#im probably not going to be active in any of them I just like to sit around until someone mentions me lmaoooo

[ghouldtime]

i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

[rockeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy]

tbh i feel like the best case scenario for benrey would never include gordon stepping in as some kind of therapist or guide for him. neither of these people are good at communicating, ESPECIALLY not with each other, and realistically if that situation ever occurred they would end up exploding each other with their minds within the first week

[irrealisms]

every time I see a “it’s actually totally fine and nbd to have sex you don’t enjoy and are uncomfortable with because your partner wants it and you want them to be happy, as long as you’re giving uncoerced consent!” post I lose a month off my lifespan

[downsteepy]

i am very grateful that im not someone that has to deal with daily seizures but it is evil when it takes like a week and a half's worth of business days to recover from a seizure

[intotheelliwoods]

I have the urge to join some random discord servers to lurk around in who wants me in their server

[sidesteppostinghours]

having a normal time this fine morning <- is making up an au for an au

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

i keep starting posts abt death note and then stopping to start a new post about some other death note opinion like fuck i have so much to say. i need to relax genuinely. jts just a vaguely misogynist yaoi anime like i need to remind myself that in a year or even probably a few months something else will feel like its encompassing my entire life an dn literally will not matter to me. i know this to be true because this is how i do everything all the time always but its so unbelievable like. autistic obsession rly does make me a little bit delusional every single time. im always like "well THIS art/story/subject is DIFFERENT and clearly of unique importance and significance compared to that last thing i was obsessed with (an every thing ive been obsessed w ever)" like no matter how much i understand that logically to not be the case i genuinely cant convince myself to actually believe it. like ik this time last year i was just as much if not more obsessed with moomin valley but it just. doesnt feel true like it feels unique and special every time its so strange. death note is a story its pretty good its silly its fun its camp its suspenseful like i can acknowledge these things to be true in a normal way but it is also the most important thing on earth to me right now and i need everyone else to know all of the time. its enormous in my mind its radius expands to so many other Important Things to the extent that whether its actually objectively good or significant i could not tell you right now because it is eclipsing my entire mind. i can talk abt its objective value and significance all day but it does not matter bcz i will not stop being able to think about it regardless. fuck man. being autistic is crazy. my most consistent hobby is being in the throws of obsession. also the way im phrasing this sounds like its distressing me but i love it i love being in the throws of obsession i love it every single time it happens i just love it so intensely that the idea of it having less significance to me or to others than it has right now seems incredibly strange. what do other ppl even get out of watching tv shows and reading books if not this. i need to relax i need some coffee

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt Sif Odile duo looping au again and I wanna be able to plot everything out more coherently but act 5 eternally looms overhead and boy I do not wanna look up

[alsojnpie]

sigh. so it's come to this has it. my life has arrived at the stage in which i am an absolute Tolkien nerd. alright then

[unproduciblesmackdown]

(genderly) chill as hell if i was only ever glimpsed / detected like this

[perilegs]

i was watching a reality tv show that had someone from my hometown in it and oh my god how can hearing your own dialect sound so much like home 😭😭 i live like an hour away from my hometown so the dialect there and where i live now dont really differ that much but it makes all the difference to me especially since i know the longer i live in here the less i start sounding like im from home

[gaytoddhoward]

i kind of need to be like skinned or put into a meat grinder or something . lol .

[autisticlee]

no one on the bumble friends app is giving me what I need/am looking for. so it's making me want to give up and delete the app. it exhausts me to do small talk with one person a week even if it only lasts for less than a day before they stop responding. I don't know what to do after that or when i'm allowed to move past it??? I know small talk is important to people so i'm trying to please them with a "proper" first impression but i'm still failing. no one ever told me what to do after that. I don't feel connected to them at all! and they obviously don't feel connected to me at all with the way they don't seem to be trying.

none of these people know how to lead. they don't do what I need them to do. maybe they're in the same predicament as me? they barely respond and don't initiate things. I need people that will lead and guide me through things since I don't know what to do! the type of people that know what they're doing and get you hyped because you just need to follow along and know everything will work out and be fine because they got this! the problem is, these types of people always already have a ton of friends and make them easily. they aren't the ones on these friend making apps. they don't need them! it's only us awkward, lonely weirdos who don't know how to interact with each other.

it's supposed to be an app to try to meet up with people irl. can any of these people plan a meetup for me?! why do I have to do all the work when i'm not capable of doing it in the first place??? I made two groups and a few people joined but I have no clue how to plan a meetup. that's much responsibility and don't have the spoons for that. someone needs to help me organize everything, but no one volunteered when I asked. i'm so lost and confused and exhausted and don't think i'll ever make friends 😭😭😭😭

[piplupod]

mistakes were made. should not have gone to library today. i will be leaving the house all five days of the week now (plus we went to a waterside on sunday for several hours) and uhm... i feel like i need to go hibernate for several weeks to feel even remotely okay again fhdkdl i am so tired i can barely think enough to string words together in any comprehendable way 🧍<- upset

[pepprs]

hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐