eggfriedricedwasian

[eggfriedricedwasian]

I need Lady Shiva is Tim Drake's parent fics.

Scratch that I just need Lady Shiva and Tim Drake fics.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

lady shiva and tim drake

i have honestly no idea how tim and lady shiva's relationship is like, but let's toss canon out of the window and imagine how it could be

bc tim never had a really good parental figure in his life and after jason's death bruce sure as hell wasn't one eiter

so tim just met shiva and he admires her, and she is intrigued by him, so she starts to train him

and i imagine them being close to each other even years later

like shiva knew tim would never follow in her footsteps (still she wishes he would) and tim would never live the way she does, but he accepts it, so i can see them helping each other out

and imagin tim working on a case and needing help, so he calls up lady shiva

bruce, calling tim after she arrived: tim, we need your help, i was informed that lady shiva came to gotham, we have to apprehend her

tim, eating ice cream with lady shiva: i'm kinda busy right now, but i can assure you she's not a threat

cue lady shiva starting to laugh in the background

bruce, confused: who's with you?

Tim, who started to laugh as well: don't worry, just someone i know

bruce, of course, would worry and immediatly locate tim and drive to his apartment with dick, ready to face a fight and rescue tim

but when they get inside, they only see tim and lady shive sitting on the couch watching a movie (probably lord of the rings or smth)

dick, already in fighting stance: tim, why is lady shiva here?

tim, braiding lady shiva's hair like it's the most normal thing to do: oh, i invited her!

and then they all would be so confused and then angry at bruce for sending tim away to train and not checking up on him

jason, after tim finished telling them why he knew her, absolutly flabbergasted: so that's the shadow who beat me up after the whole titan's tower thing?

the whole family would be absolutly shocked while tim is just drinking his coffee without answering

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Tim and the Lex Luthor this, Tim and Lady Shiva that-

Give me Tim and Darkseid. You don't just deliver coal to the biggest supervillain without some banter and I need to see it

[eggfriedricedwasian]

tim drake is the type of guy to drop random lore then walk away.

tim: ugh i hate baseball, it’s like, when you have to play it in order to save a whole planet once, every game after seem boring

dick: that’s not…

tim: only downside to that was how we almost totaled barts brand new spaceship

dick: what spaceship??

—

tim: oh, hi mom

shiva: hello timothy, how are you? still keeping up with your training i take it?

bruce: mother? she’s not your —

shiva: let’s spar then timothy, let’s leave it strictly non lasting injuries, i don’t rather feel like dying by your hand again today

tim: of course!! ^-^

bruce: again?

—

tim: man i forgot to take my meds again

duke: your meds for what?

tim: i have no spleen, so i have to take probiotics, it really is manageable but i dont know where those pills went

duke: i’m almost scared to ask, tim, how did you lose your spleen?

tim: weird spider dude, it was a whole thing

—

tim: you talk a lot of shit for someone who got replaced as heir to your immortal grandfathers empire by me

damian: you what!?

tim: i regularly beat his ass at online chess every week too, and i don’t think you’ve seen him since he stole your corpse

—

tim: here

jason: what’s this?

tim: a box of all the photos i took when i obsessively stalked you for your entire tenure as robin

jason: thanks?

tim: you’re welcome, bye!

jason: … creepy ass kid…

—

steph: so how did you to get together?

bernard: well —

tim: i saved him from a getting cut open by chaos monster cult members

bernard: yep, i was rescued from being a vessel for a greek god, and we just really clicked afterwards

steph: well, it’s better than the brick

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Everything about this panel fucking slays me. Shiva gripping the wheel like she's an angry dad trying to get through rush hour traffic. Clyde staring angrily out the window. Tim curled up in a little ball in the middle like a child of divorce. The fucking "at least she has an excuse." It just radiates last leg of a road trip vibes. Top 3 panels of all time.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

tim drake’s training to be robin was objectively hilarious so here’s that

bruce: hey i’m sending you to paris to train with some old guy and his grandson

tim: cool

~paris~

grandson: pick a weapon to learn to fight with

tim: slingshot

grandson: seriously?

tim: yea

~later~

grandson: hey wanna go out on what is definitely not a date cause it’s 1993?

tim: sure

he immediately ditches this guy and runs off with a girl that is secretly apart of a gang, gets jumped by said gang, follows gang to a warehouse, and saves the life of an ex-fbi agent. lady shiva is also there and immediately clocks him as future fighting opponent material

~later~

ex-fbi agent: holy shit, that’s lady shiva

tim: neat

~later~

old training guy, fuckin dead

tim: guess i’ll just train with lady shiva /:

~later~

shiva: that slingshot is stupid, here’s a bo staff

tim: cool *slices it with a knife *

shiva: whatever floats your boat you funky little white boy

tim beats lady shiva in a fight

shiva, excitedly: one day you and i will fight to the death

~later~

shiva: hey this is the guy running that gang you were fighting earlier

tim: awesome

shiva: he killed the fbi guy from earlier

tim: aw ):

shiva: kill him

tim: what

~later~

batman, knows tim was hanging out with lady shiva: hey what’s up

tim, who just watched lady shiva “kill” a guy: oh nothing much, you?

[eggfriedricedwasian]

I feel sad -> I reread my favorite Tim storylines -> I instantly feel better about my life.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

[eggfriedricedwasian]

the titans tower thing is hilarious, actually

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Late night shenanigans

[eggfriedricedwasian]

that one twitter redraw meme

[eggfriedricedwasian]

I tried to draw nerdy jason as if he wasn't a nerd already

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Every time Tim says he isn’t part of the family—

“Really, I’m just an employee!”

Bruce photocopies Tim’s adoption certificate—

“Only a legal technicality, Damian, don’t worry.”

frames it, and hangs it on the wall of Tim’s room—

“The guest room I normally stay in, you mean.”

which is in the family wing.

“Only for convenience!”

Tim’s walls—

“The guest room’s walls!”

eventually fill up with the results of Tim’s low self-esteem.

So, Bruce begins sticking the frames to the ceiling.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Man, TimKon has to have craziest in-laws. Imagine what headache the After marriage dinners get.

Duke: hey um… can you pass the salt *eyeing Lex Luthor*

Lex: *takes the salt but moves it away from Duke*

Selina: God why are you even in here?!

Lex: Because I am Conner’s BIOLOGICAL father unlike you, you stealing broad—

Lois: *tiredly sighs* Oh my God, here we go again…

Bruce: Blood relation means nothing, Lex.

Dick: to quote Maya Angelou: "Family isn’t always blood, it’s the people in your life who want you in theirs”

*Lex proceeds to stand up and points at the person at the end of the table*

Kate: now, this is gonna be interesting

Clark: Lex can you sit down?

Lex: for all my Intellect and prowess what I don’t understand is…WHY ARE THEY HERE!! *points at the Al Ghuls*

Talia: quit embarrassing yourself, Luthor. Timothy is my beloved’s son and brother to two of my sons—

Selina: *looks at Talia tiredly* would you please move on?

Talia: No! *slams the table* you are only his Girlfriend. While I am the Mother of his sons.

Selina: No sane mother trains her children to be weapons of war *pulls out her nails*

Talia: you haven’t seen this mother. *pulls out a sword*

Damian: Mothers, can you all stop? It’s embarrassing.

Minkhoa: as far as I’m concerned, I’m the spouse.

Bruce: Please I beg of you don’t do this Minkhoa

Jim whispers to Barbara: is it always like this?

Barbara whispers back: only during holidays

Jim: remind me not to attend during it

Stephanie: I could get why Talia is here but why is he here *sideeyes Ra’s Al Ghul* Didn’t you steal Tim’s spleen?

Ra’s: I am Talia’s father which makes me the detective’s father-in-law, by extension Timothy’s Grandfather.

*Alfred audibly cocks his shotgun under the table*

Jason: Crazy mental gymnastics there, geezer.

Ra’s: It is a shame that the detective’s choice to spend eternity is with that abomination…

Lex: you take that back, he’s genetically perfect! He’s half of my crush I meant rival and half of me! Me! you ancient terroris—

*a chorus of outrage erupts*

Jon: WOAH WOAH!

Dick: HEY!!

Luke: neglecting the part where Lex just admitted to—

*cuts short by Lucius Fox*

Lucius whispers: I strongly advise, you don’t add fuel to whatever this is, Luke.

Minkhoa: I mean he’s not wrong…

Tim leans on Conner: Welp, that checks my ‘racism at the table’ bingo card

Jean Paul: You are all sinners! I condemn this unholy matrimony! No man can marry a man much less born out of unnatural means!

Conner: There goes the homophobia one *checks the bingo card*

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Steph: I’m not going to do it. But what is stopping me from just, yknow, joining Jason’s henchman ranks?

Dick: Steph please-

Steph: It’s not Money. Money isn’t the issue. Is it morality? How far into the color wheel am I? What shade am I?

Dick: Shade? I don’t understand, but please-

Steph: What shade is ‘morally gray’?

Jason: 939597 is the hex code.

Dick: Jay for the love of, Steph isn’t going to be your henchman.

Jason: why? Cause she’s a woman? You got a problem with henchwomen? Are you being misogynistic towards the art of hench?

Dick: Hey hey it has nothing to do with-

Steph: I think I’m like two codes away from that color.

[eggfriedricedwasian]

Guys do u know that one meme where there's a girl and like a bodyguard (???) ordering drinks and the waiter give them the wrong drinks so they switch them on the last panel,???????? BECAUSE I C1NT FING IT^