#im just so overwhelmed and i cant function

[vorareromantic]

being autistic -> 🫠

vent in tags

[penisbilt]

the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

oaughhhh. everything is stagnant again

[llumimoon]

thinking abt dot and sobbing AUGGHHH CRIES I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

[curiouschaosstarlight]

-flops-

rpg maker mz generator parts and plugins cost money -> maybe i should get a job -> no one will hire me -> also im injured -> getting myself un-injured costs money -> i could make video games while im injured i guess -> making video game costs money -> im constantly hungry and hurting -> fixing that costs money -> i need a driver's license so i can reach more places and won't be confined mostly to my house for a variety of benefits -> getting a test costs money -> i have adhd and anxiety -> getting diagnosed and medicated costs money (also is unlikely to happen) -> god i just want to make video games and stories and art and not think about this stuff -> costs money

[thezodiacco]

.

[trafficpan-ic]

me just trying to exist, and having my autistic needs met

[canceriancryptid]

i need to do everything, which means nothing gets done :) thanks for understanding

[hyah-lian]

work broke me

hyah.exe has stopped

[bigfatbreak]

How can you still draw while being so stressed? There aren't even times where you just give up and you broke your tooth because you were gritting it due to stress. You can post 1 fully coloured drawing at least once a week/2 weeks and you're having one of the worst times in your life. How?? How do you do that??

if im ever so far gone i cant put pen to paper, i want you to ritualistically shoot me behind a laundry shed. the day i cant express myself thru my art even with the overwhelming burden of existing is the day im not human anymore. making shit is apart of my function, like how a printer prints or a fridge keeps things cool or the way your eyelid flickers and your pupils contract when the lights get turn on. i make because i must because i breathe

[dipperscavern]

jon snow is soooo making out and dry humping so desperately u both cum in ur pants i cant believe it. i need him so bad. like im foaming at the mouth

oh my god shut your mouth right now. shut it RIGHT NOW DONT EVER SPEAK AGAINIM GONNA SQUArt (ok who squarted)

cause this applies to any time of his life sorry. lil (s1-3/4) inexperienced jon who has a pretty girl on his lap and has no idea how to function, cause it’s all so overwhelming. your hands are in his hair and his hands are on your hips (he’s too shy to let them roam like he really wants to), and when you start grinding? ohh okay so that’s actually wraps!

and it’s also later seasons jon that just needs you so bad. it’s desperate and messy and you’re enjoying each others tongues too much to undress and properly have each other….. and he rocks his hips in a way that’s delicious.. and he’s got you in his ear begging him so sweetly not to stop, so why would he?

(in either instance youre both cumming your pants. lil jon is embarrassed & heavily breathing and later seasons jon huffs out a laugh before moving to peel off your clothes & fuck you proper)

[dxmxuse]

A few things ive been doing recently that help manage my adhd

Not sure if this will help anyone but i've made a list of things ive been working really hard to do to help manage my adhd and general inability to be a functional adult:

Make reminder posters! Get on canva and create personalized posters to put around your room/house to help remind you to do daily things like take your meds, feed pets, take out trash, etc.

Keep a junk notebook! Anything you think of that cant do immediately write it down. If its important it'll help you remember it, if not it saves you from getting distracted or making impulsive decisions. (This is especially helpful if you tend to get distracted when studying!)

CLEAN AS YOU GO! Whether its taking a cup out of your room every time you leave or washing each dish immediately after use. If you can develop this habit it keeps your space so much cleaner!

Have two laundry bins: one for worn but not dirty things and one for dirty things. It limits what ends up on your floor!

Make use of bins. I have several around my apartment that I use for things that dont have a home. Once those bins are full, I go through them and discard or find a permanent home for them.

Don't study/work at home. Even if it means buying a $5 coffee just so you can sit in a spot and effectively work, its much better than getting so behind on tasks you get overwhelmed.

It takes some work to develop habits and im far from perfect with all of these, but if I can do these things even 3 days a week it makes a huge difference!

[cupoftaae]

Still Perfect (JK Drabble)

Summary- Your mind is playing evil tricks on you again, and the only one who can bring you back down to earth is your husband, the one you are ashamed to admit everything to.

Warnings- swearing, minor angst, they are in luv its cute, mentions of depression (reader), mentions of medications. 18+

Enjoy <3

"Baby...I'm gonna take Gia outside to test the new swing I put up, do you wanna come?" Jungkook whispered, his hand on your back as you laid in the dark bedroom at 2 in the afternoon.

You sighed, looking up at your husbands face, "I want to but I just...Im so tired"

He nodded sadly, "okay...thats okay you dont have to, I'll take pictures?"

"yes please" you smile weakly

"mama!! mama! lets go outside!" Your 3 year old, Gia, runs into the room and stands beside your bed.

Jungkook was quick to pick her up into his arms, squeezing her, "mama isnt feeling too good right now, shes gotta rest." he whispered

"again?" your daughter pouted, her big eyes looking down at you- and with single glance, your heart was broken into 5 million pieces.

Jungkook frowned, "hey, sometimes adults get tired, its okay, we will go have fun in the backyard and you can see mama later? wave bye bye" he held her small hand up and waved for her as he began to leave the room, mouthing a soft "love you" in your direction before the door shut.

with that, the tears began to flow.

Your depression struggles have always found a way into your family, when you were dating jungkook you spent so much time explaining that sometimes you just cant function, and he was the first boyfriend you had that understood and didnt make you feel like a piece of shit for struggling with something out of your control.

It was nice, but then the fears that he would leave set in.

He always tries his best to make sure you feel loved and appreciated, when he proposed, he took you to Italy for 3 weeks just to be alone with you.

And your wedding was no different either.

He made sure you felt beautiful the way you were, showing you off at any chance he could, and even stepping away from the after party with you for a bit when things got overwhelming.

Many emotions were experienced when you became pregnant after 3 months of marriage. The guilt in believing you werent a good mother, the guilt for not having enough energy to eat most days even though you knew it wasnt just about/for yourself.

The self neglect was the worst part, and if jungkook had not been there to help you through all of the ugly, you dont know what you would have done.

You love him so much and the thought that maybe he doesnt feel that from you is terrifying, the thought that your daughter is only 3 and is already catching onto her mothers odd behavior is alarming.

Gia sees her friends moms play with them, she goes over to her cousins house and plays with their mom, why doesnt her own mom have that energy?

The tears seeped into the silk pillows as you squeezed your eyes shut.

This was how it often was for you: no emotion at all, or sadness. thats it, since you were 13.

No amount of doctor visits or therapy could fix you, and now you were letting it ruin your family.

-

A bit after Jungkook brought Gia inside, she fell asleep on the couch in the living room.

He smiled and took a photo of her small bundled up body laying on the cushion before making his way upstairs to show you.

"honey, you awake?" he mumbled, sliding open the door and walking in.

You were facing the opposite wall, feeling absolutely numb.

"baby" he smiled, kissing your forehead, "you okay? you wanna see the videos of gia?"

You tried to open your mouth to talk but nothing came out, instead your eyes teared up again and you turned your face further into the pillow to hide.

He frowned, putting his phone away as he climbed under the covers with you, his larger body spooning against yours. "sweetheart, whats going on?" his hand brought you closer

"I dont know" you whispered quietly

"just not doing good again?" he questioned, hand rubbing your side softly to soothe you.

You nod, unable to talk.

"im here for you, did you take your medication?"

"no.."

"okay well lets do that now so we dont forget, okay?" he sat up and pulled open your nightstand drawer, taking the pill you take daily and handing it to you alongside a water bottle.

You gently sat up and leaned against the headboard, taking the pill.

"where is she?" you asked quietly, teary eyes catching to kooks in the dimly lit bedroom.

"she passed out on the couch downstairs, bam is laying with her" he smiled, finding a cozy spot beside you again.

"am I a bad mom?" you question, watching his face contort

"what? why would you ask me that? of course you arent"

"jungkook I havent been able to leave the room for 2 days, this isnt normal....she misses me, she needs her mommy and im failing her" your voice cracked slightly as jungkook immediately brought you into his arms, caging you against him.

"dont talk like that, you are such an amazing woman, y/n. I would have never married you otherwise. You are so fucking strong and you cant let yourself fall into this dark space, you are struggling, yes, but we take it step by step, just like we've always done." he rubs your back as he speaks, "and Gia doesnt feel left out, she would not stop talking about you the entire time we were outside. Dont tell her I told you but she picked a bunch of 'flowers' for you" he giggled, "I didnt have the heart to tell her they were just weeds"

You allow yourself to laugh softly, leaning into your husbands embrace.

"you are doing so well....so incredibly well baby. I know life isnt always fair but we cant blame ourselves, we have to pick up what we have learned and move on as stronger people."

You nod, looking at him as he wipes the tear on your cheek.

"my beautiful girl, I love you so much, you know that?"

You smile sadly, "I love you too"

"can I take you downstairs and we can cuddle on the couch? I'll cook for you, you havent eaten in hours"

"okay" you sniff, allowing jungkook to help you up and keep a blanket wrapped around your body.

-

"mommy!"

Gia's toothless smile greeted you as you came downstairs, Bam laying on her protectively.

"Hi baby" you waved and walked over, sitting onto the couch and letting her crawl into your lap. "I missed you sweetheart, oh- your overalls are backwards" you giggled softly

Jungkook blushed as he sat on the other side of you, sharing a funny glance with his daughter.

"daddy dress me" she whispered

"I can tell" you smile, squeezing her tightly and rocking back and forth gently.

"my pretty girls" jungkook whispered, more so to himself than directed at you both.

"and bammy" gia added on, hiding her face against your chest.

"and bammy" you insisted, rubbing her back

Jungkook leaned over to wrap you two into his arms, kissing both of your heads.

"did you have fun outside" you asked

Gia giggled, "yeah...but daddy pushed the swing too much, I fell" she babbled

"what?" You look at your husband

"shes okay, shes breathing, shes here" he began, smothering his hands over his little girls face as she laughed loudly.

"mama feeling okay?" she asked once you all calmed down,

"mama is doing okay, my dear. Dont worry about me, I love you so much" you squished her face softly and kissed her nose

"love you more!!" she added, clapping her hands

"Love you most!!" You couldnt help but smile as jungkook leaned his head against the back of the couch, eyes drawn on his wife and daughter only.

"i'll make some lunch" he spoke, standing

"yay!! I help?" Gia hopefully asked

"no no, you girls sit there and look cute" he winked at you before walking off to the kitchen, bam following him in hopes of getting a treat.

You loved your little family, and you wouldnt trade them for anything the world had more to offer.

They were the ones who got your through the toughest part of life, and you were grateful that in this moment you didnt have to fake a smile.

[bluedeedeedoop]

OKAY.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAY

guys i have been inactive all day because IVE WENT THROUGH 100 DIFFERENT EMOTIONS AND HAVE BEEN SO EXCITED IM JUST SO EXHAUSTED BUT OH MY LORD BARRISS IS BACK I CAN BARELY TYPE.

am i still gonna be delusional and hope for barrissoka?? hell yeah. do i have more to say about barriss returning? fuck yeah i do. am i physically capable of discussing this further? HONESTLY I DONT EVEN KNOW BECAUSE I CANT REGULATE MY EMOTIONS. anyways i was able to post some shit on my instagram story about it if yall wanna see that it’s linked in my carrd.

i want to say more i really do, but i’m exhausted, overwhelmed, AND SO FUCKING EXCITED I CANT FUNCTION.