#It would be really fucked if anyone found my Tumblr this is like in heat waves where dream had his kind of crazy diary of obsession

[inkats]

the best place to take nap ? lecture hall.

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 36

You, Joel and Ellie become reluctant guests. A continuation of Lavender Ch. 1-35 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI, 18+ only.

Length: 4.5k

You were fairly certain they weren’t raiders. 

Not that you were positive about it. The way Joel’s whole body tensed told you that you might be wrong but they’d approached you very differently than the raiders in Boston had. You shivered at that memory, at the thought of their hands on you, at Joel shooting and killing one just to make a point. 

“Not going to let them separate us,” Joel said quietly, not looking at you. Ellie was squeezed between you, armed men all around. You tugged her sleeve down, making sure her arm was fully covered. “Stay close.” 

You nodded. You hoped you didn’t look as scared as you felt, both because you didn’t want to seem weak but because you didn’t want Ellie to pick up on it. 

The men led you more than a mile into the forest, the brush thick. You had to watch where you stepped, no clear path through it. Ellie tripped at one point and Joel caught her out of the air before she hit the ground, setting her back on her feet. You’d been walking almost half an hour when you saw the light shift ahead of you. Things seemed a bit brighter, like the sun was splitting through the dense canopy. You looked at Joel, his jaw set firm, his hand in a fist. 

They’d taken his gun. It was strange, seeing him outside without it now. It had become an extension of him since you’d left the QZ. It was like seeing a dog with a broken leg, exposed and vulnerable and wrong. He looked back at you, something dark in his eyes. Like he was about to do something reckless. You shook your head once, barely moving it. He gave you a minuscule, single nod in return. 

“Don’t do anythin’ stupid,” the man on Joel’s other side said. 

“Wasn’t plannin’ on it,” Joel glared at him. You ground your teeth. This could go sideways so easily. 

Your group approached a clearing, bigger than you’d have expected to find this far in the woods. It was peppered with makeshift shacks, built with tarps and tree branches. There was one building that looked to be more permanent that some of the people were working on, the walls looking to be about shoulder high. The group was mostly men but there was a cluster of women and children off to one side. The women were watching you - or rather, watching Joel -  eyes narrowed. 

“Well well,” a man who had been standing at the corner of the half built structure strode over, hiking his pants up as he went. He looked Joel up and down, sizing him up. “Been a while since we got anybody through here. What brings you by?” 

“Just passing through,” Joel said, his shoulders squared. You held Ellie to your side and you could feel just how tense she was.”Would have been well and through here if your men hadn’t stopped us.” 

“Where you headed?” The man asked. He wasn’t as tall or broad as Joel but he wasn’t small and you really fucking hoped that Joel wasn’t about to pick a fight with the man. 

“Wyoming,” Joel said. “My brother’s out that way, meetin’ him.” 

Man nodded slowly, kicking at some of the brush on the ground, watching his feet as he did before looking back at Joel. 

“And who’re you traveling with?” He asked, glancing at you and Ellie. “Haven’t seen anyone come through here in weeks, been even longer since any women or kids made it this far.” 

Joel glanced at you quickly. 

“My wife,” he said. “Our niece. Right Baby?” 

Both men looked at you. 

“Right,” you nodded, still holding onto Ellie. “We’re going to stay with my brother-in-law, hoping it’s better out that way.” 

The man nodded again, frowning a little. 

“Looked like you were comin’ from Kansas City,” he said. “Not much down that road beyond that.” 

“Why?” Joel asked, voice getting heated. “What’s it matter where we’re coming from?” 

“Because we had some information coming over radio from Kansas City until just over a week ago,” the man said. “About as long it’d take to walk this far.” 

“Good for you,” Joel said. 

“We got the fuck outta dodge just before FEDRA fell,” the man ignored Joel. “But can’t say FEDRA was much too happy with that. Neither was Kathleen.” 

“Aren’t you just making friends everywhere you go,” Joel replied. 

“One of the last things we heard out of KC was real interesting,” the man said. “At least, as far as you’re concerned.” 

You tensed, trying to look around without being suspicious about it, ascertain where shots might start coming from so you could put yourself between there and Ellie. But you were pretty damn well surrounded. 

“Why’s that?” Joel growled, straightening his spine just enough that the man had to look up at him. 

“Because Kathleen was awful interested in a man, a woman and a girl,” he said. “Was damn near ready to burn the city down looking for them. A man, a woman and a girl who sure fit your description. Wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” 

Joel’s jaw twitched. 

“We dodged Kansas City best we could when passin’ through,” Joel said. “Heard it went to shit, didn’t want to get mixed up in it.” 

“Well how about we just keep you here until we find out,” the man said. “I can’t risk FEDRA coming down on us and I’m hard pressed to think of much that would piss off Kathleen that much short of fucking FEDRA.”

He jerked his head and two men came forward. 

“Why don’t you take the girls…” 

The man closest to you put his hand on your shoulder and Joel moved so quickly it made you jump. He punched the man closest tho him and grabbed his gun as he stumbled back. He grabbed the leader, pulling his back against him and pressing the gun to his head. 

“Not takin’ the girls anywhere,” he snapped. The guns all around you snapped to Joel. Ellie gasped and you tried to put yourself between her and Joel. “They fuckin’ stay with me!” 

“Don’t think you’ve got much room to make deal, friend,” the leader’s voice was strained, Joel’s arm around his throat. 

“You think I won’t fuckin’ kill you right here?” Joel snapped. “They stay with me or I blow your fuckin’ head off.” 

The men with their guns drawn moved closer. 

“Joel, it’ll be fine,” you said quickly. 

“Yeah, if I stay with you, it’ll be fuckin’ fine,” he snapped. 

There was a man on Joel’s other side, where you thought Joel might not be able to see him, who started moving again, gun up. 

“I’m a doctor!” You said quickly. Suddenly, people were more interested in you than they were in Joel. “I”m a doctor, I have medications with me, I can check over your people here. There’s a man, one who met us on the road, he’s limping. It looked like it might be an ankle injury, I can check it, set it properly… anyone here sick? I can treat them. But I won’t do shit for you if you hurt Joel or separate us. 

“You put the guns down and let us stay together and I’ll treat your people while you confirm that we’re not FEDRA or whatever else you’re worried about,” you said. 

“Don’t know that your husband would agree with you,” the leader said. 

“Joel,” you looked at him, eyes pleading. 

“Let me stay with the girls,” Joel said after a second. “Not just lettin’ you do whatever the fuck you want with ‘em.” 

“Stay with them,” the leader said. “We can make that work. We wouldn’t hurt them but you can stay with them.” 

Joel looked around once more at the gathered men before he released the leader and gave the man whose gun he’d stolen his weapon back. He watched them, almost daring them to try to stop him and he came and stood by you and Ellie. 

“You OK?” He asked, his voice low. 

“Better now that you’re probably not going to get fucking shot,” Ellie muttered. 

“Take the three of them to a place they can set up for the night,” the leader ordered the man Joel hadn’t punched. “We’ll try radio contact in the morning.” 

The man kept his eyes on Joel the whole way, like Joel was an animal he was worried as about to try to snap off a hand. You kept Ellie against you and Joel put his arm around your shoulders. The man led you to a part of the clearing that had relatively flat ground but was still open. 

“Assuming you have your own gear,” he said flatly. “Don’t fuckin’ try anything.” 

Joel kept an eye on him as he walked away before he turned his attention back to you and Ellie. 

“They didn’t touch you, did they?” Joel asked, taking your face in his hand. 

“No,” you shook your head. “No, we’re fine.” 

He kissed your forehead before he stepped back from you. 

“Don’t like this,” he kept his voice low. “Don’t think there’s anyone left in fuckin’ Kansas City that they can contact.” 

“Think their radio can reach Boston?” You asked quietly. “Abe knows me, if they talk to Abe, Abe can confirm that we’re from Boston, that we’re not FEDRA… well, that you’re not, anyway…” 

“You’re not FEDRA either,” Joel frowned. “Not the kind they care about, anyway.” 

“Regardless,” you said. “I think we need to tell them we came from the Boston QZ and tell them to radio Boston if they can. Maybe they’ll just let us go, if they really are just worried about FEDRA coming down on them, they’d have no reason to keep us.” 

“You just gave ‘em one,” he muttered. 

“It was the only thing I could think to do to keep them from fucking shooting you,” you snapped. “Figured we could deal with the fallout once everyone was alive!” 

“Guys!” Ellie interrupted you. “If we want to keep them from fucking killing us this probably isn’t the way to do it.” 

You and Joel looked at each other for a moment before you just nodded at her. 

“Let’s do our best to stay in one piece tonight,” you said, looking between the two of them. “Lay low.” 

You watched the rest of the camp from your little corner as you pulled food out of your bags, down to the last of the cans you’d brought with you from the cabin. Ellie staked a claim to the Spaghetti-Os. 

“People from before made some pretty decent food,” she scraped the inside of the can. “QZ food was so shitty.” 

“And that’s not even the good food,” Joel said. “But even that’s not bad. Especially not by comparison.” 

“Know what I would kill for now?” You asked, eating a soggy green bean from your vegetable soup. “A Big Mac.” 

“Fucking hell,” Joel groaned a little. “Who knew I’d ever miss fuckin’ McDonalds but damn, their French fries…” 

“Ugh, when they were hot right out of the grease?” You sighed. “Kill me. So good.” 

Ellie looked between you. 

“Old people are weird,” she muttered, finishing her food. 

As it got dark, the camp got quiet, not much in the way of light. Joel didn’t pull out the lantern, apparently not wanting to risk it if no one else here was. 

“I’ll keep watch,” he said after Ellie had already gone to sleep, her rhythmic breathing quiet and close. “You sleep.” 

“We can trade,” you replied. “Don’t need you to be so sleep deprived you can’t function.” 

“I’ll wake you up halfway through,” he said. 

You moved closer to him, putting your head on his shoulder. 

“Really ready to never see a gun pointed at you again,” you said quietly. 

He kissed the top of your head. 

“Need you to stop offering yourself up every time we’re in a tough spot, Baby,” he said. “You’re not some fuckin’ bargaining chip, need you to stop actin’ like you are.” 

“I couldn’t just stand there while someone tried to hurt you,” you replied. “I know you’re stronger than me and more capable than me but there’s stuff I can do, too. I can help get us out of tight spots.” 

“Not gettin’ us out of a tight spot if it gets you captured, hurt or killed,” he pressed his nose into your hair and breathed you in. Even though you hadn’t washed it since the cabin. He didn’t seem to mind. “It’s not worth you, Baby. Nothin’s worth you.” 

“Nothing’s worth you, either,” you replied. “So stop getting guns pulled on you and I’ll stop trying to get you out of it. Deal?” 

He laughed once. 

“I’ll do my best.” 

You stretched out on the ground beside Joel, his back against a tree trunk. You rested your head in his lap and he stroked your hair as you drifted off, listening to him breathe. 

***

Joel kept his hands on you while you slept. It was comforting, feeling you close, feeling your ribs rise and fall with your breath, feeling the little twitches you made as you dreamed. Solid evidence that you were alive and with him. As long as you and Ellie were alive and with him, he could figure the rest out. He had to figure the rest out. 

You were right about contacting Boston. The people here seemed reasonable - even if they were edging in on desperate. They’d left the three of you alone that evening, minus guards watching you from a reasonable distance. But he was worried about the desperate side of them. Desperate people would justify a lot of things. He knew how that worked. Desperate people would do anything to survive. He’d just need to make sure what they needed to survive didn’t involve the three of you. 

He didn’t wake you up halfway through the night. He wasn’t the most alert guard, drifting in and out of consciousness but staying awake enough that he knew that no one was going to be sneaking up on you. 

You glared at him about it in the morning but didn’t push him on it. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. 

“No,” he snapped. 

“You can just stay here,” you replied, grabbing your pack. “Keep an eye on Ellie. Maybe nap. It’s fine.” 

“Not going to just let you do whatever these people say…” 

“Wasn’t planning to,” you replied. “I was just planning to treat people who were sick and hurt. And check on the kids especially. It’s better if you’re over here, your bedside manner is… Look, Joel, you’re good at a lot of shit but putting people at ease isn’t one of them.” 

He ground his teeth as he watched you head toward the center of the camp, your pack over one shoulder, as you went to talk to the man Joel had put at gunpoint the day before. 

“Gin?” Ellie asked. He frowned down at her. She held up the cards. “I meant the game.” 

He watched from afar, barely paying attention to the game, as you went from person to person, checking injuries, asking questions. You pulled out medications a few times, distributing them as necessary. You’d been working for a few hours when the leader of the camp walked over to Joel. 

“Your wife said you’re from Boston,” he said, sitting next to Joel. 

“We are,” he said. “Left the QZ a few weeks back. Making our way west, like I said. Trying to get to my brother in Wyoming.” 

“She suggested I call the radio tower in Boston if I couldn’t get anyone up in KC,” he said. “But she seemed damn sure I wouldn’t get anyone in KC.” 

Joel just shrugged. 

“We’ll see if we can get a line out to Boston this afternoon,” the man said. “See if you folks are telling the truth.”

“And if we are?” Joel asked. 

“Then we’ve got nothin’ to worry about with you, do we?” The man shrugged. “Look, I’m not wanting to keep you here if you don’t want to be here. And we already have enough trouble feeding our own, we don’t need two more mouths. But I can’t risk the safety of the people here. If there’s even a chance that you’re FEDRA, I can’t let you go and inform on us. We risked a lot to get the fuck away from them, not about to go back.” 

You didn’t come back to your corner of camp until early evening. You’d worked the entire day and all but collapsed next to Joel and Ellie. 

“That felt like a really rough day at the clinic,” you said, arching and stretching your back out as you settled into the ground. “They have almost no resources here…” 

“I know FEDRA’s bad,” Ellie said. “But this can’t be better than that.”

“It was better where we were,” you said, going into your bag for jerky. “Which says a lot because they were executing people for breaking curfew too many times…” 

Ellie frowned and ate some jerky. 

“If there was a cure,” she said, looking at the two of you hesitantly. “It would go back, right? To the way it was before?” 

Joel looked at you for a moment and you looked back at him. 

How was he supposed to answer that? Tell her that who knows what would become of this fucking mission the three of you were risking your lives for right now? That sometimes people are just too damn mean and too damn stupid and too damn power hungry? That it doesn’t even take cordyceps to make the world go to hell? Give the right asshole too much fucking power and they’ll invent problems so they can take the rest of it. 

“Don’t know,” Joel said eventually. “Never had to cure something like this before. Never had the whole world collapse like this before. No fucking clue how it would go.” 

“We won’t know unless we try,” you said, your voice low. “It’s all we can really do.” 

One of the men who’d led the three of you to the camp the day before came over, his eyes on Joel. 

“We got a line through to Boston,” the man said. “Who’s going to verify your identity?” 

“I can,” you got up, dusting yourself off. 

“We all will,” Joel narrowed his eyes at the man. He didn’t trust him. Something was setting his teeth on edge. He could feel it, something shifting. 

The three of you followed him over to the battery operated radio. The signal was faint and fuzzy but you took the mouthpiece. 

“Abe?” You asked. “You there?” 

“Sweets?” His voice crackled and popped. You smiled a little. “Jesus Christ, I thought you were dead! Good to hear your voice. The fuck are you doing way out there?” 

“Meeting up with Tommy, Joel’s brother,” you said. “We left in a hurry but we’ve hit a bit of a snag here, can you just confirm that we’re from Boston and don’t have anything to do with FEDRA in Kansas City?” 

“Course you don’t have anything to do with the shit show in Kansas City,” Abe scoffed. “You’ve been in Boston since 03. They listening?” 

“Yeah,” you said, glancing over at the leader, his hands on his hips. 

“That girl was in my damn office twice a week every week for five years after the outbreak, searching for that man,” Abe said. “Then he found her. They’re from Boston.” 

The leader took the mouthpiece from you. 

“Thank you for confirming,” he said. “Over and out.” 

He put the mouthpiece down and nodded. 

“Sounds like you are who you say,” the leader said. “In that case, you’re free to go. You can go in the morning…” 

“Few hours of daylight left,” Joel said. “We’ll go now.” 

He put his arm around you and started steering you back to where your packs were. 

“Joel,” you said quietly. He cut you off. 

“Need to put some distance between us and these people,” he said. “Somethin’s not right.” 

You didn’t fight him on it. Which was good because he was damn near ready to put you over his shoulder and carry you out of here if you did. 

Ellie was ready first, backpack on, her eyes narrowed at the leader of the group talking closely with a few of his other men. He watched them, too, staying close to Ellie and you. Something wasn’t right. 

“There are some medications I want to leave…” you said as you put your pack on, Joel shook his head.

“No,” he said. “Somethin’s not right, we have to go.” 

“But…” 

“Baby,” he looked at you, all but begging for you to listen to him. “It’s not worth the risk. We have to get Ellie west, we have to go.” 

You looked to the girl who, for a change, was sticking closer to Joel than she was to you. 

“OK,” you said. 

He led you toward the edge of the camp, where he knew the road was waiting for you just a mile out, watching as the men of the camp closed ranks. 

They still had his fucking gun. 

“Sorry to have held you folks up,” the leader said, flanked by a few men. Joel ground his teeth. “We just can’t afford to be too careful, not with what we got away from.” 

“We understand,” you smiled. It didn’t reach your eyes. “We appreciate you letting us get on our way.” 

“Sure, sure,” he nodded slowly, stepping closer. “The man and the girl are free to go. But I’m afraid that I can’t, in good conscious, let a doctor leave. You’ll have to stay.” 

Two of the men came forward and grabbed you under your arms, pulling you back and two more grabbed Joel before he had a chance to react. 

“Joel!” You screamed, reaching for him but they yanked you back. More men surrounded you, your eyes wide and desperate. 

“Leave her alone!” Ellie shrieked before a guard grabbed her, too. 

Joel felt the action before he’d decided to do it. The rage and the fear and the heat of it all taking over the second one of those men touched you. It was a drumbeat in his body: get to you get to you get to you. 

He was not going to let anyone take you from him.

He moved quickly, throwing one of the men who had him to the ground and shoving the other one back before going for you. The leader pulled his gun and pointed it at Ellie. Joel froze, his heart in his throat. 

“Now, I’d hate to harm a child,” he said. “So how about I let you take the girl on out of here and we keep your wife. I promise we won’t hurt her, won’t let anything bad happen to her. She’ll be treated well, better than she would be in a QZ.” 

“Joel,” your face was wet. “Joel, get Ellie out of here…” 

“No,” he shook his head. “No! I’m not leaving you…” 

“Get Ellie to Tommy,” your voice was wet. “Take care of her…” 

He looked at the man with a gun to Ellie’s head. It was like his chest was cracking open with the heat of rage, the desperation of it. 

“Listen to your wife,” the man said. “Don’t make me do something I don’t want to do.” 

Joel tried to force himself to breathe for a moment, looking at the girl you’d both been tasked with protecting. There was rage in her eyes, too. She wanted someone to hurt for this. She hated them, too. 

“OK,” he said, looking back to you. “I’ll get her there…” 

The man started to lower the gun and Joel struck the second it was pointed more at the ground than at the girl. He grabbed his arm and wrenched it back, twisting until he dropped the gun. He pulled the man to him and, for the second time in as many days, pressed his own gun to his head. 

“She comes with me and so do you,” he snarled. Everyone froze. “Let her go! Fucking move!” 

The men holding you released you and you stumbled forward, ducking behind Joel and grabbing Ellie toward you. 

“I’ll let you go when we get to the road,” he said. “Anyone fucking follows us and I kill him!” 

He looked around, waiting for someone to challenge him. No one did. 

Joel looked at you. Your eyes were wide and your face was still wet but you seemed to understand. You grabbed Ellie’s hand and pulled her into the woods, all but running for them, as Joel backed away from the camp, the gun to the man’s head. 

“I will fucking kill every person here,” he said. “Don’t follow us.” 

He started after you, keeping the gun pressed against the leader. 

“We can work something out…” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Joel snapped. He glanced down at you. 

“They hurt you?” He asked. You shook your head. He looked back to the man. “Better count your fucking blessings that she said no.” 

The walk back to the road was faster than the walk to camp, even hauling an unwilling man along side him. Joel kept an eye out for any signs they were being followed but none came. 

“Look,” the man said as they neared the road. “I hope you understand, I was just trying to do the best thing for my people…” 

“By kidnapping someone?” Ellie rolled her eyes. “OK sure.”

“You’re a child, you don’t understand what it means to have people relying on you…” he replied. 

They made it to the road and Joel released the man. The rage was still hot in him, the drive to punish the person who had been a threat to you and the girl strong. 

“Get behind me,” he said, his voice eerily calm. 

“Joel,” you said quietly, but he cut you off. 

“You and Ellie,” he said. “Behind me.” 

He raised the gun. 

“Wait…” The man put his hands up. 

Joel didn’t care. 

He shot him in the head and watched him drop like a bag of sand, the blood vibrant on the earth. You gasped, like you were surprised even though you clearly had known what was coming. 

“We’ll have to move fast,” he said, going to the man’s body and pulling the rifle from his back and gathering the spare ammo he had on his person. “They’re going to come looking for us when he’s not back in time, and that’s assuming no one heard the shot.” 

“Joel,” you said his name quietly, looking up at him. 

“He threatened Ellie,” he said. “Tried to take you from me. I couldn’t let him live. Not after that.” 

He pulled you into a quick hug, Ellie leaning around the two of you to look at the body. 

“Come on,” he said. “We have to move.” 

The three of you ran across the street and into the forest, the trees swallowing you up as the sun started to get low, the pooling blood reflecting the twilight sky.

A/N: Look I will write feral Joel at the slightest provocation, don't test me.

There's a bit more travel time to come before our trio makes it all the way to Jackson and lots of country to cover between now and then. I hope you're enjoying it!

I have a taglist! Please let me know if you'd like to be added to it. I keep having more and more people crop up who I can't tag (Tumblr won't let me?? It's very odd) so I'm so sorry if it's not going through, I promise I'm trying!

Thank you, as always, for reading and for commenting. It's so amazing to see how people are reacting to this story in real time and makes it such a joy to write. Thank you thank you thank you for being here :)

Taglist: @paleidiot @ayamenimthiriel @ginger-swag-rapunzel @drewharrisonwriter @flugazi @pedropascalsbbg @taoyuji @starstruckmusiciansartghost @splendsay @bigboiseason123 @jpbplvr @ashleyandring @mrsyixingunicorn10 @sloanexx @ninaminaromina @lady-bellyn @hufflepuffriver @sarap-77 @storyarcscribe @mellymbee @jasminedragoon @lemonmeli @reds-ramblings @arizonadaydreamer @mumma-moonchild @blackroseguzzi @candypeaches16 @kittenlittle24 @wrappedinfiction @oatmeaiboy @pedritosdarling @winchestergypsy90 @imnotdatboii @lalalalemonade11 @maknimuk1 @mrsdarcyinlovewithbuckybarnes @pedrosaidsheispunk @commanderawkward @n7cje @elliesgirlll @tsunamistorm123. @spookyxsam @leeeesahhh @anoverwhelmingdin @untamedheart81

[we-will-be-reun1ted]

One of my headcanons is that names are borderline sacred in their culture, and only given out and used by people you are very close too. And even though they aren’t on their home world anymore, it’s just habit and natural for them to continue with that tradition. Which is why everyone calls the player twin “Traveler” aside from the abyss sibling, who calls them Aether/Lumine. and why the Traveler never refers to their sibling by name when talking about them to anyone.

(And this brings up something interesting about Dainsleif and the abyss twin’s dynamic, because he’s the only character to have used their name aside from the Traveler, which to me really shows how close they used to be. Even closer than Paimon and the Traveler.)

Oh my god I’ve never heard of anything like this before that’s so interesting

Fuck it I’m incorporating that into my own headcanons now thank you very much! I REALLY like that!

Okay I found this headcanon off someone else on tumblr a while ago but I cannot for the life of me remember who it was so credit to them wherever they are. I feel like Lumine and Aether are just shortened down names of their actual names and that their real names are Aethereal and Luminescent. (Adding my own little meaning behind the names) Aether is named Aethereal as the definition of it is ‘someone or something that is light, airy or heavenly’

I’m gonna take the light thing literally as Aether and Lumine I believe are technically somewhat made of light, with Aether having much more correspondences to sunlight while Lumine moonlight. Plus I feel like the twins are both very ethereal beings. Looking really heavenly. Like Gods almost depending on where they are.

Now Lumine. I believe her name would be Luminescent as the definition of that is ‘emitting light not caused by heat’.

That really matches her as I feel like she’s both physically and metaphorically cold. She has correspondences to moonlight which is much cooler than sunlight is.

Neither of the two really call each other their full name unless it’s something very serious or they are VERY pissed off at each other. Usually is things like ‘Lumi, Loom, Aeth, Ae’ stuff like that! If I find the original poster of their names I’ll reblog them.

Thank you once again for the new headcanon :3

[swampstew]

Hi Raven!!! For the character asks:

Kid Pirates officers with question 6: what's something you have in common with these characters?

Eustass Kid with 17 & 24. 17 is what's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite? 24 is what character from another fandom of yours reminds you of this character?

And I'm using 26 to invent my own question for the officers of the Kid Pirates and whomever is you favorite Strawhat pirate: What character from another fandom do you ship with these characters?

Thank you for playing Crimson, and ooh so many dolls to play with :D

6. Kid: We both have a temper that rivals the devil himself. The first time I saw Kid in Sabaody, before I found myself attracted to him, I was like 'ohmyfuck this guy is me, I am this guy.' Killer: I answered this in a previous ask, to summarize we both enjoy cooking and I'd love to whip up a meal for that meat man Wire: Probably not much except being on the quieter side. We're both observant and take in whats around us, sometimes on high alert at all times if the vibe feels off. Heat: My dude Heat feels like he'd be a pothead and I fuck with that!

17. & 24. got Kid. 17. Hmmm I feel like I don't really like canon/canon shipping that much, especially with Kid. That said, I've seen some shipping of Kid with marine characters *coughKobycough* and I highly disagree, but I understand why some find the concept hot.

24. Kid highkey gives off Vegeta vibes. I saw a post the other day, cant remember if it was tumblr or twt, but it was a gif of the lego movie and it was something along the lines of Eustass Kid being like Emmett with the master building ability; in that vein I agree but thats is cause Emmett is a lap dog(affectionate). I can see Grimjoww being Kid adjacent, I think that's all that come to mind!

26. Kid: Again, don't super love shipping him with anyone. Maybe someone with powers from the marvel or dc universe, or star wars - but I can't think of any actual characters that I would pair him with. Killer: Hear me out...in a not pirate AU, Kim Possible. No I will not elaborate further. Wire: Ummmmmmmmmmmmm.....who is tall enough? Heat: Miss Piggy and she would run his shit wham bam thank you ma'am Sanji: Literally anyone. Sanji is one of my favorite idiots but letsbehonest, he would treat whoever was his significant other like they were his own God/dess and tbh they deserve it.

Send me an ask <3

[leoandraphssoulmate]

Warning!!!

You read at your own risk! 

I can’t possibly predict what may or may not trigger you!

So, with that being said, READ RESPONSIBLY! If something triggers you, STOP READING!

Also, if you’re a minor, and you continue reading, that falls squarely on you! I don’t work for Tumblr and refuse to stalk every single profile on here to see if you are in fact over 18!! 

I write for myself. If you like what you read, give it a like and a reblogg! No pressure! It just helps get the word out! 

Thanks for stopping by!

FLUX

Chapter 4

Star

Side Note: From this point on, FLUX will be written in different POV’s. I will title each chapter accordingly, so that you know who’s speaking when I use the first person perspective! 

Time. 

It isn’t promised. 

Sure, it keeps ticking, long after you're gone.

But it’s only a part of the beat.

It can be the bass, or it can be a tweet. 

It’s not sweet. It’s not mean.

And lord knows you can’t be in between. 

It sees nothing and it knows no one. 

Yet, it ravages you as though you are someone. 

A member of the tribe.

A flash of light.

Uncommonly dark or substantially bright.

In the end, time is always right. 

All I could do was breathe and stare down at my hands as I sat on a very worn couch, my eyes tracing over my fingers and down along the edges of my hands to my wrists. To use the term shell shocked would be putting it lightly.

I smirked to myself. Heh. Shell shocked.

Fuck. I silently swore to myself. If I was still human, my heart would have surely exploded by now! I was like them, yet something much more. I could feel a strange swell inside me. Like a power that had yet to emerge from its hiding place. 

I closed my eyes, trying to remember anything that happened before I found myself in front of Macy’s. I kept hearing what I thought was a male’s voice, niggling at the back of my mind, but I couldn’t quite seem to….

“What was it like, Star?” Mikey asked, invading my thoughts as he flopped down next to me, a wide grin on his handsome green face, sky blue eyes genuinely curious. 

“Yeah! What was it like?” Donatello crossed his arms over his upper plastron, curiosity also glistening in his hazel eyes. 

I blinked a few times, a shiver running through me as I recalled the quazi dream I had just before the portal spit me out into New York. Ugh! 

New York!

 “Unnerving?” I offered, not really sure what else to say as my hands now gripped my furry knees. I looked up at Donnie and he frowned slightly.

“Did you create the portal?” He asked, eye ridges raising. “Or did it just appear? If it just appeared, why then did you blindly walk through it?” His eyes darkened slightly.

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. I had clearly mistook the curiosity in his eyes for suspicion. 

“Why don’t we save the third degree for after she’s had a chance to catch her bearings, Donnie?” Leo said as he came around the couch, setting a cup of tea down on the coffee table in front of me. 

“The third degree?” Donnie huffed. “Leo, don’t you think it’s a little strange that the woman you’ve been dreaming of for months suddenly appears in New York, through a portal I might add, then somehow finds her way to our lair?”

Feeling suddenly small, I wrapped my arms around my waist, gripping the tip of my tail. 

“If anyone’s going to be asking her anything, it’s me!” Leo half shouted, his eyes narrowing. Donnie inclined his head, then turned to walk away.

“Yo, Fearless! Chill out!” Raph said as he walked up behind me.

I swallowed, harder this time. Both Mikey and I looked from Leo to Donnie as I leaned forward, reaching for my cup of tea. The heat felt good in my hands as I brought the cup to my lips. 

Almost instantly, my body seemed to uncoil as the golden fluid made its way to my stomach. I smiled, hugging the warm cup to my chest. “Thank you, Leo.” 

Leo pulled his gaze from Donnie, looking back down at me, his blue eyes fierce. “You’re welcome.” He said softly, his gaze shifting to Raph as he came to stand in front of us.

“What’s with Don all tha sudden?” Raph asked as he picked up a random magazine from the corner of the table, then began lazily flipping through it. “It’s not like him ta be tha one ta start a fight.”

“I’m not sure.” Leo breathed as he sat down on the other side of me. “But tell me to chill again and you and I are going to have an issue.”

The body heat from both Mikey and Leo was almost too much. I never imagined that two males could ever be this warm. My eyes widened with a sudden realization. Or maybe it was the tea? “Um, Leo?” 

“Yeah?” 

“What kind of tea is this?” I held the cup out slightly. 

Leo smirked. “A special kind.” 

“A special kind?” My ears twitched as I sat forward, my head swimming slightly.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t drug you if that’s what you’re worried about.” He smirked.

God I could stare at him for hours.

“I just gave you something to help you relax. You’ve been through alot in the past two hours.”

I nodded silently. He was right. Of course he was right. Giving in, I leaned back against the couch, resting the cup on my chest.

“Speaking of which, how long had you been here, in New York, before you sought out the lair?” He asked softly, his hand gently settling on my right knee. 

I swallowed, his skin finding mine just beneath my fur, burning oh so deliciously. “Not long.” I leaned forward, setting my cup down on the table, deciding I no longer needing its warmth. I felt ready and able to answer any and all of his questions. 

Leo leaned towards me slightly, his lips parting to ask another question, but Donnie interrupted him.  

“Star?!” Donnie shouted, making me jump, as he made his way towards us with his tablet. “Which Macy’s did you appear in front of again?” Leo started to say something, but Donnie quickly showed him his tablet, causing Leo to take in a sharp breath. 

“Please.” Donnie’s face softened as he then showed me what Leo had seen. “I’m sorry for being so insensitive before, but this is important.”

I stared at the information in front of me, my mind pulling a complete blank as my eyes trailed over the gray and black graph. “What is that?”

“Magnetic readings. Very strong ones!” He pointed to several green and yellow graphs just below the darker ones I had been staring at. “Stronger than any I’ve ever recorded. I don’t think your portal closed all the way, Star.”

“Dude!” Mikey tried to look at the tablet, but Donnie quickly pulled it away. 

“What does this mean?” I looked from Leo to Donnie, my heart hammering against my ribcage. 

“If you are in fact its creator, and we can’t get it closed, it can pull you back at any time. Ripping you from this reality.” He looked down for a second, then turned his hazel eyes back to me. “And possibly not taking you back to where you’re from.”

“Wha- “ I didn’t want to be taken away! I wanted to stay here! I wanted to be with- 

Oh god! My throat tightened just as Leo grabbed my hand as he simultaneously put a finger under my chin. 

“We’ll figure this out. I promise. We just found one another! I’m not about to lose you now.” His ocean blue eyes darkened as he looked up at Donnie. “Let’s let Donnie run some tests and maybe he can help you figure out how to close it. Permanently.”

“I think you guys have bigger things to worry about!”

Raph and I slowly turned our heads to see a woman walking towards us, wearing a dark blue tank top that revealed a chinese dragon tattoo on her left upper arm. Her blue eyes skimmed over me just before they locked on Leo.

“The lair’s been compromised.”

“Compromised? How?!” Leo said, instantly standing. 

“Huh?” Mikey and Raph said in unison. 

Donnie quickly swiped through his tablet, his eye ridges raising. “Yeah! How? My system hasn’t-” 

“Is it them?” Raph asked.

“Casey can tell you more once he gets here,” April snapped, “but we need to get you guys out of here. Now!” 

“April, where are we gonna go?” Leo asked, holding his left hand out to me. 

April smirked. “Who’s the new recruit?” 

“April, this is Star.” Leo huffed, pulling me up from the couch. “Star, this is April.”

“Detective April, but yeah.” She tucked a few strands of her long dark hair behind her right ear. 

“And one of tha best detectives!” Raph interjected. 

April’s eyes glittered as her cheeks turned a deep pink. “Thanks, Red.”

“How long do we have, April?” Donnie asked, reattaching his tablet to his arm. 

She squinted slightly. “I’d say no more than an hour.”

“Alright, let’s pack it up!” Leo ordered. “Raph, get Master Splinter and whatever he wants to bring with him.” Raph was in motion before Leo was finished telling him what to do. “Donnie, only take what you need! We don’t have a whole lot of room in the van!” 

“On it! Besides,” he shrugged, “I can just find what I need later.”

Leo tucked me into his side as he turned to Mikey. “Same goes for you, Mike. Only what you need.”

“I kinda figured.” He pouted as he headed for what I assumed was his room. 

“What about you?” I asked, looking up at him.  What the hell is going on?

“I have what I need.” He said, gently squeezing me.

My whole body instantly melted. I was a sheer puddle for this man. 

“As for your earlier question, Casey said that his grandparents own a cabin about forty minutes from here.” April’s left eyebrow raised. “He texted me the directions in case he couldn’t make it here in time.” She held her phone out to Leo and he took it. 

“If they found us here, then they’ll find us there too, April.” Leo huffed, studying the map. “We can’t keep running from this.” 

“That’s true, but I also know that you guys aren’t ready to face them. Not yet.” April frowned as Leo gave her phone back. “And I know Casey damn sure isn’t ready.”

“Who?” I asked, an unfamiliar burn making its way up my middle. Who could possibly be after them? Shredder?

Leo sighed. “I’ll explain everything once we’re safe. I'm sorry this is happening just when we found one another."

“April!” Donnie shouted as he came back with a bag loaded with tech slung over his shoulder. “Do you think a huge magnetic signature had anything to do with them being able to locate us?”

“What magnetic signature?”

Donnie’s eyes landed on me and April’s widened as it dawned on her. “Um, yeah! I’d say so.”

Well shit.

@thelaundrybitch @wynndigogh

[callm3-q]

Tell the king, I dare you darling~

Bad is a little thief, and Ètoiles is a classic above average night and shining armor.

In the kingdom of Sol, run by Tubbo, and princess Sunny. When Bad, the best thief of the country quesadilla, steals something, Ètoiles has to deal with it, but, how? Maybe violence isn’t always the answer, maybe it’s Newley found love.

By the request of a lovely Anon from my Tumblr page

[Thief Bad]

[Night Etoiles]

Etoiles!

Yes, my liege

You must go deal with the pesky thief that keeps stealing from the castle grounds

Of course your majesty, if I may ask, what have they stolen?

Mostly furniture, how does one person sneak out so much furniture unnoticed?!

Ah, I will deal with this as soon as possible my liege

Thank you Etoiles

My pleasure

...

…

…

Sol Kingdom, Midnight[12 PM]

Etoiles was standing guard of the front entrance, in hopes of catching the thief in their tracks. He had tried almost all other entrances during the previous nights, most being unless attempts to catch the unknown thief.

…

He was standing guard, still, as instructed, when he heard someone.

Hello! -Bad stated as he used his grappling squawk to dangle upside-down from the roof, inches away from Etoiles face.

Etoiles couldn’t get any words out, all he could do was stair. 

I examined the possible thief in front of me, his hair was long, it was black at the top, then it faded to blond near the ends. He had a sort of cloak on, completely useless in covering anything in the position he was in. He was wearing what looked to be a… Well, sort of like a one-piece swimsuit, but way tighter. 

He looked strong, not too strong though, I could definitely beat him.

A-Are you the one who’s been stealing all the furniture?

Welllll, I guess you could say that if you really wanted to. I’d say its more, on the liberating side of things.

are you just turning yourself in?

I got bored of never being caught, so I just thought I would tease ya a bit

I could just report you to the king right now

Tell the king, I dare you darling~

His voice echoed through the castle walls, it was beautiful. His voice carried deep, reverberating of the walls in a low, seductive growl.

…-Etoiles paused as he felt his face getting red, hidden by the mask he always wears. 

Aww, quiet now aren’t ya~ That’s one way to shut someone up, anyways, back to the main topic. A little friendly banter never hurt anyone love~

Well mon chéri, how can you be so sure I will abide, and not tell the king that you were here

tell me, darling, would you do that? Hmm? -Bad said, now standing on the floor, cupping Etoiles face with his hand.

It’s my sworn duty to follow all orders given to me by his majesty, if I do not then it would break my oath to the king

Well I wouldn’t want to stay much longer then -Bad paused as he shot his grappling squawk, sticking it to the roof- See you tomorrow darling, if you find me, that is~ 

And just like that, he was gone. Etoiles felt his face heat up even more, he looked at the ground. He was mad at himself, how could he let this happen… How could he let that thief get away… 

He was right there…He wasn’t even trying to get away! He was literally just dangling right in front of my fucking nose…

Etoiles took off his mask, and moved his some-what ‘long’ hair out of his face.

It wasn’t too long, but it could be considered long to most male’s on the castle ground. But in his defense he hasn’t had the time to get a proper haircut in a while.

He wiped the sweat from his forehead, it wasn’t even hot in the castle. It was cold, a little too cold for comfort. He let his hair fall back onto his face with a sigh, a sigh of disappointment. He couldn’t tell for what the disappointment was for, the fact that he didn’t catch the pesky thief that was right there, or… The fact that said thief left so soon…

5:30 AM[Early Morning]

Etoiles!

Y-Yes… my liege

Did you catch that thief yet

N-No your majesty… I am doing my best your highness…

Catch them soon Etoiles

Yes sir…

10:00 PM

Etoiles was standing guard, the same place as the night before.

‘If you find me, that is’

Etoiles contemplated going to look for the thief, he wanted to, but doing so would mean leaving his position. Which he would consider a highly frowned upon thing to do… Ah fuck it, it would be worth it wouldn’t it? Getting to see- Catch, the thief.

So Etoiles left his assigned position and went to look for the thief, looking through every hallway and corridor.

Eventually he found the thief, sitting upside down with his head dangling off the front of the couch.

Oh! You actually came to find me? If I had known you we’re actually coming I would have found a better spot -Bad stated, getting off of the couch

Eh- Yeah… -Etoiles could already feel his face heating up, much to his dismay, he hadn’t even done anything… - Uhm… I-I was wondering if I could get your name, I won’t tell the king, you have my word

…Ok, I’m trusting you… You can call me Bad

Bad, ok. My name is Etoiles

Etoiles… That’s a really pretty name

T-thank you… -Etoiles felt his face heating up more, he wasn’t used to getting complimented

It’s my pleasure, just stating the truth, a beautiful name for a absolutely stunning man~

Bad took a couple steps closer to Etoiles, grabbing his forearm gently.

‘I can’t take this anymore… He’s teasing me a purpose isn’t he! Whatever… what matters right now, is that he is right in front of me, I can do whatever I want.’

Etoiles grabbed Bad by his waist, quickly pulling him into a long, drawn out kiss. Bad quickly reciprocated, he wanted this to happen, didn’t he.

Etoiles pulled away, still holding Bad close.

Are you gonna go and lock me away now -Bad stated, out of breath- I’m right here, you could just lock me up right now

Why would I do that -Etoiles said, in a low hum

I thought that was what you wanted to do

I never intended on locking you away, Mon chéri -Etoiles whispered, pulling Bad into another kiss.

[vaxyl]

14 year old me deserved better

we shouldn't have been bullied, our parents shouldn't have emotionally neglected us, we shouldn't have been allowed free reign on the internet

i have irreversible trauma all because my parents didn't understand the difference between giving shelter & food to someone and real parenting

i felt abandoned and unloved and pushed away and hated

i felt utterly worthless to, and unwanted by, the very people who had fought to have me

my parents went through IVF to have me, you know, and yet my whole life I've never really felt loved or wanted by them

i ended up so alone and scared i fell into an older person's trap and was hurt in ways that i didn't understand back then

i felt so broken and discarded, like i truly had nothing left to give to anyone else

it really fucked me up

i understand how this all happened and it sickens me

i hate that some parents hate their children and hurt them internationally, i hate that some parents don't know love and therefore can't give it to their own children in the future

i hate that people refuse to accept that girls can be evil and predatory, i hate that we treat victims as criminals even if they "followed every rule"

its no wonder i gave up on my education in the end

its no wonder i stopped living

im stuck and I feel helpless

i was talking to people, I was getting help, I was making progress (and technically i still am but not in ways that truly help in the long run) but it got too overwhelming and i just fucking shut down again

i feel trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me

it never did and never will

i feel trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and sickness and exhaustion

5 10 15 20 25 30

i feel so fucking stuck

so fucking done

i woke up at 6am today and i couldn't fall back asleep

i trued writing it off, literally by writing fanfiction, and I've refreshed tumblr and twitter so many times since I woke up that in kind of sick of them

its now 8am and I feel dead

but not energy wise

just emotionally unwound

I'll probably feel better after i have some water and talk to my boyfriend, knowing me

but i wanted to talk about how just fucked everything feels

i feel like a vase someone smashed into smithereens and that was put back together with paper mache and string

her name kills me almost every time I see or hear it now

i think i might hate myself less than her these days, honestly

she stole my innocence and my trust and my childish love

she robbed me of a colour, of a book series, of a movie, of a flower and of so much more

she probably doesn't even remember me anymore, if she's still alive after everything

i don't know what I'd prefer

5 10 15 20 25 30

would i rather she got help and found love and happiness?

would i rather the opposite?

i feel too tired to care

she's not the last, nor am i certain she was truly the first

but she ruined me in ways nobody else could dream to

she left a sickness in my veins that i cant get rid of

its almost become lovely

i would miss it if it were gone

the hate is ugly and hisses, but i take comfort in its heat

maybe i am broken, maybe she broke me, maybe

i woke up today with terrible thoughts of things i dont want to do to myself or to others

thats fucked up

i can't remember if i was always like this or if she did this

maybe its both

5 10 15 20 25 30

all i know is that im tired

i want to stop hurting

i want to stop being scared

i want to stop being angry

i want to stop being sad

i want to stop being so tired

i just want to live and love

i love people, i do

i hate feeling such strong hatred that im not so sure is even really my own

i just want to be happy

i feel sick

[onigiri-dorkk]

rivamika is my guilty pleasure but i know how the aot fandom is.. they can be brutal. have you had to deal with rivamika haters? i hope not 😭

Sweet fandom friend!! The AOT fandom can be harsh and frustrating, and I’ve seen fellow fandom people get bullied into leaving (sadly, it’s real), but I found a lot of solace coming here to the Tumblr #rivamika tags and connecting with others who love this ship. It’s something we’re all thankful for since everywhere else we get hate.

Tbh though I haven’t really dealt with a ton of intense haters. Yes, there are heated Twitter threads or a straggler hater who lurks our tag (and we also have… one Rivamika fan here…. who is a thorn in our flesh bc he harasses and accuses people of not being a rivamika purist lmfao… hELP). But it’s gotten to the point where when they come around we all just?? Roll our eyes?? Spit some facts real quick then leave it be LOL

I will say I have been lucky in that I haven’t received any hate comments or anything, especially on my writing/stories, which I’m actually extremely surprised about considering how blatant I am about my love for Rivamika on a place like AOT Twitter. You’d think the crazies would show up by now but hey, I am not complaining 😂

So technically yes there are always haters, but you kinda just learn to deal with them and it makes it easier to shrug it off when you have a whole safe community who will defend you and support you through it. No one should give anyone shit for what they like (especially from a fictional world!) and if they don’t like it, they can choose to ignore or not consume something. It takes so much time and effort to actively hate on something, when that time and effort could be spent in whatever ship or series makes them happy.

Another thing I’ll say is I’ve noticed a lot of Rivamika writers/artists/creators in the fandom rn have developed a strong backbone and I think it’s because 1) being a Rivamika fan comes with all the hate but 2) we know we have each other and that the positivity outweighs the negativity. Simply put we don’t give a FUCK 😂 And it has given us a sense of freedom to just enjoy this space.

And honestly doesn’t that feel very… Rivamika? 😂 In all our stories we know that Levi and Mikasa would know that their love would draw bad opinions, but knowing them they wouldn’t give a damn, would they? They saved the world and if anyone has an issue with it, Levi would tell them to fuck off and would go home to enjoy time w Mikasa LOL. LETS CHANNEL THAT ENERGY

If you like Rivamika, please enjoy it with us! It’s a fantastic ship, isn’t it? 🤍 The nervousness around being in this corner of the fandom is totally normal too btw. I felt all the same things when I first jumped on this ship and look at me now 😂 Shameless and happy! If you ever want to spill all your rivamika feelings my DMs/asks are always open, anon or not!

[mysteroads]

Chapter 5: A Bit of Mayhem

I really enjoyed this chapter, so I'm posting it here for people to enjoy! Family fun and mayhem for everyone! (You can click the link for a more reader-friendly format than dear ol' Tumblr.)

Summary: Lydia's plan goes into action.

Friday afternoon was HOT. 

Summer had dropkicked Spring all the way into next year, and now was hovering over Winter Pines, rubbing its hands together and laughing maniacally. Heat haze shimmered constantly, the black top had turned into a tar pit, what bits of shade that could be found were pale shadows of their former selves, and the telephone poles along main street had begun to wilt. It was so hot that even the jingle of the ice cream truck sounded like a cry for mercy.

“Kid,” Beetlejuice said, drooping as he followed Lydia home. “You have got to let me teleport you. I’m a corpse. I’m going to start rotting in this heat.”

Lydia held her nose. “You sure you haven’t already?”

Rolling his eyes, he stretched his arm out so he could flick her forehead. “Oh ha-ha. Just for that, I’m going to take over the garbage truck and unload it right into your bedroom window. Then you’ll know the truth about stench."

“You could take off your coat, maybe loosen your tie?” He clutched at his coat and she sighed. “Or not. You do realize I have no intention of stealing your stinky old coat, right? I don’t think the even most desperate homeless person out there would even consider it as an option. Heck, I wouldn’t let an undead cat have undead kittens on it!”

He frowned at her. “Okay. Hurtful.”

"Truthful. Your whole outfit could use a wash even more than you.”

Grumbling, he folded his arms and went into a sulk. Lydia matched his silence until they got to the house. Her gaze moved to the window. Yes, there it was. A bright blue crystal set on the sill. That was the signal that all was prepared. 

“I’m going to go change into something cooler,” she said, quickly dumping her bag and shoes and heading for the stairs. “Why don’t you raid the freezer?”

He brightened. “Popsicles?”

“Why not? It’s the day for it.” 

Humming happily, Beetlejuice drifted into the kitchen and started poking around in the freezer. Finding his prize, he pulled the wrapper off, ate that, then stuck the popsicle in his mouth. Even though he was alone for the moment, (where were Delia and the Maitlands anyway?) he amused himself by wrapping his long tongue around the popsicle in a suggestive manner, and then giggling as he imagined everyone’s reaction. 

Someone cleared their throat behind him and he forced himself not to tense. God/Satan he needed to get over this ‘not liking people behind me’ thing. Sure, he’d never felt comfortable with anyone behind him, but after the whole ‘bad art’ incident, it gave him knots in his stomach like he was going to puke— He should get over it. 

Taking a breath, he put a grin on his face and gave the popsicle an extra innuendo-inducing lick as he turned. “Adam… hey s— my man. How ya been?” 

Adam gave him what he could only describe as a sheepish smile. “Sorry about this. Have fun, okay?”

“Wha—?” Before he could finish his question, the backdoor flew open behind him and Adam gave him a ghost-powered shove. 

Beetlejuice was unprepared, which was the only reason he went flying. And being unprepared was the only reason he hit the grass on his back, plowing up a furrow of dirt, instead of landing on his feet or doing a backflip, as he definitely would’ve done under any other circumstance. That was his story, and he would stick to it.

Groaning, Beetlejuice started to sit up when a shadow fell over him. It was Charles, wearing a dingy t-shirt, those dad sandals that were one step short of flip-flops, and… green swim shorts? The fuck? He was also wearing a huge grin. That was unusual, but it wasn’t what set alarm bells ringing through Beetlejuice’s head. What got the alarm bells going was the absolutely enormous water gun pointed right at his chest.

Still smiling, Charles pulled the slide on the gun and said, “You have to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well do ya, punk?”

Beetlejuice had barely enough time to register that Charles was not only quoting Dirty Harry, but quoting it correctly, before he got blasted.

Swearing, he tried to get away, completely forgetting that he was a demon with powers stupid humans could only dream of. 

“BJ! Over here!” 

Delia’s voice got his attention and he looked to see her around the corner of the house. She was laughing! But she was also waving to him, urging him over, and all he wanted was to get away from the ungodly amount of water being sprayed on him, so he teleported. 

“Cheater!” Charles shouted as he reappeared next to Delia.

Still laughing, Delia used a towel to wipe his face, then pushed something into his hands. “I’m nicer than Charles. I’ll give you a ten second head start.”

“What?!” He looked down to find himself holding a super soaker (not as big as Charles’s, though). Another look showed that Delia was in a tie-dye bikini and a crochet cover-up, and was duel-wielding two water pistols. Normally, he would’ve made a comment, but he was kept from doing so by another stream of water. This one wasn’t aimed at him though, and Delia shrieked, dancing in place as Charles roared with laughter. She whirled on her fiancée, guns held sideways, gangster style.

“Oh, I’ll get you for that, Charles!”

Taking advantage of the distraction, Beetlejuice dashed off, still not knowing what in hellgates was going on. His confusion was compounded as he saw Lydia jumping out her window.  

He scrambled to catch her, only to realize that Barbara had beat him to it and was lowering the girl down. Both women saw him and started laughing. 

“I see the fight’s begun already!” Lydia shouted, and raised her own gun—which looked bigger than she was— and pointed it right at him as she floated. “Prepare for annihilation.”

“Not you too!” he wailed, back peddling and just barely avoiding the shot she took at him. The grass was already slippery, and the tread on his boots was so worn it was like running across a marble floor in socks. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“It’s hot, you doofus! We’re cooling off! Fight back!”

“What?!”

“Delia gave you your gun. Point and shoot, or surrender now.” Lydia landed, gave Barbara a thumbs up, then turned to Beetlejuice. Her smile frightened him and he found himself clutching his gun to himself like a shield and backing up. She must’ve seen his confused fear, because, more gently, she said, “This is supposed to be fun, BJ. Just a little bit of mayhem to beat the heat. A water fight.” She motioned to herself and the swimsuit she wore. “You have to have seen water fights before, right?”

Water fights?

He looked down at the gun, then back at her, and the smile she wore was suddenly less ominous. He knew what her fake smile looked like, he reminded himself. Lydia actually was a pretty terrible liar. She was smiling like she had when they were haunting the house, or singing during their revenge concert. Like she was… having fun. Not like she had when she’d come back from the Netherworld with a plan for murder.

Okay, so this was just playing? He heard Delia and Charles laughing behind him, and relaxed some more. They laughed like that while playing games, or cooking, or even cleaning the house sometimes.

This was playing.

He looked back down at his water gun again, smiled, and brought it to bear— and immediately got hit in the face. Sputtering, he swiped the water from his eyes and laughed, really laughed. “Oh you little nerk! It is on!”

“Bring it, bug boy!”

Beetlejuice had just managed to score a hit when both he and Lydia were ambushed by Charles and Delia, who had teamed up. The next few minutes were filled with chaos, which was right up his alley once he got used to the idea that he wasn’t the only cause. Didn’t mean he couldn’t be a major contributor though. 

Beetlejuice pulled off a fantastic slide through Charles’s legs, then shot him right in the butt. Charles yelped and did a most undignified dance, and Delia laughed so hard she fell down, which made her easy prey for Lydia. 

“You know what would make this even more awesome?” Beetlejuice asked, getting to his feet and holding his gun up like an action star. The three Deetz’s eyes widened in horror as Beetlejuice answered his own question: “MORE ME!”

The clones poofed into being, all of them holding some form of water gun. One next to Lydia tried to squirt her, only to find that his gun was empty. It glared at Beetlejuice and stamped its foot, gesturing toward the gun then at Lydia. Obviously, it felt cheated. She started to giggle, but kindly refrained from shooting the unarmed.

“I can’t make food or drink, remember? Go fill those up.” Beetlejuice pointed to the kiddie pool they’d been using for fast refills (and a dunking pond). There was a mass scramble in that direction. Delia tried to cut them off, only to get squirted by Beetlejuice. “Oh no you don’t! You people wanted some mayhem, so I’m going to make sure you get mayhem!”

“I’m on Beetlejuice’s side now!” Lydia shouted, defecting to the side with overwhelming numbers like the smart girl she was.

“Traitor,” Charles accused. “I buy you pizza and this is how you repay me?”

She brought her gun up. “Sorry Dad, but there is no loyalty in— Wait, you bought pizza?”

“Of course. We’re going to be hungry after this. Delivery should arrive in half an hour. Also, no betrayal take backs.” He soaked her from head to toe while she squealed and laughed. By that point, the clones had their guns ready to go and everything devolved into PVP.

Barbara watched Beetlejuice… playing, there was no other word for it, and could barely believe the difference. It was as if he’d shed some invisible, uncomfortable weight, and was now free to act like a… a person, not a demon. Soaked to the bone, hair and suit plastered to his skin, he laughed like a little kid as he scooped up a flailing Delia and dropped her in the kiddie pool, only to get pulled in after her. The splash as he hit the water was too big to be natural, because it managed to get both Charles and Lydia, who were standing a fair distance away. 

Delia and Beetlejuice both sat in the middle of the pool, leaning on each other, almost paralyzed by the cold water and their own laughter, but Beetlejuice didn’t hesitate at all when Charles offered him a hand up. He also didn’t hesitate to join Charles in hunting down Lydia after she sniped them both from behind some bushes.

Was this the Beetlejuice Lydia saw and loved so much? The one who had haunted their house with her, helped her play school-wide pranks, and practiced music and dancing with her? It must be. In that moment, Barbara understood why Lydia had chosen this particular method to bring the ‘family’ together. What better method to get a mischievous demon to let his guard down than to play a mischievous game?

She felt Adam put an arm around her waist and she leaned against him, both of them watching their family playing outside. Their job had been to keep the doors and windows shut so Beetlejuice couldn’t escape inside, but that didn’t look like it was going to be an issue anymore. He was having too much fun.

Beetlejuice summoned his clones and Adam kissed the top of her head, then chuckled. “Looks like it’s our turn.”

Lydia had wanted to make sure that the Maitlands were included in the fun and games today, and they had told her not to worry, that they’d be fine watching. What they hadn’t told her was that they had a scheme of their own. 

Giggling, Barbara took a leaf from a certain demon’s book and said, “It’s Showtime!” 

Beetlejuice, almost out of ‘ammo’ and on his way to get a refill, was the first to spot the garden hose uncoiling itself. It had been left in the kiddie pool, and none of them paid any attention to it except to make sure it was on enough to keep the pool full. 

Stunned, all he could do was stare, mouth agape, as the hose rose up like a particularly large and skinny snake. Then the tap turned and the hose hit him full blast. He tried to get away, slipped, and ate dirt.

“Holy shit! Retreat!” he shouted, or tried to shout. It came out more of a gurgle. Since he was facedown in muddy grass, he wasn’t witness to much, but he could hear the Deetz yelling and he felt his clones’ alarm as their weapons ran dry. Shaking his eyes clear of mud, he looked around and saw that they’d all been rounded up.

The sound of laughter directed his attention to the roof, and he was in for his third big shock that day, and probably the biggest of all. The freaking Maitlands were on the roof, Adam obviously directing the actions of the hose snake, but what was Barbara up to? His question was answered as she raised her arms and a veritable swarm of water balloons rose into the air.

“Blitz!” he hollered, just before the swarm descended.

As a fat, pink balloon splashed all over him, he discovered that these were no ordinary water balloons. They had bubbles in them. Was that even a thing? How was that possible? He sneezed and a bunch of bubbles flew away. It was so ridiculous he started laughing again, and used his magic to give the bubbles a boost so that when the next balloon hit Lydia, she resembled a snowman in an instant. 

This brought a whole new element to the game, and he couldn’t help but urge more bubbles into being, until the backyard was awash in them. The smallest of the clones and Lydia were actually able to army crawl under and through the mess, and they, along with Adam’s hose snake, became everyone else’s nemesis. 

Finally, actually tired for once, Beetlejuice sat down amidst the sea of bubbles, still chuckling as his clones vanished one by one with a flourish and a bow. 

Delia waded over to him, smiling broadly. “Tuckered out? Perfect timing. Pizza should be here soon, and we don’t want to give them a reason to take us off their delivery list again. Would you mind clearing this away, sweetie?”

Sweetie. Trying to ignore how being called by an actual pet name made him feel all fuzzy inside, he waved a hand at the frothy bubbles, sending the lot flying away in a strong breeze. Rule Three, after all. Clean up after yourself.

Charles had taken possession of the hose and was using it to rinse himself and Lydia free of bubbles. “Come over here, you two,” he called. Delia pulled Beetlejuice back to his feet and they obediently went over to get rinsed. 

“Did you have fun, Beej?” Lydia asked. 

Slicking his hair away from his face, he grinned at her. “Yeah actually. When did you come up with this, you little chaos gremlin?”

“Earlier this week. The news said a heatwave was going to hit today, and it had been a long time since I had a good water fight, so I figured it would be fun for everyone.” She looked up at the Maitlands, who were sitting on the edge of the roof, obviously pleased with themselves, and laughed. “They got me though. I wonder where they got all those water balloons from!”

He put a hand on his hip and followed her gaze, squinting up at the two ghosts. Then he smiled and waved for Charles to wait a minute with the hose. “You know, they should get the whole experience. Just to be fair.”

Barbara and Adam were watching the bubbles, still visible in the distance, and wondering how far they’d drift, when there was a pop! of displaced air in front of them. Beetlejuice appeared, floating and grinning ear to ear.

“Hey Adam, remember that Flashdance bit I did when we first met?” Reaching up, he pulled an invisible rope, and all the remaining water from the kiddie pool was dumped on top of them.

It had been more than a month since either Maitland had experienced the sensation of being wet, and a lot longer than that since they’d been soaked while fully dressed. It had also been a long time since they’d really experienced temperature. Having cold water dumped over them was a shock, to say the very least

Barbara managed a tiny shriek, while Adam just gasped and coughed. Once the flood had stopped, they shook water out of their eyes, looked at each other, then burst out laughing. 

“Oh my goodness!” Adam laughed, grinning broadly. He turned his smile on Beetlejuice, who seemed startled by this reaction. “How did you do that?”

“Uh, I dunno? I just do it.” Beetlejuice eyed them both warily. “You guys could do it too. It’s in the damn Handbook. Like, chapter seven. Re-uniting the state of immaterial with that of the material plane through the application of conviction and expectation."

“Thank you. And thanks for the tip,” Adam said encouragingly. 

“Yeah, sure.” Giving them a last confused look, he vanished, reappearing down with the rest of the family.

Adam turned to her, still smiling, and pushed hair away from her face. “That was refreshing. We should give those chapters another try tonight!”

“We’ll do that,” Barbara agreed. They sat, enjoying themselves, then a thought occurred to her. “Um, Adam? How are we going to dry off?”

Notes: Buy a water gun and soak someone you love today.

[undeadorion-archive]

This is something that I probably should have said publicly years ago. It's now too late to matter to anyone but myself, but I need it to be public. About what happened between me and my ex, Genue. I don't know what her current usernames are, and I only partially remember her old one (heart broken something or other).

Gen and I met through a friend-of-a-friend chain after a friend and I ended up an RP group at the peak of Avengers fandom. I adored Gen's art, but didn't have a lot of contact with her at first. She wasn't quite Big Name Fan levels of popularity, but she was pretty high up there, so I was afraid to even speak to her at first. But eventually we ended up talking and hit it off really well.

This was around like 2013 maybe. I was quite possibly at my lowest around then, so all it took to win me over was the smallest amount of positive attention. I had zero confidence, and maximum anxiety. I was at the heaviest I've ever been and was well into a developing binge eating disorder. I was desperately trying to find work as a comic colorist after being screwed over by a terrible publisher. I was not in a good place.

So even though I'm primarily interested in men, when someone I admired wanted a relationship with me, I was so overwhelmed I agreed to explore it. And that was my first mistake. There were redflags galore, including how her family treated me, but I ignored them.

She coerced me into sexual activities over voice calls. I didn't want to do it at first, but she kept pushing. So I agreed. I never discussed that with her, though. I was very much in people pleaser mode and wanted her to keep liking me. So I didn't want to tell her no in any way.

When she came to visit, she wanted to get immediately to the sex. Which felt really fucking weird. I picked her up at the airport. And when we barely but our luggage down at the hotel, she wanted to get into the shower together. It was a lot.

But this isn't just about being pressured into sex.

Eventually we moved in together. Or rather she moved out of her parents house in California to live with me in Portland. At first things were good, even if she wanted to do things I was either incapable of or didn't want to do.

The biggest sticking point was the initial arrangement of our desks in the living room. It was summer, so I took a spot near the window to be cooler and she took the opposite corner. But that was a problem come winter, because the heater was on the wall behind me, and she was against the furthest wall. Too much heat makes me sick and she insisted being too cold makes her sick. But for some reason she absolutely refused to allow anything to be rearranged. Now I know the heat doesn't just make me sick, it gives me asthma attacks.

The rent, bills and expenses were another issue. I was barely scraping by on commission and comic work. I'd tell her how much we each needed to contribute that month. Every single month she came up short, wouldn't tell me until the last minute and just think it would be okay to not pay the rest. When our electricity got shut off due to being so far behind she got pissed at me because she insisted I didn't tell her how bad it was. Despite telling her every month how far behind we were and how much we needed to catch up.

Once I even put a chart on the fridge about how much everyone owed every month. Her and the other roommates insisted it was "unfair" because it showed I was paying more. Even though it was the amounts we agreed on.

But it wasn't just interpersonal stuff. I found out after we already lived together that she was deeply into shipping Thor and Loki. Specifically adult Thor and Kid Loki. She admitted that a tumblr account she'd had before I met her was banned from tumblr for drawing underaged smut.

Then there was the suspected scamming. She insisted that she was locked out of her paypal account so she had to use mine. I agreed because I thought it was a temporary thing until she got hers fixed. She never fixed it. She claimed it was because of an address mis-match, which isn't something I've ever encountered, but should be easily fixable with a phone call or email with documentation. It didn't bother me too much, because the money she got went into my account so I could use it directly to pay bills or buy groceries. That is, until I started getting emails. Someone saying they hadn't heard back from Gen despite trying to contact her many times. They paid for a commission months before. Every time I'd ask her, she'd insist she never received an email from them. If it was just once, I wouldn't have thought anything of it. But there was more than one. And every single time, it was the same story. Ghosted after paying for a commission, oops emails were lost.

Quite some time after we broke up, a person I sort of knew had tried to file a complaint through paypal, but it was like 6 months too late. The egregious amount of time had me very suspicious of what was happening so I contacted the person. If I'd had the funds myself, I would have gladly refunded them. And their story was the same as the others. Paid for a large commission, then got ghosted. They'd tried messaging and contacting Gen every possible way and never got a response. So I tweeted at her to fix it because it wasn't my issue to handle. I didn't accuse her of anything, I just said "this person contacted me with this issue about your commission." And she was PISSED that I hadn't contacted her privately. Well, if your email keeps losing emails, how can I trust that route?

At one point, she started to demand that I eat more healthy. My habits were awful at the time, but she just kept saying "eat better" and offered no help. I'd ask her what I should do, and she had nothing to offer. When I asked what I should get at the store, she just said she wanted pistachio ice cream. Never anything healthy.

Oh. The groceries. Even when I had to get a full time jobs just to keep the lights on, I was the one always doing the shopping. We didn't have a car, so I'd have to walk there and back. I'd often steal a cart and take it back the next day. She never offered to stop at the store on her way home from somewhere. She never went on her own. She wouldn't even go with me. One day it was snowing pretty hard and I got my period (this was before I transitioned). The cramps were so bad I felt ill. And she refused to go get me pads because it was too cold outside. So I was left to trudge through the snow, in pain. Cold and movement made the pain worse, too. But if she had so much as the sniffles, she'd put on the baby voice and ask me to get her treats from the store.

The only thing I asked of her was that she helped me carry the groceries in when I got home. Specifically that she keep her phone nearby while I was gone so I could text her when I was at the bottom of the stairs, so I wouldn't have to risk leaving a cart full of groceries in the parking lot while I ran up to get her. All while a single flight of stairs was enough to launch me into a full asthma attack. And needing to do that multiple times. But she acted like I was making an unreasonable demand of her to watch for a text.

She'd get super irritated over cultural differences and act like I was forcing mine on her. She wanted me to watch some soccer game where the announcers spoke exclusively Spanish. I don't speak Spanish, I have negative interest in sports, and I was trying to get work done. She wanted to do holiday activities that required either large numbers of people or highly specific details that I didn't know how to do. I told her we could do them but she'd have to be the one to put it together or teach me what to do. And that was a bad thing on my part some how. Or me simply not liking certain foods she put together. Like a salad that was just bananas, canned beets, and peanuts. I don't like beets and I couldn't eat peanuts at the time because of my bad teeth. I asked her to show me how to make tamales and she said it was too complicated and I'd never be able to learn. Years later, I taught myself how to fold and wrap them in about 10 minutes.

Her mom made and sold these flower gel things and she wanted to do them here and sell them at a local market. So I said "okay, but you have to tell me what you need and teach me how to do it." I even looked into what we needed to get a booth. And she acted like I wasn't doing enough and it was my fault we never did it. Mind you, she never told me even the supplies she'd need let alone how to do it.

Then there's her mother. Oh lord. One day her mom was visiting and they picked me up after a full day of work to go to Ikea, which was nearly an hour's drive away. I was already fighting fatigue and asthma on a good day, and now I was exhausted on top of it. I needed to stop to take a break because I felt like I was going to pass out. So when I sat down, her mother lectured me, and basically called me lazy. Because of how much she'd achieved in her life. Something about being a gymnast and breaking bones and all of the jobs she had. And it was somehow a moral failing on my part I couldn't keep up with her.

One of the moments that made me realize that there was a narrative on Gen's part that I was completely unaware of was when I got that job. Despite my not asking for it, she insisted on making a huge batch of tamales for me to take in for my lunch every day. But she was making multiple kinds and stressed herself out doing it. And somewhere along the way she'd come to the conclusion that it was my fault that she was working so hard in the kitchen. While doing something I never asked her to do. Something she wouldn't let me help with. And something she refused to teach me so I could help.

But one of the most telling things is that Gen refused to leave me alone. It's why in the end I didn't push her to the shopping because then I had an excuse to leave as long as I wanted. If I got overwhelmed by something, and took my laptop into the bedroom where it was quiet, she'd immediately follow and insist on talking to me. I just wanted to sit in the quiet. I needed to be able to focus in order to get any work done. Fully shut the world out levels of focus. I told her this, frequently. It especially irritated me if someone intentionally dragged me out of that focus for things that weren't even mildly important. She'd be watching TV and wave her hands at me to say "did you see that?" or other commentary. When I wasn't watching. Or worse was stuff like "I just wanted to say hi." When I didn't have a job we were together 24/7. I only needed that focus when I was actually working. We'd spend time sitting together on the couch watching stuff together. But my need for a work schedule didn't matter to her and she refused to respect even that simple boundary.

Another weird thing is that she refused to let me do dishes or clean the kitchen. It was the most neglected part of our apartment. Like rotting vegetables in the pantry, sink overflowing with dishes level. And if I went into the kitchen with the intent to clean, she'd physically block my path (her desk was right next to the kitchen). Remember this for what happens later.

At one point, she came down with a mystery illness of fatigue and pain (something I understood quite well even then). So I told her to rest. I had a full time job at that time, so we'd be okay on money if she took some time off. But she insisted on doing a livestream where she did sketches for donations and somehow insisted I was forcing her to work while she was sick. Mind you, I was slowly grinding myself to dust just to keep us afloat. Like ending up at urgent care levels of burnout. But she was the one being forced to work while sick. When I told her specifically not to.

Then there were the friends she'd bring over. They almost unanimously hated me for reasons I couldn't identify. I now suspect Gen was talking about me behind my back, but I have nothing to prove that beyond the way these people I barely knew treated me. But these friends included people like IronSpike and BeesMyGod, who each have their own....reputations in certain circles. At first I made sure I wasn't trying to work so I could be part of the conversation. But they basically pushed me out of it. In my own home. At times it felt like I wasn't allowed to speak. Or what I said was judged as harshly as possible, and dismissed. For the longest time, I thought it was just my anxiety talking. Everything was probably fine. That is, until she brought in the infamous Audrey Redpath. Then it became very obviously not my imagination. I'd start speaking, and Audrey would interrupt me about 80%. It was maddening. I tried talking to Gen about it, and she went full gaslight and said it wasn't happening.

One of these friends also told me it wasn't possible to be abused in any fashion by someone you only knew online, and Gen took her side. The friend insisted there needed to be a physical component for the abuse to be real. Which is just flat out untrue.

Then came the actual breakup. Gen went to see her family in California for 2 weeks in August of 2015. And for the first time since she moved in, I had a nice, long, uninterrupted time alone. It was the time in which I figured out I was trans. At the time it was the most liberating thing to finally accept. Which made it a wee bit awkward when Gen came home with rather feminine gifts for me. Gifts that even in the moment were very much her style and not at all mine.

I knew that when I told her I was trans, it might take some adjustment time. But I wasn't expecting her to be disgusted. Like I tried to hold her hand and she'd rip it away levels disgusted. Then she told me she wanted to break up. I'd not felt comfortable in the relationship for a good long time, so I was okay with that. I even said I was okay continuing to live together until we figured something else out. I was even going to move my desk into my room so she could have the living room to herself (she'd brought the couch with her, and the bed was mine). And yet she had a total breakdown saying that I was somehow forcing her to move out. When was I going to be looped into that decision?

Foolishly, I tried to reason with her and talk through it. She made wild claims about things I'd supposedly done. Remember that being barred from the kitchen thing? Yeah, she said I was forcing her to be my personal maid. Remember the state of the kitchen? She insisted she spent hours every morning just to clean the kitchen because I supposedly refused to do it. I'm not the best at keeping up with dishes, but she physically wouldn't let me do them.

She cited the fact that I "refused" to eat better on her command as part of why she was breaking up with me. Remember how she never did anything to help and just insisted I do it?

When I tried to tell her most of my issues that were actually true (like me not wanting to have sex anymore) were due to dysphoria, depression and anxiety, she called me selfish. And yet she thought I'd just let her keep a phone that I was still paying for (both service and device). I didn't even ask for it immediately and told her to get her own phone plan and to return it to me when she had a replacement. I didn't make her hand it over before she left. But she painted it as me leaving her without a phone.

Though it may seem so, I don't think she dumped me because I was trans. But rather because in coming out I displayed so much more confidence. People who resort so easily to gaslighting hate confidence, because that makes it harder for their tactics to work. I can't say for sure that's what happened, as she claims her family convinced her to break up with me. But she didn't have an issue with me after she came back from her visit until I came out to her.

I'm certain she's told people out there some monstrous things about me. Told them at all the things she gaslit me on were actually true. She so badly wanted me to be a bad person, she insisted I did things that were the polar opposite of what I actually did or said. Not just to other people, but to my face. I genuinely don't know if she was doing it on purpose, or if she'd somehow convinced herself of the things she claimed. But there's no more blatant gaslighting than telling someone "Hey, it's okay. There's no rush. You can take as long as you need. You don't even have to move out" and having them respond with screaming "You're forcing me to move out!"

I unfortunately don't have any receipts for any of this. It's purely my word against hers. And even the most recent events (the post-breakup paypal incident) happened over five years ago. But finding out just how severely bad my asthma really is, and how much its impacted my life has had me thinking about everything that happened. How badly she treated me. At the time we broke up, I was too afraid to say anything. She had a lot of influence over the circles I was in, and I was pretty sure no one would believe me. Or worse, they'd come after me for speaking out. Especially since she had a lot of friends with large followings. But I'm over that. And I'm over staying quiet and playing nice.

Gen treated me like garbage and lied to people about what I did. She pressured me into sex and gaslit me for years. She possibly scammed people, using my name to do it. She was ableist and fatphobic. She dragged my name through the mud to the point that I likely have no hope of ever being part of the local scene of comic artists (especially webcomics).

[yeetmeoutthewindowdaddy]

It didn't feel like a call out at all! I am so sorry if I seemed heated in my reblog, I was actually really excited to talk about it!

I put the blurb about 'not needing a reason to not have kids other than not wanting them' for the people on this site who read into things and assume the worst, I wanted to calm them down before they got heated over nothing. That was not directed to you at all. I'm sorry if it felt that way!

Also, I'm sorry I didn't reply to this before, for some reason Tumblr didn't show me this reblog? I only found it because of your wonderful dm to me reiterating how you weren't trying to call me out. (Which I truly appreciate 😊) I checked out your blog after I responded to you, and scrolling though it is how I found this reblog. I have no fucking idea how tumblr works tbh.

I'm on mobile-- not the app, I'm using a web browser to post most of my stuff. 🥲

And I totally get you! I've been childfree for as long as I can remember. Before I knew not having kids was an option I would dread thinking about the day I'd have to have kids. Then I found out that I didn't have to have kids if I got married, and I was so happy.

The lack of media representation for happily partnered couples who are childfree by choice, is improving, is lacking.

I feel a bit territorial over Gale being childfree. I don't hold any contempt for anyone who wants dadkarious, and some of what I see for dadkarious is cute af, I am just starved for a romantic family man who doesn't want kids as a simp option.

Y'all ever think about how Gale has daddy issues?

Y'all ever think about how Gale is very close to his mother?

Y'all ever think about how Gale deeply admires and respects his mother?

Y'all ever think about how Gale and Tara only talk about his mother, and not his father?

Y'all ever think about how the way Gale's father is seemingly, purposefully, never specifically mentioned implies that he walked out on Gale and Morena when Gale was young?

Y'all ever think about how Elminster was a young Gale's replacement father figure? (Gale was 8)

Y'all ever think about how Elminster, hopefully unintentionally, primed Gale for Mystra's grooming/abuse?

Y'all ever think about how Elminster used to be Mystra's lover?

Y'all ever think about how Gale was also Mystra's lover?

Y'all ever think about the fact that Gale knows Elminster used to be Mystra's lover?

Y'all ever think about how it was Elminster who told Gale that their ex-lover, and their literal goddess, wanted him to kill himself?

Y'all ever think about how the way Elminster told Gale their ex wanted him to kill himself was the Faerun equivalent of a video call?

Y'all ever think about how Elminster couldn't even be assed to deliver the "request" to Gale in person? (He used a simuclarion? Idk how to spell it, basically a shadow clone)

Y'all ever think about how Gale has never had a stable, healthy, normal, loving, relationship with a father figure?

Y'all ever think about how deeply and intensely Gale feels his emotions and feelings?

Y'all ever think about how Gale says he thinks he'd make a horrible father?

Y'all ever think about why Gale thinks that he wouldn't be a good father?

Y'all ever speculate on how Gale's reluctance to see himself in a paternal role might have something to do with everything mentioned above?

Because I do.

[jamespotters-realwife]

reader X !injured_Eddie Munson

(This is my first piece on tumblr so like sorry if it’s shit idk)

Warnings: hints at enemies to lovers, fingering(f receiving)

I ran to Steve’s house, wondering why I was getting multiple walkie talkie calls to go to Steve’s house without any explanation. I went to knock on the front door but before I could the door swung open and Robin yanked me into the house. She slammed the door shut. “Did you get the stuff?” She asked. “Yeah, I got the stuff.” I said, holding up my backpack. Before I could ask anymore questions she pulled me by my arms and down the stairs to the basement.

As soon as I got down there I was greeted by Dustin, Max, and Steve leaning over the couch. “I’m here, what’s the emergency?” I asked but before anyone could respond they turned to look at me revealing Eddie Munson shirtless on the couch.

“Nope. Im out.” I said, turning to leave but getting stopped my Robin. “Please Y/N! He’s hurt really bad and he’ll die without you!” She pleaded. I hated him but I didn’t want him dead.

I rolled my eyes and groaned. “You owe me, ALL of you.” I pointed my finger around the room getting reassuring nods from everyone.

I sighed and walked over to Eddie. I noticed he was bleeding from a puncture wound in his side. “What even happened?” I said, opening my backpack and pulling out the medical supplies I was asked to bring. “Well sweetheart, demobats are a real pain in the as-FUCK!” Eddie spoke for the first time, cutting himself off in pain. I winced, feeling bad for him. “Sorry! I should’ve warned you!” I said, pulling the rag with the disinfectant away from his body.

“As much as we would love to sit and watch Eddie suffer, we have to get in contact with Eleven and see if there’s any sign of her powers because we really need her right now.” Max said.

“Okay. Please be safe and if you need us my walkie will be on.” I said, waving goodbye to them. They all walked upstairs leaving me and Eddie alone.

“Okay Eddie I’m gonna need to clean the area, so please work with me here.” I said, turning my focus back to him. “Fuck…okay okay. Clean me up doc.” He said, tightly closing his eyes. As put the cloth back to his side he bucked his hips wildly and screamed profanities in pain. I pulled the rag away again. “Could you please stay still you intolerant shit!” I said in frustration. “Not my fault it feels like your opening a portal to hell on my side!” He yelled back. Like a lightbulb flashed in my head I straddled his hips on the couch.

He looked at me with shock. “If you want me that badly, sorry sweetheart your gonna have to wait. I gotta get cleaned up first, doctor’s orders.” He said smugly. “It’s to keep your hips down, as if I’d ever fuck you.” I rolled my eyes. Without any warning I put the rag back onto his skin. He bucked his hips up, meeting with my core. I let out a soft gasp before pushing down with all my weight to get him to stay down.

“Did I just buck against your pussy?” He said with a smile, trying not to groan out in pain.

“No! Just shut up and let me work!” I said, getting red in the face. I eventually got the area cleaned. While I stitched him up he leaned his head back and panted while trying not to scream. I put a bandage on and I went to get up but before I could Eddie put his hands on my hips and held me down.

“What are you doing?” I asked, my voice seeming quieter than normal. “You said i owe you right? Let me pay you back.” He said, licking his lips. His hands slid from my hips down onto my thighs. My breath hitched as I realized what he meant. “Eddie-“ I started but I found no words. “Yes sweetheart?” He said, running his hands slowly up my skirt.

I couldn’t say anything as his hands found my clothed heat. His fingers brushed my core, pressing lightly on my clit for a moment. “Eddie!” I gasped out. “Mhm?” He asked nonchalantly. “Fuck…don’t stop.” I moaned out. He smirked and moved my panties to the side. Without any warning he shoved his middle finger into my hole. “Christ! Yes Eddie!” I moaned as he found a rhythm. I moved my hips to meet his thrust. He added another finger, determined to make me cum. His other hand circled my clit quickly. I moaned loudly as he finger fucked me. “Yes! Right there!” I moaned out. I gripped onto his strong biceps as I came undone on his lap. He pulled his fingers out and put them in his mouth. He cleaned them up with his tongue.

I didn’t say anything as I got up and moved my cleaning supplies out of the way. “Stand up pretty boy.” I said, and he obliged. He got up with my help and sat in an uncomfortable metal folding chair while I turned the couch into a pullout bed. I got blankets for him and pillows before helping him lay down. I went to leave him to rest. “Not even gonna stay to cuddle? Wow such a player Y/N.” Eddie said, clearly with a smile. I playfully rolled my eyes before taking off my sweatshirt and laying down next to him. “I might accidentally hit you in my sleep. If you ever want me to leave let me know.” I said quietly as Eddie started to fall asleep. “Shut up and come here.” Eddie said before wrapping his arm around me and pulling me close to him.

[hpimaginesandblurbs]

wait draco fucking his arranged marriage wife on a couch after she admitted to still seeing her ex (not knowing he has feelings for her obviously) and he’s like oh? can he fuck you like this tho?

pairing: draco malfoy x reader 

warning(s): 18+, adultery, arranged marriage, slight degradation

word count: 3.0k 

a/n: this was not supposed to be this long but it ran away from me as i started writing. this is the longest thing i’ve written on tumblr so far and i hope you all enjoy it! one of my own person favorites. 

Another day felt like another day wasted in the walls in the stuffy Manor you called home. Except it wasn’t home. And it wasn’t another day. 

No. After weeks of trying to get your husband to open up to you, you had had enough. It was an arranged marriage, and although you were no fool and had no pretenses of pretending to love him, you’d at least like to get to know the person you called your husband. 

Back in school you had always thought the infamous Draco Malfoy was rather handsome, anyone would be a fool to deny it. He was confident and popular, great at Quidditch, and seemed like the perfect gentleman - everything you could want in a husband. Turns out it was the opposite. All the feelings you thought you might develop for him were unrequited, and he ignored you at every turn. 

So you took it into your own hands to get what you were so desperately craving: physical affection. It didn’t take much, truly. All you did was send an owl to your ex boyfriend from your school days and one thing led to another until you were in his bed, wrapped in his arms, and rocked to your core with pleasure. 

But now you were back in your ‘home’, wasting away within the walls of the Manor with your husband nowhere to be found. 

It wasn’t until hours later, when you were getting ready to push yourself up from the couch to head to bed, did the fireplace flash green, signaling his arrival home. 

“Hello. How was your day?” You asked politely, hoping just this once he might fall into a normal conversation with you. 

“Fine,” he replied shortly, not even bothering to look at you as he emptied his pockets and put down his very important briefcase that was a mystery to you. 

A blaze of frustration ran through your body, desperate to get more out of this man than just one word. A crazy thought came into your head, to tell him about your day, but you pushed it aside. No, Malfoy’s wouldn’t think highly of a girl who committed adultery within weeks of marriage. But…

“My day was great,” you told him, rather impulsively. 

At first he seemed shocked that you even said anything, the conversation usually reached its end by now. But he recovered quickly, politely asking “And what was so great about your day?” 

Naturally, you could lie. Tell him you met up with your female friends for lunch. Tell him you read a good book. Tell him anything but the truth. But… 

“I reacquainted myself with my ex boyfriend from school,” you told him, daring to look him in the eye as you spoke. 

“Reacquainted? How?” He asked, a series of emotions flashing over his face that you had never seen before. It sent a thrill through you to see him showing any emotions at all. 

Again, you could lie. Tell him you met him for lunch. Tell him that you ran into each other in Diagon Alley. Tell him anything but the truth. But… 

You knew even if the truth did come out, he would have to keep it a secret. He wouldn’t dare be seen as a spineless cuckold as his wife went around sleeping with whomever she pleased. 

“I owled him a few days ago, asking to meet him,” you began, watching as his face contorted into something akin to anger. “I went to his home, for lunch, and it didn’t end with lunch.” 

You left the end of your short story rather ambiguous, wanting to see what he’d do with the information you presented him. He had barely moved from his place by the fireplace, but the look he was giving you could set you up in flames if he wanted it to. 

“So, what? You fucked him?” He asked, the politeness in his voice giving way to the anger he was feeling. 

In a sick way, it pleased you to see him angry. Gave you a sense of pride that you, the wife he had seen fit to ignore, could get such a rise out of him. 

“Yes, seeing as you haven’t even touched me,” was your spiteful reply, foolishly placing the blame all on him despite your own actions. 

“You stupid, silly little girl,” he said under his breath as he stalked over towards you, menacing in just how much bigger he was than you. “You don’t fucking understand a thing about me, do you?” He asked, hovering over you, his hands braced on the back of the couch that you were still seated on, your faces inches apart.��

“You don’t let me. You never speak to me,” you argued, ready to turn this into a fight filled with low blows if he really wanted it to go that way. 

“You think this is a fucking walk in the park for me? Having some girl I’ve barely met in my house looking terrified of me every time I come near her? Suffering through your daily attempts to talk to me, but knowing how unbearably uncomfortable you are in being here? You think I wanted this? For either of us?” He asked seamlessly, almost in a rush to get all of his thoughts out before he thought better of it. A look of hesitation passed his face for a brief moment before he continued on, more quietly now. “You think I wanted the girl I couldn’t take my eyes off for a single day after fifth year hating being in my presence? Going behind my back to fuck someone else because I’ve held myself back in case she was uncomfortable doing anything more than just acting like my wife?” 

He didn’t meet your eye at first, but when he did you saw the weight of his emotions. He was hurt, by himself and by you. He was jealous of the man you had chosen to spend your day with. He was terrified of your reaction to his words. He was furious he even had to have this conversation, in this way, in this situation. He was relieved he finally got it all out. 

“Wh- What are you saying?” You asked cautiously, not wanting to twist his words to meet your own fantasy of having a loving husband. 

He took a deep breath before he answered, but made no moves to rid himself of his proximity to you. “Y/N, I’ve been head over heels for you since the moment we met. But having an arranged marriage, I couldn’t do much more but assume you didn’t share the same feelings as me.” 

“Oh,” was all you could even say back, too overwhelmed to think of anything else. You searched his eyes for the lie, but they held nothing but the raw truth. He must have seen something in your eyes as well, because his tone shifted into something else entirely before he spoke again. 

“Now, Y/N, I think we got off on the wrong foot and I didn’t make my intentions clear with you. I intend to be a good husband, a loving husband. And yet despite my best efforts to be the perfect gentleman so far, you went behind my back to sleep with some other man. And what does that say about you?” He asked, his eyes boring into yours as he spoke. 

You were sure he could hear your heart rate from how close he was, your pulse racing at his words. “I- I don’t know,” you stuttered, willing to let him take this wherever he saw fit. 

“I’m not going to place the blame all on you, because I know I haven’t been perfect. But one might say that you’re a dumb little whore, and I might be inclined to agree. A stupid, little girl trapped in her big, posh Manor. Going out to let any guy fuck her, not even knowing that her husband can fuck her better than anyone else could.” 

“And you could fuck me better than someone I know can?” You asked incredulously, shocked at the words spilling from his mouth. But even if you tried, you couldn’t deny the way he was so sure of himself, so sure he could please you better than any man, aroused you to no end. 

He let out a dark chuckle and looked at you, amused. “Of course I could, darling. That is, if you give me the chance,” he told you in a teasing tone, before pushing himself off of the couch to walk away. 

“Wait,” you started, once again acting on impulse. You might regret your next words, but damn it if you weren’t curious. And he was your husband after all. “Prove it.” 

“Prove it?” He asked, turning on his heel to face you again, a victorious grin written across his face. When you nodded, he only lifted a brow before he continued. “Now? Haven’t you had a long day of, oh how did you put it, ‘getting reacquainted with your ex’?” 

“You talk a big game, Draco. Now I’m asking you to prove it. Scared?” You asked, baiting him. 

In a split second and a flurry of movement later, he had you laying down against the couch, pressed into the expensive fabric, with his weight on top of you, pinning you down.  

“I’ll give you one last chance to back out of this. Tell me now, otherwise I’m going to fuck you through this couch,” he said through gritted teeth, clearly fed up with your antics. 

Without even thinking, your lips crashed onto his in a heated kiss. Lips you hadn’t felt since your wedding day. You hadn’t even remembered what they felt like until his tongue was darting along your bottom lip, hastily requesting entry. 

As your kiss remained heated, he was expertly shedding you both of your clothing until you were almost bare. He had only left you in your small, lace thong in the aftermath of his destruction. 

His hands traveled your body possessively, as if trying to memorize every curve and edge of your skin. The moment your bra came off, your breasts were in his hands, easily rolling your nipples until you were gasping for air. He swallowed all your noises greedily, as if you were feeding them to a starved man. 

It wasn’t until he pulled away, his hands resting on the waistband on your underwear, did you have a moment for a coherent thought. 

“One last time, are you sure Y/N?” He asked as if it was painful for him. As if it was the case that you said no, it would be immensely difficult for him to pull himself away. As if it was the case that you said no, he’d die a painful death at your feet. 

“I’m sure,” you said softly, not wanting him to think for a second that you had any hesitant thoughts about this moment. 

As he slowly pulled down your final layer of clothing, it gave you a chance to finally look at him.

And he was beautiful. 

He looked like an ancient Greek statue, perfectly carved and crafted out of marble come to life. His perfectly defined lines, his impossible definition, his muscles in all the right places. Your eyes eventually traveled down to his cock, and your breath hitched when you finally saw how large he was. If you had known this all along, perhaps you wouldn’t have sought out another man for your pleasure. 

He seemed to be taking you in just the same. His eye trailing down your body with such reverence that you felt like an ancient Greek goddess yourself, if only for a moment. 

“You’re gorgeous,” he said softly, almost as if he didn’t mean for you to hear the words. 

“You’re not so bad yourself,” you replied, giving him a shy smile when his eyes met yours again. 

“I’ve been waiting to do this for a long time,” he told you, still in the soft tone that he had. He gracefully let his body fall back over yours, bracing himself on one forearm while his other hand traveled the length of your body. 

When he caught your lips again, it didn’t hold the same heat as before, but there was something new there. Something good. Something that could only be translated through your lips in that very moment. Something akin to adoration, worship, even love. 

His hand stopped its travels at the apex of your thighs, expertly running his fingers over your clit and down your slit, feeling for himself just how wet you were. He groaned at the feeling of how wet and warm you were, and you felt his cock twitch against your stomach in anticipation. 

He slowly opened you up for him with his fingers. First with one, then two, even venturing to three before he was content that you wouldn’t be uncomfortable. He didn’t rush the process, kept a slow, steady, predictable pace as he worked your body. And every time you got close to the edge, he’d gently bring you back down, leaving you a whining, writhing mess by the time he was aligning his cock with you. 

“Draco, please,” you begged shamelessly, more than ready for him. 

“Did you beg for him earlier?” He asked almost nonchalantly, teasing you with the tip of his cock. 

He must have seen the shock on your face, shocked that he would bring it up in this moment, because he only chuckled before pushing inside of you, a gasp easily pulled from your lips at the intense stretch. 

He didn’t fuck you gently, immediately starting with a breakneck pace that left you seeing stars from the first moment he bottomed out. You were easily rewarding him with your moans, letting him know just how good it felt without words. You couldn’t speak even if you tried. 

But he talked. Oh, yes. He ran that pretty mouth of his as if he wasn’t thrusting so deep inside of you the couch was rocking. 

“I was right, wasn’t I? You’ve never been fucked like this, have you?” He asked, right as you were beginning to climb that peak into a pleasurable abyss. 

You gave him a feeble nod in return, not trusting your own mouth to properly respond. 

“Did he fuck you like this?” He asked, biting the question out through clenched teeth as if he was dreading the answer. “Tell me, Y/N, did he?” He asked, fucking you even harder now in his frustration. 

“No,” you cried out, breaking free of your moans for a second to answer him. “He can’t fuck me like this,” you added, if only to stroke Draco’s ego, but nevertheless it was true. No one could fuck you like this. 

“Cum for me, let me feel you,” Draco said, lowering his head into the crook of your neck to ground himself, trying to fight off his orgasm until you got yours. 

It didn’t take much longer after that. He had worked you up so much beforehand that your orgasm came to you easily and came with such a force you were left breathless in its wake. Your nails carved down Draco’s muscular back, sure to leave delightful scratch marks that you could study later, as you cried out in bliss. 

The moment he felt your walls contract around him, he let himself go with a low groan. The sound was music to your ears, and only intensified the feelings you were experiencing. To have him so close, sharing in the same ecstasy you were, it was like magic. 

When you both came down from your highs, he swiftly rearranged the both of you until you wrapped in his arms, both lying on the couch. It was a strange feeling, being in his arms for the first time like this. If someone had told you this would be happening only a few hours before, you would have laughed in their face. But now here you both were, sweaty and satiated, basking in the bliss of finally consummating your marriage. 

The thought made you giggle, and when he shot you a perplexed look, you couldn’t help but explain. 

“We finally consummated our marriage,” you explained, still giggling. “And don’t worry, by the way, I’m on the potion,” you thought to add, just in case kids weren’t looming in the future for him. 

“Good to know you won’t be birthing any bastard children,” was his sullen response, clearly still hurt by the events of the day. 

You shifted your body until you were looking directly at him, but he made no moves to pull his arms away from you. If anything, he held you tighter when he felt you move, unwilling to give up the moment. 

“Look, I’m sorry about what I did today. It wasn’t right and it wasn’t fair to you. And if I had known even a fraction how you felt about me, I wouldn’t have done it, because I feel the same about you. I was just feeling incredibly stuck in what I thought was a hopeless marriage, and I was lonely, so I sought out someone else. But now I understand that that isn’t the case, and I can promise you, from the bottom of my heart, that it will never happen again,” you told him, putting everything out there for him. 

“You feel the same?” He asked timidly, after a moment of deliberation. There was a look of hope on his face, and never in your wildest dreams would you shut down such a rare display of emotion from him. Then again, you may be expecting more of his emotions from here on out. 

“Yes. I’ve always been attracted to you, and the little bits of you that I do know, I like. I want this to work, Draco. I want this to be a real marriage. All I wanted was a shot.” you said, just praying he wanted the same. 

“‘I’ll admit, I wasn’t a good husband to you by any means, and I probably unknowingly pushed you into doing what you did. But now that our intentions are out there, I’d like nothing more than to give this a real shot,” he responded, that newly familiar look of hope in his eyes present once more. 

In that moment, you could both feel it. The beginning of something great.

[avintagekiss24]

Hi! I don't want to start anything on here and am always willing for civil conversations. At this point there's so much I've found out about Seb (besides the video he liked, the tommy lee thing, and the girlfriend thing) that I feel so guilty if I would continue to support him. I love him sm but it just doesn't look good rn. He is associated/follows an organisation (for helping veterans) that has posted a blue lives matter flag picture and who's co-founder has sexual assault allegations against him, and worked with him in 'The last full measure'. His friend Paul Walter Hauser has done blackface in the past, and when called out on it he just listed a few people that also did blackface. There's more, I found a discussion on here that I can link. I seriously don't support "cancel culture" bc I don't think it helps anyone but there are just a lot of 'mistakes' and shady people that can be linked to Seb, I wish it wouldn't be that way. I honestly don't know what to think about it anymore.

Hi! I’m also open to having civil conversations and I don’t believe you’re trying to start anything. I really do think this situation of dragging up a four year old video and taking it completely out of context is harmful not just to Black people, but to fandom/activism in general. This is gonna be long because I’m going to take your points one by one, and I want to preface this by saying that I will not answer any derogatory, sideways asks pertaining to this subject. I will delete every single one and will block your silly ass. I’m not going to argue with people who think I’m blindly supporting Sebastian because I’m just trying to get fucked by him, or people who think I hate myself and am trying to appease some white man.

So, on with the discourse!

The video he liked - this video was taken completely out of context and that is my main issue with this whole situation. It was not a video of a white man saying that he thinks he should be able to say the n word as everyone claimed it was. They were quickly debating on whether or not it's okay to say in rap lyrics. He was told no, that's not okay, that's never okay and they moved on from it. That's it. End of story. That somehow was twisted into a click bait style headline of "Sebastian Stan likes a video of a white man defending his right to say the n word" when that is absolutely not true. My other issue is that people are more upset that Sebastian liked the video than they are about the white man in the video literally saying the n word. So, do you really care about the use of the n word like you're claiming? Cuz if you do, you'd be more upset at the white man that said the word than you would be about the white man simply liking the video. Or, are you just using this as an excuse to grandstand against a white man you don't like?

The Tommy Lee thing - Sebastian Stan playing Tommy Lee does not make Sebastian Stan a bad person. Is Charlize Theron a bad person for playing Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute who started murdering men? Is Leonardo DiCaprio a bad person for playing a slave owner? Is Edward Norton a bad person for playing a nazi sympathizing racist? Actors play bad people. That doesn't mean that they themselves are bad people. 1990's Tommy Lee was a bad person, but that should have no bearing on who Sebastian Stan is or his character as a man.

The gf/Paul Walter Hauser thing - Why are we holding Sebastian accountable for what the people around him are doing? Again, why are we more upset that Sebastian is associated with people who have done questionable things than the specific people themselves? I'm not going to speak on the kimono wearing -- I'm not Asian. It's not my place to say whether or not its offensive because it's not my culture, but she posted that picture and attended that party before she started dating Sebastian, quite possibly before she even knew him. Same with Paul. I think that black face thing was long before he knew Sebastian. Now, if Sebastian was defending these actions, going around saying "I think it's okay for white women to wear Kimono's" "I think black face is fine" "I think white people should be able to say the n word" then we'd have a different story, wouldn't we? But that's not what we have, and that's not what he is doing. He is not responsible for the things his friends do or have done in the past just because he's more famous than they are, and he is not required to speak on them. Let's put it this way -- would you be comfortable having to be responsible for something a friend of yours did before you knew them? Would you want to have to be forced to answer for your friend when you yourself had nothing to do with the questionable behavior?

The organization that supports the military/blue lives matter - Sebastian cannot control what message that foundation puts out and it does not mean that he is or is not pro-police himself. There is not enough concrete evidence -- if any evidence for that matter -- that Sebastian is a blue lives matter supporter. Did Sebastian donate before they put up the blue lives matter post? Or after? I don’t know, cuz I don’t follow him that closely, but if he donates before they come out with a particular stance, that means he should be held accountable for that? I know I donated to an organization once and they turned out to support something that i’m 100% against. That means I’m a bad person because I couldn’t see into the future? Another point, how can we be certain that Sebastian saw the blue lives matter post in the first place? I know I’m not online 24 hrs a day, I miss posts all the time and I’m just an average person. I make three or four tumblr posts a day, and I’m gone. I have to play catch up on social media, and even then, I still miss stuff. So I’m sure the same happens to a working actor. As for the co-founder, I don't know who this person is and would rather not get into any allegations against them because I don't want to trigger anyone who comes across this post. If Sebastian knows about these allegations, is a willing participant/supporter of this person then yeah, that's pretty shitty, but we don't know the inner workings of this friendship/acquaintance/work relationship. We don’t know how close they are or if they even still speak.

I’m a pretty big fan of Don Cheadle. He’s a stand up guy, he’s a great actor, he’s funny, he’s political and stands up for what he believes in and in a very public way. I support him. Don Cheadle is also friends with Chris Evans, RDJ, Mark Ruffalo, and Letitia Wright (just to name a few). Chris Evans has a bipartisan forum that highlights/promotes right wing politicians, RDJ defended Chris Pratt during the whole “he’s the worst Chris in Hollywood” crap, who’s technically done black face, and who once said to a female reporter “nice tits” when she walked into the room, Mark Ruffalo just walked back his support of Palestine, and Letitia Wright retweeted/supported an anti-vaxxer/anti-trans Pastor who equated an ingredient of the covid vaccine to the devil because it contained some parts of the word Lucifer. Does that mean Don is now a bad person because he’s friends with these people? Why isn’t he getting any heat for his friendships with them? Why isn’t he being held accountable for what they’ve done and said? Oh right, because he’s not a white fave. So people don’t care one way or the other, which brings me to my next point. 

I can guarantee you that if Sebastian’s gf or Paul or this co-founder were not associated with Sebastian in any way, nobody would give a shit about her wearing a kimono, about Paul doing black face, or about the co-founder/organization being blue lives matter supporters and in that lies the actual problem. Being critical of people and their actions should be consistent and should happen all the time -- not just when they interact with your white fave. That’s when it becomes performative and looks like you just want to be able to show internet people that you follow/support/stan unproblematic celebrities, when really, you don’t care.

I think the moral of this post is that I think it's unfair to hold a complete stranger to a standard that I cannot hold myself to. I also don't view celebrities the way most teenagers/twenty somethings do, and that’s because when I entered fandom we didn't have social media, so I grew up with a wall between myself and said celebrities. There is no wall now with the presence of social media. "Fans" nowadays have a weird ownership feeling over celebrities because they can read their personal thoughts or view personal pictures and think that they have this personal quasi-friendship with them. I can't get on board with that. I prefer having the wall and I still keep the wall.

If supporting Sebastian makes you uncomfortable, then by all means, stop supporting him. Just make sure you are making this decision for yourself based on credible sources and concrete evidence and that you're not letting this fake woke activist mob make you feel uncomfortable. Internet activism means nothing unless you put your money where your mouth is in your real life and 90% of the social justice internet warriors do not. Real activism is bigger than changing your avi to a black square.

[muppetmilf]

i know i dropped off the face of the earth but past all the shit i outlined in my last post that has gone wrong, i also got very sick with covid over christmas and racked up some medical expenses (nothing serious i can cover those) and on christmas day i found out that my apartment had pipes burst in the ceiling. we are the top apartment and it caused MAJOR damage to not only our apartment but the two apartments below us, and my roommate left the heat off when he left (accidentally) so we’re entirely liable. i’ve got to go back to school soon and currently we’re still on the lease but it won’t be habitable until at least mid-feb, i have to find alternative housing until then and i’m in a mid-sized city so options are slim on short notice AND expensive where they do exist, if we stay on the lease we still have to pay full rent and if we terminate i’ll have to find somewhere else to live in a place where housing is ridiculously expensive (i really don’t want to terminate the lease but my roommates do atp, trying to talk them out of it but i don’t want to force anything either). we also have to pay for the housing accommodations of the people below us and whatever our insurance doesn’t cover from damages. we’ve also been informed that they might dispute and try not to pay, so on top of ALL of this other shit we’ve been contacting lawyers so we don’t get absolutely fucked over. i am so immensely stressed about my living situation, my finances, and now my physical health even more so than i usually am because the stress has caused a flare and i’m having new symptoms, i went to my rheumatologist today and he’s concerned and i have to get another mri (but realistically i’m just going to have to skip it because i don’t have the money) and he recommended physical therapy which i also cannot afford. my family is solidly middle class but this has completely gone over what we can afford.

this is a fucking novel but if you got to the end thanks for reading, and if anyone knows where i can ask for financial aid i would REALLY appreciate it because i am so lost (other than tumblr i don’t do social media and i haven’t been on here lately bc i’ve just been trying to stay afloat since like november). i doubt many ppl on tumblr could help bc i don’t think most of us have much money so anything from anywhere is appreciated, i’ll make accounts if i need to. i might make a formal post here anyways and see what comes of it, i am absolutely desperate, i had to get an airbnb for the first two weeks of the semester and it was almost 900 dollars (!!!) which i had to put on a credit card :( and my monthly rent is 700 and because we are considered liable we still have to pay that if we keep the apartment. i feel sick to my stomach constantly omg

[burnedbyshoto]

hawks_littledove.mp3

— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.

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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks

word count: 5,018

a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.

kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist

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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.

That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.

It started as a mild obsession.

You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.

The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.

⇒ grey fullbuster x reader

The obsession grew worse.

So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.

Hawks Fierce Wings

It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.

It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.

Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.

The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.

“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.

The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.

Oh my god?!

It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.

Oh, motherfucking shit.

Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos. 

Each one was different.

Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob. 

You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.

The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.

And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.

It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.

You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created. 

There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.

It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all. 

But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.

The very first video was of the following:

Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.

After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.

There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.

You had to take a break five times during that audio.

Eventually, you do end up catching up.

Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.

Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.

A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!

You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.

i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri

He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.

You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.

But, oh?

Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.

Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.

listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦

You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.

Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:

Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything

A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands. 

Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties

And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.

.

..

.

Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.

At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part. 

Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.

But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed. 

To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.

Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.

You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.

But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week. 

The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.

Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.

Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.

Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?

Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?

Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio

Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’

Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out

He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.

You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.

And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.

Hawks: do u have earbuds?

Me: Yes?

Hawks: good put them on n pick up

The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.

Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.

Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit

[Accept]

You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.

“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.

“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head. 

“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”

“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”

“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”

“But, you picked up my call?”

“You said, or else!”

“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”

Your jaw drops.

It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.

“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”

“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”

“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”

“O-Oh my god…”

“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”

Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end. 

“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.

You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”

“Louder.”

“I’d be so lucky.”

“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”

“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.

“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”

You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.

“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”

“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.

Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.

“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.

“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”

Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.

“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”

You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”

The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.

“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught. 

“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”

“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”

“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”

“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.

“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.

You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.

“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”

Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks. 

“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum. 

“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”

“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core. 

“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”

“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”

“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.

Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air. 

“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”

“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”

Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.

When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.

Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime  call me 03-9183-2495 ;)