#it was clearly manipulation and r*pe

[greenqueenhightower]

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙵𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚝𝚜 || 𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚒���� 𝙿𝚊𝚕𝚘𝚖𝚊 / 𝙰𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝 + 𝙻𝚊𝚛𝚢𝚜

[harkre]

I don't know where to post this—

But it isn't like she and her "group" can't drive me off the server—because I've long left it behind. And it was I who originally introduced them to "Minecraft" which I had made a realm and invited them alongside friends. However, when people were suggesting I made a server—I told them it would take me awhile to make one. Well—Niklos couldn't wait and took everyone off from my realm and invited them to 'their server' without inviting me which I had to third-party to get a invite because I didn't even know about it!

And many don't know the actually reason why I left Moon Guard—it was due to "Niklos Adamant" Guild Leader of the Remnants of Lordaeron and it wasn't due to the "Minecraft" incident. They are manipulative and most of this stems due to lack of communication from them and other people. The only person that really communicated to me about any complaints was the leader from the Residuum. Apparently "Niklos" had a problem with me for months but never communicated about it once despite our close proximity in-game and being friends in discord. They never contacted me to expression their complaints to me directly for "months" and when they did contact me about it—

Literally didn't communicated back with me for "months" via discord and accused me of "siccing" my friends after them. When I wasn't even online in-game for that and don't know the full context of what had happened. Just that I was doing a role-play that involved someone wanting to role-play with people from the Cathedral group and that wanted to be involved with my story. But something happened and it blew way out of proportion and was never given screenshots of what actually occurred from either party. But as you can see Niklos hadn't contacted me since December of 2021 and all the way until May of 2022 and /whisper communication in-game was non-existent.

And the screenshots in regards to the conversation that had with Hillsbradian below were originally shown to me by Niklos herself before I joined their discord back in 2019 when I had originally joined Moon Guard and was desperate for friends. I should have taken screenshots but I never thought anything like this could occur in the future with "drama"

Basically they whispered me this tinyurl link that they were "sad" that these screenshots were going around framing them in a bad way and that they were fake. And basically said something like this: "you know that isn't my discord profile picture and name" and I was dumb enough to believe them—because I didn't know better and was just desperate for a friend. However the conversation always hit me as fishy because—"you can change your profile picture and name" at any time!

I stumbled back on the screenshots here on tumblr and clearly other people seem to be aware of them and that they aren't "fake"

I've made even more people aware of them. For example: "Gnews" "Eveneah Rosewood" and some of the core officers and the leader for the "Residuum of Icecrown" are aware of the screenshots and if there is more evidence apparently this Maxen has them.

Including of Bishop "Tyragonfal" which the Residuum of Icecrown does have a document about them with evidence for why they are "blacklisted"

Tyragonfal also stalked my character from the Residuum of Icecrown various times until I had to join a voice chat for the "Midnight Repose" to tell them to stop parking themselves right nearby me in emote range. They would also metagame using their alt in the Residuum of Icecrown at the time called "Nightravens" and they are a 38+ female player who was sending inappropriate messages to the officers from the Residuum of Icecrown in a very "s*xuel matter" and seem to target young men for their "r*pe" kinks and even wrote an inappropriate fanfiction with them and another character without their consent. Eitherway "Midnight Repose" defends them and Niklos gave them a high role in their Remnant of Lordaeron discord.

[my-pjo-stuff]

So I've recently seen someone asking why people hate/criticize Chiron and the gods for all the horrid stuff they did while at the same time still liking and defending Luke.

And to me it hinges on two main factors why that is: A) Luke is a villain and treated as such.

I don't think I really have to say that Luke is the main antagonist and "bad guy" in PJO. As such it's sort of to be expected of him to do some pretty bad stuff by virtue of his role in the plot. It's expected of him, and the plot never attempts to excuse or ignore his actions. Instead it points out pretty clearly that they are wrong and even punishes Luke for them narrativley. (Getting posessed by Kronos which leads to his death, losing connections with those he loves, getting worse and worse mentally and physically) B) The gods and Chiron are not.

Luke was the result of a kid snapping from the weight of the system, which drove him to commit the crimes. Which isn't an excuse ofcourse, but it is an explanation of his acts. The gods and Chiron lack such an explanation. Their behaviour happens just because that's who they are and that's what they normaly do. They are supposed to be either the good guys or morally grey (in the case of gods). Unlike Luke who HAS to do bad stuff for the plot to work, the gods do not. Chiron doesn't HAVE to withhold skills from campers like mist manipulation for example. Everything still would have gone much the same if Percy for example could manipulate the mist like Thalia in TTC. The gods are obviously shown to be in the wrong for ignoring their kids, yet it is portrayed as A-Okay when they r*pe mortals for example. Or when they break their promises and oaths. And unlike Luke they never have any real consequences for their act either. Sure they gotta claim kids now among other things, but that ain't really a punishment. Kronos was averted and Olympus is saved. The narrative only ever condemn them for being shit parents at the very end. The fact that throughout the story the main villains tend to intend to overthrow the gods or have something against them personally while the heroes work for the gods and to protect Olympus shows that in the narrative, the gods are on the side of the good guys and are ultimately treated as such.

[albert-tsum]

I just decided to ramble a bit about my sexuality hcs, ships etc about Wesker.

(I never thought I'd make so many text posts)

These are not going to be extremely precise analyses and will be influenced by my personal wishes and hopes. If I've written something that goes absolutely against the canon feel free to inform me.

It may become a bit uncomfortable since I wanna address some serious topics.

And it'll be too long again.

-------------------------------------------

1. General headcanons

Personally I see him on the aroace spectrum and/or as pansexual. He's not easily romantically or sexually interested in someone. I'd even say it happens almost never. He may be able to sleep with people he isn't into (maybe to manipulate them) but rarely does so (I also don't think he slept with Excella like some do, she clearly wanted it but he was able to manipulate her without sex). To be into someone this person needs something that intrigues or excites Wesker e.g. their intelligence, willpower, physical combat skills etc. But I don't think he would care much about the gender of his partner. He probably has more experience with women (e.g. he says in the OG RE1 that "he's not used to escort men") but is also open for men. As far I am aware his VAs Richard Waugh (a) and DC Douglas (b) said that he's not gender specific (a) and probably wouldn't limit himself (b) to one gender.

Either way I see him as queer.

2. My ships

As you see in my reblogs I ship him and William Birkin. He was Weskers only real friend whom he admired and trusted. That's a really big thing for Wesker so I like the hc that there was more than friendship between them and I would love to see them interacting more and learn more about their shared past.

The only other ship I like with Wesker is himxChris Redfield even tho it's kinda problematic. I like the STARS version of them where Chris looked up to Wesker who was fond and proud of him (but probably doesn't want to have feelings like this since he knows he will betray them at one point). I also kinda like the hc that Wesker maybe wanted Chris (and perhaps Jill) to join him if they hadn't make fun of his tyrant. Since I kinda like enemies to lovers and complex relationships like that I also enjoy post RE1 Chrisker. I'd love if it's not sheer hate between them but more like a mix of disappointed expectations, obsession and that they need eachother and the secret wish to have eachother on their side.

I am not the biggest fan of huge age gaps so Chris and Wesker having a difference of 15 years is something I am not too happy about. So early 20s is the lowest age I'd accept (like Jake's mother was).

3. My hopes and wishes

As I said I don't like huge age gaps so I dislike the ships WeskerxRebecca and WeskerxClaire. Rebecca was 18 und Claire 19 when they met Wesker and they are way too young for him. Because of that I really hope that Wesker isn't attracted to Rebecca. That would be a no-go even tho it's fictional and it'd destroy Wesker as a character for me. So I really hope Capcom won't make him someone who absolutely does not care about age to the extent where it's becoming creepy.

(that isn't meant to offend those who like these ships, it's just my personal opinion)

CW: r@pe

I also came across people claiming that he may be a r@pist (for e.g. controlling Jill in RE5). That's another case of yeah he is absolutely evil but that does not mean that he has every evil trait or crime committed. I am pretty sure he didn't do anything sexual to Jill (who had the control device on their chest not because Wesker is a pervert but because the devs wanted more fanservice). I don't think Capcom would make a important character like Wesker (who you can also play as) a r@pist (unlike Irons who was a really hateable side character who was hated even by Wesker)

Thx for reading 😅

[roguelemon]

This was meant to be a short little joke style theory but it turned into a character analysis so the before cut is the main interesting point and the rest you can read if you want my take on Vox as a whole, and what I personally would do with him nest season.

The reason why Vox hates the past so much is because he has so many regrets/ kind of hates himself for getting into the situation he's in where every waking moment is either dealing with his public image, dealing with Vals tantrum/manipulative bs (Yes I think Vox is being manipulated by Val I believe in the "Val can secrete a date r*pe drug type substance in his saliva") OR endlessly trying to make power grabs to "prove himself". The other overlords DO NOT like this man, I reckon that upsets him more than he lets on (my theory as to why he sent Velvett to that meeting instead) .

Vox focuses on "upgrading" because facing his past and where he fucked up is his literal worst nightmare. It just so happens that part of his past that he regrets (Alastor, whether you think it was a failed romantic proposal or not it CLEARLY had a big affect) is somebody who embodies the past.

He moves away from past technology to move away from Alastor. He constantly upgrades himself/ his products because looking into his past is not something he wants to do.

Of course, that only worked for 7 years, now Al is back he's FORCED to face at least some of where he fucked up which is why when we see him, despite being an overlord, he looks incredibly pathetic. It's not that his power level is so much below Alastor, (though that could be a factor) but he's facing his worst nightmare every time the deer fucker shows up.

Alastor pisses him off sure, but what really gets him so twitchy and almost paranoid is what Alastor represents, his past.

This isnt trying to defend Vox or whatever but I do think that he's the least objectively evil out of the Vees. To me he's a "doesn't want to be evil he just wants recognition and oops, now you've got it through bad means" kind of guy who's been teamed up with a sleezy manipulative asshole who doesn't seem to have any motivation other than just enjoying being a creep. And Velvette, who while we haven't seen anything super bad yet, she clearly endorses Val (the love potion advert) and is also more abrasive than Vox.

Its even more so shown in the finale when Vox is super exited about something (it's Alastor dying, but still) and the other two are just completely uninterested until it benefits them.

I've seen some people saying that Vox and Val are the main and Velvette is the one that's off to the side out of the three but despite doing, whatever you want to call THAT in the finale with Val, Vox is more obviously the one who doesn't line up with the other two as well.

Vox probably wished he'd pursued a deal with Alastor rather than the Vees because then he'd get what he wants, to be recognised and respected. Even though Al does mostly command through fear there is respect for him among those who are more powerful than him, all save Lucifer of course. Vox on the other hand has basically no respect from anyone who he doesn't mind control, Velvette treats him like Val control and Val is CLEARLY using similar tactics that he would on one of his 'employees' on Vox. (Acting super whiny/ guilt to get what he wants, pushing his buttons to get a reaction after his initial outburst didn't piss Vox off enough, THE RED SALIVA). While the annoyance between the three seems to be just petty bullshit I'm certain that, at least on a subconscious level that Vox knows that if he hadn't got in with them that he'd be better off. VoxTech certainly seems the most lucrative out of what the three control. And the other two wouldn't exist if it warned for the tech HE supplies. (Vox is the real backbone of the Vees). This man clearly SO DESPERATELY wants attention and to be adored. Rather than hating him like I do with Val, it makes me pity him. And THATS the centre of all this, he is pitiful and so has MORE room for character development.

Its fully possible that he blames himself for fucking up whatever proposition he had for Alastor when in reality, Al is just an ass but Vox can't see that

Of course this is just my interpretation, but it'd make S2 where the Vees are confirmed to be a bigger focus much more interesting if Vox also gets this internal dilemma/ self doubt.

They could still feasibly swing in either direction of characyer development and I'd consider it well written and thats what makes him so interesting to me. He has so much potential for both good and for evil, also for general annoyance and comedy.

If it were up to me I'd do the megamind route of FINALLY letting the character win against their enemy, only to end up pissed off about it because the person they pinned all their problems on wasn't actually the cause of them, then swing in a completely different direction because this is hell and the feel good stories are reserved for characters who believe in therapy. Maybe a song where Vox prevails, only to then later reprise in a version where he loses his sense of self a little, maybe finally realises how little the other two care after he finally bests Alastor in something but it doesn't matter because he "didn't get any new territory or souls" or something along those lines. A second song could be Vox actually coming into his own more with a song all about him, nobody singing over or with him. It doesn't even have to redeem his character it would just be singling him out as Vox, not one of the Vees.

This ramble was brought to you by the powers of procrastination. Congrats on actually reading all that shit. (And lmk if you'd add anything in your opinion?) =3.

[voidchildstar]

Yeah,it's gotten bad. So,it turns out ahhh,we are supporting the wrong side. We can hate rashtas actions but not her reasons because whoo boy,it's a lot. Navier becames unlikeable in season 2 and 3. Heinry,is a piece of crud,ergi is a toxic manipulative piece of crap,Kaufman is creepy same with sovieshu who is a whole ass idiotic and an idiot. It turns out : Heinly killing Duke Zimensia by torturing the man himself, without giving the duke any trial. Later massacred the whole dukedom including innocent people. And as usual he didn't face any consequences for it.

Lotteshu iterally lied to make Rashta look guilty. Besides I've better things to do, like what to do with this promissory note? In the past, Rashta gave it to Baron Lante to use it under her name. That backfired during her trial. It was such an unnecessary move from the charity board. The author had to make sure Rashta got slam dunked by every angle. Navier couldn't come forward with the allegation because of Kosair's attempted poisoning to Rashta's child and she covered for her baby killer brother. So author found a way to make Rashta's crime come to light through the director of the charity board. It's all fine and dandy when people who support MC, attempt to murder unborn children but it's bad when Rashta gave the money to charity under her name. She needed to be publicly shamed for it too, where kosair's sin never came to light. No wonder he got along well with the psycho named Heinley. Birds of same feathers flock together.

Also,if you're very supported Alan,please don't because Alan is disgusting and a slaver like his father. It turns out he's the one who literally entrapped rashta in this so called student x teacher marriage and the fact he was sympathize by a lot of those toxic happy readers because he's a good man. He is not a good man,he is a disgusting grapist. Turns out having sexual intercourse with a slave is basically grape(r*PE censored word). Also,if you wanna say rahsta is in the wrong,yeah she is but she's basically done those to survive. Not to mention,it's clearly normal for royal people to take in concubines,what sovieshu did wrong is always treating rashta like a child because he can't handle communication. Not to self,rashta is literally younger so take that as a word. Also,please note the claims she abandoned her child are wrong,she didn't know her son was still alive and she gave birth to him when she was very very young. Too young like maybe 13 or 18 at the time.

Wanna know the whole story,read this fic because it entails a lot of what's wrong with remarried empress:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/47891629/chapters/121109887#workskin

OH

MY

GODDDD

Did they get a new writer or something cause AIN'T NO WAY- There's literally so much to unpack here i can't even- not Navier becoming unlikable- I literally hate those types of mcs- and I guess Rashta is a victim now??? Crazy-

Thanks for the warning- if I ever start reading it again (which I probably won't tbh) I'll do a rant post about it

[welp-back-on-my-bs]

TW! History of SA and attempted R*pe

Type: hurt comfort (angst then fluff)

Silvio's Regret

The day was April 13th. It was before the king of Rohdinite died, before Belle was selected. Before Rio was found.

Morgan was still new to palace life. Even more so to liveing in Bennonite. They wondered around the palace, seeing it was oddly quiet. They couldn't find either Silvio nor André. It felt... off.

Emildio walked up to the lost enby, "Hello there. You're Silvio's current pet, right?"

"I'm not a pet." They glared at the prince.

"And I'm not a prince. I'm sure you're looking for your owner anyway." He didn't get a reply, so he continued "he usually is out at a bar. The old man gave him a lashing again. Quite pathetic, really."

"Whats more pathetic is talking shit behind your brothers back. Any dick sucking you need me to send him?"

"Not at all, I'm sure a woman will be by his side. A real one."

Morgan wasn't exactly affected by that little comment. They just left Emidio behind and went over to a nearby bar after dressing down a bit.

They went around the bar, looking for a lot of bottles, where women weren't, anything like that. But where they found the prince. Felt wrong to them.

He was clearly drunk, a woman getting really intimate with him. Too intimate. They both got up and Silvio paied the tab.

"Do you have a place nearby?~"

"Yeashhh"

That earned a soft giggle from the woman "any pla-"

"There you are, Silvio -"

"Who the hell are you?-" the woman snapped at them. "Are you trying to manipulate the poor prince in this weakend state?-"

"They would have done that mucccchhhhh sooner if they were" the drunk Silvio cut in, leaning on the two there for support

"I don't need to tell you, but I'm here to help him"

"Why would you steal him away from his fiance?-"

"Yeah- I would definitely have heard of that and of you. But, I haven't. I've actually never seen you before. So you're clearly not close to Silvio at all"

"I-"

"NO. You can back off. Think about shit. I'm taking him back to the palace."

"Nooo Morgieeee I don't wanna go there..."

"Hm? Why?"

"To saddddddd I gotta place nearby-"

"Ok- I remember all your places here, so let's go there-"

'I hope I actually remember...'

A bit later, Morgan managed to drag Silvio to one of his local vilas. Servants came and said that they would take him. Morgan refused them, asking for a bucket, water, and some bread.

Once into a room that they knew to be Silvios, they layed him onto the bed.

"Just get it over with..."

"What?-"

"You wanna get pregnant right...? Birth me an heir...?"

"N-no- I don't want that- I don't want to-" They were shaken up by the ask, a hand moved down to their stomach. As if remembering something no longer there.

"Then... why..."

"Because I'm your friend dumbass- I may be of Obsidian- but- but... I'd never take advantage of you like that."

The drunken Silvio looked at Morgan, shocked.

Then, let out a dry laugh. "Damn... the booze made things hard... I'm going to regret that when sober..."

Morgan sighed softly, then a knock was at the door.

Morgan opened it to retrieve what they asked for, denying the 'extras' they offered. Then they returned to Silvio and gave him the water.

"Tryin' ta get me moreeee drunk?-"

"No, I'm trying to make sure the hangover doesn't kill you-"

"... thanks..." Silvio gratefully took the water and sipped at it.

They placed the bucket by his bed, in case he couldn't even move in the morning.

"Do you want anything on the bread?"

"You?"

"Not happening. Anything else?"

"Just butter then" Silvio shrugged, Morgan put butter onto the bread and handed it to Silvio, who ate from their hand.

"... how did ya know..." Silvio softly asked, laying on Morgan's lap.

Morgan sighed softly, playing with Silvio's hair "I knew a man... who..." They sighed "I'll tell you that story when you're sober, ok...?"

Silvio chuckled and moved to look up at Morgan "it's funny... people want us when we don't want em... and when we want em... they don't want us..."

"Yeah... but you should finish your water... then you can sleep ok" They helped Silvio sit back up. He finished his water before laying back down in their lap.

"Tell me one of your stories...?"

"Fine- one, ok?" They smiled softly as Silvio cuddled close, grabbing their hand and moving it to his head.

Morgan obliged and started the story. It was about a pirate and a mermaid. The pirate had captured the mermaid, planning on selling her. But talking to her, she convinced him that if she was to be let go, she would help find him whatever treasures he desired. So, seeing that this was a good deal, he let the mermaid go. The crew was mad at the pirate, demanding that he prove that the mermaid was trustworthy. So he asked the mermaid to gather him a treasure of the sea. So she brought to him the most beautiful pearls.

So, with trust being formed, they both traveled the seas and fared for any treasure they could get. Some of the men of the ship wished the mermaid as the next treasure, either to sell or keep for themselves. The pirate told the mermaid to swim far away, to never listen to a request he gave again. So, the mermaid did.

The crew was upset that they lost their money maker, throwing the pirate overboard in relation. He sunk into the deapthes of the water until he saw the mermaid again. He was shocked and confused, and then the mermaid kissed him, returning his breath. He asked her why?- Why did she do such a thjng for him? Because I love you dearly. That's why.

They looked down to see Silvio was softly resting, looking at peace for the first time that day. They smiled gentley, moving Silvio's head onto his pellow, got up, and left.

[nottoofondofgaypeople]

In Regards to Gene

Content warning: abuse, r-pe, and light discussions of World of Warcraft

In a previous post that I have since taken down, I discussed the idea of the Shadow Knight Polycule and their victims in Laurance and Vylad. And in this discussion I really got away from myself and wrote some stuff that seemed... well not great at the time, but fitting for the characters and the story I wanted to tell. This reading wasn't very kind to Gene, but I've never been kind to Gene. I've been treating Gene like a punching bag since I first had to suffer through Phoenix Drop High Season 1, and it only worsened when I had to suffer through Lovers Lane.

As a result I hadn't thought about MCD Gene in a more sympathetic light until after that post went up. It was after that post went up that I started doing more ruminating on the Nether, The Shadow King, and the absolute horror of a Shadow Knights existence. It was after this ruminating that I realized that what happened with Gene was that I was treating him well...

Like Arthas Menethil. For a bit of context for those of you who haven't lost brain cells over World Of Warcraft, Arthas is basically the biggest evilest villain in WoW, but he's a villain the player can see the entire rise and fall of. The first campaign puts you in his shoes as a young paladin, and you watch as he constantly makes the worst, most violent, most evil choices through the entire campaign. Arthas is just an absolute and unapologetic monster who creates so many victims through his entire miserable existence that he keeps mementos of them.

And a lot of WoW fans try to characterize Arthas' story as a hero's fall thing? Like he was a good person who was corrupted by bad forces, even though you're shown him being a vile evil person before Frostmourne and the Lich King start fucking with him. Arthas was just a monster looking for an excuse. And I think I let that color my perception of Gene because he really is similar to Arthas in a lot of ways. He's pretty evil, manipulates people like nobody's business, uses magic to do so a lot, has a tense bitter relationship with an old companion, harasses one particular woman with white hair and an association to the color purple a lot, and the actual text of MCD never encourages the viewer to take a sympathetic look towards him, just like WoW.

As a result, I wrote him a lot like Arhtas, which in hindsight, might have been too harsh. Gene does have some redeeming qualities, and honestly with enough work he could possibly have been redeemed at some point. The tragedy of Gene in my rewrite is that said point in time has long past. Anyone foolish enough to try doing so now won't succeed.

Gene was not a good person before the Shadow King found him. A person worth understanding? Yes. A person with a chance of redemption? Maybe, depends on how Dante feels. A person who was also a victim of the Shadow King? Yes.

And that's where I changed my tune on Gene. While I hold the belief that Gene was far from perfect before he got turned, he still had a chance to be a good person before said turning. And the process of being broken down from the person he was into essentially an extension of the Shadow King was not kind to the remnants of a good person left in Gene. So, I want to be a little kinder to Gene.

Cutting the idea of him using Laurance I think it happened exactly once, and the context of it changes the scene from being outright r-pe into a dub-con territory. My previous characterization was dangerously close to the territory of "abuse victim becomes abuser", which I never want people to take from my work. I think that whole thing happened partially out of Gene's control and was really one of the moments that made him doubt what he was doing. These doubts are really too little too late though.

The degrading of Gene's relationship isn't entirely his fault either. While he still clearly loves Sasha and Zenix, the Shadow King calls on him more and more, pulling him away from them. And when the Shadow King breaks Zenix it only gets worse. Gene and Zenix are pitted against each other because the Shadow King realized they were both having silly little thoughts about free will and would turn against him. This polycule was never going to last because if the three of them got along and were normal and without the Shadow Kings influence for like two days they would have started a rebellion before Laurance ever even entered the Nether.

I think Gene struggles to show affection while around others. If Sasha or Zenix flirts with him around other shadow knights, he gets really tense and uneasy about it. But the minute they're alone it's endless kisses and apologies and reassurances. Despite having a skewed understanding of love, Gene is very good at showing it. Gene feels like someone who loves in an overwhelming sense, you feel like you're drowning in his love, for better or for worse.

Gene is not going to get redeemed in my rewrite. But he will be humanized. People will try to call him a violent thoughtless monster, and Sasha will gladly assure them that he is a violent calculated monster with thoughts and emotions that's being tormented by the voices of the departed. Gene will never be seen as a hero by his family, but he will likely never know if he has a family to begin with. Gene is a character who deserves better, but has lost every chance at it he possibly could have had.

[ctheathy]

Rules for submitting asks

Requests : Open // Closed

Masterlink ➘➘➘

Communities+ Characters

Current Drafts + Inbox Requests

Make sure to specify; [when unspecified, it shall likely be written off as romantic]

Platonic • Romantic [Committed relationship] Romantic Tendencies [Non-dating for now]

┏━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━┓

SFW - fluff - yandere alphabet [6-7 letters per ask] ☚

general - fluff - angst - suggestive- NSFW - yandere headcanons ☚

short concept of your choice ☚

oneshot ☚

matchups for Lego Monkie Kid ☚

talk to the characters! ☚

scenario based on a song ☚

small roleplay scenario ☚ [this requires either an ooc sentence, question or an in character interaction given by the requester]

┗━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━┛

♢ Angst

♡ Fluff

♤ Hurt/Comfort

♧ Suggestive or NSFW [dom readers only, no exceptions.]

Suggestive ➼ turn offs/ons ,, light fetishes ,, their vocality ,, arousing intimacy ,, kissing ,, non-explicit sexual activities ,, tame smut content

NSFW ➼ will often include one or more climax(es) ,, intercourse ,, genitalia mention ,, bodily fluids ,, kinks ,, descriptive details

┏━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━┓

🌻 Some a-okays for requesting :

given characters as yanderes. [yan. Readers are no biggie either]

separate AUs for each of the characters

dark topics : obsession - addiction - drugging - self harm - suicide and/or suicidal tendencies - detailed torture - abuse in general - manipulation - emotional dependencies - grooming - neglect - incest - sexual abuse - noncon/r#pe implications - eating disorders - near-death scenarios - reader's demise - heavy/descriptive gore

fics on the suggestive side + smut are allowed on this blog. [No age confirmation has to be given either. It���s not in my right to tell you what you can and cannot read/request. Besides; people lie.]

major character death [Reader insert included].

hypersexual reader - pregnant reader [female only] - mother/father reader

vent requesting

Explanation+rules for vent requests :

Every now and then, I get a request with some very explicit details about either a problematic scenario or negative traits/behaviour the reader is dealing with. Many of these often include darker topics that can be a major issue to deal with in real life, something a lot of people would struggle to recover from, relapsing included also. These are what I'd like to call vent requests. They refer to a very distinct ask that goes far into details that are so very precise that it's quickly considered to be an experience or event the requester has underwent themselves. With the request just being a plead for comfort/validation.

I can usually tell these apart, but please try to mention it anyway if you send in a vent request, so I can try and be more careful of how I write it and so triggers can be prevented. Some authors tend to write a very toxic/abusive dynamic and the [insert character] in clear distress whenever a troubled reader is requested. And it's just not something that I really agree with. The issues they've described should never be generally validated, excused, romanticised or even normalised when they're clearly written off as problematic for both the character in question and the reader themselves. But it shouldn't be unrealistically written as the only trait in the entire relationship.

People can recover and are redeemable. But when somebody sends in a request that includes a topic that's clearly been bothering them, [let's be real here. nobody would send in a self harming reader request for shits and giggles] it isn't fiction anymore. It's somebody's personal struggles we're talking about. And writing a toxic/abusive dynamic with that reader + [insert character] due to those particular traits would just be like rubbing salt in the wound. You'd basically just be stomping all over the requester's suffering, which can result in embarrassment, shame and make them feel like terrible people even when they're not.

🌷 Minor rules and information to keep in mind :

I’ll allow the minimum of gendered readers, but only on short concepts/plots. If you request for general or detailed headcanons, the reader’s sex shall remain vague no matter if it was in the request or not. This rule of course doesn't apply for NSFW/intercourse for obvious reasons. A character wouldn't love you any more or less if you just so happened to fit that one specified gender.

I am a lot less experienced writing for male readers due to being a girl myself, obviously. It'll definitely take me more time and practice to grow confident in my NSFW work for the lads out there and have the guts to post it.

all the characters I'll write for are aged up to a certain degree to fit a more appropriate demographic. When the said character happens to remain underage for the sake of the concept, it'll be mentioned in my greeting beforehand.

five characters per headcanons post is the limit. For any oneshot + RP scenario requests, keep it at one unless if rivalry or sharing is caring is specified.

please don’t mix up any fandoms in one single request. Several characters of programs who are connected to one another [example; Popee the Performer & Chinchikurin] is no issue, but not directly from a whole nother community.

any given requests likely won’t be released in order. I’m truly sorry about this. But as soon as I finish an ask, I try posting it as quick as I can. It truly just depends on my interest for the said character and motivation for the post itself.

I’ll do a variety of non healthy concepts,,

BUT. I absolutely do not support such mindsets and I advise you don’t get off on the idea of being taken advantage of in such ways, especially with dynamics that are clearly written off as abusive. When you're experiencing these in real life, please reach out for help/support.

🌹 🚫 Things I shall strictly not accept : 🚫

character x character requests. might throw out a small shipfic here and there, though.

readers with a specified ethnicity/skin tone, there’s only one race out there and that's the human race. I want my work to be readable for anyone out there and I do not care about anybody's skin color.

a whole request just being about a reader coming out as homesexual/lesbian, trans, et cetera. I apologise, but these topics are not the type I prefer getting myself involved with.

yandere [insert character] x yandere reader

everyone's opinions vary, but I do not find the concept of two toxic and mentally scattered individuals emotionally eating at eachother all that appealing.

this only applies for the reader insert; the use of cigarettes and/or drugs of one's own free will - masochistic behaviour - brainwashing - hypnotizing - obtaining stockholm syndrome

I won't allow ocs/self-inserts/readers with too many described oc-like traits for the sake of keeping it remotely relatable to the audience. Of course my reader insert isn't going to be a dry wall with no personality. But writing for a "reader" with too many explicit characteristics isn't it.

Sub!Readers when requesting smut/suggestive themes. Your request will automatically get deleted due to discomfort reasons for the author.

NSFW threesome. Please request for just one character per smut post. I'm not too comfortable with writing steamy content for threesomes and/or more than just the reader + [insert character]. Plus, I'd really just wanna concentrate and go in unnecessary explicit detail for the said character.

┗━━━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━━━┛

Many projects of my work are proofread several times in order to prevent spelling errors and gendered labels. But if you still manage to come across one, let me know! I'd want to fix it.

If any artwork that appeared in my posts just so happens to belong to you, and you dislike having your art attached to my work and/or want it removed, please DM me and I'm sure we can figure something out together. I usually try giving credit with a link right under the picture, but it's unfortunately quite difficult to find the original artist nowadays.

you may translate my fics as long as credit is given to my blog. In which, I'd love to see the translations as well! so mayhaps consider sending me a link too :)

if you suddenly happen to feel embarrassed/ashamed of a request you've sent in my inbox for whatever reason, feel free to let me know! I'll either remove the request as a whole or make a separate post that doesn't have anonymous asks/your blog name attached to it, deciding on your preference <3

May add more in the future ...

[chillingintheunderdark]

TW for sexual assault/r*pe

God give me the strength to write the fic where druid!Tav is a rape survivor herself, but she is good at hiding her trauma and her inability to truly enjoy sex. Astarion had no idea that her waking up when he tried to drink her blood stemmed from grueling experience that made her be on guard even when she slept.

He also didn't know that him asking to drink from her directly paralleled how other people used her body for their pleasure, and hurt her in the process, not caring in the slightest. Even though she agreed to let him drink, the conversation tore old wounds anew, and left her feeling like no matter what she does, all people will ever want is to use and abuse her body.

Later, she agrees to Astarion's proposal regarding sex as well, despite that being absolutely NOT what she really wants or even enjoys, but unlike Astarion, she can clearly see through his facade, and she is content to make him feel safe by making him believe he succeeds with his manipulation, and also because this way she can be sure that she won't end up with a dagger in her back in the middle of a battle, or fall asleep and never wake up due to blood loss.

And no, she absolutely did not start to slowly fall for him, especially after he surprisingly saved her life in battle. She. Did. Not.

And she was most certainly not hurting deep down due to the fact that Astarion was clearly still trying to manipulate her by using sex against her. Oh no, she is wholly detached from all this, it does not affect her at all!

But one day, when they stole away into the forest again, Astarion decides to try something new. He pins Tav down with all his body weight, holds her hands firmly in his grip, and goes for her throat – not to bite down, but to scrape his fangs alongside her skin, hoping to make her shudder.

In his defence, he did meet a lot of people who were into this sort of sex. If Tav were not one of those, he expected her to speak up, and he’d stop, but she did not. Instead she went rigid for a long moment, and then she started violently trashing in his grip.

Astarion lets go immediately, letting Tav gain some distance from him, but he also sees an opportunity – as distraught as Tav is right now, her defenses down, he can easily use the tadpole to gain some insight into her thoughts.

What he sees there – the pain, fear and disgust he feels through the memory! -, hits so close to home for him, leaves him stunned in so many ways, that he misses how Tav quickly grabs her clothes and disappears through the woods.

He finds her in the middle of an ancient druid circle – a circle surrounded by stones, the earth saturated by druidic magic to the point of repelling any necromantic powers, including vampires, if the damage he received upon entering is any indication.

He immediately steps back out, though the sight of Tav’s hunched back and her arms defensively around herself like she is one push away from falling apart make Astarion want to touch her, hold her, press her close and never let go. He’s never seen her so defenseless and vulnerable before – it made him realize that he didn’t understand her until now, didn’t see any of the signs.

With the circle keeping him out, the only thing he can offer is an ear, when Tav starts talking – pours out all the pain she has been carrying inside her, and the realization that he has been contributing to it makes Astarion flinch. He can’t stay out any longer – magic be damned! He rushes to her, ignoring the sting of druidic magic repelling him, and finally crushes into her, pulling her into his arms.

Tav, who’s been far away, didn’t notice him approaching until strong arms pressed her into his chest, tearing her out of her thoughts, and the dam finally broke.

Astarion held her as long as she needed – until her tears ran dry and she stopped trembling, her breathing evening out. At some point she started neutralizing the druidic powers surrounding them, so that Astarion stopped feeling the damage. He was lucky she did so, because he wasn’t sure he’d let her go even on the threshold to death.

At the end of the night they found themselves sitting on the ground, confessing their feelings, and fears and traumas to each other, and Astarion wished nothing more than to turn back time and never have approached her about blood sucking, or the sex. If he’d only taken time to get to know her, instead of trying to manipulate her from the get go…

Tav fell asleep in his arms at dawn, and he carefully carried her back to the camp and into his tent.

Once they’d wake up, it would be time to start anew, and he’d begged the Gods that he won’t do any mistakes this time.

[disneyanddisneyships]

My OC's Family and Backstory

@gyubby99 enjoy this.

Warnings!!!: mentions of r*pe, abuse, trauma, su*cide, hell.

This is a Hazbin Hotel AU

So first we have her parents. Her mother Deborah and Father Charles.

So her mother is a catholic woman. But she's the Karen type of catholic. Like she catches her kids doing something wrong she'll go through their stuff and shit just to make sure they aren't inviting the devil into her home. (But then she'll go around and smoke a cigarette) Deborah is very manipulative and can be cruel most of the time.

Charles however, is such a good father. He'll let his kids sneak some sweets behind his wife's back, He'll let them go to a friend's house, He'll give them all the privacy they need. He loves his kids more than life itself and he'd do anything for them.

Next up we have Aponi and her little brother.

Aponi is such a daddy's girl. When she was a kid she would always play dress up with him, she'd be the princess and he'd be the prince. Normal kid things. Whatever she did she'd know her dad would be there for her. She's also bi. Told her mom and Deborah didn't talk to her about two weeks.

And now we have her brother, Gabriel. (Named after the angel) this man is a closeted gay Boi. He knows he's gay, but also knows if he came out to his mother, he'd be kicked out. He and Aponi/Lilly were best friends growing up. they told each other everything and had a really good relationship.

Okay. So aponi's backstory is really sad.

First off, her real name is Lilly, but she goes by Aponi when she gets to hell.

Growing up Lilly's mother was strict, and most of the time she felt unloved. As a kid with a parent like that it's hard to see clearly when choosing friends or significant others.

In high-school, Lilly met Jason. They became high-school sweethearts.

When Lilly and Jason were both 18, Lilly told her mother she'd be moving in with him.

At that moment, her mother disowned her. "If you won't follow my rules you won't be considered family," basically made no sense but Deborah being the manipulative woman she is went on a whole entire mother gothel tangent.

Lilly and Jason moved in together anyway.

Jason had a hard time. He started doing drugs and drinking, Ultimately getting Lilly roped into doing it as well.

Months had passed and Lilly decided she wanted to stop. Her addiction was getting out of hand and she wanted it to be over.

So she got sober, much to Jason's dislike, but it's not like he could do anything about it.

Jason didn't stop though.

And one night, at like early in the morning he came home, almost blackout drunk.

Lilly took him to their shared bedroom to lay him down and get him some water, but the second they got inside Jason overpowered her and r*ped her.

Jason fell asleep afterwards, leaving Lilly to her depression which Ultimately became too much.

She hung herself.

She woke up in hell.

Later on a few years later the only job she could get at the time was working for Valentino at a strip club. Thats where she met her best friend, Angel Dust who helped her find a new job far away from their creepy boss.

A few months later Angel Dust convinced her to stay, rent free, at the happy hotel, explaining that it was supposed to be a program that redeemed demons.

She agreed and hazbin living there ever since.

[noperopesaredope]

(So, I wrote this post out a long while back when the situation was still pretty fresh. I rediscovered it in my drafts recently, and realized that while it was an outdated statement/no longer relevant, I think it makes some points that I feel are important to talk about in regards to consent and respecting boundaries. So I’ve decided to add a little more to it and just put it out there for people to learn from if they can take something away from it)

I 100% support Kwite, but there was just one thing I was thinking about whilst watching his response.

Kwite, at 5:41: “I am not trying to paint this as some instance of me being assaulted or violated-”

Also Kwite: *Literally just described an incident that was an instance of him being assaulted*

Kwite, for about 16 minutes out of the video: *Describes and shows evidence of Orion sexually harassing and low key threating him*

Me: “........”

Me: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLikP6BDH5w”

~~~~~~~~

I just can’t stop thinking about this. I think one of the things that upsets me the most about this whole situation is that Orion accused Kwite of r*pe and emotional abuse, but also technically sexually assaulted Kwite (as well as sexual harassment and what could be interpreted as threats) whilst engaging in what could be considered (extremely disturbing) emotionally abusive behaviors.

As mentioned above, Kwite said that he wasn’t accusing Orion of assaulting him in that instance, but I’d argue that it was a textbook example of coercion. Planned Parenthood lists manipulation as a form of coercion, and the February 18th incident definitely fell under manipulation in multiple ways.

Orion put Kwite in a situation that clearly made him uncomfortable, then said that he would only stop if Kwite agreed to kiss him (something Kwite had already expressed discomfort with). Kwite only agreed to it in order to make Orion stop, and Orion later brought it back up, causing Kwite to feel pressured to follow through with his “promise.” What makes this coercion is the fact that Orion put Kwite in a situation which made him uncomfortable, used that situation to make Kwite promise to do something that made him uncomfortable, and then brought it back up again later with the expectation for the promise to be fulfilled, which could be considered an indirect (or direct) form of pressuring Kwite.

Forced/unwanted kissing is a form of sexual assault, and because this incident fulfills the criteria of this, it counts as an instance of SA. Which makes this whole thing even more gross to me. Orion said that he was assaulted that day, when in actuality, it was Kwite who was the victim.

This is made even worse by the fact that the day before this went down, Orion told Kwite that if he did not do the thing that Orion wanted, Orion would kiss him. Again, Kwite had already expressed discomfort with the idea of being kissed, and though he did so playfully, he clearly said that he would dodge that unwanted show of affection. And yet, Orion insisted, and while reading the texts, I started to get...uncomfortable.

It already felt weird that Orion would say he would do something that he knew made Kwite uncomfortable unless Kwite did what Orion insisted he do. Like, maybe it was just their dynamic, but still, pretty weird to “joke” about, right? But then, which Kwite re-established his boundaries, Orion doubled down, saying that Kwite cannot dodge the kiss, and basically said that he will do it anyways (if Kwite doesn’t do the thing).

Could this be considered a threat? Not exactly, but with the added context from before, Orion’s previous/later behavior, Kwite’s direct expression of how he didn’t want a kiss, and the types of phrasing that he used + persistense, I would personally describe it as a threat. Not like a “I’ll knife you” threat, but a subtle type of threat. A threat to break personal boundaries, to invade Kwite’s personal space, to disrespect his personal wishes on what type of relationship they had. It may not seem extreme, but it’s still pretty gross and basically harassment.

Then we get more examples of Orion “lightly” threatening Kwite, and this is where my stomach started to churn. When Kwite didn’t answer a call once because he was busy, Orion “jokingly” texted that “I’m gonna fuck you if you don’t pick up.”

.......

.......

What in the actually everloving fuck.

That was basically a rape threat. And Kwite directly responded with “don’t fuck me,” a way of subtly yet clearly establishing that he was uncomfortable with that. Earlier in the video, he had already shown examples of him telling Orion that he was uncomfortable with Orion telling him he wanted to do certain romantic acts with him. 

Even if Orion might have been “joking” in this instance, Kwite had previously established a boundary, and this kind of thing would cross most people’s boundaries. When it comes to those like Kwite, who have clear, specific boundaries and are slightly sensitive regarding topics related to sex, it would be obvious to either make sure that the other person finds jokes like that funny or simply not make that type of joke.

But then Kwite proceeds to give us multiple other examples of Orion making that type of “joke” where he would threaten to perform sexual acts on Kwite if he didn’t do what Orion demanded.

I think this is all important to talk about in terms of consent. While the two were friends and these things were considered “jokes”/”not a big deal,” I think they are in some ways and we should acknowledge that this kind of thing is not okay. I think something we can take away from this is that boundaries are complicated yet simple, and if someone lays out boundaries for you, then you shouldn’t cross/push against those boundaries, even “jokingly.”

I feel like maybe this post might be able to help someone realize that if they are in a friendship like this, the way they are being treated is not normal or okay in any shape or form. Please stay safe out there, and remember that you deserve to be treated like a person and should never be pressured into doing stuff like this.

[kcrra]

Alicent is a jealous cunt she loved Rhaenyra but will literally ruin her and their life because of bitterness envy. Justify it or whatever

sooooooo true but you fail to see the vision: she is my jealous repressed lesbian tradcath in love with her homoerotic bestie cunt <3

can you honestly imagine a world in which you are a 15 year old in love with your bestie and then are forced by your abusive dad to marry a rotting pile of flesh who then r*pes you so frequently you have four kids by like 19 so you're a teen mom with literally no love in your life but duty, religion & some weird incel dudes and then ur ex homoerotic bestie's son takes your kid'd eye with no consequence and btw shes also been clearly sleeping with other ppl who aren't you while you suffer and perceive her (incorrectly) as free and thats not even getting into your powerlessness as a woman abused as a womb over a person in a patriarchal society that also has piled catholic guilt and repression on you not to mention how much work your shit dad has done to manipulate you oh and the fact that you're a lesbian and you DON'T become envious and deranged ??? wow im getting emotional typing this,,,,,anyways stan alicent hightower,,,,my beloved little meow meow....my jealous cunt....love her <3

[fuwushiguro]

Let’s Get Right, Okay? Okay.

Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Genre: Smut & Angst

Notes: This is for @stariwrites 300 follower event milestone collab! Thank you for letting me join and have extra time to get this right bestie 💖 and thank you to @twicesbrat for beta reading ily girl... P.S. if u read this and u think my writing is messy and weird it’s on purpose I promise I’m setting tone... ENJOY!

Synopsis: You know him, you really feel like you know him. It’s strange, he feels safe. He feels like home. Your common sense is telling you that it isn’t wise to trust a man you just met in a shady dive bar. But he thinks you’re an angel. He thinks you’re an honest to God angel, and if you were in your right mind you’d call him a devil. That scar, that damn scar should be all the proof you need that he isn’t a good man. But looking at him, speaking with him, listening to him is making you think he’s anything but a devil. It wouldn’t matter if he were, anyway, because what is a devil but a fallen angel?

Warnings: 18+, dubcon/noncon, attempted r*pe mention, victim blaming, alcohol consumption, memory loss, obsessive relationship, toxic relationship, manipulation, coercion, praise kink, virgin reader, virginity loss, dacryphilia, blood mention/play (it’s nothing just two mentions basically), oral sex (female receiving), vaginal penetration.

Words: 7.8k

It’s unusual that everything is dark, but you can hear so clearly. It isn’t just dark; it’s black. You can’t see a single thing. Are you blind? Or are you in a dark room? It’s a feeling you’ve never experienced before, you aren’t even sure you’re real. Do you have a body? A mind? You must, otherwise you couldn’t think like this. You can’t consume the noises, the sounds, the voices. It’s odd, but something is telling you that you’re being watched. Studied, even. You think you hear the words ‘one more chance’ and ‘test’… something else too, ‘six gates?’ did you hear that right? But that’s about it. What is this stabbing pain in your stomach? Everything is becoming light. Suddenly you feel mortal, you feel real. You must have a body, you have to because you feel like your retinas are about to burst from the light suddenly penetrating them. It all seems familiar. This light feels familiar.

Have you done this before?

Perhaps it was a dream. Because now that the blistering light has been removed from your eyes, you do feel mortal. What else would you be? You’re a girl. You’re a girl in a bed, but your hearing is fuzzy. You wouldn’t have noticed, your bedroom is so calming and so you. Isn’t it? Isn’t this your room? Isn’t this room what makes up your personality, mannerisms and unusual quirks?

The reason you have noted that you can’t hear a God damn thing is that a woman is standing in your doorway screeching at you. What she’s saying, you’ll never know. But she’s pissed, she’s really pissed at you. She’s red in the face and you wouldn’t be surprised if steam started puffing out of her ears. Your eyes squint as you try to read her lips. Is she calling you a… bum?  A shooting pain darts from temple to temple and shatters across your forehead. Your ears are ringing like a bomb just went off in your room. You aren’t deaf, are you? You could hear when things were dark, but was it a dream? Will you never be able to hear?

When the ringing stops, the woman’s voice comes in. It’s low at first, although you’re sure the volume is boisterous if the vein twitching near her hairline is anything to go by. Slowly but surely your suspicions are proven correct.

“You’re a fucking adult and your sponging off me and your dad! The fuck is wrong with you? It’s 5pm and you’re just waking up?!” she bellows.

She’s your… mother? Why didn’t you know that? And you have a father too. You live with them. This is their house. They’re paying for you to live under their roof… Are you broken? Is something wrong with you? Your breathing hitches, you’re trying to remain calm but you’re terrified. Why couldn’t you remember your own mother?

“You know people your age have jobs, don’t you? You’re too busy out partying every night? Is your head hurtin’ darlin’? ‘Cause your fuckin’ hungover again! I can’t even stand the sight of you right now—!” she spoke, leaving the room before she even finished her sentence.

You… Party?

Seconds later you’re abruptly removing your duvet and springing to your feet. You have a white vanity table. You think that it’s quite glamorous, cute. It must be nice to use this to get ready all of the time. That’s when you see yourself in front of the mirror. It’s odd, like you’re seeing your face for the very first time in your entire life. You examine yourself. What colours eyes you have, the texture of your hair, the pigment of your skin. You smile. It isn’t a toothy grin, just a simple smile. Is it big headed to think of yourself as beautiful? You think you are. You don’t feel insecure, you think you have a nice face. So, why wouldn’t you think you’re beautiful? Something is going on. Your memories are practically non-existent. There’s a phone on the vanity, is it yours? It lights up to your touch, it unlocks to your face. Yes, it’s yours. You have one text message.

Niko: Drinks @ The Bluebell tonight? Me u n Sara 💖💦

You reply with an ok, is that a good response? You don’t know, or care. Maybe they have some answers for you. Maybe they can answer why you feel so odd, so inhuman. Even your fingers don’t feel like yours as you type. But it doesn’t matter, you suppose you should start to get ready. Is The Bluebell a regular spot of yours? It could be. This could be where you spend being a party girl most evenings, to the dismay of your mother. Should you go and risk making her even more furious with you? You’re already doing your makeup as you ask yourself the question, so that is as good an answer as any.

You want answers. You need to shake your memories loose. But even if you can’t, you assume a night out with your… friends will be fun.

They’re both beautiful, like you. They both have black hair but different faces. Polar opposites in fact. Birds of a feather flock together. You think. The Bluebell turns out to be a… less than appealing dive bar. It’s okay. This is okay. When you grab a table, they’re both laughing and joking about how ‘crazy’ it is that you’re all out together for another night in a row. Your stomach drops then. Could you be an alcoholic? The thought is shook away as the one named Niko goes to the bar and returns with drinks. Do you dare? Yes. You do. It’s called a beer, and you think it’s disgusting. They seem to think you like it for some reason. You can’t pretend you don’t like it now; you must be in too deep.

A few hours pass and it’s the early hours of the morning. You’re tipsy. Or are you drunk? Everything is spinning and you fear that standing to your feet may cause you to stumble and fall. Sitting is nice. You think sitting for a while longer will be nice, nice and safe.

“He keeps checking you out bestie.” Sara speaks. To who you aren’t sure.

But when Niko doesn’t react or respond, you deduce it was directed at you. Your eyes find hers, your mind is hazy but you think she’s tilting her head in a direction for you to look. A lump has formed in your throat, will you vomit if your eyes follow her direction? You managed to see where she’s looking without puking everywhere. She was referring to a man sitting at the bar. He’s seated on a stool, both of his feet on the foot-rest. Both of his hands are wrapped around a bottle of beer that is resting on the countertop. His body is facing the bar but he’s looking over his shoulder at you. When his eyes meet yours, he raises his head so you can better see his features. He winks at you before facing the bar again. Your friends are squealing, and even you can’t ignore the blood pooling in your cheeks warming your face. His hair is dark and a little long. He owned a pair of fresh jade coloured eyes that made your heart twinge. You weren’t sure, but the brief view of his face you had, you could have sworn he had a scar on his lips.

“He’s sexy…” Niko blushed.

“Do I… know him?” you asked your friends. They both looked at each other and started laughing, but when they piped down Sara shook her head.

“Too much to drink for you!” Sara teased. You laughed. Not a real laugh, it was a singular sound with a huff of oxygen to match. It wasn’t funny, what she said wasn’t funny.

Something is telling you that you know him.

“I usually have to buy a pretty girl a drink before they join me at the bar.” he tells you.

Were you really that drunk? You don’t remember getting out of your seat. It was a miracle that you didn’t buckle in on yourself and fall to the ground like a frightened little deer. Honestly, maybe you did. Everything seemed to go black for a second. But you look down at your knees and they don’t appear to be marked or bruised. You bring your attention back to the man in the barstool beside you, smiling sweetly, you have a good idea what to reply. Is this who you are? Are you a flirt? Are you a woman who lets random men in bars hit on them? Do you go home with them?

“Buy a pretty girl a drink for joining you at the bar.” you tell him. He smirks. He prods his index finger and thumb past his lips and whistles powerfully. He’s signalling the bartender. You can’t keep your eyes off his mouth, and you were right. He did have a scar on his lips. What an intriguing little mark. The barman plonks another bottle of beer in front of you, the man leans away from you and returns with a black plastic straw from one of the plastic containers situated on the bar. He puts it in the bottle with a smile of pride. He’s proud of himself, for what? “I hate this drink.” you tell him bluntly.

His eyebrows furrow. He looks between you and the table with your abandoned friends. They don’t seem bitter, in fact, it looks like they’re examining the conversation and rooting for you. Rooting for what?

“I saw you sweetheart, you’ve been drinkin’ these all night.” he tells you. You shrug your shoulders in response.

“And? I hate them.” you respond coldly. He smirks at that.

“Shall I get you something else?” he asks, but you shake your head. You’ve been drinking them all night, no reason for you to stop now. “That’s real polite. You’re cute, y’know? Like a sweet little angel.”

You drink through your straw and your big doe eyes are fixated on him. Your heart melted at those words, but you couldn’t tell him that. He couldn’t know that. You know him, you really feel like you know him. It’s strange, he feels safe. He feels like home. Your common sense is telling you that it isn’t wise to trust a man you just met in a shady dive bar. But he thinks you’re an angel. He thinks you’re an honest to God angel, and if you were in your right mind you’d call him a devil. That scar, that damn scar should be all the proof you need that he isn’t a good man. But looking at him, speaking with him, listening to him is making you think he’s anything but a devil. It wouldn’t matter if he were, anyway, because what is a devil but a fallen angel?

“What’s your name?” you ask him earnestly. You’re sure if you knew him as much as you thought you did you’d remember his name. You can’t feel all of those feelings for someone, such strong unabashed feelings without knowing their name. Then again, you didn’t remember your mother was your mother a few hours ago.

“Toji, darlin’. Toji Zen’in.” he informs you. You nod, and he moves his head in a particular manner. The sort of manner that indicates he’s expecting something of you. “Don’t I get to know the name of the girl I bought a drink?” he adds to his expectant expression.

“Oh,” you speak. Of course, your name. Fuck… Your name… “I don’t know.” you tell him. He laughs, all of his teeth bared at your response.

“I’m sorry?” he replies.

“My name, I don’t know it. I don’t know my name.” you tell him calmly. It feels like a social hiccup. But you’re either too drunk to care, or you really don’t care. You don’t remember your own fucking name, it’s as simple as that.

“Jesus, you’re funny. Or are you crazy? If you don’t want me to know your name that badly—”

“I just told you, Toji, I don’t know my name.”

“Alright, alright.” he sniggers, taking a swig on his beer to hide his amusement.

It was a fair question. Are you funny? Or are you crazy? You sip softly at the rest of your beer. You shouldn’t have drank it that fast. What a stupid idiot you are, he could have slipped anything in your drink and you’re downing it like its water. Would he? He doesn’t seem the type. You don’t fucking know him. I do I do know him! You argued with yourself. It felt like the two halves of your brain were splitting in an unwinnable battle. How could you know? Could you just outright ask him if you know him?

“How about I pretend I never told you my name. D’ya wanna come back to my place and have anonymous sex?” he spoke.

The question was repulsive. Not only that, it was insulting. Toji Zen’in was a laughing man. He’d showed you as much in this one encounter, laughing a few times either at or with you. But now he wasn’t laughing. He wasn’t laughing because he was serious. He had a look in his eye that told you he wanted to eat you, he’d eat you whole on the spot if he could. In front of everyone. He wouldn’t care. He strikes you as a man who doesn’t care what people think or what they’d have to say. In fact he doesn’t strike you as such, you just know this about him. Why do you fucking know this man? And although the question was both repulsive and insulting, it was the most exhilarating question he could have asked you right now.

“Yes, I’d like that.”

You get a cab to his apartment. His hand rests on your thigh the whole way. He occasionally leans over to kiss your cheek softly. It amuses him when you turn your head to face him so his lips land on yours instead. It’s chaste, it would almost be romantic if he didn’t refer to the encounter as anonymous sex. That scar… That beautiful age old scar has such a familiar sensation when you feel it. You can almost taste the reminiscence.

He steps out before you, holding a hand out for you as you crawl out of the backseat. He leads you up the stairs to the entrance of his building. He doesn’t fumble with his keys like you expect him to with access to only one hand. It’s almost like he’s done this before. Has he? Have you?

You get in the elevator and he’s still holding your hand. For such a rugged and intimidating looking man, he sure is sweet with you. Maybe you had him all wrong. He thinks of you as an angel and you instantly assumed he was a devil. But maybe, just maybe, he’s an angel like you.

He opens the door and welcomes you in. His apartment is beautiful and sophisticated. It’s large, you aren’t sure why you were expecting a poxy or dingy little place. It’s really beautiful. But you can’t help notice it doesn’t look quite lived in. It looks more like a showroom than a home. But you don’t have time to study the rooms and the blueprints of your soon to be lovers home. He tugs your arm gently, a delicate instruction for you to follow him into the bedroom. And you do.

He sits on the bed. You’re pulled lightly towards him again and you find yourself sitting on his lap. Sitting on his lap like a good, sweet girl. Like a girl who hasn’t gone home with a stranger to fuck on the first date. It’s not even a date, actually. It’s anonymous sex. He cups your jaw with one of his big strong hands and kisses you lovingly. You were waiting for him to slip you some tongue, and he does. You weren’t waiting eagerly for it. You just had a feeling it would happen sooner rather than later. You reciprocate. It feels weird. It makes your stomach churn. You can’t be shy, can you? You wanted this, so there is no way you’re suddenly a shy little schoolgirl tee-heeing about her first kiss. No. This definitely isn’t your first kiss.

He picks you up with ease, placing you down onto the bed like you’ll shatter if he isn’t careful. He’s above you now. Kissing your lips so tenderly. You feel stupid for thinking that this feels like love. This doesn’t feel like anonymous sex. This doesn’t feel like a random bar hook up. But it is, isn’t it? You’re not funny, you are crazy. You aren’t in love. He doesn’t even know your fucking name.

His hand finds purchase on your breast. Your heart stops and starts when you feel it. It’s through your shirt, but you didn’t wear a bra. You’re glad he’s being soft, being slow. Because now that he’s touching you so intimately, you fear that you will shatter like glass. Careful fingers find their way to your nipple. And you moan. You felt the touch go straight to your core and you can’t stifle the delectable moan that escape your body. Toji consumes it. You moan into his mouth and he devours it like it’ll satiate his hunger for days. He needs more. You need to do that for him again. He’s still gentle, still mindful of how he touches you. But he’s gained a little speed with his movements. He cautiously hooks a hand underneath the bend of your knee and spreads you open for him. The meticulous hand that hand been on your breast travels to your aching cunt. You’re wet for him. So very wet that it seeps through your panties. You could feel it before he even touched you. When he feels it, boy when he feels it, it’s paradise to him. And now it’s your turn to feast on his moans. It’s deep and earthy and the sound goes straight to your heat, more of your slick gushes out of you. He hooks a finger on your panties and discretely moves them aside to rest in the crevice between your thigh and groin. One finger finds your clit and you’re practically screaming.

And that was it.

“Stop!” you pull your lips away from his and wriggle out from beneath him. You reposition your panties and sprint towards the exit with a lump in your throat and fear in your chest.

“Don’t run away, hey!” he calls to you and you stop in your tracks. You can’t face him, what is wrong with you? “Is somethin’ the matter? Is it me?” he asks.

“No,” you face him. A singular tear leaks from your left eye and you wipe it away hastily to protect your dignity, “something inside me is telling me we shouldn’t do this. It’s wrong.” you admit, clutching your throat as you felt your mouth go dry.

“Well, I don’t think you’re meant to feel good about one night stands babe.” he jokes but you shrug him off.

“No, you don’t get it. I—” you pause. A realisation hits you. It’s not a memory as such, just a feeling. A gut punching feeling that for some reason you deem necessary to share with him. “I’ve never done this before…” you shyly confess. He chokes out a laugh and rolls his eyes a bit. Is he mocking you?

“I don’t do this all of the time you know sweetheart, y’think I’m picking up women in bars every night?” he queries and you shake your head at him aggressively.

“Toji. I don’t mean a one night stand,” you pause. Shaky breath betraying you. You’re ashamed. You’re ashamed of what you’re about to say. Should you be? Are you meant to be embarrassed? “I haven’t had sex before.” you tell him immediately. If you stammer and stutter around the subject you’ll lose your nerve. You’re humiliated. Is it that bad to have never had sex before? He’s clearly downplaying his conquests, it’s making you feel worse. He fucks, and he fucks a lot. And you’re just a pathetic little virgin who is in over her head. At least you think you are. It feels like you are. When the realisation hit you it felt right, it felt absolutely right. You’re a virgin.

“You’re… joking?” he questions.

“Don’t make fun of me, I’m embarrassed enough Toji.”

He leaps up from the bed and cages your body against his bedroom door. Those eyes. Christ those beautiful green eyes are so enthralling but so lecherous. He’s scary. He really is scary.

“I don’t care about that. It’s late. Stay, we don’t have to fuck.” he tells you. It’s earnest. He really means it, you can tell by the mellow tone in his voice. So you nod. You want to go straight to bed and fall asleep in his arms; but he stops you with a firm grip on your upper arm. He grabs you an old t-shirt and some grey joggers out of a draw and gives them to you. He grabs something similar for himself.

“Turn around.” you tell him. He does. You’re both standing with your backs to each other as you change. In your panic to be dressed, you finish before him. You only realise this when you turn around and see the delay of him pulling up his joggers; the waist band momentarily halting beneath the curve of his ass before he pulls them up fully with force. He smirks when he turns to face you and realises you were staring. Your face flushes hot when you can’t help but notice his dick print in the grey material.

He said nothing has to happen, so this is fine.

You climb into bed, his cock is soft but you can still feel that it’s an impressive size. It rests snuggly between your ass cheeks as he holds you securely in his arms close to his body. His fingers are playing with your hair and his lips are repeatedly pressing against the exposed skin between your neck and shoulder. It feels like love. Why does it feel like such a familiar love? You sleep instantly.

You sleep through to the next morning. It’s freezing cold and Toji has since rolled away from your body so you don’t have his body heat for warmth. It’s winter, it’s snowing. Have you seen snow before? Have you seen the daylight before? It feels new, it feels foreign. You lay your head on Toji’s chest and wrap an arm around his torso, your legs intertwining with his. He hums happily. The man is barely awake but still he finds the energy to wrap an arm around your shoulder and gently trace his fingers on your skin. But his eyes dart open and he startles. Doesn’t he remember you stayed the night? He falls out of bed and backs away in terror.

“What’s wrong with you?” you ask. You’re sitting upright as you focus on him, the genuine fear and terror on his face. What could have gotten over him?

You aren’t sure, you really aren’t sure but you definitely see him mutter. He’s muttering to himself but it’s too quiet and incoherent for you to make out. You tried to read his lips. And this is what you aren’t sure about, because what the fuck could he be talking about? It can’t be real, but you think you saw him say the words ‘You’re usually gone by now’ as he babbles some other nonsense and unintelligible speech.

“Have we met before Toji?” you question. And he looks at you. Sparkling, glossy green jewels vibrating in his eye sockets as he studies you, your form, your being. It’s like you aren’t real. Should you be gone? Should you even exist?

He rises to his feet and sits on the edge of the bed, his body is facing you and he takes your hands in his. He isn’t scared of you anymore. He’s really searching for something in you. He licks his lips. He breathes shallowly a few times before his eyes start to trade between your face and your tiny hands in his. Have your hands always been so dainty? Have his always been so large and callused? His body leans to you a little; and yours copies mindlessly. Listen to him, he wants you to listen to him.

“I want you to move in with me.” he speaks plainly.

The words feel like he’s forced a funnel into your mouth and is pouring sand down your throat; even throwing in water for good measure so it hardens and sinks your stomach into your lower abdomen. Move in with him? You just met him last night. Didn’t you? He didn’t answer your question. Have you met before? Something tells you it wouldn’t be worth asking him again. Because despite everything so utterly preposterous that has happened since your meeting last night. Despite how fucking mental you feel, the lack of memory or human emotion you feel. Despite the fact he doesn’t even know your name. When he asked it felt right. Moving in with Toji Zen’in feels absolutely right. It’s the only thing that has felt right since you woke up yesterday.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’ll move in with you.”

There is little to no objection from your mother. Toji drove you home with some difficulty. You couldn’t remember your address, and he searched your purse for some form of identification. Nothing. You resorted to asking your friends. They teased for a little before they realised you were serious, and with that, you were away.

When you entered your home, your bedroom, you looked around and realised you didn’t care about anything in the room. You went downstairs to tell Toji so, but he laughed plainly. He told you that you don’t have to bring furniture but at least pack some clothes. You can’t wear his oversized attire forever. You nod and head back to your room. You find a simple black suitcase in the back of your wardrobe, it should do nicely to fit your needs.

Toji grins and ruffles your hair like a child when you get back in the car with your belongings. You pout a little, but he guides your face by your chin so that he can press his lips against yours. Those beautifully familiar lips that you just cannot seem to place. He assures you that you’ll want for nothing. He won’t get you certain things that you want on a plate. He’ll give you everything you want and more on a candlelit and floral decorated table served on a silver platter.

“I love you my little angel.” he tells you.

“You do? So soon?”

“I do.”

“Have we met before, Toji?”

Silence fills his car as he starts to drive away. He wants to get home. He wants to get you home. You huff, no answer again. Will you ever know? You’re starting to believe the answer is no. Is it some sort of big secret? Is it odd that you aren’t pressing for more information? Have you met Toji before?

“Have we, Toji? Have we met before?”

He smirks. That age old scar that is too exquisite to be considered a flaw pulls so charmingly every time his lips curve. It’s delicious. He is delicious.

“Maybe in another life, pretty girl.”

Month’s have passed. The cold winter has made way for the blazing summer sun. Is this the hottest summer you’ve ever lived through? Have you seen a summer before this?

He really meant it when he said you’d want for nothing. He returns home each day to find you, his perfect sweetheart. You don’t work. You don’t have to, and he wouldn’t let you. Toji’s heart softens when he discovers what hobby you’ve decided to tackle each day. Crocheting, knitting, painting. He can’t deny that his favourite is baking. You’re so good at it, have you done it before? He sits at the breakfast bar and steals a cookie from the plate you’ve piled them on. He just got home from work. Didn’t he? He doesn’t look dressed for work. He looks casual, very relaxed and effortless. You don’t remember what his job is. Does he even have a job? You’re disrupted from your thoughts when he presses a kiss to your lips. He tastes like chocolate and sugar. Sickly sweet but you’ll carry on devouring until you feel sick. Did you want more?

He hadn’t pressured you in all of these months to sleep with him, and you were grateful. Was virginity such a big deal? It felt like a big deal, for some reason. It felt like every nerve ending within you was telling you to remain pure, strap on a chastity belt if you had to. But was that what you wanted? Is that what you really wanted?

When night rolled around, you slept with Toji in the same way you had that very first night you met. His arms wrapped around you as he pulled your body closer to his. He was shirtless and you wore considerably less clothes too. The heat was brutal. Your skin as well as his was coated in a layer of sticky humid sweat. If he pulled you any tighter to him you fear you’ll become a singular being.

“It’s fucking boiling in here.” he huffs before sitting upright. He’s searching the drawer in his bedside cabinet for something. Relief washes over you when you feel him turn on the fan in the bedroom. The windows are already wide open, but they’re doing nothing to help. The rotating air is cooling you down nicely, and Toji forces your body back against his once again.

He kisses your neck, and it’s wet. It’s sloppy and romantic but it doesn’t last long. It upsets you. You do want more. More of him. You begin to wriggle your hips against him. You little minx. He purrs in your ear, it’s all it takes for his cock to begin to stiffen. His hips begin to roll and you finally begin to understand his true size. Even through the confines of clothes, you sense a monster betwixt his thighs. A roaming hand finds your soft breast; supple flesh imploring his hands to be the tools to knead them.

“Do you want me, darlin’?” he questions. He can feel your head nodding even without the spilling of begs and pleads from your plump lips. It would be a scandal to try and deny you’re desperate when your hips were bucking against him like that. He didn’t know you could do this. You didn’t know you could do that.

He strips you slowly, he’s waited patiently for this. For you. He doesn’t need light to see your beautiful body. The room is blue. The mournful tone that had once made the room seem such a desolate, sorrowful resting place had transformed. Your presence had constructed his very own Garden of Eden. The moonlight and stars bled through the windows giving their precious nutrients to you. Are you glittering? Can Toji see your body sparkling? Yes. He can. You really are an angel aren’t you? He’s looking at you now, so precious and perfect he thinks you deserve a halo. He’s looking at you now and he thinks blue just might be his favourite colour.

His head is between your legs. He’s slow and careful. Do you like it? You do. His tongue feels precise and you’re shuddering from the feeling of it all. You want to hold hands. You so desperately want to hold hands but you can’t. His muscular arms are wrapped around your legs. Two layers to a technique; he’s holding you in place and simultaneously bringing your innocent cunt closer to his face. More. He wants more. Your fingers are through his hair. Are you trying to pull him closer to you? You want more. You moan, such pretty pretty moans for him. He is thankful to the generous moonlight for highlighting your knotting face. He feels good, doesn’t he?

“I know you.” you tell him, nothing more than a soft broken whine.

“You know me.”

You tell him you want to stop. Not completely, just stop this. Your core is throbbing, it’s signalling for it’s master. It’s owner. It’s him, isn’t it? Your virgin cunt is pulsing with desire to be filled by him. He’ll fill you, won’t he?

He does. You remain on your back while he crawls above you and cages you in. He lines himself up and your body becomes tense. No. He speaks softly as he kisses your neck. You need to be relaxed for this. You need not be tense when he’s going to make you feel so good. He’s waited for this, you both have. Now you must relax your body and make it easy for him to enter. It might hurt for a little while, but then it will feel good.

He isn’t wrong, the stretch is painful, and it doesn’t subside. It doesn’t feel normal. Is it normal for a penis to be so large? What would you know? You’ve never seen one. You’ve never felt one. You’ve never done this. You think. You’re sure of it… aren’t you? Each plunge, each inch fills your cute virgin slot with ease. A good girl, you are such a sweetheart – he tells you. So wet and ready to be fucked how you deserve by him. You waited so long because you’re so sweet and innocent. He waited so long because he’s so patient and understanding. You both have earned this. You both deserve this. He starts slow, good, you think. Your chest is heaving already. Your beautiful breasts shaking with each trembling inhale. They look so cute when your nipples are hard. He latches onto one and he worships it. That glorious tongue of his licking and laving over the bud. His perfect lips sucking and releasing with a sensual pop. He’s fully sheathed inside of you. He isn’t thrusting, just grinding. The ridges of his pelvis stimulating your clit. You’re crying, involuntarily of course.

“Does it hurt?” he whispers, his hot breath slightly drying the wet patch on your breast.

“No,” you tell him. It’s all so beautiful and right. You’re meant to be doing this. You’re supposed to be doing this with him, right here and now. He kisses your tears and wipes them away. 

He didn’t know angels could cry.

His cock begins to move inside of you. You didn’t know you could feel any better than you already did. He did, though. He’s done this before, hasn’t he? How many women? How many virgins?

“I know you.” your voice a small whisper. But he hears clear enough.

“You know me.”

He holds you close as he rolls you both over. His clumsy drooling lips worshipping your neck, shoulders and collarbone. He wants you to go on top. Why? You don’t know what you’re doing and it probably won’t feel good for either of you. He whispers in your ear. It’s a dangerous toxin that oozes through your ears. But how can it be so deadly when his voice is so syrupy sweet? It goes straight to your cunt and his fingers find your clit and discover that he’s made you even wetter. ‘You may be surprised’ is what he told you. It’s worth a try.

His hips are guiding you. He’s encouraging you to do what feels right but you’re so embarrassed. You’re ethereal to him. He wants to worship you for the rest of his life. Why did either of you wait so long to experience this simple yet heavenly bliss?

“I’m not on birth control.” you tell him. Your brows scrunch a second later. Is that true? Why do you know that?

“Don’t need it, you won’t get pregnant.” he responds, his hips jumping and meeting up with yours.

You take his word as gospel and carry on riding him. You are surprised, honestly, that he was right. It feels good and you think you’re doing a good job. His head tilts back and his eyes follow every now and then. He’s biting his lip. Sharp teeth drawing blood that he wipes with his thumb. The digit finds its way to your mouth and you suck greedily.

“Perfect.” he speaks.

“’m close.” you tell him. Your words aren’t your own. Close to what? What are you talking about? He chuckles, his hips slamming into yours even harder.

“You’re in trouble.” he said, it’s oh so nonchalant.

Your mind stops working. He’s staring at you with a hunger in his eyes. Is this taking a different direction? It was sensual and loving, is this about to become raunchy… kinky, even?

“I know you.” you hum, you do. You really do.

“You only had one more chance, I heard. You’re in trouble this time.” he continues. One more chance. You know those words, where have you heard them before?

“Toji… I know you.” you tell him a little louder.

“Years. I’ve waited years.” he moves your body up and down his length faster and harder. He’s done this before. He’s done this a million times before. He’s so familiar. He’s so familiar and he’s done this before. But not with you, never with you. “My eternity. My girl. Finally mine, they won’t give you another chance after this. You’re all mine.”

You’re crying now. Really crying. He doesn’t make any sense.

“Yours?”

“Mine.”

“I know you.”

“Mine.”

Yours legs are cramping. Your core fluttering.

“Eternity?”

“Yes. They won’t forgive you.”

“Who?”

“All mine.”

Your cunt tightening around him is the most unusual thing you’ve ever felt. You’re moaning so loudly and you feel like your heart will explode. The clench causes Toji to spill himself inside of you. You’re scared. You’re so scared of what just happened, you’re scared of him. What is wrong with him? Who have you been living with for all of these months?

You’re upright with your eyes closed. His are closed too. Both of your bodies are once again glazed with sweat, and the new addition of sin. Your greed and lust is glistening on your bodies.

The moonlight is gone, as are the stars. No more windows. The four walls and furniture have gone. The bed remains. Toji remains. Even through your closed eyes your retinas have burst again. It’s a sick sense of déjà vu. One more chance. The bright white light. The dream. Is this a dream too? Your eyes open and Toji is shaking his head beneath you. Not a dream. This is not a dream.

You fold your body so your head is lying on his chest. He’s playing with your hair, the delicate attentive man you do know. The one you do recognise. The one you knew prior to this little dalliance. But you know this Toji too. You’re an angel, and he’s you’re devil. He’s a devil, and you’re his angel.

“I know you.”

“You know me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

You don’t remember how you got to another new place. Did your vision blacken again? Your arms are folded onto a table with your head rested on them. Your vision comes to focus. A shack. An irredeemable, shoddy shack. It’s tiny and bland. A wire framed bed and a springy mattress, a miniscule kitchen and small living area all crammed into one room. You stand up when you see a door. It opens to a small toilet. It’s disgusting. A pull chain and flies buzzing around the hole. You slam the door instantly and back away. With your new standing height you see a window. Lush green grass and a shimmering lake are outside. You run to the door, you can’t get outside soon enough. The sunshine beams down on you gifting your skin a pleasant warmth.

And you see him.

He’s sitting comfortably as he faces the invitingly cool lake. Toji is here with you. And he’s completely naked. And when you look down at yourself, that’s when you realise you are naked too. He turns around when he senses your presence. That smile, that fucking smile that can turn you to a subservient toy in an instant.

“I know you.” he bellows from the distance.

“You know me.” you call back.

He gets up to approach you. You walk towards him as well. When he gets closer you notice two black marks on his forehead. Did something happen to him? Was he in an accident? Upon closer inspection, you realise that they look like horns. They are horns. You poke and prod, he doesn’t mind. They’re hard. Really hard like bone. You tap the tips and they’re sharp enough to draw blood. He sucks your fingers clean of the red dots, copper tainting his mouth.

“What’re these?” you ask.

“Horns.” he tells you plainly.

“Have you always had them?” you wonder.

“Yes. Not that you could see recently.” he explains. “There’s something you should see, too.” he alerts you. He takes your hand and leads you towards the lake. You’re not foolish enough to assume he’s taking you for a swim. Your toes are hanging over the edge of the land and daring to cross to the water. But they don’t. His hand is welded to yours as he tells you to lean over. You gasp when you see what he wanted you to see. A halo. A gorgeous, bright, brilliant halo. It’s almost hurting your eyes to look at it even in the reflection. But there’s something wrong. It doesn’t look whole. There are parts missing and it’s cracked in places. It doesn’t look right.

“Is it broken?” you wonder as your big trusting eyes and fluttering lashes look to your only guide in this world.

“Yes baby, you’ve fallen.” he expresses.

“I want to understand. Please.” it’s a simple request. You have no need to beg because he’s happy to tell you. He pulls you back away from the lake ever so slightly. Your head resting against his chest, that oh so familiar chest that really does feel like home. He forces your hand onto his shoulder and he places one of his on your hip. Your remaining hands are holding each other. Your tiny hand in his. He wants to dance with you. Your feet are moving slowly, dancing like a couple at a wedding. Is it your first dance? Yes, you think it is.

His words, are devasting.

You were an angel. An honest to goodness angel from heaven above. He was too, and you were so very in love. You were in love for as long as you had existed. Truly destined to be together for the rest of time. But it wasn’t enough for Toji Zen’in. Being in love was not enough for him. Stolen glances and chaste kisses weren’t enough for him. He wanted more. He demanded more, though he knew it was forbidden. If you took things further, you wouldn’t get away with it. Eyes were everywhere and all knowing. You didn’t want more. You were happy with what you had. It infuriated him, why didn’t you want more? Why wouldn’t you give him more? There was only one thing for it. He’d force himself on you. You struggled, begged and pleaded. But he didn’t listen. He couldn’t, he wouldn’t. He had to have you and you would understand when you experienced the pleasure of sex. But it wasn’t meant to be. Toji Zen’in was caught and exiled. His lust too much for him to bare, a burden he couldn’t carry with him in heaven. A devil suited him better. The lust he felt was repeatedly soothed by woman after woman.

But what was your fate? You couldn’t handle your love being stolen from you. Didn’t you understand what he tried to do to you? If he had penetrated, you would have been exiled right with him. You screamed, and screamed, and screamed. It was a wonder your lungs didn’t break and your throat didn’t close. It was like razors dragging up and down your oesophagus. The other angels couldn’t take it. What did they expect? Your love, your absolute love had been taken from you.

A test. They thought. They will test your resolve and see if you were worthy of staying with them or if they needed to exile you too. They thought that if you could see the truth for yourself about him you would come to your senses. It was a test that repeated for, well, eternity. They gave you chance, after chance, after chance. Each time you ended up in his bed, in his arms. So they’d bring you right back and try again.

‘You’re usually gone by now’

To have each other for a moment and have it ripped away from you so cruelly was Toji’s own personal hell. It was worse that you couldn’t remember. Every single time he’d see you you’d have the same conversations, the same incidents and the same moments. Why couldn’t you see? Why couldn’t you see that you were his? It was your last chance. Your last chance to see for yourself that he was a devil who would do nothing but corrupt and ruin you. But you didn’t, did you? You didn’t know him. But you knew him. Spending time with him like you had in heaven, and it felt right. There would be no going back for you if you let him enter your virgin walls. And you did. You let him taint you. Because you couldn’t resist. He learnt his lesson about patience. He was happy to wait as long as you were by his side. His venomous tongue and tactful manipulation was much better suited to a devil than an angel.

His chest was soaked as you cried endlessly into him. You remember. You remember everything. Is this what you want? Permanently exiled from heaven to be with your love and no one else for the rest of time? It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late. A choice has been made and you have no one to blame but yourself. You’re still dancing slowly, romantically. It’s scorching hot. What else did you expect from hell? You and him, here, forever. He’s going to make you dance and dance with him. You’ll be dancing until your feet bleed and your bones shatter. Until the sun melts the skin off those very same bones. You don’t look at him. You’re still processing all of the information and you quite honestly feel sick.

Is it worth it?

Fuck.

Is this all worth it? Worth him?

When you recall your screams. When you recall the pain you felt without him. The anguish that never ended and the trouble you caused the other angels you think and you think hard. Yes. Yes, you think it is worth it.

“I know you.”

“Yes baby, you know me.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, you’re mine.”

© 2021 fuwushiguro

adding tags in a reblog <3 also tag list in my navi if u wanna join!! mwah mwah

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 okay i couldn't help it.

Warnings: mentions of r*pe, bad parenting, toxicity.

I'd also like to put a disclaimer, clearly the time in this isn't Canon, so don't come for me.

This is and Alastor x OC fanfic.

"Are you sure about this, darling?" Alastor asked Aponi as she put down the telephone after calling two people.

"Yep. I've forgiven them and I want them to know it. I wanna be the bigger person," Aponi replied.

"If they try anything, they die," Vaggie muttered.

"They won't. Not with you guys here," Aponi replied.

"They'd better hope they dont," Angel Dust replied.

"Guys calm down. If Aponi trusts it, then it's her choice," Charlie interrupted.

"Exactly. Plus who's gonna hurt me with the protection of the radio demon, and daughter of hell on my side? I'm gonna be fine," Aponi stated.

There was a knock on the door.

"They're here," Husk stated as he took a drink of beer.

"Thanks captain obvious," Angel taunted.

Charlie opened the door, and in walked Aponi's Mother. As well as Aponi's ex.

"Jason. Mother. Thanks for coming. You guys can have a seat," Aponi stated as she gestured to the hotel couch.

"Ya know. From the call I thought maybe you wanted me back," Jason stated with a smirk as he sat down.

Alastor smiled widely as his expression got dark.

Jason must've noticed because his expression shown fear and he sat up straighter, as if on edge.

"I thought you called because you needed money. Or some decent clothes that aren't from a brothel," her mother started.

"Hey! Those are made of strong materials!" Angel Dust defended. "And they were gifts!" He finished.

"I called you two here because I want you to know that I forgive you," Aponi stated.

Absolute silence.

"Forgive me? For what, Lilly? Giving you a good life only for you to destroy it by running off with... a pig," her mother taunted, looking at Jason with the last word.

"You've always been such a bitch, Deborah," Jason snorted.

"Says the lowlife who raped my daughter," Aponi's mother replied.

"Oh my fucking God it was one time!" Jason yelled.

"She killed herself over it!" Vaggie shouted right back.

And that's when the whole room filled with arguing.

Aponi walked over to Alastor and sighed.

"I should've made them leave the room, huh?" Aponi asked.

"On the contrary, darling. I quite like this chaos," Alastor smirked.

He turned to see Aponi looking at him sternly.

"Yes, my dear," he muttered before sending of a high screeching noise, courtesy of his microphone.

The arguing stopped as everyone turned to Aponi and Alastor.

"As a matter of fact mother, I forgive you for manipulating me. For kicking me out when I told you Jason and I were leaving when school ended. For not talking to me, For not loving me the way you should've. I forgive you. I dont know why you did what you did, but I cant change the past and honestly I'm tired of holding onto the anger," Aponi explained.

Her mother looked down and nodded.

"I.... thank you, Lilly," She murmured before sitting down.

"And.. Jason.... what you did.... it was the hardest thing to get over. And it took 70 years for me to get over it, but I finally did. There's no excuse for what happened. But I love myself enough now to know that I don't wanna give that moment power over my life AND death. I forgive you," Aponi stated.

"Lilly.... despite my time in hell... when I found you when you died? I.... I'm sorry..... after that I tried so hard to be sober.... but I died before it could happen. I am sorry," Jason apologized.

Aponi let out a Breath and smiled, tears in her eyes.

The room lit up with white light.

"What's happening?" Vaggie asked as she looked up to the roof to see what looked like a portal to heaven.

Aponi looked around, everyone's eyes were on her.

"What?" She asked before looking at herself. She gasped. She was covered in a white glow.

"I was right," Charlie muttered as a smile grew on her face.

Alastor's eyes widened as he looked at Aponi.

She started walking toward the portal before she was stopped by a hand.

"Lilly, darling,... Don't forget me," Alastor stated as he looked at her, a small smile on his face threatening to break, his eyes filling with tears, a rare sight that only Aponi had ever seen.

"Forget you? Alastor, my love.. I'd have to die a billion times over before I'd even start to do that," Aponi replied with a smile.

Alastor pulled her in and kissed her.

Everyone in the room stared wide eyed.

He had never done that in public. And yet here he was, the radio demon himself, kissing the love of his death in front of the whole room of other demons.

The glow on Aponi grew brighter until it dissapeared, taking her with it.

When everyone's eyes adjusted to the darkness again, there was Alastor sitting on the floor numbly.

"I was right," Charlie muttered before laughing. "I WAS RIGHT!" She yelled before going over to the phone to call her dad.

"She's.... just gone?" Angel Dust asked.

Alastor stood up, his smile still on his face, as wide as ever.

"Yes I believe she is! I will be retiring to my room for a while, my friends," He stated joyfully before quickly shuffling out of the room.

"He's hurtin' isn't he?" Angel asked.

"More than he ever has before," Husk replied.

"She... what just happened?" Aponi's mother asked.

"Her last step must've been forgiveness," Vaggie replied. "Shes tried for 70 years to redeem herself, and the second she let go of all the hate she had for you two....." Vaggie trailed off with a smile.

"Shes in heaven?" Jason asked.

"Yep," Angel replied.

Meanwhile alastor walked into Aponi's room, still smiling. He started to pack up and clean out her items.

He stopped when he looked into her closet and saw a wrapped box with a tag on it labeled with his name.

Happy birthday Al

-Love, your Lilly

It read.

Alastor opened it carefully to see a radio with butterfly wings on it.

Aponi's eyes opened as she adjusted to her surroundings.

It was very different from hell.

"Lilly?" A man's voice asked from behind her.

She turned around.

"Dad?" She asked. "Dad!" She exclaimed before running over to hug him, tears in her eyes.

"70 years and I'm finally here," Aponi stated.

"70? It's only been 6 minutes since I died," Her father spoke.

"What? But.. Thats.... does that mean you died a year after I left?" Aponi asked.

"I did, yes," he replied.

"How many minutes has it been?" She asked again.

"Only one," he stated.

And at that moment nifty appeared.

"Nifty?" Aponi asked.

"Oh my goodness! Aponi!" Nifty smiled.

"Aponi?" Anither voice asked. Vaggie.

"Vaggie!" Aponi exclaimed, a smile on her face.

"That was the weirdest feeling I've ever felt in my life," Vaggie stated as she looked around.

A loud thud came from beside them.

"Angel?" Aponi asked.

"Oh my God. I-.... that's the most unexpected...." Angel trailed off before seeing his friends.

"Time is relatively here. 1 minute here is 10 years in hell and on earth," Aponi explained quickly.

The group stayed in silence.

"So now what? Like..... what do we do?" Angel asked.

"We wait?" Aponi suggested.

"Lilly?" A voice came.

"Mother?" Aponi asked as she saw the image of her mother.

"Deborah?" Aponi's father stated.

The family hugged for a good 2 minutes, awkward stares from Aponi's friends.

"What the hell?" Came the voice of husk from behind all of them.

"We're all here!" Nifty exclaimed.

"Not all of us," Vaggie muttered. Aponi sighed.

"So this is heaven? Not bad," Husk stated as he nodded his head.

"Obviously there's more but I think we should wait a bit longer," Angel stated.

"You guys can go ahead," Aponi stated. "I'll wait here,"

"You sure?" Vaggie asked.

Aponi nodded and her friends and family all walked away to go look around.

An hour passed.

Aponi had sat down and waited in silence.

"Hellow darling," A familliar voice spoke from in front of her.

She stood up quickly and stared at the man in front of her. She smiled.

"Hello, Alastor," she stated.

[idontbelieveyou-butthenagain-idc]

Well the p*do thing was retconned a few decades back, if you're genuinely interested knowing more about it here's discussion on that topic:

To sum up the above post, across all dc media and comic runs in Slade's 60+ existence as a character there's only ever been 1 single comic run that accidentally depicted him as a p*do during an attempt to make a teenage girl "evil" (misogyny strikes again). Fictional characters don't have agency since they don't exist. Did Slade sleep with Tara because hes a p*do or because the person writing him is showing their own values? If you read the writers comments on that storyline Perez didn't think it made Slade bad, Perez said the reason was to make Tara evil, it was a way to demonise her for being a "slut".

There's countless instances of this type of thing happening in comics, where character assassination happens because writers use them as a vessel for their own beliefs and values. Another example is Hal Jordan, he's also branded as being a p*do because a writer decided having having him be attracted to under aged girl called Arisia. DC didn't believe it was a problem. Or when Devin Grayson made vigilante Tarantula a r*pist by forcing herself on Nightwing, when confronted by this the writer denied it was r*pe by saying it wasn't forced sex it was just "non consental sex"??? These decisions aren't because it fits the character morals, it's because the writers who are using them believe what they're writing isn't actually morally bad.

I'm not a Slade expert so I've never read any comic where he was next in line for the LoA (I thought that was Batman??) Neither have I read any comic where he is anything but white...so I can't comment on that either. All I know his daughter Rose is half Cambodian. Rose and Joseph's stories are enjoyed by a lot of other people so?? And Joseph definitely has more then one storyline?!? Not liking the Wilsons is one thing but saying opinions as fact when you clearly haven't read much if any source material is unwarranted.

Just know Deathstroke hasnt been a p*do since the 90's so dont worry about it and some people enjoy villains its not that deep.

I'll leave these:

So let me get this correct. Slade Wilson, alias Deathstroke, is a confirmed pedophile in DC comics, was a fully white character until he got mixed in with the League of Assassins which was an Asian owned group, but for some reason he was next in line over Talia (ignoring her other siblings) became a white savior and they realized that wasn’t a good look so they basically 1/16th Cherokeed him into some Asian descent (I’m saying that cause we’ve seen DC treat Asian characters like that until recently), so that it was okay for him to take over Ra’s’s operations (again why? He has children, he has grandchildren, Slade had no reason to be there), wins almost all of his fights, stole others’ chances to star in a comic with Yogi the Bear (an icon), again is a pedophile and even in the cartoon show predator. Why do people like him? There’s nothing redeeming about him. Are you going to say thanks to him we got The Judas Contract, Jericho and Rose? Rose’s stories with her father are just annoying. Jericho’s connection is literally there for one storyline and then it just doesn’t matter and even then it really didn’t. And the only Judas Contract I’ve liked was from the cartoon. There are plenty of characters I’m not a fan of but can understand why others would like them. Slade will never be one.