#idk. I think I'll just keep walking | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

boyapologist · 5 months ago

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oh my gawd it's bingo night

#I almost went inside but I got scared someone would ask me questions #it is in fact a weirdo move to walk into a church bingo in jeans with flip-flops and an eras tour t-shirt #everyone here looks kinda dressed up #it's not a small event in any way. I think I could to unoticed and just people watch for a couple of hours #but I'm way too anxious for that lol #the thought of being alone in a place were everyone has company is kinda depressing as well #idk. I think I'll just keep walking #rambles*

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spacedlexi · 10 months ago

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"sounds nice... having a partner"

#the walking dead game #twdg #violentine #clementine twdg #violet twdg #MAANN when clem says this in s3 JUST WAIT BBY #people who say clemvi has no basis like ep2 isnt just them working as a team for 2 and a half hours regardless of player choice #like be fr #clem telling louis that violet patching up the back wall is ok because she needed something to keep herself busy. married behavior #vi asking clem to help check in on everyone while she deals with the wall. their shared smile when she comes back outside :)#and then they sit in the leadership spot together overlooking the yard and everything theyve planned together coming to fruition :)#sorry i just think their romance set up in eps 1 and 2 is obvious as FUCK and im tired of (Some) people pretending it isnt #'i havent seen her warm up to someone in a long time' brody literally tells clem that vi seems to like her after its been 24 hours #after shes been a block of ice for a whole year. and clem just melted those walls down immediately while they fought walkers together #violet is so devoted to clem post ep1 its embarrassing for her #'i saw she had you pinned and i- shit i got So crazy...' sorry if you dont think shes in love with clem idk what to tell you #'i'll tear that boat apart before we leave without you' i know you would girlie!!!#the animators went CRAAZAYAYAYAY the way they look at each other... their little smiles at each other....even before the belltower #the way clem looks at her while they dance.... the way she puts her head down on her shoulder so contentedly....#and then she keeps her head on violets shoulder as she pulls away so clems chin gets dragged with it like she doesnt want to let go #'so you never forget that night' 'i never will' they are DISGUSTINGLY in love with each other it makes me physically ill #its 2024 and im still hearing 'i just didnt see it :/'. lazerbeams you #spaced art 2024

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bunnihearted · 26 days ago

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🫖🐭☁️🍚

#so i did meet my old friend from years ago yesterday. i was sooooo nervous omgggg. and i was waiting outside the café we agreed on #and then saw them walk in and i was like omgggg. the anxiety... but then i gathered courage and walked towards it and thry saw me thru the #window and came out and immediately hugged me. then they were like 'omg i've been so nervous. even more than before like a date!!'#so that made me relax a bit. i feel like i dont really fully estimate what i mean to them. maybe they care about me as well haha !!#then we just got our stuff and i chose a smoothie and was ready to pay but they just got it with their stuff (they work at this chain so #they got a discount). i feel so so bad & anxious when someone else pays for me. like i feel like a burden #but i asked twice if i should send them money for it and they were like no that's fine. so i had to tell myself to just shut up abt it 🥲#bc if u keep asking u make it into a thing and make them uncomfortable etc. so i really appreciated that and it was nice even if i felt bad #but yeah then we just sat down and talked. and it was so much easier to talk to them than i had been worried abt #like it flew nicely and yeah.. i feel like i forgot a lot abt them. like they're good at conversating. so they kept it going & even if i was #awkward it was fine for them. i did however get swept up in my own anxiety so as they asked me questions i answered #but then was too whirlwindy so i didnt really ask as much back and there were things i wanted to ask but didnt :')))#then they had cards and a card game with them. so we played for a bit too. and it was a lot of fun!!! (i was anxious and kinda slow lmao #bc when i dont know smth or the rules etc already my brain stops working so yeah.. even if it was simple games i was like um um what do i do #felt stupid but yeah again they didnt do anyhing to contribute to me feeling stupid but i still felt slow >.<#but i still thought that was so much fun. i wanna do more of that T-T like yeah...that was nice #then we took a lil longer walk to a bus stop before hastily said goodbye bc the busses came T-T #it was really really really nice tho. i have missed them a lot #and i didnt .. think we would ever see eachother again. i really didnt think this could happen #im so glad i somehow got brave enough to message them and im so so glad they wanted to see me too #i cant help but wish i could go back to when we were younger #and we spent every day in school together and messaged during the days and evenings and spent sm time together #when we went into the city like several times a week and took long walks. ahh... well. im glad we got to have those moments #& idk what will happen now. i really really want to see them again. even if we'll never be that close friends again i'd *wish* that we could #still be in touch. but im so bad at replying which doesnt go over great with them.. i'll try my best to reply quicker to them #*if* they message me. sadly i cant erase my avpd but i'll try my best to reply faster if and when they message)#they also complimented my sweater i was wearing (which is my fav sweater) !!!! and yeah.. they looked so cool. which they always have #and i kept thinking abt how nice their eye makeup was (i was too shy to compliment it tho bc im really bad at like 'nice' affectionate and #anything feeling related. like im so bad... so i couldnt say anything </3)#ugh it was just so nice to sit and talk with them. im so glad i went despite my fears. bc this was so good and nice :')))

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shikai-the-storyteller · 6 months ago

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TBH the best case scenarios in my mind for Fit's lore ending on Thursday are either:

Madagio has mercy. They know what it's like to lose everyone they love, and seeing what's happening on Quesadilla Island is just a reminder of everything they loved and lost. Madagio releases Fit, and he reunites with Pac e Mike and Richarlyson, and they're all able to leave Quesadilla Island.

Or:

Madagio and Fit destroy the Federation together. Fit goes full 2B2T mode and there's nothing left of the Federation once they're finished. Madagio and Fit finally have their revenge. (And then maybe Fit can reunite with Pac + all his loved ones and they escape the Island, or reclaim the island for their own since the Federation no longer has any power over them).

Bonus: A very unlikely but "Wouldn't it be fun?" scenario would be Pac and Mike flying down on a fully-grown dragon Richas and rescuing Fit from Vacuus Island and they fly away and live happily ever after.

#i talk #qsmp talk #Genuinely need a vacation after the past two weeks (or however long it's been)#I keep seeing people say ''the best case scenario is Fit dying lol'' and I clearly care WAY too much because seeing that made me legit mad #Did my whole ''lmao ok let's calm down and take a walk'' and went out for a few hours only to come back and be like #''no actually I'm still mad. This entire situation sucks.''#I think this will probably be the last mcyt type series I let myself get invested in. I'm so exhausted of being disappointed #and the constant angst the fandom churns out #I wanna be able to love things without getting burned #I've got enough things to be sad over irl I don't want my escapism series making me sad too #Worst case scenario for me is Fit dying or him getting trapped in 2b2t again #and/or him saying q!Pac is dead #I'll be honest: CCs killing off their character feels like a betrayal to the people who have spent so much time loving them #and like yeah there probably ARE ways to do it well #but it's like. why would you choose that option there are so many better options #negative #idk man I'm just frustrated by this whole thing #all the untagged suicide jokes are making me frustrated too

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cold--carnage · 19 days ago

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roommate's dog peed on my floor again :/

#🦅.homelander #I take her out during the day but I think she just has like bladder control problems #idk she's an old dog #I just don't wanna have to keep my floors perfectly clear just because there's a chance the dog might pee on my stuff #we like #barely have the spoons to manage our own basic body needs so decluttering is pretty low priority #but if this keeps happening I guess I'll have to #whatever #I'm so exhausted #I barely slept #and Deep is yelling at me because I was mean to him in source #(which is meaningless and I think he knows that but I think he just likes having an excuse to be in front)#and I can't get our persecutor to leave me the fuck alone (this one is actually a serious issue)#AND i have a doctor's appointment later that I have to walk to #so I'm having a tough one guys

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bootyful-seventeen · 1 year ago

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i am too mentally exhausted to even deal with this shit anymore with my mom and grandma and low key wish i'd go comatose for a few years to be left alone tbh

#had a clean up service come by to see the damage and give a quote on the estimate and my grandma wasnt having it #she got upset and started crying to them about she has only 1 daughter and is trying to help her and they're trying to tell her that keepin #all that junk isn't gonna be helping anyone especially my mom but she wasn't getting it and i said i'm not helping clean the junk that's #all around the house cuz i'm tired of it all and having to manage my emotions since i am for sure emtotionally stunted from my childhood #and have to deal with a schitzophrenic mom and an absent sister who's balls deep in denial while i'm struggling to find a job here #and my grandma always stressing me ot saying she's gonna kick me out isn't fucking helping here at all like she thinks it does #so when they left she spent all day sobbing on the phone how i'm a terrible granddaughter who wants to throw out good stuff #when i'm not gonna keep helping sell shit for my mom cuz my sister can do it as her family contribution since she did nothing since dad die #and the thing is i gave them all options on clearing shit out cuz i know this family by now and shit doesn't get tossed but it migrates #cuz i said months ago i can ask some friends if they could come down and help sort and declutter #grandma said no to that and said she'll kick me out if i do it and she didn't want to pay for my mom's shit to get moved into a storage uni #she leaves the clean up to my mom and i think the backyard got worse but she didn't call anyone to throw out the junk like she threatened t #so i call a fucking hoarders clean up service cuz that's what my family is on my mom's side at this point and the city will be called too #and she has this reaction cries all day and calls everyone to say i'm horrible and yells at me saying i'm the one killing her with stress #when she's already been doing that for months to herself when i'm just tired and possibly mildly depressed or something idk #i barely leave my room and don't go outside except to walk my dog but idk cuz my family's attittude was we don't go to doctors cuz #cuz they're for crazy people but of course it's gotta switch up for my mom and no one else and i'm just sick of it all #grandma doesn't accept free help and she won't accept help that i pay for myself with my money set aside for school so i'm done #unlike her when i say i'll do something i stick to it so i'm not doing shit anymore unless i can call a friend to help with this mess #it's gonna sound like such a horrible thing but i can't wait for my family to die so i can live in a clean home again and get help #like deep serious help cleaning and big time grief councelling cuz i barely had time to process my dad's death and being the one to find hi #and that was just this february like god i am going to need so much fucking therapy in my future it's almost rediculous #and probably say screw my mom's side and visit my dad's side a lot more since they seem to be the normal ones in this shit family tree #at least they're not stupid and leave junk everywhere where one neighbour getting sick of not being able to sit outside and enjoy their yar #without mountains of junk staring them right in the face and landing a notice from the city to clean up especially since #we have chainlink fences and at least 7 neighbours can see the backyard and everyone can see the front porch when passing by #i'm just tired of living in these suffocating households and even wanna file a report myself to kick them into gear #its horrible living like this and no one should live surrounded by junk and things they never use or even garbage

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bangcakes · 11 months ago

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.

#personal #was gonna message today but then i DIDNT. IDK. IT DIDNT FEEL RIGHT. AND I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.#I KNEE THE TOPIC BUT LIKE. WORDING ?????? WORDS???? IT WOULDNT COME #its okay tho. its okay. i literally have a fuckin note on my phone where i put shid i can talk to him about in the future NDNNDNDJXJDJDJDMD #GOD LMAO. IVE NEVER PUT THIS MUCH EFFORT IN. IM SO......#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh its mostly been me messaging first but like he keeps it going....... GOD LMAO #it was like that in person too tho. like we would just stand/walk n not say anything JDJDJFJKFKFJXMXMX GOD #i wasnt made for this oml. i dont even talk to ppl that much. like idk. iDK.#i just... 1. i dont want him to forget about me 2. i dont want him to think i forgot about him #3. i dont want him to think im not interested in talking to him anymore #ok 2 and 3 are basically the same but JDJDJDJDJDJDJDJD #IM SO BAD AT KEEPING IN TOUCH. LIKE THIS IS SUCH A CONSCIOUS EFFORT ON MY PART. LIKE. I HOPE HE REALIZES????#also like. id love if hed message me first. hes done it before. but there was more to talk about while the sem was still going. now its #like... ok we can talk about exams n grades but now its christmas so like ??????#and like. GOD. is it like... is it TOO MUCH??? to say merry xmas to him?????? or would it be normal?????#im just ???????#GOD. i want him to know i like him but i also uh.... DONT??????? IDK IDK #i also kinda wanna see if we can even be friends outside school. but like HHHHHHHHHH i cant take it. I WANNA SEE HIM XJFIRKRIRFDIODDKHDJZJZ #hhhhhh god pls dont let me be the only one feeling this way istg #im just !!!!!@@@ i never expected this to happen to me ok. but if its Reciprocated. like TRULY. i think i'll actually like. break down #crying JDJDJDJKDKDKDKDKDKX #like Happy tears. like.... Disbelieving tears. hhhhhhhh #but..... n e way. i got this far. and when ppl dont like you they avoid you or come up with excuses. but rather hes moving like Toward me.#like i couldnt have gotten this far without him like.... Participatjng #god its all so new and weird. i just #if youve never felt this way. you probably will one day and wont know what the fuck to do. its all just too weird #literally went from like screamin about sj to like. a guy in my class JDJZKDKKZZMZMZ its fjne. its ok #know hes Cute tho.#thats another thing. i never imagined i could like have someone so Cute.... god. i'll die if he likes me back. hes so so Cute. not my usual #type. like. physically i mean. personality wise hes typical of me NFNFJFJFMFDMDM n e way. hit the tag limit 😳

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orcelito · 4 months ago

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Ykno the suckiest thing about being broken up with for someone else is that like. Well I'm doing generally fine, all things considered, but I Am kinda sad thinking about the things I've lost and all the casual affection that I can't have now.

But she's out there having all the affection she wants from her coworker, and it's just like. Damn this feels so skewed and SO unfair.

#speculation nation #and then U add in the fact that the girl she broke up with me for is already dating someone else (poly sort of situation)#and im just like. WHYYYYY did she break up with me instead of trying to negotiate poly???#she was gonna at first but when i expressed concern about poly given her obvious communication problems about it #then she dropped me like a hot coal. like sorry i wasnt about to let myself be stood up and ignored for basically a whole day #just to accept u trying to negotiate poly. like What?????#anyways i may have a bit of a history with being a bit of an asshole and breaking up with them #but at LEAST ive never broken up with anyone to immediately start dating someone else #and at LEAST ive broken up with them in person and not over text!!! the fuck?????#i keep alternating between 'surprisingly okay with it all' and 'maybe a little sad' and 'absolutely fucking LIVID'#and i keep wanting to yell at her more but i already said quite a lot of things. so id just be repeating myself #and at that point id just be a vitriolic piece of shit. which i try not to be.#so im letting her live in peace while i continue to be So Pissed about it and it just sucks man lmfao #why do i gotta be the bigger person fr. i even apologized for the hurtful things i was saying in anger. literally in that same conversation.#and she gets to pull this stunt and walk free and spend so much time with her new 'love' ignoring the world etc etc #honestly i hope it fails miserably for her. bc sure theres a chance it works out but every single part of this is impulsive and So Stupid.#and even tho my ex agreed with me when i told her it was INSANE. she was just like 'i have to' like OKAY????#jesus fucking christmas she's revealed a side to me that i really hadnt seen before.#so i hope it fails and i hope she tells me about it. i hope she owns up to her mistakes. for my own satisfaction.#but i have 0 intention on ever taking her back. because what the fuck????#i may be a flawed individual with plenty of problems. but i still have basic fucking dignity. and i am NOT accepting this back in my life.#and god damn her friend is moving into the unit across from mine for this coming year #and i may have to see my ex sometimes bc of it 😭😭😭#the friend seemed generally level headed tho. idk if i happen across him & he doesnt avoid me maybe i'll ask him what he thinks of this #bc she was treating me with such love and affection showing me off to all her friends. and then she drops me like a fucking coal.#i wouldnt say i made friends with them myself but we were at least friendly. so i doubt theyd have a good opinion of her for this.#so would the friend loyalty take precedence? or would he be willing to chat with me and confirm Yeah what the fuck?#bc if i had a friend who did this same exact thing id be side-eyeing them SO hard.#id support them bc theyre my friend but i would also be like 'hey uh Why did you do that. that was pretty awful of u you know that right'#& itd also make me more cautious of them too. for being Able to drop someone so suddenly lol.

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kuromi-hoemie · 1 year ago

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re:self perception, I feel like that one drawing where the person is Very lesbian from head to toe but like she lost her pin or her bracelet broke or something and she’s like “oh no how will people be able to tell now ):” except me with being trans.

except my analog for the pin is I’m just not in makeup or making slightly more of an effort to dress fem. like idk, shaved face alone I already feel really pretty and own so few masculine looking outfits so idk? (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) I would hope I don’t come across as cis esp interacting with other trans ppl lol.

anyways, at least on here I feel like we’re afraid to talk to other trans ppl on the street bc we don’t want to out/clock them but we also desperately want to be Seen and interacted with by other trans folk when we’re out. idk... is getting clocked by another trans person rly even that bad? would we not be rly happy to have another trans person pick us out from the crowd and be excited to talk to us? Personally I don’t rly care about “passing” and all the implicit standards around it and just kinda see clocking as a neutral “i can tell”.

street etiquette is confusing. idk what the answer is or even what my question is exactly, I just know there’s a lot of trans ppl out there who wish they knew More trans ppl and that we’re also kind of afraid to interact with each other when we’re out. what’s up with that?

these r just some silly passing thoughts so don’t read too much into it, but ykwim though?

#like..#i know we'd be more comfies interacting in an implicitly/explicitly social setting like a party or a picnic or whatever #but what about the ppl who don't rly do anything except shop and hang at home ? where/how do u meet ppl #lately i've tried just being more social and friendly in general wherever i am and it seems to be going fine? at like stores n stuff #but out on the actual street i think is still an area where i'm like aaaa idk what to do i'll just mind my business #and ideally it'd be nice if we could just Look at each other and maybe give some kind of signal that we'd like to say hi 👉👈#but also I VERY much relate to just keeping my eyes forward and having tunnel vision when i'm out walking bc i'm trying to both #be confident and also don't want to be perceived but don't want to Seem like i'm trying to not be perceived.#BUT THAT'S FOR CISHET PPL YKWIM?? like 😭#my people... pls say hi #idk #it me. the overthinker.

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magnusmodig · 5 months ago

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||. thor misunderstanding earthen housing norms in the modern day is SO funny to me to think about. He's doing his best, but between being from another planet with far more advanced technology (and much more "archaic" culture customs) on top of also being a PRINCE, I would imagine some normal practices and understandings of things simply don't click with him more than others.... Not because he's not smart. Thor is incredibly intelligent. ONLY because of the huge culture divide. But... that said: the concept of having neighbors who own their own land right next to yours, but the plots of land are TINY ??? absolutely crazy to him. Why aren't the plots of land BIGGER? why don't more people utilize it to farm crops???

Also don't get him STARTED on the idea - or nature of - apartments.

#(it's just— i'm realizing that living with jan.e fo//st.e.r would have taught him SO much??)#(i can imagine him questioning everything about /everything/ on occasion...)#(just... ja/.ne and th.o/r chilling around breakfast and he decides he's got a severe case of the toddler why's)#(he's curious about a common practice and wants to understand the logic of it— who better to make it make sense than his beloved)#(even something as basic as a house key. why does he NEED that? he's never needed a “house key” for his palace)#(he can just /walk in/??? ask the guards to open the doors??? use a biometric lock??? )#(— ah but is the “house key” for a secret compartment perhaps? a hidden passage? a secret chest???)#(what's the house key for if not for something particularly worthwhile??? it's so archaic ?? it must be very old.)#(what??? it was made yesterday??? It actually /IS/ for the front door????)#(what do you /mean/ you haven't got guards or sentries and the po-lice can't offer THEIR services with compensation)#(the avenger's tower does it??? shield does it???? he thought that would be normal for earth houses???)#(he doesn't see how that's supposed to keep j.a//ne safe all that well >> he's decided he's going to fix /that/ first thing.)#(granted: i doubt he'd actually ask or comment most of this out loud but it'd likely be what he's thinking)#(anyways he wouldn't /use/ the key when he has a balcony they can just keep unlocked so he can get in from there)#(and he'd probably have a similar setup on the avengers tower)#(it isn't as though anyone will reach it from up so high. he can fly. it'll be fine.)#(furthermore ...... he'd probably break his house keys....)#(...always on accident tho.... he'd want to keep his house key from ja.n//e safe bc it's from her)#( ooc . ) — stories that leap from the page .#(i'm mostly rambling my thoughts out loud - this would make a really cute domestic fos.ter/s//on fic)#(someone write this and then show me)#(or maybe i'll do it idk)

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dogscircle · 5 months ago

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i just napped for like 4 hrs. uh. hello.

#logbook #did my half day ate lunch and then was like. i'll go rest at rents while they're out and about.#ended up napping. knew it was happening once i couldnt keep my eyes open but i swear i set an alarm. now its after 7.#i bet exes arent home. havent heard anything. and if i go home i'll have to watch the dog til they come back.#'just leave him crated' he'll whine and cry bc ofc he knows i'll be home. and i dont have space for him in the room rn.#but he also deserves to be out and spend time. and i love spending time with him.#idk that whole mentality of 'not your animal' pisses me off bc when you live with someone elses pet they sort of DO become your pet.#like sorry but you share the space. i dont pay vet bills or buy food but i do actually feed fhem. and walk him #sometimes. and i spend time with all 4. i take leia outside to smell the air. and i nap with them #the cats and the dog snuggle me and greet me at the door. i think they know i'm leaving bc theyve been sooo affectionate.#and also half of these problems wouldnt exist with them if it wasnt negative towards me or i still slept in the bed lol #im going to miss them so much it hurts. . .and i know its going to affect them bc it did with the puppies and it has with emira.#didnt mean for this to become a sad log yet here we are. sigh.#so much for my half day. i was going to game and plan out house stuff but. oh well.#my body probably needs the rest anyways.

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bunnihearted · 4 months ago

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𐙚 ‧₊˚ ⋅

#i know im way too intense and melodramatic #but i keep feeling so sad and starting to cry constantly bc everything reminds me of him #like when im outside and feel the breeze against me all i can think is how i'll never walk next to him and know what his hand feels in mine #when im going on an errand i think of im never gonna do it with him and feel his hand on the small of my back #and turn my head to look up at him while we're talking abt anything and everything #when im on my walks i get so sad bc i've fantasized a million times abt going on different kinds of walks with him #but now i dont even have the hope that i'll ever get to go on a walk with him and point at all the birds i see #or show him the snails i find :c or talk to him or walk in comfortable silence #when it rains .. he reminds me of rain and i feel so sad bc i'll never be held or hold him while it rains outside #when im in the grocery store all i can think abt is how he will never occupy the empty space around me #i'll never get to walk up next to him while he browses a shelf and grab his arm and pull him close to me #i'll never get to put my arms around his waist and feel him pull me close and rest my head against his shoulder #it's all i can think abt....#when i read a book or watch a show i wanna talk to him abt it. when smth happens i want to tell him #i wont ever get to cook for him or take care of him or listen to his worries and try to be there for him #i'll never get to play video games or watch movies with him #the loss of him hurts so bad bc it's just him him him for me (i know it cant be anymore i know) but no one is him #i keep wondering what he'd think of this or that or just like literally everything #i dont know.. i just keep crying bc i think of it all the time and it hurts so bad bc ???#also he's the only one i've felt safe and comfortable showing certain sides of aspect of myself. i never thought it was possible but w him #it was. so idk i feel so hollow on my own account lol... i feel selfish bc ofc i care abt him and want him to be happy but i hurt sm too so

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sovaharbor · 6 months ago

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pretty sure i have endo becausw holy shit. holy shit. Holy Shit .

#my period starts but the first 2-3 days are so light #then day 3 or 4 all hell breaks loose #and i have this flare-up of such BAD CRAMPING for a few hours???#like it builds when i wake up in the morning then it usually hits around 11 or 12 #and it'll peak and i'll be like fucking miserable and every month im like #'you know what. having babies is not worth this. i think i should just get an ablation and be done with this'#ive been sitting on my bathroom floor pverheating and in pain for hours now and i #i think? the peak is over?#idk. my hips randomly started cramping now so im a little scared it's not actually over but ughhhhhhh #but im not overheating anymore so that's good at least #idfk. im tired. but i can't go lay in bed because i keep having to go on the toilet and WALKING MAKES ME CRAMP MOREEE #so. bathroom floor. watching the upside down show on yt as i mentally recover from yet another hellish month 😭

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hella1975 · 1 year ago

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happy eurovison!! do your stretches!!!

babe it's been days since i did my stretches at this point im too scared

#in my defence idk WHAT was going on with my sunday shift bc i only waitressed 7 hours and that's a pretty normal shift for me #like im aware compared to a normal person it would be very difficult to just out of nowhere expect them to be on their feet #walking back and forth the entire length of a restaurant regularly carrying heavy things all the while keeping up ABOVE AND BEYOND socially #for SEVEN ENTIRE HOURS with ZERO BREAK like masking that entire time on top of the 7 hour physical workout #like it's insane if u think about it for more than 2 seconds and im really trying to bc every time i falter i beat the shit out of myself #and like? NO? my job is actually very physically demanding and emotionally draining compared to most people's day-to-day activity #it's gonna have impacts sometimes!#so yeah long story short i finished my shift sunday and when i tell you my legs LOCKED UP in bed that night #like mainly my thighs but it was all in my hips and knees and it was so bad that i lay there until 2am before getting painkillers #bc i couldnt hack it #which is SAYING SOMETHING for me bc im normally both quite good with pain and also a hardass for taking painkillers #ive had that happen once before (again after waitressing lol) & never worried about it but my mum recently got diagnosed with arthritis #and ever since ive been like. Looking at my own joints any time they even HINT at playing up #like i am RENOWNED for inhereting all of my mum's medical shit from mental to physical like i KNOW i'll get it it's just a matter of when #and yeah that was sunday it's now tuesday and my thighs STILL feel bruised #and im like. embarassed about it bc it's not like i did anything spectacular? and idk why it's happening?#yeah idk hiiii rori did u like me ranting about my physical health in ur stretch reminder ask sorry do u still think im hot <3 #ask

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wickedhawtwexler · 1 year ago

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did i tell y'all how i suggested to The Guy I Kinda Went On A Date With that we see a movie next time we hang out and his response was "idk there aren't any good places to see movies" like. sir. we live in new york city. what the actual fuck are you talking about 😭

#there are FIFTEEN movie theaters in manhattan alone!!! we WALKED PAST ONE while we were walking to the subway!!!#i keep second guessing my choice to disengage and then i remember something else stupid this man said to me #i'm just ANNOYED because we talked about all these cool things we could go do. take the ferry see a show whatever #and like. idk this dude was a little grating but i think we could've had a good time exploring the city or whatever #but no!!! it was all talk. he literally only wanted to go to one of our apartments to “watch a documentary”#like if that's what you want dude that's fine but i also think like me suggesting 5+ other things we should do next time —#— is a sign that we are maybe not on the same page!!!#i wasn't even into this dude to begin with i wanted to back out as soon as i realized he was flirting with me and i should have #but it's just hard to tell for sure and i didn't want to miss out on the opportunity to make a friend bc i have so few irl friends #anyway i want to say i'll shut up about this but i probably won't lmaooo #m.txt

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crow-rai · 1 year ago

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the whole: you deserve better, so i became better, bit✨ rawr

#maybe you're rolling your eyes at me as you read this cuz wow how pathetic #maybe i upset you. i feel like i upset you a lot. and i feel so bad. and sometimes. idk what i did wrong #maybe my best to be better isnt good enough #maybe it never will be.#maybe i have tried to be better and maybe i'll never be good enough #i keep talking too much. i'm so overwhelming to people. yikes #not me imagining you reading this and getting so annoyed with it or like upset with me. maybe you'll walk away.#maybe you think i'll never be good for you #maybe i can't make you happy #and maybe this is just like super ridiculous and dumb

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