#jon: yes. my BOYFRIEND

[honeyplus]

considering there is an entire comic issue about Jon shrinking Metropolis and putting it in a jar to keep it "safe" exists I'd wager he's the jealous one in the relationship. Personally I think it'd be in a very passive aggressive way LMAO

[ghosty-schnibibit]

can my dreams please stop turning me into jon bc whenever they do martin is also there and i wake up sad that i'm not boyfriends with fictional character martin blackwood in real life

[am-i-losing-myself]

Ryan Ross is forgotten by the world apart from apart from a small group of queer people who worship him and also band mate, Jon walker

[i-like-books-and-women]

Zach has the others saved on snapchat as little inside jokes. Like Ruben is Loofa or Stroopwafel or smth like that. Jon is "Not The Sexy One" and Angel is like "Put On A Shirt"

Jon doesn't like saving people as dumb things because it confuses him like 90% of the time and he doesn't wanna have to think about who he's messaging.

Ruben has them saved as things that the others hate but are funny. Jon is "J-Dog" in reference to an interview with some "hip with the kids" interviewer. Angel is "No Bitches". Zach's is "H2O Mermaids" in reference to how he almost always refuses to swim which has evolved/devolved into a "Zach is a mermaid" joke.

Angel's predictably are unhinged. Jon is saved as Jesus, Ruben is "Zach's Cum Dumpster", and Zach is "Ruben's Bitch".

[couldeatthatgirlforlunch]

The Lost Condom

Synopsis: You were in the middle of a spicy time with your boyfriend, when something odd happened: the condom disappeared. Inside. Of. You.

The solution? Go to the hospital.

The problem? Your family didn't know about your relationship.

Pairing: Jon Kent X Gn!AFAB!Reader; Platonic!Batfam

Tw: 18+; Only mention and slight description of genitals and sex, but nothing too explicit; All characters are aged up of course; English isn't my 1st language.

Word count: 1,8k.

Requested? Nah.

Extra notes: This isn't an original idea of mine, it's based on a real life story someone told me. Also the family finding out scene was inspired by this fanfic from @dccomicsimagines and this scene from Megamind. Also, eventually I will work on the asks waiting for me I swear 😭

General masterlist

So… You were in the middle of… Having fun… With your boyfriend… When suddenly, he said something that really confused you.

— Hmm… Babe… Where’s the condom? — Your head snapped back to look at him, since you were on all fours.

— Where's the ��what’? — Your eyes were wide, unconsciously. Jon was blushing intensely, looking from your eyes to your entrance. He didn't know how to explain.

— I-I-I put it inside with the condom on, but now it's… Gone! — You narrowed your eyes. You watched him wrap and then enter you, you didn't feel him pull out at any moment, and even if he did, why would he tell you that he pulled out, took the condom off and then put it inside again secretly while you were still going at it?

You were both silent for a few seconds.

— Search for it! — You practically yelled at him, making him scramble to get off of you. You laid with your back down and legs open, looking at the ceiling, trying to calm down and not feel embarrassed. You felt him entering you with his fingers and searching around for minutes, grumbling and getting frustrated. The sensation was good… But you had bigger priorities at hand!

You huffed and changed positions a few times. A pillow underneath your butt, legs up, on all fours. Nothing worked. You even searched around the room and the bed, just to be sure. At some point, you both defeatedly decided it was best you go to the hospital.

The thing is, your relationship was still new, and no one in your family was aware. Lois and Clark already knew and approved, and you thought Cass suspected you were seeing someone, but you hadn't told them yet.

Especially Damian.

You and Jon knew each other years before Damian was even part of the family, since Bruce raised you since your birth — you were the product of one of his affairs, your biological mother didn't want to raise you, but she also didn't want to abort, so she and Bruce agreed that he would have you as soon as you were born — and he's best friend was Clark. Although, you didn't see each other much back then. It was after the Supersons became a team and besties that he started frequenting the manor more. You always had a childhood crush on each other — Jon thought you were beautiful and nice, and you thought he was cute and sweet, very different from the gross and rude boys from your school. —. Until you were each other's first kiss, then years later, first relationship, and first time. Of course, all in secret from Damian. The older family members only knew about your crush because of your physical language, but since you grew older and learned to hide, they assumed it was just a childish crush from the past.

Lois and Clark knew and approved, but they also always reminded you that you needed to tell Bruce soon, or at least Alfred, especially after you started being sexually active.

Unfortunately, the day came. Yes, you and Jon were old enough to have sex, but too young to be mature and brave enough to go to the hospital by yourselves. Lois was in another country for work, Clark was in the Watchtower in a League meeting, your dad was there too. Leaving the 2nd best option: Alfred — the best would be Lois, then Alfred, Clark, Cass, and then you would have to discuss which one of your other family members would it be.

Since you were in Metropolis — again, no one knew. More privacy wink wink —, Jon flew you back to Gotham, and you both almost cheered when you realized you were completely home alone, except for Alfred, of course.

Poor Alfred knew something was up when you suddenly were back from your “shopping trip”, with messy hair and clothes, red face and Superboy looking almost sick. He released a long sigh.

— Mx/Miss/Master (Y/N). Young Mr. Kent… — You cleared your throat.

— Alfred… We need help…

After you explained everything, Alfred looked ten years older. He didn't comment on anything, but his face showed how unimpressed he was. He just gestured for you to follow him to the garage, took the keys and started driving.

— Let me warn Master Bruce while we are-

— NO! — You yelled, started. He looked at you through the rearview mirror disapprovingly.

— Should I remind you that he will see the hospital bill and go after the truth? — You bit your lip.

— No, I know that. Just… Can't we pay on cash? — You smiled at him hopefully and nervously, but it was more like a grimace. Alfred was silent. You groaned. — I will tell him okay! Tonight! — Jon’s eyes snapped to yours, wide. — Relax! You're not gonna die!

— Yeah, until Damian whips out a kryptonite sword… — He groaned, hiding his burning face in your neck. You huffed, now wasn't time for him to be adorable.

— He doesn't have a kryptonite sword. Dad didn't let him do it. He would have to build it first. That would give him enough time to calm down. — Jon looked at you, indignant. Alfred cleared his throat.

— While we're there, I can't make any promises that if your father asks, I will hide the truth. He will know. — You and your boyfriend groaned, rubbing your faces with your hands.

— Yes, Alfred, I know…

Two hours later, you were finally laid down in position for the doctor to begin the procedure. Since if wasn't anything serious, you were on the emergency and there was only a curtain separating you from the rest of the patients outside. Alfred was sitting just outside, waiting, while Jon was standing by your side, holding your hand, as if you were about to give birth. The doctor was amused by your story, and her jokes helped you calm down.

She searched around you for a few minutes, the instrument she was using inside you being a little uncomfortable. Jon was silently horrified when he saw, you were startled too, but maintained the composure.

— AHA! Found it! It was really deep inside, almost on your cervix! — When she pulled out the condom, you both let out a breath of relief you didn't know you were holding.

You quickly put your clothes on again, you and Jon chatting as everything seemed lighter, and then left.

What you didn't know was that when Bruce got home and you and Alfred weren't there, it made him call, finding out just that you were in the hospital. Alfred refused to say much more than reassure him that it wasn't urgent and that he would soon know, thus he didn't have to crazily drive all the way there. That didn't stop him from alerting all your siblings.

When you got home, your whole family was there.

— Jon?! What're you doing here? — Alfred kept a straight face. Wow, he really wasn't going to help.

— Hmmm... — Jon subtly and subconsciously hid behind you. You shifted from one foot to another. Damian got up with a threatening scowl. You just came from the hospital. With a kryptonian.

— Kent! If you hurt my sibling I will-

— I didn't! — Jon almost yelled, then covered his face with his hands.

— Then, what is happenning here? — Bruce got up with a raised brow, analyzing the situation.

You thought for a moment. You either told them now and made things easier, or you spent all the way to dinner with them bothering you to tell. You could take it, Jon couldn't.

You took a deep breath.

— JonandIwerehavingsexwhenthecondomdisappearedinsideofmewecouldn'tfinditanywheresoweaskedAlfredforhelpandwenttothehospital.

They blinked.

— … What?

You huffed.

— Jon and I were having sex, when the condom disappeared inside of me. We couldn't find it anywhere, so we asked Alfred for help and went to the hospital. — You said, slower this time, although uma lower, more abashed tone.

Silence.

— … But… It was stuck inside? Weren't you wet, though…? — Tim's analysis broke the silence.

— SEX?! — Dick and Jason exclaimed.

— YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH MY SIBLING?!

— Knew it. — Cass smiled and nodded, proud of herself.

Bruce heaved a sigh and sat down again.

— I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS! — Damian threw Tim's coffee mug in your direction and Jon zoomed in front of you. The mug broke. Jon had a sheepish expression.

— Tim, go grab kryptonite. — Jason ordered and got up, walking toward the hidden compartment in the shelf where he kept his guns. Dick held him back while Damian threw a flower vase at Jon.

— No! Don't do that, Tim. — Dick ordered back. Tim shook his head.

— I wasn't going to anyway… — He mumbled. Damian threw the center table.

— YOU ACTED BEHIND MY BACK! YOU TRAITOR! YOU- OUCH! PENNYWORTH STOP! — Alfred tutted, pinching his ear.

— I'm sure civilized conversations don't involve breaking the forniture. — Alfred shot a pointed look at Bruce. — Master Bruce! Say something! — Your dad just kept gazing at you and your boyfriend.

Cass sighed, stepping toward Bruce and sitting beside him.

— (Y/N)’s happy. He’s good. They're careful. — Bruce nodded, finally showing some reaction and looking pleased. Jason stopped struggling against Dick and looked at you.

— I don't care. I'm going to kill him. — Damian growled, starting to pace around the room in anger. Jon silently sighed in relief that Damian kept his distance by being on the other side of the room, the couch and the whole family serving as a barrier. You stepped forward.

— It's not casual. We've been together for almost two months now. — Everyone but Alfred and Cass gasped. Damian burned holes in Jon’s head with his eyes and your dad looked at you, masking his mix of emotions.

Cass tsk.

— So clueless. Many signs. — She shook her head.

— (Y/N), why didn't you tell us before? — Dick asked carefully, walking in your direction and stopping in front of you. Jon fiddled behind you. You shrugged.

— Didn't want to deal with you all while we were just starting things. Especially if it didn't work out.

— When were you planning to tell us? — You pouted.

— I don't know… In a month or two? You guys probably would find out by yourselves. — You shrugged.

— You've been sneaking out a lot… — Tim spoke up for the second time, catching everyone’s attention. He was fiddling with his laptop, likely doing his own investigation. The ones closest to Tim looked from the monitor to you again.

— When did you go to Metropolis?! — Jason exclaimed, indignantly.

— Hehe…

Damian growled.

— So that's why you've been ditching me?! — Damian pointed a finger at Jon, who scratched the back of his head.

— Surprise...? — Jon weakly sang the word.

Bruce cleared his throat.

— So that's why Clark’s been acting like he was happy he knew something I didn't… — He got up and pointed at you. — No more sneaking out. Ask permission before going anywhere. — You opened your mouth to protest, but he stopped you. — Either that or you're grounded. — You pursed your lips and nodded in defeat. — Now we will talk about birth control…

Comment, like and reblog 🥰

DC Taglist:

@wandalfnation @vadersassistant @h0rr0r-10ver-69 @hxsun4 @silverklaus @toast-on-dandelioms @bluewillbon

[paradiseprincesss]

please, please, please | jonathan crane

please please please by sabrina carpenter has been playing in my head nonstop...and the music video? that has jonathan crane and his gf written ALL over it. also i promise I AM WORKING ON REQUESTS i swear.

summary: you warn jonathan not to embarrass you at your dinner party — you know how he is sometimes. thankfully, disasters were avoided during dinner and as a reward, you let him try something new in the bedroom with you that he's been wanting to do.

warnings: smut, p in v, fingering, sex toys (butt plug), anal but only using the toy lol, jonathan kills someone, talk of dead bodies lmfao? mdni 18+ only

word count: 3.9k

masterlist

"what did you do?!" you whisper yell at jonathan, who was currently staring at you with hearts in his eyes and a sheepish smile.

"i didn't know he was going to react this way, swear it," he says quietly, "i just wanted to see what a concentrated dose would do."

you look at the man slumped over on your apartment couch, seemingly dead. you turn your head to jonathan silently, looking at him incredulously as he kept that sheepish smile plastered on his face.

your boyfriend, doctor jonathan crane, had "accidentally" — that's what he claims — murdered your electrician with a too high dose of his fear toxin. he swore that he had thought some man had broken into your house and he was only trying to protect you; which yes, you found sweet, but there was also the issue of the now dead electrician in your living room.

"i swear baby," he says with his hands up defensively, "i thought he broke in."

"i told you that the electrician was coming by today!"

jonathan laughs awkwardly for a moment, but he pulled you close and gave you a little kiss on the forehead. "i'm sorry darling. don't be mad, please."

you let him pull you close, relaxing into his touch, "jonathan, what are we supposed to do with his body? we have dinner guests coming over in less than two hours."

"i got it," he assures you, "don't worry. i'm sure if i just hide his body in the meantime, nobody will notice."

you groan, wriggling out of his grasp as you leave him to it. you get ready, doing your makeup and hair, before picking out on outfit for your dinner party.

you and jonathan recently moved in together, and though you had been dating for quite some time, he hadn't really met your friends all that much. sure, he'd seen them a handful of times, but you wanted your friends to get to know him better — i mean hey, they had asked to.

honestly, you thought you had good judgement and you thought you had good taste. i mean, you managed to snag a handsome, intelligent, financially stable doctor; what else could a girl ask for? and look — yes, you may of had a small, tiny, little track record of dating mentally unstable, dangerous, and wild men but you swore jonathan was different.

he wasn't unstable, dangerous and wild. no, no, no — he was calculated, precise and a murderer! three totally different traits than what you usually go for.

"look at you, baby," jonathan cooed as he watched you walk into the kitchen, "you're the prettiest, my god."

you blush, shaking your head bashfully as you pull him into a kiss, admiring his every feature. "i love you, jon."

"i love you, too."

"but listen to me," you say softly, trying your hardest to sound menacing, "you're a doctor — so act like one. please don't kill one of our guests or anything."

"only for you, darling." he says with a smile, hands resting on your hips.

the doorbell to your apartment rang, and you made your way to the door with jonathan, hand in hand. "oh, and one more thing," you say quickly reaching to unlock your front door, "i beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker."

jonathan holds back a laugh at your not-so-threatening threat as you let your friends in, and the night goes by without a hitch. you don't know where jonathan has hid the dead body in your apartment, but you don't care as long as your guests don't fucking find it.

"it was great getting to see you two again. you guys are so wonderful together. congratulations on the new place, by the way!" your friend tells you as you all wrap up dinner, a few of the other dinner guests still finishing off their wine.

"thank you!" you gush, smiling happily, "we really love it here, right jonathan?"

"yes, darling. it's quite lovely, isn't it?" he replies softly, caressing your hand with his.

"your patio is gorgeous, by the way — great view of the city. we should have a drink out there, it's still early!" another one of your guests suggests, and jonathan shoots you a look.

oh, so that's where he hid the body — on the fucking balcony where anyone could see.

"o-oh!" you stammer, "um, you know, the summer weather is great. wonderful, really — but like, isn't the inside of our brand new apartment just so lovely, too? like look at our new ceiling fan — wow."

your friend looks at you with a confused expression, and she laughs a little awkwardly. "yeah totally, the interior design is so...great."

"yeah, so i have a fun idea," you say rather enthusiastically, to which jonathan has to look away to stop himself from laughing, "maybe let's stay inside? i know your craving some fresh air, but the ceiling fan is so nice."

"darling," jonathan interrupts softly, smiling at you then looking at your friends, "why don't we just schedule a time another day to have drinks all together? i'd love to keep the night going, but i'm afraid i have to work particularly early tomorrow at the asylum."

everyone "ahh'd" in union as they respected what he did for work — he was one of gothams finest, most renown psychiatrists, after all. surprisingly, tonight it was jonathan saving you from slipping up instead of you coming to save him.

as your dinner guests left one by one, you shut the door and locked it as you turn to jonathan with a sweet smile. "thank you for that, i wasn't particularly planning on my friends seeing a dead body out on the balcony tonight."

"relax, baby," jonathan cooed, "i told you i'd handle it, right?"

you look up into your boyfriends beautiful, pale, blue eyes — for someone so notoriously dangerous, he sure was gentle and sweet with you. of course, jonathan did have a soft spot for you and you only.

he would openly admit it, too.

"right, sorry," you whisper as he leans down from his towering height to kiss you, "i trust you."

he hums in satisfaction, then captured your lips in a kiss. his gentle hands roamed across your body, and suddenly, jonathan was pulling you flush against him. through broken kisses and breathless panting, his hand found it's way to your neck. when he gave it a light, experimental squeeze, you moaned into the kiss — he knew this was exactly how to get you going.

"go to the bedroom," he commands softly, "and be ready when i get there, darling."

you look at him inquisitively for a second, but as soon as he raises a brow; you don't ask any questions. he goes into the living room to rummage around for something, and you make your way into your shared bedroom.

you slip out of your evening attire, keeping the lacy, black, intimate lingerie you had underneath on as you patiently wait on the bed for your boyfriend. after a few moments, he returns with something in his hands — a small, dainty, pink gift box with a white ribbon adorned around it.

"i was good for you tonight, right darling?" jonathan asked softly, handing the pink gift box over to you as you start to unravel the bow on top.

"of course you were." you sigh, smiling dopily at him.

he hummed as you opened the box and your eyes went wide, "well, now i want you to be good for me, baby."

inside the dainty, pink, gift box was a butt plug, and on the end of it was a shimmering, baby pink, sparkly gem. "jonathan," you blush profusely, "y-you wanna do...?"

"i just want you to try it out while i fuck you, darling. see how it feels — it's an experiment i've been wanting to try out with you for a while." he says lowly, watching you like a hawk as you took it out of the box.

"i've never done anything...there." you say shyly, and he kisses you gently; of course he'd see sex as a way to experiment.

this was a man of science we're talking about, after all.

"that's alright," he assures you with a quiet chuckle, "i'll guide you through it, okay? you trust me, don't you?"

"yeah," you giggle, "okay — fine, but just this once."

jonathan eyed you down in your black, lacy lingerie as you shuffled around on the bed, bending over as you reached for the lube in the bedside drawer. he had to stop himself from groaning aloud when he saw your already wet cunt soaking through your undergarments — all bent over and needy for his fat cock.

you tossed the bottle of lube over to the side of the bed, crawling over to jonathan as his eyes turned three shades darker at the sight. after you crawled into his lap, he slowly unhooked your very lacy, very see through bralette, slipping it right off your shoulders.

his hands immediately came to paw at your tits as you rested your head on his collarbone, leaning back at the feeling of his strong hands tweaking your perked up nipples.

"jonathan," you breathlessly moan, "please."

"be good for me, baby — be patient." he whispered against your ear, nipping it lightly.

his feather light touch traced down, further and further until he got to your underwear. his fingers hooked into the lace trim, gently and ever so slowly helping you out of the undergarment. you felt your breath hitch lightly as the cold air hit your bare, soaked core, and you leaned further back into jonathan.

jonathan — who by the way, was still fully clothed — swiped two fingers through your dripping folds gently, causing you to jump at the sudden pleasurable feeling. "you're soaked," he noticed, placing a kiss down your neck, "i've barely touched you."

"i-i know," you whimper, "but—"

"i bet you liked it when i said i wanted to experiment on you, hm? did that turn you on, darling? knowing that i'm studying your every reaction to my touch?"

you bit your lip as he spoke, cutting you off as you whimpered under his touch. yes — he was on the dot with his assumptions and observations. sure, you'd never used a butt plug before but hey, if it was with jonathan, you were pretty much down for anything.

"yes," you admitted breathlessly, "fuck, jon."

it was strange — the thought of him studying you during sex in such a...clinical way. it was a major turn on for you, in fact, you didn't know if you'd ever been so turned on before. jonathan proceeded to slowly insert a finger into your drooling hole, causing you to let out a choked moan.

"yeah, you're fucking dripping." he observed, peppering kisses down your neck and shoulders as you relaxed your head onto his. after he fucked you with one finger for no more than a minute, he was suddenly inserting another — it was no issue though, you were so wet that his second finger slipped in without resistance.

you arched your back instinctively, letting out choked, breathless moans as you whimpered his name sweetly. it was like music to jonathan's ears — hearing you fall apart as he carefully, slowly, and precisely turned you into nothing in just mere minutes.

"s-so close!" you squeaked out, and jonathan was suddenly drawing his fingers out of you, causing your jaw to drop and you to turn around to look at him with disbelief.

"i know," he cooed, "now, turn back around and get on all fours. face down, ass up."

you looked at him with surprise, but jonathan was always in control in the bedroom — this wasn't new by any means, but it sure was hot. listening and hanging onto his every word, you do as he asks, getting on all fours as you hear him shuffle around behind you.

with your ass up and your pretty face down, you bite your lip as you hear the pop of the lube bottle cap being opened. you gasp quietly as you feel a foreign, cold, silicone texture poke at your ass — it was almost embarrassing how wet this was making you.

"look at how wet you're getting, and i haven't even put the toy in your ass yet." jonathan chuckled lowly, feeling his cock straining so hard against his pants that he thought the zipper might pop open.

"s-shut up." you try to retaliate, but it comes out more like a broken, desperate plea.

"m'gonna push it in now, okay? not all the way, i promise i'll be gentle — and slow." jonathan says softly, his voice easing your nerves.

though you wished you could see his face, the thought was soon wiped from your mind as you felt the silicone toy being pushed into you, stretching your ass out. thankfully, it wasn't painful. it felt uncomfortable at first, but the more he pushed, the more you got used to the stretch.

"how's it feeling, baby?" jonathan asked lowly, watching your glistening cunt clench around nothing.

"s'okay," you respond, "is it almost all the way in?"

"almost, just a little more to go. you look so good like this, darling. letting me do whatever i want to you, and you just take it like a good girl."

his words made your cheeks burn, and you whine as you felt him give the toy one more gentle push into your ass. it felt good, surprisingly, but it also felt full. you felt full.

"is it hurting?" jonathan asked with concern, and you shook your head no, finally looking behind you as you saw his face.

his cheeks were dusted with a pink colour, and his lips looked plush. he was extremely turned on — that much was obvious with just the way he looked. your eyes trailed down to the tent in his pants; he was so hard it looked like his trousers were about to rip.

"feels really full, though," you giggle softly, "i'm guessing you like the view?"

"god, baby," he groans, "i wish you could see what i'm seeing right now — your ass up with a pretty, pink gemstone in it. all stretched out and waiting for me to fuck your pretty little cunt, hm?"

"mm, y-yeah." you moan as he reaches for your hips, gently turning you onto your back as he pushes you into the soft pillows.

the butt plug still felt a little odd to you as you switched positions, now laying on your back, but it felt good at the same time. as your mind was focused on the feeling of that, you look back up at jonathan to see him desperately trying to undress himself. as controlled and precise as the doctor was — he was a needy mess when it came to you.

"hurry up, doctor crane," you tease, biting your lip as he huffs, clearly affected by your little comment, "i'm so fucking wet—"

"i'm gonna fuck you till you can't think anymore," he interrupted, his voice strained, "you're going to be so full with my cum."

his suit jacket was long gone, and now so was his white button down and tie. his trousers had seemingly disappeared somewhere as well, and his leaking, hard, veiny cock sprung free, hitting his stomach lightly as he took it out.

within seconds, your legs were spread for him. pupils blown wide.m jonathan was positioned between your legs, the tip of his cock rubbing up against your dripping cunt, and you whined when he teased your folds. "how does it feel?" jonathan asks softly, just barely putting the head in, "you feel nice and full, darling? all stretched out?"

"s-so full," you pant, "but i need your cock — so badly."

he smirks to himself; his ego clearly being stroked with the way he had you, his beautiful girlfriend, in bed begging for him and letting him do whatever he pleases to any of your holes.

with a sudden thrust, he slid into you with ease from how slick your cunt was, and you gasped at the feeling of his cock filling you up. jonathan set a moderate pace; not too fast but not too slow, either.

"does it feel good, baby? having both your holes all stuffed?" he asks, fucking into you gently as you struggled to speak.

"y-yes!" you said to him, voice shaky, "feels so good, f-fuck—"

jonathan continued to thrust his thick cock into your tight, wet hole and within seconds, you were cockdrunk. your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you moaned his name over and over, incoherently begging for something. you weren't sure what exactly you were begging for, but as long as you were begging — jonathan was satisfied.

this is how he liked you — fucked out and willing to do anything for him. to be fair, he would do absolutely anything (and i mean anything, including murder), for you too. you were his girl, his everything, what he needed in his life — so naturally, nothing was off the table when it came to what he'd do for you.

but nothing beat the feeling of you submitting to him like this.

"god, you're already close, aren't you, my love?" jonathan asked softly, picking up his pace as his cock brushed up against your walls.

he was right — you were close. the way his thick, veiny cock stretched you open while you were stuffed with a toy in your other hole had you feeling ready to tip over the edge in just seconds. "insatiable," jonathan commented as he plowed into you faster and harder, "that's what you are, darling. look at my needy girl; she needs all over holes filled and stretched, all the fucking time."

his filthy, degrading (but also very hot) comments tipped you over the edge, and before you knew it — you were coming undone all over his cock as he groaned. a plethora of whines and pleas left your lips, but you were so gone from the way he was fucking you stupid, you didn't even realize what was said in that moment.

before you could register what was happening, jonathan pulled out of you quickly. he flipped you onto your stomach, being quite gentle with you, as he grabbed onto your hips, indicating he wanted you to be on all fours again. understanding what he was asking, you did what you knew to do — be face down, ass up.

"jesus," jonathan groans from behind you, giving your ass a light spank, "fuck, look at that."

you whine at the gentle spank he gave you, and his fingers brushed up against your other hole, where the butt plug was sitting. "j-jon," you whined, "please."

you heard him chuckle lowly, his cock brushing up against your folds once more as he slowly split you open on his cock. he was enjoying this far too much — the sight of you with that pink gemstone in your ass and the way your cunt took his cock deeper and deeper with every thrust? it was driving him insane.

"fucking beautiful," he groaned, "h-how'd you manage to get even tighter, baby?"

"f-feels so good, oh m-my god!" you started to scream into the pillows as one of jonathan's hands snaked down and started to rub at your clit.

as you were about to cum from the way he was rubbing your sensitive clit, he removed his hand which caused you to whine. he chuckled softly from behind you, fucking you into the mattress so deep and rough, you were for sure going to be sore for the next week to come.

suddenly, you gasped as your cunt started to flutter around jonathan's length. his hand that was previously on your clit, was now toying with the butt plug, teasingly pushing it in and out gently. he didn't pull it out all the way, but just ever so slightly — just enough so that every time he pushed it back in, you'd feel so full again.

"are you about to cum, baby?" jonathan asked sweetly, "are you about to cum on my cock?"

"f-fuck, yes! yes!" you screamed as jonathan fucked you even faster.

"s-shit, me too," he groaned, "come now, baby — fuuuck!"

as your vision went white and you creamed his cock, jonathan gave you a few more harsh thrusts before he spilled his cum into you. hot ropes of cum covered your walls, filling your hole up completely.

as both of you were coming down from your intense highs, jonathan pulled out after a moment. his cum started to leak from your cunt, and he took two fingers to push it back in — causing you to whine at the sensation.

his demeanour changed the second you two weren't fucking anymore — he was soft, doting, and loving towards you as soon as he cleaned you up. he helped you into his arms, pulling you close as the two of you curled up under the sheets in the crisp, cool, air-conditioned bedroom.

"that was something," jonathan says, being the first one to break the silence, "did you like it? i didn't hurt you, right?"

"no, you didn't hurt me at all, baby," you laughed softly, kissing him on the cheek, "and yeah, it was really ejoyable."

"i see. well, i'm glad you enjoyed it, darling." he smiles at you lovingly, pulling you into a gentle, passionate kiss.

as you wrapped your arms around his neck, you looked up at your devoted boyfriend with the most loving, adorable, and kind look that jonathan had ever seen. "i love you, jonathan. that was fun."

"i love you too, darling," he says, but he pauses before getting up with a sigh, "i'm sorry to cut this moment short, my dear, but i do believe that i have a certain...body to dispose of in a timely manner."

"you and your pillow talk, jonathan. it never seizes to amaze me — last week it was about that patient you terrorized at work and this week, it's the dead electrician on our balcony." you said with a small smile, biting your lip as you teased your deranged, doctor boyfriend.

"well, all i can say is that i'm lucky to have you in my life, my dear." he said softly, looking at you with those gorgeous, pale, icy blue eyes of his. "i truly do love you."

as he turned around to look at you once more time before leaving the bedroom to go deal with the body on the balcony, you smile at him sweetly. he had his bodies on the balcony and you had your skeletons in your closet — you just understood him.

everyone has their ghosts, right? and plus, as long as nobody else knew about the whole scarecrow and murderer thing, then it would be fine. it would aways be fine.

"i truly love you too, jonathan," you said after a moment, and you could've sworn that you saw the scarecrow himself start to blush, "but if you wanna go and be stupid, don't do it in front of me."

he shakes his head on his way out — presumably to dispose of the body in ways you didn't really want to know of. jonathan's voice called out back to you as he made his way to the balcony doors.

"noted, my love!"

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @psylrd @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii @stsrfujid

[incorrectbatfam]

The batkids (and their partners/crushes/friends) with pride month hcs?

Tim: Lady. Gentleman. Bart. You are about to meet my boyfriend. Now remember, he doesn't know I'm Robin, so you need to act like human people. Can you do that?

Kon, Cassie, and Bart: Yes sir!

Bernard, entering: Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm so glad we're going to Pride together.

Cassie: *lasso immediately falls out of her bag*

Kon: *lasers the ground at Bernard's feet*

Bart: Hi, I'm Impulse.

Tim: *facepalm*

Bart: What? We didn't give away YOUR identity.

———————

Steph, running a food truck: Pride snacks! Get your Pride snacks hot 'n ready! Get two-for-one on the bi-rria tacos!

Margie: I bet you don't have anything for straight pride. You know, the rest of us normal people.

Steph: Yo Cass, one cishet sizzler!

Cass: *throws coffee in Margie's face*

Steph: That'll be $19.99.

Steph: *turns the screen around for tips*

———————

Selina: *wears a shirt saying Free Mom Hugs*

Bruce: *wears a shirt saying Inclusive Dad Jokes*

Alfred: *wears a shirt saying Weird Grandpa Stories*

Kate: *wears a shirt saying I'm Just Gonna Tell You To Dump Them*

———————

Harper: Since this is your first Pride, we're gonna show you the ropes.

Duke: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Harper: Over there we have the Batgirls food truck. Over there is Cullen's evil mafia boyfriend selling Uno cards. And over there is the Justice League in Justice League themed drag.

Cullen: And over there is the porta potty.

Duke: Only one?

Cullen: We ran over budget. But it's gender-neutral.

———————

Renee: Kate's busy telling people to dump their partners. Mind if I hang out here?

Harley: Not a problem! Want a bi-rria taco?

Renee: Nah, but I'll take the les-beans if you don't want them.

Ivy: We were just about to start a game of Gay Uno.

Renee: Gay Uno?

Harley: It's like regular Uno except when you put down a +4 you have to kiss.

Renee: Deal me in.

———————

Jason: You take the Main Street entrance. I'll cover Atlantic up to Washington. Rendezvous here in an hour.

Roy: And then we make out?

Jason, sighing: Sure.

Roy: Sloppy style?

Jason: This is a PG-13 post, Roy.

———————

Dick: Of course I make people question their sexuality with a face like this.

Wally: Sure, your face...

Wally: *glances down*

Donna: You guys are exhausting. I'm joining Roy on patrol.

———————

Barbara: Welcome to the annual conference of Sapphics Who Used To Date Dick Grayson. Helena, what's the first item on our agenda?

Helena: Discussing forming a polycule over dinner.

Bette: I already made a reservation.

Kory: I call braiding everyone's hair.

———————

Luke: Thanks for giving me a hand with the fireworks.

Carrie: Of course. By the way, I have something to tell you. You're the first person I've told.

Luke: I accept you.

Carrie: Thanks, but I was actually gonna say that I scratched your car in the parking lot.

Luke: WHAT?!

Carrie: Also I go by she/they.

———————

Lois: How on Earth did you burn your cape at a Pride festival?

Jon: Well...

[earlier]

Damian and Jon: *watching the fireworks*

Damian: I like that flower one.

Jon: *shoots into the sky to grab it*

Damian: *facepalm*

Tim, sitting nearby: You and me both.

[fancyfeathers]

Imagine Daughter!Reader pulls a "I'm gonna fake a crush on my brother's best friend so I can make them ALL uncomfortable" but it backfires and the best friend actually likes her back😭? (obviously daughter!reader's age will depend on the batboys bestfriend so no weird stuff going on in this ask dw) Like for Dick, Wally West. Maybe she asks the question "What else can go fast?" or something odd. Then for Jason, Roy Harper she asks him to teach her archery. Jason probably trusting her(maybe) he let's it go on but then catches Roy looking at her differently. Then for the others the same thing, like Tim- Conner. Something like REALLLLLLLLY kid-ish for Jon Kent if you feel like adding Damian's best friend. (These are all separate so no harem thing going on thank god.) Thank you for reading!!!!!<3

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

YES OH MY GOD I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS!

So realistically because she is the youngest, her crush would be on either Jon because he would only be a year older than her, or Connor who may be a bit older (physically, cause he was a lab child) but still within that reasonable age. Then in actual canon she has a boyfriend, who may be a lot little crazy, but they’re in love… right?

But anyway for this let’s say her age differs on each scenario in this okay

Okay Dick is just sitting there the like what the hell the moment he walks back in living room to see his little sister laughing and chatting with Wally, sitting way too close for comfort. Dick tries to show some self restraint, give the benefit of the doubt, but let’s be honest when Wally West falls in love it is head over heels and it is something that happens in an instant, basically love at first sight, she wouldn’t have to say anything to him, she just has to walk into a room. Then cue Dick ending up as a third wheel for the rest of the day, it probably gets to the point where Dick comes up with some excuse of why Wally needs to leave early and then as Wally is leaving he might ask about Dick’s sister and Dick gives him the biggest side eye ever and he just drops the topic. Then Dick goes back inside and his sister’s hair is all messed up, like a strong wind brew by and she is just holding her phone when she wasn’t a second ago…

“What…happened?”

“I think Wally put his number in my phone…”

“Son of a-“

With Jason and Roy, they are going on a mission together and training beforehand. Sister!Darling just handing around because Bruce and the rest of their siblings are gone and Alfred is out running errands that day, so until they get back Jason has to watch her which Roy thinks is weird because she is a few years younger than them for the sake of this post, but okay. So she is just sitting in the cave, reading a book Jason gave her because she not allowed down there so she’s not allowed to touch anything. Jason walks off to go find a different type of bullet and asks Roy to keep an eye on her because she is not allowed anywhere near the weapons or gear, and Roy just looks at her and waves her over…

“Cmon’ wanna try taking a shot?”

“Um… I don’t know-“

“I can teach you.”

So he does, and I really don’t know how to describe it besides this scene from Princess Diaries and just imagine when Jason comes back and found his best friend holding his little sister from the back, his cheek practically pressed against hers. He just loudly clears her throat and tells her that he needs to talk to her and he takes her out of the cave and sends her to her room, locking her in and sends a note to Bruce or whoever going to be home first what happened and where she is. Then he does back downstairs and Roy has the guts to ask if she is single and Jason just can’t…

“Fuck off Roy, she’s off limits.”

Now Tim has a harder time shaking off his friend, and I mean going by Connor in the comics (cause we don’t talk about Connor in Young Justice here) he is a bit of a headstrong personality and cocky, so if Connor and his sister are chatting and teasing each other he doesn’t really think much of it literally until he finds them kissing, a hand on her thigh and on the back of her neck and Connor is slightly levitating. Tim waits until Connor leaves and then he questions his sister about it, and she fesses up to basically trying to get on Tim’s nerves by flirting with his best friend but Connor ended up actually liking her, like a lot and one thing led to another and they were making out and have been texting for weeks and Tim didn’t think of it twice because it was Connor.

So then Tim asks Bruce to try to intervene by asking Clark for help but Connor has already gushed about his situationship with her to literally everyone in the Kent Family, and Clark has already gave Connor advice to ask her out and ideas for dates and it even got to the point where Ma and Pa are asking about when they can meet her because she sounds like a sweet girl. She just dug herself in a hole with this one, platonic Yandere!Superfam anyone?

Then Damian, well this is just kiddy love with his sister and Jon, and Damian knows that but it doesn’t mean he is okay with it. Whenever Jon is is over they are always talking, and Jon is just trying to impress her with his (half) kryptonian powers. Meanwhile Damian is giving Jon the side eye and really it’s nothing but that doesn’t stop him from running to go tell Bruce about it, what if it evolves into something more when they get older. So Bruce goes to talk to Clark about it and Clark doesn’t think it’s a big deal, they’re just kids and this is how kids are and so Damian just has to watch while Jon pushes her on the swings and deal with the fact that she just wants to spend time with Jon Kent and not him. Ugh.

[captainreecejames]

Hey Girlie || My Ex is a Footballer LN4 Edition

links [masterlist] [my ex series masterlist] [part 2]

summary YN LN is dating Phil foden until he cheats on her. She finds out from a F1 driver

pairing ex!Phil Foden x reader, Lando Norris x FEM!reader

faceclaim giorgia wingham

warnings cursing, man city hate, phil foden hate

notes this is supposed to take place after the monaco gp so please just ignore the dates lol ����🏼🙏🏼. also congrats to lando for winning the miami gp i guess, trump ruined it for me.

yn's twitter dms --------

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liked by bsfinstagram, landonorris and others

ynusername it's a prop!!! that's why I colored over it!!!!

load more comments

jonnybernthal fuck that bitch! Miss you girl! ↳ ynusername miss you too jon

bsfinstagram ma'am you slayed, literally ↳ ynusername shhhhh 🤫

username41 yes girl!!!

username42 she said life lately, might be committing some crimes ↳ ynusername no crimes committed, physically

username43 man shitty lolololol

username44 should be a fan of man utd ↳ ynusername lol no thanks

yourmominsta you look beautiful baby ↳ ynusername thanks momma! 🩷

username46 why did lando like? ↳ username47 like what are you doing here boy??

username48 she always used to comment blue hearts but they're gone now :( ↳ username49 yeah well i would stop using my cheating ex boyfriends colors too ↳ username48 why do men have to ruin everything?

landonorris posted --------

username51 go lando!!!

username52 you got this landito

username53 time to put the nowins nickname to bed!!

oscarpiastri you got this buddy

georgerussell63 home race time!

ynusername wahoooo!

username54 not yn here in the comments ↳ username55 the most random pairing ive ever seen ↳ username56 he liked her last pic, need to know when they met!

yn's messages ---------

😏😏😏😏 yeah that's how she ends

[816wdc]

😍 lando x fem!reader with the prompt

"Can you preheat the apartment? I'm on my way home. "

- "what are you, banana bread?"

Maybe she's cold like allllll the time, even in the summer (it's me, I'm her)

chilly ✹ ln4 x reader

hello anon ^_^ thank you for the request! i kinda flipped the dialogue because i thought it flowed better, but lmk what u think :) this is officially my first f1-related writing ive put out into the world, so comments are greatly appreciated!

word count: 475

notes: mostly casual dialogue, not proofread. about a phone call between reader and lando! no use of y/n. i also dont think its explicitly stated reader is fem, so take it how you will!

It was freezing.

Not really, of course. It was June, in London, in one of the worst heat waves ever recorded. But you’d spent all day in the office, which had its aircon on blast to accommodate for the heat. You can’t really blame whoever was in charge of that, really. It was over 30 degrees out and any sane person would be boiling.

And yet, here you were, trembling even as you signed off for the day and pulled out your cell phone. It was a ritual, at this point, to call Lando once you were off work. Going through the motions of pulling up his contact and hitting ‘call’ didn’t even require your attention anymore.

Lando’s voice crackled to life almost immediately when the call connected. “Hello, darling. I was wondering when you’d call.”

A soft smile bloomed on your face just at the sound of his voice as you stood from your desk and gathered your things. “Hi, Lando,” you reply. His infectious joyful energy seeped into you even through the phone, and a little laugh could be heard as you continued to speak. “It’s been so cold in the office today, but I’m on my way home now.”

A content hum came from the other line. “Finally. Feels like you’ve been gone forever.” An amused exhale escapes you at that. “You won’t be cold once you step outside, though. Boiling today, innit?”

You groan, the stickiness of the air clogging your lungs as soon as you step outside. “Yes, I’m outside now. I’m sure you’ve got the air on in my apartment. Can you just… grab me a blanket that I can wrap up in once I’m home?” 

The question embarrasses you almost immediately after it leaves your lips. Complaining about how hot it is, then asking your boyfriend to grab you a blanket seems silly. It kind of is. “The aircon is always freezing. I don’t care how hot it is outside,” you say, a whiny lilt as you talk over Lando’s squeaking laugh.

“Wow. Over 30 degrees out and of course you’re asking me for a blanket,” he starts, though he’s still laughing more than he is talking. “But yes, darling, I will preheat the couch for you with tea and blankets.”

A real laugh comes from you as you approach the entrance to the tube station. “Preheat? What am I, like, banana bread or something?”

Both of you were laughing now, Lando’s coming out broken as you waited underground for your train. “Banana bread sounds fantastic. You’ve made me hungry, now! Ugh, done me dirty. Jon won’t allow that,” he groans.

Another hum from you as the ticker board says your train is only a minute away. “Okay, okay. My train is here. I’ll be home in ten, my love. See you.”

“Right. See you soon, you loaf.”

let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Jon, in the future: Ah, yes. Me. My boyfriend. And his katana, still covered in the blood of our enemies.

[bloodlineee1]

Your mine.

pairing: Roman Reigns x reader.

warnings: smut minors dni 18+

plot: y/n has been getting close with Damien priest and her toxic ex/boyfriend(it's complicated) doesn't like that at all.

disclaimer: this is my first fic so bare with me lmaaooaoa

"no way you said that" I gasped.

talking to Damien Priest is always unpredictable right now he's telling me the story of the bar fight he got into last night.

"I swear" he laughs.

"so then what happened?" I laugh.

"so he stands up and-" he stops and looks over my shoulder.

I turn around and see Jimmy walking towards us.

"hey, sis.....priest" Jimmy puts his arm around me and kisses my forehead before mugging Damien.

"hi Jon" I smile and hug him.

"Roman wants to see you in his locker room" he whispers in my ear.

"right now?" I question.

"yes right now" he mocks me.

"well he's gonna have to wait, Priest is telling me a story" I roll my eyes and turn back towards Damien.

"It's okay go, I'll tell you the story later" he smiles.

"Are you sure?" I question.

"yeah, yeah I'll see you later anyways" he nudges my shoulder.

"Okay, I'll see you tonight." I smile.

we start walking towards Romans locker room and I already know I'm in trouble I've been pissing him off for 2 weeks I blocked him on everything, I've been going out after every show, I've been posting revealing photos because I know he's watching some how and I've been avoiding him but he deserves it after the shit he pulled.

"what y'all got a date or something?" he lifts one brow.

"Don't worry about it nosey" I walk faster.

"Roman ain't gonna like the fact that his girl going on a date" he catches up and shakes his head.

"I stopped being his girl a while ago and you better not tell him because I know you told him I was with priest yesterday" I smack his arm.

"I ain't say shit" he sucks his teeth and rubs his arm.

"you didn't tell him?" i tilt my head.

"hell nah I ain't tell him" he says obviously lying.

"then who told him?" i question.

"oh shit we're already here" he pushes me into the locker room and closes the door.

"Jon-" I yell.

roman looks up from his phone and I can see in his eyes I'm in huge trouble.

"Wise man, leave us" he says still staring into my soul.

"yes sir" Paul basically runs out of the locker room.

"pussy" I mumble.

"I heard you've been real friendly lately"

"I heard you've been in my business" I reply smartly.

"you are my business" he stands up.

"I haven't been your business since you decided getting your dick wet was worth our relationship" I roll my eyes.

"how many times do I have to tell you I didn't fuck her shes lying" he raises his voice.

"even if you didn't you still gave her the idea that she could" I yell.

"I told you this before that wasn't my intention you know your the only one that gets my dick wet" he smirks and put his hands on my waist.

"Whatever" I try not to smile.

"You been giving my pussy to Priest?"

"This is not your pussy anymore so it's none of your business if I have"

"Don't fucking play with me, You've been giving my pussy away?" he grabs me by the neck.

i smile.

"you smiling?".

"I guess Damien just has that effect on me" I test him.

"oh yeah" he puts his hand in my gear.

"mhm" I moan when he starts to play with my overly sensitive clit that missed him so much.

"Damien makes your pussy this wet?" he rubs his nose on my cheek.

"ah...uhuh" I chuckle.

"get on your fucking knees," he says obviously done with my antics.

"or what" I push a little more.

"don't be a fucking brat you already in trouble, I said get on your fucking knees" he grabs my hair, pulling Me Down to my knees.

testing his patience is my favorite thing to do.

"take it out" he says sternly with no room for arguments.

I untie the drawstring on his sweatpants and pull them down with his boxers, his dick springs out begging for attention that I'm not ready to give him just yet so I sit there and I stare.

"I'm really not in the mood for your fucking games you know what to do stop fucking playing with me or you won't cum for a week test me if you want to" he grabs me by the hair and lifts my head so I'm looking right at him.

"threats?" i ask mischievously.

"promises, baby girl, promises now be a good girl and open up that pretty mouth of yours" he taps my face.

I kiss his tip then I open my mouth and take him as deep as I can tasting his sweet pre-cum on my tongue.

"that's it, just like that" he groans.

I take it out of my mouth and stroke him so I can catch my breath.

"stop playing with it, you know better" he grabs my hair again he loves grabbing my hair and I love it even more.

I take him back into my mouth and he wastes no time fucking my throat aggressively not letting me up for air.

"you think he can fill your throat like this? huh?"

i look up at him with my glossy eyes begging him to slow down.

"oh please you know your enjoying this you love getting me this angry don't you?"

i moan.

"oh shit, fuck i'm gonna cum fuck" he moans before cumming in my mouth.

i look into his eyes before swallowing his cum.

"good girl" he kisses me.

i smile at him.

"my turn?" I look at him begging for a release but I know he's not gonna let me cum because he's a fucking psycho.

"don't look at me like that you know your not cumming after the shit you been pulling for two weeks." he dismisses my plea wiping my face with a warm towel.

"wha- that's no fair" I gasp.

"oh its not fair?" he grabs my titty.

"no stop don't touch me if your not gonna let me cum" I push him away.

"mhm I'll handle that attitude later but for right now clean yourself up you have a match in 20 and after that tell priest its over" he smacks my ass.

"it never started we're just friends" I laugh.

"better be, you're mine" he grabs me by the neck and kisses me before I walk into his private bathroom to get ready.

[theladycarpathia]

Billy’s not expecting the call from his dad.

“Billy?” Hop sounds distant, the faint sound of an idling engine in the background. Billy blinks, because his dad is at work and as far as Billy knows that usually means sitting behind a desk at the station and arguing with Flo.

“Don’t you have paperwork to be doing?” Billy says and Hopper snorts. There’s the sound of background traffic that’s then shut out by the clang of a car door.

“Don’t give me cheek, I am still the chief,” Hopper says as though that means anything in a small town where the most crime that they get is some drunk idiot attempting to rob the gas station.

“Yes, sir,” Billy quips and changes the channel. No one else is home and he’s bored. Jon and Joyce are still at work, and El and Will are doing weird nerd activities. The diner didn’t have a shift for him today and he doesn’t have a date, so he came home. He’d half expected someone to be here, instead of getting stuck with a protein bar and old reruns.

“That’s more like it,” Hopper says and then clears his throat awkwardly. “I was just wondering…are you definitely single?”

“Dad,” Billy says, attention now fully away from the TV set. Hop’s called him before, to ask him shit like do they need milk and to take the trash out. He doesn't call to talk about Billy's love life. They never talk about that, not after that time Hopper came in his room without knocking. “What is your next question, because this could make the next family dinner a little uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be a dick,” Hopper gripes. There’s the sudden cackle of laughter in the background and Billy sits up.

“Are you with someone?” he asks and then sucks in a breath at the implications. “Did you put me on speaker?”

“I may have done,” Hopper says, sounding sheepish. “I just picked up a young man outside the movie theatre and he’s about your age…”

“I’m nineteen!” the mystery guy hollers from the backseat. Hopper keeps talking like the guy hadn’t spoken.

“I don’t know, I just thought he was your type.”

Billy presses a hand to his temple, unable to believe that his dad has just said those words. “What’s my type?” he asks, wondering if he’s going to combust right here and now. Hopper makes that little awkward throat clearing again, like he can’t believe the situation either.

“You know,” he says stiffly. “Sort of…pretty.”

Oh God. Billy can never look Hopper in the eye again.

“You think I’m pretty?” the guy asks curiously, and Billy can’t blame him for sounding a bit weirded out.

“I think you look like a lot of the doe-eyed pretty-boys my son brings home,” Hopper snaps. Despite his obvious discomfort, Billy can’t help the rush of affection at Hopper trying to be supportive. Neil would have beat the shit out of him. Hopper tries to hook him up with appropriately aged delinquents in the back of the police car.

“A lot?” the guy asks and Billy flushes. He then regrets it because he has no idea if he even wants to impress whatever guy Hopper has picked up.

“It’s not a lot,” he says defensively because Hawkins isn’t exactly big on the gay scene. His last boyfriend he met at Tina’s Halloween party and to be fair, if you wear a kilt and not a lot else to a party in October, Billy’s absolutely going to beg you to rail him in the downstairs cloakroom. The relationship hadn't exactly worked out.

“Look, I get the feeling I’m never going to hear the end of this so here’s the situation,” Hopper says, sounding tired. “This is my son, Billy. He’s about to finish high school, he likes cars and burgers and loud music. He has shit taste in men even though he’s attractive, clever and a smart mouth. Billy, this is Steve. I was on my way back from the mayor’s office when I caught him peeing in an alley. Judging by his big brown eyes and the fact that public nudity doesn’t seem to be a problem for him, I thought of you.”

“Aww,” Billy drawls, sitting back on the couch. There are lights in the drive so someone has just arrived home. Which is good because he needs to tell everyone this story so they can give Hopper shit about it over dinner. “Pops, that’s so sweet.”

“Don’t say I never do anything for you,” Hopper says, like he hasn’t already done everything for Billy by getting him out, giving him a home. “I’ll take an extra polaroid when I process him.”

“I had to take a leak!” Steve protests and Hopper sucks in air through his teeth.

“There are public bathrooms, kid, I’ve heard those work pretty well. Billy, help your mom with dinner when she gets home.” Sucks for Hopper, it’s Jon heading up the path, keys dangling from his fingers. Billy can’t wait to tell him this story.

“Or what, you won’t bring me any more dates?” Billy asks, but he’s only half-joking. Hopper means well and kind of fucks it up a lot but this time he might have hit it right on the money. He thinks he might like Steve.

“Do I get a picture?” Steve asks. “Or does the Hawkins Police just pimp out young innocent men with full bladders?”

Oh yeah. He’s definitely going to like Steve.

“I have a picture on my desk,” Hopper admits grumpily. There’s the jangle of keys in the door as Jonathan lets himself in. “You can look at it if you’re good.”

“And what if I’m not?” Steve asks and Jonathan walks in just in time to raise his eyebrows at Billy.

“I can help punish him, if he’s not,” Billy suggests, and Hopper hangs up the phone just as Steve begins to laugh.

This has probably been done before because it's based on that famous tumblr post but it's so dull during school holidays I have nothing to do but write. And I have no in progress Harringrove fics which is probably a problem I should fix.

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Bro this whole discourse over who would be a republican/ a trumpie in the dc verse is so stupid imo bc we have so much canon info

Batfamily: none of them have been even vaguely conservative since the 90s, infact they’re all pretty far left with Bruce being the most center because he trusts one (1) cop. (Oooh but dick was a cop, yes as an infiltration tactic until he realized they were too corrupt -he was also like 19-20 during this time- to fix and canonically doesn’t work with them at all as a rule)

Bruce rebuilds his city pro bono like twice a year and single handedly funds like 80% of their social welfare, it’s also canon he refers goons to the nearest Wayne enterprise and gets them hired if Batman knows they’re just their bc they’re struggling

Arrows: NEVER INSULT OLIVER QUEEN IN MY FACE EVER AGAIN. This man is 50% a communist 50% Bernie sanders biggest fan depending on the media.

This man would never be a republican ignoring the arrowverse like it’s actually canon that Ollie won’t shut up about politics

Superfam: … the illegal alien who has to hide the fact he’s different from everyone else in a small town…. Hmmm maybe Kon is conservative if you’re blind, deaf and a little slow, Jon has a pink haired boyfriend and is besties with a middle eastern/south Asian kid actually so let’s not?

Clark Canonically hates the KKK you think he’d be part of the party whose candidate was endorsed by them??

Flashes: Barry Allen is a conservative, Wally west was when he was younger but he’s been pretty liberal since he became as adult, Wallace has never been conservative (TV Barry you will always be the most likeable Barry)

Lanterns: Hal Jordan is a Conservative, the rest are in fact not

Wonder Woman collective: Diana??? Donna??? Artemis?? Cassie??? None of the above don’t be dumb

Anyway it’s pretty hard to have a heroic character who doesn’t believe in social welfare? Since they’re running around saving people for free and 99% of them are anti killing. + having characters be sexist, racist and/or homophobic makes them less likable objectively and also narrows down the amount of stories you can tell.

[nxtaliaistyping]

I don't know if you do poly scenes, but if so, could you do the riddler x reader x scarecrow? (the riddler and scarecrow put aside their differences to give their partner a very special birthday gift) (I love the way you write)

Scriddler making their gf’s birthday a special one

Authors note: thank you v much! And yes I do indeed write poly scenes (ngl I’ll write nearly anything). Their characterisations are very much inspired by @capr1pengu1n ‘s amazing two part series of threesome fics with Edward and Jonathan. [x] [x]

Nsfw 18+, fem reader, threesome obvs, fingering

“You bought her flowers?”

“Of course i did.” Edward snaps, rolling his eyes. “God haven’t you ever had a girlfriend before? Oh, scratch that, I know you haven’t.”

“Alright no need to get your panties in a twist.” Jonathan mumbles in return, ascending the final set of stairs before arriving at your apartment door. "Besides, I got her a gift. One besides flowers that'll die in a couple days."

Edward scoffs as he knocks on your door, casting a glance at the doctor. "You think I've only bought her flowers? I have another ace up my sleeve. Don't you know how much money I've acquired over the years?"

"Goddamn it will you stop talkin' like i'm broke-"

Both of their eyes snap to the door as you open it, smiling softly at seeing both of your boyfriends waiting for you. Edward, determined as ever to have all eyes on him, thrusts the flowers into your hands quickly before Jonathan can speak.

"A very happy birthday my dear." he chirps happily, and as you gush over the flowers he casts a self satisfied smirk Jonathan's way.

Jon coughs a little, before giving you a half smile. "Yeah, happy birthday darlin'."

You invite them both in, your cheeks already burning a little at the attention as you go to place Edward's flowers in a vase. Thinking you can hear them bickering again from the other room, you laugh and sit between them both on the sofa.

"Maybe try not to launch at eachother, at least until I've had my cake?" you say with a grin.

"Anything for you my love." Edward croons at you, giving you a cheeky kiss beneath your earlobe. Jonathan huffs, curling his arm around your waist.

"Got y'a little somethin'"

You turn to look as Jonathan opens his coat jacket and retrieves something from the large inner pocket. He produces a crow's feather, presumably his own crow Ichabod's, that had been pressed.

"Figured cause y'like to read, it could be a bookmark or somethin'..." He sounds unsure as he speaks, almost like he's embarrassed, but you take it with a bright smile.

"Oh Jonathan...it's beautiful. That's so thoughtful, thank you!"

He hums a little at your praise, mumbling a quick 'don't mention it.' before you kiss him on the cheek. As you pull away, Edward laughs softly at the slight red imprint you've left on his cheek with lipstick.

You go to clean it, before Edward catches your wrist. "I say we leave it, it suits him."

Jonathan grumbles and starts to wipe at his cheek with his sleeve, as Edward dramatically clears his throat. "Now it's my turn."

He pulls out a small box from his pocket, an emerald green bow delicately wrapped around it. You take it gently, undoing the bow and shimmying the box open.

Inside was a beautiful ring, clearly expensive. It held an emerald in the centre, but had a small engraved bird on the inside. You couldnt stop the tears that slightly form in your eyes as you gaze upon such a thoughtful gift.

“Edward I…I don’t know what to say…”

He smiles, you’d even have called it a genuine smile, and brushes some stray hairs from your face.

“How about a thank you?” He teases, to which Jonathan scoffs.

“Thank you Edward.” You giggle, and he mimes a bow.

“You’re very welcome darling.”

You can’t help but flush at the attention, taking the ring out and slipping it on your finger. The gemstone sparkles in the low light of your room, and you hold it up to get a closer look.

“Didn’t know you’d done that…havin’ us both represented I mean.” Jonathan says, his eyes glancing between the ring and Edward.

“Yes well, she’s lucky enough to have two of Gotham’s brightest and baddest doting over her, so she might as well have a representation of that.”

“Baddest? Didn’t know you were capable of speaking in grammatically incoherent sentences.”

“I was clearly saying it in jest, I thought my tone was evident. God it’s like you’ve never socialized with anyone apart from that damn crow of yours.”

“Well i appreciate it.” You say, cutting them both off. Giggling, you give Edward a kiss on the cheek before doing the same to Jonathan, but the more narcissistic of the two pouts.

“I got you an expensive ring, and all I get is a kiss on the cheek?”

Rolling your eyes, you lean over and capture his lips in a kiss, one that he quickly deepens. His hand cups your jaw, tongue licking at your lower lip as you swallow the slight mint taste of his mouth.

Jonathan shuffles along to be nearer, bony fingers tracing up and down your arm. His eyes roam your form, taking in the pretty dress you'd put on for the occasion. As Edward pulls away to pepper kisses along your jawline, he speaks.

"Did you wear this just f'us?"

You nod softly, as the two men smirk at your devotion, your eagerness to please even on your birthday of all days. Jonathan runs his hands appreciatively around your waist, feeling the soft material.

With a soft groan, Edward makes his way to your neck, sucking a soft mark into your clear skin. Taking the opportunity, your lips are captured by Jonathan's own, tasting the coffee and cigarettes that always permeates his mouth. The clear contrast between the two men always gives you whiplash in the best possible way, the two villains being so similar and yet so different.

It takes all of Edward's willpower to not just yank you into his lap, but alas he's learning to share. His gloved hands move to the back of your dress, feeling the zip and dragging it down a little, causing you to gasp into Jonathan's mouth.

"Edward..." you giggle, which elicits a chuckle in return.

"What? I believe we both owe you a more...intimate present."

He punctuates his words by zipping it down more and more, until your back is exposed. Jonathan laughs and helps, dragging the straps down until your tits spill out.

"No bra?" Jonathan remarks, before grabbing them before Edward could seize the opportunity. You arch into his touch, moaning softly as he circles his thumbs around your now erect nipples.

Edward decides to go to shimmy you further out of your dress, pushing it down and down until it hung loosely around your ankles. Now you were left only in your panties, which had grown embarrassingly wet at both of your boyfriend’s ministrations.

“Oh you wanted this, didn’t you darling? Wanted us to come over and ravage you for your celebration.”

You bite your lip, not wanting to admit you had indeed thought about it. Instead you can only watch as Edward starts to trail his hand up your bare thigh.

“Not even gonna take the gloves off?” Jonathan remarks, to which Edward returns a shit-eating grin.

“Would you be a dear and take them off for me?”

“Keep dreaming.”

You huff, reaching to take them off before Edward gently slaps your hands away. Instead he brings one to your lips, eyeing you expectantly as you gently bite and tug it off, repeating the same motion with the other one. He hums in satisfaction, and reward you by bringing two fingers to your clothed clit and starting to rub slow circles.

At your moan, Jonathan pinches your nipples just to watch you squirm, laughing to himself. He soothes them a little before leaning down and taking one into his mouth, sucking. You arch your back, before Edward decides to pull down your underwear and leave you completely exposed for the two of them.

“So wet…” he remarks, rubbing a finger casually up and down your soaked folds, before bringing it away and letting your slick shine on his fingertip.

“God she’s drippin’” Jonathan says in agreement, bringing a long finger down to do the same, only he dips his into your entrance a little, causing you to buck into his touch.

“Now now, no need to get impatient.” Edward says with a sharp slap to your thigh. “We’ll give you what you need. We always do.”

Whimpering at the slight pain, you still your movements so Jonathan can slip his finger inside. He groans gently at how tight you feel around his digit, moving it in and out in an almost experimental way.

Edward takes over fondling your tits, using both hands to caress and grab at the soft flesh. Soft little noises escape you, so Jonathan seeks to have you make more, pushing a second finger in and crooking them.

A gasp can be heard from your parted lips, and Jonathan keeps moving his fingers in and out, pumping them in a steady rhythm. The slick noises fill all of your ears, and Edward grins at the salaciousness of the act.

“I suppose we shouldn’t be too mean. It is your special day.” He teases, reaching down and starting to play with your clit in time with Jonathan’s fingering.

You nod in agreement, really wanting to get permission to cum. And both men seem determined for that to happen, with Jonathan bringing his free hand up to tweak at your nipple, while Edward’s free hand braces around the back of your neck, keeping you still.

The sensations get too much, and soon enough your cumming around their fingers with a soft cry, soaking the both of them. Edward moans the loudest, leaning down to get a closer look at when Jonathan removes his fingers with a soft squelch.

At your hole fluttering, the narcissist can’t help but move forward and lap up your cum with his tongue. You moan loudly at the sensitive feeling, but Jonathan clamps a hand around your hip to keep you from wriggling away too much. Luckily Edward doesn’t overstimulate for long, achieving his fill of your taste before pulling away.

“Now, I think the man who got you the better present should have the honours of fucking you first.”

“Bullshit, I was the one fingerin’ her. Besides mine was thoughtful.”

“As was mine! Luxury isn’t always cold you know. Well, of course you don’t know that, you wouldn’t know luxury if it slapped you around the face and knocked the stupid mask off.”

You can’t help but laugh softly. Even on your birthday, the bickering never stops. But as you lament that they both had great presents for you, so you can’t decide which one to choose…a wicked grin crosses their faces.

“Well if y’’can’t choose, I suppose it’ll have to be both of us.”

[florisa6s]

A idea- Birdflash/Jayroy/Timkon

I feel like Damian has the worst luck seeing all his brothers boyfriends getting kissed by this man...Santa Claus.

I imagine Damian going to see his brothers only to see each of their lovers getting kissed by Santa (aka his brothers) and he's been feeling guilty for not telling his brothers that their significant other is cheating.

Until one day Santa visited the manor while everyone was there and he just blurts out when he sees Jon talking to "Santa"

------

Damian: Get Away From That Fiend!

Jon: what why?

Dick: yeah don't you like Santa little D?

Damian: No I do not! I'm sorry Grayson... Drake, Todd I'm not as sorry as I am to Grayson but I've got to tell someone about this.... Your significant others....cheated on you!

Roy, Wally, Kon, Dick, Jason, Tim: WHAT!

Damian: yes it's true...this fiend 'Claus' has been kissing your Lovers! He is a horrible creature snatching people's significant others! That's why I hate him!

Jason: oh...thank goodness it was only Santa Claus for a second I thought I would have to kill someone

Tim: wait you think that was...

Dick: oh little D that wasn't-

Wally: wasn't what Dick? That was totally Santa Claus...roll with it Jon and Damian still thinks Santa is real!

Damian: and that's also why you are no longer allowed to be near that monster Jonathan.

Jon: Santa kissed everyone? What about my mom?

Damian: yeah he probably got to her too for now on you must stay with me until Christmas is over!

Tim: Damian I don't think-

Kon: shush...let them have their fun