#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time
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carbonfiction · 2 days ago
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Could you do some angst Logan x mutant!reader comfort. Like maybe she has a similar origin to Logan where she was tested on for her powers and escaped. She ends up at the mansion and that’s how her and Logan end up together.
I’ve been wanting to write this myself for a while but haven’t had time. I need to see some truama bonding and comfort for that man with someone who really understands what it’s like. I would give anything to be that person. 😭
Hi anon!! Im so sorry this has taken me so long to get to- despite some little changes on the request, and my unsureness on writing angst, i hope you enjoy this drabble!
One step at a time
Summary: sleep can be a fickle thing, a struggle more personal than most.. But it just so happens theres another person in the mansion that understands. Written with X1 logan in mind!
Warnings?: angst, mentions of nightmares and troubled sleep, self doubt, slight depression? Comfort and fluff at the end? Idk how to tag this really.. Words: 1.5k Masterlist
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People were scared of things they didn’t understand, of people that didn’t fit in to a societal box. And being a mutant? Well, you became the scariest thing of all. An unknown, a secret unshared in a room full of people.
To some, that fear, that little nagging doubt about what you are, what you could do.. fuelled somthing else entirely. Not fear, not quite, more an evil kind of curiosity. A fixation to poke and prod, bend and snap, push the limits of their fear regardless of yours in the name of science. Regardless that you too, we’re a person, different now yes, but still born of the same matter once.
Careless to the person you were, only the thing you could become. And even then, if you weren’t useful.. you were useless. Another mistake in a pile of scraped idea's, a caged creature begging for a way out.
You never wanted it, never asked to sit in a room and wonder why. Why you, why this. There was never a good enough answer, never a reason, not really. Some People were just cruel, vile and nasty, out for their own gain.. to test the limits of humanity.
But then it begged the question, what was humanity? Because it wasn’t this. It wasn’t the sleepless nights afraid to close your eyes. The sanctity of sleep a luxury. Peace a rationed thing.
Therefore It had become normal to find you in the dead of night, curled up the couch in front of the fireplace; whilst everyone else slumbered. Sometimes a book in hand, other times just your thoughts. Embered flames burning bright and warm, the crackle of wood often the only sound. It was how your relationship with Logan had bloomed.
From wordless nods walking down corridors to conversations and nights shared infront of the fire; he had become pleasant company, a friend you regarded higher- one who understood better- than most. He'd seen the same horrors behind his eyes, the years a tiresome thing.
So it's here you sit, like always, in your spot on the couch peering between pages of a book and the old grandfather clock, waiting for Logan.
It was late and he'd usually show up around now, your meetings held in a trusted pact- an agreement that if sleep held pain, this is where you'd find one another. It was up to choice then, if you'd relocate to one of your room's; if you felt the embrace of the others arms would quiet the horror, just for a while.
Because while it's true that you both may no longer be broken here in the mansion.. you'd always be bruised bone deep.
"Hey" Logan murmers softly, breaking you from your thoughts as you crane your neck toward him. Hes stood tall in the doorway, clad in sweats and a white vest, two steaming mugs in hand as he pads closer, handing you one over the back of the couch. "Figured you'd want a drink, tried to make it how you like"
You nod, taking a tentative sip with a greatful smile. Your eyes fluttering shut a moment as you swallow, relishing the warmth. Logan had indeed made it the exact way he knew you loved, and it swells your heart; the fondness you feel for the action- for him. "'S perfect, thank you.."
"Was nothin.." he shrugs, sighing into his own cup, back hitting the couch besides you. the cushions are a soft embrace for his aching body, the days seeming longer. He'd confessed one night, that the winter had never helped his affliction. That the cold air made his adamantium bones ache in a way that seemed impossible to describe. The sting of his knuckles that bit sharper with each snikt of his claws.
You shift quietly, book page marked and now placed on the coffee table. Logan watches silently as you reach for the soft blanket that lays dormant on the back. Your fingers adjusting the fabric carefully, unfolding and draping it until it rests over his knees too.
Logan smiles, a look reserved for these nights- for you- in his eyes. Its a soft, greatful, little thing; Unreminicent of his usual gruff demeanor. he lifts a large arm bringing it to rest snug behind your shoulders, tugging you closer.
Theres a comfortable silence that follows then, sat side by side. Logan simply watches as you pick the book back up, resuming your page. A warm feeling in his chest that he hasn't felt for a while as your eyes flit across the words.
He still cant understand how anyone could- would- hurt you. Would even dare harm a delicate hair on your head. It boils a possessive type of anger inside of him, that people, the very same that had hurt him, had dared. That they had ruined your trust, made you into something of their design, just like him.
And Its then that Logan cant help how his mouth moves, how it burts the words before he can even think to stop them, make them sound less jumbled. "You uh.. didn't deserve it you know?.. What they did"
The words feel foreign on his tongue but they hold meaning- one that you can feel as you cast your gaze to him.
Theres a look in your eyes he cant quite read as you hum honestly. "Neither did you. you know that right?"
And Logan knows. Hell its deep down but he knows. Yet hearing the words still bring an ache to his chest. Its beyond hard for him to even think about- admit really- even after all this time. He hadn't deserved it and neither had you. But that was certain weather perceived or not.
"Im.. Tired, logan" you trail quietly, casting your book aside as your head falls to rest on his shoulder. "Just.. So tired of being tired."
A shattering feeling stabs at Logan's chest from your admission, a sigh falling against your hair. "I know you are. Hell so am i but.." he pauses, trying to find the correct sentiment.
"We- you- can do this"
You can't help the exhaled sound that slips from you, not a laugh, not not a breath either. "Logan-" you try to protest, try to shift back inside your non vulnerable shell ready to shut down, but he has you locked next to him, fingers coming to rest on your jaw.
"No, look at me, Cmon" he murmurs, cupping and turning your cheek gently until your gaze meet his. "like you told me that once. Its one step at a time alright?"
You recall saying it, remember the context, and yet the idea of saying it to yourself feels foreign- as foreign as the words blurted from logans tongue.
He'd had a nightmare that night, had woken with a hoarse scream and his claws embedded in the plush mattress; pillows ruined with feathers everywhere, soaked in sweat. You'd come barreling in from downstairs having heard his sounds of distress, knowing the situation.
But.. You hadn't laughed, despite him being so surrounded by pillow feathers that he's sure he looked like big bird. You hadn't been cruel or judgemental, pitty in your eyes. You'd just been.. Well, you. Kind and understanding, reassuring him that it was okay, that he was safe. To take a shower and you'd sort the rest. It was from then that the fondness he felt for you had bloomed to something a little more inside of him.
You nod gently, a small, barely there smile on your lips now as you repeat. The light of the fire a soft glow in your eyes, tone a fraction more hopeful. "One step at a time"
"Yeah, thats it sweetheart" he smiles gently, a proud look in his own eye's, before his throat clears. A bashful look taking over his features as he continues, thumb absentmindedly stroking over your cheekbone. A distraction to the honesty he was going to drop "Besides.. you got this knucklehead who'd really like to keep this.. Us.. up"
You swallow, breath stuttering as your cheeks heat."You.. You would?" you sound a little surprised, yet a little hopeful, and It makes Logan smile, hearing your heart pounding in your chest.
"Yeah sweetheart" he breathes, voice a low gravel as he anxiously nods, before rushing to add. "if- if thats something you'd want?"
"Yes!" you exclaim, so excitedly it makes logan chuckle, the deep rumble joining the crackling fire. "I, uh, i mean.. ofcourse i do Logan"
Logans fingers tilt your face higher, his forehead coming to rest on yours as your fingers trace over his scruff coated jaw. "Things are better with you.." you murmer, breath puffing over his lips. "Lighter. You get it, get me.. This.."
He hardly lets you finish before his lips are pressed to yours, breaking the miniscule gap between them. His kiss so uncharacteristically gentle, like he was afraid one taste and you'd break.
"Things are better with you too.." he says quietly, forehead on yours, a smile against your mouth as his nose rubs your cheek.
And so Its that night you both agree, while wrapped up in one another, that things are better together. Better with each others shoulder to lean on. And despite the darkness that would still linger sometimes, that's all that mattered. You and him. Him and you.
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rungssparemodelpieces · 3 days ago
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Dating the Lost Light crew
Megatron
* It takes a lot of convincing to get Megatron to date you, throwing every excuse he could to convince you, or rather himself, that he wasn’t even close to the best option and yet you persisted and he had to give you that, finally relenting though not without some hesitations. To date him posed a lot of risks, not only to your safety as an ex-warlord has many, MANY enemies, but your standing in society and friends, and you were willing to risk it all for him? He felt like he didn’t deserve this, like he didn’t deserve you, but maybe this was just another step on his road to redemption, to feel loved and feel worthy of it.
* Megatron and you have planned out our relationship as to not alert anyone on the Light Lost or anywhere else. Professional during the day but in the berth behind closed doors, you could be as loving towards him as you’d like. Though the arrangement made him feel better about keeping you safe, there were some downsides to the arrangement. For you, it was the want to be affectionate; to hold his hand, kiss him helm, to tell him you loved him, and you couldn’t do that outside of the berth. For him, he couldn’t stay by your side when out, which caused some bots to see you as available and wouldn’t take no for an answer. If he stepped in, Megatron’s actions could be seen as suspicious but for the most part, you’ve been able to get your way out of those situations by either sneaking away or getting Magnus involved. Megatron might have alerted him to the inappropriate behavior though
* Speaking of affection, Megatron isn’t the most affectionate bot in general. In fact, you could say he was opposed to it but it’s more complicated than that. During the war, he was more focused on his cause and efforts towards total victory than his own personal needs but never received it as much either. Frag, he’s even admitted he’d never been hugged before! He’s slow with showing affection but you have a lot of patience and love to give him which he appreciates. It starts simply with grazes of his servos, hand holding, and helm presses with most initiated by you but over time, he bridges that effort and will return the small gestures in turn.
* If you define his love language, it would be words of affirmation. Megatron uses his words, especially his writing, to convey his emotions to you. Whether it be a simple haiku to tell you how much he loves you or a something more elaborate to describe the little things you did like the way you did on your work, your gaze focused and intense, or what he loves about you such as your kindness and your humor. He’ll share some of these with you but others he’ll keep to himself, especially if their a little more spicy or personal. Perhaps he will when the time is right? On the other hand, you’ve tried to come up with your own poetry in order to flirt with him which started out rather… poorly but Megs is willing to teach you the style and form to help you improve. Some of these sessions though end up becoming endurance rounds for how much you can flirt, tease, and praise him before he ends the session by one means or another…
* Of course some bots had to know like Ravage, given how close he is to Megatron, but others either got suspicious or tried to unravel the depths of your relationship. Rodimus speculated for a long time something was up but couldn’t quite catch you in the act. Rodimus would tell Ultra Magnus something was up but Magnus would bring up a logical explanation for your interactions which was starting to drive Rodimus a little mad.
* Whether the relationship is exposed on purpose or on accident, the shock is not as bad as initially thought though Rodimus will gloat for a long time that he knew from the very beginning and Ultra Magnus does give a short speech regarding policies on dating coworkers but overall, the reception of the news was well taken, albeit with some teasing and jokes made at your expense.
* Being an older bot, you do nag him on taking better care of himself. Millions of years and his previous professions have left some aches and pain in his frame and joints that he keeps delaying taking care of but being together, you make sure Megatron actually does take care of himself or else you force him to due it, either by his or your hand. If you’re an older bot/human, you try to include him to your routines on your own self maintenance and it creates a nice bonding experience for the both of you.
* You’ve perfected the art of mimicking Megatron’s disappointed and frustrated faces though more unintentional than mocking. Being around him as long as you have, you picked up his gestures when he gets upset with his fellow co-captain. If Megs is not on the bridge and needs to convey his disappointment, you take the mantle and let Rodimus know how his co-captain feels. Even when he’s there, Rodimus ends up getting a doubled up look of disapproval.
NSFW
* Megatron does have some experience in the berth though it has been a while since he’s been intimate with someone. He takes it slowly with you, but there are moments where his needs outweigh the pace he set for himself and he just needs a good frag. Just because he’s an old mech doesn’t mean he down and out! He’s rather awkward with aftercare due to his previously mentioned affection issues but he does get better with time, rubbing your back or letting you rest against him while you catch your breath.
* If you are human, he would prefer to use his holoform as to not hurt you while making love. but you can sweet talk him into interfacing all natural. Can be on top or bottom but gets a certain thrill watching you ride him with either you setting the pace or if he needs to take control, can take a hold of your sides and pick up speed along with the snap of his hips, becoming more of a vessel for his spike to fill up completely.
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peppermintquartz · 1 day ago
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(felt like adding something to this)
Buck stumbles out of bed and gets to his door before the knocking gets any more agitated. No one has texted him to say they're coming over, so it may be an irate neighbor here to complain about the KitchenAid.
He's not ready to see Tommy standing outside in a black fitted tee and tight jeans.
Tommy looks... different, in the week since he walked out on Buck. His shoulders aren't rounded and his posture is perfect. There's a sharpness to his jaw and his hair is gelled with a swoop. And he's wearing boots instead of his usual sneakers.
"Evan?"
Buck blinks. Something is wrong. This isn't how Tommy says his name, unless Tommy really doesn't -
"Tommy."
"No, not Tommy. I'm Donovan. Tommy is my younger brother - twins." He flashes a smile, and it's so similar to Tommy yet so different that Buck's mind is reeling. "He was supposed to introduce us next week, when I have time to come and stay for the weekend."
Inhaling sharply, Buck takes a step back. "He has a twin. Six months... What other secrets did he have? Maybe he's not even gay! M-maybe he has a, a wife and three kids and that's why-"
"Hey, Evan, breathe. Relax."
"Don't call me Evan," Buck snaps at Not-Tommy. Donovan. "Shit. This is... This is bullshit."
Donovan steps back and holds up his hands. "I don't know what I'm supposed to call you, because Tommy only ever talked about his 'boyfriend Evan' to me."
"Buck. You can call me Buck."
"And I prefer Rocker." Rolling his eyes at Buck's quizzical frown, he says, "Tommy and I are twins that didn't grow up together. Since we were eight, we've been living with different parents. Divorce. Mom got me, Dad got him. It sucked for Tommy and Mom tried her best, but, well."
"Still doesn't explain why Tommy didn't mention a twin."
"Look, can we talk inside?" Rocker asks.
Buck folds his arms and blocks the door. "No."
"Dude, I just wanna-"
"Donny!" The shout comes from the elevator. Buck looks over and his heart skips three beats. It's Tommy, the real one, and he looks an absolute mess. He's a little broader in the jaw and the features of his face softer, gentler. He's not shaven, there are bags under his eyes, and his hair is frizzy and tangled in the longer parts. The shirt he has on is a size larger and his jeans are relaxed fit and he has his blue Reeboks on.
That's his Tommy.
(His. His his his his his.)
"I'm trying to help," Rocker says, his hands on his hips.
Tommy makes a face and his mouth goes thin and unhappy. "You can't just show up at my boyfriend's place - ex-boyfriend. I meant." He clears his throat and glances at Buck. "Sorry. We'll leave."
"Hell we are," says Rocker. He slings an arm around his twin's waist and catches Tommy's free arm before he can land a punch. "Baby bro, I've taken down armed men who want to kill me. Your efforts are futile."
"You're the fucking worst."
Buck stares at the two, and exhales heavily. Stranger things have happened. He steps aside and says, "I've a walnut loaf and an apple pie that needs eating. Come on in."
As Tommy is dragged past him, Buck says, "If you call me Buck, I'll whack you with a rolling pin."
Donovan Rocker tilts his head and a delighted smile creeps onto his face. "Oh, so that's why I can't call you Evan!"
"This had better be good," Buck grumbles, even though he's secretly happy to shut and lock the door with Tommy in here with him. His brother can find his own way down from the balcony.
"Donny, not today."
"Hell you mean not today," Donovan Rocker pushes his way into his twin brother's house. "You drunk called me, crying about your boyfriend whom you were supposed to introduce to me next week, saying that you broke up 'for his own good', and you think I won't take a couple days off to check on you? Fat chance, fathead."
Tommy groans and drops onto his sofa. "Whatever, man."
"What happened?"
"He asked me to move in with him."
"Tommy that's awesome! You love the guy!"
Tommy cracks open an eye. "Donny, he didn't even tell me he loves me. And I have a fucking house, okay? I have a whole damned house which you are sitting in."
Rocker makes a face. "Did you say that to him?"
"Like that's gonna make a difference." Tommy shuts his eyes and tilts his head back. "Fuck. Fuck all this. At least now he doesn't have to know how shitty I am."
Humming in sympathy, Rocker sits next to Tommy and carefully gathers his twin into a hug. Tommy resists a little at first, but then gives in to lie on Rocker's shoulder, curling his socked feet onto the cushions.
"Sometimes I think Mom should've fought harder to have custody of us both," Rocker says quietly, after a while. "She'd have got that low self-esteem out of you somehow."
"Yeah, well. Wishes and horses."
Rocker kisses the top of his twin's head. "I'll stay here tonight, baby bro. Seems like you need someone in your corner."
"I'm only eight minutes younger," Tommy grumbles, but he doesn't chase Rocker away; his arms wrap more tightly around his twin, pretending it's not a different body he wants in his embrace.
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snowysosturn · 3 days ago
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Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo Part 13
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Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13
Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo
Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?
Warnings : MDNI, mentions of drugs, mentions of selling drugs, angst, cursing, mentions of death, funeral
Y/n’s POV
The question hangs in the air between us, heavy and loaded with meaning. Chris stares at me, his face open and expectant, as if my answer could anchor him in a storm.
But I’m torn. Of course, I want to say yes, I want to be his girlfriend, to hold onto this version of Chris that I know and love, the one who stayed up late talking with me, who made me laugh even when everything around us felt like it was falling apart. But there’s another side to him too, a side tied to danger and darkness, and I’m not sure I can step into that world willingly.
I hesitate, my thoughts racing. Part of me wonders if his sudden proposal is his way of trying to hold on to something good, something normal, while everything else crumbles around him. If that’s true, then I want to be there for him. I do. But I also need to protect myself.
I look down, fiddling with the hem of my hoodie as I gather my thoughts. “Chris..” I start, my voice quiet. He watches me intently, like his entire world is balancing on the edge of my words. “I’ll be your girlfriend..” I pause, and his face lights up with hope. “..but on one condition.”
His eyebrows furrow slightly, but he nods immediately. “Of course, Y/n. I’ll do anything.”
“You meet my parents. Thursday night. We all have dinner here.” I say, meeting his eyes steadily.
The shift in his expression is subtle but telling. His jaw tenses, and his eyes widen slightly in surprise, as if he hadn’t anticipated this. “Thursday?” he repeats, his tone neutral, but I can tell he’s taken aback.
“Yes” I say firmly. “I know it seems like it’s happening all very fast, but that’s just the way things have gone for us. I bite my lip, trying to find the right words. “Usually, if I’m seeing a guy, he meets my parents before I become their girlfriend. It’s just.. how I do things.”
He looks at me for a moment, processing what I’ve said. Then he nods, his expression softening. “No, no don’t worry. I get it. I’ll be there. Thursday night. I promise.”
I let out a small sigh of relief but kept my gaze steady on his. “I’m trusting you, Chris.” I say, my voice firm.
He steps closer, his eyes searching mine. “Good” he says, a small, determined smile tugging at his lips. “And you better know you can.”
His words hold weight, but I still feel a flicker of uncertainty in my chest. Before I can dwell on it, Chris leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips. It’s gentle and reassuring, and for a moment, I let myself sink into it, forgetting everything else.
When he pulls back, his eyes linger on mine, as if he’s memorising my face. Then he steps back toward the treehouse railing. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay” I whisper, watching as he climbs down the treehouse with ease, disappearing into the shadows of the night.
As I head back inside, my heart feels heavy with anticipation. I know I’ve just taken a step forward with Chris, but Thursday looms over me like a test for both of us. Meeting my parents feels like a necessary move, a way to bridge the gap between the life he’s trying to leave and the one we could have together.
I hope he’s ready. I hope I am too.
Chris’ POV
The moment I ask her the question, time seems to slow down. My heart pounds in my chest as I wait for her answer, each second dragging on like an eternity. Her silence feels heavier with every passing moment, and I start to wonder if I miscalculated. Did I rush this? Was it too soon?
But then she finally speaks, her voice soft yet steady. "I’ll be your girlfriend.. but on one condition."
My stomach knots. A condition? What does she mean? I don’t care what it is, I just want her to say yes. “Of course, Y/n. I’ll do anything,” I reply quickly, my words spilling out before I can even think about them.
“You meet my parents. Thursday night. We all have dinner here.” she says.
My jaw almost drops. Thursday.
Danny’s funeral is Thursday.
Panic rises in my chest, but I shove it down. I can’t say no - not after I just told her I’d do anything. I can’t back out now, not after I’ve pushed for this. It’s fine. I’ll make it work. I’ll handle both.
“Thursday?” The word slips out before I can stop myself, my brain still scrambling to process the situation.
Y/n doesn’t miss a beat. “I know it seems like it’s happening all very fast, but that’s just the way things have gone for us. Usually, if I’m seeing a guy, he meets my parents before I become their girlfriend. It’s just… how I do things.”
She’s right. Nothing about this - us - has been normal. From the way we met again to the way everything has unfolded since, it’s all been chaos. But hearing her lay it out like that makes me realise how much she wants something solid, something normal.
And I want that too.
“No, nondon’t worry. I get it. I’ll be there. Thursday night. I promise.” I say, trying to reassure her as much as myself.
Her eyes search mine, and I can see the weight behind her next words. “I’m trusting you, Chris.”
“Good” I say, forcing a small smirk onto my face even as my thoughts race. “And you better know you can.”
I lean in to kiss her, trying to focus on the moment, on her. Her lips are soft and warm, grounding me in a way nothing else has been able to lately.
But as I climb down the treehouse, my mind is already spinning. Thursday is going to be a big day.
Danny’s funeral. Meeting Y/n’s parents. Balancing the life I’ve been stuck in with the one I want to build with her.
I’ve got to make this work. There’s no other option. For her, for us, I’ve got to figure it out.
Y/n’s POV
The next morning, I wake up with a spring in my step, a feeling I haven’t had in a long time. I’m someone’s girlfriend now. Chris’ girlfriend. The thought alone makes me giddy, and I can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face as I get out of bed.
Walking down the stairs, I’m greeted by the warm, sugary smell of pancakes wafting through the air. Mom must be making them. Everything about this moment feels so perfect, like my life is being romanticised in real time. The soft hum of a song on the radio, the sun streaming through the kitchen window - it’s all so idyllic.
"Good morning, sweetheart." my mom greets me as I walk into the kitchen.
"Good morning" I reply, my eyes darting to the stack of pancakes on the counter. "Those smell amazing."
“There are three there with your name on them” she says with a smile. “Any chance you can pick up a shift at the bridal studio early tomorrow?”
"Yeah, tomorrow’s cool with me" I say, grabbing a plate and drizzling syrup over my pancakes. Then, the thought strikes me – this feels like the perfect time to tell the news. "But.. I may have a request about tomorrow evening."
"A request?" she raises an eyebrow, setting down her coffee mug.
I hesitate for a second, then decide to just say it. "I may or may not have a boyfriend… and I’d like you and Dad to meet him. I’ve invited him around for dinner."
My mom freezes mid sip, her eyes widening. "Boyfriend?" she exclaims, her jaw practically dropping. "I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone! What’s the lucky boy’s name?"
"I know" I shrug casually, trying to downplay the excitement bubbling inside me. "His name is Chris. I’ve actually known him since I was 15, so we didn’t need to do the whole awkward getting to know each other thing."
"Oh, that sounds nice" she says, her tone softening. "Dinner’s perfect for me. Does seven o’clock sound okay?"
"Seven is perfect" I say with a grin. "I’ll let Chris know."
I pull out my phone to text him, but before I can type anything, I see a message from him already sitting there.
Good morning, girlfriend, it reads.
I blush, feeling the butterflies stir in my stomach as I reread his message. My fingers tap against the screen, my cheeks flushed.
Good morning, boyfriend, I reply, adding another message right after. Dinner at mine at 7 tomorrow.
As I press send, I can’t help but smile. Everything feels so good right now, so right. I just hope this moment isn’t fleeting. Tomorrow is going to be big, and I can only hope it’ll go as smoothly as this morning has.
Chris’ POV
The time between asking Y/n to be my girlfriend and Thursday morning blurred by like a whirlwind. It felt like I’d barely had a chance to breathe. Most of it was spent at Nate’s side, trying my best to console him. He’s been a wreck, and honestly, who could blame him? Danny was more than just family to him – he was like a brother.
When I arrive at Nate’s house early Thursday morning, dressed in a suit that feels too stiff and suffocating, the weight of the day ahead presses down on me. The door swings open, and Nate is there. His eyes are bloodshot, his face pale and hollow. He looks like he didn’t sleep a wink, and the lingering redness in his eyes tells me he’s been crying all night long.
"You ready, bro?" I ask softly.
Nate nods but doesn’t say a word. The silence is heavy between us as we climb into the car with a few other guys from the crew and head toward the church.
When we arrive, the sight of the crowd hits me like a ton of bricks. There are what feels like hundreds of people here, most of them dressed in black, with small hints of red - a tie here, a pocket square there. In the distance, someone sets off red flares, their smoke curling into the sky like ghostly fingers. Red for Crimson.
It leaves a strange, sour feeling in my stomach. Danny’s dead because of Crimson, more or less, yet here we all are, honouring him in a way that ties him forever to this life. It’s how he’ll always be remembered – not just as Danny, but as Danny of the Crimson Cartel.
As we step out of the car, the murmurs of the crowd grow louder. Everyone gathered outside the church, some crying softly, others exchanging quiet nods. We make our way inside, Nate walking just ahead of me, carrying Danny’s coffin. The air in the church is thick with grief, the kind that makes it hard to breathe.
Inside, the scene is sombre yet overwhelming. Huge flower displays are arranged near the altar, spelling out words that hit like a punch to the gut: Son, Friend, Cousin. Right beside them, a framed photo of Danny, smiling as if he didn’t have a care in the world.
The priest steps up to the altar's microphone, his voice calm and steady as he welcomes everyone and begins with a few prayers. The soft hum of the organ fills the space, but my mind is elsewhere.
I glance over at Nate. He’s staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched so tight I wonder if it might shatter. I can feel his pain like a wave rolling off him, threatening to drown us both.
It still doesn’t feel real. Danny’s gone. And as much as I want to feel something, sadness, anger, guilt, it hasn’t fully hit me yet. Maybe I’m numb. Maybe I’m too deep in this world to process it the way I should. All I know is that this life we’re in..  it takes and takes until there’s nothing left.
The priest continues speaking, his words fading into the background of my thoughts. I glance back at the photo of Danny. He deserved better than this. We all do.
But deep down, I know that saying it won’t change a damn thing.
Nate slowly stands, as he makes his way to the front of the altar, his hands trembling as he grips the edges of the lectern. His face is pale, his eyes hollowed out by nights of crying and the sheer weight of his loss. He swallows hard, trying to find his voice amidst the deafening silence of the church.
“Danny..” he begins, his voice cracking. He clears his throat and tries again.
“Danny wasn’t just my cousin. He was my brother. My best friend. My partner in crime – some would say literally and figuratively” Nate says with a faint, bitter laugh, but his expression crumbles. “He was the person I could turn to for anything, no matter how stupid or serious it was. He always had my back.”
Nate pauses, his hands gripping the edge of the podium tighter.
“I don’t even know where to start because it still doesn’t feel real that he’s gone. Danny had this way of making life brighter, you know? He was funny as hell. That kind of funny where you’d laugh so hard you couldn’t breathe, and you didn’t even care. He had this stupid grin he’d flash whenever he knew he was about to get us into trouble, and, God, I’d give anything to see that grin one more time.”
His voice breaks, and he wipes his eyes quickly before continuing.
“Danny had this big heart, even if he didn’t show it all the time. He loved fiercely, his family, his friends, all of us. If you were in his corner, he’d do anything for you. He never hesitated. Never thought twice. That’s just who he was.”
Nate takes a shaky breath, his chest rising and falling as he fights to keep his composure.
“But life.. it doesn’t care how good of a person you are. It doesn’t care how much you’re loved, how much you’re needed. It just takes. And it took Danny from us.” His voice grows harder, sharper, filled with a pain that cuts deep.
“We all lost something when we lost Danny. I lost my brother. His mom and dad lost their son. And the world.. the world lost one of the good ones. One of the ones who could’ve been so much more if he’d just had the chance.”
Nate looks down at the coffin for a long moment, his eyes glistening with fresh tears. When he speaks again, his voice is softer, almost a whisper.
“Danny.. I love you, man. I hope you know that. I hope you knew that. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more. But I promise.. I promise I’ll carry you with me. Every day. In everything I do. You’ll always be a part of me.”
Nate swallows hard and looks back out at the crowd, his gaze steady despite the tears streaming down his face.
“Thank you all for being here today. Thank you for showing Danny the love he deserves. He may be gone, but he’ll never be forgotten. Not by me. Not by any of us.”
With that, Nate steps down, his shoulders slumping as the weight of his grief settles on him once more. The silence in the church is deafening, save for the quiet sobs scattered among the crowd.
The heavy oak doors swing open with a deafening bang, the sound reverberating through the sombre silence of the church. A collective gasp rises from the mourners, followed by sharp screams of panic. My head snaps toward the commotion, and my pulse spikes.
"What the fuck?" I mutter under my breath, leaning forward in my seat to get a better look.
Before I can make out what’s happening, someone leaps up from the crowd and bolts toward the door. The figure slams into whoever burst in, taking them to the ground with a force that shakes the air. A scuffle breaks out, and almost immediately, several more people rush forward, a mix of chaos and determination in their movements. Until the doors close after them, letting everything take itself outside.
The whispers start immediately, frantic and fearful, the air now thick with confusion. I glance over at Nate, and my stomach tightens. His eyes are glued to the scene, his jaw set so tight it looks like it might snap. His whole body is coiled, vibrating with tension, and I know exactly what’s running through his head.
He’s going to go.
“Nate” I hiss, standing up and gripping his arm just as he starts to move. “Don’t. Not now. This is about Danny. Let it go, man. We’ll figure out what’s happening later, but right now, you stay here.”
For a moment, he doesn’t even look at me. His chest is heaving, his nostrils flaring, and for a second, I think he’s going to shake me off and storm out anyway. But then, slowly, he exhales. His shoulders drop, just slightly, and he gives me a small nod before sinking back into the benches.
"Not now" I repeat softly, my grip loosening.
I sit back down, but my eyes keep darting toward the doors. The priest clears his throat from the altar, trying to regain control of the room.
“Let us continue” he says, his voice steady, though there’s an unmistakable edge of unease.
The service picks back up, but the mood is undeniably fractured. My focus keeps slipping, my mind racing with questions. Who the hell was that? What just happened? And, more importantly, what does it mean?
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, the service comes to an end. Nate stands, his movements stiff and mechanical, and makes his way toward the coffin. Along with the other pallbearers, he takes hold of the handles, his face a mask of grief and resolve.
The procession to the graveyard is slow and solemn, the sound of footsteps on the gravel path punctuated only by the quiet sobs of mourners. The sky is a dull grey, the kind of overcast that seems to swallow sound, and the chill in the air cuts through even the thickest of coats.
At the burial site, the priest begins the final prayers. I stand a few feet back, watching as Nate grips the edge of the coffin tightly, his knuckles white. The pain in his face is unbearable to look at.
But then, I catch the murmurs again, this time closer.
“...heard he’s in H Block… an attempted hit.” someone whispers behind me, the words slicing through the stillness.
My stomach drops.
A hit? At a funeral?
My legs feel weak, and I grip the back of a nearby chair to steady myself. My mind races as the pieces start falling into place. Danny’s death wasn’t just a tragedy – it was a message. And now, someone thought a funeral was the perfect place to send another one.
The thought makes me sick.
My eyes dart back to Nate, who’s still standing by the grave, his shoulders rigid as the coffin is lowered into the ground. Does he know? Was it meant for him?
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Danny was family to Nate. If this was some kind of retaliation, they could be coming for him next.
I want to grab him, to pull him aside and tell him everything, to get him the hell out of here before something else happens. But I can’t. Not here. Not now.
This is Danny’s moment.
Nate deserves to say goodbye without the shadow of another threat looming over him. I’ll tell him later. When we’re away from all of this. When it’s safe. No doubt everyone in the cartel is on high alert if this is true.
As the priest closes the burial with a final prayer, I glance over my shoulder, scanning the crowd. The faces are a mix of grief, anger, and something darker. A chill runs down my spine.
This isn’t over. Not by a long shot.
a/n: AY YAI YAI
taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo @bernardsbunny @spaghetti835928383 @marrykisskilled @sturnsxplr-25 @bxtchboy69 @vickytaa @anikaistg @matts-girlfriend @lvrsturniolo @sophand4n4 @ilovepurpledragons @mattsside
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spaciebabie · 28 days ago
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 2 years ago
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i think it would be a lot easier to examine the morality and effectiveness of setrákus' cause (spoiler alert: It's Bad), and the irl worldviews/rhetoric it's critiquing, if the books came out and acknowledged that the entity:
a) is working from the exact same fundamental principles, just glowier and prettier and has Nicer Neighborhoods about it, and ultimately gets away with it, and
b) in its own right is just plain fucking evil
#lorien legacies#setrákus ra#LL entity#there is a MAJOR running theme in this series of poisonous 'help' being offered by people who position themselves as Selflessly Benevolent#and wanting nothing more than to pile you with generous gifts out of the goodness of their hearts#too-good-to-be-true offers when you need them most#they just need one little thing from you. they just need you to do the work of spreading their Help for them.#whether through direct violent subjugation (hi loric history!); or cutting off their options so they get more and more desperate#until they have no option but to give in. until they have no choice but to suffer and die or Choose Peace#or through just y'know terraforming the entire fcking planet and changing the biology of its sapient inhabitants to make them Better#without asking a single person on it first let alone any of the humans#it shows up with setrákus; it shows up with what five goes through; it shows up with mogpro; and it shows up with the entity#but the entity and the loric acting in its name are The Actually Benevolent Ones This Time You Guys#and they don't even show ANY harmful effects from past instances of garde pulling ancient-aliens shit to ~help advance human cultures~#the moral of the story should have followed through on 'power does not make you a god'#and taken the next step to 'if any objectively sapient being with the agency to tangibly affect the world; in a way you cannot opt out of'#'tries to position themself as a god because they are powerful; or should be powerful'#'tie on a bib and eat them'#i have a lot of words in me about this and it really sank in when i realized the way sandor talks about life on lorien under the entity#and the culture around it sound E E R I L Y like how five talks about ethan and the mogs when he's being groomed and indoctrinated#lorien was some warren of the shining snares shit back in the day and it's both fascinating and absolutely chilling#your neighborhood isn't less racist because it has breweries and brick pizza ovens etc etc#ANYWAY#LL tag#LL crit tag#the crit files
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scarletcomet · 1 year ago
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ngl besties but i am not doing so great right now. anyone else not able to function because of constant thoughts of hurting yourself and crushing depression?
#im good dont worry#i don't even know how to feel better#all i do is try to keep myself distracted 100% of the time but that means I can't do things that i need to do#im in a therapy program 25 hours a week#but i don't know what to share during process group because there was no trigger for all of this. i just feel so shitty for no reason#i did a lot of cbt and dbt when i was younger so the skills aren't very useful to me even if i wanted to use them#when i talk to the therapist one on one i just tell her about how i want to kill myself and stuff#i don't even really want to get better because that means that i won't kill myself and have to be alive#but i know that i can't kill myself so i need to get better. i don't want to though.#i feel like no one can help me including myself even if i tried really hard because i just can't stop these thoughts#i can't go on like this. when you feel like this and don't feel safe then you're supposed to go to the emergency room#and they will probably send you to the psych ward. but i was just there and they barely helped me.#i know that i have a bright future ahead of me and i will get my degree next year from a good university in an employable field#i know i have such a good life and a bright future but i don't want it#i feel like a horrible person and so ungrateful for saying that#anyways i guess i just need to keep trying to get through each day even though i don't want to and it's so fucking hard#my suicidal thoughts are actually getting a little better but they are still almost constant and overwhelming#and sometimes i can't help but make suicide plans which i know if concerning but i haven't actually taken any steps towards carrying out#those plans#i just wish that that i could be dead. it would solve all my problems. but my family and ffriends would be sad.#if i can't kill myself and i always feel so bad how do i keep getting through each day?#i don't know how much longer i can live like this. ive already lived longer than i thought i would before i was hospitalized#but if i can't die and i can't feel better then what do i do? i can't function like this or do the things i need to do#and each day it gets harder and harder#i think i need to share some of this shit during process group tomorrow lol#i guess just about feeling stuck and like i'll never feel better and not being sure if i want to get better?
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noxtivagus · 2 years ago
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woah i. wrote a lot.
#to me friend ^^ yk the. that one. i ended up writing several paragraphs . I'M RLLY GLAD W MYSELF WAHHH 😭😭#there's sm i don't know yet though but i managed to. say at least a lot of what i've been meaning to say for a long time#i think i managed it maturely !!!! i reached out i'm so happy.#i want the best for my friend. n. yeah there's so much communication lacking but for now i think she needs space for herself#hopefully. sometime when all four of us r free we can. be direct w each other? yeah.#i'm. actually. mostly proud of how i'm handling this. hdfkajsdkfl wish i cld do so much more but..#yeah. this isn't enough. but i've taken a step at least. know i cld still do better but.#there's. rlly a lot i want to say. but. i think when we're all not quite as busy i'll try to yk. set a time where we can all talk#irl hopefully. hdjafsldf i rlly hope my words reached out to her tho :c#wish i cld still do more but i have my limits too n though i rlly try my best to be kind bcs i really mean it unconditionally#i have my boundaries.#i can't emphasize enough just how important it is to be able to do things for your own self so you can apply it to the rest of the world.#so.. i'll. say it outright here. i can't handle this on my own. all four of us have to put effort in it.#so. this seems a bit clearer at least. thankfully. aghhh i wrote a lot but i want to comfort her more directly too#i want to do. so much for each person in life i think i need to set more boundaries for myself or i'll get overwhelmed#n then it's not like every friendship has to have everything yk? but.#hdjaflsdfs no bcs for this. specifically rn. i care a lot for her she's one of my best friends after all n. for nearly 7 years#i know at least one of the things i rlly need in those sort of close friendships is. yk we can open up to each other n be honest#being honest at least. when it comes to venting i know i can just do that more on social media or. online friends#like when i say online friends btw 😭 i basically consider them irl friends n i value them very very much but#for the sake of. yk. we don't know each other irl irl so just difference in label. not the value n meaning it has for me.#so. yeah w ^^ we don't rlly share similar beliefs n views which is honestly pretty draining for me#so at the very least. hopefully sometime this/next month we can at least be direct abt that? to communicate so we can understand#i can understand ppl well enough like. uh. i'm good at piecing things tgther but there's so much gaps without direct communication#i can't guess all the time. but yk one thing abt myself that i'm. at least happy w is that. yk. i. can open up when needed#okay like it's hard when i have to do it directly to another person for my own sake but in this context w my friend. yes i can. 👍#that said though oh dear other than this. friend stuff rn there's also more i'm worried abt bcs. school. assignments. yeah#which i'll be able to do but i'm still a bit. stressed. n then for prom 10 per table but we're only 9 n we're all stags 😭😭#wanted at least to have my ^^ friend w me bcs. despite these stuff yk we're still friends :c but she's going w a partner yeah#n then there's more personal stuff too.. there's. a lot. too much to write. but i'll manage.
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the-bluestreak-cat · 6 days ago
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I think it’s the seasonal darkness but this dental stuff feels like the last straw
#went to the dentist for the first time in over two years. not great#my home care has always been spotty but these last few months I’ve been really trying#and at first I was really happy and the new hygienist seemed not completely dismayed#minor gingivitis in back (I used to be at risk for periodontal disease) and like no tartar. gums still bleedy and inflamed but tbh?#a huge win! a great win! I’ve had cleanings that were just cleaning and disappointment so the first was great#dark shadow under one of my fillings. that sucks but it’s been two years so I probably need a new one#doc comes in and. unfortunately. immediately got to work#so when she said I needed a crown and three fillings on my front teeth it was kinda hard not be upset with the new stranger?#idk man. it’s hard to be pleased about the little step forward when there’s over 1k in procedures looming over me#and logically I know it’s not a step backwards. it’s literally consequences from the thing I’ve spent the last month improving#specifically bc it was gonna have consequences like this#and frankly! it’s not that bad! two years ago I had multiple caries that the dentist warned me could get bad and they didn’t!#but I never thought I’d have front teeth fillings. and a crown makes me feel bad bc I wasn’t expecting it#really fighting a losing battle against the feeling that dental care doesn’t matter anymore bc of these#which is not true. and is silly. bc only with this care and more can I keep my mouth from having this happen again so soon#it’s just really bumming me out#I was really proud and now I feel really ashamed bc the habits were bad and my fixing it now doesn’t really matter#bc it was bad then and affected me bc I didn’t fix it then. and I’m frustrated#edit: I took a fifteen minute break and fixed this btw#I’m old enough to afford doing this mentally and financially. the me who made these mistakes originally thought she’d be dead at 17#and now I’m carrying it bc she couldn’t. I’ve never been good at regretting or despairing at my past haha#I’ll do my best (and sometimes it won’t be perfect) bc I’ve taken better care in these last two month than in the two years preceding#why wouldn’t i be proud. of course it matters. I’ll fix this to fix her mistakes and make it easier for the one after me#this self love shit is easy ajskdlf
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musical-chick-13 · 1 year ago
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You know...normally the "guy is sad and murders people over it because how dare other people be happy" archetype is very annoying, but I think they made it work this time.
#for one thing it's not like. actually just about him hating women.#and it's also more along the lines of 'everything was taken from me and it keeps happening even when I don't do anything so why do#other people get to be okay how is that fair it's time to even the playing field because I don't care about being a good person I just want#to feel better' and then actually like. owning up to the fact that he's not a good person. he's not trying to claim he's justified because#he doesn't CARE whether he is or not#which is why rachel is the 'sinner' in this equation because zack fully understands the kind of person he is and admits it#like I think this is the key. I think I need villainous characters to admit to themselves that they're bad people. either that or you have#to do an altena from noir where hardcore at every single step of the way you GENUINELY believe that what you're doing is ultimately#the right thing. which...that is EXTREMELY hard to pull off in character writing altena is literally the only example I can think of#that works (and even then. altena...not that she thinks she's a bad person exactly. but she still recognizes that she can't be an Ultimate#Moral Authority. she'll try to change things how she believes they should be but she knows SHE can't be in charge of this new system.#she's not impartial enough. someone else has to be the judge of people's sins and carry out justice.)#like I think to me. the most interesting aspect of villains is that they are allowed to be completely unapologetic in a way heroes often#aren't. they can be selfish in a way heroes often aren't. and they can explicitly feel the uglier emotions that heroes are often not allowe#to display. so when you have a villain who is trying to play the 'pity me because I'm sad I'm not actually a bad person I promise' card#...it usually falls incredibly flat#lmao. me watching a completely unrelated anime and STILL making it about noir. very on-brand for me.#mc13 watches anime#(there's also the fact that I think zack has come to associate happiness with cruelty. because the only times he's seen the people around#him exhibit joy was when they were mistreating other people-usually him. like there are layers. which was a pleasant surprise I#really thought they were going to go down the route of 'feel bad for this man because he just hates women so much it hurts')
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s0dium · 4 months ago
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I fucking hate him
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A/n: One of the dialogues is lightly taken from "God of Ruin" by Rina Kentaken (plz check it out) Enjoy!!
Word count: 3.5k
Synopsis: You detest Yuji's uncle, Sukuna. His demeanor is rude and abrasive, and he is undoubtedly a sadist. You don't even try to hide your disdain, but the more you try to distance yourself from him, the stronger his opposition grows. Each attempt to push him away only seems to draw him in closer, closer, ever so close.
"You're fucking insufferable," you spat, your eyes narrowing with hatred. "You're pretentious," Sukuna shot back, a smug grin tugging at the corner of his mouth." No, you're a narcissist," you hiss" Yeah, but I turn you on," he purrs
Warning: Hate sex, rough sex, biting, fingering, edging, cowgirl, size kink, breeding, unprotected sex, slight voyeurism, breeding
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You remember the day you met Sukuna for the first time like it was yesterday.
It was during the somber occasion of Wasuke Itadori's funeral—Yuji's beloved grandfather. The day was draped in a heavy sorrow; after the ceremony and the lowering of the casket, you followed the Itadori family back to their home. Being practically family yourself, and living just next door, it felt natural to join them and if not grieve, support the grieving family alongside them. While everyone gathered in the garden, sharing hushed memories and quiet support, you slipped inside the house to charge your phone.
As you stepped into the room, the air felt suddenly charged, like the prelude to a storm. There in the living room, was a man, a large man, lounging on one of the sofas dressed in a black suit and tie. The first thing you notice is his striking pink hair contrasting sharply with the dark, intricate tattoos that crawl up his neck and frame his face. His eyes, sharp and unyielding, fix on you the moment you enter, and his smirk is like a crack in a mask of indifference.
"You must be the famous dear friend of the family, Y/n right?" he drawls, his voice as smooth as silk and just as dangerous. "Heard a lot about you. All good things, I promise." His voice drips with sarcasm making you thickly gulp.
You hesitate by the doorway, your initial smile freezing on your lips. This was the Sukuna Ryomen? The man you'd heard only in hushed conversations between Jin and Choso, the man Yuji calls his uncle? You try to muster your composure, crossing the room to stand at a respectable distance.
"I wish I could say the same," you reply, aiming for polite but firm. Your voice wavers just slightly.
Sukuna chuckles, a sound that rumbles deep in his chest. "Oh, come now. No need for such defenses. I'm not the monster they painted in their tales. Or perhaps I am, and that's what intrigues you? What do you think so far" he bends forward. "Am I intriguing?"
You bristle at his words, the arrogance dripping from each syllable like poison. "I-I dont know about that." You curse yourself at the way your voice comes out as a stutter. "I'm here out of respect for your family."
"Respect," he repeats, tasting the word as if it's something exotic. "Funny, I never put much stock in that. The old man sure tried to teach me, shame he is gone. But perhaps you'll teach me its value?"
What the hell does he mean by that?
He stands suddenly, closing the distance between you with a few measured steps. You can’t help but step back, your back hitting the wall. His presence is overwhelming, suffocating.
"Why so tense?" Sukuna teases, leaning close, his breath ghosting over your cheek. "I'm just trying to get to know you better. After all, anyone who loves my family must have some redeeming qualities, hidden though they may be. Although," he tilts his head, as if analyzing you. "I wouldn't be surprised if they just kept you around cause you're a pretty thing to look at."
You feel a flush of anger and embarrassment heating your cheeks. "I think you've gotten to know enough for one day," you snap, ducking under his arm and striding toward the door. His laughter follows you, low and mocking.
"Oh, don't be like that!" he calls out. "We're just getting started!"
It only took a minute. One minute for you to decide that you hated Sukuna with a fucking passion.
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Unfortunately, the fact that Sukuna had just gotten out of jail, did nothing to hamper your hatred. It seemed like ever since he got out, he was not only determined to stick to the family, but to you, like glue.
The Friday night dinners with the Itadori family, once cherished and loved, had practically turned into a battleground. What used to be a warm gathering was now filled with endless teasing and arrogant attempts at flirting. You were even hesitant to stay over now, as you were never to sure when you’d turn a corner and there Sukuna would be with some sleazy remark about your pajamas.
You tried talking to the Itadori family about it, tried complaining to Jin and raise your concerns. And as receptive and understanding as they were, you knew that for them, blood was thicker than anything, and in some part, you knew that applied to you too.
Still, you persisted, even now as you sat at another Friday dinner you were determined to just enjoy yourself with the family you loved so much.
Key word, tried.
"Well, Jin, I must say, this food is... quaint.” He says through a chuckle and you have to bite the inside of your cheek from throwing a fork at him right there and then. “Did you burn it on purpose, or was that just a happy accident?"
"Dude," You breathe a sigh of relief when Choso speaks up, his voice calm but firm. "Can you go one day without being a jerk?" His eyes are fixed on Sukuna, echoing the frustration you both share about his behavior. This solidarity is one of the reasons why you feel closest to Choso in the family. His understanding and shared grievances with the insufferable man were one of the reasons why you two were best friends.
"Please, I bet this food beats anything you had in prison." You whisper under your breath, but audibly enough that others catch it when you hear Choso breathe through his nose in a laugh-like snort.
Sukuna sets down his silverware and leans forward with a grin, his eyebrows raised in amusement as he gazes across the table at you. "Oh, someone's got a sharp tongue," he remarks. "Careful, angel, you might cut yourself."
You roll your eyes and sharply cross your arms. "Funny, coming from someone who probably had to beg for scraps behind bars. Do you even know what real food tastes like?"
You don’t miss the way Yuji chokes on his pasta, stifling back laughter making you smile.
Sukuna's lips curve into a sly smirk as he locks eyes with you. "Oh trust me, I've tasted a lot of things. But I guess you wouldn't understand, being so... sheltered."
Unfazed, you shoot back with a dismissive wave of your hand, "Sheltered? Please. At least I don’t need to rely on prison slop to remind me of home."
This time, Sukuna's response is a silent, piercing stare that makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat. Even though you were wearing a sweater and shorts, his gaze made you feel like you were naked.
From the corner, Jin clears his throat, chuckling nervously. "Um, maybe we should all just calm down a bit—"
You cut him off, your voice firm as you defend the meal laid out before you. “No way, not when he disrespects your food, which is great, may I add.”
"Oh, I love it when you get all fired up." Sukuna's eyes glint with mischief as he watches your rising frustration. "It's adorable."
Feeling the heat rush to your cheeks, you stand up abruptly, pushing your chair back with a scrape. "Excuse me, I think I'm full," you declare crisply, gathering your dishes with a clatter and storming off to the kitchen to dump them in the sink. Without a backward glance, you stride toward the living room, your footsteps echoing your irritation.
"Come on, why do you always gotta be such an ass, Uncle?" Yuji mumbles, shooting a glare at Sukuna who only responds with a shrug.
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As you sank into the couch cushions, you let out a deep sigh of relief, your body sinking into the familiar comfort of your favorite spot. You turned on the TV, dazedly watching whatever was on, trying to distract yourself from the day's tensions. Of course, thoughts of Sukuna kept creeping into your mind. What was his problem with you? Did the man get dropped on the head as a baby? How and the hell were he and Jin brothers?? Surely he was the result of some fucked up science experiment.
Engulfed in your thoughts, the passage of time slipped unnoticed until a shift in the couch's cushion snapped you back to reality. You turned, and -
Oh what the fuck.
Sukuna settled next to you, leaning on the armrest of the other side of the couch, a tattooed hand settled on his thigh, He had changed into a white tank top and sweatpants, and you feel your heart jump when your eyes unconsciously travel to between his leg where a slight budge pressed against the fabric. Shit. The tips of your ears turned red and you bit the inside of your cheek. That's another thing you loathed about Sukuna; how the scent of his old spice shampoo made you dizzy, how the way he towered over you made your breathing stop, how despite how fucking insufferable he was, he was so so so attractive.
"What the hell are you doing here?" you choked out, your tone edged with disbelief and irritation.
Sukuna raised an eyebrow, unfazed. "What does it look like? Watching TV," he replied coolly, his eyes briefly scanning the screen before settling back on you. "Everyone's gone to sleep, you know."
"No, what are you doing sitting next to me?" you hissed, the proximity suddenly feeling far too close despite the physical distance. Your eyes narrowed, locking onto his vermillion eyes.
"Why you afraid I'll bite?" He says, gnashing his teeth together in a teasing display before moving closer to you. "Don't worry, I only bite when I'm asked."
"S-stop talking to me like that," you say, trying to shuffle back, but find yourself already trapped against the armrest.
"Like what?" Sukuna's voice is teasing, almost playful.
"Like I'm your toy."
He tilts his head slightly and leans forward, a smirk playing at his lips. "More like my doll."
"More like your grim reaper. I'll slice your throat if you touch me," you retort sharply, the tension between you crackling. You watch the way his eyes rake over you like a porn magazine, making you cross your arms as if to shield yourself.
He laughs, a sound rich with amusement. "You're such a menace. I want to gobble you up."
As he inches closer, the scent of his shampoo fills the air—a fragrance so intoxicating you want to bury your nose in it, yet you resist. "I'll give you indigestion, asshole," you snap, trying to maintain your composure.
"Worth it, muse," he counters smoothly, his eyes locking onto yours.
"Sure you're going to be thinking about that when I punch you in the face?"
"Oh, and make me bleed? Blood?" He licks his lips. "Yum." He feigns shock, leaning even closer. "You just keep ticking all my boxes today. Did you do your research on me?"
"Not even if you were the last man alive," you choke out, his proximity overwhelming, his face just inches from yours now. A slight move, and your noses would brush against each other.
"Last man to everyone else? No. To you? Highly likely." His whisper is a taunt, his breath a warm tease against your skin.
That's it.
As you attempt to rise from the couch, Sukuna's large hand swiftly lands on your thigh, pressing just firmly enough to guide you back down onto the cushion. You react instinctively, trying to swat his hand away, but he's quicker; he catches both of your wrists in his grasp, holding them gently yet with an unyielding firmness.
"What the hell are you doing?" you demand, your voice sharp with alarm and a flare of anger, your eyes locked intensely on his, searching for an explanation in his steady gaze.
"Jesus christ Y/n" Sukuna groans, rolling his eyes, "How long are we going to keep this thing of ours going?"
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Our thing? What thing?”
“The thing where we act like we hate each other but actually want to fuck the brains out of each other.” He chuckles.
Your eyes widen and you feel your face grow deathly hot. You try to step back, and get some space, some room to breathe, but the hand on your wrist keeps you from doing so.
“I-fuck you” The words come out of your mouth more soft and meager than you intended to, and you find yourself locked into his blue gaze.
“Believe me, I've thought about it.” His voice is low, and his face isn't painted with a shit-eating grin like it so usually is, he's serious and stern. You stay silent as you watch him examine your face. He leans in, close enough to kiss you, raises his right hand and runs his finger tips down your face.
"Will you bite my tongue if I kiss you?"
"Maybe"
Sukuna's mouth crashes onto yours, hard, angry, and demanding. He doesn't even give you a chance to resist, not even a breath. His lips are fierce against yours, stealing every breath you try to take. Your hands instinctively move to push him away, but instead, you find yourself gripping his shirt, pulling him closer.
You meet his aggression with equal force, your lips moving furiously against his. His hands cup your face roughly, holding you in place as his tongue demands entry. You respond with a whine, opening up to him, your tongues tangling in a heated dance.
Every kiss is a challenge, every touch a dare. You bite his lower lip, drawing a groan from him that vibrates through you. His hands slide down to your waist, pulling you flush against him. The intensity of the moment leaves you breathless, hot, and angry.
Your fingers thread through his hair, tugging sharply as if to remind him you won't be dominated easily. He retaliates by pressing you harder against the cushions, so you have no choice but to melt into him.
In one swift motion, Sukuna pulls back just enough to yank his shirt over his head, revealing muscles lined with black tattoos beneath. Before you can even take a breath, he’s back, his mouth claiming yours with renewed fervor. His hands move to your shirt, fingers pulling at the fabric of your sweater. You break the kiss for a mere second as he tugs your shirt off, then he dives back in, his lips crashing against yours with a hunger that makes your head spin.
His hands roam over your newly exposed skin, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Your breath hitches as his fingers find the waistband of your pants. He undoes them with a practiced ease, pushing them down and leaving you in just underwear and bra, feeling vulnerable and exposed.
"W-what do you think you're doing?" you stutter, trying to maintain some semblance of control.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" he replies, his voice low and filled with a wicked amusement.
He leans in, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispers, "I'm gonna fuck you." His hands slide over your hips, pulling your pants down completely, and you shiver at the sensation of his touch.
You whine when he places his knee between your legs which pushes against your clothed crotch. You involuntarily buck up your hips to try and gain more friction, making Sukuna chuckle; his shit eating grin widening.
“Needy, arent you?”
Your instinct is to tell him to fuck off, but he is already hooking a finger under your pastel pink panties; pulling the material down to reveal your cunt. You mentally curse yourself at the fact that you're already wet, a fact that will sure to swell Sukuna's ego.
Your hands fly down to hide yourself but he swats them away, giving you a glare before sliding a finger up and down your wet slit; collecting the juices before pushing a digit into your tight hole.
"S-shit." your groan, and the moment you clench around him, a sickening grin spreads across his tattooed face.
"Always knew you where gonna feel great around me."
The first curl of his fingers knocks the wind out of you, as it hits the sweet spot inside of you that you could only dream to reach on your own.
“Hah~ I cant-” You whimper, stomach clenching and legs trembling from the pleasure. You want to say you hate this, tell him to get off of you but you can't, you can't even think straight. You even push your hips out, angling them so his digits reach deeper into that sweet spot that sends tendrils of electricity through your body. But before you can fully bask in the pleasure, before you can taste your orgasm on your tongue, he pulls his fingers out.
"You think I'm gonna let you cum so early? After all the shit you have pulled?" His hand flies to your throat wrapping around it with a force that belies the strength behind it. Your breath hitches, a strange mix of fear and exhilaration coursing through your veins. His touch is firm, and commanding, but there’s an undeniable pleasure in the way his fingers tighten slightly, reminding you of the power he holds.
"Nah no way." Sukuna chuckles "Your just gonna have to suck it up."
You try to speak, but his grip tightens just enough to cut off your words, leaving you gasping. The pressure on your throat is intoxicating, a strange pleasure mingling with the discomfort. You can feel your pulse throbbing under his hand. You are so dazed that you don’t even notice he has pulled out his dick until you feel something big pressing against your entrance, making you look down and your eyes widen as you do so.
You’re about to open your mouth to say something, what, you do not know, but all of a sudden Sukuna pushes his dick into you until his hips are flushed against yours. It feels like you're being split in two, and the way his tip smushes against your cervix makes you unable to find your breath. The unfamiliar feeling has you squirming and clenching around his cock; body desperately trying to push out the foreign intrusion.  
“Shit you gotta loosen up doll, cant fuck you like this.” There were veins popping on his temple as he started to rub tight circles on your clit. Bolts of pleasure shoot up your body, and you desperately try to relax your body.
“Atta girl” He coos, withdrawing his hips before slamming into your.
The first thrust completely knocks the wind out of you. The collision with your gspot has you arching your back of the couch; eyes screwed shut and letting out a loud moan. He's girth spread you so well, so much, and the friction was so delicious, tears blotted your eyesight. Your skin is buzzing, and your entire lower half is shaking from the pleasure. Sukuna's pace is brutal, unforgiving, and he has to grab the arm rest above you with one arm to help his brutal and unforgiving pace into you.
Your mind grows hazy, lost in the sensation of how good he was fucking you, but then, without explanation, a spark of defiance ignites within you. Suddenly, you find the strength to flip him over, his dick not leaving the warmth of your cunt once and so you were effectively laying on top of him, your legs on either side of his body. With your chest flushed against his, and your ass perked up in the air, you begin to fuck yourself on his dick, raising your hips up and down his length as if he was a dildo.
"Oh thats it." Sukuna is not a whining man but here he is, his voice cracking from the feeling and sight of you riding him. "Fuck yourself on me shit shit shit."
You are practically drooling on his chest, your eyes rolling back from how good he felt against your G spot.
You let a whine when you feel yourself start to get tired so Sukuna grabs your hips and starts fucking you on his length.
Fap.Fap.Fap
"Gonna cum in you baby ok?" He murmurs into your ear and you dazedly nod.
Suddenly you feel your stomach dip and your mind go blank. Your mind feels as though it’s been dipped in pure euphoria, thoughts scattering like leaves in the wind, replaced by an overwhelming wave of bliss that drowns out everything else. Your body responds in kind, muscles tensing and releasing in perfect harmony with the pleasure coursing through you. It’s as if every cell is vibrating with delight, your skin tingling with a heightened sensitivity that makes even the slightest touch feel like a divine caress. The heat of the sensation is intoxicating, making your limbs feel weightless as if you’re floating on a cloud of pure, unadulterated joy.
Sukuna is quick to follow, shooting ropes of thick cum that glide down his shaft onto his balls.
"See? We are practically made for each other."
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prickly-paprikash · 7 months ago
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Pushing aside the fact that I am, quite possibly, a Kendrick fan—disregarding my biases, I think Drake needs to stop. Push Ups was a good diss. Surface level, vapid, but it possessed that mean, petty spirit that carries a diss track all the way. Even bringing up accusations that are, realistically speaking, unlikely still works because a diss is supposed to show just how much you hate a person and how cleverly you can bring it.
Taylor Made was weird. I get that it was a strategy. Drop the main diss first and then drop this one to really prod at Kendrick. Using Pac and Snoop AI voices sucks though. Distilling Kendrick as Taylor's underling also doesn't work because Kendrick only collaborated with her once (twice when they remade Bad Blood) and that's it. Meanwhile Drake is out here always looking for new, up and coming artists to pounce on their trends or cling to established artists. Then it got taken down, because of course it would have been. You used 2Pac's voice. Did you really think his estate, his family, wouldn't do anything?
So he bought Pac's ring and used his voice without permission. More and more we see just how much of a vulture Drake is.
And then Euphoria drops.
Your first diss was met with solid reactions. Your second got taken down. Kendrick drops on a random hot Tuesday, and in a matter of hours surpasses your numbers that took weeks to accumulate. Kendrick did that. Euphoria was also harsh, clever, and sounded so good that people kept replaying it over and over again. Once more, Kendrick schools you.
A few insiders then say that Drake will drop that night. Right after. But he then allegedly gets cold feet. A few hours later from when Drake was supposedly ready to drop but backs out, Kendrick drops 6:16 in LA.
In your previous disses, you begged Kendrick to drop something with quintuple entendres. Euphoria did that. But he took it a step further by naming his second diss 6:16 in LA.
June 16: Father's day. Referencing the fact that Drake has been proven to be a deadbeat father.
June 16, 1971: Tupac's Birthday. Kendrick idolizes him. Drake steals from him.
June 16, 2019: First episode of Euphoria drops. A show Drake is listed as a producer on. A show about underage girls entering a life of sex, substance abuse, and more. Things that Drake has been accused of repeatedly in the past.
June 16, 2011: in June 2, 2011, Kendrick posted on his twitter that there will be a concert at Toronto on 6/16. Allegedly this is where Drake and Kendrick first met.
6:16 AM: The time of release for this track.
6:16: Multiple possible Bible verses, given Kendrick's Christian background.
Other claims felt like reaches though, so I'll stick to that.
The final two lines of 6:16 also reference the Michael Jackson, R. Kelly, and their song "You Are Not Alone". Drake, who has always claimed he is Michael Jackson or at the very least his equal/successor, is now tied to him in a way he does not want. Because we know all of the dirt that came out after MJ's death. We all know what R. Kelly was sent to prison for. And we all know what Drake has been accused of multiple times.
Kendrick also alludes to the fact that you have a leak in your circle, Drake.
So Drake drops Family Matters. A scathing 7 minute song that makes fun of the GKMC van. Saying that Kendrick's daughter isn't his. Saying that his wife cheats on him with security. Saying that he beats his wife.
Now, these are enormous accusations levied. But Kendrick has responded before, years ago, that the DV accusations were false. He has also always been open about his faults. Adultery. Sex addiction. Insecurity. God complex. Kendrick, for better or worse, has always laid out nearly every aspect of his younger life on his songs. This also helped by the fact that in both Euphoria and 6:16, Kendrick says that Drake has spent millions on finding dirt on him but came up with nothing. Again, these accusations can still be proven true and if so, Kendrick needs to be held accountable for them.
But if not? Then Drake just adds another to the pile of "He's a liar and a master manipulator."
Drake also posts a Parody on his Insta that gains little to no attention because 30 minutes after dropping Family Matters and supposedly going on his victory lap, Kendrick drops meet the grahams.
Another thing. 6:16's cover was a glove. That meant nothing to us, the audience. meet the grahams makes it make sense by zooming out of the glove and showing off a shirt and drugs that Drake supposedly uses. Drake has not had any receipts with his accusations against Kendrick. Kendrick puts Drake's supposed prescription, his full name, on a bottle of Ozempic. Kendrick, for now, seems to make good on his threat. OvO, Drake's company, is full of leaks. And they're leaking it straight to Kendrick Lamar.
Nearly 24 hours later, Kendrick drops Not Like Us.
Euphoria was a general character dissection and assassination of Drake: Insecure about his identity as a biracial man. Culture Vulture. Blaccent user. Code switcher. Fake abs. Womanizer. Misogynist. Using black features just to feel black enough. A deadbeat dad that knows nothing of raising a child. And even revokes Drake's ability to use the N-Word (I have no stake in that I am Asian so I will keep my brown mouth shut for that).
6:16 in LA was an ominous threat that slowly reveals that Kendrick has insider information on Drake. That he is ready to leak so much more should Drake continue.
meet the grahams is a brutal open letter to Drake, his parents, and even to Adonis, Drake's son. Saying that Kendrick could be a better mentor to Adonis. Saying that Drake abandoned you and that's not your fault. Don't be like your father—whatever anyone says, for better or worse, you are a black man and don't code switch just to make yourself feel better. He says that Drake failed his mother for what he did to women. Saying that Drake's father is the cause of his gambling issues. Drake is a body shamer. Leaving the mother of his children to rot. And of course, the reveal that Drake has a secret daughter, the same way Pusha T revealed Drake has a son. Adonis.
And of course, now. Not Like Us. Where Kendrick goes all in on one topic that he has alluded to in every diss track before. Drake is a groomer. A pedophile.
I am sick. I should not be tuning into this beef. But my fever can go ahead and end me, I need to know how this ends.
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enviedear · 2 months ago
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LOVING ALONE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT
₊ ⊹ JASON TODD
🧸ྀི REQUEST | jason having (what he thinks is) an unrequited crush
CW | lovesick!jason with issues accepting love, just-a-buncha fluff. 1.6k words. 🎧ྀི
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your eyes flicker to your window for the hundredth time in ten minutes. there's an attempt at forcing your gaze back to your book, but your concentration on it has long since shattered. it's impossible to concentrate on anything other than him, perched on your fire escape right outside your window—JASON TODD.
he thinks he’s so subtle, as if you'll never notice when he parks himself on your fire escape like some sort of gargoyle. you smile slightly at the thought, heart pounding a little faster than it should. a condition that makes itself apparent far too much when your mind drifts to him.
he's silently taken on a sort of sworn protector role, separate from his nightly redhood rendezvous. you count yourself lucky to have his presence around your domicile so often. you truly never got over the culture shock that was gotham, but jason helps. even if he decides to go to great lengths to try and hide it.
outside, in the frigid and everpresent putrid gotham air, jason todd sits in complete rumination. he has goosebumps marring his arms beneath his leather jacket, but he pays them no mind. no, he's far too busy listing all the reasons he should just leave, why sitting outside under the guise of guard is utterly stupid, but still, he sits.
he runs a gloved hand through his hair, tugging slightly. he feels pathetic. how can he meet death, the criminally insane, survive things that would kill most—and somehow, he's shocked still with nerves at the very idea of knocking on your window.
in his head he has it all pictured, if it went perfectly. you'd come to the window, a confused look on your face until you spot him. he'd pull some stupid line, something he heard dick use once, and it'd make you laugh. he loves hearing that, more than anything. then he'd crawl in—spend the rest of his night with you, doing anything. and in his head, that's perfect.
but the underbelly of that dream keeps him rooted to your fire escape. to him, there's no way you could ever share his sentiments. you refer to him as a friend and no matter how much he wishes for something else, he can't change reality. can't force himself to make something more out of what you give him.
between the blood on his hands and the rage he can never seem to fully rid himself of, he's come to the aimless conclusion that you deserve someone better. someone more delicate, someone who doesn’t live with one foot in the grave. but every time you laugh or shoot him an easy smile, it gets easier to admit that he’s too far gone.
you deign the separation foolish, but still, you give yourself one more attempt at reading before you put your book to the side. really—you just wish he’d just say something. you’ve thought about saying something yourself, more times than you care to admit, but the timing never feels right. besides, there’s a part of you that wonders if jason even realizes you’ve been waiting out for him.
every time you joke or tease, you can see some struggle behind his eyes. as if he wants to let go and laugh with you, but something—himself—holds him back. your very own sisyphus—his very own boulder to carry up a labyrinthine mountain.
maybe it’s his past and the walls he’s built around himself, but you’re over him expecting you to be afraid of him. you wonder how much more evident you need to be. if anything, you wish he could see himself the way you do—intense, yes, but also loyal and good, even if he doesn’t believe it.
he proves it every night when he stands watch outside your shitty apartment.
with a sigh, you stand up from the couch, moving toward the window. he’s always so close, and yet there’s a distance he keeps in place—you’ve had enough of that.
you slide the window open, leaning out just enough to catch him mid-step as he’s about to leave—flee moreso. “going somewhere?”
he turns on his heels, red helmet in his hands, "figured you'd be asleep."
you hum, eyes narrowing, "already? it's six pm on a saturday."
“just didn’t want to bother you.” he admits, voice low, almost timid. he doesn’t meet your eyes, and it’s frustrating how hard he tries to hide, even from you.
“you’re not bothering me, jason.” you say softly, leaning on the window frame. “you never do.”
jason looks at you then, something uncertain flickering in his gaze. his lips dart out to quell his chapped lips—you hold his stare, hoping he can see what you’re trying to tell him, wordlessly.
that you want him here, that you’ve been wanting him all along.
“i can stop by for a few.” he finally says, adding a shrug to the end of his sentence.
you smile, opening the window fully as invitation. jason crawls in, a rather innocuous task but given his stature, always surprises you.
“i have pizza and brownies. saturday special.” you tell him, a persuasion. you want him to eat.
“sounds good.” he’s in the middle of slipping out of his redhood garb, clad in a skintight athletic tee and his cargos—mask sitting on your coffee table. “i’m gonna change in the bathroom, i’ll be right back.”
before his fingers can grab his duffle you start, “why don’t you shower here? i know you don’t have any of your usual stuff but—”
he cuts you off, “i couldn’t. i’m already eating your food…and using your fire escape as a landing spot.”
“jason, seriously. shower here. i’ll heat up the food and put on some tv. it’s a saturday.” you’re not one to beg, but this is treading the line.
his shoulders sag, but there’s a small smile on his face, “thanks, sweetheart. you’re too nice to me.”
his tone is sarcastic, self-deprecating, and that annoys you slightly. you want him to know that he’s welcome here, wanted. needed.
“i like it when you’re here, you know.” you feel like sparking a match, timid flames sparkling. “i miss you when you’re gone and everything.”
he quirks a brow, "what are you tryin' tell me?"
you feel silly at his question, the air around you seemingly buzzing. jason peers down at you with a raised brow, as if he's genuinely confused by the sentiment. as if he's baffled by the notion he could be someone to miss.
your breath hitches as you debate your next move. you're walking a thin line between saying too much and not enough. you could play it safe, keep your cards close to your chest—or you could be honest. near painfully so.
when you find your voice, it comes out soft, "i'm trying to say that i like it better when you come inside instead of sitting on my fire escape. i don't want to be a landing spot for you, i want... more."
he clears his throat, shifting on his feet, "you don't want that." he seems to take a step back, not physically, but mentally. his face goes still, chest breathing even, mind anywhere but the present.
you groan, annoyance evident, "i do though. you have to see that in some way by now." you step towards him, "sometimes i think you feel the same way."
jason’s gaze flickers toward the floor, and for a moment you wonder if you’ve crossed the line, if he’ll pull away entirely. but then he looks up, eyes darker, severely sincere. “you have no idea what you’re asking for.” he cautions, but his voice is lower, almost a whisper.
you smile softly, finally letting your hand touch his arm, feeling the solid warmth beneath. “maybe i do. maybe i’ve been waiting for you to realize it.”
“don’t say that unless you mean it,” he murmurs, his voice rough.
“i mean it.” you reply, sincere in your admission. “i’m not afraid of you, jason. i’m afraid of what happens if you keep shutting me out.”
he grumbles at that, a half-willed attempt to argue against your point. you stay quiet, urging him to continue where you left off. you watch his face contort through a realm of emotions—confusion, fear, and then, thinly masked and wistful poignancy.
“i’m not shutting you out. if anything, i’m protecting you.” he finally decides, arms crossing over his chest, eyes scanning the wall behind you. nervous.
you shake your head, fingers reaching for his twisted expression, finding home on his pink-tinted cheeks. “i don’t need you protecting me from you. i need you to want me as bad as i want you.”
your words are bold, maybe overconfident, but you mean them to the fullest extent. you’re so beyond exhausted of attempting to disregard or conceal your feelings. even if jason’s not, you think he deserves to know.
jason todd looks you over. his eyes raking you up and down like you’re some high valued product—and he’s unsure wether to take the bid or let it pass by. in the time you’ve known him, even in the thralls of his vigilante persona, he’s studied things. eyes pointedly and silently assessing his situation, no matter how far removed he is from his upbringing—his “father” lingers in his antics.
finally, he chuckles, low and more timid than usual, “you don��t know how badly i want you, sweetheart. but…” he stops himself, and you’re grateful because you would have done it yourself if he had continued on with some rebuttal. “fuck. you’re all i want.”
it comes out like a beg, pleading that rarely works it’s way onto his features. you smile, and pull him closer. his arms uncross, opting to gingerly hold your shoulders. still timid, unsure.
“you should know how much you mean to me. you do such a good job of showing me…keeping watch and never letting me eat alone. it’s sweet, you’re sweet. i want you to know it.” you keep his gaze when you speak, hopefully drilling each sentiment permanently into his consciousness.
he leans into your touch, eyes fluttering shut, “i believe you. swear. i just… this is new. i never thought…” he falters off, equal parts unsure and dumbstruck. “i like you a lot. i didn’t know you felt the same, sweetheart.”
you grin, inching your face closer to his, “well i do. deal with it.” your tone is teasing, playful. pulling him back into the safety of reassurance—what you want him to anticipate from you.
it seems to put jason back in his element, “oh? you have demands? usually that’s my thing.”
you laugh, “could always be our thing. the demanding couple—sounds inspired, don’t you think?”
“something like that…” his smile is soft, “but for now, i think i’m fine with just being yours.” he says it so earnestly, no thought to it. just the truth, and it feels damn good. it envelops you just the same as his arms, wraps you up in utter victory. love hard fought—and it feels so sweet.
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thewispsings · 27 days ago
Text
head over heels | cl16 mv1 op81
charles leclerc, oscar piastri, max verstappen x reader
a ferrari driver, a mclaren driver, and a redbull driver all interested in the same girl…this won’t end well.
notes: i decided to make this a series! now should i make this poly?…
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liked by patriciooward, redbullracing, user1, and 43,917 others!
yourusername: what a better place to have your first day then good ol’ texas! formula one here i come 🤠
view comments below!
user2: omg i totally forgot you are going to start interviewing for f1
user3: DUDE ME TOO
user4: im so excited!! i hope she does challenges like she did with indycar
patriciooward: what a coincidence! i just happen to be in texas too!!
yourusername; you followed me here, stalker 😣
patriciooward: LIES! i am here for a JOB
yourusername: well so am I
patriciooward: YOU ALWAYS COPY ME
user5: indycar, i will never forgive you for separating these too
indycar: come back to us 🥹
user6: YOU FIRED HER???
user7: first you fire her because she asked for a raise AND THEN you get in her comment section talking about ‘come back’ yall are SICK
user8: SHE DIDNT EVEN ASK FOR A RAISE!! she was offered more by f1 and instead of fighting back, indycar just decided to fire her??? like???
user9: companies will always prove that they do not gaf about you
liked by yourusername
user10: wtv, yn onto BIGGER and BETTER things
user11: when are you going to start posting on youtube again? 😣 we miss you :(
yourusername: sooner then you think!!
user12: you fit in with the texans so well
user13: yeehaw! 🤠
user14: congratulations on the new job!! i hope your first day goes well :))
user15: first days always make me so nervous
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liked by user16, and 81,720 others!
kymillman: formula one driver down!
a mere seconds after this photo was taken, charles leclerc took a tumble on the texas pavement, following a tiny interaction with a new worker here on the track 😉 landing face first and awkwardly trying to play it off.
he is okay! just a bruised ego
view comments below!
user17: this is embarrassing, even for charles
user18: when i’m in a who can embarrass themselves more contest, but charles is already there
user19: IN FRONT OF A PRETTY GIRL TOO?? no you’d never see my face again
user20: it was BECAUSE of the pretty girl 😭 she smiled at him and suddenly was on the ground
user21: that’s humiliating
user22: i keep watching the video…why do his legs just like, give out?
user23: THERES A VIDEO?
user24: ig being a f1 driver doesn’t give you game
user25: this means max is going to win come sunday
user26: okay grandpa…how about we get you back to bed?
user27: i need yns reaction to this
user28: i think the worst part is that she didn’t even notice he fell…
user29: pls tell me your joking
user30: no 😭 she just walked away and didn’t spare him a single glance
user31: i needed this today…thank you
user32: i love to see the ferrari fall
user32: no pun intended
user33: the video just gave me the biggest second hand embarrassment
user32: i actually cringed into myself.
user33: it’s him getting up and looking around to see if anyone saw that gets me
user34: i hope this gets brought up multiple times during the weekend
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maxvertappen1: feels good to be back on the top step in the sprint 💪 onwards to qualifying, let's keep pushing @:redbullracing 👊
view comments below!
user36: are you not ashamed? are you not embarrassed?
user37: have you no shame, max?
user38: guys i’m so confused
user39: this weekend has been so crazy
user40: what’s going on?
user46: your cardboard cut out is sleeping on the couch tonight.
user43: GUYS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I FEEL LEFT OUT AND I DO NOT LIKE IT.
user44: max was flirting with an interviewer today.
user43: WHAT
user45: was he flirting? or was he just being nice and yall are making it a big deal 🙄
user44: when the interview was over he stayed in his spot staring at the woman until she gave him attention and then asked her if she was new.
user44: she said yes and asked if it was that obvious. he said, “to me, yes.” AND THEN blushed when the interviewer reminded him that she did in fact have others to interview
user44: AND THEN, told her, “if you need any help around the paddock, let me know.”
user45: okay so maybe he was flirting 🙄
user46; what’s the big deal guys? let max get some with out you guys embarrassing him!
user48: HES embarrassing HIMSELF. does he not have decorum? self respect?
user49: okay but was the interviewer into it??
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f1gossip: as austin comes to an end, i would like to reminisce that these three men, managed to flirt with the same girl (an interviewer, as a matter of fact), in a span of three days. do they know they are flirting with the same girl? are they into that? or is this all just a hilarious incident?
view comments below!
user51: this is the funniest thing to happen all weekend
user52: i see max and charles doing this, but OSCAR??
user53: yns following went up by 20k
user54: I WAS THERE WHEN SHS WAS AT LESS THEN 4k, SHE BETTER NOT FORGET ME!!!
user55: people still don’t even know who she is 😖 they keep calling her ‘the interviewer’
user56: i hope she doesn’t get hate for this…
user57; to be fair oscar could’ve just been being nice?? like taking a photo for someone doesn’t mean you’re into them
user58: i could not survive as an f1 driver
user59: like imagine your just tryna flirt with a girl, and suddenly it’s all over the internet of how embarrassingly you failed (max)
user60: it’s yns first race and this is how it goes??
user61: that interviewer is soo lucky
user62: okay but if you were the interviewer, who would you pick?
user63: max
user64: oscar 100000%
user65: charles, are you guys crazy?
user66: lando
user67: that wasn’t a option?…
user66: i don’t care
user67: has nobody realized that lando liked this 😭?
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entitled-fangirl · 1 month ago
Text
A sigil of mine.
Summary: the reader is taken from Winterfell while Cregan is at the Wall. He's a vengeful man.
Warning: kidnapping, dread, guilt, blood, scars, branding, talks of torture, our boy Cregan embodying Joel Miller when Ellie gets taken in the Last of Us
This one is dark
A/n: based on an ask! Also, fuck the Lannisters
I'll proofread later🫡
Masterlist
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"Lord Stark! An urgent letter has arrived from Winterfell!" A brother of the Wall yelled over the sound of the harsh wind that roared through the icy halls.
Cregan turned his entire body to him, a sudden pain in his stomach. What could be so urgent?
Cregan nearly rips the letter from the man's hand as he nears. The letter is stained with a dark red in places and he feels himself choke a little.
Lord Stark, Winterfell is under attack. By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I tried to protect the Lady as best as I could.  It was an honor to serve under House Stark and see you become a man. Please forgive me. Maester Tinedel
Cregan's hands shook violently as his eyes roamed over the paper another time. Then once more. His jaw set harshly as he looked up to the man that had brought such devastating news. "When did this arrive?" He growled lowly.
"Just this morning. Is it dated by any chance, my Lord?"
Cregan flipped the page and surely enough, the old maester had been wise enough to do so.
The air in his lungs escaped, creating a cloud in the cold air.
"Three weeks now."
The man stared in confusion at Cregan's sudden distress. "Is everything alright?"
Cregan crumpled the paper in his fist. "Ready my horse."
The brother of the Wall shook his head, "My lord, it is the bulk of winter. You can't possibly leave in such conditions. And you are not properly pack-"
"Ready. My. Horse. I leave within the hour."
The Warden of the North stormed away, a heaviness in his step from the sudden weight on his shoulders.
Cregan had always thought the travel to the Wall and back took too long on a good day.
Now, he was a mere bundle of nerves trying to tie what he could to his horse.
It would take too long. Whatever happened had happened and he wasn't there to save them.
To save her. 
He knew the guilt would eat his alive no matter how long it took him to get back. 
Surely another letter would arrive soon if things had turned for the better, but he wouldn't wait for that letter to show. 
The odds of one never arriving were too high.
"Are you certain of this, Lord Stark?"
He turned to the stable master with the hint of unshed tears in his eyes. "I'm not sure of anything. But I must return home."
The stable master nodded in acceptance, "And you're really not going to take men with you?"
Cregan huffed in frustration. "I cannot take men from the Wall. Their war is here. I cannot ask them to fight my own war as well."
"My lord, you're fighting both wars. Surely you can allow for some assistance."
Cregan hoisted himself up onto his horse. "I cannot promise when I'll return. But, should everything be righted, I will write back."
"If I may?"
"Yes?"
The man heaved a long sigh as placed his hands on his hips. "I wouldn't wish this feeling on my worst enemy, my lord. May the gods be with you on your journey and at your arrival."
Cregan bits the inside of his cheek. "Thank you."
With that, Cregan clicks at his horse, and the long journey began.
As expected, the journey was grueling. The cold was killing him from the outside in, but the constant need to stop and warm up was killing him from the inside out.
He couldn't even eat without thinking of the blood that stained the letter.
He couldn't sleep without thinking of the screams of his wife as another man's hands laid on her.
Even in the best case, the horror was too much to bare.
Despite his initial crumpling of the letter, Cregan kept it stashed away in his few belongings, smoothing it out and reading it every night before sleep consumed him. 
Just to crumple it again.
Despite the journey taking a usual two to three weeks when the weather was obedient, Cregan made it back to Winterfell in a week and half.
The consistent shiver to his bones only spurred him faster. 
He had plenty of time to consider his plan, should he truly be in need of one.
And now was the time to use it. 
Winterfell laid still. 
Cregan had expected fire and battle. A sound of swords clashing and men roaring.
Quietness was worse.
He had managed to get through the bulk of people with his hood up and his usual dire wolf cloak long abandoned. 
For in this moment, he was no Stark. 
He was a vengeful man.
He managed to sneak into the walls of the very place he should have been highly welcomed in.
For such a burly man, he was deathly silent. His boots made no sound on the stone floors, and his breath was so low that it may be thought that he didn't breathe at all.
He stood outside of his own chamber that he shared with his wife. He reached up and his hand faltered against the wood of the door. He couldn't dare open it.
"Oh, Lord Stark! Oh, thank the gods!" A female voice shrieked in relief.
Cregan flinched at the sound, turning on his heel to see the woman. His wife's handmaiden. He relaxed a bit.
"Oh. Sorry, milord. I didn't mean to frighten you. It's just I didn't know when you would return. Or if you'd return at all. And I-"
"Where is she?" He quietly interrupted.
The handmaiden stiffened and her face fell. "I… I dunno."
"She's not here?" He dared to ask.
She wrung her hands nervously. "You don't… you don't know?"
He tried to hold back his frustration. "Are they still here?"
She shook her head. "Left not long after the attack. Left just a few of us to pick up the pieces."
"And my wife? What happened to her?"
She let the silence set. 
He sighed in frustration and his hand moved to the chamber door.
"I wouldn't, milord," she warned.
He threw her a glare and dare to step in.
He should have listened.
The room laid in disarray. The furs from the bed were thrown on the floor. The furniture was moved, an obvious conflict had occurred. But that's not what Cregan's eyes moved to.
It was the scraps of clothing that were strewn across the room in various places. Some bloody.
His jaw went slack and he knelt down and picked up a strip of the cloth. Stark blue. 
His thumb rubbed at the fabric. He knew it well. His favorite dress on her. 
"They came in the early morning." The handmaiden spoke from the doorway. "Lady Stark had just gotten dressed for the day. I was… I was braiding her hair at the vanity when…"
"When..?" Cregan questioned. 
"It happened so suddenly. The screams."
He stood. "Who did it?"
"House Lannister."
Cregan took a deep breath. "Is she dead?"
"Milord-"
"-Was she slain by a Lannister?"
"No. Not exactly."
"What does that mean?"
"They took her. She could be dead now, I dunno. But they took her alive."
He felt a bit of relief move down his spine. "When you last saw her, she indeed was drawing breath?"
"Yes."
"Then that's enough for me. And Maester Tinedel?"
She tilted her head back and forth. "He lives. But barely."
He kept the fabric in his hand. "Take me to him."
"My Lord!"
"Please, don't get up on my account." Cregan stood at the elder man's bedside. "You're still healing."
The maester relaxed and leaned back against the headboard. "It takes more than a blade to change my loyalty, dear Cregan."
"You've been with me since the day I was born, old man," he teased. "And still you defend me when I am not there."
"There has been no greater honor."
Cregan pulled a chair to his bedside, sitting down. "Tell me what you remember."
"It's not a pleasant story for you, my lord. But very well." He leaned back in thought. "I was in my chamber. It was morning. I heard sounds from the corridor and I dared to go venture out. I defended as much as I could, but an old man is no match to young men with longswords. They took the lady from her room. As far as I know, they still have her-"
"-Do you know where they are now?"
"I'd assume they moved back to Casterly Rock. I have reason to believe that you have been betrayed by one of your bannermen, my lord. How else would they have gotten through the North so quietly?"
Cregan considered the man's words, running a shaky hand over his growing beard. "Who?"
The maester grunted as he sat up further. "I could hardly guess, my lord.
"Whoever it is, I'll murder him where he stands."
Gathering men together quickly was not a difficult task for Cregan.
Many men had skin in the game of thrones, and equally so, most were loyal unto death for their lord.
While most banner men would have answered a call to war, there wasn't enough time to gather an army while he was there, leaving the job to one of his closest bannerman, the Lord of House Bolton.
His mind laid in constant worry. 
In time, the men made it to Lord Reed, the last of the Northern Lords before being out of the North entirely. 
"'Tis truly a shame of what happened to the castle," Lord Reed said as he ushered Cregan further into Greywater Watch. "Any ideas of who might have done such an act?"
He shook his head, eyeing Lord Glover next to him. "No. No, we haven't. Hence why I don't have an army behind me."
"Well, that's understandable. Whoever did such a crime should be punished by all the gods alike, sneaking such an ambush like that."
Cregan nodded, "Yes, yes, they should. I thank you for housing us on such short notice."
Reed forced a smile. "Of course, Lord Stark." He continued moving down the hall. "The North would never sit by while a Lord's wife was taken from him."
Cregan's foot faltered. He paused completely. His voice was low. "I never said my wife was taken."
Lord Reed froze in pure fear at his mistake.
And he was shoved against the wall with Cregan's wolfish growl in his face. "Where is she?"
Reed gasped and fought against the man, but was no match. "I… I don't know what you mean, my lord… p… please.."
Cregan pulled him away by the throat to hit his head against the stone wall again, repeating himself. "WHERE IS SHE?"
Reed sputtered and groaned at the pain. "I… They didn't tell me… I swear…. I swear that to you."
"Your word means nothing to me." Cregan looked over his shoulder to Glover. "Write back to Winterfell. Tell them Lord Reed is dead."
"…My Lord?" Glover faltered.
"Tell them."
"Aye, my lord."
Reed shook violently in Cregan's grip. "I swear. I swear! I don't know! Please!"
Cregan leaned into the man's face. "You're gonna tell me what you do know. Aren't you?"
"Fucking Lannisters!" Cregan's voice roared through the Watch. "Get Glover. We're leaving now."
"My lord?" One of the men asked.
"Do what I said."
"Aye."
"May house Reed learn from its mistake."
Little did Cregan know yet, Loreon Lannister's brigade had been stopped by the Blackwoods, just shy of Lannister territory. 
The young Lord Benjicot Blackwood had rode out to meet them when word was sent of a brigade sneaking through his land. 
He raged at the sight of a terrified woman clad in a Stark blue dress. He vowed that the Lannisters would not see to their land should they refuse to surrender the woman to him.
Hence the small battle that had commenced.
But that was two weeks ago. 
Cregan looked over the land, the blood still staining the grass. "Think they made it?"
Glover hummed. "Lord Benjicot is a formidable enemy, I've heard. Wouldn't want to anger that boy in the slightest."
"Thank fuck!" A voice yelled over the field.
Lord Benjicot rode his horse out to the group in a fast trot. He spoke when he got closer "Knew you'd be quick but I figured it would be another few weeks."
"Don't underestimate angry northern men," Glover grimaced.
"Or Blackwoods, it seems," Cregan chimed in, looking over the field. "I believe I'm indebted to you in some capacity."
"Don't speak too soon, Lord Stark," Benjicot smiled. "You haven't asked how we faired."
Cregan's brows furrowed. "And how did you fair?"
Benjicot's smile grew. 
"We have her."
Cregan reached a hand out to steady himself on his horse from the sheer relief that swept through his body. "Gods…"
"Fucking bastards should have journeyed by sea if they were smart. Should've known that any ally of the Queen is an ally of mine."
"You have her then? In Raventree Hall?" Glover asked what they were all thinking.
"I do."
Cregan voice recovered. "Take me to her. Please."
"My lady?" One of the Blackwood handmaidens spoke up.
Y/n looked up at the woman. 
The faint hints of scratches and bruises were still on the lady's skin, but she had been given time to heal due to the Blackwoods' bravery. But regardless, the tremor in her hands remained. 
"I've been sent to inform you of a visitor that will soon be arriving."
Her heart leaped from her chest. She found herself moving more to the window and peering out. 
Cregan.
The man and his horse moved as one. It had always impressed her. 
Her sluggish behavior left the second he came into view. 
Not caring for her shoes, her cloak, anything, she ran past the handmaiden quicker than her feet could move. 
Tripping and stumbling along the way, ignoring the pain, she finally made it to the large doors of Raventree and bolted out of them.
Cregan had just pulled his horse to a stop when he caught sight of her.
He couldn't remember actually getting down from his horse he had gotten to her so quickly.
His strong arms held her to him in a vice grip, his hands indecisive of where to stay- her waist, her back, her hair, the constant need to feel her wholly gripped him.
Equally so, her arms wrapped around his neck firmly, as if to make sure he was real. 
"Fuck. Don't ever do this again," he sighed as he placed his chin on the top of her head. 
She sobbed lightly against his chest and her hands gripped his cloak so tightly her knuckles turned white. 
"Are you hurt?" He asked in worry. 
She hiccuped through tears. 
Cregan pulled her away, cupping her cheeks so he could study her. "Speak to me, pretty girl. Where are you hurt?"
She hiccuped again. "I… I'm fine."
"Where did they touch you?"
"Cregan…"
"Where?"
Benjicot had caught up at that point. "I wouldn't say they were delicate with her, Lord Stark. Most of it is faded, but the ones on her arms are rather nasty."
Cregan never looked away from her, keeping her eye contact. He tilted his head down, silently asking to gaze at her arms.
He hesitantly pulled her sleeves up and gawked slightly. 
Green bruises still remained at her wrists, no doubt from dragging her along. He tried to ignore the faint scabs from the scrapes that laid in various spots. 
"They did a number on you, didn't they?"
She looked at him fearfully, beyond nervous for his reaction to all of this. 
Benjicot spoke up again. "You've no idea." He placed a steady hand on the woman's back, ignoring Cregan's protective glare as he did so. "You're safe here. Why don't you show him?"
"Show me what?"
She turned to look over her shoulder at Benjicot, "Must I?"
Cregan was growing frustrated. If there was one thing he hated, it was no knowing things. "Show me."
She hesitantly nodded, and Benjicot stepped up to her, untying her bodice from the back. Once he did so, he spun her around to have her back face Cregan. Then he gently pulled down her sleeve until her right shoulder blade was exposed. 
A Lannister sigil was burned into the skin. Ugly scarring around the marred flesh. 
Her head was hung in shame as she stood there, avoiding eye contact with everyone. 
Cregan's hand came up to brush the skin achingly slow. He couldn't find words. 
Benjicot broke the silence. "Amidst this, there is good news."
"I guarantee there isn't," Cregan growled back quickly.
"I have Loreon Lannister under my care as well."
Cregan's head snapped to him. "What?"
"The man is in my dungeons, Lord Stark."
Cregan's hand moved up to Y/n's hair, brushing it aside to fully view what was exposed of her back. 
But his eyes couldn't move from the brand.
"Inside, you say? Still breathing?"
Benjicot let out an amused chuckle. "I refused to take that privilege from you."
Lord Stark's hand brushed her shoulder again. "I fear I owe the Blackwoods more than I own."
Not long later, Cregan stepped into her room. 
She turned her head towards him.
Cregan was covered in blood.
She stood suddenly. "Are you harmed?"
His brows furrowed, looking down at himself, as if forgetting all he had done. "Oh. None of it is mine."
"You killed him?"
Cregan sighed and shut the door. "We'll not discuss this now."
"Cregan-"
"-No. Don't ask again."
Her face fell a bit. She moved to the window and sat again. 
He watched her. "Forgive me. There's still rage in my heart."
"Still? Is it because of me?"
He faltered. "No. No, of course not." He rubbed his chin. "You did nothing wrong."
"If I had journeyed to the Wall with you that day, would you have been as angry if Winterfell was attacked?"
He paused as considered her question. "You know the answer."
She hummed and looked out of the window.
He followed her gaze. "Forgive me for taking so long."
"I watched out this window."
"I know you did."
"What if Benjicot hadn't have found me?"
He sat down next to her. "He did though."
"But what if he hadn't?"
Cregan dared to reach out and pull her hair aside, tugging her sleeve down to see the brand again. 
She finally turned to look at him with teary eyes. 
"I'd rather not think about those things," Cregan answered softly.
"Will you wash yourself, please?"
He paused, remembering the blood all over him. "Sorry, sweet girl. I didn't realize that would bother you so much. I will, I promise."
She looked back to the window. "Will we go home soon?"
Cregan stood to go to the washbowl across the room. "We will in time."
"What's stopping us, Cregan?"
He didn't have the heart to actually say that it was her. "Be patient, my girl, alright?"
Benjicot walked with Cregan down the corridor. "I apologize that I did not manage to capture Lord Jason. That will haunt me."
Cregan shook his head, "You've done much for the North. We'll not forget this act of kindness."
Benji grinned, "The North remembers."
"Indeed."
"Tell me something, my lord?"
Cregan nodded.
"What did you do in those dungeons?"
Cregan sighed, crossing his arms over his  chest. "I wouldn't want you to think differently of me, old friend."
Benjicot shook his head, "Nothing could do so, Cregan. You've seen me rather bloody. It's only fair."
He paused and considered his words, carefully phrasing himself. "A part of me hopes that his son doesn't find out what I've done to his father. It was almost too much to bare."
"What do you mean?"
Cregan pulled his dagger from his belt, running a hand over the blade. "I'll have to sharpen this later, if you understand what I'm saying."
Benjicot nodded. "I believe I do. But more context might be beneficial."
Cregan leaned forward and spoke lowly. "The dead man wears a sigil of mine in return."
The Blackwood's eyes looked down to the dagger and back to Cregan. "I see."
"If there truly is life after death, my friend, I hope he lives the next with my reminder."
"Surely, he would. I'd say you were merciful in ending him regardless."
Cregan rubbed her thigh absentmindedly as the maester inspected the brand. 
"It's healing well, but as you can imagine, it will leave behind a nasty scar."
Cregan clenched his jaw at the thought of his own wife living with a lion burned onto her. "No risk of a fever?"
He shook his head. "A clean burn like this rarely risks such a thing."
"Well, the north thanks you for your work."
The maester excused himself.
Since finding her again, Cregan had a difficulty understanding what she was going through. She was bottling everything up, he could tell. 
"Sweet girl?" He asked gently, continuing to rub at her leg.
"Is it ugly?" She responded quietly, her eyes fixed on the floor.
Cregan wasn't sure what to say to that. "It looks painful. Is it?"
She hummed, eyes still anchored. "It didn't hurt as much as the laughs."
"They laughed? While they did this to you?"
She nodded. 
Her hand moved up to pull her sleeve back up, but Cregan was quick to stop her, placing his hand over hers. 
She looked up questioningly.
"You're as gorgeous as the day I met you." His other hand moved hair behind her ear. "And as beautiful as the day I married you. As well as when I left for the Wall this winter." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek gently. "You're just changed is all."
"But the-"
"-Yes. Yes, it pains me to see it. But not because of what it is, but because you were hurt and I did not defend you as I should have."
Silence fell over them until she spoke up.
"Tell me I'm yours."
Cregan froze. "What?"
"I need to hear it. To really know."
"Well, you are. You know that."
"Please, Cregan."
Cregan stood from the bed, rounding it until he was behind her. He reached out and brushed the brand again, trying to ignore the shiver that went down her spine. "You're mine."
The words relaxed her, her shoulders moving down.
Cregan placed his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them. "You belong to the Warden of the North." He grinned. "A vile and vicious beast intent on killing anything that nears it. Almost anything."
She smiled lightly, the first one in weeks. "And what is that one thing that the wolf likes?"
"A pretty she-wolf that brings down his defense."
One of his hands moved to the back of her neck and she all but melted, her head leaning back now. 
He continued this for a while, letting the silence sit, but he soon leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the marred skin of her shoulder. 
"You're mine." He kissed her shoulder. "And I don't need a brand to prove so." He kissed behind her ear. "You know who you belong to, don't you?"
"…you, Cregan."
"Hmm?" He feigned. 
"You."
He smirked and nipped at her ear. "And who is that? Tell me."
She turned as much as her injuries could allow. Her voice softened as his eyes gazed into hers. "Cregan Stark. I belong to Cregan Stark."
"And I do to you, pretty girl."
He closed the distance, placing the softest kiss he'd ever managed onto her lips.
When they pulled away from one another, she spoke. "Do we get to return soon?"
He nodded, twirling her hair between his fingers. "Soon. I'm only waiting for Lord Bolton to arrive with the men."
"Th… what?"
He puffed out his chest in pride. "I don't do well with spoiled southerners. Bolton is riding an army to the border of Lannister territory, with Benjicot's permission, of course."
"An army? You can't start a war over me."
"I didn't start anything, my love." He kissed her again. "I only finish it."
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2K notes · View notes
munsonsmixtapes · 2 months ago
Text
Buzzing With Excitement
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Eddie Munson x inexperience!fem!reader
summary: Eddie is more than eager to show you a whole different side of sex after you break up with Steve
cw: MDNI (18+) fingering, use of vibrator, oral (f receiving) Eddie likes to be called daddy
part one part three part four
Ever since that one time in Eddie’s trailer, you hadn’t seen him. You had been afraid to, still feeling like that shy girl you had once been. You had thought you’d gotten through that with Steve, but it seemed like after sleeping with Eddie, you just shrunk back into yourself. 
And you found yourself always so horny for him, needing to fuck him as soon as you got home from work, your vibrator no longer doing the trick. You needed to feel him inside you, cheering you on as you took him well, telling you that you were nothing but a good girl. 
So, when you got desperate, you texted him, reading over your message more times than you could count and felt a pit in your stomach when you saw that he had read it. 
All you had said was “I need you.” So that concerned Eddie, the gears turning in his head as he continued to work on the car in front of him, wondering what you could have possibly meant by that. 
It could have either been a really emergency or maybe you had been wanting him to come over for a part two of what you had gotten up to at his trailer. Since you hadn’t reached out to him, he was beginning to think that maybe that he maybe you hadn’t enjoyed yourself or that he had taken it too far. And now he felt guilty about it, wondering how he could have possibly made it better. 
So, when he had a chance to reply, he told you that he was going to stop by on his way home from work. And when he was sitting in his van on his break, he was surprised to get that photo from you and was very glad that he had been alone. He couldn’t have imagined what would have happened if he had opened it while he was in the break room. 
You were standing in front of your mirror wearing nothing but your underwear, another lingerie set, but this one was bright red and more sheer, leaving practically nothing to the imagination. 
And you had the audacity to follow that up with “Are you sure you can’t leave work early?” Eddie could practically hear your whiny voice and was trying really hard not to think about how badly he wanted you. He had to go back inside any minute and he couldn’t very well go in there bricked up. 
So he immediately closed out the messaging app and tried to distract himself by doing anything he could to stop thinking about that picture. Now he really was considering leaving early. He had never left work because of a hookup so he didn’t know why you were any different. 
And of course, because the universe seemed to hate him, he wasn’t able to get out early and his boss seemed offended that he would even ask such a thing. As if he would have been affected personally by him leaving twenty minutes early. 
So after he was off the clock, he hurried to your apartment building, driving way faster than he should have been as that photo you had sent him had been burned into his brain. 
He swore he had never been more horny in his life and was practically cumming in his pants as he thought about all of the things he was going to do to you. He could practically hear your loud moans in his ears and he was close to flooring it so he could get to you quicker. 
Once he got to your building, you buzzed him in and he practically ran to the elevators, trying his best to hide is very hard cock as he pressed the button that would bring the elevator down repeatedly. He was eager to see you and get the show on the road or he was going to have a very big mess in his pants. 
The elevator finally opened and he stepped inside, pressing the button that would take him to your floor and suddenly, he was nervous. He had slept with more woman that he could count, but there was something different about you. Maybe it was because other women had more experience and he was just looking forward to showing you a whole other side of sex you had never seen before. 
Once the door opened on your floor, Eddie all but sprinted to your door and knocked feverishly, pressing himself against the door so anyone who happened to be in the hallway couldn’t see his hard on. In record speed, the door was ripped open and you were there in the lingerie set you were wearing in the picture you had sent him. You looked even better in person somehow and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on you, to take it all off and let his hands roman over your naked body. 
Without a word, you pulled him inside and pushed him up against the door, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss. His tongue was quick to flick into your mouth and you took it into your mouth, giving a suck. The whole thing caused Eddie to whine and that made you even more wet than you already had been. His hand moved down to your cunt only to find that there was a space where there should have been fabric. 
“Doll, are you..wearing crotchless panties?” 
“Maybe,” you replied, batting your eyelashes, knowing exactly what it did. It seemed that the student was already becoming the master and Eddie had no problem with that. “What are you going to do about it?” 
“What do you want me to do?” You responded by grabbing hold of his hand and pressing his two middle fingers together before guiding them to the open spot in your underwear, shoving them inside you, causing you to moan at the sensation. You grabbed onto Eddie’s arms as his fingers pumped in and out, slowly, then so fast that you could barely keep up. 
“Feels so good,” you moaned. “Been waiting for this all day.”
“Yeah?” He asked. “Well, it was the least I could do since you were so kind as to send that picture.”
“You liked it?” He grabbed your hand and guided it to rest on his cock that was tenting in his pants and you gasped as you realized that you were holding. 
“Does that answer your question, princess? Now hush. Let daddy work, okay?” 
His fingers moved even faster and harder and you felt your legs becoming weak, knowing that you were going to collapse at any second. Eddie quickly removed his fingers then wrapped his other arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. He then took his fingers and brought them to his mouth so slowly, maintaining eye contact with you as he did so. He put them between his lips and began to lick and suck your slick from them, moaning dramatically as he did so, wanting you to know just how good you tasted. 
You watched him mouth agape, hating how he knew exactly what to do to make you want him. To drive you absolutely crazy with how horny you were. 
“Let’s go to your room, hm?” He asked, as his other arm wrapped around your waist and you held onto him, feeling your knees getting even more weak. “Can’t walk already?” He chuckled. “Alright, c’mon.” Eddie grabbed hold of the backs of your thighs before bending down and throwing you over his shoulder, falling in love with the giggles that escaped your lips as he carried you to your bedroom. 
The door burst open and before you knew it, he was throwing you onto the bed and just when he was about to pull a condom out of his pocket, he noticed something at the end of the bed. It was shaped like a microphone, but he knew exactly what it was as he had used that exact model as well as others on women. 
Making eye contact with you, he slowly reached for it before turning it on, the buzzing sound filling the room. You watched him as he slowly inched it towards your cunt, quickly pressing it to your clit just like you had done so many time before, but this time, it was different, there was much more pressure and the buzzing sensation felt more intense. And you would have been lying if you said you didn't like it.
"So good, Eddie," you whined and he moved the vibrator to different spots to see what you liked best and it seemed like you weren't picky, eating up anything he'd give you. And he had a strange feeling as you reacted to the buzzing feeling, moan after moan falling from your lips.
He was feeling jealous. Jealous of a vibrator. He wanted to be the one to make you feel that way. The one to make you moan. He was beginning to regret his decision, but he wasn't going to deny you pleasure. At least, not right then.
As if answering his prayers, you pushed the vibrator away and sat up, grabbing onto his arms, pulling him down to your height. Your lips crashed to his and your hands moved into his hair, giving it a tug and he moaned in response.
"Don't start something you can't finish, doll," he said as he pulled away, but you just smirked devilishly.
"Oh, I intend on finishing. Now are you going to make use of the underwear I wore for you or not?"
"You're acting like a real brat."
"Yeah? You gonna punish me for it?"
"Not right now. Now lie back. Need to taste you." Eddie pushed you back onto the bed and you were more than happy to comply, feeling like you were going to bust after hours of not being stimulated in the way you needed.
You lied flat on the bed and got onto his knees in front of you, spreading your legs slowly before looking down at your sopping wet cunt to see what he was working with. And the crotchless panties were doing it for him. He could see you perfectly and now he didn't have to waste any time by removing the garment from you.
Eddie draped your legs over his shoulders and took no time to dive in, heading straight for your clit, knowing that he definitely needed some love considering that other men you had been with most like couldn't find it. His lips wrapped around it and suckled at it lightly before going at it, licking and sucking on it and he could tell that you were enjoying it by the way your fingers were threading through his hair once again.
"Oh my god," you whined and Eddie had to fight back a smile in reaction to how you were already eating it up. He continued to lick and suck even harder and you moaned loudly in response, your heels digging into his back as you did so, your thighs pressing against his head.
He moved lower to your slit and let his teeth glide across the spot, loving to hear you mewl in response. He took that as an invitation to continue, doing to motion over and over, feeling you tug onto his curls to show him how much he was enjoying it. To diffuse the sting, he swirled his tongue around the spot, pulling away for only a second to be complimentary.
"Yeah, just like that," he encouraged you. "Can you make that sound again for daddy?" He went back in for more, continuing to let his teeth graze against your clit and you made the sound over and over, already feeling spent even though ht had barely even done anything.
"Doing so well, doll," he told you as he hands squeezed your thighs gently. "Taste so good too. Swear you're going to be the death of me. No c'mon moan so more for daddy. Can see you're already close. Think you can get there?"
"Yes," you replied through labored breaths and Eddie shoved his face into your cunt once again.
You stayed like that for hours, Eddie making you come over and over again as he encouraged you the entire time, making you feel nothing but good with his head between your thighs. After you had come down from your last orgasm, Eddie reluctantly pulled away from you and wiped his face off with his shirt before moving to hover over you, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss.
"You gonna be okay if I leave?" He asked, his voice suddenly soft.
"You're leaving?"
"Don't have any pajamas. Hey, don't pout," he kissed your lips again, letting his thumb glide across the spot between your eyebrows, trying to smooth out the furrow between them.
"You could just...sleep in your boxers."
"Just can't get enough of me, can you?"
"Never," you shook your head. "I'll make you breakfast in the morning."
"Alright, you sold me." Eddie was quick to strip down to his underwear and then he quickly climbed into the bed next to you before pulling you to his chest, whispering about how good of a girl you were before the two of you drifted off to sleep.
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