#but back hurts
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#tko_art#hahah wrong eye shape#hers is more droopy and less awakey#wow colors suck#really hard#but i've noticed it doesn't feel like my brain is going to explode everytime I try to determine color and values#i kind of got too tired and wanted to giv eup so no tear drop#which made me sad because i did want to try that#but back hurts#gotta go to bed to fight god tomorrow/today#i love rendering skin tones#they're so much fun#lovely love#I have accidentally locked in#suddenly every single moment of time that i'm not spending to do art is unappealing and so damaging#i'm psyching myself out of doing things I know will give me instant gratification and will make me pretty happy for whattttttttt#it's kinda depressing#If i think about it too hard it's just a constant cycle of oh god this is it for the rest of my life#so no thinking it is!#blegh this seems so silly and trivial#i hope nobody reads this shit#i'd have to kill myself or something#im never gonna stop thinking about how i didnt say i loved you back#and it haunts me#and i cant stop thinking about what u said to me#and even tho u didnt say it harshly i cant stop my mind from running away from me#and theres something horribly wrong with me that i need to gouge out#i hope u never read this#i didnt want to be (x) how fucked up is that#i wish i wasnt like this i wish i didnt have to learn how to live with trauma i wish i was normal
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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to moving forward
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk art#yuji itadori#gojo satoru#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itadori yuuji#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#satoru gojo#jjk manga spoilers#hina.comic#before any1 says anything i KNOw his birthday is in december ik ik ik this is just 2 show some post-battle bonding after the trauma#its winter in canon n megumi's birthday has passed and he spent it being piloted like a mech so they need to celebrate Now!!#also this was technically a request lmao anon wanted megumi birthday angst hehehehhe i hope u like it <3 bc it KILLED ME DEAD#im going to collapse remember when i said this wasnt harder than the hydrangeas im having second thoughts#page 8 made me want to bash my head in#could have stuck with one flashback image could have left them monochrome could have done literally anything 2 ease the workload#but noooo the chronic overachiever in me would not allow it#rule of threes i had to include all of them and they Had to be in colour it wouldn't have hit the same if i had kept it monochrome#i needed it to look how childhood memories look i needed it to look oversaturated and hazy and fond but unmistakably Gone#it may have killed me but im so proud of this rn like from an art style perspective these megumis and yuujis r top tier by my standards#personal favourites r the first and last panel of crying megumi like not 2 pat myself on th back but expression?????? hello??????#enjoy your cake megumi you've earned it <333 sorry fr hurting ur feelings it will happen again#oh my god i can sleep tonight bless <333 and i met my 3 day deadline NICE im so good at what i do
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writhing in agony but i'm getting a little hot with it like arching my back and moaning and baring the smooth, vulnerable curve of my throat and white knuckle gripping the sheets beneath me
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Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.
This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.
#ccyy talks#sorry for posting this here but I'm pissed and this shit really needs to stop#For all I know he recorded me too cause I'm young and look healthy but got to go back next#Sorry about your cough buddy but the way things work I was a more immediate emergency#1k#5k#10k#30k#this post clearly has a life of its own now#and in case someone wants to know some clarifications for common points#people in a position of authority/actively hurting someone with the intent to protect/help the person is fine#so cops doctors nurses mental health workers and educators (to name a few) who actively are abusing their power and authority? free game#this post was filming random ass people for Content(tm)#random ass people more so those in distress aren't your content and you do not know the harm you can do to someone by posting that shit#50k
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friendly reminder that you can still get covid in 2024, we're in the middle of a massive wave right now and covid is NOT "just a cold". take necessary precautions in crowded places, on buses, on train, or on planes. it's better enduring a few strange looks when wearing a mask than getting ill and/or (god forbid) lifelong complications from long covid!
oh also, if you've got symptoms–yes it's a pain to have to buy a test–but PLEASE test. we're still in the middle of a pandemic however much we all want to forget that fact and we can still do our bit to protect others!
#speaking from someone who's currently on her covid sickbed from the eras tour#it's not fun out here! i haven't slept for coughing i've been running a low grade fever for days and my hair follicles hurt!#covid isn't over#covid#covid 19#fi's covid content#i've also had long covid before and i really hope this doesn't bring it back and there's no way of knowing so all around#wouldn't recommend the experience
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Comic about something that happened in 2019
#he was ok btw they reattached his 2 fingers back#he also said it didn't hurt at all due to shock and the pain only started after the fingers were put back#original#me
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your love returns in tragedy (ID in alt)
#farcille#falin touden#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#coming face to face with the consequences of acting out of love - marcille u will always be famous#dunmeshi is really a series that keeps on moving bc it's about so many different characters and centered on the journey#rather than like... introspectively on one singular individual so i dont think we see marcille dwell on it but we can see her fatigue#her shock and surprise in the recent ep “don't hurt her she's just confused” Gah. desperately trying to grasp everything thats going on and#not to lose hope. bc undoubtedly the remains she put together was falin's - that short moment of reprieve the party had was with falin#she was able to bring her back her magic did it!! but the violence the fatal swings was not falin at all.#just pondering about holding that guilt... it's such a huge responsibility to be in charge of life in the first place and yet it is#a burden she'll keep trudging with. defying the natural orders to keep the people she love alive... i Lauv her...#also shared sentiment with the rest of the fandom but God. Chimera Falin... she is Everything....#ruporas art
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Needlessly close reading and long commentary on chapter 57 and how the audience actually has an extremely limited view on what Marcille has been like over the course of her life.
I am once again thinking about how pre-dungeon Marcille is so quiet and stoic that she seems like a completely different person. How jarring chapter 57 is for the audience. Like you have Marcille, who has been just the most blindingly expressive person with resting baby face
And then the chapter drops a title page of Marcille hearing from Falin for the first time in four years and it's like.
Who is that. Genuinely. Would you even realize that's Marcille without the context clues?
And then the chapter just keeps coming in with the sucker punches.
We have SEEN Marcille meet strangers. It was never with this understated of a smile.
literally who the hell is this. the few times the audience gets to see some Signature Marcille Faces that they're used to is when she finally gets to see Falin again
when she's testing out her new spells
(and when Laios and Falin are fantasizing about her being their damsel in distress, funnily enough)
And then finally. Finally you get to a fully recognizable Marcille when she fucking DIES and comes back to life to geek out about necromancy.
We know she loves magic. We know she loves Falin. So it's not so surprising that she wouldn't be able to keep a mask up when thinking or talking about the things she loves. But why the mask in the first place? Where does it come from? It's tempting to think that, maybe, Falin's departure just hurt her so much that it turned her into a quiet person.
But that's only half true. If you go back, the first instance you see of this incredibly mild personality is actually introduced much earlier, in chapter 17.
What if she was always like that. What if her default after her father died was to hold people at arm's length, to never really emote past being polite and friendly. What if Falin was the first person who was able to bring her out of her shell, and when she left, Marcille just went back to how she was.
And when comparing her detached demeanour with someone else...
It's not exact, but wouldn't you say there's a resemblance? Wouldn't you think she might be trying her best to imitate what she saw of her own mother working as an accomplished mage?
It would certainly explain why she's hiding behind her portrait in her nightmare, at least.
We aren't told that Marcille has been distancing herself from everyone around her using a mature and dignified personality she modelled off her mother. But we sure as hell are shown it, I think.
#marcille donato#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers#this got so fucking long#it was originally just supposed to be 'haha marcille's old coworkers probably know her as the super serious one'#and then i started connecting dots and it was all over for me#anyway babygirl went right back to depressionville after falin left and it's like. wow. falin doesn't even know how long it's been#that's gotta hurt.#dunmeshi panel meta#marcilleposting#junoposting
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Have you ever vomited so hard you not only wrecked your throat but dislocated your collarbone?
How about a migraine so bad it triggers your mast cells into a pre-anaphylactic reaction and you start breaking out in hives all over your body?
Yeah. Me neither until 4 o’clock this morning.
New level of hell unlocked.
And the migraine is still ongoing. I’m just no longer blind and dry-heaving.
I hate this.
#chronic health tag#chronic migraine#tw vomit#tw body injury#my collarbone is back in but everything hurts so bad#if I can’t keep this water down I’m heading to the ER
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Scary Sunset.
I'm concepting things way outta order in this story, but I'm sure you can piece things together. Context is for a storybeat where, after defeating and capturing Adagio (thus having all three sirens in her possession), Sunset enacts her revenge plot to release the sirens on Canterlot as Thea discovers she's been manipulated. In a confrontation, the two scuffle and fight over the siren orbs while Sunset struggles with her conflicting wants and emotions.
#mlp#sunset shimmer#twilight sparkle#twiset#the orbs are the glass balls sunset carries on her back btw its in her cast line up art#deep down sunset hates thea. she was named “twilight” by celestia. the time of day succeeding sunset. she was always her replacement#but at this point in the story sunset's also fallen for thea. so it's also a conflict of wills in sunset. love or hatred.#hence the “don't make me do this” language. she's rationalizing her hatred and violence as thea forcing her hand and getting in her way#when in reality she doesn't need to do any of this. it's her last stand and outburst to cling to a life of revenge that she's grown too#fond of. because she knows thea has the power to change that and disrupt her identity as a pathetic victim who fell from glory#and that's scary. thea's a very scary thing to sunset because suddenly sunset wants something and to be someone new.#she suddenly wants to change. to be better for someone else. and she never thought or believed that could be an option for her#anyways toxic yuri yayyy#my art#the grand galloping 20s#character design#i hope i got across the pained conflicted emotions in sunset's face tho i belabored over them these past 3 days#i hope a look of anger and dissonance and guilt and “oh god i don't really wanna hurt you please just obey me” while trying to intimidate#is readable. if so it's all in the eyebrows babey
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hermitshipping / trafficshipping
(info under the cut)
ddvau
au made by @xmaruu11 @kitsuneisi
heart forecast/kokoroyohou by eve
editing by me :3c
#dan actually does something#video editing#lyric edit#heart forecast#eve#hermitshipping#trafficshipping#ddvau#ddvau cuteguy#ddvau hotguy#ddvau grian#desert duo#YES I KNOW THE PACING IS WEIRD AND OFF#I JUST NEEDED THIS IDEA OUT OF MY HEAD SO I CAN DO MY CLASSWORK PROPERLY#my back really hurts#there was more buildup for this#but i gave up#if i have more energy i might do it
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brighter days ahead
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jjk art#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#jjk spoilers#jjk leaks#nobara kugisaki#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 268#im sobbing about them its 1am and my hand hurts#but ive got more in me i havent been this happy n hopeful in so LONG#HES BACK#THEYRE ALL BACK#we might b okay guys it might all b ok .... :'>>>>>#im ignoring the minor salt abt all of yuuji's scars being Gone#like im happy he has both eyes n all that#but what can i say id gotten a bit attached to the new look :<<<#n my yuuji injury list is out th window hgdfghjkgd everything ive drawn is now inACCURATE CRIES#i predicted megumi having a scar on th Other side....yuuji now has his depth perception back........sighs#shoko is too good at her job gdi#all of this is /lh btw the loss of scars is small price to pay !!!!!megumi is BACK and SMILING and they all r gna b ok i believe :')#home stretch we r in endgame they can make it this is OUR jujutsu kaisen first year believers
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05 x 04 | Still not boring ❤️🩹
#THIS EPISODE KILLED ME#HURTED ME IN A WAY I DIDNT THINK WOULD HAPPEN#im so glad wilson came back i missed him#though i do enjoy lucas very much#house md#malpractice md#hatecrimes md#hilson#wouse#gregory house#dr house#doctor house#greg house#james wilson
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grab a fork, take a bite 🍰🌸🏳️⚧️💫!
#digital art#fanart#mlp#mlp art#my little pony#original character#mlp oc#pony oc#sprinkle bug#sprinklebug#mlpfim#cake#he's a cake moth pony btw! :3c#OH and it doesn't hurt!!! it grows back!!! dw!!!!!
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AU based off Nature except I kept thinking about it too hard. Dales not a good dad, but its such an easy problem for him to throw money at, and what do you do when a part is damaged? Well, you replace it.
Basically an AU where Dev gets to experience medical trauma and realizes much sooner how much his dad doesn't love him
#I have IDEASSSS#but only if people are interested#fop#fairly oddparents#dev dimmadome#dale dimmadome#fop dev#fop dale#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#fop nature au#moral orel nature#hurt no comfort#blood#child abuse#child neglect#medical trauma#implied gun violence#Dev only gets a week or two off school because his dad doesn't want people to think anythings wrong#Dale doesn't care thattt much about public optics but people knowing you permanently disabled your son is absolutely not good for business#Dev hates the leg and keeps it as hidden as possible#as far as anyone else knows he just took a week long vacation and came back lazier and crabbier than ever#Dale did it out of his own sick kind of love but to Dev its just a reminder of how replaceable his dad sees him.#just the same as any other of his machines#The doodle in the corner is Dev coming into his own a bit more. He stops trying to look like his dad#Did you know Dev and Dale have naturally curly hair?? They just hair gel it to all hell#I think in this timeline Hazel shows up pretty soon after he returns to school so the accident is pretty fresh#art#digital art#fanart
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