#like i can kind of see how u got there but at the same time…. no
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mokutone · 2 years ago
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i wanted to see what a piece would look like if i finished it in my three main mediums, pencil, ink, and watercolor (+colored pencils) >:*)
#my art#naruto#yamato#yamato tenzo#tenzō#kakashi#kakayama#image desc in alt text#okay now to talk shop. SO. i did these in the order theyre presented#which means that the pencil was done first#and by the time i got to the watercolor id drawn this same picture quite a few times#so if the quality seems to improve thats more than likely a matter of repetition and the benefit of past foresight or whatever#like yamatos shin is too small in the first picture.#and i noticeably lengthened it in following pictures. i also shortened kakashis thigh a little bit#yamatos torso looks really long but thats partially because he's slid back a little bit—his flack jacket is up high and you can see#it gapping at his shoulder#but ultimately that doesnt make the anatomical weirdness completely forgiveable so if i drew this again id do it differently probably#THAT SAID IM STILL SOOOO HAPPY WITH HOW THESE TURNED OUT#drawing the same picture over and over and over again? kind of great actually. i recommend it.#if you want to try doing this and you dont have a lightbox (u dont rlly need one) just like. take one drawing you like#and a blank sheet of paper#and tape it to a window thats getting a LOT of light#and then trace ur old drawing's bare bones (the forms. u know)#and then once you have that down. draw on top of it. or use new materials#it allows you to preserve ur previous drawing also which is great#once i was doing a commission and i realized i got the room i was drawing the characters in backwards#so i just. turned the paper around. put it against the morning window. and traced the now-mirrored image onto a new sheet of paper.#saved SO MUCH TIME LMFAO#the paper on the last picture is different and more yellow in tone so thats why the color is weird there ajxjskhfjahx#anyway happy testostone tuesday to all who celebrate 💚 love you
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puppyeared · 9 months ago
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i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim
#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it#its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me#but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy#hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked#its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags#and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple#its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!!#and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!!#but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is#fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates#but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right'#fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on#yapping
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bunnyboy-juice · 18 days ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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taraxacum-vulpes · 2 months ago
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why is everyone pretending like cyberpunk edgerunners is good. the writing is so bad i hate it
#i'm rewatching it for the third time 😋#i remember seeing a post i think from demilypyro abt how 2077 was a shitty game that everyone forgot how bad it was because of the anime#and the anime is terrible#all of the reviews online call the ending sad but it's literally just 🧍‍♂️ okay so. big whoop.#which would've been great for like to explore the futility of doing jack shit in this world bc it can be taken from you like that#they did a good job of this in the first 6 episodes before the timeskip#but the timeskip ruins everything#and u have to balance how unsatisfying that kind of thing is w the reality of that's just how it is#but NO#it's SAD because EVERYONE DIED#we didn't get a chance to slow down with the characters and get an update post timeskip#and the timeskip negates everything interesting about lucy (my fave 4evr)#and it changes her from a strong independent character that's scary good at her job because she was a lab baby and trained since birth and#an archetype of character i like in cyberpunk (a character that looks sexy without sexualising themself or getting sexualized by others)#(and in context most people wear something similarly revealing regardless of gender or presentation and modesty is the outlier)#wait i take that back she does flirt with david in her introduction scene. but i think it was done tastefully to show that she's confident#in herself and her abilities. and not in like an i'm hot do what i want way. we see her in the same episode being genuine and vulnerable#on multiple occasions. and then it reveals she was just buying time for her group to ambush him#she's a really interesting and cool character guys i swear#but the timeskip takes that and turns her into a stay at home expecting mother damsel in distress wanting to settle down and start a family#and the domesticity is so disturbing bc its like. i guess she wants to leave the edgerunner life behind to live on the moon.#BUT THAT'S SO MUCH DIFFERENT THAN WHAT THEY DID HERE#she doesn't pass the bechdel test anymore suddenly. who is she#they mischaracterised my blorbo so bad#it's like their writing budget got slashed mid show.
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bmpmp3 · 8 months ago
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when people complain about getting like, a 98% grade on something because it was "so close to perfect" its like. i understand what you're saying on a technical level. but that is a line of thought so far away from my experiences and ways of thinking that i do feel like im from another planet. 100% isnt even a real number to me
#i kinda understand when its something like a multiple choice test or something where there is an objective answer#it might feel like u got so close but just missed one#again still a bit alien to me because my scholarly performance is mysterious and anything over 70 is great to me#but i mean ive had a 98 before once in a math test. i did get exactly 1 bit of 1 question wrong#but i didnt really care that it was one off from perfect i was too busy being happy because that was the highest mark id ever received#and the previous math test i had taken got a 53% . grade 11 was a wild time for me in math class GHJKSHFKds#anyway i kinda see where ur coming from with stuff with right or wrong answers like that#but i sometimes get friends in class complain that they got a 95 or something on an art assignment#because they think they got docked 5 points for one or two little things#but i dunno. thats not really how fine arts departments in university tend to grade things#you dont start at 100 and get docked marks for things you got wrong. i dont think ive ever seen a 100% on something like that#tbh the numbers are a little arbitrary i find. i do prefer to try to get em higher because that helps with grants and stuff#but the numbers dont mean all that much in fine arts or in art history (my two majors) a 75 and a 95 can function the same depending on lik#weighting and context and feedback and whatever. i dunno its a wild world out there#it might just be the perspective of someone who did really goodbad in school. (GoodBad (tm) its when ur good but also kinda bad at school!)#compared to someone who got a lot of perfects in mandatory schooling. i sympathise i really do that kind of pressure sounds insane#but while i sympathize i cant really empathize as much unfortunately with this specifically orz its a world very far outside my purview!#100%s arent real to me so they never cross my mind to be worried about LOL
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phagodyke · 5 months ago
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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divinetheatre · 1 year ago
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what dyou think hannibal would label himself as? if at all?
hannibal doesn’t really give much credence to the conventions of modern society. labels can be both too all encompassing and too confining and at times not very useful at all. i def think he views sexuality and gender as a fluid thing, just not in the political way that young people nowadays do. he’s a hedonist and a connoisseur of all things beautiful and pleasurable. he’s most def a connoisseur of the human body. i just don’t think he would lower himself to one thing or another. that being said, he’s still a person that lives within the influence of society, and the views on gender and sexuality when he was a young man are not the same as they are now which is what i meant when i reblogged that post. like i said, he was coming into his own in florence in the 80s. (if want to understand the implications of that just do a bit of research on lgbt history and lgbt life in places like paris and florence, etc). for the sake of relating to others and moving through the world, i think he would call himself bisexual at best. but again, i don’t think he puts much stock in labels. words are generally inadequate to describe personal, intangible desires and experiences.
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year ago
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it’s ✨okay✨, right~?
#s o rry rant incoming im just. re a l l y crabby after working for 8.5 consecutive hours with no proper break okie~? </3#ayEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THE ADMINS AT MY WORKPLACE CAN GO K I C K R O C K S#their time management is somehow worse than mine and i suck balls at it?????? SJCFJFFHDHHD I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE BETTER AT YOUR JOBS MANSSSSS#the!!!!! admins!!!!!! sent in over a hundred samples without any info sheets and stuff so the morning shift literally couldn’t get started!!#doing the morning shift’s part of the job was. annoying. to say the least. especially when said work could’ve actually been done (ʘ‿ʘ)#dammit workplace admins you had one job </3#and n o it’s not to send in the sample info sheet things at the same time as the pm shift’s reporting time </3#and as if that weren’t enough.. the!!!! admin!!!! refused to go home in the evening?????? and sent in like 80 samples at like 8.30pm??????#and that’s not counting the samples that were yeeted in at 5pm </3 truly sadge#and o f c o u r s e we haaaaaaaad to be short-staffed today lmfao. the two workstations life compels me to lay down on the floor and c r y .#but bc i’m just ✨too great✨ at my job you see (lies) i finished my stuff way too early and had to do other extra tests too s o b s#and that included a test that i don’t fully know how to do (sadge)#well. at least that test involved the use of a microscope. thank you past me for attaining magic skills with microscope zooming and stuff#seriously. thank you past me. i can almost forgive you for choosing to enter the f r e a k i n g ✨s c i e n c e✨ industry of all things#but hmmmmmmm im amazed that i actually managed to finish everything across those two stations. am i too good at my job or ✨w h a t✨ (lies)#but man. m a n. none of this even gets into my secret beef with the data entry admin.#she can’t spell for her life. it s e r i o u s l y grinds my gears whenever i see her spell the word ‘content’ as ‘contant’.#but no. her spelling got on a w h o l e new level of questionable when she spelled the word ‘crackle’ as… ‘cracker’. like??? how????????#and she told me to ask the senior analysts if it was possible to retrieve the results for a test that we’d write the results for ✨by hand✨#from some kind of system????? like i was just so!!!!! baffled!!!! that she couldn’t understand that there was no system to check????#though. hm. i guess saying that i have ✨secret✨ beef with that admin would be an understatement. i think none of the others like her either#but! i do have secret beef with the janitor bc he alwayyys magically appears behind me whenever i’m doing something important/holding acids#well! at least we don’t cross paths when i’m working the pm shift. the janitor dude was spared from my presence for the week lmao#hfhfhfhhfhfhfhffffffff well. m. i’m sorry if you read all that. i’ll be more normal tomorrow i swear!!!! (blatant lies)#i feel like tling something ✨t o x i c✨ to match how im feeling thoughhh… hm. maybe the p a r a s ite chapter from the d*27m annequin anth…?#been thinking about that song lately ngl.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.#oh wellssssss at least i can try to enjoy what’s left of my long weekend lmaooo goodnighttttt#inedible blubbering
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tortademaracuya · 2 years ago
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Having to enter my own drive reminded me of the agonies (people stealing my stuff and none of my professors giving a shit) but it also brought me the wonders :) (finding a storyboard for another class I didnt remember doing and how much I liked the character I made for it)
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inkats · 2 months ago
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the best place to take nap ? lecture hall.
#sneepiest boy in the world once I’m in here.#even if it’s interesting even if I’ve slept well I cannot keep my eyes open…#I’ve never gotten this close to sleeping in class before….#Also I was thinking again about how I thought I’d make a bunch of nerdy friends and instead#I ended up around the few ppl in really difficult to get into uni who are not nerdy#and then I started thinking about how I ended up in the fandomy spaces in the first place 💭💭#and I really think it was just there was nowhere irl I would get social interaction +fandom ppl are niceys#it’s a good distraction it’s something to do but I never got into things the same way so I still felt a little othered yknow…#So maybe it makes sense 💭💭 im out in the world and I don’t naturally gravitate to fan -y spaces. I’m not a good stan.#I became one out of necessity 💭💭#Do u guys like my mile long diary tags bc I have arthritis maybe and writing on paper a diary sounds bad#Also first time anyone believes my hand pain. I really like this guy he’s so niceys to me ^_^#his emotional drunk impression is just me in my head always I have to be. Normal. About this.#I really am just rambling it’s fun to ramble ^_^ I have lots of thoughts I can only get out in Tumblr tags I guess#a cleansing… my daily Tumblr diary post…#I need to get new shampoo the water here sucks my hair is sticky……#It would be really fucked if anyone found my Tumblr this is like in heat waves where dream had his kind of crazy diary of obsession#if they found this it would be like the sending of the texts..#terrible similie but it’s true.#well they’ll never see this though so it’s cool ^_^#Ok that’s all 4 now c u nxt time
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hangryyeena · 6 months ago
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:)
#// vent#// personal#i always believe that my life just progressively gets worse with each passing birthday and i'm right every time#well it wasn't always like this#it was the reverse but after a long time of the opposite happening i just got so fucking tired#me saying anything in this post is fucking useless but i'm saying it anyways#but..... i'm tired of placing myself around people that make me feel like shit and i'm putting my foot down#and don't mean in a 'they go out of their way to treat me like crap' kind of way#i mean i feel like i don't matter around them or i feel like others are worth more than me to them#i feel like those corny posts where someone is standing alone while they watch other people be happy without any concern for you#and i feel like people only come to me when they want something from me like content or some other self-fulfilling thing#i am like..... really tired of begging people to treat me as an equal (especially as an artist) or at least be sympathetic to my problems#and i know all of this can be used against me but i don't care at this point#i'm tired of seeing red every time someone gets all of things i have to beg for-#-like basic respect or just someone saying something nice to me or my art#it hurts and i don't like having to throw any my kindness or generosity because i know i will never be treated the same way#like why do i have to beg for art reblogs or compliments when everyone else can get them without looking like a pathetic attention seeker#i don't understand what is inherently wrong with me that makes people go 'ew i don't like her or her art'#i've came up with all sorts of reasonings and i can't even decisively say what it is#i'm so tired#even after this nothing will change and u can guarantee this post will make it get worse#but this is just how i feel and i believe i have the right to vent without it being weaponized against me#i fear retaliation from people for venting and i shouldn't have to#long post#extremely long post#feel free to mute the '// vent' tag if you really don't want to hear my yapping
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oh-no-its-bird · 2 months ago
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Really stupid au where when they were younger, Kakashi and Obito shared an accidental kiss a lot like Sasuke and Naruto. (Kakashi commits to his mask shortly after but will never not insist it's unrelated)
Years later and Kakashi, trying to cheer up Naruto and Sasuke ab their own embaressing accidental first kiss, shares his own story
Then, years later when Obito reveals himself on the battlefield, instead of going "woah, another Uchiha!?" when he hears his name, Naruto can't help but point and shout OH MY GOD UR THE GUY WHO KISSED SENSEI!!!!!!!!
Instant dead silence. (Obito wants to die)
Sakura, who never heard the story ab how it was a one time accidental kiss: "omg... sensei's childhood boyfriend went evil on him... this is so fucked up"
Obito is VIOLENTLY thrown off by this turn of events (and also hasn't actually thought ab it in years oh my god that did happen didn't it)
Kakashi, seeing how badly it threw him off, and also the kind of person who plays hard into throwing people off and generally fucking w them to gain an edge, seeing Sakura mumbling ab lovers to enemies and just kinda goes "Yeah Obito I can't believe you'd do this to me I thought we had smthn special."
"Yeah a rivalry????"
"So I was only ever a way for u to get stronger,, figures u were using me,,,"
[Confused Obito car crash noises]
Sakura yells smthn ab him being a deadbeat and how Kakashi can do so much better and Naruto is instantly shouting in agreement as Sasuke stands there like "hn." Which is basically the same thing for him
Kakashi just starts straight up lying actually
"What about all those picnics we went on... watching the sun set over konoha..."
"Are you talking about when Minato said we weren't allowed to come back inside till we stopped arguing and ate on opposite ends of the roof bc we couldn't even look at eachother without yelling???"
"It was so romantic."
Obito, starting to actually doubt himself, "was that a date????"
(It was not.)
"You died in my arms..."
"I died under a rock"
"We literally got eye married" (not a thing, he just made this up 3 seconds ago)
"We got WHAT" (no one can prove him wrong tho bc no surviving Uchiha knows that much ab their clans marriage traditions)
"Oh my god sensei's husband is a deadbeat" - sakura, horrified (and maybe a little delighted)
"Figures." -Sasuke, who's been in proximity w Obito for some time now and absoloutley believes every word ab this topic Kakashi is saying
"Woah. This is almost as bad as the fact he murdered my parents when I was a baby dattebayo" - Naruto who's priorities are NOT what they should be
"Ok. I wouldn't go that far." - Sasuke, who's priorities are also fucked but not THAT fucked, oh my god Naruto
"No, no he's right. We should kill him even harder for this" - Sakura, who doesn't actually agree but wants an excuse for more juicy sensei love drama (and also wants to see Obito beaten to death anyways)
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junkissed · 4 months ago
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bad neighbor
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member — neighbor!dino x f reader genre — smut, college au word count— 6.3k synopsis — pros of living next door to a frat house: your neighbor is really really hot. cons of living next door to a frat house: probably everything else. smut warnings — descriptions of female anatomy, fingering, lots of making out, facial (cum on face), semi public sex (hooking up at a party) content warnings — slightly introverted!reader, chan is in college but reader isn't: can be interpreted as older!reader but that's up to you tbh, mentions of weed & alcohol (chan & reader are both sober), cameos from cheol & hoshi hehe notes — thanks again to @onlymingyus for helping me get my brain in order <3 please reblog or send an ask if you enjoyed reading!! it means a lot to me and it helps me continue writing :) i hope you like this fic!
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it's still early in the evening when the music starts.
the sound of voices and cars honking outside your house draws your attention away from the latest episode of your favorite new show. you get up and walk over to the window, peeking out through the curtain at the bright headlights beaming at you.
with a sigh you push the curtain closed again, heading into the kitchen to make yourself a cup of tea. if tonight is like any of the other nights, then it'll be a long time before you fall asleep. hopefully the chamomile will help—is what you tell yourself every time. and every time, it doesn't help.
living in the same neighborhood as the frat houses from the nearby state university was certainly a choice, but the rent in the area was the cheapest in town and you didn't have many options left. with the fall semester coming up fast, every other apartment complex and condo in the city was already rented out. after moving in, you'd quickly discovered why the rent was so cheap: not because the house was in bad condition or because the location was inconvenient, but because of the parties. nearly every fucking night.
you might actually be impressed at how these college kids find the energy to party so often, if you weren’t so fed up with them. every friday and saturday night, and even sometimes during the week, at least one house on your block was throwing some kind of wild party.
by now you'd seen it all: drunk girls throwing up on your lawn, shirtless guys doing keg stands in the middle of the cul-de-sac, people making out literally everywhere. and yes, including that one time on halloween when you found two playboy bunnies having sex with spider-man in your backyard. how they got back there was anybody's guess, but from then on you’d started double and triple checking that your back gate was locked every night. 
tonight, it seemed that the festivities were being hosted at the house across the street. and the man behind it all? none other than lee chan, president of the fraternity and owner of the house.
you'd only officially met him twice, once on the day you'd moved in and once the day after. his red honda had pulled into his driveway at the same time you were unloading your boxes from the u-haul, and he'd jumped out and offered to help carry your furniture inside.
at the time it had felt like this was finally your meet-cute moment, the friendly and unfairly attractive boy-next-door that sweeps you off your feet with love at first sight. but once the final box had been moved, he'd simply given you a smile and a wave and went back inside his house. no cute bonding, no exchanging phone numbers, no asking to see each other again. he just left.
of course, that had been before you found out about the parties, and the shock you were in for that same night when people had started showing up in droves had nearly led you to call the cops. so the next morning you'd put on a nice outfit and went to knock on his door, and it was then that you found out more about the neighborhood you'd found yourself living in.
with the same polite tone he'd used yesterday, he'd been friendly and apologetic for the noise, promising that he'd make sure everyone stayed on his side of the lawn and that no one disturbed you or your house. he'd explained that it wasn't a quiet neighborhood, no matter the time of year, but repeated that if anything happened he would take full responsibility for it. he said that you were welcome to come over any time, whether you needed something or you just wanted in on the fun.
you'd taken his word for it, sheepishly waving goodbye as you crossed the sidewalk between your houses, though you figured you would probably never set foot inside his house while there was a party going on. and as you’d walked away, you had tried to ignore the feeling of your heart fluttering with the beginnings of a crush on your neighbor.
tonight, however, your heart was doing anything but fluttering. music blasted outside, definitely a lot louder than usual, and the sound of car engines revving was already getting on your nerves.
you dunk your tea bag into the boiling water at the same time a loud banging on your door makes you jump, and you narrowly avoid spilling it all over yourself and the counter.
quietly you rush over to the door, looking out the peephole to see a group of people carrying cases of beer, looking around at your front porch.
before you can figure out how to react, you hear someone yell something distantly and the group turns around in the direction of the sound.
"shit, wrong house," one of the guys says loudly. "sorry, whoever lives here! have a good night!" he calls as they walk away, the others laughing over a joke you can't hear. 
with the crisis averted, you head back into the kitchen and pull the tea bag out of your mug, chucking it into the trash with a huff. full responsibility, your ass. 
and then… you have an idea. 
chan had been so insistent that you could come over if you ever needed anything, so you might as well take advantage of his offer. because tonight you did, in fact, need something. you needed the party to not be so goddamn loud that you can literally feel your living room floor vibrating beneath your feet.
you stick your mug in the microwave to reheat later and quickly change out of your pajamas and into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. presentable enough that you don’t embarrass yourself, yet comfortable enough that you don’t feel so awkward.
with a deep breath, you pull open your front door, keys tightly in hand as you lock it behind you and start making your way across the street.
you're almost at chan’s front door when a man steps in front of you out of nowhere, stopping you short. "hey, here for the party?" he asks, holding up his hand for a high-five.
"um… kinda," you say, lightly tapping his hand. you figure he must be the bouncer of some sort, from his friendly yet confident no-nonsense attitude and the way his thick biceps strain against the sleeves of his t-shirt. "i'm looking for lee chan, he owns the house?"
"gotcha," he nods. "gotta check your age before i let you in, though."
you pause, his words sinking in as you realize why he's asking. "oh, sorry, i didn't think i'd need my id," you apologize. "but i live next door, my driver's license is just in my wallet, i can go grab—"
"are you over 21?" he interrupts, and you frown at the question.
"uh, yes?"
"cool. head on in, then," he says.
you look at him suspiciously. "you're sure you don't need to see my id? what if i was lying?"
"dino will probably be downstairs, his room is the door at the end of the hallway on the left," he says, pointedly ignoring your questions. "and while you're down there, tell him cheol sent you. ask him to grab another beer for me."
he waves towards the open front door, and hesitantly you make your way inside. you have no idea who the hell dino is, and you can only hope it's just a nickname of some kind and the man you're about to go find isn't some stranger.
the second you set foot inside the doorway, it's like entering a completely different world. the air is stale and humid, clinging to your skin as you push through a crowd of what must be hundreds of people packed like sardines into every corner of the room.
the music gets louder the further inside the house you go, and you have to focus on repeating cheol's instructions in your head so you don’t get lost in the maze of hallways and doors. downstairs, end of the hallway, left. 
you soon find out where the music is coming from. unlike the normal house lights on the first floor, downstairs everything is dark except for colorful flashing led lights around the room. a man stands on top of a table between two huge speakers as people crowd around him, jumping and shouting lyrics to the song that’s playing.
there’s so many people that you have to push your way through the crowd, but most of the people around you either don’t notice or are too drunk to care. but finally, you make it to what looks like the hallway that the man outside—what was his name, cheol?—told you about.
you open the first door on your left and find four people sat quietly on the floor passing around a bong, a thick cloud of smoke hanging over the room. all four of them look over at you at the same time, glazed eyes silently asking who the hell are you?.
"sorry, wrong room," you squeak, slamming the door and retreating back into the hallway as you try your best not to step on anyone's feet.
with a deep breath you crack open the door directly beside the one you'd just opened and poke your head inside, and relief washes over you when you see chan inside.
he's sitting on a couch with a couple girls sitting next to him and a guy slumped against his shoulder, eyes closed and brows furrowed.
he looks up when the door opens, and a look of shock spreads over his face when he recognizes you. he calls your name and you step inside tentatively, saying his name in response. "chan?"
"close the door behind you," he says, and you jump to turn around and shut it with a click. he must notice you standing like a deer in headlights, because he motions you closer to him with a friendly smile. "sorry," he explains. "people will think it's an open room if you leave the door open. i don't want anybody in here without a reason to be."
you nod, but your eyes dart over at the girls sitting beside chan. he makes eye contact with them and clears his throat, and without a word they stand up, understanding the message.
he helps the man laying against him sit up, then helps him stand up and hands him off to the others. "don't let hoshi drink anything else tonight except water, okay? keep an eye on him until your driver shows up."
they nod and slip their arms around their friend, helping him stumble out of the room as he grumbles about something incoherent. "thanks, dino," one of them says with a little wave. "see you monday for that bio test."
the girls open and shut the door quickly, suddenly leaving you alone with him in the room.
"hi," you start, not knowing what else to say. it's been such an ordeal just trying to find him that you've almost forgotten why you came searching for him in the first place.
"hi," he repeats with a laugh. "honestly, i never thought i'd see you here. you don't seem like the type. so, what brings you over tonight?"
"you've only met me twice, how would you know what i seem like?" you reply defensively, thought he's spot on. this is not your usual scene at all, and you’re sure that anyone at this party who’s even a smidge sober must be able to tell how out of place you look.
he shrugs, patting the couch seat next to him. "alright, fair point. come sit down."
you carefully take a seat, purposefully avoiding eye contact with the collection of ambiguous stains on the couch cushions.
"oh, before i forget. somebody named cheol told me to tell you he wants a beer?" you say awkwardly, relaying the message.
"bastard," chan mutters, but he's smiling, and you assume the guy you met earlier is a friend of his. "fine, i'll grab him something when i go back outside." pausing, he turns his attention back to you. "but really, why are you here? i don't wanna make any assumptions, but i doubt it's for the free alcohol."
"if i was, you'd have to tell me where to find it," you say with a shrug, and he laughs but stays quiet for you to finish.
you fold your hands together nervously. "anyway, i just came over to ask—could you maybe turn the music down, like, just a tiny bit? and also… can you tell people to stop having sex in my yard?"
he winces and gives an apologetic smile. "yeah, of course. sorry about that. i told vernon to keep it down, but you know how he gets when he's…" he stops as if he’s just realized something. "nevermind. i'll go let him know right now. do you wanna come with, or you wanna stay here?"
"no offense, but i'd rather not go back out there," you laugh awkwardly. “it was bad enough just trying to find you in the first place.”
"all good," he replies with that friendly smile of his. "it's not for everyone, that's for sure. just make sure the door stays closed, and you'll be fine in here by yourself. shouldn't take too long."
he opens the door and slips out, slamming it closed behind him. you sit unmoving on the couch, finally glancing at your surroundings.
unlike the first room, the air here is fairly clean, other than the faint smell of alcohol and weed wafting in from under the door. you realize this must be chan's actual bedroom, when you see the posters that cover the walls and the bookshelf full of knick-knacks and textbooks.
you start to wonder who else lives in this house, but soon the door opens again and chan returns, the sound of voices and music flooding in while the door is open but quickly falling quieter once the door is shut again.
"alright, he'll keep it down. i'm sorry about the noise," he apologizes again, but you wave him off, suddenly feeling shy around him. with him still standing and you still sitting, he towers over you in a way that makes the butterflies in your stomach flutter back to life.
"no, it's fine. really, it's not that big of a deal," you rush, trying to ignore the growing feeling in your chest. was he always this hot? for the first time tonight you notice how his blonde hair falls in waves around his face, perfectly framing his soft features.
he shakes his head. "really, i mean it. vernon will make sure it doesn't get out of hand, he’s good at that. i can't exactly give you a quiet evening, but i can give you the best i've got."
you take a deep breath and stand up. you're already way outside of your comfort zone even just coming to this party, but maybe this experience hasn't been all that bad. after all, you got to see chan again, and you got to exchange more than a handful of words with him like you did all the other times you’d met him.
"well… what is the best you've got?" you ask him, and you almost see him raise an eyebrow.
he puts his hands in his back pockets, pausing for a second as he looks at you. "mm, best i've got? probably this room. my room. quietest in the house, and nobody will come in to bother us."
your heart races as you take a small step towards him, standing close to him but still keeping some distance between you.
"so does this mean you're not leaving?" he asks when you don’t say anything, just barely loud enough for you to hear him.
"do you want me to stay?"
he takes a step closer to you. "only if you stay with me."
"do you say that to all the people you bring in here?" your question is joking, but a part of you still worries that he thinks you're just another girl at the party looking for a one night stand. though honestly, you wouldn't even really mind if that's all this was. hell, maybe all the secondhand smoke is getting to your head and clouding your judgement, because hooking up with your neighbor seems like a pretty fantastic idea right now.
"the only time i let people in my room is to let them use my bathroom and to make sure they don't die of alcohol poisoning," he says in a low tone, a little laugh escaping him. "and now, i guess i let my hot neighbor in here, too."
"you think i'm hot?" you ask, taking another small step forward.
he matches your stride, taking one last step towards you so that you're finally standing toe to toe with him. "i'd be an idiot not to."
"but how would you know, if we've only met twice?"
he laughs. "well, you had just moved in. i wasn't gonna hit on you when you hadn't even finished unpacking your furniture yet."
"so you did want to hit on me, then," you say confidently, straightening up a little.
“did i ever say i didn't?” he rests his hands on your hips and gently pulls you towards him, closing the last of the distance between you. his eyes never leave your face, gauging your reaction and looking for any hesitation.
you wrap your arms around him and lean forward, a smile on your lips. "good to know."
he leans in the rest of the way and presses his mouth against yours, and everything else just falls into place. your hands reach up to find his hair, threading your fingers through his blond waves and tugging experimentally, and when he lets out a little noise of pleasure you kiss him harder.
the noise of the party fades into the background as his hands slide down your body to grip your ass, and you can’t help the little moan that escapes as he starts to back you up against the wall. his hands stay put, kneading your ass as you try to keep your legs from giving out already. it’s painfully obvious how bad you want him, but it’s equally obvious how he feels the same way.
“fuck, been dreaming about this since the day you moved in,” chan says, pulling away from you with a shaky breath as your fingers tug at the hem of his t-shirt. 
he pulls it off over his head before leaning over to kiss you again, his tongue tracing over your lips. he’s good at this; not like you’re surprised by it or anything, but it still catches you off guard.
he seems to be able to sense the tiny bit of lingering hesitancy, so he breaks apart from you but still keeps his arms firmly around you, loosening his grip just a little. “is this okay?” he asks in a low voice, but you can hear the concern laced in it.
you nod quickly, tugging your shirt off quickly and letting his hands settle at your hips before you pull him back closer. you never do this. maybe you really had inhaled too much secondhand smoke on the way in and you aren’t thinking straight. but deep down, you know that’s not the case. 
as much as you hate to admit it, your harmless crush on your neighbor has grown into something much, much more. you can’t say you’ve never been a little jealous when you see girls leaving his house on sunday mornings after parties. you can’t say you’ve never let your eyes linger a few seconds too long when he goes out to check the mail and he’s wearing that tight black tank and thin silver chain he never takes off.
or the fact that he works out in his garage with the door open, and you aren’t really purposefully trying to look but it’s not your fault that your window just happened to be open. and it wasn’t your fault that you just happened to look outside and see him shirtless and bench lifting a very large amount and if you were really really quiet you could almost hear him groaning—
he slides his hands down your bare skin, hesitating again at the waistband of your jeans, but you arch your back a little to push yourself closer and he takes the hint. he easily undoes the button with one hand, and you try not to think about how many times he must’ve practiced that in order to get that skilled at it. but that thought is quickly pushed out of your mind when his hand makes its way into your pants, his fingers experimentally sliding down past your underwear and brushing through your folds.
you let out a groan, rolling your hips into his hand encouragingly. you’re already hot and sweaty, standing with your back against the door in just your bra and jeans, but it’s hard to tell if the heat is from the crowded, stuffy house or from something else.
“god, you’re so wet,” he murmurs under his breath almost incredulously as he presses his fingertip against your clit, circling the swollen bud before dipping back down to collect your arousal on his fingers.
you squeeze your thighs together out of instinct, trapping his hand between your legs, and he looks up at you for confirmation. “more,” you whimper, just loud enough to be heard over the music and the noise on the other side of the door. “chan, please.”
he groans and puts more pressure on your clit, starting to rub a little faster and a little messier. he slides his middle and index fingers inside and you let out an involuntary yelp, clenching and bucking your hips in search of more friction. he starts out slow, curling his fingers in a beckoning motion as his other hand massages the bare skin of your waist.
after more of your pleading he finally concedes, sliding his fingers out and wiping them on his stomach, leaving a glistening trail of wetness on his tan skin. he glances back up at you in questioning, but he finds no hesitation in your expression as his hands start to push your pants down your legs and you kick them away, leaving you bare in front of him.
“you sure you're ready?” he pauses to ask one more time, but your quick nod has him jumping back into action in seconds.
he follows hurriedly, stripping out of his pants and shoving his boxers down to free his cock. his length springs up and slaps against his stomach, the tip looking flushed and heavy, and your mind goes blank, replaced only with the thought of him inside you. he holds himself in one hand, lining his cock up at your entrance as you adjust your position in preparation.
you groan as he finally ushes into you, your fingernails digging into the back of his shoulder blades as you struggle to balance.
“feels good?” he mumbles as he lifts your thigh, wrapping your leg securely around his hip. he doesn't move yet, his hips still as he lets you move however you need.
you barely manage to nod in return, keeping your hands firmly planted on his shoulders, slowly but surely adjusting to his size. “god, yes,” you manage, trying to keep your breathing steady. “if i'd have known you felt this good i would've come over way sooner.”
“mm, well. you're welcome over here any time.” he grins at you. his dark eyes get hazier with desire as he holds you firmly against his pelvis. “for any reason you'd like.”
the best response you can come up with is “sure”, barely listening as you start to roll your hips, but you can tell the sincerity in his statement. your attempt at movement doesn't work very well in this position, but chan quickly takes the hint, pulling back and letting his cock slip halfway out before he drives back into you.
the first thrust has you seeing stars already, and you let out a broken moan as he starts to build up his pace. your back slides against the wall as you feel the bass reverberating through your bones, and it only enhances the feeling of his cock dragging against your walls.
“if there weren’t so many people in this house, i’d have you screaming my name right now,” chan huffs against your lips, pulling your body closer and wrapping his arms around you tighter.
“mm, but the music is so loud they probably wouldn’t be able to hear it anyway,” you bite back with a brazen smile. you're feeling bold, the party atmosphere filling you with a cockiness that you don't usually possess. but something about the environment, the fact that you're fucking the hottest person here while hundreds of people rave obliviously outside the door, is a thrill you've never felt before.
he rolls his head back with a groan, and you feel his thrusts suddenly getting harder and deeper. you have to fight to stay standing, using all your energy to keep yourself upright and leaning most of your weight on him, but if he notices it he doesn't let it show. all those push-ups and bench presses that you ogle him doing in his garage must be good for something, from the way he hoists you against the wall and drives his cock into you without even barely breaking a sweat.
“say it, then,” he goads, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thigh as he holds your leg up. “you want to, don't you? you wouldn't have come over here tonight if you didn't.”
the worst part is that you know he's right. your own curiosity is what brought you here tonight, masked by the claims of noise complaints. the noise isn't even really that much of a bother: you could've gone to bed, turned on your fan and played some white noise, and you would've been perfectly fine. but some part of you longs to know what goes on at these parties, to see your devastatingly sexy neighbor in this setting you've never witnessed him in yet. so now that your curiosity has been satisfied, you really have nothing to lose.
“chan! fuck— mmph, yes—” you whine loudly, unintentionally clenching around him as the words fall from your lips. there's no way anyone would hear over the music, and even if they did, there's a high chance they wouldn't care either way. it's just what happens at parties.
his eyes light up at the sound, a moan of his own leaving his mouth as he thrusts into you over and over again, burying his cock as deep as he can go with every stroke. a familiar heat burns in the pit of your stomach at his movements, winding tighter and tighter with each passing second. your walls throb around his length, filling every inch of you until you can't take it anymore.
“chan…” you groan again, pulling him towards you with your leg around his waist. “please, keep going… c-close, i'm close—”
he leans in and presses his lips to yours, swallowing your moans with his eager mouth. “god, please cum for me,” he says breathlessly, pulling away but leaving just enough room for your lips to stay connected by a thin string of spit. “need to feel it, need to feel you. please, baby, fuck…”
he slams into you even harder, driving his cock right up into the spot that makes your knees nearly buckle. you manage to whimper out his name one last time before your lips go slack against his mouth, your eyes squeezing shut as you crash into your climax. the force of his steady, constant thrusts combined with the force of your orgasm leaves your body tingling, every nerve alight from the waves of pleasure pulsing through you.
his movements don't ever slow, but you can see the emotion twisting in his face in reaction as he watches you cum, squeezing around him so warm and wet and perfect that it takes every ounce of his self control not to immediately follow you over the edge.
his eyes bore into yours, watching your face until he's sure you've recovered enough to handle him. he pulls out and keeps his hand firmly wrapped around the base of his cock, jerking himself with tiny flicks of his wrist to keep the momentum going.
immediately you drop to your knees in front of him, tilting your head back to stare up at him between his thighs, your eyes wordlessly pleading with him as your tongue nearly rolls out of your mouth.
“fuck, you're so…,” he groans, keeping his fist tight around his cock with a few final motions. “you're so fucking hot, god, i'm gonna—”
he whines and his hips buck as he spills across your face, thick white ropes landing on your tongue and your cheeks. your smaller hand reaches up to replace his and you take him into your mouth, gagging only slightly as the salty taste fills your mouth. you wrap your lips around him and swallow, letting your tongue swirl around his sensitive head to collect it all until he's finished.
he pulls back and his cock slips from your mouth, leaving you gasping and licking your lips to catch the stray drops of his cum. his voice is low and strained as he reaches out his hand to help you up, his thick biceps flexing as he pulls you to your feet. despite the blissed-out look on his face you can see the guilt in eyes and it makes you pause, wondering if he didn't enjoy it the same way you just did. but it's only another moment before he speaks again, and your short-lived worries are put to rest.
“i'm sorry it was so fast,” he says almost shyly, pulling you over to sit at the edge of his bed. “i can go again if you aren't done yet. or we can do something else… or i could walk you back home. whatever you want, i'm happy to do.”
you expression softens into a grin, still a little hazy but definitely not finished. “oh, i can go again, for sure. i've got all night if you'll let me.”
his eyes crinkle with an eager smile, and you're already spreading your legs to give him space as he falls down onto the bed between them, landing on top of you. his hand cups your chin ans he pulls you into him, his lips finding yours and melting into you with a satisfied hum. his tongue finds its place once again in your mouth, prodding inside as he kisses you with a level of passion and desperation you haven't felt in a long time. 
he groans into the kiss as he tastes himself on your lips, exploring your mouth and the bitter taste he left inside. you feel the vibrations from it in your jaw and down your neck, and it only makes you kiss him harder in an effort to draw out more of those pretty sounds.
"hey, dino, didn't you say you'd bring me a beer? it's so boring standing out there—"
the door opens and you jerk away with a scream, hiding yourself under chan and using the nearest piece of clothing to cover up as someone barges into the room.
"cheol, get the fuck out!" chan shouts, wrapping his arm around you and keeping you pressed tightly against his chest, using his back to shield you from view. "fucking knock next time, dude, you know better!"
"jeez! how should i have known? i thought you said you didn't hook up at parties," cheol mutters as he turns around, slamming the door shut behind him. "i'll get the damn beer myself."
the door slams shut once again, and chan sighs and hangs his head, his forehead leaning against your chest before he reluctantly crawls off of you and crosses the room to lock the door.
“you don’t hook up at parties, huh?”
he turns around to look at you, and you pause to take him in. his hair is messier than it was when you got here, glued to his forehead with sweat and sticking up at odd angles from you tugging on it. his broad chest is tinged red with tiny scratches from your nails, and it makes you want to bite him all over, but you contain yourself for now.
your voice is teasing, but cheol’s words have honestly made you feel a million times lighter. you hadn’t expected to be anything special to chan after tonight; at the very least, you hoped that it wouldn’t be awkward when you see each other, but you’d figured you were just the next in a long line of girls waiting to have their turn with him. for once, you’d never been so happy to be proven wrong.
“i’ll make an exception for the pretty neighbor girl. just this once.”
“oh, so now i'm just pretty. i thought i remembered you saying that i was the hot neighbor girl,” you giggle, watching as he hops on one leg to put his boxers back on.
“two things can be true at once,” he says with a grin as he walks back over to you still lying on his bed. “besides, i still haven't taken you out on a date yet. would be kinda forward of me to call you hot when i haven't even bought you dinner yet.”
you smile at him, trying to fight the warmth burning in your cheeks as you reach up to ruffle your fingers through his soft hair. he lets out a satisfied groan at the feeling, and it gives you an idea.
“do…” you trail off, suddenly unsure, until you see the warmth in chan’s eyes as he lays on top of you and it fills you with confidence again. “do you wanna continue this at my house? i’ve got the quietest room, and nobody will bother us.”
“mm.” he grins at the way you repeat his words from earlier, enamored with your shy yet playful tone. “if we’re at your place, does that mean i get to give you the noise complaint this time?”
“i’ll allow it.” you roll your eyes and pull yourself to sit up. “i need a shower, and i’m sure you would like one, too. plus i have food that hasn't been spilled on the floor or soaked in alcohol.”
he picks your shirt up off the floor and hands it to you with a smile, moving around his room with a quiet confidence you find unbearably hot. “does this mean anything to you, or is this just a tonight thing?” he asks.
you bite at your lip as you shimmy back into your jeans, shaky fingers sliding the button into place as you sit back down on the bed. “it does,” you reply simply. “you did tell me you'd buy me dinner, after all. i'm gonna hold you to that.”
he leans over you, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips. “and i plan on keeping that promise.”
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you stumble your way through the house, squeezing chan’s hand tightly as he pulls you up the stairs, following him towards the door. you're not worried about anyone noticing you anymore: everyone's too wrapped up in their own business to care, including you. the party seems dulled now, the music fading and the people around you becoming blank faces. all you care about is chan, your eyes roving over his broad back muscles that peek through his shirt as you trail behind him. you must look no different than every other drunk college kid here with the giddy smile on your face, but you haven't had a drop of alcohol. it's just the effect he had on you.
finally you make it outside, and the cool night air feels sharp compared to the humidity inside the house. already it seems quieter as you start to walk the distance across the street, moving away from the party and towards the comfort of your own home. chan moves up beside you, wrapping his arm around your waist while you lead the way, but you're stopped once again by the same man from earlier.
“hey,” he greets chan, only sparing half a smirk in your direction but otherwise not bothering you, despite the heat that instantly rises in your cheeks at the fact that you were caught. “did you get my beer?”
“no. you said you were getting it yourself.” he rolls his eyes, and cheol whines and gives him a look that you swear almost looks like a pout. “if anyone asks about me, tell them i'm not home. tell them i had to…” he looks over at you with a cocky grin. “…had to go take care of something. noise complaint.”
cheol groans, making a face. “god, whatever. i don't want the details. but just don't make me stand outside next time. i'm doing you a favor here. i'm supposed to be working on my thesis.”
“sure,” chan replies, but he's still stuck staring at you, barely processing his friend's complaints. “yeah. anyway, i'll catch you tomorrow.”
he tugs gently on your waist and you start walking again, leaving cheol without so much as a goodbye or even a proper introduction. you'll deal with that later, you guess. there’s a lot of things you'll have to deal with, but at least the wild parties your neighbor boyfriend throws won't be one of them anymore.
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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!
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povlnfour · 11 months ago
Text
ੈ✩‧₊˚ TALES OF CANDOR (LN4)
pairing: lando norris x f!author!reader
summary: lando’s girlfriend has a secret identity. she’s not quite the girl next door everyone assumed, and he might just be the inspiration for more than just her instagram captions.
warnings: some hate comments
* faceclaim: mélanie, aka wailcester on ig (please imagine her as you see fit)
ੈ✩‧₊˚ landonorris just posted a photo
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landonorris some days @ home
👤 tagged yourusername
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user i hope ur enjoying ur time off!
user no hate but like what does his gf actually do?
user literally nothing she’s jobless💀
user it’s giving🏅👷‍♀️
user lando i love u but half naked pics of ur girl isn’t helping how much we dislike her…
user what’s she reading!!!
yourusername a thousand splendid suns by khaled hosseini!!
user ofc u are. i totally believe u acc read well written books. u probably just read gossip columns but want to seem interesting🙄
ੈ✩‧₊˚ musingsofcandor just posted a photo
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musingsofcandor biscuit approves of the final draft🤍
👤 tagged acatcalledbiscuit
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user HELLO??? CANDOR DOES THIS MEAN WE R GETTING A NEW BOOK
user i love that we know more abt candy’s cat than we do her…
user can’t wait to read it🥹🥹
rickriordan has to be my favorite thing you’ve written!
user RICK’S READ IT??? OH YOU KNOW ITS GOOD
user lando norris in the likes he’s just like all of us fr
ੈ✩‧₊˚ yourusername just posted a photo
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yourusername ‘when she finally got the camera film developed, seeing his face made it all come rushing back’🦋🫧🧚🏻
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user im sorry i know we r meant to be supportive but she annoys me sm. is she just living off of lando’s money?
user omg the caption!!!
user i recognise it, where’s it from?
user it’s from ‘tales of peter rourke’ by candor!!!
user 🤢
user we get it… ur dating someone rich. now get a job!
ੈ✩‧₊˚ mclaren interview
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[captions:
interviewer: what have you been up to in your break?
lando: a lot of lounging around with my girlfriend. read a few books too!
interviewer: anything good?
lando: i’m really into magical reality at the moment! that kind of it’s all normal till it’s not stuff, you know?
interviewer: any good recommendations?
lando: if you like that same genre, i recommend ‘the right side of upside’ by candor! it’s pretty recent, i finished it last week.]
comments
user he likes candor??? he’s so real for that
user KNEW I COULD TRUST HIM
user bad taste in women good taste in books
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musingsofcandor thank you for all the love lately on ‘the right side of upside’. insane seeing so many of you recommend it, biscuit and i are eternally grateful. love, candy🤍
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user QUEEN DID YOU SEE LANDO RECOMMENDED IT
user CANDY HAS A MAN???
user love u forever ur so talented
user CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU DO NEXT. CANT BELIEVE WE HAVE TO WAIT NOW
musingsofcandor it might be sooner than you think ;)
user UM. candor is this a soft launch?????
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landonorris got some super helpful race advice today
👤 tagged acatnamedbiscuit, musingsofcandor
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user OH MY GOD MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING
user LANDO WE NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING IS SHE CUTE I FEEL LIKE SHES CUTE
user break up w ur gf and date candor when
musingsofcandor biscuit says he can’t be held responsible for the outcome🐾
landonorris can i hold you responsible instead, candy?
user UHHHH WHATS GOING ON HERE
user i just know y/n is feeling THREATENED
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yourusername all mine
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user LMAOOO U STARTED SWEATING HUH
user candor could steal ur man if she really wanted to
user GIRL YOU’RE SO OBVIOUS
landonorris yours🖤
user STOP LYINGGGG
ੈ✩‧₊˚ an exclusive interview with candor : entertainment weekly
interviewer: so candor! tell us how it really feels having the world at your feet!
candor: [laughing] honestly quite normal! it’s a blessing and a curse, really, not having my identity revealed. i get to live my life without those pressures, but i don’t get to see anyone and thank them for reading!
interviewer: do you ever get the urge to approach someone reading one of your books?
candor: all the time! whenever i go browsing in book stores and see someone looking at or buying mine, i have such a temptation to scream THANK YOU at them!
interviewer: do you see a future in which you reveal your identity?
candor: maybe! there are a few of my fans who know who i am, those who attend the secret events and signings, but i’m very lucky that they all respect my privacy and haven’t shared anything further. perhaps one day soon i’ll finally let everyone in on the secret.
interviewer: and we can’t talk to you and not bring up your cat — or rather, who your cat met the other day…?
candor: oh! i’m assuming you mean lando norris? yes! he’s a pretty good friend of mine, he’s been a big support over the last few years and we found some time in our schedules last week to meet up.
interviewer: so you’re a formula 1 fan?
candor: huge fan! i’m a big mclaren girl so lando and i met through their events!
interviewer: oh fantastic! see folks reading this, she really is just like us!
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yourusername cars going vroom vroom makes my heart go boom boom
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user lmao posting before and after candor’s interview. girl ur not subtle.
user im so sorry but ur clearly so threatened it’s hilarious
user i don’t get all the hate in here??? she’s just in love n happy?
user shes a gold digger
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musingsofcandor told you it wouldn’t be long🫧 ‘thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat’ will be with you next friday. a lot of love poured into this one over the past few years, i just couldn’t wait any longer to give it to you🤍
already a member on my website? check your emails🦋
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user WHDHSJSJSJSJS
user OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING
user THE EMAILLLLL🥹
user candy omg where do you live that looks so pretty!!!!
musingsofcandor monaco !!
landonorris 🖤
user lando using the black heart and candor using the white… i’m sorry to his gf (not really) but they’re meant to be
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user the best day of my life!!! thank you so much candor for being the absolute sweetest human and taking time to talk to each and every one of us! i cannot wait to read thomasin jeffe, the cat, and the diplomat🥹🤍
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user YOU MET HERRRRE???
user WHO IS SHE TELL TELL TELL
user candor asks us not to share her identity so i’m gonna respect that but LET ME TELL YOU I WAS SHOCKED
user i recognise her from just that inch of her face but i can’t tell whERE FROM
musingsofcandor it was WONDERFUL to meet you! i hope you enjoy the story🤍
user wish people on twitter were as kind as this,,, there’s photos of her going around :/
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f1wags the internet has been in PIECES after famous author candor’s recent book signing. photos have emerged of the popular anonymous author from the event, revealing her to be none other than LANDO NORRIS’ GIRLFRIEND, Y/N! turns out, she has a job after all👀 (pictures taken from y/n’s instagram!)
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user i… cannot believe this
user see. when y’all were hating on her you were secretly worshipping her
user @ everyone who was an arse to y/n… KARMA IS A BITCH!
user WHAT????
user HOLY SHIT LANDO HAS BEEN DATING MY FAV AUTHOR THIS WHOLE TIME????
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yourusername well. the secrets out. it’s been a long few years, but it’s nice to not have to hold it in any more.
both my accounts will remain active for separate purposes, but i’m excited to be able to introduce you to candor as she is in her whole truth — just like her name suggests🤍
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user ironically this is exactly how i picture marian elsie from thomasine jeffe looking. full fairy
user i am. so sorry. so so so sorry. i know nothing can ever compare for the things we said but i really am
yourusername thank you. no hard feelings on my end🤍
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landonorris my candy. it may not have been how you intended, but i’m glad i get to show off how proud of you i am.
i’ve watched you as both candor and y/n for a while now, and i love both versions of you entirely. i cannot wait to see what you do now you have the freedom to be whoever you want to.
and hey, pretty cool to be able to say i’m the inspiration behind some of your characters, huh?🖤
ps. so glad i can finally share photos of mY CAT. even if he does hate me biscuit is MINE as well
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user love the clarification that the most important thing to lando is sharing photos of his cat😭😭
user MORE PICS OF BISCUIT PLEASE
user i’ve always been in love with her i can say that confidently
user oh so you’re a successful fanboy
yourusername biscuit told me to tell u ur smelly for using him for likes
landonorris you literally said to me omg i can post about biscuit now YOU FEEL THE SAME DONT LIE
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musingsofcandor i’ve had a bit of inspiration for some time🤍
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user MOM AND DAD
user i can’t believe this. my worlds are colliding
user I KNEW CAPTAIN ROURKE FELT FAMILIAR IN THE TALES OF PETER ROURKE
user i can’t believe my fav ever love interest is based on lando….
landonorris i love you. thanks for immortalising me🖤
————
a/n: hello hello! another one whilst i recover!
so this was based on an anon request and i have had so much fUN writing it!!!! whilst i don’t normally do requests generally due to being overwhelmed easily, this one stood out to me as i Love books so i was inspired. to the anon who requested, i hope this is what you imagined🤍
in terms of further requests! whilst i can’t promise i’ll do them, if you have any pressing ideas you think would work with my style , do feel free to send them in ! i always love to hear your ideas (and any thoughts on my works!! please send feedback as well!!) and will try gradually to get through some🤍
fun fact: all the book titles are based on actual books i have written hehe
fun fact pt2: yes her pseudonym is chosen bc i watched divergent last night
taglist (found in pinned post): @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101 @loxbbg @hobiismyhopeu @tsukishitm-a @moonypixel @champagneproblems17 @ironmaiden1313 @lqvesoph @sunflower-golden-vol6 @six-call @skatingiswalkingincursive @peqch-pie @m0cha-bunny @woozarts @he6rtshaker @iluvvmeeee @goldenalbon @izzy-marvel @lucyysthings @lichterfee @tallrock35
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hoshifighting · 3 months ago
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lyla I love what you write!!! I spend most of my nights diving into your tumblr and i never get tired of it!! <33
now im putting my shyness aside but still hiding on anonymous lol to request a yoga/pilates princess reader × seventeen gym lime pls?? how they would take advantage of it 😮‍💨
thank uuu love u
seventeen gym rat line x pilates princess reader
WARNINGS: smut, mentions of toned body, dirty talk, flexibility and strength
seungcheol “fuck, how are you so damn flexible?” seungcheol mutters, watching you bend in ways that make his thighs burn just from looking. pilates isn’t his thing; give him weights any day, but the way you move? he’s obsessed. he loves how you can effortlessly hold a position, legs stretched out, hips open—shit that drives him crazy. every time you strut out of the studio in those tight leggings, he’s already planning how he’s gonna have you later. “c’mere,” he pulls you close, hands sliding down to your hips, his lips brushing against your ear. “gonna bend you just like that, baby, but you’ll be screaming my name this time.” later, when he’s got you pinned beneath him, legs wrapped around his waist, he’s using all that strength to make you tremble. “this what you wanted, huh? my strong arms holding you down while you can’t even think straight?” he’s panting, half from exertion, half from the way you’re squeezing around him.
joshua tries to join you in pilates once, thinking it’s all easy stretches—wrong. the burn in his abs makes him regret every gym session where he skipped core. but watching you? the way your body moves with such grace, he’s a goner. he can’t stop thinking about how it’d feel to have you on top, moving with that same fluidity, every roll of your hips calculated, perfect. “you really have no idea what you do to me,” he murmurs, pulling you into his lap after your session, his hands sliding up your thighs. “seeing you like that.. it’s fucking hot. now let me show you what it does to me.” he’s not shy about letting you know how you drive him horny, his hands moves to grind your hips on his boner, your legging a thin layer that makes you feel his hard cock.
woozi’s always been focused, disciplined, but pilates tests his patience in a whole new way. “how is this harder than deadlifting twice my body weight?” he grumbles, struggling to hold a boat pose while you casually chat, barely breaking a sweat. afterward, when he’s got you in a deep arch on the bed, your back nearly bending in half as he thrusts into you, he finally understands the appeal. “this… shit, you look so good like this,” he breathes, eyes locked on your body. the way you stretch to take all of him “all that fucking pilates… worth it just to see you like this.” he grips your hips, pulling you even closer, rolling his hips inside you.
mingyu’s the type who thrives on challenges, so when pilates kicks his ass, he’s frustrated. but seeing you in action? it’s like watching a masterpiece. every stretch, every controlled breath, it’s got him all kinds of turned on. especially when you’re wearing those cropped tops that show off your toned body, and your boobs—he’s obsessed. “you’re gonna kill me with those damn leggings,” he groans, pulling you into his arms the moment you step out of the studio, sweaty and glowing. “can’t stop thinking about how those legs would feel wrapped around my head.” so when he finally gets you in bed, he’s eager to try out all the positions you’ve perfected in pilates, his hands roaming your body like he’s trying to memorize every muscle, every curve. “show me what else you can do, princess.”
hoshi “how do you make it look so easy?” hoshi grumbles, trying to hold a plank while you’re effortlessly transitioning into some advanced move. he’s competitive, hates losing, but damn, pilates humbles him. every time he struggles, you flash him that teasing smile, and it’s game over. he’s down bad, not just for how you move, but for the confidence you exude. when you’re in those tight shorts, showing off every line of muscle, he’s barely keeping it together. “you know what i’m thinking, right?” he asks, grabbing you the second you finish your session. “thinking of how good you’d look under me, legs wrapped around my waist, using all that strength to hold on tight. let’s see if you can stay in control when i’m the one making you feel good.” he whispers in your ear, knowing the effect his dirty talk will cause.
chan, when you drag him to pilates, he’s game—until he realizes just how much core strength it actually takes. but damn, does he love watching you. the way you move, the control you have over your body, it’s enough to drive him crazy. and when you’re wearing those tiny shorts, showing off your toned legs? he’s struggling to keep his mind out of the gutter. “how do you make everything look so fucking hot?” he mutters, following you into the locker room after your session, his hands already sliding up your thighs. “you have no idea how hard it is to focus when you’re looking like that.” later, when you’re tangled up in his sheets, he’s determined to see if all that pilates training has paid off, “let’s see how flexible you really are.” he mumbles to himself.
wonwoo can’t deny the way his pulse races when he watches you in pilates, all hot and firm. he’d never admit it, but the thought of you being able to move so fluidly, so powerfully, has him imagining all kinds of things. especially when you’re in those high-waisted leggings, the fabric hugging your curves in a way that leaves little to the imagination. “you know, you could teach me some moves,” he says, trying to sound casual, but his voice comes out rougher than he intended. “like how you can stay so damn composed even when you’re about to fall apart.” when you’re in bed, he can’t help but test that theory, his hands guiding you into a position that leaves you breathless. “let’s see how long you can hold this one, babe.”
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rosylix · 4 months ago
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petal
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붉게 물든 장미, 꽃잎을 입술에 깨물고 𓇢
practicing with felix gets a little more.. intense than last time
pairing: bff!felix × gn!reader
wc: 4.4k
content: sequel to rosy (pls read first)! the same kinda stuff.. shy/inexperienced reader, hickeys!!, dry humping for literally 1 second, borderline smut istg, TENSIONNN, fluff, a little angst? (sorry)
a/n: tysm for the overwhelming love for rosy! i never imagined it would get as much attention as it did 🩷 i rewrote this a lot and i feel like it wont live up to expectations but ahh whatever. kinda gets straight into it so be warned lol
[also read on ao3]
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
You don't know how you got reeled into this situation again.
He was joking. You're sure he was joking. So why the fuck are you sitting here, on Felix's lap, sucking on his neck again? Again!?
You were bored. He had suggested practicing again. Because, why not? The marks you gave him before are fading, and he “wanted to test something.” Plus, you need practice, and it's just fun, right? Wrong. You feel like you're dying. Every sound Felix makes is making you feel as if you're burning from the inside out.
You should stop. You should stop now. This feels weird, even if it's just practicing, it's too... What are you even doing? One time would've been enough, right? Why did he suggest this? What is any of this serving to do? 
You should stop. But god, it's not easy when he's so reactive. It seems as if any restraint he had last time is slipping now. You try to ignore how your heart flutters every time his shaky breaths stutter or when he squeezes you ever so gently when you suck a little rougher, making new marks over the faded ones. You feel dizzy but you can’t stop. 
“Mmh..” Felix gasps as you bite down a little harder than you'd intended. “A-Are you practicing being more rough too? Ahh…” You feel his hands on your waist slowly pull you a little closer to him from your perch on his lower thighs as he tilts his head back, letting out a soft groan. 
The sound is doing something unholy to your mind. It makes you crazy. It's like it shoots straight to your gut and makes you feel like you’re buzzing all over with excitement and a need for more. But you force yourself to lean back slightly. “U-Um, is it too much..?”
He shakes his head. “You’re.. you’re, uh—” His voice wavers and he clears his throat. “You’re doing really good.” And then he’s gently guiding you back to where you left off, baring his neck to you again.
“Try here, too…” he mumbles while tapping the underside of his jaw. “Please…”
With your brain so far beyond functional at this point, you do as he asks without second-guessing it. You're starting to think this is actually a pretty good arrangement. The more you do it… the more.. used to it you get. Right? Like exposure therapy or something. Yeah, this is fine.
You lean in to where he pointed to. Oh, the angle is definitely more difficult here. The first few attempts are messy, and it's a little embarrassing how you're suddenly back to being clumsy and unsure of yourself. 
But Felix doesn't seem to mind at all; his head falls back again in a rush, fingers digging into your waist again, but you're too focused on the way his pulse is fluttering under your lips to really notice. Little gasps and moans escape him as you start sucking, and he tilts his head back further, giving you better access. You’re so hyper aware of every small movement; the way his skin twitches under your mouth, the way his fingers press into you when you bite down a little too hard… You're beginning to lose your mind.
You're not even thinking anymore, you just want to see how far you can take this. How much more you can make him react. You bite down a little harder and he lets out a strangled moan followed by your name. “God... why... why are you..” He's panting now.
You start to lift your head up but he presses your head back down. “No, don't stop,” he mumbles.
Is this normal for Felix? Doing this kind of thing with people… You never really talk about this stuff with him. The topic of hickeys only came up last time because he noticed some sort of bug bite on your shoulder and, “thought you were finally getting some action” (You wanted to punch him). You didn't even really know how hickeys work, and that's when he so generously showed you. So nonchalantly, like it was nothing.
And here you are again, after he brought it up like it was nothing. Like this is all just casual, normal.
Really, when you think about it, of course it's normal for him. With his pretty face and bright personality how could he not have people all over him, right? You guys are close, but you never talk about like… hookups or anything like that. Well, it's certainly obvious enough that you're a blushing virgin, so it's not as if you have anything to talk about. You never really gave a second thought to his potential… sexual endeavors… But you are now.
How many other people does he let kiss him like this? Does he make these pretty sounds with other people too? Does he let them do more? Fuck. Fuck. You can't stop thinking about it. 
Your mouth is still on his jaw, and his hands slip into your hair, pulling you out of your thoughts. “God…” he breathes. You suck a little harsher. “F-Fuuuck…” His fingers tighten in your hair for an instant as he lets out a strained groan.
He sounds so... hot, and god, his fingers in your hair feel amazing. Without realizing it, you start moving a little, trying to get closer to him, wanting more. He immediately grabs your waist again and helps pull you higher up his lap until your hips are pretty much resting on top of his. Oh. This is new. This position feels a little… You can't even think. Maybe if you were in a more sane state of mind you would have some objection to this, but as it is, you just can't care.
Plus, it's way easier to reach Felix's neck from the new angle, so any complaints die in your throat and you sink your teeth even harder into him, pressing down and sucking. He lets out a low groan, suddenly turning into a whine as he squeezes your waist harder, pulling you in flush, so close to him you’re practically pressed chest to chest with him. It makes your head spin. Everything is spinning. 
It's so good. Like… this feels way too good to be normal. You feel high off of his reactions alone. You never really understood the appeal of… this before, but now you can't think of anything else. You feel his breath shudder under your mouth and it's like a switch flips. Your brain is gone, replaced by an overwhelming lust for more. 
It doesn't help when Felix starts shifting underneath you. He's panting, his hips moving in tiny circles, seemingly unconsciously. His eyes are closed, and you can hear every shallow gasp, every shaky exhale that escapes his lips.
His lips. His lips that are pink and swollen from his own biting. His lips that were on your arm not even a week ago. That you want to touch. Wait… what? What the hell? You can't stop thinking about if the roles were reversed right now. What that would feel like.
You can no longer help the little whine that comes out of your mouth. You swear your body is on fire and you don't even know what you're doing when you grind down instinctively against him, craving friction or some kind of release. His breath catches in his throat and his hands quickly grip your waist, pulling you flush to him, and he suddenly lets out a low moan, hips bucking up into yours, and it feels so fucking good but what—
What.
The fuck.
You’re so shocked by both your and his sudden actions that you pull away, lips leaving his skin with a small pop. 
Oh.
The sight in front of you is insane. Felix looks wrecked. His head is thrown back, blush high on his cheeks and his lips parted. After a few seconds his eyes flutter open, locking with yours. There's a dazed look in his eyes and he blinks slowly, as if he's waking up from a trance. For a few moments, neither of you say anything, you simply stare at each other in the quiet room, the only sounds being your labored breaths.
The longer you look at each other, the more his expression becomes panicked, his eyes widening as he seems to realize what just happened. “Shit. I— sorry, I—” His fingers keep gripping into your waist sporadically, seemingly out of instinct, before he abruptly jerks his hands away, as if burned. “I-I’m so sorry, I didn't— I don't know why I— s-sorry.” He’s mumbling a string of apologies, frantically pushing you off of him as he stutters.
Everything is moving in slow motion. You don't know what to do. Felix’s head falls into his hands as soon as you’re off of him, covering his face (You don't dare look lower than that). He sucks in a few deep breaths, as if he’s trying to steady himself. Maybe if your freaking brain would turn on you could say something. He's sorry. The room is spinning again.
His eyes flick up to yours briefly. “Uh… haha.” He laughs nervously. He pushes some of the hair out of his face, his cheeks are pink. “Uhhhh, w-wow okay. I think… I think you got it now. You're um— really a natural huh?”
What? You're too stunned to react. What are you supposed to say to that? You're not even sure what happened anymore. Why did he react that way? Why did you react that way? How hasn't the world imploded on itself yet? How are you still breathing?
He stares at you for a bit longer before suddenly turning his head away and burying it into his hands again. “Ugh, this is so embarrassing, I…” His voice is quiet. “I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.” 
“N-No, I… I just…” You try to talk but your throat is stuck. You aren’t really sure what exactly you're feeling. Confused? Flustered? Embarrassed? All of the above? Your head is pounding and your brain won’t function, thoughts swirling around and making you dizzy. But mostly, you feel really, really hot. Too hot. You can hardly breathe from how stifling the air is right now.
It suddenly hits you. Oh my god. You and Felix almost just… that was way too intimate. Intense. Insane. And you… why did you kind of like it? Sure, it was practice but it felt good. What the actual hell is wrong with you? Felix was being nice letting you practice on him and you… got way too carried away.
There's a part of you that's still reeling at how you got that kind of reaction from him but you push it down. You need to relax. Holy shit. Breathe.
“A-Are you okay..?” you finally choke out. 
He still won’t look at you. “I'm fine,” he mumbles from behind his hands. “Should be asking you that instead.” Silence hangs between the two of you before he sighs. “I wasn't trying to do anything. I— I don't want you to think I…” He lowers his hands and angles his head towards you. There’s a strange, conflicted look on his face. “Are you… upset?”
…Huh? Something in your expression must make him more nervous because he cringes and scrambles to explain himself. “I… Y-You’re just not really saying anything, I mean… uh…” he stutters.
You haven't even realized you've been holding your breath until your lungs start to ache. Oh. You force your stupid brain and mouth to cooperate. “N-No I'm not upset.” And you're not. Just really freaking confused. “Um, I… I don't think you were… trying to.. do anything. It's okay.”
Felix sighs in relief. “Okay. Yeah, it was just a reaction. I don't see you like that. Obviously.”
Oh. Okay. You don't know why those words sting a bit. He doesn't feel anything about this. He's just worried that you might be uncomfortable. Right. You knew that already. Of course. But why does it kinda hurt? 
You try to ignore the way your chest pangs uncomfortably. “Yeah… same….” Obviously.
“...Yeah.” He looks at you with a pinched expression for a moment. It’s gone quickly though and he laughs a little. “You look like a mess.”
Your hand darts up to your face, feeling it heat up. You’re sure your cheeks must be flushed red, your hair wild and tousled. Not to mention your lips. They feel so swollen right now. You run your tongue across them self consciously.
“Shut up… You look worse,” you grumble, trying to sound normal and most definitely failing. He lets out another breathless laugh at your reply.
“Yeah, I feel like a mess.” He seems to finally loosen up a bit and he exhales before he straightens up, clearing his throat. “Maybe let's not… do this anymore—? I mean—” he runs a hand through his hair. “Since… that… I think you got it now. Haha.. We can just… forget this happened… if you want?”
Forget this? You're not sure that's possible. You kind of want to throw up at how easily he's brushing this off. Like it's nothing. You have to remind yourself it is nothing to him. You should feel relieved but for some reason it's pissing you off.
You just sigh. “Uh, yeah, okay. Sorry.”
“No, you didn't do anything wrong. I mean, I—” He huffs in frustration and glances up at the ceiling, as if searching for words. “I— just… you’re sure you’re not upset, right? You're okay?”
You nod.
“Okay…” he breathes. “Sorry again if… I made you uncomfortable. I didn't—” He inhales shakily, letting out a short sigh before offering a sheepish smile. “I mean, yeah, we're cool, right? Are we… are we cool?”
Your heart hurts. Yeah, you’re totally cool. Everything's cool. You just want your Felix back. “...Yeah. Of course.”
He exhales, shoulders visibly relaxing. “Awesome. Uh. Good. Okay.” A beat of silence passes through the room. Your heart is still stuttering from how flushed he is, his neck littered with marks that you sucked onto his skin. You did that. And he liked it so much that he…
“W-Well!” he exclaims as he claps his hands together. He looks back at you, and like a switch flipped, he's back to his usual cheerful self again. “I think we both learned a lot from that. For example,” he raises a finger as if to make a point. “You have a talent for it, for sure. You were literally so good.” He laughs and the sudden nonchalance of this all but sends you reeling. “..And I guess my neck is like, way more sensitive than I realized. That's crazy. But like, you’re, you know, you did really well. You’re gonna have people alllll over you in no time.” 
You can hardly pay attention as he's rambling, eyes still fixed on the marks on his neck. Your mind starts going crazy, the memory of the way he looked just a few minutes ago—eyes squeezed shut, body trembling, head thrown back and his pretty, pretty voice making those soft sounds, gasping your name—it’s burned into your mind so vividly. How can you ever look at him normally again?
But you have to. You have to. Holy shit, get a grip. Just pretend it's nothing. Easy.
..Apparently not so easy since his eyes flicker back over to you and he seems to notice the way your eyes keep darting between his neck and his face. 
“U-Um, I gotta hide these,” he says with a nervous chuckle, quickly lifting a hand to touch his neck self consciously. “Do I even wanna see what I look like right now..?”
Oh, god. “..No.”
He laughs a little. “That bad? Well, now I definitely need to see.”
Felix pulls out his phone and angles the camera towards himself. His eyes immediately go wide. “Holy shit,” he murmurs as he brings his phone up a little closer to his neck, face turning slightly pink as he stares at himself. He winces when he brings his fingers up to touch the quickly darkening marks. “This is.. probably gonna be a pain to cover up.”
Your face is in your hands at this point, mortified. You groan and mumble some sort of incomprehensible apology. 
“Hey, don't worry about it,” he says. “Well, I look a bit like I got attacked by a feral vampire. You're brutal. But, hey! Maybe I can request your services again for Halloween.”
Oh my god. “Please shut up,” you mumble.
He chuckles. “C'mon, I'm just kidding. Look at me.” he pokes your hands until you huff, lifting your head up to look at him. 
The sight of him sends a burning guilt right to your stomach because your eyes automatically go straight to his neck before shooting back up to his face. He's still flushed a little pink, messy hair, dark marks on his neck… in a word, hot. But you'd never actually admit to that.
His expression softens when he sees your face. “Hey… c'mon, I can tell you're overthinking it,” he sighs and pokes your forehead a couple times. “Don't be embarrassed. It's seriously fine. I'm the one who should feel bad if anything since I… y'know.” He swallows, eyes flickering away. “You're sure you're okay?”
“I'm fine,” you mutter. Stop asking. 
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
“Okay. Well, I'm good if you're good.” His face is drawn as if he wants to say something more, but he just sighs, dropping his phone in his lap before grinning at you. “Honestly, they're cool. I look pretty hot like this, don't I?”
He has the biggest smirk on his face, and you’re tempted to smack it off him just a little. You scoff and try not to think about the fact that he just voiced your exact thoughts. “You wish.”
Felix laughs. “Hey, this is your own doing! You don't think it looks hot?”
“No!” You really do hit his arm this time, making him laugh again and hold his arms up in defense. “You look stupid. You better cover them,” you say indignantly, even though your eyes keep flitting back to his neck, unable to look away.
His eyes seem to drift down to your neck for a second too, lingering for a moment, but what could he be looking at? It's not as if your neck is a sight to see. You swear his expression changes for a second before he gives you a teasing smile.
“I should make you pay for all the concealer I'm going through.”
You look at him pointedly. “As if this is my fault? You literally asked me to do this again!”
He scratches his neck. “Ah… Yeah I did, didn't I…?”
You huff. “Yeah..” Why did you do that? You almost want to ask, but no. Just try to go back to normal. 
He smiles sheepishly and shrugs. “Yeah, sorry. Well, it was… nevermind. I'm an idiot.”
You nod. That much is true.
It's silent for a moment. “Well, we're doing a pretty bad job of forgetting about it,” he says, smiling nervously. “Nothing happened today. Right?”
You swallow. “Right. Sure.” It takes all your focus to not glance at his neck again as you say that.
“Cool. Alright.” Then he suddenly jumps up. “I know. We should play video games!” he exclaims cheerily.
He stands up beside the bed and ruffles your hair, grinning. “Come on, I'll even let you choose the game this time and still kick your ass!”
You roll your eyes and attempt to fix your messed up hair. “Riiight. Bold claims from Mr. Twelve Year Bronze Streak over here.”
He gasps. “Take that back right now.”
“Oh, you're right. It's actually kinda impressive how you don't have a negative win rate by now,” you can't help the grin that takes over your face.
“Dude. At least I have a win rate. What's yours again? Oh yeah, you only play games like Mario Kart—”
“And I destroy you every time, so..”
“There's no skill in that game! It's literally just luck!” Felix protests, pouting adorably as he crosses his arms. 
“Uh, I literally beat you even with items turned off,” you point out, giggling. “You take terrible lines. That's a skill issue.���
“Whatever. Mario Kart isn't even a real game. I mean, like— you know what I mean,” he grumbles.
“You're just mad ‘cause you suck,” you sing-song.
“I do not suck!”
“You totally do. You’re a sore loser about it too. Remember that time—”
“Enough!” he exclaims, trying to look outraged but you can tell he’s holding back a laugh. Suddenly he springs into motion, climbing back onto the bed. “Say I'm better at video games,” he says, poking you all over, your ribs and neck, tickling you.
You start shoving his shoulder in protest but only succeed in falling back against the bed as he sits, grinning down at you. “Ah— S-Stop! Get off!”
“Say it,” he repeats, grinning like he's won and pushing your shoulders back into the bed so you can't escape.
Normally, you'd hold your ground but your brain dies a little bit at the sight of him above you, hair falling into his face, practically pinning you down. He doesn't even seem to realize the position. Probably because this is normal, and you're the only one still feeling lingering weirdness. God.
“Fine! You’re— better,” you say quickly, eyes darting between his eyes and neck, suddenly remembering everything that happened just prior. You weren't able to forget about it for more than a minute. Great. “At fighting games, at least,” you amend petulantly.
He smiles victoriously. “I'll take it.” He lets up a bit, shifting his weight off you, but he’s still sitting right over you, keeping you pinned between his legs. “Was that so hard?”
“Yes,” you huff, face warming for some godforsaken reason. 
“Really?” He pokes your cheek a couple times and grins widely, watching as you immediately push his hand away. “I won. You said it. You surrendered and acknowledged my supremacy as a gamer. No take backs. I'm the best,” he declares, poking your cheek again.
“Yeah, yeah,” you say as you shove him again, face still burning. “Let me up.”
He laughs, but for some reason, he still shows no intention of moving. Rather, he seems to be having a lot of fun keeping you trapped here. 
You’ve found yourself in this situation countless times before so you don’t know why you’re suddenly finding it difficult to remember how to breathe. His eyes dart all over your face before resting somewhere just below your face. They stay locked there.
You swear time stands still for a second as he stares. It’s almost weird how intently he’s staring. What the hell is he looking at? Your neck? Why?
There's a strange expression on his face that you've never seen before. The normal playfulness is gone. He stares at your neck intently, as if he's studying every inch of it. 
You feel your breath hitch in your throat and you swallow. “What are you looking at..?”
“Nothing…” he murmurs, eyes still locked somewhere on your neck. You swear you feel his fingers flex where they're sitting on your shoulders.
The silence stretches awkwardly and he still doesn’t move. Something about the way he's looking at you now… it has your heart beating harder, chest thumping at an irregular pace and your stomach doing backflips. Is this payback for you staring at his neck so much? But there's literally nothing to see on yours. And he's staring so seriously.
“Um— Felix,” you mumble.
That seems to snap him out of his trance. He blinks before quickly glancing up at you, eyes wide, then suddenly pulling back like he wasn't expecting to find you staring right at him.  “Oh, uh…”
He pushes himself up until he's fully off of you and extends a hand to you. You blink at it for a second before realizing he wants you to take it. You let him pull you up into a sitting position, trying to keep your heart rate under control.
“Sorry… I—” He laughs. “I zoned out for a bit there I think.”
He scratches the back of his neck, looking a little sheepish. You just nod in response, heart still fluttering in your chest. That was… strange. But okay. You're not gonna think too hard about it. 
“Anyway…” he finally says, breaking the silence. “Uh, let's go play!” You blink in confusion for a moment before he stands up and reaches over to pull you off the bed. He takes your hand in his and tugs you toward the gaming setup.
You sit next to him and he hands you a controller, his legs crossed underneath him. “Alright. Since you recognized me as the king of gaming—rightfully, may I add…” He grins at you. “I'm gonna kick your ass in Mario Kart.”
You give him an exasperated look. “You say that every time but I keep beating you.”
“Silence! The king hath spoken. And so it shall be.”
You roll your eyes and settle in next to him as he starts up the game, trying to ignore the way his knee brushes against yours. He’s so close. But it's normal. It's fine.
“Try not to cry when I obliterate you, Your Majesty.”
He sticks his tongue out playfully, seemingly back to his usual self. "Just you wait. You're going down. Say goodbye to your winning streak.”
Really, it’s not your fault you can't focus on the screen. It's not your fault that your face is warm, your head feels fuzzy, and you're all too aware of how close he is. It's not your fault you keep finding yourself stealing glances at him: his arms, his throat, his tongue that's sticking out in a pout as he concentrates. Oh, and he smells nice too. It’s really freaking distracting. And so not fair at all.
You would have floored him otherwise. You're sure of it. But when Felix raises his arms celebrating a victory that should've been yours if you could concentrate on a single thing besides him for two seconds, you can only mourn your winning streak for so long before you have to face it:
You're so screwed.
a/n: i just wanna play mk with felix. is that too much to ask
these idiots. if they just kiss everything will be fine bro. sorry if this wasn't what you were expecting/hoping for ahh i struggled a lot with this and decided the plot flows best split into 3 parts. so i do have plans for a final part which will resolve everything if yall are still interested in this story haha
feedback good or bad is always appreciated! thank you sm for reading!!
part 3
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