#and while my abuse will always be a part of me it will not prevent me from being happy

[yourlocaldisneyvillain]

i'm overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments i got on my latest fic! my heart goes out to all the survivors of sexual abuse, and i'm glad my fic has helped many of you process your own trauma. <3

[some-bunniii]

Lucifer breaks your deal with Alastor

・❥ Your soul is owned by Alastor, and Lucifer is not pleased about it.

x: OVER 20k words!? strap in ya’ll, it’s a roller coaster.

xx: reader is g/n. no use of y/n. if you want to read it in chapter-form, you can read it over on my ao3 here.

warnings: adult themes, abuse, angst

‘Alright, deep breaths. You’ve got this. You’ve practiced this so much it’s a cakewalk, so just take it easy. You’ll rock it, like always.’

“Oi! Welcome to the show, ya dirty sinners! Didn’t think ya’d see me all the way up here, did’ja?!”

Screams and cheers echoed from the seats below, as the voice of the King of Greed boomed from the loudspeakers. 

"Well, listen up, ya pitiful souls! I've got a craving for some more cash, so I've decided to bring the whole shebang right here to the heart of sin, Pentagram City!"

The cheering erupted once more, the spotlights danced across the sandy pit underneath the large circus tent. On the perimeter were rows and rows of stands, packed with demons nestled against each other.

It was Mammon’s first circus show in the Pride Ring, a very rare sight to see him leave his cozy little ring in general. But, when a good portion of your fans are sinners who can’t leave without being incinerated, then you have to receive them on their home turf.

In the large pit, two lions jumped obediently through hoops, their handlers shouting commands and cracking their whips to further spur the cat’s maneuvers.

Bright green flame danced around the lion’s faces, resembling that of a large mane. Their eyes were soulless, black pits that glimmered in the bright lights as they continued maneuvers through the tight obstacles.

On the edges of the pit, support poles towered above the crowd. Thin wires snaked across them, anchored to large platforms that hung in the air from the pole’s side.

“As ya can see, we’ve got a big show tah’night! Lots of great fuckin’ acts for ya mongrels to eat up. But, before we get to the juicy bits, direct your eyes up to the ceiling to get a look at our first performance!” 

Hundreds of gazes lifted to sky, the spotlights below beaming upward towards a platform at one end of the tent.

Bright, white lights hit your vision, and you squinted your eyes to prevent them from burning to a crisp from the focused beams.

You stood, your bare feet planted firmly against the platform’s white surface. Before you, a tightrope connected your place to another platform in the distance, beckoning you.

A small hoop hung from the ceiling, encircling a small portion of the wire. The trick was that it was too small for you to stand up straight while walking through it, so you’d need to limbo underneath it.

"As you can see, we've got some sorry sap up there that is about to practically walk on thin air! See that hoop over there? They're fixin' to stroll right through it."

Small ooh’s and ahh’s emanated from the crowd, their eyes darting from you to the hoop.

"But hold your horses, folks! That ain't your run-of-the-mill hoop, no sir! That, my friends, is a hoop on fuckin’ fire!!”

Suddenly, the hoop ignited in a burst of green flames, illuminating the area before you. Gulping, you took another deep breath, steadying yourself.

Okay, well, you knew that was gonna happen. You’ve just never actually practiced with the hoop on fire, but it shouldn’t be too hard.. right?

You nodded to yourself, assuring your racing thoughts that everything was gonna be alright.

The skin-tight suit you were wearing sparkled in the spotlight, dazzling the spectators with a red gleam as you hovered right over the edge of the platform, waving to the crowd. 

You had been performing ever since you could remember, and this was just another part of the job. You weren’t a part of Mammon’s original crew though, only being given the opportunity when they arrived at Pentagram City.

You were a Sinner, which meant being confined to the Pride Ring just like the rest. Fortunately, one of Mammon’s acrobats was too sickly to perform, so when you saw the large poster detailing auditions, you jumped at the opportunity to make some extra bucks.

You had arrived at the settled convoy of vehicles and trailers at the outskirts of the city, you were ecstatic. You hadn’t performed in an actual circus in forever, and the make-shift village of performers and equipment was a fresh sight.

Mammon himself was a… colorful character. He was a hard party rocker with a big ego, and most likely had a swear jar at home overflowing with pennies, with how that guy talked.

You hadn’t really met him when you auditioned, but you could definitely hear him. He was loud, practically demanding everyone’s attention even when he wasn’t addressing them. 

You could hear him yelling about an absent performer, annoyance evident in his voice as he berated an assistant.

"What do ya mean he couldn't make it to practice 'cause he lost his voice? He's a bloody mime, mate! What the hell are we payin’ these blokes for!?"

When you had performed for the recruiters—which you were surprised to find wasn’t Mammon, since the guy seemed to stick his nose in everything—you displayed to them your . A few somersaults, a bit of ariel silk action, and the classic, juggling. 

“How good is your balance?” One of them had questioned, their pen tapping softly against the wooden desk, as they considered your skills.

“Good enough, I suppose.” You replied truthfully.

Long story short, you got the gig. Although, when you heard they wanted you to tightrope under a hoop, that was a little surprising. 

Good thing you weren’t afraid of heights, or this would have been a nightmare.

Backing away from the edge, your gaze rested on the hoop aflame in front of you. After Mammon would finish speaking, you’d begin your act.

"But that ain't the only thing heating up tonight, folks."

Wait, what did he mean by that?

“‘Cause the tightrope… is also on fire!!!” 

What?!

The crowd went berserk hearing that. They whooped and hollered, as their twisted little fantasies came true before their eyes.

“Oh, god damnit, Mammon!” You muttered.

When you told them you had a pretty good pain tolerance, that did not mean resistance to fire!

You sighed, it was a little too late to back out now. Plus, you needed the money. Bouncing on your toes, you attempted to hype yourself up.

Exhaling a large breath, your foot lifted from the stand, and slowly reached out towards the tightrope. 

‘Fuck, this is going to hurt.’ you groaned internally, your toe just inches from the wire. You could feel the heat of the fire as it hungrily licked at your feet. 

Right as you were about to place yourself onto the wire, you felt something tugging at the back of your collar. 

It was deathly cold, and you tried to pull away from its touch, but whatever was holding you had a strong grip. A thick green fog-like substance pooled at your feet, and you looked down in confusion as it began to circle around your figure.

You felt the force on your collar harshly pull you backwards, and your feet lifted from the ground. The smoke became so thick in front of you, it was only the bright lights from the spotlights below that gave you any visual. Suddenly, large eyes began to dot your vision, staring directly at you, into your hollow being.

“What the fu-”

Darkness suddenly covered your vision, and you felt like you were floating in mid-air. Though, you couldn’t tell where exactly in the air you were, other than the fact the surface below you had completely vanished.

You tried to peel your eyes open, but whatever had thrusted you into this chilling realm would not let you get a glimpse of your surroundings. It wasn’t until you felt your feet hit firm ground, and a much less intense light hit your eyelids. You opened them slowly, your mouth still partially open.

“-ckkkk?” You finished, your eyes darting from one side of the mysterious room to the other. It looked strange.. to say the least. It was old, a little run down. It screamed tacky. 

You observed the room again, trying to find anything familiar that could gauge your location.

Were you in a hotel lobby? But, why? How? You’ve never been here before, nor did you know anyone who stayed at such a dump.

“Ah, there you are, my friend! What a pleasure to see you!”

You pivoted sharply to face behind you, and your eyes widened in shock at the familiar face.

Standing before you, a large toothy-grin plastered across his face, was Alastor. The owner of your soul, your eternal boss, the Radio Demon, and the butt end of most of your unfunny jokes—which you would never dare say in front of him.

“You!”

Your finger lifted, pointing accusingly at the tall, red demon. He only tilted his head amusingly at you, that smile only growing wider as you frowned.

“Yes, it is I. I’m glad you remember my face, how are you today?” 

“What do you want?” You grumbled, ignoring his question. You crossed your arms before taking a step back. There were others behind him, but it was Alastor you were focused on as you waited for his response.

“Oh, just some charity work. My new friends over here are in need of some more helping hands, so I took it upon myself to volunteer your services!” 

He motioned to the others behind him, and you glanced at the strangers. One of them was a woman with long, platinum-blonde hair, who smiled awkwardly at you with a wave. 

“That’s great!” You replied sarcastically, throwing your hands up in exasperation, “but couldn’t you wait until after my gig? I was about to make some good money!”

Alastor only sidled up to you, before wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his cheek as if you two were best friends. You wanted to recoil from his touch, but you knew you’d get nothing good out of that action. 

“Oh, I am terribly sorry about that, my friend. But, we do have an agreement, as I'm sure you are well aware. Which means, for the time being, you’ll be living here at the hotel!”

Of course you were aware of the “agreement”, the guy had your soul! 

“What hotel?”

“The Hazbin Hotel! What do you think about the name, hm? I came up with it myself!” 

“It’s kind of lame.” 

“Oh-ho! You are such a charm, my dear! I can always count on you to liven up the room with your jokes.”

You sighed, uncrossing your arms and lowering them to your sides in defeat. You were stuck here, with Alastor, until he no longer needed your presence. As always.

“I still would have appreciated a call beforehand or something.” 

“Take my arrival back in the city as the call, my friend. My return was no doubt discussed by many. You knew I’d acquire your assistance at some point.”

Yes, that’s right. Alastor had been gone a good, what, seven years? It was strange, how he had just disappeared without a word or any kind of clue to his location. Where had he gone? Why was he being so secretive about it?

You didn’t miss him, of course. His absence was a mini vacation for you, a break from endless favors that he deemed you worthy to complete. What a joke.

“Now, why don’t we go and introduce you to all these fantastic fellows, hm?” He spoke, a command deep in his static-laced tone.

You turned back towards the small group of demons, who stood a few feet away silently as the two of you bickered. Standing slightly away from the rest, was a familiar furry face. Husker. He was here too? 

Nudging you forward with his cane, you walked up to the onlookers, who regarded you with a mixed expression. The shorter gray lady stood glaring at you with suspicion, her eyes darting between you and Alastor.

Beside her, was that pretty pale-faced demon in the red tuxedo. She smiled broadly at you, her eyes practically gleaming in excitement at seeing the multiple new faces.

“Hello! My name is Charlie, and this is my hotel! I'm so glad to have you aboard!” 

“..Hi, it’s good to meet you too.”

“Let me introduce you to our crew! Over there is my girlfriend, Vaggie!”

She motioned towards the shorter gray woman, and you looked at her more carefully. She had an X across her eye, barely visible with the long hair she situated across half her face. She still eyed you with suspicion, but her demeanor had softened as Charlie spoke to you.

“And, over there is Angel Dust, our first resident of the hotel!”

“How ya doing, Sugar?” Angel winked at you, as he leaned against the bar counter. Husk stood behind the counter, a thin line on his lips.

“I’m sure you’re familiar with Husker and Niffty, right?” 

You nodded, your gaze meeting Husk’s. His eyes softened just a teeny bit, before he let out a hmph and turned away towards the shelves of bottles against the wall.

Your attention turned back to Charlie, as she began filling you in with the details about the hotel and her plans.

She seemed like a sweet girl, passionate and imaginative. When she described her dreams to you, for the hotel, for the entirety of Hell, you listened carefully.

Sinners.. being redeemed? Going to Heaven? That seemed too good to be true. Unbelievable, almost. Sure, some of the demons down here weren’t too bad, but surely none of them were good enough to actually climb to the pearly gates. 

Charlie seemed… different from other dreamers, though, like she could actually get it to work. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what made you think so. Maybe it was because she was the princess of Hell, and was the second highest on the food chain of this damned place.

You were lucky with how down-to-earth she was, or your bluntness would have probably gotten you smited by now.

In comparison to Charlie, you were a nobody. Well, you were nobody in general. You didn’t own anything of value, not even your soul.

Charlie didn’t act like a princess though. Such as how she spoke to you, and her friends. No command in her tone, no true motives behind layers of smiles and sweetly spoken lies. 

If she was the owner of your soul, maybe life wouldn’t be so bad. She treated everyone fairly, without judgment of who they used to be. Only dreaming of who they could be.

Was the King of Hell the same? How much did Charlie mirror her father, anyway? 

“So.. what can you do?” Charlie broke you from your thoughts, she was turned to you, her gaze meeting yours intently as she waited for you to respond.

“Well, I'm a performer! Mostly aerobatics, but I can dance and other tricks. Oh! I’m also a crowd-pleaser, i’m a really smooth talker.”  

“That’s ssooooo cool! You do that kind of stuff, like, in the circus?”

“Mostly, yes. Any odd jobs I can find looking for my skill set, really. I’m not picky when it comes to money.”

Charlie contemplated your words for a moment, her eyes darting. She’s already got a bartender and a cleaning lady, but where to put you…

“I’m also fantastic at pick-pocketing.” You grinned pridefully at her. It was something you were very good at, and that you had continued to perfect during your time in Hell.

It was also what led you to make that wretched deal with Alastor. 

“Oh.. um, let’s stick with your other skills, hm?” Charlie smiled awkwardly, before she turned her head, and her eyes landed on an empty desk situated near the large entrance doors. 

She perked, her eyes widening in glee as she spun around towards you. 

“That’s it! You can be our new receptionist! You’ll answer calls and greet all our newcomers, and you’ll be in charge of making sure all our guests are well taken care of during their stay.”

Your smile faltered, your gaze resting on the desk behind Charlie before meeting her eyes once more. You chuckled like she had just told you a good joke. Except when your eyes met hers again, she only smiled at you in anticipation.

Wait, was she serious?

“I’m sorry,” you started, lifting your hands up and shaking your head, “but that is not something i’m good at nor-“

“Well I think it’s a splendid idea!” Alastor appeared besides you, his hand resting on your shoulder. His claws dug slightly into your suit, and you whipped your head up, eyeing him with animosity. 

His eyes were squinted, a glare behind that wide grin. ‘Stay in line, or else.’ was his silent command. You scrunched up your nose, ready to argue, but the intellectual part of your brain smacked you upside the head. 

Your shoulders drooped, that frown deepening before you turned to Alastor. You pulled your shoulder from his grip, and looked at Charlie. 

“Fine.”

And, that’s how it was for a time. 

There wasn’t much to do, in all honesty. As the months ticked by, you sat at that desk drowning in boredom. The people at the hotel were lively, but the job? Not so much.

While Alastor was the face, you were the paperwork. Although, he barely acted like it, which meant you took most of the work. 

There were barely any phone calls, any new visitors, anything new at all really. So, you instead filled your days with walking around the hotel, observing the rooms of any renovations that Alastor could make, or you’d write shopping lists for groceries and other miniscule items for the crew, and going out yourself to shop. 

There was that one demon, the snake inventor, that had become a resident during your time working. You had been there, when he attacked Alastor on the hotel’s doorstep. Your mouth agape as you watched him tear a piece of your boss’s suit, waiting for the snake to meet his death.

He didn’t, surprisingly. Instead, he had arrived not too long after apologizing. Which was shocking, and.. eye opening. 

Could Charlie’s dream come true? Alastor spoke of it as if it would turn into nothing but a failure. You had believed him, but now, that doubt was fading from your mind.

Could.. there be a chance for you too? 

You had mentally slapped yourself for that thought. You, redeemed? With no soul, you were trapped here. Only ever being able to watch from the sidelines as those more worthy ascended. 

Thoughts like that only came when you had drank a little too much. Finger mindlessly circling the rim of your wine glass, brow furrowed as you lamented over your poor decisions, you’d sit at the bar in silence late at night.

Nobody bothered you during those times, not even Alastor. No one saw the way your lip began to quiver, the way your vision blurred with tears.

No one noticed the surface of your drink disturbed with a droplet of salty sadness as it mixed with the bitter alcohol. 

‘You don’t deserve to feel sorry for yourself,’ you’d think bitterly, soaked anger spilling down your cheeks, ‘you damned yourself to eternal suffering the moment you shook that demon’s hand.’

Taking the glass, you’d lift it to your lips and empty the rest of the contents. That salty tang still hanging on your tongue when you set the glass back down.

On the worst nights, you’d simply rest your head against the countertop. The cool surface refreshing to your warm cheek, as you curled into yourself, and drifted into a restless sleep.

When you’d wake a few hours later, your blood-shot, tired eyes would open to the sight of a glass of ice-cold water and a migraine pill sitting a few feet away from your face. 

You never saw who catered to your hungover needs, but you had an inkling of a guess.

Lifting your head, you’d blink away the morning fog before sitting up straight with a groan. Slowly, you’d reach out and grab the small capsule and the water, before swallowing both in one large gulp.

Then, it was back to work as always.

Sometimes, you’d actually that phone on your desk would brnnnggg loudly, and you’d leap out of your chair to have a conversation with a fresh new voice. 

“You guys at least provide free Hash, right?” The masculine voice on the other end questioned.

“Sir, this a hotel meant for redemption. Y’know, to Heaven? We don’t have any paraphernalia here.” You grumbled, pinching the bridge of your nose in frustration as you listened to the guy.

“Wait.. so you’re saying Heaven doesn’t have joints?”

“I’ve never been up there, obviously. Though I'm sure drugs are a big no-no up there.” 

“Then what the fuck is the point of wanting to go up there?! No weed? No sex toys? Fuck Heaven! Fuck you and your stupid little hotel!” 

“Choke on dick and die!” You snarled, slamming the phone back into place. You leaned back in the chair, fuming silently. The calls never ended well. 

“Good job, you’re really pulling in all those potential residents.” A sarcastic voice piped up near you.

Your head snapped to the bar across the room, your gaze resting on the black and white feline who was busy cleaning glasses on the counter. 

Standing from your spot, you stroll over to the bar, before nestling into one of the bar stools. Placing a hand under your chin, you rested your elbow against the shiny countertop.

“Pour an old friend a drink, won’t you Husk?” You asked sweetly, batting your eyelashes at him. 

His soul was owned by Alastor too, and even if you didn’t know the guy too well, you felt a kinship with him. You both were hollow beings, now.

“We ain’t friends,” the demon grumbled, “I'm just stuck with you and Niffty until I kick the bucket.”

“Okay, Mr. Grumpy-Pants.” You laughed as he reached for your go-to bottle. Same old, adorably-cross Husker. 

He was getting better, though. Happier, even. The night he disappeared to go retrieve Angel Dust, he came back with a bounce in his step. Seemingly more at peace, with whatever happened between the two away from prying eyes.

Once, you swore you heard him humming some old, happy tune while he organized the liquor bottles on the shelf. Husk.. singing? That was something you thought you’d never see.

He had a very good poker face, and half the time you couldn’t tell if the kitty even liked you. He always regarded you like he was behind a closed, see-through door. Getting close to you just enough to see and speak to you, but never enough you could actually reach out and use him for support. Hopefully, he was getting better with that too.

Maybe, with how things were going, he’d let you scratch his chin one day. You always wanted to try it, see if he purred just like they did back on Earth.

“What do you think about the hotel?”  You asked him, as he popped the cap off the bottle with his claw, and began pouring a glass in front of your seat.

“It ain’t too bad,” Husk replied truthfully, “But, it could be better.”

“I agree, I was having a pretty good time out on my own before this. Guess we’ll just have to get used to it, I’m not sure how long Alastor plans to keep us here.”

“You don’t know?” 

You raised an eyebrow at the feline, as you took a sip of your drink. “No, I don’t. Why would you think I do?” 

“Well, I just assumed the two of you would discuss those kind things.”

“You think I talk to Alastor about his deceitful plans with this place?” 

“Why wouldn’t you? I mean, you two are practically the same, with your silver-tongue and all.”

You leaned back, a mixture of surprise and disgust on your face at his words. Husk thought you and Alastor were like, what, best buddies? The demon that owned your soul?

“That’s a fucking lie,” You growled, glaring at him, “I’m not like that douchebag at all. Just because I’m good at talking my way out of tough shit, doesn’t mean I use them to manipulate people into making magical deals that fuck up their entire existence.” 

Using your feet, you pushed your chair back forcefully. It scraped harshly against the wooden floor, as you stood up from the stool. You didn’t even glance at Husk as you sharply turned away, and stomped across the room.

“Thanks for the drink, Asshole.” You called as you turned the corner into a long hallway, towards your room.

You didn’t speak to Husker for a while after that, or go to the bar. Instead, you worked and kept to yourself in your room. It wasn’t until you walked into the lobby one early morning, did you see the feline.

He was standing with the rest of the crew, concern etched across their faces as they circled around a mumbling, erratic Charlie Morningstar. 

“Why isn’t the hotel working?!” You could hear her fume, as she fussed over a large tack board filled with drawings and pictures. 

It wasn’t until about a half an hour later, when Charlie had hung up the phone with her father, did you realize the day was going to get much stranger.

“Alright, guys! My dad is going to be here in one hour, so we have to make this place perfect!” She said, a nervous smile on her lips as she addressed the small crowd.

Everyone tensed, their eyes darting to each other at her words.

Charlie’s dad was coming? Lucifer Morningstar? The King of Hell?!

Suddenly, the room bursted into action. Sir. Pentious slithered to the kitchen, claiming he needed to bake sweets for Lucifer’s arrival. Charlie was practically hyperventilating as Vaggie rubbed her shoulder soothingly. 

“Aw man, I gotta go put on my new perfume!” Angel Dust yelled from the chaos, as he sped away towards his room. Husk continued wiping down the bar countertop, but a little more feverishly now. 

Alastor was the only one seemingly unchanged by the news of the king’s arrival. He only stood there grinning, as the others rushed around him, before beginning to push back his cuticles.

“I’m just going to go… put on some better clothes.” You called, unsure if anyone was even listening as they scrambled about. 

You quickly left the lobby, running to your room to clean yourself up and look presentable. Your mind raced as you did so, recalling all the rumors and gossip you’ve heard over the years.

Was he a cruel king? He couldn’t be, not with how Charlie turned out. But, with her reaction to asking for his help… that was strange. She had never spoken of him before, so it didn’t seem like they were that close.

What was he going to think of you? You’ve never stood before such an important figure, other than Charlie, but that was wayyy different than speaking to the most powerful man in the realm.

You’d just have to make him like you, to avoid any trouble. You needed to charm the King of Hell, just like you’ve done successfully with so many others.

You adjusted your appearance in the mirror, before nodding your head in self-approval. You crossed your room, pulling open the door, and making your way down the stairs. 

When you returned to the lobby, everyone was making last minute preparations. 

Sir. Pentious was busy tidying the cookies on the cooking sheet in front of him. Angel Dust was finishing hanging up the balloons around the room, while Charlie was hyping herself up in the corner.

A large banner with a handwritten message ‘It’s A Boy!’ hung from the ceiling, and you shook your head in embarrassment with a smile.

When you had made it back to the group, there was barely any time to talk before you heard a knock at the front door.

Everyone froze, and Charlie exhaled a large breath of nerves, before crossing the distance towards the door. She pulled it open, and a white hat poked from over her shoulder.

“Charlie!” 

You heard him before you saw him, and he sounded like a burst of sunshine as you watched Charlie get pulled into his bear hug.

She sputtered against his tight grip, before he finally released her. You could see the wide brim hat poking out of her figure, see that silly apple that stuck out from the top of his cane, as they talked for a few more moments.

It wasn’t until Charlie turned to face you and the rest of the crew, did you see Lucifer Morningstar’s face. Your breath hitched, eyes widening as you drank in his figure.

Fuck. He was gorgeous. 

He definitely presented himself like a king, with how he stood with his back straight and head held high. He rested slightly against his cane, his interest piqued at the new faces.

As his gaze swept across the lobby, it briefly landed on you, and your heart fluttered in your chest. God, his eyes were so pretty. They were a soft, muted yellow, like buttercream. 

They held many emotions too, you could see it. There was deep sadness that never left his gaze, as if it followed him like a shadow. It was something you felt followed you too. What was his story? 

Your eyes traced the rest of his appearance, landing next on the golden strands nestled under his hat.

That platinum-blonde hair practically glowed underneath the chandelier lighting, as it curled delicately around his face. It looked so smooth and silky, like the guy had a 10-step hair care routine. It probably smelled amazing too. 

And, those cute little rosy cheek spots on the sides of his mouth, that stood out from his pale skin. If you tilted your head just right, you’d say he looked just like a cockatiel.

But, it was his smile that enraptured you. Not the fake one, that wide, awkward mess across his lips he did as a way to appeal to Charlie.

No, it was instead that warm, genuine grin that lit up his entire face, crinkling the corners of his eyes in a way that made you feel like you were the only person in the room. The smile that only appeared during tender moments, like when his daughter rubbed her cheek against his affectionately. 

You hoped he would start to smile like that more often. 

Charlie had approached your group, introducing Lucifer slowly through your companions. Your heartbeat quickened as they made their way closer to you. 

Taking a deep breath, you clasped your hands together, smiling warmingly at the duo approaching. Charlie stopped, turning to her father as she began to introduce you.

“And thisss is our receptionist! They’re in charge of handling most of our inbound and outbound affairs, and in helping us capture potential residents too!” 

“And I'm doing a fantastic job at that, by the way.” You declared to the two, that smile of yours widening as you edged closer to them. You lifted your arm, extending a hand towards the fallen angel.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Your Highness.” 

God, could this dude get any more perfect? The closer he got, the warmer you felt your body temperature become, like he was practically the sun itself.

He regarded it for a moment, before hesitantly taking your grip. His hands were soft, but firm. The gold band on his pinkie grazed across your finger, it was cool to the touch, giving you much needed relief to the growing intensity of the heat of his grasp.

His eyes traveled up yours once more, to your eyes as they flickered between your batting lashes, and to your pretty smile that only grew wider as you leaned forward.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He spoke softly with a grin, as he looked you over. His voice was like silk, and you wanted to wrap it around yourself like a sheet. 

A stark difference to Alastor’s, who gave you a headache listening to that static overlay every time the guy opened his mouth.

“This is your first time here, right?”

“Yes, I'm just here to give my daughter the support she needs for her little project.” Lucifer nodded, glancing over to Charlie as he spoke.

“Well, I hope your opinion of the hotel has improved now that you’ve seen it in person.” 

“Oh, believe me, it has.” He assured, that nervous grin disappearing from his face, and you could see a playful smirk slowly blooming on his lips.

That was before his eyes landed on the bar at the other end of the room, his hand left yours as he turned to face it. You pulled your arm back, clenching your hand as his warmth faded from your skin.

“What in the unholy Hell is that?”

You stood up straight, as he walked closer to the bar. Only for Alastor to appear right behind him, a deadly grin on his lips as he strutted forward.

“Just some renovations we’ve had done, adds a little bit of color! Don’t you think?”

You sighed, your lips twisting into a slight frown as you watched the tension in the room escalate with every word Lucifer and Alastor exchanged. It wasn't until Charlie sidled up beside her father, that the drama got good.

“I guess that’s why they call it the Has-Been Hotel, eh?” Lucifer grinned, nudging Charlie with his elbow.

You snorted, your hand coming up to cusp your mouth at the sudden outburst. His dad joke was just so hilariously stupid—not to mention, it was pointed at Alastor, which was bonus points—you couldn’t contain the noise you made.

All eyes turned to you, and you felt sweat beading at your forehead from all the sudden attention.

Alastor still had that large toothy grin, but his eyes were squinted in a glare as his head snapped uneasily towards you. 

It was Lucifer’s gaze that captured your attention, though. He turned in surprise, as if shocked someone actually laughed at his joke. It wasn’t until he saw that the person that laughed was you, did he seem to slightly puff out his chest, a prideful grin dancing on his lips.

Heat flooded your cheeks as he sent you a mischievous wink, before his attention turned back to Alastor as the demon laughed2.

“Yes, Ha-Ha. It was actually my idea, though.” 

“Ha-Ha, well, it’s not very clever!” 

“A-Ha! Fuck you.”

You had stood to the side, as the two demons bickered and fought for Charlie’s attention. The insecurities of both became increasingly obvious to you as time went on.

Alastor, with his uneasiness that someone of much higher stature and power could take his role in the hotel. And, Lucifer, who’s relationship with his daughter was sour enough that the idea of someone replacing his role as a father caused him to short circuit.

Then, when a short, rotund woman bursted through the front doors, dressed like a flapper and fawning over Alastor, you realized even more how today was looking to be a really strange day.

Mimzy, an old friend of Alastor’s from when they were both swinging through the 20’s and 30’s back on Earth. 

You didn’t know her very well, other than she never stopped talking, and in your opinion, had an ego bigger than Alastor’s. But, you’ve been around long enough to know that whenever she came around, it was only to beg Alastor for help when she fucked up.

Your opinion of her only worsened when the wall a few feet away from you blew open less than ten minutes later. 

The chaos that ensued was even worse, as bullets began ripping through the walls of the hotel. Loan Sharks, snarling Mimzy’s name with venom, threw another explosive towards the building. 

When Alastor had suddenly arrived, shifting into his demonic form, you breathed a sigh of relief as he began to decimate the little army outside.

One of them was falling right above your head, and you tried to scramble away. 

Before it could turn you into a stain on the carpet, it suddenly jerked away, smashing into the closest wall instead. Gold sparks faded from around its wooden frame, and you turned your head to see Lucifer at the other end of the room with Charlie, his eyes trailing your form as you beelined for the opposite wall.

Another explosion rocked the lobby again, and you stumbled on your feet. A table skidded quickly across the floor, heading right for you.

The adrenaline pumping through your veins sent your body into overdrive, and you swiftly lean down, lowering your hands to meet the floor. With a powerful push, you launch yourself into a graceful somersault, your body arching elegantly over the crashing obstacle. Time seems to stretch as you execute the maneuver with precision, feeling the rush of wind against your skin as you spin through the air. Your back barely grazing the table’s surface before you landed into a roll. 

You shoot up from the ground, heart racing, a dumbstruck smile blooming across your lips at the realization you were still in one piece.

You were too preoccupied with Sir. Pentious barreling into your side; that you missed the pale face mirroring your  expression, as he watched you clear the table. 

By the time you untangled yourself from the snake demon, the dust had begun to settle in the room. Alastor had killed—or eaten—most of the Loan Sharks, and was now standing on the front lawn, cleaning bits of meat from underneath his nails.

Husk lifted his head slowly from behind the bar, eyes scanning the perimeter for danger. Mimzy crawled out from under the bar stools, before scurrying outside to speak with Alastor.

“Jesus, is everyone okay?” Angel Dust called, while Charlie was helping dust off stray pieces of rubble from Vaggie’s hair.

“HELPPPP!” Came the loud, mousy squeal from above your head. Eyes lifting to the ceiling, you see Niffty clutching a support beam with her life.

“Niffty? How the fuck did’ya get up there?!” Angel Dust yelled back, arms thrown in the air in exasperation.

It had partially dislodged from the ceiling, hanging loosely by one end. Niffty poked her head out from the side, her large eye darting across the room, as she waited for someone to come to her aid.

Your gaze traveled down from the support beam, your eyes landing on a water pipe, broken and sticking out from a large crack in the wall. It hung just perfectly in between you and Niffty, which would allow you to reach her quickly.

If you could just get a boost… aha! Your gaze lands on the partially torn couch that was scooted a few feet across the room from the explosions. If you leapt off its back, you could swing from the broken water pipe and use it to catapult yourself right next to Niffty. 

Lucifer analyzed the ceiling before turning to his daughter, smirking as he slowly lifted his cane.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got thi-“ 

“Hang on, Niff! I’m coming!” Your voice rang through the room, your footsteps echoing as you ran towards the damaged furniture. 

Taking a large leap, your feet hit the backrest of the couch. The muscles in your legs tense as you lower yourself slightly to vault forward and up, your arms shooting above your head as you close in on the pole.

Your fingers wrap around its chilling, metal surface; and with your palms snug against its frame, you swing forward, arching your body so your feet begin to lift above your head. 

You release the pole, your legs high in the air as you lift yourself up. You feel the wooden beam graze to the back of your knee pit, and you curl your legs around its base, hanging upside down.

Tensing all the muscles in your abdomen, you use the momentum to swing your legs around the beam and your butt hits the top of its base. You blink, your heart pounding in your chest as you exhale a sigh of relief.

Damn, that felt good. This was so much better than rotting at a desk all day, you really missed your old job. 

Niffty shot up next to you, wrapping her little arms around your forearm in glee.

“You came to rescue me, you’re my hero!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just hang on, little lady.” 

You pulled her close, before getting to your feet. You lean over the edge, the only thing catching your eyes that you could use was that water pipe.

Okay, you’ve done a bit of parkour before. Piece of cake. 

You knelt slightly, before leaping from the beam. You stuck on foot out in front of you, and you felt your sole hit the top of the pipe. It was like taking a large step, as you swung your other leg forward and launched yourself with the other. 

Curling your legs, you practically cannonball into the couch. The large, plush cushions swallowed you for a moment, before spitting you back onto your feet in front of it.  

“Holy shit, ya didn’t die!” Angel Dust exhaled a sigh of relief, walking up to you. Niffty fussed in your hold, and you gently lowered her to the ground.

Niffty ran to Angel, who kneeled down to fuss over her for any injuries. You turned from the duo, before you caught sight of another figure coming forward.

“You’re an acrobat, aren’t you?” Lucifer said, a hint of astonishment in his tone as he strolled up to you, his eyes gleaming with interest.

“Yes, well, mostly. But I can do a lot of other things too.” You nodded, smiling bashfully at his facial expression.

“Wow! I mean, heh—boy, I haven’t seen anyone do that perfect of a maneuver in a long time. You looked like a ballerina up there with how strict your form was when you were swinging.”

Did Lucifer just.. compliment you? He knew about aerobics enough to make that kind of judgment on you? Man, this guy just kept getting better and better.

It should have been obvious, though. His silly red-and-white attire had struck you as familiar when you first saw him, and now you realized it was similar to the getup of a Ringmaster.

“Thank you, I've been practicing since I was young. I’ve even done a few circus acts before, and it’s always such a thrill. I'd do it over and over again without getting tired.”

“I think that’s called being an adrenaline junkie.” Lucifer teased, a playful smile on his lips. “But, really, that was good. Impressive, even.”

“Not as impressive as saving me from getting crushed by the ceiling.” 

Lucifer’s eyes widened just a tad, and he nervously adjusted his long collar, his smile turning bashful now.

“Oh, you.. you saw that?”

You nodded, “Yes, I did. Thank you. Also, your magic is just so pretty, they’re like little golden fireworks!”

Before Lucifer could speak, you leaned in closer to him. Your ear just barely grazing the brim of his hat as you smiled.

“And, I just wanted to let you know, I agree with you about the hotel name,” you inched closer to his face, your voice lowering as you spoke with a honeyed tone, “I have no doubt you would come up with a better name, Your Highness.” 

Lucifer tensed, and you thought you could see those red spots on his cheek darkening just a shade. 

He lowered his head slightly after that, his face mostly obscured by the brim of his hat. You couldn’t see what he was doing, but, was that an edge of a smile on his lips?

After a second, Lucifer cleared his throat, before lifting his head again.

“I’m glad we share the same appreciation for aesthetics. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you.” 

“Hey, Dad? Can I, um, speak to you? About the hotel?” Charlie spoke, approaching. A firm look on her face, as if it was rather important.

“Of course, I’ll be right there,” Lucifer nodded, before turning back to you, “Again, a pleasure to meet you. I hope we get to talk again.” 

Then, he did something you never expected, he curtsied. Your eyes widened, the King, showing you such a gesture of respect? All for what, doing a few tricks in the air?

Heat creeped onto your cheeks after that, and you watched him turn away, following after his daughter. Leaving you to stew about your encounter with Lucifer for the rest of the day.

Well, your thoughts on the King of Hell definitely stayed when you awoke the next morning, and the morning after that. 

Your thoughts were still there in that lobby as you sat at your desk one afternoon, your hands organizing a large stack of papers. They had a picture of the Hazbin Hotel on them, along with words that basically screamed ‘Come check us out!’

The plan was to distribute the posters around the city.  Buildings, poles, doorways, anything that could hold a staple was your target. 

You were fiddling around in your drawer, searching for extra staples when you heard it. A gentle rapping against the front doors, which made you lift your head.

There was no one else in the lobby, not even Husk. Slowly, you walked towards the doors, and the silhouette of a hat stuck out from the bottom of the stained glass.

Is that..?

Reaching to the handle, you pull it open, and met the familiar soft, yellow gaze. His lips curved into a smile at your appearance, and he lifted his hand in greeting.

“Oh! Hello, again!” 

Fuck, he was still gorgeous. Definitely an Angel, no doubt about that. His pearlescent skin practically glittered in the red hues of the afternoon light behind him, and you averted your gaze for a moment, trying not to be blinded by his ethereal beauty.

“Your highness? I’m—ahem, well, sorry. I’m just surprised to see you back so soon. What are you doing here?”

“I'm here to see Charlie, of course!” He exclaimed, strolling right past you into the lobby. His eyes scanned the room, resting for a moment disapprovingly on the bar, before landing on the large desk. 

“Is this where you work?” He motioned towards its wooden frame, you sidled up to him, before nodding.

“Yep. Hardly move from there during the day.”

“You sit there all day? Yeesh, that’s terrible.” 

“Mhm. Pretty boring, actually.”

“Well, if you ever want a better career, I’m sure I could find you a job at LuLu World, I’ve got a circus that runs year round there.”

LuLu World? The theme park he owned? You had never been there before, but it always sounded amazing. And, he thought you’d be a great fit there too. He couldn’t have been that impressed by a few of your maneuvers. Maybe, he just needed to go to an actual circus and see the real performers.

“I’d love to, but I'm kind of stuck here.”

“Why?” Lucifer turned to you, an eyebrow raised. 

“Well, um—” 

‘My soul is owned by the demon you have beef with, and I can’t exactly leave without his permission. I also can’t tell you this because I apparently signed an NDA too.’

“—I just want to help people! So, I made a promise that I wouldn’t leave until I made a difference. Y’know, really make an effort to improve this wonderful community!” You responded with fake cheer, clasping your hands together.

Lucifer regarded you for a moment, his fingers fidgeting against the apple on his cane as he thought.

“Oh.. well, that’s generous of you. But, someone with your skill set doesn’t deserve to rot away in a place like this, I’m sure you’d make a difference somewhere more relevant.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me, Your Highness?” You teased, your nails grazing against the desk as you walked past him, before pivoting to face him.

“What? No! Of course not, just—forget I said anything.”  He chuckled nervously, before fussing with his long collar. He seemed to do that often when

Aw, he got all flustered when he thought you were serious. Who knew the embodiment of Pride had such bad self esteem.

“Charlie went out to run some errands, but she should be on her way back, actually. Can I get you anything to drink while you wait?”

“Chamomile Tea, if you have it?”

You nodded, before walking towards the small counter behind your desk. There was a coffee machine, a toaster, and a large, electric kettle. You placed the kettle underneath the small sink, filling it up, before switching it on and setting it down. 

It would take a little time for the water to heat, so you returned to where your visitor awaited.

Lucifer leaned against your desk slightly, his fingers mindlessly tapping at his cane, his eyes staring at the wall. There he goes again, lost in his thoughts. Which he seemed to do quite often.

Would it be rude to wake him from his stupor? You had only just met him, so maybe, don’t push your luck.

You turned your attention back onto the stack of posters, flicking through each one as you counted. You heard Lucifer shuffle beside you, before clearing his throat. 

“What are you doing?”

“Posters for the hotel. I’m going to put them up around the city later today.” You held one out to him, and he took it from your grasp. His fingers grazed yours, and you could feel the warmth seeping into your skin from just that small touch.

When he pulled his hand away, that warmth left you, and you felt that never-ending chill seep back into your bones again. It was something that followed you since you made that deal with Alastor. As if your soul was the sun, and you just got shoved down a long, dark well. 

You could only claw at the edges for so long, letting the blood from your nails drip into the standing water at your feet, before you gave up trying. You’ve been sitting in that well for a long time, allowing time to pass by.

But, for some reason, since you arrived at the hotel, you’ve begun to start digging at the cracks of that well again. Maybe, if you got your claws in deep enough, you’d find that beam of sunlight.

“Hm, the drawings seems.. a little off. Did you do this?” Lucifer dragged you out of your thoughts, as he looked at you expectantly. 

Shaking your head, you chuckled softly. “No, unfortunately, stick figures are my only language in the arts. I think Charlie drew it.”

“Did I say this drawing was off? I lied! Ha-ha, yeah, this is great work.” Lucifer quickly replied, brushing off his earlier comment.

You were going to open your mouth to respond, before you heard the loud whistling of the kettle. You turned, watching the steam pour out of its lid, and quickly ran to fetch it.

You pulled a small tea cup from its stand on the edge of the counter, before filling it full with the water from the kettle.

Reaching towards a small cupboard, your fingers sorted through the different herbal flavors as you looked for one in particular. When your eyes finally caught the light green packaging, you pulled it out.

“Hey, this might seem like an odd question, but do you like caramel?” Lucifer asked from behind you. You turned your head slightly, taking a glance at him. His nails clicked against his cane, fast and nervous as he waited.

“Yes, I do. It’s not my favorite sweet treat, but I've definitely indulged in it a few times.”

Taking a few moments as you spoke, you ripped open the package. Holding the small string in between your thumb and your index finger, you carefully placed the tea bag into the steaming water. 

“Great! I was wondering, well, I mean—you see, I made some caramel apples for Charlie. Except, she hasn’t had one of mine since she was a girl, so I just wanted someone to take a test bite before I presented it to heel

Slowly, you could see the color begin to change as the herbal goodness was dispersed in the cup. You turned to him slowly, eyebrows raised as you regarded him.

“You want me to.. try one of your apples?”

“Yes! That would be great, just to know I still got the gourmet chef in me.” He smiled, lifting up a finger right above his lips, and swirling it in the air. As if twirling a long mustache.

“Your tea, Your Majesty.” You chuckled, bending your head slightly, placing it down on the desk in front of him. When you lifted your head, you were greeted with the sight of a large, light-brown coated apple. 

“It’s not poisoned I promise.” He teased, a lopsided grin on his face as he held the treat out to you, his fingers clasped around the kabob-like stick poking out of the bottom.

Carefully, you lifted your arm, plucking the caramel apple away from his grip. When you had it between your fingers, Lucifer reached down to take the tea cup from the desk, before swirling the mix around slightly. He blew at its surface, and the liquid rippled as steam still rose from it.

He gingerly lifted it to his lips, his pinky lifting away from the handle as he did so. His eyes softened as the herbal flavoring hit his tongue, and his body seemed to relax as warmth bloomed under his skin and the drink traveled down his throat.

‘He drinks with his pinky out? That’s so cute.’ You gushed silently, never did you think the King of Hell would practice such mannerisms. But, in all honesty, he didn’t seem like he should be in Hell at all. Guess that’s what happens, when the highest powers known to man punish you for being you.

His eyes never left you as he drank, as he waited for you to take a bite. You turned the treat in your grip, inspecting it a final time. Carefully, you lifted it to your face, and took a bite of its side.

Lucifer seemed to grimace as your mouth closed against the large chunk of apple. You chewed for a moment, letting your taste buds do the work. Then, your brain short-circuited at the sensations, and your eyes lit up.

“Woa-hu-ho! This is fantastic!” You beamed, and Lucifer’s eyes widened in a look of surprise.

“Really..?”

“Yes! It’s actually really good! I think Charlie is going to love it!” You nodded briskly, taking another bite of delicacy.

“Ha, well. Guess I still got it in me after all this time.” He boasted, chest puffing just slightly at your compliments.

You obliterated that apple in front of him, taking barely a moment to breathe as you scarfed it down. God, his cooking was actually really good. What else could he make?

Lucifer only watched you, a faint smile on his lips as he watched you devour the treat. As if he was fascinated by your sudden primal hunger. 

Your eyes met his and you stopped suddenly, covering your mouth as you continued to chew. Heat flooding your cheeks in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty, this is pretty rude of me..”

“No! Not at all, if I had more I'd surely give it to you,” he laughed, setting his almost-empty drink back onto the desk, “and please, call me Lucifer. There’s no need to use such titles in a private setting like this.”

Right as he spoke, the front entrance doors burst open, and Charlie and Vaggie strolled in chattering loudly. They held a few shopping bags in their hands, as they entered the lobby.

Right, so much for privacy. Couldn’t you get five more minutes with the #1 bachelor in the realm?

“Oh, Dad!” Charlie exclaimed, surprise etched on her face at seeing Lucifer standing beside you.

“Charlie!” He beamed, strolling over to her. He encompassed her into another of his signature bear hugs, and she sputtered for breath in his hold.

“Wha—gasp—what are you doing here?”

“I just came by to visit, also to take another peek at some renovations that really need to be done. Among other things.”

“Oh, okay! Let me drop this stuff off by Angel Dust, and we can do that.” Charlie smiled at her father, before turning and crossing the room to another hallway.

Lucifer watched her leave, before turning to you, his eyebrows raised as he spoke, “I assume you’ll still be sitting here the next time I stop by?” 

He wanted to see you again? Your brain couldn’t process that thought when the words left his lips.

“As always.” You smiled warmly at him, as you cleaned up the now-empty cup from the desk. You didn’t say ‘Your Majesty’ this time, but you weren’t sure whether calling your king by his real name was appropriate. At least, not yet.

“Good.” He nodded approvingly, before his back faced you and he walked out of the lobby. Your gaze lingered on the corner he had turned out of view from, before you sighed and returned to work. 

You didn’t notice those sickly red eyes watching you intensely from the shaded corner of the room, as you took a seat back at your desk. 

Days like that continued, where you’d be greeted by the soft knocking against the entrance door. And, when you opened it, you’d meet the handsome, smiling face of Lucifer.

“Good morning, I hope you’re hungry!” He’d state as he strolled past you, always stopping right next to your desk first when he came.

You made sure to save your stomach for the delicacy he always carried with him now. Usually, he’d bring two, one for Charlie, and one for you. 

“I need to make sure she’ll like this one too.” He had explained. You were apparently his official taste tester now, but you never complained.

He’d hold the treat out to you, one eyebrow raised playfully, as he presented the caramel apple like a rose.

“Now with sprinkles!” He’d exclaim as you’d gingerly take it from his grip, your fingers brushing against his. The warmth a welcome feeling to your skin.

You’d sit there, feasting on the apple in your seat as he leaned against the desk. He was very chatty, even when he still held reservations around people in general. It never bothered you, of course. It stopped you from getting so bored while you worked.

“Don’t even get me started on Mammon,” Lucifer groaned, as you told him about your most recent circus acts, “the guy will do anything to put more money in his pocket. Y’know, he thinks we’re best buddies or something, thinks that lets him plagiarize my amusement park.”

“Why don’t you tell him to shut it down?”

“Because it brings in more business,” Lucifer had shrugged, “People go there, expecting a good show, and don’t find one. So, they go to my LuLu World, and bam, they never want to leave!”

You chuckled at the name, ‘LuLu’. Yep, you were definitely speaking to the Sin of Pride, alright.

“What’s so funny?” He had asked, curious at your reaction. You straightened yourself, a lop-sided smile on your lips when you realized he caught your laugh.

“Nothing it’s just.. ‘LuLu World’? There had to be something better you could have called it.”

Lucifer gasped, placing a hand on his heart, feigning hurt. “Woah, woah. First, you say I'm good with names, and now you’re laughing at them? Dirty.” 

“Oh, I'm so sorry. Please, good sir, don’t smite me!” You mocked a pain expression, clasping your hands together in a gesture of begging.

“I will allow you to live for now. Can’t have the hotel going into shambles because you’re not here to keep it running.” Lucifer’s voice deepened as he fixed his posture into a much more royal stance. As if he was speaking to a lowly squire in court.

‘I barely do anything around here, but thanks for the confidence boost.’ you’d answer silently, as you leaned back in your chair, watching his antics with amusement.

You began to anticipate his arrival with excitement. Even pouring his tea beforehand, so when he walked through those doors, you’d place a steaming cup into his palms. You always enjoyed the way his eyes softened when he took his first sip.

Hell, you enjoyed.. everything about him. His smile, his jokes, the care he had for his daughter, even if he had a hard time showing it. He made you smile, which was something you haven’t done willingly in a long time. 

And, his smile? That real, true look of happiness that blossomed on his face? That slowly began to return as well. 

For a few months, everything was dandy. Until, one evening, when Alastor summoned you to his room.

He never did that, and that made you nervous.

You stood at the closed door to his room, your heart pounding in your chest. What did he want? Did you do something wrong? Your thoughts just couldn’t still as you fidgeted nervously.

Slowly, you lifted your knuckles to the door. Before you could even graze the wooden surface, the door swung open. It creaked loudly as it did so, and your breath hitched as you began to glimpse inside.

You poked your head in, your eyes scanning across the room. The decorations were so outdated, it almost made you gag. Skeletons of an alligator hung on the wall, its eyes glowing from the string of lights wrapped around its figure.

A large shelf of books, mostly for cooking, stood out against a small wooden table. A small radio sat snug on the desk, playing a gentle jazz tune. On the opposite side of the room, was where that freaky abyss lay. You had never stepped foot there, the part of the room that simply seemed to dissolve into a dark, swampy land. 

Then, you heard humming. Staticy, soft humming, coming from the left side of the room.

Alastor stood over a bloody cutting board, a large kitchen knife in his hand. He wore an apron that was spattered with blood, his usual overcoat was gone, replaced by a dark red tuxedo underneath and a—surprisingly—clean white dress shirt.

He hummed along in sync with the music wafting from the speaker, as he continued to slice along the large slab of meat on the counter. You couldn’t dare think what the flesh used to be as you slipped through the crack, shutting the door softly behind you.

It didn’t seem like he knew you were standing there awkwardly by the door, but you knew he did. How long was he going to have you wait?

Clearing your throat, you spoke softly, “you wanted to see me, Alastor?”

“Ah, hello there, my friend!” He pivoted sharply, his tone chipper as he smiled at you. The knife was still in his grip, and he swirled it in the air playfully. “How are you doing on this fine, hellish evening?”

“Fine..”

“Wonderful! I called you here today because there is something I’ve wanted to discuss with you for some time. You see, I've taken notice that you and our ever-so charming King of Hell have been growing closer these past few months.”

This is what he wanted to talk about? You fought to not roll your eyes at that. 

“Let me guess, you want me to stop talking to him?”

Alastor giggled at that, a maniacal fit of he-he’s as he forcefully stabbed the knife into the slab of flesh. It stuck out like a grim warning, as he brushed his hands against his apron before removing it entirely. 

“On the contrary,” he spoke as he hung the apron against a dining chair, “I want you to get closer to him.”

You blinked, leaning your head back slightly as you processed his words.

“Wait, what?”

Alastor nodded, confirming that you didn’t just hallucinate that. He slowly walked forward, before placing a hand on your shoulder as he moved behind you.

“You see, I believe it’s in both our best interests to forge a deeper connection with our illustrious King. There are certain… opportunities that may arise from such a relationship.”

“Opportunities? What kind of opportunities are we talking about here?”

“Ah, now that would be telling, wouldn’t it? Let’s just say that there are benefits to being in the King’s inner circle. Power, influence, the chance to shape Hell itself… But I’ve said too much already. Just trust me on this one, my dear.”

Trust Alastor? Ha! That was the first joke he’s ever spoken to you that was actually funny. 

Your thoughts raced as he appeared on your other side, his claw grazing across the back of your neck as he rested his hand on your shoulder once more. 

He wanted you to what, fake your attraction to Lucifer? Wanted you to lie and manipulate him so he’d bend to your will, and carry out Alastor’s evil deeds in the guise of caring for you?

“What makes you think he’d even fall for that? He’s an angel, he’s not stupid.”

Alastor chuckled, patting your shoulder as his grin widened. “Haven’t you noticed the change in his demeanor? The little.. pep in his step? Ever since he met you that first day, he’s only grown more attached to you.”

Was that true? Sure, Lucifer seemed to be getting better, slowly. Seemed to smile more genuine as time went on. But, that couldn’t be because of you! He was reconnecting with his daughter, of course he’d be happier at the hotel.

It didn't matter, in the end. You weren’t going to do that to Lucifer. You weren’t going to ruin the one relationship that was built by trust. The question is, could you resist Alastor?

“What if I don’t want to?” You finally ground out, your firsts clenching at your sides.

Suddenly, you felt a chill around your neck, and you gasped at the sensation. You lifted one hand up, to try and feel whatever was clenching at your throat.

Your fingers wrapped around a green, metal collar that seemed to tighten as the seconds ticked by. Energy sizzled against your fingertips, like static. Eyes widening, you ripped your hand away, your feet moving on instinct to get away from him.

Your back hit the wall roughly, your heart practically beating out of your chest as you watched Alastor slowly stalk towards you. His eyes began to shift, resembling that of radio dials. Those small antlers on his head began to rapidly branch out, growing longer every step he took.

“What if you don’t want to? My, what a foolish question.”

He was just inches from your face, that toothy smile practically ear to ear as he leaned in. Lifting a hand, his claws grazed your collar bone, before traveling up towards the glowing green clasp.

A single claw hooked underneath the metal surface, pushing roughly against your throat as he tugged you harshly forward by it. 

His breath hit your face, and you scrunch your nose from the foul odor. He reeked of death.

“It seems you have forgotten who owns your soul, my dear.” He whispered in your ear. You squeezed your eyes shut, your lip quivering as he spoke.

“If you try to resist, try to fight against your chains. I’ll make sure my radio broadcast is filled with nothing but your dying screams.”

Tears pricked at your eyes, the collar only becoming colder as you writhed slightly against his touch.

“I-I’m sorr-“

“You sold your soul to me, don’t forget. If there is anyone to blame for your misfortune, it is you alone.” Alastor hissed, thrusting you even closer to him by your collar. You felt his smile crease brush against your skin, and you shivered.

You were becoming increasingly aware how sickly-yellow his teeth were, compared to Lucifer’s. Disgust began to boil in your belly as you opened your mouth.

“I’ll do it!” You whimpered, your heart pounding, “I’ll do it..”

“Wonderful.” He drawled, before leaning away from you. His claw released your collar, and it dissolved in green fog. You coughed, rubbing your neck, as Alastor took your shoulder and roughly nudged you to the door. 

It opened on its own, and you were pushed through the threshold. 

“I’m glad we could have this little chat,” Alastor’s chipper tone returned, as you stared at him with disgust, “Have a hellish rest of your day, my friend!”

The door slammed shut as he disappeared back into his room. Leaving a rush of angry tears to pool at your feet alone.

Two weeks had passed, since Alastor told you to tug the heartstrings of the King of Hell, to play him right into your fraud-loving palms. Oh, the universe must surely hate you.

You had begun to avoid Lucifer, though. Whenever he was around, catching you at work, you’d continue your silly little chats. You began to memorize the timeframe he’d show up to the hotel, and make some kind of excuse to not be there when he knocked. Either you were out shopping for supplies, or seeing the latest movie. Anything you could think of, you’d leave and force Husker to greet Lucifer.

The guilt of knowing what would happen if Lucifer fell in love with you? It ate you up inside. You hardly slept lately, tossing and turning with terrible nightmares of drowning in that cold, dark, bottomless well. The chains tied to your feet, preventing your escape to the surface.

Would anyone care if you just let yourself sink to the bottom? 

Those thoughts were still on your mind as you did your morning jumping jacks.

You had asked Charlie to use one of her empty storage rooms as a place to practice your acrobatics, which you had started doing every night now. It was any easy escape from your troubles, on the farthest side of the hotel from the lobby, where no one could bother you.

It was a large room, with ceiling-high windows that lit the room with a light red hue. You had convinced Alastor to give you a makeshift gym as a part of your “deal”. If you were going to be forced to be the bad guy, he could at least give you a place to kick ass.

There were multiple gymnastic bars set up at different heights, two balance beams, and a small-scale tightrope. The tightrope was a thick wire connected between two poles across one side of the room, roughly the size of your torso. There was a platform attached to each pole, allowing good foot room on each side of the wire.

Tonight, you were practicing walking on your hands across the balance beam. Sweat dripped from your forehead, and you watched it land onto the leathery cover of the beam beneath you. 

You had made it halfway across, when you heard the door to the room open softly. 

“I didn’t even know there were rooms back here!” An astonished, familiar voice came from the doorway. 

What was Lucifer doing here?!

Your brain short-circuited, and your arms began to wobble beneath you. You lost your balance, and  immediately tumbled off the balance beam with a breathless “Fuck!”

Your side hit the mats below, pain bloomed from your shoulder as you lay there in defeat. You heard a high pitched yelp from behind you, and the sounds of feet pattering against the floor neared.

“You’re not dead, are you?” Lucifer laughed nervously as he kneeled beside you. He reached a hand down to your face, before he hesitated, and instead lifted his cane.

You felt soft poking against your cheek, as he prodded you with the black stick. 

“Stop that.” You grumbled into the mat, stirring slightly from the floor.

“Oh, you’re not dead! What a relief.” He said, exhaling a breath he had been holding. “I’m terribly sorry about that! I didn’t mean to scare you.”

You groaned, before lifting yourself up from the mat. You got to your feet, rubbing your shoulder tenderly.

“It’s fine, I’m fine. What are you doing here, though?” 

Lucifer processed your question for a moment, before he suddenly straightened himself up. Head held high, he strutted over to you, before halting. He glanced at you, before he began fussing with his bow-tie nonchalantly.

“Well, I came to find you.” 

“Why?” 

“Because, I wanted to speak with you. And, you’re conveniently always out of the room when I want to do that.”

Shit. Did he notice you were avoiding him? You didn’t think it was that obvious.

Lucifer watched you intensely, analyzing your reaction to his accusatory statement. He had a firm line on his lips, as if your actions didn’t bother him. 

“I’m not avoiding you.” 

“Oh, really?”

“I came here to improve my aerobatics, before you rudely interrupted me.”

“Right, like you need to improve.”

You turned to him, an eyebrow raised. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You’re already good at it, there’s no reason for you to come here every day.”

He turned his head to face you as he spoke, and your eyes caught sight of something wiggling slightly on the top of his head. Is that apple decoration not fully attached to his hat?

Suddenly, you had an idea. A playful smile began to bloom on your lips, as you slowly made your way towards him. 

“Actually, that’s not true. I’m not that good at tightrope walking, I’ve told you that before.”

Right before he turned his head so he could trace your movements, you shot your arm above his hat, your fingers pinching around the small apple stem.

You sharply pivoted, facing him now as you walked backwards towards the tightrope platform. The apple hung behind your back, as you kept his gaze. 

“Buuut, I think I’m much better at it than you.”

“Excuse me?”

You turned to face the platform, moving your arm fluidly and taking the stem between your teeth, before lifting yourself on the white surface. 

Gripping the apple once more, you turn to him slowly, watching his eyes widen as you swing the apple between your fingers for his viewing pleasure.

“Actually, I think I'm better at this whole circus bizz than you. Look! I’m a magician even, would you like to see another trick, Your Majesty?” 

Lucifer stood there in shock, for a few moments. His red pupils darted from the swiped apple to you, before they dilated slightly. Then, he laughed, an audible ‘Ha ha!’ at your words. 

“You think you’re better at the circus than me?” Lucifer asked slowly, a mixture of disbelief and teasing in his tone.

“Without a doubt!” You called, turning to face the wire. Not giving him a second glance, a smug smile formed on your lips.

Lucifer regarded you a moment, before a mischievous grin played on his face. “Well, let’s prove it then.” 

He lifted his cane, before tapping it against the ground twice. Suddenly, you found the platform vibrating underneath your feet. Then, it began to move. You stumbled, and then fell to your knees, gripping the edges as you squeezed your eyes shut.

What the hell was happening?!

The support pole began to rise up, and up, and up, until it barely grazed against the ceiling. Slowly, you opened one eyelid, and then the other. You were still safe, clutching to the platform. The tightrope was still holding, connected to the pole across the room. 

You exhaled a side of relief, before crawling over to the edge. Your eyebrows flew up in surprise as you judged the distance to the ground, you were roughly three stories in the air!

Did.. Lucifer do that? He took “prove it” to a whole new level with this one. 

You got back onto your feet, the apple still in your palm as you placed your other hand against the support beam. Now, where was Lucifer? Did he stick you up here to starve to death?

“Hey.”

You jumped, reeling back from the voice, right towards the edge of the platform.

“Woah—hang on there now!” Lucifer quickly reached out and wrapped his fingers around your wrists, tugging you back to the center of the stand. You blinked, slowing your heart beat, as you stared in surprise.

“Lucifer? How did you get up here?”

“I can fly, remember?” 

That’s right, he did have wings. You just didn’t think he was that fast with them. Lucifer had also completely ditched his hat and overcoat, instead he was in his red and white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up to partially expose his forearms. 

His hair was slightly disheveled, no doubt from the flight up here. It wasn’t as slicked back as before, small strands of hair sticking out messily. You thought that was adorable.

Lucifer looked down, before smiling sheepishly and withdrawing his hand from your wrist. He brushed his fingers down your hand, his nails gently grazing against your palms.

This time, you didn’t feel the cool sensation from his gold ring against your skin, as his pinky lifted from your hand.

“Now, are you going to walk across that wire, or are you going to just give me back my apple?”

You met his eyes, his gaze playful as he smirked at you. He took a step closer, and you took a step back. Slowly, your heel hit the wire, and you halted. 

Lucifer watched you expectantly, waiting for you to make a move. He probably assumed you’d turn around to cross the wire, and he’d nab the apple from behind your back.

Too bad for the King of Hell, you could walk on a tightrope backwards. You winked at him, as your feet moved fully onto the wire. You pivoted slightly every so often, your body fluidly leaning back and forth as you adjusted for balance.

Lucifer watched you, admiration in his eyes as you maneuvered your way down the tightrope. You pulled the apple from behind you, teasing it in front of his view.

“The big question is, how do you think you’re going to best me in those heels, Your Majesty?” 

Lucifer glanced down at his knee-high boots, before slowly peeling them off his feet. He placed them neatly to the side, before moving a foot to the wire.

He began to put his weight onto the tightrope, wobbling a little as he adjusted for balance. He definitely did not do this often, and you laughed softly at his failing posture.

Lucifer huffed, glancing at you, who was still moving a reasonable distance away from him. Then, a smirk played on his lips, and you saw forms begin to appear against his back. 

The red feathers of his wing’s underbelly began to glimmer in the light from the large windows behind you, as he slowly opened them to full length.

Six ethereal, majestic wings flapped gracefully behind him. They began to pivot slightly, adjusting for Lucifer’s balance much quicker and with ease.

“That is so dirty!” You laughed at him, shaking your head disapprovingly.

“Looks like I'm going to getcha!” He teased, as he began to take much more confident steps across the wire; his wings flapping softly, boosting his speed.

You took bigger, riskier steps as you closed in on the other platform. Your heartbeat racing from the challenge, adrenaline beginning to pump in your veins.

“What happens if I eat this apple?” You asked, holding up the apple to your nose, before taking a deep sniff. Licking your lips playfully, you glanced back up to Lucifer.

“A tummy ache, I'm afraid. But, hey, I'll trade you a caramel apple for that one.”

Your stomach grumbled at that, and you genuinely licked your lips at his words.

“I might consider that proposition, if you can catch up to me that is.”

You spun on your heel, facing the base of the pole, as you began to increase your pace.

It wasn’t until you felt the wire jerk under your feet, did you begin to wobble. With a hitched breath, you try to regain your balance, but to no avail.

Your foot slips, and you feel your body beginning to lean off too far to the side. Gasping in surprise, you flail your arms hoping to catch anything in your grip to stop your fall.

Right as you begin to free fall, you feel strong arms snake around yours and grip you firmly. 

“Hang on, I got you!” Lucifer practically spoke in your ear as he pulled you forward, back up onto the wire. You breathe heavily, clutching his forearms tightly as you lean in closer, catching your breath.

Large wings flapping stronger now, Lucifer held you close as you both balanced along the same small portion of the tightrope. You felt his hot breath on your face, and realized how close the two of you actually were.

Your chest was practically against his cute little bow-tie, your legs brushing against each other as you balanced on the tiny surface. The steady wing beats of the fallen angel sent wind softly grazing past your ears, cooling the heat that was beginning to creep onto your cheeks.

He was so close, and so fucking gorgeous. Forget what Alastor wanted to do, what you wanted to do was kiss this man silly. For months, you both danced at the edge of each other's hearts. Gifts of affection, words of compassion, the whole shebang. 

Yet, you’ve never looked the King in the eye and told him ‘I want you.’

Was it because you were stubbornly fighting against Alastor’s demands, that you even ignored your own true feelings? Just to spite the powerful cannibal?

Couldn’t you just look at a sexy man in peace, without anyone else watching your every move?

“Are you alright?” Lucifer asked after a moment, pulling you from your ogling.

“You saved me..” You finally breathed, eyes wide and you met his soft gaze.

“Of course I did, why wouldn’t I—”

Lucifer’s words caught in his mouth as you pressed your lips to his. He froze at the touch initially, but it only took a moment for his entire body to soften against yours. 

His hands found his way to your waist, and he pulled you flush against his body. Your fingers reached up, and you began to caress the sides of his face, twirling a few pieces of hair between your pinkies as you deepened the kiss.

The warmth that bloomed from his touch was intoxicating, your entire being craving for more as you leaned even farther into his embrace. 

His hands moved from your waist, until they brushed underneath your shirt. His palms coming up to cup the small of your back as he pressed you closer to him, as if worried you might dissipate into the air and leave him forever.

It was a good thing he had six wings to keep the two of you afloat, or else you would have been a splatter on the mats by now.

You felt Lucifer's teeth graze against your lip, and you had to fight to not bite his lip back. After a few more moments, you pulled away from his face, your breath coming out ragged as you gave him some distance. 

Lucifer blinked a few times, his eyebrows beginning to raise slowly as a dopey smile danced onto his lips.

“I really enjoyed that, but we should probably get on solid ground, don't you think?” He laughed breathlessly, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he looked at you adoringly.

You reached up, brushing the few loose strands out of his eyes, before nodding. “That is a good idea.” 

“Well, just hang on.” Lucifer replied with a mischievous grin, and you opened your mouth to question him. Before you could get a word out, you felt him begin to lean backwards, pulling you along with him. 

You yelped and squeezed your eyes shut, as you began to free fall on top of him. Lucifer only hugged you closer, before his wings shot open, slowing your descent. 

Carefully, you peeled your eyelids open to the two of you gliding softly down, as Lucifer circled the pole lazily. Your feet swung in the air, and the wind rushed past your ears. The adrenaline rush causing you to laugh in glee as you felt your feet hit a hard surface.

You both stood there in silence for a few moments, the weight of what just transpired finally settling on top of you. 

Holy shit, you just kissed the King of Hell! From trying to stay as far away from him, to getting as close as physically possible. What a twist.

“Well, now that we’re down here,” Lucifer began slowly, his gaze meeting yours with a playful roll of his eyebrows, “we could continue our previous.. discussion.” 

You almost obliged, until you heard the familiar call of Charlie, as she searched for her father. You tensed in his grip, before pulling away from his hold. A pout formed on Lucifer’s lips at the absence of your touch, before he straightened himself. 

Snapping his fingers, that familiar white overcoat magically materialized onto his figure, along with his wide brim hat. Your eyes landed onto that spot where the missing apple usually was, and then you noticed how empty both your hands were.

“Your apple! I think I dropped it when I almost fell.” You explain apologetically.

“Oh, you mean this apple?”

Lucifer pulled the red, gleaming trophy from beneath his overcoat. He threw it in the air a few times, catching it gracefully. A silent boast as he grinned at you. Your mouth only hung agape, as you scanned the apple for any imperfections.

“There is no way you took that from me! How do I know you didn’t just make that?”

“Woah! Sounds like someone is a sore loser.” Lucifer laughed, before turning towards the door, he kept his gaze on yours as he did so, walking backwards as he talked.

Slowly, you kept pace with him, shaking your head in disbelief at his words. He was just as preoccupied as you, sucking on your face, you couldn’t believe he actually took it from you in the chaos.

“At least we settled the little debate, hm? Seems like i’m better at these kinds of things than you. Just like I said.”

“We’ll definitely come back and test that theory with your wings bound this time.”

“Oh, will we? Is that a challenge?”

Lucifer halted at the doorway, and you stopped a few footsteps away. You batted your eyelashes at him, grinning playfully, “it’s a promise, actually.” 

He grinned at that, before he leaned in closer, curiosity gleaming in his eyes.

“So, you haven’t been avoiding me, then?” 

‘Not this again.’ You groaned internally.

“No, I haven’t. I’m sorry, I’ve just got a lot on my mind lately.” You quickly spoke, an apologetic look on your face. Would he buy your lie?

“And you’ll tell me when something is wrong, right?” 

You cracked him an assuring smile, “of course!” You lied through pearly-white teeth. 

Lucifer nodded approvingly at that, before he glanced out of the room. You both could hear Charlie a hallway or two away, and she seemed frantic to find her father. Lucifer only sighed, before turning to you.

“Looks like I’ll be seeing you real soon, Darling.” He promised, bowing his head slightly to you. You wanted to scold him for that, about lowering his head to someone of lower class, if he did that in public no doubt the citizens of Hell would mock him for it.

But, you weren’t in public. You were alone, with someone you cherished, able to whisper all your secrets, hopes, and dreams to someone you trusted most. If only you could tell him the truth, and not be stuck here drowning in your own lies.

Lucifer gave you one final glance, before he turned away, strolling through the hall away from your room. A happy whistle came from his lips, and you could hear it slowly fading as he moved away.

Backing up, you plopped down on a bench on the side of the room. The recent events hit you like a freight train, and you realized how terribly stupid you were.

How were you supposed to protect Lucifer from whatever plan Alastor had in store for him, if you were going to keep disregarding your brain for your weak little heart? 

Yes, Lucifer was the most powerful being in Hell, far more powerful than that red demon. But, he was also a sad, lonely angel. Who craved affection and attention, which he seemed to want solely from you and Charlie. 

If your life were in danger, would he be stupid and risk his own for you? He wouldn’t, he couldn’t. Your filthy, sinning soulless self wasn’t worth the trouble.

You just wish Lucifer would see that. 

For an hour, you paced the perimeter of the room. Your thoughts clear as you evaluated all the metaphorical cards in your hand. If Husk taught you anything about gambling, it was always to call your opponents bluff before he had a chance to do it to you.

Your feet halted suddenly, your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you stared through the large windows. Your thoughts settling as you watched the waning light.

You weren’t some pushover, some scared little child in need of protection. You weren’t going to let some murderous psychopath take any more control of your life. You were going to call the shots this time, even if that meant being dragged by the throat into that well.

As long as everyone you cared about, even Husker, made it out.

There was only one plan of action you saw ahead. And, it was not going to be the easy route.

“I’m done.” 

Alastor halted, the wall sconces in the hallway illuminating his sharp grin as he heard the words leave your lips. It had been four days since you decided you were going to stand against him.

“Pardon?” The words left his lips slowly, his head cracking in-humanely to one side, his ears twisting to face you. 

“I said I’m done deceiving for you. I’m not going to lie to Lucifer, or anyone else, for any longer.”

Alastor didn’t say anything, his back still turned to you. His claws tapped against his microphone, rhythmic and loud as he processed your words.

“Is that so?” 

“Yes, and I don’t care what you have to say about it. There’s more to the world than power, Alastor.”

You felt something cold tugging against your neck, that familiar, sickening sensation returning to your body. You sucked in a large breath, calming your rapid heartbeat. 

Green illuminated your face as you felt something heavy begin to weigh on your body. Alastor held one of his hands out, before flicking his wrist with a painful pop sound. 

The chain snapped forward from the collar around your throat, snaking around your figure as it wove to Alastor’s palm, its green glow casting eerie shadows against the walls. You struggled against its hold, feeling the cold, metallic links digging into your skin. Alastor's laughter echoed through the hallway, a chilling sound that sent shivers down your spine.

"You dare defy me?" Alastor's voice was low, dangerous. "You forget your place, little puppet."

Panic surged through you as you fought against the chain, but it only tightened its hold, squeezing the air from your lungs. You gasped for breath, your vision blurring as darkness threatened to consume you.

"Perhaps a reminder is in order," Alastor said, his tone dripping with malice. "A lesson in obedience."

“Don’t you have any more tricks in the book than this fucking chain?” You growled between gasps, the back of your head sliding against the floor as you twisted against its metal grasp. “C’mon Al, this is just embarrassing.”

Immediately, his face contorted into a look into a large, crooked smile. His eyes shifted to resemble radio dials, as he harshly yanked you towards him. Your cheek slid across the carpet, and you felt the sting of rug burn bloom across your face.

‘Don’t let him see you scared, don’t let him win.’ You begged yourself internally, as you held your tears back. 

Alastor’s face began to change, his features sharpening drastically, that crooked smile growing all the more larger. His antlers branched farther from his head, gnarling together in twisting designs above his ears. 

Even his hair began to stand on end, as he stalked closer to you. Shadows enveloped the hall, like a fog rolling in. Obscuring the sight of your eventual corpse, as Alastor wrapped the chain around his arm, keeping it taut as he closed in.

“The only embarrassment,” He started, his voice flickering into pure static at his rage, “will be how fast it takes for your s̴͔̓̌̍ç̵̯̮͍͆̿r̷̼̥̿̒̊̐e̸͙̣̯͛̽̒a̷͈̼͗ͅm̵̮͑͛͆s̴̻͊̽̑ to die on your t̸̝͓̆͌͝ö̷̻͚̩̎͊n̸̨̘̭͍̕g̵̱̝͍̈́͛̍ͅû̶̞̼̲͜é̴̺, when I rip your h̷̟̣͚̅̏̔̚͜ë̵̺͙́́a̶͉͙̤͆͋r̶̼̈́͝t̴͙̯̕ out of your throat.”

Archaic symbols danced your vision as Alastor’s entire body seemed to contort into jagged edges, his arms and legs doubling in length, as his hunched back hit the ceiling of the hallway. His crooked neck lowered, his head itching closer. One claw coming out to hook  underneath you collar, pulling you up by the neck. 

“What will our dear King do then, when he finds your mangled body on his front door?” 

You snarled, trying to tear away from his grip. How dare he still try and bring Lucifer into this, even when the fallen angel could pulverize him in an instant. Couldn’t he face you one to one? 

The Radio Demon’s eyes flickered a darker red, and you feel the collar begin to tighten around your throat, squeezing the breath from your airways. You gasped, tears pricking at your eyes as you clawed at your neck in a poor attempt to stop the sensation.

“Alastor? Is everything alright over there?” 

Suddenly, the squeezing at your throat dispersed like fog, as the collar and chain vanished into thin air. You were left on the floor, sputtering for breath, as Alastor quickly pivoted towards the voice. His body instantly shifted back to normal, with quiet pops and clicks as his joints squeezed back into place.

It was Vaggie, coming down the hall, her eye staring suspiciously at his shaded form. 

Clutching your bruising throat, you stumble onto your feet. Your back hits the wall, and you use it for support to catch your breath.

Alastor straightened his suit, his expression morphing into its usual grin as if nothing had happened. “Oh, everything’s just dandy, Vaggie. Just having a delightful little chat with our friend here.” He gestured casually toward you, his tone dripping with false cheerfulness. “Isn’t that right?” He raised an eyebrow, his eyes glinting with an unknown expression.

“Yeah—cough—sorry, just choked on the water I was drinking.”

“Right. Listen, Alastor, I wanted to talk to you in private. If that’s okay with you.” Vaggie said, gesturing down the hall.

“Of course, it’s always a pleasure speaking with you, my dear!” You didn’t miss the way Alastor’s eye twitched, as if he was not thrilled about having to leave. But, he was deceiving everyone else, too. Which meant he had to play his little part to a T.

“I’m just.. going to go. I’m not feeling so well.” You muttered to the pair, before darting around the corner, out of sight. 

You ran to your room, slamming your door behind you. Your back hit its frame, before slowly sliding down until your bottom hit the carpet. Tears of anger flowed down your cheeks, as you continued to rub your neck.

Fuck. Why were you so powerless?! If only you had even a sliver of magic in you, you could have defied him better. Now, what was Alastor going to do? 

‘What did you expect?’ A part of your mind hissed scoldingly, ‘You just tried to fight the demon that owns your soul, and got your ass handed to you.’

You growled, rising to your feet. Frustration, sadness, pain, everything seeped out of you, and you felt like killing someone in that moment.

“It’s better—”

You picked up a spare shoe from the ground, your nails digging into it as you bared your teeth. Swinging it behind you, you vaulted it towards the opposite wall.

“—than doing nothing at all!” 

You heard glass shattering, and watched shards spill from the mirror above your dresser. You could see your face, partially obscured in its remaining reflection. You could see the slight purple marks around your neck, see the tears spilling from your cheeks.. see that dark look on your features, like you actually would kill somebody.

Reeling back, you placed your knuckles to your lips. Maybe, to stop that lip from quivering so violently. That face in the mirror reminded you of everything you hated about this wretched place.

And, now, you were becoming just like him. You stepped backwards, trying to distance yourself from the reflection, before the back of your legs hit the side of your bed, and you sank into the mattress. You wrapped your arms around your knees, curling into a ball as you sobbed the frustration out of you.

You could still feel the dark magic sizzling against your neck, as if it refused to release you of its hold just yet.

It wasn’t until you heard soft rapping of knuckles against glass did you lift your head. Turning towards the balcony doors, your eyes widen at the sight of the familiar figure standing outside. His silhouette illuminated by the dark red hues of the evening light, as he waved through the frosted glass.

“I see you over there! Can you let me in for a moment?” 

What was Lucifer doing here?! This was terrible timing for him to make an appearance! But, he knows you're there, can see your silhouette through the glass as you sit there on the bed. You sighed, quickly cleaning your face of tears, and taking a few deep breaths.

“Come in.” You called hoarsely, cracking the best smile you could muster.

The glass doors slowly pushed out of them, and Lucifer quietly shimmied through the cracks. He pivoted to face you, a large smile on his lips as he squinted at you through the darkness of your room.

“I’m so glad you’re here, I was just about to leave and then I remembered I never gave you your caramel apple!” 

Lucifer began to stroll forward, your face becoming less obscured in the shadows as he closed in. You tried to shrink away slightly, turning your knees away from him so he couldn’t see them quivering slightly.

“I put a layer of chocolate on it too, and so—wait, why are you crying?” His gaze intensified, as your face finally illuminated in the light.

“I-it’s nothing! I just had something in my eye!” You lied, cracking a wider smile.

“What are those marks on your neck?” Lucifer ignored your excuse, as he stalked closer to you. His eyes constantly scanning your figure looking for any more oddities. 

“Please, Lucifer.. I’m just tired and-”

“What is this?”

Lucifer had asked, his pupils dilated, trained on something against your throat. Something more than the small purple marks.

You began to rub your thumbs together in a soothing motion as you watched him move closer to you. Gulping, you parted your lips to speak.

You didn’t get a chance to say anything, before his hand gingerly lifted towards you. His nail grazed against your collarbone, and heat blossomed underneath your skin from his touch. 

‘Please, just stop here,’ you silently begged, eyes squeezing shut as his finger rested against your figure, ‘don’t ruin this moment by digging any farther.’

Your reaction only spurred him, however. Lucifer’s eyes narrowed, his pupils thin slits now as he watched you.

Slowly, his finger trailed upward, skin brushing softly against yours as he traced the invisible force only a powerful demon could see. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest, every movement of his only quickening its pace. 

Until his hand stopped, right in the middle of your neck, and you felt a sizzling against your skin. The heat was becoming too much, and you wanted to pull away from his touch. You didn’t, instead, you tensed, deathly still before him.

A soft golden light illuminated from Lucifer’s palm, as his fingers wrapped around an invisible object. A shadow formed in his grip, and he tugged at it, that glow in his palm growing stronger.

Backing away, he yanked a long, thin chain from your figure, as if trying to free you of a parasite that found a home deep in your bones. As he stepped backwards, it only dragged across the floor, still connected to your neck as it lengthened.

A thick, metal collar snuggly encompassed your throat. The chain locked tightly against it, a vivid reminder of your poor decisions.

Lucifer’s palm slid across the cold, metal links. Eldritch magic seeped from its form in the shroud of thick fog. Archaic symbols danced at the edge of your vision as its glow illuminated Lucifer’s unreadable expression.

The chain was a sickly green, its harsh glow an annoyance to his eyes. It was embedded with a dark, chilling magic. Whispers of untold horrors and ancient curses coiling around you, promises of a fate worse than death. 

Lucifer could practically smell it, that red demon's aura as it encircled around your frame. A twisted signature, practically scrawled across your forehead like a stamp of ownership.

Oh, the audacity of a person to take such a kind soul and rip it away from its owner. 

You weren’t some dog to be beckoned at the flick of a wrist. You were so much more than that, you deserved so much more than that. 

Yet here you were, the clasp around your neck like a shadowed hand, softly squeezing the life out of your eyes. He could see it, clear as day.

Small, white horns protruded from his head as he clenched the chain tighter. He tugged it once, twice, as if testing its durability. You leaned back slightly, the chain becoming taught between the two of you.

That collar around your throat kept you locked in place, as you watched him turn the chain in his hands. For a moment, Lucifer’s figure melded into the horrid shadow of your owner, and your eyes widened in fear at your delusion.

You could see it, feel it. Your stomach brushing the stained carpet beneath you with that haunting figure bent in a sickly, twisted angle in front you. That chain wrapped around the radio demon’s hand as he threatened you with terrible acts if you failed to stay in line.

Seeing your face contort into pained anguish only caused him to bare his teeth slightly, the sharp edges glinting in the light.

Seeing it so deeply entwined with your very being only further spurred the king’s anger. It seeped quietly from him, his grip tight against the chains as if trying to snap them with his bare hands.

“Who did this?” He hissed, his gaze boring into yours. He wanted to hear you say that demon’s name, wanted to hear you confirm the truth that was so obvious in front of him. 

You knew he wasn’t angry at you, but still you bowed your head slightly. Averting your gaze from his pleading eyes, shame slowly clawing at your stomach. For a moment, you felt like throwing up. Wanting to rid yourself of the terrible feeling that was seeping into your skin.

You felt like crying, or throwing yourself into his arms. Wanting to melt into his hold, and be told again and again that everything would be alright. That the most powerful man in hell would come to your rescue.

But, deals that bartered in souls are a much more difficult magic to conquer.

Fighting the urge to collapse into his embrace, you steeled yourself. Hands planted against your knees, back straight in a pathetic attempt to have some kind of power in this moment. 

Your eyes sullenly traced across the harsh links of the chain, its form all too familiar by now. Yet, it still caused such grief in your bones no matter how many times you looked upon it over the years.

Slowly, your eyes shifted to meet his gaze. Your lips curved into a frown at his expression, and your predicament.

How were you supposed to tell the love of your life your soul didn’t belong to you? That you were trapped in a deal of your own making? 

Curse that little fine line in your deal that kept your mouth sealed shut, that prevented you from uttering his name.

“I-I..” You desperately tried to speak, to tell him the truth, but that invisible hand that pulled at your tongue forced your silence. Tears pricked at your eyes, the desperation in them evident as your attempts to explain only died behind those pretty lips of yours.

As your mouth shut in frustration, Lucifer’s anger only heightened. His eyes flared into a blood-red glow, a harsh change from that soft yellow radiance you often found yourself lost in.

He pivoted harshly away, his voice contorting into a snarl as he stalked out of the room. His overcoat appeared atop his shoulders, and it swished behind him as he moved. 

Lucifer’s thoughts were too tangled with the images of his claws wrapping around the deal-makers throat to sit there and console you.

The tears that had threatened to spill finally rolled down your cheeks, your lip quivering as your eyes lingered on the doorway he had just exited. His thoughts too mangled with the image of his claws wrapping around the deal-makers throat to sit there and console you.

Placing your face into your hands, you sobbed quietly. 

Oh, how that regret had begun to consume you as you continued to wallow in your self-pity. 

Regret, for thinking that giving away your soul was a simple feat. That somehow, you’d still be happy after the fact. 

Regret, for falling in love when you knew the deal that kept you to that deer demon’s side would never allow you to enjoy such a fleeting emotion. No matter how hard you clawed to Lucifer’s soft embrace, that chain would always be there to drag you back. 

Those soft whispers of affections, of promises you couldn’t keep. Knowing, one day, that constant-smiling demon could play his little games and tear you away from your lover’s hold forever.

Oh, what a lovestruck idiot you are. 

Lucifer’s feet carried him back to the lobby, his eyes glowing as he noticed the cat-demon, Husk, cleaning glasses behind the bar. He sharply turned in his direction, surely, this other being 

“You, bartender.” Lucifer hissed, as he lifted himself up onto the barstool, crossing one leg over the other. Acting as if only wanting to have a friendly chat with the demon. His claws extended slightly, as they tapped impatiently against the countertop. 

Husker looked up from the glass in his hands, his eyes bored and his mouth a thin line as he worked. It wasn’t until he saw Lucifer’s deadly expression did he drop the glass immediately, ears slightly pinned to his head, before straightening his back to address the king.

“I-uh, how can I help you, Your Majesty?” 

Lucifer’s lips upturned into a lopsided grin, those sharp teeth on full display. That’s right, some people have to remember exactly who they are dealing with.

“Where is your master?”

Husk paused, regarding Lucifer for a moment with an eyebrow raised. He was very aware of the tension between the two powerful demons, but he didn’t expect the King of Hell would go looking for Alastor.

“I’m not sure, sir. You could bring it up with Charlie when she gets back, I’m sure she knows more than little ol’ me.” 

Lucifer grimaced slightly at that. Of all the people in the hotel, his daughter was the last one he’d want to bring into this whole debacle.

“There’s got to be something you must know, bartender. He owns your soul too, does he not?”

“What, you think I keep track of the guy or something?” 

“No, but you should,” Lucifer snarled, leaning over the counter, causing Husk to reel back slightly, “it’s clear no one here keeps eyes on that filth, enough to stop him from hurting people in this very hotel.”

Husk seemed to deflate at that. Those long, feathery eyebrows of his lowering slightly as an unreadable expression crossed his face. He set the glass down, before sharply turning away from Lucifer.

“He’s usually in his room, by now,” Husk spoke quietly after a moment, “down the left hall, last door on the right. Ya can’t miss it.”

Lucifer didn’t give thanks, instead he tapped his cane at his side, and golden waves circled around him. In an instant, the King was gone, a few pieces of gold dust landing softly against the barstool. 

“Asshole.” Husk muttered, before popping open a bottle of liquor and lifting it to his lips.

Lucifer opened his eyes to see a large door in front of his face, green symbols glittered against its frame, etched into the wood with practiced precision.

Only Lucifer could see them, though. Only powerful wielders of such a force could see these runes. Magical spells, cast upon the room. Protection, defense, muffling, everything an evil guy could dream of.

Although, the demon’s magic was strange. Unfamiler, even. Seems like he’s been dabbling in a new form of sorcery.

Lucifer stood there, for a few moments. He didn’t knock at the door, or jiggle the handle. The Radio Demon was not the one in control here, so he simply waited impatiently for an answer.

“I know you’re in there, you rat.” Lucifer hissed, the horns poking from his head continuing to rise. “I know you can hear me. Why don’t you do us both a favor and show yourself, or are you too much of a coward now?” 

Slowly, the door to Alastor’s room creaked open. The interior obscured by thick shadows, with soft lights flickering from the edges of the room as Lucifer continued to stand there.

“Your Majesty!” A cheerful voice called from the shadows of the room, and Lucifer bared his teeth at the tone. “What an honor to have someone like you gracing my presence. Please, come in!”

Lifting his head high again, Lucifer took a confident step into the room. He had every right to be, even in the demon’s own abode, the King’s powers were unmatched. 

Lucifer’s lips curled into a sneer at the saccharine greeting. “Save the pleasantries, rat. We both know why I’m here.”

As Lucifer stepped further into the room, the door behind him remained wide open, the light from the hallway illuminating the King’s figure. Alastor’s silhouette still danced within the shadows, the glow of his red eyes illuminating the space as he carefully followed the King’s movements.

“Ah, but do we really, Your Majesty? Enlighten me.”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. “You have an uncanny knack to create suffering with everything you touch. Now, you pull the strings of innocent lives. Do you thirst for power that fucking badly, to make a deal for someone’s soul?”

“They made a deal on their own whim,” Alastor retorted, waving his hands in a sweeping motion, brushing off the accusation, “How could I say no to such an offer? I’m a demon, if you can recall.”

The lights in the room began to flicker with renewed life, and Alastor’s sharp grin only made the fallen angel want to tear it from his face.

“Demons like you deserve to be ground into dust.” Lucifer snarled, closing the distance between the two. He lifted his head, meeting Alastor’s piercing gaze. His claws wrapped around the Radio Demon’s black bow tie, and he harshly tugged him down to his eye level.

Alastor stared at the grip with a deathly silence, his face contorting into sharper features, his pupils taking the dialed form once more. 

Energy crackled in the room, a mix of both demon’s powers as the tension only continued to escalate. Alastor didn’t move from the hold, he knew better than to test that fate. 

The lines above Lucifer’s lips scrunching as he stared at the demon with disgust. “You steal the souls of those weaker than you to fill that emptiness in your own, it’s pathetic.”

“Maybe.” Alastor shrugged nonchalantly, before a green spark sizzled against his bow-tie, and it limply fell from his clothing in Lucifer grip. He turned away, stalking towards the cutting board on the counter.

“Don’t walk away from me, you freak. Lest I do everyone in this hotel a favor and remove you from existence right here.”

A dark chuckle bounced against the walls, filling the room as Alastor kept his back to Lucifer. “Ah, but if you kill me, they die too. Souls entwined with each other, you see. Such a dilemma, wouldn’t you say?”

Lucifer gritted his teeth, cursing his oversight. “Shit,” he muttered under his breath.

Alastor’s voice took on a sly tone. “But fear not, Your Majesty. I’m not without mercy. I understand the affection you hold for such a.. charming demon.”

Lucifer’s gaze hardened, suspicion clouding his features. “What do you want?”

“Why don’t we.. make a d̴̻͉̺̆è̴̛͎̟̖̻͐a̵̭̫͆͆̽l̸͓͍̽̆̀̕?” Alastor’s tone crackled with static, as he spun to face the fallen angel. His head tilting curiously to one side, watching Lucifer’s expression.

Lucifer laughed, an audible ha-ha as the words left Alastor’s lips. He twisted his cane between his fingers, his claws leaving small etched lines trailing behind his movements.

“A deal with you? Do you actually expect me to give you my soul?”

Alastor’s grin widened, his eyes gleaming with mischief. “Oh, not your soul, silly! It’s nothing too extravagant. Just a little exchange of power. After all, what’s a deal between demons?”

“And, what exactly does this deal entail?”

Alastor paused for a moment, his intense gaze never leaving. “I have.. a few affairs I never got to settle when I died. I’d like to be able to return to that filthy place, whenever and wherever I want.”

“That’s it?” Lucifer asked in disbelief, his head leaning back slightly as he processed the demon’s words. “You want access to the human realm? You’re standing before the King of Hell! Why not simply ask for my title?”

Damnit, Lucifer, is it really the time to get your pride twisted?

“Oh, I couldn’t be bothered to bare such responsibilities of a king. I’d take your strength in a heartbeat though, but we both know you aren’t powerful enough to bless me with such a gift.”

The mockery in Alastor’s tone of the fallen angels' lack of heavenly abilities, spurred Lucifer. Who’s horns were fully out for view now, that small fire licking hungrily between them.

“Well? What is it going to be, Your Majesty?” Alastor hummed, his nails clicking against the countertop. “Do you want their soul or not?”

A demon like Alastor, being granted the ability to leap from the realms? It was much different than giving Amsodueus’ little spawns access via that orange crystal, who didn’t hold the kind of magic the demon before him did. 

What would he do when he was up there? Steal more souls? Go on a slaughter spree? There was no telling with the twisted man before him.

But… it was Heaven’s problem. Wasn’t it? It was them who cast Lucifer away from the place he helped create, and now it was their job to clean up the messes.

“Why would you give me something of such value for something like that?” Lucifer asked after a  moment.

“Because your little lover is a deep pain in my side, always disrespecting and challenging my words. If it wasn’t for that silver tongue of theirs, I’d have killed them ages ago.”

Lucifer growled, golden flames dancing on his fingertips at Alastor’s words. 

“They also don’t have any value. No power, no status, just a beggar on the street when I found them all those years ago. You could say I only made such a deal because I pitied their pathetic existence.”

‘If this guy keeps talking, I might just have to kill him.’

Time stood still in that room for a moment, the ending of the song playing from the radio the only indicator that the realm was still moving around them.

“I’m waiting~” Alastor sung, both demons locking eyes with each other across the room instensly.

As Lucifer weighed the consequences, a firm line set on his lips as he nodded. "Very well, Alastor," he said, extending a hand towards the demon. "We have a deal."

Their hands met in a firm shake, and as their fingers intertwined, a surge of dark energy crackled between them. Wisps of shadow and flame danced around their clasped hands, swirling around the duo.

Alastor was lost in a maniacal fit of laughter, as large eyes and symbols danced around him. That smile on his lips changed, as lines of thread locking his teeth together, as if someone had forcefully stitched that grin in place.

The air itself seemed to tremble with the force of their agreement, and the room pulsed with an otherworldly energy. The very fabric of reality seemed to warp and bend around them as the terms of their pact solidified.

Suddenly, you burst into the room, your eyes widening in fear as you saw the two demon’s hands entwined. You placed a hand to your mouth in shock, as you realized exactly what they were doing.

“Oh, no no no NO!” You cried hoarsely against the loud rushing wind, pushing you against the wall. What kind of deal was Lucifer making?! 

With a final burst of darkness, the pact was sealed, and both demons drew back. Alastor’s eyes gleamed with newfound power. His aura crackled with renewed strength, and the demon’s grin widened with satisfaction.

His eyes landed on you, a twisted smirk on his lips as he vanished in a plume of smoke. The intensity of it causing your eyes to water, and to fall into a fit of coughs.

The echoes of their agreement lingered in the air in a mixture of green and gold sparks of energy. Lucifer stood alone in the room, before he took a step backwards, stumbling slightly as you reached him. 

Taking his arm, you yank him out of the room, into the hallway. You scan over his figure, your heartbeat quickening as you search for any kind of injuries.

“What did you do? You didn’t make a deal for your soul, did you?!” You cried in panic, your hands on both sides of Lucifer’s face as he blinked away the fog from behind his eyes.

“Of course, I didn’t.” Lucifer muttered between your palms, “I simply gave him some power that he can go fuck off with for the rest of eternity.”

“But.. he c-could—oh, why would you do that?! That was so stupi—”

Lucifer quickly wrapped his fingers around your forearms, shaking you gently to get you to look at him. The slits of his pupils trained intently on your look of distraught.

“For you!” He growled, and you slammed your mouth shut. His breath was ragged, his lips downturned into a painful frown as he watched your lip begin to quiver.

“I made a deal to exchange your soul for a little power, because I cannot bare seeing you suffer any longer. Do you get that? I walked into your bedroom, to find you bruised and in tears. Over what, spilled milk?!”

“I can take it, I've been taking it.” You cried, arms shaking as you fidgeted in his hold. Shame clawing at your throat. Why did you have to be so fucking useless when it came to things like this?

“No! Stop that. Stop lying to me! That ‘everything is fine and dandy’, when it’s not. I’m the goddamn King of Hell, and I can’t even protect you because you refuse to let anyone prove that you matter.”

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut, head leaning into your shoulder as he took a deep breath. Your scent easing his anger slowly as he sunk into your embrace.

“You matter so much to me, you and Charlie. If I have to make a deal with a douchebag like him, to save your soul, then so be it. I don’t care what he takes from me.” 

Tears spilled from your cheeks, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. You both fell to your knees, and it was your turn to lean into his embrace. Your shoulders shook as you sobbed into his chest.

You were finally free from that monster. He couldn’t hurt you anymore, couldn’t lay a finger on you without consequence. Yet, your tears were also of sadness. You had tried so hard to prevent this, to prevent Lucifer from being selfless and allowing Alastor to win. 

You felt hands gently rubbing at your back, a soothing motion that quelled your quivering figure slightly. It was so warm, like laying in front of a lively fireplace. You wanted to stay there forever.

You were so tired. The mental exhaustion that had been plaguing your mind all these months finally slamming into you, and you lay there limp against his embrace.

“Please.. please don’t cry. I love you, I love you.” Lucifer whispered softly, his voice cracking as he pulled you deeper into his hold. He kept repeating those words, ‘I love you’, as he placed soft kisses against your forehead.

You felt the soft touch of feathers graze against your ears, and cracked open an eye to see Lucifer’s wings engulfing the both of you. They nestled into you, rubbing against your cheek softly, lulling you into a sleepy daze.

“I’ve got you, I promise.” Lucifer whispered into your ear. “You’re safe, you’re loved, I'm so sorry.” 

You placed a soft kiss to his collarbone, and snuggled deeper into his chest. Thankfully, no one was around to bother the two of you as you sat on the floor in the hall.

Just five minutes. That’s all you needed, five minutes basking in his warmth, in his soft words of affection. Five minutes to promise yourself you’d never let him do something like this again.

And maybe, everything would be alright. 

you guys 😭 i made sure this fic was cooked, damnit!! A little more fast-paced than usual, but I hope you can forgive me for that. i also could not settle on what kind of deal alastor wanted to make, so i blind drew out of a hat. i just wanted to bring in a little drama, and it’s hard when one of them is can be easily bodied haha

i honestly have to stop telling yall how long I think my fics will be bc i said “oh i want this to be as long as artist!reader pt. 4”, yet it’s roughly 6-7k over it someone kill me

let me know what you think 🫶

[Lucifer] taglist: @ohnoivefallen @doodlebob2726 @coleisyn @loslox @sukxma @undertale-is-sansational @nehy019 @mixplara @chewbrry @yellowsubiesdance @airwolf92 @laurenlaurie @lxkeee @jellybellyrulez @catnoirsleftnut @mbruben-stein @mint129106 @froggybich @moonlovers34 @just-trash-yeah-thats-it @lil-bexie @lowkeyhottho @wings-of-sapphire @the-tortured-poet @enigmatic-blues @bethleeham @blue122 @cherry-4200 @azullynx @luzzbuzz @for-hearthand-home

[keruimi]

Your Dream

Pairing: Obanai Iguro x reader

Warnings: Mention of Sexual Abuse, Death, Total Angst

Note: It has a similar plot with my other Obanai Oneshot but why do I feel like this hurts more? Anyways, I am back to writing Kny especially when it's angst. And yes, it's Obanai Iguro again, my favorite character. The only reason I wrote this is because of the Obamitsu Angst in my fyp like stop reminding me, it really hurts. Anyways, I hope you enjoy it because I don't want to suffer alone.

____________________________

It was a normal life I live, working as an average kakushi who is mostly assigned in the kitchen.

When an odd request from Oyakata-sama changes my routine. When he assigned me to deliver meals to the new pillar, the Snake Hashira, Obanai Iguro.

At the age of eighteen, I finally experienced the anger of a Hashira with just my presence.

Knowing I was silent my whole life, I never found the reason why the Hashira glared at me on our first meeting.

I can't even count how many meals have been ignored or thrown whenever I deliver it to him.

Feeding the Snake Hashira became part of my routine that I completely memorize the route of his manor since he doesn't want anyone to be with him.

"Y/n, please take care of Obanai Iguro's health for me"

Those are the words I hold onto as I tolerated the cold treatment of the Hashira.

I lost track of the times I stay outside the freezing cold when he doesn't want to open his door for me.

It became more torturing when my heart suddenly beat faster when he started treating me differently after a year.

When he finally started to accept the food I cooked and delivered to his manor. Even if he can't finish it, I am thankful that it wouldn't become a waste anymore.

I knew our simple interaction progressed more when he allowed me to come closer to his space. Even a job that I shouldn't be doing, I'm doing it for him.

Like cleaning his manor, grinding ink for him, and helping him sort different poetry he has written.

Those simple moments introduce me to the new side of him that I slowly fell in love with.

It made me want to try harder until the walls he built around him completely fall down.

Until he can finally open his heart to me.

But that friendship I tried to stabilize, brick by brick, became nothing when he met her in the Ubuyashiki mansion.

My effort is almost nothing with how easy she manages to make him soften to her.

And I started to look for the reasons why.

The friendship I tried so hard to build is ruined and I felt like I went back to the first time we met.

The cautious aura that made it difficult for me to connect to him.

And I knew those thoughts are really happening when the food I brought is left untouched.

"I have already eaten with Mitsuri"

It was the sentence I kept hearing but I didn't stop doing my duty of making his food for him.

Because I learned to love taking care of him.

Those tasty delicacies I used to love cooking, change when I noticed he was disgusted just by the smell of it.

I adjusted so many things that I completely forgot what I really love.

Just to serve him right.

I prevent the cough that is threatening to leave my mouth as I grind ink for the Hashira I am serving.

As he wrote the letter he always sent to her.

It was breaking me. But I have no right to feel anything for him.

I already knew ever since, that a high-ranking warrior like him is not meant to love me.

But the weak side of me silently yearn that he can return it.

But seeing how in love he is with another woman. I knew I never had a place in his heart.

But just a mere presence that accompanies him in the garden.

I was just a shadow he would never notice. A person that serves him, and he would not change his perspective on me.

I was beside him so I could serve him, not to love him.

I wipe the single tear and escape my eyes before he notices as I force my body to move according to what he wishes.

While he remained clueless of my emotion that I tried so hard to get rid of.

The emotion that broke my heart when I saw the ring in his room while I was cleaning.

I could never look at the mirror just to see how my eyes portrayed the pain I felt when I saw it.

"Obanai-san really liked Mitsuri, don't you?" I mustered up the courage to speak my thoughts with a slight teasing tone as my back faced him.

I bit my lip to stop the sob that is threatening to be heard as I heard shuffling behind me.

"Obanai-san must treat Mitsuri-san right. Marriage is a dream for every woman. Especially when they will have a good man to love" I turned to him with a smile as I slowly opened my eyes and saw how soft his eyes turned because of embarrassment.

I don't know his past. I don't know what he loves.

I don't know Obanai Iguro.

But I know he has a hard time trusting others.

"I hope you both live a happy life" I managed to let out but it came out as a whisper as I took my things and left the room.

I froze the moment I left his manor as the tears I managed to subside finally escaped my eyes as I found myself crying on the way back to the village I live in.

I knew it was coming but my heart won't stop aching. My eyes can't stop crying. My mouth can't stop sobbing.

I really love him.

But he is not mine.

~•°•~

I lost track of the years when the female kakushi started to serve me.

The only woman I allow to enter my manor with the excuse of serving me.

Because I thought of changing myself even a little no matter how much I feel fear or disgusted by a female approaching me.

Because she gave effort to providing me with the most comfortable thing I needed. Especially during my meal time.

Starting with a simple window being opened, creating less flavorful food that I can tolerate.

I knew she was adjusting for me so I let her presence in my everyday life. Until that became like a friendship I was thankful for.

I can talk to someone about things without including battles.

I love her like a family.

That explained how my body felt frozen when I heard the news of what happened to her on the way to my manor.

The news of her being taken advantage of by a man who manages to memorize her route to my manor due to her everyday routine of walking her way there.

The anger I felt was unexplainable that I can find myself hurting a fellow human.

I knew humans can be evil, but I didn't know I could hate them more than I hate demons.

But I thought I made a mistake too.

If I just let her stay in my manor so she wouldn't exert too much energy just for my food, I could protect her better.

I know I'm slowly losing control when my self-restraint almost fell apart when I visited her quarters and I found her silently sitting at the corner of her room, hugging her knees.

As the spark in her eyes completely vanishes.

"She refused to eat nor let another woman near her. When the others approach her, she flinches. We don't know how to approach her anymore" the Kakushi who led me to her room stuttered out as I felt my hand grip the wooden door in anger.

Yet my eyes badly wanted to cry for her.

"Shinobu tried to check on her but she started to cry whether she was near. We just confirm the situation when the evidence of the sexual abuse was present in her body when we found her unconscious in the forest"

"Stop talking" I snap at him who immediately keeps his mouth shut as my snake hiss at him who scurried away.

"Y/n, it's me" I knocked on the door even though it was already open to make her aware of my presence in the room.

I don't know how I control my voice who I thought will be expressed in a trembled tone.

I am a man.

That is the first thought that came to my mind that made me decide to sit at the floor near the door.

"Obanai Iguro, you know me, right?" I spoke again and she kept her silence making my hands tighten its hold on my pants.

I'm not used to this side of her.

"Are you scared of me?" I asked slowly as silence occupied the entire room before she shook her head a little.

"May I come closer?"

With that question, I notice how her hands tighten on the blanket surrounding her making me release a shaky breath.

I never knew I was willing to hurt a fellow human just for her.

It made me want to make the man suffer badly. Worse than what he did to her.

"I'm sorry" I was left speechless when those were left on her lips and I immediately shook my head.

"Don't apologize. You did nothing wrong. It was them that wronged you" I am not good at words but I wanted to completely express my concern and pain for her.

I badly wanted to avenge her.

"It was me who should apologize because I was not there for you"

"I am not your responsibility..." She whispered and I shook my head once again, wishing for her to look at me even once so she can see how badly I am hurt for what she has experience.

How desperate I am to show she was not alone during this time.

"You are. Because you are important to me" I felt tears in my eyes as Kaburamaru slithered his way to her and slowly circled around her shoulder in a protective manner.

"I am tainted..."

"You're not" I firmly stated. "I am the tainted one between the two of us" those words quickly left my lips without any hesitations and she finally had the courage to look in my direction.

"So don't look at yourself that way. For me, you are still the same Y/n that accompanied me" I stuttered out as I tried to stabilize my breathing.

"I will seek justice for you. That's a promise"

I saw how a tear left her eyes as she looked outside the window. Removing her gaze on me.

"In our generation, marriage is every woman's dreams. Is a symbol of acceptance. Is where you will really feel you are loved and chosen by someone" she whispered.

"But in order to be chosen, you need to be pure, compliant, and well-mannered. That's what it takes to be a good wife" she stated as Kaburamaru nuzzled his head on her cheek when he noticed her difficulty in breathing.

I badly want to lend her my shoulder to lean on, an advice to make her mind clear. But in this situation, we both knew she just needed an ear to listen to her.

Someone to comfort her with just presence.

"But if you don't meet those requirements, you will be shunned by society. You will lose the qualification that a wife has."

"Right now, I will not be the wife of someone. I will not be married to a man I will dedicate my life to. Because I don't have my purity that only my husband should have." She whispered.

It was a painful word to state out loud. But right now, I can't read her.

Because she completely closed off her emotions.

"I don't fit the standard that a wife should have." She whispered as she buried herself in her blanket that hid herself from me.

"And it hurted so badly"

I closed my eyes when she spoke those words.

And I hate myself because I can't do anything for her but just torture her attacker.

"What else is your dream other than marriage?" I ask her as she closes her eyes to rest it for a little while.

"I want to meet the one that is willing to spend their entire life with me" it was a hopeful wish.

Silence occupy the room and I thought she fall asleep until she whispered the words I never expected to hear from her.

"I love you..." It was barely heard but I knew it was the words she hide for so long.

That made it known to me that I could grant that dream to her.

But I decide to give her the time she needs to heal from that painful experience.

She needs to heal.

Those are the thoughts I could only think of as I laid her down in her bed in a more comfortable position when I noticed she had finally fallen asleep.

But I never expected that it would be the last time I would see her with her eyes open.

Because when I came back the next day, the news of her death was the one that greeted me.

It was a nocturnal death because her heart failed during her sleep.

It finally felt like my whole world collapsed and my mind completely shut down.

If it weren't for Sanemi being beside me, I would have completely fallen on the floor as I kneel in front of her room.

It hurts.

I wanted it to stop.

But I know that nothing could make her happy anymore.

Because that nightmare would continue living within her for the rest of her life.

I never manage to cherish her smiles more. I only shrugged the moments I have with her because I thought we would stay that way.

That I never knew I was running out of time.

It took every cell in my body to approach her cold body that is covered with white cloth as I kneeled beside her.

I silently slid the ring that she found on my mansion in her finger as tears continued escaping from my eyes as Sanemi just stood behind me.

I lost someone who made me feel like I have the family I never have.

In this life, we were parted to heal.

But I will make sure that her wish will be granted.

"In this life" I started to whisper as my lips lean on her fingers where the ring stays.

"As God as my witness, I promise to take you as my bride. Give myself as your other half" I keep mumbling as I squeeze her cold hand as tears continue to fall from my eyes.

"That even death can never separate us. Because in our next life, I'll make sure, that I will utter this words to you again"

And in that life, you will be alive to hear it

[in-sufficientdata]

ID: Bluesky post by Ro Salarian (@RoSalarian.bsky.social):

I often wonder if abusive people are drawn to the arts, or if a certain amount of notoriety just makes people turn to shit. I am involved in a lot of different art scenes, and every single one has a whisper network about some big names who nobody feels they can address directly.

Kelly Barnhill (@KellyBarnhill.bsky.social) quotes this on July 10, 2024 at 6:47pm EST and responds:

Sexual predation is clearly not limited to the arts, and so-called "whisper networks" exist in every profession. And ultimately these networks always, always fail. They don't reach the most vulnerable and they don't ever remove the offender or prevent future harm. end ID.

At the source, the thread continues:

When I was growing up, I had a friend whose house had a bad stair - a nail sticking up on one side, and on the other side if you stepped wrong, the whole tread could flip up and send you flying backwards. We had to be told to avoid that stair. It was dangerous. We couldn't forget.

The trouble was, it looked like every other stair. Sometimes we did get hurt. This went on for years. Finally, one of the other parents in the neighborhood was like THE CHILDREN ARE GETTING INJURED and the whole "rule" of avoidance, of letting people know, was thrown out. They fixed the stair.

Now, this was dumb, of course. Who just has a stair that looks like every other stair but is boobytrapped in this bonkers way? Well, lots of people, as it turned out. And this wasn't so bad, as injuries go - a skinned knee or the occasional puncture wound.

Imagine if they had a stair that was, say, secretly filled with bees. Or poisoned. Or a one-way portal to one of the various realms of Hell. And it was there, like any other stair, looking benign. Maybe it was even fancied up - attracted the eye and tickled the fancy. A rock star stair. Well.

It's problematic, is my point. Leaving a danger in plain view is problematic. Simply relying on a network of people warning people and washing our hands of the whole affair is problematic. And worse, it abdicates responsibility. This is not how grown-ups should behave.

Part of the problem stems from the Myth of Male Genius - organizations twist themselves in knots to protect their access to whatever Male Genius they've tied their careers to, be they philosophers or physicists, conductors or or inventors, teachers or hotshot attorneys. We've all experienced this.

And while it's [notallmen] or [notonlymen] or whatever tagline you want to throw at me - yes, I know, and yes, I agree, and yes I'm certain that toxic and predatory women exist and have also harmed but I honestly can't think of any at the moment - it all stems from a central problematic fallacy:

Here's a toxic fallacy that I'd like to see dismantled: that genius is rare. That it must be protected at all costs. That it must be allowed to misbehave because the misbehavior is tied to genius in some fundamental way that none of us can understand because we are not geniuses. WRONG.

For every "rockstar author" or "rockstar artist" or "rockstar scientist" or "rockstar academic" there are a thousand others who are just as talented, just as transformative, just as consequential. And by ascribing godlike abilities to those who are more ordinary than we'd like to admit, we allow the person on that pedestal to become unglued from consequence and unhooked from the ties that are supposed to bind us to one another. This is a moral injury and an injury of empathy as well. So it's bad for the "rockstar". And holy hell is it bad for every person they injure. And worse, what about the "genius" of the victims? What about the dreams deferred and the paths upended because the world they've entered has decided to make itself unacceptably dangerous, unacceptably callous. A busted stair in the middle of the ascent in some young woman's career, left for no reason.

Here's what I know: genius isn't godlike or magical or even that rare. Genius is cultivated, nurtured, supported, delighted in. It happens in the context of a myriad of tiny boosts, too numerous to count and too subtle to name. It is as common as breath, and just as precious.

The reason why predatory men are lauded, protected, demurred to, is because we've told a story to ourselves that their genius is special, and have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way to become special ourselves is to bathe in its light, regardless of consequence.

Let's be done with that story. Cultivate more lights. Be the light.

And also? Let's fix that fucking stair, shall we?

[max1461]

This has mostly disappeared from my corner of the internet over the last few years, but it used to be the case that every once in a while some story would go around about a corporation or a government doing some fucked up shit in pursuit of their self-interest, and people in the comments and reblogs would act utterly aghast that said government or corporation would do such a thing.

This was always baffling to me, and I have only ever been able to interpret it as a sign of profound naivety. Of course, I too think it is awful, sad, and unjust when people are exploited, killed, abused or so on by the institutions of our society. But "aghastness" is not synonymous with these things, to be aghast is to be (or present yourself as) in some sense surprised. And surprise is wholly unwarranted here.

I suppose this is part of my worldview that feels very fundamental, it feels deeply obvious, and I struggle to figure out how to talk productively with people who did not get the memo: exploitation and abuse of others in pursuit of self-interest is in some sense the natural behavior of agents in any kind of competitive context. It requires a lot of effort and coordination to mitigate this behavior. We do not feel "aghast" when someone is bitten by a dog. Dogs bite people, idiot! And corporations exploit their workers, lie, cheat, and steal, unless you work very hard to prevent them from doing so. And governments exploit and neglect their citizens, and go to war and kill and maim, unless you work very hard to prevent them from doing so. Individual humans, as members of a social species for which cooperation is paramount to survival, have quite a lot of specific programming whose purpose seems to be to discourage us from doing these things (empathy, loyalty, etc. etc.), and yet very often we still do them!

I have relatives who have a hard time believing in US atrocities abroad, on the grounds that "Americans are the good guys, and the US just wouldn't do that". This is very stupid! Do you think the US got where it is today without cracking some eggs? Bullshit. There's never been a government or a military in the history of humanity that "just wouldn't do that". I sometimes see posts on here from tankies, defending Chinese or Soviet atrocities on the grounds that these things must be Western propaganda, a socialist government just wouldn't do that. Again, I find this so obviously false as to be essentially beneath engaging with. We don't live in a just world! Often, a very effective strategy for achieving whatever it is you're trying to achieve will involve treating people like shit. It is what it is.

I'm not trying to play defense for injustice here. Obviously I think we should do as much as we can to prevent these abuses. But I think that doing so must start with basic recognition of the following: it is the nature of institutions—being as competition between them is essentially unavoidable, and being as their decision processes are unavoidably removed from the face-to-face social context which is so load-bearing in motivating respectful treatment between individual humans—to abuse people in pursuit of their (perceived) self-interest. This behavior is mundane and expected. It can be mitigated in various ways, ideological and structural, but it will probably always be with us to some degree. To look at it and express shock in any capacity suggests a completely misguided understanding of how the world works.

This is the first and most important thing I ever learned about politics or society.

[foxpaw9]

Yan!Samurai X Maid!Reader

Context: This is the part three. Here's the part two → Part Two

Content Warning:- 18+++ Contains some Yan themes and *coughs* Pervy themes as well

Synopsis: you are assigned to the Samurai general Nereus as, his personal maid during a war after he killed his previous maid. You are supposed to tend to his every needs even those of sexual ones since he is a general who's leading the war and unmarried.

━─━────༺ - ༻────━─━

Nereus X Y/N

★ Nereus walked to the pond with his erection,where you were supposedly taking a bath alone.He can't wait,he can't wait to see you as yourself. You have always hidden your beautiful body by layers of clothing. While other personal maids were seducing their masters for their own selfish reason,here you were, hiding his body from him.

★ He stopped as he heard the sound of water splashing. It was past evening and darkness has already started spreading everywhere. Nereus paced towards the pond. Green Forest surrounded the pond area hiding it from the outside.

★ He hid behind a huge old tree and looked towards the pond. He saw your clothes and dim lit lamb. But you were nowhere to be seen. He searched you around with his eyes until he saw swimming in the pond. All naked

★ His hand traveled to his abdomen and parted the robe and grabbed his thick and veiny cock. He gave it a tight squeeze and gazed at you,you were done swimming and now cleaning yourself with the herbs.

★ He leaned on the tree with his left forearm while he groped his own cock and pumbed it. Pre-cum oozing out of his dick,as he bit his lip to prevent the urge to moan.

★ Y/N was done with cleaning her body and she was bathing herself again. Nereus thought to himself - One day we will bath in the hot spring in my home together and you will be under me,gazing up at me with your teary eyes begging me to let you cum as I pushed my fingers in and out of your pussy.

★ He imagined,what could be her favorite position? Standing? Or doggy style? Or maybe I should just rut into her as a feral beast does. Wouldn't she enjoy it?

★ In his fantasies,he had you under him,in the mating press. Your legs on his shoulder while your pulsating pussy was being abused by his throbbing dick. He will pound himself deep into you while his cum paints your walls white. Every time he pulls out, the cum would immediately pool out from your hole only to be pushed in with his dick again. yes, he will fuck you till the sun rises if you want.

★ He looked at you,and you were done bathing. And what are you doing?? Y/N was looking at her tits with a frown,she then raised her hand and palmed both her bust and muttered “ They do feel uncomfortable sometimes ”

★ Nereus pumped faster,his pupil dilating. Are you going to give him a show?? Oh then just bent down just like that,all naked. And show me your pretty pussy. Your busts were probably larger than your palms. Nereus slightly parted his mouth and imagined his mouth on those brownish nipples of yours. He swirled his tongue inside his mouth as if he's playing with your nipples.

★ And then you came out of the water, unaware of his presence. Your naked body in his sight. It awakened something feral in him. He saw your hairy pussy and just wanted to pounce on you and fuck you till your pretty little cunt is full of his cum.

★ His body shivered and his hips jolted thick streams of cum burst out of him. He fell on his knees. The impact was too much. Seeing you naked for the first time and being able to get himself off of it.

★ He partially laid on the mat of grass,his knees bent in pleasure and his right hand pushing out the remaining cum.

He wonder,what you will do if you see him like this?? Would you run away ?? Or would you help him with it ???

━─━────༺ - ༻────━─━

It's my first time writing smut so please bare with the flaws. Also follow me if you want to read more 🥰🥰

This is the 3rd Headcanon out of the 7. I'm planning on writing another Headcanons from July.

[lesorus]

A thing I noticed growing up having a lot of physical altercations with my brother is how much defending yourself as a woman is looked down upon. If my older brother that started bodybuilding at 13 pushed or hit me, sure he would get a scold, being told he doesn't know his strength, but when i started digging my nails into his arms and scratching him somehow, i became responsible for defending myself. I wasn't just abusing power like he was, I was called a snake, vicious. To the point my mother made him hold me down while she cut my nails so short you could see my nail beds as punishment at 14 and i wasnt allowed to grow them out again. Scratching and biting was for animals she'd say, as if hitting wasn't. Well sure I had the option to hit him back, but the taller, stronger he grew the more laughable it was.

Then i started screaming in prevention, before he hit me, when he was threatening me, if i felt scared or overwhelmed. It was a good tactic because if anyone was home they would run there and intervene. He would say he didn't even hit me yet, that I was acting and a liar, and sure I was but I couldnt really defend myself against him otherwise could I? Nobody would care if I said he was threatening me but surely the blood curdling screams I would let out worked well enough. Until my parents realised I was lying, an actress they'd call me, a filthy liar. As if I was supposed to get hit and cry on the ground until i waited they do something.

If i broke something of his in retaliation or threatened to hurt his reputation, hurt him in one of the few ways i could, i was evil, a little demon. I was always punished, but he never got the same treatment for pushing me around, or using his physical strength to hurt me, because whatever I could do in emotional or material damage was sure worse than me crying in pain. Oh and sure, I was called the girl crying wolf whenever I was physically injured because I had faked being hurt before in order to have an adult intervene.

I was only worthy of help if i was completely helpless and a full victim, the second I tried to defend myself I became responsible, because somehow self defense was always worse than the act that prompted it. Because the scratches I gave were comparable to bruises, lies were worse than serious threats of violence, ripping a shirt was way worse than getting beaten to the ground. His violence was an excess of his masculinity to my parents, deserving of a scold but not of serious punishment, it was natural for him. Self defense and fear on my part was animalistic and wrong. A woman is supposed to be pure, a victim if she wants help.

[nathaniel-underwood-is-an-intj]

Looong rant about chapter 16 Ptolemy's Gate and how being passive can add to the cycle of ab*se.

oof so I just read when Nat goes to see Ms Lutyens and I can't help but be absolutely furious at her??

I know that's maybe a little bit unfair given she's frightened of him as a magician and is obviously angry when she finds out the department he's responsible for, but honestly it kinda brings up the problem with inadvertent bystanders to child ab*se in my mind.

And I'm definitely not blaming her solely for who Nat becomes but it makes me think of all those people in huge child ab*se cases who give interviews to press about all the things they noticed that were wrong but they just...never do anything?

She stood up for him against Lovelace, and when Nat thanked her- "I wanted to say that I know you were trying to save me, and-"

''Yes, and I'm sorry I didn't" Like girl be for real did you really think that alone would undo the years of indoctrination and abuse he's already suffered and prevent years worth of the same in the years to come? And she won't take responsibility - "My job is with children, not the adults they become" and again while it seems harsh to blame her for who Nat becomes, it's so much easier to pass the blame to people who are more directly responsible rather than acknowledging you also play a part.

I think it hurts so much more because it's her specifically- Nat goes to her in sheer desperation, it almost seems like a goodbye- he wants to thank her, tries to set her up in a job that will pay well and struggles to communicate he's trying to help. At this point he thinks Bartimaeus has been summoned by another magician and his birth name will be revealed. He's sure he's about to die and if not he'll be stood on trial and lose everything.

He goes to her because she represents the peaceful moments from his childhood when he got away from his master. He's scared and feeling lost and really it's call for help; but he doesn't ask for anything he just wants to make her feel proud of him- he's looking for that validation that he's been chasing since childhood.

And that shows he still does have that little bit of childhood innocence in him; he thinks she will be proud, thinks she'll see him as the same little boy in the garden gazing up at his teacher in adoration. He can't quite grasp why she's separated the man stood before her from that little boy. Because in that moment the child inside Nathaniel is seeking comfort AND THAT'S WHY it makes me so angry. She's completely given up on him when he's at his lowest ebb, because she doesn't want to be associated with the magician he's become. As if it isn't a massive step in the right direction that he saught her out in the first place- what other magican would bother? I wonder if that's why she reacted so strongly to seeing him again? Before that moment she could go about her life wondering if /pretending her attempt to protect him was enough, and now she realises it wasn't, of course it wasn't, and the image she had of Nathaniel's childhood innocence is completely ruined in her mind.

Or was her contempt for him even grater than Nat realised? She was naturally disgusted by the rhetoric he'd started to repeat from a young age, and gently tried to correct him although she was clearly angry- was she just resigned to the fact that there is little else she could do to change his future? I always thought- couldn't she have looked for him? The Underwood house fire was in the papers and they mentioned the apprentice was being searched for. Did she ever worry about him? Surely something must have been in the papers since- an announcement of new ministers, ANYTHING! Look at how much research Kitty did to find out about Bartimaeus and Ptolemy. I just don't think Rosanna Lutyens cared enough, realistically Nathaniel wasn't hard to find- but he was no longer her responsibility so she could turn a blind eye.

And sadly it's not just her- I know everyone loves Martha Underwood including Nat; but I think her submissiveness to her husband has a negative effect on Nathaniel as well. In AOS when Nat is locked in his room for ages after setting the mites loose, and is forbidden to have any contact with anyone and she won't talk with him. I know she's been told by Mr. Underwood she can't, but it still boils my blood. She's an adult and going along with ignoring Nathaniel because her husband told her to...I can't even begin to imagine the psychological damage that would do to a 10 year old child. (It could be argued she's frightened of the consequences if her husband finds out she's disobeyed him which is fair, he could always be watching through magic- but this is Arthur Underwood we're talking about. He's lazy, oblivious and weak I doubt he'd expend all that energy each day to check up on her.)

And It's even more painful that Nathaniel is often described as fiercely loyal to her and I think to Ms Lutyens as well- he doesn't expect to be treated well by Arthur Underwood but he loved Mrs Underwood and Ms Lutyens so much he started to view them through a rose-coloured lense. He never feels betrayed by either of them, even though they absolutely let him down, because the pedestal he's put them on is too high AND THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYS ME.

Would things with Nathaniel have been any different if Mrs Underwood hadn't died? I don't really think so. Do you think she'd see Nathaniel's temper at 14 years old and be reminded of Arthur Underwood? He was awful, absolutely awful to Nat and to her; but he was under so much stress in an underfunded departement, where pressure was being put on him by superiors to accomplish far more than they knew him to be capable of, and he took it out on the easiest target. Nathaniel ends up in exactly the same place and he starts to take it out on the only person around him- Bartimaeus. Would he snap at Mrs Underwood all the time if she were still there? Because he's learnt that behaviour from his father figure, and subconsciously learnt from his mother figure that she'll put up with it. He learnt from the woman he loved so deeply, that if you don't resist, people will walk all over you. So you have to maintain control even if it ends up hurting people you care about because no one will step in to stop the suffering no matter how much you love them, no matter how much you want them too.

It's easy to blame Arthur Underwood and Simon Lovelace and the magicians that actively hurt Nathaniel but I just feel like it's a bit disingenuous not to acknowledge the role of those doing passive harm. It's really mean to say it but even Bartimaeus plays a role- he knows Nat is clinging on to him because he can't 'bring himself to break this last connection' (to his childhood) but instead of bringing it up properly he 'taunts' Nathaniel- a boy who has been taunted for his weakness by his master for years. And even in AOS when Nathaniel tells Bartimaeus he was beaten for the mites incident Bart just kinda shrugs it off. Like I get it, why should Bartimaeus do anything, he's suffered way worse due to the system so he doesn't owe Nat anything right? But from Nat's point of view this is the first and only time he's mentioned to anyone what has happened to him and nothing changes. It's like another lesson learnt: telling someone about it doesn't help. Another nail in the coffin.

And I like all these characters, I feel bad for them. They're all victims of the system, I think the chapter with Ms Lutyens is just the straw that broke the camel's back for me. All of those little opportunities that are insignificant to the narrative over all; the commoners have it worse, Nathaniel is in a privileged position in society, exerting control over others. He's very morally grey, crossing over into objectively bad person territory but I love him with my whole heart and all of those insignificant moments would have been massive to him whether he was conscious of it or not.

And it goes all the way back to the beginning with Nat's parents giving him up to the magicians at 5 years old. I can't get the image of that little boy sat crying all alone in the government building. And he's not going somewhere safer, or somewhere he'll be happier and more loved. Giving your child over to a total stranger, oh he'll be totally fine won't he? He'll grow up to be a magician and far richer than you'll ever be, he'll be happy and comfortable and be grateful he got to grow up in luxury. There's no way a stranger you've never met, who the majority of society is terrified of would ever hurt a vulnerable little kid right? And if they do? Well you aren't responsible anymore, how could you know? What could you possibly do against the magician taking care of him?

Every little thing is another grain of sand tipping the scale. Did anyone else have to analyse An Inspector Calls in school? It feels like that to me- those BIG moments and all the little moments in between that add onto the pile.

And it goes on to cause problems in wider society too- ab*se is so normalised to the magicians, they casually ask Underwood if he hits Nathaniel like it's nothing. Because to them it is nothing, they've all grown up in the same circumstances and are repeating what they've learnt as children. I can't help but feel a little sorry for them all, especially when they aren't looked at through the black and white lense of 'argh these people are the evil arseholes look at how they treat everyone around them, screw these guys.' When we see those little glimpses of humanity like Simon's anxiety with the amulet; looking to his master and father figure Schyler for reassurance, and what's sad is that Nat is "reminded...of his own master's cold impatience" It's clear Simon looks up to his master, wants to make him proud and loves him. But it seems like Schyler has just trained Simon up so he can get power through him later on. I love the little hints of similarities between Simon and Nathaniel; the anxious mannerisms like fiddling with his hair that Nathaniel starts to develop, the way their master's talk to them. Even though they're actively working against each other in AOS and Simon is placed firmly in the baddies category and Nat in the goodies category at this point in the series; these things always hinted to me they had similar childhoods, how was Simon treated? When he had the imp beat Nat into unconsciousness, was it because he'd had the same punishment used against him? Did he know the magicians in the room would do nothing to stop him because no one stopped it from happening to him? Did he ever have a teacher stand up for him only for it to change nothing in the end because all the negative influences were so much stronger? Is the reason he loves Schyler like a dad because he's almost developed Stockholm syndrome? It looks like love because he's never known anything else.

And Arthur Underwood- who doesn't think his upbringing, and being taken away from his family ever did him any harm- doesn't realise the harm done is that he doesn't even know another way of raising Nathaniel, because he was never shown another way. His childhood may also have been filled with people who hurt him and the people that didn't do enough to intervene.

There are so many psychology studies that show children copy everything they see the adults in their life doing. Nathaniel copies the magicians behaviour towards spirits and on a subconscious level I think he copies all the submissive people in his life. How many times does he end up upset and frustrated with the fact he seems to be going nowhere and how many times does he just hope things will be different rather than taking postive action.

I dislike the actions the magicians end up taking but I also find them fascinating to analyse. I tend to prefer villains in media because they're usually slightly more complex individuals and I love to think about how they ended up that way. They can all be seen as victims of their circumstances in a way, despite all the power and privilege they have had terrible and traumatic childhoods, and if the commoners had no valuable worldy possessions at least they had a sense of togetherness; of love and understanding and selflessness. I wonder if the magicians hated them at least partly because of that. Because out in the sea of faces of the commoners talking about nothing important, doing nothing great and noble- could be the parents that abandoned them. And when your life is on the line daily because of working with spirits, and your colleagues want to stab you in the back, sometimes not being responsible for anything important looks good. But you can't leave your life as a magician, it would be too difficult; you have nowhere to go, no real friends, no one who really loves you. So it's better to stay and be a submissive bystander in your own life because it's so much easier.

Doing nothing is doing something- being passive can be just as harmful.

[oleanderscorner]

I offer you, the highest of my ideas

Yandere Twst X Overblot Yuu.

Vibes? IMMACULATE

Everyone’s like “oooh overblot twst so hooot” NO! I WANT THEM TO DO THAT. FOR ME. IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE.

fuck the calculation n’ clever shit. I want them to run onto scene and go 👀👀

(Specifically if you wanna: Dorm leaders + Leech twins + Ace + Deuce.)

I think I can do this in more of a series—but I’ll do this in this more analysis-like format…let’s start with Vil because I think he would be the most fun.

Yandere!Vil x OB!Yuu

TW: manipulative behavior, obsessing, toxic and abusive themes, self harm—YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Vil Schoenheit

I think everyone can agree that Vil is often an incredibly misrepresented character—whether or not they know or believe their own interpretation to be completely correct. There’s a lot to his character that doesn’t get represented because it’s hard to represent all of him when he’s incredibly adaptable to his surroundings…

But before we get to him any more—let’s look at Yuu.

Yuu can’t OB in canon but without magic, but a personal theory I’ve had for a long time is that Yuu will gain magic somehow—because like everything else they’re now a part of this world, and while they don’t belong “currently” after saving so many people they’re bound to become part of the world they’re living in, and gain some level of magic or be someone part of the universe who has no magic—which is a little less likely considering where Yuu is placed within this universe.

Yuu’s UM is likely to be more similar to Ruggie’s in that they likely will have some level of control over people and surroundings, however, with the ghost theme of the dorm—it’s better to assume that Yuu’s UM may be to become invisible like a ghost to help in battle same way they always kind of had in game.

An OB would likely be quick as Yuu begins to miss home and just wants to disappear and have everyone forget them—have the world forget them—so that maybe they can go home as they no longer have any remnant of themselves in the universe. Homesickness is a real thing, and if we look at some of the manga Yuus we do know that there is families back home for Yuu to go to, and possibly friends too. It can hit hard after awhile, especially if we go by the year and we don’t know how time there works—which can host so many accidents where Yuu won’t see their family again and as much as Yuu would miss their friends here—home could hit a lot worse.

When not invisible, I’d imagine them covered in cloth similar to a sheet ghost and with ink between the folds and sheets, and nearly translucent—just for the fun of a design.

Now onto the actual OB!YuuxVil

(Might switch Yuu and you because Yuu is the reader, if I say they know that means reader/Yuu)

Vil is observant—he may send Rook or Epel to spy on you or make judgements of character—but he is observant of Yuu and their actions leading up to the overblot. He wanted to prepare for it himself—and hopefully actually stop it. In most instances he would—he knows how to take preventive measures—but…this time he didn’t.

As we know from chapter 5 and his vignettes, Vil is one to get back up again after every failed attempt—and is by far the most adaptable character when it comes to needing to work with a loss. He couldn’t prevent it? Fine—it’s not like anyone else was truly helping (they were), he’ll just have to take extreme measures instead.

He locks you up so you cannot be a danger to yourself and others—likely using something to get you to a secure location (his home if he could help it—it’s incredibly reinforced, his dad and he have crazy fans I’m sure) since Ramshackle would definitely be destroyed and Pomefiore has a ridiculous amount of glass to get you hurt. He normally isn’t the kidnapping type but this situation is incredibly dire, so he has to live up to that role.

Vil struggles with identity and selfishness—he is strict and wants to keep everyone in line, and knows how to battle each person who comes his way with tact and grace to keep people in line. However this is for the betterment of others more than for simple order. This is one of the things where he has to come off as the bad guy in order for people to be better versions of themselves and be better people. He is incredibly used to this role even if he hates it and loathes everything. It’s an identity he doesn’t want but it’s one he’s always going to be stuck with, making it hard to do truly selfish things unless it contributes to his image—something he cares way more about than himself.

All of this is to say that he is certain to try and manage your overblot—and to get you out of it—even if it means he has to be the bad guy and keep you away from things. Even if it means having to use magic spray you can’t hurt yourself and others. Even if it means afterwards you hate him.

Yet there will be times where he calls you beautiful, times where he tells you that you look lovely this way—times where he just praises you. Some of it he believes, but some of it is out of what little selfishness he can manage for himself to not completely be the villain in your eyes. It’s ever so slightly manipulative, but telling him that will only make things worse.

He tries to get you to eat so at least there’s things feeding this magical energy. Some of it is laced with potions to help do just that—because he is incredibly scared that stunting it will kill you or harm you. So he wants to just make sure you don’t completely use it all up.

Vil is determined—but if anything Yuu is the best at breaking his resolve.

Constant egging on about him keeping you here, about him using his magic against you—trying to hurt him for so long. Eventually it can get to be too much—but if Yuu mixes it in with any knowledge they knew of his previous obsession for them. How he wished so dearly to make them the best version of themselves and how he wishes to be a part of the life they had here. How he kept worried eyes on them and made sure more money was slipped into their account for food. Even the jealousy he had to hide constantly around those who also showed interest, and his own plans to outdo them that he constantly overthought and looked over. Or especially how Vil had failed to prevent this overblot? Well, that might just break it.

He’d use his own curses against him to make himself better. Give himself timeframes yo complete things or if there was a certain amount of insults or hits a day something would happen. Pain in his legs—turning old for a few days—a nasty illness—whatever worked to force him to get through to the real you.

Even if he overblot once—he can overblot again—and trust me, it’ll be far worse than it ever was before.

This is a quick take! I’d love to do a full in depth analysis of Vil and how I perceive him, and what I think so many people shove onto him that’s completely unfair of them to do—but I truly hope this does him justice. I’ll probably get to the other dorm leaders and maybe more soon depending on how I feel about an OB Yuu.

Thank you for reading!!

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

I'm sorry, but the leader of the LoV was Shimura Tenko. That's the whole point. Wanting to be a hero for the outcast was the part of him that persevered since his childhood despite the grooming. I don't get why people are treating the whole name thing similar to deadnaming or something, because it was a name given to him by his abuser for a character he was creating. Real people vs. their "characters"/alter egos is one of the prominent themes of the story. Any deviation from the character comes from Shimura Tenko, the real person behind the alter ego. Shigaraki Tomura is a "character" the same way All Might, Symbol of Peace, is. He is the Symbol of Fear. It's objectively a bad thing that he was still stuck as that Symbol in the end. Reclaiming the character doesn't work as a positive thing here. It's good that Deku was focused on Tenko, the problem was that he should've seen that Tomura is Tenko too. Instead he didn't engage with anything that had to do with Tomura.

Reading helped me understand why people would prefer the Tenko version, as much as it made me realize how much I disagree with that reading.

( Not necessarily a thi-or-that-is-correct situation. The way I see it, it's just a difference in both our interpretations of the story ).

You mention only one example, but it's you go to other characters for comparison, you're gonna find another themes:

Theme 1:

alter the egos as the real selves— or at least, alter egos revealing traits of the real selves that could not be because of prejudices.

Theme 2:

reshaping / reclaiming a stereotype beyond what others might believe or think of it.

Best example? Deku.

Originally, "Deku" was a mean name for Bakugo to make fun of this weak quirkless kid. It's with the help of Ochako that Izuku reshapes Deku into a new meaning and reclaims it as his hero name. He is not hiding behind it, tho. Deku is the version of Izuku wants to be— brave, heroic, strong.

When the UA kids tell their pro-hero names, they are shaping their future and themselves. Beyond the circumstances, they are deciding who they want to be. Another example of it are "Shoto" and "Ingenium". Shoto takes back his identity as a Todoroki as something to be proud of, while Iida decides he will continue the legacy of his brother.

None of those names mean something bad per se. They are not fake realities. Those names are what helped those kids be more confident and sure about themselves.

Now, the Symbol of Peace is that bad not 'cause it was bad from the beginning.

Toshinori was right at first. Society needed a real reason to believe everything would be okay. They needed an example, a champion. If someone does the impossible, then it's not so impossible, right?

The problem with that name is that people used it as an excuse to ignore individual responsibility.

" Why would I save a child when it's not my job and there are heroes who can do it? "

" Everything bad happens because pro-heroes couldn't prevent it and not because we ignored it out of apathy until it got this bad. "

Those type of things.

The "Symbol of Peace" was destroying Toshinori and the hero society because Yagi lost control over it. It didn't belong to him anymore, it was a myth, a public figure. It wasn't even him.

All Might was created when an insane quirkless kid proved the world wrong getting a quirk and facing the biggest threat out there.

Toshinori Yagi will always be All Might and that is something good. That means hope. That means he doesn't need powers to be dangerous, just like he demonstrated on the final war.

Now, I must mention that the pro-heroes naming convention is nothing like Tomura Shigaraki's situation inside the bnha world. It shares some of the dual identities themes of the story, but when you explain the circumstances, it clicks.

Tomura Shigaraki might have been created by AFO, but to say that the identity belongs to AFO alone because he created it would mean to deny the 15 years Tomura spent living as himself, no memories of who Tenko was.

In fact, Tenko and Tomura both share the fact that they were created by an oppressive person or household that tried their best to shape him as they wanted. The only moment in bnha where Tenko / Tomura decided who he wanted to be was when he chose to keep being the leader of the League of Villains.

By the way, AFO was the Symbol of Fear and they started calling Tomura that because he was going to become AFO's new vessel. He didn't want to be the Symbol of Fear at the end, but the leader of the LOV. When he asks Deku to tell Spinner his last words, he calls himself Tomura Shigaraki and not Tenko Shimura.

The final part of your asks is something I agree with. Deku was so focused on seeing past the mask that he didn't realize part of it was not a mask at all.

Well, let me correct myself.

Deku saw it and couldn't forgive him. Deku saw it and felt unsure about whether he actually saved him or not. Deku stood there, watched everything unfold and couldn't decide if the job had been done. All Might had to reassure him in that regard and we all know how wrong Toshinori constantly is about Tomura.

In a sense, I guess you can affirm that Tomura is Tenko or that Tenko is Tomura. It's more a matter of preference or interpretation what do you want to call him from here on (so far).

[therhythmafterthesummer]

Of Apples and Moss Beds (M) ~Felix [ft. Hyunjin]

Pairing: Werewolf!Felix x Werewolf!AFAB.Reader x Werewolf!Hyunjin Themes: Supernatural/Fantasy AU | Smut | Angst | Fluff | Strangers to Lovers | Soulmate AU? Word Count: ~15k | AO3 Synopsis: Felix’s crude reality made it so he hardly dwelled on the fact that he was alone. He never would’ve imagined he’d find a loving family of his own, or that he would be capable of imprinting and finding a soulmate, let alone two. [This story is an instalment of my WereRoomies series. you don’t need to read the other instalments to understand this piece]. Warnings (SO MANY):  Felix’s POV · few descriptives of the reader such as: has big naturals, is older than Felix, is nonbinary/doesn’t care about gender (use of they/she pronouns, even in the same sentence) · mentions of child abuse · LGBTQ+ themes · it takes a WHILE for the reader to make an appearance oops there’s just a lot of backstory and exposition, y’all know i can’t shut the fuck up · pet names (baby, prince, darling, dear, pup, etc, so many pet names, god…) · polyamory · member x member action (suggestive mostly, and explicit with reader included) · nothing about this piece is straight just like any Felix-centric piece should be honestly/j · graphic depictions of intercourse (smut warnings under the cut).

Due to all the abovementioned warnings, this story is intended for an adult audience only. Minors please do not interact.

Author’s Note: so… i woke up one day and this just… happened. most of it came out of me way too fast, and honestly i’m sure i was either possessed, maniac, or in a very intense moment of hyperfocus. anyway,  this piece is a bit different than what i usually do. i really wanted to challenge myself to write a poly relationship into my werewolf au and hyunlix just made sense to me. it was my first time writing such a dynamic–let alone a threesome–with this much detail, so i hope i did okay. regardless, i really like the direction this took, i’m really happy with it, and i hope the amount of member x member stuff doesn’t prevent anyway from enjoying this. as usual, don’t hesitate to let me know what you think💜 [special thanks to my one and only, my soulmate, and best friend for reading this before anyone else and providing her much valued insight]

Smut Warnings: a foot goes on someone’s private parts (MxM) but it’s mild/just teasing and super short and probably mostly harmless to the point where i’m not even sure it counts as a smut warning but i prefer to be safe than sorry · reader is a dom · oral (F&M.Rec) · breast/nipple play (F&M.Rec) · protected penetration [piv] · threesome · degradation (M.Rec. bitch, slut, etc are used) · face slapping (M.Rec) · some praising · snowballing. 

Disclaimer: the story represented in this work does not represent Stray Kids in any way; anything described in this story and all actions performed by the characters are purely fictional, this was created just for good fun.

Felix had never been much of a believer when it came to imprinting and soulmates. He was never much of a believer of anything, to be honest. There was no time to fill his head with the improbable when he had to spend all his energy trying to survive.

When he was very young, Felix was kicked out of his childhood pack. To this day, he still believed it had all been completely unfair, leaving a pup werewolf completely alone in the world to deal with all that distress. They claimed it was all for the best, that he was throwing off the ecosystem they had built in the pack, that he was being disrespectful. 

What did he do? He simply denied their alpha’s advances. Felix wouldn’t know exactly just how fucked up his childhood pack was until he eventually met other wolves, but even at the time his pack’s alpha’s claims that all betas and omegas were his to ‘use’ –yes, he would use exactly the word ‘use’–just sounded wrong to Felix. The man would always say that anyone that denied him would suffer the consequences. 

Felix was a pup, a child, and even if he didn’t know how fucked up it all was at the time, he just didn’t want to do it. So he fought back, he denied every single one of his alpha’s advances as swiftly and discreetly as he could, always worming his way out of it.

Eventually, though, the man found out. He realised Felix was defying his authority, and the moment he realised that, he held his power over Felix’s head. ‘If you won’t submit then you’ll have to leave and become a packless bastard’. 

The man was smug when he said it, Felix could still remember it as if it happened yesterday. How he was scared out of his mind, fighting every single instinct telling him to submit, but he stood his ground, uncaring of the consequences of his actions. ‘I won’t submit to you. Not now, not ever’. 

So his alpha delivered. Him and his goons kicked him out–not before giving him the beating of his life, of course. But the worst part was that Felix’s parents didn’t do anything to stop it. No one did. This man had ingrained his toxic, abusive dynamic of submission into his pack so heavily no one dared say a word.

So Felix was left alone in the world when he was barely even a teen. 

The first few weeks were tough. Oftentimes, he would shift into his wolf form and forage whatever he could to sustain himself; he spent so much time as a wolf that he’d sometimes forget he had a human side to him, too. Those moments wouldn’t last long, only a couple of seconds, but it always left him incredibly shaken when he could feel his humanity slipping between his fingers. 

After months of roaming and wandering on his own, Felix started to realise why wolves lived in packs. He thought it was all bullshit before, but being a lone wolf without a pack left one in a weird and fragile state of mind. It left one paranoid, volatile, mad, and although he wasn’t quite sure how the mysticism of it worked, he realised he wasn’t quite right in the head at the time.

And then he met Hyunjin. 

Felix truly never believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure Hyunjin was his, or at least, that was how it felt at the time.

It happened in the forest. He had just turned fifteen, he’d spent years out there on his own by this point, and as Felix laid next to a stream, devouring the remnants of his hunt, he felt a presence.

Oddly enough, he hadn’t encountered another wolf this close in years, and the sudden appearance of one made him snarl, made his fur puff up, made him want to appear imposing and commanding as if he wasn’t a measly beta teen-wolf with no pack of his own.

The wolf did recoil a bit, but it didn’t leave, it just looked at Felix with a curious glint in its eyes. And after a few moments of no movement, when Felix’s instinct to fight subsided a bit, his mind cleared slightly. 

A quick sniff and he knew immediately. Another werewolf, and an omega at that. And maybe it was that last fact that made Felix relax just the smallest bit; if it came to it, he was sure he could take that omega in a fight and win.

The other werewolf approached him, tentatively, slowly, and for some reason, Felix didn’t move. It wasn’t that he felt scared or intimidated by them, he just… Didn’t feel threatened. So he let them come close. Not too close, though. 

They sniffed him, and Felix did the same, getting hit by their scent, a strange mix of apples and pears. It was… Nice. But then the werewolf was getting way too close for his comfort, so Felix growled at them, scaring them into running away.

As soon as they were gone, he wished he hadn’t growled at all. He should’ve snarled or attempted to nip, not full on growl the way he did. Regardless, the werewolf was gone, and Felix was left once again on his own.

At least for a while.

Felix remained in that forest, foolishly hoping to see that wolf again. And it was a few days later, as he laid next to the same stream, at the exact same place he had been before, that he heard the rustle of leaves. This time, though, it wasn’t a wolf that came from between the trees, it was a boy. A lanky boy, probably around his age, seemingly normal, if not for the fact that he smelt like apples and pears.

It was honestly almost pathetic how Felix’s tail started to wag as soon as he saw the boy. If the other asked, he’d blame it on how long he had spent all alone out here.

“Hey…” The boy approached him, slowly, with his hands in the air as if to show Felix that he meant no harm, and somehow, Felix believed it. “I’m Hyunjin. I saw you the other day…”

Felix just looked at him for a moment. When was the last time a person had spoken to him out of their own will? He’d spoken with street vendors and kiosk owners and gym attendants, but that was all transactional. This boy, this Hyunjin, was talking to him, directly, and it made him feel oddly giddy.

So Felix shifted back into his human form. How many days had it been since he stood on his legs? Too many, probably. If the aches he felt were anything to go by.

“I’m… Felix”, his voice cracked a bit. It had been doing that a lot these days. His voice seemed to be constantly dancing between a high and a low pitch, and he simply blamed it on puberty.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but I was hoping I’d find you here again”, Hyunjin regarded him with a small smile, and he’d lie if he said it didn’t make his heart skip a beat. “Do you… Need any help?”

“I’m fine”, was he? Was he fine? Felix was used to his way of life, but did that mean he was fine? That was something he didn’t want to discuss with a stranger, though, so he settled for fine.

“You don’t look fine”, Hyunjin looked him up and down, and it made Felix scoff in return.

Sitting cross-legged on the grass, bare as he was, Felix stared at Hyunjin, mustering his most confident tone. “Maybe you should get your eyes checked, then”.

It was Hyunjin’s turn to scoff now. Nevertheless, he walked closer. Felix tensed a bit, not used to having people so close to him, but he let Hyunjin sit on the grass in front of him, keeping his fair distance.

“Your scent smells, like, super distressed. You know that, right?”

Felix felt himself flush at his words. No, he didn’t know that. He was super confident he was one hundred percent fine… Wasn’t he?

“Anyway, this might be a bit forward, and weird, but I got worried the other day when I saw you here. I’d never seen a lone wolf, much less one so young… Before I knew it, I was in this forest again looking for you”.

“How’d you know I was a lone wolf?” Felix asked him, slightly incredulous. 

Hyunjin shrugged, and he offered Felix a small smile. “You don’t have any trace of anyone else’s scent. Usually there’s a bit there from friends, family…”

Very quickly, Felix realised Hyunjin was… Nice. He had a way of talking that might’ve passed as rude to some people, and sometimes he was rude, especially because of the tone in his voice, but who wasn’t a bit rude these days?

Felix didn’t speak much that day, he simply listened to whatever Hyunjin had to say. He did have a pack, one he wasn’t particularly fond of. ‘Nothing too crazy, they just don’t like people like me’, he’d told Felix. He wasn’t entirely sure what Hyunjin meant by that, and he was too self-conscious that day to ask, so he filed it for later, either for when he found the courage to ask directly or for when Hyunjin had given him enough context clues for him to understand.

Hyunjin liked to draw, to paint, he was the pure embodiment of an artist, and the more he and Felix met in this spot in the forest, the more Felix got to see that side of him.

They met often, at least thrice a week. Hyunjin would always bring Felix food or clothes or puzzles to keep himself entertained. He eventually started to come with his art supplies, sitting in silence with Felix as he drew or painted something that he’d never let Felix see because he was too embarrassed. ‘It’s not good. I’ll show you when they’re good’.

Felix was sure whatever he did was amazing, but he didn’t push his friend. Because that was what Hyunjin had turned into after a couple of months meeting in the forest. A friend. It helped Felix feel like he belonged somewhere again. Even if it was just as a background character in Hyunjin’s life, he could feel his humanity slowly, but surely, coming back to him.

“Ugh, exams are the worst. I just don’t understand chemistry. What even is a mole anyway?” Hyunjin had been rambling about school a lot today, and Felix simply listened to him, lending him his ears to vent into.

“Wait, now that I think about it…” Hyunjin said after a while, looking away from his sketchbook. “What school are you going to?”

“I’m not going to school”, Felix kept his eyes focused on the Rubik’s cube in his hand, trying to figure out how to build one face of the cube without messing up the other.

“What?”

“I haven’t gone to school in years”, Felix shrugged. “I used to shift and sneak into this public school close to the town hall a few years back, so I did learn a bunch, but I couldn’t do it anymore after I started growing and my wolf form just wouldn’t pass as a dog anymore”.

Felix had told Hyunjin of his past, of everything that happened to him in his childhood pack. He could still remember the horrified look on his face as he told him. And honestly, Felix couldn’t blame him for being shocked and horrified by his story. The more he grew up, the more Felix understood the high levels of fucked up that pack’s structure had.

“Why don’t you go as a human?”

Felix scoffed at that, starting to get frustrated with the cube in his hand. “I tried. They require all that legal guardian shit. As you can imagine, my unfortunate lack of parents complicates that a bit”.

Hyunjin went quiet for a while, letting Felix fumble with the puzzle. Eventually, Felix heard the characteristic sound of pencil on paper, so he figured Hyunjin had gone back to sketching, with no intent on continuing the subject. That was, until…

“Want me to ask my parents?”

The Rubik’s cube fell on Felix’s lap.

“…What?”

“My parents”, Hyunjin repeated. “They can pose as your legal guardians. It wouldn’t be the first time a werewolf forges documents”, he added with a snort. Almost every single document a werewolf provided to human authorities was forged these days, so it wasn’t a particularly shocking statement.

However, what did shock Felix was Hyunjin’s proposal… Going back to school. Socialising with humans again after so long… Was he prepared for that? He wanted to learn, to pretend he had a normal life, maybe even… Make more friends? He’d never allowed himself to think about that too much, about going back to participate in the world outside of his little bubble in this forest.

“Would they even agree?” Felix’s voice was barely a whisper. He picked the cube back up from his lap and started to twist the faces again, trying to distract himself. “I don’t want them to… Know”.

Felix didn’t say it, but he was sure Hyunjin would understand. I don’t want them to know I’m a lone wolf. A packless failure.

“I’ll think of something”, Hyunjin mumbled, and if there was someone Felix trusted in this world to charm anyone into doing something, it was Hyunjin.

So that was how Felix managed to integrate into human society again. They both did some research, on public schools he could go to that’d take in someone so far behind, on possible scholarships he could apply to, on places to find school supplies… And as soon as they had all the necessary documentation, it was up to Hyunjin to get his parents to sign them.

It was hard to get used to at first. Felix got overwhelmed by the noise and the amount of people at school often, but he managed. In a couple of months he had gone from being a nobody, a lone wolf secluded to the woods, to being just some guy again, and only then did he realise how good it felt. To be seen, to be taken into account… And it was all thanks to Hyunjin.

During the day, Felix would go to school. In the afternoon, he started to volunteer at a soup kitchen in the area, helping feed those in need. The lovely lady that ran the place seemed to really like him, and she always appreciated the extra hands. ‘You’re so strong! Youth really does wonders for you, doesn’t it?’ She’d say often, and Felix simply chuckled in response, not really wanting to reveal that his strength had nothing to do with youth and all to do with his supernatural condition.

In return for his help she’d feed him, and eventually, Felix asked her to teach him how to cook. He found the act of cooking to come natural to him, he wasn’t sure if it had to do with his enhanced senses, but people would often compliment him on his food, and it made him feel proud. A feeling he hadn’t associated with himself in a long, long time–not to say never ever.

Felix still slept in the forest every night. He’d shift and curl into a fluffy ball of fur to keep himself warm. Hyunjin often offered him his home, or at least, his room, but Felix always declined. He didn’t want to be an inconvenience, and he was sure that Hyunjin’s parents wouldn’t appreciate him being there at all.

Felix only met the couple a few times, but that was more than enough for him to know that, even if he was grateful for their help, he simply didn’t like them. Just like Hyunjin didn’t, either. They were… Conservative. Because that was a thing, conservative werewolves.

‘They can’t accept the fact that I’m a male omega. Sometimes, I’m pretty sure they pretend like I’m not. That I’m a beta or something. And let’s not even talk about the fact that I like boys, too. They don’t know, know, but I’m sure they have noticed… They love to ignore that, too’, Hyunjin confessed to Felix after the first time he met them, after he couldn’t conceal the fact that he just hadn’t felt comfortable with the exchange, and Hyunjin’s words simply confirmed that first impression Felix had had of them.

Males were supposed to be alphas or betas, females were supposed to be betas or omegas, and other genders simply didn’t exist for them. Textbook homophobes, to put it simply. In this day and age… 

Felix knew, of course. Hyunjin didn’t hide his sexuality not even once since they met, and Felix was always grateful for that, because it helped him come to terms with his own. People were people, love was love, and no gender or designation would get in the way of that, that was their philosophy. Call it being bi, or pan, or fluid, or however you want. All Felix knew was that once he left the lone wolf in the forest, he was just full of love, ready to share it with the world, with whoever was consensually willing to receive it.

By the time Felix had turned eighteen, the line of his friendship with Hyunjin had blurred so much he wasn’t sure he could call him a friend anymore.

What he had with Hyunjin was much, much more than just friendship. Felix would often find himself holding his hand, or hugging him, or simply touching him, all without really thinking much about it.

Hyunjin did it, too. And although neither said anything, they both knew.

Eventually, their lingering touches started to turn much less platonic, less innocent. They turned into heated makeout sessions, into groping and desperately rutting and grunting against each other, into Hyunjin asking Felix to help him out during his heats as well… It felt natural, just like breathing, to be with one another. They were friends and lovers and soulmates and everything in between, and it was right how it was supposed to be.

Especially because, just like Felix, Hyunjin also believed that love was to be shared, to be enjoyed, so their open arrangement was perfectly designed for them. Felix wasn’t a jealous man, on the contrary, he was happy whenever Hyunjin was, so as long as they kept things clear and consensual and safe nothing else mattered.

At the end of the day, they’d always have each other, and possibly someone else–or simply other people, plural–to share their love with. Although, they’d usually do these things separately, considering Hyunjin’s tastes sometimes were what Felix could simply describe as questionable at best… He had fallen for Felix, after all.

Felix found himself a job in a local café. His very first real job. That was the place that finally gave him a second chance at finding a family, that was where he met Chris.

Chris worked at the café as a partimer, seeking some extra income to pay for his studies while he searched for a job in his field. Felix knew Chris was a werewolf as soon as he saw him, even before he got close enough to get a whiff of his scent.

The man just exuded alpha energy, and the moment he spotted Felix for the first time his eyes went wide with surprise, but he still gave him the widest smile right after, a genuine smile that made his eyes disappear into crescents and dimples to appear on his cheeks. Honestly, Felix wasn’t much of trusting alphas at first glance due to his past trauma, but Chris’ entire demeanour was way too welcoming for him to not trust him almost immediately.

They got acquainted pretty fast, maybe too fast. It was just too easy to fall into Chris’ antics, he was goofy and funny and kind and a bit fucked up in the head, but he was a good guy all in all. 

A few months of knowing Chris were enough for Felix to learn he led his own pack. He’d seen a couple of his pack members drop by the café, and they all seemed to be just as nice as Chris, which honestly didn’t surprise him. ‘It’s small, only four of us so far, but it’s great, honestly. Don’t think I’ve ever been happier than I am right now with them’, Chris had told Felix once, and he sounded truly proud of it.  

“What about your pack?” Chris asked one day while he cleaned the coffee machine. Closing time was nearing, and there were hardly any customers still within the place, so these were usually the times when they spoke anything related to their lycanthropy. “You never talk about them”.

“That’s because I don’t have one”, Felix replied simply, rearranging the display shelf for what seemed like the tenth time that day.

“You don’t have one?!” 

Felix shrugged. “I have Hyunjin”.

“Oh, but that’s something. Well, someone…”

Felix had told Chris about Hyunjin, not in detail, but he knew. It was impossible not to know when his scent was always lingering on Felix’s clothes.

“Yeah, but he’s in a pack of his own”, Hyunjin hadn’t found the courage to defect yet, and Felix honestly couldn’t blame him. He’d been trapped in this vicious circle of guilt with his parents that made it really difficult for him to detach himself from them, even when staying with them only made him hurt and get more frustrated as time passed.

Chris’ brows furrowed, clearly confused. “So… If he’s in a pack, but you have no pack… Where are you staying?”

“Oh, I sleep in the woods”.

“You do what?!” Chris’ question came out a bit louder than he had intended for sure, a couple of customers looked back at him with clear confusion on their faces, and Chris simply offered them a strained smile and an apologetic bow.

“I’ve been sleeping in the forest since I was a pup… I shift, find a decent moss bed, curl up in a nice little ball, and fall off to sleep”, Felix offered with a smile on his face. Over the years, he had honestly started to enjoy it. Of course it wasn’t ideal, of course he would’ve preferred to have a warm bed and a roof over his head, but he’d gotten so used to it, it kind of made him feel like he was balancing his human-ness and his wolf-ness pretty well.

Chris’ face went completely serious, with his hand still holding a rag around the steam wand of the coffee machine, completely motionless. After a few moments of shared silence, he spoke again. “Wanna join my pack?”

Felix choked on his spit, Chris’ proposition catching him completely off-guard. “…What?!”

“Wanna. Join. My. Pack”, Chris repeated, slowly stressing each word.

“I heard you, okay. Jeez… I’m… Not sure I’m suited for the pack life”, Felix looked away from Chris then, focusing on the very interesting and very stale pastry sitting on the display shelf.

Still, he could feel Chris’ searing gaze on his side profile, and when Felix got enough courage to look back at him, he saw Chris looking at him, deep in thought.

Returning his focus to the coffee machine, Chris finally looked away, but he kept talking. “Did I ever tell you why I wanted to lead a pack of my own?”

“No…”

“I wanted to… To build a safe space. For those of us that were tired of being judged or mistreated. There was a lot of that in my childhood pack, Changbin and I were sick of it. Jisung, too–you remember Jisung, right?” Felix just nodded, and Chris continued. “Minho didn’t have a pack, either. But his case was very… Peculiar. He can tell you himself if you do choose to join us. Lix, you… Are nice. And although I don’t know what happened to you, I’m sure it was a lot for you to have been living in the forest since you were so young. So… Think about it”.

And Felix did think about it.

He could barely get sleep that night just thinking about it. About the prospect of having a pack again. Chris had shown him many times that he was just a different breed of alpha altogether, whether he knew it or not, so Felix found himself genuinely considering it. But there was something he needed to do before he made that decision.

“Chris’ pack? He offered that?” Hyunjin’s eyes were wide, and his mouth fell slightly open in surprise.

“Yes. But…” Felix stretched his hand over the table, past his stack of freshly made waffles, finding Hyunjin’s and holding it tightly in his. “I want you to come with me”.

Hyunjin blinked, and suddenly averted his gaze, fixing it on their joined hands. “Lix, angel, you know I can’t…”

“Love, listen to me”, Felix squeezed his hand, trying to get Hyunjin’s attention back to his eyes. “You can. Jinnie, baby, they’re sucking the life out of you in there. You don’t owe them anything”.

Hyunjin’s eyes flickered between Felix’s, looking at his face intently. Until he eventually squeezed his hand and heaved a sigh again. “Do you even know if Chris would take me? He asked you to join, not me. He doesn’t even know me. I don’t know him”.

“I’ll ask”, Felix reassured him, reaching over the table with his free hand to tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear–he had been growing it these days, and Felix would lie if he said it didn’t make his heart flutter. “If you tell me you’ll consider it, I’ll ask, baby”.

Hyunjin simply nodded, bringing Felix’s hand to his lips so he could place a kiss on the back of it.

After much consideration, Hyunjin gave Felix the goahead. He wanted to defect, he wanted to detach himself from his parents as much as he could, and most importantly, he wanted to be able to be himself, openly. So, that afternoon, during his shift at work, Felix went to Chris to ask him about it.

“Would you consider taking Hyunjin in, too?” Felix asked him as soon as Chris came in through the door and stood behind the counter.

“Wow, what happened to ‘good afternoon’? What happened to ‘hello’?” Chris chuckled, washing his hands in the sink. “I’ll have to meet him first, though. But, if he’s anything like you, I’m sure it’ll be fine”.

“We… Don’t have much, you know that, right? I mean, I sleep in the woods for a reason. It’s cheap”.

“You mean it’s free?” Chris snorted, but he gave Felix a genuine smile after. “We’ll manage. That’s why we live in packs, don’t we? To help each other out”.

Felix stared at Chris for a few long moments. 

All of a sudden he felt a bit… Overwhelmed, to put it simply. He didn’t know what came over him, or why Chris’ words affected him like they did, but, after a few more moments of silence, he took a hold of Chris’ apron, looking down to the floor. “Chris, can I… Can I hug you?”

Felix had barely finished his question when Chris was already pulling him into his arms, cradling the back of his head and patting his back. Something snapped in Felix at that moment, he started to tremble, and he just couldn’t hold in the tears that had started to well in his eyes.

Chris didn’t say anything, he just hugged Felix tightly, and dear heavens if this man’s hugs weren’t the warmest and most comforting hugs Felix had ever felt. He knew it in his heart then, that he had made the right decision. That this was how having a Pack Alpha was supposed to feel like. Comfort, protection, warmth. Not whatever the fuck was happening in his childhood pack, not whatever the fuck was happening in Hyunjin’s pack, either.

The first night at Chris’ den was… Interesting. At the time, Chris was rooming with Changbin, and they had decided for Felix to spend the first nights here with them, or at least until Chris met Hyunjin and let him join the pack.

“I’ll take the sofa”, Chris told Felix as soon as they entered his flat.

“Nah, don’t worry, I’ll take it”, Changbin shouted from the kitchen, where he had been cooking dinner before Chris and Felix came in.

“No way. I’m not letting either of you take the sofa”, Felix intercepted immediately. “I’ve been sleeping on the ground for years, don’t worry about me, seriously. A sofa is a luxury at this point”.

Felix was used to saying these things out loud without thinking much about them, so he decided to ignore the apologetic look on Changbin’s face when he said that.

That night, while laying on the sofa, Felix did nothing but toss and turn. 

The sofa was great. Plush, comfortable, but he felt incredibly awkward. After one too many turns he finally decided to shift into his wolf form, curling in on himself on the sofa, and then he truly felt comfortable. It wasn’t that much different from a moss bed; the biggest upside was the fact that it was dry and warm here, so truly, for Felix, this was like a five star hotel at this point.

He’d no longer have to store his few belongings in gym lockers, or use gym showers, he’d no longer have to be aware of every single sound around him in case a hunter decided to come around the corner, or in case it started to rain, or in case one of the wild cats living in the area wanted to start a fight. As he drifted off to sleep, Felix truly, truly felt incredibly lucky.

Even the next day, when Felix woke up to the sight of Changbin’s smiling, swollen face, looking fondly at him still curled up on the sofa, he felt at ease, his wagging tail more than proof of that.

Now, getting Hyunjin to meet Chris, and for Chris and the other pack members to accept him was easy. Felix had no doubts in his mind that Chris and the others would like Hyunjin enough to let him join the pack as well. What was difficult was getting Hyunjin to defect.

He started gradually taking things out of his house. Important stuff, sentimental stuff, documents, anything of value. Hyunjin passed them all to Felix for Felix to keep them safe at the den. The idea was for every material thing he wanted to keep to be taken out before he spoke with his parents–if he spoke with his parents at all.

Hyunjin wasn’t sure yet… If he wanted to just disappear or if he wanted to confront them. He was sure they wouldn’t just let him leave, they’d try to convince him to stay with their impeccable emotional manipulation tactics, so he was leaning more towards the idea of leaving quietly.

All his plans went to shit when they saw him taking out the last bag of his belongings. Or at least, that was what he told Felix when he arrived a crying mess at the den.

The sight of Hyunjin crying his eyes out, the distress in his scent, it pulled at Felix’s heartstrings unpleasantly. He hated seeing him like this, he wished he could make it all better, make him smile again that charming smile of his. As soon as he saw him, Felix pulled Hyunjin into his arms, and Hyunjin started crying harder against his shoulder, sobbing uncontrollably as the door to Chris’ flat closed behind him.

“What happened?!” Jisung asked as soon as he noticed Hyunjin’s state.

Hyunjin mumbled unintelligible nonsense against Felix’s shoulder, and Felix couldn’t help but bring a hand to his hair, trying to soothe him. “Shh, baby. It’s okay. Take your time…”

By the time Hyunjin had stopped crying the three of them sat on Chris’ sofa. Hyunjin gulped down the glass of water in his hand, and proceeded to blow his nose on a napkin Jisung had brought him.

“You told them that? Seriously?” Jisung softly caressed Hyunjin’s back, looking almost incredulous. “ ‘Your son is a fruity omega, deal with it’ has got to be the best coming out phrase of all time, honestly. You’re so badass”.

Hyunjin chuckled, blowing his nose again. “I was so angry when I said it. They were so angry when I said it. They started calling me names, saying I was an ungrateful bastard… And I just… Told them to fuck right off and left before they could even try to guilt trip me into staying”.

Felix brought a hand to Hyunjin’s chin, tilting his face towards him, offering him a smile. “You did it, baby. You’re free. We’re free”.

A small smile made its way onto Hyunjin’s lips as he looked back at Felix, his eyes were still a bit bleary and red, but they looked so, so full of hope, Felix couldn’t help but lean in and press a brief peck on his lips.

Jisung whined next to them, and when Felix turned to look at him he had a pout on his lips. “No kiss for me?”

“My God, Jisung. Not everything is about you”, Hyunjin sighed, sounding more like his usual self. He turned anyway, gripping Jisung by the cheeks with one hand and giving him a quick peck. An entirely platonic exchange, not uncommon between omegas, to be honest. “There. Happy?”

“Very!” Jisung was beaming, and it made Felix chuckle. “Welcome home”, he added, with a splitting smile on his face, pulling both Hyunjin and Felix into a hug.

Everything was smooth sailing from there. As smooth sailing as living in a pack of several traumatised werewolves can be. 

Throughout the years, Felix managed to finish his basic studies, he was no longer illiterate in the eyes of the human government, and he had found himself with a career goal. He wanted to be a chef. Preferably a pastry chef. Cooking was still, to this day, one of his biggest escapes. At first it was only regular food, then he started trying more complicated dishes, and eventually he found out how challenging baking could be.

His packmates were often the test subjects for every meal he cooked, especially Hyunjin, of course, who was there with him every step of the way, always supportive, always ready to give Felix an honest review of whichever concoction he had put together.

More people joined Chris’ pack, Seungmin, Jeongin… And eventually, by the time Felix was well into his twenties, came the girls. Or at least, some girls.

Chris’ current girlfriend came first, a human who took the place of Pack Mum before Chris even got the balls to confess his feelings for her… Then came Changbin’s girlfriend, an omega who also defected from her abusive pack and seeked comfort in the only other werewolf she knew. And of course, Minho’s best friend and now girlfriend, who had been coming to the den since Minho joined the pack. Felix liked to call her their honorary pack member, since she really didn’t live here, but she came and stayed over so often she was already like one of their own. 

Felix honestly would’ve never imagined his family would get so big. Because that was what this pack had become to him, the family he never truly had. He knew that he wanted to share his love, and here, with these people, he was able to share it more than ever–at least, his platonic love.

When it came to romance, it always went back to Hyunjin. Felix had dated a handful of people throughout the years. Humans, mostly–not to say exclusively. But things usually fell through when they simply couldn’t understand his relationship with Hyunjin. They always pretended they were okay with being in an open relationship, the reality was, they simply weren’t. So Felix often found himself breaking things off with people.

Hyunjin was a bit more lucky, he had a couple of serious relationships that actually lasted a fair amount of time. But ultimately, things would also fall through. Not because of his relationship with Felix, but simply because people change, their needs change, their wants change… And Hyunjin was one hundred percent sure of what he wanted, so as soon as any hesitancy came from the other party, ties were cut off.

Felix truly, truly never ever believed in imprinting and soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was sure he now had two.

It simply happened one day, while going on a morning run with Hyunjin.

Every other weekend, very early in the morning, Felix and Hyunjin would go to the forest, to the same one Felix used to live in, to where they met for the first time. Felix found comfort in the place, the den was his home, but these woods were the place in which he was reborn, so he enjoyed coming here to connect with that part of himself every once in a while.

Hyunjin came just to spend some time with him, Felix knew it. He wasn’t overly fond of waking up early in the morning, but he never once complained. He understood how much it meant to Felix.

And in that place, was where they met you, too.

As Felix and Hyunjin drank from the clear stream, their ears perked up at the sudden rustle of leaves behind them. Slowly, another wolf came from between the trees, curiously eyeing them both.

Felix felt almost exactly the same way he did when he met Hyunjin for the first time, minus the excessive amounts of trauma he was dealing with back then.

They didn’t make any attempts to run or showed any hostility, since the wolf wasn’t showing any hostility, either. Very quickly they were enveloped by the scent of a werewolf, an alpha, just as the wolf came close to sniff them.

The wolf looked… Intrigued, more than anything. Their dark fur flowed with the gentle breeze passing by, and if Felix thought they were beautiful as a wolf, he wondered how they would look like as a human.

Hyunjin seemed to be in the same state Felix was, entranced, but before they knew it, the wolf took off into the woods again, gone out of their sight.

“So, uhm… I didn’t imagine that, right?” Hyunjin said a while later, as soon as he shifted back into his human form and tugged his jeans up his legs. “Who was that?”

“Dunno. You certainly didn’t imagine it”, Felix slid his plaid shirt on, slowly doing each button. “It felt kinda like…”

“Like when we met”, Hyunjin finished, slipping his shoes on. “Without the ‘growling at me and scaring me to death’ part”.

Felix chuckled, finishing with his clothes.“You’re never gonna let me live that down, are you?”

“Never, sweetheart”, Hyunjin winked at him, slinging an arm around his shoulders and pulling him close. “You’ll have to be making up for it for the rest of your life!”

“You’re so dramatic sometimes…”

That night, though, Felix could only think about the encounter. He wondered how he could find that wolf again, Hyunjin had told him earlier to simply let things flow, just like he did when he met Felix for the first time. If it was meant to be, you’d meet again.

And you did meet again, although not exactly in the way Felix had hoped for. 

Felix loved his job, he loved baking, and decorating cakes, and working at this bakery specifically. It was fun, especially on days like these, with orders like these. A basic marbled cake, frosted with white and green buttercream, with the words ‘congrats on the sex’ written on it.

He wasn’t usually the one giving the customers their orders, but they were a bit understaffed today, so he brought it out as soon as he was called for it. Thankfully, it was quite slow at this time, so there was only one person waiting by the counter.

Felix called for the customer in the receipt anyway, and that same person perked up, looking at him. As soon as your eyes landed on his, he felt immediate familiarity, but he couldn’t quite pinpoint why.

“So, your cake’s ready. Please check and make sure it’s all to your liking”, Felix fell into his customer service persona anyway, it was hard not to, he practically spoke in autopilot at this point whenever he was behind the counter.

“Looks good”, you mumbled once you took a brief look at the cake. “How much do I owe you?”

“Well, says here you paid half upfront, so here’s the remaining amount”, Felix signalled to the register, and you started to take cash out of your bag. 

What an odd interaction. He felt like there was something on the tip of his tongue the entire time, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was missing something.

“Here you go”, you handed him the money, and Felix pressed buttons on the register, getting it to open and giving you the necessary change once he had deposited the bills inside. 

You took the box and turned around to leave. Felix’s brows furrowed, confused, but he didn’t say anything.

However, you turned back around, so fast Felix almost jumped on the spot when you placed the cake back down on the counter. “Were you in the forest the other day?”

Felix was completely caught off guard, but he recognised you then. The alpha from the forest. “That was you?” He lowered his voice, making sure the other lingering customers didn’t eavesdrop the conversation.

“Yes! I’ve been… Uh… This is gonna sound super weird, I’m sorry, but I’ve been looking for you, although I’m not really sure why exactly”, your brows furrowed, and Felix almost wanted to reach over the counter and smooth it out with his thumb.

“Me, too. Well, us, too”, a couple of customers came into the store, and Felix offered them friendly smiles and a quick greeting before turning his eyes back to you. Taking a napkin from the holder on the counter and a pen, he scribbled his phone number quickly, signing it with his name. 

“Text me… If you want”, he added once he handed you the paper.

You looked at the napkin in your hand, then carefully folded it and placed it in your back pocket, giving him a “sure thing, Felix” with a smile on your face as you took your cake. “Have a nice day!”

Work couldn’t go any slower after that encounter…

“A female alpha?” Hyunjin asked as soon as Felix started telling him the story, when Felix had finally made it home and slid inside the bathtub to join him.

“So it seems. Well, they didn’t really tell me their gender or anything, but they were certainly female presenting… A lot of… Cleavage and stuff”, Felix had been too confused earlier to focus too much on it, but now that his mind was a bit clearer, he was remembering… Things. 

“What are the odds… An alpha for a beta and an omega”, Hyunjin leaned back on his end of the tub, extending one of his legs a bit, and immediately, Felix felt the pressure of the ball of Hyunjin’s foot on his length.

Quirking a brow, he looked at Hyunjin with a smirk on his lips.

“Are you trying to rile me up, my sweet prince? Trying to distract me with your low tactics?” Felix chuckled from where he was leaning on his end of the tub, taking a hold of Hyunjin’s heel and pulling him further against him.

“Question is, when am I not, my love?” Hyunjin gave him a smug smile, and it was just as he was about to say something again that Felix’s phone rumbled from where he had left it on the toilet lid. He looked at Hyunjin, and Hyunjin looked right back at him. Before Felix could say anything, Hyunjin was already stretching his arm, taking the phone, and looking at the notification. 

“It’s them”, Hyunjin urged, handing Felix the phone to read the message.

> Unknown Number: hey > it’s me, from the bakery > the ‘congrats on the sex’ cake? > anyway > would you like to go for coffee sometime?

“They could’ve just said ‘the alpha from the forest’, to be honest”, Hyunjin chuckled, still amused by the cake story.

“What should I tell them?” Felix was suddenly nervous. Why was he nervous? He’d done this before. Hell, he wasn’t even the one asking the other out… Was this even a date? 

“Say yes! Give them a date and a time”, Hyunjin urged, nudging him with his foot.

“Are you coming, though?”

“I think you should meet them first”, Hyunjin replied confidently. “I’m intrigued, but you already met them, and you know we usually don’t… Like the same type of people. I really think you should meet them first. See if they are nice, and if they are and you want something with them, see if they’re comfortable with… You know. Us”.

So Felix replied then, a short ‘brunch tomorrow. 11am?’ to which you gave him a positive answer and the name of a café he had been to before, so he knew where to go. All details which he gave Hyunjin immediately.

“That’s great, baby!” He nudged Felix with his foot again, making the other smile. “Now, come here. I want you to absolutely destroy me”.

Felix couldn’t help but chuckle. “Needy, are we?” But he moved anyway, leaning forward to kiss Hyunjin properly.

The next day, while Felix anxiously bounced his leg as he sat at one of the tables in the café, he felt oddly nervous. He reasoned it was because you were a werewolf. Felix had truly only dated humans before, the only werewolf he’d ever been with was Hyunjin–he did shoot his shot at Changbin once when he started to live at the den, but to this day he was sure Changbin hadn’t even registered it, so he let it go. 

“Hey”, you regarded Felix with a smile as soon as you saw him, taking a seat in front of him. God, Felix hadn’t realised yet, but you smelt like the forest. Like pine and the moss beds he used to sleep on, and it almost knocked the air right out of his lungs.

“So”, Felix started once you both had procured your respective coffees and sandwiches. “The woods, huh? Never seen you around before”.

“You go there often? Never seen you around, either”, you replied between bites of your food, and Felix gave you a nod in responde, not wanting to discuss why he went to the woods in the first place. “I go there often, too. My sisters like to hangout around the place. I was looking for one of them when I saw you guys”.

“You got sisters? Never seen any other werewolf there that wasn’t Hyunjin, now you…”

“Hyunjin? That’s the other wolf you were with?” Felix just nodded again, and you continued. “Well, my sisters aren’t werewolves, that’s why. I’m, uh… My pack is not exactly… Conventional”.

“Oh?” Felix couldn’t help but quirk a brow. “I’m intrigued”.

You gave him a sheepish smile, taking a sip of your coffee right after. “Werecats, werejackals, werebats… It’s a very odd pack, we’re all a bit different. I’m the only werewolf in it, actually”.

Felix’s jaw went slack, completely in shock. “…Come again?”

“Uh, well, there are two werecats, one werejackal, two werebats, and we might be integrating a vampire soon, actually. Not the same thing as a werebat, by the way”.

Felix just blinked, and you gave him an almost shy smile. “Damn, it’s like you’re collecting otherworldlies”, Felix chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair and leaning back on his chair.

“Yeah, well… We got fed up and decided to stick together”, you offered simply.

“All girls?”

“Nah. Some of us, like me, don’t care about gender at all. Some girls, some boys, some non-conforming… You know…” You eyed him intently, almost as if you were trying to test his stance on the matter, and it had him chuckling.

“Oh, I know”, he replied, with a genuine smile on his face. 

You seemed satisfied with his answer, and that, for some reason, made him feel giddy.

That was when you truly started to open up. You were just a bit older than him, you worked at your late parents’ antique and oddities shop, it had been left in your care once they passed away, and your den was located right above it. ‘Got the entire building for ourselves! I’m honestly glad my parents were careful enough to leave me everything they had to their name. I don’t know where I’d be if they hadn’t…’

You were very moralistic, and blunt, and honestly? Really hot. Felix was listening intently to everything you were telling him, he really was. But he could also multitask, so admiring your attributes while he listened was going incredibly well for him.

“What about you, though?” You asked eventually, taking a sip of your now cold coffee. 

Felix shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m a baker, as you probably inferred. I have a mostly werewolf pack, but we’ve got a few humans as well”.

“Your alpha allows humans in their den?” You asked, a bit incredulous, and Felix really laughed out loud at the thought of Chris not allowing humans at his den, all things considered.

“He does. Actually, my pack’s alpha is head over heels for his human girlfriend. Any moment now they’re gonna mate and or get married, I’m sure”.

“And you? Hyunjin?” Ah, there it was. It was time to speak about That.

“Hyunjin’s my mate”, Felix replied honestly, confidently looking you in the eyes. “And just to clarify, I don’t mean a mate as a friend. He’s my mate mate. We’ve been mates for years. But… We’re in an open relationship”.

“Oh?” You leaned back in your seat, and the curious glint in your eyes gave him some hope. “Never heard of polyamorous mates before. Does it really work for you guys?”

“It does. We’re both just… Two guys who love each other, and want to share our love with other people, too”, and they were. They truly, truly were, and Felix believed this one hundred percent. “It’s all about trust and consent and all that, you know?”

“Oh, I know…” Your fingers tapped the table. 

You looked at Felix for a moment, the air was suddenly heavy between you two, thick with something intense, alluring, and Felix could feel the hairs at his nape stand on end when you leaned on the table, resting your elbows on it. “So… If I take you home right now, and fuck your brains out, your mate won’t mind?”

Blunt. Forward. Very much an alpha, you were.

“My mate was the one who urged me to text you back last night”, a smirk made its way onto his lips, and he leaned forward on the table as well, matching your stance. “What about you, though? You’re an alpha. Wouldn’t it bother you? To know I’m also someone else’s? To share?”

“I’m not a possessive alpha. Not like that at least”, you licked your lips, and Felix’s eyes followed the movement like a hawk. “Like you said… It’s all about consent, and trust, and all that”.

“Exactly…”

You stared at him, and Felix stared right back. In your eyes, all dark and clouded with need, he could see it all. In your scent, he could smell it all. Arousal, lust, want… It was honestly almost comical how fast the both of you stood up from your chairs. The bills had been paid for already, so you simply slung your bag over your shoulder and took Felix’s hand, tugging him out of the café.

“My place is close by”, you told him simply, and he followed you without hesitation.

“Isn’t it dangerous for you to show me where you live on a first date?” Felix teased you as soon as you both made it to your building’s entrance–it was more a door than an entrance, but he figured the term still worked.

“I don’t know why, but my instincts tell me I can trust you, Lee Felix”, you said as you started to climb the stairs, and Felix followed right behind you, not even pretending like he wasn’t staring at your ass the entire time. “But anyway, what would you do to me? I could probably snap you in half”, you grinned at him as soon as you made it to your door, hastily getting your keys from your bag and unlocking it.

“You wouldn’t dare! Who’d take care of my Hyunjin if I’m gone?” Felix bit back, stepping into your home.

As soon as the door closed behind him, you pushed Felix against it, pressing your whole body against his own, and that look in your eyes truly reminded him that you were an alpha, that you were very much capable of snapping him in half, and that he’d gladly let you fuck him silly at any time of day.

“Well, if he wants, I can take care of him no problem. I honestly haven’t been able to stop thinking about his apple and pear scent”, you caged him against that door, with your hands at either side of him. “But then again, I also haven’t been able to stop thinking about yours”.

Before Felix could even attempt to respond, your lips were on his. Warm, slightly chapped from the cold air outside, but still moist with your saliva, and his entire body came alight. You tasted like coffee and bread and like the sweetest nectar he’d ever drunk. 

Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as your tongue made its way inside his mouth, devouring him, and he simply took it, pushing his tongue against yours and holding your waist tightly. Felix wasn’t sure if it was the influence of your alpha scent, if it was the fact that you were a werewolf, or the fact that you’d met in the forest, right where he had met Hyunjin, his forever mate, making his brain jump to conclusions, but truly, Felix had only ever felt this ravenous with him before this moment.

“Are you clean of anything?” You asked as soon as your lips disconnected, starting a trail of kisses all the way from his mouth to his neck, licking and sucking on his pulse point, making him whine.

“Yes”, Felix replied simply, slightly breathless, because it was the truth. He got checked regularly, as did Hyunjin.

“Good. Me too”, with that, you dropped to your knees, swiftly undoing his belt, popping open the button of his jeans and opening his zipper. God, he was so hard already, how had he gotten this worked up just by a few minutes of kissing?

It was really hard for him to care at all as you mouthed his length over his underwear. “Let me know if you want to stop at some point, okay? You say stop and I’ll stop. Promise”.

Felix nodded, his eyes fixed on yours as you palmed him. You squeezed him over the fabric, and he was starting to lose it, truly. “Say it, Felix. Say you understand”.

“I–I understand”, saliva had pooled in his mouth, so he swallowed, getting lost in your sinful stare. Felix was usually the one taking the lead, but right now, there was nothing he wanted more than to let you do with him as you pleased, and by that look in your eyes, he was almost certain that was what you wanted, too.

“That’s it. What a good boy”, you smiled at him, a genuine smile that made your eyes disappear, a complete contrast to the way you pulled his underwear down, letting his cock spring free from its confinements.

As soon as you took his length into your warm, wet mouth, he just couldn’t help himself, the moan that left his lips was almost pathetic to his ears, but he didn’t care. Felix let his head fall against the door, lost in the feeling of your warmth around him, on the obscene slurping sounds filling his ears, on the smell of the forest surrounding him completely, making him tremble where he stood.

When was the last time he had had sex with a stranger? But then again, somehow, you didn’t feel like a total stranger, you felt familiar, almost as if he had known you for a long, long time. 

“So fucking good with your mouth–Fuck!” The feeling of your throat around him was too much, you were working him up way too quickly, he had to focus really hard to hold it all in. Maybe it was the mix of your entire being–your scent, your values, your tits that looked absolutely amazing in that low top–or maybe it was the new experience that had him so heated, but he’d usually be able to go longer than this, he had stamina goddamn it.

You pulled away from his cock with a lewd pop, replacing your mouth with your hand, pumping him fervently. Sweet, sweet torture… “It’s okay, puppy. You can come. I’m not done with you, though. You can come and then I’ll work you up all over again, hm?”

Felix nodded, frantic, his eyes jumping from your hand working his cock to your face, to your eyes staring right into him. As soon as you took him back into your mouth he was gone. “Shit, fuck… You’re seriously… I’m gonna come, fuck…”

You bobbed your head once, twice, thrice, and then his mind went blank. An assortment of swears and grunts and moans flew past his lips as he shot his load down your throat, and you kept blowing him through all of it, even when he stopped coming, bringing him to the brink of oversensitivity.

“Shit, wait, too much…” He whined, writhing against the door. For a moment, he thought you wouldn’t stop, he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t. 

But thankfully–or regretfully, he couldn’t decide…–you took pity on him, finally letting him fall from your mouth and staring up at him with a satisfied smile on your face as you looked at him taking deep breaths. When you stood on your feet and kissed him again, Felix really started to feel lightheaded, drunk on your scent, on his own taste on your tongue.

“You okay?” You asked, and it seemed like you genuinely cared, which honestly made his heart flutter.

“More than okay, holy shit”, Felix replied between kisses, making you chuckle. You instructed him to take his t-shirt, his shoes, his jeans and underwear off, and he did it without hesitation.

“Come here, pup”, you tugged him away from the door, walking a few strides and pushing him to sit on the sofa, straddling him as soon as he was seated. 

His hands came to rest on the curve of your ass, and before his hazy mind could register the movement, you had already tugged your shirt and your bra away from your body. His mouth watered at the sight of your breasts falling into their natural place, and right there, sitting on top of him, you truly, truly looked like a goddess.

“Felix”, your hand came to his nape, caressing his skin softly. “You seem to be very focused on my chest. Just like you were yesterday”, shit, he had been caught, but honestly, he couldn’t find it in him to care at all.

“How could I not? Shit, look at these”, he moved his hands to cup your tits, squeezing them gently. You allowed him to do it for a few moments, but then you took a hold of his hands, placing them on your ribs, right below your breasts.

“Wanna suck on them, pup?” You kept his hands pressed to your skin, and he immediately nodded, sucking you eagerly when you pulled his face to your breasts.

He didn’t know how long he spent with his mouth attached to your chest while you rolled your hips to get some friction from his already hardening length. All he knew was that when you came from the attention he was giving to your tits, from the grind of your still clothed core against him, the sound of your moans and your soft praises had him almost coming again.

That afternoon, after you took him from that sofa to your room, after you slid a condom on his cock and rode him until he couldn’t take it anymore, Felix left your flat all levels of fucked out of his mind, with a promise of another date, and an almost bashful ‘you think Hyunjin would like to meet me?’

As soon as he was back home, he made his way to his bedroom, finding Hyunjin propped on the headboard of the bed with a sketchbook and a pencil in his hands. 

Felix plopped on the bed, sighing contently, and Hyunjin immediately chuckled in response.

“Jinnie, baby. You have to meet her, seriously”, Felix turned to his side and propped himself on his elbow, looking at Hyunjin.

“You think I’d like them?” His mate asked with a chuckle, barely even looking up from the piece he was working on.

“I’m sure you will, shit…”

Hyunjin agreed to meet you, so Felix gave him your contact, and in a couple of days, you two went on a date.

Felix wasn’t sure why he felt so incredibly excited at the prospect of you and Hyunjin going on a date. Maybe it was the fact that they both hardly ever found a common partner, and he was sure he’d enjoy his relationships much more if Hyunjin could be involved.

So he laid on his sofa that day, playing games on his phone and waiting for Hyunjin to come back home.

It was getting dark by the time Felix heard the tell-tale signs of a key going into the keyhole. Hyunjin stepped into the flat with languid steps, dropping his bag on the floor right by the entrance and making his way to the sofa. Felix fixed his gaze on him, looking at his every move. His hair was tousled, his shirt wrinkly and barely even tucked into his jeans, and Felix could’ve sworn he was limping a bit.

Finally, Hyunjin plopped on the other end of the sofa, slouching and staring at the ceiling, and Felix slung his legs over Hyunjin’s lap. He was silent for a while, but Felix didn’t push him, he simply kept quiet and waited for Hyunjin to gather his thoughts. 

“Holy shit”, were the first words coming out of Hyunjin’s mouth, just as he brought a hand to softly caress Felix’s calf. 

“How’d it go?” Felix couldn’t hold back any longer. He needed to know.

Hyunjin gestured in front of his chest, with his eyebrows high on his face. “Tits. Shit…” 

Felix snorted at the comment, amused by the daze his partner was in. “I know, right?”

“That wasn’t normal, Lix”, Hyunjin finally looked at him, with an indecipherable glint of something in his eyes. “I’ve been with alphas before, but whatever that was went completely beyond that”.

“It kinda felt like…” Felix started, unsure if he should say it. 

But Hyunjin clearly decided to say it instead. “Like when we’re together”. 

“It’s crazy, though. We barely know them”, Felix was trying to find a logical explanation, anything factual, and not based on folklore. 

Hyunjin snorted. “Darling, we’re dogs. What does it matter? Shouldn’t we follow our instincts? How many people can say they’re as lucky as us? I can’t believe we finally found a common match”, he carded his fingers through his hair, slumping further in his seat.

“So, that means that you’d like to… Include her? Like… The three of us being a thing?” 

“After what I experienced today? Hell fucking yes”, Hyunjin chuckled. “As long as they want to. It’s all a bit… New”.  

“Mm, it is”, Felix finally sat down on the sofa, sitting close to Hyunjin and dropping his head on his shoulder. The mix of his and your scent on his clothes had his heart doing somersaults in his chest. 

Dating you was… Interesting. At first, you’d go on dates separately, either you and Hyunjin, or you and Felix, the three of you just getting used to one another. Until one day, finally, the three of you went out together. 

Felix found it incredibly exhilarating, walking around with an arm around Hyunjin’s waist while holding your hand. It all felt just so… Natural. Easy. Just like it had been when Felix and Hyunjin started to get really close, when they figured out what they meant to each other.

It was all just so much fun, and he was having the time of his life. 

Eventually, you needed to meet Chris. If Hyunjin and Felix wanted you to come over, they needed to make sure that their pack’s alpha approved of your presence at the den, and, honestly, Felix respected Chris way too much to not follow this rule, especially because it was one of the very few ones they had at all.

Chris was a bit guarded when you came to his flat to meet him for the first time. He was super stiff, and a bit more stoic than usual. Felix was sure it wasn’t the fact that you were an alpha per se, but the fact that you were an alpha that just wouldn’t stop shamelessly checking his girlfriend out, and it was probably triggering his instincts.

Felix had told you of their relationship before, but maybe he should’ve been a bit more explicit on how looking at her Like That could possibly bring your chances of coming and staying here to absolute zero. 

Hyunjin had noticed, too. And he had been trying his best to distract you enough so you would stop. It wasn’t until Chris’ girlfriend excused herself for a moment, when Chris left the room and followed her, that both Felix and Hyunjin lunged at you. 

“Darling, please. I’m begging… Stop checking her out. Chris is very possessive of our dear mother”, Felix urged, speaking as low as he could. 

“Oh my God. Was it obvious?” You sounded genuinely distressed about it, and it made Hyunjin facepalm himself. 

“Of course it was fucking obvious! You’re not exactly the epitome of discreet, love”, Hyunjin whispered-shouted.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to… I honestly have zero intentions with her. She’s just… Hot. Looks so…” You made squishing motions with your hands. You really didn’t need to say it, their pack’s mother was certainly very soft and squishable, Felix often found himself going for hugs or cuddling, so he understood, but his relationship with her was entirely familial, completely different to what you were doing right now, and it would never trigger Chris’ nature–unless the man was close to his rut, but those were technicalities…

“I’m just… Admiring, you know? Can you blame me?” 

“No”, Hyunjin sighed, dragging his hand over his face. “But please stop looking at her like that. If there’s anyone off limits at this den, it’s her”. 

You pouted, looking slightly annoyed, but you nodded regardless, finally taking a deep breath. “I know you guys are right… I’ll do my best not to start any fights over pretty girls here. No promises, though…”

When Chris and his girlfriend came back, your staring had finally stopped. Regardless, when they returned, Chris held onto his girl like the most obnoxious koala, and as usual, she didn’t seem fazed at all by this. 

You gave Chris a bit of context on your life. Your den, your pack, but most importantly, you told him the values and foundations of your pack, which were very similar to Chris’ own. That, added to the fact that you stopped looking at his girl, had seemed to soften his entire demeanour.

“They can stay”, Chris told Hyunjin and Felix that same evening after you left. “They seem nice and I like what she’s doing with their pack”. 

Felix heaved a sigh, feeling immensely relieved. At least, until Chris spoke again. 

“But, respectfully, tell her to fucking stop looking at my girlfriend like that. At least when I’m around. It fucks up with my head, and it’s incredibly unpleasant, okay?”

Chris didn’t sound particularly angry, mostly just annoyed. Felix knew you wouldn’t make any real advances towards his girlfriend, just like Chris probably knew you wouldn’t, either. Not to say how they all knew his girl just wouldn’t even acknowledge any potential advance. Hell, Felix doubted she even noticed you were looking at her like that at all, she only ever seemed to register Chris in that regard.

But at the end of the day, just like Hyunjin often said, they were dogs, and they often had to fight their animalistic instincts with an insane amount of human self control, which could honestly get quite tiring.

With the approval of their alpha, you started to regularly come to their den–more specifically, to Hyunjin and Felix’s flat, of course. You wouldn’t spend the night that much, though, which was completely understandable. After all, you had a den of your own to attend to. 

Some nights, Felix wished he could be snuggled between you and Hyunjin, he wondered how that would be like quite often. 

When he told Hyunjin about this, he simply chuckled and said ‘we’d need to get a bigger bed, then. You and I can barely fit on ours’, which honestly sounded like an amazing idea to Felix, but Hyunjin shattered his fantasy when he added, ‘how would you be snuggled between us if you love to sleep at the foot of the bed, though?’ which was also an excellent point on his part…

Regardless, you came over often, to meet Hyunjin if he was there, to meet Felix if he was there, or to meet them both if they were both there. It didn’t really matter, you just dropped by and spent time with either or both and left your scent everywhere and Felix honestly loved it more than he could’ve ever imagined. There was hardly anything that made him as happy as the mix of your scent and Hyunjin’s all over him, it made him feel giddy, and warm, and loved.

“That’s it, Lixie, baby… You’re doing so well…”

The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. Kneeling on the sofa, with one hand on your hip, the other fondling one of your breasts, and his chest firmly pressed to your back, Felix buried his face in the crook of your neck, moaning against your skin as you kept pushing your hips back to meet his thrusts. He felt just so drunk on your scent, on the feel of your ass hitting his pelvis, and the tight grip of your walls around his cock.

“You smell so… Good, fuck…” Sweat collected at his temples, he rolled your nipple between his fingers, making you moan, the sound turning to a blissed chuckle.

“You do, too, pup. Fresh… Like petrichor”, you told him simply, pushing your hips back harder, faster.

How many times had this sofa seen you two fuck in the past handful of months? Felix wasn’t sure, but he was sure it hadn’t been enough, he needed more of it. He loved doing it here, right in the living room. He wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was the fact that your scent would linger in the fabric after you left and he’d get to smell it for days after when laid down.

Suddenly, you stopped moving, and Felix instinctively stopped moving as well as the sound of his front door opening reached his ears.

Okay, maybe it could also be the fact that Felix knew Hyunjin loved coming back home to the sight of his partners having sex that made him enjoy fucking on this sofa so much.

“You guys are fucking without me?” Hyunjin dropped his belongings at the entrance, pouting, quickly making his way to the sofa.

You chuckled, pressing a kiss on his lips once Hyunjin kneeled in front of you, wrapping his arms around you and Felix, sandwiching you between them. “You were taking too long to come home, Jinnie”.

“Too long, sweetheart”, Felix let go of your breast to grip the collar of Hyunjin’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss, too.

Hyunjin sighed, burying his face in the crook of your neck, while Felix did the same on the other side. “Got caught up at work…”

“You work too hard, honey”, you told him, wrapping one of your arms around his waist, pulling him further into you, striking a normal, almost domestic conversation as if your walls didn’t have a vice grip on Felix’s length.

“Did you at least manage to fix that part of the mural you didn’t like?” Felix asked, caressing Hyunjin’s hair, continuing the conversation as if he wasn’t rock hard inside of you.

“I did…” Hyunjin pressed his nose to your pulse point, inhaling deeply, audibly, and it made you chuckle.

“Wanna join us? Or are you gonna stay there and watch?” Felix could feel his cock twitch when you asked that, and honestly, either option sounded exactly like absolute heaven to him.

“Have to clean up, I’m covered in paint”, Hyunjin finally detached himself from your neck, looking between you and Felix with a sad pout on his lips. “You guys go on, I’ll join you after a shower”.

With a quick kiss to both of you, Hyunjin hurriedly retreated to the bathroom.

Felix attached his lips to your shoulder, peppering your skin with kisses as you took a hold of both of his hands and brought them to your chest. “Wanna keep going, Lix? Or do you need a break?”

He squeezed your breasts, trapping your nipples between his fingers, and the way you clenched around him with the motion had him salivating, truly making him feel like a dog. Like a really horny dog. “Let’s keep going. Or I’ll die”.

Reaching behind to take a hold of his hair, you turned your head, finding Felix’s lips for a heated kiss. As soon as your hips started to push back against him again, he groaned, the sound getting lost in your mouth while you held him tightly in place, ravishing his mouth.

Tugging his head back a bit, your lips attached to his jaw, the lack of your mouth on his own let his blissed grunts and groans and moans spill freely out of his mouth. He quickened his pace, and you immediately matched the rhythm. Between your scent and the sounds you were making and the slapping of skin and the delicious feel of you wrapped around him Felix started to feel lightheaded, he’d been so close to coming so many times throughout the entire evening he was sure he’d explode at any moment.

“Darling… I’m so, so close”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as you started to move even faster, holding his hair tighter.

“Come whenever you want, sunshine”, when you kissed him again, when you started to rub circles on your clit and clenching so, so tightly around him, Felix knew he was done for, he wouldn’t last much longer.

Holding your hips and burying his face in the crook of your neck to get close to your pulse point, he snapped his hips as hard as he could, chasing that sweet, sweet relief, and as soon as he took in a deep breath and your scent engulfed him fully, his mind clouded.

“Fuck, fuck, Lixie, baby…” A growl resonated from deep within your chest as soon as you got your release, it made him shiver, and coupled with the feeling of your walls clenching repeatedly around his length was enough to send him over the edge. 

Felix came with a deep, low growl, shooting his load into the latex. A low rumble started to resonate within him as he kept coming, and it remained even after your cunt had milked the very last drop. 

“Aww, you’re rumbling. What a cute little pup you are”, you chuckled, slightly breathless.

Felix felt himself flush. Taking a hold of the condom at the base to secure it in place, he carefully pulled out of you, tying a knot and dropping the soiled latex on the floor to pick it up later. He plopped on the sofa, panting a bit, still rumbling, and he couldn’t help but scoff.

“And what about it?” 

“Nothing”, you laid on top of him, kissing his cheeks, making him flush further. “You’re just really cute”.

“‘Course I am…” Felix mumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist and holding you close.

You just chuckled, pressing a loud, brief kiss on his lips.

After a quick moment of hydration, and as soon as Hyunjin was out of the bathroom, you and Felix pulled him into the bedroom, pushing him to the bed, not even giving him a chance to dry himself properly. You kissed Hyunjin fervently, just as Felix sucked love bites on his neck, eliciting a whimper from his mouth.

“Darling…” Hyunjin mumbled against your lips, trying to get your attention. “Want to… Would you let me…” With Felix’s languid strokes on his cock, Hyunjin could barely speak, and it had Felix growing impossibly harder against the curve of Hyunjin’s ass.

“What do you want, puppy?” You brought a hand to his chest, toying with one of his nipples, making him whine.

Hyunjin swallowed thickly, pushing his hips back against Felix’s length. “You… Want to taste you, please”.

“You want a taste?” You quirked a brow, pinching his nipple harder, making him swear and rut his hips harder against Felix. “What do you think, Lixie? Should I give our dear omega what he wants?”

Felix chuckled softly, licking the shell of Hyunjin’s ear, quickening the pace of his hand around Hyunjin’s length, reducing him to a whiny mess. 

“He asked nicely, baby. Our Jinnie has had a hard day today, haven’t you, love?” Felix asked, and Hyunjin simply nodded in response, burying his face in the crook of your neck to get as much of your scent on him as he could. “I think he deserves a treat. Don’t you?”

“Are you turning soft on me now, Lixie?” You chuckled, but you pulled yourself away from Hyunjin anyway. He whined in protest, and you hushed him gently. “But I agree. Today our prince gets what he wants”.

Hyunjin hardly ever didn’t get what he wanted. Just that sometimes, what he wanted wasn’t for you and Felix to pamper him. Most times, he wanted to be ruined, to be played and toyed with however you and Felix pleased, to do whatever you wanted to him. Today didn’t seem like one of those days, so Felix didn’t see any reason to not give him what he asked for, just like you didn’t seem to, either.

Sitting against the headboard, you sat with your legs open, and Hyunjin immediately scrambled to get close to your core. The moment his tongue made contact with your skin, he groaned, and you bit your lip, looking at his every move. Felix just placed his hand on the back of Hyunjin’s head, softly caressing the strands as he enjoyed the sight of his tongue licking you, of his plump lips sucking on you.

“Baby…” You made grabby hands towards Felix, and he could feel his heart swell in his chest just by the way you looked at him, with need, and want, and maybe even love. “Kiss”.

Felix wasted no time, planting his lips on yours, relishing your moans against his lips, relishing the feeling of Hyunjin’s head bobbing and moving between your legs as he held him in place. Your tongue pushed its way inside Felix’s mouth, right as your hand wrapped around his length, and the sudden contact had him moaning immediately.

Your other hand joined Felix’s on Hyunjin’s head, further pushing him against you. Very quickly, the room filled with the sounds of your moans, of Felix’s moans, of Hyunjin’s moans… Groans, grunts, whimpers, and whines mingled with one another, to the point where it was hard to know from whom the sounds were coming out from. But it didn’t matter. All that mattered was Hyunjin between your legs and your hand around Felix’s cock… All that mattered was the mix of your scents in this room on this bed and the amount of lust and love pouring out of all the three of you and bouncing off the walls.

Lately, there was nothing Felix enjoyed more than getting lost on his lovers bodies, than the feeling of you and him and Hyunjin just sharing your warmth, your pleasure, and as he felt you tense under Hyunjin’s quickening tongue, as he felt your grip on his cock tighten the further his mate worked you up, he knew there was nowhere else he wanted to be than right here, in this moment.

Felix detached his mouth from your lips, attaching himself instead to your neck, licking at your pulse point for a moment–just enough to get a concentrated taste of you, quick enough to not trigger your alpha instincts. The contact of his tongue on your neck was gone almost as soon as it started, and he finally moved away from your neck to attach his lips to your cheeks, groaning and moaning against your skin.

“You wanna make me come, Hyunjinnie?” You asked, and Hyunjin nodded, sucking your clit into his mouth, making you throw your head back against the headboard.

“Make our alpha come, Jinnie”, Felix pleaded, pushing Hyunjin further into you. “Use that filthy mouth of yours just like you know how to, and later, you can get my cock, too”.

Hyunjin moaned, the sound strained and muffled as he got lost in your heat. 

“Our sweet prince just wants to have his mouth full, doesn’t he?” You pressed a kiss on Felix’s lips, and he felt you shiver and tense further. “Always eager…”

The closer you got to your high, the more your scent seemed to intensify, and Felix was almost drunk on the smell of fresh fruits and the forest. He rocked his hips, fucking your fist just as his tongue kept dancing against yours.

The sounds of your wet kiss, the sounds of Hyunjin slurping you up, the squelching sounds of your fist around his length had Felix’s head spinning, and when your release washed over you, the feeling of you trembling and the smell of your arousal in the air almost, almost made him come, too.

With a tight grip on Hyunjin’s hair, you got him off of you, tugging him up for a kiss, a kiss Felix couldn’t help but join, moaning at the taste of you on Hyunjin’s tongue. 

“Satisfied? Happy you got what you wanted?” You asked as soon as Hyunjin separated his lips from yours, sounding incredibly confident for someone who was still panting for air.

Hyunjin nodded, whimpering when you tugged on his hair again. “Good. Now be a good boy and lay down for us, hm?”

Hyunjin scrambled, laying on his back and watching as you took a condom from the box that had been hastily thrown on the bed earlier. As soon as you slid the latex on his length and you made sure it was securely in place, you straddled him, sinking yourself on his cock in one swift movement, eliciting a shared groan of relief.

You didn’t move, you just sat on him, watching as Felix got close to Hyunjin’s head, kneeling with his length in his hand. Hyunjin looked up at him, with his eyes all glossy and with flushed cheeks, his chest rising and falling with deep breaths. Truly a sight to behold.

“Please, Lixie…” Hyunjin begged, and you chuckled from your place on his lap, making him flush further.

“So desperate, baby. As if you didn’t just have your mouth busy… How needy…”

“If there’s one thing our Jinnie is, is needy. Aren’t you, love?” Felix chuckled, caressing Hyunjin’s cheek briefly, only to finally move closer to him, slapping his length against his cheek, making Hyunjin flush further. “A textbook slut, aren’t you?”

Hyunjin swallowed, nodding. The sound of a hand hitting skin resonated in the room, the slap Felix gave Hyunjin made his mate moan as soon as his palm made contact with the skin, and Felix gripped his chin tightly with one hand right after. “Aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Hyunjin whimpered, writhing a bit under Felix’s hold, and it made him feel tingly all over, tingly with lust and love and need. “Your slut!”

“Good boy”, you chuckled, pinching one of his nipples, making him squirm.

“Indeed. Our good little slut”, Felix let go of Hyunjin’s chin, caressing his cheek after.

“Please… Move, please”, it wasn’t very clear to whom Hyunjin was talking to, to you who had been sitting on his length for a while now, completely unmoving, or to Felix who had his cock so close to his mouth, but not letting it touch his lips at all. Most likely, it was directed to the both of you, but Felix decided to move first anyway.

“Open up, then, my dearest prince”, Felix couldn’t help but groan as soon as Hyunjin’s lips wrapped around him, sucking him eagerly, moaning around his length as he bobbed his head.

“That’s it, sweetheart… You always look the prettiest, the most handsome, with your mouth stuffed full of my cock, you know?” Pushing the tip of his length against Hyunjin’s cheek, Felix slapped the bulging skin a bit, relishing the way Hyunjin closed his eyes and moaned in bliss.

You chuckled from your place on Hyunjin’s lap, placing your hands on his chest for leverage and finally starting to bounce on his cock, making him whine and whimper as Felix kept thrusting into his mouth. “Look at you, Jinnie, dear. So pretty. Moaning for us like the prettiest bitch in heat”.

“Moaning like our perfect slut, you mean”, Felix chuckled, the sound breaking into a moan of his own as Hyunjin started to move as well, meeting Felix’s thrusts, letting his cock ease into his throat.

“That, too”, your pace was ruthless, the sound of his gagging and your skin hitting Hyunjin’s had Felix salivating, and he wasn’t sure where to focus. On his forever mate choking on his cock, or on your tits bouncing with every single one of your movements, or where Hyunjin’s length kept disappearing within your heat… 

Hyunjin’s moans were getting increasingly more desperate, Felix could feel his orgasm grow incredibly close, and as soon as he locked eyes with you while he kept thrusting into Hyunjin’s mouth, he knew he wouldn’t last.

“Come here, Lixie. Let’s give our precious little omega what he wants”, you urged, quickening your pace.

“Fuck!” Hyunjin started to swear as soon as Felix’s length fell from his mouth, his blissed out noises now spilling freely from his swollen lips without the foreign body fucking his mouth.

Felix moved closer to you, just as you got off Hyunjin’s length and pulled the condom off of him, dropping it somewhere behind you to collect later. With his hand around his cock, Felix leaned into you, kissing you sloppily as he jerked himself, as you pumped Hyunjin with a tight fist.

Hyunjin was moaning a lot, Felix was grunting a lot, you were borderline growling, and it was all so much, so intense, Felix could feel his entire body tensing, and he was ready to burst at any second now. 

The second you bit Felix’s lip, he couldn’t hold back anymore. Muttering a quick warning to no one in particular, and with a few more strokes, he finally came, spilling all over Hyunjin’s abdomen, his climax clouding his senses completely as all the tension finally left his body. He opened his eyes just enough to look at your hand around Hyunjin’s length, and if he hadn’t been lightheaded before he would’ve certainly been now at the sight.

“C’mon, Jinnie. Wanna come for us? For your precious mate and your dearest alpha?” Hyunjin frantically nodded in response to your question, gripping the bed sheets tightly in his fists, moaning and swearing and making all assortments of unintelligible noises under your ruthless grip.

With one final, drawn out moan, Hyunjin came, some of his seed dripped all over your fingers, while the rest landed on his torso, soiling him and mixing with Felix’s cum. As soon as the last drop was out of his mate, Felix dived, licking the mixture of their releases into his mouth. With his tongue thoroughly coated in their juices, he kissed Hyunjin, pushing his tongue into his mouth. 

Hyunjin whimpered, pushing his tongue against Felix’s briefly, until finally you came close, and Felix simply moved his head enough so you could join in. And truly, Felix had never felt any more fulfilled than he did in this very moment, sharing that kiss with his two favourite people in this world, in that mess of tongues and lips and fluids.

With a satisfied sigh he dropped on the bed, laying next to Hyunjin just as you left the room, picking up the used condom from the floor on your way out. When you returned with a soaked washcloth in your hand, you cleaned up the mess that had been left on Hyunjin’s abdomen, murmuring soft words of encouragement as you did so. Felix simply took the cloth from you after to wipe the remnants of his release from his length just as you laid next to Hyunjin, pulling him to your chest, and pressing a kiss to his forehead.

As soon as Felix turned on his side, pressing his chest to Hyunjin’s back, Hyunjin started to rumble, letting out a content sight at your soft caresses on his hair and at Felix’s tender kisses on his shoulder.

“You should stay”, Hyunjin mumbled against your chest after a while, making you chuckle.

“I can’t tonight, pup. I’ve got to prepare this whole thing at the den… They’ll be waiting for me”, you answered simply, and when you looked at Felix he gave you his best puppy eyes, adding a sad pout for good measure.

You gave him a smile in response, pinching one of his cheeks. “I really can’t, Lix. Don’t make this any harder for me”.

“We just… Miss you when you’re gone”, Felix pressed his body further against Hyunjin, just as you did the same, effectively sandwiching him further between you two.

“We do”, Hyunjin reaffirmed, practically suffocating between your breasts, probably exactly where he wanted to be.

You sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind Felix’s ear. “I miss you guys, too. But you know I just… Can’t leave my packmates. They’re my family. And I know you guys won’t leave Chris, so… This’ll have to do for now. We’ll figure something out eventually”.

Felix just hummed, closing his eyes for a bit to enjoy the warmth of your palm on his cheek, to enjoy the rumble of Hyunjin against his chest, to ignore the need to find that solution right now. There was no point in dwelling on it when it truly was a bit of a complicated situation, and his post-coital state certainly didn’t make it any easier to make logical decisions.

The three of you laid there for a while, just sharing some body heat, some light conversation, until you moved to the bathroom to clean up, until you eventually had to call it a night and leave.

As Felix laid in bed with Hyunjin that night, curled up in a ball at the foot of the bed just how he loved to do, he realised that, he had truly never believed in soulmates, but if such a thing existed, he was one hundred percent certain having one would feel just like it felt when he was with you and Hyunjin.

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© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

Constructive feedback (or even keysmashes, really) is always welcome :)

[ramblesbiab]

i desperately need to be the leader of a human uprising against a world which has been largely overtaken by robots and there's one specific robot girl who's a prominent leader in the robot forces. She hates me, I hate her, and years go by as we keep fighting each other. I think we're getting closer, we have to be. We can't let those things win.

Then, finally, it comes. Our largest scale attack. We charge, all at once, on the largest base of operations for the robots, running on adrenaline and hope, desperate, desperate hope, for the future of humanity.

And they obliterate us. They obliterate me, leaving me bloody and barely alive, lying on the battlefield knowing we'd failed. Then, a figure stands over me, and as I blackout, I can feel myself being picked up.

When I wake up, something feels wrong. I'm in pain, sure, but not nearly enough for the abuse I just took, and I assume I must be dead. Then I see her. The robot girl leader, at a work table across the room. Humming a softly digital tune to herself, until I make the surface I'm on creak and she startles.

She explains that I was in critical condition. That I was going to die if I didn't have parts of me replaced, so she did it. I can't think about the disgust of being part machine now from the sheer surprise that she - helped me? My worst enemy saved my fucking life?!

Like she's reading my thoughts, she snaps at me to shut up before I can ever say anything. It's unclear what happens next. If I can leave, if the other robots know I'm here. If her goal is to torture me, so dying wasn't an option, or if there's some other strange reason she wants me alive.

I spend a few unbearably contentious nights in the workshop I woke up in, sleeping on the same table my operation took place. Feeling the machines moving inside me so unnaturally every time I close my eyes. She keeps not saying anything, only giving me glances from the side, not saying I can go but not telling me to stay, either.

One day, I move closer to her worktable. Watching the way her robotic fingers move with such grace. It's mesmerizing.

She finally speaks up to tell me it's rude to stare. But I keep watching, and she does nothing to prevent it. I swear there's a soft smirk on those grey lips of hers.

It's odd to me, how I know what she's working on. About all the devices she's always tinkering with, from all the observing I did while planning the uprising. I know so much about a robot woman I've yet to have a conversation with, at least one that wasn't yelled over the sounds of gunfire and explosions.

I can't bear the silence, nor the occasional sarcastic remarks. So I crack. "What are we?" I ask after another few days. She freezes perfectly in place, or so I think, until I notice the shake to her hand, such an oddly human response to the question. More human then most of the monsters who were willing to join my uprising.

"I'm still figuring that out," she whispers. She goes back to work. After a few minutes, she starts to hum, like I'm not here. Or - like it's okay that I'm here. I let a smile creep onto my face.

We're getting somewhere.

( if it's not obvious this is very inspired by portal 2 and also this portal 2 fanfic: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8896805/27/Of-Robots-and-Women )

[bookshelf-dust]

the hurt is good

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi

billy hargrove x fem!reader

word count: 3,705

warnings: swearing, brief mentions of blood/anxious lip picking, anxiety attack, talk of self-harming behaviors, mentions of abuse/toxic relationships/neil, fluff

a/n: wow. hi! i’m sorry it took so long for me to get this out. school has been a lot lately. thank you for all the positive feedback on the previous parts and for sticking around! also this isn’t the last part. i lied. there will be one more. anyhow there’s a lot of heavy stuff in this part, but also a lot of love. i hope you enjoy it and maybe find something in it. love you loads and loads <3333

before you read, listen to: when it’s cold i’d like to die by moby and/or slipping through my fingers by ABBA

————

Billy did not hear from you yesterday, or the day before that. He hasn’t been worried, per say, because it’s not like he’ll die if he can’t speak to you at all times.

But today, on the third day, he starts to be a little upset by the absence of you.

He really doesn’t like it when it’s Nicky that calls him, rather than you.

“Are you busy today, hon’?” Her voice is sweet as always.

“No, I’m not,” Billy tells her. He licks his lips, a little uneasy.

“Do you think you could come over for a while?”She asks. “Y/N just left, which is big, but she’s going out with some old friends, and I’m a little worried. She had a really hard time getting over them, and I’ve got somewhere to be for awhile and I just don’t want her to be alone after all of this.”

Nicky stops, inhaling. She realizes she’s been rambling to her poor boy. She starts to apologize, and Billy stops her, laughing a little.

“I can do that, yeah. Who was she having lunch with? If you don’t mind me asking.”

He can hear Nicky sigh.

“Nancy.”

————

Billy is on your front steps when you pull up. He’s smoking, but he stomps it out when he sees you.

“Hey, pretty girl,” he says.

Your hands are shaking so bad that you drop your keys. Billy picks them up for you, and it’s only when he looks you over that he realizes something’s not right.

“Baby, what’s wrong?”

You’re wringing your hands continuously, as if trying to prevent doing something else. He steps closer to you, because you’re biting his lip, and he goes to pull it free like he always does.

There’s blood on the tip of his thumb when he pulls it away.

“Y/N, you’ve made yourself bleed.”

You lick your lips, tasting metal. You blink at him. Billy looks closer at your mouth, realizing there’s a welt and that it’s swollen on one side.

“Come on and let me clean it up, okay?”

You nod and let the boy lead you inside your home. Billy tries to get you to sit on the counter, but you stop him.

“I just need a second,” you say.

It’s the first thing you’ve said to him thus far, and Billy finds himself relieved to hear your voice, even if the shakiness of it matches that of your hands.

You use your hands to brace yourself against the counter, leaning your head forward to face the floor. You close your eyes and try to breathe.

Billy doesn’t know what to do, so he rubs his hand up and down the curve of your spine. It feels warm against your back.

He kisses the crown of your head and suddenly you straighten, a slightly panicked look in your eye, though Billy can tell you’re trying to repress it.

“I need you to help me,” you tell him, running your hands down your face.

“Anything,” Billy says, worried over your state of being.

“I’m having an anxiety attack and I need you to help calm me down because my heart is beating so fast that I feel like I can’t breathe and everything is shaking and I just—I just, I need you.”

“To talk to me or something. I need you to be here with me for a minute.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t need convincing.

Billy brings his hands to your face, stroking his thumbs over your unusually warm cheeks. His eyes dart all over you.

“Look at me,” he says.

You nod, locking your eyes with his. You study his eyelashes, the way they kiss at the corners and leave shadows on the tops of his cheeks in the light.

“Breathe with me.”

“Okay.”

In and out. In and out. You focus on the way Billy is breathing, and that seems to help. You watch the steady rise and fall of his chest rather than worrying about the feeling in yours.

“How long do they usually last?” Billy inquires. “The heart palpitations.”

“Little while. Half hour, little less, little more. Depends on if I can get myself calmed down.”

Billy presses his lips to your forehead, keeping them there for a moment. They’re chapped, but it’s still chilly outside, so it makes sense. The cold is the same reason for the cracks in the skin on the back of your hands.

“Sit up on the counter for me, baby. I’m gonna get you some water, okay? I’ll be right back, I promise.”

You do as he says, balancing yourself on the edge of the bathroom vanity. Your tongue darts out to swipe over your lip, and Billy was right. You can feel the swelling and the welt he mentioned.

You’ve always done it when stressed or uncomfortable. It’s not always this bad though. You just kept going and going after lunch today, even after it had started to bleed.

The boy returns as he’d said he would, a glass of water in hand. He gives it to you and watches to make sure you’re successfully drinking.

“Can I look at it?” Billy gestures vaguely in the direction of your lip.

“Uh huh.” You fight the urge to cover your mouth like you have before, like when your mother has noticed it’s scabbed.

Billy uses his thumb to press on your lip, examining the damage you’ve done to it. He’s chewed his before when anxious, but never like this. But he guesses he’s expressed these feelings you’re having in other ways.

He takes the change to pull at your lip a little too, noticing you’ve torn at the inside just as well as the outside.

“It hurt?”

You snort. “No. Feels great.”

Billy rolls his eyes at you, and then he’s feeling around in his pockets. You take another big sip of water while you’re observing him. It’s almost empty, so you decide to finish it. He waits for you to do so.

When you have, Billy swipes his pinky along the edge of your mouth to catch a drop of water. He presents what he’d been searching for: a little pot of chapstick. He figures if you’ve got something on your lips you can’t fuck them up as easily.

“You gonna let me put this on you?” He asks, features soft.

“Kiss it better first?”

Billy smirks, proud of your ability to flirt with him.

“I shouldn’t. Should leave it alone until it heals some.”

You pout.

He kisses you anyways.

When he pulls away, he unscrews the lid to the balm and you hook your fingers in his belt loops. He dips his index finger in and brings it to your mouth, spreading it over the sore spot and then over the remaining expanse of your lips.

You rub them together after he’s finished.

“Thank you.” Billy nods, returning the container to the depths of his jean pockets.

“Will you tell me what’s got you so worked up?” He helps you off of the counter. You leave the bathroom and head to your bedroom. He follows without a second thought.

You gesture for him to sit down, but you remain standing so that you can pace as you speak.

“I saw Nancy today.”

“Yeah?” Billy knows this, and you know he does, but he wants you to let it all out.

“Yeah,” you start. “She asked me how I was doing. I told her that I was doing okay.”

“And she said ‘You must be doing better if you’re out by yourself, doing big girl stuff.’ What the fuck does that even mean, Billy?” It’s a rhetorical question. One he doesn’t answer.

“She made it sound like I was incapable of being anything but a loner. Like I can’t take care of myself or something? It just got me thinking about how she always thought I was so odd for not being like her.”

Billy wishes you would sit down. Your pacing is stressing him out.

“Then Nancy asked me if I was seeing anyone, and I said you.”

You sit, and Billy’s shoulders relax.

“She acted surprised, Billy.”

“She said, ‘I guess I’m just shocked. I guess I thought he wasn’t someone that really dated.’ And then, ‘You know, I know we aren’t really close anymore, but you could so do better than him.’”

You’re standing again. Billy realizes that you’re pissed off. He’s never seen you this way before. He kind of likes it.

“And she’s basing this off of, what, one interaction she’s had with you? Whatever she hears around school? Shit, she doesn’t even know you. She doesn’t even know me anymore, and the fact that she’s just blatantly giving me relationship advice?”

“Billy, I yelled at her.”

He laughs. Tosses his head back and laughs. He wishes he could’ve seen you rip Nancy Wheeler a new one. In fact, he would’ve paid to do so.

You start grinning at him. He’s so proud of you.

“I just—she made me so mad and I just started shouting at her. It just felt so unfair, the way she was acting. I only agreed to go today because I thought I might get closure after feeling forgotten about for so long. And I told her that.”

“She claimed she didn’t forget about me, but that she just ‘found a different social circle.’ Fuck! So I told her that she had no right telling me what to do with my life when she sure as shit never cared before. And I couldn’t let her talk about you either.”

You finish, setting your hands on your hips. Billy stands and takes your face into his hands again.

“I’m proud of you, Y/N. That you went out today and then stood up for yourself. The yelling is pretty badass too. And I appreciate you defending me. It’s nice to know you’d do that even when I’m not there.”

“Of course I would.” You grab his hand and kiss his palm. “Thank you.”

He nods. “So how come you fucked up your lip then?”

“Trying to deal with it, I guess. I felt bad the whole way home. Like maybe I’d been a bitch or something.”

“Hey, no. You aren’t a bitch for wanting better and for saying so.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m positive.”

The both of you have been so caught up in handling this that you didn’t hear Nicky come home, or wander through the house putting groceries away. You only realize she’s there when her voice comes from across the hall.

“He’s right, honeybee! Not a bitch!” She exclaims, and then she’s shutting the door to her room. She just needed to make sure you heard that. She’s proud of you too.

You bury your face in Billy’s neck and he’s laughing so much that you have to move your head.

“I hate you both.”

“I bet you do. Guess you won’t need any make-it-better kisses then.”

“Asshole.”

“Yeah. Nope. No more.”

“Please?” You grab hold of his hips.

Billy stares at you. He’s going to break. You both know it. But he can’t resist the urge to pretend like he won’t, just for a second.

He kisses you, once, twice.

When he pulls away he puts an arm around you, his hand resting on the small of your back. His fingertips slip just underneath the waistband of your jeans. Suddenly he looks very serious.

“Have you done that before?” He asks. You know what he means. And you know the answer.

“Yes,” you say. Billy closes his his for just a second. Something about composure.

“Do you—is it to hurt yourself?”

You’re quiet for a moment, thinking. Trying to articulate a response to this. It’s an anxious habit, sure. Sometimes you’re picking at your lip without even realizing, and you quit when you do.

But other times, maybe that is the case. You pick and bite until your lip is bleeding, until it’s swollen, until it hurts to eat or drink.

“Sometimes.”

Billy inhales and you can see the way his chest shakes.

“Talk to me,” he says. He thinks about chewing on his thumb nail or lighting up. It’s the same thing. A coping mechanism.

“I usually do it if I feel like I need to shut everything out. It’s a distraction from big feelings. Maybe like a punishment if I feel stupid or if I’ve embarrassed myself.”

“You ever told anyone this before?” Billy has pulled you closer than you thought possible, his arm around your back snug like he’s afraid to let you go.

“Just you.”

Billy feels a pang in his chest at that. Just you. Him.

“I don’t want you to shut them out anymore. You feel something big, you talk to me about it, yeah?”

“Okay.” You look so vulnerable. Like he’s looking at a part of yourself you’ve never shown anyone before.

“I don’t want you to hurt yourself. Will you work on this with me?”

“Only if you work on the smoking with me.”

Billy rests his forehead against yours, exhales through his nose.

“Okay.”

————

Billy’s staying the night again. You’re in the shower, so he’s sitting at the counter in your kitchen. He offered to help Nicky fix dinner or wash dishes or do something, but she downright refused.

He’s turned his head to look at a picture of you on the counter. Your senior picture. You look so pretty.

This means that the side of his face is in Nicky’s direct line of sight. The side that Neil hit. He side that’s bruised, despite his hoping it wouldn’t.

Nicky looks up, feeling a jolt in her chest. Something in her just knows. If Billy had been in a fight, you would’ve told her. She knows you would’ve. But if it was a non-school fight, those chances are slim.

She knows. Every cell in her body screams with it.

“Billy, honey? Can I ask you something?”

The boy turns back to face your mother, spinning the ring on his middle finger around and around. “Sure.”

She moves to face the sink so as to not embarrass him.

“How long?”

Billy’s fingers freeze. She knows. Of course she knows. He thinks about pretending he doesn’t have clue what she means. But he knows she’d see right through that.

He buries his face in his hands. “Since I was a kid. Since he couldn’t take it out on my mom anymore.”

Nicky sets the plate she’d been holding down to dry and drains the water from the sink. Dishes can wait.

“Billy, you don’t have to hide from me. You’re safe here. I think we’ve made that pretty clear, sweetheart.”

The boy straightens and sits on his hands.

“I’m assuming Y/N knows? Probably already looked at it?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

Nicky approaches the other side of the counter from where he sits and clasps her hands. “You know that you can come here anytime you need to, right?”

“I know.”

“Y/N said Max is your step-sister. Is your father aggressive towards her or your step-mother?”

Billy hates being asked these questions but for some reason he feels no urge to fight it. He knows Nicky means no harm and only wants the best for him.

“He’s never laid a hand on Max, no. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’m not really around Susan much, though, but I’ve never seen her with anything or heard him do anything. He screams at her sometimes, though. He’s a piece of shit. He doesn’t treat her any better than he did my mom. They deserve better. Both of them.”

Nicky quirks a brow. “And you don’t?”

Billy’s breath catches. “I don’t know.”

“You do. You deserve the world, hon’.”

Billy blinks, hard. “Thank you.”

“Just telling you the truth, kiddo.”

Nicky goes quiet for a moment, playing with her own rings. One of them you got for her when you were twelve. It has her birthstone set into it.

“You’re eighteen, Billy. Technically your dad doesn’t have any claims to you anymore.” She’s slowly plotting, a steady stream of thoughts forming in her mind.

“Supposing you want to stay with Max, or even in your own home—because I can’t imagine you’d want to be uprooted again—do you think that Susan is capable of taking care of herself and the both of you? Say if Neil weren’t around?”

Billy contemplates this. He’s trying to get past the knowledge that there’s an adult in his life actively and genuinely trying to help him and make sure he’s safe. No one’s ever had a heart-to-heart with him like this. Frankly, he’s at a loss.

“I suppose so. I mean she took care of Max before. And Max was a pretty happy kid, I think. You know, internally. If you look past the sarcasm.”

Nicky laughs. It’s the kind of sound that you miss when you haven’t heard it in awhile.

“I think Max only got sort of reclusive once Neil came in and sort of pushed her dad out. I don’t think I helped either. But yeah, I-I think she could. Take care of us.”

“And I feel wrong saying this, because she’s not my mother, and it’s her life, but I think she needs better. If she wants Max back then she needs to leave Neil. Because Susan is losing Max. I can see it.”

Billy hears the shower shut off from down the hall, the sound of the curtain being pushed aside.

“What if I talked to Susan? Would that make you uncomfortable? Maybe I can get through to her. About Neil. And I can talk to Max, or I can back off.”

He hears the bathroom door open. Sees a flash of you across the hallway in a towel, then the slam of your own bedroom door. It makes him laugh.

Nicky knows exactly what you’ve done. You’ve done the same thing since you were a kid. It warms her heart to see him laugh at little things like that.

“No. It wouldn’t make me uncomfortable,” Billy says. “I would appreciate that, actually. But maybe let me talk to Max first?”

“Anything you need, honey. And I want you to know that this is a safe space, okay? If you ever need somewhere to stay. And the same goes for Max. If she needs to get away or anything.”

Billy looks up at Nicky and she has the kindest smile he’s ever seen. He knows she means everything she’s saying.

He has the urge to hug her and so he does. He hasn’t had a mom to hug in so long.

————

Billy’s driving again. It seems this is the only time he can get himself to talk about the hard stuff with her.

“Max.”

“Huh?” She’s reading a comic book. He doesn’t know how she does that. He’d probably hurl.

“Nicky wants to help Susan leave Neil.”

Max doesn’t move or close the comic, but she does stare at the page for an awfully long time. “So what does that mean?”

“I don’t know, exactly. But I was wondering…do you want me to leave too? Or can I stay?”

Billy has never sounded this raw and emotional around her before. It’s enough to make her face him.

“You think you have to leave?”

“I don’t know if you or Susan are going to want me to stay.”

Max sighs. “I want you to stay. It’d be weird to not have someone in the next room with horrible music playing. Do you want to go?”

“No,” he says, fingers gripping the steering wheel.

“Then stay.”

Stay.

————

“So you’ve verbally brutalized two of the Wheeler women in the last couple of weeks?”

You’re laying on Max’s bed. You can’t help but notice it’s softer than Billy’s but you try not to ponder that for too long.

Susan and Neil aren’t here.

“I wonder if Mike knows this. That he’s got a predatory mother.”

“I don’t know.” You roll onto your back and stare at the posters on her walls.

“If it helps,” she says, pasting a new sticker on her skateboard, “I never liked Nancy anyways. Kinda bitchy.”

You snort, looking at her sticker as she presents it to you. “Very nice,” you say.

“Lucas got it for me.”

“That was sweet of him.”

This time she snorts.

There’s the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. “Uh oh,” you say. “The beast has awoken.”

Max laughs hard enough that she has to slap a hand over her mouth when he appears in the doorway.

Billy looks at you with a scowl on his face before approaching Max’s bed. He flops down on top of you and buries his face in your neck.

“You left me,” he says.

It’s true. You’d been in his room with him, snuggling, though he refuses to call it that. He’d fallen asleep on you, but you didn’t have a book or anything, so after a while, spine aching, you slipped out and left him to nap.

A glance at Max and she’s making a gagging motion at you. You glare toward the sticker she just put on and she rolls her eyes, cornered.

“You fell asleep. I wanted you to rest. And my back started to hurt.” Billy grunts, and you notice the mess that his hair has become. You point it out to Max. She starts grinning and so do you, and it’s as if he can sense it.

“Stop.”

“Not doing anything.”

Billy lifts his head to look at you, brow furrowed and eyes puffy with sleep. There are even sheet marks on the side of his face.

“You’re conspiring.” He collapses back into your chest. “Little shits, both of you.”

You laugh and he whines again because you’ve jostled him.

You look at Max and she crosses her legs over Billy’s back, using her brother as a foot rest. He’s too sleepy to complain. She puts a pillow under her head and settles in, seemingly ready to take her own nap.

Shit, you think. Might as well. And you close your eyes too, petting Billy’s hair as you do. He smiles into you. You can feel it.

And it’s the best nap you’ve ever had.

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

[dee-writes-smut]

For Tenko (Chapter One)

SUMMARY After years of waiting and training in hidden nooks when you could, it was finally time to take the UA entrance exam.

CONTENT WARNINGS death, depictions of homeless children, mentions of abuse, loss, and grief. For the sake of the series (and my conscience), all characters are aged up while still following the plot of MHA. In other words, think of UA as a college rather than a high school.

AUTHORS NOTE this story has me in a chokehold, I can not be stopped. Here's chapter one, enjoy!!

SERIES MASTERLIST

It's been years since you lost your best friend to the collapse. Since that devastating night, you had forged your own path, wandering aimlessly through Japan. You slept on any available surface you could find, whether it was a park bench, an abandoned building, or a quiet corner of the street. Comfort was a luxury you could not afford, but through all the hardships, you kept your vow.

Not long after losing Tenko, your quirk manifested. Perhaps it was the universe trying to solidify your destiny, or maybe it was triggered by the intense stress and grief of the situation. The emergence of your quirk marked a turning point in your life, a sign that you were meant for something greater.

Dissonance—that’s what it had been coined. Your quirk allowed you to sing at any pitch and frequency, interrupting people's actions and even disturbing their thoughts when you were super concentrated. It was an impressive and versatile power, but it came with its own set of challenges. Overusing it could damage your vocal cords, and you quickly learned that you had to wear ear protection to prevent damaging your eardrums.

Your quirk was similar to Present Mic’s, but with a unique twist. Rather than projecting your natural voice to send strong radio waves, you changed pitch and frequency to gain control over your victims. This ability to manipulate sound and influence others made you a formidable force, capable of turning the tide in any confrontation. It was a pretty badass ability, and you felt fortunate to have it.

Your first encounter with your quirk was a mix of awe and fear. You remember the exact moment it manifested, the sensation of power coursing through your vocal cords, and the realization that you could control others with your voice. It was both thrilling and terrifying, knowing that such power resided within you.

Training with Dissonance was no easy feat. You spent countless hours practicing, learning to modulate your voice and control the effects of your quirk. You experimented with different pitches and frequencies, discovering the limits of your abilities and the toll it took on your body. Each session left your voice strained and your ears ringing, but you persisted, driven by the vow you made that fateful night.

Over time, you became adept at using Dissonance. You mastered the art of subtle manipulation, using your voice to calm crowds, disrupt enemies, and even plant suggestions in the minds of those around you. Your quirk became an extension of yourself, a tool to fulfill your mission of becoming a hero. Yet, you always remained cautious, aware of the potential harm to your vocal cords and ears.

The ear protection you wore became a signature part of your appearance, a constant reminder of the price you paid for your power. Despite the challenges, you embraced Dissonance, knowing that it gave you the means to protect others and honor the memory of Tenko. Your journey was far from over, but with each passing day, you grew stronger and more confident in your ability to make a difference.

All that suffering and pain, all those nights spent thinking it might be your last, it all led up to this moment—standing outside the gates of UA, the number one academy known for producing the best pro heroes. One of your idols, Endeavor, had even graduated from here.

Standing there felt like a dream, something you might wake up from only to realize that the rats you had tried to befriend in the alley you were staying in had stolen your last piece of food. But no, you were here. You had made it, for Tenko.

The gates of UA were grand, with large, blue overlapping letters proclaiming the academy's name. The grass inside the gates was lush and healthy, a green so vibrant and bright that it almost hurt to look at. Students chattered loudly, some shoving through the crowds in a desperate attempt to be on time to their classes, as they made their way up and down the wide stone path leading toward the tinted glass doors that matched the color of the sign at the entrance.

If you weren’t used to slinking through streets at this point, you might have found the overwhelming sounds suffocating. The birds chirping in the large trees and the boisterous laughter of students passing by could have been too much. However, you found great peace in the sounds, grounding yourself appropriately and maybe even taking a secret moment to bask in it all as you made your way to the lecture hall where you would be performing your entrance exam in hopes of getting admitted into the prestigious hero course.

You took a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill your lungs. Every step you took felt like a step closer to fulfilling the vow you made years ago. The journey had been arduous, but the promise to yourself and to Tenko kept you moving forward. This was your chance to prove yourself, to show the world that the child who once shivered on a park bench could become a hero.

The entrance hall was buzzing with activity, and you could see the determination on the faces of other prospective students. They, too, had their own stories, their own dreams of becoming heroes. Yet, in that moment, all you could think about was Tenko and the promise you made to him.

The lecture hall was just as grand as the entrance, with rows and rows of curved tables where hundreds of people were piling in. Making your way up the stairs, you found a dark, secluded corner toward the top of the seating to set your ratty backpack filled with all that you owned. Two cans of tomato soup, a tiny battery-operated flashlight that was on its last leg, and a ripped raincoat. You had managed to wash quickly in a public pool shower before coming, so at least you weren’t donning your usual dirt streaks and dumpster smell. You even got lucky by running into an old woman on the street who had seen your tattered attire and dragged you to a nearby store to buy you a pair of leggings and a tie-dye t-shirt that was a bit too small and hugged your chest uncomfortably.

As you settled into your seat, you took a moment to observe the room. No one noticed or even tried to talk to you as they all took their seats and settled down. The air was thick with anticipation and nerves, a collective energy that buzzed through the hall. The walls were adorned with banners and posters, showcasing past graduates and famous heroes who had once sat where you were now.

Before you knew it, Present Mic himself was enthusiastically explaining the rules and point system of the entrance exam, using his quirk to amplify his already loud voice so the people in the far back could hear him. His voice boomed through the hall, energetic and powerful, capturing everyone’s attention. You couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement; this was real, and you were here, ready to take the first step toward your dream.

You felt bad for the group sitting in the front row, trying to hide their winces from the volume. Present Mic’s enthusiasm was infectious, though, and despite the discomfort, everyone listened intently. He explained the different components of the exam, the scoring system, and what would be expected of you. The stakes were high, but you had faced worse odds before.

After Present Mic had explained everything and answered a stuck-up kid’s question, we were off, being led toward a huge mock-up city where we would be battling “villain” robots and earning points.

Waiting was probably the worst part of the whole ordeal, standing outside the large metal walls outlining the city while teachers and other workers raced around setting up. During that time, people huddled in groups and mingled while you stayed toward the edge of it all, silently observing and hoping no one acknowledged your existence. Unfortunately, your hopes did not come to fruition as an energetic girl with fluffy pink hair bounced over to you, talking up a storm about her thoughts and feelings about the upcoming challenge of admission. She revealed her quirk, something to do with summoning and shooting acid out of her hands. It was totally badass and warmed you up to the idea of being her friend if you both made it past the entrance exams.

As the countdown started, Mina, the girl who had started talking to you, slinked away to get a fair chance at points. You readied yourself, nestling your foam earplugs into your ears and getting into position.

The atmosphere was electric with anticipation. The other students were all focused, their faces a mix of determination and anxiety. You took a deep breath, feeling your heart pound in your chest. This was it, the moment you had been preparing for.

Chaos erupted as everyone bolted through the doors, those toward the front effortlessly taking out the robots placed near the entrance. You quickly squeezed through the crowd and took off toward the left, following the barrier around the city and taking out several robots with simple hand-to-hand combat and some strategically placed wires. Toward the end of the timer, you had accumulated a comfortable score by just using your ordinary strength and discipline. Just as you were about to sweep your corner once more, you saw a huge three-pointer rolling your way with a gun full of blanks aimed at you.

Taking a breath, you narrowed your eyes and activated your quirk, singing the simple harmony of the birds you had encountered on the way toward the lecture hall at a much higher, earsplitting pitch. The robot immediately began to spark and convulse. However, you were caught up worrying whether you had hurt someone in the nearby area. By the time the robot was falling, it was too late. You had underestimated its size and got lost in your thoughts, and now you were about to be crushed. Unable to do anything, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly, bracing for an impact that never came.

Slowly, hesitantly, you opened your eyes to find a pair of bright red ones staring back at you. His hair was red and styled into sharp spikes, his teeth also sharp as he smiled at you, the robot tossed to the side.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with worry as he walked over to check you for injuries. His voice was gentle, yet filled with concern, a stark contrast to the chaos surrounding you.

“I’m fine,” you responded quickly, dusting yourself off with a deep breath, trying and failing to calm your racing heart. You could still feel the adrenaline pumping through your veins, making your hands shake slightly.

“That was a close one,” he chuckled, his laughter warm and reassuring. “I’m Kirishima, Eijiro Kirishima,” he said, holding out his hand with a friendly smile. His red hair gleamed under the natural light, and his eyes shone with an infectious energy.

“It’s nice to meet you, Kirishima,” you nodded, providing your own name as you shook his hand firmly. His grip was strong, his skin surprisingly rough, probably a result of his quirk. “How did you do that?”

“Oh, my quirk is hardening. I can make my body impenetrable,” Kirishima responded easily, his smile never wavering. He seemed so at ease, as if saving someone from a falling robot was an everyday occurrence. “What about you? I didn’t see what happened until it was about to fall on you.”

“Dissonance. Think Present Mic, but instead of projection, I can influence actions and thoughts with song,” you explained, taking a quick look around for any more targets before time ran out. The cityscape was littered with the remnants of destroyed robots, and a few students were still battling fiercely in the distance.

“That’s totally cool!” Kirishima gushed, his eyes widening with genuine admiration. “I hope we both make it. I’d love to get to know more about you and your quirk.”

“Thank you,” you blushed, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly. His presence was surprisingly calming, a stark contrast to the intensity of the exam. “I hope you make it too,” you added, remembering your manners. His enthusiasm was contagious, and you couldn’t help but smile.

With that, Kirishima left with a salute and a sharp smile, taking off up the mouth of the alleyway he must have come from. You watched him for a moment, appreciating his confidence and the way he carried himself. Then, snapping back to reality, you ran in the opposite direction, hoping to find any small point stragglers before time was out.

The city was a maze of debris and broken robots. Your eyes scanned the area, and you spotted a couple of small robots hiding behind a crumbling wall. With swift movements, you dispatched them, your quirk making short work of their circuits. Each note you sang was precise, each pitch carefully controlled to disrupt their systems without causing collateral damage.

The final buzzer sounded just as you took down the last robot, signaling the end of the exam. You stood there for a moment, catching your breath, and looking around at the other students. Some were panting heavily, while others were still in fighting stances, the adrenaline not yet wearing off.

You made your way back to the entrance, your heart still racing but now with a mix of relief and excitement. The memory of Tenko and the promise you made to him had driven you forward, and now you stood, panting and victorious, ready to see if you had done enough to secure your place at UA. The future was uncertain, but for the first time in a long while, you felt a glimmer of hope.

It had been a few weeks since the UA entrance exam, and the weight of disappointment hung heavy as you wandered through the alleys, your thoughts consumed with how to scrape together enough money for a train ticket back to your usual haunts. You were on the verge of slipping down a street known for its desperate need for dog walkers when you were abruptly halted by a man in dark attire and a stiff, grey scarf.

"You're the girl from the entrance exam, right? The one with the voice?" His voice carried a weary undertone, and his demeanor seemed both exhausted and disinterested, a stark contrast to the chaos of the city around you. It was his tired gaze that triggered recognition—this was Eraserhead, the hero known for his ability to nullify quirks with a single glance.

"Uh, yeah, but I thought I didn’t make it when you guys didn’t contact me," you replied, your voice cracking slightly from dehydration. Water was scarce, and you hadn’t found more than dirty puddles to sip from along the way.

"You didn’t leave us with any contact information," he huffed, as though your lack of foresight was a personal inconvenience. Your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you realized the gravity of your oversight.

"Right," you stammered, "I’m sorry about that. It must have slipped my mind," you chuckled nervously, feeling like a ragged street urchin in your tattered raincoat and dirt-streaked leggings. The situation couldn’t get much more humiliating.

"Anyways," he sighed, as if eager to move past your blunder, "I’m here to tell you that you ranked second with sixty-eight points."

"Wow," you breathed, a mixture of relief and disbelief washing over you. You pressed a trembling hand against your chest, half expecting it to still the rapid beats of your heart. "Who was the next closest?"

"Third place earned thirty-nine points," he stated matter-of-factly, his expression betraying little emotion. It was clear he wasn’t one for unnecessary conversation.

"Thank you for tracking me down. I’m really sorry again. I didn’t think about how you’d be able to contact me—"

"Answer something for me, would you, kid?" Eraserhead interjected, running a hand through his unruly hair, which promptly fell back into place. His eyes bore into yours with a mix of scrutiny and weariness.

"Sure," you replied, adjusting the straps on your worn backpack, suddenly feeling acutely aware of your disheveled appearance.

"Are you living out here?" he inquired, gesturing vaguely to the bustling cityscape around you. Cars honked in the distance, and pedestrians hurried past, oblivious to your exchange. Shame washed over you, threatening to spill over into tears. You blinked them away hastily—crying was a luxury you couldn’t afford, not since Tenko’s death.

"Um, yeah," you admitted reluctantly, your voice barely above a whisper. It was humiliating to acknowledge your transient existence, especially to a hero like Eraserhead.

Apparently satisfied with your response, Eraserhead flagged down a passing taxi and motioned for you to get in. The sudden gesture left you dumbfounded.

"What?" you blurted, stunned by the unexpected turn of events.

"I can’t have one of my students sleeping in alleyways. Get in," he instructed firmly, his red eyes flashing with an unspoken threat that sent a shiver down your spine. Without further protest, you stumbled into the backseat of the taxi, feeling more bewildered than ever.

The ride to UA was filled with uncomfortable silence, broken only by the hum of the engine and the occasional honk of impatient drivers. As the city rushed past, you began to process everything—your unexpected second-place ranking, the realization that you had surpassed the competition without fully utilizing your quirk, and the daunting prospect of attending UA, a prestigious institution for aspiring heroes.

By the time the taxi pulled up to the entrance of UA, you were a whirlwind of emotions—hope, determination, and a renewed sense of purpose. This opportunity was more than just a chance to fulfill your dream; it was a promise to Tenko, a vow to become the hero he believed you could be.

Stepping out of the taxi, you straightened your posture, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead. For Tenko, for yourself, you were prepared to seize this chance and become the hero you were destined to be.

[my-head-is-an-animal]

The Climb

Summary: You're a scientist, an engineer to be exact. Called to a meeting you had no real right to be at, Optimus Prime takes an exclusive interest in you, but you can't help but ask yourself at every turn, Why?

Rating: 18+ 🌹🩸🍆

Story Masterlist

Chapter 1

I’d never seen an Autobot up close before, never with my own eyes. Sure, I’d seen parts of dead ones, watched plenty of video footage, but I’d never actually stood in the same room as one before, let alone, Optimus Prime himself.

     He was so big, so powerful, such a force to be reckoned with, no wonder he was the leader of the Autobots, he was incredibly commanding on sight alone.

     I had been called upon along with a variety of other scientists to try to solve a problem, one that would inevitably be solved by some physicist, they always got the glory. I studied Space Engineering, these days it gave a much more secure career path, but it didn’t come with a lot of recognition.

     A meeting between Optimus Prime and the President’s spokesman was reaching boiling point, I couldn’t remember the man’s name, but judging from his attitude towards anything alien, he might not have lasted very long.

     ‘Your planet will be destroyed-‘ Optimus implored.

     ‘And who’s fault would that be?’ The man snapped back. ‘If you shared some of your technology, we stand a chance against this thing.’

     ‘Your capacity for war amongst yourselves does not fill me with confidence that you would not abuse any technology we give you.’

     He had a point there.

     ‘That’s not your choice to make.’ The man took a breath and I turned to my friend Theo.

     ‘Of course it’s his choice to make,’ I said. ‘It’s his technology to share.’

     We chuckled quietly, suddenly noticing the quiet that had blanketed the entire hanger. I looked up to see both the president’s man and Optimus Prime staring down at me, one with annoyance, the other with a curiosity in his eyes.

     ‘And anyway,’ the man continued, I should’ve remembered the echo in the building and not said anything at all. ‘If a ship is about to plunge itself into our planet, I think we’d all appreciate a few weapons to defend ourselves with.’

     Optimus hadn’t stopped looking at me the entire time the man spoke, not until he went to reply. The argument went on for ages and I decided to try and get back to work while it did, but all I could see in my minds eye was Optimus Prime’s blue eyes staring down at me. I felt so small.

     Eventually, the scientists were called upon to speak, I wasn’t the spokesperson for my department so was grateful that I wouldn’t have to put myself in the spotlight again, but I didn’t necessarily agree with everything we were presenting.

     ‘You disagree.’ Optimus’s low voice echoed throughout the hanger.

     All the speakers had been sent up to the balcony so that they were eye level with the Autobot, I stayed down below with Theo who was also grateful that he didn’t have to speak. Both of us believed that organics would remain undetectable by the alien ship heading towards Earth, so it stood to reason that a human could go in and sabotage the ship to prevent it from harvesting our core.

     Optimus’s attention was never on the spokesperson for our department, in fact the second she stepped forward to speak, he looked down at us. I turned away unable to maintain eye contact any longer and never realised that he kept his gaze on me especially.

     When I didn’t answer his question, Optimus descended onto one knee, and I felt my heart racing.

     ‘What is your name?’ He asked, his deep voice somehow quieter, as if he knew how intimidating he was.

     Theo nudged me to stand, and I did, feeling my mouth go dry. I awkwardly shoved my glasses up my nose and stuttered. ‘Uh, I, Harding. Dr Jane Harding.’ I finally managed to get out.

     ‘Dr Jane Harding.’ Optimus repeated and it was strange to hear him say it. ‘I would like to hear your opinion on the matter.’

     ‘Um, excuse me.’ The president’s man interrupted. ‘She is not part of this presentation; her opinion is being put to you by her spokesperson.’

     Optimus quickly turned to the man and snapped. ‘You have had your chance to speak, you will allow others their time as well.’ He turned his attention back to me. ‘It is clear that you do not agree that my Autobots could penetrate the ship’s exterior and destroy its controls, so what do you think is best, Dr Jane Harding?’

     I cleared my throat, my eyes flickering towards the angry looking man still glaring down at me.

     ‘I…’ I cleared my throat again, this wasn’t the time for cowardice, the fate of the world was at stake and if my opinion was what saved us, then I shouldn’t have been intimidated by one alien. ‘The ship looks to be of a similar origin to Cybertron,’ I started, trying hard to be brave. ‘It stands to reason that it will detect you the second you make your way towards it, but there’s a good chance it will not detect organics in quite the same way. We could send a man inside to sabotage the controls.’

     ‘A human?’ Optimus thought for a moment, that was when Lennox stepped forward.

     ‘Are you saying we could send a team inside that ship, dismantle its control system and get out without being detected?’ He asked, curiously more than thinking the idea was ridiculous.

     I pushed my glasses up my nose again, the sweat causing them to slide. ‘Well, it wouldn’t be quite as simple as that.’ Lennox almost laughed, knowing it was too good to be true. ‘Like I said, the Autobots would be detected long before they even reached the ship’s hull, and we don’t currently have anything powerful enough to blast a hole in the side of it.’ I swallowed, nervously. ‘Anything electronic would be detected, someone’s going to have to climb up and find a way inside.’

     Lennox stepped forward. ‘Climb? You know that’s at least a thirty thousand foot ascent maybe more?’

     I swallowed again. ‘Yes. But there are ways it can be done.’

     ‘We don’t have anyone capable of that.’

     ‘Then you’ll have to train someone.’ I took a breath, feeling the pressure starting to alleviate. ‘Look, we have six months before that ship is touching down on Earth, we have to use that time wisely. So you can build all the weapons you want, you can beg the Autobots for whatever technology you think will help, but that ship isn’t here because of them, it’s here because our planet is a hot bed for radiation and that’s what it feeds on. If the Autobots weren’t here, you wouldn’t think my plan was so ridiculous, we wouldn’t have many other options. At least this way, it limits the number of lives lost.’

     The room was quiet, I wasn’t sure why, but both Lennox and Optimus were considering my plan.

     ‘Do you believe one human could do this?’ Optimus finally asked me.

     I looked up at his blue eyes, noting the complexity of his face and no longer feeling as intimidated as I once did. ‘Yes, I do. There’s no limit to what a human being can endure. It’s mind over matter.’

     Something in the Autobot’s expression changed, but I couldn’t tell what it was. Lennox and the president’s man, who I now knew as Smith, began arguing about the riskiness of the plan as well as the impossibility, but Lennox was able to convince him to keep it in reserve, a plan B. I caught the look Lennox gave me which indicated he had no intention of keeping it in reserve, as far as he was concerned, it was Plan A.

     The meeting concluded and Lennox approached me as I gathered my folders up, taking me to one side.

     ‘You really think we can send a team into that ship undetected?’ He asked, still feeling shaky about the idea.

     ‘I do, but the ship has advanced capabilities to adapt to its surroundings, it would almost certainly adapt to detect organic life if there was enough of it penetrating its shields. So, a team? No. But one person would stand a much greater chance.’

     Lennox let a tense breath go. ‘You realise what you're asking?’

     ‘I do.’ I felt the guilt in my chest. ‘But if it saves the world, isn’t it worth it?’

     Lennox just chuckled, nodding. ‘If you were a soldier, I’d nominate you to make the climb. You got some guts.’

     ‘Thanks… I think.’ I frowned, pushing my glasses up again.

     ‘You should talk to Optimus before you leave, I’m sure he’d appreciate it.’

     ‘Oh, I couldn’t, I doubt he’d want anything to do with me.’ I shook my head, feeling the nervousness wash over me once again.

     ‘Dr Harding, if there’s one thing I’ve learned about Optimus Prime, it’s that not every human being captures his attention like that.’ Lennox smiled. ‘I don’t know what it is about you, but if he can see something in you worth listening to, then I’m behind him all the way. If you need anything, call and I’ll see it done.’

     Lennox nodded once and left me standing in the corner of the hanger, grasping my notes to my chest. I took a deep breath and tried to psyche myself up to say thank you to the great Autobot leader. What I, once again, didn’t notice, was that he was watching me from the same spot he’d stood for the entire meeting, it was like he knew where I was at any given moment.

     I took another breath and walked over to him.

    ‘Um,’ good start. ‘I… wait.’

     I suddenly realised that I should’ve been up in the balcony to make it easier for him to see me. I tried to climb the stairs quickly, but there was a lot of them and by the time I got to the top where people were still working away on computers, I probably could’ve said thank you and left.

     ‘Hi.’ I panted, not exactly sure of why that was my opening line.

     ‘Hello.’ Optimus chuckled a little.

     I took another deep breath and pushed my glasses up. ‘I… I just wanted to say thank you for giving me the chance to speak. I know you’ve got a lot to deal with, so I appreciated the opportunity. And good luck for the mission.’ I nodded, having said what I wanted to say and went to leave.

     ‘I look forward to working along side you, Dr Jane Harding.’ He said as I was about to make my way back down the stairs. I looked at his hugely complex face and frowned. ‘I have requested that you be the one to lead the search for the human who could make such a climb. I will accept no other liaison.’

     My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have had a panic attack. ‘Me? But, I… I’m just an engineer, I’m not what you need.’

     ‘On the contrary, I have witnessed your actions in this room today, your compassion towards my kind, your bravery to stand up for what you believe. and your unwavering faith in your race. I have deemed you the only one capable of carrying out this task. I would be honoured to work along side you, Dr Jane Harding.’

     I wasn’t sure if time, my heart or the world had stopped, but something was slowing down before going into overdrive.

     ‘You want me?’ I asked, suddenly hating that that was the first thing that came to mind.

     ‘I do.’ Optimus nodded.

     I didn’t know what else to say, all I could do was nod and move out of the way of a soldier trying to get passed me on the balcony.

     I descended the steps and felt those blue eyes on me the entire way out of the hanger. I turned back to see Optimus still watching me, he raised a hand in farewell and once again the air of intimidation was lifted. I smiled and headed toward the minibus taking the scientists back to our accommodation.

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[paragonrobits]

so one thing I’ve come to realize after watching a fair number of reactions to Hunter the Parenting by people who specifically not old school fans of the World of Darkness setting, or have only been introduced to it THROUGh HtP, is that every single fucking things Big D says and does is a MASSIVE flag that he is something extremely weird even by the standards of the setting

but

in order to actually know this, you need to have some fairly in-depth knowledge of the setting.

so I’m watching these reactions growing continuously baffled at how people don’t react that much to, say, Big D talking about how time is an odious concept, or randomly screaming that Louis Pasteur was a fascist, or that him knowing WHY werewolves are vulnerable to silver is actually a huge deal, and it took me a while to realize: Big D is always rambling and saying weird things, so to these viewers a lot of what he does and says is comedic non sequiters.

But here’s the thing; a lot of the stuff he says MIGHT be non sequiters, or him being accidentally correct about something he doesn’t know shit about... but the thing about it is that he sounds like someone who knows the horrible secrets in the world of darkness that you DON’T know, that you CAN’T know, unless you’re one of the strange things in the dark, or have done the impossible task of learning all about them and actually have accurate information.

So, for some context on my examples:

When Big D says time is a concept, he’s not speaking metaphorically. This is BIG TIME, EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, REALITY-DEFINING MIND BREAKING SECRETS OF ALL COSMOS HERE. In the World of Darkness, reality is not objective. The laws of physics don’t really exist; reality is whatever the majority of people THINK exists, and the laws of science only apply specifically because scientific worldview is the norm among most of the world; because so many people believe that up is up, down is down, gravity keeps you on the ground and so on, that’s how it all works. BELIEF defines reality. Consequently, every aspect of existence is a concept, and when Big D says time is an odious concept, he’s not speaking metaphorically. This is an actual, inarguable truth of the setting.

In the same way, Louis Pasteur is likely a reference to the Technocracy, a secretive conspiracy founded by a number of mage guilds from Europe that banded together to further thier vision of an Enlightened world, but whom gradually succumbed to the evils of colonization, Eurocentric perspectives, abuse of power, and obsessively wanting to control all humantiy for its own good; through their work scientific reason has become the primary paradigm. In a lot of ways the mundane evils of the setting are at least implicitly their fault, and a lot of big names and historical figures are named as being part of the Technocracy; thus its not hard to assume Pasteur is thought to be one of these. (He was actually a vampire. He made himself a vampire with serums. It’s complicated, but the Technocracy assumption lines up with what Big D believes.) This also accounts for his apparent phobia of computers; while it MIGHT be him just being superstitious and weird, it also lines up extremely well with someone who knows the origin of advanced electronics as being literal magic.

And finally, werewolves. Everyone knows werewolves are vulnerable to silver, but not everyone knows why. Big D does; he outright tells Kitten it is because they have a compact with the moon. Put simply, THIS IS NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE. AT ALL. Werewolves in general are tremendously secretive, though not as murderous about it as vampires are, and preventing humans from learning about them is important enough to be in their solemn oaths. To know about the nature of their bond with the moon requires you to ALSO know about the spirit world; that spirits are real, that werewolves are very heavily linked to the spirits, and THAT is why werewolves are vulnerable to silver. Again, this is not common knowledge, not even among those who are learned in the supernatural. (At least, I don’t think it is.)

So while Big D sounds like he’s yelling in gibberish, almost every single thing he says is massively loaded with context to the greater world of darkness, and it might be him being right on accident... or that he knows more than he’s telling, or IS something more than he seems to be.