#maybe not almost maybe it just is painful. like my body cant contain it. but i love it its my reason for living like genuinely djgfsdjfg

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

i keep starting posts abt death note and then stopping to start a new post about some other death note opinion like fuck i have so much to say. i need to relax genuinely. jts just a vaguely misogynist yaoi anime like i need to remind myself that in a year or even probably a few months something else will feel like its encompassing my entire life an dn literally will not matter to me. i know this to be true because this is how i do everything all the time always but its so unbelievable like. autistic obsession rly does make me a little bit delusional every single time. im always like "well THIS art/story/subject is DIFFERENT and clearly of unique importance and significance compared to that last thing i was obsessed with (an every thing ive been obsessed w ever)" like no matter how much i understand that logically to not be the case i genuinely cant convince myself to actually believe it. like ik this time last year i was just as much if not more obsessed with moomin valley but it just. doesnt feel true like it feels unique and special every time its so strange. death note is a story its pretty good its silly its fun its camp its suspenseful like i can acknowledge these things to be true in a normal way but it is also the most important thing on earth to me right now and i need everyone else to know all of the time. its enormous in my mind its radius expands to so many other Important Things to the extent that whether its actually objectively good or significant i could not tell you right now because it is eclipsing my entire mind. i can talk abt its objective value and significance all day but it does not matter bcz i will not stop being able to think about it regardless. fuck man. being autistic is crazy. my most consistent hobby is being in the throws of obsession. also the way im phrasing this sounds like its distressing me but i love it i love being in the throws of obsession i love it every single time it happens i just love it so intensely that the idea of it having less significance to me or to others than it has right now seems incredibly strange. what do other ppl even get out of watching tv shows and reading books if not this. i need to relax i need some coffee

[mystic-helena]

hello! can i request a kuroo x reader where kuroo and the reader are childhood friends but he doesn’t know how to tell her he loves i love your blog by the ways its really cute ok have a great day bb hope you’re doing well ♡︎

Childhood crush ft Kuroo!

a/n: I FORGOT TO POST THIS ITS BEEN SO LONG I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE HOW SORRY I AM OH MY GOD IT ISNT EVEN GOOD

Kuroo had always been there for you and you’ve been always there for him.

Since the beginning of times—okay, maybe not the beginning of times, but the beginning of your life—Kuroo has been there, it could be laughting at you when you fall after helping you get up or simply existing beside you on a sleepover at a half past eleven when you both should be sleeping—because for twelve-year-old kids that is pretty late according to his parents—but are instead looking at the bedroom ceiling and forming constellations with the glow-in-the-dark stars he has over his bed.

Right now, as strange as it may be for you, Kuroo isn’t glued to your side...

...because he’s talking to his reflection in your bathroom.

For the past twenty minutes.

His hands are on both sides of the sink, upper body leaning towards the reflective surface, brown eyes digging holes into it, as if starting too hard would magically put his ideas in order.

“Tetsuro, we both know how the childhood best friend never gets the love interest—he said while pointing at the mirror, eyes fixed in his own face—, but, we also have advantage because our fate isn’t written as if we were mere characters in a book. Wait, maybe that’s even worse”

“Tetsu, you’ve been there for forever, come out already” you practically yell, cheek pressed against the coffee table in your living room “you know I promised I won’t laugh-”

Oh, right. He almost forgot about it. The reason why he was at the bathroom.

“-if you finally admitted you are shit putting make up on and finally let me help you.”

Many ‘make up stuff’ as he named it, was untouched in front of him. All of it belongs to your cousin, who also implanted the idea of downloading tiktok in your head. Which is also the reason why he was supposed to make himself look like one of those people who had glitter almost all over their faces, imitating the Euphoria series look, thing he agreed to do just because you asked him with the only reason of him being ‘pretty’ and having perfect skin. And yes, his heart skipped a beat when you called him pretty.

“I’m done y/n, just give me five more minutes” he says as he rapidly tries to find the ‘black thingy’ they used on videos to ‘paint lines on their eyes and look like a cat’. He thinks he should have paid more attention when you were telling him which thing does what. But five seconds prior that you called him pretty. Not handsome but pretty, how is he supposed to feel about that? He has mussels, has a deep voice, is tall and is very intelligent. Why would you call him pretty? I mean, being called pretty is better than not being called pretty. And now he’s back to staring into his reflection.

With much difficulty he steps out of his spiraling thoughts and finds the eyeliner—that’s what it’s called, he celebrates—and tries to paint a straight line on top of his eye. It’s comes out pretty decent, he’s glad his hands are steady. He goes for the other eye. This one is a little bit wonky but probably you won’t notice, he thinks as he puts down the eyeliner and looks for the glitter. He’s gonna regret this later, glitter gets everywhere when he opens the little container. He coughs and closes the glitter container.

“Are you ok over there? You sure you don’t need help?” you sound concerned and he cringes when he looks at the mirror and sees the glitter got into his mouth. How did he do that? Shit, that will be a pain to take off. Well, another problem for future him, he shruggs and thinks a way to stick the glitter to his face and make it look good. The lipgloss is looking at him and he’s looking back.

Kuroo opens wide the door—he was in there for more than 5 minutes—and looks at you. You were about to fall asleep on the couch but bolt right up at the sound of the bathroom door slamming against te wall.

“Took you long enough” you wipe your eyes and stare at his face for a couple of seconds. He stares back and hopes he’s not turning red, why are you staring at him? Did he fuck up that badly? Are you amazed by his make up techniques? Maybe he should say something. “Take a photo, it will last longer” he winks at you and smiles when he sees your eyes widen for a second.

What were you thinking in that moment? You looked shy for a moment before smiling wide and getting up. You walk towards him and grab him by the wrist and drag him to the couch. Kuroo sat and watched as you did the same next to him, and he knows he should be thinking about what to do on the tiktok you were about to do but instead he was getting distracted by how close you are. Maybe one day he would tell you how he feels but for now being your best friend was more than enough.

[msmarvelwrites]

For Old Times' Sake

Summary: “Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue,”

Pairing: TFATWS Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Explicit sexual content, Vaginal penetration, fingering, Choking, Bucky with the filthy words, mutual pining.

Word Count: 2.8K

Authors Note: WOW! It has literally been a hot minute hasn't it? I cant say that I’m not a little excited about this 3rd lock-down in Ontario because it means I can actually find time to write. I’m sorry it’s been so long, babes. Anyways, enjoy! (I’m actually the worst and it’s been so long since I’ve done this!) The Biggest Thank You to @sweeterthanthis for literally cheering me on the entire time. This was such garbage before you came along 😂 I had so much fun with this one babe 💕 thank you for all you do ✨

The wind whipped against your face, bruising your skin with it’s callousness. Though the unwelcomed lash was nothing compared to what was to come. Or who, for that matter. 

It had been longer than you cared to admit. The dodged calls hanging at the bottom of the icon on your phone serving as a cruel reminder of how cold you had been. Of course, it was never in your job description to take care of Bucky after Steve left— but there was an implication that made you run for the hills. 

You couldn't do anything for him - give him anything. The last five years had consisted of running and trying to start over. 

Besides, after the Accords, in the government's eyes you were just as fucked as Hydra. An ally turned fugitive the moment you’d chosen your side in that airport. You’d fight with yourself most nights that you decided with your head, but your first evening with a man who had bruised your lips with promises of what would come may have had more pull than anything else. 

The same man that had called you every week for the past six months… The same man you had spent countless nights with, years of your life you would never be able to scrub away, no matter how hard you tried. 

You had watched from afar as half of the world returned, their loved ones welcoming them home with teary eyes and broken hearts. You watched as he came home. His eyes, always scanning the crowds waiting for you. Waiting to see your face. 

It made all of this so, so much worse. This was definitely not the homecoming you could have hoped for. 

“We’re nearing the drop.” Your comm’s rang with a woman's voice who had helped smuggle you onto the craft. You weren’t exactly welcome in europe at the moment- or anywhere for that matter. The government did not take lightly to your’s and Sharon’s betrayal. You’d think that after everything the world had seen they would be a little more forgiving, but you couldn't exactly blame them for their trust issues either. 

You could, however, blame yourself. 

As soon as your feet hit the ground you were off. The distress call had come from Sam earlier that evening and now with the sun setting you could only hope you weren't too late. You tried to push the man who had haunted your thoughts for the past few years out of your head, desperate to focus on the task at hand. 

Bullets exploded through the air, a warning as you were approaching the large shipping container unit. Your comms went static as they began to connect with Sam’s, his voice ringing through your ears as—

“Sam, a little help here!” 

His voice stopped you dead in your tracks. 

“I’m on my way - called in some back up.” Sam grunted as the sound of strangled yelps echoed around you. 

“Back up? Who do we know that-” Bucky’s words were cut short as he let out a growl, the sound of his vibranium arm whirling in the background. 

You rushed in without a second thought, the sound of his pain too raw as it ripped through your chest. Before you could assess the danger, you charged forward, hurling yourself at a large man pointing his gun right at- 

With a loud thud, the man hit the ground. Your combat boot, heavy on his throat until he went still, and with it came silence. It was deafening despite the explosive gunfire around you. 

“Y/n?” 

Your name ripped through the air, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze. Back turned and body rigid, you were frozen in place. Years you had craved to hear your name spoken from his lips. Countless nights, forcing yourself to remember how it fell from his tongue, soft and get so personal. Like no one had spoken it before. 

“Y/n, what are you-”

Sam's voice cut the newly cropped brunettes words off,  “I got two coming in on your left, Buck. Oh- and welcome back, Y/L/N.” 

You smiled sheepishly at Bucky, pulling your gun from its holster and flicking the safety off as you closed your distance with him. Despite the aggravation apparent on his face, a broken smile seemed to be pulling at the corners of his lips. 

“Here we go again, huh?”  You chimed, your eyes locking with his just as all hell broke loose. 

The trip back to Sam and Bucky’s base was one filled with uncomfortable silence, and a tension that had your blood running cold. 

Once the adrenaline of the fight had worn off and you were left face to face with Bucky Barnes, the guilt began to creep in. 

“So…” Sam started from the backseat of the beat-up truck, the suddenness of his words startling both you and Bucky for a moment. “Long time no see.” 

The scoff that left Bucky’s lips wasn't as subtle as you imagined he meant it to be. You tried not to let it bother you; in fact, you had prepared for this. How he might react when you finally returned home. What you weren't prepared for, however, was how indescribably gutted you would feel to watch him - eyes trained to the road ahead - as he gritted his teeth at your proximity. 

To say that yours and Bucky’s relationship before the snap was easy would be incredibly delusional. It was messy and at it’s best dysfunctional. But for whatever reason, the two of you looked beyond that. He saw through you like no one ever had and before you knew it, the two of you were glued at the hip. It didn't make sense, but no questions were ever asked. 

You just fit. 

And of course there was the sex. Good god, you could feel your thighs clenching at the thought. 

The way’s Bucky knew how to take you apart, with an accuracy that only he had. How he had your toes curling and body vibrating from the flick of his tongue. How he would have you screaming the most filthy things for him, all while begging to never ever—

“Y/n?” 

Sam’s voice was like an ice bath. Your name yanking you back into the present and the question at hand. What was the question again? You couldn't think straight. Not when Bucky was staring at you the way he was, one brow cocked and that same familiar smirk plastered on his lips. If you didn't know any better, you’d think he could read your thoughts. 

“Sorry- I… I was…” You couldn't seem to bring yourself back to this realm, too lost in the Super Soldier’s stormy eyes to remember what exactly you were trying to say. 

“He asked you where you’ve been, Y/n.” Bucky spoke your name like it was a curse, laced with razor sharp ache and pain. His eyes told a different story though. The way he looked at you; the same way he always did. 

With a warmth that only he had for you. It made you shiver. 

“Running, mostly.” You started, your body physically breaking your gaze with Bucky. It was too much, watching him glare down at you. And maybe you deserved it. 

“And you never thought to, I don't know, call me?” Bucky’s words were spiteful, oozing with a disdain that was beginning to wear down your patience. 

“It wasn't like that, Buck-”

“You can’t call me that anymore.” He snapped, his eyes trained on the road. Your gaze snapped to him, brow arched as you all but scoffed at him. 

“Oh, I can't?” You chuckled, but the sound came out flat. He had every right to ask you where you've been. Hell, get angry if he wanted. But the way his words seeped with disgust made your blood boil. 

“Okay, okay guys. Let’s all take a breath and just—”

“Shut up, Sam.” You both snarled, causing Sam to roll his eyes as Bucky pulled into a long winding driveway with a small log cabin sat at the end of it. You reached for your seatbelt until your door swung open. 

“You two figure your shit out. Whatever this is,” Sam motioned to the space between you two, “ isn’t leaving this car. I’ll be inside. Feel free to come in when y'all have killed and made up, okay?” With that, Sam slammed the door leaving Bucky and you alone in your static tension.

Bucky worried on his lip, his eyes trained to his lap. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words seemed caught in your throat. 

“You didn't even call…” 

It was so quiet, you almost didn't hear it. But you did… 

Voice small and so filled with ache; it kicked you in the stomach, the guilt washing away any anger you had felt. 

“Bucky… I- I couldn't.” You forced out, tentative as you met his gaze, stomach dropping as your eyes locked with his. 

“I thought I lost you. I thought - I mean, fuck - you were all I cared about.” He sighed, clearing his throat as if it would help ease his discomfort. “I looked for you, ya know?” He chuckled, but there was no warmth behind it. Just a brokenness that made you squirm. 

“It’s not your fault—”

“Oh, I know it’s not.” Bucky quipped, his eyes flicking away from yours and turning back to face the cabin. “It was your own selfish decision.” 

You scoffed, head snapping back to meet his glare. “Selfish? Bucky, I had no other choice. Not everyone can be pardoned for their crimes. It’s not like I had Steve Rogers advocating for my freedom!” 

Bucky only rolled his eyes, hands gripping the steering wheel so tight, you swore he might rip it clean off the car.  “Don’t bring him into this. You don't think that I would have done everything to get to you? To clear your name?”

You laughed bitterly, blinking away the tears that welled at the corners of your eyes. 

“You gotta at least give me more credit than that, Doll.” The pet name rolled off this tongue easily, washing over you, and making you freeze. 

“Please don’t call me that…” You faltered, wiping away a stray tear that rolled down your cheek. 

It seemed the tension dissipated in that moment, silence heavy between you both as Bucky reached out, his flesh fingers finding a tear and brushing it away. You tried to speak, but with everything that had been said, and all that would never be, you decided words just weren’t enough. 

You didn't have time to object before his lips were on yours, your body moving at its own accord as he pulled you onto his lap, your thighs either side of him as his tongue swept across your bottom lip. You tried to moan, but his mouth swallowed the sound. He rendered you breathless, his taste intoxicating as you melted into his embrace, grinding into him and shivering when a familiar growl slipped from his lips; vibrating against your mouth. 

“Fuck, I missed you.” You moaned out, clutching his jacket as you licked down his neck. His skin was burning against your lips, the rumble of his breath heavy against your ear as he let out a dark chuckle, urging you on. 

“Well, if you had just called me—” 

Before he could finish the sentence, you reached for the recliner, snapping it forward as you toppled forwards onto Bucky’s chest. His words fell back into his throat, hands automatically finding your hips to steady you while you fumbled with his belt. 

“Doll—” He tried to start, but you swallowed the name with your kiss, heated and rooted in a desperate need to feel him again. You ached for him in a way you’d never felt before. 

Maybe what you had was unfixable. Maybe it was beyond repair, but with the way he was kissing you and hiking down your pants, it didn't matter. You were drunk on him, and by the way he bucked his hips, so was he. 

You shivered as his vibranium fingers looped into the waistband of your panties, pulling them down over your legs as you both awkwardly tried to move in the cramped seat. You wanted to laugh, but as his cold thumb swiped through your slick folds, all you could do was whine. 

“So wet for me…” He hummed, teeth sinking into your throat as he pulled a whimper from your lips. 

You cursed, hands propping you up on either side of him as he dipped his index finger into you, the intrusion enough to have your back arching into him, desperate for more. 

But Bucky was a tease. And even now, after all of this time, it was the very thing that had your buckling above him. Pleading and begging for more.

“Look at you.” He started, his eyes dark as he pushed deeper inside, his finger curing into you as you gasped. 

“P-please, Buck.” You begged, grinding down onto his hand. To your dismay he only chuckled, watching intently as you came undone around him. 

“I told you,” He started, lifting you off of him and tossing you against the backseats, “Don’t call me that.” 

You couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of your throat as he awkwardly crawled towards you. But the look in his eyes had your stomach twisting into something that emulated fear. It was guttural as he pressed into you, the outline of his cock digging into your drenched folds.

You bit back a moan, eyes rolling back in your head as his cold fingers brushed against your core, pulling himself free from his boxers. 

“Do you still love me like you did?”  He spoke, and though the words were soft and filled with promises you had broken before, there was a darkness in his voice. 

“I never stopped.” You admitted. And it was true. But that didn't seem to be the answer he was looking for as he licked his bottom lip, eyes trained on your throat. 

“I’m afraid isn’t gonna’ feel much like love, doll.” He breathed out, lining himself up with your entrance. Before you could speak, he thrusted into you, knocking the air out of your chest as he bent you uncomfortably in half. You could only scream as he caged you in, forcing you down against the seats as he fucked into you. 

It’s not like you forgot how Bucky filled you, but his size was something you would never be able by to fully adjust to. Especially not now, when he was holding you steady, his hips snapping against you giving you no time to ease into the assault. And by the looks of the lopsided smirk plastered on his swollen lips, he knew exactly how shredded you felt. 

“Fuck, you take me so good, sweetheart.” The pet name doing nothing to quell the ache he sent ripping through your body as he sank deeper into you. You could only cry out, head smashing into the door as he kept up his brutal pace. 

“B-Bucky, please.” You weren't exactly sure what you were asking for, but at this rate you wouldn't last long, the familiar coil building in your abdomen as he nudged up against your cervix. 

“Slow down, baby.” You choked on a sob, eyes glassy as his vibranium fingers coiled around you thoat, pining you to the seats.  

“Did you miss this part, doll?” He whispered against your ear, a shiver ripping through your body and igniting a flame you had so desperately craved since the moment he vanished from your world. “Miss the way I ruin you, Hm? I can feel you, coming undone. You’re so close, aren’t you?” he teased, pressing his fingers deeper into your throat until you were coughing around the pressure. 

“All I need to do is-” His flesh thumb ran circles against your clit, your eyes rolling back into your skull as you croaked out his name, begging him to ease up. “There it is.” He chuckled, quickening his pace until you were a shivering mess beneath him. 

“Bucky, I-” 

“I’m going to ruin this cunt, sweetheart. Stay still, and let go for me” His voice was like gravel, only letting you breathe once you nodded your head in complicity, pulling your bottom lip into your mouth as the orgasm wrapped itself around your core. 

“Fuck.” You managed to scream, your head lulling back as a title-wave of ecstasy crashed over you, pulling you under.

“That’s my girl.” His words tipped you over the edge, his name on your lips like a prayer as you quivered, your body violently shaking. “God you're so tight when you- Shit!” 

With a few sloppy thrusts, Bucky came undone. His hot spend coating your pulsing walls as he gasped. Your bodies a tangled mess as he puffed out a breath against your neck. 

You both just stayed frozen, too afraid that the moment you pulled away, reality would sink in. And the truth was, you weren't exactly sure what that meant. 

Bucky slowly eased himself out of you, gasping a little as you spilled out onto, what you only hoped, would be easy to clean seats.

 “Doll, that was-” 

“Hey,” Sam knocked hard against the now foggy glass, “You two hungry, or what?” 

[enchantestuff]

cursed crown (1) - pierre gasly

in which sneaking into Pierres kingdom only means one thing

warnings: smut, royalty au so there's that, language maybe?

please please please let me know what you all think

“Are you alright?” you heard Pierre quietly call from the window above you. You had just arrived at his castle and were currently trying to climb up to the kitchen window, admittedly with no help from the prince himself.

“A little bit of help would be nice, Your Highness” you scoffed. Pierre laughed at the title you gave him but obliged nevertheless, leaning out of the window and stretching his arm downwards, waving it in front of your face teasingly. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed hold of it, “I thought I was supposed to be the mean one out of the two of us” you muttered when you finally climbed through the window and planted your feet firmly on the ground. You brushed some dirt away from your coat before finally meeting his beautiful blue eyes.

“Perhaps you're rubbing off on me, my lady,” Pierre grinned. He grabbed hold of your hand and quickly led the two of you out of the grand kitchen, carefully glancing across corridors and hiding behind walls as maids and a variety of guests walked through his pristine palace. You thought you would have been used to sneaking around his home by now, you had been doing it for months after all, but the trek from the kitchen to his bedroom was never an easy one. Even though Pierre had repeatedly confessed to you that this certain day of each month was the quietest, there still seemed to be countless people roaming the halls.

“I do quite hope you haven't acquired only my bad traits, Pierre,” you whispered, quickly glancing behind you as you ran up the stairs and into his bedroom. This was the riskiest part of your journey. The stairs that led up to his bedroom were open for anyone and everyone to see, whether it be from the inside balcony above or from the spacious hall below.

Pierre laughed at your comment, quickly shutting his bedroom door behind him and twisting his body around to face you. He placed his hands on your hips as he led you further into his bedroom. “Are you insinuating that you have any desirable qualities, my love?” he joked, his beloved silly grin quickly making its way onto his face causing your own smile to erupt on your own. These moments with Pierre were the only times you could truly be yourself and they didn't come around too often.

“Well of course, your highness” you smiled, snaking your hands up his arms to rest on his biceps. Pierre jokingly cocked an eyebrow at you, his hands trailing lower down your body, unable to keep them still for a second.

“And why is that?” he pondered, frowning slightly as you pulled away from him to take off your coat and climb onto his freshly made bed, getting comfortable in the silk sheets before peeking at him through your lashes.

“Because you crawl into bed with me every month” you teased. Your eyes trailed across his bedside table, smiling at the familiarity of it. Since the beginning of your late night rendezvous the contents of the table had never changed. There always lay a map of Othain, a journal which he had forbidden you to read and his beloved crown, the one that always lay atop of his head except during these moments with you and of course, when he was sleeping.

You carefully picked the crown up from where it lay and placed it onto your own head. It was much lighter than your own, less jewels scattered around it. It was a breath of fresh air. You didn't feel suffocated wearing it. Didn't feel weighed down by what it symbolized. “Now as your queen, i command you to come over here, for i have been deprived of your touch for far too long”

Pierre chuckled at your words, his steps towards his bed were deliberately slow. He knew how to tease you and from the glare you sent his way, he knew it was working. He crawled onto his bed, positioning himself on top of you and adjusting his crown on your head. “Well then, your majesty, I suspect that I am obliged to prove myself to you?” he jokingly questioned.

“Those are quite possibly the smartest words to leave your lips, my love” you commented. Unable to contain yourself any further, you pulled him towards you, finally connecting your lips after weeks apart from one another. Pierre didn't hesitate to kiss you back, but the short lasting kiss was not what you expected and a frown appeared on your face the minute he pulled away. “As much as I love your teasing, Pierre, I would really prefer it if you didn’t indulge in those habits right now.”

He smirked evilly as he trailed one of his hands down your thigh. “Is her majesty upset with my actions?” he pondered, his smirk not once leaving his face as he crawled further down the bed. Kisses were scattered across your thigh and the silent frustrated sigh that left your lips was a good enough answer for Pierre.

“Her majesty thinks she should get what she wants,” you selfishly spoke. You pulled lightly on Pierre's hair, a desperate attempt to get you closer to him again, to remove his lips from your thigh and place them on your own instead. Was that really too much to ask for?

“Well, I personally think she needs to stop being a brat and shut up for once in her life.” Your lips parted to scold him for his language but instead of rude comments, moans of pure delight seemed to leave your lips as Pierre attached his mouth to your core. He knew how to shut you up and for once in your life, you weren't complaining.

You tugged on his hair, pulling him closer into you as your head fell back in pleasure. Pierres crown slipped to fall beside you on the pillow but you paid it no mind as you felt pleasure pass through you like lightning bolts. “Oh Pierre,” you moaned as he lapped at your core similar to a man deprived of a meal. He couldn’t get enough of you.

Pierres fingers dug into your thighs as he moved to suck on your clit. “Shit,” you cursed as you felt the familiar knot begin to build in your stomach. After spending so much time with you and your body, Pierre believed he knew you inside out, which as a result meant he knew exactly when you were going to cum. He felt oh so evil as he brought you to your peak, only to pull away from you at the last second. The frown on your face was enough to make him feel slightly guilty. Only slightly.

“I am going to declare war on you, Pierre Gasly, '' you seethed, completely unsatisfied and now purely annoyed. You hadn’t trekked all the way to his kingdom in the middle of the night just for him to bring you towards the most amazing pleasure imaginable and leave you high and dry at the last moment.

“I'm afraid you don't have the power to do that yet, love” he grinned. He didn't give you any time to come up with a witty reply as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips before undressing himself in front of you.

“Is this your form of apologizing?” because well, it was working, there's just something about a handsome prince undressing before your very eyes that got you going.

“I was planning on making you cum over and over again, love” he spoke, stretching his arm out beside your head in order to place his crown back on your head. You looked so powerful with it on. You always looked powerful, but his own crown laying in your hair brought freshness to you that he didn't know was possible. It made his chest lighten and butterflies erupt in his stomach. It made him feel five again. “But if this is enough im happy to stop here and continue another time.”

You scoffed at him. Keeping one hand on the crown, you trailed your hand down your body, gripping onto your breast, maintaining eye contact with him as you did so, before moving further down your body. You ran your fingers up and down your folds, spreading the wetness gathered there before inserting one inside. “If you cant pleasure me, i guess i'll have to do it myself,” you muttered, knowing deep down that there was nothing Pierre hated more than you pleasuring yourself in front of him. It felt like a betrayal. Like he wasn’t enough.

Your plan succeeded spectacularly, as they always did, and in no time he was positioned on top of you, his tip teasingly brushing against your entrance. He dragged your hand away from your core and held it above your head. His grip was almost death-like and you found yourself relishing in the pain it brought.

“Don't doubt me for a second, love” Pierre grunted in your ear as he tapped his cock against your clit. You bit your lip at the sensation but allowed him to continue with his scolding. You knew there was nothing but love behind his words and so, to no surprise, you got more excited with each word that fell from his lips. “I think you know first hand the kind of pleasure I can bring you.” You gasped at the feeling of him filling you up. After nearly two weeks of not seeing each other, the sensation of him inside you was better than you had remembered. You transferred his crown onto his own head, an indication that whatever power you had over him was now practically non-existent. You were truly at his mercy.

“I'm sure you haven't forgotten the many times i've made you scream, love. I can do it again if your memory has begun to fail you.”

Pierre was always one to live up to his word. His sharp deliberate thrusts made your eyes roll back and several moans escaped your lips. You haven't been with any other man except Pierre and you would never need to. He knew your body more than you did and the delight that he brought you was extraordinary.

The squeezing of your wrist made your eyes snap open. His beautiful eyes were already watching you withering underneath him. A look of pure adoration plastered on his face as his hips continued to move at a rapid pace. “Shit, Pierre”

Pierre shook his head at you, a lopsided grin replacing his usual smirk as he leaned down to kiss your chest. “That's not what i want to hear, love.”

He was playing your own game against you, but you were too full of gratification to care. “P- please, your highness.” A blush crept up your cheeks at the seriousness of your own voice. You were no longer mocking him with his title but moaning it in pure delight.

Pierre cocked his head at you, “Please what, love? Use your words.” Tingles made its way onto your skin from kisses he scattered over your neck, goosebumps trailing in their wake. You didn't even process your words until they were out in the open.

“Fuck me like your life depends on it.”

And he did. His thrusts became unbelievably precise, his free hand roamed your body, circling and squeezing all the right places while his other intertwined with yours. You knew there would be marks left from where he had held on too hard, but you didn't see it as a mark of pain rather than an indication of what had gone on between you two.  A reminder for the next long two weeks ahead of you.

The clenching of your walls for the second time that night indicated to Pierre you were close. “Hold on, love” he ushered. Something that was incredibly hard to do when he was pounding into you like an animal and circling your clit like he was under a spell.

“I - i can't,” you sobbed. You wanted so bad to release the knot in your stomach, to catch the orgasm you had been chasing all night.

“I said hold it.” He was in control, that much was clear, but you could only hold on for so long until your body couldn’t take it anymore.

“P - pierre, fuck!”

“That's it, love,” Pierre groaned in your ear, “Hold on for just another moment, such a good girl for me.” Your eyes rolled back and your gripped onto his hand for dear life. “Don't know what id do without you.” Your heart skipped a beat and tears began welling in your eyes. “Look so pretty right now, taking me like the queen you'll soon be.” Your breath increased and a whimper left your lips.

“You can let go now, love.”

Nights with Pierre were often sleepless. You had plenty of time to sleep when you were alone in your bedroom. Two nights each month you spent facing the beautiful prince, talking about utter nonsense until your cheeks hurt from smiling too hard and your eyes drooped from being awake for too long.

“Im being sent somewhere tomorrow,” you whispered into the darkness, playing with his hands as you dared to break the silence around you. You could feel him tense up next to you, obviously assuming the worst and imagining an attack his own kingdom. His own people. “Not you, “ you reassured, your heart fluttering when he immediately relaxed beside you, “Some rebels gathering together behind the mountains, I’ll have to leave early in the morning.”

It hurt you to cut your already short time with Pierre even shorter, but duty called and once your father demands your presence on a mission, you had no choice than show up.

“I hate the fact you have to go out on these stupid battles,” Pierre confided. He hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night, wanting to imprint the image of your face in his mind until the next time he saw you again.

“Well, unlike you, I have to prove myself to everyone.” It was the harsh reality of your world, one that you were reminded of at each public event you attended. You were a woman and for that reason, deemed unworthy of ruling.

“You wouldn’t have to prove yourself to anyone if you ran away with me,” he reminded. Without fail, every time you met up with Pierre, he brought up the idea of running far away to another kingdom, one where the two of you could live like commoners and not have to worry about the state of a kingdom nor dooming battles. It was a daydream that both frightened and enticed you in the best ways possible.

“You really think you can survive without all this luxury?” you pondered, your hands immediately running up and down the silk sheets on top of you as your eyes floated across the numerous jewels and paintings scattered around his room.

“With you next to me?” he asked. His hand came to rest on your jaw, moving your face closer to his own as he spoke his true desires out loud, “Of course.”

[heavenbarnes]

PLEASE STAND BY: Feel it in the air tonight

Wanda Maximoff x female reader

Warning/Contains: spoilers for “WandaVision”, aspects of mind-control meaning reader isn’t truly consenting, parts of this don’t make sense and are designed to make you feel strange, cheating, oral sex, dirty talk

Word Count: 3.7k

the 80′s are upon us and things are starting to change, are you willing to feel strange for a while? hmm, anyhow, hope you are all still enjoying! x

MASTERLIST

“You boys just keep getting bigger every time I see you,” You cooed, hands going to ruffle the twins hair. “Swear you were just up to my knees last time I saw you both.”

Tommy and Billy both laugh despite the way they wiggled out of your reach, running back to whatever fracas they were causing in the kitchen.

“Kids, you take your eyes off ‘em for a second and suddenly they’re a whole different person!”

Looking to Agnes knowingly, you couldn’t help but nod in agreement as you made your way further into the house. She was making herself right at home in the Vision residence, nose in the cupboards and leaving no space uncovered.

“Is Wanda about?”

“I sure am!” That soft lilt drifted down the staircase and right before you, your smile immediately growing.

Your cheeks prickled in heat as you weren’t sure how to get the next words out. Looking out from under your brows, you shot Wanda a shy little gaze that only said coquettish to her.

“Agnes, would you be so kind as to get the boys to their uh-”

“Their swim lessons?” The neighbor filled in, already rounding up the kids with their things.

“Yes! Thank you!” Wanda gave the boys a kiss each as she walked them to the door. “I owe you big time!”

Agnes turned back over her shoulder as they made their way out. “Not a worries, you gals have fun.”

There was no way she could’ve known, but that little wink she threw you both, it both frightened and excited you. Knowing that she might know what you were getting up to in your day-to-days.

The door shutting broke your swirling thoughts, your mind only going straight to Wanda as she stood before you. Her eyes scanned your face, coming down to take in your outfit, too. You’d only thrown on cycle shorts and a sweater but she was eyeing you up as if you were wearing nothing at all.

She cleared the space between you so quickly, wrapping you up in her touch to press your lips against hers. Steadily walking you backwards, her hands ran the length of your back and up to cup your face, teeth nibbling gently at your lower lip.

“You get even sweeter every time I see you.” Her comment drew a giggle from you, your hands coming to thread through her curls.

She wasted no time with you, backing you towards the dining table and pushing you up onto it. Leaning towards you, her lips continued to move sweetly with your own, her taste and tongue taking over you entirely. You almost missed the way her fingers started at the waist band of your shorts.

Not wasting time with removing your chunky sneakers either, she pulled your bottoms to your ankles and slotted into the space between your legs, kneeling before you. It was all moving so quickly, your heart rate was rising with every touch she left against you.

Fingers gripping your thighs, lips pressing against the soft skin that grew from there, Wanda smiled up at you like the cat who got the cream. Brushing a few stray curls off her forehead, you gave her a smirk laced entirely with longing.

“You are one hot mama, mama.”

She giggled at your funny little ways, she brought her teeth to leave a gentle nip close to the meeting of your thighs. It made you jolt, and the gasp that fell from you tapered off into a moan at the end there.

Moving closer to where you knew you needed her more than anything, Wanda trailed her tongue up and along your slit as your thighs widened around her head. Tipping your own head back, you let a deep sigh drift out into the world as you felt all your muscles loosening.

Your hands dropped from her head to the edge of the table, gripping it under your fingers as her tongue came to your clit. Rolling it around, she began to find a steady movement that made your eyes roll back in your head. As your hips began to rock into her mouth, the heat in your body rose.

Wanda knew you inside and out, like she was able to read your entire being and know what was going to work. Her lips closed around your most sensitive area, suckling gently as she drew the softest and sweetest cries from you.

It always felt right, never felt greedy and never felt naughty, Wanda always made it feel like this is what you worked your whole life for. If you were good and you were kind then maybe one day you��d end up with the most beautiful girl perched between your legs.

Taking one of your hands, you threaded it back into her hair so you could tug just a bit. Doing so earnt a moan from Wanda, one that rumbled through you and ricocheted off all the right spots. Your legs tensed slightly, your hips dipping down to move against her tongue.

She drew it from your wetness back up to your clit, flickering it and pressing it against her lip to create friction. Your breaths were beginning to break like waves, choppy and wild as she took complete control over your body with simple movements of her mouth.

Gripping her tighter, you pulled her in as she sighed contently into you. Still rolling your hips like you needed it, you nearly began to ride her face in absolute bliss. It was bliss, it was heaven and it was all you ever needed in that moment.

“You feel so good, you make me feel so good, Wanda you’re-”

Pulling back from you slightly, she gripped tighter on your thighs.

“Tell me, use your words.”

Going back to her work, you were already working yourself up with every movement of your hips. Chest huffing you only just got the words out.

“Wanda you’re everything.” 

And that was all she needed, the deepest groan left her chest and her mouth only sped up, which launched you very quickly off the edge and caught you in the waves of pleasure.

They washed over you, your hands in her hair and her name on your lips. She let you ride her tongue through the overwhelming pleasure, keeping you under the water until you were entirely washed in the tide of her.

So gentle and so loving, she let you come down and to extend the gesture she pulled your bottoms back up for you. Helping you off the table, she fixed your clothes as you fixed her hair, both giggling to one another.

She kissed your cheek, before you tilted your face so she could find your lips. They closed against one another and as you opened, you could taste the sweetness of yourself lingering there.

“How about some tea?” She mumbled against you, drawing a laugh from you.

“Yes please, hot mama.” 

Gently swatting her behind as she walked past, you both smiled knowingly to one another as Wanda went to the other room.

Leaving you alone in her living room, the nosiness in you drifted you around, picking at things and getting glimpses into the Vision’s lives.

Lifting up a picture, it was lovely, the four of them all grouped together with the brightest of smiles. It reminded you of the photo on your mantle, you couldn’t remember when it was taken but you had always thought it was the most beautiful picture of James-

Cutting your thoughts was a nearly searing pain shooting behind your eyes. It made you lose your grip on the picture, the frame clattering back to the side table. Wanda came back in at the sound, mugs in hand and a look of confusion.

“Is everything okay?”

Your sweater covered your hand slightly as you brought it to your forehead, holding your head gently as the pain began to settle.

“I think so, I just had the worst pain right in my mind, I have no idea where it came from.”

She looked worried, ushering you closer to her as she sat the cups down. “What were you doing when it happened?”

Thinking back, you shut your eyes to take a moment. “I was just admiring your photo, thinking of my one with-”

And it unleashed itself again, the pain radiating so tight across your eyes that you sealed them shut firmly this time. The yelp that escaped your throat was enough to have Wanda really concerned now.

She grasped your hands in her arms and began to walk you. “Something doesn’t seem right, have you been feeling unwell lately?”

Truly, you cant remember. It’d been a strange few days of not remembering your dreams or even what you’d been doing just the other day, so really you weren’t sure. Nevertheless, you were sure it would be fine.

“It’s okay, Wanda, I think I just need to go home.” Pressing your palm to your forehead, the pain was beginning to ease.

“No, I really think you’ll be better if you stay here, you don’t want to be alone.” She was fluffing about now, ushering you to sit on the overstuffed sofa.

“I won’t be alone, James should-”

“Here!” Like her voice ran away on her, it came out a tad sharp. “Here is best for the moment.”

The pain eased even further and suddenly you were overcome with the idea that this was certainly the best place for you to be. Wanda’s hands eased across your shoulders and squeezed gently, further allowing the tension to melt from you.

“There have been the strangest things going on as of late, if everyone would just take it easy for a moment.” Her voice wavered only slightly as she also began to calm herself.

“You’re right, things have been a little strange-”

Before you could finish your sentence, Vision came through the front door with your husband in tow. “Look who I found milling about!”

You could’ve sworn you heard Wanda sigh, and not a tired sigh, it was tinged with annoyance. She let go of your shoulders, allowing you to get up and round the sofa to James. Following you, she gave Vision a quick kiss on the lips, but you missed the way her eyes bored into the back of your head.

If looks could kill you would’ve dropped dead the minute James scooped you up into his arms and laid his lips against yours. So warm and so all consuming, you lent further into him with your hands balled in the lapels of his blazer.

“Wanda, honey, are you feeling alright?” Turning your head at Vision’s voice, it all happened so quickly.

You saw her hands move, the faint red glow, but before you could ask her what on Earth was going on, you felt the ground move beneath your feet.

James slipped from your grasp, suddenly you felt the wool of Vision’s suit in your hands, tall stature dipping slightly to press his lips against yours. One of your hands lifted to slip into the strands of blonde hair, smooth against your touch.

“What, no, no.” You heard Wanda’s voice before the shift started again.

Agnes’ dark curls slipped through your fingers as her lips moved against your own. She pulled you in tighter by your waist, holding you flush against her chest as your other hand fisted her shirt.

“Why can’t I just-”

The pain eased even further and suddenly you were overcome with the idea that this was certainly the best place for you to be. Wanda’s hands eased across your shoulders and squeezed gently, further allowing the tension to melt from you.

“Your hands really are magic, Wanda.” You cooed as your body fell into the warmth of her touch.

The sound of feet bounding down the stairs snapped both your heads towards the noise, happy calls from the boys of “dad’s home dad’s home!”

Followed by the door opening, Vision stepped across the threshold with a smile, enveloping his son’s in a hug before offering both you and his wife a kind grin. As Wanda moved to great her husband, you also followed them to the doorway.

“I think this means I better get dinner on!” You laughed, giving everyone little waves. “Meatloaf to be made!”

Wanda’s face wasn’t sad, maybe just a little tired. She waved you off nonetheless like the rest of her family and said her goodbyes for the night.

-

Wrapping your knuckles against the door, you rocked on your heels as you waited for the joy of your morning. Just seeing Wanda’s smiling face as she opens the door is enough to see you right for the rest of your day. 

Door swinging open and smile already growing on your face, it didn’t so much as drop, it just stalled for a moment.

“Well good morning to me,” Fingers brushed back silver hair and shoulder rested on the doorframe. “Please, tell me this isn’t a dream.”

You quirked a brow before you tilted back a tad, checking you had stepped up to the right house. Sure enough, 2800 looked back at you and you looked back at the young man with a bright grin and cropped sweatshirt.

“Is Wanda home?” You gave him a ginger smile, nervously twiddling your fingers in the hem of your shirt.

Eyes still fixed on you, he lent back further into the house. “Sis, there’s an absolute babe here looking for you!”

Trying your best to ignore the wink he shot you, you let the word sis tick over in your brain. You didn’t think Wanda had ever mentioned a brother to you before, but maybe you’d forgotten, a few things had slipped your mind as of late.

“Let her in, she’s our neighbor!”

You couldn’t miss the way your cheeks heated at that, how she knew who he meant by just that little comment. It made your heart tweak a little, but you had to push it down as Wanda’s brother stepped to the side to let you in.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” You gave him a kind little smile, watching the way he came to rest beside you against the back of the couch.

“I’m Pietro, Wanda’s twin brother.”

“Twin?”

“Twin, fraternal and everything.”

He turned towards you slightly whilst you nodded intently. Your eyes flickered to the stairs, waiting for Wanda to come down, but there didn’t seem to be any sight of her. “And what are you doing in little old Westview?”

You were a little delayed in turning back to him, eyes still fixed waiting on Wanda, but you turned back nonetheless. “Sorry?”

“What brought you here?”

“Oh, uh,” You thought for a moment. “I think it was just the security of the neighborhood.”

Nodding along with you, you could’ve sworn he moved in closer. “Well I might have to park up here too, if the neighbors look like you.”

You could feel the flames rising behind your cheeks, but once against you quashed it down. “You’re very kind.”

“And you’re very pretty.”

Now that was forward, you turned fully this time to look him right in the eye. “Sorry?”

“I mean, I’m sure you know that, you still look the same.”

That comment sort of got lost on you, you were still reeling just a bit from the entire situation. Getting up off the back of the couch, you turned to stand in front of him.

“What are you getting at? What’s your motive?”

His lips quirked into a smile, brow dropped and you knew there was something coming. You didn’t know where this man found all his confidence, but he sure as hell wasn’t taking it easy on you.

But that doesn’t mean you were expecting his next move.

“Come on, give me a kiss.” Pietro’s hands came to gently grasp your wrists, turning you to face him.

“Excuse me! I have a husband.”

“Ah, so it’s not cause you don’t want to it’s cause- wait, who’s your husband?”

Shooting him a look of confusion, you shook your head as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“James, we’re married?” Drawing out your words, you came in loud and clear.

Regardless, Pietro still quirked his brow. “No you’re not.”

“Yes we are, we’ve been married for- well I don’t remember but we are.”

“No,” He stressed. “You’re not, I knew Bucky had a crush on you but he hasn’t even asked you out, let alone popped the question.”

And there was that feeling, becoming awfully familiar as it washed over you once again. It was like waking up, except you weren’t in your bed, you were standing in a room that you had no recollection of getting to. To put it simply, you woke up to find you were crawling in your skin.

“Bucky,” Your voice nearly fell apart at the seems. “And I’m-”

“Agent 19,” Pietro filled in your blanks. “You’re a team, never one without the other, yada yada yada.”

That tight feeling in your chest, that wrapping around your heart and tugging the near life out of it, it was so consuming. You looked to him for anything, but he just shrugged his shoulders, eyes traveling to the doorway.

“And what is going here?” You heard her sing song voice before you saw her, he knew she was coming.

This could be your moment, your moment to play the game of “nothing is wrong” and play your upper hand. Every part of you wanted to turn to her with that beaming smile and bat your eyelashes, but the pounding in your chest- the carnal feeling that always existed in you, that was stronger than your reserve.

“I don’t know Wanda!” Spinning on your heel, you faced her dead on. “Why don’t you tell me, seen as you seem to know a damn sight more about my life than I do.”

You’d never seen her look like that before, you’d seen her cast with discontent when something like this had began to fall apart. But this look, she almost seemed to be afraid?

Mouth opening and closing a couple times, Wanda scoffed as she spoke. “Where is this coming from?”

“I don’t know!” You felt Pietro grasp your waist as you nearly lunged forward. “I don’t know where anything is coming from, I don’t know where this life came from!”

Wanda shook her head, hands going to her hips to tut at her brother. “Pietro, you’ve upset her.”

That anger that was steadily unraveling inside of you, so coiled up from being held down by smiles and laugh tracks, it nearly drowned you as it all came to the surface.

“Why don’t you ever call me by a name?” 

Your question had caught her off guard, but with easy deflection she clipped a laugh towards it.

“Forgive me for having pet-names.”

“No, tell me what my name is.”

“You know your own name-”

“NO I DON’T!”

For all you thought about her, she’d never seen you like this. Your whole body raised up as it all spilled out of you, untapped rage tumbling from your lips as you willed your eyes not to well with tears.

Wanda somehow found composure, shut her mouth and once again, shook her head in your face. “You’ve lost sight of yourself, this is obviously all too much.”

You saw her hands, the way her fingers poised with palms turned together. If Pietro hadn’t had a hold on you, you weren’t sure what would’ve unleashed from you.

“No, don’t you dare change the scene on me, I am sick and tired of you changing the scene when you get upset,” Crying out, your voice cracked only slightly, despite yourself. “You don’t know what it does to my [CENSORED] brain!”

Hearing the sound fall from your lips, knowing you didn’t make it, you’d never felt pain like that in your life. “And now you’re censoring me?”

Maybe he could feel you move beneath his hands, maybe he could just hear it in your voice, but Pietro pulled you back into himself. “Wanda, sis, you might want to give her a break-”

“What is happening?” Your husband, or your partner, or Bucky- Bucky came in from off stage.

In a strange sort of turn-of-events, Vision trailed in behind him, confusion just as evident across his features. He looked to Wanda, but just as quickly he was looking to you with a hint of question behind his eyes.

Shooting Bucky a look, dead in the eye and as straight as you could, there was a feeling that there was one shot at this. “Bucky, please.”

And that was all it took, you could see the light change in his eyes, the way his features softened but the rest of his body straightened in an instant. You weren’t immune to the way his eyes dropped to Pietro’s grasp on you as he scanned the area.

“Oh my goodness,” Wanda threw her hands in the air, once again shaking her head. “Everyone just cool it!”

“My dear, what has been going on? They seem upset.” Vision had that signature lilt, the tone of a man who has began walking on eggshells.

“No, I cannot believe this!” She took a turn, facing you all in an instant. “I will not be told what to do in my own reality!”

The unravel in your chest stopped, and soon you realized you’d given yourself enough rope. “Stop, please just-”

“Come on, give me a kiss.” Pietro’s hands came to gently grasp your wrists, turning you to face him.

“Excuse me! I have a husband.”

"And that’s my cue!” Your man called out as he poked his head through the door and with a chuckle, he began to cross the small space to you both.

“Here he is now,” Your arm looped around his waist as you pulled him close, your eyes both catching in a tight stare. “How nice of you to join us, Bucky.”

-

“I think we’ve done it, I think they’ve made enough headway.”

Regardless of the progress that’d just unfolded, soon those same technicolor bars spread across the screen.

“If they just stay this strong, they stay together then they might just be able to take control of this too.”

Tapping a pen against the screen, those tell-all letters glowed before them.

“PLEASE STAND BY.”

[hxseok-honee]

blossom | part 16

blossom [part 16] || 'Hoseokie'

[‘cause all i need is to see you blossom out, blossom out, blossom out]

previous || masterlist || next

a/n : I cant tell if this is a hobi chapter or a yoongi chapter but i am very in love with them both thats for sure -- lmk what you think!

“Hobi, hi!” Y/n had practically slammed face first into the front door in her rush to answer it, and she’s a little breathless when she finally greets him. She’d honestly been expecting maybe a different, more confident Hoseok than the one she’d become familiar with to be standing there -- after all, he certainly looks the part today. But she’s pleasantly surprised to find that he’s still the same old Hoseok, rocking back and forth on his heels on her porch while he takes in the exterior of her home with bright, wide eyes.

He turns those eyes to her now, his smile boyishly charming as his red ears poke out cutely from beneath his winter hat.

“Y/n! Your house is so cute!” The compliment rolls off his tongue immediately, because frankly it’s all he could think about as he’d walked up the path to her door. It suits her perfectly, this lovely little home on the outskirts of town. He holds up a bag when she thanks him, shaking it lightly while he steps inside, following her into the entryway.

“I know you said no gifts, but I couldn’t show up with nothing!” He sets the bag into her waiting hands, pulling out four flower crowns -- they’re perfect, clearly crafted with care and delicacy that borders on professional. Each one is unique in size and style, somehow a set of matching winter crowns but created with individual intent. She can’t even bother to hide the look of endearment she shoots him.

“Hobi, you really didn’t have to do all of this.” He waves her off while he removes his hat, and she sets the bag down so she can take his coat while he explains.

“It’s nothing, seriously. I didn’t know what I could possibly buy you and your family because I don’t know what they like, so I thought I’d stick to something I know… I tried to make the one for your dad a bit more, uh -- manly? It was hard, though.” He laughs off his slight embarrassment, but Y/n’s mind is stalling on what he’d said. She turns to him with an awkward smile.

“Ah… I thought the big one might have been to fit Yoongi’s massive head… I think it still would fit him, to be honest.” When Hoseok blinks at her in confusion, she only offers an uncomfortable laugh. “My dad’s not around, actually… There’s only three of us.” Hoseok’s eyes go wide, and he finds himself swearing internally. He hadn’t even noticed that she’d never mentioned her dad before.

“Shoot, I’m sorry -- I didn’t even think about it--”

“No, you’re fine! It’s okay, it’s my fault for forgetting to mention it.” When he tries to apologize again, Y/n only sets the larger flower crown on his head to silence him. It hangs low on his forehead, making her smile. “Seriously, Hobi -- you’re sweet for even thinking of all of this.” He opens his mouth, still feeling unsure, but another voice cuts in before he can say anything.

“Yoonie’s here! Oh-- you’re not Yoonie…” Sliding into the doorway with small socked feet is a literal carbon copy of Y/n -- granted, she’s about a head shorter and very clearly a child, but the resemblance is uncanny. Hoseok blinks at the girl, and she only blinks back, hands on her hips in what can be described only as disappointment. Y/n rolls her eyes playfully.

“Hoseok, meet Hana, my 8-year-old sister. Hana, meet the boy that brought you a handmade flower crown -- so be nice.” Immediately, Hana’s arms are dropping in surprise, her eyes wide as she glances at Hoseok’s hands. He smiles kindly, picking out the crown with the smallest circumference and handing it to her. The girl’s eyes almost sparkle with excitement as she moves to take it from him, fingers delicate as she sets it on her hair.

“I had to guess at what size your head would be, but I hope you like it!” Y/n’s sister blinks up at him with an expectant gaze when he’s done talking, clearly waiting for an assessment.

“Do I look nice?” Hoseok warms immediately, finding the girl entirely endearing. He nods, handing Y/n her own crown while he responds. He has to stop himself from doing a double-take when she puts hers on.

So pretty…

“Yay! Thank you for the pretty crown!” Hoseok blinks, realizing he’d definitely just said that out loud. Luckily, the sisters had taken it as a response to Hana’s question, and he feels relief flood his body at the coincidence. He’s so busy thanking whatever higher power had just saved him from that awkward moment that he misses the sound of the front door opening behind him.

“Yoonie!” Coming back to reality, Hoseok barely has time to jump out of the way as the 8-year-old barrels past him, charging with purpose for the person entering the home.

“Monkey!” The voice that hits his ears is familiar, but it’s entirely unlike the person he knows it belongs to. Looking up, Hoseok can only stare lamely as Hana all but flies through the air, caught securely in the arms of one Min Yoongi. The Slytherin laughs loudly at the sudden attack, swinging the girl around in greeting before taking a good look at her.

“Jeez, do you ever stop growing? I’m getting nervous over here, kid.” Yoongi sees Y/n and Hoseok then, and he greets them with nothing more than a nod and a cool grin.

“Happy Christmas, nerds--” Somehow managing to hold onto Hana with one arm, he extends the other out to Y/n, passing her a large bag of gifts. “The one on top’s for you -- don’t even think about it, loser.” Y/n had peered curiously at the topmost gift when he’d said it was hers, eyeing it with excitement. She rolls her eyes now, letting the bag hang at her side as she waves Hoseok into the next room -- a living room, decked out in warm blankets and an even warmer fireplace. There’s a staircase on the far end of the room, the wooden steps uneven from years of use. The home is small but very clearly lived in, and Hoseok’s happy to think that he’s been allowed into Y/n’s childhood home.

There are a few picture frames on the fireplace mantel, and he can’t help but wander over to them while Y/n sets the gifts under the decorated tree in the corner. He looks over the photos with a smile, listening as Yoongi and Hana catch up behind him.

“What’s that on your head, Monkey? I like it.”

“A flower crown from Y/n’s boyfriend! He said it looks pretty on me.” Y/n chokes on her own saliva when she hears those words -- Y/n’s boyfriend -- and Hoseok finds himself overheating just slightly. He swears it’s from the crackling fire in front of him, and he tugs a few times at the front of his dress shirt in discomfort. Y/n glares at Yoongi, who’s barely managing to contain his laughter.

“Hoseok’s not my boyfriend, Hana--” The girl turns, maneuvering her way out of Yoongi’s arms and onto his back while she responds, clearly confused.

“But the last boy you brought home was Stinky Koo, and he was your boyfriend!” Hoseok’s immensely glad that he’s still facing the fireplace, because the name Stinky Koo is much more amusing to him than it should be. He turns to face them only when he’s got his face under control, but he almost cracks when he sees how proud Yoongi looks -- it must have been him that had nicknamed Jungkook for the young girl.

Desperate to change the subject, Hoseok gestures at the photo in the middle of the mantel -- a portrait of the sisters and their mother.

“Your mom’s beautiful, Y/n. Like a queen.” Y/n smiles shyly, Yoongi nodding appreciatively behind her. He's doing just fine, Yoongi thinks to himself, seeing how obviously nervous Hoseok is.

“Well, thank you, young man! Y/n, I like this boy.” The photograph in question is nothing compared to the woman that enters the room, and Hoseok swears the genetics in this house have seriously won the lottery. Y/n’s mother has the kindest eyes he’s ever seen, and he feels like all he wants right now is to see those eyes look at him with approval. It would mean the world, honestly.

She steps toward the group of kids, smiling sweetly at Hoseok before immediately turning to Yoongi with an evil glint in her eye. The boy never stood a chance, only having enough time to inhale sharply before her fingers are coming down on his cheeks, pinching with all her might. Y/n snorts when Yoongi lets out a pained wail.

“Release me, woman!” Hoseok’s shocked at the tone Yoongi takes with her, but Y/n’s beside him in an instant to do damage control.

“My mom’s favorite pastime is antagonizing him -- Yoongi’s been around long enough that formalities just… don’t exist… You get used to it.” Hoseok only nods as he watches her mom start in on the Slytherin.

“Never in my life have I seen a boy with so little meat on his body -- do you even eat, or is the sickly look in style these days?” The woman pinches at Yoongi’s torso for emphasis, and he starts to wriggle away from her, Hana barely managing to hang onto him for dear life.

“This is why I never come here -- the bullying is insufferable!” Yoongi hops around the living room with the 8-year-old glued to him, racing for the doorway into another room when he sees that Y/n’s mom isn’t giving up anytime soon. She almost follows the pair when they disappear, deciding instead to stay in the room with Y/n and Hoseok, an innocent grin on her face.

“You look much healthier than that bag of bones over there--” Hoseok realizes she’s addressing him and smiles, extending a hand to greet her and ignoring Yoongi when he lets out an enraged ‘hey!’ in the other room.

“You have such a lovely home, Ma’am-- Oh! I made you this!” He’d almost forgotten about his gift, but it’s hanging from the wrist he’s using to shake her hand, making him look both awkward and cute as he struggles to hand it to her with some semblance of elegance. “I hope you like it-- I can mend it if it’s too big! But… I left my bag at home, so I’ll have to run to get the scissors and twine-- Oh, it fits!” Y/n’s mom had watched him stumble over his words for a moment before decisively setting the crown on her head with a smile.

“I love it, Hoseok -- thank you.” He blinks, realizing that she knows his name although he had forgotten to introduce himself, and it clicks that Y/n’s talked about him to her mom before. The shy smile on the Gryffindor’s face only confirms his suspicions, filling him with joy. He smiles brightly, following Y/n’s mom when she waves him into the room where Yoongi had gone.

It’s a kitchen, small but comfortable, with a dining table positioned in the middle of the room. When they enter, they find Yoongi bent over the open oven door, lifting a large dish out of it and setting it on top of the stove. Hana’s clung tightly to his back, but the Sytherin moves around the kitchen with ease, dropping the oven mitts on the counter on his way to grab plates from one of the cabinets. It’s obvious not only that he’s very used to having Y/n’s sister stuck to him, but also that he’s comfortable in this home, fully aware of how the house functions.

“What in the world do you think you’re doing? Get out of my kitchen -- you’ll break something!” Y/n’s mom makes a beeline for Yoongi, swatting him away with an oven mitt scooped up from the counter. He complains loudly, grabbing at it and arguing with the woman.

“Will you please just sit down and let me do this?! You’re in my way -- go sit down, Mom!” It looks like a fight -- by all standards, it’s a mother and son arguing and nothing else. But Hoseok looks around the room, taking in the table full of homemade food, the sink full of dishes from the cooking. He sees the light sheen of sweat on the woman’s face, knowing just by looking that she’d been working tirelessly to make Christmas dinner for them. And when he looks to Yoongi, he sees that the boy knows this, too -- that he’s urging her to sit down and relax, that he’s just making it seem like he’s annoyed instead of openly caring for her. That, along with the fact that Hana is very clearly emotionally attached to the Slytherin, makes it obvious to Hoseok that Yoongi belongs here. That this Yoongi belongs here, not the promiscuous one that the entirety of Hogwarts knows. Hogwarts doesn’t know this Yoongi.

“You’re doing that thing again.” Hoseok jumps, realizing when he turns that Y/n’s watching him closely. He smiles, cocking his head to the side in confusion. The chaos of the room never stops, happening in the background while he and Y/n stand in the doorway.

“What thing?” She grins, pointing at his face.

“That observant badger thing. You’re just watching and taking mental notes.” He flushes slightly, not even realizing that he does this often enough to classify it as a ‘thing’. He gestures to her best friend, a question slipping out in the form of an observation, something he’s apparently good at.

“I didn’t realize Yoongi was good with kids.” Y/n snickers, shaking her head.

“He’s not, actually. One time, he tripped over a kid at the store because he hadn’t seen them walking past, and for the rest of the day he kept saying ‘children are the evil groundhogs of the world… waiting to pop their little heads out of the ground and scare you’. It was kinda dramatic.” Hoseok blinks, utterly dumbfounded by that story because it sounds exactly like something Yoongi say, but the Yoongi in the kitchen right now is not showing any of that malice.

“So… then how did this happen?” He gestures to the pair hopping around the dining table, Hana now clinging to Yoongi’s leg while the boy sets out utensils, all the while bickering with her mom. It’s not hard to imagine, seeing how the girl hangs off of him, why Yoongi calls her Monkey.

“Well -- Hana’s 8, which means Yoongi’s been in her life for… almost the entirety of it. And, although I doubt he’d say it, I know he feels some sense of responsibility for her since our dad’s not around. He’s just kind of always looked after her, so she definitely relies on him a lot.” Y/n looks at peace when she says it, and Hoseok gets the feeling that she appreciates Yoongi’s involvement with her family more than she’s letting on.

“They’re pretty cute… It’s nice to see.” Y/n smirks at Hoseok’s final assessment before beckoning him further into the kitchen, commenting in a low voice as she moves to the table.

“Don’t let Yoongi hear you say that -- his ego needs to be kept under control as it is.” Yoongi looks up when he hears his name, lifting an eyebrow but asking no questions as he examines Hoseok and Y/n. Letting it go, he glances down at the child sitting on his foot.

“Let’s wash our hands, Monkey. I dont need your dirty germs getting in my food.” Hana protests loudly but allows Yoongi to haul her off to the bathroom to wash up. He sets his phone on the table when he goes, and Hoseok can only imagine how much trust he has in Y/n to leave her with it -- especially because it keeps buzzing with notifications, and Hoseok can tell even from here that Yoongi has his message previews on.

When they return, Y/n passes the boy his phone, but not before it lights up again in her hand. Without meaning to, she glances down at it, and Hoseok’s not sure what she sees, but it has Yoongi looking at her with wide eyes once he’s gotten a chance to read it, too. He eyes her almost guiltily, but she only smiles knowingly and turns back to the table, taking the seat next to Hoseok.

“Let’s eat!”

--

Dinner passes surprisingly easily for Hoseok -- he’d been nervous all day, changing and re-changing his clothes until finally he’d just given up and left his apartment. But now, sitting here with Y/n and her family, he feels welcomed, included immediately in the chaos of the group dynamic while they eat. Her mother insists on piling his plate high with insanely delicious food, although it’s not nearly as much as she feeds Yoongi, who looks disgruntled at being called a walking skeleton but eats it all with vigor, anyway.

Just as they’re finishing dinner, Hoseok jumping to his feet to help clear the table, Hana rests her elbows on the wood, peering up at him curiously while he moves around the room. He has to purse his lips to stop himself from smiling when he spots her legs swinging back and forth from her chair, not yet able to reach the floor.

“Who’s that other flower crown for? Is it for you? It’s kinda big on you!” His eyes widen just a fraction, and he looks to Y/n for help as he hums. Y/n starts talking at the same time he does.

“Oh, it’s just an extra--

“He just accidentally made it too big--”

“It’s for me!” Yoongi cuts them both off with finality, sticking his hand out almost childishly for the crown hanging low on Hoseok’s head. Hoseok looks at him in shock, forgetting to mask his emotions for the young girl in front of him. But it’s fine because Hana’s only looking at Yoongi, something the Slytherin's clearly aware of when he waves his awaiting hand, dramatically impatient for her sake.

“But then why haven’t you been wearing it the whole time?” The girl’s questions are straight to the point, and Y/n’s mom starts to tell her not to pry, but Yoongi’s always ready for Hana’s inquiries.

“Obviously, Hoseok’s a little shy about giving me a Christmas gift -- he’s been waiting for the right time!” He sounds so sure of himself, like he actually believes it. But as Hoseok’s lifting the crown off of his head and setting it in Yoongi’s hand, he sees the look the boy gives him, and he knows that Yoongi’s aware of the assumption he’d made about Y/n’s father.

And of course Yoongi knows -- he’d made the exact same mistake the first time he’d visited the home at 11 years old, walking in with expensive gifts for both parents because his mom had always stressed that ‘you never go to someone else’s house empty handed’. Hana was much too young then, only a year old, and Yoongi’s not about to let the girl catch on now and risk souring the Christmas spirit. He knows how insecure she gets sometimes about not having a dad, so he saves Hoseok from the moment with practiced ease.

Looking away from the Hufflepuff and turning to Hana while he sets the crown on his head, he points up at it.

“How’s it look, Monkey?” The girl hums, squinting for a moment before nodding.

“It fits! Probably because you have a big head.” Y/n snorts loudly, even Hoseok coughing out a laugh while he sets dishes in the sink. Yoongi only nods, accepting that he’s just been blatantly insulted by an 8-year-old, made worse by Y/n’s mom running her hand over Hana’s hair in amused approval.

“That’s my girl -- you tell the skinny boy how it is.” Yoongi opens his mouth to protest, but the woman’s standing to retrieve something from the fridge, and immediately his complaints are replaced by an excited gasp.

“Is that--”

“Well, someone’s gotta feed you your favorites!” Hoseok only glances over his shoulder while he and Y/n clean up, seeing that the woman’s setting a pumpkin pie on the counter and reaching for a knife to cut it. Another glance tells him that Yoongi’s argumentative nature’s been won over by the dessert, and he’s standing to help her serve 5 plates of it, shy smile peeking through.

“Thanks, Mom…” The woman grins, bumping him with her hip but not saying anything about the embarrassment on his face. She turns, holding two plates and gesturing toward the fridge while she heads for the living room.

“Grab the whipped cream on your way, will you, Hoseokie?” Hoseok almost drops the dirty plate he’s setting in the sink, all the hair on the back of his neck standing on end when he hears the name Y/n’s mom calls him. Y/n notices that he stills suddenly beside her, but before she can mention it, he’s blinking, the moment gone as he moves to the fridge with a smile.

The group migrates to the living room, Y/n’s mom taking the armchair by the tree while Y/n and Hoseok share the couch. Yoongi’s sitting on the floor with his legs crisscrossed, Hana seated comfortably in his lap. The plates of pie sit on the table next to Yoongi’s head, and he keeps glancing anxiously at them, like he’s wondering if he can sneak a bite without anyone noticing. Y/n’s mom’s voice rings out, and he knows he’s been caught.

“Not a chance, Yoongi -- presents first!” Rolling his eyes but nodding anyway, he turns his attention back to the group, where Y/n is passing out presents to everyone. The biggest ones always go to Hana, who seems very excited but is somehow even more enthused about finally giving everyone her own gifts, small trinkets she’d picked out with immense care during her school’s holiday field trip. Y/n has to stop herself from snapping a photo of Yoongi’s face when he unwraps a snake plushie, watching with amusement when he cradles it close to his chest, eyes full of adoration as he mouths "I love her" to the Gryffindor. Hana doesn’t even notice how dramatically sentimental he is, her short attention span having her already turning to Hoseok with a large smile and a small gift.

“This one’s for you, Hoseokie!” Hoseok chokes on his saliva, paling slightly when he hears that name again. Y/n picks up on it for sure this time, but she doesn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt his and Hana’s moment.

Hoseok takes the gift with shaking hands, masking whatever’s running through his mind with a shy smile.

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Hana -- thank you!” The girl watches with intense interest while he peels the wrapping paper off, revealing a pink ballpoint pen in the shape of a flower, explaining when he holds it up in the light.

“Y/n told me you liked flowers when I asked! Do you like it?” Hoseok smiles brightly, pressing down on the center of the flower with a quiet click and running the tip of the pen along the knuckle on his thumb to test the ink.

“I love it! I’ll use it every day!” Y/n smiles then, thinking how endearing he’ll look, using a pink ballpoint flower pen in a school that still standardizes quill and ink. But she knows he means it and won’t even think twice about using it. Hana beams up at him, but her eyes become curious almost immediately.

“But -- do you not like the name ‘Hoseokie’? You looked a little sad when I said it…” Y/n cringes, cursing the fact that her sister is both extremely observant and completely lacks a filter. She’s like the perfect mix of Hoseok and Yoongi, something that would be really funny if the situation hadn’t just gotten really uncomfortable.

Hoseok gapes at the girl, letting out a breath of laughter when she only tilts her head to the side curiously. It’s fine that he’d been caught -- it’s just a little embarrassing that it had happened here at Y/n’s family dinner, where he’d been trying to make a good impression and leave only good energy behind. With a slight sigh, he shakes his head to answer Hana’s question.

“I don’t not like ‘Hoseokie’ -- I actually really like it… it’s just--” He glances quickly at Y/n, feeling a bit awkward. “My little sister used to call me that…” Immediately, Y/n’s looking to Yoongi out of the corner of her eye, finding that he’s doing the same, the alarm in his eyes matching her own. Hoseok had never mentioned a sister.

“It’s a little… uncomfortable, so I feel bad…” Hoseok looks to Y/n’s mom then, watching carefully for her reaction when he continues. “My parents run an apiary -- they’re very big nature types, all about the ‘way of the natural world’ and stuff like that… that's why--" He cuts off, gesturing vaguely to the crown on the woman's head. That's why I know how to do this, he means. Clearing his throat, he continues. "So it didn’t really… go well… when I turned 11 and got the letter saying I was a wizard.” Y/n hears Yoongi inhale sharply from where he’s sitting, and she knows he’s putting the pieces together like she is.

When Hoseok sees that Y/n’s mom is watching him with a guarded expression, almost worried about where he’s going with him, he bites at the inside of his cheek nervously. Y/n had never explicitly said it, but he could tell the minute he walked into the house just a few hours ago that she’s also a muggleborn. Wizarding homes always show signs of magic -- dishes that wash themselves, hanging plants that can’t be found anywhere in the muggle world, that kind of thing. He hadn’t seen anything to give away a magical upbringing, almost shocked at how much Y/n’s home reminded him of his own childhood.

He can see now that the woman is glancing at her own daughter, and he knows what she’s thinking. Y/n and Hoseok are the same, but his world had been entirely different. He sees her making that connection, so he just decides to rip off the metaphorical band-aid and finish explaining.

“My parents didn’t want something ‘unnatural’ living in the house, influencing their innocent daughter, so they kicked me out. Agreed to help me pay for an apartment and bills as long as I promised to never reach out to them for anything else -- Dumbledore helped me out the first few summers, let me stay on the grounds since I wasn’t old enough to be on my own. I moved into a place not far from here when I turned 15.”

He’s got his eyes screwed shut now, terrified of the pity he’s going to find when he opens them again. It’s too quiet, and he feels his ears warming, knowing that it looks like he’s been thrown away, discarded. He doesn’t feel that way, having accepted his situation when he was still young -- having decided to accept his situation because it was better than being bitter. But he knows what people will see when they find out, so he’d gone to great lengths to hide it. Because he doesn’t need pity, he’s happy as he is.

While he’s thinking of how to ease everyone’s tension, he’s completely unprepared for the arms that wrap around his neck. Cracking his eyes open, he realizes these arms are quite small, that the person hugging him is quite small.

“Will you come back for family dinner every year?” Hana’s question is muffled in his neck, but the words have his heart stuttering because he really hadn’t been expecting this. Glancing quickly at Y/n, he finds that the pity he’d been preparing for isn’t there. She looks completely heartbroken, her eyes shining with unshed tears, but more than anything she looks mad.

She blinks it away when they make eye contact, and she nods while reaching for his hand. He’s not sure what she’s nodding at, and he gets the feeling she doesn’t know either, but he takes it as her understanding. Understanding that he doesn’t want to talk about it further, understanding what he’d meant in the forest that day about being happy alone.

Just past Y/n, Yoongi’s standing from his spot on the floor with a groan and a crack of his spine. He moves for Hana, who’s still clinging to Hoseok’s neck.

“Of course he’ll be back, Monkey. He’s not goin’ anywhere.” It’s said so simply, without any particular feeling to guide it, but Hoseok’s so immensely grateful for Min Yoongi in that moment. Not only because he hadn’t changed at all in the way he’d looked at Hoseok -- his eyes are still even and calm, if not laced with slightest bit of emotion when their gazes lock -- but because Hoseok had just received clear and direct approval from the one person in Y/n’s life that he’d been most nervous about.

It’s one thing to be nervous about family or the entirety of her friend group -- those things are normal. Min Yoongi is not normal, not to Y/n. He’s the only person that knows Y/n better than she knows herself, and Hoseok hadn’t even realized just how terrified he’d been that Yoongi wouldn’t accept him suddenly appearing in Y/n’s life the way he had. But he sees now, while Yoongi is slowly peeling Hana off of him and carrying her to the staircase, claiming that it’s ‘way past her bedtime’, that Yoongi’s just let him in. The girl waves goodnight to the rest of the group, almost immediately sleepy now that Yoongi's carrying her to bed.

When Hoseok looks to Y/n, eyes wide with surprise, he sees that she’s noticed Yoongi's behavior, too. Because she’s got her eyes closed, but she’s smiling fondly, like the telltale signs of Yoongi’s respect have finally revealed themselves, decidedly giving Hoseok his stamp of approval.

He’s so busy reveling in the fact that he’d just gotten all the reactions to his life story that he’d been expecting the least that he barely feels Y/n’s mom set a hand on his shoulder when she stands. He looks up now, taking in her kind eyes, and he thinks she’s going to say something sentimental, but--

“I like you a whole lot more than I liked Jungkook.” Hoseok’s jaw drops, and Y/n’s scoffing loudly beside him.

“Mom!” The woman smiles, leaving the two them there on the couch while she grabs the plates of pie, mumbling something about ‘needing to pack Noodle Arms a plate to go’ before heading into the kitchen. Hoseok can do nothing but laugh when he looks to Y/n, who’s still completely scandalized by her mom’s comment.

“I can’t tell if I should feel highly approved of, or just regularly approved of since Jungkook is apparently low on the Family Opinions list.” Y/n nudges him with her elbow playfully, and they sit there quietly together on the couch for a moment. He finds himself reaching out to brush his fingers across her knee insecurely.

“You know, you don’t have to feel bad for me. I really am okay -- I said it before, but I just… I’ve been okay not having anyone. It never really haunted me or hurt me or anything I’m sure you’d expect an abandoned child to feel. I just… took the bad with the good and decided to focus on the happy moments of my childhood because, believe it or not, I had a lot of them. It’s just easier to remember my parents as they were before, so that’s what I do.” Y/n nods slowly when he’s done, feeling a lot of things but wondering if maybe it’s not her place to say it. He sees it anyway, because he sees everything.

“You’re angry. That they left me.” Y/n glances at him quickly, wondering if he’s upset at all -- this is such a delicate subject, and she doesn’t know if she’s allowed to feel this mad for him. But he’s smiling, like he can tell she’d been trying to hide it and he’s finding her incredibly endearing for it. She purses her lips and nods shyly, confirming his suspicions.

“That they left you… yes. But I’m angry that they kept your sister from you.” It’d been obvious in the way Hoseok had talked about his parents that he’d become purposely detached from them, that he’d accepted the situation and doesn’t feel any certain way about them. But the name -- ‘Hoseokie’ -- it had set him on edge in a way she’d never seen in this carefree, sunny boy before. His sister’s a sore spot, probably the one thing that hurts most. His smile tells her everything she needs to know, because she’s never once seen him smile bitterly. And yet there it is, forcing his dimples to make an appearance in a way that isn’t as heartwarming as it usually is.

“The last time I saw her, she was Hana’s age… she probably looks so different now.” If a person could physically deflate into nothingness, Y/n would have successfully done it. Hoseok can’t help but snicker, the image of Y/n almost melting into the couch too endearing.

“I -- I can’t even imagine… not knowing what Hana will look like in a few years.” It breaks her heart all over again, the way Hoseok nods, because he knows exactly what that feels like. But he refuses to dwell on it, clapping his hands down on his knees decisively and shaking Y/n from her stupor with the noise.

“Spend New Year’s Eve with me!” Y/n’s brain stalls, trying to process what he’d just said. He waits patiently, smiling while she switches mental gears and catches up to him.

“Huh? I mean -- sure? Yes? But, huh?” He laughs under his breath, finding her confusion almost obnoxiously cute.

“I’ve never had anyone to spend it with. Now that I do… I really want to spend it with you.” Y/n swallows hard, wondering where these butterflies in her stomach are coming from -- maybe it’s the way he’s watching her, eyes curious as he waits for her reaction. She only nods, suddenly very shy under his gaze.

“I’d love to, Hoseok…” He warms at how low her voice is, and now he’s the one feeling shy, pressing his palms into his thighs and staring down at his lap. They’re quiet for a moment, the soft crackling from the fireplace filling the silence, until--

“Oh, just kiss already!” They both turn quickly toward the voice, finding Yoongi standing at the bottom of the staircase, a look of disgust filling his face. He shakes his head when they gape at him, going so far as to wave his hand quickly, his palm passing through the air with intent. “Look, I even helped.” He’s looking at the space above their heads, and when she and Hoseok follow his eyes, they find a piece of mistletoe growing from the ceiling, hanging down between them.

Y/n groans in annoyance while Hoseok sits there, blushing brightly at Yoongi’s forwardness. As if to make things worse for him, Y/n’s mom enters the room again then, noticing the mistletoe right away as she’s handing the comically large stack of to-go containers over to Yoongi.

“Oh, cute! Did they kiss?” She looks at Yoongi when she asks, and he shakes his head in disappointment -- Hoseok gets the feeling they’re enjoying pretending he and Y/n aren’t right here when they start snickering in unison.

“Well, I gotta go--” Yoongi stops to glare at Y/n when she looks at him knowingly, eyebrows raised. Hoseok wonders if maybe this is about the messages she’d seen on the Slytherin’s phone earlier. “-- but I’ll catch you guys later. Happy Christmas, nerds!” With that he’s heading for the entryway, and Hoseok can hear him bickering with Y/n’s mom all the way to the door.

“Yes, I brought my coat--”

“You don’t have a hat! I’m sure they make hats for big-headed people, too--”

“That is so offensive on so many levels--”

“I’ll just have to make you one myself--”

“Mom! Stop working so hard, I promise I’ll go buy a damn hat!”

“Don’t you take that tone with me, Big-Head!”

--

“I got us takeout!” It’s the first thing she says when Hoseok opens the door to his apartment, emphasized by the large bag she’s shaking in his face with enthusiasm. He pokes his head around it, smiling brightly at her.

“I also got us takeout!” Lowering her bag in surprise, she follows Hoseok into the small studio when he beckons her in, slipping her shoes off at the door as she looks to the kitchenette, where an equally large bag of food sits. She only looks to Hoseok, dumbfounded, and she finds he’s giving her the same look.

“How are we gonna eat all this--”

“No idea.” Y/n snorts when he looks between their two bags, face deadpan as he reaches for hers and sets it on the table beside his. He looks at them for a moment longer, finally speaking.

“Did we get takeout from the same place?” Y/n hangs her head with a groan when she realizes the bags look exactly the same. When she looks up again, he’s heading for the cabinets to get plates, his shoulders shaking with laughter. It’s infectious, and soon she’s shaking her head, turning to look around the apartment while she laughs openly. Her breath is cut short almost immediately when she looks at the living area.

“Holy plants.” Hoseok glances over to where she’s looking, a nervous laugh leaving him.

“Too much?” To put it simply, they’re everywhere. Floor plants, hanging plants, windowsill plants -- everywhere. There’s even a massive plant overtaking the table next to his bed in the corner, not an inch of space for him to put anything else. She feels like she just walked into a jungle.

“Your air must be really clean…” Hoseok laughs loudly, not having expected that to be her one assessment of his plant collection.

“You’re lucky I haven’t covered the couch in plants, too -- where are we gonna sit to watch TV?” As if the universe has decided to test him at this very moment in time for absolutely no reason other than to make him suffer, the apartment goes dark with the booming sound of the entire room powering down.

Hoseok barely manages to hold in his groan when he hears Y/n turn in his direction in the dark.

“I wasn’t watching anything good on TV these days, anyway.”

--

“Come on, come on -- where are they--”

“Hoseok, it’s fine--”

“I swear I had candles--”

“Hoseok--”

“Aha!” He pokes his head up from where he’s crouched by the closet, holding a stack of small candles triumphantly. Y/n’s sitting at the dining table, having cast lumos long ago and unpacked their copious amounts of food with nothing but the light of her wand. She’s smiling at him fondly now as he shows her the candles.

“Are you feeling better now?” Hoseok lowers his candles, sending her a sheepish smile as he rises to his feet and moves to join her at the table. He’d immediately started apologizing to her when the power had gone out, thrown into a panicked rush to fix things as he flitted around his apartment. She’d tried to reassure him that everything was okay, but he’d still felt really bad for messing up their night.

“I’m sorry, Y/n… I told my parents that I’m still in school until the spring, but I don’t think they heard that part when they said they were gonna stop helping me pay for stuff after graduation… I’ve been applying for jobs all year, but they just don’t really start accepting people until they see our NEWT results and transcripts and stuff, so--”

“Hobi.” He stops at the nickname, realizing when she levels him with a hard stare that he’s devolving into anxious rambling again. She reaches across the table, taking his hands in hers.

“Stop apologizing, Hobi. This isn’t your fault, and you haven’t ruined anything. I promise.” He’s slow to nod, but eventually he accepts her words, seeing how insistent she is.

“I do have one question, though.” He blinks, humming curiously when she continues and wondering what she’s going to say. “Do you… have spare blankets? Because it’s going to get very cold in here very fast.”

--

“I don’t think I want to eat anything ever again.”

“Mmm… Mmmm…”

“So you agree.”

“Mhm… Mmm…” Hoseok throws his head back against the couch, completely unable to form words after the meal they’d just had. Y/n snorts, nodding as she gets used to his various sounds of exhaustion.

“Me too, Hobi.” They sit there quietly for only a moment before Hoseok is lifting his head, urgent. Y/n looks at him, wondering what’s happening in his head when he turns to her, face deadpan yet again.

“I bought us ice cream on my way home with the food.” Immediately, she’s groaning, and he joins her in flopping around on his couch dramatically. Y/n takes a moment through her food-induced haze to appreciate their little setup.

The candles are set strategically on his coffee table and counters, clear of any plants because the last thing they need tonight is a fire. She’d been right in assuming it’d get cold, and they’d eventually stopped trying to manage with small blankets, dragging his comforter right off the bed and curling up together beneath it as they ate dinner. She can’t even recall what they’d talked about, the entire thing a confused fog from the food.

She knows they’d been giddy the whole time, on a weird high from the collection of ridiculous things that had happened in the first five minutes of her being here. That, along with the sheer amount of food and the wine Hoseok had pulled out for them, ended up creating nonstop laughter over the smallest things. She’s comfortable here, never having experienced a bubble of quiet happiness like this. She feels no pressure and she’s worried about nothing -- everything had fallen away when she’d walked in the door, the rest of the world blocked out from this safe space, here with Hoseok in his apartment.

“Oh! It’s almost midnight!” Hoseok’s squinting at his phone in the dark before showing her the screen -- 11:55pm. She glances at her own phone, sitting peacefully on the table in front of them, and she hates that the only thing she can think of is Jungkook. She’s scared that this period of silence between them will have done nothing, that as soon as the new year starts, he’s going to be back to badgering her constantly. She just wants everything to return to normal, and she’s scared that she only has five minutes left before that dream falls apart.

“Hey… Where’d you go just now?” Blinking, she sees that Hoseok’s peering at her, brow furrowed in concern. His phone toggles when he moves closer to her, a small pout set in his features, and the screen lights up again. 11:57pm. She hates that, after such a good night, it had taken only this to have them both frowning. She hates it.

“I just… I really just want all of this to be normal again. I want Jungkook to be normal again. I want the new year to be something good again, and I’m terrified it won’t be. I just want to forget everything bad from this year and start fresh.” She rolls her eyes at herself, hating that she’s ranting to Hoseok about her love life again, when they’d just wanted to have a nice New Year’s Eve together. But his mind is elsewhere, a thought crossing his mind suddenly. He checks his phone again. 11:59pm.

“Maybe I can help with that?” Y/n looks to him when he says it, confused.

“What do you mean?” He blinks, trying to decide if he’s really going to do this. The nervous feeling building in his stomach is somehow telling him this is a bad and good idea. He turns to her quickly.

“With that fresh start… forgetting the bad from this year… Maybe I can help…?” Y/n’s not sure what he means, but she doesn’t see why she would say no. Hoseok’s never done anything but help, even when he doesn’t realize it. If anyone’s going to help her forget, it’s him.

So she nods, waiting for him to explain. And then she’s gasping, because he’s leaning in, and she can see even in the dim lighting that he’s looking at her lips -- that he’s going to kiss her.

He pauses for a second to give her time to push him away. When she doesn’t, he’s glancing up and finding that she’s looking at him nervously, her gaze flicking back and forth between his eyes and his mouth. With a small inhale, he lets his eyes drift shut, closing the gap between them carefully.

Y/n’s not even sure she’s kissing him back -- she’s too focused on the feeling of his lips on her, how gentle he’s being as he applies just the slightest pressure to her mouth with his own. But she must be kissing him back, because he’s responding to something, his lips pressing harder when he feels her reciprocating.

It’s only one kiss, one that he pulls back from slowly after a moment, their breaths mingling warmly in the small space he’s created. Neither of them makes a move, eyes hooded and noses brushing in his dark apartment as they try to make sense of this haze long enough to figure out if this has really just happened. If Hoseok’s really just kissed her on New Year’s Eve.

And then her phone is lighting up on the table, celebratory texts from her friends pouring in, and they turn at the same time to glance at the screen. 12:00am.

Hoseok turns back to her then, eyes searching hers for something -- he’s not really sure what it is, but when a shy smile starts to dance at the edges of her lips, he knows he’s found it.

“Happy New Year, Y/n.”

[lostgreekgod]

delusion: part 2

"a/n: hello, hello! cant say i didnt sniffle a little writing this one.

words: 6539 (the word limit kind of faded away as i got emotional)

pairing: loki x f!reader

warnings: angst, but ends with fluff. but a lot of angst. mentions of death, blood, and fingers. and dead bodies. and hypnotism?

another a/n: thanks to @theaudacitytowrite for this little adventure. cant say I wont miss it.

tagging all those who requested for a part 2: @karushinekomiya @midnights-ramblings @savoryloki

read part 1 here!

37 minutes. That’s how long it took for y/n to have her soul crushed. Not crushed, ripped, and trampled all over repeatedly, until her very essence was terminated, until she was nothing but a bag of bones, muscles, and blood. She fell back into her bed as she watched Loki leave her. Forever. She didn’t matter to the god. Of course she didn’t. why did she ever believe that she would be of any importance to him? A mighty god like Loki, a literal prince! What was some simple Midgardian to a being of such alleviated status? y/n felt something trail down her cheek. She was crying. 4 years, 3 months, and 27 days of not one tear- not even when her parents left her to rot- and it took only 37 minutes for her ex-lover to have her eyes release such a foreign substance. She wasn’t even sobbing, just one lonesome tear trailed past her cheekbone, just one tear that contained all her anger, sadness, and pain. She wished she could cry harder. She wished she could cry her eyes dry, and just spontaneously combust while she was at it.

“Okay since the door is open, I’m assuming you guys aren’t doing anything that will scar me for life-“

Nat. Of all those times she could walk into y/n’s room, she picked today. She faltered as she took in the image of y/n sprawled on the bed, staring at the ceiling and into nothingness.

“y/n?” she whispered as she reached for her friend. Her blood froze as she took in y/n’s face. Pale, like a corpse. y/n still hadn’t acknowledged Natasha’s presence. Gently shaking y/n’s shoulder, Natasha called her name again. Nothing. Was she even breathing? Natasha began to panic. Her only friend- aside from Wanda- What ever happened? y/n was fine when she left training a while ago-

“Nat,” came y/n’s voice, a gentle, hoarse whisper.

Rushing to her side, Nat brushed her hair away from her face. “y/n, what happened?”

Finally, y/n met Natasha’s eyes. The pain was so evident in them, just bared out for the whole world to see. Vulnerable, weak. Natasha had never seen y/n like this. The y/n she knew was strong, so strong.

“y/n,” she breathed, “talk to me.”

“He left me.” Her voice cracked, almost as if it wanted to match with the likeliness of her cracked heart.

“What? Right now?”

y/n nodded, not trusting her voice. If only she could find a release for that awful swell in her throat.

“Hours before a mission?” Natasha could have slapped herself for blurting out something so insensitive. Here laid her friend, literally looking like death, and she was worried about a mission. Sure, they had 4 lives to save, but what good was a near-dead agent in a rescue operation?

Natasha had initially come over to y/n’s room for last-minute mission prep. Yes, they had about 2 hours left for the mission, but she could never be too careful with anything.

“Would you like me to leave you alone?”

y/n simply continued to stare at the ceiling. Natasha wished she could see what she was thinking. Although she looked like death, Natasha couldn’t help but notice how she had cried just one tear. Anyone could tell that she needed a while to collect herself. Natasha decided to step out, probably approach Fury and issue a last-minute change of plan. She could take Clint and Peter. Not the best replacement, but she could have Peter go in and look for the agents, while she placed Clint at a farther position, as backup for Peter.

“Stay.” y/n breathed out when Natasha began to retract her arms away.

Perhaps Natasha could stay and provide her friend some support, just for a few minutes. She felt awful about how she couldn’t help more, but this was the most she could do at the moment. ‘Missions first, personal problems next. What are you a hero for?’ as Fury would say. Natasha thought of Loki. How she wished she could knee him in the groin and then cause him a slow painful death.

“Coming up with a plan for murder?” y/n asked, somewhat with a hint of amusement in her voice.

Looking up at y/n’s face, Natasha relished the little smile on her face. Heartbroken as y/n was, she was still alive.

“You know me so well.” She snickered.

“Don’t bother Nat. He doesn’t deserve it.” Lies. Although y/n really wished to let Nat murder Loki, her love for him outdid that need.

“y/n, as much as I would like to stay with you like this, I’m afraid I have work to do. I need to find replacements so the mission can still-“

y/n’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? Replacements?”

“Yes, you obviously cannot go on a mission in this state. I mean, have you seen yourself?”

No. No, no, no. The mission was the only distraction she was counting on. If she stayed behind, she would probably end up doing something she never once thought she would.

“I want to come, Nat. I’m fully capable of fighting today.”

“y/n, think about this. Loki- “ Nat paused, concern refilling her when y/n flinched at his name. Rephrasing, she tried again, “he’s going to be there too, and we cannot risk any mistakes.”

“Nat. you know me. You know how I am. Would I let a little squabble in my personal life come in the way of my work?” y/n was probably lying again, she didn’t know how she could manage being in close proximity with the same person who managed to suck out her very soul, but it was so much better than the alternative. If y/n was deemed unfit for the mission, she would have to spend a day doing nothing, and that was not something she was looking forward to.

“Let me partake in the mission, Nat. I promise ill be okay. I just needed a few moments to collect myself.” y/n added a little smile at the end, hoping she could have Natasha fooled into believing that she was fine.

Gauging her response, Natasha studied y/n’s face for a moment. It was obvious she was lying, but Natasha knew better. She had to let y/n do this. Nodding, she relented.

“Promise you’ll be okay?” she asked, squeezing y/n’s shoulder once before standing up.

“Promise.”

//

He still had 2 hours to burn. 2 hours before he set out on a mission with the person he loved, aka the person whose heart he broke. Once her best friend, Natasha Romanoff found out, she’d probably come straight up to his room to kill him. He would have laughed if he was capable of feeling anything at the moment. He laid in his bed. The mattress was cold, hard, empty. Not even an hour since he left y/n for good, and he was already missing her. Her soft body flush against his chest, as he inhaled her chocolaty scent. The little sighs she subconsciously let out when he wrapped his arms around her. The little twitch in her lips when he whispered something in her ear. It was too late before he realized what he was doing. His heart stopped as his mind screamed at him, you can’t think of her! You don’t deserve to think about her, let alone lay next to her!

Inhaling deeply, he curled up into a ball. How he wished he was someone else. If it weren’t for his past, he and y/n could have lived one of the sweetest lives. Sure, she was a Midgardian, he would still figure out a way to keep her with him forever. If only.

“Top of the morning to you, brother!” Thor’s voice bellowed. Loki groaned internally. It seems, while he was in the middle of his self-deterioration, he forgot to lock his room door.

“What’s gotten you so sullen?” Would he simply leave if Loki didn’t respond?

“Brother. Hello.” Thor said again, shaking Loki’s shoulders. Clearly, he was unaware of Loki’s mental state- but then again, Loki was always like this with everyone. Except his y/n. His y/n? Nope, not anymore. Just y/n.

“Thor.” Loki said, finally acknowledging his cheery brother’s presence.

“Ah, finally. It seems to be getting harder every day to obtain a response from you, brother, hence I must ask- is everything alright?”

Loki wanted to laugh. Hysterically. So, he did. Slow laughter built up in his throat, and before he knew it, his laughter boomed all the way from his stomach. Cold, dry laughter that would run chills up one’s bones. When was the last time he had laughed like this? Out of sorrow? Out of spite for himself?

“Whoa. Am I dreaming? I have never seen you laugh like this, brother. I am now very concerned for you.” Came Thor’s voice, causing Loki’s laughter to die down. Laughter is supposed to make people feel better, right? But the feeling in Loki’s stomach would prove that otherwise. I do not deserve to laugh.

“To what do I owe your presence, dear brother?” Loki was surprised his voice sounded so collected. Almost as if he didn’t just take someone’s heart and stomp all over it. His heart churned as he remembered what he had done. He just wanted to lay in bed and sob.

“It is mission day, brother! We must prepare!” Thor bellowed; his previous question forgotten.

“As it is. Leave. I shall arrive at the quinjet in due time.” Loki hoped Thor didn’t hear how his voice wavered in the slightest.

“Brother- “

“Leave, Thor,” he breathed, his voice cracking at the slightest, “I beg of you.” Maybe Thor didn’t sense the wavering earlier, but he definitely caught this. Besides, Loki never begged.

“What did you do, Loki?” Thor asked gently. It now dawned on him why Loki crawled into a ball. Since they were children, Thor had seen how he would do that every time something had hurt his heart.

Loki scoffed at how Thor questioned his deeds. Of course, Thor would suspect him of some wrongdoing. It was never ‘What happened, Loki?’. Just the accusatory, ‘What did you do now?’. Although, this time, it was his fault. All his fault. Monster.

“y/n,” he said.

“y/n? What happened to y/n?” Loki could feel the sudden anger surge in him. Big, ugly anger- filled with resentment for himself. Why won’t Thor leave him alone? Why can’t he just leave, leave Loki to rot in his room?

“I broke her heart, Thor. I took it, trampled all over it, and left her to scavenge for the shattered bits. Is that enough? Or would you like me to tell you more? Leave, Thor. Leave me alone. I will report at the quinjet for the mission soon.”

Thor realized Loki’s predicament. He knew a situation like this might arise sooner or later, but he hadn’t expected it to occur at such an intensity. His little brother had only begun to experience the joys of love, of living, he had just begun to heal, and his demons were eating at him already.

Sighing, Thor began. “Loki. Look at me.” When Loki didn’t respond, Thor forced him to face him and meet his eyes.

“I may not have a clue about how you deal with most things, but I do know what you are feeling right now, brother. I have known you for many millennia, and no matter how clever and secretive you are, I can always tell how you feel. You feel undeserving of y/n, am I correct?”

Loki inhaled sharply at Thor’s accurate judgment. Was he so predictable?

Almost as if reading his mind, Thor continued, “You aren’t predictable, dear brother. In fact, you are far from it. But it wouldn’t take a fool to see how you feel about y/n. We all see how you look at her, Loki. Like you love her. Like you would do anything for her. But what you don’t realize is that we also see how she looks at you. She loves you, regardless of your scars, your past; she loves you for your heart- she loves you for you, Loki. Anyone who’s incapable of seeing that is simply an ignorant idiot.” Loki’s eyes widened at Thor’s revelation. y/n loved him regardless of what he had done in New York. She loved him, not because he was a god or a prince, but because he was him. Because he was Loki. How could he have been so blind? He wanted to smack himself for being so naïve & insecure. He should have just talked about it to y/n, like she always suggested. ‘Talk to me if you have a problem, Loki. It’s what all couples do. They support each other,’ she had said to him once.

“It isn’t too late. It never is. You can always fix it. Do you understand?” Thor said, bringing Loki back from his thoughts.

Loki needed to sit down and think, and Thor shaking him to elicit a response to his monologue wasn’t really helping.

“Are you done, brother?” Loki asked, his voice and face still monotonous. He needed time with himself. Besides, he never responded to Thor in any other manner. To break that ritual now was to sin.

Thor, however, couldn’t see past Loki’s monotony. Sighing, he said, “I hope you think of my words, Loki. You need y/n, as much as she needs you. Come to terms with that for yourself.”

\\

“Based on what we can tell, they’re going to ask us for the hard drive before they give us Agents Samson, Waller, Bryson, and Stevens- so we’re going to have to stay on our toes,” Hill began, Natasha and y/n listening on intently. Loki wasn’t anywhere to be found, but then he hardly attended the briefings. He simply read case files and had a pretty good idea of what was to be done. “Natasha will be our front. She will deliver the drive, while y/n and Loki go in search of the agents. We need to ensure that we find our men before the decryption of the drive.” She said, looking back at her tablet.

Just then, Loki walked in, looking as pristine and collected as ever. As if he wasn’t running on sleep from a day ago, as if he didn’t have a broken heart weighing him down. y/n’s anger surged. It was infuriating how he wasn’t affected even to the littlest. She put on her mask of indifference perfectly. Last night didn’t happen. Loki was simply her coworker, and she was going to have this mission take place perfectly.

“Um, Agent Hill? Is it possible for me to take Agent Romanoff’s position?” y/n’s voice rang before Hill could give further instructions. Loki noticed how y/n looked calm and ready. Ready, to pounce like the lioness she was. She didn’t acknowledge his presence. Usually, when they met up at briefings, she’d give him the tiniest of smiles, but the sparkle in her eyes would speak more than what they could converse in a lifetime. That one moment always made his morning. He wouldn’t deny the sting he felt in his chest when she asked Agent Hill to change her position.

Agent Hill looked into her tablet and frowned. “I’m sorry Agent y/l/n, but this is the best way we can proceed while ensuring minimal casualties. Loki’s seidr, accompanied by your stealth will help in a faster rescue. Not many people are capable of resisting Natasha’s sweet-talking, so it is best for her to be on the receiving end of the exchange.” she said, winking at Natasha; grinning as Nat returned the wink. “And guys, a quick note. We don’t know these people; we don’t know how they work. If in case shit goes down, call for backup. We’ll be in ASAP. You have a 60-minute time bridge to be in and out. If you’re not out by then, we’re coming in. Understood?”

Quickly sheathing her disappointment, y/n nodded in agreement, “Affirmative, ma’am.” It seemed as if she had to face him after all. But no matter, she reminded herself. I am a hero. An Avenger. My people before myself.

//

“Alright guys, let's move in. I will enter through the main, you both through the back doors. Wait for my signal, and as soon as you receive it, go. Do not waste your time. I assume you have memorized the floor plans?” Natasha asked, putting a gun into her thigh holster. y/n nodded as Loki simply stared.

“Go on then, good luck.”

Loki used his magic to put some sort of cloaking around himself and y/n as they walked quietly towards the backdoors of the abandoned silo. The rival organization had set up a temporary location there for the exchange, and their current invisibility enabled them to walk comfortably.

Loki took a deep breath. It was unwise to have a conversation, nevertheless an intimate one during a stealth mission, but he had to talk to her. Let her know that he was sorry.

“y/n, I have to talk to you about earlier,” he began, looking for a reaction in her.

He waited for a moment. Several moments.

“y/n.” he tried again.

Nothing. Not even a flicker of emotion in her.

“I’m sor- “

“Don’t. Don’t for one second, think you can talk to me. Not after what you did.” She sneered at him, fresh fury blazing in her eyes like Greek fire. Loki flinched at her sudden reaction. He never flinched. “You do not get to talk to me after I bared myself open to you like I did, only to have you scoff at me, and deem me worthless.”

y/n was now angry with herself. It enraged her how Loki was able to elicit such a response from her with 3 mere sentences. She had to stay more collected. Ignorance, she decided. The best choice of weapons.

Loki decided to attempt again later. He could not give up on his love. He could still hear Thor telling him about how he could fix it. Loki used his seidr to pick the lock on the back door. So far, they couldn’t see anyone. No snipers, no guards, nothing. He ignored the chills that ran up his back.

y/n had her gun at the ready. It didn’t matter if they were invisible, there could be heat sensors. She wasn’t going to let the little kerfuffle from a few minutes ago faze her. Her skin rose in goosebumps as she sensed the eerie silence. Something was wrong.

On Natasha’s command, they moved in, both walking on guard in perfect formation. y/n in front of Loki, with her gun out, while Loki stayed behind her with his daggers in his hands. They walked around each other in perfect sync as they scanned their surroundings. They moved past the pitch-dark corridors as y/n tried to look for signs of an ambush. So far, they had to have encountered at least a few guards. The plan was to silently take them out as they continued to look for the kidnapped agents. y/n looked back at Loki and turned away before he could make eye contact with her. His heart pumped steadily, his blood filling with adrenaline in response to the suspicious silence. They approached another door, and based on the floor plans, they had to go through the room ahead. The only problem was that it was a very big, and possibly empty one. Some sort of a torture chamber, y/n figured, from the lack of furniture and other basic things. She cracked the door open. A single chair. That’s all she found in the center of the room. Was that blood? y/n’s muscles froze as she noticed the table with numerous surgical tools- no, torture devices. A little knife-like object laid in a steel tray, covered in blood. And fingers. So many fingers. y/n gasped at the image in front of her. The junior agents had been tortured in the very room they were in. She looked around for active cameras. 4 in each corner of the room. She was thankful for the invisibility curtain Loki’s magic was able to provide. Suddenly, Loki was tapping at her shoulder, trying to get her attention. He frantically pointed at a bundle in the corner of the room. White sheets. Drenched in blood. She moved towards it slowly. Please don’t be what I think it is. Please.

Uncovering the flimsy cotton, her eyes widened. “The Agents.” She breathed, meeting Loki’s eyes. He looked as mortified as she did. All four of them were dead. Tortured, left to bleed out slowly. It’s a trap. y/n realized, her blood curdling up. Only then did she notice the tripwire around the sheets. We’ve been tricked.

“y/n!” came Nat’s voice in her earpiece. “y/n- it’s a t-t-trap! Crack. G-get out of t-there! N-n-now Crack. R-r-rendezvous at-t b-back- Crack.” not even the static in Nat’s transmission could have left them confused about what they had gotten into.

In a blink, there were lights, everywhere. Red lights, lasers, sirens, noise resonating all over. They had been spotted.

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here,” Came a deep, cold voice from behind them. A man in a white coat, followed by a woman who seemed like an assistant- who was followed by at least a dozen men who looked like SWAT agents, except they had much more brandished weapons. The 2 doors in the room shut with a bang, leaving Loki and y/n trapped; with 4 dead agents, and the many people who probably wanted them dead- but not before having their fun.

“Agent y/n, and Loki, the God of Mischief.” He sneered at them.

y/n pointed her gun at him while Loki drew out his daggers and flipped them. That would have had y/n swooning on a good day, but not today.

“The one and only,” Loki stated. “Now let us through, or it will be the end of our short-timed pleasantries.” he sneered, adrenaline flooding in his veins, causing his green irises to turn almost completely black.

“Now, now. There’s no reason to be so hostile,” the man said, his mouth twisting into some crooked sort of smile. “After all, I am sure you do not have the capability to fight past all of my soldiers.”

He was right. Loki’s seidr could probably take out a few, and y/n’s ammunition a few more, but not before they were electrocuted or whatever those hi-tech weapons were capable of. She needed to contact backup. And fast.

“Let us out, unworthy scum. We’ve given you the intel anyway.”

“Behave, Agent y/n. Do you really think I’m stupid enough to fall for a corrupted drive?”

Loki wanted to smash his teeth in. How dare he talk to his beloved like that?

“And you are?” y/n asked the man, changing the subject and trying to stall him. The drive plan had failed, which meant that Natasha could be in trouble. Besides, they needed to come up with a new plan to get out without any more trouble. Not even 10 minutes in, and they were already cornered.

“Fred. I am also a doctor.” The grey-haired man said. y/n would have laughed if she wasn’t already upset and running on almost no sleep.

“.. your name is Fred?” she asked, silently trying to reach for her walkie.

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

“No, but I was expecting something more ... traditional. Something that would suit that malice in your eyes a little better,” She stalled. “Something more Russian. You look very Russian.”

All Loki could do was stare at y/n with a prideful smile when he realized what she was trying to do. His little lioness, so daring and clever.

Grinning like a madman, Fred turned to his assistant. “I like this one. Although, what’s all this about being Russian? I just don’t get it.”

y/n would have responded if not for the dart in her neck.

“Hey!” she felt the poison running through her veins in no time. Her sight faltered, her own voice sounding distorted.

“No!” Rang Loki’s panicked voice. His heart fought against his ribcage. What had he done? If only he hadn’t gestured at the bundle, if only he told y/n it was better to leave the moment they spotted it. They knew the junior agents were dead the moment they saw it, what was the need for him to have y/n uncover the sheets?

“Don’t worry, Mr. Laufeyson. It is only a sedative. Your girlfriend will be fine.” The doctor chortled.

It was now y/n’s turn to freak out. “How did ... how did you…” she mumbled; her eyes widening at the colors that brimmed in her vision. Her heart calmed to a surprising rate, a sloppy smile on her lips as she sank onto the floor.

“Please, Agent y/n. Like I said, I’m not stupid. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice the way you look at each other?”

Thor’s voice rang in Loki’s ear. ‘It wouldn’t take a fool to see how you feel about y/n, Loki.’ He would have smiled if it weren’t for their current state.

“Mmm,” y/n hummed. Understandable, she wanted to say. “Un- un- under the sea.” She managed, with a goofy smile and a giggle bubbling from her chest.

Chuckling at y/n, the doctor said, “I’ll see you soon, Mr. Laufeyson.”

That was all Loki heard before everything went black.

//

He gasped loudly as he woke up. Where was he? He scanned his surroundings and realized he was in a lab-like settlement. No doors, just 2 bullet-proof glass windows behind which a number of doctors and agents stood. Along with Fred. His heart sped up as he took in y/n. Strapped onto a bed with numerous wires attached to her head. She was still unconscious from the sedative. He pulled at his arms only to notice he was shacked to the walls.

“Nice of you to finally join us, Mr. Laufeyson!” Loki heard a cheery voice through the speakers. “Shall we begin?” Fred asked, pausing for a few moments as Loki realized he was waiting for a response.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his mind numb. How was he going to get out? Where was Agent Romanoff?

“Ah, so glad you asked. This nice lady here,” he gestured, “is Doctor May. She specializes in hypnotism.”

What did they need a hypnotist for? If they were planning to hypnotize Loki, they were in for a disappointment because that really wouldn’t work on him.

Looking at Loki’s expression, the doctor smiled. “Don’t worry, it's not for you! It's for our dear y/n here! Doctor May here has so skillfully come up with a serum that we can test on y/n. We’re going to turn her against you, watch an epic battle- to the death; and if she survives, hooray! We’ll have her rejuvenate and train before using her to infiltrate SHIELD!” he cooed. His tone did not go with the threats he was spewing. "Oh, I also forgot to mention, we're giving her superstrength, just for the sake of it. see what happens."

Loki’s blood turned to ice. “What if she doesn’t survive?” he asked, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“Oh well, if she doesn’t, we’ll harvest your powers and whatnot! But not to mention we will be very disappointed in her.” The doctor said, frowning playfully.

Loki’s chest seemed to cramp up onto itself. He tried to pick the locks on his cuffs with his seidr.

“Did you really think we’d let you have seidr while in captivity? Gosh, SHIELD. Keep thinking I’m stupid. See what that does for you.” Fred mumbled, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“No! No. Fred. You do not want to do this,” His silver tongue was the only thing he could rely on now. He couldn’t let them hurt his y/n. Ignoring the sweat running down the side of his head, he donned a sweet smile and crooned, “let her go. I am far more powerful than she is. If you release her, I promise to submit to you, causing you no difficulty. My seidr and my other strengths. All yours. I will give you any intel you need.” He promised, his nerves slightly betraying him. That’s it. Take the offer, Fred. Let y/n go. It’s my fault she’s here anyway.

“Hmm, let me think,” Fred said, placing his index on his chin. Uh oh. “How about no?” he snapped, quickly letting that carefree smile adorn his face again. Loki’s smile faltered. “Unfortunately, your proclamation isn’t as fun as my idea, Mr. Laufeyson.” No seidr, no backup. He was going to have to fight the one he loved.

“May, commence operation Omega!” Fred yelled, bouncing on his toes. “I’m so excited!” he yelled, his arms flailing around. Loki couldn’t help but notice how the man’s appearance did not suit his personality even by a percent. Creepy.

He watched as y/n’s body started shaking. She was seizing. His stomach dropped as the horror registered in his mind. The wires suddenly detached from her head with a sickening pop as she opened her eyes. Her e/c irises now glowed bright blue. Like electricity in her fibers. Loki’s chest clenched at y/n’s foreign expression. How long had it been since they got in? Surely Agent Hill must have realized something was wrong by now?

He flinched as the shackles around his hands clicked open. He was incapable of fighting y/n, let alone killing her. He couldn’t stand the idea of landing his fist on her.

“Ah, hello? Subject 7? Can you hear me?” Fred’s annoying voice crooned.

“Yes,” y/n said, her face devoid of any expression. Almost as if she was a robot. Loki’s skin rose up in goosebumps as he heard her cold emotionless voice. This was not his y/n.

“Good,” the doctor beamed. “Destroy.” That’s it. One simple command for y/n to turn to Loki and snarl at him.

“y/n,” Loki whispered. No, no, no. He felt tears prickling in his eyes. He’d rather die a thousand deaths than lay a hand on her.

“You’re pretty. But I’m going to kill you.” y/n smiled, her mouth letting out a little giggle. That wasn’t her giggle. It was cold, malevolent.

“Doctor May, what was that? It was cute, but I don’t remember asking for that?” Fred asked, frowning at the lady. Stuttering, she said, “I-I believe the serum hasn’t taken complete effect, sir. Part of Subject 7’s personality i-is still accessible to her.”

“Aw,” Fred groaned. “Do I have to kill you, Doc?” he asked the lady, whose eyes were now wide as saucers.

“N-no, sir. I assure you it won’t be a p-problem. I will have it fixed b-before administering the next dose.”

“Okay!” Fred smiled again.

Loki overheard their little conversation. Could he still reach for his y/n, which was buried underneath the cold exterior, courtesy of the serum?

“y/n,” he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. She didn’t respond, but simply charged at him with a growl.

Loki dodged her, putting a safe distance between the two of them before trying again as his mind screeched at him. All your fault! Why did you let y/n uncover the sheets? You knew it was dangerous, you knew they were dead!

“y/n, it's me,” Loki said softly, trying to get her to look at him. He took a step towards her when he saw that she wasn’t going to lunge at him.

“y/n … I know you’re in there.”

Loki thought he saw a flicker in her eyes.

“Doc! What’s going on?” Fred exclaimed; his face glued to the glass.

Loki decided to get closer. “My love,” the words sounded foreign to his ears, no doubt, but it had never felt so right.

“Come back to me,” He whispered, reaching for her; tears obscuring his vision. “Please.”

y/n lunged at him; a perfect roundhouse directed towards his face. But Loki’s reflexes had always been faster. She circled him, like a predator assessing its prey.

Fred banged at the glass. “Subject 7! We do not have all day!” He yelled, and now y/n was rushing towards Loki. She swung her fist at his jaw as Loki dodged her, only to receive another punch on his throat. Coughing and sputtering, he glanced at y/n, his eyes speaking words he never had a chance to say. Rubbing his neck, he said in the gentlest voice he could muster, “Please, my love. You do not have to do this,” he paused, gauging y/n’s reaction. He noticed how her movements faltered every time he spoke in that gentle voice. “It’s okay, y/n,” he whispered, his eyes holding hers as he reached to cup her face. Everything slowed down when clarity sank into Loki, chilling his bones like ice on a hot plate. He now knew what he had to do.

“It’s me, look at me, my love,” he breathed, his eyes searching hers. Flicker. His y/n was fighting underneath the shadow that had taken over her body.

“I love you,” He whispered to her. 3 words, just 3 words to let her know how sorry he was. To let her know he never meant any of it. to let her know, that it was all his fault.

“I love you, my darling, I always have; I’m so sorry this ever- “ Loki’s voice muffles down as the next event unfolds.

She’s suddenly kissing him, she’s kissing him like she’s never kissed before- raw and hungry- and for one moment, for one moment y/n's emerged from the shadow of the serum- to tell him, tell him that it was okay. That she understood. One kiss to let him know that she’s forgiven him, one kiss to let him know that she loved him too. Loki’s eyes widened as her warm lips held onto his like her life depended on it- except this time, it did- and he was kissing her back before he knew it. he wrapped his arm around her, his other arm knotting in her hair to support the force of the kiss- and he’s crying, he's crying as her fingers tangle in his hair, he’s crying like he’s never cried before- the tight wraps around his past wounds ripping open, he’s crying like he’s never going to experience this feeling ebbing from the depths of his heart ever again--

And he’s suddenly on the floor with y/n’s hands around his throat, her eyes electric blue again, a menacing smile playing on her lips.

“Yes! Yes!” Came Fred’s voice. “Finish him, Subject 7!”

y/n stared at Loki, her hands lowly tightening around his throat. He could only stare back at her, his tears running silently as he placed his hands around y/n’s wrists.

“Do it, y/n. Do it. I did not deserve you anyway,” he said as he choked on a sob, “but I just want you to know- I have always, always loved you; and I wish last night never happened. I wish for you to never, ever experience the pain you felt last night, I wish for you to be treated like the queen you are- “ he paused, meeting her eyes, a thousand emotions swimming in his mind; making it impossible for him to speak the numerous confessions he was attempting to make.

“I love you, y/n, and I regret not believing you when you said you did too.” He choked out before shutting his eyes and accepting his fate. He embraced death like an old friend, waiting for it to swoop in and steal his soul. He waited for that cold feeling of release, of being free. He would die for her instead.

“I love you too. I never stopped,” He heard a sweet voice whisper. He opened his eyes to y/n’s e/c ones. She had fought the serum. Her lips quivered as tears brimmed in her eyes, freely falling down her cheeks, as Loki’s hands reached for her cheeks. “I love you,” she said, and everything blows apart as the building explodes.

// a week later//

y/n opened her eyes to 2 smiling faces, groaning at the throb in her head. She noticed the other Avengers next to her, all smiling, grateful that she was okay. She was in a hospital bed.

“Welcome back!” Natasha and Steve yelled, causing y/n to shut her ears.

“Guys! Stop yelling!” y/n manages to say before furrowing her eyebrows and shutting her eyes.

“How long was I out?” she asked, her eyes still shut.

“a week,” Sam replied from her left.

“Whoa.” She whispered, trying to recollect the events that had unfolded.

She froze as the images came rushing back to her. She tried to kill Loki. Then she kissed him. ‘I love you,’ he had said, and the building had exploded on their fragile reconciliation.

“Loki!” she gasped, sitting back up, her eyes flailing around to look for him. Was he dead? Please don’t let him be dead.

“y/n! Calm down! You have 3 cracked ribs, not to mention the messed-up head, thanks to serum Omega. We need to make sure it still isn’t in your bloodstream,” Nat says, holding her down.

“Is Loki okay?” she asks Natasha, her heart in her throat.

“I'll bring him to you,” the red-haired agent smiles at her, before turning to the door. “Stay put,” she calls behind her.

“What happened to Fred?”

“Who?” Steve asked quizzically.

“That weird doctor.”

“Oh, probably died from the explosion. Our people are there as we speak, y/n, we’ll find out soon. Feel better, we’ll tell you the rest later.” he said with a warm smile.

How did they manage to get out? Sure, she was knocked out after the explosion, but she did witness the intensity. It would have been impossible to extract them from underneath the rubble- unless--

“y/n?” Loki’s tentative voice came from behind the infirmary’s door a few moments later. She looked at him, searching for any injuries he might have sustained. Loki ran up to her, grabbing her face, “You’re okay.” He said, kissing her gently. He snickered as y/n’s hand crawled up into his hair, pressing his lips into hers harder.

“So are you,” she smiled, looking at him with a look of pure adoration.

“What happened?” she asked Natasha, her fingers looping into Loki’s as he sat next to her.

“I escaped, noticed that you both hadn’t made it to the rendezvous point only to encounter more agents, fought my way out, called for backup, and the rest is history. The question is, what happened to you? We got only Loki’s version. Gotta hear yours,” she says, all in one breath.

“Perhaps give us a while before that?” Loki asks her, Natasha gasping slightly at the little smile on his face.

“Careful Loki, smile any wider and people might think y/n’s making you go soft,” she joked and turned around to leave, gesturing at the team to follow.

“Hey you,” y/n whispered, her index tracing Loki’s jaw. He leaned down to envelop her in yet another kiss, this one sweeter than the best Asgardian mead, filled with promises of tomorrow. He smiled into the kiss when her fingers knotted in his hair.

“I love you," Loki whispered, thanking whoever that he could say it to her again.

"Forever?” y/n asked, her voice still hazy from the kiss.

“Always.”

[untraceable-ace]

Almost 2 hours late to the live react shitpost party bc I was dying my hair while watching it when it started but anyways

Under the cut bc it both contains spoilers for the m9 reunion p2 and also because it’s really fucking long lmao

They’re kicking these guys asses holy shit

wtf is going on with Kingsley btw like pardon?????

See my question is if Ukotoa is in the process of being released while they’re fighting or if he’s still locked away rn bc like

If he’s not in the process of being released waIT

NVM HE’S OUT

IN THE TEMPLE???

Oh god creepy snakes moving in tandem i love snakes but not like this

Run boy run byeeee

NO

NOONONONO

YEAH NO SHIT THATS NOT RIGHT???

fshshshsh the giant just knocked over in the center of the set is so funny to me

fr hes just

there

Oh wait worm???

Not Ukoatoa??

Caleb my god you are a noodly wizard why would you try to intimidate a betrayer god

LMAO A 17???

“That’s me” jester my beloved

Cmon cmon NO

eight whyyy

Uh ohhhh

HAHAHAHA WARLOCK PACT

Which one which one

Is he just flexing w that ring of telepathy or did that have a purpose

Oh Jester <3

KINGSLEY???

“You just got this body” LMAO

First an accidental pact with an ancient evil sea deity then a pledge to essentially mother nature and now a betrayer god woooooh

Creepy

Wait this guy hates Melora does that mean Fjord can’t connect with her anymore?

LMAO the face

Oh not another cursed sword

i think its a cursed sword

maybe

Them putting up his stat card has me concerned uh oh

LMAO “thanks I hate it”

Ooooh a rapier fancy

its official I love Kingsley

AUGH GOOD BANTER

THE SNAKES

“Martial our forces” HMMM??

Darktow who is in darktow hold up

OHHH RIGHT plank king

Cant go back there

Fantasy DMs jfeoghehgaio;ewhaoge

syphilis gang

DAMN that was one efficient sending

You can just hear the agony in his voice ijodfsihjogiho

If anyone’s a glorified librarian its caleb idk what you mean beau

Charcuterie board

Mamas house has more tiddies followed by “That’s a good point” is fueling me

Winds in the east

mist comin in

something is brewin

about to begin

“I know all languages” jfc how many do you know now????

Im still wondering about that monkey yall what was that about

my original thought was that it was Artagan but it was so antagonistic idk

“We were probably a huge pain in your ass like a year ago” yeah sounds about accurate to what I know

I like her too jester she’s fun

risk esseks life cmon cmon cmon I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE AAUUUAUUGH

HES LEAVING PLS BE CONTACTING

damn wrong elf

fshshshsh hermit elf

WOW thats a lot of potions

break to wash out hair dye hold up

before i leave

haha charcuterie board

ok now brb

Okay hair’s done back to reacting

“Okay so you don’t blow yourself up” mood

Wtf is that rod??? Bc we all know he probably wouldve made it amber if he could

Fuckin dope move though omg

EIGHTY ONE????

GOD DAMN

OOOH OH I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES

GET HIS EYESSSSSSS

dainty sip of sherry in the midle of abttle from a flask i love it

holy noises followed by the camera panning to a glowing silouette of a dick on the floor

THREE DRAGONS?????

i mean ik two are illusions but DAMN

Dude I’m not sure Kingsley’s had one bad move this entire two-shot like wtf

soooo AC is 21? I think?

wait do different parts have different ACs?

HAHAHA YES EYEBALL WEAKNESS

Stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the e-

Gently give a slice to an eyeball muah

so eyeball AC is 27> (or equal to 27)

There has been an assault, far as i can tell sam is being a shit again

New tatoo?? Chainbreaker

Fancy

Ohoho oh nvm rip yasha’s dope ass thunderclap

won wound

Ooooh the big bad demigod can be frightened damn

DUNAMANCYYYYY

aw damn rip spell

new form who dis

Half of this live react is just me repeating one liners i found particularly funny oops

Oh nvm?? Dunamancy spell lives????

Nvm

Well ok its alive just half damage

Boy Veth I would love to see you try

“I can dodge gravity” can you????

HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED

THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL

Rip Beau taken out of the game bc piss

OKAY RIP BEAU FR???

FUCKING LEGENDARY HDYWTDT

GET FLUFFERNUTTERED BITCH

RIP FJORD SENT OFF INTO SPACE MY GOD

OH

OHOHOHOHOH

CMON CMON CMON SEAL HIM AWAY DO IT DO IT

OooUuUhfhdbdjfe I love the lighting change for going under water

Cmon pls pls pls work seal that bitch away

WHAT

OHOHO

FUCK YEAH MATE

Uh oh my boys gonna get the bends good call w the far step tbh

Actually bad call that’s too fast a pressure difference

Ayo Travis w the accurate bends rep

Ugh I love Caleb’s level 17 art sm

Well damn Melora!!!! Queen shit tbh

I hope “keep that just for me” means he swallowed it again

LMFAO MATTS FACE

Dicks and Other Things

The Molly Look™️

Promptly steal I love him

DAMN Kingsley’s on some king shit

Literally

ORPHAN TAKER IM SOBBING

WAUUAUAUGHFHFB CMON CMON

HIS BOICE I GOT TO HEAR HIS VOICE SJRJQIFUJEHE

THEY GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO QUICK????? SIX MONTHS??????????

CRYING SOBBING LOSING MY MIND

That was so fucking good oh my god

stimmed so hard at the end that my limbs started to actually cramp lmao

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

A bit of angsty fluff here so what if the night before the battle to take back wall Maria levi and his wife (maybe a civilian) are taking a bath together and having soft emotional sex like for the potential last time and in the middle his wife stops and say "promise me you'll comeback" and levi is a realist so he says "you know I cant promise that" and his wife starts to cry a little and just says "even if it's a lie I need to hear you say it"--- just want to say this isn't necessarily a request but its something that I've been thinking about for a minute I needed to get it off my chest if you want to write it be my guest😘😘

Ha, haha, so... Here I am. I know it took forever but I tried my best to make this a pleasant read. I always think my nsfw writting is cringeworthy, but since I've grown as a writer I decided to write this, to test the waters a little

Pairing: Levi/ Reader

Warnings: Nsfw below the cut you guys, proceed at your own risk

Every Me And Every You

Watered down, salty droplets of sweat sneaked into the corners of your open mouth as you fought to catch your breath. Levi's lips rested inches below yours, slightly parted, waiting painfully to launch onto any place of your skin again. It was the build up that was killing him; your nose pointed at his cheek, your forehead pressed to his, your small huffs of air as you exhaled, both of your breaths mingling in the air.

He hadn't had a chance to notice if the water had run cold. The splashes on his thighs felt feverous, hot and stinging to the touch. They were conflicting to the smoothness of your wet skin and your feathery soft touches, so much that his mind couldn't focus away.

Apart from the silent whimpers and moans, the eventual splashes the room was quiet. A few candles flickered at the very far corner, illuminating the room just enough for him to be able to witness the expression of pleasure on your face.

Had it not been such an emotionally heavied night he would have thought you were way too soft, way too slow, way too affectionate to your love making. But tonight, nontheless, it was achingly perfect. Your hips bobbed lovingly on his, bum softly gracing the top of his thighs, water dripping down from your wet hair with each slow movement as your hand rested on the back of his nape.

The soft scratches on his undercut elicited deep moans out of his throat. He knew he couldn't control himself from squirming under your mellow touch, had it not been for his longing to get the most of you he would have already been an executed mess.

With his head thrown back, his hands tightly embracing your form to bring you as close to him as it was possible, your dripping chests collided in passion and need, forcing more lewd sounds to escape the both of you as bathwater constantly lapped its way up to his face and neck. Your soft lips pressed chaste kisses everywhere they could launch onto; his cheeks, his eyes, the slight curved bump on his forehead that rested in place above his eyebrows.

Your own heart ached everytime you eardrums vibrated from the sound of his voice. There was this reoccurring thought digging around the insides of your stomach; this could be the very last time you'd get to feel eachother, not merely in this way, but in any way at all. You couldn't quite come at peace with it. Any other given time you'd be fine with dedicating your heart to the cause, but now, now that you finally had a chance to annihilate the enemy, now that you had a chance to live in peace supposing you retook wall Maria, you didn't really want to part ways with him.

You'd be damned if he couldn't stay by your side.

"Please promise me you'll come back." You spoke ever so slightly, stopping only to momentarily pull back to look into his eyes as your palms came to firmly grip onto the sides of his face. When his hazed eyes managed to focuse on yours, loathing the way your movements ceased, cutting him off absurdly.

"You know I cant- ah- do that." He grunted between short hitched breaths. "But I'd be damned if this is the last time."

Nontheless, after such statements, looking directly in his eyes wasn't doing you -or him- any good either; the more you traveled down the spiraling storm of their steel gaze, the less you wanted to accept that tomorrow was a day one of you would have to accept eachother's death. Your fingers burned the skin of his face as you touched him, despairate to elicit a different answer from him.

The dull ache in your lungs, caused by your throbbing heart only severed by each second as you stared down at him with parted lips. Everything around you was spinning, wrapping you in a hot spiraling vertigo, preventing you from realising the salty puddles that were forming inside your eyelids. Your nose automatically snickered, sucking back the unshed tears that had found their way inside your numb nostrils.

"Even if it's a lie," you spoke as your heart sped, beating so loud that your pulse was all you could hear "I need to hear you say it."

Your only answer was a tender, feathery soft kiss.

Your eyes looked deeper into his as you engulfed his mouth in a bruising kiss, bringing your bodies impossibly closer. There was no denying in it, your movements became almost violent, hips bobbing painfully fast at fear of not being able to indulge like this again.

Levi's lips moved on their own accord, sucking skillfully as his teeth nibbled at the crook of your neck, his tongue pushing the section of skin in his mouth right onto his pallete. His skin felt hotter than ever before; as his own heart throbbed in anxiety and greed, his hands clutched onto your pelvis, his fingers delving despairately hard at every point they touched.

"D-don't stop." He popped.

His lower stomach lowered and sank at the need to contain himself. Despite reaching the much wanted high of intercourse what his mind and body ached for wasn't a blunt release. He needed to feel you close, closer than ever, to feel you on his pained body. The way that your body rubbed with his numb torso left him light headed and dizzy. He couldn't move much; just wrapping his arms around you, pressing you absurdly into his embrace was just about enough.

Enough for the furious grind of your hips to finally creep it's lewd way inside his brain, enough to send pleasure through him in agonising waves. He was practically coming undone under your mellow, never ending movements; he felt so powerless in the moment, he was only able to focus on the much needed friction that would bring him over the edge in a way that his silent cries of pleasure fell deaf on his own ears.

You instantly regretted gripping on the sides of the tub behind him, but the need for stability wouldn't allow you to bring both hands on him again. It was in a singular unanticipated moment that your releases came, accompanied with shagged hitched breaths and pants, bodies completely unravelling and collapsing in the touch of each other. Yet, you didn't know for how long you rocked your bodies back and forth in the edge of the bathtub after you lingered in each other's embrace; it seemed like an eternity and yet not enough at the same time.

As you fought to catch your breaths, rapidly kissing eachother as if to prevent your needs, you wished the world had stopped right then and there.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Fourth commandment: honor father and mother

Contain spoilers from the manga.

Old writing of mine. Thought about posting so here you go.

I recently find out that the majority of the fics I have more replogs and comments are avout sadness sooo why not shed sone tears for our bird man this time huh?

He smirked at hearing the sound of you singing in the shower. He had just arrived from work and was greeted by what he loved to hear the most, your voice, his dove's voice

The echo the bathroom made only made him smile more at being able to hear such melodies coming out of your sweet lips.

He would tease you now at them about it. But oh, how it ceased the anciety and pain in his heart on terrible days he would just swallow it up for your sake. Knowing very well that your family life wasn't the best anyway. Not perfect, but was good as you would describe it every now at then with a smile; despite his worried frown whenever that was a fight and affected you so badly to the point you cried over his shoulder at night or morning.

His ears pecked up when your humming stopped and smiled lovingly when the melody of your qorda started to come...

'You left and took, my heart suffocated, and it suppressed my pain, a subtle gesture of loveee~'

A chuckle left his lips. He would never learn where the musics you learmed came from. But it didn't meant it was beautiful no less. He stood up from the couch and took careful steps to hear it more without you knowing it.

'Father. Look at this rain outside ... oh my father, I think the time has come...

aandd dont just, sit there to see and vanish it

the chance that already weaves in the past, oh this little boy's soul just is begging it...'

For some reason... that part, made his heart thump hard on his chest... after all. It did reminded the hero of... him.

His father. The reason why his true name was hidden from the public view and completely erased by the comission. The one that constantly beaten up just for him going into the city just to help others. The man that was a thief, a murderer, a liar... a abuser.

Just when he swallowed up another part of your song came up.

"Oh mother, cover me up with your sacred embrace, allow me to be your son, recreate that thought of a shelter, just don’t leave me alone,

your memory is my calm, swords that pierce into my soul.

like the wind of the desert that is so cold...

How I miss your maternal love and your laughter.

the world only brought me slaughter, I lost that old hope of just being a child,

that the smile never fades, they made me just a weapon..

I am still in the quest to be loved~" the shower sounds stopped as you he heard you sigbh and without him noticing, he stormed out of the roon to close himself on his huge closet, a hand on his mouth as tears threteaned to spill from his eyes at the mention of only blinking them.

Keigo's past was never an easy one... his parents never should be used as a example. His mother did fell in love with a criminal, but that didn't make it easier... she wasn't warm, she wasn't the kind of mother that would just embrace him and help the poor boy feel safe, loved nor protected....

God... she made him go get some money and questioned what were the use of his wings, his quirk... what kind of mother says that to a child that was only trying to help dammit!?

Angry drops of tears strated to fall from his eyes as he controlled the harsh breaths and sobs that threatened to escape beforw his whole body tensed and stopped when he heard the source of his comfort on his adult life...

"Honey? Did you come home earlier? Where are you?" He heard you call and took deep breaths before putting on a smile on his face, a so fake smile that surely you would notice right away.

"Right in the big ass closet dove. I was planning to shower a-anyway." He cursed himself the moment his voice cracked as he desperately picked some clothes to wear as he discarded his hero costume with pure anger.

"..Kei?" He flinched at hearing your voice behind him "Baby is something wrong? Tough patrol, is that?" You carresed his feathers gently and he almost whimpered at how delicately your fingertips brushed against it.

"J-Just a bit. Nothing major." He shrugged and made bee line towards to the bathroom as you stood there in pure worry and confusion at the same time. Never Keigo refused your comfort when you two finally passed that time of getting to know each other in your relantionship.

Frowning, you decided that maybe just a time for himself was best as you picked your favorite and warm pajamas and started to get things started to see if Hawks's mood brighten up for just a bit.

Sadly you knew he was trying way too hard to hide the pain. But the echo of his muffled sobs and curses as he ounched the wall wasn't helping him at all...

Brownies on the oven, Fried chicken already ordered and the most you could do of a nest out of pillows and blankets on the living room right in front of the Tv, already open to choose a movie on your boyfriend's will.

The sounds of the water finally stopped as you mentally prepared yourself as you saw your boyfriend in grey sweatpants and red hoodie, wings and hair all dropey as well as his eyes, him rubbing the top of his hair with a towel until his honeyed orbs widened at the sign of the living room and you cursing yourself for burning your hand at taking out the batch of the brownies out of the oven without protection....

"Fuck..." You hissed in anger before a confused sound left you as a warm and bigger hand grasped yours with care and brought the place where you had burned on his oh so kissable lips.

"Maybe you should have waited a bit. Just saying though." He smirked, but not with the usual glint on his eyes as you frowned but playfully scoffed.

"Excuse me? I am Hawks's girlfriend!" You dramatically proclaimed as he snorted "'The young hero that is way too fast for his own good!', so yeah, I guess I have the right of being a bit too anxious to get the set of brownies I made out just on time, thank you very much."

"And burnt yourself along the way." He chuckled as you showed your tongue at him with a smile but his features soon dropped and looked away from you, in hopes you wouldn't catched.

But you did.

"Whats all this for anyway? Am I geting my ass beaten up for forgetting some day important?" You frowned with a smile as you carefully hugged him from behind, mindfull of his wings as his muscles tensed up a bit only to loose as his scarred hand carresed yours over his chest.

"Cant I just spoil my man for a bit? Especially after a tough day?" You sensed his shoulder getting up and dropping with a watery chuckle as he shook his head in disbelief.

"You didn't have to do all this you know? Is not-"

"Dont." You muttered sternly as you let go of him to get right in front of your boyfriend as you cupped his cheeks "Dont say 'is not a big of a deal' with me Takami Keigo. I know you more than yourself as you once said it. Dont hide things that bother you away from me when you help me just as much with my insecurities and problems, alright?" He looked troubled as his eyes dropped to the ground mainly controlling himself as always but you nudge his gaze back up rubbing your nose against his "Alright?" You asked for the second time as his mouth opened and closed like a fish before giving up and nodding, pulling you to him for him to hide his face on the crook of your neck as he hugged your waist tightly, shoulders shaking.

"Aw my prince..." you cooed as you hugged his neck and caressed his nape "What is bothering you, hm? Is it the comission again pressuring you?" He shook his head as you frowned... maybe it was one of his secret missions he couldn't speak about it...

The inter phone ranged, indicating that the food you ordered was here. Moving away from the hug, Keigo only pulled you back as you frowned but soon noticed a couple of his feathers working their way to catch the money and go pick themselves.

"Kei I would pay myself for those!" You poyted as he only tightened his hold on you.

"Is the least I could do dove... please just at least this let me do it."

"Well.. fine. But you have to get a cool movie to watch. No crappy ones."

"... yeah sure."

Now you were alarmed. Not even a "you're the one who chooses the crap one"s ?.... For All Might, what happened to him...?

"Kei..." you almost whimpered, which catched his attention as he looked at you in concern as he cupped your cheeks in worry which you quickly covered with your own "What's going on? Dont tell me is nothing...please, I can see right through you that something is not right..."

Hawks sighed shakily as his eyes looked at the other direction as well as his hands dropped into your waist to pull you close.

"Sounds stupid but... I heard you singing. Beautiful as always..." he smiled as you contained your urge to squeak in embarrassment "But... I dunno, the lyrics of the song catched me off guard I guess? Speaking of father and mother's love or some shit..." he chuckled dryly as you frowned, catresing the rebel strands of blong hair making their way into his face.

"So it has to do with them? Did they contacted you or something?" You asked softy as you carresed his cheek and was meeted with a shook of his head and a sarcastic chuckle.

"Why would I? She is happy with me far away from her, a nice home to live in... as far for the old man, he..." he sighed heavily "I could care less. Neither of them cared so sometimes I ask myself why the fuck they didn't used the goddamn protection if they didn't want a brat to "ruin" their lifes?!" He sobbed as he clinged to you "he himself made the favor of saying the freacking condom was beaides but he made the mistake of not using it! What kind of dad says that to their kid of six years (Y/n)?! F-FUCKING SIX YEARS! I KNOW I WAS A DAMN MISTAKE BUT DID THEY HAVE TO RUB IT ON MY FACE ALL THE FUCKING TIME?!" Your heart broke in more than two pieces at seing him in this state before you guided him to the make shift nest to pull him down.

"Stop this, Kei-" you shushed him softly as he gulped harshly, gritting his teeth to mantain his tears at bay "If they werent careful, fuck them, this doesn't matter to us. They dont matter. But what they done, it wasn't a fucking mistake. It was a miracle and a blessing. My hero, my boyfriend was born because of these two, so stop saying that you being born was a mistake!" You cried while he stopped grinding his teeth to look at you dumbfounded.

"Your wings saved more people than anyone can count." You whispered tearfully as your hands carresed them before cupping his cheek "You saved more people than anyone can count. You matter not only for me but for a shit ton of people!"

"... you're getting worked up because of this tantrum I threw-" he mumbled only fro widen his eyes at the how you almost screamed.

"Of course I am worked up! Who wouldn't be?! Whenever I have shit to deal with, you get angry at whoever hurted me, so damn well I will get pissed off with or who whatever makes you fell less like the shining bright passionate and beautiful hero that you are Takami Keigo!" You poked his chest angrily before breathing in and out to contain your tears as he finally cracked a toothless smile at your state.

"You... You're so perfect you know that?" You angry face soon vanish at the way he looked at you like you were the solution for all of his problems, like an angel that came to hush all of his dark voices that haunted him at night with nightmares... a look with so much love that almost made you tear up again as a smile cracked into your lips.

"Dammit... love im trying to stay serious..." you hugged and peppered his face with kisses all over until he was chuckling heartless and turning his face enough for your lips to land on his instead of his skin.

You both were breathless as you were on top of him and carresed his golden looks with heart eyes as he closed them with lopsided smile at the pets and all the sweet gestures you did for him, and him only.

"Kei.." he hummed "Seriously, stop thinking about what your parents thought or think of you. They opinion doesn't matter, specially considering who they are and what they done so far... but dont hold hatred either because it only prejudices you, not them." He opened his eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling.

"... i cant actually forgive them. I dont feel I could even if I tried..."

"Im not saying for you to forgive them Kei." You stared at him as he arched one of his eyebrows that you surely need to trim at least tommorow "They are the same thing as the commission if you think about it. Their feelings or opinions towards you doesn't mean anything. Because you, birdboy, are the greatest human being in all world and everything I could even ask for." You smushed his cheeks together causing him to chuckle watery.

"You're gonna make me cry again birdie.." he prosteted heartly as you kissed both of his cheeka then his lips lovingly.

"Then at least be tears of joy, hm?" You hummed as his gaze soften and let tou peck his lips "The food is going to get cold, Im going to grab the plates okay?"

He groaned(whined?) While hugging your waist tighter and pressing his head down on your collarbone "Dont leave now, you're warm..."

"Keigo, you're basically a walking furnace especially with this hoodie, you will live." You giggled when he huffed and looked up at you with a pout.

"My feathers can go grab it then, you stay right where you are. Arent this suppose to be for me after all?"

"You've been gotten lazier every day it passes huh chicken little?" You carresed the apple of his cheeks as he tsked.

"Lazy my ass, I almost never have a day off..." he mumbled before nuzzling on your neck and sighing in bliss.

"Maybe if I pester them enough you can get some... but for now lets just rest here and enjoy the peace and quiet eh?"

"Hmm..." he hummed on your neck, causing vibrations to tickle your skin as you laughed and grabbed the packet his feathers brought, taking a package of nuggets out and almost getting to eat one until a certain bird brain just looked up and opened his mouth.

"You're such a cutie brat you know that?" You plopped the chicken nugget on his mouth as he hummed lovingly before smilling at you one more time.

"First, yeah I think as myself as pretty adorable-ouch!" You snorted at his expression after you pinched his ribs "Second... I love you.. so much." He mmurmured, face getting back on the crock of your neck.

"I love you more..." you kissed tenderly his temple and carresed his back while laying down on the huge amount of pillows.

"I love you more." He grunted.

"Dont argue with me on this!" You giggled as he chuckled.

"But is true... you're my love, my home, my family... my world."

"Takami Keigo if you make me cry one more time I swear Im beating you out of our nest."

"WHa?! WHY?!"

"BECAUSE YOU DO THIS ON PURPOSE YOU ASS!"

"IM NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING!" He laughed at your desperate laughter and just laying back on the safety of your arms as he breathed in and finally felt the anxiety of earlier completely vanishing.

Yeah... fuck what his parents thought of him. What matters to him is when he is finally popping the big question and making you oficially his.

==============

(A/n) if anypne interested, the start of "song" is actually from a brazilian rap dedicated for gaara, naruto and sasaku called "sem familia" or in english "no family"

[meowlimia]

ED log

tw sh, and the usual

**

july 2nd, 5:53 am 

the past few days have been relatively uneventful, i just havent been eating much so there’s nothing to talk about. did binge a few times though

june 30th, 

one ring of pineapple w/o the skin and middle

small cup of chocolate milk

something else maybe? cant remember eating anything else though.

yesterday, july 1st 

6 tacos from taco bell, meat, cheese, and sour cream.

and 1 of their MASSIVE cups, with pepsi.

6-8 pineapple chunks

Purged it all, i ate 4 when i first got it, then picked at the other 2 later, which i didnt purge because i just didnt eat much besides the shell. i think i have finally, somehow, icked myself off taco bell. thank you god.

later, like around 2 am today

i had 1 medium and 1 small fry from mcdonalds

a pineapple soda

a coke

and 2 slices of costco pizza. 

all purged. 

Cant date this binge but it happened between this log and the last.

1 container of battered fries from a mexican place

and i THINK 2 grilled cheeses? with low moisture mozzarella and a bit of cheddar.

either way, all purged.

ive worked out twice this week, which was nice, but i cant see myself keeping it up unless im really desperate to appease my ed. 

trying to get better with tracking my food but its hard, again, i have a really shitty memory and i dont really have the foresight to log my binges or meals when they happen. Nor do i really calorie count besides in my head, and even then its a rough estimate.

Cut for the first time today, ive always been really scared of pain so im shocked i went through with it. Im having a really hard time with some school related stuff right now and i just couldnt handle the stress. they’re not deep cuts or anything, really light actually, but i cut basically in the same place a ton of times so its really irritated.

ive never really used self harm to deal with my stress so im shocked at how much i didnt mind it. probably not something super addictive, but i can see myself doing it again once these marks fade. it helps to look at them and know that nothing really matters, i can torture myself all i want and it’ll be worse than what im stressing about. kinda. im still worried, but its definitely better.

Ive been gaining and losing the same 5 pounds, probably because im not purging everything i eat like i should be, i almost never purge snacks or drinks on their own. its hard sometimes, my depression have really intensified over the past few weeks and getting up to do anything let alone purge is difficult. i have to remind myself constantly that i dont wanna live in this fucking fat ass body forever.

[words-for-holland]

Happier (10) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: After the events of last night, Tom and Y/N are completely heartbroken. More threats are thrown out. Tom leaves???

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Masterlist

A/N: WOW 10 CHAPTERS ALREADY?! If you made it this far..Thanks for sticking around! What has been your favorite part in the series so far??

Anger

There was no way to describe it. The unsettling feeling erupted between Y/N and Tom after last night. At that point, they weren’t sure of where to go from here, but I guess that’s what happens when one lets their guard down. Once thinking they had a second chance to rebuild what was lost, has now drifted further and further apart.

Y/N knew she should be angry at Unknown, for being the reason why she had to experience heartbreak a second time. Yet, she also couldn’t help but feel anger towards Tom. There had to be a reason behind the kiss, but something inside her didn’t want to let go of the fact that he did kiss Natalie in the end. It wasn’t staged, it wasn’t questionable pictures, it was real and Y/N had the displeasure of seeing it up close.

The images wouldn’t leave her mind, and no one was there to look out for her. Kate was gone, and Harrison and Harry took a weekend for themselves. For the first time ever...it was just her against the world.

Y/N hadn’t moved from her position since she yelled at Tom. Crouched on the floor, her back leaning against the door, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. Her mind and her heart had left her body, while she was very much alive, her current state might as well deem her dead. She was waiting for someone, something to give her a sign that everything was going to be okay.

Thats when she heard the soft knocks. Three knocks at a time. Once. Twice. Then a third time. Y/N refused to open the door, thinking it was still Tom, but the more she waited the more the enfuriating knocking would not stop. After a couple more, she was ready to open door just to stop it. Another part was also curious to know what Tom had to say about last night. Maybe just maybe they’d get through it again like they did before. Y/N wiped her tears dry, and turned the doorknob.

It wasn’t Tom.

Natalie with her neatly waved, dirty blonde hair appeared at the door, her hand in mid knock. She gently placed it down and gave Y/N a tight-lipped smiled. “May I come in?” She asked in her robust english accent.

“Let me think about it. You’re in a PR relationship with my ex-boyfriend, you stole my ex-boyfriend’s clothes without permission and posted it all over social media when you said you wouldn’t...and let me see I know there was one more thing I was forgetting...” Y/N sarcastically ponders the thought, tapping her finger on her chin. “Oh yeah..you managed to kiss him right in front of me when there was no need for the PR. So if you asking to come into my room as if you’ve been my best friend all my life..You’re out of your fucking mind.” She speaks out bitterly.

Natalie looks at Y/N surprised at the attitude thrown at her. She knew Y/N was one for being a forgiving and generous girl, but today she saw a whole side of her. Natalie smirks at the comment and the result of her stunt. “Okay, then I won’t play the nice gal anymore. Now this is your last warning. Stay. Away. From. Tom.” Natalie threatens, jabbing her finger into Y/N’s chest as she emphasizes the last four words.

It clicked for Y/N as if a lightbulb when off in her head. She always had her assumptions, but Natalie’s threat was enough to prove her theory. “It is you...You’re Unknown. This whole time...From the moment I started to drift away from Tom..It was because of you!” Y/N yells out in frustration.

Natalie laughs manically. “Oh babes. You’re funny if you think I’m Unknown. Im only a part of your nightmare. And it’s going to keep on going and going. I’ll make sure you never wake from it.”

Y/N glares at Natalie, shaking her head in disbelief. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this..if you’re not Unknown, who is?”

“Like I’d ever tell you who Unknown is. I wasn’t lying about that part though. Unknown is on to me as well if I don’t play my role in this game.” Natalie scoffs as she looks at her fresh pressed manicure.

“If Unknown is threatening you, then why don’t you stop them? Why help make my life miserable when you know all of us are being pulled by the strings?” Y/N interrogates Natalie, furrowing her eyesbrows in confusion. No human being would be that cruel to ruin somone else’s life for no apparent reason. She assumed that Natalie was lying for the sake of keeping herself safe from Unknown, but from what?

“Because you took the one thing I ever truly cared about. Tom and I were doing fine, until you came into the picture.” Natalie glares at Y/N. She wanted to make sure her message was loud and clear. “I want to make you feel the pain and loss I felt when Tom left me.”

Y/N looks at her with digust, almost sick to her stomache the way Natalie talked down to her. “You cant change the way he feels Natalie.”

“No, but it seems like you’re doing that just on your own. Honestly Y/N, how much longer do you think he’ll take the more you push him away? Unknown and I are just the boost, you’re insecurities is what’s doing the magic. God, I cant wait to see how far it goes.” Natalie smirks as she turns toward the door.

“Then why keep going Natalie? You have Tom, the publicity, the looks. What more do you want?” Y/N challenges her.

“Acceptance.” She simply states. “And I wouldn’t bother bringing this up or trying to make ammends with Tom. You know Unknown will continue to pull more strings. In fact, I heard he got so sick of everything, he’s leaving on the next flight for Germany.” Natalie emphasizes, hoping to hit a trigger point for Y/N.

Y/N remained frozen, feeling so defeated as she looked at Natalie one last time before she made her way out shutting the door. Tom left. He left because of her and now she was truly alone.

Natalie skips her way downstairs to see Tom on the phone with his agent. He’s clearly distressed about last night and sitting down with his phone in hand. “Germany?! Now?!” He asks. “I..I cant. I have something going on right now. I have to fix this. I cant leave.” He speaks out as the voice talks over him. Tom was in no mood for games and he certaintly wasn’t ready to pack his bags and leave for an emergency shoot while Y/N locked herself in her room thinking he cheated on her with Natalie.

“Please...I need to set this right. I can’t think about work right now—.” Tom pleads.

“Tom, I get it. You’re heartbroken. Y/N’s heartbroken, but this is important. Not coming through with this could damage your career and cost you millions under contract.” His agent regretfully shares. “Trust me I tried to find a way out for you, but there’s no loophole. Natalie’s agents have it in their control and breaking it could mean all your money goes to them.”

Tom placed the phone on his forehead as he tries to channel and calm his anger. Natalie was getting on his nerves by the second. If it weren’t for this stupid contract, he would have never agreed to the PR stunt, let alone..let her live in their house for as long as they had. “Don’t tell me this all because of the fucking stunt.” He grumbled, trying his best to contain the frustration.

“Yes and no. It’s for the movie. They want to start filming and start setting up interviews for behind the scenes. Natalie will be there too, but I can make sure you are allowed to go alone...if it makes it any better.”

While Tom’s agent tried to make his job less difficult...it really didn’t make it any better. He’d avoid another stunt, but it also meant being far away from Y/N, right when she needed him the most. She had to hear the truth of what really happened that night.

Speaking of the woman herself, Natalie padded her way innocently towards Tom. Her arms crossed, her hair slightly fluffed, almost as if she were trying to show the world how soft she was. “You should go.” She says sweetly in her accent.

Tom looks at her in disgust as he tries to back away. “Not like I had a choice.” He leaves Natalie alone, making his way to pack his things. He knocked on Y/N’s door one last time to see if she would answer, but nothing. However, that didnt meant it would stop him from saying what had to be said. “Y/N, look...I know youre extremely pissed at me right now and you have every right to be. But you have to believe me when I tell you that it meant nothing to me at all. I..I..I have to go right now, and leave for Germany, but when Im done with this stupid contract Im coming back for you. I promise.” He laments, sliding a folded note under her doorway.

Unfortunately for Y/N she did not hear a single word that came from Tom. Her body and mental state had made her so overly exhausted, it put her in a state of deep sleep. If she couldn’t face the problems in the real world ar the moment, at least she could escape it in her dreams. So there it laid on the hardwood floor just hidden under the purple tapestry rug, Tom’s heartfelt note waiting to be read.

Tom made it to Germany in two hours time. The whole plane ride, he couldn’t help but wonder if Y/N had listened to anything he said, if she even bothered to read his note to her. He couldn’t worry much about his projects when the woman he loved was hurting again, right after he swore he’d do anything to protect her. The first two days passed ever so slowly. Tom’s anticipation to go back home moved quicker than the seconds on the clock. But here he was, sitting down in a green room waiting to be interviewed, feeling completely useless.

Light footsteps click clacked in the hallway, and the noise started getting closer, it became louder and clearer. Out of the shadows of the hallway was Natalie, dressed in a gold floral dress, with looks that could kill and make any woman envious. “Umm...we still got 30 minutes before we go on.” She smiles, talking ever so gently. Natalie takes the seat beside him on the couch, trying her best to hold on to his hands.

Tom rolls his eyes, yanking them out of her reach. “Stop it Natalie. Im tried of this shit already.” He reacts, distress straining his voice.

Natalie’s smile drops the moment she hears him say those words. “Tom...I was just..”

“No! You are taking this stunt way too seriously. What you did back in London is really shit of you. Taking my clothes, and kissing me without my consent?! What the fuck Natalie?!” Tom raises his voice, the lines on his forehead creasing.

“I thought it was a rather cute thing to do. Besides the people loved it, and don’t act like you didn’t love the kiss. I felt the passion in there.” Natalie justifies, flipping her golden locks as if her action had no consequences.

Tom laughs in disbelief. “Natalie. You ruined my chances with Y/N. I pushed you away the moment you pressed your lips on mine.”

“Why her? Why are you so caught up on Y/N? I told you so many times that she’s not good for you. She’s not even British. I meant what I said about the both of us being great together. Look at the pictures, the reactions. People love us. Thats why we got this lousy interview in the first place.”

“But Natalie...I don’t know how many times I have to tell you this. I love Y/N. I dont care what the whole world thinks. It will always be her.”

Natalie looks at him with teary eyes. This wasn’t how it was supposed to work. After everything she’s been through, after all the things she did for Unknown, Tom was supposed to be with her. “I don’t understand. You were supposed to love me!” She screams, her eyes burning with fury. “I was supposed to win in the end!”

“You can’t force someone to love you Natalie!” He screams back, his face turning redder by the minute. “Im not some prize to be won.” There’s silence in the room. Breaths heaving and panting as they try to recollect themselves. Tom takes another breath before he continues, “Look, we may have been childhood friends and gotten close, but this doesn’t mean we were endgame. Y/N came into my life and my whole life changed for the better with her. It’s like I can breathe, laugh, see the world in a whole new light because of her.”

Natalie sniffles, looking away as she hears the truth that she can no longer deny. Tom was truly in love with Y/N and no amount of backstabbing, threats, PR stunts, or fights could break them apart. They were meant for each other. “I just wish it was with me.” She whispered.

Tom shakes his head, now talking more gently. “I know, but believe when I tell you, I’m not that guy. Somewhere out there you’ll find someone who makes you feel the way I feel about Y/N every second of the day.” He places his hand on her shoulder as she gently touches it and pushes it away. She could no longer be angry, all the anger had left and was replaced with sadness. Natalie couldn’t help but wonder if this is how Y/N felt after everything she’s been put through. Maybe worse more or less, but was this what a broken heart felt like?

It was time for the interview, and as Tom made his way out, Natalie stayed behind. A change of heart was taking place inside her, and with everything that’s happened, she wanted to set things right. “What are you still doing here? Get your arse into that interview.” Her mother grumbles as she yanks her daughter’s wrist to the door.

“Mother...he doesn’t love me.” Natalie, whispers, her voice almost disappearing.

“I told you, he’ll learn. If you weren’t doing such a lousy job, maybe he would learn to love you.” Her mother rolls her eyes, still trying to drag her out to the room.

Natalie shakes her head holding back. “He won’t ever love me. Tom..he’s truly in love with Y/N, and that’s not something we can ever break. Every obstacle makes them stronger, and even now Tom is still willing to win her back. We can’t win mum.”

“Don’t tell me you’re growing a soft heart now. You’re more to blame than me. Naughty girl, always trying to break them up for your own good. If you weren’t so keen on —“

“No mum! That’s what you wanted! You wanted me to get the fame and fortune. I wanted love..but not like this. Not if we’re forcing Tom to love me when he doesn’t.” She wipes the tears from her eyes before continuing, “Im done with this. With everything. I’m going through this interview and that’s it. I want to set things write.”

“Then I’ll just ruin you and your friends with all the secrets and blackmail we’ve collected. You really want to be a part of that game?” Her mother threatens.

“You cant hurt us anymore, mum. No secret and blackmail will ever be big enough to break them. Every stone has been unturned.” With that Natalie makes her way into the interview where she sits next to Tom, in a very platonic way.

“So Tom and Natalie, tell us about your relationship. How is it going so far?”

Tom and Natalie looked at each other, smiling. Almost as if they were telepathically telling the other it was time to tell the truth. No more secrets. No more blackmail. This was it. The end was near.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs @joyleenl @holland-bowen @in-a-lot-of-fandoms-tbh @viwihere @marvelobsessedteenager @panicattheeverywherekid @oswinO5 @jillanaholland

[wreckofawriter]

Games (soulmate au)

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Word count: 2,382

Warnings: Making out?

Request: hi! It’s me again, could I request a Fred Weasley soulmate au? The type where their soulmates first word’s to them is tattooed on their body? Please make it fluffy and cute, thank you! :)

A/n: I am so sorry this was late. I had a grad party I forgot about! Also I'm probably going to have the other request out on Wednesday I'm so sorry but I have another grad party 2mmaro and I wont have time to write. Hope you guys like it!

The words in Fred's ankle had always been, well controversial at his household. His mother sure didn't like them. George thought they were hilarious. Ginny thought they were almost sad, sad that was how him and his soulmate would meet. Ron agreed with George, Percy thought they were ridiculous and his other brothers thoughts were pretty neutral. Fred simply thought they were odd. And as he looked down at the words, he couldn't help but smile, this was going to be one interesting person.

You snickered watching as your seeker checked his hair in the mirror again.

"You know Malfoy maybe if you spent less time putting grease in your hair and more time practicing then we would be winning for a change."

He whipped around glaring at you. "That's not very good team spirit y/l/n." He seethed.

"And since when are Slytherins known for their teamwork?"

He rolled his eyes and snatched his broom from the rack and joined the rest of the team in the horseshoe they had made around their captain.

You glanced around trying not to look as bored as you were. You have heard it a thousand times before; kick Gryffindors ass. Nothing new, except for the fact that your seeker was almost ok and theirs was amazing. Which meant it was basically up to you to score a shit ton of points before the snitch was caught. It was all quite stressful.

As you walked out onto the pitch you heard a mix of boos and cheers, the former as always, over powering the latter. You ignored the crowd and boarded your broom. You flew a couple feet in the air and waited for the whistle. When you took a deep breath and then sped upwards. If everything went right Montague should have the quaffle ready and waiting for you. And he did. You snatched the pass and made your way toward the goals where you could see Wood waiting.

You ducked under a bulger, dodged some girl in a red uniform and made for the large hoops. You reached for the quaffle tucked under your arms and shot it in the far left hoop. It soared through and you whipped around to get back to your position.

The game had been going for hours. It was hot and sunny and you had already ditched your outer layer. Currently you had scored 160 points, you were doing pretty well. All together your team had 210 points while Gryffindor was 50 points behind. Things were looking up.

You were headed towards the hoops once again the quaffle locked securely under your arm. You were about to shoot when out of nowhere something hit you straight in your side.

You dropped the quaffle and tipped off your broom with a scream. You managed to keep your feet wrapped around the handle and was hanging there attempting to reach your arms up. When you finally did, the pounding of your heart on your ears stopped and you could hear shrieking laughter.

You turned to see Fred Weasley pointing and laughing at you.

You flashed a brilliant shade of red before shouting, "If you don't shut up Weasley I'll shove that bat up your ass."

His smile dropped. A look of absolute astonishment replaced his joyful features. He felt his heart stop. You flew away with a scoff and an eye roll, you had no clue what you had just done to that boy.

For the rest of the match Fred could simply not focus. He hardly hit any blunders and most of them were completely off target. George scolded the boy and tried to get his head back in the game but it was helpless. He wanted to say something to you but what? What could he possibly say, "Oh hey what's up, your my soulmate by the way." It was all so stupid.

Gryffindor lost when Draco caught the snitch and Slytherin was celebrating in there locker room as Oliver almost killed Fred in their locker room.

"What the hell!" He yelled at the red head. "You couldn't hit a thing this whole match!"

"Look I'm sorry. I was distracted." Fred apologized.

Oliver didn't seem to care for his apologies at all. "You were doing fine." he sighed, "And then suddenly you knock y/l/n off her broom and you cant hit the broadside of a barn with a bludger."

"Look Wood, I'm sorry." Fred apologized again trying to make it sound sincere although his thoughts were elsewhere.

"What in Merlin's name could have made you so distracted any way Fred?"

Fred paused, the whole team was listening there was no way he was saying anything. "I just umm was?" He raised his eyebrows, hoping that his captain would buy it. Which of course he didn't.

"What eas it Weasley?" Oliver practically growled

Fred cast his gaze downwards trying to aviod eye contact with anyone.

"I swear to Merlin Wweasley if you don't tell me what gave Malfoy a free ride to the snitch I will-"

"She's my soulmate alright!?" Fred yelled his patients wore through.

"Wait, y/l/n is your soulmate?" It was George talking this time. His eyes were wide and mouth slightly agape, he was mimicking the rest of the team.

"Yeah." Fred looked down blushing a bit, he wasn't used to these situations. "But she doesnt know so don't tell her." He added quickly.

"Alright, sorry for laying into Fred." Oliver said.

"Its fine." He waved it off. He then turned to George panick in his eyes.

"How is she my soulmate?" Fred asked his twin desperate for an answer. They were now sitting in the Gryffindor common room eating candy they got from honeydukes.

"I don't know mate, but I wouldn't be too concerned. I mean she's hot." George pointed out, stuffing a chocolate frog in his mouth.

"Yeah but she’s Slytherin." Fred groaned.

"It probably won't be that bad Fred, you are destined to be together."

"How are we destined to be together? I mean we sure as hell aren't best buds." Fred said popping a fizzing whizbee in his mouth.

"So what," George started his voice muffled by chocolate, "You'll get along, just wait till Ron finds out he'll flip."

"Ok then what should I do?" Frdd asked

"You have to talk to her idiot." George pointed out.

"WWhat do I say?" The older twin asked.

The younger just shrugged, "Wwhatever you say will be on her ankle anyway so just try and make it romantic."

"Alright." Fred said still quite unsure on what to do.

You sat in potions trying not to laugh your ass off as Angelina a girl from Gryffindor totally ditched her potion.

You had finished ages ago and were simply waiting to be dismissed. You glanced down at your watch. Five minutes.

You had been anxious to get back to the quidditch pitch. You had to get in some more practice before the next match. You were playing hufflepuff and wanted to stick iit to Cadwallader. You had five gallons on the fact you would score more points then him in the upcoming match and you'd don't lose.

So when Snape finally said you could go you practically slept from your seat in excitement.

You sprinted down the hallways as quickly as you could only run striated into someone. You fell backwards landing hard on your butt and letting out a yelp of pain. You book bag had slid across the floor and hit the opposite wall of the thin hallway.

"Oh Merlin, are you alright?" A voice asAsked and you about passed out. Those were the words on your ankle. You looked up to see a mess of red hair with matching red robes and red cheeks. His eyes seemed to glow in the candlelight as he stuck his hand out for you to grab. You felt the heat rise in your face as well, since when was Fred Weasley so attractive?

"Shit, I said something didn't I." He looked upset, as he pulled you to your feet. You felt your face grow even brighter at contact with his surprisingly soft hands.

"Uh yeah ya did." You practically whispered your y/e/c eyes big as golf balls.

"So then you know?" He asked fidgeting with his robes.

"Know what?" You asked completely bewildered by the things that had happened in the past minute.

"That your my soulmate." He laughed.

"Yeah I guess I know that." You said your mind was going crazy. Fred Weasley was your soulmate? What? I mean sure he's incredibly good looking and funny and smart and great at quidditch but, what?!

"You probably don't even know which twin I am." He laughed a bit although the idea of his soulmate not knowing who he was hurt. "Im-"

"Fred." You finished for him. "I know who you are."

"Really?" Fred asked eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah I do. Wait, how did you know o was your soulmate?"

Fred blushed as your y/e/c eyes gleamed up at him. Your y/h/l y/h/c hair framed your face beautifully and he was suddenly struck with how attractive you are. Your face was dusted pink and it made you look incredible. "Well umm, remember when I knocked you off your broom yesterday?"

"Vividly" you answer eyes narrowed a bit, your arms now crossed.

"Well afterward you said-"

"If you don't shut up Wesley I'll shove that bat up your ass." You finished for him again doing your best to contain the laughter inside you. You failed miserably and burst with giggles. He thought it was the most amazing sound to ever grace his ears.

"Wait wait wait," you managed to squeak out still giggling, "Is that seriously tattooed on your ankle?"

"Yep." And to prove it Fred pulled his sock down and showed you the words printed on to his pale skin

You burst in a wave of fresh laughter, "I'm sure your mom loves that." You said between laughs.

"Glad you find my misfortune so hilarious." Fred said rolling his eyes playfully.

"Oh come on. If it was me with those words on my ankle you would be losing your shit." You pointed out still laughing.

"Your right, I should have said something closer to, 'Look where the fuck your going." As payback." He smirked and you burst into laughter once again.

"You should have!" You were crying with joy at this point, "It would have been one hell of conversation starter!"

Now Fred was laughing too, his smile bright. He looked down at your giggling form and he was once again talking by your beauty. Your eyes shining with tears and gleaming with joy. Your extremely soft looking lips a light pink color were stretched into a wide slightly lopsided smile.

As he stared your laughter died out and you had looked back up at him, you blushed a bit to find his gaze on you, "Like what you see Weasley?" You asked a cocky smirk on your lips.

"In fact I do." He said smirking right back and leaning down a bit to be somewhat level with your eyes.

"Well you aren't exactly ugly." You bit your lip as you did so and Fred about lost it. Keep it cool he reminded himself. So instead he placed his hand over his heart dropped his mouth and blinked a few times feigning hurt.

"That's what I get as a complement?" He asked in fake surprise, "I'm offended."

"Ever the dramatic Weasley." You smirked.

"I am quite a good actor." He said leaning closer to you, you could feel his breath on your cheek and your smirk dropped. He had to know that he was doing right? That wasn't fair.

"Im good at more than acting though." He winked, smirking as you blushed a deep crimson.

You attempted to stay on track, "A-and what else might you be good at? I haven't seen much." It would have been fine if you didn't stutter but damn he was really close to you and smelled like a mix of smoke and chocolate. It was completely infatuating.

"Oh, you'll see plenty." You wanted to smack the smirk off his face. He was playing with you, but you weren't in the mood for games anymore.

"Oh shut up." You whispered face burning. With that you yanked him down to meet you lips. He was clearly taken off guard but kissed back quite quickly once your lips moved against his. He quickly pushed you up against the wall and grabbed your waist. Your hands found their way to his fiery hair, it was surprisingly soft. You felt his tongue glide against your bottom lip and you opened your mouth, granting it access.

When he pulled away your lungs were burning and you gasped for air.

"I hope you know this doesn't change anything on the pitch." You said.

"Of course, I'm just going to have to make sure not to hit your face with any bludgers. Wouldn't want to ruin its beauty, would I?" He winked.

"What every weakness you show I will use to my advantage." You smirked shrugging.

"I like the sound of that." He winked again.

"Keep it up and you will only be able to blink with one eye." You said eyebrows raised.

"Winking won't do that." He pointed out.

"Yeah but me poking one of your eyes out will." You deadpanned.

"Has anyone ever told you your a little scary?" Fred asked as he leaned in again.

"Yep-" you were cut off by his lips.

"Y/l/n!"

You pushed Fred off of you to see Malfoy standing a few feet away a disgusted look etched on his face.

"Captain wants you, so get the Weasel’s tongue out of your throat so you can actually talk." He scoffed

"I'll see you later." You whispered to Fred. Before walking towards the platinum blonde. "You call him weasel again and I will cut your tongue off and make you eat it." You flashed the now terrified boy a cheeky smile and walking towards the pitch the young seeker sulking at your heels.

"See ya later Mouthful!" Fred shouted saluting the boy as he walked out the door.

Masterlist

[reeree1500]

The Return- Part 11

Im backkkkk💕 Hey yall so after a very very longgggg break from writing😅😬 I am officially back💕 I wanted to say thank you to everyone who reached out to me for their support and their love💕☺️ I am currently working on finishing up this series for yall as well as some smutty😏 requests that have been sent in. And I just wanna say that I love all of yall and yall are the best people out there💕💕💕💕💕💕

Disclaimer: Some Angst, Some Fluff and my horrible writing as always💕 Hope yall enjoy💕

Taglist: @yanii-the-hippie @oceans-daughter-3 @camatsuru @youbloodymadgenius @calum-hoodwinked-me @cutegyrl927 @readsalot73 @blonddnamedhandz @hallowed-heathen @pinkrockstar19 @ivarthethiccness @zuxiezendler @thejulietfarciertlove @supernaturalvikingwhore @ifihadwings128 @paintballkid711 @affection-rabbit @mel0nch0ly @queenofallthyfandoms @limbo-limbo-limbo @biss-stuff @funmadnessandbadassvikings

Lemme know if you want to be a part of my permanent taglist as well, so I know who to include in the one shots☺️💕 

-------------------------------------------------

Recap:

Taking a deep breath I go to stand up from the bed in order to fetch a bucket of water and some new clothes. Instead I end up on the floor cradling my belly, with a burning sensation in my chest and blood pouring out from my mouth. “(Y/n)! Mama!” I can hear the shouts around me. “Fetch the doctor! Now hurry!” The voices around me begin to fade and not before long I can feel myself drifting away.

“My baby... Save my baby...” And with that everything turns pitch black...

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Ivar’s POV

It seemed like time and everything around me stilled. What had started as a very awkward and unpleasant evening, had become even worse. Just a few steps away from me, (Y/n) had collapsed and I wanted nothing more than to rush to her aid and lift her up in my arms so that I could whisper that everything would be okay. That our son would be fine, because he was a fighter and he was OUR SON! That this was all a nightmare and that I would not rest till whoever was responsible would be put to death by my hands! But how could I? How could I be that person she needed the most when all I had done was bring her pain and sorrow. 

I hand single handedly destroyed her life and her family. It wasn't until I saw her there. Laying down on the mattress as cold as ice that it dawned on me. All the hurt and pain that I place the people I love through... 

“Ivar? Are you alright my love?” Said Freydis as she knelt down before me, whilst placing her hands on my knees. My hands that once rested on the arms of the chair I was in, grasped on to her arms. I lifted my gaze to meet hers with the iciest stare that I could muster. “Do...Not...Touch...Me...Whore. I want nothing to do with you, for I know that somehow you're involved in this. And when I find out how, I will not hesitate to end your life!” I said through gritted teeth, whilst I pushed her down on to the floor. “My king, my god, I have nothing to do with this I assure you! Please you must believe me!” She pleaded with me whilst trying reach for me again. I only stared at her and said nothing back for I would not be able to contain myself from killing her. 

Shifting my gaze away from her I stare at the mattress in the middle of the room. Were (y/n) and Erik lay. Both pale, but you could tell that Erik was not in as bad of a shape as (y/n) was, as he had some colour to his skin. I could see Freydis from the corner of my eyes, lifting herself up and trying to come towards me. This idiot does not give up. I quickly turned my icy glare towards her and she stopped dead in her tracks. Bowed and slipped away from the room.

Her eyes told me everything I needed to know. They showed guilt, anger, even happiness, perhaps at the fact that the only person that has ever loved me for me was dying, but the one thing that showed the most was remorse. And that single handedly told me that she was involved. Freydis was not smart enough to do this on her own, so there must have been someone else pulling the strings. And I would not rest until I found out who!

-----------------------------------------

Your POV

Fluttering my eyes open, I start to notice the familiar surroundings around me. The fireplace’s light radiating across the entire room. Marjorie’s little body at the foot of the bed sound asleep and Erik’s little body hugging her’s closely as if he was protecting her from anything. Erik! At that thought I try my hardest to lift myself off the bed to check on my baby boy, but am stopped by him. “Surely, you're not thinking about getting up, are you now? We both know that’s probably one of the stupidest things you could do in your condition.” Ivar said from the chair he was in. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, maybe even weeks. His hair was disheveled and his eyes held something to them that I couldn't quite put my finger on. 

I tried to form words, but couldn't quite find the right one’s. Ivar stood up from the chair and used his crutch as support to lift himself off the chair and walk towards the bed in the middle of the room. “I..var, what happened? Erik.. h..he was...”  I trailed off before the tears streamed down my face. “Shhhh... It’s alright. Don’t cry, I’ll explain everything that’s happened, but please do not cry. I cannot bear to see you in tears, love.” Ivar said while wiping the tears of my face with his thumbs as he sat down beside me. As Ivar took my hand in his, he recounted everything that had occurred in the last 2 weeks to me. 

Freydis had been escorted back to Kattegat by Ivar’s guards, he did not tell me why, but I could tell that it was something serious by the way his demeanour changed. Bjorn and Hvitserk were set to sail back as well sometime this week as they had treaties and business to attend to in Ivar’s behalf. Who was keen on not leaving my side till I awoke and Erik was back to full health. “And Arthur? Where is he?” I whispered, noticing the children about to wake up. At that Ivar takes a deep breath in and with an exasperated sigh... “He’s gone (y/n). He left a note about a week ago. He said that being here at your side wasn’t his place anymore, that the children and you would always have a place in his heart. And not to worry, that he was not going to revoke the children’s titles. But...” Ivar said looking down at our intertwined hands. For a moment I could see genuine sadness and guilt in his eyes, he looked back at the children and then he looked directly into my eyes. The eyes that I had tried so long to forget. The eyes that brought me comfort, safety and most of all the love that as much as I tried to deny it, he could only give me. “He divorced you (y/n)...” 

Before I could even get the chance to process what Ivar was telling me, I felt two pairs of arms wrap around me. “Mama! You're awake!” Cried out Marjorie. “Oh my babies! Im so sorry, I will never ever leave your sides again do you hear me?” I say to both Erik and Marjorie as I look into their eyes and wrapped them in a bear hug. I can feel Ivar’s stare from where he is sitting and before I realize what Im doing, I pull him in to the hug by the shirt he was wearing. “I cant... breathe...” said Erik from underneath mine and Ivar’s arms. At that we all let out a small laugh and let go of our family hug. “Erik are you feeling alright? Are you sick? We should probably get the doctor. And you should be in bed mister not out of it!” I say once it dawns on me that my son was almost poisoned, and here he is acting as if nothing had happened. “Calm down (y/n), he's alright I had the best doctors taking care of him while you were, you know.” Ivar says as he rubs my back in a soothing way. “Yeah Mama! Uncle Ivar...I mean Papa took care of me and Marjorie whilst you were sleeping, he never once left my side even though he probably should have, he looks terrible.” Erik says as he whispers the end of his sentence making me and Marjorie laugh. Ivar just stared at him not knowing how to reply to Erik. “Rude.” Is all that Ivar said before plopping down next to me on the bed, making us all laugh harder. I could see Ivar playing as if he were hurt by Erik’s statement, but his eyes told me how astonished he was at the fact our little boy was just like him, not to mention the fact that I could tell Ivar was dying of laughter on the inside. 

Moments later as the children are telling Ivar and I what they had done during the week. There’s a knock at the door. Marjorie and Erik go to answer it, as they noticed that Ivar had fallen asleep with his head on my lap and he hasn't slept at all during the last 2 weeks. “Well if it isn't, my beautiful niece and my handsome nephew. Eh! How’s your papa, is he still brooding and acting all grumpy in the corner of the room?” Hvitserk says with a grin on his face that stretches ear to ear. “Nope! He’s sleeping on mama’s lap you see.” Marjorie says as she points toward us from Hvitserk’s arms. “(y/n), you're awake!” He says putting Marjorie down and running towards the bed and throwing himself on it. Ivar’s hand shoots out and grabs Hvitserk’s throat. “Don’t.” He says before letting go and going back to sleep, as he places his upper body across my legs. “And were back to normal people!” Hvitserk as he laughs while hugging me and kissing my forehead.

 “So how are you feeling? How was it actually? Wait you must me insanely hungry, good thing I had your cooks make a feast!” As Hvitserk went on and on asking questions and me trying to answer them to the best of my ability I start to think about my family and what the future holds for us especially now since I’ve lost my best friend. And Im not 100% forgiving Ivar just yet, but I cant help but feel that this is how it was meant to be. Ivar and I listening to the ramblings of Hvitserk and our children and one of us drifting away while the other smiled and nodded. The thought brought a huge smile to my face, and a feeling that I could never forget nor want to disappear. The feeling of Family.

---------------------------------------------------

After a couple of days I still wasn't back 100%, but I couldn't just stay locked up in a room. Ivar protested all he could, but he knew that I would not stop until I got what I wanted. As I made the trek from the castle to the cliff I could see the ocean and how calm and serene it looked. The birds flocking from one place to another and the sun setting in the distance. The view was breathtaking. “You know considering you just got poisoned, you shouldn't be out and about by yourself.” Bjorn said as he approached me at the edge. “I know, but I just needed a moment to myself. To think about things and wrap my head around this mess.” I said pulling the shawl a little tighter around myself, to shield me from the ocean’s breeze. “Here, take this.” Bjorn said as he placed his fur around my shoulders. “I thought I lost you for good (y/n). Those 2 weeks where we didn't know if you would awake, took me to a dark place that I haven't gone too since before you came back into my life...” Bjorn whispered as he looked out towards the sun set. “Bjorn, I’m a horrible person. I can’t stop thinking about how this is the life I was meant to live. Just me, my kids and Ivar. What about Arthur? He was such a big part of my life and I...” 

“You can’t help, but feel guilty. Guilty that was you shared wasn't meant to be, that secretly you hoped for this day all your life? Free from what seemed like a burden?” He says as he sitting down and twiddling with the laces on his boots. “Yes... But he wasn't a burden, he was my friend, my best friend. He was there for me when Ivar wasn't, he took care of me.” I choke out through sobs as I fall on my knees next to him. “I know, but you cant help who you love (y/n) and who you do not. At the end of the day you would have held this in and it would've ate away at you, for Odin knows how long.” Bjorn says wiping away my tears and kissing my forehead. “God I hate you sometimes, you know that?” “Nope, you loveeee me.” We say as we laugh together whilst we lay down on the grass looking up at the stars as the night took over. “(y/n), although you're not technically my sister. I want you to know that no matter what I’ll always be with you and that I love you.” Bjorn says without looking at me. “I know...I love you too, big brother.” I take his hand in mine to show him that nothing has changed between us and that no matter what he’ll always be my big brother.

 Standing up we make our way back to the castle, but before we go in I stop him. “Bjorn, when is the boat departing to Kattegat, again?” “In 4 days time, why?” He asks with a worried look on his face. “Let’s say that I’ll be joining you, 4 years is long enough to be away from home.” I say looking up at him, with a hard look on my face. “I’m not one to stop you, but are you sure that’s what you want?” He says with a worried look. “Believe me, its what I want and what I will do.” 

I had gone too long being afraid of the retaliation that Floki would take against me, but I knew that he had orchestrated this poisoning, for he wanted me dead. However, he had not only messed with me, but with my son and no one touches my children. This time I would not return to Kattegat a scared little girl. I would return as a mother, who would protect her kids and her family at all costs and this time I would not be the one sent away, for I would stay in Kattegat and nothing and no one would get in my way...

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 54

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52 || CHAPTER 53

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: this is the break-up from his POV. next chapter will be the very last one and im super excited for it but stressed also. so any love, comment, question, etc, that you send me makes me so happy i cant even explain how much :)

Chapter 54 : His chapter

NIALL

I was done with work earlier than usual, perhaps because I couldn't seem to concentrate or do anything good. The words didn't want to come out and if someone had just met me, they could believe I had never touched a guitar in my life. I closed my eyes when I got out of the building and inhaled deeply. I had stopped trying to forget the words Olivia had told me. They kept hitting the sides of my brain like a fucking screensaver and it was torturing me.

"I can’t stop loving you, no matter how hurt I get. No matter how sad you make me. No matter how tough this is. Because it’s so tough dating you, Niall. I never thought it would be so hard."

I had never stopped myself to think about how hard it was to date me. In fact, I never cared before and I never stayed with someone long enough to think about it. All I really understood with her words was that I kept hurting her and making her feel like shit, and that despite that, she still loved me and would stay with me. It should be a relief, but it actually brought a constant feeling of guilt and pain inside me. What kind of monster does that? What kind of person was I if I just kept her around while hurting her? What kind of person was I becoming and how would I be able to look at myself in the mirror after that?

I felt something stir in my stomach and started walking in the city without a specific destination. I didn't want to go home and I was not sure why, I pushed my hands in my pockets, my mind still on my girlfriend and everything we had gone through in the past months. If there was one thing I knew, it was that I loved her. I loved her more than I've ever loved anyone and I knew i'd never feel like that for anyone else.

"Love is not everything." I let out in a low voice, repeating her words as I tried to let them sink in. "But it should be, Olivia, shouldn't it?"

I sighed, knowing i'd never be able to tell her that face to face and stopped walking for a few seconds. I breathed in and out, focusing on the air in my lungs but despite my best efforts, I couldn't stop my heart from beating hard against my rib cage. It was ridiculous. I wanted to be with her, I wanted our story to last, but the simple thought made me feel uneasy. Heidi was right, I didn't want this to be the last experience i'd have, whether it was emotionally or sexually, and I was not ready to commit, at least not the way Olivia was. I held my breath wondering if I was lying to myself about the guilt and pain I felt knowing that I kept hurting her and that maybe it wasn't the real reason why I wanted out but I just shook my head and opened my eyes. Both reasons were real but they felt very opposite. Letting go of her because I kept hurting her and I wanted her to be happy looked like abnegation, but wanting to protect my freedom was selfish as hell.

I stopped at a cafe that was almost empty and ordered one before sitting alone at a table. I grabbed my phone to send my girlfriend a text message but quickly changed my mind. What could I tell her anyway? I was not going to break up with her in a text message and just sending her 'we need to talk' is a torture she clearly didn't deserve.

I started looking at pictures of us together and frowned a bit, swallowing hard. She had been nothing but a great best friend and a good girlfriend that did all she could to adapt to the lifestyle I was stuck in and I was about to break her heart. The sudden realization that I was really going to leave her came to me and made my whole body throb. I felt nauseous and I gripped the sides of the small table until my fingers turned white. I didn't really want to do this and at the same time, I knew I had to, and not only for her, but also for myself.

I stared at the dark color of my coffee for a while, hoping I was actually drinking something a bit stronger. I was not going to, though, if only to be sure I wouldn't be intoxicated when i'd get back home to tell her. I owed her that, didn't i? Plus, I was sort of expecting her to fight back or beg me to change my mind, and I knew it was going to be hard resisting, but changing my mind would only mean postponing the whole thing.

I sighed and brought my hands together as I played with my fingers. It was ridiculous to be nervous for that but at the same time, being totally zen about it would be even weirder. I got up quickly and threw my coffee in the bin, suddenly impatient to get rid of this discussion but after a very quick walk, when I stood in front of my house, I was not so impatient anymore.

It took me half an hour to walk in and I only knew because I actually counted the seconds in my head. My hands were sweaty, my heart was threatening to jump out of my chest by my throat, and something was permanently stirring in my stomach.

I stared at the doorknob for a while before turning it and walking in. She was sitting on the couch and when she turned to me, my eyes fluttered as well as my heart. She waved at me, a small smile playing on her lips, and I felt my heart swell with love. I sent her a small smile, trying to contain my feelings inside, and just went to get changed into more comfortable clothes. I stopped by the bathroom, staring at my reflection for a few minutes, thinking about how much of a coward I was, and when I came back in the living room, I just sat next to her without sending her a glance. She immediately cuddled me and I felt my heart twist in my chest. It felt good to be close to her and I desperately wanted to take her in my arms, but I couldn't stop telling myself that no one can have everything. You can't have your cake and eat it too.

I felt her lips brush on my jaw and it felt incredible. I remained tensed and motionless but when she grabbed my hand, I couldn't handle it anymore. I quickly got up and walked quickly to the kitchen. I heard her voice calling my name twice but I ignored it until I felt her closer.  Instead, I grabbed a beer in the fridge to ease my nerves. When I turned around to lean against the counter, I noticed she remained close to the exit as if she didn't really want to have the discussion we were about to have and frankly, I didn't really want to have this discussion either. That's when the worst words ever created came out of my lips.

“Look, Liv, we need to talk.”

I looked at her facial expression change into fear and it hurt me so much that I had to look away. I bent down to take an other beer and opened it before handing it to her. It took her a few seconds but she walked closer and grabbed it from my hand, her fingers brushing against mine. Why did her touch always make me feel like that?

I took a few sips from my drink as I repeated the same sentence over and over in my head without really wanting to say it out loud. I made sure I was not looking at her but when I finally gathered enough courage, my gaze finally met hers.

“I think we should break up, Olivia.” I let out firmly even if deep inside, that was not how I felt. “At least, for now.”

A feeling of relief washed over me as these words dropped but it immediately left me completely when I saw her face. Her beer slipped out of her hand and ended on the floor but I just kept staring at her like I didn't notice.

"No..." her voice was low and I could swear I heard it crack slightly. "Why?"

I pushed myself off the counter and passed my hand in my hair nervously. I didn't want to explain everything to her and telling her I was doing that to stop hurting her felt stupid even if it was one of the reasons why I was breaking up with her, just not the only reason. I also didn't want her to blame herself, what good would it bring? I'd rather be the bad selfish guy, perhaps it was going to help her get over me quicker.

“I’m just not ready for a relationship.” I just pointed out, raising my shoulders. “I don’t want to commit, be official, and everything.”

“I’m.. i’m not the first girl you date. You dated Maya before me? And a few other girls?”

I was a bit surprised by her question because to me, the difference between her and all these other girls was very obvious. How could she compare herself to girls I never really wanted to be with? Girls I never really loved?

“I didn’t love any of them, I knew I wouldn’t stay with them.” I explained, putting my beer on the counter and walking up to her slowly, scared she was just going to run away. As I feared, she took a step back. “But what we have is real.. it’s deep, I mean, it could last forever.”

It was scary how I meant every word I had just said. I knew I was going to end up with her but I also knew it wasn't going to start now. Our love story couldn't continue for now but it would, at some point. I had never been more sure of anything else in my life.

“That makes no sense.” she whispered to me. “What are you talking about?”

I was a bit hurt that she didn't understand and somehow, I realized that she didn't see things the way I saw them. She didn't believe we'd end up together in a few years. She didn't understand why I was breaking up with her now and why I had stayed with the other girls I dated, even if I hadn't dated any of them for as long as I dated her. How was I going to explain that to her?

I walked closer and felt a small relief when she didn't back away. My eyes roamed on her face as I brought my hand to her cheek, brushing my fingertips on her soft skin. I looked at her fondly, and held my breath. She was beautiful, and It was unbelievable that I hadn't noticed just how much before we started dating. I was so blind before but now, I could see her. I could really see her. Perhaps it was simply because I was in love with her but who was I trying to fool? There's nothing 'simple' in 'being in love"... and I was. I was madly in love with that girl. My eyes dropped to her lips and the only thing I wanted to do was to kiss her. I wanted to feel her mouth against mine for the last time in a very long time. Her lips parted and my heart jumped in my chest. It took so much strength not to bend down and kiss her when every fucking fiber of my body told me to do it.

“I’ve never been in love before and I knew whatever I had with them wouldn’t last. But you and me? It’s different. We could spend our lives together.”

“And we were supposed to.” she argued as tears fell slid on her cheeks. “But you’re ruining it.”

I felt my heart jump up in my throat at the sight of her tears and had to twist the bottom of my shirt to make sure I wouldn't take her in my arms. She looked so sad and I felt like shit knowing I was the one making her feel like that but at the same time, I knew it was one big deception that would lead to her being happy again. Happy without me.

“I’m sorry, Olivia.” I apologized again, shaking his head a bit as I stared at her. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. It wouldn't fair of me. “I know it’s selfish but i’m just not ready… i’m not ready to accept this as what i’ll go through every day. We fight and we make up and then cuddle on the couch… this is not what I want for me, this is not what I want for us.”

“Don’t fucking lie, Niall. You’re just not ready to accept that you’ll only wake up to me every morning, that you won’t get to see an other naked girl dress up and leave your room at dawn and that you’d have to call me to tell me you’ll stay late at the bar with your friends. It’s your freedom you’re saving over our love. It’s your fucking freedom that you don’t want to lose. And clearly you love it more than you love me.”

The truth behind her words hit me deeply and it opened a wound inside me, making me realize that my fears were real. I was a selfish person and there was no reason for me to deny it or argue with her about it. She was right and it hurt like hell to know I was not the only one thinking that.

“I love you so much. So fucking much.”

I didn't feel like I had the right to say it but I did it anyway. I was already seen as the selfish guy I was, and I was going to say everything I want to tell her no matter what. I pressed my hand on her warm cheek and her lips parted. I wanted to run my thumb on her bottom one before kissing her. I wanted to show her how much I loved her.

“Don’t you fucking touch me, don’t you fucking dare tell me you love me!” she said angrily, breaking my heart even more. “You don’t love me! I love you!”

“But I do! Olivia I do love you!”

It seemed like she was too mad to hear in the tone of my voice that I was begging her to believe me. I was not sure why I needed her to believe my words, though. Perhaps, an other silly whim of a selfish man.

“D'you want to know where you can put that love, Niall?”

My face twisted in pain again as I tried to keep my tears in.

“Don’t say that Liv, please…”

This time, she was crying so hard I had to turn around to hide the grimace I made as I teared up.

“Oh fuck off, Niall!”

She stormed out of the kitchen and I started sobbing low to make sure she wouldn't hear. Holding my tears and my sobs made my throat hurt and I wiped the tears quickly, just in time to hear her push the door of our bedroom roughly. I breathed in, trying not to show that I cried, and walked back to the living room. Her eyes met mine again and I had to swallow to make sure I wouldn't beg her to stay. Once again, we stared at each other for a while like we were both waiting for something but after a while, she just shook her head.

“I’ll pick the rest of my stuff later.”

She walked past me and my eyes fluttered at her scent. She still smelled of honey and vanilla and it made me want to grab her arm and pull her close to be able to smell it a bit longer. I didn't though, I just let her walk to the door and when her hand reached for the knob, I tensed. If it was the right thing to do, why did it feel like the worst mistake I ever made?

“I love you, Olivia. I always will. You’re the love of my life.”

I meant every word and more, I just didn't know how to express them. Not yet and not in words, but a bunch of lyrics came to my mind as she opened the door even if making something out of them would take time. She walked out and left the door open but it took me a few seconds to walk up to it. I saw her walk up to the street slowly, her bag on her shoulder. She disappeared in the rainy night and I lost her, maybe forever.

                                                      ------

I could barely hear the music around me or the people talking, laughing and sometimes screaming. I just focused on the pen in my hand and the way it moved on my napkin as I scribbled my thoughts and feelings. I didn't even get changed or anything. After Olivia left, I remained standing under the door frame for a long time just watching the rain pour hard on the cement until I realized that my tears were blurring the sight. Then I sent a text message and grabbed my coat to drive to the pub. It smelled like beer, cigarettes and cheap perfume but somehow, it comforted me and I sat on a stool to start writing. It's crazy how pain can inspire the human kind, and very sad at the same time.

I grabbed my beer and took a long sip of it before putting it back roughly on the counter and quickly write more words. They had to come out now or I knew they'd keep hurting the same way the tears that I kept it when I broke up with Olivia had hurt me.

"I knew you'd call me, didn't think it would be so soon, though."

I breathed in and my eyes finally moved up only to see Heidi smiling at me. My eyes roamed on her dress and normally, it would do something to me. Not tonight. My eyes moved back to my napkin and I felt her sit next to me and order a drink but didn't give her more attention. I should feel bad since i'm the one who called her but I think I just didn't want to feel alone. I thought about calling Louis instead but I had the feeling he was with Liv.

"So, your place or mine?" Heidi asked, putting her hand on my arm.

Her fingers brushed on my skin and instead to make me shiver like it should have, it made me frown.

"I didn't call you to fuck, H." I pointed out, my eyes meeting hers again. "I just needed a friend."

She kept running one of her fingertips on my skin and I licked my lips, glancing down at her hand.

"Come on, Niall, you're finally free." she insisted with a small shrug. "There's gotta be some perks."

Her words made me think of Olivia and as much as I wanted to take my arm back, it felt like I was frozen with pain. I felt half-dead without her but the part of me that was still alive was never going to give up. It was a small part but it really wanted to survive the pain I purposely put it in.

"Not tonight." I let out after a while, shaking my head.

"You think she's not shagging someone right now? Which friend of yours is she close to again? Louis yea?"

This time, I shook my head harder with a small smile. It was a ridiculous to even consider that option.

"No, no way." I chuckled. "He wouldn't do that, he still loves El. Olivia wouldn't that either I mean, we just broke up."

Heidi rolled her eyes and took a sip of her drink as she shook her head too.

"No, you broke up with her, which means she doesn't owe you anything anymore, and you don't owe her anything either."

I looked down with a frown and stared at the paper I had in hands, re-reading the words I had written. Olivia and I were going to end up together at some point, I could feel it, but it wasn't now. I felt my whole body throb suddenly and I felt a bit dizzy at the thought of losing her forever but quickly cleared my throat and looked up at Heidi.

"I'm sorry I called you, I'm not ready for that."

Her facial expression changed but she sighed a bit too loud and nodded.

"Alright then, can I have a ride home?"

I took my beer and swallowed what was left before searching through my pockets for money to pay for both our drinks. Heidi got up too and grabbed the napkin with my song on it as I finally put a bill on the table. I saw her reading it and frowned, snatching it from her hand quickly.

"That's personal." I just let out, pushing it deep in my pocket and walking past her to get out of the bar.

I heard her follow me quickly outside and noticed that she wasn't wearing heels on that day, which was quite surprising. We both got in my car in silence and she waited until we were almost at her place to turn her head my way with a frown.

"You really believe the words you wrote or do you simply think it'll make a good song?"

I sighed, not giving her a glance, and kept my eyes on the road.

"I believe every single word." I explained after parking in her driveway and turning to her.

She sent me a weird look and a sorry smile as brought her hand to my cheek.

"Niall, don't be delusional." she let out in a whisper. "We're not in a fairy tale, this is real life. In a few weeks you'll feel differently anyway, I promise you'll be over her."

I moved back slowly, feeling her fingers slip off my face and it was her turn to sigh.

"I'll be waiting for your call." she just pointed out before moving closer to kiss my lips.

It took me by surprise and I held my breath as my heart jumped against my rib cage. Why did that feel like cheating?

"Goodnight, Niall."

"'Night."

The ride home was short but I couldn't seem to slow down the beatings of my heart. I brought my hand to my mouth a few times, trying to wipe Heidi's kiss from my lips and felt myself tear up when I realized she was now the last person who kissed me. It was not Olivia anymore, and it really hurt like hell.

I rushed inside and grabbed my guitar, putting the napkin on my coffee table before sitting on the floor. I started singing a bit, trying to find a melody to this song as my fingers slid gently on the strings of my guitar. I was also trying to to let tears out and to just concentrate on the song I was creating but had to stop after a while. My eyes kept moving on some of the words I had written. I had passed with my pen on the words over and over again and the sight of it made me swallow. By re-writing them over and over, it made the ink darker and ripped the paper a bit. I was wondering if I did it because I really believed my words or because I wanted to make them real.

"I can promise it I can guarantee At the end of the road I see you with me"

[xiumin-on-this-shit]

A Few Good Men Ch 4: I Got Her

Hope you guys enjoy this update! I’ll be posting I Am An Alpha I a couple hours! I’m just finishing it up!🥰

Baekhyun POV

My body is buzzing. I have her. After weeks of aching to hold her again she just falls into my lap, this has to be fate. I know I should keep my eyes on the road in front of me but I cant help but glance over at the pretty little thing now passed out in my passenger's seat.I want to touch her, hold her, never let her go but not right now. She's bleeding out, I need to get her to Yixing before anything else. After that, I can love on her all that I want. I can wait. Part of me wishes she was awake, I want to hear her voice, but this is much easier with her resting.

I pull out my phone an call my brother. He doesn't answer the first few times I call, I just keep calling and calling until he finally answers, annoyed as ever, "What?"

"I got her."

He silent for a moment, "You got who Baekhyun?"

"I got her! The girl from Haneul's club!" I'm almost yelling, I can barely contain my excitement.

"What the fuck? Let her go! What the hell do you think you are doing?"

His reaction isn't what I expected, "What do you mean? I can't let her go! Sh not even conscious and she's loosing a lot of blood. You need to help her!"

"What did you do to her?"

"I saved her!" I snarl, "Some asshole was shooting at her and I saved her life! Now are you going to help or not?"

"Where are you?"

"Almost home, we need to sneak her in. I don't want anyone else seeing her."

"Why not?"

"Do you want to deal with everyone freaking out about her? We could barely keep ourselves together when we first saw her."

He scoffs, "Speak for yourself."

"As I remember you were holding on to her all night just like me."

"Shut up. I'll see you in a few minutes."

I hang up, already upset that I have to involve him but it's either that or a hospital where police would be called and they would try to take her away from me. No one is taking her away from me again. My hand reaches out to find hers' limp in her lap, her palms are rough but warm. Just the feeling of holding her hand in mine is more than enough to calm the anxiety buzzing though me, bringing both the nervousness and excitement down in a single touch. I've missed this calming feeling for so long now, she feels the same as my baby, so perfect.

We reach the house to find Yixing waiting outside in a sweats and a t-shirt. I pull up in the driveway, he surprises me by ripping her door open as soon as I park. "How bad is she hurt?"

"I haven't really had time to catalog her injuries while speeding here," The snarky comment is out before I can stop myself.

He glares at me, "You wanted my help and now you're going to act like this? Fuck you!"

"Stop with high and mighty bullshit! You didn't rush out here just because I asked for your help. Now lets get her inside before someone notices." I can see in his eyes that he wants to argue back but he says nothing, he scoops her up in his arms and turns to carry her inside. I shut off the car and rush to join him.

"Everyone is in their rooms." Together we make our way through the house, dreading the idea of running into our brothers even more than usual, as usual though we don't see a soul. "Go to my room," He directs at the top of the stairs.

"Why your room?"

He rolls his eyes, "Because you are asking for my help."

"Fine." I trail behind my brother to his room, jealous of how he is able to cradle her to his chest. Her blonde curls lay across his shoulder while her dirty boots hang over his other arm. I used to be able to carry my baby like that, I don't think I could anymore, I can barely carry myself from room to room. I can work on that. I want to hold her.

When we reach his room he immediately lays her down on his bed and gets to work. “Help me get her clothes off so we can see where she’s bleeding from.”

“Hyung,” I freeze when he takes a step back. His shoulder is covered in blood, “I think I know where the blood is coming from.”

“Fuck!”

“What? Fuck what?”

"She must have hit her head, You better pray she doesn't have a brain bleed."

My hopefulness is soon replaced with anxiety sitting heavy on my chest, "You have to do something! What can we do? Hyung she can't die!" I can't hold back the tears streaming down my face, this can't be happening. I just got her back, I can't loose her already.

Yixing sighs, "Baekhyun you gotta get a hold of yourself, you barely know this girl."

I run my fingers through my hair, barely keeping myself from pulling it all, "We need to save her. She needs our help, how are you not going to help her?"

"There might me nothing I can do."

"No!" I pull her out of his grasp and into my own, my arms wrap around my sweet baby, "It's going to be okay," I tell her. "We are going to fix you up and make sure nothing like this ever happens to you again. I'll keep you nice and safe." I rock us back and forth, my face buried in the crook of her neck.

My brother mumbles something under his breath before sighing loudly, "I'll see what I can do but you have to go get me some things."

I perk up, "What? I'll do whatever I have to do."

"I need some warm water from the kitchen and a few rags from the bathroom. I have to grab a few things from my medical area. We will meet back here in a couple of minutes, okay?"

"What if she wakes up? I don't want her to think she is alone."

"Okay, I'll go first, I'll be right back," He steps out of the room to go down stairs to the unused dungeon where the medical room is also located. I keep my sweet girl close to my chest, I murmur sweet words into her ear, hopping she can hear them and that they offer her a small amount of comfort. Yixing comes back a few moments later with a container filled with medical supplies. "You can go grab the water now, I grabbed some rags. I'm going to start looking her over."

I nod, it takes a moment for me to pull away but with one stern look from my brother I can force myself to let go. “I’ll be right back,” I promise her as I leave the room. My feet can’t move fast enough, I rush down the stairs to find a bowl in the kitchen. The longest part is me struggling to find the right temperature for the water, not wanting it to be too hot or too cold. I’m gone for five minutes at most, I go back up stairs trying not to spill the water and find Yixing looking her over with a soft look in his eyes.

He is sitting on the edge of the bed, one hand positioned by her head, propping him up while his other hand is caressing her face. He is supposed to be looking for her injuries, not checking her out! I’m ready to scream at him but I stop myself, he might take back helping her if I do. Plus I don’t need him telling the rest of our brothers about her. I’m not sharing her with all of them again. The younger ones are so fucking needy and the older ones are still so angry, none of them would react well. But Yixing, he isn’t the worst of them. I watch him with her a moment longer, his fingers tracing over her features once again, I could share with him.

“I’m back,” I announce in a soft voice, Yixing jumps off the bed, nervous to be caught. “I won’t judge you, you know. She is so beautiful.”

He scoffs, “I’m not like you Baekhyun. I’m not going to try that shit again with all of us.”

“It doesn’t have to be all of us, maybe just us. I wouldn’t mind sharing her with just you.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“I am,” I confirm confidently. “We don’t have to talk it all through right now but you look at her the same way I do so don’t act all high and mighty.” I come closer and place the bowl on the bedside table on his side before climbing back in bed with her. “Did you find what was wrong?”

He is silent for a moment before mumbling something under his breath. With gentle hands he urges me to take off her leather jacket and the t shirt that is underneath. “From what I can see she was grazed on her arm and the bump on the head, nothing else too crazy. It’s only the head wound we have to worry about.” I hear him talking but it all goes in one ear and out the other as I stare at her.

She is covered in scars, much like how are baby was after we got her back but this is worse. There are about a dozen circular burns on her chest alone, there seems to be a trail of them leading over her shoulder to her back. Her left arm is the one that is bleeding but it doesn’t appear to be it’s first time in a shoot out, there is a healed bullet wound on her shoulder, I find more and more the longer I look. At least seven from what I can see of her, including a few other questioning scars.

Before I can reach out and touch, my brother beats me to it, his fingers glide across her collarbone to her shoulder and down her uninjured arm, “What the hell happened to you?” He mumbles out loud. He pulls his hand back to reach for the wet rag. “The least we can do is fix you up as much as we can.”

I want to scoff at his sudden eager change in helpfulness but I know better than to press my luck with him. With gentle hands he wipes her arm down before holding it to the wound. Even unconscious she flinches from the pain, making me reach out for her. Yixing looks tempted to stop me but the small whimper that comes from her only encourages me. I lift her head to let it rest in my lap, her curls spread across my thighs. The ombré of her hair from natural dark roots to the brassy blonde tips reminds me of a sunflower. My brother continues cleaning her while I stroke her full cheeks and mumble soft words to comfort her.

Her full cheeks are so smooth beneath my finger tips, there are slight bumps here and there from the few beauty marks that grace her face. She has one like Marilyn Monroe to the right side of her plump rosy lips, two more beneath her left eye. I close my eyes to get myself to remember the color of her eyes, they were different this time, a dark brown but they glimmered under the street light when I first found her. I want to see them again, so bad. I just need her to wake up so I can see how she moves, I want to hear her voice again too. And her smile, I need it more than anything else right now. It’s probably so beautiful.

I find myself whispering the last bit out loud, “So beautiful.”

Yixing pauses, his eyes flick up to meet mine, then down to her face before focusing back on the job at hand. “She is,” He agrees. “Take this is hold it to the back of her head while I bandage this,” he thrusts the rag into my hands. I take it and does as he commands, cradling the rag against the back of her head. He makes quick work of her arm, wrapping her upper arm securely yet gentle at the same time.

“I wonder what her name is, Haneul called her little bird, didn’t she?” I ask the room. “Until we can ask you we can just call you that! Little bird,” I curl down so our faces are closer together.

“I’m surprised you even care to know her name. I thought she was just our baby’s replacement.”

I glare at him, “She isn’t a replacement! No one can replace her! This girl, our little bird, is our second chance.”

“She ran from us once already, what makes you think she won’t do it again?”

“Because we saved her! She’ll be grateful! Who runs away from the people who saved their life?”

Yixing scoffs, “People run away from us because of what we do and who we are. We aren’t some kind of heroes.”

“I guess we will see when she wakes up!”

“If she wakes up,” He quips to just be a dick. We turn her on to her side so he can look at the back of her head, “She should, just looking at it. She’s going to have a bump but she should be fine. Go grab an ice pack from the freezer.”

I just nod. I’m out of the room and rushing down the stairs faster than I’ve moved in awhile, not wanting to leave her for longer than I have to. I find the ice pack, grabbing a few water bottles and snacks as I sprint back the way I came. Outside the door I decided to go past it to my own room to collect something else. Back at Yixing’s door I’m surprised to find our bird in an oversized t shirt that obviously belongs to my brother. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed watching her again.

“She’s wearing your shirt.”

He looks to me, “So what? Her other one is ruined.”

“That’s why I brought her one of mine.”

“I already changed her, just give me the ice pack and get out. I’ll let you know if she wakes up.”

I laugh, “This is a fucking joke right? I want her to wear mine. And if she is sleeping anywhere in this house she will be sleeping in my room!”

“Stop being so dramatic. If you cause a scene someone is going to come see what’s going on.”

“You want me to stop being dramatic?” I nearly scream, “Fuck you! You said you didn’t want her! I want her with every part of me so either be honest with me and join me on this or get the fuck away from my bird!”