#its really hard to live and do things when im constantly thinking on about how the fuck am i gonna survive
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#got overcharged twice on that car payment and now i dont have money anymore horraaay#what i had saved for rent its all gone pls kill me#its really hard to live and do things when im constantly thinking on about how the fuck am i gonna survive#luckily mom has a friend that can help us complete rent but fuck i hate having to keep doing that#i wish i was smart that i could have graduated better and have had a better job but im stuck in this life#this year absolutely fucked me in the ass and i hate it so much#living in hotels/going broke/mom going to a hospital and me thinking i had a chance but never spoke up and now im here#i feel so alone#im only alive for my brother and my cat only tbh..#without them i wouldn't be alive anymore tbh
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need to go home rn actually i cannot be on this trip anymore. like at least when i reach a breaking point at home i have an apartment alone to break down in and regulate myself until im okay enough, there's just no way to do that here at all
#like there is no room other than the bathroom where i can be alone#and i cant be in the bathroom very long bc all eleven of us are sharing two#and every day is just overwhelming things constantly and i just have to be okay and normal for all of it#and i can't even go home and decompress afterward like there is no alone time or privacy or any time for me to like stabilize#and i broke tonight and cried in front of my mom and she started talking about how i shouldnt be like this anymore#and i need a better psychiatrist and she just was so annoyed with me#and im just trying so hard and still failing like this is the best i can fucking do rn#and i know its pathetic and difficult to be around and annoying trust me#like im so aware of how impossible it is to be around me i know and if i could control this i would be better but i cant#i can regulate myself to some degree when i have time alone where i feel safe but i just dont have that option here#and i have to do this for another week and i just dont think i can like theres no way i can and i dont know what to do#cw self harm#ever since i started living alone ive been doing so so much better about not engaging in self harming behaviors#and after just three days of this multiple are coming back bc pain is the only way i can think of that can maybe get me to calm down quickly#and i cant do that like i just cant deal with all this coming back i was doing so fucking well#sorry this is such a long rant and ik its all silly and i need to be grateful i get the chance to go on vacation like this#i just am at such a breaking point like all my mental energy is gone and sleeping hasnt even been recharging it#like i really just need to be alone so i can calm down and reset for a little bit and there just isnt a chance for that#plus i dont have anyone to talk to about this except this stupid fucking blog#i thought maybe my parents knew me well enough to get it but they just dont and that hurts a lot in itself#and i miss having friends i could tell this stuff to that would get it and wouldnt think im pathetic or broken or unlovable for it#i just want to be home so so badly
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Supercut
Summary: “In my head, I play a supercut of us.”
an: halfway through writing this I decided that this isn't technically the finale hehe, more of cam girl!Ellie come, this is just the end of them being stupid. mwah mwah love you all more than you know.
Warnings: SMUT!! 18+, MDNI, angst, cam girl!ellie, Ellie is a real idiot in this one tbh, arguing, hurt/eventual comfort, toxic!Ellie, tribbing, making out, pet names, this one is a little short im sorry, lmk if I missed anything!!!
Read part 1 here, and part 2 here!
You know that gross feeling you get whenever you look back at old pictures or videos? You know, the one that you feel at the pit of your stomach, and it makes you really happy but also really sad? What's that called again?
Oh, right. Its melancholy
It's that feeling where you have a specific memory, and you know that no matter what, that time is gone. You can't replicate it, and the only place that it will live is in the confides of your own mind
And it sucks, because you don't even know when those moments are going to be made. There's no warning in your brain that the day you have planned is going to be so impactful to your life, that you will constantly chase that feeling, trying to replicate what it was that made that time so blissful so that you can feel that same warmth again.
You don't even get the chance to savor it while it lasts.
It almost makes you feel like you never wanted those times to happen to begin with, because you would have been fine without them. Sacrifice one of the times of your life so that you wouldn't have to spend countless nights laying in bed, only hoping that you will experience something that can even come close to how it all felt in the past.
Most of the time, it's easy to simply look back at those memories, feel that disgusting mixture of happiness and sadness, and then move on.
But for some god awful reason, you can't seem to do that this time.
This time, it lingers. It sits there, knocking at your chest, demanding to be acknowledged, to have all of your undivided attention, giving you no choice but to think about how fucked up this all is, how all of this was a complete and utter mistake, and how you have no way in taking it back.
It makes you wish time travel was real, yearning for some mad scientist to come out and say 'look everyone! you can reverse the mistakes you've made in the past!'.
But that doesn't happen, and you have no choice but to live with the icky feeling that settles at the pit of your stomach, and refuses to go away.
You weren't entirely sure what would happen after that night with Ellie, the night that she laid her weight on top of you, fucking you into her mattress over and over again, whispering the sweetest words into the nape of your neck, holding you the entire night through once you were finished, silence overcoming the space as you both fell into a blissful sleep.
It was hard to really tell where you both stood, but you weren't an idiot.
You knew, that you and Ellie had made love that night.
It was truly like nothing you had ever experienced. It was like you were constantly in that delicious state before sleep, where the world is soft, and everything is so comfortable right before you reach the point of unconsciousness, and everything feels so utterly perfect.
That's what it felt like, and you knew that from the moment Ellie had pulled you against her chest, and pressed a soft kiss to your head before you both fell asleep.
It happened, but God....you really wished it hadn't.
Because now? Things were so much fucking worse.
The feeling Ellie gave you scared you, and it made the ugliest thoughts fill your head when you woke up. You felt wrong, the skin on your body feeling filthy for doing something so intimate with her, with your roommate. You felt like you were taking something that wasn't yours, something that was never meant for you in that way.
So you ran.
Not far, of course. You were lucky enough to wake up before Ellie, gently peeling yourself from her body, your stomach sinking whenever she mumbled something gently in her sleep, her hands mindlessly reaching for your body before she fell back into her deep slumber.
You stood over her for a moment, watching as her eyes flickered in her sleep, lips parted as she snored gently. The feeling you had when you watched her sleep scared you, because you felt...like you wanted to stay with her, protect her, hold her in your arms and ignore the reality of how much this was fucking with your head, ignore the fact that she had simply wanted help with her work.
It wasn't supposed to be like this.
You inhaled deeply before you left her room, closing her door gently before you quickly went to your bedroom, tugged on a t shirt and jeans before you grabbed your jacket and left the apartment.
You stayed out in the city all day, that day. You were like a ghost, trying to sort out the feelings that were settling in your chest, opting to simply ignore them instead. You made sure to leave your phone at home, knowing any texts from Ellie wouldn't do you any good with how you were feeling.
You didn't return home until later that afternoon, the sun setting, slowly casting the familiar darkness of night onto the city that you had come to know. You wished you could stay out longer, avoid the situation more, but it was only gettin colder, and you knew you had to go back to your apartment sooner or later.
When you got there, you were greeted by silence. You don't even hear Ellie's usual music playing from inside her room. You frowned softly, looking around a bit for any signs of the girl there. You looked down, finding that her leather jacket and helmet weren't where they usually were.
Ellie had left too.
You should've been happy at that, giving you even more time away from the girl than planned, yet you can't ignore the ugly tinge of sadness and annoyance that lingers at the back of your throat at the thought of here simply...leaving.
When you got to your room, you quickly grabbed your phone, wishfully thinking that there would be a string of messages from your roommate, asking you where you've gone, and if everything is okay between you both.
But when you unlock your phone, there's nothing there.
Not a single call, or a single text.
And you suddenly realized, that great minds think alike.
So, that's how things go with you and Ellie after that. There isn't a grand scene of love, where you both confess that you had both felt that way from the moment you set eyes on each other, there isn't a happily ever after where you become her girl, and she becomes yours. There isn't any of that, you two simply go from being friends, to barely being roommates.
You guys never speak about it. There's never a conversation that happens to even clear the air, pretending as though that night in her bedroom never happened.
There's a sense of hostility that follows after all of it happens, because Ellie won't even fucking look at you now, let alone stand in the same room as you. If you're in the living room, she's in her bedroom, and if you're in the kitchen, she leaves the apartment to go eat somewhere else.
It leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, because you can practically feel the hatred she has for you radiating off of her body whenever she's around, and it's a shock to you that you two are still even living together. The Ellie that would once sit in the living room with you, practically tugging your body to sit on her lap, has succumb to someone who barely even exists to you anymore.
And it doesn't even end there.
Ellie never really had girls in and out of the apartment before, even before you and her started filming and having sex. She was pretty strict about letting others into her space, only ever bringing around girls she was dating long term, or her designated filming partner. You never had a problem with it, letting Ellie know time and time again that the place was half hers, and she could bring whoever she wanted.
But that seemingly changed after you and her happened.
Because suddenly, there's a different girl at your apartment every night, and Ellie is fucking them ten different ways into the next month.
And it always happens to be on the nights before you have to wake up early to go in and open the record store.
She becomes relentless.
You first noticed it happening when she breezed past you on a Friday night, clearly dressed up for a night out. You couldn't really ignore the way your core tightened at how fucking good she looked, the feeling quickly overshadowed by the way she yet again left the house as if you weren't sitting right there.
After getting yourself to bed for some much needed shut eye, you were rudely awakened by the sound of your front door slamming open, followed by the sound of tumbling and soft giggles..
Which then slowly turned into the sounds of Ellie fucking a girl in her bedroom that was directly across from yours.
And it kept going, night after night, the sound of Ellie pleasuring another woman was all that you were left with. Not even your headphones on full volume could drown out the banging of Ellies headboard against the wall.
You have never been a jealous person, especially when it came to Ellie and her sex life. However, after what happened between the both of you, and the very clear fact that Ellie was indeed doing it out of spite..
You really couldn't ignore the fire you felt at the pit of your stomach whenever you heard some random girl moaning out Ellie's name to the top of her fucking lungs.
It was then that you came to terms with the fact that enough was enough.
And you had to move out.
It wasn't long until you wouldn't leave your room.
You seriously couldn't stomach the way it felt, being ignored by Ellie, her constant avoidance a reminder of how much of a bad idea it was to agree to filming with her in the first place. If that wasn't enough, constantly seeing her leave the apartment to go meet up with another girl started to hurt even more.
And you really didn't want to face the truth behind that.
There was something unsettling that came with the feeling it gave you, because how could you go from not even batting an eyelash at Ellie walking out of her bedroom with Julia, to feeling tears prickle at the edge of your eyes every time you heard her fucking someone else across from your room.
Because it's cruel, and you know you were wrong to leave her the way you did, but she left too. You knew that what you did was wrong, but surely you didn't deserve all of this? And why would she even want to hurt you like this in the first place? Surely you were the only one that felt this ridiculous conflicting feeling that only brought you stress.
And yet, you only found new ways to torture yourself.
It happens one night after work, you're tired and all you want to do is peel off your clothes and hop into bed.
Opting to grab your laptop, wanting to watch some mindless video on the internet to lull you to sleep, you are suddenly faced with something that had been waiting to haunt you.
A link to one of your videos with Ellie was still on your browser.
She had sent it to you a while ago, wanting to show you how well it was doing, and all the positive feedback that it was receiving, you meant to watch it at the time, but never got around to it. Now, it was sitting there, collecting dust until you decided to open it.
And you knew you shouldn't have, because that chapter of your life has closed, and you intended to keep it fully closed.
But curiosity did kill the cat, didn't it?
You didn't think twice before opening it, the link quickly flashing across your screen and taking you to Ellie's page. The thumbnail is of the two of you, the last video you guys had filmed. Its you, straddling Ellie on her bed, her strong hands gripping your hips, probably forcing you to grind down on her lap.
You feel your core tighten at the sight of it.
You don't look at it much longer, or read the comments either, because you know they will all be asking where you've gone, and whether or not you were coming back.
Instead of closing your laptop and going to sleep like you should have, you kept scrolling through Ellies page. You come to find the usual, seeing that she had been live the past few nights, as well as posted a few videos for her viewers to catch up on, none of it out of the ordinary.
Something does catch your eye however.
Its a video that was posted a few nights ago, and you can barely make it out, but you can see a thumbnail of Ellies tattooed hand pushed between a girls thighs, doing what you can only assume to be fingering her.
And that girl is definitely not you.
She had found herself a new partner.
It’s no shock that she did. She’d been actively fucking other girls, someone in and out of your apartment almost every night, something that she had made sure to make very clear to you…
But there was just something about actually seeing it that hurt like hell
You slammed your laptop shut, a bit too hard, but you were suddenly filled with something foreign to you, something that you hardly felt for anyone.
Quickly grabbing you blankets and tugging them over your body, you squeezed your eyes shut to try and erase the image of Ellie with another girl from your brain, the image slowly tainting the deepest corners of your mind so that you won't ever be able to do just that.
You couldn't do this anymore.
Ellie was just as bad at talking about her feelings as you were.
Because the morning after you and her had sex, she wanted nothing more than to wake up with you, kiss you, hold you, move on from this agonizingly slow phase that you two were in, where she was allowed to do the things that she always wanted to do, just conditionally.
She wanted to wake up, and move forward whatever the fuck you and her were stuck in.
But you didn’t. You simply woke up before her, and left, leaving Ellie to feel like a fucking idiot.
Because maybe she read into the entire thing wrong, maybe you didn’t feel anything for her, maybe you really did only see her as your roommate and nothing more than that….
Maybe that look in your eye that she was sure she saw when she was fucking you, was all in her head.
So when you ran, she did too.
And soon, Ellie’s sadness turned into anger, and all she wanted to do, was hurt you the same way that you hurt her.
She wanted you to hear her with other girls, she wanted you to see her with other women on her streams, she wanted you to see what it was that you’d lost, what you’d stupidly lost when you decided to run away from her the morning after it all.
But maybe she’d taken it too far.
Because Ellie’s anger turned into something that she didn’t want, because no matter how much noise she made, how good she tried to look whenever she was getting ready to go out with some random girl, no matter what she did to make you jealous, you never batted an eyelash her way, you never once reacted to anything that she did that was directed at you for the sole purpose of getting your attention.
And not only did it further prove to Ellie that you didn’t give a fuck about her, but it also made her so much more frustrated with you.
Did you seriously not have a fucking soul? Could you not even acknowledge her? Hurt for her? Feel hurt by her? Why wasn’t it working? Why weren’t you…..why couldn’t you just…..
Why couldn’t you just fucking want her.
Ellie was truly at her last straw, because being with other women was something she already didn’t like doing, but it was slowly eating away at her, picking away at her insides and making her feel hollow inside, a shell of who she used to be when she was with you.
And when she didn’t think things could get any worse, she found you doing something she only saw in her nightmares.
She hadn’t really noticed it at first, but slowly, your belongings began to disappear from the apartment. Particularly in the living room.
Your stack of blankets would get smaller and smaller as the week went by, the dorky little figures you had littered around different shelves and the tv stand started to disappear too, little parts of you started leaving, one by one, and Ellie was too far up her own ass to even notice.
Maybe if she had, she could’ve convinced you to stay.
In all honesty? Ellie probably wouldn’t even have realized you were leaving until it was too late, the girl far too consumed in her little revenge streak to notice the slow but sure disappearance of you, the way the remnants of you slowly began to leave one by one.
It just so happened that on a day that you were packing up some of your boxes, you had left your door cracked open, thinking that Ellie wasn’t home.
She was passing by your room when she heard a soft huff, the sound quickly catching her attention as she slowly walked towards your door, catching sight of the various opened boxes scattered around your room that was already looking sparse due to packing it all the way.
That. That was the straw the broke the camels fucking back.
Because suddenly, Ellie is pushing your door open, the force from her hand making it slam against your wall, the loud sound making you flinch to look over in her direction with wide eyes.
“Ellie?” You question softly.
The sound of her name rolling off your tongue makes a shiver run down her spine, because god….had she missed the way you said it.
Her eyes are angry, eyebrows furrows together as her eyes scan your room, looking at the boxes, your half empty closet, your empty book shelf.
“What the fuck is going on here?” She spits out, her tone making you wince slightly. It’s the first time you’ve heard her speak to you in almost an entire month and it’s so fucking hostile, so pointed.
This really wasn’t how you wanted this to go.
You let out a soft sigh, bringing your palm up to ran along your face as you look down at the boxes as well, heart sinking at the thought of going.
“Look…Ellie…I was planning on telling you…I just-“ she’s quick to cut you off, walking further into your bedroom as her eyes scan the walls, watching as they began to grow emptier and emptier the further in she looked. She scoffs, her green eyes finally landing on yours, her smoldering grip enough to take your breath away.
“Bull-fucking-shit. You weren’t going to tell me anything, and you know that” she argues, nostrils flared as she stares at you with eyes filled with that same glare of hate that you saw every time she’d glaze over you within recent weeks.
And she was right. You had no intention of telling her anything. She would learn that you were gone once you were gone, because that’s what you did.
You always ran.
You let out a sigh of defeat before you step away from her, fully intending on continuing packing. You didn’t want this to stop you, or put anymore obstacles in your way of leaving. This was what you had to do, and you knew that.
“I can’t stay here anymore, Ellie…things are fucked up between us and I just…I won’t deal with it anymore” you mumble out, your voice tired, weak. A clear indication of how you felt towards the entire situation. It was draining you, and you knew that for your own well being, you had to get out.
The sight of you packing as if she wasn’t in your room, trying to figure out why you were leaving, makes her even more upset. It blinds her from your words, from the weakness in your voice, in your appearance. She ignores it because the anger she feels is much easier to indulge in.
"So that's it? You're just gonna leave? Without saying anything to me?" she barks out, her tone making you feel worse than you already do.
And then it all stops, because why the hell are you feeling bad when this isn't even your fault.
You slowly turn to Ellie, your eyebrows furrowed as you stare at her in disbelief, cocking your head to the side slowly before you start to speak.
"Are you listening to yourself right now, Ellie? Do you ever stop to think for one second that not everything is about you?" The tone of your voice is so calm, words so slow and articulated, it barely even sounds like you're mad.
And it scares you, and it scares her.
You don't stop there, you couldn't even if you wanted to.
"This wasn't my idea, none of it was. I agreed to help you because you asked it of me, and I clearly have no fucking sense of boundaries. I get that what I did was wrong, and I shouldn't have left you that morning, but no one is fucking perfect" You defend, your own breath become more shallow the more you speak, your anger and frustration finally rising to the surface.
"This isn't good for me. You aren't good for me, you've been fucking different girls every goddamn night just to hurt me, and you're a fucking liar if you deny it." you spit out, making Ellie wince slightly, yet her eyebrows never unravel from how furrowed they are, and the frown on her lips is still there.
When you said it out loud though, she realized just how bad it was.
"I did it to get your fucking attention...not to hurt you" She barely whispers, staring down at you. You can't help but laugh softly, scoffing at her words before you give her a gentle sigh.
"Oh it got my attention, Ellie. It got it so much, that I can't bare for you to have it anymore..." you mumble out softly before you turn away from her, unable to stare into her eyes for any longer.
"I don't know what happened between us that morning...but I want nothing more than to just..forget about it all" You let out meekly, feeling yourself reduce to that small ball of insecurities once again.
And Ellie finally softens when she sees it, because you never let your guard down this much.
She inhales deeply, taking a step towards you, trying to get closer to you. You don't step back, or flinch, you simply ignore her, carrying on to pack your things as if she wasn't there, standing above you.
"You hurt me too...you know" she mumbled out, her voice finally dropping that hostile tone that she had when she first walked in. You're quick to turn towards her, spinning around to set your eyes that were quickly growing redder by the second.
"And Im sorry!" you shout, your voice going the loudest it had yet, it makes Ellie flinch.
You sigh out tiredly before you bring your hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. "If I could go back and do it differently..I would..but too much has happened, Ellie...I don't..." you trail off, struggling to find the proper words before you sigh softly, finally speaking again.
"I don't see you the same way, anymore" you mumble out.
This makes Ellies heart seize up, because what do you mean by that? What are you trying to tell her?
You move to sit on your knees, you bare legs coming in contact with the cold, wooden floor as you begin packing more things in a different box. There's no more fighting, there isn't anymore arguing, or anger, it's just silent, the occasional sound of your clothes hitting each other when they hit you settle them in the box. You don't even bother to turn around and yell at Ellie, or even tell her to get out.
And maybe thats what's hurting her the most. You never yelled, you didn't cry or beg, you didn't do anything when she knew you heard her, saw her with those other girls. All of them were nothing to her, sorry attempts at trying to grab hold of your attention again, get you to show just a little bit of fucking anger, so that she knew you still felt something for her, so that she knew she still had you.
But it was clear to her with the way that you disregarded her after it all, as if she didn't even matter, that she didn't have you anymore.
Did she ever? Did she ever have a chance with you? Was she all in her head? Were you simply just a good friend? A decent roommate who promised to help her out when she needed help? Was all of it just....
Pretend?
She feels like she's running out of options, because she assumed that if anything, you two would fight and end up in a heated, passionate love making session where you two would admit what you had felt all along.
But Ellie was slowly coming to the conclusion that she was being fucking delusional.
Her decisions didn't let up thought, because soon, she's on her knees next to you, grabbing your wrists gently in her hands and pulling you to face her. She feels her heart break when you refuse, trying to pull away from her grasp, mumbling soft complaints of how you needed to finish packing.
When she finally tugs you a bit harder, forcing you to look at her, she feels the weight of her mistakes finally settle on her chest, because you're crying. Your eyes are puffy and your cheeks are stained, and it's all her fucking fault.
She bites back a whimper, tugging her bottom lip into her mouth as she feel her own throat burn with tears.
"Hey...look at me...come on...where's my pretty girl...come on.." She tries over and over again, voice breaking, making you whimper as you try tugging your arms from her grasp.
"Don't you see how fucked up this is, Ellie? We were just screaming at each other and now...now you're calling me your girl" you plead with her, the words bubbling past your lips as the mere sight of here forces more tears from your eyes, making it harder and harder to talk.
Ellie can't talk her way out of this one, not with you. She knows there isn't much she can do, or say, and she feels like she's all out of options, because you're right. All of this is so fucked up, and it makes her insides burn because she's hurt, and you're hurt, and it feels like there's nothing she can do to fix it.
She does the only thing she feels will work. She kisses you.
It's filled with everything. Passion, longing, happiness, sadness, anger, everything that had been pent up between the both of you is poured into the kiss, and it's enough to make you feel dizzy.
But you don't pull away, you melt into her, just like you always do. She feels it too, feels the way you let you defenses down, taking it as a chance to tug your wrists up and around her neck, her own arms resting on your hips as she pulls you closer, her lips working against yours.
"Im....fuck...im so sorry, baby....never meant to hurt you" She mumbles against you, her words coming out as a breathy sigh against your lips, making you moan softly against her. She pushes her tongue into your mouth, giving your waist a soft squeeze.
"M'sorry too..Ellie....shouldn't have left..." You whine against her, and she's quickly shaking her head, gently tugging you up to stand with her before she's pulling you too your bed.
"Just...lemme take care of you..alright" She hums against your lips before she gently pushes you back to lay on your bed, her own body crawling over yours, resting her weight on your body as she goes back to kissing you.
It's so slow, and sensual, and it feels like the entire world is quiet, like you're fading into her, and she's fading into you, and you both are becoming one. It feels so fucking right, and the hole that had been growing in your chest is finally filling up, the essence that is Ellie slowly acting as the medicine that you needed all along.
Ellie rolls over, gripping your hips and tugging you to straddle her waist as she lays back against your bed. Her green eyes eat you up, strong hands already running along your hips and thighs, giving you a squeeze before her hand creeps up your t shirt, pushing it up a bit before it slips under, grasping your boob and massaging it in her hands.
"Fuck...look at you...missed you so much, pretty girl....you can't even imagine.." She sighs softly under her breath, eager hands roaming your body hungrily, as if they've deprived of you for so long, missing the way your skin spilled out from under her hands, always so responsive for her.
You tug your bottom lip between your teeth as you watch her practically worshiping your body with her hands, a soft whine leaving your lips as you rest your hands on her hips, pushing up her t shirt a bit as your thumbs rub small circle into her pale hips.
Her hands rest on your hips, forcing you to grind down onto her lap, making you whine softly, the feeling her her sweats bunching up right at your core, your cotton pajama shorts leaving much too room to be exposed by her touch.
She sits up, grabbing the hem of your shirt before she tugs it off your body, groaning softly as her lips immediately latch onto your nipple, biting and sucking. You moan softly, arching your back a bit and forcing more of you to her mouth, hands wrapped around her neck, toying with the hair at the nape of her neck.
Ellie pushes you back, resting you to lay down before she tugs your pajama shorts and panties off in one go. You promptly spread your legs for her, letting her settle between them, the small gesture making her groan, her strong hands gripping your thighs, grinding against your bare pussy.
"Fuck...such a good girl for me..." she sighs softly against your lips.
You whine, reaching down and tugging at her own pants, fumbling with the waistband of her shorts that hung oh so fucking low.
"Off..wanna feel you.." You moan softly against her, resulting in a soft chuckle from her. She presses one last kiss to your lips before she nods.
"Whatever you want baby...fuck" she mumbles softly under her breath when she pulls back to start tugging her own clothes off, catching a glimpse of your soaking wet pussy and naked body in the dim light of your room.
She looks so fucking desperate, nearly tripping over her sweats as she tugs them off, tossing them somewhere else in your room. It's like she can't get the clothes off quick enough, immediately settling between your legs again once she's naked, groaning softly a the feeling of your pussy against her body.
Her eagerness makes you giggle, and Ellie feels like she's on cloud fucking nine when she hears it, so soft and gentle. She pouts softly, staring down at you while she's already moving to position her pussy over yours, tossing your leg over her shoulder.
"What are you laughing at...hm?" She questions softly, her hips slowly moving against yours as she lets out a soft moan, eyes never leaving yours.
You can barely get the words out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel her slick pussy against yours, clits bumping together in a way that has you nearly salivating.
She chuckles above you, a soft groan following the noise as her lips graze along your calf.
"Thats what I thought...fuck....your pussy is too fuckin good, princess' She moans out softly, her hips moving slowly against yours.
You moan loudly, your hand coming to grip her thigh as you move your hips in tow with hers.
"F-fuck, Ellie....you...that feels so good" you babble out, your other hand gripping the sheets beneath you as she fucks her pussy down onto yours.
Ellie smirks softly as she watches you, watches the way you fall apart beneath her.
"Thats my fuckin girl....you're the only fucking one I need...fuck...." She groans, turning her head a bit to kiss your calf again before her teeth sink into you, biting and sucking your skin, making you moan loudly.
You feel her speed up, hips growing desperate as she chases both hers and your orgasm, making your head spin as your nails dig into her thigh, sure to leave marks in the morning.
"Im....god...Im close Ellie.....fuuuckkkk....dont stop" you gasp out, low, lust filled eyes staring up at her as she continues bullying your pussy with hers, both of your arousal squelching together, making the most explicit noise you've ever fucking heard.
"Come on baby...want you to cum for me...can you do that? Fuck...I feel it too....that's it, pretty girl.." Ellie is babbling too, her lust clouded braun barely uttering words that are comprehensible.
You see her eyes squeeze shut, her moans getting louder and more high pithed, sounding so fucking pretty above you.
You feel like you'll explode, your back arching as the familiar feeling settles in your core, your pussy getting wetter and wetter as you feel your orgasm grow closer.
"A-ah! Ellie!" You scream out as you come undone beneath her.
And she isn't far behind, leaning down and crashing her lips against yours, forcing you to swallow her moans as she cums hard against your pussy, the both of you breathing hard as her hips sputter, pussy sliding around sloppily against yours as she becomes so fucked out, that she loses her rhythm completely.
And just like before, she lays there, on top of you, trying to catch her breath, face tucked against your neck, hands keeping you close, as if you'll disappear in thin air at any given moment.
There's so much going through your head, trying to figure out what it is that happens from here, where you and here go, what steps to take after, all of which come up with blank answers whenever you try to figure out what to do.
You assume she will fall asleep on you as she did before, knock out immediately and leave you to lay there with your plaguing thoughts.
She doesn't, though. You hear a soft hum from her lips, her hands squeeze your waist gently, before she speaks against your neck.
"I love you...so much.." she sighs out, her voice breaking a bit as if shed break down at any given moment.
You aren't sure what you'll do from this point on, but you do know one thing.
You won't run away from Ellie, ever again.
#ellie williams#ellie williams smut#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie tlou#ellie x y/n#ellie the last of us#ellie x you
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why people don't like you ₊˚⊹ 💬🎀
okay this is not as harsh as the title suggests but i wanted to put it literally bcuz this is a problem i've struggled with for the longest time. im gonna be brutally honest here. there are so many reasons why ur not of the social status you want to be or don't have as many friends as you like yadda yadda yadda. SO ,, here's my thoughts on why that's the case , and how to help! 🫶🏻🎀💬
──★ ˙ ̟🎀you're fake
whether its cuz ur trying to "fit in" or because you have a completely different personality stored in the back for everyone you meet, ur fake. its very simple. its not necessarily a bad thing, it just means ur insecure.
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
stop trying so hard girl. it's not that deep. there are 8 billion people on this earth and counting, u really think this person's gonna matter when ur living ur dreams and thriving even more than you ever imagined you could? no. move on. next please!
find out who the fuck you genuinely are. you're never gonna live your life if YOU aren't the one living it. once you get a start on finding who YOU are it's gonna make you more authentic -> more magnetic -> more attractive in every single way, including social.
u arent obligated to fit in. think about the type of people that you see in the street and you stare a while at, the type of people who stand out from a crowd for whatever reason, the people u look up to, ur idols who you could never imagine to meet in a thousand years; do you think they fit in? do you think merging with a crowd is what made them appeal to you so much? no. think abt that.
wake the fuck up and realise u deserve better. why are you neglecting yourself by hiding yourself from the world? would u do that to anyone else? would u get anyone else to change themselves just so they can fit in? girl get a hold of urself!!! you've been through so much and youve made it so far and yet you're still pretending to be someone you aren't?? you deserve SO much better. people who truly deserve you will always love you for you, no one else.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too awkward / anxious
i want to preface this by saying theres nothing wrong w this at all and i completely understand but ur gonna face some problems of people interacting with you. or you interacting w them. or both. i was diagnosed w generalised anxiety disorder when i was 11, so i understand how much this can impact ur life not just socially but in all areas.
⭐𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
first thing im gonna mention to preface is this can be a symptom of an underlying condition u may need to get checked out. if its impacting ur everyday life please seek therapy, i am not a professional and cannot help u w this, even if i'd like to. i love u ♡
find what is making u anxious. what about social interaction is scary to you, and why? why does interacting w others make u nervous? is there a specific thing ur worried about or u find nervewracking? always. find. the root!
have compassion and empathy and patience w yourself. its perfectly okay and normal to some extent to feel like this and of course we're all gonna feel like this sometimes but its important to treat urself with care, especially in these times.
treat urself as u would a child. i recommend treating urself like a friend a lot but when ur in a delicate and emotional state like this its better to treat urself like ur ur own child. take care of urself with the same love and attentiveness as you would your own children and give yourself time and take care of yourself to work through the issue. ♡
break things down and take it slow and simple. break it into steps and PUT. YOURSELF. FIRST until u feel able to go back out into the public again and be That Girl ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur straight up mean
this can be anywhere from just being generally disinterested in people, being constantly negative all of the time to being just really shitty and rude. we all have the same potentials and possibilities but sometimes we can fall into the trap of negative patterns when interacting with others, which is okay. everyone messes up sometimes. but the important thing is is that we fall back out of that and become even better for it!
💬𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
try ur best to put ur ego aside and think about yourself from an outside perspective. would you wanna be friends with you? if you were another person, how would you think people feel around you?
(🗒🎀 note: if that's too difficult, create someone in ur head or mentally assign ur traits, the good and bad, to someone you dont really know, and think ab how youd feel around them. insecure? jealous? confident? excited? nervous? think about it.)
i know it sounds weird but literally just sit down and talk to people close to u when you get the chance or the opportunity comes up and ask if anything you do comes off rude or blunt or abrupt or any sort of negative trait you think might be the issue here. or just subtly (or directly, either one works) try and find out their opinions on you so u can figure out if that aligns w what and how u wanna be, and then how you can change that.
just be generally more sweet and polite. people are easily gonna like you more if ur not a total dick. stop being mean to people, say please and thank you, compliment strangers, smile at everyone, put ur ego aside cuz its really not that deep girl.
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 ur too nice / people pleaser
okay being nice is not a bad thing. there is a fine line between being THE nice girl and being A nice girl. there is a fine line between being kind and being a pushover. you don't have to sacrifice urself to be nice to people. being nice should go both ways!
🧁𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
first things first, like all things and like i've said a billion times before, you need to address the root of what is causing you to act like this. this should always be the first thing you do when addressing any problem, esp w urself. why are you acting like this? what is causing you to endlessly seek approval like this and sacrifice urself in the process? think.
start saying no to people, even to the littlest things. if you want to do it then sure, but start saying no so much more often. it gives you a sense of control and shows you only you have a choice in the things you do in ur life, no one else.
define kindness. is what ur getting in return to this unconditional self sacrifice genuine kindness, or friendship, or respect, or attention, or whatever else you assume you're receiving from all of this? only you can answer that. ask urself what the genuine meaning of all the things ur trying to gain from this are and then see if that aligns w what ur receiving. (🗒🎀 note: also read this post of mine for more on this! ♡)
again, therapy is gonna help a lot w this. if this is making an impact on ur life, social or otherwise, then i am not a professional and cannot help u w this (as much as id like to). ily and i believe in u ♡
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 you seem "unapproachable / intimidating"
people are threatened by talent. people are threatened by beauty. people are threatened by what they aren't. so, congrats! you've achieved your goal! 🩷💭
🫶🏻𓂃 ࣪˖ how do you deal with this?
i told my therapist once that people have told me i seem rude, unapproachable, intimidating, etc. and i felt really upset about it because i dont wanna come off that way. i wanna be nice and approachable and someone people can talk to. and she asked me what i would do if my favourite celebrity or famous person or whatever was my age and was walking through my school. i told her i'd think they were really cool and want to be friends with them, but wouldn't be sure how to go about it bcuz they'd be super intimidating. think about that.
🗒️🎀 note: but if you do find that people say this or act like this around you a lot, then you might need to do some introspection and ask urself if anything ur doing makes people feel like that rather than their own insecurities and mindset. ♡
i just want to quickly add that not everybody is going to like you. everyone feels a general sense of dislike from time to time and this post is what i mean by that, NOT how to make everyone like you bcuz that's literally impossible and something you shouldn't waste ur time and energy on. as harsh as i may have been in this post ur amazing and i love u no matter how much improvement you have to do ♡ i love you and am proud of you and you should be proud of yourself too!
all my love... 💬🎀🫶🏻💗
#ive been working on this for aaaaages now and i love love love it#i hope u like it i tried to sound as non mean as possible#this is js something i thought about in maths one time and decided to turn into a post 💗#anyway i hope u like it#im so hungry mmmffff#im going to eat my idnner#it girlism ୨𖹭୧#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#pink pilates princess#girlhood#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#girly stuff#girlcore#girlworld#it girl energy#pink lifestyle#glow up#that girl#becoming that girl#social issues#social skills#mental health#mental health support#girl things#hyperfemininity#hyper feminine#divine feminine
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𝐁𝐅 𝐇𝐀𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒 — zb1
↳ pairing: ot9!zb1 x gn!reader
↳ warning: fluff for those w a sweet tooth <3
— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐈𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆
↳ moving you by your waist
- sidewalk rule is something HE LIVES BY
- when you’re blocking his way he’ll gently just grab your waist and beckon you to move UGH
- he is so boyfriend i will die
- he lives for the flustered look on your face EVERY TIME HE DOES IT
- you swear you will never get used to it
- you are walking on the side closer to the street? NOT GNNA HAPPEN UNDER HIS WATCH!
- you’re a little too close to a high ledge? NOT UNDER HIS WATCH
- you’re a little lost?? he’ll guide you by gently pushing you by the waist EHEHEHHE
- got me giggling n all..
(rest of the members under the cut!)
— 𝐙𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐎
↳ is constantly taking candid pictures of you :(( (he has a whole album he organized once a week on his phone)
- he wishes he could inject your reaction tho finding out every time he takes a picture
- he finds you so endearing istg
- he will purposely turn his ringer on so you can hear the camera snap
- sometimes he already awaits your reaction to the first snap so he takes a picture while your eyes are wide in realization
- he treasures it forever (it’s his lockscreen)
- i can imagine you guys being on face time while you are getting ready for the day and he just does the face time screen shot thing
- hes so boyfriend im afraid 😣😣 (pt2)
— 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐁𝐈𝐍
↳ always takes one flower from the bouquets he buys you to know when to buy you a new one
- we need more hanbins in the world 💔💔
- this man buys you a bouquet without you even asking he is literal perfection
- he sets the one flower on his window sill and always makes sure to check it everyday before leaving for work to know if he has to buy you a new one or not </3
- the first time he did it he texted you “hey since the last bouquet died do u prefer lilies or peonies?”
- you went feral LIKE HOW DID HE KNOW??!!
- and then when you went over to his house one day you saw a flower similar to the ones in your bouquet and you connected the dots
- he goes to the same flower shop every time too
- he goes to a locally managed one!! he thinks the flowers are prettier there than at any supermarket
- the old lady who runs the store is basically his second mother and told him to bring you so you two could meet
- he is so boyfriend it is actually crazy (pt3)
— 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐖
↳ buys everything that reminds him of you
- he is so adorable
- he’s out with his friends and he finds a plushie that resembles you?? yeah he’ll buy it
- some times he gifts them to you but sometimes he’ll keep it
- when you ask him about it he’ll be like “oh it made me think of you!”
- one time you noticed a cute plushie in the backseat of his car and you asked him where and why he bought it
- he said “it reminds me of you! that way every time im driving it feels like you’re with me :)”
- you melt EVERYTIME
- HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt4)
- you guys build a ikea shelf for your room solely used for displaying matthew’s trinkets he bought thinking of you :(
- he says its the yn museum LOLL
— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐄
↳ constantly bumps into you as you walk
- it sounds annoying but it’s actually really endearing :(
- times he can’t hug you he’ll touch you by teasing and bumping into you
- he’s also distracted and just so comfortable and immersed in your conversation that he can’t walk straight
- (but he doesn’t tell you that)
- sometimes he almost pushes the both of you off the side walk LOL
- he finds moments where being playful but also being close to you are his favourite memories
- sometime when you get tired of it you just hold his hand which suddenly makes him stop hehe
- he just wants to be close to you is all
- and tease you <33
- boyfriend coded (pt5)
— 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐍𝐑𝐔𝐈
↳ sets food on your plate whenever you eat out
- AHHH THIS MAKES ME SMILE SO HARD
- i feel like hes not the most openly affectionate person,,, like he shies away from pda n all that
- so instead he shows his love through his actions!!!
- you guys are out eating at a kbbq place and hes just placing some meat or rice on your plate </3
- he’s so attentive w/ it too like when he notices the pile is slowly getting smaller, he takes more off of the grill and sets it on your plate :(((
- when you take notice he smiles, places more and goes “here you go” AHHHH
- once u got to the last piece on your pile its tradition to feed it to him :))
- he happily accepts
- he’s so lovely :((
- and so boyfriend </3 (pt6)
— 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐆𝐘𝐔𝐕𝐈𝐍
↳ touching you with his cold hands
- LIVES for harmless teasing
- he’ll take his hands and cup your cheeks with them :((
- he loves the squeal and the cute little face you make :((
- HE JUST LOVES YOU!!!
- sometimes you guys are cuddling in bed and he’ll put his hands under your shirt and rest them on your stomach
- you squeal again which = happy happy gyuvin
- he always apologizes w kisses afterward tho :)
- now you are both happy
- GAWD HE IS SO BOYFRIEND (pt7)
— 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐆𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐊
↳ whenever you ask for one of his hoodies, he sprays a fresh spritz of his cologne on it
- he likes any opportunity to give you his hoodies :))
- he acts like he doesn’t see you basking in the cologne the hoodie absorbed the first few times he gives you his hoodie
- so now he makes sure to give it an extra spray before giving it to you :))
- he’s considered buying you the cologne as a gift once actually
- but he likes the feeling of keeping the secret that he knows how much you like the scent so he decides against it :)
- he likes seeing your smile every time you put one of his hoodies on not knowing he was admiring hehe
- bf coded (pt8)
— 𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐘𝐔𝐉𝐈𝐍
↳ compares you to cute and funny animal pictures
- im tempted to make a seperate imagine for this its just so cute
- you’ll just be going about your day and he’ll text you
- he’ll just send the picture of an animal and say “you :)”
- you ask him to elaborate (he has picsart downloaded just for this moment) so he sends a collage of a picture of you resembling the actions or face the animal makes
- he is so cuteness i will die
- when you guys are hanging out he’ll take it phone screen and open up a picture of an animal and hold the screen right next to you face
- he inspects it like he’s an artist and just giggles
- you live for it tho
- oh can’t forget about the times he would ask you to do a pose and you comply reluctantly and he takes a picture and adds it to his collection of pictures that resemble an animal :)
- yea he has an entire album on his camera roll
navi. mlist.
#. . . 🖋️ zhng’s prose#zb1#zb1 x reader#zb1 fluff#zb1 imagine#zerobaseone#zerobaseone x reader#ki gyuvin x reader#gyuvin x reader#han yujin x reader#zhanghao x reader#sung hanbin x reader#kim jiwoong x reader#shen quanrui x reader#park gunwook x reader#gunwook x reader#kim taerae x reader#taerae x reader#seok matthew x reader
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defender
liked by y/n and 5,166,266 others
tchalamet babygirl
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timmysgf eughh brother eughhh
florencepugh you guys are the besttt
laurieslaurence mis padres
fxckyn do you think she forces him to post this stuff
tchalamet do you think you can shut up and log out forever ?
leexyn AHHH GOT YOUR ASS YOU MAD
liked by rachelzegler, chappellroan and 3,277,222 others
y/n no one knows about the words that we whisper
view all 91,266 comments
ynsblanket I'm so happy that she's surrounded by ppl that really love and care for her
busyyn fr she gets so much hate for no reason
sweetyn omg taylor and y/n crossover slayy
tchalamet 🥰🥰🥰
fuxkyn she always has to post him for likes so embarrassing
tchalamet and what do you post for your 3 followers? constant bullshit? does anyone even see it???
goodyyn ate her up LMAOOO
rachelzegler we've gotta sit around a campfire like once a month forever now
y/n liked
y/n no like let's make it a tradition fr
tsgf bro she needs a job
tchalamet she has one. unlike you
tchalamet just posted a story!
caption- my one and only
@timandynupdates just tweeted- NEW photos from this past week of Timothée and Y/n on vacation. They appeared to be having a deep conversation, as Y/n was crying at a certain point, with Chalamet consoling her.
@yoursongyn replied- ITS CAUSE OF ALL THESE ASSHOLES WHO THINK THEYRE TIMOTHÉES GIRLFRIEND ISTG
@ynsucks replied- THEY BROKE UP OMG
@lauriesrings replied to @ynsucks- bitch they're literally kissing after stfu are you dumb
@pinksyn replied- yall need to behave before they both turn off their comments. or worse and get off social media completely
@kylesgf replied- oh my goddd she's so overdramatic
y/n just posted a story!
caption- nothing and no one makes me happier than you do. @tchalamet 💕
liked by y/n, tayrussell and 4,166,266 others
tchalamet I love feeling like nothing else matters when im with you.
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y/n i love you
fuxkyn ughhhh
florencepugh I miss you both!!
tsgf I've had enough of this bitch
tchalamet that's crazy cause I was just thinking the same thing about you!
tsgf wtf. i'm not supporting you anymore.
tchalamet thank god
zendaya yall disgust me every time we hang out
tchalamet and y/n liked
directyn TIMMY SHUT THEM UPPPP FINALLY
liked by sabrinacarpenter, tchalamet and 4,717,223 others
y/n is it new years yet?
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rachelzegler jesus was seen.
liked by y/n
laurieslaurence MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLDDD
tchalamet goddess.
liked by y/n
paulsgf why are all the comments nice😭 why we lyinggg
tchalamet the only lying going on is your parents when they said they were proud of you
spideyyn oh my g- 💀💀💀 LMAOOOO
paulsarrakis bro he hates these ppl LMAOOO
tchalamet yup
tchalamet like seriously babe, what the fuuuuck😩
liked by y/n
tchalamet just posted a story!
caption- golden globes ��😳
@celebnews just tweeted- Y/n and Timothée Chalamet seen at a golden globes after party
@carpenyn replied- the hand placement in his story is killinggg me omgg hottest couple ever
@paulslauries replied- I rly admire y/n, she's shown so much resilience with the way she's been treated online, and she doesn't seem to let it affect her. mad respect 🙏🏽
@bluesyn replied- oh to be a fly on the wall for their convos
@mistleyn replied- THEYRE SO CUTE BRO WTFFFF😭😭😭😭😭💕💕💕🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
@timmylaurie replied- I love how he constantly defends her, even though he shouldn't have to but people are fucking weirdos
@fuxkyn replied to @timmylaurie- we're not weird, we just know that he can do better and she's no good for him!!
@badideayn replied to @fuxkyn- yk you're just proving their point 💀
y/n just posted a story!
liked by y/n, oliviarodrigo, rachelzegler and 11,543,555 others
tchalamet why is it so hard to let people live their lives? I don't know you, you definitely don't know me, and you never will. you don't know what goes on behind closed doors and the things that we talk about because people don't know how to act. that ends now, please stop. enough is enough. thank you
comments on this post have been limited
rachelzegler it had to be said! people can be cruel, I know firsthand how it can be
tchalamet liked
florencepugh well said!
sabrinacarpenter !!!!!
justinbieber some people will never get it. you guys got this!!
y/n JUSTIN BIEBER?!??!!
liked by oliviarodrigo, tchalamet and 6,266,277 others
y/n all mine
view all 121,555 comments
laurieslaurence TELL THEMMMMM
tchalamet my favorite person
logicalyn cryinggg they're so cute 🥺😭💕
kylesballs okay she's actually so cool wtf
curlyyn he'll choose her every time 🥺😭😭😭 I love them
liked by y/n, zendaya and 12,188,332 others
tchalamet my forever
view all 142,277 comments
jowegottahaveitout crying. he won't let them win!!
stayyn I KNOW THATS RIGHTTTT
y/n we're cute or whateverrrr
tchalamet liked
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#timothee chalamet#timothee chalamet fanfiction#timothee chalamet imagine#timothee chalamet x reader#timothee imagine#timothee x reader#timothée chalamet#timothee chalamet au#timothee chalamet x you#timothée chalamet imagine#timmy chalamet#timothee fanfic#timothee chalamet smau#timothée chalamet smau#timothée chalamet social media au
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29 Asks! :DD Thank you! :}}📦
@holly-opal @tallchest13-blog
There was not a single thing I liked about the trailer. Not a single thing.
Not the visuals, not the hinted at Jumanji style story, not the casting, I hated all of it. The thing I hated the most was Jack Black being casted as Steve. 💀
I hated his voice for Bowser, I hate him playing as Steve. Sooooo much hatred and disappointment for this trailer 💀💀💀
AAAAA THANK YOU!! :))))))
I have made my own version of Tarr! :D They are not intended to be cute 💀
Soft? :0
I haven't heard of it <:0 google seems to suggest its a Roblox game..?
@spirited-splashes
AAAA IM GLAD TO HEAR IT!! :DDDD TEAM PLATONIC!!! :))))
@pokefan250
I'm pretty 50/50- I GOT THE 8 WINS IN FALL GUYS JUST HOURS BEFORE THE CHALLANGE ENDED SO THAT MADE ME HAPPYbut then my health came back to bite me and I had a very scary health day :x sooo.....
Other than Barnaby's mom living out on a big farm away from the neighborhood- I don't actually have many ideas! <:D
And I had no plans for the neighbors to have cars.. but now I'm thinking of giving Eddie a cute little mail car :))
Yeah I wouldn't use the word "miss"... miss makes me feel like home cares about Wally in a tender way and wants him to come back because it cares about him.. that's not quite the right vibe..
Home doesn't want Wally to leave, and it wants him to come back when he's gone.. but that's the only way I'd word it. Kind'a cold and with unknown intentions..
Also thank you so much!! :DDD
The timing if this is quite humorous. (I spent the last week making 10+ frog plushies)
@pewpewae
I imagine out of all the neighbors, Poppy and Barnaby would have the most knowledge on basic first aid and home remedies. Considering they both grew up way out in the sticks, you're bound to get hurt or sick and not have anyone nearby to help you. So they learned from their parents how to take care of themselves or others when they're unwell :))
If someone is injured or sick though, I can imagine that it might stress Poppy out to come running to her screaming- so people probably turn to Barnaby for those sorts of things <XD
I thought that Howdy gets up early and comes home late. So out of all the neighbors, Sally gets to spend the most time with him because he's almost always awake and out and about! :)
Howdy is also always on the move- doing things around the shop and working. Usually most neighbors cant follow him around from job to job fast enough- but Sally can! :)) She's been able to get to know him really well and they get along like two peas in a pod!
Howdy is witty and quick with his responses. He rarely stutters, so these two can just chatter away for hours and hours!
When it comes to worrying about him,, it is just the cold thing. But Howdy "not liking the cold" only scratches the surface of it. Howdy practically shuts down in the winter time, ALL the neighbors worry about him..
In the wintertime, Howdy is one lullaby away from collapsing on the floor and falling asleep 💀 the cold completely destroys his energy.. Also he's constantly hungry. He really slows down and starts running into things, forgetting things, sleeping in and being really hard to wake up.. <:/ and he gets sick pretty often in the winter so he's just not having a good time-
Huh, I've never seen anyone take that direction with Ingo! :0
@anewbieartist356
HELOOOO!! :}}}}}}}
AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :)) IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE HIM! :}}}}}}
And yeah, his hair probably take a few hours to braid and I bet bedhead is his worst yet more common nightmare 💀
(Referencing this post)
WARHHRGG SOBBS LOUDLLYYY!!! 😭😭💞💞THANOYU SO MUCH!!! 🥹🥹🥹💞💞💞💞
@abaroo
I feel like unless Home deliberately interacted with Barnaby and wanted him to know its alive, he would never suspect Home to be a living entity. Barnaby assumes that Wally has bad anxiety and its amplified when he's alone.. thus inviting him over to his house just to get out of his own home for a bit, or spending the night at Wally's house..
Barnaby has stayed over at Wally's house a lot and Home watches him too.. but in the end Barnaby chalks up the weird feelings he gets to just the worry over Wally..
I've never played the game, but I love it :) the fandom can be a real pain sometimes..
Currently I'm only really drawing/thinking of the base Unovan pokédex, not the pokédex from black 2 and white 2. (There are some select exceptions to this)
Mostly because the second dex is HUGE. And because Pokémon white was the game I grew up playing- so that's the one I wanna pull the Pokémon from. Ngl though, I might not be able to resist incorporating Metagross from the second dex.. 👀👀
Also my violet team wont make any canon cameos, but I did draw a doodle of Grim and V as slimes! :}}
@holly-opal
AAAA THANK YOU!! :DDDD
Meow meow! :))
(Thank you! I wish the same for you! :} )
@minnesotamedic186 (Referencing this post)
AAAA THANKYIU!! :))) I have a couple ideas for them but I'm having a hard time writing them out 😔
@msdamneighty
AAA I LUB YOU TOO! :))))))
@neo-metalscottic
Hello! I've unfortunately not been doing well health wise.. this week has been a rough patch.. but I'm hangin in there as best I can! <:) The fam says hi! XDDD
As for your questions, the fam has been blessed with never being too cold or too hot. So they probably like the winter time because that's when I'm at my happiest :)) I've never given them snow- but I'm sure they'd love to play in it! And yes, Gerald absolutely desires to A-pose out on the garden XDDDD
I typically play as Pit or Metakight. As for the others, I wonder..
Maybe Bibi would play as Luigi, Cici as Bowser, Jangles as Peach and Gerald as Wario XD
Also thank you for the ask! :DD I look forward to your next one but no pressure! :)))))
@littlelightfish
Its very rare that anyone from the crew hides their illness.. If someone hid an illness that's a big no no because they can infect other members of the crew. Plus it's really easy to tell if they're sick-
Also thankfully, (aside from Octo that one time-) no one really hides injuries. If the wound is in an embarrassing spot and need help, they'll probably just get the crewmate they are most comfortable with to help them..
I think Tuna only has that gnarly hook hand, he doesn't have anything else to put on in its place 💀
I can imagine when he first got his prosthetic arm he probably hurt himself on it once or twice <:( eventually he got used to it though and didn't hurt himself anymore-
Who made his prosthetic arm.. hmm.. I kind'a imagined he put it together himself.. Hence why it looks impractical and dangerous 💀
I didn't have plans for him to miss anyone... perhaps his mother but she's gone.. at least he doesn't miss anyone from his old crew.
After a battle/conflict on the ship, the very first thing Tuna does is go looking for Ellie..🥺
I imagine rolls are Tunas favorite food because he's kind of a picky eater. So some beautifully made plain bread rolls are hard to beat! :))
I didn't intend for Red to have any siblings,, his family was mostly his rotten mom and dad. :(
I think Coco and Cuttlefish get along better than you might think! :)) They're both rather sassy and have a lot of the same opinions. Other than Tuna, there isn't anyone that Coco butts-heads with :))
Due to the varying body types, the crew typically doesn't steal each others clothes 😅 but I can see Red stealing Coco's coats and boots from time to time 🥺
I haven't thought much about Ellies family.. perhaps she lived with her cruddy uncle before running off with Octo and Seafoam? :0
Thankfully like you said- other than Octo, nobody's gotten hurt so badly they thought they'd lose them. <:)
I'm afraid I don't Understand that question about Red.. D:> But Blue Beauty's favorite food is probably krill! :0
And lastly, WAAHGRGGT THANOUU SO MUCH FOR THE ASKS SND INTEREST IN MY OCSSS!!!😭😭💞💞💞
@loud-kid2
While I have no plans to add E. Gadd to my AU, I have made my own version of King Boo! :))
Aww! I still need to work on Julies sisters, but I can see this being the direction I lean towards! :))
Wally would probably stay home and try to just recover.. but if Home his illness starts making his anxiety/paranoia way worse- I can see Barnaby staying over for a few nights to take care of him. Perhaps even bringing Wally to his house if he thinks it might help- :0
#my response#minecraft movie#slime rancher#ingo and emmet#welcome home#cookie run ocs#my ocs#cookie run#cookie run kingdom#factual fam
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Congratulations on your followers milestone! Can I ask for the prompt "first fight" with Dabi?
Scars and All
Dabi/Touya x Reader
Details/Warnings: lowkey toxic relationship, arguing, kinda angsty LMAO i'm sorry i cant help but make dabi angsty. hurt/comfort i think, angst to fluff? dabi is trying, okay? also dabi is called touya in this fic!
Word Count: 957
hello thank you sm for your ask and the congratulations :) i hope you like this, i really like dabi bc 1) hes hot lol and 2) hes such a well written character. also i'm going to start writing in all lowercase bc its what im used to and upper case drives me crazy!!
loneliness was something that consumed you constantly. it was a scary feeling sometimes, especially because of the things it could drive someone to do.
you wished you didn't feel like this, but you couldn't help it.
before getting into a relationship with touya, you knew of the lifestyle he lived and how much of his time it took up. at first you thought you could handle it, but over time you soon realized that wasn't true. hours of him being gone quickly turned into days, sometimes even weeks and it was driving you crazy. you really wanted to try and continue to sit compliantly and let him do what he wished to do, but you were at your wits end.
sometimes you wondered why you even continued to put up with him, especially when you knew deep down that he'd probably choose to continue committing villainous acts over your relationship.
but you knew the answer to that-it was because you loved him, and sometimes love can make you do crazy things.
so now here you were; sitting on the old couch in your living room. the edges of the fabric having frayed ends and burn marks here and there from the moments touya let his temper get the best of him.
you can't remember how long you've been sitting there anxiously, waiting for your boyfriend to get home, but you felt your heart beat faster when you heard the front door being unlocked.
you wiped your sweaty palms on your pants and took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself to confront touya, who sighed as he walked through the door and his heavy boots thudding along with each step.
he walked over to you and threw himself down on the couch, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him. moments like this made it hard to stay mad.
he placed a kiss on your temple, "hey. you miss me?"
you fiddled with your fingers as you leaned further into his chest, "of course i did. i'm glad you're home."
he tilted his head down to look at you, "then how come you don't sound happy, huh?" he asked, squeezing your shoulder as he did so.
you frowned, knowing he'd caught onto your bad mood already. he was way too perceptive sometimes.
"i am happy touya, i promise." you insisted, "it's just..."
"it's just what?"
you sat up from your position and faced him, but it was hard to look him in the eyes. "i just wanted to talk to you about something that's been bothering me."
he looked at you for a moment, expressionless, making you even more nervous until he said, "alright, what is it?"
you took a deep breath.
"you're never home touya, and i miss you." you frowned, "i worry about you and when you're gone for so long i get lonely. i miss spending time with you."
he groaned, "babe, do you not understand why i'm gone? or do i need to tell you, is that it?" he asked.
you regretted this now.
"no, i know why but it's just-"
"if you know why, then why do you fucking ask me?!" he yelled, making you shrink into yourself. you two had bickered over things before and there were even times when you needed space from each other, but touya had never yelled at you like this.
you could feel your eyes prick with tears and the lump in your throat grow, "touya don't yell at me!" you cried.
"i'm yelling at you so you get this through your god damn head!" he snapped, "i can't be here, sitting on my ass like you every fucking day. i have shit i need to do to make my plans happen!"
you gasped at his words. did he really think that's all you did?
"you know damn well i don't just stay at home on my ass, touya! i work too!" you said, tapping his chest with your finger as you pointed it at him.
"i buy the groceries! i make the food! i wash your blood stained clothes! i do everything i can, but you don't know because you're never here!" you yelled, taking a deep breath after so you could continue speaking.
you sighed heavily and spoke softly, your energy gone from yelling. "you're never here touya..." you sniffed, letting the tears run down your cheeks. you brought your hands up to your eyes to wipe them away, "i love you, so i miss you. i just wish you were home more so i don't have to spend my nights all alone."
touya was breathing heavily, but sitting silently as he processed your words. he was perceptive, sure, but he wasn't really good with emotions and dealing with people when they were upset.
feeling guilty, he wrapped his arms around your crying figure and hugged you tightly to his chest. he brought a hand up to your head and stroked it gently, shushing your cries. you stayed like that until your crying had become sniffles with occasional hiccups.
"i'm sorry," he said softly, "i'm sorry i'm always gone. i fucking suck at this, i don't know how to be here for you... but i'm going to do better now, for you, okay? i love you too. i don't say that enough."
you brought your hands away from your face and wrapped your arms around his waist, leaning your head against his beating heart and closing your eyes.
"as long as you try, touya. i know you're not perfect, and that's okay with me. i love you the way you are."
"scars and all?" he asked jokingly, making you giggle.
"scars and all."
authors note
love ya!
#@angels-fantasy#fanfiction#fanfic#anime#writers on tumblr#my hero academia#dabi#dabi x reader#dabi x you#mha dabi#touya todoroki#touya x reader#angst with a happy ending#angst#mha angst#hurt/comfort
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𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍🐚🧁
𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬 periods is basically extreme cramps + heavy bleeding
𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧 can’t hide their hatred or jealousy, especially if aspected to Ac. If you literally said anything mean to them no matter how small they’re going to keep it in their minds forever!, even more than their happy memories with you.
𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐀𝐂 should get an award for this fascinating disgusted stare they pull whenever they see your face and you happen to be on their hate list. Istg it’s more degrading than 10 Capricorns glares combined, it’s just.. makes me wanna cry.
𝐂𝐚𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐧 + 𝐀𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐮𝐬 literally have no respect to authority figures.. even if it isn’t shown (which is hardly) they hate on them 24/7, especially if these individuals have Pluto, mars, Uranus in the 10th house!, we don’t wanna talk about it trust me… especially if they are into politics.. oh jesus
𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬 know how to relate to you in a conversation, even if you literally just met them like 10 minutes ago, they are the type of people whom you’ll just feel like you’ve known them for an eternity.
𝟖𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧’𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 isn’t really that magnetic as portrayed, tbh as an individual who has this placement, i think it gives you a very weird relationship with men.. like you may be scared of them or just can’t make a conversation with them, it’s kind of uncomfortable when your around them. I think that maybe because im still young i can’t understand the power of it?..
𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐬 are the people who grew up in a shitty neighborhood, but it’s lowkey hard to believe because now they have 10 mansions in the best community out there.. like it’s impossible to figure they were living in such a place from how much they changed. It’s really admirable🤍.
𝟏𝟏𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐞 knows how to make everyone’s life better, but not their own, they help everybody but can’t solve their own problem.
𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝟏𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 babies mothers might have had a near death experience while giving birth to them, these are the type of kids who might get born early, or born accidentally, it’s just a painful birth in general, same thing with saturn 1st housers, your mother might’ve gone through a difficult birth.
𝟓𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐬 feel that their brothers hate them constantly, but trust me it’s not, also they might feel like they aren’t special in their families, they feel like they have nothing unique.
𝟏𝟐𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐬… why do you just like sadness???? Please im begging you stop playing the victim😭 however i don’t really blame them since crying makes them release their anger or just unwanted energy.
𝐋𝐞𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧 🤝 validation bitches Its me i am bitches btw.
#astrology observations#astrology aspects#astrology planets#astrology notes#astrology degrees#astrology houses#astro placements#astro observations#astro notes#astrotips#astrology#astro chart
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i don't really follow gmm couples closely but i thought firstkhao was one of gmm's biggest, what do you mean they're not that popular in thailand 😭😭
asdfghjkjhgf okay??? soo all this started because I was at my LAST straw when I saw a fan complaining that gmm prejudiced against first and he needs more work on twt (he already works *SO* much) and after having to see a series of gmm crits that were basically [insert false causalities/ metaphysically impossible demands] I lost my mind a little. [but actually its because im already pretty cuckoo bananas but I digress]
Then @fromthedepthsandbeyond brought to my attention this estimate (are you the op?) of events and brand sponsorships from last year where it shows that FirstKhao as a CP are in fact extremely popular but not at all popular as solo artists. And unfortunately I think this is just reality - they work really well together but I was actually both their 'solo' fans before they paired up. More khaotung than First and they are unfortunately just a little too kooky for mainstream popularity. I genuinely think Joong is trying to help Khaotung with roping him into TikTok dances and constantly promoting him on his own channel and IG broadcast because boy do First and Khaotung do nothing mainstream on IG. its only happy birthdays, promo work, promo cp, promo each other and khaotung's blurry artsy fuckboi photos. What can I say, that's what I like, that's what the people who like them like. I hope they don't change (but I know they're trying to). I would say, that actually they are quite popular given how far they veer from traditional masculinity...like they're pretty queer? Gun's numbers are exactly the same as them. Like I don't think GMM can do anything about that. I genuinely don't think GMM can do anything about the next bit either (at least in regards to FK they are very much fucking up other things)
What I was a little surprised by perhaps was this report by another fan who went to their building this summer (2024) and FK just had a mural on the second floor basement. I know that at some point they had some type of pillar on the ground level. Now, the events numbers are outdated and I follow them on socmed fairly close - they might not be getting sponsorships but they're not jobless. even at the times they're quiet or disappear when they resurface it turns out that they were series prepping or in workshops.
I don't know what to say, they're very queer coded, they take challenging jobs and are involved in projects and with creators that are invested in making some unique art which is rare at gmmtv something that everyone here loves to incessantly yell about (for good reason at times).
I don't know how to say this so that it doesn't sound totally insane but to be more popular they have to act straighter???? They actually have to look like they want to fuck a woman, like at least that they think about it instead of just each other. Like they tried so hard to make First's character straight in blacklist -A VALIANT attempt one would say and he still ended up having more chemistry with Drake and the 4 seconds he spent with khaotung on screen 😭 JoongDunk and PondPhuwin are just not like that??? I follow Joong and Pond on IG too and they are in fact able to breathe without their respective pair present. They are so so so so in love when together, bring each other up quite a bit when they're solo but they're not living inside the other's pocket if that makes sense? Sorry I ranted so long??? and for what?? but I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want Firstkhao to be popular but I also don't want them to change at the cost of mainstream popularity (though I understand why they're trying) - they are so worryingly codependent and wonderfully weird 🤧🤧🤧🤧
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Hello! Your isat siblings au is very good and now has me wondering about how stuff like Sif's wish might play out differently since they're not so horribly isolated. How do they end up thinking about discovering that they're an Islander if they've grown up more constantly reminded of their memory problems (the people who taught him vaugardian are people he's still living and traveling with)?
Unrelated but brain still whirring, do you think the way Sif and Bonny end up joining the party would end up looking different?
i explained the islander thing a few asks ago, but its because nille noticed they were! nille was also a teen when the island dissapeared, and, in the game, shes the one who taught bonnie how big of a deal it was! so of course she'd know. she's from the northern coast, after all :3 (im still figuring out sif's wish btw)
about how they meet the party, though! i was writing that scene just a few days ago, so i'll put that under a readmore :3
"It's fine, we're fine, Bug-"
Bonnie pushed weakly at Siffrin's arms, a pout in their face, "You keep saying that, but you look like crab, Frin."
The cloaked one sighed, "Language."
Bonnie huffed. Siffrin smiled.
He stared at the road ahead, and fixed Bonnie's position so they wouldn't fall, and continued walking.
It had been days (weeks? close to a month? he'd lost count and despite all of his "progress" he still couldn't bring himself to ask Bonnie for help with this one) since they'd had to run from Bambouche, and while he liked to think himself a capable adult, the sudden change to traveling on his own after living comfortably with Nille and Bonnie for almost a decade, now, had thrown them for a loop.
They were hungry, tired, and stressed. He had managed to keep Bonnie fed well enough, but he didn't risk staying anywhere for too long, fearing the curse catching up to them.
Catching up to him, and leaving Bonnie alone, like it had caught up to Nille. Catching up to Bonnie-
He tried not to think too hard.
His legs shook with every step. Bonnie was not too heavy for them to carry, of course not, but they were exhausted.
He set them down.
“Frin?” Bonnie asked, tilting their head.
“Break time.” He stated, slumping down next to them.
Bonnie nodded easily, laying their head on his shoulder, “Do you think.. that we will find a clean town?”
Clean town, dirty town… That’s how they’d taken to differentiating curse affected towns from normal ones. Bonnie had come up with it.
They were yet to find a clean town.
“Maybe. But only after tomorrow, Bug.” There was no use promising a certain date, but wording it like that was kinder, he thought.
“You think so?”
Siffrin smiled. “Yeah, for sure, Bon.”
He'd just had to make sure to word it differently, next time.
Then, suddenly, out of the corner of their eye...
They rested there for a few minutes. The forest was not quiet, as wind was picking up, making the leaves rustle loudly.
A sadness. Paper type, by the looks of it.
They hurried to stand so they could pick Bonnie and run, but…
Three people were fighting it.
Well.. fighting it seemed like a stretch. It looked like they were struggling against it, in Siffrin's personal opinion.
Really struggling. One of them was K.O.’d, the other looked like a rock type, and the other…
He swallowed. He looked at Bonnie, who was dozing off in his arms, and made a decision.
"Bon, hey," he nudged them, and they turned to him, "Stay here for a sec, I will be right back, okay?"
Bonnie blinked, and nodded, their eyes full of trust.
Siffrin smiled, patted their shoulder.
Then, he lunged forward.
"AH!!" One of the strangers exclaimed, and fell back in surprise. He ignored him, and attacked the sadness with their favorite attack, and exclaimed:
"Knife to meet you!" as they attacked.
He fell on his feet, the sadness poofing behind him, and he huffed a shaky breath. He then turned to the strangers, an easy smile on his face, "Hello," he waved.
They stared silently for a few seconds.
The one in the middle- a girl- smiled wide, and reached forward to grab their hand, "Hello! Thank you so much for your help!" She beamed.
Siffrin jolted a bit from the sudden contact, but smiled back, "It was, uh, it was no problem!"
One of the other two who were hanging back, an older lady, nodded along, "Yes, thank you." She said, looking out of breath, "That sadness..."
"Was tough! Really tough!" The other person exclaimed, "I could barely get a hit in!"
"Good thing I took it by surprise then-" Siffrin said, turning back his head to look for Bonnie, "I- nice to meet you, really, but-"
"Wait, wait, wait!" The girl said, not letting go of his hand, "Quest! We're on a quest, to stop the king's curse!!"
Siffrin turned back to her quickly at that, "The... curse? Like the freezing?"
"Yes!" She beamed, "And you seem strong! Won't you join us?"
Siffrin blinked, gaping a little, "Me?"
"Yes, you!" The girl insisted.
"I-" They paused, thinking. If they could help them... then, Nille...
"Okay, I'll help!" He said resolutely.
The man behind the girl put a hand on her shoulder, "Mira! Won't you introduce us?"
She blushed, "Right! I'm Mirabelle, I'm immune to the King's curse! He," She pointed to the man, "Is Isabeau, and she," She pointed to the lady who was still catching her breath, "Is Madame Odile! What's your name?"
Siffrin smiled, "I'm Siffrin- and I have my little sibling with me back there," He pointed back to the bushes with his thumb, and took a step back, "I'll uh, be right back?"
Mirabelle's eyebrows shot up in surprise, "Oh! Oh, uh! Sure!"
He quickly ran back to his sibling, trying to calm his still racing heart, "Bonnie, you can come out now." He said, pushing aside a bush.
Bonnie's head popped up behind it, "Was that a sadness?" They asked, "I heard people. Did we find a town?"
Siffrin ruffled their hair, making them groan playfully, "No, but I did find some nice people who say they're gonna stop the freezing."
Bonnie stood up, surprised, "REALLY?"
He smiled, "Yes, really! They want us to tag along, what do you think?" He asked gently, already knowing the answer.
"CRAB YEAH!" Bonnie exclaimed, excited, "Nille- she- she's gonna be okay!!!" They smiled a toothy grin, relieved.
Siffrin nodded, patting their shoulder, "Yeah, yeah."
He took their hand in theirs, and walked back to Mirabelle's party. They ignored how tired they felt, and gave everyone a easy smile.
Chin up, Siffrin. You've got a sister to save.
#isat#isat siblings au#isat spoilers#isat au#isat act 3 spoilers#i think. i cant remmeber#isat siffrin#isat mirabelle#isat isabeau#isat odile#kinda idk#isat fic#in stars and time#isat bonnie#isat act 4 spoilers#isat act 5 spoilers#pato art
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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Skz maknae line react to you falling asleep on them
This is pt 2 of the falling asleep on them reaction because I've let it marinate in my head for a few days and decided its time to be productive again😌
Tumblr deleted half of this draft so i had to rewrite it😭
Sorry this is shorter than the hyung line;-; i kinda took all the good ideas for that one
Warnings: Bad grammar, mild cursing, alexa makes an appearance, Minsung is mentioned, hot coco
Hyung line
Han
*cracks knuckles*
I know everybody says he's shy-
BUT HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
poor boy is flustered constantly
He would probably just be laying around doing nothing
Like me
And you would be 🥐pRoDuCtIvE✨
Realises i used a croissant instead of a sparkle
*insert surprised pikachu face*
Anyways
Doing chores, working, living, etc.
Ya know, hard things
Is what you would be doing
But say you didn't get much sleep the night before
So there's basically a zombie casually doing things around the house
When you come over and sit on his lap
Boi is sweating
Profusely
He's worried that he'll wake you up if he breathes too much
So he just kinda sits there all stiff
Untill you snore
And he's like
👁👄👁
Oh
Your asleep
And THEN he cuddles you
Because at this point he's decided that if you wake up he's just going to cuddle you right back to sleep
He would turn the TV volume down if he was watching something so he wouldn't wake you up
...
WHO WANTS A JISUNG TO CUDDLE THEM BACK TO SLEEP?
Stays: *raise their hands in unison*
He would play with your hair
You cant tell me he wouldnt
If you wake up he probably wouldn't even notice😭
He would just be staring off into space playing with your hair
Oh
He's also squishy
👌
Felix
Sunshine boi right here
Lets make that literal
And by literal i mean he's hot
Temperature wise i mean he's warm
😃
Anyways~
Its winter
And the two of you are taking a romp through the aesthetic snowy forest
But you know how walking through snow is exhausting
And your overheating in your snowgear
And the sun is blinding
*remembers winter is my favorite season*
Yeah...
So when you get back home your basically running on the thought of sleep
And the house is warm
And Felix is warm
*melts*
When you sit on his lap you do just that and fall asleep as soon as your comfortable
He would wrap you in a blanket like a lil burrito🥺
If you wake up he makes hot chocolate for you
But when he comes back with it he scares the shit out of you
Because you were already falling back asleep
Once you finish your drink you go back to sleeping
He would probably fall asleep too😭👌
Seungmin
*inhales*
He claims he hates it
But if you try to not sleep on his lap and hes near you
(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)
#offended
Will literally drag you on to his lap
Lets say you just came home from a long trip without him
But when you came home he wasn't there
So you fell asleep waiting for him
And when he does come home he sees you
Takes a second to admire you
And pulls you on to his lap
You wake up and just
?
Oh its you
And fall right back asleep
He holds your waist
Or just puts his arms around your waist and holds you
When you wake up he just looks at you
You think he's about to kiss you
But he just kinda stares at you
You know the way Minho stares at Han?
Yeah
Hes looking at you like that
...
ALEXA PLAY CARELESS WHISPER
*𝓣𝓻𝓾𝓶𝓹𝓮𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓲𝓼𝓮𝓼 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓯𝔂*
Seungmin has been bias wrecking too hard recently😌 im weakening
*exhales*
Jeongin
Shy
But not stiff shy like Han
More like...
Squishy? Shy
Like ✨bread✨🍞
Idk
You had a really long day at school with a bunch of tests and basically slept through half of them
When you get home you B-line for him
And just climb into his lap without saying anything
He doesn't really know what to do with his hands
So he just wraps his arms around you
And hopes he's doing the right thing
If you wrap your arms around him he will freeze
And then kinda just relax into your arms
🥺
Baby bread
Would close his eyes and pull you closer
When you wake up you think he's sleeping
But he's just trying to make you stay asleep
EAGHSPWHEFUHCHEFT
Sorry just combusted rq
🇼🇭🇾 🇭🇪 🇸🇴 🇨🇺🇹🇪
*my friends at my funeral*
Cause of death: Yang Jeongin
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Do you happen to have any headcannons regarding O'Connor and his friends? They live rent free in my head right now
Gotta admit, i do really hope they release maybe like a dlc or a short part two game that just focuses on the crew and their lives, because O'Connor and Gibbo, despite having only a few lines actually seem like they have lots of cool lore! Especially Gibbo (him talking about beasts, flashing lights etc)
Anyways! Heres a few headcanons of Gibbo, O'Connor, Trots, Finlay and Caz! **SPOILERS!!**
O'Connor
- i think lots of people think Mary is O'Connors wife, but I actually think hes talking about his daughter! Someone on the SWTD reddit said the ones who turn into The Shape are sort of traumatized or broken in some way, and the shape seems to lure/sedate its victims by making it think someone they care about is talking to them, so my mind immediately goes to O'Connor had a wife who either died or left and Mary is all he has. Poor guy :(
- I feel like he would be the type to go up to Trots when they first meet and ask if he can "see how blind" Trots is by trying on his glasses lol (he means well though!!)
- Poor man has night terrors like nobodies business. I like to think hes had night terrors the week leading up to what happens in the game about The Shape, but in very vague ways. Has probably told Trots or Gibbo about them as a joke.
Gibbo
- Again, a lot of people on reddit speculate that people who are traumatized or broken, I think his father left him or maybe just isnt a very great guy, since he tells Caz to tell his mom he'll be home soon, and since his ramblings sometimes sound like something an angry/neglectful father would say to a kid. I think Gibbo def gives off mamas boy vibes
- BIG. OLE. SOFTIE!!!! Definitely is the one who hung up all the christmas decor, and helped Dobbie with decorating their shared cabin.
- Definitely has seen some weird shit that Rennick has told him to stuff down, the "flashing lights" in the ocean, creatures that come up that he chalks up to being weird sea creatures so he can sleep peacefully at night
- I feel like in a weird way, he would survive the explosion and make his way to the main land, maybe to see his mom again or to try an find help
Trots
- I personally fucking adore Trots, he feels like the dad friend of the crew, the type that goes up to the crew when Rennick is up their asses and tells them to stand up for what they think is right.
- Always making passive aggressive comments around Rennick, Caz and Roy are always having to break the two up when they get into heavily heated arguements
- In his infected form, i think it shows a lot about the stresses he has as a union person and as a person in general. He feels like hes always having to clean up peoples messes, make sure things are working the way he should be, I feel like he puts on a composed face infront of everybody but is heavily stressed by his duties to keep everyone from getting killed
- I think he likes melancholy music :] soft and sad tunes that you can take a nap to while it rains outside
Finlay
- Can throw back shots like nobodies business, Caz and Muir are constantly doing drinking games with her and she always wins (though the hangover afterwards for her is more of a lose than anything)
- Constantly messing with Addair by getting into political battles and not giving him any satisfaction in seeing her get angry or anything, will sometimes just throw in random hyper-exaggerated takes to see him get mad
- As we seen from the paper, an absolute fucking wizard at darts, like, to the point where if shes drunk as all hell shes still able to hit multiple middles in a row
- Has nightmares too, but about her son. I cant imagine how hard it was for her to make it past the Shape hearing her son singing and calling out to her :((
- I feel like shes also pretty close with Roy, goes out for smoke breaks with him and stuff like that
Caz
- Double jointed. Maybe im just projecting onto him but the way his legs hurt from like THE SMALLEST OF FALLS is some double jointed problems shit. That being said, he totally does that bending-finger-back party trick for the crew, Trots tries to warn him against doing it but the look of disgust and suprise on the crews face will always make him do it again lol
- Was accidentally the first person to find out about Muir and Innes's relationship. He caught them kissing in the mud room, ever since then hes tried to be like,,,, overly accepting to the point where every time Innes and Muir are walking together he gives them a thumbs up like a dork
- Keeps his hair long despite Rennick and Addairs comments because Suize likes it that way (you cannot tell me Caz doesnt like getting his hair pulled lmao he is WHIPPED for that lady)
- I like to think his afterlife is him haunting his house, i know that may sound shitty but i want that man to be able to watch his weans grow up :(((
#trots swtd#O'Connor swtd#caz mcleary#blondie rambles#finlay swtd#gibbo swtd#headcanons#still wakes the deep#send me asks!#also again gimme headcanons and i mighy draw themmmm :]
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🤍𓂃 ࣪˖ if you can read this, it means you're still here! which is an achievement in itself. im so proud of you. <3
i have been falling back into some bad habits recently, and thinking about it a lot. i had a really, really bad night last night and this morning i woke up with puffy eyes and a messy room but i felt light.
imagine yourself in december this year. imagine yourself looking back on today and smiling at how far you've come. everything can change in one year. everything can change at any time.
there is a whole entire world for you. the sound of rain on the glass, the way the petals fall in the spring, the way the sun rises in the morning, that stranger that smiled at you on the street, that cute little dog you saw on your way to work or school or wherever you went to this morning.
there are people you haven't even met who are cheering you on. you have so many people admiring you from the sidelines because they're too shy to say it. i have been one of those people and still am. there are people who admire the tiniest things about you; the creases by your eyes when you smile, the cute little dimples on your cheeks, the way your hair gets so messy after being out in the wind, the way you hold yourself with such confidence, the way you try so hard to be better every day even if it's hard.
there are people who love you beyond belief that you've never even met yet. because there is so much to be explored, so much to be learnt, so much to see and so much to meet. 8 billion people. 8 billion. even if it feels like you're surrounded by people who don't love you, who don't want the best for you, who don't take care of you and admire you half as much as they should, they are not the last people in the world, and they never will be. there are 8 billion people! think about that for a second! there is someone who is wishing for you the way you are wishing for them! there are people who have so much love for you they haven't even had the chance yet to express!! that's so beautiful!!! <3
there are people who do love you beyond belief, even if you guys don't talk anymore. there are people who smile when they look back on you guys time together, from your childhood best friend to that girl you complimented in the street years and years and years ago. there are people who look back on your memory fondly and still love you and are so happy to see you flourishing.
its okay to be sensitive, its okay to get upset by things. not everything is going to be okay all the time, and neither are you. you can't have good without the bad, and the good always comes afterwards better than you'd ever imagined. life is feeling everything deeply and learning from it, no matter how hard it was or still is. you can always make it through because the most sensitive people are the strongest people.
there is so much life left. you are so young, no matter how old you are. there is so much you can do, so much you will do, so many achievements to be made, so many friends to meet, so many experiences you can learn from. you will get your happily ever after and you will make something beautiful out of your life because life is messy and imperfect and constantly growing and that is beauty.
please keep living, because there is so much to live for. even if you want to go back to that home of sadness you've built over the years, even if growth is messy and uncomfortable, even if things aren't going too great right now, even if it's not everything you thought it would be, you've survived your entire life with you helping you through it even if you've been alone.
you've picked yourself back up every. single. time. and are still making an active effort. that is extremely strong and you've done more than 90% of other people would do in your position and all the things you've been through. you've tried so hard and you should be so proud of yourself. and you should keep going for, because the life you're dreaming of is so close. please smile. please never give up. there is so much left to live for. i love you & you should do the same.
#girlblogging#girly tumblr#wonyoungism#self improvement#self concept#self image#mental health#mental illness#recovery#pink pilates princess#it girl#self care#lifestyle#dream girl#dream life#advice
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ahhhh i just spent the last three days reading every post on the emtts tag and im in love with your whole little universe. i kept meaning to make a list of all of the little things but i kept getting distracted and forgetting so i only started at april 18th bc i NEED (subject to your willingness to expand/care act this particular part of your universe) to hear more about all of the little stories of steve getting arrested (particularly hopper arresting steve?? and them breaking into steves parents house?)
thanks for this amazing space!! you’ve made a universe that ive been thinking about constantly and that expands on the characters in such a beautiful mundane way, its very cool!!
ps i just read one of the follow ups in the death threat part where steve admits he doesn’t want to stop teaching bc dustin asks eddie about it and i think im about to cry holy shit
pps on the death threat part with diane oh god. like just steve having to figure it out in front of her and her explaining to him and him admitting to just not being ok i just
First, thank you so much! This is all so very nice of you to say and props for getting through everything in three days. It is quite a bit! It’s honestly amazing how much has been written in such a short amount of time. I’m only going to cover Steve getting ‘arrested’ and I’ll touch on Steve and Eddie’s breaking and entering at a later date.
Steve started having seizures a little after they closed the gate on the Upside Down for good or, well. They started noticing that he was having seizures after they closed the gate. It was heavily implied in the undertone of his doctor’s voice that these seizures were likely going on for a while and that they likely not going to stop anytime soon.
Steve took this news as well as anybody could.
Everybody was kinda waiting for him to have a breakdown over it, but it never happened because Steve was – well, he wasn’t fine. Obviously. But it is what it is, right? If the worst thing to come out of all this Upside Down stuff is that he’s a little dumber than he was before than how could he complain?
Max was learning how to walk again.
What Steve didn’t take well was his doctor telling him that he wasn’t allowed to drive anymore. In fact, he did not take that news at all. He completely ignored it, and he ignored the looks that Robin when give him when he drove himself to work, and he would say, “It’s not like I’m driving the kids around or anything. It’s just me.”
“And that’s supposed to make me worry less?”
“I pull over if I feel weird.”
He wasn’t actually driving all that much anyways. Robin got her permit and Eddie got the all-clear to drive again, so no one needed to rope Nancy into lecturing him about ‘the dangers.’ He didn’t need Dustin’s complaining or Eddie’s ‘hey, maybe you should listen to them’ or Joyce stopping him on his way out the door. And he didn’t need Hopper.
Steve was learning to accept that sometimes he needed help. He was doing better, but Steve practically lived alone despite the jokes people were making about him being at Eddie’s all the time, and he wasn’t going to bother someone just because he needed toilet paper.
Steve was sitting in his car outside of the Fair Mart, trying to remember why he needed to go there in the first place, when there was a knock on his window. He startled and blinked hard twice before looking over at the drivers’ side window. He frowned.
Hopper was standing there and he looked annoyed. He gestured for him to get out of the car and Steve frowned more, fumbling with his seatbelt before pushing the door open. For lack of anything else to do once he was out of the car, Steve said, “Hey, what’s up?”
Hopper frowned more like he was annoyed with Steve which was, in itself, was really annoying because Steve didn’t do anything. He was just here to buy… He was here to get… Wait. “Huh?”
Hopper sighed loudly and repeated himself. Slowly. “Give me. Your keys.”
Maybe it was Hopper’s tone or maybe there was some stock in what his doctor said mood swings, or maybe Steve was just tired of everybody treating him like a baby that needed taken care of and watched. Just when Hopper reached to take the keys out of his hand, Steve shoved him away.
Everything kinda blurred at the edges and the headache that’s been wedged in the corner of Steve’s jaw pulsed. He didn’t really take a breath until Hopper shoved him against the hood of his car.
Hopper cuffed metal around his wrists and said, “Good going, Harrington.”
Steve yanked on his arm and snapped back, “You’re not even a cop anymore. You can’t arrest me.”
“Call it a citizen’s arrest.”
Eddie laughed for four minutes of Steve’s five minute phone call at the police station. He laughed so hard that Steve knew that he was holding his side where the bites were the deepest because they were still tender, and Steve just rolled his eyes, “Yeah, yeah. Yuck it up. Are you gonna get me?”
“Hm, yeah,” Eddie grinned through the phone. “Yeah. It’s a little ironic that the Prom K-“
Steve hung up the phone.
The ‘charges’ that Hopper (not a cop) threatened to ‘throw the book at him’ for were driving without a valid driver’s license. There was a part of Steve that knew that this was all just for show to teach him a lesson, but still argued that he had a valid license because no one took it away from him, and actually, “This is false imprisonment, right? Maybe I should call my family lawyer.”
It was even more annoying that Eddie – rolling into the building smelling like weed an hour later – agreed with Hopper.
#I want to make one thing clear: Eddie is high as shit when he goes to the police station#also wanted to imply that Steve might’ve had a seizure in the parking lot of the fair mart#I know I’ve been a bit slow responding to people’s prompts and that’s probs going to continue for a bit#there’s a lot going on irl right now and I’ve hit an emotional wall#still going to post though obvs#eddie munson tiktok saga#steve harrington#eddie munson#jim hopper
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