#but im very glad i had no perspective the first time because it gave me a unique experience

[ikiyou]

I'm also interested. As someone who started BSD years ago before any fandom hype, I can give you the data point of my experience.

I chose to watch BSD because of the supernatural tiger. It was in my watch list for a good while, and that was the description. Sounded cool. No other outside exposure.

Started it, disappointed it wasn't really about a real supernatural tiger.

Finished it, ended up really liking it. There are no real ships, it's not a romance. I chose to watch it partly because it wasn't billed as a romance. I liked the good guys, disliked the bad guys, because I like to have my brain off when I consume media for the first time and take things as they are actually presented, at face value. I leave the thinking to later.

Decided to start reading fanfic about it. The show not having any ships, I eventually decided, may as well read Dazai/Atsushi because they're the main characters after all. Was a generic Dazai/Atsushi fan for a little bit. Nothing else seemed interesting to me.

Decided on a whim one fateful day to read a Dazai/Chuuya smut fic. My world changed, I said goodbye to Dazai/Atsushi and never looked back.

So that's the experience of one person who had never before been exposed. Personally, I'd see Dazai/Atsushi as the main ship, if your standard is how main are the characters. If your standard is how partner are are characters canonically already, Dazai/Kunikida is logical.

But I'll also say that beyond a possible future Atsushi/Lucy, Atsushi/Kyouka, or Margaret/Nathaniel, I don't evaluate BSD as having any implied ships at all.

doing a social experiment where i am introducing my friend to bungou stray dogs solely through knkdz content/official art and portraying kunikida and dazai as the "main" implied relationship in bsd. no skk, she does not know chuuya, i have not mentioned chuuya and she will not meet chuuya until episode nine. this is solely for the purpose of seeing whether or not new bsd fans' pyscholgies are skewed bc of skk or whether they start the show solely for them. after she meets chuuya i'll ask her which pairing she prefers more

[bluedeedeedoop]

My Thoughts on Tales of the Empire; mostly Barriss (spoilers ahead!)

Ah hello all, i have had some days or so to think since watching the show and to say it has completely wiped me of my life force would be... pretty accurate tbh. BUT I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO POST MY THOUGHTS. will this cover my entire though process that im sTill working through? PROBABLY NOT! my thoughts are very unorganized and very unstable! ANYWAAAAYS.

Now I just gotta say overall, the show itself definitely passed the test. To be completely honest, i wasn't really paying attention to the Morgan parts as i was the Barriss parts, since it was literally what I was looking forward to this entire time.

Though I will say that the first Morgan episode was pretty neat! it was crazy seeing that perspective of the Nightsisters again and god did they make Grievous fucking terrifying. Honestly, bravo to them, it was amazing. I diiiiid end up just.. kinda spacing out the rest of it tho unfortunately cuz i just wanted to see barriss..

Visuals 10000/10. stunning, amazing, phenomenal, gahdamn. the animation was so smooth and fluid and uGHH it was amazing throughout the entire show. Acting amazing as always. BUT GOD I CANT GET OVER HOW AMAZING THE ANIMATION WAS.

NOW.

In my opinion, they got her character pretty on the dot. I am SO glad they did. I was rlly rlly worried they were totally butcher her character and make her unrecognizable to all of us but oml they didn't completely disappoint us, she has her morals, SHES STILL A HEALER! Im so happy from that.

Now although i did enjoy it, i do have my own little complaints.

Now okay one i noticed since the trailer and has REALLY been bugging me; where are her hand tattoos??? idk i guess i just wasn't expecting them to just be gone?? they couldn't have just forgotten them.. right? I dunno, but unless someone has a genuine answer for that, imma just keep drawing them on her in the future.

??????

Alright another thing i've been seeing ppl post about is how come she looked so old at the end? I am also confused on that and i've seen multiple theories. She should only be like 30-35 max right?? Because i'm assuming the last episode took place a the time in Rebels where the inquisitors were after the force sensitive children, and Ahsoka was around that age a the time, so why is Barriss any different?

I suppose the one i think makes the most sense is the force healing? I guess it could take a toll on her over the years causing her to look more aged, but still, i'd really prefer an explanation. Also what happened to her hair coverings?? Is that not her culture?? I dunno, again, i really need an explanation. I suppose that maybe her perspective has changed since trying to come to terms with her new life, and her ditching the coverings is a way to free herself from her past? Honestly i have no clue but i just need a lot of things answered.

That's mostly my complaints on it! I just felt things weren't explained enough but to be fair, they only gave her like 3 15-ish min episodes?? I really think they got some explaining to do. Which brings me to my next points.

I'm like... 98% sure that the "old friend" is Ahsoka that she was talking about. Who else would it be?? Like cmon. And if it is Ahsoka, why did we not get to see anything about the moment of confrontation? or at least more of a mention? I guess they wouldn't rlly wanna rush that scene, and tbh, im glad they didn't. It's not some "we talk for 5 min and everything is fine" type of situation. it'll take time. time to rebuild that trust. time to discuss. YEAH. I've heard many people state how it would be more likely and realistic to see a novelization of that and i agree. I would want it to take time, showing the build of the relationship over time, going on further into the story as we watch their strong bond mend from the trauma it's faced. I'm not saying this as a crazed Barrissoka shipper, i mean it that I would genuinely want to see how that confrontation is handled, as do many others and not just as a ship!! It's been a decade! the fans wanna know!

And my last point.

I.believe.Barriss.is.alive.

The more i rewatch it, the more i believe it. the first time around i had my doubts, but something tells me they are NOT done with her character. At least before the stabbing scene anyway. There's too much stuff that's left unanswered for it to just end that way! I dunno man, but Lyn's "i'm going to get you out of here" sounded way too determined for a "im going to move your body out of here" type of thing yk? maybe she could sense she was still alive, just barely hanging in there? I don't think they are done with Barriss Offee, and I wont think so unless we see her corpse being fucking BURIED. Not to mention the UNGODLY amount of parallels of that scene along with them exiting the cave. I've already seen so many point it out. Post-Vader and Ahsoka fight on Malachor?? Back when we all thought Ahsoka may or may not be dead?? sounds familiar hello?? Also a parallel from earlier in the show itself when Barriss saves that unnamed jedi! she HEALS them when they were going to be left there. Something tells me the same fate may happen to Barriss. Idk call me crazy but i will say it again, i don't think they are done with her story.

Thank you for reading my very unorganized thoughts! this has taken me longer to write than expected because i did not predict this to make me have to step away from making SEVERAL times- but yeah! lmk what yall think! and yes you can be expecting some art here and there! i know i've been slacking- Also lmk if u want me to post my crazed Barrissoka thoughts! because aHa i have them. i have them a lot. send help.

ALSO KEVIN KINER I GOT MY EYE ON YOU. BRO NEEDS TO RELEASE THE SOUNDTRACK BEFORE I DIE.

[anomymoussoapbar]

hey, I saw one of your posts and your account and said you wanted to learn more about proship, right? (Sorry I can be a lil overthinker at times) I can explain my own causes if that can help you learn another perspective. THIS IS GONNA BE LONG SO PLEASE BE PATIENT.

First off, I am mostly a darkshipper! darkshippers ship the illegal stuff, like incest and you know all that. I am myself a darkshipper mostly. I ship things like "stalker x victim", "yand3re", "obsessive dynamics" and all that stuff similar. I DONT ship the illegal incest/ age gaps but Instead I prefer to go with the illegal toxic dynamics!

Now as to WHY I am a darkshipper and why I use this KIND OF FICTION to 'cope' comes from a past experience of mine. Not gonna go into detail, but I used to be very obsessive and have unhealthy attachments! They weren't good at all! I even had harmful intrusive thoughts because I would get jealous and live In a constant fantasy of "yandere wannabe" (Lol- I was 11 at that time ok💀) Which almost led me to end up harming others irl! (Hopefully I never did) and Now, I am out of that phase, I went to therapy for a while but then my mom got me outta there for idk why, which is why after i finished therapy, I wanted to manage my same intruisve thoughts and urges as much as i could! which is what led me to discover proshipping! (Or darkshipping specifically)

I project myself onto my dynamics and characters, so i can relieve myself when im feeling stressed or have a strong urge to go back to that horrible phase of my life and not care about anything else (to be short, i am impulsive. Also, ive also tried things like writing and drawing but they dont help as much)

Shipping these kind of fucked up dynamics GENIUNELY GENIUNELY helped me figure out the severity of it and gave me more control and the common sense to not do those things irl. Since I am now taking out the intrusive and impulsiveness outta me in fiction and not real life, I am not harming anyone! Nor do I truly wish to. My preteen years were f'ed up but I am better now and darkshipping has helped me through that. I don't condone abuse nor toxicity irl, and I NEVER WILL, since I am now aware of how grave the situations are if you take it out of fiction and put it in a real life setting.

The main reason for darkshipping is to relieve myself in fiction without worry I am harming others (because it's fiction) whlist knowing the severity of the ships if they were in in real life. As a proshipper (someone who's anti-harassment and supports problematic media, pairings, or are laid-back about it), most of us go by this saying: "ship and let ship". Also, we KNOW fiction AFFECTS reality, it can and it will, but not on a 1:1 scale (meaning it only affects reality when the shipper doesn't have the common sense to differentiate the two or if it's a kid, who's brain hasn't developed yet)

I WILL always keep my ships in fiction, and I am no longer feeling as impulsive as I did all those years ago, because darkshipping for some reason helped me figure out a way, which was projecting onto characters as well as exploring dark dynamics for fun!

Each Proshippers/darkshippers/comshipper's stories are a reason for who they are now. We don't go around and go committing those things we ship irl because it's very wrong to do so. As someone who almost attempted horrible things irl at such young age like 11, I myself now have the common sense and the control within myself now that I'm a little more grown up. Now i am older, I know have the care and healthy attachment to keep friendships and hang out with others, be more self-controlling and of course, more understanding of myself and others.

PLEASE PLEASE take care of yourself, if anything bothers you distance yourself from it, drink plenty of water and go for a walk or do your fav hobby, anything when you're feeling a little down ❤️ I'm GLAD I could talk to someone about this! So sorry if it was very long but I hoped this helped with your perspective. You're loved and you're very amazing, I love your account, and I'm willing to share more some other time. Bye👋

Hello :*)

Thank you so much for sharing your reasoning. I love how you found yourself a healthy way to vent out feelings and express them in ways that you can realize how realistically would be harmful. Interesting how darkshipping is actually quite common now that you defined it.

Killers/stalkers/kidnappers x victims are a common trope people love and the complexity of it is something I see everywhere. Even self proclaimed antis use these tropes as well. I never really thought about it until now LOL.

Also, thank you so much for the ask, you are very kind. I am sorry I took so long to get to you 🌸💕 and for the other askers as well. I will get to you all soon. I love you all and the support I have received in this blog.

Explanation for inactivity under cut

I have begun my studies again, and have focused SO much on them I have been neglecting my tumblr. Specifically this one. Trust me when I say this is NOT bait. I promise.

-Soapy

[wildernessuntothemselves]

AHHHHHHH! ITS FINALLY HERE!! I was checking ur account everyday to see if chap 6 was up, but then when it was finally out I was busy with my duty. I had to read it bit by bit and reread it better after my shift 😭 Im sorry in advance because this is long.. hehe

I was happy? that finally beomgyu (suffered jk) shows affection to oc, may it be just for possessiveness or he actually likes her because for the past few chapters he has been really confusing 😡 Beomgyu was an asshole from the previous chapters that it made me root for yeonjun, but this chapter made me see a new perspective to him. (baby im sorry pls take me back hahahahaha)

Anyways, i was really waiting for oc and yeonjun's smut (basically begging for it). The scene was so good 😭 At first i was like omg it was so hotttttttt and detailed he really gave oc's first time a justice, he was very considerate and always makes sure that oc feels good. But then I got sad at the part where after the sex, oc immediately felt insecure and the first thing she asked was if yeonjun enjoyed it. Idk if others would agree but i feel like the smut scene practically describes what a first time really feels like? And how bad it is to do just because u want to forget someone.

If your goal was to confuse us on what gyu is really feeling towards oc, you are really good at it hahahah. Whoever oc is going to end up i know it'll hurt so bad 😭 But lets just be real here, either yeonjun and beomgyu deserves oc, and oc deserves love coming from either of them.

One last thing, it's nice that oc character was given more depth? for this chapter. it made her personality and relationship with beomgyu more reasonable.

I feel like i can predict the ending but ur so unpredictable so i will not assume things ahahhahahaha thanks for this wonderful series author 🫶

Haha yeah people really wanted to see gyu suffer because they felt hurt by him and now that he's suffering it's like 🥺🥺🥺 baby don't cry 🥺🥺🥺

I think you’re the only one who liked the smut scene but I'm glad to hear it because it was difficult for me to write 😂 i don't think it necessarily describes first times but more like one version of first times, especially when you're with someone you don't feel completely comfortable with. Oc still doesn't really feel secure with yeonjun despite how sweet he is. She worries what he thinks of her and if he compares her with others etc

Aww that's a nice sentiment. A lot of readers express how this character or that character don't deserve happiness but you think they all deserve love and I agree. Though gyu and oc can be assholes, they're very hurt and they are good people at heart and deserve happiness.

Ohhhh I'd love to hear predictions! I love knowing if people can predict the endings. Some people really get it right with scary accuracy!

[mar-zom]

responding to your post about the aot ending. (if this doesn’t work for what you wanted don’t answer but i thought i’d open up about this!)

i just finished attack on titan a few days ago. because before that, i hated what i saw. like, from the perspective of someone who got all their information from manga clippings on tumblr. and here’s why i hated it with every fiber of my being:

a) i hated marley. i didn’t like reiner or zeke, i hated gabi, and i hated how much attention they got in the final season/issues. i wanted to see our main cast, not these side characters who ruined everything. (after finally finishing it, i have a new appreciation. i still dislike gabi and zeke, and i’m not the biggest fan of reiner. but i found myself absolutely adoring porco and colt and pieck and it gave me room to open up)

b) i hated eren. he went from the protagonist we were supposed to adore to the antagonist we were fighting against and i thought it was too bold of a choice and i couldn’t get on board with it. the whole conversation with armin and mikasa… ugh. i was infuriated. and everything i saw only furthered that. the rumbling?? mikasa kissing his decapitated head??? it was all so weird and upsetting to me. (i sobbed over the scene where she kissed him. i cried through the intro every time. he was a child. he just wanted to save his friends.)

c) levi. i was BEYOND convinced that without hange in the picture, he couldn’t have a happy ending. i was livid that he survived. i was infuriated that he survived AND didn’t ever fully heal from his physical injuries. it felt like they had taken everything from him, and i was so mad about it. (i made a whole post about how wrong i was about this one)

so, yeah! these were the reasons that it took me several years to finally actually finish attack on titan, and see that the ending isn’t as bad as i had previously thought.

Thank you for answering and wanting to share your opinion! Even though you had rocky opinions starting out i’m glad you were able to finish it in the end, no matter how your opinions changed or stayed the same!

Here’s my thoughts: (feel free to skip if you’re not interested)

It took me a really long time to finish AOT as well, i started watching it when Season 1 came out and then was hesitant to watch any further when the next season was added because i was nervous about how the story would go, im glad i finished it when i did though because i grew up and was able to understand the plot a lot better.

i can completely relate on not liking Gabi or Zeke, even after finishing the show i still strongly dislike them. though i feel a little neutral when it comes to Reiner and the other Warriors. I feel bad for Reiner and how far he was pushed even after he had wanted to die but his actions were still awful, i do not sympathize with him but i do pity him. Marley is still unforgivable in my eyes.

As far as Eren goes, i’m pretty neutral on him, it’s very Love Hate relationship between me and him. It was the first time i’ve ever seen a protagonist become the antagonist (or at least an anti-hero) so it was very shocking. I hate Eren because he made the decision without anyone else’s consideration and believed it was okay, even after we get a glimpse of his talk with Armin in the final episode he still did The Rumbling. I love him because i feel bad for him, he was just a kid when he was pushed into the role of a Titan shifter and everyone in the Survey Corps took advantage of his titan, seeing him as a tool rather than anything else.

I believe that how things ended was the only way things could have ended, everyone was pushed to the extreme and killing Eren was the only way to end the story (i know a lot of people have problems with the ending because of Eren dying)

I was happy to see that Levi got a (overall) neutral ending (imo) although i agree that without Hange in the picture it would be hard to see Levi surviving I believe that Hange dying was the final straw with him so you can imagine my surprise to see that he survived AND then was in a portion where he was being very kind and generous to the kids (though it makes sense because he had been in the same position as them before) i’m very happy he survived in the end

In the end, i didn’t side with either sides of the war because overall, there were no completely good people with good intentions, and i was glad it turned out that way because no one is entirely good. Nothing is ever black and white.

Overall it’s really interesting to see what other people think of the ending so thanks for sharing!

[cannibal-nightmares]

is this post abysmal or hopeful? I'm not certain. it kinda goes in a circle too. Slight nonsensical ramble.

I saw a comment in r/schizophrenia that gave me some pause (I know, I know, a reddit user..)-- the post was from someone looking for advice from older schizophrenics, and a comment expressed their self-patience in a several-year-long psychosis, predicting, too, that they expected the episode to go on for even longer before they would see the light at the end of their tunnel (as per their previous personal experience). I was too young during my first episode to know, remember, or actualize how long it lasted--I don't know if I had any distinct episodes between then and 2018. In 2018, I don't know when it started or when (if) I got out of it; in 2020-2021, I don't know when that started or ended, either (possibly the middle or end of 2022?). What I can say is--at the very least, although I didn't realize it until much later in the timeline--that 2023 was beautiful. I don't know for how long--possibly just a few months, possibly the whole year--but I sincerely believe I had a moment of normalcy, and I find it interesting.

I know I'm in the midst of it now. I think it started in March or January or even December. I can't get it rewritten in my head that my co-workers are not apart of a big scheme against me (the details of which I am "not allowed" to express here), that my friends (especially new ones) aren't plotting against me, that my new apartment isn't actively hurting me somehow (despite all the genuine good it has granted me), etc, etc, etc, much more. So if you've seen me existing in patterns (or lack thereof) via posts and comments and interactions and DMs and texts, this is why. I'm not sure if you "come back changed" due to the fact that files corrupt in your brain, or if it's the sheer inherent fact that so much time can pass. I "find it interesting" that I had a moment of """normalcy""" in 2023 because.. What is "normal" for something so prolonged? Is it better? How much "better" is "different," especially as you can't even actualize what is ""worse"" rather than it just being *your reality*?

I'm saying all of this now because the post and comments I saw reassured me in.. a sort of confirmation that I'm living Otherwise. The fight against the "Otherwise" is a big portion of the tantalization. It reassured me with the realization that so many of my friends have met and known me while in active psychosis, I just have to wonder if and hope that their perspectives don't change in their awareness as I choose to openly clarify and grant it. It reassured me to think I have been here before and didn't give up. I have learned so much patience within it. Despite everything, I do not (or at least no longer as of a couple years ago) define myself as an anxious person, though I know many people do or have before. I've always defined myself as skeptical in a neutral sense. But the reddit comment(s) made me further understand my own mantra of "its only your perception versus my reality," that while psychosis *does* define my living experience, it doesn't define *me* in the direct sense; I choose to label myself as "psychotic," but my own definition and weight of the word differs from the dictionary and DSMV definition (which is just the epitome of unreality, isn't it? hahahaha)

This is so hard to explain. What im trying to say is I currently feel hopeful, even if that hope is based within the parameters of unreality. I feel hopeful in the thought that I am just experiencing the world with a kaleidoscope to my eye and that I'm just the guy with the rainbow looking glass. Idk. Idk how to conclude this. Idk if any of this makes any damn sense or is anything close to what i want to convey. At this very second, I am content; in all the horror and mishap and confusion, I am glad I have banked so hard in my skepticism to continue to patiently stick around and watch the story unfold. I am grateful that to some of my friends I am just "the guy with the kaleidoscope eye." This is not necessarily a direct apology for my shuffledness, but at the very least an attempt at explanation. I cannot change what the glass distorts, only wait for the colors to shift again. I cherish the lot of you and hope at least you find it as fascinating as I do.

[button-mash]

What I played last week #8

Klona 2 [Playstation 2]

This was such an absolute treat to play. I had heard of the series before, but I'd genuinely never played any of them at all - in fact they'd just totally passed me by really. I think they got remade fairly recently and it suddenly felt like everyone but me had some proper beloved history with the series, so not sure how I totally missed it - especially as I love platformers. Managed to snipe an eBay auction for this for £12 which I was buzzing about considering it rarely goes for less than £30 and often sells in the £50-60 range. 

Playing this it feels like it's the insane centrepoint between SO many games that have come before and since, I'd love to learn more about it and any games that were actively influenced by it, because it felt like it could somehow have come out in any area of platformers and fit in perfectly. At different points it reminded me of Nights, Kirby 64, Crash Brandicoot, Rayman, Mario Galaxy and more, yet somehow always still felt like completely it's own thing too. It's a pretty simple game at it's core - it's a 2.5D platformer where you can jump and hover, but can also grab enemies if you're close enough, either throwing them across the screen as a weapon, or using them to jump off and essentially serve as a double jump. The game actually starts off pretty slowly and at first I thought it was going to be another Kirby - something with loads of personality and character, but ultimately so easy it undermines the whole thing. However, the games levels quickly become more and more complex and constantly alternate between platforming and puzzles sections - by the end it becomes difficult enough where you have to have mastered every technique in the arsenal to progress through the levels, some of which are surprisingly long and complex.

The most amazing thing is how good the game looks, it's just absolutely beautiful - I genuinely couldn't believe it was a PS2 game at times. The occasional blurry texture or jagged edge gave it away, but there is just so much vibrant colour, detail, movement and animation on every level, it just gave the game an insane amount of character and life to each stage, and all of them have such a strong, memorable visual identity. There is even an amazing sense of scale to some of the levels where you'll get shot high into the air and you'll see these massively complex stages just fully modelled out and it just shows how much imagination and craft have gone into each one. There is one level set in a theme park and it just looks incredible. It's seemingly impossible to find any good quality gifs of this that aren't from the remake or haven't been upscaled in PCSX2, but hopefully you get the picture from an art direction perspective

The game isn't without it's flaws - there are some difficulty spikes that come out of nowhere and very strict animation windows sometimes make you feel like you missed grabs or jumps that you made, but it's rare and the platforming usually feels great. It never becomes a real chore of a challenge, but the levels become difficult enough where you feel genuinely accomplished getting through them, especially the last few levels. The bosses are also great mechanically, although they start to feel a little similar by the end. 

Normally if you play a retro game without the nostalgia, there is always this element of wishing you could have played it at the time, simply because it's almost always aged in some way that diminishes the experience at least a tiny bit. Here this just feels like that rare experience where it could have come out yesterday and I think I'd still be banging on about how much I loved it - if I'd unknowlingly played the remakes without knowing they were remakes, I don't know if Id have been able to tell from a design point of view. Im glad I played the original though, honestly one of the best looking, most colourful and lively games I think Ive played on the PS2, all at a crisp 60fps. Looked absolutely phenomenal on the PVM, I wish I could somehow show off how great it looked.

[timechaser]

i let this thought go tonight and it will never see the light of the moon ever again so here goes every thought in my mind abt the poppy war trilogy. mind you, a lot of this is just nonsensical dabble and incoherent babbling bc i cant ever form coherent thoughts but whatever.

id pay big money and wage a thousand wars to go back in time and yank every material object out of my hand and out of my reach to ensure that i never even wondered abt the trilogy's existence. it's not that i regret reading them because they sucked--no, far from it. it's not that i led myself blind and didnt take the extra precautions to make sure that i was in the right mindset to read them. i knew what i was going into, what ch21 was withholding, i knew how graphic and how heavy they would be to read. i retreated to my room and poured a stupid amount of hours staring at a screen, at a bunch of words, and feeling such bizarre emotions.

that being said, i love runin. i love how bold she was and how persistent she was despite having her bones kicked inwards from quite literally every person she has let into her life. i love how she was a proper morally grey character, a heroine led astray and betrayed by her very own thoughts. i love her bc even though she was the anthropomorphic personification of a god, she was still human. at the end of the day, what killed her wasnt a higher being, it was the self. that part of her arc cemented her place in my top list of female book leads. i love rin because she was human through and through, all the sides of it, she was everything. reading her was a tough pill to swallow, but a necessary one because she is proof of how dangerous the mind can be to itself, to how dangerous humanity is to itself. and sometimes id wish i could reach into their world and pull her back to ground bc of her recklessness. i love and hate rin at the same time, never one more than the other.

i love kitay even more. never once have i faulted him, he knew what was best, a moral compass for readers really. especially after primarily reading from rin's violent and often irrational perspective, it was relieving to have a voice of reason. theres not much i can say abt him other than the fact that he is my favourite out of the trio, id see it through no matter what. yes i wish he'd said no to bonding himself to rin, to put himself on a compromise, but at the same time i'm glad that he did. kept rin grounded, gave her a sense of purpose other than vengeance, instilled her a sense of duty and obligation--to survive, not only for herself but for him as well. will always defend him no matter what, this boy is clean and he is faultless.

nezha nezha nezha. i tried for three books (and tdf) to like him, truly, but even after all those pages i still dont know how to feel about him. he was insufferable in the first book, honourable for most of the second, and downright pathetic in the third. but if i say that i hate nezha then id have to say that i hate rin as well. they were both children of war, born under humiliating circumstances and forced to take the wager of compromise, they share the same faults. its not fair of me to defend one and leave the other open, they forced the ugliness out of each other. they were tragic. i saw his betrayal from kilometres away, but anticipation did not make forgiveness easier. but i know what it feels like to be brought up as a pawn for ur own family's benefit, to be subjected to so much responsibility when you barely know the world and its wonders, feels like a push to the edge. i cant blame him for that.

in short, im devastated. ive had my tears ricochet on loop since i started the first book. i am but a hollow shell of the person i was before this book. it has altered my life (/hj) and i cant go a minute of my day without thinking abt it. it's incredibly tragic, it's flawed in its own ways but it is also three incredible pieces of literature. rfk did well, im glad i read it while at the same time hate myself for reading the entirety of the trilogy in the span of 36hrs. i dont think its once u can read almost immediately, u need to pace yourself. 5 golden stars from me nonetheless.

[tokyokookmin]

I really loved your explanation regarding vmin it was retable. kanmom51 anon, Im using a little of your ask for @tokyokookmin to explain and narrate a lil about JIMIN shes a JM biased too so I felt that it would be appropriate to ask her.

"Because it’s no secret that JM doesn’t get any praise from the company, the choreographer, and all."

"When it comes to the members it’s a different topic. They hype Jimin up. We have J-Hope constantly praising JM. Jk completely in awe with JM dance. Jin thanking him for helping him rehearse."

"So for me Bighit for some reason doesn’t do anything for JM, no credit in his work, no acknowledgement, nothing."

I felt that every single word that this anon has said is pure truth and this remark deserves much more attention. We all know what's currently going on with JM, the situation is really bad and its getting worse, toxic solo stans are bashing him and they are comparing him to other members from every perspective + even the hate that he's getting bcuz of him "annoying jk" in that memories 2020.

I need you to explain on how a wonderful person JM is. Your impact makes a huge difference on people mindset. tysm keshhh.

Hey there anon!, I deeply understand your emotions. The hate that JM is going through is really bad and I have personally reported those accounts on twt etc. I even took a few snapshots of a tiktok video comment section... I will surely share them some day or another. Well then lets get started! I can't compare J-HOPE TO JM because they are my biases and both of them captivated my eyes, I just can't resist their flawless moves and they make a great dance unit... it would be incomplete without one of them + JK lol.

Most armies would say that JK is the golden maknae or he's the best overall in the team, well y'all took JM for granted, he's capable of doing so many things as well. But before that we need to talk about his dancing skills, I have made one blog about the 3J. Here's the link if you would like to know about their achievements/viral moments https://tokyokookmin.tumblr.com/post/654670945252933632/a-guide-to-the-dance-line..... this blog was mostly just me collecting info's lmao-.

1. DANCE ☝️

Well I found this incredible video from tiktok and I thought that this video would be perfect to describe his contemporary skills. Utmost respect to the creator for creating such a masterpiece!

Jimin Van Fleet Award!

Do we really need to talk about this? We all knew what impact he had given to audience with his remarkable traditional korean fan dance.He is extremely talented, after all he trained in contemporary.

“I received many really big awards today. I sincerely appreciate it, and it was a day when I thought I would like to share it with you with better music and stage in the future. Thank you all for your support. #JIMIN# We have been unclear” #JiminWorldwideLoved 📷📷📷📷

"As emphasized by the ballet dancer, being lifted is not easy, just like in the case of Jimin in the said stage. A strong core, glutes, and chest are vital for the one being lifted." https://youtu.be/3RW91KT3bXw - another review from a japanese dancer.

He is extremely versatile and he can master any sort of genre.He excels in dancing,his moves and fluidity of his body is astonishing they way he moves every tissue in his body to perfectly to complete the cheoreo is just mind blowing, he is truly the embodiment of dancing! Believe me or not, you should pay more attention on his facial expressions... he keeps it graceful. His fingers and angle are on point.

From MAMA 2016 Lie meets Boy meets evil to MMA 2020 black swan 🦢..I wonder what's coming up next.

2. Loving member

Jimin is the member that I connect emotionally to, he's a sentimental person but he just doesn't show it you just have to pay attention on his behaviour and actions. He consoles many of the members and he provides comfort for them. The picture I attached below sets a great example.

1. BTS MAMA 2018... It was a tough year for them. They were close to disbanding, and the members were emotionally drained. My heart sank when I saw hobi breaking down in front of the crowd, you can find tons of fancams but you should take a close look at Jimin. He handled the situation very well and I love the way he gives his subtle touch of love towards the other members.

2. Taehyung grandma death announcement

I don't think that I need to explain the about the situation. Taehyung was really sad and felt guilty as he couldn't mention his grandma name. He broke down and Jimin immediately noticed him and ran towards him and just gave him little pat/huggie.

3. The Final

Even by looking at the picture you can see the comfort. You know that GCF-TOKYO song “there for you’ which implies that Jk means he will be there for jimin but "you gotta be there for me too” which means jimin gotta be there for him too. So yeah, JM just know jungkook well and he comforts Jk pretty well.It was so cute and i wished i was a part of the audience, i would have had a panic attack looking at them being so cute,fluff,intimate ON STAGE . Too bad it’s impossible now .

3.He's a badass [ athletic/ physical ]

Jimin has often talked about his experience in kendo,japanese fencing,Geomdo (검도, 劍道) “Way of the Sword” & hapkido. HAPKIDO: electid korean martial arts .It is a form of self-defense that employs joint locks, grappling, throwing techniques, kicks, punches, and other striking attacks.

https://youtu.be/oUcHghZQxiw - a video you may refer to.

.4.Academic excellence

After Namjoon Jimin has the most remarkable academic achievements in bts. He was one of the top students in junior high and was THE top student in Busan arts high school from ALL the departments. Fun fact Jimin IQ is 128! He was valedictorian too.

"When he was in junior high, he was one of the top students so Jimin's dad thought of enrolling him in a foreign language school. When he decided to go to an arts school, his teachers tried to stop him and were disappointed. He was accepted as the top of his class and attended Busan High School of Arts. He was doing really good. Then he switched to K-pop dancing and decided to be a trainee in Seoul. Teachers also tried to stop him and were disappointed. Park Jimin's life is really something.

36. Our Jimin didn't spend a lot of time preparing for the arts school. He was dancing popping when he decided to go to the arts school. He then learned modern dancing for a little over a year and was accepted at Busan High School of Arts as the top of his class even though he was a dance majorπ TT TT Every member in this group could've been successful at anything. That group is our pride, BTS.

60. Wow! If there's only one dance class, it's really incredible~ It's hard to get a top student from dance department. And it was achieved by a male student and it's Park Jimin TTTT

67. That's what I know too.. I was looking into Busan Arts School before and one class for dance is probably correct. It was mostly music and art classes that I remember. So from Busan Arts School, one out of ten classes and a male student from dance department getting accepted as the top of the class...the percentage is just incredible. I know that the dance class has about 40 students? And male students could be 25:15 or 30:10. Jimin broke through this and became the top.

Namjoon and Jimin really made a huge gamble. They could've went the easier way. Truthfully, if they went their way, they both would have succeeded. But becoming an idol and not knowing what their future will be and BTS not being successful from the beginning must have been really hard for them. But now I'm glad they're successful and they can realize they've made the right choice."

cr @artimitatesjimin

I really respect and idolize him. His personality is unique and its different.He's been through alot. Being kicked from BTS for 8+ times, the members ranking his looks as the last and being called fat and ugly, that's really disturbing. He starved and went on diets just to please the audience and to have a jawline. He works his ass of and he really deserves more. He's obviously cutie,sexy,lovely,sweet guy! He prioritize his career, family and fans before anything. He has absolute heavenly vocals (+crazyyy high notes) and he is the definition of stage presence. PARK JIMIN IS THE STANDARD. Solo toxic fans are definitely going to attack on me but this is the reality.Jimin deserves more and he's such a sweet person. He performs with his whole heart and expresses it wonderfully,he goes all out and each performance comes out from his soul. He loves to perform. I MEAN FOR THE LOOKS, JIMIN IS THE FIRST FOR JUNGKOOK~.

He once even wasn't able to attend THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW due to his sore muscles.

He went through alot and he deserves the #1 in brand reputation, who doesn't admire his determination?

Each member is unique in their own way. I want no hate or malice on my platform ~

Bits and pieces I collected anon! love ya ~ stay safe.

[aurora-daily]

AURORA’s Reddit Q&A (July 13th 2021)

Kmilalv: Hello aurora we love you, I'm @ aurora.s_love on instagram ✨✨🥰🥰🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️ Aurora: oh hellooo!!!! Exportmusic: Meep Aurora: meep < 3 Lisxnne: WELL HELLO AND THANKS FOR YOUR NEW SONG! 🙏🌟💕 Aurora: HELLO!! and thank you for being open to it 24681357900: Thank u for making music Aurora: thank you for inviting it into your heart Emergency-Club-7529: This is have some upper case , it's the real Aurora Aurora: yes!!! Helloooooo brunamombach: hello ✨🃏🧚🏻‍♂️🤘🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️ when are you coming do Brazil? so glad to see you here!!! Aurora: I think I will be coming to Brazil next year  I love being in Brazil because I feel like it awakens my heart and soul to be there !! Brunamombach: if you were going to an souless island, what book would you bring with you? 🧚🏻‍♂️🍇🍄🧚🏻‍♀️🤘🃏 kisses from Brazil Aurora: I would either take: "The name of the wind" and "a Wise mans fear" or the LOTR trilogy. Or the "Mistborn" trilogy. or "warbreaker" or "the good omens" or "the ocean at the end of the lane" or "Anne of Green gables" or "The alchemist" or just all the books in the world oh no I cant decide

all DanParis: Hey have some karma you cool bean 🤌🏼 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Aurora: thank you < 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Tell us something you can tell us about the second track on the Cure For Me vinyl, “Potion For Love”. I'm very curious...

Aurora: its the song I decided for the B-side of the vinyl, and I will probably release it digitally one day too. Its the sister song to "exist for love" but from the other perspective. where love does not fill you up, but love has left a big hole within you < / 3 Ok-Estimate8468: Did you get a lot of unfollows and hate from bad people due to Cure For Me? Aurora: I got a little hate from homophobes, and also abelist, and racist comments from people claiming there was nothing wrong with their mindset. BUT it does not bother me. and I will never stop speaking up about the things I find important. because.. what else would our meaning on this earth be? if that makes sense. Some people have attacked me personally, but sadly mostly its people defending their own hateful ways of being. I cant even imagine how it really is to be a victim of racism or violent homophobia, so I feel like the least I can do is to try the best I can to show support. and speak up. and be an ally.

So a bit more short - yes, and I really dont mind!!!! unfollow me if you find speaking about equality and the right to live, and love and be loved unsettling <3 thank you for this question! Ok-Estimate8468: How was the process of creating the studio version of Cure For Me? I heard your first acoustic performance and saw that it's much smoother than the studio, so I was curious to see how you managed to create another even more amazing version. Aurora: Me and Magnus just played around, and we really tried to go with our emotions, and to be playful and to not think too much about what was "AURORA" or what was even...pretty! we just laughed! and danced! and did what felt lovely to us.

I think this is why the making of this song is one of my favourite memories, and also I think that is why it sounds so playful! because it is!! it was like playing a game. and I did also play alot around with symbolics in both the lyrics and the way this song is produced. it all has a meaning you see... but of course I will let you figure that out yourself!!

Pingouiin_: What's your favourite mountain around bergen ? Aurora: mine is Løvstakken!! and Magnus loves Ullrikken!! but important to NEVER stop a Norwegian person walking on the mountain. just say. a quick hello and wander off your own mind. become at one with nature Whoamiandallthat: Thank you for existing, I love your art and you inspire me so much 💙 You are one of my favorite artists 😊 And just the other day I found out that you are just two years older than me, and so successful... I'm wondering how it was for you to become so popular, did you feel like people thought you needed a cure? I'm also in the sphere of arts - filmmaking; but I feel like my films are not good enough... I have a YouTube channel with some videos - if you ever see this comment I would like for you to check it out 😊 Aurora: Ive felt through my life like something was a little off, ive never resonated that much with the people or the "system" around me! it didn't bother me so much even though I. was teased a lot for it ( so again I was very lucky) but I never felt like I understood the world and my place in it. or how I. could fit in, in this worlds society and with other people ! and becoming "famous" which I dont really feel that I am, but I guess that I am a little "known" (meep) was very strange, and very hard to handle at first. as impressions affect me a lot, and noises and people etc. but with time I got better at handling all these impressions, and avoid getting a.. sensory overload! and I am so happy now, that I can look directly at strangers and actually listen to them, and understand them, and even love them I guess what I am trying to say, that ive now understood that this is the very thing that connected me to all of you. and now I see my place here on this earth. and I see all of you, and you give my life so much meaning!! Lets_Fight_Dragons: Firstly I wanted to say I recently discovered your music and I love everything about it. I have two questions, I hope that’s ok 1. How do you start writing songs because I’m trying to get into songwriting and I’m not sure how you write such amazing songs 2. What’s your favourite song you’ve released? Aurora: 1. well I dont really know. ( I am sorry!!) but I feel like it started really natural for me.. I. kind of just sat down with my piano.. and then I started playing around with the Keyes, and I figured out I could make an endless amount of melodies by simply pressing the keys in a different order!! remember finding this extremely magical (I was around 6 years old then) and after a while I started adding lyrics, and I just spent time looking into myself, trying to figure out. - what do I want to say? what do. I need to hear in a song? what do the world need to hear in a song? and etc. I always think about songwriting as storytelling. and I always start out by figuring out what story I want to tell, what matter I want to dress, or what pleases me, or annoys me with the world, or what emotion I need help dealing with!! and then I write a song!!! and if you feel like its difficult to come up with melodies, I would recommend finding a song you like, and learn the chords of it (or find an instrumental version. online) and then you make your own melodies on top of that! many of the songs of the world share the same chords, and often the melodies on top is the thing separating them. music belongs to all of us, and its clear that every song in the world comes from the same magical source. 2. I think its the seed. or couples creatures!! or infections of a different kind!! tiffnoir: Our dear AURORA, your b-side A Potion For Love is helping me a lot (broken heart since a few days ago). I wanted to ask (if I can haha) if would it be included at the upcoming album, or maybe a relaxing, vintage video for it? Thanks for helping all of us with your music ^_^ Aurora: thank you som much for letting this song into your heart  after writing exist for love, I figured that I should also make a sister-song that could belong for the ones with a broken heart as well  it will not be on the album, but for you I will try to put it on the deluxe version FedahpWithThisWurld: Hello, Aurora! I'm a neurodivergent person and I have always felt a lot of shame over being the way I am, like I'm not good enough. Your music makes me feel better and it makes me feel that being me is okay. Thank you for that.  I want to know how you manage to be so confident? Do you ever get nervous before a show? Aurora: hello!!!! I have had a lot of similar experiences with myself in this world too.. so I am very sad to hear you've lived your life with this feeling I think after a while I understood what makes me different also makes me special. and special is good. and if you think about it, special isn't even that different, because in one way or another we are all... unique. but of course, some people have had to fight their. way through life more than others.. making it less easy to learn how to love yourself. and accept yourself. I guess, now I've surrounded myself with good people who understand my quirks and sensitivities, people who give me time. and space to be me. I have also been lucky, because I have a family that have always encouraged me to be myself. and to love myself. and I guess that is why I am trying to convey to all of you now, because now we are like al little family. where being who you are - is cool. and you're cool. and were all cool. and I get nervous all the time, of all sorts of things! but I just accept that feeling as a part of being human. its uncomfortable yes, but I know at least it won't kill me! 3charmplease: What was it like recording for Frozen? Aurora: it was magical  and also slightly scary. but it felt safe and good calling at the mountains. and I feel warm thinking about it. especially now. cause my father just walked over to me with five little strawberries in his hand. he gave them all to me. and they were so small, and sweet. im currently sitting in my childhood home, right next to the very piano where I wrote "runaway" and so many other songs. Tiny-Sink-2397: Boom shake shake shake the room Aurora: that was actually during the recording process of Cure For Me! Tiny-Sink-2397: I thought it was!! Seemed like an epic party Aurora: YES Joelynxyzs: what's your favorite movie ? Aurora: Practical magic BUT ALSO THESE: The LOTR triology ALL GHIBLI MOVIES avatar once upon a time in Hollywood Hannah the perfume fantastic MR. fox Star Wars: a new hope rouge one isle of dogs the hunchback of Notre dame! the arrival stypop: If you were to get the chance to work on a sequel to another Disney movie, which one would you want it to be? Aurora: since Disney owns Lucas films I would love to be a part of the Star Wars universe  or to play either a magical fairy, witch mermaid, forest nymph, or a scary beast!! WE WO brisot: The masks in CFM remind me of theater plays, do you ever watch any and how much of an influence for you is the art of acting? Aurora: this era of my life is very influenced by the ancient times where theatre was all they had. no CGI or special effects etc. and I really wanted all these videos to feel very authentic, and down to earth! The shell in "exist for love" was handmade by someone, and I painted all the masks in "cure for me" myself! so I like it when it feels... human Clear-Champion-1833: i love you Aurora:

<3

Jicuhrabbitkim: How do you like your fried eggs cook!! I like it when its very crispy!! Aurora: as long as its from a local farm that has free healthy chickens that walk about freely and eat good food I like my eggs crispy too. GhostReaper3: Hi I have a question as well: How do you keep positive? Many people including myself find this difficult sometimes so it would be good to hear your technique or way of keeping upbeat and positive! Also, thank you for sharing your music with us! Aurora: I know what you mean, i've struggled with it myself at times. but I guess I tried separating in my mind what I can do something about, and what I cant? if that makes sense?? we are all just here on this planet. and though we all seem to be going though the same things we still feel so alone, in our thoughts and in our minds. And I've been very aware that with music, and with this fandom we can all finally connect, and see each other, and know that we are not alone! and if there is one thing I love, it is to dance a little after I've cried. I think its important to. shake these emotions out of our body. like animals do! and then I made CURE FOR ME. because I thought about all the warriors out there feeling. a little crazy... after isolation! or after being depressed! and being l rocked in with their families that might not accept them for who they are.. and I thought I needed to make a song for us all, that felt a little uplifting. and uniting. just so we know where not alone, and just so we know that we are worthy.. of everything! and that we are worthy of celebrating ourselves!! ALWAYS! aniri003: Were the dancers freestyling in the last part of the video Aurora: YES! I told them to put their freak game on. And they were amazing. L_pls_use_revive: Hei Aurora! Apart from inspiring me with your music for emotional people, I also dicovered my love for Norway and the Norwegian language through you - now studying it in my second year at university. Tusen, tusen takk! I want to visit soon when traveling is safe - So which place should I not miss out on? Have a great life! Aurora: I think the whole of Norway is worth visiting! there are so many beautiful places. and beautiful people! I would ofc. recommend Bergen! (haha!) but also places like Tromsø, Trondheim, Stavanger, lofted and The Geirangerfjord and the Northwest!!! HAHA KakSetoKaiba: How's the progress of the album that you've been preparing which will be released after your death? Aurora: its going well, I take one song for every chapter and I put it on my death album instead of the album I'm making  its going well. and im excited about it! maria_fernandez_: This is not a question but I just wanted to tell you that discovering you and your music has been the best thing that ever happened to me. What your music makes me feel cannot be described in words. I love you so much. Greetings from Spain!! Aurora: thank you!!! applepieaurora: Whats your favorite pie? 🐉 Aurora: apple pie  and blueberry pie!! Ok-Potato7244: Thanks for sharing your time ... a warrior here to welcome you...Have some tea...And i don't need a cure for disliking keeping animals in cages...Especially birds...💚... Aurora: thank you pekaraseva: what do you feel when you perform Ioadk or Adkoh for people? Aurora: I feel so full of emotion and love and despair I could almost explode  and its wonderful. I also feel insanely connected to the audience when I sing these songs.. I. think. its because they are such important pieces of my soul targaryenblood02: omg what do you think cure for me would smell like? 🐛 Aurora: like something Brazilian! like Asai! or caipirinha! or Brigadeiro!

sproutingephemeral: Hello Aurora, Thanks for your new song, I've gotten quite addicted to it😊 I have a question that might be a bit difficult to answer. I am a Warrior from the U.S. currently without a clue of where I should be and what I should be doing. I'm done with school, and in the process of moving to a new town with my parents. I'm applying for jobs, but I feel like I can't find my reason for being in a smaller area with not many people my age. I feel like my parents are trying to mold me into a certain person, which doesn't feel authentic to me. I probably should be making more of my own decisions at my age, but I'm a bit scared and confused, if what I think is deemed too unrealistic or out of line with their expectations for me (like a childhood dream?). I tried talking to them about it, to little success. Is there something inherently wrong with me? Or am I just being spoiled or lazy? I read about how you were initially opposed to starting your career until your mother convinced you to change your mind. How do you know whether or not to trust in your parents' plans for you? On a lighter note, do you prefer cookies that are more soft (chewy) or hard (crumbly)? I don't need a cure for...my autism, and tendency to talk regularly to my deceased cat at his grave (??)😿👼 Looking forward to seeing you in New York! Take care❤❤ Aurora: you should ALWAYS. only do what feels right for you. this world is very absurd, and people tend to think they know what is meaningful and what is important. but we all know, money and success isn't important beyond what you need to simply survive. this one life is yours. and you should be just who you want. and do what feels right for you. because its yours. its only yours. drink tea. work hard. be lazy. dance. be shy. laugh, cry. drink wine and eat good bread. be good. fight for something you care about. and either live for your work, or work a little and then just... live. get a garden, grow tomatoes, get a cat. or a dog. or a parrot. life can be so random, and it can be both so little, and so large at the same time. some days were meant to TAKE chances, and live. and sometimes were just meant to exist. and do nothing. you should never feel guilty for not "being enough" because you are enough. just who you are. just how you are. is enough. good luck on your strange journey my warrior, maybe our paths crosses and maybe they dont. but know, when you walk out of your door, that anything can happen! and the whole world is yours. Hippolyte_gray: is the name of the next album hidden in your previous songs ? Aurora: mayyyyyybeeeeeeeee rashadalt: what do you think about your fans who are racist/homophobic etc.? Aurora: I feel sorry for them. because I know I cant be easy l living a life so full of hate. and even spending your precious. time on this world bringing other people down. and I know how easy it is for people to be driven by fear, and how difficult. it can be to have an original meaning and stand up for what you really mean. so I dont judge them, or hate them,

but I do feel sorry for them. and I am also very disappointed in them. because its such a. waste of human potential to live your life in the paths of hatred.

but as long as we face hate with love, we will eventually win. when we show them. we are not the enemy, just people trying to make a better world, I think, and I hope that eventually we can all agree that being able to live, and being able to love is a human right. Brivera726: I noticed you said you would bring LOTR trilogy with you to an island- I’m reading them for the fourth time right now  I feel like if Galadriel sing songs it would sound like you! Anyway I really like your art so yah just keep doing u- love from PFC Rivera, USMC Aurora: this is then est thing ive ever read thank you Aurora: I am. sorry people, but my time here (for tonight) is up </3 but I will probably be back looking at your questions and thoughts because I did really. enjoy this. and I. love you all so. much.

[link]

[oikawaplssteponme]

The Apartment: part 1

pairing: Kuroo Tetsurou x fem! reader

rating/warnings: swearing

synopsis: You knew that living with your three best friends, Kuroo, Oikawa, and Bokuto, would be a wild ride. It’s never a dull moment with those three. Let’s just hope you can keep your huge crush on Kuroo a secret when he is only a room away.

a/n: AHH HIII💓omg im so excited to be writing a new fic!! this fic is gonna be different style than my last one but i hope you guys like it!! honestly, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa is the trio we all needed but never got. so enjoy my take on it ;) also there will be a new taglist for this fic so just lmk if you would like to be added! as always, requests and asks are open! okay enough from me, enjoy xx

•

One: Britney Spears poster

“Hey Y/N, can you grab this last box?” asked Bokuto. You nodded, picking up the box labeled ‘kitchen’ from the back of Bokuto’s car. Today was move-in day for your first off-campus apartment. You were beyond excited to start living with your 3 best friends: Bokuto, Kuroo, and Oikawa. From an outside perspective, your friend group would look chaotic and dysfunctional, and it was, but you wouldn’t trade those 3 idiots for anything.

“Okay that’s the last of it,” you said as you carried the box towards the elevator. You rode up with Bokuto and entered your apartment. Brown boxes covered the floor, music blaring from room to room.

“Oikawa turn it down or else we are gonna get a notice on the first damn day!” yelled Kuroo. You laughed as you heard Oikawa shuffle towards the speaker to lower the volume.

“Okay guys, everyone grab the boxes for their rooms so we can start putting shit away,” you ordered. The 3 stooges stood in front of you.

“Yes ma’am,” they called back, giving you a sarcastic salute. You rolled your eyes and grabbed your first box.

Living with your 3 best friends was something you never really thought would happen. You all had joked about it when you were kids but to have it became a reality was another story. You all grew up together so there was no surprise to how close you all were. You may have all gone to different high schools so college seemed like the perfect way to reconnect.

You and Oikawa shared a room while Kuroo and Bokuto shared the other. You and Oikawa had been glued to the hip since birth. You didn’t have many close ‘girl’ friends so Tooru was the next best thing.

“Jeez how many pairs of tiny sunglasses do you have?” you asked, looking down at the arrangement of color coded sunglasses.

“Well Iwachan got me them so I cherish them,” he explained. You laughed and continued to unpack your things.

Hours passed and your room was finally up to your standards. You went for something simple yet still your style. Kuroo and Bokuto had moved on to organizing the living room.

“OIKAWA!” yelled Kuroo. Oikawa jumped, giving you the ‘oh shit I’m screwed’ look.

“How many times do I have to tell you that the Britney Spears poster does NOT belong in the kitchen?” Kuroo clenched Oikawa’s Britney poster, almost to the point of ripping it.

“Oh so now you don’t like Britney but on the whole car ride here you were singing along-“

“OKAY we don’t need to talk about that,” interrupted Kuroo.

“She’s better than your stupid Periodic Table posters...” mumbled Oikawa. You tried to hold back your laughter.

“Hey you take that back! The Periodic Table of seasonings fits perfectly with the kitchen!” barked Kuroo. Oikawa rolled his eyes, snatching the poster from Kuroo’s hands.

“God you are such a nerd,”

“And you are such a tw-”

“DON’T YOU SAY IT!” Oikawa gave Kuroo the death stare. Their playful bickering was your favorite form of entertainment.

“Sorry sorry...twink” Kuroo ran out of the room and Oikawa was now chasing him.

“GOD DAMN IT KUROO!”

You bursted out laughing as you heard a crash on the floor, assuming that Oikawa was now jumping on Kuroo. Bokuto stood at the doorway of your room with a confused look.

“What happened?”

~

The four of you continued to organize your apartment until nightfall. Once everything was put into place, the boys crashed on the couch and turned on the TV.

“Should I pick up a pizza?” You asked.

“Is that even a question?” joked Bokuto.

“One cheese and one meat-lover?”

The boys nodded enthusiastically. You made the phone call and went to sit on the empty loveseat.

“It’s gonna be about 15 minutes,” you explained. The boys gave you a thumbs up.

“Guys we did it, we’re actually living together,” gushed Oikawa.

“Don’t go and get soft on me now Shitty-kawa,” you laughed. Oikawa turned to you and groaned.

“Y/N you ruin everything damn it. I’m trying to be a good, sentimental friend, and you just-“ you interrupt Oikawa by moving to the couch and jumping on him.

“JESUS Y/N I’M FRAGILE!” He complained as you sat on his lap.

“And you wonder why you’re a piece of shit,” you gave him a sarcastic hug. “But seriously, I’m so happy to be living with you morons. We’ve been dreaming about this forever.”

“Yeah, crazy to think we actually did it,” smiled Kuroo.

“I LOVE YOU GUYS!” yelled Bokuto. You laughed.

“Bring it in guys,” you pulled Kuroo and Bokuto towards you and Oikawa for a tight hug.

“Oh so when Bokuto gets sentimental it’s totally fine...”

“Shut up Shitty-kawa and enjoy the hug.”

~

“Who is coming with me to pick up the pizza?” you asked. Oikawa was asleep on the couch and Bokuto was very invested in the episode of ‘Gilmore Girls’ that was playing.

“I’ll go,” said Kuroo.

“Okay come on then. We’re taking your car,” you snagged Kuroo’s car keys off the counter and ran out the door.

“Y/N-chan there is no way I’m letting you drive my car!” you heard him yell from inside the apartment. You quickly pressed the elevator button and jumped inside. Kuroo’s voice trailed off as the elevator moved down to the first floor. You exited the elevator and thought you had gotten away with driving Kuroo’s car.

“Not so fast Y/N-chan!” Kuroo snuck up behind you, picked you up, and tossed you over his shoulder. He took the keys from your hand and carried you towards the car.

“Tetsurou put me down!” you begged. Kuroo set you down in front of the passenger door.

“If you wanted to win you should have taken the stairs. And I’m driving silly,” he smirked. You rolled your eyes before getting in the car.

You and Kuroo drove until arriving at the pizza place. You waited in the car while he went inside to pay. For some reason, you felt nervous about being alone with Kuroo. You’d been alone with him a million times before, so why was this time any different? Of course, it had nothing to do with the grey sweatpants he was wearing. Or the fact that he drives a stick shift car and his veins popped every time he would shift gears. Or because you have had a crush on him since you were 6-years old. No, that had nothing to do with it.

Kuroo came back, opened the car door, and handed you the pizzas to hold onto. You rested them on your lap as the two of you drove back.

“I’m glad we’re are finally living together,” said Kuroo. You looked at him, the butterflies coming back in your stomach. “All of us I mean of course,” he clarified.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be super fun. Hopefully, we all survive,” you joked. Kuroo chuckled.

“It’ll be fine Y/N-chan,” Kuroo smiled, giving you a pat on the head.

~

When the two of you got back to the apartment, Oikawa had woken up.

“We are watching ‘Mean Girls’!” argued Oikawa. He was practically climbing on Bokuto for the remote.

“We watched ‘Mean Girls’ last time! I wanna watch ‘Unsolved Mysteries’!” said Bokuto. You couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“Everytime we watch ‘Unsolved Mysteries’ you end up calling Akaashi because you get scared!”

“Pizzas here,” you announced. All fighting ceased the minute you said those magic words. You grabbed some paper plates and napkins and watched as each of the boys piled pizza onto their plates. You grabbed yourself two pieces of cheese pizza and went to sit on the loveseat. Kuroo sat next to you while Bokuto and Oikawa sat on the couch.

“I’m picking what we watch,” said Kuroo. He turned on a volleyball game and of course, there were no complaints.

After stuffing all your bellies with pizza, the four of you decided to head to bed. You said goodnight to Bokuto and Kuroo and were now nestled in your bed. Oikawa laid on his bed.

“How was picking up the pizza with Kuroo?” asked Oikawa. You rolled your eyes.

“It was good,” you muttered. Oikawa laughed.

“Still not over that crush yet are you?” he teased. You groaned. Oikawa was the only one who knew about your crush on Kuroo. You let it slip during one of your all-night sleepovers you two would have when you were kids.

“So what if I’m not, it doesn’t matter anyway.”

“You know that if you had just told him during high school, you two could be dating by now.”

You sighed.

“I don’t know. I don’t wanna ruin our friendship and he probably doesn’t even like me. I see no good outcome of him knowing,” you explained.

“You’ll never know unless you tell him.” As much as you hated to admit it, Oikawa was right. There was always the 1% chance that Kuroo would like you back. But, the friendship you two had didn’t seem worth risking. You just hoped that living together wouldn’t stir your feelings out of proportion.

[taglist OPEN: @vangoghmusings @vangoghpoets @lilnuances]

[liquidstar]

I love re:zero so please feel comfortable sharing your thoughts because even if no one else does I sure as hell will enjoy them

oh i genuinely love it too i think its fun (in terms of the story from an outside perspective, not what happens in it, subaru is very clearly not having a fun time) i like the characters and the themes a lot, my personal favorite is the whole theme of "perception of the self through the other" which is like so prevalent in it (but really laid on thick in arc 6 and gluttony:if). and im the type of person that LOVES series and characters i can analyze into bits, i honestly could write an entire novel on that shit. that and part of my enjoyment of it probably does come from a bias of having enjoyed it with my brother tho bc it was fun watching it w him

its a weird show to talk abt tho bc of the association it has with all those weird nerdboys who completely missed the fact that the series is a critique of them because they were too busy jerking off to rem :/ like omg i like the show a lot but i hope to god no one lumps me in with that bunch bc of it 😭 not that i dont think the series doesnt have its fair share of flaws in that regard either, i still am critical of it and all that. and i can totally understand why some people would not have the tolerance for certain stuff in it, both in terms of its issues and its more gruesome moments, so its not a series i recomend to everyone.

still i legitimately love all the characters in it a lot and i think theyre what i enjoy about it the most. the entire emilia camp (save for rosewal. he knows what he did.) just owns my heart honestly. like, i cant even tell you for certain which my favorite is because i love them all. even garfiel who i thought was annoying at first (but then we find out hes actually an 8th grader so everything about him makes sense in retrospect). or ram who i think is totally underrated compared to rem like they both rock equally. and emilia after her character development in arc 4 and frozen bonds, she didnt shine a lot in season 1 but season 2 literally gave her like 90 minutes straight of backstory and development and now i completely understand subaru's willingness to throw away his life for her, i would too.

even subaru whos meant to be unlikable at first totally won me over, because he legitimately grew as a person. and i think the fact that we got his backstory in arc 4 was the PERFECT timing for it, because if we got it at the beginning it would have either been seen as an excuse to justify his behavior (which thankfully the series paints as explicitly in the wrong) or wouldnt hit as hard because youre not meant to like him. but after seeing him cry with his mom and dad youre just like wow hes literally just a kid, like, hes only 17. the trial is absolutely what finally got me to be a subaru fan lol. even before that there were things i liked abt him tho like how he cared about the village kids and how he was able to see rem's individuality. he was never a bad person at heart he just had some of that good ol fashion toxic masculinity early on and im glad he got over it and learned to not see people (esp women) as characters... now if only the nerdboys watching would do that too.

[wavesmp3]

directors cut: oasis

[doing this entirely for myself, out of pure self indulgence lol] [this will be very messy/poorly organized and there will be spoilers]

okay so where to even begin omg..... we will start with the origins of oasis:

its actually, techinically a spin off of the world from this drabble with dino from svt. which the world in this drabble is what the world from oasis would look like very far in the future. but i changed a lot between writing that drabble and creating oasis. but there should be a scene in the drabble that is very similar to a part in oasis (hint: the first vision they got from saskila was not just a random vision with no meaning.......hehe)

but that drabble (its titled dreamscapes) was inspired by a mix of this post on tumblr about how nuclear waste warning signs sounded very cool and the book that i was reading called the children of blood and bone by tomi adeyemi

and then after i had made that drabble i saw dee’s (@/atbzkingdom’s) post about the time capsule collab, and i had a couple ideas of what i could do for it but i ultimately decided on what would eventually become oasis !! so i guess we really have dee and that collab to thank for this piece lol

now for the timeline of me writing:

so i started outlining this piece in the first couple days of january, and normally outlines take me a while to come up with just because i struggle in coming up with plot, but i knew that my spring semester of classes would be starting soon and that I didn’t have a lot of time so i just sort of grinded an outline out as well several paragraphs of pure worldbuilding. 

and then i started writing

and wow i was Really writing!! at my peak productivity i was easily getting down like 2k a day which for me is insane (for reference, i wrote 1k a day for tsiytt and i struggled my way through that) 

but then life happens classes had begun and my writing for oasis slowly become nothing... 

i really only found the time to work on the piece every other weekend, so i was really nervous that i wouldn’t finish in time (which technically i didn’t cause it was supposed to come out march 1st) but luckily i did

and at some point in february, i had lost so much of my momentum and motivation for this piece that i almost gave up on it. (at this point i was writing the scenes after they find the seat of wisdom destroyed) but again luckily i did not, but i personally can definitely see a decline in the quality of my writing towards the end (i mean maybe its in my head, but its sort of like i can see the loss of love for the wip in my writing at the end of it)

but don’t misunderstand, i still love oasis!! and in all honesty, i’m already considering starting a second draft to it, which is way sooner than i thought i would lol

also when i started writing this piece, i began writing it in the order that it would be read, but then halfway i switched to writing chronologically

anyways, something i learned while writing this piece, is that writing is a marathon. whereas, even with my longer pieces, i always viewed writing as a sprint. so as i start venturing into original works and more lengthy pieces of writing, i think this was a very valuable lesson for me to have learned.

okay now to the good stuff lol: [the first word of the bullet about the next chapter (?) is bolded for some crumbs of an organized commentary]

so this is jumping to the first past bit... but when i first wrote farah i had a very different plan for her character than who she ended up being. i had imagined that she’d be a lot more cold and a tough love sort of person. so that’s who i was writing when she’s first introduced in the flashback, but she very quickly become a much kinder full of love sort of person. but anyways i mention this because whenever i read that first part and the introduction of her character, i’m always a bit taken aback by how like mean here character is to crown then lol

also zoar !!!! its a terrible place, but i love that underground city

i also wrote the first flashback after i had written the scene where crown and chanhee are talking at his place in andhor, so the whole “fearless” connection was done very purposefully here since i knew how it’d be referenced in the next scene. someone mentioned this small connection in their reblog but i cant remember who 

also rashi is my favorite character xD

i personally think how crown and chanhee became friends (the running thing) is so cute 

this first bit of conversation between crown and chanhee when it switches back to the present and chanhee is giving them a tour of andhor is actually quite important to me, in the sense that its the first glimpse of how their actual relationship works and how they act together and just like their dynamic despite the fact that they havent seen each other in so long 

and yeah i think kyu mentioned this and a few others, but i love how awkward it is when chanhee and crown are in his home in andhor, cause one: they havent seen each other in years! but also: anyone else find going to someone’s place for the first time oddly intimate, like wow you’re opening up your home to me and now suddenly idk how to sit or stand or what to do with my arms... maybe just me LMAO

DUDE i struggled so hard with making it so that chanhee knew how impossible this whole mission was going to be without actually revealing that he knows about the mirror. it was so hard for me, hopefully it came out alright though. if anyone is reading this, did the twist(s) come as a shock to you? did you see it coming? or did it feel like it came out of absolutely no where and not in a good way?

yes i did name the desert after the department store kohls .....

i was so excited to explain all the mage types, i had so much fun writing this whole chapter 

fun fact: there was originally another sub group of psyche mages called dream mages who had like powers with dreams and stuff, but it ended up being irrelevant and really underdeveloped so it took it out

if anyone else was raised catholic or is catholic then i’d hope you recognize the names of all the relics.... i stole them from a prayer in the rosary whoops

it took me very long time to figure out exactly how the whole soul for the relic business would work, and idk if im a 100% satisfied with what it is/how it works/how it plays into rashi giving chanhee the locket

the note new gives crown.... the first slice of their friendship blooming, bro i eat that shit up 

this part where crown and rashi are talking after the lesson is actually one of my favorites. (like i said i love rashi, but i just really love her interreacting with crown, i think they have such an interesting dynamic and one that i’ve seen irl a lot between students and teachers, where the student adores the teacher... i’ll get more into this later) but moving on, i like it for a number of reasons. one: it’s the first time we as readers get to see rashi talk outside of her role as lesson master. two: i love crown getting this validation from rashi. it’s not really expanded on a lot, but crown’s magic is definitely a bit of an insecurity for them, in the way that they don’t feel like it belongs to them. but here rashi comes, this person that crown looks up to so much, and telling crown that they’re a bit similar when it comes to having magic. and surprising crown by comforting them. and... idk i just really love this moment for crown.

okay this line: “You call your mom Rashi?” is a lowkey reference to game plan,, if anyone knows what i’m talking about then please come clown me for nearly having the entire movie memorized 

oh, i also find the capital really cool. in my head the capital was always one huge building that contains an entire city but i realized while editing that i never really explained that, so idk if i successfully described the capital as cool as it is to me 

also the five friends part.....CUTE

when chanhee says “i know. i remember.” !!! girl i felt that line with my entire chest. idk why

okay wait this part: “But that knowledge seems to fall flat right now. Because despite everything, curiosity won the war.” i love it so much, its that tiny of sliver of hope that gets me personally

i think this part where crown’s pride is so hurt by no one telling them about chanhee’s healing magic is quite important because its a glimpse of how stubborn and prideful and headstrong of a character they can be 

also this : “ ‘and do you believe everything rashi says’ / without hesitation, you answer, ‘yes, of course’ “ this is another example of how highly crown thinks of rashi while growing up, almost to a fault. to the point where crown thought rashi could do no wrong. which i think is so interesting to think about when contrasted with the fight crown and chanhee have in the jungle where crown is the one discussing how rashi was wrong. i just like how much growth crown has had between all these years. and their opinion / perspective on rashi is one of the largest indicators of that growth. 

I also just really like that paragraph where shadow vs healing is explained... I think chanhee’s magic is so sick

oh also the names thing.... I can’t remember where I got the idea to do that from but im so glad I did. its one of my favorite aspects to this world, and it looks like a lot of other people enjoyed it as well. but apart from the intimacy of it, i love how the use of names affects one’s magic. and that paragraph where they go through all that a mage could do with a name. it gives me chills. just cause.... the possibilities

so many people have mentioned this line.... but I must too, so this part: “magic always comes with a price. this is new’s” ..... crazy

saskila scares me omg

again the first vision they see is not a random scene.... the easter eggs I planted with that mwahaha

yeah that scene where they’re outside the tent discussing who should give their name to saskila..... I love that scene chanhee’s “I don’t have anyone but you” and crown deflecting all that tension with the pinky promise and the saskila calling them lovers.... mwah

this random scene about the hot summer and laying with Farah and new in the gardens is another one of my favorite, it’s just so sweet

but this next scene makes me so sad

like I know what happens and I know that everything turns out okay but I get so scared for crown

yeah just that entire part after Rashi gets to them and when they’re going to the infirmary and before crown passes out... I love that whole part. i think i did an effective job of writing the gravity of that whole moment. cause it makes me a little stunned every time I read it. and I was pretty nervous about not being able to do that scene and that moment justice so I’m glad it turned out like it did

and again this line: magic always comes with a price, and in your case, it comes with several.

okay this part after they jump out of the ship and crown is talking to Chanhee but that other dude is talking too... I hope it’s not too confusing. I really wanted to show through the writing that this was all happening at the same time, but idk it came out well. like in my mind I have such a clear picture of this scene, but I have no clue if I did effective job of showing you guys what I’m seeing through the writing

oh yeah, crowns thing about dual wielding and engulfing the blades in flames.... I find that so cool. they’re so sick for that

yeah also the part where crowns hurt and they give Chanhee their name and they use it.... great moment, but I feel like my writing is a bit lacking here. i just know it could be better.

I think at this point of writing my classes had started, and again the disparity in writing quality is so obvious to me 

but the line where chanhee is describing how it all feels, and it says “chanhee feels golden” was inspired by daylight by taylor swift, theres a line in that song that goes “i used to think love would be burning red, but its golden” and like hello the parallels between that and crown’s fire magic.... something to think about 

so this next part where it’s back to the past and crown is getting in trouble (as crown does) but the part where crown is like asking but not directly asking for rashi’s name.... that part is so crazy to me cause it’s feels so out of place. but it was purposeful. i was trying to show that crown’s growing and that they’re at this weird age where they feel invincible. and also i wanted to put more emphasis on how being royal and the heir to the throne kind of effects the relationships crown has

and the last line of this part when rashi says “never abuse it” it gives me chills whew

the next part ... another part that i had high hopes for in the outlining stages of writing, but when it came to actually writing, this scene totally flopped, i’m gonna try not to dwell on this part too much cause i just know most of my comments will be about how much i don’t like it. but just overall, this scene could have been SO MUCH BETTER !

omg this little interaction: ““Look!” Chanhee deadpans, shooting you a glare. “The match is about to begin.” / “Wish me luck.” /  “I hope you lose.”” i think its so funny and cute

“ Your eyes immediately got to Rashi “ another example of how highly crown regards rashi 

“In Wurltan.” hmmmmmm sus.... *laughs in i love mentioning things that won’t make sense to reader until later*

okay this: “Yes, but not just any mage. I…” your voice trails off, pulling at your fingers and looking anywhere but at him. “I wanted you to know.” i cannot stand these two omg 

okay this part: “Chanhee thinks and overthinks the words spoken between you both. His mind drifts off to last night as well, that moment in the tent where you shared your warmth. He doesn’t even realize he’s staring at you until you give him a funny look. He quickly looks away and wonders if you’re overthinking everything as relentlessly as he is.” this part makes me think about what ina said about how chanhee shows his love by keeping you in his thoughts and YEAH chanhee’s love language in this piece is thinking about you and staring LOL

i hate this next part, not cause i don’t like it or anything it just makes me sad 

but this line: “Like if someone shoved you from behind right now, you wouldn’t push back; you’d let yourself fall straight to the ground.” i actually love that line

also this next entire bit i see SO clearly in mind, i hope i wrote it well enough so that you all saw it clearly too

when chanhee wipes the dirt.... girl i’m wiping my tears 

this line : “We’ll lean on each other.” mini love declaration sighhhhhh

yeah that whole part i love so much 

the seat of wisdom :(((( no!!!!!

so about this line: “He stares at his palms, at all the lies buried under each nail and at all the secrets shoved in every crack. He watches as they all blow up in front of his face.” >> i had like ten different versions of it before i settled on this one lol

okay so the first part of the last past flashback with crown realizing their true feelings... so soft 

news gone, rashis’s dead, :((( it makes me so sad

gosh okay this paragraph..... “I’ve always wondered why the gods blessed me and you the way that they have. They entrusted you with such great power. The only person to be both a healing and shadow mage in centuries. And then,” a tear falls from her eye, “they entrusted you to me.” Chanhee thinks this might be the first time he’s seen Rashi cry. “But now I have reason to believe that this was no accident. I’m beginning to think that the gods have always known it would come to this. And I’m starting,” she falters there, “I’m starting to spite them for it.”  it hurts so bad im sorry 

the first confrontation with harlan took me so long to write, and i’m still not sure if i actually like it, so again i will refrain from commenting lol

but the part where crown screams : “YOU LOST THE MIRROR OF JUSTICE!”  I think i told kyu this but this line makes me laugh because in my head its said the same way bella says: “you nicknamed my daughter after the lochness monster” whenever i see that line i smile lol

honestly this argument scene..... one of my absolute faves,,, everything lina said about it in that reblog just yes!yes!yes!! i can’t even comment about a particular part because all of it i love so much. its another part that leaves me slightly speechless.

but my favorite part of it might be how it ends hehe

these next couple parts were a bit diffucult to write because obviously the air between crown and chanhee is not very light right now so it was just hard to navigate their dynamic at these moments until they apologize but hopefully it turned out alright

i really like this line: “But this moment—with the scent of Harlan’s wine under his nose and the chill of Harlan’s blade against his neck—this moment feels nothing like those. It feels empty.” 

“ Chanhee just stares at you.“ -- staring as a love language exhibit b 

this whole part... chills bro 

“Chanhee exhales because for the first time since this afternoon he looks at your face and sees you.” -- exhibit c ....

okay wait another one of my favorite parts here: the spilled glass metaphor!! again please reference lina’s rb on this because everything said there... could not have said better myself. inspired by this writing advice by ocean vuong and yeah i just think the metaphor speaks for itself, one of my favorite lines (well paragraph) from the entire piece, actually from ALL of my works 

it was so hard to think up all of yumi’s different names, i was struggling

them talking about how farah will be happy to see chanhee...... how do i break it to you crown.....she’s dead...... awkward

red streak q! yesss. also i’m so sorry for killing off farah 

also kyunyu bestiessss

tbh this whole paragraph: “I get this overwhelming burst of honesty. As if what you both speak of is more than just a simple truth, as if it’s a commandant you blindly follow. What’s even odder is that I only feel that burst when you speak of each other.” Q stops walking and turns so that he faces Chanhee directly. “You speak of Crown constantly. And last night, when I met Crown, your title never left from the tip of their tongue. Humans are so simple really. We mention what we love.” Q pauses for a moment, bringing a hand under his chin. “Do you love Crown?” --i wrote it for myself no regrets

oh wait this bit too : “Quietly, Chanhee says, “I know.” / “Have you been watching?” / “I’ve been waiting.” / “For what?” / He meets your eyes. “For you.”” -- sometimes i do things that live rent free in my own mind

okay im so sorry for just quoting myself but this too : “ He sits back slightly. Shocked. Not by his love for you, but rather by how easily love walked into his heart and settled between his lungs “

lol the part where they try fooling q... why are crown and chanhee like this

the running !!!

yeah also every part after that... tears okay

yumi’s magic !!! its so cool to me, i love it so much 

i surprisingly don’t have much to say about the end... i mean i like it, but i just don’t have any comments. the last line tho... good one shawna

okay im done for you sake i hope no one read this lmao 

[nice-kill-tanaka]

Hi! I read all your x readers and love them! I especially loved the Bakugou x Rough and Tough Crush, I was wondering if you do a part 2 of that one? Where the squad are trying to get the two together.

Of course Nony! Glad you liked my self indulgent work 🥰

—————

🌄Bakugo + Rough And Tough Crush: Part 2🌌

Looking for the whole set? Take Part 1 right here!

Summary: The Bakusquad gets a little sick of watching you and Bakugo pine after each other in your own...special ways. So, it was decided to devise a plan to get you two crazy kids together!!

A/N: Me, internally: First request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up, first request, don’t mess it up-

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

💥Katsuki Bakugo💥

Let’s start by looking at your end of the pining stick

When Bakugo started treating you differently (like an equal/rival rather than a hurdle to trample on) your own perspective started to shift

You now knew what it was like to be on Boom Boom Boy’s good side. And if you were being honest? It was fun as hell 🔥🔥

Nothing got under your skin very easily, so you took Bakugo’s aggressive taunts and jeers as petty opportunities to take him up on his challenges

What’s better than a free chance to get stronger??? (Mentally, emotionally, and physically)

It wasn’t very long before you began to find Bakugo’s unwavering passion and drive attractive rather than amusing. You wanted to see more of it, to draw it out, to match it

That wild and determined smirk he used past bared teeth when you bested him would really make you feel some type of way 😳

But Y/N is currently a single-brain-celled bastard in this household

My dude, you don’t even misinterpret your feelings. You're just incapable of giving them a label 😭

You just know that you have warm and fuzzy sensations in your stomach whenever Bakugo is being uniquely himself, which you mistook for indigestion on multiple occasions

Y’all are so freaking dumb it actually hurts 😭😭😭

((^^The Bakusquad’s general consensus on you and Bakugo’s mutual pining))

Which brings us to how the Bakusquad decided to go about bringing you hotheaded lovers together

Kirishima casually suggested that they let you two get together on your own, but was out-voted in favor of putting an end to the infinite frustration that came with watching two people crushing on each other and not doing anything about it

Mina and Jiro thought of the first plan:

They’d have a movie night for everyone in the friend group and Mina would conveniently choose a ✨romance✨ movie. The rest on the squad would think of lame excuses to leave in the middle of the film, leaving only you and Bakugo alone (hopefully on the same couch). If things went well, you two would be together by the end of the movie

Their reasoning was that if the concept of romance was introduced at the right time, you’d both feel more inclined to confess your own feelings 

It seemed feasible enough, so the plan was set into motion

As expected, the moment Mina pulled out the Blue-Ray box, Bakugo started to grumble about how corny the film was gonna be

But, Jiro caught a glimpse of you leaning over and muttering something to Bakugo, out of earshot of everyone else

Immediately, Bakugo began to loosen his shoulders, still not happy about the genre, but more complacent. He slouched into the couch and endured it like an adult

During the movie, especially the more romantic moments, the squad constantly stole glances towards you and Bakugo. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much to look at

Bakugo, in the same position as the beginning, didn’t seem bored, but like he’d rather be doing anything else at the moment. His eyes were glued to the screen in a judgmental stare, but that he dared not say anything to ruin a certain person’s experience

You, however, looked like you were enjoying the movie! However muted your position might have looked. Though you weren’t enjoying it cause it was good. Oh no, you looked like you wanted to ✨a s c e n d✨ into orbit with laughter every ten seconds

For the sake of letting the rest of the Bakusquad enjoy the romance aspect, you limited your actions to biting your fist whenever something hopelessly cringy happened

Any longer than the halfway point, and you would’ve broken down in a fit of hysterical laughter, roasts, and jeers at the screen

Soon enough, the rest of the group made their excuses to leave the room momentarily, disappointed with their results

But, when they came back, something beautiful had occurred 

“Why the hell is she running back to the apartment?? HE CHEATED ON YOU?? KILL ‘IM??”

“SKSKSKS- Okay, but wtf is her FACE?! Is that supposed to be distress?? Freakin’ ahegao faceass.”

Bakugo was deadpan roasting the movie with an amused smirk. While you were coming after it with the gusto of Monoma coming after 1-A, snorting with every comment Bakugo made

Neither of you had even noticed everyone else come into the room

(Apparently, you had told Bakugo earlier that you two can shit on the movie all you wanted once you were alone)

Alright...not exactly the plan. But, possibly a step in the right direction

Sero and Kaminari thought of the next “plan”

I only put quotations, because it’s hardly thought out enough to call it one

It was literally just locking you and Bakugo in a closet 🤡🤡

Don’t worry Sero and Kaminari, I’ll play Taps at your funerals 🎺🎺🎺

You and Bakugo didn’t even have a genuine conversation in the closet...You were too busy yelling various profanities at your friends

“Dude, it’s really FUCKING HOT in here. Let us out while I’m still feeling nice!!”

“I’ll murder you bastards when we get out of here!!! You better start running now.”

Btw, you both ended up making it out of there on your own

You managed to deck the doorknob hard enough to break it off, giving Bakugo enough leeway to blow the door off its hinges

Bakugo took care of Kaminari, while you caught and hogtied Sero with his own tape 

You gave each other congratulatory fist bumps afterwards 😚

Despite the rest of the Bakusquad miserably failing in their schemes, their setups did help develop you and Bakugo’s relationship. Just not as fast as they hoped

You had become a pair that could laugh and fight together. Being each other’s advocate became a source of pride for you both

You were all set to become a romantic couple 

But, what actually brings you together??

Well, it went something like this:

I’m not too sure of the exact details, but I know that you and Bakugo were having an extra intense training session

Things were starting to get a bit sloppy, as your bodies were getting tired, but your morale was just as strong as ever

It could’ve just been a freak accident, or something neither of you saw coming

But, the point is: Either of you could’ve gotten really hurt, had you not been the tough cookies you are

In your perspective, you were oblivious to the danger that you had been in. And if you did know, you didn’t particularly care. You only saw that the person you cared about most in U.A. could’ve gotten hurt

The idea of that happening, and it being your fault (or, not being able to do anything about it) really rubbed you the wrong way. You were mostly angry at yourself

But, you took it out on Bakugo

Because you were the first aggressor, Bakugo responded with what he knew best: Aggression

Yes, he was absolutely mad at himself for putting you in danger. But, what made the feeling worse, was that you refused to acknowledge that you could’ve been injured as well

Your blatant lack of self-preservation pissed him off. Why couldn’t you care about yourself the way he cared about you?!

On the outside looking in, the fighting was far too intense for any peer of yours to try and break it up

Yelling, cursing, but neither of you put your hands on each other (Like you usually did when you play fought)

Strangely enough, I think that’s how you could tell the situation was serious

Finally, your emotions had reached their climax. All caution had gone to the wind at that point

You weren’t even thinking when you yelled the next thing in Bakugo’s face

“DO YOU THINK I’D FUCKING YELL AT YOU IF YOU DIDN’T MEAN THE GODDAMN WORLD TO ME?!”

“WELL FUCK YOU IF YOU THINK THAT YOU’RE ANY LESS IMPORTANT TO ME THAN I AM TO YOU.”

At that moment, you both turned away to storm off before abruptly stopping in your tracks

“What?!” You said in unison, registering what you both had heard and said

You sighed, frustrated at your own stupidity, unclenching your fists and begrudgingly explaining your true feelings to the seething object of your affections

As you spoke, you were realizing just how whipped you were for Bakugo. And how you didn’t know it until you were given the opportunity to blurt it out with pure emotion

Your words weren’t very poetic (You actually sounded very constipated), but what you said was what you felt in its rawest form

Bakugo could hardly think of what to do next. His crush was reciprocated and they confessed first??? Wtf???

His silence made you uncomfortable, and you didn’t feel like blowing up again. You huffed, shoved your hands in your pockets, and turned to stalk away, unsure of what to do next

Before you could completely turn on your heel though, you felt yourself being roughly shoved against a nearby wall

You weren’t even given time to react, because as soon as your back made contact with the wall, a warm, caramel-scented sensation met your lips

The kiss you had just registered didn’t even last two seconds, but the lingering feeling stuck with you as your brain effectively shorted out

“Yo, wh-what was that??”

Bakugo was impossibly red, one hand still on your shoulder, keeping you in place. Even though he refused to make eye contact with you, it was clear that what he had just done was completely intentional

He scoffed, voice barely above a grumble, “Damn dumbass...you didn’t even give me a chance to respond...”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

[🌌 There you go bud! That’s one set of headcanons for the road. Hopefully it lasts for a while, but if it doesn’t, feel free to come back! I’d be thrilled to see you again.🌄] —Reagan

[borathae]

Sibi 💖 it's scream time again for me 🎊

i was practically vibrating with excitement when i saw the notif!!! i honestly wasn't sure if i should just read it or not bcs i didn't want this ride to end :(

AND THIS CHAPTER OH MY LORD I DID NOT EXPECT YOU TO DROP THAT ON US BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING THO BCS

and also, ITS REALLY CALLED "I LOVE YOU" NO END ME ALREADY 😭💕

as much as i was mad at kook last chapter, this one just made me uwu cry. i just wanted to give him a hug poor bby totally deserves that happy ending <3

“I know that our relationship status will be changed once I leave tonight. I’m not stupid.”

this chapter was a sob festa right from the start tho bcs look at that dialogue like cmon pls don't do this :( but also, i loved it

“Taehyung?” you call out again, “Taehyung, I’m home!”

Nobody answers you. Like always the house stays silent.

pls this was really sad and i could relate to this so much in a way.

that little moment with hobi was so cute. it was really endearing to see his perspective on her and it really made me smile 💜

“Father is drunk and angry”, he whispers, voice quivering in fear.

the way my heart froze here

Taehyung was by the sink, sobbing and panting as he was trying his hardest to reach his back. His shirt was thrown to the ground, covered in bloodstains. 

and then i started sobbing here, literally.

this part really hurt, like really. to see him become so weak, scared and vulnerable as he cried and yet, tried to decline her help was heartbreaking. it showed how he was raised to act like a "man" all the time which are such toxic standards. you portrayed that really nicely and i admire you 🥺

but for his dad to hit him and leave marks- such a horrifying thought and im just SO FUCKING MAD AT HIS DAD LIKE BITCH FUCK OFF 😡🤬

tae deserves all the comfort, safety, love and affection and im so so glad and happy that he had the oc there for him in that moment.

they cleared their misunderstandings and sorted their differences. ofc it was a vulnerable moment too, a hard discussion but it had to be done. you wrote it so beautifully. it was SO VISIBLE that both their hearts were hurting but they decided to move past it and accept and i think it was really beautiful ❤

"___ I think I'm starting to fall in love with you", he confesses before quiet sobs steal his words again. 

yeah i sobbed too.

but yeah, they came out with their feelings fucking finally and it was endearing

not @ me getting flashbacks from chapter 7 at the "Come Closer." lmao

okay also, can i mention how i almost felt like i was thirdwheeling while they fucked made love? 😳🤪

AND TAE HONEY.....FIVE TIMES??? GOOD LORD UGHHH *groans in horny* seriously tho oc getting the action like yay you go gurl

AND IM SORRY BUT I HAD TO QUOTE THIS

"I know it’s kinda the Leaning Tower of Pisa, uhm yeah", he mumbles, scratching his neck.

i just- 😃🔫

okay i could honestly feel the love radiating off them this chapter and it was so cute uwu

watching these two adorable idiots fight and grow closer through the past two months and then finally this? it was one hell of a ride but like the best kind. and i can't believe its ending now like....my wednesdays won't be the same now and just-

im just so grateful to you for this story. you really made my wednesdays so special and gave me something to look forward to and be happy for

and btw, im eternally thankful to you 💜

literally, you shared this amazing world of yours with us and im just so glad you did. sending you so many hugs and kisses sibi

like always, pls take care of yourself and remember to love yourself! 💕 i love you lots and i love, respect and admire your work a lot too (ps. i read "shutter sounds" recently and i loved it) and will forever follow you here (i hope that doesn't sound creepy skdjajakkdks) also, im very sorry for screaming here in your ask box but you know i have to 🥺💕

here have a tae to make your day even better-

fajifajdfjfajsdfja okay first of all omfgggg Taee :(( he is so adorable I wanna kiss :(((

And second of all DO YOU HEAR ME YELLING IN LOVE NOISES FOR YOU???? because I am 🥺😭💕

The memes you used? 10/10

The lines you quoted? omfg thank you 10/10 for being awesome

The words you wrote? 100000000/10 I fcukicng love you!!!

You? 4935902435094385328/10 holy shIT 💜

like that part

i honestly wasn't sure if i should just read it or not bcs i didn't want this ride to end :(

IS LITERALLY ME WHENEVER I REACH THE LAST CHAPTER OF A STORY HAHAHHAHAH like I am such a procrastinator in endings because I do not want to let it go quite yet :(

it showed how he was raised to act like a "man" all the time which are such toxic standards. you portrayed that really nicely and i admire you

This is legit such a compliment omfg :( I honestly worked so hard on that scene in the bathroom because I didn't want to portray the hardships men often have to go through in our society standards. So I am really glad that I was able to convey those feelings 💕

Please my dear, I love you so much and appreciate you with my entire heart! I really, really do! 💜💕

[fanficfeeling]

First Time With Jaskier in the Woods - Jaskier x Reader

A/N: Once again, my deepest apologies this took so long. I ended up having a bit of trouble with it and I wanted it to be excellent because of how long it took, and I am finally very happy with the result! I hope you enjoy, and if you’re unhappy with any part of it, I’d be happy to do something else, better to your specifications! :)

Request: first time with jaskier in the middle of the woods for @irskth

Warnings: Allusions to sex, but still should be SFW. Clear discussions of consent.

Word Count: 1078

Requests are open

~~~

- One of your favorite places is the forest.

- Jaskier knows that about you, and he knows it well. It's a go-to piece of information every time he tries to do something nice for you. Whether it's taking you out on a planned date, or just trying to get you to forget about your problems for a little while, you can bet he'll probably be taking you to the middle of nature to bring you that little bit of peace.

- Is it probably dangerous? Yes. Still, you find yourself trusting Jaskier to not bring you to the lair of any dangerous monsters (as questionable of a decision as it may be to trust that).

- You two make your excursions your own little adventures.

- He adores showing you beautiful spots he finds while he is out on his travels, be it clearings, cliffs, lakes, or rivers.

- He loves showing you spots where he finds inspiration for his music. If he can sit somewhere and find that the words or the melody come a little bit easier, you can bet he will be showing it to you. He always hopes it will bring you a little bit of happiness as well.

- Because of his dedication to making you happy, and your endless enjoyment of the woods, a lot of your big relationship milestones with Jaksier happen there.

- Your first kiss was a big one.

- He had taken you to see a small stream that he had found, since it was rather pretty, and had made him smile, and he figured you would enjoy it as well. You did, immensely.

- "It's beautiful here, Jaskier!"

- "I'm glad you enjoy it, I, uh, thought of you as soon as I came across it."

- You just about melted the second he said that.

- "I appreciate that you think of me."

- You leaned over and kissed his cheek, you just couldn't help yourself, and his face blossomed a bright, cherry red. You imagined you looked about the same. He turned to face you, and your eyes met for a few moments. You were unsure who took it further, but then you were kissing him. He was gentle, and kind, and held you softly, and if you hadn't truly melted before, you were a puddle im his arms by now.

- Yeah, this feels right, you had thought.

- You had your first serious conversation with him sitting by a lake.

- He had taken you out to have a picnic, because he just loved to sweep you off your feet like that. You had eaten, and conversation was dying down, and you sat there watching clouds. Feeling a bit melancholy, you found yourself asking him, "Are you happy being a bard, Jaskier? Does writing and performing songs like you do bring you joy?"

- He shrugged lightly, but still committed, "It's my favorite thing in the world, besides you. Why?"

- You shrugged as well, "Just thinking. Sometimes I wonder if I'm happy doing what I'm doing, living the life I'm living, and I think I am. Just nice to get a different perspective sometimes. And stop flattering me!"

- "I will not. Well, if you ever find that you are unhappy with this life you're leading, I guess you just have no choice but to run away with me, then. Become my bard sidekick." His smirk was cheeky.

- You give him a questioning look, "Do bards even have sidekicks?"

- "Not traditionally, but I am in the market for one. Maybe I could make it a trend. Start a whole thing from it."

- He joked, but your heart was warm at the implication of the conversation. "I will have to think about that offer."

- He turned his attention back to the sky, "Sleep on it. I could train you, make you fit for the road. I think you would be a good bard."

- "I'll sleep on it."

- You gave yourself to him fully for the first time an told him you loved him in a clearing where he had taken you camping.

- "I need to get away for a while." You had said.

- "I have just the solution." He had promised.

- He'd already had it set up when you had gotten there, and you were in awe with the amount of effort the set-up must have taken, especially for a guy who put more effort towards creative endeavors than physical work. You had thanked him profusely that day. If you were unsure about what you felt for him before that day, you became sure at that moment.

- "Thank you so much for this."

- "You don't need to keep thanking me! Enjoy yourself, it's for you."

- "Still, this is so unbelievably thoughtful. I love you."

- He froze for a moment there, and for a second you thought you had blown it. You thought he wasn't ready for that, you knew how he'd always been, maybe that wasn't his thing and you shouldn't have said that.

- Then he smiled, in an ear to ear grin, "I love you too."

- You were sitting with him that night, the both of you relaxing, and you'd be remiss to leave out that things were toeing the line of what was strictly appropriate between the two of you. You weren't interested in stopping. Jaskier was concerned nonetheless.

- "Are you sure about this? We can back off if you're not into this, you don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with just because you feel like you're accommodating me or anything-"

- "I am perfectly happy and willing to go where this is going, Jask."

- "Stop me if that changes?"

- "Immediately, upon any discomfort I feel. I ask the same of you."

- "Of course."

- It was an incredible night for you both. Soft, and gentle, in all respects. It can be hard to find moments where you feel so completely respected and loved, but this? This was one of them.

- He helps you understand the importance of a truly loving partner who honors your interests and wishes, and you show him the importance of having someone around who will earnestly and positively engage him, and support him in all his endeavors. A beautiful, healthy pair.

- Also you do end up making a really great bard sidekick.