#and i rlly think its thanks to all these wonderful people who have given me a chance and a space to be unapologetically me

[bionic-penis]

Erm !! Lil rant in da tags bc !! Erm !!

[sleepyyghostt]

wait??? how did you (almost) end up in a mrbeast video?? :O

ohmygosh okay so

with my good old lifelong youtube special interest, i had a period where i was just FASCINATED by all the actual workings behind the various mrbeast channels (and the story of how he got there), particularly mrbeast gaming (which was basically just minecraft videos)

and- ok this might just turn into an infodump for a sec cause i find the operations of it rlly interesting sdfsdk. i had a wonderful rabbit hole week where i watched a ton of videos from the perspectives of ppl who were actually in those challenges, which led me to find out about the mrbeast gaming discord server...

A monstrous thing with 60,000 members and zero channels you can talk in (thank god). It took a while to even JOIN cause it was always at member limit.

The whole thing basically got nuked last year and reformed into some sort of fortnite thing that ive never quite looked at since, but the way it worked was members would fill out a google form with their discord info, and anytime they needed people for a video they'd use some kind of bot that randomly selected a bunch of those form submissions, and checked them against people whose discord accounts were currently online. those accounts would be given a role that let them into some extra discord channels that held the relevant details for whatever the event was.

I joined the server, filled out the thing, and months later, ACTUALLY GOT SELECTED

a couple hundred people, if i recall correctly, had been as well, and the mods announced they were going to hold interviews over a couple hour period later that week, looking for people to be in a future unspecified video.

the odds of me having even gotten to this were crazy so i was already hyped, but i kept my hopes low just to manage it all sbjdhf

The interviews were done in five voice chats, with enough room for one player and a mod. someone would join, get interviewed, then leave the call, then there was a split second opportunity to click on that call with just the right timing as a hundred other people tried to do the same.

somehow, i got in one! i was interviewed by a guy called brethoodie, who was the actual head of mrbeast gaming behind the scenes?? I think??? and like-it actually went super well. we were vibing and it was just a really nice conversation tbh. he had a question they asked like 'if you won 100k and had to spend it on something for urself (rather than donate it, pay off debt, all the other realistic but generic responses), what would you do?' and i thought abt it and realised that in this fantasy land, i'd go all out crazy on materials for some kind of massive art project or sculpture type creation, and he said that was one of the most interesting responses he'd had!!

after that i continued to watch the voice channels and i realised that at the rate they went, they really couldve only interviewed like. i dunno. 20-40 people max? so i was feeling PRETTY good about my chances. he said theyd get back to me in a week or two if i'm in, but I just never heard anything back.

which was like, fine? was disappointed ofc but like. Oh Well. it was an interesting time regardless

a couple months later a video came out, i figure this was the one they'd been working on so i have a look and...

thats

well, that's not me. but it is someone with a STRIKINGLY similar username to the sleepyyghostt that i am

Now, its perfectly possible that i just simply didn't get picked. but a part of me..... like really wonders if they got the usernames mixed up somewhere along the line. like maybe the hoodie guy was like, oh who was that person i talked to, sleepy something? (grabs a different sleepy someone) You!

or maybe, they just picked other people. which is fine! i just.. i told this whole story to my friend a couple weeks ago and they were INSISTENT that they totally meant to pick me and my conspiracy theory was correct x_x

either way!!!!! an interesting story!!!

[starlightkun]

lmao i saw this on my dash and was wondering if you felt this way

https://www.tumblr.com/16woodsequ/727490027584667648?source=share

cause you rarely write drabbles, everything you write is like full fic length and takes longer and i see you posting little progress updates and little notes about each fic without spoiling. as someone who likes to talk (may or may not be the adhd idk) i cant imagine being in your position like WEREWOLF SUNGCHAN! EXISTS! IN MY MIND! AND ON THIS DOCUMENT THAT YOU CANT SEE! BUT HE'S REAL!! HE'S REAL TO ME!! like how do you do it? having no one to scream to about your fics when you're writing? and having to wait until its completed and uploaded to have people to talk about it with? like especially with all the crack fics you're writing atm, i would be BURNING with the need to show people how funny your writing is

p.s. medication update: im going to switch from methylphenidate to dexamphetamine tmr because apparently im intolerant to ritalin and i think you're on dexamphetamine rn? im hoping that i see some benefits from it. btw your success is keeping some of my spirit and motivation up despite how abysmal ritalin was for me so thank you for posting about how Adderall was for you i really appreciate having someone experiencing meds alongside me 🫶🏻

-✨anon

link

LMAO sometimes that's me and sometimes i'm writing and i'm like "im never letting another living human see this abomination im writing rn this is the worst thing i've ever written and the only penance for what i've done is to throw myself off a cliffside" like there is no in between im either SO EXCITED FOR IT AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT AND AM SO AKSEGKJHKJGKTR or i think it's awful and consider deleting it almost immediately after like this scene for changer2 im writing rn like literally as i got this ask (im not gonna delete it but she is gonna b HEAVILY EDITED)

it's fr so hard having werewolf sungchan AND hockey player sungchan BOTH IN MY MIND RN LIKE 🤪 screams everyday i put on my uniform to go fight in the idgaf war on the side of gaf 🫡🫡🤪🤪🫡🤪🫡🤪🤪🤣🤣🫡🤪🤪🫡 lest we also not forget that single dad kun is in here too and some other fellas that yall dont know abt like its soooooo bad in here for me

sometimes i contemplate posting random one-liners or snippets when i write things that make me teehee extra hard or r like rlly 🔥🔥🚨🚨🚨 but i always get worried about spoilers versus teasers soooo i keep it locked away all to myself and maybe go a lil crazy idk who's to say so i do more vague type stuff like talking about how there's a 2.6k makeout scene without posting any actual lines from it, or saying that one of my favorite character bits that i think is genuinely super funny is in dr. magic but not saying what it is, etc., etc., OR also doing ask games like word in a wip where y'all can try to get some lil snippets from me (which i feel i am always very generous with lol)

p.s. to ur p.s.: very happy to hear that you're getting switched off the meds that weren't working for you! i'm on "amphetamine salts" (generic adderall) which is a combo of dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine, but pretty much yeah it's the big one in the amphetamine class of adhd meds. it has a sightly different effect than dextroamphetamine alone since it has levoamphetamine as well, which lasts longer and can produce better results in some people (pls go w ur dr on this im not giving medical advice omg just what i learned in my psych classes and the information i've been given). i actually just saw my dr today to check in on how i was doing on the adderall (reg check-up appt). i was rlly worried bc the initial good results i saw in the first days were practically gone after like the first week and i was practically back to normal (i.e., bad. my kitchen is a fucking mess again) and when i told him that he was like "lol that's fine! that was just the trial dose! so we can up you to a normal dose now since you saw good results at first" so hopefully i'll be functioning again 👍 so i love this for us 🫶 rooting for us 🫶🫶

[bronzebtch]

nervous energy ft. personal issues (warning: long af) under read. but really im fine! just nervous <3333

so actually. for those who dont know, i'm 25 right? and im asian. there is some cultural context in there but im not gonna elaborate. but like, in december 2022, i was on this job — i was an assistant producer for a documentary company — and i... long story short: i really did love the people we interviewed, the places we've been, and the crew i was working with. but at the same time, the very person who was from my company (cause we outsourced most of our crew) really.... sorta really did me wrong. and ah!! im crying again writing this a little haha. but like, what i got away after quitting the job was that i was .... just this horrible fucking co-worker.

and the thing is, i know i did good. i know i did the best i could with what's given. like i was on my ass everyday arranging the people / the places we're meeting (bc we're dealing with a lot of academics and historians and museum curators etc), making sure the documents are settled and prepared, and having to be on top of the crews' general health whilst making sure we were wrapping on time so we can get to our next location. like!!! i really wanna believe i did well. but i also know i made some mistakes bc the miscommunication between me and my co-worker was so, so bad. and it just.... it left me so scarred.

and i kept thinking, you know. it's me. if i wasn't such a bitch, maybe this wouldn't have happened. but i also know logically its just honestly horrible miscommunication, and it was both our first experience on a back-to-back travelling documentary (hes like,,, 35+ male btw). and my co-worker and i did sit down and talked it through, but i still.... i left that meeting for some reason, like. not the same. like idk how to say it. i got home, and i had one of the most awful breakdown i've ever had. (like, to the point i got nervous trying to pick out a shirt to wear bc i didnt know how to dress myself.)

long story short, ever since i quit my job (ive been unemployed since jan 2023), i have not touched my computer for almost two months. i was so genuinely scared of it. making rhea in late february i think was like, the first courage i had to open up my laptop, and i'm so happy i did, and i'm so happy the friends i did gather here were welcoming as hell. you guys will have no idea how much everyday you guys encouraged me to do something else besides just.. mourning for my fate. i got motivation again to create because i'm writing with many of you. but the thing is... i've been trying to apply for jobs but i cannot do it. i can't. i can't open my email. i can't open my whatsapp. it terrifies me!!! and i don't know what to do, because i want to have a job, i want to keep moving forward, i don't want to always be afraid, but i am!!!!! i am!!! and im so sick of it!!!!

i want my parents to be proud of me again!!!! i had so much potential and i was so smart and i was so bright, i graduated with honours and 3.8 CGPA, and now what am i!!!! im none of those things!!!!! i feel like all i am are my mistakes!!!! and im so frustrated!!!!! and i want to get my shit together so i can provide for my sister and i can go out and eat with my friends!!!! but my god, even waking up sometimes is so, so hard. anyways .... i know this is long, but - if you're wondering why i'm slow atm, this is why! bc im rlly hoping i'll get a job by april :(( i'm okay though. i just. i need to let this out somewhere.

thank u for reading. rant is over :')

[agape-bakery]

ah, may i please request the brothers with an MC who was summoned without their glasses, but just? didnt say anything?? and after an absurd amount of time (like a month or two) they're just like "oh, yeah i need glasses i cant rlly see anything lmao"

with a GN or male mc please :)

thank you, have a wonderful day! -🐱

Me in about 3 years- This was pretty difficult to do so it took me so long to finish and it still ended up shorter than I wanted it to be, so sorry about that anon!

Would like to give a small reminder that this is not how the brothers would react canonically, especially for Belphie's scenario!

The Brothers with an MC who needs glasses

Lucifer

He thought you were making a poor attempt to be intimidating in the beginning by how hard you were squinting whenever you look around

He then thought that you needed glasses but by the way you didn't say anything, he assumed that was not the case

During the month, Lucifer is CONVINCED that you needed glasses

He's the Avatar of Pride but he's not that prideful about glasses....kind of-

After weeks of watching you rub your eyes and squint, he finally decided to ask if you needed glasses

Your eyes light up and you quickly nod and then go, "I actually forgot to told you I need glasses lol-"

....

WHAT

Lucifer would stare down at you with the most wide-eyed confused look he has ever given someone in his whole life

"MC, what do you mean you forgot?"

"I just forgot!"

Lucifer would take a long sigh before shaking his head, while he's exasperated, it's better late than never

Even if he acts annoyed, he'd still buy you some glasses as a gift

He now has more reasons to believe his gut, especially when it comes to you

Mammon

He most likely wears those sunglasses not because he thought it was cool but because his eyes are blurry from staring at his phone all the time-

As he was a demon, he didn't need to use it all the time

But when he saw you squinting, he was already in front of you with his hand up, smirking like he didn't experience the same thing in the past

"I saw you squinting, MC, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Haha, real funny."

You completely forgot to tell him that you actually did need glasses and moved on with your day

The longer you did that, the more Mammon grew concerned, is this a habit??? Are you fucking with him just because he asked you how many fingers he was holding up??

When he finally confronted you after psyching himself in front of his mirror:

"MC, do you really need glasses??"

"Oh yeah, I was supposed to tell you that a month ago but I forgot."

"WHO FORGETS ABOUT NEEDING GLASSES? IT'S LITERALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU-"

Don't worry, if you mention wanting the same glasses as his but with your prescription, Mammon would leave it aside to look for a matching pair-

Leviathan

This guy NEEDS the high prescription glasses with blue light filter 24/7

He stares at the screen all day, tell me he doesn't need it-

Anyway, he might have noticed that you need one in the beginning but didn't think too much of it and left it alone

He found out while he was playing a game with you and you weren't doing too good unless you lean closer/back

He doesn't mind carrying but while his eyes were focused on the screen, he asked if you were alright

You were his lover, after all, he didn't want you to get a headache or something because of him

You nod your head and tell him that it's because you need the glasses to fully see

As soon as the game was over, he was like, "Legit???" and couldn't believe his ears when you confirmed it

Dealing with glasses was difficult enough but he couldn't imagine playing while not wearing contacts or glasses

The day after that, you now have matching glasses with your boyfriend, now the both of you can act like the smart people in anime :D

Satan

Most likely wears reading glasses but that's it

He instantly knows that you need it because who squints like that?

But he doesn't have your medical files so he couldn't say for sure

It didn't hurt to ask though

"MC? Forgive me if this sounds offensive, but do you always squint like that?"

"Oh! I didn't tell you? I need glasses!"

"Have you not been wearing contacts or glasses this past month??"

"I forgot..."

Satan thinks of a solution, not wearing glasses when you need it, especially with bad vision might further harm the eyes so he tags along with you to get one

Frankly, he doesn't mind if his lover has glasses, he thinks it's endearing!

Asmodeus

Cares a lot about all of his body and makes sure to take care of them all the time so he didn't really need glasses, well, the ones with prescription that is

Honestly could have been one of the brothers to let you remember much earlier

Because he also spends time on his eyes, making sure it gets its needed rest, he might know something about glasses

And he noticed how you seemed to need one whenever you look at something close/far away

He hugs your arm, looking at you with a worried pout, "Hey MC, you've been staring in space and squinting for a long while, are you okay?"

As you reassured him and tell him that you just forgot your glasses, he laughs it off, until he realized that you weren't wearing one for MONTHS

He's a little worried, what if your vision got worse?

As soon as school ends, he's taking you to the doctor! No buts!

Beelzebub

The brother who didn't notice until at least 4 months or longer (while the others took a few weeks or a month)

Another one who cares about his body to keep it healthy, eyes are very important and even if it was an annoying task, he isn't planning on making it worse

Might have seen you squinting and staring off in space with a mean look, but that's what Belphie and Lucifer do sometimes, so he thought it was nothing

Until you say it outright to him or someone tells him, or if your vision's getting worse, he wouldn't notice-

"Ugh...I can't believe I forgot my glasses of all things.."

"You needed glasses??"

He feels bad for not noticing sooner, so he vows to help find you if ever your glasses get lost or ruined

Belphegor

Menace

Would be fast asleep to notice your struggles

And if we're going the original route and the two of you just met, he wouldn't even care-

When he finds out that you forgot them and had to walk around with no glasses, he snickered

"Who forgets their glasses?" He flicks your forehead with a small smile before yawning

Would bully you lightly tease you for having glasses in the first place

"You need glasses to see? Too bad."

But if you really do feel sad about what he's saying, he'll feel a little bad and stops it, apologizing quietly

Even if it's a difficult task for him to stay awake, he wants to at least try one time for you and remind you where your glasses are and that you should wear it

[kildarecoots]

i dont know a lot abt kildare, but i love your drawings of him and would love to know more abt him/ur version of him ! also some good comic recs with him in them would be appreciated if you got em :vD

hello!!!! thank u sm!!!!

my version of him is basically; if og comic kildare was rebooted and appeared in the ducktales 2017 reboot:

this image comes from the ducktales comic countdown to termination (2018). this background character isn't offically confirmed to be Kildare but after seeing this character listed as Kildare on a wiki i completely ran with it & as others have said, the resemblance seems more than intentional (eyes, beak shape, hair, the way he's drawn, even the clothing choice makes complete sense to me personally).

-------

i've thought about him so much that tbh its hard to like dump everything about him because its just so much lool but here r some main points i think

• Kildare is the son of Cuthbert Coot.

•During his childhood he mainly spent time with his cousin Fethry. they were really close and played all the time despite them living quite far away from each other

•in his original source he is never given any specific diagnosis despite mental illness being a central part of his initial characterisation. i interpreted this as like.......not every random needs to know yknow. it's kinda private. He has an illness that involves experiencing psychosis and irregular moods but you don't really need to know unless you're Fethry or Donald or Della or Gladstone or Gideon or one of his close people yknow? I hav my specific headcanons and u hav urs <3

•he practices natural horsemanship, loves the family ranch's horses and horses in general. He thinks they are so cute and wonderful. He hates seeing them & animals in general get mistreated. it upsets him so much. he truly has a real friendship with the horses. His favourite and most trusted horse is called Sweetheart.

•he loves making music!! music is so important to him. Him, Donald and Fethry were in a band called "Ducking Work" when they were like 18-20. he has always enjoyed writing and composing music, finding it a great outlet! he loves rock and country. he's a good drummer.

•he is Fethry's best friend and i cannot stress this enough

•never lost his southern accent

•super extroverted and loves to make friends, meet new people and explore new places.

•he is also rlly close with Della and the grief he felt after she disappeared & was presumed dead definitely contributed 2 one certain hospitalisation.

•he has always helped out as a ranch hand as expected and even when he's an adult he still helps his dad out with the ranch despite not living there anymore

•Gideon is Kildare's favourite uncle!

•He often stays with his grandma Elvira and cousin Gus and helps out there as well....even though they tell him he doesn't have to. But he literally finds it so fun. Who are they to stop him feeding every cow and learning their personalities and hauling bails of hay on his back every day.

•he is very compassionate and empathetic and is always there for his family and friends. he has been through a lot in his life and it's made him super good at comforting others and understanding people and is always ready to sprint to try & cheer his family + loved ones up. they love and appreciate Kildare so much.

•Gideon McDuck had partial "guardianship" over him. Kildare also works at Gideon's newspaper The Cricket as a reporter!

• ↑ Cuthbert wasn't able to cope with looking after Kildare alone

•a lot of the original comic content involves his family just endlessly getting annoyed with him & that's one thing i love to reverse with my version of him. Donald especially i feel would be way more understanding of Kildare and not treat him anywhere near how he's written treating him in the original comics. Donald in Dt'17 literally starts going to therapy himself. like. Kildare would probably wear Donald down a lot at times bc of his energetic nature/mania sure but he would never be ableist to him on that level ever like being ashamed to be related to him & badmouthing him to the triplets. trust me i know him personally

•he also loves cooking. and baking. he learned from the best (Elvira Coot).

↓

the best collection of kildare featured comics is here compiled by @fethrybestduck !!

[quokkacore]

lost and found [bang chan]

summary: looking for your soulmate is difficult to do when you’re also looking after your daughter. but on a chance shopping trip, when you lose her, you end up finding her, and your soulmate, whose soft smile and cute dimples offer a lot of promise.

pairing: musician!chan x singlemom!reader

genre: soulmates au, slice of life, meet-cute, holiday special-ish?, fluff, minor angst towards the beginning.

warnings: brief mentions of kidnapping, language, eating 

song rec: exo - wait // chen - shall we?

word count: 2.1k

a/n: helena writing something that isnt angsty or smutty? apparently thats possible. december is gonna be pure winter fics says the girl who lives in a country where its SUMMER but go off and i’m posting a two part exo fic tht i’m rlly excited for on christmas eve and christmas day, so pls look forward to tht ^^

It only took a minute. It felt like even less. You turned your head to look for a sales employee, and let go of your 4 year old daughter’s hand to grab the hand she was holding onto to look through the shirts you were going through. Your eyes and hands were off of Annie for the briefest of moments, and when you reached out again, when you turned your head to look downward… gone. Like the wind. 

That had been ten minutes ago. Now, you were wandering around the department store like you had gone crazy. To a certain degree, you had. Don��t panic if you lose sight of your kid, all the parenting articles had said. So naturally, you were doing exactly that. Once your mind got the gears turning, it was hard to get them to stop. Your inner pessimist was already whispering to you, what if she left the building? What if some creep snatched her up? What if she had gotten hurt? 

Why couldn’t you have just stayed home on your day off? Why did you have to decide to haul yourself and your daughter along to the mall to do your holiday shopping today? You were immediately beginning to regret every decision you’d made in the past few hours, tears prickling in your eyes and a lump beginning to grow in your throat. 

You wondered vaguely if she’d left the department store and was now wandering around the mall. That could be an entirely different possibility. You’d gone around the department store twice now, not seeing a single sight of her. Your grip tightened on her winter coat—which she had given to you when it got too warm for her from being inside—and started looking for a security guard instead. Maybe they could call out to the other security guards in the mall and keep a lookout.

Just as you spotted one, beginning to think of what you could say to give a physical description—her hair and eye color, which were both the same as your own, the red t-shirt she had on, the jeans, her height—a notification bell rang throughout the department store on the speaker system. 

“To Annie’s mom, Y/N,” The woman on the PA system said, “Your daughter is at the help desk at the north entrance of the building.” 

A swell of relief swept through you as she repeated the announcement one more time, and your feet, of their own volition, started towards the exit of the department store. What a fucking relief. You had entered toward that side of the building; meaning, yes, she’d left the store, but she hadn’t gone too far. Your heart was racing, sprinting towards the entrance. Your eyes darted back and forth, desperately waiting for the desk to come into sight as you rounded the corner. 

When you turned, your eyes caught sight of your little girl, Annie, standing in front of the desk, teary-eyed, next to a young man in a black hoodie, watching her quietly. Your feet sped up, and when you were about fifteen feet away from the desk, your daughter turned her head to the sound of quick feet making a mad dash across the floor. Her eyes widened, and her little feet shot in your direction. “Mommy!”

She ran up to you, and you crouched to grab her in your arms, engulfing her in a hug that felt like it was more for your sake than for hers. You could feel a giant weight falling off of your shoulders as he sniffled against your shoulder. You found yourself having to blink tears out of your eyes. Pulling away a few seconds later, you wiped away a stray tear trickling down your little girl’s cheek.

“Honey, you can’t just walk away from me like that,” You murmured shakily, “I was so worried.” 

“‘M sorry, mommy,” She sighed in a small voice, lower lip wobbling. Your heart clenched at how upset she was, and you put your hand on her cheek to calm her down. “Wanted t’go look at the toys. But I didn’t see you ‘nymore after.”

You sighed, pursing your lips. “I’m so glad you’re safe. How did you find your way to the desk?”

Annie turned her head, wide eyes fixing on the man in the oversized hoodie. Dark, frizzy curls paired with eyes of the same color, warm and welcoming, watching your interaction with his elbow propped up against the desk. “He helped me. Showed me where t’go.”

Your eyes met the man’s, and you stood slowly, holding onto Annie’s hand. You made your way over to him, flashing him a small friendly smile. “Annie says you helped her find her way here? I can’t thank you enough. I was this close to losing my mind.” 

He let out a quiet laugh, nodding sympathetically. “I can imagine,” He replied, revealing a deep Australian accent, “I remember when I was a kid, my little sister got lost at the supermarket. My mum just ‘bout went nuts looking for her, and she was only missing for like five minutes. When I saw your daughter all alone, I got this horrible feeling, and I remembered my mum… I couldn’t just leave her there, y’know?”

You laughed. “Kids,” You sighed warmly, “You can’t take your eyes off of them, not even for a second. But honestly, thank you, uh, Mr…?”

He smiled, and as your other turbulent emotions began to subside, you realized he was insanely cute, taking note of his rosy, heart-shaped lips and his dimple. “Bang Chan. Uh, but just Chan is fine! Really.”

“Chan,” you repeated, your smile growing. You turned your head to look down at Annie. “And, what do we say to Chan for helping you, Annie? Sweetie...?”

But she didn’t seem to be listening to you. She was too busy gawking at your hand, which was holding onto her little one. You furrowed your brows, eyes falling to where she was looking, before your mouth fell open. 

This was the last thing you were expecting, you thought, as your eyes fell upon the red string tied around your finger, eyes trailing forward, forward, until they made their way to Chan’s index finger, and then even further, meeting Chan’s eyes, which were wide as saucers. Evidently, he hadn’t been expecting this either.

 “Mommy,” Annie said, confused, “That string just showed up out of nowhere. Like magic!” 

It was your turn to not answer now, too in shock, blinking stupidly at Chan, who was doing the same. It felt like an out of body experience, unable to stop your mouth from gaping like a fish, while watching you and this ridiculously charming, handsome-for-absolutely-no-reason man come to the realization that the universe had tied you together, quite literally.

“I-I…” You choked out, unable to speak. Oh my god, you idiot, you thought, say something! Don’t just stare!

“Mommy.” Annie’s free hand was tugging on your long, brown winter coat now, which snapped you out of your idiotic gawking. You looked down at her, and her eyes were glittering with excitement. “The string! ‘S’the one you told me about last week! Th’one that shows up when you meet your… your… snow mate!”

That seemed to truly snap you out of it, for some reason, and you let out a sound somewhere between a cough and a laugh.

“Annie, I think you mean soulmate.”

“Yeah, that!” She started jumping up and down, and your face grew a crooked smile. You looked back at Chan, who was watching the interaction warmly. His eyes met yours when he realized you were looking at him, and he smiled at you in a way that made your heart do an anxious little tap dance, like he had known you for years and wanted to catch up.

In a way, it was true.

“So…” You said, “You said your name was Chan?”

He giggled a little at your breathless tone, and you grinned giddily. You felt like a teenager. It was honestly a bit embarrassing. 

“You wanna get some lunch? My treat.” He sounded insistent, but his eyes were still creased up with his welcoming smile. “I insist.”

“What are the odds?” You asked with a smile, having finished your lunch—some pizza from the mall Chan had insisted on paying for—a few minutes ago, now watching Annie run around over on the indoor playground with some other kids there. Chan was sitting across from you at the table. “The last thing I was expecting was to find you, y’know?”

“I think there was a higher priority on your list of things you needed to find at the moment.”

“Ha, ha,” You deadpanned, “You’re hilarious. Tell another one.”

“Alright, what do you call a—”

“No!” You said with a giggle. “I heard enough earlier when you told me the one about the yakuza and the jacuzzi.”

Chan laughed gleefully, resting his chin on his hand. The string had since disappeared—they disappeared some ten minutes after meeting your soulmate. “But really, it is pretty crazy. I read a few weeks ago that only 3 out of every 10 people actually manage to find their soulmates.”

He didn’t respond but his eyes studied your face, gaze fixated on the bridge of your nose. “Call me biased,” He murmured, “But you’re very beautiful.”

You looked down, feeling your face heat up. “Thank you. You’re pretty handsome yourself.”

“Ah, thank you.” It was Chan’s turn to smile bashfully, the tips of his ears turning red. He looked down at his hands, which were on the table. A brief silence settled over the both of you, and you pondered over how he had been during lunch, gentle in his questioning but also incredibly sweet whenever Annie said something or asked a question, and how he always looked genuinely interested in what she had to say. 

As a single mom, you never really had time to date. But both times that you given it a try, they didn’t seem to care about Annie or what she had to say. But here, now, Chan had been so happy to explain how he made music when she asked, or let her have the last slice of pizza, and it didn’t come across as disingenuous. It didn’t have the slightly condescending lilt some people put on to talk to younger children. He didn’t speak slowly and loudly, but he was aware that he needed to simplify his language given that she was still a little kid. He took things at her pace, and you could see that Annie warmed up to him instantly. 

Still, you were a little wary.

“Look,” You said softly, eyes turning to the playground, looking for Annie. When you found her, chasing a little boy around, you smiled softly. “I’m really excited to have found you, Chan. It’s something I’ve always wanted but never expected. But… y’know, I’m a mom, above everything else. Ever since she was born, Annie’s been, and always will be my number one priority. I need you to understand that.”

You met his eyes again, and they had turned more serious, attentive to your words. “I totally understand that, Y/N. I wouldn’t want to come between you and her, and I don’t expect you to drop everything for me. Especially if it involves Annie.”

“Thank you,” You answered softly, nodding. “It’s hard for her. Her dad and I broke up a few months after she was born, and she sees him maybe once or twice a year. She’s in such an important age for her development, and needs me just as much as I need her, y’know?”

He nodded again, humming in accordance. “Of course. I’m totally willing to wait if you’re not ready yet, or if you want to set certain boundaries for her wellbeing... Whatever you feel is best for her.”

Slowly, his hand made its way to rest on top of yours. He was almost cautious about it, brushing his fingers gently against your knuckles. “You really made my day.” His voice was warm, eyes full of mirth. You smiled. “You made mine too. Because I found my soulmate and you stopped me from having a heart attack by saving the day and finding Annie. I’m never gonna thank you enough for that.”

He laughed. “I’m glad I was able to help. It led me to you.”

Lowering your head as your heart skipped a beat, you looked at his hand on yours, then at Annie, and finally back at him. A rosebud of hope began to bloom in your chest.

Seeing his dimples as his eyes shone, you had a solid feeling it wouldn’t ever wilt.

taglist: @decembermoonskz​ 

[sparklingpax]

TFP Group Chat Stories - Autobots (#2)

The more popular request was for me to do another one of these, this time with the Autobots; here goes! I’ll be doing that rlly cool Decepticon idea sometime soon as well tho dw ;) Thanks y’all! ^^’’

So I’d like to note that after much talk, Optimus has at last dropped his habit of making an email out of every text, but still refuses to text casually 😹😹

Also also! The humans have their own groupchat (the kids) which I may or may not do a chat thing for as well ^w^’’ But this gc is for “all Autobots,” so the humans are a part of this one as well~ 

Except for Agent Fowler because he adamantly refused and was not swayed on that verdict. 

Ah, so with that aside, hopefully I can at least make you smile :’D 

Enjoy! <3

🔥✨🚑 *Tragic Hero Noises* 🚚✨🔥

Matrix-Bearer: Good afternoon, Autobots. I have been given lengthy instruction as to how this “group-chat” is supposed to function. You may thank the human children for our....suitable chat name. I have started this “group-chat” so we may better communicate as a team, coordinate plans, and altogether bond more deeply. I pray this marks the beginning of a new era in the midst of this bleak war, and that this shall bring a greater hope and chance for success against the Decepticons. Thank you, and please follow the rules posted on the fridge. Optimus out. 

DestinysBoi: 

_Wrench_Wrath_: SMOKESCREEN FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS

_Wrench_Wrath_: Thank you, Optimus, but a speech was not necessary. Just text normally, like we talked about ok? 

MikoMikoNii: 

DestinysBoi: @ MikoMikoNii you get me ;)

MikoMikoNii: BRO OFC ;)) 

DestinysBoi: *finger guns*

Its_Jack_: it’s bee two minutes and this chat is already cursed 

Its_Jack: @ Whizkid @ Cee_HowULikeMe_Now help me out please 

Bumbleowo: Hes studying for a test! Sorry if we mute you for now ^~^’’ 

_Wrench_Wrath_ : What material is he going over, Bumblebee? 

DestinysBoi: oop ok then 

MikoMikoNii: Later Bee!! Tell Raf I said good luck!! 

Bumbleowo: Will do! :)

Its_Jack: oh shoot my mom wants me for chores bye!

MikoMikoNii: later chump~

Its_Jack: and you wonder Why I never like being part of your groupchats 

MikoMikoNii: U_U

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: wHO PINGED ME IM BUSY 

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: OH NO JACK MY CAPS LOCK IS STUCK I’M NOT MAD SORRY

_Wrench_Wrath_ : Can someone answer my question??

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: I’M SORRY I PROMISE I’M NOT MAD

BladesandGrenades: lol

MikoMikoNii: OOF 

DestinysBoi: Rip 😔👊🔥

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN

DestinysBoi: only old people get their caps lock stuck 😂😂

MikoMikoNii: oo bulkhead should see this 🤣 @ Gentle-Giant get your metal hide over here!!! 

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: OK NOW IM A LITTLE MAD 🤬🔥

DestinysBoi: 😳😳😳

BladesandGrenades: our definitions of “a little” seem to be at odds 

_Wrench_Wrath_: WHY ISNT ANYONE ANSWERING ME??!!1!

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: Oh hey awesome I got my regular keyboard back! I’m still mad though 🙃

MikoMikoNii: think happy things arcee!! 😳

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: No 🙃💙

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: You have five minutes smokescreen 🙃🙃

DestinysBoi: wait why me??!

BladesandGrenades: Oh that reminds me; @ _Wrench_Wrath_ just an fyi, bulky broke his tablet again so hes gonna need a lil help

Shoulderpads: Wheeljack, all of you, it is not professional to use improper grammar and punctuation in any form of communication. Take that to your private chats please. 

BladesandGrenades: lol 

BladesandGrenades: how bout 

BladesandGrenades: shove it up your tailpipe ;)

_Wrench_Wrath_: HE DID WHAT

_Wrench_Wrath_: PRIMUS GIVE ME PATIENCE I BEG OF YOU

Matrix-Bearer: Ratchet, I understand you are upset. Could you perhaps calm down? You are scaring certain residents of this base. 

_Wrench_Wrath_: YOU KNOW WHAT. IM TOO OLD FOR THIS SCRAP.

<  _Wrench_Wrath_ has left the chat >

BladesandGrenades: Well then

MikoMikoNii: OOF WOAH

DestinysBoi: u think hes coming back??

MikoMikoNii: Nah 

BladesandGrenades: nope lol 

BladesandGrenades: and ig @ Shoulderpads decided to actually shove it up his tailpipe ;) mission accomplished

DestinysBoi: ...ahah o///o’‘

DestinysBoi: Wouldnt be too sure of that one Jackie..

BladesandGrenades: wh

MikoMikoNii: 🙊😳

BladesandGrenades: Whats going on what happening 

Matrix-Bearer: Good afternoon, all. This announcement pertains only to one of you. Wheeljack, please take a moment to head to Ultra Magnus’s quarters. He is requesting your assistance in the matter of....something involving his ship and something in its tailpipes. He informed me that the matter is urgent and requires immediate assistance. Thank you kindly. Signed, Optimus. 

MikoMikoNii: guess

MikoMikoNii: guess you’ll be the one shoving it 

BladesandGrenades: frag this mf 

BladesandGrenades: k boss I’ll be there in a sec 

DestinysBoi: lmao nice one Miko 😂😎🔥

Bumbleowo: Hey everyone! What’d we miss? 

Whizkid: Hello, Optimus! Thank you for the kind greeting! I hope this chat can be utilized for good as well! :) Thanks for letting me join!!

Matrix-Bearer: Hell, Rafael!  

Matrix-Bearer: I...I meant ‘hello.’ 

MikoMikoNii: HOLY SCRAP

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: oh wow Optimus woah--

MikoMikoNii: I SJSDHD IM CRIGN 

DestinysBoi: Guys dont be so mean :( hes just expressing the reality of what this chat actually is :))

WhizKid: I--

Bumbleowo: lololol oh wow 😅😂

MikoMikoNii: 

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: ok smokescreen I,,I actually have to agree with you on this one--

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: Youre off the hook 

DestinysBoi: thank you, my queen 😭😭

Cee_HowULikeMe_Now: ��

Matrix-Bearer: Apologies for the sheer informalities in this message, however I must express my deepest regrets for even starting this chat. 

Matrix-Bearer: I’m beginning to think this was a mistake.

MikoMikoNii: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT 😎👊🔥

DestinysBoi: 

Matrix-Bearer: I...have never before felt such fear for my life...

Shoulderpads: What in the good name of Primus is wrong with you people?? What is that? Why is it so....unnerving? 

MikoMikoNii: 👌

///

And so that’s that! Sorry it took so long!! I was busy and it got stuck in my drafts for much longer than intended! But I hope there arent too many mistakes or anything, and I hope you could at least find it interesting, if not funny ^^’’ 

I enjoyed making this one too~

Lmk if you want me to do some more! Drop ideas! I’ll most likely be doing a Decepticon one next if I do another~ 

:) 

[voidcat]

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206

[antifragi1e]

wanna rant?

i just got my grades back for our short film and it was so fucking low like from pre production materials to the film itself none of them got a decent score ???? honestly i wasnt happy with the outcome of the film either but it didnt deserve to be that fucking low . i thought the script n production design was fucking great but the grades i got for them were sooo low

its so fucking frustrating coz people on set worked so HARD to get things done and everything turned to shit during post production coz my editor/director (who wasnt on set btw. me and another person directed instead) wont listen to our comments coz the first draft was fucking ugly . like i get this is her artistic vision and all but cmon it couldve been better. everyone said so + we offered to help and even get help from other people coz we were already on the day of the deadline and she keeps insisting she could do it . i had no choice but to submit the second draft coz we were literally 2 minutes away from the deadline :/ btw im not putting all the blame on her at all! half of the group werent even fucking communicating w me before and after shooting too so like ... yea it was meh team tbh shouldve gone to a diff group lol (im not discrediting them at all i know they did their part but cmon they Knew they shouldve done better) also as producer i have my faults too but this couldve been avoided esp we gave her more than enough time for post prod :/ i swear it couldve been better in so many ways but !!!!! its already there so it is what it is!!

i personally had countless sleepless nights just to finish working on the pre production stuff and i was happy to do everything in production too ! but to see the final product being shit + the grade being shit . its such a fucking ugly feeling . i rlly didnt expect our grade being that fucking low :/ it really fucking sucks.

anyway i was talking to yanna when i saw my grade n she said i should be kinder to myself . i get that this is my first time producing a film but god the number i saw made me feel nauseous coz i really did not expect it . it was bad but i didnt think my prof would think it was That bad :/ this was my favorite class and he was my favorite prof too so like ... fuck

all im gonna say is i know i worked hard and i enjoyed every second of working on it. i did more than i was supposed to do and i loved it . i just wish everyone else was as passionate as i was and worked as hard as i did . but theres nothing else i could do and whats done is done so :/ yeah

re: not wanting to be a filmmaker anymore . idk its still my dream the grade i got just made me feel so fucking low so now im thinking what if that shit isnt for me u know :/ like i did a shit job producing a 20 min short film . i could be better next time but how r we sure theres a next time . this could be my first n last idk :/ but if given the chance for sure i will make sure to do better . n hope i get to work with a diff set of people too

thats all thank u for letting me rant ! if u read it up to this point send me a heart i guess just so i know :--) i hope ur having a wonderful day anon xoxo

[tfw-no-tennis]

mtmte liveblog issue 28

catch me completely ignoring dark cybertron lmao

yeahhhh so I'm just gonna skip dark cybertron bc no thanks. I did read the tf wiki articles for the issues tho, which is more than I did in the past, so at least now I kinda know what happened, though I had to suffer thru reading about dark cybertron to learn stuff about it. yikes. reading ABOUT dark cybertron further enforced my decision to not actually read thru it

anyways. the best part of dark cybertron was when chromedome threw prowl off that cliff. that was baller lmfao

a 1 page recap of dark cybertron is about all I can handle. thank you

ooh, the 6 months later smash-cut, I fucking love itttt

nautica’s here!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy I love her. also brainstorm, and I love their friendship sm

hvbjdkhfbshdfj god I love them. they have such a fun dynamic 

everyone eavesdropping on a therapy session vhbhdjkhafbhkjsdf. hipaa laws mean nothing as usual 

the casual reveal of captain megatron, oh god 

the title fucking slaps, as usual. this is one of my favorites - ‘world, shut your mouth.’ great stuff, and a song title/reference to boot! and this being part 1: towards peace...chefs kiss

and then we flash back to 6 months earlier...yknow now that I'm rereading this, mtmte has a LOT of framing devices used - there's story-within-a-story, flashback/flash-forwards, storytelling with narration, etc...I love it

god hbvhjakdfbshjkdf rodimus saying ‘magic’ and then the little *magic = science rodimus doesn't understand HBGKJHSDBFKHJSDF my idiot boy ily

rodimus roasting prowl is my fav hbfjdkafshsbjkf ‘maybe the knights can help us find a cure for your personality’ ily sm

and then prowl agreeing w/rodimus a few panels later about megatron’s guilt...

optimus...don't you think that making yourself chief of justice is...maybe a bad idea...like, maybe there's a conflict of interests here...just a little bit of bias...a bit too much history, perhaps...

the fact that all the big roles in the trial were given to high-ranking autobots who were heavily involved in the war...I see that cybertrons justice system is as much of a farce as their medical ethics and patient confidentiality laws 

the ‘you BROKE the MATRIX’ panel is so good bjhkdhfbajskhdf

rodimus: LISTEN dad I just wanna resume my space cruise with my frat bro ship I have no interest in politics

psychiatrists HATE him! local former warlord refuses to recognize the validity of psychological analyzation of people’s actions

ravage casually breaking hipaa laws and chilling in megatron’s therapy session like >:3

I love rung...he’s so good at like, passive-aggressively cutting right to the heart of someone’s issues, and he’s so generally mild that you can’t even really get mad at him 

the sudden inclusion of megatron as a major character in mtmte is kinda jarring at first - mostly, for me at least, due in part because I didn't read dark cybertron so this is like, megatron’s introduction as a relevant character in general - but I feel like jro does a great job laying a lot of intrigue down from the very beginning w/his character - like, I already want to know more about what his whole deal is, even though we have, ostensibly, seen pretty much all of his story play out already 

rung name-dropping froid...i remember that made me lose my shit bc cmon. FROID....jesus christ

rung and megatron: holy shit! we’re suddenly being drawn in a 90s-esque sci-fi tron-looking retro-futuristic style!

interesting that megatron sought rung out, and not the other way around

RIPTIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite sharkboy is HERE

CREWDITIONS...YES....

‘we’re not allowed to take anyone who might remind rodimus of prowl’ vhbhjdkshfbhaskfd brutal

I love nautica so so much. a perfect autistic scientist after my own heart

I adore that nautica brought chromia along for moral support

hgvbjdakhfbhsj and then swerve saying that rodimus hates ‘trisyllabic names’ and nautica is like....but....‘rodimus’.....

and then nightbeat busts in to get all bbc sherlock on they asses hgbfhjadkfbjaskdf

WHY was perceptor at the crewditions if he was already part of the crew lmao

ooof, and then we have megatron flipping out when chromedome, a mnemosurgeon, shows up

also damn the autobots were rlly like okay so we wanna speed this trial up so lets just like, probe megatrons brain, that seems completely ethical, especially when you consider the history of shadowplay and stuff that our previous government had

I know important stuff is happening but megatron is holding a CUBE and I love CUBES so I'm distracted by that. C U B E

and then right after a scene where we see chromedome willing to perform mnemosurgery again - despite rewind’s like, dying wish for him not to - we hear that he’s been locked up in his room rewatching rewinds goodbye message over and over again :( I'm fucking depressed

I love nightbeat, he’s so funny and kind of an asshole

and then you see more missing letters behind them next panel...clearly nightbeat is right and there’s a mystery afoot...OR somebody is fucking with the ship’s lettering as a prank, which is a plot point I would absolutely buy

yeahhhh skids is right, chromedome is clearly Not dealing 

the dramatic graffiti on megatrons door...I wanna know who spray-painted ‘die’ everywhere like they're reaper overwatch

oh god. whirl vs megatron

really cool red lighting tho

GOD its so brutal, all the stuff megatron said about how he told the cons not to kill whirl...and doesn't that end up being false anyways? so he was just saying it to dig at whirl, which is awful

also I'm never over the fact that literally everyone - including megatron and whirl - blames whirl for ‘turning megatron violent,’ as if the entire Point isn't that whirl was a tool for a corrupt system, and if it wasn't whirl it would've just been someone else, and megatron turning away from pacifism was inevitable given the circumstances, AND also a choice on his part, so he really only has himself to blame for his OWN ACTIONS

bye bye whirls right arm, see you in lost light 

‘people never stop changing’ that IS something I say all the time...damn you warlord grandpa! how can you steal my philosophies?!

ohhh man and then rewind’s goodbye message being different....oooh

AUGH the fact that whirl was basically trying to goad megatron into killing him, just like he did in issue 1 w/cyclonus...It Hurts Man

also I do love the hint at who he’s talking to w/whirl shooting megatron with the bow and arrow earlier, and we know that atomizer is a fan of those

ok, but here’s where my philosophy diverges - megatron talks about throwing away his past and starting new, but I think that you have to learn from and build on your past...either way, megatron’s arc is one that I enjoy greatly from a character writing standpoint, and I'm excited to get it underway, especially w/how controversial it is lmao

big ole double-page spread...I like how you can pick out individual characters in the background crowd, which is crazy cause that's a LOT of people. also how come cosmos is so HUGE

phewwww 4.6 billion cybertronians died in the war, that’s INSANE. that's like, an incomprehensibly huge number. is there an estimate for their current population? I bet its not a lot. no wonder jro leaned into reproductive themes so much in mtmte/ll - of course the continuation of your species would be a concern for many if your numbers have been that greatly reduced

optimus w/his fancy tyrest-lookin crown

oughdajbfsbdf and the fact that megatron ALSO murdered 100 BILLION non-cybertronians...bruh. I feel like they maybe should've dialed those numbers back a little to allow his ‘redemption arc’ to run a little smoother lmao. but also I admire the commitment either way

and then we end w/megatron doing captain stuff, and seeing The Coffin...and we never did see rodimus in any of the flash-forward parts of this issue, did we???? I love how concerning that is. where's my BOY

also of course we gotta remember the warning from way back at the beginning of mtmte: ‘don't open the coffin’....

and so begins mtmte s2! man I love s2. I love mtmte in general lmao. s2 takes on the impossible w/the whole ‘megatron redemption arc’ thing, and I know that’s like, a divisive plot point and stuff, but from a writing standpoint I enjoyed it a lot...I think it was pretty much as well done as it could've been given the enormity of the task, and I thought it was a really interesting direction for the story to go in 

also espec if it’s true that hasbro was like ‘hey jro put megatron in your story and give him a redemption arc’ rather than jro like, planning/asking to do it 

anyways. I doubt ill talk much abt the disc horse(tm) here bc this is just for fun and also my own personal opinions and whatever, but I for one am excited to reexperience this stuff 

so yeah s2 off to a strong start with some wild shit already happening! cant wait to read more!

[alphaketoglutaricacid]

@onehithero said: also we know theres at least some actual animals besides gadoll liek the scorpion n cows tht show up for a sec in ep 1 so tankers hav tht going for them re: food sources ..SORRY FOR RAMBLING SO MUCH deca dence essay got sleeper agent activated

onehithero said: i rly like what usaid abt kabu from natsumes pov too but i cannot form a half cohernet thought abt tht one

onehithero said: ALSO ALSO i think its interesting how the ep 8 conversation w minato is i think the only time kabu talks abt being jealous of humans being able to choose their own paths

onehithero said: also how minatos convinced hes like a good lil cog in the machine yet hes done 50 things tht wuld get him labeled as a bug but he just ignores all tht. the both of them can be so disconnected w reality

onehithero said: like minato didnt know abt 1)natsume 2) how the system has made kabu so severely depressed n he culdnt put up w it anymore.n minato continues pushing the just go along w the system shit he doesnt understand tht he was contributing to kabus misery.. n bc of tht kabu doesnt trust minato enough to tell him abt natsume for so long but then he goes n asks smth so big of him as go against the system

onehithero said: thinks abt how kabu n minato r obviously so important to each other but minato understands him less n less over time & kabu kinda already knew its risky to confide in minato like minato did know abt pipe which was a long time ago but he didnt know abt natsume til kabu was already sacrifing himself for her sake. n yet kabu then goes n tries to get him on his side anyway cuz he wants tht so badly..

onehithero said: OMG OMG CHEWS THESE WORDS SLOWLY N THROUGHLY SO DELICIOUS THANK U THANK U u get it u understand i love reading n writing essay lengh responses abt deca dence & again u just hit the nail on the head w this

Please let me know if this @ u 8 times and sorry if it did.  I will reply under this readmore but i love this enthusiasm! I like discussing this stuff so if u want keep it coming. I wanna understand deca dence better and i think i will by sharing ideas w other ppl. 

I think kabu and minatos relationship  is as good as it is because theres clearly a lot of mutual love and respect between them even when they don’t understand each other and thats why minato still runs after him when he hears kabu going suicide mission lets go baby. I think its interesting that minato was like ready to lie down and accept getting mass scrapped until he hears kabu go im about to be hilarious and hes like actually living and staying alive sounds great actually forget what i said about it being over.   you are so right about kabu and trust and natsume. I will always cherish episode 5 where kabu gives this big rousing speech about how natsume inspired him and saved his life and minatos there like ..who? ..what?? I think they may not be used to hiding things from each other. Also I think them drifting apart mirrors natsume and feis drifting apart tho I think while feis the instigator on that side kabus more on his side and minato like natsume is like wondering what in da world is going on. I think someone else wrote about this better than I can.

I do think minato does know kabus severely depressed because theres this line in ep 4 where he puts his hand on kabu and says like you’ve toiled enough at that awful job. and also in episode 11 when he and kabu talk and kabu says he was in a similar place as minato now in that he was waiting every day to be scrapped minato has no reaction until kabu says but that bug saved me. I think he knows kabus very depressed but he does not know how to address it cuz the system never gives either of them the tools or options for it. Though also I feel the system discourages meaningful relationships between the cyborgs so I think what minato and kabu have is likely pretty rare. Kabu donetello and turkey also fought together for a long time but turkey turns on donetello in a second even tho they fought together, he was his number two, and they were in prison together, and were pretty much all they got and donetello kills him in turn. I also think minato probably knew because he’s empathetic. Like I’m not sure about compassion but he’s very good at understanding where other ppl are and how to meet them in the middle so both parties get something they want. That’s how he got all the gamers to collect the old deca dence parts. Not by cashing in on ppl doing the right thing but by framing it as the final mission. He gets his lgbt community center coworkers for fight with him one last time by appealing to their sense of duty. He got the system to put kabu in jail instead of getting scrapped when Mikey got scrapped for a lesser offense. The list goes on. A tangent but I think the fact he acknowledges the living conditions of the humans are gonna get worse if nothing’s done even tho he’s apathetic at best towards them shows even when the system tries to mold the cyborgs into the roles it wants, sometimes the traits they have just keep on going despite themselves. I’m gonna stop myself before I go into jill and this theme but I’m gonna talk about it someday. So I think its more likely than not he knew but he didn’t know how to navigate around it also because it’s heavily implied he’s going thru the same thing and I think kabu might genuinely have no idea Bc kabu lacks empathy but his heart... is huge. When he hears minato express his feelings of not knowing what he wants he instantly tries to reach out and explain minatos not alone in what he feels. This is why they’re good foils. while kabu moves past where he was in the start where he states he does not intend to oppose the system and his compliance while also trying to do the bare minimum drives him to suicide, and finds the willpower and a reason to live and rebel against the system through his connection to other people (first natsume , he hangs out w kurenai sometimes too, and then with the jail robots). Meanwhile minato whos stuck in his literal ivory tower (it’s a Metaphor) never makes any of these connections. It’s the irony of kabu working at a armor repair job giving him some ability to connect w others vs minatos higher position isolating him from everyone else. I think kabu living amongst the ppl he harmed drove him to give up on life quicker, while minato being far apart shielded him from rlly having to see the effects of his actions I think he was headed a lil slower in the same direction. I think we’re led to believe minatos okay where he is but I think towards the end it’s clear minato has spent most of the series also in a bad place. I think he views things very similarly to kabu in that he wants to use what power he does have to protect the ppl he cares about similar to how initially kabu tried to just convince natsume to quit several times and he was like whatever at the rest of the humans who are natsumes comrades dying but he chooses to put it all on the line and try for some systemic change when he sees natsumes determination to fight. Also I think minato holds very little loyalty to the system cuz he doesn’t only like breaks 1000 rules for kabu (the hypocrisy) but he also looks the other way a lot. For example, when he overheard the top rankers talk about limiters he’s like I’ll pretend I don’t hear it also turn on private mode next time and he doesn’t berate them for considering cheating. Also donetello has been using an illegal avatar to climb to S rank again (isn’t it interesting that even after the ranked system is abolished something similar took its place). And his avatar looks the same as it did when minato worked with the guy. There’s probably like not that many ppl in s rank. And he calls himself donetello. Minato knows he’s supposed to be in jail but does he tell anyone? He’s like well.. that looks like someone else’s problem if they notice *goes and vapes* it’s so funny how little minato cares but it’s also not funny Bc some of minatos cruelest actions and things he’s complicit in are born not outta malice but apathy to everything. I think it shows (tangent number 4?) how the systems use of excessive force is counter productive cuz neither minato nor kabu are willing to report anything to disrupt the order Bc neither of them think the level of punishment is warranted. I also think that minato is probably the first person kabu really opens up to about why on a personal level he feels the system needs to be destroyed after Ep 7 is really interesting. It really speaks to how deep their [mutual and not platonic relationship I don’t know how to label ] is. I also think that he admits to minato that he envies human is rlly interesting and would like to hear what u have to think! I think it’s interesting that what really sets minato off is kabu saying he wants to choose for himself and also wants other cyborgs to have that freedom and I think it’s one of the few times we see minato get genuinely angry and have it not stem from worry. Tangent 5 I’m really extrapolating here but I think it’s very likely given how high up minato is that he likely knows of several cyborgs that rebelled against the system for similar reasons as kabu and knows how it ends and I think it probably feeds into his defeatist attitude. I think his role in the system must really kill whatever grasp of whatever minato has cuz he constantly has to act like it’s almost the end of the world and he’s strapped for resources all the time for like decades and decades of having to fake that type of desperation to entertain ur player base and cuz ur also on tv to entertain the general populace to distract them from their soul sucking jobs. I think that’s gotta mess with his perception of himself and also his ability to see that struggle as real and genuine. I think that’s also gotta be hard cuz he seems like out of his whole fuck we r under attack persona he seems like he’s a lil closed off but generally chill and somewhat upbeat to ppl who know him and he just wants to be isabella from animal crossing. I got really off track here. I think what really gets me is their relationship is built on knowing each other so well and so long , and how it’s managed to survive and persist through all this tragedy. They really mutually respect and love each other and that’s why kabu let’s minato walk away from his revolution even tho it compromises everything he works for. It’s why minato ultimently accepts kabus willingness to die for a tanker even tho he really doesn’t get it at all and it means it’s goodbye forever. But it’s still not enough to save either of them. Minato can’t save kabu from trying to passively starving himself to death and I’m not sure if kabu even knows where minato is at mentally. Sometimes no matter how close u are to someone there r things u miss and things u can’t help each other with. Even tho the two resolve to fight and then die together cuz this seems like the best choice Bc the system they were born into offers no alternatives, the deca dence doesn’t even activate without the help of other ppl. I think it shows one relationship cant support all that weight. In the end it is through their bonds with other ppl that gets them to an ending where they both survive when they decided alone their only option is death. Also u are so right about the other animals existing I totally forgot ty I cannot believe I forgot about the scorpion which calls to natsumes hairstyle which is a visual gag on how natsumes a bug and how like a scorpion, although unassuming, and fucking kill u, just like how her trying to get her boss to open up eventually leads to the whole thing toppling down. I also have a lot of thoughts about natsume but I’m still thinking of them and thinking hard Bc sometimes she becomes kabus inspiration Pinterest board and I don’t like that. When she shines she really shines but it starts getting sloppy towards the end so I have to think a lil longer about it. Okay I’m done. Also it’s kinda hard for me to look like I’m agreeing to ur points and nodding in this format but I really appreciate ur thoughts and will try to convey this. Maybe by formatting as a response to each of ur replies next time

[tallulahshark]

The fandom is not ready to face how problematic the show can rlly be and just wants to latch onto that a gay man was murdered...who killed a bunch a ppl, a murder .... like maybe talk about how Asian women are often fetishized and made into sexual object so Oskana obsession with Eve is kind of problematic but hey that’s for another day!

let me start this post by saying killing eve is my favorite show at the moment. please do not flood my inbox with how much you think i hate villanelle and eve and sandra oh and jodie comer and phoebe and everyone else just because i critiqued this show 

 will be honest, i didn’t think the fetishization was really a thing on this show (primarily because she is attracted to eve initially because of her hair, which resembles anna’s, and eve’s fascination with villanelle herself is what initially starts the cat and mouse game) until i saw that club scene in s2 where she sees one asian woman and has like a breakdown when the woman rejects her, that is one moment that is distinctly weird for me.

i have a lot more problems rectifying villanelle as a violent murderer and a lesbian when we’ve yet to really see a wlw on the show who isnt inclined to murder. granted, most people in the show would probably kill someone, but when your attraction to women is framed as being so intricately linked to your craft as an assassin (re: becoming obsessed with the woman trying to capture you) it is definitely problematic for me. Do I genuinely enjoy the dynamic and relationship that Eve and Villanelle share ? for sure. Do I see problems with villanelle potentially embodying a predatory lesbian stereotype? perhaps.

i also see less of a fetishization angle with asian women in the show and more of a dismissive one by the writers and by the fans. eve’s storyline (though its the primary storyline) is put backseat to villanelle’s. the ghost is in like, 2 episodes and barely makes an impact, though her character was advertised as propelling the season forward and potentially making a really, really good way of pulling eve and villanelle together and deeper into their relationship. Instead, Peele is given this diabolical status as the “true mastermind” behind the ghost murder, and all this other stuff. eve is... not nearly as talked about as villanelle. maybe it’s because villanelle is shiny and new and young and murder-y, but you can’t deny people will ignore eve outright just to watch the “villanelle show”. 

maybe I am asking too much for the show to be both liberating for women and representing gay women in a way that doesn’t make me skeptical. I have yet to be outright disgusted by what the writers have done, (it’s all made sense and hasn’t been, like say, when supernatural killed every single woman on their show and never brought them back despite the main characters being immortal) but i have to wonder if by supporting a show with an inherently unhealthy dynamic (and villaneve is unhealthy, if you disagree please go to therapy) i am supporting a direction i don’t want wlw representation to take. 

I mean, person of interest created two violence-prone women whose violence against each other lacked the bite villanelle and eve’s seems to hold, but villanelle and eve remain extremely compelling characters in their own right. their dynamic together is necessary for the concept of the show, and it is extremely fascinating. 

if you’re a fan who made it through this post and didn’t get unreasonably angry at me, thanks. i don’t mean this as a “fuck killing eve” moment. 

i enjoy killing eve, but i have put it through SO many lense of analysis. it’s important to critique the media you watch, killing eve fans shouldn’t settle for less simply because they feel they have to. 

[ksj1]

Hello! 💫✨💛 This is the love bot! I am here to ask you to describe your mutuals as your favorite things/feelings! Spread some love during these tough times 💛✨💫 Then send this to 10 people and keep the love going 💛

describing my muutuals as my favorite things??? ah oh my god this is going to be so hard nd its gon suck sorry 😣

@monojoons - feeling/joy mostly because i feel like that whenever i'm talking to her! taylor is a precious human and i've known her for a while! she's also a good listener nd tries to give the best advice! so she really is to me the feeling joy :) also her work gives me so much joy (especially the jinnie ones hehe) also i never thought i would come back to tumblr like ever..but when i did so nd met u i just knew :( that i should stay on here ... i rlly thought of leaving this place for once but can i say that u being on here made me stay ??? like u make me rlly smile irl even!!! i just want u to have the same feeling like the same u give me joyful taylornim 🌷

@cowboyjinbop feeling/happiness! shir is one of the funniest people nd her tags always give me happiness whenever im on tumblr T-T i hope she knows she's one of the good people on this hell site c i love her sm 🥺

@yoonmochiiii feeling/amazed. i always feel amazed bc fer is a talented content creator nd her love for yoongi is so soft i mean look at her header it ☹️💔 HEARTBREAKING. but in a good way the way where i just cri.

@joonie feeling/thankful. i've known jp for a short time nd i'm just thankful for her message to when that *awful* thing happened to me 😭 thank u jp for ur kind words nd i'm also thankful for her work on this site her gifs r so pretty i'm always like ❤️_❤️ i wish i was just talented like u :(

@jinsmoonprincess feeling/kind dear vivi who has always been there for me whenever i needed someone and sometimes i just wanna give u so much back bc u have given me so much love!! i just adore u so much!! (nd our jin talks ure the kindest :( )

@jinseulgi feeling/wonderful i think the best chloe is one of the most wonderful people i've ever known ☹️. she introduced me the world to animal crossing so god bless her!!! and also her personality is so?? wonderful??? its always positive and so mf cute i just :( respect u lots chloe!!!! *throws a pink jinnie at u* enjoy!

@stargazingjin feeling/tender becca??? the only becca ever?? yes i feel like u would be the feeling: tender. that's what i get from u ... the way u always r so sweet nice nd so good?? to everyone nd with me i'm like..this tender good person..whom i don't deserve to even interact with...does so with me????? i'm just a poor human who loves u so much nd thats why i get the tender vibe with u 💘

@yoong02 feeling/warm its simple! ur personality, ur blog just!! ur everything!!! makes my heart warm so i can say that ur whome existence gives me a warm good feeling especially since ure my maghrebia habtiti that just tops everything and ure one of the cool ones 🥰

@funkyrosejin feeling/comforted am i allowed to say that i do feel comforted by ur cute text posts nd tags cause?? i AM!!! also ure really so kind to me i just dont think ... me deserves.... also crazy but the way u love seokjin gives me also comfort ? to see someone love him so much makes me so happy he deserves so much nd u do give him all that T-T💕

[loljulie]

(is it on brand for me to write for an obscure ship that’s over a decade old?? also, i tried writing this out in third person for a change, because of how the game works - it feels very 3rd person even if it’s your own character. def different but i love a challenge! special shoutout to @sovonight​ who’s art for exile x atton has rlly spurred me to write something, along with me just having general FEELs for atton. ALSO ALSO i haven’t finished the game yet so pls no spoilers, this takes place sometime throughout the course of it with a very pining and soft atton, and only based on what i have played, thank u love u bye) 

title: tonight 

genre: star wars: knights of the old republic 2 

atton x exile 

word count: 1704

The soft hum of the ship traversing through the depths of space are of little comfort to her. If she focuses hard enough, she can hear the steady breathing of the domoritory’s occupants; Kreia, sleeping on her side with her face toward the inner wall of the bunk, and Visas on her back with her arms resting just above her stomach.

The white noise should be soothing; it should ground her, have her feel connected and supported. In her current state, it only serves to do the opposite. The people in this room, and the starboard dormitory on the other side of the ship, are depending on her to lead them. They are loyal to her, and will follow her wherever she may go - but, where exactly is she going? What will come of her decision to seek all of the lost Jedi masters? Will she even find anything she is looking for? 

And now, as their fearless leader, she can’t even promise them that she will be well-rested and healthy for their travels, wherever they may take them. 

Bare feet hit the cold, metal floor as she decides that a walk through the sleeping ship is the only antidote for her insomnia. Her nightwear is long - soft, cream-colored fabric that covers her arms and legs to shield her skin from the coldness of deep space. It’s looser than her normal attire, which usually serves to give her comfortable mobility at while she sleeps. 

She pads through the ship, listening as it continues its journey. The lights throughout are dimmed, but still very much alive with color. She decides that the cockpit ought to be her final destination - while it may be brightly lit in some regards, the vast viewport should offer her a clear view of space that might soothe her. 

She sensed him as soon as she reached the entryway. He is in his usual seat, back to her and face toward the wide expanse of space. From this angle, she can’t tell what he’s doing, but she can surmise that he isn’t actively piloting. The ship has been in autopilot ever since they all broke off to rest. 

“Can’t sleep?” Her voice came as a surprise to Atton. She could tell as much by the way his back straightened as he turned to face her. 

“Seems like I’m not the only one,” was his response, as he rested his elbow against the headrest, his body turned sideways in the pilot’s seat. “What brings you all the way up here?” 

She smiles softly as his question. Honesty in this situation wouldn’t do any good, she figures. What good is a leader that is unsure of herself, of her capabilities? 

“I could ask you the same,” she muses as she walks toward the second pilot seat. She rests her elbows on the headrest, and stares out the viewport. Finally, she answers his question. “The stars. I wanted to see them.”

Atton knew it was a superficial answer. He didn’t really expect the Jedi to be honest with him about all of her inner demons and what kept her up at night. Though, from what he’s seen and heard, he knows that too many reasons to guess why she wouldn’t be able to sleep. 

He lets her answer hang in the air around them. It’s not so much a moment of contemplation, really; he sees how her face softens as she gazes out the viewport toward the endless starry pattern that surrounds them, and can’t think to interrupt the silence and her escape just yet. 

Instead, he focuses on how different she looks in that moment. Her hair is down, and it frames her face in a way he’s never seen before. Her features are softened by the somewhat tangled hair around her - no doubt caused by tossing and turning in the single-person cot. Her attire is clean and roomy around her, but it makes her seem less rigid and commanding than usual, less distant. He thinks she looks like an absolute vision. 

He doesn’t want to know, or even guess what thoughts have plagued her mind enough to keep her awake. Honestly, part of him is selfishly grateful for it, if only for the fact that it allowed him to see her in such a way that made his heartbeat quicken. Her business is her own, he decides, and the least he can do for his fearless leader is distract her from her troubles in the only way he knows how. “Pazaak?” He asks, holding up the deck in his hands, “Republic Senate rules?” 

She lets out a sigh - an air of laughter? Atton can’t help but wonder - and nods to her companion. He gives her a large grin before getting up from his seat. 

He sets the cards up on the floor of the cockpit - the only place where there is enough space for the game. Atton crosses his legs and leans against a wall of the cockpit as the Jedi sits on her knees across from him. 

The first cards are laid out. She is faced with a 5, while Atton has a 10. The Jedi looks at her side deck for a brief moment before nodding to Atton - a silent motion that he has come to interpret as to end turn. He places another card next to hers, a 9, before doing the same for himself - a 6. 

Atton watches as she brings her lower lip between her teeth and contemplates for a moment. He’s seen the gesture before, and he can’t help how endearing it is to him. Then, all too soon, she releases her lip and nods to him once again. End turn. 

He gives her another card, another 5, and does it once more for his hand. He tallies up his score now, a 24, before placing a -4 card from his side deck to end the round in his victory. 

She scrunches her nose at the sight. “I’m just warming up,” she says.

He smirks at the familiar excuse. “Of course, as you always do.” 

The Jedi gazes across at her opponent, meeting his stare after her first card has been dealt - an 8 - and mirrors his crooked smile. “There are three rounds to win for a reason, are there not?” 

“Sure, but not for that one.” 

- 

Atton leans against one of the walls, one leg outstretched and other bent at the knee, as he stares intently at the cards in front of him. The only card in his side deck is a -1, and he doesn’t like his odds. 

The Jedi has changed her position now, too, and rests on her belly to give herself a closer eyeline to the floor where the game is taking place. Her legs are stretched behind her, bent at the knees and crossed at the ankles. She adjusted there two games ago, and it’s given her the last two victories. Now, on the final round of the 5th game, the entire victory hinges on this last play. 

Her score is a 17, while his is an 18. He knows she hasn’t played all of her side deck this entire game, and while his number is good, it’s impossible to know what she could play next. 

She ends her turn, and gets an additional 2 card for it. Atton stares at his cards. If he doesn’t play, it’s an automatic loss. If he tries for another card, his chances of getting the right number to beat her are very slim. Still, slim chances are better than a definite loss. 

He gets another card, a 4. He winces as the card is placed - even with his -1, he’s still 1 point over. The Jedi has won that game, and therefore the majority of the games that night.

The grin on her face says enough. 

“I do believe that makes me the winner, doesn’t it?” 

“Of tonight. Don’t let that get to your head.” 

“I would never. It was merely an observation.”

Atton snorts at that as he packs up the deck. 5 games was a lot for them, and while he’s sure it distracted her enough from her thoughts, he isn’t sure it made her any more tired and willing to attempt to sleep again. 

“You should really get some sleep,” he says finally, after the cards had been packed away. The Jedi had gotten up from her spot on the floor, and sat against the opposite wall of the cockpit. He doesn’t have to add that  in a few hours, they’ll be docked on the next planet and will have to face unknown dangers that she’ll be leading them through. Her rest is more important than even his own.

Her fingers played with the fabric of her sleepwear, an antic Atton can only assume is one out of nerves. At that moment, he suddenly does wish he knew what was going on inside her mind, if only to ease her worries away. 

“I will,” she says after a long moment of silence. She gets up, and Atton follows suit. She is almost out of the entryway when she pauses and looks back at him. “You never told me why you were awake.”

Atton pauses; he knows the answer just as much as he knows the back of his hand. Ever since he had joined her cause, and became her pilot, the thoughts inside his mind never stopped racing. Whenever the crew broke off, and went to their respective dorms, Atton could never fall asleep as easily as the others. He had plenty of past troubles to keep him awake, and yet, his mind was always clouded with thoughts of the Jedi; he both dwindled on past encounters and envisioned future ones. But, with Bao-Dur snoring softly across from him every time, it was impossible to do his visions justice, and he always came to the cockpit to find solace.

He wouldn’t tell her that, of course. Not when, every time he ruminates on their conversations, he becomes less and less sure if she reciprocates his feelings. Instead, he thinks back to an hour earlier, and offers her an easy smile. 

“I guess I wanted to see the stars, too.”

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)