#j hope bts | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

namfinessed · 3 months ago

Text

go around - j.hs.

genre: angst, fluff (childhoodcrush! brother'sbestfriend!) (8.2k)

summary: to everyone else, he was the sun but to you, he was always the moon, the light you grabbed onto when you could see nothing.

note: grief is something very close to my heart, i've always struggled with it but i'm slowly starting to learn to live with it, i hope everyone who's experienced loss feels like some kind of relief through this, thank you for reading <3

masterlist

hoseok was sixteen years old when it happened.

you were thirteen.

and he had thought he was too cool for you then.

you were sitting on the other side of the mary-go-round to him, it was the last but one day of the summer camp you were part of, and you looked at him as if he hung the moon in the sky.

and hoseok felt as high as the moon that night.

but he was also sick to his stomach.

"i like you," you didn't look at him as you said it but hoseok could feel that you meant it, that it took a lot for you to get on that mary-go-round with him, spin with him, build the moon in his eyes and then say the words that he believed were stuck in your throat since when you first saw him.

he knew that your brother wouldn't like that you were saying this.

but he knew, even as a kid, that this was the most honest thing anyone's ever told him.

but he was so cool and so close to your brother, who would kill him if hoseok said anything back.

so, he didn't say anything back.

hoseok pursed his lips and looked away. he swears that, to this day, the tears shining in his eyes were nerves and not the frustration that came with not being able to hold you to the moon too.

the silent rejection didn't yet hit your soft eyes and bare heart.

you kept looking at him, hands gripping the handles so tight that your knuckles changed shades between white and pink and your cheeks puffed, excited and nervous breaths still left your lips.

and hoseok didn't want to be cool for a second there, he didn't want to care about your brother at all, maybe he would just let you take him for a bit, just a bit.

but in your thin eyebrows, he saw your brother.

in your veiny hands, he saw your brother.

in your coily, curly hair, he saw your brother.

so, he got off the mary-go-round, he walked away quickly, not pausing to look at you and he sniffed his tears away, he hugged his jacket closer to his body.

tomorrow, he would be fine.

tomorrow, no one would look at him like he was the moon and he would be okay with it.

but hoseok turned around.

the biggest mistake of his life.

the moon you thought him to be, cast a glow on the tears gathering on your chin and his heart wrenched.

he would fix this, he told himself, he would fix all of this.

but the next day, your brother, his best friend, died.

and you never spoke a word to hoseok again.

everything was vibrant when hoseok stepped into your home.

the unkept gardens were now blooming with flowers.

the closed windows were now open and giving a glimpse into the light inside the house.

the home was back to being a home.

he’s seen the transformation take place with his own two eyes over the years and he could confidently conclude that the ten years that cloaked your family and home in darkness were finally nowhere to be found.

and hoseok felt both delight and unease at the development.

“oh honey, you came,” there were few people hoseok could recognize with how they breathed, and your mom, his second mom basically, was one of them.

he didn’t even get to greet her before he was wrapped in a hug that surrounded him with the scent of cinnamon, musky perfume, and somehow, still his best friend.

“of course i did, ma” he kissed the top of her head, his arms not letting her go even if he knew the time for an appropriate hug was up, and she knew it too but she stayed as long as hoseok held her.

and when he let her go, he had to look away from the tears touching her eyelashes.

he probably brought back memories of his friend, maybe he still smelt like his friend too, he doesn’t know but he’s glad if he does.

his best friend’s family was unlike hoseok’s, his own family was distant and cold, and when he became an adult, he cut off all ties with them, he simply couldn’t accept them as family and your mom never let him feel as if he didn’t have one.

“the place is really packed,” hoseok whistled, looking at all the new faces and your mom nodded, “she invited a lot of her friends, i don’t know them but it’s okay, they’re having a good time, you’re here, so it’s all good,” hoseok stiffened at your mention.

you didn’t see him once in the last ten years.

slammed the door on his face.

ignored him even when your mom screamed after you.

locked yourself in your room and never got out if it meant seeing him.

and hoseok learned to accept it, he wouldn’t hang out with him either, especially after what happened.

but it was your birthday and he was invited, by your mom or you, he has no idea but hoseok steels himself to see you at some point in the night.

then, he walks around, introduces himself, ignores the pity that people eye’s throw at him, ignores the sympathetic touches on his arm, ignores the pats on the back and the ‘he must’ve been wonderful to have as a friend’ and he nods because he can’t say that yes, his best friend was an incredible friend until he fucking died.

and suddenly, hoseok wants to punch his best friend, for leaving him with this room of people who didn’t know him but somehow had all the sympathy in the world to shove in his face, for leaving him with no option but to mourn and miss him.

but hoseok was never a good mourner, he was good at going about life normally, good at laughing, good at ignoring his feelings, hoseok wasn’t good at gathering tears in his eyes when he thought of his dead best friend.

after a while, hoseok excuses himself to the bathroom and finds himself in his friend’s room, which remains frozen in time. every poster he hung up, though peeling at the edges on the wall, still stayed, every photo he stuck on top of his bedpost was yellow and faded but again, they stayed.

he doesn’t know how long he stares at their photo, the one they took in the summer camp where hoseok’s head is too small and his arms too thin and wrapped around his friend.

when he ran his fingers over the photo, he didn’t feel anything, he was grazing over hazy memories that he was desperately trying to remember as he got older but they were all slipping away or holding on too tightly at times.

“what the fuck are you doing in jay’s room?”

and he snatches his fingers away from the photo.

as he turns around, he swears he feels his heartbeat in his feet, and no amount of time could ever prepare him to face you.

you’re standing at the door with your arms crossed so defensively over your chest that he’s scared to take a single step forward but something about you, as a sixteen-year-old back then and now, a twenty-six-year-old, always takes his breath away.

and you look so much like jay, from the eyes to the hair to the hands, that he has to look away to breathe again.

“hey,” is all that comes out of hoseok’s mouth and he knows he deserves it when you roll your eyes at him.

“you’re not going to slam the door on me?” he asks and to his surprise, you shake your head, “not this time, my mom might just kill me,” you say while entering through the door and hoseok awkwardly steps around the room to reach where you sit on the bed.

he’s not sure how to feel about your mom having to force you to meet him.

and he’s not sure if he will ever be ready to see you again.

maybe you should’ve slammed the door one last time.

“happy birthday, big numbers now,” hoseok sits five feet away from you on the same bed and he watches your face soften the slightest, “thank you, and yeah, twenty-four doesn’t feel real,” you weakly laugh, falling on the bed and letting your feet dangle off the edge.

“your friends seem fun,” he stayed alert on the edge of the bed, and you nodded half-heartedly, “i guess so, did you meet them?”

“yeah, i said hi and stuff,” hoseok played with his fingers as you sat up again, “they brought up jay?”

“um yeah, they seemed to be very...empathetic about it,” he said, he didn’t know how else to say that your friends' reactions almost made him want to leave the party.

“yeah, they don’t know how to react to dead brothers or best friends, they’re not too bad though,” you laugh again and hoseok just nods, looking away.

for a moment, there’s only silence.

there’s only your breath and his.

there’s only your heartbeat and his.

and hoseok had missed this, he had missed you.

“can you believe it’s been ten years?” he asks because he can’t, he still feels as if it was yesterday that he got the phone call from you.

“i can,” you whisper, “time has been slow for me, so i can,” you’re the one looking away this time and hoseok catches your eyes roaming on the photos stuck above jay’s bed.

“do you want to go downstairs?” you get up from the bed and meet his eyes properly for the first time since you entered the room and he can do nothing but nod.

just before you step out the door, hoseok grabs your hand, immediately dropping it as you stop, “a-are you okay?” he didn’t want to ask you the question that he knows everyone else did but he also wouldn’t sleep that night without asking.

but when you laugh and disappear downstairs, hoseok ends up not sleeping anyway.

“thank you so much for coming by,” hoseok shook his head at your mother with the broadest smile and sweat coating his forehead, “of course ma, you can call me whenever you need help,” he pressed a kiss on the top of her head as he passed her and she pushed her face into his arm.

your mom owned a local restaurant and usually, handled everything from deliveries to cooking to serving and hoseok had chastised her multiple times about it.

even now, looking at the full restaurant, hoseok knew he couldn’t leave her to it.

so, after pushing her into the kitchen, he manned the counter for a while and made light conversation with whoever came by.

it felt strange, after so many years, being back around jay’s family, being back in this restaurant where he spent many days and nights.

he shook his head, refusing to let the memories creep back in.

he was used to this, this was just a routine to him, he always helped out, and he knew jay would do it if he was here.

“she loves you a lot already, you don’t have to do all this,” your voice isn’t something he’s used to though, not here, and hoseok’s palms start sweating immediately.

fuck.

he didn’t even put on a good outfit today.

or even perfume, now that he thinks of it.

and he curses himself when you come into view.

“i do this because i love her a lot,” he says with a smile and you roll your eyes, “yeah i know, it’s annoying,” and he frowns, “why?”

but you just wave a hand at him and go into the kitchen.

and hoseok’s left with ten people waving their bills and money at him, so he plasters a smile on his face and continues working.

after some time passes, you come back out from the kitchen with a scowl on your face and hoseok knows this because he hasn’t stopped his eyes from flickering between the kitchen door and the counter in front of him.

“i’ve got it from here, move,” you bark at him as you reach him and hoseok’s frown deepens at you, “it’s only a couple of people, i’ll finish it, don’t worry,” he reassures you but it only seems to irritate you.

“this isn’t your job, hoseok, just move over,” the glare on your face makes hoseok throw his hands up in the air and step away from the counter.

and he goes to the kitchen, he hugs your mom goodbye and he doesn’t bother with saying anything to you while he leaves because he’s sure you will only curse at him. he’s too exhausted today.

but imagine his surprise when the clock strikes midnight, you are at his door with a few soju bottles, snacks, and a sheepish smile on your face.

what the fuck were you doing at his home?

“um, hi?” he adjusts his t-shirt as he greets you, suddenly too aware of his messy hair and pajama pants as his heart once again beats away from his body.

“can i come in?” you ask sheepishly, and he immediately moves away. as you look around his apartment, hoseok still finds it hard to believe that you’re here.

even as you set up the table with soju glasses and food, he can only follow you in a daze.

“come, sit,” you say as if it wasn’t his home, his table, and his chairs but hoseok obliges and sits down.

a few minutes pass with both of you just fidgeting, looking at and away from each other, scratching your necks, and rubbing your fingers together.

until you finally grab the soju bottle and inch toward him.

you take a deep breath in and hoseok lets one out, “i shouldn’t have been so rude at the store, it’s just,” you speak as you pour soju into a shot glass for him and he sits up in his seat, “jay used to be there all the time.” you swallow, moving the bottle away from him and pouring one for yourself too.

“i was there all the time too, you know that,” hoseok says gently, as if to a child and you nod, “yeah, but it was always you and him, not just you.”

always you and him.

not just you.

and the memories that hoseok tried so hard to keep in his head, started creeping their way onto his sneakers and jeans and slipping away like sand.

the nights they snuck in to steal the leftovers.

the days he spent munching down on snacks that your mom generously gave him and jay.

the evenings where they both fanned each other with rolled-up magazines.

the days he spent admiring you at the counter.

but he couldn’t remember the dates, he couldn’t remember the details like what he was wearing that evening when jay hit him with a wooden fan, what was jay wearing when he got dumped by his girlfriend and cried to hoseok, what would jay think of this moment right now, you in front of him with a couple of soju bottles that were bound to be empty soon?

he shifted in his seat, “i won’t come over anymore, i didn’t know you felt like this,” and you purse your lips, “don’t do that, hoseok.”

“do what?” his eyebrows draw closer and you put down your glass to stare at him straight, “be so understanding and nice, just tell me to fuck off and deal with my shit instead of taking it out on you, hate me a little bit because this isn’t fair to you and you know that too.”

hoseok is stunned to silence for a second.

and he has a feeling that these words weren’t just some sudden outburst, you never spoke without letting your thoughts settle so he knows you’ve felt this for a while.

when he catches your wobbling lip and the way you shove food into your mouth to stop the movement, he knows he’s right and his heart softens even more.

“i’m not going to hate you for missing your brother, y/n.” is all he says before he slides your glass towards him and pours you a shot too.

and for a second, you just eye the glass and then look at him with tears so heavy in your eyes that hoseok is surprised they haven’t rolled down your cheeks.

“i think you’re the only one who doesn’t,” you suck in a breath and take the shot, you barely feel the liquid burn down your throat or the tears that finally release from your eyes.

when he raises his eyebrows at you, you shrug with a sniff and look away.

for the rest of the night, hoseok tries to forget that this was exactly how you looked on the mary-go-around ten years ago.

tears on your jaw.

flushed cheeks.

the same coily hair.

for the rest of the night, hoseok stops himself from falling in love again.

“again!” your mom threw her hands up in delight after winning one more game of ludo that hoseok had brought over.

you groaned and complained loudly to her, face held up by your elbow and hoseok watched with warm eyes as you and your mom argued about the win.

but he also felt acutely, the empty cushion next to him.

“you’re just a sore loser, learn a thing or two from hoseok,” your mom brought him back to the world, unscathed from his best friend’s haunting.

and hoseok nods proudly, dissolving into giggles when you scoff at him and your mom high-fives him.

“you’re letting her win,” you stare pointedly at him as your mom leaves to bring more snacks and hoseok shrugs happily, “guilty as charged,” and ducks with a laugh when a shower of peanut shells gets thrown in his direction.

“i knew it!” you screeched and he fell onto the floor with a belly full of joy, “mom, i told you, he was letting you win,” you stomped into the kitchen and hoseok heard more sounds of an argument from the kitchen, he rolled his eyes in endearment.

that night, you drop him in your car, and the entire ride, you’re laughing, he’s laughing, you’re speaking nonsense, he’s speaking nonsense, you’re falling on the seat to cover your face and he’s pulling his hands over his eyes to cover his face.

and at his door, you look at him with a face so free of everything.

no lines of worry on your forehead.

no frown between your eyebrows.

no hesitance to smile.

just a hint of moonlight falling over the right side of your face and some of your hair.

and hoseok wonders if he looks the same, if he looks just as beautiful and calm.

but when you keep staring at him with those curious, those tender eyes that he feels you reserve just for him, as if he has the answer to everything, as if he was the answer to everything, hoseok’s heart races in panic and buried love.

both of you realize at the same time, that ten minutes had passed and you were about two inches closer than you were at the beginning of the ride.

he stumbles out of the car, you stutter a goodbye to him and he nods hastily, urging you to leave.

that night, once again, hoseok begs himself to stop falling in love.

you only called him once in the many years that he’s known you and it was to tell him that jay had died, it was a freak accident, no one could’ve done anything and hoseok had thought that it was all a dream but your voice, as always, rang true in his ears and he knew that his life, as it was, would change forever.

“hoseok, i-it’s jay, someone hit him with a bike, i don’t know what’s going on, they’re saying they can’t read his pulse, please just come here, p-please.”

your sobs had shaken him so badly that he stumbled out of his camp cabin in his pajamas and he held your mom’s hand the entire time they tried to resurrect jay in the emergency room but once jay flatlined, your mom crumbled in his arms and you ran out of the hospital, you refused to look at him after that night.

and he understands why, he should’ve been there for jay, he should’ve made sure that his best friend didn’t go out for a walk that night or he should’ve gone with jay and been the one to get hit instead.

but it was all over now, and all hoseok was left with was a heavy heart filled with enough guilt for all the years he would live.

so when hoseok’s phone rang in the middle of the night with your name flashing on his screen, his brain unearthed the entire tragedy, the entire night with its roots pulled out of him and he was gasping for breath as he answered.

could it be that something happened to your mom?

did something happen to you?

did something happen to him and everyone else knew but him?

“she’s not letting us call her mom but she said your name, can you come to pick her up?” and twenty minutes later, hoseok pulled up to the only nightclub in the neighborhood to pick you up.

he struggled to hold back a laugh as he saw you draped over your friend’s arms, blissfully drunk, giggling, and utterly exhausted. when he started walking over to you, all of your friends began groaning and complaining to him about you which only made it harder for him not to laugh until your entire weight was shifted onto him and hoseok closed his eyes when you buried your face in his neck, savoring the tender moment.

just like every other minute that he’s alone with you, hoseok can’t believe this minute either.

“i’ve got her from here,” he says, carefully shifting your body to make you more comfortable and you hum in your drunken state, pushing your cheeks further into his collarbones and hoseok tries not to freeze.

“you should join us next time!” your friends all chime in together, their enthusiasm and kind intentions bleed around them and touch hoseok’s heart, maybe he had been too quick to judge them and hoseok gives in, nodding unsurely and they all erupt in cheers which makes him smile.

you had good people around you.

and that made him the happiest person in the world.

as he waves goodbye to them, his hands hold your body closer to him when you start to slide off and all of them exchange looks which hoseok ignores.

he carefully puts you in the passenger seat and pulls off the sidewalk.

he turned up the air conditioner, feeling his body get warmer and warmer as the seconds passed and he forces himself to look at the road and not you.

“hoseok?” the red light glowed on your face when he looked towards you, “yeah, it’s me, just taking you back home,” he doesn’t stop his hands from moving your hair away from your face and caressing your temples with his fingers.

how many years have passed with him missing you?

how many years of loving you has he missed out on?

he doesn’t know how jay would feel about this, maybe he would gag at hoseok’s tender eyes at this moment, perhaps he would tease him but he knows jay wouldn’t hate it.

hoseok pulls back almost immediately as you start to shift, only to relax when your face melts into his fingers.

if it didn’t feel so wrong, hoseok would’ve sat the rest of the night just looking at you and letting the rest of the world pass by.

“don’t take me to mom’s,” you whine and he laughs at your scrunched-up face, “okay, where do you want to go?”

“your’s,” you mumble, and hoseok’s face goes red, it takes him a few minutes and several cars honking at him to come back to earth.

when hoseok carefully lays you on the side of his body and takes you to his bedroom, he bears the torture of your arms tightening around his neck and the torture of your lips accidentally brushing on his skin.

“you like me, right?” you whisper into hoseok’s ear as he covers you with blankets on his bed and he freezes.

when he doesn’t respond, your eyes flutter open, still soft and fuzzy from the alcohol and you ask again, “hoseok, you like me, yes?”

and he’s taken back to the you that asked him out on a mary-go-around, the you that gave him the most honest confession of love in his life, the you that looked at him as if he ripped your heart out.

he nods, “of course i do, we’re family.” and you frown at him.

then, you sit up on the bed and lean forward to hold his face in your hands, hoseok starts sweating under the thin t-shirt he wore, and your fingers touch his face in places that he’s sure didn’t exist before, and every nerve of his melts and burns.

“i’ve always wanted to ask you something,” he says, now that there was no distinction between his breaths and yours and you nod, urging him to go on, “i thought i was always the one who had something to say,” you giggle, falling on his shoulder and hoseok laughs with you.

“why did you start talking to me again? after all this time? it can’t just be because of your mother,” and your laughter vanishes from the air around him, your touch too lifts from his shoulder, and hoseok’s confusion and curiosity grow.

he knows he’s asked the wrong thing, and said the wrong thing, he always does, but why would this question make you so upset?

he just wanted to know why after so many years of ignoring his entire existence, you suddenly chose to come to his home, and suddenly back into his life.

but he also loves that you’re back in his life.

“you don’t have to tell me, go to s-“ he gets up from the bed but is stopped by a hand grabbing his wrist tightly and he sinks back down beside you.

“my reasons are selfish, hoseok,” your tears come back and hoseok is rushing to wipe them away before they ever leave your eyes which only makes them gather faster.

“i don’t care,” he shakes his head and he really doesn’t.

“you should.”

“but i don’t.”

use him, don’t use him, throw him away, or keep him, he’s okay with it all.

your eyes search in his face, any trace of a lie, any trace of dishonesty and you find none that urges you to say, “i need you.”

a strange rush of warmth and bashfulness washes over hoseok as your words run him over.

“it hurts so much and i can’t do this alone, i need you, i just want it to stop hurting,” and hoseok’s heart stops at your broken voice because he knows what’s hurting you and nothing in the world can fix that kind of pain, “i don’t know how to live anymore, every time i come home, i miss him in the space next to my mom, i miss him in the counter that you stand at now, i miss him everywhere and i can’t say this to anyone.”

hoseok barely feels your hands grabbing his as your sobs climb up your throat, “except you, hoseok. no one knows what i feel, it’s pathetic that i miss him still but so do you, i know you feel this too, right?”

and he knows, he knows exactly what it feels like and he also knows that this was building in you since over the past ten years, the same way it’s been building in him.

that sense of loss that never goes away.

that sense of waiting for the relief that comes with moving on, that never came.

that sense of having nowhere to go and cry it out because the rest of the world doesn’t see what it’s lost, only he can and only you can.

“i do,” he finally choked out and your cries grew louder, hoseok winced at the volume and tapped your arms to calm you down but he was barely calm himself.

years and years of his grief catch up to him, run him over, trample over him and his mind ignites with every single second he spent with jay, every single he spent missing jay and then ignoring his memory.

all of it grabs him by the throat and chokes him but he lets your head fall onto his shoulder, and keeps his own tears away from his eyes as your body breaks on him.

when you were kids, hoseok had held you when you were laughing, he had felt your joy go through him, spread onto him, he could feel your happiness as if it was his own.

when you laughed in the car with him, the sound jogged his memory on how to laugh, on how to feel happiness again, he felt it go in and out of him in waves that he couldn’t control.

it was a miracle to him that just by touching someone, you can feel what they feel.

but now, holding you when you were crying, feeling every tear on his own skin, the burden of it all sunk him deeper than he could pull out of but he held you, he wrapped a singular arm around you and buried his head in your hair.

if anyone was going to know that he cried about jay, it was you and if anyone was going to miss jay with you, it was him.

and that night, he let himself fall in love.

the next morning, hoseok woke up with swollen eyes but a happy heart, a less lonely heart, he got up from the couch and entered his bedroom where he spent several minutes just staring at your face and stopped himself from kissing your cheek.

he stepped out of the bedroom quietly, padding his feet as gently as he could on the floor, and started preparing pancakes, hot chocolate, and everything else he could remember as something you liked as a kid.

hoseok couldn’t keep the smile off his face the entire time he whisked the batter, stirred the hot chocolate, and put out the plates. every moment that passed reminded him of you in his bedroom, it made him feel fuzzy and warm and ticklish, as if the sun had come to sit on his shoulder.

finally, his life was falling into place.

he almost jumped in excitement when the sound of his bedroom door creaking echoed throughout his apartment. he peeked around the corner to see you dragging your feet with even more swollen eyes than his and he stifled a laugh.

“good morning, pretty,” hoseok sang and giggled when your groan came as a reply.

“what’s all this?” your eyes barely opened to see the spread of food in front of you and he shrugged, “just some breakfast for you, did you take the aspirin beside the bed?”

you nodded and stood unsurely until hoseok got up and pushed you to sit down gently, “sit down, it’s all still hot, have it soon,” he kissed the top of your head and you stiffened under him.

hoseok quickly stepped away, laughing uncomfortably, and sat down as well.

for the next few minutes, he waited as you took in everything in front of you and his heart raced the entire time.

did he do too much?

was he moving too fast?

but he had already wasted so much time over the years, he wasn’t going to make the same mistak-

“why?”

hoseok frowns at your question, leaning forward to see if he heard it right but when he looks up, he sees your tear-filled eyes and he knows he’s fucked up somehow.

“w-what happened?”

“why are you doing all this?” he doesn’t know if you’re asking him or accusing him of something.

“what do you mean?”

“why.are.you.doing.this?” you punctuate every word with quick breaths and hoseok knows he’s pissed you off.

why or how he’s done that, he has no idea.

“i thought some food would be nice in the morning, especially with your hangover,” he stumbles over his words because he didn’t think he would ever have to explain why he made breakfast for someone.

you stay quiet.

he says your name.

once.

twice.

thrice.

then, you get up from the chair and look at him with both the most anger he’s felt in someone and also, the most pain, “i can’t do this,” you mumble and in the next minute, hoseok’s door is left wide open and your seat is empty.

he watches the food go cold and tries to hold himself together as he clears everything up, all the warmth he felt in the morning disappeared down the same drain that his food went.

and all he could was watch and let it happen.

weeks passed and hoseok dipped in and out of the restaurant, trying to see you, catch a word with you, and try to fix things, but whenever you saw him, you ran away.

whenever he waved to you, you would hesitantly lift your hand and then look away, engaging yourself with someone else.

whenever he called you, you wouldn’t pick up.

his messages remained on delivered.

and hoseok’s heart broke little by little as he saw you intentionally pull away from him.

he couldn’t understand why, you had such a beautiful night together, you had poured your heart out to him and he had done the same to you but somehow, it was as if that night didn’t exist to you.

maybe he read it all wrong?

maybe you just needed him as someone who felt the same as you, who experienced the same grief and here he was, his heart growing wings and the love he buried blooming again.

but you had loved him ten years ago.

and that confession was still fresh in his mind, still the most honest thing he’s heard in his life.

maybe he was stupid for ever thinking that you still felt the same love from ten years ago?

but as his mind replayed your words, ‘i need you’, it didn’t make sense to him that suddenly, you wanted to push him away.

“take these when you go home,” your mom packed him multiple boxes of side dishes and rice and everything else she could cook throughout the day and he nodded, thanking her with a kiss on her head, and headed for the door.

until he heard your voice.

his entire body froze at your presence.

but he’s had enough.

hoseok turned around and started walking with loud steps towards the kitchen, and when you came into his vision, he didn’t feel the warmth or the love or any of the good stuff.

he only felt the hurt that blinded him that morning, he only felt the pain spearing his heart as he threw everything away, he only felt the loneliness that played with him until the late hours of the night.

hoseok knows he’s not the best person but he also knows that he didn’t deserve that.

“you asked me that day, why i was doing all that. let me ask you now, why are you doing this?” he glared right at you, and in the corner of his eyes, he saw your mom glance between the two of you and then duck out of the kitchen.

he will apologize to her later.

in front of him, you tilted your head at him and tried to appear tough by crossing your arms across your chest and staring back at him.

but hoseok is past this, he’s tired of being lonely but he doesn’t want this, he doesn’t want to feel lonely when he’s in love.

“look, i don’t know what’s going through your mind and i never will until you tell me, but you can’t do this to me, you can’t push and pull whenever you like, i know you’re hurting somehow but i am too, so figure yourself out and then come to me because i know that i’m not alone in this feeling, i know you feel it too.”

with that, hoseok marched out of the kitchen, hugged your mom on the way out and went back to his empty home, where he might’ve felt lonely but he at least didn’t feel miserable.

you will hopefully find your way back to him.

but if you don’t, hoseok’s just going to have to find a way to be okay with that too.

days passed again and hoseok tried to move on.

you didn’t call or message or try to reach him and he took it as a rejection, which was still okay, he would still be okay.

he busied himself with his work, with your mom’s restaurant, and tried to learn how to cook, tried to liven up his apartment with knick-knacks, he took up arts and crafts.

hoseok did everything he could think of and for the most part, he really was okay.

but he also really wasn’t that okay.

he drifted through the days, pushed you out of his mind, and drank a bit from time to time to forget you only to hover his finger over your contact every night, he still kept the blanket you slept on in the corner of his room and not in the laundry basket where it should’ve been.

but still.

he was okay, he told himself, he would go back to some version of himself which was okay.

hoseok walked to the restaurant with his head down, earphones in and counted his steps because he had nothing else to do.

when he reached, he still didn’t look up, he continued to his counter where he removed his hoodie and put on an apron, humming to himself and cleaning the counter up.

until your mom’s shoes came into his view and by the time he looked up, she had grabbed his arm and started shaking him which made him frown.

he looked up to see her tear-streaked face and echoes of her sobs that traveled from her hands to him and the desperate shouts he could only see with his earphones in.

his hands shakily reached up to remove his earphones and then he heard it.

the heart-stopping cries and yells.

hoseok’s eyes went round with panic and he immediately grabbed her body as she fell onto him, he tried his best to soothe her but seeing her tears, was already choking him up.

he tried to keep his panic at bay as he patted her back and tried to make sense of her babbling.

what if something happened to you?

he couldn’t deal with that kind of grief; he wouldn’t survive it.

“she hasn’t picked up a single call,” something did happen to you, and hoseok bit the inside of his cheek to hold back his sobs.

“ma,” he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to look into his eyes, “please breathe with me,” she nodded, timing her inhalation and exhalation with him and when her sniffles subsided, she told him, “she ran away this morning, i’ve looked everywhere and i’ve called everyone, no one has seen her, i don’t know what to do and the police aren’t doing anything until she’s gone for a day but you know her, she never does this.”

she rambled endlessly to him and hoseok held onto her the entire time, feeling only a bit hurt that she never called him but that wasn’t a concern right now.

at the end of it, he offered her a glass of water, removed his apron, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before heading straight for the door.

“hoseok,” he stopped at her voice, “i only didn’t call you because i know you two aren’t doing well right now, otherwise you know you’re like my son.” and hoseok melted, he smiled and took her hands as he said, “don’t worry about that ma, we’re family, you keep calling people and i’ll try to find her.”

he didn’t know what to feel once he stepped out of the restaurant.

in the restaurant, he could focus on reassuring and comforting your mom, he could place all his energy into caring for her but now, he was alone and he didn’t know what to feel.

hoseok got into his car only to realize he didn’t know where to fucking begin, you could be anywhere by this time, even a different city but he has a feeling that you were not too far.

but he didn’t know that with certainty either.

every thought he had only put him in a chokehold as his mind reeled with every worst-case scenario.

nevertheless, he put his fears aside and started the car.

the next few hours, he drove in every street, looked in every club and café, kept checking his phone some one million times, and stopped at the entrance of his summer camp where his life seemed to begin and end.

jay would’ve had a panic attack if he was here with hoseok right now, hoseok smiled as he thought of how worried jay would’ve been and how he probably would’ve cursed you out after finding you, how he would’ve hugged you and hoseok in relief, how he would never let it happen again.

jay would’ve been so many things if he was still there with hoseok and that killed hoseok every day.

he kept staring at the entrance where he ran out of the day jay died, where he held back his tears and shook his head and told himself that it was all a lie, that his best friend was still alive.

hoseok threw his head back on his car seat.

grief was so unfair; it took away so much and left him with so little.

if it was so hard for him, he couldn’t imagine how much more angry or sad grief would’ve made you over the years.

and just as he blinks back tears, his phone rings and he runs his hand over his face to answer it, “ma, i’m still out, don’t worry, we’ll find her,” he starts reassuring only to hear nothing on the other end.

“hello?” he frowns.

“hoseok?”

and he almost drops his phone in relief.

“god, are you okay?” he immediately sits up, starting the car again, “where are you? i’m coming to get you right now, what the fuck were you thinking?”

“why aren’t you home?”

“huh?”

“why aren’t you home right now?”

“are you at my place?” hoseok frown becomes even deeper and he knows your silence only means one thing, he sighs out, “stay there.”

and he’s turning the car, calling your mom to tell her the news, and feeling a hundred different emotions as he reaches the lane of his apartment.

right by his door, he finds you, sitting on the floor with your knees to your chest and the rocks slid off his shoulders, he feels air enter his chest at the sight of you, unharmed and safe and breathing and…alive.

he doesn’t know why he’d even thought as far as you being dead but he couldn’t help it.

it was midnight but the moonlight, as always, found you and your tears, and hoseok sat right next to you and stretched his legs out in front of him.

“why didn’t you say anything back?” he hears you mumble and he frowns, “when?”

“that day in summer camp, when i told you i liked you, why didn’t you say anything back?”

and hoseok sighs, the secret he’s held in his heart for as long as he remembers, starts crawling up his throat, “i like you too,” and his lack of using the past tense has you sitting up straight, tears now reduced to sniffles.

“you do?” and the way you ask it almost has him hitting his own head, how did he ever let you think otherwise?

“i would be crazy if i didn’t,” he smiles weakly at you, his heart suddenly exposed and raw and beating louder than it ever has before, and you fall back on the wall, “but you just walked away then.”

and hoseok knows he can’t hide it anymore.

“i didn’t say anything because i went to jay,” hoseok recalls how cold the night was, how quick his steps were to reach his best friend and he watches your face light up and fall, all in just seconds.

“i needed to ask him if it was okay, i needed to tell him that i liked his sister and that i wanted to take care of her, and he didn’t like it,” hoseok shakes his head, a strained laugh leaving his lips, “we fought all night, but i guess he saw how much i meant it, so he gave me his blessing,” he looks up at you and you’re closing your eyes, letting your head fall back.

“he gave us his blessing, y/n, he did and that’s why i’ve never given up on you, he was so dramatic about it, you would’ve hit him if you saw him say it,” he laughs, the memory still so fresh of jay hugging hoseok and whispering to him that he would be dead the next second if he ever hurt you, how jay stopped himself from smiling as he thought of you with him.

he kept that close to his heart and never told anyone about it, it was for him and jay until today but now, it was for you too.

every time he felt bitter over the years that you avoided him, hoseok reminded himself that he loved you and he always will, and jay would love that hoseok loved you.

and you’re holding back sobs that still escape and tear into the world.

“i’m sorry,” he hears you say and he hums before placing your head on his shoulder, he tries not to cry when he feels your sobs, he sniffles and looks at his feet.

“i was so scared that morning, i told you everything i’ve never told anyone the night before and you still treated me with love, i thought you would tell me to leave, that you would finally have had enough but you didn’t and it still scared me. you shouldn’t be in my life hoseok, i will ruin you,” his heart sinks and hoseok moves closer to you because he doesn’t know where he belongs if it’s not beside you.

“i don’t want to be anywhere else,” he says and presses his hand to the side of your head.

“i can’t stop missing him, hoseok, i don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you shake your head and he sighs, feeling his throat close up.

“i miss him too.”

“but it’s been so long and i feel like i should move on by now, i don’t know,” you mumble, your tears falling into his shirt and skin.

“jay’s not some ancient history but i think he would hate both of us for being stuck like this.”

“i don’t know another way to live.”

“neither do i,” he shrugs, he knows how lonely he’s felt, how solitary his life was but, “but it will always hurt, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot, you lost a brother, a companion for life, i lost a best friend, my soulmate and it’s always going to hurt. but i don’t want either of us to be alone in that pain, we don’t deserve that.”

life can take everything away from him but if we had a few good people and he could love those people, that was enough for him.

“it’s about time we start living for jay, do everything he would’ve done, feel everything he would’ve felt, and keep him alive, don’t you think so?”

and when you nod, fall on his shoulder, and whisper your love to him, it’s just like the first time, the most honest words he’s heard in his life.

hoseok knows his life can sometimes feel empty but sometimes, like right now, it can feel so full that he wouldn’t know what to do with all the love he gave and received.

he whispers his love back to you.

until dawn, you cried on his shoulder, and in the morning, hoseok made breakfast for you, you kissed him and whispered your thanks, he kissed you and whispered his love again, and you smiled and ate the food he made.

and it was calm, normal, another day but everything had changed once again for hoseok.

because this time, he had you and you had him, and in both your hearts and minds, you had jay.

and you learned to live life again, with love, and not just regret, with happiness, and not just guilt.

you lived, not just to grieve and mourn, but to actually live and build a life, with hoseok right by your side. he lived, without

taglist: @blissingtaehyung @cuteipat @hobicorewhore @yoongleskitten @mrjeonghan @greenie-frog @avawants2havefun @an-ever-angry-bi @alyenorgondorwarrior thank you all so much for liking the preview, i hope you enjoy the full fic <3]

163 notes · View notes

luvismenu · 7 months ago

Text

Three Way || Maknae Line (VMinKook)

[completed] - no taglist

summary: never did you imagine you'd end up with three fuck buddies. they fucked you so good making it impossible to choose just one. so, they devised a plan; they would take turns fucking you, and you couldn't say no.

a/n: this was my second fic so... it's kinda messy !!!

genre:

smau

implied + actual smut

fluff + crack

angst?

warning: maknae line can get pretty... competitive, might get toxic sometimes, mentions of alcohol, smoking, jealousy issues.

m.list

note: this was supposed to be a texting scenario but it was too good to not be a series!!!

Index ♡ 30/30

➷ 1 (wannabes)

➷ 2 (monday)

➷ 3 (details)

➷ 4 (sus)

➷ 5 (kisses and cuddles)

➷ 6 (nice guy)

✎ 6 pt.2 (perfect man)

➷ 7 (effort)

➷ 8 (chill out)

➷ 9 (friends)

➷ 10 (friends pt.2)

➷ 11 (new)

✎ 11 pt.2 (frustrated)

➷ 12 (phase)

➷ 13 (confused)

✎ 13 pt.2 (missed you)

➷ 14 (time)

➷ 15 (move on)

➷ 16 (gifts)

➷ 17 (tomorrow)

➷ 18 (joking)

➷ 19 (dry)

➷ 20 (talk)

➷ 21 (complicated)

➷ 22 (explanation)

➷ 23 (silly break)

➷ 24 (scammer)

➷ 25 (butterflies)

➷ 26 (addiction)

➷ 27 (boba)

➷ 28 (you and me)

➷ 29 (oop)

➷ 30 (my you) / end.

Extras —

• how you and jungkook became friends (with benefits)

• after they agreed to the sex schedule

289 notes · View notes

thelingodingo · 6 months ago

Text

BTS' Speech Styles

Like anybody, the members of BTS have their own speech patterns and language quirks that make their speaking unique to themselves. So I thought it would be interesting to make a post that goes deeper into the details of how each member speaks in Korean!

Jin: He talks in an old-fashioned manner (very exaggerated ahjusshi) and doesn’t use much slang. He also uses a lot of puns consistently, its quite impressive and cringy honestly. His vocabulary isn't as varied and wide as RM but his grammar is pretty spot on. Also very speedy at talking and hard to understand sometimes. On top that, he's great at getting his point across in serious situations without adding unnecessary emotion.

Suga: I think I once heard a fandom myth that he has a lisp (which he very much does not). But he does mumble a lot and stretches his ㅔ's, making it very difficult for even native Korean speakers to understand him properly. On top of that, Suga also speaks incredibly quickly, making it another thing that makes it very hard to understand him (no wonder he's a rapper). Sometimes, he speaks very swaggy. Sometimes, he speaks like an old uncle. Sometimes, he's like RM and gets very eloquent with his wording.

J-Hope: Because of his dialect, he sounds very warm and friendly. He also seems to enjoy using words such as 되게 (really) and 뭔가 (somewhat) veryveryvery often. His tone fluctuates alot and something about the way he pronounces words is very crisp and staccato-like. He can also be very serious and deadass as well.

RM: He speaks very intellectually and educated. Both his vocabulary and sentence structure is very high-level, sometimes choosing difficult and unconventional words. Every now and then he jokes around in the many different dialects he picked up from the rest of the members (he doesn't come from a place that speaks a different dialect like the others). His normal speaking is also very unique sometimes due to the influence he has from the different dialects of the members, over the years he basically created his very own dialect that's a mix of all the different dialects together. This makes his speech so nuanced and special and difficult to fully translate/convey.

Jimin: Has a very friendly and down to earth tone when talking to fans since he speaks informally. His speech pattern is very playful, sweet, and cheeky. During other occasions, he speaks formally to fans and has the most "feminine" sounding speech style. You can tell he selects words very carefully and delicately to be as nice as possible. In Korea, he has a nickname of Park DaJeong, meaning "Tender Park" due to his speech style. Sometimes, he slips into dialect which is when he sounds a bit "rougher".

Taehyung: Is a big fan of using and repeating adverbs such as 약간, 조금, 진짜, etc. In Korea, people call the way he speaks 태태어 (Tae's language) because of how interestingly different and lowkey peculiarly he speaks Korean. It doesn't have much to do with his dialect, he literally just speaks that way. (he can speak amazingly when needed, it's just that he has his own quirks when speaking in casual situations)

Jungkook: He speaks with hints of dialect quite often, making him sound very rough and most "masculine" sounding in Korean out of all the members. I think he has a very clear and smooth tone which makes it easy to listen to him, so if you're learning Korean he might be a good person to do listening practice. He's not as polished in vocabulary/grammar compared to RM and Jimin but he's still great at speaking.

Something I want to mention is that the younger members very commonly use honorifics/polite social conventions/formal speech towards the older members even with their closeness and family-like relationship. This is actually something about BTS that is highly praised among Korean society due to how professional and respectful it makes them seem.

There's probably more to analyze and delve into when it comes to the members' speaking styles and patterns but this post is just a general overview.

Please let me know if theres any inaccuracies or if you want more posts like this!

206 notes · View notes

abcthv9597 · 1 month ago

Text

241011 - Hoseok on Weverse:

Translation from miiniyoongs on Twitter:

this hyung is really sincere about tuna

#241011 #hoseok #jung hoseok #jhope #j hope bts #bts jhope #bts updates #bts #bangtan #weverse

136 notes · View notes

your-beautiful-dancing-disaster · 17 days ago

Text

Hobi ☀️

68 notes · View notes

solarwonux · 7 months ago

Text

Business Proposal || knj (9/?)

pairing: namjoon x f!reader || ex friends to lovers!au friends to lovers!au

Genre: fluff, angst, smut, slow burn, fwb!au, non idol!au, unrequited love

Warnings: slow burn, angst, fluff, flirting, semi-edited, smut, fingering, eating out, unprotected sex.

Rating: mature, 18+

w.c: 8.0

Synopsis: Namjoon is living on borrowed time, and it’s time to cash in. His father is months from taking his last breathe and his life long dream is to watch his oldest son say “I do.”

A/n: lol, hello, I'm sorry for being so MIA lately. I kinda have had half of this written since November but my mom came to visit me in Korea and I forgot about it haha. If you are still here thank you for sticking around! Enjoy! Let me know your thoughts!

Prev | next

m.list | series m.list | wattpad

10 Years Ago

Things were finally looking up.

“If you just remember everything we have gone over you'll be fine.” He simply says like it's no big deal, waving you off.

You on the other hand are filled with the gnawing pain of your nerves. As you look down at your notebook filled with an equal mixture of correct and incorrect answers.

Maybe things weren't really looking up.

“I think we should do a few more.” You rush out, flipping to a new page. In that exact moment, the buzzer in Namjoon's hand goes off, and he stands up.

He pushes in his chair and walks to stand beside you, putting a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Over studying is not the answer.” He says gently, giving your shoulder a light squeeze before walking away to pick up your drinks.

Your protest dying as you burn daggers into his back. You aren't sure if it's a good thing that he has so much faith in you. When you don't have an ounce in yourself. Especially when in two days you'll hopefully end your misery with the dreaded math final.

It's been two whole months since you've started your weekly tutoring sessions with Namjoon. You aren't completely lost in class anymore. If you are, you just come to the broad man and drown him in all kinds of questions. With this tactic you've even managed to get an eighty-five present in your last math test.

The only thing left for you to pass is the stupid final.

You have been seeing Namjoon a lot more this week. Scheduling, and practically begging him to squeeze you into his tight schedule since Monday. A request to brush up on equations and gain some clarity on things you might have forgotten. To say the least, your test anxiety has reached a whole new level. You visibly look exhausted, your skin is oilier than usual, sporting a few painful pimples on your chin, and your hair looks so greasy despite just washing it in the morning. You should feel slightly ashamed for even leaving your house looking like a hot mess, but your thoughts are suffocating. Staying in would make the panic in the pit of your stomach worse.

Especially when you and your tutor have recently discovered your inability to do word problems. The main reason why you keep calling Namjoon at three in the morning. Even though he thinks you're just being paranoid, especially with the silent sigh of defeat you hear through your phone speaker. He tries his best to reassure you that you're going to be fine at the end of the day.

“There will probably be three, five at most. He had said last night when you called.

Thankfully he had stayed up revising his final paper, instead of being three dimensions deep in dream land like on Sunday when you called. Still, even though he had muttered out a tiny complaint, he stayed on the line with you. Until you were calm enough to fall asleep again.

In just three months your acquaintance has blossomed into a full on friendship. Along with your sneaking suspicion that both Taehyung and Jimin like him better. It was obvious last Friday night when Jimin had a small end of the semester get together at his apartment. Namjoon got so drunk he performed the entirety of Grease Lightning on karaoke. Including the dance break with special guest and step brother Jeon Jungkook.

Later on in the night the older of the four cried about the final scene in the Titanic. It was a rollercoaster of emotions, but heartwarming to be able to see a different side of the Philosophy student.

“Look who decided to join us.” You jump, placing your pen down in your notebook, closing it to hold your page. You turn around, feeling a wide smile come onto your face when you lock eyes with the other source of your happiness these last few months.

“Hobi,” you exclaim, holding your arms out to him. He chuckles, and leans down giving you one of those awkward hugs one gives when the other person is sitting down. It only lasts a few seconds and then he is leaning his head back to plant a sloppy kiss on your cheek, making you cringe.

“Ew,” you pout, wiping your cheek with the back of your hand. He chuckles, pecking your lips lightly and then taking the seat next to you.

“Joon says you need a break from being a math wizard.” He chuckles, dragging your notebook to him. He places his arms over it keeping it hostage.

You whine crossing your arms in front of you, pouting like a child. “But what if I don't pass. I don't want to have to take the class a third time.”

Namjoon shakes his head, sets your chamomile tea in front of you, and sits down. “I already told you, you won't. I did the math last night. Even if you get a sixty five percent, you'll still be able to pass the class with a B.” He states firmly and takes a sip from his coffee.

You huff, sinking further into the chair. “I don't want a B, I want an A.”

Hoseok snakes an arm over your shoulders and brings you close to his side.” “Then you will pass the class with an A honey cakes.” He kisses your temple before resting his cheek on top of your head. You take a deep breath, nodding and snuggling closer to him.

“So are you two dating now?” Namjoon leans back in his seat, crossing his arms in front of him.

Hoseok waves an arm, brushing off the question that has been surrounding the two of you these past three weeks. “You know it's not like that.” He answers before you can. He pulls his arm away and sets them both on top of your notebook. He sends you a knowing wink.

“Yeah you out of all people should know it's not like that.” You back up Hoseok, sticking your tongue out at the other. “How's Rina by the way?” You challenge making the man next to you burst out in a fit of giggles.

You see, most of the things Jungkook told you about Namjoon prior to your first meeting have all been lies. Or just not the whole truth.

Namjoon was a broody person. He did put his studies as one of his priorities in life. And he didn't want a relationship.

Yet in the last few months you have gotten to know the career driven man. You've also managed to peel back some of his layers.

He did have his moments of indignation, but he could also be very playful and funny. This side mostly comes out when Hoseok is around or when he wants you to get your mind off the things that have been stressing you out. He does have a strong work ethic, but he also knows when to take a break.

There have even moments in your tutoring slash now study sessions when he forces you to take walks. He says it helps clear your head, but you also know it's his way to get his ideas to flow again whenever he feels stuck.

During these walks you've managed to find out more things about him. He loves museums because he's shit at art, and knowing that there are people out there who aren't makes him appreciate the art a lot more. At least once every two months he visits the tree he and his father planted his mother’s ashes at to update her on his life. He cares so much for Jungkook and his mother even if he doesn't show it all the time. And despite not wanting a relationship he has been head over heels for the girl he's been casually hooking up with for the last two years.

Though he won't come out and say it himself. You have witnessed the way his face settles down into something calmer. And his eyes light up whenever his phone rings and her name pops up on the screen.

He once spent thirty minutes talking about a joke she had told him one night. Spoiler alert, it wasn't a good one, but it was adorable watching him try to get it out in-between chuckles.

You also know he shares the same negative sentiment Jungkook has about your current relationship with his best friend. But just like he claims that his relationship with Rina is complicated. So, is yours with the ray of sunshine you get to now call friend.

“She's fine.” He shrugs, clearing his throat and looking out the window. You share a look with Hoseok before letting out a fit of shared giggles.

If someone had once told you that your strict math tutor slash friend would turn into a shy mess with just the simple mention of a name. You would've thought they were fucking with you. Even if it still surprises you a little bit.

“You should just ask her to be your girlfriend.” Hoseok chimes in.

Namjoon throws his head back groaning. “It wouldn't work out if I do, plus that would require for me to act like a boyfriend and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment.” He speaks with his eyes trained on the high ceiling of the cafe.

You lean forward placing your elbows on top of the table and wrapping your arms around the hot mug. “You already do Namjoon. A switch of labels is not going to change anything. And don't you think she deserves some kind of confirmation and respect when it comes to your relationship?” You finish tilting your head to the side.

“I do respect her though, which is why I don't want to ask her, like you just said a label won't change anything.”

You let out a sigh, “I didn't say that you didn't respect her. I just think that from a girl's perspective she might be feeling a little bit confused with your words and actions. You say the two of you aren't anything serious but then you act like you can't live without her. If I was in her shoes I would feel very frustrated. So, maybe you don't have to make this big grand gesture or ask her to officially be your girlfriend but just clarify things between the two of you. If you aren't serious about her then so be it but if you are then tell her that.” You finish and take your first sip from your tea.

“I agree with honey cakes, just be a little more straight forward that's all.” Hoseok shrugs before standing up.

Namjoon rolls his eyes, and looks between the two of you. “And what about you?” He counteracts childishly. You knew it was coming. In his eyes the two of you giving him advice when you're in a similar situation is a bit hypocritical. Plus you and Hoseok are on the same page so it's di–

“That's different.” Hoseok speaks before you. “And this is about your love life not ours.” He states stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“Whatever.” Namjoon brushes off. You sigh, aware that if you choose to continue the conversation it will end in the three of you having a petty argument. You look at Hoseok as he leans down, placing a delicate kiss on your cheek, making the man witnessing the affectionate gesture scoff in annoyance.

If he wants to say something he doesn't voice it instead he opens his leather bound notebook to a new page.

Hoseok ignores him and stands up straight. “Are we still on tonight?”

You nod. “I can't stay for long though I want to catch up on sleep.”

“Fine then just one movie it is.” He winks before turning on his heels. Leaving you behind with the grumpy man. He looks up from his journal, opening his mouth, but you raise a hand to stop him. “It's different Namjoon.”

Namjon clicks his tongue in annoyance and shrugs. “Whatever, let's just do one more world problem before calling it a day.”

“Fine,” you huff, sliding your notebook in front of you and opening it to a clean page.

Just one more day and you'll be free from this torture.

Hoseok's apartment is everything you expect from the maximest man. Just upon walking in you are hit with waves of bright colors. By the doorway there are different KAWS figurines that you can only imagine cost a fortune. Yet they greet you with their x'd out eyes as you remove your shoes.

Then you have to pass by the Supreme beaded curtain to finally enter the living room. A bright red leather couch is settled in the middle. With wine colored pillows and a black throw blanket that you've adopted since the first night you spent in Hoseok's arms.

Abstract art lines the walls behind the television. There are more figurines lining the shelves in between books, records, and framed pictures of his friends and families. Along with a few miscellaneous items that he's told you he's obtained over the years.

His TV is huge. Takes up almost the whole wall, but your favorite to watch movies since he installed a surround system upon moving in years ago.

You still remember the first night he invited you over. It was after spending two whole weeks texting non stop. He simply asked if you wanted to watch a movie with him and you thought why not.

One night led to another and now another. It always starts the same. The two of you spend days teasing one another through text. Lewd texts along with pictures. You come over for a movie and then you end up underneath him.

When it's over, he lets you use his shower while he orders takeout from the vegan restaurant a block down the road. And the two of you resume watching the movie as if neither of you were panting each other's names in pleasure.

A simple arrangement with absolutely no strings attached.

It was what you were expecting when you came over tonight. Not that you don't mind the nights in which you do come over and nothing happens other than the deep hearted talks over a slow record playing in the background. But that wasn't happening either, because ever since you arrived at his doorstep, the overzealous man has been quiet. Biting the inside of his cheek and moving around you far enough to raise suspicion.

It has your mind traveling back to the conversation that occurred in the afternoon. Was Hoseok having second thoughts? Or was there more to his actions than what you were picking up?

“Hobi,” you whisper the minute he enters his living room with a bowl of popcorn stepping over your legs that were resting on his coffee table. He silently settles down next to you, on the other side of the couch with a gap wide enough to fit a person in between.

Now you're more than positive that something is wrong.

You groan, “I think I'll just go home then.” You mumble, pushing the throw blanket of your shoulders.

This is enough to catch his attention. His eyes are wide behind his dark rimmed glasses and he sits up. “What why?” He tilts his head in confusion.

A dry chuckle escapes your lips. “You obviously don't want me around, so I'll just go. I need to go to sleep early anyway.” You shrug, slipping your feet in his fuzzy slippers and swiftly start making your way to grab your stuff in his room.

“No I–wait.” Finally, he speaks up, earning an eye roll from you that he can't see as your back is still turned.

With haltered steps you spin on your heel to face him again, “What? You've been acting strange since I got here. So, if you don't want me around I will just go home.”

At lightning speed he sets the bowl of popcorn on his coffee table, and stands up. He makes hasty steps towards you and when he is finally standing in front of you, he sets both of his hands on top of your shoulders.

“Don't leave…I'm sorry.” Hoseok's eyes cast down past your face. They settle upon the graphic on your old washed out t-shirt. He takes a deep breath and looks up again. His face twists into something you can't decipher. It's a look you've never seen him wear, and it settles hard into your chest.

He looks troubled, chewing on the inside of his cheek. His eyes dart to five different focal points. You know he's arguing with himself. When he finally looks at you in your eyes again. You can't help but shrink a little bit.

His features have hardened, and you want to reach out to smooth over the little worry lines in the middle of his forehead. Guilt washes over you.

For what?

You don't know but you hope more than anything that you'll soon find out.

“Can we talk?” He speaks up, letting his arms fall down, his knuckles brushing against your skin.

For a second you think he's going to pull away. Retrieve into his body, but when he grabs your hands and laces his fingers with yours. The guilt in the pit of your stomach dissipates and you're left with confusion.

When you don't answer his question, he repeats himself. This time differently, “I just think we need to talk, I've been thinking since this afternoon. I want to check up on you, and I guess us.” He clarifies, and now you're filled with a different kind of emotion. As much as you're relieved that you didn't do anything wrong per se. You are slightly annoyed that he couldn't just tell you that when you first arrived. Instead of ignoring you until you reached your breaking point.

Frustrated, you say slowly, “Then just say that, instead of ignoring me.”

Hoseok closes his eyes and sighs, nodding his head before speaking, “you're right I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind and I am not sure how to bring any of what I'm thinking about up.”

“Hobi, just say it. We agreed on clear communication when we realized that this was going to be more than just a one night stand.” You sigh, beginning to walk in the direction of his couch, stringing him along. “Whatever is on your mind, just say it.” You push him onto his couch and take the seat next to him, your body fully facing his, and you fold your legs beneath you.

He nods, running a hand down his face. “I don't think this is working anymore.” He whispers, eyes trained on his ceiling.

Okay you were definitely not expecting that, but instead of voicing your surprise, you squeeze his hand. Encouraging him to continue.

He does, “I think I'm slowly falling for you, well I don't know I'm confused about my feelings.” He whispers the end and falls quiet.

As much as you want to run away and hide at his confession. He looks troubled and you wouldn't be a good friend if you just left him to wallow in his thoughts. No matter the pressure that has settled in your chest. Or the fact that your heart thinks you're running a marathon, making your ears feel like they're about to fall off too.

With every passing moment you're finding that it's getting harder to breathe. You aren't dumb, the atmosphere has also changed, but it isn't because of his confession. It's because you are also a bit confused about your feelings.

You clear your throat, “W-What are you confused about?”

He stops his staring game with the ceiling, shifting his whole body to finally face you. “Do you know why both Kook and Joon are so against us?”

The question throws you off guard but you suppose it has to do with what he's going through. You do have an idea as to why your friends are raising a brow at your relationship. Jungkook’s warning the first day you met the barista is enough for you to get a rough idea of what they mean. But you want to hear it from him.

Still you don't know if you can trust your voice so you shake your head.

He continues, “I've never been in a relationship because I don't trust people to love me the way I know I can love them. So, I just sleep around, and when I get bored I break it off.”

“I know. They warned me about you when you immediately showed interest. And trust me I knew what I signed up for when we agreed to keep seeing each other. I don't expect anything more than what we are doing.” You tilt your head to the side.

“I know that's why I'm confused. At first that's all I expected and wanted. But then I don't know I feel so full and empty when I'm with you. I don't want you to leave when the night is over. You're the last thing I think about and the first thing I want to see. I've never felt this sure and comfortable with anyone ever, and I don't know what to do because we both know this isn't forever, your forever is with someone else, and so is mine. But for now I just want to be with you and know what it's like to fall in love and with you.” He takes a deep breath. “Even if it's just for a little bit. You know that next year I'll be leaving for that design school, and I'm sorry but nothing and no one is going to stop me. I've waited too long for this opportunity. I know I'm being selfish to ask you this, but can you please find it in your heart to let me be yours until then?”

Hoseok finishes. And you're left to your own devices. To deal with your emotions as they spill out of you in hot tears. You've never had someone confess to you so passionately before. Actually nobody has ever bothered. And even though it's semi depressing you can't help but feel on cloud nine with all his words wrapping around you in the warmth that he radiates.

Without thinking you kneel, and wrap your arms around his neck. “Okay let's do it.” You beam and he matches your smile. He leans in to kiss you but you place your hand over his mouth to stop him.

Confusion plagues him like a bitter sting. You laugh, “But only if you agree that when everything is over there's no drama between us, and if I ever get married you have to design my wedding dress.” You remove your hand, and cradle his cheek, rub your thumb over his eyebrow.

He chuckles, rolling his eyes. “You will get married.”

“Nah, but it's okay. I've accepted my faith.” You shrug, resting your forehead against his. His hands come up your cheek, squishing them slightly.

“You will honey cakes, that's why I'm already planning your dress design in my head.” He wipes your forgotten tears, and tilts your head to the side.

You feel your breathing get faster, as his heart shaped lips rest centimeters apart. “How are you so sure?” You whisper, swallowing thickly at the end.

He smirks, with a glint in his eye. Like he knows something you don't, “because I know someone who is also falling for you but they’re to dumb to notice “

“Who?”

“Secret,” he says before finally crashing his lips onto yours.

Hoseok’s room is equally as loud as his living room. It’s a little more diluted with simple decorations and a huge abstract painting on the wall in front of his bed. His bed takes up most of his space, adoring a black duvet with black sheets. He has three pillows and two of those you’ve taken ownership of. His brown dresser holds little trinkets of things he buys or finds in the pockets of his pants. It’s also home to a series of designer colognes. Your favorite one was definitely Terre d'Hermes. Somehow the smell always fills with comfort.

Your favorite part of his room–other than his bed–was his desk. They say you can tell a lot about a person by just looking at their work space.

He’s a messy artist. His sketches are always thrown around, or pinned on the corkboard hanging over his desk. He has two bookshelves filled with sketchbooks and magazines. Sometimes if you’re lucky he will leave his sketchbooks open, awarding you with a small glance of his work. He has different notebooks for different magazine cutouts. Each one labeled something like, ‘street’ or ‘formal’ or ‘one-day.’ The latter always peaks your interest but you’ve never thought to ask. He has a thousand different sketching materials, and so many colorful markers. You just know that he was that kid in class with the sixty-four crayola back.

He's passionate about his craft. A passion that shines through everything that he does. Especially when he’s sharing that passion with you. Now, as he lays you down onto his soft mattress. He kisses his way down your neck, slowly pushing your shirt up to reveal your stomach and the few stretch marks that appeared one day in your early adolescent years.

For years it was hard to be intimate with someone in fear that they would disgust your partner. But the one thing you learned while growing up was that most men didn’t give a shit unless they were getting it.

Yet Hoseok, your boyfriend, now.

He cares.

In a good way. The first time he saw you naked he almost came in his jeans. Your curves were all in the right places. You have enough skin to grip onto, and he loves all the marks and imperfections your body has.

He couldn’t understand why you were so beautiful in the soft glow of his bedroom lights? Why he didn’t have the words to describe how his heart was literally beating against his ribcage? Why for the first time in his casual dating experience he feared he wouldn't be able to give you the pleasure you deserved?

So, that first night together, he took his time. Trying to get his thoughts under control. He painted your body with featherlight kisses. Determined to leave his trace imprinted in your body for however long you two would engage with each other.

Everytime you came over. He did just that. He took his time, choreographing a dance with your body. It was a no-brainer that he had fallen for you. Something he knew shouldn’t have happened. He had plans for himself. He had a future mapped out since he was teenage. Though, he had the sneaking suspicion that you wouldn’t stop him from achieving his goals. That you would support him through everything. He should’ve stopped his feelings for you from growing.

He kept them quiet until his portfolio got accepted. Until he saw the brief glances Namjoon gave you when he thought you weren’t looking. Perhaps it was the jealousy that made him confess. Or that his time with you was now limited. Whatever the reason was that led him to his confession, he only hoped that you felt the same.

You giggle, the beautiful melodic sound grounds him as he wraps a calloused hand around your right breast, circling his thumb around the pebble.

You're his girlfriend now.

He, your boyfriend and he will bring down the moon for you tonight if you asked him too.

“What’s so funny?” His curious stare meets your amused one.

You had failed to keep your giggles at bay while he made out with you on his couch. He let a few of his own out when he had had enough of kissing and grinding in his living room, and guided you into his room.

He loved the sound, and he loved that it was only because after months of dancing this tango you were still shy underneath him.

“Nothing, it’s just that Mickey is staring at us.” You whisper gasping when he grinds his lower half against yours. Hoseok playfully rolls his eyes, reaching and turning around the newly added picture of his family dog on his bedside table. No more prying dog or human eyes around to interrupt the two of you.

His attention returns to you. Gaze burning with lust as he leans down, pecking your lips lightly. “Can you stay over?” He says, kneading your breast again. The teasing touches were driving you insane. But this is how you preferred it. Slow and intense, tangling your body with his, until the two of you became one.

“I’ll make an exception if you promise to drive me to my class tomorrow with a free coffee.” You smile, pushing your chest into his hand.

He shook his head, reaching down to your lips. “Hustler.” He mumbles, capturing your mouth in a slow sensual kiss. “You got yourself a deal baby girl.”

Your body shudders at the nickname. He only used it when it was just the two of you. He knew the effect it had on you. “Can I take your shirt off now?” He smirks.

You let out a pleasurable sigh, nodding your head, before verbalizing a soft, “yes.”

He pulls away, sitting back on his heels, peeling his shirt off before helping you with yours. He discards the two of them somewhere behind him. He pulls you towards him again, resting his forehead against yours. A bright smile adorning his perfect face.

It makes your stomach crumble, knowing that from this moment on.

Hoseok would always be the one who got away.

Your big “what if.”

Your biggest treasure. Your safe place. Your blueprint for a future with someone else. The love story that was made to end. But one that burned so bright that would have you telling your future daughter to never be afraid of love.

“Can we go slow today?” You run your hands down his torso, playing with the belt buckle of his expensive belt.

“I’ll go at whatever pace you want me to go, baby girl.” He reassures, his fingers play with the bra strap that had fallen down your shoulder.

You tilt your head, looking at him with soft eyes. And he swears he feels himself melt.

The next few minutes were a mess of soft kisses and clothes being discarded. Each article of clothing, landing with a soft ‘thud’ against his bedroom floor. You’re on cloud nine, his lips kiss down your neck, your collarbone. His hands part your thighs, baring your cunt to him. He sits back, mouth watering at how wet you are. He couldn’t wait for a taste.

He could never wait. And he never did.

He kisses your mound before wrapping his lips around your clit. He savors the sigh that escapes your mouth. He smirks when he immediately feels you grip his hair, pushing him further. Just like he couldn’t resist, you also couldn’t.

He sucked, distracting you from his finger circling around your entrance making you gasp in surprise when you feel him insert one. Slowly thrusting it as he licked you like a man who has been starved for weeks.

“Hobi,” You sigh, pushing his head further. He fingers you faster until he feels you clench around him, and he stops, making you whine.

“Please,” you plead. He chuckles against you, inserting another finger. This time he doesn’t give you time to adjust. You feel him thrust into you with no hesitation. His mouth sucking on your clit, swirling his tongue around it playing with the nub.

You were withering, moaning his name, and anything your mind could conjure up in this moment.

Overwhelmed with blissful pleasure, you grip his bed sheets, bucking your hips into his face. He groans, knowing you were on edge from how tight your grip on his head was now. And he did the one thing he knew would drive you insane. He slowed down, until he came to a complete stop.

“Hoseok,” you groan, slamming your hand onto his comforter. He chuckles, lifting his head. Your body was flushed, your lips swollen, your hair splayed out around you. He loves bringing you to this moment.

“You said you wanted slow.” He grins, taking his fingers out of your pussy. Loving the way it clenched over nothing now. Almost as if it was begging to be played with again.

You roll your eyes, pouting. “Not this slow. I want to come.” You say, sitting up on your elbows.

“Oh baby you will.” He winks, licking his fingers clean. He leans over, pecking your lips quickly. “You will come as many times as you want. But I want the first one to be around my cock tonight.”

You gasp at his words. You knew his mouth was lethal but sometimes it still surprises you. The lust lacing with his soft timbre made you weak in the knees.

“Fuck,” you whisper, grabbing his face and kissing him hard.

The word ‘slow’ is forgotten from either of your vocabularies, while the two of you kiss hungrily. Sucking on tongues, teeth clashing, hands touching and clutching onto anything and everything.

Hoseok lays you down on your side, climbing in behind you. His teeth nips at your bottom lip and he wrapped your leg around his hips. He kisses down your neck, while you help guide his cock to your entrance. He locks his eyes with yours as he slowly pushes himself in. His arms wrap around your torso, and he pushes you closer to his chest.

Both of your heartbeats are in sync. Racing against the clock, basking in pleasure that you never want it to end.

“Move please.” You say, lifting your face to kiss him.

He begins to move his hips, making you gasp into each other's mouths. It’s a sloppy pace from the start but you don't care. You want more, so you met his thrusts halfway. One of his hands palms at your breast. He alternates between swallowing your moans and leaving his mark on anything he can get his lips on.

“B-Baby.” He moans, resting his forehead on yours. “I’m close, are you?” He thrusts, letting out a low moan when he feels you clench around him.

He didn’t give you a minute to answer, before he was lifting your leg higher around his waist, allowing himself to reach the deepest part of you. “Touch yourself baby.”

You moan his name, letting go of his hand, your finger meeting your clit, rubbing it in circles. Trying to keep up with his unrelenting pace. And soon you feel him still behind you, eyes shutting in pleasure as he spills himself inside of you. His orgasm triggers the coil in the pit of your stomach as you feel your release wash over you in a tidal wave, making you push his cock and cum out of you. His fingers frantically come down to meet yours as he helps you ride out your wave. He whispers praises against your skin while you come down.

Hoseok kisses your lips slowly, chuckling before whispering words that you will forever hold near and dear to your heart.

“I love you.” He pushes your hair away from your face. “I love you so much to know that one day I’ll have to let you go.”

You giggle, turning in his arms, nuzzling your head into his neck. “I love you.”

You feel him laugh, twinkling his fingers down your spine, “Let’s get matching tattoos.”

You look up at him, raising a brow before shaking your head. “You just made me squirt, told me you loved me, and now you want to get matching tattoos?”

“What better way to commemorate the best ego boost.” He shrugs.

“You’re insane.” You untangle yourself from his embrace. You stand up, putting on his shirt.

“I didn’t hear a no.” He says smugly, putting his arms underneath his head.

“Because you’re an insane idiot who makes me agree to things like these.” You smile, before walking out of his room.

“Great, I’ll make an appointment.” He shouts after you, “I love you.” He adds after a moment.

You enter his kitchen, and turn on the lights. You can feel your smile take up your entire face. For a moment you realize that for the first time in a long time you felt happy.

So yeah, maybe, things were finally looking up.

“You’re late.”

Namjoon says after taking a slow sip from his coffee. He looks at you from over the rim of his glasses.

You roll your eyes, setting your bag down on the empty chair. “It's raining, and I forgot my umbrella. I had to wait for the rain to stop.”

“You could’ve texted to let me know.” He shrugs, setting his cup down on the coaster and flipping the page of his book.

You sigh, before (gently) throwing your phone onto the table. “It’s dead. And before you ask, no I didn’t bring a charger. No, Jungkook wasn’t in class today so he couldn’t give me a charger, an umbrella, or a ride. Jimin is sick. And Taehyung doesn’t even go to our school. He's probably getting high with his new fling, so I wouldn’t have been able to ask him either.” You say, listing all the solutions he would’ve thought about in seconds.

“Mhm,” he nods, closing his book. “And your boyfriend?”

Annoyed, you let out a whine, crossing your arms in front of you. “I don’t know, let me go downstairs and ask him. I’m sure he can stop managing a business to give me an umbrella.”

Namjoon leans his elbows against the table. “Trouble in paradise?” He tilts his head, clasping his hands on top of his book.

You shake your head, pulling out your chair and slumping down in it. “Hobi and I are fine. It’s not like he’s leaving in two months or anything.” You throw your hands up in exasperation.

It’s month seven into your shining relationship with Hoseok, and you should’ve known that things would start to hit the fan sooner rather than Later. Your boyfriend was in the middle of the most tumultuous change of his life. Things were moving quickly and his time dedicated to you was bumped down his monstrous daily to-do list.

Yet you couldn’t do or say anything because isn’t this what you signed up for?

“Ah, so there is trouble.” Namjoon chuckles before opening his book again, setting his fancy leather bookmark aside. “This is exactly why I don’t do relationships, they just attract problems.” He adds, giving you a pointed look.

You roll your eyes, “Shut up asshole, not all of us can be like you and Rina.”

“Sure you can, it's simple just don't attach any strings to it.” He shrugs, underlining a sentence in his book.

“Two people who have been only exclusively seeing each other for years literally the definition of strings attached. You can keep denying it all you want but she’s your girlfriend. You guys do all the couple-y stuff.” You grumble, leaning back in your chair, looking out of the window. The gloomy weather adds to your shitty mood.

“She’s not, we are not dating, and I don’t need to talk about this with you again. Rina and I are on the same page.” He finishes, taking a long sip from his coffee.

“Well, how would you feel if Rina was spending time with another guy, completely ignoring your presence when you walk into her coffee shop all wet and angry because your professor basically told you your topic for your essay was shit.”

Namjoon smirks, leaning back in his chair. “Sounds like you’re jealous of Yuri.”

“So what if I am?” You bite, “I understand that he’s training her to take over his position, but all he talks about is her and what he needs to teach her when we’re together. And whenever I come in they’re always laughing at something behind the coffee machine. And I know she’s nice and all but I would like his attention too.” You scoff.

Namjoon hums, tapping his index finger against the table. “Do you trust him?”

The question doesn’t catch you off guard, the obvious answer is on the tip of your tongue. But with how things have been going lately. You can’t help but hesitate.

“I don’t know anymore.” You whisper looking down at your hands, turning the ring on your middle finger. “I know I should, and I do…I think I do. It’s just things have been so shit lately and I feel like a burden to him because of everything he has to do.”

Namjoon lightly kicks your foot under the table, making you raise your head to meet his gaze. “I don’t know if I am being of much help, but he loves you. I know that whatever is happening he’s not doing it intentionally. Just talk to him about it.”

If only it were that easy.

“I’d love to but he never has time.”

“Why not talk to him now then.” He says reaching into his bag to take out his cigarettes and lighter.

“He’s busy downstairs with Yu–”

“No, I’m not busy now.”

You jump at the sound of your boyfriend's voice. You turn your head to look at him. A small tray with a mug of probably chamomile tea on top of it. His hair is shorter than the last time you saw him two days ago. He got a haircut and didn’t even tell you about it. That’s how low you have made it on his list. He can’t even send you a stupid picture of his new haircut. He can’t even send you a ‘goodmorning’ or ‘goodnight’ text. He also probably forgot that you were nervous for the meeting with your professor about your essay topic.

All these realizations make you want to roll into a ball and cry. You knew your time with Hoseok was limited. You just didn’t expect for the end to be so torturous.

“That’s what I told her.” Namjoon speaks, narrowing his eyes at you for a second before turning his attention to his best friend. “She’s jealous of Yuri, because you’ve been spending too much time with her.” He shrugs, walking quickly to the stairs before you can bury him ten feet underground.

You hear Hoseok let out a heavy sigh, and take the seat next to you. “Honeycakes,” he starts.

“Nice haircut.” You interrupt, slumping into your chair more. It earns another heavy sigh from the man sitting next to you.

“Is Yuri the reason why you’ve been so upset lately?” He says placing a hand on top of your knee underneath the table.

You let out a dry laugh before shaking your head. “No, it’s not her. It’s how you’ve been acting lately, it’s the time you’ve been spending with her. It's never having time for me anymore. It’s forgetting our date last week. It’s not even telling me that you got a haircut.” You finish, closing your fists to keep yourself from crying.

Hoseok gives your thigh a squeeze before leaning back in his chair. “You know how things have been lately. I’m trying so hard to do everything I need to do. I don’t mean to be so dismissive but I can’t juggle everything at the same time.”

You flick off a piece of lint from your jeans. “It’s nice to know that I’m just something you juggle around.”

“That’s not what I meant. You knew what would happen when I started my application process. You said you understood.”

“I did, or I thought I did Hoseok. I didn’t think I would become so secondary to you.” You sniffle. “I love that you’re chasing your dreams, but this is me trying to support you. I’m trying to understand how you’re feeling. But you stop me. You have shut me out and now I’m just something you remember sometimes.” You close your eyes, feeling the tears fall down your cheeks.

The last thing you wanted was to be crying like this in public.

“I-I want you to tell me when you’re having a hard time like you used to. I want you to feel like you can relax around me when we’re together. But every time we are together, we either argue, you don’t talk, or you talk about work, deadlines, or how you can’t wait to move. How do you think that makes me feel Hoseok?”

Hoseok sighs, and wraps his arm around your shoulders. “I’m sorry.” He kisses your temple. “I wish you would’ve told me earlier before it got to this point.” He whispers, rubbing your back, while you lean your head onto his shoulder.

“But Hobi like you said, this is what I signed up for. This is what I agreed to.” You add bitterly.

“Yes Honeycakes, but you’re still my girlfriend. And I know that I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, but I do care about you and I do love you.” He lifts your head from his shoulder. He gently grabs hold of your face, making you look at him. “Just like how you want me to talk to you when something is bothering me, I also want you to talk to me.”

You close your head sighing, “You’re right, I’m sorry that I keep making things difficult.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t. I’m the one that can’t seem to keep my girlfriend from doubting me. I’m the one who hasn’t told her how much I yearn to be in her presence at every waking moment.” He says, his thumbs wiping away your tears. “I love you, and I think that’s why I’ve been so avoidant lately. I know that our days are numbered and I would rather ignore the fact that I’m moving away soon than cherish the moments I get to spend with my family, my friends and you.”

You nod, holding out your pinky out to him. “I promise to keep trying my best.”

He hooks his pinky with yours bringing your laced fingers up to his lips. “I promise to keep trying my best too.”

“I love you,” You whisper, letting go of his finger and wrapping your arms around his waist.

His low laugh makes his chest vibrate against your head, “I love you.” He adds, rubbing soothing circles over your back. “Now, can you please drink your tea before you get a cold. I texted you earlier asking if you needed an umbrella but you didn’t answer. And now look at you coming in here all pouty and wet.”

You raise your head to look at him, opening your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by the forgotten voice of your friend. “Her phone’s dead.” Namjoon throws his lighter onto the wooden table.

Hoseok tsks shaking his head, reaching over to push the tray of your lukewarm tea closer to you. “I should’ve known. I knew you didn’t charge it last night, just like I knew that you left your umbrella at my place.” He pinches your cheek. “How did your meeting go?”

“He basically said that I need to restart my essay topic over again.”

Hoseok laughs, bopping your nose with his own. “Well did he say those exact words?”

“No but it was basically implied.” You emphasize.

“Fine, I’ll talk to your study partner if my baby isn’t being told that she’s a genius all the time, then what am I paying him for.” He jokes, which earns a glare from said study partner.

“You’re not paying me, idiot.” Namjoon rolls his eyes, grabbing his brown leather messenger back and stuffing his cigarettes into the front pocket.

He’s grateful that he came back to smiles and not tears. The stoicness of his actions makes the two of you laugh hard. Your laugh resonates longer in his mind. It always does. No matter how much he tries to deny it. You always resonate longer in his mind. But he pushes that fleeting thought aside.

Namjoon is happy.

His friends are happy.

Things in his life were finally looking up.

“I have to go, but don’t be late next time and charge your phone.” He says hoisting his bag onto his shoulders.

You nod, saluting in his direction, before bursting out into a fit of giggles as Hoseok tickles your side.

Namjoon doesn’t stay for longer than he needs to. He’s already running late to meet Rina, but he can’t hide the smile taking up his space.

He can’t help but feel proud that things were finally looking up for you too.

a/n: I hope you have enjoyed it. I will try not to be so MIA and upload a little more frequently rather than every 6 months haha. But my life has been pretty busy lately. In the past few months. I have moved to a different part of Seoul and I got a new job. I basically just hang out with my friends when I have free time haha. I also do dance class 3 times a week, and I started personal training last week. But I will try to manage my time better because I do miss writing and this story!

168 notes · View notes

ourcean · 9 days ago

Text

ᜊ hoseok ꒰ bangtan ꒱ lockscreens !

like or reblog if u save and use please / curta ou reblogue se você salvar ou usar, por favor 𖹭

145 notes · View notes

anotherbtsffwriter · 13 days ago

Text

innocent | jimin x reader

→ summary: y/n has always been the quiet, studious type—content with her textbooks, her best friend jimin, and the comfortable routine of high school life. but everything changes after a strange, unsettling dream that leaves her questioning everything she thought she knew about herself—and about jimin. what begins as a harmless friendship soon becomes a tangled web of desire, confusion, and self-discovery.

→ genre: 50% smut, 50% fluff

→ warnings: sexual content, cursing

→ wordcount: 12k

Y/N, a studious senior at Westbridge High School, leaned against her locker, flipping through the pages of her statistics book. Her thick-rimmed glasses slid down her nose as she mumbled to herself, trying to memorize a particularly pesky theorem.

Her unruly hair, a dark brown tangle of unbrushed locks, fell over her eyes, which she brushed aside with an impatient hand. Her skin was the color of sweet caramel, a stark contrast to the dull beige hallway that surrounded her. Despite her academic dedication, Y/N's social life remained as bland as the cafeteria's meatloaf Mondays. Her outfits were simple, often picked out by her mom, and she had yet to master the art of makeup. Her frumpy cardigans and loose pants did nothing to highlight the slight curve of her hips or the swell of her chest that had just begun to emerge.

The hallways cleared out as the final bell rang, signaling the end of another school day. Y/N felt a hand at her shoulder."Hey, Y/N, wait up!" It was Jimin Park, her best friend since kindergarten. He had undergone a glow up that had transformed him from a shy, slightly chubby kid into a lean, handsome young man. His jet-black hair was always impeccably styled, and his piercing dark eyes could make even the toughest jocks squirm under their gaze. But it was his confidence that had really skyrocketed. He'd lost his braces and picked up a smirk that made the girls swoon.

Jimin was the complete opposite of Y/N in almost every way. While she was buried in her books, he had been out exploring the social jungle of high school, navigating through the labyrinth of relationships and parties with a finesse she could only dream of. He had a way with words that could charm a teacher into a passing grade or convince the popular crowd to give him the time of day. But he and Y/N were hardcore best friends despite their stark differences.

"What's up, Jimin?" Y/N said, snapping her book shut and stuffing it into her bag. "You're energetic today."

Jimin's smirk grew wider. "Just had a good day, I guess," he said, shrugging. His eyes darted around the hallway, taking in the aftermath of the school day. "So, you wanna go to Panera?"

Y/N nodded, her eyes lighting up at the mention of the cozy bakery-café. It was their usual spot to grab a bite and talk about their days. "Yeah, sure," she replied, her voice filled with excitement.

They made their way through the emptying hallways, their footsteps echoing off the tiles. The air was thick with the scent of disinfectant and the faint lingering odor of teenage angst. The two friends stepped out into the cool fall evening, the leaves rustling under their feet as they walked. The setting sun painted the sky with shades of orange and pink, casting a warm glow over their faces.

Inside Panera, the familiar scent of freshly baked bread and brewing coffee greeted them. They found a quiet corner table and settled in. Jimin's eyes scanned the menu, while Y/N immediately knew she'd order her usual: a chai latte and a cinnamon crunch bagel.

"So," Jimin began, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms, "How's stats going?"

"It's fine," Y/N said, "How's it going with the latest...what's her name again, slut?"

Jimin rolled his eyes playfully. "Her name is Lisa," he corrected, "and you say that about every one of my girlfriends. Jealous much?"

Y/N pretended to be offended, "How dare you excuse me of such," she said with a smirk, "but honestly, I have no idea what you see in dating a new girl every week. It's pointless."

Jimin chuckled, "Well, someone's a little innocent," he teased, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

Y/N felt a blush creeping up her neck, but she met his gaze defiantly. "Hey, I know a lot about dating."

"Oh, really?" Jimin's eyebrow arched in disbelief. "Like what?"

Y/N stumbled over her words, "Well, I know that...that people kiss when they like each other." She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "And, uh, they hold hands, and...sometimes they go on dates?"

Jimin's eyes widened, and he couldn't help but laugh. "Wow, Y/N," he said, shaking his head, "You're so smart!"

Y/N's cheeks burned even hotter. "Shut up," she mumbled, trying to hide her embarrassment. "I know more okay, I'm just not saying it."

Jimin's laughter subsided, and he leaned in closer. "You're such a prude, Y/N," he said with a gentle tease. "You need to get out more, loosen up. I can talk to one of my friends for you."

"I don't know," she said, fidgeting with the zipper on her bag. "It seems like a waste of time. Hanging out with you is all the socialization I need, mentally and scientifically."

Jimin couldn't help but laugh as their food came, "You're so full of it," he said, passing her the bagel.

Y/N took a bite, the sweet cinnamon and sugar crunching between her teeth, and felt a strange warmth spread through her chest. She'd always felt safe with Jimin. He was like a brother to her, someone who knew all her quirks and didn't judge her for them.

"Come on," Jimin said, sliding his chair closer to hers. He pulled out his phone and opened his Instagram. "Let's read my DMs today."

Y/N's eyes widened. "Again?" she said, feigned horror in her voice. "I don't know if I can handle another round of love-sick poetry and eggplant emojis."

Jimin nudged her playfully, his arm brushing against hers. "You love it," he said, swiping through the messages.

"Oh my god, what does that even mean?" Y/N said, peering at the screen. "Jimin, why is some random Rachel telling you that you can...release inside of her?"

Jimin facepalmed, trying to hide his laughter. "Y/N, that's slang for something intimate," he explained, as if it was normal. "It's a bit...forward, but it's just how people flirt these days."

Y/N's eyes went wide. "What?" she sputtered, a piece of bagel flying from her mouth. "But that doesn't even make any sense."

Jimin sighed, placing his phone face down on the table. "It's not literal," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "It's, uh, it's about sex."

Y/N's eyes grew even wider. "Oh," she murmured, her cheeks flaming. Sex was a topic she had only ever read about in the most clinical of terms, and the thought of someone discussing it so casually made her squirm in her seat.

Jimin noticed her discomfort and decided to change the subject. "So, how's the bagel?" he asked.

Y/N took a deep breath, trying to push the images out of her head. "It's good," she said, taking another bite. The sweetness helped to mask the bitter taste of embarrassment that lingered in her mouth. "You want a bite?"

Without waiting for an answer, Jimin leaned over and took a huge bite from the exact spot where her teeth had been. Neither of them batted an eye. It was a silent declaration of their closeness, a bond that transcended the typical boundaries of friendship. They'd shared everything from toys to secrets, and apparently now, they shared food.

Y/N watched him chew and swallow, a slightly bewildered look on her face. "That was a huge bite!" she complained.

Jimin just shrugged, a playful grin dancing on his lips. "You offered," he said, reaching for the bagel again.

Y/N slapped his hand away. "You're such a pig."

"Says the person who ate more than half of the bagel in under a minute," Jimin shot back, though he couldn't help but smile. Their banter was comfortable and familiar, a dance they had perfected over the years.

The following week, life at Westbridge High trudged along with the same mundane rhythm that it always had. But that all changed for Y/N on a random Thursday night. As she lay in her twin-sized bed, surrounded by the comforting scent of her favorite lavender candle, she slipped into a dream unlike any she had ever experienced.

In her dream, she found herself in a dimly lit room, the soft glow of a desk lamp casting a warm light across the tangled sheets. She was nestled into the crook of someone's arm, and the warmth of a body pressed against hers was surprisingly comforting. When she turned to look, she saw Jimin's face, his features soft and relaxed in sleep. Her heart skipped a beat as she realized she was wearing nothing but a thin tank top and panties.

Panic began to set in as she felt something foreign between her legs. A hand, warm and firm, was cupping her, and she realized with a jolt that it was Jimin's. She tried to sit up, but his grip tightened, pulling her closer. Her body responded in ways she didn't understand, a warmth spreading through her core that made her feel both terrified and excited.

Y/N's eyes flew open, and she found herself alone in her own bed, the sheets tangled around her body. Her heart raced as she looked down to find her panties soaked with arousal. She had never felt this way before, and was completely confused. Why the fuck was Jimin in her dream?

Her mind raced as she slipped out of bed, avoiding any contact with the sensitive flesh between her legs. She knew she had to wash away the feelings from the dream that clung to her skin like a sticky residue. Y/N padded quietly into the bathroom, the cold tile sending a shiver up her spine. She turned on the shower, letting the water warm up as she stared at her reflection in the steamy mirror. Her cheeks were still flushed from the dream, and she looked...different.

The showerhead spat out water, the droplets hitting the tiles with a rhythmic patter. Y/N stepped into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over her body. She tried to focus on the sensation of the water, the heat washing away the chill from her dream. But as she reached for the soap, her hand accidentally brushed against her swollen clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through her. She gasped and quickly jerked her hand away, her eyes wide with shock. What the fuck was that?

Her mind raced with thoughts of Jimin's hand on her in the dream, the way he had touched her with such confidence and familiarity. It had felt so...right. But it couldn't be right, could it? They were just friends. Best friends, even. Y/N had never thought of Jimin in that way before. She had always been too busy with school to think about boys or sex. And now, here she was, her body betraying her with these new, confusing sensations.

The next day, Y/N met Jimin in the crowded cafeteria, her heart pounding in her chest as she approached their usual table. She tried to play it cool, but her cheeks were still flushed from the thoughts that had plagued her all morning.

"Hey," Jimin said, his eyes flicking up from his phone. He was already digging into his turkey sub, mayo threatening to ooze out the sides. "How was your night?"

Y/N took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Fine," she said, setting her tray down with a clatter. Her plain salad looked unappetizing compared to Jimin's food. "How was yours?"

Jimin shrugged, his eyes never leaving his screen. "The usual," he said, his thumbs flying as he texted. "Did you finish that calculus assignment you were talking about yesterday?"

Y/N nodded, her voice slightly shaky. "Yeah," she said, trying to keep her cool. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

Jimin looked up from his phone, his dark eyes meeting hers. "What's up?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her heart racing. "Do people who like each other, you know, romantically...sleep together?"

Jimin swallowed a mouthful of his sandwich and nodded, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah," he said casually, his gaze never leaving hers. "It's normal. You should know this, you're too innocent."

Y/N felt her face heat up. "I knew that," she lied, her voice a little too defensive. "I just...wanted to confirm."

Jimin studied her for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Is there something you want to tell me, Y/N?"

Y/N's heart skipped a beat, and she quickly looked away, pretending to be absorbed in the mundane task of unraveling her plastic silverware. "No," she said, her voice a little too high. "It's just...for a project. I'm writing a paper on modern relationships for psychology class."

Jimin studied her for a moment, his eyes searching hers, but then he shrugged and took another bite of his sandwich. "Well, if you need any help with that, I'm your guy," he said with a smirk.

Y/N's stomach did a flip. The way he looked at her made her feel like he saw right through her lie, but she pushed the thought aside. "Thanks," she murmured, focusing on her salad.

But as she picked at her limp greens, her thoughts strayed back to the dream. She couldn't shake the feeling of his hand on her body, the way it had felt so natural and...right. Before she knew it, she had set her fork down and was eyeing Jimin's sandwich with a mix of curiosity and craving.

"You don't like your salad?" Jimin asked, noticing her lack of appetite.

Y/N shrugged nonchalantly. "It's fine," she said, "but can I have some of your sandwich?"

Jimin looked at her with a raised eyebrow, a smear of mayo on his cheek that she had the sudden urge to wipe away. "Ok."

He tore off a piece of his sandwich and held it out to her. Y/N leaned over, her mouth opening slightly as she took the offered morsel. His hand was warm, and the bread was surprisingly soft. She chewed slowly, her eyes staring off into space as she tasted the blend of turkey and mayo.

Jimin watched her, a smirk playing on his lips as he took a sip of his drink. "Taste good?"

Y/N nodded, the taste of the sandwich a revelation on her tongue. She had never tasted anything so delicious, so...sensual. OMG SHUT UP WEIRD ASS BRAIN, she mentally slapped herself.

"It's good," she murmured, her voice muffled by the food. "I'm gonna get a sandwich, too. This salad sucks."

Jimin chuckled, handing over the rest of his sandwich. "You can take mine," he said, his voice low and teasing. "I'll get a new one."

After school, Y/N's legs practically carried her to the nearest bathroom, her mind reeling from the same confusing sensation that had visited her the night before. She locked herself in the stall, her heart racing as she reached under her skirt. Sure enough, she felt the same wetness between her legs, confirming her fears. She was so lost in thought that she barely noticed the sound of the cafeteria doors slamming shut or the fading chatter of her classmates.

Her fingers touched the slick fabric of her panties, and she felt a mix of embarrassment and fascination. She had read about arousal in her biology textbook, but experiencing it firsthand was something entirely different. It was confusing and overwhelming, and she couldn't shake the image of Jimin from her mind. Why him? They had been friends for so long, and she had never felt this way before. It had to be the dream, didn't it?

Y/N leaned against the cool metal of the stall, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to make sense of her body's traitorous response. Her breathing grew heavy, and she felt a strange tension building in her stomach. Stop it, she told herself. She hastily wiped her hand on a piece of toilet paper and flushed the evidence away. When she stepped out, her pent up desire only increased.

For the rest of the month, Y/N found herself glancing at Jimin more often than usual. The way his shirt hugged his shoulders, the way he tucked his hair behind his ear, every little gesture seemed to hold a new allure. She tried to ignore it, burying her nose in her books, but every time she heard his laugh or felt his presence, she couldn't help but think about their shared moment in the dream. It was as if a secret part of her had been unlocked, and she didn't have the key to shut it away again.

One evening, as they were leaving the library, Jimin playfully shoved her into a deserted hallway. "You're so jumpy lately," he said, his eyes searching hers.

Y/N's heart hammered in her chest, her breath catching as she stumbled against the lockers. "I'm just tired," she said.

Jimin's gaze lingered on her, his smirk fading into something more contemplative. "You okay, Y/N?" he asked, his voice softer than usual.

Y/N nodded, trying to compose herself. "Yeah," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jimin leaned closer, his eyes searching hers. "You sure?" he asked, his voice filled with genuine concern. "I didn't wanna say anything earlier, but you've been acting weird for over a month now."

Y/N felt her throat tighten. She hadn't realized her feelings had been so transparent. "I'm fine," she said, her voice normal now. "Just a lot on my mind."

Jimin nodded, his eyes never leaving hers. "Well, if you ever need to talk," he said, "you know I'm here. I have and will always be here."

Y/N felt a strange flutter in her stomach. Did Jimin know? Did he feel the same way? She pushed the thought aside and forced a laugh. "Thanks," she said, "but it's just school stuff. You know how it is."

Jimin nodded, but his gaze remained intense. "Okay," he said, his voice filled with doubt. "But if it's something more..."

Y/N's thoughts raced. What if he did know? What if he had felt the same way in the dream? Her mind was a whirlwind of what-ifs and butterflies, and she needed to get out of there before she did something stupid. "It's nothing," she said, taking a step back. "I should get going. It's late."

Jimin studied her for a moment longer before nodding. "Alright," he said, his voice still gentle. "But if you need anything, just text."

Y/N nodded again, her cheeks still burning. She turned and practically sprinted out, her heart racing. As she stepped out into the cool night air, she took deep, gulping breaths, trying to calm herself down. What was happening to her? She had never felt this way about Jimin before. He was just her best friend, her confidant, her...She didn't want her stupid sexual horniness to be the reason for the end of their perfect friendship. It was the only thing perfect in her life.

For the next few weeks, Y/N researched ways to remove sexual thoughts from her mind, diving into psychology books and articles late into the night. She tried meditation, visualization, and even considered talking to the school counselor, but fear of embarrassment kept her tongue-tied. The more she tried to ignore her feelings, the stronger they grew. She found herself daydreaming about Jimin in class, imagining his hands on her, his lips against hers. It was all she could think about. It was so annoying.

One afternoon, they were in Jimin's room, studying for their upcoming exams. The air was thick with the scent of his cologne and the faint hint of sweat from their last-minute cramming session. Y/N's heart raced as she pretended to focus on her textbook. She could feel the heat of his body beside her, and every time their elbows brushed against each other, she felt an electric jolt.

"Hey, you okay?" Jimin asked, looking up from his notes.

Y/N's eyes snapped to meet his, her cheeks aflame. "What?" she squeaked.

Jimin frowned slightly. "You just zoned out there for a second," he said, concern etched into his handsome features. "You're not getting sick, are you?"

Y/N took a deep breath and hoped the flush in her cheeks would be mistaken for exertion. "No, I'm fine," she lied, trying to keep her voice steady.

But Jimin wasn't fooled. He set his pencil down, his eyes searching hers. "You don't look fine," he said, leaning over to place a hand on her forehead. "Maybe you're coming down with something."

The warmth of his hand was like a brand on her skin, setting off a chain reaction of sensations that made her body ache. She couldn't take it anymore. "I'm okay," she whispered, pushing herself off the bed. "I need to go to the bathroom."

Y/N practically sprinted down the hallway, her heart racing. She locked herself in the bathroom, her breaths coming in short gasps. She leaned against the cool porcelain sink, staring at her flustered reflection in the mirror. Her eyes were wild, her cheeks a fiery red.

With trembling hands, she pulled down her panties and sat on the edge of the tub. She had never done this before, but the need was overwhelming. She spread her legs slightly and tentatively touched herself, her fingertips brushing over her clit. It was like a live wire, sending bolts of pleasure through her body. She couldn't believe she had never tried this before. She began to stroke herself gently, her eyes fluttering shut as she gave in to the sensation.

Her breath grew ragged, and she leaned back against the cold porcelain, letting her head fall back. She didn't know what she was doing, but it felt so good. Her hips began to rock slightly, the pleasure building with each stroke. Without thinking, she moaned Jimin's name, the sound echoing in the small room.

And that's when she felt it-a sudden pressure against her back, a hand replacing hers between her legs. She froze, her eyes flying open to see Jimin standing right behind her. His hand, strong and sure, took over her trembling fingers, stroking her with a confidence that sent waves of shock and pleasure through her.

Y/N gasped, her body stiffening in surprise. "Jimin," she whimpered, but his name came out as more of a plea than a protest. "I'm sorry."

Jimin's eyes searched hers in the mirror, his expression unreadable. "Don't be sorry," he said, his voice a low rumble. "I've been watching you for months, Y/N. I knew something was up."

Y/N's heart hammered in her chest, her mind racing. "W-what do you mean?" she stuttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Jimin leaned in closer, his breath hot against her ear. "You've been so...distracted," he murmured, his hand still moving rhythmically between her legs. "I know you better than anyone. And I know that when you get like this, it means something's bothering you."

Y/N felt a mix of emotions-fear, excitement, and confusion-swirl within her. She had never been so exposed, so vulnerable, in front of anyone, even Jimin. But his touch was like a balm, soothing the ache she had been carrying around for weeks. She didn't know if she should stop him or if she even wanted to.

"Jimin," she whispered, her voice trembling. "What are you doing? What's happening to me? I'm so confused."

He leaned in closer, his hand still working between her legs. "It's okay, don't panic," he said, his voice a low murmur. "I'm going to help you."

Y/N's eyes remained fixed on their reflection in the mirror as Jimin's long, deft fingers continued their exploration. His touch grew bolder, slipping a digit inside her, the feeling so foreign yet surprisingly welcome. She bit her lip to stifle a moan as his hand moved in a slow, rhythmic pattern that mirrored the pulse of the blood in her veins.

"You're feeling this because you're growing, Y/N," he said, his voice calm and soothing, as if explaining a complex math problem. "Your body is changing, and so are your desires."

Y/N couldn't believe what was happening. She had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. But at the same time, she had never felt so alive. Jimin's fingers slid in and out of her, the sensation of his knuckles brushing against her clit with every stroke making her tremble. His touch was gentle, yet firm, as if he knew exactly what she needed without her having to say a word.

"Does it feel good?" he asked, his voice a soft rumble in the quiet bathroom.

Y/N's eyes remained closed, her chest heaving with every breath. "Y-yes," she admitted, her voice shaking with each new wave of pleasure.

"Good," Jimin murmured, his eyes never leaving her face in the mirror. "You're doing great. Just let go, Y/N. I'm right here."

Y/N nodded, her teeth digging into her bottom lip. She felt the tension in her body slowly dissipate as she allowed herself to succumb to the sensations he was creating. His touch grew more insistent, his thumb circling her clit with precision. She couldn't believe she was letting him do this, but she was too lost in the moment to care.

"Jimin," she gasped as the warmth grew, her voice barely a whisper. "I think...I think I'm going to...Oh god!"

"It's okay," he murmured reassuringly, his eyes never leaving hers in the mirror. "That's it, Y/N. Just let it happen."

Y/N's body tensed as the warmth grew more intense, and she couldn't hold back a whine of panic. "Jimin," she choked out.

"Shh, it's okay," he soothed, his voice calm and steady. "Just keep breathing."

Y/N's eyes remained squeezed shut as the sensation grew stronger. She was on the precipice of something she didn't fully understand, and she was both terrified and exhilarated. She could feel her body tensing up, her muscles coiling like a spring ready to snap.

"Jimin," she gasped, her voice filled with a mix of fear and pleasure. "It's too much."

"That's good, Y/N," he murmured, his eyes never leaving her face in the mirror. "It means you're close."

Y/N's eyes squeezed shut tighter as the warmth grew into a crescendo. "I don't know if I can handle it," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"You can," Jimin assured her, his voice a soft rumble in her ear. "Just breathe with me, okay?"

Y/N nodded, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to follow his instructions. His hand never stopped moving, the pressure building until she couldn't take it anymore. "Oh god, Jimin," she moaned, her body writhing in his grasp.

"You're so close," Jimin whispered, his voice low and soothing. "Just let it happen."

With a loud gasp, Y/N came, her body convulsing in pleasure. It was a sensation she had never experienced before, and it was both terrifying and exhilarating. Jimin watched her in the mirror, his eyes filled with a mix of concern and fascination as he felt her pussy clench around his fingers.

"You're okay," he murmured, his hand slowing as the aftershocks of her orgasm rippled through her. "Just breathe."

Y/N nodded, her chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath. "W-what was that?" she managed to ask, her voice trembling.

Jimin's hand remained between her legs, his thumb gently stroking her sensitive flesh. "That, Y/N," he said with a knowing smile, "was your first orgasm."

Y/N's cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she couldn't deny the intense pleasure that had just washed over her. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.

Jimin turned her around to face him, "For what?"

Y/N's eyes searched his, filled with confusion and a hint of fear. "For...for that," she said, gesturing to the space between them, still trembling from her climax. "What we just did...I...I was feeling, for lack of a better word, sexually deprived, for the past few months, and I needed that. I was slowly going insane. I guess my body was tired of being a virgin." She chuckled a bit to diffuse the tension, if there was any. Then, to hide her embarrassment, she hugged him, burying her face in his shoulder.

Jimin held her close, his arms strong and reassuring around her. "It's okay, Y/N," he murmured. "It's totally normal to explore your body and your feelings. And if you need help with that, I'm happy to be here for you. You didn't have to hide this from me."

Y/N pulled back slightly, looking up at him with a mix of embarrassment and relief. "I just didn't know what was happening," she said, her voice still a bit shaky. "I thought I was going crazy."

Jimin chuckled and brushed a stray hair out of her face. "You're not crazy, just growing up." He leaned in, his eyes searching hers. "If you ever need anything, you can always come to me."

Y/N felt a warmth spread through her at his words, but she was also scared of what that might mean for their friendship. "So like a friends with benefits kinda deal?"

Jimin couldn't help but laugh at this, "I'm surprised you even know what that is."

Y/N's cheeks flushed even deeper, "I've heard people talk about it in school."

Jimin's smile grew more gentle. "We're not exactly friends with benefits. It's more like, I help you whenever you need it. You should be paying me really."

Y/N's eyes widened in horror. "No, no way!" she exclaimed, pushing him away slightly. "You can't charge me for this!"

Jimin chuckled, his grip on her not loosening. "I'm just kidding, Y/N," he said, his voice low and warm. "I'd never charge you for anything."

Y/N felt a wave of relief wash over her. She'd get over her romantic feelings for him, as long as their friendship remained intact, she was okay.

"Okay, let's do it," she said, her voice stable now. "But you can't tell anyone, okay? There's gonna think I'm a lame, inexperienced virgin."

Jimin chuckled, "I'm not going to tell anyone. Pinky promise." He held up his pinky, smiling reassuringly.

Y/N rolled her eyes but couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. She linked her pinky with his, feeling a warmth spread through her chest. "Okay, pinky promise," she agreed.

The next time Y/N was in need of 'Jimin's services' was Wednesday of the following week. After school, Jimin noticed Y/N was walking awkwardly to his car.

"Is everything okay?" Jimin asked, his voice filled with genuine concern.

Y/N looked up at him, her cheeks a deep shade of red. "I'm...wet."

Jimin raised an eyebrow, understanding dawning in his eyes. "Ah," he said, his voice gentle. "Let's go to my place then."

Once they were safely in his room with the door locked, Y/N couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and nerves. She sat on the bed, her hands fidgeting in her lap. "Are you gonna do the same thing as last time?" she asked, her voice genuinely curious.

Jimin sat beside her, chuckling, "I was actually thinking of something else."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. "What is it?" she asked, her eyes searching his for an answer.

Jimin's eyes sparkled with mischief. "Something different," he said, his voice a seductive whisper. "Lay back."

Y/N did as she was told, her heart racing as she felt him push her back onto the bed. His hands slid down her hips, deftly unbuttoning her pants before tugging them off along with her panties. She couldn't believe this was happening again, but the anticipation was too intense to deny.

"Jimin," she gasped as his mouth moved to her navel, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin. "What are you doing? That tickles!"

He looked up at her with a grin, his eyes filled with mischief. "You'll like this, I promise," he said before lowering his head again.

Y/N felt his warm breath on her skin as he trailed kisses down her stomach, her body shivering with anticipation. He paused for a moment at the top of her mound, his nose nuzzling her clit before his tongue darted out to taste her. She moaned, her hands gripping the bedsheets.

"Oh god, Jimin," she gasped as his mouth fully latched onto her.

"Mm," he murmured against her, his tongue swirling around her clit with practiced ease. "You taste so sweet."

Y/N couldn't believe this was happening. Jimin's mouth was between her legs, his tongue expertly navigating her folds as she lay there, writhing with pleasure. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, but the feeling was quickly replaced with a delicious heat that spread from her core to the rest of her body. "Oh, fuck," she moaned, her hands fisting in the bed sheets.

"You like that?" Jimin's voice was muffled against her skin, but the smirk in his tone was unmistakable.

Y/N's body arched off the bed as his tongue swiped over her clit, the sensation making her eyes roll back. "Y-yes," she managed to choke out, her voice strained with pleasure.

Jimin's eyes flickered up to meet hers, a smug grin on his face. "I knew you'd like it," he murmured before diving back in.

Y/N's hips bucked, her body no longer her own as Jimin's tongue danced over her sensitive bud. "Oh my god," she moaned, her voice hoarse. "I never knew it felt like this."

Jimin's eyes twinkled with mirth as he watched her reaction in the mirror. "You're so responsive," he murmured, his mouth still full of her.

Y/N's cheeks flamed even more, but she couldn't argue with the pleasure coursing through her. "I've never...oh...fuck," she panted, her hips bucking against his mouth.

"Shh," Jimin murmured, placing a hand on her hip to hold her in place. "Just lie back and let me taste you."

Y/N's body responded to his touch, her legs falling open wider as his tongue delved deeper into her wetness. She couldn't believe the sounds coming from her own mouth, the whimpers and gasps that filled the room. Her body was a symphony of sensations, each stroke of his tongue a crescendo building towards something unimaginable.

"Oh Jimin, oh my god," she moaned, her voice growing more desperate. His mouth was insistent, his tongue relentless as it flicked against her clit. She felt her body tense, her muscles tightening as she approached the precipice of climax.

"Mm, you're so close," Jimin murmured. He slid a finger inside her, his mouth still working its magic on her sensitive nub. The dual sensation was too much, and with a sharp gasp, Y/N's body convulsed as she came.

Her eyes rolled back, and she bit her lip to keep from screaming his name as she felt the warmth of his mouth on her, drinking her in. It was a strange sensation, one she hadn't anticipated, but it only added to the intensity of her orgasm. Her body trembled as she rode the wave, the pleasure crashing over her like a tsunami.

"Oh, fuck, Jimin," she moaned, her hips bucking as she reached her peak. She felt his tongue delve deeper, lapping up her juices with a hunger that surprised her. As she came down from her climax, she watched, her cheeks burning, as Jimin pulled back, his mouth glistening.

Jimin plopped next to Y/N in his bed, his cheek propped up by his hand as he studied her face with a smug smile. Y/N, on the other hand, was a flustered mess, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath.

"Why did you do that?" she finally managed to ask, her voice still shaky from the intensity of the orgasm.

"Do what?" Jimin asked.

Y/N felt her face burn even hotter. "You...you drank it," she whispered, her eyes unable to meet his. "It probably tastes bad."

Jimin leaned in closer, his smile growing more mischievous. "Why don't you tell me?" he suggested, his eyes gleaming with challenge. He held his wet finger up to her lips, the taste of her own arousal still lingering on his skin.

Y/N's eyes widened with shock, but there was a flicker of curiosity in them as well. She didn't know what to say, but she didn't pull away as he brought his finger closer. She could see her own juices glistening on him, and she felt a strange sense of power in knowing that she was the one who had made him taste that way.

"Open up," Jimin urged, his voice a gentle command. Y/N's heart was racing, but she did as she was told, parting her lips slightly. He traced his finger along the seam of her mouth, leaving a trail of wetness that she couldn't help but follow with her tongue."Mmm," she murmured, the taste of herself foreign and yet oddly intimate. "It's not bad," she admitted, a hint of surprise in her voice.

Jimin's eyes danced with mirth. "Told you," he said, his voice low and teasing. "It's fucking amazing."

Y/N's cheeks were on fire, but she couldn't deny the curiosity that had her leaning in closer. "You're just saying that because you have to. You're my best friend," she said, kicking him with her leg.

Jimin chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest. "I'm not just saying it."

Y/N looked at him skeptically before getting up and putting her panties and pants back on. She had to remind herself that Jimin was only teaching her, not her actual lover. "Okay, okay," she said, trying to regain composure. "I'm gonna head to my place. I'll see you later."

That night, Jimin found himself tossing and turning in bed, his thoughts consumed by Y/N's sweet taste and the sounds of her pleasure still echoing in his ears. He had never expected his friendship with her to take such an intimate turn, but the way she had responded to him, the way she had looked at him in the mirror, had stirred something within him that he couldn't ignore.

As he drifted off to sleep, an image of her flitted into his mind-her soft, plump lips parted in a gasp, her eyes wide and filled with wonder as she came for the first time with his mouth on her. He felt his cock stir, and before he knew it, he was lost in a sea of sensation.

The dream began as most of his sex dreams did: with the girl of the moment, her body writhing under his. But as he sank into the warmth, the face above him shifted, morphing into Y/N's, her dark eyes meeting his with a vulnerability that was so raw it took his breath away. The setting changed from a faceless hotel room to the library where they studied together, the books forgotten as their bodies entangled on the cold, hard floor.

Her skin was soft, her touch tentative, and her kisses were gentle-so different from the rough, passionate encounters he was used to. The way she whispered his name, the way she looked at him with a mix of fear and desire, it all felt so...real. In the dream, he could feel the weight of her emotions, her innocence, and it was intoxicating. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before, and it was terrifying.

Jimin woke up in the middle of the night, his heart racing, his sheets a tangled mess around his legs. His cock was rock hard, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat. He looked around his dark room, trying to shake off the images of Y/N that still lingered in his mind. It was just a dream, he told himself, but the ache in his chest didn't agree. He had had wet dreams before-about his past flings, about the girls he had dated-but none had ever left him feeling like this.

In the dream, Y/N's eyes had been so wide and full of wonder, her body responding to his touch with an innocence that was almost painful to watch. It was as if she was discovering a new world, and he was her guide. He had felt a strange sense of protectiveness, a need to be gentle with her, to show her all the wonders that sex could bring without scaring her away.

The intimacy of the dream was what had really thrown him off. In his past relationships, sex had been more about the act itself, the chase and the conquest. But with Y/N, it was about her. It was about her pleasure, her reactions, the way her body moved with his. It was about the connection between them, the unspoken bond that had grown over the years. And as he watched her come in his dream, her face contorted with pleasure, something shifted within him. Did he...like her? Like, really like her? Not just as a friend?

Jimin sat up in bed, his heart racing. He had to get out of there before he started thinking about it too much. He threw on some sweats and a t-shirt, and grabbed his phone. Maybe scrolling through memes would help. He opened his door and almost collided with Y/N, who was standing in the hallway, looking just as flustered as he felt.

"H-hey," he said, his eyes wide with surprise. "What are you doing here? It's midnight."

Y/N's cheeks turned a deeper shade of red. "I had a...a question," she stuttered, holding up her phone. "I couldn't sleep and I didn't know who else to ask."

Jimin leaned against the doorframe, his heart thumping in his chest. He couldn't believe she was here. "What's up?" he asked casually, trying to hide his nerves.

Y/N fidgeted, her eyes darting to the floor. "You already know this but...I've never been kissed before. And I was wondering if...you're okay with it...if you could maybe...kiss me?"

Jimin's eyes widened in surprise, his mind racing. He had never seen Y/N like this before, so vulnerable and exposed. It was jarring, and for a moment, he didn't know how to respond. "Kiss you?" he echoed, his voice sounding unnaturally high.

Y/N's cheeks grew even redder, and she nodded, her eyes pleading. "Yeah, I know it's weird, but I had this...this dream about you, and it was so intense, and I just want to know what a kiss feels like. Just one. It's not a big deal, really. You don't have to if you don't want to," she rambled, her voice speeding up as she tried to fill the awkward silence. "I just...I need to know what it's like, you know? Oh my god, did I just tell you about the dream? That's so embarrassing. I'm sorry, I'm just really confused right now. I'll just go."

Before she could turn and leave, Jimin reached out and grabbed her wrist. "Wait," he said, his voice low and gruff. He pulled her towards him, and she stumbled slightly, her eyes widening as she looked up at him.

"What are you-" she began, but her words were cut off as Jimin's mouth crashed down onto hers. It was a kiss that took her by surprise, a kiss filled with passion and need that she had never felt before. His lips were soft and insistent, his hands sliding around her waist to hold her against him as he deepened the kiss.

Y/N's mind went blank with shock and pleasure as she felt his tongue slide against hers. It was nothing like she had imagined, nothing like the chaste pecks she had seen in movies or read about in books. This was raw and real, and it made her heart race in a way that was both thrilling and terrifying.

Her arms wound around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as she kissed him back, her inexperience shining through in the way she clung to him. But Jimin didn't seem to mind. He kissed her like he had been waiting for this moment for a long time, his hands roaming her body as if he was trying to memorize every inch of her.

Y/N felt herself melt into him, her body responding to his touch in a way she never thought possible. She had never felt this kind of desire, this kind of need before. It was overwhelming and exhilarating all at once.

As they broke for air, Jimin looked down at her, his eyes dark with lust. "Is that what you wanted?" he asked, his voice thick with want.

Y/N nodded, her breathing ragged. "Yes," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "Thank you."

Jimin's thumb traced her jaw, his gaze intense. "You liked it?"

Y/N nodded again, her eyes still glued to the floor. "Mmhmm," she murmured shyly.

"Look at me," Jimin's voice was firm, his hand sliding to the back of her neck and tilting her face up. She reluctantly opened her eyes, her cheeks still stained with a deep blush.

The intensity in his gaze took her aback. His hand on her ass was possessive, but his touch on her neck was gentle, almost tender. "I want to see your face when you tell me you liked it," he said, his eyes searching hers.

Y/N swallowed hard, her eyes fluttering open. The sight of him so close, so intense, made her heart race even more. "I liked it," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Jimin's grip on her neck tightened, his eyes searching hers for any hint of doubt. "Good girl," he said, his voice gruff.

Y/N felt a thrill run down her spine at his praise. He leaned down again, his hand sliding down to cup her ass. This time, she didn't flinch. Instead, she arched into him, her body craving more of his touch. Jimin's eyes darkened at her response, and he took it as an invitation. He pulled her closer, pressing her against the length of his body.

With a swift movement, he deepened the kiss, his tongue slipping into her mouth. Y/N gasped, and he took full advantage, pushing his tongue further in to explore her. The sensation was overwhelming, a dance of passion that she had only dreamt of. She felt like she was drowning in the heat of his embrace, but she didn't want it to end.

Her hands moved from his shoulders to his back, her nails digging into his skin as she tried to get closer. She had never felt this way before, never experienced this kind of raw desire. It was as if her entire body was on fire, and only Jimin could extinguish the flames.

As the kiss grew more intense, Jimin's hands began to wander, cupping her breasts over her shirt. Y/N gasped into his mouth, the sensation making her toes curl. He broke the kiss, his eyes searching hers for any sign of hesitation. She could see the question in his eyes: was this okay? But she was too far gone to care. She nodded, her breathing heavy and shallow.

Jimin's hands moved with more purpose, his thumbs rubbing circles around her hardened nipples. Y/N felt her knees buckle, but he held her up, his grip firm and reassuring. He pushed her back onto the wall, his body pressing into hers, the heat between them almost unbearable. He kissed her neck, his teeth grazing her skin as his hands moved to the hem of her shirt.

Y/N's mind was racing with the sensations, the feeling of his body against hers, the taste of him on her lips. She had never been this close to anyone before, never felt this desired. She didn't know how to process it all, but she didn't want it to stop. Her own hands moved to his hips, pulling him closer as she felt his erection press against her.

Jimin's eyes searched hers, looking for consent, and she gave it willingly, her nod almost imperceptible. He took the cue, his hands moving up to unbutton her shirt, his mouth never leaving her neck. She shivered as the cool air hit her bare skin, his breath hot against her.

With a swift tug, her shirt was off, and he took a moment to drink in the sight of her. Her bra was simple, but the way it hugged her curves made his cock throb even more. "You're beautiful," he murmured against her ear, his voice thick with lust and love.

Y/N blushed, her hands moving to cover herself instinctively, but Jimin's hands stopped her, holding them at her sides. "Don't," he said firmly. "Let me see you."

He reached behind her and unclasped her bra, letting it fall to the floor. His eyes devoured her, taking in every inch of her exposed flesh. "You're so fucking perfect," he murmured, his voice hoarse with need.

Y/N felt a thrill of excitement and fear as she stood before him, naked from the waist up. But Jimin's eyes were filled with nothing but desire and admiration, and it was all she needed to push aside her insecurities. "Thank you," she whispered, her voice trembling.

Jimin leaned in, capturing her mouth in another fiery kiss as his hands roamed her bare skin. His touch was like electricity, sending shockwaves through her body and making her nipples peak even further. She moaned into his mouth, her body begging for more.

With a gentle bite to her lower lip, Jimin broke the kiss and moved his mouth down to her chest. His tongue traced the edge of her areola before flicking against her nipple. Y/N gasped, her body jolting at the sensation. She had never felt anything so intense, so personal. It was as if he was worshiping her, and she was powerless to resist.

He took her nipple into his mouth, suckling gently before increasing the pressure. Y/N's back arched, her nails digging into his back as she let out a whimper. "Mm, you like that, baby girl?" he murmured, his breath hot against her skin.

Y/N nodded, her eyes screwed shut in pleasure. "Yes," she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper. "More."

Jimin chuckled, the sound vibrating against her skin. He took her other nipple into his mouth, his teeth grazing it lightly before his tongue swirled around it. She felt her legs give out, but his arms were there to catch her, holding her up against the wall as he continued to kiss and bite her sensitive flesh.

With his free hand, Jimin reached down and began to unbuckle his pants. Y/N's eyes widened as he pushed them down along with his boxers, his cock springing free. It was the first time she had seen one in person, and she couldn't help but stare. It was larger and more intimidating than she had ever imagined, the tip glistening with precum.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her voice trembling with a mix of excitement and fear.

Jimin stepped out of his pants and underwear, his erection standing tall and proud before her.

"I want you to touch me, Y/N," he said, his voice low and velvety. "I need to feel your hands on me."

Y/N's eyes remained glued to his cock, a mix of curiosity and trepidation swirling within her. She had never done this before, never even seen one up close. It was both fascinating and intimidating. "How?" she asked, her voice small.

Jimin took her hand and brought it to his erection, wrapping her trembling fingers around it. "Like this," he said, guiding her hand to stroke him gently. His eyes never left hers, watching as she tentatively began to move her hand up and down.

Y/N's breath hitched as she felt the warmth and hardness of him in her hand. It was a strange and powerful feeling, knowing she had this kind of effect on him. She tightened her grip slightly, feeling him twitch in response. He groaned into her neck, his teeth grazing her skin. "That's it, baby," he murmured.

Encouraged by his reaction, she began to move her hand more confidently, her curiosity growing. She felt his hand guide her, showing her the pace and pressure he liked. It was strange, feeling him this way, but it was also incredibly thrilling.

"Good girl," he whispered, his breath hot against her neck, sending shivers down her spine. "Just like that."

Y/N's hand grew more confident, her curiosity turning into a need to please him. She watched his face for any signs of what he liked, his eyes fluttering closed as he let out a soft moan. His hand slid down to her waist, pulling her closer until she could feel the heat of his cock against her stomach.

Her thumb swiped over the wet tip, spreading the precum, and Jimin's hips jerked forward. "Fuck," he murmured, his hand tightening on her hip. "That's it."

Y/N felt a surge of power knowing she could affect him like this, her thumb continuing to glide over his cock as she watched his face contort with pleasure. She could feel the tension in his body, the way his muscles tensed and released as she explored him.

Without a second thought, she leaned down, her eyes still locked with his, and took him into her mouth. The feeling was strange, but the taste was not unpleasant, a mix of salt and musk. She felt him jerk in surprise, his eyes going wide before they rolled back in his head.

She moved her head tentatively, taking in his girth as much as she could. Jimin's hand found her hair, his fingers threading through it as he guided her, showing her the rhythm that he liked."Fuck, Y/N," he breathed out, his voice strained. "You're so fucking good at this."

Y/N didn't respond, instead focusing on the task at hand. She felt the tip of his cock hit the back of her throat, and she gagged slightly. Jimin noticed and pulled back immediately, his hand coming to her cheek. "It's okay," he murmured, his eyes filled with concern. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

But Y/N's eyes were determined. She leaned back in, her mouth open and eager, taking him deeper than before. The sensation was strange, but she liked it. Liked the way he felt, liked the way he tasted. Liked the way his hands tightened in her hair and the low, guttural sounds he made when she hit just the right spot.

Jimin groaned, his voice strained. "Keep going, just like that, baby."

Y/N took his advice, her cheeks hollowing as she bobbed her head up and down his length. Her eyes watered, but she didn't stop, driven by a newfound desire to bring him to the edge.

"Mm, yes," Jimin groaned, his voice a mix of pleasure and disbelief. "Fuck."

Y/N felt his cock twitch in her mouth, his grip on her hair tightening. She didn't know what she was doing, but the sounds he was making were like music to her ears. She moved her head faster, her tongue swirling around the tip as she took him in deeper.

With a loud groan, Jimin's body stiffened, his hips thrusting into her mouth once, twice, before he released a hot stream of cum down her throat. She choked slightly, unprepared for the intensity of the moment. But she swallowed, eager to please him, her eyes never leaving his as she tasted him for the first time.

His orgasm seemed to last forever, his cock pulsing in her mouth as he filled her with his release. Y/N felt a strange mix of pride and shock as she realized she had brought him to climax. When he finally pulled back, she took a deep breath, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

Jimin's eyes searched hers, looking for any signs of regret or discomfort. But all he saw was a hunger that matched his own. He leaned in, capturing her mouth in a deep, lingering kiss, his tongue sliding against hers as he tasted himself on her lips. "Fuck, Y/N," he murmured against her mouth. "That was...that was amazing."

Y/N's eyes sparkled with excitement and a hint of pride. "I liked it, too," she confessed.

Jimin smiled, his eyes darkening with desire. "I've got something else to show you," he said, his voice low and husky. He pushed her against the wall, his cock rubbing her clit, her legs trembling with anticipation.

With a gentle nudge, he positioned himself at her entrance, his cock slick with precum and her own arousal. Y/N's breath caught in her throat as she felt the tip of him pushing against her. "Relax," he murmured, his voice soothing. "I'll go slow, okay?"

Y/N nodded, her eyes wide with both fear and anticipation. "Okay," she whispered, her voice shaking. "I trust you."

With those words, Jimin pushed forward, entering her slowly. Y/N gasped as she felt herself stretch around him, the sensation both painful and exhilarating. "You're so tight, baby," he groaned, his eyes never leaving hers. "So perfect."

"It hurts a little," Y/N whispered, her eyes watering as she felt the pressure build.

"I know, it's your first time," Jimin said through gritted teeth, his own desire warring with his need to be gentle. "Just breathe, okay?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her eyes squeezed shut as she felt herself stretching around him. "Okay," she managed, her voice shaky.

"Good girl," Jimin murmured, pushing in a little further. "You're doing so well."

Y/N's eyes were snapped shut, her teeth gritted against the pain that grew with every inch of Jimin's cock that entered her. "Baby, relax," he said. "Open your eyes for me."

With a shaky breath, she did as he asked, and his gaze bore into hers, a mix of concern and passion. "You're so fucking beautiful," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion.

Jimin pushed in further, his movements slow and deliberate, watching her face for any signs of distress. Suddenly, her pain transformed into something else, something more profound. Y/N felt a pressure building inside her, a pleasure she had never felt before. She was lost in the sensation, her eyes still locked on Jimin's. She felt a warmth inside her growing.

"Come for me, Y/N," he whispered, his voice a mix of command and desperation. "I need to feel you come."

Y/N's eyes widened, the pressure inside her building to an unbearable crescendo. She didn't know how she knew, but she could feel it coming. Her hips bucked upward, meeting his rhythm, her walls tightening around him. "Jimin," she gasped, her nails digging into his shoulders.

He increased his pace, his strokes more deliberate, his eyes never leaving hers. "Come for me, baby," he urged, his voice a low rumble in her ear.

Y/N's breaths grew more rapid, her body tightening around him like a vice. The pressure grew until she couldn't contain it anymore, and she shattered into a million pieces, her orgasm ripping through her like a storm. She screamed out his name, her nails digging into his back as she rode the waves of pleasure.

Jimin watched her with awe and a hint of pride, his own release building. He felt her walls clench around him, her body pulsing with every spasm of pleasure. He couldn't hold back anymore. With a roar, he drove into her one last time, filling her with his cum.

Their breaths mingled, their bodies slick with sweat. For a moment, they stayed like that, connected in a way that went beyond friendship. Jimin leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, his arms tightening around her.

Y/N's eyes were glazed over, her body still trembling from the intensity of her orgasm. She felt filled and complete, like a puzzle piece finally snapping into place. "Jimin," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.He leaned down, his forehead resting against hers, his breaths coming in pants. "Mhmhmm?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

"Can we...you stay in me for a while?" Y/N asked, her voice still shaky.

Jimin's eyes searched hers, his expression a mix of tenderness and lust. "Of course," he murmured, kissing her gently.

He remained still, his cock still buried deep within her, allowing her to feel the full extent of his warmth and presence. Y/N's eyes drifted closed, her breathing slowly returning to normal as she savored the feeling of their bodies joined together. She had never felt so alive, so wanted.

"Y/N," Jimin whispered, his arms still wrapped around her waist, holding her close.

Y/N's eyes looked at his, lost in the sensation of his warmth inside her and the way he looked at her. "Mm?" she responded, her breaths evening out.

Jimin's voice was gentle, his thumb caressing her cheek. "I like like you."

Y/N's eyes widened at his confession. It was the first time he had admitted any romantic feelings towards her, and she felt like her heart was going to burst out of her chest. "I like like you, too."

He kissed her again, this time softer and more lingering, his tongue tracing the seam of her lips. She opened for him eagerly, her arms wrapping around his neck as they deepened the kiss. Their bodies remained connected, their hearts beating in sync.

When they finally pulled apart, Y/N felt a warmth spread through her that had nothing to do with the aftermath of their passion. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with hope and vulnerability. "So now what?" she whispered.

Jimin's gaze searched hers as a smile plastered on his face. "Now I'm your boyfriend."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. "Your...girlfriend?" she asked, her voice tentative.

Jimin nodded, a soft smile playing on his lips. "If you'll have me," he said, his eyes searching hers.

Y/N felt her heart race, her cheeks flushing at the realization of what this meant. "I will," she replied, her voice barely audible.

Jimin leaned in for another kiss, this one gentle and reassuring. He slowly pulled out of her, and Y/N felt an unexpected pang of loss, but it was quickly replaced with sleep as he lifted her in his arms, bridal style. "Sleep with me," he murmured, carrying her to the bed.

Y/N nodded, her eyes heavy with exhaustion and satisfaction. She allowed him to lay her down, and she snuggled into his embrace, his arm around her waist, his cock still semi-hard against her thigh. They lay there, their bodies entwined, listening to each other's hearts beat in the quiet room.

It was a moment of pure contentment, a moment where their friendship had morphed into something more, something that neither of them had anticipated but both desperately craved. Jimin's hand caressed her skin, his thumb tracing the curve of her hip. Y/N's hand found his, lacing their fingers together.

As they lay in silence, the gravity of their situation began to settle in. They had crossed a line, and there was no going back. But as she felt the steady beat of his heart against her chest, Y/N knew that she didn't want to. For the first time, she felt seen, desired, and loved in a way she had only dreamed of.

Jimin's hand slid down her body, his fingers playing with the folds between her legs. She shivered at the sensation, her body still sensitive from their lovemaking. He chuckled softly. "I can't get enough of you," he whispered, his voice filled with a newfound tenderness that sent butterflies fluttering through her stomach.

Y/N blushed, snuggling closer to him, her heart racing with excitement. "Go to sleep," she murmured, her voice muffled against his chest.

"Fine," he said, his hand coming to rest on her lower stomach. His breaths grew even, and she could feel his chest rise and fall beneath her cheek. Soon she was asleep too.

The next day at school, Y/N was a bundle of nerves. Jimin had handed her a small, unassuming package before they parted ways that morning, his eyes twinkling with mischief. She had opened it in the bathroom to find a small, pink vibrator and a wireless remote. "Wear this all day," he had whispered, his voice thick with excitement. "And I'll surprise you."

Y/N had blushed furiously, but something about the daring thrill of it all had her agreeing. She slid the toy into her panties, the cool plastic against her sensitive flesh sending a shiver down her spine. As she walked to her first class, she could feel it nestled inside her, a constant reminder of the secret they now shared.

Her first class was calculus, a subject she had always found challenging. She took her usual seat in the front, her heart racing as she spotted Jimin sitting in the back, a knowing smirk playing on his lips. The teacher, Mr. Thomas, was notorious for his random, on-the-spot questions, and she could feel Jimin's eyes on her, watching, waiting.

As the lesson droned on, she found it difficult to focus, her mind wandering to the night before and the feel of Jimin inside her. She was jolted back to reality when Mr. Thomas called on her, asking a complex question that she hadn't quite caught. Panic set in, and she stumbled over her words, trying to piece together an answer.

Jimin's smirk grew wider from his spot in the back, his thumb hovering over the button of the small, unassuming device in his pocket. The anticipation was palpable as she took a deep breath to compose herself. The moment she began to speak, his thumb pressed down, and the vibrations shot through her.

Y/N's eyes widened, and she bit her lip to stifle a gasp as the vibrator came to life. She felt her cheeks flush and her pussy clench around the toy, her legs pressing together involuntarily. She stumbled over her words, trying to maintain her composure as the pleasure grew more intense.

Mr. Thomas looked at her quizzically, obviously noticing her distraction. "Miss Y/N?" he prompted, raising an eyebrow.

Y/N's heart was racing as she struggled to focus on the problem at the board. She felt Jimin's eyes on her, the silent challenge in his gaze making her pulse quicken. "I...I just need a moment," she managed to say, her voice shaky.

Mr. Thomas nodded, turning to write something down on his desk. The second his back was turned, Y/N's eyes darted to Jimin, who had the audacity to wink at her. She narrowed her eyes, but she couldn't help the smirk that played on her lips. This was a game she hadn't known she wanted to play.

Jimin leaned back in his chair, his hand still in his pocket, fingering the remote. Y/N could feel the vibrations intensifying, making it almost impossible to concentrate. She squirmed in her seat, her eyes flicking to the clock on the wall, willing the minutes to pass.

Mr. Thomas turned back, "Miss Y/N, are you ready to answer my question now?"

Y/N took a deep breath, her voice trembling slightly as she spoke. "Yes, the answer is 2." She could feel Jimin's eyes on her, his smirk growing wider as he played with the intensity of the vibrator, the buzzing a secret symphony of pleasure between them.

The class droned on, but the focus was no longer on the equations scribbled across the whiteboard. It was on the delicious torment pulsing through her core, the silent battle of wills that had become the rhythm of their morning. Each time she began to get comfortable, Jimin would crank up the vibrations, and she'd have to fight not to moan or squirm in her chair.

The moment Mr. Thomas called for a short break, the tension in the room was palpable. Y/N took the opportunity to stand, her legs shaking with the effort to keep herself upright. She hoped the movement would help disperse the heat pooling between her thighs, but she had underestimated Jimin's determination. The second she was vertical, the vibrations kicked into overdrive, sending her knees wobbling.

Her eyes shot to Jimin's, desperation and pleading mingling in her gaze. He simply grinned, his thumb pressing down on the remote. The vibrator inside her reached full power, and she felt like she was going to collapse. She bit down hard on her lip to keep from crying out, her eyes watering with the effort to maintain her composure.

Y/N's knees buckled, and she reached out to grab the edge of the desk, her knuckles turning white. She felt a hand on her back, and suddenly Jimin was there, his strong arms supporting her. "Wet for me?" he asked, his voice a low murmur that only she could hear.

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she nodded, her breath coming in pants. "Yes," she managed to whisper.

The second she nodded, Jimin's thumb pressed down, the vibrations reaching their peak intensity. The room spun around her, and she felt like she was going to come right there in the middle of calculus class. But before she could, she felt lips on her ear, Jimin's voice a soft, seductive whisper. "Not yet," he said, his breath hot against her skin. "Hold it in."

Y/N bit her lip hard, her eyes squeezed shut as she fought against the waves of pleasure threatening to crash over her. The bell rang, signaling the end of class, and she had never been so grateful for the chaos of students shuffling out of the room. Jimin's arm remained around her waist, his hand in her pocket, guiding her out of the classroom and into the empty hallway.

"Jimin, please, make it stop," she whispered, her voice shaking with need.

He leaned in closer, his breath hot against her ear. "But you said you could handle it," he teased, his thumb playing with the button on the remote, the vibrations fluctuating in response to his touch.

Y/N's eyes rolled back in her head as she tried to stand on trembling legs. "I didn't know it would be this intense," she breathed.

Jimin's smirk grew wider as he leaned in closer, his mouth brushing against her ear. "You like it," he said, his voice a low growl of satisfaction. "Admit it."

Y/N couldn't help the whine that escaped her lips as the vibrations grew stronger. "I do," she admitted, her cheeks flushing. "But I can't walk like this."

Jimin chuckled, the sound sending shivers down her spine. "Fine," he said, the vibrations dying down to a gentle hum. He leaned in, his voice a soft whisper. "Just for now."

Y/N's eyes snapped open, glaring at him with mock irritation. "You're evil," she murmured, but her voice was laced with affection.

Jimin chuckled, his grip on her tightening. "Only when it comes to you, my love," he whispered, his thumb tracing circles on her hipbone.

Y/N's eyes narrowed, but she couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips. She leaned into him, the warmth of his body seeping into her. "You're going to pay for this," she said playfully.

Jimin's eyes danced with mischief. "Looking forward to it," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her lips.

59 notes · View notes