#im so tired of fighting myself

[ganondoodle]

just after i crawled my way out of that 'art-low' and i got myself excited to work on the rough draft for chapter2- i suddendly just crash and burn again bc i cant get the thought out of my head that im not a good writer either actually and my ideas are comically boring

do i really have to fight my own brain over and over again for the rest of my life (ㆆ_ㆆ)

[lunas-slave]

Lmao don't mind this just need to vent somewhere where people don't know me irl

[creekfiend]

God I'm so tired of people acting like not wanting to attract a lot of (often negative) attention is somehow Capitulating To Bigots like. The other day I was talking to someone about my strategic deployment of pronouns based on how much of an issue I think a person is likely to make about it and they were like "oh I just do what I want I'm done catering to cis people" and I was like BUDDY. I LIVE IN THE RURAL SOUTH WANTING TO NOT HAVE TO CONSTANTLY GET INTO IT WITH PEOPLE ABOUT MY PERSONAL GENDER IDENTITY IS NOT CATERING TO CIS PEOPLE I HAVE A RIGHT TO WANT TO MOVE THROUGH THE WORLD WITHOUT CONSTANT INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Or like I was talking about how I hate swimwear options bc they're all revealing but if you choose to wear like, a t shirt and shorts, people still stare at you because that's socially unusual so it sucks either way and someone was like "I just do it anyway and if people don't like it they can die mad about it" and like... okay. I want to be able to go to the local pool and not either be uncomfortable with what I'm wearing or have people treat me weird about it. I would like for my presence and clothing choices to be considered neutral and it's fine for me to state that actually. This is not assimilationist or capitulating to people. It's going "hm I would love if stepping out my front door didn't have to be a revolutionary act!!!!!" Agghhhhh

[gophergal]

To say an Aspec person's life is wasted because they lack an interest in [sex/romance/platonic relationships]* is like saying an evergreen tree has wasted its life for refusing to grace its branches with apples

*(respect aros, aces, and aplatonic folk equally or taste my blade)

[snazzi-strawberri-artz]

AUGHH CLASS ASSIGNMENT YIPPEEE!!! Had to make cut out silhouette designs for 3 of our characters!!!

[silverislander]

day 30: enemy

caitlyn comes out of the meeting room, boots echoing on the marble, and her face is stony.

"how'd it go?" vi asks, sitting up on the bench.

"she's disappointed." caitlyn sits down next to her. "we could have had her today, vi. we can't let her get away again."

it sounds like a warning more than a statement of fact.

"you don't have to talk to me like that, you know." vi's trying her damnedest to keep her own tone even.

"like what?"

"like you're giving me orders."

caitlyn has been easy to read since the day she stepped too close to vi's cell. this look that she's giving her now, though? vi can barely parse it.

it passes quickly, though. caitlyn closes her eyes, breathes deeply and furrows her brow, and vi finds comfort in knowing that that means she's disappointed in herself. "i'm sorry. i just- you know how important this is to me."

this being capturing vi's baby sister.

they haven't talked about what happens after caitlyn catches her. vi can't bring herself to ask, and caitlyn seems to think she should just know the logical conclusion. there's no option that makes her feel good: jinx banished oceans away where she'll never see her again, jinx rotting in a cell the way vi was supposed to, something worse that vi won't allow herself to name.

vi has been doing her best to prolong the inevitable, however it comes to them.

"take a break, caitlyn," vi's voice is almost a whisper as she puts a hand on caitlyn's shoulder, turns her so she can see her eyes, close enough to smell her perfume. "i'm going home- come with me. let's sleep it off."

prolonging means peace can't last forever, though.

the door in front of them opens again, and ambessa walks out. backlit by the evening, she looks like every avenging spirit vi's ever read about. it makes her understand why their first words are to not be afraid.

she doesn't say a word; she just gives them both a look that vi is sure is meant to be dismissive and walks down the hallway, out the door, leaving them alone again.

when vi turns back to caitlyn, that implacable cast is back over her eyes. vi's favourite colour was always blue, but that look makes her understand why people think of it as cold.

"i'm going to be in the office," caitlyn says. "you can come or go home, whatever you need, but i'm going to stay. i'm going to make sure that next time, we won't fail."

won't fail. whatever that means. vi's already failed, letting any of this happen.

she can't help herself. before caitlyn can get up to go, vi stands, spits, "good night, sheriff," and walks away.

[puppyeared]

i wrote this as a joke because I wanted to strangle a guy watching tiktoks without headphones on the bus, but im genuinely disturbed that we've gotten to a point where convenience comes first. and it depresses me even more that its used to justify and monetize greed

[sil3ntm0thart]

art will continue as normal considering my queue goes out till sometime in february

all we can do is keep going. keep moving forward... as much as we can.

[triglycercule]

eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj

[ittybittybumblebee]

i want to see exactly how many people actually have thought i am for research because ive gotten this quite a few times from different people i just wanna see how far it goes

[kaisollisto]

[professionaljester]

love my bad mental health, love being suicidal all the time

[selamat-linting]

resignation letter is the most potent painkiller. i love you resignation letter i love you one month notice <3

[fatherdmitri]

told my sister i got a (WOMENS CUT) suit for my conservative christian cousin's wedding that my mother is trying to force me to wear a form fitting dress to and even with me telling her id be wearing the suit with four inch heels and jewelry she didn't even react neutrally and i just burst into tears. i love my sister but shes just complacent and the type of straight girl that harps on about being noah kahn or chappell roan lesbians with her boyfriend and only is friends with campy gay men. im sorry you have a dysphoric dyke sister. sorry that me calling out my own mother and extended family's "don't ask don't tell" attitude is too much. sorry. sorry. sorry sorry sorry.

[enden-k]

May I ask if Kaveh is in the Ratiotham uni au or he's nonexistent in this timeline 👀👀👀

I was blind to the potential in Ratiotham at first tbh but I'm a hardcore believer now 🙏🙏🙏 also I'm sorry if this has been asked before!

i was thinking about having him around but i fear that some ppl want me to have him involved or more active even tho hes not the focus or romantically involved w hthm in this so yea. bc of the fear of some ppl being annoying and having all asks revolve around kaveh again, im unsure yet if i even want him to play a role and consider have him just get mentioned when hthm is napping bc of him being too noisy in the nights

[tiredfoxtf]

Sometimes I still think about this exchange Bdubs and Joel had about Etho in first session of SL.

Bdubs: I've never seen [Etho] this panicked before. Joel: Me either. Joel: No actually- except that time in Double Life in a trapped portal.

LIKE THIS EXCHANGE DRIVES UP THE WALLLLLL.