#its also why he's a paladin not a cleric

[wardingprotector]

valar, despite his worship and connection to Melora as a paladin, is fairly ambivalent and curious about others beliefs and worship practices. he thinks that if you can find comfort, and hope, and joy from somewhere that does not cause harm to others, then you should not fear worshipping that.

relatedly, he genuinely admires people like father lucien and father donavich who can keep their faith as strong as it seems while in a place like barovia. worshipping a god of light and dawn when it's eternally cloudy and dark and gray is a trait he finds incredibly amazing.

[moeblob]

TIL "Lay On Hands" is a paladin healing skill and I am blessed by this knowledge.

[theartisticintrovert]

Commission Me! (Regular | Furry)

so overlord finished, which means new campaign time! it's finally, FINALLY time for my undead cowboy to shine!!! everyone, i'd like to introduce you to silas kelly, a character that started as a joke that i got unreasonably attached to. he's inspired by the song "hell's coming with me" by poor man's poison, and when i introduced the concept to my friends one of them (the dm for this campaign) liked the concept so much that he spawned an entire homebrew world, story, and campaign around him.

i've never been more flattered, honestly. it had to be reworked a teeny bit to be a multiplayer rather than solo campaign, but it worked out! now my amnesiac bastard has friend! just one right now, hopefully that changes.

not pictured: his trusty revolver, aka his main weapon of choice, holstered under his coat. because of course a western-themed campaign has guns who do you take us for. aiden was even nice enough to let me use divine smite (usually a melee-only feat) with it, so long as i agreed to give up one of my oath feats at level 3. not a hard choice at all, considering there's no reason to use abjure enemy when i have a gun.

[runaeveena]

Your dashboard if you were in a d&d fantasy world still involved in fictional erotica discourse part 2

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

now that the new Mountain Angel volume has come out can we please tag spoilers, some of us are still waiting for our pigeon mail

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

you can access the volume in full on TomePlane!

🎭 bardcampistrash Follow

until TomePlane acknowledges that its interplanar storage is made possible by binding aboleths to the plane and killing them then we are going to continue not using that platform, thanks

🦚 faeynadaughter Follow

aboleths killed my cousin who was a royal cleric. ill never understand why theres a whole movement to protect abyssal creatures when theyve caused so much damage to our kingdoms. and disliking a pocket dimension which provides thousands of people access to books? your attitude reeks of anti literaturism and mal-aligned virtue signaling and im not sure which is worse

🫒 tenthday237 Follow

Aliizya gets pregnant on page 62

⛰️ berenicesblade Follow

banished

620 Notes

🏰 finchtruther Follow

okay but the way that faelor finch writes every song that perfectly fits pennbiel liiike its giving closet fangirl

🧭 waywardwarlock

seriouslyy!! like what else is "give me your unmarked hand / in the shadowfell we won't be a secret" supposed to be about if not pennipher and corabiel

16 Notes

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

yall please dont fill up the unseen servant tag with your super fucking weird smut posts im just looking for tips on how to find my unseen servant

🪡 scç-writer

the search function on tomeblr does need to be updated but we dont have to kinkshame :)

🌫️ cloudgiant-snailboy Follow

the site is being overrun by virgin degenerates

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

sounds like you need Wilam the Wizard with Wandering Hands to help you summon the unseen stick in your ass

290 Notes

🗝️ crypt-princess Follow

so whose going to be the first to commission a painting of that scene with Aliizya and the beholder 👀

🍎 bloodmaledickening Follow

i already asked my local artisan he said he's gotten two other commissions for the same scene lmao

🐁 softbarbarian

girl i commissioned a tapestry

45 Notes

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

friendly reminder that devil deals are a real thing that a lot of people fall victim too and that demons are malicious and do destroy peoples lives if theyre not careful so please be careful when consuming works like Hellionfinity which romanticizes devil deals and fiendish soul contracts

🌾entangled-farmer Follow

imo any work of fiction that involves a romance between any type of fiend is not just problematic but harmful

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

i used to be indifferent to books that had devil romance interests because like thats their whole thing theyre seducing people to get their souls and the mc overcomes it, but reading through the replies i see that Hellionfinity actually ends with the devil character as the main romantic lead which is super problematic in terms of power imbalance and the fact that he has a redemption arc is so out of touch especially since our military is finally recovering from the azgurian assault

🧚🏻‍♂️arms-of-faelor

helliofinity also has a scene where the main character uses a soul coin that an imprisoned mortal gave him and he uses it to bring the devil out of avernus so he doesnt fully die and no one in the book mentions it or talks about how messed up it is to use soul coins and we never see the now bound to hell prisoner ever again

🕯️ andersfirelight Follow

hellionfinity officially cancelled on my end!

88 Notes

☘️ celest-ial Follow

moment of silence for all the customers waiting on drink orders while the tavern wench gets her back blown out by a new guy every night ✊😔

🦁 king-killa Follow

the gods work hard but Girthy Gladys gets worked harder

57,022 Notes

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

paladin and warlock romances are OUT! cleric and necromancer romances are IN!

🪭 royalcoinpurse Follow

the only thing a cleric should do to a necromancer is beat him to death so she can revive him and kill him again

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

❇️ arch-dryad Follow

i think we need to analyze why we're so quick to place women in categories of devious seductress or healer in romance novels as if that hasnt been the pervasive trope that holds magic-touched women back in our actual society

🍯 treebarkhookhandwagondoor

why do you assume these fictional tropes are mf couples only? can a gay cleric not beat his gay necromancer boyfriend to death?

🎲 beholdersbeholdingme

and off! beat him off cmon guys

5,275 Notes

🧀 weremouse Follow

yall ever be talking or whatnot and feel like no one understands you

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛄᚠ ᛡᚢ ᚳᚪᚾ ᚱᛁᛞ ᚦᛄᛋ ᛡᚢ ᚺᚪᚠ ᛏᚢ ᚱᛁᛒᛚᚪᚷ ᚦᛄᛋ

🧀 weremouse Follow

say that shit fr (<- looking around clueless)

🪨 sebrenenogdon Follow

ᛋᛁᚱᛁᚪᛋᛚᛁ

60 Notes

🌠 crownofstars

remember when that person made a call out post for the author of ilairepeler for using a ghost writer and it turned out the author was an actual ghost. writing. like a literal ghost writer. like.

🍄gnomestool Follow

arent you the dwarf that fucked a slaad

🌠 crownofstars

how would you like to become a ghost so you can write more witty comments like this for eternity

301 Notes

[theology101]

Galicaea murdered Cassandra and Sol murdered Ankarna - which is why Kipperlilly Did That

We learned in Revelations and Revivifications (Episode 11 of Season 2) that it was her Clerics from Fallinel who murdered Cassandra. That's just straight up a fact. Now, we don't know exactly what her role in this is but, "As Above, So Below." If Galicaea's top priests are making this move, then Galicaea was down with it.

I've heard a lot of people refer to the wolf aspect as if it was some 'real' version of the faith that's been corrupted. It isn't, it's an Older aspect and its one that Tracker and Co. love a lot more but both of them are a result of worship.

We learned about this 'Last Great Sylvan War' around 900 years ago about the proper way to worship Cassandra. While the High Elves who settled it went with "Erase the goddess - to understand mystery is a heresy," I'm guessing they also heavily influenced the Wood Elf/Non-High Elf variant of Galicaea into being more in line with their version. Obviously a remnant survived in folk religion like with Tracker and other Werewolf communities, her revival reveals that prior to her, there hasn't been any serious challange to Falinel statement.

I think that then Sol started marching North. Gallicaea had claimed Night as hers and hers alone, by deceiving their shy and naive sister and then went to finish the job with Ankarna. But her? No way they could convince Ankarna to kill herself, especially now that her sister was 'dead' (Cassandra technically managed to live via the Quasi-Reality inside of Sylvaire, Kristen more redefined her and allowed her to be alive outside of the Nightmare Forest).

So I think that the Human Priests of Highcourt and the Elves of Fallinel agreed to wipe them out. Sol's paladins burnt their way up the coast and conquered it - we know that the land of Elmville is native Halfling territory, but right next to it is the Mountains of Chaos which was, in my opinion, their true target. Sol wanted the aspects like Conviction, Fire, Rage, Etc. while he gave Helio Summer.

Meanwhile, Ankarna? Her turning Infernal wasn't something done to her, it was something she/her priests did. Why would they do that? Because they're being invaded. The Giants probably took on a more leadership based roll compared to the far less capable to defend themselves Halflings, Goblins, Aaracockra, arguably even Orcs. Turning more and more evil, brutal, and extreme is a result of her being back further and further into a corner. It was a defense of the other races and for her own life.

I think that, while adventuring in the Mountains of Chaos for Spring Break, the Rat Grinders found out about Ankarna's priests and believers being wiped out, maybe one of her ancinet and long forgotten temples. That was it and it would have been it, if Kipperlilly didn't learn about Cassandra. I think her sheer, burning jealousy made her want, above anything else, to bring back a Goddess herself.

And her solution was going to be Lucy Frostblade. And for about two weeks, Ankarna was brought back with Lucy being her sole worshipper. And this is what I think happened next: sweet, kind, Lucy Frostblade's Ankarna wouldn't be the warlike aspect. She'd be like how she was before the Humans and Elves attacked, a kind and loving goddess.

Except there's a problem. There's another worshipper - just one.

Jace Stardiamond, draining power from the corpse of the long dead war goddess.

So, he and Kipperlilly somehow get in contact (my money is through Oisin secretly being a sorceror the whole time and just Acing wizard classes with 0 effort) and together they agree there's only one solution - kill Lucy Frostblade so their version of Ankarna can remain. The High Five Heroes kill Lucy and all begin worhsipping Ankarna (all under the influence of Devil's Honey.) Kipperlilly, Oisin and Mary Anne are all in on it (symbolized by their Blue backgrounds) but Ivy and Rueben refuse to go along with the murder but, since they're not in the way, they're able to be devil's honeyed into not knowing (Symbolized by their red background).

Ivy's weird reaction to Fig? She always 'knew' that Lucy was alive - she's not important to the plan anyways, so she doesn't need to be included. Some random lie is fed to Ivy to explain why Lucy isn't recognized as 'dead.' Reuben though? Kipperlilly can still use Reuben - use him to proselytize and spread the word of Ankarna - so not only does he need to be aware of the details around Lucy's death and all the Ankarna stuff, he also can't know the Ratgrinders killed her. He clearly still thinks highly of her - I think that vomitting the 'blood' in his dream was Fig breaking the Devil's Honey barrier in his mind.

Which is why, as Gertie told us, Kipperlilly ordered two bottles RIGHT after break. They need to keep him in line with the plan.

Jace changed the records in the school so that Yolanda never realized that she switched gods from Ruvina, and used his own spells to fuck with the name and hidden it (clearly there's a difference between the rune on the paper, which no one could read, and the translated version in Fallinel which has been sat for a thousand plus years), and did the same to the body. Yolanda, trusting him as Vice Principal, tells him about her fears, he goes with her into the woods and then instantly kills her in the clearing.

The plan is to take Ankarna from the Dead/Undead form (but now conscious thanks to their efforts) back to being actually alive via a Cleric believing in her.

Of course, in the mean time they need a Cleric. Make him expendable, but still useful. Make the cleric be a Priest of Helio or Sol so that they can kill him, immediately planeshift into Heaven behind him, eliminate his soul and then Oisin and Kipperlilly sneak into the office and bring back the Goddess. In fact, I bet they're gonna fling Buddy Dawn's soul into the void and using the death of a cleric of Helio, Ankarna will return. Killing Buddy was the act of Conquest they needed.

Rueben is obviously in doubt, trying to get help from his Uncle (skipping Forest Animal Murdering and asking for a ride home?), but I think Oisin is in it for the power. Mary Anne is a Kobold, and I think Oisin's Grandma is the dragon her tribe is sworn to so she just follows him around.

I don't think any part of Jace Stardiamond's section of the plan, the bit about the return of Ankarna, has anything to do with Kipperlilly running for preisdent or their quest against the bad kids. Killing Buddy in the Last Stand was just a conveint series of events but as Brennan said in the adventuring party - it looked like killing Buddy was already on the table. That wasn't a freak out move, it was on the agenda, she just wasn't there yet.

For the Presidency, unlike the Ankarna plot where only Oisin and Stardiamond are conspirators, all the Rat Grinders are in on it because they all seem to have personal beef. Except for Oisin and Mary Anne, who seem to be fine with the Bad Kids as a whole, just still on Kipperlilly's team for the race.

For that, Kipperlilly frames the Loams for embezzling, pocketing the money, and then using Ankarna's nightmare king form to kill the Loams when it looked like she was being to thoroughly looked at. Now she has money for both Schemes and the Campaign. Stardiamond tells Reuben to move Frostfaire to the Thistlepsing Tree (just to fuck with the ground and, if I had to guess, be the reason why Gorgug has been getting angrier and angrier as the season's gone on. Specifically, he seemed to really 'Get Mad!' when fighting Grix).

Kipperlilly knows about Buddy's grandpa so after Yolanda gets killed by Jace, Kipperlilly tells Buddy to ask his grandpa to apply while Jace puts the question to Mazey (a decision he should've made himself, to be honest). Bobby's here just to get Kristen expelled, and when they they decided to take the last stand, she grabbed a Rage Shard, strapped it on an arrow, and aimed it at the proctor.

I think that, as the ultimate 'fuck the bad kids' move, the Proctor would go angry and huge and the party would be forced to kill him. Not only does he die, but they were the ones who killed him which would MURDER their grade. I would guess.

But Kristen saw her, and could prove that another student directly interfered with the test (via undergoing a zone of truth). So instead, Kipperlilly indirectly interferes and puts the 'lets kill Buddy' part of the Main Plan into effect. Probably would have happened anyways (they're in a pocket dimension alone, great time to kill a man tbh)

[thenerdyindividual]

Want stories featuring queer characters in fantasy, science fiction, or horror settings, where being queer is central to the character but not the only thing they have going on? Let me introduce you to my list of podcasts!

To start we have Welcome to Night Vale. You’ve likely heard of it thanks to the tumblr sexy man poll, or if you’re old school tumblr like I am. It’s a classic for a reason, it kicked off the fiction podcast renaissance and was queer from the jump.

Welcome to Night Vale is an episodic podcast taking the form of radio broadcasts from a strange desert town called Night Vale that appears to be in a parallel universe to ours. It follows the bizarre occurrences within the town and the oppressive government’s clumsy attempts to cover them up.

How is it queer? The show also follows the personal life of radio show host Cecil Palmer who met new-to-town scientist Carlos, and “fell in love instantly”. Not only are they now married, they’ve adopted a child together.

Alice Isn’t Dead

From the creators of Welcome to Night Vale, Alice Isn’t Dead is a horror fiction podcast that follows Keisha, a woman who became a long haul truck driver to go in search of the wife (Alice) she thought was dead, but discovered was alive. In the process she uncovers monsters lurking among us and a massive government conspiracy trying to hide the truth.

How is it queer? As stated, the inciting incident is that Keisha discovers that her wife is secretly alive.

Dimension 20: Fantasy High

A dungeons and dragons actual play show. This season is set in a 1980s John Hughes-esque fantasy high school called the Arthur Aguefort Adventuring Academy. It follows six high schoolers starting their first day of freshman year as they form their adventuring party and try to uncover the mystery of why girls at their school keep going missing.

How is it queer? Kristen Applebees is the cleric of the party, and most of her arc in the first season is based in the struggle between honoring her religious upbringing and the god that gave her her magic, and realizing she’s a lesbian. Fig Faeth (the bard of the group) does not have a romance arc in this season, however in season 2 she does end up in a romantic relationship with another woman, and much of her arc in that relationship is based around the insecurities hidden behind her rock and roll persona. Riz Gukgak (the rogue of the group) does not use the term asexual on screen, however it is clear in a conversation in season 2 where he discusses feeling awkward about not being horny when all his other friends are. He was later confirmed as asexual by dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Dimension 20: The Unsleeping City

Another story with the same players as Fantasy High. This story takes place in a fantastical New York City where the waking world intersects with the world of dream and magic. The story follows six adventurers as they struggle to keep the two worlds in balance with each other, and prevent the big bad from ruining the world of dreams forever. It’s Brennan’s love letter to New York.

How is it queer? Pete Conlan (the sorcerer of the group) is a bit of a dirt bag drug dealer who is struggling to learn to take on the responsibility of being the voice for the dreams. He is also a trans man. His awakening into the magical New York occurs because his dad attempts to deadname him, and he uses his magic powers to fill his dad’s mouth with bubbles and blast him away.

Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 1

This is another dungeons and dragons actual play set in a more traditional D&D world. It follows the story of three adventurers living in the shadows of the saviors of Bahumia that came before them. Only to realize one of those saviors might not have retired, and is up to no good. They will have to save Bahumia from one of its saviors.

How is it queer? Beverly Toegold The Fifth (Paladin of the group) is the fantasy equivalent of a Boy Scout and ends up in a romantic relationship with another boy from his troop. (They’re both meant to be 16 by the end of the campaign I believe.) Moonshine Cybin (the Druid of the group) is just generally horny for everyone and anyone that impresses her, but she does also spend her last night before the final battle hooking up with Hardwon’s (the third party member) sister in law.

Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 2

This story is set in the world of Eldermourne which delves heavily into the aesthetic of gothic horror. It follows three adventurers as they go in search of a missing witch that will help them protect Eldermourne from the conflicting factions of gods and religious extremists each trying to take the world and remake it in the way that suits them.

How is it queer? A major thrust of the story is that Fia Boginya (the wizard and cleric multiclass of the group) once saved her dear friend Irina from execution, but they end up needing Irina’s magic to protect the world. The party goes in search of her, and Fia admits to having always been in love with Irina, even when they were just children.

The Adventure Zone: Balance

Another D&D actual play. This one is set in a fantasy world that draws heavily on both fantasy and other aesthetics. The three adventurers encounter an extremely powerful and destructive magical object, and manage to capture it. In doing so they are inducted into the organization called the Bureau of Balance, and are sent on missions to recover the other objects of power that have been scattered across the land. There is more to the characters than even they know.

How is it queer? Taako the Wizard (one of the adventurers) ends up in a romantic relationship with the Grim Reaper who in this world is a man. There is also a romantic relationship between two women who are also members of the Bureau of Balance that hangs out in the background of the story. A trans woman is also prevalent in the story, but explaining anything else about her reveals major spoilers for the campaign, but trust me she is narratively important.

The Adventure Zone: Amnesty

This is another actual play show, but it uses the Monster of the Week system that was created using shows like Scooby Doo, X-Files, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is set in the fictional town of Kepler, West Virginia and the Monongahela National Forest. Cryptids are real and they all hang out in Kepler. Three friends band together to stop monsters with ill intent from destroying the town, and learn more about the world that parallels theirs. It is Dungeon Master Griffin McElroy’s love letter to the West Virginia town he and his brothers grew up in.

How is it queer? Aubrey Little is the magic user of the group and identifies as bisexual. She ends up in a romantic relationship with a vampire girl in town.

Campaign Skyjacks

It is another role playing game actual play. I’m not entirely clear on what system they are using, as a lot of it is the creation of the game master. It is set in a fantasy world where crossing the oceans has become too treacherous, so pirates, privateers, and sailors alike have all taken to the sky in airships. The story follows four crew members of the ship the Uhuru as they try to make the ship profitable all while trying to hide from the rest of the crew that the captain has long since died and the doctor has been puppet-ing his corpse for weeks now.

How is it queer? I am still in the early stages of the podcast so there may be more queer characters later, but off the bat there is Gable who is the quarter master of the ship. Gable is non-binary.

These are not the only podcasts that fit the bill, but these are the ones I listen to. I’d also like to give a special mention to most other seasons of Dimension 20. There are a ton more, and you’re likely to get at least one queer character per season. However, I wanted to keep it to things you could find for free. Fantasy High and The Unsleeping City are both free on YouTube, but all other Dimension 20 seasons are on the streaming service dropout tv (which I do recommend getting because they do a lot of other good shows too.)

Feel free to add more shows in your reblogs!

[thydungeongal]

I can't believe you'd just drop that Rolemaster has "very unique metaphysics" and leave it like that. Could you talk a bit more about it?

So okay. At the heart of Rolemaster there's the fact that it was made by a bunch of guys who thought D&D wasn't crunchy and "realistic" enough. These people also thought that D&D clearly didn't have enough stats. They were also obsessed with symmetry. Now that I've laid the foundations, let me go further in depth:

D&D was clearly unrealistic because it only had six stats. There needed to be more. The way they decided to go about this was to divide each of D&D's stats into two pairs of closely related stats. They first paired off Strength and Constitution, and then went to work: splitting Dexterity into Agility and Quickness, Intelligence into Empathy and Reason, Wisdom into Intuition and Memory, and Charisma into Presence and Self-Discipline.

Now, at this point in time it had already been established in D&D, that Intelligence was the stat related to Magic-User and Illusionist spells (which would later come to be known in D&D as Arcane magic) and Wisdom was the stat related to Cleric and Druid spells (which would later come to be known in D&D as Divine magic). Rolemaster implemented those types of magic, calling them Essence (the "Magic-User" type magic, the rawest form of magic in the fiction of Rolemaster, its governing stat being Empathy [a really weird name for a stat that actually is, like, how well you're in tune with the world?]) and Channeling (the "Cleric" type of magic, magic that flows from the divine, and magic closely related to life, its governing stat being Intuition).

At this point one of the designers probably went "Wait a minute this fucking sucks: why isn't there a third type of magic that is governed by the Presence stat?" After the dust settled following what must have been a pretty epic brawl between Coleman Charlton and Terry Amthor, Amthor was tasked with coming up with a realm of magic tied to the third stat pair. He came back with Mentalism, which is kind of like D&D psionics, but also not really.

So okay, Rolemaster has three different realms of magic, and not only are the mechanics of how their users gain their spells explained differently and their spell lists unique, they also come with unique sets of restrictions. The flow of Essence is disturbed by dead matter, including metal and leather. That is why Essence users need to go unarmored, wearing heavy robes at most. Channeling, being the magic of life, can't flow properly through metal, so Channeling users need to eschew metal armor (which became hilarious once they introduced the Paladin profession and needed to come up with a way for the knights in shining armor to still be able to cast Channeling spells). Mentalism, being mind magic, flows from the brain, so Mentalism users can't cover their heads.

There are some other interesting specifics: in the versions of the game where they've gone even deeper into distinguishing the three realms of magic by the actual gameplay mechanics Essence users have benefited the most from flamboyant gestures, 'cause the best way to throw fireballs is to do cool firebending motions; Channeling users have benefited from SHOUTING while casting their spells, because I guess the gods can hear you better that way; and Mentalism users have been unique in that their spells require no movements or words, just thoughts.

It's wild! And this is only scratching the surface of it, because there's also stuff like the very specific demon types in Rolemaster, evil spell lists being their own thing, hybrid spell users who combine two realms of magic, and Arcane magic which is like ancient proto-magic from which all the other three types of magic come from.

[t4tozier]

starbreaker drabble under the cut :) or u can also read it on ao3 here

Jace worships on his knees.

Porter’s not a god—not yet, not yet—but Jace’s ritual castings leave his lips like a prayer. Ritual has dual meaning here; it’s the longer form of his spells, yes, but more so it’s the contents of the spell itself. It’s as if the act of believing in Porter’s godhood is its own source of the magic that powers his sorcery, an ouroboros. He still doesn’t really know where Jace’s magic comes from. He thinks it’s divine. In the literal sense, of course—but he can’t help but hope that killing him, bringing him back, tied his new blood to a new god. He wants to be the font of Jace’s power. He has to be. It’s only right; why should Jace be tied to anyone, anything, but his god?

Jace kneels in the center of the room as he casts, head bowed and voice low but measured and clear. His fingers dance through the air; they weave magic through every particle. The spell turns the air hot, thick and oppressive. It envelops Porter in its entirety, choking and soothing all at once. It feels like rage. 

Rage, Porter knows what to do with. It settles under his bones, into all of the slivers of his mind. It fuels his existing power (worthy of a deity, worthy of a following) and gives him a purpose, a drive unlike any other. Jace, on the other hand, he has a harder time accepting. He presses his fingers to Porter’s thighs, his stomach, his biceps, as if touching a statue, delicate and revering. But then, Porter bends the knee, and it feels like he’s taking his oath again. It is its own type of devotion, he thinks, as he sucks the magic off Jace’s fingertips, sweeter than devil’s honey. After all, what is a god without his followers?

Jace may not be a barbarian, but he needs the rage as much as Porter. When he’s on his back, he pushes Porter’s fingers harder against the jagged edges of the crystal in his chest, begging without words for more, more, more. Porter always gives it to him. He’ll give him anything he wants. Jace is his most loyal worshipper, from the beginning to the end. He deserves to be rewarded for his efforts. When they build temples to Porter’s exploits, weave tapestries of his rise to power, carve his story into stone, Jace will be pictured at his side—now and forever. The god and his sorcerer. Jace may not have died willingly, but with his second life comes nothing but devotion to the one who killed him in the first place. There it is again, Porter thinks. Devotion. 

The classes are more intertwined than anyone likes to think. Innate magic, innate rage. Jace may not be a cleric, either, but he worships like one. His touch is that of a believer. It feels like love. He heals Porter when the ambrosia breaks his ribs, not meant for mortal bodies, mortal blood. (Not for long.) When Jace performs his own version of Lay on Hands, pressing his palms over the other’s heart, Porter thinks he could even be a paladin. He doesn’t have the heart for it—not that Porter did, either—but when Porter clenches his fist and Jace falls to his knees, shatterstar glinting in the moonlight, the veneration with which his eyes gleam tells Porter he can devote himself just fine. More than fine, really. 

Perfect. 

[gryphonlover]

I’m in a yapping mood so I’ve come to bother you (I’m so sorry), anyways here’s how I think the chain would play BG3:

Time- he has absolutely no idea what he’s doing. He falls for every trap and he accidentally kills characters he shouldn’t have because he trusted the wrong people. He definitely played the dark urge because he thought “that one looks interesting” but didn’t fully think that choice through, and he was TRYING to be a good person but he’s absolutely given into the evil thoughts by act 2. Doesn’t even realize romancing the characters is an OPTION until Lae’zel comes up to him like “i want you” and then he screams

Wars- He’s still stuck in character creator /j Fr tho he put HOURS into designing his tav and his created like, the most conventionally attractive mf out there (it’s definitely a paladin half high elf with that ONE specific face). He’d romance Wyll (best man in existence) or Lae’zel (terrifying lady). I’d say he plays it for the dating sim but he’s also INSANE and likes attacking people

Twi- He’d play a sweet little tiefling druid. He’s just there for the vibes, he just wants to pet the owlbear cub the rest of the game stresses him out (he’s a stardew valley kinda guy). He stays in the safety of act 1 and just runs around

Sky- he takes his bg3 incredibly seriously, he has over 700 hours. I think he’d be a cleric, every single time. He’s GOOD at combat, he’d good at building the characters, he loves exploring

Hyrule- Ranger. Romanced the emperor because he thought it was funny and then had a LOT of explaining to do when Legend saw he got a trophy for that. He just makes whatever he thinks the funniest choice would be

Legend- He’s one of the few who has the strength to play a different character every play through. He loves exploring the game and he’s romanced all the characters just to see how different they all are and he loves all their lore. Has more hours than Sky but pretends he doesn’t so he doesn’t get judged for being insane

Wild- Wizard or Sorcerer, either way he blows everything up. Pickpockets all the npcs for cash because he thinks its funny, makes HORRIBLE decisions because he’s curious to see what happens. Definitely doesn’t know you can pay Withers to revive people after they die-

Four- plays the exact same dragonborn fighter every single time, but each play through he does gets crazier and crazier until he’s making INSANE decisions and everyone gets the WORST possible endings, but he’s having fun and he likes being evil

Wind- he picked to be a sorcerer, but other than that he randomized everything else and ended up playing a hot pink gnome he named “Ronald”. He’s having the time of his life

-crazylittlejester

This is the best thing I've heard ALL DAY. I'm not kidding. (And you can bother me anytime. That's why the ask ox is open. 👍)

I have to admit, I had the same reaction as Time when I discovered the dating part, and I've never even played the game. 😅

11/10, totally agree. They would love D&D so much, my goodness. Someone needs to make an LU version of that one episode of VLD where all the paladins play a one-session campaign. It would be complete chaos.

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

Grove

Three evenings with Beatrice, a half-drow war cleric of Selune, and Zevlor in the Emerald Grove. NSFW for the last section. SFW for the first two.

When the human called the very handsome tiefling a foulblood, Beatrice Wildheart knew what she was going to do.

I punched that little bastard in the face!

When the same extremely handsome tiefling introduced himself as Zevlor, Beatrice knew what was going to do.

Not my usual silent pining that always leads to heartbreak.

Not this time.

When she, Gale, Wyll, and Shadowheart returned to Zevlor and Tilses informing them that the ugly nasty bitch wanted the refugees gone, she not only offered her support in taking care of the goblins but also asked him to find her along the shore later.

And now it is “later” and where is he?

Beatrice was standing ankle-deep in the cool water, her armor discarded. She had traded one of the druids for a tank top and a pair of knee-length trousers that sort of mostly kind of fits? Whatever, better than rags.

“Greetings, Lady Beatrice Wildheart.”

A deep, gentle voice rumbled, causing Beatrice to turn around. Shit. Does word travel this fast?! Fucking hells. “Zevlor, who—”

To her surprise, he chuckled. “Word travels fast.” Of course. “Though I must beg your pardon, my lady, for not showing proper respect to a woman of your standing.”

Lady of Silver, spare me.

She shook her head, hands resting on her wide, soft hips. “Please, I like it better when I’m just Beatrice. Or Bea, my friends call me that.”

Zevlor smiled. “Am I a friend already?”

Her brown eyes widened.

Wait.

Is he flirting with me?

Should I try to flirt with him?

“I hope so!” Giggling nervously, she carefully walked out of the water, stepping back onto shore. “I mean, I did volunteer to kill goblins for you, so that must mean something.” Heat rose in her freckled cheeks as she sat down on a large rock, heart beating in her chest. Don’t fuck this up. Be bold and brave. Let the Moonmaiden guide me.

“It’s kind what you’re offering to do for my people,” he sat next to her, shoulders sagging. Selune’s tears, when was the last time he had a good night’s rest? “But why do you want to speak to me? Is there something I can help you with?”

Be brave.

Be brave.

Don’t be weird.

Moonmaiden, guide me.

Smiling softly, she turned to face him. “I want to spend some time with you. That’s all.” Maybe he won’t notice me blushing?

He did not respond to her immediately, brow furrowed. “Surely there are others more worthy of your time? More deserving?” He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. As if the weight of everything on him is too much to bear. Moonmaiden, give me the strength and wisdom to help him. He is not alone. Not anymore. “I’m well past my prime, Bea. My faith was shattered. I’m an old, broken paladin who was forced to leave his home. Surely, there are others whose company is preferable to mine?” He now looked at her, infernal eyes ablaze. The most beautiful eyes…on the most handsome face…

She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“You’re worthy of my time, Zevlor. I want…” Oh wait, maybe I can try not to come too strong but still be helpful! “Would you like to hear about Baldur’s Gate? I’m from there, and assuming you’ve never been—”

The tiefling finally returned her smile. Aww, he looks a bit happier. Moonmaiden, give me some charisma to charm him…or something. “Correct, my dear. I would like that very much.”

For the next hour, she told him nearly everything she knew about the city, its inhabitants, and tradition. The Gate is home. It’s a bit shit but it’s home. When she began to explain the noble houses, he shifted the conversation to her---her family (obviously explained that I was adopted), friends (lots of them all over Faerun), her profession (I felt the call to protect and serve Selune by smiting the enemies of light), and then…

“There must be a special someone waiting for you back in the Gate.”

A statement.

Not a question.

As if it’s fact.

Oh dear.

She shook her vigorously. “No, no. It’s been a…saga of sorts trying to find a match for me.” Beatrice then added quickly, “A love match, I need to emphasize. Mum would never support anything less.” And Da, gods rest him. “But it’s complicated.”

Zevlor blinked. “I-I…why, if I may ask?”

You have got to be kidding.

A bitter laugh escaped her. “I’m the large half-drow daughter of a dwarven countess. That is, quite literally, the problem.” She squeezed her eyes shut, her shoulders tensing. “It’s been made very clear that I’m not what anyone wants for a partner or wife or anything romantic really.” Mum cannot raise my dowry enough. I’m just…undesirable. But maybe not to him? A girl can hope, right?

“I will not deny that there are prejudices against drow, which certainly play a role in your situation. However,” he’s grabbing my hand?!?!? “I find you to be beautiful, brave, kindhearted, and of excellent character.” With his other hand, he tilted her chin slightly so he could admire her, lightly tracing her jaw with a finger. “There should be dozens, if not hundreds, of suitors vying for your hand. If I were a few decades younger,” Zevlor smiled sadly, now caressing her blushing cheek. “I would be as well.”

“Please don’t say that.” Da always said to listen to my heart because it would never lead me astray. Heart says… “I like you. A lot. I think you’re all those things too. I…I hope we can have time together like this again soon. We’re heading back out tomorrow, but we’ll be around to trade and rest and…” Beatrice trailed off, her brown eyes watching his thumb gently touch her bottom lip. “Zevlor?” she whispered.

For the first time since meeting him, the paladin genuinely smiled. “Waking gods,” he cupped face and leaned so that his forehead met hers. “I’d given up on them sending me an angel, but here you are.” He can’t just say things like that and not expect me to get misty eyed. “Are you certain? I’m no prize—”

Beatrice released an annoyed huff before kissing him. The kiss did not last long but to her, served its purpose. “I don’t mind.” She said sweetly before giving one another peck. “Are you certain?”

His hands landed on her waist, squeezing gently as if I’m made of glass. Zevlor, I’m not… “Though I don’t feel deserving of your affection, I would be a fool to refuse it. A fool to deny it. I am certain, my darling.” When his lips next captured hers, the kiss was far more intense. Clawed fingers danced under the hem of her top but stayed at her thick waist. “I am very certain.”

So certain that when Beatrice’s party returned a day and a half later, he brought a bouquet of wildflowers he picked for her at our spot.

That little hidden place along the shore at the grove. It’s our spot now.

***

“May I tell you something?” Beatrice whispered, sitting in our spot with Zevlor the night after she recruited Karlach to her party. They sat side by side on a large stone, bare feet in the cool water. Her head was resting against his, and he snaked an arm around her broad shoulders.

“You can tell me anything, darling. What troubles you?”

Gods, where to start?

No.

Focus.

“I told you I felt like I was called to serving My Lady, but I’m not like most clerics you’ve met I bet.” She chuckled softly and reached for his free hand. “I’m not one to proselytize. I prefer using a great sword to attack and protect instead of healing. My temple would send me to besieged enclaves and villages, and I’d…well, get rid of their problems.” Beatrice wrinkled her nose and giggled. “It was a good time. I was doing a lot of good.” Then. “Then Da got sick, I came home, it was terminal, three years later he’s gone, and I…” Squeezing his hand, tears down her freckled, pale ash face. “The Moonmaiden told me to be a light in the darkness, but I feel like I…I’m not doing enough.”

Zevlor shifted, turning to face her and taking both her hands in his. “You,” he carefully lifted one hand, placed a kiss on her knuckles, and repeated the gesture with her other hand. “Are far too hard on yourself.” They both shared a small laugh with him rubbing his rough thumbs over her hands. “While I’m not entirely impartial,” There’s that lovely little teasing smile I adore. “I’ve no doubt that there are many in this grove, as well as those in your temple, who would say you’re doing wonderfully.” She opened her mouth to protest, but he silenced her with an all too brief kiss. “I’ve never met anyone whose soul burns as brightly as yours, my dear---that is all you. Not Selune. You.” Follow my heart. It will never lead me astray. “So please, my beautiful Bea, be kind to yourself.”

But I’ve never been kind to myself, have I?

Not when some of the trainee war clerics called me a fat, useless drow.

Not when I’ve been politely and less than politely rejected by potential suitors.

Not when Da got sick and I couldn’t save him…

Not when Lewson got murdered by bloody Zhents.

Not when I got abducted.

Not when…

As he pulled her into a tender embrace, she felt herself practically melting into him. “Shh, quiet your mind. Stay right here with me, darling.” That’s his tail wrapping around my waist. He is so sweet. “Don’t let the weight of your own high expectations crush you. Don’t let it dim your light.”

“I’ll try, but you must promise me something in return.” When she heard him hum in assent, she smiled. “Be kinder to yourself too. You’re doing the best you can out of a frankly awful situation, Zevlor.” And that’s putting it mildly. She leaned back and cupped his face in her hands. “You deserve happiness. We deserve happiness. Don’t we?”

That night he did not answer her.

But I’m confident he will. We do deserve happiness, Zev. We do.

***

“A pity for us you have promised your body to Zevlor.”

Beatrice’s eyes widened as Lae’zel continued to speak about trophies? Bodies? Lips?????

“—I intend to, myself. Wyll looks particularly promising.”

And that’s my cue to get the fuck out of this conversation.

She giggled nervously, wished Lae’zel a good evening, and then she nearly knocked him over as she walked away from the gith.

“Oh, Bea! How nice to see you.” He winked adorably as he sipped wine I’m assuming. Not that I drink… “Are you enjoying yourself this evening?”

“Yes,” mostly. That interaction with Lae’zel was something else. Her fingers brushed against his free hand, and she took a step closer. “And you?”

“With you, I couldn’t be happier.” A knowing smile tugged on his lips as he sipped his wine. “Once things die down, my dear, shall we meet in the Secluded Chamber? It’s more…private than our usual place.”

More private so we can…maybe…perhaps…

FUCK?!?!?

Wait no, Zevlor doesn’t fuck. He makes love.

And no, I didn’t read that in a romance novel.

I read it in several romance novels.

Feeling her cheeks burn in a mix of desire and anticipation, she nodded quickly. “Sounds perfect. I, um, I can slip away soon.” The only person I want to talk to for the rest of the night is you. Only you.

A low hum escaped him as he led her towards the edge of the party. “Meet me in fifteen minutes.” Zevlor murmured, bringing her hand to his lips. Sharing one last longing so much longing look, he turned and departed the camp.

Luckily for Beatrice, fifteen minutes went by fast. Got a pep talk from Karlach who told me to “fuck his brains out” and “pull his damn tail” while also showing him “who the real Hellrider is.” Quick little wash because no one wants a stinky lady in bed, right? And it’s not like I have my favorite perfume in the middle of nowhere.

When she arrived at the Secluded Chamber, she nearly gasped at the sight of Zevlor. In all their meetings along the shore, he was always in his armor, refusing to remove it even when she was always wearing something comfortable.

But now…

He looks so yummy.

He greeted her wearing a cream tunic, dark brown breeches that show off his legs MOONMAIDEN TAKE ME, and worn but still nice shoes. “Dearest,” he began with a tender smile. “I hope it wasn’t too difficult for you to leave. After all, everyone wanted a word the hero of the hour.” Gods that wink again. “That she would grace me with her presence…I’m an incredibly fortunate man.”

“The feeling’s mutual.” She swayed her hips as she walked to him, warmth blossoming within her. One look from him, and I feel desired. For the first time in my life, I feel desired. And I… Standing in front of him but having no idea what to do, she wrapped long arms around his neck and kissed him. “I want…” Beatrice whispered, her brown eyes meeting his infernal ones. Just say it. Say it. There’s no shame in wanting this. In wanting him. “Can we…” Spit. It. Out. She squeezed her eyes shut in frustration. “Sorry, I’m nervous. It’s my first time.” WHY DID YOU SAY THAT, BEA? WHY? HE KNOWS.

“We don’t have to be intimate tonight if you’re this nervous—”

Her eyes widened as she quickly reassured him. “No. No. I…I…” Breathe. “You may not like what you see.”

It was at this moment Beatrice saw his expression shift from concern to molten. Hot. Smoldering. Moonmaiden preserve me. “If you allow it, my lady,” his already gravelly voice was much lower. “I will show you just how much I like what I see.”

She knew that too often she thought too much.

Not this time.

Barely a second passed when she released a breathy “yes please,” and his hands found their way to her ample behind, cupping and squeezing. His lips crashed into hers, and he moaned in her mouth. “Zev…”

That earned her another moan. “Been too long…since a lover called me that…” Her hands roamed to his narrow waist and slowly, carefully went under his shirt. Gods, he feels incredible. Muscle. Warm skin. Ridges. Bumps. Scars. I love them. I love them all. I want to— “You make me feel young again.”

No.

Beatrice slipped out of his grasp, giggling. “I’ll make you a deal, Zev. You don’t talk about how you’re old and I won’t say I’m ugly.”

And to really put this matter to rest…

“Darling, I…” His eyes widened as what he was going to say died on his lips. “I…”

She threw off her shirt, tossing it near a chair? We can sort it later. Fighting the urge to cover her breasts, she instead focused on untying the laces on her trousers. “What’s the matter, love? Cat got your tongue?” She hoped her teasing tone would distract him (and me) from the hammering of her heart. He likes this. I think? I hope?

As she stepped out of her smalls and pants, Zevlor continued to watch her, unmoving except for his wagging tail. He…does like how I look? “You are enchanting. Stunning. So beautiful.” In two strides he reached her and led her to a pair of bedrolls on a stone slab. Aw, he lit candles too. That’s so sweet. “Now, be a dear and lie down.”

HE JUST PINCHED MY BUTT?!?!?

Something between a surprise yelp and a giggle escaped her as she scrambled onto bedrolls not at all gracefully.

“What a sweet, eager little thing you are.” He cooed, kicking off his shoes.

Beatrice snorted as her head hit a somewhat soft pillow. “I’m not little, love.” Leaning to prop herself up on her elbows, she watched, slack jawed as Zevlor discarded his shirt (yummy) and trousers (NO SMALLS?!?! HE JUST…WALKS AROUND LIKE THAT?!?!). She panted at the sight of him and his incredibly hard, ridged cock, swallowing thickly.

His eyes twinkled as he crawled to her. “What’s the matter, Bea?” With his breathtakingly handsome face inches from hers, weight on his strong forearms, he teased, “Cock got your tongue?” The resulting squeak from her as she wrapped her long arms around his neck made him chuckle. “Don’t play innocent with me, my angel. I saw you gawking. Leering. Staring.” With each word, his lips touched hers.

Into one of the kisses, she smiled wide, her hands threading through his hair and loosened it. “Admiring is the word I prefer to use. Admiring my beautiful paladin and his very large cock.” I can tease too, love. “Zev, ah, want you…” Beatrice moaned, rolling her soft hips. Want you. Need you. Now.

“Patience, dearest. Want this to last, and more importantly,” he pressed several kisses down her jaw to her neck and then settled with his mouth above one of her breasts. “Worship you.” Moonmaiden take me. He licked and suckled her with abandon, his own hips grinding against her. This is already better than anything I could’ve imagined. Already so good, and we’re not even—

She inhaled sharply when she felt the rough pad of one of his fingers touch the curls at the apex of her thick thighs. “Oh gods…”

“You are so lovely,” the older tiefling panted, lifting his head from one breast before eyeing the other. Oh dear, that’s his tail around my leg. Selune save me. “Everything about you…you are perfect. Simply perfect.” His tongue circled the nipple on her opposite breast while her hands found the base of his horns. “Do whatever you wish, pulchra. Love me however you please. I would know…all of you…” After he lavished her other breast, he trailed kisses down her belly (Moonmaiden, was it my imagination or was he kneading me like dough? If so, that was amazing and he needs to do it more often) and then rose on his knees between her legs. “May I taste you, my love?” His hands rested on her soft thighs, and she could not help but smile at the look of adoration in his eyes.

She did, however, raise an eyebrow. “Pulchra?” It’s Infernal. Not sure about the meaning though.

Zevlor’s cheeks reddened. “It’s Infernal for ‘beautiful woman’ but for a gentleman of my vintage it means ‘mistress.’”

Okay, now I’m even more confused. “Mistress?”

He cleared his throat. “Well, I cannot call you uxor. We are not married.”

OH.

“Pulchra it is then, and…yes. Please. Do wha—” Instead of finishing her thought, Zevlor dove into her, easily lifting her legs over his shoulders and tasting her as he promised. “Oh gods please…please…”

“There are no gods here, pulchra. Only me.” He grunted, continuing his ministrations. The feel of his horns against me as he’s eating me out…there are no words.

Beatrice did not know how much time had passed when he stopped and adjusted himself. “Zev?” she panted, letting go of his horns. Turns out I really love fucking his face.

Responding only with a smirk, he lowered his head and began to lick her swollen bud.

WHAT IS THAT?!?!

She immediately tensed, and Zevlor squeezed her thighs. “Easy, pulchra. That’s just my tail. Come…tail first then my cock…”

Oh. Oh wow. This is happening.

The only coherent reply she could manage was moaning his name along with “please” and “more.” As she quickly reached her peak, she felt his nails digging in her thighs slightly, which only made her more aroused. “Zev…please…want to…want…”

Then something inside her snapped, and she fell apart on his tongue. Small gasps escaped her, her ample chest heaving.

“That’s it, my darling…such a good girl…” Moonmaiden take me. With a grunt, he crawled over her and lined his achingly hard member towards her entrance. “We’ll go slow, pulchra. I won’t hurt you.”

“Show him who the real Hellrider is, soldier.”

Beatrice’s eyes widened as she touched his shoulders. “Can I be on top? If that’s okay?”

He exhaled sharply, nodding and laying on his back. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” Zevlor watched as she less than elegantly straddled him. “Careful, sweetheart. Don’t want you falling over.”

“I think you’ve realized by now that sometimes I’m not the most graceful person.” She chuckled, settling over his swollen length. With his hands firmly on her wide hips, she began to slowly lower herself. Fuck me, he’s thick. A lot thicker than he looks. Hells. “Zev…”

Whatever he was saying though, she could not understand.

Infernal.

Holy fuck.

Moaning as she took him inch by torturous but glorious inch, laughed breathlessly. “What’d you say?”

“Ah, so fucking tight, pulchra. Queen of my heart, have me…all of me…I am yours for as long as—ah, oh waking gods!” Zevlor gasped when her pelvis met his.

He’s got ridges on his…and on his?!?? YES!

Rocking her hips, she rode him with abandon.

I feel alive…

And beautiful…

Because of my paladin…

She threw her head back as she reached her second peak, her hands gripping his harder than I do the Everburn Blade. “I love you! I fucking love you! I love you, Zev!” Panting, Beatrice’s broad shoulders slumped as he thrusted inside her, his hips stuttering.

“Pulchra…my angel…I-I…I love you, my darling…”

Moonmaiden take me, that groan from him!

Zevlor let out an oomph when she collapsed onto his chest, his strong arms wrapping around her. One clawed hand rested on her back while the other cradled the back of her head. “Bea? Are you alright?” He whispered, gently caressing her.

“Yeah.” She sighed and then muttered a spell to clean them. Gods, even soft, he’s huge. “You? Was I okay?”

As she rolled off him, he chuckled. “Okay? My dear, the way you were riding me,” he placed a kiss in her black-red curls when she curled against his side. “I’d say you’re the Hellrider, not me.”

YES! YES! YES! MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! I DID IT, KARLACH!

She traced the ridges on his chest and giggled. “Gods, you’re too much, love.” Laying in his arms and feeling sleep take her, shit, I should tell him I meant it. Just in case. “When I said I love you before, I meant it. I love you, and I…I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. And I know that there’s still much ahead, for both of us, but I want this. I want you. That is, if you even want—”

He squeezed the pillowy part of her upper arm. “Are we still not mentioning my age?” Zevlor teased. Oh for fuck’s sake. You. Are. Not. Old. “I do want you, pulchra.” He heaved a sigh. “Protecting my people must come first. That’s been my priority---my mission---for most of my life.” This sounds decidedly not good. He once again squeezed her arm and reached for her hand on his chest, bringing it to his lips. “But we deserve happiness, do we not? After everything that’s happened…everything that is still to come…we deserve happiness, and I firmly believe I’ve found it with you.” I’m gonna cry. I’m gonna cry so much. “I love you too, dearest.” He raised her hand to his lips again and placed another tender kiss on her knuckles. “Gods willing, we make it to Baldur’s Gate hale and whole.”

Her eyes fluttered closed as she prayed silently.

Moonmaiden, I have served as your righteous fury. I have cut down the enemies of light. I have protected many.

I beg of you, Lady of Silver, keep him safe.

Keep them all safe.

[alpydk]

A Prayer for Gale

A little blurb (500+ words) that I felt like writing (couldn't find a witty retort @auroraesmeraldarose) - I don't know why but my Tav's pray for Gale. I've never thought about it before. I'm not religious, Nana hates the gods, and yet this seems...instinctual, like why wouldn't you do anything you could to save him and protect him? Anyway, made me emotional... So have a blurb.

Tav sat under the gnarled oak as the sun rose over what was left of Reithwin Town. The campsite lay not far from his location, the tents quiet as their inhabitants slept off the exhaustion of the previous night. The shadow curse had been lifted and a tentative breeze made its way between torn banners. A gentle flicker of the lantern lights that had been dimmed for so long brought a life back to the world around him. He clenched his hands in front of him, dirt and dried blood still present from the battle the night before, one that would scar not only his body, but his mind for years to come.  

“I thank you for one more moment where he is at my side. He is so pure, a star in the blackened night sky and one I hope to see shine all the brighter.”

The words were whispered, an anxiousness to say them out loud and yet not be heard by his travelling companions. Tav was no cleric, no paladin following the oath of the gods; no, he was just someone grateful to have found love. He would fight with swords and magic, would try to persuade even the most ruthless of enemies to give up their ways, but he also knew that sometimes fate was out of his control. Life could be snuffed out in an instance, a candle flame put out without hesitation, his love taken from him without mercy. And so, to prevent this, he would do anything, even if that meant praying.

“I ask for his hope, that it does not falter. That he finds his way through the darkness, and he returns home, his heart free to live again. I pray he finds happiness, that poetry flows from his parted lips once more, that he knows what it is to love without restraint...”

Tav thought of their night together, of the orb stabilised, but its markings a constant reminder of the sword that hung by a thread. He did not want to think of the battles ahead as the words spilled out, of the tadpole that devoured him, of what his love had spoken of not so long before they’d tried to leap from the precipice: a goddess’ request and one ultimate penance. Should that unfortunate time come, they would go together; that much Tav had decided, loneliness no longer the burden either of them should have to carry. He sighed, glancing up at the heavens, a deep longing to be heard, if only for what he was to say last.  

“Please protect him from what is to come. Keep him safe from harm, and should the worst come to pass, should our stars be blotted out by darkened fortunes, guide his soul to astral seas where he can finally find peace.”

There was no knowing if any of the gods heard his words that day, or if they would hear them on any of the other mornings to follow. But Tav never stopped praying for Gale. The hope that those words would mean something one day, even if it was just to be guidance over astral seas.

[theaviskullguy]

D&D Obey me- Lucifer, Mammon, + The Twins!

@trash-opposum here you go. seperate post so people can find it but here!

Disclaimer, if i do the rest, im going to avoid making EVERYONE a tiefling or aasimar, those are just for who i think are exceptionally appropriate/is how im playing them as my current dnd character is just Belphegor. If yall want me to make the others (Asmo, Levi, Satan, maybe Diavlo but who knows) let me know!

so let's GOOOOOOOO

Lucifer

Aasimar, the kind from Mordenkainen so no special extra type

Noble background, mainly cause i cant think of anything else

As for class, we have four potential options

Two varieties of Paladin, cleric, or warlock

First paladin variety- Oathbreaker

In this case he was probably originally Devotion before the revolution, and whoops! Oath Broken!

It'd either be a point of pride for him ("I fought for what I believe is right, and there is no shame in that") or he'd hide it from everyone

Second paladin- order of the Crown! obviously because of Diavlo. fellas is it gay to swear undying devotion to your future ki- *gets shot*

Cleric, then Order Domain. clerics are sworn to gods and not demons but shush his patron might still be Diavlo. in an actual D&D setting i can see him instead swearing to like Tyr or something.

he wont be healing. clerics are tanky he's out here ordering people to drop their weapons and then fucking murdering them

Warlock, gotta be fiend patron. im not sure if its possible to be your own patron but itd be funny as shit. worse case its fiend patron with some flavor homebrew as i call it to literally just be a fiend in his own right climbing the infernal ladder as he levels up

i promise the others wont be as long

Mammon

Earth Genasi as those are descended from the Dao, which are the greediest genie. Also, they just look rich with gem-like stuff growing in cracks on their skin you just know Mammon's one of them

Charlatan background. he is scamming people left and right and it works

Rogue, thief subclass. Honestly any subclass other than Arcane Trickster (hes not smart enough) or Scout (hes not equipped for the "outside of civilization" shit)

Unlike for Lucifer, the others have Backstory! Woo!

Mammon is the son of a Dao and a human. His human parent helped him escape from the Elemental Plane of Earth, but then he was left on his own

So. He quickly learned how to con people. At first it was for survival, and then greed.

He found Lucifer while running one of these cons. In particular, his "con" was a vanishing act. He claimed he could become "one with the earth" when really he was curling up on the ground and casting Pass Without Trace. Lucifer saw through this illusion and threatened to out Mammon as a conman, unless he joined him as his ally. So, he did.

Lucifer keeps him in check, but that's not to say Mammon isn't fully on the straight and narrow

Beelzebub

Tiefling!!! variant tiefling favored to have fly wings.

Outlander background, ill explain why in a sec

Barbarian. Need I say More?

actually i will- Totem animal, spirit of the bear. Since bear gets resistance to all damage (other than psychic) while raging and i feel that works with Beel more than anything

now for his backstory! he isnt canon in the campaign im playing belphie in but his backstory has the same catalyst. When he was five years old, the kingdom he lived in was caught in a rebellion against a tyrant. In which, Beel saw his older sister get killed by a royal guard. Belphie was going to be killed- but was protected by a tiefling in a knight's armor (my previous character who was killed. rip avi)

Beel, in his five-year-old mind, just ran. He took off without a second thought- a decision he now regrets deeply.

He ran into the surrounding woodlands. And gets an Atalanta-style backstory. For those who dont know, Atalanta was a princess who was abandoned in the woods and raised by bears

So Beel is raised by bears. Which is way better than being raised by wolves

They teach him how to hunt, gather, and its all well and cute. He sometimes entered the rebuilding kingdom to trade in leftover meat for clothes and weapons- and, to try and find Belphie. No luck.

Eventually, Beel grows to be a powerful warrior. Hangry, sure, but his rage hold the rage of freaking bears. so keep him fed. please.

Anyways Lucifer and the gang (everyone minus belphie) encounter Beel in the woods, watching the cubs. Beel agrees to adventure with them. He says goodbye to bear mom and promises to visit- hopefully, with his twin, next time.

Belphegor

hehe its ME

Zariel Tiefling but i dont give a shit about the infernal legacy its just There. tail is a cow's tail he basically just looks like his demon form

Hermit background. again ill explain in a sec

Druid, circle of stars! to people about to scream "i just checked the wikidot why he no circle of dreams??" because that doesnt have to do with dreams and sleep as i wished it did. its the obligatory faewild subclass. i hate the faewild subclasses (other than the bard one that ones fun)

Currently n the campaign im in we're level 5, so his two wildshapes are wolf, and a bull. But he also has his three starry forms due to being circle of stars.

now. backstory! strap in this is Long

he's saved by my previous dnd character- Avi- and is taken in by him and his husband when the rebellion was over.

Except. due to seeing his sister die and not seeing his twin after that, Belphie assumed the worse and thought that Beel also died and he was the last one of his family

He fell into a pretty deep depression and had no motivation to do anything besides sleep, cry, and eat very tiny portions of meals.

eventually his adoptive dads start telling him stories. and. surprisingly. they seem to help! Belphie is still a shrinking violet but he eats more and can cook and do basic chores!

And Then Avi Goes Missing

His husband- Skull- asks the now 11 year old Belphie if he wants to come along to find him. Belphie declines, saying he needs to get in control of his life and some big quest is probably just gonna leave him with more trauma

Skull lets him stay home, and gives him one of his feathers. So if Belphie ever needs a hand, he can call Skull over and. well. have one of his dads at least

For five years, Belphie took to studying druidcraft, and the stars. He also enchanted his favorite pillow to float and be able to carry him. So he had a little more comfort when going out to buy groceries. He'd make detailed star maps to sell in return

When the sun rose on his 16th birthday, he left a note at home saying he felt ready to tackle his own destiny, and left.

He had a brush with Lucifer, but not Beel. so close, buddy.

Anyways he arrives at The Hunters Guild, finds his parents again, and takes residence in the observatory, where he studies his stars and druid magic again. But also, sleep and dreams.

and. yeah thats where we leave off! god that was long im sorry

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 38 - Gatekeep

Bite Night 2: Astarion is trying his best but you have the romantic awareness of a potato.

On AO3.

Y’all do not find the demon woman by the time evening rolls around. Wyll curses as the crickets chirp into twilight; stares out at the forest as y’all set up camp. You leave him be—comforting others ain’t your strong suite (you mostly just stand there all awkward because shows are liars and actually saying “there there” pisses people off more than it helps).

Shadowheart swings by to run her jesus hands over you again.

“You still feel stable,” she says.

You nod. Pause a moment, considering. Then, “You’re a cleric, yeah? Like, tied to a god or something?”

Her expression doesn’t budge from the cool neutrality she usually wears. “That’s what clerics are, yes. Why?”

You don’t know what you’re talking about. This world and its customs are fucking foreign as hell. Still. Something shivers in the back of your brain (not the worm this time, which seems to be dozing).

“Paladins are kinda the same? That one back there mentioned Tyr.”

She almost rolls her eyes. “The Lord of Justice. Paladins are sworn to their gods or goddesses. But they’re strictly fighters.”

Shadowheart carries a mace and seems real cozy bashing in skulls with it. You got an idea what that makes a cleric, but you also realize you don’t know which god she’s all cozy with (the concept makes your skin crawl).

“Who do you, uh, serve?” you say, totally suppressing the helpful urge to sneer.

That coolness freezes solid. “We’re all stuck together for the benefit of working as a group. But we barely know each other, and we’re all entitled to our own business.”

Oof. Some kinda sore spot.

You back down. “Sorry, didn’t mean to pry. I just…would you be able to tell? If those guys was, if there was something weird?”

Now she frowns. “Weird?”

Actual gods with real people as their servants (again, you smother your grimace). You don’t know shit, do you?

“Nevermind,” you say. “I just…this is all real new. Sorry to bother you and for, y’know, getting too personal. Won’t happen again.”

The ice around her seems to thaw just a touch. She gives a sharp nod. “Alright. And…thank you. For respecting my privacy.”

Which leaves you at Lae’zel’s tender mercies before bed.

You manage an actual push up.

***

So you’re flying pretty high as you drag your ass to your tent. Half the camp is bedded down for the night. Lae’zel—completely unfazed by running your ass into the dirt without so much as a hair out of place or a bead of sweat on her skin—takes first watch.

The spacing arrangement has definitely gelled; seems you’re assigned to the desk next to Astarion for this quarter. He lounges on his back amidst a pile of pillows—where in the hell did he pick up more of them? As you draw near, he sits up and spins around to face you.

“Hello, darling,” he says. “Always a pleasure to see you sauntering over.”

“Tripping, actually,” you say. You reach for your tent flap. The white of his hair and his shirt glow in your peripheral, and you stop. He stares at you. Expectantly.

…right. Blood.

“Oh, um,” you say. Pause.

“You don’t have to, of course,” he says. “I’ve gone much longer in between meals.”

You fucking forgot. There’s no solid reason for your hesitation, except that this is a change in plans (your fault) and that always wigs you out and having time to mentally prepare (lips, lips) would have been nice.

But you did offer. And he’s waited for you. It’d be bad manners to leave him hanging.

“It’s fine,” you say. Look around. Gale and Wyll are in their tents. Lae’zel stalks the perimeter, and Shadowheart kneels outside her own tent. She looks at you. Her judgment is just as potent at sixty yards. “You wanna take this inside?”

His grin spreads slow and syrupy. “My dear, there’s nothing I’d like more.”

You don’t got much in the way of decoration. Just your bedroll and your pack. You pause a second inside; there ain’t enough room to stand upright. This’d probably be a two-sleeper tent back home. But you got no seats or cushions. Hospitality dictates you let Astarion sit on your bedroll, as the guest.

He ducks in after you, and the tent seems a lot smaller. Y’all are gonna have to sit criss-cross applesauce. Knees touching.

Oh jesus.

“Um.” You clear your throat. “Go ahead and take a seat.”

You busy yourself lighting the small lantern you scrounged up using the (thank FUCK) matches y’all also found. It’s enough light to see his features clear when you turn and find him stooped there, watching you.

“And where will you be, darling?” he says.

You will not clear your throat again. You will not act like some awkward twenty-year-old climbing into a boy’s car for the first time. You are a goddamn adult human and humans touch each other all the time. He’s (sucked) touched your neck before. What you have in mind is far less intimate than that. This whole thing is a casual act born of necessity.

Touching other people is fucking normal.

You just ain’t…used to it.

“I thought it might be easier to control the bleeding if you bit my wrist,” you say. It’s just practicality. Nothing else. Certainly not you being shy all the sudden. Has got nothing to do with the feel of his cool tongue on your fucking neck. Nothing at all.

“Ah,” he says. Gaze flicks down your arm. “If that’s how you’d prefer it. Though, as I’m sure you’re aware, I don’t have, ahem, as much experience with that.”

The blind leading the blind. It’d be funny if you weren’t so full of the heeby-jeebies.

“You wanna try?” you say.

He looks at you. Goddamn, he’s hard to read when he wants to be. Then his usual smile slots into place and his eyelids drop and you struggle not to roll your eyes as he says, “I’m willing to try a lot of things with you.”

Jesus lord on a pogo stick. You turn away to let the eyes roll freely; disguise it as lowering yourself to sit on the grass beneath you. Your bad knee has been acting up worse than usual. It pops as you settle, which makes Astarion pause.

“’M fine,” you say and start to roll up your left sleeve. You wore your worst-off shirt for Lae’zel���s nightly beat down. Won’t hurt if you get more blood on it.

Astarion settles in next to you. Facing you, rather. But that angle won’t work very well, so you turn and shuffle a bit until you’re side-to-side, sort of staring past the other.

You got all the gear this time, too. A shirt you tore apart and washed (in boiling water) for bandages, water, apples, and a goddamn healing potion.

“I won’t take as much this time,” Astarion says.

You nod. There’s no protocol for this, so you lift up your arm and hold it straight out.

He takes it. You expect that. It has to happen; how else is he gonna bite you? Lunge teeth-first, like a dog?

Still.

Cool fingers glide over your forearm, across your palm. You blink fast, but refuse to let your face so much as twitch. Keep your hand and arm steady but pliable, just like you do when a doctor is taking your pulse and blood pressure.

He brings your arm up as his head ducks down. Hovers over your wrist a moment; cool air brushes you as he exhales through his nose and your rebellious skin erupts into goosebumps.

“Sorry,” you say before he can pull some shit. “Tickles.”

He gives you a sly glance out of the corner of his eye. Shithead. Then he presses his lips to your inner wrist.

He holds you like that a moment. His lips certainly are soft and cool. You’re pretty sure every muscle on your frame pulls tight. Then he moves. And it ain’t to bite. He brushes those lips over you, slightly parted, up and down. You’re about to ask what in the hell he’s doing, when he twists your arm to change the position and, apparently, finds (through scent? Touch? Vampire bullshit?) the right spot.

His lips pull back. His brow wrinkles. His pupils are huge and dilated, even for the low light.

His teeth sink in. The pain is sharper, this time. Probably because you see it coming. Twin fangs pierce your skin, sink into muscles. Your arm tries to jerk back, but his grip tightens to bruising.

You gasp. Jerk. Will yourself not to fucking move, because his teeth are buried in your wrist and there’s tendons and ligaments in there.

Then his fangs are out, and his lips come down and seal around the wound.

This time, you can see his face. See the way his eyes roll back. His lids flutter shut. He makes a soft sound against you, low and guttural and for some reason, your face starts to burn.

You tear your gaze away. Do your best to stare at the blue canvas of your tent.

The pain throbs into that pleasant numbness as before. The rest of you relaxes as nerves stop shrieking in alarm. He’s not pulling this time—thank god. Seems content to hold you, grip eased, and lap at it.

Which means that sure is his tongue against you. Again.

You wonder what the thread count is on canvas here in Faerun. Light shines through it, but you ain’t sure about water. Might have to find a magical tarp the next time it storms—

He’s still making sounds. They’re soft. You don’t hear them, not really. But the vibration thrums against your wrist. Short, tiny things. Moans. It don’t seem voluntary. His eyelids still flutter like he’s trying to open them and can’t. He takes a particularly wet suckle, and that pops him free.

He lifts up a second to pant. His lips and teeth are coated in red. A dribble runs down his chin and his nostrils flare.

Your wounds immediately stream. You manage a single “um” before he pulls your arm up so he can lick a strip back up with a groan, and seals his mouth over it again and suck in a gasp through his nose.

And that’s when the numbness…twists, somehow. Morphs a bit. Instead of throbbing nothing, there’s a feel of…heat? A kind of euphoria. Gentle, right now—you really want to sigh and fall backwards—but it seems to be building where his lips touch you. On the prodding of his tongue between the punctures, encouraging more blood to flow. You can almost feel your blood in him. The throb melding with your heartbeat filling his mouth, filling him. The two of you connected in a way you can barely comprehend, and heat blooms between your legs—

Oh motherfucker, he’s got aphrodisiac spit??!

“Astarion,” you say.

He’s not as lost in the sauce this time. He hums. Takes a last slurp and then pulls away. Snatches up one of the rags you set aside for this and clamps it down hard over your wrist.

You hiss. He doesn’t let up. His hands have turned into a vice. Fucker’s gonna bruise tomorrow.

“Lift your arm a little, darling,” he says and you do.

“Didn’t know you knew wound care,” you say. You’re a touch lightheaded, but you ain’t dizzy. Tired and thirsty, mostly.

“In my line of work, you pick up a few things,” he says. And sucks his teeth. His tongue moves around in his mouth (it was just on your skin) as he laps up all traces of your blood.

“So you just didn’t the first time you bit me?”

He turns. Pupils still dilated and if that doesn’t send some kind of prey animal shudder down your spine.

“You told me you did this all the time, little donor.”

“Not through a bite on the neck. And with vampire spit to deal with.”

He shrugs. “As I said, I’ve never had to keep a snack alive.”

The pressure hasn’t wavered. You fully cannot feel your fingers anymore. “Well, thank you. For learning.”

He blinks. Has that weird look you can’t place. Then he, as usual, buries it with smarm. “It has been an absolute pleasure, darling.”

And then he’s leaning in, face all intent, gaze locked on you. A static charge seems to fill the air and your brain starts flipping levers to dump some kinda panic chemicals into your bloodstream. His face is so focused, even as his lids come down and he is entirely too close.

You panic. You ain’t even sure why. Lift your free hand and jab him in the nose and say, “honk” because your brain is a loser and you are a loser and what the fuck, why the fuck is that what you went with??!

Astarion jerks back like you slapped him, the very picture of a pissed off cat. “Excuse you?”

Which send you jerking back because you pushed it too far. Got too weird. Fucked this up and misread something and got too forward a-fucking-gain.

“Sorry!” you say. “I was just, I don’t know, um! I was joking and I’m sorry.”

The two of you sit there, hackles raised, and stare at each other for a long moment. Until he (mercifully) blinks first and smooths his ruffled feathers back down.

“I can’t saw I’ve ever garnered that reaction before,” he says. Studies you, and then looks away (you try hard not to cringe). Then he notices his hands are empty, because you both pulled away.

“Right,” you say and take over pressure duty—the rag has absorbed quite a bit of blood, but when you risk a peek underneath, the wounds only ooze sluggishly.

Awkward silence fills the tent. You can’t go anywhere (and it’s your tent), and he seems kind of stuck on what to do now (how bad did you just fuck this up).

So you reach for your favorite tool: changing the motherfucking subject. “Can I ask you something?”

He finally notices the smear of blood on his chin as is in the process of fastidiously wiping it clean with his fingers and sucking those into his mouth.

You want to ask him about the paladins, but another question comes barreling into your brain and it sounds like a much more bonding topic anyway.

“You remember how I asked what blood tasted like to you?” you say. When he looks over, “I want to experiment with that, if you’re okay with it. Now that I know I can do this kinda regular.”

He wears the most deadpan expression when he says, “Ah, the vampire fetish appears at last.”

“What? No. People do that? No, no, nothing weird. It’s just, you only eat blood and I can’t tell the difference, but you can. So what if we varied up the taste? If I even can? So you can have different things, sorta, too?”

His eyebrow arches at a pace you can only describe as glacial.

“Like, if the next time I donate, say I eat a bunch of fruit. Or apples, really, since that all we ever find. Get them sugars into my blood and see how that comes across to you?”

“And whyever would you do that?”

Well shit, he makes it sound so stupid. Maybe you ought to bury the idea outright. But you notice while the others tolerate him, they ain’t inviting him in for dinner, and you don’t like seeing people left out. And while he’s an asshole, there’s a level of charm to him. He kinda pings on your level, so to speak.

“We all get to eat lots of things,” you say, going with earnestness and hoping he don’t toss it back in your face. “Might as well see if you can benefit off that?”

He don’t say nothing for a while. A long while. It starts to turn uncomfortable, and you’re considering forfeiting your tent and ducking out into the night.

When he says, “”Well, it’s your blood, darling. If you want to tinker around like that, far be it from me to stop you.”

You start to relax. Peace and good feelings restored.

And then, because it’s Astarion and he’s a shithead, he leers in and says, “Though if you truly want to know what you taste like, I know of much better options.”

This fucking—

“I think it’s time for me to take that potion and get some shut eye,” you say. “Thank you for helping.”

His smile doesn’t even twitch. If anything, it gets worse.

“A cruel denial,” he says and presses a hand over his heart. “I shall have to skulk into the night alone and pine away, awaiting our next encounter. Try not to keep me waiting too long to sample your…experiments.”

“Goodnight, Astarion,” you say as dead-voiced as you can.

He rises and steps around you in one swift, fluid motion to duck through the flap behind your back. Before he goes, he gives you another silly bow.

You probably shouldn’t. That voice in the back of your brain (sin, sin, shame, sin) screams about it (talking to a man while you’re alone). But you do your best to bow back while seated. Because your life has got real, real weird, but beneath the bored, dull, and generally uninterested face you slip on everyday, you’re pretty weird yourself.

It’s that little connection. The tentative root unfurling and reaching for something it recognizes. The dare to grasp at something fun, just to spite the universe so intent on burying you.

He grins and lets the tent flap fall shut behind him.

Alone and unseen, you let yourself smile back.

Previous - Index - Next Chapter

[blindomens]

Spam Post of all my Tavs

My first Tav, LeeLoo(yes from fifth element).She was my early access character as well. She was a Bard on early access but in the main game she is a Cleric. No romance, focused on the story and playing with 2 other friends.

My second Tav, but my first Tav to beat the game with. Miracle, Warlock. Playing with two other friends. Romancing Shadowheart only because she was the 4th in our party so I already had high approval with her.

My first solo game, Mox, Warlock. Astarion romance playthrough, but also the first playthrough I slept with the Guardian(for the achievement I swear)

My first dark urge game Tav. Hela, Fighter. Was going to one friend and mine Dark urge playthrough to really go into the urge but he ended up wanting to simp for Karlach and fucked it up so its been a mess of a game. I said fuck it and Romanced Halsin, then once he told me to "let my heart be free" I said, lets see how many people I can sleep with. Halsin, Halsin & the Drow twins, Mizora, and the Guardian. More to come hopefully.

Nyx, Bard, this save was going to be the save where my friend fixes his fuck up in the Hela save to simp for Karlach so we can go full evil in the other save. Romance Gale. We have hardly played this save, trying to beat the game on the Hela save first.

Rose, Wizard - Necromancer, Dark urge save(solo this time) so I can go full baddie babe. Figured, already going dark urge why not really fuck myself and go drow too.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do have one more save just no pictures of her yet.

Enyo, Paladin. I don't know her plans yet. TBA

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Edit:

Ozi, Rouge, Dark urge. Completely evil. You can find her post here.

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok, Dungeons and Dragons au because I can. And because a mutual asked for their main stats and now im thinking thoughts. They've all got the pirate background unless stated otherwise. I'm also only going to give Buttons a race but I imagine that porting them into D&D would make them elves and halflings and the like.

So there's like a few parties going on here. There's Ed's original Adventuring party which has since split up:

Ed: Warlock, fathomless pact, pirate background, Level 17, Str: 11 Dex: 14 Con: 15 Int: 20 Wis: 19 Cha: 20; strong focus in illusion spells, his patron, the Kraken has protected him at pivotal moments but overall their relationship is antagonistic.

Jack: Rogue, Swashbuckler archetype, level 17, Str: 13 Dex: 17 Con: 18 Int: 8 Wis: 15 Cha: 20, Whip is his main weapon and he's not like other swashbucklers tm

Anne: Rogue, Assassin archetype, Noble background (fight me about it), level 17, Str: 8; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 14; Wis: 12; Cha: 17

Mary: Fighter, Champion because it's the best one, Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 13, Con: 16, Int: 12, Wis: 15, Cha: 9

Fang: Ranger, Beastmaster archetype (I'm sorry from the perspective that it is the worst ranger subclass but yay puppy), Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 11, Con: 15, Int: 13, Wis: 20, Cha: 13, used to have a dog but it died and it was Eds fault that it died. Now his animal companion is a goat. The goat drinks rum.

---

And then there's the revenge crew who is yet another group, they used standard array and get a racial +2/+1 for my convenience:

Jim: Rogue, Assassin archetype, probably some homebrew raised in a cult background that I can't believe they haven't put out yet, or maybe haunted one but that seems wrong, Level 5, Str: 8; Dex: 17; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 13; Cha: 10.

Olu: Paladin, oath of devotion, pirate also seems wrong for him but idk; Level 5: Str: 14; Dex: 10; Con: 13; Int: 11; Wis: 12; Cha: 15, the oath is of devotion to his family which is Jim xoxo.

Lucius: Eloquence Bard, guild artisan background which lists scribes; Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 12; Con: 10; Int: 15; Wis: 13; Cha: 17

Pete: Fighter, not sure what subclass open to suggestions, Level 5; Str: 16; Dex: 13; Con: 16; Int: 12; Wis: 10; Cha: 8

Frenchie: Artificer (I feel like a homebrew subclass or alchemist), Entertainer background, Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 10; Con: 12; Int: 17; Wis: 13; Cha: 15

Wee John: Eldritch Knight fighter, level 5; Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 12; Int: 14; Wis: 10; Cha: 14; The DM is letting him take a bunch of evocation spells because the base rules for this subclass are dumb as fuck (i know the spells are school locked i just dont remember to which two schools) he will be able to cast fire ball by 13th level. Let Eldritch Knight and Arcane trickster take whatever spells they want 2k24 rogues don't need to be more invisible they do need to be able to cast identify.

Roach: life cleric, level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 13; Con: 15; Int: 12; Wis: 17; Cha: 10; his god is a homebrew deity who is the patron of all things that refuse to die and its holiest creature is the humble cockroach and once they entered the temple and the dm pulled up a gospel cover of I'm a Survivor by destiny's child for background music.

Buttons: Druid, Circle of the Moon, Hermit Background, Hexblood lineage, level 5; Str: 12; Dex: 11; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 17; Cha: 8

Swede: Bard, College of Glamor (mostly because I'm still not convinced his name wasn't stolen by the fey), level 5; Str: 13; Dex: 12; Con: 16; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 16

Archie: Barbarian, zealot, same background as Jim but a different cult, level (whatever they're at by season 2); Str: 14; Dex: 13; Con: 17; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 13 (plus an ASI presumably which would go into strength); Archie and Ivan have the same Player that's why Ivan died. Very sad. Oh well there's other fighters.

---

Miscellaneous

Zheng: Bard, College of Eloquence or College of swords, Level 17; Str: 9; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 17; Wis: 12; Cha: 20; alternatively? Hexblade Warlock (to parallel Ed) and Auntie is the sword. Same stats if true

Spanish Jackie: Mastermind Rogue, criminal background (it's like a pirate background but less boat oriented), Level 15; Str: 10; Dex: 18; Con: 13; Int: 20; Wis: 15; Cha: 18; retired adventurer who owns a bar that the party doesn't find out has levels until they fuck around and find out in her bar

Ivan: Fighter, Champion, Level 10; Str: 19; Dex: 10; Con: 16; Int: 10; Wis: 12; Cha: 13; player got board of playing a fighter and didn't really flesh him out :(

Izzy: Fighter, Champion, Soldier background (no water vehicle proficiency), Level 3 (he has not leveled up in 8 years, very sad); Str: 15 ; Dex: 14 ; Con: 6; Int: 8; Wis: 5; Cha: 6; I actually rolled this one up. 3d6 no rerolls, no dice box, and if it falls on the floor it's a one. Believe it or not this is after the +2/+1 to any stat. Anyway I'm an Izzy apologist now. Yes he did awful things but truly how can we blame the little guy when his charisma modifier is a -2 and his wisdom modifier is a -3. He had no idea what was going on and he couldn't talk his way out of a wet paper bag.

Stede: Barbarian, path of wild magic, Noble background, level 2 (wow, he's only been adventuring for a few weeks and he's already leveled up!); Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 15; Int: 16; Wis: 11; Cha: 10; I also rolled this stat array but this time 4d6 drop lowest. Also he's taking the lucky feat as his first feat. Whether that's at level one because he's human or at level 4 because he's something else is up to interpretation.

[magicalwastelands]

byler

byler is almost always paralleled to romantic couples and not paralleled to friendships. i was thinking about this the other day and turns out you guys voted for byler on the poll so HERE IT IS :)))

minor spoiler alert for: heartstopper, harry potter, stranger things

i'll be talking about how byler parallels to:

romantic pairings in stranger things

romantic pairings in other shows/movies (ive posted a more in-depth post about taoelle [romantic pairing in heartstopper] and byler being similar - if u want you can go check that out!!)

NOT friendships in stranger things (how it rarely parallels to other friendship pairings in the show compared to romantic ones)

romantic pairings in stranger things

jopper (joyce / hopper)

a. jopper has some scenes that parallel byler (this is just one example):

"I think we make a pretty good team." "I think it'll be easier if we're... we're a team."

b. also this music (you might know this already lol but this is just SO CRAZY LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN "oh, it's joyce and hopper" AND THE SAME SUBTITLES ARE SHOWN DURING SCENES WITH MIKE AND WILL???!? WHAT?????????????????????) [ website ]

[tender, emotional music swells] [tender, emotional music playing]

rockie (robin / vickie)

a. robin is the only confirmed gay character other than will and her crush on vickie is being shown as possibly reciprocated in the last ep of s4

[tender, emotional music playing] --- also another example of these subtitles

b. vickies relationship with her boyfriend is similar to mikes relationship with el (btw i loooove el im not saying shes similar to that guy, just talking about her relationship with mike and the love triangle imagery)

then theres these scenes of them being DIRECTLY positioned between established couples like.... these scenes are too crazy

2. romantic pairings in other shows/movies - this is strange because why would their dynamic be so similar to couples dynamics? if theyre just supposed to be friends???

harry potter - ron and hermione (I DO NOT SUPPORT JK R*WL*NG)

a. best friends to lovers trope / slowburn trope

in the final harry potter movie, ron and hermione have their first kiss. in the final season of stranger things, mike and w-

b. these scenes...

c. love triangles - ron thinks hermione likes harry over him (similar situation with will but mike and el are actually dating)

Heartstopper - nick and charlie

a. blue and yellow

b. this in the actual books - nick is the heart of the rugby team and mike is the heart of the party:

"You're the heart and centre of this team, Nick." "You're the heart."

c. bonus: i recently bought the heartstopper colouring book (its suuuper cute btw love it) and theres this???? is it giving paladin and cleric vibes???????

3. friendship pairings

lucas and dustin (im only gonna talk abt them for examples of friendship pairings)

a. season 1 - last ep, mike is super worried about will and immediately jumps up to see and hug him (he says that will is awake 3 times), while dustin and lucas are asleep

[snoring] "Guys. Guys, he's up. Will is up. Guys, Will's up."

also omg in this scene dustin calls her a "wizard" and then mike CORRECTS HIM SAYING SHES MORE LIKE YODA I CAN'T... CAUSE WILL IS THE WIZARD NOT EL..... ALSO BRO YODA??? THAT GIRL YOU KISSED AND ARE GOING TO DATE FOR LIKE A YEAR AND SAY YOU LOVE HER IS LIKE YODA???????

"She's basically a wizard." "More like a Yoda."

like bro... THIS UR GF???? LOVE OF YOUR LIFE???????????? YOUR LIFE STARTED BC OF HER?????? (feat. will being the wizard el can't replace in mikes head...)

b. different reactions to will's "body" being pulled out of the lake

lucas says that it must be will. mike doesn't accept the body being will's. (NOT LUCAS SLANDER DON'T WORRY I LOVE HIM)

shocked, has to lean on the truck to calm himself down, gets mad at el because she couldn't help him save will, is in tears, doesn't care about eleven in this moment because he's so sad that will is "dead"

(also sorry for the bad vid quality)

mike is obviously the most affected one by the "body" being found.

c. whenever something happens with will and mike, the others know they shouldn't interrupt, like this (lucas knows not to follow mike out):

and this (they're walking behind the others, having their own private conversation):

and also this (max doesn't get it but the others know mike and will want to be alone):

d. if mike, will, dustin and lucas are all just friends, and mike also said this to dustin (talking about lucas at first) ...

(Mike: He's not my best friend. [sighs] I mean, he is, but so are you. And so is Will.)

... then why is the relationship between mike and will so different and singled out to the relationship between ANY OTHER PAIRING BETWEEN THE FOUR if lucas, dustin and will are all supposed to be mike's best friends??