#and i cant be in the bathroom very long bc all eleven of us are sharing two

[gaystardykeco]

need to go home rn actually i cannot be on this trip anymore. like at least when i reach a breaking point at home i have an apartment alone to break down in and regulate myself until im okay enough, there's just no way to do that here at all

[supremequeenofthejellyfish]

I read your tags on that byeler post and holy shit i love u this made my day like this day just started but i wont read anything better, pls do tell more

OH MY GOD THANK YOU???!!!!! that whole thing took me like 45 minutes to write oh my god, its so nice to be noticed for once haha (also ur day just started? I’m so glad I made ur whole day lmao. It’s currently nighttime where I am.) Anyway, tumblr deleted like half of my tags from that post cuz I guess I wrote too many? idk man, it was horrible, whenever I tag posts I always check it on my blog to see if it worked correctly cuz tunglr.cob is always messing things up and BOI WHEN I SAW THAT I WAS FUCKING LIVID OH MY GOD U HAVE NO IDEA. Ok so I’m going to try and recreate my tags below from memory, in bulleted form. they won’t be exact but I’ll try my best (here’s the post now go read my tags if u haven’t seen them lol) 

If you ask mike, it was only lasted a few days, and the rest of the gang looks into the camera like they’re on the office

At first, mike is pretty nervous about the topic, like he’s super worried (mike: do u h8 me bc I like bois 2???)

(Literally everyone at once: are you serious?? Have you seen will, That boy is gay as fuck.) (will didn’t say the second part he was not ready for that, ya boi was shook)

Mike is “low-key” relieved (and by low-key I mean extremely high key that boy literally collapsed on the couch from relief)

(Dustin: Mike seriously?? We’re ur best friends how could we possibly hate u??)

Even if any of them did have qualms, they wouldn’t show it. They were all outcasts, and they stuck together no matter what

Lets be real tho, they probably didn’t they are all best friends and love each other unconditionally

Mike hasn’t told anyone that he has a crush on will (eleven: Crush?? Mike ur literally in love with him.) he actually begs eleven not to tell them (Mike: Please, you can’t say anything to them, I’m not ready yet.)

Eleven agrees, but internally she’s all like: Mike, they already know, ur so fucking obvious, Lmao.

Except will tho, will low-key (read: high key) loves mike too, but neither of them have realized it yet because they’re both oblivious idiots

Everyone sees that they’re in love except for them and its so infuriating

Eleven has to endure mikes “pining phase” for MONTHS b4 she basically forces them into a room together (alone) to confess

She has to for her own sanity (but also because she wants her bffs to be happy.)

But seriously if mike didn’t say anything soon she would have to kill him and then herself (yikes, he was actually that bad lol)

Will went through a pining phase too (his started about a year b4 mike and eleven broke things off) although instead of pestering Lucas, Dustin, or Max about it he literally has 3 (three) spiral notebooks (college ruled, not that wide ruled bullshit) full of doodles of Mike with hearts around his head (and a fourth one in progress)

He was supposed to be using them for schoolwork, but he gets distracted a lot in class

No one (NO ONE) Is allowed to see those notebooks except for will himself

(Max, probably: Hey will can I borrow you’re notes, I lost mine? Will, slamming notebook #4 shut: NO! Max: *is visibly shook*)

poor Joyce has no idea why he keeps going through so many notebooks?

Anyway, the whole gang is together for a sleep over in mike’s basement (where else would they be?) and eleven takes mike aside and tells him that he has to tell will 2nite or she will fucking scream (she’s totally not kidding)

Mike: but what if he doesn’t like me back?? He’ll probably hate me if I tell him that…… 

Eleven: mike ur so stupid omg he fucking likes u back ok trust me

(She caught a glimpse of notebook #2 a while back when she and mike were nearing the end of their relationship, and she never told anyone.To this day, will doesn’t know that she saw it)

Mike: *skeptically* ok but even if that’s true I cant just say it in front of everyone

Eleven scoffs, drags mikes by the wrist over to will, drags will by the arm and basically throws them both into the bathroom and locks them in with her powers

Mike: ELEVEN!! OPEN THE DOOR!!! LET US OUT OF HERE OH MY GOD ARE YOU CRAZY?!?!?!?!?!

Eleven: nope :) (how does she do that this is a verbal conversation) not until you tell him.

Will, a very confused boy: huh? Tell me what? Mike what the fuck is going on?!?! What is she talking about??

Mike eventually confesses everything to will (except the pining phase, that was fucking embarrassing)

(Eleven tells him about it later, and mike tries to deny it, but will thinks its so cute???? Like so cute he wants to puke hearts??? But that might just be the butterflies in his stomach)

Mike tries to be smooth when he’s confessing to will but he’s a stuttering fucking mess

Will is so shooketh he doesn’t know what to do with himself so he just grabs mikes hand and says “me too” (he’ll deny it later, but he was on the verge of tears pretty much the whole time)

Mike smiles like the big goofy idiot he is, and eleven, seemingly satisfied opens the door

The gang claps and cheers, and mike and will are confused. Then they look down at their hands, with their fingers still intertwined and are more confused

Lucas: took you long enough

Mike and will: ????????????????

Dustin grabs them by the shoulders and pulls them into a group hugThey stay like that for at least 10 minutes, mike and will hugging each other in the middle, and everyone else crowding around them

Mike pecks will on the cheek and then whispers into his ear quietly: “I love you so fucking much, Will.”

Will Is basically a tomato at this point, a happy tomato, but a fucking tomato nonetheless. (Mike had never seen him so red)

He buries his face into mikes chest, and whispers back: “I love you, too, Mike” (mike blushes almost as red as will)

The others pretended not to notice this little exchange, but oh god did they notice, and it was the cutest fucking thing they’ve ever seen

After awhile they break apart, because its getting hot in mike’s basement

mike and will are left standing outside the bathroom door, still hugging each other. (Neither of them wanted to let go just yet)

Will holds on to mike like his life depends on it, and eventually he hears “Jesus will I can’t fucking breathe”

Will lets go immediately, and mike puts an arm around his shoulder and leads him to the couch

Every one is waiting for them, and no one can stop smiling (especially mike and will, god, those 2 are so fucking in love with each other its not even funny)

this took me way longer than I thought it would omg. I added a few things that weren’t in the original tags that got deleted but they fit in pretty nicely? idk lol I thought it made it that much cuter haha. This was originally supposed to be just a response to the post but I got a little carried away. Tbh I probably put more effort into writing this than I put into my actual homework that I get actual fucking grades on lmao (help). Speaking of which, I have homework that I have to go do now, hahaha. hope u like it lololol

[jiminnieblues-blog]

get to know me tag(s)

yoo so recently i’d been tagged to do three get to know me tags, and i dont want to make three separate posts for each so im gonna combine all of them in this one post which is under a cut bc……….its really long LOL anyways i was tagged by @lovhobe, @elementaljimin, and @protectkimtaehyung thank you so much guys!!!!!!!!!!! <333 im glad i got to know yall better asdfgh

im tagging @jiminslipgloss​, @jxxminmols​, @kismet-soo​, @baeklipse​, @sonyeondn​, @neckatie​, @kihyunswife​ and @bulletproofbookworm​ you guys are welcome to do however many of these you want lol i just didnt wanna tag people separately for each tag

i was tagged by @lovhobe​ to do the 20 questions one tysm!!  instructions: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 amazing followers you would like to get to know better. (lol yall already know i aint tagging 20 people)

name - zara

nickname - um a few of my friends like to call me zar-zar and i get called zaro by my family a lot

zodiac sign - cancer

height - 5′ 3″

orientation - straight

ethnicity - pakistani

favorite fruit - pineapple i think

favorite season - fall

favorite book series - idk um i’ll be that person and say harry potter lol i cant rlly think of a good series rn but my fave book is the kite runner 

favorite flower - i dont rlly know a lot of flowers but i like roses and the vibrant colors that orchids can have

favorite scent - fresh laundry

favorite color - purple

favorite animal - zebras?

coffee, tea, or hot cocoa - hot cocoa

average hours of sleep - five

cat or dog person - i like both but i think i like cats a little more

favorite fictional character(s) - this is hard bc i used to be in a lot of fandoms asdfghjkl draco, red & gold, percy, bakugou, link and i have more from all the drama i watch but the list will be to long lmao !!!

number of blankets you sleep with - three

dream trip - idrk?? somewhere out of the country i guess i dont leave the us unless im going to pakistan lol

blog created - i had to check my archive lmao but i made this blog in oct of 2015

number of followers - :^)

NEXT i was tagged by @eternaljimin​ for the get to know me tag tysm !! there werent any instructions just.........answer the questions lol.

a - age - fourteen lmao.........................

b - biggest fear - tight spaces

c - current time - 10:35 pm

d - drink you had last - water

e - everyday starts with - getting out of bed??

f - favorite song - im saying this just bc it just came out but RUMOR BY KARD IS A BOP WATCH IT AND SUPPORT THESE LEGENDS  

g - ghosts are real? - idk my dude

h - hometown/country - us

i - in love with - jimin?

j - jealous of - i was just watching sbs kpop star and there are these two kids who are eleven yrs old and are so talented i wish i was talented you feel 

k - killed someone - why would someone even ask this akshf ofc not

l - last time you cried - i think i cried today lmfao

m - music you last listened to - RUMOR BY KARD

n - newest thing you bought for yourself - i think the last thing i spent my money on was cheez its from the vending machine @ school ajksf

o - one wish - i wish my life went smoothly and that i wasnt mentally ill?? lmao

p - person you last messaged - @jiminslipgloss​ :)

q - questions you get asked often - since i wear the hijab i get a lot of questions abt that i also get questions on my rbf like ‘why do you look so depressed all the time’ asfkjkj

r - recommended (movie? series? book?) - i just remembered that i read this book called this blinding absence of light and it was rlly good a little explicit but it was a damn good book i rlly wanna re read it 

s - song you last sang - i dont rmbr but it was probs a track from hamilton lol

t - thanks, last person you said thanks to - the waiter that gave me food @ a restaurant i went today 

u - underwear youre wearing - not sure what this is asking but im wearing a purple one rn???

v - vacation, your dream vacation - i dont rlly have one lol

w - worst habit - idk if this counts but i lose my temper a lot? is that a habit? if not i tend to space out/get distracted a lot esp in class

x - x rays youve had - my teeth, my ankle, a few of my fingers

y - your favorite food - rice !

z - zodiac sign - cancer

for the third one i was tagged by @protectkimtaehyung​ for the seventy questions tag tysm!!!!!!

do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah

who did you last say i love you to? um listen im rlly not tryna be edgy but i seriously dont rmbr the last time i said ily irl

do you regret anything? i regret a lot of things lol

are you insecure? unfortunately

whats your relationship status? single

how do you want to die? asdfghjkl um a painless death i think

what did you last eat? rice

played any sports? i used to play tennis and swim but now i do kung fu

do you bite your nails? no

when was your last physical fight? i kind of have......to fight in kung fu so like when i last had class lol

do you like someone? no

have you ever stayed up forty-eight hours? yeah

do you hate anyone atm? i tend to hate a lot of ppl lmao?

do you miss someone? uhm i dont think so

have any pets? no :// i used to have parakeets but i gave them away and i just recently found out that they passed away :(((

how exactly are you feeling right now? i was kinda happy but since its sunday night im starting to feel shitty bc i dont want to go back to school tmrw afjh and im rlly tired

ever made out in the bathroom? no

are you scared of spiders? yeah lol

would you go back in time if you were given the chance? this is an interesting question bc it depends like if i were given just one chance then mayyyybe id go back and change smth i did that was stupid but if were given the chance to go whenever i want then probably not bc thats way too much pressure/commitment to have a power like that sdhfa 

where was the last place you snogged someone? i havent snogged anyone lmfao

what are your plans for this weekend? sleep

do you want to have kids? how many? i dont want to have kids bc childbirth doesnt seem appealing to me but idk i might change my mind when im older/more mature

do you have piercing? how many? one on both ears

what is/are/were your best subjects? the only classes i have solid as in are art, lit, and w4p lol math and science are def not my thing

do you miss anyone for your past? from my past, yes

what are you craving right now? sleep

have you ever broken someones heart? in first grade some kid liked me and i embarrassed him in front of his friends to get him to stop liking me so yeah i was wildin in first grade

have you ever been cheated on? no

have you ever made a significant other cry? no

whats irritating you right now? my tiredness? 

does somebody love you? oh geez i hope lmao

what is your favorite color? purple

do you have trust issues? yeah

who/what was your last dream about? um i dont think i remember v clearly

who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom

do you give second chances out easily? i dont think ive been in a situation where ive had to but i probably wouldnt 

is it easier to forgive or forget? wow um can i say neither lol

is this year the best year of your life? definitely not

how old were you when you had your first kiss? havent had one

have you ever walked out naked? no

favorite food? rice

do you believe everything happens for a reason? hmmm probably idk man i dont think too hard lol

what is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? scrolling through this hell website

is cheating ever okay? no

are you mean? i probably dont come off as mean online but im not gonna lie i def get mean irl

how many people have you fist fought? i dont think ive been in a situation where i had to punch someone?

do you believe in true love? ive never experienced romantic love so i wouldnt be able to say but probably aajkf ive read/watched too much and analyzed too many relationships for me to say love is real but...........love isnt real yall

favorite weather? when the sun is covered by clouds and its a little chilly

do you like the snow? ive only encountered snow like twice so idk but i feel like i wouldnt like it very much lol

do you want to get married? idk man

is it cute when someone calls you baby? pet names arent rlly my thing lol 

what makes you happy? sleep...........im rlly tired rn 

would you change your name? no

would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? this is an interestingly phrased question lol. well i dont rmbr the last person i kissed so idk

your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? wow that would be rlly sad LMAO but id turn him down and tell him to get better standards wtf

do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? well they wouldnt be considered my friend if i couldnt act like myself around them so yes

who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? i just texted my friend so we can play video games aslfkh 

whos the last person you had a deep conversation with? literally the same dude from the last question lol

do you believe in soulmates? um no i dont think so?

id there anyone you would die for? my family/friends

thanks everyone again for tagging me !! <33

[leaughrilke]

Now that we know how they react with Kara getting hurt any head cannons on how the kids act when Lena gets hurt or is in danger? Do they have any concept of how many threats arise because of her family name or has enough time passed since Lex that it's just a bad memory?

so this ask sort of goes hand in hand with this other one i received so i sort of split the long answer between the two!!  i’ll link it for ya babes, enjoy the angst and the superbabies Constantly Worrying abt their human mommy

so like??  if u think the kiddos react poorly when its kara that’s hurt, i need ya to remember that they’re still pretty confident that kara will always walk away from a fight in one piece.  like she might get hurt??  but they (perhaps a lil naively) dont think that kara’s rlly ever going to be Hurt.  like they’re terrified in the moment, but it doesn’t like??  stick i guess??  i guess it’s sort of like…….she’s a superhero, danger sort of comes with it and kara’s careful and she’s like???  invincible??  one time stella gets rlly scared for her, so maia gets the idea to prove that they cant get hurt and bends like all of the kitchen knives trying to stab her hand so like…thats what’s in the kiddos’ heads when kara goes off to save the city/world.  bent kitchen knives and stella’s laughter and maia’s grin and finn rolling his eyes but going alone with it, holding his hand over open flame to prove he can’t get burned

but lena??  lena is terrifyingly human.  lena can burn and bruise and bleed and each kiddo has their own relationship to that, like finn cries and frets and maia seethes and rages and stella worries and plans (mind u, stella probably is the most……not ok with it, but she’s the most comfortable with lena’s vulnerability if only bc she’s just as vulnerable, often has a similar target on her back from lex/lillian bc she’s the most easily hurt of the kiddos??)

god they dont handle lena being in danger well At All and they handle her being hurt even worse, bc like??  she doesn’t heal as fast as kara, she heals at a human rate and there’s no magic sun lamp to make her all better

like when the kiddos are p young (like finn’s eleven or so) lena gets in a minor car accident and breaks her wrist and they all sort of freak the fuck out and that first day after she’s released from the er, she’s taking pain killers and is sort of just lazing around and taking it easy and the kiddos wont leave her side, like kara runs out to pick up dinner and the kids r sort of hovering around lena, pretending like theyre doing their own things, but when she comes back, they’ve all just cuddled up to her on the couch and maia’s carefully painting the nails on lena’s injured hand and stella’s fallen asleep on lena’s lap and finn’s tucked up against lena’s good side and they dont rlly move for the rest of the night tbh

i would say they have a p good grasp of the sort of threats against lena, like they grew up knowing how to behave in panic rooms and learned several emergency drills as part of their routine and saw lena hurt, threatened more times than they’d ever like to remember.  they react as well as can be expected from kids in that sort of situation, and it helps a lot that their moms r so good and rlly work to make sure they feel safe as much as possible and try and assure them as best they can

but like??  they’re all so protective of lena, they rlly are, and unfortunately they have good reason to be.  she’s on several ppl’s shit list tbh, and there are a fair few attempts on her life within the kids’ memories, like stella was there for several just bc she generally spends more time around lena and every single time resulted in her refusing to leave lena’s side for weeks after the fact.  she just Will Not, like when she’s older and has to go to school, she is just constantly texting lena and like normally lena would tell her to stop, she needs to pay attention in class, but she also saw stella all but wailing in kara’s arms when lena got loaded into the ambulance so maybe she writes a note for stella’s teachers asking that they excuse her texting for a couple weeks

woo that got Dark

finn like…..idk its not like he feels like As the Man of the House he needs to protect all the girls in his life bc thats ridiculous and ignores their agency and his mamas raised him right, but he grew up watching kara protect their family, their city, the earth and he carries those instincts rlly deep in him and like he worries abt everyone, he’s such a worrier, but its different for maia and for kara and its even different for stella, bc stella at least has powers, can sense things, but lena is???  completely human????  

and the first time he’s fully aware of this is when he’s three and his little sister is still so small and round and giggly and he had a stomach ache so lena calls out from work, tells jess to push her meetings so she can stay home and she’s put maia down for a nap and is coming in to check on him when he hears her scream from down the hall and like??  u know how little kids dont necessarily know when bad shits going down, but they Know??  well he knows.  

so finn forgets all abt how his tummy hurts and runs as fast as he can and he’s rounding the hall just as kara barrels through a window, shoves him into the bathroom and pulls the door closed, but he saw lena on the floor, face twisted in pain with blood at her temple, oozing sluggishly from her shoulder and down her arm, saw the masked man that stood over her

he doesnt rlly ever forget that.  the memory fades a little, dulls over time, but he has a lot of nightmares abt it, can’t completely put it behind him bc it was the first time he realized his mommy wasnt the same as his mama, wasnt as strong, wasnt as safe

it’s rlly bad for almost half a year after that, like he has nightmares more often than he doesnt and ends up in kara and lena’s bed most nights after waking up sobbing

when he gets older he sort of??  he doesn’t outgrow that bone deep fear, but it gets channeled into different avenues i guess

the first time maia ever has to confront that shit, she’s eight and its the assassination attempt from sun is gonna shine above and she’s never??  realized???  like she saw lena with a broken wrist and she’s seen her sick and so on and so forth so she’s got a grasp on the fact that lena’s human, not quite so invulnerable, but she’s never rlly understood what the consequences of that might mean??  but then they’re all sprawled on the floor of the deo and finn’s wailing into kara’s arms abt how he thought they were dead and she looks at lena and she looks at stella and she looks at kara and she’s terrified suddenly and she starts to cry and it all becomes a blur after that but then it’s a couple weeks later and she’s finally processed a little and she sort of scares her moms bc she crawls into their bed one night very late and asks very seriously if lena’s going to die

and like???  shit what are you supposed to say when your eight year old asks if you’re going to die???  jesus, there was no chapter abt this in literally any parenting book either of them have ever read

they explain it as best they can, that there are some very bad people in the world and they dont like lena very much and sometimes they want to hurt lena, but kara’s quick to remind maia that they’re all very safe and that she and aunt alex and uncle james and everyone at the deo work rlly hard to make sure they all stay safe but maia’s sort of changed after that??

and like…..her anger isnt from this one flashpoint alone, but it is a launching point.  like??  her mom is so kind and loving and soft, why would anyone want to hurt her??  why should the world allow her to get hurt???  it’s not fair.  so maia gets angry and she stays angry and she takes it out on bad ppl that hurt her family, takes it out on bad ppl that try to hurt lena and the difference btwn how she reacts with kara and how she reacts with lena is that she never, never says a word of it to lena, she refuses, bc if she does that, she’s admitting she’s scared that lena’s going to get taken from them, she’s admitting that lena’s human, that she’s mortal, that she can bleed and die and maia’s not willing to admit that

stella is probably the kiddo that never rlly has the realization bc its so ingrained in her like and i dont mean this in a bad way but there’s this understanding that where kara and finn and maia are alike, stella and lena are alike and stella understands that she’s not as strong as her siblings so it makes sense that lena’s not as strong as them either, u know??  it doesnt come as a surprise or anything and her powers mean that the threats to her mother dont come as a surprise either, bc by the time she’s registered what those threats rlly mean, she’s already been living with the reality of them for years

and ive said this a bunch but stella responds by becoming lena’s shadow tbh, she just sticks even closer to her mom and freaks out when she can’t bc she feels rlly powerless???  she cant help kara, but that makes sense, bc stella’s not the same as kara??  but she’s like lena and she can’t help her either, so what good is she to anyone, what use is she, how does she deserve her mothers

and to be fair, most of these feelings arent hers alone, bc when she gets sad or angry or hurts, its a lot easier for her to sort of take on negative emotions from the rest of the world, so it sort of spirals but that is the reality of it, she’s sad and she’s scared and she refuses to let lena out of her sight every time lena gets threatened or hurt

THERES UR DAILY DOSE OF SUPERBABIES ANGST, UR WELCOME

[stickyrunawayangelsworld]

Monday, 4:51 am

my best friend on the whole wide planet ruined her life, and now she wants me to ruin mine. you see, she grew up living with her controlling and abusive grandparents. parents were drug addicts, never gave a shit. she turned 18 in march of 2016, had a beautiful daughter in april. moved out of their house in may or june. left all her shit (by force). she moved in with her mom, which didn't work out too well. some time in june or july i had to get her and all the shit we could get quickly and leave. she stayed at my sisters for a while. everyone in my family told her that she could stay with any of us, permanently. my nana and papa already had two teenagers (18 and 16), but they didnt have a spare room. my sister was 7 months pregnant and newly wed, they have their own place which is two bath and four bed. one room i was living in, the nursery was in the back by their room, and the room they were ready to make hers was right beside mine. my parents with three kids but only one living at home (my brother, 16) (i moved out in june due to a very bad fight with my dad which ended in me in the icu, and my sister is 24 so) had two spare rooms, one which was already being made into a nursery for their soon to be grandchild, the other completely empty since i left. however, she wanted to move to texas to go live with her long distance boyfriend she had never met. so, in august, she moved states to be with an abusive asshole. there were signs he was definitely abusive before they were even dating, and she ignored them all because he also did nice things. he bought her and willow gifts and mailed them. he bought promise rings. he sent her his jackets so she could wear them, he sent her letters, tagged her in memes, etc. he also called her fat. (not the worst thing to others, but she's been suffering with eating disorders since she was a child, and she was 8 months pregnant at the time.) he also triggered her ptsd. he would belittle her, push her around, and manipulate her into doing things she didn't want to do. every fight he would call her a bitch, irrational, overreacting. she has multiple disorders where it's hard to tell if she is overreacting or being irrational. he would leave her on read during a panic attack. actually i can't think of a single time he talked to her when she was freaking out. he always said it was stupid and that "she'd calm down eventually". anyways. so she moves down there. its good for maybe two or three weeks. after that it was non stop with the fighting. "Toriy he's such a dick" "i hate it here, i don't know anyone and the city gives me anxiety" (san antonio is like 300 miles, and she's from a small ass town) "Toriy please call me" "____ did x, y, z today and I haven't eaten in three days" at first it was shit that i wasn't surprised by. he called her fat, he ignored her during a panic attack, he put his friends before her. then christmas week happened. it started put early in the week. he was mad because something that happened at work or whatever, and he was (as usual) taking it out on her. she didn't say anything, just kinda took it. the next few days were pretty similar. his family celebrated christmas on christmas eve, and she didn't know hardly any of them. he has a pretty large family. she only knew his mom, dad, sister, brother, and other brother. she was so anxious and she spent half the night in the bathroom crying. not so shockingly, he ignored her existence the whole time. that night when they got home, was the worst. he broke up with her, sent her several messages calling her a shitty mom (lemme just tell you, she is an AMAZING mom. also lemme just tell you one of the "reasons" he used for her being a shitty mom was that she washes her childs bottles????), he accused her of lying about being raped, he said so much shit. christmas day, at two something in the morning, he got physical. the baby was crying and my friend could not handle it. she asked the dude to watch her for a second so she could go to the bathroom and wash her face and calm down. he started screaming at my friend, slammed the baby's head (she was 8 months old at the time) into the metal bed frame, kicked my friend in the stomach and the legs, and punched her a few times. i can't even begin to tell you how bad the phone call i got that night was. three months later, and he hasn't been physical since, but he hasn't changed anything at all. tonight he got in a fight with her because his parents took her to get chinese while he was at work but they wouldn't bring him whattaburger. he got home, said "fuck you" to her, and left. shes spent the whole night having panic attacks and blacking out. i haven't heard from her in three hours and the last thing she said to me was "im going to hurt myself". the other day she asked me to move there. if me her and him can get a place together. i have spent the last eleven days doing nothing but mentally cussing her out. (excluding friday night / saturday morning bc BOI) Fuck you, ____. I hate boys. I hate loud and aggressive boys. I hate boys who think the world owes them something. I hate boys who have the audacity to think that triggering someone's PTSD is fucking funny. I would rather go live with my fucking dad. At least then someone (my mom) would have the balls to say something. Fuck you, ____. Fuck you for letting this boy fuck up your mental stability that you and I worked SO FUCKING HARD on leveling out. Fuck you for letting him put his hands on you and your child. Fuck you, ____. Fuck you for making me feel like shit because I want to hang out with friends. Fuck you for begging me to move there because you "need" me. Fuck you for moving there in the first place. I told you he was abusive. My mum, the lady who literally has been married to an abusive ASSHOLE for almost 30 years, told you that him "being a dick" was the start of abuse. Literally you're so fucking smart. Why the fuck. Fuck you, ____ for even THINKING of asking me to get a place with a guy who calls me a crackwhore because "her reaction is funny", jokes about raping girls, and is physically abusive to you. Fuck you, ____ for telling me that if he does some shit while I'm down there visiting you for your birthday to not hurt him. I will hurt him. I will stab him in the face and I will not apologize for it. Fuck you. Fuck you for expecting me to move away from my family and friends and my boyfriend to live with a guy who abuses my best friend and makes me physically ill every time I talk to him. I get it, ____. You love him, or whatever. I cannot and I will not put myself in that situation again. I got away from my rapist and my abusive dad and Andrew and Dylan and I will not put myself anywhere near that kind of situation again. i couldn't leave here even if i fucking wanted to. the last time i was over two hours away my dad got physical with my mum. he won't go near her or Justin if im close. i cant risk that. (the only time he's ever gotten physical w my mum I threw a knife at him and the only reason it didn't hit him was bc my mum pushed him through the fucking door to protect him. i guess a broken arm full of glass shards is a better story than "14 year old kills her father" huh?) (also little brother is basically my child considering my dads an alcoholic and my mum worked 24/7 when i was kid so guess who grew up literally raising a kid two years younger than her??? hahahahahah me.) i get it. all your friends and family you could easily leave behind. i cant leave my mum and brother like that. i can't leave Xander at all ever. if my bestfriend kills himself while im in another state because his dad died and he lost both his parents, youre going to find me bled out on the bathroom floor. i get that you miss me, but i can't fuck up my schooling or my therapy and i can't just whimsically move like you did. i fucking cant. fuck you for thinking i can.