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Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
Listen. It was an accident. He didn't mean to! It just kinda happened.
So maybe he brought a drink with enough caffeine in it to kill an elephant within a few minutes, and maybe he forgot to put the sleeve on his cup so he could tell it apart from the others, but it's not his fault! He didn't think anyone else was going to have the exact same Yeti cup as him! It's not like he'd seen any of the others carry one before. Besides, he worked with superheros. They should be smart enough to check before drinking someone else's drink.
Danny had been summoned by the Justice League Dark a few years back in order to help with a world ending crisis and he just didn't leave. It's not like he could go anywhere anyway. His ghost half hadn't grown past fourteen and his human half had stopped visibly aging at eighteen. He'd had to leave town as Danny Fenton, but he'd stayed in Amity Park as Danny Phantom. When his parents died of old age, thank god, he'd closed down the portal, stuck around for a few more years, before traveling the world as Danny Fenton.
Anyway, he'd taken up residence in the House of Mysteries after the JLD had summoned him. Constantine, at first, had been wary, but he and the rest of the JLD had grown to accept him. He was an honorary member of the team.
At some point, just after Robin had become Red Robin, Danny had been introduced to the Justice League. He liked those guys, too, and worked with them sometimes. Though, he usually only went to bug them.
Red Robin had been very interested in the fact that his was fourteen and working with grown heros, like he was one to talk, but Danny hadn't explained anything other than saying that he had died and come back. The following conversation was an interesting one that lead to Danny knowing that Nightwing was the Batman he'd met and that Batman was lost somewhere. He'd confirmed that the man was not dead, but he hadn't offered to help look for him. He probably should have, in retrospect.
Back on topic! Everyone in the JLD knew not to touch Danny's drink. They'd all seen him make it before and had been horrified on varying degrees. It's not like it could kill him. He's already half dead! So long as he only drank this specific brew as Phantom, he'd be fine.
The Justice League, apparently, didn't get the memo. He blames Constantine because Zatanna and Raven can do no wrong. No, John, he's not biased.
The point is, Red Robin just had a sip of Danny's drink. The horror he now felt was akin to the fear he held when he'd told his parents he was Phantom. (An interaction that had gone very well, thank you very much.)
Danny knew the exact moment that the vigilante realized he grabbed the wrong drink. His eyes widened to an astonishing degree, and, if he'd been able to seen his eyes behind the mask, Danny knew that the man's pupils would've completely overtaken the irises. His hands started shaking, too. Oh, no. The man's already addicted to hellish amounts of coffee. This is only going to make it worse!
Quickly, and without drawing any attention, thank the Ancients, Danny rushed over. "You, um, you okay, man?" Obviously not, but he tends to talk when he's anxious and he was certainly anxious right now. He could've possibly just killed a man via poison!
"What the fuck is in this coffee?" Red Robin asked, going to take another sip.
Danny pulled the Yeti from his hand and gave him the proper one. "Enough caffeine to kill an elephant."
"Obviously not, seeing as I'm still alive."
"Yeah, I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."
"Excuse me?"
"I-I mean-! I didn't-! You know what I mean." Caffeine is poisonous in excess, and his drink was way beyond excess, but it's the only thing that works for him as a ghost! Superpowered metabolism and all that.
"Do I?" The laugh in his voice answered for him. He took a sip from his drink and frowned at it. "I don't think any coffee will ever be enough again."
"And that's my cue to get my drink very far away from you." Danny turned, fully intent on moving to the other side of the room. Besides, the meeting was going to start as soon as the Flash and Kid Flash arrived, which would be soon. Something about one of their Rouges getting out?
"What?" Red Robin asked, "Why?" If he was a little desperate to get another sip of that coffee, he'd rather not acknowledge it.
"Because you don't need anymore lethal coffee," he muttered, "The sip you took will already keep you awake for three days at least, and it probably jump started an addiction. Best to stop it now. Besides, I need to go have my crisis on how the hell you're still alive after even a sip of this stuff."
"Again, rude." The bird themed vigilante crossed his arms as best he could while holding his cup. "If it's so dangerous, why do you drink it?"
Danny took a deliberate sip as he locked eyes with the technically younger man. "I'm dead. I don't need to worry about my heart stopping or having a seizure."
"Excuses."
"No, it's not 'excuses'. I'm saving your life."
"You're a kid. If I can't have that coffee, then you shouldn't be having it."
"First, I'm older than you. Second, I already told you: I'm dead. This isn't going to hurt me. Third, you can't tell me what to do."
"There's no way you're older than me. You're like, ten."
"I'm thirty-eight!" He balked, "I only look fourteen because I died when I was fourteen. We've been over this."
Neither noticed the entire Justice League looking at them. The two they were waiting on had arrived a few minutes ago and everyone was ready to start the meeting, but they'd been distracted by the two's conversation. Was that true? Had Phantom really died so young? They'd all been made aware he was not living, but they didn't think he'd died so young! Though, that was probably the denial speaking.
The Justice League Dark had been fully aware of this and didn't really bat an eye. Though, someone should probably get this meeting started. A potentially world ending threat was the topic, and that was a pretty important thing to discuss.
Captain Marvel was the first to pull himself together, though that was only after Atlas and Zeus had mentally slapped him out of his stupur. "As, ah, riveting as this conversation is," he stepped between the two boys- er, boy and man? "we really need to start this meeting."
Batman did not clear his throat because he'd not lost his voice in the first place. "He's right. Everyone take your seats."
Storyboard Part 2
#I wrote this instead of working on any of my current wips#dc x dp#justice league#justice league dark#red robin#danny phantom#writing prompt#brain child#no ships#should I continue this?#I've never written these characters (on my own) before but I've fallen down a rabbit hole and I felt the need to jump on the train#should I post other stories here?#would y'all be interested in seeing some of my other works?#I should actually link my ao3 here#I'll stop now#captain marvel#shazam#coffee#caffeine#justice league meeting#word ending threat#writing#fanfic#fandom#phandom#dcxdp#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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I have an obsession with Batfam meets the Justice League fics and headcanons in general, and my favorite situation is when the JL fully knows Nightwing, he's on the team, they all like him quite a bit, and he's so charming and open seeming that they all collectively forget that they don't know anything about him.
I want that, then on a mission, fighting a magic user of some sort, Nightwing gets zapped back to young Robin age. So everyone else on said mission is left confronted with 9 year old Dick Grayson in full Robin gear, who is fully ready to fight every single one of them, and they generally have no idea what's happening or who this child is, other than the fact that he's probably young Nightwing, except he won't answer to that name.
And Dick, extremely confused and suspicious because he doesn't know half of the people there, and the ones that he is aware of are wearing different costumes or are just straight up different people than they're supposed to be, proceeds to try and fight them, then actively try to run away.
Then they finally manage to wrangle him back to the Watchtower, trying to grapple with the implications that Nightwing has been a highly trained, costume vigilante since childhood, and managed to break a bone in Green Arrow's hand before they subdued him, and is still thrashing around and trying to bite various League members.
They call Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in to see if they have any idea what to do with him, and when Robin sees Batman, he squirms out of Flash's grasp, runs to Batman, and climbs up his side until he's wrapped himself around his shoulders like he does it every day.
The Bat lets this happen, sighs in exasperation, then calls Zatanna to help.
The League is then left to piece together why tiny child Nightwing ran to Batman for safety, and why Batman seems a whole lot less confused than everyone else.
#batman#comics#dc comics#justice league#batfamily#nightwing#dick grayson#bruce wayne#justice league headcanon#batfamily meets the justice league#dick grayson robin#robin dc#robin dick grayson
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Love when the Justice League thinks Batman is a cryptid. This believe is only further enhanced by the face his sidekick, Robin, is clearly a shapeshifter, what with changing their height, hair style, skin tone, and even gender.
Batman clearly thinks that by having Robin look different every couple of years, it will show that they aren't cryptids like it would if Robin didn't age.
But the Justice League is too smart for that. They figured it out! But they are good friends (colleagues) and won't spill Batman's secret, but they will drop hints to him that they know, to show that they are smarter than he gives them credit for (they aren't.)
-
When the batkids learn that the league thinks this, they start periodically going to the Watchtower with Bruce, taking turns dressed up as Robin.
The League is surprised as Robin seems to prefer taking the form of a child, perhaps to have villains underestimate them? But they just assume Robin is trying out something new.
The batkids definitely tell eachother about what was said/happened as to further sell the act of Robin being a shapeshifter, because clearly it has to be the same person, Robin knows what happened, so it couldn't of been someone else dressed as Robin.
#Bruce just lets it happen because#1) it helps keep an air of mystery around him#if people think he's a cryptid and Robin's a shapeshifter they wont figure out his secret identity#and 2) his kids are getting along#sure they are bonding though mischief#but a win is a win#batman#dc#dc comics#batfam#batfamily#bruce wayne#batkids#jason todd#red hood#dick grayson#nightwing#dc robin#even one's who werent a Robin join in#ie Cass and Duke#the justice league#justice league#justice league meets the batfam#cryptid batfam#cryptid batman#misunderstandings#kat's library
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Yet another JL learns about Batfam post
Featuring: everybody loves Nightwing
So, Nightwing isn’t technically a member of the JL, but everyone knows him and adores him. Even Batman seems to tolerate him fine.
They’re on a mission. Let’s say alien invasion. Or killer robots. Something large scale and dramatic.
Everyone’s fighting in the same general vicinity. Nightwing and Batman just happen (read: either very carefully planned, unconscious habit, or a combination of the two) to be fairly close together.
Suddenly, an explosion happens. Everyone is knocked down. Including the aliens/robots. Conveniently, they stop being an issue now, so we can focus on The Reveal.
Anyway, everyone knocked down. They start to get up and look around, checking to see that everyone is fine. And it looks like everyone is well and accounted for, except…
Nightwing!
Where’s Nightwing? They all start to panic (except Batman). Is Nightwing okay? Where did he go? Is he hurt?
And then Nightwing ducks out from under Batman’s cape, with a grin on his face, sunny and cheerful as ever.
“Well it looks like that instinct is fully intact. Explosion? Duck under the cape.”
He laughs at himself and Batman’s face twitches in what his family would read as a smile and most of the JL thinks they’re hallucinating.
“Do you two know each other?” They want to ask. And it’s been long enough that it would probably be awkward to ask. But they’re confused/curious enough that they might ask anyway.
#if you haven’t noticed yet I really like the Batkids under B’s cape#batman#bruce wayne#nightwing#dick grayson#bruce and dick#batman’s cape#justice league#batfam#JL meets the batfam
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A continuation of this post:
There is a teenager in the Watchtower.
Scratch that, there is a teenager that Bruce doesn't know in the Watchtower. The boy, maybe around Tim's age, is wearing worn blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a pair of tennis shoes that had seen better days.
He is wearing no mask, no suit of armor, with no weapons on him. He's just sitting in one of the seats in their larger meeting room, quite literally twiddling his thumbs. He hadn't noticed Batman standing in the doorway.
Behind him, he heard Clark coming round the corner, Bruce lifted up a gloved hand which made the man stop.
"What is it, Bats?"
Bruce sent the man a look before motioning to the boy, who had definitely noticed them now.
He waved at them.
"Who is that? Don't you normally require all your new kids wear costumes up here?" Clark asked.
"Unknown." Bruce said before giving his friend a look. "He's not mine."
Why does everyone assume it's his kid? Just because this boy has dark hair and blue eyes does not mean he belongs to Bruce. Clark has nearly the same looks as Bruce, and he had two kids, why couldn't this one be one of his?
"He's not mine either!" Clark said before frowning. "Not that I know of."
Bruce lifted up an eyebrow, knowing his friend could see it beneath his cowl. Clark rolled his eyes.
"Let's be honest if he was one of mine, you would know before I would."
Bruce grunted and turned back to the teenager. The kid was clearly listening in on them while looking away from them. Bruce watched as he tapped on the table in front of him, making little staccato noises of anxiety.
"Why are we waiting out here?" Barry asked, appearing right in a blur of red and yellow right as he did. Clark pointed at the unknown in the meeting room. Barry grinned widely beneath his own cowl, making the rubbery material crinkle.
"Batsy! Another one? You sly dog, where'd you find this one?"
"He's not mine." Bruce growled, Barry actually froze for a moment, shock slowing him down to normal speed for a moment.
"Nice joke, Bats. If he's not yours, then whose is he?"
Bruce clenched his jaw, Barry looked between the two of them, head flipping rapidly until he realized it wasn't a joke. In the corner of his eye, he could see that the unknown was openly staring at them with a smile forming on his face.
"We are in space." Barry hissed. "How'd a random kid get in here?"
"Excuse me?"
Behind the three hero pile up, Arthur arrived. The King looked less than pleased at having his way impeded.
"I come to these bi-monthly meetings due to their importance. I have an entire kingdom to manage, so if we could all move?"
"Bats has a new kid!" Barry nearly shouted.
"He's not mine!" Bruce growled while Arthur looked up and over Barry to see the unknown.
"Do we have a security breach?" Arthur asked.
"He's not yours yet!" Barry said at the same time, lifting up a finger and pointing it right at Bruce's face.
"We don't know who it is or how they got here." Clark said. "He doesn't seem hostile."
"Appearances can be deceiving, Superman." Arthur said , pursing his lips. Bruce turned to see that the boy had now waved in greeting at Arthur and Barry. Barry waved back.
"Are we having a hallway party or something?" Captain Marvel asked. "A party sounds waaaay more fun than a meeting, no offense Batman."
"We have an intruder, Captain." Arthur said pointing directly at the kid.
The kid's eyes widened and he looked behind himself before pointing at his own chest in surprise.
"He doesn't seem like an intruder?" Marvel said with a frown. "What if he's lost?"
"The watchtower is a secure facility, people don't get here by accident." Bruce said.
"I dunno, Batman." Marvel shrugged. "We have aliens, magicians, and time travelers on our team. He could be lost."
Bruce refused to admit the genial man had a point, the unknown could be from anywhere or anywhen. From further down the hallway, John and Diana appeared, walking together. Diana was holding a glass filled with one of Barry's chocolate protein shakes. John nodded in greeting at the group.
"We have an intruder Wonder Woman." Arthur said.
Diana looked through the crowd before shaking her head.
"Nonsense. He has permission to be here. Come, we should sit for the meeting."
Diana muscled her way through the crowd, still carrying the glass. She walked directly over to the unknown. The boy perked up, smiling widely as Diana held out the glass for him
"Thanks, i was getting hungry." The boy said before taking a large gulp of the shake, Diana smiled down at the boy, resting her hand in his dark hair.
"Woah. Plot twist." Barry whispered.
"Come on, let's get to the bottom of this." Clark said walking into the room, following the path Diana took.
The rest of the League followed suit, taking their assigned seats around the table. Bruce wasn't surprised to see that the unknown was sitting in an extra chair right next to Diana.
"To start the meeting." Diana said onc everyone was seated. "I do have some news to share."
"Yeah, I sure hope so." Marvel said in that strange, joking tone he used as if he were quoting something, not that Bruce had ever been able to recognize the quotes.
"I would like to introduce the Justice League to my son, Daniel of Themyscira." Diana said, putting her arm around the unknown and squeezing him to her side.
"Hi." Daniel said, waving at the group, his cheeks a bit red.
Immediately, there was an uproar from most everyone in the League. Questions and shouts of confusion, shock, and denial. Diana only allowed the noise for a few moments before she slammed her fist onto the table hard enough to crack it.
"Enough!" She shouted, quickly quelling the group. "I will not allow my decision to bring my son here be questioned."
She glared at them fiercely, still holding Daniel to her side. The boy had ducked down a bit with the shouting but was now looking up at Diana with adoration.
"This entire team, aside from Captain Marvel, has brought their young charges to the League." Diana continued, looking at each of them. "Superman has brought up two Superboys, Aquaman introduced to us Aqualad, Flash has both Impulse and Kid Flash, Martian Manhunter came to us with Miss Martian. I do not believe we even have time to list all of Batman's brood."
Barry had the audacity to snort at Diana's last point. That actually eased the tension and people relaxed. Diana leaned back into her seat.
"I would think that my team of many years would trust my judgment in bringing my son here. I assure you he is well into his training and more than competent. I will allow you all to ask your questions now."
Bruce cleared his throat near silently and spoke up first.
"What does he know?"
Diana didn't look impressed at his question. Daniel looked at her face before frowning at Bruce, clearly following his mother's lead.
"I have spoken at length about the League and how we work together. I assure you that i have not revealed any identities shared in confidence with me." Diana's tone made it clear she was offended that Bruce would accuse her of revealing their identities. He barely kept from wincing.
"Uhm. How did he... come to be?" Clark asked, clearly not wanting to ask any truly intimate details.
"In the way all children do." Diana said, giving Clark a look of his own.
That answer was not very helpful given that Diana was formed from clay by her mother. Had she taken a pottery class when he wasn't looking? Unless the boy was much older than he appeared, there was no way Diana had hidden a pregnancy from them 15 or so years ago.
"Why haven't we heard of him before now?" Arthur asked.
"Daniel was training with Pandora, one of the elders of Themyscira, she sent him here when he learnt all she had to teach. He joined me in the world of man only a few months ago." Diana answered simply.
"Uh. Excuse my ignorance." Barry said in a tone that made it clear he was about to say something very ignorant indeed. "But I thought your family only had women in it?"
This time Daniel answered, looking nervous.
"I'm. I'm trans actually." he answered, while rubbing his arm nervously.
"Which is completely fine and something that will not leave this room." Diana said, her voice comforting towards her son while her eyes promised hellfire to the heroes in the room.
Everyone made noises of agreement until Daniel relaxed, going back to smiling.
"Excuse me Wonder Woman, will Daniel be wanting to join any of the other, younger teams?" Captain Marvel asked, sounding excited at the idea.
Which of course he would, he was still acting Den Mother for Young Justice and loving it.
"That is up to him. For now I would like to keep him to myself for a while longer, but once he is further trained by myself I think it would be a splendid opportunity."
"Yes!" Daniel agreed before clearing his throat. "I mean, that'd be cool or whatever."
"We can discuss it in the future." Bruce allowed, knowing that it would probably happen sooner than Diana would want knowing how both the Teen Titans and Young Justice were. Danny nodded eagerly at that.
"Finish your food." Diana told Daniel before looking back up at the rest of the team. "Are there any more questions?"
"Does Daniel have any health requirements or powers we need to be aware of?" John asked. "Or is his physiology the same as your own?"
"His powers are vastly different from my own. It is one of the reasons Pandora had taken on his training in the beginning." Diana answered easily. "The facilities and resources we have here should work well for him in case of injury."
The knowledge that Daniel's powers were so different from Diana's that she didn't feel comfortable training him herself was worrisome. Amazons, as far as he knew, had relatively similar powersets. Although he had not heard of Pandora before, perhaps she was specialized?
"I do have, what's it called? An enhanced metabolism. Most stuff here doesn't work on me."
"Don't worry son. We have plenty of medications designed with metas in mind." Clark told Danny. "If it works on me and your mom, it willl work for you."
"Cool."
"What all can you do?" Captain Marvel asked.
Daniel turned to look at Diana who nodded. The boy then looked back at them and started listing his powers.
"I can fly. Not as fast as mom's invisible jet but pretty fast. I'm super strong. I can turn invisible and intangible."
"Intangible?" Clark asked.
"It is an ability similar to Martian Manhunter's density shifting." Diana clarified. "The mechanisms are different."
Magical, most likely, instead of John's more science based power. Bruce would have to come up with more contingencies to compensate for that.
"Yeah intangibility is pretty cool." Daniel told them. "Althought when i first got it, it was pretty scary. I kept falling through stuff. I was almost afraid I'd start falling through the whole planet by accident. I totally have it under control now though."
"I would be interested in comparing our abilities, Daniel." John said, nodding his head towards him. The boy beam excitedly.
"Yeah!"
"Not in the Watchtower." Diana warned, voice stern.
Yes, that was probably sensible. Danny agreed with his mother, and John clarified that he would be happy to meet up planetside at their convenience.
"Are those all of your abilities?" Barry asked, Daniel shook his head.
"No there are a bunch more. But I'm not supposed to use them for a while."
"Why?"
"My son is powerful, but he has relied on his powers far too much in the past." Diana said, sounding porud enough to make her son blush. "Right now, I am training his melee abilities, we have agreed to a temporary pause until he has met my standards."
"It's been super tough. Mom's making me practice with her sword all the time." Danny added on.
"My mother will be sending on your own weapon soon." Diana soothed. "Hephestes does not like to be rushed."
"I know mom."
Diana reached up and ruffled her son's hair. Daniel leaned into the affection with a smile.
"Are there any further questions?" Diana asked, when no one had anything immediately she nodded. "Good. Is there any further business? If not, I would like to take my son home for a proper meal."
Everyone looked at each other. Bruce had wanted to discuss some of his findings, but with Diana's reveal, it hardly seemed important any longer. Bruce was going to need to do a lot of research and planning. He wondered if he should get Tim involved or if he should hold off. The League agreed to end the meeting early, Diana stood.
"Come Daniel. We should get to the jet."
Daniel scrambled up and followed his mother out of the meeting room, his worn sneakers squeaking a bit on the flooring. The rest of the League sat in silence for a moment taking in what Diana had told them.
Wonder Woman had a child. A child with powers beyond her own.
Daniel popped back into the room before anyone could speak.
"Gosh, I am sorry I almost forgot. Mr. Batman, I have something for you."
Daniel walked right over to Bruce, who stared at him from underneath the cowl. The boy was not nearly as confident as his mother when it came to his glare. He cringed a bit, but reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny, silver and green flash drive. He placed it on the table and stepped back.
"What is that?"
"Mom told me you like to make contingencies for everyone. In case they go crazy or whatever. So..." The boy motioned to the drive with his hand. "I mean, it'd be weird if i made my own plans, but like, you could do it. That has all my powers and weaknesses and stuff."
Bruce grabbed the flash drive and the boy looked pleased.
"Okay! I gotta go. It was awesome meeting you guys!"
Daniel turned on his heel and ran out of the room. Bruce looked down at the flash drive, doing his best to hide his shock. No one has ever just handed him a list of their weaknesses before.
"I dunno Bats, are you sure he's not yours?" Barry asked.
#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp crossover#Wonder Woman#mother diana prince#diana prince#my writing#in this au danny takes the place of donna troy#i apologize wonder girl fans for the erasure#also the green laterns were too busy for this meeting#Justice League#JLAxDP#jokes about Batmans adoption problem#and jokes about his contingency plans all in one!#might make this a fully fledged thing#i dunno#batman#the flash#superman#martian manhunter#aquaman#young justice#captain marvel#long fic#long for tumblr at least#put in a readmore to save people's dash#trans danny#diana of themyscira
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Imagine, JL doesn't know about Batman's family, and Batman's at a JL meeting running on 3 hours of sleep in the past few days and he slips up and says "My kids" and then everyone, including Batman, is silent.
They are silent and waiting for Batman to say something before they start asking questions.
"My KIDS"
He stands up and runs out the meeting room and to the zetas or his plans yelling something about leaving them all to patrol Gotham without adult supervision from one of the sirens or Batwing or Batwoman because even though at least 3 of them are adults, they are siblings.
All maturity with siblings flies out the window when you're around each other.
Anyways, the JL are entirely confused and yelling out to Batman about what kids and what supervision but he's long gone by then.
#dc#batfam#bruce wayne#batfam headcanons#batman#justice league#The justice league hasn't met the batfam#justice league meets the batfam
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Danny meets JL members #7
[Danny "being the little shit he is" floating around the Watchtower, minding his own business.]
[Martian Manhunter approaches, phasing through a nearby wall.]
Danny: [startles] Dude! Ever heard of knocking? Martian Manhunter: You phase through walls yourself. Danny: Yeah, but I’m the ghost kid. You’re, like… a space ghost.
Martian Manhunter: I am J’onn J’onzz, the last survivor of Mars. Danny: [grins] Sweet. I’m Danny Fenton, the half-survivor of Earth. J’onn: [pauses] That is… unusually dark for a teenager.
[J’onn and Danny comparing abilities]
Danny: Okay, so you can phase through walls, shape-shift, and read minds? J’onn: Correct. Danny: I can phase, fly, shoot ectoplasm, and scream so loud it shatters windows. J’onn: Fascinating. Danny: Wait—can you do that thing where you get really big and scary? J’onn: Do you mean this? [transforms into a massive, monstrous figure] Danny: [wide-eyed] Okay, yeah, that’s terrifying. Teach me.
J’onn: Your abilities seem to stem from ectoplasmic energy. Danny: Uh-huh. And yours come from… Martian vibes? J’onn: [calmly] We call it genetic superiority. Danny: [grinning] Fancy way of saying “alien magic.” Got it.
[Danny tries to prank J’onn]
Danny: [invisible, sneaks up behind J’onn] Boo! J’onn: [doesn’t flinch] Your ectoplasmic signature gave you away. Danny: Dang it! How’d you know? J’onn: [smiling slightly] I could hear you laughing before you phased.
[Martian Manhunter Reads Danny’s Mind (danny let him)]
J’onn: Your thoughts are… chaotic. Danny: Thanks. I try. J’onn: You also appear to be replaying a jingle about snacks in your head. Danny: [grinning] It’s a coping mechanism.
[In the Watchtower Cafeteria]
J’onn: Earth food is… peculiar. Danny: [eating a sandwich] You’re not wrong. So what do you eat? J’onn: Martian plants and thought energy. Danny: Thought energy? That sounds like something a ghost would do. Are you sure you’re not, like, half-ghost too? J’onn: [raises an eyebrow] I am not. Danny: Sure, sure. That’s what I said before I fell into a portal.
[Later, J’onn texting the Justice League Group Chat]
J’onn: The ghost child is… peculiar. The Flash: That’s just Danny. Green Lantern: Did he prank you yet? J’onn: He tried. It was… underwhelming. Danny: [joins chat] I’ll get you next time, Space Dad. J’onn: I am not your “Space Dad.” Danny: [grinning] Too late.
#danny fenton#dc x dp#danny is a little shit#dpxdc#ghost king danny#dc x dp crossover#danny phantom#batfam#dps fandom#danny meets justice leauge members#part 7#batman#superman#j’onn j’onzz#martian manhunter#the flash#wonder woman#justice league#green lantern#sassy danny#space dad#all along the watchtower#danny in space
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"justice league doesn't know batman has kids" and by some freak incident, they end up meeting them all at once, after never having one single sneaking suspicion of batman being a family guy.
you've got every batkid + justice league member in the same room, and bruce tries for a total of 6 seconds to diffuse the situation before giving up.
there's bats left right and centre making completely false claims about how their family came to be, just to stir shit. also purposely trying to ruin batman's 'stoic and mean' reputation as best as they can.
jason and steph are telling everyone that they're all bio kids, and bruce does try and correct that one (some of those kids don't even belong to him in a non-bio way!!) but not before tim pipes up and goes 'well actually it depends what you count as biological, he grew me in a lab'.
dick's taking full advantage of the JL's perception of batman being oh so impressionable in the moment, and is telling stories of his childhood + batman raising his younger siblings, making him out to be the softest guy to ever exist (completely on purpose). cass is nodding along next to him, and making sure whenever she adds a comment that she uses the word 'dad' instead of batman just for the extra domestic flare.
babs and jason are explaining how they all consider themselves bats, in a way that would make anyone believe that they're in a cult. bruce is standing amidst it all, an immovable object, with dick's arm on his shoulder, and damian huddled into his side (ALL for dramatic flare. they need the JL to know that he's. just a guy with kids).
#i've seen a lot of good posts where people talk them meeting the kids one by one#but i do enjoy this idea....#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cass cain#steph brown#barbara gordon#nightwing#red hood#red robin#robin#batgirl#oracle#dc orphan#dc spoiler#jla#justice league#dc comics#dcu#dc#gothihop speaks
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Danny deeply distrusts the Justice League
Based on the wonderful @saltymarshmall0w 's prompt.
I really feel like they aren't enough fanfics or prompts where Danny dislikes the Justice League — and continues to dislike them even after everything (Anti-Ecto Acts) is revealed and taken care of. (Or maybe I'm not looking in the right places — if you guys have any recommendations put them in the Tags or Comments!)
Read on ao3. Masterpost
After many years Danny has finally retired — sure he had to leave everything he loved and that was familiar to him behind for it, but it was worth it. He had a small little house that was his own, he would water his plants every morning and make small talk with his neighbors. Everything was fine.
Everything turns not so fine, when there’s a sudden knock on his door. Expecting it to be one of his neighbors — for example needing eggs or flour (a neighbor’s kid had needed eggs to bake one of her parents a cake and Danny had been more than willing to spare the few she needed) — he opens the door without a second thought.
Only to almost immediately want to close it again.
Because that’s the Justice League standing in front of his door. And that can mean nothing good.
Before Danny can slam the door closed, Superman‘s shoe slides in between the door frame, blocking his escape. The smile the man shoots him is probably meant to be reassuring, but the only thing Danny feels is dread.
To most civilians the Justice League is seen as a beacon of hope — but to Danny? He knows the bitter truth. When he needed them the most they turned his back on him before chasing him across half the globe calling him a villain without even hearing his side of the story. They handed him over the GIW for Ancient’s Sake. He would have died if it weren’t for Tucker and Sam. (He may not have scars to show for it but he can still feel his chest burn when he thinks back to it.) Not that they can remember that though. He still doesn’t trust them.
“You are Danny Fenton, correct?” Superman asks and Danny stiffens.
Fenton — not Nightingale like he has changed his surname into to escape his parents influence and leave everything behind.
“Yes,” he says warily — seeing no point in lying. Considering Batman is lingering behind Superman the Detective would figure it out instantly.
“And you used to be Amity’s Park’s vigilante Phantom?”
Danny grips the door frame, knuckles white. What’s their point? Are they trying to intimidate him?
“Yes,” he grits out.
“We were told that you are the one we should seek out in matters involving Ghosts and the Infinite Realms,” Superman continues, but Danny doesn’t let him finish.
“I’m retired,” he interrupts. “Find someone else.”
“There’s a world-ending event,” Superman says like that would convince Danny. Like Danny hadn’t lived though so many of them — had to prevent them from happening without anyone’s help every single time. Guilt-tripping much? “Even if you don’t want to fight — we need you as an advisor.”
Danny snorts, shaking his head.
“Go take up the matter with the Justice League Dark then.”
Danny moves to close the door, but still Superman’s foot doesn’t budge. He could probably brute-force his way through this — but Danny’s tired and he’s not in the mood to explain to his neighbors why his door is broken and he needs to do repairs.
He glares at them and to his surprise Superman actually takes a step back — but still not enough to be able to close the door.
Danny hasn’t transformed into Phantom since he left Amity Park. Had kept that part of himself locked away — would have separated his Ghost Self from himself if he didn’t know he would be selfish for that. Had ignored his Obsession even if it screamed at him — had pushed it away in his Human Form even if it muted all the colors around him and it meant that every breath was a painful wheeze.
Faced with this situation he almost wants to break the promise he made to himself — but he can’t.
There is no GIW anymore — Danny had made sure of that. He had wiped all of their files and his parents published research with the help of Technus. He had dismantled both portals to the Ghost Zone and made sure no one would be able to replicate it. But Danny also knows the Justice League — knows how much Superman’s punches hurt, how it feels to get mind controlled — they could overpower him in an instant if he twitched as much as into the wrong direction.
He really doesn’t have a choice here, doesn’t he? If he doesn’t go out of his free will — they will force him with any means necessary, of that much he is sure.
His gaze trails to his neighbor’s house and the swing in their backyard. And if they are right and he turns them away — is he sure he won’t feel any guilt if something happens that he could have prevented? Sometimes Danny really hates his Martyr Complex.
Danny sighs, defeated.
“What do you need my help for?”
They had liked their new neighbor despite the fact that he barely left his house other than to water his plants. They had known that the young man was sickly. He looked like death wormed him over and was weak on his feet— his ice-blue eyes dull. His smile barely held any warmth in it.
Still they invited them over after he had given their daughter eggs to bake the cake for their birthday. They learned that he was kind and had escaped to their small village to live a quiet life.
When the young man came to tell them that he would be out of town for a few days and to please water his plants if they could, they were worried.
“Are you sure that you are fine, son?” they asked and touched the man’s forehead — but it was icily cold like the rest of their skin had always been. “You look even paler than usual.”
The young man had only given them a half-hearted smile and affirmed them that he was fine
Their daughter's excited steps had hurried behind them and she tugged on their pants after the man had left.
“Was that Uncle Danny?” the girl asked. “Can I play with him?”
They gave their daughter a weak smile.
“Uncle Danny is busy for a few days,” they explained. “Later, okay? How about you draw him a picture while we wait for him to come back? So he has something to look forward to?”
Their daughter nodded and raced back to the living room, searching for supplies, while they continued looking out of the window. They can’t help but have a bad feeling about this.
It’s unnerving how quiet the young man is.
There are no easy smiles, sassy quips and puns like from the few shaky phone videos they had pulled from the internet about Phantom.
He’s meticulous. Probably even more than Batman — and that is a statement. There had been a deep mistrust in the eyes when they had located him and asked him to help them. It’s evident in every step he makes. He double-, even triple-checks every single evidence, every single sentence, every single word they say.
Nothing is left unturned as he works the way though the situation like if he is dealing with a case. He never stops moving, always doing something — reading through heavy leather-bound books or through their reports. His heart rate is so slow that Clark sometimes wonders if the boy is still breathing at all.
When the young man had asked them if they spoke to the leader regarding the war declaration and the reasons behind them, he had clicked his tongue when they told him no.
He hadn’t let anyone help him when he drew out the summoning cycle — it looked even more intricate and complicated than they had seen from Zatanna or Constantine. When he had spoken the words for the spell, his words had sounded ancient and undescribable — hushed whispers following every single word. He clasped his hands and only opened his eyes when he spoke the last word, his eyes burning a deep green.
The cycle goes up in green fire before a form appears — Clark recognizes the Ghost from the declaration.
The man’s cold gaze sweeps over the Justice League before it stops on Phantom. He smirks, bowing his head slightly.
“I greet the Prince of the Infinite Realms.”
“Cut the crap Fright Knight,” Phantom's voice is steel-hard. “We both know I refused that position.”
The man tilts his head but nods.
“Very well,” he says. “I greet Phantom, savior of the Infinite Realms.”
Phantom grits his teeth like he wants to refuse that title too before he shakes his head. He gestures to the Justice League.
“Explain.”
“We are just paying back what has been done to us,” Fright Knight claims. “Vita brevis, ars longa, occasio praeceps, experimentum periculosum, iudicium difficile.”
“Life is short, art is long, opportunity fleeting, experiment treacherous, judgment difficult,” Diana translates for them.
“I see the Daughter of the Queen of the Amazons knows her arts,” the man’s voice has a hint of mockery. “Humanum genus est avidum nimis auricularum. Ignorantia legis non excusat:”
Diana’s eyebrows knit together as she listens.
“Mankind is too greedy for lies. Ignorance of the law does not excuse,” her voice is almost a whisper.
“I would have thought you would know of this Phantom,” Fright Knight addresses the young man again. “But now seeing your state, you probably didn’t feel the call for the announcement either. Is there a reason why you are starving yourself?”
Phantom doesn’t meet any of their eyes as he answers.
“That is unimportant to this situation.”
Fright Knight’s lips twitch back into a grin.
“If the savior of the Infinite Dreams claims so, then I have no choice but to accept it.” He turns back to the Justice League. “Si vis pacem, para bellum.”
“If you want peace, prepare for war.”
“When have we been ignorant?” Batman finally steps in.
Fright Knight huffs out a dark laugh.
“When has mankind not been ignorant?” Fright Knight questions. “When your government captured my brethren and tortured them, where were you? When they declared us as non-sentient and staged war against us, where were you? When they threatened to destroy our home, where were you?”
The man’s eyes seem to burn as he repeats himself.
“Where were you?”
Clark and the rest of the League are shocked to silence.
“Now that the danger has passed, why should we just forgive you? Why should we forget?” Fright Knight continues. “If we are not worthy enough to be counted towards mankind that means we just have to rewrite the rules. And since we were never given the chance to negotiate, that means by force.”
“The Meta-Protection Acts-”
“Only count towards those that are alive.” Fright Knight interrupts Batman. “After all, how can the dead feel any emotions such as pain? I’m sure if you ask your government they will hand you a lot of pretty reports on the biased experiments that prove so.”
“But that’s-” Clark starts but Fright Knight doesn’t let him finish.
“Despicable? When has that ever stopped mankind?” Fright Knight asks. “We can talk if there isn't a law that states that we can be eradicated without any consequences.”
Before either of them can stop him, Fright Knight swishes his cape made out of purple fire and disappears. Clark faintly asks himself if that is how other people feel when Batman does that in front of their noses.
Seeing no other option the entire League turns back to Phantom who hasn’t said a single word since the Ghost went on his tirade.
“Phantom-” Batman tries, but the young man’s eyes burn with so much hate that the normally stoic man stocks in his words.
“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Phantom seethes. “You heard him. Now finally do your jobs right for once.”
Then he leaves the room without a single glance back.
Clark gulps as they look at each other.
“I feel like we made a mistake.”
When the news declares the Anti-Ecto Acts as abolished, Danny feels nothing but exhaustion. The Justice League barely managed to avoid a large-scale — and very justified war.
Danny leans back tiredly on his sofa. His eyes trail to the drawing his neighbor’s daughter had given him and the first genuine smile in months graces his lips.
“What I don’t do for mankind,” he sighs before he closes his eyes.
#dc x dp#dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#justice league#danny meets justice league#danny is not the ghost king#yoonjae20 writing#yoonjae20#fright knight#anti-ecto acts#dc x dp crossover
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Duke meeting the JL but it goes wrong.
We've all heard about Jason getting apprehended by the JL because they don't know Red Hood isn't a villain. Now get ready for, Duke Thomas getting apprehended by the JL because they don't believe he's new and they don't believe he's part of the bat clan.
They just see this new vigilante in Gotham who's the only one that works the day shift, has not been seen with the batman in person (that they know of, bc they don't actually have a pair of good eyes in Gotham that isn't Bruce and Bruce ain't telling them shit.) with no history of being a Robin.
They draw their conclusions, realize that this must be a copycat and therefore dangerous towards other and himself and decide to bring him in, because Bruce is of world somewhere.
Duke just lets it happen, faintly complaining about racial profiling while he waits for the rest of the family to break into the watchtower and embarrass the fuck out of the justice league.
#duke thomas#the signal#batfam#batman#JL#justice league#batfam meets the justice league#it's so caotic#Duke is an asshole on purpose because my boy deserves to be sassy#we don't have nough sassy duke in this world and im the change i want to see
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Okay, so, crisis averted. Both of them, really. Red Robin had not asked or attempted to get any more of Danny's drink and the World Ending Crisis was less World Ending and more World Threatening. Either way, no one is hyped up in lethal amounts of caffeine and the world is in no more pieces than it had been before.
That brings attention to a new problem, though. It's uniquely Danny's problem and Constantine and Zatanna and Deadman won't stop laughing at him. He's also pretty sure that Raven is laughing at him in the privacy of her mind, so that's making him feel worse.
The problem is that every single hero that had been at the meeting a week ago that was not a part of the JLD has been overly concerned about him.
So what if he half died when he was fourteen and therefore will never look over either fourteen or eighteen? So what if he consumes enough caffeine to kill an elephant within a few minutes? What is he gonna do, die? That's not a real threat as long as he only fights as Phantom.
Ignoring the fact that he can, in fact, get hurt to the point of near death as Phantom. It's not like anyone knows that, though! Besides, ghosts run on god rules. They can't die, only fade when forgotten. People aren't likely to forget about most ghosts, though, even if they can't remember their names.
He's not gonna share that, though. Let Batman keep his contingency that won't work because the only contingency that will work for Phantom is the one he made himself. Tried and tested! He's marked it off of his Bingo Card.
Anyway. Heros and their kids/proteges have been trying to track him down for the entire week. He can't risk even leaving the House of Mysteries because the Supers are all probably listening out for him and they can't hear him through magic. It sucks. He just wants to go get a cup of coffee as Danny. The second he leaves, though, the Supers will be on him like bloodhounds. He'd leave as Danny, but the rest of the JLD don't know what he looks like as Danny and he'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much. Being stuck as Phantom was going to start causing issues to his human half if he doesn't get to leave soon.
Should he risk it? Is coffee that won't kill him really worth risking the Supers finding out his civilian identity? Sure, they wouldn't tell anyone, but he didn't like the idea of someone being able to pick him out of a crowd when all he wanted to do was blend in. It's why he avoided Gotham and Bludhaven, actually, but that's both self explanatory and another story for another time.
"You're still here?" Zatanna sat on the couch beside him. "You're normally gone by now. You can't not be tired of us yet."
He sighed and sunk down into the couch slightly. "Believe me, I'm tired of being stuck here, but I can't leave. I can't leave as a human because you guys don't know what I look like and, no offense, but I'd like to keep it that way. I can't leave as I am now because Superman will be on my ass quicker than I can blink!" He whined this time, "I just want a cup of coffee."
"What about your special brew?" Raven asked, coming into the room.
"I want to drink coffee as a human. That stuff will kill me if I drink it as a human."
"At least you know your limits."
"That sounded like a dig at someone, Z."
"It was."
"Why don't you just go out under a protection spell?" Raven offered, "We could cast one over you and you could leave. Superman can't hear through magic, so he won't be able to tell. Neither will Superboy."
Danny thought for a second. "You're a genius, Raven! Has anyone ever told you that?"
"A few times," she blushed.
"Well, it needs to be said more!"
Zatanna laughed. "Alright, kid, let's get you outside before you drive yourself crazy."
Practically vibrating in place, Danny waited for the protection spell to settle over him. The second it did, he was out the door and wandering the streets of whatever city the House of Mysteries decided to drop him as Danny instead of Phantom.
"Who are you," was not the question or voice he wanted to hear the second he stepped into the open as himself.
"Danny," he squeaked out through his absolute panic. He didn't dare turn around.
The sound of fabric moving minutely clues him in to the second person behind him. What the hell were these two doing out? It's the middle of the day and there's no attacks going on anywhere in Gotham!
"Where did you come from?" Robin asked.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! This was really bad! Why did the House drop him *here* of all places? Does it *want* him to die again? It was very painful the first time, thank you very much! "Illinois?"
"Was that a question or an answer?" Why is Red Robin here now?!
"An-an answer?"
"Ah, you guys are scaring the little guy!" That was Nightwing. They're surrounding him! Why is Nightwing here? This is Gotham, not Bludhaven. "Give him some room to breathe."
They did not, in fact, give him room to breathe. Maybe coming outside was a bad idea. If he gets out of this no more dead than he already was, he was going to move to the middle of nowhere and become a hermit. Smallville is a town in the middle of nowhere, right? He'll retire as Phantom and move to Smallville until the people get suspicious and burn him as a witch-!
Maybe moving to a big city would be a better idea. Or locking himself in the basement of the House of Mysteries. Yeah, yeah that's a good idea.
"-even listening?"
Oh shit. They were still talking to him! Now is not the time to panic! "Gottagobye!" And then he was running.
Good job not panicking, Danny.
Part 1 Part 3
#dc x dp#justice league#justice league dark#danny phantom#zatanna#raven#john constantine#no ships#writing#brain child#I wrote this instead of working on any of my current wips#justice league meeting#dc x dp crossover#dcxdp#dcxdpdabbles#fanfic#fandom#phandom#danny is having a crisis#no more caffeine yet#batfam#the batfam do not know how to approach someone normally#especially when they're in costume#the house of mystery#the house of mysteries is a little shit#the supers can't hear through magic because they're weak to magic#secret identity#secret identities#Enough Caffeine to Kill an Elephant
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Batfam meets the Justice League fic idea where it's actually just Oliver Queen in Star City attempting to hunt down Red Hood (who isn't even there doing crimes actually, he's just visiting Roy, but Ollie doesn't know this) except every time he tracks him down, he finds another costumed vigilante (Read: Batfam) attempting to get his help for something.
And like, Ollie recognizes them, of course. Because isn't that Nightwing? Nightwing who is actively on the Justice League? Why is he asking an infamous crime lord to come home for dinner?
And then, a week later, he's tracking down another Red Hood sighting and.... that's Red Robin. He's in charge of Young Justice, isn't he? And he just fought Red Hood in an alley and then stood up like nothing happened and bugged him for intelligence on a case he's working, and Red Hood gave it to him?
And it just keeps going down the list until Ollie's at his wits end and partially convinced that a handful of vigilantes on various teams, who he can't for the life of him think of a way they might be connected, might actually be corrupt and working with the mob, then he (begrudgingly) follows reports of another sighting of Red Hood and... that's Batman, arguing with Red Hood but not actually fighting or detaining him, so Ollie sneaks closer and listens to the conversation and... it's the dinner thing again. Family dinner, he hears a few seconds later, and someone named Agent A would really like it if Hood came home for a few hours.
Ollie leaves that situation somehow far more confused than when he started, and he was already extremely confused.
Roy is fully aware that this is happening the entire time and is having the time of his life.
#batman#comics#dc comics#batfamily#justice league#justice league headcanon#batfamily meets the justice league#oliver queen#green arrow#red hood#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#nightwing#tim drake#red robin#batfamily headcanons#batfam#batfam shenanigans
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I have such a soft spot for the JL forming while the Batfam is alredy big and out there, like I mean Bruce being like 39 and Dick already 27 kind of vibes. Especially if the JL has no clue abt them, it's just so funny to me. Bc they know Batman has been doing it for a long time already and they've heard rumors of more heroes in Gotham, but theyve never been confirmed and Batman keeps them away and they respect him enough to listen. Then the JL enlist Nightwing, who is closer to the average age of the JL, who has already been protecting his city for nearing a decade. And he's professional competent and they don't think any of it when he and Batman work well together, because humans stick together they guess.
Only for Batman to randomly lick his thumb to get some food of Nightwing's face and Nightwing whining: "Daaaaad," all embarrassed, shocking the entire JL, which isn't at all help when Dick adds: "I'm too old for this, go clean Robin's face." And then they have another heartattack, because Batman sounds almost sad when he replies: "Soon you're all going to be too old for this." Which causes Nightwing to pat his back and say: "Don't worry, B. We're never going to be too old to get embarrassed by you." Which somehow cheers Batman (dark scary Batman) up. And that's how the JL learns that the two are related and B very much doesn't work alone.
#rrrambles#batman#nightwing#jl#jla#justice league#dc#dc comics#dcu#dc headcanon#batfam headcanons#batfam#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#good parent bruce wayne#jl headcanon#justice league headcanon#batfam meets jl#robin
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Bruce figuring out Captain Marvel is a kid because of him saying some brainrot nonsense he’s heard his kids say is always fantastic, but I think it’d be even funnier if, as a result of the absolute fucking gremlins he calls family, he automatically contributes like a sleeper agent. Like
Captain Marvel: I only have 69¢
Batman, not looking up from his paperwork in the corner, in the most friendly and excited tone the League has ever heard from him: You know what that means! :D
And all of them turn to stare at him just in time to see him give his patented Disappointed Sigh™️, directed at himself for once, and look into the distance as if questioning every single decision that led to this moment. The League is in shock. The younger heroes didn’t think Batman knew what Vine was. Nightwing is laughing so hard he’s sobbing on the floor, because Dick knows damn well it was HIM who caused that
#billy batson#batman#dc universe#dc comics#captain marvel#nightwing#dick grayson#justice league#bruce wayne#bruce is so done#he knows he’s never going to recover#it’s one of the few times he regrets having kids#he’s also strangely tempted to show up to the next meeting with chicken nuggets and just#hand them to captain marvel#he can’t even tell if it’s his kids’ influence#or if it’s his Weird Billionaire™️ coming out#he’s also suddenly wondering if he should be only putting him on missions he’d let Robin go on
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Batman has to constantly remind them he's not going down with the sinking ship when it's not his fault
Superman: Yeah, so we're turning ourselves into the government. Do you want to meet us there, or should we meet with you?
Batman: …
Wonder Woman: Batman, we're on a time crunch. Just give us your answer.
Batman (while driving, hesitating): First, I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Second, my son, who is in the car with me, is also fine… thankfully. Third, are you on crack?
Superman: I… We as a team voted that it's best if we turn ourselves into the government.
Batman (flatly): That's a decision you made. You guys have fun with it. Can I go now?
Wonder Woman: You’re part of the team! You have to turn yourself in!
Batman: Says who?
Wonder Woman: We decided as a team!
Batman: Yes, good for you. Why am I being dragged into this?
Wonder Woman and Superman: YOU ARE PART OF THIS TEAM!
Damian (in the background): Father, can we get McFlurrys later?
Batman (to Damian): Why do people eat those? They taste disgusting.
Damian: You have to get the one with the Oreos.
Superman: We’re still on the call!
Batman (annoyed): Right, not going in. Bye.
Wonder Woman: Don’t end the call! You have to hear us out.
Batman: I should just hang up, but I’m bored and need something entertaining to listen to. Proceed.
Flash (speaking first): Take one for the team, Bruce.
Batman: Okay, first, when I'm on a call with any of you, call me by my hero name. Commissioner Gordon can get away with that, but I’m not on that level with most of you. Second, I’m not on this team if you want me to do this ridiculousness. Third, seriously, are you on crack?
Green Arrow (in the background): Thank you for not saying heroin.
Damian (in the background): Father, why do they think you’re dumb?
Batman: Because they’re not very smart.
Green Arrow (expecting this): It’s amazing how badly this is going. I told you guys he’d say no, but nobody listens to me.
Batman: This is one of the rare times I agree with Arrow. I didn't sign up for a team where we all turn ourselves in for something I didn’t do.
Superman: It’s a team decision.
Batman: I don’t care.
Superman: But it’s for solidarity.
Batman: That I don’t care about.
Superman: Again, we’re a hero team. We’ve saved the world together; can’t you do this one little thing?
Green Lantern (Hal): And his response is…
Batman: Fighting villains, I enjoy. I wouldn’t be on a sports team, a firefighter team, or a doctor team with you if you're going to be this dense, and I sure as hell won't be on this team if you want me to do something this stupid. Is the brain cell you share gone for the day?
Superman: Okay, well… Kara is going with us.
Batman: And I've lost a little respect for her.
Supergirl: Hey! Wait, you had respect for me?
Batman: Did you contact any of my adult kids? Nightwing? Red Robin? I know Red Hood would just laugh before hanging up.
Superman: We haven't called them yet… but I bet they'd say yes!
Batman: No, they wouldn’t. I know that because they just texted my youngest son, who’s with me, and their messages say, “Not a chance in hell.” I didn’t even have to say anything. I raised them well.
Superman: Can’t you put aside your ego and just do this for us?
Batman: Who’s going to pick up my son from school? Go to my daughter's recital? Attend my other son’s group therapy session? Talk to my future fiancée about where I’ll be? Just curious, which one of you will handle that?
Batman waited for a few seconds, and none of the members responded.
Batman: Right. As stated, I'm not going, and if you call me again with this stupid request, I'm cutting the power to the building for a month. I will let that building decay to prove a point.
Damian: You tell 'em, Father!
Batman ended the video call without another word.
Wonder Woman: He’s getting calmer with his reactions.
Green Arrow: Yeah… Guys, maybe we don’t turn ourselves in this time. Maybe we… do something else? Anything else, because he has a point. I'm not sinking in the Titanic when there's a lifeboat.
Aquaman: Good Titanic metaphor.
Green Arrow: Thanks, man.
#batfamily#batman#batfamily shenanigans#batfamily headcanons#batfamily fanfiction#dick grayson#batfamily funny#batfamily adventures#batfamily fluff#batfamily comedy#script fic#mini fics#dc fanfiction#fan writing#batfamily mini fics#flash fiction#wayne family adventures#dc stands for disregard canon#no beta we die like jason todd#writer on ao3#justice league#bruce wayne#batfamily meets the justice league#based off that one episode from the show#ficlet#mini fic#justice league headcanon#batman wayne family adventures#dc fanfic
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Can someone please recommend fics where Dick talks about Jason as his "Baby brother" and people always think he's a kid or something, but then they meet him and just blue screen, because this is a 6'0 dude, decked out in guns as though he's a Christmas tree and they're his ornaments, (bonus points if he threatens to shoot anyone making a move on Dick), and built like a fridge standing next to the superhero version of a flexible sunshine.
Please, I'm begging you, I need these fics for my 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘭.
Also, on that note, if anyone has any fics where Bruce talks about all his kids as his "Babies" and then introduces them to the JL and pretty much the same thing happens, only Bruce adds the whole "I birthed them all" thing (whether it's as a joke or he's actually a cryptid, I don't care).
Please 🙏
#dick grayson#richard grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#batfamily#bat family#batsiblings#bat siblings#batkids#bat kids#batdad#dick grayson and jason todd#jason todd and dick grayson#cryptid batfam#the justice league#justice league#jla#jl#batfamily meets the justice league#dcu#dc#batfam fanfic#batfam fic#batfam fic rec#batfamily fanfiction#batfamily fic
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