#implied. you can read it platonically

[orphiclovers]

Thoughts on yjh and body horror?

Hmm, some. I think Yoo Joonghyuk's whole deal is a lot more often about mental anguish as opposed to physical. Regression resets all his wounds and scars except the mental ones, so those are the ones that take a massive toll on him. 'Hell of Eternity' is hell because he can never escape his own memories. He is weak to mental attacks but his body is usually near indestructible.

Secretive Plotter's damage is the 'curse of immortality' and his only motivation is finding eternal rest, so that's all mental. Even outergodification is a mental process. Losing his appearence as a 'human' was a secondary side effect to losing his identity as 'Yoo Joonghyuk' and just asthetically speaking, turning into a shadow person isn't really 'body horror' to me, which I associate more with viscera and flesh, not cold and clean intangibility.

I'm not just bringing up SP because I have brain worms (also that) but because there is a specific regression that I think does exemplify 'body horror', and that's 999, baby!

Hear me out. I don't say this soley due to 999's lack of limbs, since there's nothing inherently horror about being an amputee (though removing his own eyes is a bit saw trap energy not going to lie) BUT because his was the one regression where his main problem wasn't mental - he had all his companions, was as happy as one could be in an apocalypse - but the fact that his physical body failed him. He didn't die in battle, but instead wasted away due to the 'outer world covenant'.

Kim Dokja might be self-sacrifical but this guy was on another level.

999 didn't hesitate to take hits for his companions, which is how he lost his limbs, and at the same time he borrowed an outer god's powers to win battles (I'm imaganing a chaos version of advent of a half-god) , which probably looked really epic, but unforunatley was at the expence of his soul. The covenant ate away at him piece by piece, and it's said his 'bloodstream went haywire until he couldn't walk or use his skills' (the translation was wonky here but you get it) which I take to mean he had some kind of cell damage, kind of like radiation or chemo.

This was a years long process, from when he first signed the Outer World Covenant up until the 99th scenario, and that whole time he kept borrowing those powers even though he saw it was killing him. What I mean is, it probably didn't look or feel great to see him falling apart, but the level of gore is reader's choice to imagine (anywhere from a tasteful coughing up blood and nosebleeds, to skin peeling off and hair falling out etc.).

Oh and since I know you would enjoy this, I'll say this too.

I don't think Secretive Plotter knew what he would do to 999.

He meant to save 999, not kill him.

This was almost assuredly his first Outer World Convenant, since I figure changing the 999th regression was the first thing he tried to do after he gained the ability to worldline hop/ had the tiniest bit of control over his outer god powers. He was still young and hopeful - 'foolish' as the Secrerive Plotter reminices. But he clearly fucked something up badly, maybe since he didn't have the clear grasp of probability manipulation that he developed in the next thousands of years or tried to directly change too much.

Canon era, he gives both KDJ and HSY a covenant just fine and they don't have any issues from it. (He's very careful to take the probability on himself - remember the finger thing?)

I wonder how horrified young SP was to see 999 destroying himself using SP as the method. Did he try to back out at some point, but couldn't due to the covenant? Did he try to make 999 stop, which he of course refused to do? I think about them a lot.

[cosmic-nia]

You can do the stupid-sauce-Jax receiving caresses like a real bunny??🙏🏻

i accidentally made this bunnydoll related sorry anon😭

[traumawhomst]

Ok so I’ve been absolutely enamored by the idea of the endlessly patient and sweet Yandere.

The kind that, doesn’t care if you scream, even if hours on end. He just waits until you’ve calmed down, and makes sure to give you lots of soup and tea until you get your voice back. You know you can talk to him, right? He hates seeing you in pain but he also knows that this is a good lesson on learning your limits.

Oh you’re crying for your home and life he took you from? He doesn’t understand it fully but concludes that it’s similar to a puppy at a new home. Given enough time you’ll settle right in he’s sure. Patiencely waiting with a water bottle and tissues and cuddles if you want them. (Don’t be silly darling, you can’t leave yet)

Physically fighting back? He’s proud, look how strong you are! (Even though he’s always strong enough to stop and pin you down so you don’t hurt yourself) Look at determination, he can’t wait to see that fight and drive in your life together.

Hell even if you do manage to hurt him in some way, he’s immediately checking to see if you’ve hurt yourself. He’s opening your mouth to make sure you didn’t chip a tooth, or bite your tongue after you bit him, (never mind the blood running down his arm). The same with head-butting or punching or kicking, expect to immediately subdued as he inspects you for possible injuries gently scolding you as if you’ve tripped being careless and not whole try to kill him.

He has time to wait for you darling, and you do too.

[smartzelda]

Sorry guys I gotta speak my truth on this one

I'm not kidding when I say that I think that blaming shit media literacy from fans on shipping/shippers avoids the actual root of the problem to throw people you can easily throw under the bus (simply because it's not unpopular to consider people who post about ships or ship characters in media as having lesser or derivative tastes by default)

And here's why.

I think when you blame people who are "shippers" or "consume media through shipping lenses", the true root of it all is a mindset problem.

In actually, putting on shipping lenses can be helpful when trying to analyze a piece of media. When analyzing media you're supposed to approach it through a number of mindsets and put on different lenses (both to deepen your personal understanding of the media, and to pick it apart and see what you can find there (whether intentional or not on the author's part)), and different ships can be some of those lenses

When it comes to ships between main characters (for those who are genuinely willing to see what the narrative is showing with their relationship and what it's doing), there are times when analyzing it from a shipping lens may be helpful. As someone from KH fandom, I have seen people come to deeper understandings and pick canon apart in the process of analyzing a relationship that is genuinely integral to the story (platonic or not). I've also seen people get into rarepairs of characters who barely interact or who just suffer little screen time, and I've seen them come to better understandings of those side characters and how they potentially fit into the world of the media simply because people are now focusing on these characters and how they fit into the narrative.

Frankly, I resent the idea that the only way to truly objectively analyze a piece of media is by turning off the part of your brain that gets excited over relationships and individual characters. Don't get me wrong, that is a way to approach a piece of media and a valid one at that, but the truth is that we cannot be free of bias.

For instance, I was watching House MD with my parents circa last year. At some point I started heavily tuning into what was going on with House and Wilson's relationship. My parents, on the other hand, were largely watching casually. They're not thinking of character relationships or getting heavily invested in most characters, they're watching because they like watching. One of them in particular did try to analyze things that were happening in the show as they happened. However, when it came to the scene late in the series where House threw out Dominika's letter approving her American citizenship, my parents could understand that he was doing that because he didn't want her to leave, but not much beyond that. I ended up explaining to them that House's fake marriage for Dominika was an explicit parallel to when Wilson was living with House in the early seasons. Both situations started with House being none too happy about it but ultimately letting them stay, spending a considerable amount of effort getting them to leave/getting this situation to be finally over so he didn't have to deal with it anymore, and then by the time a piece of news comes through that would mean the person in question actually leaves, House hides this news as long as he can. Because he doesn't actually want them to leave and has grown attached. And by doing this he became a self fulfilling prophecy. By reacting to the truth of Wilson and Dominika leaving him the way he does, he seals his fate and they ultimately leave anyways. Maybe I ship Hilson, but becoming open to how their relationship was handled allowed me to transition to doing character studies and recognizing patterns/parallels that I wouldn't have noticed if I didn't particularly care about the characters or their relationship.

Likewise, I've seen mutuals complain about how people who don't like or don't care about certain characters often overlook these characters (what they're actually like and their place in the narrative), while the mutuals in question (by default) are able to come to deeper understanding of what the writers/story is trying to do because they care about this funky guy

You can't eradicate bias when you're engaging in media analysis, but you can consciously put on a range of lenses and observe the media through different povs with the goal of understanding the media better or bolstering your reading of it. And those lenses/povs can include focusing on specific relationships or the perpective of certain characters

And this is why I say it's actually a mindset problem. Shippers and people who have this one blorbo they like a lot aren't inherently terrible "fandom brained individuals" who are the root of media analysis problems. The problem only arises when people's readings/analysis of a piece of media are inherently restrictive/narrow and self centered. Your problem is with people who view a piece of media through a ship they like but don't keep an open mind about it, and whose "media analysis"/views on canon cannot be split from fanon and their comfortability levels. These are the people whose "media analysis" starts and ends with justifying their fanon as canon, whose views on media revolve around sorting characters and relationships into categories they personally enjoy rather than trying to understand what's going on.

Here's another example.

Here we have a fictional ship we'll call uhhhh...Blanebin. this fictional ship I made up on the spot for characters that don't exist named Blane and Corbin

Person A is super into Blanebin. They're part of the main cast of characters and canonically childhood best friends, so person A (as much as they enjoy fanart and fic) is also enjoying analyzing how narratively important to each other they are. Recently, Corbin started dating another character in canon, but Person A is enjoying watching how Blane is reacting to this. "Is this potentially a tell that Blane is jealous or is having complicated feelings about this? What if he was, how would that contextualize his behavior this season? Here's what I think based on how Blane dealt with explicit jealousy last season in a different situation". It's not impossible that person A is still missing further understanding due to their obsession with Blanebin, but at the end of the day this obsession has allowed them to start picking through the characters both in and outside this relationship. It has allowed them to see potential subtext and theorize on what might happen next with these characters' relationship. Not to mention that with addition of Corbin dating someone else, instead of trying to erase this fact or state that Corbin canonically isn't into that person, Person A is trying to factor in how Corbin's current dating life affects his relationship with Blane (irregardless on personal views on the nature of Corbin's relationship with the person he's dating).

Person B is also super into Blanebin. They really enjoy fanart and fic of the characters, love obsessing over their moments together, and just feel like there's really something between the characters. To person B, every moment between them is just further proof that the writers are ship teasing them. But Corbin getting together with someone else this season? Oh that pissed person B off. They cannot believe that even though Corbin and Blane are CLEARLY gay for each other the writers had Corbin get with someone else this season. Perhaps, they think, it was even a decision specifically made to spite fans. How evil of the writers to tease a perfectly good ship and then have them not get together first? They must have been just doing those teases to get views from Blanebin shippers those scoundrels. To Person B, since Corbin started dating someone when he obviously has some chemistry with Blane (even though the series is far from over) means that Blanebin can never get together now and Corbin x person he's dating is ruining Blanebin by existing. In fact, they think, this is terrible writing for Corbin to be dating someone else because they don't like that relationship and don't see the point. Obviously if the writers were good then Corbin would have started dating Blane instead because this was supposed to be the Blanebin show.

Person C despises Blanebin. Don't get them wrong, they've always enjoyed the character's childhood friendship, but they actually have always thought Blane would have been better off with Victoria. They have a lot of moments too! But they're tired of seeing people ship Blanebin. Corbin just got together with someone else, so obviously that's not gonna work out. Plus Corbin and Blane totally has always given person C bro vibes. In fact, person C thinks, sure Corbin and Blane have a close friendship, but people shouldn't be shipping them. Person C likes Blanetoria and Blanetoria can't be canon if Corbin is in the way of it. So Person C likes to read Blanebin as siblings anyways. Sure they're canonically friends, but obviously their friendship turned into brotherhood. This means that nothing can be in the way of Blanetoria and Corbin can keep dating the person he's already canonically dating. Actually, now Blanebin just straight up makes Person C uncomfortable. Don't the pesky shippers understand that Blanebin are sibling coded because they're childhood best friends and that they're important to each other because they're brothers? It's obvious to anyone with eyes.

Sure, ships are involved here, but is the root of this problem shipping? Character A isn't as knowledgeable of other characters in the plot due to this lens they're using, but at the end of the day they're dedicated to analysis. Their love of the characters is pushing them beyond what they like or dislike to try to understand what might be happening through their lens. Not perfect, but they are slowly broadening their horizons. But Person B and C's problems here are their restrictiveness. What is or should be canon to them is tantamount to what they personally like or find comfortable. Is person C actually analyzing the this fake show when they decide to "read" Blanebin as basically canonically siblings (and this all of their moments are totally a bro thing) just because they don't like Blanebin and the idea of them getting together over Blanetoria makes them uncomfortable? Is person B actually analyzing this fake show when their "analysis" of Blanebin goes only as far as asserting it's being ship teased and deciding anything short of canonizing Blanebin is a targeted attack or "bad writing" because it's not what they wanted personally to happen?

This is what I'm talking about. This is the mindset. Shipping isn't the problem. The problem is when people marry fanon and canon to the point where they have a vested interest in superimposing their fanon over canon as "a reading" and trying to make "collective decisions" on what is canon (or what canon is trying to say) based on what does or doesn't make them uncomfortable. The problem is people being restrictive and centering their own likes and dislikes in the conversation, so they can only interact with canon "analysis" wise by deciding what is canon or should be canon "as obviously agreed on by everyone". You can't simply claim you like media analysis. To be able to analyze media and bolster your views on any given canon, you must be open to looking at it through multiple povs, to studying characters without trying to pretend things you don't like don't exist or do like do exist. There is a balance that must be kept between trying to keep objectivity and putting on specific focus/bias based upon the lenses you're putting on. You have to be willing to try to figure out what a media is doing or saying, not saying you're trying to figure out what it's saying while in actuality trying to define the narrative around what people believe it's saying in ways that suit you.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[hilacopter]

probably a very very hot take on this website but I kind of hate the fandom culture of taking two characters (not always but usually same sex) with a very deep or strong bond and going "omg they're so queercoded" "they're literally canon" when like 90% of the time the things they do yes, show a deep devotion to one another, but could just very much be read as platonic love. it's very amatonormative imo and paints romance as the ultimate and deepest form of love rather than just another type of it that can be equally as strong as platonicity.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Digimon Adventure Reboot Sequel AU - Chapter 5: Please Stay As You Are, Okay?

Summary: Under normal circumstances, Taichi would have found Koushirou's rambly and naturally curious nature relaxing. However, talking with him about the concept of the multiverse, universe-hopping and alternate selves while a weird jellyfish in the net threatens the fabric of reality doesn't exactly help his state of dysphoria. He needs to decide if keeping his best friend at arm's length is the correct way to keep him safe, in any universe - or if repeating this pattern will be his downfall...

Chapter list: [Prologue] [0] [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

Resources: [Concept] [Designs] [First Idea] [Playlist] [Ao3]

Word Count: 2245

In hindsight, Taichi didn’t remember how and when exactly he had arrived at Koushirou’s home, since everything had felt like a freaking fever dream to him. He didn’t even question why they were meeting up at his place and not their usual hide-out, since that was where they usually went into the net from. Fortunately, Taichi knew the way to his home inside-out - since they lived in the same building -, so they didn’t get lost half-way through.

“Are you sure we should do this, Taichi…? You look like you need a break”, Agumon whispered towards him from the side, earning himself a confused look by Tentomon. Taichi just stared absent-mindedly at Koushirou, who sat on the floor, connecting various cables and devices to his main computer. Things hadn’t turned out to be as much of an emergency - again - as it had seemed like when reading his message. 

Taichi’s head felt foggy. He could barely reconstruct the explanation Koushirou had given him prior - something about multiplying jellyfish he couldn’t properly decipher -, so he just tried to keep a straight face.

“Nah, if Koushirou says this is urgent, we gotta do what we can, Agumon”, Taichi replied, as soothingly as he could afford. A part of him still felt guilty for having left Sora behind, not even telling her about the whole thing. If Koushirou had messaged her, he at least didn’t seem surprised to not see her with him…

“Do you believe in the concept of the multiverse, Taichi-san?”, he eventually said, completely detached from the previous conversations. He was not even looking up from his secondary laptop while plugging it into his main device, letting his software search for the correct gate to use.

“What?” Taichi blinked quickly, barely ripped out of his trance, mouth feeling awfully dry. “You mean, like in the movies?”

This time, Koushirou sought his glance - causing Taichi to swallow. ‘Stay in the here and now, don’t slip.’

“It’s more complex than that, but to narrow it down shortly: The multiverse is the hypothetical set of all universes. Together, these universes are presumed to comprise everything that exists: the entirety of space, time, matter, energy, information, and the physical laws and constants that describe them.”

Hearing Koushirou ramble under any other circumstances would have been another source of relaxation for Taichi - but in in this very moment, he had a very hard time following him at all. He didn’t seem to take too much note and just kept on explaining:

“The different universes within the multiverse have several names, such as ‘parallel universes’, ‘alternate universes’, ‘parent and child universes’, et cetera. In general, you could say it’s a hypothetical space or realm consisting of a number of universes, of which our own universe is only one possibility.”

“Uh…” Taichi shook his head repeatedly, collecting his thoughts. “Do the Digital World and the other worlds we can travel to count as universes too?”

Having Taichi indulge him in his own curiosity obviously delighted Koushirou, as his eyes lit up some more while continuing: “Like the word ‘world’ already suggests, they’re more like parallel worlds and not universes. It’s similar in concept, but since we can jump between these worlds without disrupting the flow of events, it’s not the same.”

“So you’re saying”, Taichi’s head was still spinning, trying to make sense of what he just heard, “If we were gate-hopping to a parallel universe instead of a parallel world, we would ‘disrupt the flow of events’? As in… Changing the fate of the world?”

Koushirou was basically beaming at him at this point - and Taichi couldn’t help but smile at that sight.

“Like a butterfly effect, exactly! If we mingled with what’s happening in a parallel universe, the consequences might be devastating. And my theory is that this… Whatever it is, a bug, a jellyfish or an actual Digimon, may have come from a different universe, since my system cannot read its data at all. Which is why it messes with our electronics in the way it does - even if it only had a minor impact so far. If it mingled within our universe for too long… Who knows what will happen.”

“It may change the fabric of reality!”, Tentomon added for grand emphasis. “Like changing our evolution lines indefinitely - imagine I’d never turn into Kabuterimon in another universe! Scary! Maybe I’d turn into Greymon instead!”

“That’d be weird!”, Agumon exclaimed - and the smile slowly vanished from Taichi’s lips. 

“S-so it’s a good thing we can just hop between worlds and not universes then…”, he said nonchalantly. And a part of him desperately hoped they would change the topic soon. Heck, Taichi would have preferred to just jump into the net and go for the attack if it meant not delving deeper into it. 

Koushirou didn’t grant him that favour though. He was in way too deep already, Taichi could tell.

“Actually, if all of this is proof of the existence of other universes, I would like to know if it was possible for us to travel to them! Of course we cannot influence anything under any circumstances. Imagine meeting another version of yourself, mingling with their business and influencing their goals, values or just simply their train of thought… It may change their actions entirely…” He paused for a few seconds. “Either way, I’d like to observe it for a while.”

“Sure you would.” Taichi’s voice was trembling and it took all his might to ignore the nausea that had just begun spreading in his stomach. 

“You would too if you knew another universe was in danger… Or rather, your other self in another universe… Wouldn’t you?”

Koushirou’s sudden tone change activated his flight instinct in an instant. Not only did it resemble Sora’s way too much, but… The word choice was immensely alarming. 

“That’s all just hypothetical stuff, Kou”, Taichi replied, colder than intended - thus he used Koushirou’s nickname to soften the blow a little. 

“O-of course, but…”

There it was again - despite getting himself into ramble mode as confidently as he did, despite his unshaken thirst for knowledge, Koushirou could easily get disheartened and timid if somebody was not on the same page as himself. 

Your other self in another universe… 

Even though he tried to resist it, the vision of “the other Koushirou” forced itself into his mind.

A version of Koushirou that seemed more… Collected. They were positively similar in how committed they were to whatever subject they had set their minds to. Curious, studious to the core. But the Koushirou from the other side - the other universe, probably - felt more… Confident, wise beyond his years and even more hands-on than he would describe the Koushirou he was familiar with. Maybe more tired too…

Just like with Sora though, there was a distance Taichi couldn’t deny.

He was able to tell they were close - they were still best friends, he was certain! 

But… In a way, he felt like the other Taichi used to put him on a pedestal. Impressed, if not intimidated. And thus, automatically, kept him at arm’s length. Maybe that was why the other Koushirou seemed so much more vocal too - felt like he had to put his foot down, get more frustrated, yes, even more angry with him. 

Taichi couldn’t stand the thought of that. It sure was nice to know there was the possibility of a Koushirou out there that was more assertive - just like Taichi had always tried to nudge him towards. But at what cost…? 

“Why won’t you ever let me fight, too?!”

“I’ve watched you at your side all these years, isn’t that right?!”

“But I thought you could at least speak honestly with me!”

Did his other self think that Koushirou deserved better? A better friend than he was? It seemed so absurd, so self-destructive to him. Was it really just exactly the same situation as with Sora?! Since he had always felt drawn to Koushirou, liked to be able to chat about silly stuff like multiverses with him. Casually, openly, closely… 

“Let me guess”, Taichi said, feeling sweat forming on his forehead in addition to the slight nausea, lips pressed into a smile, “You talked to Sora and Mimi-chan about this too? What’s with that worried face there?”

Furrowed brows, tense lips, the same look of concern Taichi had seen not even a mere hour ago…

Then, with unexpected bravery, Koushirou leaned forward, steadfast in both glance and voice:

“Would you tell me if you had traveled to another universe? Even if it was just by accident?”

Taichi couldn’t do anything but to stare at him.

“Koushirou, what are you-”

“Would you tell me about what you saw, about your other self?”

The way he had phrased this - and basically everything before that - led Taichi to believe that Koushirou understood. As if he knew exactly what was going on. Like he always knew everything. Maybe that was the reason why the other Taichi kept Koushirou at a distance after all… So he wouldn’t pull him into doom with himself, causing his curiosity to eventually become his own downfall. 

“I don’t know, what do you think my other self would be like?”

“Taichi-san…” As invested as Koushirou could be in his hyperfocus topics without noticing his surroundings anymore, Taichi was aware that he had been caught left-handed by him. “Genuinely speaking, I’d be afraid he’d do something reckless…”

“Very hypothetical.”

Koushirou knew that he was deflecting - just like Taichi knew that this strategy wouldn’t work this time. What if Mimi and Sora had known it too? What if they had looked through him all along and he was the one trapped in a nightmare he couldn’t escape from, no matter what he did?

“I just… Want to make sure you’re not there on your own.”

“I wouldn’t be. I’d have the other Koushirou by my side, right?”

He said it with all the gentleness he had left to gather. And despite everything… Taichi really hoped it was true. He could see the fondness in Koushrou’s eyes there. In both of them. The wish to be there for him, it was like that with him too. 

“... Then, what do you think my other me would be like?”

Whether or not it was another hypothetical question, Taichi simply couldn’t help himself, all doom and gloom aside; he would never grow tired of his Koushirou’s curious self.

“Maybe he’d start his own company at 16, who knows?” The shocked glimmer in Koushirou’s eyes at least gave Taichi a reason to smile again. “And, yeah, maybe he’d scold me for doing reckless things… No worries though, I’d prefer you any day anyway.”

A faint blush started to form across his friend’s cheeks - and Taichi absolutely meant it. The other Koushirou had probably just become better at hiding his insecurities, most likely because he thought that he had to. And the sheer idea to be partly responsible for that sickened him deeply. 

“Really… Please stay as you are, okay? You’re perfectly amazing the way you are right now, Kou.”

It was here that Taichi decided that he had reached a dead end. Even if he had sworn to himself to protect them all by keeping them out of his business… He couldn’t. 

He was tired. So tremendously tired of it and not nearly as strong as he wished he could be.  If he really didn’t want mess up again - he couldn’t repeat the same mistakes as his other self.

Pushing Sora away had made Taichi feel incredibly lonely already - doing the same with Koushirou now would only make it worse. The deflecting, lying to Mimi, Jyou, Takeru… Even Agumon, his own partner, who, just like Sora and Koushirou, had only wished for him to open up and be honest. 

‘I cannot lose them… I simply can’t…’ 

The deafening sound of static pulled all their attention towards the screens again. Too lost in his own inner monologue, Taichi was violently reminded of why they had come here in the first place.

Once the static stopped, various windows popped up on both screens, text racing across them in various languages:

「ゲームをしたい？」 „Möchtest du ein Spiel spielen?“ “Wil je een spelletje spelen?” “Do you want to play a game?”

“What does that mean?”, Tentomon asked, looking to his partner for an answer.

“Ah… Looks like it wasn’t my algorithm that located it… It located us instead”, he gasped, sounding terrified.

“Really?!”, Taichi and Agumon said in unison while Koushirou typed away furiously.

“This does mean that I can pinpoint its exact location though, give me a minute… I’m gonna send the coordinates to Yamato-san and the others as well once I got them. If this is as serious as I think it is, we may need a miracle...”

The mention Yamato’s name was both, the equivalent of someone slapping Taichi in the face - and a sign. Even if he couldn’t have put it into words if he had tried. Maybe that was exactly the kind of miracle he personally needed.

~

Little did they know that the same phenomenon had appeared all over Japan, a symphony of flashing, everywhere from Tokyo to Shimane. Suddenly, in Shibuya, the 104 Tower lit up with a single large eye - and then, everything ceased.

[sofiadragon]

Chapters: 7/10 Fandom: Dr. STONE (Anime) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Stanley Snyder/Dr. Xeno (Dr. STONE), Asagiri Gen & Stanley Snyder, Asagiri Gen & Dr. Xeno (Dr. STONE) Characters: Asagiri Gen, Stanley Snyder, Dr. Xeno (Dr. STONE), American Colony Ensemble (Dr. STONE) Additional Tags: Married Stanley Snyder/Dr. Xeno, Dr. Xeno ships Gen with Stanley briefly, Stanley and Gen don't appreciate it, Asagiri Gen-centric, Gay Asagiri Gen, Gay Stanley Snyder, Stanley Snyder mentors Gen, Asagiri Gen Needs a Hug, Pre-Asagiri Gen/Ishigami Senkuu, Sengen does not appear until the last paragraph, Age Difference, it doesn't happen but it is discussed and I'm tagging for safety, Worldbuilding, Spy drama, Drama, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Mental Breakdown, Military Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, mostly in flashbacks, Asagiri Gen is a liar, Stanley Snyder is a good Mentor, What if Stanley and Xeno liked Gen as a person?, So Much Projection, Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Episode 65 Lock On, The Author Regrets Nothing, Dr Stone Season 4, New America City Arc (Dr. STONE) Summary:

Gen Asagiri is a gentle soul, but everyone has their breaking point. When Senku is shot, something freezes and shatters within him. He will not be kind. He will do everything he can, the very best he can manage, to ensure not one more person he cares about is hurt.

Gen's POV in the beginning, swaps to Xeno's POV for the final battle and aftermath.

There was a book quote, Gen wasn't sure where he'd first heard it. There are three things all wise men fear: the sea in storm, a night with no moon, and the anger of a gentle man. Well, the Kingdom of Science had no shortage of gentle men. Beneath his masks, deep down where his true self hid beneath the layers of acting required to be so deep undercover, Gen Asagiri was also very, very angry.

[necrotic-nephilim]

TimCass - "What is this 'mercy' you speak of?"

(not cassie)

send a ship and a quote and i'll write a short fic!

TimCass my beloved. this is 1.5k of just. mostly emotional whump with brainwashing involved. very inspired by that time in canon where Cass was working with Slade, but. done my way bc that arc was a shitshow. enjoy <3

Two months, three weeks, and five days.

That was how long they’d been looking for Cass since she vanished with no trace.

And now that Tim had found her, he was almost starting to regret it.

Any fight with Cass was a losing one, but Tim swore she was even more brutal than before. It wasn't like fighting a human. She was a living weapon, throwing knives at Tim and dodging every blow he tried to land on her.

He wasn't fighting to win. He was fighting to just stay alive.

“Cass-” Tim tried to say, dodging a slash from one of her katanas. She was duel wielding with perfect precision. Moves Tim didn't know normal humans were capable of. “Cass, it's me!” His bo staff stopped another attack. “You know me, it's Tim!”

If she recognized him, she didn't let on. The blankness of her stare made Tim guess she didn't. It twisted knots in his stomach, trying to figure out where the hell she had been.

Who had gotten to her.

Cass didn't say a word. Nothing Tim said could get so much of a reaction out of her. It was as if she didn't hear him at all.

He should've brought backup. Tim didn't think this lead would pan out, after so many false starts. And now, he paid for it. Backed in a corner, deep in the woods that surrounded Gotham where his tracker had no signal.

Tim was pretty sure this was a trap he’d walked right into.

Cass swung with a katana again, but this time, it was just a distraction. She kicked out Tim’s feet. The moment Tim’s back hit the ground and the wind got knocked out of him, a katana plunged into his shoulder. It went straight through to nail him to the ground, like a pinned butterfly.

Tim wasn't ashamed of his scream. The pain was indescribable. Blindly distracting. He had to force himself to not panic. Cass already had a knife in her hand.

“You’re not a killer, Cass,” Tim begged, trying anything to get through to her. “I want to help you. Please don't do this.” He tried to reach up to her. Cass threw her knife and Tim’s hand got pinned to the ground too, the blade slicing through his skin and muscles like paper.

This time, he managed to not scream.

Cass stared down at him with nothing in her eyes. She lifted her other katana.

“Mercy!” Tim was desperate. “Cass, mercy, please. Just let me talk, I swear.”

She paused.

Her face remained blank, but she paused. Tim held his breath, waiting for the katana to come down on his neck.

Cass opened her mouth. “What…” She was talking. Tim prayed that was a good sign. Just the sound of her voice made him want to cry. “What is… this… mercy you speak of?” She struggled on every word. Finally, her faced changed. Eyebrows knit together and mouth formed into the smallest of frowns.

It didn't sound like a mocking question. Her confusion was so genuine Tim wished he could reach up and touch her. Hold her face and tell her it was going to be okay. Cass’ eyes searched Tim’s face for an answer.

“You,” Tim said, blinking back tears. “You’re what mercy is. You don't kill, Cass. You believe everyone deserves to live. That's mercy.”

Cass shook her head. She looked angry for a second, then confused again. Every emotion seemed to be fighting against her for control.

“Weapon.” Cass pointed to herself. “Not mercy.”

“No.” Tim’s voice broke. “You aren't- whoever told you that is lying. You're the kindest person I know. You’re not a weapon.”

Cass was gripping the hilt of her katana so tightly her hand was beginning to shake. “Kind?”

“Yes.” Tim nodded emphatically.

“I don't… know you,” she sounded regretful. There was anger to it, but she seemed angry at herself now instead of Tim.

“Take my mask off,” Tim offered. He couldn't reach up to her, no matter how badly he wanted to. Both his hands were useless with how she pinned him.

There was hesitation. For a second, Tim was convinced she was going to peel his mask off his corpse.

But then Cass slowly knelt next to Tim, knees crunching against the leaves and pine needles on bare ground. She kept her katana in one hand, but her other one reached for Tim’s face. His mask was carefully peeled off, gentle fingers brushing against his skin.

Cass stared at him for a long time. Tim was vaguely aware he was going to bleed out soon, but all he could think about was his reflection in Cass’ sad eyes.

“Don't know you,” Cass repeated softly. He fingers traced over Tim’s face though, and he held perfectly still. “But…”

“But?” Tim proded when she paused for too long.

“I…” Cass pressed her lips together. It was all too familiar, the exact face she always made when she was trying to find her words. “Think I love you.”

Tim was crying now. Tears falling down his cheeks without an ounce of shame.

“Love you too, Cass,” Tim promised. He gave her the strongest smile he could manage. “Let me help you.”

The softness vanished from her face. She violently shook her head, leaning away from Tim.

“No,” Cass’ voice was strong and firm. “You can't.” She yanked her hand off of Tim’s face, as if his skin had burned her.

“If you love me, then trust me,” Tim begged. He wanted to hold her more than he’d ever wanted something in his life.

Cass shook her head. “Weapon. Will hurt you.” Her eyes drifted to Tim's shoulder and hand that were still pouring blood. “Hurt you,” she whispered, eyes going wide.

“I’m okay,” Tim tried to insist. He was lightheaded and fighting to hold onto consciousness. There was no hiding that from her, but Tim wouldn't let Cass blame herself. “You didn't do this. But you have to tell me who you’re working with. They did this, not you, okay?”

“Can’t.” Tears were starting to fall down Cass’ face too. “Orders.”

“They won't hurt you.” Tim blinked hard. He remembered every tactic Bruce taught him for staying conscious. “I’ll keep you safe, I swear on my life.”

Cass’ fingers twitched toward Tim. Unsure and unsteady. “Safe?”

Tim smiled at her as best he could. “Yes. We’ll both be-”

“If you caught something, you better have killed it by now!” A new voice shouted from a short distance. Followed by heavy footsteps.

Cass snatched her hand away from Tim. Her eyes went wide with unmistakable fear. Then her face went completely blank.

When Tim came to, it was on a medical gurney. He snapped awake with a gasp, trying to sit up. Too many machines were hooked up to him.

That voice. Tim knew that voice. If he just stayed conscious long enough to figure out who it was, he could-

“Careful!” Strong, familiar hands gently pushed Tim back down. “You’re going to tear your stitches.” Dick’s face came into focus as Tim blinked, adjusting to the light.

Tim’s head was spinning. He tried to think, grasping for any recent memories. “What happened?”

“We’re hoping you can tell us,” Dick said softly, concern in his eyes. Behind him, Alfred was cleaning up bloody bandages. “Alfred found you bleeding out in the cave. We… christ, Tim. We thought you weren't gonna make it for a second.”

Tim reached for the bandage wrapping his shoulder. Feeling where Cass’ blade had been.

Cass.

“No one else was here?” Tim asked.

Dick’s frown deepened and he shook his head. “The cameras only picked up on you unconscious at the mouth of the cave.”

“It was Cass,” Tim realized. His heart was stuck in his throat. “I found Cass and- she must've brought me here.”

“The cameras would’ve-”

“She would know how to avoid them,” Tim insisted. “I couldn't have gotten here on my own, Dick. I was already half dead.”

Dick’s face just twisted with more concern. Tim could see the hope he was trying hide, though. “Because of Cass?”

“Someone's manipulating her.” Tim couldn’t get the look on her face out of his head.

“Do you know who?”

Tim thought for a moment. That voice. He definitely knew that voice. He nodded. Tim sat up again, slower this time, already thinking of a plan to get Cass back. He promised her.

“Deathstroke.”

He loved her.

[strayheartless]

Okay let’s torture Zack today: ADHD PARALYSIS STYLE!

Getoutlfbedgetoutofbedgetoutofbedgetoutofbedgetupgetupgetupgetuplazazylazazylazy-

This has been going on for too long now. Why can’t he just get up, huh? Why does this have to be a fight every fucking time? Just get the fuck up dude!

He doesn’t move. Instead his thumb shifts to scroll past another video. He knows Angeals about to bang on the door and demand to know why he’s not out of bed; he knows it’s going to spark a lecture, and he knows his brain is going to feel like it’s been lit up like a firework just hearing anything other than silence. He’s not doing it on purpose. He knows he needs to move.

There’s a knock at the door, and that gets him moving. It doesn’t sound like Angeals knock, it’s too hesitant. Also nobody has walked in which means they don’t have a key…

He opens the door to Cloud who’s standing there looking a little unsure. “You good?” He gives Zack a once over, closing off a little at whatever he finds, pulling his scarf over his mouth in nervous habit.

“Yeah I’m fine why?” Zack blinks. What did he forget?

“We er, we were going to meet for lunch.” Cloud looked away from him, and Zack feels like a grade A asshole. “It’s okay if you changed your mind, it’s just- a text- I mean… a text would have- it’s fine.”

“Cloud I’m so sorry!” He cried trying to stumble around looking for clean cloths from the pile of washing that’s mixed with the dirty laundry on the chair. “I completely lost track. I’m- I- I’m reall-“

He hadn’t realised he’d started crying until Cloud makes him stop with a hand on his arm, and he takes a huge stuttering breath. Why does he keep doing this!? Why does he keep forgetting these things and then upsetting his best friend!

“Zack breath,” Cloud says, kind of commands actually.Zack stops and focuses a little more on taking some breaths.

“Good, that’s good. Just… did you forget or did that thing happen again?” Cloud asks and Zack holds up two fingers to indicate option 2.

“Okay,” Cloud sighs and tries a little smile that he only ever seems to give to Zack. “Okay, that’s fine. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you. Do you want to eat here, or do you think you need to get moving to kickstart something?”

Zack took another breath and struttered “m-moving.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to get dressed then. 300 second okay?”

“Okay.”

Once Cloud closes his door again Zack moves around the room like lightning. He shoves on a shirt that smells clean, does his belt, grabs his phone and wallet and shoves his feet in his shoes.

Outside Clouds holding Zack’s coat out already and helps him into it.

“283 seconds. New record.” He bumps his elbow into Zack’s side lightly, making the other man laugh breathily.

“Cloud I really am so-“

“Don’t. I know you are and you don’t have to apologise. I get that it’s hard for you.” Cloud cuts him off.

Zack just looks at him. How can one person hold so much acceptance in one tiny body? How can somebody who’s known him for no more than a year accept and help him in ways not even his parents could.

Cloud never makes Zack feel bad for this. he never gets mad at him, when he has every right to. All Cloud has ever done is occasionally been insecure himself and even then he changes his approach when Zack explains.

“I really love you, you know that right?” He asks, wrapping his arms around Cloud. “Like, a lot,”

Cloud blushes “shut up,” he says, leaning into the side hug.

He doesn’t say it back, but he doesn’t have to. Zack knows Cloud loves him to and that makes all the difference in the world.

[namixart]

Loner

Read on AO3!

(Minor spoilers for for two conversations in Rebirth. One is from a sidequest in Nibelheim, the other happens when the party goes back to Costa del Sol in chapter 12. Neither is particularly plot-relevant, but still. You've been warned.)

Nobody had taken it seriously. Ha-ha, Cloud’s a grump, he’s prickly, he’s a loner, ha-ha, moving on.

He frowned at the back of Tifa’s head. You seemed fine on your own.

He pressed his lips together and flexed his hand at his side, uncomfortable. He wasn’t... good at being the centre of attention, he wasn’t good with people. Didn’t mean he wanted to—

“You okay?”

Nobody had taken it seriously. Ha-ha, Cloud’s a grump, he’s prickly, he’s a loner, ha-ha, moving on.

Loner

It really shouldn’t have bothered him. Barret hadn’t meant anything by it, and everyone else had just had a good laugh and moved on. Now they were engrossed in a conversation about Johnny’s hotel and whether it was going to be a pile of ashes when they went to check on him, with Yuffie providing an uncanny impression of the guy for Cid and Cait Sith’s benefit.

He frowned at the back of Tifa’s head. You seemed fine on your own.

He pressed his lips together and flexed his hand at his side, uncomfortable. He wasn’t... good at being the centre of attention, he wasn’t good with people. Didn’t mean he wanted to—

“You okay?”

Cloud shook his head and blinked twice, then turned to Aerith, who’d slowed down to match his step as the rest of the group walked on ahead. “Hm?”

“Everything okay?” she asked, furrowing her brows. “You look upset.”

He shrugged. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

Aerith hummed at his side, unconvinced. “Right.”

“Right.”

They walked in silence for a little bit. Cid’s bellowing laughter echoed throughout the streets of Costa del Sol, and Cloud was hit with an unreasonable wave of jealousy. Known them for five minutes and already he was fast friends with everyone. Not a loner, clearly.

“You really don’t look fine,” said Aerith. “You sure nothing’s wrong?”

“Sure,” said Cloud, keeping his gaze trained forward. “Don’t worry about me.”

He heard her sigh. “Okay. I’ll leave you alone, then,” she said, starting to speed up to catch up with the others.

It hit him like a slap. “Wait—no, I—” He fumbled to grab her by the wrist before she could get too far away. They both stopped.

Aerith turned to him with an expression halfway through surprise and concern. “Ah,” she said simply. “So there is something.”

Cloud grimaced and slowly let go of her. “I...” He couldn’t pretend now. He felt naked, vulnerable under her inquisitive look. 

Aerith cocked her head to the side, a silent question. 

Cloud opened his mouth to answer it, but then closed it again. It was so silly, so small, so childish. How was he going to explain to Aerith of all people that it bothered him that his friends thought he’d rather be alone than around them? Did they think he didn’t consider them friends at all?

“It’s stupid,” he muttered, letting his gaze fall to the side.

Aerith hummed. “That’s the way it is, sometimes. But if it’s bothering you, it’s not nothing. I wanna help.”

He bit his lip, still without meeting her eyes. She sighed again, and drew closer to him. She lightly took his arm and pulled him forwards a little. “Let’s go somewhere quiet, ‘kay?”

Cloud nodded slowly. “’Kay,” he replied. Then, he furrowed his brows. “The others—”

Aerith shrugged. “They’ll understand. Let’s go.”

He let her pull him through the streets of Costa del Sol, where even the shadows were warm. She seemed to know where they were going, and Cloud idly wondered how long she’d spent roaming the town their first time there. Eventually, they stopped in a small secluded plaza towards the outskirts of Costa del Sol, quiet and sunny. 

Aerith sat down on a bench and patted the marble next to her. “C’mon,” she said. 

Cloud wordlessly obliged. It was warm. They sat in the sun for a little bit, and Cloud closed his eyes to soak up the rays. He was going to be covered in freckles by the time the sun set, but it was nice.

The silence dragged on, fragile and tense. Eventually, Aerith was the one to break it.

“Is it Sephiroth?” she asked, quiet and hesitant. 

The name sent a shiver down his spine. He shook his head. “No. It’s—It’s dumber than that. Way dumber.” He frowned.

Aerith hummed. “I’ll listen anyway.”

Cloud sighed. It was stupid, but... if he could tell anyone, it was her. “It’s... what Barret said earlier,” he finally pried from his lungs, fighting to push every word out. 

“What Barret... About your driving? Oh, Cloud, he—”

“No, no.” Cloud shook his head. “The... loner thing.”

He could feel her eyes on him for a long beat. He drummed his fingers on the bench beside him, trying to get the nervousness out.

“I’m... not sure I follow,” she said then, slowly.

Cloud winced. He’d been hoping that Aerith would understand without him having to spell it out. He felt his cheeks warm up a bit and cleared his throat. “Do you think... Do you think I enjoy being alone?” he asked quietly.

She let out a quiet gasp. “That’s what’s bothering you?” No surprise, judgement, or pity in her voice; just trying to make sure she understood.

Cloud nodded. 

Aerith hummed. “Right. Well, does anyone? Enjoy loneliness?”

Tifa seems to think so, he thought bitterly.

“Not me,” he said, frowning. “I didn’t know you guys...”

Aerith sighed and leaned back on her hands. “I don’t think that. And I don’t think the others literally think that, either. But... you do have a bad habit of pushing people away. Just look at earlier.” She gave him a pointed look and Cloud tried not to squirm too much. 

“I...” He bit his lip. “I’m... sorry. I told you it was dumb.”

She shook her head. “It’s not dumb. I’m glad you’re telling me. I just wanna help.” She scooted a little closer and bumped his shoulder with hers.

He nodded slowly and looked away. “I’m just... not good with people,” he said. “‘Specially when there’s lots of ‘em. But I’m trying. A-And I know I’m too quiet sometimes, but...”

“Hey.” Aerith gently took his hand in hers. “It’s okay.”

Cloud blinked twice. He hadn't realised his voice had gotten shaky. He took a deep breath.

“I don’t wanna be alone,” he murmured, hating the way he sounded like a petulant child. “I just... can’t be the way you guys are.”

Aerith gave his hand a squeeze. “That’s okay. You don’t have to be an extrovert to wanna be around people. But you might wanna start showing them you care more.”

Cloud shot her a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she started, playing with his fingers, “let people in. And ask to be let in in turn.”

He stiffened. Close as they were, there was no way she wouldn’t notice. She giggled quietly and gave his hand another squeeze. “I know it’s scary.”

Cloud wanted to deny it so badly, but they both knew she was right. 

Asking people to let him in had only ever led to rejection before. Why would things be different now? Wasn’t it easier to save himself the trouble and stay out of their hair? It wasn’t like they’d miss him anyway. He was like driftwood floating in the sea: good to hang onto if needed, but forgotten about as soon as he was out of sight. 

The thought lodged itself uncomfortably in his chest. He pressed his lips together and didn't meet Aerith’s eyes.

He heard her sigh. “You know,” she started, still playing with his hand, “you’re kinda like a stray cat.”

Cloud turned to face her and blinked twice. “Huh?”

She giggled. “Yeah. One of those little guys who’re super skittish and hiss at you if you get too close. And they scratch, too, the little pests.”

“Thanks,” he muttered, frowning.

“There was this one stray back home in Midgar,” she continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “A cute tabby cat who used to hang out near the church when I was a kid. Mom always said to leave her alone, because she didn’t like people much.”

She had a soft, nostalgic smile on her face, and Cloud felt his own smile crawl on his face. “Guessing you didn’t listen.”

Aerith winked. “You know me so well. I just wanted to befriend the grumpy church cat! You can’t blame me.”

Cloud shook his head lightly and chuckled.

“Anyway, I kept going back day after day to try to feed her and get her to come out of her hidey-hole. Never, ever worked. She’d just hiss at me and scuttle off. But then... One day, I ran off to the church after some kids, well—” She cut herself off and waved a hand in the air. “You know.”

Cloud didn't know, but he could imagine. She’d said it before: she’d grown up with no friends. He could picture how other kids talked to her, and it wasn’t nice. She was still holding his hand, so he gave hers a light squeeze. 

Aerith shot him a half smile and continued, “Anyway, I went to the church to get away from them and have a nice long mope. And I guess that tabby heard me cry, because she came up to me and just crawled in my lap, purring like a truck engine!” She giggled. “It was enough to make me forget about those kids until my mom came to get me.”

Cloud hummed. She kicked her feet a little bit, knocking the heels of her boots together. “The cat stayed at the church, but she was just a bit less skittish after that. Never became super friendly, mind you, but she’d let me feed her and pet her every once in a while. She even let me help her deliver her kittens!”

He nodded slowly, fighting back a bemused smile. “And you’re saying... I’m like that?”

“Hm-mm! Exactly.” She grinned. “And if I could get that grumpy old cat to trust me, I sure as hell can get you to open up.”

Cloud laughed quietly and thought that they were sitting together in a secluded sunny plaza, holding hands and trading whispers and secrets. She was already there.

“Maybe,” he said nonetheless, as his smile faded a little. “But I think you’re the odd one out, there.”

Aerith shrugged. “I’ve always been the odd one out. But I promise you I’m not, this time.” She tightened her hold on his hand and leaned closer to him. “We love you,” she said matter-of-factly, smiling in a way that left him speechless and motionless, a way that left no doubt that she was being sincere and serious. “All of us. And we know you love us. You fall, we’ll catch you. You reach out, we’ll reach back.”

Cloud swallowed a thick knot in his throat, at once pinned in place and torn apart between the dark, potent fear she was lying to him and the burning and desperate desire to believe her. 

“So don’t push us away,” finished Aerith, gently poking his nose with her finger. “Because you’ll only hurt yourself as well.”

“I...” Cloud bit his lip and shook his head. “I...”

Her smile softened even more and she let go of his hand. But, instead of pulling away, she pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arms around his middle and holding him close. “I don’t hug you nearly often enough,” she said. “Is it cool if I do it more? This is nice.”

“Sure,” breathed Cloud, tentatively returning the hug. It was nice. He let out a shaky exhale as she rubbed slow, soothing circles on his back.

She giggled. “You’re not alone,” she whispered, drawing closer. “You don’t have to be alone. Let us in. We're here.”

In spite of himself, Cloud nodded. “Thank you,” he murmured. He didn’t know if he fully believed her, but he wanted to so badly it stung. Wanted to believe he could reach out and not get his hand slapped away. But, then again... He had just reached out to Aerith. And she was still there. Hugging him and telling him he didn’t have to be alone after all. “Thank you,” he repeated.

Aerith hummed, but didn’t pull away. Cloud didn't know how long they stayed like that before it eventually dawned on him that she wasn't going to let go first. She’d be there as long as he needed her to and, as embarrassing as it was, he needed a little bit longer.

Finally, slowly, Cloud drew in a deep breath and hesitantly let go of her shoulders. Aerith let him, but took his hand again.

“Feeling better?” she asked with a small smile.

Cloud nodded. “Think so.” He gave her fingers a light squeeze. A silent thank you.

She giggled. “Anytime.” Of course she’d heard it anyway. “Anytime at all. I’ll be here.”

“I know,” he caught himself saying. And, incredibly, miraculously, he caught himself believing it.

Aerith beamed. “Great!" she exclaimed, standing up from their bench and pulling him up with her. “Say, how ‘bout we get started on your quest to prove to everyone you're not a loner?"

He warily raised his eyebrows. “…Listening.”

“Let’s all go out tonight,” she said. “Just to have fun.”

Cloud frowned. “But we gotta—”

“The Keystone can wait one night," she said, threading their fingers together. “This is important too.”

He considered it for a moment. 

Another loner. As if one wasn't enough.

You seemed fine on your own.

Let him be, leave him alone, he's gonna be fine, he doesn't care anyway.

Alone, alone, alone. Always been, always will be.

And that won't change if you don't do something about it.

Cloud nodded. “Alright. Think I saw a bowling alley on the main street.”

Aerith grinned. “Oh, I am so gonna wipe the floor with you all."

He smiled as well. “You're on. Let’s go get the others.”

As they walked out of the plaza and towards the hotel, Cloud couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. Aerith squeezed his fingers again, as if her hand was the lifeline keeping him from drifting off into the ocean, to be discarded and forgotten about. But, with that tether securing him to land, he could learn to swim and make his way back on his own.

And his friends would be there, waiting for him.

He squeezed back. Yeah. That sounded nice.

[skrunksthatwunk]

playing nier replicant the stupid way, which is doing like 45% of ending B, all of ending C, and ??? of ending D in one sitting. SOS it's been like 8 hours

[traumawhomst]

Don’t mind me I just can’t stop thinking about forced transformation (mostly magic transformations) with yanderes

I love it all honestly, I love more instant transformations, done so quickly you can’t even fully grasp what’s going on much less fight back or argue. Waking up in a body you don’t recognize much less understand.

Or even long term transformations weeks months maybe years, slowly watching who you thought you were shift and change with no way to stop it. Forced to try and escape only to watch it all happen.

Which is less traumatizing is debatable as well, would you rather loose yourself over time watching the inevitable creep closer, but have time to at least grieve and come to terms with it. Or loose everything in a blink of an eye but spared the agony of watching yourself disappear with no way out.

Then you have, of course, the yandere who did this to you in the first place (not always though) who’s more happy than empathic while it happens and after. Excited to teach and watch you grow and change. You’ll understand why they did this, they promise, in time.

I do love when the Yandere is the only you can turn for comfort during this time. They’ll happily let you cry on their lap, soothing you as best they can while your body is wracked with pain. You hate them but at this point you hate being alone more. Not to mention the fact that if you want to understand or know your new self they are the only ones who can teach you.

Not to mention when it’s finally done and over with they don’t even really have to keep you locked up. People from your old life won’t recognize you, won’t believe that you didn’t chose this, and even if they did you still can never be the person you were before. They’d even be sympathetic when you come back, defeated and broken, explaining that it was a necessary lesson. You can only trust your own kind now, but thankfully they’re here ready to teach and understand.

[ruby-myth-dreamer]

Whilst I'm working on my skywarp hallowformers stuff as promised just like, want to let the people know that

Most, if not all, ships in any au of mine for anything will be ambiguous unless stated otherwise, including my favorite ships!

This is for a few reasons :

1. I cannot write romance for the life of me, I do not understand romance and have never felt romantic feelings ever so I have no idea how to make that work

2. I am a sucker for platonic relationships and found family, transformers is so awesome for having amica as a thing it makes me go crazy

(any angsty fic with platonic relationships will always hit me harder than ship fics, i was also an sbi girlie if that explains anything)

3. Fear of making a character centered around who they're shipped with (hence why i try to give each character some sort of personality before pairing, like skyfire, jazz or prowl for example, i want to be their own person first before i imply any relationships)

4. Im a multi-shipper anyways so like do whatever you want if some characters seem implied and its a ship you like more go crazy yknow, even if I dont like the ship im not gonna stop you

(unless i ask you not to ship something in my au, skystar in my tf x rw au, they're amica's only for a reason)

nothing brought this on specifically i just kinda remembered and thought yknow i should like, probably let the people who like my au know so, now you know! Ya girl cant write romance </3

[tyrannuspitch]

the infuriating thing abt sherlock (narrator: there were many) is that it definitely doesn't Intend for us to read it as gay. but reading it as gay is perfectly thematically consistent. the core of the story is that john and sherlock are contrasting characters learning from each other. john is learning to embrace the unconventional. sherlock is learning the value of emotions. obvious synthesis: john and sherlock having unconventional emotions together. hmm... maybe the ones you bring up five times an episode???

[teenagefeeling]

btw this is kinda random but like i've been using ace as a label for a minute now (at least, on here lol) but i am like now to the point where im not sure if im also aro or not. i've narrowed the ace label down to what im fairly certain is grey-ace but like. im in a position that im sure many have found themselves in before where i cannot meaningfully distinguish between romantic and platonic love and thus can't figure it out. which means that if nothing else, i believe in aros' beliefs, but like does not get me any closer to self-identification lmfao

the good news is that it doesn't rly matter so i don't need to make a decision at all (and if i do i can always change it later), but i can't help but think about it fairly often tbh

[ikiyou]

I'm also interested. As someone who started BSD years ago before any fandom hype, I can give you the data point of my experience.

I chose to watch BSD because of the supernatural tiger. It was in my watch list for a good while, and that was the description. Sounded cool. No other outside exposure.

Started it, disappointed it wasn't really about a real supernatural tiger.

Finished it, ended up really liking it. There are no real ships, it's not a romance. I chose to watch it partly because it wasn't billed as a romance. I liked the good guys, disliked the bad guys, because I like to have my brain off when I consume media for the first time and take things as they are actually presented, at face value. I leave the thinking to later.

Decided to start reading fanfic about it. The show not having any ships, I eventually decided, may as well read Dazai/Atsushi because they're the main characters after all. Was a generic Dazai/Atsushi fan for a little bit. Nothing else seemed interesting to me.

Decided on a whim one fateful day to read a Dazai/Chuuya smut fic. My world changed, I said goodbye to Dazai/Atsushi and never looked back.

So that's the experience of one person who had never before been exposed. Personally, I'd see Dazai/Atsushi as the main ship, if your standard is how main are the characters. If your standard is how partner are are characters canonically already, Dazai/Kunikida is logical.

But I'll also say that beyond a possible future Atsushi/Lucy, Atsushi/Kyouka, or Margaret/Nathaniel, I don't evaluate BSD as having any implied ships at all.

doing a social experiment where i am introducing my friend to bungou stray dogs solely through knkdz content/official art and portraying kunikida and dazai as the "main" implied relationship in bsd. no skk, she does not know chuuya, i have not mentioned chuuya and she will not meet chuuya until episode nine. this is solely for the purpose of seeing whether or not new bsd fans' pyscholgies are skewed bc of skk or whether they start the show solely for them. after she meets chuuya i'll ask her which pairing she prefers more