#its definitely been A Process
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idk the ace part was pretty gradual, it took me a while to figure out that my opinion on sex was Not The Norm and it took me turning 18/19 and realising that hookup culture doesn't gross out most people at that age and that being a virgin is somewhat frowned upon. Then i still had some doubts (hopes maybe??) but those immediately vanished after I kissed a guy for the first time and i hated it and it was disgusting, but all my friends were talking about how great and wonderful it was. so that pretty much solidified my hmmm probably ace moment.
Aro was only after I started to become active on tumbler and looking through the ace tag trying to figure out how exactly that label fit me, i stumbled upon the aro tag and read some posts others made and then compared those to my own experiences and figured that most likely im somewhere on the spectrum. figuring out i was aro was slightly more complicated, though, because i am very much sex averse, but fairly romance positive, i have just never actually felt that attraction so being in a community where at the time i saw mostly romance averse people it got me a fair deal of impostor syndrome and feeling 'not aro enough' (still kind of struggling with this tbh but its getting better)
storytime invitation?? i guess thats what youd call it
how did you know you were aromantic/asexual/aroace?
i knew i was ace from the moment i learned what sex was, like ummm!!! you can keep that to yourself actually
i realized i was aro way later (after i made this post actually), after my first real break up and was kinda like.. that was NOT it???? idk my idea of romance has always been just cuddles and quality time and i realized that's not the same for other people ??? people actually have a DESIRE to kiss other people????? absolutely not.
#thought this was interesting!#its definitely been A Process#and its led me to some awkward/embarrassing/difficult moments for me and others#but we got there in the end#also im not really out yet the only ones who knows are my friends who happened to be present for my drunk breakdowns during The Process#asexual#aromantic#aroace#asexuality#aromantism#ace#aro#aromantic asexual
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Selfish.
#hellooo doai sitcom au community#im no masterful comic artist but this idea has been spinning in my head like rotisserie chicken#basically what if clyde knew about alex becoming a veldigun and could stop the process by simply staying away from them#but decided not to cause (whether it likes it or not) they're it's first friend in a loong while (while also being useful)#clyde's moral compass definitely isn't perfect after all#i dunno... food for thought..#doodlesoup#doai#dreams of an insomniac#doai sitcom au#doai clyde#doai alex williams#i dont like the last page tbh but its probably fineee#oh yeah also clyde wants to keep the house bright so alex doesnt notice vision changes + the fact that their eyes are kiind of glowing
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I may be playing a DnD game with my friends in the near future so I thought I'd design a little guy for myself to play. I humbly present to you my bird bard barbarian.
#dnd#dungeons and dragons#dnd art#d&d#d&d art#aarakocra#australian magpie#magpie#my art#art#artists on tumblr#original character#oc art#original character art#character design#bard#barbarian#which yes is a very odd multiclass but i had reasons#the thought process for this lil' guy essentially was:#i'll play a barbarian -> i wanna play a bird -> aus magpies are very angry/ territorial -> but they also sing -> aha! bird bard barbarian!#followed by me realising yet again i have made myself a magpie persona. i swear it was unintentional this time!#they have been bequethed the name 'tibicen' because it is a. part of the scientific name for aus magies and b. means 'flute player'#(which is also part of the reason why i was like 'oh they definitely needs to be a bard')#how a bird can play a flute who can say. i've done my best to shape the mouthpiece in a way that would sense.#even if its more of a recorder than a flute now but welp. i tried#id in alt text
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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Daisuke's Notes on Robo-Ky's Concept:
A robot made by incorporating Ky's movements.
When we were developing the consumer version, we decided to add a bonus character. But we didn't have enough time to create any new characters. There was talk of making extra characters (characters with slightly different specs), which was what other companies were doing, but we felt that wouldn't be enough. We decided to thoroughly tinker with what we could, so we broke up Ky, added weird sound effects and gimmicks, and called him Robo-Ky. We joked that not only were the specs different, but the character itself was different too. However, he became quite popular and was promoted to a proper character on the roster later on. At first, his face was the same as Ky's. I decided to change it, making it more with a "robot" in mind. Or perhaps something like one of Leiji Matsumoto's robots, with a radar on his head. When you say "robot", there are all sorts of things that fall under this category like mobile suits, but when I say "robot", I mean it like this.
#SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS#anyways i wasnt expecting much about his personality or anything but i still like knowing the creation process#but its interesting that he has his own 'unique' definition of a robot#also keeping the thought in the back of my mind that in another interview daisuke said he really enjoyed designing robo ky#and considers him a personal favorite#guilty gear#robo ky
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what do the murder time trio turn into after they die??? well you know me. i totally have this figured out (smug emoji) (no i dont) ANYWAYS i definitely dont think that dust would dust away normally while horror bleeds out when he dies and killer melts away into a pile of nasty dt,,,,, IM LYING I DO. dust would dust away because he doesnt really have any body modifications that would result in anything special. horror bleeds out because its a horrortale monster staple to have more physical-ish forms because of their diet (horror doesnt,,, HAVE a diet so let's just say he bleeds AND dusts away) killer i feel is,,,,, incredibly obvious,,,,, like monsters with dt do i think he'd go all melty and goopy and thats how he dies! in a pile of himself,,,,ewuaghhhhh its STICKY 😞 AND incredibly corrosive???? UASGAHSGSUAH (my hand disintegrates)
#i didnt sneak this hc into my mtt fic no siree i definitely DIDNT#okaaaaay i miiiiightve....... just a bit though!!!! just a bit!!!!!! to add some interest because if they all dusted away it would be BORINF#it's far too late for me (i've been falling asleep like 2 hours earlier than 11:30 lately) so i really cant process any sort of additional#thoughts about this post even tho its a good idea and ausaghhhh i cant think and lowkey i said all i needed to say anyways!)#3/10.... drafted december 15...... not THAT old smh. probably why i was able to put it into the fic lul#tricule hc#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#this is all my fault i over estimated myself..... still have to finish jk fashion au stuff.....uuuughhhhhhhhhh
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I was reading back through caged lungs and I realized just how many times Donnie got hit in the head during the last fight and how hard, no wonder Leo is concerned about brain damage.
Also, when Donnie goes to see April at the end of chapter 2, is he just dissociating really hard or is that an actual physical symptom from the…everything really!
not to mention the oxygen deprivation with raph throttling him! the last fight is so visceral and nasty and it was the final nail in the coffin when it came to donnie's issues physically and mentally, because although he would have been terrified of them regardless i dont think it wouldve been "inconsolable screaming heap at the sound of raph's voice" like it was in the early bit of CW.
and id mark that as dissociation personally. the second he registered as being in relative safety he kind of shut down because he wasn't able to process it, which had kind of been a running coping mechanism through the last month or so of CL. MIND YOU: IT IS NOT HELPED ALONG BY THE BRAIN FOG CAUSED BY HIS TIME IN ISOLATION, its a nasty concoction of problems. and also yeah physical exhaustion definitely doesnt help! he ran all the way to april's apartment while actively starving, after all.
although itll get better after [REDACTED PLOT THREAD] is handled, i think dissociation is gonna be something donnie will be dealing with for years, because spending four days in a quiet, enclosed dark space has some extremely messed up consequences for your brain and body. it was also in general something he used to cope under the abuse, so i could see him having issues with it when he's not in his right mind (sick or sleep-deprived, for example), i could see him regressing back to that old mindset when something like that happens. his perception of reality is permanently a little fucked :(
#ask#canary continuity#theres a lot of factors you have to put together for donnie's behavior right now#he's been so stressed that he's been running a low grade fever#the consequences of being in solitary are still taking a toll on him#his brain automatically shuts down as a coping mechanism when triggered#and he's absolutely dealing with both ptsd (notably about the closet the final fight and mikey attacking him in the kitchen)#AND cptsd. he definitely has cptsd. this is for absolute certain cptsd#+ he's still on some strong painkillers which are distorting his perception of reality#the source of the nosebleeds could very well be stress to be optimistic. but. well =) who's to say#everythings horrible but donnie is STILL too overwhelmed to process#its going to hit him very soon and its not gonna be pretty!#also despite his developed claustrophobia ive been haunted by the mental image of him waking up sick and immediately trying to hide-#-under his bed like a YEAR after all of this and Ouurgghhh#one of them comes looking for him when he doesnt leave his room and he just claps his hands over his mouth when he hears their footsteps#and his mind is just an endless mantra of “hes going to find me hes going to find me hes going to find me”#he doesnt know what he's so scared of. he just knows that something bad is going to happen and he needs to stay quiet#(remember when leo dragged him out of the laundry room? that left scars)#just thought i should share that cause it wouldnt leave my brain <3
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My brain: Hey we're drawing ur s/i for the first time you should keep it simple like a model sheet-
Me: shut up *draws them in a funky pose*
Here we are, it's my Powerpuff Girls self-insert, Cherry Coading! They work at a robotics company in Townsville and specialize in software and programming. In fact, they're one of the best in her field, which has made her a target in a few of Mojo Jojo's schemes. Even when being held hostage and made to work against her will, though, her sweet and sunny demeanor that could warm the coldest of souls never falters; they somehow always find a way to see the good in everything - and everyone.
[Reblogs are all seen and so appreciated!! 💖💖💖 S/i uses she/they interchangably.]
[WIP pics, pose reference, and tag list below the cut vvv]
Click here to be added, edited or removed from my tag list!
@ava-ships, @bee-ships, @beetleboyfriend, @canongf, @clawfull,
@cloudyvoid, @derelictdumbass, @judetama, @dissonantyote, @edencantstopfallininlove,
@final-catboy, @gible-love-nibles, @halsdaisy, @hoppinkiss, @hotrodharts,
@hyperionshipping, @iyamifucker, @lex-n-weegie, @little-miss-selfships, @little-shiny-sharpies,
@loogi-selfships, @mothfinite, @mandrakebrew, @mintpecks, @mrs-kelly,
@nameless-self-ships, @nerdstreak, @paper-carnation, @patches-and-her-selfships, @p-i-t-s,
@reds-self-ships, @rexscanonwife, @ship-trek, @spacestationstorybook, @squips-ship,
@flowering-darkness, @scroldie, @toogayforthistoday, @winterworlds
#eeeeee this was so fun to do!!! its been so long since i did traditional art 🥺💖💖💖💖💖💖#the linework was definitely the most fun to do hehehehe 💖💖💖#but man it hasnt even been 24 hours and i already have an s/i designed for this ship.... AAAAAAH#anyways here u go guys enjoy 🥺💖🥺💖🥺💖🥺#🍒🧬: emotional processing lag#💜: loving you's a felony#self shipping#self insert community#self ship community#oc x canon#ok to rb
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ok so. i was cleaning out my pictures folder today. and i happened to come across a sketch from 2021 that may or may not be related to the same concept as this. but like a. darker, edgier version. if you catch my drift.
but the thing is i do NOT see myself finishing it, seeing as it's already been nearly 4 years since i sketched it out and i'm still fighting the burnout demons from hell and all that. but it IS very silly to me and frankly very good timing for me to have found this sketch right now
so basically what i'm wondering is would any of y'all be interested in like a dtiys / open collab type of thing with underfell papyrus as shadow the hedgehog
here's a hint of the sketch if it helps
i've admittedly already tweaked it a good bit & i'd probably clean it up a lil more just for clarity if i actually go through with this but for now i just wanna see if i can rope anyone else into being insane with me. its actually pretty fun messing with the design & proportions to try and fit the silhouette of a very cartoonish hedgehog and i'd love to see other ppl's takes on it
#trousled rambles#if u guys would be interested in this pls pls let me know!!!!!!#it seems like fun to me but if i dont get a lotta responses i'll prob just post the sketch on its own anyway bc it's still a funny concept#but it could be a whole lot more fun if i can get other ppl to join in >:3#i'd have it as both an open collab and a dtiys thing so u can choose between just finishing the sketch or doing your own take altogether#either one would be awesome to see methinks!!!!!!#btw u can definitely tell it's been 4 yrs bc ohhh god this is so very much not my sketching process anymore#abandoning lineart has made my sketches wayyy cleaner lol. like for reference that last one i just posted was barely cleaned up at all#plus the light purple default textureless circle sai brush feels soo weird to draw with again. thats not who i am anymore...............#i will not be redrawing this tho. that is probably not conducive to treat burnout if i had to guess#(<-- the artist says 2 days after drawing & fully coloring a fullbody sketch with no warmup bc they wanted to draw a skeleton in pajamas)#i really do just have full conversations with myself in these tags to stall hitten the post button huh. ok posting now u get it lmao
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Enough time has passed to where I think we can openly admit how WK has gone through seasonal rot within its previous 2 seasons and how the hype of Season 7 along with the generally positive reception is a really green flag for the show's quality.
#wild kratts#pbs kids#kratt brothers#martin kratt#chris kratt#pbs kids go#2d kratt brothers#2d martin kratt#2d chris kratt#because season 5 and 6 were.... not good to say the least#S5 took a hard plummet in quality after the Alaska special#Idk how to describe it but episodes felt more flat and basic more often than not despite there being several good ones in the mix too#S6 was slightly better but still felt more two-dimensional and basic and oddly oversaturated (and I don't just mean in the color palate)#I know Season 7's only been out for barely a year and we've only had 8-10 episodes released#But I do think that this season is substantially different than the previous two.#It feels a lot more experimental in its concepts whilst utilizing the show's strengths#Sometimes it works like with Clever the Raven or the Blue and Green special#Sometimes it doesn't like with the Mudskipper episode#But you can tell that they've some ideas in mind that you definitely wouldn't find in other seasons.#It genuinely makes me both curious and optimistic. Bc again it took 2 years to film this season.#There's definitely more time put into the writing process as earlier seasons.#I'm gonna hold some reservations until the season ends but it's shaping up to be pretty good so far.
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GPTim having both visual and hearing disabilities is so important to me. That man’s eyes were *burned out* when he *exploded the moon* his hearing is gonna be affected also; and having functional accessibility aids (his mechanical eyes, here) does not equal not disabled, it just means that the disability manifests differently.
#its definitely not just important to me because of projecting. not at all#the mechanisms#gunpowder tim#migraines and photophobia seems to be p common hcs for him. but under the belief that his eyes function *better* than organic eyes.-#he likely struggles to process visual information. his orhanic brain wasnt made for that input. especially with the belief that his eyes-#were originally made for brian who has a mechanical brain#tangentially. do you think his an brians eyes were made without a blind spot?#often its thought that tims eyes are newer and more advanced than brians. but what if theyre an old pair. old prototype or something#or what if they are newer but he would function *better* if they just. like. switched. for information overload reasons#i have so many thoughts about their eyes now.#also. like. we 100% have seen that mechanical eyes which have been abandoned by their creator does not turn out well for the user#*glares at real world events*
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can i ask.how u guys practice ur creativity <3 how u practice ur imagination or like.. how u experiment with ur art, how u come to ideas and how u develop them.<3 pretty please <3
#smthing i have always struggled w.is feeling like i can only draw things that r handed 2 me.#as in.an idea or concept that already exists#chara or conflict that already exists.Scene that alr exists.#and i think it can be soo limiting bc when i have that sort of creative desire but nothing 2 reflect off of it#i feel like im unable to do anything/get anywhere bc im unable to do that mental legwork myself ykwim#like comic artists r SOOO JAW DROP INSPIRING TO MEE bc not only are u envisioning ur own sequences/situations#but u are able to imagine even the most MUNDANE interactions within those scenarios u know#like the transitory panels and the quiet moments and the every day stillness#and i feel like.its not even a poor attempt on my behalf its like.i cant Even attempt it.like my brain is soo empty#and soo static and noiseless that i am like gauhh......#i can practice lines all day long and practice colors and practice anatomy or Whatever bc its something concrete#and its in front of me and i can pry apart the physical technicalities until i understand it better#but my MIND???ABSTRACTION>? THOUGHTS .ough its so hard#and i really want to push past that but i dont know how and its so .. demoralizing to think that ill get there One Day but i feel#one million and two days away.and not making active process towards it.#i know the first step is to build ur visual library and i feel liek. idk i FEEL LIKEEE theres more 2 it that im missing#but also im depressed as hell n my job is killing my creative drive and the seasonal stuff isnt helping#so maybe i just need 2 give it time (true) but i also like.man i dont know. i want 2 do something w my hands#but everything ive been doing so far has felt soo .hard and fruitless and i definitely dont want 2 turn art into such a stressful thing#fruitless as in like.i dont get any personal satisfaction w it.idgaf abt monetization or algorithms or any of tht#but smtimes thats just what happens and i have 2 weather through and know ill be more equipped 4 this some other time#SAWRYYY IM ALWAYS GOING ON AND ONNN im nromal im normal<3 i just rly like art and it sucks balls whn it feels out of reach#sigh cry fart scroll.(:salute:)
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tatsumi (enstars x hnk au)
#nep draws things#ensemble stars#enstars#sketch#tatsumi kazehaya#enstars x hnk au#ive been drawing ever since i woke up hjsdfj i think i should take a break#since the quartz is a much higher hardness level its very clunky to walk around in for tatsumi and he eventually gets used to it but its-#-definitely a process for him but for most of the time he covers it up with powder so you dont see the quartz#no gloves because he's a softer gem + socks are lower to signify he's a softer gem. and yet he still insists on fighting (DUDE U ALREADY LO#T UR LEG PLEASE THE LUNARIANS ARE GONNA COME BACK TO GET THE REST OF YA#anyway. sillysmile :) ttmy patrol together they are aware of e/o's impurities but love every part of e/o nonetheless < from tea (TY BTW <3)#tysm again tea for reminding me of this au i go craazy#i should redo airas sometime .. hm. lets hope i dont go into burnout HA#sorry to the people in my inbox rn but i AM TAKING A BREAK FOR THE REST OF THE DAY MY HAND IS DEAD SDJKFKJ
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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MAN your art, but especially the latest pieces of Walking Fire Friend and Sparkle Dog really have the vibes of like, sanrio?? I want stickers and half a dozen accessories with them plastered all over so bad
!!! thank u for the kind words!! im playing around with the halftone effect, i like how it makes it look like a newspaper comic ^_^
#i also wanna design stickers so sososo bad.. id love to make some skip to loafer stickers with the main four <3#i dont reallyknow much abt the process itself though.. and i dont have a paypal or any way to send or receive money in the first place orz#im sure ill do it once i figure it out but i appreciate the sentiment!!!#its been my dream to make my own custom motivational stickers with little dogs.. like the ones i used to get in grade school lol#im not sure if ill keep going in this direction with my art bc its all experimental but its been really fun playing around with it#its bothered me for the longest time that im just ass at rendering or putting detail in my art. but at the end of the day i just dont#care enough to go thru with it and i prefer to keep things simple anyway so that reflects my own tastes ig...#this is probably the closest ill get to a soft render that i like to see so if i could do more for that ill definitely try...!!!!#yapping#ask#answered#doodles#sona#puppysona
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This might sound attention seeking so I'm sorry if it does, it is not my intention, I am just looking for a distraction.
Since my anxiety is actively trying to kill me, I'd really appreciate some asks or something
The more bizarre the question, the better, but I'll take things for my wips or ocs
Just anything to distract me from the fact I feel rather miserable lately
*i get sappy in the tags*
#i have been absolutely going through it for a long ass time now#and i sincerely appreciate everyone who has stayed and supported me/my work#i am so awful at really expressing it but i do not know where i would be without the support im getting from some of yall#yall are so patient with me even though i am constantly complaining and just avoiding working on certain wips because im stuck#im having a health problem that is making me seriously reconsider if i should go back to school in january#and its added a layer of stress to the already stressful process of enrolling in college#i have so many things i still need to get done for going back soon but my health may end up not allowing me to go back in january#its absolutely terrifying still not having a definite on whats going to happen come the new year#and its made engaging on here difficult#its made writing difficult#its made honestly just existing difficult but that i can cope with#i really appreciate everyone that has stopped by and taken time to hang out on my blog with me#it really does mean so much to me and i really wish i could get these personal things figured out sooner#so i can give back to yall for what youve done for me#certified snootles moment
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