourself to relieve the ache that pulsed between your legs. You would look at your massage table and be reminded of how Toji sat between your legs, eating you out with what seemed like genuine ardent. Sure, you’ve had sex with multiple men, multiple times, but none of it ever seemed like they genuinely cared for your pleasure. It was just an ego trip on both ends; you just wanted to convince yourself that you were cared for in those moments. 

The car honking behind you makes you look up, seeing that the light has turned green. You take your foot off the brake and continue driving to your dad’s apartment with tears blurring your vision. Once you make it to your dad’s place, you wipe your eyes and check yourself in the rearview mirror to make sure you didn’t just spend the past fifteen minutes crying your eyes out. You inhale shakily as you make your way up to your dad’s apartment, fumbling with your keys to find the right one to your dad’s apartment door.

Before you unlock the door, you knock, “It’s me, dad!” You call out, “I’m coming in, okay?” You wait a moment to see if there will be any response but nothing so you let yourself in. The living room and kitchen are empty, you set your keys on the kitchen counter and call out again, “Dad? Are you home?” You make your way to his bedroom where the door is open and you find your dad sprawled out on his bed in a starfish form. The room reeks of alcohol and you spot the multiple empty bottles surrounding him. 

You quietly approach him and see that he’s sleeping so you carefully gather all the glass bottles and throw them away. You go back to his room to tuck him in and see that he’s rubbing his eyes, leaning up on his elbows, and squinting at you.

“Y/N?” He groans.  

“It’s just me dad,” You reassure him, by his side as you try pulling up the blankets over him but in a blink of an eye, he’s shoving you away. 

“Get out!” He suddenly bellows, making you flinch.

“I just wanted to check up on you,” Your voice shakes and there’s already a fresh set of tears brimming your eyes. Your dad throws something at you but you’re quick and step to the side. It hits the wall instead and it shatters. You can’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks, you’re sobbing, “Dad, please stop it! You’re scaring me!” You go over to the shattered item and that’s when you realize that it was a picture frame; a picture of your mom. 

Your dad grabs you by the arm, making you cry out in pain, “Dad, let go of me!” 

“Get out of my house!” Your dad yells in your face, some of his spit landing on your cheek. You cower back, trying to get away from his grip but he only tightens his hold on you, making your fresh cuts from today feel like they’re being pressed against hot coals. 

You shriek at your dad, “LET GO OF ME!” You pull back and stumble back. You hold onto your arm that’s in pain and your dad glares at you with his nostrils flaring. “I’m just trying to take care of you!” You cry, “You need to accept that mom is already gone!” 

Your dad looks like a deer caught in headlights, he’s frozen, face pale. You don’t wait for his response, you walk around your dad, grab your keys and slam the door on your way out. By the time you get to your car, you feel something trickling down your hand. When you take a look, you see it; blood. 

┅

When Toji wakes up, he doesn't know where he is, what day it is and how he ended up here. The room is dimly lit, and he looks up at a ceiling that he doesn’t recognize. He feels someone next to him shift, making him instinctively push himself up on his elbows. His head is pounding, his mouth dry and the room is spinning. It’s then that he realizes who is sleeping next to him; Jess. Toji quietly and carefully gets out of bed, trying to locate his clothes. He’s in panic mode; sleeping next to Jess wasn’t part of the agenda. When Toji is about to slip his boxers on, he realizes there’s something around his penis. He reaches to touch it; a used condom. Toji takes it off and cleans himself with a dampened towel. He puts his clothes on and grabs his phone, the bright screen making his headache worse. It’s past midnight and there are some messages from you, making Toji’s heart sink;

Y/N: Where would you like to meet? 

Y/N: If you want, we can meet at the clinic. 

Y/N: Nevermind, let’s just reschedule for next week

Toji leaves the room, he doesn’t know where to go or what to do. He fucked up, getting drunk wasn’t part of his plan but here he was. He didn’t even want to call Shiu and tell him what happened because he didn’t want to hear from or see Shiu. He only wants to see and hear from you. 

Toji takes out a cigarette and lights it up once he’s outside the hotel, he takes out the keys that Shiu left him with when he dropped him off. He locates the car and dials your number once he’s inside. He’s sober now. He’s not expecting you to pick up, but to his surprise, you pick up on the fourth ring. 

Your voice croaks through the phone like you had been crying for hours, “Hello?”

“Miss L/N,” Toji greets you. 

“Toji?” There’s shuffling in the background, “Toji, why are you calling me so late?” 

Toji is blunt, “I wanted to know if you still wanted to meet up,” He couldn’t believe what he was saying, himself. 

“You want a massage past midnight? You’re okay with that?” You emphasized. 

Toji feels desperate now, he takes another drag of his cigarette, despite his nervousness his tone doesn’t display it, “I’d be an ass if I didn’t pay you your business’ worth.”

“If you’re okay with it, then yeah, you can come over right now. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.” 

Toji opens up his car window and flicks his cigarette out the window, “See you then.” 

┅

You showed up to your clinic with your eyes still red and wearing a long sleeve. Never would you show up past midnight at your clinic for a client under any circumstance. But this was Toji; a man you hadn’t known for long but you couldn’t deny the magnetic pull this man had on you. You set everything up while you waited for Toji to show up. The knock at your front door made you jump, you splashed cold water on your face before going over to open the door for Toji.

Toji looked exhausted but he still gave you his confident smile. You locked the door behind him and the two of you began getting ready. Toji slipped off his jacket and set it on one of the chairs, pulling his shirt over his head. You didn’t know whether it was the shitty day you had or whether you found yourself realizing how much you had missed him. 

You say, “Do you want me to grab the condoms?” 

Toji looks slightly surprised, his movements coming to a halt, halfway in the process of completely taking his shirt off. The shirt remains around his arms and he sets it on the same chair as his jacket. Toji’s green eyes bore into you, you can’t read the expression on his face. You’re leaning against the massage table, your hands behind your back with your fingers gripping the edge of the table. Toji silently walks up to you, caging you with his arms where his hands are sent on either side of you onto the table. He’s so tall that you have to crane your face up at him, the tips of your noses bump, his lips ghosting yours. The warmth of his body radiates against yours, you can smell him, and fuck, he always smells so good. You swear you catch a hint of cigarette smoke on him, too. 

His voice is low, close to a whisper as he says to you, catching you off guard, “Sorry about today, my pretty girl.”

Your eyes widen, “What do you mean?” You whisper back at him as if you two are trying to not let others hear you. 

“Daddy was late,” His calloused palm cups the side of your face, his gesture is soft, his features holding endearment.

You feel tears pooling in the corners of your eyes, “I thought you would cancel on me…” You admit in a trembling voice. 

Toji leans his forehead against yours, his thumb tracing the corner of your mouth, “No, princess,” He sighs, “shit came up today. I’m sorry.” 

Tears slip past your cheeks, “It’s okay,” You tell him wearily, “shit came up for me too.”

Toji leans in and kisses you softly on your lips, “You know that loveseat you have out in the lobby?”

You nod your head, “Yeah?”

“I want you to fuck me on that,” Toji’s words make you gasp, igniting heat between your legs and lower stomach. Toji’s other hand cups your clothed pussy, rubbing it. Your body instinctively arches towards him but he holds you back, your lower back coming in contact with the table. 

“I wonder,” He professes, his lips moving to your ear, you can feel his hot breath run down your neck, “how you look on top of me.” 

You let out a strained whine, you want to make him proud, you want to show him you can ride him beyond his dreams. Tojis teeth nibble at your earlobe, making you shudder, and his palm continues to rub at your clit. 

“But first,” Toji pulls back, making you want to protest from the space between you two. Toji’s hands run down your chest, and torso until they’re at the hem of your pants, “Let’s see how wet you are.” 

Heat blushes your face as his hands push down your pants until they’re at your knees. He’s on his knees, your bare pussy in his face. He looks up at you while his fingers go to your entrance, pushing two fingers inside. You squirm, hissing through clenched teeth from his fingers stretching you out. 

“Fuck,” He growls, eyebrows furrowing together, “you’re already this wet, kitten?” He glides his fingers in an up-and-down movement inside you at a painfully slow pace. He clicks his tongue and shakes his head, “What made you get this wet so fast, baby?” 

You’re speechless, your whole body is burning for him, it’s like he’s known your body for centuries. How the hell does he seem to know exactly how to touch you? You’re focused on the way his long fingers work inside you, rubbing your plush, swollen walls but you want more, you need more. 

“Hey,” He warns with a slap to your clit, making you jump, electrifying your body. It stings but oh fuck, it feels so good. “Focus,” He reminds you sternly, gliding his fingers out until only the tips of them are inside, and this time, you mewl;

“No!” You object with a pout, “Please keep them inside.”

“If you want them inside, then tell me what made you get wet so fast?” He aids with a smirk. 

You huff, “You,” You simply say. 

Toji clicks his tongue again, “No, not enough for daddy,” He takes his fingers out entirely and is about to put his fingers inside his mouth but your hand grabs his wrist, stopping him from doing so.

“The thought of your fat cock inside me,” You clarify, “the way you talk to me,” you continue, “I know that you’ll be the only person to give me the greatest sex of my life tonight.”

Toji looks up at you with hooded eyelids, he looks as if you’ve answered his prayers. He puts his fingers into his mouth, putting your fingers inside his mouth as well. He sucks on both of your guys’ fingers in his mouth, swirling his tongue around them, covering them in his saliva. 

He takes both of your guys’ fingers out of his mouth and attests mischievously, “You are so impatient, aren’t you?” 

You’ve never had this kind of dirty talk in the entirety of your sex life so far; it was new, it was exciting, and it surprised you. “Because that’s how desperate I am for you to fuck me,” You find yourself saying. 

Toji stands up, and inserts three fingers inside you now, rubbing your upper wall by going at an erratic speed. You have to grip onto his muscled biceps to hold yourself upright as his speed only gets faster. Your jaw slacks cry shamelessly falling from your lips. Your vision blurs, knees buckle at the way the tension in your lower stomach becomes tighter. Just when you think you’re going to become washed over with your high, Toji suddenly takes his fingers out, making you gape at him. 

“Nu-uh,” Toji consoles with a cocky look, “no complaints,” his fingers come to your lips, your mouth opening wide for him and you suck on his fingers, tasting yourself. His fingers tease the back of your mouth, making you slightly gag, but Toji pulls them out in time. You feel like you were being pulled back and forth, he was teasing you, and…it turned you on even more. 

You’re needy for him, so you pull him in for a kiss by hooking both of your arms around his neck. He reciprocates the kiss, deep and feverish. Your guy’s teeth clash, followed by tongues swirling around one another. You want more of him, so you suck on his tongue, earning a growl from him. His strong arms pick you up from underneath your kneecaps and you wrap your legs around his waist. Toji goes to sucking on your bottom lip, this time making you mewl from how good it feels. He walks you out of the massage room and into the lobby, taking a seat on the loveseat, never breaking the kiss. You two are back in the position the way it was at the club. Your fingers run through his scalp, fisting his hair. You are thankful that you had the curtains pulled over the main window, otherwise, anyone going by would get a full view of the way you two were about to fuck each other’s brains out. 

Your hands trail down Toji’s body, despite having touched him so many times, it still felt like the first time. His skin shifted from firmness to calloused whenever your hands went over his scars. One of his hands was in your hair while the other gripped a handful of your ass, squeezing it. Your hands finally reached his pants, working at his belt and undoing his zipper. 

Toji chuckles into the kiss, “Is that what you wanna do?” He says against your lips.

You look at him through your eyelashes, “I didn’t get to last time,” You bash at him. 

You shimmy down, getting on the floor so you’re on your knees. Toji spreads his legs wider for you, both of his hands going into your hair where his fingers lace between strands of your hair, moving it out of your face. You pull down his pants and Toji lifts his hips so that you can lower them down to his ankles. His toned thighs almost make you gasp, there are scars on his legs, too. Your hands go over his thighs, trying to memorize how they feel against your hands. He has scars on them…just like you. His boxers form a tent with his hard cock. You put your mouth over his hard cock against the fabric of his boxers and run your tongue over it, earning a deep growl from Toji. 

“Fuck,” He breathes out, “my good girl.” You look up at him, latching your mouth around his clothed cock and sucking. Toji hisses through clenched teeth, his grip tightening in your hair. “How long are you gonna tease me?” He asks with a smirk. 

You hum against his dick, smiling. Your fingers move up to the hem of his boxers and you pull them down, his hard cock springing out and falling against his pelvis. You press your thighs together to subdue the throbbing and wetness spreading between your folds. His tip is bright red with precum already leaking which you wrap your lips around and suck on it. Toji hisses, his hands going to your hair, holding it back for you. Your fingers wrap around his tip and you stick out your tongue, bringing it to his base and running it up until you reach his tip again. You open your mouth wide open and tap his hard cock against your tongue. 

“Aren’t you a pretty sight?” Toji comments with a smirk, his head cocked to the side. You let out a strained whine, placing him into your mouth and bobbing your head up and down. You hollow out your cheeks and suck on him, making Toji’s hips lurch up towards you, his hard cock hitting the back of your throat, gagging. 

“Fuck, choke on my cock like that again,” Toji states through clenched teeth, and you take him in deeper, making tears form at the corner of your eyes. “You want me to make you choke on daddy’s dick?”

You nod your head while he’s still in your mouth, glancing up at him with glossy eyes. Toji runs his thumb underneath the corner of your eye, wiping the tear before it can fall. He threads his other fingers through your hair and begins pushing your head up and down against his hardened, wet length with your saliva. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, tasting the saltiness of his precum, how big he is in your mouth, loving the choking sensation of his cock hitting the back of your throat. Your hands go to his thighs and you dig your nails into them, keeping yourself lodged that way. 

“Good girl,” Toji breathes, his voice shallow, “fuck, you look so good taking my cock with your mouth, I could cum like this.”

The sounds of your chokes are the main sounds throughout the room, with your spit running down your chin. Toji pulls your head back with your hair gripped in his hair, and you gasp for air. Toji swipes his thumb across your bottom lip, giving you a proud smile at the sight of how fucked out you already are. Toji cups your chin, making you stand up, bringing you close to his face where his lust-lidded eyes scan your face. 

“I want to see how you look on my cock,” He rasps, his nose bumping in with yours. His other hand is placed on your hip, his fingers tugging down at your pants, “I think you’ll look quite lovely.” He pulls down your pants, along with your underwear, holding your breath with your scars becoming exposed to him. His large, calloused hand moves down to the side of your thigh, his thumb over the top and running over one of your scars. 

Your breath hitches in your throat, his hand dancing across your thigh and over to between your legs. Both of your foreheads are pressed together, both of your erratic breaths fanning over each other's lips. His fingers spread the hood of your clit and rub the pad of his thumb against it, making you fall against him from the pleasure. 

“We need condoms,” He says against your lips, “where did you leave them?” He presses his thumb harder against your clit, making you mew out;

“In my purse…underneath the counter,” You pant, your hands ledged onto his shoulders, knuckles white from how tightly you’re gripping onto him. 

“When I get back,” Toji pulls back, almost making you cry out in exasperation, “I want you to take off everything.” He stands up and goes over to where your purse is placed. Your back faces him but you can feel his fiery gaze boring into your body. You’re nervous to get completely naked for Toji. You close your eyes and take off your top, your arms instinctively hugging your frame, looking down at your feet. Toji’s gentle touch on your shoulder blade, makes you jump, turning your head to the side so that your guys’ noses bump into one another. 

“Sorry,” You alert, his hand over your shoulder blade moves over to your collarbone, his fingers taking their time in getting to know more about your body. You look anywhere else but his eyes, his silence is making you nervous. Despite him having seen some of your scars, you can’t help but feel self-conscious about the scars being on full display for him. It’s then when you realize he has the packaged condom in between his teeth, your eyes then meeting his green ones. Strands of his black hair fall over his eyes, his hand now on your waist, rubbing it. 

You don’t know what it is, his gentleness, or his alluring aura, but you find yourself blurting out to him, “This is the first time I’m having sex completely naked.”

Toji’s eyes slightly widen in surprise, and says through the packaged condom through his teeth, “Really?”

Your face is burning — no, your entire body is. And his hand on your waist is moving behind to your lower back where he pushes the two of you together, for your chests to be against one another. 

“Yes, really,” You breathe out, your palms against his chest. He leans back and sits back on the couch, taking you with him. Your guys’ lips collide, catching the packaged condom between your teeth and pulling back. You go to ripping it open and putting it over his throbbing length. Toji watches you with half-lidded eyes, his hands on both sides of your breasts, his fingers skillfully playing with your nipples. 

You take him in your hands, rubbing his length against your clit, earning a moan from both of you. His eyes never leave yours, you move his length to your entrance, rubbing it against your wet slick. You nudge the head of his dick into your entrance, making him hiss through clenched teeth, his fingers pinching your nipples. Your back arches and you completely sit on him, sinking on his length and it stretches you out so wide that you let out a yelp of pleasure. 

Toji embraces you by wrapping his muscled arms around your back, your face falling into the crook of his neck. His lips are on the shell of your ear, you can feel his pulse underneath your lips. You kiss his pulse, the beat of his rapid heartbeat playing against your open mouth, your tongue lapping at the sensation of his life beating inside him. Your pussy slightly burns from how large he feels against you, the head of his cock nestled between your wet folds. Your hands tremble from how tightly you grip his biceps. 

“Fuck, Miss L/N,” He whispers against your ear, making you shiver, “you’re soaking for me, aren’t ya?” 

You meekly nod against his neck and pull back, his hands set onto your waist where he guides them to grind against him. You bite your bottom lip from the pleasure reverberating against your bones. You lift your hips up and then sit back onto him, which makes Toji smirk at your antics. You fall into a rhythm, hopping on his dick, the sound of your squelching pussy echoing throughout the clinic lobby. Toji’s fingers rub circles against your clit, his other hand cupping the side of your face. 

“Look at me,” He breathes out, and you do so, his thumb moving to your mouth where you open and he puts it in there. You suck on his thumb, “Good girl,” He praises you, “taking me so well.”

“Does it feel good?” You entice. 

Toji lifts his hips into you, which makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, he does it again, and this time your body shakes against his. He kisses you hard on the lips and when he pulls back, he tugs at your bottom lip before answering, “This is the best sex I’ve had my whole life,” He confesses, making you gasp into his mouth. His words set a whole set of fire to ablaze inside you, making you lean your body back with your hands placed on his knees and riding him that way. 

Toji’s hands hold onto your hips, keeping you steady, his head thrown back against the couch, and exclaims, “Holy fuck! Right there, yes, yes!” 

The sound of your guys’ skin slapping makes you feel like you’ve entered an erotic state of bliss. Both your pants and sounds of pleasure mingle together, your skin becoming flushed as your bodies move together. When your thighs begin shaking, Toji takes control, holding you flush against his body, his hands cupping your ass cheeks as he pushes his hips in and out of you at a rapid yet harmonious pace. At this point, you’re letting out the most sensual sounds of pleasure, practically crying at how your pussy walls flutter and take him in. Yes, you’ve had plenty of sex but this was touching God. Toji surprises you by giving you a loud spank on your ass, and you lunge toward him even more, kissing him erratically. 

Your teeth clash with his, another spank. You cry out into his mouth, he swallows all your whines and mewls. His hand snakes between your bodies and his fingers are back at rubbing circles on your clit. 

“You need to cum for me, m’kay?” He professes into your mouth, “I’m gonna make you cum, pretty girl.”

“Yes, please,” Your fingernails run down his chest, pawing at his skin. You notice some of his dark hair sticks to his forehead, his top lip curling up into a smirk as he catches you studying his features. You can’t help but lean in and place a kiss on his scar. He’s so beautiful, you think to yourself, and he feels beautiful. Your stomach coils on the inside with the heightened pleasure reaching its peak and before you know it, you’re cumming, shaking against Toji. You ride out your pleasure, his name falling from your lips like an enchanted prayer that’s sung throughout all night. You cum so hard that you’re seeing stars, and you feel Toji’s lips on yours, his tongue swirling around yours. 

You hear him sigh into your mouth, followed by him practically whining, “Gonna cum, Miss L/N…”

You kiss him harder, your tongue lapping at the back of his mouth, his arms tightening around your figure, feeling his length twitch before he lets loose. At once, the two of you collapse against one another, the room filled with each other's heavy breathing. Toji keeps his arms around you and surprises you when he places a chaste kiss on your temple, his hands rubbing up and down your back. When you two pull back, Toji kisses you softly on your lips, you feel the imprint of his scar. Your hands roam his body, feeling the way his skin rises slightly when it comes across another scar. His hands do the same for you, gently moving across your body, his fingers finding your fresh cuts from earlier today. There’s dry blood formed on them, Toji avoids touching them directly so he goes around them instead. 

Due to how tender his touch is, you find yourself crying into the kiss. Tears run down your cheeks, your bottom lip quivering against his. You’re scared this will make him pull back, but he only presses you harder against him, with his length softening up inside of you. You two pull from the kiss, foreheads against one another, and silently, Toji’s hands run down your arms. The touch makes you shudder, and you reciprocate your curiosity, your fingers tracing alongside a large scar that begins at his collarbone and runs diagonally across his chest. Your skin and his skin are coated with sweat, glistening underneath the lobby lights. 

A choked sob gets stuck in your throat, your trembling hand going over your mouth from embarrassment. Toji doesn’t say anything, he puts his hand over yours, his green eyes looking at you. You want to apologize for how emotional you’re being. Usually, you felt numbness after sex. Toji brings down his hand and presses a kiss over your hand that remains over your mouth. He tugs at your wrist, you allow it to move and he replaces it with his lips again. Why was he being so gentle with you? Usually, you would be flipped over and left to crawl to find your clothes that had been thrown on the floor. He then kisses the tip of your nose, your wet cheeks, and above your brow. 

“Let’s get home,” Toji says softly against your skin, “you doing okay?”

“Yeah,” You sniffle, wiping at your cheeks, raising your hips so he falls out of you. There’s a pause and then you ask, “Are you doing okay?”

Toji leans his head back and gives you a handsome smile, his thumb running down your cheek, “I’m good.” 

The two of you clean up, Toji dispensing the condom into the bathroom garbage bin. Toji hands you your clothes and you turn around to put them on despite just having him see your naked body underneath bright lights. When you turn back around, Toji is slipping his shirt over his head. The two of you move in comfort, and tranquility, you turn off the lights and put the supplies in the massage room. Toji had stepped out of the clinic when you’re stepping out yourself, followed by locking the front door. He’s leaning next to the door with his shoulder, his hands cupped around his mouth. You smell the smoke before you see the orange flame flicker. 

Toji slips the lighter into his pocket and exhales smoke through his nose, staring at you between strands of his hair. Both of you just stand there, looking at one another, your hands still on the doorknob. 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” You find yourself saying. 

He shrugs his shoulders, taking another drag, “Bad habit I’ve had for a long time,” He explains. 

You put the keys into your bag and clear your throat, “Um…thanks…” You can’t think of anything else to say; what you really want to say is; you just gave me the best sex I think I’ll ever have in my lifetime. 

Toji’s eyes don’t waver from you, making you flustered, “No need to thank me, doll,” The cigarette goes back between his lips. 

You tuck your hair behind your ear, looking to the side, “About what I said earlier…” Your voice trails off, your gaze hesitantly meeting his eyes. 

“Hmm?” He blows smoke through his mouth, catching a whiff of it. If it were anyone else, you’d be annoyed. But he made something so harmful look so majestic. It must be the post-sex making you think this way. 

You let out a nervous laugh, “Uh, never mind.” 

Toji insists, “Tell me.”

You wave your hand, looking everywhere but at him, “It was stupid that I said that…about having…um, you know…” you’re desperate for him to finish your thought but he stares at you with mischief in his smirk. You know that he is aware of what you’re implying, “About having sex completely naked for the first time,” You blurt, crossing your arms over your chest. You then add quietly, “It’s embarrassing, I know.”

Toji shakes his head, “Not at all. You’re sexy as fuck.”

His assertiveness makes your body erupt with starlight, “Because I’m young, right?”

Toji tilts his chin up, holding the cigarette between his fingers down by his hip, “Not because you’re young.”

“Am I the youngest you’ve had sex with?” You ask him. 

Toji flicks his cigarette and steps close to you, “Yes,” He answers, he’s close to you, you can smell the cigarette smoke on his breath but it doesn’t bother you. Even though you two had sex just a couple of minutes ago, him being close to you still makes you feel like you’re drinking heaven’s nectar for the first time. 

“Back there,” His voice is low, his gaze flickers down to your lips, “that wasn’t me fucking around.” 

“How many times have you used that line on women?” You note with a shaky voice. 

“You’re the first one,” He says, “I’ll see you next week, same time?”

“I’ll see you then…Toji.”

Toji’s lips brush against yours, “I can’t wait…Miss L/N.” 

[sky4cherry]

what do u think is chets initial reaction to bob being killed? and also how does he process that grief

(ALSO THOSE CHET HCS U POSTED I AM LIVING FOR THEM he deserves more recognition and content i love him so bad 💔)

actually going insane thinking about what the soc boys would do immediately after fleeing the scene (if anyone wants to ask me about brill also pls do because he’s my other blorbo)

chet baker is very aware of the type of things the gang warfare in tulsa brings, if we’re going by my hc that his dad is the chief of police

i feel like, because i see him as the baby of his family, he’s probably a little more sheltered from death than his siblings (esp bc his older brother is in the marines), but he’s definitely aware of it

in all honesty, he’s freaking the fuck out

he’s going home, making a beeline for the bathroom, and he’s throwing up, which his parents assume means he’s drunk, so his dad starts ripping into him

and then chet turns around and tells him that bob’s dead, which prompts the police going to find bob’s body at the fountain

i think all the soc boys are definitely going to struggle with realising that they 1. did not have the upper hand and 2. they have to figure out what to do without bob’s guidance, which leaves paul in charge

bro chet is not doing well because he’s almost disgusted that this is what it took for his dad to be a bit softer with him, because he’s having this really complex battle where he’s so glad he has his parents’ support, but he only has it because he’s a valuable witness, and he knows it

the whole week before the rumble is bad

he’s drinking a lot, picking fights with any greasers he sees, he honestly probably took his car and just drove laps and laps around tulsa crying until he broke down and ran his car off the road, and brill ends up finding him and taking him to his house for the night

in my head he is the silliest goober out of the socs, and i think that changes so much while he’s grieving that it makes everyone else’s grief even worse, because he’s usually the one cheering them up when they need it and now the roles are reversed

i feel like he grieves for a very long time, because even once the charges are dropped against johnny, his dad’s still walking around mentioning it offhandedly, already forgetting that the recent murder in town was one of chet’s closest friends

for my chet and cherry truthers, he is not seeing her for a while because he’s so unbelievably mortified with himself for being unable to control himself, especially when he knows she’s probably doing so much worse than he is

[zikadraws]

Alright there we go ! This new oc is based in DC Universe. Long post ahead. (Tdlr included at the end. Enjoy.)

This is Taylor Serils (last name up to debate), a tailor owning a small suit shop in the low quarters of Gotham. Uses he/they/it pronouns, is definitely neither cis nor straight but he really doesn't care. (Basically the incarnation of that one meme about the pronouns.)

He is autistic and the son of a tailor (from who he inherited the shop) and a chemist. He didn't get to know his father too much since his parents were separated, and he was killed in a villain incident when he was still a child ; but his mother never accepted the fact her son was autistic and that medication wouldn't change it so she tried to alter his brain chemistry herself by submitting him to experimental treatment.

Said treatment did predictably nothing against his autism, but got him really sick, and fucked up his neural network, so now he can not feel physical pain (sense of touch still operational though), and his feelings and reaction time are a bit deafened. She went to jail after he absent-mindedly ratted her out at school though (still in there btw, for child abuse and illegal practice of medicine), and he was taken in by his dad's side of the family, from who he picked up the tailoring ways which put him to calm, even though they were a bit put off by him, his disabilities and his... destructive stimming habits.

Taylor uses its body as stress/boredom relief, and so tears out his eyebrows, bites off his nails, and bites off his skin. But the thing is, since he can't feel pain, he takes that to the next level, to the point he has no eyebrows, no nails anymore, and his fingers are bitten almost to the bone. They had to bring him to the doctor about this. They tried everything to get him to stop tearing his hand's skin off, eventually resorting to long gloves. Barely sufficient though.

Despite all this, he contently followed a tailor apprenticeship at his family tailor shop with great application, and actually helped the family business thanks to the chemistry hobby he picked up from his mother (subconsciously wanted to please her somehow then found it relatively smooth, so kept investing themselves into chemistry, and then snuck her chemistry material at his new home), by treating the fabrics himself and making them last longer, which his family was thankful for, albeit taken off.

It's through some customer interactions that he found his calling in life. Some guys would complain to the little family shop about comfort and fit, using, verbatim, the expression "my suit should feel like a second skin". Which sparked something within Taylor.

He began experimenting with fabrics and bits of his own skin, until the fabric he ended up developing could blend in smoothly with his epiderm, as a greffe, and even serve the basic functions of skin, which is to touch, and even, eventually, through trial and error, grow.

He didn't even have vitiligo originally ! His skin turned like that due to his experiments on himself, and since it didn't bother him, he just let his skin like that. The spots have a tendency to shift in shapes from day to day.

He invented a fabric that he could just wrap around his damaged skin and it would just fill in the spot in less than a minute, and since his favourite colour is blue, he used this colour for the fabric. Thus why the blue fabric forearms. He never stopped experimenting in this new specific interest, and crafted really interesting suits with those, praised for how astonishingly comfortable they were. (Also made skin cultures, and obtained skin samples from... various sources.)

By this time, he was an adult and inherited the shop when yet another villain incident took the rest of his family, leaving him alone to handle the shop. It was pretty lonely, but he did end up making friends with a Gotham support group, and especially a young boy (that I'm calling Miles out of pure lack of imagination) and his big brother, runaways living together because of family issues.

His career took a turn when Miles' big brother was murdered by a cop for being black. The cop got away with it, but Miles who was understandably devastated mourned his lost brother at Taylor's, who decided to find out who was the bastard, and realised it was one of his current customers, who came for a suit for a special event.

...So Taylor got to work. And made him a suit. The cop found it very fitting. 25 cents tipped.

The day of the council party the cop was supposed to be a bodyguard for a big head, the suit he was wearing started getting... *very* tight. Skin tight, despite still being incredibly bendy. The cop was annoyed, and embarrassed because it was obvious, but didn't try to take it off... Until the end of the day, where he realized with horror that he just couldn't take it off, because the clothes had fused with his skin. He tried to bolt to Taylor's, who conveniently closed their shop for a week leave.

And then the fabric started getting progressively itchy. Really itchy. Extremely itchy. PAINFUL itchy. Like last stage hives, but even worse.

They couldn't do anything except give him painkillers at the hospital, because hormonal treatments worked for like five minutes before the tissue grew tolerance and came back stronger, and to remove the suit they would have had to remove his skin entirely, which he was starting to do on his own anyway because of how unbearable the pain and itchiness were. So they could do nothing but bind his hands and watch him slowly die of advanced gangrene, as Taylor's suit eventually hit its "necrosis" finale. A genuinely awful way to die.

Taylor did a real masterpiece of this suit, but he wasn't really good at covering his path. The police got him pretty easily, and found his back shop lab with all the skin works. They freaked their minds out, and Taylor was immediately sent to Arkham. He promised Miles, who was pretty much on his own otherwise, that he would be out as soon as possible, though.

Taylor wasn't going into Arkham unprepared. The suit wasn't the last project he got done before the cops got to him, after all.

(Taylor's last project allows him to bend its own skin, which he uses to pick the locks, break out a few other residents as a distraction, steal a few guards' skins, and break out of Arkham. His stay in there lasted 8 days tops.)

(This absolutely kickstarted his reputation amongst Arkham residents. Which may be good, because after getting arrested, he needs a new clientele. Guys gotta eat, yaknow.)

Batman is not on his case just yet, but he will be sooner rather than later.

[TDLR :]

This is my DC Comics OC, Taylor Serils ;

He is about 25 y/o ; he never went to high school ; he is a great formed tailor, and an entirely self-taught chemist ; he owns a tailor shop that happens to have a DIY chemical lab in the back area ; he (they/it) pronouns ; he is disabled (his pain receptors don't work) and autistic ; he has self-damaging coping mechanisms ; his parents were a tailor and a chemist, the first dead and the second in jail (for abusing him) ; his favourite colour is blue ; his specific interests revolve around the frontiers between skin tissues and fabrics, for better or for worse, all because he took an expression too literally that one time ; (he also likes animals, TV cartoons and to knit and crochet) ; he can craft clothes and fabrics that act as epiderm, that he uses to heal, or to steal his enemies' skin, that he grows to be able to bend ; he gave himself vitiligo after his own experiments ; his best friend is a teenager ; he cruelly murdered a cop once ; he got locked up at Arkham and broke out after a few days only ; his criminal case is legally stamped (literally btw) as "supervillain" ; he is morally neutral and has absolutely zero big-scale ambition whatsoever, but more and more villains (and, thus, heroes) are getting to whisper about him.

He Gets Subjected To Trouble.

And yes, this was a summary. I got a bit carried away. I hope it's all somewhat coherent (:

Honestly sounds like the kind of OC that doesn't necessarily needs to be in a specific universe, but any either way, I like the guy. And will likely post some about him. Hope you enjoy him as well ^^

If you got any questions about, or for, him, I'll be happy to respond. Thanks for reading ! 🤗

[so-long-soldier28]

very random warbler headcanons

✨ sebastian smythe ✨

- played lacrosse in france and was liked by his teammates, but wasn’t necessarily popular in school

- scandals bar habits came directly from nights in paris

- neither of his parents are homophobic, but he’s heard the horror stories and fears losing his relationship with them

- his maman knows about his late night habits, but doesn’t question him about them. she’s always known he was gay, but he never directly told her. she fears if she brings it up, he’ll clam up 

- still, she looks out for him in ways she can. teaches him how to be safe outside at night, shows him ways to defend himself if he ever has to. sneaks extra condoms in his nightstand drawer

- takes him a while, but eventually realizes his mom knows, but isn’t trying to stop or control him. awkward about it at first - doesn’t go out for some time and definitely doesn’t bring anyone home. but when their relationship doesn’t change, he goes back into his old ways. does make an effort to be safer (and even a bit more open about it), though, for his maman’s sake

- something about the smythes: love preparing for social gatherings; hate social gatherings. their house is always the place to be during the holidays bc it’s huge and gorgeous. mrs. smythe loves decorating for christmas, and all three of them love to cook and bake for it. but then throughout the night, they all just want their company to go home so they can sleep

- both parents taught sebastian to cook and bake, and he has a book of their favorite recipes that he pulls out during late nights at dalton

- charcuterie board connoisseur 🧀🍷

✨ nick duval ✨

- from michigan but at dalton on a scholarship (i read a fic where it was a soccer scholarship, and my brain adopted it)

- childhood best friends with jeff

- not good with directions. can’t really tell left and right apart. on road trips, he’s not the driver, nor the navigator, but a secret third thing (in the backseat, wondering where the nearest rest stop is)

✨ jeff sterling ✨

- second child of four siblings + has a twin sister

- also from michigan, but siblings are scattered all around states (has an older brother in florida, too)

- loves his family, but they have their issues. grateful for nick’s support throughout his life, otherwise he’d be pretty lost

- when nick got accepted to dalton, he begged his parents to go, since most of his siblings were separated anyway. they let him go mostly to have one less child to monitor 

✨ hunter clarington ✨

- doesn’t believe he can be liked, so he settles for being feared

- this works for coaching the warblers, but he quickly learns he’s not accepted nor respected by them

- left out on lima bean study dates and movie nights and other warbler group activities. hurts him, but he doesn’t show it

- canonically: acts out with steroids until the boys plant enough evidence that blaine and sam find out to get him expelled

- noncanonically: after one strenuous practice, he loses his cool and shares his insecurities. very slowly, the boys open up and forgive him, like the did to sebastian after the slushie. eventually, he’s brought into the group as a friend, instead of just being on the outside as a leader

✨ thad hardwood ✨

- always first to forgive

- giant goof that makes everyone smile, even on the worst days

- has a theory that kurt killed pavarotti for blaine’s attention. wes thinks he’s crazy for it

✨ trent nixon ✨

- public school bullying brought him to dalton

- lives closer to cincinnati, ohio. wishes he was in westerville, though. doesn’t feel safe in his hometown

- parents aren’t divorced, but they don’t love each other. very close with his mom, not at all with his dad. has to talk to his dad once a year, though, bc he pays for his schooling. this usually happens around christmas-time. unless his dad drinks too much the night before and forgets

- queer. every so often wonders if he’s bi, but has never been in a relationship with anyone so he doesn’t know. curious about girls, but at the same time, can’t imagine dating one. doesn’t feel a need to figure it out ~ he likes who he likes

- has the biggest crush on blaine. relates to him, wants to protect him, and thinks he’s absolutely adorable

- was the one to kick sebastian out of the group after the slushie. all were mad, but he shouted at him for almost an hour, and even pushed him once

- last to forgive sebastian, but did eventually. also apologized for pushing him. he’d never physically touched anyone like that before and he felt bad since it happened, but not bad enough to apologize right away

✨ david thompson ✨

- aroace

- best friends with wes. they went on a date once, but both decided they were better as friends

- the warblers call them their dads (no one knows about the secret date, but their parent-like protectiveness over the group brought on the gag)

✨ dalton academy ✨

- students are allowed to use the kitchen as long as they keep it clean and know basic safety rules

- there are three fire drills a year. one is during classes, one is at night, and the last is unannounced and random

- lots of begging resulted in the warblers all being put on the same floor. all freshman students and transfers are randomly placed, but going into their sophomore year (or next year up), they can request roommates

- the school’s no-bullying policy extends to having emergency buttons in all of the dorm rooms and hallways, in case anyone ever feels unsafe

[loveaetingkids]

For all Maya and the Three fans,here’s a new AU-Parent!Mictlan-made by yours truly, @cadaver-moss and I

(This universe is connected to Trevors-Bitter!Dads(Bone and Skull are basically daughters of divorced Vucub and Chivo) and my headcanon of Maya,Acat and Zatz being a trople).

Part 1,Part 2,Part 3

•Wishing to harness the power of his sacrifice to the greatest,Mictlan decides to keep Maya in the Underworld,where she would train under Lady Micte and be spied on in case she would rebel.The only task for the god of war was not to get attached to said child,which he ultimately failed.

•It all started out of precaution:after his wifes surprise,Mictlan isn’t so sure about goddesses loyalty,which resulted in him silently following her, looming over her whenever she looks after Maya.It was disgusting,horrifying experience for the tyrant,especially the diapers one,but at the same time it made him warm up to the kid-after all,despite the heat of lava and biting cold it was still alive and kicking.Eventually he would even want to hold her-much to the charging of Micte.Apparently the reassurance that “he won’t kill her yet” didn’t convince her.

•Through the years,Mictlan grows found of Maya-a skilled warrior who in terms of combat does not reach only him,a person she calls “father”,unaware of the path planned for her.Despite the illusion of a happy family he created for himself,Lord of gods doesn’t forget the true reason he let the kid live:therefore,he never addresses her as “his daughter”, and except for the duels they arrange "to test Maya's power",Mictlan doesn't spend any time with her.This results in Maya thinking of herself as too weak,not worthy of her fathers attention,despite Mictes reassurance and vain attempts to make her daughter think about something other than fighting and murder.

•Mictlan would avoid talking about his plan to sacrifice with pantheon,to keep him image up in front of the other gods.If not for Goddes of Death interferences,Maya wouldn’ve been picked on by them,due of her status as “leaders toy”.

•The only friends she has are Acat with Zatz,who despite having feelings for Maya,are also aware of Mictlans influence on her.Because of that,she can be bossy and treat them as somewhat expandable,for which she later apologizes.

•Meanwhile,in the Kindom of Teca,King and Queen were contemplating about the daughter they never had,and how they would’ve celebrated her quinceañera.The conversation was overheard by Lance, Dagger, and Shield,who upon discovering the existence of their little sister, went on a journey to the Divine Gates in order to  “save” Maya from the gods,which kidnapped her?Raised her?She’s half goddes???That’s confusing,but they’ll find a way to rescue their hermana!

•During the fight at the Gate(in which Maya was forbidden to participate but she sneaked up anyway),Teca brothers accused Mictlan of his want to use Mayas heart to become invincible.After hearing that,terrified demigodess momentarily distracts the pantheon and flees with three warriors,who claimed to protect her.

•Through their journey to Teca Kingdom,Maya gets to know her brothers,who are a bit put off by her blood lust but overall supportive,and starts to question whenever the mortals Mictlan always talked about really that pathetic? Upon meeting her supposed real  father,she acts suspicious,hostile even,until she spends some time with him and Queen Teca,from whom she gets to know her origin.While being in her rightful kindom,Maya learned some patience regarding the people she loves from Queen,similar to how the later got to keep her cool with triplets; King showed her that she can fight honorably without unnecessary bloodshed,and still love every second of it!

•However, the moment of peace was quickly disrupted by the pantheon of gods, who, at the behest of their Lord, went in search of Maya.In order to protect their newly found family member the triplets go to the battle with their father,from which they didn’t return alive.That way Maya lost the first humans she really cared about.

•Around the same time,Mictlan stays in his kindom,deeply conflicted: on one hand,he lost his ticket to an infinite power,on the other-someone who he considers as his kin probably thinks of him as a monster-which he is,don’t get him wrong-but it still hurts a little.He doesn’t dwell for long however,as he gets ambushed by Micte and Camazotz,who’ve been planning to overthrow him all this time.Their sympathizers,Cipactli, Cabrakan along with Vucub,were sent to stop Mictlans band from doing harm to Maya and humanity.All the while Zatz and Acat were entrusted with a task to help Maya kill God of War.

•Meanwhile,grieving demigod finds the true prophecy and tries to requit warriors from different kindoms so that they’ll stop Mictlan,only this  Maya does that first out of anger and need for revenge-for herself and her brothers-and later out of concern for human kind.

•The following events would occur in that order: Maya would lie to her team about destroying the Divine Gate while uniting each nation against their common enemy.The biggest difference would be her relationship with crew: at first,Princess makes it clear that she wants them as her fighting force, to which the Rooster Wizard loudly announces his displeasure while Picchu tries to keep an eye of the daughter of death. The first person who warmed up to her was Chimi,which absorbed every bit of information about Eagle Warriors mother.Rico and Picchu were more sceptic of their “leader”,but later witnessed ✨the power of friendship✨ and became besties.Aside from her team,Maya would be accompanied by Acat and Zatz,who were aiding her when needed.

•During their first fight with the gods,when Vucub is aiding Chimi,one of the Goddeses of Thievery is distracted by seeing her other father there,which was enough for Rico to strike her down,mistaking skeletons confusion for a want to hurt Skull Archer.When the other sibling sees this and rushes to her defense,she’s killed as well,this time by no other then Mictlan.

•Turns out that during his battle with his wife and Camazotz ,he started to think to himself-was that really worth it?These two are fighting for the sake of their children,one of which he saw growing up.Was this race for strength more important then a little warrior who wanted to make him proud?Upon that,God of War made his decision-he surrendered and proposed to Gods of Death and Bats to help look for Maya,in turn he stops his sympathisers from hurting her or her allies.Still unsure of Mictlans sudden change of heart,Micte and Camazotz took his deal on the condition that all this time they’re going to accompany him,that way they have a chance to stop him whenever he decides to come back to his old ways.

•After the explanation everyone agreed to send Mictlan to the most guarded room in the castle(even through the God of War opposed the idea,saying that “no castle can hold him” and “he needs to talk to Maya”,but after said demigod screamed at him to shut up or it would be her turn to eat hearts,he obliged),while Camazotz,Vucub,Cipactli and Cabrakan take turns to guard their self-made prison.After reuniting with Micte,Zatz and Acat(the young gods have helped through the battle),Maya gets to partake in the dinner scene,but instead of talking about defeating Mictlan,her three parents discuss how to stop Chivo,who upon seeing God of War celebrating the murder of his daughters,realizes the later won’t sacrifice the Eagle Warrior.As an act of revenge,he started gathering the remaining pantheon,claiming that if they’ll help him overthrow their present ruler,he will share demigods power with them.

•The day of the final battle came(most of the events play similar to canon,with addition of few characters).In desperation,Chivo started devouring the gods hearts in order to transform into his final form.During the fight Micte suggested to distract God of Dark Magic in order for Maya to strike him.Seeing how Chivo has already killed Vucub,Cipactli and Cabrakan,Mictlan decides to give his heart to Micte so that she can redirect Chivos attention from the demigod.Was it stupid and contradicted centuries old goal to world domination?Yes,but he can’t bear the thought of his little warrior losing a battle.After having his life sourse ripped out his chest,Mictlan apologizes to the Eagle Warrior for all the things she endured because of him,and how much he’s proud of her. May she live her life surrounded by people who are not ashamed to call her their daughter.

•While Micte and Camazotz fight the monster from the outside,Zatz and Acat hold the goats jaw open long enough for Maya to sneak inside.Witnessing the loves of her life being crushed between Chivos teeth made the Teca Princess all the more determined to end God of Dark Magic by striking him right in the heart.

•After reuniting with her living family and friends,Maya reincarnates into the sun,Zatz becomes the moon and Acat takes the role of a Guiding Star,similar to how she abandoned her unhealthy way of thinking and joined Maya.

(That’s it for the main plot of Parent!Mictlan!If you want to create based of this AU fell free to do so,just don’t forget to credit us)

[socially-awkward-skeleton]

8, 9, 18, 24, and 29 for kit and jacob?

thank you for the ask liz!! (sorry for my rambles)

8) What do they think about romantic love? Do they have baggage surrounding it? Do they idealize it? Is it an object of longing and wanting, or were they really not thinking about it until they started falling for the other character? What are their expectations like?

Kit lives in a world where romantic love has never been very kind to her. It's never lasted very long. It never felt very natural. She had one "true" love as a teenager and she's sure for a long time she will never find that again, especially as she expects her entire life to surround the military (until it doesn't). When she meets Jacob she's really not expecting to fall for a cult leader, especially when said guy has her imprisoned, brainwashed, fighting for her life and reminding her an awful lot of dear old dad, but alas...

Jacob is absolutely not interested in romance, he's got an army to train and lead and a militia to take care of (or at least Eli). He's still not really thinking about it even as he's eye-fucking her at the Grand View. His only expectation is for her to eventually kill him so he can be Joe's sacrifice, having a deranged female version of himself who's suddenly obsessed with him as much as he's becoming obsessed with her is just a great but weird happy accident.

9) What do they think about commitment? Is a long-term partnership the goal? Are they thinking about building a life with their partner, or are they focused on the present?

Kit's not thinking about commitment at first, for a long time there's still the whole "i'd kill him if i could, but instead i'll fuck him" going on. Eventually...after the starvation and the atrocities, she realizes "oh, hey, maybe I don't want to kill this guy and I'd prefer it if he also didn't get himself killed, so I guess he's mine". Then she becomes the obsessed gremlin who won't let anyone disrespect him and she sees him as the only one who she can be her "real" self with, so that must mean he's the perfect partner to spend the rest of her life with. Ultimately, her mind is focused on the present for a long time, trapped in the push and pull of the war against the Resistance, until the kids come around and Jacob's had a close call with death. then the future and building a life with him really starts to hit home for her.

Jacob is damn sure he's going to die before he ever sees the bunker, he has no expectations of the romance he has going with Kit to ever last. Is it the best way he could have imagined the last few months of his life going? Probably. He's not looking a gift horse in the mouth with this one, but he also doesn't see a future. So when Kit fights tooth and nail to keep him alive, when she brings home kids, when she talks about being in the bunker with him, his brain sort of short circuits because he doesn't see the point in it. There is no future for him. There's only the present.

18) They’re going through something incredibly difficult—perhaps they’re very sick, have lost a loved one, or have gone through a traumatic event. Do they ask for or accept support and care from their partner, or try to isolate themselves?

HAHAHAHA. God. Well pulling from supporting evidence from the fic, when isn't Kit going through a traumatic event? But in all seriousness, depending on the situation, it's usually Jacob who shoves himself into the middle of it because Kit is "his weapon and he doesn't want her breaking" (or so he tells himself, we all know it's really his protective streak). She won't specifically ask for help, usually preferring to handle it on her own, but she also won't push him away when he's there (something something hand on the leash, yadda yadda she secretly likes being cared for)

Jacob on the other hand goes into shut down mode. He is isolating, pushing her away, pushing everyone away. He's strong, he can handle it (toxic masculinity to the extreme). But Kit's going to ignore that and do what she can to get him to open up even if that means starting a fight just to get him to stop shutting her out.

24) What would their partner do that would really turn them on, perhaps unintentionally?

LMAO well again pulling from the fic...uh, acts of violence... you tortured someone for me? heart eyes. she's damper than a swamp. You just ate a man I served up on a silver platter? Girl, let me give you a rub down in the shower. Freaks, they are freaks.

Ultimately though, it's the utter devotion they show one another. That obsessive love does it for them both and I say good for them.

29) What compromises are they making in their relationship?

Kit compromises her own will and humanity for a long time. It's what she knows. Being a weapon, a tool, a dog on a leash being shown where to go and attack. It's easier than thinking for herself and living with the consequences and the weight on her conscience. She's happier being treated as an object because at least then maybe she won't be able to blame herself anymore for her actions, she can blame the person who was leading her.

Jacob finally compromises on his self-sacrificial ways. It takes a long time, and ultimately it comes from the fact that he refuses to let Kit die as the bombs drop (spoilers for that big ending) but despite the future he doesn't see happening for himself, he winds up in that bunker, raising a family, and making the best of whatever New Eden might end up being.

[hussyknee]

To presage: this might sound like I'm blaming victims of domestic abuse, but I'm not. I'm just a bit triggered and venting my feelings which I know are neither fair nor reasonable. Also just sad and frustrated and bitter.

There's a post on r/relationship-advice that's blowing up today, where the OP's husband had attacked her so violently he's given her a concussion and skull fracture, and then assaulted her when she went to get her stuff from the house with a friend and ended up ripping the door handle off their car until she finally had to return with a police escort. But he's convinced her he's sorry and will kill himself if she leaves so now she's back living with him while lying to her friends and family that he's left. Redditors found her post history where she's left posts and comments documenting a trail of escalation where he's repeatedly strangled her and thrown her to the ground, with a post eight months ago saying she can't take the violence anymore but wonders whether he's right and it's all her fault. This man has a daughter from an ex who has also had him arrested for domestic violence when they were together.

They're both twenty-five, they've been married three years. She's on the spectrum and an aspiring actress, but currently has a very well-paying job that seems to be paying for everything, including her step daughter's child support.

It's just such a horrifically typical case of intimate partner violence. Even the violence is banal in its horror and horrifying in its banality. Intellectually I know this kid (twenty-five is a kid to me, I was a fucking idiot at 25, why the fuck do people get married before 30) has been psychologically broken down and conditioned to distrust all her self-preservation instincts and reason, but. I still don't understand. My own Dad wasn't quite this physically violent and far from a complete useless moocher and I still have trouble forgiving Mum for not taking us and leaving, especially when Mum made more money than he did. The abuse I suffered in my own marriage was neglect and financial abuse by a generally laidback, garden variety loser and nothing so explicit and violent. Not to say it was less damaging because my body broke down working myself to death trying to earn some basic decency from that asshole, but he wasn't your classic Abuser™ and the situation was harder to grasp. This case is just straight out of the DV handbook.

Like with Mum, I think I'm angry because she can leave if she wants. Her family and friends hate him and want to support getting her out, she's financially comfortable on her own, she's young and attractive and healthy (apart from the injuries so far). I've never had those conditions in my life. Always too disabled to take care of myself, having to depend on abusers to survive, hating myself for not being able to leave. Everyone around me convinced my abusers were the best people and I was being reactive and ill-tempered. Feels like a new low to be jealous of a poor kid that's going to be killed or maimed for life soon, since Reddit doesn't seem to able to get through to her. But. Why the fuck do women like this stay?? Literally everyone in her life is telling her to get out and she's still sat on her ass saying "he treats her like royalty" mostly, It's only the pesky 20% of the time he strangles her and gives her skull fractures.

[statticscribbles]

Howl Hurt

🎃 Sweet Pea/Reader; Werewolf AU

The Serpents were a pack. Everyone knew that. What most people didn’t know is there were smaller sub-packs within that. Jughead was still trying to fight Toni to be the Alpha, but everytime he went to challenge her; he ended up on the ground; still a beta.

While Jughead hated being a Beta you were more than happy to be one. You were dating Sweet Pea who was an Alpha; one of the sub-packs within the Serpents; it wasn’t as big as the sub-pack Toni had; since she was in charge of the older Serpents who weren’t in FP’s main pack.

There had been reports of a hunter from Greendale coming too close into the Serpent’s territory. Normally there were issues with the Northsiders trying to scare or attack pack members but it never went as far as hunting; they knew when to leave the werewolves alone. That or they didn’t know how valuable it would be to certain people to kill a werewolf.

Greendale knew; they had so much supernatural it was overflowing into Riverdale; or at least that was the rumor of how werewolves first came to Riverdale. 

The hunter was out; Toni and Jughead had been fighting again’ you’d been dedicated as messenger between them. They just had to pick the opposite ends of the Southside. Jughead was practically on the Northside at this point which was a whole other issue that Toni never brought up; she knew it would solidify his place as beta of the pack; or worse; his dad kicking him out.

It was easier to stay in your wolf form; it made travel faster; it made it safer Of course Jughead invited you in, Fangs was there so it was technically a meeting so you’re still human when you leave.

You’re still human when the hunter attacks. You shift fast; but not fast enough before you can feel the burning of a silver knife. It catches your shoulder and you realize this isn’t a hunter; well not a full fledged one. An apprentice making his first kill to become an official hunter; he was going to kill you, you realize.

You dodge the next knife strike; but can hear the snap when a trap closes over your ankle; it’s not broken; just sprained. But the trap is doing its job; keeping you stuck in the place. You’re confused; normally the hunters just kill werewolves. He’s unloading something. A cage, your stomach sinks; you wonder if he’s been told to bring you in alive; to kill you on Greendale's land so they can see; so he has proof he did it himself.

The cage snaps into place; and so do Sweet Pea’s teeth around the hunters leg. He screams; and Sweet Pea shoves him to the ground, growling and dragging his claws down the hunters front. You know Sweet Pea will make this hurt. You do your best to look away when the hunter starts screaming.

You can feel the cage lifting and you grimace as you can feel Sweet Pea’s hands prying into the trap. It doesn’t budge.

“We’ll have to go to the rest of the pack or Curdle for that to be removed; can you walk at all?” You’re not sure why he asks; but you find you can put weight on your ankle; just that the trap is too heavy for you to lift it.

“It’s fine I can carry you no problem.” He laughs when you squeak as he picks you up; you clearly weigh nothing to him even with the trap.

Sweet Pea doesn’t say much while carrying you, he doesn't say much when he brings you to Dr. Curdle to remove the trap from your ankle.

It’s only when it’s off and you’re back in the trailer does he wrap his arms around you, and mostly through sobs just repeats.

“I love you.” Over and over until you’re pretty sure he’s not even saying the words anymore and you’re also not sure if you’re dreaming he’s saying it or he actually is because you wake up in the middle of the night his arms wrapped around you.

Support My Writing?

[dykelawlight]

How would a female light, L, and a male misa, sayu, takada, hall, and yuri be in your opinion?

I've talked about female Light and L at LENGTHHH on this blog because they're my Brand™; I think most recently I answered a similar ask here a couple months ago!

That being said, let's discuss the girls as boys. I'm not a big F→M genderswapper most of the time bc I think male characters already hog the majority of pretty much every fandom's attention and I hate to scratch the few female characters we have; however, I love the concept of this thought exercise, so I'm down to play.

Misa

If Light is female she is fucking furious that the second Kira is a GUY, first of all, and I think there's a strong gendered dynamic between Light's controlled, highly thought-out kills and Misa's random acts of violence. She's like OF COURSE this RANDOM DUDE is BLOWING UP MY SPOT WITHOUT THINKING. Furious.

That part aside I think Misa is largely the same except he gets treated more seriously. He also probably catches a little bit of joking homophobia even though he's not gay just because he is still a little on the effeminate side and interested in like male gothic lolita stuff. When he and Light start dating people think they oddly make sense because she's a masculine "straight woman" and he's a feminine straight guy. M!Misa thinks it's true love and talks a lot to Light about marrying her and settling down and having a family until Light tells him to cut the shit or she'll dump him. He's still an idol and he's branded as being kind of #forthegirls but he privately kind of disdains his female fanbase (though he'd never admit this) after Kira hits the scene just because none of them measure up to Light in his eyes. He thinks L is cute and has offered multiple times to teach her about makeup and stuff (he is an expert; he's never offered this to Light because Light is Naturally Perfect™) and L thinks he's kind of inherently a hilarious little person.

Sayu

Sayu gets babied simultaneously more and less as a guy than she does in canon. He's not expected to help cook or do housework but his parents are annoyed that Light helps him with his homework constantly and that he's thoroughly academically outdone by his big sister. They're frequently on his ass about eventually getting a job and supporting a family someday and putting EFFORT into his schoolwork and he's like WHEN AM I GOING TO APPLY THE QUADRATIC FORMULA IN MY DAILY LIFE. Most people expect him to become a cop like his dad but I don't think his family actually does; they've all come to grips with the fact that that's Light's domain and Sayu's not quite cut out for it. I think he's Sachiko's favorite and Light is Soichiro's.

After Mello kidnaps him I think things are much the same. He's unable to hide the fact that he's undergone traumatic shock and has a nervous breakdown that results in Sachiko caring for him for the rest of her life. I think college was a time when he had really started to flourish socially and academically and having him completely collapse after that is hard for Sachiko to cope with.

Takada

Frankly I think everything about Takada would be almost exactly the same but her kidnapping and murder would be less fucking nuts. Like we're not stripping a man naked and wrapping him in a sheet to cover himself. Otherwise everything is played pretty much exactly the same.

I'll be honest and say I don't know enough about Halle and Yuri (especially Yuri, whose appearance is very brief!) to have a lot to say about either of them as dudes. I think they'd be very similar to the way they canonically are bc there's not much there to change.