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away-ward · 1 year ago

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Nightfall headcanon! Do you know/believe in MBTI personality types? I do, but not to a T. If you do, what do you think willemmy's mbti would be? I feel like em would be INTP/INFP, and will would be ENFJ/ENFP. Like theyre mostly the complete opposite, but because they are both very curious people, they always aim for more, better, higher. One knowledge or trouble is not enough for people like them, they need to be in constant adventure. I think it suits them so much because even when they werent shown to be adventurous (action-wise) given the circumstances, when they do, it was always full of adrenaline. Not to mention, willemmy was CRAZY! They were literally going through so much shit, plus all those mind games in blackchurch from everyone, and they came out ok, and be like "yeah fun". I cannot imagine kaibanks having the same reaction with them honestly, lmaooo! Like would kaibanks have fun? Yea maybe, but would they be crackheads about it like willemmy? Nah. Even michaelrika would be crying over each other honestly. And damonwinter would be more protective and doting of each other. Idk, theres something crazy about willemmy that scratches a very specific part of my brain. Like they literally are THAT couple in the series thats ACTUALLY fucking unhinged. The other three are unhinged too, but were they on willemmy's level? No. Like if you noticed, Nightfall is considered boring to many, but thats the thing, if you read in a different pov, the story was unhinged from the start until the end. One trouble after another. It's a constant thing, not like Corrupt, Hideaway or Kill Switch where the troubles are two or three at most, and thats why Nightfall "Little Trouble" is just! So! Willemmy!

Unpopular opinion, readers when they enter Nightfall, are already so desentisized with unhinge things because of the past 3.5 books that they dont realised the more extreme and constant high stakes of Nightfall. For me, this element was what made dynamic good too, because they really like to cause trouble everywhere 🤣 for themselves, for each other and literally for everyone. No wonder their family wanna jump kick them (fondly) sometimes ahaha! I remember Michael being frustrated at Emmy during the chase and run with Martin at the end of the book because she took the time to daydream ��🤣 and kai being frustrated with will too 🤣 and who fit in with willemmy well from the start again? Damon! Exactly, hahaha! And thats why i'll always think willemmy's the most unhinged, because all the characters have to think about their morals yada yada for years, but willemmy was like huh? That was only ONE trouble though? No big deal 😭☠️🤣 they onky took years to find courage for the other but whenit comes to chaos? No one had to instigate anything 🤣😂 ahahhaha the more i think about it, the funnier it gets. It's even funnier when emmy thought nothing abiut her fits in with them, when she LITERALLY was a little shit too (fondly) like the rest of her current family 🥹 Like Willemmy's the couples that made people like kai wanna choke them to death (lovingly ofc), michael want to bonk their sometimes, and damon wants to jump in the truck with, ahahaha. Little trouble really suits Emory so much because of this. When PD wrote about if Will didnt find trouble, trouble will find him 😂 No truer thoughts have been spoken!

Back to willemmy's MBTIs, Willemmy's minds and hearts are always churning too, for more and better things. Because of their N type function, they got each other in a more sincerely deep and complex relationship than others because casual or shallow things dont work for them in a long run. Like the things they talk about, their hobbies, passion, feelings about everything is deeper than just the surface, and they really need someone to share these kind of personality with. It's not because they were trying to be different either, they were just naturally curious people with big thirst and interest in mysteries or the nature of things. It's because their need to be and do more is like top priority. So people either dont bother to speak more to them because theyre not as interested as them in certain topics, they assume they cant handle it because of their introverted/extroverted qualities, or are just intimidated to talk them about certain things because theyre smart people or smth like that. These MBTIs can usually only genuinely connect and build a long fulfilling lasting relationship with others with the same function of them (N type) and I wasnt surprised at all when willemmy never found any deep curious connection with others even if they might have friends and families surrounding them for so long. This doesnt mean they felt unloved or anything, but rather, in things that they were very invested in (which are many), they might feel very lonely because they have no one who they can communicate with in super complex manner. The horsemen and cowgirls are friends and fanily with will, but he cant always nerd or geek out about everything that he likes, hates or wtf, to them because they might think he wasnt able to handle it, or because they cant keep up with the way he works out his feelings, logic and interests in general. Will is like thos people who's fucking deranged about something but his friends response to say, godzilla will be "haha, that was fun" and he'll be like? JUST fun? Why? Like he literally ate up challenges and curiosity like snacks yeah, and a lot of his conversation with his friends so far in the books were very surface level things even though he mentioned many times he craves for something more complex than that. Rather than putting a blame to anyone about how he feels, or the way others treated it, i think it's more accurate to say that he just needs to find someone who can fulfill this needs, outside of his friendship with his friends. Because what he differs from his friends or personality wasnt just the way they and he percieve each other, but rather a very personal need that he never really realised he needed, until he met emmy and took all those years in prison and after to sort what kind of relationship and person he want to be with to feel fulfilled in life. So then comes Emory Scott. Unhinged and curious, likes to argue, just as prideful, smart, creative, confident in her abilities, loyal and everything else that he loves about the her world and want to actively be apart of. Whatever thing that emmy lacks when it comes to processing complicated feelings, will balanced it. Whatever will lacked with critical thinking, emmy made up for it. They challenged each other and make each other feel so fulfilled and happy. (Imma cry for willemmy as i write this). Em was more lax in her work too, even she plans things, if she felt or thought she couldnt continue it, she just stops in the midst of some plans, and on the opposite, will was a bit random with his life, but when he got a plan, he really sticks to it. Willemmy is the most Perfect for each other. The end. Lmao.

Edited for grammar, spelling and word choice; but also re-reading the ask made me unbelievably happy! Thanks to the anon that sent it in, if you're still around!

I used to be really into MBTI types, and I think they’re a great place to start when trying to understand a character*. But I haven’t thought about it in years and haven’t considered what their types would be. I used to take online test and answer as I think the characters would and then check a few of the neighboring types to see if any fit really well. I might still do that now...

I feel like em would be INTP/INFP, and will would be ENFJ/ENFP. Like theyre mostly the complete opposite, but because they are both very curious people, they always aim for more, better, higher.

I agree that Em would be more on the I-T side and Will E-F, but the other functions in the stack are hard to figure out.

However, you’ve got me thinking! Em is so incredibly curious. With people who have such serve trauma, it’s impossible to tell what traits are natural to them and what traits they developed to survive. I wonder if Em would have always been as logical and hard if she didn’t need to quickly develop those traits to combat Martin.

Would she lean more towards playful, as we kind of see her behave at the Cove on Homecoming, or even in Blackchurch at times?

Or was that just those circumstance that allowed her to let go for a short time, and she would have always developed this tendency towards logic over emotions?

It’s hard to tell, because she’s so jealous over the other kid’s freedom, but at the same time, she attributes her desire to stand out in areas like band, swim, and academics as just apart of who she is without outside influence of Martin and his abuse. She’s competitive by nature, and a lot of time, competitive people fall within the Thinking function.

they got each other in a more sincerely deep and complex relationship than others because casual or shallow things dont work for them in a long run. Like the things they talk about, their hobbies, passion, feelings about everything is deeper than just the surface, and they really need someone to share these kind of personality with. It's not because they were trying to be different either, they were just naturally curious people with big thirst and interest in mysteries or the nature of things.

Will and Em compliment each other really well, as you pointed out! On the surface, they seem like the opposites attract trope, but in they’re not really opposites. They’re nerds on different ends of the spectrum.

For example, I spent some time thinking about their love of movies. I didn’t catch it my first few times reading, but Will’s family owns the theater. At first, I thought Will just saw her go in, followed her, and that’s how he knew about Godzilla. He also knows that she likes movies, so he could have been staking out one of her favorite haunts. But what if he was already there, in the projection room?

When he takes her to the theater, he calls someone to open the open the doors for him. At first, I thought “Will’s connected. This is just a guy he knows.” But then I realized he says his parents took away his keys.

Because the Grayson’s own the theater. (admittedly a head canon, but still it works so well!)

Which seems like such a random thing for them to own. Later in NF, he says that his mother made him sit with her through a Doris Day marathon. Like…I love my mom, but I wouldn’t sit with her through an entire marathon of Doris Day. Which leads me to believe...the Grayson’s love movies. Or at least his mom does (which also new head canon:…maybe his dad bought his mom the movie theater because she loves movies and it was gift. And maybe Will loves monster movies so that’s why they have monster movie marathons during October…like this family is so ‘we love each other and we love this town so everyone benefits’. Now I think the Grayson's are adorable.).

When Emory is sprouting off facts about 80s action movies, Will isn’t a silent onlooker, in awe of her knowledge. He actively participates in that conversation.

Rather than putting a blame to anyone about how he feels, or the way others treated it, i think it's more accurate to say that he just needs to find someone who can fulfill this needs, outside of his friendship with his friends.

Yeah, maybe Emory geeks out over old stuff, antiques and architecture, or even movies and books. But Will has his stuff that geeks out over too. Like really geeks out – rambles on and on, has done 2am research, can drop random trivia, etc. Like you said, he’s just not surrounded by people who get it, so he keeps it to himself.

Here's a list of things I think Will would geek out over:

Theme/adventure parks. Will is the type to have a rollercoaster bucket list. He’d want to take a summer to drive the country and hit as many as he could.

Exploring and abandoned places. Especially if they're rumored to be haunted. He loves mysteries and mayhem.

He loves traditions. His being able to tell the Reverie Cross story from memory speaks to how much he studied it. I doubt any of the boys wanted to listen to him go on and on about it after a while but he was so invested in the town lore. He started a new tradition in Fire Night, and it seemed like he was very enthused and serious about visiting Edward's grave.

Which brings me to the next thing: He loves Thunder Bay. He probably knows that town history forwards and back. When Em goes on about a specific architecture design and its history and why it was used and why it should be preserved, Will listens intently and hypes her up, not only because she’s his girl, but because this is so interesting. He is genuinely interested in what she has to say, even when she's rambling.

Emory Sophia Scott 'nuff said on that.

I don’t think anyone in the group geeks out over this kind of stuff like the two of them. I can definitely see how the stuff that Will gets excited over being deemed ‘immature’ by Michael and Kai. Like you said, it doesn’t mean they don’t love him, just that they’re not getting that side of him. I always thought the way Michael indulged Will in Corrupt was very telling of their bond. While Kai said ‘no’ immediately because he understood the repercussion, legally but mainly emotionally for Will, Michael knew that it was something he needed. And when Rika asked, he said Will “loves the girl who built it.” Not ‘loved’ not ‘had a crush.’ Loves. They boys do a lot to understand each other, but they’re not at all the same.

Will and Em are curious and eager to learn and uncover mysteries. They don’t want to stay in the same place for too long. They don’t let the fear of ‘trouble’ stop them from discovering new things. Em went with her gut feeling to discover the Carfax room. Will found Coldfield on his own because of the mystery and because it served a purpose. Meanwhile, Kai only wanted at The Pope when he had a reason for it. Michael found St. Killain’s and stayed there forever, literally making it his home.

These two little history nerds, action movie buffs, explorers and adventurers would never stop moving. At least not for long. Will traveled the world before going to Blackchruch because he craves new experiences, and he was hoping something would spark an interest for him. And the second he gets Emory in a safe place, his first thought is “Do you wanna travel and see things? Where do you wanna go? Some place old? Some place wild? Everywhere? Do you wanna go everywhere???? ‘Cause I wanna take you everywhere.”

They’re so cute. And crazy. Probably the most eager to explore anything, followed by Damon (and Alex. I think fire night or the epilogue specifically says she is the ‘adventurer’ but whatever 😒 Is there anything Alex isn't, according to PD?). Emmy does fit in with the group as a whole, but she had to accept that side of herself first and stop judging other people for ‘having fun.’

These two balance each other so well! I will never stop loving that about them.

already so desentisized with unhinge things because of the past 3.5 books that they dont realised the more extreme and constant high stakes of Nightfall.

PD tends to use the same devices over again in this series, just with new faces and names. It’s all the same but different. The things that were ‘unhinged’ in NF were in the other books too, it was just slightly altered. So there really wasn’t anything new in terms of the couples interactions and they dynamics at play. Even if it was posed as different, it wasn’t really. I can understand why people felt tired/bored of that, even if they couldn't identify why exactly it felt that way.

NF was unique because there was no down time between major events. There also was no build-up (if you're like me and read NF without reading Conclave first). We were dropped straight in the middle of the plot; Will’s been MIA for over a year, we know practically nothing about Emory, and we have a completely new cast. It's a closed location, forced proximity, and dubious characters and the action never stops. The Blackchurch timeline is like 5 days. And it did raise the stakes. With the others, at least by the 50% mark, we knew basically who the our heroes were going to be in the end. NF did leave Aydin up in the air until the last second. I don't have positive feelings for Evans as the last antagonist, or Aydin at all, so the stakes fell flat for me at the end.

My main issue with NF has always been we traded characters who we were eager to see how they interacted with Will and especially Emory, with characters we don’t know and therefore didn't care about at first. I can’t tell you how much more I want to know how Emory would interact with the rest of the cast in normal circumstances. Not when people are angry, not when they’re preparing for a wedding, just…like the rest of the books, I wanted everyday stuff and I never got it. And unlike a lot of the fandom, I never came to care about Aydin, Micah, or Rory. Maybe I would have if we had more time, but I felt exhausted by the whole thing.

And thats why i'll always think willemmy's the most unhinged, because all the characters have to think about their morals yada yada for years, but willemmy was like huh? That was only ONE trouble though? No big deal

I mean, I definitely feel that of all the couples, Willemmy fit together the most? The things that kept them apart were out of their control, but when they are around each other, there's a clear connection. They can overcome anything if they're working together. Sometimes if feels like the other couples, especially Michael and Rika, work against each other, or look for ways to undermine or hide things from each other. I never got the impression that Willemmy would do that after they were married.

Little trouble really suits Emory so much because of this. When PD wrote about if Will didnt find trouble, trouble will find him

I love this! Like so much. Trouble will find him❤️

Thanks so much for this ask! It was a lot of fun to respond to!!!

-KO

*I specifically say character because I don’t encourage trying to type real people unless you have psychology training, but typing a character is harmless.

#asked and answered #devil's night series #emory scott #will grayson iii #nightfall #mbti #ko's hc tag #a bit criticism #not hate #asked and answered 15

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grapesodatozier · 3 years ago

Text

so close to the real thing (closer than you think)

rating: explicit

word count: 6.8k

summary: Eddie's been pining over Richie for as long as he can remember. He loves everything about Richie; especially how much Richie loves touching him. It's a little inconvenient, though. Eddie copes with his pent up sexual tension by constantly checking a porn blog he's obsessed with on tumblr. This guy has the same type of body as Richie, he talks like Richie, his name is even Richie! It makes it all too easy for Eddie to pretend it really is Richie while getting himself off to all of the blog's content.

You'll never guess what he finds out when he starts sexting this stranger named Richie from his anonymous porn blog.

tags: friends to lovers, porn with feelings, love confessions, dom/sub dynamics, bi dom top richie, gay sub bottom eddie, the most oblivious pining idiots in the world lol we love them

notes: this is one of my more ridiculous ideas but I had so much fun with it lol. also as a note you probably should not approach people on the internet the way they do in this fic, but they're just v enthusiastic and everything here is v consensual!! still tho definitely don't take this indulgent fic as a guide on how to approach real people online lmao. okay have fun!!

read on ao3 or below!!

notsfw under the cut

Eddie Kaspbrak’s friends were his entire world; time spent with them meant everything to him. But he also really valued his alone time. He’d always been the sort who needed time to just sit on a grassy hill and watch the trains go by, to catch up on comics in his room, to get lost in Netflix shows or even just his thoughts as he moseyed around his apartment—one he live in by himself, for when these moods hit. He needed time to himself to unwind. And sometimes he unwound by scrolling through some porn blogs on tumblr with his hand in his pants.

There was one blog that he was particularly fond of. There were other blogs more catered to his personal interests, namely blogs that didn’t feature women like this one did. But there was a good balance of genders represented, so Eddie figured he could just scroll past those posts. This guy was worth it. His pictures were ridiculously hot, and his dirty talk was even hotter.

Also, his name was Richie. Which Eddie refused to acknowledge as part of the draw.

It was harder to ignore tonight. He’d been out with the losers, and Richie had just been so touchy. And there was something about the way he'd been talking; his voice was lower than normal, slower in a way that made Eddie’s stomach flip. And his touches had lingered, his hand squeezing Eddie’s hip slow, then lazily brushing against his ass as he dropped it. Eddie could hardly take it. He brushed it off as Richie just being tired from work, but god, Eddie wanted it to mean more. The hardest part was hiding how much he wanted Richie to keep doing it.

There were so many things Eddie wanted Richie to do to him. He wanted Richie to touch him harder, to grab him by his hips with both hands. Richie’s hands were so big; Eddie just knew Richie could manhandle him so easily, so roughly. He wanted to know what it would feel like to have Richie’s hands all over him, grabbing at his ass and his thighs, holding his wrists down, making him feel so small. While Eddie would never admit it, huffing at every short joke Richie made, but he loved being shorter than Richie. He loved how safe he felt when Richie held him. And he was dying to know how small he would feel with Richie looming above him, or sitting in Richie’s lap, bouncing on his cock. He wanted to hear Richie talking to him in that low, slow voice, with that condescension Eddie did his best to pretend not to be affected by. He wanted Richie to whisper in his ear and call him all those pretty names he always dropped so casually, all those sweet ones and also ones that were a lot meaner. He wanted Richie to want him.

But it was easier to think about it than to ask for it. He knew Richie had way more experience than him. Well, okay, maybe not way more necessarily, but they were starting their third year of college, and he hadn’t wasted any time. Eddie, on the other hand, hadn’t done anything more than hand stuff with someone else. The guys he’d hooked up with were nice enough, and hot enough, but they just… weren’t Richie.

He supposed this guy on tumblr wasn’t Richie either, but at least he was everything else Eddie wanted. None of his hookups had been so, well, dominant, and that was this guy’s whole thing. He was dominant and a top and into guys that looked like Eddie. He even kind of talked like Richie, and he was apparently pining over his best friend, just like Eddie was. It had him completely smitten. Plus, internet-Richie’s crush had brown eyes like Eddie, and he ran track, just like Eddie did. Internet-Richie had posted once about his dick getting hard watching his friend at his track meet, and Eddie had come so hard that night, his track shorts around his ankles, imagining his Richie thinking those things about him.

Eddie was in bed now, in nothing but his boxers and one of Richie’s old shirts that had been Eddie’s for a while now. Still reeling from the way Richie had been acting that night, he logged into his porn account on his phone and scrolled through his dash for a grand total of thirty seconds before going immediately to internet-Richie’s blog. A thrill went through Eddie’s body when he saw that he had just posted. He’d written, “god my friends gonna fuckn kill me with that ass, i wanna plow him so bad” then reblogged it and added, “reminder that my asks and dms are always open if any pretty needy little subs need help getting off. please come be sluts in my messages.” Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he saw that there was a picture, too, one of him gripping his hard cock, his boxers pulled down just enough for Eddie to see the dark hair around the base of his cock. Eddie moaned at the sight. His cock was so nice, so long and thick and pink. And fuck, his fingers. They were so long and slim, almost as nice as his-Richie’s.

Eddie scrolled a little farther down, his heart racing. There were a lot of reblogs, but some original posts here and there, things like, “what i wouldn’t do to have a pretty guy drooling all over my cock rn,” and, “in the mood to get someone dick drunk. wanna fuck a someone so hard they forget their own name.” One that made Eddie nearly choke said, “want someone i can pump my come into whenever i want, over and over again. want a sub i can keep full of my come all the fuckn time.” That post had Eddie getting out his lube.

It also had him thinking about internet-Richie’s most recent post, his post about his DMs being open.

Eddie bit his lip and thought about it. He’d sent internet-Richie some asks before from his porn blog (his blog didn’t have his name on it, just the teddy bear emoji, since he privately thought the teddy/Eddie rhyme was fun and clever, and also it was cute), and he’d seemed plenty happy enough to respond then. Still, it felt like a much bigger step to DM him, to talk to him just one on one. But the more he read his posts, the more he thought about his-Richie and how he’d touched Eddie that night, the easier it was to convince himself to shoot his shot with this stranger.

Eddie just messaged him a simple, “hi,” with a heart emoji. It was innocent enough, but his heart was still racing.

Internet-Richie responded a lot faster than Eddie was expecting. Honestly he hadn’t been expecting a response at all. But he said:

hiya cutie (; ive been hoping youd message me

Eddie flushed. He couldn’t help but hear cutie in his-Richie’s voice—especially given how often Richie used the nickname. really? he typed back.

fuck yes, ur cute little messages make me so hard. i can tell ur a pretty little thing just from the way you type

Eddie was blushing deep. Pretty little thing. That was hotter than it should’ve been. He wanted his Richie to talk to him like that, in that deep, sleepy voice.

there’s no way you can tell that from some messages :P, Eddie sent.

His heart stopped at the next messages internet-Richie sent.

oh, u dont think so?

why dont u send me some pics to prove me wrong (;

Oh my god, Eddie thought, his breath coming short. His head swam at the thought of sending this guy nudes, of showing himself off to someone who clearly wanted to see him, who would know how to take care of him and fuck him the way he liked, a guy with his crush’s fucking name and body type and hands. It had Eddie’s cock hard and leaking, and he slowly slid a finger inside of himself.

But just because the thought turned him on didn’t mean he was gonna send this stranger what he wanted so easily, even if he desperately wanted to.

you’d like that, wouldn’t you?

He fingered himself open as he waited for a response, working his way up to two fingers. It was nearly impossible to ignore his cock, but he didn’t want to come before the conversation even had a chance to start.

fuck ya i would, internet-Richie responded. Then, in a second message, whats wrong baby? you shy? ill show u mine ;)

Eddie's breath caught. God, this guy even made stupid shit sound hot, just like Eddie’s Richie. This was unreal.

i’ve seen yours, Eddie pointed out.

ya and you musta liked it if ur messaging me rn

Eddie bit his lip. ...maybe

aw thats cute sweetheart. u know i can see all the needy little tags you add when u reblog my stuff right?

Eddie blushed. He’d kind of always hoped he’d read them, but he never thought he actually did. i didn’t know you read those

oh ya, read them, jerk off to them. bit of a size queen, aren’t you? ;) it’s cute. makes me so fuckn hard when u talk abt how u want me to fill you up

Eddie whimpered out loud, sliding a third finger into himself. Fuck, he wanted that cock inside of him so bad. But right now one of his toys would have to do, once he was stretched out enough. He sped up his fingers, getting impatient. Gathering up all of his horny courage, he sent, show me.

what, no please? only good boys who use their manners get dick pics babydoll

Eddie pouted and whined to himself, making quick work of sliding his hot pink vibrator inside of himself—well, as quickly as he could without hurting himself. He moaned as it filled him up, making pleasure spread deep through his body. Slowly pumping it in and out, he reached for his phone. please, he typed, please let me see? wanna know what to picture while i fuck myself with my vibrator. He even added the wide eyed pouting emoji to really milk the whole begging thing. He knew he’d been playing a little coy, but now with the way internet-Richie was talking to him he was getting desperate.

well fuck baby since ur begging ;)

Eddie held his breath as he waited for the picture, slowly rocking his toy in and out, savoring the feeling. He wished it was Richie doing it, wished it was his cock. The lines between which Richie blurred; he wanted to get fucked by either of them, both of them.

What Eddie received when his phone lit up was not a picture, but a video. It was short, just a few seconds of Richie’s hand dragging wetly, smoothly over his cock, but it had Eddie drooling. The room was dark, so he’d used a flash, and it made the mix of what Eddie assumed was precome and spit glisten as the swollen head of Richie’s cock disappeared and reappeared from behind his fingers. Eddie must’ve played it at least five times, fucking himself a little faster, before remembering to say something back. And to take a video of his own. fuck, I want you so bad, want you to fucking ruin me, he wrote back. A part of him couldn’t believe how openly desperate he was being, but he found that he liked it; he liked the way it made him blush, he liked the way it felt to beg, to ask for what he wanted.

Richie’s response came fast: show me kitten. show me how you want me to fuck your pretty little ass.

Eddie moaned at the pet name; casual little nicknames were such a weakness for him. He was already so far gone, just picturing Richie’s cock inside of him, picturing him stroking his cock to thoughts of Eddie. The attention had his cock hard and leaking as he thrust his vibrator even deeper inside of himself, pumping it in and out a few more times before rolling over and getting on his hands and knees. It was hard to take a video from this angle, but he wanted to show off his ass and hide his face. Plus, there was something so hot about having his ass in the air and his face shoved in his pillow, looking like the perfect image of someone desperate to be fucked. He loved the way it made him feel, loved the thought of being so open for someone. For Richie.

He ended up shooting a short video as well, about ten seconds of him sliding his vibrator slowly in and out of himself, letting out soft little moans. He was pretty pleased with the way it turned out, his hole pink and smooth and wet as it stretched around his toy. The angle was a little weird, showing a lot of his room once or twice when his hand slipped a little, but overall he thought his ass looked amazing, if he did say so himself. He sent it and said, feels so good. do you want me to go faster?

As he sent it, he got settled on his back, forcing himself to go slow as he fucked himself while he waited for internet-Richie’s response. It was taking longer than before, and Eddie was getting antsy; it was so hard to drag it out, to not get ahead of himself. But whatever Richie was doing, Eddie knew it would be worth the wait. Still, he pouted as his cock ached, begging for attention.

He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a knock at the door.

He groaned to himself and stayed put, fucking himself even slower as he waited for whoever it was to leave. But then the knocking continued, loud and incessant and obnoxious, and Eddie knew exactly who it was. He also knew he wasn’t going to go away any time soon, which honestly made him smile and blush. Richie had terrible timing, but Eddie would never be upset to see him.

Reluctantly, he slowly slid the toy out and pulled on his shorts, leaving his shirt off. He still had a pretty obvious boner, but his horny brain did not mind the idea of Richie seeing it. So he strode lazily down the hall, shouting a performatively annoyed, “I’m coming!” Finally, he opened the door, cocking his hip to the side and giving Richie an expectant look. “Can I help you?” he asked, a small smile dancing around the corner of his lips. He had to fight off a smirk at the wide eyed look Richie gave him as he ran his eyes over Eddie’s body.

“Fuck,” he muttered lowly, his eyes trained on Eddie’s cock, which was getting even harder the more Richie stared. Eddie bit his lip and grinned a little, making doe eyes at Richie. But Richie didn’t meet his gaze—instead he brushed past Eddie, his mouth still hanging open as he made his way urgently toward Eddie’s bedroom.

“Richie?” Eddie asked, a little let down that Richie’s hands weren’t all over him right now. But hey, if he was heading to Eddie’s bedroom he figured that was at least the right direction. He closed his front door and followed Richie into his room, where he found him staring at the bright pink vibrator on the bed. As confident and horny as Eddie was feeling, that still made him blush. He was only human. Crossing his arms, he said, bashful now, “I was kind of in the middle of something.”

Richie looked over at him, his cheeks bright red under his freckles. Then he got a glimmer of that trademark shit-eating grin on his face. “Eds, you fucking slut,” he said, sounding both delighted and breathless. “You are so fucking hot.”

Eddie flushed and tried not to squirm, but he couldn’t help but press his legs together, his eyes brightening. Fuck, was this actually happening? Shit, he needed to think of something witty to say. “You gonna do anything about it?” Okay, that kinda sounded like a corny porn, but he had to give himself credit for even being able to form words just after his lifelong crush and personal wet dream had just admitted his attraction to him.

“I think I already have been,” Richie said, still grinning.

Eddie cocked an eyebrow at him. He couldn’t help but smile back. “Oh yeah? How do you figure that?”

Eddie was expecting a confession. He was expecting something along the lines of you think I don’t notice how you look at me? or did you really think those were casual touches earlier? What he was not expecting was for Richie to unlock his phone and hold it up, showing Eddie the video he had just taken, the video he’d sent to internet-Richie.

Oh. Oh. Oh fuck.

“Oh my god, that’s you?” Eddie cried in disbelief.

“You’re telling me you didn’t recognize this dick?” Richie asked, swaggering over to Eddie, clearly enjoying himself.

“How did you recognize it was me?”

Richie nodded toward the Thundercats poster on Eddie’s wall, then to the model train that sat on his dresser. “What other guy has decor like that and the ass to match?”

Eddie grinned and shook his head. “That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Well pardon me for not being especially eloquent when I’ve just learned that the guy I’ve been masturbating to since I learned how to and been in love with for even longer has been masturbating to me too.”

Eddie’s eyes went wide, all thoughts of getting fucked leaving for a moment. “You’re in love with me?” he asked, his voice as soft as his smile.

Richie was not a bashful person, but the little laugh he let out just then was close to it. “Have been my whole life, but thanks for finally noticing.”

Eddie shook his head and stepped closer, until he had to crane his head up to meet Richie’s gaze. “I love you too.”

Richie’s eyes widened behind his thick frames. Eddie had only seen that look in Richie’s eyes a few times before, but he never wanted to lose sight of it again. He always wanted Richie to look at him like that. But then Richie was closing his eyes and leaning down. It only took Eddie a second to get with the program, drinking in the moment just a little longer before letting his own eyes fall shut as he pressed his lips against Richie’s.

It started gentle enough, if deep and passionate and intentional. But then Richie’s hands were on Eddie’s bare waist, skin against skin, and Eddie was gasping into Richie’s mouth, his hands coming up and resting against Richie’s chest. He curled his fingers into Richie’s shirt as Richie ran his tongue over Eddie’s lips, just before pulling away. He laughed at Eddie’s indignant little whine.

“Oh, you mean you don’t want me to take off my shirt right now?” he smirked as Eddie tried to pull him closer by the offending fabric. Huffing, Eddie conceded and let go long enough to let Richie pull the shirt off over his head.

“Oh,” he said softly, his voice a little, awed moan as he drank in Richie’s chest. It wasn’t like Richie had never been shirtless in front of Eddie before, but Eddie had never felt like he was allowed to really look at Richie all those times. But now he could; now he could touch. And he did, running his fingers over Richie’s smooth, warm skin, over his acne scars and blackheads and freckles. “Fuck, Richie,” he sighed before pressing his lips to Richie’s collarbones, trailing them all over Richie’s beautiful chest.

Richie gave a breathless, almost shy laugh as he stroked Eddie’s hair. “Damn, Eds, never pegged you as a tits guy.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Eddie giggled, bringing his lips back to Richie’s. They both smiled into it, getting lost for a moment as Richie’s hands slid slowly down Eddie’s sides. His hands lingered on Eddie’s hips for a moment before he slid them further down and grabbed at Eddie’s ass, making him gasp.

“Is that any way to talk to the guy who’s about to rail you ‘til you can’t walk?”

“What’re you gonna do about it?” Eddie asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Spank me?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Richie smirked. He gave Eddie’s ass a playful smack, making Eddie gasp again and fall into him, needing more. Richie’s voice was dripping with adoration as he purred, “Little brat,” and pulled Eddie against him, kissing him again. Eddie went with it easily and happily parted his lips to let Richie lick into his mouth. Richie had one hand gripping Eddie’s jaw and the other on his ass, touching him in a way that exuded a command Eddie was desperate to follow. God, Eddie knew Richie had big hands, but they felt huge on him like this. It was dizzyingly hot. And the way Richie’s tongue was teasing his had Eddie’s knees going weak. His dick was throbbing in his shorts, aching to finish what he’d started, what had been interrupted. When he thought about it all—about playing with himself for Richie, about the video Richie had sent him, about all those things Richie had said about filling Eddie up—he felt himself clench down on nothing, desperate to get fucked. Desperate to feel Richie’s cock so deep inside of him.

“Richie,” he whined into the kiss, pulling on Richie’s belt loops, “please.” He pressed himself urgently against Richie and rutted shamelessly against his thigh.

“Fuck, you’re a needy little thing, aren’t you?” His voice was cocky and teasing, but there was an apparent undercurrent of wonder there as well.

Eddie shoved his face into Richie’s neck and whined, grabbing onto Richie’s wrists without even knowing what his goal was. “Richie,” he whimpered, sounding pitiful and ruined already.

“What do you want, baby?” Richie’s voice made it clear that he was enjoying seeing Eddie this wrecked, and that just made Eddie even harder. “Come on, tell me, use your words.”

Eddie squirmed as Richie held him close, but still not touching him in any relieving way. “I need you inside,” Eddie said, his voice high and soft as he squirmed in Richie’s grip. “God, please, Richie, need you to fuck me. Fuck me so hard I can’t even think. Fuck me like I’m your little toy.”

Eddie could hardly believe the words coming out of his mouth, and judging by the gasp he heard Richie let out, he’d caught Richie off guard too. But if the hard bulge in his jeans that brushed up against Eddie was any indication, he was apparently just as turned on as Eddie was. Besides, Eddie knew from his blog that Richie was really into that sort of thing too—and, apparently, really into the idea of doing those things with Eddie. The realization that Richie had been saying all those filthy things about him had him grinding against him with even more fervor, kissing his neck with a heated confidence. Richie moaned, and Eddie could feel the warmth of it spreading through him. “Yeah, sweetheart? You want to feel me inside you? You think you’re ready for me?”

“Yes,” Eddie sighed, looking up at Richie with wide, desperate eyes. He shivered at the new look in Richie’s eyes, the blue nearly entirely eclipsed by how wide his pupils were. He looked hungry for Eddie; Eddie wanted to feel it. “‘M ready, Richie, please, so open for you.” He looked to the toy on his bed pointedly, but Richie only gave a deep laugh.

“Oh honey, that’s cute that you think that little thing is gonna have you ready for my cock.” Eddie’s breath caught; that toy wasn’t small. Before he could gather his scattered brain enough to react, Richie was scooping him up and tossing him on the bed, the toy falling forgotten to the floor. Richie moved Eddie onto his back, and Eddie went happily, pliantly. Richie’s fingers were cool against Eddie’s burning skin as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of Eddie’s shorts, slowly dragging them over his hips and down his legs, tossing them to the floor. Eddie’s cock was dripping with precome, his chest flushed a bright red as he squirmed under Richie’s gaze. Eddie been dreaming of Richie manhandling him like this for he didn’t even know how long; he couldn’t help the way he reacted. And he especially couldn’t help the pleased little sound he made when Richie murmured, “God, you’re gorgeous, Eds.” Then Richie was grabbing him by the ankles, gently but firmly spreading Eddie’s legs, and Eddie let out the most pathetic, genuine moan he’d ever heard. “Fuck, baby, you sound pretty. You like when I spread you open?” Richie asked. He was smirking down at Eddie, but Eddie could see how flushed he was, could see the thrilled awe in his dark, hungry eyes as Eddie nodded.

“Richie, please,” Eddie whimpered. “I need you so bad.” He sat up, reaching for Richie’s belt, but Richie easily pressed him back against the mattress with a large hand on the center of his chest. The confidence in Richie’s dominance took Eddie’s breath away, and he stayed right where he was, nice and obedient, as he watched Richie get off the bed and slowly undo his belt, then his button and zipper. He took his time dragging his jeans and boxers off, enough time to let Eddie’s eyes linger on the reveal of the dark hair under Richie’s waistband. Then Richie’s cock was bouncing up against his stomach, hard and flushed and fucking long. Eddie moaned at the sight and fisted the sheets underneath him. He wanted so badly to get his mouth on Richie, to breathe him in and be nice and good for Richie on his knees. But he was also desperate to get fucked; his hole clenched down on nothing at the thought, and then it was all he could think about again. “Richie,” he repeated, whining now as he reached for him. “Stop being such a tease.”

Richie laughed as he moved easily out of Eddie’s grip and climbed on top of him. Eddie gasped softly at the sight of Richie above him, his dark curls surrounding his face, his full, pink lips pulled into the most beautiful smile Eddie had ever seen in his life. He ran his hands over Richie’s chest and sides, marveling at the fact that this was really happening. Then, his eyes flickering down, he tentatively brought his hand to Richie’s cock.

“Oh, fuck,” they said, both at the same time, making them giggle together.

“Fuck, Eds, your pretty little hand looks so cute wrapped around my cock,” Richie teased in a low, rough voice. Eddie shivered; he couldn’t tell if Richie was praising him or degrading him, but either way it made his head fuzzy.

“‘M not that little,” Eddie grumbled out of habit. But he was clearly breathless. He’d never been good at pretending not to like Richie’s compliments, however teasing.

“Aw, but you are, baby,” Richie cooed, nuzzling his nose against Eddie’s and pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “You’re so cute and tiny for me. I don’t even know if we’ll be able to fit my cock inside you.”

“I can,” Eddie whined, both indignant and impatient. He bucked his hips up, but Richie held him down. He gasped when he felt the warm, soft skin of Richie’s cock press against his stomach. Looking down, he saw that Richie had his cock lying on Eddie’s stomach, showing just how deep he would be once he was inside Eddie.

“You sure about that, babydoll?” While the teasing note was still there, Richie’s voice got noticeably softer as he said, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Eddie’s chest swelled at that. Cupping Richie’s face in his hands, he insisted, “I can take it.” Then he reached down and took Richie in his hand, glowing with pride when Richie let out a low moan. “Richie, please, I want you so bad.”

“Okay, baby,” Richie agreed, turning his head to kiss Eddie’s palm. “Fuck, I want you, too.” But he stalled. “Have you ever… like, been fucked before?”

Eddie flushed. “Well, not by someone else, but I have some toys. I’m not gonna break, Richie.” He huffed, but the way Richie was looking at him soothed any ruffled feathers.

“I’m your first?” His smile was soft, and while his eyes glittered, there was nothing teasing about his tone.

“I didn’t wanna do it with anyone else,” Eddie mumbled. He tried to look away, but Richie pulled him into a kiss.

“Fuck, I never thought you’d want me,” he chuckled. “Sorry, that was depressing, I just mean I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner, you know?”

Eddie beamed, a small, giddy giggle dancing on his lips. “Well it’ll happen sooner if you stop talking so much.” But his smile, and all of the little kisses he planted on Richie’s freckled shoulders told Richie that Eddie never wanted him to stop talking.

“Alright, alright, sheesh, I know I’m hot but you don’t gotta rush me.” Eddie was still giggling when Richie kissed him, and he could feel that Richie was smiling too. “Where’s your lube?”

Eddie stretched his hand out and patted the bed for a moment, searching. After what was probably only four seconds but felt like an eternity, he finally found the bottle and handed it eagerly to Richie. “Oh, right,” Richie smirked, “you’re already wet for me, aren’t you?” Eddie moaned as Richie swiped his fingers over Eddie’s slick hole, pressing in just a bit. His fingers went in easily, and he pumped them slowly, drawing little, breathy moans out of Eddie. Richie’s fingers were a lot longer and thicker than his own, and they felt amazing, but they weren’t what he wanted in that moment.

“Richie, fuck me,” he whined.

“Aw, no please? Again?” Richie tsked and shook his head, curling his fingers against Eddie’s prostate, making him cry out. “I told you, sweetheart, only good boys who use their manners get fucked.”

“Please,” Eddie cried. He rocked his hips and grabbed at Richie’s shoulders, at his arms, not even sure what his goal was there other than to get Richie closer, to get his attention, to show him how desperate he was. “Please fuck me, please.” He sounded pathetic begging like this, but that just made him harder. And it made Richie’s pupils even wider as he slid his fingers out of Eddie and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“Good boy,” he purred. Eddie moaned and arched into Richie’s touch, but he only gave Eddie one more kiss on his cheek before pulling back and covering his cock in lube. Eddie watched, entranced, as Richie’s hand moved smoothly over his cock, glistening and slick. Then Richie was gently spreading Eddie’s legs even further and pressing the head of his cock against Eddie’s hole.

“Yes,” Eddie whimpered brokenly, grasping at the sheets beneath him. “Richie, please.” Meeting his gaze, he said softly, “I need you.”

“I’ve got you,” Richie assured him in a voice that made Eddie feel like he was glowing. Richie took Eddie’s hand in his and entwined their fingers, using his other hand to guide his cock inside of Eddie, who gasped at the feeling. God, he couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe his first time was going to be with his favorite person. He couldn’t believe he was finally getting exactly what he wanted. Love flooded through him, warm and perfect, somehow both soothing and electrifying as he watched Richie’s face. Eddie’s mouth dropped as Richie pressed into him, deeper and deeper and still fucking deeper, until finally Richie let out a low moan and Eddie felt absolutely breathless. The stretch was intense, and he held onto Richie tightly as he caught his breath. “Are you alright?” Richie asked. His voice was strained, but the care and concern in it was clear. “You don’t have to take all of it if it’s too much.”

Eddie wanted to laugh at the remark or roll his eyes, but with how breathless and dizzied by pleasure he already was, he had to admit Richie had a point. “Just need a minute,” he gasped. Richie ran a soothing hand over Eddie’s skin, helping him even out his breathing and relax. The feeling of Richie’s cock twitching in anticipation inside of him had him letting out little moans as he adjusted, getting more and more used to the feeling until he felt comfortable enough to tell Richie he could move. Richie kissed him before he did, his lips soft against Eddie’s, a reassuring weight. Eddie breathed in sharply as Richie pulled back, grabbing at Richie’s shoulders.

Richie immediately stopped. “You okay, baby?” he asked, caressing Eddie’s face.

Eddie wanted to melt. Richie was always touching him, always jokingly flirting with him, but this unabashed concern and, well, love had previously been reserved for dire situations, like panic attacks or injuries. Eddie couldn’t help the dopey smile that bloomed on his face as he tilted his chin up and kissed Richie. “I’m okay,” he said breathlessly. “It’s just a little different from my vibrator.” They both gave a shaky laugh as Richie nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“Better, I hope?” he grinned.

“Can’t tell yet,” Eddie retorted. Another snarky comment was on the tip of his tongue when Richie pulled his hips further back, effectively sucking all the air—and attitude—from Eddie’s chest. And then Richie was pushing back in, and Eddie let out a moan he couldn’t have faked if he tried, relaxing back into the mattress as his eyes fell shut. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, pleasure and relief flooding through his body. They’d been building up this tension for years; Eddie had figured it would feel good to break it, but it really felt magical, like something had just clicked into place. Feeling Richie inside of him, rocking his hips carefully, feeling Richie twitch as he tried not to lose control had Eddie’s head reeling. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open, focusing on Richie above him, on how flushed his face was. When Richie met his eye, pressing in deep, Eddie let out a small, “Fuck.”

“Yeah? Does that feel good, sweetheart?”

Richie was smirking as he said it, but there was something else sparkling in his eyes. Something giddy and awed. Something that made Eddie sigh dreamily, “I love you.”

Richie’s eyes widened for a moment before he pressed his lips firmly against Eddie’s, his hands roaming over Eddie’s body like he couldn’t choose where to put them, where to touch him. “I love you so much,” he beamed, pressing a few more kisses to Eddie’s cheeks. Eddie giggled at the feeling, but then Richie’s hips moved just a little faster, pressing him in just a little deeper, and he was back to melting under Richie’s touch, clinging to him as he rocked his hips with Richie’s. “Fuck, you’re so amazing, baby, so fucking beautiful. You look so good like this, holy shit.”

Eddie smiled almost drunkenly at Richie’s ability to ramble even when blowing Eddie’s mind. “Feels so good,” he moaned, his voice breathy and just a little bit higher than normal. He wrapped his legs around Richie’s waist. “Please, Richie, please.”

“Fuck, baby, wanna make you feel like this all the fucking time,” Richie groaned as he picked up the pace. Eddie whined in pleasure at the change, and that just spurred Richie to go faster, harder, until he was well and truly fucking Eddie, both of them moaning with every thrust.

“Oh my god,” Eddie cried, “ohmygodohmygodhmygod, oh fuck, Richie, please.” It felt so amazing, Richie fucking into him like this, but he needed that little bit more. His cock was throbbing desperately, achingly hard; he needed to feel Richie’s hand on him. “Richie, please,” he whimpered, “please, please touch me. I need you, I need you so bad, please, Richie.” Eddie was pouting now, grabbing aimlessly at Richie, his legs still wrapped tight around him.

“Fuck, you’re so hard for me,” Richie marveled, his voice sweet and condescending as he wrapped his hand around Eddie’s cock. Eddie nearly screamed at the contact, his back arching off the bed. Richie laughed a little, which just made Eddie even harder. The way Richie spread his precome over his cock, twisting his wrist just so as he stroked him had that familiar tension coiling in his lower stomach. “Aw, does that feel good? You gonna come on my cock, kitten?”

“Fuck, yes!” Eddie screamed. He gripped at the sheets as Richie stroked him, his voice washing over Eddie, mixing with the pleasure of Richie’s touch, of his thrusts. “Yes, yes, yes, please let me come, please, please, please.”

“That’s a good boy,” Richie purred, and Eddie could feel himself tipping over the edge at the words, at how low and affected Richie’s voice was. He groaned out, “Come on my cock like a good boy, princess,” and pure pleasure crashed over Eddie like a wave. He arched his back and cried out as he came, his moans filling the room as he squirmed under Richie, grabbed at him, at the sheets. It was fucking ethereal. He felt somehow so in tune with his body and yet so detached, like he was floating. He was barely cognizant of what Richie was saying, but when he put the sounds together and realized Richie had just said, panting, “Fuck, baby, gonna come,” Eddie felt like a live wire again.

“In me,” he said urgently. His mind was still a little too scattered for full sentences, but he knew what he wanted. God, he felt like he needed it. Like he needed to feel that connected to Richie. “Richie, come inside me, please.”

Richie apparently didn’t need to be told twice; he let out a moaned, “Oh, fuck,” before burying his face in Eddie’s neck, his breathy moans like music in Eddie’s ear. And then, as Eddie was coming down from his own high, he felt the holiest thing in the world: Richie’s cock, twitching inside of him, then his warm come filling Eddie up. It was unreal, being this close to him. Richie clutching at him as he came. It was even better than the little fantasies Eddie occasionally allowed himself. Richie was here, in his arms, pressing kisses to his neck as he caught his breath. Eddie was stroking his hair and rubbing his back as Richie nuzzled into him. Richie’s skin pressed against his skin, his legs wrapped around Richie’s waist, then falling to his sides, but still pressed to him. Still keeping him close. There wasn’t a single thought in his head that wasn’t about Richie.

Richie pulled him from his dreamy haze with light kisses pressed up his jaw, then over his cheeks. Eddie giggled at the onslaught of affection, still reeling from how fucking hot and euphoric what they had just done together had been. But he happily accepted Richie’s kisses, his heart bursting, then racing as Richie pulled back to look in his eyes. “Holy, fuck,” Richie beamed, his face flushed and blue eyes hooded from the weight of his orgasm, even as they sparkled.

“I know,” Eddie said, returning Richie’s grin as he basked in the surreality of having Richie on top of him, his dorky yet charming smile framed by lips that were red and swollen because of Eddie. His glasses were knocked askew, and Eddie instinctively reached up to fix them. With a sense of wonder, he realized that his touch was allowed to linger this time. He ran his fingers down Richie’s cheekbones, over his jaw, cupped his cheeks. “I love you,” he said. The words spilled out over his lips like he couldn’t stand not to say them. And while it made his heart race a little to say it out loud now that the adrenaline and tension was all worked through, it felt even better this time when Richie’s face softened and he nuzzled his nose against Eddie’s.

“I love you so fucking much.” Richie’s voice rarely got that soft, that sincere; it felt like a blanket wrapping around Eddie. It felt safe, secure. It felt like a promise. And if there was anyone in the world Eddie knew he could trust, it was Richie. That feeling of everything coming together came back to Eddie as he lay there under Richie, their lips moving together, feeling light as a feather now that everything was finally out in the open.

#reddie #notsfw #reddie smut #reddie fic

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enhyupn · 4 years ago

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⧉ enhypen as your classmate that has a crush on you! ᝢ ∷

pairings: ot7 enhypen members x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of violence in jay’s one

genre: pure fluff + high school!au

a/n this also. Was in my drafts 💭 i was contemplating if i should post this or not but here i am 😫 i Post too much sorry everyone iJust have no life outside of school 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

⌗ heeseung

heeseung is definitely the type of person that tries to talk to the person he sits beside all the time

he nudges you all the time and whispers your name whenever he wants your attention

and the fact he had a huge crush on you also added to it

enhypen always have to listen to him since he never ever stops talking about you. like ever.

“oh my god you will never know what y/n told me when i—” and suddenly he’s cut off by the rest of them yelling “we know!”

you never snap at him because you kinda... enjoy the attention

maybe thats how you knew you kinda liked him too, since you could never let sunoo get away with this if he ever called for your name in class

your relationship only stopped there for a while, since the two of you lowkey scared of each other

“no i feel like y/n’s gonna snap at you one day, like completely just punch you in the face” jay once told him and ever since, he’s never looked at you the same

you think heeseung’s just intimidating, the amount of times you’ve jumped in your seat whenever he’s called your name is numerous

although, one day you fell asleep in class due to the fact you left your english essay last minute the night before

heeseung, noticing you drooling on the table, wrote down the notes for you

he handed them to you after class and you were so touched that you couldn’t stop telling sunoo about it

“his hand writing’s so neat and—” “i get it, you can shut up now!”

you even told heeseung his hand writing was the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen for a week straight

he was happy of course, but honestly unsure how he was supposed to reply to the compliment

he figured out by himself that all he needed to do was ask you if you wanted him to write your name

“heeseung, i mean it! i can’t get over how you write ‘the’, it’s just so— so neat!” “oh really? let me write your name out”

being the smooth guy that he was, wrote down his number instead of your name

and you being the oblivious person you were, ended up being utterly confused

“heeseung i think—” “I WROTE MY NUMBER ON PURPOSE”

you never really got over the shock, nonetheless still took his number and texted him that night

you ended that night by kicking your feet in the air with your face feeling like it was on fire

oh, you also ended up planning a date with heeseung on saturday, not a big deal

it was actually the biggest deal ever

the rest of the head canons are under the cut!

⌗ jay

jay was 100% the type to tease someone when he had a crush to get their attention

he wanted all your attention and the way he got that was through telling you your portrait of a dog looked stupid

well yeah, it did but he didn’t need to point it out

everyone in your art class knew jay had a raging crush on you

he just didn’t know how to express it

his friend jake told him the way into your heart was talking about a mutual interest

jake was, sort of, right about his advice. well, until you and jay started bickering about a character you loved but he oh so hated

“mabel in gravity falls was annoying and weird” “jay if you say that one more time i will shove this paint brush down your throat”

jake, who was trying to play cupid, could not understand why he was so bad at this

i mean jay had no problem getting girls to like him but you? did you genuinely hate jay or something?

“no jake i don’t hate jay” well that answered his question

“he’s just weird” “weird? i’m weird?” “yeah do i need to repeat it again? park jay is weird” you two were a match made in heaven

jay didn’t know when but he had a revelation, maybe this wasn’t the approach he should take to get your attention

after that, he started to be extremely nice to you

it definitely scared you

“d-did i do anything?” “what no? i’m just saying your painting looks beautiful y/n” “oh no something’s definitely going to happen”

he was finally tired of trying so hard while ending up with nothing achieved

jake, being the one out of the two who had the most realistic ideas, decided to give him one more tip

“do you think it’ll work?” “it’s fool proof”

the tip was simply him asking you out to the movies, something that was a little too forward for jay

“no i don’t think it’ll work jake” “jay i swear to god you are going to end up single For the Rest of your Life”

it took... many attempts... and many insults towards you for him to even get the first line out

“Y/NPLEASEGOTOTHEMOVIESWITHME” “the movies? sure” “wait, really? i meant it in a romantic way by the way” “oh? sure i’m free on friday”

turns out you were into him too i mean it was kinda obvious from the way you dealt with those insults

even when you started dating after that date, the insults never stopped

it just now targeted jake, who really is just asking for it at this point from the amount of times he’s asked for credit for ‘getting both of you together’

he was never getting that credit

⌗ jake

jake would leave secret love letters in your locker every time he walked past it

i mean the action wasn’t as secret as he thought it was due to the fact you knew he was the one leaving those letters

for god’s sake the boy was literally in almost all your classes, you were walking the same way as him when he slipped those letters in???

you still were very grateful for them

without them, i think you would of not coped with school

they were all incredibly detailed and even had little doodles drawn around them

you once had remembered he mentioned that he wrote these in the morning before school started during first period

he also told you he was really really shy you found it incredibly cute

the only way he could speak to you without melting was through these letters

somehow you decided that the best thing to do was put replies in his lockers too

his first reaction was complete embarrassment, the fact you knew who he was had his face heating up like nothing else

but he soon realised you didn’t think it was weird or creepy, you actually looked forward to his letters every school day

he mustered up so much courage after that to talk to you in person, to personally thank you

“THANK YOU Y/N!” “NO IT’S FINE JAKE YOU DON’T HAVE TO BOW”

he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck before pulling something out from his back pocket

the final letter in his series of love letters showing up in his hands

“open it” his shy smile making your brain Melt in endearment

the letter contained the usual, the hello y/n! and the usual chatter about his day

what you didn’t expect was the fact he had asked you out at the bottom of the letter

“y/n i’ve liked you for a while now, will you go out with me?” you read out loud before realising what you had just read. “OH MY GOD YOU ASKED ME OUT?”

you pull him into a tight hug, something that jake heated up at

“is this a yes?” “are you seriously asking that right now? of course we are”

you two became the most sickly sweet couple ever

plus the fact you still placed letters in each other’s lockers made enhypen gag (in an affectionate way)

they were just jealous nobody was putting letters in their lockers

⌗ sunghoon

sunghoon always seemed to be there whenever you needed help

especially since you two helped out at the library together every wednesday

he looked forward to it every week, you could tell from the fact ever tuesday he’d remind his friends that the next day he was seeing you again

“tomorrow’s wednesday you know what that means” “yes sunghoon we know, you’re seeing y/n tomorrow”

whenever he’s finished his work (which he does at an incredibly fast pace) he always seems to end up trailing you

constantly asking if you need help, desperate to do something

you find it endearing, always ending up chuckling at his whiney words

“y/n! do you need any help i’m finished” “not at the moment but if you wanna chat i can!”

out of all the enhypen members i feel like sunghoon would have the softest feelings for his crush

like even outside of your assigned library work, he’d constantly check up on you during lunch

“here y/n! it’s a packet of those gummies you like” “how sweet that you remembered! thanks for them”

you, even with sunghoon’s constant affection, couldn’t realise he had a crush on you

you thought that he was like that with everyone, you didn’t think that you were particularly special to get any type of unique treatment from park sunghoon

it wasn’t until your classmate asked you if you and sunghoon were dating

“hey are you and sunghoon dating?” “ummmm no why” “oh my friend wanted to know, they like him that’s why”

that didn’t sit well with you.

you thought long and hard about it but there was literally no reason for you to be bothered about it

i mean? you didn’t like him like that right

wrong

you decided to ask his dearest friend heeseung for help

“heeseung what do i do why do i feel like this” “i don’t know ask sunghoon” “...you aren’t helping”

heeseung being the big blabber mouth he is, told sunghoon all of this

“y/n won’t shut up about you” “really? you’re telling me the truth right? please don’t lie to me”

from many many uplifting comments from his friends, sunghoon was able to talk to you without mentioning the library

“so... what did you do in art class today?” “oh? i don’t do art” i mean at least he tried

after a few attempts he finally hit the nail on the head, securing his place as one of your friend... not the position he was aiming for but at least it was something

that’s when he prepared himself for the final boss (that’s what heeseung called the plan)

interrupting the conversation you both had on what disney show was the best, he popped the big question

“no but mulan was pretty good too also do you wanna go on a date with me” “oh sure! that was really random though”

i mean his timing was incredibly terrible but you were over the moon

even with the calm messages the both of you had sent, the two of you were screaming at your screen, unable to contain any composure

i mean it’s sunghoon... even if he handed you a piece of trash to as his way of asking you out you’d still say yes

⌗ sunoo

no but sunoo definitely asks your friend what your favourite song is and puts it on his story so you can slide up and be like “omg!! i love this song”

OH he also texts you randomly at 11:11 and 22:22 so you think it’s a sign

he so so so desperately wants your attention all the time

he goes up to you at lunch even when you’re with all your friends and makes conversation with you making you forget all about your friends

he sits in front of you in maths! so he knows how bad you are at the subject, he can hear your muttering about how you got a question wrong every morning but don’t Worry! he finds it adorable for some reason

at first he started to pretend he wouldn’t understand a question so he could find a way to talk to you

“hey y/n! what’s six times five again” “are you serious?”

he’s actually kinda good at maths so you’re always confused on how he doesn’t understand basic multiplication but can get 90% on the algebra test

he loves, and i mean loves, talking to you during class

even if the teacher scolds him he doesn’t care, it’s simply the highlight of his day

he gets so pouty and jealous when you excuse him in the middle of a conversation to talk to someone else

he gets jealous especially whenever you talk to his friends instead of him

“hey ni-ki! what did you get for number five?” “oh i got—” “I GOT TWELVE FOR THAT ONE Y/N!”

you kinda adore it not gonna lie

at one point your teacher got incredibly fed up with you two talking class

so! sunoo resorted to passing notes to you

‘y/n did you hear? oh my god, jihan from the maths class beside us told me that yeojin from the year above us got suspended because she started fighting the teacher over her phone. can you believe that? i mean i would of done the same thing’

it was quite clear sunoo talked a lot even through notes too

i mean as if you didn’t reply with the same energy

‘I HEARD THAT TOO!! gowon from her class told me, plus! intak said he saw the whole thing too... omg honestly i think yeojin’s so cool for doing that. maybe i should fight our maths teacher if they try and yell at us for talking again?’

they were one of the many things sunoo loves you for <3

one day ni-ki, being the number one shipper of you two, decides to play Cupid on the two of you

he drew out a note that looked too similarly to a middle school confession text and placed it on sunoo’s desk

“do you like me y/n... tick one. yes. no.” “do you like it?” “what the fuck is this”

i mean sunoo Took it anyways, he knew you’d find it funny too

as usual, you prepared yourself for a long class of sliding notes to each other

you looked forward to it, you found it as a source of entertainment and you liked talking to sunoo anyways

“pssst, y/n!” “thanks— wait did you give me the right one?”

after many whisper shouts and glares from your teacher, he finally convinced you that they were the real deal

obviously. You chose yes

that’s how you landed a date with sunoo to a picnic at han river

sunoo and you were. Kinda.... thankful for ni-ki

you two just never wanted to admit his stupid cupid-ry worked

⌗ jungwon

definitely the type to ask you “what homework did we get?” so he can start a conversation with you

replies to your private story with like “omg that’s so funny” or like “PLSSSSS me too”

you do exactly the same with his ps honestly

he always talks to you before class and you have heated discussions about the homework the night before

YOU ALWAYS ALWAYS end up sitting beside him in every class you have together

like it’s not even on purpose anymore (it’s actually fate)

always lends you pens and pencils when you forget them

he also never Asks for them back so you Have like a stash of them at home beside your bed because you always forget to give them back to him

you and jungwon are the kids in pe class that walk around the track gossiping

“jake told me that half of the soccer team aren’t getting along these days because they all like the same person” “no way really? what about their team work, isn’t there some sort of huge match next week?”

the gossip only stays between you two but only ever during pe

you two talk about more, interesting things outside of pe

since you two are in basically every class together, you walk with him everywhere

once when you were about to trip over, jungwon caught you and when you realised you were in his arms, you just blankly stared at him for a good five seconds

once you got off of him your face started to heat up so fast jungwon’s too

every time you have homework due and you didn’t do it he lends you his word

“y/n take this! it’s the french homework from last class” “thanks so much jungwon!”

the real story starts with when you and him were practicing speaking french in the library

you, being terrible at french, needed some sort of help with this

jungwon decided that, even though he completely sucks at french, he should tutor you!

and there you were, ten reasons why i hate you style, in the library struggling on how to pronounce beaucoup

“bow-cewp” “good job y/n!” “jungwon i know for a fact that you don’t know if i’m saying this right”

you stuck up with it because, well because he’s jungwon

“je t'aime you”

i mean you were Terrible. at french but even the stupidest person in the world could figure that out

“i like you too jungwon, now help me with question six” “YOU COULD UNDERSTAND THAT?” “i had a paris phase when i was younger of course i did”

turns out the Parisian style bakery across the street is the perfect date on an afternoon after school

what was even more perfect was that you got 85% on your test with the help of your boyfriend

⌗ ni-ki

he was your partner in cookery class, the both of you had no cooking skills in your bones but you still made it work

you were in the class since your family constantly nagged at you for being terrible in the kitchen

while ni-ki enrolled because he needed the something to show his friends after school

ni-ki thinks he fell for you at first sight

you were baking cookies as your first task and you basically saved him by reminding him to put on oven gloves before getting the cookies out

“that’s the bare minimum” jay tells him. “i don’t care... you wouldn’t know what love feels like”

he looks forward to cooking class because if you every week

he even has it scheduled on his calendar

honestly it’s kind of a miracle the food you two make is some sort of eatable

he always asks you for help even if it’s the simplest thing ever

“y/n? which one is a cup?” “the one that literally says one cup?”

you don’t care though since you think it’s cute

you always end up doing most of the cooking and chopping whil ni-ki just washes the dishes and watches the pot boil which eagerly waits for the food to finish

you’ve met all of enhypen before since ni-ki likes them to gather around your creations and take pictures of them together

when enhypen first collected him from cookery class, they asked him which one of your classmates were you

he literally shyly pointed at you as he hid his face with his hair

“them” “huh? ni-ki who are you pointing at” “them, beside the fridge”

your final exam was to decorate and bake a cake

it’s safe to say from the many burnt cakes you and ni-ki have done, you two were in trouble

you both wanted that passing grade so you practiced almost everyday after classes the week before

he was in charge of the icing, apparently according to him it was his specialty

“look y/n!” “how cute! a little unreadable but very cute”

finally. the Day of the exam came

you both had to prepare and bake the cake together under two hours

you were lucky that you both weighed the ingredients before you arrived

it was definitely. The most stressful two hours you two had ever felt

it also didn’t help that ni-ki shooed you away when he was icing the cake

by the end of it, your face was Dusted with flour while ni-ki’s apron had butter and frosting stains all over it

you were instructed by ni-ki and even your teacher, to stand where the fridge was, out of your sight to see what he was doing to the cake

you were hazily scrolling through your phone when jungwon snapped you back into reality

turns out jungwon was outside the room the whole exam because ni-ki told him he needed support and having him there comforted him

almost instantly after your jungwon interaction, ni-ki called you from your table, excitedly waving his arms in the air

“y/n! y/n! i’m finished!” “perfect! let me—”

your eyes widened realising his cake didn’t say anything like ‘happy birthday’ like you two had planned

instead the icing spelt out a prettily written out ‘y/n, will you go on a date with me?’

your eyes seemed to water at the gesture, unsure why you got so emotional at icing

“n-ni-ki... that’s so c-cute” “why are you crying? oh my god you hate me don’t you?”

it took you ten minutes to stop sobbing (happy tears) and you gladly accepted his proposal

so now you got a Good grade and an amazing boyfriend that can... sort of! Cook

while eating the cake you were reminded with something, remembering some words from earlier

wait did mr lee know about this?

#enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #enhypen fluff #enhypen timestamps #enhypen drabbles #enhypen x reader #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop x reader

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years ago

Note

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

#answered #a-girl-with-a-ponytail #rinharu #harurin #free! the final stroke #free!#free #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase

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glowinggator · 4 years ago

Text

Boundaries

Request: Hi!! I was wondering if i could get some headcanons for the boys with a s/o who like,,, is trying to stay no contact with an abusive/toxic parent,,, and thinking about going back to them? Just generally doubting whatever they went through/that they have a right to feel the way they do? Ive been struggling a lot and rly need some comfort :( but if its not something you’re comfy with or anything, thats cool too!!!

[A/N: To the person who requested this... I love you! You're doing great, and I hope you know that you are Loved. It's incredible that you were able to cut them out of your life: that takes a lot of courage and strength! I've been dealing with something similar on my end, so I certainly know how you feel. Much love, anon. You don't need them: don't let them drag you back in. You’re perfect without them: there’s no need to feel guilty over what THEY did. Muah!]

Pairing: Raphael/Reader (Established), Leonardo/Reader (Established), Donatello/Reader (Established), Michelangelo/Reader (Established) (ALL SEPARATE - NONPOLY)

Content Warnings: Mentions of abusive parents, although nothing is graphically described. Comfort headcanons, for the most part.

Word Count: 1546

Raphael

He notices that you aren’t feeling well super quickly. He’s a great listener, and he’ll let you vent for as long as you need; however, he’s not going to let you overthink the situation too much. If you’re really genuinely doubting how abusive they were to begin with, he’ll probably cut you off in the kindest way possible. It’s good to talk about your feelings, but you can’t let yourself drown in them, you know?

You did so, so good setting your boundaries last time! And he’s really proud of you for that. But unfortunately, toxic people will always try and weasel their way back in. You have to stay strong. He’ll be there for you every step of the way, too. They hurt you deeply, and you don’t need to apologize for their actions.

If they’re starting to harass you, he’ll offer to respond in your place if you don’t feel like you’re able to at the moment. There’s no shame in blocking their number or email, either.

He’ll offer to take you out somewhere to get your mind off of the situation for a little while. When he’s feeling stressed he likes to work out, but that might not be for everyone. But if you wanna kick the shit out of a punching bag… I’m just saying, it’s very stress relieving. He’s also down to get some pizza too. Anything to take your mind off of it!

Oxymoronic. If you had to describe how you feel right now, inside your body, that would be the perfect word to describe the sensation. You feel weightless, almost outside of your body; yet, that sinking pit in your stomach tethers you to the earth. You feel like you’re going to vomit, replaying the words from your parent’s most recent voicemail in your head. It’s been… a while, hasn’t it? You glance nervously as your phone, checking the time before switching it on. You stare at your lock screen for a moment, trying to find the courage to unlock it, before setting it down with a gentle thud against the hardwood table. You don’t know what to do anymore.

“Hey,” Raph whispers. You jump, startled by the sudden noise before forcing a smile.

“Are you okay?” he asks. You nod.

“Are you sure? It looks like something’s really bothering you.”

“Yeah,” you mutter, “I’m okay. Just life, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” he sits down next to you slowly, smiling gently, “But life is hard sometimes. Do you wanna talk about it?”

You smile gently, if not a little sadly, and shake your head a little. He always knows what to say. “Well, it’s just…” you pause, “I don’t know. It’s my parents again. They’re trying to get back in contact with me again, and I just… it’s hard. Like, what if they changed, you know? I thought I set my boundary really well, so if they’re trying to talk to me, it kind of makes me think that they changed. Or maybe I overreacted, or-”

“Honey, I love you, but I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” he interjects, “You were super clear that you didn’t want contact anymore the first time, so the fact that they’re still trying to weasel their way back in? It shows that they haven’t changed… at all. They’re abusive now, and they were back then too. If they weren’t, you wouldn’t have cut them off in the first place, right?”

You hum and lean into his side. He pulls you towards him gently, cocooning you in his strong arms. You close your eyes and sigh. “Yeah,” you whisper, “that makes sense. I just… I don’t know why they keep doing this, I hate it. I don’t wanna have to deal with this anymore. It’s like every few months they pull this. I don’t know why they just can’t let go.” You wrap your arms as far as you can around his middle, leaning into his embrace as deeply as you can.

“I know, hun. But you know what?”

“Hm?”

“The fact that you don’t understand why they do what they do… it just shows that you’ll never be like them. You’re strong, you’re sweet, and you’re kind. You don’t want to hurt others, and you’ll go to any lengths to help people,” He runs his hand along your back soothingly before trailing up your arm and squeezing it gently, “I wish that they weren’t doing this to you, because you deserve so, so much better than that. But I love you, okay? You’re gonna get through this.”

Leonardo

He’s super observant, and he picks up on your distress quickly. He’s a good listener, and he’ll let you talk for as long as you need. He’s more of the ‘get it all’ out type when it comes to venting. He’ll hold you close and let you cry, if that’s what you need.

Setting boundaries is hard, and he’s really happy that you managed to cut them off in the first place! Assessing your own needs and coming to terms with the abuse that they put you through is really important, and he’s really impressed that you were able to do that. But people never talk about what comes after: keeping those people out of your life. If you’re ever doubting your decision, he’ll be right by your side to back you up. Toxic people will try their best to manipulate you, and he’s not gonna stand by idly and let them guilt you into a relationship with them. They’re the only ones who can control their actions. You have a right to feel the way you do!

He’ll offer to respond to them via email or phone call, if you feel like you need to respond to them. He’ll also offer to beta read your emails if you need to restate your boundaries to them. Sometimes just reading them outloud helps you feel a little bit better, a little bit more secure in your choice.

He definitely ups the self-care and fun outings in your daily life. Dealing with abusive parents is so stressful, and honestly? The LEAST you could do for yourself is kick back with some ice cream.

Donatello

He notices that you’re a little off, but he can’t quite figure out why. Headache? Didn’t sleep well? He’s the most likely to wait for you to bring it up. He’ll ask if you’re feeling okay, but for the most part, the ball is in your court. If your distress persists for more than a day or two, though, he’s not above cornering you and asking what’s up.

He’s really ticked that they’re trying to get back into your life after you clearly cut them out. Like, seriously? You were so clear about it the first time, and this just goes to show that they haven’t changed at all. You’re in the right here: They don’t deserve you. He’ll 100% back you up regarding your experiences, and he’s not gonna let you feel guilty over what THEY put you through. He’s a great person to vent to, honestly. All feelings of doubt, that maybe things weren’t as bad as you thought, practically disappear when you talk to him. He’s so supportive of you and your recovery.

Look it might not be the smartest choice, but if you wanna let him email them or something, he totally will. You think he’d make some incredible, eloquent, heartfelt speech that tricks them out of ever trying to talk to you again but… he doesn’t do that. He’s not above snapping at them. But he just loves you a lot, and he really fucking hates all of the shit that your parent put you through. You’re such a good person, and you’ve done such an incredible job recovering! He just wants you to be happy.

It’s self care time. He takes more time out of the day to do little things for you. He knows that this isn’t an issue that can be solved in a day, so he just wants to do all that he can to make every day a little more bearable. If he can get you to smile, he’s succeeded.

Michelangelo

He’s observant, although not as much as Leo. Luckily, he’s not above just straight-up asking what’s bothering you. Communication is key, after all. He’s an awesome listener, and he’ll throw in his own comments here and there. Like yeah, no, babe they were really shitty to you, you totally have the right to feel the way that you do!

He’s really proud of you for setting your boundaries the first time! Cutting toxic people out of your life is really, really difficult. But unfortunately, manipulators will always try and come back into your life. That’s what they do, and it hurts so much, but that’s just… what they do. You don’t have to take that laying down though! Every time they try and push you to let them back in… you have to push them away twice as hard. Like, you’re so strong! And you deserve the absolute best things that this world has to offer.

Probably the only one who won’t offer to write to them for you. This is something that you have to do yourself, if you really want to be content with the situation. Although if they start harassing you, he’ll 100% call them/answer the phone to tell them to stop fucking calling.

Ever try making Uum Ali? He hasn’t! Let’s try it! He’s gonna go all out with fun activities and sweet self care ideas. Anything to see that smile again.

#rottmnt x reader #rottmnt imagine #tmnt imagine #TMNT x reader #rottmnt raphael x reader #rottmnt michelangelo x reader #rottmnt Donatello x reader #rottmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt leonardo x reader #tmnt michelangelo x reader #tmnt raphael x reader #tmnt donatello x reader

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blxetsi · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin attack on titan #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlet #eren mikasa armin #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman

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toko-writing-imagines · 4 years ago

Note

Could I request the v3 girls x gn reader who is the ultimate arachnologist? So they study spider, scorpions, and other arachnids :)

Oh god I hate spiders and any other types of arachnids-

They are like so scary most of the time like skdksksks omg- some spiders are cute tho ngl but most are scary. And scorpions? Hate em nope nope nope (╥ω╥`)

Still hope this request is to your liking ^^

V3 girls with GN s/o who is the Ultimate Arachnologist

【Kaede Akamatsu】

• Oh she hates them

• More specifically the spiders

• I feel like she only hates them is because one spider got on her piano while she was playing and she freaked out

• And you being the Ultimate Arachnologist? Oh she's in for a doozy

• You'll try your best to get her to warm up to some spiders since you always seem to have bring a new type of spider everyday for your studies

• It'll take a while tho, so for the most part its just her watching you hold some harmless spider in your hand, being too scared to touch it

• Though she'll warm up soon enough and get the courage to hold one, though once it starts moving she'll immediately want you to take it back

• She's trying though

• Also Kaede will stay away from your lab, too many spiders and possibly important stuff as you do also like to research the venom of certain spiders and scorpions

• At least she will let you ramble and talk about yours studies, but she won't understand really anything

【Kirumi Tojo】

• Loves spiders

• Probably has a pet spider of her own :>

• Have you not seen the spider webs on her outfit?

• So basically a match made in heaven

• There are times she'll leave her pet spider with you whenever she has to do her job as a maid

• You dont mind because then you can study and research more about your now spider child

• She's okay with scorpions

• This woman fears nothing (mostly) but will keep her distance away from the scorpion and make sure you and her spider are safe

• Will absolutely listen to you ramble on about spider facts or anything new you have learned in your research

• Gift her a new little spider for her already pet spider (so they can be buddies) and she'll will be beyond happy

• A happy couple with spider children ^^

【Himiko Yumeno】

• Nyeh?.. You study spiders and scorpions?..

• Can she use them for her magic shows?

• She'll wanna use em for her magic shows (more specifically the scene with the piranhas but with spiders or any other arachnid)

• You don't allow it though

• Sure some spiders you have are harmless, but Himiko probably won't be able to tell the difference between a harmless and dangerous spider

• Plus you don't even have enough of the same spider for her to even use in her magic shows if she needed multiple

• Oh well, she can just find a replacement or use her piranhas again

• Buttttt- you do give her a cute (harmless) lil pet spider (though you mostly take care of it)

• It just sits on the rim of her mage hat and she doesn't really mind it. She sometimes for gets it's even there

• That or a cute clip on spider accessory for her hat

【Angie Yonaga】

• Surprise surprise! She actually likes most spiders

• She sees all creatures wonderful in the eyes of Atua

• Sure she probably didn't have much spiders or many types of insects back on her island but that doesn't mean she should outright judge them

• Soo, there are times where she'll come in your lab unannounced just to learn more about the interestimg creatures

• You don't really seem to mind it, but you do tell her to not mess with any spiders without letting you know

• You just dont want her to accidentally get bitten by any spider you have, deadly or not

• And you make sure she stays away from the scorpions in general

• Sometimes she would even paint or just sketch you working because you are her muse and your talent is like another source of inspiration to her

• Infodump infodump infodump to her please- she enjoys your rambles about your studies and learning more about your talent and the creatures is a huge plus to her

【Miu Iruma】

• She says she isn't scared of any sort of spiders, scorpions, or any other sort of arachnid

• But thats what you expected dating the Ultimate Inventor who is the definition of a "all bark no bite" person

• So when you held up a spider to her to test her, she immediately backed away saying to get it away from her

• You just let out a small chuckle at her reaction

• Yeah, she isn't too fond of spiders or any insects

• Though it does give her inspiration for her inventions!

• There are times her inventions are made to help you with your studies or are generally based on some sort of arachnid

• She'll ask you about it if she needs too, as her inventions need to be as perfect as she is

• You dont mind, in fact you enjoy sharing anything or giving her the information she needs

• Just don't scare her with any sort of spiders again

【Maki Harukawa】

• Just has a indifferent opinion about your talent

• Honestly she doesn't care too much but she does find it interesting

• The Ultimate assassin and the Ultimate arachnologist together? Power couple right there

• There will be times she would be interesting in your studies of arachinids and ask you to teach her about them

• Though more so she's interested in the study of the poison that comes from any dangerous arachinids

• Who knows, she might be able to use the knowledge she learns for something in the future

• Maki will also just sit in your lab while you work, silent as ever

• To some degree she admires how hard you seem to study and hone your talent to its fullest potential

• Might ask you to let her hold any spiders or to take one with her like as a pet

• She also scares kokichi with any spiders you allow her to take care of

【Tenko Chabashira】

• Very mixed feelings

• She loves you and your talent, don't get her wrong

• Just- arachnids? Mm she doesn't really know what to think

• Most likely will end up having an indifferent opinion like Maki

• But if she sees any that are of threat to you or her?

• Be ready because this girl will try to kill it in an instant and that would really suck if it was one you were studying about

• Spider? She's gonna kill it. Scorpion? Will either run or try to kill it

• Will maybe learn to warm up to spiders if you help her with it

• She still finds your talent really cool, and would love learning more about it

【Tsumugi Shirogane】

• Purposefully stays away from your lab

• You knew already beforehand that Tsumugi doesn't like any sort of insects like most people

• They just make her feel sick to her stomach

• Like your talent is amazing and cool in a unique way

• She just doesn't want to be near any sort of insects that are of potential danger to her

• You even tried to warm her up to your spiders that you study, like the harmless daddy long legs

• Though she won't budge at all no matter how hard you try

• But you do respect it nonetheless, so you stopped trying and let her do her own thing

• Though she doesn't mind your rambling from time to time about arachnids, since she usually rambles to you about her favorites animes n series

❀•°•═══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ═══•°•❀

Oh did I stuggle a lot with this-

Its all over the place like seriously

I just wanted to finish this cus its been sitting in my drafts for a while now

Still hope it's good enough to read

~ Mod Toko 💜

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justsomefluff · 4 years ago

Note

Hey I saw your ateez reaction to the reader still using their baby blanket and was wondering if you could do one like that but instead the reader still sucks on their thumb when they sleep ( I still do that, it's kind of embarrassing lol but I cant sleep if I dont 😳🥺😗)

you're so cute aw I hope you like this <3

Hongjoong:

you're his baaabbbbyyyyy

adores you so much

and the first time you guys have a sleepover you're nervous about it

and you're worried you won't be able to fall asleep

of course you haven't told him yet bc you haven't needed to

but when youre in bed and all snuggled up together

you can feel yourself getting drowsy

you cant actually fall asleep because you just need that comfort yk

eventually he falls asleep and you're like FINALLY

plan to wake up before him to hide it

but you fail

you're too comfy cozy when you actually fall asleep

and when I say you could have slept forever right there? I mean it

so when Joong inevitably wakes up before you and sees your thumb in your mouth?

he uwus so hard he falls out of the bed

the thump wakes you up and you yank your thumb out of your mouth, embarrassed

you look down on him from the bed and ask if he’s okay

he just stares at you with so much love in his eyes

clutching his chest with his hands

“you- you're so cute”

Seonghwa:

Mama Hwa… ACTIVATE

I feel like seonghwa is the kind of boyfriend who likes being very upfront with things like insecurities and stuff

And by the time you guys start spending the night together, you know this

So you know you’re gonna have to tell him straight up

And when you do you’re super nervous and he gets worried

Like he doesn’t want to be the reason that you look so uncomfortable right now

Wants you to be able to talk about anything with him without fear of being judged

So encouraging and doesn’t push you to tell him anything

Wants you to come to him in your own time

Even though he’s drowning in worry and he wants to know so bad

“I need to suck my thumb to go to sleep please don’t think im weird I won’t do it here if you’re uncomfortable-“

“ITS OKAY”

Like oh… he’s cool with it

In bed that night, he just snuggles up right behind so that you can comfortable do your thing

As long as he gets to hold you? As long as youre comfortable and peaceful?

That’s all he needs

Yunho:

He honestly doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t get in the way of cuddling

When you tell him and you’re so nervous about it that you’re shaking

He just holds your hands and looks at you so fondly

The look in his eyes alone is enough to calm you down

He’ll lean down a little bit, kiss your forehead, and pull you in for a hug

Just kind of rocks you both back and forth

Stays with you until you’re able to process the information lol

Like…he’s really okay with it… Yunho best boy

Waits until you calm down a little bit

Reassures you the entire time

Just tells you how much he loves you and how perfect you are the entire time

When you find your voice again and ask him if he’s really okay with it?

He’ll lean down sweetly and whisper in your ear

“Yes, but if it gets in the way of cuddles?”

“Im gonna be pissed”

But that makes you laugh a little bit and you promise him you would never let anything get in the way of his cuddles

“Promise?”

“Promise”

Yeosang:

When you bring it up to Yeosang, he’s already half asleep

But you figured you should tell him anyway so that he isn’t surprised in the morning

Since he’s groggy and isnt really fully aware

Looks at you with big eyes and offers you his thumb

“MY THUMB NOT YOURS”

He looks a little relieved, no lie

But you have a good chuckle about it

“I’m just saying you could use mine if you needed it, I have two of them”

“So do I”

“Still…”

Either way he doesn’t care

He really would let you suck his thumb if you really wanted lmao

Just does not care

Just do what you gotta do to get to sleep

As long as it doesn’t interrupt his sleep? His snuggles? Does not matter

Makes you feel really comfortable

Because he doesn’t push you to give him a reason

Doesn’t ask questions, just kind of accepts it as a part of you

Will fall asleep before you and you’re just kinda like

Sigh of relief

Happy with your absolutely perfect boyfriend who somehow manages to get even more perfect with every conversation you have

San:

San strikes me as one of the easiest people to talk to

Especially if you’re dating

Just makes you feel so safe and at home that you’re able talk about any topic you need to

Even if you’re nervous to bring something up, he makes it so easy to talk about

So when you tell him you want to talk about something

He’s so willing and receptive

Like yes, tell me everything and I will do whatever I can to help

Having this conversation might be a little bit more difficult for you if you’re really insecure and worried about what he will think about you afterwards

But he will just wait for you

Never pressures you for the sake of time or anything

Just wants to be there for you until you’re ready

Telling him goes extraordinarily well

He’s like “that’s not weird… I mean I sleep with Shiber the majority of the time. Its not really that much different. If it’s what you need, then I’m okay with it”

Happy, loving boy smile

You love that he is able to compare the things you do to make you feel more normal

Just so amazing at making you feel understood

In this house we are soft for Sannie

Mingi:

So you really wanna bring this up to him before you have your first sleepover

But if he senses that something is bothering you???

Worried boyfriend system: ON

He immediately assumes that he did something wrong

And when you assure him that it isn’t anything that he did?

He’s like WHO HURT YOU

And you’re like… I did? Lmao

Like who hurt me? ME

And he assumes you’re injured

Wrong again, my dear

He’s full sweating by the time you finally tell him what’s on you’re mind

And he takes the biggest breath

Like THANK GOD

He’s just happy its nothing he did lmao

Literally his response is “oh, ok whatever it’s cool”

And he just moves on from it, no need to dwell

It doesn’t change his opinion of you so? NEXT

Wooyoung:

Okay so you know Wooyoung is a ham okay

And thats why you’re worried

Like you know he would never hurt your feelings on purpose

But he might do it accidentally bc this is something that genuinely makes you insecure

So if he makes fun of it, it will hit you where it hurts, even if he doesn’t mean it

You tell him you need to talk… wrong way to start this conversation okay let me tell you

“ARE YOU BREAKING UP WITH ME PLEASE NO”

“WOOYOUNG NO SHUT UP LET ME FINISH”

“Oh”

When you finally get the courage to blurt it out

He damn near laughs at you

Like “THATS IT?!”

“…I guess that’s it”

“As long as you arent breaking up with me”

like… “I was worried you would break up with me after I told you”

“No, dumb, never”

Gives you a hug and a kiss and spends your first sleepover giving snuggles and loving on you

Jongho:

Protective boyyyyyyy

Just wants the best for you, always

So open to talking about things

Also really perceptive

Know you’re worried before you do

“Do you need to talk? I’m here if you do”

Like he’s so loving im cry

Telling him is a breeze

He calms you down and offers conversation before you realize youre ready to tell him about this habit of yours

Will tease you a little

“Oh my literal baby”

“Shut up”

“Wait… is that more comforting than my cuddles wtf?”

And then you have to reassure him that his cuddles are the most comforting and you love them

And thats how he got you to forget about your worries

Because he made you have to comfort him

Jongho psychologist

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grazieschillivera · 4 years ago

Text

All is found

Summary: you are new to the group and have still struggle to get along with Billy until an incident brings you both a bit more together

pairings: Billy Butcher x reader

Note: My first writing since years(!), english is not my native language (thats why I didn’t even dare to write Billy in his accent), i tried to make Billy a bit soft in this story hope it worked out

Word count: ca. 2600

The whole group made a little trip outside off town to interview a formal worker of Vought.It was your fourth week, working with all of this people.And even tough you had the feeling, that you never really fit in, since you happened to come in this group by accident, today you had a really good feeling for the first time, that this stupid time of uneasiness and distrust was over.

Other then the rest Vought didn't know you, nor were you an official woker or a vicitm off this company.Hughie simply walked into your store, completly in a state of shock and spilled almost everything of his last months and all the horrible stuff that had happened to him and all the things he found out about americas beloved heros.

After your shock started to fade away, you took him by the arm and shoved him with you in a more hidden corner of the store.No words or hugs could comfort him , this dude was done with this world, only after several minutes he would calm down.Once this was done, you promised to support him and his little group.Only seconds after that, a huge man with a grumpy look stood in the door frame, near both off you.That was your first encounter with Billy Butcher and even when he was officially fine with you joining the team, (also to make sure you don't tell anything off this information to Vought itself ) you both had escepcially a hard time to get along.

Only the rest of the group started to become used to your presence and you being part ot them now.

But today was a breakthroug, even so strong, that you had the power to decide to go into a pub to celebrate your first achievment since days.Not only could you manage to bring the former Vought worker to spill the information you needed you also prevented him from escaping and endager the group.You ran after him and cut him off.Billy undertook from there , leaving a chilling feeling in your stomach, when he walked past you with a low-key aproving smile, that almost spreed across his whole lips.

After that the mood was lifted and a hint of hope poped up in your mind – maybe Billy wasn't that bad.He even brought you a new drink, when you sat in the pub.

You really liked to listen to their conversations filled with weird information about them and the proper teasing for that.Even you got involved , when it came to you becoming a teacher and that it showed up in their missions, when you would try to manage problems more pedagogical , like today with the former Vought member.They had a really good laugh at it and while you hide your blushing behind your hands you got a glance of how Billy looked at you, smirking in his familiar way, that made your cheeks even warmer.

Some time later you sat in the car with Billy, who agreed to drive you back home, after the rest of the group went to bed in their hideout.You started to become sober again, even though you didn't drink that much.You let the windowpane cool your head.

With a quiet thank you and sat up on your spot and wanted to get out of the car when you recognised your apartment tower but Billy bend over and reached out for your car door to close it again.

,,What?You wanna come up with me?'', you asked halfheartedly but your giggles went off when you saw Billy's unimpressed gaze turn away from you.

,,Is that your your window?'', he asked and nod in the direction (and you could swear there was a rest of a smile on his lips.)

,,Oh.'' was all you could say when you saw that it was open, even though you always made sure to lock all of them before you go.

,,You stay with us for tonight.'', said Billy.

But before he could drive away you got out of the car.

,,Are you stupid?Get back in.''

,,Maybe I just forgot to close it, I will go and check on it.'', you said and turned around.

You could hear how Billy got out of the car.

,,There will be Vought cunts just waiting for you to come back.Don't be stupid and come back.'' said Billy already getting annoyed.

You looked at your apartment tower, still unsure what to do.But when your eyes saw that every window and even the entrance door was still opened, you decided you had to go inside.

,,Y/N!'' Billy hissed through his teeth, when you ran to the tower and left him behind you.

You tried to listen carefully for any suspicious noises and scanned everything on your way until you had reached your flat.Even that door was open and your eyes started to fill with tears as your worries turned out to become true.

You sneaked inside and looked in every room for some people or any other suprise, but there was nothing you could find despite a huge chaos.Nothing was in your shelves or tables anymore while the whole floor was a mess.

After you knew you were alone you had enough courage to turn on the lights and call for your cat.You repeated your searching but you couldn't find her and cursed the person who left the doors open.

That you were on Voughts radar now and that your flat was a complete mess was the smallest worry for you in that moment.

You couldn't help yourself but cry.

,,God!What are you still doing here?'' you asked when you recognised Billy in the room.

You immediatly swollowed you sobbs and truned yourself away from his gaze.

,,You can call yourself lucky that nothing happend, do you know that?Just grab your study stuff and hurry up, who knows what they are up to.'' said Billy.

,,For god's sake I don't care about that.'' you said , your voice was still uneven through your despair.

You stood up from the floor, you had kneeled on and started your searching all over again.

,,Can you stop being a cunt and listen to me.Its just a flat , Y/N!'', said Billy, standing in your way.

,,As if I would care about that.I can't find my cat.'' you admited , a bit embarassed when Billy rolled his eyes.,,She must have become scared and ran outside.''

Billy turned his head away and noticed now the photo of you and your cat some steps away on the ground.

,,Your a crazy cat lady!I always wondered what your blemish would be... besides your strange dance moves.'', said Billy.

You decided to argue about your dance skills at another time.

,,No I'm not.She is just the only one I had for the last years.'' you said, the last part a bit more rumbling.

,,Well I can't see her- lets hurry back home.'' Billy said all confident with his behavior.

,,Fuck off.There is no way I'm coming with you.''

,,Vought knows about you and where you live, its not safe here.'' said he and reached for your hand to carry you with him but you refused.

,,Listen up-'' said he but you interrupted him.

,,No.You listen up now.''you started off but Billy grined down at you.

,,I spend the last weeks on helping you guys and decided to risk everything I have.But I will not leave without my cat..'' you said.

,,Fuck I knew Hughie fucked up when he talked to you than and brought you in our group.You're risking everything just for a cat.You thought this would be a funny adventure but it's not.Its serious- but you're not taking it that way- no wonder, you have no reason for that. '' Billy said with raised voice.

,,No reason?Thats why you can't seem to like me?'' you asked.

,,No its beacuse you're fucking everything up right now.''

,,This is so typical of you.You're just so focused on your goal that you never help others with their problems.I know about Becca and I'm really sorry for that, honestly.That's even my current motivation to not end this whole thing here.And even if this is just a stupid cat, I'm not going without her.I just can't walk away.'' you said and your eyes started to fill up with tears again and your mind started to get flashbacks.

In the moment you mentioned Becca , Billy froze on his spot and his eyes were filled with anger.With almost no air in your lungs you planted yourself in front of him and waited.He never said anything, he just grumbled and walked outside.

Now you were alone and you had no idea what consequences that would have for you.

You searched in your flat again before went outside and continued your search, still aware that some danger might wait for you out there.

When you walked the streets down you dared to look around for Billy's car but it was gone.That killed your last bit of hope that you hadn't just kicked yourself out of the group.

After some time you gave up and walked home without your cat or your friend.You started to get rid of the mess, that was still in your flat untill a knock made your freeze.With a improvised weapon you opened the doof carefully.

,,Please tell me I got the right one'', said Billy, standing in the door frame with a cat on his arm, which was covered in some scratches.

You noded full of disbelvieve and reached out for your cat before you held her close to your heart, while repeating several thank you's.

,,Its not that I intended to find her'' Billy said (but he actually did)

You could feel that there was still tension between you and Billy and you were really sorry for that.

,,I guess I really fucked up then.I'm sorry, honestly I didn't mean to scream at you.'' you said.

,,That was your 'screaming'? You'll have to work on that when you might have to share the couch with Hughie.'' said Billy.,,Who would have known that you can become so feisty?Speaks for you to be a crazy cat lady.'' he added before you disappeard in your bedroom.

You couldn't hide your smile when you turned around to gather up your belongings.

,,Its about finding stuff.'' you said before you could enter the hideout and made Billy wait a second before he got inside.

,,Some supe blew my families house up.He wanted to catch someone, but failed to aim his gaze.I was outside on the fields when I saw how the whole thing just went up in the air.I ran down but I couldn't find my parents in this bruning mess nor that supe.I stood there all alone on those fields and couldn't see anything - it was as if nothing of it ever was really there.I just...start to freak out when I can't find things that are important to me – it makes me freak out.'' you said like a confession.

,,So you want vengeance?'' Billy asked.

,,Nope.I guess I will never see this dude again.I just want to prevent such things from others – Losing something really sucks.'' you said and Billy knew what your hint behind that was.In that moment he looked at you in way you didn't know yet and couldn't describe.

,,Thats so typical pedagogical bullshit, but you have a point there.'' he said defeated but still unimpressed and spoiled the moment you both had a second ago.Just two people , both hurt the same way, looking at each other with that on their mind.

,,Oh fuck off Billy, we had our first sentimental topic right know.'' you said , frustrated that he had to mocked you with your study again.

,,Welcome to the team.'' he said and went inside.

You first feared that you lost your chance to get along with Billy but when you found yourself on the couch with your cat within the next minutes, you felt the quite the opposite.

It wasn't the tidiest place but when you looked around and saw everyone from the group already asleep, you felt this almost forgotten kind of peace.

Billy watched you from the kitchen island and walked to you to plant his hand on your shoulder for a brief moment, and handed you a cup of tea.

,,Don't get used to that treatment.''

You shook your head eagerly and took your tea in quiet appreciation, while looking up to him.Earning an unsure look that turned into his familiar smile.

,,Crazy Cat Lady.'' you heard him mumble into his beard but deep down you knew that this was a good sign.

#the boys #billy butcher #billy butcher x you #billy butcher x reader

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todoki-doki · 4 years ago

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Can I request Denki with a stomachache and you can have whoever you want taking care of him? You can also choose what caused it, I don't really care honestly lol. But please no throwing up or anything, if thats alright with you. If you don't wanna do it tho its chill, don't worry about it.

in which kaminari makes a dumb decision and gets a stomach ache as a result sick!kaminari, caring!bakugou, caring!kirishima tw: none word count: 911

“That was a bad idea.” “Yeah, no shit, dunce face. Drink your goddamn Pepto.”

Among 1-A (and the Bakusquad especially,) Kaminari is known for...not being the brightest. And the predicament he’s in now is definitely a prime example of that. Who else would think to put chocolate syrup and pickles on rice, and proceed to eat a whole bowl of the mix? Nobody. Nobody would. And now, because of an idea that Kaminari himself would call a ‘work-of-genius’, the electric blonde is now suffering an awful stomach ache, curled up on Kirishima’s bed while Bakugou aggravatedly urges him to drink some Pepto Bismol and the redhead watches the scene with a mix of concern, sympathy, and disappointment on his face.

“But Pepto is so chalky,” Kaminari complains, picking up the plastic cup regardless. He had been the one to come complaining about his stomach being upset in the first place, so it would just be rude to totally deny the type of care offered to him. With a gulp and a grossed-out look on his face, Kaminari downs the cup, sticking his tongue out in a grimace after swallowing the vile pink hell. “Why is it pink anyway? That’s so unnatural! If it makes me feel worse I’m blaming you guys.”

Bakugou huffs while Kirishima points out, “Denki, bud, you’d probably blame us anyway.” To which Kaminari responds, “would not!” To which Bakugou opens his mouth to respond, but is quickly tapped by Kirishima in a silent way of urging him not to carry on the argument. Bakugou almost does it anyway before the sound of Kaminari whimpering softly before clutching at his stomach hits his ears, and he feels the heart nobody believes he has drop. He sighs and goes quiet. Kirishima turns back to Kaminari, humming sympathetically. “Really not feeling so hot, huh?” He sits down next to Kaminari, patting the bed for Bakugou to come sit too. “It’s your own fuckin’ fault, idiot pikachu,” Bakugou grumbles, but he obeys Kirishima’s suggestion, sitting on the other side of the bed and crossing his arms. “What Bakugou means is, you did decide to do something pretty stupid…” Kirishima gives Bakugou a scolding look, but the ash blonde ignores him, rolling his vermillion eyes instead. Kaminari doesn’t pick up on this little interaction.

“Well, it didn’t seem stupid in the two milliseconds I took to think about it!” Kaminari perks up with a confident defense, but then he hears his own sentence, and he shrinks back into himself with a deep groan. He takes a pillow, hugging it tightly near his midsection as he pulls his knees to his chest, resting his chin atop them. “Okay, okay, I get it...stupid decision, I know…” Kirishima reaches over to put a hand on Kaminari’s back, running a gentle caress up and down his spine. “But, hey, we all make stupid decisions sometimes, right? It’s no biggie!” He reassures. “Mistakes are manly, bro. But really, I just don’t like seeing you in pain, you know?” Kaminari nods, sucking in a breath as his stomach cramps up again. “Yeah, I know, I know.” Bakugou looks at the two, brows furrowed slightly in consideration as if he’s debating on something. After a long moment, he makes his decision, scooting up to lean against the headboard. “C’mere, dumbass,” he says, putting an arm out and beckoning for Kaminari to come lean against him. Kaminari looks at him with his brows raised, clearly confused. Bakugou doesn’t really suggest cuddling--it’s something the whole squad just does without waiting for him to approve of it.

“Fuckin’ come,” Bakugou repeats, gesturing again, albeit a little more dramatically. Kaminari hesitates for another moment before giving in, leaning his head against Bakugou’s shoulder. Bakugou takes the pillow from Kaminari, throwing it to the floor carelessly before placing his hand to his friend’s gurgling middle instead. “What--oh, your hands are warm,” Kaminari hums contentedly, melting under Bakugou’s touch. He lets his eyes flutter closed as Bakugou begins to rub gentle circles into the taught flesh with practiced care; Kaminari would ask how he’s so good at this if he wasn’t so shocked. Even Kirishima looks a little surprised by the gesture. Bakugou sees the redhead’s gaze on him, the way the other is looking at him like he has two heads. “What? Don’t fucking look at me like that.” Although his tone suggests he should be yelling, it’s clear that the ash blonde pities Kaminari enough to not scream in his ear. Kirishima puts up his hands in mock surrender, shaking his head. He moves up towards the headboard so he’s on Kaminari’s other side, deciding to entangle his fingers in the other’s yellow hair, stroking the bright locks in what he hopes is a comforting manner. Kaminari is putty in both of their hands, relaxing completely from the tense way he held himself moments ago.

“Man, being part of the Bakusquad sure has its perks,” Kaminari comments, though it’s a mumbled remark. He sounds like he’s falling asleep. “Another word and I will fucking throw you off the bed.”

“It’s not even your bed to make that decision!” “Nobody asked, Shitty Hair!” “Guuuuys, stop fighting!” Kaminari laughs before courageously commenting, “you sound like a married couple.”

“That’s fucking it, I’m throwi--”

“No! Bakugou! Be nice! You were just nice two minutes ago!” Despite the pain, Kaminari finds it in himself to laugh.

Being in the Bakusquad really does have its perks.

#mha #bnha #mha sickfic #bnha sickfic #my hero academia sickfic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia sickfic #boku no hero academia #sick!denki #caring!bakugou #caring!kirishima

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innerqueencat · 3 years ago

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I guess, this is really a place for me to dump all the trash I accumulated this week...

Hey..... to whoever that is reading this.

My name is Daniel, an anonymous name, just so my incredibly unique one of a kind name doesn't get seriously screwed. To find out someone I have to tolerate in the real world gets a hold of this, things would just be bad. I also like the idea of having my own space in the world where I could dump my crap and see if anyone likes what I have to say. Either way, I don't care if anyone doesn't like what I have to say, lol cause i’m saying it either fucking way. Because im not real right I'm just behind a screen.... sigh... Maybe some of you... anyone at all who reads this could give me some answers.. Look, before you start thinking im some sick freak that is some serial killer behind the screen then you're wrong. Im actually like anyone you cross by at a new job, at a school, anywhere really. I blend in and I hate that. I wish I stood out more, obviously in a good way. I guess you can say im going through a lot and I gotta fucking let it out somewhere, or I'll just rot to the sound of my own voice. Its torture to keep some of this shit inside and maybe saying things you never normally say annoymously kind gives me a lot of courage. I wish I could always be that way.. Sadly, you know what I mean. if you're anywhere like me, you have a ton of fuck faces to avoid throughout your life from seeing the real you. Not everyone is that accepting and frankly, you can say I have zero too little patience to dealing with people’s opinions on MY LIFE...... yeah, if you're human and you're on a fucking Tumblr at 8:17pm at night, you definitely know what I'm talking about.

Where it really stemmed from was my insanely hot crush for this guy... Yeah, I said guy. I’m straight looking, every time I'm out people always ask, “Why doesn't a good looking guy like you have a girlfriend, huh?” I shrug it off and I say the same shit, “I’m not ready to settle down just yet..” Whatever, just take me out of my misery.

... His like my best friend. Ok? His my best friend and I don't know how to tell him that I wanna try being more.. I don't know, just typing it here sounds kinda crazy. I usually just think about it at night, lol if you know what I mean. It’s the only thought that lets me nut (not to get to personal but hey you're reading my thoughts remember...I'm only human ;) ) So.. you see what my problem is, and he is so confusing honestly. One minute he is all about pride talking about “can’t believe someone cut me off, don't they know its pride month!!” As if it personally offended him... As if he had a reason to celebrate pride.... interesting right?

One time, we were in his room and we were playing video games for hours, we had just clipped our fourth joint of the day. I begin to start day dreaming about us mid way of hanging out... I usually never let myself escape to those ideas especially not around him, I mean, I'm his best friend... but then again.. not every best friend thinks of the other one naked right? right...

Sigh... We’re also going on vacation next month together as.. “Bros”

Somebody shoot me. This should be interesting. I wonder what would happen if he only gave in. Sometimes when im in my little day dreams, I wonder how it would feel if he was into me the same way. I imagine we would be on vacation, half way drinking and smoking by the pool, his skin grazing pass mine,

my heart beats faster, suddenly I feel blood rushing everywhere In my body, especially by my pockets.... He pauses, with his thick black hair soaking wet, teardrops falling off the side of his cheekbones... I melt

He says something like this, “You’re so cute... I wish I could kiss you.” Finally. OF course I wish you could kiss me. Thats all I think about every morning I wake up, and every time I lay my head at night. I imagine the goosebumps, I imagine the butterflies, I Imagine your hands caressing me inside and out and you're eyes. I want to look into your eyes the entire time.

Buuuuuuuuut, instead it goes like this...

“See you later bro.” FML. - Dan

#blogging #lgbtq #gayboy #gayguylove #gaymanlove #anime #yaoi #Yuri #lesbian #guy #girl #sexblog #fantasy #fanfic #fan fiction #fan fiction blog

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bunnyriviere · 4 years ago

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my god i cant get my head out of this mess so imma rant, then MAYBE i can focus on my assignment like damn babe i thought your passion is stats, why are you obsessing over a guy that doesnt care enough. huh? care about stats instead babe!!!!!! i just want to only have to care about maths but i know my life is ruined if i dont have relationships, so i try. but i must suck at it so bad if everything just ends in flame like this, im so tired im teary eyes.

im on my phone and honestly dont know how to do the uh line to cut short the post so if anybody unfortunately see this im sr :(

this is not even about a romantic relationship, i dont even know why i just couldnt like a person like that but damn fine. this is about a male friend i made in grade 11 i guess. i have never liked men. im afraid of them and dont want to have to interact with them ever. i know its bad and i should change but i just really want them away from me im sorry..... so i wasnt even friendly with him, but i was polite, i know how to be a decent person. he was friendly and nice and friends to all which only made me think aw geez just stop being friendly i know this is not because you like me. but i was eating the snack he brought to class anytime he brought it without much thought cause he offered i aint gonna say no. all the while still not consider him a friend. not until a friend said im not being nice if im eating his food while still not seeing him as a friend. and i have always feel bad about not being friendlier towards men in general and he made the 1st move which made it easier for me to just go along. so i did and thats how we became friends.

hes really nice and i mean it. i think really highly of him. maybe its just me having bad luck so i havent met many that are nice?? i really believe they are just myth tbh, im about to settle for that thought. and this guy is really how i wish is the standard for all men. hes just that good, i have no complain. i truly like him and glad that my friend said something cause otherwise we probably wouldnt be friends.

again no romantic feeling. i just have to, remind the invisible audiences of this post i guess.

now we all know covid. and because of it, i couldnt come home and wanted to lay in bed even more than normal. so i didnt push for it when he said he couldnt meet anybody in the summer because he didnt want to accidently give somebody it. just saying that cause this is a 2 ways road right, nothing is ever only his fault, its also mine. i want to rant about my feelings but i dont want to dismiss any mistakes i made yk. so we didnt meet up then.

christmas came and before then we were talking about christmas gift and i didnt wanna any so i didnt prepare anything also. this person is too nice and i dont want him to feel bad. but anw i just thought maybe we can still meet up even if its not for gift exchanging. but i didnt ask or anything at all cause well, hes from here, he has family and friends that are definitely closer to him, and he had work. i know hes busy and if he wanna hang out he know where to find me. i just dont want to accidentally add something more onto his list of to do. he would be too nice to say no. and we are not that close i dont want to add more work for him. i dont have relatives or friends here other than him so im free anytime if he wanted to meet up. but that didnt happen, i dont think we talked at all. which fine i hate to admit but i was hurt. ugh hate showing how vulnerable i am. yuck. yikes. -100/10.

i just didnt think about it? i didnt try to reach out either so that was my fault too but just, if he didnt care then i wont either. so i really didnt think about him anymore.

came reading week! it really was 1 year from the last time i saw him honestly. he asked to meet up and if i want to go somewhere and tbh no im in the countryside rn is that the corect word so there are no place to go. but i remembered this 2ndhand place i like to go sometimes and i hadnt gone in a while so why not. so we agreed on that. and i know he was probably just tired, and there are people who sigh a lot, its not uncommon. but not seeing him for a long while and knowing this is a place i suggested, him doing that really made me feel bad. i probably shouldnt, but couldnt get the thought that he was probably doing this just because hes friendly not because hes friend with me. it fucking sucked. when we got out and he dropped me back at my home i still felt so bad he didnt get to enjoy himself so i asked if we could watch jojo together. yeah he loves jojo. i dont really care for anime im so sr i prefer realing manga lmao sr.

now ok maybe im still being dumb, probably. but tldr i truly believe people can be friends and affectionate even when they are from opposite sex. it didnt work out so well cause i got molested lmao cause some other guy thought that was cool to do. so that honestly worsen my uh wariness of men. but like i said, i think ive said it, i trust this person. honestly i do, we hug a lot and i had never felt afraid of it. i believe he wont do anything. im just really comfortable around him. so we cuddled while watching anime, that had happened before im really sr if you think thats wrong, i still believe that could happen.

but maybe its because i was tense from thinking he really didnt enjoy hanging out with me that much. i kept connecting remembering what the molester did and while i just knew i swear i knew he wouldnt do anything like that, i couldnt get it out of my head. i felt bad for that but there were just 2 things that happened so similar to what happened with the molester. haizz he kinda laced our fingers together but it wasnt handholding, same thing happened once before with m-dude and it felt weird but i didnt want to question that friendship so i didnt. and at some point of jojo i kinda jumped and he held me back, not pulled me back or anything but was holding me in place, and it was probably to make me feel safe but honestly if anybody even use a little bit of force i will just think of when i finally got the courage to turn around to confront the other dude for touching me, he held me back and i couldnt move at all. i think i froze a bit.

argh back to the main story. see how i totally suck? hahaha just blaming this friend for something somebody else did. im so sorry, i suck.

well after that we picked up talking again but idk! was it me overthinking? was it? because it felt like he didnt want to talk to me at all. it was, how to say it. he was friendly yes he talked hmm. damn how-- it felt like he didnt care for what i said. its a feeling idk how to put into words. and that sucks. he didnt seem interested in me before, felt happy enough when we cuddled, then back to being uninterested. i knew i know he doesnt want me romantically. damnit am i only good now for hugs. are we friends? what i meant is not sex but am i only good for physical stuff? i dont fucking know, the m-dude obviously just want a fwb and i was to trusting to notice. is this my gut feeling or my anxiety idk!

another side story. another guy suddenly expressed interested in me right when covid hit but it was because he couldnt get over his ex so i stopped talking to him for a while and picked it back up when i thought he was no longer idk being annoying about it. i thought he had to at least like me as a person to even express he liked me romantically. but apparently not. he looked so uniterested suddenly and denied when i asked, then stopped reading my texts.

so you see. i just cant if haiz ok do- do anybody like me? just as a person? idk.

god i knew i fucking suck for being so sensitive and anxious and im sr for wanting stuff but maybe i want you to look like you care a bit when i said you are reminding me of the m-dude, instead of saying ok we can talk less then. i already felt like you dont want to talk to me, you dont have to say that...

officially crying heyho.

just saying no you dont dont like talking to me when your actions were saying the opposite is not cutting it either... i also thought highly of the covid confession guy too but what happened now. im sorry for comparing you to others! but i learn from experiences... and this was sus... (yah its a joke i cant help it.)

and if i just agreed and stopped talking to him right it just, felt like a confirmation that yeah its true hes just letting me hug him not because im his friend and he knows i like hugs so he lets me. but its more like its convenient that a girl is hugging him so he wont say no. something like that. that sucks. thats all im good for. if i were his friend, it would include the talking too.

ah!! i know we are not close, we are both casual friend. he is definitely not on my top list to tell stuff to but damn i still like him enough to hurt. and to not asking for too much.

so anw i kept talking with the anxiety that never got solved and that made me frustrated and i picked at his insecurity to made him hate me enough to stop talking to me cause i couldnt bring myself to stop, id feel so bad. this is really toxic and i admit this is not the first time ive done it, to a different person but its the same thing.

hahaha act like i hate him while just want him to see how i feel so bad. yeah im a tsundere.

it worked so i stopped talking to him for a week and focused on talking to my other friends. friends i know without a doubt love me and want me because i really didnt feel that with him at all. sorry i know you were tired with covid.

that made me felt better and i was not in panic mode anymore, i can calmly assess things now. and before, i felt bad because i truly believed i was just seeing things, i couldnt see pass my anxiety and was blaming him for what, nothing. he did want to talk to me. but my mind was clearer after that one week and yeah i cant really make more excuses? yes i was sensitive and made things worse, but there must be something for me to pick up first. it didnt just come out of thin air.

so i sent him some texts saying that, because just leaving without a word is bad communication. i have to tell him and at least give him a chance to change i guess? did he need change? im doubting myself.

i- hm he just said yeah his look and way of talking really make him look like hes tired and uninterested, and laughed at my marie kondo joke. you know the one. idk! all i saw in that was yeah thats how it is, accept it. and i-- i, cant? i dont want to... i dont want to :(

but my mindset for just about anything is value the process, not the result, like as long as you put work in! thats great! and he- he was, talking... he put work in..... i would feel so bad to deny it. but at the same time, it was not enough... i hate! to say you need to do at least this and that! but it didnt feel like enough..... im sorry :(((( i am.

ive talked about my tendency to lash out. last time i didnt want it but i had to get away quick so i didnt mean it but i still did it. but this time i was truly angry. because i just wished there was more care for me but i know that was all there was, and i couldnt do anything about it. couldnt even ignore him. he was even drier then, and i got it, i lashed out at him, ofc he wasnt going to be friendly. but just why were you trying so hard... no, no it was not trying hard, you were answering texts at the speed of once every 2 days. why were you answering at all? you clearly didnt want to. but again so was i. did i really have a say.

so i sent angry texts at him. about how fake his friendliness was, did he really consider me friend, why did he keep saying no it was not that he was uninterested while it was obvious that he was. also that i want to fight him. i really do want to. hopefully he will beat me up hard enough that i can be in a coma and die in 9 months idk. (listen 9 months is enough time to make a new human, if im not awake by then, you need to let me go, thats my wish.)

he said that no he doesnt like to fight and thats the last text i got from him.

because ofc i dont hate him him, the whole him idk what im saying. just angry and hate that hes not matching me on how we value this relationship i guess. not besties like how he likes to joke, but eh, was hoping more than what i was sensing. i still sent a text being like ok fine do you still want to talk and if so how do you want me to do. but he didnt answer it in time so i decided for him that nah we wont talk anymore.

heyho i was sad, i am sad. and ok hear me out, HEAR ME, i dont use tarot for future but just for my feelings and how to deal with them, and my deck said ok babe this is the end, you will have to move on now. so i will.

tbh lmao for every relationships that i emotionally invested in. i always make an essay on my feelings because thats how i conclude things, and so i wont forget that my feelings are legit. so the moment i started this post, hes dead to me i guess.

wow this post is long. but i did really like him so.

im moving to uni city next month but i know he will leave in the summer so i wont have to worry about seeing him then. and probably not further in the future either, we go to different uni and are quite far away and our common are not gonna question things i dont think. dont think they would even notice, we are not in a group or anything. and even if i do end up meeting him. my feelings while was anger, but it stemmed from sadness and disappointment so it wouldnt be too bad. on the other hand... m-dude..... i am afraid of meeting you, lets please please please not meet damnit.

#xxxpauline

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