#im so tired of being fucked over
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im so tired
#like physically#eepy#but mentally emotionaly too#ik i said i didnt want to put all my bullshit online but honestly where else do i have atp#nothings happening nothings going right#im so tired of being fucked over#like i can deal but gimme a break#sigh#big emotions tire me out#i feel like everythings my fault always#i had that debate competition today and that girl who sent me death threats was on the other side#she got like four penalties for talking over me#ffs girl just sit down#idfk i felt like shit after#idfk#i always feel like shit#ignore me idk im whining#yall are going through worse#but honestly does that make me a shit friend. that i cant fix it. make things better for you.#idk idk#i just want yall to be okay#please be okay. all of you. i cant take another person leaving me.#complaining tag
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above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.
#pig originals#im so fucking tired. right now. let me know if something here doesnt make sense or whatever but god damn#its always the fucking singling out of transfem people i just. want everyone to have a normal life#i want everyone to have the chance to worry over their clothes or whatnot not whether. they're going to be respected as Actual Human Beings#i want us all to have the opportunity to live quiet happy lives forever#can we fucking do it!!!!! ahh!! ahh im going to explode
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I should be allowed to get a "skip pointless and stupidly forced romance" button in everything I watch ever
#pls what the fuck#this is the most boring and pointless shit ever#oh my fucking goddddddd#im such a hater#stiff talk#sorry no but like. at least make it believable and interesting#this is just the typical “oh a man and a woman interacted so they must kiss” shit#pleaseeee for fucks sake can i get a show or a movie without romance.... please..#does anyone have any recommendations actually. very rarely do i enjoy the romance they put in stuff#i want smt whete i wont have to roll my eyes over stupid romance#aromantic#and TIRED OF ROMANCE BEING EVERYWHERE LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEE
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im going to be so real something that really annoys me is people who seriously think its okay to say someone elses body makes them uncomfortable. i dont care what it is, whether its burn scars or self harm scars or men with boobs and curves or whatever. if just looking at someone else makes you uncomfortable genuinely get the fuck over it. you have to get over it.
#lamb.og#especially trans men who get uncomfortable with OTHER TRANS MEN who just dont look like them#like!! thats bigotry babe!!#bigotry born from disgust and discomfort is still bigotry.#saying you dont want to LOOK at someone because the way they look makes you uncomfurtable is so fucked up#and im tired of letting it pass and people acting like its valid and normal#sometimes you have to get the fuck over yourself im serious.#analyze that discomfort babe#is it helpful is it kind is it true or are you just being kind of an ass#a lot of the time youre just being an ass
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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???
#personal#i am emotional yes#over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme#nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post#and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity#especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making#if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care#i just needed to scream#and this is one small thing#but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks#saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that#my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten#i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked#-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also#and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb#a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u#idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit#im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved#im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does#wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun
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I'm gonna be a little bitch for a second GOD it's so so so fucking exhausting being a non USAmerican online. Like. Jesus fucking christ the levels of defaultism are just,,,, god. The 'default' audience for every post is Americans. American pop culture is universal obviously, and god forbid you bring up a show from your own country because no ones ever watched that! The millions of kids in your country don't count clearly. When American places are mentioned it's always Town, State, Country, but when anywhere else is mentioned you're lucky to get State, Country, or the closest major city if you're really lucky. Fahrenheit and MM/DD/YY and American spellings dominate even though they're the only country that uses them. People constantly talk about how x and y 'breaks the law'. They mean American laws, because those are obviously universal. American news and American politics are everywhere. You *have* to care about this. If you don't, you're a monster. The only time my country makes it is when we're literally burning to the ground, and even then they don't even touch the political side of things. Even international incidents somehow get brought back to America - call your representative (I dont have one). Go to these protests (they're on the other side of the world). Sign this petition (it's for US residents only). Im going to go insane.
#sigh#yes this is inspired by the fucking CONSTANT 'what do you think of this american state!!1!' posts#i Dont.#I Do Not give a shit aboit fucking ohio or whatever#and the assumption tjat everyone everywhere has thoughts on these states (KNOWS these states) is just#gh#what do YOU think of tasmania? or the act? or queensland??#what do you mean you dont know them?? everyone does!!#god#i know im being a bitch and over dramatic but im so fucking tired man#me.txt
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I’m actually scared of alienating some of my followers and moots with all the trans discourse I’ve been steeping quietly in and contemplating, but… I’m trying to not let being scared shut me up about this. That, in and of itself, is erasure and silencing.
Fuck staying quiet. Trans men and mascs deserve a voice, and we, as a group, are not oppressing or invalidating anyone else by using that voice. (Obviously there are shithead exceptions!! Anyone can be an asshole.)
I really hope that if I ever speak about any of this in the future, that people recognize that it’s not ever, ever trans femininity as a concept I have an issue with. It’s people who
- try to divide the community
- are reinventing gender essentialism from the ground up but make it trans
-police other people’s identities and decide for them what oppression they must face because of a tiny set of superficial traits
- simply. Don’t understand what intersectionality means.
- disregard and invalidate anyone who doesn’t fit a very specific (binary, rich, white, abled, flawlessly passing) idea of what it means to be trans.
None of those things are specific or exclusive to one identity. There just happens to be a community of transfems who are currently espousing many of these ideas as gospel. They are understandably defensive because of real actual transmisogyny they face. But other trans people are not your enemy. Accusing anyone and everyone who tries to point these flaws out as radical transmisogynists is simply not true. Pointing out bigotry is not bigotry in itself.
I don’t want the trans community to constantly be at each other’s throats. We each have to sit down and think if we ever catch ourselves blaming an entire other marginalized group for our issues. That’s just fascism babes.
#I don’t remember who and I’m sorry if this was you#but I saw a LOOOOOONG time mutual put a post sewing transfem v masc discourse and I just#can we not. we all have issues. why don’t we like… help each other with them instead of proving x or y have it ~worse~#but also for real the threats of violence and anti masculinity ‘jokes’ going around have really been getting to me#fucking. stop it. *bap bap bap bap bap bap* it’s not feminism to ascribe negative traits to an entire group of people#it’s not woke to put down an entire identity.#transandrophobia#transmisogyny#trans discourse#trans#trans unity#transfeminism#if anyone calls a tme theyfab over this post I’m launching into the sun#good bye guys. going to step into traffic and get isekaid to eorzea where I can live with my beautiful transgender catgirlboy husbandwife#my post#hopefully this doesn’t start *too* much shit because I’ll be for real I’ve blocked half the people on these tags#this started as a thing addressing those moots though so. my target audience is not blocked lmao#me: has political opinions also me: DONT HATE ME IM NORMAL I SWEAR#I mean. fuck being normal. just not bigoted. I’m just tired of being the butt of every joke#and being blamed for something I had less than nothing to do with
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I hope in the next dragon age game theres 3 dwarf companions 3 qunari companions 1 elf and a human that dies early on like that one girl from the dao awakening dlc
#dragon age#dragon age origins#dragon age 2#dragon age inquisition#dragon age the veilguard#dao#da2#dai#datv#SORRY IM A LITTLE BITTER#one dwarf companion in each game…#one qunari but not one in 2…#dwarf and qunari have so much lore we dont know about#IM TIRED OF THE ELVES CAN I SAY THAT#im only a little jk#i like the elves#i really do#it just feels like we’ve focused on them sooo much#i wanna go to par vollen#and seheron#and actually go to orzammar and kal sharok#LIKE. idk. im tired of one dwarf/qunari companion in each game#so im being a bit of a hater#i like all but ONE (1) of the companion in all the da games#sorry chat my haterisms took over 😔😔😔#anyway. FUCK ea. let bioware make the games they want !!!#also. maybe get more non-white ppl in the writers room cuz. its felt lmao#maybe im wrong but it certainly doesnt feel like i am.#is this dragon age criticism???m#sort of. if you read my tags thats on you srry
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HEAR ME OUT.
sect leaders lan sizhui, ouyang zizhen, and jin ling calling lan jingyi as “furen” as a joke, until it escalated and now the rest of their sects— respectively, calls him; lan–furen, ouyang–furen, and jin–furen. all because none of the sect leaders attempt to deny the rumors if lan jingyi is really gonna marry one of them and become their madame, and because the three of them secretly preens at jingyi getting called their furen. they are three dumb lovesick fools who are deeply infatuated with their best friend.
despite jingyi’s flustered state at every address towards him, it reached to a point that he got used to it and fully embraced his title(s). the three saw this as a tacit approval and began openly courting and initiative towards him.
lsz: “jingyi, can you stay for a little while? would you really allow this husband of yours to be left alone after his incessant efforts of finishing his paperwork?” sizhui teases fondly, his voice too soft that jingyi assumed it was genuine. jingyi pulls his hand away with a flush.
after jin ling bought him 5 chicken wings, before jingyi could even protest.
ljy: “jin ling! i can’t finish all of this!” he fusses. “you’ve been spending so much stuff for me since earlier, what’s up with you anyway?”
jin ling only directs him an amused glint in his eyes before humming,
jinling: “i can’t let them think i‘m neglecting their beloved jin–furen.” he says before wrapping his arm around the other’s waist.
the lanling jin sect members— especially the younger disciples, absolutely adore jingyi. since jin ling‘s reign as sect leader, the lanling jin sect transformed for the better, and he broke the cycle of shitty sect leaders. the younger disciples are made of majority of members jin ling personally handpicked and invited into the sect, and they’re fond and grateful towards him. because of this, they are very comfortable and friendly, and jin ling allows them to be informal and friendlier towards him as long as it's just him and his sect. the other trio were present during this, and are quite popular amongst them, especially jingyi. they are very fond of jingyi since he has much more time to visit, since the other two are sect leaders. the disciples have an inkling about their sect leader’s attraction towards jingyi. who knows, they probably call him jin–furen to appease their leader and hopefully deliver the message to jingyi’s dense ass.
i cannot think of any scenario for zizhen, but i can imagine that zizhen would act more.. soft and affectionate towards jingyi. aaa
#junior quartet#lan jingyi#lan sizhui#ouyang zizhen#jin ling#zhuiyi#what the fuck do you call zizhen x jingyi#lingyi#rant#very self indulgent#please give me more junior trio being pathetically inlove towards jingyi IT'S SO FUNNY#zhenyi#is zhenyi zizhen x jingyi ?#jingyi pretty boy coded#can you guys tell who my favorite is in junior quartet#oh#aged up characters#just incase#did you know that the 3 sects fought over jingyi ?#they always bicker that it’s lan furen not jin furen or ouyang furen#“GUSU LAN HAD HIM FIRST!!!! GOT GET YOUR OWN FUREN!!!”#the disciples are very protective and possessive of their furen#all the younger disciples are very fond of jingyi and only wants him for themselves#“i cannot tolerate sect leader lan pining his ass for years anymore can they please FUCK already”#“im so tired sect leader jin has been spoiling him senseless and even acts so forward with him like WHAT DO YOU MEAN they arent dating yet”#“tf you mean sect leader ouyang and ouyang furen arent dating ?? theyre literally married???”
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naw whos the crusty ass bitch who thinks its cute to take my ocs cause what is this
#''dergu zerghed'' thats the sound youll make after i hit u over the head with a mf frying pan#jk i just fukkin reported it man im so tired#even moreso they did enough digging to find the one where i threw freckles on him for an obscure ask like biiitch?????#got a comment on twitter abt how someone loved this character on spicychat and found more art of him and i immediately was out for blood#idc abt the cod fanart being thown all over every website i knew what i was getting into with that shit but my ocs#?#you take my oc my heart n soul ive been building for 10+ years slap some dumbfuck name on him and feed him thru a Fucking AI machine#thats whats rlly boiling my blood tbh fukkin selfish behavior#i went to investigate and i was on a waitlist for it im gunna kmssssss#i am once again plagued with the frustration of the major disconnect of people going 'oh yeah ai bad >:(''#yet falling for every single ai trap there is like some stupidass koala#now my character done been sacrificed to The Machine bc mfs too goddamn lazy to make real friends to rp with#aight the ugly bitch is tryin to take the wheel i gotta stfu
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cw // tattoos, piercings
why are they so loud about liking blondes .... i haven't slept in months pLEASE (<- not a blonde enjoyer)
even the version thats not in DOL universe likes blondes too 😭😭😭
slight cameo of whitney the faithful that belongs to moosen/jdolh !! (no tag cause its just smol cameo 😭)
#WHY ARE YOU THREE MAKING THINGS SO DIFFICULT#STRANGLES ALL THREE ERI#PLEASE LET ME SLEEP#LET ME REST#I HAVEN'T SLEPT IN MONTHS !!!! STOP BEING SO DAMN LOUD IN MY HEAD#<- actually sounds like a crazy person#like these three would start crawling all over the walls in my head#whenever i read some random media#and it has a blond haired man/woman#ESPECIALLY LOUD if the blond haired man/woman have red eyes#im tired of this !!!#LET ME FUCKING SLEEP DAMMIT#STOP KEEPING MY UP WITH IDEAS I CANT KEEP UP!!!!!!!!#oh and also its such a surprise i draw whitney so much because if i met whitney irl#he's getting pepper sprayed idc#but these three like him#so i cant complain ERBFHJERBHFBERF#dol#dol related#degrees of lewdity#dol pc#eri the orphan#eri (oc)#ERI I DID NOT MAKE YOU A BLOND LOVER#WHAT HAPPENED THAT MADE YOU A BLOND LOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#fan art#art#mine#my fan art#my art
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🍷<3
#when i got hashtag sick i was in hospital and i was doing my regularly scheduled call with my dad#and i really had no plans of telling him bc ive done that before and its not like he can scare the MS away or anything#i dont know what happened. maybe because it was such a fucking bad episode. maybe because i was so tired. maybe it was a secret 3rd thing#but one minute was like fine then i just burst into tears and i was crying so hard which is MEGA EW BC IM NOT A CRIER LIKE THAT#and my dad freaked out and he was like whats wrong and i didnt wanna tell him but I also sounded insane bc i spontaneously started sobbing#and he was getting more alarmed and i was upset that id upset him and so i just spat it out i was like 'listen king'#'its no biggie but my body is trying to kill me again and im just a little sad atm' and he replied 'baba why wouldnt you tell me?'#and this man who has a very big serious job literally dropped everything and took a 20 hr flight over#and he genuinely just grabbed one of his work suitcase because he showed up with nothing but dress shirts and his laptop#and i think maybe it healed me a little. i mean it def also made me sad too but mostly healed me#and he'd been here for a couple of weeks and he left today and i feel shit about being sad about it#again because he has a very big and very serious job and i genuinely dont understand how he even just showed up like that#so I felt guilty throughout#anyway i dont think he drinks anymore but i was like king have a sip of wine with me and he did and it was lovely#and I hope I become my fathers daughter and not my mother's child. praying to both our gods#heres to healing ❤️🩹
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season 8 makes me SICK
#fym i need you?!? GREGORY I AM CRYING#tears in my hilson eyes#fuck im so done with james wilson and gregory house being my evil gay dads#i have five months to live and your making me go thru it ALONE. help.#i need you to tell me that you love me#no. im not gonna tell you that unlesss you fight#greg you sick fuck#you guys went on a date and you need him and your not married i am on the floor crying over them#what the fuck do you mean house flooded a bathroom cause he couldn't properly deal with his grief#i just will not be okay becuase what are you talking about YOU FAKED YOIR DEATH FOR HIM I CANT#when wilson said that he always lets things go and he never minds and he's tired of it i FELT THAT spiritually#james wilson#gregory house#house md#hilson#this bitch literally goes crazy and tries to kill a patient becuase he's grieving his husband#I AM SICK#they are so married i hate them#i cannot stand them#I NEED TO EAT JAMES WILSON#THES AUTISM CREATURES WILL MOT GIVE ME PEACE#i cannot be responsible for the happiness of gregory house#you are responsible#I HATE IT
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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seriously though ... how on earth do i get my motivation/focus back???????
its been so long that i have been struggeling with art and i just .... i want to stop wasting time, day after day i just sit around and mindlessly play stardew valley (wasted 800 hours into the darn game, its a good game but thats way too many hours!!!)
i was listening to the arcane songs bc some of the new ones were rly good but now after the disappointing finale i cant do that, and neither have the show in the background, the hurt is too fresh and im bitter, i cant find anything to put on for the background noise
i keep thinking about all the things i could achieve if i could just ... if i could just DO it, but no i sit around feeling like im about to cry and nothing seems appealing/fun, its not quite that strong depression ... but it feels alot like it, time moves so fast and years go by and i get nothing done
i dont know what to do .. or what to try anymore, im so tired of everything and just want to be able to do something
#ganondoodles talks#personal#sorry i know its annoying to just see these kinds of posts over and over#on top of feeling the pressure to post literally anything bc the loss of twitter still hurts deeply#im so goddamn tired of being constantly on the edge of the worst versions of depression#i just want it to stop#but i cant GET IT TO STOP#and once again i lock at the time and its past 9pm and all i have done is fucking nothing NOTHING again#i want out of this so badly ... but i guess not enough since i cant get myself out of it#its so stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!#its times like these that i just wish i was “normal”#go away garbage useless brain of not letting me do anything but feeling shitty 24 hours a day
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I unironically ship Lilandra and Charles. I'm a multishipper and ofc I like cherik more but I love the banter she had with Charles in '97 👀👀 him being a pet to his alien bird fiancee?? Oooh kinky. We all know that if cherik does some petplay Erik is the puppy (this is a softcore take on those kinks)
my lawyers told me im legally not allowed to discuss petplay at length however there is in fact an 'attack dog boyfriend' joke somewhere here that im dying to make
#nsft#snap chats#helo everyone im finally back at my own room. turns out socializing is very fun and great but now i am tired#just a bit of business before bed tho ofc... heh ..... oh my god im so cooked I HAVE SO MUCH SHIT TO DO LATER#this weekend i gotta print some fuckin. 'can you stop fucking around' poster with magneto just so i get my shit together#that'd motivate me i think vljeavkej#anyways real#im still never getting oevr that shit being canonical dialogue in 97 i was watching that ep with my bro#and i heard that and i was in my corner like YO??????? professor sex in the house ..........#ok im really sleepy now and i still have to wake up to review for a test SOOOOO goodnight everyone#i may or may not be thinking of inappropriate scenarios involving my favorite old men while i sleep#no one can prove i am or am not tho. that between me and the lord#cat name poll's almost over im gonna rb that in the morning but yah ...... results lookin close .....#god im sleepy GOODNIGHT
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