vaxyl

[vaxyl]

OKAY!

I've been having a really hard time writing lately, its been a rough year for me which has done a number on my mental health, and something needs to change before I break.

I currently have 17 projects I'm actively writing & that's mad, so let's reduce that number...

I have a story request I'm working on - it's my first ever story request… and also likely my last story request sadly.

While I love the story, it's been pretty stressful to write for someone else & their wants and I just don't need that extra weight on my mental health rn.

I plan on trying to finish it soon, hopefully before the new year rolls in but no promises, but it's definitely still on the menu - it's an interesting one, so I hope the requester and everyone else who reads it enjoys it!

That aside, I've also found myself focusing on these following stories, so they're also still actively on the menu:

Not My Mark - an a/b/o au where Vax ends up having Sylas Briarwood's kids after he is caught snooping in the Briarwoods’ guest room in Emon and starting a chain of unfortunate situations

The Cost Of One Soul - an au where Orthax steals Vax's soul during the ritual where Vax saves Percy from Orthax's soul prison at the end of Season 3 of The Legend of Vox Machina

Growing Pains - an au that takes place after the Briarwood arc where Vax is captured and deaged with magic by cultists from The Remnants (The Whispered One's cult lead by Delilah)

Separation Burns - an au where Vax and Vex are permanently separated when Vex runs off and leaves Vax alone in the rain after they flee from Syngorn as children, Vax falling into Byron Anders’, and later on the Briarwoods’, hands while Vex becomes a cleric ranger of The Wildmother in New Byroden and eventually ends up in Vox Machina

And I have other ideas I still want to work on in the future at some point, though its not guaranteed - these ideas are:

a Left 4 Dead AU - modern au set in Exandria when the Briarwoods start the zombie apocalypse and everyone is told to get to Issylra as its zombie free - Vox Machina are a band currently touring in Whitestone when the apocalypse breaks out, so now they're trying to reach Issylra together in the hopes of surviving the apocalypse

a Vampire Vax AU - a third attempt at an au where Vax is turned by Sylas, I really love the idea of Vax as a vampire I just haven't nailed the execution yet

a Cyberpunk 2077 AU - set in the world of the of the game, with Vax acting as V, this would be a retelling of Cyberpunk 2077 where Vox Machina are an alternative rock band who also do some less than legal gigs on the side in the war on the corporations of Night City for the poor and downtrodden when Vax ends up infected by a biochip storing an engram of Purvan Suul made by the Briarwoods during a high stake heist that goes very wrong very quickly and he has to find a way to remove the chip before Purvan takes over his body

a Political Drama AU - Percy is the second son of Fredrick de Rolo, a politician running for the position of the president of The Republic of Tal'dorei, and when Percy comes of age the family is suddenly struck with sickness and Percy watches them all die - he has suspicions that it was poisoning rather than sickness, but can't prove it - which leaves him to carry his father's name as Percy becomes a politician too, Percy being advised to marry into a rich family to help support his political campaign by his father's team and leading him to marry Vax before Vax comes out as trans, Percy and Vax working together to make Tal'dorei a better place while competing for the position of president

And here are the stories that I will be putting on Hiatus for now until further notice but have already started:

Drowning - a rewrite and expansion of my take on The Sunken Tomb, That Sinking Feeling, where Vax has a much harder time adjusting to his deal with The Matron that saved his sister and the Matron comes off as more creepy, cruel and controlling without meaning to do so

Stars In Your Eyes - an au where Allura falls in love with Vax and comes to terms with his fate and her own role in his past, present and future while also struggling to handle the consequences of a lie she's been telling herself and everyone else around her

Ring For Me - a story written from Vex's perspective dealing with her guilt over eloping without her brother's knowledge, her grief when he dies and her horror when he comes back different before he leaves again - also explores her ever evolving relationship with Keyleth

Bitten - a sequel to my fic Kinship and Makeup, where Vax and Cassandra bond over them both being victims of Sylas, where Cassandra helps Vax recover from a nightmare where Sylas comes back for him in Whitestone during The Chroma Crisis

The Raven In The Crows's Nest - a Dragon Age: The Veilguard au where Vax is an Antivan Crow due to things outside of his control growing up and he accidentally finds himself becoming “Rook” after saving Varrics's life, and as events unfold he and Lucanis fall in love with each other and decide to try and rebuild the Crows into something more positive for the people of Treviso

At The Bottom Of The Garden - when Percy is young his family build a vacation home in the woods, disturbing a fairy meadow, but Percy befriends one of the fairies, Vax, and does what he can to make it up to them, but when Percy's family die in a fire he stops visiting the meadow for years before finally coming back as an adult working for Briar Labs - he starts to refriend Vax but when his bosses drop by to ask him to work on a secret project, Vax is spotted and captured by the Briarwoods, leading to Percy and Vax's sister teaming up reluctantly to try and save poor Vax

If you have any questions about the stories or ideas mentioned above, please feel free to submit an Ask!

And yes, Anon is turned on. 💕

Sure, this is still 11 stories in total, with an extra 4 possibly waiting in the wings, but it's a lot better than 17 active WIPs.

The requested fic takes priority, of course, but I'll still be trying to work on the other 4 active story WIPs in the meantime - I'm especially fixated on Not My Mark rn, so I want to keep that train going while I'm still able to do so.

Also, yes, all of these are Vax centred in one way or another - if you know me or have been to my blog before, this really shouldn't be a surprise to you.

[vaxyl]

💕

[PERC'ILDAN]

[vaxyl]

why do you attack me

Oh, so you fancy Vax, and Gale, and Lucanis? Shocked. Amazed. Never saw that coming

[vaxyl]

NEW USERNAME:

ravenquingvax > vaxyl

[vaxyl]

dad's in the hospital with a shattered hip and i can feel another episode starting

im so fucking tired of being angry, sad & tired all the time

now is not the time to be depressed, im already useless on a good day and rn I cannot afford to have anything less than good days cause my dad is going to need my help when he gets out of the hospital

fuck absolutely everything

[vaxyl]

fuck this year actually

im so fucking tired

fuck everything so much

[vaxyl]

Hey how have you been

ngl having a rough day, my dad had an accident at work today and my mum is at the hospital with him rn

that aside, been a no energy day since i woke up meaning ive gotten nothing done (:

BUT! My boyfriend is finally home from visiting family in India and we meet tomorrow for a lunch date!

so it's not all gloom and doom

[vaxyl]

prettiest woman to ever live

gods shes so beautiful

Lady Allura Vysoren ~ grab a print this month on Patreon!

http://patreon.com/hailiiz

[vaxyl]

[vaxyl]

4 years later...

still nothing to show for it...

7 rewrites later...

aaaaaaaaa

I WILL FINISH THIS FUCKING FIC EVEN IF IT KILLS ME

My idea for the "Hotis kills Vax" fic keeps changing and I'm a perfectionist who almost never likes what it is they've made

but, unlike other fics that I've tried to write for years before eventually giving up, I'm still determined to write this one!!

rewrite number 8 starting now

wish me luck guys 😭

[vaxyl]

Hey, to the blog currently flooding the Critical Role tag with reposted CR fanart by artists who ARE NOT YOU with "please reblog" gifs -- KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF

[vaxyl]

need to commission this art when I have money again

anybody have artist reccs?? or tips on how to commission??

never commissioned art before but need this and know i just can't do it justice myself (yet)

[vaxyl]

listening to my Vax'ildan playlist, playing Sims Machina, feeling good for once...

sure, Vax'leth are having a rough time rn but they're working it out - between Vax's many near death experiences and his work as a reaper, and Keyleth's social anxieties and work as a conservationist... they don't have a lot of time together and it's usually kinda awkward when they do

Perc'ahlia and Pikelan, however, are both going really strongly!

Percy is in university rn, and Vex is in the military, but once Percy has finished all of his work at university and gets a job in politics I plan on them getting married and moving out of Vox Machina's shared house - maybe even having kids

when they move out, Pikelan will take their room and Grog, who currently sleeps on a fold down Murphy bed, would take Pikelan's room - Perc'ahlia have the largest bedroom, after all, and Vax'leth have the second biggest bedroom while Pikelan has the smallest bedroom rn

Scanlan, being an entertainer, feels slightly inadequate next to Medical Intern Pike, but she loves him for who he is

while Grog is single, only works on the weekends as a lawn mower and is pretty happy

idk if Vax'leth will stay together or not, we'll see how it goes, but if they get closer then I may have them marry and move out as well! I see Vax becoming a stay-at-home dad in the future, regardless

also, some pics!

[vaxyl]

on another note...

SIMS MACHINA!! (again)

starting with the oldest member, Scanlan!

second oldest, Pike!

then Grog, the third oldest!

then Vex'ahlia, the fourth oldest! (in my fanon at least)

then Vax, the third youngest!

Keyleth, the second youngest!

And Percy, the youngest!

as well as Trinket! 🥰

Gods, I adore this family. 🥺🥰

Scanlan and Pike are dating, with Grog as Pike's brother & the twins as Pikelan's kids!

While Vex dates Percy, who Keyleth is the sister of, and then Vax is dating Keyleth!

So excited to play with the new reaper stuff with Vax! ☺️🥳

[vaxyl]

ever start writing a long ass meta post, get half way through, then sorta sit there and realise you're jusy saying a whole load of fucking nothing?

anyway, sat on my Vax feels and done self care since the recent episode and i feel less sad and angry now but still hurt enough that i don't like it yet

i respect Matt and the others, I respect whatever he and Liam decide to do with Vax's story - and I do appreciate the story as a story, for the record, ite just not a story I particularly enjoy

im depressed and autistic and i heavily relate to Vax, so no, I don't want him to be this sorta half-dead psychopomp for all eternity never to be with the woman he loves or their family ever again - i see aspects of myself in Vax and the thought of lingering, unable to move on like he is, fucking terrifying so of course I don't want this for him, that's my worse nightmare

however, my initial response to the episode was emotional and reactivate and occured during a violent depressive spiral that had already started before I started following what was happening through the tags

to put it bluntly, i was furious at the idea of Vax never resting and being truly happy, ever, and I got loud about it

so sorry for that, i don't mean to undermine what Matt and Liam have done and are doing - this is the cast's story, not mine

but that said, I still prefer my fanon over the canon and that will likely never change - i am but only human and humans are fickle beings often raised to be even just a smidgen selfish

also i worry about Keyleth, her relationship with Vax's death is so fucking unhealthy and idk if she can handle much more of it

Vax, stop being unintentionally toxic and stop harassing your living girlfriend from beyond the grave oh my fucking gods

i know you love her and just want to be near here and keep her company, but i can't lie, this behaviour is just not it, king

stop sending the damn ravens

please, let her move on! even if it's not your intention to keep her stuck in her grief, this is almost definitely doing that

anywhos - doesn't anyone else just love getting seasonal depression on top of regular depression paired with trauma depression caused by recent events you're still processing?

then throwing silly fandom depression on top of that?

because I sure do! (/sarcasm)

[vaxyl]

Okay! After some refining of my old design, this is what my new Vax'ildan "Rook" de Riva looks like! He's much prettier this time around, im so happy!

My little Raven amongst the Crows, he's a tiny lil birb! 🥰

I headcanon him at 5'3" but didn't know where that would be on the height scale, so I set him to -70% Height in game.

Lucanis, prepare yourself! 🤭

As for my inquisitor, last time I tried making Vex'ahlia but the customization options for Inqy were lacking too much, so I went for The Matron of Ravens this time around to be funny.

Can't wait for the tragedy!! 😭

(also, why does the game keep removing Rook's makeup?!!

I know I can redo it in the mirror after the prologue but I shouldn't have to do that!!)

[vaxyl]

okay so I just finished my first playthrough of Veilguard...

BOY HOWDY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Great game! Solid 7 out of 10, character creator was very disappointing and being unable to ask Lucanis for a kiss at any and all times was just mean after locking in with him

not happy with some story beats *cough, cough - varric - cough, cough* but overall I really enjoyed the experience - first Dragon Age game that I have ever played from start to finish and it was really fun

playing as an Antivan Crow Rogue Rook was perfection and Lucanis (and Spite) may actually own my heart now

gotta write about Vax'ildan x Lucanis now BTW, cause I was playing as Vax'ildan and now I ship them together so much

I won't share anything from my first playthrough, but I will play through it again to take some screenshots and story notes

was never super happy with how Rook or Inqy looked lol, gotta work on that before I start my next playthrough

also, Veilguard may have got me a new girlfriend, lmao, the bisexuals just keep on winning

but yeah! easier to play than Inquisition was, more fun too

can't stop thinking about the sexy assassin and his demon or the sweet baby griffon or the adorable little skeleton boy

i love Taash and their journey

my heart breaks for Bellara, Neve and Harding...

I'm so happy for Emmrich and Strife, for Evka and Antoine, for Teia and Viago, for the faceless couple I helped flee Treviso

I'm so happy for Davrin and the surviving Wardens, for the new generation of baby griffons

and gods am I happy for Spite and Lucanis, and with them my sweet but anxious nonbinary mess of an assassin rogue

Teia and Viago, start planning that wedding and baby shower cause these two are going to be fucking insatiable idiots