#it’s all about boundaries and baby i am so good with setting them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

coolwyous · 2 months ago

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┈─★ 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘣𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘨𝘶𝘮.

⊹ ࣪ ˖ when an unexpected breakup leaves you without a date to your sister’s wedding, it’s perfect, confident lara raj, the goalie for your university's hockey team, who jumps in to your rescue and volunteers to keep up a charade until your family is off your back. but as your friendship deepens, the lines begin to blur between what’s real and what’s for show.

ˎˊ˗ ❄️ ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 🔓୭˚. ⠀ ᵎᵎ ⠀ 🗝️

➴ pairing: hockey player! lara raj x physical therapy major!f!reader

➴ genre + wc: 12k, college au, FAKE DATING!, mutual pining, extremely slow burn, friends to lovers, denial of feelings, charming hockey jock lara, super domestic and slice of life-y, reader is a chronic overthinker and people pleaser...., just more fluff idk

➴ you might want to tune in...: bubble gum - newjeans.

┈─★ a/n: goalie lara anyone? the hockey au expands w our favorite team mommy <33 this fic is set overlapping the events of ditto, so if you're waiting for ditto pt 2, this gives a tiny behind the scenes. i am so in love w writing the dynamics in this verse, i hope everyone enjoys! dani's upcoming fic will complete the trio and prob be the longest of the three. also should clarify: megan + ditto!y/n are freshmen; hlbwfil!y/n, lara and dani are sophomores; sophia and manon are juniors.

cw:// mentions of recreational drug use, some suggestiveness? also reader BRIEFLY dates a man...

[*set overlapping the events of ditto-- read first here if you don't want spoilers!]

a new semester, same routine. it’s your second year as the women’s hockey team’s resident physical therapist in training. kinesiology isn’t an easy major, but you love it with your whole heart, and the girls all make it worth it.

“i’m just saying, matching tattoos would look sick,” daniela says as the golden trio approaches the physio room after their showers.

“yeah, but not of each other’s faces,” megan grimaces. you laugh at the notion that dani would even suggest it.

“oh my god, the world’s most beautiful girl,” lara smiles, dropping down onto the cushioned bench in front of you.

“oh my god, i must be a mirror,” you grin back.

you won’t talk about your soft spot for the trio. you love all of the girls on the team, but there’s a special bond you built with the three musketeers. megan, the baby of the team, who opened up to you about how much she misses her mom as you walk her through some stretches for her back strain. dani, the chaotic team captain with no boundaries, who beams every time you compliment her after she makes it through her ice bath without flinching.

and lara raj. you especially won’t talk about your soft spot for lara, the confident, secure goalie who you’ve grown especially close with.

you know lara makes it a habit to be this nice to everybody. it comes with the territory. you know lara comes from money without flaunting it, always offering to cover meals for the girls with that insanely heavy black credit card with her dad’s name on it. she’s told you a little bit about how good she’s had it, the perfect parents, a super nice older sister, solid grades and of course, a talent for making sure a puck never flies past her.

it’s easy to love lara— perfect, confident, generous lara.

(so maybe you let yourself love her, just a little too much, but that’s for you to keep to yourself.)

lara’s compliments can sometimes come off as a bit much, but that’s the thing you’ve realized with her. while megan is usually too nervous to choke out anything, and dani says whatever is on her mind with no filter, lara finds the perfect balance. lara is observant and attentive, and she sees people for what they care about and finds a way to make them feel seen for it.

well, you don’t exactly prioritize being beautiful, but it’s a bonus that lara likes to call her loved ones pretty.

“can i talk to you about something?” she asks as you put stabilizing tape on her shoulder. your supervisor is in the office coming up with treatment plans for that week for the rest of the team.

despite daniela being the one that boasts the giant “c” on her jersey, lara is the de facto team mom. while dani is the one screaming in coach’s face about his unfair treatment of a player, lara the one constantly waving you down when someone tries to hide an injury or fake feeling better, making sure they get the attention they need instead of toughing it out. their dynamic is polar opposite, the defender and the caretaker but the two best friends complete each other.

“what’s up?” you hum, watching as the strips of KT tape start to make a mesmerizing pattern against lara’s soft skin.

“i’m worried about meg’s grade in our english class.” she whispers, ensuring the girl can’t hear you guys from outside the door. “dani chat gpt’s it all and gets away with it, i feel fine, but we’re struggling to help her keep up.”

“you told her not to take intro to british lit with you,” you remind her.

“i know, but i don’t think it’ll help to rub it in right now,” she sighs. “it’s so much reading."

you feel your brow furrow as you remember your assistant coach whispering something about academic probation to your head coach once last week, when they were doing their monthly grade assessment. the season is going so well, and megan’s been absolutely killing her position as center to the point that she’s the starter, so you can imagine how bad the team would suffer if she gets temporarily barred from playing.

you see the look in her eyes. lara’s worried about what it’ll do to megan if she gets dinged for her grades and has to stop playing, even for a short amount of time.

“when yunjin got diagnosed with adhd, she was able to talk to the university resource center to ask for more time during tests,” you remember, wracking your brain for a solution. the defenseman had told you about it at the very beginning of the semester, as if it was a hack.

“okay, period. we have a plan a,” lara beams. “you and that big brain, y/n.”

you feel your ears redden and shake your head. “what’s our plan b in case my big brain fails?”

“i will seduce her professor and change the grade myself,” she decides. you laugh but quickly feel yourself furrow as she winces at the you bend her shoulder. she tries to keep you away from changing the topic. “i’ll take one for the team. maybe that should be plan a, actually.”

“hey, no,” you press gently, concerned. she had told you the shoulder was pain free. “is your rotator cuff still bothering you?”

“it’s sore when i don’t stretch it, but that’s just me getting old,” lara waves you off.

“what do you think i’m going to say to you next?” you ask her.

“oh my god, y/n, always so non-confrontational. like my little conscience in my ear, asking me questions until the guilt eats me alive,” lara laughs, shoving you away from her. “it’s so annoying how good at that you are, you pacifist.”

you smile and put your supplies away, but lara’s words are nothing but the truth. you’re so painfully fearful of confrontation, it’s almost a joke that the career you’ve picked is with a full contact sport.

you open your mouth to say something, to ask further about the injury, when your phone ringing catches your attention. you feel yourself tense as you see the contact photo.

but lara, perfect, attentive lara, never misses anything with you.

“boyfriend again?”

she gives you a questioning look. she knows everything about you, including how rocky things have been with your less than attentive boyfriend lately.

“distance isn’t easy on anyone,” you say simply, but her look says enough. she gets up and offers you a reassuring hug.

“you’re not just anyone, so don’t let him treat you like you are.” how the hell does she always manage to sound straight out of a soap opera? you nod, blinking back the rising heat in your chest at the nerves

“it’s complicated,” you remind her, but she’s already giving you that look. you hate how you guys can communicate so much with so little.

you flag your supervisor to come check your work and step outside to take the call. you can feel lara’s eyes on you the whole time.

“hi felix…”

a week passes by, and so do two more phone calls that go the exact same way. all ending with a knot in your stomach at his words. you’re silently grateful that your roommate dropped out in the second week of school. a solo dorm all to yourself is a luxury you don’t take for granted when you’re so constantly fighting on the phone with someone into the late hours of the night.

“he’s mad about me not calling him when he got out of class again,” you sigh over facetime with daniela, as you flop onto your bed after a particularly boring history lecture. “i have explained so many times that i go straight from class to go work on you guys after practice.”

“go cheat on him or something,” daniela says simply. “he’s an annoying little bitch.”

“dani,” you sigh exasperatedly. you love her, but it’s easy to see why coach blames her for his going bald. she can be extremely difficult and give zero fucks about it.

you’ve always kept an extremely small circle. but lara’s in class, megan has never been in a relationship, yunjin is out with her girlfriend, and you’d rather die than talk to your sister about your boyfriend issues.

which leaves daniela, whose brash, calloused responses remind you just how perfect and emotionally in-tune with you lara is.

however, what daniela lacks in tact she makes up for in passion and pure heart, so you can always read between the lines and see her intentions are good.

“dude, come get fucked up with me and the kappa theta girls this weekend and you will literally never want to talk to that limp dick loser again.”

okay. mostly good intentions.

you remain silent as you assess the lack of food in your minifridge. usually, the silent treatment works wonders to get dani back on track, and this time is no exception.

“well, either way, you’ve always got lara who’d drop anything to marry you in a heartbeat.”

you laugh. that’d what you needed, the thing the three musketeers are so good at– saying the stupidest things.

“i’m ready when she is,” you tell her jokingly, tossing an old box of leftovers into the trash.

“been ready. break up with your soggy bitch and i’ll take y’all to the courthouse tomorrow.” you hear her laugh, but then you hear something like water bubbling, followed by a long exhale.

“don’t you have a press conference tomorrow?” you laugh, realizing exactly what the noise was.

“why do you think i’m getting baked out of my mind right now instead of in the morning? for a smart girl you’re kinda dumb sometimes, y/n,” she teases.

“don’t flirt with me too loud now, my dorm’s gonna end up burnt down by one of your crazy stalkers,” you deadpan dryly, realizing you need to go get something to eat.

“when you decide you’re done with that fucking joke of a man, i know a girl who’s lined up waiting for you,” she tells you between coughs, “and unfortunately for you, it isn’t me.”

“thanking god that i’m the one girl on earth who won’t take a ride on the avanzini train,” you laugh. daniela has always been respectfully inappropriate, and she’s one of the few people you feel comfortable enough to tease. “your ride’s probably messed up anyways.”

“100% satisfaction rate, lots of insistent repeat customers actually,” she defends herself passionately. “i wouldn’t be so bold, y/n, your shit is probably whack if it’s got your man tweaking so bad.”

“and the convo ends nee-ow,” you sigh, shaking your head, but your heart feels a little less heavy after dani’s nonsense. “thanks for cheering me up, captain.”

“thanks for patching us up all the time. we love you, y/n. keep your head up.”

the line dies out, and you go to lace up your sneakers. as much as dani loves to say shit to get a rise out of people, you think back over her words. lara.

perfect, confident lara has always been honest about how much she adores you. at first, you used to think it was just her way of making you feel comfortable around all of them. the hockey team is close, freakishly close, and she was always so warm and thoughtful enough to invite you to all their outings and make you feel included. she never had to– you’re only with them through next year, and then senior year you’ll be at the university medical center working in a real physical therapy clinic for your clinical rotation. your end goal is sports medicine, and you’d love to get hired by the hockey team once you graduate, but you need to keep your options open and be prepared for anything.

plus, you and felix are supposed to look for jobs in the same city once you graduate, move in together, build a life…

that beautiful, melodic voice enters your head as you hunt down your wallet. lara loved to bat her eyes at you whenever you mentioned not knowing what comes after graduation: “aw y/n, don’t you wanna take care of me forever?”

in the early days, you used to think she and dani were the same breed of college athlete. cocky, arrogant, flirtatious. the flirting rang true for the both of them, but you started to see where lara differed. she was tender, caring, and empathetic at times you had least expected.

the first time she ever told you she’d liked you, you thought it was another one of her mindless flirtations. you had learned to let them roll off your shoulder by that point. but even after you had laughed, she stood there, brows arched, and reiterated it. “y/n, i’m serious. i really am into you.”

you feel your spine tingle at the memory. what are you supposed to do with that? you and felix had just hit a year. a rocky, bumpy year, but you had met just after high school and you figured you owed it your best shot. lara was quickly one of your closest friends, and you had confided everything in her.

she never defined it as a crush, nor did she ever make you feel guilty for it. her transparency was equal parts confusing and refreshing. it made your friendship stronger, if anything. never crossing the line of touching too close or flirting too passionately. you two existed in a weird limbo– lara raj was somehow in love with you, openly so, and yet was so damn perfect she never made it big enough to affect your friendship.

(this is the part where you try to stop thinking about it before your head has a hard time making sense of it all… but… don’t you love her too?)

you step out of your dorm and spot an unfamiliar girl letting herself into your neighbor’s dorm. your neighbor, baby megan skiendiel’s dorm. you feel a rise of suspicion. chronically bitchless megan, as the trio calls her? maybe you’ll give her roomie danielle a heads up?

meg’s got someone over. she’s reaaaallly pretty

i appreciate you! ;-; best neighbour ever!

ofc <333

i think she mentioned something about a study partner?

you smile and step out of the building into the chilly night air. lara made it happen. you know megan would have been too nervous to ask for the support on her own, so it must have been with the guidance of the older girls that–

your phone buzzes. felix, again.

“i just barely got home and headed to dinner, like the second you called me,” you tell him quickly as you pick up, wanting to avoid another fight. you can feel yourself already breathless and anxious.

“why do you always talk to me like that? like i’m an idiot. i’m not an idiot, y/n. did it ever occur to you that your standards are just too unrealistic?” his voice is so cold, making your stomach turn as you keep walking towards the dining hall, trying to avoid letting your eyes water before you see someone you may know.

“i don’t think it’s that ridiculous. we’re long distance. we don’t have the easy things to fall back on,” you furrow your eyebrows, nearly disgusted.

but then he pauses, and you can hear him suck in a breath. your stomach drops at the way his tone changes.

“maybe we should think about that. if the distance is too hard.”

“what the fuck, felix?” you try not to make it a habit to swear, but the tears are already pricking at the corners of your eyes. you want to scream but everything stays trapped in your chest.

“you gave up forever ago,” he accuses you.

“you think so?” is all you can manage to ask. it’s moments like this where you admire someone as unhinged as daniela, who you’re sure could easily give him a piece of her mind, or yunjin, who won’t stand for even a whiff of disrespect.

or lara, you think, who’d know her worth enough to just hang up and move right on along.

you lose yourself in silence as felix unleashes a rant that feels much too pre-prepared to be brought on by simply missing his call. you feel your chest ache at the thought of everything changing for you. you don’t know how much time has passed before he realizes you haven’t said anything. you’ve always hated that about him. you’re naturally reserved, and it’s almost like he just assumes you have nothing to say.

he ends the call when he’s ready, with a “sorry it had to be like this, y/n,” and you’re too drained to fight him on it. you stop and sit on a nearby bench to wipe your face clean and send a quick rescue text to the only person you really want to talk to in that moment.

lara’s calling you less than 30 seconds after you hit send.

“lar, you’re in class, you didn’t have to call me,” you chastise her gently, but you know there’s no point.

“i know you said call you after class, but that’s such an sos, you never need anything so i know this has got to be the real deal,” she tells you.

“i just needed to get out of my head.”

“everything okay?” she asks tenderly.

“um, no. not really.” you take a deep breath and look up, trying to avoid the well of tears coming back up. “i think felix and i just broke up.”

“oh, fuck that guy. never liked him. i’m coming to get you in 5.”

perfect, always-knows-what-to-say lara raj does exactly that, tracking you by your location just a few minutes later, and insists you two go out to eat and tell her everything. it stings, but lara’s presence makes everything more bearable. maybe this isn’t the worst thing that could have come out of today.

you wake up in your dorm and feel the dull, anxious buzz in your stomach as you remember yesterday’s call. but spending the rest of the night with one of your favorite people had made it practically melt away, and by the time she had dropped you off, felix was far out of your mind.

you’re taking the breakup better than most would expect, but then again, you’ve also been called “the statue” by coach by how non-reactive you are.

what’s the point in losing your cool and letting others get the best of you? sure, your sister grew up walking all over you, but most of the time, it wasn’t worth it to get into it with her. you’ve been like this since you were little– you hoard your emotions, stoic through all hardships, too afraid to let people see you struggle and think any less of you. your dad’s always been such a worry wart, your step-mom is insanely judgemental, and your sister jordan gets everything she wants, never once having understood what it’s like to feel like a burden.

your sister, who you haven’t thought of all night. why would you? this breakup is about–

oh god. your very demanding, very aggressive, very engaged-to-be-married-in-two-weeks, sister.

your jaw nearly drops as you realize the extra layer of what your breakup means for you. your hands shake in panic.

breakfast with lara. you feel it anchor you, ever so slightly. there’s an idea that pops into your head that you barely let yourself contemplate before realizing if there’s anyone who could come to your rescue, it might be perfect, angel lara.

“you know i’d never ask anything of you, ever, right?” you start as the two of you sit down, setting your trays onto the table.

“yes, you’re too proud and too hardworking,” lara nods, grinning as you smack her shoulder.

“okay,” you breathe nervously, “well i am extremely embarrassed to ask you this, but my psychopath of a sister is getting married in two weeks and i already told her i was in a relationship, so if i show up alone, she’s never going to let me hear the end of it, ‘cause she planned for a specific seating arrangement and—”

oh my god, you realize you’re rambling. you try to pivot to what the bigger issue is.

“damn, okay, well let me just say that my my stepmom will be weird, my dad is gonna overreact and make me come back home, i won’t get to finish my program–”

oh my god, again you gasp at yourself. this is why the hell you don’t let yourself panic. you crack.

there’s a pause as you see lara digest all of it.

“parents love me,” lara finally grins. you let out the breath that had been stuck in your throat. you feel an immense gratitude that she isn’t pushing you to say it.

how could you possibly mutter the words out loud? will you be my fake date to this real wedding?

“i’m so sure yours did,” you roll your eyes, but you can’t help but laugh. she’s got the confidence of a child who was never told no.

“all parents,” she pushes back, poking you in the ribs.

“don’t get too cocky. it was between you, daniela, and meg, but meg gets nervous when someone even breathes next to her and dani is-”

“oh my god,” lara covers her mouth with her hand at the image in her head. “she’d be forcing your family members to drink shots out of her mouth and harassing the dj.”

you hold three fingers up, and fold them down as you go through the lineup of your options. “our infant daughter who can barely remember her own name, hot-headed attention whore with no boundaries, or charming and slightly overconfident sweetheart.”

“i’m going to pretend my competition wasn’t those two idiots and just tell myself i was the clear winner from the start.”

“i’ll owe you everything,” you tell her gently.

“i’m happy to do it.” she shakes her head, before a beaming grin. “you know it’s inevitable that we fall in love though, right?”

you laugh, but she reaches out to you, and your hands meet over the table. what a massive reassurance.

“lara i can’t stress enough how thankful i am, and how anxious over all of it i am.”

“i got this,” she reassures you, confident nod. “i’ve got you.”

“thank you,” you breathe quietly once more, and you feel your heart stir. you do trust her, with your whole heart actually, to make this work.

you’re supposed to be sleeping in when the blare of your phone ringing shocks you awake. again, grateful to live alone.

“ugh, jordy, it’s 6 in the damn morning,” you groan as you bring the phone to your ear. your sister has her own special ringtone, love by keyshia cole, her stupid go to karaoke song.

“y/n,” jordan drawls, and you roll your eyes as you remember she simply does not care about inconveniencing you. “my friend wants to know if you’ll let her third wheel you at the table. i’ve never met your boyfriend so i want to know he won’t be weird with her.”

you almost don’t remember what she’s talking about, until you feel your body tense. the damn wedding looming over your head.

the good thing about being notoriously private, you realize, is that you had kept your relationship entirely between the two of you. felix had hated how you never posted him, never let him tag you in anything, never let him meet your family or friends, simply told them “i’m seeing someone” once you had hit six months. you bite your tongue. maybe you could see why he’d be so frustrated… but you’ve always wanted to keep your business to yourself, and having someone associated to you for people to judge you off of would be entirely unfair to you.

“girlfriend,” you correct her quietly. as soon as the word comes out, you can’t hide from it any more. you and lara are committing to the charade.

“girlfriend?” she sounds surprised, but not annoyed. “okay, but she needs to wear my colors or i’ll kill her.”

you breathe a quiet laugh. at least jordan can always make things about herself. “i’ll make sure she knows.”

“anyways, my friend, she’s so cute, says she’s in your research methods class,” she pivots back to her initial ask. “i’ll tell her she can link up with you whenever. i’ll give her your instagram.”

before you can say anything, jordan hangs up unceremoniously. you furiously get dressed and brush your teeth, trying to rush to lara as soon as physically possible. this adds a kink to your plan.

you make it to her dorm in a few and punch in her keycode, letting yourself into her room quietly. you poke around to see if her roommates are home and if you’ll wake her, but luckily, the only person you see in the bed is her.

your heart thuds. perfect, sweet lara raj, slumbering like an angel, her lips parted slightly and her brows furrowed in her sleep.

“lar,” you gently hum, approaching with caution. “lar, it’s y/n.”

you had let yourself into her dorm after her insistence before, and as she stirs awake, a smile takes to her lips. “i was hoping it’d be you when i heard the door.”

“um, so, issue.” you whisper, kneeling by her bed as you play with her hair to help her wake up. “my sister basically wants a friend of her’s to hang out with us so she’s not uncomfortable at the wedding, but i have no clue who the friend is.”

lara rubs at her eyes sleepily, reaching for her phone as she looks up at you. “which means…”

“i’m really sorry.” the weight of this isn’t lost upon you. “is there any way we can be like, pretend exclusive for the next week and a half? if this girl sees you out with someone and texts my sister then it’s all pointless.”

“oh, so like, fully off the market?” lara arches an eyebrow.

“i know it’s a huge ask.”

there’s a heavy pause, and you wish the earth would open up and swallow you alive. what an embarrassing situation to force lara into. you’d fully understand if she’d push back.

but perfect, helpful lara raj simply grins up at you and shows you her phone, finger hovering over her dating apps folder as she deletes them one by one in front of you.

“i’ll delete my tinder right now.” she says easily. “not about to blow your cover.”

you let out a deep breath and swarm her in a hug. “lara, you’re a godsend.”

“not my first time hearing that,” she beams back at you.

you get a dm in that moment from a random photography instagram that had followed you later that morning. the profile picture is of a tree, giving you no hints about this girl’s identity.

peanutbutterlover02: hey <3 jordan said i could come crash you guys! are you busy today? maybe we can do dinner together?

you breathe shakily. your first test as a fake couple.

“let’s do it,” lara says confidently, and you realize she’s reading over your shoulder.

“if my asks ever get too weird, please, please say something.” you tell her firmly. “i don’t ever want you uncomfortable just to help me out. we can scale it back any time if the lines get blurry.”

“y/n, this is like a dream come true for me,” lara teases. “i’ll speak up if i need to, but don’t worry too much about me, okay?”

“thank you,” you breathe shakily, and send a reply to this girl with a time and place.

you’re getting ready for the hang out after practice when lara texts you.

meg and dani found out we’re going to the makers market and want to come... maybe a small group will make her more comfortable?

our first exposure is a group thing?

if that’s okay?

won’t they be weird about us acting like that?

do you trust them to keep a secret?

you’re heading out the dorm but pause in your tracks. one massive factor you didn’t consider— the girl with no filter.

oh my god daniela

and that big mouth

i will beg her

no don’t do that, pretty girl. i’ll talk to her. she’ll always do it for the team.

lara always manages to find a way. you feel your chest loosen and keep walking, shooting a message to jordan’s friend before jumping back to lara.

my hero

;) we’ll be there in like 5

you spot the girl on the bench in front of the library, exactly where you agreed to meet up.

“hi!” she greets, pulling you in for a hug. “you’re jordy’s sister. i’m manon.”

“how do you know each other?” you ask curiously. jordan is a bitch, in every sense, and manon seems so… normal?

“jordy is my hair girl.” she smiles and taps at the intricate patterns along her scalp. “cleanest parts i have ever seen.”

“i’m y/n,” you smile, and let out a small breath before you commit fully to the act. no turning back now. “my girlfriend and her friends will be here super soon.”

as if on cue, you hear old justin bieber rnb blaring from an approaching vehicle, and recognize lara’s car right away.

“hi ladies,” lara beams from the window as she pulls up to the curb. you see the ginger hair and blonde curls in the back. “your uber is here.”

manon squeezes into the back, and you take the passengers seat. you suck in a breath. maybe you and lara should have practiced how to be, what to do, how to navigate this, especially in front of two of your closest friends. lara makes easy work of chatting up manon and keeping the conversation flowing until you guys get to the makers market, a bustling farmers market for art where they block off a whole street for vendors.

you’re too busy overthinking to notice megan and daniela’s widened eyes as lara snakes an arm around your waist as you all start walking. your skin tenses at the contact.

lara, confident, unshakable lara, does it as if you’ve been hers for years. this might not be a mission destined for failure after all.

manon is extremely sweet and undeniably hilarious. the evening goes on without a hitch (maybe besides dani trying to race megan to see who can eat their korean corn dog faster causing both of them to choke) but even the small hiccups are nothing compared to how natural lara is at making this so convincing. she’s touching you at every opportunity, taking pictures of you each time you turn back to look at her, buying every thing you even look at. you know it’s all for show, but you can’t help but think of how easy she makes it seem. if felix was this competent, he’d be the one you’d want here right now, but lara does all the things you begged him to do, without having to be asked.

you guys are back on campus before 9pm, but you’re having too much fun. you spend a lot of time buried in anatomy textbooks or watching orthopedic surgeries, and tonight, you just want to enjoy it with your friends.

“we can go back to my room,” you offer to the group as you guys wander out of the parking garage. “i have a single.”

the group agrees, and the five of you make it to your dorm in just a few minutes walking. lara’s hand snakes into yours, and you feel your spine tingle.

“do you guys smoke?” manon raises her brows hopefully, holding up her bag. you guide them all up the stairs of the building and into your room, plugging in your twinkle lights.

“fuck yeah,” dani beams.

“aren’t we getting drug tested this week?” megan asks worriedly.

“next week, kiddo,” lara rubs the top of her head playfully. “and we’ll just skip you. no pressure.”

manon takes a pre-roll out of the hand-painted altoid tin in her purse and you head over to crack the window. in just a few minutes, you’re all laughing on the floor of your room, nodding along to music playing from your speaker, passing the joint around amongst the group.

“why didn’t they give you captain?” you ask lara. “you’re such a good role model. minus the recreational drug use and flirting with everyone you know.”

“they wanted to, actually. did you know that?” megan says, a bright grin on her lips.

“you said no?” you ask in surprise. lara is staring at the ground, thumb rubbing along the bottom of your braids.

“i didn’t want it.” she shrugs calmly, taking another inhale. “i like hockey, i just like other things too. can’t make it my whole life, duh.”

“plus, she doesn’t have the same face i do for interviews,” dani butts in, flexing dramatically. “cameras love the curls + dimple combo.”

manon snorts, and you and lara exchange smiles. you won’t talk about how comfortable it feels to have lara leaning against your shoulder, playing with your hair, the proximity of her washing a wave of comfort over you.

“hey do you guys think i have negative aura just ‘cause i didn’t smoke?” megan asks, nose wrinkling as she watches you guys hand the joint amongst yourselves.

“no. you’re bitchless because you’re scared of your own shadow,” daniela quickly answers, and megan’s face drops.

“bro, i can totally pull.”

“i see no bitches,” dani claps back. “all you do is text that tutor of yours. get her to at least show you a titty or something, come on.”

the four of you laugh in tandem as megan glares at the blonde.

“don’t talk about my tutor like that.”

“a boundary, from the baby?” lara all but cries, beaming so brightly you feel like she might fall over. “baby’s first boundary! get the camera!”

megan rolls her eyes and waves her off. you guys talk and talk into a random hour of the night, enjoying the calm of getting to know someone new and change up the routine just a bit. this yap session is a welcome change of pace, and you’ve never enjoyed yourself more than listening to dani debate with anyone who disagrees with her, watching megan push back weakly, manon simply laugh at everything, and lara reel it in when it gets too crazy while still adding fuel to the fire. you could stay like this forever, you think to yourself.

“it’s so late,” you realize as you finally look at your phone for the first time all night. “you guys can stay so you don’t have to walk back when it’s so dark.”

“i live next door,” megan tells manon, excusing herself. “this was fun.”

“we should totally do it again, thank you guys for being so fun,” manon smiles, before assessing your room. you have your bed, the extra bed, and a wide space between the two beds in the middle of the dorm. “if it’s okay to stay, i can totally sleep on the floor with no issue.”

“no way, you’re the guest,” you insist, reaching under your bed to locate your extra blankets. manon and dani start cleaning up the ash tray and trying to air out your room.

your brain runs through the possible combinations. manon on the floor, jordan finds out and kills you. dani on the floor, she’ll complain all night. you guys could figure out sharing beds, manon and dani could—

your eyes widen, and as if she’s thinking about the exact same combination, lara’s panicked gaze meets you at the exact same time.

“no fucking chance,” lara whispers. “the animal needs her own bed."

the only viable solution makes itself painfully clear as you shrug and whisper back to lara. “we could sleep on the floor.”

“perfect. always with the plans,” she beams back happily. lara directs the two, gesturing to the separate beds. “you’ll be here, and you’ll be here.”

“i can’t do that to you,” manon frowns, seeing you set up the pillow and blanket on the carpeted floor.

“it’s too small for us to both fit. we’re happier like this anyways,” lara insists, and it’s enough for manon to offer a smile of gratitude. everyone gets into their assigned spots, the smell of incense and the buzz of your fan lulling you into drowsiness after lara turns off your lights.

“good night manon, thanks for hanging out with us,” you tell her, happy to have made a new friend.

“say good night to me,” daniela pouts.

“you’re the reason we can’t make normal friends,” lara snips back.

manon laughs. “i love you guys already.”

“good night,” lara whispers in your ear as she arranges herself besides you, pressing a kiss into your hair. the feeling is so foreign coming from her, and yet you feel your body seek her out as you press back into her hug.

you close your eyes and let her pull you close. you know there’s an end in sight, but maybe you’ll let yourself pretend it could be longer.

the next morning, everyone disperses to their own dorms before the day starts. you make it through your classes though it’s a struggle with the lack of sleep. by the time you come out of your final class of the day, ready to head towards the ice rink to prepare for the girls’ practice, a familiar figure is standing outside your classroom, leaning against the wall. her eyes light up as she spots you.

“what are you doing?” you ask, seeing her practice bag slung over her shoulder.

“we date, so i walk you to practice,” she says simply, reaching out for you. “duh.”

you remember that her last class of the day ended over an hour ago, meaning she must have waited for you. you shake your head in surprise. “your class is closer to the stadium.”

“i’d rather walk with you,” she says back easily. perfect, charming lara raj, always ready to push back against your excuses.

“there’s no need to be that public,” you respond. ugh, why can’t you just accept the gesture. she wants to make your life so easy and yet something in you can’t accept the generosity.

“what if manon sees us and is wondering why we don’t seem loved up?” lara challenges you. “i’d hate to have her tell your sister we’re fighting.”

“more people might ask questions,” you whisper nervously.

“let them.” she smiles, forever a beacon of confidence. “not their business.”

you’re running out of reasons to push her away. “coach?”

“we can tell him it’s new. who’s he gonna tell?”

she takes your hand in hers, and you let her, wishing you had let her a long, long time ago.

it becomes way too easy to go through these motions with lara. when you’re alone, she’s respectful, never needing to make any advances that don’t suit the moment, allowing your friendship to still be anchored in some normalcy. the touches are intimate but never suggestive, the compliments are tender but never too intense, and she’s only ever kissed you on the head or on the hand.

but you start to struggle when you’re alone, craving her closeness but confused as to why you’d want that if it’s just the two of you. you think about the timeline of this insanely busy week. tomorrow, the pre-game party. day after, the championship game, and the day after that, you fly in the morning to make it to the wedding by the evening. your facade is coming to an end, and you know you guys should figure out what the story will be as to why you’ll inevitably “break up,” but each time you guys hang out late at night with manon, all you can focus on is immersing yourself in the experience.

you’re all laying on the floor of your dorm, smoking dani’s weed this time (megan as the exception, too nervous to risk it the week of such an important game) and chatting mindlessly. manon won’t be able to make it to tomorrow’s party, so you guys all make it a point to have another of your yap sessions in your room.

“with the exception of the obvious happy couple,” manon starts her question, staring up at the ceiling. “have you guys ever been in love before?”

“no.” megan’s nose wrinkles. “i just barely started kissing people.”

“a few times,” lara confesses, calmly. she had mentioned a few of her relationships back when you guys were just friends, a few flings you noticed her get caught up in. you never minded, lara was never ever supposed to hold back just because she had admitted to liking you, but you couldn’t help but wonder about these girls every time you noticed her get into something new. “maybe three. i’m not in the business of denying my feelings.”

“which one was the deepest?” manon asks curiously.

lara pauses, contemplating. you don’t expect anything from her. in 48 hours, she won’t owe you anything. but yet, perfect, angelic lara, always manages to catch you off guard.

“this one,” she says, and you can’t tear your eyes away from her. her confession rattles through your chest. “it’s like a dream, but i know it’s a dream, and i’m trying to enjoy it as much as i could before i have to wake up.”

you feel your pulse in your neck. manon and megan both turn to look at you. any other time, you’d avoid the question and leave it there– sure, you had liked felix, enough to stay with him all that time, but there was never anything about him that rattled you, that unnerved you and comforted you all at once. had you ever even really liked him in the first place? had you admired, respected, felt seen by him?

(had you ever once loved him, even half as much as you love lara raj?)

you let out a shaky breath. maybe you can be brave enough to say it out loud, just this time, let yourself pretend before it’s all over.

“once,” you finally admit. lara’s eyes come to meet yours.

“yeah?”

“perfect girl is easy to love,” you tell her simply. your chest warms and she brings her nose to rest against the tip of yours.

“once, for me too,” dani says, staring blankly at the ceiling. the admission surprises you, and you can tell lara and megan seem just as caught off guard. daniela lets out a quiet breath. “just once.”

“what happened?” you pry gently.

daniela laughs, and it’s the first time in the two years you’ve known her that you’ve ever heard her with a hint of something more in her voice. “it fucking hurt. i didn’t ever want to go through that again.”

“should i be scared?” megan asks, brows furrowing in concern.

“no,” daniela says quickly, waving her off. “i’m a lightning strike. being in love is so, so beautiful.”

“how do you know when it happens?” the ginger asks, voice gentle.

“you just know,” manon says simply.

megan pauses for a beat, before letting out a quiet breath. “i want to change my answer.”

“oh?” you ask.

“tutor girl?” lara arches a brow, turning away from you to peer over at the youngest girl.

“she’s so easy to like. she’s so, so smart, and so nice to me, even when she’s being playful, she’s doing it to make me laugh. she believes in me, through everything. every time i’m around her i just feel like i don’t have to be anyone but myself, whoever i am that day. i’ll call her when i’m on the road, and it makes me feel better.” megan doesn’t usually have this much to say about anything, and it warms you to hear her go on and on like this. she looks down at her hands, playing with her fingernails. “i invited her to the party tomorrow, and it sucks ‘cause i know i’ve got no fucking chance.”

“i think you’re really brave for letting yourself dive in. sometimes it just feels to say it out loud, even if nothing comes from it,” manon tells her, smiling in encouragement.

“i think i’m in love,” megan whispers quietly.

gentle snores are heard from the corner. you all peek over to see dani peacefully slumbering from her spot on the floor.

“leave her there,” lara laughs. “we’ll deal with her complaints in the morning.”

“can i stay here tonight?” megan asks, grimacing. “i can’t tell if my stomach hurts because of the party, the game, or the fact that i’m super down bad.”

“always,” you offer a nod of reassurance.

manon and megan shuffle in to fit into the other bed, and lara joins you in yours. dani’s quiet snores are somehow extremely comforting.

“thanks for letting me talk about it, guys,” megan thanks you quietly. manon smiles and the two turn back-to-back in the bed.

lara’s eyes are warm, still fixed on yours as you face each other in the tight squeeze into your twin bed. you close your eyes and curl up, lara resting her chin on the top of your head as she hugs you from the front. you feel your entire body melt into her.

her voice is gentle, and infinitely tender as she murmurs into your hair.

“y/n y/ln, i’m in love with you.”

“ugh. i want that,” manon groans from the bed.

you don’t open your eyes. lara’s voice lingers in your ears. what a beautiful song to fall asleep to.

the party the next day is 10x as insane as the girls initially told you it would be. bodies everywhere, volume threatening to split your eardrums. jordan has tried to call you at least twice to make final arrangements before her wedding in two days, but each time you try to find an empty room, you’ve found either yunjin and her girlfriend making out, a random group snorting something off a table, or a screaming couple in the middle of a fight. you make your way back downstairs and decide your sister can wait.

besides, it’s one of your last times getting to play house with lara. perfect and confident lara, who lights up as soon as she spots you coming back downstairs, handing you back the drink she had so dutifully been watching over.

“watch watch watch,” lara pulls you in, motioning over to the corner. “i think the baby is trying to make a move.”

you see your favorite awkward ginger and a cute little sorority girl in the corner of the room, trying to speak over the pounding loud music. you instantly recognize the body language between the two of them.

“uh, wrong. that girl is trying to make a move, and megan is in fight or flight.” you laugh, taking a sip from your drink. “except she’s doing neither, and instead she’s freezing.”

“okay, whatever, no more national geographic. let’s go get drunk,” lara grins devilishly, snaking an arm around your waist before she pulls you over towards a circle where daniela is holding some frat boy friend of hers hostage and getting him to drive the boat as she screams in laughter.

you’re still worried about baby megan though, until you see the familiar figure of her tutor slipping out the door, the ginger following soon after. you give them a few moments but they don’t come back in together. either megan will have a lot to share tomorrow morning, or you’ll have a lot for lara to ask about.

daniela comes around to everyone in the circle, pouring shots out into each of their mouths from the bottle of hennessy she’s got gripped. you laugh at the antics of the team captain. lara pulls you closer and you’re transfixed by the smell of her perfume, the softness of her hair on your bare shoulders as she anchors you close to her to dance.

you don’t mind getting lost in her, maybe this once.

you’re not sure how much time has passed of you two dancing, locked in your own little world, before dani is pouring shots out again, clearly trying to get rid of whatever of the bottle is left.

“where’s the baby?” dani asks as she gets to lara, pouring the shot and assessing the room around her.

“i saw her going outside like a half hour ago. hasn’t come back,” you inform her.

lara swallows down the shot and makes quick work of pulling out her phone, never once letting go of your waist. “it looks like she’s walking back from campus.”

you do the math. 20 minute walk to campus, she left 30 mins ago and is already heading back to you guys. 10 minutes with tutor girl? maybe you won’t ask her about what she got up to tonight or why she was gone. you guys chat a little longer before the ginger in question pops back in through the door, making her way to you guys with a frazzled expression.

“hi puppy dog,” lara welcomes her back, teasing grin on her face. “how was it?”

megan shakes her head, clearly disoriented. “i don’t even know any more.”

“i know how to fix it,” daniela reassures her, before dragging out a table in the middle of the circle you guys are in and dragging a few randoms to surround it. she lifts up the empty hennessy bottle before placing it on its side flat on the table. she cheers, stealing a cup from the girl next to her and downing its contents in one easy go. “spin that fuckin’ bottle, baby!”

lara laughs and holds her cup up to yours. your buzz has already set in, and you want to be coherent to get you all home that night, but one quick knock back won’t kill you. you grimace as you tap cups with her but swallow it down. daniela grins and cheers' her own cup against megan’s forehead (much to the younger girl’s displeasure) before screaming loudly about how the game is about to start.

lara is laughing along with you at dani’s antics. “she gives the hockey players such a bad fucking rep.”

for a split second, you second guess not inviting daniela to the wedding– if all went south, dani would know exactly how to create an incredible distraction as you ran away.

but instead, you have to be brave and face it head on.

with lara, you remember, and your chest loosens at the thought. you’re grateful it gets to be with her at your side.

“hanni pham, meet baby megs,” daniela beams, and you realize the bottle is pointing directly at your adopted ginger daughter. lara can’t stop laughing, and you get it– megan looks like she’s about to shit herself.

hanni, a cheerleader who you met in your communications class, seems to love the hollering of the circle as she struts over and plants a quick peck on the corner of megan’s mouth. dani is screaming at the top of her lungs for her to do more, but megan’s strong hands keep a polite placement on her shoulders to distance the two of them.

“thank you, um for that, but i’m good for the night,” the ginger wrinkles her nose sheepishly. “gonna go wait in the car.”

“another boundary,” lara emphasizes, turning to you, and the both of you laugh.

“our baby girl is so, so grown up,” you fake-cry, slipping a hand into the furthest pocket of her jacket. she pulls you in closer and the two of you realize each time you say something to each other, you miss what happens in the outside world. how beautiful to get to disappear away from it all with just a look.

the group is staring expectantly at you as you realize daniela’s on the couch, the swedish exchange student from your calculus class perched comfortably on her lap, the two of them oblivious to the world through their frenzied make out. you were next in line, thus it now being your turn.

you comply nervously, terrified to get paired with some gross stranger, but lara, perfect, confident lara, off one too many shots, reaches down to stop it with her thumb, causing it to land on her. you hear some groans, but a majority of the people in the group cheer you on, chanting your name as lara turns to face you, not once letting go of her grip on you.

your throat goes dry at the look she gives you. her dark eyes twinkling, her beautiful rich skin, shining from the heat of the party and the alcohol running through both of your veins.

“come here baby,” she beckons, smiling widely at you, bringing the hand not on your waist up to your neck. your skin tingles at the contact. “been wanting to kiss you all night, you’re so pretty.”

you have two choices: push back and make an excuse, or commit. and with all the bravery in the world, the bravery that perfect lara raj gives you, you’re able to push past the what-if’s and let yourself crash into her.

the kiss, tasting softly of lara’s gum and the drinks you’ve shared, is electrifying. you’ve never once allowed yourself to wander that far into imagining what kissing lara would be like, and you’re almost grateful. nothing could compare to how perfect kissing perfect, incredible lara raj would be. she’s confident and assertive, letting her tongue brush against your lower lip, your mind going absolutely blank as she tightens her grip on your waist.

“how was that?” she asks with a grin, and the rest of the world is lost to you guys once more.

“how do you think it was?” you ask back breathlessly, unable to form words beyond that.

“perfect,” she whispers, the smile she has threatening to split her mouth.

“okay,” you breathe. you can still feel the tingle of her lips on yours.

you don’t mention it once the hour is late and megan is dragging a half-slumped daniela into the car with you guys while lara offers a ride to meg’s crush’s little roommates. you don’t say a word about it as lara drops belle and minji off, then presses a kiss to your temple when she drops you and megan off at your building, insisting she can keep daniela in her room to keep an eye on her. you fall back into your bed after a quick shower, the feeling still lingering.

the end is near, and you know it. you decide you won’t think about it, and fall asleep.

you wake up to a knock on the door. you rise with a slight headache, letting out a quiet groan, before you peek out the peephole and recognize a flash of bright orange hair.

“can you help me?” megan asks fervently as you let her in. she holds up various materials: paper, pens, an envelope, and a bright red ticket. “i want to make something for someone, but i feel so fucking lost as to where to start.”

“you want to invite her to the game tonight?” you ask, connecting the dots.

“yes,” her eyes light up. “i’m giving her my spare ticket. front row, so she can see us.”

“the one you think you’re in love with?” you smile, loving the enthusiasm.

“i think i want to say something, or at least try.” megan nods, confidently for the first time since you’ve known her, and drops her voice into a sigh. “you don’t know how special it is to feel seen for yourself.”

“oh, i do,” you breathe, memories of the past two weeks taking over your head. you rub a reassuring circle into her back as she parks herself at your desk. you head over to the bathroom to take down your hair and start your morning routine. “say what you feel. i’ll stay with you if you’re nervous.”

“your sister’s wedding is tomorrow, right?” megan clarifies, looking up from the desk. “what happens after that? between you and lar.”

you feel a pang in your stomach. 24 hours left in your little charade, and now, you don’t know how to untangle everything you’ve intertwined with her. you feel your smile threaten to fall, but you try to put on a brave front for the concerned younger girl. “don’t worry about that. focus on you.”

“i don’t think you should end it so fast,” she responds, her eyes softening. you hate the way her puppy dog eyes pierce straight into your heart. “you guys have something really amazing there.”

“it’s not real,” you remind her.

“looks pretty real to me,” she tells you back simply, and it lingers with you. you shake it off and approach her to start braiding her hair for the game.

lara has to do follow-up interviews with dani and the team following their championship win, and she promises to make it on the first flight out to your hometown. you’re kind of grateful she misses the rehearsal dinner, since manon does nothing but gush about how beautifully in love you and lara is and how she’s certain you guys will be doing this in no time. jordan, suspicious of you until manon opens her mouth, simply presses a kiss into your temple.

“happy you’re happy, sis. maybe the quiet ones do win every once in a while.”

lara stays at a hotel instead of with you and your parents in order to give you guys somewhere to drop the act. you find it increasingly difficult to remember what it used to be like before the touches, before the embraces, before falling asleep together every night.

she looks so beautiful in her incredible dress and your dad can’t stop gushing over what a peach she is. your step-mom, who never approves of anything you do, doesn’t look completely unimpressed by the gorgeous date you’re seated with. you’ll take it as a win.

the ceremony goes off without a hitch, and you make it to the reception dinner in one piece. halfway through the night without incident is a huge win. and lara, perfect, charming lara, is making friends with every person she introduces herself to, a cheeky compliment for every aunt of yours in their sunday best or every cousin asking suspiciously if you’re actually together. she finds the perfect balance of affection, not too much to be overdoing it, but just enough to keep you feeling calmed throughout the night.

“you play hockey with y/n?” your stepmom asks as she and your dad join you at the table with lara and manon as you all eat. you bite back a groan, considering you’ve explained a million times that you don’t play, just help treat the players.

“i play goalie, yes,” lara smiles good-naturedly. “y/n basically is there to patch us up after every game. contact sports can take quite the toll on the body.”

“what do you want to do with hockey?” your dad asks curiously. you can see your sister and your new brother-in-law dancing like idiots behind him on the dancefloor and let out a content sigh. somehow, lara is carrying herself without a single bit of help needed, and it soothes your anxious nerves.

“reminisce about it fondly when i’m old and grey,” lara laughs. “i just finished this sophomore season, so i’ve got two more seasons playing collegiate, and that’s it for me and hockey. after i graduate, i’m going to do a fellowship with a clinic.”

“physical therapy, like y/n?” manon asks curiously.

“marriage and family therapy. i want to be a therapist. i would love to work with student athletes.”

“no way,” you breathe quietly. how has lara never mentioned this? she had started school as a business major.

“my friends have a hard time balancing school and sports and some of them are really hurting over it. i’ve always been lucky enough to have good grades.”

“nobody should ever have to pick something they love over their wellbeing,” your step-mom says to no-one in particular, and you swear there’s something like approval in her eyes.

“lara is an extremely nurturing person,” you tell your dad in particular. “i think she’ll make a huge impact in whatever she does.”

“well, miss raj, i hope y/n doesn’t hide you away from us any more. i’d love to see you around more often,” he smiles, and you two exchange a glance.

“that’s up to y/n, isn’t it?” she asks, something twinkling in her eyes.

“i’m certainly thinking about it,” you smile back. the night is won.

you come back with her to her hotel room so you can celebrate the victory in peace, without worrying about your family overhearing.

“did i kill it, or did i destroy it?” she beams excitedly, kicking her heels off as she swipes one of the shots from the minibar in the fridge. “that went so fucking smooth.”

“you were perfect.” you could cry. perfect, angelic lara raj, making the impossible happen. a weight is lifted off your shoulders.

“i told you parents really like me,” she beams brightly, swooping you up in both arms to snake her arms around your waist and pull you in to a hug.

“everyone really likes you,” you laugh, pushing her back, but her arms stay locked around you. you could push again, but you don’t want to.

she’s never held you like this, behind closed doors. you don’t know what possesses you to let her. memories of your kiss from spin the bottle race through your mind. you feel your mouth go dry as you realize what your body is seeking– it wants to kiss her again.

“all that matters is what you think about me,” she tells you.

you simply hum in response, feeling her hands trace lower on your hips.

“hey, y/n,” she whispers into your ear, the warm breath sending a shiver down your spine. “remember how when this all started, you wanted me to tell you if things ever got too blurry?”

you nod, your words caught in your throat. you barely manage to get anything out. “it’s over now, don’t worry.”

“that’s the issue. it’s supposed to be over, but…” she trails off, her fingers tracing circles into your back. she looks away, but you feel a sudden wave of bravery take over you, and you reach around her neck to trace gentle lines into her nape. her eyes come back to you, dark and hooded.

“tell me,” you press gently, and the room feels like it might collapse in on you both.

“lines are a little blurry,” lara breathes.

“i think i’m okay with that, if you are,” you whisper back.

“you already know what i think,” lara says, almost as an accusation. but then she’s reaching for the zipper on the back of your dress, eyes flickering to you as if to ask for permission.

you push past your own thoughts and let yourself capture her lips with your own, an answer to her question. you won’t overthink it, not this time.

you wake to an empty bed, the smell of lara’s skin still lingering on the sheets. you inhale deeply as you try to hear for the shower in the bathroom, maybe her voice if she’s in the hallway on the phone. but as you hear nothing, you sit up, and realize lara’s belongings are all completely gone. she left without letting you know? after all that? you can’t wrap your head around a viable explanation, so you reach for your phone. among the texts from your friends and family, you see lara’s contact, a text from 30 minutes ago.

changed my flight. i added late check out so don’t worry about overstaying. we can talk when you’re back on campus. be safe.

you see the next notification.

6 missed calls.

all from felix.

you feel your heart sink. lara has always been a light sleeper, first to rise at the slightest noise. you can only imagine what she must’ve felt seeing his contact pop up over and over, so insistently, as if he’s even entitled to your attention any more. your heart aches at the thought of lara’s confusion.

(that’s not to even touch on your own confusion– where does all this leave the two of you?)

you call her immediately.

“lara,” you say, and it’s like a warning and a question all in one. “i haven’t talked to him since the breakup. i don’t know what he wants, and i don’t care.”

the line is silent for a moment, and you’re caught off guard. you can hear the airport PA system from behind her, but you’re more surprised at how quiet she is. lara, confident and forward, always has something thoughtful and ready to say, forever the model of composure. she finally lets something out, and you feel your heart break all over again.

“i know you, y/n, and i wasn’t ready to hear you tell me it was over.” she confesses, and her voice sounds so, so painful over the phone. you wish you could wrap her in your arms then and there. “i got lost in it, i know i did, maybe it was selfish because you just got out of something serious, and i wanted you to myself.”

“lar, i’m sorry. what are you thinking right now?” you ask, but you quickly realize it’s the wrong question. her tone changes quickly, faster now, almost insistent.

“no, y/n, please stop. you do this thing, where you won’t give a clear answer. you’ll just ask questions and put all the options out on the table and let people draw their own conclusions.”

“here’s my clear answer,” lara continues. “you are my favorite person on this planet, and i’m so serious about that. so i want to hear it from your mouth. i want to hear what you pick, no bullshit, no yielding to let me make the final choice. with a super clear head, i want you to pick me, or not pick me, knowing all the facts and hearing me say it first. you need to have the final say in something for your life.”

you’re in complete shock, staring into the mirror as she presses forward, her voice firm over the hum of the phone.

“i won’t hate you, if you don’t pick me,” she tells you, voice softening, always the reassuring one. “but i wanted to make sure you knew that i’d pick you if it came down to it, and i’ll be waiting patiently for you to pick me. just how i always have.”

“lar…”

“think about it,” is all she says, before the line goes dead, and you’re left alone with your thoughts.

the airport makes you sick to your stomach and all you want to do is just talk to lara, but you know she deserves more thought than just your anxious impulse. a clear head, and no hesitation. you owe it to lara.

a day of traveling later, and you’ve dragged your bags with you to the hockey rink. megan, yunjin, and dani are all there, taking practice shots into the net even though the season won’t start up again until the fall time.

you see lara’s gear on the bench, but she’s nowhere on the ice to be seen. you hunt a little further to see her in the very top nosebleed seats of the stadium, watching the three practice intensely. you don’t hesitate before racing up the seats, and your stomach drops as she locks eyes on you. her eyes are distant, cold even, but you can’t blame her. she deserves answers.

“i need to tell you something,” you press, sitting down in the seat next to her.

she lets out a quiet breath and turns to face you. you reach out, holding her face in your hands, and your heart aches. she is so impossibly perfect. the truth, as much as it terrifies you, is the least she deserves.

“that night, our kiss, the past two weeks, it meant everything to me,” you admit, your voice shaky. “maybe i’m worried that i’ll lose you as a friend, if we take this leap, but we tried on these hats and it was honestly the most perfect experience ever. and you are so, so perfect, it would be impossible to not want to be with you, and i’m sorry i was such a coward about what i asked of you without acknowledging what it meant for us. it was unfair and it was confusing.”

her eyes warm, but you drop your hands. you have something more to add, the part she truly does deserve, and the part you’ve been too afraid to confront. you continue, your heart threatening to leap out of your chest.

“i need to choose myself, for just a little bit. i’m not going to ask if that’s okay, because i know you’d tell me it is even if it isn’t,” you tell her, and she laughs quietly in response. you take it as the encouragement you need to keep going. “i'm going to be alone for a little bit, i won’t go back to my ex, i won’t find someone new, i just need to be alone to figure some things out, and i’m going to tell you to go do your thing and not wait up for me. if we can be friends through it, that would be amazing, but if not, i won’t hate you either.”

you drop your head slightly to meet her gaze. she’s looking up at you with something in between heartache and pride, and you know exactly how she feels. there’s something painfully bittersweet about the moment.

“i need just a little time to learn how to be a better me, and then it’ll be my turn to come ask you to pick me,” you whisper, tracing your finger across her lips, your favorite lips, before resting your hand on her cheek once more. “and i’ll be okay if you don’t pick me, or if by then you’ve picked someone else.”

“i’m proud of you for this,” she says simply, wrapping an arm around your shoulders to pull you into a hug.

you feel hot tears pricking at your eyes, but you manage to smile at her anyways. the end of one chapter, the start of another, you can only hope.

your dad has asked about lara every single time you call for the past few months, and you simply navigate around the question with expert precision. you can’t tell him everything, but you can tell him parts of the truth.

we get to see each other every day. we’re still the team moms. daniela still conspires to make us get married. we’re going to see each other over the summer once the semester ends.

you won’t tell him about how your sleepovers have stopped, and you guys haven’t been alone together in a room since the day after the wedding. she’s still so, so nice to you, but there’s a boundary now.

it’s not awkward, as much as you know things could have ended in disaster. perfect, generous lara raj, who’s always put your friendship ahead of whatever feelings have come up for her, doesn’t flirt with you any more, but still makes an effort to make you feel seen.

manon, who you got so close to that she moved in as your dorm roommate, is shockingly understanding as you come clean and tell her everything. nobody makes the dissolution of your fake relationship weird, and your family is none the wiser. you come out relatively unscathed from the whole thing, the only casualty being you and lara. your friendship is different, you guys aren’t as close, but that’s okay, because she’s still in your life, and that in itself is more than enough.

except for tonight, two weeks before finals, where you decide it’s the night to put into practice all the growing you’ve done to stop being so scared of the what-if’s. it’s your turn to be confident and brave, and let the potential win outweigh the risks.

you feel your stomach lurch as you call her, the starting part of your plan. you guys don’t do this any more, the late night phone calls, so you’re half expecting to have to pivot to a plan b, but she answers by the second ring.

“y/n,” she says simply, and you feel your stomach flip at how genuinely excited she sounds. what an angel.

“hi,” you breathe. “um, just curious about your plans tonight.”

“what’s up?” she asks, half-curious, half-suspicious in her tone.

“are you free?” you ask again.

“for you?” she asks, and you half-expect her to turn you down then and there. but she doesn’t and her soft tone makes your heart thud. “always.”

“no, don’t start,” you wrinkle your nose. “i’m supposed to be the one trying to charm you.”

“charm me? why?” she asks, and you can practically hear the smirk on her lips. ugh, it was almost easier when you guys were back to being just friends. you wouldn’t get this flustered this easily.

“i want to see you when i say it.” you shake your head, feeling the familiar flush that lara leaves you with. “damn, you’re throwing me off. ugh, lara, okay just, come to your car.”

“my car?”

“i have your keys, before you freak out. dani helped me. so just come to the car and be patient.”

you hang up, and you wait eagerly. grand gestures aren’t your thing, but they’re lara’s, so you figure she deserves something that reflects how well you know her.

she arrives, and you can’t suppress your smile as she takes it all in. her car, filled to the brim with pink balloons, three different bouquets of flowers in the passenger’s seat. you’ve decorated it with pictures of the two of you from your years of friendship, including countless of candids taken by the girls of the two of you together. on the dashboard, you have a giant, handwritten sign with pictures of lara’s face, and in big bold letters: #17, GO OUT WITH ME?

her eyes are wide, and you wonder if you’ve maybe gone too far with everything. in the months since the wedding, you guys have stayed friends, sure, but maybe you misread her? maybe this wasn’t the grand gesture you thought it would be?

“y/n…” lara starts, before offering you an apologetic furrow of her brows. “i have a girlfriend.”

you feel your stomach sink. you’ve deleted your instagram since all this happened, and you and lara don’t talk about those kinds of things any more, plus megan was so heartbroken about you guys not ending up together, it’s super possible she didn’t want to mention the new relationship to you. plus plus, daniela’s terrible with secrets, so why would she help you with this whole thing in the first place, but she can absolutely show up when she needs to– damn. your shot disappears in front of your very eyes.

“oh my god, lar, i’m so sorry. i um–” you stammer.

she’s staring at you with those dark eyes, before a stupid grin takes over her stern features. “hah! see, told you you should have jumped on me sooner.”

you feel your eyes nearly bug out of your head. oh my god.

“what do you think i’m going to say to you right now?” you nearly growl, your heart still pounding at the near miss.

lara screams laughing, nearly doubling over as she pokes a finger into your cheek. your skin jumps at the contact. “hopefully you’ll say, kiss me and be mine, no more waiting.”

you sigh and take her face in both hands, emboldened by your new outlook on life. no more being afraid.

“lara raj, i’m sorry for making you wait. thank you for being so, so perfect, and letting me be ready for you. i’d like to love you for a really long time, if that’s–” you pause, realizing you were about to ask for her permission.

you clear your throat and look her directly in the eyes. “you better let me love you until the earth blows up.”

“i like that so much better than what i thought you’d up with,” she beams brightly, opening the door to he car and sitting in the drivers seat, motioning for you to come towards her.

“i bet you do,” you laugh, letting her pull you into her lap.

“told you we’d fall in love eventually,” she grins cheekily.

you sigh and press a fingertip against her nose. “actually, i was in love with you way before all this. just needed to figure some things out.”

for the first time since you’ve known her, lara raj is speechless.

“got your fine ass,” you grin, before you lean in. “now that you’ve shut up, i’m going to kiss you.”

“you were so, so worth the wait,” she whispers, and you let yourself believe her. the girl of your dreams, perfect and confident lara raj, and she’s finally yours.

#lara raj x reader #lara raj #katseye x reader #lara raj imagine #lara x reader #katseye #katseye lara #☆ﾟ coolwyous works.#☆ﾟ coolwyous - sweet like bubblegum.

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krysxroom · 20 days ago

Text

✨Well, well, well... look who wandered in.❣️ If you’re just joining me—welcome, lover. You’ve found a space that’s soft, sweet, and just the right kind of sinful. Before you kick off your shoes and get comfy, let’s set a few ground rules so we can keep things delicious and drama-free. 💋

Feeling generous? If you’re enjoying the view, the vibe, or just want to show your appreciation for this divine little sanctuary I’ve created, you’re more than welcome to tip me via links below or treat me via my Amazon wishlist. Your support keeps the magic flowing—and maybe unlocks a little something extra. 😏

And yes, baby, I do have an OnlyFans. $14.99/month for the good stuff. The kind of stuff I don’t post here. You know where to click. Don’t keep yourself waiting. 💌

Now let’s talk boundaries—because I’m sugar and spice, but I don’t play.🥹

🚫 21+ only, love. This is a space for grown, sexy energy. If you’re under 21 or hiding behind a blank, bot-like profile... I’ll have to block you. Nothing personal—just keeping the vibe cute, real, and respectful.

📬 My DMs are like my lingerie drawer—private. I only open them for mutuals, and only if you’re respectful, flirty and generous. Want to chat? Come correct... or come bearing gifts.

🍑 Nudes aren’t free, sweetheart. I’m a fantasy, not a free-for-all. Want more of me? Show me you mean it. Links below, wishlist, or subscribe to my OF. Otherwise, enjoy what I choose to share here—and be grateful for the treat.

🍆 Unsolicited dick pics? Not cute. Not clever. Not welcome. I’m sure it’s adorable, but unless I ask for it (or you’re paying for a rating), keep it tucked away. Be a good boy.

💭 Yes, I post thirst traps. Yes, I post selfies. But I also talk about what’s on my heart—feelings, politics, truth. If you’re not ready for a real woman with depth and desire, this might not be the space for you. I’m not just eye candy—I’m mind, body, and mood.

🫱🏽‍🫲🏾 I’m here for friendships and sweet little transactions. That’s the kind of exchange I enjoy—clear, sexy, and respectful.

👑 And let me be crystal clear: I am a proud Black woman. This space is sacred, sensual, and soulful. All are welcome—if you come with love and manners. Play nice or don’t play at all.

🏳️‍🌈 This is a safe space for the girls, the gays, the theys... and the men who know how to treat a woman right. 🖤

✨ All links in below, babe. Don’t make me wait. Got a question? Don’t be shy. I love a curious mind.

Now behave… or give me a reason not to. 😘

#florida girl #blktumblr #your favorite girl #Spotify

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hypernova-writes · 6 months ago

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*in sad orphaned Canadian child voice* please... please do the rest of the pregnancy reveals, I'd give you a Looney, but I am all out. 🥺

a/n: Of course you can have the rest~! also only reason pyro isn't on here is that I have a fic planned with them about adoption!

Mercs finding out their S/o is pregnant! Spy,Medic,Engineer,Heavy,Soldier

Spy

You already knew how Spy felt about kids. And normally you two were so so careful because of this. You knew that he was Scout's father and how he was absent from his life. And you desperately didn't want to lose the relationship you had with him.

So you hid it. Swore Medic that he wouldn't say a thing. But the doctor was concerned.

"Y/n. I know you do not vant to tell Zhe Spy..but it could be dangerous if you go out on that battle field, and respawn vhile vith child." "I can't let him figure out Medic. I have to make it seem like I am normal."

You began shying away from his touch, not allowing Spy to touch your stomach, you hid the medicines Medic gave you for morning Sickness, and went out on missions as little as possible.

To Spy, something was fishy from the beginning. He'd notice you frequenting Medic's office, changing the size of your clothes, not wearing the stuff he'd bought for you previously.

Then when you started shying away from his touch, he just assumed you were setting a new boundary at first. Until he saw that you allowed MEDIC of all people to touch your stomach.

So today, he invited you to his smoking room, he saw that you were hesitate to enter, so he puts out his cigarette. He turns to you, his mask was off as he walked up to you.

"Care to explain.." He shows you the ultrasound photos, and you felt your breath hitch. He walked over to you to caress your face.

"You rather put yourself in danger, zhan tell me zhat you are pregnant?" "Spy-" "Non. I am talking. Why would you do zhis?"

Spy says as he lowers his hand to caress your stomach. "You put our child in danger. You're to stop immediatly. anything you need, I will take care of. Zhis is our child."

"I..I was.."

"Afraid. and zhat is my fault. but. I do not want to possibly lose you both because Of how i used to feel."

Spy holds you, allowing you to finally relax in his arm.

"I will be a better dad. For our child. I will not repeat my mistakes.."

Medic

(This is a bold of you to assume that Medic doesnt ALREADY kno-)

"Oh mein schätzchen! something has come up as an anomaly in your system! I'm gonna run some tests!"

Medic knew EXACTLY what it was, but he wanted to make sure that was what it was before he got all giddy.

He walked over and gave you a kiss before collecting the sample from you.

Medic was a wonderful lover, he always made sure to take care of you. His aftercare was amazing and he would always make sure that you were alright.

He was also the type of person to track your ovulation cycle. Medic really wanted to have a kid (i head canon that he is really good with kids-). So he tracked it so he would know when the perfect time to get you pregnant.

"Ah! My My I vas correct!"

He returns to your side and grabs your hand. "Ve're going to be expecting! You are pregnant!"

You kinda had a feeling, because of the morning sickness, but the giddy and happy expression on Medic face as he started to ramble off about baby things and eveything he needed to get ready and how he needed Heavy's helping building a crib was adorable to you.

"You seem more happier than I am baby.." "I Just might be! I've always vanted to be a Vater!"

Engineer.

This man RADIATES father energy. He'd already like the dad of the group (alongside heavy).

The two of you weren't trying to have a kid, but Engineer surely wasn't wrapping it before he tapped that sweet ass of yours. So when you fell pregnant, you were excited.

You would make your way to his workshop, ultrasound photo in hand as you skipped up to him. "Dell babykins!"

Engineer turns you with a smile on his face. "Howdy love of my life~. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

You smile as you bring him away from his desk, and making him sit on the edge of the bed as you begin handing him things.

First you hand him a mug that says #1 Dad on it. Then you hand him a cute baby tool set you had found made all out of squishy toys, this makes him chuckle.

"Awe thanks sugarpie-" "That isn't all!" "Now what in tarnation do you have there"

You hand him the envelope and watch as he opens it while mumbles somethings to himself.

"Now sugarplum what is th-" He cuts himself off as he sees the picture, he tilts his head before he covers his mouth with his hand.

The two of you stand in silence for a bit before Engineer feels the tears start to run down his cheeks.

"Y-you're..W-we're..?"

You nod, making him him pull you into a hug, he rocks you back and forth pressing kisses all over your face.

You could tell he was excited, no more words needed to be spoken between the two of you.

Heavy

(Think of this as a continuation from his kinktober-)

Heavy noticed a change in your routine ever so slightly

At first it started with you stopping drinking after matches, it peeked his interests because usually you'd share a drink with them after a battle well done.

He could understand that, he barely drank as it is, so when you stopped he respected your wishes.

Then he would see that you stopped eating certain things, staying away from seafood in particular, usually you were first in line whenever they decided to get together and make a seafood boil or bake/fry fish. You were turn it down, sometimes the smell alone got you nauseous.

Now when you stopped fighting? Oh Heavy was worried now. So he took you to Medic.

"DOKTOR! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH WIFE!"

Medic runs tests on you, and asks you simple questions before turning to Heavy.

"Vell..Congratulations! your vife is pregnant!"

Cue Heavy wanting to SMACK himself for not realizing the signs. He helped his mother around when she was pregnant with his sisters, so he was surprised he didn't realize that's what was wrong with you.

"I..should've known forgive me.."

You give him plenty of kisses and just ask for him to give you a massage.

Soldier

You would have to break it down for Soldier.

Because while he does understand that women can have children, and that you could possible bear his child. But his understanding stops there. Like he's not that stupid, it's just he just doesn't understand womans anatomy completely.

"Solly, Look!" You decide to sit him down on his bed, showing him a picture of an ultra sound that you'd gotten done.

"AND WHAT IS THIS A PICTURE OF?" "A baby Solly! Our baby!"

Soldier tilts his head, "OURS?" Soldier takes the photo and holds it close to his face. "BUT IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE OURS"

"That's because he's only a few months Solly, soon when he's born, he'll have our features."

"HE?" "Mhm. We're having a son!"

That'll make him excited.

He'll pick you up and twirl you around, kissing your cheek. He'll put you down and quickly ran out of the room.

"I AM GOING TO BE A FATHER!!!"

Pyro isn't in here because i have a seperate fanfic!!

#tf2 fanfiction #tf2 x reader #tf2 fandom #tf2 fanfic #team fortress 2 #team fortress 2 x reader #tf2 #team fortress 2 imagines #Tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier #tf2 spy x reader #tf2 medic x reader #tf2 engineer x reader #tf2 heavy x reader #tf2 solider x reader

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deepestdelulu · 5 months ago

Text

Being your own best friend

Babes, It's time to become your own best friend, showing yourself kindness, empathy, and respect!! Being your own bestie is KEY to inner peace and happiness. <3

Self-care is a priority!! Skincare, alone time, reading, and so on. Don't feel bad for taking care of yourself!!

Set boundaries and learn to say no when necessary. It takes time to establish boundaries but keep making them clear!! You got this :)

Treat yourself like you would treat your best friend. Be kind, supportive, and forgiving towards yourself. Also, don't speak badly about yourself!!

Positive affirmations. "I am enough", "I deserve to be happy", "I'm the hottest person on the entire fucking planet, and everyone is madly in love with me." <3

Take care of your body, bestie!! Eat nutritious foods, get enough sleep, and stay hydrated…

Invest time in your hobbies. Keep doing what makes you happy, and make it a priority to actually make time for those things!! I've been trying to crochet a sweater; I'm going to be unstoppable once I'm done, just wait…

Avoid toxic people and situations!! Boundaries baby!! Don't waste your energy!!

Embrace cringyness. This may sound stupid, but life is so much more fun when you don't care about being cringy; also, most memorable moments are always a bit cringe!! <3

Prioritize your mental health. Journal, meditate, and go to therapy if necessary!! It's 2024, we all go to therapy; take care of yourself :)

Celebrate all your achievements and successes!! Got good grades? SLAYYY!! Made scrambled eggs? SLAYY!! Got into Harvard Law? What, like it's hard??

Remember, being your own best friend takes time, but it's worth it for a lifetime of self-love and happiness. Let's support each other on this journey!! :)

As always, please feel free to share your own suggestions and tips in the comments! <3

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

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autisticsupervillain · 2 years ago

Text

Autistic Avatars not realizing that they're Avatars because they're just "like that": a thread

The Eye

Special Interest in the supernatural = constant food for The Watcher

You know about Interest? TELL ME EVERYTHING

"Hey man listen to me infodump about this horrifying ghost story I read for twenty minutes, alright?"

I need to Know everything about something before I partake in it.

"How did I Know that? Eh, I probably hyperfixated on it at some point."

I cannot be misunderstood so I'll beam the facts into your brain.

The Web

I must plan everything 200 steps in advance before doing anything.

I have prepared for all possible outcomes, I can now have this one conversation.

If I set up all these variables long in advance, then I can do everything correctly and Win the social interaction.

I cannot do anything before The Plan says to.

"I practice my social skills by talking to my spider friends." -Martin "Autism" Blackwood

The Stranger

I cannot socialize without being Uncanny.

If my socialization seems like an act, that's because it is. I practice it in the mirror every day.

Theater Kid

How do you Normal Human?

The Anatomy Class.

Assuming fellow Stranger Avatars also just have the 'Tism. They're not trying to be creepy, honest.

Can't do faces. Doesn't notice when you get replaced.

Being subtly off is too subtle for me.

The Lonely

"I have failed the social interaction. Let the fog reclaim me."

Talking to people is draining my batteries even faster than ever. I need to be alone for approximately 384,400,000 years.

Nothing can overstimulate me in the cool, blinding fog.

Nothing unpredictable can happen in the fog.

The fog is your friend.

The known connection between autism and depression feeds the fog.

The Dark

Why is the sun so god damn bright? I'm going to blow it up I swear.

Night Owl.

Everything's decently quite at night and people leave you alone.

Same overstimulation preventatives as the Lonely tbh. Dark and fog are good concealers.

The dawn is your enemy.

The dread florescent lights shall never bother me again. They break upon my arrival.

Can and will infodump to the monster under my bed. Even now it feels like it listens.

The Spiral

Autism makes getting other mental illnesses recognized hard.

Autism dissociation from body and mind. When did it become 3 AM and why do I hurt? Why am I grumpy? What vital self care task did I forget?

Literal mind doesn't often match reality. Reality is specifically unspecific.

Spaced out and wandered off. Where the fuck am I?

I'm not a mental baby, please stop treating me like it.

I'm not inherently dangerous, please stop treating me like it.

Memory problems my beloathed. Did that happen? I dunno.

What Is Time?

What Is Me?

The Gender

Why do things only make sense to me? What does no one else make sense?

The Flesh

Autism Genderfuckery = Flesh fueled dysphoria.

Meat is the only texture that's palatable. Especially the Mystery Meat.

Will never try any other foods. Too picky.

Infodumps about the horrors of meat processing at dinner and ruins the meal for everyone. More steak for me.

Hates PETA.

Double the arms means double the stim. You weren't using them, right?

Working out is a great stim.

The Corruption

Practices social interaction with the bugs who live in my walls.

"Insects are disgusting. I love them!"

Will protect endangered insects by any means necessary.

According to all known laws of aviation-

Relationship boundaries struggles.

Difficulty noticing sickness symptoms.

Is that nausea or am I overstimulated? *Accidentally causes supernatural plague outbreak*

Difficulty getting diseases diagnosed because of both Autism and noticing too many symptoms so the doctors assume they're faking.

Forgot vital hygiene needs.

The Bugs Are My Friends! They keep me company when I'm sick!

The Buried

Weighted blankets are insufficient, I need the Earth to reclaim me.

Avoid social interaction by tunneling everywhere like a mole.

101 facts about worms.

Forgor hygiene again. Time to become dirt.

Digging a hole is good stimming.

That guy who had to be buried alive to sleep properly. What do you mean you don't want to be buried?

The End

Aradia Megido from Homestuck.Com

That's it, that's the list.

The Desolation

The Autism Temper.

Losing relationships and friendships to ableism and your own disability constantly.

The Fire is a wonderful stim board. Watch it crinkle.

Just watching candles melt for hours.

The fire and thrill gives my life passion again.

Jude Perry.png

The Vast

Accidentally terrifying people by infodumping about the horrors of nature.

The stimulus of falling.

Nature/Space/Weather Documentary on in background always.

Okay, but from how high did you fall? I want to calculate your velocity as you fell through the void.

Weirdly enough... power scaling?

Power scaling is just the art of determining how easily your favorite characters can destroy mankind so... yeah, I can see it.

Brain empty, only terminal velocity.

The Hunt

Cat Autism

The inherent hyperfocus of the hunt. The chase. Your prey.

Studying the habits of your latest hyperfixation/Hunt assigned prey for days at a time.

I've spent so much time hunting in the woods that I forgot about human society. The Missing Person's Bureau have written you off for dead.

Returning to society to sell your wears and realizing you aren't human anymore.

That's okay. Social interaction is random. The Hunt makes sense.

It's black and white. Predator and prey. Humans hunting monsters. It Makes Sense.

The Slaughter

The incredible human WW1 documentary.

"Did you know?" *Describes horrible historic warcrime*

Takes apart puts back together guns from their collection.

The list of known casualties from this war is incomplete. With my help, they can expand it. :)

The Extinction

The world is spiraling towards its end and only you seem to care.

It hurts to be this passionate about a lost cause.

You Will Make Them Care.

#the magnus archives #autism #the eye #the web #the stranger #the lonely #the dark #the spiral #the flesh #the corruption #the buried #the end #the desolation #the vast #the hunt #the slaughter #the extinction

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solarsturniolo · 4 months ago

Text

I have one more thing to say about the entire situation and then i’m done.

The sturniolo tumblr community is as tight and supportive as it is, because we made it to be like that. Twitter and Reddit are full of snark pages and negativity, tiktok is still in their babying phase, and instagram really isn’t much of a sturniolo community because it’s so widespread.

Tumblr is supposed to be a safe space. Even with a good amount of older fans in this community, it is our responsibility to make it a safe space for the younger ones. I remember being in the one direction fandom when i was 12 and being so infatuated with the older fans because I thought they were so cool. I wanted them to like me, so I was almost more than willing to do anything they wanted just so they would like me.

As an adult, it is entirely your responsibility to make good choices. You don’t have to shun younger people in the fanbase, but it is your responsibility to make it a safe space for them to express their creative outlets without feeling like they’re being preyed on. I love my younger mutuals like they’re siblings. I want to give them all a cake pop and a big hug and tell them how proud I am of them, and if they ever need anything that I am here for them. THAT is the type of community you are supposed to build.

And yes, it’s also the other person’s responsibility to have good judgement and respond appropriately in these situations, but they are also children. At that age, you don’t have the strongest understanding of boundaries and how to set them, and a lot of younger fans want to feel accepted and liked by the older fans, making them easily impressionable because they will do anything to feel that acceptance.

My point is that you do not have to prove yourself to feel accepted by me. I have many mutuals who would say the same thing. You do not have to prove yourself to be liked, to be acknowledged, to be interacted with, or to be accepted by me. You are safe with me.

Please remember to stay safe and be cautious when speaking to strangers on the internet. My heart goes out to every single person that was affected and impacted by this person and the disgusting things they said and did. We are proud of you for standing up and sharing your stories. You are not alone, you are supported and loved. Please stay safe.

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo x reader #i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism #sturniolo imagine

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bunnysdollette · 2 months ago

Note

Girl I’m tired of worrying about these men 🧍 how do we stop worrying about them?

⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ how 2 decenter men ₊🎀 ˚. 🫧🌺

⤷ Hey babes 🥺 so sorry for not having a real post in so long. This life thing been hard. Hopefully this can make up for it. I thought long and hard about how to put necessary information into this post, because it is such an important question. You should always remember to love yourself more than your desire for a man.

.❀。🛟• *₊°。 🌺❀°。 .❀。🐬• *₊°。 🌞❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀ 🫧 .❀。

┈➤ 🏖️ SECTION ONE: LOVE URSELF 1ST 🦩 ✧˖°

the key to stop worrying about anyone really is truly loving yourself to the point where no external person can disrupt your peace.

if you know you really struggle with decentering men, it’s time to go back to the basics angel. answer these 3 quick questions for me

Do you crave external validation from men constantly and go out of your way to impress them?

Are men usually the center of your universe and when you find yourself worrying about one you struggle to achieve your goals and have a peaceful state of mind?

Do you base your self worth based on how much a man loves you

💬…If you answered yes to any of these questions, honey we have some work to do. Just by quickly surveying your behaviors when it comes to men, we can come to the conclusion that you are pouring wayyy too much energy into men and not into YOU. And that’s a NONO 🙅🏾‍♀️.

In this post imma put yall on game to decentering men and refocusing your energy into yourself, b/c as I like to say YOUR 👏🏾ENERGY 👏🏾IS 👏🏾 SACRED 👏🏾honey and not everyone should have access TO it, period. 💅🏾

.❀。🛟• *₊°。 🌺❀°。 .❀。🐬• *₊°。 🌞❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀ 🫧 .❀。

┈➤ SECTION TWO: MEN ARE NOT A BIG DEAL. 🥱💁🏾‍♂️ ✧˖°

I need you to get this through that thick pretty skull of yours that men are NOT a big deal. Do you really think u were put on this earth to try and please a man who plays in your face constantly or feeling bad for not having one, when u could be working towards ur dream life? achieving ur dreams? making it to the top?

When you stop allowing men to consume so much of your time, energy, emotions, etc.. you know what’s that saying? 📝.. It’s basically saying I RECLAIM my OWN life and I don’t allow a man to determine so much of my own existence and happiness! it’s powerful, it’s feminist.

So say it with me ladies..

I am amazing and worthy WITH or without a man, and I don’t allow a man to play with my self worth.

I am sacred and I am a blessing. It is a PRIVILEGE to have access to me.

I call back ALL of my power from unnecessary men and encounters with men and I choose to re-invest it into myself.

When you start working on your confidence and self worth, truly loving yourself and getting into your bag/passion.. baby nobody especially no MAN can bother you so much as to take you off your path. And THATS LAW. 👏🏾

.❀。🛟• *₊°。 🌺❀°。 .❀。🐬• *₊°。 🌞❀°。 .❀。• *₊°。 ❀ 🫧 .❀。

┈➤ 🎀 SECTION THREE: HOW TO GO ABOUT INTERACTING W/ MEN 💗🫧 ✧˖°

Stop being thirsty for men and changing your WHOLE personality just to try and get attention. I tried to keep this post judgement free but I need to call some of you out on this, it’s just not cute. Please be yourself. Authenticity over everything. 💋

Stop allowing these no good men to live rent free in your mind 24/7, 365. Stop living in a fantasy of what you imagine them to be yet allowing them to play in your face all the time. WAKE UP!!! Is this man giving you happiness or making your life easier, or is he just causing unnecessary stress. He has GOT TO GO.

🎀 :: Move on, stop checking up on people that should be dead to you, heal and evaluate your wounds and behavior. Often times the way y’all act with men or just in general shows where your trauma is.

Start loving yourself more. Start making time for yourself and recognizing your worth and setting standards and boundaries. These men AINT SHIT and as a collective we have got to STOP giving them the time of the day. If they are USELESS, take out the trash. You are number one is this world angel. No person and definitely no man can ever take that away from you.

hey guys 😛 hope u liked the post. as always send me asks, trying to be more consistent w posting!! i change my format like every other post atp, but whatever. hope yall are having a great week btw. much love 💕

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pink-amethyst-tarot · 1 year ago

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♡ Message From Your Soulmate ♡

Take what resonates and leave the rest and know that you're the one in control of your life at the end of the day. . . .

P I L E 1 - Through the Fire

Five of Pentacles, Wheel of Fortune (Reversed), Page of Cups, The High Priestess, Justice

Okay. First off, your person wants to say that you are their gift and that you are their surprise. They are so lucky to have you! (omg, I'm gonna cry!!!) Your person is saying that they know that you feel like they have abandoned you and you may have doubts about if this person even exists. They do exist. Your person is real, and they are working so hard to get to you. There have been delays in your union because you are trying to be too in control of the situation. Your person wants you to focus on your own growth and being the best version of yourself for yourself. They are going to come in so unexpectedly and it's going to feel so magical. This is not an ex. I'm serious. Let it go. I'm also getting the communication will be so good and so full of passion and romance! Your person wants you to listen to your inner voice and find the strength to be who you really are. You can look forward to learning a lot from each other. There is a balance in this relationship that you may not be used to. This person sees you as their equal. For some of you, there is a specific person who comes to mind when you read about soulmates, divine counter parts and the person that you want to spend this lifetime and every lifetime with. I want you to know that you aren't crazy. It's them. Just give them some time. Everything is going to work out and you will be together.

Extra channeled message: I love you, I love you, I love you, my sweet star. Hold on to me as tightly as I am holding on to you. Just remembering that you are out there for me, keeps me going; keeps me coming toward you.

Channeled Song: Through The Fire - Chaka Khan

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall// For a chance to be with you// I'd gladly risk it all// Through the fire Through whatever, come what may// For a chance at loving you I'd take it all the way// Right down to the wire// Even through the fire//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at [email protected]

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 2 - my love is mine, all mine

King of Pentacles, Temperance, The Chariot, Ten of Cups, Nine of Pentacles (Reversed), Strength

Baby, you are so safe with me. Your person is so sweet and kind! I'm getting that they are a protector and very cuddly. I am going to be so gentle and so caring with you. You will never have to worry about anything when you are with me. Even if I am not with you, consider it taken care of. I am getting that this person has always been yours. In every lifetime, they have found you and made you so damn happy. This lifetime will be no different! Every universe, every life; I will love you, deeply. I cannot wait to grow old together. This person is a very dominate type, especially when it comes to you. One who likes to take the lead... in more ways than one. (my lord...) Your soulmate sees you as their happiest ending and they want you to know that they will never truly be happy if they don't have you. Unlike the previous pile, I am getting the energy of this being someone that you may know already, maybe even someone who is currently an ex. They have changed in some way, or the stars have aligned for you two to be together again. I'm getting that this person is really successful. Like... really freakin' successful. On the outside looking in, this person seems to have it all, but they don't feel complete because they don't have you but once they do, they are never going to let you go. You are theirs. (Okay, maybe this person is a little bit possessive but not in a toxic way. Definitely set boundaries about that kind of thing.) This love is so strong, so powerful. Wow.

Extra Channeled Message: You have consumed me; mind, body and soul, you have consumed me. You make ruins of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I gladly give you my heart to do as you please. If all I can have of you is your destruction of my heart, I will take it. You have me.

Channeled Song - My Love Mine All Mine - Mitski

My baby, here on earth// Showed me what my heart was worth// So, when it comes to be my turn// Could you shine it down here for her?

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at [email protected]

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

P I L E 3 - My babe would have me

Eight of Swords, Nine of Cups, The Chariot, Seven of Wands, Knight of Pentacles

I have been through a lot when it comes to love. My heart has been broken over and over again but with you, it's different. You are a dream come true, my love. There is an energy present that is telling me that your person is going through a lot right now. It feels like a Dark Night of the Soul. They are definitely going to come out on top though. They are a fighter, and they have the upper hand in whatever they are dealing with. Part of the reason that they are doing this work is because they want to be the best for you. They want to be good enough for you. (Even though they already are!) This person is worried that they aren't good enough and that you will leave them or won't choose them! They are so sure about you though. They know that you are what they want in this world. They are working hard on a lot of parts of themselves because you are so worth it. I feel like, just like the previous pile, you may already know or be in union with this person or this may be about an ex. Like, I need you know that this person is working so hard. They are going to show, not tell you how much they have changed. Like this is a whole new person.

Extra Channeled Message: I want you to know that yes, I am working on me so that I can be better for you but it's also for me, too. It has been so hard to go through this healing, but it has been worth it, and I am glad I decided to change. I am glad that I decided to heal, and I like the person that I am now and who I am becoming. I am going to make sure we have a really good life together, my love. I refuse to make your day harder or to make you cry. You are far too precious for that. I love you to the moon and back.

Channeled Song: Work Song - Hozier

My babe would never fret none// About what my hands and my body done// If the Lord don't forgive me// I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me//

if you want a personal reading, you can e-mail me at [email protected]

if you feel called to tip, you can on c@sh@pp at $oddlycozycottage

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. THESE READINGS ARE FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY. no guarantees are implied. These readings are not a substitute or replacement for any professional help or services. My readings are not a substitute for any form of professional legal, medical/psychiatric, relationship, religious/spiritual or financial/ business advice nor consultations. You should always see a professional legal/trained adviser for help in any matter. I am not responsible for any decisions/ actions you take.

page dividers created by @bunnysrph and @eloquentreverie

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schemmentisimpasours · 27 days ago

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Simping for Schemmenti Chapter 15

No More Please

Forever a servant to @babytakeittothehead and their gifs

Also Hi! We are back, schedule in full effect for Simping with Schemmenti Mondays 🫡

Summary: Schemmenti Christmas has arrived and it is exactly the nightmare Y/N thinks it will be. But maybe Melissa will actually listen to what Janine said this time.

(Thank you to my friends @milfjuulpod and @earpivore for reading over this for me. 🥹 I hope you be an amazing writer like both of you one day.)

Warnings: Homophobia, words like dyke and slut, alludes to an abusive past for Melissa.

Masterlist

Previous Chapter - Next Chapter

4.2k

Christmas Eve arrived against your will and with many restless evenings as Melissa prepared for the dinner. She had calmed down since your talk and had made sure you knew every moment of the day that she wanted you by her side. But there was still the fear that lingered underneath it all. An anxiety that vibrated through your once solid relationship. That her family would judge you and Melissa would change her mind about it all. You had many girlfriends break up with you because they were too scared to come out or had a parent disapprove of something you did. The thought of Melissa doing the same thing kept you on edge all day. When Melissa had made her way to the kitchen to do the final details you snuck away hoping to find one moment of peace.

Tara and Jamie arrived first for the party with Ava following behind. They had offered to help with any last minute stuff but Melissa shooed them out of the kitchen. Sister senses tingling they went to search you out. Tara and Ava found you hiding in your book sanctuary as the first of the Schemmenti knocked on the door. You were curled up in your blankets flipping through a photo album full of family photos of you Tara, Ava, and Melissa.

“We got an escape plan ready,” Ava offered looking out the window, “But we gonna have to be on the first floor to do it. I ain’t jumping out this window with these heels.”

You rolled your eyes, “I promised I wouldn’t run.”

“We get that you said you wouldn’t run in arguments but if they start to pull some shit we leaving. We can think of it more as a sisterly kidnapping if the red head gets spicy about it,” Tara reasoned.

“They are her family and you know how much family means to me.”

“And you still can have boundaries in with family Y/N.” Ava said placing her hand gently on your shoulder, “We aren’t going to have a repeat of Kenzie.”

Before memories could flash through your mind of your most explosive relationship a young voice was calling out to you. You turned around to see Melissa’s niece Lauren standing in the doorway smiling at you.

“There you are. Aunt Mel has been looking for ya. Think she is starting to get nervous that you ran away,” She smiled and stopped when she locked eyes with Ava.

“Lauren these are my sisters Tara and Ava,” You said raising an eyebrow at Ava, “Ava why don’t you show Lauren to the bar Mel set up. She loves a good sex on the beach.”

Lauren flushed at the comment but Ava merely smirked, “Now that is something I can get behind. Come on blondie.”

As they left Tara looked at you already beginning to laugh, “Could you have been any more obvious?”

“Hey she is the last sister without someone… I had to try,” You smirked and grabbed Tara’s hand, “It’s going to be okay right?”

“Yes,” Tara replied squeezing your hand, “Melissa loves you. She is going to protect you no matter what. I can just feel it. Plus we still have the escape plan. We really weren’t kidding about that.”

With her reassurance you made your way downstairs. Melissa was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. She was tapping on the railway furiously her anxiety finally winning over. However a small smile finally reaching her face as she saw you, “Oh baby there you are. I didn’t even realize that you had disappeared. I am so sorry I got distracted. When Lauren came down without you I thought you weren’t coming down.”

“Just was finishing something in the reading room,” You said, placing your hand over hers to stop the nervous tic, “I wouldn’t miss your dinner for the world.”

Melissa leaned up to kiss you and the energy in the room seemed to crackle as everyone looked over. They had already begun forming their opinions about you from all of the photos in the hallway and all of them were less than respectful. The red head seemed oblivious to the new tension in the room as she grabbed your hand parading you around to introduce you. You clung to her arm as the stares from her family seemed to get colder. You tried to focus on your girlfriend and how happy she looked to be talking about you. She loved and cared for you that much was clear. However as you moved from person to person the snarky comments followed Melissa too oblivious in sharing her joy to hear them.

Didn’t know Melissa liked dykes. She seems a little young. Maybe she is just the mid life crisis. No way they stay together. You think she is the top or bottom? I don’t get what Melissa sees in her must have secret money hidden away. Or Melissa is in it for the tits, she does have a nice rack on her. It is just a phase I am sure of it. Melissa just needs a real man to show her what life is really all about. I knew she fell apart after the divorce I just didn’t think she was going to go that low. Maybe she is amazing at eating pussy we should ask her. Maybe when Melissa is done we can have scraps.

The tears welled in your eyes as you ripped away from Melissa and ran into the kitchen. Melissa watched as her family began to laugh and that is when she realized just had wrong all of this had been. She should have never trusted them to understand her. Should have never exposed you to a life of hatred and cruelty. This wasn't the first time she had trusted her family with a part of her heart and it blew up in her face. However when she tried to go into the kitchen Barbara blocked her path.

“Give her a minute Tara and Ava are taking care of it,” Barabra whispered, “She isn’t running she just needs a breather.”

Melissa’s anger began to boil over but she only had to wait a couple of moments before her mother called her over, “What you need Ma a little busy right now.”

“I just wanted to ask why you thought Christmas Eve dinner of all times was the appropriate time to share your young little…”

“Slut,” Her grandmother filled in the word and Melissa heard the ringing start in her ears.

“She isn’t a slut. She is an amazing teacher, sister, friend, and human in general,” Melissa said trying to keep her voice even, “Y/N has been my girlfriend for awhile now, I love her and I need you to give her a little respect. If you could just give her a chance you could see what I see in her.”

“But what about that man from the deli down the street what was his name…. Mike!” Her mother said snapping her fingers, “He could give you a nice stable life like Joe did. Before you went and blew that up. “

“I didn’t blow that up Ma. He beat me,” Melissa said and felt a tension in her shoulders release that she didn’t realize she had been holding, “He beat me. Belittled me. Yelled at me. He broke me till I was nothing and all of you watched it happen. Even encouraged it.Told him I just needed to be broken in.”

“Oh Melissa,” her grandmother said reaching up for the redhead, “Sometimes that is just how marriages go.”

“Do you hear how ridiculous you sound?”

Melissa pulled away and scanned the room for you a way to ground herself back in the present moment and not get stuck in the past. You exited the kitchen head hung low as you slunk to the other corner of the room. She could see how angry Tara and Ava were and could have bet they told you to leave but you had stayed. Stayed because she had asked you to and because you loved her more than the comments you had heard. Her eyes settled on you cowering in the corner between Ava and Tara shielding you from the onslaught of criticism and abuse her family had been trying to deal out all night. Your lips quivered and she could tell how hard you were trying to keep from letting the dam burst. Janine’s words rang in Melissa’s head: Stand up to them and tell them to go to hell. Don't even give them a chance to think for one second that they have a right to talk to her like that. No half assed approval from her family was worth watching the woman she adored become a shell of herself.

Melissa pushed cousin Billy from his chair standing on the spot he vacated yelling over the chattering voices, “Get the fuck out my house.”

The room settled into a stunned silence. Melissa looked around arms crossed, “Did I stutter? How many times do I need to tell you to get out before you actually listen? I'm not going to stand here and let you insult the love of my life.”

Gasps sounded around the room, “You heard that right. I love Y/N. I'm not going to let you belittle my future wife and her family. My family. That has showed me more love in six months than y’all have my whole life.”

“You tell them Aunt Mel!” Lauren shouted encouraging her to continue.

Melissa’s eyes locked onto yours as you gave her a small wobbly smile, “Y/N has shown me more love and compassion than Joe ever did. She showed me what it was like to be loved without conditions. To be exactly who I am and have someone want to be around me. I don’t have to change for her to love me. I don’t cower in corners wondering when the next moment I am going to be hit or yelled at. I do not have to live in fear. She taught me true love is simple, magical, safe. That I can just be me and that be enough. She has shown me the importance of memories in pictures and that no time is wasted when you are with someone you love. We have built a safe place in this house with no yelling, no broken glasses, no running. I was stupid to ever let you in it. I gave you the chance to be nice and you ruined it. I will not allow it to continue another moment. Now get out.”

Her family started to shuffle nervously still not moving, “Barbara!”

“Way ahead of you,” Her work wife said holding the metal up bat to the red head.

Melissa swirled it in her hand a smile cruelly spreading across her face, “All of you besides Kristen Marie and Lauren have five minutes to get the hell out of my sight before Barb here calls the cops for trespassing and I start swinging.”

When no one moved Melissa took a test swing of the bat connecting with a hanging plant that her mother had forced her to put up years ago. It shattered dirt and the dead plant falling down like rain over her mother and grandmother. Melissa merely laughed at their shocked expressions, “God I really fucking hated that plant.”

Kristen Marie smiled and opened the front door, “Y’all heard her. Get the fuck out.”

In one big swarm the rest of the family grabbed their things and rushed from the house. As they started to exit Melissa rushed over to you handing the bat to Tara, “Beat them up for me sis?”

“Gladly,” Tara smiled hitting the base of it on the floor before holding it over her shoulder, “Hurry up assholes, I'm getting impatient.”

More people ran for the door as Melissa wrapped her hands around your hips, “I am so sorry baby. Are you okay?”

“Better now that I'm with you,” You smiled up at her, “Future wife huh?”

“I was really hoping that you had missed that part. It messes up my proposal plans,” Melissa said pushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, “It was really elaborate.”

“Just ask me now,” You pleaded, “Ask me now.”

“Thought it would be a little cliche to do it on Christmas Eve,” Melissa mumbled.

“Fuck the cliche and just ask me Schemmenti.”

“Damnit give me ten minutes. If I am making it a cliche I am doing it right,” Melissa said kissing you, “Ava! Barbara! Tara! It’s time.”

Ava groaned pulling away from Lauren, “Really Y/N! You couldn’t just wait five more days? I am in the middle of something.”

“Told you she would cave!” Tara screamed as Barbara passed her a twenty with a look of disappointment.

“This is gonna be so much to set up,” Barbara sighed, “Jamie. Gerald. Lauren.Come on we need all the help we can get.”

“Kristen Marie keep Y/N from snooping,” Melissa said and then took off up the stairs after she gave you one more kiss.

You watched as the rest of the people in the house began to disperse looking through cupboards and closets to find different supplies. You stood there trying to decompress from everything that happened when Kristen Marie approached with a red solo cup.

“Soda,” She smiled, “Melissa said you aren’t a big drinker.”

“Thank you,” You said taking the cup gratefully.

“You doing okay?” The blonde woman asked leaning against the wall next to you, “Not planning to take off after your first Schemmenti blow out.”

You laughed, “Can’t scare me off that easily but I think I might need to get some thicker skin. That was… a lot.”

“Not thicker skin,” She shook her head, “Don’t change anything Y/N it is why Mel loves you so much. You know how to be soft while still standing your ground. Those schmutz had no right saying those things. You are a good person and you are good for that fiery redhead I call my sister. Doesn’t matter if you don’t come with the usual parts they think of in a relationship. You had a right to show them who you are on the inside.”

You took in the woman next to you too stunned to figure out what to say. The sister that Melissa had blocked out for so many years and now the only one that was still left in the room. You didn’t know the full story of what pulled them apart but you could tell that she was trying. To show up for Melissa and for the relationship that had grown between the two of you.

“That sister of yours,” Kristen Marie paused looking at the spot Lauren and Ava had vacated, “She gonna treat my daughter well? I have heard some things about her principal style.”

“Oh Ava,” You laughed, “She can be a force to be reckoned with but she is a softie at heart. People assume to know everything about her but she is more than just what is on the outside. She is soft and caring and a total hopeless romantic even if she won’t admit it. The people that she cares about she will go above and beyond for. She is one of the best people I know. Lauren will be in good hands.”

“My daughter deserves someone like that,” Kristen smiled.

“So you know about her…”

“Being gay? Yeah she came out to me after she came back from here the first time she met you. I knew something was up when she never brought boyfriends around and when she talked about your and Melissa’s relationship. It was like she was watching the world she wanted unfold in front of her. I am ashamed that she didn’t feel safe coming out sooner but I am trying to make up for it.”

“That is what matters,” You said grabbing her hand reassurningly, “Just keep showing up for her every day. She will get the message.”

“You think it is a little early to welcome to you the family? Melissa has only been talking about this for months I feel like y’all are already married.”

“Not at all,” You said hugging Kristen Marie close to you, “Glad to be apart of the family.”

Tara cleared her throat, “Sorry to break this moment apart but I think she is ready for you.”

Kristen Marie nodded and let you get taken up the stairs by Tara. She held you in one arm a rose in the other. Halfway up the stairs candles lined the pathway to your reading room. They were mismatched colors and sizes which made you giggle. Each step was covered with rose petals in a dark burgundy that Melissa knew you loved.

“The delivery with the candles that were supposed to be used don’t arrive till after Christmas. Would have been a really nice silver and gold alternating on each step,” Tara explained and rolled her eyes, “But someone couldn’t wait.”

“She could have just said it right there in the dining room” You countered with a playful shove.

Tara stopped at the top of the landing looking at you with tears pricking the corner of her eyes handing you a rose, “No she couldn’t have. You deserve this. Deserve to be shown how important and special you really are. You spent way too long thing that you were nothing but the dirt beneath people’s shoe and that people only loved you when it was convenient for them. You are worth so much more than that.”

You gave her a tight hug before looking at the transformed space around you. Barbara, Gerald, Jamie, Ava, and Lauren were lining the wall to your book room holding large pictures of you and Melissa each with a rose in their hand. Fairy lights hung from the ceiling giving each picture a soft glow. The first one was from the last day of school party when Melissa had been wrapping a towel around your shivering body. She had her hands pulled tight around the top of the towel and had pulled you into a kiss. You smiled remembering all of those first kisses Melissa had given you. Like she needed them as much as she needed air. Taking the rose from Jamie you moved to the next picture. It was the day after you had first slept together and Melissa had brought you breakfast in bed. There was a causalness in your looks both makeup free and hair ruffled with small knowing smiles. Your head was pulled back in laughter Melissa gawking at the hickeys she had placed along your chest. You laughed unconsciously rubbing at the ones you knew were underneath your shirt now. With Melissa it was very rare to be hickey free and secretly you loved the reminders that you were hers.

Taking the rose from a grinning Ava you moved to the next picture. On Melissa's bed your head against her chest covers pulled high around you. You could see your bare shoulders and a slight blush to your cheeks from the remnants of moaning Melissa’s name. You were sleeping but a hand was still draped over Melissa’s shoulder anchoring her to you. Fairy lights illuminated the picture just enough to see Melissa smiling a twinkle in her eye. It reminded you of all the things Melissa did to make you feel safe and supported with everything that you needed. That she had gotten those lights just for you. Gearald outstretched a rose to you and you approached one of the final photos. It was from one of your Tiktok live streams where you had curled up in the large chair book in hand. Melissa had your feet draped over her lap fingers casually running over your cheek to put a piece of hair behind your ear. You were grinning over your glasses. A casual tender moment that was now cemented forever in this picture melted your heart as Lauren handed you a rose.

The final picture caught you off guard as you stood in front of Barbara. It was the large canvas that you thought you were never going to see again. The painting that had inspired your roommates entire art career. Your roommate had caught the look in Melissa’s eye that you were never able to capture in words.How she looked at you like her whole future was held in your eyes. The love pouring from the corners of her soul. Saying everything she couldn’t say with words but instead a look that promised eternity as long as you wanted it. It had been the picture that made you realize that you wanted to hold this woman in your arms forever.

You were crying now running your fingers over the painting, “I thought this had been purchased at the art auction.”

“I bought it,” Barbara smiled, “To save for a moment like this. No one else should have this picture but you and Melissa.”

You leaned forward to hug Barbara thanking her again before she pushed you towards your reading room. You opened the door gently and then stood frozen with your hand still clutching the doorknob. Melissa was standing in the middle of the room perfectly centered in the words Marry Me that were made from piles of books. Rose petals littered the floor and the fairy lights in the background glinted off the red in Melissa’s hair. Melissa reached out for your hand and pulled you towards her. She wrapped her arms around your waist and you clung to her hoping this wasn't just a dream.

You leaned up to kiss her happy tears still running down your face. It only lasted for a moment before Melissa pulled back and you could see the tears that also threatened to leave her, “You have to let me ask the question before we start the kissin part.”

“Ask me,” You whispered as Melissa sunk to the floor in front of you.

“Y/N you completely turned my world upside down from the moment that I met you. It was not a big explosive moment falling in love with you. It was like coming home after a long day to find the peace I had been craving. The world seemed brighter, safer, and I can't imagine a single day without you besides me. I swore I would never get married again but I want the world to know how much I love you. Trust you. Cherish you. Appreciate you. Need you. Want you. Imagine a life with you,” Melissa said tears running down her face, “Will you do me the honor of being my wife? To let me love you till our last days?”

“Yes, absolutely yes,” You said extending your hand to allow Melissa to slide the ring on.

A black band with small purple amethysts shined back up at you but you only had a moment to look before Melissa was lifting you in the air. You squealed as she swirled you around smiling like you had hand delivered her the moon. You pulled her close to you giving her a deep kiss when the cheering started.

You both pulled away to find your onlookers clapping plus a couple of extra. Janine, Gregory, Jacob,Nonna and Mr. Johnson had joined the crowd cameras pointed at you. Barbara was the first to speak, “I called in some reinforcements. Things like this should be celebrated with family. This is our family.”

Melissa still had you pressed against her as she looked at the people crowding in her house. This was her family. Not the people she had kicked from her home. These were the people that showed up for her through the good times and the bad. Never asking her to change a thing. Their unwavering support had brought her to this exact moment. Being engaged to the love of her life which hadn't been Joe. Never had been but instead had been you all along. Her lighthouse in the vast ocean that had guided her home. Her safe place to anchor.

“We need a picture in front of the Christmas tree,” Melissa said pulling you by your hand, “The whole family. For the Christmas cards next year.”

Which is how all fourteen of you ended up crowded in front of the camera. You and Melissa were at the front her sticking your ring to the camera as you kissed her cheek. Beside you Gerald and Barbara were locked into a hug years of love making their expressions soft and sincere. On the other side Tara and Jamie were locked into a kiss their brand new love still radiating in every moment. Ava and Lauren were looking into each other’s eyes the unknown thick in the air. Kristen Marie with her arm wrapped around her daughter an understanding smile playing on her eyes. Janine and Gregory tucked into a corner his arms wrapped around her waist as they watched Jacob during one of his lectures. Mr. Johnson and Nonna were giving bunny ears to the closest person they could find humor playing in their eyes. It was pure chaos and you loved all of it. This was family. Not those related by blood but those you built in the moments that you needed them the most.

Taglist

@yoyo-w

@cupldscntrl

@milfslvr

@liliapleasesteponme

@milfjuulpod

#melissa schemmenti #melissa schemmenti x you #melissa schemmenti x reader #melissa schemmenti x original female character #kristen marie schemmenti #ava coleman #janine teagues #gregory eddie #jacob hill #barbara howard #mr.johnson #abbott elementary #simping for schemmenti

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landwriter · 4 days ago

Note

Talk about sandman WIPs you say? 👀 Your porn AU and San Francisco gays still live in my head rent freeeeeee ❤️

Pella! I'm glad Professional Fuckers lives rent free in your head because I definitely forgot it existed. In spite of this, I am somehow still confident I'll actually finish and post it one day. It's just so easy and refreshing to write a setting purely from experience. Still needs several more scenes but I know the whole shape of it.

I think there's a lot of really fun potential to be mined from indie porn in a rom-com sort of story: you have this professional physical intimacy that can mean absolutely nothing, an intimacy that is itself altered and shaped by the demands of performing for a camera, by the visual and literal language of any given shoot genre; but separately to that, there's this variable of the chemistry you have with them, as colleagues, as co-performers, and of course, though somehow least significantly, as people fucking. The chemistry that plays out on screen does not always track onto the chemistry you feel with someone. So there's this, I think, super funny territory you can get into, where you've just fucked someone, and the prescient question of did we make something good and the vain little one of was I good, did you like that are entirely separate. But imagine the urge to ask when you're doing something you've never done before.

Imagine, too, nursing a crush on somebody and still not being sure if they like you like you in spite of fucking them in shoots all afternoon and pretending to be in a relationship for half of those. Imagine doing all this demanding, intimate work with a near-stranger, and then making friendly small talk after because outside of this work you hardly know each other. Imagine feeling like there's something there, beneath all the performance, and the commingled horror of crossing professional boundaries--of finding out your co-performer is just so good that they sold the story you were telling together to you too, without meaning any of it--and the desire to find out how good it could be with the cameras off. No awkward blocking, no performing, no story, nothing: an entirely novel, unprofessional, and maybe even more intimidating kind of fucking altogether.

That's what this setting is all about. In the spirit of that, have a mildly NSFT scene ft. Dream sucking cock for the first time while on a shoot, and Hob making a suggestion after.

[ask me anything]

“Dream,” says Hob. “Dream, please, I’m gonna cum, oh, fuck.”

He looks up at Hob, jaw afire, and Hob swears and twitches and comes in his mouth. Dream swallows it without thinking of making a show of it, just swallows and swallows and pulls off, panting. He doesn’t realize how swollen his lips are until Hob traces them with a warm thumb, and murmurs, wow, so low it’s surely not for the cameras, more a breath than a word.

“Was I good?” he asks. His voice is fucked out and low and Hob laughs breathlessly as he tucks himself in.

“Yeah. Yeah, shit, you were good, baby. So good for me.” He looks down at Dream with undisguised lust. “M’gonna want this all the time now.”

Dream doesn’t know what to say, so he just stares up at Hob, until Hob smiles and shifts to sit up. “Great,” he says, in a normal tone, the scene sloughing off him. “Happy with that?”

“Was it enough time?” Dream asks.

“Oh, yeah. We’re probably at thirteen, fourteen minutes. I know you only wanted ten but I didn’t want to tread on perfectly good footage and say something.”

Dream can’t conceal his surprise that it’s been so long already. Hob takes it as skepticism and laughs. “No, you can check, but I’m like a fucking egg timer. It’s my party trick on shoots.” He stands and goes over to his camera, squinting at the display. “Yes! Thirteen twenty-nine,” he announces triumphantly, and turns it off. “Right,” he says, all business when he turns back to Dream. “Water and onto the next?”

Dream, still kneeling, awkwardly stands. “Yes,” he says, and clears his throat when it comes out rough. “Yeah, sure.”

Was I good? Truly? Hob is so good at inhabiting someone else that Dream isn’t sure. He would cover it up well if it was bad. “That’ll sell well,” he says, as neutrally as he can.

Hob takes the bait and grins at him. “Oh, definitely. That was perfect. You were great.” Then he takes in Dream and frowns. “Hey, do you want to, ah?”

Dream realizes he’s still painfully hard. Hob is grimacing down at his tented jeans. The moment of satisfaction is popped like a soap bubble. He adjusts himself, feeling his face heat. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Oh, fuck, don’t be sorry. Always good to know I’m not repulsive. I meant, do you want to deal with it now since you didn’t come?”

Dream glances toward the guest bedroom, unable to believe Hob is actually propositioning him. Unable to believe the yes that offers itself at once. Hob continues. “My facial shoot, later? Could just switch things around and get it done now if you’re ready to go.”

“Of course,” says Dream, magnanimously. Of course that’s what Hob meant.

#asks #fic excerpts #wips #professional fuckers #dreamling #the sandman #tag story time:#while i have never crushed disastrously on a shoot like in this WIP #i will note there is a delicate balance when it comes to chemistry #and Too Much is as difficult to manage as Absolutely None #(everything else is workable)#once i found myself with 20 minutes of unusable footage because the fucking was so good that the work part of my brain was obliterated #the part that always runs in the background re: angles and shots and timing #background processes: not found. pussy too good #pretty funny considering we were under a full lighting rig that was brighter than the sun #named something ridiculous like ~StormBlazer3000~#faintly humming away in the background #a camera filming in 4K like 5 ft away from us #and STILL forgetting to be on job about it #like moths fucking in the blinding light of a porch lamp #i could talk about this AU and my love for the setting and the work foreverrrrr #even if i did forget about it hahaha #maybe when i have more time in winter i'll finish writing this love letter

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yermes · 1 month ago

Text

Stepping into abundance 🪿

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Pick a meme

123

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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰

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Socials: My Socials **☾**

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The cards

X of pents rev 🐦‍⬛

Theres some family or friend bullshit going on that is preventing your saving or money moves, people stepping over your financial boundaries is a real thing, and if you HAVE to spend money to have a good time with someone, are you even actually good friends? Or are they just another weekly expense to budget for? You are basically over your head financially and emotionally, LOTS of things are tied to money, and it sucks when emotions get wrapped into it, but you have to set boundaries, start being apathetic about it, sit down and fight excel to make your monthly budget and actually make room for yourself. Also remember, other people being broke does not make you there baby sitter bc I know it feels nice, but their irresponsibly is not your fucking problem.

IV of wands rev 🍊

Girl you either need to step into your new environment and command it, forge your new space, in an area where you feel unwelcome make yourself feel welcome and carve a space for yourself in a place where you deserve. Or leave and go somewhere better that will support you, and your hopes and dreams. It is hard getting up and starting somewhere else like its scary! Its uneasy, but if you believe this is what is right you need to trust your intuition and make yourself a home in unknown lands. You also may have a huge lack of support from friends and family, what they think or say doesn’t matter you truly have to follow your intuition. Find roots elsewhere and take on this scary new opportunity.

III of wands 🌾

You want to be rich but its always fucking something, car broke down, phone broke, fridge broke, shoes have a hole in them, and girl I get it I also live life hard and fast and when you do, shit always gets broken. It may feel like you have a lack of progress but with each obstacle you overcome and with each delay you pass, it is just another feather in your cap, you are learning how to deal with shitty situations and this skill set will prove to be extremely valuable. This suffering will not be without the gain of wisdom and knowledge. Start planning out a bit better! Give things more time, space, and buffer more than you think you would need, always be prepared. I know its frustrating and your credit card is crying right now but it will get better.

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Extras:

Story/vent: 🫀

I know all yall broke, I too am broke

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qoldenskies · 1 month ago

Note

dying over hopeless romantic ccdonnie i need his brothers to stalk every person he likes

standing behind him with large weapons while he holds out flowers and then the weapons magically disappear when he turns to look at them

i am very convinced there would be quite a bit of conflict over it yesss .... i think him still being someone who would FALL fall in love while also being very self-sacrificial to the point of destruction means he would just kind of tolerate. anything. if he loves someone he would just allow them to hurt him, and his family would be very scared about that happening with a romantic partner-- especially because donnie, being someone who is very romantic, would have all of these expectations of how it would go if he actually found a relationship. he'd take heartbreak so hard, when he's already so vulnerable, especially now.

i think for april (who is significantly less fucked up than the others) and raph (who dislikes expressing anger and is a lot more put together because of it) that'd come in the form of a pretty pointed shovel talk, but i could see leo being particularly overprotective (he already doesn't do well with strangers, with his newfound paranoia. someone getting that close all at once,,, it wouldn't mesh well with his problems). maybe shelldon too actually. the helicopter parenting has hilariously reversed at this point. dont let leo and shelldon team up good lord

splinter would be the only supportive one, both because i am just a BILLION percent sold on the fact that he would live vicariously through his sons' romance (that man loves telenovelas and romcoms. let us be honest, he would CONSTANTLY be cooing over their relationships) and also because i think he'd be the loosest about the topic of donnie making his own choices,, he's a lot more caring and attentive now, and his more relaxed style of parenting is actually helpful now that he's found a good balance. he wont push and he wont judge when things are too much for donnie, but him and mikey are usually the two that will be quick to crack down and enforce respecting donnie's decisions and his boundaries when he's set on something. although mikey does have his limits, especially when he's caught up in his own anxiety about something. it's mostly because of his own trauma.

im not really a shipper but i have been kind of drawn to the idea of doing something like that with cc!donnie just because he's not a helpless baby and this would be a very good way to confront the ways they shelter him like he isn't still donnie because of their own guilt and trauma, and because i think it leaves a lot of room for exploring his issues through an outside perspective (id probably adapt timothy for it, i dont think he would have good chemistry with kendra unlike canon donnie lol). the only reason i haven't is because i feel like if i wrote something about it and added it to the series, it'd kind of be canonizing it? it's more like a fic-of-my-fic kind of thing, a hypothetical, and i feel like people would get the wrong idea if i just added it to the series-- it wouldn't really work with the themes and tone of cc BUT REST ASSURED I AM THINKING ABOUT IT FOR CHARACTER REASONS

#ask #canary continuity #cc timatello could be so fucking cute do you hear me #is this thing on #CAN YOU HEAR ME. DO YOU GET ME

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magic-shop-stories · 2 months ago

Note

Bts father headcannon where their child wants to become an actor/ actress and how they would react to their child being in the public eye

💌 Reply:

Hey there, THANK YOU SO MUCH for your request, I'm a bit late but I hope you dont mind and can still enjoy these headcanaons... hoping it's what you imagined and wanted. I was in the theater today and got a bit inspired (tho the play wasn't too good ...content-wise xD) Feel free to reach out again and have fun reading XO -c-

NAMJOON

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

after their high school’s production of Hamlet

his child plays Ophelia/Horatio with chilling vulnerability

he sits in the front row

clutching a dog-eared copy of Shakespeare (he’s annotated since years)

post-show, his child meets him backstage

still in costume, face flushed under stage makeup

Confession

they hand him a handwritten letter

tucked inside a vintage copy of King Lear

note reads: “Appa, You taught me words have weight. Now I want to give them wings. Let me act. Love, Your Hamlet (Not Tragic)”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

freezes

eyes scanning the letter twice

his grip tightens on the book

knuckles whitening

voice low, almost a whisper:

“This… this is your truth?"

Next Minute

sinks into a backstage folding chair

gesturing for them to sit

“Explain. Why acting? Why now?”

leans forward, elbows on knees

debate mode activated

After an Hour

paces the empty theater aisle

muttering quotes:

“‘All the world’s a stage’… but the audience can be cruel.”

stops abruptly

“You’re sure? Unshakably sure?”

EMOTIONS

Pride

texts Jin at 2 AM:

“Hyung. They’re… brilliant. Like, Shakespearean brilliant.”

sneaks into their room to watch their old play recordings

smiling at their Prince Hal monologue

Fear

wakes from nightmares of tabloid headlines:

“BTS Leader’s Child: Nepo Baby or Genius?”

journals: “How do I armor their heart without crushing their spirit?”

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“Talent is a gift. But this industry… it’s Sisyphus with a spotlight. Can you carry that boulder?”

Action

buys out a small indie theater for a private workshop

hires a Tony Award-winning coach

specialized in mentoring LGBTQ+ youth

“Learn here first. Safely.”

Two Weeks Later

creates a ”Artistic Integrity” contract with them over banana milk

“Never apologize for your craft.”

“If a director dims your light, walk. I’ll handle the fallout.”

“Grades stay up. Philosophy minors make better actors.”

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Education & Art

enrolls them in a hybrid Ivy League/acting conservatory program.

“You’ll need both to dissect Ibsen and survive TMZ.”

hosts Saturday Seminars

they analyze A Doll’s House

he connects it to Marxist theory

Creative Safe Spaces

builds a new home studio with soundproof walls

adds a library of plays

door plaque: “Rehearsal Room / Existential Crisis Zone.”

co-writes a modern adaptation of The Tempest

but Prospero is a K-pop idol

“Hyungs will cameo. No pressure.”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

insists their debut is a stage play

not a Netflix show !!!

“Theater audiences respect boundaries. Mostly.”

leaks fake scripts

to Dispatch about them playing ”a time-traveling barista”

diverting attention

Paparazzi Protocol

teaches them ”The Kim Namjoon Evasion”:

= wear oversized scarves (distracts cameras)

= quote Foucault (confuses reporters)

= summon ARMY (via a secret Social Media code)

hires a bodyguard disguised as a ”philosophy tutor”

“Sunbae will quiz you on Kant and karate.”

EASTER EGGS

Lyrical Nod

sneaks “you showed me I have reasons I should love myself” into their opening night card

Bookmark Gift

golden bookmark engraved with their childhood nickname: ”My Little Army-Princess”

Secret Cameo

appears in their student film as ”Disapproving Librarian #3”

blinks Morse code: “P-R-O-U-D.”

JIN

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

years of “living room Broadway” performances

(starring Jin as the unwilling villain and his child as the dramatic hero)

his child ambushes him during his Saturday skincare routine

they toss a crumpled acceptance letter from a prestigious acting conservatory into his lap

along with a plastic Oscar they stole from his “Dad Joke Trophy Shelf.”

Confession

Jin pauses mid-sheet mask application

“Appa. I’m doing it. For real this time. And you’re gonna cry at my Oscar speech.”

“Yah! My Oscar speech is already written! Fine… let’s hear your draft.”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

gasps

sheet mask slipping off his face

“Finally! I’ve been waiting to say, ‘My kid’s the star!’ since you were three!”

flexes in the mirror

“But I’m still the lead in this household.”

Next Minute

scrolls through the conservatory’s alumni list

“Hmm. This one did a toothpaste commercial. You’re already better.

After an Hour

forces the family to reenact “Goblin”

dish towels as capes

casts himself as the handsome deity

“Method acting, baby! Cry like you’re chopping onions!”

EMOTIONS

Pride

updates his Instagram bio to “Proud Appa of Korea’s Next IT Actor” within 5 minutes

texts his last TV show co-star Gong Yoo:

“Hyung. My kid’s stealing your roles. Sorry not sorry.”

Fear

secretly watches child star burnout documentaries

mutters, “Not my baby.”

buys 17 self-help books titled “Raising a Nepo Baby (But Make It Humble)”

Nostalgia

digs up old photos of himself in college theater

(pre-debut Romeo with tragic eyeliner)

“See? You get this from me.”

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“You want to act? Great! First lesson: Always angle your left side to the camera. This side.”

points to his cheekbone

Action

hosts a “Debut BBQ” with all HYBE staff

forces Bang PD to watch their student film

“Invest in this face. Future CF king!”

Two Weeks Later

creates a “Jin-Approved” survival kit

portable steamer “Wrinkles are the enemy”

script highlighters with ARMY bomb sketches

emergency Snacks labeled “For When Co-Stars Are Rude.”

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Coaching & Connections

co-stars in their college thesis film as a washed-up idol (typecasting himself)

“I’ll be your tragic comic relief. Again.”

drags them to celebrity golf tournaments to network

“That’s Director Bong. Laugh at his jokes. Even the bad ones.”

Public Advocacy

wears a “Proud Appa” button to their premieres

interviews himself on the red carpet:

“Yes, they’re talented. Yes, I’m jealous.”

starts a YouTube series: “Appa’s Acting Academy”

where he “trains” them in over-the-top melodrama

episode 1: “Crying on Cue (While Eating Spicy Noodles).”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

leaks fake scandals about himself to divert paparazzi

(“Jin Spotted Buying 100 Melons”)

teaches them the “Dad Joke Defense”

when reporters ask invasive questions, respond with:

“Why did the actor cross the road? To avoid you!”

Paparazzi Protocol

hires a decoy child (a lookalike cousin) to attend fake auditions

“Let them chase the wrong Kim.”

parks a pink Lamborghini outside tabloid offices daily

“Distract them with my beauty. Classic misdirection.”

EASTER EGGS

Signature Sass

sneaks his catchphrase “Worldwide Handsome” into their character’s dialogue

“It’s method acting. My method.”

MV Nostalgia

recreates their childhood “No More Dream” parody video for their 18th birthday

“You’ve always been main character energy.”

Dad Joke Legacy

stuffs their script margins with pun annotations

“Hamlet’s ghost? More like Hamlet’s host… of issues!”

*two GIFS for Yoongi bc I just couldn't resist the first one lol

YOONGI

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

his child has secretly joined an avant-garde theater troupe

reimagining classics like Medea as dystopian tech tragedies

they win a regional competition for their role as a cyborg Medea

channeling rage through glitchy, mechanical monologues

they arrive home late one night

trophy in hand

places it on Yoongi’s studio desk beside his unreleased mixtape drafts

Confession

no words

just a playbill tucked into his notebook with their role circled in red

Yoongi finds it at 4 AM

coffee cold

stares at the stark graphic design: “MEDEA 2.0: Humanity Optional.”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

eyes narrow at the trophy

flicks to their shadow in the doorway

“You’re back late. This why?”

voice flat

tho fingers trace the trophy’s edges

Next Minute

watches their performance clip on his phone

jaw tight

“Hm. Intense. You cried here..."

pauses the video

“Real tears or glycerin?”

After an Hour

sits at the piano

improvising a somber melody

“Medea’s a heavy first role. You understand her… or just memorized lines?”

EMOTIONS

Pride

texts BTS group chat:

“Got a kid who’s better at angst than me. Unrelated.”

saves their performance video as “track_idea_97.mp4” for future sampling

Fear

researches the troupe’s director

grilling them over coffee

“You let minors play suicidal androids? Cool. Let’s discuss boundaries.”

nightly ritual

checks their phone for burner accounts

tracking toxic fan forums

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“Acting’s a contract. You give pieces of yourself away. Sure you wanna sign?”

Action

buys the troupe’s script rights to prevent exploitation

“Now you own Medea. Fix the ending.”

Two Weeks Later

builds a home recording booth rigged with acting software

“Practice here. No audience.”

leaves a therapist’s card on their pillow

“For when the role… sticks.”

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Artistic Integrity

funds a short film they co-write

a meta-commentary on celebrity culture

directs the soundtrack himself

“No autotune. Raw.”

connects them with indie auteurs who value anonymity

“Art’s not a brand. Remember that.”

Practical Safeguards

sets up a shell company to manage their projects

“Stage name: Min (name). No ties to me.”

teaches them to encrypt scripts and emails

“Paranoia’s a tool. Use it.”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

insists their debut is a voice role in an animated film

“No face, no gossip. Just talent.”

they flood the internet with AI-generated deepfakes of their “public outings” to confuse paparazzi

Paparazzi Protocol

loans them his black face mask collection

“Wear these. And hoodies. Always.”

hires a cybersecurity team to scrub their digital footprint weekly

“You exist offline. Period.”

EASTER EGGS

Lyrical Nod

samples their Medea monologue in a BTS intro track

lyrics: “Burn the script / Rewrite your own fire.”

Studio Secret

names a synth preset “(name) Fury” after their performance

uses it in Agust D’s next album

Hidden Message

etches “민 (name)” (their stage name) into his mic stand

“For luck. Don’t tell.”

J-HOPE

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

his child auditions for a modern retelling of "Romeo and Juliet" as a dancer

tho lands the role of Mercutio

after the director spots their raw emotionality during a sword-fighting rehearsal

they send J-Hope a vague text:

“Appa, come to the Seoul Arts Center at 7 PM! Surprise! Wear something sparkly.)

Confession

J-Hope arrives in a sequined bomber jacket

expecting a dance showcase

lights are dim

his child appears onstage

delivering Mercutio’s death scene with a ferocity that leaves the audience breathless

post-curtain call, they find him backstage

frozen mid-clap

glitter tears streaking his cheeks

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

stares, mouth agape

“Wait... you?! Since when do you act?! I thought this was a dance thing!”

voice rises an octave

Next Minute

laugh-cries

shaking their shoulders

“YAH! You lied to me! Genius! But also grounded!”

After an Hour

replays their monologue on his phone

zooming in on their face

“You got Mom’s angry eyebrows. Perfect for tragedy.”

EMOTIONS

Pride

texts the members: “MY BABY’S A STAR!!!!”

spams 50 heart emojis

Jungkook replies: “Hyung. Chill.”

buys a custom neon marquee sign for their bedroom:

“Future Oscar Winner Sleeps Here.”

Guilt

replays old videos of them dancing together

“Did I push too hard? Was it my dream?”

Protectiveness

memorizes every cast member’s Instagram

“That Tybalt guy better not be a fuckboy.”

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“You’re amazing. But why hide it? I’d have choreographed your sword fights!”

Action

drags them to a 24-hour diner

ordering pancakes shaped like Oscars

“Eat. We’re celebrating.”

Two Weeks Later

surprises them with a collab

rechoreographs the play’s fight scenes into hip-hop battles

“Mercutio b-boys into the afterlife. Yes.”

hosts a “Dance-Acting Bootcamp”

teaches them to “cry while popping” for emotional auditions

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Creative Coaching

convinces Bangtan to cameo in their student film as background K-pop idols

“Just act natural. Which is… unnatural.”

designs their red carpet debut outfit

a sequined jumpsuit with light-up sneakers

“They’ll see you coming. Literally.”

Public Cheerleading

starts a TikTok series: “Appa’s Backstage Diaries”

filming their rehearsals

trendy hashtag: #HobiRaisingHollywood

sneaks into their Zoom auditions as a “technical assistant”

mouthing “YOU GOT THIS” behind the camera

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

organizes flash mobs outside paparazzi hubs

“Distract them with my moves. Classic Hobi.”

teaches them the “Hope on the Street Evasion”

a dance combo that doubles as a crowd escape route

Paparazzi Protocol

parks a neon-green convertible outside their auditions

blasting “Chicken Noodle Soup”

“No one hears your lines over this beat!”

hires a bodyguard who moonlights as a dance instructor

“Learn the running man and self-defense in one lesson!”

EASTER EGGS

Lyrical Nod

whispers “I’m your hope, you’re my hope” before their auditions

Legacy Accessory

gifts them his iconic rainbow Gucci sweater

“For luck. And branding.”

Secret Project

drops a remix of their Mercutio monologue over a J-Hope beat

SoundCloud title: “Hope World Meets Shakespeare.”

JIMIN

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

months of rehearsing alone in their room

his child auditions for a modern adaptation of "A Midsummer Night’s Dream"

set in a K-pop training academy

they land the lead role of "Hermia"

a trainee torn between love and ambition

the night before rehearsals begin, they leave a script on Jimin’s pillow

highlighted lines marked

“I fear my passion will eat me alive… but I’ll let it.”

Confession

Jimin finds it after a late-night shower

hair damp, wearing his ratty BT21 Chimmy pajamas

he sits on the edge of the bed

tracing the highlighted words

his child tiptoes in

he pats the space beside him

“Come here. Let’s read your lines together.”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

eyes widen, lips parting

“You’re… Hermia? My baby?”

voice cracks

pulls them into a hug so tight they squeak

Next Minute

recites their lines back to them

improvising exaggerated gestures

“No, like this... passion, jagiya! Throw the script!”

After an Hour

sits cross-legged on the floor

dissecting the character’s motives

“Hermia’s scared? So are we all. But you… you’re braver.”

EMOTIONS

Pride

texts Taehyung:

“They’re better than me at 16. Cursed genes.”

attaches a blurry screenshot of their audition tape

buys front-row tickets for all BTS members

“You’re our idol now.”

Anxiety

stares at their rehearsal schedule

circling scenes with intimacy coordinators

“If anyone touches them...”

wakes at 3 AM to watch documentaries about child actors

muttering: “Not my baby. Never my baby.”

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“You’re made for this. But if it hurts… we stop. Promise me.”

Action

rearranges his world tour schedule to attend every rehearsal

brings thermoses of honey tea for the cast

“Hydrate. Or I’ll cry.”

Two Weeks Later

hosts a “Confidence Bootcamp” in their living room

mirror work:

“Tell yourself you’re enough. Louder.”

breathing exercises stolen from his idol days:

“Inhale courage, exhale doubt.”

improv games where he plays an overly critical director

“Now roast me. Harder!”

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Creative Coaching

coaches their emotional scenes by sharing his own struggles

“I threw up before debut. Twice. Now… look at me.”

connects them with BTS’s vocal coach for projection lessons

“Sing your lines. Own the room.”

Public Advocacy

wears a custom “Proud Appa” silk robe to their premiere

paparazzi swarm:

“Yes, they’re mine. Yes, I’m sobbing.”

starts a YouTube series: “Behind the Curtain with Y/N and Jimin”

showcasing their rehearsals

Ep. 1: “How to Cry on Cue (Without Ruining Your Eyeliner)”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

leaks old baby photos of himself to overshadow their debut articles

“Let them laugh at my chubby cheeks. Not your talent.”

teaches them the “Jimin Evasion”:

smile brightly, wave, then bolt

“Works every GDA.”

Paparazzi Protocol

hires a former MMA fighter as their “personal stylist”

“She does wings and roundhouse kicks.”

parks his car outside tabloid offices with a sign:

“Park here and I’ll serenade you. Warning: Off-key.”

EASTER EGGS

Serendipity Symbolism

gifts them a butterfly bracelet

“For when you need magic.”

Lyrical Comfort

whispers “You never walk alone” before their curtain call

Secret Cameo

appears in their play as ”Mysterious Dance Mentor”

credits list: “Special Thanks to Dad"

TAEHYUNG

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

it's their high school graduation project

his child writes and stars in a self-written play

titled “The Melody of Lost Things”

a surrealist story about memory, identity, and a jazz musician who communicates with ghosts

Taehyung is dressed in a beret and silk scarf

he sits in the front row with a vintage film camera

post-show, his child finds him backstage

they're clutching a folded program stained with tear smudges

Confession

they hand him a script annotated with doodles and a note:

“Appa, You taught me stories are spells. Now I’m casting mine. Let me act. P.S. The jazz ghost is totally you.”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

smirks, eyes glinting

“Knew it. Knew you’d steal my artistic angst.”

tugs them into a hug, beret askew

Next Minute

examines the script like a rare vinyl

“This line...‘ghosts hum in minor keys’...chef’s kiss. But page 32 needs more… saxophone.”

After an Hour

drags them to a 24-hour jazz bar

reciting their lines over live music

“Feel the rhythm. Now you’re living it.”

EMOTIONS

Pride

texts Park Seo-joon:

“Hyung. My kid’s writing better scripts than us. Adopt them.”

buys a theater marquee replica for their bedroom

lights it up nightly: “TAE JR. TONIGHT!”

Protectiveness

sits in on rehearsals

glaring at any castmate who flubs a line

“Yah. Respect the art.”

creates a secret scrapbook of their reviews

labels it: “Proof the World is Wrong Sometimes.”

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“You’re a storm. But storms need direction. Let’s chase the lightning.”

Action

gifts them a 1930s microphone and a Gucci/Celine trench coat

“Wear this to auditions. Confuse them into hiring you.”

Two Weeks Later

co-writes a short film with them:

asilent movie about a time-traveling painter

casts himself as the mysterious art dealer

“No pay. Just exposure.”

hosts a “Vante Film Fest” in their backyard

screens their play on a projector

serving champagne in mason jars

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Creative Collaborations

connects them with indie directors who specialize in magical realism

“Tell stories that hurt and heal. Like us.”

turns their play into a graphic novel

illustrating it himself

dedication page: “For my ghost, who taught me to sing.”

Public Advocacy

wears a custom suit to their premieres

their play’s title embroidered in gold thread

“Subtle? Never!”

starts a YouTube channel critiquing their performances

“Scene 3: Flawless. Scene 4: More eyeliner.”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

invites paparazzi to fake art exhibits

featuring AI-generated photos of their “new projects”

“Chase this masterpiece.”

teaches them the “Vante Vanish”:

disappear into crowds by wearing head-to-toe prints

humming “Singularity”

Paparazzi Protocol

loans them his vintage sunglasses collection

“Hide your eyes. Keep your soul.”

hires a mime troupe to follow them in public

“Distract the press with silent chaos.”

EASTER EGGS

Jazz Soul

samples their play’s dialogue in a SoundCloud track

titled “Winter Bear: Remixed”

Legacy Accessory

gifts them an iconic blue silk scarf

“For when you need drama… or a tissue.”

Secret Nod

names a stray cat in their play “Tata”

“BT21 cameo. Shhh.”

JUNGKOOK

HOW HIS CHILD TELLS HIM

Setting

Jungkook’s child stars in a viral school play parody of “Dynamite”

he mistakes it for a "fun project"

months later, Namjoon visits

he spots a local theater flyer for “Macbeth: K-Hip-Hop Edition” with JK's child’s name

bolded as Lady Macbeth

he corners Jungkook mid-workout:

“You do know your kid’s the next Lee Byung-hun, right?”

Confession

child drags Jungkook to their dress rehearsal

he sits in the back row

snacking on gimbap, until Lady Macbeth’s soliloquy

“Out, damned Spotify streams!”

= blasts through the speakers

Jungkook drops his rice ball

“…That’s you? Since when?!”

INITIAL REACTION

First 10 Seconds

stares blankly

squints at the stage

“Wait...you’re acting? I thought this was… dance practice?”

Next Minute

leans forward, eyes widening

“You’re good. Like, really good. Why didn’t I notice?!”

After an Hour

texts the BTS group chat:

“Hyungs. My kid’s a genius. Am I… failing as a dad?”

Jin replies:

“Yes. Buy them lamb skewers.”

EMOTIONS

Guilt

rewatches every school play recording he’d archived as “cute hobbies”

“How did I miss this? Idiot!”

buys parenting books titled “How to Not Be Oblivious 101”

Pride

forces Bangtan to watch their play via Zoom

“Hyungs, clap louder! They’re my DNA!”

sneaks backstage after shows

leaves golden star stickers on their script

WHAT HE SAYS & DOES

Immediate Response

Verbal

“You’re… amazing. But why hide it? I’d have built you a Hollywood set!”

Action

turns his gaming room into a mini-theater

complete with spotlights

“Rehearse here. I’ll be your audience.”

Two Weeks Later

challenges them to a ”Act-Off”:

he performs Hamlet while bench-pressing

“Multitasking! You try!”

hires a dialect coach to perfect their English for international roles

“You’ll slay Hollywood and Korea.”

LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Hands-On Coaching

learns stage combat to spar with them

“Mercutio’s death scene needs more flips.”

records their monologues for his late-night gym playlist

“Motivation and pride!”

Creative Collaboration

directs their college film project

a meta-drama about idol families

casts himself as the “overprotective appa”

“Just… act natural.”

samples their Lady Macbeth laugh in his solo track

credits: “Feat. My Kid’s Evil Genius”

PROTECTION FROM THE SPOTLIGHT

Media Strategy

posts thirst traps timed with their premieres to hijack headlines

“Let them thirst over me, not you.”

teaches them to ”VLive Distract”:

go live eating ramen if paparazzi swarm

“Fans love noodle ASMR.”

Paparazzi Protocol

gifts them a black face mask with ”Golden Child” embroidered inside

“Wear it. Always.”

parks his Mercedes G Class outside auditions

engine roaring

“No one stalks you through this noise!”

EASTER EGGS

Golden Touch

swaps their silver trophy for a custom gold-plated one

“Only gold for my kid.”

Lyrical Nod

whispers “You’re my golden hour” before their curtain calls

Secret Signal

develops a finger heart code for crowded events

“Two hearts = I’m here.”

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