ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I never realized how big 2 years was until having a friend two years younger than me at 19. She's 17 and we met through my old job and she's chill and all, but she drives me crazy because she basically forgets I'm an adult. Like, she respects my adult-stuff when it aids her like when she stayed in my house for 2 months and I drove her to work, etc etc. But now that I don't have time to go goof off and go to parties because I'm house-hunting and have a new job, etc etc then I'm bothering her because I won't pick up her 5 calls while my roommate is trying to sleep because we were both sick and I told her ahead of time?

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

My roommate and I have nicknamed my Alexas "Jarvis" to not set her off when we are talking shit.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

The video my roommate sent me of my dog waiting for me at the door while I was out buying his wet food.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

So, my dog is super dramatic and he doesn't know what personal space and his love language is bull-dozer, so my boyfriend and I decided that since he has a thousand and one nicknames to pick one he doesn't hear enough to know as his so when we don't want him to freak out when we say his name in conversation, we have a name that he will think is just a word. So thus, we weren't allowed to call him this nickname but had to refer to him as only that. Hard enough.

So, my boyfriend and I are brainstorming nicknames and calling him everything. Of course he knows his name, Vincent. He also knew Vin, duh. Then Mason calls him Vinnie-Vin-Vin. He looks right at him. This dog doesn't know Vinnie, but we have called him Vinnie-Vin-Vin so many times that he knows that one.

My roommate, boyfriend and I are all dorks.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I hope he knows i love him

No, i'd never marry him

Its simpler

I'm in love with his best friend, he's different, unrelated.

I love him in the sense that he is perfect and he is good. He can hurt me and cut me and bleed me, but he is

Good.

And i will stay with him

Because i know

He loves me, too

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I hope he knows i love him

No, i'd never marry him

Its simpler

I'm in love with his best friend, he's different, unrelated.

I love him in the sense that he is perfect and he is good. He can hurt me and cut me and bleed me, but he is

Good.

And i will stay with him

Because i know

He loves me, too

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

We're safe now

You and i

You can rest now,

I'll let you

I forgive you.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I've lived in the trailer for almost 1.5yrs, and I still get this weird sense that I'm like not actually living there? Like, it's not my home kinda deal? But my parents, house doesn't feel like mine either? Like that's just the house I was raised in, and it's "my parents' house."

I know all my stuff is there and I sleep there and it's "my room" and "my living room" and "my house" but it feels like I'm in an airbnb or sum.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

My dad let me steal* his rug from him. This rug is from my childhood, but also his. This rug is from the 70s or 80s. Love it, it's old and seen some shit, but I love having this in my living room now. My roommate loves it. The dog loves to lay on it. My foster cats? Oh that's the Scratching post. Not all the other Scratching post stuff. Nah, the really old, family tradition rug.

*I asked him for it, and he said, "Yeah, to take it whenever (I) wanted to," so I came by when he wasn't home and grabbed it while singing the wonderpets song and scaring my brother.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I'm petting my dogs head right now, and I have realized that when I talk about him like years after his death, he'll be "Vincent. You know, the dog I had back in college?" bc I got him right when I got serious about school, and he's only two right now, so he's gonna live through my college years.

I like to think about how I will view this time of my life in the future. It'll be the "college days," "the trailer days," etc.

I hope that someday I look back on "the Ole trailer days back when I was in college, living at the trailer" and it feels like when I talk about childhood stuff and it's just like, bittersweet. Dark chocolate. Yk?

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I wanna be positive for a minute. I was one of those kids who counted down the days till I turned 18. My teachers and friends would assure me "it's only ___ more (years/months/days" and I didn't expect 18 to be that much better, but I was fortunate enough that I could move out of my parents' houses at 18

I lived alone for over a year, every once in awhile I'd have a shit roommate for a month before I had to kick them out for doing shit like one pulled a knife on a 17yo. Now, I'm roommates with my best friend after being on my own for the most part.

I'm adjusting to living with new people with different standards than myself. I think I've chilled out with being a clean freak since I've learned that I grew up with a hoarder and a little clutter isn't as bad as sleeping surrounded by piles of trash.

I'm healing, and away from my childhood turmoils. I'm safe. That was worth living 19 years for. I did it. Like yeah, I have adult problems now but at least now I don't have to worry about being unsafe at home.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I'm trying to get out of bed so I can go to the gym and clean up after my roommates while they're at work, but my bed feels like quicksand, and my cat is sleeping next to me. I don't know if it would be more productive to just give myself some time and go easy on me or to just shut up and force myself to get up.

I just feel a bit useless since I cut back my hours at work so I could focus on my health and school. No one else is upset with me. Even my roommate, who is now covering groceries. My boyfriend and partner are both happy with me for cutting back, too. Everyone says I needed it, but I was managing working 30hrs a week and going to school, I just wasn't really "okay" I guess.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

I told my boyfriend I was gonna get my shit together, and he said, "Yeah! Twin toilets!"

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

My boyfriend is ranting about some comedy thing he watched but I'm stoned and adhd so I have slow auditory processing and music is playing so I'm struggling to follow along, but he sounds so happy that I don't want to stop him, he doesn't even seem to catch on that I have no clue what he's saying. He's kinda cute so I just let him rant, didn't wanna ruin the moment.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

As an adult, I've realized that my dad is not only is so autistic but also the same "kind of" autistic as me. Like, he thinks the same way I do. I can tell if he is upsett with me or not by asking myself if I would be upset in his shoes and it's *never* wrong. It helps our communication tbh.

TLDR; anti daddy issues vent, a positive thought I wanted to right down.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

Fact of the day: nonbinary people are real, valid, belong as part of the lgbt community, and super cool !!