#jason todd laughing
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yourcoolstepdad23 · 1 year ago
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Bernard meeting the Batfam
Bernard looked in his closet for a good shirt to wear to dinner with his boyfriend’s rich family. Tim stared at him-you don’t have to get fancy you know that right?
Bernard is now panicking-yes I do! I’m literally dating Bruce Wayne’s adoptive son! So it’s only right.
Tim let’s out a huff and gets up and pulls out a a white button shirt and hands it to Bernard-here just wear this
Bernard grabs it-thanks babe
Bernard then kisses Tim’s cheek and runs to the bathroom.
—10 minutes later—
Tim knocks on the bathroom door-you ready?
Bernard opens the door-how do I look?
Tim stares in awe-you look really handsome!
Tim kisses his lips then pulls away-lets go
—after 20 minutes they arrived at the Wayne manor-
Tim knocked on the door
Alfred opens the door-Master Tim and let me guess Bernard?
Bernard looks surprised-how did you know?
Alfred smiles-Master Tim talks about you all the time.
Tim blushes-Hey Alfred could we come in?
Alfred chuckles-yes Master Tim please come in.
Once they walk in the first person they see is Dick
Dick smiles and goes over to greet them-Tim how have you been?
Dick hugs Tim-Hey Dick I’ve been great.
Dick then walk over to Bernard-hey I’m Dick Grayson and you?
Dick holds out his hand and Bernard shakes it-I’m Bernard Dowd it’s nice to meet you Dick.
All three of them walked over to dining room and Bernard stares in awe because of how big the manor.
Then Damian Wayne was in the dining room waiting for them so was Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd..wait Jason?!
Bernard Stared in surprised at Jason.
Jason noticed-You got a staring problem or what??
Bernard shakes his head-no sorry sir!!
Tim rolls his eyes and looks at Jason-Don’t scare my boyfriend Jason.
Jason laughs-Haha-sorry didn’t mean to seem like a jerk.
Bernard chuckled-no it’s ok.
Bruce smiles and says-how about you guys have a seat.
they all talk about Tim’s embarrassing times and what Bernard works for.
—After dinner Tim and Bernard head back to Tim’s boat—
Tim flops onto the bed-see it wasn’t that bad now was it?
Bernard lays next to him-no it wasn’t but Damian kept staring daggers at me.
Tim laughs and cuddles next to Bernard-you’ll get used to it.
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endyfwend · 4 months ago
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Just found a Batman quote, and it sounds like an “incorrect quotes” sorta thing. It’s not. Batman, THE Batman, has actually said “Ya basic”
… I’m crying
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batfamhastwitter · 2 months ago
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Part 34! Alfred let Tim leave the poster up for a day before he makes him take it down
Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next
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tiger-grace · 4 months ago
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The Dark Knight, Batman, Mr. “I am the night” maintaining his mystery even while revealing his identity in a justice league meeting:
The JL: Bruce Wayne?!
His wayward children, who have scheduled a “Brucie Wayne” funniest moments and scandals compilation to kick on in about 30 seconds on the monitor:
The JL: … bruce wayne
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gothamite-rambler · 2 months ago
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"Who do we know that did drugs? I got it!" Batman said, calmly.
Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne stood in the Batcave, looking over some data on the Batcomputer.
Dick: None of us have done drugs or made drugs, but we need someone who's versed in it. Who?
Bruce (excited, sudden realization): I got it! Call Jason!
Dick: He blocked you again?
Bruce looked a bit sheepish, but quickly recovered.
Bruce (defensive): You’re not calling him?!
Sighing, Dick reluctantly pulled out his phone and dialed Jason’s number. Jason answered, but before Dick can say a word, Bruce suddenly knocked him to the ground and snatched the phone from his hand.
Bruce: Are you still friends with Roy? We need to learn how crack is made. We’re tracking someone!
There’s a pause on the other end of the line. Then, Jason started laughing—slowly at first, then breaking into fits of uncontrollable laughter. In the background, a weary sigh can be heard that isn’t Jason’s.
Jason (laughing, catching his breath): I’ll ask him. Hey Roy—
Roy (in the background, exasperated): Fuck you!
Jason (chuckling, responds to Bruce): I think he can help us.
Bruce: Oh, thank God.
Dick, now back on his feet, glaring at Bruce with a mix of annoyance and disbelief.
Dick: You could’ve just asked for the phone!
Batman: Get over it.
Roy: You know I was on heroin not crack!
Batman: I will send you $6,000 if you are honest with me and tell me you at least know how it's made.
Roy (huffing as Jason laughs harder because he knows what's about to happen): Okay, you're going to need a pen.
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charlietheepicwriter7 · 11 months ago
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The Joker was apprehended, sitting on the ground as Batman guarded him, but the kid--"Bruce Wayne's newest ward, how tragic! Hehehe!"--was nowhere to be found. Nightwing and Red Hood desperate searched the warehouse until a shuffling noise grabbed their attention.
A kid, black haired just like the kid in the Joker's broadcast, crawling out of a pile of boxes. "Is it over?" the boy asked quietly.
Nightwing guided him to the only exit, unfortunately walking past the boy's own kidnapper. "Yeah, kid. It's over. Come on-"
Like a shot, the boy rushed the Joker and kicked him right in the balls.
The Joker wheezed like a dying squeaky toy. Red Hood froze. Nightwing immediately snatched the boy up by the armpits, but all that did was give the boy the height to attack again, punting Joker in the jaw. The clown went down and cracked his head on the floor. He did not get back up.
There was a moment of silence before Red Hood roared with laughter, his helmet distorting the sound.
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iamlostandinneedofcoffee · 2 months ago
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Jason is just making fun of Phantom over the phone outside of a JL meeting in the watch tower. He keeps calling him out and taking the piss, saying Phantom won’t do shit cause the JL are there.
The entire League are just staring at each other and Batman silently and awkwardly and they hear Red Hood mock someone saying “shove that in your grave, oh wait you didn’t get one” and losing it.
Eventually Red Hood comes back in still crying from laughter under his hood after that 40 minute call. Just as the JL are about to restart they just hear a banging from the space window(?!)
Everyone turns to see a feral looking 14-15 years cussing up a storm so bad even Constantine flinches(how can they hear someone talking when they are in space how are they just there?!?).
Only to hear Red Hood go “Oh Shit” and dead sprint out the room as the teen phases through the window and chases after him saying something about a Creep Bat (Flash asks if he missed another Bat Kid, Batman refuses.)
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bruciemilf · 7 months ago
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Jason: I’d fold Batman like a paper towel.
Duke: So why don’t you want to fight with Bruce, then?
Jason: Are you on crack?
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pinkrobinontheloose · 6 months ago
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This was hilarious
(This is from the fic series 'Liminal Spaces' by Calamityjim in AO3)
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noazhere · 17 days ago
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Jason: ... somewhere I must've heard it. I don't know.
Tim:
Jason: I SAID I DON'T KNOW. *leaves*
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glitter-stained · 7 months ago
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More of trans allegory Jason and the goons VS the batfam:
Transmasc older goon, trying to connect: Hey out of curiosity boss, when did your egg crack?
Jason, thinking this is a bird pun about how he became Robin: Uh, 12 I guess...
****
Penguin henchman: Wow, you really are okay calling yourselves goons? Isn't that like a little demeaning?
Red Hood Goon: Inclusivity my guy -Henchperson is a mouthful, and that way, we don't have to assume.
Penguin Henchman: Oh my god that's so thoughtful!
*they resume shooting at eachother.*
*****
Batman You're not okay Hood, you need a professional. Please, we can help you!
Jason: There's nothing wrong with me, I won't let you throw me into Arkham!
Goon of the week: Yeah Batfreak, the boss doesn't need help, there's nothing wrong with him! How would you like it if we tried to convert you out of being a furry, huh?!!
Batman: reconsiders life choices.
****
Angry goon: *beats the shit out of Nightwing with a trans pride flag*
Dick, a bisexual cis metrosexual: I'm not sure what is happening but this feels offensive.
****
Batman: Please, I know there's a lot of bad blood, but you're still my child...
Jason: Really? Because I clearly remember you saying you weren't my father and didn't have to deal with my "teenage angst"!
The Goons: You said what?!
Oracle : You said what?!
Dick, standing up and picking up the pride flag: You said what.
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aflamboyanceofflamingos · 8 months ago
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Tim, suddenlly looking up: Oh My God Dick: What? are you okay? What happened? Tim: I just realized why Jason keeps making jokes about how he died Jason: Yeah, because I died. It was a fairly big thing Tim: No, it's because nothing else happened when you were Robin Jason: What Tim: Dick's the original Robin and the first sidekick, not to mention Discowing, so he has a lot to joke about- Dick: Hey! Discowing was cool Tim: No it was not. Neither was Ric without a k. Never be anything but Nightwing Dick: Aw, you like it when I'm myself Tim: No, I'm less tramatized when you're yourself. Anyway, Steph started a gang war, Demon Brat died and came back to life and is still Robin, Duke's not Robin but he started We Are Robin and jumped out of a police car before being a vigilante and I have my own things that we don't need to discus- Dick: Saved the world in a intergalatic baseball game- Jason: Hid the purchase of your own batmoblie in the batarang expenses- Dick: Sunk around and took photos of vigilante at the age of 9- Tim: THAT WE DON'T HAVE TO DISCUSS! Back to what I was saying, Jason's the boring robin Jason: Rude- Tim: You were the good robin, the little crazy shit you did like steal the tires off the batmobile were kinda overshadowed by the fact that you like Jane Austen and you been red hood is because you died so everything you've done since then still has to do with the one thing that happened to you as Robin Dick: Oh My God. You said you were sticking to the same joke over and over again so it would have the same effect, but really you have nothing else to make jokes about Tim: Exactly! Jason: We really don't have to talk about this- Tim: I need to go tell Steph immediately Dick: I need to go tell everyone immediately
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dollishmehrayan · 28 days ago
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WE LISTEN, WE DON’T JUDGE TREND ── .✦
A/n: so there’s this trend on TikTok where it’s like “we listen we don’t judge” and I couldn’t stop thinking about batboys doing this (here’s the trend -> trend) SO UM YEAH.
(tags: batboys we listen we don’t judge trend.)
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All of them: we listen, we don’t judge.
jason: "I once stole the Batmobile because Bruce wouldn't let me drive it, then parked it in front of Crime Alley like it was a trophy."
Dick: "And you’re proud of that?"
Tim: "He said we don’t judge."
Damian: "But I am judging."
── .✦
All of them: “We listen. We don’t judge.”
Dick: "I once did an entire patrol in sequined tights because I forgot my suit, and honestly? Gotham didn’t notice."
Jason: "They definitely noticed, man."
Tim: "Still doesn’t top the mullet plus, discowing, plus-“ *cue dick shushing him with his finger aggressively*
Damian: "Disgraceful, I don’t associate with you imbeciles.”
── .✦
All of them: “We listen. We don’t judge.”
Tim: "I once fell asleep on a rooftop during patrol and woke up to pigeons sitting on me, back when I was robin I think.”
Jason: "Bro, how do you survive Gotham?"
Dick: "Better question—how did we not find you?"
Damian: "this is why I try to escape you guys.”
── .✦
All of them: “We listen. We don’t judge.”
Damian: "I once released a venomous snake in the Batcave to test Father’s reflexes."
Jason: "See? This is why nobody wants to come near you within a 6 mile radius."
Tim: "I still have nightmares from Bruce’s screams.”
Dick: "Bruce does too, I heard him screaming about snakes the other night, no wonder why.”
── .✦
All of them: “We listen. We don’t judge.”
Duke: "I once wore a full frankstein suit to school for spirit day... because I forgot it wasn’t Halloween and like mixed up Halloween and spirit day up.”
Jason: "I’m so proud of you."
Damian: "Jason can go dress up like frankstein because he doesn’t need to color the scars or stit-“ *cue jason leaping from his seat towards damian*
Dick: “WHAT THE FUCK-“
── .✦
*video ends with jason and Damian sitting on the couch in full body casts.*
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redsray · 10 months ago
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Batfam AU where Jason never dies, so Tim doesn't join the family the standard way. Instead, he continues pouring most of his time and energy into his photography, eventually becoming known as a popular photographer for events and all that. So now, picture this: Tim gets hired to be a photographer for a Wayne gala. Obviously, he's ecstatic, because he can take pictures of Batman, Robin and Nightwing and be in their presence for a whole night. Since Tim is so naturally talented in stealth and taking pictures unnoticed, the second one of the fam realises this they're like: this kid is good. Tim manages to go unnoticed by all 3 of them (all bat-trained, one literally batman) multiple times during the night, and even when he is noticed, he disappears before they can manage to get a good look at him; to the sheer amazement of Dick and Jason.
Jason, (very discreetly putting snacks in his suit pocket): i know you're under the table, kid.
Tim: don't mind me, Mr. Todd-Wayne, sir, just taking a few pictures
Jason: right... Jason's fine, and what pictures were you taking from under the table?!
Tim, showing him perfectly good shots of him: these.
Jason: how did you get that. it looks like you took it from the rafters
Tim, nodding: I did.
Jason, glancing at the ceiling: ...what?
Tim, gone:
Jason: no fucking way.
Dick, hearing a very, very faint camera shutter from behind him:
Dick, turning around and finding no one there: what the actual...
Dick, getting the feeling of being watched and whirling around to find Tim staring at him from across the room: ... huh.
Jason, pulling Dick aside: you see that kid too, right?!
Dick, nodding: the camera kid, yeah?
Jason: who is that.
Dick: he's one of the hired photographers, apparently. one of the best in his field, despite his age.
Jason: he's good. like, really good. snuck up on me 4 times already, the little bastard.
Dick: you too? i swear he's constantly watching. it's creepy how well he can sneak past both of us.
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: you don't think...
Dick: no. B would've told us.
Jason:
Dick:
Dick: did he get another kid and not tell us somehow
Bruce: what do you mean another kid?
Jason: you heard us. did you adopt another kid and not tell us?!
Bruce: no?? how would I even?? ... what's this about?
Dick: one of the photographers has managed to sneak up on both me and Jay multiple times already
Bruce: what.
Jason: he also can't be more than like. 15 or 16. so forgive us for assuming you took another one in.
Bruce: do you know his name?
Dick:
Jason:
Bruce: really?
Dick: in our defence, he's very hard to catch. i wouldn't be surprised if he's snuck up on you, too.
[camera shutter noise]
All of them, whipping their heads toward the sound only to find nothing but air:
Tim, smiling from the other side of the room:
Jason: do you see what we mean?!
Cue an entire night of shenanigans where it's just Dick, Jason and Bruce trying to catch Tim and learn about him. Upon finding out who he is and where he lives, Dick immediately asks to keep him as an honorary member of the family. Jason is hesitant at first but at some point Tim calls Bruce Batman instead of Mr. Wayne on accident and Jason laughs so hard he's basically won over. Bruce can do nothing but watch as Tim proceeds to come over almost every night for sleepovers and is coddled by both of his sons. And he can't deny, the kid's investigation and stealth skills are top tier. By the time Dick and Jason both start referring to Tim as 'their younger brother' Bruce has just accepted his fate.
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betterthanbatman1 · 8 months ago
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Reminder that Little!jason loved Superman
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tamdrry · 1 year ago
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Text:
Jay: Nah, I won’t kick your ass
Jay: but my sister might
Based on this post by @thevanillahorizon
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