atsadi-shenanigans

[atsadi-shenanigans]

You give karlach one of those clicky pens one of two things will happen: either she gets her privileges revoked after 20 seconds of use, or the pen snaps from her clicking it too hard

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Jesus FUCK. I ADORE this so much 😭

snippet someday

tagged by @atsadi-shenanigans and DAMN idk if i can match that but let's give it a try

“Better?” you intoned in a low voice. “Oh, excellent.” He shifted his hips, a minuscule bit of friction, staring up at you so soft and open and pleased. “Full to bursting with blood, reclining in a hoard of pillows, a handsome person in my lap with my cock warm and snug inside them? It’s almost as if we’re somewhere civilised.” You began to slowly rock your hips. Within a couple of repetitions, he caught and joined the rhythm, his knees pulling up behind you. “Your standards are in the gutter,” you told him affectionately, rubbing your nose against his. Before you could withdraw, he stole a kiss. “You, of all—ah—all people do not get to tell me that.” Both of your breathing was growing rougher, so loud in the dark, breath-warm little space between you. His eyelids were fluttery; a darling furrow had appeared between his brows, a sweetly pained twist to his mouth. He felt good. You were making him feel good. “Hmm,” you mused. “I ought to pamper you properly sometime, then. So we can both see what it is like.” A light sparked in Astarion’s eyes. Hands sliding up your sides, he purred, “You do.” Your heart was going to burst into your mouth and onto your tongue. You were going to spit it up onto him like a cat with a hairball, or a dead mouse. You pressed your forehead to his, increasing the pace of your hips. If only you could merge with him! Crack open your chest and bid him curl up within your wet heat, close your ribs around him like armour. You wanted to wrap yourself around him until both of you forgot there was anything else to the world. You had to settle for this: your blood on the inside, your body on the outside; your cunt around his cock, your arms around his neck, your legs around his hips. Double layers of you to keep him safe and shielded, warm and nurtured. He kissed you, you kissed him. Lips and tongue and teeth on the mouth, cheeks, ears—neck, collarbones, chest. Both of you were warm and flushed with your blood, damp with your sweat. You leaned your faces together and passed the same air back and forth in gasps and moans and filthy nothings. One of his hands dropped to your arse, kneading and caressing, ushering your movements. The other wandered up into your shaggy hair. Your hips rolled over his and his rolled under yours, an undulating, infinite wave. You were so full. On each stroke, your clit ground into the warm skin and soft fat of his pubic mound, warm little licks of pleasure. This wasn't going to make you come, but gods, you wanted to stay here forever.

tagging @gorgongorgeous & @spectrumcore & @gostak for fandoms/pairings of ur choices mwah

[atsadi-shenanigans]

In keeping with my sometimes-usual smutfic posting, i think I’m gonna plan to finish and post the next one on Easter. Or the day before, actually, since I won’t be anywhere near a computer the day of. Happy bunny day, you filthy animals*.

*juuuust in case, cause y’all got wildly different ages and nationalities, that’s a reference from the 90s xmas classic Home Alone.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Sudden Astarion hc idea popped into my mind:

Okay so I was always like "why tf is he a rogue?" Bg3 normally ties the companions classes to their story or personality in some way, so what does being a sneak thief have to do with being a magistrate or a hooker or a slave or a vampire or an elf or any of it?

Why is Astarion a rogue??

Well something people in abusive homes will do is essentially sneak around their own house. They move around quietly, take soft steps, stuff like that.

So if we take that and blend it with the idea he took archery as a rich bitch child + he got a habit of stealing because Caz almost never buys them non-essentials and he still manages to feel entitled to finery despite his status.

That's a rogue.

🕺 plot:gameplay cohesion question answered

[atsadi-shenanigans]

So... I spent the past week doing almost nothing but practice drawing my wife.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

How do you think the gang would feel about amusment parks? Who would be daring enough to ride the machenical serpent (roller coaster)

Karlach and Wyll. Head of the line, zero hesitation. Wyll wrangles Lae’zel into it by basically calling her chicken. Saying that someone who aspires to one day ride a red dragon would certainly be capable of riding a mechanical one.

Gale is curious, but man. Wizards aren’t really known for their constitution. What’s a funnel cake?? Ooh.

Shadowheart sees the teenager running the thing and “I think not.” She goes off to make one of those sand-in-a-bottle birds. Ends up in the petting zoo.

Astarion says it would ruin his hair. Secretly, he’s 100% fuck-no-not-in-a-million-years. He’s throwing darts to win the biggest fucking stuffed animal there cause Tav has never won any carnival thing. And then browsing the arts and crafts hall.

Minthara says there are better ways to die. She finds a turkey leg to eat and deliberately plays the games where you’re against everyone and she makes sure to find the ones the kids are playing. The bitter taste of defeat is an important lesson for them to learn. She and Lae’zel become rivals. The children cry. (Wyll starts winning them stuffed animals on the sly.)

Halsin found the animal pens (this has become a state fair in my head) and spends eight hours talking to the 4H club kids about ethical animal husbandry (nature should be free, but he does understand the necessity of farming). He fucking hates the rodeo though.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

I can see Astarion getting jumpscared by his own reflection, like he was just minding his own business when suddenly there’s a strange man standing there, and it takes him an embarrassingly long time to figure out who it is

This happens, and it's funny, but then he won't leave it and everyone realizes, exactly, why and they leave him to it. The group starts gifting him modern mirrors they find (or steal), until he's got a whole ass bag of holding full of them. He doesn't acknowledge any of this. Neither does anyone else. They just bring him more mirrors to take home and Gale find basically a bubble-wrap spell to keep them all safe.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

The gang shouldn’t be allowed around technology. Somebodys going to blind themself looking directly into a flashlight

Considering that I have nearly blinded myself doing the same? Yeah (it's gonna be Karlach. And Astarion. I think once they're friends, they tend to morph into an orange cat). Gale finds the internet and disappears for 57 years.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Knowing the gods of toril, there’s probably some crazed minor deity that wants to cause an apocalypse by warming up the planet anyhow

You are absolutely correct.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

I wish it was seventy degrees where I live, it’s in the forties and we still have pollen everywhere

It cooled off again (thank fuck) but I'm worried for this summer. Where I live now isn't really used to super high temperatures, and none of the houses are built for it, and A/C isn't standard Which like, the temperatures have been getting higher year after year and you'd think that people would adapt but...?

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Came for These Two Shitheads; stayed for the Saint of Steel recs and also These Two Shitheads. Please keep doing what you do. --Mcalester OK

Aw hell yeah! Thank you! And I found out that there's a tie-in because someone else on here mentioned it. The internet can be a beautiful thing 🥲

[atsadi-shenanigans]

How would eleanor explain modern capitalism to the party?

Hey, so you know how the patriars fuck over everyone? Imagine if they got together into groups that controlled all the guilds, not just land and housing, and they made you pay money for everything, including water. And literally everyone works for them. It's like y'all's system, but imagine they got a real big chunk of the population to believe that the only thing keeping them from being a patriar themself was not working even harder. While paying for access to water. Yes, I'm serious. One person can be richer and more powerful than an entire nation state. Yes, that's fucked Karlach, I know. And yeah, it is kinda like the hells.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

“That’s kinda the smutfic I’m working on.”

when I saw that in my notes I nearly perished. I am so goddamn excited for this fic!! 😤🥳😍

lololol. It's one of my longer ones too, I think. Won't know for sure until I finish getting it typed up.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Snippet Someday

Got tagged by @bardic-inspo (thanks!!!).

He mouths at your neck. The tips of his fangs scrape over your skin and you make a sound. “Mmm, my precious hellion,” he says. “Still trying to save everyone.” “Just—” He releases you. Cloth shifts and then he spins the chair around. You only catch a flash of light blue and pale skin before he lifts a leg and his weight settles over your lap. “Trying to make. Um,” you say. “Things a little. Better…” His chest is bare. A smooth sweep of naked skin from his chin to his naval, framed in an open robe of sky blue silk so fine it’s pretty damn see-through. His misty step necklace spills down his chest, and his nipples peek out from the edges of that robe. But it’s his waist that really catches your attention. The matching, lacy garter belt and panties, both of them embroidered in swirls of gold. And the stockings. Matching blue, clasped up by the belt all the way up his thighs. “Huh,” you say. “Was that, um. Did the courier drop them off?” He leans back, gripping the arms of the chair so you can admire him: the way the silk drapes, the way the muscles of his abdomen flex. “Goodness, no,” he says. “I’ve had this old thing for ages. That sweet man brought me something else.” A flush stains his cheeks. Sweeps across his chest. He’s been feeding damn regular, and you wonder if he means some kinda like, specialty blood? Cause you know that necklace. And he ain’t wearing much else… He leans in close. Face to yours. Grinds against you. And it clocks. The shape. Something’s off. You look down between your bodies. You seen him in panties before—he’s goddamn hot with his cock straining against them. But his front now is flat. No hint of an erection.

Tee hee.

Tagging: @chexala @lavenderbunn @fireheartedpup @rackartyg and @clefable-time

Bonus doodle!

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Snippet Someday

Thank you for the tags @amoremagnificentbastard and @xxnashiraxx!! 💜💜💜

I am whittling away at the next chapter of Aeterna Nostalgia, hoping it won't be too much longer before I can share!

The rather simple dress shirt hanging between two backless numbers sticks out like a sore thumb. She pulls it from the hanger, rubbing the fabric between her fingertips. There's a storied nature to it, written in the subtle stitches outside the seams. It must’ve been mended a time or two. It's not out of fashion per se, but seeing it among such pristine, ostentatious ensembles, it looks to be from another life entirely. Someone else’s. Not a vampire lord, ruling from his castle. Naomi can empathize. She doesn't belong here, either. Or, maybe it's simply her bardic nature drawing her to the only garment here that seems to have any history aside from hanging in wait.

No-pressure tagging back @caffeinatedmunchkin, @skullypettibone, @elinorbard, @atsadi-shenanigans, @meeshrox, and @marlowethebard to share whatever you wanna whenever you wanna! 💜

[atsadi-shenanigans]

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Oh boy, weekend with no plans? Yeah I spent it curled up with Death Comes to Thornhold The Last Will and Testament of Cazador Szarr by AbigailMoment. I scribbled panels of some of my favorite bits: the cavalry duo, on a daring mission and also arguing over whether Agatha is the murderer (she definitely is, sorry Tara). And the carriage ride back from Meiroth's (oop I forgot to draw Astarion's enchanted shirt and vest and defaulted to a collared one).

Thank you @abigailmoment for the slow burn bloodweave Gale Dekarios vampire lord AU I didn't know I needed but did, in fact, need very much.

Tara inspo under the cut.

Behold: my son, a beautiful model.