#incorrect titans

[mylifeingotham]

[batcavescolony]

*hanging out at Titans Tower*

Dick: do you know what I hate? People acting as if JASON was an angry Robin-

Jason: can you not?

Dick: shut up! I'd say I was angry as Robin, Damian for a bit, Tim a little bit but JASON! JASON?

Jason: I have a rep-

Dick: HE WAS ADORABLE! He said 'Robin gives me magic', he had his little front curls, he used to wrap himself up in his cape so he was just a yellow triangle with legs, he looked like a little duckling!

Jason: *launching himself at Dick* SHUT UP!!!!

Dick: *prying Jason's hands away from his face* HE-

Jason: IGNORE HIM! He's a liar.

Donna: Jason you worked with us as Robin to fight Brother Blood. We know how you were and you were adorable.

[incorrectbatfam]

Roy: I'm kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is because you’re not going to like it.

Dick: Just rip the bandage off.

Roy: It’s Jason.

Dick: Put the bandage back on.

[incorrectbatfamandfriends]

Jason: I feel awful about killing you.

Tim:

Jason: Even though you technically never died, so I don’t know what you’re bitching about.

[enigma-the-mysterious]

If someone told me that a submersible named the Titan, owned by a company called OceanGATE, carrying three billionaires, had gone missing on an expedition to the Titanic, I would think it was some pitch for a new thriller mystery novel and not something that had actually happened due to the hubris and stupidity of rich people.

[percabethownsmybutt]

annabeth: you really put aside everything and came all this way to save me? how did you even get here?

percy: several traffic violations

thalia: three counts of resisting arrest

grover: roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks

percy: also, that's not our car

[onnahu]

Bats on the road

Clark: Bruce that's illegal!

Bruce: there's no one else on the road, what do you want?

Hal: how is it that he doesn't have powers and yet drive like a suicidal maniac!

Oliver: Well bold of you to assume he's not a suicidal maniac.

Diana: that was reassuring.

Donna: oh for the love of gods, Grayson, stop that!

Dick *sprawled over 3 different titans eating the batburger and making a mess*: stop what?

Titans: Ughhhh...

Dinah: i'm gonna puke. If you don't stop this,i'm gonna puke right on your lap and i won't even apologise because it'll be your fault.

Barbara:

Barbara: you know what? Fuck you too. And i can puke on call, so don't think i won't get back.

Barbara: *speeds up on a switchback*

Jason: you stupid bitch, don't you see we have right of way?!?!

---

Jason: we're on a fucking highway! Stop driving like you're next to a kindergarden, you fucker!

---

Jason: what a dick! We should just hit him. This baby can take that!

Artemis: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Roy: i hate to do that, but I agree with her

Tim: oh my god it's a... (insert a rant about a very specific model of a car that Tim dreamed of having as a 13 years old)

Bart: ...what?

Cassie: yeah, i have no idea what's going on too, buddy...

[violent138]

Dick: "Happy birthday dude!"

Roy: "Wow I can't believe you remembered, I don't even remember telling--" *remembers the top secret files Dick keeps on them all* "--oh right. Thanks."

[leviismybby]

Levi: "Why is everyone else traveling in carriages, but me and (y/n) have to travel with our fucking horses?"

Erwin: "Do you really want the truth?

(y/n): "......yes?"

Erwin: "Because I am sick and tired of drivers complaining about you two having sex."

(y/n): "Oh come on! We aren't that loud!"

Levi: "I am not, you sure are."

[samthechaotic]

Tim: Whenever I face a horrible situation, I ask myself "what would Jason do?" and do the exact opposite.

Damian: For the first, and probably last, time in your life Drake, you're right.

[celaenaeiln]

Jason: *barging into the cave* What the hell are you doing?! The little brat said Dick’s been kidnapped, so why are you just sitting here?!

Tim: *taking a slow sip of coffee* he hasn’t been kidnapped.

Jason: What do you mean? Where is he then?

Tim: He’s hanging out with the Titans

Jason: *putting down his helmet and grabbing a cookie off Tim’s plate* Then why’d the toddler say he’s been kidnapped.

Tim: *glaring at him for stealing his precious cookie* He learned that if Dick couldn’t spend time with him he could just say that Dick’s been kidnapped so that the rest of us would crash the place to “rescue” him.

Jason: That’s…that’s actually pretty smart. I wonder where he learned that.

Tim: *side-eyeing a hunched and scowling Bruce over the rim of his coffee mug*

Jason:

[mylifeingotham]

[batcavescolony]

Nightwing: hey Titans, umm id like to introduce you to Robin

Tim Robin: Hi

Titans: uhhh hi

Kory: h-WAIT you're the kid that showed up at my door asking about Nightwing! How did you get my address?

Dick: yeah he does that but it's fine, he's Robin now.

[incorrectbatfam]

Does the Batmobile ever get ticketed or does the GCPD just ignore it

Bruce: *puts a box on the table*

Bruce: Gather around, everyone. It's time for our monthly ticket review.

Bruce: First up, Steph. Can you explain what happened last Friday?

[earlier]

Steph: *looking for parking in a full lot*

Steph: Screw it, I'm going around back.

Steph: *parks in front of a fire exit*

[present]

Steph: I just needed to use the bathroom.

Bruce: And in those three minutes, the Joker released a giant water balloon forcing everyone to evacuate through one less exit.

Steph: It said "fire exit." That technically wasn't a fire.

Bruce: Well, the penalty is $100 plus the towing cost. I can pay it off but you have to help Alfred in the kitchen for a month.

Steph: Yeah, that's fair.

Bruce: Next up... Cass and Barbara? Color me surprised.

Barbara: Oh yeah, I had to remotely pilot the Batmobile the other day because Cass needed a getaway.

Bruce: Then why am I being charged $250?

[earlier]

Cass: *fighting a gang*

Barbara: Orphan, ETA thirty seconds. Prepare for extraction.

Cass: *knocks out the last henchman and runs to the car*

Comm. Gordon: *writing a ticket*

Cass: ?

Comm. Gordon: You're in a disabled parking spot without a permit.

[present]

Barbara: Well I am disabled.

Bruce: Understandable. I'll let it slide since it's the first time. Just file the paperwork for a permit.

Bruce: Dick, you went thirty-five over the speed limit when you weren't pursuing a suspect. Explain.

[earlier]

Wally: Race you to Keystone?

Dick: *revs the engine*

[present]

Bruce: You're better than this. I'm disappointed. Next up: Tim. Driving without a license plate. What happened there?

[earlier]

Tim: I wasn't supposed to take the Batmobile since Bruce benched me for my wrist, but my other ride is in the shop.

Kon: What about cameras? Can't your dad tap into the city's surveillance system?

Bart: Traffic cameras read license plates, so if we take them off, no one will recognize us.

Kon: Now that's an idea.

[present]

Tim: That's on me. I shouldn't have listened to them.

Bruce: Put them back on, plus you're benched for another week. Damian, on to you.

Damian: What on Earth could I have done? I followed the speed limit, parked in the correct spots, and never so much as changed lanes on an empty road without signalling.

[earlier]

Damian, a middle schooler: *driving*

[present]

Damian: Tt.

Bruce: Don't do it again. Duke...

Duke: *cringes and remembers what he did*

[earlier]

Duke: *hooks the Batmobile to a freezer trailer*

Duke: *starts driving around with a megaphone*

Duke: Ice cream! Get your ice cream!

[present]

Bruce: Fantastic job. No complaints.

Jason, muttering: Teacher's pet.

Bruce: And finally, Jason.

Bruce: *empties the rest of the box*

[kimjun]

Yn: I made you a bracelet.

Jason: You know, I'm not really a jewelry person.

Yn: Well, you don't have to wear it.

Jason: No, I'm gonna wear it forever. Back off.

[twilovesshuake]

Y/n, drunk: Levi has such beautiful eyes. I love him.

Levi:

Y/n: Don't tell him I said that, okay?

Levi, smiling fondly: Alright, Y/n, I won't.