#zach knight

[zaachknight]

I now have a hatred for insta posts and I really hate this but it took me 3 days so

[i-like-books-and-women]

Guys I finally have a think ✨️

So I think Zach would get to a point where he's good at just verbalizing that he loves Ruben (bros gonna be writing love songs for this man at some point) but Ruben is just kinda bad at emotional vulnerability in a '"if I'm guarded I can't get hurt" kinda way and in my mind it's kinda like this clip from Bob's burgers.

[starsforhours]

ruben's favourite disney/pixar movie is ratatouille

angel's favourite is inside out 1/2+

zach's favourite is wall-e

jon's favourite is the monsters uni/inc series

[shhh-shooting-stars]

I feel like Angel would constantly remind the group of THE GAME

[rubenmontez]

Ruben's arc

I'll shut up soon, but I keep thinking about how Ruben is the quiet tragedy in If This Gets Out. There are so many comments about his life that are dropped in and left there.

Like, he was raised by an emotionally abusive narcissist and a father who never stood up for him against her. He went to music camp to please his mom, and makes friends with a guy (Jon) on her orders. Because of this, he ends up in the band formed by Jon's famous father, where he is forced to hide his sexuality when he doesn't want to, and limit his own talent in case he outshines the other band members. He dates a bunch of guys that abuse him the same way his mother did, treating him as something they can use for their own gains, and is (alluded to) SAd or close to it when he's forced to do things for them in order to keep them and their "love".

Then he finally finds something real with the guy he has feelings for (Zach) and Zach immediately freaks out and pulls away, leaving Ruben terrified he's going to lose his whole found family. He's incredibly anxious and afraid because he's spent his whole life being told he's not lovable if he isn't perfect and doing things for other people. Zach (accidentally) calls Ruben ugly in front of the world, while ignoring him (imagine kissing your crush, only to have him pull away, promise to talk then continually cancel your attempts to work through it, and then telling the world they can't see why people would find you attractive!) My heart broke at that part.

Then they finally work things out and he finally gets a moment of happiness, for probably the first time in his life, and abusive people in power (the story of his life) start interfering and separating him and Zach. To add to it, he's been begging to come out so he doesn't have to sneak around and lie and be afraid (which is another layer of trauma) every time he loves someone, and he finally discovers they're never going to let him come out, and he has to sacrifice his own happiness and wellbeing for the band. Then when the band rally around him and try to help him come out anyway, he's literally and figuratively silenced by his abusers, who then take him to court for 'defamation' when all he's doing is finally speaking out about the years of abuse he's endured.

I also found it very smart how the authors juxtapose Zach and Ruben, because most characters view Zach as the people-pleaser, but Ruben has that in common with Zach. The whole book, Ruben allows himself to be silenced and shoved into a corner for the band, allows his literal identity to be denied for the band, gives Zach plenty of grace to work through his bisexuality even when it crosses over into cruelty sometimes, allows his Mom to emotionally abuse him while still buying her property etc... Ruben's toxic trait of people pleasing is called out less than Zach's but it's as much at the heart of his arc as it is Zach's. In a way, two people-pleasers found each other and were so horrified at each other's insistence on neglecting themselves, they managed to convince each other to stand up for themselves. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[vampfaangz]

sketchy-ish zuben fanart! not the most proud of this, but it wasn't going anywhere else so :)

pssst - I have a if this gets out blog @zaachknight ;3

[thepeculiarbird]

Finally drew the entire band, I think I died drawing Zach (and don't know how to feel about Ruben lol) 👍

[your-stroopwafel]

Zach x Ruben aesthetic

[char-art-writeing]

Favourite gay book. Go.

If this gets out by Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich. Absolutely love it.

[zaachknight]

real footage of the itgo fandom

[angelsphans]

anjon is real and i am proof

hello and welcome to my little corner of hell where i scream about a book i first read the week of christmas and had to stop myself from finishing on christmas eve because my heart couldn't multitask like that

follow this blog if you want to see anjon shit and my random musings about this fucking book. also maybe incorrect quotes because i have a lot of those

my ao3 pseud for itgo is angelphan and i follow back from @violetboy

[i-like-books-and-women]

Zach and Angel do charity streams every other month ish where it's like "we match every dollar" and they play papa's games.

[starsforhours]

ughhfhghgh I have so many headcannons to do with the Saturday songs in the book i need my brain taken away from me

[shhh-shooting-stars]

I love how there’s a maximum of 10-15 people in the Itgo fandom and we have collectively made enough headcannons to create another book, and there’s about 40 fanfics on Ao3 under the Itgo tag. I’m suprised the fandoms still alive but I’m living for it

[vaampiricdecay]

fav character in itgo is the loofa

[fishwigglesstudio]

Another commission from Dan "Paladin Cecil" Twedt of his character, Zach, who loves to dive for sport!

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