#it is definitely a trust issue in this case but there isnt really a fix for it. except trying to get closer to everyone i guess?

[windupaidoneus]

this need for approval is a fucking disease it is absolutely mind boggling that i need feedback on what i say & post or my mind decides everyone takes a look at it & goes yep here goes this annoying freak again talking about his annoying freak things. & im not even like that with everyone. it literally does not fucking matter oh my goddd grow UP! im normal now. i understand my minds machinations. misto is nodding in approval at me

[oleanderblume]

Okay more spinel

Because her character is cool and I like her.

So let's get on with this.

I know a shut ton of people heavily relate to spinel because she has an ostensibly relatable backstory, but also because she represents BPD to a rather miraculous extent. And I am in the mood to explain WHY.

So, when a lot and I mean majority neurotypical folks hear of BPD they think "this person is abusive and dangerous" obviously that's not always the case, the ironic contrast I have been seeing is that despite spinel's character typing, people are falling head over heals for her while at the same time; if faced with someone who actually does have BPD they would probably feel threatened by them. More on that later.

Anyways, how does BPD work? Why is spinel a decent example for someone with bpd?

Bpd or borderline personality disorder is a trauma based disorder characterized by extreme paranoia, fear of abandonment, social withdrawal or lashing out, excessive emotional eruption (feeling everything very loudly and all at once, but only short periods of time), general lack of identity and purpose, and spiraling among other things.

Because borderline personality stems from trauma and abuse, usually neglect of some sort, the person who has it has an innate urge to please others, a desire to be seen and heard and cared for heavily contradicted by their unstable fear and paranoia surround the people they most care for, that contradiction is what causes emotional outbursts and spiraling.

So, let's apply this to spinel in a way that's understandable aside from just pointing out the similarities in the disorder and her characterization.

Spinel has a history of prolonged abuse, despite gems living for thousands upon thousands of years, spinel is relatively young in comparison to her primary abuser, pink diamond. (Because spinel was made for pink and thus existed after pink)

Pink diamond is also her primary source of companionship. To put it into time relevance, pink is like a twelve year old, and spinel is like a 6 year old.

Spinel's only goal is to entertain and be a friend to pink, but she relies heavily on pink to be consistent in her approval of what spinel does as entertainment (truthful) and she relies on pinks companionship for the relationship to function as it's supposed to. She gives entertainment and companionship in return for approval and companionship.

The balance became off kilter due to pink wanting other than that companionship, a colony, and lack of proper communication leading to her manipulating spinel into playing a game she could not win.

Pink didnt communicate her disapproval of spinel's behavior, which in turn exasperated her own enjoyment with spinel, leading to that manipulation.

This lack of communication spurs the desire for approval in spinel's character, she wants to be good and a friend, was lead to believe she was, when in reality she wasn't, in her eyes. The realization of this began to dawn on her after pink left, but likely before Steven's message ie:

"Is this how it goes, am I doing it right?"

Spinel spent 6000 years in the garden waiting for pink to come back, under the impression that if she continued to play the game, correctly, that she would eventually return. Hence, her desire to be seen as a good friend who obeys and entertains above all else.

This is why she displays a deep desire to be a good gem be good at her job, and why she feels that she inherently isn't.

After she receives Steven's message, she is forced into the realization that the game didnt matter, pink wasnt ever going to come back, from her perspective, pink didnt care for her or want to be her friend, which causes spinel to feel like she is a bad gem, that she doesnt do her job, that she isnt good enough.

Spinel has received only the information from the broadcast (I am including the book reading in this because it sets up the broadcast scene and white diamond speaks to the screen directly after) she knows very little about the rebellion, or the war, only that pink made new friends, had a son and didnt come back for her withing the numerous perceived opportunities she could have. This aspect is important, as if the broadcast told the whole truth, spinel likely would have understood a bit more of the gravity of the events that had taken place.

After spinel learns of pinks new friends and Steven's existence, this is when her severe neglect and abandonment as well as a loss of identity kick in, she is filled with rage, despair and self loathing.

Spinel has lost her identity, her purpose, because she feels she isnt good enough for what she was made to do, despite being a perfect cut, she is nothing, all she will ever be is nothing, nothing to pink, nothing to anyone, nothing to herself.

After having no companionship and no means of safe emotional outlet, spinel is effectively blindsided by the sudden and impactful amount of pain and hate she is feeling. She has no way of confronting this emotion, and she doesnt know how to confront it so she does the next best thing, vent it out on people who were closest to pink, her best friends.

Essentially spinel cant focus her rage on pink diamond because she is gone, so instead she will focus it on the people who, to her, took pink away from her.

Now, given spinel's self deprecating nature, she likely had no real plan afterward, more than likely, she fully intended to be poofed, rejuvenated or shattered. After all, she is nothing to pink, and she is even less to Steven, she doesnt deserve to exist.

From observation, the speed at which she arrived on earth from after she heard the broadcast, she was likely having a severe mental breakdown and spiral, which can be incredibly hard to get out of when one has low self esteem and no proper means of emotional release.

A spiral is when a person (or in this case a character) becomes self deprecating and an increasingly more volatile rate, they are incredibly hard to get out of because the mental illness doesnt allow positive thought, the person will feel bad for their actions or feel bad about trauma or failures and will continually throw insults at themselves or those around them for trying to convince them differently.

Spinel spirals twice in the movie, the most excellent example is her paranoia of being abandoned leading to irrational thought and self depreciative spiraling and lashing out as a means of emotional protection.

I'm not really going to speak on the middle of the movie because it essentially rehashes that emotional trauma and neglect I mentioned earlier, the only difference is that is is comparable to a person with BPD who has effectively repressed those traumatic memories and is slowly reliving them, which subsequently causes a major relapse.

What I will say however, is that some other common symptoms appear in spinel like they do with folks with BPD. Spinel has an fp. A favorite person basically.

Folks with BPD often pick a companion of theirs and become extremely attached to them, they care incredibly deeply for them, and can also feel incredibly betrayed by them when they dont act in ways that the person is comfortable ie; displaying traits that can, to the person with BPD lead to abandonment.

Folks with BPD also tend to tailor their personalities for their companions in order to receive that approval they desire most.

Spinel displays this fairly effectively when she lashes out at Steven when he tells her to stay with the new crystal gems, she also displays the tailor trait when she mimics amethysts actions during the nobody else duet.

Finally, when spinel reverts back to her dark form, she displays the other symptoms of BPD, hesitance to trust, then blind trust and desire to please, her paranoia over Steven leaving her, and the subsequent spiral leading her to lash out in effort to protect herself from more emotional trauma and eventually dropping out of her spiral and then the final, trying to leave before abandonment can happen.

This is a fairly important one, as a lot of folks with BPD tend to feel that abandonment is an eventuality, and another form of protection from that is purposely distancing oneself and leaving before that abandonment can take place.

Spinel, after her second spiral is still very much traumatized, and still very much self destructive, has low self esteem, despite wanting to be better, so to spare herself the pain of facing people she has actively harmed in her worst moments, and to spare herself from what she believes is an eventual abandonment, she desires to leave and start over.

Do I think this is healthy? Mmm..no. mostly because I know that folks with BPD have an incredibly hard time breaking paranoia, low self esteem and self destructive behavior. I definitely dont think that spinel should have left with the diamonds because they have no idea what she is capable of and what she has been through, or how to deal with her self destructive behavior in a healthy way. They arent even able to completely overcome their own abusive behavior so..no, I dont think it was a good decision to have her go with them. But that doesnt really matter right now lol.

What matters is; spinel is a good example of what it is like to have BPD, she is a good example of the low self esteem and self destructive behaviour people with BPD have. She is a good example because she isn't seen as a completely lost cause by Steven and the others, despite what she herself believes. She has an acurate portrayal of the trauma that develops bpd, the symptoms of BPD in an easily digestible way and she isnt portrayed to have these issues completely resolved by the end of the film.

She very VERY quickly jumps into another relationship that can very easily be destroyed by either the diamonds or herself, and still struggles with low self esteem and the desire to be approved of by Steven, and the diamonds.

She isnt fixed by the end. But she doesnt get treated as a terrible person either.

Most people who talk about BPD who dont have it themselves very often say that they are inherently abusive, and overlook that persons trauma. That doesnt happen for spinel, Steven sympathizes with her trauma, despite largely being sidetracked and not fully indulged in helping her for her sake, rather than helping his own needs.

It's understandable and infuriating at the same time. Because the type of person spinel is, requires a different approach and a far more delicate one at that, something Steven hasn't had the same quite of experience with yet. Which is what largely caused her to spiral the second time. And it wasnt until Steven realized how selfish he had been that he was able to even make a proper and not misleading connection with spinel.

So there you have it, my analysis of spinel, why she portrayed BPD very very well, and how bod is a largely misunderstood and stigmatized disorder.

[the-kipsabian]

Fife wouldn't reach out to Nate directly, especially at first bc she is insta turned off by bad boys. Once she is exposed to him more through Mads and Kit and Ayu though she warms up and is friendly(she was never *unfriendly* but def didn't go out of her way for him before she got to know him). Though after October she would have a meter thick wall up to him, just for how he treated her pals but if he ever went off at her it would be immensely triggering due to an old abusive "friend" she had

for 2 years who treated her like crap and she would just. Not. Get over it. She is super trusting but if you break it, it is broken and that is that without an *explanation* and even then. Takes a loottttt to get trust back. Fife/Nate/Natemare angst? Wanna see how you'd imagine it going down bc Fife does not drop her disdain if you deserve it.

➭ upon learning that fife is friends with all his other friends, nate would definitely be welcoming her friendship with open arms whenever fife wants to take that first step tho. nate isnt pushing it, he knows his reputation and everything else, but all their mutual friends are telling him that she’ll warm up at some point we promise and they keep telling fife that hes not really that bad honestly, thats just how he is

➭ i feel like everyone is going to get pissed at nate(mare) during/after october for the stuff he pulls around people, so even if he never did anything directly to fife, she would definitely have all the reasons to be upset and mad at him for everything he did to her friends, creating all the havoc and anxiety tbh. and just like with everything else, nate doesnt understand why people are mad at him, like he didnt do this, but hes still really determined to fix everything afterwards, cause while yeah he doesnt remember doing it, but people are blaming him, so hes gonna take that blame and fix things cause hes nate➭ if this is a situation where fife hasnt been directly affected by anything done/said by natemare, nate goes forward to possibly first trying to talk with fife, who just tells him off cause you hurt my friends how dare you. and then nate starts patching things up with everyone else cause he wants to show fife that he cares. it starts with kit whos mad at him for everything too and especially how he treated ayu, im sure mads is somewhere in between there in case he did anything to her (i have. plans. not gonna elaborate here this is not about that), and ayu is at the end of the line cause he just really dont wanna talk to nate, but in the end everything is resolved. so nate rolls back to fife like a month later, at the end of november and is like. can you forgive me im sorry i did all those things. and at least on some level fife would forgive him i feel like, cause well. nate took his time to make things better again. but fife might forgive, but never entirely forget. shes definitely watching you nate, and if you pull anything like this again youre gonna regret everything you ever did➭ in the mean time tho, fife will rekindle at least some level of a friendship with nate, as he seems to be returning back to normal after october is over and all this mess is being handled by him. they resume to hangouts and art activities together, tho i’d imagine more with a group of friends than just the two of them together, as fife is still a bit wary around him

➭ IF this is a case where natemare did something to fife directly (im calling like. the usual stuff he does. so making fun of something she likes and is important to her, say her friendship bracelets?), its a much more dire situation tho. like afterwards fife just absolutely refuses to talk to nate, about anything whatsoever, and if he keeps pushing the issues she would just. explode at him to leave her alone. so nate would go to the mutual friends to find out whats up. whoever is willing to talk to him, that is. and only after patching things up with the rest of the friends, hes able to get to the bottom of the things of what happened with fife and hes. freaking heartbroken➭ so nate. in his best efforts to fix his mistakes. learns to make friendship bracelets to replace ones that he possibly broke or to make sure he has one to give to fife in hopes that she’ll eventually forgive him? which, either way not depending on if she accepts his peace offering or not, leads into her giving him a lecture on the importance of friendship and “no nate this isnt the kind of stuff you do you dont understand” and its. just low key implied that fife has had issues with “friends” in the past➭ and nate doesnt want this situation to repeat. nope never not on his watch he wants to better himself and fix this. hes not really sure if fife will ever forgive him about it, especially considering what he did, but hes gonna go around asking for help and what do and what fife likes that he can try to let her know that he just really wants to be her friend➭ in the end i feel like. no matter what nate does or how he succeeds, while he probably will never be fully back on fife’s good list, after seeing the effort nate puts into bettering himself and fixing his ways, fife would. at least be tolerant of him. okay hes trying to his best at least and he patched things up with everyone else he did wrong, so.. maybe hes not so bad? fife wouldnt consider him a close friend, probably more of a classmate than a friend tbh, but. they would get along on at least some level. also cause fife sees that he gets along with the rest of her friends again so. maybe this boy deserves a chance. but its a strong maybe tho

[bettycrocker]

alongside with mary, a lot of people seem to think im giving robert a free pass too. while robert definitely isnt as bad at joseph in the sense of being an absolute asshole he's still got his own issues to deal with.

roberts hard to find a lot of issues with, considering he does want to better himself while, compared to joseph who just avoided really taking any responsibility for his actions. robert at the very least realized "hey im kind of being an asshole."

he has a pretty good reason to not be trusting of people as joseph did use him and then leave him the same way he used the main daddy, just he went at robert when he was in a much more vulnerable state. i genuinely feel like robert went to him in his time of need after losing his wife and losing contact with his daugher when she went off to college. robert had started having issues before his wife died which is why he had such a poor relationship with his daughter and why she just straight up bailed on him when her mother died.

we don't really have any reason for what his issues were prior to his wife dying though. maybe that was around the time where he felt the dover ghost stalking him and his paranoia got the better of him. he started drowning it out by drinking and collecting an assortment of knives in order to protect himself in the case of being attacked by whatever he thought was stalking him. what we do know is that we can assume he has some mental illnesses of his own that started developing close to when his wife died.

robert probably wouldn't go to joseph of his own accord for comfort, joseph probaly went to him when he noticed his fragile state and insisted on helping him. thats when they started becoming close. joseph would treat him with a type of kindness he hadn't felt since his issues surfaced, even his wife was likely to be wary of him before death so she probably didn't show him any kind of warmth. but joseph did, the only one who would listen to him and comfort him in the state he was in.

joseph would probably go on cryptid hunts with him just to humor him and even gave him his blue sweater during one of those hunts. im sure none of the rest of the neighborhood really thought about it being anything deep, hell joseph was probably putting on that guise of "oh i have marital issues with my wife thats why im not spending time with her" in front of robert too. and i'd say after several months joseph got robert on his yacht and slept with him telling him that he and his wife were through, that it was fine, being fully aware that robert was probably ready to try and move on from the death of his wife.

of course, this backfired on robert. when robert tried to even hang out with joseph, joseph probably dropped the "oh im actually staying with my wife haha" but robert isnt exactly stupid. he probably saw right through it, immediately pieced it together that joseph straight up used him for sex. in which case he returned the sweater, angrily, and made a point to avoid joseph without it being apparent that they had been involved in something. he shouldn't have slept with joseph until he had 100% confirmation that he and mary were through, but like i said, he was still at a fragile state and joseph had been playing it up for months like he wanted robert more than he wanted to stay in his marriage with mary.

and this most definitely brought on a new wave of paranoia and anxiety, his drinking made a huge comeback in his life and he picked up even more bad habits of the such. he'd hang out at jim and kims every night, going out on the town and acting like an irresponsible teenager because he just didn't care anymore. he decided his life wasn't going anywhere anymore.

his sense of humor turned into that of weaving lies and tricking people and he got way too good at it for his own good. he was able to stay cool and calm on the outside because his bad habits were hardly affecting him anymore, i mean if you haven't noticed he's surprisingly aware when hes drunk.

and of couse at jim and kims is where he ends up meeting mary, josephs wife. i can't say he'd be angry at her for not letting joseph go because like i said before, he's smart he probably figured out josephs entire scheme immediately after getting dumped. so instead he most likely apologized to her, admitted everything to her when joseph didn't. and then they became drinking buddies, most likely through talking shit about joseph, and then expanding it to just being flat out friends. she helped him find someone to care about again, but he wasn't going to delv into anything romantic yet. one night stands, sure, but that would most likely be to test whos going to use him for his body and who isnt.

and yes, robert would absolutely test for that kind of thing. he doesn't want another joseph situation on his hand, he doesn't want to get attached and then get dumped to the curb by someone he truly cares about. he doesn't want to be used exclusively for sex because to him a real relationship should be deeper than that. you and your partner should be best friends, should be able to share everything with each other, be comfortable in complete silence when you're together. he's a man who cares about being with a best friend over someone who gives him a good fuck which is something i can really relate with as someone who gets uncomfortable with hyper-romantic situations.

this is why robert doesn't respond to you again if you have sex with him on the first night. he feels like you were just there for the sex and nothing else. it definitely had something to do with joseph sleeping with him and then tossing him away. is it right of him to assume something to dramatic? hell no, he should give main character daddy a chance but because he's been hurt in the past he has trouble opening up and having just casual sex with somebody. i don't want to say its a form of PTSD but it can definitely relate to something along those lines.

robert sees himself as a direct man, he thinks people can read his mind, tell when he's kidding and tell when he's looking for something deeper. but he doesn't seem to realize if he doesn't at least hint at what he wants, he'll never find the happiness he feels that everyone can see he wants. he's not at fault for that, but it's certainly not the way he should be going about it. i can give him cookie points for effort but this type of lack of communication can be damaging for not only himself but for anyone whos genuinely interested in being in a relationship with him.

at the very least, hes a man who's willing to pull himself together for you and for his daughter which is actually an incredible feat for what he's been through. having his wife die, his daughter leave, being the 'other person' in a cheating relationship of a youth minister, and drinking to numb whatever's biting at him at the time.

robert small is a paranoid, broken man who feels like he's being stalked by the dover ghost, which is basically what joseph embodies. he feels like joseph is watching him squirm over what he did to him, he's angry at joseph because he can't undo his mistake of sleeping with a married man, he's angry at joseph for leading him on right after he lost so much. even worse, he's angry at you for even trusting joseph and not even trying to heed what he has to say. he's angry at you for not seeing what he can see. he's angriest at himself for not being able to properly elaborate on why he doesn't trust or even like joseph. he puts on a happy face for the rest of the neighborhood when theyre all around joseph and lies to himself just to pretend like it never happened.

not to mention if you consider the cult ending canon, joseph probably gave robert the stick and poke cult tattoo on his hand and pulled him into the cult. of course, like i said, robert isnt stupid and he probably bailed.

its a good thing that he wants to try being honest with himself and fix his issues. he's working on himself, for you and for his daughter. we were led to believe that robert was just going to be an edgy bad dad when in reality, he's been hurt severely by someone he thought he could trust.

robert, while he has communication issues, is trying to work on himself and wants to do his best to be honest and open with main daddy and thats what matters in the long run. he wants to be a good man so he's going to be it.

[annnahatcher-blog]

Oh gosh............

candyumbrella

reblogged your post and added: “STOP. REDUCING. DONNA. TO. NOTHING. TO. MAKE. YOUR. SHIP. LOOK....”

candyumbrella

My biggest problem with your post is that you’re...                                            

Okay... I think regarding the tweets and screen caps I have said my piece in the previous answer that I wrote just to say I will reply when I have time but what did actually intrigue me is that you dedicated half of this post to tell me just how valuable and whatever-you-called-it Scarvey is? I think we can go back and forth pushing our opinions down each other’s throats and down-grading what the other likes, since that’s how it’s done these days in fandoms apparently, but honestly, since we will clearly never see the show in the same way, I would just like to go back to the point of the post I wrote- Darvey and Donna and clear up some things some of the people I actually do know in the fandom & have talked to about their views said and you interpreted in some weird way that actually has very little to do with what the parts of the fandom I know and have engaged with were / are going through in regards to either Scarvey since you talked about it so much or other stuff…

1) “You mean like how Darvey shippers insisted so hard that Harvey hadn’t slept with Esther at the end of 5x04 (even though anyone with eyes could’ve seen he did) that Aaron Korsh had to confirm on Twitter that they did sleep together?” I can actually 100% say I wasn’t in any way a part of this mess / dilemma because I wasn’t tweeting about those episodes, however, I do actually know for a fact that there were more people from tweets to reviews than just Darvey fans who were confused on whether Harvey actually did sleep with Esther. For example…

So of course, if the writing clearly didn’t suffice for everyone in making a point that Harvey and Esther  slept together, people who love Darvey I guess held on to that, while they were more people – “with eyes” – who didn’t understand if that happened or not.

2) I really don’t see the point of trying to show me that “ignoring every actual storyline” and not showing “real arguments”? Has anything to do with people making Rachel a part of Darvey head canons. I understand your example, however, what fandom doesn’t make head canons that involve other characters regarding their ships? Not to mention that the writers of the show have over and over again made Darvey a part of a discussion with / between other characters where Rachel & Scottie are most definitely a part of that. + “when that very scene between them showcased their POVs as women, as girlfriends, and as lawyers, and added far more interesting layers to their characterization than whatever Darvey-propping YOUR fandom wanted” like, once again, as far as I know- people were making head canons about what that scene could be BEFORE IT HAPPENED. It wasn’t about me or any of the people I do talk to making that scene into something darvey related after that episode or being disapproving of it in regards to Rachel & Scottie interaction. It was prior to the episode- imagination, head canons, etc. ????

3) “Marvey is THE central relationship of the show” Yep, I think it’s safe to say that this is old news. When I said “Marvey never existed” I was, clearly and straight forward, relating to the ‘Marvey’romantic ship. No matter how central Harvey & Mike’s relationship is in the show, ‘Marvey’ in a romantic way never existed.

4) “You don’t even believe that yourselves, in your heart of hearts. If you did, then 5x13 wouldn’t have bothered Darvey shippers at all, let alone bothered them as much as it did”

OHH GOD, first of all:

From the day of the episode, from my twitter…  since I don’t have the time in my life to literally dig up every single thing ever said by every shipper ever like you did, this is what came up from me, some of the stuff I posted that day and what I also want to say is: imagine a fandom that had prior to 513  very solid episodes, with the network & writers & producer tweeting about their ship as well. And then they bring back an old love interest and stir things up again. I am not saying they can’t do that, after initial anger and a wave of hate for the writing, for me there was only understanding that it’s a part of the way show does things- they want to keep everyone watching. Ok, I get that. HOWEVER, you can’t blame fans for being freaking disappointed and sad that after so many seasons and their ship getting closer and closer they pull that stuff. It’s like you are making a fandom that is upset because a half of their ship had an ambiguous (u can argue- open) scene with someone other than the other half of their ship into something that it’s not. “Again, if it really played as closure then why did it hurt you so damn much to watch it?” OF COURSE people were upset?? Of course everyone who ships Darvey would have preferred that episode to be about Darvey. Isn’t that common sense? But that doesn’t mean all darvey fans went into a spiral of anger and panic because they deep down thought / knew Scarvey is endgame? O.o

“(…) Mike’s secret might have been the breaking point there were other things that contributed to that break-up – including the fact that she (scottie)’s not the easiest person to be in a relationship with. This particular scene gets a bit of course correction at the end of the episode when Harvey admits to Scottie his trust issues were a factor, too, but that still doesn’t make her accept even a fraction of the blame. Let’s knock her off that pedestal.” (link: http://hiddenremote.com/2016/02/11/suits-review-gods-green-earth/) First hit on reviews for 5x13 from Google I just found, not some random Darvey fan, a person that is paid to write and analyses.

Not to mention…

3x11, Jessica about Scarvey: “But what happens when you two break up?”

3x15, Donna, as said by Korsh- Harvey’s emotional compass and voice of reason who also tried to make it work for him and Scottie because she wanted him to be happy: “Someone who is pissed at you, Harvey. Someone who keeps finding a reason to be pissed at you. And it’s not the 3rd time, it’s not the 5th time and it’s not the last time.”

5x01, Jessica talking about Donna leaving Harvey: “Shit Harvey, Scottie leaving didn’t throw you off your game as much”

5) “If Harvey ever said or did a tenth of what he said or did for Scottie to Donna, y'all would be in seventh heaven of shipper delight and you know it.”

Yeah like all those times he USED THE FEELINGS SHE HAD FOR HIM TO GET SOMETHING? Like wanting her to drop a case, or telling her a story about how he first saw her knowing it will work to get her to do something for him? All those times he put other people before her? 3x16, Scottie: “Not now Donna (…) I guess it’s not now Scottie.” How in the same episode she had to ask other people to tell her stuff to the extent that Jessica pointed out to her that she jumped into this relationship that is clearly not working out? The fact that he forgot she went away for 14 days and Donna had to remind him? The fact that his gift for her consisted of a bottle of scotch and then Donna bought glasses to make it into a decent gif, as voiced ON THE SHOW?

JESSICA HAS SAID SO MANY THINGS about Donna and Darvey relationship (not to mention Rachel, Mike, Big Bertha, Gretchen, Agard, Louis, ETC ETC) Harvey has literally behaved better towards Donna in the show than he ever did towards Scottie. He continues to open up to her, he went to see her play, brought her flowers, took her to breakfast and shopping because she was sad, told his freaking mother about her, LITERALLY TOLD DONNA “Anyone else ever loses faith in me, it doesn’t matter. But with you, it’s different.” All of the things he was never able to do in any of his relationships, he has done for her without a second thought.This isnt me just saying stuff to make another ship look bad, this is WHAT HAPPENED ON THE SHOW.

Like HONESTLY, you are free to prefer Scarvey over Darvey. BUT PLEASE, do not tell me I would love to have Scarvey-like scenes for Darvey because I wouldn’t be shipping them if that was the case. Season 1 where Scottie made Harvey a cheater, while knowing that’s the one thing he hates more than anything in life prevented me from ever feeling anything for that relationship. But everything that happened in s2, s3 and on for them didn’t make any difference either.

6) … As Korsh said before 4B, “Scottie always will be in the picture in some sense.” The only classic trope missing from the list is “She’s the love of my life” and if they can get Abigail back in a future season it wouldn’t surprise me if that line came up in some form, especially since it was already implied when Harvey reacted to his sessions with Dr. Agard telling him he had to deal with his issues if he wanted to have a real relationship by seeking out Scottie to basically ask her if she would wait for him.

Wow now, I have to stop at this because you said WE are twisting things? Yes, Agard was talking about his relationships in general but that literally happened right after Harvey had a dream about Donna in connection to his mother issues. THEN Agard said that as long as he doesn’t fix these issues regarding his mom he will never be able to have a relationship. And let’s see what happened regards to his mom later on. At the end of 6x11 Donna told him he needs to go see her because he won’t be able to “fill that void” otherwise. Then in 6x12 she gave him a peep talk to assure him (along with all flashbacks). Then he went to see his mom and told her he is ready to forgive her. She asked “Why now?” and He said “Someone very special to me convinced me that I needed to.” And she replied “Whoever it is, I am glad she did.”  After they finally talked things through she gave him that picture to take back home to replace the painting and he asked Donna to be there to put it up with him. You really think after all this SCOTTIE will be the one Harvey will show up for after dealing with his issues and there being NO CONNECTION TO ANY OTHER LOVE INTEREST IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM in that episode?

KORSH LITERALLY SAID BEFORE 6x12: “He has got some messed up issues with his mom. Until he gets through it, he’s never going to be able to be the man for Donna. That is sort of the conversation and possibly the right assessment of what’s going on.” AND AT THE END HE ALSO ADDED THAT even if Harvey may never fix his stuff with his mom, doesn’t become that man “But nonetheless he is inching closer to her anyway.”

No need to say more. 

7) Regards to the notes you made for Darvey fans behavior after 6x16 I don’t think we understand each other once again… the point of my post (also why I am replying to all the things I replied because I think you are mixing up stuff) was to say that I hate when people are making FAKE ASSUMPTIONS, compared to the show, about Donna to lift their ship up. And I didn’t say no one can ever complain about anything THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED for god’s sake?

AGAIN, I KNOW FOR A FACT that people I TALK TO, and I BASED MY DARVEY PARTS OF THE  POST ON, AS I HAVE EXPLAINED SO MANY TIMES, WERENT ANNOYED BY THE DARVEY SCENE. I literally talked in a group chat after the episode and as everyone there processed what has happened we came to a conclusion that

a) It didn’t feel like “enough” compared with how intense the promotion of the show in regards to darvey was + how 6.10-6.13 were in general but it will when it develops 

However,

b) That we were really excited because it left the door for them open and finally we will see the status quo of their relationship change.

If people weren’t ok with how 616 played out I understand them. The atmosphere of the fandom was incredibly positive and hopeful, largely to do so with how the show was promoted (as well as for the machel wedding, that also didn’t happen) but I truly don’t think out of that it’s fair to make assumptions that every person that complained or didn’t think it was enough was just doing so out of personal belief that darvey fans shall have a part in decision making. But whatever, sooo wasn’t the point to my post.

8) “But sure, Darvey shippers are the ones who truly see Donna, while everyone else is trying to put her down just because she (supposedly) gets in the way of their ship. It’s not like most Darvey shippers saw zero value in Donna’s storyline in 6x16, right? It’s not like they’re citing 6x11 and 6x12 as the best episodes of the season and saying everything else sucked, when Donna solely played a supporting role to Harvey in those eps and got her best material as a character in 6x15-6x16. It’s not like they didn’t all praise 5x12 as a great episode and then turn around the very next week and say that 5x12 hadn’t done anything for Donna as a character–how on earth could 5x13 retroactively harm what had been a great ep for Donna only 7 days before? OH, I WONDER HOW. Most of your fandom only gives a damn about Donna or anything relating to Donna if they believe the show is eventually leading to Darvey.”

NOW THIS……… Darvey fans were the ones who made (me and my friend Lamia as the ones who started it) a freaking hashtag during 6a about Donna deserving better that got so much attention FROM DARVEY FANS AND PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT DONNA IN GENERAL that Sarah thanked one of the tweets (which was explaining that it’s about DONNA having a BETTER STORYLINE ABOUT HER, FOCUSING ON HER AS A PERSON). Not only that, Korsh also said he saw the responses and that it felt good to see, that even though he had the idea for Donna’s storyline before that happened, people wanting something he had in the works so much.

Not to mention the amount of times I have seen tweets from people who ship Darvey (myself included) saying that at the end of the day they just want Donna to be happy and were able to recognize moments where her happiness was more important to them than Darvey as a ship.

9)  And… you made 4 paragraph point about Harvey and his relationship with Scottie / Mike VS Donna. Again, I don’t think it had anything to do with anything I tried to convey, as not much of what you said did, however, it did amuse me enough to reply because I am just really amazed at the way you perceive things because->  “Darvey shippers worry about whether Scottie will show up and Harvey will still be in love with her. Scarvey shippers are fine with Donna being in love with Harvey, because it makes no difference to our ship;” …………wtf……………are you kidding me? For the first part- people don’t want Scottie to come back because WE ARE TIRED OF BEING PLAYED AND THE SHOW PUTTING OTHER LOVE INTEREST IN TO SLOW DOWN THE PROGRESS (as Korsh said in the Suits_usa blog that he knows once he puts Darvey together it basically closes the doors for other love interests) etc. I wonder what kind of world you live in where shippers of something, want half of some other ship to come back to the show? LITERALLY 90% OF THE DARVEY FANS I HAVE SPOKEN TO ARE SURE DARVEY IS ENDGAME. We are just waiting. TO QUOTE KORSH AFTER THE DREAM SCENE IN 6.11 “I find it hard to believe that in the rest of the seasons of the show we won’t have more than just that but we will see when we get there.”

I don’t think it’s strange or pro-scarvey-endgame of Darvey fans to not want to have to watch Harvey with another person six seasons in while we know Darvey is bound to happen.

And for the 2nd part- I know there are only a few Scarvey shippers I have stumbled upon on Twitter, but, the fact that you said that Donna being in love with Harvey doesn’t make any difference to your ship is kinda funny since SCOTTIE ASKED DONNA “Are you in love with him, Donna?” before making her choice with Harvey. Even if it didn’t matter to your fandom (which again, I don’t know much about other than what I have already said in my previous post), is sure as hell seemed to have mattered to a character on the show, a half of your ship. And that to me is a lot more important than anything else.

10)  “I don’t need to erase or forget or disqualify a single canon scene to ship what I ship, because comparing Darvey and Scarvey doesn’t hurt my ship, so I don’t need to erase Darvey to ship my ship, either.” You literally spent 4 paragraphs telling me why Harvey cares more about Scottie or Mike in the “canon” sense than Donna and miss-interpreted THE WHOLE POINT OF DARVEY, to justify your point. IF YOU HAVE READ ANY INTERVIEW AFTER s4 or WATCHED WHAT THE ACTORS SAID IN S5 BONUS, you would see that you quite literally just erased and disqualified more than just a single canon scene to ship your ship. 

Which brings me to my last point because quite honestly I am so done with reading what you said and trying to explain myself once again (and for the last time, FOR SURE.) when I could be doing so many more productive things- nothing made me laugh more (and I did laugh.) than your last paragraph. Maybe Harvey is your favorite character, maybe he isn’t, and quite frankly, I don’t even care, but it’s more than clear that the only reason you mentioned that at the end is to try to add weight to everything you wrote prior. Oh so because he is your favorite character your intentions are completely pure and should be taken into consideration more than other opinions? I could say the same, Harvey and Donna are my favorite characters on the show. But I don’t think it’s of need to point that out because you don’t have to think of Harvey as your favorite character to understand the basic storylines of the show and where they are going. 

I really don’t see the necessity of most stuff in regards to what my post was about. For whatever reason you had enough time to quote and talk about so much stuff, I don’t know. I didn’t even have enough time to read every post you provided with your claims. I just wanted to reply to what seemed to point on my post or simply found so amusing against everything I believe and am certain off that I just look couldn’t pass it.

I think it’s more than clear we will NEVER EVER E V E R agree on anything about this show and that’s ok. I just wanted to try to make my points like you tried to make yours.

The end.

[rolandfontana]

Coping With Unsolved Murders: ‘My Son Speaks from the Grave’

On a Friday night in late June, Glenn Lamont Travers Jr., 21, was in a car leaving an apartment complex in midtown Newport News, Va., when someone opened fire.

Travers, the car’s front-seat passenger, was struck with a bullet that tore into his neck artery. He died at the hospital three hours later.

It was the second slaying in the neighborhood in two days. The day before, Eimaja Jada Harri, 24, was found just inside her front doorway, shot to death.

The killings mark two of the 18 slayings in Newport News, a harbor city of 183,000 in a region that has long been home to the U.S.Navy.

Hampton, Va., police officers investigate the scene of a homicide in 2018. Photo by Jonathon Gruenke/Daily Press

Of the 43 homicides in Newport News and nearby Hampton in 2018, 28 of them — or 65 percent (including the Travers and Harri killings— so far remain unsolved.

That frustrates Travers’ mother, Pamela Travers, who claims her son named the man he believed set him up for the killing in a recording taped on a police officer’s body camera before he died

“My son is speaking from the grave,” she said. “What more do they need?

Newport News Police Chief Steve Drew said he can’t talk in detail about open cases, but he’s met twice with Pamela Travers. He said the lead detective went over the case with her to tell her how things stand, and what’s still needed to close it.

“I get it — she’s hurting,” Drew said. “In her mind, she didn’t feel like we were doing enough. We had a good conversation. I would be frustrated, too.”

But it’s a killing, he said, that the chief is determined to solve.

“I’m not stopping until they’re all cleared,” Drew said.

A Daily Press tally found that 137 people were killed by homicide in the region in 2018. That exactly matched 2017’s total, though it was 16 percent lower than the 163 killings recorded in 2016.

Tragic Roll Call

 The homicide victims died in domestic arguments, robberies, retaliations, drug deals gone bad, and all manner of random arguments between strangers, acquaintances and friends. They were shot in their homes or on the street from passing vehicles. They were killed in child abuse and in murder-suicides.

Five of the 50 people killed in the Peninsula area were under 18 — two-month-old and one-year-old boys killed in what police say were child abuse, a 12-year-old boy killed by his mother in a murder-suicide, and two 17-year-olds shot outside.

It’s a roll call of tragedy.

The cases include Rodney Livingston, 37, who Newport News police say was stabbed to death by his then-15-year-old son after an argument that began over the boy’s failure to clean his bedroom.

A 20-year-old pregnant woman, Tiara Jefferson, was killed — and her unborn child also lost — when someone opened fire on her car in May. Jefferson’s two-year-old daughter has now lost both her parents to gunfire, with the child’s father killed in 2016, also in a car that came under fire.

Table courtesy of Daily Press

In Hampton, 32-year-old Joshua David Williams was slain in January 2018 for being $3 short on a drug debt, prosecutors say.

Of the 50 slayings in the Peninsula area in 2018, 30 of the dead — or 60 percent — were black males, while 11 were white males, six were black females and three were white females. The overwhelming number of accused killers were of the same race as their victims.

Guns were the weapon of choice.

Of the 50 area killings, 43 of them — or 86 percent — were a result of gunfire. Another four people died in stabbings, one person was strangled to death, and two children were killed in suspected child abuse.

A National Problem

 Unsolved homicides are a national problem. An FBI report last fall found nearly 40 percent of the murders around the U.S. in 2017 were still “open cases”—a little over 6,000.

See also: Cities Under Pressure to Improve Homicide Clearance Rates 

The record in the Newport News area, however, tracks far higher. Some 71 percent of the killings—numbering 17—remain unsolved.

Of Hampton’s 18 homicides, eight of them — just 44 percent — are deemed cleared

Hampton Police Chief Terry Sult cautioned against reading too much into the numbers, saying several factors can drive homicide arrest rates up or down.

“When you talk about gang involvement, drug involvement, those tended to be down a little bit, while domestics were up a little bit,” he said of 2018, saying domestics are often easier to clear.

“But looking at statistics year to year are merely a barometer. You can’t really make definitive determinations.”

Drew, the Newport News chief, said there’s a lot of work to do — but he vows that his investigators are up to the task.

“Twenty-four homicides is 24 too many,” Drew said. “And make no mistake. Every one of these numbers that we talk about are people. It’s an individual. It’s not about numbers and statistics.

“Am I satisfied that there are only seven cleared? Absolutely not. I don’t think anybody should be happy with seven.”

Drew noted that 16 of the 24 killings investigated by his department were in the first half of 2018, meaning that “we’re moving in the right direction.”

Last fall, Drew moved three more detectives to the homicide unit, bringing the team to 10 investigators. He also moved a time-consuming task — investigating nonfatal shootings — to other detectives. In 2018, for example, there were 90 total shootings in the city, with most being nonfatal.

“I needed to lighten that load off my homicide detectives so they focus on the homicides — the witnesses, the forensics evidence, working with the commonwealth’s attorney and all that,” he said.

Drew also pointed out that the Newport News police in 2018 cleared a significant number of homicides — eight of them — that happened in prior years.

Arrests from prior years, Drew said, indicate that unsolved slayings aren’t ever put into the dustbin, and that every case is still looked at. Two of the new homicide detectives, he added, will focus exclusively on cold cases.

“We’re not stopping,” he said.

Where Are the Witnesses?

 But aside from staffing issues, a number of other factors drive the low clearance rate.

A recurring challenge for detectives is getting witnesses to the crime to provide information to police. Investigators say they often know who committed a slaying — or have a very good idea — but that the “no snitch” culture sometimes stymies the cooperation police need to make the arrest.

Drew said he routinely hears at community meetings about witness fears.

“It’s easy to say people don’t give us information and they know (what happened), but I balance that with, ‘We’re leaving, but those individuals still live in this neighborhood, and there’s still a concern there,’ ” he said.

“I understand that, and this department understands that … We have to decrease that fear.”

Since he took the department’s helm in June, Drew said he’s trying to encourage more trust, with police and community groups knocking on more doors after killings.

People don’t need to give their names or “hang outside with a banner,” he said. “But what I do want is for people to not feel afraid in the neighborhoods they live in. I want them to take that back.”

Sult, Hampton’s police chief, said another problem is that fears of retribution for witnesses — real or imagined — can spread quickly on social media.

All it takes, he said, is “one person that’s mad at you because you looked at him wrong” or “dating so and so,” resulting in lies being put out. That spreads quickly, he said, transforming into “so and so is a snitch about John Smith being killed on the sidewalk.”

“It doesn’t have to be true, that so and so is a snitch, but that can be life threatening on the street,” Sult said.

“So the issue is more than trusting the police. There’s a fear of reprisal through social media … All of a sudden it becomes a life threatening environment for that individual.”

The polarization in the country, he added, “helps underscore the distrust on the ground level and the boots level” regarding law enforcement. Families, churches and community groups, he said, are part of the solution.

“It’s about public trust,” Sult said. “The building of trust in the community starts with the police department, but it doesn’t stop there.”

Drew, for his part, said he’s encouraging citizens to give tips. He’s also telling his officers that “we’ve got to be more proactive” in jumping on leads and knocking on doors.

“If a tip comes in about something unusual that a resident ‘found in the bushes,’ and the police response isn’t immediate, he said, “People think, ‘Why should I call?’”

“Maybe there’s nothing to it at all,” Drew said. “But I want to make sure we’re investigating stuff right away.”

Additional reading: Fixing America’s Cold Case Crisis (James Adcock)

FBI Data Crime in the United States, 2017

This is a condensed and slightly edited version of a story that appeared in the Daily Press in Newport News, Va., reprinted with permission. Read the full story here.

Coping With Unsolved Murders: ‘My Son Speaks from the Grave’ syndicated from https://immigrationattorneyto.wordpress.com/