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#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly
knifekris
·
1 month
Text
every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind
#mostly because options suck
#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician
#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert
#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually
#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term
#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time
#which is what limits most of my choices
#i need to find more paid training programs i guess
#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself
#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late
#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly
#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying
#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics
#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/
#the most fun ive had at a job ever
#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training
#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for
#and again
#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing
#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it
#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different
#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people
#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port
#they were able to run like seven tests off of it
#i had to use a couple ped tubes
#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier
#labs are so miserable
#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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