#mcu shitpost

[mamaspidershit]

Murderer: Any last words?

Peter: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest.

Natasha, on the comms: Peter that is the WORST way to distract them.

[lokiusly]

anytime anyone says that Yggdrasil!Loki needs their Ratatoskr!Mobius all I imagine is

[what-do-i-type-here]

People keep comparing Destiel to other ships but one I've yet to see is SamBucky/WinterFalcon.

Like on one side you've got a super-human, dark haired, ex-brainwashed, ex-soldier who has blue eyes, a staring problem and also broke out of their mind control to join the other side after beating up their best-friend who thought they were dead.

And on the other hand you've got an older brother without any powers who has lost both of his parents, one of which he watched die at a young age, has a younger brother that looks older than him and he practically raised, who's helped save the world multiple times, died at least once, and dropped out of high school.

And then to top it off they both have this thing where they bicker like an old married couple despite not being together. Also that staring problem where they just look each other in the eyes for large periods of time.

[traveller-of-the-knight]

Jalockeley Lojakeckley

[rusted-soldier]

I am so glad that Steve “Fuck Around And Find Out” Rogers and Bucky “What Doesn’t Kill You Is Worse Than Death” Barnes are married.

[thanos-the-dad-titan]

No, the customer is not always right. And you want to see my manager?

(snap)

There's my fucking manager.

[finned-fish]

This is not going to be as funny to anyone else as it is to me, but that is okay.

After many years I am once again engaging in autistic fan behavior towards the MCU's Wanda Maximoff; however I am now considerably more disrespectful and cruel and rude to the characters I absolutely adore.

So with that information, the undying urge to go back to my roots and create a video edit of Wanda Maximoff is high. BuUuuuuUT, the idea is as follows:

Multiverse of Madness; the scene of earth-616 Wanda crying abt being a big bad spooky mom and earth-838 Wanda walking up to comfort her. The audio playing in the edit is the very popular song for edits "COPYCAT" by Billie Eilish. However!!! It is specifically the verse "Copycat, tryna cop my manner, watch your back when you can't watch mine. Copycat tryna cop my glamor, why so sad bunny? Can't have mine."

Essentially giving the perception that earth-838 Wanda is *not* walking up to comfort her other self, but rather to absolutely obliterate her ego and just generally bully her mercilessly lmao.

Earth-838 Wanda: I call that... mercy :)

Earth-616 Wanda: Lmao what mercy? Go cry abt it you childless peasant

[thaisibir]

Headcanon: Cassie gets the Pym family these shirts for their birthdays, Hank thinks it's the both the best and worst gift he ever got in his life, and Hope posts this on the Pym Technologies instagram

[superbeans89]

Wait til the MCU trademarks ERORF NIESHD as Hero Friends.

[ventsofsomeonewhoneedstherapy]

My roommate and I have nicknamed my Alexas "Jarvis" to not set her off when we are talking shit.

[kyuoki]

[mamaspidershit]

*Natasha arrives late to a team meeting*

Natasha: sorry I was otherwise occupied with a little b and e.

Peter: You went to a bed and breakfast without me?

Natasha: No, b and e - breaking and entering.

Peter, increasingly distraught: WITHOUT ME?

[lokiusly]

brb getting a “mobius my beloved” tramp stamp

[venator-signum]

kamala khan would have the most horrendous ao3 author's notes known to man

"hey guys sorry the update is late i switched places with an avenger (ajdgrhsh literally crying) and a really cool space scientist lady and then got into a fight and some alien dudes wrecked my house and then I met Nick fury and I was literal space it was crazy and I had to help save the universe and saw said scientist lady give up her life to save all of us... anyways hope you like the new fic, branching out with an arranged marriage au for this one!!!"

[troythecatfish]

[thanos-the-dad-titan]