#it was esp dangerous at the time
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shallowrambles · 2 years ago
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Ben and Lisa and Lisa's devastating pursuit of normal
Ben is on the nose. He's literally named "son," and he acts like adult!performing!Dean, rather than a nuaced 3D person at first. Like Ben doesn't act like a real child. In fact, Ben seems awkwardly, gleefully wrought, like a bad red herring. I mean, a kid loving AC/DC? Leather jacket? Not even Dean liked these things. He aped them from John. Kids from this time are into Spiderman. Ninja-Turtles. Ben is sketched obnoxiously, even by SPN writing standards.
Lisa's weird, impulsive clingy behavior is best explained by either thinking Dean's the father for real or needing him to be, in order to sell a lie to herself. There's some weird stuff about her. Lisa looks loaded, financially wise. There's family money or at least help on the downpayment. She rented a bounce house for a kids' party. That $100-200 even by today's standards. Yikes!
My girl was a young yoga instructor with an unexpected pregnancy...kinda hard to make things work without some help. We know her sister is in the picture, but is she estranged from her parents? The grandparents are nowhere to be seen. Something is off about her family life. There's no Ben-with-grandparents photos. Dean played golf, but not with his father-in-law? Weird. They look like a golf-with-granpa family. That looks like a golf-with-granpa house.
So, taking it further than that, Lisa looks like a gal who knows how to use BC and condoms, and she'd def use that with a rando stranger. Unless she couldn't afford BC, which means... hmm. So, how did she get pregnant? Coykd it have been potentially traumatic? Maybe she knows who the actusl father is. That's what the stammering blood test is about. She needs to convince herself that the real father...isn't. Because it's shameful. She'd rather it be Dean instead. Perhaps? It's an interesting thought.
On a strategical front, even Cas knew to use Claire against Jimmy. Michael would have absolutely jumped into Ben, rather than dig up Adam. Frankly, Dean and Cas erasing Ben's memories when he's a potential vessel would be strategical suicide, dooming Ben to live in a world as a vessel but without any warning/protection about avoiding angelic manipulation.
So that leaves options:
If you say yes, Ben is Dean's kid, you have to then consider that A, Michael is just stupid (unlikely), or B, he's kind and wouldn't use a kid (even more unlikely)
If you say Ben isn't, then either A, Lisa is tragically fixated on Dean (not unusual for cool!girl writing in SPN), B, Lisa is using Dean to cover her own trauma (thematically consistent), or Lisa and Ben were mind-whammied beforehand to fit a particular aesthetic for Dean (ick).
The second scenario looks more likely. I prefer option 2. And furthermore, if we're going to harp on AC/DC and leather jackets being "heritable," that's all Lisa. It's Ben who shares Lisa's tastes. She introduced him to leather jackets and AC/DC, because Lisa also apes what she looks for in a man. If a single weekend was her best after a near decade, and a year with a paranoid was that good for her, something's up with her life. She needs "normal" too much. Tldr; Lisa desperately wanted normal more than even Dean did because her life was already broken.
Maybe she needed a weekend where a man wanted her for her, not for money or whatever. Maybe it was the LACK of lindness in her life that made Dean sooooo special and the "best night of my life" shit is a smokescreen she uses to ward off this truth? Maybe it was she who desperately needed a normal apple pie family life w/o shame. Any man would do so long as they tried to make it work; so long as they were kind; anything to make Lisa appear normal.
That's a good argument as any why Lisa needed to play house so badly.
Being a cool!girl is an act. You put up with shit because you know it's the only way to get table scraps.
Lisa is the superior pretender, and Dean had no idea because he was young and perceived normal folks as "having all their shit together." Lisa's pretending is beaten only by Bela Talbot imho
P.S. Ben's not John's either for same angelic reasons as above. However, he might be Arthur Ketch's.
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apuff · 2 months ago
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my chemical tober :D
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radioroxx · 2 months ago
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What do you think Odile does for a living? She feels teacher like to me. What do you think she would do post canon?
HMMMM THIS IS GOOD QUESTION…
ive seen a lot of people hc her as a teacher / professor so i!! think that suits her pretty well. specifically as someone who studies + specializes in different types of craft (that would be why shes so proficient in multiple craft spells. also how she was able to figure out the loops stuff, AND to find something that could prevent siffrin from looping back).
post canon i am not sure… i am always torn between how the party would handle things post canon. obviously they would keep travelling for a bit, odile alongside her family without the stress of. constant sadness encounters + a king to kill lol. i think maybe she would get to take her time, reeaally get to know vauguardian culture when not within. a crisis. as was her original intention.
eventually. EVENTUALLY. when the family settles down somewhere (i am a “they all get a big house together” believer lol) she would get back into craft stuff. maybe go back into teaching too—surely people would be eager to hire a saviour. especially though i think it would be neat of her to try looking into wish craft etc, as a long forgotten form of craft. to satisfy her own curiosity, for siffrins sake, or just as a way of preserving the countries culture in whatever ways possible.
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liquidstar · 6 months ago
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I have abs not from working out but from coughing so much all the time for like a decade that I might as well have been doing crunches
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bunnyboy-juice · 10 months ago
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im begging people to turn on the post dates for your feed bc sometimes i see ppl rb advice with good intentions but the advice is from 2010-2017 and therefore is WILDLY outdated!!!! and that's not good!!!!!
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waywardsalt · 4 months ago
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with my phantom hourglass replay, there are two things i noticed;
a possible theme you could glean from the game is action vs inaction, and i think it's especially prevalent before you even leave mercay the first time, with oshus frequently urging link to not go after the ghost ship, then to just wait until the broken bridge is fixed, and seems reluctant at every turn while link and ciela are more than eager to go and do something about this problem, and the people of mercay in general talking about things and their problems but never seeming to act on their fears or desires, as well as the mention that due to the ghost ship, very very few people are still sailing around, while linebeck is one of the only people we see in the game actively going after the ghost ship and still sailing around. i might make a longer post just talking more about the action vs inaction in phantom hourglass but i just noticed it a bit and thought it was a bit of an interesting sort of theme you could find in the game.
linebeck moves so fucking much. i think he moves more than any npc in the rest of the game. not just in his intro cutscene where he is very animated, just in how much he moves when just standing in his little idle post, it's damn near distracting when the camera is focused on him, he moves a lot. i don't think i've really acknowledged how much he moves, and it really gives the impression that he's antsy or eager to get going, both of which fit him pretty well with how he acts.
#phantom hourglass#linebeck#loz#legend of zelda#salty talks#imo the action vs inaction thing feels esp interesting to me when looking at oshus specifically. he and his world are in grave danger#and he knows it and he actively does nothing and even seems reluctant to let ciela and link go ahead and do something.#of course he comes around on it but it's very interesting. has he given up at that point? thats what it suggests to me#that hes like. joined the people of mercay in just lying down and waiting for other people to fix their problems or just. not do anything#otherwise on mercay you have that old guy in the bar who spends the whole game not leaving bc he doesnt want to face his wife#and she never goes to the bar to actually look for him and just talks about it if anything#the guy with the blue tunic talks a lot about linebeck and his ship and almost gives the impression that he really wants to talk to him#but yknow. doesnt. theres the women that tells you about docks being shut down and how linebeck is the only person who's showed up#the woman you see at the broken bridge who's just like oh well! time to wait til someone fixes it.#even the guy fixing the bridge iirc is like well fuck i gotta do it or else oshus is going to bitch at me abt it#everyone seems reluctant to act which makes for an interesting way in how our main crew stands out#it is less so oh theyve been chosen specifically for this its moreso they're the ones who are fucking doing something about this#for their own various reasons some of which are more selfish but theyre still doing something#will likely have more stuff to say when im done but ofc we have other characters in the game who have to do with this#anyways. linebeck is so animated all of the fucking time it's great i dont think theres any other character that moves as much as him#when he's just standing around to talking to link it's great. he's so ready to get going.#it works with him being an anxious mess and also with like. oh he's probably understimulated. you know he's got a nasty case of wanderlust#i can put it with the idea that he's understimulated and afraid to stim in public so he's just constantly moving#he probably drums his fingers on tables bounces his leg when sitting paces around switches the way he sits or lays down often#tbh this kinda fits in with him being one of the main characters who takes action moreso than a lot of other characters#his arc culminates in him taking action he's going after the ghost ship he's moving around the world the only issue is that one of the#actions he takes is running away from his problems literally n metaphorically (tho idk if facing the jolene problem is a good idea for him)
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knifekris · 3 months ago
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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1eeminho · 2 months ago
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kpoppies only response to clearly malnourished idols being 'some people are just naturally skinny!!!' is so fucking harmful lol like yes. of course some people are naturally very skinny and receive societal backlash bc of that and its an issue that needs to be taken seriously as well. at the same time, if u see an idol who in pics of them as children have a different body type + theyre working in an industry that openly promotes insane diets to stay skinny, then the probability of your idol being naturally very skinny and not due to extreme dieting and/or drugs is quite low. and the solution is not to comment it under every picture of them of course But it needs to be talked about in general that many many idols are starving themselves and are celebrated for it. and going all 'its just their natural body stfu' every time is not helping either.
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strawbubbysugar · 10 months ago
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Oh that must've been so scary for June, feeling his own organs grow cold because Goodbye was freezing Can Hello feel the cold through June too? Or does that kind of soulmate feeling not transfer?
Hello can feel it, he just doesn’t have a frame of reference for it! ‘Cold’ felt numb to him, but he’s never felt cold before, so he wasn’t sure how to respond! :)
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kelpiemomma · 1 year ago
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He hesitated as the child below him smiled and reached up. His claws rested right above its head and yet it looked delighted to see him. Did it not realize the danger it was in? It grabbed his fur and giggled.
"Puppy!"
...if he was asked, he was simply raising it up to help him infiltrate human settlements better.
#Khan a.#Zoroark Khan#Raised by Zoroarks au#Khan finds Akari in the middle of nowhere and is about to kill her (bc all humans deserve to die in his eyes)#But when she smiles at him he can't do it and decides to take her in and raise her instead#There was something about her looking... Happy to see him that stopped him#(when was the last time anyone was happy to see him?)#(this is bc I thought it'd be funny if Khan raised akari as a Zoroark and then got upset and jealous#When ingo drops the fuck out of the sky and after becoming the warden becomes friendly#the weird feral child running with Zoroarks. He tries to guide her into human behaviors which she finds so INTERESTING#Esp when he decides she's good enough to go into town!!! The town humans are neat and not at all scary like khan had always said#Ingo lies and says she's his daughter. That they had gotten separated during travel. That she had to survive on her own for a time#Which is why she's... Like That. Everyone eats it up. Gives her free stuff. Tells her they're glad she's reunited with her dad.#Akari tells Khan (who's only referred to as 'malice' yet) and Khan gets jealous as FUCK.#That is HIS BABY. HE FOUND HER. HE RAISED HER. SHE'S HIS DAUGHTER. NOT INGO'S!!!#But when he tries to sneak into Jubilife to steal her back? Bring her home? Do something? He's caught and chased out. And the next morning#Things are abuzz with the news that a black Zoroark had tried to break in!! Those things are so dangerous!! Say...#Hadn't the clans mentioned a black Zoroark before?#Akari discovers then (long after befriending ingo and months since she started coming into town) that Khan had told her the truth.#That these people hated Zoroarks. Feared them. But Ingo tells her that the clans have been harassed by them for generations.#That Malice is right but also he's wrong. And Akari decides she's going to show how GOOD Zoroarks are!!! How loving the are to their family#She ends up helping Laventon and Rei with the dex. She is still known as Warden Ingo's Feral Daughter. And everyone wonders and fears#Bc somehow one of the first pokemon she caught was a zorua she keeps in her party ALWAYS. Ingo thinks her wanting to show the good side#of Zoroarks is a good thing. Peace would be beneficial. He's heard hunters in the pearl clan discuss wanting to track down and kill#Every Zoroark and zorua to keep them from hunting the clans. He doesn't want an entire species wiped out!#So there is Ingo and his 'daughter' (who he is genuinely starting to see as his daughter) and then suddenly#One day there is a knock at the door. And ingo opens it to see a young man with a nasty scar GLARING at him#And the first thing he says is 'give me back my child' which makes ingo ???)#There were more tags but Tumblr said 'fuck you that's too many'#TLDR ingo has to lie to Jubilife residents and tell them Khan is his ex and the residents are LIVING for the perceived Family Drama™️
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yourlocaldisneyvillain · 4 months ago
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i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3
#personal#i honestly wrote it bc i was feeling quite Bad abt very Old Wounds haha as i am sometimes wont to do#bc of a person/event that reminded me of my abuser#i thought it may resonate with like one or two people but i mainly wrote it for myself#and i am so surprised that so many people have messaged me about it#also kinda sad bc that means they've Not Had A Good Time#however i'm very glad my fiction can provide some sort of relief/catharsis#it's an isolating experience to have very ambivalent feelings abt your own abuse#and to become aware of your own patterns of seeking to repeat it/seeking toxic dynamics that remind you of it#about 6 years have passed since i was last abused in such a way#and while i do get randomly sad about it and while it has affected my psyche in a very significant way#and while i still do get the occasional flashback albeit it is much more rare nowadays#and still do react to certain things quite disproportionately#i have to say it DOES get better#esp if you make a tangible effort to heal#you will get there#and while it is a part of you it is not who you are#and you are capable of living a fulfilled and satisfying life#sexually and otherwise#i used to be so upset about not being a Good Victim#but the best thing i've done is that i have given myself grace and stopped policing/moralising my own experience#(that does not mean allowing myself to engage in repeated self-abuse)#(even if i have slipped a couple of times bc i am human)#i have allowed the space for my toxic fantasies instead of trying to banish them#but i have sought to fill my life with other positive experiences#while not forgetting or erasing the negatives#and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy#also kink has helped a lot as well as writing#but i advise ppl to tread VERY carefully with kink as esp as abuse survivors#it is a slippery slope and it can be dangerous in many ways
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planet4546b · 2 years ago
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i realized last time i was playing soma that the glitch effects/whirring servo noise when monsters get close is not, in fact, some ambient effect of the monsters themselves but just simons physical reactions to fear (the glitch effect happened while i was climbing over a big gap with no monster in sight and i was like. oh no he’s just scared!) and it makes me so protective of simon it’s unreal. i’m like it’s ok simon. i’ll be brave we’ll get through this. take my hand buddy
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piplupod · 9 months ago
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honestly i wish i didnt know as much as i do about occultism and spirituality because it is so fucking frustrating to see ppl talk about it and they very obviously do not have the knowledge that i have. like i am so open to being wrong, but i see things that ppl are saying and i'm fairly certain that they just ... do not have the depth of knowledge i do, so they say very ignorant things, or draw lines between things in an incredibly (potentially dangerously) overgeneralized way. and i am just sitting here like "oh you have no clue what you are saying right now, do you? you do not realize what you are saying is unfortunately pretty damn wrong." and i have to back away from the screen bc i do not discuss these things anymore due to the brain being constantly ready to dropkick me straight into a mental health crisis
but christ alive i think anyone who engages with spirituality needs to read up on like. essentially Everything they can get their hands on, even if they do not necessarily agree with the ideas being presented, because that way !! you learn !! and you grow to realize what things are borne out of racism and grossly mystifying other cultures and straight up white supremacy and nazi ideology and encouraging psychotic symptoms that lead to mental health crises !!!
#i hate new age spirituality so much. soooo much. 90% of it is just racism repackaged with a pretty bow on top#and nobody realizes bc they do not know what the fuck they are engaging with :))) what the roots of it all actually is !!!#and i do not necessarily blame them but i am so .... its tiring. and disconcerting. and scary. to see all of it being paraded around#esp when ppl accuse you of being ignorant or cruel for criticising smth that is so fucking dangerous or racist hsdgjkl ARGH ARGH ARGH#just bc they themselves do not realize !! it is dangerous and/or racist!! and they assume you must be wrong to criticise them!!!#sorry im just hgdsgjkl. this drives me crazy. i also hope i dont sound egotistical or high-n-mighty#but i do genuinely know i have more knowledge than the average bear (not difficult to though tbh! u just have to read a lot!!)#because i was so fucking fixated on it and went delving into so many books and pdfs and websites and did my own stuff on my own time#for several years#i was DEEP in this stuff (and boy howdy my mental health suffered for it lmfao me when i lose touch w reality almost entirely !!)#AND OBVIOUSLY. not everyone is going to have the same exps i did when they do spirituality stuff#but . it is very common esp these days. there is a whole label for it lol#ALRIGHT IM DONE RANTING NOW. im going to log off from everything for a good long while today to try to reset my nervous system lmfao#sorry for the public yelling and wailing fsdfjkl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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bunnyboy-juice · 24 days ago
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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
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rpgbabe · 7 months ago
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will never not be boggling to me that ppl see smoking (tobacco) as more of a red flag/deal breaker than drinking like..?? smoking smells bad and kills u faster..? drinking does that and more.. and actually affects how u treat ppl around u (sometimes). im not saying every1 who drinks is abusive or alcoholic obv im just saying the potential risk for drinking vs. smoking in a partner is.. not even close
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salt-baby · 8 months ago
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I think the take-away from my near death experience is that I am simply unkillable
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