#im seeing so much more of these kinds of feelings and i think ppl really need to watch out for that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inkskinned · 2 years ago

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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

#i used to think it was romantic too and then i was like. now i see it as a HUGE red flag #writeblr #it is also almost EXCLUSIVELY said by immature ppl who think this is normal #fyi even if u think it's funny and ur like 'im an introvert it's just TRUE' like. you need therapy (ily tho)#healed introversion is just ''i would prefer to be by myself'' not ''i hate every person'' ... hate is not normal. that is not healthy #im sorry. i know it feels accurate. but if you're walking around with that kind of rage....#1. you're making a LOT of assumptions about every single person u have ever met. which is often unfair and unkind #and also usually involves judging people based on their worst moments or little mistakes #2. you are being unfair to the person who is ur ''exception''#3. there is a VAST difference between ''ur my favorite person'' and ''the ONLY person i like.''#idk i think this is just a personal bias thing tbh #im sure there are people who have this experience normally #but i have YET to find a man who thinks like this and ISNT absolute DOGSHIT. although tbh.... like. im sure he exists #when u hit like 30 some of the things that were once kind of hot now just sound fucking exhausting. like ''im in a band''#edit in the tags: i used to kind of be like this too. but the thing is that like. my life became so much more peaceful #once i started believing that people are generally good. like yes i am mad at the world at large #but it's just.... a very hard way to live. you're not a bad person or wrong for the ways other people hurt you and taught you to be angry.#but that anger will continue to hurt YOU. it will punish YOU. it will prevent YOU from making new deep connections. it will protect you yes #but it will also cause MASSIVE blowback. bc if you lose the One Person... your life will fall apart. i know this personally.#i really recommend just trying to be... cautiously optimistic instead. like. yes #people can be horrible and cruel and there are some communities (incels for example) that aren't worth that optimism #but i think like... most people will hold a door for you . most people want to help you find your wallet .#i hope one day you are able to find peace. i hope that rage eventually smooths over. i know how hard it is PERSONALLY #and i know what must have happened to you. and im deeply deeply sorry we share the same wound.#but i promise - sometimes we all need someone else to help us carry the weight. eventually the rage has to die so that we can let help in #i had to spend years biting at outstretched hands. i still often do. im still very wary . and my heart breaks that you flinch too.#here's the thing: i don't blame you. but we were both acting out of fear and pain. .... not out of healthy behavior. and ... change #was needed. i needed change too. rage was useful for a while. then it just left me isolated and bitter. i had to (with effort)#choose to let that rage go. and let people in . VERY SLOWLY THO LOL

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ourhouseishaunted · 10 months ago

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people acting as if laios can Do No Wrong and infantilizing him because he is autistic are annoying as hell. especially because laios belongs to my favorite genre of character: "person who desperately wants friends and deep relationships because they're lonely, and while part of their problems stem from people not wanting to understand them and refusing to meet them where they are, they also genuinely come across in a way where you Completely Understand why others can get turned off from them"

#.txt #dungeon meshi #laios #like. okay. i think its a very autistic experience to Want People In Your Life So Badly but because you act differently and have a hard time #with social cues you dont get that easy friendship and it sucks and youre lonely as hell #<- source: im autistic #but ALSO. i think some people forget that missing social cues genuinely makes you rude. even if you dont mean it #intent goes a long way but sometimes the autistic experience is realizing that Unfortunately You May Have Been A Dick #or that being intense or overbearing or disregarding boundries you dont know are there Drives People Away #like idk i think wanting people to look deeper and see whats worthwhile about you while also realizing youve unintentionally #driven people away #and that you can be misunderstood AND need to improve how you treat people #is an interesting story (growing as a person while also understanding that you were worthwhile the whole time even if others didnt see it)#on TOP of being a. idk more true to life autism expereince at least for me #and characters who have these kinds of arcs are really fascinating to me and i think theres a lot of nuance to them #and idk it sucks when people try to act as if lack of malicious intent suddenly means everyone who doesnt love you unconditionally is wrong #to be clear sometimes its not the Neurodivergentisms that drive ppl away sometimes its smth else #but idk i find more nuanced approaches to characters like this feel much more engaging to me and its lame when it seems like ppl go out #of their way to remove nuance from characters :/

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bunnyboy-juice · 4 months ago

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spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner

#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr #me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel #and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need #space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time #but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single #Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was #much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh #i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups #and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that #definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him #its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh #cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did #like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess #guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here #and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno #we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff #that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting #i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it #i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu #anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu #publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago #n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus #being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the #stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)

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bowtiestash · 1 month ago

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i really find it interestin that you can kinda clock an artist's age based on how self-deprecatin they are lol

#its the uh. 'OMG THIS SUCKS SO BAD!!! SAWRRY' attitude #which is like. yeah. i get it #and im an adult rn and i also dunk on my art #but i feel like the way an adult dunks on their art vs how a teen does it is. noticeable #adults usually are like 'eh. this kinda sucks but w/e' (at least i am in this camp)#teens are just way more mean to themselves and dont shut up about how much their art 'sucks'#i was there before so i understand #but i think. ppl need to realize. when theyre overly self-deprecatin and put themselves down a lot it becomes annoying #which i know is very harsh of me to say #i used to be there so i know that feelin of insecurity but MAN #once you mature more you realize that expressing yourself in such a way is kinda cringe!#PLEASE just practice being kind to yourself #i think the cringe comes from the fact that no one really likes to see that stuff #if you need comfort or anything please talk it out with someone but like.#being VERY terrible publicly to yourself just makes a lot of people uncomfortable #keep in mind. if you post it online a bunch of strangers will be seein you moan about how 'bad' you are #and guess what! they dont know you! and they wont care!#it can start with 'i dont like how it turned out but at least its done'#what matters if that you enjoy yourself #if you start being terrible to yourself about your hobby that you should be enjoying then remind yourself youre there to have fun #skypeaks #also i will add. self-deprecation will also not help you in the long run. i would know from experience #cause rather than being productive with your self-deprecation you stick to 'i just suck!!!'#rather than like 'okay. im bad at this. but what can i do to better myself??'#i say from experience. this attitude CAN affect your relationships. not in a good way #so practice bein nice to yourself. truly.#you dont even need to be NICE just be neutral #start there. start with 'im okay at this'

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meme-loving-stuck · 2 years ago

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i remember being brought up christian like, almost concerned that i never felt a connection to any of the shit they were talkin about,

and when i was younger i was like "oh no! am i bad for not feeling connected to god?? is it bad i feel like my dead mom doesnt talk to me or watch over me?? am i horrible for pretending?????"

but turns out i just had Autism Powers that made me immune to it and i was able to completely sever myself from the idea of being Christian at the ripe old age of like 13. and it was such a HUGE comfort to see that there were all these other beliefs and spiritual sort of things that other people chose to believe in and didnt necessarily treat their beliefs as COLD HARD UNDENIABLE FACT the way christians treat the existence of god & heaven & hell

like now that i am older i know i was in fact traumatized by the culturally catholic beliefs my family held & forced on us all, but i am really immensely grateful that my child self looked at all the other aspects of christianity that would horrify most other children into behaving/conforming, and basically just went, "okay, source?"

and that was the end of that

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #okay source sounds so cringe ik but like #i really couldnt buy into any of it after a certain point #even though i almost found comfort in it! the idea of prayer was very much that for me the way it is for many ppl #i just literally could not believe something that didnt have proof i could see or touch #and when i was a bit older i did get hit with the 'well you cant SEE gravity but you believe in that'#but again immediately i was like... you can still prove gravity though. i learned it in seventh grade. LMAO #i dont know part of me is relieved i didnt feel the painful separation or conflict that so many others feel #but i am still kind of sad i couldnt just. be that way. and find a home somewhere #and that nothing else has really stood out to me except like non theistic satanism which also sounds. edgy teen boy #like it is a legitimate belief system and i feel closely aligned to it! but im still just kinda meh about using the label ... hrmm #perhaps need to look into the various kinds of satanism again #i tend to stay away from pagan stuff but its also something i found interesting #my partner seems very interested in becoming a jew despite not really... ever having been exposed to judaism or jewish cultures #but id like to learn more about it too i have many resources just kinda sitting....#idk i guess i started thinking about this bc actually studying other religions etc could be very fulfilling but i just....eh....

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol #this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable #im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work #property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me #like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well #and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for #Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too #like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and #down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy #last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just #feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b #put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back #down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then #that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her #i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better #on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out #dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really?#ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious.#i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles #but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol #unrelated

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windupaidoneus · 6 months ago

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this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me

#i do not have this kind of insecurity with anyone in bitches. it is baffling that im letting it get such power on me elsewhere #i know its because of the difference in familiarity & like. knowing bitches much longer. & the fact we are from the same community #it is definitely a trust issue in this case but there isnt really a fix for it. except trying to get closer to everyone i guess?#but that would feel forced. i mean i love making friends & i love having close friends & i do not like feeling like this #but im also not gonna force friendships just so i can stop being insecure. its ridiculous conceptually #not that i have beef with anybody of course. just not sure anybody would care to get closer to me atm #considering what people have seen of me i would very much understand the opposite. not in a self conscious way #though that would be quite the opposite of how i personallt would react probably... my complexes #apologies for ruminating on my thought process in front of tha whole world to see but admittedly u did not have to read it.#i suppose ive gotten worries waap was mad at me in recent ish times but the thing w waap is that if theres an issue ill know #& like. waap & i are like two peas in a pod like they say... its presence makes me overall more comfortable & safe #damn. does it realise how important it is to me. emotional break im tearing up thinking about it fuckkk i love my friends #bahhhh okay anyway... i love my bitches. my god. ppl complain about that server's channel system #but its my beautiful maze where my beautiful friends are... & i can trust them so so much i have a channel for being a hater...#fukkkkckkck did i woke up sappy as fuck what is going ONNNN ahhhh i love mynfriedns collapses to my kenes #IS IT SO BAD TO WANT MORE FRIENDS TO LOVE JUST AS MUCH!!!! & TO TRUST AS MUCH!!

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bouncyballextraordinaire · 7 months ago

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really just flubbed it at work today - this whole week has just been extraordinarily shitty

#tried a facilitation thing and it didnt work right bc i think i worded something poorly and so nobody got anything out of it and in fact ppl #ppl felt like it did more harm than good and i can totally see how #and also like yesterday went to shit and part of it was on me but my boss talked to me today and just told me all kinds of things that #apparently are our policy but not what i was told when i started and so even more things then became my fault #and i feel like this whole week i just have lost sight of what my job actually is and how to do it right #ive never had a job where i feel this insecure about what im doing all the time and im really starting to dread it bc i my job has so much #impact on the ppl i work with and i genuinely dont know if i can manage it i feel a lot of shame around how things played out this week and #my own skills #ouch my posts

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skrunksthatwunk · 10 months ago

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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waywardsalt · 10 months ago

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not to be That Kind of zelda fan but the hyrule historia does also explicitly refer to the world of the ocean king as ‘another world’

#i bring this up to be slightly petty but also as in like. one of the big loz info things refers to it as its own world #like even if the game is inaccessible and ppl dont want to look at cutscenes or anything. its Right There in this big series resource #im mostly pissed at this i think bc it kind of borders on straight up misinfo on ph’s lore stuff and also just. it feels… idk #really hand-wavey and indicitive of maybe how little some loz fans think of ph? that they see these baseline similarities with a more #popular loz game and just go oh so its like that. without actually fact checking or looking more into ph itself to look for nuance to it #like ph aint perfect but this is just one thing that pisses me the fuck off bc they always default it all to working exactly as it did in l #when it very clearly does not beyond those really general broad strokes- like its just wrong and it bothers me bc i see it often #its barely even up to debate tbh (headcanons are free reign tho) cuz like. canonically within the game and outside it is a solid world #everything in there is real and some of it interacts within the great sea. it just has different properties and w/e #like smaller headcanon shit is fine ofc??? like oh maybe its just in a different location in the same world as the great sea #or nitty gritty hcs abt how time passes in comparison n wether or not oshus himself csn manipulate how much times passed between worlds #its just like. the ‘dream world’ thing feel so different bc it just seems to come abt from ppl not actually looking at the game and just #conflating it with a different game like theyre like eh this ones not important so i can just figure it works the same as this other one #i think that explains why i hate this idea??? like im not pacing back and forth fuming abt this irl #i picked up the historia bc its in my room and i was looking for other stuff anyways and was like hm what does this say #its just. just irritating enough. i may delete this later #anyways ‘that kind’ as if i dont personally follow the official historia timeline #og point of this post is like. the book considers it ‘another world’ and makes no suggestion that its not real in any sense #compared to with la it makes it clear that yeah that one is a dream

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scarletiswailing347 · 1 year ago

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you can really tell i mellowed out about zam cause i draw him about as much as i do my other blorbos now aka never lol jk

#mine.txt #personal cw #not really a vent just me musing about my brain #i should really train myself to draw according to when *i* want rather than according to when my mental illness wants #cause like as much fun as it is it also has detrimental effects #like for example my more detailed drawings can sometimes take all night and id refuse to sleep until i finish it #cause i feel the overwhelming need to get it done #even tho i dont Want to get it done cause i want to go to sleep #also should be on tumblr less cause ngl it takes up way too much of my time #i like reading (non narrative) words and tumblr has a lot of them #honestly im never gonna solve these two specific problems until i manage to get to the root of them #aka my hatred of sleep and my want to see other ppls experiences respectively #both of which stem from my emotional negligence resulting in a weird existential kind of fomo #but til then i need to set up some temporary solutions cause this is Not sustainable #like i literally wrote this at 1 am even though ive been so sleepy for like 3 hours now #i think the best solution rn is to take up exercise that way id have no choice But to have a proper sleep schedule cause exhaustion #but i Refuse to do that when im around other ppl and unfortunately i have roommates #so gotta find something else

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bunnyboy-juice · 7 months ago

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blah blah blah blah blah

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elytrafemme · 2 years ago

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friendship is cool bc you get to have these funny little guys who make you happy and become a better person or whatever and laugh a lot. but then there’s the horrors (trying to see and message them frequently enough when you know you can’t possibly juggle all of them all at once and never knowing the best answer)

#nightmare.personal #maybe i tell my irls to fuck off for a week so i can just get to work repairing all my online relationships #i won't actually do that but like. my social battery is so fucked #also there's the other issues but we don't talk aboutu those <- diseased interpersonally #we do talk abt those a lot but im turning over a new leaf to be normal #this is late night confessionals. hi i know cool people. wish i fucking knew how to talk to anybody #its so stupid too bc when i message them or join a vc everyone accepts me like i was never gone and is friendly and kind and all that #but then it's like. do ppl think im not committing. do they think i don't care #and like how do i convince people i care when im barely here and barely know whats going on #idk. wish klav was here he's better at fucking online things i think #i think im doing good socializing with my irls at least. like scheduling hangouts #when my gf comes back i need to see her like asap bc my brain is fucking obliterating itself but thats unrelated #sorry this is litrally late night thoughts #dont rb btw #my irl social life is better and i think part of me sees that as more important?#like obviously all my friends are important to me diffeerently but. if i disappear on an irl for a while they'll give me shit for it #versus online that's just life you know but. i don't know.#sometimes i wonder if my online friends know how much they mean to me and i realize they probably don't and i get scared #and then i wonder how all of them have to feel about me at that point and we don't really have to go into that but like #i don't know. it's always a little a lot scary #and people seem to be so natural at doing this online but i meanwhile just fucking can't #i'm allergic to discord servers its a thing. except the one im active in which makes me happy but i still forget to talk there all the time #so im still allergic but im choosing to partake. its like the lactose intolerance of the whole group

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chiefguideandcentre · 2 months ago

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It’s really strange, disappointing, and honestly just plain sad to hear any woman claim to not be a feminist and hate feminism, especially woman from the older generations. The older generation woman are wild. I mean really, do y’all hate yourselves that much? Are you really that beaten down? You hear woman-haters claim “feminists obviously hate men and want them to live underground!! That’s what feminism is!, it’s evil!” And these older women are just like yes well obviously that checks out, that’s absolutely what feminism is, it can’t possibly mean anything else and I should just do a quick google search. It’s just like?? How can that possibly make sense to you? You’re obviously the only women in the world, the ones who haven’t had the wool pulled over their eyes, you’re the select few to get out from under feminism’s dastardly clutches. These younger generations are so dumb, such silly little girls believing in something as bad as *check notes* equality. What evil nonsense, but not you!!!

#it’s so disheartening #you’re just like feminism is just supporting both women and men and wanting things to be more equal #and some grown woman comes at you like nu uh! that’s clearly bad!!!!#like there’s no arguing with these woman especially the older ones #do you really hate yourselves that much??#you say to them do you think there should be equality between me. and women and they’re like well yeah #and then you say well that’s feminism you are a feminist #the offense they take!#it’s like hearing that gives them some kind of brain anyeresu #and they just can’t process it and get so mad #it’s sad to see the older generation woman like this #and just plain scary to see the younger ones like this #like damn who managed to get to y’all #bunch of pick me’s #and they are so proud of themselves for hating feminism too acting like they are really doing something here #well IM not a feminist *immediately looks at the closest man wanting their approval*#it’s like ppl that think the earth is flat and are so proud of that #I feel like I’m patting these women on the head going mm hmm yes dear gold star #🙄

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orcelito · 7 months ago

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I guess I should start looking into apartments for next year. I don't know where I'm going to be working after I graduate yet, but I'll have a car by then, so it shouldn't matter too much. And I'm hesitant to move when I don't know where I'm going to end up... but I will be honest, I cannot live in this place for another year. They've increased the rent by a literal 50% since I started living here 3 years ago, the air conditioning doesn't work, I have to do laundry by *coin operation*, and worst of all there is no patio or balcony to speak of. I need outdoor seating!!! For my mental health!!!! Adding in the fact that it's far too cramped with all the furniture I got from my dad...

Yeah. Even if I only live there for a year, I Got to move.

Gonna be working on sorting through all the shit in my apartment, especially the boxes from my dad. Once I get a car, I wanna make it my personal project in the next year to cut down on the shit that I own. Go through my old clothes and donate anything that I Never wear and Never would. The goal being that by the time I do move, I want there to not be a fucking boatload of shit to move. There's still all this furniture but like. Eh. Ya kno. Still wanna make it better than it could be.

#speculation nation #dont have my dad to help me move anymore. which means im gonna have to figure out how to take this bed frame apart.#ive never done it before. it was always him doing it. but im fairly smart. it's probably pretty intuitive.#just. kinda sucks. and i'll have to keep track of what screws go where and whatever for putting it back together.#i think i wanna get a 2 bedroom apartment. even if it's just me. so i can have a room i can shut off from the cats #primarily for plants lol. and maybe some other shit. stuff i dont want the cats to access.#i wonder if it'd be too early to start looking for an apartment for like... june of next year.#the earlier the better if i wanna secure something nice. but also idk if theyd even have things listed for a year from now.#wouldnt hurt to look at least. put some feelers out. see what's available out there.#i'll kind of miss this place. my first apartment ive lived in on my own. and the last place that both sammy and cassy lived.#i will be honest. kind of a shithole. but it's mine yk?#but ive outgrown it. and also i could Really do without all the bugs from having a partial basement unit hfksbfmd #might look online later today. just to see.#housing around here is in pretty high demand bc of the college so if i can secure smth early. that's probably the best for me.#give me more choices. etc etc. ya kno.#important for me to think about this now anyways bc my rental company is gonna b pestering me in like a month or two to decide if ill renew #give me a reduced offer for rent from what theyd be increasing it to. which. lmfao. 50% increase is 'reduced' from what it could be.#i... really am so lucky that my dad had his life insurance policy set up like he did.#having money to fall back on makes all of this a lot less scary. up to and including being able to hire ppl to help me move #if. it comes to that. my family would still in general be willing to help probably. but man we're all getting older.#and i know i got too much shit. so. if it came down to it. yeah i could hire moving helpers. if i needed to.#and it makes me feel more secure in moving despite not having a job lined up yet #bc i still have Plenty of money. unless the next apartment is like horrifically expensive i could last several years with what i got.#so. yeah. looking into moving next year. big things. it's the time to think about it though.

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bionic-penis · 9 months ago

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Erm !! Lil rant in da tags bc !! Erm !!

#idk but i feel like im going in the right direction for once #i feel like i struggled for so long with so many things #and a lot of it was me but i feel like this year rlly gave me space to grow #and i have grown. i think i get to say that #im not longer lonely and sad and angry all the time. like if you compared me to who i was four years ago you would be shocked #im a lot more confident. i feel comfortable accepting ppls friendship and whatever that entails. i dont get upset as easily #i mean even just comparing me to my senior yr of highschool. or even last year #and i think a large part of that is that things dont feel so one-sided anymore. like its not just me anymore #im not the only one helping out at home anymore so i can finally focus on myself #and ive made so many great friends that have opened me up like some kind of oyster #like the amount of times ive been called an extrovert is crazy bc i have NEVER been called that before #and i rlly think its thanks to all these wonderful people who have given me a chance and a space to be unapologetically me #even if its weird or freaky or sometimes a little off #i spent a long time inside myself bc i was scared but as time goes on i feel that fear less and less #im just really glad. im like genuinely happy #n especially when i look back on my old posts where i was in so much pain im just glad we were able to get to this point #im just surrounded by immensely cool people. my partner. my friends. my professors. my doctors.#like i was making progress before but i feel like ive been able to truly start healing this year #i love you all. you know who you are. erm!! if you see this post n then see me i will pretend i never made it !!! so erm!!!#king magnum thirst trap WHEN #rambles #sowwy for the lore dump do you still think my cock is huge

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