#i saved this post as a draft like a year ago and scrolled through to find it bc IT HAPPENED AGAIN

[ghosty-schnibibit]

can my dreams please stop turning me into jon bc whenever they do martin is also there and i wake up sad that i'm not boyfriends with fictional character martin blackwood in real life

[coconox]

my 2 cents on the state of whb

i've been contemplating about my thoughts on this game since i never really sat down and processed it, and a month of not playing the game and just keeping up with fandom content/official game news i think i can properly format my words (hopefully idk lol)

if you're looking for a specific section dw i'll properly format everything under the cut so you can just scroll till you find whatever you're looking for (also head's up it's insanely long i'm sorry but kinda not sorry i wanted to just put all my thoughts into one post rather than multiple)

SMALL INTRO

for some context on my experience, i have been playing this game everyday since launch/day 1, i was f2p up until i got juno's card, which i'll talk about later, but just know in advanced that juno was the only case where i've spent money. i uninstalled around the time the announcement was made in regards to no posting full stories of paid content, so almost month ago, and only reinstalled recently to grab certain items to add to the spreadsheet that i've been maintaining since november (aka a month after launch)

i've said it privately to a couple of close friends but i'll say it publicly here: imho, i think they released the game way too early even with the fact that they delayed launch 3 times.

i understand a handleful of bugs are from the fact that the public servers are significantly larger than test servers, but playing this game after the servers kinda stabilized feels like we are the test players, like we're constantly given rough drafts rather than the final copy.

the localization is rough to say the least, but i think i've been so used to it from other gachas that i've played that it didn't really ruin the experience for me,,, except when the text would switch to an entirely different language HJGFDHJGK

from visual bugs to gameplay bugs to voiceline bugs, there's been a lack of communication in terms of what has been fixed and what is still a wip. instead the players just have to "fuck around and find out" in terms of whether something has been fixed or not.

as i continue to state the issues with this game and its direction i'd like to put a disclaimer that i am by no means an expert in any of this stuff lol. i'm just a guy who nerds out over math, spreadsheets, and video games and everything i'll be saying is my personal opinion based on what i've seen/experienced.

THE ISSUE(S)

SOLOMON SEALS AND GACHA

i think the first mistake was them adding solomon seals in the first place. based on what packs in the past looked like, it looked like red keys were originally designed to be for debut characters, but instead they throw a curve ball and add ANOTHER gacha currency that was essentially p2w only up till some point early this year. this ultimately led to there being 2 standard banners, both of which essentially do the same thing except one doesn't have A/B/C-ranks. the fact that now even with realm of seraphim, in order for f2ps to have enough to guarantee with seals, they need to save for a year and a half. that is WAY too long for ONE character. this is of course worst case scenario of needing to hit pity, i'm aware you can get characters early but you should never always expect you'll get early in gacha games, i learned that the hard way during my idk how many years i've been playing gachas lol

i personally think that there's no winning across any of the gacha banners. there's no pity for either of the standards, and debut L/S-ranks have imo too high of a pity for what we're actually receiving per week. we essentially get more or less 1 pull per week in terms of red keys, yellow keys, and seals through dailies/weeklies alone, though of course that can vary cause of the rng key boxes, monthly login rewards, etc.

PANCAKES

there seems to be a general pattern that i've noticed of rather than confronting an issue directly they try to create something new in hoping that fixes the issue instead. an example of that would be the pancake shop.

the old pancake shop was fine as is, we could get a multi for relatively cheap price and get pie boxes everyday (albeit they're rng but pies are pies). what they could've done was add the L-ranks and skip tickets or whatever new thing they wanted to add into that old shop, adjusting the currency wherever necessary. yet instead they just remove the old system entirely and replace it for a new one that no one really asked for? while having the L-ranks in shop are nice, an entirely new system wasn't necessary to make that one relatively small addition. having A+-ranks and lower give gold and books was also not necessary, we have resource stages containing those 2 things and it's very accessible to everyone. what resources we are lacking in however are tears and pies, which are arguably more important than gold and books since those 2 currencies are the core to ascending/lvling characters and their skills.

PIES

i've emailed pb in the past in regards to if there will be other permanent methods for obtaining pies, and their response was holy coin portal and events. those two are NOT stable enough for pie income considering the prices of skills. if there's instances in unholy board where we need to level a character's skills, i'd expect there to be some sort of resource stage that would allow us to get pies so that we can easily obtain that skill level requirement.

"META" GAMEPLAY

i'll explain the quotes in a bit but i do want to put a disclaimer that whb was the first time i've experienced a full on tower defense style gameplay for gachas. i was already familiar with how it works kinda because of neural cloud even though the game as a whole is more like an auto-chess game of sorts, but some story gameplay had tower defense mechanisms and i learned a fair bit from playing that. personally i also haven't played arknights since i'm trying to cut down on the amount of gachas i play but i am aware of its playstyle through friends who like to attempt to drag me into playing it cause of certain characters that i might simp over (*cough flamebringer cough insider cough chongyue cough*)

disclaimer aside, trying to piece together what characters work and what don't genuinely hurts my brain. i put "meta" in quotes because realistically there's only 1: all L-rank light types, ideally at least 1 tank, maybe 1 healer (though a tank can act as both), rest be whatever dps you'd like really (preferably satan considering the fact he can be extremely reliable without his ultimate unlike a few characters). of course, everyone will have a different opinion on what they deem as meta, but that's the general idea i'd personally follow based on what kind of battles have been given to us, what characters are available, etc. the rest tbh are just "cope and seethe" for lack of a better term.

there's a huge type advantage with light and dark types, and i really wish they could buff the other elements more just show they have some spotlight too. i also wish there were more non-light L-ranks. as of making this post, out of the 23 L-rank characters there is currently only 1 non-light L-rank, and it's juno, an L-rank fire marksman.

the part that really "hurts" me the most (don't really know what other word to put here LOL) is the fact that this game is going in a very specific direction of just dps'ing through everything and hope you clear the stage before the enemies kill you.

this game has a huge and imbalanced ratio between dps characters and support characters regardless of element. the fact that we only have 5 healers (NOT including lucifer (victory) considering he's technically a marksman and the healing is from his artifact and not in his skills) and 8 tanks, whereas marksman and close-rangers have twice or thrice the amount is absurd. what pains me more is the fact that for tanks, if you don't have mammon, you're screwed. arguably the best non-mammon option players have that's accessible is bimet. valefor and eligos share the same kit with the fact that their downfall is the possibility that they could be instakilled the second they pop their ult. healers on the other hand are somewhat more lenient. if you don't have lucifer, marbas is your next best, then gamigin (marbas and gamigin can technically be placed interchangeably since their healing differs by 0.1%, it just depends on who you have), then morax, then maybe buer but he only heals 1 unit at a time rather than multiple but i digress. healers still have multiple and very reliable non-L-rank alternatives whilst tanks really only have 1. i really, really hope there's more support units in the future cause man this sucks.

NIGHTMARE PASS

spending $50-$70, on paper, is significantly better than spending ~$400 for a character, and that's really the only "good" thing about it 💀

$50-$70 may feel like nothing to some players, but to a majority, that is a portion of a cost towards food, groceries, rent, etc. basically, i'd assume a majority of people would prioritize surviving than watching pixels on a screen.

i understand at the end of the day pb is running a business, but for kings to be fully locked behind a paywall knowing for a fact that a majority of the player base are 1. casuals/f2ps and 2. are here for the kings is absurd. plus with the fact that typically nightmare pass characters aren't added to standard and aren't always 100% guaranteed to rerun in the future just puts the nail in the coffin for me.

i think it makes more sense for non-kings like juno to be in nightmare pass because it's just additional fun and silly content that arguably won't be tied to the main lore and whatnot, maybe referenced as a silly bit here or there but it'd be more of an easter egg than something important that you absolutely need to know.

personally i bought juno's pass because i love his design, kit, and voice. story was kinda meh for me personally but i really just cared more about the va and gameplay. gameplay-wise, he certainly does not disappoint as a gehenna support unit. but do i regret purchasing him? yes and no. oddly enough this was probably the first i've ever felt guilty in terms of buying something i wanted in a gacha game. yes i regret it in terms of i'm no longer really playing this game anymore, which is unfortunate considering i barely made it through half a year of this game's release. yet at the same time, no i don't regret it because he is a really fun unit. for example, when it's gabriel's rotation in realm of seraphim, juno's, leraye (nostalgia)'s, and leraye's ultimates absolutely DESTROY gabriel in a matter of like <10 or so seconds and it's so satisfying to see. i also just really like his va, scratches a very particular itch in my brain.

anyways before i get sidetracked over appreciating juno, the fundamental flaws of nightmare pass are essentially

you shouldn't need to buy both tiers to get the character. you should realistically need to buy the highest tier and by default it unlocks all previous tiers below it

ui is a bit confusing. i still don't get why f2ps have to unlock parts of nightmare pass that they can't even access/obtain. there should be a clear separation between what f2ps get, what advanced tier gets, and what premium tier gets.

it's too expensive. most bp's i know are ~$10 at the highest tier, though that's considering the fact that bp's i'm familiar with only give cosmetics rather than actual units

from what i've heard through the grapevine, beel (bath) is basically in the same formatting as all the other currently existing bath cards, which are all currently obtainable through gacha. beel has no reason to be in nightmare pass. it genuinely makes no sense as to why pb put him there aside from getting money and that in-turn alienates a majority of the fan base since we can't even view the prologue of card stories if they're a nightmare pass character.

when nightmare pass was first released during christmas, everything was in chaos. the fact that a nightmare pass character needed the other two limited gacha characters gameplay-wise is absurd (mind you, this was before we were given the chance to earn seals through weeklies). everything was too expensive, and rather than an enjoyable christmas event it felt like a "merry christmas, now give us money" kind of situation. i think nightmare pass should not be happening as frequent as it is now. the gap between gabriel and juno was perfectly fine (4 month gap btw), but for a nightmare pass to happen back to back on top of gacha events is too much for both f2ps and p2ws.

the point of buying packs, bp, anything that costs real money in a gacha game is so it makes your gameplay experience easier, paying shouldn't be the main component of your game. personally based on what i've experienced through playing gacha games you should theoretically be able to pull for almost every character on debut just by playing dailies/weeklies/events, yet here we get a bit over a multi per patch (this includes playing realm of seraphim).

DICTATING FANDOM INTERACTIONS

i wholeheartedly believe a fandom is what keeps a game alive. a hindrance to the fan base is a hindrance to the game, which can be seen with the aftermath of pb announcing that legal action will be taken if full stories of paid content are shared publicly. while i understand from a business standpoint that pb would want to enforce the "no sharing full story" thing for paid content since they want players to yk, buy the card, like i mentioned in the previous section, the majority of the player base just cannot afford it.

the people who posted full stories wanted to share to those who cannot afford it, some people may not want only tidbits of the story but rather the whole context, especially those who enjoy dissecting character lore but don't have the irl funds to fully experience it themselves. some people may even want to archive it, cause honestly no one knows how long this game will stay up and we want to archive story so that it's something we can easily look back on. to essentially make players borderline terrified on trying to figure out whether or not it's ok to publicly post stuff in relation to any sort of story content is absurd.

there is also that loophole of what is defined as a paid story. when events end and get put behind a paywall, does that now count as paid story or is that still ok? what about debut L-ranks that are behind seals and there's a 3 month downtime till they're added to standard? or is it just referring to nightmare pass characters? paid stories in the context of the state of the game right now is insanely broad, it's practically at least 50% of this game (i'm exaggerating (or maybe not i wouldn't be surprised if that was actually the case)).

i understand no datamining, while it technically speaking isn't illegal, it's disrespectful to the devs, but a lot of these call to action methods they're announcing are rather extreme imo.

with the most recent cards either being put to standard 3 months after their banner ends or flat out paywalled and not 100% guaranteed to have a rerun, story content as of late has been very sparse. what people want most is a main story update, which we were originally promised to be updated every 3 months and it is now month 6 and we still have nothing.

EVENTS AND EVENT STORIES

event stories being locked behind a paywall after the event ends is probably the first time i've ever seen a gacha game do this. most of the gachas i've played either don't archive event story at all and just rerun it every year, don't rerun or archive the event at all (i.e. if you miss it, cope and seethe), or they archive it for FREE. it feels insanely greedy how EVERY event story needs payment if you ever want to backread an old event.

what also concerns me is the fact like instances like gamigin's event or beleth's event carry so much lore for their respective region and that may never show up in main story, which then screws new players over in not knowing the full context behind every region. events like minhyeok's or bimet's are fine in the sense that it doesn't carry that much lore in comparison to the more recent events. the first few events were like silly banter and getting to know a bit more about the cast.

also changing the event shop from daily pies to a set limit per account was an awful choice it just emphasizes my point earlier of how unstable obtaining pies are in this game.

FULFILLING PROMISES

i think while it was a smart move to list what's gonna be implemented throughout the year, they shouldn't have stated deadlines on when they're doing so.

the following are the things that still aren't implemented yet as of making this post:

new daily chats (expected within february)

friends system (expected within march)

birthday system (more specifically celebrating your bday) (expected within april)

new main story chapter (new chapter expected every 3 months)

if pb were to just say "here's what to expect in 2024" and NOT give specific months, that's fine, but giving these specific months sets an expectation that they would complete it within that timeframe. main story for example is probably the one people have been anticipating the most. by now as of july, if we were to follow the expectation pb gave us, we would currently be on chapter 7, or at the very least chapter 7 would've been released some time this month. we have not even gotten chapter 6 yet. chapter 5 was released in january. it has been 6 months since the last main story update. failing to meet these timeframes will make people upset, because it was mentioned in the announcement that it's 1. a promise (i hope i'm not the only one that takes promises seriously) and 2. in bold yellow text, "what we can realistically expect to see in 2024." the only promises that were fulfilled on-time were the ones in january, the rest have been delayed by at least a month. if you're giving a timeline of what's happening, announce if there's any changes to that timeline, because not doing so will make players believe you were lying to them even though you probably aren't and are instead just falling behind schedule.

i think what hurts more to me is the fact that they aren't publicly communicating these delays. it shouldn't be our responsibility to find out why or when something isn't happening within the timeframe they promised (e.g. by emailing them), it should be up to the devs to communicate that publicly to us. i'm not saying they should overshare what's going on behind the scenes, it can simply just be a simple announcement of "hey, we're very sorry but we're having some technical difficulties with this certain feature and we need more time. here is some compensation in the meantime, thank you for your patience and again, we're very sorry." it's that simple.

FINAL THOUGHTS

i mentioned back in my intro that i feel like this game was released too early purely because the fundamentals of making a bare minimum decent gacha game are just not there. if every patch update has people complaining on what's just recently been added/removed, you're not fully listening to what the audience wants. while i understand pb is a small business, a business is still a business regardless of size and criticism/feedback is necessary especially in a game dev setting.

i've followed this game's news ever since it was teased, which was december of 2022, i've lurked/participated in the fandom (on here at least) ever since september of 2023. i've felt a rollercoaster of thoughts and emotions of "omg this is so great" to "why is this even a feature," hoping that over time the game would get better, but the only thing that's improved was server stability (and even that's still a bit rocky 💀).

a huge part of my stay was just being a lurker in the fandom. i genuinely appreciate all the creatives who fulfill asked prompts of characters, make ocs, fanart, write theories, reactions + many more. i love seeing other people's works/opinions and having just a lively fandom made it all more fun.

but at this point this game is just not for me. i've really only stuck around to read mammon's lore but since main story hasn't been updated in 6 months i'll really only chime back in when there's finally an update. it still amazes me to this day that my patience lasted this long. i think i've covered everything i wanted to cover but my memory is swiss cheese so if i forgot something,,, woops 💀

as for the future of the spreadsheet for those who check back on it, it's still being managed by myself and windy, who has been a huge help since day 1 of creating the build lists and team comps and i honestly can't thank her enough for also enduring this pain of a game with me as we've worked on this spreadsheet together hgjdfgh (luv u bestie 🫶). though it's written in the narrative that both of us will eventually quit updating it entirely if this game persists on not having any signs of improvement. when that day comes i'll make sure to post an announcement about it.

as for myself i'm probably still gonna lurk in the fandom/keep an eye out on game news. i doubt i'll be making any fanart anymore unless if i really have the motivation/boredom for it, but currently i'm revamping the "aesthetics" of this account so nothing's really set in stone. maybe i'll make a few whb rambles here or there if some game news really irks me but for the most part i've already been in the process of moving on to other things.

if you've stuck around this long to read this mess of a post, thank you for sticking around and have a cookie, you deserve it 🫴🍪

[caffeinetheif]

Brothers and dateables (+Luke if ya want) platonic, how would they react/treat an mc with a chronic illness and/or chronic pain?

Gn Mc please :)

Thanks for the request! Super sorry for the late post. I started on this then saved it to drafts and completely forgot it was in there rip. I'm planning on making the Datable's their own post for this request and previous ones so people don't have to scroll through an entire post trying to find the one they want.

Brothers With an MC with Chronic Pain

AN: I tried keeping it as platonic/vague as possible

GN! MC

Warnings: brief mentions of chronic pain but not explained in detail

Lucifer

As much as he wants to keep his concern under wraps, he doesn't hide his actions very well. Concerned glances or regular check-ins. Eventually, he gets over himself and just tells you to take it easy and rest regularly. He will demand that you tell him what chores make the pain worse so he can assign them to his brothers.

Has a multitude of pain killers on him at all times. Claims it's so you don't have to leave for the nurse's during class (but really it's because he doesn't like seeing you in so much pain and so he has an excuse to see you throughout the day.)

Mammon

He'll be like a helicopter, constantly hovering and making sure you're comfortable. He'll do anything you ask, just tell him what to do

He definitely has the devildom version of WebMD pulled up and looking up your symptoms of pain. Several times he's called Solomon (because he's the only other human) or Satan (because he's smart) because he has worked himself into a tizzy.

Leviathan

He tries his best. He wants you to be comfy so he offers you his bed/tub and gets so flustered when you mention it might make it worse. It's the thought that's cute though.

He will do anything you ask him to (simp) because he loves you and wants you to not be in pain. He'll be constantly checking in because he's so worried.

Satan

He would be one of the most rational about your pain. With how much he reads and how many books are in his collection, he has a ton of knowledge about different conditions at his disposal. You might need to tell him that the older books (e.g. medical books from hundreds of years ago) aren't the most relaible anymore.

He definitely researches to see which medication or Devildom equivalent would work best for your chronic pain. He'll even make sure it's the correct dosage for your needs.

Asmodeus

Like Mammon, he'd work himself into a tizzy, but he deals with his anxiousness about your health much better. He makes lists of what you use for the pain so he can have them in his room too so you can use them when you stay in his room.

His room will be the ultimate safe haven of chronic pain. Heating pads? Check. Muscle relaxers and pain killers? Check. Supportive pillows for your back, knees, or feet? He's got them all. He also fusses over you a little and does little check-in texts through the day.

Beelzebub

Beel will be the most clueless about what to do if I'm being completely honest. You will need to explain to him that your chronic pain isn't something that goes away like his muscle soreness after a workout or Fangol game. The sweet demon will ask you to tell him more about it so he can better understand

Because he plays Fangol, he'll have ice and heating packs around his room that he'll gladly let you use. He hates seeing you in pain and discomfort, but he isn't sure what exactly will make it better. He'll offer to carry you from one location to another if you mention needing to go somewhere.

Belphegor

He has fluffy blankets and pillows on stand by if you want them. Also has a heating pad that he sleeps with occasionally, but he would willingly give it to you if it helps with your pain

If it's a super bad day, he'll just laydown next to you. If you tell him that you need something, like pain killers, he will get up and go get them and a bottle of water without complaint.

[canyouiimagine]

Showed Me | CS55 x Black!Reader (draft)

A/N: This is just a draft but I wanted to know if you guys like the use of I or You better 👩🏾‍💻 👉🏾👈🏾

I'm also planning on making this a series so, yeah 💖

Warnings: cursing, mean reader, mentions of cheating. (idk how to do this 😭)

Carlos Sainz was an asshole. 

I knew it, she knew it, everybody knew it. 

It wasn’t even like the man looked like an angel. Carlos looked the part and his actions told it all. He was selfish and narcissistic, but he was also charming, and that’s how he got away with everything.

Y/BF/N had met him at a party a year ago in Ibiza. It was love at first sight she told me. He had saved her from a guy who was harassing her and stayed with her afterward to make sure she was okay. He eventually drove her home not expecting anything in return and gave her his number in case she needed anything. Shortly after, they started dating. 

To her, was sweet and caring. He flew her out places, bought her expecting gifts, and gave her his time whenever he could. But being an F1 driver, they were apart a lot. Sure, he would fly her out but it was different. They were in a secret relationship, something that he had managed to convince her she wanted, and so even when in the same city, the time they could spend together was limited. 

To me, he was a prick who had convinced my friend that it would be better to keep their relationship a secret so he could feed her crumbs and use it as an excuse.

Carlos being an F1 driver, they were apart a lot. Sure she would sometimes attend the races - she was a software engineer and worked remotely so she could accommodate - but they couldn't even interact in public. They spent their time loving each other in secret. It was hard but worth it. Or so she thought. 

After a year of dating that’s when she saw it. A girl had posted a picture at his house. She didn’t tag him or add the location but she didn’t need to for my friend to know. Of course she would recognize the house she spent half of her time in anywhere! Though she tried to reassure herself at first, after scrolling through the pictures she resigned herself. He had been cheating on her the entire time. There were pictures upon pictures of her at the same places she had been flown to, to meet up with her boyfriend. Hotels and homes they stayed at. And all with a week or sometimes even just hours she presumed of difference!

She didn’t even know who was the side chick, was it her or the other girl? Had he met the both of them at the same time? Were there other girls? 

She cried on the phone explaining everything to me and I couldn’t resist the urge to say -

“I told you so.”

“Y/N! You’re supposed to be supportive! I gave him one year of my life. One year!” She cried out to me. 

“I’m sorry…” And I really was. Y/BF/N was emotional. She was the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. She wouldn’t think ill of somebody until they did something bad to her, that’s why all of our warnings fell silent to her ears. 

“He wasn’t a bad boyfriend. There was no way I could have suspected this.” She lamented. What she said was half true. He was a good boyfriend, always treated her very well but his actions were suspicious on more than one occasion. 

For instance, they had this “ritual” if you will. They would call each other every night to talk about their day and whatnot. But sometimes he wouldn’t answer the phone and tell her he was busy with work but could be seen partying with girls later in the media. She would ask him about and he would say it was for business and he couldn’t say no because then they would suspect something and he wanted to protect her. 

That was always his excuse.

“We can’t let him get away with this! We-” She said, all sadness gone from her face. 

“We?” I asked, cutting her off. I didn’t remember this being a ‘we’ problem. 

She glared at me and resumed what she was saying. “We -" she emphasized, "- have to make him pay!”. 

She looked at me expectingly and I sighed.“What do you have in mind?”

Hearing that, she grinned, looking at me with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

Like I said, Y/BF/N was emotional. She wanted revenge and revenge was what I did best. 

[yooniesim]

honestly for your mental health you should probably not be so invested in every. single. bit of drama in this community. every time there’s drama you’re a big player in it. you’re usually not wrong haha, i’m just saying it seems exhausting for you.

Apologies for the book I'm about to inflict on you, nonny. No worries if you don't read it.

The thing is, I'm honestly not. And haven't been for a long time now.

If you'd said this to me six months ago, i would've actually agreed with you, nonny. I've said myself that that is a hole of negativity that is easy to fall into, and it is an exhausting one. I've done it before, I'm aware of that, and I'm sure as hell not going to do it again. So I can't quite agree with you now. There's so many things on my dash I just pass by & don't comment on. My drafts are full of text posts that I write that I purposefully save and delete rather than post. There's so many incidents and receipts of them I just try not to remember. And I've blocked so many people now to keep it all away, and thankfully for the most part it's clear now. Just scroll through my blog through the last few months- I've barely said anything. My first long post of the year was a few days ago and it wasn't even about "drama" lol. And you kinda sent this while I'm coming back from a break taking myself away from tumblr for the most part, for the sake of my mental health.

But if I ever say one thing... even if it's just one thing... somehow everybody and their mom is suddenly making a vague post about me, or lying about something I never said or did despite there being proof otherwise. I mean actual bold faced lying. I've even seen my own totally unrelated personal text posts (not about simblr or drama whatsoever) being commented on/manipulated/reposted. Even when I was on hiatus and posting 99% sims content. But I haven't been talking about it. I've been blocking the blank blogs and the anons that send me asks without replying (except the two from Thursday), I've been blocking people here that are clearly just trying to goad me into arguing, I've been ignoring the vague posts. Y'all don't get to see all of that, because I don't show it anymore, but it's been happening.

With this last shit that happened, I made only a few responses, and 1 of those was to immediately disengage with the person when they seemed upset, and I wasn't even the main person speaking with them- and yet my name was still the one in everyone's mouth, I was the one put on everyone's dashes, the one lied about and then subjected to white supremacist rhetoric. My childhood abuse was brought up like some quirky throwaway comment, for no justifiable reason. No one else was mentioned. Despite me barely being involved. Why? If you ever take a moment to notice, it's always the same people doing this. Because they constantly watch me/stalk my blog for some reason I can't comprehend. And analyze anything I've ever said, comment on my every move. In "private" and publicly. Even though I've blocked them, they continue to do this over and over again. One of the people that started this recent thing about me? I blocked them a while ago for trying to coax me into an argument and cursing at someone else in my replies. One of the others blocked me just for unfollowing them, and has been angry ever since. Another has been emotionally invested in my every move for about a year despite me barely knowing anything about them besides their username. They have an axe to grind, I suppose. I truly can't comprehend their motivations.

But sadly, whether I comment or not, whether I try to be positive or not, it honestly doesn't matter at this point. And I don't think it's right for me to just... never be able to comment anything of my own opinion on my own blog. So I'm still working out how I need to proceed with this. It isn't fair for me to have to be afraid of it something I said is going to be twisted and misconstrued- but going out of my way to comment on every issue we have here wouldn't be good either, just like you're saying now. Hell, that's never something I wanted to do- y'all didn't see any of the actual hundreds of asks in my inbox about drama and people here that I've just ignored or deleted, after all. My inbox is going on 500 deep because people still send me these things. I even still get criticism for not "using my platform" to address issues here. But like I said in November, I don't want to be that type of blog. I don't want to focus on negativity all the time. It's a freaking simblr and I wanna play sims! But I'm still a person, and this is my blog. I should be allowed to have emotions and to speak sometimes. The problem is balancing what should be posted and what shouldn't- that is something I'm working on.

As far as mental health goes, I don't think anyone here knows how absolutely crushing it is to not only be a target for the usual suspects (racists, transphobes, etc- I can deal with those, they're expected) but then also be attacked by people I considered reasonable, normal. For those people even to side with bigots just to attempt to "one up" me for some strange ego fueled reason. The people that have said I'm not even a bad person in their eyes, just annoying to them. Yet they throw such hatred and contempt my way, wish for my "downfall", and for what? A few more likes on their hateful text post? To feel better than me, better than people like me? To win some imaginary high school game they never could in real life? I know even this post you're reading now will be screenshotted and posted in a server or two, and someone will send me the proof within a day or so. Even if you do it in "private", I still see it- maybe especially if you think it won't get back to me, it will. Nothing on the internet is private. But I don't even share the proof, I just look at it and think, why? If you don't even think I'm that bad, then why? Why are you stalking my blog and making fun of me and calling me out of name? Do you honestly feel good about what you're doing? Does it make you feel satisfied somehow? How do you justify it? Is it just because I'm not your friend? Or is it really because I've simply disagreed with you in the past? Is that worth the resentment you're holding in your heart and then putting out into the world? It's not even hurtful to me, it's just confusing at this point. I don't understand it. I can't comprehend it. And that's one of the most influential reasons I don't comment on many things here anymore; I just don't understand simblr. Other than the fact that it's a social game parading as a moral one. And perhaps I'm bad at navigating it because of that.

But I guess what I'm saying ultimately is, no, I'm not invested in every drama here. And you're right in saying I shouldn't be, I agree wholeheartedly. But sometimes it feels like it doesn't matter, it'll come to me anyway. Like if maybe someone else said the exact same thing I did, they wouldn't get the same reaction, because they're not me. I'm aware of it now, and I'm honestly not sure if it'll ever stop, unless the people doing it move on. Until then... I suppose I've decided to just not care, to do and say what I want as long as it isn't harming my own mental health or happiness. I'll play the sims, I'll have my opinions, I'll post them. And just see how I feel, I guess.

[umbane]

she looks upon kayn's face plastered to posters and billboards across the city and presses her lips together in a thin frown as a chilling ache creeps into her chest. for years, morgana has dreamed of ways to rebuild a bridge long since burned under a deluge of gasoline and undying flames that, perhaps for a moment, waned but never ceased. so many unhealed wounds that haven't yet had a chance to scab over into fading scars... just when does it end?

morgana realizes she never trade numbers with kayn again, and a part of her withers and wilts until she remembers the one saving grace: instagram. it took a moment, but she finally found his profile. she battled with herself for the entire ride back to her home, tapping away message after message only to delete everything all over again. she stumbled into her home and collapsed on the sofa, sighing dejectedly before giving in to the final draft.

Kayn. I mean it. I really hate the way we left things. I tried reaching out, over and over, but you must've blocked my number, or something. Whatever. That's neither here nor there anymore. Come over so we can talk. Just us. No crazy party, none of the guys. Just you and me.

she wants all of them to bury the hatchet, but she doesn't want to risk arguments and screaming matches if the entirety of eclipse showed up. she isn't risking it. not now.

HEARTSTEEL is big. More than big, it's everywhere. All their names in one place made a bigger splash (in his opinion) than True Damage ever could, even with Akali in their ranks. It's as exhilarating as it is terrifying, because Kayn knows what it feels like to fall from great heights, and he's never been to a height like this before.

And on his heels, always, always, always, is the fear of failure. The monsters of his past. The memory of them.

He remembers this excitement from ECLIPSE. He remembers when they started getting big, when they sold out for the first time, when it felt like it was all finally coming together.

And he remembers how it felt to lose all that, too. That's the part that makes him scared to grab his success, lest it burn him again.

Kayn's notifications have always been full, ever since he swore not to look at them any more after waking up on Zed's couch with the worst hangover in his life, too many hours after spiralling down through the messages and comments on his account — he's toxic, he's washed up, his music was never that good anyway, ECLIPSE is better off without him — it was all too damn much.

But he's started again recently, and it's not all bad. The haters get lost between the diehards — I KNEW Kayn would make a comeback soon — and new fans — tell me how i just learned about him TODAY? — so they don't sting so much.

Until they do.

Her name appears on his screen and Kayn stops his scrolling, black-painted thumb hovering midair as his chest squeezes, tight with anxiety he thought he killed off years ago. He sees the preview — Kayn, I mean it. I really hate ... — and all he can think of is all the things she must hate — his behaviour, his success, him. But he touches the message anyways, opens it up, reads it once, then again.

It does nothing to help his fucking anxiety.

Why does Morgana want to talk, after all this time? What could they possibly have to say to each other that hasn't been screamed across the room already? That hasn't been spat out in the times they've encountered each other since then? That hasn't been posted online before Kayn deleted every sign he ever lived?

He types out something angry — it starts out with WHY? and spirals out of control before he deletes it all. He takes a walk and leaves his phone behind, spinning his tires on all the things he wants to say, all the ways their conversation could go. He comes home. He has a shot of vodka — just one — and a smoke, then settles on the shortest message he can, giving himself no runway to lose control again.

WHEN?

[jammytriestowrite]

Unsent letter

I was scrolling through my drafts on my personal email and stumbled upon this unsent letter I meant to send 3 years ago. This was for a previous co-worker who I unintentionally fell in love with but of course, he didn't reciprocate those feelings. I completely forgot about him but It surprised me to think that I'd been hurt like this before, it made me realize if I actually learned something from this mistake and If I ever heal from this trauma for the past 3 years. Because this still happened to me now. I'm starting to evaluate all my life choices and how to stop this pattern of saving other people while they were breaking me. I started asking myself why does it keep happening to me and what I ever did wrong to deserve this pain.

July 2020

Marrion,

So I think that's it. Pero nagemail talaga ako kasi marami akong gustong sabihin. Pagbigyan mo na ko, bawi mo na to sa panggoghost mo hahaha na akala ko hindi mo gagawin kasi you know I've been there before. Yung mga last chat natin na hindi ka na nagpaparamdam, mabagal ka na magreply, and sa mga posts mo sa facebook, I knew then na iiwan mo na lang ako. Mga last 2 weeks ng June ata yun, nung napansin ko. Ang daya mo, ang unfair, ang user? Dun ko narealize na wala ka talagang plano sakin and somehow, ginamit mo lang ako to fill that void sa sarili mo when you were empty and lonely nung nagbreak kayo ni LA. Sinisisi ko rin naman yung sarili ko kasi nagpakatanga ako sayo, akala ko iba ka, and hindi talaga kita kinilala. Akala ko baka magkakaproper farewell naman ako sa taong to, pero hindi pala. Galing mo rin mang-iwan sa ere eh. Pero baka di ko rin kasi deserve yun, kasi sino ba naman ako? Hindi naman tayo.

On a positive note naman, grateful pa rin ako dahil nakilala kita. Naging masaya naman ako sa ilang months na pagkakakilala ko sayo, sa paguusap natin. I think what I like about you is you're easy to talk to, ang sawap mong ibully haha. You felt like home, parang when I'm with you, di ako nagpepretend to be someone i'm not para lang magustuhan mo. And these past few months, puro sakit na lang yung binibigay mo sakin, but still, I want you to know na sobrang thankful pa rin ako dun. You made me feel again, you gave me memories and I've never felt so alive before. Puro work lang ako dati, ngayon puro ikaw na yieeeee landee. Marami rin akong natutunan from this experience (oh alam ko iniisip mo sa experience na yan nako sayo ko lang natutunan yun ha haha), so next time I'll be wiser and I'll work on my issues and baggages muna before loving someone. So thank you, Lovescake. Yiee ngayon ko lang ulit nagamit yan, I'll miss calling you that though sometimes I think wala lang siya sayo, but it meant so much to me. Cute endearment sana but I can't use it na kasi it will always be you, and I can't have you.

Minsan iniisip ko, what if I give you enough attention that you want, what if mas naging sweet ako sayo, what if mayaman ako, what if malapit ako sayo, will you finally love me? Pero it's too late and even if I did, feel ko hindi pa rin enough kasi hindi naman talaga ako yung gusto mo. I hope the girl you're pursuing now (or girlfriend mo na siya ngayon), won't break your heart and sana wag mo rin siyang lokohin. I hope she makes you happy and you make her happy, yung tipong mapapa-sana all ako sa inyo haha. Galingan mo sa work ha. MagPPIC na yann. Wag mo i-disappoint si Sir Jun and Ma'am Janet like what I did now, sobrang malaki bilib nila sayo. Sobrang proud din ako sa big improvement mo sa work, parang hindi naghuhung yan minsan eh?? haha. Huy joke lang yun, if ever I offended you because sa ganung pangaasar ko, sorry. But know this, I'll always be proud of you. Magaling ka, don't forget that. When we meet again, sure ako Architect ka na. Advance Congratulations, lovescake!

PS: Sorry kung mahaba, marami pa talaga akong gustong sabihin kaso inisiip ko babasahin mo ba lahat? There's a 99% chance nga na hindi mo to rereplyan (pero okay lang gusto ko lang talaga malaman mo yung ibang feelings ko) and ang 1% chance is magrereply ka ng "noted on this maam". dahil sa mga instructions ko haha hayst.

PPS: I don't know if I already told you this but I loved you. Or maybe I still do. I still do. Kahit galit ako, I still do. I love you, and I'm sorry, thank you for everything.

Truly Yours (yours pa rin talaga hayst),

Lovescake Judy

[obeymeluv]

QUICK! KISS ME! [Bros x Reader]

A lead-up blurb before I go to bed.

School is killing me. This has been in the drafts far longer than I wanted.

No offense if your name is Bethany. It’s a name I picked at random.

The follow-up piece will have the kiss scenarios.

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Some of Asmo’s friends may have used you to get into a special makeup event, but it’s okay! They bought you a lip gloss as a thank you! The shade ‘Sealed with a Kiss’ was not what you thought it’d be

△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽△▽

Being one of the first humans in the Devildom could be uncomfortable and sometimes down-right dangerous! It also had its perks. To you, that meant being close with the Seven Lords of Hell (and Diavolo). To other lesser demons and classmates, you were kind of a ‘get out of jail’ free card.

Were they late to class? Oh, just helping the human out!

Caught sneaking in food or drink when they weren’t supposed to? It’s to split with the human, of course! They thought you’d love to try it!

Everyone was keen not to overuse it and you’d actually made good friends this way. It was starting to feel less like an excuse and more of a way to be included. You were the friendly, reliable human that had won hearts and saved some asses. As a thank you, one of your closer friends (a repeat offender for lateness), invited you out to an exclusive makeup release. She was a VIP member and had early access an hour before the store opened to the Devildom public. 

The fact that she chose you, a human, over some LITERAL century-old friends caused a bit of tension but she could care less. “I’ve seen them every day for over a hundred years. You get one year, and we’re going to make it awesome!” Bethany breezed through the store at a dizzying pace, picking through concealers and opening a box of mascara to look at the packaging. She moved at a pace only demons could manage; you thought you saw her by the nail polish display but when you looked again she was throwing sheet masks in her basket. Hooking her arm with yours, she picked up some foundation on the way back to the coveted display of lip glosses and lipsticks.

You weren’t totally versed in the differences between Devildom makeup and human world makeup. In all honesty, there didn’t seem to be a difference. Bethany swatched powdery cream lipsticks on her wrist and followed with ribbons of liquid lipstick. Every now and then she dotted them on your arm; she was adamant about finding a shade the both of you could wear as your thing.  

“This one,” she decided, waving the tube at you and booping your nose with it carefully. “This is our color!” she took you by the hand and joined the checkout line. She had two in her hand but refused to let you so much as hold one, wanting to pay for it first. It wasn’t technically breaking the purchase limit rule; if they tried to nag her she’d just say she was holding onto it so another demon didn’t bully you out of it. You didn’t know if it was her VIP status or the fact that her defense made sense, but you were able to check out without a problem.

A few sour faces and mean glares met you outside but Bethany ignored it all, eager to have a Devilgram-worthy celebratory snack break (snack victory? You know, since you got the makeup?) The plan was to eat, hold down a table at the nearby cafe while her other friends shopped, and have group makeovers (or try-ons) before calling it a day. That plan was interrupted three bites into a croissant sandwich when Lucifer summoned you back to the House of Lamentation. He’d gotten wind of all the girls you’d be with and didn’t feel totally comfortable letting you hang out with them,

Had Barbatos seen something? Did Lucifer feel spurned that you weren’t hanging out with the Seven Lords of the Devildom? He gave no answer, simply asking you to stay put while someone came to escort you back to the house. Bethany was put off by the turn of events but few people dared to complain about the Seven Lords due to their connections with Diavolo (she was no exception). “If we can’t get the full makeover, we’re getting the selfie!” she declared, deftly breaking the seal to her Sealed with a Kiss gloss and swiping it on with help from the front-facing camera on her D.D.D

You busied yourself with opening your tube. Before you could ask for her phone (since the camera was already open), she took the tube from you and tilted your chin up. She dabbed the center of your lips playfully before carefully tracing your lips with the color. The heat rose in your cheeks and she smirked. Being part succubus, she could draw energy from emotions like embarrassment and the feeling of being flattered. Her fingertips pulsed under your chin as she drew on that energy. 

Getting energy sucked could feel like a lot of things -- being light-headed, getting a rush of excitement, all prickly and tingly like your whole body was pins and needles. Whatever it was, it usually faded into drowsiness and kittenish contentment. She probably only touched your chin for seconds but the wash of coziness had you melting against your chair, your cheek cradled in her palm. 

Did she take the pic? What was happening? It felt like Asmodeus had materialized out of thin air, helping you stand and making small-talk with Bethany before pulling you away, out of her aura that was trying to suckle the vestiges of happy energy you offered.

“And what shade did you get on those pretty lips, hm?” the cotton fell out of your head and ears, allowing you to really hear Asmo now that the aura effects had worn off.

“Uh,” you fished around in your bag and looked at the packaging. “Sealed with a Kiss.”

Asmodeus stopped so abruptly it’d almost yanked you back to him. The two of you were barely tangled at the pinkies and now he’d completely laced your hands together. He held your hands captive, drawing them up in surprise and basically dragging you into his torso. You were forced to look up into glittering pink eyes and if you didn’t know any better, they looked a little panicked.

“How long ago did you apply it?”

“I don’t know.” you blinked helplessly at him. That energy suck thing had a way of making your brain tune out and turn to pudding. That aside, who knows how long Asmo stood there and talked to Bethany while you were being siphoned?! “Bethany applied it, not me.”

Asmo clicked his tongue, huffed, resigned himself to only holding one hand. and started scrolling on his D.D.D to find that selfie Bethany posted. You were being dragged along like a child as Asmo’s shoes clicked towards the House of Lamentation. It amazed you how well he could navigate his D.D.D with his long, painted nails. 

Whatever he was looking for, he found it.

Asmodeus tucked his D.D.D into his pants pocket, scooped you up in a way that terrified and amazed you (two people being supported by one set of heels?), and flew to the House of Lamentation. He didn’t always use his wings, as he preferred to decorate them and maintain them with oils, but the fact that he was flying made you nervous.

What had he found? What was the deal?

“Asmo--” you started nervously, the flapping of his wings nearly drowning you out as he pushed himself. Flying against the wind didn’t help. Your hair was a mess and the wind was in your face; the Devildom was always a little chilly but now it was enough to make your face tingly.

“She gave you enchanted makeup. There is a reason humans don’t use enchanted makeup.” Asmo’s pretty brows furrowed as he cut a hard angle and glided over a portion of the square. The tell-tale thicket of trees that lined the winding path back to the House of Lamentation were on the edge of the horizon.

“What’s going to happen?” should you ask that? Did you really want to know?

“You’ll feel something in your lips--some people felt tingling, some people felt pulsing, it can be anything, I think--and then they’ll seal shut.”

“SHUT?!” you yelped. It was enough to make Asmo wince. The startle carried over to his wings; they shuddered and locked; the two of you dropped for a heartbeat or two before he corrected himself.

“If I can’t get some makeup remover on it first.” Asmo panted, tucking his wings in and preparing for a quick descent. He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t thought to teleport first--the panic? Trying to one-up Bethany by walking home and being extra cute with hand-holding?--but a quick touch down could roll into a simple skip teleportation and everything should work out!

“But my lips are already tingly!”

“Ugh, Bethany! I can’t believe you! I mean, I can because it’s you, but really, Bethany?”

“Asmo, focus!” you’d already skipped several feet ahead, clearing the front yard in two teleports. The third put you in the foyer. “I don’t want my lips to seal shut!”

The House of Lamentation was huge but when the occupants had supernatural hearing, that exclamation turned heads. 

“What’s this about your lips sealing shut?” Lucifer appeared at the top of his stairs, his head already shaking.

“DID YOU MAKE A PACT WITH A WITCH?!” Mammon screamed down the hall, clearly not far behind.

Asmo scoffed, lowering his D.D.D with a pout. He was halfway up the main stairs, fingers working at lightning speed. “It’s the lip color!” he explained, stomping his foot. Noisy people were just so annoying! If everyone was talking he couldn’t explain! How rude! 

“All this over some makeup?” skeptical Satan peered over the banister, book and arm casually propped up on it.

“If two people apply the color and kiss, they’re locked in a makeout session until it dries down. When one person applies the lip color, they can use it like a cheat sheet to see who secretly wants to kiss them,” his words tapered out from authoritatively informed to quiet and shy. “It’s from their ‘Liquid Love’ collection.” he muttered into the stunned silence of the room.

You were trying to open your lips and ask why. The magic had already taken hold. Asmodeus could see you trying to move your lips and strain your chin. Luckily, demons could read minds. “It’s because Bethany is stupid.” Asmodeus rolled his eyes. “Ambitious, but stupid.”

“Please explain, Asmo.” even when using the dear nickname Lucifer couldn’t hide the demand. His demon aura was creeping up his body and slowly becoming jagged and suffocating.

“Bethany has had a HUGE crush on our little human here, and wanted to seal it with a kiss, so to speak.” Asmo’s cheeks got pinker and pinker as he explained. Mostly because he was mad he didn’t think about it. His heart did something funny at the thought of you kissing someone else. Lucifer also looked like he wanted to murder someone about now, and Asmo had to remind himself that he was being looked through, not looked at.   

“Just grab a napkin and wipe it off.” Mammon shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Asmodeus shook his head angrily. “It’s too late now. We need to find someone for them to kiss! Someone’s lips will break the seal on theirs...that’s kind of the point of the enchantment.”

“So they just pick someone to kiss?” Levi’s face was turning tomato red. Would it be him?! It would at least be one of them, right? What if your person wasn’t in the House of Lamentation and you NEVER SPOKE AGAIN?!

“Sort of.” Asmo patted your shoulders with his gentle, smooth hands. He started to rub them like he was trying to warm you up. Partly in encouragement and partly to get your attention because he could feel your brain spiraling down into panic. “They basically follow their mouth.”

“So that lip color is like a crush detector?” Satan abandoned his book at the top of the stairs and was now perusing articles on his D.D.D as he sauntered down the steps. It sounded like he’d found the one that sent Asmo flying to the House of Lamentation.

“Basically.” Asmo sighed. It was the stupidest way to confess to someone, he thought. Demon to demon, it was fine. Demon to human?! NO! The whole thing gave him a headache. The fact that Bethany thought she could just steal your little lips and be greedy with them was the biggest annoyance of it all.

“So,” Satan’s green eyes cut sharply from his phone to you. The corner of his lips curled up in a smart little smirk. He knew it was wrong to find your predicament so funny, but this was a very human thing to get mixed up in. “Who do your lips want? Who do you feel yourself being drawn to?”

[voidix]

Julian Konzern: The Chained Prince

I was scrolling through my drafts some time ago and found a post from years ago where someone wished that the Andromeda constellation would’ve been chosen for a beyblade and that it could’ve gone to Sophie to imply/foreshadow a relationship with Julian whose beyblade is Perseus (Deatroyer).

And while I do wish that Andromeda would have been a beyblade in the series (thankfully there are OCs hehe) I don’t think it would work for Julian and Sophie in the way that person described

Let’s look at the myth for a second.. In Greek Andromeda was a princess and she was known to be very beautiful. Her mother Cassiopeia (which is also a constellation btw) boasted about that she claimed her daughter was even more beautiful than any see nymph. And like we all know the Greek gods take these things personal. So Poseidon sent a Sea Monster to devastate their kingdom and the only way to save the kingdom was to sacrifice Andromeda so she was chained to a rock fated to be killed by the monster. The sea monster btw was called Cetus (yes like Sophie and Wales’ beyblades but that’s a discussion for another day)

I promise you guys this is important to my analysis

Anyway so then we have our guy Perseus who was flying around in the region and saw this beautiful princess tied to a rock and fell in love. So he killed the sea monster with his magical flying horse Pegasus (yes the meta possibilities are endless with this one) and they got married.

The reason I’m saying all this is because if it wasn’t clear already. I think the person in the anime who has the most obvious parallels to Andromeda is none other than Julian Konzern.

Let’s take a look shall we?

Both are born into fortune. She’s a princess and Julian is the son of like the richest people in Europe or something.

In both cases their families weren’t careful and ended up in trouble with a higher power be it pissing off the gods or Hades Inc (although after looking at metal fury you could argue that’s the same thing sorta)

The only way to save their fortune/kingdom was for them to be sacrificed. Andromeda was chained to a rock waiting for the sea monster to kill her and Julian was metaphorically chained to a rock and forced to work for Ziggurat or else.

See where I’m going with this?

But it doesn’t end here actually because I do think that Sophie has some parallels to Perseus as well. Like for example? The fact that when push comes to shove her and Wales do everything in their power to protect Julian.

A prime example of this is when Tsubasa shows up and challenges him. They don’t get a chance to fight however because

Sophie and Wales don’t hesitate to protect Julian and stand in the way of danger in order for him to be safe.

Even when they felt betrayed by him it was still pretty clear that they cared about him.

So in conclusion if anyone is Andromeda it’s Julian and not Sophie. She would be Perseus in that case.

[djarrex]

From Where We Stand

Post-Stasis!Kix x f!OC

Hi there! As some of you know, I've been stuck in the midst of a too-long writing rut. I've been wanting to write this series for a LONG time, and have pretty much the entire first chapter saved in my drafts - had to scroll pretty far to find it since I started it like 6 months ago. ANYWAYS. Once I'm ready to post the first chapter I will create a series ML, complete with this banner and a series summary. Honestly, I'm posting this as motivation for me to actually go through with this. (y'all can hold me accountable lmao).

As for my Post-Order 66 Rex series, I'm going to put that on a little hiatus for a while until I can figure out what I wanna do with this Post-Stasis!Kix series. I will still answer asks regarding Rex Gayiyla & Fam, and if something hits me, I'll work on some things for that. I still have a lot planned for the Gayiyla family, don't you worry! :')

So.

My OC, Ahri, is a member of the Crimson Corsair's pirate crew. They find our poor, beloved Kix frozen in a cryo pod within an old, grounded Separatist ship, and they decide to make the Clone Wars-era soldier a part of their merry crew. I'm planning on making this a slow burn series with some action, angst, clone feels, and other things tbd. I'll have a better series summary when it comes time to post the first chapter.

With that being said, here's a little snippet from the intro scene in first chapter that will be titled "Fool's Gold". (ty to Ro for that big brain <3. Titles/banner/details are subject to change).

Rated: M for language, but the series as a whole will be rated back and forth between M and E as it goes on.

“Hey, come listen to this,” the triangular-headed Arcona still sitting by his lonesome at the bar calls over his shoulder to the rest of his crew. Ahri drops her legs from the table to the ground, her boots hitting the stone floor with a thud as she signals a round-up at the two playing sabacc. Only when all members of the crew have made their way to the bar does Reeg continue.

SERIES MASTERLIST

<<<>>>

“This ol’ thing just picked up a transmission, dating back fifty years.”

The Gabdorin first-mate opens his wide mouth first. “Well? What’s it sayin’, Reeg?”

“It’s being relayed from something that goes by ‘B1-CC14′? It’s a distress signal coming from a cruiser called the Obrexta III.”

The old man wiping the counter with an extremely dirty rag halts and meanders over to where the group’s gathered at the bar, leaning in close after scanning each of their very different faces. The feisty red Twi’lek member glared at him, about to ask him what his problem is, but he interjects with a gummy grin.

“I’ve heard that name before... that cruiser.” All eyes turn to the old bartender as he rubs his skinny, wrinkly fingers against his thumb, signaling the need of some sort of payment for the following information he has to offer. With a roll of her eyes, Ahri tosses a few credits across the counter, reassuringly placing her hand on Sidon’s cloaked shoulder as they all lean in close when the old man starts to open his mouth.

“Heard it crashed here way back at the end of the Clone Wars... somethin’ about containin’ the lost treasure of one of the political heads of the time. Dooku, I think’s the name.”

Treasure.

That’s the one word a group of pirates needs to hear.

A few pairs of eyes light up upon hearing the magic word, but the more cautions among them simply raise their brows - incredulous. Quiggold shakes his cloaked and rounded head ever so slightly as a sign to take caution - the captain nodding in agreement at his first-mate.

“How many have you told of this cruiser and treasure?” Quiggold inquires at the hunched-back bartender, stepping closer and leaning over the counter.

The old man is quick to reply with a sly smile, “If they’re willin’ to pay for the information, it’s theirs.”

“Captain.” Ahri pulls the crew’s leader to the side before whispering so only he can hear, “We can’t be the only ones to know about this wreckage. It’s been what, five decades since it crashed here on Ponemah? I’m sure hundreds upon hundreds have tried to find the treasure, so who knows if it’s even still there?" She pauses - her eyes flickering to the few pairs of prying eyes coming from the other end of the cantina. "There’s those giant sand worms out there, too, not to mention the difficult terrain. I think it’s too risky, Sid.” Ahri peers over to her other crewmates who seem to be preoccupied with yapping with the bartender, save for Pen, who's now strutting over to the two of them.

“Captain, I think we should go for it. Bartender just said there’s kyber crystals on board, and maybe even a lightsaber. The cruiser belonged to a sith lord, sir. You know how much we can get on the black market for those crystals?”

Ahri not-so-discretely scoffs and shakes her head, narrowing her eyes at the overly-eager Ishi Tib.

“The wreckage has been there since the end of the Clone Wars, Pen. Who’s to say the crystals haven’t already been scooped up?” Her eyes land on the captain once again, “Sid...it’s your call. I know we can handle anything that comes our way... I just think the journey itself is far too dangerous for the slim chance that there’s actually something worth while within that dated wreckage.”

It’s silent between the three for a long moment; it’s difficult for anyone else to read Sidon’s expression since it is always hidden underneath the mask, but Ahri knows him well enough now to know almost exactly what he’s thinking. Captain Sidon Ithano is a man of very few words; he relies heavily on his crewmates to translate his thoughts and anticipate his desires, but will speak if absolutely needed. Ahri can read Sidon like an ancient text scribbled on some flimsi, more so than the rest of the crew, but probably ties with their first-mate.

With a disappointed sigh, she shakes her head, already knowing his answer. Sidon finally nods, and Pen claps his hands excitedly - the rest of the crew cheering under their breaths once they catch sight of the exuberant Ishi Tib making his way back to them.

“Fine,” she mumbles, heading back over to the others behind the captain. Kicking the ground and tossing the old man behind the bar another couple of credits, she sighs again. “Alright, barkeep. Where’s this wreckage?”

“Southern Region. S’all I know.”

This time, Ahri laughs. “Let me guess, in the middle of the fucking Sea of Sand, right?” The bartender tugs his thin lips into a creepy smile, nodding with an amused huff. The defeated redhead turns back to her crewmates, speaking to the captain in particular. “Can’t even get there flying the Martinet. We’ll need a sail barge to get there.”

The Sea of Sand - quite appropriately named - is plagued by lightning storms, magma geysers, and 15-meter waves of caustic sand that act as Ponemah’s sea. Even the crew’s ship, the Meson Martinet, a heavily modified CSS-1 Corellian Star Shuttle, is no match for that terrain.

And the crew knows this.

Sidon nods before turning his attention back towards the old man who had resumed wiping the bar, clearly satisfied with the amount of credits he’d acquired just from entertaining a group of desperate pirates.

“A sail barge.”

The deeply modulated voice coming from the captain always makes Ahri shudder - but not from fear.

<<<>>>

tagging some pals who may be interested?

@rowansparrow @thefact0rygirl @damerondala @ashotofspotchka @rebelpitstop

anyone else?

[kobithedragon]

How do you find all those posts w like 2 notes from 2012? I really like it btw. Cool blog

hi anon !! Thanks for getting in touch, and for the kind words(◕‿◕✿)

Basically the way I use tumblr is kinda weird. So unlike probably 99.9% of users , I'm never on the dashboard. I usually have a bunch of blogs saved, which I try and scroll through the entirety of. This means that a lot of the posts I'm being exposed to are from early on, and so I find more blogs that maybe stopped posting a while ago, and that just carries on and on until I find niche blogs from years ago that maybe only one person ever reblogged anything from. Sometimes, nobody has even touched the blog.

Now first let me explain how I find these blogs. So as well as never using the dashboard, I also never use any sort of algorithm. Every blog I've ever found (they're probably in the thousands now) I've found by visiting the via and source of a post I found interesting. If there's no via or source and it has barely any notes, I'd check out the blogs in the notes. Now it's tempting to check every blog in the notes, or every blog in the via chain - just in case you don't miss any blog out. But this can be tedious. I suggest sticking to just checking out a couple of different blogs from each cool post you find.

Now, how do I go all the way back through a blog without using tumblr's inbuilt archive feature (because it's horrible)? I use 3rd party tumblr viewers. My favourites are multitab Tumblr for iOS when I'm on the go, and the tumblr collage Google Chrome extension. I use the latter by simply dragging the image to another window, because it hasn't been updated in the best part of a decade and functionality is severely reduced. I then save all the tabs of posts I've dragged across as bookmarks and revisit them after a while to like them all and fast draft from my likes feed view - use xkit chrome extension for the fast draft feature on desktop. But multitab Tumblr on the other hand, that's always getting updates to this day, and has so so so many wonderful features. So you're way better off using that if you're on iOS or MacOS.

Then I like to queue all the posts I've added to drafts from desktop or multitab Tumblr, and set my queue to output a post every 6 minutes. This makes it so 240 posts get outputted every day, only 10 less than the post limit. I also shuffle my queue a lot.

Anyway I hope that helps answer your question:) hit me up if you'd like to know more.

[kindahoping4forever]

Watch Me Bloom: A Few Weeks Ago // Ashton Irwin

Thanks to everyone who read, shared and/or sent a kind word about A Few Months Ago. I’ve never divided up a fic like this before so it’s been both exciting and nerve-wracking, but I’m so pleased to see the response! 

The concept for this section came about early on but I revised and retooled it a lot so again, many thank yous to @cal-puddies​​ for the constant (and I mean constant) encouragement, reassurance and support that I require when writing, I know I was especially needy about this one. 😂 Also shout out to @ashtonangst​​ for the last minute notes and vote of confidence on the final revision.

No thanks to Ashton Irwin for distracting me, stealing my thunder and generally being a Gremlin TWICE IN ONE DAY. He’s the worst and I love him 😌

Warnings: Boyfriend!Ash featuring the slightest hint of angst, unprotected sex within an established relationship, shower sex, mirror sex, playful spanking, wow there’s really not a graceful euphemism for tit fucking is there? Well there’s elements of that as well as oral sex performed on a male and brief cum play. But like. All in a soft, fluffy context lmao

Word Count: 3390

Watch Me Bloom Masterlist

Masterlist // Taglist // Ko-Fi

Let  me  know  what  you  think!

You exhale loudly as you shut your laptop and reach for your phone. You’d arranged to take the morning off, wanting to be with Ashton when news of his album broke online, to watch the chaos unfold, to enjoy seeing him take in all the love and excitement you knew he deserved.

You were grateful to be working from home but it’s often difficult to get away and unfortunately, you woke up to calls about a work emergency, resulting in an unavoidable Zoom meeting that dominated your morning. Ash was understanding but you couldn’t help how disappointed you were.

You scroll through the messages from him, smiling at the liberal use of exclamation points and bizarre choice of emojis used to convey his excitement about the screenshots and links he’d sent you. He’s already getting press and the fans are losing their minds at every new piece of information. You’re thrilled for him but can’t shake how defeated you feel that you weren’t able to be there to experience it all firsthand.

You consider heading downstairs to check in but you note he’s probably getting ready to post his official announcement by now. Not wanting to disturb him, you instead decide to head for the bathroom, thinking a hot shower might improve your mood. You stop to answer one last text, reassuring him that (save for the spelling errors you corrected), the draft of his post is excellent and the fans will be ecstatic to hear him confirm the news.

You step under the rainfall shower head and stand still, letting the hot water run over your body, feeling your shoulders drop and your muscles relax. You close your eyes, enjoying the chance to shut off your brain after a morning of feeling so many varied emotions.

After a few minutes, you begin your routine and you’ve just finished with your body scrub when you hear footsteps shuffling through the doorway; you turn to see Ashton observing you through the glass shower walls. “Well, hi,” he greets you, tone flirty as his gaze flickers up and down your wet, naked body.

You can’t help but feel your mood brighten at his presence. “Hi,” you match his inflection, laughing. “All posted? Officially in business?”

Even through the slight steam you can see the pride on his face. “Officially,” he beams.

“Excellent,” you smile back. You turn away momentarily to return the sprayer to its mount and chuckle when you hear the shower door. Within seconds, Ash is naked behind you, slinking his arms around your waist and fitting his face into the crook of your neck, swaying with you as he presses quick kisses into your neck. .

“Just announced your very own album and yet you’re still gonna act like finding your girlfriend in the shower is the most exciting thing to happen to you today?” You tease, leaning back against him.

He laughs as he sucks your earlobe into his mouth. “Even in the big moments, gotta take the time to appreciate the everyday ones,” he murmurs, biting gently.

You squeeze his hands as they rest on your hips. “Well, speaking of big moments, I still feel bad that I missed out on this morning, Ash,” you softly admit.

"Baby, it couldn’t be helped," he says nonchalantly, sweetly kissing your cheek before spinning you around to face him.

You’re not quite ready to meet his eyes, so you play with the chain around his neck as you choose your words. “I know, but… you’ve really made an effort with some of the stuff we talked about, like coming to bed with me or having dinner together. So I kind of feel like I’m not showing you the same courtesy - and for something so much more monumental,” you point out.

“Sweetheart, your work isn’t any less important than mine,” he frowns, brushing your wet hair off your face. “I know you wanted to be there and that means a lot, I don’t feel slighted at all, I promise.”

Ashton cups your face and kisses you sincerely. When you pull away, you rest your head on his shoulder; he pecks the top of your head and then reaches for the shampoo. You smile to yourself as you feel him begin to apply it to your hair. He gently taps you and you loudly smooch his shoulder before lifting your head and turning your back to him once again. He works the shampoo into a lather, applying just the right amount of pressure with his fingertips to give you a relaxing scalp massage.

There’s a cozy tranquility in the air as he grabs the handheld sprayer and rinses your hair out, cutely shielding your eyes when he comes close to your face, having learned from past showers gone wrong. Next he applies your conditioner and while it sets, you have him lean closer to you so you can wash his hair. It’s the longest and curliest it’s been since you’ve known him and you truly can’t get enough of it.

You can hear the smile in his voice when he breaks the silence to say, “You know, it’s pretty sexy that you’re so good at your job the whole company was ready to fall apart just because you wanted the morning off."

“Yes, that’s exactly what happened. I’m so glad you’re not threatened by my #GirlBoss nature,” you giggle. You scratch your nails over his scalp as you finish lathering his hair and the resulting groan has you absentmindedly biting your lip.

“Never! Plus it means less work for me,” he jokes, yelping as you tug on his hair in response.

You finish up with each other’s hair, chatting and joking easily. When you’re done, you burrow into his chest again and he hugs you tight against him. “You OK, love?” He asks.

“Yeah, just enjoying being close to you on your special day,” you answer softly, smiling as you trace the trail of water droplets running down his chest. “Wanna have something for us to remember it by, this is a nice start. Maybe I’ll order us something good for lunch, set up a fancy backyard picnic.” You lightly kiss along his collarbones as you think out loud.

Ash smiles, running his hands up and down your sides. “Sounds nice… we could also make a few memories in here.” He wiggles his eyebrows as his hands detour to grab your ass and pull you closer to him. “Feel like celebratin’, baby?”

You grin. “Ah, in a year where you’ve already gotten ‘new album sex’ and Jesus, how many rounds of ‘new single sex,’ you’re still playing that card?” You tease, voice wavering because his hands have wandered to your breasts to roll your nipples just the way you like. “Seems pretty greedy to me.”

He responds with a low, smug laugh in your ear, "Can't help it if I'm prolific, sweetheart.”  

“Well, I am happy to see you so frequently inspired," you tease, hand dropping to give his cock a firm squeeze as you proudly bat your eyes at your innuendo.

He smiles, pulling you in; it'd be sweet if there wasn’t such a devilish look in his eye. He gives you a lengthy and lusty kiss, hands roaming over your body, groaning as you work him to hardness. “Feeling pretty inspired to take you like this.”

He’s barely finished his sentence when he turns you around towards the shower door. You give a satisfied hum as you put your hands out to brace yourself and instinctively spread for him. “Aww, that’s my good girl,” he purrs. You shiver as he traces his fingertips all the way down your spine, starting at your neck and working his way down; once he reaches your ass, he uses both hands to cup it, squeezing and massaging.

You sigh and arch your back, jutting your hips out, wanting him to continue; a loud open palm smack lands across one of your ass cheeks and though you expected it, a half-gasp, half-moan escapes your lips.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, cock brushing against you. “Thought I was the greedy one here,” he teases, delivering a strike to your untouched cheek, followed by a pair of rough slaps to each side. Your whines reverberate through the bathroom while his mouth lavishes kisses along your shoulders, hands soothing the reddened skin of your backside.

His hands wander between your legs but you stop him, murmuring, “Don’t need it, want you enough already.”

Ash sweetly kisses behind your ear before pushing inside you at an agonizingly slow pace. When he's made it all the way in, without thinking, you breathe out, “Yes, finally,” which earns you another quick spank. You giggle, catching sight of his amusingly annoyed reflection in the mirror above the counter across from you.

He playfully nips your shoulder and thrusts into you. As he picks up speed, he notices you biting back a moan. He growls, “Uh-uh, let me hear you, baby, wanna know how good my cock feels inside you.”

You rock back against him, hoping it’ll earn you another swat and when it does, you whimper loudly. “Feels so fucking good, Ash,” you enthuse. Keeping your balance against the door with one hand, you straighten up to reach behind you and pull him in; he understands, movements slowing as he kisses you hungrily. You tangle your hand in his hair, giving it a tug and he grunts into your mouth.

One of his hands travels to briskly begin rubbing your clit; the pressure is like a jolt of electricity through your body and your hand drops from his hair back to the shower door to steady yourself. “Careful, love,” he rasps, other hand pawing at your breasts.

Nuzzled into him, you stay in that position for a few moments and he moves against you, occasionally pressing his lips to your face. You catch sight of the mirror again and become fixated on watching him as he carefully works your body: the way his hands work in perfect coordination to please you, how his hair falls in his face as he drives his cock into you, how his eyes screw shut and he fusses his lip between his teeth at the sensations of having your pussy wrapped around him.

It fascinates you to see the two of you like that, so loving but also driven by what seems to be a desperate need.  “Look at that,” you pant, stroking his forearm to get his attention. “Look how well we fit together… I didn't realize it'd look as good as it feels, babe.”

Ashton groans as he studies your reflection. “What a fuckin’ gorgeous sight we are,” he agrees, voice gravelly with lust. “You always look so unbelievable when I watch you take me, baby.”

You moan at how wrecked he sounds, how wrecked you look, the eroticism of your encounter overwhelming you. “I love seeing us like this, Ash… Fuck… Wish I could actually see it, see myself taking your cock,” you babble. “Might have to finally make that tape like we’ve talked about.”

“Fuckin’ hell, baby,” he whispers, fingers digging into your skin. You spread your arms further apart on the door and he smoothly sweeps them behind you, locking them into place with his. Restrained, with nothing to brace you, your front leans completely up against the door and you watch as your tits obscenely bounce off the glass as he speeds up, pounding into you.

You start breathing heavily and he smiles to himself, knowing he’s got you figured out. “Should I be nice and let go so you can touch yourself, baby? Or would that ruin it, since me holding you like this is what’s getting you off?” He taunts, grip on your arms tightening.

“So fuckin’ close… Ash… please… fuck, please,” you murmur, unable to take your eyes off the mirror, feeling yourself slowly tense as you watch him manhandle you, seeing yourself so debauched.

Ashton shifts your arms, pinning them back with just one of his, leaving his other free to roam down the front of your body. “Because you said ‘please’,” he smirks, rubbing fast around your clit. You whimper in relief and your head starts to drop down but he nudges it with his own. “Nah, baby, watch. Want you to see how beautiful you are when you cum for me.”

“Ashhhhh… babyyyyy… fuuuucck…” Your words come out in staccato sighs as you bounce between his body and the glass; his fingers are steady on your clit and his voice lowly encourages you, telling you how amazing you are, how much he wants to feel you cum. He sounds like he needs this as much as you do. You zone out a little as you pulse around him, watching yourself orgasm through the glass, and as always, it’s his soothing whispers of “so pretty, baby” that bring you back to earth.

He gently sets your arms back on the door, pressing soft kisses over your shoulders as you come down. His hips have completely stilled, waiting to see how much more you’re capable of handling. “You good, love?” He sweetly asks, studying your face in the mirror.

"I'm so glad I had to work today," you joke breathlessly. He snorts and bites at your neck.

You feel spent but a thought popped into your head while watching your reflection and you want to explore. “Up for trying something?” You eagerly ask.

“Of course,” he agrees curiously. You push off the door, allowing him to slip out of you and you turn towards him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I know I gave you shit earlier but it really does make me happy that this is how you like to celebrate,” you start, pecking along his neck and jaw, landing at his lips, which you kiss softly. “And I just want you to know I really am so so proud of you.”

Ash’s arms wrap around your waist and he smiles brightly. “I know, baby. And I’m so grateful to have you with me. Every step of the way, you were there to take care of me.”

You kiss him harder, filthier and needier than you did before and his resulting groan tells you he’s caught off guard. You feel him shiver under your touch as you ghost over his nipples before stopping at his new rib tattoo on your way to his abs and then finally gripping his cock.

“Well, I am absolutely going to take care of you right now,” you wink, dropping to your knees in front of him. He laughs at your questionable joke but quickly sucks in a sharp breath when you begin placing wet kisses along his shaft, whimpering as you taste yourself on him. You trace your tongue along the underside of his cock and circle the head for a bit before you wrap your lips around it and gently apply suction. You hear him huff a few times as you keep your attention focused there instead of taking him further into your mouth and you smile at his impatience.

He catches your look and shoots one right back at you. “Thought you were gonna take care of me, not torture me,” he smiles.

You let him drop from your lips and firmly tug as you look up, grinning. “I have a feeling when you're cumming all over me, you'll think it was worth the wait.”

He’s only able to gasp in response because as soon as the last word of your sentence leaves your mouth, you’re taking him as far down as you can. His hands are instantly in your hair, not quite pushing you down but gently applying pressure as you stay unmoving for a beat, holding him in your mouth, enjoying the heavy feeling of his cock on your tongue. You softly move your head back and forth, easing him further towards the back of your throat before you let yourself gag around him and pull off. You repeat this process a few more times, allowing more and more spit to fall from your mouth each time; knowing he loves when you get messy with it.

“Fuck, baby, always so fuckin’ good on your knees for me, always know just what I need” Ashton rambles, provoked at the sight of you pulling back to stroke him with a long, thick string of spit still connecting your mouth to his cock. You beam at his praise while he runs his hand over your face, somehow both tenderly and aggressively. “Gonna let me cum all over those gorgeous tits?”

You lean into his touch, mouthing at his hand a little. He takes the bait like you knew he would and pushes his thumb into your mouth, watching closely as you close your lips around it, swirling and sucking before scraping your teeth on it as he pulls it out.

"Is that what you want?" You ask, looking up at him with big eyes as you sit up higher on your knees. "I can also do you one better." You bite your lip in concentration as you guide him between your breasts, using your hands to trap his cock against your body and enclose him.

You've never heard anything quite like the sound he makes when you begin rubbing your tits up and down his shaft, a sound so throaty and new it makes you clench. You continue to massage his length against your breasts, your soft skin and the novelty of the act working in tandem to get him off.

You make eye contact as you spit on his cock and you feel it twitch on your chest as he moans. This fantasy has come up before, usually via sexting while he’s on tour but neither one of you had tried to follow through until now and judging by the noises he’s making, it’s living up to the expectation. You know he’s going to go wild when you breathily encourage, "Come on, babe, I think you should fuck 'em."

Ashton doesn't need to be told twice and immediately starts thrusting vigorously. He practically growls when you flick your tongue out to catch his tip on an upstroke, so you keep doing it.

"Jesus, baaaaby…" he groans, sounding positively undone, his pace unrelenting as he ruts against you. "So hot… fuck, so good…"

You grin at his incoherence, knowing he must be close. "Thought a special day deserved a special treat," you boast. "Ready to cum for me, babe?"

Ash acknowledges your words with a grunt, pulling away from your chest and putting his cock in your mouth again. You bob your head with intent to finish him and you know he's desperate when he gets a bit aggressive, pushing you to take him further down than last time. You've had him in your throat for less than a minute before he starts breathing heavy and pulls out just in time to shoot streams of cum all over your chest.

"Yes, baby… fuuuuuck… so fuckin’ good to me," he groans rhythmically in time with each spurt. You place the head of his cock on your tongue and milk out the remaining drops, revelling in his satisfied sounds.

He looks in adoration and disbelief at you, covered in his cum, clearly pleased with your work. He helps you off your knees and moves to kiss you when you press a finger to his lips, holding him off while you drag your other hand through the mess on your tits, delivering the substance to your mouth.

"God, I love you, baby," he sighs exhaustedly, kissing you passionately, groaning into your mouth as he tastes himself on your tongue. “This is so much more memorable than you sitting on the couch reading tweets with me.”

You cackle, pulling away to clean yourself off under the spray. "Well, I love you too," you coo. “Always happy to celebrate my man.”

Ashton grins and cradles you against him. “Good to know… I’ve got some ideas for how we can celebrate the second single coming out next week.”

You giggle and turn, wanting to see his face when you reply, “You plan that and I’ll take care of the celebration for your video premiere tonight?"

He pulls you closer and smirks, “Deal.”

————-

@mymindwide​​​​ @suchalonelysunflower​​​​ @pxrxmoore​​​​ @loveroflrh​​​​ @ghostofmashton​​​​ @sexgodashton​​​​ @feliznavidaddycal​​​​​​  

@castaway-cashton​​​​ @ashtonlftv​​​ @cashtonasfuck​​​​ @megz1985​​​​ @ashdork-irwin​​​​ @angelicfluffs​​​​ @findingliam-o​​​​ @abadaftertaste​​ @youngbloodchild​​​​  @irwinsbetch​​​​ @ashsun​​ @everyscarisahealingplace​​​​

@wiildflower-xxx​​​​ @metalandboybands​​​​ @another-lonely-heart-blog​​​​ @realisticnotes​​​​  @makeamovehemmings​​​​​​ @golden166​​​​ @burstintocolor​​​​

@mfartzzz​​​​ @babyoria​​​​ @saphseoul @petunias-pet​​​​ @youngblood199456​​​​ @notinthesameguey​​​​ @seanna313​​​​​​  @zhangyixingxing1​​​​ @stardust-galaxies​​​​  @zackoid​​​​

@queenalienscherrypie @lovelybonesetc​​​​ @Obey-Kaylin @xsongxbirdx​​​​ @justhereforcalum​​​​ @calumftduke

@laura66sos​​​​ @calumrose​​​​ @karajaynetoday​​​​  @pilunb​​​​ @jazzyangel242​​​​ @babylon-corgis​​​​  @heyheyhaleyd​​​​ @calmsweetcreature​​​​

@spicycal​​​​ @talkfastromance4​​​​  @holystxne​​​​ @myloverboyash​​​

@meetmedowntown​​​​  @fedorable-killjoys​​

@irwindoll​​​​ @cheekysos​​​​​ @carrielfisher​​​​​ @lukedorkyhemmings​​​​​ @creampiecashton​​​​​ @lovelywordsblog​​​​​

@trix-arent-for-kids​​​ @uh-huhh-honey​​​ @tobefalling​​​ @aladyofalbion​​​

@likehuhdude​​​  @curlycalums​​​  @cxddlyash​​​  @reddesert-healourblues​

[anguisette90]

2021 AO3 Year In Writing

tagged by: @laurabeatrix

I definitely didn't start this weeks ago when I was tagged and then not get a chance to finish it and completely forget about it until I went to check my drafts for something else. *cough* I'm also incapable of giving short answers, so I decided to do a "read more" and save any mobile users from a ridiculous amount of scrolling to get past my nonsense.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3:

7

2. Word count posted for the year:

260,927 words (though really only around 190K of that was written in 2021, a lot of it was written in 2019 or 2020 and I only got the courage to share in 2021, haha.)

3. Fandoms I wrote for:

The Dresden Files

4. Pairings:

Harry/Murphy, Harry/Lara, & (sigh) Harry/Marcone

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: 80 Floors Up (122)

Bookmarks: 80 Floors Up (21)

Comments: All's Fair(59)

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why):

Mm. I’m really pleased with how All’s Fair turned out. It’s the first story I’ve ever fully planned out and written methodically, with the knowledge that I’d be sharing it with people and so it needed to do story-y things. This is the first thing I’ve ever written that felt like I really had to work at it, but the end result is something that I feel is actually pretty well polished.

Runner-up shout out to The Detective & Miss Murphy though. I went into it with only the vaguest idea of when the Regency era even was and having precisely zero experience with either consuming or creating Regency romance books/shows/movies. I expected it to be a total disaster, and while it definitely is not the best thing ever written or even the best thing I’ve ever written, I think it’s turned out pretty well so far. Jane Austen I am not, but since @LauraBeatrix’s original inspiration for the conversation was Bridgerton, and Julia Quinn is also definitely no Jane Austen (which I know now, because I’ve read like four or five of those books at least, so thanks for that LauraB :P) I’ll take it. I also genuinely put more time and effort into research for this fic than I did for all of my college classes combined last year (8 of them? 9? A bunch) and while I’m not exactly proud of that fact, I’m not not-proud either.

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why):

I’m tempted to say 80 Floors Up because it is the fic I have put the absolute least amount of thought or effort into – it was a silly premise that I wrote in a single weekend including editing time. But it did turn out pretty good despite being somewhat ridiculous?

I guess I Caught Fire. Every time I look at it I feel like it’s missing something, like something’s off about it, but no matter how I poke at it I’m not satisfied.

8. Share or describe a favourite review you received:

It’s been a good year for reviews. Honestly, everybody is so sweet and supportive. I started 2021 kind of on the fence about whether to continue posting things and very insecure in my own writing but people have been so nice. I have genuinely cried from comments received several times this past year.

(Not that I have a folder on my phone with screenshots of comments that I flip through when imposter syndrome gets bad or anything. I’m not desperate for validation. It’s cool.)

But my absolute favorite review? Gotta be this lovely gem from @LauraBeatrix:

9. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I hit a snag in The Detective & Miss Murphy for a bit there where I had waaaaay too much planned content to fit into waaaay too few chapters, which was super difficult to work through.

I also have had a few instances (once for All’s Fair, twice for yet-unposted WIPs) where I’ve had to dwell on That Scene from midway through Battle Ground and that’s been a very different kind of difficult.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

Harry and Murphy are constantly surprising me in The Detective & Miss Murphy because they never do quite what I expect them to do. I have whole scenes planned out and then one of them just says something out of nowhere, or does something crazy. You know what I didn’t expect at the start of writing a regency romance? That my hero and heroine would have a woman tied up in the heroine’s bedroom to get information out of her. Didn’t expect that to happen. Absolutely insane. I have no control over them.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

This bit for All’s Fair keeps sticking with me and I’m fond of it: “I remembered when she’d been mine and I’d been hers. When we’d professed our love and when we'd acted on it. I remembered when I knew with all of my heart, mind, and soul that I belonged wholly and completely to her, that I would never love anyone the way I loved her. We were made for each other, in the sense that years of shared experiences and friendship had forged us into complementary shapes, worn and scarred but familiar and comfortable, fitting perfectly together.”

12. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I have definitely gained a lot more confidence in myself. Two years ago, getting an even vaguely critical comment on something would haunt me for weeks and make me question whether or not I should continue posting. Even at the beginning of last year, I frequently questioned whether or not I should bother sharing what I wrote, if I was just being stupid and arrogant to believe that other people would want to read it, etc. I'm not saying I've magically become immune to criticism or anything, but I'm at a place where I can get a negative comment, process the feedback (if there actually is any), and move on with my life without losing sleep over it. Which is progress.

13. How do you hope to grow next year:

I want to put more of a focus on original work in 2022 than I did last year. I still expect most of what I write to be fic, but I'm starting to entertain the idea that 15 year old me might have been right after all and I should try to become a published author.

I also want to invest more time in actually learning how to be a better writer. I've listened to TED talks and interviews and things like that here and there with authors I respect, and sometimes I pick up good advice, and sometimes I think the advice isn't for me, but I want to spend more time doing that this year. Writing, like any art imo, has a large instinctive component, but that doesn't mean you can't better hone your instincts with training.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Last spring I stumbled across a post where some total strangers were discussing wanting to see fluff of Harry/Murphy. One person in particular had a specific request, I think she said she wanted to see Harry at another Murphy family reunion? I don't remember now. Whatever it was, I had this fic that had been sitting in my drafts since 2019ish and it sounded like just what she was looking for. So even though I thought it was kind of a poorly-written fic, I posted it on AO3 and shared it here, hoping maybe one or more of these people would see it. Even if it wasn't very good, I figured not-great content is still better than no content, right?

That very particular stranger was @laurabeatrix, who did see my fic, and had a ton of kind things to say about it, and has basically not stopped saying nice things about my fics since. She is my biggest cheerleader/muse/emotional support beta reader/tinfoil hat co-conspirator/3 AM rambling thought sounding board/all-around wonderful person. I can honestly say without exaggeration that at least half of what I've written this year wouldn't have happened without her, or at least wouldn't have been posted. Also, she made art for a fic that I wrote. Art. Like for real fanart. It's been months and I'm still kind of freaking out about that because seriously how cool is that?

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

No current events from my life, though I've definitely drawn from my life experiences. There's a scene in Paper & Jewelry where Harry's watching Murphy use a step ladder to try to put baubles on the Christmas tree, which was directly inspired by my wife watching me nearly break my neck several times trying to string the lights on our tree a few years back.

Also, not sure if it counts but most of the time when I choose to set a scene in a specific place in Chicago it's because it's a place I've been and often have pictures I can reference. Several of Lara and Harry's dates in All's Fair are locations the wife and I have also visited together. Really wish we weren't living in plague times, because it's been way too long since we had a chance to get out there and I'm itching for it.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Share what you've written! I don't care what you've written. I don't care if its an obscure ship from an obscure fandom with a weirdly specific set of tags that you think only you could possibly care about. Someone wants to read it. You think it's bad? It's probably amazing, but even if it isn't, to be honest, who cares? If you liked the idea, or the dialogue, or the setting, or whatever enough to write it, someone else will like it too. It's easy to get caught up in the number of kudos, or the number of comments, but honestly, even if there's just one other person out there who reads it any enjoys it, you've still made an impact on the world, you've made that one person's day better for a few minutes (or hours, or if you write as much as I do maybe days) just by sharing your ideas, your art. Don't second-guess yourself.

And if you're writing for one of my fandoms, this goes doubly for you. Odds are if there's only one weirdo who is going to like your fic, I'm that weirdo, and I want to read it, lol (But seriously, you're better than you think. How do I know? Because I've never in my life met a writer who was as bad or worse than they thought. We all think that. It's okay. Just share anyway.)

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Very close to finishing Detective and Miss Murphy which is both exciting and sad. I'll miss it but I'll be glad to have it wrapped up too.

After that, I've got a kind of dark post-BG longfic I'm working on, which will let me play with myths and deities, some of which we haven't had a chance to see yet in canon, and I'm both nervous and excited for that prospect. We'll see how it works out.

As always, I've got about two dozen other misc WIPs too, most of which aren't ready for me to talk about them yet, but I'm sure there' will be plenty of forthcoming fic for 2022.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

As usual I'm not directly tagging anyone because I don't do that, but if you're reading this and you would like to provide your answers, consider this me, tagging you. I'd love to read your thoughts!!

[cakejots]

this is us trying, Chapter 8 - The Unravel

In this AU, they don’t know each other outside of the suit. And in this AU, Ladybug and Chat Noir love each other. But in this AU, Chat doesn’t want their identities revealed.

Written for @ladynoirjuly 2021

notes: this is a coherent story based on all the prompts; each chapter contains at least 3 prompts. TW for mention of death threats.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10

Read on AO3

24. Rewrite the stars

With how he reacted to those online comments about Marinette a few days prior, Adrien legitimately thought he was going to throw another fit again. But as always, Marinette’s closeness managed to distract him from the negative and made the ‘task’ bearable.

“Go to hell? I’m sorry but who are you to tell me what to do?” She dismissed the comment. “You think I’m just gonna listen to you? People who send these kinds of messages clearly need help.”

He snorted. “Don’t let it get to you, Buguinette.”

“Ah no no,” she shook her head. “It’s just… I can’t understand why they have the need to send this kind of stuff to other people.”

Marinette moved on to other comments within the hashtag page and saw quite a handful of positive comments. She would even go as far as to say that people are generally supportive of their relationship.

There was just a very loud and obnoxious minority that stood out everywhere. It was no wonder Adrien got that infuriated, she wasn’t feeling the best either when she read what people had written about him.

“Chaton?” She stopped scrolling, taking a break before her anger got the better of her. “You’ve gotten quiet. Something on your mind?”

“Uhh, yeah.”

“Wanna talk about it?” She put down her phone and moved to sit beside him, combing her fingers through his hair. “You’ll feel better if you do.”

Adrien leaned against her palm and closed his eyes. “I feel better already.”

She chuckled when he started purring. “Do you wanna stop for a while? Your hair’s so smooth and I honestly think I can do this for the rest of the day.”

“Ahh, that is so very tempting, my lady,” he opened his eyes and pouted. “But at last, this can’t be put off any longer.”

She continued massaging his scalp. “Hmm?”

“The management wants me to make a public apology and… and break up with you to save the company’s image.”

Marinette went rigid with her ministrations.

He quickly wrapped his arms around her and kissed her temple. “Obviously I’m not going to do that. You wound me if you think I’ll do that, Marinette,” he joked.

“Ahh no.” She hugged and leaned against him. “It’s not you. I— I’m just appalled that they’d demand you to take such a drastic move.”

He shrugged. “The company’s image suffered a huge blow when the Agreste Scandal happened. It has only been around six months since then, and now they have to deal with another.”

She nodded and tightened her grip on him. “So what will you do, Adrien?”

He smoothed her arm and nosed her hair. “To hell with them.”

“But—”

“I finally found you, I’m not going to let you go,” he grinned.

A rosy pink hue settled itself on Marinette’s cheeks. Even when she’s already his, Adrien never stops to let her know how special she is to him. She pulled back to hold his gaze while her thumb brushed against his cheek.

“What if they dismiss you?”

Fire lit in his eyes. “I’m going to do what makes me happy, what makes us happy. I’m not going to apologise for my love for you.”

Warm and fuzzy feelings filled her chest as he settled on what he planned to do. Adrien has come so far, and Marinette was more than happy to allow him the agency he desperately needed.

“You’ll rewrite the stars, huh?”

“I’ll rewrite the stars.”

Marinette pulled him close—

“Then I’ll be here supporting you every step of the way.”

—and gave him a long and earnest kiss on the lips.

25. De-transformation

Adrien was hiding half his body behind the door that leads to Marinette’s room. She had her full attention on the task on hand that she didn’t realise he was at the entrance watching her from afar, much like how a kitten observes their human. Adrien really admired how focused Marinette can be sometimes. But right now, he wished that she wasn’t that fixated on whatever she’s doing.

Despite his resoluteness on what to do with the scandal earlier on, Adrien was feeling stressed about it now. They had agreed that he would release a statement to address the scandal tomorrow, and it’d just be a couple of sentences from him, along with a photo of them in his mansion, to really sell to the public that they aren’t fooling around and that she has been staying with him for a while now.

The kiss they had shared earlier did tons to calm his nerves. He could never get enough of the thrill whenever they kissed, it was just that addictive to him. Her alluring lips, curious and exploring hands, the tiny sounds she made, and how she felt within his arms were the only things that mattered.

But that was a few hours ago, right after he came to a decision on what to do. They parted ways afterwards for Adrien to draft his statement, and it looked really good at first. But the more he read and thought about it, the more he felt like they’d face more backlash if he were to put that statement out. His anxiety was returning and he needed to take a breather.

Which was why he was standing at Marinette’s door right now. He really wanted another kissing session with Marinette, but he doesn’t want to push his boundaries either. He figured a rooftop run would help him to loosen up and take his mind off of the drafted statement for now. But he didn’t want to do it alone either.

Adrien stared at Marinette’s back. He felt really bad for disturbing her. He really did. But…

“Marinette?” He called out softly.

She lifted her head to look back at her door, only to see Adrien concealing half his body behind her door. She frowned and briskly walked towards him. “Adrien! What’s wrong?”

He came out of his hiding and averted his gaze “C-Can we go for a rooftop run for a while?” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed.”

She petted and stroked his hair. “Of course! Let’s go!”

Adrien gave her a radiant smile.

.

The rooftop run, sadly, wasn’t as helpful as he had fancied. All he had to do was run… on rooftops which he had been running on for the last 6 years. He could even do it with his eyes closed. His mind was not preoccupied with anything else and his thoughts kept going back to the scandal.

Chat dash towards the top of the Eiffel Tower.

“De-transformation.”

He walked towards the edge of the platform and stared at the city underneath his feet. At least he was still able to admire the view. He sat down, hugged his knees and closed his eyes to enjoy the breeze…

Only to be pulled back by a pair of arms around his waist.

“Adrien! What were you thinking?” Ladybug shook his shoulders when he faced her.

“No, no! I wasn’t doing anything!” He waved his hands. “I was just trying to distract myself.”

Ladybug frowned. “Then why de-transfrom? You can enjoy the view as Chat Noir, can’t you?”

He avoided her eyes. “I-I wanted to feel the breeze.”

She pursed her lips. “You said you wanted a distraction? Something to occupy your mind?”

Adrien nodded.

Ladybug stood and brought him to his feet, smiling. “How about a game or two of Mecha Strike with the gamer pro herself?”

He raised an eyebrow.

“I assure you that you’ll be needing that mind of yours to defeat me,” she declared triumphantly.

“You won tournaments?”

“Duh. Now come on! Transform and let’s go!”

“Buguinette,” he called out as he transformed. “I’ll have you know I didn’t only spend my time at home studying.”

Ladybug threw her yo-yo and a smirk at him. “Then may the best player reign once and for all!” And she jumped off the edge.

Chat followed suit, anticipating the game battles they have for the night.

26. Reveal

They had no idea how it happened. No, they were lying if they said that. They knew how it happened. They just didn’t expect it to unfold the way it did.

The mecha strike matches they had after they arrived back at Marinette’s home did tons to ease Adrien’s nerves. His mind was full of battle strategies to take her down, but she always managed to outsmart him. She wasn’t Ladybug for nothing. She truly is the Reigning Queen of Mecha Strike.

After they had established their respective status in the world of Mecha Strike, Marinette hoped to put Adrien’s mind at peace entirely. He has his way with words and has written beautiful love poems for her. There’s no way the statement he wrote was horrible.

And so she asked to see it; and he gave it to her, because Adrien fully believes in her word for this. He knows that Marinette would never lie about how she felt about the things he pens down.

She gave her smile of approval, and even commented on how sweet it was. She was confident that it’d sway the hearts of haters in the right direction.

And those were very comforting words. Not only has he accomplished proclaiming his love for her to the world, but he also might possibly increase the appeal of their relationship.

Later, they went to bed, peacefully.

When the time came to finally reveal their relationship to the world, they discreetly made their way back to the Agreste mansion, transformed of course.

Marinette suggested taking their picture in his kitchen to really sell the domestic lifestyle to the public, and Adrien agreed. But as they were deciding on the perfect picture to post along with the statement, Adrien started panicking again.

And so did Marinette. (She didn’t have a lot to work with in his mansion.)

Then, she suddenly recalled that being surrounded by soft things could help, that was how she calmed down when she was younger after all. She felt better just by enveloping herself in her blanket and soft toys.

So she pulled him into his room and pushed him onto his bed, remembering how soft it was, and slowly ran her hand through his mane to coax him into lying down. But all Adrien did was close his eyes.

Her other hand landed on his shoulder to push, but didn’t manage to make him budge at all as she was pulled into his lap, coming face to face with him.

Marinette was startled by his actions and stopped her ministrations. But he began rubbing his head against her palm, and she continued. She also started caressing under his chin with her fingers.

He opened his eyes lazily to gaze at her; so did she.

And Adrien gently held her face to bring their lips together, after he saw in her eyes what was most likely in his as well.

Marinette didn’t hesitate this time, fluttering her eyes close and wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer, to bring herself closer to him. She released a tiny whimper when Adrien’s hand suddenly landed on the small of her back, drawing her in to close the non-existent gap between them.

There was just something different about this kiss. Adrien’s heartbeat wasn't thundering as hard as he thought it would be, and a wave of calmness washed over him as they continued moving their lips against the other. His thumb stroked her cheek, to invite her to continue for as long as she liked.

Marinette’s hand shifted towards his hair and grabbed, pushing herself further into his face, and Adrien groaned before grinning against her lips. Marinette soon followed suit before she pulled back, but couldn’t go far as she was literally caged within his embrace.

“What’s so funny?” She opened her eyes and beamed.

Adrien moved in to kiss her nose. “Nothing. Just, thank you,” and he smooched her forehead.

“Trust me, this helped me as much as it helped you,” and she pressed her lips to his cheek.

Marinette caressed his other cheek. “Ready to post that statement and shut the haters up once and for all?”

A glint shone in Adrien’s eyes. “Oh, definitely.”

They moved to sit comfortably on his bed and Adrien copied his statement from his notes, the photo already chosen and sitting on the post, waiting to be sent out.

“You know, this feels very much like a blog post. I’ve never written this much on this account before.”

“SHIT!”

Adrien jumped and looked at her full-blown eyes. “What? What’s wrong?”

She swiftly placed her hand on his. “Chaton, before you post that, I need to let you know that it was my best friend who informed me about what happened to you last week.” She scratched her head. “That’s how I was able to get to you, even though it took quite a while.”

Adrien was visibly confused. “O...kay?”

“And she actually asked for an update on the situation.”

He finally caught on. “Oh! Tell her then! Give her the update she deserves.” He chuckled. “Thank you so much, Marinette’s best friend!”

Her kitty’s so cute when he’s elated. “She… um, s-she wants to know about how we met and stuff.” Marinette glimpsed at him. “How do you want to deal with that?”

“Well, that’d be hard, wouldn't it?”

“Well, we can't use anything related to fashion right?” She said, matter-of-factly. “Since she knows that I wanted to intern at Gabriel and the chance went poof with the final battle…”

“Why not tell her the truth?”

“What?!”

He shrugged. “I mean, the threat is gone. I don't see why not?”

She smiled. “Adrien, honey, my best friend is Alya.”

“Uhh, she... has a nice name?” He tilted his head.

“She’s Alya Cesaire!” She shook his shoulders. “She’s the lady blogger! She’ll flip if she learns that I'm Ladybug!”

“Oh.”

“So there’s no way.”

“What an interesting turn of events,” he simpered. “How about telling her that I don't want people prying into my life?”

“That’s not fair to her,” she pouted.

“Then how about the bakery?” He threw in another excuse.

“Huh?”

“You work in the bakery sometimes, right?” He clarified.

She furrowed her brows. “But I've never seen you at the bakery.”

“Neither did she,” he pointed out, “so maybe we can use that?”

Her face lit with comprehension. “Oh my gosh, Adrien! You’re a genius!”

“We can go with the typical ‘well, we met one day at the bakery, and the rest was history’ kinda sharing.” Adrien gesticulated a rainbow curve with his hands.

Marinette giggled. “I’ll call her now.”

“You two are so sickeningly sweet, you know that?” Alya’s voice echoed through Marinette’s phone.

“Thank you!” Adrien replied, the post still sitting on the edit page.

“So how are you guys gonna deal with the scandal?”

“Adrien will be releasing a statement to address it,” Marinette replied this time.

“Ooo, a reveal huh? When are guys doing it?”

“Now, ehe,” and Marinette gave the okay signal for Adrien to release the statement.

“Marinette!” Alya screamed. “What the hell!”

[omniswords]

Chronicles of a Parisian Dumbass 15

new year, new chapter c: it's been a while since i've worked on Chronicles—December Mood dips are Not Delicious, plus i started streaming regularly, which has been fun! ((i’m omnistruck on Twitch if you want to check it out 🥰) but rest assured i intend to see it through to the end. i hope you've been well <3 take care, and enjoy!

From: itsdjbubbles

My dude, if your stage presence is anything like this flyer, y’all are absolutely gonna kill it at La Tortue.

Well. Luka doesn’t know about that.

It’s not like Kitty Section is totally obscure. They’ve had a stage in Paris’s annual pop-up music festival or more than one occasion. And sometimes Juleka’s tagged along to street corners with him so they could duet in hopes of more than just pocket change. And, of course, there was that whole music contest with Bob Ross and XY, but that had only ended in fiasco: their music was stolen, Rose’s vocals ripped right off the track. Luka argued up and down over the phone until he was red in the face, nearly biked down to the studio and let them have it, but he could hardly prove it. And he cared too much about it jeopardizing Juleka’s happiness to follow through.

Total corporate bullshit. He didn’t know how Jagged Stone did it. When he said so at dinner the night he gave up, his Ma only tousled his hair and said, “You’re my boy, aren’t you?”

Sometimes he thinks that’s the strongest, bravest, he’s ever been. That all his audacity peaked years ago, and he’s only gotten worse since then.

Bubbles isn’t corporate bullshit. Luka feels like he’d be able to figure out something like that from conversation alone. But their talks have been friendly—and more than that, supportive. He’s even shown a few messages to the band, just to check that he wasn’t losing his mind. And he saw how their faces softened in approval, or lit up with excitement. Even Juleka’s.

Besides, Bubbles makes music. And when he samples something, he actually credits it. He knows how to play the game. And it feels like they’re on the same side of the board.

Bubbles has that stage presence; the fact that he only needs that one shadowy picture on his profile is more than enough of an indicator. And Bubbles has a reputation that precedes him. So even if they’re on the same side of the board, it feels like Bubbles is always just a couple of steps ahead.

At least his bandmates are on the same side, and at the same step. All it took was a casual mention, during a late-night band practice, of “the bakery he keeps getting their snacks from” being all in on getting them even more exposure. They didn’t exactly do a good job of hiding their excitement, but he wouldn’t have wanted them to, anyway. Even Juleka, after practice ended, had to admit, “You did good.” And then, with perhaps a bit more snark, “Maybe she’s the one trying to impress you. “

“Stop,” Luka said with a roll of his eyes, but he couldn’t help thinking about it once the partition between their beds was up. There was no way Marinette Dupain-Cheng was trying to impress him.

…Was there?

By now, nearly a day later, Luka’s still asking himself that. Still hemming and hawing like they have more than just two weeks to get their act together. Pacing below deck with his phone in his hand, thinking about pear tarts and pretty faces instead of going to see them in person, and staring at Marinette’s phone numbers until he thinks he’s accidentally memorized both of them.

He doesn’t recognize the pattern or the area code of one of them, so he can only assume that it's an American number. But he still hasn’t mucked up the courage to text or even save the French one in his phone. Why does he need to be scared in the first place? It’s a phone number, and this is strictly business, and everything between them has been strictly business.

Well. Nearly everything. Nearly strictly.

He thinks.

Okay. Okay. All he has to do is say… what? Hi? Who just starts texting someone for the first time with “Hi?” But he can’t go writing a whole essay either, even though at least now he has the power to edit his words instead of just saying them and hoping for the best.

This is harder than it needs to be. And yeah, maybe he’s just making it harder than it needs to be, but it’s not like his brain and the shake in his hands are giving him much of a choice in the matter.

Luka switches back over to his message thread with Bubbles and shoots off a quick reply—flatterer—because maybe answering something easy will make the hard stuff more tolerable. He finds himself looking toward his guitar as though it might lend him strength… well, what the hell. It couldn’t hurt. He plays a doodle or two, idle notes, and catches himself before his fingers can drift toward the beginning of the ocean-blue song. At this point, it’s neither perfect nor good, and he can’t tell if it’s personal dissatisfaction or the numbers that the latest draft has been doing online.

Both. It’s probably both.

Messaging Marinette ends up being just as hard after his attempts at centering as it was before—because as it turns out, the whole music-giving-him-unbridled-confidence thing really only works while he’s playing it. So now he’s left still staring at the blank NEW MESSAGE screen, the cursor blinking almost tauntingly at him because of course it is. Because somehow, he can write a note telling a girl her eyes are pretty and survive long enough to see her smile about it, but he can’t send that same girl a text. It’s not like he can even see her reaction this time, anyway; that just gives him even more of an advantage.

Okay. Okay. He can actually do this. Maybe. He thinks—no, no, he has to.

With a deep breath that he holds longer than he releases, Luka opens a new message.

To: Marinette hey. it’s luka.

And like an idiot, he hits SEND before he’s even put the rest of his message together. So now he has to make a mad dash to come up with something so he doesn’t seem like a total creep for messaging her out of the blue.

For fuck’s sake. This is exactly why he writes his messages in the notes first.

To: Marinette sorry, hit send before i could finish. anyway, just wanted to tell you the band is cool with the postcard idea. i can pay you next time i come to the bakery, if that’s cool.

To: Marinette anyway, it’s really cool of you to offer your help like this. sorry if i didn’t say so yesterday, it’s kind of been... a wild time.

Luka locks his phone before he can agonize too much over what he’s sent, stuffs it away and starts pacing again. It’s not a frantic, shaky thing; no, he’s learned to keep the shakes on the inside until no one’s around to see them. He jumps when his back pocket vibrates, and he nearly drops his phone trying to fish it out. It’s only Bubbles, and he can’t tell whether he’s relieved or disappointed until his phone buzzes again. Twice. And this time, it actually is from Marinette.

From: itsdjbubbles Sorry, I was getting some stuff ready for my next project. Listen, I’m just saying. Don’t sell yourself short as this stuff. Paris is gonna hear you up there, and it’s gonna lose its collective fucking mind.

From: Marinette hi luka ☺️ no worries, i do that too sometimes. here’s the mockup for the postcard. let me know what your band thinks, i’ll do some tweaks and send it to print. sound good?

Luka balks, both at the tone of the message and at the picture she sent. It looks almost exactly like the flyer, same color scheme and everything. The only difference seems to be in the composition, which makes sense; she’s got more of the eye for this stuff, even for someone who only “dabbles.”

To: Marinette wow, this is... thank you? that was fast. and this is really well put-together. i think they’re gonna love it.

you really weren’t kidding, huh.

Luka finds himself sinking onto his bed and staring at the message thread instead of actually doing something productive. And strangely, he’s fine with that. The more time passes, the less scary it is to see her typing back, again and again and again.

From: Marinette course i wasn’t kidding. “help” is practically my middle name to the people who matter.

and i mean, there’s only a little bit of time until your show, right? so, gotta get movin.

anyway, i gotta run. my friend needs help for his summer class and i promised i’d go visit today.

Keep me posted about your band!

♥️

There is far too much in that message for Luka to need to process. “People who matter?” “Keep me posted?” The literal heart emoji at the end? He reads their messages over and over, mostly to confirm that this really, actually just happened, but he’s not going to push his luck. Maybe she just talks to everyone like that, and more importantly, the two of them haven’t been much more than a series of transactions anyway.

A... lot of transactions.

That she’s been doing a lot of giving for.

Luka tries and at least sort of succeeds at shaking the thought from his mind; he can’t read hers, and he shouldn’t try to. He sends her one last text—cool, have a good one—and switches back to Bubbles before he can worry if his words were too casual.

To: itsdjbubbles Thanks for the vote of confidence. I guess you’re not the only one? the bakery I go to, they’re offering to help too.

or, I mean, CBG is offering to help.

Bubbles’s reply doesn’t come until a few hours later. It’s presumably after that project work he mentioned, and definitely after Luka’s had some time to play out the rest of the shakes before he goes busking. His phone buzzes with the notification just as he’s about to leave, and what Bubbles has to say makes his stomach churn and his blood run both hot and cold.

From: itsdjbubbles wait. wait wait wait. hold on i just scrolled your posts.

CBG is *Marinette Dupain-Cheng?*

ohhhhhhh my dude you are in for it now.

[swtki]

So You Want To Get Started Writing On Tumblr.

So first off, let me make it clear this is for both fanfic and original work. These are by no means absolute rules or anything, but they are just things I wish I had known 4 years ago at 14 years old.

Read. Read other peoples work and get inspo for writing techniques. I have been writing online for almost 10 years and I still do that today.

Find a set up that works for you. Maybe you write better on desktop, maybe better on mobile. Maybe you find it easier to copy and paste the story from a separate document, whatever it is that makes the writing the main focus and not the world around you is the goal. Personally, I write on mobile a lot and prefer to be on the go.

Write things for you first and foremost. You may struggle with audience pleasing at any point in your blogging journey. I struggle with it to this day. But writing is fun, and should be a hobby; not an obligation.

Don’t beat yourself up for missing deadlines. I know that pit in your gut wants to tell you otherwise but heres the thing; people don’t keep track of your blog posts unless they really like your writing, in which case they can turn on post notifs, or just scroll through your blog. It’s okay, take a deep breath.

Create an organized blog that you can keep up with. For most people this means a navigation post with links. It also helps peoples perception of your work and you are more likely to have people find your works on their own interest. Personally, I do not follow writers with messy pages because I refuse to spend extra time scrolling.

Create drafts when you have inspiration, it helps with writers block. When you get an idea for a post, start it and save it as a draft. Even if you forget about it, it still serves as a building block later on when you feel empty.

Set boundaries with your writing and your readers. Don’t push yourself to write something you are uncomfortable with just because someone requested it, if you don’t want to make a do not request form then you can always ignore the ask.

Revise and format. A visually pleasing post is like the front door of a house. It gives people a vibe of what the rest of it looks like. It also tells the reader that you care about your work and put the effort in. If you are a native English speaker, you should go the extra mile to spell words in their right form (their/there/they’re, you’re/your, where/were/wear). If your story has multiple errors when it comes to grammar, I physically cannot read your work because I can’t focus on the story. Not everyone is like me, but it isn’t that hard to do a quick little spell check or grammar check.

Use your tools. This includes software like Grammarly or google search for plot research. Most writers will be happy to help if you decide to message them with a problem too.

Wanna get your post out? Tags. Tag as many things as you can, and usually you can get away with tag-fishing.

Have fun posting!