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hungermakesmonsters · 4 days ago

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(It Is) What It Is

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Plot Summary : When Billy Russo realises that there is a certain class of wealthy clients who refuse to contract with Anvil because of his playboy reputation, he decides to alter their perception of him. You’re just a down on your luck PA, just trying to get by so when Billy offers to pay you to pretend to date him, you can’t refuse. But the last thing you expect is for Billy to pull you into his secret world of lust and debauchery.

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut. There will be smutty themes throughout the story. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : 6.2k

A/N : 😭 I'm not ready for it to be over...

Master List

Chapter Twenty-Seven

You slipped your fingers into his hair as you kissed him, loosely gripping the strands so that there was no doubt over what you wanted.

Him.

You wanted him. Wanted to be with him, wanted to hold him.

You’d spent the last few hours trying to ignore the tenderness between your thighs but, once you were in his arms again, it was all that you could think about. He let out a soft groan against your lips and all you wanted to do was press him back against the wall and sink to your knees for him.

But the sounds of the party around you quickly pulled you back to the moment, and you remembered where you were.

Later. Once you’d got him home and you’d finally had your talk, you would get on your knees for him and show him how much he meant to you.

Billy broke the kiss but lingered close, his forehead pressed to yours.

“We don’t have to stay,” he said. “We can go home right now.”

Had he read your mind or was he just thinking what you were thinking?

You smiled and let your fingers slip from his hair and down to his shoulder. Your other arm remained firm around his waist, holding tight.

“We should stay a little while,” you said softly. “Just to see people.”

Honestly, it was the last thing you wanted, but it felt like it had been so long since you’d last done anything social. The last time had been the Hamptons and, well, you’d spent half of the time feeling like crap. And you still felt the adrenaline in your veins from being on stage, from calling Corrine out, and you wanted to get it all out before you went home with him.

“And, apparently, Catherine wants to see me,” you added.

Billy pulled a face but the expression vanished before you had the chance to figure it out.

“Why?” He asked.

“I’m not sure. You know what she’s like,” you said, shrugging.

“Well, Karen and Frank want to see you first.”

His hand took hold of yours and, before you could even think to answer, he was pulling you through the party towards the bar and your friends.

Karen’s face lit up when you saw her, and it put to bed any lingering notion that she might be upset with you and Billy for deceiving her. Even Frank managed a smile.

“You were amazing,” Karen said, handing you a champagne glass.

“Thanks, I thought I was going to have a panic attack up there,” you said, earning a squeeze from Billy’s hand. “I still feel like my heart’s going a mile a minute.”

“You looked good up there,” Frank added.

Billy leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek. “Told you you’d be fine.”

“I think this calls for a toast,” Karen said, handing Billy a glass. “To facing fears with friends.”

You felt your cheeks heat a fraction, not with embarrassment but with a strange sense of fondness. You’d never really had this; friends, people who wanted to support you, people who cared.

You brought up your glasses, clinking them together, then you took a long drink.

“So, what’s the plan for the rest of the night?” Frank asked.

“Dancing, drinking, having fun,” Karen said, shooting you a grin.

“Lots of dancing,” you agreed.

“Better make sure Bill doesn’t stand on your feet in those nice shoes,” Frank said.

“Fuck off, Frankie,” Billy remarked.

You gave his hand a squeeze and shook your head. “He’s actually a really good dancer. He does get a little handsy though...”

“I’ll bet he does,” said Frank.

You weren’t sure how to address the elephant in the room with either Frank or Karen, especially not with Billy at your side. They both knew that it wasn’t supposed to be real but - well, you weren’t even sure that it wasn’t real anymore. After the morning in his bed, finally having sex, and the talk he’d promised you later, it felt like everything had changed.

You talked amongst yourselves and you quickly noticed how strange it was, how easily you could talk to them and fit into their little group now. It felt like you were finally starting to find your place in life, finally finding people you could trust and be vulnerable with, and it was all because of Billy, because he had shown you that you didn’t have to always be alone.

From the corner of your eye, you noticed Catherine and Leah and gave them both a wave, but your attention was quickly pulled back to Billy.

“Dance with me?” He said, giving a tug on your hand that left no room for discussion.

Of course, you let him pull you away to the dancefloor and smiled as his arms slipped around your waist. You placed your hands on his shoulders and let him lead.

“What’s going on?” You asked.

“I just...” he hesitated and a strange expression appeared on his face, “I wanted to have you to myself for a little while.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Without thinking, you pressed your hand to his cheek, wanting to soothe whatever he was struggling with. Was he questioning what had happened between you that morning? Was he regretting it? Did he think you regretted it?

“You can have me to yourself as much as you want whenever you want,” you said, hoping he understood the deeper meaning of your words, hoping that he understood that you loved him.

The last thing you expected was for him to frown, to look at you like he had the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. He took your hand from his cheek and pressed it to his chest, right above his heart, letting you feel the way it was beating. The rattle and thump beneath his ribs was enough to make your own heart stutter.

“Billy...” you said softly, not sure what to say.

There were a million different questions in your mind but you had no idea where to start.

His chest rose as he took a deep breath. Then he forced a smile that did little to settle the worry that was brewing inside of you.

“It’s okay, little dove. We’ll talk about everything tonight,” he said, the arm around your waist pulling you closer. “Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

You managed a nod as he pulled you against him, resting your head on his shoulder and slowly dancing in time with the music. From time to time, you’d catch a flash of lightning through the windows or hear the distant boom of thunder as the rain outside became a storm.

A few songs passed before you lifted your head again. “I need to go to the bathroom. Why don’t you find Karen and Frank and get another drink.”

Billy seemed reluctant to let you go, but he slowly took a step back. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?”

“I think someone might notice,” you said, smiling even as your cheeks warmed at the thought. “Besides, we’ve got all night...”

“Right,” he agreed. “Another glass of champagne?”

You nodded and turned, making your way to the bathroom. It was a challenge not to rush as you walked away from him, not wanting to spend more time than necessary away from him. All the while you found yourself wondering what was going on with him and why he was acting so clingy all of a sudden.

It took less than five minutes before you were heading back towards the bar where you could see Billy drinking with Frank and Karen. His eyes caught yours and he started to smile, but then his expression changed to something more like a grimace. You didn’t realise why until Catherine stepped out in front of you.

“There you are,” she said with a smile, “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”

“Oh, no - sorry, I mean to come say hi, but things have been hectic, and Billy -”

“Yes, I suppose he wants to keep you near after everything,” she said, giving a knowing nod of her head. “I think your illness gave him quite a scare.”

“Yeah. I think I probably should have been more honest with him about a few things,” you said.

“Nevermind, you’ve got the rest of your lives together to figure out all of that,” said Catherine. “I just wanted to congratulate you on the good news.”

Good news?

You tried desperately to figure out what she meant, not wanting to ask in case it made you seem like you were out of the loop. You hadn’t seen Catherine since the hospital when -

“Do you mean what I said at the hospital?” You asked. “When I said Billy was my fiance, because -”

“Oh, no. William explained that to us. I mean the contract.”

“What contract?”

“Our new contract with Anvil to oversee security in our hotels, of course.”

“Oh,” you managed, feeling like the floor was crumbling beneath your feet. “Of course. That contract.”

“Obviously, it would have been nice to celebrate it straight away but you were still bedridden at the time, but now you’re better, I insist on taking you and William out for dinner,” Catherine continued.

Somehow you managed to maintain a believable smile despite the fact that your whole world was falling apart around you.

He’d gotten the contract with VDK, and he hadn’t told you.

You’d still been in bed sick, so it had been well over a week.

Was that why he was acting strange? Did he know it was all going to come out tonight?

Was that why he’d slept with you? Had he seen it as his last chance to fuck you before he ended your arrangement?

Catherine was still talking, but all you could hear was the ringing in your ears as your mind raced from one terrible thought to the next. You kept nodding and she kept smiling, oblivious to your turmoil.

“Well, I’ll let you get back to William. I need to go check in with Faye and make sure everything is running smoothly,” she said.

You nodded but before she walked away, you found yourself speaking, words seemingly coming from nowhere. “You should be proud of her, she’s been working really hard.”

Catherine’s smile widened at that.

And, as she left you alone, your eyes found Billy’s again. You weren’t sure what the look on his face was, but you didn’t want to think about it. You just turned and walked away.

You weren’t sure where you were going but when you found a door leading outside, onto a large balcony area, you didn’t even hesitate before stepping out into the storm. Cold wind and rain assaulted you the second you were outside but you kept going, kept moving until you reached the edge of the balcony.

Your chest ached and you struggled to fight back a sob.

He’d lied to you.

You loved him and he’d lied.

Freezing rain began to soak through your dress but you hardly noticed over the aching in your chest. It felt like you couldn’t breathe, like all the oxygen had been stolen away from you.

“Little dove?” You startled at the sudden sound of his voice behind you, barely registering the concern in his voice. “What are you doing out here? You’re going to get cold.”

The rain on your face concealed your tears as you turned, but there was no hiding your pain from him.

“You got the contract with VDK.” A tremor ran through your voice. “You got the contract last week.”

He didn’t say anything but he did manage a reluctant nod.

“You lied to me.”

“I never lied,” he said.

“You kept it from me.”

“I wanted to tell you, I just -”

“Is that what this morning was really about? You wanted to fuck me before I found out that our arrangement was over?” You demanded, pulling your arms tight across your chest, trying to keep yourself from shaking.

“No, that’s not -” he struggled to find the words, “- I wanted to tell you, but I was scared you’d leave. I was scared that you’d want to end things.”

He took a small step forward but stopped the moment he noticed you angling yourself away from him.

“I just wanted more time to figure it out,” he continued, his voice breaking. “I thought that if I had more time I could show you how I feel and maybe convince you to stay, even if it was only for a little while longer...”

(Just a little while longer? So, not forever. He didn’t want you forever.)

“I can’t do this anymore.” It came out as a gasping sob and you pressed your hand to your mouth to keep more from spilling out.

Billy shattered in front of you, his reaction to your words was so visceral, so obvious, that you almost regretted them.

“Don’t say that. Please, don’t -” he tried, but you didn’t want to hear it.

“It hurts too much when you don’t feel what I do.”

“But I do,” he said, pleading with you to just listen to him. “That’s what I wanted to tell you - it’s what I’ve wanted to tell you for weeks. I know what I want. You. I want you, little dove.”

Weeks?

The night before the Hamptons... he’d tried to tell you that he wanted you and you hadn’t listened.

You shook your head.

“But the arrangement, the contract... how can we -”

“I’ll give it all up,” he said. “I’ll go in there and tell everyone the truth if that’s what you need me to do.”

You’d never heard him speak with such raw conviction before, and you knew he was breaking just as much as you were.

“But it would ruin Anvil’s reputation, it would ruin you,” you said, your hand trying to scrub the rain and tears from your cheeks.

“I don’t care. None of it matters if I don’t get to have you. I - I love you.”

Your heart skipped in your chest and you shook your head. How could Billy Russo love you?

“You can’t ruin your life for me,” you told him, pulling your arms tighter around you, trying in vain to ward off the cold that was eager to settle into your bones.

“You’re my life,” he answered. “You’re everything to me.”

This time when he stepped forward, you didn’t shrink back. You just watched, confused as he dropped to his knees in front of you, fumbling with his jacket pocket. The flickering lights of the balcony made it hard to see, but the moment lightning streaked across the sky, you realised what was in his hand.

A red Cartier ring box.

He opened it to reveal an elegant but understated engagement ring; three small diamonds set on a thin band of white gold.

“I got this at the auction. I - I’ve been carrying it around for weeks, wanting to...” his voice broke and he forced an awkward breath, fighting off tears of his own. “I know I always fuck up and there’s something wrong with me... but, please, don’t ask me to go back to a life without you.”

Your heart raced as the penny finally dropped.

He was proposing to you.

Only, he wasn’t down on one knee asking. He was on both knees, begging you to love him, to choose him. After a lifetime of being left and abandoned, Billy thought that he had to beg for your love.

But, no - he’d never have to beg for that.

It all fell into place; the way Faye had shown you the Cartier collection at the auction, already knowing Billy had bid on a ring; Catherine’s surprise when she’d asked about your auction winnings and you hadn’t mentioned a ring; even Corrine’s shitty comment about a Cartier ring.

He wanted to marry you, and he’d had the ring for weeks.

(You could have had this conversation weeks ago, if you’d only let him speak.)

Your knees buckled and you ended up on the floor in front of him. Your trembling hands framed his face and you stared into his deep, dark eyes, trying to understand what was happening.

“Everything kept going wrong,” he said quietly. “I keep fucking everything up.”

“No. No, you don’t.”

“I never even thought I was capable of love,” he sniffed awkwardly. “I knew I wanted to keep you ever since that morning at Sophie’s store, but I thought the feeling would go away. I thought I’d be able to let you go. But when you got sick, I - I realised how much I love you and I’ve never been more scared.”

Lightning lit the sky again and your tears continued to fall.

“You love me?” You asked, and he nodded.

He was still gripping the ring box so tightly, the unasked question seeming to get louder with every passing second.

“I don’t want to go back to a life without you either,” you managed to say, choking back another sob. “I love you too, Billy. I love you so much.”

When he looked at you like he didn’t believe you, or like he’d somehow misheard you, you closed the distance and pressed your lips to his. You kissed him fiercely, putting every ounce of your love into it, making sure there were no doubts in his mind. His arms pulled around you, and you felt the ring box against your back.

“I love you,” he muttered against your lips. “Please... marry me?”

“Yes.” You didn’t even pause to take a breath.

“Yes?”

You nodded and were quickly pulled back into another fiery kiss that lasted until a boom of thunder sounded overhead and brought you both crashing back down to reality.

“Let’s go home,” he said and, again, you nodded.

Before he got to his feet, he carefully slid the engagement ring onto your finger. It was a perfect fit - you weren’t sure how you’d manage it but, at that moment, you didn’t much care. He helped you to your feet and wrapped a possessive arm around you.

You wiped away your tears as he led you back towards the door. Not that it did much to help your overall appearance. The both of you looked like drowned rats, dripping all over the floor the moment you were back inside.

All it took was one person to notice and, soon enough, almost everyone was looking at you. Your cheeks heated and you pressed closer into Billy’s side, hating the attention.

“Whatever happened?” Catherine’s voice cut through the music and the muttering as she made her way towards you.

Your lips parted, but no words would come - how were you supposed to explain everything that had happened over the last ten minutes?

“She said yes,” Billy spoke up, taking control of the situation. He lifted your left hand so everyone could see the ring. “We’re getting married!”

A surprised cheer went up around the room and, thankfully, for most people it was enough to satisfy their curiosity.

“I know I told you to propose somewhere romantic, but I didn’t quite mean in the middle of a thunder storm,” Catherine said, tutting as she took your hand from Billy to inspect the ring. She gave you a knowing smile. “I told you men like William talk with actions rather than words.”

Before you knew it the rest of the Van Der Koy’s were there to offer their congratulations, and so were Frank and Karen. It was overwhelming, and you were so glad that Billy was able to step up and answer all of their questions.

After everything that had already happened that day, it quickly started to feel like too much, and all you wanted to do was go home with Billy.

Eventually, you managed to find your voice and plucked up the courage to address Faye and Catherine. “Thank you so much for inviting us, we’ve had a lovely time, but I think we’d like to go home and celebrate now.”

No one questioned it or tried to convince you to stay (probably because you were both still dripping on the floor).

You rushed through goodbyes and made promises to see people soon. It felt like it took forever to get outside and, the moment you did, your arms wrapped around Billy's waist. You held him tight, not caring that his jacket and shirt were wet and close as you pressed your face to his chest.

“You okay?” He asked, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, through your wet hair.

“I don’t know,” you murmured. “It doesn’t feel real.”

“It’s real, little dove,” he said without a hint of uncertainty. “My ring is on your finger, that means you’re mine now.”

The calm confidence in his voice had you relaxing, letting Billy take control of everything. Not because it was what he needed, but because you needed it. You didn’t have to worry or overthink when Billy was in control, you just held him tight and let him look after you.

“I’m yours,” you agreed. “And you’re mine.”

“Always, little dove.”

A minute later, you were bundled into the back of his car, and pulled against Billy’s side for warmth. If the driver had any thoughts about you and Billy soaking the backseat, he kept them to himself and quickly got you back to the penthouse.

Neither of you spoke until you were home, but in the elevator, your hand in his, you noticed Billy’s thumb brushing back and forth over the three diamonds set in the ring. You wondered if he needed to be reminded that it was real.

He turned as you stepped into the penthouse, taking your face in his hands. You got lost in his eyes for a few seconds, thinking about the life you were going to have together now that you’d both finally confessed your feelings.

“You’re all wet, little dove,” he said.

“You have that effect on me,” you answered, flashing a shy but playful smile.

“Do I?”

Billy grinned as you nodded, his eyes dropping from yours to take in the soggy, sorry state of you. He must have been considering his options because, a second later, he shook his head and took your hand, pulling you through the penthouse to his bathroom. You half-expected him to run a bath but, instead, he reached into the shower and turned it on.

“Let’s get you warmed up,” he said as he reached behind you and started to unzip your dress. “I don’t want you getting sick again.”

You didn’t say anything, you just turned your attention to undressing him while he relieved you of your clothes. Heat quickly started to spread through your body as he unwrapped you like a present and committed every inch of exposed skin to memory. As soon as you were both naked, he pulled you into the shower and closed the door behind you.

Billy pulled you against him and you rested your head against his chest, the heat of the water quickly banishing the cold from your bones. You let out a contented sigh.

“Are you warm enough?” He asked in that soft voice that always betrayed his concern.

“You don’t have to worry about -”

“I do,” he interrupted. “You’re going to be my wife and I’m going to spend the rest of my life worrying about you.”

“Fine,” you retorted just as quickly. “But it goes both ways. If this is real now, then I get to worry about you too.”

He tensed and your arms tightened around his waist.

“I mean it,” you continued. “I want to be able to take care of you like you deserve, Billy. We’re in this together, and that means we take care of each other.”

“If that’s what you want,” he said, pulling back just a fraction so he could see your face, and he gave you one of those rare smiles that you loved so much.

“It is,” you told him, lifting your head and kissing him softly. “I want everything, Billy. Every single part of you.”

And, you decided, you were going to show him.

You kissed him again, this time lingering against his lips while your hands ran over the bare expanse of his chest, touching him in a way you’d never allowed yourself to before, with love and tenderness. You wanted him to know how much you loved him, and you knew he’d understand this best.

Your lips finally left his and you started to press kisses over each and every scar you could find on his torso, starting with the oldest; the one on his shoulder. His breath caught, but you didn’t stop or hesitate. From his shoulder you moved across his chest and down, dropping to your knees to kiss the faded mark on his abs, then the one at his hip. The whole time, Billy remained frozen, just watching you as you made your silent promises to care for him and love him.

When you stopped, you looked up at him from your place on your knees.

He cupped your cheek, tenderly caressing your skin with his thumb as water continued to cascade over both of you. When you remained on your knees, he realised what you were doing, what you were offering.

His thumb pressed against your lower lip and you saw his cock twitch in the periphery of your vision.

“Do you want to suck my cock, little dove?” He asked.

You nodded.

“Ask nicely.”

Your heart stuttered as he slipped into his dominant persona, and heat started to pool between your thighs.

You felt... free. Free to play his games, free to give yourself over to him completely. And, most importantly, free to love him without fear of rejection.

Billy loved you, and you wanted to give him everything.

Your eyelashes fluttered in what you hoped was a seductive way.

“Please, Mr Russo, can I suck your cock?” You asked in a low, breathy voice, unashamed of betraying your growing arousal.

Something flickered across his face - surprise? No, thrill - at the question. Or, more likely, at you calling him that. He liked it. And you were going to use that to your advantage.

“How could I refuse when you asked so nicely?” He managed to keep his confident tone, even though his eyes betrayed his fraying control. Gripping his cock, he gave a couple of lazy strokes before pressing the tip to your lips. “Open up, little dove.”

Your lips parted and eagerly wrapped around him, tongue slipping over the tip before you started to take him deeper. This time there was no chance of interruptions and you were going to enjoy it. You were going to learn Billy the way that he had learned you.

You wrapped a hand around the base of him and chased every bob of your head with your fingers. That alone was enough to make Billy groan and swear, his fingers tangling in your wet hair. One day you wanted to let him take complete control, you wanted to let him use your mouth however he wanted. But tonight wasn’t the night for that.

Sinking lower, you gagged softly as he hit the back of your throat, and pulled back a fraction. The fingers in your hair loosened instantly, but you settled his worries when you looked up at him through your lashes and sank back down, this time avoiding the discomfort.

“You don’t -” he tried to say but ended up trailing off into a desperate moan as you swallowed the last few inches of him.

His fingers twitched in your hair when you paused, holding yourself in place for a few seconds. Then you pulled back, letting him fall from your lips as you gasped for breath. As you smiled up at him, proud of yourself, your hand continued to stroke him.

“Marry me?” He asked, breathless.

You laughed. “I already said yes.”

“Then marry me twice.”

You rolled your eyes and slipped him between your lips again, this time taking things a little faster, letting his pleasure build.

All you got was a groan of warning before he started to come. Your lips stilled but your hand kept going, making sure to wring every drop of pleasure from him, until you made him so sensitive that he squirmed away from you.

He pulled you to your feet and kissed you deeply, not caring about the taste he’d left in your mouth.

As he pulled you against him and tenderly started to wash your body, you found yourself slowly slipping into the wonderful, hazy static that you always found when he took care of you. He kissed your neck as he slowly and meticulously washed every inch of you, and you let him. You allowed yourself to be completely vulnerable to him, leaning back against his chest as he turned you and ran his soapy hands up your stomach and over your breasts.

It felt like a weight had been lifted from you, like you could finally breathe.

You were his and he loved you.

He was yours and you loved him.

When he was certain you were clean and warm, he turned off the water and lifted you out of the shower. He sat you on the counter and dried you, even going as far as to wrap your hair in a towel, then he put you in his fluffy bathrobe.

He dried himself off and wrapped a towel around his waist before carrying you to bed, putting you down and laying beside you.

Your fingers slipped into his still-damp hair, a fond smile on your lips as you just stared at the beautiful man beside you. But something from earlier prickled in the back of your mind, pulling you out of the carefree static.

“Billy, what you said earlier... about there being something wrong with you...” you let the unasked question hang in the air, but continued when he didn’t try to explain or justify it. “Don’t ever say that to me again. There’s nothing wrong with you, and I don’t want you to ever think that there is, okay?”

He stayed silent.

“Okay?” You repeated with more force than even you expected.

“Okay.”

“Good,” you said. “I love you. That should be all the proof you need that there’s nothing wrong with you.”

He gave a nod but didn’t say anything. The pair of you fell back into a lazy sort of silence, just enjoying each other’s company.

“When did you know?” He asked after a few minutes. “When did you start loving me?”

You considered the question, trying to remember when your feelings had turned from that strange feeling of like to one of love.

“I knew for certain that day on the beach,” you said with a fond smile. “When you carried me into the ocean, I realised that I loved you and - and how much it’d hurt if I ever lost you.”

Billy reached for you, his thumb tenderly brushing your cheek as a couple of tears escaped you.

“But, I think it really started that night you took me for Thai food - the first time you asked me to move in. At the end of the night, when you told me we should practice kissing and -”

He closed the distance between you in an instant, his lips finding yours and kissing you with the same eager intensity that he had that night. You pulled him closer, urging him towards you until the weight of his body was resting over yours. Little moans spilled from your mouth into his, muffled by the press of his tongue on yours.

By the time the kiss broke, you were breathless.

His eyes were teeming with emotion when he looked at you.

“I love kissing you. Even at the start, I’d come up with reasons to kiss you just because I wanted to,” he confessed, his lips brushing against yours with every word. “I almost lost my mind not being able to kiss you when you were submitting to me.”

You let out a soft laugh, then a sigh. “I thought I could stop myself from falling for you if I didn’t let you kiss me like that...”

“You were protecting yourself,” he said and pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose. “You made me work to win you.”

“Hmm, in that case, maybe I should make you work a little harder,” you said playfully.

Without warning you clumsily pulled at the towel around his waist.

“Have you always been this insatiable or have I created a monster?” He asked, smiling and looking happier than you’d ever seen him.

“Why? Are you having second thoughts already?”

He pulled open your robe as you flung his towel across the room.

“Never,” he answered, that familiar, dominant tone sending a bolt of arousal through your body. “You’re mine now, little dove. And I’m never letting you go.”

Your legs parted, letting him settle between your thighs. A moan tore from you the moment he pressed down and started to grind the hard length of his cock against you, immediately rendering you wet and needy beneath him.

“I’m yours,” you agreed. “I’ll always be yours.”

His smile was almost enough to distract from the way he positioned your arms above your head and managed to grip both of your wrists with just one hand, pinning you beneath him. He kissed you again and you eagerly parted your lips for his tongue, already feeling the static buzzing in your head again. Your hips moved against his, desperate for more friction, desperate for more of everything.

But something made him pause. He looked down at you and you understood immediately; he was thinking about last night, about how you’d become overwhelmed while restrained.

“Green light, Mr Russo,” you said, hoping to squash his concerns.

A rumble sounded from the back of his throat and his grip on your wrists tightened.

“If you keep calling me that, it’s going to make working together very difficult,” he said.

“Sorry, Mr Russo,” you said, barely holding back a laugh. “But if I have to live with the memory of you bending me over your desk every time I -”

He silenced you with another kiss.

More needy noises started to escape you when his hand began to move down your body, his fingertips tracing every dip and curve. He paused on your breast for a moment, fingers teasing your nipple into a stiff peak before continuing downwards. When his hands slipped between your bodies, you readied yourself to feel his fingers inside of you again, quickly pushing you towards orgasm.

Instead, he took hold of his cock, and you moaned his name against his lips as he ran the tip through your folds. Clearly your playfulness had destroyed his patience. Good, you were equally impatient to feel him inside of you, to have him completely again.

“You’re so wet,” he groaned against your lips.

You didn’t have the chance to answer. His cock notched inside you and stole your breath. Your back bowed beneath him, your body anchored by his tight grip on your wrists.

Billy took his time, sinking into you slowly just as he had the first time, and this time you knew for certain that it was because he was just as affected as you were. He stilled when he hilted, his free hand gripping your hip to keep you from moving beneath him and making him come too soon.

“You’re perfect,” he whispered.

“So are you,” you answered just as softly. “You feel so good, Billy.”

He waited a few moments before starting to move, drawing back his hips, but keeping you completely immobilised beneath him. You didn’t struggle, didn’t pull against his hold on you to try and take more, you gave yourself over to him completely, trusting him to make it good for you.

And Billy didn’t disappoint. He started with slow, deep thrusts, letting you feel every inch of him, and just that was enough to have you coming and crying out his name. Your body trembled and shuddered as you shattered, and you found yourself sinking deeper and deeper into the haze.

“I love you,” he groaned, his hips picking up speed.

“Say it again,” you pleaded.

And he did, over and over. Punctuating each declaration with a thrust of his hips.

You came again, and there was no telling if it was because of the way he was fucking you or the words falling from his lips.

“I love you,” he said, again and again. “You’re being so good for me.”

It was all you wanted; to be loved by him, to be good for him. Pleasure filled your body and you felt like you might burst beneath him.

When his thrusts became stuttered and awkward, he let go of your hands, letting you slip your fingers into his hair and pull him to your lips again. You kissed him deeply as he came inside you, and you held him tight as you both came down from your highs.

“I love you,” he said, breathless and exhausted.

“I love you too,” you said, already half asleep beneath him, exhausted but happier than you’d ever been. “I can’t wait for tomorrow... and the day after... and every day I get to spend with you...”

A/N : 😭 😭 I can't believe it's finally over (well, okay, I can, I just don't want to). There is going to be an epilogue to tie up a few loose ends and give these two a proper send off, but I hope that you all like this ending as much as I enjoyed writing it. I wanted some last minute drama to finally get them both to confess their feelings and I hope the pay-off was worth it. I'll let you know next week what I'm planning on doing after wrapping this series up (I've got a few short-term ideas but I will also be doing another poll at some point with the remaining three fic idea from the last poll)

As always I love and appreciate every like/comment/reblog and keyboard smash of love. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend!

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know! Otherwise new chapters will be posted around 7:30pm GMT on Fridays.

Tag list :

@oliviaewl @lincerad @xxxsweetcarolinexxx @benbarnesprettygurl @dreadfulxives18

@danzer8705 @snowkestrel @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @intothesoul @uniquehijo

@anitaxl @solacedragonx @justiceforquentin @ladyblacky @marvelsunlight

@sweetserendipity65 @mrsalwayswrite @bunnygirlwriter876 @highwaytomichelle @bruxa0007

@jazzclubprincess @arwenscarlettalisonsloaneb @the-swift-escape @s0urw00lf @shwnirwin

@cosmoacrosscosmos @wordacadabra @rocxpxtalc @vintageangel08 @bartonsparrow25

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #(ii)wii ff

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hungermakesmonsters · 6 days ago

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This is the meanest sneak peek I've ever given... sorry 😅😅😅

#(ii)wii sneak peek

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hungermakesmonsters · 10 days ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/hungermakesmonsters/790153492838989824/me-screaming-about-the-new-chapter-of-iiwii-the?source=share

its for the engagement right? cus when they were at the hospital reader said billy was her fiance so theyd let him go in with her and catherine was right there

🤐🤐🤐 you'll get no spoilers from me, you'll have to wait until next Friday to see if you're right...

#(ii)wii ask

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hungermakesmonsters · 10 days ago

Note

Me screaming about the new chapter of (ii)wii. THE SOFT KISS. FUCKING CORRINE. THE DRESS?! BILLY BUYING IT?!? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT DOES CATHERINE WANT TO CONGRATULATE THE READER ABOUT?! ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER AND AN EPILOGUE LEFT?! CRYING. PLS LET THIS FIC GO ON FOREVER

😂😂😂 glad I could make you scream. Hopefully the last chapter gets the same response. Honestly, I know what you mean, I've really loved writing these two and I wish there was a way to keep it going but I don't really like when a story outstays its welcome and I feel like if I tried to do more with it now, it would just start getting stale and boring. So, instead, I'm going to send these two off with a bang and make sure I wring every last drop of drama from this story 😈 (and some of that involves the thing that Catherine wants to congratulate reader about)

#(ii)wii ask

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hungermakesmonsters · 11 days ago

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(It Is) What It Is

Chapter Twenty-Six

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smut. There will be smutty themes throughout the story. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : 6k

A/N : Who's ready to scream?😅

Master List

Chapter Twenty-Six

In the night he turned towards you, and you woke to find his head resting on your chest.

He looked so small, so fragile, a heartbreaking sort of innocence to him, and tears welled in your eyes when you realised he was gripping a fistful of your pyjamas as if he thought you’d slip away from him.

You wouldn’t.

You’d realised last night that you couldn’t, that no matter what happened between you, you’d never be able to walk away from him. Even if he never wanted you, never loved you the way that you wanted and loved him, you wouldn’t leave him.

Because Billy needed you, and you... you needed him just as much.

You glanced to the alarm clock, calculating how much time you had before you were supposed to be getting ready for the fashion show. A couple of hours. Enough time that you could let him rest a little longer.

The rain was still hammering against the windows, and it felt like the universe was telling you to indulge in a lazy morning in bed with him.

When he finally started to stir, you began to run your fingers through his hair, not giving him a moment to doubt or question what you thought he deserved. He took a shuddered breath and you felt him press closer to you, his grip tightening on your pyjamas. You knew he was awake, even though you couldn’t see his eyes, but you didn’t say anything, instead you kept holding him and running your fingers through his hair.

At least five minutes passed before he broke the silence.

“I’m sorry.”

Your fingers didn’t still. “There’s nothing to be sorry for.”

“Last night, I -”

“Last night you needed someone to look after you, and that’s what I did,” you told him with a firmness that surprised even you. “I’m not upset, Billy. I could never be upset at you for needing that.”

He was silent again for a few moments and, all the while, your fingers continued to slip through his hair.

Your heart skipped a beat when he moved. You thought he was going to try to pull away from you, and relief washed over you when he didn’t. He simply lifted his head and placed it on the pillow beside yours. Your fingers remained in his hair and his eyes closed, enjoying your gentle touch.

But he didn’t go back to sleep, he just kept his eyes shut, like he was trying to avoid whatever came next. But you couldn’t do that anymore. You couldn’t just bury your head in the sand, not after seeing him last night, not after finally realising how much he was hurting.

“Billy, I -” you stopped yourself, trying to decide what it was you wanted to say, “- what you said last night, about being... broken... have you talked to anyone about it? Your therapist? Or Frank?”

His eyes opened and he fixed you with an uncomfortable look, but you held his gaze as he shook his head.

“I’ve never really told anyone before last night,” he said.

You swallowed. It confirmed all of your worries; that he’d been dealing with it alone, probably for most of his life, and he’d never once let anyone help him unpack it all.

“I think you should,” you said quietly, starting to run your fingers through his hair again. “I think you should talk to someone about all these things because... because they’re not true, Billy. You’re not broken, and you deserve to be looked after and cared about.”

His gaze wandered from yours and you knew that if he hadn’t been so tired he would have thought up some line, some excuse to try and keep you from thinking about it.

“What happened yesterday wasn’t your fault,” you told him, wondering if he was in the right frame of mind to hear why it had happened. No, probably not. “I started to feel overwhelmed and it was my responsibility to tell you that, and I didn’t - I’m sorry that I didn’t.”

“You shouldn’t’ve -”

“Yes, Billy, I should,” you cut him off. “We’ve been doing this for long enough that I know how it works. Instead of asking you to slow down when I needed you to, I let it get to be too much. It was my fault.”

“I just... all I want to do is take care of you.”

“You do. More than anyone else ever has.”

He took a slow breath and, finally, it seemed like your words were starting to sink in. “I’m sorry for walking out like that, and for getting so drunk. I - I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“I think we both got a little overwhelmed, but we’re okay. You didn’t hurt me and you came home in one piece.” You forced a smile, ignoring the uncomfortable little what-ifs, all of the things that could have happened to him.

Billy managed to mirror your smile and out a soft sigh.

“Did you mean it?” He asked suddenly, leaving you more than a little confused. “Last night, when you said you’d stay for as long as I wanted you?”

It wasn’t exactly what you’d said, but it was close enough.

“Yeah.”

He reached for you, tenderly cupping your cheek. You stopped breathing. Your heart stopped beating. Everything just... stopped. Seconds felt like hours, days, weeks, as you stared into his eyes and found something you’d never expected.

The look said more than his words ever could, more than the thumb tenderly caressing your cheek or the soft smile on his lips; he felt it too. He wanted you to stay.

He...

He cared about you, wanted you.

When he moved, you didn’t hesitate, meeting him halfway and instantly losing yourself in the familiar press of his lips to yours. But this kiss was different, it meant something.

His tongue traced the seam of your lips and you parted for him, your tongue meeting his and eagerly returning the kiss, wanting to show him that you felt it too, that this thing between you was real.

You pulled him closer and soon found yourself on your back, the weight of his body on top of yours making you want to pull him closer still. You wanted to pull and pull until no space existed between you, until he fit into the hollow space between your ribs and made you whole again. You’d happily carve out your broken heart and scarred lungs to make him a home there so neither of you had to be alone again.

He muttered your name against your lips in reverence as your legs tangled and you allowed him to settle between your thighs. As he moved, a slow testing grind against you, your breath caught and you moaned into the kiss. The second shift of his hips was more pronounced, more deliberate, and you moaned all the louder when you felt his cock twitch through the thin fabric of your pyjamas.

Your back arched as you shifted beneath him, desperate for more friction, for everything, for all of him.

His fingers clumsily started to pull at the buttons of your pyjama top and you shrugged it off, barely breaking the kiss.

You should have been used to having his hands on you by that point, but nothing prepared you for the tender way he touched you, his fingers ghosting up your side and over your ribs like he’d never truly touched you before and he was desperate to commit every inch of you to memory. There was something real about it, something tender in the way his hand slid along your ribs and covered your breast.

It was almost enough to distract you from the gentle rocking of his hips and the growing heat between your thighs.

Minutes passed, just kissing and touching each other. There was no rush, no desperation, and no signs of dominance from Billy. You were equals, both giving and taking exactly what you wanted.

Finally, you felt his hand at your waistband, slipping below as he continued to kiss you. You let another moan escape you as his fingers slipped into your growing arousal, teasing your throbbing clit before sinking lower. Another louder moan spilled from you and your head dropped back as his fingers filled you.

You’d done this before, so many times now, but having him kissing you as he touched you, and you being able to touch him - it was simultaneously too much and not nearly enough.

His fingers moved with ease and an expert precision, knowing you inside and out, instantly creating sparks of pleasure throughout your body. Your fingers tangled in his hair, keeping his lips against yours, making sure he understood that you didn’t want him to even think about pulling away. (You never wanted him to pull away again.)

You reached down, wrapping your fingers around his cock, and almost came there and then when Billy let out the most desperate moan you’d ever managed to pull from him. Your touch was light, teasing as you stroked him not wanting things to end until you’d finally had him.

“Billy...” you breathed against his lips, back arching off the bed as his finger bent inside of you.

There was no playful warning, no threat of punishment, so you let your arousal continue to creep higher and higher until -

“Fuck, Billy!” You moaned against his lips as you fell apart so suddenly and so completely for him.

He pulled back a fraction, watching every flicker of pleasure that crossed your face, his fingers still moving until he was certain that he’d wrung every drop that he could from you. Then he paused, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes, still not entirely sure what you wanted.

“Don’t stop,” you said, fingers tightening in his hair and pulling him back down into another eager kiss. “Please don’t stop. I want this. I want you.”

A sound rumbled from the back of his throat as he kissed you again. His hands pulled at your pyjama bottoms and you wiggled and kicked your legs to help him get them off. You found yourself in the same position you’d been in on that beach in the Hamptons; Billy on top of you, his cock teasingly pressed against you, so close to giving you everything you wanted.

But this time there were no interruptions, nothing to ruin the perfect moment.

Your eyes opened and caught his gaze, and that one little look told him everything he needed to know; you wanted him inside you.

You gasped, murmuring his name into his mouth as the tip of his cock notched inside of you.

His lips pulled from yours and he pressed his forehead against yours, his eyes closing tight. He moved slowly, either because he wanted to savour the feeling or because he didn’t want to overwhelm you, as he sank into you, inch by inch. There was no discomfort, no need to adjust. There was only perfection, a feeling of completion, like you belonged together.

And, judging from the way Billy stilled when he was fully sheathed inside of you, you knew that he felt it too.

He looked at you, his dark eyes burning into yours.

Your fingers slipped through his hair, wanting to silence any doubts that might be stirring in his mind. You held his gaze, letting him see that you were right there with him, that you wanted this just as much as he did. Then you lifted your lips to his and reignited the kiss, spurring Billy on.

He started to move in long, deep and deliberate thrusts, fucking you in a way you hadn’t expected. Though, honestly, you weren’t even sure what you’d expected.

Each shift of his hips left you feeling like he was laying claim to you, taking ownership of every fibre of your being. Sparks shot through your body, from your curled toes all the way up to your lips where they spilled out as needy moans into his mouth.

You came easily - perhaps too easily, and if you’d had the time to think about it, maybe you would have been a little embarrassed at how quickly you fell apart for him. But as he fucked you through that first orgasm, it was hard to care about much of anything.

There was one thought and one thought only in your head.

Billy.

You cried out his name as your back bowed and your climax washed over you.

He’d made you come so many times but, as he continued to move, continued to drag out your pleasure, you were certain that you’d never experienced anything like it before.

Your fingers twisted in his hair, holding on for dear life as he gradually picked up the pace, and you found that blissful emptiness filling your head, no longer worrying or fretting, knowing you were exactly where you wanted to be, where you needed to be.

His lips moved to your neck, kissing and sucking, running his tongue over sweat-slicked skin in a way that made everything tingle. And your moans became wild irrepressible things as he playfully scraped his teeth against your collarbone.

Part of you wanted more, wanted him to sink his teeth into your flesh and never let go, to leave you marked and bruised just to prove that this was real, that it had happened.

You hitched a leg around his waist and earned a groan from him, the slight shift in position allowing him to sink deeper still until you couldn’t tell where you ended and Billy began. It was perfect, your months of playing, of denying yourselves this simple pleasure, made it into something greater, something real.

Despite the intensity of your previous orgasm, you could already feel another starting to build inside of you. You’d never felt anything like it before, never felt so close to another person - not just physically but emotionally. It was almost too much, too overwhelming. But you didn’t panic. No, if anything, you felt more at ease than you ever had.

You were his.

For as long as he wanted you, you were his.

It was real. It had to be real.

You heard your name scattered between breathless pleas and curses. He kissed you again in an effort to silence and staunch the flow of mindless, desperate words that were spilling from him. You’re mine. I’ve got you. Never letting you go. Knew you’d feel this good. Perfect. Mine. Mine. Mine.

His movements turned faster, the drag of his cock in and out of your body became more frantic, rougher, and you knew he was getting close. And so were you.

“Please,” he gasped, begged, as your walls clenched around him.

He didn’t need to say anything more than that. You knew what he wanted. And even if he hadn’t wanted it, there would have been no stopping it, no holding back. He wanted you to come again and you were in no position to deny him. The static buzzed in your mind, hearing his plea as a command, and you didn’t want to disobey.

Each thrust of his cock hit deep inside you and you arched up to meet it, not wanting him to hold back. There was no control in this, no real dominance, but you knew there would be the next time, and you were already craving it, desperate for him to make you his completely.

You cried out as you started to come again, your whole body shuddering and trembling as he kept driving his hips harder and faster.

Then you felt it. His cock gave a violent twitch and you felt the unmistakable warmth of cum spilling inside of you. He continued to move in rough, stuttering thrusts, dragging out your orgasm and causing your body to squeeze and clench around him as he emptied himself.

You couldn’t think about how you were unprotected, how you should have made him wear a condom. You’d been on the pill for years, and you were too lost in the hazy static of pleasure to care, even as you felt it slowly leaking out of you.

Your arms went tight around his back, pulling him close and holding tight. He stayed like that while your breathing settled and you both came down from your highs.

When he finally pulled out and rolled away, you felt a steady trickle leaking from you, but you were too boneless and overwhelmed to move.

But Billy moved - too quickly, too suddenly. Panic instantly flared inside of you and you reached for him, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your face to his sweat-damp chest. You didn’t want him to go, didn’t want him to pull away. Not now. Not after that.

Those familiar, overwhelmed tears started to roll down your cheeks and you hated yourself for crying after something so beautiful, but as reality started to crash down around you again, it was impossible to keep your emotions at bay.

“It’s okay,” he said, running a soothing hand up and down your back. “I’m just going to get a towel to clean you up.”

Still, you didn’t let him go.

You couldn’t.

You didn’t want things to be over, didn’t want him to have even a second to think about what had happened in case he decided that he regretted it. More tears fell and you found yourself struggling to hold back your awkward, half-choked sobs.

“Don’t go,” you choked out. “Don’t leave me.”

Billy tensed beneath your grasp, as if struck by the realisation of just how much it had all meant to you.

“I won’t,” he said, an uncharacteristic tremor in his voice. “I promise I won’t.”

He pulled you towards him before lifting you out of bed completely, and carried you into the bathroom as he had done so many times before.

You kept crying as he ran the bath, unable to stop the tears or the awkward little sobs. The weight of the last few months was finally crashing down around you - you had no idea what the future held or where you went from here, all you knew was that there was no going back.

You loved him.

You loved him so completely and utterly, that the thought of not being with him again was a physical ache that tore at your insides.

You loved him so fucking much. Every part of him, every piece that he thought was broken or wrong, every part that thought he was too much and didn’t deserve love. You loved him.

You were so lost in your own head that you barely noticed that the bath was filled, and you weren’t just being lowered into it. Billy was with you, settling behind you in the water. Seated between his legs, you sank back against his chest as you continued to cry.

And Billy didn’t try to stop you, he didn’t tell you that you were being silly, or that you didn’t need to cry. He allowed you your emotions, allowed you to feel everything without judgement or condemnation. His arms wrapped around you, holding you and making you feel safer than you had in a long time.

That was the thing that really got to you - you felt safe, happy, so why couldn’t you stop crying?

(Too much. It was too much. You felt like your chest was going to split open with all the love you carried for him.)

“I’m sorry,” you finally managed to say.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked softly, his arms giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“For crying so much...”

You felt him move, shaking his head. “You never need to apologise for that.”

“I don’t know why...” you sniffled, “but I can’t stop it...”

“It’s a lot. All of this is a lot. You don’t have to apologise for feeling overwhelmed.”

You gave a weak nod and sank against his chest, letting your head rest on his shoulder.

“Are you happy?” You asked in little more than a whisper, terrified of what his answer might be.

“Of course I am. Are you?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I... I’m really happy... with you...”

“I’m happy with you too, little dove.”

There was something in the way he said it that had your insides twisting, like you didn’t think he really understood what you were telling him.

“No, I - I mean...” you tried again, awkwardly turning and trying to face him. “Being with you... like this... it makes me happy, Billy.”

“I know.”

Did he? Could he?

You tried again to turn, needing to see his face, only to find yourself almost slipping as your body twisted in the water. Billy’s hands on your hips kept you from sliding too far and, when you continued to move, he helped you to turn. His legs shifted beneath you, allowing you to straddle his lap.

Your arms instinctively wrapped around his neck, and Billy pulled your chest to his, leaving no space between your bodies. Just seeing his face, seeing the way he was looking at you, settled something inside of you.

He wiped away the last of your tears with the back of his fingers, and smiled that tender smile that made you melt.

There were so many things that you wanted to say, so many things you knew you should ask; had things changed between you? What would happen next? But you were terrified of saying anything that might ruin the moment. So, instead, you gently pressed your lips to his, trying to show him instead of telling him.

Billy returned the kiss in kind, his fingers lightly pressing into your back as he held you close. It was soft, tender and lingering, and you never wanted it to end. You wanted to exist in that single moment for the rest of your life, with him.

When it did finally break and you had to come up for air, you found yourself staring into his eyes, wanting to confess everything.

“Billy, I -”

A shrill chirping from the bedroom interrupted you and, suddenly, you remembered that you were supposed to be getting ready for the fashion show. You’d set the alarm to remind you to leave on time, meaning you had ten minutes before the car Faye was sending for you arrived.

“Shit,” you grumbled and, for reasons you didn’t understand, Billy started to laugh.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he noticed you frowning at him. “It’s just... we always seem to get interrupted.”

A snort escaped you. He was right. But, at least this interruption had come after.

Your phone continued to chirp, but you didn’t want to pull away from Billy, even though you knew that you had to. You couldn’t stand Faye up just because you wanted to stay with Billy.

“Go,” he said softly, holding back a sigh. “Tonight, when we get home, we’ll finally have that talk, okay?”

That talk. The talk you were going to have when he got back from Vegas, that you postponed until after the Hamptons, and then completely forgot about while you were sick. The talk where he’d promised to finally tell you what he wanted.

“Okay,” you said, despite the dread coiling in your stomach.

He helped you out of the bath, but lingered in the water, as if he didn’t trust himself to follow you. Honestly, you didn’t trust yourself either; just one glance over your shoulder as you wrapped a towel around you had you wanting to climb back into the tub and ride him until he knew without a doubt how you felt about him.

You slipped from his room and made your way to the spare room to find something to wear - you decided on the first dress he’d bought you, wanting to have something nice that you could put on once you were finished modelling whatever Faye was going to put you in. It was a frantic rush to get ready and you were still a few minutes late getting downstairs.

Billy had kissed you softly, told you that he’d see you there, and told you not to worry.

Thirty minutes later, you were in the thick of it.

Last minute fittings to make sure the dress fit you properly (it needed one seam taking in so you wouldn’t fall over it), then there was a struggle to find shoes that fit. And, after all that, you were sitting in front of a mirror while your hair was tugged this way and that, trying to find an appropriate style. Then there was make-up.

Considering you barely had to move for almost two hours, you couldn’t remember ever going through anything quite so exhausting. But, it did help keep you from overthinking that morning and the fact that you and Billy had finally had sex.

So, when it came time for the show to start, you weren’t anxious, you were just ready to get it over and done with. Especially when you got a text from Billy.

We’re sitting in the front row. Can’t wait to see you.

Attached was a selfie of Billy, Karen and Frank, all seated and waiting. Billy hadn’t told you that Frank and Karen were going to be there too. Even though you knew that it was going to be awkward to be around them again since you’d told Karen the truth, you were glad that they were there.

You’d been so caught up in the awkwardness of your hair and make-up being fussed over that you didn’t even realise who else was there, but the moment you saw Corrine Fuller sneering at you from the other side of the large dressing room, you felt your stomach start to loop itself in knots.

It had been months since you’d seen her and, honestly, you hadn’t even spared her a second thought since that night, but having her and her gaggle of perpetual high school mean girls giving you sideways glances made you feel like shit. You rolled your eyes and made a point of looking anywhere but in their direction, but it wore on you.

You’d seen Faye intermittently since arriving and, from the looks of her, she was taking things far too seriously.

“You’re on second to last, I hope that’s okay,” she told you as she came over to check on you. “I got Billy and your friends seats in the front. How are you feeling? Is everything okay?”

You almost laughed. “I feel like I should be asking you that. You look about ready to fall down.”

Faye gave you a smile and a shake of her head. “I don’t know how my mother has managed to do this every year for the last twenty years. Oh, that reminds me, she wanted to tell you to find her when you’re done - something about congratulating you?”

“Congratulating?”

You had no idea what that was about, but Faye didn’t have time to answer. The music started and all the models were ushered towards the stage.

“Just go out, walk to the end of the stage and come back,” Faye told everyone. “Take your time with it and have fun. My daughter Leah is livestreaming everything, so let her know later if you want any of the footage.”

Your heart started to thump in your chest, watching as the first person went out on stage. Cheers and applause could be heard over the announcer telling the audience the name of the designer and the model as they walked.

You shuffled forward a step, then another, and another. All the while trying not to think about how close it was getting to your turn.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry,” the girl behind you said and you shot her an uncomfortable smile.

Just before the stage there was a full length mirror, no doubt so the models could check themselves one last time before stepping out and, when you reached it, you found yourself staring. It wasn’t until that moment that you actually stopped to look at the dress; long, all the way down to the floor, with silver detailing and sequins that made it look like the night sky. The neckline plunged between your breasts, almost all the way down to your navel, and the back dipped to just above the line of your panties.

Coupled with the purposefully messy updo, the dark and smokey make-up, the diamante choker, and the silver shoes, you looked... stunning.

It was a strange thought to have about yourself, the kind of thing you never would have thought before Billy. But, as you took a moment to look at yourself, some part of you dared to wonder if you could be enough for him.

(He was out there waiting for you. For you.)

The guy who’d been in front of you came back and you were ushered towards the runway.

“On the left at the end of the stage,” Faye said, and you didn’t realise until you were out there that she was telling you exactly where Billy was.

The cheering started up again the moment you stepped out into the lights of the stage. You froze for a split-second but then forced yourself to keep walking, telling yourself that you’d get to see Billy if you did.

You put one foot in front of the other and started to move, ignoring the music and the flashing lights around you, focusing on one thing. Him. Your lips pulled into a wide smile when you saw him, when Billy, Karen and Frank all got to their feet, clapping and cheering for you. It was almost enough to have you wanting to jump off the runway and into his arms.

It took less than three minutes to slowly walk the long catwalk, taking your time not just to show off the dress but because you didn’t want to risk falling over in the heels you’d been put in.

And the heels were the first thing to come off the moment you were off the stage and the last model started to walk.

You felt giddy as you rushed to change out of the dress, neatly hanging it up and placing the shoes with it while slipping your own dress back on. Then you dipped into the bathroom.

You were just about to flush when you heard footsteps and a familiar voice.

“Maybe he actually loves her,” one voice said.

“Please, you heard the rumours about her faking a pregnancy, right?”

Corrine.

For a second you gave her the benefit of the doubt - maybe she wasn’t talking about you - but she quickly proved you wrong.

“He probably can’t break up with her because he’s scared of her accusing him of workplace harassment,” she continued. “But trust me, Billy isn’t interested in her. They’ll eventually break up and I’ll be waiting. He’ll have a Cartier ring on my finger by this time next year.”

This time, you decided not to hide in the bathroom stall waiting for her to leave. No, you unlocked the door and stepped out with your head held high, and gave her a dismissive look as you moved towards the sink to wash your hands.

“You know, it’s really sad that you’re caught up on a man who wouldn’t even look at you twice,” you said, not bothering to look her way again.

“Excuse me?” She said.

One of her friends bit back a gasp and the other covered her mouth, trying to hide a smile.

“You’ve been talking shit about me for months now, but if you knew even the first thing about Billy, you’d know that he hates shit-talkers and fake, bitchy people,” you answered, managing to maintain your disinterested facade. “So, instead of trying to blame me for the fact you’re painfully single -” her friend almost choked holding back a laugh, “- maybe you should take a look in the mirror and realise there’s nothing attractive about being a petty, stuck-up bitch.”

She was lost for words for a few seconds.

“Why should I care what you think?” She soon countered. “You’re just a secretary -”

“I’m a PA, actually. And I’m the PA that spent all morning in Billy’s bed - a place I guarantee you’ll never get to see.” Finally some of the sharpness you’d been trying to hold back started to slip into your tone. “So, let me make this clear to you, Corrine; I don’t give a shit what you think about me or my job, but don’t you fucking dare assume you know anything about my boyfriend, because you don’t. He wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.”

Before she could even think to try and respond to you, you finished drying your hands and stormed out of the bathroom.

You must have been scowling because the moment Faye caught sight of you, her expression turned to worry. Then she saw Corrine and her friends leaving the bathroom just after you, looking just as annoyed.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, giving Corrine a wary glance.

You shook your head. “She’s been making bitchy comments about me and Billy for months now.”

Faye let out a huff and rolled her eyes. “She’s always been like that. Honestly, the only reason she’s here at all is because her grandfather is friends with mother. Do you need me to talk to her?”

“No, it’s okay. I think I said everything that needed to be said,” you told her.

And, despite not being a confrontational person, it felt great to know that you’d finally shown her that you weren’t some easy target for her and her childish gossip.

You shook your head again, wanting to forget all about Corrine and enjoy the rest of the evening.

“I’ve hung the dress back up, I didn’t know where you wanted -”

“Oh, did you want it dry cleaned before you take it?” Faye asked, seeming confused. “I can send it to you when -”

“Send it to me? Why would -”

“Shit,” she covered her mouth with her hand. “I think I just ruined the surprise.”

For a few seconds you struggled to understand what she was trying to tell you. “What surprise?”

What was going on?

“Billy spoke to the designer. He bought the dress for you.”

Of course he did. A few weeks ago you would have been angry, might have even demanded that she take the dress back and didn’t accept Billy’s money but... but you were still so happy, and you didn’t want an argument.

“In that case, is it okay if I leave it back here and grab it when we leave?”

Faye told that it was fine and she’d find the garment bag that went with it, leaving you to head out to the party to find Billy. Which, as it turned out, was easier than expected, since he was waiting for you near the door.

Before you could speak, his arm was around you and his lips were on yours. He stole your breath with that kiss and set your heart racing, and you forgot about everything that wasn’t Billy Russo.

You felt dazed when the kiss broke, uncertain of what to do with all the emotions suddenly filling you. Billy grinned, knowing exactly what he’d done to you, and he seemed very impressed with himself.

It took you a second to get your head straight again.

You playfully slapped your hand on his chest. “You bought me the dress?”

“No, I bought the dress for me,” he told you, leaning in close to mutter in your ear. “I got hard seeing you in that dress, little dove. I don’t want anyone else to ever get to wear it.”

Your cheeks started to heat. “You liked it that much?”

“I liked it on you that much.”

Your lips pulled into a devious smirk. “Maybe I should model it for you when we get home then...”

His arm tightened around you, pulling you closer. “Fuck, that’s all I’m going to be able to think about now...”

A/N : They finally got to fuck!!! And reader got to stand up for herself in front of bitchy people!! (I told you there would be pay off after all the angst!!) Next week is going to be the last proper chapter of this story, but don't worry, I've still got a couple of little twists and some drama in store, and there will be a epilogue the week after. I'm honestly so excited to share the end of this story because it's been so much fun and I've loved seeing everyone's responses to it week after week! Also, sorry for spamming everyone with my new masterlists the other day, I realised that I'd hit the link limit on the last one, so I had to come up with a new system.

As always I love and appreciate every like/comment/reblog and keyboard smash of love. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend!

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know! Otherwise new chapters will be posted around 7:30pm GMT on Fridays.

Tag list :

@oliviaewl @lincerad @xxxsweetcarolinexxx @benbarnesprettygurl @dreadfulxives18

@danzer8705 @snowkestrel @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @intothesoul @uniquehijo

@anitaxl @solacedragonx @justiceforquentin @ladyblacky @marvelsunlight

@sweetserendipity65 @mrsalwayswrite @bunnygirlwriter876 @highwaytomichelle @bruxa0007

@jazzclubprincess @arwenscarlettalisonsloaneb @the-swift-escape @s0urw00lf @shwnirwin

@cosmoacrosscosmos @wordacadabra @rocxpxtalc @vintageangel08 @bartonsparrow25

#billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo x female reader #the punisher #billy russo fanfic #billy russo imagine #(ii)wii ff

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hungermakesmonsters · 13 days ago

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I can't wait to make you all scream with chapter 26 on Friday 😈

#(ii)wii sneak peek

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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(It Is) What It Is Masterlist

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Status : In Progress

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

#(ii)wii ff #(ii)wii masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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Devotion & Desire Masterlist

Pairing : Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader

Status : Complete

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

Plot Summary : When you, a lone omega, move in across the hall from alpha Bucky Barnes, he knows that his life is about to get a lot more complicated, but he has no idea just how much you’re going to turn his life upside down. You’re both devoted to fixing your past mistakes, but will desire for something more get the better of you?

#devotion ff #devotion masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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The Red Ribbon Masterlist

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Status : Complete

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

Plot Summary : By day you’re Billy Russo’s clumsy PA, but by night you’re a host at New York City’s most exclusive gentlemen's club. At The Red Ribbon everyone is anonymous and masks conceal the identities of patrons and hosts alike. But your two lives are about to collide and Billy Russo is about to see a whole new side of you without even realising it...

Chapter List : CHAPTER ONE | CHAPTER TWO | CHAPTER THREE | CHAPTER FOUR

One-Shots : Better At You Plot Summary : After the events of The Red Ribbon, reader returns to work at Anvil.

#trr ff #trr masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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Love, Sick Love Masterlist

Pairing : Stalker!Billy Russo x Reader

Status : Complete

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

Plot Summary : Working at one of the shadier bars in Brooklyn, you have one rule; don’t mess around with the patrons. Most of them are criminals, dangerous. None more so than Billy Russo, but Billy believes that rules are made to be broken. Especially your rule. One lapse in judgement is all it takes for Billy to decide that you’re his, and he’s never been the sort of man to take rejection well

#lsl ff #lsl masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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(Once Bitten) Twice Shy Masterlist

Pairing : Vampire!Billy Russo x Reader

Status : Complete

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

Plot Summary : Desperate to get away from your controlling family, you take a job in New York as a wealthy vampire's blood source. A million dollars awaits if you can make it through a year, but life with Billy Russo is not going to be as simple as you think.

#(ob)ts ff #(ob)ts masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 17 days ago

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Catch Me If You Can Masterlist

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Status : Complete

Rating : R (18+ only, minors DNI)

Plot Summary : When your friend interviews for a position at Anvil, you have a chance encounter with Billy Russo. He takes you for coffee and, by the time you’re done, Billy decides he’s anything but done with you.

Bonus Chapters : CHRISTMAS One-Shots : TAKE ME BY THE HAND Plot Summary : It's been three months since you married Billy Russo on that beach in Mexico. Three happy months. Now a shocking discovery threatens to tear everything apart and has you questioning what you and Billy want for the future.

YOUR EYES Plot Summary : Pregnancy isn't easy for you but luckily you have Billy to take care of you.

CAN'T STOP WANTING Plot Summary : Heavily pregnant, you want to know why your husband Billy hasn't had sex with you in ten days.

THE MISSING PIECE Plot Summary : It's little Evie Russo's first birthday and you decide that want your little family to get bigger.

#cmiyc ff #cmiyc masterlist

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hungermakesmonsters · 18 days ago

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(It Is) What It Is

Chapter Twenty-Five

Pairing : Billy Russo x Reader

Story Rating : R

Warnings : [This is a fic for 18+ only, minors DNI] Smutty behaviour/toy use. There will be smutty themes throughout the story. Please check the warnings on each chapter if you choose to follow this story.

Word Count : 5.9k

A/N : 😅😅😅😅😅

Master List

Chapter Twenty-Five

“It’ll be okay.”

The voice cut through your sobbing, pulling your attention from the water that had reached your feet and was soaking through your shoes.

“Sebby, baby, get your sister out of her car seat.”

“The clip’s stuck,” he answered, choking back a sob of his own.

You looked down and, sure enough, your brother's hands were tugging at the clip - the clip that always caught, the clip that only your mom could get to cooperate.

“Keep trying, I need you to get your sister out.”

“Mommy,” the word tore from your lips, some part of you knowing that you weren’t the six year old girl in the car seat, some part of you knowing that this was the last memory you had of your mother.

“I know. It’s okay. Everything will be okay, I promise,” your mom said, over and over. “We’ll all be fine.”

A wet, gasping sob tore from you as you were pulled from the nightmare before the water could creep any further up your legs. Your face immediately pressed into Billy’s chest as you cried, holding onto him like he was the only stable thing you’d ever know.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you,” he muttered, running his hand up and down your back. “You’re safe.”

He let you cry, holding on until you were done and your sobs became little more than awkward sniffles.

“I’m sorry,” you said softly, voice trembling. “Sorry for waking you up.”

“You didn’t,” Billy said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He was silent for a few seconds before asking; “what was it? Your nightmare, I mean.”

“The crash, I was in the car and...”

He knew the story without you needing to finish, and his arms instantly tightened around you, offering a reassuring squeeze.

“You’re safe,” he said. “You’re always safe with me.”

You weren’t sure how, but you knew it was true, that you’d always be safe with Billy.

Snuggling closer, you tried to relax and, eventually, you managed to fall asleep again.

After that night and despite the conversation you’d overheard, things slowly returned to normal. You didn’t mention any of it to Billy, and he didn’t say anything about it to you. All you could do was hope that, when the time came, he'd be willing and able to have the conversation with you.

Over the following week you recovered enough to return to work - though Billy insisted that you work from home the first few days, wanting to make sure your immune system had time to fully recover. You didn’t argue, you were just glad of something to do beside laying in bed all day watching daytime TV.

Even though you were better, you didn’t return to your own room. Billy didn’t mention it, and you didn’t want to ask because... because it was nice sleeping with him, night after night, and Billy didn’t seem to mind it one bit.

You’d heard from the Van Der Koy's over the course of your recovery, but you hadn’t seen them. That is, until Faye turned up at Anvil three weeks after your trip to the Hamptons.

Security called and let you know she was there, and you quickly told them to send her up. Nothing quite prepared you for the almost frantic look on her face and, for a few seconds, you assumed that she was about to tell you something terrible had happened.

“Faye? Is everything okay?” You were on your feet before she was even two steps out of the elevator, ushering her towards a chair.

Your concern was enough to draw Billy from his office, but he said nothing and waited in the doorway to see what was going on.

Fortunately, Faye was just being melodramatic.

“I really need help and I didn’t know who else to ask. I know you RSVP’d and said you couldn’t make it tomorrow, but one of the models has broken her leg,” Faye said and she might as well have been talking a different language because you had no idea what she was telling you.

“Model? Tomorrow?” You repeated, glancing at Billy who had the good sense to at least look sheepish.

“VDK is throwing a charity fashion show tomorrow,” Billy said through an awkward smile. “I - I said we couldn’t make it because I didn’t know if you’d be feeling up to it, and I didn’t want you to feel like you had to go...”

If Faye cared that Billy hadn’t even told you about the event, she didn’t let it show. Nor did she seem to care about the look you shot Billy that silently told him you’d be discussing it once she was gone.

“I hate to ask at such short notice, but I need to find someone to stand in a model one of the dresses,” Faye continued. “Normally, I’d just pull the dress from the show, but the grandparents of the designer are donating a lot of money, and this is the first time that mother has let me take point on an event.”

“You want me to model?” You asked, sure that you’d misheard her.

You weren’t model material. You weren’t graceful, and just the thought of being in front of a crowd gave you heart palpitations. Why would she even think to ask you?

But there she was, nodding at you and waiting for an answer.

Your mouth went dry and you struggled to swallow around the lump that had lodged in your throat.

No. You couldn’t.

Only... it was for charity, and you didn’t want to disappoint Faye (or Billy).

“Okay,” you managed to choke out.

“Really? Thank you. Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver,” Faye said, clasping your hands in hers. “I’ll email you the details; we’ll need you an hour or so before the show to do hair and make up,” her eyes flitted to Billy, “and, of course, I’ll get you added to the guest list.”

“So, I just show up and wear the dress?” You asked.

“That’s it. Wear the dress, do a lap of the runway - it’ll literally only take five minutes, then you can enjoy the party, “ she said, already getting back to her feet, phone in hand. A woman on a mission.

She rushed through the goodbye, telling you that she’d see you tomorrow. Then she was gone.

You turned to face Billy, fighting to contain the anxious feeling that was already welling inside of you.

“I’m sorry,” he said, clearing the distance between you. “I should’ve told you we were invited. I just... I was worried. You’ve only just recovered and I didn’t want you overdoing it or feeling like you had to go along with it for my sake.”

“You can’t keep me hidden away forever,” you said as he stopped in front of you.

Maybe you should have been angry about it, but your concern laid elsewhere.

“What’s wrong?” He asked. “You’ve got a look...”

You almost smiled at just how easily he could read you now.

“Why did I just agree to that?” As if you thought he might know the answer.

He looked at you for a moment, his expression softening before he pulled you against him, hugging you.

“You’ll be fine,” he said, holding back a laugh.

“I’ll look ridiculous...”

“Why would you look ridiculous?”

You frowned. After all the time you’d spent together, how could he ask you that? Soon enough, his expression mirrored yours.

“Because... look at me...” you muttered.

Hands framed your face and he urged you to lift your face so he could look at you.

“I am looking at you,” he said before shaking his head. “You have no idea, do you? How beautiful you are? How you make me feel every time I look at you?”

Your cheeks instantly grew hot beneath his touch and you wondered if he could feel it, feel the embarrassment welling inside of you.

All you could do was shake your head.

“Are you disagreeing with me, little dove?” He asked, his voice taking on that dominant tone you hadn’t heard in weeks.

Yes. Only the word wouldn’t come.

Your throat bobbed as you swallowed, unable to answer.

Billy shook his head and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’ll look stunning tomorrow. No one will be able to take their eyes off you. I won’t be able to take my eyes off you.”

“You’ll be there?” It was a silly question - of course he’d be there, it was a VDK event, and he was so close to getting what he wanted.

“If you’re going, I’m going,” he said. “And if you don’t want to stay for the party afterwards, we can leave, okay?”

Finally you managed a nod.

His teeth scraped over his lower lip as he stared at you, his dark eyes seeming to look right through you, down to your very soul. The look had heat filling your body, need starting to prickle and ache within you. It made you think about that moment, three weeks ago to the day that he’d bent you over his desk.

“What?” You asked quietly.

“When I get you home tonight, I’m going to show you how beautiful I think you are.”

Your breath caught but, before you could think to respond, the phone in his office started to ring. When it didn’t stop after the third ring, Billy reluctantly pulled away from you and returned to his office, leaving you in front of your desk with weak legs and wet panties.

It was all you could think about for the rest of the afternoon, counting down the hours as you tried to get your work done.

While things were somewhat normal between you again, you knew Billy had been holding back. There had been no punishment, no moments where he let himself get completely lost in you and the control you offered him. He gave more than he took and, while it was hard to complain when he woke you up with his fingers or tongue between your thighs, you didn’t just want it to be about you.

You missed his dominance and craved the calming static that filled you whenever you submitted to him.

More than anything, you missed knowing that he was sated and happy, missed seeing him relaxed.

The car ride home was quiet, tinged with expectation that neither of your dared address. You kept his hand in yours, discussing dinner options, trying not to think about his earlier promise.

It was surreal how you managed to sit calmly and eat Chinese take out, making small talk about work and the fashion show tomorrow, going over the details Faye had sent. It started late afternoon, would last a couple of hours, then the evening portion of the event would begin. But, again, Billy told you that you’d be able to leave whenever you wanted.

You finished eating, sat for a few minutes to let your food go down, then you helped him clear the dishes. And, once that was done, he took your hand and led you into his bedroom.

Without needing to be asked, you unzipped your skirt and let it fall to the floor while Billy unbuttoned his shirt. You’d both stripped down to your underwear before he spoke again.

“I want to try something new,” he said, letting the tips of his fingers graze your cheek. “But I need to know that you’re ready, that you’re... okay.”

“I’m fine, Billy,” you said, even though your heart was racing a mile a minute.

His hand moved down, skimming over the lace cups of your bra. “Do you want to leave this on?”

Given a moment to think about it, you shook your head, and Billy’s eager fingers reached behind you, unclasping your bra. You let it fall down your arms, and watched the way his eyes took in the sight of you.

“Lay down on the bed, on your back,” he commanded and you obeyed.

You laid back on the pillows and watched as Billy followed after you, crawling over your body. It took every ounce of restraint you had not to start panting for breath with the way he looked at you.

He leaned towards the nightstand, pulling open the top drawer and pulled out a dark blue tie. Before you could even think to ask what it was for, he took hold of one of your wrists and gently urged it over your head where he attached it to the headboard with the tie. Then he did the same with the other wrist.

The knots weren’t particularly tight, and you were certain you could slip them if you felt like you had to, but it left you feeling completely at his mercy regardless. Arousal and trepidation soon went to war inside of you. He gave the silken bindings a tug before pulling back to look at you.

“Comfortable?”

“Yes,” you answered, somehow managing not to stammer.

He looked to the still open drawer, then back to you, clearly considering.

“Do you trust me?” He asked.

“Yes,” you said again, more confidently.

Your eyes followed as his hand dipped into that drawer again and pulled out another piece of fabric.

“Lift your head.”

You did as you were told and quickly realised what he had in his hands; a blindfold.

“You’ve had this stuff in your nightstand all this time?” You asked, trying to be playful as the world went dark around you.

Billy laughed and, despite the blindfold, you could picture his smile clear as day. And that helped settle you. Knowing that he was happy, that he was enjoying himself, settled you.

You felt his breath on your ear when he spoke again. “I’ve got lots of toys, little dove. This isn’t even scratching the surface.”

He pressed a teasing kiss to your nose, then one to your lips as his hand slowly began ghosting down your body.

You did your best to remain still beneath him, but the feeling of his fingers trailing over your breasts, teasing your nipples, had you squirming. Every touch was slow but purposeful, building the anticipation or what was to come, and keeping you guessing. He trailed down to your stomach, circling your navel, then down again, only to surprise you by pulling his fingers away.

Then his fingers were on your thigh, slowly trailing upwards while his lips pressed kisses to your shoulders and down your chest. Tremors coursed through your body the higher his hand got, but he pulled away again before reaching the apex of your thighs, before reaching where you were desperate to be touched.

His touch returned on the opposite thigh and the process began all over again as his lips continued to blaze a trail down your body. When he reached the edge of your panties, he pulled back completely and returned his lips to yours. A sound at your side told you he was reaching into the drawer again, but you had no idea what he’d pulled out until you felt it against you, pressed between your thighs and the wet scrap of lace that covered you.

There was something familiar, but you didn’t figure it out until Billy spoke again.

“I told you I had ideas for this,” he said.

Your vibrator. The one he’d stolen the moment you’d moved in with him. Now he was going to use it on you while you were tired down and blindfolded beneath him.

“So wet already,” he muttered as his fingers hooked your panties and slid them down your legs.

The slow drag of the toy between your folds was almost more than you could bear, your hips bucking as the length created a delicious friction against your clit.

“I won’t lie,” he said, continuing to torment you, “I’ve been thinking about this for days, needing it, needing you completely at my mercy.”

There was a strain in his voice, some emotion that he was trying to hold back. You didn’t need to ask what it was because you’d seen more than enough of it over the last couple of weeks; you’d worried him, left him feeling completely out of control in a way that nothing could fix.

You felt a pressure on your thigh, a silent warning that he would hold you down if he had to as he continued to tease you and make you feel things you hadn’t thought were possible before him.

“You’re going to be good for me and only come when I let you.” An order, not a question.

A threat of punishment lurked behind those words and it just made you feel more needy, the familiar static slowly starting to fill your mind, shutting out everything that wasn’t this moment. You let it wash over you, losing yourself in the calm, and surrendering to the knowledge that Billy would take care of you.

“Do you understand?” He asked, fingers curling into the flesh of your thigh.

“Yes,” you answered without hesitation.

Then he turned the vibrator on.

Your hips jolted off the bed at the suddenness of it, but you quickly settled again, thanks to that hand on your thigh. It had been a while since you’d used the toy but, still, you knew it well enough to realise he’d gone through the effort of recharging it. Clearly he really had been thinking about this moment.

The toy was pulled back until just the tip remained against you, barely grazing your clit, but even that was enough to have you fighting the urge to squirm and writhe against it.

The effort must have shown on your face because Billy muttered; “that’s it, stay still.”

And you wanted to.

You wanted to be good for him, wanted to lay still and give him everything that needed so that he would keep touching you, so that he would let you feel the pleasure that only he could coax from you. You had missed this, missed playing with him and how connected you felt to him in these moments.

Your breathing quickly became shallowed, more laboured as he easily pushed your arousal higher. But then everything stopped.

He pulled the vibrator away and asked; “are you okay?”

He wasn’t asking if you were getting close or if you needed a reprieve. No, he was asking if you were physically able to continue. He was worried about you, about your scarred lungs.

“I’m fine,” you said, almost begging, “please, don’t stop.”

You didn’t have to see his face to know that he was hesitating, second guessing everything that he wanted. And you didn’t want that, you didn’t want him to worry and fret every time you got a little out of breath.

“Billy, I’m fine. I’ll tell you to stop if I need you to.”

Thankfully, that was enough, and you almost jolted again as the tip of the vibrator returned to your clit, filling your whole body with that buzzing sensation. You bit your lip trying to stifle the desperate sounds that were already starting to spill out.

And Billy didn’t like that. His hand moved from your thigh, thumb coaxing your lip from between your teeth.

“Don’t,” he said in that commanding, warning tone, sending a shiver down your spine. “I want to hear you.”

To make his point, he increased the pressure against your clit and pulled a gasp from you.

Billy laughed and the mattress dipped as he leaned over your again. You could feel his breath against your face, his lips seeming only inches from yours. Unable to stop yourself, you lifted your head and tried to find his lips with your own, only for him to pull back again.

You whimpered.

“So needy,” Billy said.

“Please...”

Billy swore and, the next thing you knew, his lips were on yours. The kiss set a fire inside of you. If the vibrator had been slowly stoking sparks, then the kiss created a burning inferno of longing and want, and you knew he felt it too.

You gave up on trying to stay silent and, instead let out gasps and moans against his lips as his tongue slipped into your mouth. And soon - far too soon - you felt yourself getting close, your whole body shaking and tensing in anticipation of the orgasm he was pushing you towards.

“Ah-ah-ah,” he said, pulling away from your lips and pulling the toy from between your thighs, leaving you on the brink but unfulfilled. “I said you’ll come when I let you... or maybe I should have said if...”

“Billy...”

He didn’t answer your plea.

The bed shifted beneath you as he pulled back, ghosting his fingers up your thigh again, this time reaching the apex and actually touching you, slowly running a finger through your folds and then -

Fuck. You heard him sucking his finger.

“Ready to keep going?” He asked.

All you could do was nod because you didn’t trust your voice not to break.

Billy pressed the vibrator to you again, this time dragging it through your folds, grinding it against your clit with each movement. It wasn’t long before you were trembling again, your toes curling as tension coiled within you. And, the moment you thought he was going to let you release that tension, he pulled back again.

Over and over.

Two denied orgasms became three, then four. Five had tears soaking through the blindfold, your legs giving an involuntary kick.

“If you can’t stay still, I’ll have to tie your legs,” Billy warned.

You dug your heels into the mattress, not sure you could handle being completely immobilised by him. It was getting to be too much, and with the blindfold you had no concept of how long you’d been laying there and, as much as you were enjoying yourself, you felt primed to explode.

Suddenly the buzzing stopped and, for a terrible second, you thought that he was done, that he wasn’t going to let you come. Then you felt it, the tip pressed against your slit, slipping inside of you.

Billy groaned at the sight and, as your back arched, you tried to imagine that it was him inside of you, that it was his cock and not the toy that was filling you, The thought had you falling so deep into the static that you didn’t know if you’d ever come out of it again. You almost didn’t want to.

“Billy -” you moaned.

“That’s right, my little dove,” he said as he started to move the toy, slowly pulling it almost all the way out before sinking it inside of you again, making sure you felt every single spark of pleasure. “You’re mine.”

Yes.

His

You were his.

“Aren’t you?” He asked.

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before kissing you again, stealing away the last of your sanity. Your hands pulled on the restraints, desperate to touch him, to pull him close and hold on tight. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t get to him. You couldn’t even see him.

Something cracked open inside of you and the uncertainty started to spill out. You were his but he would never be yours. He’d never understand the depths of your feelings, and this would never be anything more than physical for him.

The uncertainty quickly turned to panic inside of you and caused your breath to hitch. You wanted to keep him, wanted to keep this, but you knew it was going to end.

He’d leave you.

You were his and this was going to end.

(Oh god, what if this was the last time? What if Catherine offered him the contract tomorrow and everything came to an end?)

You were his, but you wouldn’t be forever.

You couldn’t even hold him now.

“Stop,” you managed to choke out against his lips. “Red… red light… walnuts.”

Bill had already been pulling back the moment you asked him to stop, but your panic had your safeword falling from your lips regardless. The blindfold was pulled away and your wrists were quickly unbound, and the first thing you did was throw your arms around him, pulling him down and burying your face against his neck.

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled, trying in vain to fight back the tears. “I’m sorry, I -”

“What’s wrong?” He asked, holding you tight. “Did I hurt you?”

Your heart almost stopped, hating that that was his first thought. You shook your head.

“No - no - I just... I don’t know...” you struggled to explain through your growing sobs and the lingering static. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay, it’s -”

“It’s not -” you couldn’t get the words out, couldn’t find a way to express the panic that rattled beneath your ribs at the thought of all of this coming to an end. You held him tighter still, never wanting to let go. “I just... I can’t -”

Billy shushed you softly, holding you tight. You had no idea how much time had passed, only that he was holding you almost as fiercely as you held him. He didn’t move until you started to settle and calm.

He scooped you off the bed and carried you into the bathroom, just like he had a dozen times before. You clung to him as he started the bath, and buried you face against his neck as he sat on the closed toilet, waiting for the bath to fill. Billy didn’t speak, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to look at him for fear of falling apart again.

Stupid.

That’s what you were. You were stupid and selfish. You’d ruined it. You’d let your feelings get in the way, and now he was worrying about you again.

You remained silent as he lowered you into the tub, pressed a kiss to your forehead, then left you alone.

It was strange not having him sat by the tub, taking care of you, but you understood why he wasn’t there. He was giving you space. He thought you needed space.

You laid in the water for at least half an hour, turning everything over in your mind, again and again, trying to figure out what had happened.

He’d said you were his. He’d wanted you to admit it. And you had wanted to, you’d wanted to tell him the truth right then and there. But it wasn’t that simple. For Billy it was all part of the game, it was another act of dominance and control over you but for you... for you it was love. A love that he hadn’t asked for, a love that wouldn’t last. And, faced with that thought, you’d crumbled.

You’d caused him to worry, made him feel out of control again, and you couldn’t - you wouldn’t - do it anymore. He needed to know the truth. You’d tell him everything, you decided as you slowly got out of the water. You’d confess your feelings and hope that your honesty would be enough to keep him from hating you completely.

You’d always thought that, at the end of it all, you wanted to keep his friendship. Maybe if you were honest, he’d let you have that much.

But, as you stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped tight in one of his big, fluffy towels, your confession on the tip of your tongue, you realised that Billy was gone. He’d left the penthouse.

You dressed and waited, expecting him to return, to find out that he just went to the foyer to collect a delivery, or he needed something from his car, but minutes turned to hours and there was still no sign of him.

Of course, you thought about calling him or texting him, but the longer you left it, the more you realised that he was trying to get away from you, and you didn’t want to make things worse by forcing him to deal with you. So, you waited. You sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the TV, and hoped that he’d be back soon - especially as rain started to batter the windows and the weather forecast started giving storm warnings for the weekend.

At midnight, you had no choice but to give up and go to bed. His bed. Despite the sudden uncomfortableness you’d created between you and him, you didn’t feel like you belonged in the spare room anymore. So, you slid into his bed and pulled his pillow to your chest.

You fought against sleep, rousing at every little noise until, finally, you heard the ding of the elevator.

You almost fell in your haste to get out of bed, to get to him.

Turning on the main light as you slipped out of the bedroom, you found Billy standing by the elevator, looking lost in his own home. Your heart broke as you took in the state of him, his jacket hanging limply from his hand, his hair and clothes soaked and plastered to his body.

When you dared to move towards him, Billy almost flinched, taking a step back. You froze, watching him as he tried to look anywhere but at you.

“Billy?” You said softly, daring to take another step, slowly reaching for his hand.

He looked up the moment your fingers closed around his, and the shuddering breath that followed had your stomach in knots. You held his gaze, silently telling him that you weren’t going anywhere.

He smelled of alcohol and smoke over the dampness, and it told you all you needed to know about how he’d spent his evening - though you weren’t sure if the wet glaze to his eyes was from alcohol or upset. The words you wanted to say, the confession that you wanted to make, died inside you. You couldn’t tell him, not when he seemed so utterly defeated.

“Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes,” you said softly.

Thankfully, he let you lead him into the bedroom, but that was as far as his compliance went.

You turned to face him, taking his jacket from his hand and tossing it in the direction of the bathroom to be dealt with in the morning, then you started to unbutton his shirt. He let you undo two buttons before his hands gripped your wrists to stop you. The broken look on his face caused a stab of pain in your chest, and Billy shook his head.

He was saying no to what you were doing, saying no to you taking care of him as he had so many times in the past.

“Let me take care of you,” you said softly.

Billy shook his head again, awkwardly inhaling through his nose.

“Why not?” You dared to ask, pressing your hands to his chest, letting him feel your touch.

His fingers remained firm around your wrists. “I - I don’t deserve it.”

In one sudden movement, you managed to wrestle your hands from his grip and took his face in your hands, forcing him to keep his eyes on you.

“What are you talking about? Of course you deserve it.”

Again, Billy shook his head.

“I hurt you.”

“No - Billy, no - you didn’t hurt me. You just... I was overwhelmed and it was my fault,” you tried to explain without telling him everything. “I promised I’d tell you if things got too much for me and I - I fucked up. It was my fault.”

If your words reached him, he didn’t let it show.

“I’m broken. I hurt people, then they leave me...”

“No,” you said firmly despite the way your heart was fracturing in your chest. “You’re the kindest and sweetest man that I know. You always look after me and make me feel safe. I know you’d never hurt me.”

“You’re going to leave me...”

Your hands squeezed, pressing on his cheeks, trying to pull him out of the darkness that was consuming him.

“No, I won’t,” you promised. “Not if you don’t want me to.”

“You’ll - you’ll stay?”

Finally, you saw a glimmer of something on his face, a sign that he was listening to you.

“Of course I’ll stay. We’re a team, right?”

“I want that. I want us to be a team,” he said, his voice threatening to break. “I want you to stay...”

“Then I’ll stay.”

He took a shuddering breath and, finally, nodded. Somehow, you managed to hold back your relief and blinked back the tears that had started to prickle at the corners of your eyes. It broke your heart to see him this way and know that you were the cause of it, that you’d made him feel so out of control that he had started to crumble.

Slowly, you returned your attention to his wet clothes, unbuttoning his shirt and slipping it off his shoulders. Your gaze found the faint scar on his shoulder and you felt sick and angry, hating anyone and everyone who had ever made him feel like he wasn’t worth caring about.

You were slow and methodical, keeping your eyes on his, making sure that he understood you were right there and that you didn’t see him as a burden. Every single item of clothing came off and, when he was completely naked and sat on the edge of the bed, you quickly dipped into the bathroom and grabbed a towel to dry his hair.

Once he was dried off, you ushered him into bed and climbed in behind him, pressing your body against his back and wrapping your arms tight around him. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol still clung to his skin as you pressed your face to the crook of his neck, but there was nothing in the world that would have made you pull back from him in that moment. You needed to show him that you were there, that you weren’t going to leave him.

“I’m here, Billy,” you muttered softly as you felt him finally start to relax. “I’m yours... for as long as you want me, I’m yours...”

You didn’t know if he’d heard or if he’d even remember come morning, but it felt good to finally say it.

A/N : 😅 so... if everything goes to plan, there will be two more chapters of this story and then, probably, a epilogue. But, don't worry, there's still plenty of drama to come and I can't wait to share it!

As always I love and appreciate every like/comment/reblog and keyboard smash of love. Thanks so much for reading! Hope you all have a great weekend!

If you'd like to be tagged, please let me know! Otherwise new chapters will be posted around 7:30pm GMT on Fridays.

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