#lesbian slytherin

[fiasco95]

[Pandora staring at a shirtless Regulus smoking and reading a book by the window alcove.]

Pandora:

Pandora: Okay. Those who agree Regulus is hot, say aye. Aye.

Barty: Aye.

Dorcas: Aye.

Evan: Aye.

Marlene: Aye.

James: Aye.

Pandora: …

Pandora: MARLENE???

Pandora: JAMES POTTER?!?!

Marlene: hey I may be a lesbian but I’m not blind.

James: I’m blind but that has nothing to do with anything, he’s just hot.

Pandora:

Pandora: That’s not what I had a problem with but okay.

[reguluslovesspelunking]

dorcas: hear me out, bio degradable sex toys

marlene: now that’s not a nice thing to say about men

[immadeofdustandshadows]

Dorcas: do you ever feel like kissing girls?

* at the same time *

Evan: no.

Regulus: no.

Barty: no.

Evan:

Regulus:

Barty:

Dorcas:

Dorcas: well i do.

[leleleonora]

Smooch💋💋

[reignmaefall]

Dorcas: lying face down in Barty's bed complaining about Marlene

Pandora: lying face down on Evans bed complaining about Emmeline

Regulus: lying face down on his bed whining about James

Evan: *sitting on Barty's lap* gay people amiright

Barty: totally, anyway, mio bello*-

*my beautiful

[myrows]

Showering with your rival after a quidditch match

[nixnight1]

I just saw this video and I had to recreate it:

Jegulus texting:

Regulus: Why did you leave me a 20 dollars bill with a note saying "Bye ♡"

James: For the bus. Wtf are you still doing at my place Reg?

Regulus: I just woke up

James: Why the hell did you sleep for so long? Lily is off work, she's probably going home

Regulus: Shit shit shit she's here

James: Hide somewhere!!

Regulus: I'm under the bed. You do something!! Take her out, she's wandering around the place.

Regulus: The note and the bill are on the table

Regulus: James?

Regulus: Potter?

Regulus: ANSWERE ME

James: sorry I was on a meeting

Regulus: FOR A DAMN HOUR

Regulus: when is Evans leaving?

James: Tomorrow?

Regulus: I CANT STAY HERE TILL TOMORROW

James: Just sleep, I'll try to make her pick me up

Regulus: Someone rang the bell

James: whom?

Regulus: a girl, I think she is your neighbour

James: Does she have dark hair?

Regulus: I don't know James, I'm under the bed

Regulus: Holy shit they're on the bed

James: Doing what?!

Regulus: You don't really want to know...

James: Hold on! I'll be there in two minutes

---

Regulus: That's you opening the door?

James: There's no one here, did you lie to make me come home sooner to help you?

Regulus: She's hiding under the bed with me

[outromoony]

Marlene when Dorcas just exists:

[acertifiedwitch]

they’re fucking btw

[angarchive]

have not seen dorcas content in like. months so here’s a quick dorcas cuz i miss her 😞

[my-castles-crumbling]

A Double Date

Dorlene and Rosekiller, based on @thevampireslovelywife 's request

"Well, don't we have two lovely couples here?"

It was an innocent comment. The person leading them to their table was probably overworked and underpaid, and she clearly was just trying to flatter them. But she also clearly had no idea who she was dealing with.

Barty, who was standing by Dorcas, gave her a devious smile. "Oh, thank you!" He gushed, wrapping his arm around her waist, ignoring her vaguely annoyed glance. "How long has it been now, babe? A year and a half?"

"Nah, mate!" Evan piped up, an equally evil smirk on his face. "You forgot your anniversary, remember? She was pissed about it!"

Nodding, Barty, smacked himself over the head. "Too right! Can't understand why she still deals with me, really!"

Deciding to play along, Dorcas gave a small eyeroll. "Honestly, I can't understand it either."

And with that, Barty gestured to the booth next to him, where Evan scooted in and Barty followed, planting a very passionate kiss on his lips. The host looked scandalized, her eyebrows disappearing under her hair and her mouth flying open.

Pulling his lips off Evan with a loud smack! Barty turned back to the group. "Ah, that's right! It's because she's too busy with her to notice!" he gestured to Marlene, who let out a shocked laugh.

It took the host a full five minutes to stammer an apology as the girls sat and took their menus, the air around them tense. It was only after she left that everyone burst into laughter.

"You were right to warn me," Marlene murmured into Dorcas's ear, still giggling to herself.

[immadeofdustandshadows]

Pandora: are any of you straight?

Dorcas:

Regulus:

Remus:

Lily:

Mary:

Marlene:

Sirius:

Evan:

Barty:

James: *slowly raises hand*

Regulus : *grabs James's hand, interlaces their fingers and brings it back down*

[thepettieststar]

Slytherin skittles donate blood

Reg: we are NEVER donating blood again!

Evan: the second you walk in there it’s just questions questions questions

Dorcas: “where did you get it?”

Barty: “why is it in a bucket?”

Pandora: so nosy

[moonyswarmsweaters]

Regulus: I’m having guy problems

Dorcas: like his body won't fit in the in the trunk of your car problems or you like him problems?

Regulus: Like him one

Dorcas: Sorry, could only relate to the other

[asmo-d3us]

i know we love the idea of marlene, peter, and james being childhood friends, but what about this trio:

james potter, marlene mckinnon, and barty crouch fucking junior.

james potter - funny charismatic dude who’s a people pleaser and puts others before himself

marlene mckinnon - the lesbian tomboy with the biggest ego known to human kind, plus the biggest slut (and proud of it!)

and then barty crouch jr. - the boy who people looked at and knew was going to never make it in this tiny group, the boy who was hurting inside but managed to keep himself feeling alive because of james and marlene, because they made him the excited and energetic boy he is today, they made him who he is, and he’ll forever be grateful that he met them and didn’t become the son his father wanted him to be.

the group that fell apart when barty got sorted into slytherin, the group that effie and monty took in as their own children, the group that would do pranks together, the group that shaped each other for the better, the group that never forgot about each other.

james and barty - fleamont potter, who invited barty in with open arms, knowing that he needed the fatherly love he had never gotten, yet knowing that barty was never going to stay, james and barty playing quidditch together, james being there for barty when he would break down because of his mother or his family in general, barty being there and pushing james to open up to him because he knew something wasn’t right, these two boys who had such a connection that james began to think he wouldn’t even find it with sirius.

marlene and barty - the chaotic duo that would plaufully compete in things, the duo that wouldn’t comfort each other with words but would physically always be there for each other, marlene who never stopped writing to barty and vice versa, barty and marlene who—even after everything—would hold a secret contest of who could sleep with the most people, because it was the only form of communication they could keep publicly.

oh and of course regulus, evan, and dorcas were absolutely shocked when they found out. of course they screamed so loudly the whole school heard. of course they tackled and harassed barty for information. of course they got jealous!

and of course pandora always knew.

[raenegade-accio]

Imelda giving my touch starved MC a much needed hug 🥹 June is my best excuse to post more of my favourite saphhics 💚💙